#idk man consistency is my enemy i’m just doing whatever

[codgod]

itty bitty mariiiii

[platinum-iridium]

My first watch, Serena was one of my faves because someone (who I now suspect is an enemy…) told me something really gay was instore so I assumed there were hidden layers lmao. Plus I think I was also just so over Abbie I was relieved by the time she came around but watching now the lack of consistency is super irritating. The other second chairs definitely get a lot more. But I wouldn’t mind her coming back and working with Nolan though I guess she’d be above him now? Idk how lawyers work but seeing her be firm in whatever her beliefs are would be cool. Maybe they can give her a wife. Think I stopped around her lesbian reveal because it was so worthless lmao. I remember some DA(?) being found in a trunk? By then the show was background noise while I did homework so idek what the plot was. Don’t think it’s the Connie era but it could be. I don’t really wanna rewatch after s12 but are there any stand out Connie eps in your opinion ? I’m curious now since you like her so much lol

serena is more fun to watch if you look for hidden messages but deadass there's one episode you could choose to believe is foreshadowing and that's about it. that and the fact that there's absolutely not a hint of flirting with jack. i don't really like serena but a lot of that is because the writers just dgaf about really making her a good character. i will say, once they sort of settle in with the conservative DA, i think her character gets better because they have a built in ideological enemy and she doesn't have to fill that role anymore.

i don't know if i posted much about it but i really liked claire and jamie the second time around. i don't think either of them made a big impact on me the first time because i didn't find them relatable yet, but now as a career woman it's different. that's the case with van buren too now that i'm a manager of white men @ work. certain shit just hits different with more life experience. like claire's whole thing for older men was viscerally offputting to me when i first watched and the thing with jamie's ex husband was utterly unrelatable but their character arcs have grown on me with age. lowkey i need a whole post about that because claire was damn near a baby and they need to send jack to the hague. she was grown but jack really should have kept his hands to himself. he's the epitome of the "feminist" man. like just watching her slowly open her eyes to who he really was and slowly develop the ick was honestly great. wish we got resolution on that. serena as a defense attorney or a project innocence type would make a lot of sense. i have mixed feelings about how they brought jamie back. i was glad to see her but if they weren't going to do her justice they could have left it on the playground tbh. she always struggled with real person ethics vs lawyer ethics and i guess i'm glad they were consistent about that but it just didn't hit to me. it doesn't make sense to me that she would still be in the DAs office tbh just given her character arc.

also the DA that died (borgia) was a waste of a plot point. i really like connie but without actually watching it again idk why. somehow i found her kind of relatable but idk if she's particularly well written because i do remember them treating her like a very pretty lamp a lot of the time. honestly i went back and watched an episode i enjoyed with mike and connie (the one where you find out mike never got his bachelor's) and i can't in good conscience recommend that episode bc it's not that great. the twist was good but the writing was just trash. chile i had to go back to make sure i had at least one good episode to show. season 18 episode 16 "strike" is an excellent episode that features her prominently. also after rewatching it i like her because i relate to her a lot. i wish the writers let her come out of mike's shadow more but when she did, just damn.

[pomegranates-and-blood]

Μῦθος (Vοσταλγία Winter Blurb)

νοσταλγία Masterlist

Μῦθος (mûthos): tale, legend, myth (Ancient Greek)

Pairing: Ivar/Reader

Summary: Winter Blurb #10. A little fluff with Aghi (Valdís’ son) and the Reader facing that she really wants some babies of her own.

Word Count: 2282

Warnings: I don’t think so, just the usual and my writing.

A/N: I’m sorry for my absence, I just don’t have the energy anymore, idk. I’ll try my best to get stuff done more consistently, but I can’t make any promises. Thank you for your patience 😘

You walk into the main hall quickly, hurrying to get rid of the cold that seems to cling to your body even past all the layers of clothing, your eyes already searching for Ivar.

You find Aghi first, sitting in front of your husband with his back straight, attention on whatever Ivar is telling him. You notice with a tug of emotion in your chest that the boy is sitting straight, elbows resting on the table just like Ivar’s, as if to imitate him.

“But Sigrún knew that he was not worthy of her hand, so she rode to find Helgi so he could…” Ivar’s eyes lift to you as you approach, and you motion for him to continue on as you get closer to Aghi, who has his back turned to you. Ivar returns his attention to the boy, gesturing with his arm as he continues, expressively relaying an old story, “Could fight against Granmarr and his sons for h-…”

You interrupt the story by reaching for the boy, lifting him up and laughing at his startled little shrieks.

“What are you doing here, eh?” You ask, dodging a sharp movement of the boy’s head before pressing a kiss over his tousled blond hair. His shriek quickly turns to laughter, and you find yourself squeezing him in a quick embrace, before you move to sit down. Perching him on your lap as you sit on the bench he was in, you meet Ivar’s gaze and prompt, “I was told you were looking for me.”

He takes a moment longer than you expected to reply, long enough that you pay attention to his expression, to the soft smile that curves at his lips even if he hides his mouth behind the hand he casually holds up to it.

There’s something in his eyes, a strange intensity, an edge you know to be longing but you cannot understand what for.

“Yes, I was. You certainly took your time,” He replies finally, gaze seemingly reluctant to leave your own, but finally it does, looking at the boy. Ivar’s smile widens, brightens in a way that makes him all the more…approachable, human. You had never seen him smile like that. “But I found someone that kept me company. Isn’t that right, little man?”

Aghi answers with a toothy smile, nods his head with a proud jut of his head that makes your heart warm.

“Lord Ivar was telling me about Helgi,” Aghi tells you, big eyes with the same color as Valdis’ but lacking the burden the cruelty of the years and of men have done to the shine of that pale grey. “Do you know him?”

“I know of him, yes,” You lift your gaze to Ivar, prompting, “All the battles he fought. You know, Aghi, even in my homeland we hear of his battles for the maiden Sigrún.”

That is a lie, you only know of such tales, and vaguely at that, because of Sieghild and her insistence on raising you as familiar to her home as to yours. You have always wondered if it was not a means for her to keep her home alive and with her, if that insistence was born out of a need to have someone to see the world as she did, even if partly.

And so you listen as you did when your mother sat before you and spoke of her land and her legends, as you will again, when it is your children he tells these stories to; as Ivar relays the tale of Helgi and his Sigrún.

Your heart grows light with joy at the sound of Aghi’s laughter when Ivar tells him of the trading of insults between the brother of the hero and his enemy’s own brother, but it grows heavy with something else, a welcome weight, as you watch Ivar chuckle alongside the boy, breathed and young laugh that seems to startle him as it makes its way past his lips.

You find your lips curved into a foolish, lovesick smile as he gestures with his hands, his already expressive nature all the greater as he tells Aghi of how Sigrún’s brother was given a spear by Odin himself, and who was slain with it.

His pale blue eyes lift to you, and he gestures with his head.

“You know this part,” He prompts, “You like stories of love and tragic endings, after all.”

You meet Aghi’s big eyes and take a breath, telling him of how one night a girl saw a man riding into Helgi’s barrow, and the night of their reunion and all the time of their separation that came after.

“But they met again, when the Gods bid them to return to live another life,” You turn to your husband, finding him looking at you with that strange look again. “Isn’t that right?”

Ivar nods, leaning back on his seat, and says nothing.

Aghi keeps his attention on you, and with an adorably confused expression, he prompts, “Why do you like sad stories?”

“Huh? I don’t, I…I like love stories, they just happen to often have sad endings.”

“Why?”

“It makes them easier to tell, easier to remember.”

“Don’t you want the endings to be happy?”

“That is not the way they usually are, and we must accept that.”

“Mama says you haven’t accepted anything in your l-…”

“No, no, Aghi,” You interrupt, furrowing your lips to hide the smile that threatens to break past your resolve at the sound of Ivar’s muttered and how right she is. “You must never repeat the things your mother says about me.”

“She says that about the things you say about her,” He shrugs, seemingly frustrated with adults and their confusing ways. You chuckle to yourself, pressing another kiss to his hair. “Can I ask you something? About your Gods?”

“Of course, little one.” You reply, a hand smoothing over his ruffled hair. Too late you realize you’ve used the term of endearment your mother has always used on you.

“What are Keres?” He asks, and you turn your gaze to your husband for a moment, suspicion starting to take a hold of you. Ivar only smiles, motioning with his hand as to signal you better answer.

You settle Aghi better on your lap, and explain,

“They are daughters of Nyx, sisters to the Fates. They take the souls of the slain in battle to Hades,” Without turning your head, you lift a hand towards Ivar, “Don’t say it.”

“They sound like Valkyries.” It is Aghi who argues instead, a little hurriedly, uttering the words you tried keeping your husband from saying. Your eyes narrow, and you hesitate before saying anything.

The boy looks at you with big eyes, but they betray a mischievous edge to them, and his expression quickly crumbles into delighted glee at whatever he finds in your expression.

With an innocent giggle that makes you smile against your will, Aghi gives away the intention behind his question, and who told him about Keres in the first place.

“He is right, is he not?” Ivar presses, an equally mischievous small laugh leaving his lips, and you watch him offer the boy a wink when Aghi turns to look at him.

“Why do I have a feeling someone has already told you about Keres before me?” You ask Aghi, pressing your finger to the tip of his nose when he smiles, “What has he told you of them, little one?”

“That they go to battlefields, to choose from the slain to take with them, like Valkyries.”

“He asked if you tell me stories too, I told him one you’ve told me before,” Ivar supplies, and though something tugs at your heart about that, you haven’t forgotten he has set up Aghi against you.

One of the first tales of your homeland that you shared with Ivar, back in that hut in Aneridge, when he was just a Viking and you just a Priestess, was of the Keres, ruthless and avenging spirits of violent death. And, just as he does now, with the support of Aghi apparently, he insisted they were just Valkyries of a different name.

Furrowing your mouth to hide a smile, you insist,

“They are not the same.”

“But they have the same task.” The boy insists.

You reach again to smoothen his hair, but it is just like Valdís’, and for the life of you there is no way you can easily tame it.

“Mhm. Just like the Norns and the Moirai.”

“So they are the same too?”

You shake your head with a chuckle, “No.”

But at the same time Ivar insists,

“Yes,” Your husband’s smile widens when Aghi turns to him, clearly more interested in his perspective. With a gesture of his hand, he states, “The Greeks just like changing the name of things.”

Pressing your lips together at the sound of Aghi’s laughter, you turn to your husband, “Ivar.”

“Yes, my love?”

“Stop it,” You roll your eyes at his answering chuckle, but keep your attention on the young boy, explaining, “They have many things in common, but they are not the same.”

There’s the smallest of furrows between his brows that make him so strikingly similar to his mother in that moment.

“But if they’re not the same, who will come for you when you get killed?”

“When?” Ivar repeats, a chuckle choking his attempt to drink from his goblet.

“I will not die anytime soon, much less in battle,” You assure the boy, lifting your brows expectantly as you continue, “You promised you would one day go fight across the sea, and you would put white sails on your boats so I would know you are safe, remember?”

“Like Theseus.”

“Like Theseus,” You confirm, nodding your head. “That is still many years ahead, but I plan to live to see it. You have nothing to worry about, little one.”

You know you haven’t answered his question, and to be honest the reason is that you do not have an answer.

Perhaps you do, and you just do not like that answer. Many times you have had to wonder what will happen to all the people you have loved and the people that have loved you when the Underworld summons you home, people of different Gods and different ways, different Fates.

Many of the people you have come to love are meant to go somewhere you cannot wish to follow when the time comes for death to claim them, and that is not something that is easy for you to accept, or even think about.

“We will meet again, I know this,” Galla tells you, and you can hear the marching feet of the Byzantine soldiers that approach Eleusis in the tremble of her warm voice. “I shall spend my life seeking to impress the Gods so I can join you in the Elysian Fields, my friend.”

As Hiereia of the Dread Gods, there is nothing you ought to want more than to join them in the Underworld and claim your place in the Fortunate Isles. As Daughter of Athens and Sparta, as a Greek by the blood that runs through your veins, you know you will join your ancestors in the afterlife when the time comes and there’s a part of you older than yourself that longs for that day to come.

“I have many people I wish to see again. My sister, my father and mother, and many friends the years took from me,” Sieghild tells you, green eyes focused on the flickering flames. “Yet I-…your Gods and mine cannot be friends, little one, and I must fight to earn Valhalla knowing my only daughter won’t ever join me in it.”

As daughter to a Viking shieldmaiden, you have heard of this place she speaks of, this afterlife of drinking and fighting and celebrating, and a part of you has always been intrigued by it. As wife to a Viking man, by the ring on your finger and the promises you have made, you cannot help but wish you will be joined by your descendants and his, and if it has to be in the afterlife of strange Gods the sacrifice seems worth it.

You bring yourself back to the present, turning your attention back to the man you married as he tells Aghi of an adventurer far greater than Theseus could ever be, and you feel warmth in your chest at the challenge in the curve of Ivar’s smile when he relays a story trying to overshadow the one you have told before of Theseus and his journey. And you wonder if it is wrong to hope, even if you cannot yet believe, that it is all the same albeit with a different name, that your Gods and his are one and the same and whatever differences there are between them are just something lost in translation.

Because it doesn’t seem fitting, to think of these two words so far apart from one another.

Not when you have Greek blood in your veins and yet have had a Viking ring dipped in blood placed on your finger, not when the heart that was given life in Greece belongs to someone that has never even stepped foot in it.

Not when your children will one day inherit a space between two worlds, between his and yours, for both in blood and in belief your children will be as Greek as they will be Viking.

It doesn’t seem fitting to think of those two worlds as apart from one another any longer, not any more fitting that it is for you to think of your future apart from Kattegat and your past from Eleusis.

____ ____ ____

Thank you for reading! I’m sorry if this isn’t very good, it just wouldn’t leave my head so I figured I’d post it, hope it was alright

Taglist: @youbloodymadgenius​ @heavenly1927​ @toe-vind-ek-jou @xbellaxcarolinax​ @angelofthorr​ @samsationalwilson​ @peachyboneless​ @1950schick​ @punkrocknpearls @ietss​ @itsmysticalmystery​ @revolution-starter​​ @the-a-word-2214​ @fae-sedai​ @crazybunnyladysworld​   @funmadnessandbadassvikings @stupiddarkkside​​ @aprilivar​​ @msrawog @kaitieskidmore1​​​ @berryonasummerevening​​  

[solcheeky]

our secret

summary: fratboy!donghyuck turns paperboy! when he needs some extra money for college stuff like textbooks. he thinks delivering way outside of campus will save face from being a measly paperboy, but little does he know, the front yard light he hits (and breaks) belongs to his significantly well off classmate... (3k)

warnings: strong language here and there genre: enemies to ..friends? a/n: I’ve merged these two requests together! meaning I have and haven’t included aspects of each, hope that’s okay! (2021 edit: hi I found this in my drafts from last year and idk why I never posted it so yeah, here we go)

“You’re late.” Your professor calls out as Donghyuck fails to sneak into lecture hall unnoticed

You sigh, you’d think he’d at least look ashamed to step foot into class at such a late time

You suppose with Lee Donghyuck, things were always different

The boy winces comically, inhaling between his teeth brazenly, and students stifle their laughter

Then with a simple raise of his hand, he gestures a flimsy ‘my bad’ and a ‘continue, continue’ before charmingly wiping the sweat off his brow and sitting in the empty seat saved by his friends

The professor frowns, “you’re late.” He repeats as if to encourage the young rebel to at least say something

“I’m Haechan,” the rebel says under his breath, flopping his backpack onto the desk, “not ‘late’” a sarcastic smile stretching his lips as his friends snicker at his dumb joke

You roll your eyes, he was unbelievable.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough.” The professor claps his hands. “And Mr. Late,” he emphasizes, “don’t think you’re getting away with anything.”

So he drops it on him like a bomb: “For the rest of this week, meet me in the office an hour before classes start.”

The grin on Donghyuck’s face immediately wipes off his face and his heart drops to his stomach

“Prof!” He whines back

Karma, you think. That’s what he gets for being so up his own ass

It wouldn’t kill him to wake up a little bit earlier. He relied so much on his ‘so loveable’ personality and popularity, you couldn’t stand it

If you even attempted to do half the things he got away with, you’d be expelled by now

You drop your pen and lean back into your seat with a sigh, you had no choice but to sit back and watch him waste valuable lesson time over this insolence

“You can’t do that!” Seriously, Donghyuck would do anything else other than doing extra hours in the morning

“And you can’t be late to my lectures all the time. What are you not getting here Mr. Late?”

“But I can’t.” Donghyuck immediately regrets saying that out loud like that; the vulnerability in his voice a little too close to home

“And, why not?” Your professor bounces back thankfully brushing past the genuine desperation in his students voice

The reason why not was something ‘Lee Haechan’ couldn’t say out loud. If he did, he’d lose everything

So instead, he sticks with his usual tongue-in-cheek mannerism, “because I don’t want to.”—A sneaky beat around the bush on his part because, little did everyone know, Lee Haechan, the star player and everyone’s favorite goofball, was a measly paperboy

Why?

Because he was dumb broke.

It was a job that required him waking up extra early to race around neighborhoods on his bike, something he had to do regardless rain or sun just tossing as many papers onto people's front porches,

Something he already was finding so much of a difficulty doing: racing to class and acting as if his muscles weren’t burning or the fabric under is backpack wasn’t drenched in sweat

But now this ‘meet me in the office an hour earlier than classes start’ bullshit

That would mean he’d have to wake up even earlier than he already did!

“Doesn’t matter if you don’t want to, you’re going to.” Is the last thing your professor says on that topic before swiftly moving on.

Oh to be born with a silver spoon in his mouth, is what he always thinks as he cycles his rounds in the wealthy neighborhood

If there was one thing he didn’t have, it was this. 

He looks at the blaringly affluent homes that surrounded him and heaves another sigh, the same road he rides every morning (and now this extra early morning) effortlessly reminding him of how absolutely poor his ass was

Grumbling under his breath in a tantrum about his professor in his head, he angrily hurls newspapers onto doorsteps

It was the fact that he had to deal with this at ungodly hours in the morning—as if this job wasn’t already enough

Donghyuck frustratedly hurls another newspaper, but this time around, it shoots straight into someone's front garden post light, knocking it over and completely disrupting the perfect order in which the other trail of foot lights were set in

What the heck?

Immediately, he hits the breaks, his tires screeching loudly in the quietness of the early morning

Profanities frantically leave his lips as he hurriedly drops his bike onto the sidewalk in a clatter, and runs ahead to see the damage he’s made

The lamp was perfectly struck to its side.

Well, that’s just great—he can’t afford college textbooks let alone the broken path lamp on some rich persons lawn

So, his first thoughts are to pull it back into the place, completely irrational, but it’s the only thing that runs through his mind when he’s on a time crunch to get off private property

Except, the damn thing is stuck; literally cemented into this lopsided tilt

Man, Donghyuck swears he could tug all day and it wouldn’t get back into place

It was like the universe was having fun being against him

You, on the other hand, were watching this boy struggle to fix your light back into place from the comfort of your window.

He looked ridiculously cute trying to tug that lamp back into place, curled almost into a ball in the middle of your lawn, his eyebrows sewn into a line of frustration and lips pursed

You knew he was your paperboy from the start of his laborious cycling trips, but did Donghyuck know he was delivering papers to his very own classmate every morning?

You guess not.

...Until now

You knock three times from behind the glass, successfully capturing the boy's attention before mouthing, “what are you doing?”

The agitation on his features drops and immediately his eyes widen at your familiar face

Except, he isn’t given much time to reply before the lamp between his fingers gives in to his weight and recoils back smacking him right in the nose

“Holy shit!” You forget you’re only in socks when you open your front door and race towards him

Donghyuck automatically drops the (now broken) piece of your lawn to cup his bruising face

“Ah- Fucking shit- Ow!” He bends forwards on his knees into the grass, forehead pressing into your lawn before he rocks back up again to scrunch a deep frown up towards the sky. “Jesus-”

“Are you okay?!” Dropping to your knees, you place a cautious hand to his back

“Yes.” He groans into his palms, rocking back down towards the grass again

He definitely wasn’t.

But he needed to get out of there quick; there’s no way he’d let you recognize him

Yeah, you weren’t that stupid.

“Let me see,” you carefully bring him up by his shoulders, your head leaning down towards his to see the damage

“No- Ow! Crap-”

“You’re bleeding!” You try to pry at his wrists but he rips away from your hands

That’s when Donghyuck finally looks up to scowl at you; a frown stitched hard into into his forehead, eyes watering, hair all ruffled, but most alarmingly—a scarlet ribbon of blood running down his wrists

“I’m okay.” He muffles into his hands.

And wow did he look like an idiot.

“Sorry about your-” 

“Jesus Hyuck, you’re not fooling anyone.”

The boy visibly stiffens at your choice of his name

“Haechan.” You quickly correct yourself

He gulps

You glance away

“Let’s just put an ice-pack on that.” Then you’re dragging him into your house

“Quit moving!” You dab a wet cloth across the cut above Donghyuck’s lip

“Well, it hurts.” He tries to complain without moving his mouth too much

You purse your lips and Donghyuck attempts to adjust the ice pack on his nose despite your warning

With a sigh, you take his wrist and bring his arm down to his lap, “Hyuck, if you keep-” you feel him stiffen under your touch. “Haechan.” You keep doing that. “Sorry.”

He just diverts his eyes elsewhere and mumbles, “It’s whatever.” under his breath

So, you bring your attention back to cleaning his cut, your cheeks heating up at the thought of how much of a creep you probably were by calling him by his old name

“I’m-”

“Y/n.” His voice was a little clearer this time, a soft frown on his face, “I remember.”

He kind of wished you didn’t though. This was so embarrassing.

You pull the cloth away from his reddening cheeks, that annoyed flustered look on his face pulling at the nostalgia in you

It was only natural to call him ‘Hyuck’ because you had been going to the same school as him for years

Ever since you were kids, through highschool and now somehow, still impossibly in college, you’ve been with him

You almost had every class with the loud idiot back when he was still ‘Donghyuck’

For as long as you could remember, he had always been the center of gravity in every class, his punchy personality and almost too friendly way of speaking easily giving him the ‘popular’ tag 

It made you have a bit of a crush on him when you were younger, but who didn’t? 

Now, you found him irritating. 

The only thought you had about him consisted of wishing he’d stop using his status to his advantage and just come to class right instead of wasting your lesson time

“Can I ask you something?” He dodges your hand for a second, eyes looking down as if to hide away his embarrassment 

“Sure,” you naturally reach forward again to dab his cut, but he stops you at the wrist

“Can you,” you lift your focus away from his lip to the slight grimace on his face, “not tell anyone about this?”

You blink at him, and a muscle works in his jaw

“Seriously, people can’t know about this.” 

But you simply pull your wrist out of his grip and go back to tending to his wound

You hadn’t told anyone since you’d found he was your paperboy, and that was weeks ago. So why was he so worked up?

Hadn’t the situation already called for it anyway? Who in their right mind would tell anyone after this? For you, it was obviously common courtesy

But before you can reply, he tilts his face into your line of vision. “Are you listening to me?” The frown on his face deepens and he instantly brings the ice pack in this hand over his face at the sudden pain through his nose

That attitude of his easily drove you crazy.

“That was a stupid question.” You give up on cleaning the blood on his lip and push the ice-pack deeper into his face, “if you used that stupid, egotistical brain of yours-”

“Ah! Ow- Ooow-”

“Maybe you’d realize I’ve never told anyone about your paper rounds before.”

“Ow!” He wrenches away from your frustrated grip, the look on his face just as annoyed as you. “You’re going to break my nose!” 

“You broke my yard lamp!”

He looks at you with a huff; a slight puff to his reddened cheeks, furrowed brows and tears ever so slightly brimming his eyes

If that lamp didn’t cost about five times the price of his bike he’d say something back.

You easily read that off his expression

“You don’t have to pay for it.” You start to pack up the first-aid kit you’d opened up on your coffee table just to not look at him in the eyes when you say that

As much as he irritated you, you weren’t that petty

“Really?” The genuine doubt in his face relaxing the annoyance in you a little

“Yeah.” Money wasn’t a problem for you, it was his attitude

But the casualness Donghyuck catches in your tone reminds him of the starkly different worlds you live in

So he musters it up within himself to at least show some kind of gratitude, “...Thanks.” 

And it’s almost inaudible when he says it under his breath like that

But you catch it as you pull a bandaid out of the box before you close it

“On one condition.” You turn to look at him dead in the eyes.

One of his brows slightly quirk up in interest

“Hand.”

He opens his palm to you and you purposely slap the bandaid into it.

“Stop coming late to class, you’re wasting everyone's time.”

Instantly, his jaw goes slack. 

Unable to say anything he stares as you rise from your seat in content, first aid kit in hand, before walking behind the sofa towards the kitchen

You didn’t have to say it like that.

He swings an elbow over the back of the couch, “Sorry for bringing you the paper every morning!” Maybe he was a little offended

You turn on your heels to face him, noticing the bandaid now crushed in the fist of the hand he had over the couch and ice-pack abandoned on the coffee table (the full glory of his bruising nose and cut lip on show)

“I said ‘don’t be late’ not ‘don’t bring me the paper’.” Then you disappear into the kitchen.

Donghyuck has to close his eyes for a second, exhaling a frustrated sigh before standing up in a huff and following your footsteps.

How could you say something so insensitive? Yeah, maybe he broke your lamp or whatever, but he tried to fix it!

And sure, he was sort of bleeding over your couch and used your ice pack, but he totally said thanks

“That’s just- You’re so,” He’s standing at the doorway by the time you’re done, bandaid still stuck in the frustrated grip of his hand

“So what, Hyuck?”

Seeing the all star, team favorite class clown crumble at the simple play of his old nickname made something in your stirr

“Insufferable.” 

You? Your lips turn up in amusement. He was the insufferable one, you almost scoff

“You and your big house, fancy first aid kit, stupid lamps on your lawn,” he takes a bold step forward at every reason until he’s one step to being chest to chest, “I’m just trying to do my job, and go to class.”

You look at him straight in the eyes. “Well, you’re hardly succeeding at either of those.”  

You...

Donghyuck runs his tongue across his inner cheek before biting down on his bottom lip in a brazen attempt to act unfazed by that fatal side comment

A coppery, metal taste pricks his tongue, and he realizes he’s reopened up the cut on his lip again

But that was the least of his worries. You had no idea what it was like being broke. If there was anything he didn’t have, it was everything you did. You probably couldn’t even fathom the type of shit he’s had to go through and even more so: hide.

The way you acted as if his biggest problem in life was as easy as brushing the dust of his shoulder just pissed him off.

“Have you ever thought of waking up earlier?” 

Ah, there it was again, Donghyuck wants to roll his eyes

“I sleep late.” He says dryly.

“Then sleep earlier.”

“I have other shit to do, like study.” 

“Then, manage your time better.” If he really wanted to ‘do his job’ and ‘get to class’, he could’ve done it by now.

He was always messing about with friends and organizing parties, stories spread around like wildfire on campus about the things he occupied himself with other than ‘having shit to do like studying’, you weren’t stupid

It was by the end of high school, when you began to see him as a person who valued himself with the amount of friends knew or the amount of partying he did

And at first you were mad that he had the things you never did, but seeing him easily get washed up by it all made you think maybe you didn’t need what he had

Now you figure his ego was so far up his ass he couldn’t even sit right—that’s probably why he couldn’t cycle to class on time

“And don’t use your bike, you’re clearly slow on it.” You tack on.

“I don’t even have a car!” He snaps back

He made you want to pull out your own hair. “Jeez, first this, then that, god Hyuck, you keep-”

“You say that as if it were so easy,” his words overlapping yours as you continue

“-making up so much bullshit because the only thing you really put effort into is your image,” Your words running over his too.

“-if I could get a car, don’t you think I’d have one already?”

“Then I’ll just take you!” That puts both of you to a stop.

“So, quit giving me stupid excuses to ruin my lectures every day.” If the things money could buy were what he needed, you had it

You snatch the bandaid out of his fist, rip it open and harshly stick it across his bottom lip. It was annoying to see him ignore it like that.

“You usually finish an hour before class right?” You frown up at him

Donghyuck opens his mouth then closes it again.

“Because if you reroute and make me the last house, I’ll take you with me by car.”

“What?” He manages to say. What the hell just happened?

a/n: okay so there was a lot more to the story and character development but it ran too long I had to cut it off bc I cba to edit lmao 

also I seemed to have gone way out of the request lines near the end my bad my bad, but I at least hope you’ve enjoyed it! thoughts???? a part 2?

[bard-llama]

The Taint of the Common Man (Meve/Reynard/Gascon)

Okay, so I finally tried to play Thronebreaker again and it turned out that my comptuer/steam/whatever had actually kept my save!!! So I didn’t have to start over, which was good, because the beginning was kinda boring, which is why it took me so long to continue. But it’s also kinda bad, because now I do not remember anything about Gascon’s introduction beyond “they fought, Meve won and threatened to hang him next time”. Which like... I could probably make it work, but knowing the details seems important for writing Meve’s feelings and reactions to Gascon. 

Anyway, this is a continuation of the thoughts that this lovely post inspired, and because I’m me, those thoughts grew a plot. Both the link and the rest of the story involve a VERY dubcon/noncon premise, so please engage only if you can. Also, spoilers for Chapter 1 of Thronebreaker (aka major plot things that happen once you reach Lyria’s capital).

Okay, once again: HUGE WARNING for Dubcon/Noncon stuff. Like, it’s how the story starts and it’s gonna be something dealt with through the whole story. My idea is basically a story that starts with Meve losing EVERYTHING, and then, through her quest to reclaim her throne, she learns how to be a better queen to ALL of her people, not just the noblemen. End game is intended to be Meve/Reynard/Gascon, but tbh, idk how they get there. Like, at first, Meve and Reynard hate Gascon A LOT, so they have to learn to love him and that takes time.

I’m kinda still learning about these characters as I think this through, so apologies if you find them ooc or if I contradict canon (without meaning to. Sometimes i do it gladly lol)

So we start with Meve returning to the Lyrian castle, only to find that her son and the Council of Peers (read: ruling council that advises the monarch and consists entirely of peerage aka nobility) have betrayed her and surrendered to Nilfgaard. She’s thrown in a dungeon and though her son orders that she is not to be harmed, she knows enough about reality to know they’d never let her live. 

She’s on guard, waiting for the guards to come and kill her - only when footsteps approach, it’s not the guards at all, but the fucking Duke of Dogs, the leader of the Strays of Spalla, a gang of bandits that plague merchant caravans and noblemen alike. Gascon, the proclaimed Duke of Dogs, opens the cell door and steps in and tells Meve that he’s freeing her, because the Council of Peers used him and his men and he can’t abide betrayal. But there’s one condition - Meve has to ask him, all nice and polite-like.

Meve, of course, refuses, because she’s nothing if not prideful. So Gascon closes the cell door and leans back against it and says something like, “guess we won’t be leaving, then. Unless, of course, you’d prefer to do something else on your knees,” or some sort of implication like that that makes it clear he’s suggesting that she blow him in exchange for release. And Meve is furious and her pride cuts at her, but dammit, she has no hope of freeing Lyria from Nilfgaard’s grasp while stuck in here. So she goes to her knees. And Gascon is surprised - from his view, she could’ve just begged him??? - but like... the QUEEN is on her KNEES for HIM, a (decidedly un)common bandit who she’d threatened to hang not a week prior. 

Also, I think there’s also a part of Gascon that blames Meve for the massacre of his family. According to the wiki, the year before King Reginald (Meve’s husband) died, Gascon’s family revolted against the king and were soundly squashed, with Gascon at a mere 8 years old the only one to survive. From there, he fell in with the Strays of Spalla and eventually became their leader. Remember this bit, ‘cause I’m definitely gonna come back to it. But anyway, Gascon doesn’t like Meve. He’s doing this because it’s the right thing to do and a little because having the queen indebted to him feels awfully good. Also, Meve is good with her mouth.

So good, in fact, that she drives him crazy, taking him to the edge and teasing him and teasing him and teasing him until his legs are shaking and the cell door is all that’s holding him up. I don’t think he actually begs, because his men are around the cell watching this, but he has to bite his lip hard to keep from doing so.

For Meve, there are many complicated feelings happening. On the one hand, this is humiliating and degrading and it’s shameful that she’s fallen so far as to be forced to service a fucking bandit and even worse that his men are SEEING this happen.

On the other hand... look, Meve was widowed 8 years ago. Somewhere in there (or before?), she comes to love and trust Reynard - who her husband, upon his deathbed, told her that he alone could be trusted. But she hasn’t made a move, because it wouldn’t be appropriate and she doesn’t want to ruin things between them. 

Point is, it’s been 8 years since she’s had sex and she has had cause to desire some sex. Queens can probably get amazing sex toys, but like, an actual cock? it’s been AGES since she’s been able to play with one and she kind of missed it. 

Additionally, in an effort to combat her shame and humiliation, she decides to flip the script on them. Gascon wants her to blow him? Fine, she’ll blow him so well that he utterly falls apart. And maybe she’s a little of practice, but Gascon is young anyway, he probably doesn’t even know better lmao. (But later, she’s oddly grateful that she had this chance for ‘practice’ before it actually mattered)

Eventually, she lets Gascon come - or maybe he uses his grip on her hair to pull her onto him? (She may decide to make it a good blowjob, but that doesn’t mean he’s earned deepthroating) - and the Strays, who have gone from hooting and hollering over the queen’s humiliation to flushed and aroused at the skillful way she destroyed their boss, let them out of the cell. 

Next, they go to the city jail to release Reynard, who was arrested as soon as the coup happened because everyone knows that Reynard’s loyalty to the crown is absolute. Reynard is sitting against the wall and he smiles brightly at the sight of her, so Meve strides into the cell to unshackle him. So of course Gascon, who now stands in front of the door once more, suggests something like, “such faithful loyalty deserves ample reward, does it not?”

And Meve is conflicted. Because AGAIN, the Strays of Spalla are watching them and Gascon is trying elicit sexual favours from her. But also, it’s Reynard. She’s wondered for so long what Reynard’s cock would be like and how he would treat her. And, she justifies to herself, she was already forced to give a piece of filth like Gascon a blowjob. Reynard most certainly deserved better.

So she orders him to stand and goes to her knees and is almost eager to get him in her mouth. And Reynard is caught entirely off guard here, because he was ready to skewer Gascon for the mere suggestion, and then she’s ACTUALLY DOING IT!!! And it’s not like she’s alone in having thought about it, but he always assumed that he would be the one on his knees. So for her to do so... he’s awed and a little horrified that he is party to degrading his queen in this way. And also aroused. REALLY fucking aroused, because Meve is on her knees for him! And unlike Gascon, he has earned deepthroating. Fortunately, he’s already leaning against the wall, so he doesn’t collapse. 

If Gascon hadn’t had the most intense orgasm of his life like 10 minutes previously, he’d definitely try to see if he could join in, even though they really don’t have the time for that sort of thing. But suffice it to say, Gascon remembers each and every moment Meve spent on her knees vividly.

Reynard comes (and Gascon is reluctantly pleased to have a companion in the wait-you-want-me-to-fight-after-how-hard-I-came!? club) and they all leave the dungeons - and get found by a patrol of guards. They have to fight their way out and Meve thinks Gascon managed to slip away - right up until he comes to their aid with his whole crew. With Gascon’s help, their motley crew flees the capital of Lyria (largely by traveling thru the sewers).

That night, they set up camp somewhere and instead of the royal supplies she’s used to, all they have is whatever the Strays of Spalla had, which means stolen and/or threadbare, ‘cause they’re not exactly living the high life. And Meve knows she should get some rest, but she can’t stop thinking about what happened in the prison(s) and she decides that, as long as Reynard was willing, why shouldn’t she pursue the man she loved? 

So she goes to the mess tent and it’s predictably full of drunken soldiers - well, drunken warriors. This rabble didn’t deserve to be called soldiers - and clusters of people playing dice and cards. She spots Reynard at one of the card tables - but sitting across from him is none other than the motherfucking Duke of Dogs. Half-formed plans to kiss Reynard drown under the flood of fury she feels and she summons Reynard to her, ignoring Gascon, who definitely tries to flirt with her. At this moment, she has VERY conflicted feelings about Gascon and most of them are negative. But also, they need him. She is very much aware that his men are the only reason she has any chance at all of taking back her home.

Anyway, Meve confronts Reynard, who explains that he doesn’t trust Gascon as far as he can throw him and whatever mischief Gascon is up to, whatever he thinks he can gain from helping them, Reynard is ready for the doublecross. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer is very much his philosophy, compounded by the way he has learned not to reveal - well, much at all. People probably find him very... is softspoken the word? Not like he speaks soft, but like, he doesn’t say a lot. He learned to keep his mouth shut after he managed to survive insulting the king, so he plays things pretty close to his chest and people find it hard to guess what he’s thinking. 

Gascon, for his part, is helping Meve because it’s the right thing to do (and a little because again, queen indebted to you? Very handy). He’s probably aware that Reynard doesn’t like him, even if Reynard acts friendly enough? Like, literally Reynard is so loyal to Meve that he was imprisoned and she was sure of his fealty. And Gascon has found ways to rationalize what he did i.e. raping Meve - she could’ve just begged! She had a choice! - but even though Reynard got a blowjob out of it, I’m sure Gascon would assume that Reynard would want him dead for the blowjob that he got.

I don’t precisely know what Reynard and Gascon’s relationship is like during this, tbh. I think it’ll be Meve’s POV, so she may have a limited view, but I think it’s definitely complicated. Made worse, of course, by both Meve and Reynard beginning to see the redeeming qualities in Gascon. But that comes later.

For now, Meve accepts Reynard’s explanation and knowing that he would do anything to protect her soothes some of the ruffled feathers from a very trying day. So she decides to subtly ask him something like, “come to my tent?” that like, isn’t blatant ‘cause they’re surrounded by drunk men, but also is pretty clear. And Reynard’s eyes widen and it hurts so much to do, but he tells her no. She’s had an intense fucking day - betrayed by her son and court, imprisoned, forced to give multiple blowjobs and work with lowly bandits and shit. Like, she’s been through a lot and he knows that she’s not able to be in her right mind. So he says no, part of him hoping that if she actually means it, she’ll try again in the morning.

But what Meve hears is no, not interested. Which makes this the third time today that she gets to be humiliated in front of the fucking Strays of Spalla, because not only is the man she loves rejecting her, but like... is he rejecting her because she’s tainted now? How is she supposed to interpret him enjoying a blowjob from her one hour and rejecting her advances the next? 

And the taint... I think that’ll be a theme in this fic (thus the title). Like, at the height of her power before the fall, Meve was “pure” - which in this case means firmly assured that she was right in everything, as she was always destined to be. There’s no questioning of the world order or if she’s qualified to lead. She simply knows that she is.

But now she’s been betrayed, her nobility and her title ripped from her grasp. And not only that, but she’s demeaned herself with a common thug! She even says it in the game - “look how far we’ve fallen, to be surrounded by peasants and deserters and bandits”. For her, this entire situation is almost like “being common” is reaching for her, trying to pull her in, and she wants to resist, because she’s always been taught that the nobles are BETTER than the common people. But as she works with her army of thugs and commoners, she starts to learn that poor people are people too (gee, who’da thunk it?)

That journey takes time, though, and we’re barely at the start of it! 

So, Meve gets rejected. She’s hurt and humiliated and at the moment doesn’t have a kind word for ANYBODY. She maybe cries herself to sleep and hates herself for being weak.

Then morning comes and she has her regular strategy meeting with Reynard, as she did every morning. And it’s awkward and Reynard is as silent as usual, always so deliberate about every word that leaves his mouth. And she wants to ask, but yesterday’s humiliation was enough. She can’t repeat it.

So even though they SHOULD’VE gotten together, they fail to, because Meve is stubborn and prideful and Reynard is closelipped and proper. And Meve kind of hates even the sight of Gascon, but since he IS the leader of the army that is currently only at her disposal because of him, she invites him to join the strategy meetings every morning. If Gascon helps provide a buffer between her and Reynard, so much the better.

Okay, I don’t actually know how everyone ACTUALLY gets together, BUT as they travel through the countryside of Lyria towards the Aedirnian border, a couple of important things happen.

1) Meve sees the real conditions of the people living in her realm. Even in areas that the lords had reported prosperous, people were starving and dying. She starts to learn that these are her people too.

2) Meve and Reynard get to know Gascon. Not just over their strategy meetings, but as they observe him and the Strays of Spalla they (Meve especially) begin to realize that their judgements were all wrong. Because yes, the Strays of Spalla are bandits. They steal from wealthy merchants and even wealthier nobles. That had always been enough to know before.

But now they come to know that that stolen food and blankets and supplies and coin went to the starving peasants in these lands. Hell, most of the Strays are from these areas. These are their people, even if Meve hasn’t figured out that they’re hers too.

Anyway, idk how they get together or how the story ends - is it with them getting together? Getting to Vengerberg to ask for help to reclaim their home? Ousting Villem and taking Lyria back? idk, I haven’t even gotten that far in the game yet lol.

So yeah, here’s a very long synopsis of a story that manages to have almost no porn and lots of angst, despite being inspired by a purely porny post lmao.

[floridabaiter]

the cornerstone of self-idolization and lack of self-preservation: our ex-twt stan + has a cc as a sibling rant

preface: my system joined mcyttwt a while back (i can't remember exact times due to personal reasons) and it genuinely contributed to the downfall and spiral of our mental health in the past year. especially from my perspective as a protecter alter, i saw the brunt of things that stressed us to the point of detriment. our sibling has half a million followers on some platforms (not mcyt) and we have seen firsthand through him how pressure from online can affect ccs. (we will not be speaking on his experience as they probably do not want us to publically.) also sorry if this is a little incoherent we had a seizure this morning- this is just to get everything off our chest.

DEHUMANIZATION + STANDARDS:

b4 i start here's the dictionary definition of dehumanization: "transitive verb. : to deprive (someone or something) of human qualities, personality, or dignity: such as. a : to subject (someone, such as a prisoner) to inhuman or degrading conditions or treatment "… you treat people with respect, you get respect back." + heres smth from brenebrown.com "Maiese defines dehumanization as “the psychological process of demonizing the enemy, making them seem less than human and hence not worthy of humane treatment.” Dehumanizing often starts with creating an enemy image."

the dehumanization of content creators on mcyttwt is disgusting. they are placed on pedestals and expected to walk on eggshells when creating their own content and writing THEIR OWN tweets and messages- they are expected to drop FRIENDS over what teenagers on twitter who don't know them personally thought of them. they were expected to respond to death-threats and criticism and harassment with a big smile and an apology for whatever they did. they are people who are not treated as people by stan twitter- they are treated as higher-than while simultaneously lesser-than when they are normal people who make mistakes. this is not okay. having interpersonal relationships + making mistakes & learning from them are basic parts of life that these content creators are being stripped of by twitter's cesspool of a community and it's so blatant and disgusting that they are faced with daily swarms of harassment for simply making mistakes + making friends + having lives while making content.

(side-note: another form of dehumanization is the fact that twitter consistently strips people of their privacy and private lives. cc or not you are expected to put everything about yourself out there [face included ie: selfie day] and that's blatantly unsafe for minors and adults alike. the way they dig into personal histories and pasts and relationships while simultaneously preaching "respect boundaries" is disgusting and deplorable.)

twitter's policy of "i stan this person, i like their content" while simultaneously harassing the ones that they claim to enjoy content from is confusing at best. it is detrimental to any cc's health. the villianization of ccs is fucking ridiculous.

WHITE SAVIORS:

coming from a poc person, twitter has a rampant disgusting problem with white saviors 👍🏼. i don't even need to get into it, everyones seen it and you all know. also i'm not even getting into how mcyttwt treats mexicans 👍🏼 i'm not your little maraca drug cartel "ayyy man" meow meow, emily.

white people on twitter: we are not your toy for activism. we are not yours to use to excuse your harassment of real people. fuck you. shut up. let us speak for ourselves and uplift our voices when we ask. (also stop with the "ugh 🙄 white people" shit. we're talking about you ❤️.)

PERFORMATIVE ACTIVISM:

twitter preaches to not be performaitve in lifting up voice and then is preformaitve.

there's countless threads that are out there just for clicks and likes (ie. "things not to say to a trans person" *states the most obvious shit like 'don't call them their agab'*) for fucking popularity. it's all the time, people chase clout under the guise of pretending to care about minorities. it's sickening, especially when they bring race or ethnicity into these threads for their ""activism"".

MISOGYNY:

twitter's gender bias is again, blatant.

female ccs will call out the same behaviors male ccs get praised for calling out and will get degraded and put down and have their name trending under "[name] neg //" for hours after the tweet is sent, they'll be harassed for days afterward and shamed. their bodies will be judged by fucking randoms who have no place saying anything (women aren't objects!). they get shit for the same thing male ccs do with no consequences. it's disgusting, it's blatant, and it's not being talked about or addressed.

PERSONAL AFFECTS:

it never allowed for enjoying content. it was contestant stressful pressure to keep up with every minute and miniscule detail of what a cc did, constantly choosing sides and never being allowed to speak outside of what the collective group on twitter thought. having an opinion other than "this is wrong and should be the downfall of this human person" was not allowed. there was an issue every day, we felt like we couldn't say we enjoyed anything without someone coming in our dms like "um.. did you know [insert something mildly problematic]... you should delete that post about liking them." and god forbid when "cc neg //" would trend because everyone couldn't maturely move on from something that wasn't a big deal. twitter has made my system SPLIT NEW ALTERS because of the stress and obligation we felt to keep up with every minute detail. (albeit we are polyfrag and prone to splitting, and our co-host at the time was an emotionally volatile dream introject during a very dream-critical time. that still doesn't excuse the toxic environment that caused the splits in the first place :|.)

what twitter does to people- especially ccs, is unsafe and unpleasant at best and traumatizing at worst. these people need to grow the up, put on their big boy pants and realize that not everything is about them.

all of this is off the top of my head too :| we've been waiting to rant about this since we got ON twitter. this doesn't even scratch the surface of the abelism and babying of ND ppl or people with disabilities + the other horrid shit that happens on that app.

tl;dr twitter touch fucking grass and do it FAST holy shit. please go outside and talk to people. get a job. read a book. do some math or something idk.

[softcallofdutyimagines]

How the cannon characters would react to my fannon versions of themselves

Ok, so I had an idea inspired by a convo with @smokeywhalee about cannon characters vs the fannon versions of those characters, and so I wrote this to explore the versions I write verses what it might be like if they met their cannon selves.

These are just my faves for this, since I write/enjoy writing for them the most, but I hope you all can enjoy!

Adler vs My Adler

Bro, Adler would probably shoot my Adler on sight lmao

I can't imagine he'd be very happy with the idea of a perfect clone of himself walking around

That, and the dad bod disturbes him

In all seriousness, I think Adler would give my Adler a chance and at least maybe try to talk with him

If he could somehow confirm that my Adler is indeed a perfect clone of himself, then I can gaurentee you it wouldn't be a very nice means of meeting up

Probably more like a black ops kid knapping tbh

Adler wants to know who sent my Adler and wtf is going on, while my Adler is (understandably) agitated and wants to get back home to Hilda (Bell 😌💖) because he knows she'll be worried

Of course, this would spark another conversation of a clone of Bell being alive in the world

This is of course completely unacceptable for Adler

While my Adler may be a bit more mellowed then regular Adler, he's every bit as tough and stubborn and would never give up Bell's location

All in all, things would end very badly

Like, possibly "fight to the death" badly

Adler sees an inferior version of himself who is a slave to his emotions rather then a solider loyal to his county

My Adler sees a government lapdog so deep and blinded in his own dogma that he's willing to kill anyone he's told to, including his Bell

Idk who would win that fight tbh

My Adler is a little more muscular and has a bit of a weight advantage, but cannon Adler is almost definitely more agile, so....

Best to just keep those two apart

Hudson vs My Hudson

Aw man, this would be the Adlers part two tbh

The only real difference is that my Hudson by and large shares cannon Hudson's average ish body type

They know the exact same stuff, they've been through the exact same stuff, the only difference is that my Hudson does not have a Jenny (he has you!!!)

That's negligible I think tho, so luckily you'd be safe

Hudson would certainly want my Hudson detained for interigation, just to see what's going on here

My Hudson would come willingly, on the condition that he can let you know he'll be away for a time first

I think Hudson would allow it, as long as it's from a secure, CIA line

After some time, my Hudson has been completely cooperative and everyone involved has come to the conclusion that he is indeed not a soviet spy

I'm sure there'd be some sort of security thing they'd have to do, considering you can't just have a man with Hudson's knowledge walking around freely

Maybe they'd try to hire him on lol

My Hudson would do it 10/10

Hudson probably would enjoy working with himself

Finally, someone competent

No, I think the only real thing he doesn't get is the head rubs obsession

It sounds nice, sure, but....

Hudson just can't imagine being that touchy feely

Lazar vs My Lazar

My Lazar would love nothing more then to be instant friends

Maybe chat a little, see what kind of stuff his other self does

Who can you trust if not yourself after all

Cannon Lazar could not disagree more

He's extremely suspicious and twice as freaked out of my Lazar

Probably would pull his gun on him tbh

My Lazar would be able to diffuse the situation at least and the two would try and make sense of what's going on

Lazar never lets his guard down, but he is willing to hear my Lazar out

The two don't become "friends" in the least by the end of it all, mich to my Lazars disappointment, but they would leave on neutral terms

Lazar probably assumes he had a weird hallucination or ate something that made him sick and forgets about the whole thing

My Lazar goes home to his S/O feeling a bit upset at being rejected by his own self

At least my Lazar gets cuddles

Cannon Lazar? I don't see him being very into that kind of physical affection

He seems more like a one night stand, make her breakfast in the morning, then move on type of guy

Definitely not interested in "cuddling"

Oh, and you can forget touching his stomach, even though he actually has abs... unlike my Lazar

Not on your life, my friend

Mason vs My Mason

Oof Mason would probably freak tf out if he met a perfect clone of himself

He'd probably assume that whatever the Russians did to him is acting up and causing this weird hallucination

My Mason understands completely though and tries to calm cannon Mason down

The two talk it out and eventually Mason realizes that there's nothing sinister going on here...

Just some weird ass shit

The two of them actually get along very well

It's kind of therapeutic in a way for cannon Mason to have a literal conversation with himself like this

They actually decide to stay in contact and hangout together more often

However, they do agree to keep each other secret

All hell would break loose in the CIA if they found out there were two Alex Masons walking around

My Mason teaches cannon Mason a little bit if what he's learned in therapy to deal with his anxiety and PTSD

It's a very beneficial and healthy friendship

Weaver vs My Weaver

Weaver is not at all interested in my Weaver lmao

He sees a pathetic, self pitying insult to himself, and my Weaver sees a callus tool who's afraid to open up

That does not go over well, and while the two might have a little old man fist fight if things go particularly bad...

I think they'd probably just agree to leave each other be at the end of the day

Cannon Weaver probably doesn't even report the phenomenon to anyone higher up, he just wants to let it go and do his current job

Meanwhile, my Weaver is pretty wounded by his doppelgangers words and spends the next while wondering if he really is as weak and spineless as he's been told

Luckily he at least has you to come home to and talk about it with

Cannon Weaver is another one where you can forget being touchy feely with him

Even if he did actually need a hug or something like that, you wouldn't catch him dead admitting it

... Perhaps his clone does have a point

Woods vs My Woods

Complete and utter MAYHEM

Woods would probably be pretty freaked out to see a copy of himself out and about

He'd have no problem approaching my Woods and seeing what's up though

Upon finding out that they are indeed the same person, the true trouble begins

Woods honestly doesn't care how my Woods came to be, what he does care about is figuring out what kind of stupid shit the two of them can get up to

Mostly that comes in the form of annoying and freaking out Mason

They both laugh at each other's jokes, but Woods wouldn't miss a chance to roast my Woods' dad bod

This is where the real difference is

Not so much in the physique, but in the personality

My Woods is actually pretty sensitive tbh, so I'm sure he'd get upset and pick a fight with cannon Woods just to shut him up

Which of course, cannon Woods would love

I mean, how often is he going to get the chance to try and kick his own ass?????

Once again, not sure who would win, but let's just say it wouldn't be pretty

Although, if I had to guess, I'd probably say cannon Woods

Only because I try to consistently portray my Woods as his physical age while cannon Woods is miraculously always spry and limber

Not very fair, but ok

Anyway things only would get worse if Woods found out my Woods has an S/O that fawns over him and such

Pretty sure Woods would puke on the spot just at the thought of letting someone "cuddle" him

They become enemies pretty fast and my Woods tries to avoid cannon Woods when he can

That guy's an asshole

[silksandcravats]

Viscount!Kylo Cheat sheet

Hi there! The purpose of this page is to:

Address story gaps and background that doesn’t make it into the pieces

Provide a very basic historical summary to make sure readers who don’t normally read stuff like this aren’t left in the dark

If you have any questions (plot or historical) that are not answered on here feel free to send them in! I will do my best to answer and add it to the list!

Historical bits:

*note* the viscount!kylo universe will 110% contain intentional and unintentional historical accuracies, so hopefully you’re not here for the history, but here’s the stuff that comes up in viscount!kylo au.

Terms to know:

The ton - An abbreviation of french “le bon ton”, not a typo for town lol. The very top of London’s high society largely consists of the nobility (those with titles from Duke to Baron) and their families. Very rich, very very very stiff society rules.

High in the instep - a wordy way of calling someone arrogant

Season - The social season ran from around February to the end of the summer, members of the ton all gather in London for activities like balls, picnics, promenades, teas, etc. etc. The main purpose of these events is matchmaking. Most young women have their first season at age 17, though some mamas allow their daughters to delay their debut a year. Seasons were very competitive and the mothers of debutants, in particular, took it very seriously. Ideally, young women marry in their first season, a second season is understandable, a third season is questionable, if you make it to season 4 or 5 you’re in trouble and everyone knows it.

Rake - a regency era fuckboy.

Debutant - Women who are “out” in society/taking part in seasons/looking for a husband.

Dowager - A widowed woman with a title.

WTF is a viscount?? - A member of the nobility. Technically, in line for the throne but mainly just a rich person with a title. Titles are passed down from firstborn male to firstborn male, second sons are backups, if no sons are had title goes on to closest male relative. Titles can’t get passed down to women, women can only get titles through marriage. The hierarchy of titles is as follows:

King (wife queen)

Prince (princess(?))

Duke (wife duchess)

Marquess (wife Marqueiness)

Earl (wife countess)

Viscount (wife viscountess)

Baron (wife baroness)

Dowry - A (usually grossly high) amount of money gifted to new grooms by the brides family, intended to cover taking care of wife throughout the marriage so the woman is not a financial burden. (no I’m not kidding😩).

Compromised - Okay so purity culture is in full swing in this fic because it’s the 1810s and sexism. But it’s not enough to be a virgin, women can’t: kiss men, be with men unchaperoned, talk to men too much, etc. etc. otherwise she will be “compromised”, take a massive social hit, and nobody will marry her. The only thing that can save a woman’s honour is if the man who compromises her marries her. (Why? idk).

Viscount!Kylo AU plotline Q & As.

What’s our backstory?

 Reader is the only child of a dead baron so our situation is PRECARIOUS AF. Barons are already pretty low on the social ladder and because our dad is dead (idc how he died feel free to insert your own theories), the title of baron has passed out of the family to some distant cousin. Our mother, the dowager barronness is left with whatever small fortune the dead baron left her with so we’re not rolling in it. It is super important that we marry well not only so that we are financially stable but also so that our mother is provided for as she ages.

We are now 20 years old, which is getting up there for a debutant, and we are in our third season so we gotta be smart. However, we for obvious reasons, don’t want to marry an insufferable asshole or a gross old man. (Kylo Ren is an insufferable asshole.)

So Kylo’s just a viscount? 

Yes, so technically Kylo’s title isn’t super impressive, however! Wealth and popularity (two things kylo inherited a lot of) are not necessarily synonymous with rank. Also Kylo’s super hot so obviously still plenty powerful and desirable

What’s Kylo’s backstory/Leia’s deal?

Leia Organa is the daughter of a long-standing dukedom. (For story purposes she was born an Organa she’s not adopted she was never a Skywalker). Her family line is well established, well respect and incredibly wealthy so there was never any need for her to marry for position, because of this she was encouraged to marry for love. She takes this to the extreme and falls in love with Han Solo who is a totally not acceptable match. However, they are totally in love and the Duke and the Duchess Organa really want the best for their daughter so using their connections and a dash of dishonesty the Organas are able to find an old forgotten Viscount line and bestow it upon Han. Han is a total charmer so it works and everyone loves him. He takes on the last name Ren in order to fit into the role and it technically becomes Leia’s last name too when she marries him and becomes Viscountess but Leia kinda resents it because that’s not who Han really is and she likes Organa because it was her given surname and it connects her back to her dukedom.

Han dies at some point shortly before our story takes place because it’s the early 1800s and people died young all the time and I needed Kylo to already hold his family’s title for plot purposes. 

Why don’t we know what sex is?

Because it is considered unproper for unmarried young ladies of the ton to know such things. Most women just get a super vague “talk” the night before their wedding.

Were Han and Leia bad parents?

NO! I know a lot of fics write them as bad parents for plot purposes and it’s debatably canon, but I couldn’t bear it, I just love them too much. Viscount!Kylo’s just an angsty cocky shit because it’s who he is. 🤠

Is this story inspired by Bridgerton?

YES! I’ve stolen bits and pieces from almost every book at this point, but I was primarily inspired by the second book, The Viscount Who Loved Me, (Anthony’s story), it’s enemies to lovers and I adore it with all of my heart.

[locria-writes]

Which high school tropes/cliches would MC, the ROs and any other characters you want to include (like Doradeira, Yunning, etc.) be in that High School AU?

i feel like as much as we love a good high school au, it’s probably super difficult to actually translate abea into it without everyone suddenly being uber creepy to poor mc (/‿＼✿)

mc

the new grade 12 transfer student who fits the ‘sick lonely rich kid’ trope

channels that “i’m so tired of everything pls let me graduate and move on with my life” vibe 1000% of the time, and is always so confused about everything like why is everyone so intense all the time????

childhood friends with lulu, and probably only really ever talks with him or ouren bc even though they’re weird, they’re a normal kind of weird. more or less adopted by doradeira as her new best friend tho, and azorius is just kinda,,,,,there??

doesn’t really fit into any ‘clique’, but bc she has friends in “high places” (lulu and doradeira), nobody really picks on her

either in art club (art focus), choir (charm focus), science olympiad (scholar focus), or archery club (war focus)

probably has a secret club of simps fawning after her that lulu fights off idk and she probably never gets it when he confesses to her lol

launcelin

the history teacher who’s waaay too overqualified for his position bc he has a phd in history, despite only being in his late twenties

super intense in class bc he gets really passionate about history lol. his tests and assignments are probably really hard, but he’s always willing to give extra help and extensions

disowned and disinherited by his dad, and has honestly never been happier -- especially since he took in ouren as a ward/adopted son, and now has most of his life together

has terrible taste in women and an awful dating history, so he’s just happy to be single and literally doesn’t get why so many of his female students (and some male) are so interested in his love life

supervises a bunch of weird and obscure clubs bc his students asked him to, and doesn’t really get any of it, but happily supports them

has a soft spot for mc since she’s his best friend’s little sister, and honestly, he identifies with her confused and tired energy

vezian

a grade 12 jock who’s also the heir to this massive business, and boy does he have the arrogance to show for it

has the exact personality you think -- arrogant, conceited, but surprisingly charismatic, and does have a soft side every now and then (mostly regarding doradeira)

has a very strange and vitriolic rivalry with lulu bc the latter beat him at the elections; super popular otherwise, and bc he isn’t totally disrespectful most of the time, liked by a lot of teachers too, except for launcelin bc he constantly fights with his older half-brother (despite the latter ignoring him most of the time)

totally still a manwhore who probably has a new gf every month or so, but at least he doesn’t do anything cheesy like the “omg one month anniversary!!!” so almost tolerable??

probably does all kinds of sport, but i’m gonna say lacrosse, since it’s just snobby enough, and violent enough for him. probably also a student council member and spends most of the meetings arguing with lulu

has a list of girls he wants to “date” before graduation, and unfortunately, mc is at the top of it

lu’anyu

the grade 12 hustler who’s literally in so many clubs it’s not even funny and half the school is convinced he sells drugs on the side

lives off of red bull and whatever scraps mc feeds him at lunch and everyone swears that he sustains himself off of stress

likes taking the piss out of vezian, but in a very eloquent and passive-aggressive way; very popular otherwise bc he has a princely demeanour, but is a surly old man at heart

has a lot of admirers, but everyone is too intimidated to ask him out, and are now convinced he’s dating mc anyway

thrives off of stress -- student council president, wrestling, archery, science olympiad, debate -- nobody knows how tf he does it, not even the teachers

heart eyes only for mc; keeps confessing to her, except he doesn’t do it in a straightforward way, so mc never gets it lol

ouren

the accidental heartbreaker of grade 12, but everyone loves him anyway bc he’s just too nice and sweet (plus, he’s a great ‘in’ to get to launcelin)

literally always has something nice to say (or just polite if it’s launcelin), and some people swear they see a beam of sunlight when he smiles

one of those ‘popular’ kids who has a lot of friends, but very few close ones. vibes a lot with mc, and surprisingly doradeira, and gets along weirdly with lulu

an unintentional heartbreaker bc he’s so suave and charming, but he’s never intentionally flirting, and always tries to gently turn down confessions

lives in the art room most of the time; always has paint smears on his uniform and hands, and mostly does landscape paintings

has a crush on mc and is so confused??? too afraid to confess, so he’s just happy to be friends with her

doradeira

for the sake of a consistent timeline, is vezian’s twin, and queen bee of the school (inadvertently; she just couldn’t stand the last one lol)

kind of a bitch, but the good kind? literally couldn’t care less about what other people think, kind of petty, stands by her own morals, and won’t compromise them ever

as a queen bee, she has to be popular, but she is just really well-liked in general? a bit too outspoken, but generally isn’t really mean or unnecessarily petty, and is undeniably a fun person to be around; adopts mc as her new best friend bc why not

would love to dip her toes into the dating scene, except vezian keeps scaring away any guy who so much as looks at her wrong. she’s not very amused

i wanna go full on cliche and say she’s a cheerleader, but she also kind of gives off drama kid vibes (except drama kids will never be popular rip)??

azorius

a pretty average grade 12 kid, nothing insane or weird about him really

is really normal? he’s mostly polite and kind of shy, but not overly so in any way

just kinda exists in the social hierarchy. he’s not super popular, not unpopular, just smack dab in the middle. has friends, but no one really close, and doesn’t really have any enemies either

hasn’t really dated much, and doesn’t really intend to. he’s satisfied with being single for the next while anyway

probably more on the sporty side, so wrestling maybe? lacrosse? not a star player, but definitely better than average

just kinda goes *heart eyes* at mc on first sight. major simp what can i say

[jonghoshoe]

Hearts Awakened, Love Afraid

Proofreading? idk her, I almost lost this entire fic I refuse to read through it all rn.

Summary: Seonghwa hasn't had a letter from Hongjoong in weeks, he finds out why.

Pairing: Seonghwa x Hongjoong, side Wooyoung x Yeosang

Word Count: I finally hit 3k words :)

Contains: I honestly don't know what to put. It starts okay but gets sad real fast, there’s death and mentions of blood, homophobia, references to suicide ig? Maybe a descent into madness too.

It’s fucking dark ok.

@mingi-ivity

Used lyric prompts from @taesblue . ‘’Can I trust you if I give you myself?’’ And ‘’Will you now forever remain out of reach of my arms?’’

-

It’s barely dawn when Seonghwa receives the letters, stacked up high and bound with a ribbon.  He recognises it as being from one of his shirts as a child, he and Hongjoong had play fought that day, and when it’d torn off he had insisted that he kept it, fabric still attached and fraying thanks to the expert seamstress. 

The collection of writings is passed to him by a masked man, an associate of Hongjoong apparently, he wouldn’t give his name but Seonghwa feels as if he’s seen him before once, when Hongjoong had brought him to a lovely garden as children, it was by a small house at the edge of the city. Hongjoong knew him supposedly, though the man was a teen at the time. Despite face now being covered. He’s almost positive it’s him. He’d told them his name back then, Seonghwa doesn’t remember what but it was something biblical. 

Seonghwa and the masked man don't exchange many words, the man simply confirming his relation to Hongjoong, saying that he had passed and had wanted these passed on to him.

It isn’t until the twilight of that day when Seonghwa finally has time to read the pile of letters, his royal duties taking up so much time of the day. And he can already feel his gut wrenching when he reads the note atop the pile.

If you’re reading these then something has happened and I have no use in keeping them. Maybe something has been revealed, I’ve gone missing or been killed, maybe I just finally needed to let things be known. Maybe my whole crew has been compromised. 

‘Seonghwa.

Throughout the years I've written many letters left unsent to you, sneaking me into your lessons has paid off after all. Had I been illiterate like most who are as unfortunate as me, you may have never kept in contact for so long. 

Please take the time to read my letters, I know most of it is inconsequential now, but I feel bad having never sent these.’

The handwriting is shaky, Seonghwa has seen Hongjoongs writing, as recently as just a few years ago, though it was rarely tidy, it was generally steady, he can’t help but worry for what state he must have been in while writing that.

He worries even more for what’s been left unsaid. Hongjoong had kept in touch with Seonghwa even after becoming a pirate and a fugitive, he was well liked in the city and seemed to make as many friends as enemies wherever he went, so he’d always found somebody to deliver the messages back to him.

It’s unfortunate they had to resort to letters, but after they’d both grown up a little more and were told the implications of their social statuses. They rarely had time to meet anymore. Seonghwa always gave his friend as much gold as he could when they met though, as a helping hand but also so Hongjoong could buy the stationary for writing his letters, which Seonghwa had encouraged he send.

The first letter is easily recognisable, Hongjoong had always signed his letters as a child with badly drawn stars, insisting they reminded him of Seonghwa.

They go pretty standard as far as letters go, nothing too surprising in the content of them, but Hongjoong had always been a perfectionist, and most of the letters compiled here are similar to ones he’s already received, likely first drafts. It’s cute that he kept these, the first draft is always less thought out than the edited final one, but for Hongjoong, who wears his heart on his sleeve, Seonghwa supposes these are rather embarrassing, none of his emotions held back as he scrawls whatever came to mind that he’d wanted to tell his friend. 

The letters begin to stray as he grows older though, Hongjoong must be in his late teens at the time of the first one.

‘Seonghwa!

Work today was so much more exciting than usual. I have a secret to keep! I obviously can’t send this to you because of that, but I’ve written to you so much that it’s easier to do that than write a diary entry.

You remember Wooyoung and Yeosang? They went on a date during our break today! But they told me I can’t tell anyone, Apparently boys aren't allowed to date eachother?

I think that’s unfair, They’re both so in love! I can’t imagine having to hide that from anyone! They’ve been together forever and can’t even say they love one another? It makes me sad, Imagine if you couldn't openly love anyone? What a depressing world that would be!

I don’t really have anything else to say, but I never knew boys could like boys! Can girls like girls too? Can you like both? I wonder if I’ll ever like a boy.

-Hongjoong’

Seonghwa chuckles at the letter, clearly it hadn’t been sent in case it had been lost and his friends were outed. Now he supposes Hongjoong sees no reason to hide the truth anymore.

The next letter is dated to a week after the event.

Apparently, there are no rules at sea, you can do and be whatever you want! That’s why there’s so many of them! San said he’d ask his friend about it next time he comes to town, so Wooyoung and Yeosang can love freely!

‘Seonghwa!

Today was awful, the boss caught Woo and Yeo holding hands and fired them! For holding hands! When we all met later for dinner together, San mentioned he knows a guy, a pirate!

That sounds so romantic and cheesy, leaving behind an uncaring world to sail the sea with you beloved. Sounds like the plot of a romance novel!

-Hongjoong’

I might go with them, apparently a life of piracy is the most free you can get, I’d like that. I think it’d be nice to not have to worry about everything I do here, about living, about working, about whether my friends will be okay.

I don’t know how I’d message you though, I doubt I can send letters from the sea!

Ah, so that’s what had spurred his life of piracy. He’d wanted freedom for himself and his friends. Seonghwa feels a little bad now, he’d berated Hongjoong for what he’d done when he first found out, calling him irresponsible for doing something like that.

Of course it was all in his head though, Hongjoong had already taken to the sea by the time he found out, and never stayed anywhere long enough for Seonghwa to send him a letter, he could only receive them.

The next letter is dated two days later.

He’s assured us we’ll be okay now though. Also! I learned that the pirate is the same guy we went to the garden with as kids! It almost seems like fate.

‘Seonghwa.

We had to leave in a hurry, I never knew that my friends love was illegal! They were going to be arrested and Sans pirate friend was at the docks so he let us board with him. We couldn’t prepare for this at all, I can only write this because I keep it my stationary in my bag at all times!

We’ll have to work here, a boat doesn’t take care of itself after all. Nor does a crew feed itself. But we’re assured we’ll be safe. He trusts we’d never do anything we aren’t supposed to so he and the older pirates said they’ll mentor us!

Gosh- I probably can’t send this, too much detail that others shouldn’t know. It happens a lot right? People try and intercept royal mail? I’ll need to rewrite this before I can send it to you. Make it less harmful for you if it gets out. Can’t have the public hating you for talking with a pirate now can we!

-Hongjoong’

That explains the rush then, why he was here one day and gone the next. Seonghwa wonders when Hongjoong had first been able to send his rewritten letter.

The letters continue for a while, mostly uneventful, they mostly consist of Hongjoong writing down his conflicting feelings regarding the position he’s found himself in. Seonghwa also learns the pirates name is Eden, he thinks that must be the man he saw today. Though why he is somehow still here when Hongjoong and his crew are, remains a mystery.

‘Seonghwa.

We were separated from Eden today, things went wrong and we ended up on opposite ends of the city we were in. We left as soon as we could. Eden said we should leave before him if anything like this is to happen. We have a rendezvous point. In case we’re separated. An island a long way North from here. Hopefully he’ll be okay.

I’ve been appointed leader now, it’s...weird. I never saw myself as being in a leadership position, he said I was most fit for it in his absence. I don’t see how, but I’ll have to live up to it now.

Is this how you feel, Seonghwa? Being in a position of power that you didn’t ask for? I can’t imagine royalty have much say in their succession to the throne.

You must have been crowned by now, It’s been years since I left. I wish I were able to say the real reason. I probably could by now, but I’ve kept it so long. I can’t even remember exactly what it was.

Our newest additions, Mingi and Jongho, have been a big help. They’re always a reliable shoulder to lean on in times like this. I might go visit them later, They’re good listeners. I don't know what lead them to this life, they’re both such kind people.

Though I suppose so were Wooyoung and Yeosang.

I don’t know if I’m ready for a leadership position, no matter how temporary. And if Eden doesn’t return...

I don’t want to think about that now. I’ll go above deck, maybe I can distract myself. Yunho is good at cards, maybe I’ll play with him for a bit.

I wonder if these diary-letters will ever see the light of day. If they do, I hope they’re only read by you Seonghwa.’

Hongjoong hadn't signed off the letter this time. Maybe he was so eager to distract himself that he forgot.

He relates to him, about the leadership thing. Seonghwa hadn’t at all wanted nor been prepared for taking on the throne. But he had to anyway after the passing of his parents, nobody else was eligible. The people will probably grow tired of him soon, he refuses to take a wife. And if he can't make an heir then he leaves nobody to ascend to the throne when he himself dies.

Good, it should be kept that way. Let him be the last one to be forced into this.

The next few letters are as expected, detailed accounts of what happened while they sailed to their destination. Mostly just Hongjoong getting used to leading everyone. Yeosang and Wooyoung were wed, apparently the captain is able to do that. It sounds like a lovely evening, even in Hongjoongs hungover description of it the following day. There’s a letter detailing their arrival to the island, and that strange things had been happening. It gets the most concerning about three days in though, as they tried to go inward to climb a small mountain there for the best vantage point.

‘Seonghwa.

We’re at the base of the mountain now. Everyone keeps joking that San should have no trouble climbing it. I can tell they’re on edge though.

We aren't alone here. I’m certain of it. We all feel as if someone is watching us. 

Things are out of place that shouldn’t be, or go missing, or we’ll think someone is there and then they’re not. There isn’t much in the way of living beings around us, so we can’t possibly chalk it all up to that.

I can't wait to get off this damn island. I don’t know what’s here and frankly I don’t want to. Whatever it is, as long as it doesn't follow us back onto the ship then we’ll be fine.

Hopefully we aren’t just all going paranoid.

I can find moments of peace in moments like tonight though. I’m up in a tree, impractical for writing, I know. But the leaves block out the sky.

I like watching the sky, the stars remind me of you. I wonder if you watch it too?

I don’t know what life I wanted, But now I’m sure this isn't it. I was so stupid as a child, if only I’d known about my feelings sooner.

I think I may be in love. With you.

This is so disjointed, maybe I’m going crazy after all.

It’s so stupid, I can never return now, I can’t leave my friends and by now we’re wanted in most places near our home, likely there too.

That’s what you get when you try to teach a bunch of kids to steal, we only didn’t get caught because we were so fast. We wanted freedom, and we were willing to run until our legs gave out beneath us to get it.

All I know now is this is not the life I want. It’s the one I've chosen, but it wasn’t a very thought out choice.

If I could fix things, I’d return to you, maybe confess my feelings. You were always so accepting weren't you? I’m sure even if they aren’t reciprocated, you’d never hate me for it. But I can’t return, not now. If could, Can I trust you if I give you myself? Would you hide me away from the world? So I could finally be with you?

Will you forever remain out of reach of my arms?

I would continue writing, but something is happening in the distance, it may be nothing, but I should wake everyone and check just in case. ‘

Yet again, it isn’t signed off. Seonghwa is worried, not even processing this letter before he moves onto the next one. It’s barely legible in words and writing.

‘ Seonghwa!!!

Its us its us itsus???

More us? They look like us

they arent us, we are us.

firefirefire so much fire

and smoke and mirrors

the sea? will I find them through the sea??

they came through mirrors??

where were the mirrors?

they have the answers

I should go

I need answers

they said they have them

what answers?

do I have questions?

bloodbloodblood

they were bleeding

are they real?

are they hurt?

theyre us are we hurt?

are we real?

I need answers

I have to go

through the mirror through the water through the sea

I need to go

will I come back?

maybe I can if I go

im sorry I cant give you all happiness

I wish I could give you freedom

if I get answers

I need answers

I need you

I need Seonghwa

I miss Seonghwa

I love Seonghwa

I want him iwanthimiwant

take me back take me back rewind it all

take me back to him

how?’

break the clock

bring me back

i want out

When Seonghwa finally reads the last letter, the writing is neat, but it isn’t Hongjoongs.

Seonghwa can’t bring himself to read the last letter, not after this.

Hongjoong loves him?

What does he mean by more of them?

Why is he only saying all of this now?

I don’t know what happened, Everyone is missing. I’ve searched all over the island and found nothing.

‘Seonghwa.

I’m sure you’ll recognise my name from Hongjoongs letters. I’m Eden.

I’m going to return to you and give you his letters, you deserve to have them. It’s the least I can do for the both of you.

I don’t know why I’m not being affected like they were.

I don’t know you, But Hongjoong talked about you often, I always wondered when he’d come to terms with his feelings, it seems that it was too late.

I can't give you anything to bury, but I found a piece of his shirt beside his letter, I don't know why it's bloodied, but you should have it more than I should.

I'll leave it in an envelope with the letters.

I’ll tie the stack with his ribbon, though I suppose it’s really yours. 

He never took it off in the entire time I met him.

I hope despite all of this, you can somehow carry on.

-Eden'

I won't stay long, I should return to the sea, I should warn people about the island.

I hope for your sake that our paths never have to cross again.

'Carry On'

Seonghwa doesn't know if he can. Doesn't know if he'll ever get over what he and Hongjoong could have been, ever get over the haunting words of his last letter, if he'll ever stop keeping that shredded piece of cloth in his pockets until it's nothing but threads.

Seonghwa doesn't know if he'll ever be able to carry on without Hongjoong.

He just wishes he knew where the island is. Wishes he could search for Hongjoong himself, he needs to see with his own eyes that he's not coming back.

Because he has to come back, there's so much they missed, so much they could have done, could have been.

He needs to know what happened, he needs to know what Hongjoong saw, what made him walk into the water to find answers, what took Hongjoong away from him. Seonghwa has been waiting all this time for Hongjoong to come back, for him to maybe change his appearance and return with a new name, to finally be able to see him again.

He needs his own answers now.

To talk with him, laugh with him, smile with him.

If he knew what he does now, to maybe even marry him.

Maybe he'll go down to the docks tomorrow, the sailors always love to chatter and gossip. if Eden is true to his word. Maybe Seonghwa can find that island, 

Find Hongjoong.

[lexicals]

Jfc I am BUZZING what a fucking episode. The first part of this is mostly screaming tbh

I love happy juno but also grumpy juno is my favourite welcome back

I love how firm peter is with him in stopping him from spiralling? It's good

Rita coming into her own!! Learning lessons!! Growing up!! Yes!!!

SO MUCH INFO THOUGH. Dark matters wants the crime family and they want them alive and they don't know anything about two of them but!! Which two!!

You'd presume nureyev is one but..... who knows ahh

This is gonna be mostly screaming I have no time for coherent thought rn

Juno being protective over rita godd

Juno comforting rita while she's panicking ;;

OH HEY FUCK THE NAME? I MEAN LIKE IT WAS ALWAYS A POSSIBILITY BUT RITAAAA

Me thinking no surely he wouldn't have just abandoned them and breathing a sigh of relief when he hadn't only for my boy to DO THIS?? ET TU PETER??

PETER

NUREYEV

DESERVES

TO

BE

BULLIED

I'm not serious but my guy had BETTER have a good reason for this. I would hope it's a long con of some kind or SOMETHING but PETER

Anyway if these people know his name idk if this is either 1. Blackmail or 2. Maybe he didn't get away from brahma all by himself after new kinshasa after all. Maybe he had help and it's finally come back to bite him in the ass. Who knows but I'm fucking 👀 PETER.

MISTER WHO

Also. Robot kisses 🥺

ALSO. Juno just. Picking him up and carrying him out of the room fhshdhdgs

MAMA BUDDY SO ANGRY THOUGH. I thought this would be the case but ooof

LESBIAN WEDDING TIME THOUGHHH Buddy and vespa inventing romance once AGAIN

I mean I'm sad they're retiring (although depending on what nureyev is doing here this "last job" could be UHHHHH DERAILED) but!! Yes!! Married!!

Knife girlfriend will finally be..... knife WIFE

Juno sniffling in the corner like ME TOO BITCH THE FUCK. Secretly a sap as usual though mr steel I love you

I can't remember other things I just. So much happened. I'm gonna need to listen again at least a few times here

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Oh FUCK also rita!! "When someone tells you what they want you to call them that's what you call them"!! Penumbra said trans rights once again thank you kabert and also ms jones. Bless

Not a second listen yet but more Thots:

Rly good episode...... and the robot kisses were very cute...... but I had this thought in pt. 1 and again this episode that I'm kinda bummed out that we've kinda just.... skipped over all the relationship development for juno & peter. Like on the one hand it's kind of unavoidable to miss stuff given the series format this time around but on the other it feels like 2 seasons of build up for something that.... just happened offscreen :/ Idk I was hoping for a first kiss back together or Something

On the one hand while it seems like nureyev is being a Snake™ I'm gonna hold back on actually saying he's gonna betray the crew bc he's been so consistently set up as the villain, going back to s1 when juno refused to trust him all the way through to shadows of the ship, and he's never actually proven himself untrustworthy a single time through that? Like, murderous mask has been the only time he's actually fucked anyone over for his own gain, and he went back on that one pretty quick

Plus the fact that he's only claiming to deliver the four items they need, not the curemother itself - it could be that he's planning to wait until after they've stolen the curemother when they no longer have a use for them, or at least I'd like to think so peter I'm fucking Watching You

Another thought: you know how else you might describe a debt? Something you owe to someone because, maybe, they have something of yours? A fucking ransommmmm

Also, why! Did! That! Bot! Not! Self! Destruct! Or at least not straight away. It's almost like someone wanted them to get away in the nick of time. There's a part of me that's wondering if the fact that dark matters is under mysterious new management and the fact that nureyev has made himself what seems like a very powerful enemy are linked, but we'll see. Either way I think someone definitely facilitated their escape, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was whoever is holding peter's debt, using the crew as a tool to get their hands on the four items they want and keeping nureyev as a source on their progress

Looking forward.... other people have said this as well, but I don't think nureyev is ever going to be cast as a villain here. At the very worst, he'll do something well-intentioned but kind of stupid, and it's gonna blow up in his face. Like, it's gonna hurt, but I think he'll come out of the other side better for whatever happens. Currently, my thoughts are on whether or not we'll see a repeat of new kinshasa - a high-stakes choice between someone dear to him, and the choice he feels he has to make, whether that's other people's lives again or something else. Idk, maybe not, I'm just thinking about the theming of the series with the past always coming back to haunt them, the fact that he's been said to be at a crossroads back in man in glass, and the part in tools of rust where the ruby gives jet the opportunity to make the same mistake he did fifteen years ago, and he chooses differently. Tbh as usual I'm just excited to see how things play out however that is

ACTUAL second listen this time:

Rita redacted I love you so much x3 combo. I missed this earlier but it needs to be said

Rita says she found nureyev's name by hacking into buddy's notes on him and comparing them to the outer rim criminal records which leads me to ask the question how much does buddy know? Why would rita be checking outer rim records unless something in buddy's notes pointed her in that direction? I've had my suspicions that she knows more than she's saying for a while but 👀

Nureyev sounds so nervous/scared too...... :(

I had this thought on the first listen but didn't write it down: nureyev is so goddamn smart, like so smart, I don't think he gets enough credit for that. Also him saying "one problem at a time, like [buddy] would say" was - oof. Considering how much time he spends referencing mag's advice in man in glass, even if he's bitter about it, I think that reference is very telling on how he thinks about her

Love the way he skirts around saying they have to move sneakily dhsgjf. Also "only twice" I do love him

Juno joking about his track record on not dying.... oh he's come a long way though

The way that nureyev talks to rita throughout them moving around - he's kind of a natural leader (which, ouch), but also it's clear that he has absolute confidence in her, he doesn't ever doubt for a second that she wouldn't be able to do something. It's obviously a little unempathetic when she's so shaken and doubting herself but also he clearly trusts her almost as much as if not as much as juno, and I do love to hear it

Detective falco? 👀

Juno looking on the bright side! Not blaming himself! Saying maybe it's gonna be okay and believing in her! I cry!

Except for when nureyev is in danger though ): I love that this story never shows recovery in a linear way, that juno is still inclined to beat himself up even if he is better than he used to be. He's growing but it's always gonna be a work in progress!

The fact that dark matters seems to be moving entirely towards remote operation now? Like it makes sense tactically, there's no risk of expending agents in a fight, I'm interested if the writers are gonna dig into that considering the real-world state of drone use in the military and law enforcement

Calling their heist marks "radicals", it seems like dark matters is trying to keep track of or maybe capture rogue (or radical) elements out in the universe - things like the knife and the key, which is probably why they were after m'tendere, they themselves being a radical element. I wonder if this is what brought the crew to their attention in the first place; it's definitely why they want to capture them alive at least, they want information out of them on why they're collecting the same marks

They specifically say two radicals though, and potentially a third, depending on whether the book is counted as the third that might mean they don't know about the map at all, maybe

I mentioned this another time but I'm wondering Again if dark matters was behind the mysterious disappearance of all the theia soul chips except for juno's, esp with what rita said about the interface for the bots being like theia tech - experimental tech like that would deffo be considered a radical element and they definitely could have used it as a basis for these new bots

Peter........ he's in a ROBOT stop being HORNY

"Galaxy-class criminals" huh.

Someone else pointed this out elsewhere idr who but buddy's line that sometimes helping people means trusting them to help themselves despite your concerns, when paired with what's going on with nureyev is.... interesting

WOW buddy is mad though

I'm REALLY wondering how much she knows about what's going on tbh, especially seeing as her pov is probably up next. Aaaaa I'm gonna be yelling for the next however many weeksss

Jet sounds so happy about the ruby being fixed aw

Vespa so nervous about making her announcement AW

Buddy sounds so HAPPY AW

Peter starts laughing right at the end when vespa starts threatening juno which,, oh boy ): I rly hope everything turns out okay ;;

Rita saying that sometimes trying to help someone in pain is being selfish because you just don't want to look at the hurt is a really interesting thing to come from her considering her long-standing relationship with juno, huh

“Before the year is out” is a very vague timeframe, once again thinking that nureyev’s plan may well be to only hand the items over once the heist is done

Anyway once again AAAAA

[olivcrfm]

hello! this is my stupid naive child with a heart of gold oliver !  i’m very excited to about him, so pls give me all of your affection & plots 🥺  i wrote like a whole novel under the cut because i had this man for like a year now, so please bare with me

chicago’s very own oliver park-davies has been spotted on madison avenue driving a maroon jeep wrangler , welcome ! your resemblance to charles melton is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty fourth birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re withdrawn, but being empathetic might help you . i think being a cancer explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be lazy mornings in bed, getting the job done at the last minute, & a soft voice  . ( i stole the test answers for my college finals to impress my parents ) & ( cis male & he/him) + ( hailey , 19 , she/her, cst)

— “ basics ! ’ 〉

full name. oliver park-davies.

nicknames. oli, ollie, park, davies obviously lmao.

age. twenty-four.

date of birth. june 26.

occupation. singer/songwriter.

sexual orientation. bisexual.

birthplace. new york.

zodiac. cancer.

spoken languages. fluent in too many languages thank you.

— “ backstory! ’ 〉

oliver park-davies was born in chicago to two extremely loving parents, and his seven other siblings of which he was the oldest, they were this gigantic loving family, and everybody wanted to be like them

okay well when i say loving i mean that’s how they appeared on the outside, his family was very broken, his parents constantly on the edge of divorce, him and his siblings didn’t get along at all, and in the park-davies house there was always something to argue about

the park-davies were billionaires, this was due to their extremely successful business endeavors, and knew when and where to invest their money they had enough money to buy whatever they wanted whenever they wanted, they never looked at the price tag, to quote ariana grande, “they want it, they got it.” their business headquarters is in texas! and oliver’s parents constantly just left him n his siblings in chicago while they went to texas

but he spent his summers their and it’s basically home away from home

his parents often tried to basically bribe their kids to love them because they were honestly the worst, they often emotionally abused their children, and neglected them, and the only time that their parents did want anything to do with them is when they needed to make a public appearance

was very much the rich kid that raised by nannies and butlers rather than his actual parents, and in a weird way he sorta became this surrogate parent for his siblings, he was the one they looked up to and came to for advice that sorta thing

oliver,,,just needed something anything to take his mind of it, so immediately he threw himself into studying and books, and to quote matilda, “the books gave him a comforting message...you are not alone.”

his parents ended up figuring out that their son was smart, like hella smart, by 10 he’d mastered latin, and by 11 he was already reading at college level

bUT despite being able to graduate college by 12 at the rate he was going he wanted as normal of a childhood as possible, and so he continued with his regular grade level, and tried his best to be ‘normal’

honestly his love of books got to the point that his room essentially turned into a small library of it’s own, it got to the point where his parents reluctantly gave him his own room to house all of his books

books weren’t the only thing that oliver found his passion for, when he enrolled in his school’s choir, he realized his love for singing

he wanted to share his music with people without having the recognition, so he uploaded a lot of his music to soundcloud under an alias ( vc: conan gray / cavetown i can’t decide yet lmao rip )

he gained a massive following, that not even he expected, which would seem like a great thing if he wasn’t expected by his parents to take on the family business

one day his parents sat him down and he saw it a good a time as ever to tell his parents about the success he hoped to gain from singing, his parents cut him off immediately and told him that his father was suffering from cancer

due to his revelation his parents ostracized him more than they did before, and slowly but surely he began to be iced out, no longer showing up in appearances, and just avoiding any press altogether

as his father got increasingly more sick, oliver began to realize the mistake that he made, and on his death bed oliver promised his father that he would do as both of his parents wished and take over the family business

oliver had the scores to get to any school that he wanted and decided on business school at columbia, where his father was an alumni, the agreement that he had with his mother was that once he graduated he’d begin shadowing his mother to learn to run the company

the school and the city itself was immediately overwhelming to my boy who came from not so humble beginnings in his small town, and he was unsure of where he belonged in this huge school

until!!!!! he found friends!!!! and they made him feel accepted!!! and it was great!!!!

once his friends heard his voice and of his dreams they encouraged him to join the university’s men’s choir, and was prompted by the director to join the university’s theatre department, where he appeared in a overwhelming majority of the school’s plays and musicals

he was discovered one night at this open mic thing he went to and it was great! he was signed to a record deal with a label! and my bby’s dreams were finally coming true!!!

lmao but the one condition that he did have for his label was that he had to graduate school first, and it was accepted

he graduated early! because of course he did only because he stole the test answers because his grades were sorta declining and finals were coming up sooo

his mom was expecting him to come back to texas and maintain the family business, but he pulled a whole uno reverse card, and ended up disappearing from whatever world it is that him mom lived in

he became pretty successful in the music industry, coming from this cool indie artist that only about a few hundred people knew about to this seemingly overnight sensation

my bb is still v e r y unused to the attention, mostly because his parents never gave it to him and he was like, adoration???? attention??? care??? what’s that

has recently started a band! consisting of people he met a columbia, so him, a guy friend, and olivia dkfsjdkj guy friend remains unnamed because it’s a wc

— “ personality / headcanons ! ’ 〉

is a huge dork that just loves to make people smile and when he sees people genuinely happy his heart melts a little bit inside

is very much the shoulder to cry on for people, and even if he doesn’t know you he’ll sit and listen to your whole life story and just try to cheer you up because that’s just in his nature?

has started his acting career! first it was just cute small little cameos in movies and tv shows, but now it’s turned into him getting his own show!!! he couldn’t be more excited tbh

remember how i said that he’d sit and listen to a stranger cry? if he shows even the slightest bit of emotion that isn’t happiness he starts malfunctioning and just trying to make the people around him happy

he’s honestly probably said, “alright i have to go back to being funny again.” to himself so many times before??? he’s so broken on the inside but has just put up so many barriers

despite the many walls he has to protect himself from other people, he’s just the nicest purest soul, he treats everyone like his family, and just has the insatiable need to be liked dkkfkdkd, pls be fragile with my boy thanks

ollie is left-handed

loves singing show tunes and has gone to too many shows on broadway????

has a special room for playbills because he likes getting them signed and they’re very important to him

hates talking about his family and will probably cry if you make him bring them up lmao

he’s such a himbo ... just kind , beefy , and stupid

he often just dumbs himself down, not because he thinks he’s better than other or something weird like that, buuuut he feels like people will judge him and make fun of him like others did when he was younger

— “ wanted plots ! ’ 〉

some potential wc i’m terrible at thinking of these so please don’t feel limited by this list!

best friends!!!!

roommates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! think this, this, this, this

guys he can hang out with sdksdflfkj idk a close knit group i’m thinking of ross, chandler, and joey or smth he’d be joey obvi

romantic plots can fuck me up any day of the week

i’m a slut for a good exes plot

unrequited crush, it can be that he has feelings for someone way out of his league, or someone has a crush on him and he’s just oblivious 

someone who broke his heart n inspired his music

band members!!!! would’ve had to attended columbia 

someone who he’s a good influence on

bad influence, he’s too good corrupt him do it cowards

former / current hookups 

ex friends 

straight up enemies

smth like one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen

[ober-affen-geil]

Please share all of the things about paper? I know nothing of anything you listed and now am curious and listening to someone who's passionate about something talk about it is honestly my favorite thing. What is deacidification and what consequences has it wrought? What qualities does onionskin paper possess and are you for or against it? Why are basic office supplies the devil and what, then, is your preference? WHAT IS THE GREAT PULP PAPER SWITCH?! I'm dying to know

Anon. You. You are my favorite.

Ok *cracks knuckles* important context. I am an archivist, I work with paper whose creation dates from anywhere to several hundred years ago to several decades ago. Our main goal in archives is long term preservation; basically make stuff last as long as possible as-is. 

Now, all of the stuff I mentioned in my tags on the post anon is asking about sort of tie together, so let me sing you the song of the archives.

tl;dr Office supplies are the devil and so is onionskin paper, paper used to be better and then it got worse, and humans tried to fix the bad paper by throwing chemicals at it.

Let’s start at the top. Idk how many of you did or had a paper making demonstration at some point in their youth, I did but I realize my experiences are not universal. Basically, paper is made by turning a material into pulp (exactly what it sounds like) and adding water and a sizing agent to make it a slurry (a very gross looking soup consistency). 

- A sizing agent is something that is used so that ink doesn’t “feather” when it touches the page. An unsized piece of paper will act like a paper towel with liquid. Not ideal for writing on. Sizing will become important later -

The slurry is then captured in a frame and the water is more or less squeezed out of it until you’re left with soggy pulp that you dry out and presto! Paper. Here’s a quick video showing the process.

Now. The first material that was used for paper was literally cotton rags. They were shredded and pulped and then made into paper. It’s called cotton rag paper and it was the main paper supply until the early-mid 1800s. It has a completely different feel to it than the paper we use today, it feels more like cloth. Paper money is made from something like it because it’s a lot more durable.

- Fun fact, “parchment”, which predated cotton rag paper, is not actually “paper” as we think of it. Parchment very specifically refers to a finely cured animal skin that was written on. Vellum is the same thing except finer, usually calfskin where regular parchment is sheepskin. -

Problem was, with the advent of movable type and higher literacy rates, the need for paper was steadily increasing. And cotton rags just weren’t cutting it. So manufacturers started looking for a more plentiful source. And they found trees!

Turns out wood pulp makes an excellent paper, toss in a little bleach and it works great! So around about the 1860s, most newspapers had switched over to wood pulp paper instead of cotton rag paper. And everything was looking up!

BUT.

Here’s the thing about wood pulp. It has a naturally occurring chemical called “lignin”, which is hella acidic. Not like burn-your-fingers acidic, but like over-time-this-material-will-chemically-eat-itself acidic. Which started to be a problem a couple decades after wood pulp paper started to be mass-produced. 

The good news is, what they quickly figured out was if they added a basic solution (who remembers their high school chemistry?) in the initial sizing agent it would neutralize the natural acidity in the pulp and the paper would last a lot longer.

But this did fuck all to help the paper that had already been made and was quickly becoming very fragile. Whatever can we do?!

Well, some genius (I use that term as sarcastically as possible) got the idea that maybe we could do the same thing - add a basic solution to acidic paper - to paper that had ALREADY been made! Brilliant! The process was called “deacidification” and it was very popular in the 1970s. The idea was to basically give at risk paper a “bath” and it would solve the problem. Here’s a video about it made by American higher ups that is absolutely hysterical imo.

Well, the university where I work had its own deacidification lab, which was fine. Deacidification does work, when done properly and when very specific criteria is met by the paper being treated. When that’s not what happens….it gets messy. The main problem with the deacidification process at my university is that it wasn’t being run by people who really knew what they were doing. Because what they understood about what needed to be done and the WHY behind what they were supposed to be doing were two different things.

Long story short they hella botched the deacidification process, and now not only does a large part of several of our more highly used collections have a lovely gross chemical residue all over it, they also managed to “deacidify” a good chunk of letters that were from the 1700s. AKA they were on cotton rag paper. AKA they were not actually acidic to begin with. I may be bitter.

Anyway. Speaking of types of paper, let’s talk about oinion skin. My sworn enemy. Onion skin paper was used for copying purposes when carbon copies were a thing, otherwise known as the early part of the 1900s up until when copy machines became a thing in the middle-late part. It’s still used if you’re filling out something with a “copy” attached to it, usually yellow, that you get to keep.

It’s called “onion skin” because that’s kind of what it looks and feels like; it’s thin like tissue paper but it’s sized in something that makes it much more durable. Easier to make multiple copies at once on a typewriter by stacking several sheets together. Great! Except it’s the fucking cockroach of paper.

It just fucking LIES there and is fragile enough that you can’t really do too much with it, but whoever sold their soul to make it less destructible than it should be got their money’s worth because it won’t die. It just. Doesn’t age the same way regular paper from the same time frame does and it doesn’t fucking go away.

But GOD HELP YOU if there’s a paper clip attached because you ain’t getting that sucker off without tearing the page short of an intervention by a surgical professional and the pope himself.

And do you know why? BECAUSE OFFICE SUPPLIES ARE THE LITERAL WORST.

I’m talking staples, paper clips, tape, sticky notes, glue sticks, binders, stick-on labels, et fucking cetera. It comes down to two things, metal and adhesive, and the fact that neither of those two things age very gracefully.

You know what’s fun? Clicking a stapler together. Very satisfying, punching that thing through the paper you just finished and are ready to turn in. You know what’s NOT fun? Prying rusty staples out of a stack of 50 year old papers with your fingers because they’ve rotted themselves into it and the tool you have for it won’t work. Same for fucking paper clips, because rusty metal eats into paper. Seriously, there will be a hole left when you finally pry it out. Not to mention rust stains. 

And ADHESIVE oh MAN. The thing is, over time it dries out. And rots. So depending what you’re looking at, it could be a sticky, half-melted pile of goo that doesn’t want to stay where it was, it could be straight up gone with a yellow stain to mark where it was, or it could have eaten into the paper it was stuck to and left a hole. Any way you slice it, it ain’t doing it’s job any more. Which is why traditional scrapbooks are usually an utter shit show.

But anyway, that’s that on that. If you have MORE questions, I am very, very happy to rant or find pictures of horror stories. There are a lot!

[bekahdoesnerdshit]

ask Two for the angst ones this time: 13 for raini, 5 (possibly will be pertinent come the end of this minicampaign) & 29 (she literally has Any Weapon w/ her pact so it's fititng) for ayen, 7 & 10 (hehe I know there's trauma in this one) for cog, and then mix and match 4, 17, 18 between Caspian, Ryker, and Brilliance bc I don't know them as well and I would Like To

My life is just below readmores now, I guess. Will I ever learn to shut the fuck up? No! And that is a promise 

Raini

13. What does it take to make your character cry? Oh boy. Raini definitely isn’t a big crier, because she a) doesn’t really let herself get to that point and b) hard pivots into “angry” over “upset” and she isn’t an angry crier. She’s cried twice in game so far, and probably not many times before that. In both in game cases -and likely the always alluded to but never seen “before times”- the catalyst for her crying was being overwhelmed. In a good way, bad way, whatever, but that’s the trigger. Just- Looking at something, not knowing what else to do but let yourself cry about it, and not seeing any reason to stop yourself.  (shfjsdjkfh the funny answer is: during sex. But can you IMAGINE jskdfskjdf)

Ayen

5. Would they ever turn on someone they just met in order to save themselves? Oh for sure. Without question. Not without guilt, in fairness, but without question. She’s pretty well adjusted, pretty “go with the flow”, but she did grow up in a pretty cutthroat world. She was spared from having to make those kinds of brutal decisions from a super young age by Shadow Mom, but she definitely saw the fallout of those choices and learned that, while it’s all well and good to do the “right” thing, it’s much more important to do the right thing for you. If that means condemning some stranger to die so you and yours don’t have to? So be it. Better people have done worse, because that’s sometimes just how things go.  I’ll be honest! This character decision was a completely on the fly one when we were having that debate in the library about what we should do with the information we learned in the library. But I stand by it. In character, Ayen 1000% sees whatever’s going on as Not Her Business. It’s fucked up, sure! But, you know. Not her monkeys, not her circus.  29. What is their weapon of choice, and what weapon do they dislike using the most? Bro I love that Ayen doesn’t have A Specific Weapon SO much. Especially because Pact of the Blade specifically makes it so that, whatever weapon she summons, she’s proficient in while wielding it. So she sees somebody using a weapon, goes “oh! cool!” and summons it herself, and then just. Intuitively knows how to use is. How fucking funny is that conceptually??  Her go to if things are serious or she doesn’t have time to pick something obscure is a longsword. Dad uses a greatsword, and a longsword is pretty close to that! Image how cool they looked fighting off assholes, back to back, with two bigass swords? Is that the only reason it’s her favorite? No of course not!!!! That would- that would be silly. And childish. Swords are just cool is all.  She hasn’t used any in game, but I think she honestly just doesn’t like any kind of polearm. It’s like, is it technically safer to be a little further from your enemy? Sure. Does it give you a small tactical advantage? Maybe so. But they’re so uglyyyy and they look weird and you have to use both hands and the balance is weird and >:( Spears can stay because you can throw them but you’re on thin fucking ice.

Cog

7. If your character was allowed to murder one person without any consequences, who would it be and why? Thank GOD Alex I wanted this one for Cog SO bad!!! Valentine WastelandGame! If you can read this! You’re a dead motherfucker!! This is for a variety of reasons including but not limited to: - Is responsible for the deaths of at least 3 separate world leaders! Uh oh!  - Asked for my blood one time! To do Science on! Not cool! - Ace doesn’t like him. Enough said.  - Called Ace “hotheaded” and “brutish” keep his NAME out of your MOUTH - Is fucking Maelo’s ex I think? Honestly I lost that plot on that one a little bit - Keeps taking Sunny on dates! We’re protective and Jealous?? Hard to say! We don’t have time to unpack this one let’s keep moving - Is convinced aliens exist? And are coming to attack the world? OKAY  - Talks in fucking circles about philosophy and the greater meaning of “good” and “evil” in the context of the world. Like, no sir! Good is when you help people and evil is when you kill them! Except unless it’s me killing you which is going to happen because I can cast Finger of Death now and you better believe that spell has your fucking name on it. Freak boy. - Just like. Eats straight raw steak. Not Evil but really weird and probably not great for you? - Overall just a very bad slimy manipulative and stinky dude. 0/10 I’m gonna put an arcane bullet in his skull. Like. Everything Valentine does, everything she learns about him, convinces Cog more and more that the world would be a better, safer place if he wasn’t allowed to exist in it anymore. She was kinda neutral on the guy until he gave his grand speech in Cormir about how the only way to save the world is to ‘conquer and subdue it’ and tried to talk her in circles enough that she had to agree with him or seem like a hypocrite. Since then, it’s been a slow creep from “I don’t trust this man and don’t want to work with him again, even if it makes our lives harder” to “he’s dangerous and needs to be stopped” to “...if given the opportunity, I would kill him myself”. And now that she has our new friend the Shadow Demon whispering in her ear, telling her that “the world will tremble and change before her” and that she should “stride boldly, and fear not the consequences that may follow” honestly? The next time we see Valentine, he might be in trouble!  10. What were the character’s parents like? What was the affect the parents had on the character? Oh, is there trauma in this one? Is there? Alex? Is there? Maybe so!! We’re gonna talk about Cog’s dad first, because he’s a) still alive and b) I KNOW you’re fishing for more mom angst. Cog’s dad name is Conrad Grace! He’s the head of Lafaroh’s town guard, whatever that means for a town of maybe a hundred people. I feel like his day to day really consists more of making rounds to check on people than dealing with criminals, although he likely has to break up the occasional disagreement or toss somebody in the drunk tank for the night. He’s also in charge of making sure the Guardians -the gods that live deep in the swamp outside Lafaroh and protect the town in exchange for food, building supplies, the occasional corpse, and other resources- get their offerings (This is Important, because he does Stop doing that soon). He married into he Grace family (that’s RIGHT he took his wife’s last name because it’s 2021 and he’s Woke not because her family like runs the town okay moving on), initially because I genuinely believe he fell in love! They were probably pretty young, because Lafaroh is very much a Deep South Swamp Town Analogue, but I don’t think it was just a social power move. The most important Conrad fact? He told Cog that he became disillusioned with the Church when she left home, because he couldn’t imagine continuing to support something he could now see had so clearly been hurting her. And I, Rebekah, a homosexual who has had Words with my Christian parents about the way their religion has hurt me? OH buddy we were a little bit of a mess about it. DM Ryan! Don’t you know I’m projecting!! Please be more careful! (Editor’s Note: This is the moment that made me realize I was projecting. Whoopso!!) Cog’s mom name is Charlotte Grace Sr. because, I guess, we’re freaks. I hate that this makes Cog technically a junior because the thought of anyone calling her Charlotte Jr. makes me break out in hives, but it is, technically, correct. The distinction while Cog was growing up was, instead, “Charlotte” and “Charlotte Olivia” because, again, we’re southern as hell. Charlotte Sr. is, unsurprisingly, the head of Lafaroh’s church, which means she very much has more actual power than her husband does. She did love Cog, I think, but in a way that very much more felt like someone guarding an investment than raising a child, especially when Cog became a teenager. She had high, exacting expectations, and grew more distant from Cog the older she got. Whether this was an unintentional side-effect of Charlotte Sr. becoming more engrossed in the preparations necessary to allow Cog to become the “Conduit”, or whether it was a purposeful decision because she knew she would lose her daughter and wanted the sacrifice to hurt less is unclear. Cog’s dad is kinda just a dude, but we KNOW this bitch has mommy issues. I also think an important distinction to draw between the two is that while I’m willing to give Conrad the benefit of the doubt and say that he may have just wanted Cog to stay in Lafaroh when they party returned because he was worried about his daughter and wanted her home, Charlotte Sr. wanted Cog there because it was Where She Was Supposed To Be, because she had a destiny to fulfill. More than that, when Charlotte Sr. found out that Conrad had stopped sending supplies to the Guardians when Cog left and had instead been selling them to Bandits to get money to rebuild the town, she was not nearly so understanding. She accused him of heresy, and ordered for him to be, uh. Flayed alive. Which wasn’t great. It’s what got her killed ultimately; Cog had to choose between her parents, and after watching her Mama summon a shadow demon that very nearly choked the life out of Sunny? It was a choice with only one possible outcome. 

Caspian

18. Would society call your character a good guy or a bad guy? What would they say they are? Caspian is. Caspian is Just a person. Like she is just out here doing her best, trying not to get killed by, idk. Pirates or ghosts or w/e. This is an endeavor that, statistically, could be going a lot better.  I think the more interesting angle to look at this question from is the fact that she’s a monk from a well known monastery, and that there’s Expectations on how she conducts herself in the world as a result of that. She is Just A Person, but that’s not good enough. Not when she’s running around wearing Pelor’s holy symbol, representing his monastery, reflecting on him. For a long time, I think Caspian resented the expectation that put on her! Why can’t she just be a kid? Just a person? She didn’t ask to be raised by these monks in this kind of life. But when she left home and realized how suddenly lonely she was, there were quiet, sad moments it was easy to soften with prayer. Rekindling her relationship with her god was her way of staying connected to home, and I think it also made her want to go from being Just a Person to actually wanting to take pride in being a Good Person.  And then her campaign lasted for two fucking seconds lmao so it didn’t even matter hahah! :)

Ryker

4. Has your character ever been hurt or betrayed by someone they thought they could depend on? What happened? YEAH BOY rye-bread got his SHIT handed to him lmaoooo His whole “why are you adventuring?” deal is that he fell in love with the noblewoman he was hired to escort across the country to her betrothed’s estate, and she played him like a fucking fiddle and convinced him -after her wedding, after she was pregnant with her husband’s first child and therefore heir- that she was in love with him too. But of course, because she was married, her husband would never let them be happy together. She talked Ryker into killing her husband, and promised to meet him the night he did it with horses and supplies for both of them. Anyone reading along at home with even a shred of common sense probably just said, “uh oh!” And uh oh indeed; she fully sold his ass out. There’s something emotionally devastating about slipping out of the bedroom of the man you just killed, his blood still on your hands, to find the woman you love standing between two enormous guards, but I can’t quite put my finger on what.  Ryker figured out her plan in the following days he spent in a cell, awaiting execution. She didn’t love her husband, but by playing the role of grieving widow and anxious mother-to-be she could ingratiate herself with his family enough to be allowed to take control of the estate while her son, the true heir, grew up to run it. It was cruel, and clean, and if Ryker hadn’t managed to escape it would have gone off without a hitch.

Brilliance 

17. Is your character afraid of death? Why/why not? Brilliance isn’t afraid of death, she’s afraid for what she’d leave behind. One of the songs on her playlist really leans into this (and I’m very excited to be posting her playlist soon! Stay tuned!), because she is terrified of what her death might do to Sienna. She never planned to become an adventurer, much less travel to the Hells to try and save an entire city. She was content, more than content, to guard Sune’s church, to help the people that came seeking her goddess’ blessing and guidance. When her city faced a sudden influx of refugees from Elturel after its destruction, she was even happy to volunteer to help the Flaming Fist keep order and root out would-be troublemakers. She never meant to get caught up in a job that would take her out of her home city, much less out of her home plane entirely. Every fight she got into in Hell, every time it seemed like she may be staring down something that might kill her, Brilliance had to swallow down the overwhelming guilt of knowing that if she died here Sienna would never know what happened to her. The image of Sienna, worried and pacing, looking toward the door to their apartment every time there was so much as a whisper in the hallway, desperate for any sign that Brilliance had come home-- It wasn’t delusions of self-importance or self-preservation that had Brilliance taking Glasya’s deal to save her from the narzugon’s clutches; it was the image of Sienna collapsing onto their bed and sobbing because she finally admitted to herself that Brilliance was never coming home. Still. Sienna needs her, but her party needs her too. They’re counting on her to be there for them, to take the big hits that they can’t handle. First one in, last one out; she doesn’t leave until everyone else is safe. She wants to survive, she wants to go home and marry the woman she loves, but she couldn’t live with herself if she did it at the cost of the life of someone who was depending on her. Brilliance isn’t afraid of death; she would die for her party members, even the ones she doesn’t particularly like. She just knows exactly what the cost of her death would be. 

[sometimesrosy]

Do you think Lxa was just listening to Clarke in s3 to the point of alienating her own people just because she wanted to screw her or because she really wanted peace? Because it got to the point where Lxa’s actions where very obviously favoring the sky people over her own. This is not the Lxa we saw in s2. How did you interpret it?

 I disagree with your essential theory here. I think it was the Lxa we saw in season 2. Most of my disdain for Lxa actually stems from my belief that she was a terrible leader who cared more about her reputation and power than she did about doing what was best for her people. Understand that my whole interpretation of Lxa stems from her poor leadership, so the widely accepted interpretation that Lxa was some sort of brilliant, peacemaking leader... a visionary... doesn’t wash with me.

Oh hey, this is a long one so I’m going to write it all after the jump, which keeps some of the controversy at bay because at heart, we’re all too lazy to click keep reading. And the last time I said the behavior of a beloved character was not out of character but was their character the entire time, and gave evidence for it, I got some stans MAD. Like I was making up the canon or something IDK. I think it was more like they were erasing canon or brushing it under the rug because it wasn’t nice. Whatever didn’t fit their interpretation they decided was unimportant. 

So this is going to happen in regards to Lxa. Do not read if you’re not willing to read that. And if you do read it, don’t get mad at me for not thinking Lxa is the bees knees. You’ve been warned, now be a responsible consumer of media and either accept that people are allowed different opinions or don’t read it because you’re not interested in interpretations that read Lxa as an antagonist. (this is directed at stans, not you anon.)

ok moving on the meta

Yes. Indra called her a visionary, and we know that she united the clans against a common enemy, the mountain men, which kept them from infighting, but I don’t actually consider that peace. Unity, yes. Peace, no. They united in order to fight someone else. There’s no definition of peace that centers on waging war. And when we SAW her leading, once the story starts? Lxa lost every battle that she entered into. Not the one on one fights, she was a good warrior, I’ll give her that. However, the only people she managed to kill or dominate were her own people. And whenever she or her people were up against the skypeople, she actually lost. Even when things were so weighted in her favor that there was no question that the grounders would win. She still lost. 

I can’t speak for her motivation before the show starts. It does seem as if her “peacemaking,” which makes it better for the tribes, but also ended up giving her more power over everyone, including her most bitter enemies, the Azgeda, serves the double duty of allying the tribes AND glorifying Lxa herself.

TBH, I don’t see ANY action she takes in the entire series that doesn’t glorify Lxa. Well, until she meets Clarke and falls in love, and then she starts trying to make decisions that AREN’T about her reputation or power base or political machinations... although i think in public, she keep maneuvering it all back to being for her glorification.

She wants Clarke and loves her and desires her, so she takes her. BUT she manipulates it to be a political move where she has power over the sky people and over death itself. Clarke LITERALLY becomes a trophy, who needs to kneel at her feet. And yes, she does kneel back, but only in private, so it doesn’t damage her reputation or show weakness. Clarke becomes a vulnerability to her because of this, I think. 

I do think Lxa’s weakness is love... but we have to expand the definition to mean love, desire, yearning... and not just for Clarke or Costia or any people. Lxa LOVES power, and her desire is to keep, maintain and grow her power... and if letting TonDC blow will give her more power, she’ll let her coalition leaders die. If betraying Clarke and skycrew will give her more power, she’s leave them to die. If kidnapping Clarke and using her to prove she’s powerful (and also giving her what she’s wanted since s2 which is Clarke near enough to date,) then she’ll do it. Oh look, her unstated desires are starting to bleed into political and leadership decisions. Weakness. It’s not the love, I don’t think. it’s the lack of integrity. But her emotions make her unstable and unpredictable. She wants what she wants and will break her own rules to get it, whether it is a reputation as a badass or clarke in polis or control over her coalition or a legacy that makes her a legend.

And there was only one point when she favored the sky people and that’s when she let them slide on the hakeldama massacre. And to be honest, that wasn’t about preferring the skypeople. It wasn’t even about loving Clarke. Clarke manipulated her into that decision by accurately understanding what motivated Lxa... power, reputation, and her LEGACY. Clarke fed her ego by convincing her that showing the skypeople mercy would make her famous as a visionary. This is not my interpretation. This is canon. It wasn’t “if you love me you’ll let my people live.” It wasn’t “don’t kill innocent people, please have mercy.” It was, “if you spare them, people will remember you as merciful, as the visionary who brought peace to the people.” Not “this is the right thing to do.” But “this is how people will see you forever.” But remember also, that mercy came with a double edged sword. An army sitting outside Arkadia, that could either protect or destroy if they stepped out of line. They weren’t diplomats. They were warriors, and they were armed and dangerous. When Pike’s army killed them, they weren’t innocents. Pike killed their watch FIRST. Which is TACTICS. He removed their first defense. And then killed their archers, so they couldn’t get close enough to the sky people to overwhelm them with their superior numbers. This was not more powerful warriors killing defenseless people (like it was at the drop ship. what was SPECIFICALLY these warriors, trikru,) it was 10 people with better weapons, assessing the weaknesses of an army 30 times their strength, and beating them with strategy. They didn’t cheat. They beat them fair and square. Their decision was WRONG, and a bad idea, but not cheating. Until they went through and killed the wounded. I think that’s a war crime. And Pike did deserve punishment for that (not Bellamy he tried to stop it.) 

Even though she spared them and seemed to favor them over her army, in that one instance, the rest of the time she had the skypeople twisting on a string, pent up behind a fence, not allowed to use the mountain although they conquered it, not allowed to trade or farm or hunt. She was keeping them powerless. And when she punished Nia for blowing up MW, she didn’t do it for the skypeople, she did it for herself, because Nia challenged her. Nia attacked the skypeople as a move against Lxa.

I don’t think Lxa cared much about peace. She showed little mercy. To anyone unless it served her needs. And we saw that in season 2. And she wasn’t being kind to skaikru in season 3. Never. Sparing them from slaughter is not kindness, it is an abuse of power that continually reminds them she could slaughter them all, man woman and child, whenever she wanted to. And Clarke had to stay to make sure she didn’t. Regardless of her other reasons for wanting to stay (hiding from her people, trauma, wanting to be with Lxa.)

I’m always nervous to answer asks about Lxa because I do NOT think Lxa is a hero. Just because a character serves as representation for an under represented minority does not mean that that character is heroic, good, or perfect. Depicting a minority as a complex, three dimensional character (which I think Lxa IS) is actually good representation. It is not good representation to assume that all minorities are flawless, heroic, perfect characters. White guys get Superman, that perfect hero, but they also get Batman (dark and tortured,) and Rorsharch (maybe good maybe not so good,) and The Joker (really not good but compelling.) Lesbians don’t get any of that, so looking at Lxa, FINALLY representation of their own, they see Superman, that perfect example. But Lxa in the story is really more like Magneto. A leader with good intentions whose motives and methods are SEVERELY questionable and from many perspectives, down right evil. 

At best, if you look at the story from her perspective (which is not the perspective of the narrative) she is a TRAGIC hero, like Hamlet or Macbeth, a character who starts out high, with power and respect, and through their own fatal flaws, falls and loses everything. That is EXACTLY what happened to Lxa. This was not an attack on her character, this was how her character was built from the beginning and is a VERY classic tragic story. No one did it to her. She did it to herself. She was warned along the way. And she did what she wanted anyway, and she lost EVERYTHING, her life, her people, her power, her traditions, her religion, even, eventually, her immortality. Everything that happened to the grounders was essentially set into place by Lxa, when she attacked 100 pretty helpless adolescents, and strung Jasper up, unprovoked. 

She didn’t cause the Ark to fail, or the rebellion on the ark. She didn’t cause the second apocalypse. She didn’t cause the Eligius or Sanctum. But the story of the grounders and how their society collapsed was TOTALLY on Lxa’s head. But she WAS more interested in her own self interest, desires, and power than she was the benefit of her people. 

I think her behavior in s3 is consistent with her behavior in s2, with some added character development of how BAD she is at dealing with love. No, dear, you cannot kidnap someone and make them love you. You literally did EVERYTHING wrong in wooing Clarke. You’re just lucky she’s so forgiving and was so vulnerable when you had her in your clutches. Anyway. It was good for neither of them. 

I simply do not agree with the interpretation that Lxa is a good leader, kind, or visionary. Not in s2 or s3. I think she’s a good character as an antagonist, but the fandom interpretations erase her antagonist qualities and flatten her out into a cupcake that doesn’t belong in this story. She’s not the hero. Clarke, Bellamy and the 100 are. Lxa is the person who caused a good portion of the trauma for our heroes, even in the romance. That makes her the antagonist. Lxa stood in the way of our heroes getting what they wanted in season 1, season 2 and season 3. That’s an antagonist, even when the complexity of love, and a golden cage, is added to the story. I do not ever say that their love isn’t real, I’m saying that just because there’s love doesn’t mean it is good, healthy, or helpful for our hero. Love does not equal perfect, or we wouldn’t have heartbreak, domestic abuse, failed marriages, love triangles, bad girfriends/boyfriends, or Donna Summer’s classic disco hit, “I Will Survive” (hey hey)

[knightofameris]

FINALS WEEK IS SO SOON FOR YOU? OMG. MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU! may you have good grades and retain the information you study for ❤️

literally tho, i'd ALSO fight atsumu LMAOOO we'll tag team 'em ;) it'll be a cute little couple bonding moment 🥰

i feel that draining thing! and i think the word you are looking for IS ambivert hehe tbh whenever i don't feel like carrying a convo i kinda just ghost my friend and then i feel SUPER bad abt it whenever i get the chance to respond asDfGHJKL but like they usually understand... i hope 😅 but don't be afraid to take a break and all that bc during this time, socializing really does leave such a huge impact now! :,)

I KNOW YOU'RE PICKING UO VIDEO GAMES!! I SAW YOUR BLURB ABT GENSHI IMPACT AND THE NEW SPIDER-MAN MILES MORALES GAME AND MY HEART!!! i've been meaning to buy it but it's literally sold out whenever i go 😀 but that mini event tho? tell me about that? 👀 ur literally so creative ugh spare some brain cells PLEASE

i've been doing well!! writing ever now and then bc my school load as been getting softer! thank goodness! i have a christmas event planned soon which i'm REALLY excited for 😷 hopefully, i can get some request out of the way before starting that up tho. i have another question for you tho! what are some of your fave fic tropes? this is for... of course... research purposes 👀📝 -dylan

OMG REALLY? i know a few people who has finals like this week! which is crazy to me. all these school systems never lining up so I can never hang out with friends during break ):< not that we should, all things considered LOL and thank you ;-; i hope you get them good grades too!!!! <3 

TAG TEAM THEM OMG YES AHJASDKHFAFJ the cutest couple bonding moments omg 🥺

OH SO I DO HAVE BRAIN CELLS APPARENTLY AHAHAH and omg no i totally get that, the few friends i do talk to consistently rn we’ve talked about like “ghosting” but we all know that we just need to do our own thing sometimes so I'm sure they understand!! i miss talking to people tho! and honestly, the fact that i get drained from even talking to people online just goes to show that online friends and whatever is really just as valid as irl friends uwu PLUS I LIKE TO THINK WE ALL KNOW??? WE CAN’T ALWAYS RESPOND RIGHT AWAY??? like different timezones or like having other things to do and forgetting to reply, etc. 

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH IT’S BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE BEEN SO INVESTED IN VIDEO GAMES IDK WHY I DROPPED IT (jk i do know why the guys i played with were always toxic so i dropped,,,, also didn't have consoles and stuff to play until my brother came back home with his stuff) AND AHHHHHHHHHH dude my brother got really lucky with miles morales and the ps5, i was like wtff. I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK WITH IT THO IT’S SO GOOOD AHHHH

and ommmg tbh! i really like doing these mini events, it’s like a break from my WIPS plus they’re a way to exercise my creative juices??? LOL but uhhhhhhh it has to deal with AU’s and ,,,, lol video games 

HELL YEAH i’m glad your school load is lightening up!! YOU DESERVE IT!!! take some time for yourself ;-; AND OMG CHRISTMAS EVENT IM EXCITED. i was thinking about doing a holiday event but i was like,,,, nah,,,, cus i could never i think AJKFLDJF ALS YOU’RE CREATIVE TOO I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, I HAVE NO BRAIN CELLS. IF I FIND ANY I’LL SEND THEM YOUR WAY LOL and i believe in you!!!!!! don’t burn out tho ;-; pls 

and omg,,, research purposes,,, i,,, i really like childhood friends to lovers as well as enemies/rivals to lovers,,,,,,,,, and the whole mutual pining and oblivious idiots LOL i’m kinda basic. i do enjoy AUs a lot though! i don’t go out of my way to find them but if i wander on one of an AU-concept i like then i’ll probably read it lol. annnnnd usually those AU’s i like are on the side of like, action-adventure-esque???? it’s my marvel side trying to make its way back in my life but i won’t let it <3 OH AND DOMESTIC STUFF ARGFHGFGH or fake dating? that’s real cute. wha-what about your favorite tropes 🥺👉👈 @miyalove