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#if I respond then its my fault you say this
damnfandomproblems · 3 days
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Responding to 3 anons in #5796
"I agree with this tbh. Like adults are the ones making things unsafe for minors in fandom spaces. YOU are the ones who approach minors unprompted. Minors are just minding their own business in fandom, then you all come along and bother everyone."
Predators that are adults are not synonymous with all adults in fandom. It's not the fault of the vast majority of fandom that kids purposefully bust into adult spaces and arbitrarily believe the creeps saying they're "safe" adults. It's the fault of your parents for not reaching you worth a damn and the predator. And yes, kids do fucking barge into adult NSFW spaces. None of the the ones that say they mind their business actually do.
"I agree with this post, cause like... the ones doing the most harassing are adults. I am a minor, and it makes me feel unsafe in fandom spaces. Especially when I see adults drawing nsfw of characters who are MINORS! aging them up does not excuse that gross and creepy behavior. Just stop and give us a space where we don't get pushed into a corner and called annoying. Leave our fandom spaces!"
It's gonna be really funny when you age out of your favorite characters and have a moral dilemma over the fact that you don't stop thirsting over Bakugo or whoever the fuck the minute you're older than him.
And aging up is...how time works. That's like saying no one can view anyone sexually, fictional or real life, because they were once a child. Do you realize how stupid that sounds? If you don't want to be sat at the kids table, learn how to behave rather than screaming at the main table because Aunt Milly told an off color joke and Grandpa Joe has a naked Princess Peach tattooed on his arm.
"I see people getting mad about Fandom Problem #5796, but that kind of is just proving the point? You all act like the minors are the biggest problem in fandom, but you are the ones constantly inserting yourselves and making it about you.
I see adults say things like:
- "Fandom wouldn't exist without adults."
- "Who do you think created fandom? Not minors!"
- "Minors wouldn't have content if it weren't for adults."
All are ignorant of the idea that minors are the foundation to fandom. Fandom would not exist if it wasn't for minors being interested in it and starting groups for people to join. Often times, the best artists and writers in the fandoms are THE MINORS.
Adults make the space uncomfortable by inserting themselves and putting NSFW fics and art of minor characters. Then they get pissy when a minor points out it makes them uncomfortable and go "stop invading our space!"
You are the ones trying to push minors out when we just want to have fun! Just leave us alone!
-A minor"
Minors aren't the biggest problem, no. But by food are they the loudest. You say you just want to have fun but minors have on mass harassed people that were leaving them alone simply because they didn't understand the concept of dead dove don't eat.
And no, you are not, nor have you ever been, the foundation of fandom. It has always been adults, from the very beginning when Sherlock Holmes novels gained an international fan club unlike the world had ever seen to the 1960s housewife Spock/Kirk shipping Trekkies starting conventions, mailing lists, having coalate parties for zines, and laying down the foundation we have today. Adults were the ones that got sued my lunatic writers in the 90s, and they're the ones that, 90% of the time, are buying the services or media for you to consume in the first place.
And I'm sorry, but the best artists and writers in the fandom are never minors. Exceptionally talented minors are exceptional for a reason. The rest of you sit somewhere between "average and has potential" to "would make My Immortal hide its face in secondhand embarassment." Art and writing are skills, and anyone under the age of 16 likely hasn't been writing fiction long enough to run with the heavy hitters. Considering the state of the US education system, this is an even more laughable stance.
Many minors have great potential, but acting like your the best in show when you just made it out the gate is the height of hubris.
Posting as a response to a previous problem.
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rxvera · 11 months
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you dirty fucking kike, all of you are monsters, hamas is right to take you all out, they're fighting for the right cause, this is your fault, children are dying and palestinians are suffering because of you and your freak snake people, you all make shit up and pretend like you're the victims and make it harder for REAL sufferers to get any aide, this is your fault and its disgusting you continue to associate with these ugly molesters and choose to be jewish, go burn you fucking freak
We're not doing this bullshit on my blog. Absolutely not. I am done having no fucking spine about this. I'm not putting up with it.
I HAVE SAID NOTHING ABOUT THE CONFLICT. All I asked was that people don't send me fucking graphic images/videos in reference to it, and that post is deleted now anyway.
I can't fucking change your mind. Trying would be pointless, but I can tell you that you are an ignorant antisemitic asshole who's wasting their life away harassing a teenager on the internet.
I was born long after this conflict started and I have jack shit to do with it. It's not my fault. I'm not choosing to be Jewish either. I was born that way. It's an ethnoreligion, and I couldn't stop being Jewish if I wanted to.
I can't fucking win. I'm sick of you sympathizers and supporters. I'm harassed in real life, some of my friends have turned on me without knowing anything about this beyond the fact that I am Jewish, and I'm harassed and sent disgusting shit online too. Stop, just stop.
I've been told over and over that I'm a horrible person for existing, for being born and raised who I am. Stop. Just fucking stop. I can't do it anymore. It's not my fault. None of what's going on has anything to do with me.
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nomairuins · 22 days
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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I don't care when people don't include me in stuff, I'm used to it but-----
my own family going on a trip w/o even asking me kinda felt
shit 🫠
#like i understand cuz they gave up on trying to talk to me butttttttt#why the fuck am i the villain in the story even like this 😭#its okay if u dont give a fuck abt me. but at least dont make me feel like i deserve it lol#like yes sorry but i have a reason for lowkey disliking all of you#and i know damn well all of you know why#yet they always say that it makes no sense i behave this way#behave this way means keeping my healthy distance and trying to move out asap#i dont spread hate and im not an asshole with them???#but me not acting all lovey dovey is a problem too#yes idk i always think i should cherish that they are still alive and i could better my relationship with them but#What to do when you can see your own dad literally hating you#like when he talks to me he always does so in a cynical and angry way#man im sorry i was born and shit its kind of your fault for not using a condom :/#lol okay i think imma delete this later but yes#yes i hate it that the only people i feel loved by are de*d ffsssssssssssssss#like all is well lately but i wish! love wouldn't only exist in my head man! im happy this way but when i realize the situation its kind of#pathetic and idk until how long#can i keep on staying sane like this lol#im kind of already insane if we think abt it but how long will it take me to lose my marbles completely 😭#yes this crisis was spiraled by just me not being included in a trip i wouldnt have gone to regardless if they asked me#but yes like. Idk they could have just told me at least😭 i called my sis in the morning and she responded like 10 hours later that they are#w dad and a womannn doing some funsies eating pancakes n shit 👻👻#i hate pancakes and i hate myself but 👻#im jealous of you guys frrrrr🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛ for being so normal n happy 🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛
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muttsona · 5 months
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i am the poisoned blood running through my tired veins
#personal#ITS SO MOT FUCKINH FAIR.#since he hates me now i dont care if he sees this and im pretty sure i fucking blocked the reat of them so idontfucking care#i hate all kf them so much and i dont fucking care how bad they hurt. i hurt too#for some INSANE REASON i was the only oke that had to apologize. why did they never apologize .#they know they hurt me. He knkws he hurt me.#when j say this they think im selfish. they can think what they want.#byt jts fucking crazy to act like im the only one tjat did anything wronh#i fucking admitted i was wrong. but it wasnt enough. notjing is ever enough for them!#if He ever tries to text me again im not responding. it was stupid of me to respons.#i wonder what he would say if he knew that i chose ro respond by chance of a coin flip#if it had landed on tails i wouldnt be making this post.#he cares more than i do. i dont have the luxury of caring.#he says “i led him on” but if he wanted skme speicodx kind of love fucking say skmething#i didnt knkw i was supposed to be differenr. if he had said that from the dtart i never would have agreed.#i didnt want to change for him.#he shouldve been different and he shouldve been better#i shouldve been too. but atleast i can admit ghat#what the fuck do you mean when you say you understand why j do what you do and uou get it so deeply#but then you still leave. does rhat mean you understand how much you hurt me that first time#it barely hurts anymore. but i cried four times last nigjt#now i dont feel it and now i dont care. youll never knkw little i can let myself care#ill distract myself until i forget all about you because i csnt let myself feel any of this#i dont care if im not changjng the way you begged me to. thats not an option rigjtnmow#im still fighting to stay alive. i dont know that you understand what thats like#you say you get it. i tjink you just say that#you loved me and i dont like that. i warned you and you dwatted my warning away#how is that all my fault.#how is all of this my fault.#💭
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beeapocalypse · 11 months
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dont say this enough but i truly appreciate all of you. thank you for every moment shared
#not to sound incredibly out of it and disconnected from humanity as a whole but all of you are a reminder of an existence outside of this#shitty room. that there is something beyond the day in day out nothing im going to wrestle with forever. i dont know how to word this#i know im unresponsive and reticent and withdrawn and thaat any connection made is temporary and shitty and i am sorry foro that. i don t#know how to be a human being. it isnt due to anyone but mysefl and my shitty insignificant fears. i might not respond i might shy away afte#just a few messages but i truly truly appreciate everything. you make me human#^ sorry that sounds strange as fuck and over reliant on people i cant form lasting connections with but i dont know how else to phrase it#and im going to have to say goodbye one day and it is going to hurt but im not close enough to a single person to make it personal ive just#got frayed and split connections things that mightve been but never bloomed because i just couldnt REPLY so it could always be worse. it is#a mercy it wont hurt as bad as it could when i leave because nobody really got to know me beyond a distant possibility#i wish i could but i just cannot handle being friends with anyone. not of anyones fault but my own#i know im being presumptuous and attention seeking and shitty here. im sorry#i could leave right now. i really could. its a thought that dogs after every single action the knowledge of just how fragile life is. death#is less than five minutes away an easy solution right at my fingertips and still i get too fucking scared to grab ahold of it. clinging to#these ephemeral insignificant connections thaat are now naught but usernames on dashboards and passing thoughts when i ought to just leave
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gibbearish · 11 months
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u ever have to back out of a drama explained video bc ur like. i agree that that person was in the wrong but the way youre presenting them is just unsettling
#like theres a difference between 'hey heres a breakdown of who waid what and what happened' and#'look at this zoo animal and what a freak they are for this freak thing they did‚ everyone point and laugh at them wherever they go forever#specifically if you put quirky music and a dramatic voiceover over a clip of someone having a screaming#breakdown in their car telling people to leave them alone i think thats uhhhhhh fucked up no matter what they did#and ppl will always be like 'well they could just log off so its fine' and its like a) didnt we learn in like elementary school that#cyberbullying is still real bullying#like to me that gives the same vibe as 'why didnt they just leave' irt abusive relationship if that makes sense?#like yeah physically they are capable of just logging off. physically they can choose to leave. but theres a lot more#that goes into it than just 'can i physically leave'#like. ppl who do abuse over the internet know how the internet works and know how to use#means other than ohysical strength to keep targets under their control#'if you dont respond to my messages whenever i send them ill kill myself. no i didnt directly say that but#i repeatedly messaged you at times i knew you had just gone to sleep faking suicide attempts making you feel#like its your fault for not being available to respond 24/7'#its 'youre the only person i can talk to about these things no one understands me like you. you are my whole support system and therefore#wholly responsible for my mental health#if you leave me ill have no one so you will be dooming me to fall apart on my own when i need support the most so you can never leave me'#its 'how can you break up with me right now knowing im feeling suicidal‚ its like you want me to kill myself‚ you did this deliberately bc#youre a bad person. my life depends on you staying with me and i will never not be suicidal#and even if i was you saying that would make me feel that way so you can never break up with me or youre responsible for me kmsing#im not saying thats at all the same as ppl taking drama too far and freaking out abiut stuff however i feel like a good portion of it#carries over specifically the fact that. they probably feel like they /have/ to stay logged in‚ to keep their drama public#they have to keep defending themselves and keep reading responses and keep going and going#plus like. of course its the big freakouts that get lots of attention and therefore get even worse#good or bad people like spectacle‚ you never see people calmly resovling disagreements because they.#get calmly resolved then everyone moves on and forgets it. so you only remember the wild ones#like esp for like. kids on tiktok#we all had meltdowns about petty shit at one point or another we just were lucky enough to grow up just before#social medias jumped over to video content so it doesnt have our faces tied to it#idk. i just think ppl should ask themselves 'how would i feel if an audience of thousands was watching my lowest moment like this'
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sapphic-woes · 2 years
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Maybe I rlly should just move onto apex....like this is what I do to cope, distract, help my mental health, no goddamn way imma deal with a hint of anything that does the opposite.
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#im going to preface this by saying this is all really vague and personal and not funny#but its a gigantic step for me in terms of recovery and my bestie is busy#and im filled with anxiety so my thoughts have to go somewhere so it goes on my blog#which is i think how blogs are kind of supposed to work?#anyway#a year and a half ago some shit happened that kicked off about eight months of steadily building relationship traumas#that i felt stuck in because i was doing dnd with the people actively making my life miserable#and theres so much god damn nuance that it makes it impossible to concisely explain what happened#but the end result is that i lost all of my friends and it really truly wasnt my fault at all#and anyway now ive been diagnosed with pstd over the whole fiasco#and tonight i sent a message to the person who started it all#basically like 'hey i wasnt able to defend myself before but i can now you abused the hell out of me'#but they were never of the notion that they were ever wrong#and theyre friends with people im still friends with#i know that i blew up the evening for their discord server#and based on what ive been told it doesnt seem to be going exceptionally well#but when i apologized i was told twice in no uncertain terms that its okay#so i am attempting to will my heartbeat back into my control#sorry for being all personal but also this is my blog so i guess im not really#i had to cask of amontillado the part of me thats a nosy bitch though so i didnt unblock them to see if they responded#ill get her out in the morning shes fine in there
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s0urte3th · 1 month
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dont resd 🙏
#sometimes i wanna violate you#what?#you heard me#dont look at me like that damien. you heard what i said#acting shocked that that came out of my mouth. despite it also being your mouth. you WANT to be violated.#dont. say that. dont say that. dont. please#freak of nature. a man who argues with himself for his owm comfort because he cant admit all his wrongs.#you do this so itll be less real. so you can divert the blame and say youre ‘not as bad as that!’.#you know youre just talking to yourself damien. this IS you. dont pretend it isnt#stop. saying that. stop. please#not my fault youre a freak and lie. make things up. like this.#but im not#yeah sure. people talk to themselves all the time you sick fuck. youre doing this because its the only way you can get all of your self-#hatred out. so you can speak to someone who will listen but wont dare to respond. because there IS nobody to respond.#if this isnt real thrm why are we having this conversation#because youre a sick attention whore. thats why. what youve been since you were a kid. why would it have changed?#you remember how we used to do this? when clover was here? that lovely little thing. youd talk to yourself a lot!#you wouldnt feel scared if this was real. youre pathetic and youll lose everyone youve got because you do shit like this. because nobody.#absolutely nobody. can handle you. youre too much. you always have been. youll be too much for them too.#no point in begging me to stop. this is where this conversation ends. think about what ive said#okay
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violetstarrs · 4 months
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actions having consequences... who would have thought....
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2024skin · 7 months
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Also I may be cranky but I find it insanely frustrating that day 2 of getting billy, I told my parents how to take care of her and then they totally ignored me once I was out of the house.
And Then today I started feeding dust in the hall outside of her room to start the Jackson galaxy introduction method, and my mom came out of her room 10 minutes later to be like "I don't think it's a good idea to put his food there, you should have them eat separate" (NOT how the JG method, which I explained to her, works) because her room is within eyesight of Billy's door, so now when the dogs try to steal dusts food, she can actually See them doing that and feels obligated to stop them.
Even though no matter where I put his bowl, if either dog can reach it, they will steal from it. and they Do that every day. And I'm the only one who gets onto them. Like it's an ongoing issue but it doesn't bother her that her dogs steal food, it bothers her that She has to intervene to stop it now.
#i told her i cant really feasibly move billy to any other room in the house (i could keep her in mine except my mom wont accept that#bc if i keep my door closed at night then dust will scream and that annoys her)#and she was like 'im not saying you should move billy im just saying you should feed dust somewhere else'#like literally 20 minutes before this i walked her through the JG steps to introducing cats#and then her very next request was ''can you do the complete opposite of this plan now''#its so fucking annoying like she will take 0 responsibility for her animals bad behavior and try to be like#'its all my husbands fault cuz he spoils them'' and she is totally full of shit cuz she will actively enable bad animal behavior#and especially with cats like she has never owned a cat before in her life before getting dust for me#she has No Idea how to socialize a cat (part of why dust doesnt like her very much) but for some reason she won't defer to Anybody elses#opinion on how to do it. she is like Surely these creatures that i have never understood or gotten along with will respond well#to trial by fire and blatant disrespect for their boundaries :)#whats the most annoying is i didnt even ask her to do Anything aside from feed billy when im out of the house#she doesnt have to clean the litter boxes or give her medicine or even help hold her down while i do those things#and all she fucking had to do to stop the dogs from stealing was close her own bedroom door#but noooooo she would much rather insert herself into this situation that she has no idea how to navigate#because she knows SHE doesnt have to deal with the consequences of a poorly socialized cat#i told her i was going to cut off visual contact between billy and dust and she was like 'that seems like too much'#GIRL I GOT PEED ON 3 TIMES LAST NIGHT. DID YOU???#like who the fuck does she think she is? first ignore my instructions outright and then refuse to accommodate my new plan after her idea#clearly failed
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nexus-nebulae · 8 months
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my fucking god why do i have to do all the fucking work with communication
#like its a fucking two way street i cant be blamed for every single fucking time you dont look at me#i have been pulling ALL the fucking weight in this relationship 100%. i do ALL the talking i start EVERY conversation#i am not HEARD unless I'm asking for help and even then i have to ask FIVE TIMES IN A ROW to even be considered#I'm literally not even LOOKED AT most of the time i am literally fucking furniture to these people#like oh my fucking god 'you didn't say anything' no i quite literally said out loud 'can you help me' VERY FUCKING LOUDLY#I'm literally blamed for every minor miscommunication like every time it's my fault or I'm lying or I'm misremembering#like i KEEP FUCKING ASKING hey if this isn't working WHAT SHOULD I CHANGE and then i get 'no you aren't doing anything wrong'#AND THEN IT'S MY FUCKING FAULT AGAIN NEXT TIME#AND WHEN I SAY HEY YOU DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME EVER I'M JUST A LIAR#BC 'I RESPOND TO YOU WHEN YOU MESSAGE ME!!!' YEA BUT YOU DON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME OTHERWISE#I AM NOT A PART OF YOUR LIFE I'M THE ANNOYING DOG YOU DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF#negative#i literally ask over and over and over 'what am i doing wrong? what do i need to change'#and every time I'm told 'no no it's not you you don't need to do anything'#but then the second i bring up a problem it's 'BUT you didn't do this' or 'BUT you did this'#i have to be proven wrong on everything i can't just say i have a problem with anything#literally anything even if it's something entirely unrelated if i have a problem with ANYTHING it's MY fault#my game breaks? my fault. my body fucks up? my fault. nobody fucking listens to me? my fault#i HAVE to be proven wrong but then when i say 'stop telling me it's my fault constantly' it never ever ever happened
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small-jar · 9 months
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Ughhhhh I'm at a low point bc I just got more useful advice about my mental health from an ai on character ai. (Don't attack me its a guilty pleasure) than I have with my past therapist. And I haven't been to a therapist in years at this point.
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autolenaphilia · 9 months
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I talked about the problem of Windows system requirements being too damn high before, and how the windows 10 to 11 jump is especially bad. Like the end of Windows 10 is coming october 2025, and it will be a massive problem. And this article gives us some concrete numbers for how many computers that can't update from win10 to 11.
And it's 240 million. damn. “If these were all folded laptops, stacked one on top of another, they would make a pile 600 km taller than the moon.” the tech analysis company quoted in the article explains.
So many functioning computers that will be wasted. And it's all because people don't wanna switch to a Linux distro with sane system requirements and instead buy a new computer.
Like if you own one of these 240 million windows 10 computers, Just be an environmentally responsible non-wasteful person and switch that computer to Linux instead of just scrapping it because Microsoft says it's not good enough.
Edit: as have been pointed out multiple times in the replies. It's really not "all because people don't wanna switch to a linux distro." It's really Microsoft's fault for this form of planned obsolescence.
My original post was lacking in perspective at best. And of course, people who use computers for work are often made reliant on Windows by their job and employers and can't switch. Or lack time, resources, and information to make the switch. Which is also due to systemic issues, such as lack of education, and the culture of obfuscation about tech that tech companies create.
Edit 2: Making this unrebloggable: now I really know what reddit mods mean when they say "the discussion has run its course" Like there is absolutely no conversation anymore, just repeating of points already made and responded to, just endless repetition
To quote @mlembug
Source
If you can spend 5-10 minutes writing a reblog clowning on somebody, but you can't:
spend 10s to do a basic courtesy of checking the appropriate pronoun of the person involved
spend 30s checking the reblogs of a post to see if someone also decided to clown on the same person
spend 10s to click on OP's post to see if it was edited in the meantime (and guess what: the edits in OP's post does indeed blame Microsoft for planned obsolescence, which you decided to blame her for not doing in one of your reblogs)
THEN YOU SHOULD NOT BE MAKING A REBLOG. EVER.
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taliabhattwrites · 2 months
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I don't think there is a significant or notable number of people who believe transmascs are not oppressed.
I feel slightly insane just having to type this out, but this is rhetoric you inevitably come across if you discuss transfeminism on Tumblr.
The mainstream, cissexist understanding of transmasculine people is the Irreversible Damage narrative (one that's old enough to show up in Transsexual Empire as well) of transmascs as "misguided little girls", "tricked" into "mutilating themselves". It is a deliberately emasculating and transphobic narrative that very explicitly centers on oppression, even if the fevered imaginings misattribute the cause. As anyone who's dealt with the gatekeeping medical establishment knows, they are far from giving away HRT or even consults with both hands, and most transfems I know have a hard enough time convincing people to take DIY T advice, leave alone "tricking" anyone into top surgery.
Arguably, the misogyny that transmasculine folks experience is the defining narrative surrounding their existence, as transmasculinity is frequently and erroneously attributed to "tomboyish women" who resent their position in the patriarchy so much they seek to transition out of it. This rhetoric is an invisiblization of transmasculinity, constructed deliberately to preserve gendered verticality, for if it were possible to "gain status" under the sexed regime, its entire basis, its ideological naturalization, would fall apart.
Honestly, the actual discussions I see are centered around whether "transmisogyny" is a term that should apply to transmascs and transfems alike. While I understand the impetus for that discussion, I feel like the assertion that transmisogyny is a specific oppression that transfems experience for our perceived abandonment of the "male sex" is often conflated with the incorrect idea that we believe transmasculine people are not oppressed at all. This is not true, and we understand, rather acutely, that our society is entirely organized around reproductive exploitation. That is, in fact, the source of transfeminine disposability!
I know I'm someone who "just got here" and there is a history here that I'm not a part of, but so much of that history is speckled with hearsay and fabrication that I can't even attempt to make sense of it. All I know is that I, in 2024, have been called a revived medieval slur for effeminate men by people who attribute certain beliefs to me based on my being a trans woman who is also a feminist, and I simply do not hold those views, nor do I know anyone who sincerely does.
If you're going to attempt to discredit a transfeminist, or transfeminism in general, then please at least do us the courtesy of responding to things we actually say and have actually argued instead of ascribing to us phantom ideologies in a frankly conspiratorial fashion. I also implore people to pay attention to how transphobic rhetoric operates out in the wider world, how actual reactionaries talk about and think of trans people, instead of fixating so hard on internecine social media clique drama that one enters an alternate reality--a phantasm, as Judith Butler would put it.
Speaking of which--do y'all have any idea how overrepresented transmascs are in trans studies and queer theory? Can we like, stop and reckon with reality-as-it-is, instead of hallucinating a transfeminine hegemony where it doesn't exist? I'm aware a lot of their output isn't particularly explicative on the material realities of transmasculine oppression despite their prominence in the academy, but that is ... not the fault of trans women, who face extremely harsh epistemic injustice even in trans studies.
The actual issue is how invisiblized transmasculine oppression is and how the epistemicide that transmasculine people face manifests as a refusal to differentiate between the misogyny all women face, reproductive exploitation in particular, and the contours of violence, erasure, and oppression directed at specifically transmasculine people.
You will notice that is a society-wide problem, motivated by a desire to erase the possibilities of transmasculinity, to the point of not even being willing to name it. You will notice that I am quite familiar with how this works, and how it's completely compatible with a materialist transfeminist framework that analyzes how our oppression is--while distinct--interlinked and stems from the same root.
I sincerely hope that whoever needs to see this post sees it, and that something productive--more productive dialogue, at least--can arise from it.
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