#if Wild does not get enrichment he will MAKE enrichment

[needfantasticstories]

CAMPSIDE PRANKS 1: Wild gets bored Waiting for Legend 

Wild had already cooked heart soup, hearty elixirs, hearty simmered fruit, and had at least two dozen stamina elixirs ready to go for the Vet when he finally woke up from his fever. 

There was nothing much else for the heroes to do while they waited for the Hero of Legend to recover. 

As morning became afternoon, The Champion put away the clean pots and ladles, and sat on a log, bouncing his knees and looking all around the camp. Time and Four polished armor, Warrior and Hyrule hung up laundry. Sky cleaned and polished leather with Twilight. Wind sat in a tree with Aryll’s spyglass, keeping diligent watch for monsters. 

This in-between era provided few clues regarding their place in time, and the Vetern’s fever worried them. They’d ruled out black blood right away, and potions had minimal effect on illnesses, and so they resigned themselves to waiting it out. Luckily, his fever broke in the night.  

Wild noticed them watching his bouncing knees. He stopped, and caught sight of the river stones in the stream. They were all oblong and somewhat flat. He grinned, and rushed over to them.

Gathering as many as he could carry, he placed on at Legend’s side, just a few feet from the bedroll. He set another just behind it, and tipped the first. It struck the second nad knocked it down. Grinning wider, he set a trail of stones from the Vet’s side toward the edge of camp and around the perimeter. 

Twilight and Sky finished polishing, and chuckled, then brought him more stones. 

The others soon joined in, Wind giving ideas for a path from his perch.

By the time Legend woke up, grimacing at the bright late-afternoon sun, he found an audience of grinning heroes surrounding him.

He scowled, and rubbed his face, feeling for signs of charcoal or paint. 

“Here,” Hyrule took the tea Wild made and crouched beside him. “You’ve been out for three days with a fever, but it broke last night. Here, this will help.”

He sat up and took it gingerly, surprised at the weakness in his own hands.

“What in Din’s name are you all doing over here?” He rasped. 

“We, uh, well, have a surprise for you.” Wild stammered.

“Wild got bored,” Twilight laughed. “Made you something.”

“Did he? Should I be excited, or afraid?” The Vet sipped the tea. 

“It starts behind you,” Time offered, and Legend turned around.

Legend stared at it, and quirked up one eyebrow. 

“Go ahead. Touch it.” Hyrule smiled. 

A trail of stones, barely balancing on their narrow edges, wound from his side and all around the camp, between trees and up and down rises and dips in the forest floor, through a dry creek bed nearby, and circling tightly around the camp, spiraling inward until it ended next to where it began.  

Legend touched it. 

They all watched the trail of rocks topple one after the other. 

Legend’s sleepy grin made it all worth it.

[phoenixcatch7]

Reading loz/lu fics and it's just so interesting how wide the spectrum is of their personalities.

Sometimes it's got an in universe reason (different past (usually gender or species change), recent or ongoing traumatic events, a spectacularly bad first meeting), but sometimes (often) the characters are just... Weirdly angsty or peppy, there's no in between!

And I'm beginning to think less people have played more than one game than I thought XD.

Not that it's anyone's fault! One game is more than enough to be part of it all, and loz is exclusive to Nintendo consoles - and all the older stuff is frustratingly hard to get hold of. Heck, I'm still looking for wind waker, and that was really popular! And then you have to play it! They're not small games!!

But could people writing wild please ease off just a tiiiiiny bit so he can be a semi functional member of society pretty please XD? He's just as much a polite boy as any other member of the chain! He won't even run in shops! He can't attack npcs! He talks to every single person he's ever seen and remembers every single name. Yes, he's three quarters woodland creature with a hefty amount of trauma but he's also a fashionista who managed to avoid accidentally taking sides in a mayoral election and that's not easy!

[good-chimes]

Proposing:

Grand Unified Scarian Theory

a single, overarching Scarian romance arc across the whole Hermitcraft and Life series as well as a primer for anyone curious about the early seasons.

We start with NEIGHBOR MEET CUTE in early Season 6:

Season 6 begins in a peaceful pirate bay. SCAR, an established hermit just beginning his third season, is happily making pirate caves. Into this tranquil scene comes GRIAN.

Grian, fresh-faced and new to Hermitcraft, picks a sea-themed base location right next to Scar’s pirate caves. He gets himself set up and starts his base. Even someone like Grian can get newcomer nerves, and he spends the first few weeks desperately trying to act like a normal person instead of the horrible gremlin he really is.

(Some hermits are taken in by this. Doc and Xisuma give him pity diamonds, something that—after getting to know Grian—they noticeably never do again.)

The only person exempt from Grian’s just-a-little-birthday-boy act is Mumbo, whom Grian already knows, clearly has a puppy-crush on, and pursues relentlessly.

Grian and Scar don’t interact much at first. Grian sees Scar for the first time while passing by his base. Scar instantly falls in one of his own caves and dies.

Grian panics.

Grian: I DIDN’T DO IT!

Scar, intrigued by his new neighbor, makes some overtures of interest:

1. Scar leaves a fully enchanted trident at Grian’s base as a welcome present. This is a generous gift for the cute neighbor you have a crush on and frankly the most normal thing either of them do in the entire years-long relationship.

Grian goes ‘huh!’ at the trident, never finds out who sent it, and immediately forgets the whole thing.

2. Scar entertains Grian’s traveling-salesman pitch and buys his overpriced armor boxes.

Multiple jokes about the size of Scar’s wallet. Grian clearly pleased by the transaction.

3. Scar makes Grian a complementary in-joke build (Spongebob’s house by Squidward’s house).

This delights Grian immeasurably for five minutes until he turns back to his prank war with Mumbo.

(Poor Mumbo. Clearly immensely fond of Grian but not sure he wants to be in a relationship with a lit stick of dynamite. This is very understandable.)

By this point Scar obviously kind of clocks that Grian is insane about Mumbo. This isn’t much of a leap. The entire SERVER is aware that Grian is horribly in love with Mumbo.

Ah. That’s okay. Scar backs off a bit. He recognizes when he’s not really in with a chance.

Maybe this thing he has with Grian is just going to be a friendship, and that’s okay! Having a crush is fun even if you’re not going to do anything about it. Scar is going to build some shops about it and be normal.

Both of them are going to be very normal.

FLIRTING (First Stages) – mid-Season 6

Both of them immediately forget to be normal.

Grian has started a detective agency and has no mysteries to solve. Scar instantly invents a cookie-based mystery supervillain called the Jangler and leaves Grian a series of tantalizing cookie-based puzzles for enrichment in his enclosure.

Grian has invented a game where you kill people with rockets. Scar volunteers to get murdered. Both of them are delighted.

Scar and Cub’s business empire is incidentally crushing Grian’s startup venture. There is no reason for this to be so flirtatiously charged.

At this point all the hermits move to a new village because of the Minecraft update. Grian starts a who-can-build-the-tallest-house war with Mumbo and Iskall. Scar notices and starts doing the same from the other side of the village.

It quickly gets so wild that Mumbo taps out (Mumbo does not do well with intensity, would rather just not, thankyouverymuch), and it's only Grian, Iskall and Scar.

Scar builds a wild giant plant eating his rocketship, and then a castle in the sky, and an enormous version of himself firing a canon at Grian's house. This is the first time you can really see Grian trying to hold in shrieks when he flies back in to see what Scar has done while he's gone.

Grian’s interest has been caught. He’s gone from barely seeing Scar to checking on him regularly. What’s our good friend Scar up to? What’s Scar done? What is Scar going to do next?

FLIRTING (How To Catch Your Crush’s Interest By Building A Secret Government Facility) – late Season 6

What Scar does next is put on a snazzy military uniform, team up with Doc to steal the time machine Grian invented last week, then, in the most effort someone has EVER gone to to get Grian's attention, spend weeks on end building a fully-functional 'Area 77' military base and containment facility to stop him getting it back.

Turns out this works beyond Scar’s wildest dreams.

Grian INSTANTLY obsessed with breaking into Scar’s base and retrieving his time machine.

Grian persuades Ren into forming a hippie camp with him next to the base and spends weeks entirely fixated on Scar. Meanwhile Scar, who is starting to really understand how to get and keep Grian's attention, builds more and fancier infrastructure to keep Grian out. This is also where Grian really starts looking at Scar's art—the insane cliffs Scar has build around his new hangers—and awkwardly not quite managing words, because it would be very embarrassing to just outright say the word beautiful, and Grian’s a very normal and non-embarrassing person.

In the climax of the season, Grian-the-hippie breaks into General Scar’s base.

Nobody can say that Scar making himself a top brass general and Grian making himself an anti-establishment flower power hippie does not end up with plausibly-deniable not-making-out Grian-provoking-Scar-into-holding-him-against-a-wall.

but.

BUT.

This is Hermitcraft. It’s temporary. Scar and Grian both know it was a bit. A bit they both got super into, sure! But a bit. Not weird at all.

(“Sure, mate, not weird at all,” Mumbo says, after all of this is over. “Then why are you making it SOUND weird Mumbo you’re the WORST”)*

(“Sooo....” Cub says, and Scar says, “I know. I know!”)*

*not canon but you can't tell me it didn't happen off screen

FLIRTING (But What About…) – early Season 7

Okay, so that was weird, but Grian is definitely still in love with Mumbo. The Mumbo pursuit is going great and Mumbo definitely doesn’t look nervous whenever Grian turns up with a new idea. Grian is going to get Mumbo to fall in love with him and they will marry in the spring and have a dozen beautiful children redstone contraptions.

Grian attempts to make it more official with Mumbo. Surely they have been flirting long enough, they are ready for the next stage! This is in no way a reaction to Scar becoming a weird wizard in a way very unsettling to Grian and building the kind of wild organic tangled forest build that Grian is fascinated by but can't even begin to comprehend.

Everything is very under control in Grian's life. He's now official boyfriends with Mumbo. They live together and have a messaging system and everything.

Mumbo announces he’s moving out.

It’s-not-you-it’s-me

You’re… you’re moving out? Grian says, in the smallest possible voice.

We’ll still have the messaging system, Mumbo says, unconvincingly.

FINE, Grian says, I’m moving out TOO.

Mumbo moves out.

Grian deals with this in the healthiest possible way. He invents a mayorship and attempts to give it to Mumbo.

Grian is Mumbo’s self-appointed campaign manager so Mumbo has to be round him ALL THE TIME, it’s for the CAMPAIGN, Mumbo.

Mumbo, a man who doesn’t deal well with pressure or responsibility, is maybe not the ideal choice for mayor, something that has escaped Grian entirely.

Mumbo builds a robot and attempts to palm off all responsibility for decision-making onto it. Grian immediately calls it their son.

Grian puts his moustache all over the server.

NO other hermits support them for mayor (except Scar, from a lost bet, who Grian has continued to have intensely weird flirtations with while all this is happening)

Things reach a fever pitch. Election day arrives. Mumbo doesn’t want this actually but try telling Grian that. The entire MumboGrian edifice that Grian has obsessively and wildly build has reached an unsustainable pitch and finally comes tumbling down around them.

Mumbo votes Scar for mayor.

Grian votes Scar for mayor.

Mumbo disappears for several weeks to do some nice soothing redstone and calm down.

FLIRTING (Civil War) – late Season 7

Everything has calmed down now. Scar is mayor. Mumbo is...somewhere. Grian is going to work on his base normally.

Grian has a new project. He wants to build in the new nether biomes. He builds a huge and echoing and obsessively inverse version of his huge and echoing and obsessively symmetrical mansion base. It's very impressive. It's totally hollow. There's... no one else here.

Grian decides that okay, he is going to bring PEOPLE here.

He invites Mumbo, because he hasn't seen him in weeks. He invites Bdubs, because Grian above all loves genius. And he invites Scar. Because of course. Everything major Grian does now, Scar is an of course.

Bdubs shows up! Generously builds Grian's entire mansion interior. Mumbo shows up. Builds a tiny upside down disco shack.

Scar does not show up.

Scar is being mayor! Scar is a very busy and important man! Scar has spent the last few weeks obsessively replacing every single goddamn mycelium block in the shopping district with beautifully tailored grass and making trees whose flowers are diamonds. He's also got his own megabase going on. For once Scar has so much to do it's even enough for Scar's ambitions, which have never been small.

He does not come when Grian calls.

Grian is Not Happy.

This is the point where Grian starts a steadily more unhinged campaign of leaving Scar invitations. He makes little tailor's dummies of himself and delivers them to Scar's house. He sets up a tea party of three grians in a secret space under Scar's mayoral throne. He hangs himself in effigy on the tip of Scar's megadrill build. Normal behavior.

And then when Scar still doesn't notice, he puts a tiny bit of mycelium back on one of the streets of the shopping district.

This starts… THE MYCELIUM WARS

Scar attempts to contain the growing mycelium patch with warning tape.

Grian spreads more mushroom spores.

Scar brings in his allies to help contain the growing mushroom patches.

Grian digs out an underground rebel HQ, recruits several rebels, and declares himself Motherspore.

Mayor Scar stares into a camera and uses his most velvety baritone to proclaim he will hunt down Grian and the mycelium resistance and bring them to justice.

Grian sets loose mushroom-spreading sheep.

Mayor Scar obsessively searches for his base.

Grian and Impulse build several decoy bases and trap them.

Mayor Scar employs Mumbo to strip-mine every block of the shopping district with redstone tunnel-borers.

Eventually Deputy Mayor Bdubs, having his own thing with rebel Etho, tricks all of the resistance into ender-pearling into jail.

Scar gets to threaten to pour lava on an imprisoned Grian for ten minutes straight and they’re both enjoying this so much.

Grian: Scar! SCAR! Scar Scar Scar no Scar no Scar no listen Scar

Scar: Yes?

Grian: …Let’s take this somewhere else.

They ‘take this’ to Scar’s beautifully-appointed mayoral office. Grian sits on the arm of his chair (I don’t know what to tell you, this is on-screen canon).

Grian: So I know how to end the war.

Grian: We have to play minigames and make personal bets.

Grian: And Scar, Scar, if you lose…

Scar: Yes?

Grian: … you have to help build my base.

Entire room: [stunned silence]

Etho: Is this what it was about the whole time, Grian?

So! That happened. And the thing is, they could both mentally pass off the area 77 general/hippie stuff as Just A Fun Bit That Got Very Intense.

They can't do this with the mayor/motherspore stuff. They are basically making out on Scar’s chair. The resistance have noticed. The mayoral staff have noticed. EVERYONE has noticed.

Scar is into it. Scar is going along with it. Scar knows he’d had a crush for a long time, and he isn't scared of swimming with a huge wave, never mind where it's going to break. Scar has always embraced the rush. With Grian, you never know what’s going to happen next.

Grian has always loved being around Scar because there’s so much going on that you don’t have to think. Grian doesn’t have to think until everything’s calmed down. It's not until now that he stops and realizes… could this be… something.

(Maybe it already is.)

And then, by whatever eldritch mechanic you personally favor:

3rd life begins.

HEAD-OVER-HEELS – Third Life

In the tiny claustrophobic stripped-bare world of Third Life, Grian makes a choice. Grian thinks, for once very, very clearly: what if it wasn't a bit? What if it was real. What if Grian took every explosive piece of who he was and handed it over to someone he's—okay, he'll admit it—someone he's been obsessed with for a long time. What if that heady sparkle he's been seeing in the corner of his vision is true. What happens if you grab it with both hands?

Scar—surprised, bemused, amazed but wrong-footed—almost doesn't know what to DO with this.

Scar is so used to Grian layering all his obsession behind a thick layer of irony and drama and second-guessing and schemes. ‘Sure we can make out but only if I'm trailing mushroom spores and you're wearing that sash.’ ‘I'm only here because Mumbo's not around.’ ‘It’s not a thing.’ ‘It's not real.’

But it is real.

And, for once, Scar hears a tiny alarm go off in his brain. Scar knows Grian better than anyone else does, by now, and even he doesn't know where this ends. Grian is a force of nature and Scar has never been his unfiltered target. But Grian's throwing himself into this, throwing himself at Scar. And Scar always says 'yes.' 'Yes, and.' 'Yes, let's'. Scar never wants less of Grian. Scar has always taken what he can get.

But with that warning bell, Scar does try to keep that slight layer of dramatic distance, even in this new world where you can die and not come back, even if they don't know if they'll get out of this alive. Scar doesn't fully buy into Grian's second-in-command-devotion, he forces a space for Grian to still be the Grian he knows, some kind of safety vent (‘here's a bee on a lead’). And it could be a lot of reasons, but part of it is…Grian's head-over-heels, for once, and Scar has the unfamiliar feeling of needing to be the one to look where they're going.

Because where they're going is: the last two, all their friends dead, not knowing if there's any way to survive but knowing their friends haven't come back, and at that point Scar takes off the very last of his brakes and the very last of his reservations and says:

For everything you've done for me you can kill me.

(I want this. I want it to be you.)

This breaks Grian absolutely and completely.

And not broken in the fun way! Grian is too far in. Grian let go of Mumbo, who was safe because Mumbo never let it get too far, and he took a risk on Scar, and now Grian is discovering that he didn’t even know what risk meant. Grian is in emotional pain he never suspected existed. Grian has let himself put all his gambling chips on someone who wasn't SAFE and he has lost.

Grian has LOST SCAR and he has LOST HIMSELF and he has FOUND OUT HE CAN BE HURT and he is never going to be the fucking same again.

Scar is in the pond with Grian’s sword at his unresisting neck. And Scar is going to die, and Scar (damn him damn him) has turned it into: he's going to die for Grian. Now Grian is hurting, he's complicit, it turns out grief is an inevitable part of love and beauty, this is all it's taken for Grian's worldview to fall apart in pieces he can't pick up, and Grian has no defenses against pain so there's obviously no way to cope except to beat Scar to death in a cactus ring and jump off a cliff.

AFTERMATH – Season 8

They wake up in Hermitcraft.

They wake up in Hermitcraft! Scar is delighted to find out they just reincarnate, after all that!

Sure, they've all got some lingering trauma but Scar has never let that stop him from doing anything. Scar thought that whole thing went well! He just about dares to think...romantic...? Maybe...?

Grian is Normal to him.

Grian is so fucking normal. it's like. s6 normal.

Scar is. kind of. confused.

Grian is NOT acting like someone he had a romantic death match with.

(Grian is falling apart, but if there's one thing Grian has proved in his building it’s that he’s SO. fucking. good. at facades.)

(Don't go round the back.)

Neither of them are ready for the death game to repeat.

DIVORCE (Traumatic) – Last Life, Season 8

Second death game. Grian deals with his trauma super well by isolating Scar, stealing all his friends, tricking a life out of him, dropping his horse in lava, forcing him into an extortion death loop, then abandoning him and—just as a bonus—murdering Mumbo as well.

This time it’s Scar who comes back falling apart.

A theory that seems plausible: Scar’s old friend Cub picks him up, puts him back together, gets him on his feet. What we do know is that Cub moves in next to Boatem, where Scar is still living with Grian, and incidentally builds an enormous dripstone megabiome that is coincidentally very hostile and might murder you upon landing if you're someone who flies a lot, or happens to be a bird.

There’s a hole with an endless dark void between Scar and Grian’s Boatem bases. They built it together. It’s around this time they both keep repeatedly falling in it.

DIVORCE (But When It Was Good It Was So Good) – Season 8, Double Life

Then the moon gets big. Gets close. Gravity breaks down and that should be the end, should be a way out of this terrible spiral they're in, surely they're better without each other—

Grian turns up at Scar's base and says: Scar. Build us an escape pod.

—and Scar does.

They go out together. Both of them can feel the pull back into each other’s orbit but they’ll die if they acknowledge it. At the end of it all, the void, the protective suits, the unbearable gravity of falling into space together, of holding each other until another uncertain end. They're nowhere but they're in it together.

Is this a good time for another death game? Of course. How much worse can it get.

Double Life, and this time Scar keeps his distance. My soulmate is this allay! My soulmate is my cat! I don’t need a soulmate. Oh—it’s Grian? This whole time? Hahaha. How funny.

Grian: Soo… do you want to base together?

Scar: Do we have to?

Grian: It…might be nice…?

Scar is wary.

He has been burned.

But the pull is still there. The pull is always there. You can’t forget Grian, but you can blunt the edge of him on your skin. Scar is here to take care of these cat-pandas. Grian can do what he likes.

Cheated of Scar’s full attention, Grian tries to tempt BigB into a pale imitation of the Scarian folie à deux (BigB is a genuinely nice man who does not deserve this).

The rest of the server turn red, one by one. Grian and Scar are the last greens. BigB is audibly nervous when Grian proposes a red-green alliance, even though BigB is the red, he has the power. But Grian can’t escape the rest of the server, and the red hunt begins.

Grian and Scar, hunted—trapped at the top of flaming towers, jumping from heights, chased down like foxes at bay, crammed into boltholes with their hands over each other’s mouths, Grian shrieks and laughs and falls back on Scar and Scar catches him and they’re both as alive and elated as they’ve ever been. Scar dies once to Ren and BigB’s zombies and Grian murders both BigB and Ren in revenge (BigB was right to be nervous). Grian has another unhinged murder plan underway when he dies for the last time.

This whole time, Grian was hit in the face by remembering that when it's good, it's so good.

Scar isn’t surprised. Scar has known that forever.

Back in Hermitcraft, its not magically fixed. They’re not innocent any more. But every time Grian looks at Scar he remembers: when it’s good, it’s so good.

And Scar never forgot.

DIVORCE (We’re In Love And We’re Not Done Yet) – Season 9, Limited Life

By now we're into Season 9. They’re still alive. They always live, they always start again, and the other one is just there. Being, infuriatingly and magnetically, them.

Grian is thoroughly annoyed by Scar’s new allegiance to King Ren, but he keeps coming back to Scarland anyway. Scar, I made you an obstacle course. Scar, stand here and get squashed by this anvil. Scar if you don’t do something I’m going to start a resistance.

Grian pretends King Ren doesn’t exist and he has more important things to do, and pretends this so hard that he incidentally invents a mad science robot pulls them all through into the Empires dimension.

Scar, assuming Grian is doing his own thing, shacks up with Jimmy.

It takes Grian three weeks to notice and be shriekingly outraged.

Scar we’re doing a project. Scar you can’t spend all your time with Jimmy! Join my cult. Get in my shrinking machine. I made you an enchanted netherite bow. I need your allegiance. (Another real quote).

Scar teases Grian for weeks then instantly abandons Jimmy when the choice comes down to him or Grian.

Fourth death game—they’re used to this, now. Nothing too intense. Nothing too weird. Grian can’t help murdering Scar.

At this point, Scar is starting to read it as: I love you.

And that’s how we get to the current Scarian dynamic we know and love of you're the worst and I'm the worst and we've divorced a few time but we still like each other so fucking much.

It's been years. They've killed each other every possible way. These two characters are in love and they're not done yet.

[the-fandom-is-now-my-life]

The meow-fia of Sinostra

Sinostra as kitties

Wc: ~660

Taiga

Reddish bengal who got put in adoption because of his aggressiveness and his former owner had kids.

Doesn't even look at kibble, only eats raw meat, preferably one from prey he hunted but beef makes do. You have to clean his face though, he is quite a messy eater and ends up having blood over his whiskers.

On a similar note, he has a thing for mouse shaped toys that run around. He does end up breaking them in a week or less (that is why he always tries to steal Haru's peekaboo but never for long enough to break it).

His hunting drive is still sharp, running after pigeons and little animals to sink his claws in and he is fairly successful. For the sake of your local environment keep him locked up.

His relationship with Romeo is quite strange, sometimes he acts like he will start fights, hissing and arching his back, with him before stopping and start licking him, even if Romeo pushes him away.

Will make you believe you can touch him but will bite and scratch your hand as soon as it's anywhere close. He doesn't like it if any of the other cats do it and will start attacking them roughly enough for you to get in and separate them.

He is quite a playful cat when he isn't on one of his violent moods attacking you, whatever simulates chasing prey or even enrichment toys where he guesses where the treat is.

Romeo Scorpius Lucci

A fluffy and pompous black Persian who grooms himself constantly.

A competition cat whose original family went broke and didn't have enough money to keep going to competitions or even keeping pets, so he was given to you.

Because he is quite particular about his food, not liking any dry kibble and barely eating some wet foods, so you feed him the same as taiga, raw meat and some veggies.

He spends his whole day perched on the highest point of the cat tower, looking down at you and the other cats. When Taiga usurps his place he hisses but never dares to do anything else.

If you have any kind of jewelry like rings, necklaces or earrings he likes to snoop around the shiny things. If you do makeup he perches himself on your lap when you start doing it, and even meows loudly reproaching you when your eyeliner smudges or you use the wrong color.

When he sees how much attention you give to Ritsu because he is the only one who listens he feels slightly jealous and might push him away when you start to compliment him and take his place. Otherwise he sits on your chest when you sleep weighing you down when you try to get up.

Ritsu

(I'll admit I didn't know what cat would fit best but because of looks this one feels good) a very small Burmese kitty who accepted really quickly any rules inside the house.

He keeps your rules being enforced, meowing at taiga for hunting wild birds or Romeo for sleeping in your bed/stealing jewelry. Because he is so annoying they swat at him but he is just quick enough to evade them without a scratch.

The same way he does chime at you if you do something incorrectly in his eyes like closing doors or feeding them the wrong kibble.

If you want to touch him, put out your hand and wait for him to plop next to your leg, otherwise he will dislike it and hiss and run away and next time you see him he will stand a few meters away, face slightly scrunched in annoyance.

He does really like praise though so he is really easy to train, his eyes go wide at the soft words and the little treat. But he will do it even without the prompt and still expect praise.

Sometimes he slips under your blanket and makes biscuits on your tummy. The seller told you that his mom was unable to finish caring for him so he might have taken you as a caretaker too.

[chimielie]

wonderland

summary: didn’t they tell us ‘don’t rush into things?’ didn’t you flash your green eyes at me? haven’t you heard what becomes of curious minds? (or: what happens after graduation to a pair of teenagers in love)

word count: 1k

cw: irresponsible decision making (but i assure you there will be no consequences), The Teenage Need To Get The Fuck Out Of Your Hometown, mountains of fluff, my usual Thing iykyk, excessive 1989-related puns

hajime’s never considered himself an impulsive person.

sure, he’s: headstrong, audacious, hotheaded. but he almost always has oikawa spearheading his more reckless decisions with wild emotional situations, a shield that makes him look like a calm, responsible adult. oikawa could make almost anyone look sane.

hajime is pretty sure even oikawa would call him crazy right now, if oikawa weren’t in argentina. maybe, for all his turbulent nature, his friend really is some grounding force; since he’s been gone, hajime’s felt on the precipice of something… big. earth-shattering.

“i just can’t stand it,” you say, head lolled back onto his shoulder, spine curving into his chest. hajime is trying valiantly to ignore the soft weight of your ass on his lap, even though you’re mostly sitting between his applesauce-crossed legs. he can feel it, though, against his right thigh. he is failing miserably. “it feels like everyone’s moving and i’m… stuck.”

“stuck,” he echoes, and you roll your head so you’re looking right, out of his bedroom window at the familiar landscape of miyagi. the sun is close to setting, having burned through the daytime clouds and casting a brilliant glow over you. your lips look darker and fuller and more kissable in this light, he’d thought earlier, right before he’d kissed them bruised.

“more like a balloon,” you muse. “on a still day. just drifting up, and up, and up, and the birds are just flying by.”

he hums, deep in his chest, in agreement. something’s felt wrong ever since graduation. you and he had stayed, and it had been what you both wanted at first.

but not like this.

miyagi without oikawa, without makki, who was rooming with mattsun in the city while the latter earned his junior degree and the former chased youtube fame, wasn’t what he’d thought it would be at all.

“it’s gonna be all ours,” you’d promised him, graduation cap tilted jauntily and smile brighter than the pure white clouds drifting above. “you’re all i need, hajime.”

but miyagi without the people you’d grown up with was empty, a melody that only echoed memories. it was you and him—and the ghosts of your childhoods.

“you’re not happy here,” he says. not a question.

you twist to look at him, eyes open wide. “i’m happy with you. i didn’t mean—”

“i know,” he says, kissing your pursed, worried mouth. “but we’re not happy here. i feel it too. maybe i’m crazy, but i think we need—”

“change!” you’re sitting straighter in his lap now. “every day is the same. i’m starting to feel like i need to do something insane. i need enrichment in my enclosure.”

he puts his arms around you and you draw yourself tighter into him until you’re cheek to cheek.

“do you trust me?” he says. you snort.

“what is this, haji, aladdin?”

“yes,” he says, rolling his eyes. in this light, they’re a forest, green and deep and irresistibly inviting to you. “do you trust me, princess?”

you nod, and he feels it against him, your skin rasping together. “of course. take me to wonderland.”

“that’s corny, too,” hajime grumbles. “don’t criticize my romantic gestures then reference the wrong movie.”

“whatever,” you brush him off. “how much do we need to pack?”

that’s how the sun sets on your last night in miyagi.

hayakawa tomoka’s job at the ticket counter is so boring. she sits there all night—during the day, she studies fine art—, a magazine propped up in front of her, arching high brows at anyone who hadn’t had the forethought to buy tickets online.

she does so now at the young couple skidding to a stop in front of her, suitcases bulging even if there’s only one each, panting for breath and knocking shoulders as though even their bodies are on a gravitational course to each other. they can’t be more than twenty.

“when’s your next flight to california?” one asks, his straight hair sticking up like a hedgehog.

“…where in california?” hayakawa asks, pointing her mouth at them. “it’s a big state.”

“anywhere,” the other says. “we’ll find our way to where we need to be.”

hayakawa blinks slowly at them. these new romantics are too exhausting to deal with at this hour. she types, click-click-click, wrinkling her forehead at the blue glow of her computer.

you stare anxiously at her as she does, desperately hoping for anything in the next day.

hajime tugs you into him as you wait, and you relax, turning a closed-eye smile up at him while he looks down on you with a mirrored expression.

“too impulsive for you yet?” he says, mouth twisting wryly. you shake your head.

“there’s one to santa ana,” hayakawa says. “the south. in five hours.”

“perfect,” you say eagerly.

“thank you,” hajime says.

there are two seats free next to each other, serendipitously. ticket prices are exorbitant, but not bank-breaking—both of you had worked all of high school at the café next door, earning good tips and waiting for something worth spending it on.

“okay,” hayakawa says finally. “your flight’s set, mr. and mrs. iwaizumi. safe travels.”

“thank you,” you say effusively, “so much.”

“you too,” says hajime, and then turns very red.

hayakawa watches you go, a rare and soft smile gracing her features as your suitcases crash into each other even as both of you refuse to let go of the other’s hand to control their direction. the night shift is boring. something like this shakes things up.

after a race—more like a marathon—through customs, hajime finds himself shifting in a plastic seat, peering through the blackness of the night for a glimpse of airplanes landing. falling stars, sort of, magic to be wished on. you breathe evenly, deeply asleep with your head on his shoulder, his denim jacket wrapped around you, leaving him with just his hoodie and the new band of cheap jewelry around his fourth finger.

his mother would flip if she knew how rushed his wedding was. next time, he promises himself, he’ll do it again with you if you’ll keep having him and the ceremony will be beyond your wildest dreams.

it’s colder than he thought it would be in the airport. the earth is moving under his feet.

you’re all he needs; he’s gonna give you the world.

[bokettochild]

Hello Apple! I’m working on a puzzle, how would the LU boys do w a puzzle? Would they actually do it or would they set it on fire (I’m looking at u Wild!😑😂)

Ooh! Puzzles!

I think at the very least, Legend is the sort of person who you hand a puzzle and he will be diligently working on it still six hours later (I'm thinking this is probably a 1,000+ piece one, my fav!). He's very happy, although his spine is decidedly not (lol). Puzzles are the most familiar thing this guy can be working on other than fighting, and are much more relaxing. Happy space for him, bunny enrichment. He starts puzzles by trying to work on the edges, but usually ends up getting sidetracked with recognizable items or pieces that clearly go together. Takes great delight in piecing together small chunks he's already completed into a bigger chunk, but he refuses to look at the box in order to do so (he likes the challenge of figuring it out himself). I think he's very careful when moving portions so they won't break too. Tends to hum or sing as he works, although it's sort of distorted by curling up like he does over the puzzle.

I feel like Warriors enjoys them too. Less so all by himself, but give him a puzzle buddy and he's happy to put together all the little pieces into something bigger. It's mentally stimulating while also not too strenuous. He's either humming or chatting the whole while, and he probably would love a long conversation with his puzzle partner while they're working. He's also the sort to start with the border, but he'd actually finish before going elsewhere. He sorts the pieces by similar color/texture as he goes, which definitely makes things easier for whomever he's working with, which is his intent. there's nothing more satisfying for him than being able to help his partner find the exact piece they need and than watching their face light up.

Four is the sort of person you would expect to enjoy puzzles, but in reality, it's a nightmare trying to work with four different voices wanting to do different things. Vio gets irritated sometimes with how long it takes and how many times he has to look for certain pieces. He'd rather be doing other stuff. Red doesn't particularly enjoy big puzzles, but he's also the sort to sort pieces for his brothers. He likes making piles of the pieces for Green and Blue and then just going off elsewhere. Blue actually really enjoys puzzles, because they small details and the satisfaction of seeing them come together make his perfectionist brain happy (he will lose his mind if there is a single piece missing at the end though). Green just likes them, more casually than anything. He'll do them with Blue, but not on his own.

Hyrule finds them sort of boring. He, like Green, will help for a short while, but he doesn't get the appeal of putting together small pieces of cardboard into a big picture. He's not even likely to do it as a bonding thing, and gets bored sort of quickly.

Wind enjoys puzzles in the short term. He'll work on smaller ones (500-) in spurts or pop in and out to help, but the bigger ones just make him want to give up after a while. it's not because he doesn't want to help, it's just he has too much energy and not enough of an attention span to sit still putting a puzzle together. He's happy to help on and off though if anyone else doing the puzzle will let him. Puts together the recognizable or large portions first, but spends a lot of time looking at the box to see where everything goes.

For Time, count him out. His patience cannot with these things. There's too many fiddly pieces and he's only got one eye to look at them all with. Like heck he's going to stare at them for hours on end just to make a picture!

Sky will help if he likes what the puzzle depicts, but he's more there for the company, and gets easily distracted. He's the one who ends up holding a puzzle piece for forever, just chatting with someone else until Legend realizes that he's got the very piece the vet has been searching for, and thus gets smacked for it. He does best with borders, since it's easier (sort of) to find the pieces and there's only so many ways that they can fit together. If he starts the puzzle with you though, he'll try and stick with you till the end, just because he hates leaving things unfinished, even if he really didn't help a lot.

Twilight has to be in the mood. He's not keen on them most of the time, but animal puzzles are a good distraction sometimes, and if he's doing it with kids then he is all over it. He likes helping others do it more than actually doing it himself, and he's definitely one of the ones who prefers smaller puzzles with only a few hundred pieces.

I think Wild is the sort that says he likes puzzles, but most of his puzzle doing time is spent staring at the pieces and trying not to pull his hair out while trying to find the right ones. He tries so hard to get the pieces to fit together, but his brain isn't wired for this sort of puzzle-solving. He likes the time spent with others, or says he does, but he really just drives the people around him crazy when he tries to help. Flora and Legend both have banned him from helping them with puzzles (Flora also greatly enjoys puzzles, her feet dance under the table when she works on them and she smiles a lot more while working on them).

[rageprufrock]

Sneak Peak: MLC Fanfic

I have so many chores to do so instead I am on tumblr posting this little snippet instead because adulthood is a SCAM.

Anyway, please have some in-progress modern AU where Jiao Liqiao hits Di Feisheng with a car.

The whole thing starts when Jiao Liqiao hits Di Feisheng with an orange Hummer outside of the Alliance Security headquarters while he's on the phone with Li Lianhua.

***

Six hours later, Li Lianhua is sitting around in Di Feisheng's hospital room dressed like someone's dad's dirty uncle best friend: beat up pajama pants, a shirt he'd grabbed at random hearing the shriek of tires through the phone line, and a pair of Fang Duobing's fucking sky blue Adidas slides he'd stolen as he'd bolted out the door.

"It's not that I want to criticize you, lao-Di," Li Lianhua says, critically, "but I told you to run that woman out of town as soon as humanly possible at least five times."

Di Feisheng, who's been provided pain medication and is angry about it, busies himself with glaring at the ceiling. 

"Now look at you," Li Lianhua goes on, like a bastard, "you've got a hairline fracture in your foot, you've got a broken leg, three cracked ribs, a low grade concussion, and also you're the top four trending tags on Weibo." 

That these are factual statements does not make Li Lianhua's continued, unwanted presence in Di Feisheng's hospital room any less insufferable. 

"Alliance Security CEO accident," Li Lianhua reads off his phone. "Alliance CEO car crash. Alliance CEO crazy girlfriend. Alliance CEO handsome." 

Di Feisheng's head lolls around so he can center a wild-eyed glare at Li Lianhua.

"Why are you here?" he asks through gritted teeth.

Li Lianhua squints at him. "Can you be considered human?" he demands. "There I was, enjoying my Saturday morning like a normal person—"

"You were calling me to complain that our CDN felt 'kind of slow,' like an asshole," Di Feisheng corrects.

"—and then I hear you yelling and the sounds of vehicular violence," Li Lianhua goes on. "Any person with a heart would be concerned."

"Fang Duobing made you come," Di Feisheng says.

"Fang Duobing made me come," Li Lianhua agrees.

"Well I'm not dead, so you can leave now," Di Feisheng mutters.

"'As someone who has also wanted to hit their boss with a car, but never truly had the courage, I respectfully acknowledge Jiao Liqiao as my master and will endeavor to serve her as a faithful student in all things,'" Li Lianhua reads, going back to scrolling through Weibo. "'I never want to know the truth or any details about why she did it. Just that she hit this beautiful mean-faced millionaire with a car is enough. I would die for her.'"  

Di Feisheng goes back to staring at the ceiling and begins to systematically reflect on the wrongs that have led to specific terrible moment. This begins with lingering resentment over college scheduling that had put him in a 9:30 programming basics class with Li Xiangyi and concludes with admitting that perhaps Fang Duobing had been right when he'd said, two years ago, "A'Fei, you can't just tell a woman it's fine if she's in love with you and that you guys can keep working together but that it's none of your business." But at that point, Fang Duobing was still the infant Li Xiangyi was fucking as some kind of weird post mental breakdown enrichment activity, and seemed like a poor source of professional counseling. In the years since, Di Feisheng can admit that while Fang Duobing continues to be an infant Li Xiangyi is fucking as a weird post mental breakdown enrichment activity, he has a sharp and nuanced emotional intelligence—as long as it has nothing to do with his profoundly repulsive attachment to Li Xiangyi. 

"Miss Jiao is going to get some truly staggering letters in jail," Li Lianhua observes with audible admiration in his voice. For not the first and likely not the last time, Di Feisheng swears never to answer another phone call or text message from this bastard again.  

"If you like her so much, you should hire her once she's served her time," he mutters through gritted teeth. The sharp edge of pain is starting to break through the drugs, but he feels clearer, sharper, less like he's trying to hear shouting through the rush of a flowing river. "Is there a reason you're still hanging around here?" 

Li Lianhua slants him a look, beaming with charity. "Now don't get shy, A'Fei—"

"Stop calling me A'Fei," Di Feisheng snaps.

"—I came in a DiDi, so Xiaobao is coming to pick me up," Li Lianhua finishes. "You'll be back to your peace and blessed quiet soon." 

Which is of course the precise moment that little treasure of Li Lianhua's pokes his abominably sunny little face into the doorway of the sickroom and declares, all smiles:

"Okay! I just finished with the nursing jiejies! They’re wrapping up your discharge paperwork and we should be able to take you home with us this afternoon.” 

“What,” Di Feisheng and Li Lianhua say.

[not-poignant]

Birthday Spotlight - The Raven Prince

[20th February - Pisces]

The Raven Prince has been a highly divisive character since introduced. Beloved Unseelie King who created the most peaceable reign in existence for the Unseelie fae, or evil, cunning and manipulative trickster, he's a character that often has people feeling everything for him from pure hatred, to hero worship, to general love, to constant suspicion. And you know what? He'd love that.

The Raven Prince is a raven shifter who gave himself the name 'the Raven Prince' long before he ever became royalty, famously eating his true name from the minds of his parents. His true Unseelie appetite is feeding on words, languages, writing and even culture. He is a world class Master Mage, more powerful than anyone will ever truly comprehend, and he prefers diplomacy over bloodshed, but that doesn't mean he won't make mischief, or ruin someone's life, especially if he feels slighted.

The Raven Prince has been trickster, villain, antihero, hero, and just a raven. He has a complex relationship with everyone, but those who get to know him, tend to adore him.

But a story then? All right. I make no pretence at being a storyteller, I’m only a raven, and we only croak and caw don’t we? Try and find something of use in my words, or don’t, it matters little to me.

The Ice Plague II

Game Theory - (canon) Mentioned in the very first chapter, but never seen in the story, the Raven Prince's presence was already established as the 'King that Augus deposed/defeated' and drew everyone's suspicions towards him long before he ever officially became a villain who needed to be defeated by Gwyn ap Nudd. For years, no one - including readers - knew how Augus defeated the Raven Prince. And Augus wasn't about to tell a soul.

The Ice Plague II - The Seething Seas - (canon) The Raven Prince returns in the flesh for the first time in the canon, and manages to save everyone's ass several times over. But he does it in ways that doesn't endear him to anyone, and he seems to prefer it that way, right up until Augus breaks his heart.

A Broken Feather, Straightened - (canon) Asexual, sex averse, and not prone to romanticism, the Raven Prince is curious, nonetheless, about Augus' vocation as a professional dominant. Augus is determined to make the Raven Prince his, in his quest to eventually make him vulnerable enough to defeat.

These Troubled Times - (canon) Augus is determined to try and defeat the Raven Prince, and the Raven Prince is determined to make sure Augus is aware of his place beneath him, as servant and not master.

Deeper into the Woods - (canon) Mentioned only

The Nightingale and Terho the Mouse-Lad - (canon) Mentioned only

The Court of Five Thrones - (canon) Shown in Augus' flashbacks, and the question of how the Raven Prince was defeated is finally answered.

The Ice Plague I - A Forest of Fire - (canon) Only mentioned here.

The Ice Plague III - The Ice Plague - (canon) Creating a holograph of himself within a crystal to teach Mosk magic, his lessons are invaluable in teaching Mosk the finer points of learning magecraft.

All that We Were, All that We Will Ever Be - (canon) In Gwyn's and Augus' happy ending, the Raven Prince is an unexpected part of it, in ways that enrich their lives

The Wildness Within - (AU) The Raven Prince is a significant figure in this, as the one who takes on Gwyn as his apprentice in magic, learns how to become a softer person, and forces a higher Court status on Augus.

Spoils of the Spoiled - (AU) Only ever known as 'Mr Prince', the Raven Prince here is the master of the House of Ravens at Murdock College where Gwyn and Augus attend as students. A stern guide, and retired Olympic fencer.

Constellations - (AU) Mentioned only.

The Lone Wolf - (AU) Significant figure and master of Gwyn ap Nudd, and Unseelie King. Puts him in a difficult position, but still has love for this fae he adopted.

The King's Dog - (AU) Continuation of The Lone Wolf. Holds the Masque where he insists Gwyn attend and Augus be there.

The Nascent Diplomat - (AU) Continuation of The King's Dog. Unseelie King who finally learns the truth of Gwyn's past and fully steps into his role as Gwyn's father.

Underline the Blue - Cameo, and Nate Prince's uncle.

Underline the Silver - (upcoming) In which the Raven Prince (as Corbyn Prince - his human counterpart) will be a point-of-view character and omega opposite Augus Each Uisge, a peak alpha, in the Underline the Rainbow omegaverse.

A raven shifter.

Incredibly intelligent, known as the 'Wordsmith.' His dialogue is always quite precise and it's rare for him to fumble his words.

Black hair, black eyes, raven feathers in his hair.

Distinctive raven feather cloak and prefers wearing black shoes, black clothing, and a lot of silver chains with crystals that are charmed.

Age undetermined, but in the canon, over 10k years.

Unseelie King and the most beloved of the Unseelie Kings

A fae superstar even among the superstars

A fickle trickster who can sometimes be profoundly childish or profoundly mature, the most like the Gentry of all the fae we meet. He can be petty and cruel, but he has a soft heart deep, deep, deep down. Unfortunately it doesn't stop him from doing some truly horrendous things.

One of the strongest magic users in existence. Master Mage, trained at the School of the Staff.

Eats language.

Selfish but drawn to roles of service.

Lively curiosity.

Incredibly self deprecating followed by grandiose statements which are often just him dropping facts because he really is that powerful.

Strongly prefers his raven form, and feels 'clumsy' in human form, which goes some way to explaining why all his actions seem so precise in human form.

Finding Augus incredibly and bewitchingly attractive (and sometimes even falling in love with him), and constantly insulting Gwyn and Ash (but secretly quite liking Gwyn).

That's NOT how you deal with Ash's debt to Olphix, the Raven Prince! (The Ice Plague II)

Being known as the defeated King, and then finally finding out he was behind it all.

Giving Augus to the Nightingale to protect himself and the Kingdom

All his moments with Mosk on the Mantissa, especially on the crow's nest.

Always has black eyes and black hair

Excellent at fencing in every universe

A precise, educated manner of speaking, highly self-educated, comes from humble origins.

Trauma in his background that's often undisclosed for a long time.

Big reader, into languages, finds culture fascinating. Often a writer.

Educator.

Puts himself in roles where he is in service to others (King & educator being the most common)

Has body dysmorphia (when in human form in the fae realm, and the rest of the time just in general).

The Raven Prince was partially inspired by the character of Jareth as played by David Bowie in The Labyrinth.

He gave himself the name 'the Raven Prince' before he was ever royalty, and due to his ability to eat language, he at the memory of his true name out of his family's minds. As a result, he is the only one who knows his true name. (And no, it's not Corbyn, that's just the name I have for him when he's human which hilariously means 'Raven.')

A lot of people tend to assume the Raven Prince is a top in the bedroom, but he's naturally a bottom, and leans towards a degree of submission when the circumstances are safe. He's asexual, but curious about the sensations around sex.

The most divisive Fae Tales character I've ever written. The people who love him, love him. The people who hate him, hate him. I love him. He's probably in the top five characters I've ever written. Maybe even the top three.

Initially I built up his reputation and power by intentionally never having him in stories for years, and only ever having people refer to him with often a great sense of nostalgia (or in Augus' case, bitterness and regret). By the time he appeared in the canon, in the present, over half a decade had gone by, yet it felt like he'd been with us for a long time. But this was an intentional writing technique, and it's one of my favourites.

I no longer crave death. But I am only a bird, and I fear what comes next.

The Ice Plague II

[orcinus-veterinarius]

I’ve seen this video circulating recently and was wondering if you had any idea what’s going on and why the orca is doing this. I don’t know much about cetaceans

Hello! Thanks for the ask.

So this gentleman is Nakhod, one of the adult male orcas at Chimelong Spaceship (which is in China, so it would not be even remotely affected by the SWIMS Act promoted in the video’s caption). Let’s preface by saying that since I don’t actually know this animal or the specifics of his care, I can’t come to any hard and fast conclusions from watching a 20 second video.

The Instagram page you linked is using this clip as proof of “mental health issues.” First off, animals can’t be diagnosed with mental health disorders as we understand them, but I think it’s safe to say they’re referring to stereotypies.

This could absolutely be a stereotypy, and I definitely don’t want to diminish that possibility. However, but its very nature, a stereotypy must be repeated. In this 20-second clip, we only see Nakhod smack his head once before swimming off, so this particular incident doesn’t seem overly stereotypical. Personally, I think it’s more likely he’s displaying misdirected aggressive behavior, particularly since he opens his mouth afterward. As for what’s causing him to be so frustrated, it could be he’s annoyed at the guests. But the fact that he very clearly smacks his genital slit against the acrylic really makes me think it may be sexual.

Chimelong is actively breeding its orcas (Nakhod himself has already sired a calf), so we know their whales are not on birth control (at least not all the time). It’s certainly within the realm of possibility that there was a female in estrus that he was either separated from or rebuffed by. From personal experience, male cetaceans tend to get a little crazy when the females are receptive, and that includes aggressive displays. If I had to go with my gut, I think this is sexual behavior. But again, that’s pure speculation on my part.

So, in conclusion, I don’t know for sure what’s going on. He could be developing a stereotypy, or he could be frustrated, sexually or not. It’s not a benign behavior, but it’s also not automatic evidence of extreme distress.

Note: Normal orca vocals sound sad and pathetic. They’re not screaming or wailing, that’s just how they are. Not sure if the video said “sound on” to hear that or the thuds from him banging the acrylic.

Another note: My overall feelings on Chimelong are really complicated. They purchased their whales from wild captures 8-10 years ago, but their current facility is by far the largest and certainly the most enriching orca habitat ever built. They’ve also had a lot of success breeding healthy calves, which indicates they’re at least doing something right. At the same time, the park is outer space themed for some reason, and since I can’t read or speak Mandarin, I have no idea what the educational value of the aquarium section is. But I hope the Chimelong pod does for China what Shamu did for the United States—inspire a passion for orcas.

[stupidfateheadcanons]

oh i 100% want to know who you think would unironically wear christmas sweaters/and or ugly non denominational ones (and who is easily bullied into wearing them)

Karna

is canonically autistic about crabs due to their warrior prowess and ability to face their enemies head-on, making a santa-crab sweater the perfect choice as he tries to fit in with chaldea for the holidays.

does not understand why Ganesha makes that Face about it, and later asks his master if they're aware of the significance of the number 420.

Santa Karna

Has learned how to be more properly Festive, in his perception of the word festive, so his wardrobe gets an upgrade. Also, he's told he's not allowed to attend the Chaldea Holiday Party in his normal Santa Getup. Da Vinci said something about how 'even Santas deserve a day off during the holidays', but she really just wanted him to not get Into It with Santa Quetz.

It fails.

Percival

Nice, tight fabric that fits snugly over his abs.

Food-themed to delight him as a provider of delicious meals and protection.

Really, just imagine that hunk of man-meat coming up to you with a plate of biscuits and gravy while wearing this. Wouldn't it be heaven?

Vlad (Berserker)

Would not wear something joke-themed or silly -- at least in his perception. This garment is obviously ridiculous, but he perceives it as proper holiday cheer and a work of art that he crafted himself.

Vlad (Lancer) would also wear ugly Christmas sweaters, but that's more dependent on the vibes of his Master, imo.

Blackbeard

He's been waiting all year to bust this baby out.

Like really, look at him. He's so happy and enriched.

Elizabeth Bathory

More like a sweater-dress than a Christmas sweater, but she'd wear it to the holiday party with a cute pair of tights, chunky shoes, and little candy and present decorations in her hair. Glitter would be everywhere.

Believes caroling is something like a 'mobile idol concert.'

Emiya

Someone in the extended Emiyaverse makes him wear it, and he puts up with it with a little grumbling. Particularly if it makes his Master and the kids happy.

Kijyo Koyo

She thinks she looks VERY hip and cool.

Koyanskaya

Dobrynya makes her wear it.

Himiko

Enjoys that the little balls bob and shine in the light when she sparkles. Keeps feeling the tinsel and laughing to herself.

Converts her Himiko, himiko, himi-himi-ko to the tune of jingle bells to amuse herself.

Fergus

Do I really even need to say anything here?

Gilles de Rais (Saber)

Okay I'm gonna be real, I woke up and this was on the document, so I was like, 'okay, I GUESS this is what Gilles rolls up to the Chaldea Holiday party wearing????'

Seriously. I don't even remember who to blame for this. Did I do it?

Jalter

Okay, I don't really actually see her wearing this, but it'd be REALLY funny if she did.

Honorable Mentions

Castoria

Wears ugly christmas sweaters every day but christmas because they're cheap and warm. does not know who jesus is.

David and Romani

Much to Romani's chagrin, it is apparently a family commonality to wear stupid Hannukah sweaters (which I am told exist at Target, even if I've never seen one in the wild.) Romani also acquires/makes one for Mash, which she is very happy about because it makes her feel like she fits in. :)

Martha

Has a custom red, white, and green Happy Birthday Sweater. She makes Tarasque wear one too. :)

Rin

Kirei buys her ugly christmas sweaters. rin does not wear them.

[slusheeduck]

Casual Banter Masterpost

aka my Fictober 2023 drabbles! I figure I might as well get them all in one place on Tumblr, since I have them in one AO3 fic. Using the titles and descriptions from AO3.

Featuring my named Tav (Falerin), Tav/Astarion, a lot of Gale, and most importantly INTERACTIONS BETWEEN THE COMPANIONS.

Day 1: Smart - Astarion asks for a magic lesson. Day 2: Prize - Karlach wins a prize at the circus. Day 3: Fireside - One last campfire chat before the Shadowlands. Day 4: Cooking Lesson - Lae'zel learns to cook. Day 5: Mask - Astarion tries on a mask for funsies. It goes badly. Day 6: Sick - Gale and Falerin chat about friendship and illnesses Day 7: Anchor - Astarion regrettably holds Halsin's hand. Day 8: Good Taste - Gale shares a treat, and a good time is had by all. Day 9: A Talk - Just a little chat, in regards to some campsite romance. Day 10: Drizzt Do'Urden - Wyll, Karlach, and Astarion find some common ground. Day 11: Temporary - The campsite romance hits a snag. Day 12: Mirror - Gale makes good on teaching Astarion magic. Day 13: Lost Wizard: If Found, Contact Tara - Tara despairs over the state of her runaway pet wizard. Day 14: Clowning Around - Falerin uses a disguise kit. Astarion wants a divorce. Day 15: Proper Horn Care - There's no possible way to write this summary without it looking horny. Day 16: A Token - Halsin carves a little gift for Astarion. Day 17: One Nice Thing - Karlach shows Shadowheart something nice, when she really needs it. Day 18: 90% Evil - Why WOULDN'T the rogue be the one to talk to the death cultist? Day 19: Seamstress - No one in camp but Astarion would have survived Home Ec. Day 20: The Selfless Choice - Or, How To Be A Confidant To Both Halves Of A Couple In The Face Of World-Ending Catastrophe, By Gale Dekarios Day 21: Taste Test - Falerin is...kind of a fucking weirdo. This is Gale's burden to bear. Day 22: Curl-based Despair - Astarion experiences #curlygirlproblems. Falerin helps. Day 23: Hunger - Someone gets a little hangry. Day 24: Pact, Pt. 1 - Astarion finds out about Fal's illness. Day 25: Pact, Pt. 2 - Astarion finds out about Fal's illness. Day 26: The Cuddliest Foe - Lae'zel does some research. Clive assists. Day 27: Homecoming - Two resident Baldurians discuss coming home. Day 28: Date - Astarion gets some new clothes. Day 29: A Healthy Dose of Theatrics - Are you really best friends if you've never been tempted to throttle each other? Day 30: Starfall -The newly formed party takes a moment to enjoy a magical sight. Day 31: Epilogue - A quiet moment after saving the world. Post-Fictober Drabbles:

Stars in His Eyes - Fal learns about naming ceremonies--and why Astarion has the name he does.

Slumber Party - Astarion and Gale have a fun night of kicking their feet, giggling, and discussing the all-consuming power they both intend on taking for themselves. Kidnapped - Astarion's siblings succeed in getting him back to the manor - but he's stronger now. Plus he has a very, very pissed-off partner. Rewriting The Story - After defeating Cazador and a tryst in the graveyard, it's time for some relationship reflection. Happy - Surely being the lover of an ascended vampire is the happiest ending one could hope for. (Ascended Astarion AU)

Wild Heart - A brief moment, the morning after the almost ascension, where two early risers have a chat.

Matters of Balance - Withers performs a resurrection. Breathe Deep, and Move - You can never really go home.

Side-Tracked - As they're embroiled in a murder mystery, Fal decides to take Astarion out for some enrichment.

Late Night Thoughts - Astarion has some thoughts on Falerin's lie from earlier in the day. (Bonus chapter for Side-Tracked)

New Tricks - Astarion discovers a new trick while trying to herd a cat.

Party Favors - The ultra-self-indulgent take on the ever popular tiefling party.

Meet-Cute - Every couple starts somewhere. And sometimes that's on the ground, with a knife.

Five Good Nights - Four good nights shared before the tiefling party, and one shared after.

~

Rewinding the Thread - CB adjacent 3-shot

A chance conversation in Baldur's Gate leads to an unlikely visitor to Falerin and Astarion's home a year after the Netherbrain's defeat. She pleads for just one thing: that Astarion pays a visit to his family - his true family, the one that's mourned him for two centuries.

In The Weeds - Astarion decides to take in the sights of Baldur's Gate during the day, and has a nice conversation with a local.

The Invitation - A surprise visitor leads to a bit of arguing, an invitation home, and quite possibly Faerûn's most awkward tea.

[bloomingdarkgarden]

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

🚀 Do you like to outline your fic first or create as you go?

💕 What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

🐇 Do you write for yourself, for others, or both?

🥳 Why did you start writing fanfic?

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

Nike! Let's goooo.

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

Wild wild take right here all in good fun that might get me murdered *hides in the bushes*:

that Mor is Azriel's mate and that's why she has a visceral physical reaction to everything he does in every book, and he has the same for her. I sometimes think it is the only way sjm is going to be able to explain his 500 year obsession reasonably. I would be thrilled with a double rejected bonds story between Az and Elain- it would make their choice to forge a life together so powerful. Even wilder headcanon: Lucien being the one to break the bond with Elain because he actually is the most reasonable person in Prythian.

*digs a hole and hides in it for eternity*

🚀 Do you outline your fic first or create as you go?

I roughly outline, but a LOT of elements get reworked as I write if they don't feel right.

💕 What is your favorite fic you have written?

The Darkgarden will always have my truest heart of hearts, but right now this goes to Upon A Midnight Clear. I'm really really proud of the rich worldbuilding I put into this story. My writing has vastly evolved/matured since I began the charade of fic-scribbling last April. And UAMC is, in many ways, my most grown up and well-written work. Making the whole winter court universe almost from scratch has a trip and giving a burning love story to Kallias and Viv- characters completely detached from the shipwars- has been sooo refreshing.

🐇 Do you write for yourself, for others, or both?

I write for others and specifically to give stories to characters that have been overlooked.

🥳 Why did you start writing fanfic?

Because as someone who is very introverted with an insanely observant and enriched view of the world I really wanted to explore Elain Archeron's inner monologue. She's the only reason I'm reading this series anymore, really.

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

y'ardy know- our creepy mystic rosekissed girl.

Elain cold AF Archeron of course.

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

Feyre does not come naturally for me. We've spent so many books in her head in first person narration that writing her in third person feels really awkward/strange for me.

[whitegoldtower]

Why do you see Ancano as gay

Why not?

As a bisexual man, I get the vibes. I get super strong gay man energy from him and I’m not entirely sure why. But I do. He sends my gaydar wild. Beepin’ off the charts.

Specifically? Closeted gay man. Repressed gay man.

Also the plot of my main headcanon revolves around his backstory and development (which the vanilla game robbed us of). It enriches his plot development for me, personally, and helps me fill in the gaps as to why he gets to the breaking point he does in the vanilla game, gives him a catalyst, and makes him a more sympathetic villain.

The world revolving around Ancano? I’m sure he’d approve lmao.

[mylifeinfiction]

The Angel of Indian Lake by Stephen Graham Jones

Scars proved you lived.

I admittedly have a pretty serious love/hate relationship with Jade Daniels. Her papers throughout My Heart Is a Chainsaw really tested my patience, and her immaturity throughout the events of that book seemed a bit too much. But the person she begins to grow into by the end of Chainsaw and throughout the events of the all-around masterpiece that is the middle book of this trilogy, Don't Fear the Reaper , is so interesting and complete that I couldn't help but fall in love with Jade Daniels and every blood-soaked thing for which she stands.

"...the cool thing about trilogies is you get to use every last part of the buffalo."

Stephen Graham Jones's The Angel of Indian Lake isn't quite the all-around horror masterpiece that Reaper is, but it is a wholly worthy final chapter in The Indian Lake Trilogy, or: The Savage History of Proofrock, Idaho. Throughout the trilogy, we've seen Jade Daniels go from immature, delusional slasher fantasist, to begrudgingly badass final girl, to hesitant horror historian. Best to call it the The Violent Coming-of-Age of a Reluctantly Willing Final Girl. It's an authentically compelling character arc that relishes the romance of the final girl without ever shying away from the traumatic weight of the role and the cyclical nature of violence throughout the history America.

She's right. In the rock/paper/scissors of horror, chainsaw always wins. Cops and guns don't work against slashers, trucks and fire are big fat fails, but a chainsaw? If you've got a chainsaw, you're pretty damn golden.

The Angel of Indian Lake ties the trilogy together so beautifully, so viciously, that even its flaws are fascinating. SGJ makes the risky decision to close out Jade's story by throwing us headfirst into her mind, writing Angel in an (often stream-of-conscious) first-person narrative. Jade's mind is a chaotic, damaged landscape that can often create pacing issues due to her unfocused, rambling narration, but it also gives us a deeper look into the root of these horrific events, bringing the many disjointed storylines together in a brutally bloody, emotionally exhausting and thematically cathartic manner.

And the plotting itself is even more risky, bringing together every last piece of this epic horror saga in a batshit crazy onslaught of slaughter. But thankfully, SGJ's vision is complete, and he conducts these exceedingly insane displays of slasher carnage in a way that only ever enriches the overarching themes; and more than makes up for the lulls between. The climactic massacre is so dam wild, and I loved every bizarre, messy minute of it. Jade and those she loves are seriously put through the wringer, here, but it all comes together for such a fitting, bittersweet ending that brings Jade to exactly where she needs to be.

Despite those pacing issues and some moments of feeling completely lost among all those players and plot-points, SGJ sticks the landing, delivering a third installment that does indeed "mash that pedal to the floor until it gets stuck", and thankfully never loses traction.

It's supposed to mean Proofrock's slasher days are over.

8/10

-Timothy Patrick Boyer.

[naughtynanzhu]

new copypasta just dropped

guy was mad that another guy posted a video of him setting up a romantic date night at home for his wife, saying women never do anything for men except give bjs and MAYBE stay loyal and it was very long winded and wild:

image text:

"Why don't girls/females/woman do nice things for men?? "oh such a beautiful date thanks babe, I ensure I won't cheat on you for a little while and will stay loyal, until the next time you do this, unless you take too long, oh and and here's a bj... because that's all i've ever bring to the table.." Why don't woman set up nice things for men??? Do they not like men and prefer men suffer while they enjoy the luxurious of all the things men provide..... Like what do woman do to court or cater to their husbands needs??? This is what's complete BS about the dynamics of society and it really halves the enrichment of the civilization... Because Woman just want a free ride always and give nothing back but a "bj" Imaooo That's the most love a woman can show to a man???? And being loyal... (which is day one fundamental behavior for a relationship) Really???? I don't get it... Seriously what do woman do above and beyond like this?? I know a woman can't name nearly one example.... And just say some incomplete nonsense like "you have issues " hahaha. That's woman projecting their issues that they don't do anything for men. Sad world to live in. because they think their existence is good enough.. how about a man's existence is good enough? Because men run and protect the entire world. Woman need to be doing these things for men. Actually. I'm a warrior at heart and am willing to go the greatest lengths. The woman need to be catering to the men. I'm as manly as it gets and i'll challenge that against any man.. Making woman much less powerful, but we are inherently equal by existence. So actually the woman need to be courting the man.. The man holds a much more important role. This is called Simping for entitled girls who believe they deserve this. While they're probably cheating and being disloyal. Woman really are the devil."

he was then asked what he does for the world and had the most amazing reply:

image text:

"If you only knew little man. My father was airlifted to the hospital on the job, he was paid less his entire life. My mother was the breadwinner. He also stepped in front a man with a gun to save our families life. My mom worked inside the A/C her entire career. Her brother fell off a 2 story roof from heat exhaustion working construction his entire life and died on the job a few years ago. My grandfather has a purple heart. I protect this entire world in ways no one walking this Earth knows. I also have multiple documented rescues in Ocean Rescue where civilians would had died without my attendance. I have double rescues, meaning two adults at once, and other rescues on multiple occasions. I've had 12 street fight KO's protecting my family and friends all in self defense. All bigger than me. My friends call me the Giant Slayer. There's no woman on the planet that could endure the circumstances i've been in. I grew up surfing, in athletics, trained in the harshest environments during hurricanes with Navy Seals. I won National Championships in College Water polo in California. You can't be a stronger swimmer than a water polo player, not even a navy seal, because they don't practice water combat and wresting for 7 years. Only a summer at BUDS. WP is an olympic contact sport, with cuts and stitches every game. I've knocked ppl unconscious in the water in self defense during games. I carry lethal. capabilities with my bare hands and am willing to execute those actions to protect people I love from evil. I grew up with world champion fighters CFFC and in the UFC, my uncle was also a golden glove boxer in FL. Strangers have personally thanked me for protecting them, saving their child's life. These occasions could have been you or one your family members. It's all relative, you wouldn't wonder who I am then. I also fight the good fight for civilians. Against the biggest cooperations and banks in the world. Recovering millions of dollars in settlements for disadvantaged policyholders in neglected claims. Working along the top forensic engineers, attorneys, the biggest contractors, and private judges in my state."

amazing. fucking g*d tier.

[thefreelanceangel]

🖊 do a couple, so help me

C'kyho Nunh established a tradition for his tribe called 'a finishing tour' that involves sending the 'now of age' miqo'te out to travel through the main three city-states. He undertook this 'tour' himself as a very young man and met C'allie's mother, his first mate C'anmho, in Gridania.

The 'finishing tour' is considered something of a final coming of age for the young Kyhos as they're provided a small allowance to fund their trip, but must either rely on scattered relatives or their own wits if they overspend that allowance. It's also considered a first chance to meet a mate--one does need outside blood, after all--or to make a final decision on a profession. Quite a few young Kyhos initially settle away from the tribal territory, sowing their 'wild oats' away from the watchful eyes of the tribal elders.

And the majority of them inevitably drift back home, bringing new skills, ideas, technologies, and even mates back to enrich the tribe's culture.

Chance Brooks doesn't know what life is like outside of academia. Her parents, natives of Old Sharlayan, both worked in the Studium as instructors from long before her birth. (She is, in fact, something of a 'change of life' baby, surprising the hells out of her adventurous archeologist mother by being born on a dig near the ruins of Sil'dih.) And Chance grew up being babysat by grad students, running through the massive library under the watchful eye of a mammet or two, accompanying her parents on lecture tours and developing quite the taste for knowledge early on.

She disappointed both parents by opting for studies in botany and agriculture--her father is a professor of applied mathematics--rather than the fields they'd already established the Brooks name within. Chance not only wanted to establish herself under her own abilities, but also just... loves digging around in the dirt.

It turned out to be an especially significant field when she became a graduate student and learned of the Forum's collaboration with their "colleagues on the moon." Suddenly, Chance's field of study--specializing in altering acidity levels and nutrient content of soil to improve crop growth--had entirely new levels of importance.

She's not unhappy that the "Plan" isn't needed--who would be unhappy that the world isn't ending???--but... Well, she did get several grants when the situation was edging towards dire... And she did get an office all her own when some of her experiments in soil manipulation proved useful.

It does kind of suck that now she's relegated to testing soil samples from Garlemald to look for hearty bacteria in extreme temperatures.