#idk what was up with the brackets hahaha

[sterredem]

The eras tour

Charles leclerc x reader

[SMAU]

Face claim gracie abrams (again)

Summary going to Paris night 1 with Charles is a lot of fun, with a lot of surprises.

Word count -

Warning hate (just a few comments), spelling errors, not proofread

A/N saw a post saying someone should make this… so I did! I saw the tour on a crappie live stream so I know what was going on… I will also go to the tour!

It’s not the longest but also not the shortest. But I like it!

Also I had no motivation to make the things I am currently making so I decided to make a quick smau (that’s why it is only insta and no other apps)

Don’t forget to comment, repost and give feedback! It helps a lot!

Instagram

Liked by Charles_Leclerc and 225.839 others

Yourusername me rn cause I NEED Taylor Swift tickets but ticketmaster is the worst😭 also creds to my bf for these pics, he is laughing at me while I am STRESSING @Charles_Leclerc

View all 1.836 comments

Charles_Leclerc I said that I’m sorry! I even helped you!

Yourusername YOU DIDNT DO ENOUGH!! I STILL HAVE NO TICKETS!😢

Charles_Leclerc I promise I will make it up to you

Lilymhe For which show are you trying? I have tickets for New Jersey and there is still a spare one!

Yourusername I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU! I tried Paris but I was last in the waiting list so there where no more tickets🙁 and sadly I can’t go to the US one’s liked by lilymhe

User1 you’re so real for crying I’ve the tickets. I did too

Yourusername THATS WHAT I SAID! BUT CHARLES JUST LAUGHED AT ME!

User1 you deserve the tickets babe liked by author

User2 Love the memes

User3 is that Leo?!?! Hes so cute!

Yourusername That is! He was my emotional support!

User4 ticketmaster is the villain fr! I was at the beginning and I could almost buy tickets but then u was kicker out!

Yourusername My villain origin story fr! And that’s the wort!

User5 love the hat

User6 you are still so pretty when you cry! How?!?!

Yourusername THANKS! IDK HOW I JUST HIDE MY SADNESS

User 6 HAHAHA REAL

User7 it really is hell! But I got tickets!

Yourusername Congratulations my love!

User8 charles laughing at you is so funny😂

User9 Ew you’re so cringe

User10 I love you

User11 not the pic creds and shade HAHAHA

User12 not her public account being her posting memes😂

User13 don’t understand why Charles is with you

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Instagram

Liked by Charles_Leclerc and 392.728 others

Yourusername MY BF GOT ME ERAS TOUR TICKETS!!! I LOVE YOU CHARLIE! Eras tour Paris night 1 here I come!!

View all 3.738 comments

Charles_Leclerc Everything for you mon amour. Even if I need to spend hundreds of dollars for VIP tickets to the eras tour

Yourusername I am beginning to love you more and more

Lilymhe OMG I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!

Yourusername I AM ALSO SO HAPPY!

User1 OMG AMAZING

User2 THE T-SHIRTS? IN LOVE! WHERE DIS YOU GET THEM?

Yourusername They are from the official merch drop from Taylor! I have been a mega fan from the beginning!

User3 OKAY CHARLES UPGRADED TO AN AMAZING BF

User4 even vip?!?! You are spoiled!

User5 I AM ALSO GOING TO PART NIGHT 1!

User6 Will you make friendship brackets? I am also going and want to trade some with you!

Yourusername I will! I would love to trade with y’all!

User7 SO EXITED FOR YOU!

User8 What did Charles say when you got it?

Yourusername he said ‘I have a surprise for you!’ And then he gave me a bag with the box! And then I started crying!

User9 you already have merch? How?!

Yourusername Lily went and got me the shirt!

Uset10 My favourite WAG going to a concert of my favourite artist? Amazing!

User11 with who are you going?

Yourusername Charles is going with me!

User12 so exited to see all the eras content!

User13 Such an attention seeker!

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Instagram

Liked by Charles_Leclerc and 527.725 others

Yourusername Congrats on P4 my love! AND TTPD IS SO GOOD! A DOUBLE ALBUM WTF?!?! And here are some of my paddock fits😁 ALSO WHAT ABOUT THE TOUR?!

View all 4.728 comments

Charle_Leclerc Mon chéri… how sweet(?)

Yourusername It is! I am just so exited about Taylor!

Lilymhe YOURE SO RIGHT! I am so jealous that you get to see the first show after the new album!

Yourusername There are always live streams! And she will go to the US again!

User1 HAHAHAH

User2 so real

User3 I love that she can’t post without mentioning Taylor Swift or her Boyfriend! It shows dedication!

User4 Not the Alchemy😂

User5 you’re so pretty!

User6 the two sides? So funny!🤣

User7 I AM FREEKING OUT!

Yourusername SAME

User8 love the fits!

Yourusername Thanks!

User9 the TTPD aesthetic! Loving it!

User10 awwww Leo is so cute!

User11 Could you tell us where you get your clothes from? I love your style!

Yourusername Of course! My most recent posts have the links with them! (Reels from insta and TikTok)

User12 Thank you! You are amazing!

User13 I love how obsessed she is with TS!

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

Liked by Charles_Leclerc and 628.283 others

Yourusername I had a lovely time at the eras tour! Thank you for the very kind people behind me that send me the pics of me and Charles! ALSO THE NEW SETLIST?!?! More pics coming soon!

View all 5.736 comments

Charles_Leclerc for the information; Y/n was crying… a lot

Yourusername YOU VANT BLAME ME! SHE CHANGED A LOT!

Lilymhe I AM SO JELOUS! Liked by author

User1 AHHH I AM SO GSBRNEBDU

User2 OMD THE COUPLE PICS?!?! SO CUTE!

User3 love the taytay pics!

User4 YOURE OUTFIT JS SO CUTE!

User5 Love the hat!

User6 MORE PICS?!

User7 THE NEW SETLIST IS SO COOL!

User8 I WAS THE ONE THAT TOOK THE PIC!

Yourusername THANK YOU SO MUCH!

User9 I tradet with her! She was so nice! And Charles study stood there looking a big lost!

User10 WHAT DID YOU GET?!

Yourusername A fan of Charlie gave me the gift!

User11 Se exited to go myself!

User12 you’re so cute!

User13 You’re not even pretty

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Instagram

Liked by Taylorswift and 1.737.837 others

Yourusername Everyone meet my new friend; Taylor Swift! It was absolutely lovely meeting you! And thank you for the invites😉

View all 172.638 comments

Taylorswift It really was amazing to meet you! I’m glad you enjoyed everything! Liked by author

Charles_Leclerc Finnaly I don’t have to keep this a secret anymore!

Yourusername yeah you’re not the best secret keeper

Charles_Leclerc EXUSE ME?!

Lilymhe WHAT? AND YIU DIDNT TELL ME?!

Yourusername IM SORRY I WANTED IT TO BE A SUPRISE!

User1 OMG SO HAPPPY FOR YOU

User2 THE MIST GORGOYS GIRLS TOGETHER!

User3 YOU MET HER?

User4 WHAT INVITES?!?!

Yourusername 🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫

User5 THIS IS SO ICONIC!

User6 LILY AND CHARLES HAHAHHA

User7 So this are the other pics?!?!!!

User8 What happens in the 5th pic??

Yourusername I had a mental breakdown…

User9 not the y/n mansplaining to Taylor’s how max for it with Charles🤣🤣

User10 You are living the dream!

User11 THE NEW SETLIST AND MEETING TATLOR?!?! IM JELOUS!

User12 NEW TAYTAY CONTENT YAY!

User13 You don’t deserve it!

|———————————<3—————————————|

[cgetbrmj]

hi hello I just woke up so I’m sorry if this is not coherent whatsoever!! Anyway, *throws my headcanons at you.*

Coriolanus Snow:

Literal definition of just a little guy. Does he go on to be an awful person? OK YES MAYBE but for now he’s a little guy

Probably like a baby regressor. I cannot be the only person who saw him in the hospital and was like ??? Are those children’s pyjamas ??? (It was a hospital gown and I know that now.)

Has such a strong hate towards regressing like he will actively avoid it,,,he’s probably never would’ve done it willingly if Sejanus didn’t talk him into it like a lot.

Def regresses because of trauma. He’s lived through a war and never really had a childhood!! *shakes your shoulders aggressively* HOW ARE WE SLEEPING ON THIS????

He is such a crybaby…but like in the way where he tries so hard to bottle everything up because he doesn’t want to inconvenience anyone (no I’m not projecting wtf are you talking about?? /sarc) anyway he fails every time

It’s also always a battle to get him to eat, you must act like this is the most yummy thing in the world then maybe just maybe he’ll take a bite.

Personal headcanon that he never actually gave the plinth family that photo, like he had full intentions too but dude kept it for himself and would get a little sad and small when he sees it :((

ANYWAY GOING BACK TO CANON NOT BEING REAL BECAUSE ITS SAD. Definitely like needs baby stuff like pacifiers and fluffy pyjamas and stuffed animals. Because first and foremost he’d look so cute with them and secondly Sejanus would so have the money for it like dude would probably build a nursery

Coryo is so anxious to use said baby stuff because he partially thinks he doesn’t deserve it and partially thinks that he shouldn’t be regressing in the first place which like :((

Final thoughts is that Sejanus is definitely main cg I mean hello?? And Lucy Gray and Tigris babysit him sometimes

Sejanus Plinth:

Caregiver. Fretting overprotective caregiver to an anxious crybaby Coryo. 

Definitely leans towards the sappier nicknames, “sweetheart, baby,” occasionally “kiddo.” 

Will spoil Coryo to hell and back. 

Not strict whatsoever, the biggest punishment this man would be willing to give would be a five minute time out. Realistically. He’s also morally against punishments so Coryo would probably have to do something absolutely awful to deserve that.

Definitely better with younger Littles, which is why him and Coryo fit so well together.

Realistically he won’t leave Coryo alone for even a second in headspace, one he’s just clingy like that, and two, he doesn’t want anything happening to him while he’s gone.

Brings Coryo his Ma’s homemade cookies. He knows this boy doesn’t eat as much as he should be.

:3 just felt a little silly goofy 

also love love love LOVE your hc so much thank you for feeding into my new obsession lol

Pretty sure we have opposite time zones then hahaha Thankyou for gracing me with your hcs!! Adding another break because I just kept ranting about them hahaha

obviously, Sejanus would spoil Little Coryo for sure - and I've definitely thought about Coryo being a regressor from trauma and lack of childhood because YES. ALSO THANKYOU!!! THE HOSPITAL SCENE??? So glad we have mutual feelings on that because he was giving some strong kiddo vibes there

I always get scared to hc characters as baby regressors - I personally regress in the baby/young toddler area and idk I just get worried I'm projecting too hard so that was a pleasant surprise to see you hc lol - I feel like Little Coryo would be in more of a toddler bracket most of the time but then slip younger when he's tired or emotional - or god forbid, sick.

also thankyou for totally understanding the crybaby thing - he's just an overwhelmed little kid - literally anything could be the thing to push him into a breakdown - he's trying his best!!

and YES can we PLEASE discuss Little Coryo's relationship with food because herbfi;erbfuibf - I think he's difficult no matter what, and I feel like it'd be one of the ONLY things he'd 'act out' about - I don't think Little Coryo would really understand why he feels weird about food - definitely whines about being hungry but then won't accept anything offered to him - says that he 'doesn't like' something when Sejanus knows for a FACT he does - stuff like that. Also (as someone who, no matter how badly wishes they did like it, I don't like basically any fruit ever 😭) HOWEVER, I just have a feeling based on nothing, that Little Coryo would love most fruit. Like it's one of the only consistent snack options that will work on him

DO NOT TALK TO ME ABOUT THAT PHOTO 😭😭😭

Sejanus would 100% put together a nursery for Coryo and Coryo would 100% tell him to get rid of it immediately and then secretly adore it - the self hate Coryo would have over anything regression related is real

Coryo definitely plays very intricate imaginative storylines out with his stuffed animals and can never really explain it to Sejanus who would sit and watch and try to figure out what the hell is going on for half an hour

Sejanus my love - so overprotective - so gentle with Little Coryo. He absolutely uses 'sweetheart' and 'baby' all the time. In my opinion, he'd get so proud of anything Little Coryo does and would have such a hard time keeping his regression a secret because he'd just want to brag about his kiddo all the time. Drawings? Reading aloud? Eating? Looking cute? Sejanus is so proud of him! He wants everyone to know that Little Coryo is his! Sejanus would never do/say anything Coryo wouldn't want though - so he just makes sure to praise Little Coryo, all the time.

Completely agree - Sejanus would not be a strict caregiver at all - he does not see the point in punishing Coryo when he could explain why he shouldn't do something - especially when Coryo is going to feel guilty enough already for acting out

Also was thinking earlier about Little Coryo having a NEED to soak up all of Sejanus's attention and was thinking about how through his childhood Tigris had definitely looked out for him, but really they were leaning on each other - and also totally fending for themselves - Tigris was a wonderful cousin but she's barely that much older than Coryo - and then started thinking about how Coryo's mother died in labour, when he was already quite young, which would basically mean that most memories of his mother he has, she'd be pregnant. So pregnant mother and a father who's left to help fight the war when he's VERY young, then two dead parents, a grandmother who's pinning her faith on HIM, and a cousin who's doing her best to look after him, while he grows up scavenging and pretending he's not only fine, but actually living a perfect rich life??? The childhood trauma here is really unmatched - of course he's clingy and a bit of a cry baby when regressed, of COURSE he wants to steal every bit of Sejanus's attention!! When has he ever been the SOLE POINT of someone's attention? ughhh I can't stop thinking about all the fic opportunities.

anyway THANKYOU VERY MUCH for the hcs and I hope to scream about more of them soon with you lol <3

[the0nlyallison]

hiii okay so basically im going to translate that post

so my friends sends me a screenshot between him and a boy in his class

and he texted that boy "do you understand what we did in school (idk how to translate that 😭)?"

and under the screenshot it says is my pick up line good (as a joke he calls it a pick up line hahaha)

and i say yesss and in the brackets it says "i wanted to send u screenshots of my crushes and i's text messages but he blocked me"

and he says WHY DID HE BLOCK UU

and then i said because my ex friend told him i have feelings for him

and in the brackets i say "hes scared of love and those types of things"

i hope this helped :))

OHHHH ooooo well your crush shouldn't have blocked you and your ex friend should go to hell for that bc it wasn't their place to say anything, and he probably is scared of love.

[alphabetboyluvr]

HIII MY LOVE ><

okie so idk if you've already been asked this, but if you had to rank all your jungkooks (jungkooks? yeah) in what order would you rank them /or like if you had to choose to date even 💗

hiiii <33

my jungkooks <3 hehe and no i haven't been asked!!

i will rank them most to least datable (realistically), but in brackets ill put the order in which i'd personally date them haha

Colour Vision (4) Bad Decisions (3) Landslides (2) You Up? (6) OTTE (7) Throttle (1) Icarus (5) Kumiho (8)

honourable mention to hey, mercury jk because i'd date him in a heartbeat too hahaha

[starrierknight]

first of all,, i love ur new theme so much,, it definitely is very you {goth} (curly brackets cuz i like the way they look),, also the shakespeare tag system oml,, ur so hot for this actually,, i love the eloquence of his words,, maybe i should read more, any recs, reece ?

second of all, i leave for 5 days and i find out everyone was thirsting (lmao autocorrect made it thrusting for a second there) over geto and i wasn’t informed ?! u guys are so fake actually /j

third of all, i hope i’m not late BUT my favorite color is #2596be (i already mentioned that color in the playlist ask but yeah !!) and fun fact abt me… when i was a kid,, my mum, my sibling and i found a worm (or a caterpillar i’m not sure) in a vegetable before and we ended up keeping it as a pet for a while and i genuinely thought it would turn into a butterfly someday, tho i don’t really remember what happened to it but yeah !

-🩰

EEEEEEEEEEEEE THANK YOUUUU!!!! I'm glad you like it hehehehe,,, and yes. very me. cute brackets btw lol. and yippieeeeee!!!!!! pls you flatter me so much,,, but yk me... everything has to be a literature reference :3 ooooooooo!!!!! well! personally i don't think you can go wrong with his sonnets. his poetry is a good way to ease yourself into shakespeare yk? start with 116 and then work your way from there. you can also just search up "shakespeare sonnets (theme/motif)" and find more specifics you like <3

PLSSSSSSSSSS MY AUTOCORRECT DOES THE SAME HAHAHA... maybe i am not so strange? hmm..... but waaaaaaa i'm so sorry nonnie. i will send a telegram next time :/

that's so cute!!!!! and you kept it as a pet.... oh how adorable. what a fitting story. i feel like this needs to lean more towards turquoise to fit... idk??? the fact is giving turquoise. but!!!! such a pretty colour as it is

[maisjetaime]

I think I might start posting some of my poems on here again ♥️

[circumference-pie]

Fic writer meme thing! Thanks for the tag, @intyalote​! I love mucking around with writing-adjacent introspection.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

17

2. What is your total AO3 word count?

54,055

3. Top five fics by kudos

Connect with friends and the world around you (NiF, crack)

Rock, Burning Up in the Air (DCMK, Kogoro & Conan)

Every Heart Sings a Song (DCMK, ShinRan)

the dcmk shipyard (DCMK, various)

Two (Guardian, Shen Wei & Ye Zun)

4. Do you respond to comments, and why?

I love getting author responses on comments I send on fics, so I always try to respond to reader comments on mine! And I don’t get so much that it’s overwhelming, or anything.

I’ve gotten much more comfortable responding to comments over these past two (three???) years I’ve been writing fic. I used to freeze up so bad. In delight, but also for fear of saying the wrong thing/not adequately conveying my brain-explody appreciation. Now I just say whatever comes to mind. :D

5. What’s the fic you have written with the angstiest ending?

Days in the Sun for sure. And even that has a lovely, hopeful ending... unless you know canon. >:)

Oh, though “Messy,” the ShinShi short in the dcmk shipyard, has a pretty angsty beginning, middle, and end.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Unambiguously happy? Probably Every Heart Sings a Song or its followup, Sensory Input.

I hadn’t realized how many of my fics were sort of in a not-quite-angst gray zone.

7. Do you write crossovers, if so what’s the craziest one you have done?

I’ve written one, a Chihayafuru x DCMK crossover. It’s not quite crazy, but with two sets of characters and canons it’s hard to decide where to focus.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I have published about four lines of smut, but I’ve written a lot more for a WIP. It’s pretty vanilla M/F stuff.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so?

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep, the first part of touch (DCMK) is translated into Vietnamese here! The translator may or may not finish the rest.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven’t collaborated on the actual writing, but I’ve had really involved conversations that deeply influenced the tone and direction of a fic. And some of my betas have been really involved, too.

13. All time favorite ship!

Maybe... RoyAi, from Fullmetal Alchemist? They’re certainly my oldest ship that I still ship. I just love the trust they have in each other.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you will?

Ah, the faux-history paper on the events of Nirvana in Fire, unfortunately.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Derp? I used to really like writing dialogue, but now it doesn’t come so easily. At one point I would have said a lyrical writing style, but I’ve been consciously trying to write in a more grounded style. IDK, hahaha. I am a pro at using the thesaurus?

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plotting. Plotting. Plotting. How to rising action? What is conflict? The three-act story and Hero’s Journey are the banes of my writing existence. (I do like the brackets idea from Brandon Sanderson, though. That’s helped a lot.)

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I’m with @intyalote​ on this, unnecessary in the vast majority of cases. In non-dialogue, as well.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, I think? Though I either didn’t publish them or took them down soon after.

19. Fave fic you have written?

Ooh, this is hard. I kind of have a love/hate relationship with allll of them. Maybe Days in the Sun and Every Heart Sings a Song*? Two of the longest.

I will tag @cortue​ and @privateeye-cj!

(* I have complicated feelings about Every Heart, because reading it now, I can see how badly I f’ed up the main character’s characterization. I did feel like her characterization was a struggle while I was writing, but it’s even more obvious to me now. But still. The fic contains some of my favorite lines.)

[percyjacksonfan3]

Alright so @yourstrulytaaay is reading the PJO series for the first time (and I’m going to reread along with her) so before she starts The Lightning Thief I quizzed her on a few Riordanverse terms and characters to see what she would guess each of them to be.

Tay has seen the movies and she’s heard and seen things from here on Tumblr and social media, but honestly these are too funny not to share so here we go! Thanks for indulging me Tay, because honestly this made me stupidly happy. And thanks for letting me make a Tumblr post about it to kickstart my “lau rereads pjo” tag

Tay’s words are in “quotations”, mine in (brackets).

The Mist- “Sounds like a superhero name but considering the book... I’m almost positive that’s not true”

Mrs. Dodds- “MRS DODDS lmao, her I know from the movies. Creepy ass harpy woman, or something like a harpy. Not that I necessarily trust the movie’s adaptation considering all I know about them.” (We have no choice but to stan here tbh, never trust the movies. But honestly this was a good guess considering Mrs. Dodds is a Fury)

Iris Messaging- “??? Sounds like they’re talking through flowers or some shit” (I mean... close enough?)

Mrs. O’Leary- “Hmmm idk why the first thing that popped into my mind was like a Molly Weasley type of character, but assume I’m just picturing Molly Weasley.” (Extremely valid answer tbh)

Celestial bronze- “I feel like... I’ve hear the term before? Now whether that’s bc it’s popped up in other things or bc it’s mentioned in one of the movies? I’m not sure. And I genuinely can’t even tell you what I’m picturing because I’m like... not really picturing anything.” (Also fair considering it’s just the metal for weapons, so a pretty boring topic)

The Big Three- “Is it the fates? It might be the fates. I’m going with the fates. FInal answer.” (This was so smart of her tbh even if it’s wrong)

Gabe Ugliano- “What kind of name is Ugliano? Seriously Rick wtf. I have thoughts about your character with a last name like Ugliano.

A few messages later.

Oh my god wait Gabe Ugliano is definitely Sally’s bf right?? HAHAHA NVM THE LAST NAME SUITS HIM. I take it back.

Then later:

I’m still cackling over Gabe Ugliano btw. Rick really said ‘this character is the worst and I’m gonna give him the last name to prove it.” (You’re so right Tay, it absolutely does suit him and it’s what he deserves.)

Rachel Elizabeth Dare- “Rachel’s like... the chick who kisses Percy at some point right? idk I saw a tiktok.” (Accurate things are accurate, tho I am a Rachel stan first and foremost.)

Nico di’Angelo- “I’ve definitely heard of Nico before lmao but could I name a single thing he’s done? NOPE.”

Clarisse la Rue- “All I’m picturing is like ‘hello Clarice.’ You know the reference.” (This made me laugh)

Mr. D- “Is he the Chiron character? Like he’s... basically Chiron? The centaur. That dude?” (Again so so close so I’m super impressed she knew that.)

Tyson- “... sounds like an asshole. Sorry to him but I know way too many asshole Tysons. The name never inspired good feelings in me.” (Boy oh boy is your opinion about to change!! Is there anybody who’s read the books that doesn’t love Tyson?? Genuine question)

Nancy Bobofit- “BOBOFIT? Actually Rick what the hell. I have QUESTIONS that I want answered. Namely in what world is it okay for him to choose the... weirdest last names for his characters.” (This is where she had her Ugliano revelation about Gabe and she was like “I still protest Bobofit tho”)

Blackjack- “Okay I had a cat named Blackjack so all I’m picturing is him for that one.

Later

Circling back to Blackjack... still picturing my cat... assuming it’s a person...Assuming you’re not just talking about the game lmao... yeah. Still picturing my cat.”

DOA Recording Studios- “Are they... are they... recording an album? Why is there a recording studio mentioned? Percy Jackson over there just laying down some sick beats? Good lord lmao.”

Lotus Hotel- “This one I know for sure bc it’s in the first movie. It’s like... one of the only things I remember. The place where time basically like... doesn’t exist.”

[watch-grok-brainrot]

MDZS Novel Translation: Lotus Pod Extra Part 1 (Chinese, English, plus translator ramblings)

General notes: MXTX’s use of commas annoy me so much. I ended up breaking up really long sentences into smaller ones for 1) my own sanity, 2) my sense of sentence structure, and 3) aesthetics. Probably grammar too… but i’m pretty bad at grammar so idk.  So you’ll see chinese followed by the translation. then notes in brackets if there are any... hope it’s easy to follow? i went through and tried to format them differently too... You can also just go read the english only version if you want... it’s in another post. i can link it in the comments. 

as per the other post, thank @merelhyn an her rabid love of this extra for me translating it. hahaha! also, she did a once-over before i posted and caught some mistakes of mine. :D 

Keep reading if you want and lmk what you think. ^_^ Feel free to ask me questions or yell at me about places where i can improve. Discourse is good for learning! 

云梦莲花坞。

Yunmeng Lotus Pier. 

试剑堂外, 夏蝉鸣噪；试剑堂内，一片肉体陈横、不堪入目。

Outside ShiJianTang (Sword Testing Hall) were the summer cicadas’ noisy calls; inside ShiJianTang was the unbearable sight of bodies strewn across the ground.

十几名少年打着赤膊, 一片片贴在试剑堂内的木板地上, 时不时翻个身，仿佛十几片烤得滋滋作响的煎饼，发出垂死的咕哝。

Over a dozen youths with bare chests stuck themselves onto ShiJianTang’s hardwood floor, periodically flipping themselves over, as if they were over a dozen sizzling JianBing (Fried Bread), letting out mutterings of the dying.

[Note: technically it says bare arms, but with their hanfu, if the arms are bare, so are the chests so I’m translating it that way to make it make more sense.]

“热……”

“Hot……”

“死了……”

“Dead…… ”

魏无羡眯着眼，迷迷糊糊心道：“像云深不知处那么凉快就好了。”

Wei Wuxian thought blearily to himself with barely open eyes, “If only it could be as cool here as it is in Cloud Recesses.”

身下那片木板又被体温同化了, 于是他翻了个身。恰巧, 江澄也翻了个身，两人擦了个边, 胳膊搭着了腿, 魏无羡立刻道：“江澄，把你胳膊拿开, 你像块炭。”

The hardwood flooring under him was once again warmed by his body heat, so he flipped over. Coincidentally, Jiang Cheng also flipped over, the two brushed against each other, arm and leg making contact. Wei Wuxian immediately said, “Jiang Cheng, move your arm, you’re as hot as a coal.” 

江澄道：“你腿拿开。”

Jiang Cheng said, “You move your leg.”

魏无羡道：“胳膊比腿轻, 我拿腿更吃力, 还是你拿胳膊吧。”

Wei Wuxian said, “Arms are lighter than legs, me moving my leg takes more effort. It’s better for you to move your arm.”

江澄怒了：“魏无羡我警告你不要太过分, 闭嘴不要说话, 越说越热！”

Jiang Cheng became angry: “Wei Wuxian, I’m warning you to not go overboard. Shut your mouth and don’t speak. The more you talk, the hotter it gets!”

六师弟道：“你们不要吵了行不行, 我听你们吵都觉得好热, 汗都流得更快了。”

Sixth-shidi (younger male disciple) said: “Can you two not argue? Just listening to you argue makes me hotter. I’m sweating even more now.”

那边已经一掌劈来、一脚蹬去了：“快滚！”“你滚！”“不不不, 你请滚！”“别客气, 你先滚！”

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian already started fighting -- a palm strike here, a kick there: “Hurry up and piss off!” “You piss off!” “No no no, please, piss off!” “Don’t be so polite, you piss off first.”

众师弟怨声载道：“要打出去打！”“你们一起滚了好不好啊求求你们！”

All the younger disciples complained in unison: “Take the fight outside!” “You two can both go piss off. We’re begging you!”

魏无羡道：“听到没有, 大家让你出去。你……放开我腿，要断了大哥！”

Wei Wuxian said, “Did you hear that, everyone is asking you to leave. You… let go of my leg, it’s going to break, Da-ge!” 

[note: the use of da-ge here is like when you ask someone to cry uncle. Wwx is crying for mercy.]

江澄额头青筋暴起, 道：“明明是让你出去……你先松开我胳膊！”

A vein on Jiang Cheng’s forehead popped up. “Clearly they’re telling you to leave…. Let go of my arm first!”

这时，外边的木廊上传来一阵裙·摆曳地的沙沙响动，两人顿时闪电一般分开。旋即，竹帘被掀起，江厌离探头往里瞄一瞄，道：“呀，原来你们都躲在这里。”

At this time, from the wooden corridor outside came the sound of a skirt rustling over the floor. The two immediately parted like lightning. Soon, the bamboo curtains parted, Jiang Yanli stuck her head in, glanced around, and said, “Aah, so you’re all hiding here.”

众人连声道：“师姐！”“师姐好。”有容易害臊的忍不住双手交叠遮胸，躲到角落里去了。

Everyone said in unison: “Shijie!” “Hi Shijie!” The ones who became embarrassed easily couldn't help but cross their arms over their chests and hide into a corner. 

江厌离道：“今天怎么偷懒不练剑啦？”

Jian Yanli asked: “Why are you all being lazy today and not practicing your swords?” 

[Note: being lazy here is made up of the characters “steal” and “lazy”. It implies shirking responsibilities to be lazy. JYL is likely saying this to tease the boys. Also, there isn’t a subject in the sentence. The you is implied but that doesn’t work in english so i added “you all” to indicate plural you.]

魏无羡诉苦道：“这么毒的日头，校场晒死了，去练剑要脱一层皮。师姐不要告诉别人。”

Wei Wuxian complained, “Such a treacherous day, the sun shining over the practice grounds would kill us, practicing swords would make us shed a layer of skin. Shijie, don’t tell other people.” 

[Note: 毒 means poison/toxin but i feel like it would be weird to describe a day as such. You can also say someone is very 毒 and it would mean cruel/malicious. Somehow that didn’t work well in my head either… so i went with treacherous. Translator’s artistic license, ok?]

江厌离仔细端详了他和江澄一下，道：“你们两个是不是又打架啦？”

Jiang Yanli carefully assessed him and Jiang Cheng and asked, “Did you two get into another fight?”

魏无羡道：“没有哇！”

Wei Wuxian said, “We didn’t!”

江厌离的身子也钻进来了，她端着一盘东西道：“那阿澄胸口的脚印是谁踹的？”

Jiang Yanli stepped into the room carrying a plate and asked, “Then who kicked the footprint onto A-Cheng’s chest?”

魏无羡一听留下罪证了，连忙去看，果然有。可已经没人在意他俩有没有打架了，江厌离手上端的是一大盘切好的西瓜，一群少年蜂拥而上，三两下便分完了，坐在地上相对啃瓜。不一会儿，瓜皮就在盘子里堆成了个小半山。

Wei Wuxian, upon hearing he left evidence, turned to look -- it was really there. But no one cared whether the two of them fought anymore for Jiang Yanli had brought a large plate of watermelon slices. The group of youths swarmed in, quickly divided the melon between them, and sat down on the floor to gnaw on the melon. Not long later, the melon rinds piled into a small hill on the plate. 

魏无羡和江澄无论干什么都是要比一比的，吃个西瓜也不例外，横刀夺瓜，损招不断，斗得旁人避之不及，连忙给他们腾出了一块空地。魏无羡一开始吃得还卖力，吃着吃着，忽然“噗”地笑了一声。

No matter what Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng did, they would end up competing. Eating watermelon was no exception. Slashing to seize the melon -- an endless volley of moves between the two made others hurry to avoid them and scramble out of the way, leaving an empty space. At first, Wei Wuxian was wholeheartedly eating watermelon, but as he ate, a chuckle suddenly burst from his lips. 

[Note: 横刀夺瓜，损招不断 was a weird thing to translate. By character: 横 horizontal 刀 blade 夺 sieze 瓜 melon，损 damaging 招 move/blow 不 not 断 broken. Alternate translation because I really can’t decide: Crossing blades to seize the melon, trading endless blows. Because 招 is a weapon neutral wuxia unit of a martial movement and i honestly have i no idea how to translate it!]

江澄警觉地道：“你又想干什么。”

Jiang Cheng asked suspiciously: “What are you thinking about doing now?”

魏无羡又拿了一块，道：“没！你不要误会。我没想干什么，我就是想起了一个人。”

Wei Wuxian grabbed another piece of melon and said: “Nothing! Don’t misunderstand. I didn’t think about doing something, I just thought of a person.”

江澄道：“谁？”

Jiang Cheng asked: “Who?”

魏无羡道：“蓝湛。”

Wei Wuxian said: “Lan Zhan”

江澄道：“你没事想他干什么，想念罚抄的滋味不成？”

Jiang Cheng asked: “Why are you thinking about him? Do you miss the feeling of being forced to copy lines as punishment?” 

[Note: 没事 is no business but in context it means when you have no reason to. So maybe the line can be translated as Why are you thinking about him without cause? But that’s not very colloquial in english even if it is in chinese so I cut it.]

魏无羡吐籽，道：“想他好玩儿呗。你不知道，他可有意思了。我跟他说，你们家的饭菜太难吃了，我宁愿吃炒西瓜皮也不愿吃你家的饭，你有空到我们莲花坞来玩啊……”

Wei Wuxian spat out some seeds and said, “I’m thinking about how much fun he is. You have know idea, he’s so interesting. I said to him, your family’s food is not delicious at all, I would rather eat sauteed watermelon rind than eat your family’s food, you should come visit Lotus Pier when you have time…... ” 

话音未落，江澄一掌拍歪他的瓜：“你疯了叫他来莲花坞，给自己找罪受吗？”

Before the sound of Wei Wuxian’s words ended, Jiang Cheng slapped his watermelon askew: “You’re crazy inviting him to Lotus Pier, are you trying to make yourself suffer?”

魏无羡道：“你急什么，我瓜都差点飞了！我就说说而已，他当然不会来了，你啥时候听说他自己一个人跑出去玩儿过没有。”

Wei Wuxian said, “Why are you so anxious, my melon almost went flying! I was just saying that. Obviously he would not come. When have you ever heard of him going somewhere on his own for fun?”

江澄义正辞严道：“先说好，我反正拒绝他来，你不要乱请。”

Jiang Cheng spoke sternly, with a sense of righteousness, “Just so we’re clear: I will refuse his visit no matter what, don’t invite him willy nilly.” 

[先说好 means to agree upon beforehand, so i think “just so we’re clear” is a reasonable colloquial translation of the sentiment.]

魏无羡道：“没看出来你这么讨厌他啊？”

Wei Wuxian said, “I couldn’t tell you dislike him so!”

江澄道：“我对蓝忘机没意见，可万一他真的来了，我娘看了别人家的孩子要是有话说，到时候你也别想好过。”

Jiang Cheng responded: “I don’t have an issue with Lan Wangji, but if he were to really come, my mother might have something to say about other people’s children, and then you wouldn’t have a good time.”

魏无羡道：“没事，来了也不怕，真要是来了，你就跟江叔叔说让他跟我睡，我保证不出一个月就能把他逼疯。”

Wei Wuxian said, “No biggie, even if he showed up, I’m not scared. IF he really came, you can just tell Uncle Jiang to let him sleep in my room. I promise I’ll drive him insane in less than a week. ”

江澄嗤之以鼻：“你还想跟他睡一个月？我看不出七天你就被他捅死了。”

Jiang Cheng snorted, “You want him to stay with you for a month? I think he’ll stab you to death in less than seven days.”

魏无羡不以为然道：“怕他嘛。真要打起来他还不一定是我对手呢。”

Wei Wuxian retorted, “Who’s scared of him? If we really fight it’s not certain he would be an even match for me!”

众人连连附和起哄，江澄口里讥笑他厚颜，但心里其实知道魏无羡所言不假，并非自吹自擂。江厌离坐到两人中间，道：“你们在说谁呀？姑苏交到的朋友么？”

Everyone cheered and hollered at Wei Wuxian’s statement. Jiang Cheng sneered at Wei Wuxian’s thick skin but in his heart, he knew Wei Wuxian’s words were true and not mere boasts. Jiang Yanli sat between and asked, “Who are you talking about? Is it a friend you made at Gusu?”

魏无羡高兴地道：“是啊！”

Wei Wuxian said happily, “It is!”

江澄道：“你这‘朋友’当得太好意思了。你去问蓝忘机，看他肯不肯要你。”

Jiang Cheng said, “You claim ‘friend’ so easily. You should go ask Lan Wangji, see if he is willing to claim you.”

魏无羡道：“快滚。他不要我我缠死他，看他肯不肯。”转头对江厌离道，“师姐，你知道蓝忘机吗？”

Wei Wuxian said, “Piss off. If he doesn’t want me, I’ll just cling to him. See if he’s willing or not in the end.” Wei Wuxian then turns to Jiang Yanli, “Shijie, do you know of Lan Wangji?”

江厌离道：“知道呀，就是大家都说很俊很有本事的那位小蓝二公子吗？果真很俊么？”

Jiang Yanli said, “I do know of him. Isn’t he the young second young master of Lan that everyone says is very handsome and very talented? Is he really so handsome?”

魏无羡道：“很俊的！”

Wei Wuxian said, “Very handsome!”

江厌离道：“比你呢？”

Jiang Yanli asked, “Compared to you?”

魏无羡想了想，道：“可能稍微比我俊一点点吧。”

Wei Wuxian pondered for a bit before saying, “Maybe the tiniest bit more handsome than me.”

他两只手指比了很小很小的一段距离。江厌离一边收盘子，一边莞尔道：“那看来是真的很俊了。交到新朋友是好事，今后没事的时候你们可以互相串门玩了。”

He held up two fingers separated by the slightest amount. Jiang Yanli smiled as she gathered the plate, “Looks like he must really be handsome. Making new friends is a good thing. When you have time in the future, the two of you can visit each other for fun.”

闻言，江澄喷瓜，魏无羡连连摆手：“罢了罢了。他们家那地方，饭又难吃规矩又多，我可不去了。”

Hearing that, Jiang Cheng spat out his melon. Wei Wuxian waved his hands defensively in front of his face, “No, no. Their home has disgusting food and too many rules. I don’t want to go there” 

[摆手 is a type of hand waving in front of your face that’s basically screams no in this case. I chose to describe it rather than translate it since the visual is very stark in my head.]

江厌离道：“那你可以带他来玩嘛。这次就是个好机会，怎么不请你朋友来莲花坞一起住一段时间？”

Jiang Yanli said, “Then you can bring him here. This time was a good opportunity, why didn’t you invite your friend to Lotus Pier to stay with us for a while?”

[technically jyl said bring him to play but the idea of play in chinese is more broad. It include sight seeing, touristy things, little kids playing, etc. I chose to not include it since it’s awkward in english to translate that. The implication is to show lwj a good time in yunmeng. ^^]

江澄道：“阿姐你听他瞎说。他在姑苏可招人嫌了，蓝忘机哪肯跟他回来。”

Jiang Cheng said, “A-jie, don’t listen to his nonsense. At Gusu he was really detested. How could Lan Wangji be willing to come back with him?”

[the chinese for 听他瞎说 means literally listen to his blind talking. Translating as nonsense made more language sense?]

魏无羡道：“什么话！他肯的。”

Wei Wuxian said, “What are you saying! He’s willing.”

[什么话 is literally what + speech/language. It’s not like language as in watch your language so i translated it as “what are you saying” to convey the annoyance.]

江澄道：“醒醒，蓝忘机叫你滚，听到没？记得吗？”

Jiang Cheng said, “Wake up. Lan Wangji told you to get lost, did you not hear? Remember?”

魏无羡道：“你懂什么！他虽然表面上叫我滚，但我知道他心里一定很想跟我到云梦来玩，想得不得了。”

Wei Wuxian said, “What do you know! Even though on the surface he told me to get lost, but I know, in his heart, he must have really wished to come visit Yunmeng with me. He must want it a lot.”

江澄道：“我每天都在想一个问题，你到底是哪里来的这么多自信？”

Jiang Cheng said, “I think about a question every day: from where do you get so much self confidence?”

魏无羡道：“不要再想了，同一个问题想这么多年还没有答案，换我早就放弃了。”

Wei Wuxian said, “Don’t think about it. You’ve been asking the same question for years without an answer. If it were me, I would have given up a long time ago.”

江澄摇了摇头，正待摔瓜，忽听一阵气势汹汹的脚步飞驰声，一个森寒的女声远远传来：“我说这人一个个的都躲到哪里去了，我就知道……”

Jiang Cheng shook his head and was about to throw his melon, when suddenly there was the sound of overbearing and fast footsteps. A chilling female voice drifted in from the distance: “I was wondering where everyone hid to, I just knew...”

众少年脸色大变，纷纷夺帘而出，恰好撞上虞夫人从长廊那头转来，紫衣翩翩，却气势汹汹，丹目含煞着实骇人。一见这一群少年个个打着赤膊赤脚，不成体统、不堪入目的模样，虞夫人的脸好一阵扭曲，两条细眉更是扬得就快飞起。

The color drained from all the youths’ faces. They scrambled to leave through the curtains, coincidentally catching Madam Yu turning the corner of the corridor. Her purple clothing fluttered freely but her intimidating aura and blazing eyes were truly terrifying. When she saw the group of youths all bare armed and bare footed --  improper and unsightly -- Madam Yu’s face twitched for quite a while. Furthermore, her two elegant eyebrows rose to the point of almost flying. 

[Technically, the paragraph starts with their complexion changed, but in this case it’s out of fear so i used english colloquialisms in my translation. The ‘blazing eyes’ per character are red eye holding killing-energy so blazing eyes was what i went with. The last description of Madam Yu’s face was a weird thing to translate. I first translated it as her eyebrows flew up but I LOVED the way it was worded in chinese here and did my best to preserve it. Also, the wording is her thin eyebrows but it’s a positive description so i switched it to elegant due to cultural context.]

众人心道“坏了！”，魂飞魄散，拔腿便跑。见状，虞夫人终于反应过来了，大怒：“江澄！给我穿上衣服！赤条条的野人一样，像什么鬼样子！让人看见了我脸往哪儿搁？！”

Everyone thought “This is bad!”, horrified, they ran. Seeing this, Madam Yu finally came out of her stupor. She was livid. “Jiang Cheng! Put on your clothes! You’re as naked as a wild man! What sort of shit appearance is that? If other people were to see, where would I put my face?”

[Uh… what a clunky translation on my part. Hahahaha. 魂飞魄散 literally means your spirit flies and your soul scatters… so horrified. ^_^  像什么鬼样子 “is like what ghost appearance?” but ghost here is more a crude derogatory emphasis… so i translated it as shit? idk...  and i was pretty literal about the “where would i put my face”… but hopefully people understand that’s an expression of shame? If not, uh… it’s an expression of shame! Like saving face… but she would lose hers so hard she wouldn’t know where to put it? Cultural things! XD]

江澄的衣服就扎在腰间，听母亲骂了，忙不迭囫囵一套。虞夫人又骂道：“你们呢！阿离在这儿没看到吗？一群死小子在姑娘家面前脱成这副德行，谁教你们的！”

Jiang Cheng’s clothing was tucked around his waist. Hearing his mother’s reprimand, he quickly covered himself. Madam Yu added angrily, “You guys! A-li is here, did you not see? A group of damn boys stripped bare in front of a girl! Who taught you to do this?!”

当然，想都不用想就知道是谁带的头。所以虞夫人下一句照例还是：“魏婴！我看你是要死！”

Of course, it was without question who was the leader. Thus Madam Yu’s next sentence was, per usual: “Wei Ying! Do you want to die?”

魏无羡大声道：“对不起！我不知道师姐会来！我这就去找衣服！”

Wei Wuxian said loudly, “I’m sorry! I didn’t know Shijie would come! I will go look for clothing now!”

虞夫人更怒：“你还敢跑，给我滚回来跪下！”说着一鞭子就出去了。魏无羡感觉背上火辣辣得一痛，“哎哟”大叫一声，险些打滚。这时，虞夫人耳边突然有人幽幽地道：“阿娘，你吃不吃西瓜……”

Madam Yu became even more angry. “You dare run away? Bring your ass back here and kneel!” With those words, her whip flew out. Wei Wuxian felt a searing pain on his back and screamed, almost falling and rolling on the ground. Suddenly someone said faintly by Madam Yu’s year, “A-niang, do you want to eat watermelon...”  

[So 给我滚回来跪下 literally means roll back here and kneel. However, as 滚 is very crude language, i tried to match that in translation. FYI: 滚 is what lwj says when he tells wwx to piss off or get out or whatever. The text specifies wwx screams “aiyou” but it wasn’t really worth translating imo since it’s an onomatopoeia that doesn’t add anything to the text.]

虞夫人被不知道从哪里忽然冒出来的江厌离吓了一跳，就这么一耽搁，那群小贼全都无影无踪了，气得她转头去拧江厌离的脸，道：“吃吃吃，你就知道吃！”

Madam Yu was started by Jiang Yanli appearing out of nowhere. The slight interruption allowed the group of rascals to disappear without a trace. Madam Yu angrily turned toward Jiang Yanli and pinched her cheek saying, “Eat. Eat. Eat. All you know is eat.”

江厌离被母亲拧得眼泪都流出来了一点，含含糊糊地道：“阿娘，阿羡他们躲在这里消暑，我自己找来的，你不要怪他们……你……你吃西瓜吗……不知道是谁送的，不过很甜。夏天吃西瓜，解暑消火，又甜又多汁，我给你切好……”

Jiang Yanli was pinched so hard by her mother that tears trickled out. She mumbled, “A-niang, A-xian and the others hid here from the heat. I came here on my own looking for them. Don’t blame them. Do… Do you want to eat watermelon? I don't know who sent it to us, but it’s very sweet. Eating watermelon in the summer dispels heat and decreases your inner fire. It’s sweet and juicy. I can cut it for you...”

[note, in traditional chinese medicine, there is a balance between heat and cooling. You get sick if you’re off balance. One example of such sickness is heat stroke. But sometimes it’ll also manifest as chapped lips or other skin flare-ups and discomfort. So saying the watermelon dispeals heat and decreases inner fire is a way to say the watermelon helps rebalance you. I don’t know much about TCM but my mom likes it and yelled about it at me a lot as a child… so i’m just explaining what i’ve picked up.]

虞夫人越想越气，再加上天热口渴，居然真被她说得想吃了，如此一来……更气了。

The more Madam Yu stewed, the angrier she became. The summer heat caused her to be thirsty which made her actually want to eat the watermelon. As such, she became even angrier. 

那头数人好容易逃出了莲花坞，冲向码头，跃上小船。好久都无人追出，魏无羡这才放了心。他使劲儿摇了两下船桨，感觉后背还疼，扔下桨给其他人，坐下来摸了摸那片热辣辣的皮肉，道：“青天白日冤，咱们讲讲道理，明明大家都没穿衣服，为什么骂只骂我，打也只打我？”

The group of people escaped Lotus Pier with great difficulty, charged towards the docks, and jumped onto a small boat. When, even after a bit, no one chased them, Wei Wuxian relaxed. He rowed the boat a couple times and felt his back was still hurting. Handing the oar to someone else, he sat down to touch the stinging flesh. “I’ve been wronged in broad daylight. Let’s talk about this logically. Clearly no one was clothed, but why am I the only one to get reprimanded? Why am I the only one to get hit?”

江澄道：“一定是因为你不穿衣服的样子最辣眼睛。”

Jiang Cheng said, “It’s definitely because the way you look while not wearing clothing burns people’s eyes the most.”

[note, i translated 最辣眼睛 as burns people’s eyes the most. The characters are literally most, burn (as in peppery hot burn of chili), eyes. I thought about translating it as eyesore… but couldn’t quite convey the “most” part of the sentiment so this is what you get. Also, it comes up later.]

魏无羡看他一眼，突然纵身一跃，扎入水中。其余人也响应号召一般，纷纷下水，瞬息之间只留了江澄一个人在船上。

Wei Wuxian glanced at him and suddenly sprang up and plunged into the water. Everyone else, seemingly responding to a signal, also entered the water. In a flash, only Jiang Cheng remained on the boat. 

江澄发觉形势微妙不对，道：“你搞什么鬼？！”

Jiang Cheng noticed the suspicious situation and said, “What are you trying to pull?!”

魏无羡滑到船侧，猛地一掌拍去。船只整个地翻了过去，在水里很有分量地一沉一浮，肚皮朝天。魏无羡哈哈大笑，跳上船底，盘足坐了，对着江澄摔下去的那一侧水喊道：“眼睛还辣吗江澄？应个声，喂，喂！”

Wei Wuxian swam up to the side of the boat and unleashed a sharp palm strike. The boat capsized: hull towards the sky and bobbing up and down in the water with vigor. Wei Wuxian laughed heartily, jumped onto the bottom of the boat, and sat down in a lotus position. He yelled towards the water on the side of the boat where Jiang Cheng fell in, “Are your eyes still burning, Jiang Cheng? Give a response! Hey! Hey!”

[The words used to describe the capsized boat was “belly skin towards the sky”. I wanted to share that because I love the imagery. Here is the burning from the spicy eyesore that showed up and made me go back and retranslate that sentence. I hate word play in translation… but also like trying to figure out a way to make it work!]

喊了两声，无人应答，只有咕噜咕噜一串水泡冒上来，魏无羡抹了把脸，奇怪道：“怎么这么久还没上来？”

After yelling twice and getting no response except for a string of gurgling bubbles, Wei Wuxian wiped his face and wondered, “How come he hasn’t popped up after all this time?”

六师弟也游了过来，惊道：“不会淹死了吧！”

Sixth-shidi also swam over and exclaimed, “He can’t have drowned, can he?”

魏无羡道：“怎么可能！”正要下水去拉江澄一把，忽听背后一声大喝，他“哎哟”一下，给人从背后一把推下了水，船只又湿淋淋地翻了个面。原来江澄给他掀下水后潜下水底绕了个圈，绕到了魏无羡背后。

Wei Wuxian said, “How could he?” He was about to jump into the water to drag Jiang Cheng out when he suddenly heard a loud cry from behind. Wei Wuxian yelped as he was shoved into the water. The boat, dripping wet, was flipped right side up. Turns out, after Wei Wuxian flipped Jiang Cheng into the water, Jiang Cheng swam underwater around the boat and ended up behind Wei Wuxian.

两人各偷袭得手一次，开始在水中绕着一条船警惕地打转，其余人则扑腾着水花，散开在湖里看热闹。魏无羡隔船叫嚣道：“你抄凶器算什么，有本事把桨放下，咱们空手比过。”

After the two of them each successfully landed a sneak attack, they started cautiously circling the boat. The others splashed and treaded water as they spread out over the lake to watch. Wei Wuxian hollered from the other side of the boat, “Why are you holding a weapon? If you’re skilled, put the oar down and we can fight hand-to-hand.”

江澄狞笑道：“你当我傻，我一放你就抢过去了！”他手上运桨如风，打得魏无羡连连退避，众师弟嗷嗷叫好。魏无羡左支右绌，百忙之中，抽空辩白道：“我哪有这么无耻！”

Jiang Cheng smirked, “Do you take me for an idiot? As soon as I put it down, you’ll take it!” He wielded the oar with unrelenting ferocity, forcing Wei Wuxian back. All the younger disciples cheered. Wei Wuxian found himself helpless as he dodged left and right. In his frenzy, he made time to plead his innocence, “I am not that shameless!”

[左支右绌 is a compilation of left and right and the word for insufficient. It basically means he couldn’t do anything against JC’s attacks. 百忙之中 - from within a hundred busy moments which i translated as frenzy, 抽空辩白 -- made time to plead innocence. ]

四周嘘声一片：“大师兄，你也有脸说这句啊！”

From all sides came the hissing response, “Da-shixiong, do you really have enough face to say such a thing?”

接下来，众人陷入了混乱的水战，什么大慈大悲杵、百毒蛇蝎草、夺命喷水箭——魏无羡一脚踹了江澄，好容易趴到船上，“呸”地吐了一口湖水，举手道：“不打了不打了，休战！”

Afterwards, everyone became involved in a chaotic water fight. Vicious attacks were used without hesitation. Finally, Wei Wuxian kicked Jiang Cheng and with great effort flopped onto the boat. He spat out a mouthful of lake water, raised his hands and said, “No more fighting. No more fighting! Truce! ”

[Note: the author said they got into a water fight and then listed these: 大慈大悲杵 (infinitely compassionate club) 百毒蛇蝎草 (hundred poison of snakes and scorpions grass) 夺命喷水箭 (life stealing water shooting arrow). I really don’t think there was a way to express these? But wanted to added in the notes as… uh flavor text? Also “infinite compassion” can probably be thought of as putting people out of their misery… so death. Pfffft. Seriously, this is how lots of wuxia fight scenes go. The author throws out poetic(-ish) phrases that kinda have something to do with the theme of the battle and then you’re expected to GUESS what that looks like. Once in a rare while they’ll talk about specific movements, but this is how it goes usually….And if you’re wondering, IMO, the compassion club is someone thwomping people with an oar, the poison grass is probably someone using their clothes/lotus stems/other water plants as whips and/or rods, and the last one is just people splashing each other.]

众人都顶着满头绿油油的水草，打得正酣呢，忙道：“为什么不打了，打呀！打呀！落了下风就求饶？”

Everyone’s heads were covered in bright green water weeds. They were fighting to their heart’s content! Thus, they retorted, “Why should we stop? Fight! Fight! Are you begging for mercy because you’re losing?”

魏无羡道：“谁说我求饶了，回头再打过。我是饿了打不动，先弄点东西吃。”

Wei Wuxian said, “Who said I’m begging for mercy? We can have another fight later. I’m hungry and don’t have energy for fighting anymore. Let’s get something to eat first.”

六师弟道：“那咱们回去吗？晚饭开饭前还能吃几个西瓜。”

Sixth-shidi said, “Are we going back then? We can have a few watermelons before dinner starts.”

江澄道：“现在回去，除了鞭子可没别的给你吃。”

Jiang Cheng said, “If we go back now, the only thing we’ll get to have is a whipping.”

[Note, getting a whipping here is literally eating whips… so there’s word play in terms of eating watermelon and eating whips… which is why i used the word have… a bit awkward? I dunno. If you have thoughts let me know. ]

魏无羡却早有主意，宣布道：“不回去。我们去摘莲蓬！”

Wei Wuxian was ready with a plan. He announced, “We’re not going back! We’re going to go pick lotus pods!”

江澄嘲道：“是‘偷’吧。”

Jiang Cheng said mockinly, “You meant ‘steal’, right?”

魏无羡道：“每次又不是没补钱！”

Wei Wuxian said, “It’s not like they don’t get paid later.”

云梦江氏在这一带时有照顾附近人家，除水祟不收取报酬，方圆数十里，不说几个莲蓬，哪怕是划一片湖专门种给他们吃也是乐意的。每次家中少年出去吃了人家的瓜、捉了人家的鸡、药晕了人家的狗，事后江枫眠也会派人一一补上。至于为何非要锲而不舍地偷来吃，倒不是流氓纨绔作风，无非少年人好玩儿心重，贪那一点被人笑笑骂骂追追打打的趣味罢了。

Yunmeng Jiang Sect often watched over the local people, removing water ghouls without asking for anything in return. Within a radius of several tens of lis, the people were happy to let them pick a few lotus pods. In fact, the people would be perfectly happy to designate a section of the lake to grow lotus just for them. Everytime the youths were out and ate people’s melons, caught people’s chickens, drugged people’s dogs, Jiang Fengmian would send someone later to pay the people. As to why they were determined to steal, it wasn’t because they were scoundrels but because they craved the fun experience of someone chasing them and hitting them while laughing and yelling. 

[Li = ~500 meters/1/3 of a mile. Also, this paragraph is basically ‘boys will be boys’… >.> poor jyl. I wish she got to do this too!! It sounds like so much fun! Also, really? WWX drugging dogs? Forgive me if I don’t believe it. Maybe the other boys did it for him?]

众人上了船，划了好一阵，到了一片莲湖附近。

Everyone got on the boat, rowed for a while, and ended up by a stretch of lake full of lotus. 

好大一片莲湖，青翠翠的。碧叶层层叠叠，小的如盘，大的如伞。外边的低一些疏一些，平平铺在水面上；里边的高一些挤一些，足够遮掩载人的船只，但若是看到哪里一群莲叶挨肩擦头地骚动起来，便知道是有人藏在里面做小动作了。

What a large stretch of lotus filled lake -- green and fresh! The verdant foliage layered and stacked on top of eachother, some as small as plates and others as large as umbrellas. The ones on the outskirts sat lower in the water and were more sparse, carpeting on the surface of the water. The ones on the inside stood taller and packed tightly together, sufficient to hide a boat carrying people. If one were to see a cluster of lily pads rustling and shaking, then they would know someone was mischievously hiding within.

莲花坞的小船滑进这片碧绿的天地底，四周挂满了鼓囊囊的大绿莲蓬，一人撑船，其余人便开始对它们动手动脚起来。大头大脑的莲蓬长在细长的莲茎上，莲茎平滑的绿杆上生满小刺，但不扎人，一折，脆生生地便断了。他们都是连着一段长长的茎一起折了，回去后还可以找个瓶子，插在���里养着，听说这样会多鲜嫩几天。魏无羡也只是听说，不知道是不是真的，反正他就是这么信誓旦旦告诉别人的。

The small boat from Lotus Pier glided into that verdant world. All around them hung large green lotus pods, round and full. One person rowed the boat and the rest started on the lotus pods. The large lotus heads grew on long, thin stems. The smooth lotus stems were covered with tiny thorns that did not sting. Bending the stems, they snapped with a crisp sound. The boys all broke off the pods with a large segment of stems attached. Once they took the pods home, they would find a vase and stick the pods in water. They heard it would preserve the pods’ freshness for a few more days. Wei Wuxian only heard it would work but didn’t know for sure, but he told the others with confidence anyway.

[the thorns and stinging thing was hard to translate. Maybe tiny stingers that didn’t stab people? I don’t know... basically some plants have little bits of white prickly things. And mxtx is describing that. This is why wwx is an academic. You want grant money? Convince people you’re right even if you may not be. >.> ]

他折了几枝，随手剥了一个，颗粒饱满，扔进嘴里，娇嫩多汁，边吃边随口胡哼瞎唱着什么“我请你吃莲蓬、你请我吃什么”，被江澄听到了，道：“你请谁吃？”

He broke off a few stems and reflexively removed the lotus seeds out of one. The seeds were full and round. When he popped them in his mouth, they were tender and juicy. As he ate, he started mindlessly humming and singing, “I treat you to eat lotus pods, what will you treat me to eat?” Jiang Cheng heard his singing and asked, “Who are you treating to eat things?” 

魏无羡道：“哈哈，反正不是你！”正准备摘个莲蓬砸他脸，忽然“嘘”了一声，道，“死了，今天老头在！”

Wei Wuxian said, “Haha, no matter what it’s not you!” He was about to smack Jiang Cheng’s face with the lotus pod but suddenly made a shushing noise and said, “We’re gonna die. The old man is here today!”

老头就是在这片水里种莲蓬的老农。到底有多老，魏无羡也不知道，反正在他看来，江枫眠是叔叔，比江枫眠大的一律都可以被称为老头。打魏无羡记事起他就在这片莲塘了，夏天来偷莲蓬，被抓住后就会被他打。魏无羡时常怀疑这老头是个莲蓬精转世，因为他对自己家湖里少了几个莲蓬了如指掌，少了几个打几下。莲湖里划船，竹篙比桨好使，砰砰砰！打在身上痛极了。

The old man was the old farmer who grew lotus pods in that stretch of water. How old was he, Wei Wuxian didn’t know. From Wei Wuxian’s perspective, Jiang Fengmian was an uncle. Anyone older than Jiang Fengmian could be referred to as an old man. Since Wei Wuxian could remember, he was around this stretch of lotus pond. In the summer, when Wei Wuxian came to steal lotus pods, if he was caught, he would be beaten. Wei Wuxian often suspected the old man was a reincarnated lotus pod spirit because he knew exactly how many lotus pods were missing from his family’s lake. He would beat you once for each missing lotus pod. A bamboo pole was the best tool for maneuvering a boat in a lotus lake. Thump thump thump! The bamboo pole was also exceptionally painful for the people getting hit.

[I wish mxtx would use fewer onamonapias… also, i translated lotus pond because the character she used 塘 means pond. I think she was being inconsistent… oh, well... and i really didn’t like the flow of this paragraph… kinda stream of conscience… especially the last few bits jumped to me, even in chinese. I tried making it flow… ]

众少年也都吃过几杆子，当下都嘘道：“快跑，快跑！”忙不迭抄桨，落荒而逃。七手八脚，划出了莲塘，做贼心虚地回头一看，老头的船已经穿出了重重莲叶，在开阔的水面上滑行。魏无羡歪头，看了一会儿，忽道：“奇怪！”

All the youths have experienced a few strikes of the bamboo pole. They all hissed at each other: “Run! Hurry and run!” They grabbed the oars and fled. After they frantically rowed out of the lotus pond, they turned around to look guiltily behind them. The old man’s boat had already exited the thick layers of lily pads and was gliding upon the open waters. Wei Wuxian tilted his head, stared for a bit, and suddenly said, “Weird!”

江澄也站了起来，道：“那船为什么走得这样快？”

Jiang Cheng also stood up and said. “Why is that boat moving so quickly?”

众人一看，那老头背对他们的方向，正挨个数着船上的莲蓬，竹篙放在一边，没动，船只却走得又稳又快，竟是比魏无羡他们的还快。

Everyone looked over at the old man. His back was turned towards them and was counting the lotus pods on his boat. The bamboo pole was set aside, untouched. The boat, however, moved steadily and swiftly, even faster than the boat with Wei Wuxian and company. 

众人都警惕了起来。魏无羡催促道：“划过去，划过去。”

Everyone became cautious. Wei Wuxian urged, “Row over there, row over there.”

两边船靠得近了，众人看得分明，老头的船边，有一道若有若无的白影在水面下游荡！

The two boats moved close and everyone could clearly see a faint white shadow floating and swimming under the water by the old man’s boat. 

魏无羡回头，食指抵在唇上，示意众人小心，莫要惊了老头和下面那只水鬼。江澄点头，划船只带出无声的水波，动静几近于无。当两船相距约三丈时，一只青白色的手从船底湿淋淋地扬起，从老头堆满船的莲蓬里，偷偷抓走了一个，无声无息潜入水底。

Wei Wuxian turned around, his finger against his lip, warning everyone to be careful -- do not startle the old man and the water ghoul under his boat. Jiang Cheng nodded and rowed the boat. The ripples he generated were nearly silent with almost no commotion. When the two boats were about three zhang apart, a wet and dripping pale green hand reached up from beneath the boat. Surreptitiously, the hand took a lotus pod from the old man’s full boat and silently resubmerged itself into the water.

[ 3 丈 (zhang) is ~ 10 meters or 11ish yards]   

片刻之后，两个莲子米的壳子浮上水面。

A few moments later, two lotus seed shells floated to the surface of the water.

一群少年惊呆了：“不得了，这个水鬼也偷莲蓬啊！”

The group of youths was astounded. “Wow! This water ghoul also steals lotus pods!”

[不得了 can be translated as excessive if paired with a situation... It’s just some sort of exclamation of awe and shock.]

老头终于发现身后来了人，一手抓着一只大莲蓬，一手抄竹竿转身。这动作惊了水鬼，哧溜一下，白影没了。众人忙道：“哪里跑！”

The old man finally noticed someone was behind him. He held a large lotus pod and one hand and turned around while grabbing the bamboo pole with the other. The motion started the water ghoul which slithered away. The white shadow disappeared. Everyone quickly hollered, “Where are you going?”

魏无羡扑通入水，扎进水底，不一会儿便拖着一个东西钻出来，道：“抓住了！”

Wei Wuxian plopped into the water and dropped into the depths. Soon, he resurfaced dragging something. “Caught it!”

只见他手里提着一只小水鬼，肤色青白，还是个十二三岁的孩子模样，十分惶恐，在一群少年的注视下几乎要缩成一团。

In his hand, there was a small water ghoul with pale green skin. It looked like a twelve or thirteen year old child. Terrified, it shrank into a ball under the group’s watchful eyes.

这时，老头一竿打来，骂道：“又来捣乱！”

At this time, the old man’s bamboo pole descended as he scolded, “Here again to cause trouble!”

魏无羡背上刚挨了鞭子，又吃了一竿，“嗷”的一声差点松了手。江澄怒道：“好好说话，干什么动手打人，好心当成驴肝肺！”

Wei Wuxian had just gotten whipped and was now getting hit by a bamboo pole. “Ow!” he yelped, almost losing his grip. Jiang Cheng angrily said, “Speak reasonably. Why are you hitting people? Misunderstanding our good intentions!”

[好心当成驴肝肺 means good heart is seen as a donkey’s liver and lungs. So something good seen as something bad. ]

魏无羡忙道：“没事没事。老……老伯你看清楚，我们不是鬼，这只才是鬼。”

Wei Wuxian quickly said, “No big deal. Old… old uncle, take a closer look. We are not ghouls. This is the ghoul.”

[Technically 你看清楚 is get a clear look but take a closer look works better in english. And it’s the same sentiment! ]

老头道：“废话，我只是老，我又没瞎。还不把它放了！”

The old man said, “No shit! I’m just old, not blind. Let him go!”

[废话 is literally useless speech. It’s basically the rude equivalent of ‘obviously’ so “no shit” it is! ]

魏无羡怔了怔，但见这被他捉住的小水鬼连连作揖，黑眼睛湿漉漉的，一副很可怜的样子，手里还揪着刚才偷的那个大莲蓬舍不得松手。莲蓬掰开了，看来是还没来得及吃几颗，就被魏无羡揪上来了。

Wei Wuxian startled. He watched the little water ghoul in his hand bowing with its hands clasped in front of its body. Its black eyes wet with tears, looking rather pathetic. In its hands the water ghoul still clung onto the large lotus pod it just stole. The lotus pod was broken open but the water ghoul clearly did not have time to eat many lotus seeds before Wei Wuxian dragged him to the surface.

江澄心道这老头简直不可理喻，对魏无羡道：“你别放，咱们把这水鬼抓回去。”

Jiang Cheng thought to himself that the old man was impossible to reason with. He said to Wei Wuxian, “Don’t let it go. We should take the water ghoul home.”

闻言，老头又举起了竹篙，魏无羡忙道：“别打别打，我放它下来就是了。”

Hearing those words, the old man raised the bamboo pole again. Wei Wuxian hurriedly said, “Don’t hit me! Don’t hit me! I’ll let it go!”

江澄道：“别放，万一这水鬼杀人替死怎么办！”

Jiang Cheng said, “Don’t let go. What would we do if the water ghoul kills people?”

魏无羡道：“这水鬼身上没血腥气，他年幼游不出这片水，最近这片水域没说死过其他人，应该是没害过人的。”

Wei Wuxian said, “This water ghoul doesn’t smell like blood. He’s young and cannot leave this section of the lake. Recently there has been no word that people have died in this area. It doesn’t seem like he’s harmed anyone before.”

江澄道：“就算之前没害过，今后也不一定不会……”

Jiang Cheng said, “Even if he hasn’t harmed anyone before, you can’t guarantee that in the future....”

话音未落，竹篙呼呼飞到。江澄吃了一记，大怒：“你这老头不分好歹吗？！知道是鬼不怕被它害了啊！”

Before his words finished, the bamboo pole landed with a whoosh. Jiang Cheng, getting hit, angrily said, “Old man, do you not have a sense of good and evil?! You know it’s a ghoul and you’re not scared of it doing harm?!”

老头也很理直气壮：“一只脚都进棺材的人还怕什么鬼。”

The old man responded with self assurance, “I already have one foot in my own coffin. Why would I be scared of a ghoul?”

魏无羡料想它也跑不远，便道：“别打了别打了，我松手了！”

Wei Wuxian figured it would not be able to run far, so he said, “Stop fighting, stop fighting. I’m letting go.”

他当真松了手，那水鬼哗啦一下蹿到老头船后，似是不敢出来了。

He really let go. The water ghoul slithered behind the old man’s boat, too timid to come out again. 

魏无羡湿淋淋地爬上了船，老头从船上挑了个莲蓬，丢进水里，水鬼不理。老头又挑了个大的，再丢进水中，莲蓬在水面上沉浮几下，忽的半个白脑袋钻出水面，像条大白鱼一般，把两个绿莲蓬叼进水底了。再过一会儿，水面上又浮起一点白色，水鬼把肩和手也露出来，缩在船后，埋头“咯吱咯吱”地吃了起来。

Wei Wuxian climbed back onto the boat soaking wet. The old man picked a lotus pod from his boat and threw it into the water. The water ghoul ignored it. The old man then picked a large lotus pod and threw it into the water. The lotus pod bobbed on the surface a few times. Suddenly, half a white head popped out of the water and dragged the two lotus pods down with its mouth like a large white fish. After a while longer, something white floated to the surface again. The water ghoul curled up behind the boat with its arms and hands above water and ate with noisy gusto. 

众人看它吃得津津有味，不禁纳闷。

Everyone watched, bewildered, as it ate with enthusiasm.

眼看着老头又丢了个莲蓬进水，魏无羡摸了摸下巴，有点不是滋味，道：“老伯，为什么它偷你的莲蓬，你让它偷，还送给它吃。我们偷你的，你就要打？”

Watching the old man throw another lotus pod into the water, Wei Wuxian rubbed his chin, feeling a little upset. He asked, “Old uncle, why do you let it steal your lotus pods? You even gift them to it. But when we steal your lotus pods, you hit us.”

老头道：“它帮我推船，给它几个莲蓬吃吃又有什么？你们这班小鬼？今天偷了几个？”

The old man responded, “It helps push my boat. Giving it a few lotus pods is nothing. You rascals? How many did you steal today?”

众人讪讪，魏无羡眼角一瞄，船肚子里堆了几十个不止，心道不妙，忙道：“走着！”

Everyone became embarrassed. Wei Wuxian glanced at the inside of their boat -- there were at least a few dozen. He knew the situation was going to take a turn for the worse and said, “Go!”

几人当即抄桨，那老头挥舞着竹篙迎面冲来，船行如风，头皮一麻，只觉那竹篙马上就要敲到，连忙撒开四肢，划得要疯了。两艘船绕着一大片莲湖逃了两圈，眼看越追越近，魏无羡已经吃了好几竿子，而且发现竿子只冲着他来，抱头大叫，道：“不公平！为什么只打我！为什么又只打我！”

A few people immediately picked up the oars as the old man charged forward waving his bamboo pole. His boat moved like the wind. The top of the youths’ heads felt a numbness and the foreboding sense of the bamboo pole making impact. They engaged all their limbs and rowed like crazy. The two boats circled the large lotus pond a couple of times, the old man’s boat closing in on the other boat. Wei Wuxian had already been hit a few times and he noticed the bamboo pole was only aimed at him. He hugged his head and yelled, “Too unfair! Why am I the only one getting hit? Why am I the only one getting hit!”

众师弟道：“师兄你顶住啊，都靠你了！”

All the younger disciples said, “Hang in there Shixiong! We’re counting on you!”

江澄也道：“是啊，你好好顶着。”

Jiang Cheng also said, “Yes, you just hang in there.”

魏无羡大怒，“呸！我顶不住了！”他抓了船上一只莲蓬，扔出去道，“接着！”

Wei Wuxian said angrily, “That’s it. I can’t hang in there anymore.” He grabbed a lotus pod from the boat and tossed it out, “Catch!”

[呸 is fairly coarse language.. But idk. It’s just a noise one makes when they want to express derision or being fed up. In ep 1, wwx uses it at madam mo when she wails about her son and he’s like, 呸, he’s old enough to know better. Maybe “f-ck that” but a little less harsh? Since wwx was done here, i just translated it as ‘that’s it’]

那是很大的一只莲蓬，掉落到水里，“咚”地溅起水花。老头的船只果然一顿，那只水鬼欢欢喜喜游过去，捞了莲蓬来吃。

It was a very large lotus pod -- it hit the water with a thud and a large splash. The old man’s boat paused as expected. The water ghoul happily swam over, scooped up the lotus pod, and began eating

趁此机会，莲花坞的船终于得了个空，逃掉了。

Seizing the opportunity, the Lotus Pier boat escaped. 

回去的时候，一名师弟道：“大师兄，鬼能吃出味道吗？”

On the way way back, a younger disciple asked, “Da-shixiong, can ghouls taste flavor?”

魏无羡道：“一般吃不出吧。不过我看这只小鬼，大约是……是……阿……阿嚏！”

Wei Wuxian said, “Usually not. But I think this little ghoul is proba… probab… probably.. Ah… achoo!”

日头落了，风来了，吹一吹，凉意上来了，冷丝丝的。魏无羡打了个喷嚏，揉了揉脸，接着道：“大约是生前想吃莲蓬吃不到，偷偷来摘的时候掉进湖里淹死的。所以……啊……啊……”

The sun had set and the wind picked up, bringing a sense of coolness and chill. Wei Wuxian sneezed, rubbed his face, and continued, “Probably it wanted to eat lotus pods in its past life but could not. When it snuck there to pick some, it fell into the water and drowned. So… ah… ah…”

江澄道：“所以吃莲蓬就是在了执念，会有满足感。”

Jiang Cheng said, “So, eating lotus pods realized its desires, giving it a sense of fulfillment.”

魏无羡道：“唔，对。”

Wei Wuxian agreed, “Uh, right.”

他摸了摸新旧伤交加的后背，还是忍不住把心里的话问出来了：“这可真是千古奇冤，为什么每次一有什么事，永远都只打我？”

He touched his back that was covered in crisscrossing old and new injuries and couldn’t help but voice his thoughts, “But this is such a strange injustice for the ages. Why is it that whenever something happens, I’m always the only one who gets hit?”

一名师弟道：“你最英俊。”

One younger disciple said, “You are the most handsome.”

另一人道：“你修为最高。”

Another said, “You have the highest cultivation.”

再一人道：“你不穿衣服最好看。”

Yet another added, “You look the best naked.”

众人纷纷点头，魏无羡道：“谢谢大家的赞誉，我听得都有点起鸡皮疙瘩了。”

Everyone nodded in agreement. Wei Wuxian said, “Thank you everyone for the praise. Hearing them gives me goosebumps.”

师弟道：“不客气啊大师兄。每次都是你挡在前面，你值得更多呀！”

A younger disciple said, “You’re welcome Da-shixiong. Since you’re the one who blocks hits for us each and every time, you deserve more.”

[每次都是你挡在前面 - (by character) every, instance, all, is, you, block,at, front, facing. Basically every time something comes up, WWX stands out front and takes the hits… ]

魏无羡惊讶道：“哦？还有更多，说来听听。”

Wei Wuxian said, shocked, “Oh? There’s more. Let’s hear it.” 

江澄听不下去了，道：“都住口！再不好好说话，当心我扎穿了船底，一起死了干净。”

Jiang Cheng could not bear hearing more. He said, “Everyone shut up. If you don’t say reasonable things, I just might smash through the bottom of the boat so we all die a clean death.”

这时，途经一片水域，两岸是农田。田里有几名身姿娇小的农女耕作，见他们的小船驶过，奔向水边，远远招呼，道：“哎——！”

At this time, they crossed a section of water with farmland on both sides. In the rice paddies, a few small framed farm girls were plowing. When they saw the boys’ small boat pass by, they ran to the water and waved, “Hey -----!”

众人也“哎”地应了，七手八脚去捅魏无羡：“师兄，叫你呢！人家叫你！”

Everyone responded with a “Hey” and then jabbed Wei Wuxian, “Shixiong, they’re calling you! They’re calling you!”

魏无羡定睛一瞧，果然是他带着头打过交道的，心头霎时乌云退散晴空万里，也站起来挥手招呼，笑道：“什么事！”

Wei Wuxian looked over. Indeed they were people he had led the boys in acquainting. His mood immediately brightened. He stood up, waved, and asked, laughing, “What’s up?”

[心头- heart, 霎时 - suddenly, 乌云- dark clouds, 退散 - receded and scattered, 晴空 - clear skies, 万里- ten thousand li. Beautiful description but “His mood immediately brightened” is equivalent. 什么-what  事-event/business, so colloquially, what’s up? ^^]

小船顺水流，农女们在岸边跟着走，边走边道：“你们是不是又去偷莲蓬了！”

The small boat moved with the water current and the farm girls followed on land. They walked and talked, “Did you guys go steal lotus pods again?”

“快说挨了多少下！”

“Quick! Tell us how many times you were hit!”

“还是去药人家的狗啦？”

“Or did you go drug other people’s dog?”

江澄听了几句，恨不得把他一脚踢下船去，痛心疾首：“你这臭名远扬的，真是给咱们家丢脸。”

Jiang Cheng listened for a few sentences and wanted to kick Wei Wuxian off the boat. He said with bitterness, “Your foul reputation has spread so widely. You’ve really lost face for our family.”

魏无羡辩解道：“她们说的是‘你们’，我们一伙儿的好吗，要丢脸也是一起丢脸。”

Wei Wuxian defended himself, explaining, “They said ‘you guys’. We’re all in this together, ok? If we lose face, we lose face together.”

这厢两人正掐着，那头一名农女又喊道：“好吃吗！”

While the two were fighting, the first farmgirl yelled, “Was it yummy?”

魏无羡百忙之中抽空道：“什么？”

Wei Wuxian paused in the middle of fighting, “What?”

[ok, i don’t know why mxtx chose to describe this as 百忙之中抽空  (found some time in the midst of pressing affairs) so i just described what she was trying to describe if that makes sense. I think it’s an unnecessary exaggeration on her part and frankly annoyed me… fighting jc shouldn’t take that much effort. They do it on reflex. this might also be hour 7 or 8 of me translating and my brain is fried but i’m angrily determined to finish lotus extra part 1 tonight. Forgive this loopy angry translator for exercising artistic discretion.]

农女道：“我们送的西瓜，好吃吗！”

The farm girl said, “The watermelons we sent over. Were they good?”

魏无羡恍然大悟，道：“西瓜原来是你们送的啊。很好吃！怎么不送进来坐坐，我们请你们吃茶！”

Wei Wuxian suddenly understood, “The watermelons were from you guys! They were delicious! Why didn’t you come in and visit for a bit? We could have offered you tea!”

那农女嫣然一笑，道：“送去的时候你们不在，放了就走，不敢坐啦。好吃就好！”

The farm girl smiled sweetly.  “When we brought it over, you guys weren’t there. We set them down and left. We dared not stay. Glad they were good!”

魏无羡道：“谢谢！”他从船底捞出几个大莲蓬，道，“请你们吃莲蓬，下次进来看我练剑啊！”

Wei Wuxian said, “Thank you!” He then scooped up a few large lotus pods and said, “Have some lotus pods on us! Next time, come in and watch me practice swords!”

江澄嗤道：“你练剑很好看么？”

Jiang Cheng sneered, “Is your practicing swords attractive?”

[好看 means good + look/watch. It can mean pretty, fun to watch, good for watching, easy on the eyes. Etc. so i picked one… maybe i should’ve used “is your practicing swords worth watching?” but it’s just a slightly different sense? Also, 好看 was used by wwx when lwj offered to carry him after wwx took a zidian whip to his leg and then transferred the curse on jin ling onto the same leg. He asked lwj is a man carrying another man attractive? Or maybe is it something that can be watched without shame? The implications are it would be shameful in that case. In this case JC is just expressing his disapproval for wwx’s flirting. You know? I can see why some people think JC is aro/ace because he doesn’t seem to get this stuff… like AT ALL. ]

魏无羡这么朝岸边丢着莲蓬，抛得老远，落入人手里却是轻轻巧巧的。他抓了几只往江澄胸口塞，搡他：“你愣着干什么，你也赶紧的。”

Wei Wuxian threw the lotus pods towards land. Despite flying a long distance, the lotus pods were light and easy to catch. He grabbed a few more lotus pods and shoved them at Jiang Cheng’s chest, “Why are you doing in a daze? Hurry up!”

江澄被搡了两下，不得已接了，道：“赶紧的什么？”

Jiang Cheng took the lotus pods against his will after getting them shoved at him. “Hurry up and do what?”

魏无羡道：“你也吃了西瓜，还不得给人家回礼啊。来来不要不好意思，都丢起来，丢起来。”

Wei Wuxian said, “You also ate the watermelon. You need to return a gift. Come on, don’t be embarrassed. Everyone, throw! Throw!”

江澄嗤道：“笑话，这有什么不好意思的。”话是这么说，可一船师弟都开始丢得不亦乐乎了，他还没动手。魏无羡又道：“那你丢啊。这次丢了，下次就可以问她们莲蓬好不好吃��又可以搭话了！”

Jiang Cheng sneered, “Funny. What is there to be embarrassed about?” His words were such, but even though all the younger disciples on the boat were gleefully throwing lotus pods, he still had not thrown any. Wei Wuxian said again, “Then throw! If we throw this time, next time we can ask them if the lotus pods were delicious. It’ll be another opportunity for conversation!”

众师弟恍然大悟：“原来如此，受教了，师兄真是经验老道啊！”

All the younger disciples felt enlightened. “So that’s how it is. We are learning! Shixiong is truly experienced!”

[suddenly understood was used by mxtx again. I’m translating it as enlightened due to context. Also, she needs to stop repeating the same phrasing over and over again… ]

“一看就是经常干这种事的！”

“Clearly you do this a lot!���

“哪里哪里，哈哈哈哈……”

“You flatter me, hahahaha….”

[哪里哪里 means where, where; as in where is this compliment coming from? So ‘you flatter me’ is the appropriate way to express this sentiment]

江澄本来要丢的，一听这话瞬间清醒，深觉丢人，剥开一只莲蓬自己吃了起来。

Jiang Cheng was originally going to throw the lotus pod, but acquired clarity upon hearing the conversation. He felt the action was severely embarrassing and broke open a lotus pod for himself to eat instead.

船在水里走，姑娘们在岸上小步追，接着船上少年们抛过来的翠绿莲蓬，沿路跑沿路笑。魏无羡右手搭在眉间，望着这一路风景，笑着笑着，叹了口气。众人道：“大师兄怎么啦？”“妹子们追着你跑还叹气啊？”

The boat moved in the water. The girls scurried along on land, catching the jade green lotus pods tossed over by the youths on the boat, running and laughing all the way. Wei Wuxian’s right hand rested between his brows, watching the scenery pass by. As he smiled, he let out a sigh. Everyone asked, “Da-shixing, what’s wrong?” “Girls are chasing us but you sigh?”

魏无羡把桨扛上肩，嘿道：“没怎么，只是想到我诚心诚意请蓝湛来云梦玩儿，他居然敢拒绝我。”

Wei Wuxian lifted an oar onto his shoulders and smirked, “Nothing much. I’m just thinking about how I sincerely invited Lan Zhan to Yunmeng for a visit, but he actually refused me.”

众师弟竖起大拇指：“哇，不愧是蓝忘机！”

All the younger disciples gave a thumbs up, “Wow. Lan Wangji really deserves his reputation!”

[so for CQL folk, 不愧是蓝忘机 means ‘he’s not Lan Wangji for nothing’ or ‘deserves to be lwj’ but i think ‘deserves his reputation’ is a better translation in context, ok? It’s a sentence structure seen at the end of ep 50 when wwx says to lwj ‘you 不愧是 hanguang-jun’ and lwj responds back ‘you 不愧是 wei ying’. 不 is not and 愧 is ashamed so it means not ashamed to be? Something like that. There’s a chinese Yibo meme where whenever he’s a gremlin or does something impressive, they pop up 不愧是我 next to him. Like, of course i deserve my reputation. There’s a hunxi-guilai post about it so just go look if you’re still confused. I can try to explain more if you lmk what’s confusing?]

魏无羡意气风发地道：“住口！总有一天我要把他拖来，然后把他踹下船去，骗他去偷莲蓬，让老头用竹竿子敲他，让他追在我后面跑，哈哈哈哈……”

Wei Wuxian declared with vigor, “Shut up! One day I will drag him here. And then I will kick him off the boat, deceive him into stealing lotus pods, get the old man to hit him with the bamboo pole, and make him chase after me as I run off, hahahaha...”

[Can i just say how much I LOVE THIS?! Because WWX is one track mind crushing/fixating on LWJ and it just delights me that he wants LWJ to share all his experiences and adventures. It’s so much of I want him to suffer with me, focusing on the WITH ME. and WWX has no idea that’s why he’s so fixated. Aaaaaaaaaah!]

长笑了一阵，他回头，看了看坐在船头一个人板着脸吃莲蓬的江澄，笑容逐渐消失，叹道：“唉，真是孺子不可教也。”

After laughing for a while, he turned his head and looked at the Jiang Cheng who was sitting at the end of the boat grumpily eating lotus pods alone. Wei Wuxian’s smile gradually faded. He sighed and said, “Alas, the child cannot be taught.”

江澄怒了：“我就想自己吃怎么了？”

Jiang Cheng was angered. “So what if I want to eat it myself.”

魏无羡道：“你啊你，江澄。算了，你没救了，你就一辈子自己吃吧！”

Wei Wuxian said, “Oh, you, Jiang Cheng. Whatever, you’re hopeless. You can just eat them yourself for the rest of your life.”

[算了 is like drop it, or let it go. Wwx is saying it to himself so it’s like whatever if whatever were said to jiang cheng.]

总之，偷莲蓬的小船，再一次满载而归。

In short, the small boat that went to steal lotus pods once again returned after a successful journey.

[surveysonfleek]

1447.

1. I’m sure we all know what your name is… so, tell us what your boss’ name is? bryce.

2. Do you actually read your friend’s surveys, or do you just copy paste them and fill them out yourself? haha i don’t have any friends who have a survey tumblr.

3. Which is your favorite episode of “I Love Lucy”? tbh i’ve never watched an episode. it’s not a huge thing here.

4. Do you consider yourself a deep thinker? i can be.

5. Name two people who you are closest with? my boyfriend and irene.

6. Which one of those two people would you eat first, if you were starving? hahaha. neither.

7. How many red shirts do you own? one comes to mind. i have more red dresses.

8. No one cares whether or not you believe in love at first sight… but, do you believe in hate at first sight? haha i don’t think so. something would have to cause the hate to begin with.

9. How old will you be in 2021? 30. depressing!

10. Would you rather be tone deaf or colour blind? colour blind.

11. When do you think is the proper time in a relationship to give the other person your business card? i didn’t know that was a thing.

12. When you were a kid, which comic strip was your favorite? peanuts and garfield. the simpsons comics were also fun.

13. If you could only wear a sock on one foot for the rest of your life… which foot is it?“ right. idk why.

14. How many words can you make out of the letters of your name? i could think of 10 but probably more.

15. How do you feel about fake plants? they’re nice as long as they don’t get dusty.

16. What is your obsessive compulsion? idk.

17. Do you know what the heck the difference is between the statements “we’re just dating” and “we’re together”? it depends on their interpretation. to me, dating is sorta just getting to know each other without commitment. being ‘together’ is more serious i feel. 

18. When you think, do you see the words that you are thinking in your mind, as if they were being written down?” not at all.

19. If a person is brought up speaking both Spanish and English in equal amounts and equally fluently, which language do they think in? whichever their first language was. or they could totally just do both.

20. Does it make you uncomfortable when people ask you your shoe size? nope.

21. Would you feel guilty about cheating on your taxes if you got away with it? 100%. i don’t want to even try.

22. You are walking on the beach when suddenly you find a genie lamp. You rub it, and out pops the genie. He proclaims that he is so thankful to you for letting him out after thousands of years that he gives you three wishes. What do you think he did with his time while he was in there? waiting.

23. If you had braces, would you put little diamonds on your brackets and call them your “grill”? haha no.

24. You have 24 hours to live… what are you going to wear? the most comfortable outfit ever.

25. Which is worse… someone blowing cigarette smoke in your face, or kissing someone who has dip in their mouth? kissing someone with dip in their mouth wtf. if someone blew smoke in my face at least i could just walk away lol.

26. Had you ever answered any of these questions before? probably.

27. Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced? yeah when i was like 15 lol. never did it.

28. Who were you with last night? i was at work.

29. What woke you up this morning? the heat.

30. Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor? no.

[sleepybam]

tagged by @kleinmansbathbombs & @wyatts-noodle-hair 😘

rule #1 tag 9 people you want to get to know better:

I WANNA GET TO KNOW YOU: @parscraft @gingerbreddie @liana-fire @kasbrough @tubulardustin @invincible-selfxmade-punk @hetare-hetalia @winterswand @sassy-molassy

rule #2 highlight the true statements in bold

(brackets are personal comments)

I am 5'7 or taller

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

My abs are somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

I love meeting new people

People tell me I’m funny

Helping people with their problems is a big priority to me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude to people I know well

I started to say something ironically, now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

I can play an instrument

I can sing well

I can do 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least two people in an arm wrestle

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I can throw a punch

I enjoy sports

I have learned a new song in the past week

I’ve gone running at least one week in the summer

I work out at least once a week (does dance count??)

I have drawn something in the last month

I enjoy writing

I have done martial arts (I want to!!)

I have had my first kiss (only kissed girls, waiting for that boy ;))

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have had alcohol

I have scored a winning goal in sports

I have been to an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in hospital/er in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

I have at least one person I consider a best friend

I live close to my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the US

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with friends in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CD’s

I share my room with someone

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know (well, I just met him but..)

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush for over a year

I have been in a relationship for over a year

I have had feelings for a friend

I have break danced

I know a person called Jamie

I have made a new friend in the past year

I have had a teacher with a last name hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I am listening to a song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I have known someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what to do with my life

I speak at least two languages (I’m learning german though, I’m pretty good I think??)

[kleinmansbathbombs]

tagged by @sad-synth, thanks so much for tagging me 

rule #1 tag 9 people you want to get to know better:

I WANNA GET TO KNOW YOU: @dear-bensplatt @megan-hufflepuff @demolitionbucky @miketozixr @80seddie @thekidsofneibolt @temptedtozier @stanlons @mikestanlon and anyone else who wants to do this!

rule #2 highlight the true statements in bold

(brackets are personal comments)

I am 5'7 or taller (I'm only 5′4″)

I wear glasses 

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing (only ear piercings)

I have blonde hair 

My abs are somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

I love meeting new people

People tell me I’m funny

Helping people with their problems is a big priority to me (usually, but sometimes it’s just too much)

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude to people I know well (only people who are okay with it though)

I started to say something ironically, now I can’t stop saying it (tbh everything I say started out as an ironic phrase or inside joke)

There is something I would change about my personality 

I can play an instrument (flute and clarinet bitch) 

I can sing well 

I can do 30 pushups without stopping 

I’m a fast runner 

I can draw well (I wish) 

I have a good memory (usually)

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute (idk I haven’t gone swimming in over three years)

I have beaten at least two people in an arm wrestle

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch (I LOVE cooking)

I can throw a punch (mama didn’t raise no bitch, jk she did, but I had two annoying siblings growing up)

I enjoy sports 

I have learned a new song in the past week

I’ve gone running at least one week in the summer

I work out at least once a week (does gym class count, bc that's all the exercise I do) 

I have drawn something in the last month 

I enjoy writing

I have done martial arts

I have had my first kiss

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting (I can’t sit still for that long, I need a break when watching T.V.) 

I have had alcohol 

I have scored a winning goal in sports 

I have been to an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in hospital/er in the past year (I absolutely hate going to the doctors and avoid it at all costs)

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country (I hardly leave my state)

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts (Bastille)

I have at least one person I consider a best friend 

I live close to my school

My parents are still together 

I have at least one sibling (an older brother, and a younger half-sister)

I live in the US

There is snow right now where I live (fuck I wish)

I have hung out with friends in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CD’s 

I share my room with someone 

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships (surprising, I know)

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily (I get crushes on everyone, if we have talked before, I probably have a crush on you)

I have had a crush for over a year 

I have been in a relationship for over a year 

I have had feelings for a friend

I have break danced

I know a person called Jamie

I have made a new friend in the past year

I have had a teacher with a last name hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair (a few times. it never looked that good)

I am listening to a song on repeat right now 

I have punched someone in the past week (I'm too shy to be violent towards people)

I have known someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone (I broke my leg jumping from a swing)

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what to do with my life (hahaha I wish)

I speak at least two languages ( I can kinda speak Spanish, but not very well bc I spend half of that class having panic attacks)

[the-numbers-game]

GIRL

[I found an old ask meme in my drafts so I’ve decided to do it cos I’m procrastinating from my last two bits of uni work of all time, idk when this is from originally, maybe like 2014ish? but I’ve deleted my answers and redone it with my apple music, although I still like the same music so it makes no difference lmao]

1. Put your music player on shuffle. 2. For each question, press the next button, and the title of that song is your answer. 3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS 4. Put any comments in [brackets] after the song name

What is your gender?: Dandy - The Kinks

Describe yourself!: Depression - Black Flag

What do people feel when they’re around you?: It’s Hard To Be A Saint In The City - David Bowie

Describe your current relationship: Black Metal - Venom 

Where would you like to be now?: Making You Cry - Screeching Weasel

How do you feel about love?: Staying Up Late - Talking Heads [well, it is after 3am]

What’s your life like?: Two Become One - Atreyu What would you wish for if you had only one wish?: Fuck The Kids - noFX [OH GOD HAHAHA, hopefully interpreted to mean eff the youth cos they suck]

Say something wise: Running Free - Iron Maiden If someone says “Is this okay?” You say: Army Of Zombies - Lars Frederiksen and the Bastards How would you describe yourself?: I Miss You - blink-182 What do you look for in a relationship?: Buddy Holly - Weezer

How do you feel today?: On a Night Like This - Bob Dylan What is your life’s purpose?: The Moron Brothers - noFX

What is your motto?: Demons - Imagine Dragons

What do your friends think of you?: Boring - blink-182 [tbh they do]

What do you think of your parents?: Territorial Pissing - Nirvana  What do you think about very often?: Reverse This Curse - Escape the Fate  What is 2 + 2?: Going Down To Die - Danzig

What do you think of your best friend?: American Nightmare - Misfits

What do you think of the person you like?: Sound System - Operation Ivy

What is your life story?: Where Eagles Dare - Misfits

When you were little, what did you want to be when you grow up?: Ramones - Motorhead

What’s your dream job?: A Little Piece of Heaven - Avenged Sevenfold [oh God, it had to be this song didn’t it]

What do you think of when you see the person you like?: Going Underground - The Jam 

What will you dance to at your wedding?: Disorder - Joy Division [kinda goals]

What will they play at your funeral?: On A Night Like This - Bob Dylan

What is your hobby/interest: Ball & Chain - Social Distortion  What is your biggest fear?: Youth of Today - Youth of Today

What is your biggest secret?: Boot Stamping On A Human Face Forever - Bad Religion 

What do you think of your friends?: When I Come Around - Green Day 

What would you name this post?: Girl - The Beatles

I tag whoever wants to do this, cos we’re all adults now and I cba and I want my bed

[irairaptero]

Highlighting Tag

@kamuithedragonlord tagged me in this one too! tysm!

Rule #1 Tag 9 people you want to get to know better:

I always tag the same people so I guess y’all are tagged @queen-faptain​ @halfelfwizard​ @thelanternintheforest

Rule #2 Highlight the true statements in bold

(brackets are personal comments)

I am 5'7 or taller (Just barely 5′7)

I wear glasses (I can’t see without them I’m like Velma from Scooby Doo it’s a mess)

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing (Not even ears. Hate needles.)

I have blonde hair 

My abs are somewhat defined (on the fence about this one. you can see where they are if I tense a little bit or stand up straight but I rarely do either of those)

I have or have had braces

I love meeting new people (Today on social anxiety)

People tell me I’m funny 

Helping people with their problems is a big priority to me (psych major, going into counseling)

I enjoy physical challenges (though I prefer strength based to endurance bc asthma is A Thing)

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude to people I know well (I think I call my friends bitches on the daily and I drag my platonic husband regularly)

I started to say something ironically, now I can’t stop saying it (for me it’s “yeet” and I hate it a lot)

There is something I would change about my personality 

I can play an instrument (Piano and viola, and if taiko drums count those)

I can sing well (I sound like a dying duck but will that stop me from belting musicals with my friends? Hell no)

I can do 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well (eh I guess)

I have a good memory (only for other people though, like knowing what my friends like)

I’m good at doing maths in my head (Depends on the day but I’m usually passable at it)

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute (maybe? idk for sure but I might say no)

I have beaten at least two people in an arm wrestle (skating doesn’t bring upper arm strength lol)

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I can throw a punch (I’ve never punched anybody, I’m meek as fuck)

I enjoy sports

I have learned a new song in the past week

I’ve gone running at least one week in the summer

I work out at least once a week (I try but illness and finals has killed it lately)

I have drawn something in the last month

I enjoy writing

I have done martial arts

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol (never have never will)

I have scored a winning goal in sports (maybe in peewee soccer but I don’t remember lol)

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been to an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in hospital/er in the past year (yay for heart issues!)

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favourite band’s concerts

I have at least one person I consider a best friend

I live close to my school (I mean I live on campus)

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the US

There is snow right now where I live (about an inch or two)

I have hung out with friends in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CD’s (So many CDs. So many)

I share my room with someone

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily (It really depends. Like I can’t feel sexual attraction so That Ain’t A Thing but I get emotionally attached fast, but it really takes me a while to figure out “is this crush or not” bc of the lack of sexual component. I’ve had I think three or maybe four crushes in my life so I guess not?) 

I have had a crush for over a year

I have been in a relationship for over a year (Kinda? Almost? but not quite)

I have had feelings for a friend (ha. hahaha. I feel called out)

I have break danced

I know a person called Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair (unless like spray dye that comes out in the shower counts)

I am listening to a song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I have known someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what to do with my life

I speak at least two languages (I’m semi-fluent in Japanese so I speak it passably but not great. Yay for my other major)

I have made a new friend in the past year

[skeweredplasmablade]

100 Truths

Tagged by @king-artoria yer gr8

To the people I tagged, no pressure to do it if you don’t want to!

1. Real name : Lylat

2. Nickname(s) : Danielle is my middle name so some people call me Danny

3. Fav. color: Blue

4. Male or female : Female

5. Nursery/Kindergarten : Kindergarten

6. Primary School : an elementary school

7. Secondary :a high school

8. College : a college

9. Hair Color : brown

10. Tall or Short : tall. 

11. Sweats or Jeans : gym shorts or skirt+leggings

12. Phone or Camera : Phone

13. Health freak : AHAHHA HAHHA  HAHAHA I’m gonna die in 4 years.

14. Orange or Apple : Apples!

15. Do you have a crush on someone : hmmm........... I consider myself open to a relationship with someone if things fall together, but I do have a crush.

16. Eat or Drink : eat

17. Piercings : none. Maybe I should get my ears pierced?

18. Pepsi or Coke: Vanilla Coke by default, then pepsi. I will not drink regular coke.

19. Been in an airplane : a few times to visit online friends and such!

20. Been in a relationship : Like 8 or 9 relationships? Under a dozen.

21. Been in a car accident : A very small one

22. Been in a fist fight : I got jumped by 5 people and spit blood on them, does that count?

23. First piercing : N/A

24. Best friend(s): @tohsaka-rin and a few friends from back home... but....

25. First award : Soccer?

26. First crush : Crush that didnt work out? A girl named Sarah

27. First word : "MINE” LMFAO

28. Zodiac Sign: Capricorn

29. Last person you texted : My studio guy

30. Last person you talked to: @caren-ortensia

31. Last person you watched a movie with : i dont remember movie wise

32. Last food you ate : McDonalds

33. Last movie you watched : errrr Doctor Strange maybe?

34. Last song you listened to : I’m watching a Bo Burnham special right now.

35. Last thing you bought : food

37. Fav Food : Pizza probably, and fast food

38. Fav Drink : Pink lemonade~

39. Fav Bottoms : gym shorts honestly, but when I dont wanna look like a slob, skirts and shorts.

40. Fav Flower : hrm........

41. Fav Animal : Sloths and Giraffes

42. Color/s : Blue, again

43. Fav Movie : Idk anymore at this point.

44. Fav Subject : Philosophy, it’s what im working towards a Ph.D in after all!

HAVE YOU EVER:

(Put an X in the brackets if yes)

45. [x] fallen in love with someone.

46. [x]celebrated Halloween.

47. [x] had your heart broken

48. [x] went over the data on your cell phone.

49. [x] had someone like you

51. [ ] got pregnant.

52. [ ] had an abortion.

53. [x] did something I regret.

54. [x] broke a promise.

55. [x] hid a secret.

56. [x] pretended to be happy.

57. [x] met someone who changed your life.

58. [x] pretended to be sick.

59. [ ] left the country.

60. [x] tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it

61. [x] cried over the silliest thing.

62. [x] ran a mile.

63. [ ] went to the beach with your best friend.

64. [x] got into an argument with your friends.

65. [x] disliked someone.

66. [ ] stayed single for 2 years since the first time you had a boyfriend/girlfriend.

CURRENTLY:

67. Eating : Soon I’ll be eating stuffed breadsticks

68. Drinking : water

69. Listening : Bo Burnham

70. Sitting/Laying : My computer desk

71. Plans for today: Read for class tomorrow, play video games, and enjoy the last hours of summer

72. Waiting for : Something to turn my life on its head

YOUR FUTURE:

73. Want kids : Nope nope nope

74. Want to get married : I don’t believe in marriage, but I can see myself changing my mind with the right person

75. Career : I’m currently a college educator

76. Lips or eyes : Eyes

77. Shorter or Taller : I’m not picky

78. Romantic or spontaneous : spontaneous romance - the kind that falls together fast and hard and successfully without anyone seeing it coming.

81. Hook-up or relationship : Relationship

82. Looks or personality: Personality is most important but I’m also fairly shallow.

HAVE YOU EVER:

83. Lost glasses/contacts : Yeah, I lost my glasses before. 

84. Snuck out of a house : I ran away from home altogether lmao.

85. Held a gun/knife for self defense : I used to carry a knife on me

86. Killed somebody : Nope

87. Broken someone’s heart : Yes, several

88. Been in love : Yes

89. Cried when someone died : Yeah but I’m weird about death now.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

90. Yourself : As much self-depreciating humor as I dish out, yeah I believe in myself most of the time.

91. Miracles : The jury is out on this.

92. Love at first sight : Not Love, no.

93. Heaven : Nah

94. Santa Claus: Nah

95. Aliens: I think it’s a statistical necessity

96. Ghosts : I want to believe!!!

TRUTHFULLY:

97. Is there one person you really want to be with right now : a reunion, yeah.

98. Do you know who your real friends are : I hope so.

100. Post as 100 truths : Yee

TAGGING: I’m not tagging people that I know have already been tagged, so @loli-lolli, @mushishitposter, @mnemosyneslunarian, @kitsusplode, and @yuubey Do if you want to, please!

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

1/14/17, 5:41am - can’t sleep

too much stuff on my mind. and a bit of a headache. I know I said I’d quit this thing, but I can’t. but as far as I’m concerned, if I’m going to cop out of that I’m at least going to swear off the kiss-and-tell braggadocio though. And tone down the negative vibe. 

This aboutta be some feelgood shit up in here. 

I mean not everything’s going great. To be totally honest I still have literally no idea how this financial situation is going to work out. But I’m sure it will.

But my friends have been so good to me. I love them all so much.

Need to start with the excellent gourmet kingdom dinner that I went out to with the smash fam on wednesday. Lucas, Corey, Dylan, Patricio, Clem, Jwilli, Spencer all treated me. Fuck I hope I’m not forgetting someone lmao. I know I’m forgetting like one or two mofukkas. I wasn’t going to go ofc, but since I wasn’t going to go because money was tight they offered to pay for my meal and I reluctantly accepted.  [as much as i’d do it for anyone, I still feel a little bothered accepting these kinds of gifts from my friends. I don’t really feel like I can’t take care of myself or something, I just feel like I... shouldn’t. Because if I can’t plan on coming out of my own financial problems how can I plan on paying them back and how can I accept a gift in the first place then?]

Thursday I got to team with Ian, and it was some of the most fun I’ve ever had playing in tournament. We DOMINATED the winners bracket of that tournament. only lost one game and had some of the filthiest combos I’ve ever seen in my life. Just got cold waiting for grands and didn’t play as well. Was so much fun though, really made me happy to have poured so much time into practicing. Just gotta keep doing better.

After the tournament a whole ton of people came over to my place to play for the night. Can’t even get into it but it was great. in all I played from 4pm until 6am and only stopped because I got a splitting headache and felt like I was going to die finally hahahah... Probably should have gotten some dinner or somethnig lmao.

I was supposed to try to play with Kevin today, but instead I spent the day with Weilin. Him and a few people had crashed at my place, so we went on a mini road trip to take Decker back to greensboro. We spent a little time trying to get his phone fixed, spent some time trying to find me new pants, ate some delicious gyros and had a long car talk about hentai and the pursuit of happiness and financial goals and life and melee and everything, man. So glad that happened. 

We met up with Arun, Arvind, Irene, and Broscious to eat at Bali Hai and do an escape room out at durham. Got a huge ass plate of meat thanks to weilin covering for me, and had a great time solving the 90′s themed puzzles with the gang. We tore it up, too. Only got stumped by a cd in a book and a madonna song hahaha. Those guys are all some smart motherfuckers, I’ll tell ya whattt. And while we waited for this safe to unlock me and Broscious got to slam down some Pogs and mostly just slap them around on a table hahahahaha. I was supposed to go to a party tonight that my old pokemon go team was throwing to celebrate Kelly turning level 40, but there was no way I was gonna pull myself away from those guys for anything. We spent a couple hours playing board games and talking/gossipping/catching up and getting cookout. Excited as fuck to do it again tomorrow.

But the real reason I’m writing this post is because Irene wanted us to do this neat little thing that was admittedly a little lame but amazingly feelgood and really made me happy. I think she called it a compliment circle, where we all had to think of at least a compliment for each other, and we took turns doing whatever the opposite of a roast is. I really don’t want to forget any of the things that they said, because it’s not often that people go out of their way to give you honest totally-for-nothing compliments, yknow? They’re not verbatim because my short term memory sucks, but I’ll do my best here.

“You’re the best.” “you have a beautiful smile and jaw structure and face and eyes and you’re just a great looking dude and if I were a chick I’d date you and if you were a chick I’d date you, and if we both were chicks I’d date you.” “it seems like you always have a lot of things messing with your life, but despite that you’re always a great person to be around. you never seem to let things get to you and you always have a smile on your face and you’re never a downer.” “you do a lot of things for your friends and the melee community and just people in general. you never really seem to expect anything in return and I don’t think that gets brought up much.” “You make me push myself to be better.” “I like your nose” (weird. broscious, you don’t read my blog, do you??) “you’ve got a really warm personality and do a really great job of including everyone when you try to talk to them and like in the puzzle room.” “You’re always there for me, even at times when nobody else was.”

goddamn, man. I don’t even care if it’s narcissistic to put those down here. I have to put them Somewhere. Literally shed a tear writing them down, I feel so good about all that shit. It really couldn’t have come at a better time with everything hitting the fan and all of my self image issues recently. Maybe they knew that. 

What I didn’t think to tell them then was that it’s friends like them and everyone I hung out this week and everyone in my life that cares about me still that make my life so happy in the first place. It’s like... when I finally get to be in a room with people I know and can enjoy their company it’s like all the bullshit that exists outside just isn’t important anymore. Relaxing by talking and playing games is so fucking wonderful.

Speaking of my issues again, might as well follow up on new years goals and self improvement stuff.

Feeling much better about my teeth. Got my cavities filled (I had fucking TEN), got my teeth cleaned for the first time in years, I’ve finally got this image out of my head that my crowned tooth looks dead. Forreal, idk if it was the cleaning, or just talking to the dentist about whether they think it matches and then thinking about it, or what the deal is, but I Swear ever since I decided it wasn’t worth having my crown replaced again it’s looked better. Matches color better and more consistently, doesn’t look off balanced, I just look good. I really want to blame it on the cleaning but maybe it really was just a mental thing... Idk. I’m just happy my teeth are finally healthy, holy shit thinking about my mouth too hard the past couple years has been horrifying. Right now my gums hurt because I flossed for the first time in forever. Might be why I can’t sleep, but starting good habits.

Don’t know what’s up with my weight, haven’t been keeping track of that yet.

Have been doing Great about drinking water. Have only drank soda on a few occasions at all, back to living on powdered lemonade like I said I would. Probably should still be drinking more, but off to a great start. Still haven’t been on reddit since the new year (though I don’t think I wrote this resolution down), but still passively start to type it in the search bar sometimes. Shit’s difficult. Progress on my septum is put on hold for now, family doctor is waiting to refer me until I have a followup visit with them about my lab work. Supposedly I had “small red blood cells” so like either dehydration or anemia. Probably both lolll. Hopefully not something more serious, but who knows. Been taking a multivitamin daily. Been spending less money lmaoooo.  Haven’t been cooking for myself the past few days but DID start doing that finally. Just gotta keep it up.  Still no good on exercise. Still haven’t bought a pack of cigarettes. Smoking a lot of that pipe tobacco, but it definitely doesn’t make me feel cravings like cigs do. Pretty great there.  Started goofing around on tinder again just to get that out of the way. Got a few matches, but I’ve been sandbagging this game really hard lol. e.g. I’ve been a lottt more picky about who I swipe, way too detailed about how nerdy I am in my profile, and not playing with it all that much tbh. I.e. doing all the things that are probably healthier dating habits but are def not anything close to how you need to play tinder to be successful from what I’ve ever experienced. That being said I’ve already partially rediscovered my hatred for it and think it’s a waste of time, but whatever. Not entirely motivated to meet new people right now anyway, so even if I’m not exactly happy to be swiping through a couple dozen people without matching I’m definitely not let down either. It just doesn’t feel like the right time for me, and also I totally wouldn’t have money for dates now that I think about it lmaoo. Last thing I’m gonna mention is that I haven’t been fucking with my fingers nearly as much. Just lost my week-or-so streak I was on, fidgeting in the car today, but def doing a lot better.

Everything’s doing a lot better. I’m still totally fucked, but I feel pretty great and I’m doing pretty great and everything’s going to be even more great soon enough.

#pogchamp [6:52am. never gonna sleep oh god rip hahaha]