#idk if i like this or i'm going to re-write it because it feels less good than the other sections :)

[pollyna]

Out of all the Dagger squadron Callie is the one who knows Admiral Kazansky the longer and, even before Top Gun, she was already eating at his table one every seven days. Just without Maverick around, even if she knew he was married. After every piece just fits where it should.

She was twenty-seven when an imposing dude, a Lieutenant Commander, asked her to be the attache during a conference with some Chinese delegation. Callie had accepted so fast she almost fell out of the chair for the enthusiasm and the Lieutenant had left her room laughing under his breath because oh this kid. In the end she had to do very little because Admiral Kazansky knew exactly what to say and how to say without her help, but he offered her a job because he knew her knowledge was going to be useful sooner than later. Callie had worked for two whole years with the man, in briefings, war rooms she theoretically wasn't supposed to be, over breakfast at the Admiral house with other ten people and over dinner in gala she hated but not how much the Admiral did. She worked for him and with him, learning as much as she could, translating during the Admiral's bad days when his fingers where as fast and hard as the things he would have liked to say but couldn't. When she got called in Top Gun, for the first time, she was barely thirty and the Admiral had hugged her and said you're for the skies not for boring politics. After it was a deployment after another, flying, flying and flying a little more, always to be the best alone and with her WSO.

The second time around Top Gun the Admiral wasn't around to say goodbye or to hug her but he sent a mail with enough big words in it to let Callie understand how important the mission was.

So, when at the end of it all, the squadron starts going around the Admiral, please Callie call me Tom or Iceman at which she answered just if you start calling me Halo Admiral, and the Captain's house she remembers where most things are and she starts making breakfast most of the mornings they stay over to sleep and Bradley himself looks a little lost the first time he has to find a cup in the immensity of the kitchen cupboard. Everybody looks at her like she grown a third head but Mav puts a photos of a younger Admiral and Halo in their whites, in front of the ONU's building. She was the second kid before every single on of you, Bradley excluded the Captain says a shirt two size to big over his pj's pants and Ice hugging his wrist. Fitz almost burns a stack of pancakes, Harvard's glass shatters on the ground and Phoenix murmurs to Bob holy shit I need that photo you see how cute Halo was.

That was a day Tom signs and Halo laughs because yes, yes that was a day she answers before going back to cutting the fruits and ignoring the one hundred questions they all have.

(The weirdest person to be around is Maverick, at the end of the day, because she knows the Admiral but his husband is the wild card. But, in the end, they bond over on too many breakfasts and all the crazy and wild things Tom did for Pete when he was searching for a present for his birthday.)

[chronotopes]

WHY do no virginia colleges have nonfiction mfa programs except for the one i don't really like the nonfiction faculty at. it's not fucking fair.

(warning so much whining occurs in the tags)

[ao3commentoftheday]

Hi! I hope this question makes sense, but: a while back, you recommended that instead of writers feeling like they have to write thousands of words of build-up in order to write the fic idea of their heart, they should do a fanfic speed run and just write the parts they want to write. And if something doesn’t make sense without context, they can always explain the details in an author’s note.

I really want to try out this advice, but . . . I don’t know how? I know that sounds weird, but I’m always worried any emotional impact of my fic is going to be lost if I don’t include the build-up, especially if it’s an AU of any kind. Maybe it’s because I always feel like my fic has to be completely outlined before writing, but IDK. No pressure, but if you feel like it, could you go back and talk about your fic speed run advice again?

Speedrunning fic is my favourite way to write. I love to jump to "the good bits" or start off in media res and then hit all the highlights as I write my way through. Sometimes, I'll get so excited about the part that I'm going to write next that I actually skip parts that I would also love to write, but they just aren't making my brain sing.

There are a lot of different ways to do this, and it will depend on what kind of story you want to write.

The first common trick I use in ship fic, is to start at the point where at least one of my characters is already aware of their feelings and pining and then write how the other one falls in love too. You can pack a lot of emotional tension into that one character trying desperately not to show how they feel and the other character gradually (or suddenly) realizing they feel the same way.

Another way to get people together faster is to use a plot device that forces them to realize how they feel. Stuck in an elevator. Snowed in in an abandoned cabin in the remote woods. Quarantined after exposure to an alien virus (bonus points if they have to shower together Because Science (tm) ). Again, you can create a lot of tension and that cathartic release without needing the story to occupy months or years of time before you get there.

Other great ways of just writing the fun bits are to make use of the series function on AO3. You have a universe that you want to build out but you just want to write this one tiny corner of it right now? It's the first fic in a series, and the next fic can be some completely different part of that world.

You can also do a classic 5+1 story (which have the added bonus of providing you with a title too). 5 Times They Didn't Kiss and 1 Time They Did. 5 Times the Bad Guy Got Away and 1 Time They Didn't. 5 Times There Weren't Any Chips in the Cupboard and 1 Time There Were. These fics are usually written with 1 chapter per "time" so you can time skip as much as you want in between and even be super vague about when and where things are happening at all.

The most important thing to remember is that your audience already knows these characters. They already love them. They already clicked into your story wanting to know about the thing that you said you're going to write. You don't have to spend time convincing anyone that your story is allowed to exist in this AU or with this ship or in this time period or with this ending. The permission was there as soon as you decided to write it.

If you're worried about whether a story can have impact even if it's short, then I recommend you spend some time reading shorter fics and oneshots. People can absolutely devastate you in 500 words or less or fill you with joy in 300 words. It's not about how many words you use to do it, it's about how you use the words you've got.

[vsaintsin]

Writeblr Re-Intro

Yo! I'm V Saintsin. Or V or Vin or Saintsin or whatever you want to call me that sounds right on your tongue. I'm a self-proclaimed Social Media fumbler who got a late start to the party and has never quite figured it out. I hate how hipster and edgy it sounds to say "I'm bad at social media" but like I used to work with some people who actually managed the social media accounts for the business we worked for and there were rules and whatnot and damn, I think online media is just not my medium. That being said, here I am! Hah

I'm an author and general mess who's hoping to be the miracle man (somebody who makes a living writing silly little stories). I do use a pseudonym but please hear me out when I say I didn't realize how edgy it sounds, it just has some sentimental value to my personal life. I'm so sorry that I sound like I'm in my emo phase HAHA

About me -

He/Him Transguy from the American Midwest (arguably the south, depending on who you talk to, but the older people still say "Sodi-pop" and "ope").

I'm dysautonomic, bendy, permanently sleepy, and a survivor of Crappy Doctors Who Suck At Doctoring.

I like DnD, Pathfinder, Baldur's Gate 3, Cyberpunk, Dragon Age, and other things in that vein.

I do make art of my stories and characters (Tablet is currently not working so I'm in a dry spell).

My writing background is predominantly ancient, dusty RPs from as far back as the foopets days and fanfic writing on Quizilla - I am an old and wizened elder of the net.

My formal education was music performance and behavioral neuroscience, I don't really know how I got where I am.

This is not my first rodeo with tumblr but it is the first time I have anything to SAY instead of just lurking.

In the event of malfunction, you can put me outside for 5 minutes and I'll probably factory reset.

My existence as I know it hinges on a massive number of sticky notes plastered throughout my room.

What I'm lookin' for -

Idk, whatever? I'm down for most things. Did you write it? Cool, let me see. I'm not too bent on genre or anything, just fascinated by the art of storytelling.

A bit tentative with fanfiction but that's just because if it's not a fandom I'm familiar with I am rather clueless about what the hell is going on and if it's a fandom I am familiar with I HUNT DOWN THE DEEP LORE.

I like art a whole lot, including fanart. Also art advice, love seeing things from different perspectives and learning something new.

Mutuals, really, for any reason. Building better connections on here, getting to know people. I am hideously bad at this but I try.

What I write -

Science Fiction with heavy subjects that matter to me - trigger warnings on a story-by-story basis.

High Fantasy (eventually books I think?) characters and their backgrounds for DnD and Pathfinder - I have been tempted to share these to help people get ideas or just for free use?

Things that I delete because I have crippling imposter syndrome and publishing makes me nauseous (doin' it tho).

Stories that I hope will make people feel less alone or that people could relate to, stories that I wish I had when life was worse and I was reaching out for anything I could find to keep me afloat, stories that try to be critical of things that SUCK in a way that's any helpful.

Lots of curse words and cussing (that's just how people talk 'round here), dubious science, things that I hope might make you cry but in a good way though.

Character-Driven stories that revolve more around the development of the person and less around the plot itself if that makes sense.

I've put blurb things below for my primary project/series which features a grumpy, queer, 37-year old chain smoking Frenchman and his misadventures with life and love and unbridled rage. If any of that sounds cool stick around and hang out? (This part is a plug bc I did a thing and I'm proud of it) And if my books sounds interesting the first one is 99 cents on Kindle and you just need a phone and a free app to read it!

THE SECRET OF LIFE (Published) - Sci-Fi/Psychological Thriller, Bi M Lead, Lovers to Enemies, AI but the oldschool cool kind not the real world thing that's stealing our future

Carlisle-Trystan Antoinette is a mercenary on a hard road, navigating life and death itself in an infinite cycle started by powers above his understanding. He has one mission - warn The Dianican Space Station of the coming threat and put a stop to a war that would encapsulate the whole of the Sol System before it can ever begin. Unfortunately for Carlisle, reality is a tenuous thing, made up only by our understanding of it. At least, according to his Psychiatrist, who tells him that there is no war, that he was never a mercenary, and that what Carlisle is experiencing is a severe but manageable psychotic break. Stripped of his combat enhancements, his bio monitor, and everything he's every known, Carlisle has a decision to make. Does he give in to the thoughts and memories, so real that he can almost taste them, or does he live a life of comfort and ease, returning to a husband and daughter that he left behind?

TWs: Domestic and War Violence, suicide, rape, medical trauma, grief, drug use

THE SILENCE OF ANGELS (Due July '24, TSoL 2) - Betrayal and Rage, Learning how to love again slow-burn romantic subplot, Learning how to Dad, A general inability for any one thing to just go right

(Quick Rough Blurb that offers no spoilers for TSoL) Making connections isn't easy for somebody who's accustomed to burning bridges. Isolation has always been Carlisle's mantra for surviving his life. Playing a role comes second nature, pretending to be the man that everyone else wants to see in him. When an old friend is murdered Carlisle finds himself as the primary suspect with all evidence pointing to him so clearly that even he calls to question what he is capable of. Unwilling to believe that he could commit such a heinous crime, Carlisle sets off to find the truth of his friend's death - was Carlisle framed or does he truly have the capacity to bring such harm upon those he loves? Old and new bonds will be tested, faith broken, and the future of everyone called into question as lines are drawn and sides are picked.

TWs: Violence, mentions of SA, graphic character death, more grief, more death

I don't know what else to say... Later!

[frociaggine]

anon! I see you! same for the other anon I got 3 weeks ago and left on read — I was trying to decide how to phrase this.

I'm not publishing these in full because I'd rather talk about cool fandom theories I like instead of singling out specific takes I don't agree with.

The one thing I really feel like saying publicly re: TLT fandom discourse is that I think we could all benefit from, like, taking a step back from invoking Tamsyn when it comes to discussing theories or interpretations. I think the tone of the discourse and the fandom as a whole would be a lot healthier if we just agreed that we're getting a lil' bit silly with it, which is 100% what Tamsyn wanted when she started writing, anyway.

There are many fandom posts that EYE would find very compelling if they were presented as "This is a cool idea I had and the lenses through which I choose to engage with this story and these characters..." but often take the tone of "This is CLEARLY what the author means to do, listen up..." — with the implications that people who see things differently are getting a bad grade in lockedtomb reading, and then it stops being fun and it starts getting pretty hostile pretty quick.

I think a lot about Tamsyn's quote "I am writing for my younger self and it would be disgusting of me to try to teach her anything." That's the spirit in which I think it's most fun to engage with her writing. She's an excellent author and her books have a lot going on and many angles you can look at... but they aren't flawless, and she can't have accounted for all the theories the fandom is coming up with. I think we should stop trying to look at these books as though they are That Serious, and give ourselves more credit that maybe we're coming up with stuff the creator never considered, and that doesn't mean your stuff is less valid, but it does mean you shouldn't flex on other fans because you see it and they don't. From everything we know about Tamsyn, she'd probably be the first to say "It's not that deep, unless you want it to be."

For comparison, I've been in ASOIAF fandom for 15 years and we haven't had new material for almost as long and silly theories and renewed interpretations are flourishing every month, and nobody gives a fig about what GRRM was really trying to say because maybe the author's intention isn't the ultimate value of a work, and the author is dead anyway.

IDK. I think we should all get a little sillier with it. I've been guilty of some Not Silly in the past, though hopefully not much, but ultimately I'm here to have fun and so are most people. Especially since TLT is still ongoing, and many interpretations WILL get debunked, we're probably just better off now putting less stock on authorial backing to avoid disappointment later on, and to have more fun as a fandom during the #alectopause.

ANYWAY my askbox is always open specifically to get silly with it. I haven't hornyposted about lyctor sex in a while

[sessakag]

Hi! I'm really curious about your writing process because you're writing so many stories simultaneously which i think is really impressive. 💖 Do you already know what's gonna happen in the story such as the ending? Do you outline the plot before starting a story or is the plot decided as the story goes? Do you also forget what happened in the previous chapters so as that you have to reread them before writing the next chapter?

My writing process can be summed up in one word: chaos.

Absolute chaos, no joke. I am always all over the place, bouncing from one fic to another, files everywhere, folders everywhere, docs everywhere, like omg, its so disorganized on my side of the fic but its like a disorganization I can navigate quite easily most of the time😅and yes, I write a lot of stories simultaneously, but its on a bigger scale than folks see, lol. I've been working on 8 unpublished stories at once alongside Prey and Butterfly for the last month or so🤔my brain is just always going, and it switches from one thing to other, sometimes within minutes, sometimes days, sometimes hours, and then I get super fixated on whatever has my attention at the moment and the words just come pouring out of my brain😅I do take breaks when my hands and wrist start to ache, though that only makes me think of more stuff to write about.

I usually have a very clear vision for my fics, they're like movies or tv shows that I live through and experience inside my head, but the majority of the decisions on how to get to point A to B are made on the fly and I do not constrain myself if the story takes me somewhere other than the "clear vision" lol. I'm allergic to following guidelines. I just can't write like that, I have to like, feel the story as I write and if I can't experience the feeling of it then I go a different route, planned or not. it's hard to explain it without sounding like a crazy lady😅but yeah, I'm all feels and instinct with my stories, not much deliberate structure, though I have tried that before, and I was bored to tears and started dreading writing. Prey is a prime example of this. I planned on writing it one way, Prey!Naruto told me no🤭

I know how just about every single one of my fics are going to end already. I may not know how I'll get there, or what will happen in between, but I do know for a fact how they will conclude(unless the story demands a different end, but it's not likely to happen I don't think). I've already written the end for Butterfly, Monster, A Cure For Love, Prey, Dirty Little Secret, most of my unpublished fics and partially finished Secrets but I'm iffy on that one since I'm torn in two directions on how to conclude it. Once I get to the sequel I should have a better feel for it. But yeah, the end of these stories are already ready, they're just waiting for me to get there😂probably one of the reasons why I linger so much on fics so much🤔I already know they end and wanna have fun until the party's over🤭

I do forget things sometimes and need to re-read my stories, though for the most part, my fics are like movies I've seen a million times and I remember them just fine. I mostly re-read to pick up the momentum I had before I left, or to "get back in character" with the characters in the fic. Like if I've been writing Prey for an extended period of time, and then want to go to a fic where Naruto is more in line with his canon self, I'll have to re-read the story to put that hat back on, or listen to music that's less idgaf trap rap and more Naruto OST🤭but forgetting what happened in the previous chapters nah, not really. Not unless I'm having an episode or something, lol. Then Idk wtf is going on🤭

Anywho, hope this answered all your questions, but feel free to ask more!

[satancopilotsmytardis]

Hey I need to yell at you about Pack Play

First I wanna mention doppelgänger twice. I like him. He's basically the same as canon but I like him. Anyway, 

Once again your world building shines. Mating houses, what some wolves think of chew toys, the logistics of a rut room—love it love it love it

I know these two are probably a shade less platonic than a different pack would be, but I LOVE that the grooming and shared cycles ARE considered platonic. 

"Maybe, but you're my pack, And I take care of you." Delicious

The chuffing, dabi showing his stomach, shig nipping his throat, dabi WAITING FOR PERMISSION TO KEEP USING THE TOY!!! All the inhuman cues that show Dabi's submission are making me insane

And thinking about it from Shigs perspective??? The pretty, prickly alpha that probably challenged him at their first meeting now wants to be used so badly that he fucking goes limp???? And even better, it's because he trusts him?? 🥴🥴🥴

And don't get me wrong I love bitching, but this flavor of. Fuck idk. Domestic submission? Service kink? Wolves submitting to their leader no matter their dynamic, nearly got me skipping into work this morning

I'm curious about their biology in this too. Shig has a secondary sex, but dabi doesn't? Does that mean alphas are usually male and omegas female? Do pack dynamics change that, like could an omega be the alpha of a pack?

FEELING LIKE SHIG MATED HIM WITH THE CHEW TOY??????!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEE I AM SCREAMING LIKE A TEA KETTLE. IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE THAT THEY'D GET LIKE A HORMONE RUSH FROM THE SCENT OF BLOOD WHILE FUCKING!!!

Thank you to whoever commissioned this, and of course to you tanco!!!

ehehehe thank you for yelling!

I know I talk about fics re-writing my brain chemistry, but god damn did this one fucking do that too! I had such a good time exploring a different interpretation of werewolf lore!

Shig was definitely losing it to his instincts to see Dabi displaying such perfect submission when, up to this point, he'd barely acknowledged him as his pack, let alone his alpha. It definitely made everything a little less platonic on his end right from the jump!

Yeessss, I really like this concept of pack dynamics for a world where secondary sexes aren't really a thing anymore. Like this is a world where ABO dynamics existed a very long time ago, but they were bred out of the population because they weren't as strong as just having synced cycles and pack-mating (especially for turned packs, which usually outnumber born packs). If there were male omegas/female alphas, they wouldn't exist in this day and age. And the holdovers of ABO traits are very mild, like with Shig who can just continue having a knot through his whole cycle, it's not that much of a difference to a normal male wolf like Dabi (even his thought that Shig's cycle would last longer, ended up being an incorrect assumption because they ended at the same time). On the other side, female wolves who have traces of Omega still in them might produce more slick that smells more strongly, but that's about it. It's not a notable difference and in a few more generations, these traits will likely be eradicated completely because they don't have a real biological/evolutionary advantage in modern society. These holdovers are entirely biological, and don't impact pack dynamics! Wolves of any sex or gender can be alphas, but there aren't pack omegas or betas, "alpha" now just refers to the leader of the group, and no one identifies as having a secondary sex in wolf society.

The psychosexual impact of having that smell and the fake flesh in their mouths nearly made the two of them feral, and we love that for them!! You bet your ass that the next time their cycle hits, they're going to be out there taking chomps out of each other's throats until their scents are so tangled that they'll give any other wolf/pret a headache if they are within a five-mile radius of them.

Thank you so much for commenting!

[meiieiri]

Hi! Another person here asking about Water's Edge (sorry). This is kind of an insight into your writing and your life, so if you don't feel comfortable with that or just don't wanna share, feel free to ignore this!

You're thinking of discontinuing the series because of lack in interaction, right? I can't think of a smooth way to transition into my question, so I'll just put it bluntly:

Is writing Water's Edge (specifically) something that you're doing for interactions or something you're doing for fun?

That question alone should determine whether or not you should discontinue the series.

If you're doing this purely for interactions, I'd say that I can't really help you. It's up to you if your writing is purely based on interactions.

If it's for fun, then consider how much fun you're having while doing this. Are you having fun writing it? Does it feel more like a chore than something you'd like to do? If it feels like a burden, then stop. Discontinue the series. If it feels like a burden because of interactions, try and disregard interactions and focus on writing. Never let views, interactions, likes, shares, comments, etc– determine the worth or fun of your writing. Ever. You may already know that, but it's just a reminder. If you really liked where the series was headed, then I'd say finish that chapter and see how things go. If you're happy with it and proud of what you did, then I'd say consider continuing it. If you feel like either a huge burden was lifted after finishing it or just genuinely exhausted, try taking a break or just discontinuing it completely. Personally, I was a really consistent poster once. It got boring and exhausting trying to think of new ideas. I'm now only posting once every 2 months, maybe? I feel much better.

Take my advice if you want, but you don't need to be completely swayed by my opinions or personal thoughts. Just take it into consideration. I personally really like Water's Edge. The storyline is interesting and the formatting is unique. I'd love to see more of it, but it'd be awful if you decided to put your work before yourself. If you do discontinue it, please take care of yourself.

Note: Maybe writing shorter chapters will make it less of a chore? The first two chapters were really long. Idk I'm not a writer. Just an idea.

Sorry this was really long. I hope you have a good day 💕 Sorry if something doesn't make sense or if there's grammar mistakes! I'm writing this on my phone :,)

I actually really liked reading this, damn.

And to answer your question, no, I’m not writing purely out of interactions, in fact, I first started writing this series because I really had a good idea on the top of my head, I just think that, with all my exhaustion writing these longass chapters, it’ll be great to see people actually picking it up and showing appreciation or even hate, lmao. Just something to be recognized would have gone a long way but — that’s something the old me would say. I was re-reading the last few chapters and I feel really bad of having to leave it on the table, completely forgotten, because this fic — writing this fic rather – is the closest thing I have to an actual baby :’3

But you’re right, I did a lot of thinking and I’m guessing we’re back on, this is something I’ll see through to the end. However bitter it may be.

Thanks for this, I needed that.

[good7luck]

Adding more to my post about Noe in VNC manga latest chapter 61.5

(more under the cut)

.

First, thanks to all the people in my previous post! I didn't expect to get more than just a few notes, I feel honored ;w;

.

I considered re-writing the entire post at that time, but I think I'll just leave it as it is and make this additional post instead :P

I must say, this - especially the latter part - would be more subjective and controversial, probably? ^^;; maybe even unnecessary. I know it's just my personal imperfect view from my limited experiences for now, in the end.

.

In VNC so far (~ch 61.5), the Dham (racism) matter was (almost) brought up a few times:

1)

Noe got to hear about Dham for the first time here. But he couldn't get to learn more and deeper, because the kidnapping incidents were so urgent and dangerous. I suppose, Noe could've asked "Why would the kidnappers let go of you just because you're a dham?"...but it'd be very inappropriate and rude, as if Johann should've gotten kidnapped lol?

A LOT of things happened in this arc, especially in regards to Vanitas, so maybe Noe couldn't think of getting to know more about Dham specifically. (Or, more like, MJ-sensei thought it's not time to go further with Dham yet XD)

2)

This is just a moment, but it shows some glimpse of how tough to live as a dham and how Johann (truly) feels. And...Noe was NOT here, and it's unlikely that Vani bothered to tell him about this.

3)

This is probably the closest one where the word Dham was used like a slur (on thin ice) by Vani. And, again, Noe was NOT here, and honestly there's no way Vani has ever talked about this to him.

4) Not animated (which is a big shame, indeed), but in ch 40, Dante remembers when he got bullied for being a dham and when he first met Vani who hates all races equally. Only Johann was around him, and I'm sure Noe couldn't (properly) hear Dante far away: he was with Vani and JJ to find the Book and save Chloe, who started to completely lose herself and destroy things.

(sorry if I missed some ^^;)

My point is - Noe really didn't have a chance to learn about Dham and the discrimination properly. He even never witnessed one himself. Besides,

the Dhams never looked like they're suffering from Orlok or in his office to Noe.

So, I think it's very understandable that Noe in the latest chapter couldn't even guess that such a horrible and systematic oppression has been happening to the Dhams then and now. It's all news to him, literally. Of course he hasn't noticed it yet that his words and actions aren't being (practically) helpful for the Dhams, much less he's making Dante angry for real.

That's why I feel it's quite unfair to (seriously) blame Noe for his (innocent) ignorance and the (gonna-be-unfortunate) outcome. It'd be rather unrealistic and OP, if Noe manages to immediately comprehend everything "right" and take "right" actions on his own lol

.

.

To be more personal and controversial...

I know it might be merely that some people hate / mock Noe and try to make anything he does (not) a problem / joke "just for fun", but...

Some seem to genuinely believe Dante should kick Noe or such, and idk, I must ask - what did they expect from Noe there, exactly? What do they think Noe had to do in that situation "instead", then? Is there a "good" "solution", even?

It's been only a few weeks (or months) since Noe arrived in Paris, and he's still almost a stranger in regards to the Dham matter. It's even not that he came to study Dham. Noe didn't even jokingly agree with Manet / Nox. It's pretty clear that he simply wanted to do something to make the messy situation better (and sincerely cared about Dhams), even if he didn't understand what's going on in front of him.

Noe is one mere individual, not even officially a powerful, high noble like Domi. Count Orlok is not rude to Noe but still casual to him, while he's much more polite to Domi cuz she's "higher". It's praiseworthy that Domi realized she's also participating in the racism, but somehow it's terrible that Noe consequently called out the racism and tried to help the Dhams? Which let Domi notice her own racism?

I wonder if they wanted Noe to "just shut up and stay still", but tbh..I feel...even if Noe actually didn't do anything there, they would've still easily accused him for doing nothing but "heartlessly" watching the racism (and so siding with the oppressors and so being a racist), with "silence / neutrality = consent / approval !!!", perhaps lol?

.

To be very honest - I admit it's still quite hard for me to fully understand why Dante is THAT angry at Noe, even after reading some fandom posts / comments.

Like, I get it, Noe is probably making the situation worse for the Dhams (which is utter tragic), or he sounded too un-serious to him. Dante sure didn't expect to see Vani there, much less suddenly hear some burdensome demand about Machina he hates, the whole Dham "lecture" (why and how they've been discriminated for years), and all the various / explicit insults to him and his family. I sincerely feel so sorry for him and Dhams. I really do.

But like...honestly and strictly speaking...Dante chose to get mad at Noe of all people there, NOT at the obvious oppressors (Manet, Nox, and Count Orlok), even in front of the very oppressors. As if Noe was clearly "worse" than them. This happened basically because Dante thought it's "okay" to throw his anger on Noe, unlike on the real oppressors.

"OMG of course Dante cannot lash out at them, he and Dhams will get only harmed worse by them later!" Yeah, while "nothing bad" will ever happen, even if Dante pours his rage on Noe "instead". Noe is "kind", "not oppressed", and "not socially high enough", so Dante should feel free to use him as a punching bag, "right"? Sorry to be "cruel", but...would Dante have been able to do the same (or unable to hold himself back), if it were not Noe but Luca or Antoine?

I mean, I genuinely cannot fathom why some people try to demonize Noe and "cheer" Dante that much (to "call out" Noe and/or get violent to him, idek), as if Dante is about to perform an act of "justice" towards Noe. Especially when the actual oppressors are right there without feeling any guilty or threatened lol? :/ I'm aware one cannot always rationally think and do perfect, but seriously...it's NOT a good look (for Dante) in any way? Do they "prioritize" seeing Noe get bullied thaaaaat much lmao? ://

It's also "funny" that I've (at least personally) never seen any criticism towards Vani about this. He's the one who forcedly and carelessly brought Machina and Dham stuff in front of the (aggressive) oppressors, even if he understands pretty much everything. He also should've seen what could come, especially when he himself openly gets discriminated by them as well for being a human and the kin of the Blue Moon.

Vani gave Noe all the explanations he needed, sure, but he wasn't polite in general (as always, I know). It also implies Vani never told any of his plans to Noe beforehand again. He blamed Domi for Noe's ignorance, but he didn't provide enough info to him, either lol Vani didn't particularly discriminate Dante or Dhams, but honestly he (and Domi, too) didn't try to stop the racism in the office, either - actively or indirectly, in any form.

I obviously don't mean Vani / Domi is to blame for the racism, much less worse than Count Orlok, Nox, and Manet. I'm glad the fandom rightfully got disappointed in the Orlok trio, calling the bigots out! Still, I don't get why some are overly harsh on Noe and only him lol Did he do THAT wrong and worse? Apparently, maaaaaybe he should've just "quietly" accepted and "wisely" gone with the racism, like Vani / Domi (low-key) did, not "wasting" his energy and kindness only to get hates lmao? ://

.

I think Vani should've been more patient and just made a private future appointment with Dante to ask for the Machina matter later, for example. But I guess this might be OOC lol

I feel it would've been great if Domi calmed down the people in the office, using her social status (ex. clapping and calling their attention to return to the subject - which should've been Orlok's job...).

I believe I would've taken it better if Dante simply tried to quickly silence Noe (to not make things worse) and/or talk to him (even get angry at him! though preferably not XP) in private later.

Of course, none of this would've mattered, if only the Orlok trio wasn't racists / the racism didn't exist in the first place...

.

Thank you for patiently reading my long and incoherent opinions!! Sorry if I was being too dramatic or such OTL

[heckinhacker]

hi so i was wondering if u could do one like “Eric Cartman x Reader - South Park's days are OVER.” but with kyle, like they are the same and everything, idk if u have already done it

Kyle Broflovski x Reader - South Park might be saved, after all??

Which means we get the version where Kyle meets someone similiar to himself! It's like a 'sequel', (but not really, more like an alternative version with same trope) to “Eric Cartman x Reader - South Park's days are OVER.”

Remember that when I write for South Park, they're teenagers at less(16 y/o minimum), adults at most! it's silly i write it every south park post but better safe than sorry~

I gave Kyle green color for easier reading experience in dialogues!

note: color code might be broken because lately tumblr on pc is being silly goofy

Kyle had a great grasp of how fucked up situations in south park are having occurances

Aaand he's pretty aware there will be noone else who understands him.

Or so he thought.

There is a new student announced to be in his class while you all were in 4th grade or so?

And you seemed not too quiet, nor too shy, but surely smart enough not to push yourself into any weird situations.

Teacher sat you both together and Kyle tries to talk you up-

"Hey! I'm Kyle, it's refreshing to have a new face around. Want to play with us on long break?"

It's nice to have a new group to play with, so you agree.

Ah, kids and their not complicated feelings, right? <3

You tag along, and you grew really quickly to dislike Cartman-

It's not hard to hate him he's UNBEARABLE,

Kyle wants to let out his signature "Shut up, fatass!"

but you beat him to it-

"Shut up, fatso, mama did not taught you to behave, or was she absent in your life like yo papa?"

You had NO idea he's fatherless and it made other guys go "OOOHHHH--"

you made yourself an enemy in Cartman,

but an ally in Kyle.

You seemed to have similiar nerdy interests,

From playing Stick of Truth and heroes,

to DnD (that he played online, because not with his group-- but he invited you into his new online session!!)

Beside Terrance and Philip, Kyle also liked that vampire/werewolf series called "Under Devil's grasp" that seemed mostly for girls or boring, yet he liked it in secret and once he caught you watching first episodes, just...because,

and then joined you, for his own re-watch and your first watch, he liked seeing how you reacted

"HOW COULD YOU?" you asked out of sudden once, in a call,

"How could I what?" Kyle asks, having you on speaker while he does his homework.

" YOU KNEW ALL THE TIME THAT BARRY WILL BE KILLED AND YOU DID NOTHING TO WARN ME, I GREW TO LOVE HIM AND NOW HE'S GONE."

"Well, you said no spoilers?"

"KYLE."

He giggles, "Plus he had death flags since always so-"

He's playing, it turns out Barry barely lived and hid for like season and a half to return in dramatical moment that he watched with you and you SCREAMED.

And he has a blast with your reactions <3

And so on, you bond over similiarities,

Over years you put many blood, sweat and tears into your friendship, and you're glued by hip. Kyle won't ever pick between you and Stan who is his closer friend, it would be even cruel to ask.

You two got along decently, good, not badly, but it always seemed you're more closer with Kyle than Stan.

You grew beside each other and your families became one, big family because of how close you've gotten between each other and made them grow closer. (Or not if your relation with them is bad)

No matter your family (or your own) relligion, you spend Hanukkah with Kyle and it's almost a norm of you being around.

Listen, Ike? Absolutely adores you. Kyle sometimes has a laugh your'e more of an older sibling than he is.

(Absolute bull, we all know Ike loves Kyle the most <3)

Kyle's family wanted to make little ride to nearest amusement park

Of course they suggested you go too! You're a part of the family already <3

You have the fun of your lives, all of you. Kyle's parents mostly chill around but you, Kyle and Ike are using all the activities possible while you can, stuffing yourselves with snacks and sweets.

Bad idea, if you'd ask me

You went to roller coaster and none of you paid no mind in that choice,

but Kyle's stomach DID pay a mind

Especially in a middle where he felt like throwing out

And hell, he did! But he took out his hat and puked int oit so noone got blessed with mix of dinner and snacks.

He was almost carried out of the roller coaster by you--

You decided to go to ferris wheel and call it after a day.

They were two-people cabin on the wheel, so Ike let you two have one while he went with some other random kid.

Ike is your biggest wingman, he did that on purpose of course. Little guy <3

When you're up high, alone, with Kyle, having option to look at all the view, you can't help but to look at little buildings under you, and then to take a peak at Kyle.

Oh boy, were you surprised when you met his gaze-

He blushed furiously and muttered "Sorry- Uh- did not mean to stare."

Of course - you did not mind, but that was SURPRISING.

You did not bother him about it though. Whatever he had in mind - nothing, or something, he will come around.

But you might've realised that you DO have feelings towards your childhood best friend. For sure.

You remember how I mentioned your shared liked series with Kyle, "Under Devil's grasp" ? Soo...

Imagine it was near end, and studio decided to make finale into movie, two and half hour long one.

It's a series you two follow since you were kids, OF COURSE you have to be there in the cinema.

You ride with Kyle to big city, with his freshly acquired driver license and shitty car of his.

You enjoy your WHOLE drive there, time spent in bigger city, it all was just amazing.

Series, even though it was mostly about vampires and werewolves, was called "Under Devil's grasp" and it's very questionable, for years there were just theories, yet the movie after all those years of content literally ended with said title as last words.

Y'all were crying already enough but it was such a HIT in the face

When you walked out of cinema you whipped your tears out of your eyes, so did Kyle, as you giggled and gushed about the ending of your beloved series.

Ride home was mixed, going from peaceful to chaotic, just atosphere was...magical. Lights of highway, music blasting loudly and Kyle jamming to it, while you take a glance with full adoration at him.

You sing a little, then you rest and sooner than later end up in South Park.

Kyle drives to your house first to drop you off, walks out of car to walk you to your door, and gazes at you.

"Thank you...for today. I had fun! I hope you did too."

"I did, you kidding me? Thanks for even offering. I...really appreciate it."

Kyle seems to hesitate, and then sighs deeply.

"...I love you."

" Yeah, good night to you too man- oh wait what the fuck-??"

"I...wanted to say so, and today's spent time with you made me realise I'd hate you to spend the day out of South Park with someone else. I'd hate for you to have late-night drives with somebody else, I'd hate to see you happy with somebody else because...well, I wish you stayed with me. Of course I mean- have fun with others, I just...I wish you'd keep your heart on my hands. It's fine if you'd prefer to stay friends, I hope it doesn't break our friendship. But I uh...I wanted to let you know."

...that was...a lot. Wow."

He thinks it's a rejection, but...

It's not, really

You grab his cheeks and kiss him before he can get into tangent of self-doubt.

Then smile at him,

and say:

"Information saved. Let's grab something to eat tommorow together too, alright, boyfriend?"

You smile and wave him away goodnight and closed your door.

...

"...boyfriend?"

He's so giddy pls <3

Other's reactions:

Ike:

FUCKING FINALLY 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALO.

My little dude was waiting for the moment you hold hands and kiss each other already for TOO LONG

I mean, don't kiss too much in front of him he'd gag, it's still his older brother we're talking about

but at least Kyle pinning over you days are OVER.

He congratulates you and gives you gift cards of "congratulations on marriage!" drew with crayons and pencils

My man Ike is an anime fan, he made you badass gift card <3

Stan:

Not surprised but surprised at the same time.

He's second biggest fan, first being Ike

He learned the news from Kyle himself the same night you became a thing, later Ike hit him up because he was excited BSHSH

He hears Kyle out and congratulates him A LOT

Kenny:

He kind off knew? everyone kind off knew but he was sure you were already dating so...

news were shocking because

"Weren't you dating already? damn-"

he was sure you're married and expecting a kid/j

he doesn't have strong reaction because, as I said, it's not much of a news for him not going to lie

Cartman:

He always tried taking away whatever Kyle loved the most

So he's salty he failed this time

He always makes you both miserable, with slightest show of affection he is making big clown show out of it

Enough that just guys ask you to STOP with PDA because Cartman is being fucking annoying

He's just that salty single friend man for sure <3

Lemme be honest, it's not one of my best works, but I have (I am in a middle of...) 9 days streak of work straight, I am exhausted beyond human belief, but maybe because my ability to hold my ground is shitty, thanks depreshon--

So yes, It's not my best piece, but it was pretty much expected, so :>

I wanted to tag @bath1lda because of "kyle kyle" spam ask hehe- I hope you, and everyone else who read it, a nice "have a good read" :>

[ellecdc]

hello my sweet girl!!! how i've missed you! it seems we've both been frequent passengers on the struggle bus for the past couple weeks (hence my absence, this bus has shit wifi) :( i'm sorry that shit's been tough lately, and i hope you are being extra kind and loving to yourself, taking special care to listen to what you need <3. (this goes for everyone, all of you sexy beautiful people in this wonderful community).

anyways time for some random thoughts about our lovely wizards!! that's a need for sure lol.

it's so weird to me that prongsfoot/starbucks/whatever you wanna call james x sirius is such a rare ship? like i love strong male friendships (and also wolfstar b/c duh) but prongsfoot is right there in canon. like the inherent need to always be together. the i will literally die and kill for you mindset. yeah come live at my house please please please. james hates this dude? i do too. i get that they are both a lil hyper but as someone who is also pretty adhd (and also a little shit like they are) i feel like that kind of relationship works really well together, the other person is always able to keep up with your nonlinear train of thought. and sirius x james x lily would be an unstoppable throuple so... heehee (plus reader? ugh).

i also love this recent discussion at how smart all these freaks are. they are all lil geniuses and i would love to be in a room with all these insane brains and talk about nerd shit like physics and the universe and how the mauraders map works etc. dream friendgroup/polycule for real. you think there's a universe where the slytherins and gryffindoors have lil smoke seshes and socratic seminars because i can totally see that shit lol.

lastly, evan supremecy!! i love the slow but steady entrance he has been making (as opposed to the absolute bang of an entrance barty made, kinda fitting for their personalities lol).

anyways i loveee you baby girl! have a lovely rest of your day <33

-ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

Hahaha hi baby!! Sorry to hear you’re not doing so hot rn.

Also re: prongsfoot, this is an interesting perspective I hadn’t thought of before! I have to admit I’m not sure why I struggle with them as a pair when I sit here and write poly!marauders fics lol! But I hadn’t considered this before that 1) Sirius is probably the only person who can keep up with James and 2) James is the only one Sirius was willing to accept love and help from! Maybe I need to do more playing around with prongsfoot……

Also, sunlilypad???? Love it; I’ve seen thoughts of them raising Harry together and it just melts me every time

The nerdiest bastards around, James is so intuitive and a strategist, Sirius is stupid smart for no good reason other than his brain just holds onto the most random information, Remus searches for knowledge like it’s a lost art like, Barty and his 12 fucking O.W.L’s, Evan looking at everything like it’s a puzzle and his analytic mind, Lily just being the smart beautiful goddess she is, ubdbajdnwisfbwks

Also you’re so right: barty just body slamming into my works and making himself present vs my careful constructive analysis of Evan as a person 😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣 idk why I’m so afraid of him! I think cuz there’s even less out there about him than there is Barty so I have less to go off, but I’m afraid to write for him cuz I don’t want to get him wrong!

Glad to have you back babes, hope things settle down for you 🫶

[olderthannetfic]

This got very long and i understand if you delete without reading.

Earlier this year, I decided that I wanted to spend less time on social media and more time writing and catching up on my book/show backlog. But for some reason any time I say something about wanting to focus on my hobbies I get push back from a friend as if that translates to me avoiding them (it's not. I talk to them on a daily basis but a lot of that is them sending me videos/tweets they want me to look at) I don't know how to explain that I don't want to waste my minute free time when I have hobbies I want to work on/indulge in.

They're in Fandom too so it's not as if they're confused at the concept. IDK how to put it, but it makes me feel discouraged that I feel like I'm expected to sit around waiting in case they want to chat and that if I say I'm working on something it's not important and I need to pay attention to them now but if I message them then I'm interrupting because they don't want to have to stop what they're doing to answer me. This leads to me doomscrolling Twitter because at any second they might want to talk so I feel like I can't do anything else because I struggle at multitasking. I can't text someone and watch something at the same time or whatever.

I don't know what to do about this because when I try to mention that I'm busy or working on something it gets ignored or turns into an argument. I am at the point where I dread my messenger going off.

I'm asking you and your followers for any tips because I am at my wit's end and you all have always been an understanding bunch.

I don't want to be a hermit but sometimes I need a couple of hours to write or read on my own. This is someone I have known for years who i know very well so it's not as simple as "take a break from Fandom and do your own thing" though I suppose that is what my goal was this year. Which makes it feel worse because for years we were really supportive of each other's interests/creative works and now it feels more like I'm meant to be supportive of them and not the other way around.

I know this was long, so thank you for even reading it. I appreciate even being able to vent safely.

As I read over this to make it as vague as possible it occurs to me there are multiple issues that just came pouring out. 😑 but. . .how do I get someone to understand I should have SOME time to do my own thing? I am starting to feel like they forgot I'm a separate person from them. They even get upset that I write fic for fandoms they aren't in and I am so very tired of feeling like I need to walk on eggshells.

--

"This got very long and i understand if you delete without reading."

This sounds very unlike me.

Re the situation, it sounds to me like these friends are either not very good friends in the first place or have backslid into "everyone exists to comfort me" due to pandemic stress or the like.

My dad calls things like writing "chunk work" where you need to work up to getting in the flow and you need uninterrupted focus. The opposite are all those petty little tasks that eat your whole day, like answering trivial business e-mails or doing the dishes.

Whether you have an attention disorder or executive function problems or no, most brains fundamentally have different modes and aren't good at doing things like creative writing without some uninterrupted time. This has very little to do with how much time you do or don't spend with friends and a lot to do with more consciously managing your day and your brain.

If these friends refuse to understand this or conflate it with taking a month off from friendship, that's a them problem, and you need new friends.

It's perfectly normal and fine to send a meme or a random discord PM to a friend and for them to respond hours later because they were busy.

It seems like there are actually 3 things going on here:

Your "friends" are pretending they don't understand how high-focus tasks work.

Your "friends" demand you be available at the drop of a hat in a way that is unrealistic and that ruins most people's schedules.

Your "friends" would consider it a massive imposition to be on-call for you in the same way but learn zero lessons about it being unreasonable in the other direction.

Possibly a fourth is that they have no intention of changing how they interact with social media, and they know that if you do, it signals the end of your routine interactions. And this might be true. I've lost friends, at least for a few years, when our internet use diverged.

But there's no way around it: if you don't want doomscrolling eating your time, you need to extract yourself from friend circles that interact heavily in real time on twitter. You need friends who write e-mails and wait for the response or who send a PM and are happy to come back to the conversation once you've answered.

[andypantsx3]

was it hard to re-establish your self-identity & friendships after your breakup? sorry for the personal q but I think I need to be single for awhile but I'm scared lol

Omg this is a deep cut, I'm surprised you remember me talking about this!!

Yes and no! For the first little bit I felt really aimless. I was shocked by the amount of time I suddenly had on my hands, the very present lack of a person to talk to about all my little daily things and to cuddle with at night. I felt like I had absolutely no hobbies and couldn't remember what my personal interests were, because my boyfriend and I had done every little thing together for close to six years!!

But after a little while I found it so strangely freeing. I'm sure it must be different for different personality types. But I took special pleasure in cooking the kind of food I wanted to eat without having to cater to his tastes, going places on a whim without checking in, having time and space to pick hobbies back up. I liked not having to pick between social engagements, where we'd have to do something with his family the weekend another friend wanted to hang. I liked not having to remember all his family birthdays and make sure he'd gotten them something when it was his damn family and he should have been responsible!!

Idk! I genuinely feel like the summer after my breakup was the best summer of my life. I spent so much time reconnecting with friends—cooking with them, going to wine bars, getting messy at karaoke— going on trips, netting myself a promotion, etc etc. My roommates became the people I could go grocery shopping with and gab with after work and stick my feet under during a movie lol. I started writing for the first time ever, went to the gym regularly again, discovered what my routine looked like if it was meant to suit me and only me.

And I really liked it. I still really like it. I'm actually worried about what happens when I meet my next boyfriend because I love the time and space that I've found for myself and I guard it selfishly now lol.

I think you have to sit with it for a while, but life rushes back to you very quickly and you will find all those holes in your heart plugged in again so very easily. Maybe it could be different for you, if you're a little less of a lone wolf type personality, and maybe it will take longer!! But I hope you enjoy the time and space you will have to get to know yourself again. Some people don't ever get that.

[branmer]

💛💚💜🤍🖤💕🏳️‍🌈 for b5 >:DDD

I want all of them but I am being So Good and not asking for all of them ;_;

for this meme

ooooh excellent choices, and yes you are being so good <333 i am very proud of your restraint

💛<__< >__> i don't know if it's accurate to say i can't get behind them but i'm not really into londo/g'kar. years ago i probably would have been 'fuck yeah londo/g'kar!' but over time ive just come to prefer their relationship as a complicated frenemy situation, i'm not even sure i see g'kar liking londo so much as he understands and pities him and feels a loyalty to him because of their shared history. i'm also increasingly a bit hmmm re sheridelenn but mostly because jms really sucks at writing relationships and the further it went on the more delenn just got slotted into the wife role rip s1 delenn

💚treating neroon's deathbed conversion as legit and not just a political manouvre. that man doesn't have a priestly bone in his body >:( also special mention for chad neroon, a characterisation that has marred many a marcus/neroon fic. and generally any characterisation where neroon gets over his xenophobia too quickly!

💜i will die on the hill that branmer is sexy and evil idk if it's really unpopular in fandom to say neroon is hot but we do periodically get people going 'ew neroon????' so i'm just gonna throw down for my guy 😤😤😤

🤍shakiri i joke, i joke, but more seriously my answer for this is less one specific character and more broadly that i think the entire situation with the castes was probably more complicated than what we see on the show (or the books) and it's interesting that people tend to take unapolagetic villain shakiri as being representative of the caste generally, rather than neroon, who is more ambivalent (while still being a dick haha). i find the whole religious caste = good, warrior caste = bad stuff very reductive especially since we see many in show examples of the religious caste absolutely fucking unhinged. i also think it's v interesting that no one in the warrior caste really put up a fight when shakiri got backstabbed by neroon and defeated by delenn in the starfire wheel. i guess you could put that down to minbari having an intense respect for tradition and ritual but... this is also a caste that just broke a thousand year minbari do not kill minbari rule and idk... it just speaks to something interesting going on behind the scenes with this guys!

🖤delenn, haha. this is probably my most controversial opinion and it's one i've touched on before. i don't think delenn is evil (and disclaimer: she is one of my fave characters), but she is cunning and manipulative and she's prone to letting her own personal biases rule her understanding of a situation which leads to some, uh, interesting choices on her part. basically i don't think delenn is the trustworthy source on the minbari, on her own choices, or on broader issues in the b5 galaxy that she gets treated as by fandom lol. like, for example i don't entirely believe what delenn says about why they had to leave the narn to face the centauri/shadows alone, i think that's just what she told herself to justify the decision. im also, idk, iffy about the whole not ever telling sheridan about her role in the war. i saw a post on here where someone was saying this was her great 'gift' to him and it just... ew. ick. no. fuck no. i understand why she doesn't tell him, but it's not a gift

💕i feel like marcus/neroon gets a bad rap and a lot of people being sniffy about it, but also enough people appreciate it that i can't really call it unpopular exactly so um. hmm. i do, sigh, i do have a growing fondness for neroon/sheridan actually >__> which probably isn't so much unpopular as non-existant apart from your amazing neroon/delenn/sheridan fic. i have a feeling that neroon-as-the-bridge is gonna end up going down the sheridan/neroon route if i write more of it haha

🏳️‍🌈 oh this, this is a tough one haha... tbh... londo i guess? he just comes across very... straight male to me >__> like at most i can see him having a drunken fumble with a friend and thinking nothing of it, but that's it.

thank you for the ask! <33333

[dutifullyshamelessearthquake]

holy shit IM LOSING MY MIND??? I’m done it’s over and

I- I’m running out of ways to express my obsession with your Sickfics… I need to invent new words? Or new ways to scream in text form because I need you to understand how fucking AMAZING this new fic is 😭😭😭😭

It’s so damn good???? It’s SO SATISFYING????? HELLO?? oh my word cyno cyno cyno what an absolute mess you are.🥺 poor poor thing!! I love everything in this fic. I love their relationship and how comfy they are together - how much Cyno loved spoiling nari (and tighnari deserves it let’s be real) I love the use of implied both ends!! I feel like it works really well in this case and it’s subtle but I love the implication that maybe Cyno was coming down with a bug before hand since he wasn’t feeling hungry? But then it’s like the heavy food expedited that process. I love the descriptions of fullness and how he just- very quickly - is NOT okay anymore. UHG HIS ANXIETY??? you captured the thought process perfectly of just being seen and being seen too much and the constant what ifs. Idk if Tighnari knew cyno hated being sick in public but he ABSOLUTELY gets the picture now.

OMG and Cyno just refusing to be sick in the public restroom sent me. I was genuinely shocked he managed to not lol 😂😅 like you know you just KNOW that’s so much worse feeling in that situation. Tighnari must have been so concerned and absolutely not buying it at all. Cynos little “I’m fines” when he sounds like he’s close to tears STOP. AH!! And the weakness??? OML his faintness was just so good and I’m feral over all the little details with nari being like “ok if he doesn’t sit he’s going to collapse it’s time for mom mode” and how he takes command in those moments. So damn GOOD. don’t even get me started when Cynos finally sick I can’t. My heart. Just all the worst things he wants to lay down his stomach feels so sick and now there is puke everywhere and- It was such a perfectly written scene 🥺🥺🥺 and the little FOX TOY THAT HE CUDDLES??? I’m gonna DIE?? IM TRULY DEAD?? I LOVE how attentive Tighnari is with his fussing and then very tactful more subtle support, just giving him the toy so Cyno can hug something on the way home cuz even if Tighnari knows cyno would never in public he knows him and knows he wants to be held rn and i -

I believe it’s 100% a tummy bug and not the food and that the ‘heat’ he was feeling was for sure fever and nausea and that maybe it wouldn’t have been this bad but anything he ate that day was going to more or less rot inside him. I have no doubts he was not done with the restroom for a number of reasons after getting home but I absolutely know he was 1000% times more at peace. Except for him replaying the events in his head for all eternity.

I’m truly never going to recover.

amazing fucking work. I’ve already re read this and I will re read again and again and yeah. That’s it. I’m just. Simply. Deceased. 😭😭😭

Thank you for this gift 😭🩷

I AM SCREAMING, I WOKE UP TO THIS IN MY INBOX THIS MORNING AND I WASN'T ABLE TO STOP SMILING AS I READ THROUGH IT 😭 You have no idea how much these comments mean to me, you made my whole day with this!

I am SO HAPPY you enjoyed it this much!! Allow me to get sappy for a moment, it already makes me so happy that people are actually reading what I'm creating, but knowing people enjoy it so much?? It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and it makes me so happy. I enjoy writing sickfics so much, it's just a fun, self-indulgent hobby that I also happen to post online. And just knowing something I created, purely by having fun, is being enjoyed this much?? All the happy emotions!!

Alright, happy sappy earthquake out, let's scream about Cyno!

HE IS, he is such a mess, this poor boy 🥺 I definitely had it in my head that he was beginning to come down with something before the date even started, but having a heavy restaurant meal just made things go south so much faster. I'm really glad to hear I was able to pull off the implied both ends without it seeming too out of place!! It definitely felt like if I was going to have it anywhere, this was the fic for it, Cyno had a very unhappy stomach. He went from "i can handle this" to "i am NOT okay" in the blink of an eye and I feel so bad for doing that to him. THE ANXIETY! THE VULNERABILITY!! He can't stand that other people might just THINK of him as vulnerable, the smallest sign of weakness and he wants no eyes on him immediately. I definitely think Tighnari knew he didn't like being sick in public, but he didn't know it was this bad. He definitely hadn't expected Cyno's anxiety to go through the roof like that.

He BARELY held it together in the bathroom, I think Tighnari was just as surprised that he didn't throw up. Oh Cyno baby, I know you didn't want to get sick in a public bathroom, but you could've spared yourself getting sick in the parking lot. You just know he's going to replay this event in his head a million times thinking where he should've done something differently to make the day somewhat less mortifying.

THE LITTLE FOX!! PLEASE THAT WAS SUCH A FUN LITTLE DETAIL TO ADD. I have a feeling that little thing is going to become a big comfort item for Cyno. Only private because you know he would NEVER let anybody outside of Tighnari know that he even has a stuffed animal, but it'll become a massive comfort for him. We love Tighnari just knowing. He's so good at handling these situations and we adore him for it. He's giving Cyno so many hugs when they're home.

I definitely agree with you there, boy was feverish. His body temperature was all over the place, first the hot flashes and sweating, and then he was feeling shivery?? He's definitely sick sick 🥺 He's definitely not going to be done with the bathroom for a while. In my head I imagine even the drive home is going to be hell, I mean can you imagine being in a moving car on the road when your stomach is feeling as bad as his was? Yeah they definitely pulled over more than once.

ARGH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH! I'm genuinely happy you enjoyed it as much as you did!! Again, thank you so much!!

[night-market-if]

Hi! idk if you remember me but i’m the anon that talked about the consent speech in Milo’s route in chapter 5

anyways, i’m re-reading book 1 and i came to the part in chapter 4 where we go to console Hazel after she explained who Malcom is and how he died and i just fucking cried because it reminded me of me and my friend. She had a similar experience as me with a boy, luckily less grave, but still… and i remember talking with her and when she started crying i offered a hug and we hugged and then we talked a little bit more until she felt better

this happened this august and re-reading this scene now made me remember all the emotions

first time i read it was like ‘nice scene, top notch writing’

and now i’m just bawling my eyes out

so yeah, all this just to say terrific writing, you managed to make me cry in various occasions when no other book managed as much lol

ps. sorry for the personal stuff dumping, you can also not answer at all, but i appreciate you so much for the emotions you stir up in me, you’re a great author

That has always been one of my favorite scenes that I've written. Even with the age difference between the two, I've always kind of viewed those two as more twin like. They had to rely on each other so much growing up and continued to through their early adult life. They went through very similar trauma. Created a found family. So when Hazel starts talking about how it is for Malcolm to not be here anymore, it's just heartbreaking.

I'm happy that my work resonated with you so much. I've been in a bit of a slump with this story. Feeling as if I haven't really hit something that I'm proud of. And hearing this is the reality check that I sometimes need. Remembering that even though this isn't professionally published. That my community is small. I can still offer an escape. And in the world today, that's important as well.