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polutrope · 6 months

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Just pure headcanons, what do you think happened during Maglor's reign as a king? I don't know if his reign was short or something but I remember it took some time before Fingon was able to save Maedhros and unite the noldor and there was still some division between the host of nolofinweans and feanorians. I wonder if he considered himself a placeholder until Maedhros returned or was he a reluctant king? Did the host respect him as a king, did his own brothers respect him as a king? I am so intrigued because, aside from Maedhros, I think Maglor deserved some shoutout lmao (No, this isn't a maglor-obsession-spree that I have been on, nu uh). Also, I feel like he would have some cordial relationship with Fingolfin, they could bond as the second sons having to take leadership because the eldest died/was abducted idk.

Oh no, starlitelwing. I hope you know the Pandora's Box you've just opened. King Maglor is one of my all-time favourite things to think about.

First of all: there's actually no canonical information on Maglor's position after the capture of Maedhros (in fact, we don't even know what Maedhros' title/position was after Feanor's death; all we know is that Feanor "claimed now the kingship of all the Noldor" in Tirion. Contested leadership is SO GOOD isn't it? anyway...).

The published Silmarillion glosses right over the question of who's in charge during the time between Feanor's death and Fingolfin's official assumption of the Kingship of the Noldor (which, if you ask me, Fingolfin effectively had been King since the time of Feanor's exile, and he was in any case Regent at the time of Finwe's death... he said he'd follow Feanor but the people following him were calling him Finwe Nolofinwe soooo... aiee, I digress again). The book gallops at such a breakneck speed that you don't really notice the gap in leadership. Or, I didn't.

But then you look at the Grey Annals (where Tolkien Gateway gets most of its First Age dates) and you see that there are 2-3 Tree Years and 5 Sun Years between Maedhros' capture and his rescue. Now, however you imagine time works in Tree Years when there are no Trees, that's still a long time. Maedhros was gone at a minimum 6-7 years, more likely closer to the equivalent of 30 "regular" years. (That's way longer, by the way, than the time between Feanor's death and Maedhros' capture, which was like, a day to a month, at most. Maedhros, if he even was King, was King for way less time than whoever followed him. And he sucked at the job, btw. But I digress. Again.)

So someone had to be in charge for those 6 to 30 years, but whomst? That the leadership would pass after Feanor's death to the eldest son is logical, and that it would then pass to the next eldest is also logical. I see no reason to refute that, but note: it would not be uncanonical to have someone other than Maedhros or Maglor in charge at this time. You can make King Celegorm a thing and still be canon-compliant!

This passage in the published Silm is basically the extent of the activities of the sons of Feanor during Maedhros' absence:

Then the brothers of Maedhros drew back, and fortified a great camp in Hithlum; but Morgoth held Maedhros as hostage, and sent word that he would not release him unless the Noldor would forsake their war, returning into the West, or else departing far from Beleriand into the South of the world. But the sons of Feanor knew that Morgoth would betray them, and would not release Maedhros, whatsoever they might do; and they were constrained also by their oath, and might not for any cause forsake the war against their Enemy.

The sense here is that all six sons acted as a unit. But in the 1937 Quenta Silmarillion, the text on which this passage is drawn:

Morgoth held [Maedhros] as hostage and sent word to Maglor that he would only release his brother if …

To Maglor! Excellent evidence that Tolkien was also making the logical conclusion that Maglor, the eldest, was in charge. (My best theory for why Christopher Tolkien took that out is Too Many Names, but it's an odd decision.)

All that was to say: We don't know, canonically, that Maglor was in charge at Mithrim. But it makes a lot of sense, and it's my headcanon that he was.

Now. More interesting headcanons.

I don't think Maglor was called King until it was politically necessary.

I see him as someone who is comfortable in command (one meaning of Cano is "commander", after all) but who likes to command collaboratively. Double-edged sword: he values the input of others (admirable quality) and he does not like being fully responsible for the outcomes of a decision (less admirable).

Unlike much fanon I've come across, I don't think Maglor was a particularly reluctant or incompetent leader or that he hated it. He was miserable, yes, because his father just died and his brother was just captured, and he wasn't thrilled to become a leader on top of that, but he keeps it together.

So how do I imagine it all went down?

The problem with Maglor being in command is that his "collaborative" style of leadership is not appropriate for a time of crisis or for his family. While the Silm often talks about "the sons of a Feanor" as a unit, I do not think they were of the same mind on everything. At all. They need a firm hand, and Maglor does not have that.

But who does have a firm hand? Who would be a more martial ruler, someone who could get people in order during a crisis? Celegorm. And he knows it.

So why did the Feanorians "get nothing done" during those 6-30 years (sidenote: I don't actually think they got nothing done, but it does seem they didn't get anything BIG done)? Well, for one, they were fighting amongst themselves.

Maglor could not get his brothers to agree on anything, and yet he did not know any other way of commanding, and over time he becomes more and more miserable as a leader.

Celegorm, meanwhile, is chomping at the bit to "relieve him" of the burden.

Around them, everyone else is picking sides.

Curufin is an interesting case. I headcanon he actually was fully behind Maglor at the beginning, because he respects the orderliness of succession. But as Maglor proves himself unsuitable for the role, he aligns with Celegorm.

Outside the family, I headcanon that the Mithrim Elves were actually quite taken with Maglor, the poet-king. Their alliance hinges on him. But the Noldor, especially the army, would rather follow Celegorm.

As everyone knows, a rival for leadership with the army's support is Bad News. And yet Maglor manages to hold on. He should definitely get credit for that.

But why hold on? If he is hating this ruler job, why not just let Celegorm have it? Couple reasons:

It's Celegorm. He may be able to perform well, but Maglor knows he's the most like Feanor in temperament and, well, Feanor's kingship didn't end well.

If Maglor gives up that crown, he will have admitted to himself that Maedhros is not coming back. This is the same reason he doesn't give it over to Fingolfin when Uncle Nolvo shows up. He is hanging onto that thing for dear life because, to him, it belongs to Maedhros and only Maedhros. He is the crown's custodian, never its rightful owner (this bleeds into my headcanon that Maglor does not "in his heart" agree with Maedhros' decision to cede the kingship — he'll never be as vocal about it as the others, though).

Now we come to another piece. What did Maglor call himself? Like I said up top, I don't think he initially called himself King. He was "head of his House", or maybe, "Lord of Hithlum," or maybe King Regent, but never King. If one of the Mithrim got mixed up and called him that, he would always correct them.

That changes when Fingolfin shows up. Now there's another claimant to the title of King. Possibly a more legitimate one than even Maedhros (as Maedhros later says himself).

By that time, Maglor has been keeping that crown out of Celegorm's hands for years; he is not giving it up now. And Fingolfin is less likely to challenge his leadership if he offers no room for ambiguity. If he dons the mantle of kingship and pretends Maedhros is dead.

So that is what he does... Does Fingolfin accept it? Well: "Then there was peril of strife between the hosts."

For three years, on opposite sides of the Lake, they're at an impasse. Fingon doesn't go looking for Maedhros because he thinks Maedhros is dead (and other reasons: the mission is insane and desperate not the least, and contrary to popular opinion Fingon is not a rash idiot).

How does Fingon eventually learn the truth? You'll have to wait and read what @melestasflight and I are cooking up for Silm Epistolary Week ;)

ETA: Despite this, I do think you're right that Maglor and Fingolfin could have bonded over their similar experiences! There's the personal and there's the political, and I love the idea of the tension between these straining what could be an emotionally supportive familial friendship between Maglor and Fingolfin.

#asks #maglor #high king maglor #or not #bless you for this ask #apologies for the length #istg I did proofread this before hitting post #apparently not well

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okthatsgreat · 5 months

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ok Idk if ur like hiding spoilers so don’t answer any of this if u can’t but if u CAN please please tell me why the dating sim girls hate & ur omnipotence so much they want you dead!!!!! is it the same reason they hated the first one or different? is there a reason tamsin wants you to stay on script, knowing she’s not interested and likely doesn’t like the dating sim format she’s stuck in? id kill to play this lee

ID KILL TO MAKE THISSSSSSSSS GOD I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS!!!!!! SO MANY IDEAS THAT ARE FAR TOO AMBITIOUS

BUT i can say this a lottt of it revolves around the medium of video games/dating simulators in general. if that makes sense. like the typical dating simulator is over the course of a few weeks(??) or something, which you AS THE PLAYER are able to pop in and out of as well as restart and redo to your hearts desire. if you want a different ending then you can simply restart the week and get a different ending!! if you want to date a different girl or see all of her reactions to everything you say to her then you can do that!! that’s definitely what the LAST guy did. but the thing that at some point these four girls became AWARE he was doing that. they are the only four people in this soulless world that are AWARE that they are stuck in an endless, one month cycle that all bends to one guys whim. they had no control whatsoever about what happened because they were not created to drive the narrative forward. and protag 1 was a very bored player with a lot of free time

so at one point the npcs finally actually for real talk to each other outside of their “pre-set” dialogue. the first protag has been repeating ellies route for a while now and the others were initially resentful of her just because they for real do Nothing when their route isn’t being played. but then one day ellie goes This Sucks. and the other girls go This Sucks. and the plan is formed to confront protag 1, and whether they MEANT to murder him or not they ended up killing him, at drowsy creek which is where ellie’s ‘final date’ is. and they don’t have that long to feel terrible or anything, because the timeloop STOPS. like they actually DID IT. which is why so many of them look different when YOU show up— they were actually able to explore the world and grow as people!!!!

but then here YOU are!! the second protagonist! you have the same ability as the first guy, and suddenly all four of them are stuck in the EXACT same cycle. which is why your decisions are really important here— IMMEDIATELY a lot of them are thinking about killing you, because that clearly worked for the last guy. pushing wayyy too hard about the murder is gonna make them even MORE hostile, especially tamsin who is quite defensive (hence why she’s telling you to BACK OFF BUDDY). a lot of the endings of this game are them taking you out lmao, only for you to come righhtttt back. if you go through the game just trying to do a normal romance route, it’s likely you’re gonna get killed!! ESPECIALLY if you do ellie’s bc she’s so over it lmfao

in my dream beautiful universe where i am able to make this game, the “true ending” of the game involves the four characters waving you goodbye before the game gets uninstalled from your computer entirely. bc that is truly the only way of ending the cycle. they have to be removed from the context of a video game and the protagonist simply can’t exist

#imagine me gnawing at the fucking walls rn that is me about this imaginary video game #ask lee #lesbitching #dating sim

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ionfusionpunk · 1 year

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hello, what’s this about awake craniotomies and clone chip removal? (I don’t follow you, I just saw your note in the reblogs and went “oooo this seems interesting!”)

Heyo! Of all the things I've commented on a post, I think this is exactly the one I expected to hear about the least lolol. I'm warning you, this is... a long post. It got away from me, I'm so sorry T-T (It's heckin long. I'm really sorry. I'll summarize at the top and you can read more beneath the break if you want.)

Long story short, I hyper fixated on this tiny little detail that really doesn't actually affect anything within the SW universe lmao.

TL;DR: The clones should be awake for their chip removal procedures with the exception of extenuating circumstances. Also, disclaimer, I'm not in the medical field, I just love research. If I get anything wrong, anyone is free to correct me :)

If you have any questions, please ask, I'm not very good at explaining things in way others understand at first. So it all makes sense to me, but you might not follow my leaps in logic 😅

Longer story: I was reading a fic this morning, and the clones involved got their chip removed. The text said something about 'waiting for them to wake up from the surgery', and it just kinda... idk, hit me that I have never ever read any fic where the clone doesn't have to wake up from being completely sedated for brain surgery.

Now, look. Write what you wanna write, like I said, it's not a big thing. But one of my neurodivergent quirks is that inaccuracy/misinformation/ignorance (willful or innocent) kinda bugs me? I like knowing that other people know things - know correct things. It brings me satisfaction and helps me sleep at night. So I kinda notice trends in what people seem to not/know.

My first thought when I realized the trend of complete sedation for brain surgery/chip removal led to me to draw two conclusions: a) As happens in fandom, most everyone just writes clones completely sedated for this procedure bc everyone else does. No biggie. It's easier, and again, doesn't really matter. b) Most everyone is working off misinformation pulled from inaccurate medical dramas and the assumptions made by the average fic writer. Again, not an issue. It's fiction. I just like... accuracy. So my brain took this and went ham.

Kay. So, there's this really cool thing about the brain that I'm starting to think isn't common knowledge? I'm kinda a nerd for weird medical things, and it's been a long time since my high school biology class where I first learned about this, so maybe it's just me. The brain doesn't have any pain receptors. None. Like, if you had just a living brain in the palm of your hand and you stabbed it or punched it or whatever, it wouldn't feel pain. Pressure maybe, since it still has touch receptors, but no pain whatsoever. The only pain receptors present around the vicinity of the brain are the ones around the brain.

This little fact led to a really cool and helpful medical advancement several years ago: this thing called awake craniotomies, or brain surgery where the patient is still conscious. The benefit is that it allows the surgical team to engage the patient and actively monitor cognitive function; this is a far step from waiting for the patient to wake up in order to determine if the surgeon done effed up and turned the patient into a vegetable - if they woke up at all, that is.

Originally this was practiced on epileptic patients bc, yanno, epilepsy. It's a really finicky condition, after all. Since then however we've managed to find other treatment options for epilepsy and other related conditions, so awake craniotomies (or conscious craniotomies as I call them, since it alliterates lol), so we've moved away from brain surgery there. Instead, awake craniotomies are now most often performed when removing or recessing a brain tumor. Again, it's a really finicky process, and the surgeon and their team really like being able to check on the patient during the whole process.

Before anyone freaks out about the pain receptors around the brain, there's an answer for that, too. A local anesthetic is used to completely numb the skull and scalp. Think of an epidural; it's the same idea.

Now, you may ask, how this all relates back to SW? Well, that's a great question lmaoooo. Now, in all of canon SW, there are only... seven (maybe eight) instances of a clone getting their chip removed. Tup, Fives, Rex, Hunter, Wrecker, Tech, and Omega (and Crosshair if his chip actually was removed like he said, I haven't watched TBBS2 yet). Actually, did Kix? I don't remember. Anyway.

I'm operating off the assumption that SW medical knowledge/tech is about equal to our own - i.e. that they still use many of the same procedures/practices/techniques for most things bar canonical exceptions. My friend in the server however pointed out that they weren't sure any clone medic could perform a complex brain surgery. Now, that's a fair point. The Kaminoans wouldn't care to teach the medics how to perform those surgeries on each other; they're products, they can be replaced, so what's the point?

But. Here are my counterpoints to that.

First. In the event of an emergency, it would only make sense that a clone medic be prepared to perform any sort of necessary procedure on a natborn officer or even their Jedi general/commander in the event they could not make it to a medical station or a proper surgeon in time. If there were natborn medics trained in complicated procedures and stationed on the ships, then there's always the chance there would be far more clone medics than them, and thus if they die, the clone medics would need to be able to step up in their place. So. Clone medics can probably perform brain surgery.

Second. With Fives, Rex, and CF99 (minus Crosshair), they remove their chips via surgical droid/machine. In fact, both Rex and CF99 do so on a GAR class ship. This shows that not only did the clones have access to the necessary technology, but it could also be easily operated. And not only that, but the only thing they needed was a program to locate and remove the chip. I think the importance of the program is that the machine itself can't perform a Level 5 Atomic Scan, so the program is needed to triangulate the position of the chip for the surgical machine itself.

Now. As to why an awake craniotomy is the way to go. Again, it allows the team to actively monitor cognitive function. Only in extenuating circumstances will the patient be completely sedated. This could be preference on the patient's part or due to certain circumstances.

Look at Tup, for example. His chip was rotting in his skull, and it's treated like a tumor (technically it is). Keeping him awake risked damage to himself and others. In light of this, it was safer for him to remain fully sedated. Additionally, he probably couldn't be revived completely either due to the already existent brain damage. This is an extenuating circumstance. Note however that there was still a qualified individual present for the surgery: the AZI droid maybe Nale Se, maybe Fives, I legit don't remember I'm so sorry). Now, there is another side to Tup's case: the Kaminoans. Nale Se wouldn't have cared for Tup's continued functionality; she only wanted his chip. She would have kept him sedated out of convenience, because the intent was always to have him decommissioned anyway.

Now for Fives. Fives learned about the chips. He had his removed. Who helped him? AZI. However, my theory here is that it isn't actually AZI performing the surgeries. I think he just... holds the programs for various surgeries and programs the surgical machine. We don't see anything of Fives' actual chip removal procedure, only the aftermath. I hypothesize that Fives was awake in the machine however, just properly anesthetized by AZI - who, as a medical assistant droid, would most likely be programmed as an anesthesiologist - and also observed by AZI. What I'm saying is that AZI probably was monitoring Fives' cognitive functions while he underwent an awake craniotomy to remove the chip in his head.

Rex. We know nothing about that procedure, just that it happened (unless we do, idk). Either another clone medic helped him and was there to monitor cognitive function, or Rex involved the help of another droid in order to be properly anesthetized for the process. Given the intense nature of the circumstances, he wouldn't have wanted to be fully sedated for the process in case he had to respond quickly to the chaos - which he did, leading ultimately to him and Ahsoka escaping with their lives. So, he wouldn't have been monitored (except maybe by a droid), but he definitely wouldn't have been fully sedated, either.

Then for CF99. For these procedures, we see Tech program the machine and then stand watch as they go in. They aren't sedated, with the technical exception of Wrecker (iirc, he was stunned unconscious). It's not just caution or paranoia that makes him observe, and not even just his knowledge of what's happening: it's procedure. He's there, as the only one who would know how to check, monitoring the cognitive function of his family.

Now, the conclusion, lol.

I mentioned my two hypotheses earlier about why fandom as a whole writes the clones being completely sedated. After going through all of this, I'm leaning more towards a simple abundance of misinformation. It's technically and tactically safer and more correct for the clones to be awake for their chip removals, and in fact seems to be subtly portrayed in canon (though it's really written in a way that can be interpreted either way).

The moral of this story is that TV medical dramas are shit and should never be taken at face value. Honestly. No one wakes up after CPR. They remain unconscious for a while. Defibrillation doesn't wake a person up, either. If you're hit hard enough to be knocked unconscious, you have a concussion. It takes seven minutes to kill a person by choking them, not seven seconds, but you can make them pass out in seven seconds if you apply pressure to the write spots on their neck in order to cut blood flow to the brain. Stuff like that. Oh, and yeah: awake craniotomies are a thing and are the safe way to remove a clone's chip.

#welcome to my ted talk #star wars #the clone wars #clone chip removal #awake craniotomies #info dump #meta #medical innaccuracies #fanfiction #misinformation #my interpretations of a very niche thing that everyone can absolutely ignore #asks #answers #asks and answers #asks are answered #now i'm rambling again oh stars please make me stop

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willowser · 9 months

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lol original anon here😭I wasn’t at all referring to the sir or ma’am or even politeness thing. I guess a better way to put it would be like… I was wondering if there was some reason you don’t usually write Bakugo as the fun parent. Cuz he gets home to u decorating cookies so ig im wondering about what fun stuff do you think he initiates with the kids? When hes not working ofc.

Anyway sorry to cause this whole mess, I hope u don’t feel like I was trying to … undermine your choices

OHHHHHH like fun stuff !!! okay !!! hmm hmm !! well tbh i think the unfortunate reality of him having kiddos would be that he's still working a lot, regardless 🥺 it's such a difficult topic i think i just avoid it LOL but anyway !! i usually write us as doing the things with the little bugs bc i just imagine that we're at home a little bit more than he is, or at least have a more flexible schedule that allows to us go out and do things, or pick up gingerbread houses from the store or board games or whatever !!

as far as what he does with them.....hmm.....ykw i think this stumps me a little too bc. i guess i'm just wondering aloud here what—his view of fun would be for a kiddo ?? bc what i feel like we predominantly see of his childhood, he wasn't with his parents, he was leading his lil bully group LMAO hmm. and idk !! was katsuki getting taken to the zoo and the waterpark ?? or was he training his quirk ?? like what WAS fun for him, at that age ?? at what point in his life would he define what is traditionally "fun" for children ??

i think, when he has time, he's just very hands-on with ??? like he's pushing the couch a little out of the way in the living room and the kiddos are tag-team wrestling him on the floor LOL or—

pause. another thought. i also think it would be hard to do anything public with his family bc i think he's very private with them !! so days out are maybe very minimal ! bc he doesn't want to draw attention !!

—anyway, i can imagine him taking the family on a lake getaway trip somewhere, and they're swimming together and he's teaching his littlest bug how to move around with their life vest and hoisting the older one up in the air and throwing them as far as he can in the water LOL do you know what i mean !!! i think his love language is just—being there. that's fun for him. just getting to be involved in any way. i don't imagine him as the one bringing the gingerbread house home bc i think he's working a lot, but when he does get home, he's tossing the kids around for a minute before letting his daughter sit in his lap so she can finish working on hers. do you know what i mean !!! does that make sense !!!

also you didn't even cause a mess whatsoever !!! i think a different anon started the conversation anyway and it was a fun convo to have !!! omg no worries !!

#i dont think it's that he doesnt *want* to initiate the fun things with him; he just doesnt always get the chance !!!#and he doesnt—really think ??? to go out and buy painting supplies or to play barbies or pull out a board game ????#like. he's joining them on the trampoline and double-jumping them or setting the sprinkler up in the back yard #for them to run around and play with when it's hot #blasting them with the waterhose LOL #i think he likes being a homebody but he in a way has to be ??#cw children #✿ ask willow #✿ theme: dad bakugou

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ellscarrotqueen · 9 days

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HSMTMTS HEADCANONS❤️🤍🎤🎭🎶

so as requested here are my hsmtmts headcanons, if there are any other headcanons you want me to share let me know. and leave your thoughts on mine if you would like. hope you enjoy lol! i also have in general headcanons of characters as well not just sexuality, etc. i also have ship headcanons i guess lol. so if you would like those i'll be happy to share. this is kind of a mess lmaoo

Ricky Bowen:

i strongly believe that ricky is bisexual there is just no way that he is straight. i may be bias because i ship Caswen but yeah. he for sure is NOT straight whatsoever 🩷💜💙

ricky uses he/him pronouns but i think ricky would honestly also be okay with using he/they pronouns.

i think ricky has ADHD because i have ADHD and he’s so me. so he has ADHD because i said so and it just makes sense he gives that vibe. i believe he could also be autistic perhaps because i can see it kind of makes sense.

i believe ricky has anxiety as well (same) i do believe he might have a little bit of social anxiety in some scenarios too.

EJ Caswell:

i believe that ej is gay. there’s no way he is straight. he’s a theatre kid okay, he’s definitely not straight 🏳️‍🌈 i feel like its possible after dating girls he realised he was actually gay.

i think ej would use he/him pronouns but he probably doesn't mind he/they either.

i like to think that ej is autistic, because it lowkey just makes a lot of sense to me idk.

Gina Porter:

i like to think that Gina is probably bisexual, i believe she has had multiple crushes on girls as well as boys. 🩷💜💙

gina definitely doesn't mind she/they pronouns.

i feel like gina is audhd, it just feels right to me and idk why, i also think she has anxiety.

Nini (Nina) Salazar-Roberts:

i believe Nini is a lesbian, and no one can tell me otherwise. i like to think she used to label herself as bisexual because of the few crushes on girls she may have had, and after dating men that she didn't like men and figured out she just liked women. she had a very bisexual to lesbian pipeline i feel like. 🩷🤍🧡

definitely she/they pronouns, sometimes she prefers they/them over she/her though.

i feel like she is autistic.

Ashlyn Caswell:

ashlyn is already canon queer, but i do believe she is most likely bisexual or pansexual. i'm not sure if they ever confirmed her label, but i honestly don't care bc she's a canon sapphic, whether thats bisexual, pansexual or what ever else we stan her 🏳️‍🌈

she/they pronouns

i think she's autistic for sure.

Big Red:

well big red is canon bisexual, so yep he's bisexual. before he was confirmed to be queer i always thought he was queer lol 🩷💜💙

i feel like big red uses he/him but sometimes he prefers they/he.

i have a feeling he is probably autistic, maybe adhd too.

Seb Matthew-Smith:

well seb is basically canon bisexual right so yeah. 🩷💜💙

i think seb uses he/him pronouns sometimes they/them.

seb is definitely autistic lol no one can tell me otherwise.

seb for sure has social anxiety as well.

Carlos Rodríguez:

carlos is canon gay so yeah lol 🏳️‍🌈

he for sure uses he/they pronouns idk why i feel like he does but it makes sense idk.

he is definitely autistic or adhd, you cannot possibly tell me he is neurotypical.

Maddox:

i don't think they ever confirm a label for maddox, but we know she is in some way sapphic, most likely a lesbian? as i only think they only showed she had crushes on and relationships with girls - her ex madison, that she used to like val (confirmed by her) and her current gf ashlyn. 🩷🤍🧡

maddox uses she/they pronouns and sometimes prefers they/them pronouns over she/her.

being autistic runs in maddox and jet's family and i like to think she is autistic + adhd.

Jet:

i like to think that jet is probably queer in some way he for sure seems like the type of guy to kiss girls and guys lmao, just get that vibe from him lol 🏳️‍🌈

i feel like jet is the type of guy to use he/him but secretly feels happy when someone uses they/them pronouns on him too. so probably he/they.

like i said with maddox, being neurodivergent or autistic probably runs in their family, and i believe he is also autistic.

Kourtney Greene:

i honestly feel like if kourtney didn't show interest in jet or howie throughout the season, i do think she would be give me lesbian vibes. however, i think she might be queer still possibly.

kourtney uses she/her pronouns. but she doesn't mind.

it was basically confirmed that kourtney has some type of anxiety, i do believe she could also be autistic maybe.

Miss Jenn:

miss jenn gives me heterosexual vibes, as much as i want to just say she gives me lgbtq vibes i just can't vibe with that idk why (someone prove me otherwise im curious on your thoughts, maybe i will rethink).

she/her pronouns.

she has anxiety for sure.

Mr Mazzara:

he is possibly queer in some way idk it just feels right?

he uses he/him

he definitely is autistic, you can't tell my otherwise.

Val:

i like to think she's sapphic in some way, i feel like maddox and her might have had a little thing at some point possibly. and if ashlyn didn't end up falling for maddox, i could get behind val and ashlyn possibly being together for a little. 🏳️‍🌈

she uses she/her pronouns

we didn't see a lot of her so i'm not sure if she has possible neurodivergent vibes (give me your thoughts).

Mack:

i think he's queer idk why but he gives that vibe.

he/him pronouns.

Lily:

idk why but i can see lily being a lesbian. or maybe bisexual idk 🏳️‍🌈

she/her pronouns.

Extra: i've noticed literally almost everyone i have a headcanon for is either queer, neurodivergent or both, but honestly lets be real it makes sense 😭

if anyone give their thoughts on this i can try and add on to some of this, i did miss a few characters but haven't seen enough to head canon them, but if anyone has any thoughts let me know lol.

i also noticed i don't really have any transgender, other gender headcanons for characters, so if you do i'd be happy to hear some. i just have no idea honestly so that's why i haven't given any lol.

might end up editing and adding on changing things if so.

#hsmtmts #lgbtq+#neurodivergent #headcanons #my headcanons

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internetmisfitsworld · 1 year

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"What if Perseus is Makarov's father??" I said, jokingly.

And so begins my quest of finding whether or not how logical this theory could be.

And well...

I don't think it's a joke anymore lmao.

It really is unsettling how truly similar they are.

In certain ways.

Before we begin, let's clarify something here.

Since AV de-aged reboot Makarov, this theory only make sense if you pair Perseus with the OG Makarov. Why? Because Perseus died of cancer in 1983.

Since we have yet to know how old is the new Makarov, I'm gonna assumed he's around Price's age. At least I hope so. Idk how I'm gonna feel if they decides to make him late 20s. He's gotta be born either in 1985 or younger than that. At least that's what he looks like. So, there's no way Perseus could be his father.

Now, the OG Makarov though......

Let's go through this points by points.

He was born in 1970. October 4th, to be precise (at least according to Soap's journal). There's no indication or mentioned siblings in his record. Parents or whatsoever. I have my own personal HC on this but that's another essay.

Perseus himself doesn't have any canon date of birth and place of birth. Let's assume he was born in, maybe, around the year of 1918. I was gonna go ahead and make him the same age as Adler (1937). But according to this modelling mugshot pose he pulls photo,

If he looks this scrumptious old during 1960, then he's gotta be at least 42 years old. That would make him 52 when baby Mak was born in 1970.

"Isn't he a little old to be a dad at that age?" Uhhh not really. Especially given his situation, my dude was constantly on the move busy doing spy shit all over the world. He was young, patriotic. So, perhaps domestic life wasn't exactly on his mind at the time being or just haven't found the one yet. My guess is, he found someone in 1968/1969 yada yada fall in love yada yada get married yada yada and boom baby Mak was born in 1970. Whether they settled for one kid or more, that's up to your interpretation.

Now, in terms of looks, I don't think they're exactly copy paste. We know that Mak has Heterochromia. Perseus had blue eyes and Makarov's mama must've had green eyes.

If we want to compare their pictures, let's start with in-game model.

Ehhh I'd say they score about 75-80% in terms of appearance alikeness. Big ass forehead? Check ✅️

Now, if you put Perseus real life model and Makarov MW3 model..

Yeah okay score about 95%. Especially the eyebrow scrunch thing.

Perseus was 6 ft'2. Our boi on the other hand was 5 ft'11. My dude did not inherit the tall genes unfortunately.

Perseus and Makarov both had comradeship with Imran Zakhaev.

Zakhaev looked up to Perseus, claiming him to be "a mentor, having played a part in radicalizing his attitude towards the West."

As for Makarov, we know how much he looked up to Zakhaev. He did took him in during the lowest point of his life and gave him a purpose. Something he lost when he was forced to discharge from the military. Zakhaev's protégé. Zakhaev's executioner.

However, Perseus and Mak share one common trait; their methods were frowned upon by Zakhaev.

"Imran, however, soon realized the danger of Perseus's ideas. Believing Perseus's actions would turn the world against the Soviet Union, he prevented Perseus from taking control of a facility in Verdansk, where a chemical agent called NOVA-4 was produced."

"While Zakhaev was grateful to Makarov for saving his life on the day of his assassination attempt, he also kept him in check, possibly due to the fear of Makarov's extreme methods and ambitions, which later proved correct."

It boggles my mind that Zakhaev have the patience to continously kept Makarov's in check for 15 years of their partnership. He's aware of how terrifyingly brutal he is and even though it clearly bothered him, he still kept him around.

This is one of the key points that makes me wonder if Makarov is not just a nobody that he picked off the underworld. Maybe him being Perseus's son is what drives Zakhaev to mentor him and stick with it till the end. Well, at least as long as he could control him. I had no doubt that if Makarov push Zakhaev too far and shows signs of being too out of control, he'll be dead way before Price could wrung his neck.

Speaking of methods,

"Perseus' true plan was to detonate all the American nukes across Europe and have the United States take the fall. Perseus wanted to rebuild Russia from the ashes."

"Makarov's scheme was to initiate the global conflict of World War III, and that was accomplished by massacring a Russian airport and making it look like the US was involved. Later on, he would attempt to nuke all of Europe for Russia to fully invade and rebuild from the ashes."

See the resemblance?

Their speech pattern really parallel each other;

Perseus: Today, we reshape the world.

Makarov: Today, we show the world our true strength.

Perseus: Our motherland is lead by cowards and weaklings.

Makarov: Now our country is run by squabbling lackeys and politicians who can hardly be called patriots.

Perseus: The superpowers will fall, victims of their own greed and corruption.

Makarov: The corrupt talk; while our brothers and sons spill their own blood.

Perseus: We will rebuild Greater Russia from the ashes.

Makarov: Russia will take all of Europe, even if it must stand upon a pile of ashes.

Perseus: They sleep soundly at night, knowing they put on a good parade - but they lack the will to do what must be done.

Makarov: Our enemies believe that they alone dictate the course of history, but all it takes is the will of a single man.

Perseus: The others, however, are still out there. I will finish them off if I have to.

Makarov: I will not rest until I have killed or captured the men who killed Imran Zakhaev.

Perseus: (to Bell) You remember my face don't you?

Makarov: (to Vorshevsky) You know who I am?

Perseus: But have no doubt. These are but temporary losses. We are just getting started, my friend.

Makarov: The road to our future begins here, my friend.

So in conclusion, it seems that the possibility of them being father and son is really plausible so far.

#vladimir makarov #call of duty vladimir makarov #cod makarov #mw vladimir makarov #modern warfare vladimir makarov #mw makarov #call of duty perseus #cod perseus #call of duty cold war #theory for fun don't get pissy about this #may or may not be serious about this #actually yk what i am serious about this

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stackslip · 1 year

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people went insane about the last two pages which, valid, i cackled out loud myself, but there's so many little details in this chapter that make my head spin, like:

nayuta getting her classmates to give her their desserts. that's so insanely petty i love this child i love that she's still very much the control devil and a little shit

the scale of the mass deaths and disappearances makes so much sense and it's gonna keep getting worse, and it's good to see how it affects everyone in society. so far we've mostly been seeing orphans who've lost their parents but kids themselves are just as likely to die, if not moreso!

asa's recurring dream.......... What Does This Mean

oh i'm losing my mind about this one. "report any persons inciting fear" could mean anything, from reporting wannabe doomsday prophets out of worry they'd increase the fear and thus the power of devils, to grifters, to an excuse to report and jail anybody who says anything about the government as "people inciting fear" lol

also yeah this is affecting the entire world. fun

I FUCKING KNEW HARUKA WAS GONNA BE A FIRE PUNCH SUN STAND-IN I KNEW IT. SUGAR WE ARE GOING DOWN SHIT IS GONNA BE SO AWFUL

watch the chainsaw man society get more and more powerful, watch as pochita's powers decrease, watch as eventually something happens to turn awe and adoration of chainsaw man into utter terror and thus increase his power

there's something really nasty about the talk show host inviting teenage haruka who's seen so many people die and is obviously so dedicated to chainsaw man in part because the world is so fucked up just to poke fun at him, like his classmates weren't murdered a couple of weeks ago.

i really, really like the use of mirrors here. genuinely

also fami's "you don't need to think"........ hmmmm the makima parallels are increasing

a world without evil.......... yeah they're gonna try to use pochita's powers to erase some things huh. we know yoshida talked about erasing death a while back huh

g-d i generally have absolutely no feelings on yoshida whatsoever except that he's fucking hilarious. hysterical even. gosh denji sure is good i plucked you out of class huh!!!!

he is certainly not beating the accusations either lmao

also denji losing his mind at public safety (bc no way this ain't public safety or a government org) putting their hands on nayuta......... emo

you know for all the jokes about yaoi it's definitely kinda chilling that denji would propose sexual favours in exchange for nayuta's safety. like idk if fujimoto is ever gonna explicitly state that denji is a csa survivor but it's hard for me to not think of this as another clue in that direction

only one week wait this time YIPPEE

#eli talks #csm #csm musings

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battampria · 8 months

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VAMPLITA'S EDITING EVENT

this is day 1 of @vamplita's event!!

da prompt was a character/theme which reminds me of my past self or and(?) current self

these look so half assed... 💀 i literally felt so sleepy editing him but anyways i spent like my entire school time tryna figure this out bc i just stare at some fictional guy and go "he's so me.." but heres some battampria lore + readsons why if youre interested :3 i hope it makes sense or smthn..... idk LMAO

first, i didnt read his backstory on the wiki bc i dont wanna get spoiled (im only on book 5) so i read his personality and was lowkey me back then. like yeah, id be a tryhard in school, but once id get home, i would go straight to my room and interact with no one whatsoever. i had no relationship bondage with any of my family members. not even my older and little sister... id only go out to either eat, pee, or ask my mom if she had any snacks in her closet. and obviously, my parents were concerned for me..

second, i was afraid that whatever i did, liked, or deeply enjoyed as a kid, id be made fun of. the internet is an amazing example. you could say something like "oh i love playing genshin impact! the gameplay and story is great!" and someone could reply with "genshin..? i mean its kinda trash and mid." or smthn more harsh. thats exactly how i feel with half of my interests. as a kid, and even today, i hide most of what i like in the real world. id even be scared to open up abt what i enjoy to people around me, especially school..

OKAY NO MORE SAPPY, LOSER TIME LOLL

#battampria #bats frosting #flutta flutta > <#VAMPLITA EVENT #bro i went on a whole RANT there LMAO MBMB #rentry #rentry graphics #rentry resources #carrd #carrd graphics #carrd resources #twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #idia shroud

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pasharuu · 1 year

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THIS IS THE FIRST PART.

idk why but i wanna show tumblr my aranara quests themed custom tarot deck lmao. i finished it in february but since i created this acc just recently, i gotta put it here now. im just really proud of this project and the fact that i actually finished it.

unfortunately tumblr will only allow me to add 10 pics per post, while there are 23 cards, so that kinda sucks. will have to separate em it seems. i'll also explain a little about my choices on these. so here we go, first ten.

0 the fool - "where the journey begins". i think its already a tradition to put some main figure on the fool card and so did i. glad i used his correct design for the card-

basically theres nothing to explain except for the monarch butterfly symbolism, which usually is a sign of a chosen. not like Arama is any "chosen" in a common sense, but i felt like adding this anyway. 6/10 nice Arama card.

I the magican - creation and manipulation. Aranimba got here for his exclusive sense of beauty and the will to create the beauty. he is an artist after all.

the story of the bg is kinda wonky. it was at release of 3.4 and due to my disappointment i made a pic where Aranimba points at that shiny cave northwest the mt. damavand with excitement. well, now its a boss enterance, but back then i had no clue, i made it literally at the release day lol. but it worked well on the bg of this card. i think you wouldnt guess it was that cave if i didnt tell, and that was done on purpose as well. 8/10 for backstory, and im proud of this card overall.

II the high priestess - waiting for the impulse from outside, confidence. first of all, the high priestess to me was always associated with some whimsy loud woman, and if you ask me, this is where Arapacati fits. however here she is depressively hugging a viparyas cuz she kicked her brothers a decade ago and now shes sad. what did i tell u about whimsy woman? 6/10, solid.

III the empress - the mother, fertility, the birth of a new. THIS IS WHERE WE STARTED, THE MAMA. no need to explain why i put Rukkhadevata here? 6/10, i struggled with this card cuz i hate drawing people, but it came out solid imo.

IV the emperor - the father, discipline, responsibility. to remind you, Araja is basically the one who runs the Vanarana dream realm, the tree of dreams. he is also here for a very simple reason because of being a big boss here, and looking like one as well. 7/10, nice mustache.

V the hierophant - attention to visible and invisible, search of the essence. if you ask me why i put Arapandu here, theres my answer - because he was the only major character who didnt have a card in the process of planning. i have some really vague explaination why exactly on hierophant, its mostly because of Varunastra actually, not Arapandu. i honestly dont have any emotional connection to Arapandu, he's kinda boring. 4/10.

VI the lovers - chosen by heart, determination and aspiration. ONLY BECAUSE OF SUCH INTERPRETATION. im against shipping aranara x anyone.

i think i wouldnt even make any better choice for this card whatsoever. they are here because they share dreams and aspirations and i really love their duet. 9/10 i teared.

VII the chariot - knowledge of the world, searching for the new. these goofy guys are here mostly because of "searching for the new", even though their methods were unsafe and archon knows what would happen to these dummies without any sense of self-preservation if we werent around. fact: they've been wondering for at least 4 years, but i love to say a decade. nay, theyre just very lucky. 5/10.

VIII justice - "play nice, and others will play nice with you". this is a card for Nara Varuna specifically and i decided to make both Lumine and Aether so that everyone will be satisfied. since Nara Varuna did nice in the past, all the aranara praise their name in the present.

the bg is again kinda symbolic. these are runes on Varuna contraption: "the water", when the rain pours, for Lumine, and "the sky", when its sunny, for Aether. i only hate how i made them so vague that theyre barely recognizable eh. but overall good cards, 6/10.

THATS ALL FOLKS.

for now. i bumped into images limit. gotta complete it in the next two posts!!!

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lonelyroommp3 · 6 months

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idk if the correlation is actually there or just in my head, but this whole "shaming people for wanting to read smut" thing feels related to this notion that reading is something you do to get smarter and more cultivated, instead of being a hobby that you do for fun. Both of these interpretations of reading can coexist of course, but the discourse™ appears to frequently lose sight of the fact that to many ppl, reading is a leisure activity that brings them joy. And if they like to get turned on while reading something .... Good for them??? I do not consider myself a smut reader and I personally like to challenge myself with the books I read, but there absolutely are phases where I will NOT read a book unless it has romance or sex in it, because that is simply what i am in the mood for. The intense pushback against "smut readers" that frames them as a stain on the intellectual reputation of reading or whatever honestly makes me wonder if the people doing said shaming even have fun while reading. Which is hyperbolic of course but idk. the focus on the label "reader" and what it communicates has had negative impact on book discussions and reading culture online i fear.

no you're exactly right! i think people focus so much on this concept of being a Reader and of literature as this uniquely intellectual medium that they forget it's just that - a medium for telling stories that can be of absolutely any genre, style, content, medium, or level of intellectualism or seriousness. like it doesn't suddenly become this great inherently holy thing just because it's words on a page. like, whatever, i'm sure many of these people do enjoy reading because it's pretty difficult to force your way through some denser classics + literary fiction unless you're deriving some amount of pleasure from it, but i think they enjoy the sense of superiority they get from it just as much, if not even more lmao.

(also yeah i can't get behind this sort of, reader's version of the bygone hipster v fandom blogger war going on between "serious literature" and "smut readers", whether people in the latter category are going for spicy booktok hits or fanfiction on wattpad/ao3. like i don't think it's actually a problem whatsoever if somebody only wants to read smut but i also think presenting this weird false dichotomy helps precisely no one. when it comes to booktok romance i actually keep coming back to that classic designation of "beach reads" and the awareness that label has of some types of book filling a very specific and helpful niche for when you just want to read something feel good to turn your brain off, without that meaning that you're completely incapable of reading or unwilling to read anything deeper. like that's what a lot of booktok romance is. they're beach reads. they have an important function in the literary ecosystem.)

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deathsbestgirl · 1 year

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okay it’s time i talk about LAZARUS. i just think this is a very underrated episode. cuz where fire showcases the differences between scully & phoebe green, lazarus does the opposite and broadcasts mulder’s & jack willis’s similarities — painting mulder as scully’s ~type~ and it makes me want to scream. it is SO aggressive. and while i think cc didn’t want the romance to overtake the show (he knew very well their relationship & chemistry were extremely important) the fact this episode made it through him & aired is no accident. (also team cc was in love with dd & ga and was just as into mulder & scully as any of us. but he’s stubborn & was too steadfast in not sexualizing ga/scully [mostly] or their relationship but i digress.)

the first scene actually kills me. her conversation with willis sounds so much like one she would have with mulder, and i’m not good at identifying straight flirting whatsoever (mulder & scully do NOT fall into that category lol)

i can feel them; i’m inside their heads.

just as long as you keep yours.

message received, agent scully. loud and clear.

THE WAY SHE LOOKS AT HIM. the way he says this is FLIRTING. and as serious as he can be about it. more him than her but i love it because it’s not about taking it anywhere. it’s the flirting of two people who used to date & know each other & still have a good friendship. like idk, it’s just so sweet. (and like the foreshadowing — as in obviously the whole case but later when mulder is listening to his tapes?? he already didn’t ~have~ his head. AND this is another reason i love this case, because at the end of the day, the viewer gets to decide what the “truth” was. because i think everything lines up for willis being in so deep & the trauma causing his erratic behavior OR it very well could have been dupre as mulder believes.)

what i love about scully is she dated this man, she cares for him, they have maintained some kind of friendship & professional relationship — and it doesn’t seem like she holds anything against him. like she genuinely still likes & cares for him and i love seeing “failed” relationships where there’s no animosity between them. they just. didn’t work out romantically and they accept each other as they are and ??? this actually is a little gay. but anyway. what i really wanted to say was how scully’s sincerity & genuine caring always blow me away. i love her.

SO when dupre shoots willis — scully shoots the man THREE TIMES. and the look on her face. she is absolutely enraged. it wasn’t merely professional. that was personal. (and it pales in comparison to what scully does for mulder but a little taste, showing it’s something consistent with the men in her life.)

[side note — i’ve watched this a million times and every time i was confused by dupre’s real face lmao every time i was like “who tf is this guy”]

[scully’s type: older, some authority over her, extremely intelligent, passionate, driven. who she greatly respects & typically respects her. workaholics. good hearts, tender souls. the three men we actually see fit this in their own ways but literallyyyyy jack & mulder are so similar it’s A Lot.]

i love that anytime scully walks into a medical setting, she acts like she owns the place and she does whatever she has to to override the actual doctors in charge. incredible.

i’m a doctor. go up to 400 or i’ll do it myself.

and i extra love this one because obviously she was assisting on this case to help her friend, but not working with mulder is already extremely wrong at this point (after squeeze) that she immediately brings mulder in as soon as she has a good excuse. incredible.

i love every exchange with mulder & scully in this episode because the way the butt heads over theories is just. THEM. and i’m sorry but scully’s make perfect sense & they fit and this coming on the heels of beyond the sea and “i’m afraid to believe” is really special. she’s most afraid to believe (i think?) when it’s close & personal. for her or for mulder. and we get to see the fear up close & personal this time around, and yeah, hidden behind some skepticism but i think this is the first time it’s obvious that it’s fear.

two men died in that crash room, scully. one man came back. the question is…which one?

sometimes it seems like mulder is being an ass, so obsessed with the paranormal & lacking empathy. but really, he only focuses on the paranormal & pushes his theories when he really thinks he’s right (which is a lot of the time, but he is willing to concede [thanks to sculy] when the evidence truly doesn’t line up). and it works because they both compartmentalize and scully needs that on a case like this.

[also, it seems unnatural for scully to call him willis. jack rolls off her tongue so intimately and it feels similar to mulder & scully using their last names. an intimacy for them, and a very private, special intimacy when they use each other’s first name. they don’t typically let anyone hear them say it. do you know what i mean? the way they make names so personal & intimate on this show is kinda wild to me. especially interesting in season two when mulder meets her family.]

the humor when they go see dr. varnes is top tier. he tells the story about the pilot (a truly horrible thing) and mulder just says “that’s a nice story” lmaoooo

(i also always want to know if the science is accurate. scully talking about near death experiences? what varnes says about the burst of energy? i know absolutely nothing about any science but god i wish that was a special interest of mine sometimes lol)

and my favoriteeeee part. scully telling mulder about willis.

…jack’s personality.

how well do you know him?

we dated for almost a year. he was my instructor at the academy.

the plot thickens.

[scully takes a second to decide on how to proceed — it’s so cute] we even had the same birthday. we used to celebrate in some dive in stafford that had a slanted pool table. but it was always so hard for jack to relax. it was impossible for him, really. he was always so intense, so relentlessly determined.

do you believe he’s predisposed to this type of psychotic episode?

i believe it’s a long way from saying jack had a near-death experience to saying his body’s been inhabited by warren dupre…a long way

like. we see mulder open up about his personal life, and they typically answer each other’s personal questions. but this conversation exposed so much. who is scully describing — jack or mulder? it’s just so good. also!! mulder’s little smile as she talks.

[willis showing up at lula’s brother’s place — jack would know about him]

when willis actually shows up at the scene as the investigative team is there — scully doesn’t seem surprised by jack’s behavior [her frustrated ~jack~ as he’s ranting about the case] and he listens to her about the medical evaluations. like yeah, dupre could have been a decent actor & good at reading the room but that moment looked a lot like the jack we saw in the first scene.

mulder playing his tricks, trying to get evidence for scully. and learning her birthday if he didn’t already know it. two birds, one stone. very mulder lol (see also: stakeout dates, weekend case dates, dinner & going over casefiles)

and their fingerprint evidence is gone…obviously jack had it. (tbh this whole thing reminds me of episodes in other cop shows where the investigator gets in too deep & “becomes” the perpetrator. happens later on the x files too, grotesque?) mulder is exasperated. because he’s trying so hard to speak her language — science & evidence. (but it isn’t anger or resentment!!!!!!)

and what’s so special about these two — scully is always listening to mulder even when she doesn’t agree or believe what he does. because she values him & what he has to say. she knows he’s a good investigator even if his theories are “out there” and he still finds important information & evidence that will lead to the truth / closing the case.

and SO she asks willis about the missing fingerprint, and she goes off with him to find lula. (he actually asks her, so was he already plotting to take her? and she goes despite being confused by his behavior at this point. not the same as her earlier concern for his well-being…)

the little bit of capable woman helping useless man in a typical couple way — willis doesn’t remember the address or name of the guy and she has to tell him. this is such a couple thing it kills me. also…has this not happened with mulder & scully at some point too? which is just funny because mulder’s memory is obnoxious. but he definitely absorbs information he ~cares~ about a lot better.

his dopey smile when he sees lula is a red flag FOR SURE. but i think scully can find it believable because of how long he’s been working the case, determined to catch them.

but god i hate this. because scully is so hurt by everything that happens next. this is a man she cares about deeply, taking her hostage, physically hurting her, being cruel. something i don’t believe jack ever did to her. and i think she doesn’t know what to believe, but she can’t believe it isn’t jack. that is terrifying because her chances of getting through to him, of escaping mostly unscathed, of surviving … greatly diminish. so through it all, she calls him jack, tries to remind him of who he is, talks about their relationship, uses her medical background to help him, etc etc.

and god. agent bruskin. i really like him. he starts to question mulder about his x time theories, and mulder is just. so great. “it doesn’t matter what i think. we’re still after the same thing.” and he keeps going along with mulder.

willis calling mulder from her phone…

let me talk to her

mulder?

dana, are you okay?

don’t…

dana?

one of the only times he uses her first name in front of someone. and only the second? time we see it. the first time being beyond the sea…

(okay wait the way she tries to convince him he’s jack — she starts with facts. his name, his address and then when he isn’t moved, she goes more personal. she’s so sad & scared when he presses the gun against her. and when she realizes he’s drinking soda, she plays into him being dupre just a little to try to save him.)

mulder !!! listening to willis’s tapes. “i feel myself getting into their heads and i’m scared by what i’m feeling. the intoxicating freedoms that comes from disconnecting action and consequence. theirs is a world where nothing matters but their own needs, their own impossible appetitive and while the pleasure they derive from acts of violence is clearly sexual, it also speaks to what warden jackson called their operatic devotion to each other. it’s a love affair i almost envy.” this whole thing — for one thing, i think it sheds so much light on why scully believes what she does. so at the very least, he’s understanding her perspective more. and i think he understands how willis could have gone too deep. we don’t ~really know what profiling & vcu we’re like for mulder, but i bet there are threads of it he empathizes with. i think mulder was able to do it without becoming it, his issues were something different, but i’m sure he witnessed at least one agent going over the edge.

i’ve talked about it before but i love mulder in this episode and how he operates once she’s missing & then confirmed willis has her. yes, he believes it’s dupre. but he slips back into his profiling & vcu days — more typical investigation, trying to play well with others, following protocol…and he is the one who finds what they need to find her & save her. and his emotional state is a stark difference to her season 2 abduction. he’s still frantic, but quietly. with his panic face.

you listen to me — you lay one hand on scully, and so help me god

literally the number of times they say “scully” in such a short conversation — her name carrie’s so much meaning. he will do ANYTHING to get her back. and i think that’s why he falls back on what’s reliable in these cases. he’s so good at this. his golden boy days and i LIVE for when we get to see this mulder. i wish it happened more. because he’s a damn good agent. and he can follow the rules. but the rules aren’t always helpful and that’s how he ended up on the x files. yes, his sister. but also because he’s willing to go as far as it takes to help the people the world’s forgotten about & buried.

bruskin defending mulder to the other agents !!!! yes, good man. as mulder deserves.

for those of you who don’t know already, this one’s important to me. so, uh, let’s do it right. thanks.

literally his panic face is steadfastly in place the entire time she’s gone. if you don’t know him, you don’t know this. but i think bruskin has picked up on it and he *does his damn job*

the relief, the glimmer of happiness scully gets as jack starts coming back to her…the way he falls unconscious and she ~sees~ dupre taking hold. PAIN just so much pain. “no, no”

but they’ve found her, they’re so close when jack grabs the gun from lula. and scully desperately wants to stop jack murdering this woman.

as soon as mulder sees dupre & lula aren’t a threat, he goes to scully. and she’s honestly traumatized…

now this last scene. he brings her jack’s watch, a gift she gave him. she tells him more about jack. she doesn’t know what to tell the kid jack was a big brother to…

what am i supposed to tell myself?

good night.

it’s not working. it stopped: at 6:47.

the exact time that hack went into cardiac arrest at the hospital.

what does that mean?

it means…it means whatever you want it to mean. good night.

i’m not sure if i interpret this differently than others — because yeah, i think mulder is disappointed she doesn’t believe when it seems so obvious to him, and after “jack” took her hostage, how could she not believe — but i think mulder remembers their conversation in beyond the sea. he knows this isn’t the time to push her, she’s grieving and struggling. but at the same time, he can’t be the person she leans on. he can’t help her with this. so he does the only thing he can and let’s her know it’s okay to believe what she wants to believe. this was personal to her. and while believing in beyond the sea was a small comfort, the idea she could hear one last message from her father, this is a very different case. believing the fantastic wouldn’t be any comfort except that maybe it wasn’t jack causing her pain. but the idea that she lost him in that er, that she didn’t even come close to saving him — that completely shakes her foundation. he saw her anguish over this loss firsthand.

i honestly don’t know if mulder saw the similarities between him & willis, but i find it hard to believe he didn’t. and seeing what this man did to her (like emotionally) is probably a lot to swallow.

SO i love this episode. i think this one of the best cases of ~you decide who was right. you decide what the truth is~

but no matter what, there is no way mulder resents scully for not believing his theory. he is kind & thoughtful, he knows she’s afraid. he isn’t trying to force his beliefs on her. they are both trying to find the truth & prove it. that’s their nature, that’s their work, that’s their relationship. and it works because they both bring the necessary pieces to do it.

#txf txt #mulder and scully #msr #dana scully #the x files #lazarus

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