#i think honestly im just not . someone who likes to write a ton of words. brevity is the soul of wit as they say

[fat-fem-and-asian]

a tiny little morsel of tgirl karolina to get me thru the day. just a little nibble

[s0ulryo]

König with a Medic S/O Scenario *:･ﾟ

[König x Reader] Synopsis: König getting patched up by his favorite medic —you. Tags: Soft, konig lovers we rise, established relationship (i forget to put this tag on a ton of things whoops), mentions of distress (?) Notes: Prolly ooc, not proofread, his voice is so mmmmm, also my brain blanked so many times while writing this so im vv sorry for the wonky formatting

Thank you @uselsshuman for letting me write about this!

(Reader is always gn unless specified otherwise.)

König dislikes a lot of things. He wouldn’t say he hates anything but the list of dislikes has grown over the years. For example, König dislikes crowded places, the smell of cigarettes, getting injured, having to go to a medic to treat his injury, having to see you — who is a medic to treat his injury, having to get chewed out by you for obtaining an injury — you get the point.

So here he sits, listening to you freak out about the injury he obtained while being deployed. He knows you don’t mean any harm by it; you’re just concerned for his safety — König appreciates it, he really does — but he’s also a little stressed out by your current commentary.

“Oh my God — König, how the hell did you manage to do this?”

He honestly doesn’t think it’s that bad; sure, the wound looks terrible — but it doesn’t feel too horrible, so it can’t be too bad, right?

Wrong.

“König, are you listening to me? König, are you alright?”

König’s very thankful for you. He thinks you’re awfully nice and very understanding about his feelings, and in all honesty, he’s not sure how he managed to get with someone like you, but he’s not going to question it — he’s just going to enjoy it.

“Sorry, could you repeat what you just said?” König mumbles out sheepishly.

He can’t help it. You’re exceptionally attractive, and König now realizes his arm is in an exceptional amount of pain — and bleeding tremendously. ‘Things like attractive S/O and immense amounts of pain due to physical injury usually make it difficult to focus,’ he reasons to himself.

Sighing, you shake your head. “König, please try to avoid getting injured — this is the second time this week….”

Nodding softly in acknowledgment, König continues to watch you gather the supplies you need to patch his arm up; his eyes flicker around in discomfort, bouncing his leg up and down to keep his mind occupied. Sure he’s sustained worse injuries than this, but getting patched up has always made him anxious.

Swallowing thickly, König tries to place himself out of this situation – somewhere nicer than your medical workspace that smells like antiseptic – anywhere else than here.

He watches you set to work, his eyes closely following the movement of your hands on his arm, cleaning the wound gently, trying to make the process quicker and easier on him.

He’s vaguely aware that his breathing got heavier or how he’s feeling light headed, heart in his throat – vaguely aware that you’re calling his name.

“…ig” “…önig”

He can see you talking, but he can’t hear you very well; bouncing his leg more rapidly, he tries to say anything to tell you how he feels, but he can’t get any words out.

“..ey…hey big guy – look, I’m here, you’re alright – okay?” You try to get him to focus on you, not necessarily your words but just on you.

"Try to take a big breath, big guy – yeah, just like that – breathe in, breathe out…You're doing great König.”

Following your instructions König (tries) to take a deep breath in and out, focusing on what you smell like and your voice. König feels a little stupid, he’s gotten shot – almost killed before, but he can’t take a little doctor's visit? So yeah, it's definitely a critical hit on his ego; he’s just glad it’s you with him.

After calming down a bit König bites the inside of his cheek, diverting his eyes to the door to the far left of the room. He considers bolting out of your office – he won’t have to get patched up, and he won't have to face you, so it’s a win-win situation—

“König dear, don’t try to run out of the room,” you tell him firmly, more so for you than for him – if he decides to make a hasty exit, you conclude that you would not be able to catch the injured man.

“…Am I that obvious [Name]?”

“Yes, dear…You are pretty obvious.”

The silence in the room was deafening, not super awkward – just a bit tense.

König sighs, visibly deflating in his chair; he mutters an apology, watching your figure look in the bottom drawer of your desk. He feels like he’s back in primary school when kids would make fun of him, leaving him all embarrassed.

Well, in this situation, he feels more ashamed than embarrassed.

He continues to watch you shuffle through the drawer until you find what you were looking for – suddenly, you turn to him, smiling triumphantly, motioning for him to stick out his hand to take what you were holding.

“What is it [Name]?” König asks, reaching out for the unknown object in your hand.

Upon further examination, König realizes the object is made of solid metal and cylindrical – resembling a car transmission.

“It’s a fidget toy! I like that one personally because I like the feeling of the transmission shifting gears – but I have some other ones if you would like.”

König stares at you dumbfounded. Diverting his eyes to the small toy in his hand, he starts to mess with it.

“König, I’m going to continue patching you up, alright? Please let me know if you need anything….”

Nodding, he continues to mess with the toy in his hand, gnawing at his bottom lip to suppress a smile.

König, a man that stands at six foot ten inches, just received a fidget toy from his medic S/O – how could he not smile?

“König, I’m done cleaning the wound, but you’ll need some stitches, alright? I’ll try to make this as quick as possible.”

König continues to watch you work while shifting the fidget toy from first gear to sixth gear, grateful for the newfound distraction from the distressing environment he’s currently in. He’s also immensely thankful that you are walking him through everything you do – even though he’s not entirely listening.

“Finished! All patched up, big guy – how are you feeling?” You say, tying off the final stitch on König’s arm.

“Better – I feel better,” König says, fumbling with his words, speaking with such haste, appearing as if you caught him off guard.

“Great, I’ll write down the care instructions for your stitches, so you don’t forget – come back here in two-ish weeks to remove the stitches, alright?

Standing up, he shyly extends his hand out to you, offering to return the toy you graciously lent him.

“Oh, you can keep that big guy – you seem to like it…So you can have it.”

König stares at you dumbfounded again, shifting his gaze from you to the small toy in his hand, back to you.

“…You sure?” König asks you quietly.

“Positive.” You respond, pushing his extended hand back towards him. “I want you to have it.”

König thinks he’s going to combust.

His awfully nice, exceptionally attractive S/O just watched him break down, patched him up, and gave him a gift. He’s not sure what he has ever done to be treated with such care, but if he thinks about it any longer, he might start to cry.

Bending down, he mutters a ‘thank you’ into your neck, tightly wrapping his arms around your shoulders.

“König..?” He hears you say softly, “Can we stay like this for a while..?”

Humming in approval, he pulls you closer to him, slightly swaying side to side, putting more of his weight on your body to keep you in place.

You don’t know what injuries König will acquire the next time he’s deployed, but for now, your mind is here – at this moment, with König holding you in his embrace and the steady beating of his heart proving that he’s alive and that he loves you.

[webby-vanderslap]

hey so i know you dont use this account anymore like. at all but I'd just like to say thank you for writing ur Weblena fics. I've been reading them since the show ended and they really were the high i rode when i didn't have anyone to talk to about dt17

and guess what? IM STILL AT THE DAMN RESTAURANT. Well, not constantly. It's more of an on and off thing.

But now I got someone to rewatch (for them, its just watch) dt17 and i may or may not have made them get really into it. I recommend your fics to them bcuz it was the ones I remembered constantly reading and waiting for updates for when they were still updating. And well, it got me rereading your fics and it made me realize how lucky we were to have you as an author.

So anyway, lots of love from here. Thank you for writing.

(The person I made to watch dt17 is a fan of Deltarune so I might just send them your way too :pp)

Hey, thank you so much for this message!! I’ve been seeing your comments pop up, lmao, and even if I’ve moved on from this fandom, I cherish the comments I receive on all of my fics, old and new, so I really appreciate you sending people (and yourself) my way still!

Ducktales meant a ton to me both as a writer and as a person, and I’m honestly still super proud of those stories, even if my writing has matured a lot since I published them. That was a crazy time -- I don’t think my sheer writing output has ever again come close to matching the amount I was putting in during the height of my Weblena Career. So basically, I’m super thankful for everyone who read and enjoyed my stuff back then, and doubly thankful for you and the others who are still reading every now and then!

And side note, since you’ve graciously provided me the space to plug myself, while I’ve been going strong on Deltarune for a few years now, Dungeon Meshi is actually my latest kick, so if anyone still following this blog in the year of our lord 2024 happens to have crossover in that fandom and liked my writing, you can read my extremely slowly updating fic for that here lmao (just know its rated M, and has manga spoils :p)

Opportunistic tangent aside, thanks again for the kind words!! So, so nice to hear that people are still enjoying all the work I put into those adorable dumb gay birds.

[medievildead]

for the ship opinion bingo kratos/heimdall 👉👈

HOOOO BOY SORRY THIS TURNED INTO A RANT however you did ask for my opinion and this is my blog so you know what. I am gonna post it. And this will be the only time I talk about it.

I reeeeeally don't like kradall it creeps me out and I don't understand it at fucking all. I see people try to make Hear Me Out posts about them and AUs about them and it just makes less and less sense to me (and I KNOW this is bold ass words coming from me I KNOW) but the canon dynamic that does exist for them at no point to me ever at all in the slightest tipped me off or made me think to ship them. Never clicked.

Then again you gotta remember that I'm someone who has been autistic about Kratos since 2005 and I am so incredibly damn picky about shipping him unironically with anyone. Shipping Kratos with Heimdall knowing the kind of person Kratos is and what hes gone through to Become his new self in the norse saga just doesn't make sense. A lot of kradall I see (that isn't non/con honestly another huge reason I don't vibe with it is that a bunch of people use it as a bolt for r/pe stuff in the early moments of Ragnarok fandom) is just them in a very ooc marriage situation I can't wrap my head around. Throwing Kratos into a heavy intense relationship is dumb to me like it took him centuries to fucking get over Lysandra and then moving on to Faye and I'm expected to belive the Hear Me Out posts about why Kratos would be in a long term relationship with.... Heimdall? The guy who is a complete prick to giants? Who actively said misogynistic shit about Atreus' mom who Kratos still loves with his whole heart? And threatened to actively kill his 14 year old son? Kratos's son? Kratos who has lifelong trauma about his child dying from war? I'm not buying it im sorry. No way you cook it will convince me.

In the early points of the ships existence honestly felt to me like people who were into Heimdall just wanted to explore a crutch for brat breaking. But its just genuinley not something I'm into. I'm a firm believer of ship and let ship as long as its harmless and for the most part it is! It's people having fun but it's not for me and never, ever ever will be no matter what and there is a reason I don't talk about it on this blog.

I've been in this fandom a long time and let me say Kratos x Heimdall reminds me a lot of when GoW3 came out and people started shipping and writing tons of Kratos x Hermes dubcon stuff for the sole reason of yaoi fujoshi people wanted to fetishize the gay male power dynamic. Its like I honestly feel some people see a big muscular man and a smaller effeminate man and are like "oh I need to make one a submissive girl" like again I know its just words and pictures on a screen but I have been here long enough to be Very Tired of seeing my sexuality get used as a fetish tool sjshskdnks

And. And ill be honest. And this is petty and trust me this is literally just me and my opinion but I cannot fucking stress how utterly confused and flabbergasted because FREYR IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE. HE IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE. BLATANTLY INTO KRATOS, A COMPLETE KIND SWEETHEART FULL OF LOVE, EXACTLY THE KIND OF GUY THAT WOULD SHOW KRATOS A GOOD TIME AND HAS AN ADORABLE ONSCREEN DYNAMIC THAT DOESN'T EVEN NEED TO BE AU'd OR CHANGED TO MAKE SENSE AND THIS FANDOM DOES NOTHING WITH IT. I see so many AUs where Heimdall survives to get with Kratos and valid but you know what??? I am gonna be angry, WHERE ARE MY FREYR LIVES AUs. WHERE ARE MY AUs WHERE FREYR LIVES AND GETS KRATOS ASCENDED ON THAT VANAHEIM ZA???????

LIKE FORREAL. I honestly feel like this fandom gets so blindsided by Heimdall and wanting to put him in situations and hell I'm guilty of it too, but I have genuinley met GoW Heimdall likers that straight up forgot Freyr existed and it shocks me. I don't get it!!!!!!

Theres a reason I ship Heimdall x Hermes together and its because their individual dynamics are so unbelievably compatible and I like to explore that. But I get people wanting something more realistic in universe as a muse. When it does come to shipping Heimdall with someone else in canon that makes absolute dynamic sense to me, I gotta be honest, Heimdall x Gná is the only "heimdall gets a dom" pairing that I can realistically get behind. Since they both would actually like each other despite being hated by all their peers for their devotion to Odin. Is it healthy? No, but Kradall isn't exactly peaches and cream either. So we work with what we got babey!!!!

[yoshkeii]

Can I request the bnha students with a male reader who is quirkless and used to be an assassin? And he just is like ‚f this s I’m out‘ whenever he has to have social interaction? Sorry if it’s too detailed

khai's extras;- im unlikely to write this as a full post and all- so hopefully just me doing my snippets are okay for you. i dont think i have the motivation to format requests like i used to,,, (ineedmorebnhareqsagainouuugh) but anyways. this is what i can muster, apologies in advance if this is a lil... shit- 🙏 characters;- bnha students (possible inclusion/mentions of Class A & B) reader;- quirkless! male reader (he/him)

→ honestly its very suiting for someone who took on role/occupation as an assassin and not like- social interaction.

→ its a very independent job to do, so the most curious of people of the classes tried to stay away from you- just to not make you uncomfortable or anything.

→ those people often included Midoriya, Yaomomo, Iida, Kendo, and possible others.

→ even if Midoriya had a shit ton of questions to ask you. he refrained. i wouldn't blame him, i would be very curious as well.

→ seeing the energetic bunches trying to get to know you was quite nerve wracking for you. especially when getting bomboarded with questions left to right, not a single time or space to think.

→ "how'd you take down villains/bad guys?" "can we/i see how you fight?" "can you teach us moves?" and- pretty much can go on. even the basic get to know you questions popped up.

→ and you could imagine it was Kaminari, Kirishima, Ochaco, Sero, Monoma too. Yes him.

→ definitely would have some sort of remark towards you... like he does almost anyone else. sassy mf.

→ this was the first interaction you had with most of the students. the very first impression that obviously left a good print in others AND your own mind- a memory you could recall in your future days.

→ but after that- eventually most of them learned how much you disliked the thought of social interactions. even going out in public was a hassle for you. so whenever you needed to go do some errands out there, at least one student came along with you.

→ it varied so much from student to student- even Aizawa did it once. i guess they wanted to make you feel comfortable and safe. (especially bein quirkless was troubling as it was.)

→ just the company was needed.

→ through these moments you've grown a bond between a lot of the students.

→ you learned about Midoriya's muttering habits more. his other interests. sill stories. and abit more of his childhood with Bakugou.

→ you learned more about Iida. listening to him intently as he went on about his family and sometimes class stuff... even if its- a tad bit boring.

→ then there's Bakugou. who really didn't conversate with you a lot when he accompanied you those very few times. but you did learn some things about him you'd never thought of. or anyone for that matter maybe. you dont know.

→ after meeting Class A & B, you couldnt help but feel somewhat... relieved. glad. content? it was something you couldnt put a word to. but you for sure love the encourage and safety they give you when they have can.

[thepinkhippoinhungryhungryhippos]

i will now ask 👁️👁️ for the bp LIs with an mc who has apd (auditory processing disorder).

i'll give details but im not sure if i can grasp it fully. basically apd is when you have difficulty processing audio (ex. someone is talking to you but the words are like static or smth) but its not being deaf you just have difficulty with it.

ty!! <333

thank you for the request!! this is my first time writing headcanons and for a reader who isn't just me projecting so,, take that as you will. it was fun to do and i tried to do some research on apd so hopefully i got it right? lmk :)

no warnings! have fun

nakedtoaster

they really honestly truly give me the autistic vibe

definitely has some audio issues themselves

specifically misophonia (because i am projecting and i love him)

so they understand your struggles to some degree

always willing to repeat words for you if you ask

and other people's words! doesn't seem super patient as a person but i think he wouldn't mind repeating the phrases if it was for you <3

they are a subtitle fan and love that you use them as well

once again it's the shared neurodivergency

xyx

(i headcanon that) he knows a few languages, including asl 

would gladly use it around you if you'd like

definitely takes the opportunity to take things back if you didn't hear something he is embarrassed about though

like in the game yk? (the falling in love when he didn't mean to twice line)

but usually shamelessly repeats his words at the first sign of confusion, even if they are thoroughly unfunny

nightowl

the type to do a ton of research once he learns you have apd

a bit of a try hard but at least he is trying at all?

doesn't immediately notice that you didn't hear him if you don't say something

but once he does know he is eager to accommodate :)

WILL fight anyone who is a jerk about repeating themselves i am not joking

gets calmer about it as time goes on give him a minute he will chill out on the anger and pride dw

after you guys confess your love he'll repeat it as many times as you need <3

even if you don't need it repeated he continues bc he can't stop saying how much he loves you

quest

the most calm about it (probably has had some type of connection to someone who had some form of an audio processing disorder/hearing disability before)

subtle when checking if you want something repeated

another avid subtitle user and enjoyer

knew some basic asl but tries to learn more if you know it

puts in the effort to support you :)

even when you're having A Day™ he is gentle

i love this man <3

[ackermanbitch]

Teenage Dirtbag (Peter Parker x Fem!Reader) Part 3

a/n: honestly this series prob wont even get a lot of attention but im very much enjoying writing it. also if you havent noticed reader isnt.....the brightest. like ofc shes smart in some senses, just not all of em. also we're pretending that civil war didnt escalate as fast as it did so my comedic filler makes sense :D

Part One

Part Two

pairing: peter parker x fem!stark!reader

warnings: cussing

word count: 2.6k

It was Sunday, she met up with Peter on Saturday and her dad was tired of asking himself, so instead he was sending in every Avenger to question his daughter.

First was Wanda. He knew her and (Y/N) were pretty close so she was a good first choice.

"Hey (Y/N), what's uppp? You were out the other day, right?" Wanda started, sitting on the edge of the teen's bed, watching her write something down at her desk.

"Yup." (Y/N) responded, not turning around to look at the redhead.

"Ohh, cool cool. What'd you do?" She tried to keep the tone light, but it was obvious she wasn't just chatting. Right now, (Y/N) couldn't really tell but Wanda's words sounded so forced.

"Homework." She swiveled her chair around to face Wanda, smiling slightly.

"You... Went out to do... Homework?"

"Yup, just homework. Math."

"..."

"Got quite a bit done actually, it was nice."

"Quite a bit, huh?" So, if she got a lot of work done, it meant there wasn't anything else she could've been doing. That was a relief.

"Yeahhh.. I actually have some more to do so if you don't mind..." (Y/N) mumbled, turning back to her desk where she most definitely wasn't doing any important work. Just doodling on the edge of her history assignment.

Well, that was a failure, next up: Steve, who's only doing this because he's also worried about the young Stark hanging out with boys, not because Tony asked him to.

(Y/N) always spilled her secrets to Steve, he was just easy to talk to like that. She still gripped her pencil a little tighter when she heard her door open behind her, contemplating putting on headphones and blasting them as loud as she could.

"Hey kid, what's up? What's going on in your world, do anything fun recently?" He asked as normally as he could, walking over to her desk.

"Nothing fun, no."

He nodded, leaning against the white wood, crossing his arms over his chest. "Well, did you do anything boring then?"

"It required all my brainpower, so no, I wouldn't say boring either just... Tiring." (Y/N) caught onto the whole scheme right before Wanda left her room, so of course she was going to mess with them by making her responses as vague as possible.

"Tiring?"

"Yup."

"Well, why was it tiring?"

"Like I just said, brainpower. And I don't have a ton of that so yeah, exhausting actually."

Steve raised an eyebrow, "Wanda said you were doing homework."

"Why is Wanda telling you what we talk about? That's kinda weird Cap." (Y/N) retorted, still not looking up from her paper.

"Ah it just uh, slipped into conversation. Tony said you were with someone?" He pried further, being utterly terrible at trying to stay subtle.

(Y/N) nodded, "Yeah, a friend."

"Where'd you meet hi- ahem, this friend?"

"School."

"Makes sense, makes sense..." Steve mumbled, looking down. "What's their name, have you been friends for a while?" He asked nonchalantly, looking back up at her.

"Nope, just started hanging out. Once. Yesterday."

'That's something at least.' He thought to himself, starting to tap his foot. Her avoidance of the first question didn't go unnoticed by him though.

"You plan to hang out more?" Geez, he was determined, was Tony paying him or something?

"Yeah actually I-" FUCK! Steve's easy-to-talk to-ness was getting to her.

He grinned, pushing off the desk and walking towards her door, "Make sure you finish that homework kid." (Y/N) grumbled something in response, rolling her eyes.

'I'm fucked, dad's gonna try and put me on lock down now.' She thought, thinking all the interrogating was over after her slip up. But oh no, Tony wanted a full name and who better to get information than an actual spy?

Natasha didn't waste any time, spinning (Y/N)'s chair around to face her as soon as she walked in. "What's his name?"

"Honestly, I can't remember, it was a whole day ago Na-"

"What's his name, (Y/N)? Tony will just continue bothering you with all his antics until you tell him or one of us, so tell me." Natasha cut her off, gripping the arms of the chair so (Y/N) had no escape.

(Y/N) sighed loudly, "Why does he care so much? I'm sure he has more important things to worry about, you know, 'cause he's Iron Man and all? Like that meeting no one will tell me about, but I definitely deserve to know about."

"Because you're his child, (Y/N). Your safety is more important than the world's safety in his opinion. He might not tell you enough, if at all, but he will always put you above his work, even if that work is saving the damn world." Natasha let go of the chair, squatting to (Y/N)'s level, "And no, you don't need to know about the meeting, so don't bother asking anyone else about it, kid."

(Y/N) stayed silent, grinding her teeth as she thought. Terrible habit that she most definitely got from her dad. "Peter isn't a threat, Nat. He's just a sweet guy trying to help me pass." She took a deep breath before continuing, "I'll tell you his last name for fucks sake, if you make sure my dad doesn't try to lock me up in response. I'm seeing him next weekend for more tutoring, and he really helps, I swear."

Natasha nodded, "I know he's not a threat because I know you-" She lightly jabbed her finger into (Y/N)'s chest, "are smart. Smart enough to know who has bad intentions and who doesn't. Of course you wouldn't willingly go to a guy's apartment by yourself if you didn't think he was harmless."

"How did you know I went to his apar-"

"Name, (Y/N)."

"Parker. His name is Peter Parker."

-----

"Parker? I knew it!" Tony exclaimed, sighing in relief.

"Wa- wait! You knew who it was and still made us interrogate her?!" Wanda questioned, throwing her arms up in the air. Steve scoffed, rolling his eyes and Natasha just leaned back with a sigh.

"I'm just glad I didn't have to go in there, she scares me." Sam mumbled, taking a sip of his drink.

"I had to make sure, there's plenty of Peter's at Midtown and I didn't think the kid would ever have the balls to dare hang out with (Y/N) Stark of all people." Tony explained, "He's just a nerd, I'm sure she's paying him quite a bit to have him do her homework."

Wanda raised an eyebrow, "He didn't do it for her, Tony. He helped her, she told me."

"With math? I don't know, I couldn't even tutor her." He shook his head, crossing his arms.

"Maybe she needed someone her age to help her, a friend." Wanda retorted before standing up and leaving the room with more sass than necessary.

Tony just huffed, "He definitely did it for her."

-----

The Sokovia Accords. Tony wanted to sign them, Steve didn't. What were the Accords even for and why wouldn't Steve sign them?

(Y/N) hid around the corner that morning, eavesdropping on the Avengers. She didn't stay long enough to get all the information so she wouldn't be late for school, but she still tried to piece things together as she rode in the backseat of the black car Happy was driving.

Accords, accords, accords... Must be some treaty. Obviously has to do with Sokovia, which means Ultron, which means the Avengers. Are they going to sign a peace treaty with Sokovia? Why would Steve be against that, he's all for peace, freedom, all that... And why would they need to sign something like that, they saved Sokovia?

(Y/N) groaned, dropping her head against her headrest, closing her eyes.

"Something wrong?" Happy asked suddenly, making (Y/N) open her eyes.

"I just have a test today." She lied, seeing the dreaded school come into view. Happy parked down the street, as always. It wasn't Happy himself she was embarrassed of or anything, it was the fact she had a chauffeur and was still going to Midtown High out of any school. People already talked about her being a spoiled brat in the halls, pulling up in a fancy black car every day didn't help.

She hopped out of the car, swinging her backpack over her shoulder and thanking Happy for driving her, as if he didn't drive her almost everywhere.

After getting a notebook and pencil bag out of his locker for first period, Peter slammed the door shut. "Hey Parker, I wa-"

"Jesus Christ!" He stumbled to the side, not having noticed (Y/N) standing behind his locker door with her arms crossed. "Do you know what the Sokovia Accords are?" She asked nonchalantly. Who else would she ask? He's a nerd, he must know all about stuff like this.

"I- the what? No, I don't think I've heard of that." He shook his head slightly, looking around for Ned to save him before Flash saw him and (Y/N) talking. Flash asked her out at every turn, always being denied quite violently and if he saw who he thought was the lamest loser on earth talking to her, he'd probably do more than call him names.

"Okay well, what do you think it is?" She continued, leaning forward slightly. She still had her backpack on, apparently going straight to Peter's locker. How did she even know where his locker was-

The brunette stuttered, "I mean- I- Could we maybe talk after class? L- lunch maybe?" He asked, still looking around to make sure Flash wasn't in the vicinity.

"Okay, lunch, I'm holding you to that Parker, this is important." She nodded, turning away to run to her first class. "Also," She began again, looking back at Peter, "don't tell anyone what I asked you, or else." She added, finally leaving the confused boy to his own.

-----

It felt like a million years before lunch rolled around, (Y/N) currently stood surveying the cafeteria for her resident nerd. She usually sat in her homeroom while she ate to avoid Flash and his goons, so the lunchroom was pretty foreign to her.

She still made it to the table easily, dropping onto the bench next to Peter, making him jump and squeeze the apple in his hand so hard it broke.

"Jeez, do you work out?" She mumbled, "Never seen someone break a fucking apple in half."

Peter laughed awkwardly, quickly wiping his hands off with a napkin while Ned also stared at him wide eyed.

"Anyway, this is Ned, right?" (Y/N) asked, setting her chin in her hand. Ned nodded, "You know my name?" He asked, eyes still wide. "Uhm yeah, why wouldn't I? We're in like three classes together Ned." She laughed.

He laughed a bit too, "We've never talked much, but Peter told me all about your study da-"

"Ned!" Peter interrupted, kicking his friend's shin under the table. Ned gasped, looking at the brunette in mock offense. "Dude, what, you wouldn't stop ta-" Another kick, and another.

Peter cleared his throat, turning to (Y/N), "So uh, Sokovia Accords?"

(Y/N) raised an eyebrow at Ned before looking back at Peter, "Yeah, ever head of em'? No reason, just- curious."

He hummed, "No, I haven't. Sounds like a pea-"

"Hey (Y/N), I have some questions myself actually." Ned interrupted, kicking Peter's shin. Peter gaped at him, about to kick him back before (Y/N) responded, "Sure, what's up?"

"What's Captain America like? How tall is he? Have you held his shield? How much does it weigh? Y'know, heavy, light, weightless? What's Hulk like? How tall is he? Why is he green?" Ned rambled, ignoring Peter's glares.

"She's not your Wikipedia, dude-"

"Hmm, Cap is nice, he's like six foot something. No, I haven't held it, I'm not allowed to touch stuff like that," She rolled her eyes before continuing, "But he carries it like it weighs nothing, but he is really strong so maybe it's really heavy but why would you use something heavy as a weapon if you have to use it often so it's probably not very heavy. Hulk is well, Hulk, he's at least 8 feet tall and I have no idea." (Y/N) rambled, talking with her hands at certain points.

Ned nodded slowly before giving Peter the cheekiest smile he could.

"So, Accords. You think it's a peace treaty too? That's what I thought but it doesn't make sense. There's nothing between America and Sokovia.." She mumbled the last part, looking at Peter expectantly.

"Where'd you hear about this? Sounds pretty serious." Peter asked, wondering why the hell this girl who just started talking to him is spilling government secrets.

"I live with the Avengers Parker, I hear eve- Can he be trusted? Can you be trusted?" (Y/N) suddenly asked, remembering that this is extremely confidential and that she's not even supposed to know about it.

Peter nodded quickly, "Yea- Yeah, Ned won't tell anyone, and neither will I, not like we have anyone to talk to."

"That's what I said!" (Y/N) exclaimed, dropping her fist on the table suddenly. Peter raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything, waiting for her to continue. "You know, we should hang out more often. You guys are chill- actually, wanna come over? We could talk more about this and like study or something." She grinned, looking between the two boys expectantly.

"I- wait- you're inviting us to your- place? Like Stark Tower?!" Ned gasped, Peter kicking him again and (Y/N) waving her hands quickly, "Don't- yell that!" She whisper yelled, looking around to make sure no one heard. "Why wouldn't you want people to know you live with the Avengers?" Ned whispered back, "It's the coolest thing ever!"

"Not everyone thinks it's cool, why do you think no one talks to me Ned?" She asked, still checking for any eavesdroppers. "So, you up for it? It's fine if y-"

"Yes."

"Yes!"

They answered in sync, Peter bouncing his knee nervously.

"You're hanging out with those losers, Stark?"

"MJ! I didn't notice you there, what's up?" (Y/N) smiled at the quiet girl who was at the other end of the table with a book in her hand. They knew each other from detention, (Y/N) ending up there with too many late passes and MJ was there because... The young Stark had no idea, but she was always there.

"Nothing, just watching this rare encounter of the nerds and 'Richie Rich'."

(Y/N) just smiled politely before looking back at the boys. "Just walk around the corner after school, I'll pick you up. Now I gotta go before Flash hunts you guys down, see ya!" She grinned, standing from the table and leaving the cafeteria with not another word.

"Dude, she's awesome! Pinch me, man, pinch me!" Ned exclaimed, trying to get Peter's attention, who was still staring out the door to the lunchroom.

"I know, right?" He mumbled, his chin resting in his hand.

a/n: yall can tell reader has like never had real friends right? just casually walking up to peter and talking to him like theyve know each other for years💀social cues are nowhere to be found

[samarecharm]

Okay everything under the cut is like, something ive (mostly) already had saved in a draft but was too punkass to post but

TL;DR: Akira forms a palace 12-18 months after the events of the base p5 game and it manifests through the anger (fear) of being left behind/tossed aside once his usefulness of being a leader was up. it is incredibly self indulgent, and it is comprised of a ton of hcs ive never really talked about on this blog so some things may feel a bit ooc, but like on god if i actually made a fucking fic it would make more sense 😭

The timeline of events is: base p5 game ->back home after probation -> [akira] spends the summer and third year alone -> palace develops sometime during the end of third year-> thieves infiltrate and clear palace during the beginning of summer -> boy time :) -> spend rest of summer following the plot of p5s. Once i actually play strikers i think that will be the motivation needed to start writing a draft for this fic.  (also good lord i transferred this from my google docs on mobile to desktop and theres so many words 😭 )

Ive wanted to make an actual ‘Akira has a Palace!au’ but it feels like. Nearly impossible to try and do so while making it seem realistic (read: in-character and not horrifically ooc), so i simply have not put it down on paper. But within the last year its morphed into something im Okay with and happy to daydream about :)

it hinges on existing hcs i already have for him. The ability to have a palace is dictated by a noticeable degradation in his personality; post game (ignoring royal) has him left alone back home but more importantly, without purpose (in his eyes). From punching some deadbeat and having that lead to gaining a family, saving japan (shido), saving the world (yaldabaoth), only to lose everything he gained in the blink of an eye is just so jarring to him. Existing in the real world does not even compare to being Joker;  the finesse and grandeur is simply an aspect of himself he feels he'll never tap into again. There was something comforting about being able to have a separate persona crafted for the metaverse and hes not sure hell be able to tap into it in the real world. On top of that, with how busy everyone is post game (graduating/college applications), while Akira acknowledges that the thieves, his family, are trying really hard to continue on with their lives, he is bitter that they get to do that together without him. 

It initially manifests as him simply tinkering about (another hc) to keep his head busy and buzzing, but as he does his own college process, he is more acutely aware of how he is doing this Alone. His entire problem is that being removed from his family has amplified some deep, deep insecurities that hes had way before he got shipped off to tokyo. Its why he is loyal to a fault, its why he demands loyalty in return; all he has to offer is his body. Literally. He promises safety and leadership and in order to accomplish this, he will give his body up again and again; in the metaverse and in real life. If you peel back the layers of his personality, you see someone who has a deeply ingrained sense of justice, and someone who clings to that desperately bc the one thing he feels like he has to do (to have any impact on the world and the people he encounters) is to stand up for and defend people who need defending. If he doesnt have that, what Can he do?

So the combination of being left alone again (sent back home), having a Not Positive relationship with his parents/caretakers, having to do stressful/difficult things alone again after getting comfortable having a team to help with tasks, no longer having the power granted by the metaverse to feel strong, and no longer having the power of the metaverse to allow him to directly impact peoples lives starts to wear him down. HONESTLY it would be over a year before anyone saw the metaverse app appear on their phone again; Akira would be bitter but he would not suddenly spiral out of control months after he goes back home. His friends still call and video chat with him and even ryuji and ann visit a couple of times, but it would be months and months of radio silence before it would sit heavy in his heart that maybe they Didnt want to be bother with him, esp if he had no way to actually be Useful to them. It would sound outlandish to him as hes laughing in a group call w everyone a month after he comes back home, but its alot more plausible when people are simply dubbing his calls. 

The whole point of this is that Akiras palace is created from the insecurities in his heart, amplified to a thousand, and so the theme of his palace would be something akin to neglect and Wanting To Have His Family With Him Again. But he is also someone who has an obsession with the bonds he has, and NEEDS to have people who will have a borderline unhealthy relationship with him; if he is willing to die for someone, that someone needs to Also be willing to die for him. He would not Want them to actually die for him (he LITERALLY would die for them before they could do such a thing) but it is the trust in him that he needs above all else. And this is not a GOOD thing! This is kind of bad maybe !!!! It manifested as something good while they were fighting rulers, but now that theres no one to fight, no treasures to steal, its eating him alive. Theres a phase in his boss fight that has his shadow casting Charm/Brainwash on random teammates bc at his core, this is what he misses; his team! And if they wont willingly come back to him, he will Make them come back to him. Thats !!!!! NOT Good !!!!!!!! At all !!!

His palace is the culmination of his internalized beliefs about the world around him, how his role fits into all of this- his true ‘purpose’- and how becoming misguided in life leaves him truly directionless in the worst way possible. His will is as strong as ever, but its been refracted through a dark and muddled lens. He Wants, and he Wants so bad that its warping his desires and his ability to think rationally. The destruction of his palace is more or a less a rebirth of sorts, and it marks the beginning of the thieves real relationship with him and amongst each other. Akira is no longer a Leader, hes just… Akira. And when u just have Akira, does that alter the relationship you have with him? (The answer is yes, and its for the better!!)

The confrontation w the thieves (and subsequently, the confrontation with his own insecurities) is followed up by a necessary respite, where they all take the time to reconnect. Makoto and Haru are in college!! Ann and Yusuke are doing well in their respective budding careers, Ryuji is Ryuji :) ( i am joking; in this au, he is looking into doing personal trainer stuff, and trying to work up the courage to do track stuff again by doing marathons), and Futaba is still a menace (affectionate). AND! After they split up (PROMISING to meet up soon!), Akira answers the door two days later to Ryuji standing there w a suitcase and Makoto waving goodbye to the two of them 

From here on, when the plot of strikers happens (directly after this entire mess and maybe a week or two into ryujis stay), Akira is the leader he loves to be, but the burden of responsibility no longer weighs heavy on his shoulders. They are a team; always have been and always will be, only now, they wont settle for an ‘its okay’ when everything about Akira clearly says otherwise. Theyre a team, and Akira will realize that they are more than capable, but more importantly, more than willing to step up when hes unable to do so himself.

[seldaryne]

haven't finished the durge pt yet (idc about spoiling anything though that has 0 impact on me enjoying the game fdgh) but i've been thinking Thoughts.

edit okay as i was writing this i went ahead and just read up on the backstory so i could continue my thoughts in a coherent manner lmfao

(lots of info here, apparently ive gotten Very attached to her in the last uh. three weeks give or take. kinda sorta chronological?? idk it makes sense to me lmao)

--

velrith probably definitely only settled on that name in act 2. prior that she was just called whatever people drifted to if they needed her attention. & she didn't really care, having a void for memories will do that to a bitch, but it can make introductions awkward or give them a weird 'im too good to even give you my identity' energy. not super great when paired with someone who doesn't really emote or put a ton of effort into masking tonal inflections. she pointedly allowed other people to do more of the talking as a result for a while & would get roped into conversations that way.

i'd like to go ahead and tie in astarion's frequent use of pet names here to this too. he's got a goal here, and can't just drop a 'hey you' every time he's angling for something. it's easier to fill in the blanks that way & make sure it doesn't come across as cold and calculated as the seduction actually is for a time. of course, the mental gymnastics weren't necessary here. aside from the fact that she's extremely intense about her oath & therefore is legally obligated to send cazador straight to hell on sight, he'd also have the same luck with a low-effort, straightforward 'do you want to have sex?' the lines are... usually fine, never actually crossing boundaries, but she does find a lot of them to be really goddamn weird & unnecessary when the point could be made in less than 10 words.

picture a distraught-looking sighthound & you have the general idea of the face she makes when he lays it on thick. she's giving her best shot at a socially appropriate expression. it's not working.

also on names, she can't say for sure if that's who she was before or if she just pieced together syllables that sounded like Something from memory. again, doesn't really matter either way, since she's not in any hurry to reclaim her former self. it's fine.

ketheric felt straightforward. a tragic figure who she did extend an olive branch towards, but ultimately felt nothing when it came time to bring her blade down (besides, isobel seemed like she knew what she was talking about when velrith confessed [suddenly coming back into her room just to point-blank tell her about the desire to spill her blood] certain thoughts of violence towards the cleric, and it felt like the sort of assurance she should be trusting, right? more than any of her own emotions, anyway.)

gortash gives her the ick. like, there's no other way to describe that one. he actually probably still would even without all the history (and the fact that he needed to repent for what he'd done to karlach), but the slimy over-familiarity was really the nail in the coffin there. velrith isn't smooth nor particularly socially gifted, but she has a certain air of formal pride she carries herself with. acting like you know her better than she does herself (even if it may very well be the truth!) is so beyond an overstep of what she's able to function with. stripping away everything else, if he even tried to touch her casually on the shoulder, he would have been liable to lose that hand.

orin troubles her. for the obvious reasons, but she also just... pities her. almost. pre-tadpole, velrith was honestly relatively similar compared to her current personality. colder and more able to justify slaughter, sure, but still staunchly refusing to compromise her own feelings for social games. she understood how the game pieces moved when she watched other people, even when she was younger, but if asked to copy the same techniques, she was only ever able to bludgeon straight through in a line. consequently, people don't really care how strange you are if you're just that good at your job. orin made a one-sided rivalry out of someone who otherwise just regarded her as a peer in the same arena, and now sees her as someone who wouldn't have been able to take the chance at redemption even if it had been on the table. she was too far gone, unable to stand on her own or cope with the fact that she would always be lesser than someone who genuinely could not have cared less about standings. maybe if velrith had feigned some interest, there wouldn't have been so much hatred. or maybe there would have.

either way, she sees orin in a depressing light. someone who had nothing and no one but the prospect of power, and who crumbled as soon as that chance at power was taken away. to let her live would have been to co-sign on her projecting those emotions outwards. velrith isn't stupid and knows there's a good chance she might have gone the same way if she hadn't been lucky enough to receive her parasite. in another life, she thinks that maybe she could have found a connection, and they might have saved each other (either genuinely or in a twisted version of the word). this isn't a thought she shares with anyone. she thinks about that death and their interactions for a long time afterwards.

her 'normal' childhood sometimes comes to her in fleeting memories that disappear out of her periphery if she focuses too hard. she thinks she liked her parents, and they seemed like nice people from what she can semi-recall. but she can also tell that there's always just been something wrong with her if she compares herself to other people. many of these snippets feature her looking anywhere but at her parents' faces, unable to express herself verbally in a way they could understand (the words were right, they way she used them was... her own, shall we say?). something flipped at some point, and all of the sudden she would stare too much at them, not blinking or looking away at the right moments. they'd seemed to squirm a bit under this. they always seemed a bit sad when they looked at her, as if they'd loved her but she was never quite as they hoped she would be.

she had to be taught what to do during a hug as an older child instead of leaving her arms limp at her sides. she knows that.

she doesn't remember killing them. she doesn't remember how it would have felt to receive her first order or how she was unable to do anything but listen to the violent urges.

there's more guilt for not feeling much towards them than there is for the killing.

the staring hasn't shifted again. she knows she looks at people too hard and/or too long, looks at them dead in the eyes and studies their faces, but she can't help it. one, it's good to be aware and alert. two, looking away doesn't seem to be the answer either. at least this way they know she's paying attention, right?

she thinks she shouldn't care about these things, that it's so ridiculous coming from her blood-soaked past, laughable that she'd wonder what it meant to have people relax in your presence instead of becoming more visibly anxious. but she wants to be good, she really, really does. she wants to be able to join a group like everyone else, slipping seamlessly into their words and laughing how they laugh instead of her own (the faintest of smiles and a soft rush of air running past her lips, blink-and-you'll-miss-it laughter that may as well not exist outside of her head). she doesn't hate herself for these things, because she doesn't know how else to be, but she does wonder. she wants to know what it's like for these things to be easy. bhaal's favourite hadn't been blessed with charisma, apparently.

consequently, she has a very hard time now figuring out how to actually connect with anyone, or what it should feel like to have friends.

it made her somewhat uncomfortable in the beginning to be asked questions by these people on a regular basis. not even personal questions, just things to signal that she existed to them in some capacity. gale remembers when she'd wrinkled her nose at a certain seasoning, and leaves it off her plate when he makes dinner going forward. lae'zel likes how she fights and asks her questions on technique, asking to spar so she could better understand the answers. shadowheart thinks they're alike with similar holes in their memories, and seeks out her company because of it. she doesn't understand, and for a while she even feels a bit suffocated by it. exposure therapy is really the only remedy here.

initially there are some reasonable assumptions on whether she just dislikes them all that much, or if she thinks she's better than them, or some other nasty reason. it takes approximately two conversations with her for everyone to understand that's not the case. it's like speaking to someone who only every studied social behaviour from an incomplete textbook and was visibly struggling to fill in the gaps in real-time. is she scary? yes, a bit. does she stare at you Way too much when you're speaking to her (at her, really, because you will be carrying that conversation until she's gotten her footing)? also yes. but she's really earnestly trying to sort herself out for the sake of the people around her, brain twisting around itself to learn things that were as easy as breathing to most. and it's sort of sweet, in its own way.

over time, she stops simply caring about these people based on her code of ethics. she starts to remember things about them too, her love language starts to show itself through gift-giving at an absolutely glacial pace, but it's noticeable to literally everyone despite that. a small trinket picked up at the market matching shadowheart's usual taste is pressed into her hand with only a nod before velrith is turning on her heel and almost running away. a tome is thrust at wyll with such startling intensity that the kindness actually comes off as a bit of a threat, but she looks visibly relieved when he takes it with a smile. so on and so forth. every incident like this, every blunt display of 'i notice you. i think you would like this. i thought of you today,' is accompanied by a hasty exit. task accomplished, but now the script has run out, so she's doing the same. she also finds it hard to look at people once the exchange has taken place, and is pretty sure this is an affliction only she suffers from.

she's going to push through it anyway, even if it makes her skin feel like its trying to recoil off her bones.

it also comes out in the protection. again, it's expected as a paladin of devotion, but no one is quite prepared for the molten fury that burns in her eyes or the weight of her voice whenever ghosts from the past arise. not only has she sworn her protection to those suffering from harm (and names like orin, gortash, cazador, viconia & more absolutely qualify as those who cause harm), but it feels personal. acting as shield and guillotine is when velrith is truly in her element, standing tall and embodying the virtues laid out in her tenets.

she is fighting internally just as much as externally, pushing back against base instincts to continue her sworn oath. driving her sword through the flesh of the emperor is just as much about defeating him as it is proving to herself that she is still capable of goodness. if she falls here, she can at least die knowing she was dedicated to rebellion until her very last breath.

this does not mean that she actually registers it when people like her, though. in fact, once she pieces together what her true nature is (she hadn't wanted to kick that poor animal, or make a spectacle of that nice bard's corpse, or try to rip out astarion's throat as he slept--but she had done those things, and more, and what's worse, some of them don't even to her like they would anyone else) she's pretty sure that the unanimous, logical choice would be to put her at a distance.

so she braces, prepares, makes peace with returning to the status quo & starts pulling away before staging her little ted talk. jaheira catches her first, though, and it gets to her. she's not spoken much to the woman, but she's... incredibly understanding, actually. so much so that it leaves velrith with a profound ache in her chest when she rolls over and tries to sleep again (jaheira's insistence, and her promise to stand watch all night in case she lost control again). being around jaheira hurts like hell, but she still seeks her out after that incident. she looks at her kindly but doesn't treat her with any more fragility than before. she's good-humoured when answering question after question about bhaalspawn, and stays honest the whole time too. she seeks her out when she isolates as much as she can on the outside of camp, dropping a sack of potatoes at velrith's feet and sitting beside her so that they can peel them in easy silence.

she likes that the most. sometimes it feels like velrith's head is too full; not from the parasite or the echoes of a murderous god, but from--she's not sure, actually, but it makes thinking hard, and speech tends to take a temporary leave as well. no amount of coaxing makes a difference, it'll return when it decides to. that's the bad sort of silence, the type that other people feel like they should fix so that everyone can be comfortable again. except jaheira, who apparently can figure out what she needs before velrith can even process that question. and sometimes, she just needs to peel some potatoes for a bit.

standing before everyone else, she prepares for the logical choice of rejection again. instead, she's greeted with shrugs, support, sympathy, but overall--not much of a change. that's the part that sends her off, only pausing just long enough to take a breath before excusing herself to the surrounding woods. it hurts so damn much, being loved like this. she wonders if any technicalities in her oath actually require her to slay herself at this point, just based on the implications alone. they should be appalled. fearful. cold. and she'd wound herself up so much inside determining this to already be the only end to her confession. bare your soul, lose what you'd only started to ease into, return to your duty.

the other shoe never does drop, though. it's gone so catastrophically well that she can't even make the tears flow properly (she's only done it once before that she remembers, but that should be adequate). instead, her sobs are muffled gasps against her hands, choking on her own confusion as she sinks to the ground, shaking.

of course, this comes out after the "incident", in the underdark, which means astarion has already seen her cry precisely once of something that seemed to her a similar scale. he's got a better handle on it, he'd like to believe, and he can sense that he's being silently volunteered for the 'fetch our bhaalspawn' quest. she's not hard to find either, an ice-white tiefling amongst the greenery with her head hidden in her arms, folded in on herself like she's not worth the weight of her own bones. it's sad, and a little annoying, actually, because if she was to insist that he possessed worth like it was the most obvious fact in the world, like he was strange for not feeling the same way, why shouldn't that same sentiment extend in her direction.

of course, there's little he can say to soothe in a way that matters, he's not going to make that mistake again, but he's at least able to bring her up for air. yes my love, perhaps it is foolish and unwise for any of us to stay around something so dangerous, but that argument can be made in many directions, not just yours. you would be the first among us to dismiss those very notions if they were coming from someone else, and have done so--multiple times, may i add--as bhaalspawn. if there's upset about the reveal, i'm confident that it's more to do with how you feel than anything else.

and really, what's she supposed to do with that aside from break even more (from relief, maybe? tension and fear of rejection that she hadn't known how to recognize, hadn't known she was holding onto? the understanding that this is not just from him, but on behalf of everyone else too?) and crumble into him.

against all odds, she is worthy of loving. despite her bloodline and her personal shortcomings, she is worthy of that much.

nothing in half-measures, as most paladins tend to be. does she remember when or why or even how she took the oath? not even a bit. but it's the only thing in her head when she wakes up on the mind flayer ship, the sole thing she's sure of, the only guiding direction she has. it should be enough to understand right and wrong, but it isn't for her. following the oath is a choice, something she can steady herself on when nothing else makes sense. devotion to her cause of protection, restoring some of the balance in the world that she lost before orin killed her. maybe that was why she lived; something needed her to right some of her sins before death arrived. or maybe a divine power was looking for someone who wouldn't be missed if they were lost in stopping the ithilids.

whatever it is, she does everything in her power to stick to it. until, of course, life happens (as it tends to) and she does something in the underdark. what did she do? she doesn't know, because she thought she was helping--that myconid was going to betray the colony that took him in when he lost all others. she raised her sword when it was clear a scolding wouldn't change his mind. and then... the sinking feeling that something was wrong.

something was missing. the only part of her that felt like it was anything was gone, and for the first time (maybe ever?) she gets emotional. there's no anchor anymore, no calming guide of tenets to follow.

the oathbreaker knight will find her later, she knows. at camp, she's distraught, and the little bit she dared interact goes out the window entirely. there's nothing anyone could actually say that would help, anyway. this does not stop astarion from trying.

glib as ever, were she in a more normal headspace she would have seen the dismissive comment for the hand-waving attempt at comfort it was. he probably knows there's nothing he can actually say to bring her down, but surely a joke (meant to reassure that she would be fine regardless, whether the oath stayed broken or was re-taken, she was competent on the field and he at least trusted her that much) would be alright?

it was not.

for all that he carried, he could not--did not--understand. of course he could be cavalier about it; despite all that was taken from him, he still had his own gods-damned name. he knew who he was, wasn't scrambling to put together fragments of his own ghost just to make some unimpressive small talk like she was. she has not yet chosen her name at this point, and that oath is where she begins & ends as a person.

he's silent when she snaps, unexpected. like a cornered animal about to tear its own leg out of a trap, daring anyone to come closer to 'help' so that they too can be maimed. a total loss for words, even when she stalks off to keep herself from acting out even further (who knows how prone she would be to violence now? not her!), raising her voice for the first time at him in pure grief.

he doesn't really get it, but he understand more in the middle of all that. the pieces click together in his mind, working themselves out during the berating. the gods never answered his cries, and so his outlook remained fairly bleak on the whole pantheon. paladins occupied a space at the opposite end of the spectrum, and he'd assumed that her more uptight habits were an offshoot from that (it's not like she gave him a ton to work with, either. he did his best from what he was allowed to see). for her, there may as well have been no gods involved in any capacity. it was simply the thing that kept her from fracturing entirely, now gone thanks to a misunderstood line in the agreement.

she still refuses to speak to him, even after she's begged for the oath back--she'll be good this time, really, she'll be good, she promises, it won't happen again, please--and received it successfully. she's not talking much to anyone, feeling both too exhausted and over-sensitive to even contemplate that. his apology isn't... good, exactly. but it's honest and that's really all she gives a shit about. things are still weird and cold for a bit, manifesting in a physical distance & reinforcing just how off his initial read on her was. but it's her first real brush with interpersonal conflict, so learning curves are expected. time and circumstance eventually help things settle, with there being bigger things to worry about.

she's quiet during sex. responsive and hyper-aware of her body, definitely, but still restrained. she enjoys the act, however, despite the lack of volume, and this shows through a readiness to explore and feel things. the ability to feel physical pleasure is something that at least seems to be something she has in common with most people. but she's overly permissive too, sometimes uncomfortably so; she's simply not attached enough to her body to have real concerns or strong preferences. at first glance, this seems to be deference, the need to be agreeable in every situation lest she tip the scales too much in her own direction.

he puts his finger on that after the third encounter, and finds himself taking a break from her for a while after as a result (once again, an act that she's absolutely fine with--god, has the thought of challenging him ever even crossed her mind in this department?). Further observation, however, reveals something else. her actions are exploratory. experimental. there's no frame of reference, she needs to establish preferences all over again for this version of herself. in fact, he sees that this extends to other tasks people ask of her as well. every action or accompaniment is met with the same reserved curiosity, considering what's being asked of her before ultimately deciding to try something new. perhaps that was why he felt like he was being intensely studied if he squints.

there's no doubt that she does see him. but she only sees enough to know that she lacks the connections to actually do anything with that. an unbalanced, vexing sort of safety net. (still, there was probably no one better for him to glue himself to than a paladin, and he tells himself that's why he spends so long trying to figure her out. because surely, her motivations can't be as obviously honest as they come across--can they?)

it's only after she tells him on the name she's privately decided to give herself (private for now, since everyone else will be informed in the morning) that he starts to realize just how much he enjoys kissing her. she's not nearly as practiced as he is, but gods, there's such a single-mindedness to the kisses it actually leaves him dizzy. her focus is so all-encompassing, the world around them may as well have been unravelling at its seams and she still wouldn't break contact. chasing pleasure but holding back just enough to keep her head above the water, prolonging the act as much as she can. he's been kissed before. many times, actually, but not like this.

there is... so much disappointment when rejecting bhaal doesn't actually change anything fundamental in her. on one hand, that really does mean that it's been her personality the entire time. that the good choices she made were hers, and they were worth fighting for.

on the other hand, fostering even that small seed of hope that she might become less of herself and more like other people had been a dangerous game. the distance remains, along with the lack of understanding and knowledge that some things would always be more hard-won for her, while others would simply be entirely beyond her reach. knowing this logically is one thing. accepting it is... entirely different. it will take time, and she will at least allow herself as much so as to properly grieve a version of herself whose body knew how to laugh freely.

she'll be okay.

[exitwound]

hi zoe i love ur blog and opinions. u always have just amazing analysis and like. general ideas that just are mindblowing. and i was wondering if you're often inspired by art and stuff around you that helps you come to your thoughts? asking because honestly i always feel like im stealing and plagiarizing other people's ideas and thoughts when im inspired by someone's work to create my own - like my tone or style is too similar, or my words are practically the same. and it feels awful because im like is this even inspired or am i literally just stealing? it feels like i can't ever create work with my own thoughts and idk what to do with that. sorry i know that was like a ton of info feel free to ignore

wow omg thank you. this is crazy to hear because i would personally say that the last time i had an idea it was about dean winchester. but for sure those ideas would really really have not had been posts if i didn’t see other ideas and stretch them to a new location on the media body. but thank you.Ummm i would say that it’s difficult to tell when i have a thought where it came from except when it’s not and know exactly where it came from. but definitely i don’t live in a vacuum and i am always always always always always very inspired by everything and by art and art and art and art and other peoples analyses and ideas about art and and and and and. and honestly i think that originality of ideas is a little bit nothing i think that the meaning is mostly in the expression of the idea bc like most art is a pretty simple idea but it’s done welll it commits to the idea and it trusts you to be blown away. slightly unrelatedly I think there is enormous value in intentionally attempting forgeries of others work although of course for this you wouldn’t pass it off as your own. Back to being related i think generally it’s more difficult to actually plagiarize on accident than you might fear. sometimes i worry im writing something i just forgot i read but there was kind of nothing i could do about that worry so i decided to move on and anyway if i forgot i read it then i definitely forgot the context so im already doing something new with it. i find that when i consume a lot of one type of writing for example like if im doing an english paper i sometimes slip into writing in the same style of the book im doing a paper on without realizing. Maybe a solution to feeling stuck in copying a style is to just get it out of you like new document and purge it just keep copying until you’ve run out of recombinations based on this source material and then you begin to scratch at the surface of the thing you were submerged in and break into the new yourself that swallowed a source like a spider and uses its thread to make a new web but it’s not your thread but it’s your web. I think that tends to happen to me in a way when I have an obsession on an idea i first encountered expressed in art and then began trying to re-express it myself. Which is super normal and most art is the re-expression of other expressions for sure. i don’t know i guess i used to be very terrified of plagiariaztipn in my poetry and then i started reading poems and i would find lines in things i had never read before that were very similar to things i had written already and i started realize you will be copying something whether youve seen it already or not so thats that and not really because of this and more because of fractals but definitely relevant to this is i started to make a belief system that the wider your lens the more infinitely small the number of things and all you can do is try to say something that in all of history has never been uttered but means something that everyone who ever lived has felt you know. i hope this helps definitely most of my thoughts are not my own but once i think them they’re mine and immediately being recontextualized with the other thoughts and the new environment if that makes sense… it comes from where it comes from . sorry if this isn’t helpful but i hope it is much love sending reassurance and confidence xxxx🪰🫙🥣🔌📡🪆🪣

[elleseekswritingpartners]

searching for Jujutsu Kaisen writing partners (updated, never expires)

MDNI. Elle. 20+. GMT. discord/tumblr/docs. I'm a long-term roleplayer and I will literally send you memes and HCs and create Pinterest boards and google docs one hour after we start talking because I'm both stupid and unhinged.

i'm show-based and not too stressed about keeping things canon. i honestly don't even understand half of the lore, so if you want to get technical / heavily explore worldbuilding and lore i'm not your girl lmfao i just love the concept of jjk and characters and i don't feel inclined to dive deeper than that - but i do want plots in the jjk word, not aus.

what i want to write:

satoru gojo* x utahime lori satoru gojo* x f!oc megumi fushiguro* x f!oc or nobara kento nanami x f!oc* kento nanami x shoko leiri shoko leiri x m!oc hiromi higuruma x f!oc hiromi higuruma x shoko leiri (idk how but i think it'd be interesting) toji fushiguro x f!oc

im also open to: suguru geto x shoko leiri suguru geto x f!oc

suguru geto x satoru gojo but only if you're a chill person. i love the dynamic and would like to give it a go, but i'm not comfortable writing popular ships and i don't want to stress myself.

[more abt me + rules under the cut, for accessibility reasons]

about me + rules:

i'm 25+ years old. i only want to interact with people who are 20+. this is non negotiable. i enjoy the occasional nsfw hc and drabble but i don't expect to write a lot of smut, i just don't want to write with people who are underaged.

i have 15 years of writing experience, however, it's ok to me if you're new to roleplaying - we all start somewhere.

i don’t have trigger warnings and enjoy writing potentially triggering topics like manipulation and memory loss etc, but lets always be respectful.

i love to plot and brainstorm. if you tell me "whatever works for you" "i can do whatever you want" and give me nothing to work with, i'll stop replying.

i usually write 3 or 4 solid paragraphs but i don't care about the length of your replies as long as you give me stuff to work with. i think writing extremely lengthy replies can actually be a disservice to certain scenes because you end up with a ton of paragraphs each focusing on its own thing and it gets confusing. i don't know why people equate length with quality. keeping things short is good sometimes.

for me, ships are the priority, brotps are the VERY welcome bonus.

i'm NOT interested in only having one plot/ship with my writing partner.

i actually enjoy writing both men and women and i expect my partners to as well. it's blatant when someone is forcing themselves to write a character they don't want to write. pls don't put me through this lol, if you do i'll stop replying.

my philosophy is to look at the world that is provided to us and turning it into our playground, changing things however we see fit. if you care intensely about keeping things canon and getting every detail about events and character’s personalities right, we won’t be compatible.

it’s important to me to approach plots and characters with realism (if you’re someone who doesn’t look forward to the possible character growth/development coming from the disagreements in a ship, i’m not your girl), but i WILL conjugate that realism with more gringy elements (like love triangles, pinning, and accidental pregnancies) because i believe life is too short to completely deprive ourselves from it.

i’ve a very devoted roleplay partner. i know life gets busy but i’m someone who loves to share hcs and brainstorm and make pinterest boards. i don’t expect fast replies but unless my partner lets me know they’re going to be inactive, if i don’t have any sort of interaction with them for over a week (this can be something as simple as pinning something to our pinterest boards), i do feel a bit like shit.

ty for reading!! don't forget to say hi if you're interested. ✨

[deadlysoupy]

I’m curious, what are your unpopular opinions about tmnt 🔥 and writing 🔥

hi dude!!! im surprised to see you in my askbox and honestly very flattered 😳😳😳😳

for tmnt: while i sometimes come out as someone who dislikes rise, i think it's very fun and enjoyable. it explored new ideas, gave a lot of edge to old characters and created new ones who are in my heart forever (Draxum gets too much hate imo)

but i feel like people give it too much credit. it's not my place to criticize it, but i really think it has some major turn-downs (at least for me). when the show aired, i thought of it as a little silly time, when i can just watch a purely fun show about ninja turtles without plot-heavy storylines like we had in the past. i was also delighted when there wasn't a trace of Leo and Raph conflict we had in every iteration. it was like a breath of fresh air, i was enjoying it. but the pacing changed and it became serious. while i don't think it was too weird, it still felt jarring, i didn't know what the show wanted to be anymore. the second season is a doozy, which is understandable and it's a real shame we didn't get those filler episodes that would flesh out the characters more.

and the rise movie. man. it gets some things just right and some things wrong. and again we get that Leo and Raph fight about being a leader. Leo gets too much attention, both in the show and in the movie. it's really getting on my nerves.

one thing i applaud rise for is giving Mikey that edge people need to see more - his personalities, to be precise. i feel like we kinda forget that Mikey should be a bit insane, and rise, thank god, sees it as an opportunity to show him unhinged a lot of times. not enough, in my opinion, and his character got a little too soft when the movie came out, but the effort was there and i'm really grateful for that. it's why i love 2003 Mikey with all of me - he's fucking bonkers, has no filter, and will cause mayhem just to see something explode. i really hope MM Mikey will be like that, too, thought i don't have high hopes. he still looks fun tho

little side-notes: i hate hair on turtles (ew) and most of rise fandom is toxic (can't go into this bc i'm afraid people will shit on me)

for writing: writing is a chore. like, really. writers say a lot of times that they want to see words on their google docs magically appear without them having to write anything, and i completely agree. as a writer who majorly writes in their second language (thus i have difficulty writing in my native one (don't ask me how that works, i don't know either)) i hate actually writing words. i've been doing this as a hobby for about four years and i still have no idea what my style is and how to not sound like a moron or a ten year old. i look back on my writing and see a child, not an adult who studied english for most of their life. hell, i'm getting my eng major (sort of) and getting ready for international english exams and i still sound like a baby with images in head but no words to describe them. it sucks.

i enjoy storytelling a ton, but no matter how much everyone will say to you "you shouldn't worry too much about words, this is a story only you can tell, if you have a story you should share it!" it doesn't work that way. you need to be able to both feel a story and be able to tell it, and if you can't find the right words that punch people in their hearts, it won't do that well. so maybe some people who are full of imagination and stories to tell simply aren't destined to become writers. this is either a harsh truth or me just being a pessimist, idk

and i think that's it! i dunno if these are unpopular or not but they've been on my mind for a while so yeah. thank you sm for this ask!!!!!!

[the-kipsabian]

for the fanfic asks: 1, 8, 13, 20, 23, 25, 29, 43, 46, 72, 79 💚

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike? most fics come to me in forms of dreaming while im trying to sleep, so yes. the one good thing about insomnia currently is that i get to rotate so many blorbos and scenarios in my head that i have a lot of content to write lol

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip. i have like. one current wip in docs that i might work on again at some point so here. technically its not a spoiler since its the whole premise of the fic buuuut

13. Do you listen to music while you write?  If yes, what have you been listening to recently? pretty much always? i focus better when i have matching vibes, unless im having a sensory moment but usually then i cant really write either honestly. "puppet master" is my current playlist on loop, its just my two kip playlists combined into one to fit the mood of immortal fears lol

20. Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics? pretty much all my stuff in canon divergent on some level honestly, so i guess aus? not in a very obvious sense of aus but yeah. tho i do love me some extra sad aus too, post apocalyptic aus my beloved.....

23. Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest? middle part is the easiest, ending is the hardest cause i either never know when to end a story or how to end a story like. i want to have that final impact and sometimes its so hard to pinpoint where that should be. middle is just a good flow usually if i get that far and thats where all the good ideas usually happen so its my favorite <3

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)? probably the writing itself. like i can have a shit ton of good, even great ideas while brainstorming or outlining things, but usually the biggest things happen while im actually putting the words down. i really enjoy it when the story just flows and how it comes together. also i have discovered i absolutely loathe the editing part LOL

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of? personally i think i can bring emotions to life really well. be it happy or sad (mostly sad tho i love my sad depressed uncomfortable bitches), i feel like i have the words for them that fit

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet? hmmmmm i dont really know? i mean i have plenty of ideas sitting in my drafts and in my brain and stuff, but i dont really think i have a lot that i absolutely NEED to write. maybe that one bunnelope fic i wanted to do about a love potion gone wrong cause girls need to be gay or something

46. If you could only write one type of AU for the rest of your life, what would it be? once again - post apocalyptic au my beloved. anything that takes place "after the world ends" in one way or another is my shit. gimme all the post apocalyptic hell i crave for

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten? basically every time someone says i nailed a character im writing for the first time. cause i take a lot of pride and put in the effort to try to give them each their own voice and i study my materials and yeah. ..hence also why im so hesitant so often to write about new people cause i am a perfectionist when it comes to characterization especially ajksdnkjasd

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share? this we discovered last week to be a really functional advice so: if you dont know how to start writing a scene, put someone in a room. make them enter a space, and start from there - why are they there, who else is there, what is their purpose in that space, what is that space?

also first drafts dont need to be perfect, everything can be edited in post, even after you post the thing if youre planning on doing so. hell some published novels have typos in them, let alone nonsensical writing and storylines. you dont need to be perfect, as long as you are writing

and obviously you are your own audience first and foremost. write for yourself yo fuck the rest (unless the rest are into it too then thats great but you should still write for yourself first and consider everything else second lol)

fanfic writing asks ~

[clemencetaught]

get to know the author!

name : ferre

pronouns :  they/them

preference of communication : discord, but i can do tumblr ims. honestly, i’m slow on both but i’m a tad quicker to get back to ppl on discord….although again, these days i prefer to keep my discord to solely those whom i feel ooc wise comfortable around!

most active muse :  this guy ( patrick ) clawed his way into single muse blog status with the number of times he gave me brainrot on my multimuse so i’d say it’s probably patrick :’D

experience / how many years :  like about on-and-off for about 8 years? i did do a little bit back in 2013 in quizilla ims which was my introduction to rp before i started formally on tumblr in 2015….that being said i was on-and-off for about the first three years until in 2018 when i made calum- he was the first muse of mine that actually like, stuck :’D that being said, i did also take like a year hiatus in 2020 before coming back in 2021 so uh….eight years might not be the most accurate number jfksdljfkl

best experience : this attempt so far?? Has been so wonderful and i wouldn’t change any of what has happened for the world- my mutuals and writing partners are so skilled and friendly and patient and LITERALLY some of their muses have managed to elicit responses and character development from my muses that i would have NEVER imagined :’D but if we have to go specific….maybe it’s the hunger games au verse i dragged some ppl into?? the plotting and characters they have come up with is PHENOMENAL and wow, i’m gonna stuck to them all like super glue for 5ever &lt;3

rp pet peeves : so many! my biggest ones, however, are self-centered and inconsiderate partners: those who disregard my rules, those who talk only about their own muses in every thread and plotting interaction, those who only seem to take interest in my blog(s) when it involves receiving writing from me. That and blogs that follow first but never make a move/any indication of interest, not even a like on my posts….no offense, but i’m not chasing after you. Other pet peeves include facechasing, trauma dumping ( ooc and ic ), and drama. oh, and partners who just don’t?? Respond to my attempts at some kind of ooc interaction- it can even be in tags, but if you’re not saying anything then that kills my enthusiasm very quickly.

fluff, angst, or smut : see, i want character development and exploration in my threads so i don’t think it’s fair to split up threads into these categories bc if done with intention, you can learn something new about your muse and your partner’s muse in any thread ( and yes, that includes the crack threads- DON’T UNDERESTIMATE ME :D ) i will say though, smut is highly unlikely here just bc patrick is demisexual + it’s gonna take like 2839402384098 years for him and hyuk to look at and act on each other in that manner :’D

plots or memes : plotting <3 but memes are good for starting off plotted dynamics tho!! most times, however, i’m not a fan of first meetings either. I like to have some kind of dynamic/backstory to go off of and would rather not overstep any boundaries so you’re not really a plotter… we might not be a good match. 

long or short replies : see, patrick is a literature professor. for someone softspoken and reserved, he has a TON of thoughts and opinions so whenever i do try to keep things short and sweet, he bucks against it and will give me at least three paragraphs….over 1000 words too. we’re very ( not ) sorry :’D

time to write : depends on what’s happening at work and what my mood is. I do try to do my writing in the afternoon/morning though as most days i feel like i haven’t done anything productive/meaningful until i’ve written at least something.

are you like your muses : hahahaha, nah. I mean, we do have similar interests ( ie. literature and working in higher ed ), but personality-wise he’s much more stiff and erudite than me :’D i will say i think all characters we write do have pieces of ourselves in them, otherwise they’d never be able to grow, but for the most part, no i don’t think i’m really like patrick <3 at the very least, i'm not nearly as repressed as him fjskdlfjsl

tagged by: @wynterlanding ( thank you so much ♡ )

tagging: take it if you would like!! i'm would be curious to see how you describe your own rp style :3

[dancingisdangerouss]

I wasn't going to say anything because honestly I find conflict really overwhelming. This is a situation very similar to when artists say "this person is ripping off my art style", etc. If the person took entire paragraphs and pasted them into their fic I could understand why you would feel nervous. However most of the proof you listed (which i did read, as well as writing from yours and theirs) and it comes across completely different. Another argument you had was similar set ups and whatever. First of all its The Grabber, and a kidnapper fic. Where do you expect it to be extremely different? It's taking place in his house with a character who is set up a certain way. The lying thing is a character trait of his. The interaction, the need to punish the reader etc, that's all things he's shown as being capable of doing. Also the list of words you supplied i am genuinely stunned that you're gatekeeping so many words? They are words, again like if they copied your entire work thats one thing. You have also said numerous times you're irritated about not getting enough interaction on ur fics and its like ??? i can understand feeling jealous but going out of your way to dig through someones entire writing style and then say 'you ripped me off' when there is no proof. im sorry, words don't count. people use similar words i have read tons of fics containing all those words you put out there. especially keen and jarring, super common, sorry. You should honestly not have posted that callout post, being irritated and jealous is one thing but you went out of your way to try and tell people youre being ripped off when in reality , if anything there is a chance they couldve read your work and been inspired or even just happened to write similarly. people write similar all the time especially in 1st pov fanfics with the SAME character. this witch hunt is ridiculous and shame on all these people who are agreeing with you over writing. Cuz at the end of the day it is writing and meant for fun. youre jealous and i understand it but like, make a vague post and leave it at that, ask people to interact more, dont start accusing another human being of being a thief when you can't steal writing styles, dude. honestly this is so pitiful lol.

I’m beginning to think y’all the same person. Because you STILL ignored the exact lines stolen. How about you do what I did and give some real evidence to back it up? Just saying “no you’re wrong” isn’t a solid argument.

[carmybearzattos]

ok forgive me if this is sooo loony coo coo crazy to say but as someone who generally writes for the bear with a more "negative" slant on carmy's mom and i fear the originator of such takes i just wanted to say that like even if you do take for canon that she may have been in some instances verbally abusive to carmy for whatever reason i dont think it makes her a totally abusive person ! and i worry sometimes that's what people take from a post or a fic so i just wanted to say like i think there's a ton of room for nuance and forgiveness particularly bc that's what the show is about. and i think things get very hazy and weird and personal when it comes to how loosely or strictly do we apply the word abuse, and must it always be forgiven, or can it never be, and do some actions make you irredeemable, as well as accounting for the culture carmy was raised in and the exorbitant amount of factors that may have influenced how she would've coped with being a single mother who had some kind of issue with emotional liability. at least when i am thinking about whatever shit is between carmy and his mom i'm never like thinking, "she's abusive and wronged him exclusively" i'm thinking like, clearly we know there were some issues in the home and whatever those issues were, carmy seems to view his mother as one of the main contributing factors to them. and whether that's true or half true or just in carmy's head i think that that's something he thinks based on how he talks about her and avoids her. i'm sorry if this is soo crazy but i just wanted to like share my thoughts and say like i think there's a lot of room for interpretation and growth for carmy and his hypothetical mother if we meet her and this got so long bc there's a carmy and his mom reconciliation longfic in the depths of my soul that longs to be released but i never got the chance to actually write it so im so sorry for dumping it in ur ask but anyway p ls if this is weird in anyway disregared LMAO

oh no i totally agree! i honestly probably didn’t word the answer my bit about carmy’s mom particularly well bc you’re right there is a lot of nuance there and whatever she has done to carmy in the past it’s obvious it’s affected him and made him not want to be around her.

honestly like i totally love your takes on the show and your fics i’m just so bad at wording what i want to say i should shut up 😭

i think my thing is i would like to see a reconciliation between carmy and his mom but i don’t want to see that happen if it turns out she was straight up abusing him. but i totally agree with what you’re saying there is so much room for nuance and stuff there i think i was just thinking with fandoms being fandoms there are some people that can take a nuanced take like that and turn it into something else

like i saw someone on twitter say that MIKEY was carmy’s abuser

tldr: i think we’re on the same page about carmy’s mom, i think she wasn’t always good to carmy but not so awful that it can’t be forgiven if thats what carmy chooses. and i love your takes pls don’t think that answer was aimed at you or anything bc it was not omg