#idk still ironing out the fine details there

[moonstruckme]

hi mae!! how are you?

i recently burned my thigh with my iron curler and it formed a big scar. it started slowly bubbling up and i accidentally popped it like 2 days ago so now i have fresh skin open 🥲 it’s extra sensitive and i have to patch it up. and when i let the wound breath it HURTS 😭

i was wondering if you could write about this with emt!marauders? or maybe just james? idk lol whatever you feel like writing it about.

AND IF YOUVE WRITTEN ABOUT THIS ALREADY, MY BAD 😃😭

Hi lovely, I'm good! I'm really sorry this happened, it sounds awful!! Hope it's feeling a bit better by now <3

cw: severe burn (no details)

James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 786 words

“I don’t think we should do this.”  

“I mean,” says James, sitting patiently opposite you on the bed, “I don’t love it either.” 

“Then let’s not,” you bargain.

 He gives you a sorry smile. “What do you think we should do instead, angel?” 

You take a deep breath. “Leave it,” you say on the exhale. “It’ll heal eventually. Or it won’t, and the bandage will become my new skin. I could be fine with that.” 

“I’m somewhat attached to your real skin.” 

“We all have to make sacrifices, James.” 

Your boyfriend gives you an amused look, but there’s worry beneath it. You feel guilty for putting him through this. It’s bad enough that he has to change your bandages for you because you’re too squeamish to do it yourself, but now you’re also making him convince you as if it were his idea. 

You blow out a long breath, tilting your face up toward the ceiling. “I can’t see it.” 

“You don’t have to,” he reassures you. “You can close your eyes, baby.”

“How bad is a little infection really?” you ask, but you’re already laying back, succumbing to the plushness of your pillow. 

“I had a dog bite get infected once,” James says, pulling your leg into his lap. Strong, gentle fingers on the underside of your thigh. “I didn’t enjoy it.” 

“You got bitten by a dog?” You turn your head to see him, but he shoots you a look and you sigh, covering your eyes with your hands. “When was that?” 

“When I was little.” One of his hands stays cradling your leg, but you feel the fingers of the other probing carefully at the edges of your bandage. Apprehension climbs up your throat, mingling with the ache of affection that’s already there. You appreciate how delicate James is with you, peeling the bandage up gingerly by one corner instead of ripping it off like some might. “It wasn’t really the dog’s fault, it was just spooked and I didn’t know enough to stay away.” 

You hiss as the bandage sticks to a tender bit of skin, and James coos an apology, stroking the unharmed skin beside it soothingly. Then the whole thing comes off, air hitting the wound and making you tense all over. 

“What happened with the bite?” Your voice is somewhat strained. 

James hesitates. “There was a lot of puss involved,” he says. “You won’t want to hear the details.” 

“Mm, thanks.” 

He chuckles. You can hear him twisting the cap off the antibiotic ointment. Your fingertips press harder into your brow bone. 

“You alright?” he asks softly. 

“Mhm. I’m ready.” 

You still gasp through your teeth when the ointment makes contact with your skin, and James grips your leg more firmly to keep you from flinching away. 

“Sorry,” he hisses, working fast as he can with gentle, caring fingers. “Sorry, baby.” 

“Not your fault,” you squeak out, keeping your own fingers pressed tightly over your eyes. “Thank you for doing this.” 

James doesn’t seem to want to accept your thanks, and you let the silence sit. When he’s done, you both sigh. 

“Thanks,” you say again. For good measure. “Couldn’t have done it without you.” 

“Definitely not,” James agrees. “I’ve no idea what we’re going to do when I’m hurt someday and neither of us can look at it.” 

You drop your hands from your eyes and sit up on your elbows, careful to look only at James and not down at your leg. It’s not hard. He’s a lovely sight, even with that sympathetic pinch to his mouth and worry tightening the muscles around his eyes. You reach for his hand, and his expression lightens. He wipes his fingertips off on his jeans before giving it to you. 

“We’ll have to call Remus,” you say, squeezing his fingers. 

A laugh startles out of him. “I thought you were going to say you’d put your squeamishness aside for me. Or that it wouldn’t be gross because you love me, or something.” 

“I would if it were true,” you reply, “but I’m afraid I won’t be much help if I’m gagging over you the entire time. I’ll hold your hand while we both don’t look, though.” 

“Mm, fair enough.” He scoots closer on the bed. His hand finds your opposite hip, rubbing a slow back-and-forth. “And you’ll distract me with kisses while I’m nursed back to health?” 

“If it’ll help.” Your voice is soft. “Though I should point out that I haven’t received any kisses.” 

Twin dimples appear on either side of James mouth as he leans over you, careful to avoid your hurt leg. “Patience, angel,” he murmurs as his lips brush yours. “I’m not done with you yet.” 

[blessphemy]

murderbot brain rot

What if Murderbot metamorphosed in a pod

It’s raining. What if it were raining on Murderbot

Nullverse but it’s the American south and Murderbot. has a mullet. CSU jean booty shorts. ART is. busted ass rusty school bus with vines all over it. they’re still cyborgs and AI but is modern America I will NOT explain . ARTbus can drive around but the vines are fine don’t worry about it

washes my face. What if Murderbot washed its face

[ad break from your faithfully scheduled brain rot but instead of ads my head is transcendentally empty because im looking at a slug]

AU where murderbot has no face

Murderbot has a tail with a knife on the end. This is called the “Achilles knife” and MB doesn’t know why. (It’s because the knife is for slicing the Achilles tendon) (10 uninterrupted minutes thinking about tail mechanics and making a little tail knife sheath)

how to make Murderbot talk to Mensah about is emotions [5000rpm brain cycle, smoke coming out]

self actualization of the bot. Media? Man I tend to drop the ball about media themes, ironic. What is it heading towards? What is its character arc? speaking of which idk what I’m doing work myself either I just live here. I should check my email

via solitude fic story boarding

[redacted] fic story boarding

Nullverse but let’s focus on [redacted] you need to rewrite that paragraph in the drafts lmaooooooooooo I’ve connected the dots !!wait. Never mind that doesn’t make sense

Ag bots. Ag bots?

what is a circadian rhythm for constructs. subject Murderbot to regular cadence of physical self care

[ad break from your faithfully scheduled brain rot but instead of ads my head is transcendentally empty because I’m staring at the mist rising from the boiling water on the stove]

how does Murderbot get water. It sweats. is that water sweat. What the fuck was that solvent aboard ART in the shower Wells I demand an explanation WHAT solvent is virtually indistinguishable from water but not water and it’s being used in a shower? Why this detail? WHY

[joompheart]

This one is Andrew. I'm really glad to finally have a kinda definitive picture that I can point to and go "that's what she looks like," and I'm looking forward to doing the same for the rest of my OC's. Long, detailed description below the cut.

-Age range: 16-21

-Physical attributes: Disgustingly lean. Almost nothing but muscle, skin, and bone. Think “teenage Olympian.” Strong for her size but not big enough to be “actually actually” strong. Shortest of my OC's, maybe 5'7” to 5'9”? I have a tendency to kinda homogenize heights with my characters but I still don't think of her as diminutive. Dark hair, approx shoulder length. Can be a couple inches longer or shorter though. [Maybe she looks a little sickly in this picture, that's just because I'm bad with color. Any human skin tone would be fine, I think the colors of her armor go well with every one I can conceive of].

-Magic specialty: Andrew is the most severely minmaxxed out of all of my characters, focusing on physical enhancement and melee combat. She's optimized for movement speed, strength, agility, grace/ coordination, and reaction speed. She also has some talent for enhancing objects, but only her own possessions. In a fair fight Andrew wins against every other character except Theodore, you just can't touch her. [Andrew I mean].

-Armor: Basically like at the end of Halo 4 where they take off Master Chief's Mark VI MOD MJOLNIR armor, it's a (supposed to be black or dark grey but the red looked better for this) skintight bodysuit with armor plates sealed on. The armor plates are small and rounded to reduce any drag or chances to snag on the environment when moving at speed, and to keep a lower profile (or at least as low as you can go when you're bright yellow-gold). Andrew was a zealot/ corpo assassin so this armor was made to be worn under more conventional clothes and could be at least partially hidden with magic. The armor plates are not exceptionally strong, but very light. They're mostly to facilitate wearing her thrusters.

-[An armor plate of note would be her cup, which is worn as a thong. Think something right out of a Radical Dream/ Rindou demon exorcist hentai, except the protection is actually real and not just ostensible lol. I point this out because you can't really see from this angle, but it feels important to the whole outfit and character for me. It's not like Andrew is supposed to be really sexy, she's got the most uncomfortable body of all of my characters. But leaving no armor there would feel sparse, and using a more conservative plate would feel lame. Idk. Idk it feels important.]

-Thrusters: Andrew can move stupid fast and could probably jump out of atmosphere if she had to, but she can't fly. This means that when she's really moving she would actually be at her slowest in free fall, or even worse at the apex of a jump. To counteract this she has sort of “reverse jetpack” thrusters on her armor angled up to push her back down to the ground, where she can get back to peak performance. Thrusters are concentrated on her upper back, but there are also some on the back of her shoulders, some right on top of her (damn near nonexistent) boobs, one above her cock, and on the back of her calves. Think kinda like Iron Man repulsors, though that makes me feel a little lame to say lol.

-Sword: The inception of this character was really enjoying the Odachi animations in the game Nioh, so that's what her sword is like. Try to imagine her padding along, holding it down in front of her, blade forward, hands crossed so her dominant right palm is down and her supporting left palm is up, tip of the blade just barely gliding above the ground. The sword is just metal with no inherent special qualities, albeit a space alloy that's more durable than anything we've got on earth and holds and edge really well. However, due to her strong bond with it, Andrew can magically enhance the durability and cutting ability of the blade even further, as to slice through rock and even metal with little resistance. Additionally, the length of the blade is magically variable. The sheath for the blade is only about a foot long, and the length of the blade for a given use is determined by how “long” the blade is unsheathed. The sheath is tied with cord so Andrew can stow her sword and attach it to/ hang it on her armor when not in use. The cord's length is also magically variable, so she can kinda “yo-yo” when her blade is too long to comfortably reach manually. In that way she can quickly change the length of the blade mid-fight, throwing the sheath to the tip of the sword to pull back to the hilt and then yanking it back off revealing that the blade is now several feet shorter (or vice versa).

-Partial Biography: Daughter of the governor of one of 2 colony mining cities, one of many children. Neither the eldest or the youngest. When Penelope (doesn't technically but effectively) kills the governor and the city is overrun with Penelope's cult [he doesn't lead it, hes just a prominent member. But that's off topic.], Andrew and her family flee to the other city on the other side of the planet. Andrew's aptitude for magic, both inherited from her father and developed on her own, leads her to be enlisted as a sort of political assassin for the governors of that city. Over time her convictions are loosened by the nature of her work and she's assigned a final suicide mission to kill Penelope and as much of his cult as she can, basically being told she's fired and that's the last listing they're leaving her with.

-Personality: Frustrated and vengeful, feels strongly about the concept of “justice.” Andrew is reckoning with having lost so much faith in the system that she and her father believed in, how she can possibly make “the world” “better” when her primary skill set is extreme overkill murder, and if her hate for Penelope and his cult even matters. Used to a high standard of living, if a little spartan. Very very very capable in action, moving efficiently and with little pretense. Very driven, expects to always know what her next goal is.

-Associated NiN songs: “The Wretched”

[tciddaemina]

Best FromSoft game, rated by the number of fuckable characters and creatures?

dear fuck, you really aren't making this easy for me, are you? fine, fine, fine. out of the left field then - the answer is dark souls 1. it's not one i've interacted with as much, or engage with as much, but fuck okay, lets look at the bosses. you didn't ask for this, but since you've opened this can of worms let me give you specific details. its ds1 smash or pass edition

asylum demon - pass. just not it, plus literally the first boss, so pretty weak. could at least be a bit more impressive and lethal, very meh.

bell gargoyle - hard smash. look at him, he's armored, he's sexy, he's got a fanged maw and a very long tail. we loved something humanoid but cursed and fucked-up looking.

capra demon - very hard smash. ngl, half the reason this game is top choice. honestly, i really fuck with a skull head aesthetic, and look at him, he's jacked, he has a tail, he looks like a beast in the sack, he has two huge cleavers. everything that stands for the bell gargoyle stands for him

ceaseless discharge - pass. it would just be a bit complicated, and the lava looks like it would not be so fun. insane bonus points for his name tho, and so hey, bringing him up is a good excuse to show this meme

centipede demon - smash. honestly, not sure how it would work, but this guy actually has thicc thighs so like fuck it, why not

chaos witch quelaag - smash. look what do i have to say? she's gorgeous, she's a confident woman doing her own thing. i won't judge someone for what they've got going on in their pants. i already said smash for a centipede, so whats a few less legs? we dig it.

crossbreed priscila - pass. look she's basically just a regular lady. sure she's pretty, and has cute horns but like. pretty girls exist everywhere. nothing special, she's probably the wifu of like six million horny dark souls fans

dark sun gwyndolin - smash. very eerie, very unsettling, amazing tentacle game, messed up head with some sort of terrifying helmet. we love it.

demon firesage - pass. basically the asylum demon again, but now with the inconvenience of the ceaseless discharge. not worth.

four kings - hard smash. look tenshi you know my opinions about suits of armour. it's sexy. he's sexy. knives are sexy. he has sexy horns.

gaping dragon - smash. just- look. look. okay eldritch shit is very interesting, and dragons are very interesting and just- i don't need to explain myself, moving on

great grey wolf sif - pass. literally just a wolf.

gwyn lord of cinder - pass. on the one hand, very sexy armour and sword. on the other hand... sort of mummified old guy. i'm not so much into that 'fuck that old man' life. maybe if it was just his armour as a sentient suit....

iron golem - smash. bit interesting in terms of size, but look hey. gotta sexualise that suit of armour, am i right? it'd be an incredible blow to my rep if i passed on it

moonlight butterfly - hard smash. look at it, its gorgeous. so fucking pretty, what the hell. i feel like it would be very gentle with you. it'd be a very sensual experience.

nito - smash. literally just a pile of bones in a trenchcoat but like. idk that has some charm. could be interesting. why not

ornstein and smough - as a pair or individually? becase i'm still recovering from reading vow by [insert name when i can fact check when ao3 is back up] like two years ago, and that fic made me hate smough's guts. if smough has to be involved then pass, if ornstein alone then fuck hard smash. his armour is so sexy are you kidding?

pinwheel - pass. its just... eh. eh.

seath the scaleless - smash. almost a pass, bc he sounds like a bit of an asshole, but also man he's very pretty. and he's a dragon. always bonus points for being a dragon. very fuckable

stray demon - pass. look how many times do i have to say that i'm not super into the asulym demon? it doesn't matter how much he reskins, its still him.

taurus demon - hard smash. look at those horns. look at those shoulders. we can appreciate a terrifying only vaguely humanoid looking monster okay? okay?

bed of chaos - pass. look i know i've said smash to some pretty wild eldritch shit on this list, but again, the fire. also, basically a tree? the name is sort of compelling through, so very on the fence about this one. call it a maybe.

anyway i hope this is what you wanted tenshi. don't worry, i'm going to get you back just as bad

[uses-for-fics]

Forbidden Paradise

Peter Hayes x Reader

A/n: Ik technically they’re canonically supposed to be 16 but I’ve always imagine the divergent characters to be older so you can take this as a headcanon where they’re all older than 16 maybe like 18-19 but all the same events from the book happen… idk maybe I’m dragging it lol

The Choosing Ceremony loomed larger with every passing minute. A knot of anticipation twisted in my gut as I waited for the bus. My skirt, wrinkled from its hasty morning donning, was a constant source of irritation. I tugged at the fabric, a futile attempt at smoothing it out.

"Maybe I should've ironed it," I muttered, more to myself than to Cass, who was standing beside me.

She gave my outfit a critical eye. "You'll be fine," she assured me, but her gaze lingered on my exposed arms. She shrugged off her cardigan and handed it to me. “ Just in case," she added, a hint of a shiver running through her. "You know how unpredictable the weather can be."

I chuckled. "Thank you, if I didn’t know any better I’d think you’re turning into a full-blown Erudite."

Cass grinned. "Hey, a girl's gotta be prepared."

Our conversation was interrupted by the familiar, grating voice of Peter. "Well, well, well, look who decided to grace us with their presence."

I rolled my eyes. "Peter."

"No witty retort today, Grumpy? Maybe you're finally ready to embrace your inner Amity?" He smirked, his eyes glinting with malice.

I took a deep breath. "Peter, you're such a small part of my life that I often forget you exist. And for the record, I'm not sure where I'm going. It could be Dauntless for all you know."

He seemed taken aback by my unexpected sharpness. "Is that so?" he replied, his voice laced with disbelief.

The bus arrived, breaking the tension. As we boarded, I caught a glimpse of Peter whispering to his friends, his face contorted into a sneer. Cass tried to distract me with talk of her latest book, but my mind kept returning to Peter's taunts.

We settled into our seats, the rhythmic rumble of the bus a comforting counterpoint to the storm brewing inside me.

Cass, oblivious to my turmoil, launched into a detailed explanation of a particularly puzzling case from her book.

I tried to focus, to lose myself in her words, but Peter's face kept flashing before my eyes. His smug smile, the way his friends hung on his every word.

'Why does he still bother me? It's been years, I should hate him,' I thought bitterly. 'He replaced me with Molly, that giggling airhead. How could he just forget everything we had?'

But a traitorous voice, a whisper in the back of my mind, countered, 'Forget? No, he doesn't forget. He just doesn't care anymore.'

The truth, the awful truth, dawned on me. The anger, the hatred I felt, it wasn't real. It was a shield, a defense mechanism my brain created to protect itself from the crushing pain of rejection. Because the truth was, I still...loved him. I never stopped loving him. Even after the embarrassing rejection he’d given me not to long ago.

The sun was a warm kiss on her skin as she stretched out on the soft, emerald grass. Beside her, Peter lay, his eyes fixed on the drifting clouds. The sky was a canvas of white, gray, and blue, morphing into shapes with every passing moment. It was a perfect day, the kind that made time stand still.

"Look at that one," she said, pointing at a cloud shaped like a giant rabbit. Peter chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"More like a grumpy bunny," he teased.

She laughed, the sound light and carefree. There was a comfortable silence between them, punctuated only by the gentle rustling of leaves and the distant chirping of birds. "I wonder what we'll be doing in five years," she mused, breaking the quiet.

Peter turned his head to look at her, a thoughtful expression on his face. "I don't know," he admitted. "Maybe we'll be Amity, hugging trees. Or Dauntless, jumping off trains. Or maybe even Erudite, ruling the world with our brains." His eyes glinted.

She giggled. "Don't be ridiculous. As if you’d ever be Erudite." She pinched his nose.

He feigned offense while swatting her hand. "Hey!" They lapsed back into comfortable silence, the warmth of the sun lulling them into a state of relaxation. Gathering her courage, she turned to face him. His eyes, a dark forestry green, met hers. Her heart pounded in her chest.

"Peter," she began, her voice barely a whisper. "There's something I need to tell you."

He sat up, his attention focused on her. "What is it?"

She took a deep breath. "I...I like you. A lot." The words hung in the air between them, heavy with unspoken emotions. Peter's face was a mask of confusion, then surprise, and finally, something she couldn't quite decipher.

He stood up abruptly, his face pale. "I-I have to go," he stammered, his voice barely audible. Before she could respond, he turned and ran, disappearing into the dense trees at the edge of the clearing. She was left alone, her heart aching with a mixture of confusion and hurt. She lay back on the grass, staring up at the indifferent sky. The once comforting clouds now seemed to mock her.

Across the aisle, Peter watched her. His gaze was fixed on her profile, lost in thought. Molly, his usual confidante, chattered idly beside him, her words washing over him like distant waves. But his mind was elsewhere. He hadn't meant to hurt her. It had happened so gradually, the shift from friends to something more complex, then the abrupt cut-off.

Candor was his home. Honesty was in his blood. But a part of him, a part he was afraid to acknowledge, yearned for something more. Something he associated with her: laughter, shared secrets, a sense of belonging he hadn't felt since. He was scared of leaving Candor, of stepping into the unknown. But he was even more scared of staying, of living a life without her in it. He thought back to when he messed it all up.

Peter stumbled home, his mind in turmoil. He’d never felt this way before. The words she’d spoken echoed in his head. Like had he lived his entire life in a bubble, oblivious to the world around him? He’d always prided himself on his honesty, but now, faced with his own truth, he felt like a coward.

Days turned into a blur of avoidance. He’d catch glimpses of her in the halls, her laughter as bright as ever, but now tinged with a sadness he'd caused. He wanted to reach out, to apologize, to explain, but the words seemed to stick in his throat. Fear gnawed at him. Fear of rejection, fear of the unknown. What if he told her how he felt, and she laughed in his face? Or worse, rejected him? The thought was almost unbearable.

Then came the realization, a cold, hard slap to his face. He’d lost his chance. She was moving on. He'd seen it in her eyes, a distant look that spoke volumes. The girl who had confessed her feelings to him was gone, replaced by a stranger who treated him with polite indifference. Regret washed over him in waves. He'd let fear dictate his actions, and now he was paying the price. He'd lost her, and with her, a part of himself. He retreated into his room, the walls closing in around him. The world outside seemed to fade into insignificance. All that remained was the echo of her laughter and the weight of his own failure.

The bus made an abrupt stopped and the doors hissed open, revealing the imposing structure of the Choosing Ceremony building. A new chapter was about to begin…For both of them.

[lyopichiisai]

As the Iron Heart

NOTES: I've been playing a DnD campaign for the last 3 years, this is my fica about my character backstory and situations that were left... for the imagination. Dnd usually is a way to cope with my stresses. So I had 2 options, develop maladaptive daydreaming, or imagining and writing fics, now we get this :D

[P.S sorry if english bad, me no english good sometimes]

Rated: Mature, maybe, idk, 16+ just to be sure

TW: trauma, loss, child death (kinda descriptive), grief, some descriptions of blood and wounds, be aware!

Ch 1. Wounded Friend

"Aida..?" A male voice calls. Its a deep voice, strangely sweet for how low it goes. Sunddenly a warm touch on the shoulder. "Aida, are you good?". It calls again.

It's a friendly touch, only the tips of large fingers, as if it was afraid of the proximity with her shoulder.

Only one of her eyes opens, a mossy green iris reflecting the cold sky, her left eye is covered by a thin piece of cloth wrapped around her head, the cotton fabric has been dazzled with medical oils. That's not the first time she senses these aromas. They were a common fragance through her lessons in herbology. Her Ma made sure to teach her every little detail about it. "Magic can heal, yes, but treating an infection or desease in traditional ways are necessary in such a small village. We don't have many healers, it takes one undead's bite to stop someone from recovering magically". Aida heard this lesson at thirteen years old.

She tries to sit up and Marshall got her back, her head still spins and the deep cuts on her face keep pulsating painfully.

"What.. where are the others?" She says, her voice is fragile. "Marshall, are they-"

"They are alright. Don't worry" he responds fast, then a quiet laugh. "You try acting all tough, but as soon as your patrol goes wrong, you ask for the others before looking at yourself. You should respect your limits more." He crosses his arms on hid chest.

"For real? You'll give me fucking life advises right now?" A sarcastic breath comes out. "You're unbelievable, Marsh."

He caress her back as she holds the bedsheets a little tighter. She knows she fucked up this time. She looks back at the male figure next to her. A human male with a full dark-brown beard, an earring on the right ear, shaved head. Dark circles around his eyes, probably from taking care of the village affairs.

"Joy was caring you back, you know?"

"I didn't asked to be brought back, did I?" Marshall looks at her, ready to ask if she feels better.

"Don't." Her tone is agressive, but he knows her too well to know why. "Just leave me here a while, with my sad ass and my regrets and.... fuck" tears are rolling down her cheeks, but she is inconsolable. Without Elryn and Brie, it was hard to do anything about her, really.

"You want to talk about-"

"I said don't" her tone is firm while interrupting him. She looks back at her hands, her vision blurried from the tears. "It was that bad..?" She holds the bedsheets once more, looking now through the window, seeing her reflection.

She also has dark circles, but for a different reasons. Living on a small village next to the montains can be dangerous, so everyone has a role in taking care of Ick Mak, but Aida took things a step too far. She lost control over her patrols, getting to the forest way more then it was recommended. Foul creatures lured on those woods, Crimson marked ones. One bite or scratch can turn you into a monster. Call it a curse, a disease, or a punishment, it was a death sentence. It was what took Brie from her. A small, crystal like wound that never heals. It gives an intoxicating fever and a rough pain throughout the body.

The crimson Mark.

Aida still remember the smell. Burned flesh mixed with a nausiating blood scent. "It" was not her daughter. Not her precious little Ladybug, not her moon and stars. It wasn't Brie, it couldn't. She was fine, she didn't get a scratch or a bite, how did it happened? How? She wasn't there when Brie was forced to stay in the house, well aware of jer fate. It's all her fault.

"Your mother did a fine job with the surture, if that's what you want to ask. Tho it will be a large scar." He knows she can take the news about her disfigured face.

"It came from the old mine, used to be a montain lion, large mark on its back, probably level 2 infection." Her tone is professional now, the analysis of a specialist that dedicated years of patrols to identify and kill these beasts. Her favorite prey, as if killing one by one would vengence her late daughter.

He sighs, there she is, this version that can only talk in ranger language. The one shifting her feeling for a hunt, for revange.

"We'll keep an eye out, it might be close still." He gives her shoulder a thigh squeeze. "You better get your ass better before even thinking about it"

"Even if I wanted to, you, Joy and Dhalia would probably stop me anyway, bunch of pebbles in my shoes" as snarky as she sounds, he knows its just a deflection.

If it was any one of them getting as badly hurt as she got, Aida would've been carrying them across the contient to save them. She made a promise after all.

Elryn was her promise, her late husband. Marshall was Brie's blessed guardian if, heavens forbid, something happened to her parents. Elryn's death was Aida's promise, Ick Mak would remain intact, it would grow and prosper as long as Aida could be responsible for it, sharing its tasks with her folks and friends alike.

She still takes care of her home, in a distant and self deprecating way, but deep down she couldn't stop carrying about Ick Mak.

As the silence settled between them, Aida looks back at Marshall, face still swollen from tears and the new wound she got. From how much she was hurt in body and soul, she kept a subtle smile, deep down, even if it looked like she wanted to die or didn't care for herself, she was glad to be breathing. Even if it stings her lungs to remember the pain of loosing, she wanted to be there.

"I'll get some sleep, can you give our little green guy a 'thank you' kiss?" Looking at her thay way, for a second, Marshall saw the old Aida. His best friend's wife, his partner in drink and games. The way she played with her words to make everyone unconfortably laugh with cheeks burning from her direct and even flirtatious tone.

"Maybe you could return the favor, with a beer at the Sleeping Oak"

"Sure, then I'll give him a kissy kissy from saving the damsel in distress" she laughs.

"Don't you mean rag in distress" he laughs back.

"Pardon my Elvish, but pukta nornye" She smiles faking being offended.

As he stands up from the chair next to the bed, he wraps his arm next to her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"We are glad you're here."

Her lips curls on a subtle smile, it's an akward one. She is and is not happy at the same time. To live in constant pain is a kind of hell on itself. Marshall waves her a quick goodbye before closing the door on the infermary room of Aida's house.

Her chest feels heavy again, being alone and quiet is an open invitation for her mind to linger deeper into her sorrow.

Voices call her out for her faults, the blame is umberable. A deep breath and her cold persona comes back.

She stands up, her head spins with the sudden motion. She gets a mirror next to the medical cabinet. Untying her bandages, Aida takes a close look at the looking glass. Her dark circles seems bigger and more tired than she remembered, her mossy green eye takes notice of its pair, closed and badly bruised. Her skin is colored with a sickned red from the bottom of her jaw, going on a diagonal, passing on her nose bridge to her forehead getting really close to her right eyebrow, spliting in an Y shape from the cheek to her left eyebrow. How lucky, her left eye is swollen shut, but she can see the light through her eyelids.

The other scar running through her lips is long, but it didn't got swollen or form a keloid. It's just a red line across her smile. a present gifted by the wild animal. Her eye was way worst in comparison.

A mess. A lost kid in the woods, trying to hunt when clearly she was the prey. She remembers bits and pieces, after getting the creature to backoff using a thorn growth spell, two of the other rangers in patrol saw her almost passing out near the south river. Joy quickly meet her and carried her, she was so small compared to him, a 6.8ft half-orc with dark green skin, large thusks going over his top lip, brown eyes, a full dark, almost black beard and pointy ears.

She can't figure out what he whispered to her, but she was sure it was a worried pray for the gods. He's embrace was strong and fearful, he didn't want to see her loose herself like that, not by this level of self destruction.

"I'm here" she whispers, recolecting the words of that big half-orc, remembering how sad Joy got seeing her, his friend, badly injuried.

______________________________________________________________

thanks if you read it!

[little-cereal-draws]

I’ve seen a lot of posts abt how wonderful it is when Neurodivergent ppl live together bc they finally understand each other and don’t have to deal w neurotypical living expectations. Well here’s an angry three am rant abt my experience as an autistic living w an autistic roommate. (This is just my personal experience that I need to get out)

—

He stims vocally a lot and it really bothers me. I can’t focus on my work, especially writing, but I don’t want to stop him bc I know how important it is

He plays video games until 3am most nights (including rn) and I’m so sleep deprived that I want to cry all the time and almost fall asleep as soon as I sit down but I don’t want to tell him to stop bc I know those are his special interests. I know first hand how soul crushing it is to be told u can’t engage w ur special interests so I let him do it

He’ll have the tv, his laptop, and phone all playing different things at the same time and forget doing my work, I can’t even be in the same room. It’s too much. But I don’t want to tell him to stop bc that’s stimulus he’s needs Ig

I know a lot of ppl have trouble w temperature regulation and he’s got a space heater that’s on 24/7, even when he’s not home. I live in the south and it’s summer now so it’s around 80-90 degrees every day but I’ll come home and it’s even hotter in our room. Walking in feels like getting slapped in the face w the sun. I think it baked my plant alive bc even tho I got one that could survive heat, it’s crispy and white like a ghost. I didn’t even know plants could do that. But he also always wears a hoodie and jeans no matter how hot it is so maybe he’s cold all the time. Idk

He’s got no spatial awareness. He likes to do his projects on the floor and completely spreads out so I can’t access my bed, night table, food, or supplies. His stuff already takes up 2/3 of the room anyway but this makes me dance and tiptoe around his projects for days on end

Adding onto that last point, he doesn’t remember things very well. And I know that’s not his fault but it’s so annoying to come home and he’s done his share of the chores but didn’t put the cleaning supplies away. Or he’s ironed his clothes but left the ironing board out in the middle of the room. He finally washed his dishes today that had been overflowing from the sink for eight months. And I know executive disfunction can be a bitch but I’m so tired of not even being able to wash a single fork bc there’s no more space in the sink

And the lights,,,, I know a lot of ppl have sensory issues w overhead lights but it’s so frustrating when I’m obviously working on a project, putting fine details on a still life or whatever, and he just turns the light off. I can’t work in the dark but I know what a pain lights can be so I just let him do it

And he’s a good guy and is nice and all that but I can not wait to move out. And I’m not blaming him for any of this, it’s 100% on me and I know it. I haven’t expressed my displeasure for these things or asked him to change so I shouldn’t expect him to magically know what I’m thinking. I’m too much of an anxious ppl pleaser to assert any boundaries

[ykaarus]

Hi! Writing through here because I thought it was a bit strange to continue the conversation on that post. I meant to tell you that the detail you mention (implying that Tav looks happier and healthier) is particularly appealing to me because I'm more into the more positive side of the kink anyway, the one that sees WG as a sign of happiness, hedonism and self-acceptance (?) I don't know if any of that makes sense.

yes!!!! me too!!!!! I don't enjoy things pushed too far also. like I myself always done a lot of sports for my entire live, and I'm still training, focusing on body building (ironic ain't it) but it's mostly like I just work out a lot and let myself eat whatever I feel like eating tho I don't eat junk at all, I mostly mean quantity. either way, I like wg and related kinks mentioned as a positive thing, worshipping someone's body, showing desire and love for it etc etc. tho I do like sometimes some tropes with shame or some teasing etc etc but I mostly enjoy thinking about some hurt/angst to comfort cuz idk it warms me in many ways. also because that's what my life is lacking, I'd like to feel sometimes that even if I gain weight I'm still attractive for my s/o etc etc. cuz it's like I feel fine with myself but when she isn't showing that she wants me and my body in any ways I get insecure and I find a lot of comfort in such tropes as the one I mentioned and also in seeing wg as something positive like in that shadowheart's dialogue!:)

[loulines]

I got my anniversaries mixed up.

Fuck.

Not that it matters. The thing on June 21st was something I confessed to someone which started a series of things that made me end up in therapy. Still ironic.

My fandom anniversary is about a week later. Can't really remember when exactly anymore.

Again, it doesn't matter.

I survived my first ever therapy session, that's what matters.

Normally I wouldn't write about it, in fact I haven't really felt like talking about the details for the couple of days, not even to my friends. My family doesn't even know I went there.

The only reason why I want to publicly speak about it is because I know there are many people like me who are struggling and on the verge of breaking apart, but they're too afraid to start therapy, or procrastination and executive dysfunction are kicking their ass. I can only hope to inspire at least one person.

I'd rather not talk about how I even got to that point aside from the thing I mentioned earlier because this should stay private. But it was that and also years of other unfortunate events that shaped me into the miserable wreck I am today.

I've been considering starting therapy when things were still somewhat "not great not terrible", but since I was terrified of talking to anyone, I did everything I could to not find a specialist.

Then, when I actually seriously considered getting the appointment, I have already done things I was even more scared to talk about with a stranger because therapist or not, the last thing I needed was to have someone confirm that I did morally wrong and unforgivable things...

And of course living in a hell of a homophobic country doesn't help either.

Hundreds of mental breakdowns later, and buckets of tears I've cried, my irl friend told me that I should really look for someone to help me. My first reaction was of course, "no way I will do it," but then she told me that she's looking for a therapist herself too. And she told me about her ways to look for someone.

So eventually I spent some time on research, wrote down some names and then left it like that without making an appointment.

It was fine. I did the first step anyway and that was what mattered. A few days later I was getting out of another meltdown and then I just... I grabbed my ipad, went back to the list and made an appointment with the therapist that "seemed" to be the best for me.

And that was it.

I almost started crying while I was signing up because it felt like I was making a life changing decision. And idk... Maybe because I finally agreed with myself to get the professional help I've been avoiding so much in the past.

On the day of the appointment I was stressed AF but it hit the catalyst 15 minutes before. I thought I would pass out and I don't know if it was my nerves or the heatwave or both.

And then it happened. Again, I don't want to share any details. Some things got clearer right away and made me feel calm now, the rest is still confusing. I definitely need more sessions. I might attend them feeling less stressed though. Hopefully.

I don't want to draw any conclusions now. I don't want to examine myself in search of finding immediate changes in me and my POV... That's gonna take a while and just because I've been feeling slightly better for a few days and not s**c*d*l (as usual) doesn't mean I'm already fixed. I'm not. I'm still beyond broken and more than confused.

Tbh I know absolutely nothing about mental health. All the attempts at trying to understand what is happening to me or others were only making things worse. I used to think I can DIY my own therapy without stepping out of my comfort zone. I cannot.

Had I started therapy earlier, say 8 months earlier, maybe I would be in a very different situation right now. And the people that were affected by my mental fuck up would be as well. Maybe things would be so much better now. I will never know. Time can't go in reverse, what's done is done. The only thing I can do now is to trust a specialist and hope I chose the right one.

And wait.

For days, weeks, months, maybe years...

Until life is good again.

[saltynsassy31]

orca sanitization story pls 🍽️

Soooo okay!

One thing I had seen quite often was the hospital theme when it came to OE, from fanart to aus, and with good reason too, the concept art looked really cool!

And I took a similar approach to Orca, he's, for the most part, an experiment. I haven't thought of the smaller details about it, all I know is that he got kidnapped as a kid and only really remembers living down there.

His time there is also a blur to me but he got partially sanitised, he got freed a bit after Hachi and his friends did, mostly after the NSS investigated further and found him along with whatever remaining survivors of the deeper, underground experiments.

They managed to remove most of the sanitisation on him, having not fully taken affect but it still did take a toll on his physical form.

Now, idk how canon this is, it's mostly observations I had, but I guess it would be accurate to call it a headcanon.

But basically, from what we know, sanitisation is basically a form of zombification. They don't seem to have any heart beat and are mindlessly following an objective? That sounds like zombification to me!

Orca being partially sanitised has affected him slightly, more similar to deadf1sh than agent 3, but still kinda in my own funky way cuz he was still an experiment (100% an excuse to bullshit my way through this and make shit up lol).

He still has this need to follow orders and follow a pattern, thus his obsession with grizzco work and disdain for turfing/ranked battles, sure it has a general rule but people are unpredictable! And really disorganised in his opinion, grizzco is kind of a mindles grinding and although its recommended, he doesn't really need to depend on his coworkers, there is more but I think you get the point XD.

He has a very, VERY weak heart beat, to the point that when he sleeps it's practically non-existent, which can give unsuspecting people a mini heart attack XD, when he exercises a lot his heartbeat is the same beat as a normal heartbeat and it never goes beyond that. It makes him a bit sleepier than normal and is more prone to fainting in high stress (which is ironic considering what his job intels lol but he feels more at ease doing grizzco so it's very rare he'd faint during work).

This is also a reason why he avoids the hospital like the plague, cuz he doesn't want people freaking out about his little condition and he's scared he'll be experimented on.

Yeah, so, since I'm taking the hospital approach of OE he also has an irrational fear of hospitals, like, he doesn't even go a mile radius near hospitals and rather treat whatever injury or illness he has himself, it's a phobia of his.

He told his friends everything they need to know as to why that is and told them to only take him to the hospital as the last option.

He has some medical knowledge that he taught them just to avoid going.

And as I mentioned, the sanitisation also left him needing glasses, mostly cuz I think it would have damaged some of his cells, taking in the zombification HC, but not enough to blind him, he can see just fine with glasses.

His blood is also permanently an ugly green/teal color, no matter what ink color he goes with (you can see that by the color of the inside of his mouth always being the same cor as the tips of his fingers/ears/hair).

[gemsofthegalaxy]

tbh i agree with Sarah Z

. acting like no celebrity Could be queerbaiting when their public image is a carefully crafted by a marketing team is like.... silly. it is fully possible that someone who is straight and cis and does not personally feel a connection to an ambiguous or otherwise queer aesthetic might still dress like that or make queer-seeming media etc, in order to get the queer audience dollars

but, ultimately, it's not worth it to try to snoop and speculate and drag people through the mud for not "coming out" or forcing them out of the closet, because that is a very shitty thing to do, and people don't deserve for it to happen to them.

thinking specifically of Becky Albertalli and queer creators, i do think it's challenging when it comes to trying to critique a depiction of queerness by taking the author's own sexuality and intent into account. because, well, looking into authorial intent and the circumstances around someone's writing is not an unfair thing to do. to compare it to something that may be similar, like. if a white person from California is writing about/from the perspective of a black person from the south, personally i think it might be worthwhile or at least relevant to know that the author is white and from California when evaluating how you feel, or how well you think the author did with their subject matter. it is NOT to say the white person from California shouldn't have touched the topic with a ten foot pole, they very well may have done an excellent job with their story, but those details are still relevant when it comes to understanding the text in some ways. maybe.

i don't disagree that it gets heated and nasty, though, because it did when it came to Albertalli's work, she was lambasted as a straight writer catering to a straight audience with a gay love story. but she isn't straight. and, well, she's still not a gay man, but... believe it or not, even queer people can write queer media that some queer people hate (lol)

tangent: i fucking haaateed the movie The Kids Are All Right and low and behold, one of the directors was a whole lesbian. i was surprised! it seemed like such a fucking shitty and annoying depiction of a lesbian couple (including scenes where a lesbian who proclaims she's exclusively a lesbian sleeps with a man several times. no mention of the notion she might be bisexual. the lesbians also watch gay male porn which i guess was supposed to be transgressive and showing that sexuality was complex, but to me it was so eye-roll worthy like what's wrong with showing women who are... into women? sorry im getting off track. maybe there are lesbians who love this movie. im bisexual so /shrug)

anyway. unfortunately, being queer does not mean you will tell an amazing queer story. and knowing an author is queer does not mean you have to like the way queerness was used in the story even if you think it was bad. but, still, i am usually more likely to at least be lighter with criticism if i know the author depicting the story is of the same community or has lived experience, even if i still dislike the overall depiction. maybe that unfairly absolves them of a shitty story, idk. btw this isnt to say Simon vs the Homo Sapiens was bad, it was, like, fine tbh. some of the plot points annoyed me, but that's common in YA novels by now. one of my advisors who is a gay man really loved it so that also made me like it more bc it was cute seeing how much he enjoyed it (ironically, lol)

not sure where i was going with this anymore. but it's an interesting, challenging topic to address "real people queerbaiting". ultimately i think it CAN be done, by celebrities who are crafting an image to market to fans, but that it's not worth the harm of pushing people out of the closet to try to "stop" the "problem" from occuring.

[junebuggeryy]

The thing about Apple White is that the story sets her up to be deranged in such a way that makes perfect sense for the lore. I feel like the desire to follow the previously established story isn’t entirely something that’s invalid, but I feel like the royal storyline clearly kind of drowned in its own initial conflict especially as like… The lines got blurrier, but like. The fact that there are enough details in world to understand why Apple might cling to it, like the fact that she’s got an immediate connection to the Charmings and her mother’s incredibly industrious background as well as just like…

The promise that she’s going to live happily ever after, the fact that her story is considered the epitome of fairytales in setting and how she essentially can’t imagine how anyone wouldn’t want that for her. She easily stands out as a character because of the fact that she obviously has a lot of toxic traits, but I feel like they do come from such a like “pure” place to use language from an earlier post. She can’t imagine why people wouldn’t want what she wants at first and wants to help even though her idea of helping is a flawed premise. I think Apple as a representative of the Royals is really interesting in that way with her and Darling serving as an excellent potential frame work for like… The “rebranding” of the Royals in a sense where they get to play out their roles, now changed, rather than oppose the Rebels.

But yeah like, the dichotomy really did fall apart because by the end of the Wonderland arc they all have to agree its too dangerous for the facilitating artefact to even exist and that fundamentally it’s better to let people choose their own fate so like. If they wanted one then they really needed to build around it a little more coherently, but I think just letting the initial dichotomy die and replacing it with something else would have been fine! It might even have given them excuse to rebrand their dolls and update their designs and sell more of them if that’s the point. Anyway, hi again

Hello Lovely Followers It's Still Ever After High Hours.

hi again. these are some damn good thoughts, and i think you're completely right? this is perhaps an ironic point, but stories are supposed to evolve. i could absolutely see a version where the initial conflict of the royals changed shape, and Apple and Darling got to rewrite what it means to hold the power they do. i would have loved to see the "royals" name change to mean something new rather than peter out, and im sure it could have even been worked into whatever marketing/doll design goals were required to keep the show running? but these things are easier said than done, i suppose

anyway, im ECSTATIC you bring up the wonderland arc, as i have a comical amount to say about it. in general, the wonderland arc feels like the point where the story stops being about challenging oppressive power structures, and starts implicitly preserving them. it makes sense for raven to want to help protect her friend's mom, the Queen of Hearts, and i dont think it was even a bad story arc? but i do think its notable that Courtly is the first time we see someone trying to change their world's power structure is painted as unequivocally bad. and it's not as if EAH's Queen of Hearts is a particularly kind version of the titular ruler, either? then, by the time we get to epic winter, the villains are explicitly servants that no longer want to live in servitude, and are acting out, and this is not commented on at all.

idk. maybe you could argue that Courtly is someone taking advantage of an unstable system? but i am biased and Courtly Jester is forever my #problematic fave. i have a known soft spot for clown terrorists.

i do wish they had written different exit for the storybook of legends? if i recall correctly, Apple finally voted to get rid of it because she was afraid of someone signing their name into the wrong page and stealing a destiny- which, honestly, i still find to be a fascinating piece of worldbuilding, and to be a concern in-keeping with Apple's character? but it feels like only one piece of a larger puzzle. it just, feels weird to have the defeating blow to the Storybook of Legends™️, and it's societal hold over people, to be the preservation of tradition. maybe the writers felt they had already done a thorough job of tackling the ways being trapped in tradition was bad for these characters, and needed a new reason to get rid of it? but- IDEK. i feel like there may have been better options.

honestly, it feels like the thing that's missing from EAH are the Royals expressing empathy or understanding for situations outside of their own? which, honestly, isn't really a complaint- the show's about teenagers, and it makes sense they would be a little myopic! hell, that's why Apple takes it so personally.

that being said, i do think its notable that i can't think of a single Royal that didn't turn over to the Rebel side for a reason outside their own destiny, from wanting to date a non-prince charming, to not desiring to be comatose for a century. maybe this could have been Apple? our girl with nothing to complain about, our girl being offered the most heavenly future she could imagine, deciding that her guarantee at a perfect life isn't worth it if it requires that her friends must suffer.

again, that's the Apple in my heart. idek. i feel like im talking a lot about broad strokes potentials and story building rather than canon characterization? even through all this, i still love what we got of this dumb silly fantasy highschool show, lol.

[featureenvyproductions]

eyan eternal chapter 9

that's right 2 chapters in one week (and hopefully more). if it seems like i'm spitting these out with reckless disregard for my sanity, that's because i am, mostly because i took the week off and i'm trying to churn out as much of this as humanly possible during it. i'm going to a con in late march next year and i want to take this with me (or at least one half if i decide to do two print volumes) so it's gotta get done asap.

this chapter was originally combined with the last chapter, but I thought it felt more natural to split them up and oh also GUESS WHAT. YOU CANT ESCAPE FLASHBACKS :))))))

There's something they talk about here called "impression speech". I feel like the basic concept of it can be inferred from the dialogue, but I intend to revisit it (and we need to revisit Zero's painting as well) in another post. For now, just understand that it's like a combination of VR and technology-assisted telepathy. And you'll see from this point on that Eyan, as an undead entity, has issues INTEGRATING with technology. I haven't really ironed out the details but my headcanon is that his issues with interacting with light as a vampire go farther than just "can't be in direct sunlight" and "doesn't have a reflection" (listen i know "ej vampires didn't have a reflection in old timey mirrors bc silver and purity and blah blah" yeah i know but i needed this to be Interesting and plus, all this shit in this comic was either made in special clean rooms or doesn't have microbes that are the same as ones that existed on earth in our era so it's fine shhh) and extend to like, interacting with electromagnetic radiation in general. idk. like i said still working out the kinks...

Anyway i fucked around with it. Basically while anyone else with a face chip has it as an optional device to make certain functions and augmented reality interactions easier (like projecting holograms, translating, or communicating over distances), Eyan NEEDS his to even interact with almost all technology on the Destiny, including the holograms and anything that uses infrared technology, like some automatic doors. In a world where everyone has seamlessly integrated their bodies, particularly their brains, with virtual interfaces and sub-speech communication technology, Eyan is a fish out of water and is at a HUGE disadvantage.

as usual you can find the other chapters here: #Eyan Eternal or on my site

thanks for reading~

[seoafin]

i can see it. barou working out in a dimly lit room all huffing puffing with his earphones plug in, and when someone ask what he is listening to bc he has that one serious face on…it's lacrimosa or moonlight sonata, by next week violinist!mc and him would be sitting tgt and discuss classical music or sth.

ironically, the next person who i can imagine to somehow get along with violinist!mc would be,, shidou. (idk why but admitting to liking him is kinda embarrassing, maybe it's bc of that scene in the u20 match LMFAO). not sure how when and why but they might be on a amicable term, considering that shidou top subject next to p.e is actually art…maybe he'll understand mc's grind and it somehow fell onto his whole speech thing

i gotta get this out, but how petty is violinist!mc even tho it has been 6 years, is she still bitter to the point that even on a 50%-70% discount day for shoes brands, if she saw either nagi or reo the first thing she walked in to the store as the store's wallpaper (they're the brand ambassador or sth) will she just turn on her heels and left then and there to find another brand instead 😭 and considering that mc may or may not went big (she's in the states?? i think?? bc you wrote "Times Square").

is she still playing violin on a stage/ competition, or has she branch out her like making osts for movies/ games/ etc. and why did nagi even suddenly thought of her after all those years and become a pining wife when her husband left for the sea. ,, if that's counted as spoiler for future chaps…then it's fine to leave us in the dark!!!

your fic never failed to reel ppl in, including me,, sth abt your writing style are so HFGDHGDGHVH

pls rion is absolutely gorg…her EYELASHES!!!!, when that director guy spill the beans i never been felt gobsmack…i thought that maybe she's in a 3rd party of the assassination community or sth instead of…[redacted].

and now that you point out, i have no idea why but i immediately link nagumo and the faceless men from GoT tgt???? probs its bc they are assassins but when you broke him down i just…connected sth…and idk why. tho i rly agree, that he's not entirely a blank slate, like he does have a personality before sth in the JCC flashback arc makes him on that 404 error personality if someone try to pry + that bloodlust scene in the temple when the guy pissed him off

chrollo and nagumo before the narrative sent them into a spiral are so!!!! they are my meow meows (but if i saw someone drag them in a post i probably would be laughing along tho dhfvbhdbhd like get their ass!!), the baby phantom troupes past are so TwT… - 🐱

spoilers for my nagireo fic

help not shidou.......but honestly i feel like any character that acknowledges violinmc's commitment and passion for the violin would immediately get along with her. she's the type to backtrack once they compliment her. she would definitely think shidou is a delinquent but then he says something about how her form was beautiful and she's like well. i was mistaken about him. but yes she's petty as hell but also there's off the screen character development bc she later acknowledges that the two of them were just kids and she was (un)rightfully hurt and immature about nagi making other friends LMAO

she issss in the states <3333 well briefly. i think after high school she went to a conservatory in germany and then played in various different orchestras as first chair. haven't ironed out those details yet. i think nagi has always kept violinmc in his mind lmao and tidbit i really really wanna add to a later drabble is that nagi was watching mc's performances on his phone in bllk. i think it'd just be very nagi esque for him to one day just go. yeah. i should talk to her. no rhyme or reason. one day it hits him how much he wants to see her again.

ahhfhhwbgbwe i love rion. i want to write the gayest drabble ever featuring that line of hers about how you can learn a lot about a person by tasting their tears or smt??? is that not the gayest thing ever.

[the-blivyverse]

Have I talked about her before? Idk.... Buuuuuuuuuut, I FINALLY have a name for the character I codenamed Artist for a while! Her name is Tess. Mostly got the idea from how younger me was obsessed with that name and wanted to go by it (I don't want to anymore but I still think it's a very pretty name). Her last name has been lost to time and she never really cared about it enough to remember. ... I'm mostly using that as an exuse not to come up with one 👍

So as her code name already explains, Tess is an artist. She's also been dead for a good millenia now if not longer. The place she occupies doesn't really keep track of time sooooo......

One of the solid foundations of my idea for her is that she was a very normal and average person when she was alive but she was happy. Like she lived out on the countryside some place peaceful and nothing big or crazy every really happened to her. She just painted and sketched and maybe made jam and soup. A real cottagecore life right there. She also never did anything with her art. Not to say that's a bad thing. She just drew for herself and made art because it made her happy. She also was very good friends with her neighbors and all that jazz. Bottom line, her life was completely peaceful and overall, not that exciting but she doesn't regret anything and in her eyes, she had a good life.

Now the real juicy interesting stuff happens after she dies. Idk how she dies like idk if I want her to die of old age or have her die youngish due to some tragic accident that was no one's fault. I'll work on that later....

So when Tess dies, something in the afterlife and dimensional continium fucks up real bad and her soul accidently ends up in a place outside reality and the land of the deceased. I don't have a name for it so I kind of just call it the Library but I might end up making that its actual name idk.

The Library is basically like this BIIIIIIIIIIIIIG infinite archive of books that hold the history of all dimensions (when I say all dimensions I mostly mean just information on all my other stories but depending on the context and what I write about concerning the Library it can include information on dimensions and worlds of media I'm hyperfixated on too). And the caretaker and owner of the Library is the Librarian who also still needs a name but Librarian is her code name right now. Literally all I have for how she looks is that she kind of looks like an owl and she has those librarian glasses with the chains on them. I doubt I've talked about her before and I'm too lazy to go and check but she's a god and her godly profession is maintaining the library and recording the events of different worlds and filing said information away. She's also got this observation room where she can spectate on the ongoings of different worlds and it has some mystical big pool or crystal ball or something in it idk she's still a big WIP and I'm still ironing out all the details and you knowwwww.... Long story short, she's one of those beings that has a big archive containing the history of everything and everyone like the Chronicler from The Legend of Spyro. Oh also, important, her library can't tell the future and only the present and the past. She also rolls her eyes at the notion of future sight.

Sooooooo Tess shows up here and she's understandably confused and the Librarian is like "You're not supposed to be here who the hell are you????" so she puts Tess in some room like a kid who was just found wandering lost around a building and has been put in a breakroom while somone goes and tries to find their parents. I don't have this next bit fine lined yet, but she ends up leaving the room and poking around in the books on some world and gets some inspiration for a drawing and draws out a scene from this supposed innocent little book which she doesn't know are actual real events in some world. And the Librarian sees it and is like "... Huh. That's a pretty good drawing actually." and one thing leads to another and Tess is allowed to stay in the Library and she and the Librarian become friends. So now Tess spends eternity keeping the Librarian company and watching/reading events happen in worlds and makes paintings and drawings of them whenever inspiration or motivation strikes. She even has a section of the library for her art gallery.

She also makes friends with the sentinels in the library(basically a bunch of magical securty guards that serve as a defense against intruders) and chats and plays board games with them on occasion when they aren't busy. Board games can range from chess to a whole slew of other games she's learned about from different dimensions. She becomes very skilled at pretty much all board and card games in existence after a while. Not to mention her art skills continue to improve over the thousands of years she's been in the library.

I'm unsure when exactly she starts doing this, but she eventually gets the privelage of visiting worlds with certain restrictions in place. She can't interfere in the plots of those worlds or tell inhabitants of said worlds things they aren't supposed to know about or anything like that. She also has to be careful when visiting worlds because the only places she's able to go are places within liminal space. She's still dead and if she were to wander outside a liminal space while in a world, she'd be at the mercy of the laws of death of that world and the Librarian would be unable to help her as it would be outside her juristiction as a god after that.

It used to just be an idea but I think I most likely will end up making her become a god of creativity, wonder, art, and the joy and happiness that comes with creating at some point. She'll no longer have to worry about getting stuck in some other world's afterlife after that. She'll also be like, the new dawn of creator gods when that happens. I'm too lazy to go into detail on that right now...

[hyper-homo-reblogs]

i am so tired and also posting this on my rb account because i don't want anyone who isn't like. following following me to see it

rant/vent? under the cut? idk im just. rambling. about how i may to may not be neurodivergent. im trying to figure stuff out and im hoping that if i put it here i can maybe clear my head a bit.

im. like 90% sure i have social anxiety. that's a given though ig. most people prolly dont feel their hearts start to actually hurt when going somewhere by urself with ppl you dont know. and um. im scared of talking to people. like irrationally terrified. and it may be a consequence of me being at home all the time but honestly idk.

i think i may have adhd. i dont have a comprehensive list of everything that i do that i think is a part of adhd behaviour but. everytime i see someone mention something that is supposedly a symptom of adhd im like hey! i do that! and im starting to think its not a coincidence anymore?

BUT at the same time i feel like im. idk trying to convince myself. for some reason. like maybe im not, maybe im just connecting dots that aren't really there, maybe im trying to fool myself into thinking that im different. it doesn't help that i don't really have a reason to care about whether or not im neurodivergent. im doing fine, and im not struggling at all, so does it even matter?

idk. idk if it even matters if it should matter. does that make sense? like maybe if i want to know, then that's reason enough for me to start questioning things. but is that a valid reason to essentially self diagnose? i feel like maybe im undermining somebody else's experiences by just. saying that i might have adhd.

anyways. i think i have the inattentive type of adhd. i don't get hyperactive very often (ironic, considering my user and the general tone that i present myself with here). a lot of my symptoms match up with the inattentive type of adhd. pretty much every website lists the same things (lack of attention to detail, trouble staying focused, frequent spiciness, difficulty following instructions, being easily distracted, forgetfulness, etc) and i always feel like. yeah everyone does that. i always do that. are you sure that that's an adhd thing. it feels obvious!!! but it isn't!!! so maybe i do have it!!! maybe!!!

its. ive also started questioning if my fam is neurodivergent too. just because a lot of the stuff associate with them doesn't seem to be neurotypical. and again im stuck with the issue of like. is that fine to do? to question if they are or aren't neurotypical? because. i think my mom has the hyperactive type of adhd. or maybe both. and my dad may be on the autism spectrum. and my sister may be as well. but it feels bad to write that down!! i don't think it should feel bad to write but it does!! because what if i don't actually know them!! what if my brain is lying to me!! i don't know anymore!!

one of the top 10 things my mom likes to say is that we don't think like each other. my mom and my dad don't think the same. me and my sister don't think the same. me and my mom don't think the same. and it rlly rlly shows, in how we communicate and how we argue. and it is genuinely so frustrating sometimes. but NOBODY thinks the same, right? because its all. a result of circumstance. or whatever. and nobody's BRAINS works the same. but isn't that the point?? of the distinction between neurotypical and neurodivergent people?? are we all neurodivergent?? are only some of us?? are none of us?? I HAVE NO IDEA

okay. rant over. im. still tired. and still havent figured anything out but maybe ill come back to this later.