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#if I don’t fall in love I will go insane
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MAKE HER REGRET IT
A/N: i was really in the mood for some smut and the neighbors trope popped into my head, so here we are!
WORD COUNT: 4.1k
WARNING: sexual content
SUMMARY: Harry, your freshly divorced, insanely hot neighbor needs your help: you have to pretend to be his new girlfriend when his ex-wife comes over, however your little stunt outdoes your expectations in a lot of ways.
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It's a basic instinct for you at this point to look up at the balcony whenever you’re approaching your apartment building. However you’re not looking at yours, but the one next to yours that belongs to one hot, freshly divorced guy who moved in next door about two months ago. 
You remember the morning the moving truck appeared and you knew someone was taking the vacant apartment beside yours. You just arrived back from your morning run and you jumped right into guesses about who it will be. Maybe someone your age? A girl you can go to yoga with? Or a sweet old lady you can have tea with on warm afternoons? Hopefully not a noisy family, because the walls are way too thin to endure the screaming of a child. 
Then you saw him. Carrying a heavy looking box up the stairs, a simple white shirt stretching on his torso, tattooed arms flexing under the weight of the box, you knew you were fucked the first time you saw Harry Styles. 
It took you no time to lurk over the next day and introduce yourself as his neighbor. 
“If you need suggestions for coffee spots around the neighborhood, I’m your person,” you smiled at him charmingly as he stood in his doorway in gray sweats and a black t-shirt, hair messy but so delicious, it was screaming for your fingers to run through his locks. 
“I will definitely keep that in mind. I can offer to fix anything around your apartment, I’m kind of a handyman,” he chuckled and your knees almost buckled hearing his creamy british accent. 
Fate played on your hand, because you kept running into each other so it didn’t take long for you to go out for a coffee run together and it was smooth sailing from then. You learned about how he just got divorced, his wife cheated on him and he found out on their second anniversary, tragic story and you still can’t quite understand how any woman could cheat on a man like him. You practically drool every time you catch a glimpse of him arriving back from a run in nothing but a pair of shorts, his tanned skin glistening from sweat. You definitely love to move out to the balcony around the time he can be expected to appear in the late afternoon, you watch him stretch and breathe heavily and the sight alone makes you break a sweat as well, but for a whole different reason. 
You’ve been trying to flirt with him every possible occasion, but you also make sure you don’t come off too pushy. After all he just got out of a marriage, it must be hard on him to recover from being cheated on. There’s also a slight age difference between the two of you, not that dramatic, but that eight years could easily be a deal breaker for him, so you’ve been playing it safe. 
When you’re lying in bed late at night and sleep is not coming to you, you can’t help but think of how he is on the other side of the wall, you imagine him sleeping without a shirt, maybe thinking about you the way you like to think of him… But it’s all just a fantasy, one you fancy very much. 
The door to his balcony is open so you know he is home, but he is not out. You take your time walking up the stairs, your legs are definitely tired from the run you just had and just when you reach your floor Harry’s front door swings open and you stop, watching him walk over to your door. He didn’t notice you, so you stay still and watch him take a deep breath as he lifts his fist up to knock, but then it falls back to his side and he shakes his head, stepping backwards before returning to his spot on your doormat and that’s when you decide to put him out of his misery. 
“Are you out of sugar, neighbor?” you ask, slowly walking towards him. Harry spins around with a stunned expression. 
“Oh, I didn’t–I didn’t see you.” You catch his gaze running down your body and legs and you’re thankful you decided to wear your shortest shorts. 
Playing with your keys in your hands, you finally reach him. 
“What’s up?”
“Um… I have a bit of a situation on my hands and you might be able to help me.”
Unlocking the door you push it in and gesture for him to follow you inside. 
“Do tell me.”
Rounding your way into the kitchen you step to the fridge to grab some water. Harry hesitantly follows you and stops by the kitchen counter. 
“So, I talked to Rory this morning,” he starts. You’ve heard enough about Rory, his ex wife to know that if she’s involved, it’s for sure something messy. “You know that painting in my living room?” You nod. “Well, she insists it’s hers, because a friend of hers painted it, but I was the one who paid for it. Whatever. She’s been trying to get me to give it to her and honestly I’m over it so I gave in. She is picking it up today.”
“When will the part where I can help come?”
“Right here,” he chuckles nervously. “We got into a fight, no surprise. She screamed at me over the phone and told me I’ll die alone because no one can put up with my shit.”
You need to force yourself to swallow the bitterness in your mouth. That woman sounds very much like the spawn of the devil, because who would say that to anyone? Especially to Harry? Aside from being insanely hot you’ve also learned just how kind, passionate and funny he is, basically the whole deal. Rory is the biggest loser in history for letting go of a man like him. 
“One thing followed the other and I just… Um, I told her that I have someone.”
The light bulb switches on in your mind, because you already know where this is heading. And you like it, very much. 
“I don’t know what got into me, but I told her she can meet my alleged girlfriend when she picks up the painting so she can see herself that I’m not the loser she thinks I am. And… as you might now, I do not have anyone…”
“You want me to be your fake girlfriend,” you finish for him, saving him from having to say it out loud. You can see just how awkward he is, having to ask you for such a thing. 
“Basically, yeah. Only if you don’t mind being part of this shitshow. I understand if you find it weird and I don’t expect you to–”
“When should I be over at yours?” you simply ask and watch his eyes go wide. 
“Y-You will do it?”
“Sure, sounds fun. Besides, I’m curious to see the stupidest woman on earth,” you add smirking and he finally lets out a relieved laugh as well. 
“Thank you so much, Y/N. Really, I owe you big time. She’ll be here in about two hours.”
“Perfect. I’ll be there.”
For the next two hours, you do everything you can to bring out the hottest version of yourself. Hair, makeup, dress, everything is on spot when you step out of your apartment and walk over to Harry’s door, ringing the bell. 
When the door swings open and Harry sees you his mouth hangs open, giving you that one last ego boost you need to be the best possible fake girlfriend ever. 
“Satisfied with your girlfriend?” you ask, tilting your head. 
“I-I uh–Yeah! I’m… yes.”
“Can I go inside then?” you ask with a chuckle and he steps aside in a hurry.
“Sorry, yeah come inside.”
“So what’s the plan?” you ask, walking into his living room and making yourself comfortable on the couch. Harry follows, but he takes the armchair across you and you can tell he is still struggling with not ogling you, especially your exposed legs and deep cleavage the dress teases him with. 
“I don’t… I have no idea, I have never done this before.”
“I have.”
“Really?”
“Just once, in college. One of my friends broke up with a girl who did not take it well and I was his fake girlfriend for a week to get her to stop harassing him. It worked.”
“Then… I trust you with anything.”
“What’s the goal?”
Harry opens his mouth, but then closes, as if he is embarrassed to say what’s on his mind. 
“Harry, say it. I’m happy to help with anything.”
“I want to make her regret it.”
“Regret what she said?”
“Regret everything,” he corrects and when he looks you in the eye a shiver runs down your spine from the determination that’s behind his green irises. 
“Consider it done,” you smile at him devilishly. 
At your suggestion you both take a shot to ease your nerves and make it easier to lie. It seems to loosen him just enough that he doesn’t look like he is about to attend an interrogation. 
And then the bell rings. 
“Show time,” you smile at him and as he walks over to the door you take your place on the couch again. 
You hear the door open and then a female voice mixes with Harry’s before the footsteps follow. Harry comes into view first, but then Rory steps out from behind him and you see the pure shock in her eyes when she finally spots you. 
“Oh, hi!” you smile at her almost disgustingly sweetly as you stand from the couch and walk closer. “You must be Rony. I’m Y/N.” You hold out a hand for her and watch as her mouth twitches when she hears you mess her name up. 
“Rory,” she sassily says and shakes your hand at last. “So you’re the… girlfriend.” The disgust in her tone is apparent, she is not even trying to hide it and it just makes it way more enjoyable. 
“Yes and you must be the cheating ex-wife.”
Harry coughs beside you, he was not expecting you to be this blunt, but the look on Rory’s face is priceless, because she can’t deny what she is. Moving closer to Harry you wrap an arm around his waist and though at first he freezes at your closeness, he is quick to recover and join in on the act, his arm finding your waist as well. 
“The painting is over there, just take it and let’s get over with it, alright?” Harry nods towards the painting he already took off the wall, now it’s leant against the console table that’s been underneath it. 
“You didn’t even wrap it?” she scoffs. How am I supposed to take it like this?”
“Rory, I’m not a fucking gallery. You wanted the painting, take it.”
“It’s gonna be ruined if I just put it into my car like this!” she argues. 
“That’s none of my business.”
“Harry, this is so not okay! I can’t–”
“Jesus, Rory fine! I think I have some bubble wrap,” he grunts, heading into his bedroom to find something to wrap the painting in, leaving the two of you alone.
Rory gives you another long, dirty look, as if you were the woman Harry cheated on her with when she is the culprit of this mess here. 
“So how long have you been together?” she then asks, pretending like she is just chit chatting, but you know she is eager to know everything about you.
“A little over a month now. You know, I wasn’t looking for anything serious, but Harry is just the perfect guy and I couldn’t stay away from him.”
“Oh, he is not that perfect, little girl.”
It’s obvious she tried to derogate you by calling you a little girl, she must be around the age of Harry, not more than thirty-six for sure, but she can’t find anything to use against you other than the fact that you’re clearly in your twenties. How mature. 
“I know. But everything he can give me makes it worth it. And the sex, ah!”
She gives you a puzzled look. You knew this would stir her up, Harry mentioned how distant they grew in the last few months and sex wasn’t the same anymore. Looking at the timeline she must have started her affair around that time and Harry couldn’t perform the way he otherwise could because she wasn’t open to him anymore. It was a vicious cycle, but you also know Rory is the kind of woman who must have humiliated him because of that. Harry never said, but you just feel that she criticized his sexual performance when she left him even if it all happened because of her. 
And now hearing that he is giving his all to another woman is definitely something that can drive her nuts. 
“Oh please, he sucks in bed,” she scoffs.
“Not with the right partner. He is so good, I honestly don’t know how you could let go of him.”
“He couldn’t make me cum for months!”
“That’s unfortunate. I get an orgasm basically after every meal. He is so good at it, honestly, it’s like he just wants to please me every possible moment. I mean, I can’t remember a morning when I didn’t wake up with his head between my legs, he loves quickies, I have to sanitize the kitchen counter like twice a day.” You let out a chuckle and just watch as her face grows redder while staring at the kitchen counter, raging jealousy swirling in her mind for sure. It’s clearer than daylight that she didn’t cheat on him because he wasn’t manly enough, this woman is simply a stupid loser who couldn’t appreciate what she had, maybe panicked that she can’t mess around with others and then simply chose to ruin everything. 
You’re more than happy to remind her what she lost. 
“Alright, this is all I got,” Harry emerges from the bedroom with some bubble wrap he probably had left from moving, but when he sees you and Rory staring each other down, he stops. But before he could speak up, you decide to push that knife into Rory’s chest as your final move. 
Stepping over to Harry you push yourself up against him, he drops the bubble wrap and his hands grab you by the waist instantly, though you see confusion in his eyes before you take his face in your hands and pull him closer, lips pressing against his hungrily. 
It’s not a sweet, shy first kiss. This is the perfect show off, messy, passionate, full of tongue and eagerness as you practically devour each other. For a bit you forget about the show you’re putting up and it’s your real desire you’ve been fighting for weeks now. Every time you try to pull back Harry just keeps demanding more and you happily give him what he wants. He bites into your bottom lip when one of his hands moves down to your ass, giving it a not-at-all shy squeeze, making you moan into the kiss. 
It feels like it takes forever for you to stop, when you open your eyes you’re met with Harry’s hungry eyes, his lips are slightly swollen and shiny from your kisses. 
And then you remember you’re not alone. 
“Oh, fuck you. Fuck you both!” Rory pops the bubble around you and when you turn to look at her, she is already grabbing the painting, not even bothering to wrap it. 
“It was nice to meet you!” you call after her.
“Fuck you!” she repeats, marching towards the door and you’re just smirking like an idiot, pleased with yourself for pissing her off so badly. 
Harry follows her to shut the door behind her and you let yourself bathe in the sweet victory you just earned. 
“This went amazing, right? She was so mad, oh my God!” you laugh, but your smile quickly disappears when you realize the serious look on Harry’s face as he is walking back towards you. 
Shit, maybe the kiss was too much. He didn’t want it and now he is pissed at you.
“Are you mad about the kiss? I-I’m sorry if it was too–”
The words die down on your lips when they crash against his again, his hand cupping the back of your head while the other returns straight to your ass, groping you so hard your whole body smashes against his. 
Your mouth opens in surprise and it gives him the chance to push his tongue against yours, he is demanding, rough and so much more raw than what you imagined him to be like. 
“What did you tell her?” he asks against your mouth, moving you around until the small of your back hits the kitchen counter. “What did you tell her that made her so pissed?” he demands, his hand already eagerly moving underneath your dress. He presses two fingers against your clothed clit, making your eyes roll into the back of your head. 
“I said, ah–I said I wake up every day with… your head between my legs, and… Oh fuck!” You’re losing your ability to speak your thoughts as his fingers start circling, the fabric of your underwear is so drenched, if you could think straight you might be embarrassed just how aroused he made you so fast. 
“And?” he urges you to continue, but at the same time he pushes your underwear to the side and pushes two fingers into you without warning, making you gasp so loud that people on the street must have heard it through the open balcony door. 
“A-and that you fuck me on the… the kitchen counter all the time.”
He curls his fingers inside you as he keeps talking.
“Then that’s what I’ll do to you now. Are you okay with that?” he asks and you nod eagerly as you hold onto his broad shoulders. 
The next moment he pulls his hand back and you whine, feeling empty all of a sudden, but then he lifts you up and makes you sit on the counter, he lowers himself and places your legs over his shoulders with careful, but confident moves. You grab onto his hair as he pushes his head between your thighs and his mouth meets your clit. 
“Oh, fuck! Harry!” you gasp out, tugging on his hair as he swirls his tongue against your swollen clit, his fingers teasing your hole again. Then they push into you and he sucks on your clit, making you see stars. 
You imagined him to be skilled, but whatever it is he is doing to you, it feels out of this world and now you know you weren’t wrong when you praised him that much to Rory before. 
You’re totally out of breath when he comes up, he kisses you and you can taste yourself on his tongue, your hands impatiently tug on his shirt to get rid of it. Soon the fabric lands on the tiled floor and you map out every inch of his hard chest with your palm and while you keep kissing like there’s no tomorrow, you faintly hear the zipper of his pants come undone. 
You look him in the eyes when you reach down and take his hard length into your hands and you can’t hold back a gasp when you realize just how big he is. 
“I know you can take it, baby,” he coos, kissing the corner of your mouth and you’re ready to take him right then and there, but he moves back, making you reach for him in panic. “Condom,” he says and you lean back onto your elbows with a sigh as you watch him disappear in his bedroom. You have just a few seconds you process that here you are, on top of Harry’s kitchen counter, with your dress bunched up around your waist, your drenched pussy on show, waiting to be fucked properly. You definitely did not expect this outcome when you woke up this morning, but you’re not complaining. 
Then Harry appears and he is walking over to you, completely naked, his dick in his hands as he rolls the condom on while moving and you bite into your bottom lip, hoping to remember this view until the end of time. 
When he reaches you again he simply curls his arms around your thighs and tugs on you so you get closer to the edge. His erection wedges between your wet folds and the tip pokes against your clit, making you clench around nothing. 
“I have to admit, I’ve been fantasizing about fucking you on this counter since the day I moved in and saw you for the first time.”
“Just on the counter?” you ask teasingly. 
“Every surface of this fucking apartment,” he admits with no remorse.
“Make a list then and I’m more than happy to do them all. But let’s tick the counter off first.”
“Don’t have to ask me twice.”
He reaches down and circles his thumb against your clit a bit before grabbing his dick by the base and dragging it up and down your cunt a few times before pushing the head in first, letting you adjust to his thickness first. When you claw at his chest he takes it as a sign to go deeper and he keeps pushing until you take his whole length, feeling fuller than ever before. 
“I want to go hard,” he breathes out, staying still for now.
“Go hard then. I can take it,” you assure him, though you do have doubts feeling just how stretched out you are now. 
“Of course you can. You’re my good girl,” he praises you and before you could get a word out, he pulls back and slams into you hard. 
There are moments when you actually think you’re about to burst, Harry did not joke when he said he wants to go hard, his thrusts are fast and rough and he makes sure he buries his whole length into you every time he pushes into you. At one point he pulls your legs over his shoulders and it allows him to reach a point in you no one has before and it pushes you towards the edge rapidly. The counter is painfully hard underneath you, but you somehow forget about the pain and only focus on how hard Harry is railing into you. His stamina is incredible, your body already feels like goo and you’re not even doing the actual work. 
“Harry, I’m so close,” you moan and his fingers dig deeper into your thighs at your words. 
“Come around my cock, baby. I wanna feel you squeeze me.”
You cry out his name again, a tear rolling down your cheek, because you’re so desperate to let go. Harry moves a hand to where you meet and his thumb returns to your clit and that’s what throws you over the edge. 
Your back arches and you squeeze around him uncontrollably, gasping for air as he ruthlessly keeps fucking into you. 
“That’s it, baby. You look so fucking beautiful, coming on my cock.”
You can’t stop moaning as you ride out your orgasm. The last waves are washing over your body when his movements fall out of rhythm, he slams into you hard and he sucks on his breath before moaning out your name over and over again, pushing into you a few more times as he comes. He falls forward, his face burying into your heaving chest as he tries to catch his breath along with you. There’s a long minute of silent bliss, his cock is still inside you, his lips peppering soft kisses onto the skin that’s exposed on your chest while you’re mindlessly playing with his hair. 
When he straightens up he pulls out of you, the empty feeling hitting you again. He carefully helps you off the counter, but keeps his arms around you, because when your feet hit the floor you wobble. 
Nuzzling your nose against his chest you take the cross pendant on his necklace between your teeth and pull back, looking him in the eyes. 
“Don’t do that, or we’re moving to the next place on the list.”
Giggling you let go of it and push yourself up to steal a kiss. 
“Give me some time to recover, but I’m all in to check out another place.”
“Jesus, I knew you’d be the death of me the moment I saw you,” he breathes out, before his mouth claims yours hungrily. 
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!
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gojotojis · 2 days
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When the Party’s Over pt.3
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Part 1 Part 2
summary: you and sukuna are now dating, only you’re keeping it a secret but secrets eventually come out.
pairing: college! sukuna x college! fem reader
content MDNI: slight angst ?, bestfriends brother, frenemies, secret romance, soft sukuna, squirting,oral (m receiving) , unprotected sex, vaginal sex, riding, cum eating, fingering, fluff, aftercare, dacryphillia, oral choking, praise kink, overstimulation
This ended up being so fluffy, pls don’t beat me up. Soft sukuna just has me in a chokehold! Also this is my favorite smut I’ve written thus far!
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Choso insisted on you coming over for a John Wick marathon, of course Yuki was there, which you didn’t mind. Yuki’s actually really nice to you and her music taste is so similar to yours, you’re constantly making eachother playlists and sending eachother songs you think the other would like. You’ve never had a girl friend so it’s nice.
You sit on the couch next to Yuji whose eyes widen everytime John fires his gun, while Choso and Yuki sit cuddled up on the other side of the sofa.
You have to admit, Johns incredibly sexy. You’d happily sit through four movies soley about him but your eyes keep drifting towards the stairs.
All you want to do is crawl into Sukunas bed and sleep but you can’t. You’re scared for Choso to find out, scared that it’ll ruin your friendship. Sukuna doesn’t care, he doubts Choso will give a shit and maybe he’s right but you’re not ready.
You and Sukuna have only been dating for three months now and you love being in your own little bubble with him. You also love the thrill you get from sneaking around, the way he sneaks you into his house after hours just so you can fall asleep on him.
You’re not sure the separation anxiety you feel is healthy, he’s the only thing on your mind, the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last thing you think about when you go to sleep. He’s your first boyfriend, your first everything and you hope he’s your last.
It feels so good to be utterly obsessed with someone and them to reciprocate it. It’s also a rush knowing your boyfriend hates everyone but you, that he’s mean in public but when he’s alone with you, he’s on his knees telling you how much he loves you.
You feel like you’re going insane, you need to feel his skin against yours. You’re never not clinging to him like a monkey, making him carry you everywhere. You’re just so obsessed with him, it makes you want to rip your hair out, definitely not healthy but you don’t give a shit.
You anxiously start eating the popcorn Yujis holding, fighting the urge to run up stairs and tackle Sukuna. This is different, so different, whatever you felt for Choso doesn’t come even a fraction close to how you feel about Sukuna.
“I’m so tired,” you fake yawn, stretching your arms up and Yuji scoffs.
“It’s only been an hour,” he says and you yawn again for emphasis.
“I had such a long day, I’m sorry guys,” you say innocently and Choso shakes his head. “Just go to sleep in one of the guest rooms, I can take you home in the morning,” he says and you nod standing up.
Yuji looks at you suspiciously but all you do is offer an apologetic smile before you’re climbing up the stairs. Your fingers wrap the handle to Sukunas door and open it. He’s sitting at his desk, engrossed in a game of call of duty while he curses out someone on his headset.
You lock the door and peel your clothes off till you’re naked. You pull your hair from its ponytail and let it fall to your hips before you walk toward him. He looks to you and then back to the screen before looking at you again with wide eyes and you giggle.
“I gotta go,” he says over the headset.
“We’re about to fucking win!” you hear someone yell at him as you turn the chair to face you. You climb onto his lap and reach for his hand as his teammates scream at him through the headset.
He watches you take his hand and press his fingers against your pussy, covering them in your arousal before you lift them to your mouth and lick them. He throws his head back and closes his eyes.
“I really gotta fucking go,” he says before closing the game, and the shouting stops. He quickly removes his headset and sets downs his controller.
“Hi,” you smile innocently.
“Hi baby,” he breathes before his lips find yours. Your lips brush and tongues lap against eachother. His hands slide over the curve of your waists and up to your tits. His large hands splay across them and he squeezes them hard.
“Does my good girl need some attention?” He asks, his tongue licking the sides of your breasts and you nod.
“How bad?” He asks, rolling a nipple between his fingers as you grind down against his bulge.
“Really bad,” you say creating a bouncing rhythm. He can feel the wet patch you’re making on his crotch. Your fingers reach for the hem of his shirt and he lifts his arms up, letting you take it off.
You’ll never get tired of his body, the ridges, the muscles and the defined v at his hips. Your nails graze his abs before they start tracing over the tattoos on his arms. His body is hot to the touch, and he shivers under your cold fingers.
“You gonna ride me?” He asks. You’re a pillow princess, you love just laying down and taking it while he does most of the work but you’ve never done that before, yet it sounds dirty and you like it.
“Yes,” you say confidently. You’ve only ever done missionary, he knows it’s your favorite, it’s just so intimate, being able to see his expressions and watch where your bodies connect as he fucks into you.
He knows he’s gonna be helping you by the end of this but he pats your ass and you sit up, letting him slide his pants off and his cock springs free. Your mouth waters at the sight and you slide down to your knees.
Your hand wraps around it and he hisses. You watch the way his abs contract when you spit repeatedly on it till it’s nice and sloppy, just how he likes it. You press several kisses to the tip letting precum smear against you lips, teasing him before you lick up the sides.
He groans as you feel the veins against your tongue. He stands up so he can get a better look at you when he slowly inches his cock into your mouth. Your mouth widens as you breathe through your nose like he taught you, tears gather in your eyes, looking up at him until his dick is pressed against the back of your throat.
“Gonna fuck the shit out of this mouth,” he groans and your pussy throbs. His fingers thread through your hair and slowly pulls out of your mouth before plunging back in. His dick is so fucking warm in your mouth, he groans when you lick the underside. He starts thrusting into your mouth, not breaking eye contact as he watches you cry and it turns him on so fucking bad watching the tears flow down your cheeks.
You’re gagging on his dick, your hands gripping his thighs praying nobody can hear you choking.
“So good for me baby,” he grunts, forcing more down your throat and your eyes widen but you try to relax. He’s buried in your throat, your nose touching his pelvis. He thrusts in out, beating the back of your throat, saliva smearing all over your face and dripping onto your chest.
Your fingers find your pussy and you force your middle and index finger inside of you, desperate for a release as you bounce on your fingers. Your mouth cries against his cock, and it’s enough that he’s pulling out. He watches you fingering yourself and loses it, cum hits your face in thick ropes and then your chest, you fingers leave your cunt and you swipe the cum off your lips, sucking them off before you stand up and push Sukuna back down into the chair.
He watches you glide your fingers over your nipples, scooping up cum before you swallow it. You’re a fucking freak, not even close to what he dreamed of, but better.
You straddle him as he leans back, letting you take control. You grip his cock and line it up at your sopping hole. Your eyes close as you slowly sink down onto it, the stretch one of your favorite parts.
Little tremors hit you as your pussy swallows him until your ass is flush against his thighs. He’s so fucking deep, you think you might cum if you move. His full attention is on you, hands gripping the arms of the chair.
You pull up, feeling his cock slowly leave you before you bounce back down. You moan as quietly as you can as you bounce up and down his cock. This feels so good but it’s so much work, work you’re not use to and you look at him with those big doe eyes. He was waiting for this.
“Help me,” you whisper and his hands slide to your ass, lifting you up and slamming you down on him, hard.
Your teeth sink into his shoulder as he slams you up and down his cock over and over, sweat starts to coat your body and your tits bounce with each thrust. You hear gunshots downstairs from the tv, praying they don’t hear Sukuna drilling into you.
“The sweetest fucking pussy,” he grunts as you grind against him, you feel your stomach knot and your pussy clamps as he batters your cervix. You start to shake against him and liquid gushes from your cunt but he doesn’t stop, he never does.
He fucks into you like he wants to touch the tip of your skull, your head lulls to the side, tongue sticking out as you gasp for air feeling your boyfriend demolish your cunt until you’re squirting again and dripping down his thighs.
“Too much ngghh, too much Kuna,” you cry when his thumb rubs at your clit and your eyes roll back. His mouth finds yours and he swallows your screams as you cum together, feeling him flood you with his seed.
You slump against him as he carries you to his bathroom. He turns the shower on and steps inside with you still wrapped around him. You whine when he lifts you off of him and sets you on your feet, your knees are wobbly as he reaches for your pink loofah and lathers his body wash onto it.
He begins scrubbing your body while you turn your face so the water hits it, washing away his cum. You reach for your face wash you left and start massaging it into your face as he gets on his knees.
You shiver as he gently washes your sore and abused pussy. He press’s kisses against your belly as you grab his rag and pour body wash on it. He stands up and you start scrubbing him, at least the places you can reach till he has to take over.
Once you’re done and he’s dressed you in his clothes, you climb on top of him in bed, resting your head on his chest.
“My little spider monkey,” he calls you, the way you cling to him. You look up and smile before kissing his jaw as he scrolls through Netflix.
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You all but squeal at the smell of fried food, the flickering multicolored lights and the sound of screaming. You fucking love the fair.
Sukuna fucking hates it, he hates the screaming and the guaranteed vomiting. He still hasn’t forgiven you for throwing up on him in the Gravitron once the ride ended when you were twelve and him fourteen.
In your defense you housed about six funnel cakes, a super size coke slushee and eight fried Oreos that day before you got on the ride. You learned your lesson that day.
Even though he hates it, it’s the smile on your face that makes it worth it as you lace your fingers together and walk around.
You immediately guide him toward the flying swings, the tendant scans your wristbands and you take the seat infront of Sukuna as more people get on.
Sukuna waits for what he knows is coming, he listens to you burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. You laugh manically when you ride rollercoasters and etc, people look at you like you’re deranged while you laugh like the Joker.
It’s fucking hilarious as you look back at him. He can’t help but laugh at the way his girlfriend sounds like a fucking maniac. Even when the rides over you’re clutching your sides laughing. It’s the adrenaline no doubt.
You spend the night riding almost every ride, nearly breaking your neck on the bumper cars when some kid drove straight into you until you were slammed into the wall. Sukuna threatened to kick his “little ass” out the car and he broke down crying which ended in you both banned from the bumper cars.
“He was a pussy,” Sukuna huffs as you lick at your Icecream cone.
“Baby, he couldn’t have been older than eight,” you say and he shrugs leaning down to lick your Icecream. He watches you take a bite with your front teeth and stops walking.
“Only psychos eat Icecream like that,” he says making you laugh.
“Congrats, you’re dating a psycho,” you say taking another bite until your eyes land on something.
Sukuna clutches his ears as you threaten to burst his eardrum with your screaming.
“Fuck!” He says loudly with his finger in his ear. You ignore it as you finish your icecream and tug him toward the booth full of Sanrio plushies. “I want them all,” you say to the worker and she hands you a basketball.
You look down at it with a frown as she points to the hoops behind her. Sukuna hands her money as you toss the ball, watching it bounce off the rim.
You have two more shots and she hands you a ball, you throw it and miss. Sukuna can tell you’re getting frustrated with the way your hands form into fists.
He walks who behind you as you take the last basketball. He presses his hand flat against your stomach and the other one stretches out behind your hand that holds the basketball.
He pulls your joined hands back and lifts you up with one hand so you can throw it and it makes it through the hoop.
“I did it! I did it!” You jump up and down, technically you both did but he doesn’t care to correct you.
“That’s cheating,” the worker says arms crossed.
“Give her the fucking toy,” Sukuna says making the girl get up and walk to the wall of plushies.
“Which one baby?” He asks and you point to a giant My Melody one dressed up as a watermelon, she hands it to you. The things nearly the size of you as you hug it, you beam up at him as he holds your hand.
He brings your joined hands up to his lips and kisses the back of your hand as you walk around. There’s two rides you haven’t gone on yet, the Ferris wheel and the Gravitron.
Sukuna absolutely refuses when you walk him toward the Gravitron. You actually feel bad that you gave him childhood trauma because he plants his feet to the ground and doesn’t budge no matter how hard you pull.
“Please Kuna, we can stand on opposite ends of the ride. I promise I won’t throw up on you,” you beg but he doesn’t budge. You sigh and look down at the ground, like a kicked and dejected puppy.
“You’re fucking annoying” he sighs, pressing a kiss to your temple and grabbing your hand. You smile, leaving your plushie with the machine operator as you both step inside. You giggle as he leans against the wall two mats over.
Everyone gets in and the ride starts, you feel the pressure of the zero gravity at work as your body’s stuck against the wall. The machine ride spins, Sukunas watching you and the expression your face makes. You’re not laughing, not even close.
You feel sick, absolutely sick and dizzy. Your eyes squeeze shut until the ride ends and you’re running out. You lean over the railing, prepared to vomit as you take several deep breaths. Sukuna rubs your back and holds your hair but luckily nothing comes up.
“You’re never going on that ride again,” he says and you nod, you can’t help but laugh once the queasiness leaves you. “You should’ve seen your face, you thought I was going to throw up on you,” you say, pretending to puke on him and he glares, carrying your plushie.
“You’d be walking home if you did,” he says and you roll your eyes knowing damn well he would never let that happen.
You stop him and stand on your tippie toes, pulling him down for a kiss. You smile against his lips, you’ll never get tired of this.
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You rest against his chest as you both stare at the tv.
“So he calls her baby girl and she calls him chocolate thunder but they’re strictly platonic?” He asks and you nod laughing as you watch criminal minds.
“You’re into some freaky shit,” he says making you sit up so you’re straddling him. You push your ass against his dick and smile.
“Very,” you say before you lift your shirt up, revealing your bare chests. He sits up and starts kissing you, oblivious to the feet running up the stairs until his doors being slammed open. You scream and climb off of him, clutching your chest.
Your face reddens, the urge to cover it but your hands are hiding your tits. He moves to block your body and hands you back his shirt. Yuji and Choso’s faces are burned into your brain as you slip the shirt on. You don’t lean over Sukuna, terrified.
“What the fuck!” You hear Choso say and you slightly peak over Sukunas shoulder.
Choso storms out of the room and you jump out of the bed.
“Choso wait!” You say as he jogs down the stairs and out the front door.
You walk back to the room to see Yuji sitting next to Sukuna giving him a fist bump.
“No way you bagged y/n, She’s pretty bad,” Yuji says and you slap the back of both their heads.
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You sigh pushing your food around. It’s been a week and Choso doesn’t answer your texts, he doesn’t sit with you at lunch and he switched seats in the classes you share so now you’re forced to sit next to Mahito who you hate.
“Has he said anything to you?” You ask Sukuna as he steals one of your fries.
“Nah, he’s been staying over at Yuki’s. Who cares anyways” he says eating another fry until you’re pushing your tray towards him.
“I do and you should too, he’s your brother,” you say and he sighs.
“So what do you want me to do, I can beat him until he talks to you,” he offers genuinely, you try not to laugh at his violent and insane behavior.
“No, but I told you this would happen,” you say and he shrugs, holding a fry up to your lips until you eat it.
“Good girl,” he says as Yuki sits infront if you making you sit up. You’re prepared for her to yell at you but she doesn’t.
“I know Choso’s being stubborn, he told me everything. It’s really not his business on what you two do with eachother which I expressed so now he’s not talking to me,” she says taking a fry.
“He’s being a fucking diva,” Sukuna says making you laugh at him using such a word. “Break up with him and see how fast he comes running,” Sukuna concludes. The idea sounds absurd but Yuki’s pulling her phone out and tapping away at the screen.
“Oh you guys are cruel,” you say and she hits send.
“So what exactly is this?” She asks, pointing between you two.
“We’re dating, three months now,” you smile, being able to say it so openly feels nice.
“Oh that’s pathetic,” Sukuna says as Choso enters the cafeteria and walks towards your table. He holds his phone up at Yuki.
“Are you serious?”.
“What use is a boyfriend that won’t speak to you?” She asks and you take notes. She’s so nonchalant about it, serves him right.
“Fine, you want to talk let’s talk,” Choso says taking the seat between you and Yuki.
“You’re fucking a guy that told you the only jobs you’d get were either on a pole or your back and you’re fucking a girl that prayed to God for three weeks that you would catch Syphilis,” he says, Yuki covers her mouth to conceal a laugh.
“Well, she only does one of those jobs and I’m syphilis free,” Sukuna says and you pinch his ass through the opening in his chair making him squirm.
“He fucking hates you and you just…spread your legs for him?” Choso asks making your breathing hitch.
“Shut the fuck up, and choose your nexts word wisely,” Sukuna warns.
“That’s not what I meant. I just don’t get it, you’ve been lying and fucking my brother. It’s weird, and what’s suppose to happen when it’s over?” He asks.
“Nothing, because it never will be,” Sukuna answers, seemingly bored of this conversation.
“Choso, you’re my bestfriend and you always will be but what I do and who I do it with is my choice. I’m not sorry that it’s Sukuna or that I love him. But I am sorry that you feel the need to be mean and avoid me. When you got with Yuki, I accepted it. It’s caused us to make adjustments to our friendship that I’ve happily complied with, there’s no reason you can’t do the same,” you say with a level head and he nods.
“I just don’t want you getting hurt,” he sighs and you smile.
“I promise you, your brother takes good care of me,” you assure.
“In every aspect,” Sukuna adds making Choso cringe and Yuki laugh.
“This conversations boring me, come home and stop being a bitch” Sukuna says.
“Fine but no more sex jokes, and please lock your fucking door” Choso says.
“Fine, now beat it. I need a word with my girlfriend “ Sukuna says making Yuki and Choso dip. He pulls your chair toward him and leans in till your forehead is pressed against his.
“You love me?” He asks and you nod.
“I love you more than I ever hated you, so much fucking more,”.
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I know some of you wanted Choso’s reaction, I rewrote it so many times but I honestly don’t think he cares that much. He has no romantic feelings for her. But I do think the idea of her and his brother who is an absolute ass would seem quite disturbing.
Also she’s not pregnant! Thank y’all for the endless support on this. Gojo Tinder piece coming up next!
@whosmarjj @getoxmahito @xra1 @swoozleee @lillycore
@carefree-flowerchild
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dolldefiler · 3 days
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[FLUFFY STUFF because I’ve been feeling the loneliness of the long nights. A harem would be very nice right now but no one’s sent me any pigeon message applications.]
Hey now, you don’t have to worry. You’re okay, my love. There’s no need to hide yourself. I promise you’re perfect. No, no, you are beautiful and pretty and very, very hot. Can’t you feel it? Can’t you feel how hard I am for you? Of course it’s because of you. I love your body and not just because it’s yours. I’ve been thinking about you since the day we first met. Yeah, your body, silly.
Do you want me to show you how much I love your body, mhm? God, here, let me plaster kisses mwah here and mwah here. It’s so pretty—shush, yes it is. I won’t hear a word otherwise. Are you questioning my taste in women, miss?
Do I need to shower your body in kisses, mhm? Do I need to rub your pretty pussy so you’ll stop hiding your pretty tits? Shush, it is pretty. They are pretty. You’re fucking gorgeous and honestly, I’ve wanted nothing more than to bury my cock inside you ever since we met. Aww, are you blushing? You’re so fucking pretty, god. I can’t believe you’re mine. Mine, mine, mine. All mine! Every single inch of you is so perfect.
Can you feel how much my fingers enjoy your wet slit? Can you feel me exploring your folds and—fuck, don’t groan, princess. I just want to taste you… God, you’re delicious. You taste so good. It’s okay, sweetheart, I won’t go down on you today if you don’t want me to. We’ll go as fast or as slow as you want. I’m just happy to be here with you.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, that’s so hot. You’re so fucking hot. Your tits are so much better than I thought they’d look. Holy fuck, you’re so hot. C-can I? Oh my god—... do you like it when I flick your nipples with my tongue? You’re shaking your head but that cute moan tells me otherwise. You’re so hot and it’s driving me insane that you can’t see it. I can’t think of a woman that I want more. Mhm? Those actresses? Don’t be silly. They couldn’t hold a candle to you.
God, I’m so in love with your body… and in love with you too, you silly thing. We don’t have to go any further tonight. I got to see your life-changing tits and taste your ambrosial pussy. I am definitely not exaggerating, how dare you. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen and nothing you could ever say will ever, ever, ever change my opinion.
I could lay here with you in my arms, feeling your breath rise and fall against my chest, forever. I love you so much.
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haerni · 3 days
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🎱 ` DON’T WANNA BE FOOL, WANNA BE COOL
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syn. wherein nishimura riki has the biggest crush on you, but why would he tell you that? right?
fem reader , fluff , ni-ki is kind of emotionally constipated minimal proofread , word count. 1.0k + hes so ahhhhhhh i love him in fatal trouble :(
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you’re an idiot, ni-ki thinks.
and he does not mean that in any demeaning way, he could never—even if he used to call you that back then, but it’s different now. he’s not calling you an idiot for forgetting your umbrella when it’s pouring out on your way home or your jacket when you get cold and you’re pestering him to give his own. or even when you ask him something outrageously stupid and he couldn’t even find it in himself to say no.
no, ni-ki thinks you’re an idiot for not picking up on the hints he’s been giving you, since last month.
it’s outright a painful situation to watch, especially for him. even your close friends see it, just how can a person be this oblivious anyways?
he thinks he might be sick, because one day he feels his stomach suddenly flipping upside and down when you’re resting your head on his shoulders. you’ve been doing this since the both of you were six, what’s wrong with him?
this was just you being you, just another day the both of you shared—just another day with you. he might be going insane, he surmised. and now his waking and ending days are all now by the memory of you. his mondays were not a mundane that just happens like it did in the ones that has passed.
mondays were your dreadful days and it was his seventh heaven.
here you were, in front of him so close, he can feel you, he can touch you, he can bask in the warmth you always shine on, but he can’t have you like how lovers do. he can’t kiss you that would ever be deemed less than what you are right now.
he wanted to hold you like the gross couples you both cringe at, he wants to take you out and have you dress pretty for him, he wants to show you off, he wants to call you those petnames you’ve always wanted to be called. he wants you to be his and to be called yours.
nishimura riki wanted everything and almost all of you.
and no matter how cheesy it sounds, he wants it all at once.
maybe it was how the sun sets in the horizon or the breeze that blows your hair astray or that stupid laugh that somehow sounds like his favorite song or slamming of his heart that he can hear pounding in his ears—that somehow just makes him forget the lines he shouldn’t cross.
“stop looking at me like that.” your voice takes him out of his reverie. maybe he has been so lost in his head, he didn’t even notice you have stopped rambling about your weekend.
the air shifts almost as if the world just got a little smaller and the bubble you both share just felt suffocating—pressuring even.
he tilts he head quizzically, “what do you mean?”
“i don’t know...” you muttered.
you know it, you know it is there—that feeling you have been trying to avoid. the feeling you have tried so hard to bury, to ignore or to even acknowledge. because why would you? why would you entertain these estranged feelings when there is uncertainty to the answer to its question?
ni-ki has never been more afraid of whatever is next to come out of your lips. he can’t speak, you have rendered him worried. your words almost feel like a rose that might hurt him by its thorns or the petals that fall just the same that bloomed from his chest. he waits for you to continue in anticipation, his hands were clammy, the increasing pace of his heart was so loud, he hopes that you can’t hear it.
you took a short breath, almost as if you were being robbed of it at this moment, like you cannot breathe, “...you look at me as if you want me.”
my god, you aren’t wrong, ni-ki thinks now.
and when you don’t hear any response from his it compels you to fill the silence that consumes everything in your soul.
“you look at me as if you want to kiss me and i don—”
“—i do.” he answers almost all too immediately, his brain going haywire. and that was all there it was.
“what? stop messing around, ni-ki.”
what.. is this real? nishimura riki, the same boy who kept teasing you back in grade school likes you? riki, the boy who held out his hand to you when you slipped on the stairs while delivering some stupid papers to your teacher. ni-ki, the boy who would always carry you on his back on the way home just because you want to. the boy who have pinky promise you for life when you were six, the same boy you have been crushing on, likes you back.
nishimura riki, your best friend of a decade just admitted he wants to kiss you—more than normal friends do.
he breathes out, mustering up the courage, “i mean it, idiot. i have been for so long.” he says matter of factly, “..so, can i?”
he likes likes you that way.
“please—”
that was the word he only needed and he closes the distance as quickly as he can. oh how sweet your lips were, depravity—your lips almost felt like he had been depraved all of these years. it was sweet, tingling and fleeting. but he was happy nonetheless, it was not how the movies go, but it just the way he would have you everytime.
so please, take his heart and use it as much as you will. because he did promise you before to devote everything he has.
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+ extra.
“who even confesses and calls their crush an idiot!” you huffed.
“i do and that’s because you’re an idiot.” he pokes your forehead playfully. “i was dropping hints everywhere and you couldn’t see it.”
“what hints, riki? oh my god, did you think staring at me like that was flirting?”
he couldn’t answer or think of an excuse to that.
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ᰔ — likes & reblogs are always highly appreciated! i hope i did ni-ki some justice T^T
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anemoiashifts · 22 hours
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shifting tips / advice that don’t suck !
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♡getting offline.
i know i know it’s hard, but being bombarded with different information about a certain topic can be so overwhelming & create room for overthinking which can effect performance. looking in places outside of shiftok or shiftblur or shift whatever. putting more effort into trying to figure out what something is instead of doing it will drive you insane because there is no answer to what shifting is. hence, “theories” & shared experiences. there is no concrete reasoning to shifting backed by science so don’t try & find them or you’ll be looking forever.
♡music.
did you know you can use music to manipulate memories ? the brain is so so bad at remembering things due to how much information we consume daily. when you visualize & listen to a sound or music, your brain can register that as a memory.
♡smell.
this one also aligns with the one above. smell is heavily tied to memory, also. by watching a show we are shifting to & pairing it with a certain scent like a perfume or candle, we can create a link between the two. then, spraying during shifting attempts can help us visualize & associate that piece of media with where we’re focusing on.
♡shadow work.
find out why you’re shifting. happiness ? you don’t need to shift for that. love ? you don’t need to shift for that. if you want to that’s fine but is shifting a bandaid for something deeper ? discover that. really think & consider where you’re going & if you’re in the right mentality to handle it. you aren’t in a television show episode or an oc, you’ll be a living human being in a very real & interactive world. figure out your intentions.
♡put in effort.
this may be a little obvious but you have to want to shift, to shift. you have to put in work & effort to shift & take another approach if doing the same method 10x over hasn’t worked for you. “we shift every second” sure but you didn’t shift into your desired reality in the past thirty. “im saying an affirmation & rolling over & hoping ill wake up in my dr” & how has that worked out for you ? just because this has maybe worked for other people, doesn’t mean it'll work for you. everyone is different. people require more time & effort to get something right then others just like subjects like art or english come easier to students.
♡perfection.
not everything has to be perfect. script isn’t completed ? so what ? you’ve been saying “im not ready yet” for the five months. don’t put off good things out of fear of them not being exactly how you want it because it will never be perfect because perfection isn’t real. if you don’t have everything figured out — that’s fine. why ? because life will sort itself out. this remains true right here & in your desired life. if it’s any comfort, everything will fall into place.
♡neutrality.
if you’re someone who wakes up after an attempt saying “i’ll never shift, i hate this reality” then you’re kinda sabotaging yourself in a way. your creating the mindset that this is the “bad” place when shifting is “good”. that’s not true. everything is entirely neutral until you define it as such. in addition, you are focusing more on the “haven’t” & giving that more attention to & what you give attention to will only grow until it’s so big you can’t see anything else.
♡listening.
people who want things don’t sit & complain about not having them, they persist & would do anything to get their desires & live in that reality. instead of saying “i didn’t shift” & sulking about it, take it as a learning experience to see what does & doesn’t work for you; your body is showing you what not to do so listen to yourself.
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leprosycock · 23 hours
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what would you say are *thee* jlud streams. the definition jlud streams. the criterion collection if you will
- name your price + jrma’s hey donna episode double feature [insanely horny, chock full of extremely meta references to the narrative and condition of their relationship and the way they view each other, jrma is needlessly homosexual, they’re very touchy and flirty, “it’s always been me and you babe”, and qt is relentlessly jealous and possessive over lud throughout the entire hey donna episode in a way that she never is on any ordinary stream of hers. this double feature feels like it was written into an indie movie or something because of how tightly and perfectly it’s wound within their narrative and it’s insane]
- beerio kart [shakespearian. words can’t describe the utter yearning, longing, desperation, and desire displayed on screen.]
- juiced [one of the most sexually charged streams they’ve ever done together. tons and tons of physical contact, a ridiculous amount of tension, and a near breaking point that has to be seen to be believed. they choke each other’s own little world out in this stream.]
- dollhouse [you can’t beat the classics. it’s raw. it’s real. it’s the birth of summer love. the intricacies of it and how they both hide it behind layers and layers of fiction as they dance around each other for the very first time is foundational for them and their relationship. never forget that Iudwig stole holly’s choker and wore it for two days of shooting, making it integral to his costume.]
- bro vs bro [they have an insane amount of fun together, j is constantly writhing in embarrassing and the prison of his own self-awareness and insecurity, they play teacher/student, lud is a wrathful sick little freak, j writes fanfiction in his own head about how he was supposed to show up to lud’s house in a milk maid outfit. it’s nonstop thrills]
- chessboxing [AAAA. AAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK]
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
- the streamer awards 2022 [this was pretty painful to watch but their interactions were so valuable that it’s necessary to remark upon]
- risk [it’s spread out and pretty underrated but there are some really really good moments in this. jrma is mean and i don’t know why but it’s awesome]
- shufflemania [there is so much bullshit you have to fast forward through but the moments between the two of them are. like. Holy fuck it’s insane. this was during the divorce arc and they clearly wanted each other back so badly]
- the replacement stream [watching this feels like gargling a bucket of thumbtacks but it’s so unbelievably fascinating and it’s exhilarating to watch lud’s jealousy and resentment and possessiveness in action]
- battleship [soooooo cute so so so cute… watching them begin to fall in love with each other makes my heart ache :((((]
- first house flipper tournament [not nearly as insane as a lot of other streams but i go crazy for lud being a jealous crybaby piece of shit and begging for j’s attention and this is like candy in that regard]
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heylookliisten · 1 year
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me trying to summon a very specific type of boyfriend for 2023
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tariah23 · 3 months
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One of the main reasons why I used to avoid Isekai’s, and fantasy works in general, like the plague is because of how over saturated they’d become with things that didn’t feel like they even belonged to the genre to begin with… it’s not too hard to find works that stand out but so much of those works have been pushed down and forgotten, it just sucks.
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itspileofgoodthings · 22 days
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Taylor returning over and over to the falling through the ice accident in the Bolter—everything to me
#like. just. the shock of it all#there’s something about Taylor where her experience of life is so ….. brutal#like I don’t know how else to say it but it just is. life is not easy on her it is always ready to CLOBBER her#and in a way she’s not easy on life. there’s some kind of magnets/opposite poles stuff where she’s just always drawn to the worst things#to feeling them and experiencing them and almost ??? creating them#like I don’t mean to overstate it. and I know she has a family who loves her (thank GOD)#and also she’s very practical and industrious about creating this very Instagram worthy life full of Fine Things and a Fun Time#and of course all the resources in the world at her disposal to create all the trappings of it#whether it’s a celebrity Fourth of July party or the eras tour#and she’ll do it and love it. but as all the best critics know and point out the most fascinating thing about Taylor is always the music#and it’s where all the weirdness and stubbornness and difficulties of her life. her a c t u a l longings her actual fears#her actual terrible awful experiences that she charges headlong down the paths of#is set free! and it’s breathtaking in the most shocking way#like falling through the ice! I always say the first thing that always hits me about a Taylor album is the bitterness#just this blast in the face. and her music is so gentle! in so many ways#and the packaging is so appealing and her voice is so soft and expressive and there is none of that weird experimentation#even musically (remember when she shut down imogen heap for putting a minor chord in clean she was like absolutely not. I’m obsessed)#(with that moment forever)#but like. so much of Taylor’s packaging and life and HER really does SEEM so basic or ordinary or just rich girl ordinary I guess#she likes basic things and wants basic things. but also she is so hungry so restless so angry so wounded the rich internal life is CHURNING#all the time. every second. and it’s spectacular to watch and also I will worry about her until the day I die#or just—-I don’t know. it’s going to be spectacular and it is sometimes going to be awful#but she will keep furiously writing her way through it!!#there IS such a woundedness to her. and it makes me love her so much because it’s packaged in such a way people think it must just be#whining or privilege. but it’s not! it’s just. the human condition and Taylor’s own flaws#okay I’ve lost the plot here a bit in my ramblings but yeah the ice metaphor. insanely perfect
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arthur-r · 7 days
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(stupid vent in the tags i’m maybe struggling a lot. not feeling particularly real or handling my life and relationships maturely at all)
#i love i LOVE how i can write out three fucking pages of how well and normal my life is going and then just fall apart#is this directly correlated to whether i take my anxiety medication? certainly but the side effects are SHIT and its not mandatory anymore#(realizing the amount of my shit relationship that i spent fucking drugged up by myself is SHIT!! i wasn’t a real human being i was so#fucking out of it all the time and he DIDNT FUCKING CARE and i’m upset. that being said i’m anxious as shit now without my meds)#anyway i’m meeting up with two people tomorrow and they’re both the most fucked up sorts of relationships where they’ve been almost my#entire life at certain points of time but are also people who have made me FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE but with no ill will just fucked situation#problem is one is just an asshole but the other is an incredible person with delusions attached. i think. i’m struggling#i was so fucking healthy two days ago and i thought its a good idea to say hi when i’m in town. but no actually i’m fucked in the head#i feel like he’s either going to kill me or fall in love with me. he’s ten years older than me. and has done NOTHING WRONG IM JUST INSANE#should i not show up?? this is a normal fucking person this is a normal person and i want to say hi. already sent him a long fucking email#so we’re a little late to lose this relationship. and it’s FUCKING NORMAL. normal fucking person. mentor figure positive fucking role model#what the fuck is wrong with me!!!! i’m so fucking normal i just get insane. i’m being like my nemesis actually. ex-bandmate who fucked me u#and didn’t fucking care about anyone and saw me as a character i’m doing her fucking thing. im talking about a normal man who cares about m#a normal amount. ​and interacts with me in a NORMAL FUCKING WAY. who SAVED MY FUCKING LIFE. what is WRONG WITH ME#aside from that…. i’m just feeling sick and awful. my little sister is really struggling and so am i. and i talk so much and never listen#and i could have fucking sworn that i was doing well. fucking LAST NIGHT i wrote all about how fucking stable i am. how i’m going to be oka#AND I AM. i just feel like shit. and i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i’m going on testosterone TOMORROW if all goes well. why can’t i#just fucking focus on that?!!?!?!?? and i’m dysphoric as shit it’s half of what’s wrong with me right now. maybe t will just fucking fix me#but what the fuck. what the fuck. i dont know. all of a sudden i’m in a bad place. i just want to be okay.#i hope everyone is well and i’m sorry for venting. i would almost not post this but i don’t feel real#i don’t know. sending love…. let me know if you need anything please. be well 💛#friends only#vent cw#like if read#delete later#ask to tag
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notmygrave · 7 months
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best friend decided to move abroad next year for uni i cried so much i’m going to kill him and then kill myself
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lemonlurkrr · 2 years
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…is the wardio even a joke anymore I can’t tell.
I think I’m at the point where I don’t want it to be a joke anymore.
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munamania · 2 years
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was kind of fun being delusional and pretending they were hanging out less well i hope they die. or um i hope that things that have clearly been stressors on their relationship get worse and they have a fight. and also i hope he cries during sex ok sorry jesus for saying that. i guess i could be normal and just say i hope they break up.
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vstheworld · 1 year
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realizing romcoms overutilize the montage because figuring out how you portray all the little intricacies of how two people fall in love is fucking. difficult.
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pussy-ache · 2 years
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literally so angry
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reasoncourt · 2 years
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going crazy over how many layers are in these lyrics “and when you call it’s shameless / in these four walls i’m faithless / like when you caught me, graceless / until you fall it’s painless”
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