#if brevity is the soul of wit… well ;-;

[fat-fem-and-asian]

a tiny little morsel of tgirl karolina to get me thru the day. just a little nibble

[abysskeeper]

Me then: Ah, this'll be like a quick...2k fill for the idea and I can expand on it later

Me now, just shy of 5k and still going: So I have underestimated myself once again...

[neil-gaiman]

Hi Neil,

I hope this doesn't get buried in the ask box, but if it does, I'll still be glad I sent this, just to know this little lengthy slice of complement and thanks existed in your inbox is enough. I apologize for the length, I am pretty sure the grammar is in tatters...and probably just the general awkwardness in advance.

Frist of all, congratulations for Good Omens Season2, it's a roaring success even here in this...I don't know, bottomless pit? I myself and some others fondly call it the PRC. The show didn't made pass the firewall officially, neither was Prime Video. People still managed to watch it eventually by VPNs, shared accounts and when times are desperate...sorry, piracy. Chinese fans, including myself, using every tool in the shed to try to fool Amazon™ and our goverment, just to watch this on Prime and try to help to manifest S3, is one hell of an experience. This kind of experience is pathetic, ridiculous....and somehow hilarious in a dark, gallows humor way, almost like some bad spy comedy, I just have to share it. Worth all the trouble by the way, the reward at the end of the back channel is...well, some divine comedy to say the very least. All in all, it's a brilliant show and a solid job well-done.

Then some of my personal gratitude. They say good art resonates with your soul, I now know this is just as true as matter and gravity. Since I know Good Omens certainly resonated with mine. I'll redact the typical "depression and anxiety reduced me to a husk, a shadow of my former self" story and get to the result for brevity's sake. I can't write anything meaningful while I know I took joy in writing, I can't finish reading anything longer than a brochure while I know I was such a bookworm in the past. Then I was compelled to get up in the middle of the night, wrote a full 5000 character long analysis after marathoned S2, and then write even more analyses in both Chinese and English. I picked up American Gods because I know I need more Neil Gaiman in my life and then impressed by myself for actually finishes it the second time 5 years later. I didn't know how exactly that happened through one watch of a TV show, but I know I am changed for the better. I grasped life again, and can start living again, somehow. The resonation just keeps on giving.

This is a quiet, gentle and romantic story, it is soothing, accepting, filled to the brim with love and kindness, and it makes me feel safe and accepted and loved in a way I never felt before. I thank you for it, and hope thart I may have the privlige to witness more of this miracle. Thank you Neil, Sir Terry Pratchett and the team for this miraculous book and this miraculous show.

谢谢。(I just had to say thanks with my mother tongue, it feels more earnest this way)

Thank you so much! I'm impressed by everything you and your countryfolk have gone through to watch it as legitimately as you could.

[copper-16]

Chapter 8 has been posted - but before everyone goes to read, a little bit of an announcement on my end:

This is going to be my last longer Mapi/Ingrid story, and probably the end of me being super active/posting on ao3 and tumblr. I might write the occasional story here and there, but writing is not bringing me the same joy it once was and I want to dedicate my time to other things. I’ll still be around reading on ao3 and somewhat on Tumblr, but I just won’t be posting a whole ton on either. I’ve been so incredibly lucky to get to know all of you guys on here, and to receive so much love for my work. It means the absolute world to me - and thank you all so much for welcoming me into this little community so wonderfully! I hope the stories I wrote were able to bring just a little bit of happiness when you guys needed it (even if I constantly left everyone on cliffhangers - I truly am sorry about that).

The rest of this is long, and you don't have to read it if you don't want to, you can just go ahead to the story now if you would like. I'm not known for my ability to keep concise, that is for certain. If brevity is the soul of wit - perhaps we know why my stories aren't very funny!

I’ve especially enjoyed joining tumblr and really finding a little community here. Getting to interact with so many people, both those who read my works and those who don’t, has been such a joy for me. I love getting to hear when people like the things I've written, even if it touches them in a small way. I love getting to interact with so many brilliant minds and am forever in awe of how much amazing talent there is in this little corner of the internet! I've made some incredible friends from getting to be on here, and it makes me so happy to have a little community of people I love. Thank you guys for letting me have space here even if I don’t write reader works or know how this app works most of the time.

I started writing seriously in September 2022 and I can't tell you how much joy it has brought me in the last two years. As someone who doesn't enjoy the college degree they are currently getting, this was such a fun creative outlet for me. It was so cool to have this blank canvas to work with, to weave things together, especially as I began to write longer stories. Writing was a place to destress for me and interact with other people who loved football as I was coming to love it. Every single kudos, comment, and bookmark meant so much to me. Even when it was something silly like someone dubbing the 'Copper Monologue,' it made me feel so seen. Someone cared enough to read enough of my works to pick out the fact that I do that? Absolutely mind blowing to me. It's crazy to hear that people cared about the silly little stories I wrote. When someone told me that I was one of the things to help inspire them to write their own stuff - I think I properly sobbed. It meant more to me than anything has in this entire world, and it still does! Writing has helped me to process, it's helped me to grow, it's helped me learn to identify my emotions and struggles and think through my own thought processes. I hope that maybe for someone out there, it could help them do that as well. It's a little strange for me not to want to do that anymore. Writing this last story solidified to me that for the most part it was time to be done, and HDITA was more of a goodbye than anything else. But even with that, it feels strange not to be thinking of my next idea, thinking of how I am going to create characters and relationships and plot lines.

I think for me right now, I'm just excited to be myself. Maybe this vessel of writing was what I needed to get myself through the last two years. I wrote la princesa when I was at my absolute worst in life, and as I've grown and matured as a person, I like to think that my writing has. I no longer find myself in a place where it fills a huge void in my own life that I once needed.

I've grown a lot as a writer these few years (those who read my earlier works will understand), and I'm excited to one day come back to it, maybe in a different sphere. I love the idea now of writing a real book. It always terrified me before - I didn't know where I would start or if I would be horrible at it. But you all have given me the confidence that maybe at least one person would like it, and maybe that's enough of a reason to try. So thank you all for holding my hand and encouraging me. I hope that if nothing else, everyone remembers that a little bit of kindness on here or ao3 or anywhere on the internet costs nothing, and yet can go a long way.

It did for me.

But enough of my sappy rambling, please enjoy this last chapter of mine. I hope it brings you as much joy as it brought me when I was writing it. Love you all so so much!

Chapter 8 of How Do I Trust Again?

[harmonysanreads]

Do you have any yandere blogs to recommend?

Oho, you just gave me an excuse to fangirl >:) I took my time with this ehe

Note : You might already know some of these blogs if you've been in the yandere genshin community for some time but here we go! Please read their dni/byf/rules before you decide to follow or interact with them, too.

@ddarker-dreams [Yandere multi-fandom]

If it wasn't for Miss Lock's writings I probably would still misunderstand the yandere genre lol, she just makes it AN ART. You can tell how much effort she puts into her work, too! She makes me want to both be an obedient housewife towards the characters and to strangle them ;—; Her Deep Sea is such a masterpiece—I've literally never seen THIS much cultural accuracy in any fanfic and it inspired me to do my own research, too!

@yandere-romanticaa [Yandere multi-fandom]

The face of Yandere Tumblr tbh. Her works always make me end up hanging by the brainrot cliff for days and even WEEKS lmao and I respect her so so so much for helping smaller blogs <333

@bye-bye-sunbird [Yandere Genshin Impact]

The legend, the pioneer of The Capitano Agenda™️!! I personally really love her Spoil of War series — somehow, she makes me think twice about characters I wouldn't have otherwise given much thought towards. (*cough* osial *cough*)

@glimmeringtwilight [Yandere Genshin Impact]

There's just— I can't quite explain it but their writing is just so beautiful??? They can take some of the simplest stuff and execute in such a demure manner o.o

@shumidehiro [Yandere multi-fandom]

I'm a big fan of her Yan!Pantalone works, the way she writes him is so charming<3

@chococolte [Yandere Genshin Impact, sagau]

Her Yan!Al haitham works are something else honestly, easily intensifies my alhaitham brainrot.

@jessamine-rose [Yandere multi-fandom]

Complexity through simplicity, she'll easily charm you with her writing. She loves tender but twisted endings and executes them wonderfully through her works. Her Harbinger fics are absolutely phenomenal. I have immense respect for not only her magical prose, but also the fact that she can write so much about characters with little to no screentime xD

@yestrday [Yandere multi-fandom]

10/10 AUs! Very easy to follow but delectable nonetheless<3

@amarias-yandere-genshin [Yandere Genshin Impact]

They've been offline for some time now, I believe, but I still recommend checking them out! They've got some really good content

@moyazaika [Yandere Original]

They create some of the most jaw-dropping, heart-stealing Yandere ocs and their prose can easily keep you hooked. My personal favorite is their Yandere!King OC. I must say, Genie writes fear really well <3

@teabutmakeitazure [Yandere multi-fandom]

If I had to recommend one writer who could transform someone into a Childe simp, it'd be her. She comes up with the most creative and delicious brainrots that keep me up at night <3 I particularly admire the way she weaves dialogues :> Her Magenta Die, Cyan Bullet series for Yan!Aventurine is a masterpiece!

@wishluc [Yandere multi-fandom]

I find the reflection of ‘brevity is the soul of wit’ in their writing — how they express so much in such short drabbles is beyond me. Her Yandere!Lilia works are my favorite :>

@throwaway-yandere [Yandere multi-fandom]

Reading Ansy's works is like watching a cool science experiment unfold (I'm not joking). From absolutely show-stopping fics to a literal game — they can do it all. I feel incredibly fortunate to be able to read their works for free <3

@vivalabunbun [Yandere Genshin Impact]

Their works are literal adventures, there isn't a single fic by them that I haven't liked. If I had to recommend one writer that can make you fall in love with Alhaitham, it'd be them! Their writing style is straightforward and easy to follow but it manages to touch the heart in such a way that there is a good chance you'll never forget what you've read. I have nothing but praises for them <3

@yandere-wishes [Yandere multi-fandom]

Incredibly magical writing style and a very creative person! Her Do Not Weep Hydro Dragon and Analysis On The Damsel In Distress Trope are my favorite works!

@penguinlop [Yandere Genshin Impact]

Absolutely scrumptious writing, the themes and motifs that are intertwined in her works will leave a lasting impression on you as well. My personal favorite fic by them is Ignorance Is Bliss !

@mayullla [Yandere multi-fandom, original]

She has an amazing glossary of works for both different fandoms and Yandere Ocs! Writing style is flowy and you can tell she's always experimenting with something new <3

@brynn-lear [Yandere multi-fandom]

Their works will never bore you, I guarantee it. Aside from their absolutely delectable writing style, they also do illustrations! Their Who Drank It? game is a must-try. I feel like one of these days, I'll see them on the app store lol

@dottiro [Yandere Genshin Impact]

Her Hide & Seek is such a unique work! She took such an interesting concept, successfully integrated it with Yandere!Dottore and turned it into something so hauntingly alluring. I've never read something like this before.

@stickyspeckledlight [Yandere multi-fandom]

Now this one will scratch the brain in a certain way and leave imprints for a long time. Her Destroyed Onset series for Yandere!Aventurine is a jaw-dropping piece. It'll confuse you, amuse you, bewilder you and you'll like it.

@ataraxiaspainting [Yandere multi-fandom]

Aya's Icarus and The Chauffeur fics are my absolute favorites! The writing is extremely catchy, keeps your attention hooked and you can really feel the writer's control of everything through the word-play. In Icarus she takes the classic bird-captor analogy and spins into something remarkable and in The Chauffeur she paints the dire circumstances of reader so splendidly!

There are many other talented blogs out there, of course. These are just the ones I'm most familiar with :>

Last Updated : September 3, 2024

[rwby-confess]

this is more a context post on the earlier one with oscar and ruby ship, its just that i feel that one is much better as a meme, brevity is the soul of wit and all that (feel free to do with this one what you will) ruby and oscar is mondo cute and those 2 dorks would work well together, theres plenty of fluff to be had and it would serve as perfect fodder for that delicious angst we all love(lets not lie to ourselves angst is our bread and butter) imagine oscar hearing that ruby likes milk and cookies, so he tries to give her a fresh pitcher every time he can. imagine those two having a fun sunny filled day at the farm, oscar tokyo drifting a tractor on a bet that he can still plant more seeds than ruby can with her semblance. Ruby teaching him how to not be dogged by cresent roses recoil. Just hanging out with zwei and being amazed by this miracle corgi who killed like 5 grimm after being told to guard the corn. Ruby and Oscar under the the light of the fireflies, discussing how they feel about the weigh of the world they share and also losing all of that. Oscar growing distant, worried, forgetfull of the moments hes had, those moments not gone but diluted, washing away under the weight of reincarnations posed by the gods. where he understand that he loves but that love is burdened with the loss of a hundred, hundred loves. and he is just a boy. He mourns the life he cannot live, never even understanding what kind of life he would have wanted because he never got around to figure it out. Ruby and Oscar desperately clinging on to what they have, but its like trying to hold sand in the tide. And eventually... it just breaks. In the end, theres just not enough of him to love, they both know this.

Man

[magpod-confessions]

I have significant grievances with the way The Magnus Protocol has been going. Before I get into that, I want to say that I love the new setting, recording medium with the computers, and the lore that’s been built up thus far. Now I am frankly disappointed by the quality of the dialogue outside of the statements, as it feels very unnatural (even for a fiction podcast) and poorly structured. Additionally the statements feel too short and often lack the compelling detail that TMA statements provided. Brevity, in this case, is not the soul of wit. My issues with the main characters themselves are written below.

Sam: too contradictory between naively curious and just plain scatterbrained. Also I see the intention of trying to make him kind/generous to a fault but it just comes across as sort of limited personality-wise. Making him boring might be the intention, though, who knows. (Dishonourable mention to Sam’s moment of vicious and inconsiderate mockery towards Gwen in ep 18).

Celia: also comes across as rather empty-headed. It’s obvious that she’s meant to be characterized as this resolute single mom who’s doing so well surviving the horrors. However 9 times out of 10, she appears profoundly useless and passive. Once again I cannot tell if this is intentional.

Alice: it is, in this case, very clear that Alice uses aggravating and antagonizing humour to prevent her insecurities from being known. This is interesting! However, Alice only embodies that point in the shallowest sense, with everything else about her being incensing, glib, and occasionally outright and intentionally cruel.

Lena: I don’t have many issues with lena. She appears to be a simple character on the surface level but the times we see her tease at something deeper. She ends up being genuinely compelling, rather than feeling like her characterization is trying to be interesting.

Gwen: as is with Lena, I don’t have many character issues with Gwen. We’ve been hinted at her backstory not only through her last name, but through many instances in the podcast. (Yes I know we’ve had ample hints towards other characters backstories as well). She’s got a vague and interesting motive for doing what she does, despite her lack of agency in a situation that she exercised her agency to put herself in.

That’s my two cents for now.

.

[double-0h-no]

Full Disclosure

This is my prompt fill for "kept secret" from the whump table, and 777 from the word count table, my personal nemesis this week.

Boy this was a bother. I don't know how the rest does it, landing on an exact word count, especially one below 1k. If brevity truly is the soul of wit, there's bad news for me. Huge thanks to @l219tj for supporting me so much, I don't think this would have gotten anywhere if you hadn't let me rant at you for lines on end. I hope you enjoy some domestic angst and finally some 00Q from my side.

CW this time around for vague discussions of medical issues, just to be on the safe side.

on ao3

A letter Q couldn't wait to open until he really was alone with no chance of James coming in starts a conversation Q would have wanted to avoid altogether.

"And you didn't think it prudent to tell me?"

Q didn't dare to meet James' eyes, so instead his gaze rested on the opened letter on their dining table.

"Do you know what I'd been telling myself these last weeks?", James went on. "I was so convinced you were either cheating on me, or selling off some blueprints, or following a lead on your own because M had told you to drop it, and a hundred more things, and at the same time I knew you wouldn't.

"Because I bloody know you, and you've never... You wouldn't do that to me."

And now he had, and there was no taking it back. Q knew he should have handled it better, knew that it was the one thing not to do with James. Keeping secrets. He swallowed harshly, but set his jaw.

"Did you really think you'd get away with it? Not telling me?"

And that rubbed Q the wrong way. "Get away with - James, I wasn't trying to - Of course I would have told you! If there was something to tell. But according to this letter," he grabbed it and held it up, "there isn't."

"Q, this is a gene test. I happen to know that this is one of the last resorts any doctor takes. They will take three MRIs before they do that. So for how long has this been going on?"

"Going - You make it sound like did have an affair!"

"Well, you do have an ex in Medical," James said dryly, and Q slammed the letter back down on the table.

"Are you serious right now?! I've been to - I don't even know any more how many appointments, and how many different specialists, and you seriously wanna call names now?!"

"And how am I supposed to know that?!" James matched his volume. "How am I supposed to know to how many specialists you've been?! I don't even know why you had a need to see them!"

"Well, good thing those tests came back negative, then, because it really can't be all that serious!"

James threw his hands in the air and started pacing. "Yes, just spiffing, because what I'm so concerned about right now is what the doctors say, or that you haven't told me!"

"What is your problem, then?!" A sudden movement followed by a loud clonk made Q realize that this time, he had shouted - and spooked Velma, who'd dashed to the safety of the cat tree. He took a deep breath to steady his nerves. Truth be told, he was beyond relieved that the test had come back negative, and all he wanted to do was cry with relief and ride out the endorphins, but now he was here, stuck in a fight with James because - well, because he'd fucked up.

"I'm sorry, James, I..." He took another deep breath. "When this first started, you were on a mission, and by the time you'd returned, Medical had jumped the first scare on me, and I... I both didn't want it to be true, and I didn't want you to worry for nothing. And it looks like it truly is nothing." When James didn't answer for several seconds, Q looked back up at him, but couldn't read the expression at all.

"I don't care about that right now, I -" James interrupted himself again and stared at him in utter disbelief. "How hard is it for you to believe that I might be worried about you?"

"Worried? James, those results are negative, there's no-"

"Is it gone?", James cut him off. "Whatever made you go to Medical in the first place. All those tests came back negative and we know that all that means is that Medical hasn't found a cause, not that you are alright. Because unless you are, yes, I am bloody worried."

Of course he wasn't. The test result had felt like a victory, as if this declared him healthy and all evil would fall away. But James was right. This only meant he still didn't know the cause.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Both for not telling you, and for snapping."

To his surprise, James snorted. "How often have I tried to hide an injury from you? I'm rather sure it was Bates who told you about the knee surgery. I'm still angry about this, but darling, it's... not the number one priority here. So. Do you want to tell me what's been going on?"

Q sighed, pushed his glasses up to rub his eyes and gestured vaguely at the sofa. "Alright. Let's sit down, I'll fetch some tea, and I'll tell you the whole story from the start."

[bunny584]

Hi Bun! When will we see The Chaplain again NO RUSH! Just askin!!!

Hello little love 🤍 i know you miss him, he misses you too. And questions like these are well intended. But a gentle reminder that I am a human, first with a hobby that I love and do for free (writing silly stories), and another hobby that I love, and get paid to do (being a plastic surgeon). Unfortunately, the latter hobby takes up so much brain space that it’s difficult to find concerted effort/time/energy to spend the 4-5 hours that it takes per scene in For I Have Sinned.

I’m not an author that will publish half assed work, or something I find subpar. And FIHS is the most elegant piece of work I’ve created thus far, and it requires SO MUCH creative bandwidth for the first pass. Then, because I’m viscerally opposed to publishing > 10K words per chapter (brevity, soul wit, etc etc). It’s a skill to convey what you need to say without filler. Tack on another 4-5 hours per scene to edit.

I’ve just now started feeling like myself again. And maybe I’m being sensitive, but even well meaning questions like this feel pressured. I’m too skiddish for now to withstand it. In my head, it means you see me as a content producer, rather than a human being, yes?

I hope you understand baby, I won’t post formal rules or anything of the sort. I’m assuming everyone is on their best behavior. Pero, if you cuties could refrain from asking when I’ll update things I’d love you x2 million (already at 1,999,999).

If you want to be tagged in the next part, just comment / message/ ask!! I’m more than happy to tag you the second it’s published. Hopefully that alleviates some of the angst that might come with just checking my blog often.

[satohqbanana]

How to Write Consistently

Or more specifically, what has allowed Satoh to progress far into her story despite having always struggled to write multi-chapter works? Please be advised that these things worked FOR ME, SatohQBanana. If you find that these tips aren't helpful for you, feel free to ignore it.

Also this is very long.

TIP NUMBER ONE: Brevity is the soul of wit, and this meeting could've been an email. It's OK to skip scenes - not the type of skipping where you put [insert action scene] here, but the kind where you can instead summarize what occurs. If you're going to build up a character to prepare for a fight, make it obvious that they'll win, and make them win the fight, then you can skip describing what happened in the fight.

TIP NUMBER TWO: Skipping scenes for the drafting stage? That's the devil speaking! You'll end up with a far worse issue of having to make the disjointed parts fit together like a puzzle. The past you is a different person from the current you - and you probably just need to rest your eyes and your mind for a bit, to figure out how to untangle that difficult scene.

TIP NUMBER THREE: Be prepared to kill your darlings. This is especially true if you are skipping to writing the scenes you just wanted to see play out. Doing them immediately is OK as a writing practice, but be warned that future you will find a way to ruin past you's work. Don't leave problems for the future you, who will have fallen in love with current you's work and might have to face the inevitable part of the editing process that is scrapping entire ideas.

TIP NUMBER FOUR: But if you close your eyes, you'll be able to move on. Not seeing much of what you've written can help you focus on what has not been written. Tricks such as changing font styles and font colors, saving your work chapter by chapter, and even taking photos of your work on the screen to prevent yourself from editing them are helpful. If you repeat writing the same part, that's fine. You can always edit something that exists, but you can't do anything with something that does not exist except think about it all day long!

TIP NUMBER FIVE: Rotate tasks like farmers rotate crops. It is scientifically proven that having a variety of activities in one's life leads to a healthier life. And by tasks, I don't mean WIPs. Do something nice IRL: visit a museum, go to the amusement park, study a new thing, and so on. Not only does this allow you to take a break from your creative projects, but this also helps you learn more about the world, widen your view, and increase your knowledge and wisdom that you are drawing from to write your stories.

TIP NUMBER SIX: Don't forget to lay the field fallow and take a break. It is also scientifically proven that rest reenergizes you between tasks, allowing you to do the next task very efficiently. By rest, I mean actual real rest, the kind where you sit or lie down, maybe doing some ruminating, but way away from any of your devices. You can even do activities that destress you - such as cleaning, or treating yourself to a nice meal, or reading a book. Sure, it isn't writing, but it is taking care of yourself as a writer, to make sure you don't overwork yourself into a corner and curse yourself into weeks or months of writer's block.

TIP NUMBER SEVEN: Change your mindset and establish a philosophy that will allow you to work with yourself, move around your flaws, and achieve your goals. If your current workflow isn't allowing you to write well, you gotta acknowledge that and move on to a different strategy. Be open to the notion of being wrong and be open to new ideas that will challenge your current beliefs - in fact, those might help you untangle your ideas as well!

TIP NUMBER EIGHT: Hold yourself accountable. If you must use pomodoro timers or write-by-word-count apps, do it! If you must schedule your writing sessions because you have a condition or circumstance that demands it, do it! If you must have someone waiting on you so you can get motivated to have that draft done by the end of this month, do it! Be responsible - you are the author of your work, and no one else is going to write it for you.

TIP NUMBER NINE: Do it, and do it scared! JUST DO IT! If you're having doubts, you must remember: new and uncertain things are scary, but you won't know about them for real if you keep pulling yourself away from them. Growing and accumulating rich experience takes a bit of courage and doing a lot of things you don't know is right or wrong for you. But what's important is that you try, and you do. (And you have to try to finish what you set out to do, so you can have a better idea of whether the new thing is good for you or not!)

TIP NUMBER TEN: Connect with your story truly, madly, deeply. I would advise against trying to write a big idea just because it's got really nice vibes. I need you to feel your story in your soul, and have its core themes resonate with your beliefs. Just as you are your first critic, you are also your first fan. Not only will this help you love your story even as you shape it into something else, but this will help you keep in mind its essence, even as you develop it. If multiple artists can make changes to a character's design and have others recognize the character anyway, then so can you with your story!

[watfordgrimoire]

Summer of Shakespeare

To be or not to be -- acts as a coin flip; caster's object with either glow bright white or become shrouded in shadows

Two may keep counsel, putting one away -- prevents whom it is cast on from being able to speak of a secret (forbidden spell)

Let slip the dogs of war -- draws in nearby canines

What light through yonder window breaks -- creates sunlight through the window it is cast on

If you prick us, do we not bleed -- creates a pinprick wound

To sleep, perchance to Dream -- sleeping spell (has a chance to cause the sleeper to have vivid, lucid dreams)

Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown -- creates a heavy, golden crown

Get thee to a nunnery -- creates a route to the nearest convent

Take arms against a sea of troubles -- pulls in nearby weapons (only works if near a body of salt water)

In nature there's no blemish but the mind -- removes acne

If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well / It were done quickly -- speeds up electronic appliances (causes the appliances to shut down if cast incorrectly)

A man can die but once -- used by superstitious mages to ward off vampire attacks

The good is oft interred with their bones -- buries objects it is cast on (can also be used as a finding spell when cast with the correct intentions)

It's Greek to me -- translates text to Greek

My kingdom for a horse -- summons nearby equine

Neither a borrow nor a lender be -- if someone owes you money, takes any cash/coins they have on them when cast

Nothing will come of nothing -- cleaning spell

Brevity is the soul of wit -- silencing spell (only allows for a few words while the spell is active)

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day -- heats someone up to the average summer temperature of the area

You have witchcraft in your lips -- enhances the next spell cast

Friends, Romans, Countrymen -- amplifies the caster's voice

Lord, what fools these mortals be -- stunning spell

The course of true love never did run smooth -- rumoured at Watford to cause a couple to break up if cast on them

Now is the winter of our discontent -- snow creation spell (only works when the caster is unhappy)

All the world's a stage -- creates a temporary, basic stage to use for performances

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and other have greatness thrust upon them -- superstitious mages cast this on newborn children in order to increase their depth of magick

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind -- temporary blinding spell (only works if the person it is cast on is in love)

Conscience does make cowards of us all -- scares away nearby creatures

To suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune -- an arrow creation spell

Frailty, thy name is woman -- weakening spell

It is not enough to speak, but to speak true -- forces whomever it is cast on to tell a truth

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me -- causes nearby dogs to bark

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy -- finding spell

The lady doth protest too much -- reveals if someone is lying

The whips and scorns of time -- attacking spell

I am a man more sinned against than sinning -- shielding spell

Good wine is a good familiar creature -- wine creation spell (difficult spell)

We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep -- when cast on someone who is sleeping, has the chance to allow them to bring small objects out of their dreams (difficult spell)

O wretched state! o bosom black as death! -- dyes objects black

Muddy death -- creates a mud puddle

Lay aside life-harming heaviness / And entertain a cheerful disposition -- cheering up spell

And, most dear actors, eat no onions or garlic, for we are to utter sweet breath -- cures bad breath

If after every tempest come such calms, / May the winds blow till they have wakened death -- creates a wind storm

None can be called deformed but the unkind -- reveals if someone has betrayed you, causing them to be covered in boils

Deny thy father and refuse thy name -- name changing spell (can apply to first, middle, and/or last name depending on the emphasis of the words)

The evil that men do lives after them -- creates weapons out of human bones (forbidden spell)

To thine own self be true -- temporary self-confidence increasing spell

Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once -- used in battle to try and scare the opposition into retreat (difficult spell)

Blest be the man that spares these stones, And curst be he that moves my bones -- cast on graves to prevent graverobbing

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and gets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more -- silencing spell (forbidden spell)

And through this distemperature we see / The seasons alter: hoary-headed frosts / Fall in the fresh lap of the crimson rose -- creates a layer of frost

It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing -- causes whomever it is cast on to babble uncontrollably

For there was never yet philosopher / That could endure the toothache patiently -- eases toothache pain

God has given you one face, and you make yourselves another -- temporary disguise spell

Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind -- reveals if a suspect is guilty (not always reliable as it can be tampered with)

Our peace shall stand as firm as rocky mountains -- stabilizes piles of soil or rock

Fortune brings in some boats that are not steer'd -- helps boats steer safely into harbor

The empty vessel makes the loudest sound -- drains glasses of liquids (also creates a loud sound)

Though she be but little, she is fierce -- shrinking spell

My tongue will tell the anger of my heart, or else my heart concealing it will break -- undoes silencing spells

[shebeafancyflapjack]

Arthur: This is gonna be a tough fight. Should we bring Sean along?

Dutch: Best not. I know the kid means well but in a tough situation he turns into one of my mother's porcelain figurines.

John: I have no idea what that means.

Arthur: He's a fragile little bitch.

John: Oh.

Dutch: Brevity is nice but sometimes clarity is the true soul of wit, thank you Arthur.

[redlettermediathings]

A wise man once said, “Brevity is the soul of wit.” Well, if that’s the case, judging by the length of this video these are four of the most witless clown-fools on the internet today. Mike, Jay, Jack and Rich Evans are perhaps the dumbest humans that have ever krebbed in my shorts. Hi I’m retired underground illegal casino pit boss Krebs Gorlon, and today I write to you from my home in war-torn Haiti to tell you about this newest episode of Best of the Worst. I'm farting as I type this due to the bacteria ravaging my colon, but I will try to make sense. Boy, it sure has been a long time since we’ve seen the boys watch three feature films, eh? But alas, today they are spinning the Wheel of the Worst™ again... There’s something about old, undiscovered tapes that makes my taint tingle with the titillating excitement of that first time I killed a man. Rich and Jack display a palpable level of non-excitement at this prospect in our video’s opening. Trust me, I get it. Sometimes these tapes can be a nightmare. Sometimes they can be a lot of fun though. It’s about as exciting as being forced to play a game of Russian Roulette with your precious time and sanity. Mike (the ugly fat one) appears to be the most unhinged of them all in this episode. You see Jay (the hippie clown) had haplessly purchased a case of “Hazy IPAs”. Silly little man that he is, he purchased solely on the style of the packaging. A lovely hazy as it is though. Voodoo Ranger’s Tropical Force. A product made by New Belgium brewing. Note: They are a NON-Sponsor. In fact, we’ll probably get sued showing what vile filth comes out of Mike’s mouth after drinking a dozen of these. So essentially what was cut from the video was Mike berating Jay on his foolish purchase. You see, the supply in the RLM booze fridge with thin at best. Jay bought beer cause he liked the green/yellow package design and was thrilled at the sight of a skeleton aviator on the can. What he didn’t check was the ABV, which is at a very healthy 9.5%. Mike’s been around the block a few times more than Jay so that’s the very first thing Mike checks. After our Half in the Bag “What are these super bottles?!” incident when Mike accidentally drank 9 beers that were 12%, he knows to check. ABV stands for alcohol by volume. It also stands for how soon Mike becomes a slurring monster who can’t say the word “apartment” and passes out into a bonfire suffering 2nd degree burns on his wang and dumplings – rendering all his man-parts useless. However, Mike faced a difficult choice: Deal with the unbearable state of sobriety or drink the beers that are 9.5% and hope for the best. He chose the latter. Krebs does not approve. The results will be apparent as the night goes on. In the end though, what we have here is another classic Wheel of the Worst. So settle in for the next 90 minutes with your favorite beverage and snack and prepare to laugh, cry, and soil yourself with laughter that will give you nightmares for the rest of your sad lives.

[neathbound-fiends]

A Spoiler-light Guide for Fallen London

A couple friends have recently started playing FL, or were curious about the game and setting, and I thought it would be handy to try and put together a little guide to the basic setting and lore that ground you into it, and. well. brevity is the soul of wit, but it is neither a virtue nor a friend of mine. So I figured I would post it for other people to enjoy as well!

I don’t really delve into the mechanics too deeply, and also avoid a lot of the really lore-heavy stuff (Ambitions, Parabola, the Railway, etc), and have kept it pretty narrowed on Fallen London in particular

If you see any glaring errors, let me know, and if you find it handy, consider giving it a reblog! Guide beneath cut

Fallen London is a text-based role-playing/interactive narrative browser game with gothic overtones, in the gaslamp fantasy and alternative history genres. There is art for icons for characters, for banners, and two different interactive maps, and social options with other players to help/hinder them in certain aspects, but the gameplay itself is entirely text-based and is single-player. The central conceit of Fallen London is as follows:

Forty years ago, in December of 1861, Prince Albert dies. In our timeline, his wife remains in mourning black for the rest of her life. In this timeline, however, she is approached by shadowy figures, referring to themselves only as the ''Masters of the Bazaar'', or occasionally simply the ''Masters''. They offer her back her husband's life, in exchange for one thing: the city of London. She accepts their terms, and in the beginning of 1862, the city disappears overnight, swallowed by a cloud of bats. London, now referred to as Fallen London by its inhabitants and much of the rest of the world, now resides quite cozily in a vast subterranean cavern referred to as the Neath. The above world is referred to simply as the Surface to any of the Neath's citizens

BASIC GEOGRAPHY OF FALLEN LONDON

The Neath itself is quite vast, enough so to contain an ocean of its own, and is located in rough proximity to a variety of interesting locations, which will be touched on further below. The city itself, referred to as the Fifth City, as it's the fifth to be swallowed into the Neath, has been rearranged terribly, with all the streets twisting and labyrinthine, leading to the Bazaar at the center of it, wherein the Masters conduct their business, and which is their main focus of power. Beneath the Fifth City lies the Fourth, beneath that the Third, the Second, the First. When a new City is stolen purchased, it is simply dropped atop the previous one, crushing it. There are remains of previous Cities to be found if one looks hard enough

The Fifth City itself is divided into various neighborhoods, each of which carries its own reputation, notable locations, and faction(s) it caters to. The main areas of the City are as follows:

These places, for the most part, correspond to the names of locations in their prelapsarian counterparts, but have had their names changed due to the outlawing of their continued use (along with the confiscation and ban on any former maps, or of the street signs that once made the City more traversable on the Surface.) Ladybones Road was once Marlyebone, Veilgarden was once Covent Garden, and so forth. Most of the new names are, roughly, analogous, or able to be parsed somewhat from their old ones

+Spite, a district which is known for its rookeries, its silk weavers, and primarily its Criminal elements, and housing Mahogany Hall, the notorious venue of magicians, stageplays, operas, and other forms of theatrical entertainment, the Orphanage, one of many but most notorious for something going on there, and Doubt Street, where the City's newspapers are printed

+Veilgarden, the Bohemian center of London, which is home to drug dens, brothels, bookstores, one of the most notorious pubs in all of London, and housing, on one end, the University (itself divided between Benthic and Summerset Colleges, which cater to any and everyone, including women and the infernal, and the much more posh and well-bred of Society, respectively)

+Ladybones Road, haunt of spies, Devils, and detectives, housing Moloch Street Station, which runs a direct train line to Hell, the Brass Embassy, Hell's Embassy in London, Concord Square, the base of the Constables, and the notorious home of the Honey-Addled Detective

+Wilmot's End, the true haunt of spies playing the Great Game, and housing little more than a large quantity of statues, memorials, etc, as well as the Foreign Office, an office catering to those with interests beyond London

+The Flit, knotted rope bridges and rickety platforms of scrap wood and metal, and the haunt of the orphan gangs, Revolutionaries, and housing the court of the mad beggar known as the Topsy King, and his ''court'' the Raggedy Men, used as a safe haven from the Constables who won't chase you that far

+Mrs. Plenty's Carnival, home to the City's carnival and a neutral ground in which to meet the major factions of the game (detailed further below), with the dangerous House of Mirrors, and housing Madame Shoshana's fortune telling tent

+Watchmaker's Hill, a haunt of no one in particular, and home to the Department of Menace Eradication, the base out of which the monster-hunters of all stripes take contracts, the notorious pub the Medusa's Head, run by a Criminal kingpin known as the Cheery Man, and an observatory which employs only the blind; the secret fight-rings, run by a self proclaimed Prince, are also operated out of here, though they take place in various locations across the City

+Wolfstack Docks, home to Zailors, dockworkers, and factory workers, and home to the notorious pub the Blind Helmsman, and a large quantity of the City's factories, as well as the offices of one of the Masters

+Bazaar Side-Streets, the crowded and elite establishments which cater to the well-heeled and well-connected enough to have earned a spot with such obscene rent, including a large number of social clubs, the most fearsome law firm in London, Baseborn & Fowlingpiece, Solicitors at Law, and other businesses which cater to Persons of Some Importance

+The Forgotten Quarter, ruins of the Fourth City which serve as the haunt of outcasts of all stripes, including Devils, Tomb Colonists, and Rubbery Men, and home to nothing but a Base Camp one can establish for expeditions and ruin diving, and the Temple Club, a mysterious club whose entry is nearly impossible to gain

+The Shuttered Palace, the home of Her Enduring Majesty, known most commonly and widely as the Traitor Empress, and the Court within caters to Society types, Constables, the Church, and those connected to the Duchess, and barred to anyone who's displeased the Empress or Prince Consort

BASIC ECOLOGY AND WEATHER

The Neath, due to the lack of sunlight, and owing to the nature of being a cavern, also lacks the majority of weather. It does maintain seasonality, somewhat, with the False-summer being exceptionally hot and humid, and also being the season for ''spore-fever'', when the majority of the fungal and mycological life sporulates, and is described as a City-wide allergy season. There is also a winter, in which the City is bitterly cold, and paths to lodgings are blocked by the ''snow'', an oddly textured slurry that smells of ammonia and is considered dangerous for the soul, and lasts about a month. The rest of the time, the weather is fairly consistent; a bit cold, often damp, with a tendency towards thick fog at the Docks, and along the edges of the City. Occasionally it drizzles lightly, and seldomly it will open in a violent downpour that matches the ferocity of a true rainstorm as one might encounter on the Surface

Due to the lack of sunlight necessary for most plant life, the Neath is primarily filled with species that have adapted to this. Algae blooms, insects with bioluminescence, and a vast array of mushrooms and other fungus which thrive in the dark and damp, and have been converted into all manner of commodity and service. Fabrics made of strange pelts, or woven from the silk of massive tarantulas, or feathers of the few birds that can be caught. Food made of all forms of insect, of zee-creature, of meat of questionable origin, of mushrooms turned into nearly any delicacy you can imagine. The people have adapted to the darkness as well, with an extensive use of candles, gas lamps, lanterns, and, rather sparingly due to the immense cost, electric lighting

NON-HUMAN CITIZENS

One of the changes in the animals of the Neath, aside from the physical changes which are adaptations to their new surroundings, are that cats and rats have both gained the miraculous (if obnoxious) gifts of speech and sentience. Cats guard the secrets of the City, and rats have formed their own industries and societies beneath the streets and in the forgotten corners of the City. They are granted some of the same rights as humans, though not fully. One of the former mayors of London, the very last one before the position was abolished, was a cat

In addition to rats and cats, the Neath also boasts several other species of nonhuman inhabitants imbued with sentience milling about. These are:

Clay Men, (note that not all are men), a species primarily created for the purpose of cheap labor. They do not require sustenance, can be repaired with mud, and are generally obedient. Those who are freed are free to pursue other avenues of employment, for themselves, though they are met with harsh backlash from the City, as well as their own kind. Unfinished Men, Clay Men who lack something physical or metaphysical, are often hunted for being dangerous. Notable Clay Men include Jasper and Frank, enforcers for the Masters, and the Familiar Footman

Rubbery Men, who are almost exclusively considered non-men, but are considered Rubbery. They are squid people, or at least something near to it, who are unable to speak human/humanoid languages, with a deep affinity for amber, and who are reviled by polite society, though they all appear to be incredibly mild mannered, and often skittish. They occupy an obscure and nigh inaccessible locale known as Flute Street. Notable Rubbery Men include the Tentacled Entrepreneur

Devils, who are discussed in more detail in a further section. Notable devils include the deviless Virginia, former Lord-Mayor of London

THE BASIC FACTIONS

There are twelve factions with whom you can gain Favors (used as a currency to spend using their connections for rewards), and Renown (a system ranking one's closeness to any given faction, and occasionally used as a check for certain options, and can grant special items upon reaching certain levels). There are also several additional factions that don't grant Favors/Renown, but are instead measured through Connected:, a level which you can spend points of like Favors but lacking in the special Renown items. The major factions of Fallen London are as follows:

THE UNTERZEE

+Bohemians: the artists of Fallen London, primarily through sculpture, paintings, written forms, and fashion. Known as being rather outre, and less than respectable. Often associated with criminal elements to a lesser degree, and with drugs, alcohol, and hedonism

+Constables: the law of Fallen London. They form the police force, and are often considered to be in the pocket of the Masters and the rich. They occupy Concord Square, run the prison of New Newgate, and have a large outpost in late game content

+Criminals: the organized crime of Fallen London. There are numerous heavy hitters once can back behind, running conflicting and overlapping enterprises, and in innumerable different varieties. The biggest names in the Fifth City's crime are the Cheery Man, the Gracious Widow, and the Topsy King, though it is difficult to cross any part of the city without encountering a Criminal

+Hell: the infernal denizens of the Neath, and frequent visitors to Fallen London, touched on in a later section

+Revolutionaries: the anarchists, the pamphlet-pushers, and the counter culture of Fallen London. They run contrary to the Masters, to the Constables, and to anyone else attempting to oppress them. Their influence is felt most in shadowy areas, though many of them can't agree what it is they should all be fighting for. Factions within, falling beneath different organizers and goals, leads to infighting--and bombs

+Rubbery Men: the tentacles outcasts of Fallen London, touched on briefly above

+Society: the wealthy, privileged elite of Fallen London. They are respectable upper crust, who are mostly old money (though some new), and who hold sway within the court of public opinion. Many of them are found in exclusive salons, or in the Empress's Court, and who frown upon any unseemly things (the impoverished, the outre, the daring, etc)

+The Church: the clergy of Fallen London. This is, very notably, the Anglican Church. They are opposite of Hell as a faction, and are generally regarded with a mixture of veneration and scorn, depending on one's opinion of ecclesiastical matters, and there is noted tension between the Bishop of St. Fiacre's and the Bishop of Southwark

+The Docks: the maritime workers of Fallen London. They are the stevedores, the zailors (discussed in the next session), the captains, and any other maritime occupation, and are mostly centered around Wolfstack. They are highly superstitious, and their favor is capricious with it. Many are known to, or suspected of, engaging in smuggling as they represent the connection to the Surface

+The Great Game: the spies of Fallen London. The Great Game represents powers from every country and every continent, and its agents and actors are often known for their ruthlessness with their fellow spies. They are often noted for using the game of chess as a motif, and perhaps as a more direct usage of their power

+Tomb-Colonists: the elderly, and the ugly of Fallen London. When one has gotten too old, or gained too many scars to be fit for polite society, they are exiled to the Tomb Colonies, a series of Quiet Cities which serve as a retirement community of sorts. Dusty and ancient, they are wrapped in bandages like mummies, and know the secrets of Cities past. The most famous Tomb Colony city is that of Venderbight

+Urchins: the orphans of Fallen London, who are commonly located between the roofs themselves and the Flit. They've formed several notable gangs, who wage warfare with eachother and against the people around them. The named gangs are the Regiment, the Knotted Sock, the Fisher-Kings, the Noughts, and the Crosses (the most bitter warfare is between the latter two)

Touching London, and the purpose of the Docks, is the Unterzee, often shortened to the Zee, a massive brackish lake originally explored by Dutch sailors, who gave it its name. Zailors, those who ply their trade on the water, are often given to dropping a nautical Z into their speech (though an overuse of this is a sure sign of a landlubber who's trying too hard). The Zee itself has numerous islands, and several ''continents'', as well as other landmarks and dangers within it. Pirates, brawling monks, and Devils are just some of the other people along the waters who will hinder your progress and pose a threat to the merchants and private vessels that plow through the dark waters of the Zee. Maps are notoriously useless in the Neath, but especially so when zailing; the geography occasionally opts to rearrange itself in a vast shifting of land, though it stays somewhat consistent as to allow experience to be a guide, and to help correct the inconsistencies

In the waters, some of the zee-beasts one might encounter include vicious seals with armored hide, massive crabs with a penchant for malice and murder, feral crocodiles, and massive icebergs that consume and destroy everything in their path. Some of the less hostile zee-life take the form of starfish with a massive eye on each of the arms, some type of aquatic life with beautiful rainbow fins, some horrible aquatic spider-adjacent creature that spits webs on you, and massive jellyfish. Also in the waters, neither animal nor human, are the Drownies, who are the victims of drownings and who are alive...sort of. They're drowned corpses, who are animate as much as any other person, but whose bodies tend to retain the dimples from being touched, who are always frigid and shivering (and complaining), and who are keen on drowning others to join them. They serve an entity known as the Fathom-king

Zee captains are the only way in which you can receive any goods from the Surface, as their heavy black cloth draped vessels navigate the canal that connects the two, at great expense. Fresh goods are prohibitively priced due to the cost involved in getting them down to the Neath, so only the wealthy enjoy anything that isn't native to the Neath

HELL

Not quite touching London, but near enough to the west to have grabbed London's attention, lies Hell. There is debate among theologians whether or not it's the Hell spoken of in the Bible, or some other region that contains some of the fanciful elements, and the Devils themselves are no help. London entered into a war with their infernal neighbors, intent on conquering them, and were defeated so terribly that the infamous Campaign of '68 still has scars on the surviving veterans and forced the City to make some concessions

Chief among these was the establishment of an Embassy in London, and a railway that runs back to Hell for any hardworking Devil to return home after a long day's work. Those who don't have apartment in the Embassy, and along Moloch Street are a number of establishments by and for the infernal, including Dante's Grill, and Abbadon and Bael (a trading company). The Embassy is also known for its extravagant masked balls, for its floors of molten brass, and for the thriving soul trade that runs through it

The nature of souls is also much debated. Souls are physical things that can be extracted, that can be sold, melted, consumed, or otherwise changed. The soul trade is strictly regulated through the Bazaar; Hell imports souls, and charges its Devils with, first and foremost, gathering them from the residents of London, and in exchange, Hell exports brass, hydrogen, devilbone, and other little odds and ends. Souls possess different qualities, and different flaws, which correspond to the appearance, as well as to the taste, of it. More experienced Devils are able (or at least claim to be able) to discern the person a soul came from just based on examination of it, and are regarded and referred to as sommeliers for this purpose. Living without a soul is perfectly manageable, though you may find yourself barred from certain well-respected establishments and persons, as they don't associate with the soulless

The Devils themselves are somewhat of an anomaly. They are not human, certainly, but they are quite humanlike. They eat, they sleep, they breathe. They possess eyes that range from shades of yellow to amber to dark orange or red, sharp teeth, and a faint but noticeable aroma of roses, rot, and brimstone. Despite persistent rumors, they don't actually have horns, nor do they have tails, but they are almost painfully hot to the touch, and their saliva and tears are both hot enough to burn

With a propensity towards law, they regulate their soul trade through the use of contracts, and can be terribly charming when they want to be. They appreciate art, they appreciate cuisine, they appreciate lavish and flashy lifestyles. They are all fake. Their affection and attentions only run so long as there is something to be gained. Their vengeance is patient, as they will inform you that the oldest among them are thousands of years old, that they will eclipse your lifespan by tens or hundreds of times. They are ruthlessly efficient, often hedonistic, and value the worst traits of people. To be beloved by the Devils is to be reviled by the upper echelons of Society, and one must be either foolish or reckless to seek their company

Just as there is regulated soul trade, there is also unregulated soul trade, which is referred to as spirifage. Spirifage, practiced by spirifers, are almost exclusively humans, who tend to steal the souls of the desperate and downtrodden in order to sell them directly to Hell for a better rate, as they're able to avoid all the tariffs and the red-tape that one encounters when going through the legal channels of the Bazaar. They often work for Hell, under the auspices of a Devil with questionable goals or needs, as anyone caught engaging in spirifage is severely punished, so as to prohibit the lucrative trade from being outside of the control they hold

One of the most notable things about the Devils, aside from their inhuman nature, is that they are also, undeniably, anachronistic. Fallen London takes place in the 1890s (perpetually. The current year is 1901 1899 III, due to a decree that the new century has been canceled indefinitely.) The Devils, however, possess fashion, technology, turns of phrases, tastes, and other features associated with the American 1920s. Their architecture and clothing are described as shockingly modern, from a time which has yet to pass, their music featuring a lot of brass, their accents thick (New Yorkers, the lot of them). The reasons behind this are rather lore-intensive, but this is worth noting (in my opinion) nonetheless

THE MASTERS

Up until now, I've been relatively vague regarding the Masters, and mentioning them but without actually explaining anything about them. They are massive cloaked figures, standing at 7+ feet, even hunched as they are, who speak in shrill voices and regulate the trade in London strictly. Despite the Parliament and the Queen, they are undeniably the ones in charge, though they tend to involve themselves mostly with infighting and legislation. The Masters, and their domains of trade, are as follows:

Some Masters are seen often, others rarely, and each, in addition to its own whims and personalities, also run various other enterprises. They range from stalls or shops in various parts of the City, to schemes with and against eachother, to factories and businesses. Regardless of one's feelings towards them, it is impossible to avoid some aspect of London which they have put their gloves hands on.

+Mr. Apples, who governs the trade over wood, fruits, breads, and immortality, among other things

+Mr. Cups, who governs the trade over tableware, crockery, relics, and clocks, and collects garbage interesting trinkets through its Relickers and their carts

+Mr. Fires, who governs the trade over gas, candles, and coal, as well as maintaining the majority of the factories along the Docks. It frequently dispatches the Neddy Men, their personal enforcers, as strikebreakers, and manages the dirigible systems

+Mr. Hearts, who governs the trade over meat, bones, organs, and other exotics

+Mr. Iron, who governs the trade over printing-presses, engines, tools, and weapons, among other entrepreneurial pursuits in the Zee

+Mr. Mirrors, who governs the trade over in glasswork, most notably mirrors and windows. It is rarely seen.

+Mr. Pages, who governs the trade over the written word, and also manages the Ministry of Public Decency, censors who confiscate offensive and dangerous materials from the public

+Mr. Spices, who governs the trade over honey, spices, and smokes, and is in vicious and contentious competition with Mr. Wines for control of dreams

+Mr. Stones, who governs the trade over minerals and gemstones of all varieties, as well as a preoccupation over "value" itself

+Mr. Veils, who governs the trade over cloth and clothing, and who resents the notion that it may be in charge of the ladies of the night attributed to it in zailor's songs

+Mr. Wines, who governs the trade over drinkables, ranging from wine, to medicine, to coffee, to other more sinister potables, and, curiously, excluding water. It is in charge of the prostitutes of the City, and is in contentious competition with Mr. Spices over the domain of dreams

Being that they are excessively large, cloaked head to toe, and speak in shrill whispers (aside from Mr. Iron, who never speaks, and only writes), the general consensus is they are inhuman, though no one is quite sure what they might be. It's unwise to be caught speculating. Their gender, also, seems to be iffy at best. No one seems to really think they consider themselves men; the title ''Mr.'' appears to be a formality

DEATH AND ITS FORMS

Death as a concept is something that is rather complicated in Fallen London, owing to the fact that it is, rarely, permanent. Most people have died at least once, some more than others (and some much more than others), but you wouldn't know it aside from perhaps a novel and dashing scar, or a story surrounding the circumstances of it.

Temporary death lands one on a slow boat in a river, headed by a skeletal man (known, quite simply, as the Boatman) who carefully steers away from the hungrier parts of the river and away from the banks. There are a number of ways for one to return to life, whether you choose to steal the breath of your fellow passengers, to play chess against the Boatman, or to think very, very hard about being alive again, or a few others

There is no consensus as to what exactly your body in the slow boat is, because your body--your real one, perhaps--is still located where it fell. People may rummage through your pockets, or do you a good turn and patch you up a bit, or drag you off to someplace less obtrusive until you return to it, but it is very much present wherever it was

Temporary death, the kind that is the most abundant by orders of magnitude, is achieved through a great number of means. One could die in the fight rings, or receive a fatal wound from an overzealous player of Knife-and-Candle, the boyish game of murder, or have caught the wrong end of Jack-of-Smiles--or, at least, one of his many incarnations; the ways to meet your end in Fallen London are many, and the consequences are generally negligible. Those who acquire too many deaths, and in so doing too much scarring, are exiled to the Tomb Colonies

Though inconvenient to die (it really doesn't feel good at all), it's regarded by the general populace as being no more inconvenient than a few bee stings, or other such troubling but trifling circumstances. Pain, and much of your day lost to attempting to recover, but little else otherwise

The biggest consequence of a death is that your first one guarantees you will belong to the Neath, forever. You will never again be able to return to the Surface, because contact with the sunlight will kill you permanently. This is also true, of course, if you have spent long enough in the Neath, but the timeline is hazy at best. No one can say for certain that it's been too long unless you attempt it, and that's a risk rarely actually taken beyond in one's daydreams. With a death, however, there is no longer any doubt about the situation. You know, for certain, that you have officially lost your chance, and that this is your new home, now and forever

As mentioned above, there are a few methods of permanent death. For example, there are a select few poisons capable of killing you permanently, though they're rare and expensive. You could be exposed to sunlight (and, in fact, some Tomb Colonists, when they feel they've lived long enough and are ready for it, will return to the Surface to allow themselves to be consigned to the sunlight and witness it one final time.) If you're chopped apart properly and dismembered, or sustain a few truly grievous injuries that destroy your body too terrible to render it repairable, you will be permanently dead

Permanent death is such a rare visitor to the Neath that there are often vigils held for the permanently dead before being interred, just to ensure there is truly no chance of their coming back. Surgeons pay citizens who are capable of lying quite still and can tolerate the pain to allow themselves to be cut open to demonstrate to their students

[minjeonpark]

Loooong time no see

Like AO3 says, "Brevity is the soul of the wit", and while everytime i came on here i was everything but brief let me try and make this brief lmao.

Im surprised I still remember my AO3 and Tumblr password. Thank you google for saving them for me I guess.

Let me start off by saying, I`m sorry for leaving you guys hanging. After all that happened I lost all motivation to finish Days Since I Met You. I thought I could come back to it once all the negative people moved on, but i eventually got caught up in adult life...as everyone does and it was me who ended up moving on.

I want to give you guys closure. I still don`t know how. I havent brainstormed the details yet, bare with me.

I've been reading all your messages and DMs and it just felt right to come on here and say Hi, I'm still alive.

My inbox is open if you guys want to ask questions.

I`m going to start by answering everyone`s question....YES, i still have all the drafts as well as all the plot holes lmao.

See you guys soon.

[paganminiskirt]

Capcom really said “someone needs to save Zoe so here’s Jack’s brother who wears a peace sign necklace and lives in voluntary exile in his small Deep South community despite hailing from a well regarded local family” instead of just “someone needs to save Zoe so here’s her gay uncle.” Like um?? Brevity is the soul of wit??