#if i click view would i see funny meme or something that will really upset me

[jellyjam]

i have "cannibal" filtered so whenever someone on my dash rbs a post from that cannibalchicken blog it gets blocked😭

[baroquebucky]

request: Hi. Can you write something about being in the movie with Timmy and he made an agreement with managers about being in relationship with you to increase the popularity of the movie. And you start dating but you dont know about agreement. And then you get to know the truth and you are heartbroken. Timothee is heartbroken too because he really falls for you. With happy ending

a/n: i hope you guys enjoy this and let me know what u all think !! sorry for any typos heh send in some requests :-)

You arrived on set for the last time, smiling at everyone as you entered the trailer for your makeup and talked to your stylist as usual, filled with giddy and sadness as the production wrapped up. You weren’t sure what you more more upset about, the finishing of a movie with a cast you so deeply loved, or the fact that you wouldn’t see a specific curly headed french boy everyday.

The thought of drifting apart from timothée lingered in your mind as you filmed the final shots for the movie. Over the course of several months you had developed a crush on him, I mean who wouldn’t? He was damn near perfect. He was sweet to everyone on set which was more than you can say for other actors you’ve worked with, he was funny and down to earth, he loved almost all the music you did, and he was so articulate.

As you snapped out of your thoughts you heard the director call for a quick break, you sighed, squeezing your eyes shut and taking a breath before going to get a bottle of water.

“are you excited that it’s almost over?” Timothée asked you. Looking over at him you shot him a smile, “bittersweet” you replied, leaning on the table and looking at the whole set, everyone was running around getting things done, fixing things or trying to make sure nothing messed up. “I hope you don’t forget me when you win an Oscar or something” timmy laughed and you rolled your eyes, “please if it’s gonna be one of us it’s gonna be you” you replied, hearing the director calling everyone back to set. “I’ll catch you later yeah?” You spoke, waving at te boy, he smiled back at you nodding.

Timothée smiled as he saw the way you greeted everyone around you, despite being an award winning actress you were always so down to earth and humble. “Timothée we need to speak to you” his agent spoke up next to him, motioning for him to go to his trailer so they could speak.

As he entered the trailer he saw another man sitting down, papers by his side. “What’s all this?” The boy asked, confused and looking at the two men in the trailer with him. “Timothée this is Robert” his agent spoke up. “We want you to date y/n for publicity” Robert said, handing timothée the papers. He was shocked, sort of offended too.

“I’m sorry what? No!” He scoffed, pushing the papers back to the man, not even wanting to read them. His agent spoke up, “listen man, it’s gonna be good PR for the both of you, the movie will get more recognition. It’s a win win for everyone” he pointed out and timothée thought about it for a second. He didn’t like you like that, right? I mean sure he thought you were pretty but you didn’t even know each other. He knew your favorite colors and things like that, he didn’t really know you like that.

“What did she say?” Timothée asked, looking at the man across from him. “We didn’t tell her, we knew she would reject it and we all know when she’s firm about something there’s no swaying her” the man spoke and timothée smiled a little, you were very hard headed.

“Timothée think about it, it benefits everyone” his agent pushed, and he shook his head. “I- I don’t know I have to think about it” he furrowed his brows and his agent nodded, the two men leaving, leaving him and the papers alone in his trailer.

Timothée had read over the papers, he couldn’t tell anyone that it was fake, not even his mom. He groaned and ran his hand through his hair. It would only be six months before the release of the movie, he could get to know you by then.

He was in his trailer for hours contemplating every possible pro and con, the sun had already set and he could hear the set winding down. “Fuck it,” he sighed. Before he could change his mind he signed the agreement, shutting the small Manila folder and walking out of his trailer to hand his agent the papers.

“hey timmy t” you smiled, falling into step with him, he almost choked on his spit, quickly hiding the papers from your view. “hey y/n” he replied, eyes searching for his agent. “what’s that?” You asked, looking at the papers he was poorly concealing. “Nothing, i have to give it to my agent, have you seen them?” You nodded pointing to your right and he thanked you quickly, speeding off before stopping after a couple seconds.

“what time are you done filming today?” He turned on his heels and your heart rate sped up. “What time is it?” You asked. “8:53” he spoke and you smiled, “9:25 ish?” You smiled, he nodded. “Wanna go get some food after?” He smiled sheepishly, you felt yourself flush, nodding slightly before speaking up, “yeah! That sounds great” you replied, he smiled at you and nodded, walking away. You bit your lip, smiling at the ground and holding back a squeal.

As you finished filming you quickly went to trailer, packing up a couple of your things and changing for your dinner with timmy.

Dinner was amazing, the two of you laughing the whole tome and getting to know each other better, you were confused as to why all of sudden he was making a move but you brushed it off, not wanting to ruin something you’ve always wanted.

After that night the two of you went out a lot more over the course of several months, going on small little dates, picnics, watching movies, going to game nights together, sending each other memes, the two of you even went roller blading one time. It was going so well, you noticed the way he would text you more often and the way the two of you hung out a lot more. So did the media.

You’re doing great with y/n, wish the holidays coming up maybe introduce her to your family, post about it and such.

Timothée stared at the message, his heart sinking. He locked his phone and smiled back at you, putting his phone in his pocket and joining you on your couch. “thanksgiving is coming around” he spoke up and you looked away from the TV screen. “uh huh” you replied, heart racing as you realized what he wanted. “I think we’re doing great you know and- well I want you to meet my family” he spoke quickly, nervous as to what you would say.

“as what?” you frowned, slightly hurt that the boy had never asked you to be his girlfriend despite acting like a couple. Timothée smiled at you, leaning in to kiss your nose.

“As my girlfriend?” He blushed, a smile breaking into you face as you squealed and jumped on him, kissing all over his face. He laughed and caught your lips in his, smiling into the kiss. He pulled away for a second, “so is that a ‘yes I’ll be your girlfriend and meet your family’ or” you smiled at him, “it is” you replied, kissing him once more.

By the time the holidays came every magazine, talk show and social media had been posting your relationship, “co stars turned lovers” was their favorite phrase for the two of you. You didn’t care though, both you and timmy were falling deeper and deeper everyday, you were overjoyed, he was scared. The six months began next week. Six months suddenly seemed much too short.

So many dates, so many little gifts, so many funny messages, so many memories and so much love.

Anytime you saw him you got butterflies, a blush would rise on your cheeks when he checked you out or complimented you, usually in that order. Anytime he saw you and you would stare at him in awe he would blush, getting nervous as you hyped him up. Anytime the two of you were together both of your stories had at least on picture of the other with a teasing caption. It was all so real. Until timothée realized it wasn’t. Right?

“Angel, do you wanna get pizza tonight?” Timothée asked you, looking up at you as you played with his hair. You thought about it for a second, nodding your head and a smile broke onto his face. “okay, can you order it? I really have to pee all of a sudden” he laughed, getting up from his position on the couch and heading to the restroom.

Your phone was still in your room so you decided to grab timothées, waking the screen up, a small smile on your face as you see a picture of the two of you laughing with the sunset behind you, both of you in sweats. You remembered that you had told him you wanted to take pictures during sunset, and so that same day he had dragged you out of your apartment and suprised you with a picnic date, making some random lady take pictures of the two of you during sunset.

You were brought out of your thoughts as the phone vibrated in your hands

Only two more weeks with y/n and you’re free from the agreement. Thank you for doing this, the movie is doing great and getting great reviews already. Told you this would work out! Have faith next time.

Your heart dropped, agreement? What agreement? Before you could stop yourself you unlocked the phone, clicking on the conversation and seeing all the messages between timothée and the unregistered number.

Thank you for agreeing to this, by faking a relationship this will 100% get the movie amazinf publicity.

Take her out to dinner, I can send you an address for a nice place, we will pay for it.

When do I have to ask her out?

Whenever you’d like, it has to be before the six months start.

There’s a nice roller skating arena, it’s open tomorrow take her, we will make sure there’s cameras there after a couple hours.

Make her meet your family.

I don’t see her like that, why would she have to meet my family?

Every real relationship has that, make it feel real.

Your eyes watered as you continued to read through the conversation. So it wasn’t real? None of it?

You felt your chest tighten and your breathing grew shallow. Your heart physically hurt, you wanted to break down, cry, scream, punch him. You heard the sink water start in the restroom. Before he came out you rushed to the room, getting your phone, and rushing out of the apartment, turning into an alley before you broke down into silent sobs.

“mon amour where’d you go?” Timothée asked, a smile on his face, excited to spend the nights cuddling with you. “y/n quit playing cmon i miss you” he pouted, checking every room. He furrowed his brows and went to check his phone. It was unlocked. And opened was the conversation with Robert and him. His heart fell. He wanted to break his phone, throw it across the room. He wanted to punch Robert in the face, fight his agent for talking him into this.

Most of all he wanted you. He wanted you when you just woke up and were angry because you had fallen asleep late last night despite knowing you had to get up early. He wanted you when you accident burned food trying to make fancy dinners. He wanted you when you were all glammed up and ready to attend an event. He wanted you when it was just the two of you on a rainy day, cuddling in bed and sharing stories. God, he wanted you. He loved you.

You called an Uber, quickly climbing in and heading straight to your apartment. When you got home you quickly locked the door, turning on the shower and letting the hot water run. You grabbed an over sized shirt you had bought a couple years back and some shorts and fuzzy socks. Without thinking you undressed and got into the shower, letting the hot water burn you for a second before adjusting the temperature. You stood there for a minute before sobs racked your body once again.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Timothée groaned, pacing in his living room, looking at the spot where you once were. What the hell was he gonna do now? Sure it started out as nothing but he loved you now, he couldn’t live without you. But there was no way you were going to believe that. How can he prove it to you? He stopped mid-step, rummaging through his closet until he found the small box.

You stepped out of the shower, steam floating about in your restroom as you changed, you let out a shaky breath, you can get through this.

You had so much of timothées things in your room, you decided to curl up on your couch, mindlessly flipping through channels before stopping on National Geographic, half paying attention to the cheetah hunting a gazelle. Your mind wandered to timothée, was he relieved you were gone? Did he ever mean anything he said?

New hot tears streamed down your face, letting out a quiet sob. You didn’t care about your neighbors hearing you anymore, letting out sob and after sob, trying to catch your breath. A knock on your door made you get quiet. Quickly you grabbed a tissue from besides you and blew your nose, rushing to the kitchen to splash water on your flushed face. Before opening the door you looked in the mirror, your eyes were puffy and red, your nose was tinted red and your cheeks were a light pink. Your hair was frizzy, you didn’t bother putting it up.

You opened the door, not wanting to see anyone, however you put on a smile. It quickly fell when you saw a certain curly headed french boy. You went to slam the door it he was quicker, stopping it before it closed, easily over powering you and opening it wider.

“Leave. Now” you spoke firmly, your voice cold and stern. His heart broke at the sight of you, you couldn’t even look at him. “ma cherie please let me explain” he spoke, wanting nothing more then to pick you up and carry you to bed, kissing all your problems away. “Don’t you fucking dare call me that Timothée.” You snapped.

Timothée.

His heart fell once again, no pet name. Of course not, he would be furious too.

“y/n please, let me explain please.” He begged, bottom lip quivering, you could tell he wanted to cry. All it took was one look into his eyes, god. You fell in love with his eyes the moment you saw them. They made your knees weak and made you smile like nothing else. You let out a sigh, taking your hand off the door and walking into the living room. Timmy smiled slightly, following you in.

“You have 10 minutes” you spoke, sitting down. Timothée nodded, sitting next to you, keeping some distance for your comfort.

“I know you think that this was all fake but i swear to you on my mom that it wasn’t. Yes it was an agreement but that was before i knew you. Before i actually knew you. Do you remember that day on set, the last day of filming and i walked with you and asked you to dinner?” He looked at you and you nodded.

“The paper in my hands, that was the agreement, they told me about it only a couple hours before and my agent kept talking me into it, saying it would help both of us and that it would help the movie and I thought it wouldn’t be that bad you know?” He paused looking at you.

“faking a relationship with someone ‘wouldn’t be that bad?’ Are you serious?” You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. He sighed before continuing.

“After i took you to dinner i texted my agent, i told him i wanted out of the contract, i felt bad, but he wouldn’t let me, Robert- the guy i gave the contract to- would ruin my career and yours too. So of course i kept going, i wasn’t gonna let you fall for something I did. I felt bad, i thought ‘whatever it’s only six months’ but then we got closer and i spent so much time with you and i fell for you, so fucking hard. God y/n i fell in love with you. I’m still in love with you.” He smiled, he wanted to hold your hands, but he stopped himself.

“I remember exactly the moment when I realized I was in love with you. We were at the park, it was a Friday and there were so many dogs, and everytime one passed us you would catch up to their owner to ask to pet them, we were there for hours because of you, and i realized that I didn’t want to be anywhere else but with you.” His eyes watered, looking at you, a year left your eye and you quickly wiped it away.

“Y/n please, you have to believe me, fuck the contract, fuck Robert. I love you. I love you so much and i hate myself for even doing this and for putting you through this, please, one more chance and I swear to you i won’t fuck it up” he pleaded, scooting closer to you and taking one of your hands in both of his.

“how do i know you aren’t doing this because robert said you had to?” You whispered, looking into his eyes and looking all over his face to try read his emotions, you could tell he was being sincere.

He reached into his pocket, pulling out a small box. “You always talked about this ring you loved, how it meant so much to you for no reason. You told me that at 3:27 am, you were so woozy from not having slept at all because you wanted to see how long you could last without sleep. You told me you would only sleep if i sang you a lullaby and so when i started singing Mary had a little lamb you stopped me, and told me the only song ‘available’ was statistics. And so you made me sing statistics to you four times before you passed out.” He smiled at you, you couldn’t stop the smile that broke onto your face, he was so embarrassed that night but you knew he would do anything to make you sleep.

“After you fell asleep i ordered you the ring, I hid it in my closet because i knew you would get so mad at me if you found out i bought it for you.” He smiled sheepishly and you laughed, nodding your head, sniffling a little. “I’m giving it to you now as a promise, I promise you that i love you. All of those little moments, the stolen kisses, the messy sheets, the intense aracde rivalry we have- everything, they mean so much to me. You mean everything to me. It was real for me, it was so real and i can’t lose you, not now, not ever.” He finished, looking at you to try and read your emotions, he was scared shitless, his hands shaking, still holding your one hand tightly.

You pulled your hand out of his, wiping your face before you looked at him. “I love you too timmy” you spoke softly, he let out a small sigh of relief. “you have to understand that I’m hurt, that we can’t just automatically go back like nothing happened” you spoke, looking at the boy as he nodded frantically.

“I know, i know we can go at your pace” he reassured, a smile on his face. You looked at him, a grin on your face. “then ask me, for real this time” you spoke up, staring into his eyes, memorizing every little detail of them.

“y/n y/l/n, will you be my girlfriend?” He asked, a smile on his face as he leaned in slowly, you nodded quickly, a smile breaking onto your face. “of course i will, little timmy t” you giggled and he scrunched his face up, his hand cupped your cheek and pulled you in for the kiss, the two of you stopping because you kept giggling.

“I love you” you whispered, resting your head on his chest. He smiled at you, responding within a heartbeat, “i love you mon amour.”

[delusion-of-negation]

top 10 (ish) ridiculous or annoying FAQs:

(click at your own discretion)

1) "kids today rely on others to do everything"

ah yes, damn those participation trophies! if it wasn't for them my hands wouldn't be fucked, and I wouldn't need people to write for me. but seriously, stop reading boomer comics, and go outside to meet some actual young people.

2) "sus that a non-american says mom"

yeah, because it's clearly the superior version, and I'm not too patriotic to concede a defeat.

3) "sweaty, the victims of abuse by catholics are real people, stop appropriating their pain just because you want to hate catholics; plus teachers abuse people just as often anyway"

so firstly, I don't hate anybody. and secondly, regarding the fact that victims really do exist, [insert "of course I know him, he's me" meme here]; although I don't often talk much about the abuse I went through or what my religious beliefs are. but, more importantly, statements like "survivors are people" can be phrased like "some people are survivors", and when you're unable to act according to the latter (like when you don't even consider that somebody might be one) then you display a failure to recognise the former - you're projecting; a survivor can't be appropriating their own pain, but you can be appropriating it to silence one. and thirdly, teachers do abuse - the problem isn't and has never been purely religion, rather that abuse is often done by somebody in a position of trust, power, and familiarity; and that the lack of a global minimum enables totally legal abuse on top of the illegal stuff. people with access and respect have more opportunity to abuse than those without, and that goes for teachers too. but, once again, you can be appropriating the pain of survivors to deflect and silence people. please remember this before you say that shit.

4) "get help/therapy"

way ahead of you - years ahead of you. but it's not magic - people who say this often act as if you'll start behaving differently overnight. not only are some things simply beyond the ability of talking therapy to completely rectify, it also takes time and has to be selective. you've got to pick your priorities, and that's definitely not whatever ship or joke you're mad at me about today. therapy is a slow, arduous process that can't guarantee results - it isn't "anti-recovery" to recognise that, it's honesty. while I've been in therapy for a long time, it is not necessarily going to change whatever you don't like about me - whether that's because it can't, because my focus now is on more important or urgent things, or because I don't want to change that.

5a) "tell your family you ship incest, see how that goes; normal people find it disgusting"

actually, some know, and they're fine with it. in fact, one prefers sibling pairings in fiction to all other dynamics because, to paraphrase, "it's a deeper level of messed up co-dependence". so unfortunately for you, my remaining family (by which I mean those not dead or cut out of my life after abuse and so forth) actually are able to distinguish between fiction and reality. plus, my reasoning for caring if they find it gross or not pertains only to recommending books and such - their opinions do not dictate my tastes.

5b) "don't sexualise/appropriate incestuous abuse" and "I bet you enjoyed being raped" and other attempts to upset me over 5a

firstly, as I've already said here, survivors can't be appropriating ourselves. in addition, you're not owed people's history or trauma - it's not okay to require people's personal information, or else you'll send anon hate and accusations of appropriation. secondly, I'm not sexualising our abuse (not just because I write horror, and so a lot of my writing is intended to be creepy, not sexy); these stories aren't about us, they're not us at all. entire dynamics/people (fictional or otherwise) aren't all going to be applicable to us or identical to us, just because they have something in common with us; they're not us and they're not accountable to us. thirdly, the fact that people send this stuff (attempting to trigger people's trauma over ships) is so much more worrying to me than somebody making our communal imaginary friends kiss. you're trying to hurt people. and finally, to the "I bet you enjoyed it" crowd (if you're at all serious): do you think you'd enjoy being in a real zombie apocalypse, alone, afraid, and really at risk of being eaten alive? a fictional scenario does not feel remotely the same as a real one. this isn't rocket science - things that look like you aren't you; fiction isn't reality; don't send anon hate. (edit: comparable "just leave me alone, I'm not hurting anyone" sentiments for yandere stuff, and anything else you decide I'm naughty for.)

6) "you'll be sent off to do manual labour once your communist revolution happens"

while I don't know why people think that I'm a communist, a dictatorial regime probably isn't going to want me to do manual labour. they're more likely to just shoot me; I'm useless and a liability. call me crazy, but something tells me that "ah yes, we shall give ze deranged cripple ze power tools" isn't the communist position.

7a) "they/them can't be singular pronouns"

yes they can, and they're used as such in both shakespeare and the bible. but you don't have to say this - I'm also okay with he/him, so you could've just used those and chilled out. also, do I look like somebody who views the rules of grammar as fully immutable and imperative?

7b) "enbies/aros/pan/etc aren't valid"

do you really think that you're going to change any hearts or minds by putting that in my ask box or under my funny maymays? chill out, it's not worth the effort - you could be planning a party (in minecraft) and having fun instead. it isn't worth my time to rant at everybody who's saying something isn't valid, updating how I'm explaining it as my opinions grow and general discourse around it evolves; I'm just who I am, somebody else is who they are - why bicker in presumptuous ways about if that's enough? it ultimately is valid, in my opinion, but that isn't an invitation to keep demanding that I debate. (edit: old posts of mine probably don't phrase things incredibly, on this or anything... I tried.)

8) "what are your politics?"

my politics are informed first and foremost by the knowledge that I'm not cut out to be some kind of leader - I don't want to be the guy who tells everyone else what to do, I just offer what seem to me like valid criticisms of how we are doing things now, and general pointers on the values and ethics that I would prefer to move towards. things like individual freedom, taking the most pacifist route where possible, trying not to give excessive power to small groups of people (governments or corporations), helping those in need even when they're not palatable, and letting me suck loads of dicks. but please refrain from decreeing me something - there's not enough information in what I said, so you'll just be filling in the blanks with assumptions. (edit: workplace democracy seems cool to me; benefits are good; fair fines and taxes; and the "sperm makes you loopy" saga: 1, 2, 3, and 4.)

9) "you're a narcissist"

no, I don't meet the diagnostic criteria. joking on the internet that you're hot doesn't make a person a narcissist. the fact that I've chosen to keep my actual self-esteem issues to myself is not proof that they don't exist - you're just not entitled to that information about me. but it's also not narcissism to really like how you look. (edit: don't throw labels around carelessly too.)

10a) "kin list?"

the fabric of the universe, a zombie, dionysus, maned wolf/arctic fox hybrid, a comedian, big gay, big rock, ambiguously partial insincerity. (edit: kin list may or may not be incomplete.)

10b) "kin isn't valid/that's just being insane"

haven't we established that I'm deranged, and that sending stuff like this on anon is simply a waste of your precious time? besides, I do not care if it's invalid or insane - it's fun, I'm happy. (edit: see 7b for my opinion on sending me yet another ask with "that's invalid" in it; I'm not in the mood to discuss the nature of validity.)

bonus: "it gets better" and "trigger list?"

as I've said before, things just don't always get better for everyone - sometimes things can't be cured or even treated, sometimes they kill you; in some cases it could get better if not for a blockade or lack of time. the world is messy. it needs to be more normalised to reassure or comfort people without relying on saying that their issue will get better or be cured. it does suck to be this ill, but it also sucks to be made out to be a lazy pessimist, just because I have the audacity to not play along. and as for the trigger list, I don't like providing people with an easily accessed list of ways to hurt my feelings or harm me - upsetting me is supposed to be challenging, and thus rewarding. if you want a cheat sheet then you're out of luck, I'm afraid.

bonus #2: "FAQ stands for frequently asked questions, it doesn't need that s at the end!"

yeah, I know, I just enjoy chaos and disarray.

bonus #3 (edit): "what are your disabilities and how exactly are they incurable and/or deadly?"

again, I don't tell the internet everything about me, especially when it poses a risk, especially not as an easily accessible list for you to refer back to whenever you feel inclined to hurt my feelings. that is understandably a sore subject. (edit: that includes physical health issues btw.)

bonus #4 (edit): "so we shouldn't be critical?"

if it wasn't clear from my answer about politics or my post in general, you can have opinions about things, and you can voice that. it's just not realistic to exist at extremes: to think that you alone should dictate what exists in fiction, or to think that people shouldn't be expressing disdain or criticism of any calibur. say how you feel about things, that's fine, but it's also fine if people find that they don't value your input. plus we're all flawed, we can all be hypocritical from time to time, we all get bitchy, and we all make mistakes, or even knowingly fuck things up. that's important to keep in mind, whether we're talking about the one being criticised or the one doing the criticising - poor choices of words, imperfect tone, or contradictory ideas are inevitably going to happen occasionally.

congrats on reaching the end! if you have, at any point, said one of these to me, you owe a hug to your nearest loved one (once it's safe).

edit: might add more links/bonus points in the future when I think of things, but it's late now. (sorry for links where prior notes in the thread have my old url, that may get a tad confusing; also, not all links are my blog or my op, since it is to illustrate points/vibes, not to self-promo.)

[writing-freak]

Flying

Peter Parker x Reader x Dad!Tony

A/N: I told y’all I had one coming! Peter is honestly so adorable!! Happy reading! :) I’m thinking another x-men next??? I guess we’ll see! Reminder-Requests are open!! Send me a prompt, or any idea really! I’d love to write something for you guys!!

Word Count: 3,020 (haha oops)

Masterlist

Being the child of both the smartest and richest man in New York had its perks. Right now, you were enjoying one of them, enjoying the view from the top of Stark Tower as you curled up with a book, basking in the summer heat and feeling the light breeze through your hair.

It was the first time you’d had the opportunity to read your book all week, and you were loving the silence this time alone brought you. Your dad had just gotten home from a long mission, and refused to leave you alone for more than two seconds all week. But you had woken this morning to find a note on the counter, explaining how he had to leave on urgent business in the middle of the night.

After years of impromptu Avengers missions, you knew the drill. He’d be back when he’d be back, and for now, the penthouse suite of Stark Tower was yours to do whatever you wanted.

And right now, that meant a quiet morning with your book. The silence was so unbelievable that you almost didn’t bat an eye when you heard someone clear their throat behind you. Almost.

Knowing your father wouldn’t be home anytime soon, your first instinct was to freeze, the book in your hands no longer holding your interest. But the voice that came next belonged to a teenage boy.

“Excuse me, do you know where Tony Stark is?” you heard, and you spun around in your seat to find a boy around your age, wearing jeans and a t-shirt with a cheesy pun about periodic tables.

Frowning, you stood up from your seat. “Who are you, and what are you doing in my house?”

The boy flushed, shifting his weight as he looked at you apologetically. “Sorry, I know this is Mr. Stark’s private penthouse, but I was supposed to meet him today, and Happy told me he might be up here?”

“He’s out,” you replied, still intrigued by the stranger across from you.

“And you’re his…”

“Kid,” you answered, crossing your arms. “Why are you meeting with my dad?”

The kid shifted again, very obviously uncomfortable. “I-I’m...an intern. I work with your father?”

You didn’t need the boy’s horrible lying abilities to know that your father didn’t have any teenage interns working for his company. Not any that were allowed to come up to his penthouse suite to have a chat with him, anyway. But it took you a few seconds to register what that meant. A teenage boy, in the city, who came to have meetings with your father?

“You’re Spiderman!” You said, finally coming to the realization. The boy went pale, shaking his head. You rolled your eyes. “Look, I’m not gonna rat you out or anything. It’s not like you’re going to be able to lie your way out of it; you’ve already proven yourself to be pretty horrible at that.”

He smiled sheepishly, but held out his hand. “Peter Parker,” he said, and you shook his hand.

“Y/N. Y/N Stark,” you added, “but it seems like you already knew that.”

“Well, y/n,” Peter said, “I guess I should leave to your book. It was nice meeting you!” He smiled kindly, waving awkwardly as he turned around.

“Wait!” you yelled, and then smiled, composing yourself as he turned back towards you. “You should stay. My dad might be home soon, and if he was asking to meet with you, I’m sure it was important.”

“I don’t want to intrude,” Peter said, motioning to your setup on the chair.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re not intruding on anything. Sit down,” you said, motioning to the other chairs around you, slumping back into your own seat. Peter took a seat, but he looked hesitant, perched uncomfortably on the edge of his chair.

You ignored this and returned to gazing at the skyline. “It’s a nice view, huh?” you asked.

Peter let out a breath you didn’t know he’d been holding in, settling into his chair. “It’s beautiful.”

“It looks so distant, though. I mean, I know we’re right in the middle of it, but it feels like there’s a glass wall between us and the city.” You looked at him thoughtfully. “What would happen if you jumped off the building right now?”

He laughed. “Well, since I’m not wearing my suit, I would most likely fall to my death.” You snorted.

“But if you were wearing it. You’d just fly.” You sighed. “Sounds freeing.” The next few moments passed in silence, and you glanced at Peter, who looked unsure of what to say. You decided to change the subject. “So, you’re in high school, right? Where do you go to school?”

“Midtown School of Science and Technology,” Peter recited. You nodded, recognizing the name as a well known STEM school in the city. “You?”

You shook your head. “I’m homeschooled. When my dad has time, he teaches me, but I have some tutors both online and that come here sometimes. I don’t leave the tower very much. Does it show?” You teased, laughing.

He laughed too, but he shook his head. “Not really.”

“So why are you meeting my father, Spiderman? I heard you’d given up your Avenger’s position to stay local.”

“Mr. Stark likes me to check in every once in awhile,” Peter answered. “He makes adjustments to my suit too.”

“Why did you do it?” you asked curiously.

“I’m not like your dad, or any of the Avengers. I’m Peter Parker, I’m no one, and my talents are better served as a friendly neighborhood Spiderman than someone who saves the world.” He looked down at his lap. “It was cowardly, I guess.” You frowned.

“It’s noble.” Peter looked up. You were about to go into a speech about how helping the little guy was just as important as saving the world when Peter stood up abruptly.

“I really should go. Mr. Stark’s not going to be here anytime soon, is he?”

You sighed. “Probably not,” you answered honestly.

Peter nodded, heading towards the door. “It was nice talking to you,” he said, smiling kindly. He looked like a puppy dog, and his soft brown eyes made you smile.

“Is it alright if I text you?” you asked, surprising yourself, and Peter it seemed, who flushed red quicker than you imagined possible. “I don’t have a lot of friends my age, you know, with the homeschooling and everything,” you explained. Peter nodded his head, and you swore you saw a smile on his face. You stood up quickly, pulling your phone from your pocket. You already had a new text message opened by the time you made it to Peter. You handed him your phone, and he typed in a number. When you got the phone back, you typed a quick “sup” with the peace sign emoji, and sent it. It took seconds for Peter’s phone to buzz, his screen lighting up as he added you to his contacts as well.

Peter looked up from his phone, looking as if he wanted to say something, but then he bit his lip and said, “See you around, y/n.”

You smiled. “See you around, Spiderman.”

When your father got home later that evening, you told him about Peter’s visit.

“Oh, Peter,” Tony said, scratching his face. “Yeah, he’s this new intern at Stark Industries.”

“I already know he’s Spiderman, dad,” you said, rolling your eyes. “But thanks for your trust in me.”

Tony winked at you. “How’d you find out? Did he tell you?”

“Please. What kind of teenage intern would be allowed to visit you in your penthouse suite?”

“Touché.”

“How was your mission?” you asked curiously.

“You know I’m not allowed to disclose details,” Tony said, waving you off.

“Pretty please?” you asked, batting your eyes. “You know I’ll just hack into your mission files tomorrow.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Is that a challenge?”

“Fine.”

“Yay!”

--

You decided to send Peter a text for the first time the next morning. Tony was making waffles, and you were tasting the batter as you balanced a calculus textbook on your lap.

Tony was rambling on about the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus, which you had neglected to tell him was the subject of the week before’s lesson with your tutor Mrs. Greene. Your phone was unlocked, sitting on the textbook, and you pulled up Peter’s contact info, biting your lip as you debated tapping the message button. Taking a deep breath, you clicked on it, and your heartbeat sped up as the text message opened.

You settled on a cute Spiderman meme, a little teasing in nature, and hit send before you had the chance to talk yourself out of it.

“I feel like you’re ignoring me,” Tony huffed dramatically. He set a waffle on your plate, pouting like a child.

“You’re right,” you said, grinning as you took a big bite.

Tony sighed. “Just do your homework, kid.”

“Will do.”

The rest of your breakfast was in silence as Tony continued piling waffles on your plate as you worked your way through advanced calculus problems. When you felt a light buzz on your lap, you almost jumped in your seat.

Peter’s response was a quick gif of your dad with the caption “I AM IRON MAN”. You giggled lightly, sending a quick response before you locked your phone again.

“What so funny?” Tony asked, leaning over the counter. “Certainly not the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus?”

You laughed again. “Apparently they’re making memes about you, Dad.”

Tony frowned. “Who’s making memes about me?” You shrugged, laughing harder at his expression. “Alright, that’s it.” He grabbed your plate, despite your protests. “Go to your room. Maybe you can focus better in there.”

But it didn’t really improve your focus as much as your father had hoped. On your way back to your bedroom, you texted Peter again. Great, you got me in trouble with my dad. Way to go. 🙄

Sorry :(

When arrived at your room, you threw the calculus book on the floor, forgotten, as you climbed onto your bed.

I’m not sure if he’s upset or ecstatic that he’s essentially a walking meme.

Ecstatic. For sure.

Over the course of the next few weeks, you and Peter became close friends over text. Despite never seeing each other in person, you held conversations over text message past midnight every night, fell asleep to each other’s voices on the phone, and were the first to say good morning the next day.

You awoke one Saturday morning to a couple of text tones coming from the nightstand beside your bed. You pulled it towards you, unlocking it as you blinked sleepily. Unable to read the messages on the bright screen, you decided to call Peter. He picked up on the first ring.

“Y/N?”

“Hey Pete.”

“What’s up?”

“Do you wanna do something today?” You asked in between a yawn. When the other end was silent for a couple of moments, you felt your heartbeat quicken, worried you had crossed a line. You and Peter had not met in person since the day you had met, a little over a month ago. You sat up in your bed, waking up quickly. “Unless you’re busy. Sorry, I totally understand if-”

“No,” Peter interrupted, “no no no no no!” You laughed a little as his insistence. “I’d love to. It’s just,” he sighed, “the Homecoming dance is tonight, and I promised Aunt May I’d let her help me get ready.”

“Ooh, Homecoming. Sounds fun! Got a hot date?”

Peter laughed. “Yeah, no. I wouldn’t go at all if Ned hadn’t insisted I come. But he got a date, asked her just yesterday.”

“Poor Peter,” you teased. “At the dance all by himself.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll just hide in the bathroom the whole time.”

You laughed. “I have a feeling that’s what I’d do during a school dance, too.”

“Wait,” Peter said, coming to a realization. “You’ve never been to a school dance.” He said it rather than asked it, but you felt yourself nod, even though he wouldn’t be able to see. You felt your heart thudding in your chest. “Would you like to go to one?” His voice was small, as if he was nervous.

“That sounds like fun, Pete,” you said, surprised you were able to form complete sentences. Nervous excitement fluttered through your veins, and you felt your cheeks flush as you heard Peter’s “Awesome!”

You thought your dad would’ve been mad hearing that you’d made plans without asking him, but as you soon understood, to Tony Stark, Peter was about the least dangerous person his child could be spending their time with.

It didn’t take long for your father to buy you an outfit to be brought to Stark Tower. What took a long time was the hour after you had finished getting ready, just following dinner that night, when you had to wait for Peter to arrive. Your father had refused to let you wait downstairs, so you had to stand outside the elevator door, waiting for the light to flash and the doors to open.

You were drumming your fingers on your knee when you heard the ping. Standing up and straightening out your clothes, you took a deep breath.

But when the doors opened, it was simply Happy, with a light smile on his face, his eyebrows raised at your not-so-friendly glare.

“I thought you were Peter,” you mumbled, sighing. Happy chuckled.

“Good to see you too, y/n.”

You rolled your eyes. “How’s it going, Happy?” you asked, your hand returning to your knee, where it continued to tap anxiously.

“I’ve been pretty good actually,” Happy said. “The company’s doing well, your dad’s been off my back-” The elevator pinged again, and you jumped to your feet, ignoring Happy as you met eyes Peter through the slowly opening elevator doors.

He looked gorgeous. You had forgotten just how gorgeous he was. His black suit fit him perfectly, and his puppy dog eyes lit up when they saw you. “Y/N…” Peter said quietly, his voice fading out. You felt a flutter of butterflies in your stomach, your cheeks heating up from his gaze. And then Tony Stark stepped in front of you, blocking your view.

“Peter.” Tony acknowledged.

“Mr-Mr. Stark,” Peter stuttered. “How...How’s it going?” His voice sounded small as Tony put an arm around his shoulder and ushered him into the apartment.

“Wonderful, Peter. Just wonderful.” You saw Peter flinch at the tight grip your father had on his arm. You rolled your eyes.

“Dad.” you said, your voice firm. Your dad looked at you then, an innocent look on his face.

“What, y/n? I just want to give your friend Pete a little talk.” You gave Peter an apologetic glance, but you figured he’d handle it fine; Tony wasn’t as scary as he liked to think he was.

After Peter’s face went pale from Tony’s threats, the two of you stood by the elevator door, wishing Happy and Tony a good night. When the elevator doors finally closed, you both let out a sigh of relief.

“Sorry about that,” you said, a grin on your face. Peter laughed.

“It’s alright. I think your dad likes me.”

“I think he does too. He’s not good at admitting stuff like that.”

“Are you ready for the dance?” Peter asked, glancing over at you. He still seemed nervous, and you could feel the butterflies still fluttering around your stomach.

“No,” you answered honestly, chuckling softly. “I’m terrified.”

Your heart jumped when you felt Peter’s cool hands over your own. You looked at him, your breathing uneven. And then, before giving yourself the chance to change your mind, you pressed the stop button on the elevator, trapping the car between floors.

“Wha-” Peter started to ask, but you interrupted them.

“Before we get there,” you took a deep breath to steady yourself. “I just wanted to tell you...I really like you Pete, and I know you probably just asked me to this dance as a friend, but I just thought you should know.” Peter’s eyes widened, but he looked at a loss for words. Your heart was pounding, cheeks flushed in nervous embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” you said as he stayed silent. You unwound your hand from his, the butterflies quickly turning into nausea. You felt tears well in your eyes as you desperately wished you hadn’t said anything at all.

“No!” Peter said, grabbing your wrist and pulling you closer. Up close, you could see the pink tinting his cheeks, and you were sure he could feel your heartbeat from where his fingers gripped your wrist. “I...I didn’t invite you as more than a friend. I…” But you had gotten all the confirmation you needed.

You raised your free hand to cup his cheek, and leaned in the remaining distance. It was awkward at first, and your noses bumped together uncomfortably, but Peter wound his other arm around your waist, and you felt warm in all the places you were touching: your fingers on his cheek, his hand on your back, and his cool fingers wrapped around your wrist. When you pulled away (too soon in your opinion), you were both out of breath. You smiled up at Peter, your eyes opening slowly to meet his puppy dog ones. The moment would have been perfect, had it not been for the robotic voice that came on through the elevator’s intercom system.

“Y/N Stark,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. said. You groaned, already knowing what this was about. “Your father would like to ask you to stop making out with your boyfriend long enough to resume the elevator functioning. All deliveries to the upper floors are being blocked.” Your face grew hot, and you buried it in Peter’s chest.

“Cameras,” you mumbled. Peter pressed the button to start the elevator again, but you suspected his cheeks were as red as yours. “My dad’s going to kill you.”

[namjoonchronicles]

Triggered - [BTS] Taehyung!Au

[A/N] He’s so pretty I’m-- *sobs*

Soulful. It makes your heart sing along with him. His high notes, the way he potrays the identity of the song so majestically, it's ethereal.

Kim Tae.

He sings behind closed curtains. Sings when no one is looking. No one had ever seen his face. "I only know his voice." You wrote in your iPad. Accompanined by jazz instruments in the bistro KimTae frequently perform in. You decided that this month, you wanted to share the world, the voice that this men had.

He had a unique and sorrowful voice in him that just delve into the soul of anyone listening. An effective remedy for aching hearts, that heals and and mend, despite never having to show his face to people. You wondered if the article you're writing will make him upset.. Should you be asking permissions first?

Will he see you?

He had turn away all interviewers. All good ones too. Those are all chances to expose him more and he just... reject them. A foolish move for such a talented voice. You glanced to your wrist watch and hurried to shove your iPad into your bag. It's a class you hated.

Applied Mathematics and Calculus.

You had a minor slip-up last semester, and that's why you had to retake this paper. Your fault, entirely. The writing competition was around the same time and naturally, you disregarded maths of course. You weren't in the mood to study. The lecturer handed an assignment. To which you groaned at. And suddenly, you had an idea.

Taehyung can help.

He's probably sleeping in the library right now. And you headed there first thing, after the boring lecture ends. You were right. Girls were taking pictures of him sleeping. He had his mouth wide open, tilted back, and although it was a repulsive view for you, these girls thought otherwise. Well, he does look good.

He slapped his mouth shut and straightened up before, crossing his arm, and slept face down. When you came, he had his face tilted to the side a little. So you decided to poke his face with your finger. Touching his chin and pinching the skin underneath his jawline, trying to get some responds. Taehyung was in deep sleep. "You stayed up all night to play games, didn't you." You scolded him.

Rubbing his under chin, like you would a puppy. "How do you that. How can you be such a geek and nerd and look good at the same time. That's unfair. Yo. Wake the fuck up..." you hissed, pulling the chair next to him. "I'm not supposed to tell you this but I needed an outside opinion apart of my perfect own... and because I lack true friends, I decide to come to your ass." You set your books down loud. But still, Taehyung wouldn't wake up.

"I'm writing about KimTae." You dropped. And Taehyung spring awake. "What. Who? Why?" He shot. He always acts like this whenever two names come up. Namjoon. And KimTae. "Wow. That reaction is faster than when I called out Namjoon's name... I'm going to use it from now on to wake you up," you danced in your chair and unfold the assignment you had.

"I...have something to do. An article about KimTae's music and you will help me do this shit." You pointed to the assignment as Taehyung sat up, shaking his head to wake himself up. "...I'll pay you." You took out your purse and took out some bills. "And that's the deposit. You'll have the rest when it's done." You scrunched your nose at Taehyung. Clicking your tongue and zipping your purse.

You didn't even wait for his answer. You just resumed writing on your iPad. "Also, Taehyung. The lecturer says he remembers previous students' assignments. So I think you should change a few words. And don't use nerd terms. Use literary kinds. Literature is kind of my identity you know." You reminded him.

Taehyung blinks at your iPad and, "Did you ask permission?"

You scoffed. "What do you think his answers would be?"

Taehyung blinks rapidly. Biting his lips. His eyes searching wildly. It seems like he didn't want that article to be published. "Why do you think he kept his beautiful voice behind curtains...? Is he, ashamed of his looks? Is he shy? Is he... just. Doing it because it's different. Or is he, immitating SIA?" You asked Taehyung.

He was just grabbing his pen from his bag and calculators. "Can you not write that article." He somberly asked. "I don't understand why he would choose this as a platform. Surely he'll want to see his fans, no?" You completely disregarded his pleas. You knew what you wanted and how to get it. "Maybe. Some artist does singing for the love of it. And not the fame." He stammered, starting to do your assignment.

"Cute." You commented. Feeling slightly sleepy, you lay your head on his shoulder and Taehyung bit his smile before clearing his throat.

I can't be too happy about this. - Taehyung.

"KimTae has taken over my life. I'm starting to hear his voice in my sleep now. Last night... I imagined his deep voice moaning underneath me as I–" Taehyung starts choking on air. People in the library starting to harshly shush you. Alarmed, you gave him bottled water of your own. He drinks from it, gulping half of the bottle when he placed them down. "Best wet dream I have ever had." You shake your shoulders and Taehyung picks the bottle water up and have it poured down on his head.

Gasps, everywhere. "He's lost his mind." You covered your mouth. Not even noticing what you did to the poor boy. "I need to dry myself. Excuse me." He was abnormally calm as he push his chair back and took his bag from the ground. You were left, confused of everything, and you hurried to gather his things, your assignments and iPad.

How do you explain the relationships you share with Taehyung? Casual friends?

He fetch you up to class. Buys you lunch. Takes you to the movies you want to watch and gives you shoulder massages. The only thing you don't do with him is going to the bistro together. Some classes, you had to take separately. Because he is an over-achiever, even though he looks like a bum. And you, you never over-estimate yourself.

That's what you get if you force your children to be a mathematician when she wanted to  docreative writing. She just can't perform. Fortunately, she had a fool called Taehyung. Who is insanely in love with her. And he didn't even know it.

"Don't write that article." Taehyung recovers from the violent coughing. He took off his jacket and shirt in front of his locket. For a nerd, he had quite a confidence with his body to strip in public. And you must admit, he had a good body. "You always do this whenever I want to write about guys." You rolled your eyes. "This time, its not Namjoon. And still..." you crossed your arm, hugging your iPad after putting his calculator and your assignment in his bag.

"Namjoon appears on every news. He didn't have to appear on your blogs too. People will get sick." Taehyung was really against Namjoon for some reason. Namjoon is the only guy on campus comparable to Taehyung's intelligence. They had a beef back then, and no one would tell you what it was about. Not that you were curious anyways.

"But I love KimTae. I want him to get recognition..." you pouted, you hand him the bills you set as deposits for him to finish your assignments. "Don't forget these." Taehyung hung on his locker door after putting on his new grey shark sweater. He slams the locker door shut.

"KimTae didn't sing for the audience. KimTae sings because of the girl he loves. KimTae doesn't move to bigger stage even when he can because he doesn't want the fame. KimTae doesn't show his face because KimTae wants to be appreciated by his voice. Not his good looks...." Taehyung said, in one breath. You were still holding out the cash money at Taehyung, puzzled.

"KimTae is me. Keep the money. I would do it regardless of being paid. But for your own good, I'm not going to. Because I like you. And actually want you to succeed. There, I said it. Up to you, what you want to do with that information. But that article won't be posted." Taehyung shoved the cash back into your hand and turned away.

He looks ahead, and blew hot air to his forehead before heading to the right, disappearing from your sight.

Thunder rolled in the sky signifies the storm that's about to come and the the storm in your heart. Taehyung said it so effortlessly. KimTae is Taehyung. You remembered him jokingly say, "The possibilities of me being KimTae, I mean, Kim Taehyung, me. Short, KimTae... funny right?"

You also remembered the time he hummed a song sung by KimTae, despite never attending KimTae's sing stage. Or the way KimTae sighs tiredly to the microphone when he entertains his audience during breaks. was the same way Taehyung would sigh when you talk about Namjoon. Or that one time, a weekend, when he giggled low on a meme you shared through messenger, the same way KimTae would giggle at the praise you give him through the curtain.

"Shit." You breathed. Holding the wall next to you. And the suddenly remembering about the assignment you had to submit, letting out an even exasperated, "Shit." It started to drizzle. Taehyung probably had already left with the car so you walked in the rain, calmly.

You stood in fromt of his dorms. Gifted students don't have to pay to stay here. You had to live off-campus because of your horrible results. You were standing in front of his dorm, in the heavy rain. Taehyung opens his windows, looking at you and then yelling, "Go to a shelter!"

He roared and you shook your head. "No!"

"You have class tomorrow, you want to be ill!?" He roared. He left the window and you knew he was coming down the stairs to get to you. He did. He covered his head with a hoodie and brought a pink umbrella. He took your wrist but you yank out of it. "I have to tell you that I am in love with you. Not just as KimTae. But as Taehyung." You were shivering from the cold.

"I get it. Now let's go inside..." Taehyung would say anything to make you follow him to the sheltered building. "Listen! You don't have to hide anymore. I want people to know your voice." You hugged your bag. "The iPad inside is probably already ruined because of the rain... but I want you to perform boldly..." you asked him.

Taehyung gave you a ridiculed look. "Don't you understand? I want to only sing because of you. I want your recognition. What others think about me is not important." Taehyung decide that it was time to take matters into his hands. He carried you over his shoulders and ran inside the dorm.

"Maybe KimTae can show me how sinful his moans are...?" You said, upon standing on your feet. Taehyung hugged himself, "Stay away from me." You start poking his sides in an attempt to tickle him.. He starts giggling on his side, cowering. "How dare you kept this as a secret... you must be enjoying how much I was admiring him, knowing that it was you... I will torture you for this. You will never see the end of it."

Taehyung was in for a very satisfying and long, steamy...night.

[captainvictoryboat]

Behind The Scenes 3 (4.5/???)

Author’s note: It may be a while till I post the next scene. I haven’t had any time or inspiration to continue writing BTS 3 where I left off (Don’t worry I’m talking about my Malaysia scenes. There is still a bit to go before you all catch up to it). I need to buy myself more time so I can start writing and perfecting the last scenes of BTS 3. Sorry for any errors or any cultural and environmental inaccuracies.

Genre: Fluff-ish?/ Angst? (Suga, Jungkook)

Word count:1826

City: Shanghai

Summary: You, Jungkook and Suga go out to the beach.

Other parts: HERE

This is my GIF. I made it based on this scenario series.

The beach was beautiful. The three of you made it to the shore almost at sunset, just when the sky was its most colorful. Even though there were quite a bit of people, you didn’t really mind. You weren’t too scared of running into any fans.

When the three of you came closer to the water, you all removed your shoes to let the dying waves splash over your feet. As always, y ou and Jungkook held hands. Jungkook being the “gentleman” he was, held your shoes for you. Suga straggled behind the two of you, constantly stopping to take a few pictures.

“Damn, it’s such a nice evening.” Jungkook said.

“Right! The view is so amazing!” you said looking past him to see the hues of yellow and orange.

“Finally you agree that I look amazing!”

“Shut up!” you laughed.

You could hear the sound of water splashing behind you and soon Suga appeared next to you. “What are you guys talking about?”

“About how good looking I am!’ Jungkook stopped, let go of you, tossed the shoes in the dry sand and moved into a dramatic model pose. “Yoongi quick! Take a picture. I can’t hold my breath forever!”

Suga rolled his eyes at him. He lifted his camera, but he didn’t bother to aim it, he just lazily clicked away a few times.

“C’mon let’s keep walking!” you laughed. You tugged on Jungkook’s arm, but he refused to move.

“Jagi no! He needs to take a good picture!” Jungkook said still holding his breathe.

You gave one last tug and he dramatically fell to the ground, making sure to land where the water didn’t reach him. “Jagi! Why?!? I thought you loved me?!?” A last puff of air escaped him before he played dead.

Immediately, Suga crouched next to him and took many pictures of Jungkook at all angles. “Ah yes! These are the images I want!” He laughed

Jungkook broke into a smile. “Ya!” He laughed, pushing Suga away and picking himself up. “Yo, take a picture of me and y/n. We can put it online! Baby, do you wanna take pictures?” he asked, turning to you.

You shrugged, “Eh, I guess so.”

The two of gave your back to the water and faced Suga. Jungkook came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders. You put your hand on his and smiled into the camera.

“Smile.” Suga said bitterly as he aimed the camera at you and Jungkook.

After only a few shots were taken, Jungkook practically shouted, “Wait!”

You jumped up a bit at the loud voice that boomed right in your ear and you looked up at him with a bit of a snarl.

“Jagi, let’s make this one a funny one!” he suggested.

“Kookie no!”

“C’mon it’ll be fun!” he insisted.

“Fine!”

In a aplit second you put yourself back in a happy mood and you both proceeded to make derp faces at the camera. Suga continued to take a few pictures, but he didn’t even seem a tiny bit amused by the stupid faces you were making.

“Kookie, can we stop now? Let’s take better ones.” you whined

Suga’s expression cringed into an even more bitter expression. “Why are you guys acting like that? There aren’t even that many people around and it’s not like anyone knows what we are saying!”

“Cuz we can’t hide our love!” Jungkook shouted, staying in character. You could feel his arms tightened around you. “Look at the beauty before us! How can one not show her affection!” All the noise coming from him was earning “a bit” of attention from the people around you.

You felt so paranoid with so many judgmental eyes staring at you all. You turned around and hid your face into Jungkook’s chest. “Oh gosh, don’t be so loud.” you whispered

“I’m getting people to stare so all this doesn’t go to waste, but I’ll stop if you want me to.” He whispered.

You nodded.

“Are you two done?” Suga asked. It was easily to tell he was annoyed about something.

“What’s with you?” Jungkook asked with what you thought was the slightest hint of a smirk.

“Nothing!”

“Are you sure? What’s wrong?” you asked.

“I said its nothing!” he said walking off down the shore on his own.

Jungkook picked up your shoes and grabbed your hand. “C’mon, let’s keep walking.”  

You quickened your pace to try and catch up the Suga. “Yoongi, can I see the pictures?” you hoped that talking to him would get him out if whatever mood he was in.

He didn’t say anything or even look back at you. He simply handed you the camera. It was already opened to the pictures he took of you and Jungkook.

You couldn’t help but shriek when you laid eyes on the pictures. “Aah! I look so gross! Why did you actually take these?!?”

“Nah, you look cute, an ugly cute, but still cute.” Suga said, keeping his eyes forward.

Jungkook took the camera from you. “Oooohhh, looks like we found our BTS meme queen!”

Almost immediately, Suga ripped the camera from his hands and turned it off.

You looked back at Jungkook, but all he did was shrug at you.

Things were silent amongst the three of you until you heard a phone ringing. Suga pulled his phone out from his pocket and when he looked down at the screen, he broke into a small smile. “Oh, hey Aiko!” he answered cheerfully.

Instantly you could feel your insides twist. You felt a pang of jealousy hit you in the chest just from hearing him say her name.

“Yeah I’m just here on the beach with y/n and Jungkook.” He continued. “Shanghai… ha yeah, I guess you could you could say I’m the third wheel… Well, if you were here, it would be a different story… Hang on a second.” He covered the speaker of his phone and finally turned to face you and Jungkook. “Do you guys wanna go back to the hotel? It’s kinda hard for me to talk to Aiko with so many people around.”

“Already?” you frowned. “I was just starting to have fun…”

you could see Suga frown a bit himself. “Ah, well y/n-“

“Huh? That’s funny. I thought it shouldn’t matter what you say. It’s not like anyone around us can understand what you are saying.” Jungkook spat back with smirk.

Suga locked his gaze on Jungkook. “This is different!”, he said sternly. Then he looked back at you. “Why don’t we all go back? It’s getting a little late anyway. We should get back before Namjoon does.” by his tone it was as if he was almost begging you to go back with him.

“You go. Y/n and I are going to stay a bit longer.” Jungkook said.

Suga squinted at him.

“Go.” Jungkook insisted. “We’re fine. I can get Tae to tell us when he and Namjoon are getting back if that’s what you’re so worried about.”

Suga grumbled under his breath. You thought he said “not really.” but you weren’t too sure of that was what he really said. Suga looked back at you, and you could see he wanted you to go back with him. “Are you sure you don’t wanna go back?” Suga asked.

“… You go. I wanna stay longer.”

“Well… ok…” He picked up the phone again. “What were we talking about?” he asked as he walked off back to the hotel.

You watched as his figure got smaller and smaller as he left. You didn’t go back to walking in the water until you no longer saw him. On the inside, you were a bit mopey, but tried not to look too upset. “The sunset is so pretty.” You said. A part of you knew it was best to stay out with Jungkook. This was such a beautiful evening and it was possible you wouldn’t get another chance like this.

“Yeah it is…” You felt Jungkook lean closer to you. “Time out… Before we left the hotel, I really did text Tae to let us know when they’d be getting back. I didn’t want a repeat of what happened in Beijing…” He whispered.

You didn’t bother to say “time in” and you let your actions speak for you to let him know to get back into character. You squeezed his hand tighter and tip toed to give him a small peck on his cheek.

You both continued to walk in blissful silence. You took in the sounds of people laughing and having fun around you, the sounds of the waves crashing on shore and the sound of the sand crunching under your feet. You walked and walked until you got a bit tired.

“…Can we sit down?” you peeped.

“If you want.” Jungkook pulled you away from the water and to an empty spot on the beach.

You both saT down on a cool patch sand and you dug your feet into it. You rested your head on his shoulder and enjoyed the view. Thankfully, the calming minutes seemed to go by so slow. It felt as if you had been able to have a relaxing sit in the sand for hours. By now the sky was filled with oranges and pinks with the slightest hint of purple. Just when the orange was about to disappear and as the purple grew, the sky looked its most beautiful.

You turned to Jungkook. “Ooohh can you take a picture? The sky is so pretty right now!”  There were way less people around compared to before, making it the perfect time to take a decent picture.

Jungkook shrugged. “You can take it if you want.” He pulled out his phone and opened the camera for you.

You probably took about 50 pictures until you felt satisfied that you got a good shot.

“Hey! Calm down. You got like a five hundred pictures of the same spot!” He laughed.

“I had to make sure I got a good picture… Here, I’m done now.” you smiled tossing his phone back to him.

“… Y/n”

“Hm?”

“Time out again real quick. You wanna take a better picture to make up for the stupid ones from earlier? You didn’t seem too happy with those. If we take better ones I can post those or something.”

“Well we don’t have to. Do you really think we’ll need to take another one?”

“Well, I guess not. I’m not too sure how this whole dating lie should work. I feel like compared to real couples we don’t have a lot of pictures together.”

“That’s true… Yeah, we are probably slacking when it comes to this whole thing… Yeah, let’s take some nicer pictures.”

To embrace in the scenery of the beach, Jungkook made a big heart in the sand. He lay his head in one side and you lay your head on the other side. He got a good three pictures, before an obnoxious laser sound rang from his phone and a text from V appeared on the screen.

“Oh shit! We gotta go back now!”

You both jumped up immediately and maneuvered through the still crowded beach. Thankfully it didn't take Jungkook too long to hail a taxi and the two of you made it back to the hotel before V and the monster did. 

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10 Quotes From Full House That Are Actually Funny | ScreenRant – Screen Rant

Full House may be a popular sitcom from the late ’80s and early ’90s, but there’s no arguing with the fact that the show is incredibly corny. Even the well-known taglines like Michelle Tanner’s “you got it dude” or Uncle Jesse exclaiming “watch the hair” can be grating after a while.

RELATED: 10 Storylines From Full House That Never Got Resolved

Despite the cheesy nature of the show, there are actually a lot of quotes that make us laugh to this day, whether we’re catching a random re-run or just looking back on the show we grew up with. Here are 10 quotes from Full House that are actually funny.

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10 “My, how you’ve aged.”

Stephanie (Jodie Sweetin), D.J. (Candace Cameron Bure), and Michelle (Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen) are really cute siblings who light up whatever scene they’re in together. When the girls see some photos of them as kids in the season three episode “Star Search,” Stephanie thinks that she’s looking at a snapshot of her. She calls herself “adorable” and DJ says “Steph, that’s me!” Stephanie’s response? “My, how you’ve aged.”

RELATED: 10 Hilarious Full House Memes That Are Too Funny

Stephanie has a wise-beyond-her-years sense of humor and often says things in a very dry, flat tone. This is one of her best quotes that is actually hilarious.

9 “Honey, they’re not boys. They’re men. They’re Katsopolis men.”

In the season eight episode “Breaking Away,” Uncle Jesse (John Stamos) and Aunt Becky (Lori Loughlin) have to adjust to their twin sons, Nicky and Alex, going to school. Becky is super emotional and says, “Honey, look at this. Two little lunch-boxes with two little handles and they’ll hold as they walk out of our lives. Jess, they’re not ready for preschool. They’re just little boys.”

RELATED: Seinfeld: The 11 Funniest George Costanza Quotes

Uncle Jesse’s reply is that they’re “Katsopolis men” and it’s a really funny quote. He’s always trying to be really macho, but he’s hiding a sweet, vulnerable side, and of course he’s just as upset about his kids growing up as his wife is.

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8 “Dust… When did we have a kid?”

Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky have the cutest family, and it’s impossible to imagine their twins not being a part of Full House. But back in the second season of the show, they were simply discussing baby names.

Becky says she loves the names Prescott and Emily, and Jesse insists on Dustin. When she keeps repeating that Prescott is her preferred boy name, he says, “Dust… When did we have a kid?” This is a Full House that is actually funny since so many couples can relate to this familiar conversation.

7 “Not if it’s a girl.”

In the season three episode “Dr. Dare Rides Again,” Danny (Bob Saget) and his daughters are naming their dog (who ends up being called Comet, of course). Stephanie suggests “Mr. Dog.” When D.J. says, “Mr.Dog? Steph when you have a kid someday what are you going to name it? Mr.Baby?” Stephanie replies, “Not if it’s a girl.”

RELATED: The Ellen DeGeneres Show: 10 Hilarious Guest Star Quotes That Are Too Funny For Words

This is another quote from Full House that is actually hilarious. Stephanie’s delivery is so perfect and she really has good timing here.

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6 “Bruce Springsteen is the boss.”

Danny’s season six quote is another funny one. He’s chatting with Michelle in the episode “The House Meets The Mouse” and he tells her, “Sounds like you were trying to be the boss.” She says, “The princess is the boss” and he makes his Bruce Springsteen joke.

This is one of the character’s greatest lines and it’s particularly great since it’s not about cleaning. Sure, it’s pretty funny when he goes into his clean freak mode, but this joke is a nice departure from his usual conversation. It’s even funnier since Michelle has clearly no idea who he’s talking about.

5 “Do babies get hairballs?”

Uncle Jesse asks this very funny (and totally ridiculous) question in the season one episode “Knock Yourself Out,” making this one of the actually hilarious quotes from Full House. Uncle Joey (Dave Gladstone) and Jesse are upset because Michelle is coughing a lot. Stephanie comments that it “sounds like a hairball.”

RELATED: 10 Things That Make No Sense About Full House

This is a great example of when Joey and Jesse are taking care of the girls and being really silly in the process. They love them so much that it’s tugging at our heartstrings and also making us laugh.

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4 “You lost my daughter? I went to work for seven hours and you lost 33% of my children?”

This Danny Tanner quote is from the pilot and it’s another really funny one. It wouldn’t be quite so good if he hadn’t been so specific and said “33 percent of my children.” That’s Danny: specific, precise, and analytical.

It’s impossible to imagine another TV character (or even someone IRL) saying something like this. They would be too focused on the fact that their kid was nowhere to be found. Danny, however, can’t help but say this.

3 “You’re hugging me in a room with pink bunnies.”

Also from the pilot, this Uncle Jesse quote is one for the books. It’s clear that he’s having some trouble adjusting to his new life and reality: being a full-time caregiver for Danny’s three daughters.

RELATED: Full House: 5 Best (& 5 Worst) Episodes

But of course, Jesse also loves every minute of it, and he just has to get used to things.

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2 “I gotta go potty.”

Michelle says this hilarious quote in the season four episode “A Pinch For A Pinch.” It’s a perfect response to what Danny is explaining. He says, “Michelle is getting an academic foundation that’s going to carry her through grades K through 12, through college, through Harvard law school. Jess, you have robbed our nation of one of the finest legal minds the supreme court has ever known.”

RELATED: Full House: 10 Uncle Jesse Quotes That Show Why He Was A Heartthrob

Michelle, being a little kid, responds the best she knows how: by saying she has to use the bathroom. It’s a priceless moment (and also a teaching one, this being Full House, since Jesse told Michelle to stand up to a bully by pinching him right back).

1 “I’ll stay home and watch public television.”

It’s off to school for Stephanie in the season one episode “The First Day of School.” When Danny asks, “Steph, don’t you want to go to school and be smart?” Stephanie says, “I’ll stay home and watch public television.”

This is definitely the funniest quote from Full House and of course it’s said by Stephanie, who is one of the most hilarious characters on the heartwarming sitcom. She just always knows the right thing to say.

NEXT: Full House: 10 Things That Haven’t Aged Well

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Bài viết 10 Quotes From Full House That Are Actually Funny | ScreenRant – Screen Rant đã xuất hiện đầu tiên vào ngày Funface.

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How I Met Your Mother: 10 Hilarious Lily Memes That Are Just Perfect – Screen Rant

If you watched CBS sitcom How I Met Your Mother, you know the character Lily, played by Alyson Hannigan, quite well. And you might have even felt some connection to her as if you two were long lost friends. She’s the kind of girl you want to be friends with: sweet, kind, and innocent. But also with an amazing sense of humor. That said, don’t upset her or you’ll feel the wrath.

RELATED: How I Met Your Mother: 10 Of Barney’s Most Inappropriate Pickup Lines 

Interestingly, she’s the least meme-worthy of the main cast members, which also include Barney (Neil Patrick Harris), Ted (Josh Radnor), Robin (Cobie Smulders), and Marshall (Jason Segel). While the Internet is flooded with hilarious memes featuring these characters, from Barney’s signature phrases “suit up” or “challenge accepted,” to those featuring the hidden child pop star Robin Sparkles, and others mocking Ted’s inability to tell a story in less than nine years, there isn’t much around the equally funny Lily. But we scoured the Internet and found these 10 gems that were totally worth sharing.

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10 Angel Wings

Lily was an amazing wife to Marshall who put her career dreams on hold for him to follow his (even if she went through a phase where she questioned that decision). She was always there for her friends, then became a wonderful mother to their son.

This meme might seem more touching than hilarious. But what makes it funny is the expression on Lily’s face in the bottom shot, though it clearly shows her going through an emotional moment with her husband. However, eagle-eyed fans might notice (as did the person who created this meme) that the front of her jacket sort of looks like wings. Hmm…

9 Baby in My Belly

Anyone who watched the show knows that these are the exact words Lily said to Marshall when she decided that she wanted to have kids. Only Lily would deliver this decision in such an adorable fashion to her equally adorable husband (they really were the cutest couple on TV, weren’t they?)

We’ll bet this meme, or at least these words, were shared by lots of couples who were fans of the show and decided it was time to pro-create and add a new little one to their family. And they probably laughed while saying it, too, recalling the touching moment from the series.

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8 What Did You Just Say?

So this meme focuses on Marshall talking about a girl someone (probably Barney) is referring to as a slut. Lily is clearly not approving of his use of this derogatory word. But what’s most hilarious is that this is something Lily might actually say herself.

Lily was quite open with her opinions about the people that Barney, Ted, or Robin dated. And while she might not always be so loose-lipped, what’s hilarious about this meme is the look of shock she’s giving her usually sweet husband Marshall.

RELATED: How I Met Your Mother: 10 Hilarious Memes Only True Fans Will Understand 

7 Dress Like Lily

As an elementary school teacher, Lily dealt with kids all day, so sometimes, that meant coming home with, yes, paint on her clothing. But this scene induced plenty of laughs given the strategically placed handprint.

Lily was always somewhat conservatively dressed, with bright colors that you’d call cute versus sexy. But this look? It’s probably her funniest, combined with the disapproving, exasperated look on her face. Clearly, she had a bad day at work. And we can all relate to that.

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6 Too Much Energy Drink

As mentioned above, Lily was the sweetest girl ever. But if you crossed her, or something made her genuinely upset, she could fly off the rails. Remember her attitude and actions during Barney and Robin’s wedding when she was upset about Marshall taking a judgeship without talking to her first?

The meme is hilariously perfect with its caption that likens Lily positioning herself atop a moving car, screaming in anger, to a wife who drinks too much energy drink. Sure, some might consider it offensive. But truly, it’s just downright hilarious.

5 Hurting People

OK, this one might have you scratching your head, but it really is funny. Lily loved animals, but even so, her statement that she wants to hurt people not animals is funny, but so typically Lily. Of course, she doesn’t mean it literally, but that’s what makes it so funny.

But adding the second image of human bodies with animal heads is just creepily hilarious. We wonder what Lily might say when presented with these odd creatures. How could she possibly decide?

RELATED: How I Met Your Mother: Ted’s Girlfriends, Ranked 

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4 Love Like Lily and Marshall

OK, at first glance, this meme will just elicit tons of “awws” at the super cute couple. They really were relationship goals. But the image combined with the white text overtop looks almost like an ad for perfume, which makes it super funny.

How did no one jump on these two to be spokespersons for their perfume or cologne, flower delivery service, chocolates, or some other romantically-related product? There was clearly a lot of missed marketing potential there.

3 Relationship Goals

Another meme focused on the adorable relationship between Lily and Marshall, this one perfectly personifies how cheesy yet cute their courtship was. Donning matching ugly Christmas sweaters wasn’t enough for these two.

When they go out, they go all out in the most hilarious ways. So instead, they wore two sweaters that link together to create the entire reindeer. One shirt doesn’t work without the other, just like them. Now, why did poor Lily have to get the butt? That makes the image even more hilarious, and totally meme-worthy.

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2 Son of a B***

Just looking at the image might make you want to burst out laughing as you picture Lilly actually muttering those words, lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed in anger.

This was one of Lily’s many signature phrases, and one she doled out in her signature quick-whispered style whenever she was upset (usually not seriously upset) at someone. Even in her anger, Lily still looked so cute and adorable, you almost wanted to laugh. It’s hardly believable that she would have used such foul language either.

1 Sexy Calves

Any fan of the show will remember the episode from season 2 when Lily and Marshall broke up (briefly) then had to see one another during a dinner with Ted’s parents. While Lily tried to make Marshall jealous by showing off her breasts in her dress and acting provocatively to show him what he was missing, Marshall retaliated by wearing pants with unzippable kneelines to brunch the next day. When Lily saw his calves, she found them totally irresistible and she couldn’t hold in her lust any longer.

So this meme is perfect, describing Lily’s strange attraction to her husband’s calves, and how one might feel just like her should they find themselves looking longingly at a man’s or woman’s lower legs. Really? Calves?

NEXT: MBTI Of How I Met Your Mother Characters 

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Bài viết How I Met Your Mother: 10 Hilarious Lily Memes That Are Just Perfect – Screen Rant đã xuất hiện đầu tiên vào ngày Funface.

from Funface https://funface.net/funny-memes/how-i-met-your-mother-10-hilarious-lily-memes-that-are-just-perfect-screen-rant/