#if I'm just an imitation like she says... then what purpose is there to me being alive?

[heartshattering]

I wish I felt real. I wish I wasn't just an imitation. I wish I knew how to be an actual person instead of "just a copy".

I'm so sick of living like this.

[jinnie-ret]

im not sure if this is an ask but ive been thinking about skz with a younger sister reader who debuts as an idol !! imagine her being in newjeans since skz already enjoy their songs (looking at changbin and lee know 👀) I think it would be so cute !! them cheering her on and singing her songs at award shows !! or even them mcing together or meeting at isac 💗💕💖

its just something I wanted to share and I enjoy your posts so much I thought I would drop it here to see what you think 😭😭💗 feel free to write about it tho if you would like !!! 🫶🫶

so say it ditto

stray kids x sister!reader

genre: fluff

content warnings: none

word count: 0.7k

summary: the boys support their sister's venture in joining newjeans

I hope you enjoy! Sorry it's a little bit crappy haha, but if you did enjoy or wanna be added to my taglist then let me know! :)

MAIN MASTERLIST

Being the youngest of your siblings, and all of your older brothers having debuted in a Kpop group together, called Stray Kids, you had definitely felt the pressure to debut. Your family was complicated, yes, with your mum having multiple different partners in the past, the reason why most of your siblings had different surnames, sans a few of you.

Meaning Lee Know's dad had been out of the picture until your mother rekindled her relationship with him and that's how Felix came about. But she had been staying with your dad, the one you shared with Jeongin, and you think she was settled now.

With this stability it felt like the pressure lessened yet you wanted to show your brothers too that you could do what they do. You could copy them. You could imitate them. Like ditto.

They were so proud when you debuted in NewJeans, alongside your fellow members, Hanni, Haerin, Minji, Danielle and Hyein. They'd be constantly sending messages to their fans over bubble and texting you directly as well about how excited they were for you.

Some fans thought that it had been done on purpose. You were already known in the public eye as Stray Kid's younger sister, but now you had created an image for yourself. And quite frankly, with how viral your songs had gone, you didn't need that label attached to you to be successful.

And your brothers never failed in reminding you just how viral your songs were. Whether it was through tiktoks they uploaded or if it was clips you had seen of them singing karaoke. Not to mention the videos they'd send into the groupchat.

"Cuz I-I-I-I! Know what you like boy!!!" Changbin yelled into his phone, before Lee Know and Han came up behind him in the video and screamed the second line.

"Thank you, brothers, I can no longer hear," you deadpanned into your own phone camera as you sent back a video of your own, which was meant with either laughing messages or mocking ones.

But those are brothers for you.

You couldn't even avoid their teasing when you were working too. You were MCing for Music Bank, where they had just performed their new song 'S-CLASS'. And now it was time for you to interview them.

"Welcome back to Music Bank! We're joined with Stray Kids who just performed their new song, 'S-CLASS', here they are, jaaa," you introduced them and made a cute little awkward sound, one that resembled Seungmin's 'Staaa'.

Chan and Felix, who were stood right next to you, did their best to muffle their laughs as the camera panned to them. You were thankful for that because it meant you could fan your flustered face.

"Jaaa, 1, 2, 3. Step out! We are Stray Kids!" Chan led your brothers into their introduction, making fun of the little sound you made.

"Hyunjin ssi," you began professionally, making the others gasp.

"Ssi? I'm your brother!" Hyunjin gasped, and you looked panicked at the camera before seeing the crew laughing as well.

"Yahhhhh! They pranked me saying I needed to be formal!" you whined as you crouched down with your cue cards.

"Ok, let's try this again, welcome Stray Kids oppas!!" you smile this time and the interview went much more smoothly, yet you still sighed with relief once it was over. It had been even more difficult this time as you were handling it on your own without your usual co-host.

"Wow that was the hardest interview I've ever done! And we've had all of Seventeen sunbaenim here," you rested your hands on your hips as you looked up sternly at your brothers from backstage.

"Just because our little Y/Nnie was nervous," Seungmin ruffled your hair, making you groan as you pushed him away.

"Hey, hey, she's still new to all this," Felix helped you flatten out your hair.

"I'm doing good though, right?" you looked up hopefully, not joking around this time and wanting their approval.

"Are you kidding me? Of course you are!" Han burst out.

"Your songs are so addictive as well, you're really going on a good path here," Changbin nodded as well.

"We're all proud of you," Jeongin nodded patting you on the shoulders.

"You're doing so great," Lee Know nodded too.

And that was exactly what you needed. Even though it was an awkward funny interview, having their reassurance meant the world to you.

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @backintomykpopphaseagain @sakufilms @hanjiquokkaaa @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky

[connan-l]

YOKAI: Since you hate men, please make me your shiki. Hey, Nanase.

TAKUMA: You're popular as usual. NANASE: For God's sake... They're all fooling around, just because Matoba isn't here. They may be imitating women, but they are all bothersome monsters.

—Volume 21, Special 17.

It's funny that sometimes I think saying Nanase is canonically a lesbian is reading too much into it given the only evidence we have is One scene that's just subtext and coding (and okay her wearing that suit, that's a very soft butch gay suit. And then there's her fascination for Reiko but I don't think that really counts, and that's mostly developed in the anime sadly), but then I reread that moment from Special 17 and I'm like. umm. Midorikawa what was the purpose of that scene if not to tell us she is Very Gay lmao

I just love the implication that apparently Nanase being a lesbian is such a widely known fact within the exorcist community that yokai literally take the appeareance of women to flirt with her. Like okay. Even Takuma coments that she's "popular as usual," which granted he's just teasing her about the yokai flirting with her here but still. What's your history Miss Nanase 😭 Do you think when she was young she was a ladykiller who went around seducing all the female exorcists so that's why she has that reputation lol

Also I'm kind of mad about how the official English translation did that specific scene:

YOKAI: We don't like men. Won't you please make me your servant? C'mon, Nanase.

Like. At least they still come off as flirting with her, and yes, the original Japanese can be a little ambiguous — but honestly that's pretty clear the yokai are not talking about themselves but that they're talking about Nanase.

YOKAI: 男は嫌いなんだよう だからさあ 式にしておくれぇ ねぇ七瀬

"Otoko wa kirai nandayou" make little sense to translate it as "WE don't like men"... They're clearly talking about Nanase disliking men here, especially within the scene's context given what Nanase says next? She basically states that those yokai took the appearance of women to "fool around [with her]," so what would be the point of doing this if not because Nanase "hate men"?

It pisses me off a little, like c'mon. I don't really think it was deliberate but that's still annoying because it does somewhat change the gay subtext. At least recently they still kept Shinobu's flirting with women intact so I hope that was still some unintentional mistake on their part but well.

I hope the new anime season adapt this scene properly too and that the sub/dub don't mess it up (the anime do tend to give Nanase a lot of screentime so I'm curious about how they'll adapt this tbh.)

[fa-by]

I LUV IT

Hi babies and dear Anons 👋🏼, me again 🙃. I posted a new Q&A yesterday, and @camrensrealbish (btw hi, bud 👋🏼😄) asked me in the comments if I could create a post just for I LUV IT's two analyses.

@camrensrealbish: “Hi Faby, I love the interpretation of I LUV IT. I luv it, I luv it, I luv it 👌😅. I think it explains so well that this era is not surface-level at all. That thought through lyricism and symbolism is definitely still here. And how we’re so eager to dismiss hyperpop as stupid and without substance, be it for our convictions about femininity or sexuality, or even caution because of how other people use women’s sexuality. But when done purposefully it just shows how showing someone’s sexuality in this way *can* be empowering and authentic. And I think this is the case here. Can you please post your song commentary in a separate post, please? I would like to share it properly 😘”.

I originally wanted to post the two analyses as I did here now, but I couldn't because Tumblr has limited the possibility of posting more than 30 pics and I don't know why the fuck 😤. So thank you, dear 🤗. You gave me the excuse to be able to do it 😉.

Enjoy 😊.

Hiii to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I hope you're good too and about your ask, sure 😉.

So. I LUV IT ft. Playboi Carti released on March 27, 2024, is the first single for her fourth LP: C, XOXO. It's a hyperpop/experimental pop song and it samples Lemonade by Gucci Mane and interpolates Cockiness (Love It) by my queen RiRi (Rihanna). The studio recording with Carti was completed on Dec 17, 2023: (Carti's instastory)

Let me tell you something, this song was meant to shock. She pulled a Yes, and? and it worked 😎. For those of you who don't know what I'm referring to by that, I meant that Yes, and? was Ariana Grande's single for her album Eternal Sunshine and it's a diva house/dance-pop song, which was a different and unexpected genre especially then comparing it to the rest of the songs in the album when it was later released. It's a great song, but if it weren't for the concept that connects to two other songs, it would have nothing to do with the rest of the album musically and sonically speaking. It was a calculated idea to make it different from the rest. It's very smart and it's a good strategy for both a comeback and an album. I feel like I LUV IT is exactly the same thing. An impactful comeback was needed and this, together with the platinum blonde and the new era in general, served the purpose. The song was meant to be talked about for better or for worse. And guess what? Mission accomplished 😜.

This song is not for everyone. There are those who loved it right away, those who hated it and still do, and there are those who hated it and then slowly loved it. In reality, most people hated it and then loved it 🤣. I personally didn't hate it but I didn't love it right from the start either, not gonna lie. I just liked it 🤷🏻‍♀️. But after the third listen? Bouncing ass, tongue out, aaaand I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it 🤣!! This song is definitely a grower! The more you listen to it, the more you become addicted to it 😍.

But anyway. Unlike the video, the lyrics talk about sex. So let's get started. Oh and, of course, I won't include Carti's mumbled Atlanta rap or as his fans say, the Cartinese, simply because he wrote his part.

***Btw, I can no longer listen to Carti’s “Oh, you on the road now? - Oh, you grown now? - Oh, you too grown now” without bursting out laughing 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣. I can't help but hear Nas' imitation of Carti's voice in the HE KNOWS music video🤣🤣🤣. For me, those three sentences have now become just one repeated X3: “Oh, you on the floor now” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣***

Oh oh oh, last thing before starting. If you're a prude, LEAVE NOW. Skip the whole lyric analysis and go straight to the music video analysis. The song is about sex like I just said and I therefore won't hold back from explaining certain things, okay? I warned you 🙋🏻‍♀️. I don't wanna see complaints in the comments as happened years ago. Thank you.

Song

Verse 1:

“Supersonic, in your orbit”

So, supersonic. One word from which two derive: super and sonic. Super: above the rest, better than the rest. Sonic: derived from the Latin ‘sonus’ which means sound. Super-sound. Basically a loud noise, a sound/sonic boom that (the actual meaning of supersonic:) breaks the acoustic barrier by traveling at a speed faster than the one of sound. A flight can be supersonic. As well as a missile and even a gun bullet.

An orbit is an ever-changing path one object in space takes around another. An unscientific example? A dog with its favorite toy often orbits their owner insistently because they want to play with them. Speaking from personal experience here 🤣.

***Oh and, lil fun fact. In prostitution specifically, orbit was, and perhaps still is, a code word for oral sex***

Ultimately, “Supersonic, in your orbit” means that Mila is this supersonic boom, this let's even say supersonic shock that orbits around her prey. As I've said many other times in my analysis, Mila likes to use wordplay in her songs and this is basically her artistic way of explaining sexual provocation. She's provoking her target.

“And I’m bad, diabolic”

It's giving intense energy and mischief out of the ordinary 😜. She knows she's good at it (provocation). She has a goal (to sleep with her) and succeeds because we have the aftermath of her intent in the next sentence.

“Bottle rocket, on the carpet”

Her favorite lyrics because many people didn't grasp the meaning 🤣. Definition of bottle rocket: a firework typically consisting of a cylindrical case that is partly filled with combustible material and fastened to a guiding stick which may be placed in a bottle to control the direction of the rocket's launch.

In this case, in sex, bottle rocket is the representation of cuming hard in an explosive way.

Rockets have a phallic shape, so the first thing that's assumed here is that it's the sperm that's on the carpet, also because the song acts as straight 🙄, but where's the deception? Even girls can give someone a bottle rocket. How? By being an explosion and not a normal female cum orgasm, with female ejaculation also known as squirting.

Ergo, she's talking about herself. This song is not about sex with a guy and I can even prove that with the next sentence.

“Threw it back and he caught it”

Round two, doggy-style position. Movements: “Threw it back” her ass “and she caught it” with the hands by placing it directly back on the face aka mouth-tongue (clue about the lil fun fact I mentioned earlier) or by directing the entrance of the cave of wonders on the dildo (since Camren loves toys so much 😜🤣🤭). But, given the “he” because, again, the song acts as straight 🙄, the meaning should make you think of the guiding on the dick. But no. As I said before, I can prove it.

When guys cum, it literally takes them a while before they can go again. Some need 10/15 minutes, others hours or directly the next day because they literally physically can't. It's rare anyway that they manage to go beyond the second round (unless they're in the midst of adolescence and are like 14/15 years old 🤣), and those who miraculously can make it, also last very little and their cum is also very little. And mind you, I'm not saying these things to belittle men. I'm not making anything up. It's the pure truth. Not only have I experienced it myself (cause yes, hi 👋🏼, I've been with my gf for 3 years but I'm bisexual and I've had relationships before her), but these are facts that you can even look up if you don't believe me.

It's obviously not the same for all guys and they're all different, but us girls literally need 5 seconds or nothing at all to recover, and we don't have limits like they do. Unlike males, we females can have multiple orgasms. Sexual arousal and orgasm are possible again right away. So no. It's impossible she was talking about a guy.

If she was really talking about a guy, it's impossible that immediately after his Bottle rocket, on the carpet (yet another proof that Mila was talking about her cuming, her squirting) he didn't need some enough available time for round two (Threw it back and he caught it). Let’s move on 💪🏼.

“I go soprano, baby, go down low”

Soprano in music is the highest note, so in this case, going soprano means she's screaming with pleasure. And in her euphoric state, she guides her partner back down there into her buried treasure.

“And when he leads, I gotta follow”

The movements. Like in dance. In partner dancing, there are those who lead and those who follow. They're designed roles to facilitate the movements. The one who leads manages the body of the one who follows and decides the dance steps and direction of travel from time to time.

The thing that makes me laugh about this part is the “when he leads”. “When” 🤣🤣🤣. Because she's the top and she's the one who leads most of the time because Laur's the bottom (even though they're both also switch) so when Lo leads, when, sometimes, occasionally, I gotta follow 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Oh Mila 🤦🏻‍♀️🙈🤣.

“I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral”

She feels out of control (spiral) because the ending is so beautiful that it almost makes her lose consciousness (blackin’ out).

“I need you now and tomorrow”

And forever.

I’d also like to add a deeper meaning of sex to I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral – I need you now and tomorrow. Although she said the song is about sex, she also said:

“Part of that cocktail is also the emotional drama between you and that person, and the chaos and butterflies and nerves and passion. It’s unsustainable and not peaceful and exhausting, but also, I LUV IT.” – “Now I feel kind of lonely and small and weird, but at the same time, I’m an adult and I feel so strong in other areas of my life, but not this one. There’s just the wrestling of those feelings without it being kind of neat or in a box. You can’t really say that it’s a sad song, you can’t really pin it down. It’s just kind of me wrestling with these feelings and me kind of being really present on a particular feeling and exploring it. I feel like a lot of songs on the album are that”.

So going deeper, “I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral” indicate her anxiety. Being on a spiral or simply spiraling, is an emotional state that rapidly worsens in a way that becomes increasingly difficult to control and often leads to short-term periods of anxiety or depression. Aka her OCD gets triggered. Which by the way, I remind you that for her leads to obsessions and repetitive thoughts. And in a certain way, we can also see it in the repetition of the same phrase in the chorus.

So here she's saying: 1) I’m blackin’ out, aka I'm going crazy, I'm freaking out (connection/thing that reminds me a lot of “Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind?” Bad Things [analysis here (eleventh ask)]) 2) I’m on a spiral, aka I'm anxious, distressed, worried, fearful. Why? Because I don't wanna lose you aka 3): I need you now and tomorrow. This alludes to the desire for connection and intimacy that goes beyond sex.

Both meanings (sexual and deeper) however indicate the intensity of her uncontrollable and erratic emotions towards as she said “that person” Lauren. But she doesn't care. “It’s unsustainable and not peaceful and exhausting, but also, I…?” She…? She what? Sing it all together🎤🎵🎶👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼:

Chorus:

“I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, ooh

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it”

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7…...

27.   27……

27 times, huh? 😜 What a wonderful coincidence! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 of all the numbers, precisely the 27. Would you look at that 🤣🤣.

No seriously tho. The words have to fit and respect the tempo of the song, but coincidence or not it's still funny for me 🤭.

Post-Chorus 1:

“Lemons on the chain with the V-cuts (X2)

Lemons in their face, watch ’em freeze up (x2)”

This part was sampled from the song Lemonade by Gucci Mane. Lemons are basically yellow diamonds (known as Canary Diamonds) cut/engraved in the shape of the letter V (an expensive method of cutting diamonds).

The meaning behind that would be that people would “freeze up” in shock at seeing this display of wealth and success, these lemons/diamonds, “in their face”s. They're oh so surprised and intimidated that they even freeze up for this luxury lifestyle thrown in their faces.

Umm………. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Do we really care? Of that? Okay 🤣. About something she didn't even write? Something that she literally took copied and pasted into the song? Pfft, okay. Can we move on? Thank you 🤣.

Verse 2:

“Super twisted, sick addicted”

Twisted: someone who's mentally or emotionally unhealthy or disturbed: sick. --> Sick addicted: someone who's unable to stop doing something as a habit. Ergo, she's saying that she likes/enjoys it a lot and wants to spend as much time as possible doing what they're doing: sex.

Nonsexual meaning: She's using strong words to describe not only herself but also what their relationship is like. They may be twisted, and addicted, and toxic, and all the other things we've seen in their songs, but no matter what, she/they LUV IT, cause they luuuv each other.

“Kiss me hard, someday you’ll miss this”

A dig for all those times they break up or take breaks.

“Meteor shower, in your power”

What's a meteor shower?

The meteor shower is nothing other than what we commonly call shooting stars. These are obviously not stars, but meteors. Meteors are the aftermath of asteroids and comets that ORBITATED the SUN.

Asteroids (celestial bodies composed of rocky bodies) and comets (celestial bodies composed of frozen gases) become meteoroids when they fragment. In turn, meteoroids ignite and disintegrate when they enter our solar system, becoming meteors, ergo shooting stars. Those that don't disintegrate and manage to touch the earth's ground instead become meteorites.

How does a meteor shower happen?

The meteor shower happens when the earth, in its ORBIT around the SUN, crosses an area in which fragments of rock and dust (meteoroids) lost from a comet or an asteroid (celestial bodies made of rock, dust, and ice coming from the outermost areas of the solar system) are concentrated. When an asteroid and a comet heat up as they pass close to the sun, they reach such temperatures that they fragment even more (meteoroids) and when these very tiny fragments enter our atmosphere, they ignite and burn due to friction by generally developing tails, luminous trails (shooting stars) until they vaporize or leave debris (meteorites) behind.

Lil fun fact: some meteorites found on earth come from the MOON 🤭🤣. Most come from destroyed comets and asteroids, but some come from Mars or the moon.

So, after this compelling little science lesson, I can explain what Mila means by “Meteor shower, in your power”.

It's very simple actually. A meteor shower is a celestial event. She's comparing their sex to this astronomical phenomenon, the “Meteor shower”. The “in your power” is due to the fact that Lo’s the one who’s leading as we saw in “And when he leads, I gotta follow” in the first verse.

“Seein’ stars, oh my God”

The retina sends light signals to the brain by making sparks, stars, or flashes of light appear in the visual field. When does this happen? It usually has to do with the head. You've made a movement too fast, like standing up suddenly, or you've been hit on the head, or you're about to lose consciousness, etc. These are all negative aspects, but we're talking about something positive here. Sex.

This amazing sex (Meteor shower), this second round (Threw it back and she caught it), brings her to another orgasm (maybe even another Bottle rocket 🤷🏻‍♀️😏) during which she feels so bewildered, so dizzy, and she experiences this very surreal feeling that overwhelmed her by even Seein’ stars during it. Seein’ stars: to climax, to achieve orgasm.

This can very well be connected with ““I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral” She feels out of control (spiral) because the ending is so beautiful that it almost makes her lose consciousness (blackin’ out)” that I explained earlier.

Oh and, the “oh my God” was her, um 🤣, comment, to express that ending if it wasn't already obvious enough 🤣.

Bridge:

“Slow down, baby”

All of Playboi Carti's “Uh, uh, uh, uh” before Mila's “Slow down, baby”, at least to me, indicate the thrust of the act. Again, he “sings” them to prove the song is straight 🙄, but we know the truth. Anyway. The “Slow down, baby” means exactly that. Either Mila's settling down from the end of round two and needs a tiny bit more time to go as fast as they were going before, or she simply wants this third round to go at a slower pace than the previous one, or better yet, Slow down, baby like in ‘stop, it's my turn now’ (to lead).

Another proof that this doesn't talk about sex with a guy. As I said before, it's rare for guys to get beyond 2 rounds, so let alone a third one 🤣. Sorry, not sorry, but it's literally the truth 🤣.

And that's it. I luv the fact that Camila's lyrics in this song talk about sex but she uses words that still perfectly capture the magnetic attraction between the two of them. I luv how she's quite unapologetic about it. And I LUUUV how she also used these cosmic references in general, but above all, how they anyway hide in a certain way the two important celestial bodies in our sky and solar system: their representation, aka the moon and the sun.

Now let's move on to the music video where everything that could go wrong happens 👍🏼🤣. What is she trying to convey here? Let's find out.

Music video

Opening scene. A Robin Hood wannabe who takes coins from his pocket.

Three empty stationary police cars in a driveway while an aspiring lumberjack cop is, for what initially appears to be, cutting down a tree to prepare for winter.

KhaleesiMila enters the scene 5 seconds before she starts singing. She looks like she just came back home from the night before given her outfit and her slightly messy hair. But not her makeup. The makeup is perfect of course because it's still a music video 😉.

She enters the kitchen with a chocolate cake in one hand while with the other she nonchalantly tosses her heels in a spot where it's very usual for us girls to leave them 🤣: at the doorway or in the bedroom on the kitchen counter.

She starts singing and eating a piece of chocolate cake at the same time.

At the same moment as the first bite of the cake, we have a really well-done perfect transition of her spitting her mouthguard out in a somewhat snobbish but challenging and provocative way because she's ready to fight against a professional female wrestler.

Soon after we have a 3-second split shot of her chewing the cake in the kitchen again and her and Carti in the gas station, before cutting to a long one where we have the reappearance of the archer from the opening scene.

From this moment on, all the small shots, the little introductions that we initially had, are explained a little bit more extensively with longer scenes and shots. Still messy 🤣, but longer.

Hospital part 1

Now that we see the surroundings, we notice how Legolas wannabe is in the corridor of a hospital and that the coins he took from his pocket in the opening scene, he needed them to get something like a chocolate bar from the vending machine. After taking it, he walks back to a white-dressed Mila who's sitting with an arrow in her heart.

A flash passed before my eyes and for a moment I was back in 2019. Why? Liar. The cover art picture of the song portrays her as an angel with wings.

Camila explained that Cupid strikes her with his bow to make her fall from heaven and unmask her, by making her not so angelic anymore because she's actually a liar who's hiding something, that is a secret [hmm, I wonder which one 😏😎🤫🤐🤣]. This whole story created for the song inspired the visual for the entire album Romance (whole album inspired by the surrealism of a museum of love stories in heaven).

So I asked myself, what is this? A connection to Romance but direct to Liar? No. I'd say more that she paid homage to it since even though the lyrics are about sex, the ideology of the video is about their toxic relationship and how she knows it's toxic but she LUVs IT anyway.

Anyhow, I guess that at the arrow in the heart scene, you all thought that the Green Arrow wannabe was Cupid. Same thing here, mostly because of the connection with Liar. I initially thought: “Oooh, it's Cupid! Cupid shot her with his arrow, ergo she's in love. But she's lovesick, and because of this the hospital: love - sick”. Then I saw the whole scene (plus the ending which I'll explain, well, at the end 🤣) and I realized: “Nope. Not Cupid. Not Cupid at all. Hi, Lauren 👋🏼”.

***Let's be clear. This is a music video. A creative and imaginative way of portraying objects, people, and scenarios in general. Yes, it's Camila's POV, but Lauren isn't that bitchy and dickish in real life. Okay? Every artist does it. It's art. Literally, as the word implies.***

So, back to the scene. Rewind. Lauren Hawkeye wannabe takes the candy bar from the vending machine and goes back to Mila. *This is the point where I got to before.* He doesn't even look at her. He just sits. Contrary to her who follows him with her gaze as he sits down and she also turns her head to look at him one more time before looking straight ahead.

That chocolate bar or whatever the fuck it is, it's not even for her. He took it for himself without even having the thought of taking it for her or taking something for her as well. I mean he's like, he's there for her. He went with her and he accompanied her also because he hit her with an arrow. Like yeah, we know that. We can see that. But even though he's there for her, he at the same time doesn't acknowledge or address her at all. He's just there. Present and not. Waiting for her turn.

While she, even smiles with her mouth closed as he's returning to her, but it's a smile I'd say forced. A kind of smile that masks how uncomfortable she feels. It's a wan smile that shows no energy or enthusiasm. It's a stoical ‘grin-and-bear-it because you're used to it after all’ kind of expression. That smile alone makes you understand how ‘normal’ this situation is for her. She's so used to it that it's a standard routine for her. It doesn't come as a surprise.

In a situation like this one, in a hospital, with an arrow in the chest/heart, anger or pain or both reactions are what you expect to be shown by her. But no. She's just there. Waiting for her turn.

Meaning behind this? The arrow in the heart represents a metaphorical way to express the idea that love can be both powerful and overwhelming, capable of causing joy and pain in equal measure. In this case however, the arrow in the heart doesn't represent a tender sweet and romantic symbol of Cupid and Valentine's Day. It represents a heart-piercing emotional pain. In this case, that arrow is nothing more than a heart-stopping arrow through the heart.

Fight & Dogs

In the next scene we have the professional female wrestler again. Like when she spat her mouthguard out in the opening brief shot, Mila continues to have this defiant attitude *she’s so hot there btw 🤤🥵*.

She shows herself as very self-confident with this superior aura and this cockiness that gives off an ‘I can kick your ass’ vibe. All of this flies out the window the moment the wrestler makes her move against her and Mila shits in her pants and starts running away 🤣.

At the same time that she starts running, we have another perfect transition of a running dog.

Then we have another very brief shot of her continuing to eat the cake in the kitchen, before alternating the fight with the wrestler and not just one dog running randomly, but her being chased by no less than three dogs 🤣.

These two scenes are connected on the part of running for your life. Literally as far as the dogs are concerned 🤣. And speaking of the dogs, the scene represents the danger and risks of being in love with someone. It represents all the feelings of chaos that go along with it. It represents feeling afraid and helpless with a constant internal battle of anxiety and fear. Being chased by dogs is stressful, scary, and unpleasant, BUT, it's even adrenaline-pumping and the depiction of it, is basically like an excited nightmare that represents not knowing where things are leading. Running into the unknown. She's scared but she does it anyway because the journey is electrifying.

Going back and talking about the scene with the wrestler, the running scared to avoid the actual physical fight is the representation of avoiding the confrontation. And that's something we know Mila does thanks to both her and Lauren. We also know this because in 2016 she herself said that she avoids conflicts with people. It's a vice/bad habit that she's always had.

BUT, no matter how much she tries to run away and avoid this confrontation, it always happens. Sooner or later, she eventually always finds herself having to face the problem unwillingly or not. The representation of this in the video is when she's captured. We actually see this section almost at the end of the video after Carti’s “🎵tursin-eh-oh-and-halloh-eh-halloh-eh-halloh-I'm out o-controool🎵” 🤣🤣🤣. We see the wrestler chasing and catching Mila, which leads to the headlock wrestling move.

Now let's talk about this section with the headlock that we see both at the end and currently in the first chorus of the part of the video where we are. Specifically this one here. We see several headlocks in sequence, but the one I want to focus on is the second one, where the wrestler is enacting the chokehold with only one arm.

Like, umm… 🤭 The way you caress her arm and look at her, and the way you sing “I luv it” with your tongue sticking out in that seductive way 🔥.

I mean... Mila, honey…😏 I see you! 🤣

No wonder in the BTS of the video she said: “I've been the most excited for this scene all day”. Hmm 🤔, I wonder why is that 🤣🤣🤣. Just as I'm not surprised by the other clue she gave in the interview with Bru On The Radio when talking about the scene: “It's like a little homoerotic. It's cool! But um- * she bursts out laughing by looking to the side* -yeah”.

Homoerotic: 1) (especially of art, literature, drama, or the like) using symbolism, allusions, situations, etc., that invoke sexual attraction or activity between people of the same gender. Example: There's definitely some homoerotic subtext in that book. 2) having sexual attraction to people of one's own sex or gender, especially when that attraction is repressed. Example: To say a man has a “streak of lavender” means that he has homoerotic desires. 3) relating or involving sexual activity between people of the same sex. Specifically: marked by, revealing, or portraying sexual desire between people of the same sex.

I have nothing else to add, Your Honor. I have nothing else to add 😎🤣.

No but seriously now. She doesn't act that way during the other headlocks. In those, she tries to fight back and somehow defend herself by trying to free herself. We see her react in a rather normal way to that type of situation. But in that particular hold? Nope 🤣. We can see how much she likes it. How attracted and aroused she is. The reactions she has during the other headlocks represent her external side, what really happens and what she lets see. While in that particular one, we see the toxicity of what happens in her inner part. The “I luv it” to the choking which on a larger scale, represents her toxicity in loving the pain. Even though they're fighting and she hates the confrontation and is in pain, she LUVs IT anyway because she luvs HER.

***Mind you that this is only an additional representation and seen in a more generic way. I don't see it as fitting to the theme of the music video as much as the one I've already explained to you now.*** A broader meaning could also be the representation of how the love for Lauren is so strong that she can't fight it. We've seen this other times in the lyrics of songs like This Love [analysis here (the penultimate ask)] and Señorita [analysis here (the last ask)] where Mila was having an inner struggle because, on the one hand, she wanted to protect her feelings, and on the other, she couldn't resist her. Ergo, the scene where she tries to fight this love, the professional wrestler, but she loses and thus is ultimately defeated.

House

Next scene we have her continuing to eat the chocolate cake plus this guy who comes in and rides around her house on his motorcycle and she does nothing.

Let's dwell for a moment on her eating.

Where have we seen something like this before (besides the reality of everyday life)? In every damn movie and TV show since forever 🤣. Someone is sad for some X reason like they had a fight with someone, or they're going through a breakup, and what do they do? They eat either something chocolate or ice cream. 90% of the time it's something chocolate related. Why? Because when consumed, it releases endorphins in the brain that produce a mild feeling of euphoria by mimicking the feeling of being in love. This is why chocolate is called the love drug. It gives comfort and joy and when we're down, we emotionally crave chocolate because we're unsatisfied with something.

Her eating chocolate cake in this case is an indication of unsatisfied desires and emotional needs.

Now let's go back to the guy with the motorcycle. He's destroying everything in his path and she's simply there, munching on her cake unbothered.

He's causing a mess but she doesn't even try to stop him. She doesn't get angry, she doesn't scream, nothing. And why? Because as I said before by talking about that type of smile in the hospital, this situation is ‘normal’ for her. She doesn't react simply because she's used to it. The chaos of their relationship doesn't surprise her also because, I mean, it's been years and years.

The house depicts her head and what happens in it. Him destroying the house is a representation of how she sees his bringing chaos into her life and their relationship. On a deeper level, her not reacting to the destruction of the house represents the fact that she's so in love that she ignores bad and toxic behaviors. The whole scene represents the toxicity and destruction that a relationship can bring into your life but you keep trying because you LUV IT. Lauren brings love, happiness, passion, euphoria, but she also brings chaos which also encompasses mess, confusion, disarray, whether all good or bad. We also saw this type of example in the lyrics of Consequences [analysis here (penultimate ask)].

Successively we have a mix of scenes, among which are the cop one of the opening scene, the car one, and the bathroom one.

Palm tree

We can finally see that this aspiring lumberjack cop is chopping this palm tree because Camila is on top of it.

Now, I have two interpretations for this. The palm tree represents Lauren/their toxic love in both interpretations.

N° 1, she's stuck on the tree. Being stuck represents her way of saying that there's no way out of their toxic relationship even though someone (represented by the cop) or more than someone (since there are 3 police cars even though we only see one cop) tries to get her out of this situation.

N° 2, the one I see as the most truthful, the most right one. She's not stuck on the tree. Mila is Walzing it 🤣🤣🤣 (for those who don't know, Dinah used to call Mila ‘Walz’ and here you can find the reason why the nickname was born). Her koalaing the tree also represents her co-dependence. She's clinging to it and doesn't want to let go.

She's on the very high point of the tree; visual meaning: danger. If she were to fall, she would die or be seriously injured. But she doesn't care. She's ready to risk her life. Deeper for the representation: her love is so strong, that she's ready to risk it (“I'll risk it all”, as we've already seen in Used to This [part of the interpretation that you can find in the analysis of Only Told the Moon here]). She's ready to risk everything/risk it all even if she were to lose her heart and if it were to affect even her mental and physical health as we've already seen in the lyrics of Consequences.

Even in this case, the cop represents someone or more than someone in her life who tries to get her out of this situation. They use extreme ways to do this, representative of getting her down: cutting down the tree. Why? Why doesn't this cop who clearly knows that this person is experiencing some kind of problem call the fire truck to bring a ladder to save her since that's what's normally done in these situations? Or he doesn't go directly and find one himself? Why doesn't he talk to her and try to reason with her to get her down?

Because it's not the first time this has happened. The cop (her family, her friends) is so used to and tired of seeing their on-again, off-again/cycle/loop/circle, that he decides to help her in a more brutal way in this case. Representation: chopping down the tree. It doesn't matter tho. It doesn't matter that other people try to help her in hard ways. She doesn't wanna lose her, and therefore she depicts how even though she knows it's a toxic relationship, she's clinging (codependent) to it and continues to love her because she doesn't want to depart/separate herself no matter what. Reason why we even see her singing “I luv it” while she’s glued to the tree.

Car

Speaking of falling (and how these two scenes are connected). Instead of that tree, here we see her having fallen over a car. Part of the car is destroyed, as is she. It's a representation of being in love and how it can sometimes destroy you. But again, we even see her singing “I luv it” because she doesn't care.

She doesn't care about falling and being crushed by/for her. They've taken a lot of risks over the years. They've suffered, they've hurt each other, and they've fallen down and gotten up every single time. And those wounds, in the video are represented as real wounds with cuts, bruises, gashes, and all that jazz.

She doesn't even care when we, the public and the fans, see her destroyed like that. We've seen it many times, especially after years and years spent growing up in the public eye. By this, I'm obviously referring to the woman who's immortalizing the scene with her phone.

Although that, it's also a representation of what would actually happen in today's world: instead of helping or calling an ambulance, the woman is filming or taking pics.

Bathroom & Bedroom

Contrary to the connection that the tree and the car scenes have, this one is connected to the ones of the dogs and the professional female wrestler.

We first see her in the bathroom. She looks in the mirror and even lifts her shirt up to look at her belly. Let's say normal things that we all do, and so far, nothing strange. Then we also see her perplexed and undecided tho (when she sighs with her finger in her mouth). And we see her rehearsing. We see her change her expression to a determined one and make the gun gesture with the fingers of her hand.

***Sorry but I have to tell you guys 🤣🤣🤣. I found it extremely funny how she made the gun gesture with her fingers precisely at “someday you’ll miss this”. THIS and bam: fingers out 😏😎🤣.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry 🤣🤣 one day she'll miss, what, Mila? Your gay fingers?🤣🤣🤣 Oooooookay 😉🤣***

Back to normal. All that represents her mentally preparing herself, and for what? For what we then see in the bedroom. Before heading there, we can see her expression of determination but more importantly, we can see her pissed-off expression.

She walks into the bedroom with this imaginary automatic machine gun that she uses to shoot and destroy the bed. As she does that, the footage also shows us the rest of the room, and what do I spy with my little eye 🧐? A frame hanging on the wall. And what's in that frame? Five boys with the word ‘sorry’ written on their backs.

Wait a second, wait a second… FIVE???? 😲 Five as a reference to Fifth Harmony? 😱 Five as in 5H because it's a hidden clue to confirm that she's talking about Lauren? 🤯 WHAAAAAT??? 😵

Yes, guys, yes. For those who haven't noticed, the answer is yes. Camila doesn't do things shittily. There's always meaning in the things she does, whether it's hidden or not. And if anyone tries to tell you otherwise or something different about that clue, don't be fooled. Why 5? Explain the 5 otherwise? They could've used a thousand different things like, for example, an apology/sorry note left on the bedside table, or even just one guy with sorry on his back in that frame since all of this is supposed to be straight and about a guy 🙄. But no. They used FIVE of them specifically.

Moving on.

The rehearsals she was doing in the bathroom that we later saw lead to the destruction of the bed with the imaginary automatic machine gun, were all due to Mila being pissed off about something Laur had done. Something we know thanks to the not-so-hidden apology message in the frame. Now I don't know about you 🎤🎶but I'm feeling 22 🎶🎤 sorry but I had to 🤣 but I know that even though Camila is magical, she doesn't really have powers 🤣. So even though this is the representation of her being pissed at Lo, she didn't actually shoot the bed. It was all in her head. She was just imagining doing it. Yeah, she was angry, but we also know that she'd run away in reality to try to avoid conflicts as we saw in the scene with the dogs and in the scene with the wrestler (aka Laur herself), during which, however, we also saw that the wrestler captures her and that therefore Mila was then forced to face.

Hospital part 2

During the mix of these three scenes (Palm Tree - Car - Bathroom & Bedroom) just discussed, we have two small shots of Mila in the hospital. The first during “oh my God” and the second during “I luv it”.

We see her looking in one direction before saying “oh my God”. It's an exasperated “oh my God” because no one's assisting her yet.

She sings “I luv it” by tapping her finger to her temple in rhythm but we can see how impatient she's starting to get for the wait. Yeah, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, but she's irritated and frustrated.

Gas station

Mila and her friends pull over into this gas station. A guy with long hair immediately approaches to serve them, but instead of refueling the car as we normally expected, he does it to them. He takes the pump and fills their glasses with gasoline, even though we know very well that it was actually nothing more than “some disgusting water-down apple juice”, according to Mila herself.

All this during “Lemons on the chain with the V-cuts (X4) - Lemons in their face, watch ’em freeze up (x4)” Oh well, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade Camila Cabello drinks gasoline 🤣.

Sorry, sorry 🤣. Joking aside now.

Drinking alcohol produces euphoria. It's stimulating, exciting, and lowers inhibitions and control. It's intoxicating, and although this word usually indicates something positive, it can also represent something negative especially when associated with alcohol. Drinking alcohol is intoxicating in a good way, but if done too much, it's intoxicating in a harmful way. In this case, alcohol is the representation of another hyperbolic metaphor. It's yet another concept represented in an exaggerated way. Gasoline, fuel, or whatever the hell it was, is obviously toxic. Ingesting it is dangerous. It's yet another representation of their toxic relationship and tendencies and how she doesn't care going against all common sense because she LUVs IT.

There would also be another possible meaning behind this scene due to Playboi Carti's verse. He talks about drugs (Novocaine and Mary Jane), luxury cars (Lamborghini Aventador SVJ), and rebellious life in general.

Novocaine is a drug used as a local anesthetic normally by dentists. Mary Jane is the literal English translation of the name Marijuana. Spanish: Maria/Mari. English translation: Mary. Spanish: Juana. English translation: Jane. Ergo, Marijuana: Mary Jane. In the past when drug users talked about marijuana, they called it Mary Jane so as not to arouse police suspicion.

I explained all this because specifically his talk about drugs made me think of a different possible meaning behind this scene. You see in the US, many drug dealers operate out of gas stations. Mila and her friends are getting gas at the gas station. In slang, ‘gas’ is a noun made popular by rappers to refer to weed/marijuana.

It might be that the scene has both meanings. Alcohol for her and drugs for him. Who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️. Maybe we would've seen it for real if Carti hadn't arrived late for the video shoot. But anyway.

Right after that, we have the dance scene. I have two interpretations for that even here. Both true.

The first one: Don't expect me to say sweet and predictable things like that she's dancing hypnotized because she's drunk on love 🤣. Nope. The blindfold is supposed to represent how blinded she is by love and shit, right? The typical phrase ‘love is blind’ that makes someone unable to see the flaws of the person they love. True, but at the same time in her case, bullshit tho. Buuuullshit! Because we saw throughout the video how she's aware of everything.

She chose to put the blindfold on and dance freely whether it's just for fun or distraction or to literally dance the pain away. She chose to put it on to ‘not see’ the flaws, the toxicity, and all the negative things. She knows. She knows they're there. It's just her choice to ignore them because, once again, she doesn't care because she luvs it and her.

The second one: Based on the getting gas in the previous shot, whether it's just alcohol or whether it's also marijuana, that's why right after that scene we see Carti with his hoodie backwards (it's literally backwards, look closely) before he starts singing and Mila and the girls dancing together blindfolded with X’s over their eyes.

It represents the beginning of the effect. 😵: literally the dizziness of drunkenness and/or stonedness. In a deeper way, it represents love being a drug/addiction to live to the fullest (dancing).

Again whether it's just alcohol or weed, that's also the reason why at the end of the video they're both comfortable and relaxed in eating calmly as if they don't have a care in the world (despite the video being completely the opposite). Both alcohol and weed increase hunger and appetite, sometimes leading to strange and uncontrollable cravings. That represents half to almost the end of the effect.

Hospital part 3

She's still waiting. She's still waiting for someone to help her remove that fucking arrow from her chest. The whole reason she's been there waiting for probably hours. Nurses even walk past in front of her but still no one assists her. As before, she's still annoyed, but now she's also discouraged and sad. Not only that, but the male version of a Katniss Everdeen wannabe is also gone. Representation of a breakup or one of their breaks. Mila's alone, and suddenly, the wound begins to bleed.

In this case, the arrow through her heart symbolizes feeling emotionally hurt. Since loving someone is not always a walk in dreamland, but it also consists of twists and turns and can really fucking hurt you, here we see how her heart starts dripping blood. The bleeding can also represent how toxic relationships leave you in the end. Again, love is pain but she LUVs IT.

Thing more important, the wound begins to bleed because she's no longer with her. It didn't do it the entire time Laur was with her, but her heart started to bleed in pain only after she left. Representation of how her heart, although already wounded (arrow) by her/for her, cannot bear to be without her (bleeding). As I also explained in my This Love’s interpretation, the choice over the years has often been between having her and suffering, or not having her at all, and as we know, she always chose her.

The end

So, that was the music video. It gave me Miami and Florida. It gave me GTA and crack house feelings 🤣. It gave me wildness and adrenaline. It gave me roller coaster. It gave me college students traveling for the holidays/Spring Breakers movie. *For those who don't know what I'm talking about 👇🏼*

Especially here with this promo.

*Last minute edit: she just said Spring Breakers is one of the inspired aesthetics for the new era*

She in specific, gave me addicted to pain. She gave me impulsiveness. She gave me a fast-paced lifestyle, full of passion, desire, and disregard for consequences. She gave me vibe. She gave me boujee. She gave me dance. She gave me actress and humor as has also happened in other videos in the past (although less than those ones) such as for example Havana, Liar, My Oh My, Bam Bam, Don’t Go Yet, etc. (it's not the first time Camila's been in ridiculous situations in her videos). She gave me chaos begets chaos, and in order to maintain sanity, one must embrace the insanity. Or in her case, a palm tree 🤣🤣🤣.

I mean, all in all and in its complexity, I really enjoyed it. She said the theme of the video is chaos and danger, and we saw that. In the interview with Bru On The Radio, still talking about the video, she said: “This complex feeling of loving the pain of something, or loving the messiness of something, or loving the chaos of something, really kind of like finding the beauty in that part of our humanity”. And we saw that too.

And as if it wasn't clear enough already, the video is an artistic representation of the toxic tendencies and behaviors of their toxic relationship in general throughout all these years. And yes, their as in both of them, not just her as in Lauren's. I told you guys in the beginning that it's Camila's POV and I explained that Lauren isn't that bitchy and dickish in real life, but we don't just see Laur's toxic tendencies and behaviors from Mila's POV in the video. We actually see Mila's a lot more. Let me explain.

We saw how Laur brings chaos into Mila's life and their relationship (house scene). She's hurt her (shot her with an arrow through the heart), she doesn't acknowledge her in the hospital, and she also leaves at the end. The leaving her there (breakup or break) in those conditions as well as not taking something for her too from the vending machine is a neglect; another trait of a toxic relationship. That's all. That's what we see as far as Lauren is concerned. Mila on the other hand…

She's the one who's unbothered, especially in the beginning, in having an arrow in her heart, aka being hurt. She's the one who doesn't react when Lo destroys the house, aka when Laur has toxic behavior towards her. Still her the one who runs away from her problems so as not to face them and avoids conflicts (dogs and wrestler). In fact, if that's why, I wanna put in a good word for Laur in this case since she fights her by forcing her to confront her, aka talk about their problems. Still Mila the one who uses an imaginary automatic machine gun to shoot and destroy the bed symbolically in her head just because she’s angry with her. She's the one who crashes herself on top of a car and risks her life on other occasions with the dogs, the palm tree, and by drinking gasoline. I mean, see what I mean?

Who's the most toxic one we see here? And again, this is just a video. Not the reality. I feel like I always have to specify these things with you guys because one never knows you misinterpreted it 🤣. But anyway. I'm happy Mila did it. I'm happy that Mila represented even her toxicity since for many years due to her songs people only and always blamed Lauren. It's something I've been saying for years 💁🏻‍♀️. They both have their faults. There are two people in the couple and there are always two sides to a story. Not just one.

In any case, that's it, dear Anon. I hope you enjoyed both analysis 🙃.

🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

Aaand I'm done 👅. Thank you all for your asks and I hope I've been helpful this time too 🙃. As usual, I'm always available for those who have questions, so ask away 😄.

Remember to be nice. Always. Both with others and with yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼. Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗. I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️.

[babyangelsky]

Prin is going to cause more problems on purpose because even after getting hoisted by her own petard, she hasn't learned her lesson

(I tried to capture this during a moment when she was making a normal face but at no point in this scene does she do that and also I didn't try very hard)

The whole time Prin was having her little tantrum in her car I was anxious that something was about to happen because look at the way this shot is framed. Doesn't it feel like someone is about to open the door and get into the passenger's seat at any moment? I half expected Tongrak's father to appear, I really did. This shot is so ominous.

And of course, he does show up in the preview for next week so even if he didn't get into the passenger's seat, he's still getting into the passenger's seat.

But I was telling @slayerkitty last night that I don't think that's going to work out how Prin wants.

I feel reasonably confident that Mahasamut isn't going to allow himself to be bought or swayed by Tongrak's father but not only that, I'm almost positive that he isn't going to keep it a secret from Rak either. We already saw him not only tell Rak right away about Prin trying to buy him, but explaining in detail why he refused.

So far this show has been pretty consistent about its character writing and if it continues being consistent (knock on wood) then given what we've been shown, I think we can say that Prin's plan will fail.

Because of that consistent character writing, however, we can also assume that she isn't going to just accept another failure. So...

It's Wild Ass Theory™ time!

Join me in the circus for a second. @lurkingshan has expressed fears that Meena will be kidnapped. @almayver pointed out yesterday that Prin is telenovela villainess coded and @bengiyo rightfully pointed out that she is entirely too pressed about Tongrak for no damn good reason.

I do think Prin's plan to have Rak's father destroy his relationship with Mut will fail and because of that, I think she's going to do something to Meena. It's a classic novela villainess move and even though this isn't a novela, the beats are there.

Prin is constantly trying it with Rak and constantly failing and she STILL comes back for more because she does not fucking learn. Rak lives rent free in her head, she spends all her time trying to one up him and imitate him. There's no way she doesn't know what Meena means to Rak and if she's that determined to fuck up his life, it wouldn't be a reach to think she's going to do something stupid.

This woman was ready to give Mahasamut her car without a single thought to get him to agree to her bullshit. She didn't stop to wonder if maybe there were security cameras in the public venue where she wanted to blame Tongrak for throwing water on her. SHE TRIED TO DENY IT WHEN SHE WAS CAUGHT! THERE WAS AUDIO AND VIDEO EVIDENCE AND SHE TRIED TO SAY IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE!

I think the dad is going to put minimal effort into Prin's plan and is going to take her 5 million and run and I think the demon hell witch is going to lose her shit and go after Meena.

[neko-loogi]

Alright, I'mma give my opinion again. This time with Hazbin Hotel..

So I saw the trailer for Hazbin Hotel a few days ago and honestly, I am so disappointed. Like, you're telling me I waited years for them to release a trailer for the series, and this is all we get??

I'm not saying it wasn't enough, no, on the contrary, I think they revealed way too much. But what I mean is, I was expecting something else, because this ain't it, chief.

***

Alright so first off, we have the voices. I'mma be hella honest with y'all, this shit sounds unfinished, as in, it sounds like Viv got confused and published the behind the scenes instead of the finished product because omfg, the voices sound bad.

I genuinely don't understand the weird obsession Viv has with hiring celebrities or broadway actors into her shitty shows, it's not like she's rich enough to afford that- plus she does this often, doesn't that mean it affects the budget of the show? (I don't know much about that stuff so bear with me).

It's funny cuz, she hires these super famous celebrities to voice characters in her shows, but she doesn't need to, like, you can be a professional, but that doesn't necessarily mean you're a great VA. It almost feels like she does that because she wants to feel important, she wants to show off like "Oh look at me, I have celebrities voicing my characters! Aren't I cool?"

But anyway, going back to the voices, I have to say this, my least favorite are Alastor and Angel Dust. I just think it's absolutely ridiculous that Viv got rid of the pilot VAs just to replace them with broadway actors, only for them to make the characters sound flat and emotionless.

Like, it's funny because she makes these broadway actors imitate the voices from the pilot, however it doesn't come naturally for these actors and it shows. It almost feels like they have no idea what they're doing. It legit sounds like they're reading the script but not putting any effort into it. (Y'know how people shit on anime dubs because they don't sound good or whatever? That's exactly how I feel about this-).

The next thing I wanna talk about is the animation. Don't get me wrong from what I've seen, in some moments the animation looks alright, but other times it looks choppy as hell. I thought this show was supposed to be more 'professional' since they literally got A24 and Bento Box ent. for this. But yeah, all I can say is, the animation hasn't changed at all, the only thing that is slightly different is the art style but aside from that, the animation still sucks.

And finally, the last thing I wanted to discuss is the plot of the series. So as we all know, in the Pilot, it was established that Charlie (along with Vaggie) opened the Happy Hotel in hopes of redeeming sinners so that they can go to heaven because Hell was too overpopulated (plus the whole extermination thing). But the whole point of the plot was that she wasn't entirely sure she could actually do it or if it was even possible, and that's what made the plot more interesting back then. But here? It's absolute garbage. Not only did the trailer basically reveal way too much information already (before the series could even come out yet), but the plot was changed entirely!

Like I mentioned, Charlie's motives were to redeem sinners, but here she's more focused on having some kind of war with heaven/the angels. And that's the thing, now that we know that heaven is a thing in this series, plus the inclusion of Adam, it just makes the series feel so predictable, because now we know that the sinners can be redeemed, which beats the entire purpose of the show. It's like, "Hell bad, but heaven is worse" and "Good VS. Bad!!", cliche type of thing. You think a series 'made for adults' would have a more interesting plot than a kids show, but nah, we get these basic ass levels of writing. I swear a fucking five year old could come up with something better and far more creative than this nonsense-

***

So yeah, I'm honestly hella disappointed that this is what the series has turned into. I had high hopes for Hazbin Hotel (since Helluva ain't shit-), but nope, it turns out, Viv is capable of making herself look even more stupid by completely butchering her own series. Hell, I actually have Amazon Prime, but I am probably not even gonna watch this shit, I'll just wait till some dumbass on YouTube uploads the first episode or something stupid like that (so that I can watch it and critique it later). Because I know that someone definitely will.

Anyway, that's all for today, thank you for reading my dumb post- alright bye!

[leoneliterary]

Oh gods, I love and adore the new update! My new grey horse Dust (bc it will leave them in the dust, is grey and unassuming at first glance, but also pure diamond) is already a favorite, even if my MC is slightly afraid of horses and not very good at riding. Aretas offering PRIVATE RIDING LESSONS and MC making not even one dirty joke to Merikh about it shows how serious the tension is, though. The cliffhanger is just mean, bc we don't get to sass big bad brother back. Not even a "you smell better, don't worry about me leaving you for him, wow he looks like a paler imitation of you".... I just imagined letting Desma loose on miserable big bro Labadon, but somehow that feels like bullying. ... Is that on purpose? He feels so arrogant and desperate to put down the bastard child, that it feels a little pitiful and insecure instead of evil, though I of course dislike and disdain him a normal and healthy amount, for his crime of a personality. But back to the important bits, Aretas is being smooth right back and I wasn't sure he'd have it in him. But so worth it, bc I already got a shovel talk from his mom! (a pretty mild one for now, thanks Teacher Alim) Aretas looking pained at Daddy Labadon's grand speech about his father's supposed greatness and aspirations and unsubtle attempt at baiting his king was greatly appreciated and the option that simply says "Blame Merikh" when asked why we couldn't ride? It was so .. tempting, I don't know how anyone can choose another. It's just such an impulse control defying little red button that all imp MCs just HAVE to press. And the reaction did not disappoint in the slightest! I laughed so hard! And then it got better, bc Merikh is just as clueless as you and my MC is learning that omg, he's actually just a grumpy little good boy. You just gotta adopt him. Sorry Sutek, sullen grumpy warrior slots are filling up really fast... I also loved cheering for Sefu and Sefu being so friggin POLITE and well behaved. I love when they show that they can be mature and competent at the same time as being total loving idiots. Desma feeling insecure was really hurting my kokoro, but then it got funny again when she asked "but are they REALLY brothers, how can we ever know?" Never change, best sister girl, my MC will steal horses with you and bury bodies. Their own horse, but probably other people's bodies. I do feel a tiny bit worried about Tamu being alone and trying to find the guild traitor preparing a take over without backup, though. Please let him be ok or at least let Gally have his back a little! This whole update had so much comedy potential with the right choices, it was a delight to read and totally worth staying up till after midnight! I love your writing style, it really hits me in all the best feels! Thank you for persevering, even through difficulties and I will honestly forever love your story! May all the cake, coffee and cookies be with you! As well as muses, time and motivation! I would offer a shoulder massage, but I can't reach through my screen anymore! All my love and adoration!

I always love your in-depth reviews, charcoal!! And thank you for such high praise!

Yeah, Merikh's big brother isn't the most well-adjusted, but whether he's just a pathetic weasel or a real threat, you can be the judge.

I wonder how many of y'all picked the 'blame Merikh' button. I had to give y'all the chance for some petty revenge, lol!

Judging by my asks, most of you chose the grey horse that you got to name.

Sefu really was on his best behavior, but good catch about Tamu. Wonder what he's up to while you're away. Desma is going through it, but she's being so mature and putting it aside to come on this hunting trip...

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it and had a laugh or two at some of the choices!

[aihoshiino]

Hey there! Love your analyses of Ai and ao3 fanfics! They're so good and you always bring interesting points to the table! I want to know your thoughts on something (it's possible that I sent this ask a while back but I have a feeling it never came through lol, my Tumblr/Internet be broken sometimes): In chapter 140 (not 100% canon, but I think the brought up subjects still resonate), page 5, Hikaru says that the student should come to the teacher, while Ai says don't just invite a man to your house. Do you think this has a link with their traumas? It also makes me wonder why exactly Ai would say something like that. Could it have a link with Ayumi's boyfriend (="man") that ogled her? I would like to know your thoughts on how this boyfriend would've affected Ai, her image on men or just relationships/sex in general. Would it even have a big impact on those factors? Thank you for your thoughts!

Thank you so much! 💜 Looking at my inbox I do think Tumblr just ate it the first time you sent this….. Functional webbed site……………..

Honestly it's so hard to know what to make of those HikaAi movie scenes in general but especially off the back of Hikaru being like "fake and gay lol" about it. The characterization feels additive and consistent with the real Ai and Hikaru but at least one of these scenes was written by an author who had literally never met them. And while they do communicate things to us about their respective baggage, it's complicated by the fact that this is in-universe fiction written by an in-universe author. So it's like - is this characterization Aka Akasaka is trying to communicate to us or characterization Yoriko Kichijouji is trying to communicate to the audience of 15 Year Lie? Both? It's a mess!

THAT SAID, Hikaru's "fake and gay lol" is explicitly challenged and undermined by the narrative and the whole point of the confrontation is slapping him with the fact that (among other things), he doesn't understand Ai half as well as he thinks he does. With that in mind and given that it doesn't directly contradict anything else we know about the real Ai, we can probably treat it as true enough for the purposes of using it as jumping off points for discussion.

I don't think Kamiki's line is super important on its own as its really just the setup for Ai's response - so the talk as a whole is really more about communicating things about Ai to us, through Hikaru's POV. And I think strictly in this context, Ai's line there is less to do with her mom and her experience growing up in Ayumi's house (I actually got the impression that the movie barely touched on that stuff? but I could be wrong) and more about her like… responding to other people's expectations without necessarily fully understanding them. I do think the specific way she phrases it is probably parroting something Ayumi may have said to her though - similarly to the way she calls her past self a 'nasty brat' in the Da Vinci interview which was just like… so pointed and unkind I can only assume it was something Ayumi called her in the past that just burrowed its way into her brain forever like that shit does.

Overall, it's part of a much broader pattern of behaviour on Ai's part of, as I've described it to friends, performing normalcy to the point of abnormality. She imitates the end of the "normal behaviour" process tree without understanding or following any of the steps that get there. I can't believe I'm reaching for this reference lol but I was rewatching a bunch of CJ the X vids last week and in their essay about Cat Valentine from the show Victorious, they describe some of the (certainly accidental) neurodivergent coding in Cat's character in a way that really pinged me as also speaking to the way Ai is also (much more intentionally) coded:

"[…] There's a big difference between following social procedure naturally and Attempting To Behave As One Might Act. […] She mimics convention, while fundamentally misinterpreting what part of convention is important in the first place."

That's really the cornerstone to a lot of Ai's behaviour - the combo of her social isolation and her neurodivergence means that she does not have the same frame of reference that most other people absorb from their peers and families as they grow up. So instead she just sort of… looks at the people around her, figures out what successful social interactions look like from the outside, and tries to replicate that to varying degrees of success.

Her argument with Nino is probably my favourite example of this - Nino is all but screaming at her to have a normal fucking human being conversation with her and Ai just sits there like ^_^ Nooooo don't be insecure your so sexy aha. no wonder nino wanted to kill her with a brick HGSJSSKS. And like - from an outsider perspective, you can see exactly why this happens! This is basically Ai short-circuiting because none of her usual scripted responses are resolving this situation. She defaults to the fawning response because she doesn't know what else to do, even though it should be clear it's making the issue worse.

It would be sooooo easy to just make this a one sided instance of Nino being cruel to her but it's really just the inevitable and unavoidable conclusion of Ai's instincts towards avoidance and fear of vulnerability. And it's not Ai's FAULT she's like that. it's learned behaviour. she is the way she is because allowing herself to be sincere and vulnerable only ever gets her hurt, but it still hurts her and the people around her as a result (like with Kamiki).

oh my god i'm like 5k words in and i haven't even touched the question you directly asked LSKDJKSSK. I MEAN, I ASSUME AT THIS POINT PEOPLE SEND ME ASKS LIKE THIS KNOWING THE RISKS OF GETTING AN ESSAY IN RETURN…

ANYWAY, I definitely think Ai's experiences growing up in Ayumi's house (incl. ayumi's pedo boyfriend lmao) were a huge part of why she ends up with such an utterly fucked concept of love and relationships. When I see people talking about this aspect of her character, I feel like it gets downplayed because the series itself is more about her life as an idol but her childhood is the literal foundation of everything that follows - Ai becomes an idol because she wants to know how to love people and be loved in return and the reason she's never experienced that is because of how Ayumi raised her and how she failed to protect Ai from and properly respond to Ai's narrow brush with that type of victimization.

It's hard to really say exactly how this specific incident impacted her with how little we know about how all that went down, but I definitely think it was part of a pretty consistent pattern in her childhood of having failed/toxic relationships modeled for her - there was All That with Ayumi's boyfriend but we also know that Ai's biodad was not in a relationship with Ayumi at the time Ai was growing up and that she saw him pretty infrequently. It's not hard for me to imagine that Ai's kind of wishywashy confusion as to wtf marriage even is expressed in 45510 is the result of seeing dogshit relationship after dogshit relationship fall apart in her formative years. And I definitely think The Incident (& Ayumi's reaction to it - she herself admits her behavior escalated as a result) probably planted the seed in Ai's brain of her being like… more aware of sex than she should have been at the age she was?

In fact, ironically, Hikaru's line about 'giving your body to body to receive love' was actually how I've always interpreted Ai - pretty much the entire time I've been brainrotted about her, my interpretation has always been that Hikaru was not her first boyfriend or sexual partner and that she had probably run through a couple of extremely fast burning short term relationships before they met.that escalated to physical intimacy very quick and burned out just as fast.

I don't necessarily have a ton of capital-E Evidence for this other than a line or two in the series and also just Vibes. Not only can abuse and neglect in childhood lead to premature sexual behaviour in teens (as a sort of attention/intimacy seeking mechanism) but Akane specifically pegs Ai as having obvious emotional imbalances typical of a person who engages in this kind of early sexual behaviour, but then notes that it settled down after she turned 15 and notes 'did she meet someone nice?', implicitly tying her improvement in behaviour to Kamiki - but then of course, that means her destructive behaviour can't have been the result of sleeping with him. In addition, the TL that was available for the manga when I was getting back into the series had Ai refer to Kamiki as an ex during their phonecall, implying she had more than one.

This is one of those things where like… if you are normal about this character it probably doesn't really matter but unfortunately for everyone else i'm insane ;SKFLSNMSLSMKA So stuff like this is really interesting for me to dig into. One of the things I find really fascinating about Ai that mostly exists in subtext and idk how intentional it even was on Akasaka's part is this sense of internalized shame and even disgust she has directed at her own body and sexuality. She calls herself 'dirty' and 'impure', and her final words to Ryosuke are her more or less apologizing to him for that - and idk, I think that aspect of her character (and OnK's ongoing refutations that Ai being 'dirty' in this way is in any way something she should have been rebuked or punished for) is that much more interesting if all that is the case vs the more straightforward and "pure" (for lack of a better word) version of events where she met Hikaru and they fell in love and had sex… if that makes sense.

Honestly Ai's relationship with like, sex and intimacy and sex in the context of a loving relationship being healing and reclaiming for her is one of those things I have so much fun writing in the context of RP and stuff but if I continued rambling about it here I would go on all day lol and this post is already so long. IN ANOTHER ASK, PERHAPS……..

[blaque-honeyy]

*sigh* I have so much to say about The Bear S3.

I think s3 exists in this type of limbo where there are soo many things happening but none of it is really moving the story forward. My confusion lies in not knowing if this was intentional or not.

I feel dissatisfied, but I'm slightly okay with it (?) knowing that we were told some of these events were going to happen and it wouldn't be authentic if these problems were resolved within the season. Whether or not I remain okay with the events of this season depend on figuring out what the purpose of s3 was.

There is this parallax effect happening throughout the entire season: where Syd & Carmy start out AGREEING to go through this together but once Carmy starts slipping into old behaviors, their perspectives on how to get to that goal become different. Opening the restaurant was supposed to be a big point of unity and fulfillment for them but it has only created more distance and promoted an unequal power balance between them. They are stuck and it feels like chaos moving in slow motion.

The silence between them is so damn loud it's unbearable. Watching the individual descents of both characters is so rough and exposes the toxicity of trying to create something new without addressing unhealed wounds.

I think the restaurant is a toxic relationship for Sydney. She loves and admires Carmy so much, and doesn't want to walk away from something that she's put so much effort into, but there's only so much compromising you can do before you start losing yourself. Syd is rightfully scared that she will forever live in Carmy's shadow.

Carmy is spiraling, blinded by tunnel vision to reach "success", and has lost the fucking plot. It was so interesting to see flashbacks of his career and seeing how compassionate and nurturing his mentors were and instead of trying to embody that, Carmy, DEEP in his trauma, is actively imitating the one man he accuses of destroying his physical and mental health.

Of course he still cares about Sydney. He wants to make her happy, give her the star she wants. But in his obsession to gain that success, he has completely pushed her (and everybody else) aside. His mission to prove himself individually (based off insecurities around his competency as a chef/business owner & not being able to provide for his friends & family) has taken precedence over his commitment to her. As painful as this evolution of their relationship is, I do like the direction and I think it was handled pretty well.

Points of contention for me:

I couldn't give two shits about Claire–sorry. The fact that they retroactively added soo many scenes from when they were together seems contrived and looks like another bid to put another relationship above Syd & Carmy's. Neil telling Claire "you're the peace"???? DON'T PISS ME OFF.

Is this The Bear or The Fak Show? There were a lot of Faks introduced in this season and their banter seemed like it was created to fill in dead air. It was very annoying at some points. (John Cena was great though I can't say anything bad about that man.)

Adding too many tertiary characters. The Faks, the old employees of The Beef to help Ebra. Adding all these characters instead of fostering interactions between the core group.

This might be a hot take but they spent WAY too much time on Nat's pregnancy before the birth. Also, she had this baby and NOBODY but the Faks came to see her in the hospital?? BYE.

Things that I solidly liked:

T's episode! Her struggle with unemployment, losing hope, and then meeting Mikey was easily the most endearing moment of the season for me. Then watching her start to develop her own ideas and creativity in the kitchen was just 🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾.

Again, although I'm team SydCarmy, I like this stage of their relationship. Exposing the flaws, and exploring ways they need to improve for themselves and for each other. I WANT Syd to leave The Bear because 1) it would be good for her health and to see how a good restaurant is supposed to operate 2) I firmly believe that will be the catalyst to making Carm get his shit together. I want him to PANIC. I want him to BEG. I want him to CRY. 😊

As you can see, the latter list is not long enough. There were plenty of things I didn't touch on but that would make this post 5x longer.

I can see how s3 could be the low point of the series. A lot of these episodes would be considered fillers in plenty of other television shows. I appreciate the change of pace but would like it more if it was handled better. And I'm mad that I have to wait a YEAR to get REAL story development after this.

[luvvixu]

dazai x reader (she/her)

🏡🧵 home sweet home pt. 1

series

genre: fluff, domestic au

synopsis: what does it look like to have a normal daily life at dazai's household? just you coming home to your little family after a long and exhaustion work. this is the life you and dazai had been dreaming of.

warning: mentioned of breastfeeding, pranking, anxiety

word count: 1.5k

a/n: i got inspired to write a story when i saw a website that said this song is the most therapeutic breastfeeding song. and it came to happened that dazai was the last anime character i saw that day.

so i was like, hmm...what would it be like to have a family with my suicidal maniac crush? so yeah, here it is.

oh yeah, one last note, i kinda made him self-explanatory character on this one???

song - invisible string by taylor swift

a long day just ended for you as a sigh escaped from your lips. you are on your way home to your little family after doing some shift at the agency.

while waiting for the traffic jam to untangle, you open your phone and reveal the wallpaper that never fails to make you smile whenever you see it.

a picture of your new born baby and your husband, dazai osamu.

the statement never lies, your lips crescent a smile at the sight of your little family. you also decided to call your husband who's on his day off and being a male wife for today.

within a few rings, dazai picked up the phone. the sound of your baby's laughter first rang through the phone, making your smile widen.

"hello, my love~ are you on your way home?" your husband's honeyed voice said through the phone.

your shoulder loses its tense from the fatigue just by hearing the sound of him. "yeah. i'm sorry if i didn't arrive on time, there's a small emergency happened. but atsushi-kun and i have already settled it down before it gets worse."

"of course, my wife is good at solving problems." dazai complimented you. he always knows what is best for you.

"anyways, how's things going there?"

"ooh, wait. hey emi-chan! say hi to mama." you hear a baby noise as your husband shifts his phone onto someone.

"emi-chan~" you cooed, and your five month old baby let out a cute babble just by hearing your voice. it makes you laugh and almost die on your spot due to her overflowing cuteness.

"did you miss mama?" your back rested on the seat as your vehicle started to move. luckily, you had a phone holder in front so you won't have to hold it while driving at the same time.

"yes." dazai said in his baby voice, imitating your daughter.

you let out a giggle. "mama misses you too, emi-chan. when i get home, i will kiss your chubby cheeks and watch cartoons together!"

"yah! what about me?" your another baby—i mean dazai interrupted you. a picture of him pouting already depicted on your mind.

"hmm? are you saying something, emi?" you playfully said. the noises coming from osamu intensify. he was complaining, pouting, and whining at you like a big baby. your big baby.

"ahem! sweetheart, emi-chan just asked me if you miss your husband too?" sensing that you did not plan to respond to him as your husband, he changes his tone into a deeper one, like an incognito voice.

"who's there with you, emi?! did you let someone enter the house?" you continued to play dumb until you finally pulled up to your house where your two babies are in.

dazai was whining on the phone and he seemed to want to fight his daughter just because he didn't receive any attention from you.

ignoring him, you purposely muted the call and lowered the volume as you carefully tip-toed inside the house.

"mommy is such a tease, isn't she?" and there you saw your own family. emi was sitting on her father's lap while chewing her pacifier, and dazai was on the floor, still pouting as he talks to his child who's clearly unaware.

"i'm getting jealous of you now, emi-chan." he jokingly said, booping her nose and then proceeded to bite her chubby cheeks carefully. you forced yourself to swallow the laugh in your throat.

"y/n has been unresponsive for a while, did she end the call?" dazai checked his phone when he realized you had been really quiet. the call was still on, so he sought for you.

"darling? are you still there?"

no answer.

"y/n? hello? sweetie, can you hear me?"

still no answer.

suddenly, his pout turns into a deep frown. you could clearly see that he's becoming worried now to the point that he put emi back to the cradle.

he squatted down to meet his daughter's gaze. dazai holds her little hands to give it some pecks. "emi, my cute little baby…stay here and do not do anything, alright? nothing's wrong so no need to worry. papa will keep you and mama safe."

your heart melted at the scene. no matter how worried he is, dazai wouldn't let himself show his fear in front of his daughter who cannot even understand anything, yet.

you knew you didn't make the wrong choice of starting a family with him.

"papa is just going to call mama." he continued. when you saw him about to pick up his call, you immediately ended the call.

you watch his face become more concerned when the call ends without even saying a goodbye to him.

dazai started to bite his nails, a secret habit of his whenever he feels anxious. without any second wasted, he called your number. the sound of your ringtone made him almost dashed to your hidden spot.

"y/n! my god, you're here!" dazai pulled you into a tight hug as soon as he saw you.

you let out an awkward chuckle. "hi?"

"jesus! don't do it again, please. i thought something happened to you!" dazai buried his face into the crook of your neck. you suddenly feel guilty when you sense his shaky breath.

he is really worried.

a hand if yours traveled into his head to give his fluffy brown hair a soft brush to give him comfort. "i'm sorry, baby. i didn't mean to get you worried. i just want to surprise you."

"it's alright—"

"waaahhhhhh!"

both of your heads immediately turned to the direction where the sound came from, emi was crying. you and osamu's parental instincts kicked in as you literally ran towards her.

you carefully picked her up and cooed. "shh~ mama's here, mama's here. aw, why is my baby emi crying?" you land a kiss on her cheeks that was covered with tears.

dazai gently guided you to sit on the couch. he grabbed a tissue and wiped the tears that emi had shed. "don't cry, emi-chan. we're here now." he mumbled softly.

you checked her diaper, it's not full. you tried to make her laugh, but still emi continues to wail loudly.

a sigh escaped from your lips. you gently rocked her and turned your head to your husband who worriedly gazed at his crying daughter.

"when was the last time she drank milk?" dazai ponders for a moment. his eyes widened when he realized.

"that's right! emi just woke up when you called me. she naps for like two and half hours. no wonder she cries because she's hungry." he explains.

"go and make her baby formula." you instructed him because you are busy soothing your child.

dazai chucked hesitantly. "the thing is, it ran out. emi drank the last baby formula earlier. so, i guess we're going to do the traditional way of feeding her."

"♪ and isn't it just so pretty to think ♪" dazai sang a song you two discovered while randomly streaming on spotify.

"♪ all along there was some ♪" he said to you that this song reminded him of the time when the two of you first met.

"♪ invisible string ♪" singing the invisible string has become his hobby whenever he is watching you putting emi to sleep. the song serves as the lullaby that made her fall asleep.

"♪ tying you to me~? ♪" your husband dedicated this song to you. not only it became your couple's love song, wedding song, and now your daughter's lullaby.

overall, this is a sweet moment. but it doesn't…

you tried not to lash out of dazai when he was right there beside you, watching how you breastfeed your daughter. his hands were fixed on emi's tiny ones, caging it playfully and made her squirm. which causes her to latches on your sore breast a bit harder than the usual sucking.

"osamu, for god's sake…let her feed in peace! and why are you even watching me feed her?" you caresses her head gently, making sure that she would not freak out at your little yell.

your husband rolled his eyes. "why not? i've also experienced that before…being fed by you—so, no need to be so shy about me witnessing it." this man had an audacity to make a dirty foreshadow in front of your daughter.

a pillow flew on his straight into his face. "osamu! i swear, get out for a moment." you tried to calm yourself. but dazai doesn't care and continued to play with emi, resting his head on your shoulder.

meanwhile, your little princess was in no mood to play with her daddy. emi got irritated because she couldn't move her hands, dazai has them. so, she let out a squirm and then a whine.

acting hurriedly, you rock her while giving your biggest death glare on your husband.

"welp…" dazai took the cue as he sheepishly go out of the room, finally giving you and emi some private time together.

"daddy is such a crackhead, isn't he?" you talked to your daughter who just looked at you with her big beautiful eyes while sucking your breast. you couldn't help but to squeal at your daughter.

"and you're such a cutie, emi-emi!"

©luvvixu2023

[weabooweedwitch]

Most women your age are getting married and starting their families and you've never even had a bf 🤡 it's so over for you better get used to coping with ur crippling loneliness with maladaptive daydreaming, yandere asmr videos, drugs and self-insert fanfic because that's all you'll ever have now. Your youth is gone and you're still fat af even after you lost weight (probably gained it all back by now lmao). You could have made something of urself whem you were 20 by losing weight and going to college but instead you laid around and wasted all of your youth and now it's too late. No man will ever want to deal with your baggage of being poor, old, unwanted, uneducated (lmao how do I have more education than you and I'm 10 years younger? dumbass doesnt even have her GED), cringey age-inappropriate hobbies, mentally ill and not even having the decency to go to therapy and take meds, fat, ugly face, loser and loner with no irl friends, crazy family, looking old for your age, whored yourself out on a sugar daddy website, rotten teeth due to your own laziness, thinning frizzy hair and gross bulky glasses, drug addicted alcoholic who's probably going to be homeless for the majority of her life, mean person attacking minor aged rape victims like jesus christ you're so fucking worthless SO many red flags so much baggage no-one will ever want to deal with that. You don't even know how worthless you are

You know, every time you send me a message like this, I think of the person from your friend group who came forward a while back. You know, the one you don't like to acknowledge tried to apologize on your behalf. Anyways, every time you insult my appearance I just think of what your friend said

So i get it sweetie, youre mad at mommy and daddy and you're lashing out. That's why half the time you're repeating things i previously said back to me and parroting shallow insults with a very small vocabulary. The second i call you fatherless, you call me fatherless. I use thw word maladaptive and, suddenly you know that word too and juat HAVE to use it as well. I get it. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

You're honestly just making yourself look so pitiable. You realize you've already painted yourself as such a dumb jackass that every single time you do this I basically just laugh and ignore you, and then people who know me and are friends or WANT TO be friends with me see how you treat me publicly and they all say "yeah wow who's this absolutely demonic little cunt acting like this without any reason". Like. What is the end goal here. Making yourself look as petty and stupid as possible. Meanwhile, what did someone else in your friend group say? The ones you lied to? Including Callie, the actual victim whose trauma you're basically trying to appropriate for yourself

Anyways yeah I just wanted to like show you the actual screenshots of the conversation I had with your friend back in June, which also to everyone else, yeah June, that's when she lied to her own friends and said she would stop doing this. She lied to her friends because all of them told her this was making them massively uncomfortable, so now she's. Being an internet troll in secret behind their backs 😂 they were going to tattle on you to your mom so you lied so they wouldn't check tumblr anymore because you're such a weird angry little freak that this has become a hobby for you

I'm sad? I'M sad? I don't even know your fucking name meanwhile you've scrolled through all of my blogs repeatedly for months cataloging details about me for the sheer purpose of trying to poorly insult me.

Like genuinely 90% of the reason I'm answering this is to basically wave a flag saying "hey everyone if you've ever seen or received weird asks of photoshopped porn of me or pictures of my actual family taken from their facebooks or saw the transphobic racist fake dating profile she made with one of my selfies or you ever received a bitch lasagna or Zalgo text, it was this cringey little lolcow right here"

But I also wanted to show you screenshot proof that you make your own friends super uncomfortable and that they started talking about your personal business to defend me over you. So. Yeah I guess that stings huh?

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hi! How does Marius take care of the ones who must be kept? Like, they're not bedbound elderly I assume? They're just, chillin

And why does he say Akasha owes him? For keeping watch over her or why? (I don't mind spoilers obv :3)

By the time he more or less steals them (upon Akasha's supposed incentive) they are almost like statues. He... cleans them, handles them, re-clothes them, does their makeup, paints the chamber, brings flowers, sometimes sacrifices. But they rarely move. For centuries.

He moves them around, too, bound in linen iirc.

And he doesn't say she "owes" him per se - it is in the way she rises and buries him under the shrine he built for her. It is in the way he tells Thorne about her waking for Lestat (twice^^).

"I don't know what caused me the worst pain - the loss of Lestat, or my jealousy that she had given and taken with him. I'm unable to know my own mind. You understand I felt I possessed her."

Because yes, ultimately he saw them as their keeper, and since he was allowed to drink from her from time to time he saw that as a special relationship.

Akasha saw that a bit differently though, and when she rose... she mocked him.

"Ah, Marius," she said, imitating his tone perfectly again, "you never despair, do you? You are no better than Lestat, with your foolish dreams." His own words again, spoken to himself on a San Francisco street. She mocked him! Was this terror? Or was it hatred that he felt-hatred that had lain waiting in him for centuries, mixed with resentment and weariness, and grief for his human heart, hatred that now boiled to a heat he could never have imagined. He didn't dare move, dare speak. The hate was fresh and astonishing and it had taken full possession of him and he could do nothing to control it or understand it. All judgment had left him. But she knew. Of course. She knew everything, every thought, word, deed, that's what she was telling him. She had always known, everything and anything that she chose to know! And she'd known that the mindless thing beside her was past defending itself. And this, which should have been a triumphant moment, was somehow a moment of horror! She laughed softly as she looked at him. He could not bear the sound of it. He wanted to hurt her. He wanted to destroy her, all her monstrous children be damned! Let us all perish with her! If he could have done it, he would have destroyed her! It seemed she nodded, that she was telling him she understood. The monstrous insult of it. Well, he did not understand. And in another moment, he would be weeping like a child. Some ghastly error had been made, some terrible miscarriage of purpose. "My dear servant," she said, her lips lengthening in a faint bitter smile. "You have never had the power to stop me."

So yes, Marius' relationship with Akasha and what she chose to do with Lestat ... is a difficult one, and one he takes some time to digest after, too, arguably still in "Blood and Gold", imho.

[hannahssimblr]

“Can I tell you something?” Alison whispers as we lay side by side on a bed, some nameless person’s bed in Dollymount. The sounds of electronic club beats are muffled through the floor from the kitchen beneath us.

“Yeah of course.”

“Don’t take it the wrong way though.”

“I won’t.”

She smiles, “I really, really like the stupid faces you make.”

“Stupid faces?” I have to look at her, so I prop myself up on my elbow, “What stupid faces?”

She giggles sleepily, all soft and relaxed after I made her come. I don’t know how I did it, by the way, it’s something that seemed to have happened by divine chance, leaving me with no solid idea of how it can be repeated, but now I have to pretend that I did it on purpose. “You just pull these really expressive faces, like,” she tries to imitate me, tugging her lip between her teeth and rolling her eyes back, “like you’re enjoying yourself so much, it’s so cute.”

I kiss her shoulder, “I am enjoying myself. It’s nice. Do you want me to be all serious? I can do that, I can be really stoic and manly if you like,” I set my jaw and stare right at her when I roll on top of her, “Alison,” I say in a deep, unemotive Terminator voice, “copulating with you is enjoyable to me, let us continue.”

“Stop,” she laughs weakly and squirms away, “and by the way, if you were a real manly man you wouldn’t even speak or make any noise. You’d just wheeze out these really heavy, ominous breaths.”

And would I look you in the eye like this?” I demonstrate, unblinking, “And would I be concentrating so much that I’d look like I was doing a shit?”

“God, no, in my experience guys don’t even look me in the eye. They bury their face into the pillow and then get embarrassed and start apologising when they come like they’ve just realised they’ve done something disgusting.”

I drop back to her side, “Oh, God. That sounds miserable.”

“Yeah that’s why I like your stupid faces, actually, and the way you look at me. Sometimes you even say nice things. It’s always pleasant with you and I never regret it.”

“I’m just blurting out random shit, it’s not exactly romance novel worthy stuff.”

“You said a few minutes ago, and I quote, ‘Oh Jesus, fuck, Alison you’re so fucking hot.’ Do you know how good it feels for me to hear that?”

“i can't be held accountable for the things I say when I'm about to come,” I say with a shrug, “and anyway, you are. I was just sharing the facts.”

She reaches up to touch my cheek, stroking the back of her fingers affectionately over my skin, “That’s the thing though, you’re never embarrassed about sex. You make me feel kind of special, or something. You’re a lovely boy, you know that? You’re just about the loveliest one I know.”

“Why does that make you sound so sad?”

She looks up at me with her big blue eyes and I can’t help but touch her too, brushing my fingertips up the side of her face while she lies there, still, red hair fanned out over the pillow like some kind of beautiful painting. 

“I’m not sad,” She whispers, “We’re just being vulnerable.”

“Hm, how are you holding up?”

“I don’t mind.”

It takes me a moment to realise that I, in fact, am the one that is sad, and perhaps it’s because I’ve been drinking, which is never really that good for me or the image I try to uphold, but an unexpected type of sorrow takes me over in a surge and I only realise I am about to say something very stupid when it is far too late. I am already saying it.

“Why don’t you want to be with me, Alison?”

She sighs and breaks eye contact, “Because that would be ridiculous. You don’t want that.”

“I think that I do. I don’t understand all of this casual stuff, I’m sorry, I just don’t know how to do it.”

“But you’re doing it, you’re fine.”

“No, I think I need more.”

“Jude,” she drags a frustrated hand across her forehead. I think I put her through this type of thing a lot, “you don’t want to be my boyfriend, you just think that you do.”

“I love you.”

She snorts with derision, “No you don’t, come on, you’re just lonely.”

“You’re right,” I hesitate, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that, that was stupid.”

“I think that deep inside you’re just a sad little boy who wants someone to look after him, and now you’re searching for some poor, naive girl to do it. Right?”

“No, of course not. I just… don’t like being on my own.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“I don’t like how it feels.”

“You’re making a great case for us being together, by the way. Who wouldn’t want to go out with a guy who is depressed and gets really weird whenever he’s alone? Wow, he doesn’t sound clingy at all.”

“But you’re not making any decent case for not being together.”

“Being with me would probably ruin your whole reputation. You don’t want to be the guy who’s going out with the bloody village bicycle of fifth year.”

“Who calls you that?”

She scoffs, “Um, everyone, come on. You think I don’t know? I bet the stuff those rugby boys say about me is foul.”

It's true that the conversation in the changing rooms is so pornographic that it used to stun me, but I've been on that team for two years now and have realised that the conversation is always about the the same things, like whose arse cheeks were visible under the hem of her skirt, what they wish they could do to random girls in the hallway, big tits and blow job lips, invented scenarios with girls they will never have the courage to actually talk to. It's boring.

“I don't think I've ever heard them mention you.”

“Well then you’re just not listening.”

“Alison, yeah, the shit they say is gross, but even if they did talk about you, they definitely wouldn't be saying that you're the village bicycle of fifth year, come on.”

“Of course they do. But that’s what I get for being this way. I should just keep my legs closed, right?”

“C’mere,” I tilt her face gently to mine, “If they're saying that then it's not in front of me.”

I can't read the series of emotions that flash across her face, but her silences makes me begin begin to question if any of this is comforting at all. I continue, “and I swear if I ever do hear anyone talking shit about you in that dressing room I’ll shut it down straight away.”

There is a pounding on the bedroom door. 

“Hey!” Some girl yells, “Who’s in there? This is my room. Nobody better be having sex or something in there!”

Alison and I stare at one another. 

“Hello? Can you open up please? You can’t just come into someone’s house and start locking the doors as you like!”

“Hey! Piss off!” Alison yells back, which only increases the ferocity of the door rattling, “What should we do?” she murmurs.

“Probably get a move on, you think?”

“Yeah, might as well,” she lies spread out on the mattress staring at the ceiling as she tries to gather the strength to move. Finally she relents, “Okay, throw me over my jeans.” 

I pluck them off the chair that I flung them onto earlier and then start retrieving some of my discarded clothes too. “Should we fix up the room or something? Like, I dunno, take the sheets off? I feel a bit bad.”

Alison scoffs, “Why, so you can have them dry cleaned for her? Or do you want to go downstairs and put the washing machine on? No, you can put your condom in the bin but that’s all she gets. What does she expect? We are at a house party, and there is a bloody bed. Does she seriously think that people aren’t going to fuck in it?”

“You’re right,” I chuckle, “Get a grip, huh?”

“Right!”

“Loser.”

“Loser.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

[bladeydp]

I only learned about this shameful affair a few months after the release of Fake Worlds End in late 2023. In this post, I will describe what happened and my subjective opinion of lunariamv as an active domestic Charon fan on the Internet.

First let's understand who lunariamv is. lunariamv is an online game maker (active on Tumblr and tiktok) who has been reviled by charon fans overseas for pirated charon games. lunariamv started out as a painter, but one day he started to imitate charon's games. At first, it was just the imitation of the painting style, and then gradually began to copy the original. lunariamv's Doom Stones is a direct copy of charon's Makoto Mobius. Not long ago, lunariamv copied Mikoto Nikki again.

Now let's talk about my personal feelings

My favorite charon character is Mikio from Makoto Mobius. I've only been active on Twitter for six months now. The first time I saw the Doom Stones CG I naively thought it was some unfinished work by charon. And then I was misled, like an idiot, and I posted it on Twitter. Later, under the explanation of the Internet fans, I found that what I saw was something contrary to heaven. (I ended up deleting that tweet because it was disgusting to think of copycat stuff as a family thing) and lunariamv drew Mikio as a man...

lunariamv, don't you get it? The decision to change the original in order to make it look less identical is disgusting...)

(" I don't Want People Who are hindering Me to Interact with Me "is like a thief declaring that he is stealing from people around him and not to stop him.) He claims to be artistic and aesthetic without any consideration for anything else, like A saying to B: "I like your dress, but you will be mediocre without it, so I will get the same dress as you." Let me make my position clear: I do not oppose those who learn from charon's painting style, and the later development of painting style depends on the reference in the early stage. But isn't it a little cheeky to copy the plot? lunariamv claims to be a charon fan, but she would rather draw a fan map of her own game than a fan map of charon's own character. In addition, lunariamv's early works were found to have been copied by overseas charon fans.

Like Matsuri? That's right, because lunariamv doesn't make people.

However, lunariamv explained the plagiarism: "I didn't do it intentionally, it was just for fun."

One day I robbed your house of every penny left, and when I finally tell you, "I didn't mean to rob your house, it was just for fun," you will be happy.

Why are you calling this guy Mikio? You probably know that I like Mikio, and I think you're getting back at me and the other Charon fans, right? lunariamv, I should have known you had no shame.

And this guy is trying to mislead his uninformed fans by branding his game as a Charon game.

lunariamv posted a video of herself playing the game she copied from Charon on YouTube. lunariamv's YouTube account:

I argued with him in the comments section of YouTube and was met with sophistry:

Even if you have no business purpose, no intention of making a profit, but you have done such a reckless thing, especially against the Charon group, lunariamv, I just want to ask you, is your conscience being eaten by a dog? You don't talk back to other fans, you don't talk back to me, you use the law as a shield when I'm judging, do you really think the world revolves around you?

So I went to tumblr to argue with this asshole. Continue to expose this guy's evil deeds under this guy's blog, and then he responded to me like this:

Who gave you the courage to be a thief and scold me for exposing your ugly face? First: No one listens to your guile, your guile is against ethics. Second, other fans are helping me. I only look at the facts. Third: I am 18 years old. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and had symptoms of delusional disorder. But I'm not retarded. I think lunariamv's comments have violated my right to personal dignity, mocking me as childish, retarded, and incapable of respecting others. No, have you ever respected other fans who come to you to talk to you alone? (There are private messages from overseas fans about how this guy's stolen work compares to the original, but this guy doesn't reply) Do you respect Charon? You're talking about respect here?

Not only was I scolded, but lunariamv wrote a short essay in order to "repay" my exposure:

(I have three requirements for you :1. Stop infringing 2. Delete the works that involve plagiarism 3. A public apology to Charon makes it spam?)Stop using the law as an excuse. I've seen that too many times before, "I don't take Inspiration as my own," and when you posted your last rip-off and shamelessly called it original, how did I tweet it back at you?

Just because you acknowledge and praise the original work doesn't mean you can copy it, but if you acknowledge and praise the renovation of my home, you can pick the door lock of my home? What bandit logic...) How can you proudly compare yourself to everything in the world? A: Do you think in other people's shoes? Don't you ignore other fans when they explain to you calmly? In my private letter to you, I just repeatedly emphasized my three demands. Did I verbally attack you? Isn't it true that you plagiarized? (" I'll Take Criticism with a grain of Salt, "and then you posted this quibbling essay.)

"You want the same thing as Charon, Please don't expect it," Then you don't fucking get involved with Charon, you can't be original? Your work is too misleading, and some Charon fans who don't know the truth have begun to defend you, really fucking "Congratulations, congratulations" ah)(you have violated the bottom line of Charon and Charon fans again and again, my evaluation is either apologize or delete the number roll, pretend what big tail Wolf)

This guy played Fake Worlds End and still insists he didn't plagiarize, knowing Charon went through a plagiarism scandal and still plagiarized, so it's a little cheeky to defend herself, right?

By the way, this guy is already copying mix ore.

Finally, I gave it to lunariamv with one of our famous Chinese poems. Anyway, that guy doesn't understand the broad and profound Chinese culture.

《诗经·彼阳》

彼阳若至，初升东曦。

绯雾飒蔽，似幕绡绸。

彼阳篝碧，雾霂涧滁。

赤石冬溪，似玛瑙潭。

彼阳晚意，暖梦似乐。

寐游浮沐，若雉飞舞。

あなたは少し能力と度胸があるならば、私の郵便受けに来て私のフィードバックを探します:tamasuyouaya@gmail.com

盗作って何ができるんですか?

[fatherbearfreddy]

Shine nods to the camera, set to Bonnie's height, with Perramores help as she can'treach that high in her wheelchair. "OK big guy, I know it's awkward, but just talk to the camera like it's him. We can give it to him directly and for him, it'll feel like he was there. I'm going to leave now. Just hit that button when you're done. It's late enough that no one else will disturb you." She waves goodbye. "I had a good time, and I think we all liked your presents. Love you, glamdad."

Freddy waves goodbye and presses the on button. Four seconds later it begins to record.

"Hello Bonnie, I got your presents." Freddy imitated an inhale and his eyes glanced away with a smile. "The recordings are always strange to see, to hear my voice and see through my eyes, when I cannot remember them. But that was me. And I would have said I Do even now."

He touched the ring on his ear, for now he could remember what it really meant. His wedding ring. "I saw the day the glitter spilled all over the floor from the second floor balcony and we all played in it before anyone could make us stop." Freddy closed his eyes and kicked one of the rubber balls near his feet. "I have trouble saying things in a fancy way, I'm not like you are. But I thought you looked handsome, sparkling in the neon lights. They had to pretend this was on purpose, and the children came running to play. But before that, seeing you sitting there, dumping glitter over your ears was...special. Your eyes were beautiful."

Freddy smiled and imagined it really was Bonnie standing there.

"I know it's been a long year, even if we cannot remember much of it. I have learned so many things with you, and made so many new friends."

Freddy stepped closer to the camera and pretended to breathe in again. Games of pretend made things better. That was what Bonnie told him. Bonnie loved pretend. And poems. And dramatic speeches.

"We got married, and even if we can't remember that, I want to stay married. You told me we can live forever if we try. And that the world is going to open up to us one day."

"...you wrote a poem for us, about one day having a home by the sea, where we could watch sunsets every night."

"I saved my- our first sunset, on the bus together, for our performance outside the pizzaplex. You were there in my head, and you can be there through my eyes. The important part was seeing the world. Now you can see it through me."

"Our plans have changed a bit, now that we have this beautiful young boy in our lives. But I know you will be just as good a father as I try to be. And if you are not, we can learn together. He loves bunnies, I have no doubt he loves you as well."

Freddy's ears perked up. "You said you would never stop loving me. And I agreed. But did you know how true that was?"

He reached towards the camera, pretending it was where he was, and Bonnie just didn't look down. "You worried about us forgetting too much, and you worried we would never get a chance to truly be in love."

"But...as I said once, many versions of us ago..."

Freddy looked into what could be Bonnie's eyes. "I will gladly fall for you over and over again, forever and ever."

"I will happily let every kiss be our first. I will tell you I do until the walls of the Pizza Plex crumble. We can dance our first dance as many times as it takes. I will listen to your first original song until it is the most listened song in the world."

His voice was emotional. Positive, negative, he wasn't sure which it was anymore talking to Bonnie, but not the real Bonnie.

"I love you Bonnie. I love you, and we can dance this eternal first love, first date, first confession until the sun can no longer rise if you'll have me. I know I have trouble stepping up, and asking you out instead, but I can try."

Freddy smiled. "I know you prefer our nonhuman ways of affection, but the mistletoe is a tradition. It is right there." Freddy leaned in and pressed his nose against an outcropping on the camera. Squeak.

"Now we can do what you wanted to do."

"I love you Bonnie. Let us play together forever. Because forever is how long I will love you. No matter how many time they burn our memories away."

"Merry Christmas, Bun."

The camera saved the recording. Click.

"...Bear misses you so much."

[sharedramblings]

Don't Blame Me (Alternative Version)

Summary: Larissa finally went home and stumbled upon your performance.

Author's note: Here's the other version, @redheadcompanionnumber1 @friskyfisher! I took the liberty of mentioning you both but please do tell me if you'd rather not be tagged. Thank you for showing interest! Also, if anyone's curious about the first one, it's here.

Additional note: Does anyone know where I can access scene compilation or character information about Miranda? I'm trying to work on something but the ending of Top of the Lake erased everything in my mind.

—-—-

You knew Larissa will soon come back to your shared quarters, seeing as the last rays of the sunset protrude the sky to conclude the day. You've finished cooking dinner for the two of you, and you're currently engrossed in your makeshift concert while you wait for her.

The instrumental of the current song occupied the area, signaling its end. It gave you the time to take a breath for a moment, preparing yourself for the next one that would come up. Your playlist was on a shuffle so you don't really have any idea what song will come next, which only amplifies your excitement.

The moment Taylor Swift's voice reached your ears, you perked up again, ready to give it everything you've got.

Don't blame me, love made me crazy

If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right

Lord, save me, my drug is my baby

I'll be usin' for the rest of my life

Your mind immediately went to the updo styled icy blonde-haired, blue-eyed, tall, exquisite woman who claimed your heart as hers the moment you laid your eyes on her. The lyrics suit the feelings you harbor for the head of the academy, so it's common sense that you decided that this song will be about her.

I've been breakin' hearts a long time,

And toyin' with them older guys

Just playthings for me to use

You haven't. Breaking hearts and toying with older guys, that is. But you still owned it like the song was narrating your own experience, otherwise how would you truly feel the song if you won't embody it?

Something happened for the first time,

In the darkest little paradise

Shakin, pacin', I just need you

You accentuate the words, imitating to the best of your abilities how it was sung by the singer.

For you, I would cross the line

I would waste my time

I would lose my mind

They say, "She's gone too far this time"

You would. Entirely. Truthfully. Without hesitation. For Larissa. Always.

You feel the thrum of the instrumentals invigorate you more when the song reaches the chorus, singing along with a big smile on your lips. You always get so alive even though you're just thinking of her. The grip that the woman has on you is unbelievable but you aren't complaining. You love it completely. It gives life a better, more beautiful purpose.

The sound of the door opening caught your attention. The smile on your lips grew wider, if that's even possible, knowing it's your Larissa on the other side of the door.

You were greeted by her questioning and surprised expression, her lips curved in a lopsided smile while her eyebrow quirked up her forehead. She closed the door without breaking away from your gaze, observing you just a few feet away from her.

"What are you doing?"

My name is whatever you decide

And I'm just gonna call you mine

I'm insane, but I'm your baby

Your steps were slow but purposeful, pulling her further inside while you continue singing along. Larissa followed, her hands clasped with yours. She gingerly rid herself of her coat when you urged her to sit on the couch.

Echoes of your name inside my mind

Halo, hiding my obsession

I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy

She relaxed as soon as she sat comfortably, her eyes still fixed on you. A small chuckle escapes her once she takes you in more. The remote you're holding serves as your microphone.

You told her a hurried, almost indecipherable "Stay back and watch" and she just nodded at your instruction. You didn't have to tell her twice. She will enjoy whatever this is you've got going on.

And baby, for you, I would fall from grace

Just to touch your face

If you walk away

I'd beg you on my knees to stay

You held her hand in yours again, eyes staring at her deeply when you actually did mimic that last part, dropping yourself on your knees in front of her.

Don't blame me, love made me crazy

If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right

Lord, save me, my drug is my baby

I'll be usin' for the rest of my life (yeah, ooh)

You wiggle your eyebrows at her, smile still apparent in your lips while you sing.

Don't blame me, love made me crazy

If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right

Oh, Lord, save me, my drug is my baby

I'll be usin' for the rest of my life

Her cheeks were hot to the touch at your ministrations. No matter how long you two have been together, your boldness never fails to make her blush. You always were proud of everything you're doing for her, wearing your love for her like it's your most treasured possession. You're loud in showing your love. Transparent. Purposeful. You make her feel liberated. Empowered. Like she's invincible. Your love consumes her in the best way possible, and she's addicted to the feeling.

I get so high, oh

Every time you're, every time you're lovin' me

You're lovin' me

Your knees hurt the moment you stood up, but you didn't let it show. Your attention focuses on her, just like hers on you. Nothing matters outside this moment. It's just the two of you, with you singing your heart out in front of her, exaggerating some parts of your performance.

Trip of my life, oh

Every time you're, every time you're touchin' me

You're touchin' me

You hold out your hand to her, inviting her to stand up. Larissa gladly took it, never letting go of your hand. She stopped short from walking when there was merely an inch between the two of you, gazing down to look at your eyes.

Every time you're, every time you're lovin' me

You tiptoed to give her a short and quick kiss, smirking just for a bit when she tried to deepen it. You pulled back, preparing yourself for the next lines.

Oh Lord, save me, my drug is my baby

I'll be usin' for the rest of my life

Usin' for the rest of my life, ohh-oh

Instead of singing to the remote you've used as your mic, you sang your heart out on your clasped hands. Larissa can't help the breathy laugh she lets out, giddy with the display.

Wait, when did you get rid of the remote? Where is it? That's a question she ought to ask you when you wrap up your singing.

After those lyrics, you were spent. You knew you could no longer sing adequately with the roughness you can feel in your throat, so you let Taylor's voice finish the remainder of the song.

"How did I do?" You grin at her, expectant of her answer.

"Incredible, darling. That was your best performance yet." You chuckle at her biased and certainly-affirming-you evaluation before you wrap your arms around the back of her neck. Her arms instantly snaked their way in your waist, making it their home. Your lips meet in a sweet, languid kiss as the song concludes.

The next song filled the room as you rest your head in her chest for a while. After a few minutes of listening to her heartbeat and letting your heart return to it's normal rhythm, you pull your head up from its resting place.

"You know I'm serious about it, right?"

"About what, darling?" She guides you both on the couch, a bit clueless about what you were saying.

"About the whole song. That 'my drug is my baby I'll be using for the rest of my life'" you quoted the song in an attempt to explain.

Larissa snorts, opting to tease you. "Drugs can damage your life."

"You're more than welcome to destroy mine" That was terrible, you know. But you can't help it.

"Unbelievable" she playfully rolled her eyes at your remark.

"What? It's true!"

"Whatever you say darling" She kissed you in the center of your forehead, knowing you won't stop if she wouldn't let it go first.

Neither of you said anything else for a while, just basking in each other's embrace, your phone still going through your playlist.

"You stay here. I'll change into comfortable clothes quickly"

Before she can walk off, you tugged at her hand. "I want to come with you"

She shakes her head, pressing a peck on your lips. "Then we'll take longer. Stay here."

You pouted but still complied. "Fine" you groan out. "I'll set dinner up"

You watch her walk away before standing up to head towards the kitchen. You can't wait to hear about her day.