#if I think about Scary Stores but then soothe myself and then think about eating cupcakes

[the-trans-dragon]

Increases my Social Capacity stat by playing minigames (imagining I’m in a store and identifying what emotions it makes me feel and which sensory data I’m most apprehensive about, and then comforting my imagined self to reduce the chronic average panic I have felt about being in public)

[silencingspellsongs]

fuck it, caller time

aka i'm gonna ramble out ideas i've had of future audios i want from him and ppl can take them as writing prompts if they want or we can all work together to beam them psychically into erik's brain over the next 6 months

minors don't interact i get spicy in here oop 🔞 also tw dub-con content in here but if you're into the yandere caller character i feel like you can kind of expect that ‼️

i was originally planning on writing a fic with all these ideas in it but i don't have the time or the spoons for that and so instead of just rotating them in my mind forever and driving myself slowly insane i thought i would just throw them out into the ether because maybe they'll inspire someone else or make someone else insane too teehee 🤭

• sweetie gets home from a long day at work, they're exhausted. they don't have the energy to fuck with making dinner, maybe this is part of a pattern for them where they often neglect themself because they're too tired/it's easier to just go lay down and forget about responsibilities (is this me just working through my own mental health things? yes. yes it is.)

they're curled up on the couch and then there's a knock at the door or their doorbell rings. they get up and answer it and there's a pizza delivery Guy there who seems pretty unfazed by the confused look on their face. he's got an order for them, their usual order in fact, but they tell him they didn't order anything. he pulls out the receipt and double checks the address, tells them it was already paid for and everything. then he notices there's a note in the instructions on the receipt which he reads out to them. "it says 'for my sweetie, you had a long day, eat and get comfortable. i'll call you soon. xoxo"

oblivious to the way sweetie's entire body freezes up, Guy goes on to say something about how nice it is that they have such a caring partner, hands over their order and then leaves. sweetie's phone then starts to ring. they know better than to ignore it and when they answer, caller praises them. tells them to enjoy the food, talks to them about how it's a good thing he's here to take care of them. mentions how watching them neglect their own needs frustrates him but that's why he's here now.

i would imagine that this would maybe start out with that creep feeling of anxiety that his audios give but it does end up mellowing into something of a soothing stress relief type scenario. caller walking sweetie through some self care ideas: making sure they eat up, take a hot shower or a relaxing bubble bath afterwards, maybe they could even use a massage (here's where some spicy references would get thrown in, we all know this guy loses his mind thinking about touching sweetie 🥴) laid out on their bed, body still warm and damp from the water... smelling like their soap, his favorite smell now because it reminds him of them. his hands tracing over their back. firm but warm, digging into the knots in their shoulders. running over every inch of them... exploring, memorizing, claiming. he gets all breathy in that way of his but like always he backs it up. not yet, not tonight.

in the end they're left with the instructions of how to take care of themself the rest of the night and the promise that he's always here to make sure they do it. lots more creepy praise before the call ends.

• i need JEALOUSY. i need possessive, feral, pissed off jealous caller. i need that sort of shit that would make the people that complain about David's jealousy audio's heads explode. i need it to be mean and messy and ANGRY and growly and scary and i need it like oxygen in my lungs.

it could be someone from work, or maybe a neighbor in their apt complex, or maybe it's just some stranger at the grocery store. someone's caught sight of sweetie and is shooting their shot. i think for this scenario, the way i imagine it as an audio, sweetie would be on the phone with said person. some guy is talking them up over the phone, really laying it on thick but not super directly asking them out just yet. moreso laying the ground work for it but it's still pretty obvious he's looking to get into their pants but sweetie is... well sweetie's maybe a little oblivious or maybe they just don't have the self confidence to believe that this guy's actually into them. (we've gotten the idea from the other caller audios that sweetie definitely doesn't think highly of themself so that's where this characterization is coming from btw)

whatever the situation, the sound of another incoming call beeps over the phone (do cell phones even do that anymore? i don't ever call people so i don't know but it's fantasy ok we can just pretend ❤️) and sweetie knows what that "unknown caller" flashing on their screen means. they try to end the conversation with flirty guy but he doesn't take the hint, tries to keep them on the line. sweetie's too much of a pushover to just hang up on someone so they keep trying to walk this conversation to an end point and the call waiting beeping stops when they don't pick up.

big mistake.

and they know it's a big mistake when the call waiting beeping starts up again. and here's where some of the more strange caller audio things can start happening. we still don't know just what this guy is, stealth? demon? offshoot of echo? not sure exactly what kind of supernatural stuff is in his wheelhouse but dealer's choice on what starts to happen when he calls the second time. maybe the call with the flirty guy starts to break up, or hangs up all on its own. maybe sweetie starts to hear the thumps around their house again. whatever it is, it's obvious that the caller wants them to answer him.

sweetie finally picks up the call and oh boy. oh baby. ooooh it's not very nice. caller is furious. in the beginning it would seem that he's pissed at sweetie and they would react accordingly, being afraid of him as they still must be (even if by this point they started to mellow on him like he talks about wanting, how over time they would get used to him and not be so scared.) his tone is sharp and you can almost feel the anger radiating off him just through the sound of his voice when he tells sweetie to get on their bed. now.

caller is like barely holding it together but it quickly becomes obvious that his anger isn't directed at sweetie, he's ranting about the audacity of the other guy for thinking he could take them away from him. this could get many levels of unhinged, talking about hurting the other guy, talking about locking sweetie up away from anyone else who thinks they can have them, just basically all the most delicious yandere freak shit imaginable.

if my prayers were to come true, this scenario would be a spicy one. caller wanting to prove to sweetie that they belong to him. possessive, growly, jealous over-the-phone joi bonus audio. talks of marking them. claiming them. owning them. it's overwhelming but caller is never like explicitly pissed off at sweetie, mostly pissed they didn't just hang up on that other guy. caller is heavy on the praise as he watches them. yeah, this would probably be in the dub-con category given the relationship between caller and sweetie and i understand not everyone is down for that but also it's kind of baked into these two at the core and well ivan's whole thing was dub-con as hell and he got a bonus audio soooo don't like/don't interact and all that jazz.

anyways this ends with caller demanding sweetie to block that guy's number lol

• ok last one i have fleshed out is another kind of idk if nicer is the right word for it considering caller's whole thing but yeah ok it's like a nicer/softer one. something like the first scenario i had where it's moreso to help get sweetie comfortable with the caller, like he wants.

sweetie's asleep. having a nightmare. are we at all surprised if i say they're having a nightmare about the caller? not to keep harping back to ivan (i can't help it, i'm a yandere enjoyer and ivan scratched that itch so right, rip king i know you aren't dead but you're not possessed by a sadism demon anymore so it's basically the same thing 💔) but the vibes are similar to baby 2.0 having ivan nightmares. those sequences were always so good ugh i loved them.

anyways sweetie is having a Bad Time™, hell maybe the nightmare itself isn't centered around caller but maybe in the dream caller is acting as a savior to something else that's scaring them and that fact itself is a little terrifying to them. that's almost juicier, your tormentor becoming your salvation? mmmm

whatever the case, sweetie is pulled from the nightmare by a noise that wakes them up. big surprise, it's their phone ringing at god-only-knows o'clock in the still dark morning. and who else would it be but the person from their dream: their unknown caller.

he's... softer than normal. maybe his own voice has that sleep-gruff quality to it. he tells sweetie that they were thrashing around, must have been a nightmare. he didn't like seeing them distressed. he soothes them a bit, tells them to relax back into bed. maybe there's a glass of water on their bedside table that wasn't there when they first went to bed, ice still floating in it as if it was freshly placed before they woke up.

he talks for a while, letting the sound of his voice help them relax. at some point he asks what their nightmare was about. sweetie tries to deflect, or tries to lie about it hut his voice gets hard for a moment. reminds them of the rules. no lying. they relent and tell caller about it. if it was the dream where something else terrible was happening but caller saved them from it, he would be happy about that. he'd ask them why that made them upset. he's told them before, he'a here to make things better. he's going to fix things for them. sweetie's dream is proof of that, that they're starting to see him in that way.

this would definitely be a sleep aid type scenario. caller talking sweetie back to sleep. i can almost imagine it having that effect like in the first audio where the audio of the call itself has primarily been coming from one side, like if you were talking over the phone. at some point during this, sweetie has rolled over and the phone's pressed between their head and the pillow. their eyes are closed as they start to fall back asleep. then there's that sound of the breathing from the other side, not the huffing ragged breath designed for the creep factor in the first audio but a softer breathing. like sleeping next to a lover. and sweetie falls asleep.

haha ok anyways that was.... A Lot of typing 😅 like i said these are some scenario ideas i've had swimming around in my head over the last 6 months of relistening to the caller's first audio a frankly obscene and concerning amount of times. these ideas are open for anyone who wants to use them as inspiration or prompts, or for building off of in my DMs to make me short circuit lmao whatever tickles your fancy.

all i ask is that if these do inspire something in a fic writer out there that wants to write them, please please pleaaaase tag me so i can read it and go feral about it 🤪

also please other caller enjoyers talk to me this man is in my walls he's haunting me i need solidarity to survive the drought of however long it'll take for us to hear from him again 🥺🥺

[stillebesat]

Be My Dad

Sanders Sides: Janus, Logan  A Vague AU Writing Prompt: @wildhorsewolf​ asked: Guess I'm a parent now with Janus being the dad and Logan being the kid Blurb: Janus has no interest in being a parental figure to a kid, but trying to convince the universe of that is another thing entirely.  Fic Type: Familial Soulmate!AU Overall Fic Warnings: Mentions of Scars  Taglist in Reblog.

To most souls, a food court was a necessary evil. Loud. Lots of people. But plenty of food options all together in one place. Perfect for those who liked a variety of choices or those who had picky eaters in tow.

It was a place to meet up with friends, family, or business associates. A place where one could sit back and observe society at work. To see people at their best...and most definitely at their worst. 

There was something soothing about the chaos that Janus enjoyed...as a spectator. He could never imagine being right in the middle of it.

Not unless he was doing what he was doing right now. Trying to hide in plain sight in the middle of a crowd.

After all. He was thirty now. Single. Childless.

Obviously a menace to society in a universe that seemed obsessed with everyone being part of a ‘family.’ 

A Universe that had decreed that all adults who remained childless by the age of thirty, would then be subjected to being bombarded with children in need of a proper parent figure to bond with in their lives.

He exhaled, absently brushing against the raised scar on his cheek, barely looking up as a child burst out wailing nearby.

He’d checked earlier. That particular wailer hadn’t had the golden sparks. It meant he was safe. 

For now.

He ran a hand through his hair, flipping another page in his notebook before he continued scrawling on the page. Maybe Virgil had actually been onto something when he said he was vanishing into the wilderness of Europe for the rest of his life. 

Sure, Janus had laughed six months ago when his best friend had turned thirty and begun complaining about all the kids coming out of the woodwork to ask him to be their Dad.

It’d seemed impossible at the time. To have children want to come up to Mr. Shadows Incarnate and expect Virgil to put them to bed and tell a bedtime story.

Now though, he understood why Vee had become more reluctant to leave his house as the year had worn on. Because the mini spawns really had come out of nowhere once his own thirtieth birthday hit. 

And it was awful. 

Wherever he went, it was inevitable that some child would approach him, shimmering golden sparks floating around them indicating that they were looking for a Parent Bond. 

It was also as inevitable that he would scare them away just as quickly. 

After all, his halfmoon scar and creepy yellow eyes had caused plenty of kids to scream and run with a single look years before his thirtieth birthday. 

No, at least Virgil had a bit of that shy emo charm that made him more approachable, even if the merest appearance of anyone under four feet had his best friend going pale as a corpse and ducking out before the kid could take more than two steps towards him.

Privately he was certain Virgil would find a kid perfect for him before the year was out, despite his best friend’s attempt to avoid the inevitable.

He knew Virge would make a good dad. Compassionate. Protective. His best friend had a dozen other traits that would benefit him when the right child flared with him. 

Unlike Janus.

Who could make a grown man cry with less than four words and a glower.  

No. He couldn’t imagine having any child coming to him in the middle of the night expecting comfort. 

He knew he was intimidating.

He knew he could be scary.

It wouldn’t be fair to subject a child to that on a daily basis.

Honestly, it felt like a slap to the face that no matter how much he achieved, how many degrees he got, or businesses he owned, or careers he pursued, or money he made…

The universe felt that one couldn’t be complete unless said person also had a screaming, slobbering, dirty child in tow.

Janus ran a hand through his hair, again brushing the crescent scar on his cheek as he looked up long enough to watch a cluster of mothers with their dozen and a half children in strollers rush by, seeking salvation at the nearest set of golden arches with at least four of the kids already screaming for their happy meal toy. 

Even if he did make a connection with any kid brave enough to approach him...Janus could never imagine trying to coerce a screaming brat into eating their chicken nuggets all by himself. Could never stand to walk around with food, slobber or worse, vomit stains on his best suits like a badge of honor. Could never be patient enough to listen to the long and rambling and pointless stories he’d heard multiple parents suffer through while observing them here in the food court.

No. There was no way Janus would allow the universe a say in how he ran these next five years of his life.

He had goals.

Life plans.

And he didn’t need some interfering Being with an obviously unhealthy parent complex ruining that.

The scrapping of a chair being pulled back broke through the gentle hum the noise the chaos of the food court had receded to, causing Janus to look up from his paper in time to see a boy, wearing a faded black long sleeved shirt with matching glasses and thankfully older than the screaming toddler throwing french fries six tables over, plop down in the seat across from him.

A child. With golden sparks shimmering in the air around him. 

Oh goodie.

Janus barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. And here he’d thought that the fact that he’d caused a pair of twin girls, a baby, three boys, six preteens, and four other children under the age of five to scream in terror and/or burst into tears before the lunch rush had even started would have been enough for the universe to call it quits for the day on attempting a Parent Bond.

“I have a prospersition for you.” The boy said, making eye contact. Janus blinked, pen pausing mid stroke as he raised an eyebrow to the child. Prosper...prosper? Oh. “A prop-osition?” He asked, careful to pronounce the word correctly. 

The boy nodded once, pushing his glasses back up his nose. “Prop-osition” he repeated, saying it properly this time. “Will you listen to it? Please?” 

Oh, now there was a please? The kid hadn’t even said hello. Janus exhaled, running a hand through his hair, again fingering the raised scar on his cheek, eyes darting about without much hope for any sign of a frantic adult looking for their wayward offspring as he sat back, tapping his pen on the table. “I’m busy.”  

The boy’s eyes flashed. “No you’re not.”

Janus scoffed, gesturing to his papers. “I assure you that I a--”

“Are doing what you do every Friday. You’re not busy. You just sit here. All day. Reading. Writing.”  

Observant. Janus frowned, again glancing around for a guardian figure. He didn’t think children thought much beyond eating, sleeping, and playing with their peers. “That is considered being busy by most people, I don’t have time to tal--”  

The boy shifted to his knees, the golden sparks dancing around him as he carefully placed eight quarters on the table before pushing the pile over to him. “For your time.” He said, looking up to meet Jansus’s eyes once more.

Clever. Not quite the amount he usually took for a consultation, but he doubted a child could come up with that much cash. Still. It was the first time one of these golden sparked spawns of the devil decided to pay him instead of screaming bloody murder. 

Janus exhaled, laying down his pen, sitting up as he clasped his fingers together, resting his chin on them. “I’m listening.” Though he doubted anything good would come from this proposition. He could already predict the direction this would go.

The boy relaxed, though he stayed half kneeling on his chair. “I need you,” his mouth twisted slightly, grey eyes glittering. “to pretend to be my Father.” 

Father? Ha. Called it. “No.”

Golden sparks flared as the boy lifted his chin. “You didn’t even ask ‘Why.’”

He smirked, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach as he pushed the coins back. “I don’t need to.” It was obvious why the kid wanted to play pretend. After all, the sparks surrounding him were only visible to those like Janus. Single. Between the age of thirty and thirty-five. Childless. If the kid needed a fake dad...well this wasn’t his first rodeo with the concept. “You either need protection from some bullies, which--” He gestured to himself. “You think I look scary enough to intimidate them.” Though not scary enough to keep the kid from bugging him in the first place. “Or else you have lied to your friends about who your Dad is or what he does and so--”

“You’re wrong.”   

Janus cut off, tilting his head. “Am I?” He was certain he wasn’t. 

“You are.” The boy kept eye contact, grey blue eyes hard as stone. 

It would be an intimidating gaze once he grew older, Janus was sure. “Enlighten me.”

The boy pushed the coins back across the table. “The Aquarium is having a Father/Son day today. I want to go.” 

Not what he meant by enlighten, but he’d humor the kid. “So?”

The boy rolled his eyes, shifting to his knees so he could better rest his arms on the table. “I can’t exactly partisiis--partissee--par--” 

“Participate?”

He nodded. “I can’t exactly participate if I go by myself, dummy.”

Dummy? Who just helped the kid pronounce ‘participate?’ 

Janus shoved the quarters back to the boy before picking up his pen, tapping it against the table. He could see the kid’s problem though. It made sense why the aquarium wouldn’t want to let hordes of little demon spawn run around tapping on the glass, licking the floors, and breaking things unsupervised. “I’m not spending fifty dollars to play your Dad, kid, just so you can look at some fish.” 

A pet store would work just as well and wouldn’t cost a dime. If he was willing to go along with this.

Which he wasn’t.

He didn’t even like fish. Not since that stupid childhood fishing accident that had given him the lovely scar on his face in the first place.

No way would he willingly go along with some brat to a place filled to the brim with the creatures.

Despite how brilliant of a scheme it was. One Janus would have used himself though under different circumstances. 

Though he supposed, if he felt like admitting it, which he didn’t, but he still---it….hurt in a way, that the kid, even having the sparks, just wanted to use him to get in to see some boring fish instead of trying out a real Trial with him to see if they had any sort of parental bond. 

It was a stupid feeling. 

He should be used to being used. 

The boy adjusted his frames, barely blinking as he shoved the quarters back across the table, staring Janus down. “Adults get in for only ten dollars today. Kids get in free. If.” He emphasized the word. “Their Father brings them.” He shifted in his seat, pulling out a twenty and slid it across the table. “For your ticket.” He said simply, eyes flashing. “I’m only asking for your time. I don’t want to go on a Trial with you. I don’t need or want a Dad. I just need an adult with the time on his hands to pretend to be one and let me esplore the place for two measlely hours.”

Double ouch. At least some kids attempted to do an actual Trial Run with him to see if their sparks would Flare before being so blunt in telling him he wouldn’t be their Dad. 

Janus frowned, already shaking his head. “Kid, I don’t--” 

The boy pulled out another twenty, placing it on the table. “Two hours.” He said simply.  

“You don’t even know me--” Sure, he knew the boy knew he was in the Trial stage of life since the stupid floating sparks thing, even if he couldn’t see his own, went both ways. But that didn’t mean that he should just shove--

The boy placed a third twenty on the table. 

Janus exhaled, running a hand through his hair, again fingering his scar as he glared at the child. “You’re seriously bribing me? Where did you even get that much cash?” Hopefully it wasn’t stolen, but he’d applaud the boy for being so prolific in his thievery. 

“Not important.” The boy stated, pulling out a fourth twenty without breaking eye contact. 

Why was he being so persistent?! Any other child would have run away by now. 

“Why me?” He demanded, leaning forward, sneering in a way he knew made his eyes look even more creepy. “Why not bribe some other--”

The boy hesitated, a fifth twenty already in his fingers as his steely gazed wavered. “If I tell you why, will you go with me to the Aquarium?” 

That was hardly a fair exchange. The answer could be super simple and he’d be stuck with the kid for two hours. “I’m going to stick with my ‘I’m scary theory,’” Janus said instead, gesturing to his face. That was the usual reason kids gave in most circumstances. 

The boy frowned, lifting his chin. “I can be scary enough on my own without your help.” He said shoving the sleeve of his shirt up, revealing an angry red corded scar that wrapped around his arm from wrist to shoulder. “We match, kinda. Your scar looks similar. Makes it easier to pretend that you’re my Dad. That we were in the same accident.” He pushed the pile of money towards him. “And if anyone suspects you aren’t my birth father, then the sparks will show them that we’re on a Trial and that our scars mean we’re meant to be.” 

Meant to be. 

It took a lot of effort to not touch the crescent mark on his cheek. To ignore the fluttering in his chest at those words.

They’re just pretty little lies. 

Sure, there were ongoing theories that families all shared a similar trait that marked them. Whether that was having a mole on the same part of their stomach, sharing a taste in mustard, having an allergy to hay, hair having the same cowlick, or having similar looking scars--Janus kept his hands firmly on the table as he pulled his eyes back up to meet the kids. 

It was hearsay though. Nothing had ever been proven. Not when the sparks flaring between parent and child was a far more accurate indicator that they were meant to be a family. 

No, he highly doubted anyone would Flare with him during this five year tortrue period. Not even this kid despite the sparks dancing between them. 

Janus took a steadying breath. It was fine. He didn’t need a family. Not even a pretend one for two hours. He was better off alone now that Virgil had harred off to who knew where. “How long do I have to wait before you run out of twenties and give up?” He said, keeping his voice cool. “Because I’m not taking your bribe, kid, regardless of the amount. You’d be better off hiring a nanny or something.” 

Though he was curious just how much the boy thought it would take to convince him to go along with this farce. 

The kid made a face. “I don’t want to be coddled the entire time.” He snapped, the fifth twenty vanishing as he shoved his sleeve down. “All anyone ever does is treat me like I’m breakable since--” he gestured to his arm, the scars once more hidden. “And I’m sick of it. You look like you’d happily let me fall off a bridge if I wasn’t careful and I just...I just--” He shook his head. “I need to not be cared about for a bit.” 

Let him fall off a bridge? Ouch. Janus focused on relaxing his clenched hands, one finger at a time. “So you have a death wish? I’m not gonna be complacent to--”

The boy growled, slamming his hands on the table, steel grey eyes hardening even as they shimmered with unshed tears. “No. I just want to look at the fish.” He hissed. “I want to esplore. Learn. SEE. Without having a grown-up hovering over me like I’m freaking china. All you would have to do is stay near enough to keep any other metaling adults away. That’s all I want. For two hours. To be treated like a normal kid.” His hand clenched as he took a breath, bottom lip trembling. “I thought you of all people would understand that.” He whispered, eyes flickering to the scar and back.

It took a lot of effort to not touch his face. To maintain eye contact. 

Sure.

He understood. 

Janus had wasted years chasing that particular dream throughout high school and well into his first couple of years at college. 

It had all been for nothing. 

People judged the book by the cover. Few ever took the time to look deeper. 

And it sucked that Janus was being forced to reckon with the fact that if he didn’t go with this kid and pretend to be his Dad, he’d be like every other adult unwilling to give the boy a chance to be ‘normal.’  

…Great. Just. Great.  

He’d just been guilted into spending two hours looking at the fish. 

Janus broke eye contact, cursing under his breath as he shoved his papers into his book bag and stood, grabbing his jacket and hat off the chair. 

Maybe he should follow Virgil’s lead and disappear into the wilderness for the next four and a half years if the kids were going to start pulling this type of act on him. 

“You got a name, kid?” He asked, fishing out a single twenty from the stack before shoving the pile back at the boy. Enough for the ticket. That’s it. 

The boy caught his breath, eyes going wide. “You mean--”

How could eyes hard as steel one second go so soft like freshly fallen ash the next?

You know what. He didn’t want to know. If the kid knew how to do puppy dog eyes, then he knew how. That was that, but after today Janus would not be falling for them again.

“Name.” He repeated, impatiently gesturing for the boy to follow him as he tugged his hat down over his eyes. “Else I’ll make one up and I guarantee you will not like it.” 

The boy was by his side in a flash, golden sparks swirling. “Logan.” He said, adjusting his glasses with a small smile. “My name is Logan.”

[multiyandereimagines]

How about the yandere!BAU handling your anger issues? maybe you snap at someone or hit out?? During a case or whenever???

ooh i like this one, thank you for requesting. ❤️

[yandere bau x gender neutral reader]

(once again, based on the older team)

[Aaron Hotchner]

he doesn’t get mad at you when you snap at him, you’ve been pretty emotional about this case and he completely understands that.

“GOD! HOTCH I CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT I’M FUCKING DONE!!” you yelled out, kicking the wall almost breaking it.

“honey calm down, nothing good is going to come out of this, especially when your tense.” hotch said calmly as he walked up to you to give you a comforting hug.

you ended up sobbing, “i’m sorry hotch... i don’t know what got into me..” hotch shushes you and pulls you closer into his chest, calming you down. “i know you don’t want to hear this but you’re stepping out of this case, end of discussion.” you sighed but nodded.

he never wanted to let you go, scared that you’ll break down again and because he never wants you out of his sight.

[Spencer Reid]

he’s a soft boy so he wouldn’t really know what to do, he’d probably just freak out which will make the whole thing so much worse.

“Y/N, LOVE! STOP YELLING, PLEASE!” he shouts at you, “DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO JUST BECAUSE YOUR SMART DOESN’T MEAN I HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU!!”

you never make any sense when you have your outbursts so spencer just stands there hoping you’d calm down on your own.

and when you don’t he will sit next to you and slowly put his hand on your thigh, he softly says “do you want to listen to me ramble on about stupid facts that don’t matter at all.” you looked at him and his goofy grin and you suddenly burst into laughter, you nodded and rest your pounding head on his shoulder, listening to his statistics and useless facts.

you’d get so bored that you eventually fall asleep, once he realizes he carries you to the bed and kisses your head, “i can’t believe i have you all to myself y/n.. i’m the luckiest person in the world.” he’d cuddle you to death afterwards.

[Derek Morgan]

he’s kinda hot headed too so it’s not really a good mix.

you rip up all your papers that you still needed to work on but you didn’t care, the anger building up inside you is starting to take control.

derek notices this and says, “baby whats the matter?”

you let out a forced laugh, “my stupid boss expects me to get all this done, god! i fucking hate his guts!” you cursed aggressively making derek’s eyes widen. “woah.. okay... why don’t you calm down now and you can have a talk with your boss-“

“HE DOESN’T LISTEN TO ME HE’S A FUCKING JERK HE HATES ME AND I DON’T KNOW WHY-“ “HEY CALM DOWN!” derek yells making you shut up but the anger is still there with you. “i’ll take care of your boss you go relax and i’ll run you a nice bath, trust me your boss will pay for this.” derek started to get all scary making you snort out.

“der, come on now..” when you saw the serious look on his face your whole face dropped, “oh.. your serious.” derek nodded, “well i honestly hope you do, i can’t take him anymore.” you sighed as you walk up to him a peck his lips, derek’s face immediately lightens up, “i will don’t worry babe, let’s go run that bath of yours.” he smirks.

yeah let’s just say your boss got a taste of his own medicine, derek doesn’t joke around when it comes to protecting and giving you what you want.

[David Rossi]

you two have been married for the longest time so he’s already been used to this.

he’d be all prepared, making some tea, putting on your comfort movie, and fixing you some snacks.

if that somehow doesn’t work than he’ll most likely make you be quiet and force you to listen to some soothing music and that would be all it takes for you to ignore the anger that you held in. rossi knows you so well, anything he’d do would certainly work one way or another, and he also loves forcing you to do things and taking control of you. ;)

[Emily Prentiss]

she wouldn’t be fazed by your yelling, honestly i think she’d giggle at you. she finds you incredibly sexy when you get mad and that usually makes you either get more angry or make you stop completely.

she’d tease you about how you should yell more often and that it’s like music to her ears, it makes you go all flustered and forget your anger. she’s kind of a brat tamer so she’s an expert on keeping you in your place.

it leads to steamy make out sessions but yes she definitely knows how to get the devil out of you, whether it’d be forcibly or consentually.

[Jennifer Jareau]

you two have a kid that gets frustrated so kind of like emily she knows how to put you in your place.

“are you gonna be a bad girl/boy and keep throwing your fit or are you going to shut up and eat dinner with me and henry?”

she uses henry as a way to calm you down since you’d never want henry to see you in your frustrated state, so you always give in, every single time.

jj would always say that she’s proud of you afterwards which makes you feel all better, you two would just lay in bed spooning each other while she thinks in her head that she should dominate you more often.

[Penelope Garcia]

just like reid she’s completely soft, especially with you so she’d run to the grocery store and buy some ice cream and candy hoping it will do the job, and it does!

you see penelope with a tub of your favorite ice cream and your favorite treats, you smile at her and suffocate her in a hug. you’d eat almost the entire thing while penelope tells you how much she adores you. seeing your puffy cheeks that are full of ice cream and your cute face brings her so much joy.

“gah, i’m so lucky to have you! all mine princess, all mine...” she smiled widely.

“i’m really loving this ice cream, penny.”

[sweeethinny]

I did it a while ago, and I don't know if there are mistakes because I'm late to leave but I want to post this

sorry for the mistakes

:)

-------------

Harry really thought that after becoming a father he had gained auditory powers, especially after that night.

Everything was fine, all five Potter were asleep and the house was in pitch-black at dawn, when he heard little feet that shouldn't be out of bed, drumming on the floor. Noticing that his wife was still asleep, after breastfeeding little Lily, Harry got up calmly and walked out of the room, already knowing the way by heart so he wouldn't have to wear glasses.

Albus' room was quiet, so he went directly to James's, which was a to alert; James slept through the night after he was big, rarely had nightmares or was sleepwalking.

''Daddy. '' The boy whimpered when he opened the door, finding him standing in the middle of the room, possibly to go and meet his parents.

He didn't even have time to ask what had happened before his eldest son vomited on the floor, making Harry really wake up.

"Damn it James." Harry didn't care about the dirt, picking up the five-year-old boy in his lap, taking him to the bathroom quickly, where another wave of vomit came, this time, into the toilet.

''Sorry.'' His sobbing cry came out loudly, and Harry stroked the boy's hair, trying to calm him down.

''What happened?'' Ginny seemed to have seen a ghost, looking at her husband and son crouched in front of the toilet, while James cried against his dad's chest.

''He woke up throwing up.'' Harry tried not to care about the tremor that ran through his body, nervousness catching him off guard ''Okay, Jamie. Put it out if you need.'' And as if predicting, the boy vomited again.

''Holy shit. Spoiled food?'' Ginny had wide brown eyes, also seeming to feel Harry's tremors.

It wasn't the first time that they faced it, obviously, but it was always a little scary, especially when it came out of nowhere, without a flu or fever.

''But shouldn't we all be bad?'' Harry said, as James vomited again. ''Are you in pain, Jamie?'' Ginny opened the cupboard next to the sink mirror, looking for a potion.

''No. '' Whined ''Sorry for the mess, Dad, I tried to hold on'' Harry felt his heart squeeze and hugged the boy tighter, stroking his dark hair

''All right, dear, Dad doesn't care, then we clean that up. Don't hold back, if you need to, throw up.''

''Here, take honey, it'll pass, I promise'' Ginny offered a small glass with a purple liquid inside, spilling herself into her son's mouth, while Harry still held him

''Eww'' She nodded

''I know, but it will make the pain go''

''Let's take a shower, mate, I'm going with you'' Harry hadn't done that to James in a while, but he didn't care so much now. He took off his dirty clothes, and the child's, then carried him under the spray.

Washing it and assured that James was already calmer, the two got out of the bath, with no more smell of vomit around the house or remnants of themselves.

''Albus and Lily are fine ... I think he better sleep with us'' Ginny picked the child up, putting his pajamas apart and smiling ''Want to sleep with us, Jamie?''

''I'm a big boy now'' He commented as he laid his head on his mother's chest, hugging her waist as he settled under his parents' covers

''Something must have done wrong'' Harry said lying down too, hugging his son among them who already seemed half asleep, not paying much attention to 'being a big boy'.

''I don't like it when they look like this'' James snuggled closer to his mother, like when he was a baby, getting a pat on the hair

''Neither do I'' He kissed his son's fragrant hair

''Better have a bucket nearby'' She summoned the object,, leaving it on her side of the bed ''Caution.''

And she was right, it was better to have a bucket close by when the boy woke up throwing the potion, the noise of longing waking Harry and Ginny a second earlier, making his mother take the bucket and position it for James.

The rest of the night Harry stayed awake, worried that his son would drown if he vomited in his sleep, trying to figure out what would have triggered it, helping Ginny when Lily woke up and asked for her mother's chest. In the end, it was six in the morning and he had barely gotten three hours of sleep.

"If he gets sick ..."

'' ..I know, I'll call you, don't worry'' She kissed his lips, Harry was about to leave for work, even though he didn't want to, his son still sleeping on his side of the bed, sprawled as usual ''I'll talk to my mom to see if there's anything we can do'' He looked at his son again, feeling his heart sink ''He'll be fine, it could just be a virus''

''I wanted to take the pain for myself '' He sighed ''Call me anything, I drop everything for some other idiot to do'' She laughed

''I know you don't think your aurors are stupid '' One more quick kiss ''But I'll call. We'll be fine ''

Obviously the plan backfired, since less than five hours later, while Harry was irritated by even the air particle, he was warned that his wife had called him out because of a family problem.

'' Take care of it all and tomorrow we see what to do. I have to go '' And he apparated, thinking that the flu would take too long and every second was valid, his heart already nervous.

'' Daddy! '' Albus jumped on his legs, hugging him tightly '' Jamie is bad '' He spoke half-curled up, blinking green eyes in his direction

"Hi my love" "He lifted the child on his waist" "Where is he?"

'' Here! '' Following his wife's voice, he went to the bathroom, again seeing his son crouched and pale in front of the vase, vomiting what appeared to be just his gastric juice '' No improvement since ten '' Harry until could talk about her taking an hour to call him but he was so worried he ignored

'' What did your mother say? '' Albus grimaced when his brother threw up again, hiding his face in his father's neck

"That may be something you want"

'' Can you remember anything? '' Ginny hugged her son as he hid his head in his chest, kissing his sweaty hair

''Nothing. I already asked and doesn't say anything either '' A meow of Lily appeared, seeming to wake up from her nap

'' I see her, I'll try to remember something ''

"Jamie be okay?" Harry laughed nasally at his son trying to speak, finding his concern cute.

"Yes Al .. Hi Lils, how did we wake up?"

The hours passed with them taking turns to care for the sick child, trying to get him to eat at least one soup, forcing him to drink water and hydration potions, then running to the bathroom while the son threw everything out

Harry tried to remember the days before and if there was anything James could have wanted. And like a flash from a patron, his mind popped, making him think he was a big idiot for not thinking about it.

''I'll be right back. Two minutes '' he warned before disappearing into the flu, his wife putting Al and Lils to bathe, while James continued on her waist as if he were a needy baby.

A few days ago, while he was walking with James and Albus, Harry passed in front of a muggle toy store, loaded with teddy bears everywhere, dolls, puzzles, and other things that made the older child jump of joy, different from the youngest, who cried nervously when he saw one of the bears moving alone, waving at him and winking robotically

Harry, not wanting to cause trauma to his three-year-old son, soothed James about them going back there the other day to buy what he liked from the window, but with three kids (one of them, barely turning a year old), Robbers wanting to leave and leave him in charge, and Ginny getting away from the Harpies completely, things got a mess and he forgot to take his son back to the store.

Smiling at the attendant and asking for the cart that was still in the window - The last one! - he returned to the house, carrying the yellow package and feeling terrible for that being the reason James kept throwing up since dawn (he expected)

'' Where is he? '' Ginny was lying on the couch, Albus and Lily playing on the living room floor together, while the boy tried to make her understand why the castle was not built that way.

'' Up there sleeping ... What was it? '' She pointed to the package

'' A muggle toy '' He smiled sadly '' I can't believe I didn't remember '' he threw himself on the couch next to her, the children in front of they oblivious to their parents

'' Don't blame yourself, Harry '' He pulled on his hair, denying and closing his tired eyes

"I had promised, Gin"

'' But you didn't remember. It wasn't because you didn't want to give it to him. '' As if he knew they were talking about him, James came down the stairs, dragging his favorite blanket, his eyes tired and small, without the mischievous glow that usually roamed the brown irises

"Are you all right?" They looked worriedly at the boy who crawled to the sofa, lying on his mother's lap

'' I didn't want to be alone '' James didn't even seem to notice the package next to his father, closing his eyes and covering himself up to his neck, looking small and fragile. Harry wanted to throw himself off a bridge.

"I have something for you, Jamie," he whispered as if it were a secret, kissing his warm forehead.

'' What is it? '' As a curious child, albeit sick, he opened his eyes, finally focusing on the package

"I'm sorry I forgot, son." He smiled sadly, handing over the stupid cart that had caused all that confusion.

Albus finally seemed to see the package, turning curious and wanting to see it too, Lily finding the color more than incredible, trying to get up to pick it up

"Wow, it's that cart" "As if it were the best potion in the world, the color returned the child's cheeks, at least a little while, while he took the toy out of the box "Grandpa will find it cool, he has remote control" He smiled at his mother, big eyes blinking excitedly 

'' I'm sure he'll love playing with you, darling '' Ginny smiled warmly '' See, he didn't even care that you forgot '' She whispered to her husband, who looked a little dejected at the three children now on the floor, James looking live again as  put the pieces together, Albus looking absurdly at the toy and Lily kneading and unmasking the package, loving the noise.

'' Tell that to his stomach, who puked up his guts ''

'' Thanks dad '' The son hugged the man, still a little warm and yellow, but much less gray than before

'' I love you, Jamie '' He gave the boy a kiss '' Want some help with riding? It looks like hard work, the track is quite extensive. ''

"Yes, come here"

[...]

'' Stop thinking about it, Harry '' Ginny hugged her waist, laying her head on his back, kissing her bare shoulder blades '' You are a good father ''

'' He spent almost a whole day throwing up, Gin. Because of a damn toy '' He spoke a little irritated to himself

"But in the end he won, and he is better, he managed to eat, he no longer has a fever, he did not vomit anymore ..."

"I don't want him to think I'm a liar"

'' He doesn't think ... he was sad to think that you were angry that he was vomiting. I said you were just worried '' He sighed, his throat closing '' It's our first child, we're still learning how to do things, it doesn't cover that much. I also make mistakes ''

"Yeah, I think you're right ... Doesn't he hate me then?"

'' You know you don't ''

For a second Harry remembered when he asked Santa for a cart similar to what James wanted, but he only received coals since he had been a bad boy. He wondered if his son had felt the same disappointment as he did, and it made him sadder.

'' Harry ... look at me '' As she did with the kids, she turned him around, fixing her eyes on him '' I couldn't have chosen a better father for the kids, or a husband for me, you didn't do it on purpose , and James is not going to hate you for that. I don't think he even remembered it was the cart ... I know you promised, but, you kept it. A little late, but okay '' She smiled in that way that made him smile together, feeling loved

'' I love you '' kissed her affectionately '' It's just sad to see he that way '' He looked so much like himself, Harry thought

'' He's already over it. He even fought with Albus when he dropped the control '' She laughed weakly, playing with her husband's hair '' I love you too Harry .. Ah, I forgot, yesterday afternoon, they made a drawing for you, James wanted to deliver you but forgot it and well .. today was not a good day '' Ginny started searching the dresser drawers, pulling out a folded paper carefully '' Even I participated ''

There were several drawings and doodles of different colors, there were hearts, the name of each one written on the parchment in a disorderly way, a golden snitch, even flowers. And in ink, there were three small hands, signed - in the letter of the eldest son - the name of each one below.

'For the best father in the world'

It was written in what he thought was a heart (maybe Albus had done it)

Harry swallowed his tears, looking closely at each scratch as if it were a beautiful work of art.

'' We won't be perfect parents, but it looks like we're doing well '' Ginny laughed, looking at the paper too '' I got one too, but there were a lot more paints and less words ''

The man laughed too, thinking that yes, maybe they were doing well after all

[eddieismypimp]

Snuck in

Summary: You and Oscar go on a really cute date and have a wonderful day. Then y'all come home and find out that your daughter snuck her boyfriend in while yall were gone and the whole vibe is ruined. Warnings:  DRAMATIC ASF FOR NO REASON, cussing, a little violence but its not terrible, also, this story is gonna be kind of long because I can't control myself when it comes to writing and it takes me nine years to settle on an ending. A/N (PLEASE READ): before I start the story I just wanna say, in NO way do I condone violence, this story idea has been in my head for a while and I have no idea why but I needed to write it. I'm scared to post this because it's absolute trash and I have anxiety. If you dont like this type of story I am truly very sorry. Also, thank you for the people that are supporting me and liking my stuff. You guys are wonderful and I hope you have a great, non-boring quarantine. <3 p.s. please don't bash me, I'm not the best writer.

I was laying on my bed, scrolling through insta when my husband walked into the bedroom. "Hi baby." I said smiling up at him. "Hi beautiful." He got on the bed and started kissing my face. "You should get ready soon hermosa." He said kissing my neck. " I have plans for us today." "Aw really? What are we doing?" I asked with a smile. "That's a surpirse, dress comfortable though." He said smiling and getting up walking back out the room. I smiled to myself. He's literally so cute. Everyone thinks he's so tough but hes the biggest teddy bear. He's my squishy. I giggled at that thought. I really hope its a date. We haven't went on a proper date in like two years and I was DYING for some romance. I went to me and Oscar's shared closet. I rummaged through it for about 15 minutes before I just decided on a black floral dress that was flowy and comfortable. I walked to the bathroom and decided to take a quick shower.    -Time skip because I'm fucking lazy- After I got out of the shower, I brushed my teeth, moisturized my hair, put lotion on and all that good stuff before I got dressed. When I was finished with all of that, I slipped on some black sandals to finish the look. I grabbed my phone and my little purse and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Oscar and Cesar were sitting at the table talking. Oscar had a mean look on his face as usual but when he saw me he smiled. I smiled back. I got my glass of water and walked towards the table to take a seat. As soon as I sat down, our daughter Mariposa walked in. (side note, I'm sorry if anyone has this name or has used this name or something I just think its beautiful) " Hi mami, hi papi" She said kissing me and Oscar's cheek. "Hi my baby." I said smiling at her. "Hi princesa." Oscar said to her before going back to talking to her tio. She came over to me. "Mama, when are you and papa leaving?" She asked me. "I'm not sure my darling" I asked her. "Why?" "You got plans or something?" Oscar chimed in. She looked at him. "No papi." She said a little to quickly which was a little suspicous but I brushed it off. He looked at her with one eyebrow raised. "I'm just gonna miss you guys thats all." She said with a pout. I absolutely melted. Even tho she's fifteen, she's still my little baby. "Awww." I said pulling her into a hug and kissing her forehead. Oscar chcukled. "We'll be back soon mi corazon. And when we come back, we can watch movies and eat snacks." He said standing up to kiss her forehead. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up off the chair. "You ready hermosa?" He asked me. "Yes," I said smiling. "Bye baby." I said to my daughter kissing her head. "Bye guys, be careful and have fun." She waved at us. Me and Oscar got in his car. "We're gonna gave a great day baby , are you ready for this?" He asked looking at me. "I was born ready." We both laughed.  "So, where are we going? I asked him. "That's a surprise baby." He said as he started driving to an unknown location. I shook my head and giggled.  -another time skip - We pulled up to some place that looked like a flower shop. I looked at Oscar with a smile, he knew I loved flowers. He got out of the car and I followed. He grabbed my hand and we walked in. The workers greeted us as I looked at all the pretty flowers. "Come on hermosa" Oscar said pulling me towards a door that lead to the back of the store. "I want you to see something." I just allowed him to pull me desperate to see what he wanted to show me. He opened the door and I was in absolute SHOCK!  My jaw dropped. It was so pretty. There was a little table with two chairs, some candles, and two silver platters covered up. There was a huge umberella covering the table with fairy lights hanging off of it above us. In the background there was a huge feild filled with a plethora of flowers. It was absolutley breathtaking. "Do you like it?" He asked me looking at me with hopeful eyes. I started tearing up. "Oh mamita don't cry." he said taking my face in his hands and kissing my cheek. "You set all this up" I asked "For me?" "Of course I did baby" He said "You're my world and I would do anything for you." "This is so perfect Oscar" I said wrapping my arms around him and burying my face in his chest. "It's beautiful." "Anything for you baby" He said grabbing my hand and kissing it. "Let's go sit down." He pulled me towards the table and pulled my chair out for me. I sat down and he pushed the chair towards the table  little. Then he sat down opposite of me. "This is amazing Oscar." I said with a smile. He just smiled back at me. -ANOTHER time skip, dont hate me- After we finished eating our dinner and talking, we decided to go on a walk through the feilds and pick some flowers. He took some pictures of me and I took some pictures of him. It was truly an amzaing day. We started the walk back to the car. "Oscar... thank you for today. It was truly amazing and I'm glad I have you in my life. I said grabbing his hands and looking in his eyes. "I'm glad I have you too baby, I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you or Mariposa." He kissed me. We got in the car and I put my head on his shoulder while he drove home.   -at home- We got out of the car hand in hand. Happy about how today turned out. I dont know about Oscar but I was ready to cuddle with my loves and watch disney movies. We walked in and Oscar let go of my hand almsot immediately. I gasped. We both froze. My daughter was on some guys lap and they were making out. I looked at Oscar because I knew he was about to flip. The guy pushed Mariposa off of him and onto the couch. Mariposa looked actually petrified. I was very upset. Before I could even react, Oscar charged at the poor boy and started punvhing him. I ran over. Mariposa was begging him to stop. "Oscar, oscar please stop." I said trying to grab his arm. He pushed my arms away and continued to hit the boy. "Oscar!" I yelled one last time and he finally stopped. Oscar was livid, Mariposa was crying, I was freaked out, and that poor boy was bloodied and bruised. "Oscar, oscar come on" I said grabbing his face in my hands. "Look at me, it's gonna be okay, I promise." I tried to reason with him but he was still mad. He looked at the boy who was trying to pick himself up off the floor with Mariposa's help. "Get him the fuck out of my house." He said through clenched teeth. The boy finally got up off the floor and walked out the door. Oscar looked at Mariposa who was just standing there crying. "Give me your phone and go to your room. He said with a stern look. "You're grounded from now for til college." (if you get this ily) She handed him her phone and went to her room. "Oscar... I get you're mad baby and I'm VERY upset myself but you didn't have to beat him up like that right in front of her...." I said caressing his cheeks. "My poor baby was terrified oscar." I frowned. "She disrespected me y/n. She disrespected both of us.." He paused. "I can't just let that shit slide because then she'll think that she can get away with anything." "I totally get that oscar, I'm her parent too and I know she needs discipline", "but I'm just saying that was a lttle extreme..." "I know.... I couldn't control myself" He said looking down at his brusied and bloody knuckles. "It's okay baby." I took his hands in mine careful not to hurt him. "Go wait for me in bathroom" "I'm gonna go talk to Mariposa and then I'll come clean you up." I said kissing his cheek. He walked to the bathroom as I walked to my daughters room. I heard her crying. I knocked. "Posie, it's just me baby." I said opening her door. She had her face in her pillows crying. "Aww come here my baby." I said sitting down on her bed and bringing her into my arms. "I hate him mama." She cried. "Now now, don't say that. Your papa only wants whats best for you" I said as I rubbed her head to try and soothe her. "I know, what just happened was very scary and traumatizing for you but you have to understand that you are still your papa's little girl even if you are growing up" I said pouting. "You know your father would do anything to protect you and seeing you with that boy really freaked him out and brought him to the reality that you're getting older.....You can't be mad at him for loving you baby" I said putting my hands on her cheeks." Don't get me wrong, I am very upset and disappointed too but I understand. I did the same thing with your dad when I was your age, I just didnt get caught" I said. She giggled at that. I smiled. "Theres my happy girl" I said as I kissed the top of her head. "Now, I want you to go apologize to your dad." She nodded her head. "Okay mama." "You're still grounded though." I said standing up and following her out of her bedroom. She slowly stalked to bathroom where Oscar was. She peaked her head in. Oscar was looking at his hands. "Papa..." Her voice was barely a whisper and I don't even know how Oscar heard her. He looked up at her. She started tearing up again. "I'm really sorry.." She said full on crying now. Oscar sighed. "Come here bebita." Oscar said motioning to go over to him with his hand. She sowly walked over to him and immediately fell into his embrace. "I'm sorry I freaked out like that princesa. He said rubbing her head. "You're my little girl, and seeing you with that boy.. something inside me snapped." "I understand papi...I'm really sorry I did that and I promise I'll never do it again." she said looking up at him. "It's okay baby...now go to your room, me and your mama will make dinner for you." He said kissing her temple. "Okay, papa" She said walking over to me. She gave me a hug. "I love you mama." "I love you too baby."                                                              the end.

[herohotline]

Wet Clay (P.2)

Shouta Aizawa x Reader

Summary: You finally have your first session when Uraraka comes by your office. Things are steadily flowing in your job now, and you learn a little more about Aizawa as you talk with his students. 

Word Count: 5,000+

Part One | Part Three | Part Four

The first thing you added to your office was a tall bamboo plant- your sister gave it to you a while ago and you never thought it did very well in your house. Then you brought a few carpets, and then some lamps to create a better atmosphere. You even got some candles to sit on top of the miniature bookcase you hauled in with Ectoplasm’s help. After that, you started to bring in the items that were mainly for stimulation: squishy balls, clay, water beads… 

You always liked playing with them yourself whenever your patients left and you were alone. 

Besides introducing yourself to the 1-B class, you haven’t done much in U.A. You were beginning to feel a little restless, but you knew you had to give the students some time before they came to you. 

For now, it was just… boring. 

Today is Wednesday, so it’s officially been a week and two days since you were hired. Nezu came by at one point to admire the progress in your office, but you were ashamed to admit to him that the progress ended there. He didn’t seem surprised, though, so at least you weren’t in trouble with your boss. 

It was strange thinking of a little insanely smart mouse-bear as your boss, but that’s what the world is now. 

But, finally, something happens. You’re sitting at your desk and wondering what you’ll eat for lunch today when there’s 3 quiet knocks on your door. It surprises you so much you almost yell out- but you keep yourself quiet as you rush over to the door. Is it a student?

Opening your office, you see a familiar brunette with pink cheeks. “Oh, uh… Uraraka, was it?”

The girl smiles as she places her hands together. “Yes! I’m glad you remembered!” 

“Me too,” you laugh, opening your door a bit wider. “Would you like to come in?”

“Ah… yes please.” She bows her head respectfully as she enters, and then lights up again when she looks around. “It looks really nice in here!” 

Closing the door, you head over to one of the plush seats and sit on the edge. She slowly does the same thing, sitting on the couch instead. “Thank you, I worked hard to make it homey here. May I ask why you came to me today?” 

Uraraka lets out a nervous breath, still smiling as she fidgets in her seat. “Honestly, I just wanted to see what this was like… I know everyone’s pretty wary to come, and I wanted to see for myself.” 

Ah, that makes sense. You tried hard to make a good impression the first day, but teenager’s trust isn’t gained so easily. 

“Well, I appreciate you coming to me, Uraraka. You’ll see that I’m not very scary, I just want to help you have a shoulder to lean on. But we don’t have to talk if you’re uncomfortable.” 

“I… want to try,” she says. You admire her for her bravery and you silently lean back in your seat, giving her time to think of what she wants to say. With the look on her face, you can tell she’s trying to concentrate and you don’t want to break it. “...Sometimes I feel a little selfish.” 

She stops there, so you take that as your cue. “Why do you think that?” 

Her hands fidget in her lap nervously, wringing her skirt. “I want to become a hero to help my family. I want to make money so they don’t have to work as hard, but… becoming a hero for my own needs seems…” 

“Selfish,” you finish for her and she nods her head. You take a minute to think before reaching under your coffee table, pulling out your basket of goodies and setting it on top. “You can use any of these if you're nervous. I personally like the jumble ones, they act like knots,” you grab one of the toys and use it yourself. 

Uraraka hesitates, but eventually, she grabs one of the balls and gives it a firm squeeze. 

“Uraraka, you’re not selfish. You’re selfless. You love your family and you’ve decided to become their hero. Loving your family and wanting to take care of them doesn’t make you selfish- it makes you kind.” 

Your voice comes out low and soothing, the way you find it best to talk when you’re dealing with unconfident people. She looks up at you nervously, still squeezing the ball in her hand. “Are you sure?” She asks and you give her your best smile. 

“Very. Your parents are very lucky to have a thoughtful daughter like you, and I’m sure they know it, too.” 

Uraraka seems to lighten up, just a little bit. 

——

You and Uraraka continue to talk for around half an hour before she notices it’s time for lunch and she doesn’t want to miss it. You write her a slip in case she’s late to anything- and then you notice how she’s still squeezing the ball. 

“I have one more question for you before you go, Uraraka.” You stand up and she follows you. “Does squeezing that bring you comfort at all?” 

She looks down at the toy with wide eyes, her cheeks a little more pink than usual. “O-oh! I didn’t notice I still had it… I guess it does.” 

“Then you should keep it,” you suggest and she wildly shakes her head. 

“I- I couldn’t! This is yours!” 

“Don’t worry,” you smile at her and walk to your office door, opening it widely. “I have plenty. If it makes you happy when you’re anxious, I want you to have it. That’s what it’s meant for.” 

“Y-you’re sure?” She keeps looking at you unsurely as you slowly nudge her out. 

“Very.”

And then, surprisingly, she rushes back to you. Her arms envelop you in a hug, catching you completely off guard before she’s suddenly a few feet away from you again. “Thank you for today, ____!” Uraraka bows rather harshly before she’s running far, far away from you, down the hall and around the corner. 

You watch her with a big smile, your heart feeling just a little lighter- and you don’t think it’s because of her quirk. You’re still grinning as you lock your office and head down to the convenience store outside of U.A for a much-earned lunch- it’s like you can’t stop. But who can blame you? 

You’re finally doing your job, and it felt good. 

——

“Hey, what’s that?” 

The class is in the middle of a group project when Ashido points out Uraraka’s stress ball, placed firmly in her hand. 

“Oh! ___ gave it to me! It’s a stress ball…” Several of her teammates perk up in interest- Momo only sighing as she could tell that they weren’t going to work on the project for a bit. 

“You went to see them? How was it?” Jirou asks.

Uraraka flushes. “It was… really nice, actually. I was able to just talk for a while and have someone listen and not judge me for it. And ___ is really nice, too.” 

“Really? I’m glad you liked it…”

From a few desks away, Aizawa sits in his desk chair as he watches the students do their work. His ears perk up when he hears Uraraka talking about you, and his eyes drift down to the stress ball in Uraraka’s hand. 

How about that? Aizawa sighs, peeved that his students aren’t paying attention but glad that they’re finally getting help. He knows you’ve been sitting alone in your office for a while now- it’s good that someone finally went. They could all use it. 

Eventually, he has to get up and scold his students to get back to work, but he makes sure to pat Uraraka on the back as he walks off back to his desk. 

——

The next student to visit you was Yaoyorozu, then Asui (who insisted you called her Tsuyu, and you did your best to remember), and a few girls from class B. You’re not at all surprised that the girls were the first to come over to your office, but it made you wonder who your first male student would be. Teenage boys seem to be very headstrong, especially in this school, so it will probably be a while until one of them admits to wanting a little counseling. You’ll just have to wait, like usual.

Today you don’t mind waiting. Getting out of bed was a bit harder than usual, your feet dragging wherever you went. You know that you should probably eat to get some energy, the only problem with that was… you didn’t have any energy. You’re alone in your office, basically lying down on your desk when you suddenly remember an image you saw once. Apparently, a radish gives you enough energy to walk 28 feet- but the next radish was just one more foot away and a skeleton lied on the grown trying to reach it. You were that skeleton today. So close… but no cigar (or, in this case, radish). Silently you laugh to yourself about how ridiculous your head was being. 

“What’s so funny?” 

Uh-oh. You snap your head up from your desk to see Aizawa standing in the doorway. “Oh, hey-” your sentence breaks as you yawn uncontrollably, your body slowly sagging back on your desk. “...Hey Aizawa.” 

“Not all of us have access to a couch, you know. If you’re that tired you should use it.” 

“Mm… can’t. Then I’ll really fall asleep,” you chuckle and you force yourself to sit up, stretching your limbs out as far as you can. “I should get my work done.” 

Aizawa just hums, entering the office and leaving the door open behind him as he lounges over to your couch. You watch him fall against it with a chuckle. “What?” He eyes you as he shimmies to get comfortable. “You’re not using it.” 

“No, you’re absolutely right. It’s all yours.” 

A silence falls in the office then, but you don’t mind it. You get to work as Aizawa lounges, trying to be as quiet as you can while you fill out papers and put them in their respective files. Every now and then you let yourself peek at him, but he never moves. A part of you wonders why he suddenly decided to hang out with you- but it might just be because of your couch. Which is reasonable. 

Another yawn escapes you before you can stop it, making your eyes tear up. 

“Can’t be Plus Ultra if you come to work like this,” Aizawa murmurs and you roll your eyes before rubbing them free of tears. 

“You’re one to talk, sleeping bag. My body just isn’t used to working so much, but it’ll adjust eventually.” 

“Are the students keeping you busy?”

You laugh. “No, not really. They’re coming around, which is nice, but I still have my old job. Because of my school hours I either have to work in the evening or weekends.” The files you were sorting through were actually from your other job- just recently you had started researching Gender Studies for one of your patients that was questioning their identity, and needless to say, it took a lot of work. 

Aizawa finally sits up from his spot, still lounging on the couch but more upright as he leans against the armrest. “I didn’t realize you kept your other job.”

“Well, you still have your hero job, don’t you?” You smile up at him. “It’s the same thing. I worked hard to get where I am with my patients, I can’t abandon them now.” The hero hums in response, a thoughtful look crossing his face before he stands up. He groans as he stretches. 

“Have you eaten?” The random question throws you off a little as you stare up at him from your desk. 

“Uh… not really.” 

“Let’s go. Teachers get free lunches from Lunch Rush.”

“Oh- well-”

“I’m leaving.”

“But the radish…”

“What?” 

Your face flushes red as you realize what you just said and you quickly stand up from your seat, fumbling for your bag and wallet. “I said, ‘coming’!!” 

You could definitely use the food. 

---

It’s been another week at U.A, except the atmosphere is a little different than before. You heard from Yamada that exams for hero licenses just passed, so the students were buzzing from that energy. You assumed all of them had passed since you didn’t hear any different until the day that Todoroki came knocking on your door. 

He was rather blunt in his behavior, you could tell from how he entered your office and immediately sat down on one of the chairs that he knew what he was here for and he had a goal in mind. Which was good in its own way… but you have a feeling that this session is mostly going to be about getting him to relax. 

You start off small. “Where would you like me to sit, Todoroki?” 

He hums. “I don’t mind.” 

“Can I sit next to you?” You approach the chair next to him and you can see how he tenses- something you don’t think he’s aware of. Instead, you move to the couch across from him, putting a reasonable space between you. “That’s fine, I rather like this couch. Are you comfortable?” 

He’s silent. 

“You can be honest, Todoroki. It’s okay if you aren’t.” 

He’s still quiet. There’s a sigh building up within you but you press it down, not wanting to offend him in any way. Your mind is already coming up with ideas- one of them has you lighten up as you stand and move to your bookcase. “I have something I think you’d like. Would you help me?” Todoroki doesn’t stand but his eyes follow you as he silently nods. You smile back at him and take out an unopened box from the shelf, bringing it to the coffee table. On top of the box is a cup and you hand it to him. 

“While I open this, I’d like you to put ice in that cup. Is that okay?” 

The student seems baffled but he does as he’s told, putting shards of ice in the cup until it’s half full. “Great! Hey, have you ever tried making shapes with your ice?” 

Again, he’s baffled, but he finally answers. “Not really.” 

“Well, that might be something you can look into. It might be fun- with a quirk like yours, I think it’s nice you can experiment with it. That’s just me, though,” you break open the cardboard and slide out the plastic inside. “Alright, now if you would be okay with it, I’d like you to turn that ice into water.” 

You’re inadvertently asking him to use his fire quirk, which you know based on the information you got on each student is a sensitive spot for him. But he doesn’t look offended, just curious, as he wordlessly puts the cup in his left hand to warm up the ice. “Why?”

“Because this is one of my favorite activities, but it requires some water.” You pull out the hunk of grey clay before looking at your coffee table. “Actually, could you hold this?” 

You quickly hand it to him before rushing to your desk and pulling out some paper towels in one of the drawers. “I’ll have to clean up anyway, but this will help with the mess.” You place the towels on the table before sitting back down, asking for the clay back which Todoroki hands to you. You put it on top of the towels before breaking it in half, placing one part in front of you both and then grabbing the water. “Have you ever used clay?” 

“I haven’t,” he picks up his piece curiously. He puts it back down once he sees you roll up your sleeves and does the same thing- removing his uniform coat once it gets in the way. 

“So, we both put some of the water on the clay. Then it becomes slimy but moldable. With the clay, we can make shapes. I have some other tools we can use to make details, but we’ll start like this.” Todoroki watches you as you pour half the water he made onto your clay. It molds and squishes in your hands. 

“...It’s messy.”

You laugh, “it is! But it’s a nice activity to focus on. Will you try?” You begin to pick apart your clay and make various shapes. 

“What are you making?” His hands are on the clay, but he hasn’t moved for the water yet. 

“Just a flower. Kind of like a daisy, since it’s easy. I made the middle, for the head where the pollen is,” you place a single petal on the circle and use the water to mold it in place. “And now I’m making the petals.” 

Todoroki hums, still watching you before finally he moves and gets to work. He seems to have an idea already, his hands moving with purpose. It’s successfully gotten his mind off of whatever was bothering him, you can tell by how his shoulders relax and his eyes soften. The rest of the time spent sculpting is spent in relative silence, until you can’t help but ask, “what are you making?” 

“A rose.” He says. Suddenly all the shapes he had made make sense and you go ‘ooh’ under your breath. You continue to watch him as your comical daisy is already finished. 

“I should buy more colors,” you murmur as you watch him. Todoroki has started to put all the petals together now in a circular pattern, much like a rose. It’s a slow, delicate process, but you think he likes it. 

“I like gray.” 

“Oh,” you perk up and smile. “That’s good, then.”

Once the rose is nearly put together, Todoroki finally speaks about what was bothering him. He’s not looking at you- all of his attention is on the clay, but he still talks, slow and even. “...I didn’t pass my license exam.” 

Ah. 

“Neither did Bakugo.”

Oh, boy. You wonder how Bakugo is taking it… Todoroki was clearly affected enough to come to you, and you bet Bakugo is the same, but you doubt he’d ever willingly come through your doors. You just hope Aizawa has a handle on it. 

“I see. What did you learn?” 

Todoroki finally takes his eyes off the flower, meeting your gaze with a hum. You smile and begin to clarify for him. “You didn’t get your hero license. But you still went to the exam, you learned what it’s like there. Did you learn anything about yourself in the process, or what being a hero is like?” 

“Oh.” His flower is finally finished- it’s rather beautiful, and very neat, especially for someone who’s never used clay before. He sets it carefully on the table. “I learned that I’m different. I was a lot colder at the beginning of the year.” 

“What made you realize that?” 

“There was a boy… he hated me.” Todoroki’s face shifts into discomfort, clearly affected by the boy’s feelings for him. “I don’t blame him. I think he’s okay with me now, but…” 

“Do you regret something?” You can read it all over him. He nods, his hands moving to his lap before he hesitates- they’re sticky with clay. “Oh!” You grab a spare paper towel and dip it in the water that remains in the cup- which isn’t a lot, but it makes the towel damp as you hand it to him. “Sorry about that.” 

“It’s fine. It was fun.” He softly cleans his hands before unraveling his sleeves and putting them back down his arms. Then he grabs the cup again, once again filling it with ice and then melting it before he hands it to you. “...So you can clean your hands.” 

“Thank you, Todoroki,” you smile gratefully and get your own paper towel, wiping yourself off. “Your quirk is very useful in a lot of different ways.” 

“I’m beginning to realize that,” he murmurs and you smile at him again. It’s then that the school bell rings over the speakers and you look up, surprised. 

“Oh! I guess the next class is starting.” And you were right in the middle of getting him to open up, too… “Would you like to stay or go to class?” 

“I should get going,” Todoroki says with a shake of his head as he stands, putting his uniform coat back on and buttoning it up. You suppose that’s fair- Todoroki doesn’t seem like the type who wants to miss class, especially now that he’s behind in his exam. He heads right for the door but you quickly stand up, trying to stop him. 

“Todoroki!” You walk over to him- he’s still a child, but he’s almost your height, which is a little upsetting for you. “Listen, I’m very glad you came to talk to me today. Don’t be afraid to come back, alright? And if you do,” you point over to your desk, “I’ll have your clay baked and maybe we can paint it.” 

He eyes the flower that he made- and surprisingly- he smiles. “I’d like that.” He tells you, honesty in his voice and you grin. 

“I’ll see you then. Have a good day, Todoroki.”

“...You too.”

---

The successful session with Todoroki has you buzzing with energy. This was good- great progress. If things keep going like this, you could successfully decipher what U.A needed and hire even more therapists for the entire school. If you could get these kids to open up, relieve their worries and help fix their problems, you could die happy knowing you made a difference. 

You rush into the Teacher’s Lounge after school, a pep in your step as you hold a small box in your hands. Inside is yours and Todoroki’s flowers. There are only a few people in the lounge- Yagi, Aizawa, and Yamada. Thankfully they’re all in the same corner so you rush over with a ‘hey!’

“Hey hey! What’s got you so pepped up?” Yamada grins, his voice is as loud as ever. You smile back. 

“I’m afraid that’s confidential,” Yamada deflates and you laugh. “But I was wondering if any of you have an oven? My apartment doesn’t have one and I need to bake this clay.”

Yagi looks at your little box. “Clay?” He scratches his chin, frowning. “I don’t have one, unfortunately.” 

“None of the teacher’s rooms have one, either…” 

“You can use mine,” Aizawa finally speaks up, tearing his eyes away from the computer he’s typing on. “When do you need to use it?” 

You think for a minute- you have no idea when Todoroki will come back, and you promised that it would be done when he does… You may have made a flighty promise. “Uhm… As soon as possible? Whenever you’ll let me, honestly.”

The hero sighs, closing his eyes as he scoots his chair back before standing up and popping his back. “Let’s go then.” 

Aizawa’s neverending deadpan behavior never ceases to amuse and surprise you. 

“Right now?” 

He’s already headed for the door, not saying anything else and you take that as your cue to follow. Quickly waving goodbye to Yamada and Yagi, you dash over to Aizawa, who’s already walking toward the doors. “Would it kill you to wait up?” 

“Yes.” 

For a nice guy, he really seemed to like keeping you on your toes.

---

Aizawa’s apartment is simplistic and minimalistic- you weren’t sure what you were expecting, but you’re not surprised. You bow as you walk in, toeing off your shoes at the door. Aizawa removes his capture weapon- which you hadn’t seen him without before- and then he walks down the small hallway and disappears when he turns to the left. 

As you’re left alone in the hallway, you suddenly realize how personal it is to be in his home. You still don’t know a lot about your co-workers- you feel a little guilty to barge in like this. 

When you follow Aizawa’s path, you find him in his kitchen. It’s tile floors are a clean white color, the walls the same. He’s bent over the oven, reaching into its bottom drawer before pulling out a cookie sheet and setting it on top of a counter. “Is this good?” He looks over to you, his hair in his face as he’s still crouched and you nod.

“Yeah, it’s great! Thank you a lot for this.” 

Aizawa just hums, backing out of the kitchen. “Feel free to use it however you want- I’m getting out of these clothes.” He disappears right after that, leaving you alone in his kitchen. 

You place the box on the counter next to the cookie sheet and roll up your sleeves. Okay, time to get to work. You haven’t baked clay in a while, but you think you remember how to do it. The first thing that needs to happen is to preheat the oven and you do so- you notice that the thing looks sort of high tech, so it shouldn’t take long. 

...What do you do now? 

You hear padding footsteps from behind you, and when you turn around- wow. Just wow. 

You burst out laughing before you can stop it and you slap a hand over your mouth. “Shut up,” Aizawa sneers, “I don’t have a lot of clothes left here since we moved to the dorms.”

“It looks good!” Your laughter doesn’t really help with that statement, but it’s true! The pink sweatpants that he wears really give him a cuter look than usual. Your burst of laughter is thankfully gone now- thank god- and you calm down with a few more giggles. “Where did you get those?” 

Aizawa rolls his eyes. It’s only now that you notice that he’s tied his hair up, making his expressions a lot more animated now that you can see his entire face. “Kayama.” 

“Of course,” you grin. The oven behind you beeps, startling you for a second before you realize that it’s telling you it’s done pre-heating. “I’m envious of your place. It’s really nice here.” Aizawa walks up to your side, peeking at the clay you made before you pop it in the oven. 

“I miss it. It’s better than the dorms.” He sinks to his knees as he looks in the oven again and you shoo him away with your foot. 

“No looking! This is therapy work in the making!” 

“Did you make the daisy?” 

“...I can’t tell you that.” 

“It looks awful.”

“BUH- Hey!” 

Aizawa grins- a Cheshire cat grin- as he rises to his feet again before walking off to the living room. You realize he just tricked you into telling him that the daisy is, in fact, your project and you huff. “That was a dirty trick.”

“Yeah, well.” He flicks on his television, affectively showing that he doesn’t care, before taking a seat on his couch with a sigh. “How long does it take?” 

You hum, the irritation quickly fading away. “I’ll have to check on it in 15 minutes, and after that, it’ll either be done or need a bit longer. Thank you again for letting me into your home.” 

“Thank you for taking care of my students,” he says bluntly, catching you off guard yet again. His eyes are watching whatever news channel popped on but he spares you a glance. It lasts a single second before he looks back at the television. “They’re definitely doing better. I’m glad Todoroki came to you.”

“How do you know that?” You would have thought he’d keep something like that quiet. 

“After he failed his exam, I told him to come to you,” Aizawa says. “I’m still working on Bakugo.” 

“I figured... He told me about the exam, so I can only imagine how Bakugo is handling it. I want to talk to him more than anyone else, honestly, but it’s going to be difficult.” 

You finally decide that talking from across rooms is silly, so you move into the living room with Aizawa and take a seat on the other end of the couch. “Why Bakugo?” He asks and you snort, leaning on the armrest. 

“You’re his teacher, I’m sure you know. He’s been kidnapped, of all things! His behavior is loud and defensive- he’s always angry. Anger is a secondary emotion, you know. There’s always something that triggers it.” 

Aizawa hums, his fingers tapping on his thigh. It catches your attention for a split second before you realize you’re looking at his thighs and you quickly look away. “If you’re going to try to help Bakugo, you’re going to need to talk to Midoriya first. They’re basically rivals.”

“Oh, really?” 

Aizawa laughs. “Oh, yeah.”

You deflate a little bit and groan. “Maybe I should come to the classes again and observe or something. I still don’t know a lot about them.” You would have never guessed Midoriya would have a rival. 

“It’s not a bad idea. We can schedule something soon.” 

The oven dings again- has it really been 15 minutes? You scramble up from your seat and check on the clay from the glass- they look perfect. “Where’s your uh, your,” oh, you’ve forgotten the word, “Your.... claw hands?” 

“My oven mitts?” Even from across the room, you can see how his eyebrows shoot up as he snorts. “In the drawer next to you, on the right.” 

“Right,” you hiss through your teeth in embarrassment, your cheeks overwhelmingly warm as you grab the oven mitts and take the cookie sheet out of the oven. Thankfully, none of the clay has cracked, which is perfect. 

“A rose?” Aizawa’s voice comes up from right behind you and you jump in surprise, almost hitting him in the jaw as you do. 

“Fucking- Christ! What are you, a ninja?!” You place a hand over your heart as you stare up at him. He’s laughing at you again- which is honestly a really handsome laugh, but you don’t care because you’re kind of pissed. 

“It’s my job to be quiet.”

“Yeah- well!” You guess that makes sense. Not having anything else to say, you turn back towards the clay. You didn’t hit it, thank god. “And no, you may not ask why Todoroki made a rose.” 

“Do you even know why he made a rose?”

“Shut the fuck up, buddy.” 

You didn’t.

[pjstafford]

Easter 2021

Today I spend another Easter morning alone. I am only half way through the vaccination process. I wait to socialize another day. I drink coffee and eat some chocolate. Soon I will put on some lamb shanks and eat some Devil eggs as an appetizer. I feel the way you should on Easter morning, but I feel it more intensely. I feel a Spring time rush of hope renewed. I’m looking forward to days in the sun. Thinking lazily if summer plans might include travel...someplace new or someplace that feels like home? Will there be a great concert soon? A summer weekend with friends?

It is worth remembering last Easter. It is worth always remembering. I felt almost paralyzed with fear for myself, the people I cared about, the planet. Do you remember we hadn’t normalize yet the pandemic reality? We hadn’t pushed the terror away. We felt it fresh. The world was in lockdown and we marveled that the earth was in recovery mode from the disease of mankind. There were blue quiet skies and wild animals coming into town wondering where the humans went. We imagined it was a glimpse of some post apocalyptic future before us. This was before the fires and the racial injustice/unrest of last summer. It was before our crazy President went as crazy as he would get. The world wasn’t yet surreal. The shit we were experiencing felt really real. Who among us would die and how many? Our food supply lines were getting scary. Shopping for groceries in stores with empty shelves. How bad could it get? Even the damn churches were closed.

I, like many,sought solace in Andrea Bocelli solitary Easter morning concert and then in the rebroadcast live once upon a time version of Jesus Christ Superstar. I let the music overwhelm my senses so I could live through the pain. It worked, but three months went by before I could listen to music again. I was stuck at Easter with the passing of time seeming to stop. Hibernating in a way. Tim Minchin great performance rang in my head for those months and the Andrew Lloyd lyrics that I couldn’t release through all of Spring seemed prophetic in the summer protests. “Listen Jesus, do you care for your race? Don't you see we must keep in our place? We are occupied. Have you forgotten how put down we are?” Judas begging Jesus to remember that oppressed people must not left up their voices in protest. You sympathize with the sentiment but we know it’s wrong. Oppression must be fought. I swear I heard those lyrics in my brain as a refrain at odd times through April, May and June. Occasionally, at night, the remembered sounds of Andrea Bocelli soothed me to sleep.

This year Pearl Jam and the Dead in Company free streams of once live concerts fill my ears again. Tell me that isn’t a sign of how things change in a year and how my mind has reset. I feel like we all need a long stress free summer full of reading books by the pool with a mojito in hand. Dancing? Dancing! I need to dance with joy. Hugs! I want me some hugs.

If this Spring is sweeter, we can’t deny it’s because last Spring lingers as if we got stuck in a nightmare loop where time repeated. Savor this, those of you lucky vaccinated gathering to socialize. I don’t begrudge you. My day in the sun will come. But let’s not be nonchalant ever again about the sweet taste of life that those of us alive still have. Come out of the dark and into the light. Spring has sprung again.

[osakaso5]

Sogo Osaka Twelve Hits! Rabbit Chat Part 3: Request Hits 2

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5

Tsumugi: Hello! Is everyone ready to resume the requests soon?

Yuki: Did Kinako-chan get home safely?

Tsumugi: Yes! She's having her dinner at the agency right now.

Tsumugi: I'm sorry for making you wait..!

Ryunosuke: Don't worry about it. We were taking our time eating anmitsu, too.

Kaoru: We bought some at the store nearby. I was craving anmitsu so badly that I couldn't wait any longer.

Gaku: I never knew there was a Japanese confectionery shop in the neighborhood. How'd you know about it, Tenn?

Tenn: I've seen it a few times.

Yamato: I'm getting kinda hungry...

Riku: You can have snacks, Yamato-san! We bought a lot, so I'll bring some to the living room. We even got some extra spicy chips for you, Sogo-san! They came out recently!

Yamato: Thanks.

Sogo: Thank you, Riku-kun. They're the habanero ones, right? I'd been wanting to try them, so I really appreciate it.

Tenn: Try not to eat too much.

Sogo: Yes! I'll make sure to monitor how much junk food I have..!

Tenn: Ah, sorry. I wasn't talking to you...

Yamato: Were you talking to me, then? (lol)

Tenn: No.

Momo: lololol

Nagi: A short skit.

Riku: You don't have to tell me! I can watch how much I eat just fine!

Tsumugi: Now that you have all your snacks, let's resume the requests..!

Tsumugi: Mitsuki-san, you were next. Go ahead!

Mitsuki: Yeah! Mine's an intro quiz!

Mitsuki: Sogo knows a lot about music! Wouldn't it be fun to play him different song introes and make him guess which ones they are?

Sogo: Can the songs be from any genre?

Mitsuki: Anything goes!

Yuki: You won't even know what you'll listen to next? That's a real test of skill.

Tamaki: So-chan knows a ton

Sogo: Yeah. It'll be exciting to see what song comes next. Even if they're songs I don't know, it'll be fun just to discover new music.

Sogo: Thank you for a challenging request, Mitsuki-san.

Mitsuki: Crap, lol I'm the one feeling pressured here, lol

Mitsuki: I'll pick songs that'll really get you fired up! Just you wait!

Mitsuki: 

Sogo: 

Tsumugi: That seems like it'll be a fun game! Yamato-san, you're next!

Yamato: Got it.

Yamato: Mine's a guessing game.

Sogo: You mean a quiz where I have to guess what something is based on a handful of hints?

Yamato: That's right. Variety shows do it a lot.

Iori: Another game. It'll be very exciting.

Nagi: How fun! May I help you come up with subjects for it?

Yamato: Sorry, but I've already got something in mind.

Sogo: You do?

Yamato: The other night at the dorm, I saw this

Yamato: Wait, whoops. Almost gave away the answer (lol)

Riku: Huh!? You saw something the other night!? At the dorm?

Sogo: Could it be something scary..?

Tamaki: Stop, stop, stop!!!

Tamaki: You better not say any more than that!

Tamaki: I can't handle that stuff!

Sogo: It's okay, Tamaki-kun. Science hasn't proven that ghosts exist yet.

Iori: Nikaido-san must've been seeing things as he wandered around half-asleep.

Tamaki: Stop talking about ghosts!!!

Mitsuki: You're the one talking about ghosts, Tamaki!

Momo: Tamaki's so cute when he's scared of ghosts~!

Yuki: Even though humans are much scarier

Momo: Yep (つ∀<●)゜+.

Yuki: (つ∀<●)゜+.

Rinto: You may be using cute emoticons, but the things you're saying are very scary!

Kaoru: These top idols are experienced in the bittersweet ways of the world...

Sogo: How educational...

Tsumugi: I've learned much from them, too..! Though I'm curious about what was seen at your dorm, it's Yaotome-san's turn!

Gaku: Mine is to continue the corner with an arrogant attitude.

Momo: You want him to act all smug?

Sogo: S-smug..?

Gaku: Yeah. Though it kinda overlaps with Tenn's request.

Gaku: I think I've said this to Anesagi and the others before, but you should act more proud of yourself, Osaka. Plus, it's so hard to picture you acting that way that I wanna see it.

Mitsuki: A lot of these requests are about seeing an unexpected side of Sogo!

Nagi: Sogo's charm is infinite, after all :-)

Sogo: I-I understand. I'll practice for the show.

Sogo: If only I knew how...

Iori: The quickest way is to look for a role model. Why not use samples of media featuring smug people?

Sogo: Right. I'll check a movie streaming site.

Sogo: Iori-kun, would you mind looking for appropriate works with me..?

Iori: Not at all. I'll give you my findings later.

Yamato: If you try too hard to look high and mighty, you lose any real smugness.

Gaku: I figured he'd just wing it on the spot... But I'm excited to see where Osaka's seriousness takes him.

Tsumugi: I'd love to see a new side of Sogo-san, too!

Tsumugi: Tsunashi-san, do you have a request you'd like to share?

Ryunosuke: Mine is to soothe the listeners.

Ryunosuke: Sogo-kun's always kind, just like the others said. When I'm tired after a shoot or something, seeing his smile relaxes me.

Ryunosuke: I'm sure the listeners will feel better if they hear him tell them "good work", too!

Tamaki: Oh. This one's the total opposite of Gakkun's

Sogo: Thank you. I feel a bit embarrassed...

Mitsuki: He's got a point. Sogo acts kinda motherly sometimes!

Yamato: When you leave clothes lying around in the living room, he'll start picking them up and saying "Please put these in the washing machine".

Tamaki: Same goes for used juice mugs

Iori: Clean up after yourselves!

Sogo: They've slowly started to do it themselves, much to my help.

Sogo: It's incredible. Not many people would change how they act so easily, just because someone else told them to.

Yuki: Ah. He really is soothing

Ryunosuke: I know, right!

Tsumugi: I find Sogo-san's smile to be rejuvenating, as well!

Tsumugi: Momo-san, what about your request?

Momo: Okie dokie! Mine is an extreme spice endurance test from hell! ヾ(*・∀・)ノ

Momo: Sogo can handle practically any kind of spicy food, so I wanna see if he has a limit at all!

Sogo: My spice limit... I must say, I'm curious about that myself.

Momo: So you really can handle anything!

Sogo: More or less. I have no trouble with my own cooking, but I've never felt that the spicy foods we've had to eat for TV projects have been too much, either.

Sogo: I want to feel the kind of unbearable spiciness that other people seem to feel.

Momo: You're that tough!? It must be hard getting good reactions out of you..!

Iori: Seeing him stuff his face with spicy dishes is entertaining in its own right.

Yuki: If your reactions are really obvious, it's easier to give up because people can tell right away when you've hit your limit.

Riku: Yamato-san has it rough because he doesn't let it show on his face..!

Yamato: Yeah. I have to keep eating for a little bit, even if I can't keep going.

Nagi: You must not force yourself. One should always be honest with oneself.

Mitsuki: You on the other and should eat more, for the sake of the show! you tend to throw in the towel before the food even touches your mouth!

Nagi: Even you will not convince me to do such a thing.

Sogo: So it really was hard for you guys...

Momo: Alright, I've got it! I'll personally see to it that you get to experience true spiciness, Sogo!

Sogo: Momo-san..!

Momo: Just you wait. I'll use my connections to find you the spiciest dish ever!

Sogo: Thank you. That's very reassuring to hear..!

Momo: (*ゝω・)丿★

Tsumugi: The spiciest dish ever... My mouth is burning up just imagining it!

Tsumugi: Yuki-san, you're the last in line!

Yuki: The grand finale, it is.

Yuki: I want to see Sogo-kun's retorts

Yamato: Ooh. Another reaction thing.

Sogo: You mean a comedic retort..? I'll need some kind of advanced technology to get through that...

Yuki: Just go with the flow. It's all in the timing

Momo: Yeah! As long as you yell "What the hell!" at some point, you're good ★

Mitsuki: That's too vague, lol

Sogo: I see... Just yell according to the flow...

Yuki: He believed me ^^

Sogo: What the hell!

Tamaki: So-chan, did you just

Banri: It completely broke the flow, but that was a retort, right..?

Sogo: I-I'm sorry! Did I get it wrong!?

Yuki: No, you're good. Very good. Keep it up

Momo: A-are you sure about that!? The bad timing makes it cute, but still!?

Iori: I don't know if our agency can approve of this...

Yuki: What the hell!

Sogo: Ah! Was that the correct way to do it..!?

Sogo: I see, so it's all about flow and speed.

Yamato: Sou, you don't have to humor them.

Tsumugi: Comedy has many layers! Thank you for a fun request, Yuki-san!

Tsumugi: That's everyone. Thank you all for your requests!

Sogo: Thank you.

Mitsuki: Now that we're done, it's time for Sogo to make requests to us!

Gaku: Yeah. Ask anything.

Choices/outcomes:

1. Do you have a request for us?

Sogo: I want you to stand by my side on stage. That's my biggest request.

2. Do you have a request for TRIGGER?

Sogo: I'd like to come see one of TRIGGER's lives again sometime. Naturally, I'll pay for my own ticket..!

3. Do you have a request for Re:vale?

Sogo: They've done plenty for us. I couldn't possibly ask for more..!

Sogo: I look forward to another year with all of you.

Yuki: You're so modest, even though your birthday's coming up

Momo: We'll have to celebrate him so much that he can't be modest anymore \ (*´∀`)丿

Ryunosuke: It's still a little early, but happy birthday. Let's go out for a drink again sometime!

Tenn: Happy birthday. I look forward to your broadcast.

Banri: Sogo-kun, happy birthday! I'll continue supporting you!

Momo: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO (σ>∀<)σ SOGO ♪ Let's get along next year, too!

Rinto: Happy birthday!

Yuki: Happy birthday. I hope you have a great time

Kaoru: Happy birthday. Keep the alcohol in moderation.

Gaku: Happy birthday. I hope you'll have a special year.

Tsumugi: Happy birthday from me, too!

Sogo: Thank you, everyone. My heart feels so full that I don't have much to say.

Sogo: But, I'm very happy that you're all here. Truly.

Sogo: I hope you'll continue to guide and support me.

Mitsuki: Even your finishing speech is too stiff! lol

Sogo: I-I'm sorry...

Yamato: No need to apologize. Let's have a party on your actual birthday.

Riku: I can't wait!

Iori: I'm a bit worried that our dining table will be covered in red...

Sogo: Thank you, guys..! My birthday can't come sooner. I'm really glad to be so excited.

Sogo: But before that, I'll do my best with the radio broadcast.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Trial Run: Seven

Bucky lays there, trapped under you after you fall asleep and thinks. He knows you’re in pain. Some pain you probably can’t describe to him properly. A spiky ball of tangled feelings that sits in your chest. It squats there like an unwelcome guest. But, his being there, he hopes is helpful. 

At there very least, he hopes you don’t feel alone. He hated it when you sent him away from you. When you avoided him trying to keep him from another half-assed proposal. The assassin replays that day by your bed over and over again and cringes. “Fucking smooth, Buck,” he thinks to himself. “Every girls dream right there. Hey I know I fucked you and ran away. But uh... I feel bad that I put you in a family way so... I guess marry me?” He berates himself in his head and decides that it’s no wonder you turned him down. He’d have turned him down to if that was the best reason he could come up with. If his confession that he loved you sounded that hollow. Even now it sounded hollow to his own ears. To an upset, hormonal, and exhausted woman, it had probably sounded worse. He made a quiet promise that the next time he told you he loved you, you’d believe him. Even if you didn’t have the same feelings. 

When you stir, he helps you up and lets you go when you murmur something at him he doesn’t quite catch. But when you shut the door to the bathroom and the shower starts, he nods to himself. So he has some time. He helps himself to a piece of cold pizza and a beer. He’s halfway through checking on Jolene when there’s a knock on the door. 

He stands up straight and crosses the floor to answer in, coming face to face with Natasha, “Bucky!” she said slightly surprised, “What are you doing here?” He rubs the back of his neck, trying to gauge how much Natasha knew about your current situation. “Helping out,” he said uncomfortably. Trying not to give things away. She nods slowly, “How’s she feeling?” she asked softly. “Tired,” Bucky answered. The spy sighed, “And how are you doing?” 

“I feel like an asshole,” he said softly, “I don’t even know how to help.” Natasha gave him a sympathetic look and kissed his cheek, “Just... Be here,” she said softly, “Give her a little time to be crazy and get herself sorted out.” Bucky nods and looks at her curiously, “How much do you know?” Natasha smiled a little, “Probably more than you... Carol and I have gotten her properly drunk more often.” He snorted, “And you’re not going to tell me anything, are you?”

“Not a peep,” she said. He sighed, “What is that like a girl code thing?” Nat shrugs, “Or it’s a “Barnes, you made this mess you clean it up, thing.”

“Tasha,” You murmur, making Bucky jump, “I agreed to it. It’s not like he held a gun to my head.” 

Bucky scoots out of the way, blushing and watches as Natasha’s face softens, “How are you feeling?” she asked softly, pulling you into a hug. “I’m okay, Tasha,” you tell her. Bucky can’t see your face. But he can see Natasha’s and he knows she doesn’t believe you. “ принцесса,” she admonished softly, hugging you a little harder. A conversation happens between the two of you without a word being said and the Spy kisses your forehead, “When you feel better, we’ll go shopping. I need new shoes and you pick out better ones than I do.” You smile a little and kiss her cheek, “Alright. But only if we can hit a book store after.” She rolls her eyes, “Fucking nerd,” she says, “Fine. I guess.” She leaves you with a fond look and Bucky can’t help it. He wraps his arms around you gently. Your skin is warm from your shower and you smell soft. Sweet. When you shut the door, he kisses your head, “Why does Nat call you princess?” he asked, curious. You smile a little, “We were undercover once. As a couple. She had to think of a pet name, quickly. And that was the first thing that came out. So it stuck.” Bucky quirks an eyebrow, “Did you two ever date for real?” You laugh, “Absolutely not. But we’ve pretended to be super into each other to get creepers at bars to fuck off.” Bucky grinned, “Does it work?” You shrug, “If it doesn’t the beat down we give them usually does.”

He shakes his head and rubs your arms, “You should eat,” he encourages gently, “There’s still pizza. Unless something else sounds good. Comfort food? I can try and make you something.” You sigh, “I usually just sleep through the worst of it,” you tell him, “My Ex just kinda ignored me for the first one... The last one probably caused the breakup.” Bucky frowned, “If I woulda known that, Doll I woulda done more than look scary when we went to rescue Jolene.” You shrug and help yourself to a slice of pizza, “I don’t really like to talk about it... I figured we’d never have to talk about it.” Bucky looks towards you and watching you. Long damp hair and clean pjs. You still look pale but after some sleep, you look a little better. Less... Less waifish. “Y/N,” he said softly, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” you ask around a bite of pizza, “You haven’t done anything.” Bucky smiled a little and took a sip of his beer, “You were hurt. And tired. And vulnerable... and I didn’t consider your feelings about things when I proposed... If you’d call it that. I just. I decided we were going to have the baby and get married. I didn’t even ask you.” 

You look away, fidgeting with your thumb ring. “Bucky,” you start. “No, Y/N,” he says gently, “It’s not. You didn’t do anything wrong turning me down... Shit. I would have told me no. I just... When I was. I mean. As a young man. That’s. That’s what you did. You married the girl and took care of them. I think I forgot. When I was putting our whole future together and picking wallpaper colors and shit that the world doesn’t work that way now.” You smile a little, “Back in your day, huh? Did you walk uphill to school both ways? 6 miles through the snow?”

“Yes. And fuck you, it was only 2 miles,” he sniffs, feigning offense. He feels better now that you’re teasing him. It feels right. It’s comfortable. You smile and he swallows hard, taking a sip of beer to swallow the “I love you” dancing on his tongue. “Okay, old man,” you hum, “Simmer down.” Bucky glowers at you, fighting a smile, “Listen here, whippersnapper,” he growled, “Don’t make me bend you over my knee.” You quirk an eyebrow and take a sip of a soda and Bucky blushes scarlet, “Y/N I- I-” he stammers and you snort. “Bucky, Calm down. Despite the outcome, the night we spent together was fun,” you tell him, “I wouldn’t have thrown myself at you if I didn’t feel attraction to you in some way... I know you don’t actually reciprocate it. It’s fine.”

He stops. Beer halfway to his mouth. “Babydoll,” he says softly, crossing the floor to you, “When I said I loved you. I meant it.” He tilts your chin up and kisses you very softly. The softest whisper of a kiss, “The stupidest thing I ever did was leave your room that night,” he whispered, “As long as I live I will never forgive myself for that. For making you go through so much alone while I wallowed in self-pity.” When tears start flowing, Bucky wipes them away softly and kisses your forehead. “I should have known better than to fake date you,” he said, “I’d been dancing around being in love with you for ages.” 

“Bucky,” you whisper, closing your eyes. You swallow hard, struggling to find your voice and he pulls you close, “Sunshine,” he soothed, stroking your hair, “We don’t have to make any decisions today. None. Not until you feel better.” He kissed your head, “You’re not okay right now. And I can wait. Until then though, I’ll be here. For anything you need, okay? Anything. Even if you just need someone to listen while you yell for a while.” You nod and hug him tightly, “Stay with me?” you ask softly, “That was the best sleep I’d had in a long time.” Bucky smiles a little and kisses your head, “Askin’ for a lot there Sunshine, but I think I can handle that.” 

Tags: @lancsnerd​ @stevieang​ @golddaggers​ @blameitonthecauseway @qxeen-of-hearts​ @process-pending​ @xmarveled​ @beautybyfire, @etherealwaifgoddess, @mschellehitt, @mistressoftorture @thorfanficwriter, @ctinadiva, @innerpaperexpertcloud @amalthea9 @mrsgoodnight, @deangirlsup

[prettyboiiharringrove]

Pregnant omega Billy and his cravings!!!

Actual Harringrove content ?? From me ?? I’m as shocked as you are. Anyways, Billy has a meltdown about cookies, I do hope you enjoy because this is a bigger mess than I am lolol

( alpha/beta/omega masterlist )

🍪👅 🍪👅 🍪

“Don’t come home,” Billy barks and Steve isn’t evensurprised, he’s just confused as to what he did this time. It’s always beeneasy to piss him off, and these days it’s a pleasant surprise when Billy’s notmad when he gets home. He loves Billy, he really, truly does, and that pup oftheirs is a dream come true, but Steve prays for the days where Billy’s moreaffectionate lapdog and less angry house-cat.

“What’d I do?” Steve sighs, deciding to keep driving towardshome, because Billy usually starts to miss him and then get more annoyed at himfor not being there in an hour or less after yelling at him.

“You went into my drawer, Steven, and when you get pregnant you will get your own drawer foryour own fucking snacks, but until then you leave mine alone,” and really,Steve isn’t sure how he sounds so scary when he’s bitching about his not sosecret snacks, especially when Steve knows he’s probably leaning against thecounter rubbing soothing circles on his swollen stomach as their baby no doubtjoins in on Billy’s hissy fit. For all intents and purposes it should be cutebut a mad Billy is nothing to turn your nose up at, unless you want it brokenthat is.

“Okay like, I know you’re trying to prove a point orwhatever, but I can’t get pregnant so I don’t even know why you say shit likethat and honestly, I should get my own drawer for putting up with you,” andokay, Steve knows he’s stupid but he didn’t think he was that stupid until those words came out of his mouth and he actuallyconsidered turning the car around and asking Joyce if he could crash on hercouch for the night.

“I’m sorry, what the fuck did you just say to me?!” andSteve knows he deserves it, but Billy screaming at him kind of makes his skincrawl. He feels guilty, and he wants to blame his inner alpha for the feeling,but really it’s just Steve; it’s Steve that feels weak in the knees justknowing that he upset Billy.

“I just mean—”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I know what you mean,” Billy soundslike his feelings are hurt, and that just tears Steve up inside because heknows he’s pretty much the only person that actually makes Billy feel things sohurting him is the last thing he wants to do.

“Babe, it’s not like that, alright ?? I’ve just had a longday, but listen I promise I didn’t go in your drawer,” and really, that’s allhe meant when he said ‘putting up with you’. He didn’t mean that he’s hated theway Billy’s been acting because honestly, he hasn’t. Billy’s always been a bitof a dick, and now he actually has a bit of a reason to be, cramps, lack ofsleep, swollen ankles, endless hunger and all.

“Steve, my Oreos are gone, there was an entire half sleeveleft, I know there was because I was saving it despite the fact that I wantedthem so bad that I cried in the shower — don’t say a fucking word, I know whatyou’re thinking and if you bring up hormones again I swear to god — but fuckSteve it’s not there now, and I didn’t eat them, so it had to be you,” it still kind of pisses off Steve to be accusedwhen he knows he didn’t do it, even has a pretty good idea of what actually happened, but he deals with it,for Billy’s sake.

What’s more annoyingis that they’re not Oreos, they’re the grocery store’s knock-off versionbecause that’s what Billy craves. Steve bought him real Oreos once and Billy cried and ‘no it’s not about the fucking cookies, it’s because you don’t fuckinglisten, Jesus, does what I say even matter to you’ and obviously it does,but Steve still can’t understand why cookies are that fucking important.

“You sure you haven’t been sleep eating again?” it’s beenhappening a lot lately, and Steve isn’t judging him or anything, he’s beenknown to do weirder things then wander out of bed and eat snacks without evenwaking up to chew. He just thinks that maybe Billy should have considered thatbefore calling him angrily.

“No, I haven’t been, I don’t do that anymore,and how could I considering your kidkept me up all night kicking like he’s trying to get ready for the goddamnworld cup,” Billy groans and Steve knows it’s because the baby definitely startskicking right as he’s mentioned, as if on cue.

“Exactly, he kept you up, and when you bit—,” he canpractically hear Billy raise his eyebrow, daring him to say that sentence, baitinghim so that it’s easy to go in for the kill. He’s smart enough to correcthimself and start over. “When you talked to me this morning, you said you wereprobably going to take a nap. Did you?”

“Shit,” Steve smirks proudly and doesn’t even argue whenBilly tells him to shut the fuck up despite having not said anything. ‘That’s what I thought’ lingers heavilybetween them but Steve’s smart enough to not actually say it out loud.

“You want me to buy you more before I come home?”

“No, that’s uh, that’s actually why I was mad. I mean I waspissed about my cookies, but I was more pissed because I went to get more of myown and got stuck in the car. The chief was walking out — stop laughing asshole —he was walking out with his weird daughter and saw me. You know how embarrassingit is when the chief of fucking police has to go buy you cookies and then followyou home so he can help you out of the fucking car ??”

“Yeah that uh, that sounds horrible,” he knows Billy’sprobably going to punch him, or kick him in the shin again when he gets home,but he really can’t stop laughing. “Sorry, sorry, that’s just, that’s fuckingadorable.”

“It’s not adorable, it’s the worst. Doesn’t help that Ialmost pissed myself and I dropped the keys and he had to come get them for me,and his kid just stared at me the whole time, like she was embarrassed for me.I don’t need some freaky teenager looking at me like I’m pathetic.”

“You know her name, and I thought you liked her.”

“I don’t like anyone,especially not when I’ve had the worstday ever.”

“Okay that’s a lie, and you’re being dramatic,” yet anotherbad decision on Steve’s part, but sometimes he just can’t help himself.

“And you’re being a dumbass, what else is new ??” heprobably deserves that, so he tries not to let his feelings get hurt,especially when his boyfriend has always been a hot mess and a bit of a bitch.

“So can I come home yet?” Steve’s pretty sure he knows theanswer, but he’s decided to humor Billy so that he can get back into his goodgraces.

“I haven’t decided yet.” Translation: yes, yes, a thousandtimes yes because I’m lonely and I’m probably going to climb on top of you thesecond you get home and not move because you’re warm and comfy and I love you. 

It’s funny how Steve can get so much out of a simple sentence, but he’s been inlove with this emotionally constipated asshole for years, so he’s figured outmost of the language. He speaks Billy, although like most languages, some things just don’t translate.

“I’ll rub your feet for you,” Steve smirks when Billypauses. He knows that he’s won, that Billy can’t even pretend to still beannoyed because he’s tired and the thought of a foot rub alone practicallymakes him cream his jeans because it’ll feel so damn good.

There’s a beat of silence and then.

“Hurry up.”

Steve decides to speed up after they hang up, hoping to getthere before Billy finds something else to be mad about and changes his mind.He also decides that tomorrow he’s going to go the store and buy as many ofthose fucking cookies one cart can carry and hide them in case of emergency.

[stevesharrlngtons]

hey.

steve harrington x reader

summary: he was such a staple piece in your life, that as a child and young teen, you never saw your life without him. late night promises and pinky swears were made in blanket forts that you two would be friends until the day the sun burned out in the sky. it was just a given that’d he be there, that you never worried about the two of you drifting apart or being separated. he promised he’d always be there, and you had believed him. you now corrected yourself, foolishly believed him.

word count: 5.4k

a/n: holy shit? chapter nine! 38,000 words later and it’s done!!! this is such a sentimental piece for me. i started working on this in november, right after st2 was released, and was just writing it for myself to read. but as time went on, i was four chapters in and decided i wanted to share it with other people. posting your writing online is terrifying, even if you do it all the time. so posting this, which i consider my baby in a way, was super scary. but i’m really happy i did. i’m glad that the few people i reached with story, really really enjoyed it. everytime i get a message saying that someone loves this story it always brightens my mood. for those of you who have been there from the beginning or just found this story, thank you for all your love and support! i love you all.  i know i mainly write for billy now, but thank you for sticking around anyway! hopefully i can get some inspo for more steve in the future. my love for him and joe is not gone, so here’s hoping!  and if you are still here, thank you for your patience while i took the time to write this, i hope it is enjoyable and worth the wait. 

here is chapter nine, please let me know what you think! and thank you for letting me share this story with you!

chapter i / ii / iii / iv / v / vi / vii / viii / 

                                                   chapter xi

The next morning you woke to your pillowcase cemented to your cheek from died spit, and a splitting headache. Remnants of last night were coming to you in bits and pieces but nothing too concrete.

Shit. Concrete.

The pain from your skinned knees started to become prominent, and your eyes felt red and puffy. Fragments of conversations came and went in your head. You vaguely remembered a fight with Derek, then Jonathan tucking you in, but everything else was a blur. You glanced towards your alarm clock, the red numbers brighter than usual, reading 11:46 AM. You sighed and placed your head back on your pillow in a huff. As you did, you started to feel all the old makeup, sweat and blood that caked your skin. As much as you just wanted to lay in bed all day waiting for the screwdriver in your head to dislodge itself, a shower was definitely needed.

Peeling yourself up from your sheets, you trudged your fatigued legs towards the bathroom, and once you were inside, the mirror above the sink was anything but forgiving. Black smudges painted your face, forgotten tear tracks in their wake. Your hair was knotted and matted, and your eyes were bloodshot to hell.

Rolling your eyes and shrugging, you discarded your wrinkled clothes, got into the shower and turned the water on to a blistering heat. Standing under the stream, you ran your hands slowly over your face, breathing in the already accumulating steam. The water soothed your tense muscles and eased your headache, and you were starting to feel human again. But as you calmed, more memories came up. Derek’s harsh words, calling Jonathan, making up with Jonathan, telling him you were in love with Steve, weeping after Jonathan left your room. You tried to push the thoughts to the side, they were causing your stomach to ache and your head spin. Right now, you needed to focus on shedding the layer of grime you had accumulated over the past twenty-four hours.

When you were sufficiently clean, you turned off the faucet and climbed from the bathtub, taking the two towels from under the sink and wrapped one around your hair and the other around your torso. At your vanity, you wiped away some steam that clung to the mirror with your hand, revealing a window of your broken, tired self.

Your head was still throbbing and your skin felt like sandpaper, so in the fruitless effort to make yourself feel better, you put on a face mask. Wiping the green goopy substance on your face, you were officially turning into the Hulk for the next fifteen to twenty minutes.

With nothing but your mask and towels, you went downstairs to get a cup of much needed coffee and possibly a slice of toast if your mother had been to the store. Thankfully she had. So, with two pieces of bread in the toaster and coffee brewing, you debated calling Jonathan. Not to harass him to pick you up in the middle of nowhere, but to thank him for the night before. You could be a fun drunk or emotional one, there was no in between. And last night you had definitely been emotional. If anyone was best equipped to take care of you in that state, it was Jonathan. But you would always call the next day with a load of apologies and appreciations and promises of a donut and David Lynch at a later date.

As you buttered your toast, you wondered if donuts and Lynch were enough to mend this wound? Not only yours but Jonathan’s as well. You both had been sucked under the Harrington and Wheeler ray of false feelings, but you always had a thicker skin than him. Maybe not when it came to Steve, but you would still put on your best face when you would inevitably console Jonathan about this situation.

Just as you were crafting the words you were going to say to your best friend, the phone started to ring. Thinking that it was Jonathan with some newly achieved ESP, you paused eating your toast and went to answer the phone.

“Hello?”

“How’s it hanging?” The unexpected voice asked.

“Perry?” You furrowed your brows, surprised he was calling.

“Yeah, you expecting someone else or something?” He chuckled.

“Well, kind of. But this is a happy interference.” He laughed again.

“Dad ran out for the afternoon, so I thought I’d see how things have been.”

You laughed humorlessly under your breath, “Things have been things. How about you?”

“Things have been things?” Perry repeated with skepticism.

“Yeah, things have been things.” You sighed and shook your head.

“Fuck that cryptic shit, how have you really been?” His tone grew serious.

“Just drop it, okay? How are you?” You tried to push past his question.

“I asked for first. Now tell me, (Y/N/N).”

You leaned your head on the wall next to the phone and shut your eyes to have a brief moment of clarity before you told Perry what was happening. You couldn’t lie to him. You had that weird sibling connection that could always detect a lie.

“Remember Steve? Steve Harrington?” You said slowly.

“Yeah, last I heard he was dead to you.”

“Well a lot has happened since then.”

“Like?” Perry asked.

“Like, I sorta, kinda, maybe fell in love with him? And I thought he loved me, which he didn’t and it broke my heart. I don’t know…A lot can happen in a month…” You crinkled your forehead. You hated how naïve and young you sounded.

“How the hell did this happen?” Perry was trying to keep his anger at bay, but it was still peaking through.

“We ran into each other at a party, he had just broken up with his girlfriend and I guess I felt guilt or pity, I’m still not sure... He was sad and even though I hated him, I still cared about him, y’know? So, we ended up spending more time together after that and one thing led to another and I dumbly fell for him. He made it seem like he felt the same way. Trust me on that, he was very forward with saying how much he liked me. But I was scared. Scared because all the asshole men in my life, present company included, have screwed me over.” It was a low blow to Perry, but he knew how much his leaving hurt you. This wasn’t anything new. “So, I told him I needed the weekend to think about if I was really ready to be in a relationship, he was totally against it. Wanting me to stay and telling me all this shit, but I knew I needed some time. I thought about it a lot and talked with mom and realized that I really did want to be with him. When I went to tell him, I caught him with his ex, so…”

Perry was silent on the other end for a long moment.

“Steve Harrington did this? Are you sure?” He asked.

“Why the hell would I lie, Per?” You rolled your eyes.

“That just, I don’t know. It doesn’t sound like him.”

“A lot has changed around here. We aren’t playing superheroes in the backyard and drinking Yoohoo, anymore. It’s been years since you saw him.” You toyed with the telephone chord as you spoke.

“Yeah but he was so into you when we were kids. I always thought something would happen with you guys. I always told him he had my blessing. He seemed really thankful for that.” Perry said nonchalantly.

“This is new fucking news to me.” You said straightening your posture.

“What? He was a nice kid and you two were attached at the hip! I told him when you were like ten that if he ever wanted to be with you, I was okay with it.”

“So, even through all the shit talking I’ve done for the past few years, you always thought that we would end up together?” You scoffed.

“Yeah, I always figured it was just hormones or something.” You could practically hear him shrugging on the other end.

“Hormones? Are you fucking kidding me?” You roared.

“See! Right there! Fucking hormones!” Perry said.

“I’m going to kick your ass, I swear.” You mumbled.

“Try me!” Perry laughed, but stopped when you didn’t join in.

And when you stayed silent on the other end, he knew he needed to step up his big brother duties.

“Whether it sounds like him or not, he’s a piece of shit. He doesn’t deserve you. If I was there I’d beat the shit out of him and revoke my blessing! I would!” This earned a laugh from you and Perry knew he’d done his job.

“If you were here, I might have to take you up on that.” You sadly smiled.

“But I’m not. So what are you going to do, kid?”

“Mope, get over it. Move on.” You sighed.

“Fuck that!” Perry scoffed, “You need to tell that asshole off! Who does he think he is?”

He always knew how to work you up.

“He made you love him twice! Not once, but twice! Fool you once, shame on you, but fool you twice…”

“Shame on him.” You said tightly.

“Exactly. You need to make him feel like shit. You need some good old fashioned revenge.” Perry cursed.

“You know what? You are so right!” You nodded dramatically.

“Steve fucking Harrington doesn’t get to march into people’s lives just to destroy them! I need to tear him a new one!” Perry was putting you over an open flame, and the more he spoke, the more you bubbled over with anger.

“Now there’s the (Y/L/N) in you! Go tell that fucker off!” He cheered.

“I’m gonna!” You raged. “I’m going to go now before all this anger and hype wears off.”

“Yes! Call me when you’re home and describe his tears, okay?”

“Deal.”

-

Hastily, you had ran up the stairs, wiped off your mask and threw on a pair of jeans and a sweater. Your hair was still mostly damp and you looked an absolute hungover mess, but you had just enough momentum and energy to drive over to the Harrington residence. Thank God your mother had left her car this time she had gone out of town, because walking in the freezing weather would have no doubt made you turn back and sulk in your bedroom.

You had a lead foot on the gas pedal as you vibrated with anger. Your music loud enough to cover your insane rambles as you whipped around corners and California breaked at stop sighs. Soon, Steve’s house was coming into view, and your adrenaline was spiking.

The car lurched as you came to a quick stop. You yanked on your emergency break and took the keys from the ignition, the music cutting out and leaving you in a tizzy of silence. Upon exiting the car, your nerves began to set in. The cold attacked your damp hair and sent a chill through your bones. The cloudy Indiana sky was creating a grey mood that made you think that the universe was trying to warn you.

Turn back.

It isn’t worth it!

You don’t want to hurt him, you love him!

And yet, your legs did not stop as you stomped your way through the morning dew on the Harrington’s grass and approached his front steps. The large double doors seemed taunting and terrifying, but you paid no mind to this as you slammed your fist hard on the wood, your other hand relentlessly ringing the doorbell.

The surface for your fist to hit was ripped away so fast, you almost pounded Steve in the chest, but your arm stiffened when you saw him standing in front of you.

You did the best to ignore the flutter of your heart at the sight of his bed head and astonished gaze. This wasn’t the time to falter, this wasn’t the time for weakness.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing here? I was just about to come over and see you.” Steve said in a gentle voice.

This was half true. He had woken up at nine, gotten dressed, driven to your house, had a panic attack when he arrived, then came home and decided he needed more sleep before he confronted you. Even with being up all night trying to craft what he was going to say to you, nothing seemed good enough. Steve had wronged you before, and with you thinking he had again, that was how he was going to have to approach you. And it terrified him. It wasn’t going to be easy.

“I have some things to say to you, Steve Harrington!” You boomed, moving you arms down to your sides stiffly.

“I, um, me too.” Steve said, nodding.

“I want you to know that you are a two timing, pig! Who I hate by the way! You manipulative, piece of shit!” You screamed in his face, pointing an accusatory finger in his face.

Steve just stared at you and said nothing. These words were all expected. He was surprised you hadn’t called him anything much worse.

“You come back into my life and make yourself seem like I’m your savior! You make me let you in, you made forget all the rules I had set up- that you fucking made me set up in the first place! You make me fall in love with you and you fucking make me believe you loved me too! Just to see you feeling up Nancy Wheeler in the school parking lot? You are a Class A asshole, Harrington! I hope you rot!” Steve was sure by the decidable of your voice, that you had drawn attention from all of his neighbors by now.

After your speech, you stood on his doorstep, heaving with an enraged look on your face, your body slightly tilted forward. It must have happened sometime during your heated words and violent hand gestures.

“Can I speak now?” Steve asked calmly.

“No! I don’t- no! You can’t. I’m leaving. I have nothing left to say.” You said, going to turn around.

But ever the rule breaker, Steve spoke, “Nancy and I aren’t together. She saw us the night you left when she was coming to get some of her things. Monday we were just talking… mostly about how much I love you. I told her that we are soulmates and she agreed. We lost track of time and when I realized it, I freaked. She told me to wait for you, but you never showed.”

As Steve explained, he stepped closer to you. You were still fuming, but Steve could see the subtle changes in your face as he spoke. But he knew you wouldn’t let your guard down just yet, and he didn’t expect you too.

“I called your house and your mom cursed me to hell and back. I waited the rest of the day in the parking lot, hoping you would show but you never did. I thought, I don’t know… that you decided you didn’t love me after all. That’s why I stayed away. I thought you were avoiding me because you couldn’t face me after realizing that feelings were only on my end. It wasn’t until Jonathan showed up here last night to scream at me, that I connected all the dots.” He was in front of you now.

The information he was telling you was making your resolve of anger and revenge dissolve. Your mind felt like a static television screen, you couldn’t think or act- just listen.

“But that’s why I didn’t call or come to your window or bang on your door and fight off your mother. Because I couldn’t bear the idea of you telling me to my face you didn’t love me. It happened with Nancy and it broke my heart, but with you,” Steve placed a hand on your frozen cheek, “I would die. The pain would consume me, and I knew I would never be the same again. Because I love you, (Y/N). And you’ve got to believe me when I say that, and that I always have.”

Your jaw was tense as tears brimmed your eyes. You were hesitant and apprehensive to believe the sweet words he was crooning to you. It all seemed a little too good to be true. And you didn’t know what to think in this moment. Expect about how much you wanted everything Steve said to be the honest to God truth.

“How can I know? Because you have to understand my side of this too, Steve. You have to put yourself in my shoes.” You said sadly, a giant contrast from your tone just minutes earlier.

“You’re just going to have to trust me,” Steve’s other hand now made its home on your other cheek, “Trust me when I say that you are the only one for me. From now until forever. We will be the testament that movie love exists, our kids will know true love because we will be the example! And you will be my best friend from now until the end of time, because I will never let you go again, (Y/N) (Y/L/N). I love you. And I know its going to take time for us to rebuild, but it’ll be worth the wait.”

If you thought his words weren’t completely truthful, you knew by his eyes that he was. It was clique, but the eyes were the window to the soul, and Steve’s was screaming at you that this was real.

But that didn’t mean it scared you any less.

“Steve, I,” Your breath hitched.

Both of your eyes were glassy, Steve’s nose was inches from yours as he begged you silently to say everything he had been wanting to hear since childhood. He had just cut himself open to you, bleeding in front of you in the vain of forgiveness. He was in a vulnerable state and he needed your kiss for comfort and reassurance.

“I need a minute…” You gasped quietly, stepping out of Steve’s grip.

Before his hands felt like weights, keeping him grounded to the only thing that mattered to him, but when you stepped back, they fell from your skin like feathers. He felt like he could hear his heart breaking.

“But, I…” Steve choked out.

“So much has changed in just the past ten minutes, let alone the past month! I feel like I have whiplash.” You breathed heavily.

All of this was hard to digest. You had just been on the phone with your brother, plotting the best way to cut off Steve’s balls; but then this happened? Steve’s sincere words and heartfelt glances. It felt like you were spinning.

“I feel like I’m in a Twilight Zone episode or something…” You heaved, placing your hands in your hair, trying to find a way to ground yourself.

“Like, I came over here to tell you to never speak to me again and you just threw a huge wrench into that!” You rambled, Steve’s face was sullen as you did.

“This has to be more than a crazy misunderstanding, right? This has to be a sign or something?” You felt like your air way was going to close off as you spoke manically. You had never been this flustered in your life.

“Why can’t this be the sign? Why can’t Jonathan coming to me last night and you showing up here this morning be the sign? Or who cares if it is or if it isn’t! Because at this point, frankly, I don’t.” Steve said back to you.

“We have been in this round about for years, (Y/N). Getting close to our happily ever after, but always missing the exit. This,” He motioned between you two, “This is the exit. This is the moment where we decided to go out separate ways, or finally just be happy. To be in love with each other.”

You let a shaking breath and stared at the broken boy in front of you. He was right, this was the exit. This was one of the pivotal moments in your life that would set the course for everything. Drive off into the sunset or let your fears and haunted memories send you for the hills.

Steve was offering you a grand gesture, he was saying life is a fact, that people do fall in love. And you knew that was true, but you were still scared. A stupid feeling you were sick of always coming up.

“Steve, I’m such a mess… look at me today! And this past week. I just spiral and I just…” You shook your head as your throat choked up.

You wanted to give him one last out.

“I don’t care, I don’t care! When has it ever seemed like I did? I want you, all of you. I know you, every part, every chapter, every subsection and footnote. I have the PhD in you! I love you, nothing else matters. I know I hurt you. I know Jonathan and Perry and your dad have too. I know they fucked up. I know I did, too. But I am going to work every day for the rest of our lives showing you that I will never hurt you again. I can’t lose you, and I’ll do everything I can to prove that. You just have to let me.”

Steve’s words made your knees weak and your stomach flip. He really did love you. With tears peeking from your eyes and gracing your cheeks so said sweetly, “Really?”

“Yes,” Steve said with a small smile, “Really.”

And you believed him. You believed every word he was saying because your heart wouldn’t let you not. You loved him, and he loved you. You were ready to exit.

You took a stride towards him and slotted your lips with his. It took Steve no time at all to fall into your kiss, his hands flying to your waist as you gripped his neck. He was ready to stop wasting time and to make up for every kiss he was too afraid to give and every chance he had missed. The kiss made you feel electric, the cold fall air no longer affecting you. Steve was enough to keep you warm in this instant, and you guessed, for many times after this one. His lips felt like they were made for yours as you kissed him with passion and meaning. Steve pulled you as close as he could, wanting every section of his body to know you were there, that you were finally his. His heart had mended itself in no time and was working overtime beating out of his chest as he licked your lips and your nails grazed the nape of his neck.

Breaking apart briefly to catch your breath, you laid your forehead against Steve’s. His eyes were still shut as he stroked your sides and grinned wider than you had ever seen. You thought he looked so classically beautiful in this moment and smiled too.

“Steve,” You whispered, unable to hold back you words any longer.

He opened his eyes and separated just enough from you, so he could look you in the eyes.

“I love you, too.” You spoke softly.

You finally had said it. Not to Jonathan, your mother, or your mind. Finally, to the person who desperately needed to hear it. The second you said it, it felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulder. One that had settled itself there over years of repression and grief.

“Good.” Steve said, laughing lightly and you joined in.

You rested your forehead to his collarbone and he pulled you flush to his body. Steve couldn’t wipe the smile off his face if he tried, and he knew you couldn’t either. He was about to speak, when he felt something hit his head.

You pulled away and you both looked up and saw rain start to sprinkle down and hit your skin.

“This couldn’t get more cliché.” You shook your head playfully, looking back at Steve who was looking up at the sky with a happy expression.

“I told you,” He said, looking back down at you now as well, “Just like Holly and Paul.”

And as he kissed you again, rain falling all around you, you swore you could hear Moon River ringing in your ears.

It was cliché, perfect, and somehow, just like the movies.

It was all thanks to Steve Harrington.

-

                                                 Six Months Later

You stood outside the banquet hall, cigarette between your fingers as you watched the ash fall to your feet. You were leaning against a brink wall and listening distantly to the muffled pop music that was playing inside.

It was Dustin Henderson’s Bar Mitzvah, and you and Steve had been asked to be in attendance.

You had been his babysitter throughout your high school years, and always had a fondness for the curly headed kid. And when you were both roped into the police station on behalf of a giant monster and an evil lab, it caused you two to grow closer. You cultivated a protective nature over him, and even after his mom decided he was too old to be babysat, you would still drive him anywhere he needed if he called and asked. During some of these drives over the past six months, Steve had tagged along, and Dustin had grown to enjoy his company. Which earned you both not only an invite, but seats at the birthday boy’s table.

The night was a good time. Steve was in a great mood, chatting with Dustin and his friends, and even Nancy and Jonathan a bit- The four of you have reconciled nicely after you and Steve got together. Throughout the night, Steve’s hand was either around the back of your chair, fingers brushing over your bare arm, or planted on your thigh. You loved his soft lovely touches and how he always insisted on giving them to you in public.

After the kiss, that was now known as infamous to you, your mother, Steve, Nancy, Jonathan, and anyone else who desired to hear your story, you and Steve had started dating. Confessions of undying love and eternal happiness weren’t swept under the rug or forgotten after that night. Yet, they were choice reminders of how devoted you were to each other. You couldn’t imagine not being together after something like that.

And things were great, and every possible synonym of the word. It was strange at first, to be so happy with the person you had always wanted, but now it felt like second nature. It didn’t feel weird to plan your future to together or look into housing options for you two when you went off to college. It was an agreed upon thing, both verbally and nonverbally, that neither of you planned on losing the other anytime soon- if ever.

You had found the love of your life, your soulmate. Some people never had a great love, let alone found the person they were supposed to end up with. And you had gotten lucky on both fronts. For some, this all would seem far too soon, the two of you were only eighteen. But the road to you two still felt like an eternity. You both had had enough waiting in that regard, so no moment was gone unappreciated or taken for granted. You were both just excited to have a lifetime of memories to make with each other.

“I wondered where you slinked off, too.” A voice said a little ways away.

“Just needed a minute.” You said holding up the hand with your cigarette in it, turning to watch Steve approach you.

“I would have snuck out here with you, y’know?” He smiled, leaning his shoulder against the brick when he reached you.

“You were chatting, I didn’t want to pull you away.” You replied.

“I missed you,” You smiled and playfully rolled your eyes at his remark, “I did! When you’re not next to me, I feel like half a person.”

“You are so cheesy.” You shook your head, your grin widening.

“Yeah, but you love it.” Steve smirked, shrugging his shoulders.

“Yeah, I guess I do.” You sighed dreamily, turning to your adorable boyfriend.

You went to drop your cigarette, but Steve caught your wrist, taking the small smoke from your fingers and inhaling deeply before stomping it out himself. He blew the smoke over your shoulder before stepping closer.

You placed your hands on his chest and migrated one of them of his thin tie to smooth it.

“God, you’re so beautiful.” Steve said under his breath as he watched you.

In gentle moments like this, Steve could only stop and stare at you. And thank the universe and every God in existence that you were his. In these moments, sometimes his overloading thoughts of adoration would slip out.

You looked up at his through your lashes and blushed, moving forward to bury your face in his chest. Something you often did when Steve would swoon over you.

“Wait,” Steve said, catching your cheeks before you could nuzzle into him.

“What?” You asked.

Steve looked down at you, pink cheeks and small dainty smile. It felt like he needed to take a beat and memorize this quiet moment, music humming in the background and your happy, tranquil expression. He was a giant sap when it came to you and he made no effort to hide it, but sometimes, when your beauty astounded him in such a way that made his knees weak, he kept to himself. He didn’t let these thoughts slip out, he just wanted silent reminders for himself about how wonderful you really were.

“I love you.” He said, moving slowly to your lips.

“Mm, I love you, too.” You said, smiling growing as Steve placed a gentle kiss to your lips.

“Ready to go back in?” Steve whispered to your lips after he pulled away.

He silently hoped you would opt for a French exit so you two could fool around in the backseat of his car, but then you would both miss the little trick up his sleeve.

“For a bit longer, we haven’t seen the chair dance yet, and I know Dustin would kill me if he was up there and didn’t see us singing along and smiling.” You said, moving your hand up to your cheek to take Steve’s and hold it down by your side.

“Okay, let’s go back in.” Steve nodded.

He shifted your hands so he could lace his fingers between yours and you both headed back to the entrance. As you rounded the corner and got closer to the double doors, the music became clearer, and you noticed the song change to a familiar one.

“Oh my god! You are so cheesy.” You stopped in your tracks, laughing.

“What? This wasn’t me. Dustin loves this song.” Steve feigned innocence.

“Oh, yeah. I’m sure he loves the Carpenters.” You rolled your eyes playfully.

“Well, this sure is a coincidence. We better head in so we can appreciate it.” Steve said as you watched try to hide his knowing smile.

“Fine.” You said dramatically, and Steve began to pull you inside.

“Actually,” You stopped him, changing your mind, “Let’s appreciate it from here.”

You closed the small gap between you, setting your hands on Steve’s shoulders as his instinctively were placed on your waist.

He smirked, “Who’s cheesy now?”

“Still you, but I have my moments.”

“I guess I’m rubbing off on you.” Steve puffed out his chest as you two slowly swayed and you laughed.

“Yeah, I would say so.”

A comfortable silence fell after that, as you were pulled closer to Steve as you danced, swaying to the soft beat of Close To You. Steve knew that it may not been playing at your wedding, but for now, he knew it was enough.

Because obviously, he would make it up to you later. He was going to make sure that this song was the song you first danced after you both said I Do’s.

And like the silent language lovers have, you knew this too.

And you were looking forward to it.  

-

tags: @kaliforniacoastalteens @tanovic54321 @chels-nyc @hoebliss @remorsefuul @keejan-turtle @captaintightpants58 @fandomsfavorite @comefindmesomeday @random-ffandom @thingsweneverhave @nowvoyagerruinedme @rachrose8 @midgardiansworld @cats-on-the-beach @secillyj @kyaramaya 

[serahsanguine]

The Experience of London Film and Comic Con

I will be writing this a blog typestyle. Starting from the beginning of the day and ending up with the journey home. All spelling mistakes are my own and probably has punctuation missing.  I am hoping by writing this it helps sink in or so I have a documented record of what happened for a future purpose. (also I was asked) so the morning was a very early start 3 o'clock wow lol. the train from Derby to London was pleasant either if the steward/stewardess was sick there no freshments/ drinks on the journey there.   so when I arrived at St Pancras international finding which tube was slightly stressful as I get so confused by maps, it's unreal. but I asked for help and they were lovely, telling me where to go and it helped so much as I was a nervous wreck (The first time of many throughout the day)   when I finally arrived at Paddington station, around 8 the beautiful Mags @Magdalena357569 helped me out and find the bus route to Olympia which in its self-was a nice journey going past the Winston Churchill pub with some beautiful flowers on and around the building but I did wonder how they kept them all so vibrate with this heat wave we have experienced. arriving at Olympia was fun even though me and mags had no clue where we were going we arrived near the gold passes entrance and were told to wait there to be moved around to gate H, it was sunny and warm I honestly thought I was going to burn because of that's what I do in the sun.   anyways that was an s shape zigzag thing which took a good half hour before we were moved to gate H. when we actually got into the Olympia who would have guessed more queuing, we picked up our diamond passes which were by the first letter of Surname (There should have been signs!) so we had to queue twice.  when we finally got our David Duchovny Diamond pass we got our day passes scanned and more Zig-Zaging through at least this time it was moving well for a time anyway kept stopping every known and again but never mind. that took another 30 minutes to get through before we actually got into the venue. once in the venue the was a quate little coffee shop over to your right where we met half the hang of ladies that we were going with. once accomplished we no cat Caroline Poole @CarolineRPoole Sam @medicaldoctxr Elaine myself and mags and Elaine's dad  (Who is amazing by the way with a great sense of humor) we went to find David Duchovny signature place and oh boy was that fun. The Olympia if you have never been, is huge and I mean huge the maps available are very misleading. so we worked our way upstairs to find where most of the signatures were being held and guess what no DD so we asked a steward who hadn't a clue so we walked around like lost puppies not having a clue where to go. We walked through to where the photo were being held still no DD we kept asking steward's who hadn't a clue so, in the end, we got very very lost and hot and sweaty.  (There should have been a map to tell you where everything was just saying!. I was told there were maps but I never found them)   after about an hour of looking, (and a Very angry me) we finally found DD signature stand (Finally) we had lost some of our group oops lol. anyway, we were waiting for the queue to get that (Now me sam and Elaine) where I was able to get a copy of Miss subways (OMFG I finally got a copy) the line for the autographs wasn't that long. The actually autograph what a buzz first off I was so nervous, shaking everything but wow what an experience, David talked to me like we actually had a conversation he asked who was the signature so I said, Sarah and he asked with an h now I must have pronounced the h weird because he pronounced h differently to me obviously him in an American accent and me in a British accent or something like that. (later sam told me its because he couldn't get over it was with an h lol) but I was like yes it Sara with an H and we laughed about it.   let me tell you it was a surreal experience actually talking to the man that is your idol. for as long time. he was so nice and his voice was slightly deeper then I was expecting but soothing at the same time. and he was very pleasing to the eye if I don't say so myself.   Then I waited for Sam you had an amazing Brick Photo and he was stunned that it was his dog and he signed it to Samantha from Brick - David Duchovny and omg was she happy we got out of the enclosed both and she was having a meltdown in true sam style. we waited for Elaine and then had to sit down and calm down from our adrenaline rush (one of many).   once we had finally calmed down I needed to go outside. And wouldn't you know it? Me and Sam got lost again (They Need to sell Damn Maps just saying) so we finally got the exit and got stamped and were told we could come back in the same door (Yes i believed the lie)  so we finished up outside to find out we could not go back through the door we came out off and had to go back around to the start gate H bagged searched and stamp recognised with had to do the damn zig-zag thing again (oh the joy) luckily lot fewer people so only took us about 10 mins. we meet back up with Elaine and her dad we got the message that our friend and not so stalked dd on video which was so funny because he didn't realize (some bodyguards they were) so it was becoming near the time for photos (We got lost again) once the photo booth were found we had more queuing and more panicking and more adrenaline pumping through our systems.  and more zig-zag snake things (a regular occurrence) me and Sam were so excited and nervous but it was so fun. I got asked several occasions where I got my bag from and if it was for sale I am sorry guys I did it my self. one in the photo booth square we gave our bags to the photo people and waited for our time to have a photo taken. I was talking to Sam about I would just be happy with a hug all I wanted and then it was my turn.  when he spotted me he was like it Sarah with an h I was like yes it is. he asked how I was, I said I was great and asked him how he was. And we had our photo taken. His arm (Those arms are to die for) around my shoulders (i'm small) has hand touched my X-file tattoo (which at the time i didn't realize) and I put my head on his pectoral muscle/shoulder/neck area it was so warm and amazing (True Fan fic style) when finished I said by and went and waited for Sam and got my photo and bag and left the photo booth area. he was wearing dark jeans grey top black trainers with orange laces. (Wow damn he was hot)   So me and Sam (we lost Elaine)  talked about what happened and he remembered her because of the Brick photo and she tripped on his shoe (only sam) and she doesn't like her photo but in my opinion, she looks amazing. we live streamed (which can be found somewhere on my twitter profile.) to try and calm down and breath and because I promised I would we eventually found Elaine and her Dad and a hotdog stand yay. by this time we realized we had 4 hours to kill (WOW). food eat time to find an exit for some fresh air. we got lost again and if it wasn't for Elaine's dad we would have been lost a long time, we went past some of the best cosplay I have ever seen. I even found the TARDIS which for me as a Doctor Who fan was amazing, there were Daleks and everything including Cybermen cosplay. once done with our outside actives and back in we went in the search for merchandise and we found @underthefloorborads stall with @chimera work and yes i bought one and omg it amazing I also found a pop store with Fox Fricking Mulder (very rare indeed) and I found another beautiful poster for the X-Files and I even got an MSR pillow (no blankets I really want a blanket)  that killed about an hour - two hours looking for everything and getting lost so many times and a damn sight lof of walked we found somewhere to sit down and just rest.   so after this, me and Sam went to the talk and were in the third row I cam to know the Deadpool, Orville, the x-files trailers by heart waiting for David to appear on the screen. and wow what a talk it was so many good questions asked like Gillian question, would he work on other project directing, writing. what genre of work he finds scary or hard. different ways his name been pronounced, and if he had any European work coming up, Insta questions I have one complaint tbh and it's not David's fault but where the talk was placed was horrible and the sound of the questions plus the sound of David was not very clear. so basically the speakers were terrible. but all in all I got some good photo and David made me laugh and he's swearing is so funny and erotic he honestly so nice and sweet and one amazing person in general. I have meet so many people off twitter that was amazing to finally meet people that I have talked to over social media was surreal and amazing. so all together it was a long and exciting day meeting David was a dream come true. he nice and amazing. just an amazing all around person. the con its self-was amazing some amazing stalls. some amazing people met, amazing items being sold and very exciting and fulfilling journey. home-bound well I got my very first uber like that its self is an x-file especially after seeing David it gave me season 10 flashback.  that was nice and pleasant and quite cheap tbh. so i arrived at Paddington subway and had an anxiety attack (joy not) all sorts of stuff going through my head about missing train etc. but once arrived at St Pancras International I seemed to half calmed my self down I was 45 mins early for my train. so I waited and waited and finally got on the train home. I had a table all to myself I'm a lucky girl like that and it kind of hit me but I'm still not fully there even today writing this. i heard one of his song on Spotify and cried because i had actually met him (i think it was tiredness it had been a long day. I got home about home at 10 pm.   so that's

me recall of yesterday thanks for reading. any question just ask me on twitter or tumblr.        

[lalka-laski]

Do you know anybody who is ambidextrous? A kid I went to middle school with. It's weird what memories stick with you for no reason. Have you ever been 4-wheeling? Mhm What’s the weather been like today? It's the first reasonable day in what feels like forever. It was only in the 60s this morning on my walk to work and what a glorious walk that was! What was the last exam you sat for? Couldn't even tell ya Will you be attending any weddings in the near future? Jess's in a few months!! And then mine next year :)

Do you currently have any unread text messages, and who from? Nope Speaking of text messages, what colour is your cell phone? Rose gold Do you live anywhere near the woods? Kinda Would you ever consider a career in the tourism industry? It doesn't really seem for me When was the last time you used q-tips? A week or two ago How does your hair react to humid weather or rain? It gets a little frizzy but it's not too bad What’s your favourite flavour of iced tea? Lemon Do you understand music theory? Not even a little

How many hours of sleep did you get last night? 6 or 7ish? Are you expected to act professionally at your job? Define "professional"? I have to be cordial and professional with patients, sure. But I'm friendly and casual with my coworkers. Infomercials: entertaining or stupid? Entertaining and calming! I love throwing on home shopping channels to soothe myself What’s your favourite brand of energy drink? I don't drink them. That would be a NIGHTMARE for my anxiety. Do you have (or have you ever had) acne? I actually have a fucking planet-sized zit on my eyebrow right now. I never struggled with acne as a teen but my 20s have been a different story Why did you click to take this survey? I usually peep the length of a survey to see if it's worth my time. Short surveys annoy me for some reason. If you have glasses, have you ever smashed them? Smashed, no. Broken, yes. How do you get new music? Buy or download or what? Spotify Have you ever sent someone an abusive text message? Whaaaa? Do you require a lot of time to do things or are you quick? Oh I need lots and lots of time. More than the average person for most tasks, I'd say. What will be the next concert you attend? Luke Combs, who I don't even know. But I was invited, it's cheap, and I love live music so Turn the nearest television on, what’s on? I don't have a TV here How often do you “wake up on the wrong side of the bed”? Most days. I'm very bad at waking up and snapping myself into reality. Can you rap? L O L. Just look at me What do you usually order when you’re at McDonald’s? Grilled cheese if they'll serve me it, or an egg & cheese breakfast sandwich. Are there any textbooks near where you are right now? Maybe some medical textbooks upstairs What’s the time? 9:28 How’s your body temperature right now? I'm comfortable. I'm wearing a sweater but also have my desk fan blowing on me which seems unnecessary but, lol Do you use Celsius or Fahrenheit? Fahrenheit. Though I believe America really needs to make the damn switch. What was the last thing you got a really good deal on? A few things from Wegmans Have you ever studied any ancient societies? In school, yeah. Do you like to wear long, dangling earrings? I don't wear earrings at all What was the last reason you took medicine? ANXIETY Do you exercise regularly? I'm trying to make it more of a habit What is your coffee of choice? (flat white, cappuccino, etc.) Just plain brewed coffee. But I like an iced latte for fun now and then. Do you pay any attention to your country’s politics? It's kind of impossible not to Are you feeling worried about anything right now? I mean, I live in a permanent state of worry Are you a gossipy type of person? As much as I want to act like I'm not, I totally am When will your next meal be, and do you know what it will consist of? Lunch when I get home from work. No clue what I'll have though. It's slim pickings in our kitchen... What’s your opinion on your in-laws, if you have any? I'm very, very blessed to have the in-laws I do. They've been nothing but welcoming, supportive, and affectionate from the beginning. I truly feel like I gained a second family. Have you seen your best friend today? Glenn, yes. What can you smell right now? The coffee I'm drinking Any important birthdays coming up? Glenn's on Saturday! Then my goddaughter's the day after. Then Kathleen's & mine the following week. July is a busy month for birthday ha. Fireworks: yay or nay? I like how they look but the sound (and sensation) scares me Do you have any plans for the rest of the day? I work 'till 12 and then the rest of my day is wide open. Maybe I'll do some reading. How about tomorrow? Any plans? I have some returns to make at the store and I have to stop at my parents' house. But beyond that... whole lot of nothing. Do you know how to do your own laundry or does someone else do it? I do my own If you could eat or drink anything right now, what would it be? A piece of pizza would be dope right now. But when DON'T I want pizza?

What colour are your headphones? Blue Think of the last long car trip you had, where did you go? I haven't been in the car for longer than 40ish minutes in a long time

Do you have a Twitter account that you use regularly? Yep Have you ever seen a horseshoe crab? They’re scary, right?! I haven't but I'd probably think it's cool Are there any new movies that you’d really like to see? Not really. I'm not a movie person If you could play one instrument flawlessly, what would it be? Piano Do you overthink a lot of things? Please

Is there anybody you miss but can’t see again? Nora When was the last time you had a hangover? Couple days ago. The hangxiety was BAD

[multi-lefaiye]

Mystic Messenger Warriors AU - Chapter One

After a million years, here’s the first real chapter! (Since the previous one was a prologue, heh.)

In this chapter, we meet kitty Jumin, V, and Elizabeth III! And another... mysterious face... :3c

(Trigger warning: there is a depiction of a character having a minor anxiety attack in this chapter, as well as depictions of an animal character who has been injured and is in pain.)    When the cream-colored cat opened their eyes, they found themself in darkness, unable to see a thing. They briefly panicked, trying to stand, only to find their legs were too weak to hold them as they collapsed with a weak mewl.

   Through their dulled, muddled senses, they felt another cat settle down next to them. The stranger’s long, soft fur brushed against their own pelt, warming them and calming them down. A rough tongue rasped against the top of their head and their eyes fluttered shut.

   “You’re alright, little one,” the strange cat meowed in a sweet, soothing voice. “Relax. Go back to sleep.”

   As abruptly as the warmth of the strange cat arrived, it faded away as the cream-colored cat drifted into slumber.

   Slowly, the cream-colored cat awoke again. They groaned as they felt a dull pain throbbing throughout their body, especially in their head. Their eyes, when they opened them, were raw and ached.

   They tried again to stand, only to stumble and collapse. Even moving their legs the slightest amount filled them with sharp, stabbing pain like claws. The cream-colored cat rested their head on the soft earth below them, letting their eyes fall shut again as they grimaced.

   Trying to get a sense of where they were, they sniffed the air. They were met with a wide variety of aromas that assailed their senses, though the smells were strangely familiar to them. The cream-colored cat frowned and wrinkled their nose.

   “Ah, I see you’re awake,” a ragged voice murmured. Momentarily forgetting the pain, the cream-colored cat snapped their eyes open and looked in the direction of the voice.

   Sitting nearby was a thin, blue-grey tom with dark stripes and a white belly. He was gathering a pile of leaves with shaking paws, glancing at the cream-colored cat in concern. They narrowed their eyes at him, twitching their tail.

   “Where am I?” they asked, wincing at how raspy their voice sounded. “Who are you?” The tom abandoned his leaves and moved closer to them, limping with each careful step he took.

   “You’re somewhere safe now, you don’t need to worry,” he told them. He sniffed at their head, ignoring the way they flinched away from him. “I’m not quite sure what happened, but I can see you are hurt. I was just mixing together a poultice for you.” He gestured towards the pile of leaves with his tail.

   “As for my name,” he said as he carefully made his way back to the pile, “you can call me Blueheart.”

   They flattened their ears as they watched him pad back to the pile and start to chew the leaves into a green pulp. When he was done, he spread the pulp across thick pads of cobwebs, which he placed on their aching limbs and body.

   “The nettle leaves should clear up the swelling,” he murmured, “and I added horsetail, comfrey, and dock to ward off infection. The cobwebs are to hold everything in place for now.”

   “Comfrey isn’t for infection,” they corrected him, twitching their whiskers in confusion. Blueheart blinked at them, pausing as he wrapped their foreleg.

   “Of course,” he said, “my mistake. I was hoping to soothe any potentially broken bones… how did you know that?”

   “Doesn’t everyone?” the cream-colored asked. “I thought it was obvious.” The tom hummed and finished what he was doing, looking contemplative. This close, they could see that his eyes were somewhat clouded and unfocused, covered in old scars like spiderwebs.

   “What’s your name?” he asked them. They opened their mouth to reply but quickly closed it.

   “My… name?” they asked. He nodded and they looked down at their paws, trying to think.

   Even as they concentrated, they realized they couldn’t remember what their name was--in fact, they couldn’t seem to remember anything.

   When they closed their eyes, all they saw was a pale face and sunken, lifeless eyes. A horrible cat with a grin full of long, sharp teeth.

   With nothing beyond that.

   Their breathing began to pick up as they came to this realization, alarming Blueheart. He rested his tail on their flank, which only agitated them further.

   They tried to stand only to stumble again, their legs trembling too violently for them to find their balance.

   “Hey, hey,” he said soothingly, “it’s okay. Are you alright?”

   “I don’t know!” they cried, their voice cracking. “I can’t remember! Where…” They looked around again, growing frantic, but their environment was a blur.

   A green, leafy sprig was suddenly thrust into their face, and without thinking they hissed and attempted to back away. Blueheart huffed in frustration and concern.

   “Eat this,” he ordered them. “It’ll calm you down.”

   They glared at him warily, their blood roaring in their ears and their fur standing on end, but decided that, at the moment, they didn’t have a reason to mistrust him. The cream-colored cat tentatively sniffed the plant, noting its dry scent.

   Thyme, their mind supplied reflexively. For anxiety. They made a face but obediently bit off a few of the leaves and chewed them, sighing at the plant’s minty taste.

   They didn’t calm immediately, but felt slightly less frantic as they swallowed the leaves. The tom was watching them expectantly, seemingly relieved as they calmed down.

   “Better?” he asked. The cream-colored cat nodded mutely, looking down. “Now, what can you remember?”

   The cream-colored cat furrowed their brow and closed their eyes, trying to focus. As they breathed, they could smell the herbs the tom had stored throughout the den.

   Poppy, marigold, parsley… that came to them easily enough, but when they tried to remember anything about themself, there was nothing…

   Well, not entirely. They remembered that pale cat, whoever he was, and... a stranger with long, soft fur comforting them after they fell. The cream-colored cat furrowed their brow and opened their eyes, peering up at Blueheart.

   “There was a cat there after I fell,” they said hesitantly. “They had really long fur, and… and I think they were comforting me? I… remember a really sweet voice, almost like birdsong.”

   Blueheart stiffened, looking at them in confusion and fear. Wondering if they said something wrong, the cream-colored cat shrunk under his gaze and looked away.

   “Do you remember anything else about this stranger?” he pressed, urgently. His clouded eyes were wide and desperate, full of an emotion they almost couldn’t quite place.

   The cream-colored cat shook their head and meowed, “No, I’m… I’m sorry, I didn’t see whoever it was.” He relaxed slightly, but there was a strange look of grief on his face.

   “My apologies,” he murmured. “I was just… wondering.” He straightened up now, sighing. “This was something I was worried about. With head injuries, sometimes cats forget things.”

   Blueheart’s voice was calmer now, though there was a clear edge to it and he seemed to be holding something back.

   “Will I get my memories back?” the cream-colored cat asked. They avoided looking at him, afraid of what they might see in his clouded eyes.

   “I don’t know,” the tom said truthfully, but not unkindly. “I’m afraid… I’ve never seen a cat who lost as much as you have.”

   Something in the cream-colored cat’s heart ached, grief at losing a life they may never know. Before they could really dwell on the grey tabby’s words, a scrabbling of tiny paws alerted them to someone else approaching.

   A tiny molly with fluffy, white fur pushed her way through the ferns at the den’s entrance, carrying with her a plump mouse. She shook herself off and met the cream-colored cat’s gaze with shining, excited eyes.

   “Good morning, Snowpaw,” Blueheart murmured, his voice fond. She meowed cheerfully in response, though her response was muffled.

   The cream-colored cats watched her warily as she approached and set the mouse down in front of them. She rolled it closer with one small, white paw.

   “Hi!” she chirped cheerfully. “I got this for you to eat, since Blueheart said you were gonna need to keep your strength up so you can recover!”

   “Thank you,” the cream-colored cat replied automatically, glancing suspiciously at Blueheart. He seemed to not be paying attention, a faraway look in his eyes.

   They returned their gaze to the white molly--Snowpaw, that was her name. She beamed at them, her face alight with an expectant, slightly nervous energy.

   “Are you feeling okay?” she asked. Before they could reply, she continued, “I’m the one who found you, you know? It was really scary and Crowfall said I shouldn’t get my hopes up that you’d survive but you’re awake and here and I knew taking you to Blueheart was the right idea!”

   She seemed to stop talking only because she ran out of breath, panting a little as she peered up at the cream-colored cat.

   “Er… thanks,” they murmured, lowering their ears. “For that, too, I mean.” She grinned at them in response, her tail high in the air.

   “Of course!” she meowed. “Oh! I forgot to introduce myself.” She dipped her head politely, almost as an afterthought. “My name’s Snowpaw! What’s yours?”

   The cream-colored cat froze, frantically racking their brain once more in an attempt to find their name. It felt wrong, somehow, to tell Snowpaw they couldn’t remember, or to try and lie to her.

   Despite having only just met her, the cream-colored cat felt a pang in their heart when they looked at the sweet little cat’s smile. There was something… familiar about it. They tried to pinpoint this fleeting feeling, but it slipped through their paws like smoke.

   They were startled by another cat slipping into the den, a black tom with a white belly. He had a displeased frown on his handsome face as he looked between the cats gathered in the den.

   “Snowpaw--” he began.

   “I was giving our visitor prey!” Snowpaw explained proudly, grinning up at him. “Blueheart said prey helps everyone feel better!”

   The black-furred tom hummed, then looked over to the cream-colored cat. They avoided his gaze, unnerved at the blatant disapproval in his eyes.

   “I see you’ve already done that,” he said. “Now, you have duties to attend to.” His voice was hard, leaving no room for argument.

   Despite the black-furred tom’s harsh tone, Snowpaw’s small face determined as she pouted at him.

   “But I already finished cleaning the elders’ den and hunting,” she protested, not at all withering under his gaze. “What else is there to do?”

   “There’s always more to do,” he replied, only just barely not growling. “Snowpaw, leave Blueheart alone--he has his own work to do.” Snowpaw looked as though she was going to protest again, but instead she sighed and rolled her eyes.

   “Fine,” she said. She nodded again to Blueheart and the cream-colored cat before stalking out of the den, her steps stiff and her face set in a grumpy scowl.

   “She wasn’t bothering anyone,” Blueheart said gently, limping over to the black-furred tom.

   The tom looked at him with a neutral expression, twitching his whiskers. Still, his eyes softened when he looked at Blueheart and he sighed.

   “Snowpaw has to learn to listen,” he said, though there was little force behind his words. “And you must be able to work without anyone running under your paws.”

   “She was just trying to help,” Blueheart said. “I don’t mind it, truthfully.” Before the black tom could protest, Blueheart smiled and added, almost teasingly, “You should go after your apprentice, my friend. I think she’ll want to have a long talk with you.”

   “I suppose,” the other tom agreed with a huff. He dipped his head respectfully to Blueheart. The cream-colored cat couldn’t be sure, but they thought they saw a flash of concern in those narrowed eyes.

   The black tom directed a curious, slightly disgruntled look at the cream-colored cat. Hesitantly, he said, “... I hope you recover soon.” With that said, he turned and slipped out of the den.

   “Who was that?” asked the cream-colored cat, staring after him. They flattened their ears. “Does he not… like me?” Did they do something wrong?

   “Crowfall doesn’t trust outsiders,” Blueheart explained with a reassuring smile, “but I told him you need to get well before I’ll allow him to question you.” He sighed, his expression strained. “And knowing what we do about your memory, perhaps I should advise him to wait…”

   The cream-colored cat furrowed their brow, looking down at the mouse lying on the ground before them. It wasn’t anything particularly remarkable, but their stomach twisted and growled at the sight of it.

   “Eat,” Blueheart urged them gently. He had the same faraway look in his eyes as before, they noticed. “When you’re done, you can rest again.”

   They weren’t sure if they wanted to sleep, unsure what they might find in their dreams, but… Blueheart seemed to know what he was doing, they reasoned.

   The cream-colored cat bent their head and did as they were told, curling their tail loosely around themself.

   In the back of their mind, too quietly for them to truly register, the same cheerful, sweet voice whispered to them.

   “Rest now,” it said. “You don’t need to worry about a thing, little traveler.”

[hellomygf]

when my own words aren’t enough

okay so you know that one direction song that’s made of other song titles, “Better Than Words”. same concept here except not really and you just listen to the lyrics of the songs LMAO. anyways sometimes the words of others can convey better what im trying to say to you so enjoy 19 songs that do so. i highlighted some of the lyrics that really made me think of you/us. click on links on then click on togepi

Love Like This - Ben Rector

“Never used to get excited to sit here in the silence Holdin' on to somethin' the way I'm holdin' you Didn't used to know how fast time walks and runs and flies by I never thought I'd feel so deeply, but damn, I do

i never knew i could feel so happy just doing the mundane things with you. walking and talking, going out for drives, sitting and eating food. time goes by so fast when im with you. i always wish time would slow down and let it stop for awhile just so i can have a couple moments of just us yeno? you make me want to spend more time with you even when we just finished spending a whole evening together. there’s so many new feelings that ive experienced since ive been with you and i cant wait to keep feeling new ones 

All I’ve Ever Known - Eva Noblezada and Reeve Carney (Hadestown)

All I've ever known is how to hold my own But now I wanna hold you, too

for the past couple years i learned how to love myself again and how to be okay with being alone. alone doesnt mean im lonely but it did mean that i had built up my walls again and letting someone in new again was so scary. you made it seem okay though. you made sure that when i was opening up to you and being vulnerable that it was okay to do so. that i wouldnt be hurt and that i was safe. i learned how to love romantically again and learned what it feels like when you arms wrap around me and hold me. it’s currently my favourite feeling and i dont think i ever want it to end

roses & sunflowers - Timmy Albert

You're a flower that's blooming every season with spring I fell in love with your roots, the whole you, everything

i mentioned before that falling in love with you was like how the seasons changed. like you know it comes but it’s always different. this isnt my first time in love but it’s most definitely something very different. a good different. im in love with every part of you. from the way you make your puns to the way you buy me things that show you care (my favourite foods, my ddr adapter, and most recently itch cream) to the way you sing in the car to me to how you tell me about your good and bad days. i love it all!

Favourite Girl - Jesse Barrera and Tori Kelly

My baby, She still drives me crazy After all this time, You better believe that Nothings greater, She still makes me better After all this time You're still my Favorite Girl

BONUS:  I remember when, You didn't know how to kiss  (hehehhe) Now you know me well, And nothing compares to this 

best girl. favourite girl! is maxbean hehe jkjk.. maybe. we both do some whack ass stuff but there’s no one else i would rather be having fun with than you! you make me better in every way. you encourage me to keep going even when days are rough. you support me on my good and bad days so im here to remind you too that im here for you always okie?

No Matter Where You Are - Us the Duo

I will stand by you Even when we fall I will be the rock, that holds you up and lifts you high so you stand tall

whatever the world throws at us, whether that be a pandemic or people who dont support us, im going to uplift you and us in every way that i can. i want to be a pillar of strength for you and show that even though am baby and that i am smol that i am a girlfriend that you can count on to show up by your side. i got your back from now till however long

Tattooed Heart - Ariana Grande

You don't need to worry about making me crazy 'Cause I'm way past that So just call me, if you want me 'Cause you got me, and I'll show you, how much I wanna be On your tattooed heart

honestly this is just one of my favourite love songs ever so i just wanted to add it into the playlist lmao

Lemonade - Jeremy Passion 

She's so beautiful, sometimes I stop to close my eyes She's exactly what I need She's my smile when I'm feeling blue She's my good night sleep when my day is through yeah

i say this all the time but i love looking at you oh my god skjskjs like YOU. ARE. LITERALLY. MY. TYPE. lmaooOOSKSKJkj. other than physically being my type you really do embody everything that i need in a partner. kind, compassionate, genuine, good communicator and listener. you make sure that i dont fall asleep sad and you make sure that im okay on my not so good days. i love you so much

I Was Made For Loving You - Tori Kelly ft. Ed Sheeran 

A stranger's hand clutched in mine I'll take this chance, so call me blind I've been waiting all my life

i took a chance on someone i really didnt know anything about but my god i think it’s the best thing that ive done 

Ger Here - Sam Smith 

I don't care how you get here, just get here if you can

this reminds me of the time you bused through a snow storm just to study with me at utsc. also just in general whenever you make the effort to come all the way here to my house just to spend time with me and even then you end up driving us downtown or to different places too. you are truly the definition of “if there’s a will, there’s a way”

goodnight n go - Ariana Grande 

Oh, why'd you have to be so cute? It's impossible to ignore you Why must you make me laugh so much? It's bad enough we get along so well Just say goodnight and go

“why do you make it so hard to say good bye” something we both always say haha. one of these days we’ll have a night together and we’ll fall asleep together and wake up together too. one day! very excited for that day where we can say good night and stay

While We’re Young - Jhene Aiko

I'm tellin' everybody you're mine and I like it And I really hope you don't mind, I can't fight it

[...]

I'm giving you my heart, please don't break it Take it and lock it up and put me in your pocket, love

i tell everyone youre my girlfriend because haha im so happy to be dating you and telling everyone you make me so happy so yeno just a subtle flex. it’s also so scary fully giving myself to someone physically, mentally, and emotionally. to trust that you will safeguard my feelings and that you wont hurt me but i know youre scared of the same thing too, i guess even more so since im your first girlfriend. i promise i’ll protect your heart too. water it, nourish it, and let it grow into something even greater

Blessed - Daniel Caesar 

And yes, I'm a mess but I'm blessed to be stuck with you

ive told you since the beginning that i didnt want to bring you into this until i could fix and improve my mental health. i think that way of thinking was me associating my ability to love with how healthy i am. that’s not fair because i am capable of loving others even when im not at my 100% best. im so very grateful that you are there with me when im dealing with my mean/negative thoughts and that you can help ground me and be there to let me ride out my sad days. 

Runnin’ Home to You (cover) - Jake Spencer 

Can't say how the days will unfold Can't change what the future may hold But, I want you in it Every hour, every minute

i can see you in my future for a long time my love. i hope you can see the same as well 

Please Keep Loving Me - James TW 

For all the mistakes I'm making, I don't mean (I don't mean them, I don't mean them) For all the little things That I fail to see

please be patient because sometimes i wont be able to get things right the first time around. i tend to be a little slow when doing things and i come quite late to events. so even on days when i may be difficult to be around, please do your best to keep loving me and i’ll do my best to make it easier again.

Nothing - Bruno Major

There's not many people I'd honestly say I don't mind losing to But there's nothing Like doing nothing With you

no need for an explanation.. -_- 3rd date. d&b. mario kart. fan... hhh but i mean guess this also applies just in general whenever we play games and i lose lmao. honestly though doing nothing with you is still so fun for me. from making puns in a grocery store, to watching movies on my couch, to watching the sunset together by the water. nothing is better than doing nothing with you :)

Teenage Dream (cover) - Boyce Avenue 

Before you met me I was alright, but things Were kinda heavy You brought me to life Now every February You'll be my Valentine, Valentine

i think this applies to both of us in a sense that we were (and still are) both dealing with some not fun stuff when we first met each other, but we have each other now to get through it together. at the time, it had already been a few months since my falling out with you-know-who and just a couple months since i had decided to get help for my mental health stuff. i remember feeling so touched when i first told you about everything because you had made the conscious effort to reassure me and soothe me by holding my hand and looking at me when i got anxious talking about it. that was the moment i knew that you would be someone special in my life and someone i wanted to keep for a long time as well.  so im hoping that next year (and for the next foreseeable years) you can be my valentine haha

Only Us - Lauren Dreyfuss and Ben Platt (Dear Evan Hansen)

I never thought there'd be someone like you who would want me So I give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go But if you really see me If you like me for me and nothing else Well, that's all that I've wanted for longer that you could possibly know

while i have grown up with some great and amazing people who have made me feel so loved. ive also grown up and have come across some not nice people as well. they made me feel like i wasn’t worth it or made me feel small and not wanted. it’s not a nice feeling being shut down when youre just trying your best to get to know others or when you talk about the things you like and people become uninterested. i guess you can say that’s what contributed to why i dont want to show my whole self yet to new people at first. im scared that i will scare them away and they wont like me. so when you, a total stranger at the time, wanted to get to know me more, genuinely enjoyed my company, and wanted to spend more time with me, i was like “wow someone new actually LIKES me for ME?”. you dont understand how much it means to me that you made the effort to get to really know me and to still make the effort now to make me feel comfortable so i can be my whole self around you. i cant thank you enough. you make me WANT to talk about what i like and share my joy with you. thank you for letting me be me.

Take on the World - You Me at Six

I can see, see the pain in your eyes Oh, believe, believe me and I have tried No I won't, I won't pretend to know what you've been through You should've known, I wish it was me, not you 

i know there’s things you dont want to talk about and things you really cant talk about. knowing all the pain and hurt youve gone through has made you tough and strong but it sucks thinking of everything that youve had to face on your own. i wish i could take that pain away from you if i could. take it, ball it up, and throw it so far away that it never hurts you again. it is so very unfortunate that the saying goes “why do bad things happen to good people”. you dont deserve any of that. a good person like you deserves a life filled with unwavering support from those around you and days filled with boundless joy. i cant change the past or what other people think of you but what i can do is to do my best to make sure that even when you are hurt that you still feel loved and you still want to fight another day. you can do it, and i’ll be with you now for every new challenge that you face. your’re not alone

She Keeps Me Warm - Miranda Lambert 

She says I smell like safety and home I named both of her eyes forever and please don't go

[...]

And I can't change, even if I tried Even if I wanted to My love, my love, my love, my love

those first two lines are just so very nice to listen to. 

you and i both know that we cant change who we are and who we love. i think we’ve both had countless nights and thoughts of wanting to be straight so we wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences of loving the same gender. i know this past month has been especially hard for you though. im here to remind you that there’s nothing you need to change about you my love. i love you just how you are. your family may not understand it yet but i hope they will. i hope they understand that you make others around you feel so welcomed and loved. that you are the most selfless person that a lot of us have met. that you stick up for those who are mistreated and that you care for them. i wish they could see just how deeply you love and i feel like ive only scratched the surface of what your love is and can be. i want them to see how much i love you too and how you have made me a better person in all aspects. my parents, my cousins, and friends have all said that they have seen me change and become a softer person. my cousins say that you compliment me in the best ways and sand down my rough edges. i hope one day soon that they see all the love that emanates from you and that they can support you at least even a little bit. i hope they can see that love is love is love and that they learn to love all aspects of you too.