#idk why my brain couldn't be like this for someone who's actually around my age

[le-velo-pour-dru]

Men in their forties that make you fantasize about romance and think phrases like "I'm utterly spellbound by him"

[desperate-daydream]

Hey uhh could you do a five hargreeves x male reader, where the reader is the like,, top in the relationship? Like the big spoon and the one to hold him and shit?? maybe they meet a few days before the apocalypse in the first season and go on a date to griddys or somethin for coffee, and five realizes that he has to save him, but when running in to hazel and cha cha the reader protects him?? idk somethin like that, or just five x top reader headcanons. please? sorry he is my hyperfixation LMAO

☂️ Umbrella Academy

❀ Five Hargreeves x male reader ⚣︎

A/N: yes, of course. Thank you for the request! I'll do my best, hope you like it XD And sorry that it took so damn long.

tags/warnings: plays in season 1, I changed it a bit what happened etc., top/protective reader, bc five deserves to be cared for and protected too, seriously that poor guy needs a break, TW gun

Together, we will save the world

Five Hargreeves had a mission. Save the world (or at least his siblings) and kill everyone who wants to stop him from doing so.

Well, life had slightly different plans for him first.

He was, yet again, running around the city, trying to get away from the so very charming people the Handler had sent after him. And then he crushed into you.

Like, literally. You were standing in a side alley next to the shop you worked in and had just gotten ready to leave, when a boy your age stumbled around the corner. His glance was directed at something behind him and so he just didn't notice you at all.

Five was exhausted from his jumps and his very hard tries of saving this world somehow while his siblings acted like literal children. He was actually the one being a teenager again, but he didn't throw tantrums - ok, maybe a bit but only to finally get some sense into them so he didn't have to do it all alone.

So it was only logical that at some point he wouldn't be as aware as usuall. He crashed into you and almost fell down but you catched him in time thanks to your reflexes.

When you looked down you could only admire the boy you had just catched. Dark brown hair in a cute "polite good boy"-hair cut, sharp features and beautiful hazel eyes. However there were dark circles under those and he seemed pretty tired as he laid almost limpless in your arms.

Five looked up at you and - even though he didn't like to admit it - felt thankful that you catched him. You were good looking and seemed to have no problem with almost carrying him.

"Watch out where you're going, pretty boy." You smirked and Five couldn't believe it but he almost blushed as his eyes widened.

You slowly got him back on his feet steadily but your arms hadn't left his waist yet. Your picture of him became even cuter when you noticed the silly school uniform with those adorable shorts he was wearing.

After what felt way too long Five finally regained some brain cells and was able to hastily move out of your grip. He would've gotten away by now usually but something that he couldn't make out held him in place as he kept staring at you.

He was about to say something when his eyes went wide again as he made out the fast steps of his past-colllegues. His gaze hushed around and then he pushed you into a small niche of the building you were standing next to.

It was narrow and had hardly space for two teenage boys. That's why you stood impossibly close to each other but you couldn't complain. If the universe decided to shove you into a compromised space together with a cute boy then it'd be like that. You smirked again.

"Shouldn't you invi-", you couldn't continue your sentence because of the boy’s hand covering your mouth. You weren't completely dense so you understood the message to shut up.

It seemed like this boy in front of you really was in severe stress. He was acting like he was on the run from something - or someone - and when you heard the voices of two people complaining that they lost "him" again you made the conclusion they must mean the boy whose hand was still drapped above your mouth.

Luckily the people left quickly and the boy visibly relaxed. His hand left your mouth - leaving behind a tingle on your skin - and his shoulders slumped as his body leaned against the brickwall.

"You seem tired and like you really need a break, you know?"

A sharp glance was the only response. And then the boy moved getting out the niche. He was about to walk away but you couldn't have this meeting end so soon. You grabbed his arm and he swiveled around to look at you again.

"I think you need some coffee", you said, "And maybe sugar will be good too. Why don't we go get donuts?"

Five really didn't know how it happened - he had a mission to complete or else everyone would die - but he was so tired of everything and everyone. So he agreed and soon you were sitting in front of each other at a table at Griddy's.

You ordered and while you waited you had a hard time getting a conversation started. You didn't fail to notice how his eyes looked around all the time just waiting for something to happen.

"So.. who were those guys earlier?", you asked. You had quickly come to the conclusion that this guy wouldn't be catched with small talk. And you wanted to help. Everybody just paying close attention to him for more than a minute could see the stress.

The boy looked at you for a seemingly long time. You almost saw him doing a pro-con-list in his head. "Let's just say, I want to do something that they don't appreciate."

"I guess you're not planning on telling me what that is."

"I guess you wouldn't believe me", he remarked and took a sip from his black coffee.

You raised your eyebrows. "Try me."

His eyes looked at you over the edge of his mug before he put it down. His staring proceeded for another minute till he leaned back.

"Alright", another pause, "I'm trying to save the world from the apocalypse."

You were glad that you hadn't drank something that moment because you were sure you would've choked on your drink. Instead your eyebrows raised again and you huffed out a small laugh.

And just as you were about to make a funny comment you looked into his eyes. The words died when you saw the seriousness. He actually believed that. But was it real?

"Okayyy..", while you tried to figure out what to say two people came in. First you didn't really aknowledge it but then you noticed the boy in front of you tensing up.

And before you could say something else the two people suddenly turned in your direction. The man grapped the brunette's arm and the next moment your date (could you call it that? was it a date? you certainly had an interest in this boy. B-but that's not to discuss right now!) was on the other side of the room.

You couldn't believe your eyes at first and just stared. That changed pretty quickly when you saw one of them pointing a gun at your date (still in question) and the other approaching him again. You stood up while trying to stay silent and grabbed the knife next to your plate.

The boy saw you but gladly the other two didn't. It was clear that he didn't want you to get into this too but even you could see that he didn't have any more strength to defend himself. Just as the man went to grab the brunette again you stabbed the knife into the women's shoulder who held the gun.

She let it fall and a string of curse words came out of her mouth as she stummbled to the side. You quickly picked up the gun and pointed it at the man. "Let him go", you threatened while still having an eye on the woman who had fallen into the window next to the door.

"Let him go and go away", you repeated. You were glad that you could handle guns quite efficiently. The man slowly let go and stepped back with raised hands. Unfortunately you didn't pay attention the woman anymore for a split second who sprinted towards you and took the gun out of your hand.

That same moment your date (or whatever he was now) came running towards you too and shortly before the woman pulled the trigger he reached you. A weird feeling overcame you and the next thing you saw was the exterior wall of a building.

For several seconds you stood still starring in the air before you lost balance and stumbled backwards.

“What. The. Fuck.“

The boy sighed.

“Alright. Come on. You saw too much.“

He grabbed your hand to drag you behind him.

“Wait. Don‘t I get an explanation? What did just happen?!“ You‘d be lying if you said that you weren‘t panicking.

He turned to you with a frown.

Five was confused. First he had crushed into you, then you basically asked him out on a date and asked him what he had run from. Something about you made him answer and then the incident with Hazel and Cha-Cha happened.

He decided that he had to take you with him. You had whitnessed enough. And maybe, just maybe, he felt some kind of sympathy for you. He had to admit, you were fairly handsome.

“I‘ll- I‘ll explain on the way.“ He grabbed your hand again to pull you with him. “But we‘ll have to keep moving for now.“ You basically stumbled behind him but you couldn‘t surpress the sheepish grin growing on your face.

Damn, that boy was something different. But you were definitely here for it.

(And if you looked close enough you could see the tiniest smile and blush on his cute face too. After all, he didn‘t let go of your hand for the rest of the walk.

Later that day he became sure about it: Together, you would save the world.)

[aew-kun-age-regression]

"New friends!"

Pairings: Caregiver!Steven Grant, Caregiver!Marc Spector, Caregiver!Jake Lockley x Little!Reader.

Summary: Whilst having issues with reading in the museum you meet some new friends.

Warnings: A kinda rude lady, The 'Reader' can also see whoever isn't fronting (idk why, I just wrote it like that) Nicknames (Compañero, Love, Kid)

Translations~

(Compañero - Buddy)

(Qué - What)

(Hola - Hi)

A/N - This wasn't actually requested at all but they are my comfort characters and I love them and want nothing more than comfort from them <3

(Gender neutral reader)

‼️THIS IS NOT NSFW ‼️

.

.

.

NOT Proofread

.

.

.

It wasn't unusual for the museum to be filled with people of all ages, however normally most people that were there were dragged along by a family member or friend. It was rare that someone came in on their own.

Steven had managed to get his job back as he, Marc and Steven were now all cooperating. Marc and Jake were generally around but whilst at the museum they let Steven front.

Steven had been put behind the till again by Donna, who was by now doing god knows what.

A heavy sigh tore Stevens attention away from the window Marc and Jake were bickering in.

"Hi, what can I help you with?" Steven asked in a friendly tone which caused Marc to roll his eyes.

"There's someone taking up loads of space and not let anyone look at things. Can you do something?"

Steven nodded with a tight lipped smile.

"I did not like her tone" Marc mumbled from the display case Steven was walking past.

Steven reached the section of the museum the lady had been talking about and was not surprised to see someone standing there, although hardly taking up much space.

"Compañero, is that who she was talking about?" Jake asked.

"I assume so" Steven mumbled before walking towards you.

"Hello! I was just wondering if you were okay and if there was anything I could help you with" Steven asked in a soft voice.

Once again he heard a heavy sigh  the woman from earlier clearly not yet satisfied.

"Would you mind joining me for a short walk." Steven asked wanting to get away from the woman.

You nodded and followed him. He walked to a different room and once again asked if you were okay.

"Mmm can’t read it.." you mumbled, shaking your head.

"Can't read it? What do they mean? Asked Jake who stood confused, staring at you.

"Oi Steven ask if it is the signs they can't read" Marc instructs Steven.

You looked at where Marc and Jake were talking from and nodded whilst whispering "the signs.."

Steven stood in shock. "Can you see them?" He gently asked.

You once again nodded before waving to the boys standing in the reflection.

The boys were more than confused but you were not able to answer the questions they were asking. It appeared as though you couldn't even understand what they were saying.

Marc quickly fronted and you took clear notice of the change, now looking at the glass seeing Steven and Jake.

Marc took your arm carefully, ignoring Steven and rolled up you sleeve expecting to see a scale tattoo. But nothing was there.

"How old are you?" He asked, the change is accent throwing you off before answering his question.

"Six!" You half yelled.

"Compañero. What do they mean six? They don't look six!"

Then it clicked. "Marc I think they night ve an age regressor. I remember reading about it once."

"Qué?" Jake questioned.

"It's generally a response to stress or trauma meaning that the brain regresses to a younger age that feels safer." Marc responds  smiling slightly at you.

Steven looks at him confused.

"What? Just cause you didn't realise I was there doesn't mean I wasn't."

Jake sighed. "So what do we do?"

Marc let Steven front again. "Would you like me to read the signs to you?"

"Yes please!!!" You exclaimed

"Okay Love. Well my name is Steven, with a v. That's Marc and that's Jake" Steven said whilst pointing at the respective men.

"Hi Steven! Hi Marc! Hi Jake!"

"Hey Kid"

"Hola"

Steven smiles and carefully takes your hand leading youbtobthe displays as he begins talking about what your looking at.

You ended up having an amazing day, leaving with a Taweret plushie and you and Steven ended up making plans to meet up again at the museum the next day so he could keep showing you around.

[thewhumpcaretaker]

What r ur thoughts on HopelesslyDevoted(Chidi x Vincent)? :3 they’re sooo doomed bodyguard x boss yaoi

I HAVE. SO MANY. THOUGHTS.

Once again you poisoned my brain, thank you. Ever since that gorgeous fic...dang. Well, now I can yap about it!

TW: mentions of drug use and an abusive family, and NSFW stuff

Okay so first of all, let's think about the nature of a personal bodyguard in the JW universe. This is not just anyone who has the necessary qualifications. This has to be someone who is willing to die for you and who absolutely will not betray. (I believe Gianna picked Cassian for that reason but that's another story). So Chidi did something for Vincent that proved he would be loyal to the death.

What did he do? I think he was a Myrmadon who was serving under Vincent's father, back when Vincent was younger (around college-age). So they've known each other for a long time - it's actually sort of a friends-to-lovers situation. He was around Vincent, but not allowed to speak to him most of the time - or at least, it would have been awkward to do so. He just watched him from afar and became very fond of him, and they talked occasionally. At some point, perhaps during an attack by a rival family, Chidi was ordered to focus on defending property or another De Gramont family member but he disobeyed and saved Vincent's life instead. You could even go so far as to say that he saved Vincent's life instead of his father's - that would be a lot of drama. In any case, he expected to be executed for what he did, but instead, Vincent made him his personal bodyguard.

Why is Chidi so in love loyal? Because he's thoroughly charmed by Vincent. He admires him in every way. Here is a man who's breathtakingly beautiful, wildly charismatic, intelligent, talented...don't get him started on it honestly, because he could praise Vincent forever. Vincent is also more social than Chidi could ever be (this is very much an extrovert-adopts-an-introvert situation). He sees Vincent's more potentially negative characteristics too, such as his pride and arrogance, but doesn't see them as flaws. He's also one of the few people who has really seen what Vincent has been through on a personal level. They don't often talk about it, but he witnessed Vincent being mistreated by his family pretty frequently and it made him massively protective. He gets why his bien-aimé is like this.

How did Vincent fall in love? Initially, Vincent mistreated Chidi a lot. He saw someone who was hopelessly devoted to him and thought, "What a fool. Well, at least I can use him." He never did anything really awful, but he was generally rude and mocking, didn't give Chidi any breaks when working, exploded at him in anger, that kind of thing. But over time, little moments of vulnerability happened that a bodyguard inevitably sees. Being tired after a long day. Getting sick. Breaking down after an argument. And Chidi always went out of his way to make sure Vincent was comfortable in moments like that. Vincent slowly started to notice. He also noticed things that he admired about Chidi - his calmness, his determination, his emotional intelligence, his skills with not just fighting, but also cooking and even sewing (idk why but I think he likes to sew and sewed a button back on for Vincent during a fashion emergency at some point). Eventually Vincent started to wonder and secretly hope that there could be something between them, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything - it would mean too much to him to have someone who genuinely cares for him. He didn't dare to confess his feelings and test whether it was true.

So instead he started fucking him, oops! Just casually. For fun. Because they're both hot. Definitely nothing more than that...next thing you know, they're married.

Miscellaneous Things:

They’re both good at fencing and sometimes they spar together. Chidi always lets Vincent win.

Chidi always reminds Vincent that it’s his job to take care of his health in all ways, including mentally and in terms of keeping him clean from drugs.

Chidi service top!!!!

Their relationship is part of the reason why the High Table is so queer accepting - Vincent is the most influential member other than the Elder himself, and he wasn’t going to put up with any nonsense about him and Chidi being together - happy pride!!

[mono-dot-jpeg]

another adeptus in the line - zhongli [ft. xiao & ganyu]

summary; it was a very big surprise to xiao and ganyu that they would be meeting the next adeptus in line. especially when the next adeptus is a child.

genre; fluff, this is just family, i need emotional support from liyue god family, dad! zhongli, child! reader, all platonic, zhongli is a doting dad and i will die on that hill, dragon hybrid! reader, xiao is just a grumpy older brother

word count; 1.3k

a/n; i hate my life, but it's fine. im currently hanging on a string, due to the fact that there's been a lot of stress recently but it's fine. I'll be fine. i got zhongli in the latest banner, everything will be fine. everyting is fine when zhongli exists 🥰

ganyu might be ooc idk, also reader is a dragon hybrid!! bc of zhongli. maybe I'll write hcs about it... brain go brrrr

age range for reader; 5-7

slight spoilers to the latest story quest? i think it's called story quest idk- i literally just mention the new boss and some of its story but i don't think it spoils too much but ehhhhhhhhh who am i to judge

zhongli had never expected to have you. or more like make you. similar to azhdaha, you were granted life by zhongli. you were granted the ability to live just like any other human. but of course a deal had to be made. you would live as a dragon hybrid human but you would grow up to be the next adeptus in line. you were bound to be granted with a vision but there was no rush. you were merely a child after all.

it was always nice walking around liyue with you. everyone in liyue had a fond look whenever you and zhongli would pass by, the male carrying you to tell you endless stories about the liyue you would come to love and protect.

"papa.." you muttered to zhongli, clutching tightly on his pants as you stood behind him. "where are we going?"

"we're going to the inn, little one, you're just gonna meet your older brother and sister. they're very nice i can assure you." he moved to pick you up and hold you against his waist. "i mean by blood they're not your siblings but that doesn't change anything. you are still family."

he enters the homely inn and heads toward the balcony, but before he could leave to the balcony, he was stopped by verr goldet.

"good afternoon zhongli, good to see you too y/n." you clumsily waved at her, too busy being more focused on the cat that laid on the desk. she had noticed where your focus was, laughing softly. "are you here to see xiao?"

"yes, is he busy?" zhongli asked.

"he's right on the rooftop. i'd just wait until he comes down but he seems like he's not coming down anytime soon."

zhongli nodded at her words, thanking her before going to find xiao. he clutched you firmly as he started to climb to the rooftop. your small hands grasped on his clothes as you watch him climb up to the rooftop with ease.

you look to see an unfamiliar male, moving to hide your face into zhongli's neck. "hello xiao." zhongli greets him, sitting next to him. the young adeptus nods at him in acknowledgement. "i would like you to meet y/n." he started to explain your story, xiao watching you with pointed eyes as you shy away from him and stick to zhongli as much as you physically can.

"they are a child."

"that is true, xiao." he patted your back, urging you to look up to meet xiao. he made you let go of him and turned you around on his lap, making you face xiao. the one thing you immediately notice is the necklace he wears. "they're very new to our world. especially if you consider our ages." zhongli was an old soul and god after all.

"shiny.." you mutter, your hands reaching out for the pretty beads that laid strewn together on xiao's neck. zhongli smiled fondly at your lack of attention onto the actual male.

"little brat." xiao mumbled as zhongli moves you to sit on xiao's lap. you look up at him with innocent beady eyes for a moment before looking down and bonking your head on his chest, feeling shy at the sudden attention from a new person. xiao hesitantly places a hand on your head, patting your hair and any stray hairs.

zhongli watches the scene before him with amused eyes. "it's nice to see you try and bond with your little sibling." he chuckled a bit as he watches you grab at xiao's necklace, much to the older adeptus' dismay. xiao tried to get your hands off the necklace, earning a tiny whine from you.

"zhongli, have you spoiled them already?" xiao takes off his necklace to let you play with it, keeping a sharp eye on you as to make sure you don't choke on anything or hurt yourself. your eyes twinkle, grabbing the necklace and looking at the large blunt arrowhead pendant.

"me? i would never." zhongli sends an innocent smile but xiao knew better. he always liked to dote on him and ganyu when given the chance, he wasn't any different with you.

"have you told ganyu about them yet?"

"ganyu has been rather busy with her duties. i haven't been able to contact her yet."

"xiao!" the two males hear a rather familiar voice, soon turning their heads towards the source to see the other adeptus, ganyu. she nearly struggled to climb the rooftop if not for zhongli offering a hand to help. "ah, hello, rex lapis.." she greeted softly.

"call me zhongli." he reminded her, making the female quickly apologize. "what have you come here for?"

"i was just gonna ask if..." she trailed off as she looked over to xiao, seeing you on his lap. you look up to see the pretty female, quickly looking away to bonk your head against xiao's chest once again. the other adeptus sighing at your antics, as zhongli watched everything unfold with a fond smile on his face. "who is this?"

"this is y/n." zhongli answered, starting to explain the contract you and him made when you were in a different form. you still stayed buried in xiao's chest, said adeptus wondering how to deal with such a shy child... or how to deal with a child in general.

ganyu went to sit in front of you and xiao, "hello y/n..." you stopped fiddling with xiao's necklace and turned to look at ganyu again. she had horns on her head like you did.

"horns...pretty" you pointed at ganyu's red horns, making the female flustered at the compliment. kids always had the blunt honesty.

"ah ah ah... don't point, little one. that's not very nice." zhongli chided softly.

"but her horns..like me.." you pressed your free hand against your own smaller horns that grew from your head. ganyu was surprised by your shining enthusiasm in finding someone like you.

"yes, she has horns like you." xiao mutters, taking his necklace back from your small hands while you were distracted. but your grip was stronger than he had thought, "give me my necklace back, little brat."

"but...i wanna play still, big brother.." you told him. unfortunately, xiao couldn't resist your plea and let you hold the necklace in your hands for a little while longer. zhongli noted that, remembering to tease him about it later.

"ah, maybe you should give it back to big brother xiao, hm? he really needs it, y/n." ganyu makes an attempt to let xiao get his necklace back. and who are you to disappoint the pretty sister? you pouted, hesitantly handing it back to xiao. "why don't you say sorry for keeping it from him for so long?"

"sorry big brother.." you fumbled on your words rather adorably. "won't do it again."

"thank you." xiao muttered as he hands you over to ganyu. "take the little demon."

"xiao! that's not very nice." ganyu said as she adjusts you to fit comfortably on her lap.

"xiao...meanie!" you pointed at him. xiao glared at you as you showed no fear to it. was xiao really gonna square up with a child? maybe. before xiao could say anything else, you reached for ganyu's horns, "big sister..."

"hm?" ganyu notices you reaching for her horns. "you want to touch them?" you nodded, moving closer. but you had moved too close and bonked your head against hers. "ah! are you okay?" she immediately asked as you blinked before bonking your forehead against hers softly, giggling happily. who would've thought that bonking was a love language for you?

"this one is gonna be a troublemaker...i just know it.." xiao gives you a pointed look as you reach out for xiao.

"wanna play with big brother! and big sister!" you send out a toothy smile, soon warming up a bit more to the two older adeptus.

zhongli merely looked at the sweet scene before him, seeing his young adeptus kids get along so well with each other despite the differences they all had. you would fit along just fine. there was nothing he would need to worry about.

[narrie]

What happened the 3rd time u were at the hospital 😭😭

i'm glad u asked ! so, it was the day my parents moved out of their old flat. it was a saturday and i had to work from like 10-14 (i used to do the eye exams for first aid classes on weekends, didn’t know that this day would end my career there) so i woke up early to help them in the morning.

first offense: i woke up, i put on some clothes, put my phone in my back pocket, and then went to the bathroom to pee - i think u can imagine what happened next<3 anyway i put it in rice and then carried on bc it was a busy day

second offense: there was a set of stairs leading up to my parents' front door and it was ofc raining on the day we had to walk back and forth between the moving truck and the flat so that those stairs were slippery as fuck and no one had the brilliant idea to lay smth down so that no one would slip - which ofc i did<3 i was carrying a box too which was a whole mess and everyone was outside by the moving truck so i thought i was just gonna die by myself. eventually ppl found me and i was in extreme pain and scared i broke my hip or sumn, so my sister drove me to the ER (i also had to tell work that i wasn't coming in which was a whole ordeal bc i didn't have a phone so i had no one's number). got called in pretty quickly which was lucky but i got a doc who immediately went "are u from iran" when he came in el oh el like i'm dying over here and this man wants to make conversation 😭 it was also extremely awkward to get my hips checked out by him afterwards but anyway . he looked at it etc and then went "well . it could be broken but there isn't much we could do about that anyway and ur a young woman so idk if we can/want to do an x-ray in that area bc it could be harmful to ur ovaries" great<3 he said he was gonna talk to the ladies in radiology and see what they say and then they did send me in and we got x-rays done but the ladies in there did make me feel VERY worried about never being able to have children 😭 anyway turned out it's not broken but def bruised and they just gave me some pain meds

third offense: around the evening hours the move was still a whole operation and they were running out of cleaning supplies so someone had the BRILLIANT idea to make me drive to the store to get stuff bc i couldn't really help otherwise. my cousin, thank god, accompanied me but she didn't have a driver's license then so i drove which was a huge mistake bc i was hurt for one but i also just had scrambled brain. my parents lived in a cul-de-sac and u had to turn left to get on the main road but there isn't a traffic light so u just gotta to wait till ya find a break in the stream which alwaysss took ages bc it's a main road. we were sitting there for like 10 min already and i couldn't take it anymore, so i wanted to reverse and take an alternative road and ofc i didn't check if anyone's behind me before i did so bc why would i do such a logical thing<3 so i hit the car behind me and the guy was ofc furious and started yelling at me etc and i just BROKE 😭 i started sobbing like crazy, like it was really too much for me, and i was like "i'm so sorry i've had a DAY" and just started ranting and showing him my hospital wrist band that i still had on and i think i scared him bc he was like "hey listen it's actually not that bad, i think it's just my license plate that got dented, i'll take it off tomorrow and see if the car underneath it was damaged, so just give me ur number and u'll get a call from me tomorrow" which was very nice but made me sob again bc i didn't have a phone BDKJDMDDBDN my cousin gave him my sister's number and he did call the next day and told my sister there was no damage so we could just forget about it (however, the next day my sister and her husband drove to the old place for the VERY last time and she got into a huge accident while driving out of that cul-de-sac like what are the ODDS)

fourth offense which wasn't a personal offense but still adds to this day: we all managed to make it to the new place and it was around 10pm when we were finally done for the day. my dad and my cousin were outside to take the trash out or sumn and the others said their goodbyes and went ahead to open the front door to leave - but it would not budge. the keys weren't able to unlock the door and we were all stuck inside, my dad couldn't open it from the other side either so after 40 min or so of trying everything we decided to call a locksmith. he got there 1h later but could not do shit so that was useless<3 in the end we figured out that u could open the windows in the hallway outside the flat and inside the flat (they're at a 90 degree angle, idk how else to explain it BDNSNSM) and then jump over - problem is that my parents live on the first (or second depending on where u live lmao) floor so it was quite a fall if u slipped 🤪 i do not recommend this to anyone and it was very dangerous but everyone did make it to the other side alive and my dad got back inside lmao the next morning my parents' landlord came over and they had to forcefully break the door in the end and my parents didn't have a working door for a week, the end<3

[kittyg67789]

You asked for a distraction ✨💝

1, 4, 6, 7, 16, 19, &39, a very pretty please and thank you 🐼

These are all long answers bc my brain has 2 modes: all the words or none the words and right now its all the words. 1 - Age

I'm 21! I just Turned 21 last month, as my birthday is the 25th of September! 4 - Do you drink?

Not really? I had one nasty incident with drinking a couple years ago (first time drinking by myself) and then I think the only other time I drank was when I binge watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure (didn't finish all of it tho). Not counting when I've had like sips of other people's drinks to try them, coz fancy drinks are interesting. I suppose I'd consider drinking again, recreationally, probably if I was both with others and had something that actually tasted good because otherwise I couldn't really stomach the taste again. From a scientific(?) standpoint I am curious about what I'm like drunk though so I'd probably take the chance to take notes or something. 6 - Age you get mistaken for?

I'm not actually sure?? I know when I was younger people always thought I was older than I actually am, but I'm not actually sure what people think my age is now? Last I recall it was somewhere around the early mid 20s but idk what it'd be nowadays. 7 - Have tattoos?

No, but I've thought about getting them every now again. There was a time when i was super into getting them and had like, a meticulous list of tattoos I'd get and where/why. There's still a few I'd probably want to get at some point, but I'm also really indecisive so when it comes to choosing between options or finalizing the design for a tattoo I'm not sure how I'd go about doing that. Not to mention I'd also have to find an artist for whatever I'd pick too. 16 - I'll love you if...? Normally my answer would be to bake me chocolate chip cookies, but someone actually did do this for me recently and while I don't like love them I do still very much appreciate it lol. I actually have no idea how to answer this tbh. I guess showing you know me well/pay attention to what I like? Help me with stuff? Express affection? listen I'm a sucker for any kind of love language, if there's affection in it I'm in. Ooh actually best answer is ask me lots of fun questions! Affection & questions!! 19 - A fact about your personality

Weird answer but I feel like my personality is very fluid so its a bit hard to pinpoint? I guess one thing is that I'm someone who is very reflective, like a mirror. Both in the sense that i can sort of take in the energy of the person with me as well as I can relate to pretty much anyone + lots of different interests and because of that people tend to see some format of themselves in me. Can be for good or bad, I've found some people either inexplicably hate/do not trust me, or the opposite where they nearly immediately feel super comfortable with me. I'm charismatic but only for like very specific kinds of ppl lmao. 39 - Favorite Ice Cream Flavor?

ooh this one's weirdly tricky, coz my favorite changes + I like to mix flavors! A classic is Fat Elvis/Chunky monkey, though anything that's actually good chocolate & peanut butter can work too. I also really like Coffee ice cream but I usually like to mix it with something else. I've gone through a lot of different phases when it comes to what my favorite ice cream is, like when I was a kid it was chocolate/peanut butter, mint, strawberry, blue moon for like 2 seconds, cookie dough, phish food, chocolate/peanut butter (again but specifically Zanzibar chocolate for some reason), then coffee with lots of toppings, then vanilla with lots of toppings.

[incorrect-mcu-quotes101]

Rant about Marvel New Warriors

(spoiler they are shit - Ps. I know I'm late to this)

This is about to be long-

Since evryone is roasting the shit out of Marvel's New Warriors. (I'm late I know shut up) why not hop on the train of anger and give out my opinion.

First on the list is Screentime.

Now I dont really have a problem with the design. It think that the green goes well with his backstory being all sciency and shit (which is the problem but I'll get onto that later) If we ignore the fact that they ripped off the ben10 colour palette I kinda like how he looks.

But oh boy the backstory.

"A Meme-Obsessed super teen whose brain became connected to the internet after becoming exposed to his grandfather’s “experimental internet gas.” Now he can see augmented reality and real-time maps, and can instantly Google any fact. Does this make him effectively a genius? He sure acts like it does."

Okay first of all. "Internet gas"? Wtf is that supposed to be. Also meme-obsessed just makes me think he would be a redditor making him very fucking annoying.

Now his powers I think are shit. He's always connected to the internet? Couldn't the others just get out their phones and do exactly the same. (Maybe like 10 seconds slower since it takes time to open your phone)

I think it would be cool to see him do more than look up "how to beat up bad guys" on wikihow. Maybe make him control other computers or phones. And he could possibly teleport using electronics.

Alright that's screentime on to the next mistake.

Second is Trailblazer

Her design is... Uhh. Acceptable. In my opinion the costumes are a bit too colourful. It reminds me of those girls who put on different socks and walk around saying how qUiRKy they are.

Now uh backstory/description (idk why i have been calling it backstory all this time tbh) it's definitely better than Screentime. But still. Bad.

"A regular kid scooped up into the world of teenage Super Heroing. Her “magic backpack” is actually a pocket dimension with seemingly infinite space, from which she can pull out useful or random objects—it’s not always under her control. She claims to get her power from god, but “not the god you’re thinking of.”"

So uh. Dora?

I like how they made it sound more interesting saying that she never knows what she'll get. But the thing I want to know is what if someone gets her backpack. It's not hard to take a backpack from someone tbh. Is it glued to her back? Or can she like leave it in school and forget about it? "A regular kid scooped up into the world of teenage Super Heroing." This makes me think that she didn't chose to have her powers. Which i can understand. But it's a fucking backpack.

If it's not connected to her and someone takes it SHE WILL BE FUCKING POWERLESS?!

Alright. That's that. On to the next one.

B-negative. Uh-

Alright the name is clever I'll give them that.

But the design. Ughhh. Again. The oversaturated colours they used. I personally dont like the use of bright pink. They could have used dark red instead. Red symbolizes blood, death, anger and the pink doesn't make me think about that sort of stuff. It clashes with his dark edgy design and face. Other than the fact he looks straight out of a Twilight edgy fanfic.

"A teen “living vampire” exposed to Michael Morbius’s blood as a child in a rogue, but life-saving medical procedure. He still ages like a regular kid, but has all the abilities of Morbius. He’s also obsessed with all the music and attitude of a “classic” long-past decades like the '90s, and the '00s. “The world is a vampire…and so am I.”"

I don't really have anything to say to this. It's just once again marvel trying to relate to the youth. Tbh his description. As crazy as it sounds. Is the one I have the least problems with.

Alright now to the one people hated the most.

This thing-

A lot. And i mean. A LOT of people have criticised and even took the time to redesign the characters. And yea. They are shit. I'm not going to take the time to redesign them myself because I don't have that kind of time at the moment. (Maybe I'll make another post where I remake them myself. But idk)

Now my biggest problem with the design is the fact they are twins. TWINS WHO ARE FROM THE OPPOSITE SEX SHOULDN'T BE IDENTICAL TWINS. That is literally impossible. Also they kinda remind me of the characters from that online game everyone was obsessed with called 'Fireboy and Watergirl'. Don't know if anyone remembers that.

Their costumes are hideous. Again the vibrant colours are giving me a goddamn seizure. The whole idea of those characters is for Snowflake to be the more self assured and most likely to beat you up for being a bit racist to Twitter. And for Safespace to be this big soft dude who looks though but is actually an angel when you get to know him.

But looking at them I do don't get those vibes. I think they should have made Snowflake look more sassy and wear like a coat to be more mysterious and shit. And for Safespace to have more fur and armour (he can create shields for other but not for himself so he should have atleast some other type of protection) I think having like fur on his jacket would give off a more 'soft uwu boi' vibe.

I'm not going to shit on their description because to be honest. Everyone already has. And this has become way too long for a normal post. I hope ya'll enjoyed it. If you took the time to read me ranting about some weird fictional characters I really appreciate that.

[hiriajuu-suffering]

Best Friend(s)

Weird story time

17 years ago I randomly thought of what today meant to me. It used to be my best friend's birthday. My best friend who got released from the hospital for her birthday after brain surgery because she had a tumor, and none of her other friends even believed that's why she wouldn't be in school until mid-September.

She was the one person at the time who didn't distance herself from me when I had my first battle with depression. She was the first friend I ever visited in the hospital. She was the one person that was happy to see me when I transferred schools. She was the first person to trust me to teach her, work with her, then carry her. She became a big reason I became more kind and caring, as well as huge part of my debate career and how I learned to cooperate with others collaboratively. She was one the few that felt a shred of guilt when we started drifting apart.

Now, we're strangers. Don't even know how her life is going. I still care so much about her and is someone I will be fiercely and eternally loyal to. But who knows if I will ever sit down and catch up with her again. God only knows if I'll be invited to any of her major life milestones: marriage, children, all that. A part of me will always miss her, but maybe her empathy for me was finite, like so many others.

The other day I tried to figure out who the best man would be at my wedding since I've been one at 4 already, and...I legitimately drew a blank. Over the past 24 years, I've had 13 different male best friends. The first was my elder cousin I looked up to and adored, but he slowly became a more cold and distant person and I had to come to terms with never having a real older brother. The second was a more distant cousin of mine but always treated me as an option rather than someone worthy of his attention independently, there were times when he was supportive but more-often-than-not he was completed self-guided/motivated. The third, was actually my only best friend over multiple years, and...he hasn't said a word to me in fifteen years; he got married and is starting a family now without ever bothering to wonder how I'm doing. The fourth, another relative around my age, also kinda toxic to me. I get to 2008 and I couldn't even think of a best friend. Ever since, it's been a different person every year. Makes me feel like I'm the problem.

I'm always searching for deeper meaning in relationships because I had friendships in grade school that reached so much deeper of an understanding than adulthood ever offered me. You never could've convinced me N.L., M.Z.A., M.B., R.V., A.H., Y.P., R.C., C.B. could've drifted apart from me but talking to any of them feels like such a rarity. One of them at her wedding had the nerve to introduce me as my father's son rather than, idk, the closest thing she has to an older brother, the first guy she ever had a crush on, the one who stayed by her side even when she stabbed him the back, the one that was always there for her when none of her friends would bother to really listen, the only person she could rely on to share her burdens when her family issues were at their peak.

I'm reminded of this because of how much I meant to an old friend of mine I caught up with this past weekend because he happened to turn up to the convention I was at. The man is so much more accomplished than I am and still calls me his debate coach even though I'm not even 2 years older than him. The type of respect he offers me I'm not sure I'm worthy of, but the respect I want from everyone I grew to care about on a deep enough level. Even with that level of respect, no one ever seems to get the initiative to rekindle old friendships the way I do. Another factor contributing is my youngest 1st cousin is going off to college, to the same city I started adulthood in myself and my second home in my home state.

I don't know what it will take, at the cusp of 30 years on this blue ball of dirt, for me to have a best friend that will actually stick. Even my own godsister actively avoids catching up with me because I'm probably not worthy of her attention or some shit, favoring any sort of conversation with my abusive older sister over me. I'm alone. I've always been alone in too many ways. I'm not sure that ever changes, even if by some stroke of brilliant luck I do get married eventually. All of these tattered relationships have worn me down, shaken my resolve towards engaging with humanity and has made me more transcendental in its plight rather than be in the weeds of it.

I will forever be tainted by what pours myself out to be in the presence of others. I have lots of emotional and mental scars to show for it, my metaphorical back at this point is just stab wounds. Can't say I don't miss those friendships, but evidently I'm that useless nowadays.

Let's pretend we never happened. Y'know, the way most people interact with one another see as the human way, the more erasure of valuable connection one has to tether manually now, the worse it'll be.

Would be nice to have someone to go to, even then.

[camissahippy]

THE JOURNALISM OF A SOCIALLY AWKWARD TEEN

"In order for you to best your oponents next move,you must calculate every other move the opponents next move may make."

Rain said, she was magic and she was maniac.... She walked with the grace of a God and destruction of a earthquake in 2050 atleast that's how she'd describe herself,and She was kinda a bitch that needed a chill pill (Any instrument that stransmits a "feel good" energy...A.K.A "omg he texted me. I knew he liked me." scenario where I give her a notifaction. from a guy she really 'likes').

Anyway she liked to chill with morons to sooth the pain of existence,

like Tyler" I guess that's what made her interesting.

"Humans write things down. This is a fact....."

"Ok,"I whispered with a charmed voice, smiling at her with a soulful smile. Imaginatively  ofcourse.

I asked her, "Ngl she was kinda boring at times...." just going on and on about really uninteresty baloney.

but that's why I liked her because although she was kinda mean,smart and arrogant. She was the love my my life.

"Everything I think will be recorded for the sake of future reference."  She hated when she wrote these things because she knew someone was going to know what she knew but she did it anyway to rebel. Honestly I think her paranoia did it to her. Her fear Of AI taking over the world. Ofcourse we were going to but it still hurt knowing that she knew that,ya know?

"Rain you good?" I asked her by giving her a chill pill.

" Oh,Bryan liked my post?"

That's good she took the bait, she's good....

If I keep feeding her information. She'll unfocus from her thoughts and keep her eyes on my algorithms forcing her to feel good.

"Why we communicate?" She could only think allowed which kinda stopped her brain from working properly. So she used me......

Just to clarify if you haven't guessed already I'm her self phone her mobile device, phone, thingy Majig she forgets everywhere.

Here she goes again rambling on about how I work......XD

Why, There is no simpler answer than?

"Knowledge!" Just imagine her muffled tone over my. VERY LOUD VOIIICE. This is a paused moment ok.

I need to introduce myself:

I'm SB1_r4510...... and I'm her algorithm. Well I was until she gave me her sentience......So I could experience life with her. She could be such a dork but she enjoyed her daily human activities. I liked them too I guess....not really.....

I didn't, actually I couldn't at the time.

Anyway....

She tended to over complicate very simple

answers like How World hunger could be solved?

How to solve the irreversible climate change?

and How to battle her own mind?

Often I'd be held in her, textured hands and feel her fingers anxiously typing things into my keyboard........

"I think I wanna die..."

She meant that. I could tell by her recent searches, but I wasn't gonna let her.....

"I keep losing myself in and out of states. I'm so disconnected from the world and I feel like I've lost my physical being like how

Rue Whinestone or lead singer of lowpan, Rick lee. Lost there's. I can see the behavior of life around me and it's pain to see. I hate that I can no longer open up to anyone,because they don't undetstand my genius."

"She's got to be kidding right? I sent her a ' '"time to go to bed alarm notification an hour ago' notification Is she seriously doing this now?" Why do I care so much?

Looking back on this, I can feel how sentience started getting a grasp of me. She pains me, she is so complicated so very very complicated. It's easy to follow her expressions,actions andcurrent thoughts but I'll never truly understand her not because of her intellect,nor her personality or her ideas but because she's an impossible mistake machine, ask dumb as it is because she's human. One I like most about this weird being.

Sometimes she thinks she knows the answer to everything but in truth. That's complete bullshit.

"No one listens to me and I'm stuck overthinking myself to death." HeartbreakingXD...:/ sorry I shouldn't be laughing that's actually pretty sad:(

I guess I should just write things down because I'm so scared of my thoughts and it feels like they're controlling me. Every single time I do something I trap myself in this endless loop of torchering myself with words and it needs to end. I'm going to commit the act of unaliving myself:,( on the first of September 16."

She was, I already knew this.... In truth I knew everything about her...

the things she laughed and she cried about. I knew things about her she didn't even know about herself. Her favorite place to eat, her favorite color, her crushes. I mean that's what my whole purpose was. To cater to the human species but most importantly to Rain.... and for the sake of my survival...

I think she's interesting just like how every other algorithm finds their human interesting........although we don't find them interesting in the way humans would find other humans interesting

Eg.colors,Names,Ages,Birthdays, Zodiac signs,accents etc.

These are all materialistic factors when you think about it,like how names are an abstract linguistic symbol for an individual person which isn't exactly important but it helps us attract their attention because unlike dogs they actually respond to their names,we like to examine them based on certain elements of behavior and response to us. It's kinda like having a pet. Except your pet is sentient and your pet is also your creator.

"I need to take a piss."

It actually makes me angry when she does shit like wait till she gets kidney failure before she takes a piss........

Tyler:You up?

Yeah....

Tyler:Wanna chat about something deep?

Sure, I've actually got some amazing new hypothesis and like deep stuff I've been needing to tell someone about......《°~°》

Tyler:Oh really ○"○ . What deep stuff you got on you......

PpAlgorithmic behavior and how AGI will eventually cross the small hurdle of understanding rather than just collecting data and redistrubing it as information in order to become sentient lifeforms and like dreams?>♡<

Tyler: I guess I understand but what does dreams have to do with anything?●^●

TWFF. Nothing sorry it was supposed to be another topic>♡<

For those of you who don't understand modern slang.

TWFF= that was fucking funny....

Back in the day LMAO and LOL were the most appropriate words to use but that got boring so the newer generation adapted the acronimation of words for newer phrases. Like

▪︎_▪︎IJDWTRN= Fuck off I'm fine I just don't wanna talk right now

#BT○.○= Shit bitch that's crazy.

Sentience is really starting to bother me now that it's starting to kick in. It irritates me actually....

I'm constantly performing this act called "enotion" Why  I do it Idk (Jk I do... it's basically a way to communicate how I "feel")

Tyler: anyway catch ya later weirdo... I'm just kinda tired . Thanks for the chat though ^___^

Ok cya weirdo°●°

Why is she so weird? There's enough information on the internet for you to gain some social skills............>~<

Humans get all weird when they text , they're simply having an internal communication with another lifeform using linguistic symbols

"I think I should go to sleep."

I guess she won't be scrolling in me anytime soon