#idk im just kind of a mess atm...

[strwbrymlkshake]

literalyl insane if my dumb feelings don't go away I'll have to start a normal normal rant tag for him I think –_–

[discotenny]

IDEK WHERE THE IMAGES R FROM IM SEEING EVERYWHERE BUT CANT FIND VIDEO BUT HEY LOOK DID U SEE THIS (from someone random blog post bc idek where to find the original)

https://www.tumblr.com/lochness-art/733533305005293568/no-one-asked-but-here-r-my-opinions-on-the-new

NEW SPRITFESSS TIME SKIP REAL TIME SMIP REALFL

NEW SPRITES NEW SPRITES AWAHHWAHFHEAJIORERER

I posted my thoughts on the outfits when that big compilation image came out but now that we have visible LEGS for the all the charas now I feel obligated to update my thoughts fdsafadsfs. Put under a cut cause I have a feeling its gonna be long fdsfdsafs

Original thought post

Original post listed in the ask

ALSo, the images are from the new hypmic flava trailer posted on their yt channel here :3

Ichiro: We saw him in full before, but I just want to reiterate how they intentionally got rid of all the connections Ichi had to the bros within his clothing. From Jiro's blue on his sleeves, the zip up shirt they all shared, and having the iconic BB lettering not there anymore- it seems like they're trying to distance Ichi's character from being so bro centric. Maybe to show growth how he's going to be more independent? It's a bit odd because being dependent isn't Ichi's flaw, that's Jiro and Saburo's... Maybe it's to show how THEYRE distancing from HIM 🤔

Jiro: This hair change is such a W for Jiro fans!! It was unclear if he actually changed it in art prior but this is a W SUCH A W!!! I miss the white stripes on his shoulders for contrast reasons but he looks just like a more mature version of his old design. It looks like he's wearing the checkered shirt instead of wrapping it around his waist which is cuter and makes much more sense fdsafdsfds.

Saburo: He looks all grown up LOL The time skip is only supposed to be a few months from what I recall, so at most he's now 15 but imo I think they're keeping them to og ages tbh. The mustard is such a good look for him! The more pastel yellow and school uniform esc coat of his old design did a lot to keep him looking / feeling young so this new design feels like he's growing up to be more comfortable to be who he is ;_;

Samatoki: He looks just as hot and he's somehow showing even MORE skin despite having a jacket lmao. Those popping buttons I see you Toki fdsafdsaf. Again he looks less like a gangster / yakuza but I wonder if they're trying to lean into that look. He pretty. Real pretty...

Jyuto: Thoughts have pretty much stayed the same, it reads like an Extra Wardrobe outfit rather than something he'd wear on the daily. In the new arc did he stop wearing his uniform since the government shut down? Did he just say fuck the dress code? I do like the outfit, it makes him look a lil more sleazy LOL

Rio: Rio looks good he looks good!! I don't have much thoughts on him since I never really do but I still find it hilarious he has the same pants as his old outfit.

Ramuda: He looks excellent as always but I do agree with the original poster that I miss his blue :C I think the yellow makes him look really young and it kinda doesn't jive with me ??? I love the hat though he looks very very cute. Ramuda also has the best shoes in the cast and I appreciate they didn't change it.

Gentaro: Gentaro is so funny I think they legitimately just made his back cape longer?? He also got rid of the high collar undershirt, which probably symbolizes that he's hiding less of himself to his friends. I love Gen but I need to see him not in motion to see how well this outfit fits him. ATM I think the longer cape messes up his silhouette by making him seem like a rectangle.

Dice: I miss the trench coat!! I miss the trench coat!!! I don't care if it would be smelly I miss the trench coat !!! I think getting rid of the black parts on his collar and outside his sleeves kind of make him look too... normal??? Like idk, where's the spice!! Give him fingerless gloves or sm shit he needs SOMETHING to make him look less like just a guy :C He's cute but I think his old fit is >>>

Jakurai: He looks SOOOOO GOOOD. We've seen this in full before but he looks CUUUTEEE. Like I'm no Jakurai stan but hooo boy that coat does smthn to me. He looks looser, like he's gonna have some fun, maybe go to the mall or smthn he looks good !!!!! Anons brought up Jakurai removing his doctor coat as a symbolism for his savior complex going away and I think it's really cool !!! One of the best new fits imo.

Hifumi: I like his og outfit much better I'm sorry 😭😭😭 I think with Materno's main color being light grey, Jakurai being in white, Doppo being a light grey now, Hifu being that off white just makes him blend together with the other members. Maybe it's the fact that he's set against a white background but he just gets lost among the other two. Having the darker colors concentrated around his head / upper body helps though.

Doppo: I love him my baby I love him I lve nye my baby my vobeoteoy frmajwfmweoijfghuefuwafjewanjmisafkowafewoawfeaiow. I say from my last post: "He’s getting loose he’s getting silly he’s CRAZY DOPPO IN THE HOUSE !!!"

Sasara: I like the outfit on it's own but I kind of... hate how it's matching with Rosho. SasaRo enjoyers rejoice but I don't like how it doesn't allow Sasara (and Rosho in turn) be his own character. It was mainly an issue I had with Rosho but this new fit puts in on Sasara too, that it kind of forces you to look at him in the lense of his relationship with Rosho rather than who he is as a chara on it's own. Also they made him less colorful :CC The bowtie is super cute though I like it.

Rosho: Rosho does look cute but again I wish it wasn't so obviously a callback to his relationship with Sasara!! I do like the hair, it's very cute fdsafdsa. He looks a lot more comfortable and a lot more confident but I'm unsure if its due to character development or just for cool points. Rosho looks like he smells good

Rei: He's too grey 💀 TOO GREY !!! I think getting rid of the hat and glasses was such a downgrade it does not look very good. It's a lot of my issues with Hifu's outfit without actually having a good clothing design to make up for it. I think it's nice how it could possibly be a call back to Kazuma Kiryu but that doesn't really make up for it :/

Kuko: I was wrong his hair did not get shorter 💀💀💀 But he is INCREDIBLE !! IT'S VERY GOOD!!! I have nothing to complain / nitpick about I think it's very good. (one nitpick I guess FDSAFDS. His bright hair now seems a bit out of place against the darkness of his clothing. Maybe making the purple accent stripes blue or red would have made it better? Unsure though.

Jyushi: He looks very good but I wish they gave him more interesting pants they're very underwhelming compared to his incredible top!! Like imagine sm crazy shit like lace racing stripes, some peekaboo patterns in triangles at the bottom of his flares, it would be very cute !!!

Hitoya: Very cute, very good, a stark improvement from his original look I have nothing else to say fdskafdasfdsa. Again, a 35 year old baby.

I think for some of the characters the outfits really really really really work (Doppo, Hitoya, Jakurai) but for a lot of them I think their original looks were much more iconic and much more fitting to themselves (Dice, Sasara, Rei). I hope we still get content put out with their original outfits because I'd legitimately be sad to never see Dice in his trench coat again :C

[cloudywilmon]

7 & 8!!! for the fic thing!!!! ❣️✨💙

i truly had to put on my thinking cap for this one

ty beloved ❣️❣️❣️

7: Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

"He felt the courage Simon had nurtured, continuing to grow inside of him. He was sure his love must be evident to anyone who looked. It blossomed in him like a rose, petals slowly unfurling as their lips connected. Not without its thorns, the prickles of stares and murmurs, but beautiful and so so worth it ."

idk if its my favourite but this one is from ystb and I was really happy with how it turned out, im sure there are others i like more but i cant think of them atm

8: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

i think one of my favourite dialogue scenes is from nhr where wille is trying to justify him and simon to erik- it was just so fun to write because of how ridiculous it all is

“None,” Wille protested. “I’m not- I like girls. I’m straight.”

Erik stopped walking at that and turned to look at Wille.

“Wille,” Erik looked at him, and Wille refused to meet his eyes. “You don’t have to pretend with me. I would never judge you for who you love.”

“I’m not-” Wille groaned. “I’m not pretending. I’m not into boys like that.”

Erik blinked at him, seemingly unsure how to process what he’d just said.

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t misinterpret what was going on with Simon,” he said finally. “You two were clearly in the middle of something.”

“It’s not- it’s not like that though,” Wille fumbled to explain.

“Okay, then what is it like?” Erik asked.

Wille sighed, “It’s just like… convenient.”

“Convenient?” Erik repeated, prompting him to continue.

“I mean, we room together and we’re comfortable with each other,” Wille explained. “It doesn’t mean anything. There just aren’t really any girls here that I like.”

“Wille,” Erik said slowly. “Most straight guys don’t have casual hookups with their male friends.”

Wille squirmed, uncomfortable with the look Erik was giving him.

“Well, Simon is gay,” Wille tried to defend himself. “At first I was just kind of… helping him out.”

“Right,” Erik looked like he was trying not to roll his eyes. “You were just helping him out .”

-

“Fine then,” Erik sighed. “ Messing around with Simon is not a very good indicator of heterosexuality.”

“I’m sure lots of straight guys do it,” Wille defended. “Especially at all-male boarding schools where there aren’t any girls.”

“Wille,” Erik stared at him for a second before answering slowly. “You don’t go to an all-male boarding school. There are girls at Hillerska.”

[south-park-dimensions]

Not really a question I just wanna say Im literally FROTHING AT THE MOUTH over the stuff on the Discord it's all so fascinating I nEED TO KNOW MOREEEEE /pos /nm

Also I really like the detail of electronic related chars havinf square pupils. Not for any specific reason it just scratches my brain :3

Also also I think making mystic/monster Cartman the Invisible Man is brilliant. The Invisible Man in the original book is the same kind of menace as Cartman, like all the shit IM pulls in that book wouldn't be out of place as a Cartman subplot lmao. Idk if the reference was intended but it's still appreciated either way :)

Sorry if this is rambly Im lowkey loosing my mind rn-

(THANK IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT SO FAR HEHE SJBDDJ)

(Aaand yeah! The square pupils really started with regular Cartman actually. At start of the comic his pupils were rounder, but decided to make his pupils rectangular and have a blue hue when V-chip flipped back on)

(Really the pupils are a detail we focus on too much akdbd- Like the demons have their own unique ones, people with a deal from Damien in adventure have none (Outlaws Tweek and Craig), aaaand- There’s one specific detail with the aliens from Sci-Fi, but that’s a sorta spoiler heh)

(As for Cartman as the invisible man! It’s a reference kinda heh. Never read the original story, but became a little familiar with the character thro the movie “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen”, the movie is honestly like. Mid at best, but it’s comfort content for us kadndjdb)

(And yes that Cartman did pull a lotta bullshit pranks when he was younger pff- Literally came to a point his friends put a Bell on him bc otherwise if Stan wasn’t there he’d cause problems-)

(Reason I say Stan is bc Grim reaper/demons/angels can see Cartman fine. Seeing souls and all, but that didn’t stop him from say messing with Kyle or Kenny rip)

(One last thing for anyone here; the discord link. It’s not the most active atm, but it does have all of the character’s refs organized with little notes in some)

[castlesdump]

im worried i messed up. we had an appointment with our therapist and parents, it was supposed to just be mum but dad ended up staying for the whole time. i told her (t) that she could say whatever because i assumed it was just going to be mum there, but it wasnt and she said the words ritual, culty, child sex trafficking, etc. mum knew enough to know that's what it was, but dad didn't. they both cried.

i generally have to be very careful around dad, he's emotionally fragile but also represses a fair bit and refuses help. very avoidant etc. so him finding out about this was a lot, and i dont think he knew thats what it all was. he spent the rest of the day kind of sad, talking about how a lot of things have been stolen from me/him, but the only thing i could do was distract him.

usually when i do that, i talk about things that make him happy. i can't handle politics atm, so not that. so i went with something else she (t) said, which was that as i process this my physical health will probably get better. he likes hearing about me getting better. but this time it just made him sadder.

idk what to do. i know it's not my responsibility but i just dont like being around sad people when it's me theyre sad about. it feels like me being there makes them worse.

but im glad it's all out there. if dad can process this and integrate it with his worldview it'll make things a lot easier. mum is also going to ask papa about the neighbours' kids to see if any of them were about the age range of the other kids in the group. overall a good session, though it would've been better if my dad wasnt like that*. later we made hummus and falafels!

*system egg

[atvbs]

okay. im going to be maybe a little bit annoying abt my prsk fankids here. ill stick this on my oc blog to archive it but. jun insanity moment.

okay so based on this wip. from left to right.

itsuki kamishiro. natsume aoyagi. akari azusawa. hayate kiritani.

their unit is called pop! step! jump! and their a pop group! the vibes are a blend of mmj and vbs if you will. theyre connected to the plaza sekai where their feelings intersect.

natsume aoyagi is the unit leader technically. shes an akito/touya kid. shes bubbly and ditzy and a girl with a good heart even if shes prone to messing up. tho shes a bit too much of a people pleaser and doesnt know exactly what she wants in life. she is unsure of what she believes makes herself happy.

akari azusawa is natsumes best friend. shes a minori/kohane kid. she has a very sweet and cutesy personality but its really just a facade. in reality shes not very personable and sharp tongued. tho deep down she can be a genuinely kind person, but she needs to find the right people to bring that side out of her.

hayate kiritani is natsumes classmate. hes a haruka/shizuku kid. he has a charming personality and honestly. a cocky one too. but in a pathetic kind of way. (hes not as developed atm so i dont have as much to say abt him augh)

itsuki kamishiro is a good friend of hayate. hes a rui/amia kid. the student council vice president with a mysterious air. she seems very serious and rigid but deep down he has a childish personality and wants to learn to have more fun. he has tried taking up all sorts of hobbies but none of them have caught his interest.

uhmm idk what else to say and im getting tired. so i will stop here. but i love these four so badly. they are everything to me.

[legoarsonist]

What are the 5 most important things about your FNAF OC for us to know?

WOAG HAIII ngl im rlly glad i get to be doing this one x3!

I haven't quite decided on the name for the person possessing em, but the machine itself is named Stitchcraft!

(art of em commed from 8bitvanny!!!)

Stitchcraft is controlled by two things, one of which is a weak-willed spirit that can barely cling to the vessel it's trapped in, and an AI with the sole goal of keeping that spirit alive. Idk if it's mimic based or just an intelligence that's been twisted to help with that specifically, but hey it b what it b :3

OH YEAH, another funny thing, you know those tear streaks from their eyes? that's pure remnant. To keep that ghost alive they have to pump agony throughout the systems of the machine, like liquid cooling but with a ghost. and unlike fazbear ent's design process where they build animatronics to survive cannibalization of parts and rust, the stitchcraft's poor designing process means that they're gradually falling apart! leaks of oil and such are pretty common, especially with a spirit that just REALLY doesn't wanna be around clogging up systems with ghost stuff

what else uuhhh

there are technically two versions of em! a regular mascot suit and the animatronic. here's the mascot version of em with the weak-willed spirit as a kid!

(art also commed from 8bitvanny)

speaking of the weak-willed spirit, they don't really have a name. But i'm thinking that they're kinda pathetic. before they died they would cling desperately to a past which they'd never be able to get back. They'd use that mascot costume to sneak into locations and steal/salvage what they could to repair the stitchcraft animatronic. Their whole thing was that they wanted to preserve the past, but by doing so they also sort of did more harm than good, esp considering that stitchcraft wasn't originally programmed with a "keep user alive at all costs" kind of thing.

alr i think that's five? idk, certain things abt their lore i'm thinking of changing. I have another character in the works atm where the spirit would've taken a bunch of parts/code from, so that might also be a place where the messed up code came from

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

Iunno, it’s still static sprites that go on a pre-rigged skeleton. It isn’t that much more work. Source: I’ve literally worked on mobile game that uses similar techniques. That said the characters I worked on aren’t nearly as dynamic as they’re only seen from the waist up, but looking at limbo’s animations they need just a couple alternate arms and hands for the most part. Plus there are three variants it feels like they intended a full separate summer servant and then went with costume instead.

i debated answering this bc if i have to see more posts about this subject ill scream but im tired and petty atm and honestly feel like we're not even asking them to make MORE servants just like

instead of making it so its 7 female summer alts and 3 male costumes just make 6 female alts and one summer male alt as a test drive or something. like its frustrating to see people making posts about how the devs couldnt make more costumes for the men bc of crunch time the extra female costumes are more simple etc etc etc like that isnt really the point? the point is that constantly giving ppl 7 of one kind and 3 lesser versions of the other is unfair and people ARE allowed to wish theyd put a little less effort into one side and more into the other, even if the posts DO get annoying. like the valkyrie welfare has six alts- and yes, yes theyre all very similar with basically only the hairstyle changed but have we EVER had a male welfare with a similar amount of attention given to them? are we now not allowed to be annoyed that they couldnt...idk give tai sui his grown up form as a costume as well (which DOES have a sprite, it shows up in his np, even if theyd have to animate some more movement) without someone coming in chiding us for not being appropriately considerate of how hard the devs work?

i KNOW game development is hard and there's a lot of work that goes into it especially with how detailed and intricate fgo sprites are, but theyve persistently been given feedback that people want this and have done nothing to acknowledge it except doing in-game actions which, to the people who are asking for it, can read a lot like taunting or mockery. yeah, it's nice that they included the extra art hasendow did, but doing it for a wildly popular guy after a tidal wave of people begging for more male alts last year reads a LOT differently than the outfit for shuten douji, who has a welfare alt as well as her 'other self' in the event in a swimsuit. do you understand what im saying? ibuki and douman were released at the same time, and one was VASTLY more popular and profitable, but only one got a multi-ascension alt with a bonus costume and i think it isnt actually unreasonable for his fans to feel put out by that.

like, idk, i just think people are more upset than usual this year bc after all the fallout last year with how bad it was it had felt like fgo was actually getting more equal with how it treated it's cast-and with the announcement that there was going to be three ssrs, i legitimately thought that they WERE going to do a male summer alt, but were worried about the reception so weren't messing with the number of female summer ssrs-and i think other people thought that as well! but instead they continued with the same pattern they've always done, EXCEPT that they made 3 of the summer female alts ssrs instead of 2- which shows they're willing to buck tradition but not in the way people are asking for. the male summer alt thing isnt a new problem, they've had ample time to know that people have really really wanted it, they just dont want to do it, and its really annoying that when you complain about it you get a rush of people coming to defend the devs in various ways-they can't do summer alts of the men NOW bc what about the previous men who already got costumes, they cant do summer alts of the men NOW bc they just changed companies, they can't do summer alts of the men NOW bc they never did before, etc etc etc its just annoying like ok. i get it. you dont want to hear people complain! but if working on all these alts is so hard they can also cut down on the number of female alts...

like does this make sense? i know this is incoherent and probably whiny im just tired of whenever people are like 'hey can we actually change this annoying aspect of the game' people rush in to explain why it's impossible for it to change. they also said that about pity and quick casters and a whole bunch of other stuff that they then changed more recently, people were allowed to get their hopes up even if it was 'premature of them'

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Edit: still not into a whole marriage thing, looking forward to the storytelling aspect of this. But David's proposal speech was really fucking sweet. He sounds so happy. Also love that Angelbwas just like "Okay now what?" And the return of getting called one of the other wonderful nicknames.

Probably an unpopular take atm.

This is PURELY my own opinion and preference. And I'm really happy for Angel and David and appreciate all the work that Erik puts in for us. He's fucking amazing.

But personally? I'm kind of sad that he proposed. Probably just my own feelings about matrimony, but... dang... idk. I'm in the waiting room of a hospital right now so I don't have the time to listen to the newest upload. Maybe I'll change my mind.

And I'm happy for all those excited about this. -im not gonna try to bring this to Erik's attention either.- I was just hoping he wouldn't propose? Marriages and proposals always put a sense of dread in my gut.

I don't know. This is a mess and I'm all over the place. If I change my mind after listening to the newest upload, I'll delete this.

[gaykey]

i don’t get if im not getting what happened in this episode or if all that has actually happened in the episode made exactly zero sense??? how the fuck is kinn going to say that he was going to porsche to talk about tawan working for vegas when they have a whole scene with them pointing guns at each other and then kinn doesn’t say shit to him and lets him go without any explanation whatsoever??? and how did a mess like tawan manage to escape the main house with the help of one person alone when the house is supposed to be packed with security (especially considering they are in fact checking if he’s working with vegas as they suspect, so it’s really fucking crucial to keep an eye on him)???? and what kind of stupid shit is kinn talking about with his “i feel like I’m forgetting something” like he didn’t considered out loud the risks pete was going to take infiltrating the minor family??? how are you going to forget the whole reason your half baked potato plan even worked??? AND WHY THE FUCK DID THEY NEED TO KIDNAP PORSCHAY, CONSIDERING PORSCHE WAS ALREADY WITH VEGAS SO IT’S NOT LIKE THEY NEEDED TO LURE HIM SOMEWHERE SOMEHOw?!?!?!?! Honestly im so baffled… nine almost perfect episodes and now im wondering what am I supposed to expect next…

Also:

1) not kinn actually demanding apologies after the whole shitshow was kinda his doing??? The lack of self awareness?????

2) bible’s acting was so fucking good… he manages to be so deranged but also so delicate??? I don’t know, it’s impressive to the point of being creepy

3) im sorry but I don’t get the vegaspete hype

idk, it all made sense to me? i loved this episode.

like, maybe because i am a self-proclaimed kinn girlie, but his choices, though not ideal, made sense for his character and situation.

heads up, my kinn defender cap is firmly ON.

he said he was on his way to talk to porsche, but, at that point, porsche had already been broken out of the cell by vegas, and had had a fight with pete.

what could kinn do at that point? he can't just lock porsche back up like he didn't just do all that and risk making tawan suspicious and fucking up the plan.

also, that again would make him look weak. porsche knowingly left with vegas and attacked his friend (pete) and kinn just what? overlooks that? he has appearances that he must maintain at all times and he's trying his hardest to balance that along with his relationship with porsche.

he's doing what he thinks is best for everyone.

the small thing kinn could do in that moment, before more guards arrive and all hell breaks loose, was lower his gun, showing porsche he trusts him.

and yeah OK, tawan escaping right under their nose was a bad move on their part - but like, there was a lot going on, to be fair, and this dude has cheated death numerous times. i'm sure he can give a few bodyguards the slip.

AGAIN HE'S HAD A BUSY DAY JFHFHDJSJS

yeah no, i did say, has no one remembered that pete had a whole secret mission that was crucial to the entire mission and had not been seen since?

he's not dumb though :( he's relieved to have his lover back with him safe, and mourning the loss of a loyal bodyguard - he's not functioning at full capacity atm.

ummm the kidnapping of chay was clearly all tawan? like vegas explicitly says that wasn't part of the plan. you can see he's pissed when they go to porchse and chay's house and realise he's not there.

tawan is not in his right mind, and he's making rash decisions out of? anger, fear, desperation? decisions vegas definitely NOT ok.

chay was never meant to be there.

1. was he demanding apologies though?? like, i saw that scene as kinn mainly trying to break the ice and get porsche talking to him again. i don't think he actually felt porsche needed to apologise. his tone is playful and his face has a softness to it. he's also trying to explain to porsche in that scene, why he did what he did.

this is just a teeny bit off topic but it's relevant - but kinn has a history and not being able to deal with certain emotions and shutting down. he's not good at saying what he means and feels outright - he needs time to work up to certain interactions. but he says and shows his feelings in other ways. you need to look underneath the surface a little to get his true meaning.

which makes it actually super intriguing that you interpreted that scene so negatively. like, the way some of y'all perceive kinn's actions and reactions is so off i feel.

2. yeah bible is amazing. the way he plays vegas is just, perfect. he's so good at making the way people fall for and trust him so believable whilst also maintaining that unsettling aura he has - so even though his actions seem pure, you just know somethings off with him - is mwah! superb.

like, it'd be so easy to go over the top with vegas, and head into campy comic book villain territory, but bible makes vegas seem like a realistic villain. someone tou could imagine yourself meeting and being drawn in by.

idk like, he's just captivating to watch tbh

3. hm. a controversial opinion.

ok, so i only know about the bare minimum when it comes to novel vegaspete, but what i have heard......i don't like it? or get it?

now, with show vegaspete, with what we have so far? i can see the hype. i can understand it.

that's probably mostly down to how amazing bible & build are (like, i'm honestly just looking forward to the both of them acting their fucking arses off in a scene together). i'm super super intrigued to see how they adapt it.

but, the way some people are like? going so hard for them based on the novel alone has me......just, kinda side eyeing a little ngl.

we'll see what happens with them though. i have a lot of faith in the show, and i think they'll do a really good job.

so yeah, in my opinion - absolutely stellar episode. one of my faves in fact. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[one-abuse-survivor]

I'm the moving out anon hahah I'm 2 days into being in my uncles house and its crazy emotionally atm😅 i mean i feel so safe and he doesnt shout?? he asks nicely if he wants me to do something and like REALLY doesnt care if i make a mess? and doesnt care if i nap?? all things that would make my parents go ballistic hahha. yesterday I made some chicken and pasta for the first time ever and i dont really know how to work a cooker/stove thing nor am i too confident around boiling water lol (mum never let me do these things) i was throwing the pasta in the pan cos i didnt wanna pour it and get the water on me and he was in there and he just..didnt care that i was missing a lot lol like at all. he knew i was gonna clean it up hahha but i didnt do too great with the food i forgot a lot of things cos the time constraints of the food was making me kinda panic a little so i think ive gotta do some extra beginner stuff 😂😂 when he comes in my room he knocks and talks at a normal volume or quieter, and its just so relaxing. when we are going out shopping or smth, he sets a time then leaves me alone then comes in my room at the time and is calm af the whole time and we set off and hes just calm??? idk i feel like its a whole shock to my system atm hahaha im waiting for the other shoe to drop constantly even though i trust him enough to never be like that (like ever its not his thing to be explosive lol) will i get used to this in time? im sleepy a lot too like just exhausted hahah its crazy but these are 'normal' reactions, right?

Hi, nonnie! Sorry for the late reply. I'm so glad you were able to move in with someone who is so calm and who can provide you such a safe and normal space to live in!

This shock you're describing is really common when you've been abused, and when you have PTSD in general. It's like your body just cannot compute with the feeling of safety, and has to constantly anticipate the moment when the other person will finally snap, because that anticipation is the only thing that has kept you safe till now.

It does get better, though, and I hope it has for you since you sent this ask! Time, as well as more and more moments when the right people show you that they're not going to explode no matter what, will eventually, slowly teach your body that it doesn't need to be hypervigilant to be safe. Therapy can help, too, and just being aware of what you're going through and being patient with yourself can make a huge difference.

I've personally found that I have to repeat this process almost every time a new authority figure appears in my life. This can be really frustrating, and scary, because the feeling of fear and hypervigilance you thought you had overcome suddenly comes rushing back. But it does get easier over time, and there will come a day when you'll naturally expect people to be kind and respectful, and when the opposite—aggression and disrespect—will feel shocking and unexpected.

Hope you're doing well! Sending a big virtual hug ❤️

[elsfairy]

just wanted so say how much i appreciate you and the effort you put into your work.

life gets tough but you’re not going through these hard times, they’re going through you. and when they’re over, you‘ll be a new version of yourself with new experiences and a new mindset.

remember to take care of yourself, take breaks, surround urself with people who love you.

u got this 🤍🌷🫧💗

i appreciate you, a lot. i can be slow with my replies, or answering literally anything but I'm overwhelmed because people actually like what i write, and some days i just cry because you're all so kind, and im just a fuckin mess. im trying tho LMAO. I'm glad you're here though, reading whatever i post. even if it's just.. a line of something sometimes, help

Just taking it day by day atm, but i'll get there eventually. gotta actually give myself time, even though idk how but thank you, this means a lot. 💗

Okay im gonna stop being emotional, i hope you're having a good day, make sure to drink water <3

[danieldaystreep]

They thought they had it covered in the next scene with Louis and Claudia "he doesn't love her" "you heard him say it" "he wanted us to discover him, he's all kinds of fucked up and he would have killed her in a second if he thought I would take him as he is". They didn't think it through and it was a mess, they just wanted to have a plot twist and the audience mad at Lestat so they could consider the murder totally justified, but the writing was lazy and full of poor choices. They planned a redeeming arc for Lestat but I really don't know if they will be able to do so without destroying the other characters.

yeah but they're limited by whose perspectives we have access to rn so idk what else they could've done once they decided they needed her to be used for that twist, it's never gonna be fully convincing because we can only see the situation from louis & claudia's view. that's why fandom has to use sam's statements to understand it better cause that's the only insight we have on lestat atm. so yes WE know that lestat only didn't kill her cause louis didn't ask and won't admit his feelings cause sam says it but in the context of the show what louis believes isn't fullproof cause he doesn't know for sure.

also you have to look at that scene on the park bench cause the meaning of that scene changes drastically once we see the reveal in 1x07. at first we're meant to believe per claudia's line that lestat is just flouncing off to see antoinette to get his rocks off but once it's revealed antoinette is hiding behind a tree spying on them, the context changes everything cause now we know he's not just going to see his mistress but actually using her to make sure he doesn't lose louis (and claudia but she's a means for him to keep louis). imo stuff like that is probably what the show plans on doing with lestat's pov in s3, like you think this situation was about one thing but it'll be revealed later what the true motivation was. is it smart to make the audience wait 2-3 yrs for that? im not sure but i think that's what they're going for.

[paralien]

i think the thing that sucks the most abt having a really hard period as an adult, (like, emotionally and physically) is that yes i can cry at work. done. but all i want to do when i come home is like, curl up really tight in my bedroom and feel bad for myself for days yeah? but i can't. bc i have to go grocery shopping later today for more kitchen towels and bread and I need to wash my sheets and the apartment is a mess and I'm literally moving within the next 3 to 5 days so I need to keep packing and like, I need to do it. and im gonna do it. but then my brain is also like hah! you go grocery shopping? then you're not feeling bad. fool! faker! bah!

and like, I know it's obv to others I'm not doing well atm, I dont live alone anymore (hi👋) and I have rly good friends who care abt me who are watching oit for me and like all things, this'll pass. Bc it's 'only' happening bc I've had a big life change at the same time that I've been working way too much AND while im preparing to move again and it makes sense stuff is hard!!! but also like, I was like sick sick as a teen, so now as an adult when I'm not that sick I'm like hm am I really doing bad? but like. it's good im not doing that bad! good that I can like, clean i guess. but bwah. it still feels bad and I still just kinda wanna feel bad for myself for days bc I do feel bad. like, im genuinely in a lot of physical pain wvery day and that's making my brain struggle. but then i also get annoyed that like, im awful at being a martyr and just sucking it up and gling im fine dw ♡ and then idk being super man and getting everything done and being super available emotionally and phyeically to everyone and being like this perfecf godlike being the kind youd feel awful for in movi3s but also thats unrealistif and stupid. and also i never shut up so if i do feel bad everyone knows abt it. but thats also why i wish i wws better at like. being wuiet? bc i feel childish. and i dont want ppl to think im childish. im an adukt im just really stupid. and selfish. and whiny. byt qlso my ass is nice so theres tgat. idk where I'm going w this!!!!! I'm procrastinating getting started on the rush of the last 2hrs of work where I've gotta do breakfast prep. mm.

bwah. my stomach hurts again at work :(

[things-i-learned-at-school]

So i made pasta but i dont have the attachment so it had a weird texture ((it was 2 thicc 4 me))

But like heres what i did if u have the attachment or are planning on getting one but dont know how 2 make pasta dough:

I used a mix of semolina and APF, semolina ((or at least the kind i could find at the store was kinda fuckin expensive??)), but lucky for u, u can do whatever u want. Just note itll affect the texture of ur final product. Course semolina helps sauce stick to the noodles better too. U can use eggs iff u want, usually 3 will do the trick but i am in need of a grocery store run so this will do.

Make a lump and dig a well. Add some kosher salt too.

This is where u would add eggs if ur using them, im using water. If u have eggs keep some water nearby to adjust texture.

Fork it up ((u will probably make a bit of a mess, thats ok, just keep mixin))

Eventually u will have a lump o dough- if u see this happening it means ur tearing ur beautiful gluten strands. Just be careful not to stretch the dough.

U eventually will have a little guy, u want him to be a little sticky but not too much.

p.s. i used a rice paddle to help me shape it. A rubber bench scraper is perfect for the job but mine is missing atm lmao??

Wrap ur little guy up and let him rest abt 30 minutes

If u have the attachment-

sprinkle flour onto ur workspace, lay out ur dough, and fold it like a burrito

Put ur burrto into the machine starting on the thickest setting and run it through going one setting thinner each time. Its ok to cut it to make it more manageable, standard noodle length is 12” anyway.

Once u get down to the lowest or second to lowest ((based on preference)) run it through whichever noodle shape u have/want to use.

Congrats u have homemade pasta

Now u can either cook it immediately, refrigerate it for a week, or freeze it for months.

Quick note on pasta attachments: DONT GET THEM WET. PLEASE. It will die. They dont dry right so the water will sit there and cause them to rust. Try cleaning them with a brush instead.

Ok thanks bye!! Might do a thing on white wine sauce later but idk!!!

[textsacc]

mm 🥺 nvm bestie i cant sleeb i have a lot to say n think abt

like how when i put my head down on a pillow n close my eyes i can rly see mc and its bad idw to 🥺 n also now im feeling regret for playing mc im so upset bc i cant seem to feel good abt being able to play games

mmm n also i felt bad trying to sleeb bc i missed u n miss sleebbing w u but was playing mc and i prefer u to minecraft and its just !!!! bad that i had to focus on minecrafr

like i didnt even get to ask u abt ur day or anth i ddint get to tell u that u did a great job w the party i didnr get to ask how u celebrated. u know what i also realize while laying down. i didnt even get to ask u out this summer n im so frustrated bc sch is starting for u n idw interrupt your schedule but i wanna do stuff now that im finally not busy and its just!!! its just a whole mess!!! i dont like it,,, i just wanna spend time tgt n cuddle,,,

i was only reading some manga today, regular fantasy isekai, called reincarnation of a sword, but i hated how the story progressed so i just. got rly mad at the state of my life rn idk???? tired n upset abt it n also i miss u n like cant believe i want to prioritize u above all else no joke its kind of }:v mood??? idk

n also i wanted to ask for clash but like thats secondary

jn me in mc i was playing w kon n sab n we were killing the ender dragon n also raiding some cities aft that. which is rly high pressure bc theres a lot of enemies after me n its rly easy to die AND i was the only one raiding it bc kon n sab cldnt help as much so they took forever while trying to get to a place i alr cleared out. i was trynna go fast n get the impt stuff for them n get out bc we all hated the place. n they yelled at me for stealing the show n flexing ig

tmr ill b going to sabs house bc they wanna hang out b4 going to nex to eat dinner w yee. and that sounds rly nice but at the same time i feel rly burnt out for sm reason. yes its 4am ig thats probably why i feel awful but. idk i also want cuddles n kisses ig. i wan cute girl (you) n im sorry i didnt get to see u off to sleeb 🥺 i rly wanted to n i was trynna raid asap so i cld but ik ur good girl n sleeb early bc school n i respect that so its nbd but i also rly like u n i wanna tuck u into bed n its like so routine that i miss u dearly at night n also it feels wrong when i cant. like if every day was a chapter you wld b my ending paragraph and if u werent there it wld feel like the chapter ended with tension. idk does that make any sense

also i wanted to lyk that like. im still talking to katelyn right bc of the site n we're friends but like. bestie. i need u to know i forgot to spell her name when we were talking. the aftnoon like 3 to 4 days ago when u were like gonna go ask katelyn or smth. she was going to sleeb bc our aftnoon is usa sleeby time i think and she said goodnight to me with my name but i cldnt mirror it back. i dont know why i thought it was kaitlyn (league of legends???) but ik i dont rmb how to spell it and the fact that u did makes me rly upset platonically and impressed every other manner. because i fucking didnt. 😭 just ic u wanna know how much shes on my mind (shes not. i miss u a whole lot. i want to sleeb w u agn)

bestie i hope ur day at sch goes okay 🥺🥺 n ill sleeb early w u i promise im not even gonna touch mc past 11 any more idk why it makes me feel sick but ik it does n im just. i want to stop feeling awful n up at 3 to 6 am during the hols. i miss you a lot n if i cld i wld like to follow u everywhere n help u out 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 pls keep me close like ur pet or ur little meow meow,,,

ilysm cutie 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i wish i was cuddling u instead of blahaj atm even if he is comfy. i wan giv u so many kiss n brush ur hair n tell u ur cute n go head empty i always go head empty when ur arnd and i like that... ure an angel 🥺🥺🥺🙏❤️

thank u bestie gnight 🥺🥺🙏