#if i focus on literally any other part of the episode except the ending ill combust im being so serious

[kaseyskat]

goddd thinking about the way scary thought for a moment she genuinely killed link just like she was threatening to do and it actually destroyed her. like if she had killed him that would've been IT, the point of no return. taylor and normal were already pretty deadset on fighting her, there'd be no more forgiveness, and part of her craved that because link was the last person who still had hope in her- taylor never had it, normal's was killed after an episode's worth of bullying and then threatening his family, and if even link was gone, dead, scary could finally be free of the burden of having to know people care about her.

and that killed her. and it kills me.

[nell-pointer]

thoughts on red ribbon army saga + that stuff at the end with baba (ep 29-78)

ill be real with you started off pretty boring

like goku a lot this series, but in my opinion hes at his best when he is interacting with other characters. There is really charming found family dynamic in this show and I think the show is at its strongest when they focus on that

also the general silver guy was hyped up a lot and he got taken down so quickly lol, i feel like the show wanted my to take these guys seriously but they did absolutly nothing to convince me that they were really a threat

the next general was even worse, and I honestly cant even remember what happened in most those episodes just that it was boring as shit. The show kept flashing to suno and her dumbass family like they thought i gave a shit about them (i did like eighter tho)

FINALLY it starts getting good once we get to general blue, bulma and krillin were reintroduced and that instantly improved the quality in my opinion

general blue himself was actually crazy, hes a 'queer coded villain' except i guess toriyama forgot about the coding part and just made him queer. They literally call him gay in the show and theres this one scene where he asks out a little boy??? that was wild.

I was super disappointed after this arc ended tho cuz that meant bulma and krillin were gonna fuck back off to secondary character land. HOWEVER soon after this we are introduced to the cutest character in the show:

this arc is when the saga as a whole finally gained some direction. Before this point it was just about goku trying to find the fourth dragon ball specifically, there werent any real stakes. But after oopa dad dies I finally had a reason to be invested in his journey. Also it was so nice to see how much goku cared about oopa and about bringing back his dad. Like i said before, goku is at his best when hes interacting with people he cares about.

After that arc we get goku stomping the absolute shit out of the red ribbon army. This is where the red ribbon army saga ends but im gonna keep going cause the next 9 episodes were still about getting the last dragon ball

and oh boy did most of those last few episodes suck. Despite having the entire cast there it was still just SOOO boring. It was basically just tenkaiichi lite, except the random fighters were even less interesting than they were in the first one.

But it did get better for the last four episodes, the part when goku was reunited with his grandpa legitimately made me tear up AND we were reintroduced to pilaf gang and they are always a blast. Plus we finally got to see oopa and his dad reunited which was obviously super touching.

All in all this saga probably had the most lows and highs of any of the sagas thus far. But the highs definitely ended up outweighing the lows in the end (but im still never gonna rewatch the muscle tower bullshit again in my life)

[softprincesso]

✨ HOW TO BECOME A WEALTHY MIDDLE AGED MAN✨

PT.2: Overview to understanding different saving/retirement methods, investments, and forms of income

Pt. 2.2 Overview of Investments

Welcome lovelies to (what I hope will be) a helpful series on gaining wealth and becoming financially literate and independent!

Disclaimer: Check other posts. It's too long to keep typing out.

Now comes (what I believe) is the fun part of money. Making it grow.

Investments are defined as “an asset or item acquired with the goal of generating income or appreciation.” Essentially, anything you purchase with the belief that in time it will be worth more. This includes the entire stock market, cryptocurrencies, art, real estate, jewelry, vintage coins, designer bags, etc. Of course, some of these take more time and each comes with some amount of risk. These variables change according to your strategy as an investor.

✨THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND✨

Begin as a Beginner

Do not overwhelm yourself during your financial literacy journey by trying to learn everything, all at once, while also trying it all out. The thing that creates the most confusion when learning is believing the lie that you can multitask well. Yes, start with a brief overview of the systems and institutions (what we are currently doing in the series) but literally all you need to start is definitions and a gist so that you can comprehend how they connect later on. Learning an entire world that has never been taught to you is going to take time, and I’m talking years. And then, when you think you have something down your going to mess up or read an article about how the stock you saw yesterday for $6 is now $1000 and you’re going to be frustrated (this happens a lot). But, If you want to learn about the stock market, focus on the stock market. Retirement still scares you, focus on that until you master it and have a plan. And for Christ’s (or whatever deity/person/universe you believe in) if you do not have a steady stream of income do not put your last pennies trying to get into crypto (or any investing truly). This is something to start after you have income, a savings, a retirement, and have paid off at least most debts.

Recommended sources to learn more:

Netflix has a great series called “Explained” where (you guessed it) they explain things. While I recommend every episode because you can never learn too much, there are ones specifically dedicated to the stock market, cryptocurrencies, and billionaires each that helps to uncomplicate the history and purpose of each of these things.

✨Let’s get started✨

The Stock Market

“Stock markets are real and electronic exchanges that enable the buying and selling of securities. The most popular include the NYSE, Nasdaq MarketSite, and Tokyo Stock Exchange.” Let me, let you, in on a little secret-the stock market is essentially fantasy football (sorry, my American is showing) but with companies. When you buy a security, you are betting that (in the long run or short run, depending on your strategy) that a certain company will perform well and gain profits, which in turn will gain you money on what you bet. There are two categories of players in the market which include the assets (the football players) and the investors (the betting public). Of the assets you can categorize further by what position they play on the field…

Stocks

Most well-known, but the riskiest. The “star” player that everyone hypes up and takes all the credit. Stocks are fractional pieces of publicly traded companies, and by buying a stock you own a relative size of that company. They are either “paying you” through growth (when their stock price rises) or through dividends (when they send you a piece of their profits directly).

Mutual Funds

Less known but a safer bet than single stocks. Popular among those in middle age. “Mutual funds are baskets of stocks or bonds. They come in all different shapes and sizes, from covering broad stock market indexes to focusing on specific sectors.” When you buy a mutual fund, you are saying that you believe on average that pile of stocks/bonds are going to do well, instead of betting on a single player. Usually they are actively managed by people who are trying to “beat” the market for you. Statistically good for the short term, long term are less effective than ETFs.

Index Funds: a subset of mutual funds that are passively managed and track indexes like an ETF but trade like a mutual fund (once at the end of the day and without reliance of supply and demand)

ETFs

Exchange traded funds. The up-and-coming underdog that’s gaining popularity. These are passively managed baskets of stocks and bonds that track over a specific index like the S&P 500. They work like stocks, being traded throughout the day, relying on supply and demand, while giving a lot of the advantages that mutual funds do. They also come with their own set of disadvantages but are still a great way to diversify a portfolio inexpensively.

Bonds

The reliable bench players you know you can put in to save a game. Great safe bets that can generate a steady income. Bonds work like a loan for a regular person, except for a company. You can loan your money to a company which will pay you a principal plus a fixed interest back every specified period. There are different types which come with different advantages and strategies, so make sure to read the fine print.

Commodities

Tangible goods that go into manufacturing-Gold, oil, metals, corn, soybeans, etc. A good defensive team to have in the game for a hedge against inflation or economic troubles. They trade in a commodity exchange. You can still access them through most brokers.

Source to look into for deeper understanding and questions: https://www.investopedia.com/terms/i/investment.asp

Easy way to get started quickly:

1. Create a brokerage account: There are lots of accounts to choose from, but I would go for accounts that have zero fees and no minimum, this is starting to become the norm but once upon a time you had to give a minimum investment of $5000 to get started. I personally use Charles Schwab and Robinhood. I love all of the tools and accounts Schwab has and Robinhood is just easy to use.

2. Sign up: this may take a day or two to finalize, especially with banks but it shouldn’t be a big deal

3. Connect a card or account to transfer funds

4. Buy your first security: I would start off with simply looking up beginner investments on google. I recommend either an ETF, index fund, or choose a company that you have an interest in because you will be more likely to keep up on their news

5. Tip: think long term as a beginner. Sure, once you start learning and understanding you can change your strategy to gain more in a shorter time, but this comes with much more risk. Do not be an idiot and sell all of your stock when you see your investment plummet nor sell as soon as you see it go up a little. The best advice for a beginner: Buy a stock and leave it alone (for YEARS)

Property/Real Estate

There are many ways to invest in real estate-you can buy a property, you can invest in a property fund, you can become a landlord,or you can flip a property. Again, depending on the strategy, will change the risk and reward you have taken on. All of these options are usually on the more cash heavy side but can reap a lot of rewards if done right.

Source to look into:

https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/investing/5-ways-to-invest-in-real-estate

Easy way to get started quickly:

1. Buy a real estate ETF or fund, you can just look this up on google or through your brokerage

2. OR you could look into buying a property near you and renting it out if you have that much cash (Make sure to do your research, this can get pretty complicated)

Art

Also considered property but until recently it was incredibly hard to invest in art without significant cash and contacts available. Now, there are platforms like Masterworks where you can buy a fraction of a piece like a stock of Monet and you get the rise in appreciation. However, it still is for those with money already available, I believe you have to invest a minimum of $2500 to get started on MW.

Sources to look into: https://www.investopedia.com/articles/pf/08/fine-art.asp

Crypto

Cryptocurrencies are digital currencies that are not backed by real or tangible assets or goods, but on the trust and value of the people that use them, and supply and demand. They can be traded like stocks on an exchange and are tracked with a digital ledger on the blockchain. The first cryptocurrency was Bitcoin and the rest that have followed are categorized as altcoins (alternative coins).

The stage of cryptocurrencies we are in is likened to the early 90s with the internet. Not a lot people truly understand the blockchain (the vast ledger space which contains every transaction made securely in encrypted “blocks” that are then “chained” together so that if one block is compromised the whole chain shuts it down.) It is decentralized and written simultaneously on thousands of super computers. The beauty of it is that if one ledger on one computer is somehow hacked or wrong the rest of the computers storing the ledger interrupt and either fix it or shut it down. A way to understand it is blockchain is to the internet as bitcoin is to a website, but the internet runs off people trusting the system, blockchain runs off trusting no one.

The currencies that run on blockchain can have a multitude of purposes, but bitcoin was really just the starting solution to fix the problem of trust on the internet. People wanted a secure, anonymous, untraceable way to spend money online, like cash is in the real world. And while for the most part it is just that, it isn’t completely anonymous. Like in the real world if you buy something from Mcd*nalds with cash that transaction is still recorded in their system and through a receipt. Your crypto transactions are recorded in the blockchain, but most people don’t even know how to access the ledger so for now any ill*cit purchases you make are pretty safe.

I HIGHLY recommend looking into a cryptocurrency course or training just because there is so much that goes into it and lots of details that can help you. This investment is incredibly risky and volatile! I only would suggest investing an amount you are completely comfortable to lose ALL of.

Sources to learn more:

https://www.investopedia.com/cryptocurrency-4427699

Easy to get started quickly (Please dear lord do your research first):

1. Sign up on a crypto exchange like Coinbase or Binance, some brokers (like Robinhood) also allow you to trade crypto but it’s a very limited selection

2. Do lots of research!! (I’m going to say it until you get it, and I don’t think you get it yet)

3. Think of it like stocks, if you read up on the coin and its purpose, and think that it’s going to be useful soon or in the future, then invest

4. Tip: the crypto market moves MUCH faster than the stock market and is much more sensitive. In just these last few days (literally hours) bitcoin was trading at $40,000+, the following day, for whatever reason (people got scared, people wanted to sell to get profits, etc.) it will barely hold $33,000. So, invest wisely!

This is very brief list of the main investments. There is still a lot of depth each of these goes into and especially with things like crypto, information changes 24/7. I hope you have learned by now that you should be continually learning as well. Instead of spending your morning looking at your Instagram feed of bum friends, dusty men, and “models” spend it reading the paper and catching up on the market. Follow investors and billionaires like you follow celebrities and see how much smarter you become. At the end of the day winners focus on winning, losers focus on winners.

With love,

O

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Happy new episode day everyone! 🎉🎉🎉

I wanted to get this out before the episode goes live and I’m hopin o can get everyone else done this week so I can then do a more general costume post for the episode looking at all the characters rather than individual focus! I’m sorry it’s ended up as an Uber long post! As always thanks to all the gif makers who’s gifs I’ve shamelessly stolen to make my mountain of text look prettier and show my points!

As ever this is a continuation of my costume metas which you can read here, here, here and here.

I’m going to look at Christopher in two separate parts - firstly the suit shopping scene because I have a suit Goldilocks theory (and this is partly because kids only wear suits at certain events - not in more day to day and work scenarios like adults!)

- his old suit that he wore to his mother’s funeral is too small.

- new suit he’s trying in to please his fathers girlfriend is too big and doesn’t fit properly (telling that he’s tried on several).

- the next time we see Chris in a suit I expect it to fit him perfectly (Manifesting at Buddies wedding 🤣)

- These suits are a literal metaphor for where Chris is mentally and emotionally and his costuming is important because he’s a character we don’t really often see away from Eddie or Buck.

I’m not saying the old suit is too small because he doesn’t still love his mom, because he absolutely does and he always will, but she can never come back into the picture. We as humans continue to grow and develop and change even, and especially, when we loose someone close to us (I speak from personal experience here - I lost my mum at 18 - I will always love her and she will always be a part of me, but I know I’m a different person than I would’ve been because she is no longer a physical presence in my life providing support and guidance - I wonder if she’d be able to recognise the me I am now.) Chris may not be cognisant of this yet, because he’s still a child, but to us as the audience the suit is a physical representation of his personal growth as well as his physical growth as a child, the fact it doesn’t fit properly shows us he’s not yet there.

The suit shop suit is also showing us, the audience, Christopher’s opinion on Eddieana as a couple - it doesn’t fit and he is manifestly uncomfortable! The only other time we’ve seen him act out in any way when Eddie told him in s4 that he was dating Ana and this suit is a continuation of that.

- an ill fitting suit and it’s interesting that it’s grey - he won’t be the focus of the scene even though other aspects of the mise en scene initially pull you that way (that it’s supposed to be Chris they’re shopping for, shop assistant and everyone are focused on him - except the camera and sound etc) - an aside to say I love the use of mirrors and both Eddie and Chris being seen in reflection - the representation of not being one’s true self (911 uses this concept really effectively- think Bobby getting back into the dating game in s1 and all the times the mirrors on the fire trucks or mirror reflections have been used!) - they are both trying to make the other happy by projecting what they think the other needs - neithers reflection looks comfortable in that moment even though they’re trying - an indication that they’ve not spoken with each other about it, they’re just following along with a projected image!

On to the rest of Christopher’s outfits!

we have no real idea how he felt about the break up - because we haven’t been shown his reaction, but we can make some assumptions based on his clothing. This season Chris has had some different outfit choices from previous seasons and they reflect what I’ve previously said about Buck being in smart and patterned shirts around Taylor. I should also add that the outfits Chris has worn in previous seasons are really interesting in relation to how his personality is developing into a blend of Eddie, Shannon and Buck (I might do an entire post on this alone when I get some time!!) Chris has had 5 scenes thus far and they all reflect his comfort levels (and also to a subconscious extent his fathers) especially related to Ana and Eddie - hard to get a read on anyone else because he’s not really been around anyone else yet.

Green poisonous creatures tee - aside from the rather obvious poisonous creatures, the shirt is green - not quite the army green of Eddie’s, but it’s in that tonal area - he’s going into battle for his dad - the brighter shade is also interesting because it sits in the spectrum between the subtle shades of Eddie (reflecting his quieter more stoic personality) and the brighter tones of Bucks clothing (again reflective of Bucks more outwardly loud personality) - perhaps, and I might be reading more into this than is there, but it’s something I would’ve done, (and the costume designer will have been involved in season arcing conversations so will know where Buddie is headed at this point - lucky Alyana!!) as a way of showing that Chris’s personality is becoming a blend of both Eddie and Bucks - that Chris is prepared to be a it louder when he needs to be - that Chris is the one that drops the info to the Dr about the shooting holds this theory up and it’s his way of fighting for his dad and getting him both some support and for Eddie to acknowledge he needs some help - that it’s being instigated by chris is an important and wonderful thing because Eddie will always do stuff to make sure his son is ok so for them to signal chris is willing to do the same is just amazing and shows the father son bond and all through a t-shirt, never doubt that designers do thing intentionally (even if it’s to play with the audience’s minds). 😍

When Chris and Ana visit the firehouse we see Chris in a pretty formal outfit for a 10 year old considering it’s also a heatwave (we’ve seen Chris in shirts before, he does wear them fairly frequently. When around Ana he never wore t-shirts in previous seasons which makes the green tee from above the exception and the reason why is obvious!). Again the shirt is slightly over sized, but it’s also patterned - the pink and blue check which from a distance reads as a purply red colour and is pretty busy, this all matches what I’ve said previously about Bucks shirts indicating his discomfort around Taylor - formal = not comfortable - putting up a front or presenting an ideal, and the pattern = disordered thinking and lack of mental comfort. All of this is signalling that Chris is not happy being left with Ana so he’s putting up a front. We know if he’s been with Carla he’d have been much more casually dressed - we’ve seen it in previous series, which is why this outfit was so important and jarring!

I can never never never get enough of this hug btw!!

I can’t find a Gif so you’ll have to take my word for it or go watch the (cringe fest of Ana) scene again. Chris’s yellow shirt is an acid almost neon yellow - it’s super bright - the brightest thing in the whole scene by a long way and it’s meant to draw our eye - it’s as much a signpost for us as it is for Eddie - Chris is the way out of the darkness, he is Eddie’s guiding light, a route out of the mental darkness that has preceded, the blackout (which is a metaphor for most of the main characters internal turbulence at this time) and in some ways ties in with the green shirt from the hospital (I wish I could fully see the design on it to see if it revealed more).

We’ve seen Chris in yellow a couple of times, and they’ve been important.

the tsunami - which cemented his bond with Buck, separate from Eddie.

Also at Mays graduation party - where we saw Buck stepping into a fatherly role (mays message board) and cementing the Buckley-diaz family dynamic (that this is happening at a time when we now know Eddie is changing/ has changed his will makes it even more pertinent!).

The blue tee Chris is wearing bed is super interesting to me - this is one of the few times we’ve seen him in a single colour t-shirt (especially when he’s in pyjamas!). Normally Chris is either wearing multi colour tees (such as the striped ones we’ve seen him in previously), patterned pyjamas, or t-shirts that have logos on them. In fact (off the top of my head) the only instance prior to this I can remember Chris wearing a single colour t-shirt is when Eddie comes home from the hospital (and fun fact it was a mini Henley in army green!). There could be several reasons for this - blue is considered a calming colour and Eddie is seeking the calming comfort of his son, he’s not in need of guidance at this point in time (the universe doesn’t need to scream at the moment for more than one reason) so there is no graphic logo (as an aside we don’t even see the solar system mobile in this scene!) also the fact that it’s what I term a ‘jewel’ shade (which is the colour spectrum they tend to put Buck in fyi,) is designed to re-emphasise the importance of Christopher to Eddie - the importance of family.

I can’t wait to see what Chris is wearing in future episodes, his costumes are always so interesting and I’m expecting a return to graphic tees and colour ways that match both Eddie and Buck at different times! I’m definitely going to have to run a closer look at his outfits since S2 in more detail, especially around when he is and isn’t wearing stripes because I have a theory about 911 characters in stripes, but I need to check it holds up I’ve just not had the time to look at it yet!! And one other thing I need - Eddie in yellow, to support another theory I have (and the yellow from the crossover doesn’t count even though it made him look so pretty 😍)

[idontblushsrry]

Haruhi Fujioka||SFW Alphabet

A/N: Making gender neutral Haruhi Fujioka content because she’s criminally underrated in fic

Word Count: 1996

A: Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Haruhi shows her affection by helping you and spending time with you. She’s actually quite affectionate. She’s pretty private with it, especially when the twins are around, but she likes to be held by you, preferring to scoot closer to you to lean her head on your shoulder.

B: Best Friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

As a best friend, Haruhi is really good at giving you logical/calm advice . Like she’s very blunt and to the point and it might hurt your feelings a little but she never does it out of ill will. Also Haruhi is the best for doing random hobbies or going to random places because she’s just like oh ok and she won’t make fun of you or anything. Overall a good best friend to vibe with that’s also hella responsible.

C: Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Haruhi isn’t really big on cuddling. She doesn’t mind it and she’ll cuddle if you want but she’s not one to initiate. The one exception is during storms, Haruhi won’t even say anything to you, she’ll just walk up to you and let you hold her while she’s shaking until she falls asleep.

D: Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Haruhi is literally the spokesperson of domesticity across the world. Ms. girl has a whole recipe book don’t even play. However, while cooking and cleaning were things she picked up out of necessity, she loves you all the more because you do this for her without her even needing to ask.

E: Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

If Haruhi had to break up with you, she’s very solemn about it. It’s almost formulaic like she practiced it 1000x (spoiler alert: she did). She cherishes every moment you both spent together, but she feels it’s best if you remained friends.

F: Fiance(e) (How would they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Haruhi really doesn’t care either way about marriage. She’s not super traditional in the sense that marriage is a deal breaker, but if you do have a wedding, she’d like it to be simple, with your closest friends and family. Do be warned that Ranka will be slightly butt-hurt if you don’t get married, however the fight between her and Tamaki on who gets to walk Haruhi down the aisle is probably worth getting married.

G: Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Physically and emotionally, Haruhi is very gentle and attentive. Physically, she’s very gentle, mainly because she’s unsure of what you’re okay with and the both of you are just getting a feeling for what you want. However, later on in your relationship, she’s still gentle but she gives her affection a lot more openly in a way that’s still secretive, like placing a kiss on your cheek and walking away like nothing happened. Emotionally, Haruhi is very attentive to the emotions of those around her, even if that person is very private or generally good at hiding their emotions. 

H: Hugs( Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?

Haruhi is fine with hugs, she doesn’t really initiate them but she’ll just stand there and let you hug her if you need to. The only time she doesn’t like hugs is when they lead to her being the center of attention and getting hugs from behind. Please don’t hug her from behind, it reminds her of when she got thrown in the ocean during the beach episode and she’s also afraid you might pick her up.

I: I love you (How fast do they say the L-word)

It takes Haruhi quite some time to confess her love to you because admittedly she’s a little dense when it comes to her own feelings. Once she realizes it, it’s all a matter of the perfect time.

J: Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous)

Haruhi’s jealousy is kinda deadpan. Like when she gets jealous, her face just goes blank and she just looks like ‘-_-’ the whole time. She’s silent and won’t make a fuss about it, even if the two of you are alone, but the whole time, she’s making that face until the person she’s jealous of goes away.

K: Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Haruhi’s kisses are polite in a way. She kisses like she’s grateful for the opportunity, she does get a little needy when pulling away. She’s always going on and on about how she could kiss you forever.

L: Little ones (How are they around children)

Around kids, Haruhi is honestly like the best. She’s very practical,, responsible, and pretty good at tuning out things that annoy her (read, the entire Ouran Highschool Host Club minus Mori) so she makes for a good babysitter and an even better parent. She’s also very attentive when it comes to kids, she doesn’t quite have the intuition for it but she has a determination and a willingness to learn.

M: Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings with Haruhi are very sweet. Haruhi and you will get up and make a meal together, even if it’s something simple like toast, Haruhi loves spending time with you, and what better way to do it than a slow morning.

N: Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights with Haruhi are nice, they’re sweet and slow. Haruhi will brew you both a thing of peppermint or chamomile tea and then you’ll be out like a light before you even know it. That’s when the real battle starts. Haruhi can and will snatch the covers from you and she’s surprisingly strong for someone unconscious. Good luck on recovering that blanket friend.

O: Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Haruhi is pretty open already. She is a natural after all, any vulnerabilities she has have been shared and any concerns have been brought up to you as her s/o

P: Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Haruhi’s patience is going to get a 76% rating. She does mind her business and make an effort not to be involved in certain things, but drama and mess always seem to just find her. Haruhi does not like messiness or any form of foolishness or buffoonery at all, she doesn’t care for it and is quick to anger when she comes across it.

Q: Quizzes (How much would they remember about you?  Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Haruhi remembers things about you in order of like responsibility. So she’s like memorizing your allergies, your emergency contacts, clothes and shoe size, etc. like she’s almost like a parent in that regard. She does it almost unconsciously too like one day you’ll be out at some street fair and she’s like “oh no Y/N that’ll trigger your allergies” without even missing a beat like it’s almost terrifying sometimes.

R: Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Her favorite moment in your relationship is when you got tickets for you both to go to a butterfly garden and you proceeded to spend about 20 minutes hyping Haruhi up on her outfit before you even left for the sanctuary. Once you both got there, you took so many pictures of Haruhi surrounded by flowers and butterflies, and honestly she looked ethereal. But that day with you she smiled and laughed so much that her face was a little sore when she got home.

S: Security (How protective are they? How would they like to be protected?)

Please protect this girl, she’s so sweet. Haruhi protects you by just sort of checking on your needs. The way she needs/ deserves to be protected is the real focus. Of course the general looking out for each other, but if you protect Haruhi like emotionally and she’s yours for life. A a kid, despite her dad’s best efforts, Haruhi wasn’t exactly protected, she had to do a lot of fending for herself and her dad, and she doesn’t resent him for that, but it does affect the way she thinks. So if you can prove that you’re a constant source of support for her,,,

T: Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

In terms of her gifts, and any anniversaries, Haruhi is extremely thoughtful. Even if she doesn’t have much money she still plans meticulously to make sure you have the best day. Her gifts tend to lean on the more practical side as opposed to the fanciful side but if she’s able to, she’ll still try to get you something like a charm bracelet. In terms of dates, Haruhi is still meticulous but most of your dates are you two doing some task but together. She tries very hard though to make time in her day for you even if you both only get to spend an hour or 2 together.

U: Ugly (What are some bad habits of theirs? (I’m gonna add arguments here because they aren’t on the prompt list I found))

A bad habit Haruhi has is that she tends to downplay serious issues. She tends to downplay her own issues but on occasion she does tend to downplay your feelings. Not intentionally of course, but you’ll be upset and she’ll just go “Y/N, that seems really small to be so upset about” in that deadpan tone. She does work on it though, but her tendency to downplay issues does cause arguments between you two.

V: Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Haruhi puts in enough effort to impress you. She’s not big on being ‘vain’ but she does like to look nice for you.

W: Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Not at all, in fact, one of Haruhi’s favorite parts of your relationship is that fact that you can both spend time apart and still want to come back home to each other. As much as she loves you, she still has other things in life that she wants outside of you. It fills her with the greatest sense of joy to know that you both have each other’s back and are there for each other after everything.

X: (E)xes (Any previous relationship experience. How does that factor into your current relationship?)

Haruhi canonically has 0 relationship experience and it’s completely her fault. She’s just very goal-oriented and a little oblivious romantically so she can’t really tell when someone likes her unless they tell her at which point she informs them that she’s got shit to do.

Y: Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner)

In general, it takes a lot for Haruhi to genuinely dislike someone as a person. She’s pretty level headed so it takes a lot for her emotions to override her ,mind like that. She tends to have character traits that are more of a no than people that she doesn’t like, a few things get her mad though, are inconsiderateness, thinking the world revolves around you, and of course, rich people.

Z: Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

You got Haruhi a sleeping mask with her initials on them and she sleeps with it pretty much every night. Like she has a schedule, it’s part of her night time routine there’s no going back now, even if she’s going on vacation, she’ll triple-check to make sure she’s grabbed it.

[mr-and-mr-diaz]

I Don’t Understand Buck Begins.

PSA this is a bit of rant. Not a hate-rant or anything like that, but I do express frustration and if you’re not here for that right now, please skip this. It is complicated and ended upa bit long. But if you’re up for it, I’d LOVE to know your thoughts.

I actually want to talk about this with people. I’m not here to drop a statement like a microphone and walk away. The first time I watched Buck Begins, I loved it. I still do. But as I think back on it and rewatch, there are some major issues I’m spotting:

1. Buck in his whole life has been endangering himself in order to get the attention (dare I say LOVE) of those around him. I feel like the Firefam’s (very OOC) responses to him recklessly endangering himself again only enforced these destructive habits?

2. Firefam’s OOC reaction: In literally every other episode, when Buck recklessly endangers himself the firefam immediately put the brakes on, tell Buck to treasure himself, not to be reckless, to think things through, to realize that the victim got out because of sheer good luck (as well as hair-brained thinking on Buck’s part, but some of Buck’s decision making also really endangered him, more on that later.) The fact that Bobby let Buck work that fire at all in the state of mind he was in is odd. The fact that Hen told him he was for whatever reason correct in choosing to split from the party and go on his own in his current state of mind was beyond odd. Looking back, it doesn’t feel like real moments, but rather contrivances dressed in nice words like “I don’t this often but you’re right” (NO HE’S F**KING NOT!!) so that we wouldn’t question them immediately. Was Buck correct that the other team needed anotehr man? Yeah. Was he right that it should be him? NOPE. Anyone could see that, we could see that, the Firefam could see that. but they let him go anyway. This is OOC, they’re smarter than that, and they’ve known Buck for long enough to know when he’s triggered and more likely to make poor decisions. During it, when Buck disobeys orders and Bobby is calmly just like “Yeah he does that sometimes.” I’m sorry, did someone put Xanax in Bobby’s coffee? Why on earth would he be so calm?? In a normal situation he would never be calm about that--add to it the fact that he KNEW Buck wasn’t at his most stable at the moment? He should have been shouting into his radio and hauling ass, not shrgging and smiling with pride like “Yup! It’s cool with me” like what?? Then afterward, nothing but kind words and praise. Good job risking your life like an idiot, good job risking the other guy because you were so determined to get him out asap you didn’t stop to think. That’s what you do, Buck. 

Like did they really just say that!?

The only nuance that I thought was right here, the only thing that was given emphasis that felt RIGHT, was not that Buck stays behind, not that he makes reckless decisions sometimes, not that he jumped into a fire while unstable, THE ONLY THING that should have been emphasized here, that the episode should have been based on? Is that BUCK DOESN’T GIVE UP. There’s a quality in him that we’ve seen before. one that Buck doesn’t seem to realize about himself. Athena’s moment was the only moment that looking back gives me any kind of cathartsis, because it is the only healthy reaction from the firefam that I saw (aside from them all running in after him--still love that moment.) they should’ve been gentle baout it, but nonetheless should’ve told Buck to treasure himself more, not be like “And here’s our most rekless memeber, pat on the back, kid, we love that you throw yourself into danger without thinking, in fact that’s what we love most about you!” Thinking back, I could SCREAM that that’s the message they left Buck with.

3. The victim: Let’s face it, the only reason the victim didn’t die is because the writers didn’t want him to. They made sure the tank landed somewhere non-fatal so that Buck could still get a win, even though many of his decisions thus far had been hare-brained and ill-advised, driven by a mad need to prove himself, and to never leave people behind, even if stopping and waiting and thinking might be more advisable at some points. In fact, when the victim first falls, and buck wakes up and he looks at him and I thought the victim was dead, first of all I was really sad for the victim, but I also felt like that was the right way to go. Buck’s decision making wasn’t sound, he wasn’t thinking straight, he went in anyway, by all rights the only reason the victim stayed alive after everything he went through was because the writers wanted him to stay alive which they followed with a big and in my opinion inappropriate Pat on the back Moment. The victim dying would’ve been tragic, but it would’ve driven home a lesson for buck, that hurting himself, endangering himself isn’t the answer, won’t always save the day. It would’ve taught Buck (harshly yes, but) that he needs to get his head  on straight in this job. And if he had lost teh victim and the firefam had been there for him anyway, it would’ve been a whole different scenario.

In the episode, while it was super sweet and had some incredible moments, Buck learns nothing, his relationship with the Firefam doesn’t actually change at all, and his relationship with his family doesn’t appear to have actually progressed. He’s still prioritizing them over himself (bringing the parents into therapy since well, they’re trying which is apparently enough now), he’s now been encouraged to continue the reckless streak of self-sacrificing decision making that he’s been on in the past in order to gain teh love and recognition of the poeple around him.

I wish the writers had placed focus, not on Buck being accepting, not on Buck being restless, but on Buck not giving up. We saw bits of that yeah, but it wasn’t as highlighted as Buck ebing reckless and feeling overall like he’s not enough. I wish the episode had been centered there, and they had created an entirely different scenario start-to-finish that (like in Eddie begins, where there were no contrivances, the only reckless thing he does--cutting the line--is something that there isn’t a quetsion in a single brain he WOULD do and should do) where Buck is level-headed, where he’s in some kind of scenario where only he could uniquely succeed in because he never gives up. This episode had bits of it here and there, but ultimately what was running teh day was buck vulnerabilities, not his strengths. Insead of pointing out where Buck shines (like the other Begins episodes), they really only further highlighted what his weaknesses are and then proceeded to have the people around him encourage those weaknesses. Like, what?!

I also think this was the moment to solidify the firefam as his family. Instead, we see Buck retreating back toward a very unhealthy family situation and the firefam remains where they always are. What they did for buck in this episode was something incredible, but it’s also something they would do for any member of the firefam. What I wanted was for the firefam to show up for Buck in a way that he uniquely needs. How, I don’t know--perhaps taking a jab at his loneliness, surprising him with a dinner party at the loft, whatever. Something that told Buck “we see your pain, we see how tough your parents are, how you and Maddie need family who will show up and treasure you no matter what (WHICH BTW INCLUDES YELING AT YOU WHEN YOU’VE BEEN AN IDIOT AND TELLING YOU TO PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CRAP DON’T ENDANGER YOURSELF LIKE THAT AGAIN, PLEASE VALUE YOURSELF), that’s what Buck needed. An episode that would help him learn to treasure himself, believe in himself more, love the fact that he never gives up about himself, learn that dangerous stunts and running into things without thinking because he bleives that’s what gets him love is incorrect and unecessary. We didn’t get any of that. The episode was also trying to kill two birds with one stone, which brings me to my last point:

4. Framing Buck Begins around the sibling’s relationship, while GORGEOUS (seriously LOVED these moments they did and the casting was amazing, and both JLH and OS played their younger selves to perfection) I wish had been placed in a completely different episode. They didn’t belong here in an episode of Buck learning about himself. And because of the amount of airtime they took up, we ended up with an episode where Buck doesn’t really learn about himself in the end. Everything remains largely external instead of internal.

All in all, I feel like we need another Buck Begins episode to right the wrongs of this one. Nothing has been solved or fixed. Buck’s relationships remain pretty much the same going in as they do leaving. He has found no peace, no resolution (except in confirmation that Maddie loves him, which is nice, but largely external) he is still fuled by the belief that reckless behavior is what wins him teh love and attention of those around him.

This frustrates me to no end. If you feel like Buck Begins did scratch every itch for you, I’d love to talk and see your perspective as well, because I hate this itchy feeling of dissatisfaction and I dearly hope I’ve missed something here.

Anyway sorry this got so long. Didn’t realize I had QUITE so many thoughts until I started writing and then shit happened. If you made it to the end, thank youa nd I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts, whether you agree or disagree.

[kdramachitchat]

Yumi's Cells Episode 3 Recap - First impressions always count. Yumi and Woong heads out to a homecooked meal restaurant & a frog festival on their first date.

Episode 3 of Yumi’s Cells begins with Yu-mi forcing herself to laugh through Gu-Woong’s awful jokes. Thankfully their coffee is ready and Emotion Cell as livid, with Gu-Woong keeping the conversation flowing by discussing what he’s working on back home. Gu-Woong is a game maker and showed the game about puppies and looks like Yumi is interested.

In Cell Land Hunger strikes. And just in time too given Emotion and the other cells are so tired. Hilariously, Hunger plays the belly pipe which is what causes her stomach to grumble.

Gu-Woong hears this but pretends he doesn’t, tells her it's already dinner time and invites  Yu-Mi to join him at a restaurant of his choice. In fact, she absolutely loves the food there too, downing the dishes. He even let her take the first bite too, he's polite and it seems that Yu-Mi is totally impressed with the food enjoying everything.

This is enough to win over a lot of the cells – except Emotion and Anxious Cell. She keeps her guard up despite Gu-Woong hitting all the right notes. On the otherhand, Anxious Cell is worried about Yu-Mi's blouse getting ruined with the boiling dish that may splatter on her. Before she even took the first bite, Woong is fast enough and gave her a apron. He's a total gentleman. The Cells are impressed that he's considerate, Emotions still dont like him and Anxious does. He has good manners. They both enjoy home-cooked restaurants too which both of them appreciate. Even Fashion Cell likes what he wore its elaborately calculated as a perfect effortless look. Hahaha. Fashion Cell instantly likes him so does the rest of the Cells cept for Emotion.

Well i think first impressions are always the most important. With my second impression of Woong, i love how he ignored the grumble of her stomach to try not to embarrass her he politely solved the situation which is considered a plus point for me. 

After the meal, Woong caught Yu-Mi who's about to pay for their meal but Woong stopped her and tells her that she'll pay, while accidentally holding her hand. The Cells started floating on air like they're on cloud 9.

Woong suggests they go to the park and check out the frogs. The date went so well and she's totally not into the frog festival. Though the Cells are having fun and wants to go but not Emotion. Woong pays for the entrance tickets and the ticket lady mentions that they get a discount if they're a couple. Woong says no and Yu-Mi says they are. Woong ended up surprised. The ticketlady gave them headbands to upload on social media and they'll get even more discounts if they take the headband.

While there, one of the workers asks if they’re a couple. While a bit awkward to begin with, Finance kicks in for Yu-Mi and focuses on how much money she can save if she says yes. Well, one thing leads to another and the pair snap a couple photo together, which Yu-Mi decides to put up on social media.

This act attracts the attention of Ru-Bi, who immediately rings Gu-Woong and asks what’s going on. Woong ends their conversation quickly and keeps his focus on Yu-Mi. Nosy Ruby needs to get her thoughts away from Yu-Mi like she's obsessed with who she dates. Woong tells her that Ru-Bi is weird because she talks to him in 3rd-person and Yu-Mi laughed at his comment. She laughed for real this time, finally. Emotion is pissed and wants to go home, Anxious is worried about Ru-Bi. Woong tells her that he can't really lie and says it like he means it. I like him. The Cells does too, he's honest, polite, considerate. All good factors. Emotion Cell is now impressed and decides not to use the robot doll cell.

With the date going so well and Yu-Mi impressed by Woong's compliments she decided to treat him and buy popcorn. Woong tells her that she doesn't have to be grateful when he told her she's cute its because he's honest. The Cells like him too as long as he doesn't do those awkward jokes and they all approve. Hysterius Cell shows up in Cell land and presses the mood lever down, sending Yu-Mi into a depressive downward spiral. Because of this, she suddenly skips out and decides to go home. This is just terrible. The date was doing so and its all Hysteriuis Cell's fault. For once i'm actually mad at a Cell, i don't think i'm going to like him very much.

Things all got very awkward when they both head home. Woong tried to make her laugh with his dad jokes but Yu-Mi wasn't feeling well and head up to the bus. She wants to save herself from heartache like her past relationships. After the date, Woong sees Saeyi heading home and tells her that he likes Yu-Mi. Once he got back, this terrible parting effected Woong too and he's worried that she's not replying to his messages. Meanwhile, in Woong's Cell land a imaginary Yu-Mi has taken over. Like she's all he's thinking about. Woong waits for her texts and looks like he was about to tear up. He immediately heads online to search reasons for her not replying during their first date. With Hysteria still attacking Cell land, Emotion, Fashion and Anxious Cells reach out to Reason Cell. Reason Cells tell them that Hysteria Cell is afraid that Yu-Mi may struggle and will hurt again. They all find a solution and it's Hunger Cell they can rely on. Yu-Mi looses her appetite, lays down and didn't bother replying to Woong. They don't want to think that Woong was rejected by her.

Jumps to conclusions finding reasons as to why she's not replying. Goes on forums to find comments, he thinks about what he has done during their blind date. He believes it’s his beard.  Even asked advice from Louis and he tells Woong that her not replying means he's dumped. On her way to work, she misses her bus and sits down on the bench seeing the candy that Woong gives her on her back. The lights went back on Cells land after she ate the candy. Yu-Mi eventually messages to let him know she’s okay and had fun. Sigh of relief. So it's definitely a misunderstanding on his part because Yu-Mi fell asleep. Woong decided to shave his beard that morning! Sae-Yi is surprised that Woong shaved his beard with the reason being it's a sign of a man's pride but he didn't give a exact reason for him to do so. It just shows that Woong likes her alot.

Yu-Mi messages Woong and tells him to get to work safetly and Woong is happy. Woong messages back and lets her know that he’s shaved his beard. Hilariously, Yu-Mi ended up confused but really didn't care if he did, thinking it's probably one of his jokes.  Even the Cells are confused thinking it's probably slang or something bad. Fashion Cells takes it literally and is impressed once again.

While on the way to work after the bus, Ru-Bi annoys her once again asks about her date. She needs to stop with her nosy attitude. Yu-Mi is stressed and wants to ignore Ru-Bi, so she skipped the elevator and went up the stairs. The office found out about her blind date and her office mates are being nosy. She's stressed about the situation and so are the cells who are wanting for Ru-Bi to shut her mouth. It's a headache and the cells village is about to blow up. The whole day Yu-Mi hasn't eaten and Hunger Cell isn't doing well.

Woong texting Yumi asking her if she has any plans. After Yu-Mi telling him that she doesn't have plans after work. Woong replies back and asks her out on a dinner date. Before she can even reply, a staff who's in a hurry bumped into Yu-Mi, which led Yu-Mi’s phone to break. Urgh. Can the day get any worst? 2nd date please and poor Woong. Yu-Mi is contemplating on pursuing with him and is letting out her feelings to a co-worker. She's afraid to feel hurt, tells her co-worker that her phone broke because it's a sign of the universe for her to not see him anymore.

Woong seeks council from Sae-Yi and Louis, who checks out the text messages and believes that Yu-Mi wanted to end the conversation because of her sentence structures but he didn’t get the hint, making him look clingy and uncomfortable. As the trio about to head out, Woong stays in and tells Sae-Yi that he doesn't condemn to people telling him what to do and that he's slow-witted. That's just the way he is. He knows himself well.

At work, Yu-Mi feels ill she excuses herself to her boss and decides to go home. It's raining outside and she didn't bring an umbrella.  Ru-Bi follows her out of the building and suggests she ring Woong using her number and let him know. After all her pent up frustration, she let it out on Ru-Bi and tells her it's enough. Ru-Bi says that she's just trying to help because she supports them both. Hysteria Cell on the other hand is enjoying this and wants her to release all her negative emotions.

Yu-Mi admitted that she’s always been alone – and will continue to be alone because that's what makes her comfortable. Can someone give Yu-Mi a hug? As they talk, Woong suddenly shows up with an umbrella. Yu-Mi turns and looks at him with amazement. Her knight and shining armor.

[hybbat]

Still not over episode 42 and how good and also kinda refreshing it was.

Like Daruizen very clearly has one of those designs and prominence among his fellow generals that instantly from the first opening seems to indicate he’ll be That villain that gets redeemed and switches sides and soft-shipped with the main cure or at the very least is revealed to be tragic and redeemed in death as another victim of the villain, but nah.

He doesn’t, and was never going to. If he ever was in some draft of the show they scrapped due to COVID like some folks seem adamant on believing it’s only the result imo of the writers getting a chance to sit down and think “but could he realistically be redeemed without it being just an expected story beat?” and the answer being no.

In fact in hindsight he’s the worst of the generals. Guaiwaru had ambitions to become the new king of the byo-gens and run things his way so it makes sense what he’s doing. Shindoine is genuinely in love with king byo-gen and his biggest enabler so it makes sense what she’s doing. Daruizen? He’s there because why not. He has the least motivation of all the villains, in a way is the most shallow because despite his desire to remain sapient he only uses it to do exactly what he would do otherwise, just with the knowledge that it’s his choice to do so. Daruizen’s motivation is essentially he wants to make sure his evil acts are completely willing on his part.

All three generals this seasons ended up actually getting evenly fleshed out despite people’s focus on Daruizen simply because his story was more directly tied to Cure Grace, actually, and all three represent very toxic people. Guaiwaru is your classic ambition villain who wants to be the leader but is just not cut out for it and ends up being a bad boss, even int he eyes of the villains, and no idea on how to actually lead as he basically just keeps doing what he did before but more because he’s more powerful. He isn’t even that effective as the girls have no trouble once they actually can confront him. Shindoine is obviously a toxic enabler who supports an evil person’s actions and is ok with being used, and clearly expects others to be okay with doing the same.

Daruizen is literally just a leech. He barely does anything, he only does his work when he feels like it, and is generally just a horrible person. Daruizen, if he were a real person, would be the kind of person who introduces himself with his IQ score and talk about how he’s a “realist” and misanthropist, especially with the way he talks to Grace. The only thing that excites him is in fact being a dick and he liked the cures and Cure Grace in particular specifically because he could get under their skin and demean them. He’s someone who only ever contributes negatively and tries to beat other people down because he’s miserable and the only thing that makes him happy is making other people feel as miserable as him.

And he never once shows remorse or willingness to change, right up to the end where he gaslights Grace to make her think she’s selfish for being scared of him and not wanting to help him after everything he’s done. Throughout the whole show she constantly asks him “why are you doing this?” and his answer NEVER changes, and he even starts to get angry that she doesn’t see why but he can’t really give a real answer other than “it’s what I do/why not?” Finding out he was born from Grace’s illness and the pain he caused her never once makes him paused, the only emotion he seems to show is happiness that he caused her so much trauma.

The ONLY regret he ever expresses is when he realizes his behaviour and decisions have screwed him over. He finally gets a taste of his own pessimism and hatred in the people he deemed worthy of his company due to sharing those traits- whom he also frequently treated as lesser for not being as smart as him and having their own personal ambitions they put effort into- when they showed their willingness to treat him exactly the same way they’ve treated everyone else. Basically, he realized he isn’t an exception or special in any way, he’s just another general.

He never expresses regret for his actions or his thinking in any other way other than it bit him in the butt, and even then he doesn’t let go of them. He just wants to hide away at the expense of someone else without any sacrifice on his own part, until his problem goes away. When he doesn’t get his way he literally throws a temper tantrum and tries to beat up Grace while telling her its her fault for denying him. and he STILL doesn’t have any real answers for her, when she gives him a chance to convince her and lays out the issues she has. He never had an answer, he only thought of himself and he thought himself superior for doing so and thus his right to take advantage of the inferior folks who are obviously too stupid to realize helping people is pointless, even while trying to rely on it.

We’ve all met that exact type of person, especially on the internet or perhaps a teenager going through that sort of phase where they think they’re so much smarter than their peers so they don’t have to do anything but everyone should do everything for them.

And like literally every other villain in precure he’s given a chance to redeem himself, they give him several in fact. Daruizen is straight up just a villain who winds up deciding not to take it. He acts like he wants to to save his own skin but he never has any real intent of being redeemed. Despite physically evolving Daruizen is someone who is wilfully static and nothing anyone does reaches him.

Honestly all the generals are like that, none of them can find it in themselves to let go of their flaws and grow as people rather than as byo-gen. Despite their sapience none of them ever actually grow into fully fleshed out people, they all cling to their flaws as their core identities.

It’s not surprising that unlike other seasons’ generals who wind up figuring out their own villainous way to work together by watching the cures, this season’s generals rarely worked together and the few times they did being used to cement their opinion that they can’t, and in the end stabbed each other in the back one after the other. Their combined power only comes together when King Byo-gen absorbs them.

In the end the message send by ALL of the byo-gen generals was “sometimes no matter what you do, some people are just toxic and are not asking for your help.” And in Daruizen’s case, it is also “You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for their sake when you know it won’t do anything but hurt you and enable them.” Daruizen never met anyone half way, and he never asked for help to be a better person, only to dodge the consequences of his actions. When asked if he would still be the way he was after the help he didn’t reply, because the answer would be yes and they both knew it.

All the generals somewhat subverted the expectations of the stock character they were built from tbh; the ambitious but stupid Guaiwaru actually went through with and briefly succeeded in becoming the big bad, Shindoine’s value as a loyal minion was seen by the villain despite her also suggesting the act that in any other similar character would be the thing that made them realize they were being used, and Daruizen never let himself be redeemed, all of which cement each of them as legitimate complete villains that weren’t changing. None of the generals were willing to change because none of them saw what they did as a problem, they just saw themselves as superior and it to be their right to treat other people poorly. Daruizen was no different from the other two, and unlike them he didn’t even have a reason, he simply decided he was too smart to be good.

[catrasredemption-moved]

What would you say to refute those who insist that Catra’s redemption arc was “rushed”, and also solely focused on Adora?

That they didn’t watch season four.

No, seriously, I know season four is Catra’s most villainous season, but it’s also the season that completely breaks her down, which is a really important part of redemption. You don’t just wake up one day and decide to be good, it’s a process. And part of that process is realizing that the path you’re on now isn’t right, isn’t good for you, isn’t good for the people around you. Catra’s always thought known she’s the bad guy in Adora’s heroic story, but when she really and truly committed to the role, she realized it wasn’t what she wanted, and that began the process of breaking down every single thing she thought she knew.

By the end of the season she was mostly a broken mess, which carried into season five, where she did the only thing she knew how to do - played the villain to stay alive. But she’s clearly not that into it - sure, she puts on her little villain swagger after the dinner with Horde Prime and Glimmer, but she buckles the minute he calls her on it.

Catra: Neat trick, with all the footage of her friends in danger. These princesses are so predictable with their feelings.

Prime : As were you.

Catra:  ...What?

Prime: Elevated heart rate, dilated pupils... Adora means something to you.

Catra: No. She doesn't. She chose her side, I chose mine. ...She means nothing to me.

Yup, veeeeeeeeeeery convincing, Catra. Totally believe you. She couldn’t even hold out when Glimmer was going at her.

Glimmer: Don't pretend you're any better off than I am right now. You might be on the other side of this force field, but you're as alone as I am.

Catra: The Horde's the Horde...even in space. As long as I'm of value to Horde Prime, I've got a place in this world. I can work my way up here, just like I did before.

Glimmer: Is that really what you want? We both saw what happened to Hordak. Do you really think you can come out on top?

Actually watch Catra through these scenes. You can tell her heart isn’t in it. Not like it was before, when she was fighting Adora, crashing Princess Prom, taking over the Crimson Waste, etc. People who think she’s actually a villain in the first episodes of season five are really not paying attention.

“But she told Horde Prime about Adora coming to rescue Glimmer!”

Be absolutely real for a minute. Prime knew it was Adora. A ship taking off from Etheria while he has their queen held hostage? Of course Adora was coming. It wasn’t a matter of if, just when. If Catra could figure out it was Adora, then Prime certainly could as well. Catra played her part to stay alive, talking to Glimmer, confirming what Prime already knew, and so on. She was already on the edge - realizing that all she wanted was Adora was what drove her over, pushed her to save Glimmer and Adora and sacrifice herself in the process.

And to her, that’s where her story was supposed to end. “It doesn’t matter what you do to me. Glimmer is gone, and you will never get your hands on Adora!” That, for probably the first time in a long time, wasn’t an act or false bravado. Catra was absolutely convinced that sending Glimmer away would keep Adora safe. And once he didn’t have a use for Catra, Horde Prime would just kill her. Because Hordak taught her that useless things were thrown away, and Catra made herself useless by turning on Horde Prime. This was the end of her story, and at least she could say she went out doing one heroic thing.

Except.

Horde Prime didn’t kill her, and Adora came back for her, and suddenly Catra had this entire life in front of her that she didn’t know what to do with. She had no focus. She didn’t care about survival, and there was no one to impress. How was she supposed to care about her life when there was nothing left in it?

And that’s where Adora comes in. Adora made her want to live. Adora gave her that spark of life, figuratively and literally. Adora made her want to be better.

And there’s nothing wrong with that! No one in this show ever changed for a selfless reason, except maybe Adora. Scorpia left the Horde because she wanted to rescue Entrapta (and sooth her own guilt in the process), Entrapta left the Princess Alliance for Science, Glimmer used the Heart of Etheria because she wanted to prove she could win and she was powerful, Shadow Weaver left the Horde because Hordak (and Catra) turned on her, etc. etc. People need motivation to change. Being a better person for Adora was Catra’s motivation.

Adora also wasn’t Catra’s only focus. She took tentative steps - she jumped in front of Glimmer and Bow on Krytis to protect them when she thought Melog was a threat, she approached Netossa to reassure her about Spinnerella, she lowkey let herself be vulnerable for a minute with Perfuma, she offered help and advice where she could.

Another thing I think people forget is that Catra wasn’t exactly comfortable with the Rebellion because she didn’t know her place in it. She hangs back during the reunion scene in An Ill Wind and is surprised when Adora tells her to come meet everyone, because she’s currently surrounded by people who hate her and that’s nerve-wracking after living in a state of pur paranoia for at least a year. Adora is familiar. Adora is her comfort.

So yeah, a lot of Catra’s redemption arc is focused on Adora, but there’s nothing wrong with that, and it doesn’t change the fact that she came out a far better person on the other side - someone that everybody could, in theory, like. Hell, Frosta and Perfuma even hugged her when Scorpia was holding her.

Honestly, I don’t think Catra’s arc is done. I mean, I know the show is over, but it ended with her at a very important point in her life - a point where she had a chance to prove she was better, to earn forgiveness (if people wanted to give it, and they would be absolutely justified if they didn’t), to find her new place in the world as more than a tool for someone else to use and throw away. Viewing her redemption as having a definitive beginning and a definitive end is kind of a disingenuous way of seeing things, tbh. Catra’s still changing and learning to be a better person even at the very end. That’s okay. And it’s okay if she leans on Adora to help her through it while she tries to find her footing in the new world. She doesn’t have to do that alone - or anything else alone, ever again.

[arcaneranger]

Final Thoughts - 2019 Long Shows

Dear Lord. This is where all the good shows went.

2019 was absolutely awful on a season-by-season basis (except for Summer, anyway), but that’s mostly because most of the best shows ran longer than what has become the industry norm of a single season. And indeed, heading into the new decade, we seem to be seeing a major renaissance for two- or split-cour shows, given the massive success seen by shows like My Hero Academia, Food Wars, and Haikyuu!!..particularly in comparison to the new perpetual-runners Black Clover (which, despite running for over two straight years now, is still not the most popular show of Fall 2017 by viewer count on MAL, and sits at a ‘meh’ 7.2), and even worse, Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, which is faring even worse on both counts even though it premiered two whole seasons earlier and the fact that it is the sequel to Naruto.

As a reminder of my rules, the shows on this list may or may not have premiered in 2019, but they finished airing this year. The split-cour rule (stating that I judge any show that “finishes” and then premieres a “new season” within six months) didn’t come into play for any 2018 shows, but it will for Ascendance of a Bookworm and Food Wars this year, at the very least.

With that being said! 25 shows running longer than thirteen episodes finished airing this year after being simulcast, and of those…

I skipped 6:

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Part V: Golden Wind, Fairy Tail Final Series, A Certain Magical Index III, Ace Attorney Season 2 and Cardfight Vanguard (2018) because I either dropped or have not finished their previous (also long-running) seasons.

Yu-Gi-Oh VRAINS because the simulcast started late and also it was bad.

I Dropped 8:

Worst Long Show of 2019: The Rising of the Shield Hero

It’s always fun to see that a show you hated from its first episode only gets more and more distasteful afterwards, but it’s less fun when a service you have to promote because they’re the legal option is forced to shove it down your throat because they had a hand in making it and it became a massive hit that your friends don’t see any issue with because the author wrote a story that justifies its hero’s patronage of the slave industry. This is my punishment for watching the whole first season of The Asterisk War before I knew better.

YU-NO: A girl who chants love at the bound of this world

A confusing mess from the word go, this ill-fated adaptation of a visual novel from the nineties seems like it was mostly made to cash in on the popularity of the Science Adventure series, but failed to present itself in a way that made an ounce of sense or looked remotely interesting.

Fairy Gone

Am I really the only one that saw potential here? I mean yes, it ended up a boring slog that didn’t care to move its plot in a meaningful direction, but the first episode was at least cool. I guess Izetta: The Last Witch should have taught me better.

We Never Learn

I know that I’m in the minority in terms of the male demographic for shows like this, but honestly, how are bland harem shows still this easy to market? A copy-pasted protagonist with copy-pasted waifus drag down what could be an interesting setup for a story. 

Karakuri Circus

The first episode of this one had me excited, the second and third left me bored to tears and wondering if it would continue to look uglier by the minute. I haven’t seen a three-cour show look this janky since Knight in the Area.

Radiant

Having heard good things about this show from my cohorts, I do feel bad for saying I’ll probably never return to Radiant, but when you have a show that’s notably written by a European author...and it turns out to be a frustratingly standard shounen affair with middling production values, well, you can see my earlier annoyance with Cannon Busters.

Ensemble Stars

This one still gets to me. It almost looked like a male-idol show I would finally be able to get behind, what with its rebellious attitude and oddball setting...that is, until the setting got to be too unbelievable and the show began drowning its audience in side-characters because they had to squeeze every husbando from the mobile game into the story, and it all began to resemble UtaPri a little too much...but without the production value.

Boogiepop and Others

This was a hard drop, honestly. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how I felt four episodes in, before concluding that I was bored and not particularly invested, two things that should never describe the experience of watching a Madhouse show. The fact that this was the project responsible for ruining One Punch Man only made it worse. There’s a slow burn, and then there’s walking away without turning the stove on.

And I Finished 11 (holy crap that’s like three hundred episodes just on their own).

That Time I Was Reincarnated as a Slime (5/10 & 1/10)

I’ll be honest, I had forgotten just how livid I was with the ending (and especially the sad excuse of a recap episode) of Slimesekai, and reading back through my write-up of it, it’s certainly coming back to me. While this year had bigger demons to fight (Shield Hero), the bad taste that Slime left me with hasn’t really faded, and the wasted premise bugs me to this day.

Hinomaru Sumo (7/10)

What Hinomaru lacked in production value, it happily made up for in good execution and earnest heart. I can’t believe this came from the same studio as Conception, Try Knights and 7Seeds, but if they can only get out one good show a year, I’m glad that we got one bringing attention to a sport that many will joke about but few understand, respect and appreciate.

Kono Oto Tomare (7/10)

Speaking of giving love to traditional Japanese culture, here’s a decent-if-unoriginal show about a local high school koto club down on their luck, and the troubled teens coming together under a scrappy protagonist to bring it back to life. Kono Oto Tomare doesn’t have much that you haven’t seen before, but a decently-executed club drama with Your Lie In April-inspired musical performances is more than enough to keep me interested, and since Forest of Piano kinda crashed and burned under the weight of its own self-importance this year, it was nice to have an alternative.

MIX: Meisei Story (8/10)

It’s hard to judge MIX next to the other shows on this list because it’s almost too old-school for its own good, revelling in an eighties storytelling style that didn’t end up jiving with a wide audience this year. But at the same time, its fun character dynamics (and a very good dub from Funimation, despite them saying they’d never touch sports anime again) were very entertaining to watch, even if it didn’t focus as much on the sport it was supposedly about as much as I’d have liked.

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (8/10)

I fully admit that I’m very salty about the fact that this won Show of the Decade in Funimation’s poll while it was still on and I thought there were hundreds of more deserving shows, but I can’t deny that Demon Slayer was a very enjoyable experience, albeit one that I had notable problems with. That’s not gonna stop me from getting mad when it sweeps the Anime Awards in a few weeks, though.

Fire Force (8/10)

I was very afraid that David Productions wouldn’t be able to match the energy of Studio Bones’ adaptation of Ohkubo’s previous work, Soul Eater, but I was happy to be proven wrong. Even if the last few episodes contained a bit too much infodumping, it was all sandwiched between jaw-dropping fight scenes that proved that the people who make Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure can still handle the reins of a more traditional action show.

Fruits Basket 1st Season (8/10)

I know that my score for this one is a bit lower than others, but I think that Fruits Basket did pretty well in its first season, considering that it was largely spent setting up future storylines and adapting the part of the manga we’d all seen before, but with much higher production value. I’ve been familiar with this part of the story for over a decade, and the scene with Tohru and Kyo (you know the one) still made me cry. Now, we get the real plot going.

Dr Stone (9/10)

A great start to a totally new spin on shounen, Dr Stone gives me hope for survival in the post-Shokugeki world in which we’ll soon live, as a show that wears its research on its sleeve. A complex plot weaving interesting characters in and out of a narrative surrounding a philosophical battle where both sides actually do have fair points (even if one of them is going about it in a pretty cruel manner). More please.

Vinland Saga (9/10)

Once again, a great start to what will hopefully be years of quality storytelling, Vinland Saga made it seem like it was dragging in the middle only to reveal just what its slow burn had been leading up to, with twist-heavy storytelling and a fantastic cast to match the high visual quality of its brutal battles.

Run With the Wind (9/10)

It’s not often that Production I.G. gets to make a complete, fully-realized show anymore, and this one was a glorious reminder of the potential of the studio in the TV space, and a great rebound for the director of Joker Game. It’s gorgeous to look at, the cast is wonderful, and the story is both realistic and idealistic in a satisfying balance. It’s a miserable process to get to the finish line in real life, but sitting back and watching this was nothing but a treat. At least, until a minor fumble at the end.

Best Long Show of 2019: Dororo (9/10)

Speaking of complete stories, Tezuka Productions and MAPPA teamed up for a breathtaking adaptation of an underappreciated Tezuka classic that expands upon the story in exactly the right way to create a thrilling, savage, beautiful masterpiece that focuses a laser-sharp eye into the relationship between two characters in their journey to, literally and figuratively, become complete people. Also, that opening was killer.

And that’s it! That’s the fun list. Next comes the painful one. Stay tuned for the trash heap.

[notbang]

the pursuit of happiness

or, an examination of happiness and the chase as recurring motifs in the character development of Rebecca Bunch and Nathaniel Plimpton

rethaniel appreciation week day 2 → pursuit

I could write a small novel cataloguing the endless parallels between these two—I have, in fact, thought about attempting it many times—but honestly the list is so long and varied and sprouts off in so many different directions that I’ve yet to think of a logical way to go about it. Which is why for the time being, I’m choosing to focus instead—in some degree of detail—on this particular mirrored thread between them.

As our protagonist, Rebecca functions as a major catalyst for change in West Covina, and just as surely as she stumbles along in her journey we see the (for the most part) positive effects of her friendship on those around her. With perhaps the sole exception of White Josh, all of the characters end the show as happier and healthier iterations of themselves, with many of the major aspects of their growth traceable to their involvement with Rebecca in some way. Nathaniel is no exception to this rule; arguably, his development, more so than any other character’s, is directly tied to Rebecca’s influence on his life. The main difference here lies in the fact that he moves to town good a season and half after her—putting him that much further behind in his inevitable development.

One of the major, ongoing setbacks Rebecca faces over the course of the show is her tendency to conflate happiness, or personal fulfilment, with romantic love, and more specifically, for the first half of the series at least, conflating it with a single person. Nathaniel, by comparison, at the time of our introduction to him, has little interest in the concept at all, something Rebecca is quick to sympathise with in 2x09—‘You know Nathaniel, I used to be a lot like you. Ruthless. But then one day I was crying a lot, and I decided to flip things around. Decided to put happiness before success. And when I did that, the world rewarded me with true happiness.’ Nathaniel doesn’t verbally dismiss the sentiment, but the wealth of facial expressions he supplies in response suggest what he thinks of that: happiness is frivolous, and he doesn’t have space for it in his busy schedule.

Nathaniel, probably: Sounds fake but okay.

In the season two theme Rebecca declares that as a girl in love, she can’t be held responsible for her actions, and the sweeping duet Nothing Is Ever Anyone’s Fault follows a similar thread of eschewing culpability. While this certainly works to help dismiss a season’s worth of questionable behaviour from the two of them—including, but not limited to, infidelity and conspiracy to murder—I’m not convinced the touted concept behind the song—that Nathaniel has learned the wrong lesson from being in love with her, as explained in post-finale interviews at the time—flies in the face of our understanding of Nathaniel’s character thus far. As a rich, straight, white, cis male whose privilege the show has only made clumsy attempts at dismantling, a disregard of consequence seems a lot less like something he needed to be taught by anybody and a little more like something that was probably ingrained in him at birth.

If we want to talk about misguided takeaways within their relationship, though, their relationship to happiness is the perfect place to start. Nathaniel begins the show with no concept of the pursuit of happiness, so it makes sense that when he does adopt an interest in it, he takes a page right out of the book of the person that introduced him and pins it all in the one place. Unlike Rebecca, though, Nathaniel’s preoccupation seems to be less wilful delusion and more of a case of ignorance being bliss—being with her feels good, so why change anything or interrogate the situation any further? For all his earlier talk, he is quick to give up the thrill of the chase under the hedonistic guise of contentment. Unfortunately, what he lacks is the emotional intelligence to navigate the implications of Rebecca’s disorder, highlighted by his belief that the mere fact that he and Josh are two vastly different people is reason enough for him to be able to dismiss her obsessive behaviour as ‘cute’ and ‘flattering’. Rebecca’s recent breakdown and consequential suicide attempt can’t exist as warning signs in their (what he perceives as superior) relationship because he isn’t planning on leaving Rebecca at the altar; he isn’t privy to the realisation that it ‘wasn’t about Josh, and maybe it never was’.

Nathaniel: I don’t want to get in the way of your therapy thing, but isn’t the point of all this to be happy? We’re happy. That’s what matters.

It’s a shame because despite there being so much more going on with Rebecca than Nathaniel is capable of comprehending at this point in time, he actually, perhaps entirely by accident, manages to get a few things right—he checks in with her about her therapy when her appearing on his doorstep contradicts the information she’d given him earlier (even if he is, at this point, all too easy to convince), counters her suggestion that they play hooky at Raging Waters with the compromise of a more sensibly scheduled dinner they’ll both enjoy, and, when they do come in to conflict over her obsessive behaviours, takes some time for himself before having a serious conversation with her. Though it’s certainly naive of him to think it’s a problem as easily solved as getting Rebecca to promise she’ll never do anything like this again, it suggests the capacity exists (given, with great guidance) for him to approach Rebecca’s mental illness within their relationship in a thoughtful way.

(This of course completely ignores the inherent issues in their boss/employee relationship, which come to a questionable forefront when Rebecca makes the decision to return to work after having broken things off, but we’re starting to get a little off-track from the intended scope of this discussion.)

The idea of romantic love as a chase—if not already sold to us by Rebecca literally moving across the country in pursuit of Josh—is hammered home most effectively in episode 2x11, but Nathaniel actually brings it up in the episode prior; before Rebecca and Josh leave for New York, at the same time as setting up the whole ‘man of my dreams’ idea that also carries on into the next episode, a sweaty Nathaniel beseeches Rebecca to imitate a land-based predator so he can amp up his workout under the threat of chase. Within this alignment, Josh, who ends up proposing to Rebecca at the end of 2x10, becomes even more clearly representative of an end goal—love, marriage, and, as an expected by-product, ultimate happiness. Nathaniel, by contrast for the time being, is all about the chase that comes before. After his speech at the beginning of 2x11 boasting of his dogged approach when securing clients, his passionate buzz words begin to permeate Rebecca’s subconscious, with ‘pursuit’ in particular going so far as to in an echo in a similar way that ‘happy’ does in the pilot. Such is the effect of his words on her that she parrots them back to Josh when she tells him she’s moved up their wedding—‘Finally, it’s coming to an end. The pursuit is over and I just want to celebrate that’. The title of the episode title may pose the question Josh is the man of my dreams, right? but in the most literal sense, the star of her dreams becomes Nathaniel, along with his personal brand of terminology.

Where Nathaniel thinks life is all about playing the hunter, Rebecca insists she doesn’t care for the chase, which makes sense—she doesn’t want to be chasing Josh, and furthermore, admitting that she’s chasing him would only be contradictory to her belief that they belong together. She wants her happy ending. She wants to arrive at her final destination—her destiny—because thus far all her journeys (which have in actuality been more of a kind of stagnation) have been left her unfulfilled. However obsessing over an idealised future only postpones her happiness with her inability to focus on the present. Ironically, the point at which she makes an active choice to begin shifting that focus—in 3x07, when Dr Shin encourages her to live in the messy in-between—is right around the time Nathaniel starts buying into her idealisation himself.

In a similar way to Rebecca, regardless of his purported love of the pursuit, Nathaniel’s infatuation is seemingly tied to the concept of a destination—several times quite literally. In 3x04 he’s ready to whisk her away to Rome to evade any obstacles to their being together, and in 4x01 proposes a similar escape to Hawaii, causing him to lash out when Rebecca turns him down—‘I want us to just be happy and be together. That’s what I want. You just said you love me, right? So can you just do that for me? Can you just stop overthinking everything? …seems like every time we’re happy, you try to ruin it.’ He sees their shared happiness as a nirvana state he’s caught a glimpse of that Rebecca is now determined to deny him access to, to the point that he seeks to make their version of a love bubble a physical one, where no outside interference (or, more accurately, internal reflection from Rebecca) can keep them apart. Still degrees behind Rebecca in the parallel arcs of their development, he’s stuck in the mindset that them being happy and in love is the only thing that matters. His behaviour is far from flattering, but with a quick review of his history of being on the continual receiving end of her rejection, it’s not entirely difficult to see where he’s coming from.

(As an aside, Rebecca’s relationship with the destination versus the journey as it pertains to the mural on her wall is something I’ve already discussed in a previous meta.)

When she breaks up with him at the beginning of 3x09, Rebecca responds to Nathaniel’s protest of ‘but we’re happy!’ with the qualifier that she’s ‘happy, but it isn’t real’, which probably isn’t the most pleasant thing to be told, even before you factor in Nathaniel’s implied inexperience with serious relationships. While her behaviour prior to this definitely calls for some self reflection, it’s an interesting backflip from extreme infatuation to sudden dismissal, and while it does align with the black and white thinking associated with BPD, it’s easy to see why Nathaniel feels blindsided and, consequently, spurned. She begged him not to break up with her not only to then turn around do exactly that, but to also (presumably unintentionally) throw in the humiliating implication he cared more than she did.

Dr Akopian: Maybe now you can see that your father’s behaviour in the past has set a pattern for you, seeking the love of men who don’t fully love you back. Who you have to pursue. Men who are taken or emotionally unavailable. Like your father. Like Josh. Like Greg. Like other men, I’m sure.

Nathaniel is an outlier amongst the three main love interests in that, for all his grandstanding about humans being hunters by nature, he’s the one constantly falling over himself to win Rebecca’s affection rather than the other way around; it’s ironic that the love interest that asserts himself as being all about the chase is the one that ends up later having to assign himself the title of ‘king of declarations’ based on his ongoing habit of blurting out to Rebecca how he feels, never achieving the level of emotional standoffishness he hopes to exude. Nathaniel’s unavailability—and subsequent cementing as one of the types of men Dr Akopian calls Rebecca out on being predisposed to pursuing—comes only when he enters into a relationship with Mona, and Rebecca, who supposedly ‘never cared for the chase’, with interest reignited finds a skewed sense of security afforded by the romantic roadblock, something Nathaniel seems to understand on some unspoken level, as hinted at by his eagerness to maintain the fragile status quo of their morally questionable arrangement.

As a result of this subversion of power dynamics within Rebecca and Nathaniel’s relationship, in amongst the many other parallels between them that only serve to support this, it starts to become apparent that, narratively speaking, Nathaniel is to Rebecca as Rebecca is to Josh, something that is visually co-signed by the show during 4x03, when we see the same golden glow of romantic epiphany crest behind Rebecca in the church during her speech at Heather and Hector’s wedding that suffuses across Josh when Rebecca encounters him in the streets of New York.

Nathaniel’s takeaway from Rebecca’s speech is that because he loves her, he should do everything within his power to get her back, which of course leads to his (frankly embarrassing) attempts to manipulate her and win her over in 4x04. (Fittingly enough to this discussion, the opening line of the Slumbered quote he plagiarises is ‘you are the only thing that makes me happy’. The irony of his failed use of her teenage diary to win her over is that I honestly do believe the speech is an accurate summation of how he sees Rebecca, and had he only chosen to put it in his own words, that final scene between them might have played out a little differently.) The part he probably should have focused on, though, is the part Rebecca is currently pouring all her professional energy into (and not so coincidentally, it’s right there in the episode title)—love (and therefore happiness) being about finding your own path.

Rebecca: I don’t believe in destiny anymore. I just believe in taking responsibility for your own happiness.

This is not the first time Nathaniel makes the decision to actively pursue Rebecca while her attention lies firmly fixed elsewhere. In 3x03 and 3x04, he is forced to grapple with his feelings alone when a distracted Rebecca eventually goes where he cannot follow, putting an abrupt end to any potential for chase when she flees back to New York in 3x05. Consequently, Nathaniel embarks on a mini-arc of struggling to accept the idea that Rebecca may never come back—initially incomprehensible to him, owing to the fact that she bears importance to him, personally—to conceding that his (thus far relatively unexamined) need for her to be in his life is secondary to her own wellbeing, something that acts as a precursor to a major thread in Nathaniel’s (often one step forward, two clumsily-written steps back) character development in the back end of the series.

Nathaniel: I just hope wherever she is, she’s happy.

In 4x11, Nathaniel’s dream world amalgamation of Maya and Rebecca begs him to let her be happy, and as the former fades into the latter we get another callback to the pilot—an echo of 'happy, happy, happy…’ reminiscent of the empty shell of New York Rebecca latching onto Josh’s description of laid-back West Covina. Unlike its instance in the 1x01, however, this is a wake up call of an entirely different kind—it is not the blossoming of a brand new delusion but the sobering dissolution of one. And unlike the speech a radiant Rebecca gave at Heather’s wedding about finding the one you love and holding on tight, this particular iteration is here to impart the contradictory wisdom ‘if you really love me, you have to let me go’.

Nathaniel: I want you to be happy, I do.

This moment is arguably the true beginning of Nathaniel’s lesson that his happiness isn’t necessarily (or in this case, due to the current circumstances, can no longer be) inextricably linked to Rebecca—she has the opportunity to find happiness independently of him and that in itself is something that should make him happy, as someone that loves and cares for her. His assertion to dream Rebecca that he wants her to be happy manifests in his concession to Rebecca in the real world—‘I’m glad you’re happy. I really am. And it makes me happy too’—an exchange that echoes two similar moments between them back in season three, during which Rebecca expresses the same sentiment regarding his relationship with Mona, first following the cool down from their 3x10 conflict, and again in the aftermath of their ended affair in 3x13: 

Rebecca: I’m happy that you found someone else. Mona seems lovely.

Rebecca: I’m happy for you… I want you to be happy.

The more interesting callback here though, of course, is to Rebecca’s conversation with Greg at the duck pond way back in 2x02. After finally tracking down an AWOL Greg with the intention of breaking the news of her involvement with Josh, Greg makes peace with the situation by way of reassuring them both that everything worked out fine as long as Rebecca is happy. ‘You and Josh—you should be happy together. You’re happy, right? And he treats you well?’ Rebecca responds to this in the affirmative, though her expression—and the context of the episode—belies her answer. In contrast, her exchange with Nathaniel goes a little differently:

Nathaniel: Because you’re happy, right? You’re happy with Greg. Rebecca: I mean, I don’t know. I’m not there yet. But I could possibly be, yeah.

The evolution of Rebecca’s response is of course evidence of her development as a character and her own understanding of her relationship to happiness, but what I find most noteworthy is not that she lies in 2x02, but that in 4x11 she chooses to tell an unusual truth. She could just have easily have said yes the second time around and it would have functioned as a clear enough juxtaposition of what she considers close enough to happiness; after all, at the time of 4x11 she and Greg believe they are approaching their relationship in a mature and thoughtful fashion, they are warm and affectionate towards one another and, unlike in 2x02, she is not having to compete for her partner’s attention. She would, by all accounts, be completely justified in giving what could be considered the normal response to being posed such a question—that yes, she is happy with Greg. So even though it’s encouraging to hear Rebecca verbalising her newfound knowledge that happiness is so much more than such a simple dichotomy of yes and no, it feels significant that Nathaniel, as a person currently knee-deep in untangling his own complicated relationship with happiness, is the one that gets to be privy to this particular brand of truth.

And while it can be argued that all the strides Nathaniel makes in 4x11 are undone over the course of the following episodes, setting aside the very real fact that human emotions are fickle, and we can’t always stick as completely to our guns as we’d like, his blessing here still comes with a telling caveat: ‘I’ve got to let you go… because you’re happy’. And who shows up on Nathaniel’s doorstep during 4x12 to poke holes in that perceived state of happiness between her and Greg? None other than Rebecca herself.

Rebecca: You just want me to be happy, which is what I want too, and god, Greg… Greg doesn’t know what happiness is.

Such is the shared significance of this concept of happiness between them that the second Rebecca alludes to their conversation in the foyer, Nathaniel’s previously good-natured, albeit slightly confused, response to her drunken presence in his apartment quickly and very clearly dissolves into alarm bells and he eventually sends her on her way. Though he could easily have wielded Rebecca’s visit as a weapon to create dissonance between her and Greg in 4x13, he merely probes for clues by way of a convoluted metaphor, resigning himself to the fact that the issue has been resolved, while Greg, in actuality, is at this point none the wiser. It’s only once Greg himself tells Nathaniel that it is over between him and Rebecca that Nathaniel returns to entertaining his feelings for her.

Though we the viewers are all too aware (and at this point, probably screaming at the TV!) that Rebecca’s happiness is not, contrary to recurring belief, a vacant role that she needs someone to fill; unlike us, the characters have not had the good fortune of being able to watch the show Crazy Ex Girlfriend on the CW network. Nathaniel is still a fledgling in terms of self enlightenment, and it makes total sense for him to be nudged towards into pursuing her again once the clearest obstacle to her affections—her relationship with Greg—is no longer an issue.

When she breaks the news of her decision to Nathaniel in the finale, Rebecca is quick to assure Nathaniel that ‘the times that [they’ve] spent together have been some of the best of [her] life’, which is an interestingly bold statement all on its own, but it feels somewhat satisfyingly like finally giving Nathaniel a real-life answer to the ‘we’ve had such happy moments, you and I, haven’t we?’ that he throws at his Maya-shaped projection of Rebecca in 4x11; affirmation that contrary to what she says in 3x08, something in there between them was real.

‘You only get one life,’ he tells her in return. ‘And you’ve got to live that the way you want.’

Neither of them uses the word ‘happy’ in this exchange, but as we fast forward in time, we get:

Nathaniel: Happy to be here.

Rebecca: For the first time in my life, I am truly happy.

Nathaniel (who in an amusing reflection in 2x09, reveals that he, in a roundabout way, moved to West Covina because of Rebecca—‘it’s kind of your fault that I’m here’) has finally made the actual change that Rebecca taunted him with on their first meeting. And unlike Rebecca, he’s had a chance to interrogate what happiness for himself, removed from another person, might look like before he does so. Rather than starting with a life-altering change, he gets to make incremental changes along the way—which very much are tied to his entanglement to Rebecca—in order to make a more meaningful and deliberate life change for himself later on.

“When you find someone that melts the iceberg that is your heart…” - 3x03

“Provoking me, and zinging me, and challenging my world view. And warming my heart.” - 3x04

“You make me feel like I can be a different kind of person.” - 3x08

“You’ve awakened my heart and unlocked my soul.” - 4x04

“You’ve changed my whole life. Who I am, who I can be.” - 4x11

Rebecca describes her moving to West Covina in Nathaniel’s first episode as ‘[deciding] to flip things around. [Deciding] to put happiness before success. And when I did that, the world rewarded me with true happiness.’ In the finale, she tells the audience how he, by comparison, ‘upended [his] life’—‘You changed everything. But unlike me, you did it for the right reasons. And I am in awe of you.’ Alongside the nice progression from her proclamation in 2x09 that she ‘came to West Covina to search for happiness’ to her more self-aware announcement at the open mic that ‘for the first time in my life, [she is] truly happy’, (which feels like a subversive callback to a certain infamous butter commercial) we also get a reiteration of the sentiment— ‘I came to this town to find love. And I did. I love every person in this room’—that conflates happiness with love in what is now a healthy and satisfying way. It’s the perfect twist that she’s rewarded with the thing she was searching for all along just as soon as she realises she was looking in all the wrong places, and that the place itself still gets to play such a large part in that. And she is able to see Nathaniel’s journey as all the more meaningful in light of her own missteps along the way.

While I have my reservations on the bow they tied Nathaniel’s arc in for the finale (because despite Rebecca’s realisation that there is no such thing as ‘ending up’, there is in the sense of the scope of this series) being a well thought out resolution as opposed to leaning on a previous gag without laying any actual groundwork, the truth is it’s unclear what the true nature of Nathaniel’s sabbatical is/was/will be—mere extended vacation, permanent new career path, or just the initial spark of inspiration in some extended self discovery. That being said, much like Rebecca evolving towards a point where she can appreciate the interconnectedness of love and happiness in a less troublesome way, it is neat that Nathaniel’s resolution follows on from his tendency to want to escape to far-off destinations in an attempt to control his desired status quo. Though his fleeing town is still inextricably linked to having his heart broken by Rebecca, Guatemala, for once, isn’t about transposing his current circumstance to another place in order to cling to something, but rather a carefully selected, specific site for welcomed change.

Independent of any potential that may or may not exist between them as the show closes out—romantic or otherwise—it’s undeniable that these two characters have left indelible marks on each other, and without their respective involvement in each other’s lives, their journeys—and resulting transformations—would not have been the same.

[qiankunfics]

KunTen Masterlist Part 4

AO3

1.   we don't know how to talk, but damn, we know how to fuck by flowerhairclips

Summary: It’s hilarious to Ten how they ended up fucking on the regular, because Kun was so uptight and didn’t at all look like the type to have several pornhub webpages open on his incognito browser that reflected all the kinks he had hidden underneath his collared shirts and slacks. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

2. Lords and Ladies by Mntsnflrs

Summary: How galling it must have been to see a common whore beside the throne, his hands in the King’s hair, lips against the King’s ear. Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot

3. Doctor's Orders by Fire_shockk

Summary: Ten gets some upsetting orders from his doctor, and Kun is there to make sure he goes through with it. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

4. Summer Stars by Mntsnflrs

Summary: He never asked for favours, so when he did, Kun agreed without asking questions. Rating: Mature Status: Completed Trigger: Descriptions of injuries 

5. Now your mess is mine by Livvinamess

Summary: Courting him like an omega would court a beta, and that was a problem, because Kun wasn't one. Rating: General  Status: One-Shot

6. supernova beat by taeyomi (buttercream)

Summary: For the record, Kun didn’t free fall into love with Ten. It was a painstakingly gradual process, but in hindsight, it probably started that very day. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

7. back to black by rendawnie

Summary: Kun hums under his breath. His wrists ache from the leather straps that had bound him yesterday, during a particularly bad episode. They’d had to restrain him. Ten would have been proud, he thinks to himself. Rating: Explicit  Status: One-Shot  Trigger: Self-Harm, Mental Illness

8. when the time comes by kuntenjohnil

Summary: Ten summons a human familiar?  Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot 

9. bewitched by andnowforyaya

Summary: Kun and Ten move into their starter home outside of the city and throw a housewarming party. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

10. i'm gonna bed into you like a cat prance into a beanbag by eatthatup

Summary: All he does is smile, widely, because he loves them, because he’s happy that Ten is happy, because he’s glad they can share such intimate moments. Sometimes it makes him emotional. Rating: Teen Status: One-shot

11. Perfect Little Family by oonymay

Summary: In which Kun and Ten find a crying child in a forest and naturally decide that raising it in secret is the best option. And therein begins a battle with languages, the meaning of home and feelings. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

12. I Literally Hate You by RainbowDonkeys

Summary: Roommates Ten and Kun hate each other and they decide to hate-fuck.  Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

13.  Totally Showed Him! by pinkfire

Summary: If Ten is so fed up, he can just put Kun in his place, show him that he can’t just step all over Ten whenever he wants. What’s the worst that could happen? Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

14.  it's only up from here by unconscious

Summary: Ten can't quite ask for what he wants. Kun is determined to figure it out. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

15. don't you go by angstonly

Summary:  one reunion and way too many drinks later, kun and ten find each other in the same situation that led to them drifting apart two years ago Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot

16. dark white room by rainingover

Summary: Ten visits Kun in the prison wing of the ship. Rating: Explicit Status: Completed 

17. How I’ve waited by crazvdream

Summary: In which Kun and Ten are both dumbasses who don’t know how to express their love. They get there eventually. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

18. Interest by EbbaTriesToWrite

Summary: He didn’t speak word about his interest in makeup but kept indulging himself by watching videos, he always made sure to use an incognito window though - he knew other boys did too but for very different reasons. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

19. Unbent, Unbowed, Unbroken by colorskun

Summary: On the worst days, Kun wasn’t entirely sure what Ten’s voice sounded like when he told him he loved him. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot Triggers: Blood and Injury, Psychological torture

20. Take Yourself Home by Phoenix_Tears for Purple_rules

Summary: Seeing them now, nobody would ever imagine that Kun and Ten were once head over heels for each other. Rating: Explicit Status: On-Going

21. love you out loud by unconscious 

Summary: Yes, Kun ge, I like it when you hold me down, and pull my hair, and don’t let me touch, and maybe you could spit in my mouth again? Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

22.  to the moon and back by andnowforyaya

Summary: “Hey, have you seen Ten?” Kun asked Johnny for the third time that night. Rating: Teen Status: One-shot

23. ‘Cause I can’t make you stay if you wanna go by kkkalguksu

Summary: “He… he ran away.” Kun’s mouth agape in surprise. Maybe he never expected this kind of mess. Especially, not on their wedding day.  Rating: General Status: One-Shot

24.  The Moonlight Shines At Midnight by pylador19

Summary: What if you were the very few people in the world, like Ten, who didn’t have a soul mark anywhere on their body? Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

25. actually, I don't have a daughter by mikararinna

Summary: "Look, I'm a single gay man in my 30s who's probably desperate for love. When a hot male with fluffy brown hair suddenly talked to me about his babies after I ranted about my sweet, sweet baby TongTong I didn't expect him to be a single father of two!" Rating: Teen Status: One-shot

26. He Moves Like The Waves by pinkfire

Summary: “You’ll get sand in your mouth. Want me to send you his number?” He has a knowing look on his face, eyebrows rising and sinking teasingly. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

27. from me, to you by madhoney

Summary: story of kunten falling in love over time through the exchanging of gifts. Rating: General Status: On-going

28.  The Games by SourwolfZiam

Summary: Ten Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul (Thailand, 3-time Olympic medallist) announces his upcoming retirement from professional gymnastics a month before the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

29. Familiar Flames by pinkfire

Summary: Ten didn't think he deserved to find another familiar, let alone a loving werewolf Kun who smells like sweets and warm bread. Rating: Mature Status: On-Going

30. it's always say goodnight n go by piiisces

Summary: when ten misses the train home, kun lets him sleep at his place for the night. Rating: Teen Status: One-shot

31.  gotta be first by kuntenjohnil

Summary: lmao xuxi i just walked into this bar and someone yelled dibs - Kun Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

32.  Senses. by Lesbevian

Summary: In which Ten misses his boyfriend while promoting overseas. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

33.  let's be lucky people by xflatline

Summary: Kun and Ten have been dating for forever.Everyone thinks they're the perfect couple including themselves. Rating: Teen  Status: One-Shot

34.  Lights down low by mkhhhx

Summary: “Why, wasn’t my office romantic enough?” Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

35. On your side by kkkalguksu

Summary: “I have good news and a bad news.” Kun received a message from his husband that contains this message. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

36.  composure by andnowforyaya

Summary: “What do you want, baby?” Kun mumbled, sinking back down onto flat footing languidly and continuing to push his ass back, teasing Ten. “What does baby want?” Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

37. i wil confess what has been on the tip of my tongue tomorrow by ActivelyWeird

Summary: Ten knew they didn't sell any rice milk, so why was he telling this customer that they did? Rating: General Status: One-Shot

38.  the moment you can breathe 

Summary: Kun ends up creating a fake fan account for himself to try and connect with his fanbase. Ten is a very big (and horny) fan of his. Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot *Twit fic AU on AO3

39. Liu Yangyang's Masterplan by Kill3rWhal3D1ck

Summary: *focus pairing is DoJae but KunTen does feature well in the first few chapters Rating: Explicit Status: Completed 

40. you're the right thing after all by unconscious

Summary: kunten getting together and being romo soulmates with intersex ten Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

41. 𝙏𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙘𝙝 ✧ : .゜ by tintedCupre

Summary: As night drips his lips connect with Ten again and he forgets the lines of what is sin and what is not. Rating: Teen/Mature Status: One-Shot Trigger: Homophobia

42.  Mr Qian and the oh-so-absolutely flirtatious Mr Lee by writesinfontuwu

Summary: Qian Kun finds a secretary that does his job well and actually puts up with his demands. Bad thing about him? Overly, insufferably, annoyingly, (adorably) flirtatious. Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot

43. in a place like this by merryofsoul

Summary: Kun and Ten meet in the hospital, but not in the way you'd think. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

44. Normal but Special by MelodicNoise for kungod

Summary: Kun's birthday isn't shaping up to be what he expected. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

45.  Aim and Shoot by softyjseo

Summary: After being separated from his group, Ten doesn't lose hope to find them again. He stumbles upon an abandoned hotel and hopes to survive. Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot

46.  boy, i can't cover up my heart by kunhyangs

Summary: ten decides confessing to kun through a vague, 'didn't-think-this-through' text is the best way to confess. except, it doesn't work as expected, but he's still happy with the outcome. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

47.  He's Our Little Shit by rowx3yourships

Summary: “Tell me why the teachers call me first?” Ten walked over and sat in Kun’s lap. “You’re the responsible adult, not me.” Rating: General Status: One-Shot

48.  Touchin by starryeyed (kaylie153)

Summary: ten meets someone at a club and takes him home Rating: Explicit  Status: One-shot

49. ursa minor by lowkeyamen

Summary: No one is allowed to tell Ten he's a good boy apart from Kun. Certainly not some cheap little lie detector toy. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

50.  give it a shot by 10vesick

Summary: Ten takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to do this anymore.” Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

[morganaspendragonss]

spirits in my head (they won’t go)

i’ve written four tua fics in four days someone help me

ao3

They don’t know what to do with Klaus. He’s still leaning heavily on Luther, only upright under the threat of being dragged along the tarmac, and it’s clear he won’t be able to get home under his own steam. Vanya has already left with a woman who Allison can only assume is Sissy, and Five is still inside with Dad, which leaves her, Diego and Luther to figure it out. 

“Diego and I can take him back to Elliott’s,” Luther eventually offers, though he doesn’t look like he particularly relishes the prospect. Allison doesn’t blame him; Klaus is difficult when he’s high or coming down, which apparently they think he is.

Allison...isn’t so sure. Still, it’s not like she’s exactly been there to see him like that. 

Klaus stirs at the sound of Luther’s voice. “No,” he moans. “Home.”

“Klaus, we don’t know where you live,” Luther argues.

“Allison…” Klaus brings his head up, eyes meeting her own with a surprising desperation in them. “Allison, you know. You can take me. Please.”

Allison hesitates. All she wants right now is to get home to Ray, plus she really doesn’t think Klaus should be left alone right now. But… Well, she’s always found it hard to deny Klaus, and if she’s being honest with herself, she feels bad for letting Luther literally drag him around. 

She forces a smile. “Sure.”

“Allison -” Luther tries, but she sends him a look.

“Can you get him into my car, please?”

Luther lingers a moment longer, glancing between her and Klaus, but eventually relents, bundling him into the backseat of her car. Allison follows, sending Luther a quick, “Thanks,” before getting in herself. She throws a look over at Klaus, pressing himself to the window, face pale, and purses her lips, starting the car.

The drive back to Klaus’s home (base? hideout?) is spent in silence - on Allison’s part, at least. Klaus keeps up a steady stream of muttering, of which she only catches about half. It doesn’t seem to be directed at her, though, and Allison finds herself repeatedly checking the rearview mirror. There’s never anybody there, of course, but she can’t shake her unease at the idea of a ghost riding around in her backseat.

“Klaus,” she ventures, during an apparent lull in the conversation. “Who are you talking to?”

“Hm?” Klaus glances towards her. “Oh, just some pesky little ghostie I can’t seem to shake. Fear not, he’ll leave when I do. Thanks for interrupting him, by the way, listening to his moaning was really dragging on.”

“Oh.” Allison smiles nervously, checking the mirror again - no-one there. “You’re welcome.”

Klaus snorts, then groans as he slumps back against the window, the ghost apparently having started talking again. 

This goes on for some time, before, “Oh, shut up, Ben!”

Allison almost crashes the car. Fortunately, the mansion is just up ahead, so she swings into the driveway and shuts off the engine, turning around to face Klaus.

“Are you high?” she demands.

Klaus has the gall to look offended, as if there isn’t still a sheen of sweat across his face, far too pale and drawn to be normal. “I’m sober!” he protests.

“Klaus, I’ve seen you drinking.”

He waves a lazy hand. “Semantics, dear sister,” he says, but relents at Allison’s raised eyebrow. “Fine, fine, I may have taken a swan dive off the wagon, but I was sober. For three years! And I haven’t even touched a drug since before old Fivey sent us here, so.”

Allison studies him closely. He looks like shit, to put it mildly, but… “I believe you,” she says, and she does. Somehow, she does; even Klaus looks surprised at the admission. 

“Oh,” he says. “Well then. If that’s all, I think I’ll take my leave.” 

He heaves himself upright and reaches for the door handle, but Allison grabs his arm. “Not so fast. I heard you say Ben.”

Klaus freezes. “Did you?” he asks, clearly forcing a strained laugh. 

“Yep.” She fixes him with a hard stare. “Except - it’s the strangest thing - I seem to remember you telling us Ben never made it here.”

Klaus hesitates, then sighs, falling back into the seat. “In my defence, he’s being a real bitch right now,” he mumbles.

“Klaus!” Allison releases his arm and turns away from him, putting her head in her hands. 

“Oh, don’t start with some ‘don’t talk ill of the dead’ bullshit,” Klaus scoffs. “I’ve put up with him for seventeen years, I think I’ve earned the right to talk ill of him.”

Allison glares at him. “And what gives you the right to lie to us about him?” she demands, furious. Klaus looks like a kicked puppy, but she couldn’t care less how shitty he’s feeling right now; he lied to them about their dead brother, she thinks she’s allowed a little anger. 

“Honestly, you should be grateful, seventeen years in the grave have done nothing for his likeability,” Klaus says, but he keeps talking before Allison can protest that. “I admit it, alright, I made a mistake - be quiet, Ben, you’re not innocent here either - I’ll do the introductions tomorrow after my organs have rearranged themselves - will that make you happy, you little turd -”

Allison waves a hand in front of his face; clearly he’s not talking to her anymore. He blinks in surprise and flicks his eyes back to her. “Do you want to, I don’t know, tell me what’s going on?” she asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“Not particularly.”

“Klaus -”

“Yeah, yeah.” He rolls his eyes and sits up as much as he can. “Our dear, dead brother is all mad because I won’t let him use my body.”

Allison blinks. “What?”

Klaus hums, nodding. “Yeah, remember my little...episode back at the bar? Ben here got all impatient and decided he would just hop on in here. Without even warning me, can you believe that?” Then, turning and glaring to his left, “Of course, I would have said no, but I might have at least liked the choice. Newsflash, asshole: possession hurts! Oh, don’t start -”

Allison tunes him out, her mind reeling. She can’t believe Ben is here - Ben, her brother, her dead brother, actually here. It’s mind blowing, to be honest. She’s still pissed at Klaus for hiding him, but if what Klaus said is true… 

And this is the part Allison really can’t wrap her head around. Ben was always so kind; how is she supposed to believe he’d do something like that. Although… He has been dead for years. She guesses that would make anyone a little jaded.

Klaus’s voice gets louder, pulling her out of her thoughts. 

“No, you can’t possess me again - don’t fucking touch me - I mean it, Ben -”

“Hey!” she interrupts. She looks at Klaus, more than a little disturbed by the fear in his eyes, but she forces herself to focus. “Klaus, is there any way I can speak to Ben? Like, actually speak to him?”

Klaus’s shoulders slump. “No can do, Ally,” he says. “Normally, I’d be all too happy to oblige, but apparently possession throws my powers out of whack.” He laughs bitterly. “Crazy, right?”

Ben must say something, because Klaus stiffens. “You’re lucky I can’t make you corporeal right now,” he grits out, “else your ghostly mug would have a date with my fist. Ben, you can’t borrow a body - no - Allison, tell him!”

Allison’s chokes, shaking her head at Klaus, but his eyes plead with her. “Um. Okay.” She shifts her gaze to the empty air next to Klaus, hoping that’s where Ben is. “Maybe don’t possess Klaus again?”

It’s weak, but Klaus nods firmly at Ben as if it’s the best argument he’s ever heard. Allison doesn’t miss the way he’s still very clearly pressed against the door, presumably as far away from Ben he can get. That makes her uneasy, the idea that Klaus is scared of their brother, or at the very least unwilling to be near him, especially because they’ve spent so long in each other’s company. 

It’s what motivates her to ask, “Do you want to come back to mine?”

Klaus looks surprised but touched at the offer. Even so, he shakes his head. “Lovely as that sounds, I don’t want to impose on you and your very handsome husband any more than I already have.”

“You wouldn’t be imposing,” she starts, but Klaus waves her away (goodbye).

“I won’t hear anymore about it,” he insists. “Besides I have plenty of people to keep me company.” He grins at her, but Allison can tell that it’s fake. 

“Are you sure?” she asks, unsure whether or not to force the subject. On the one hand, Klaus is at least partly right; Ray has already put up with so much and she doesn’t want to make him deal with more. But on the other, Klaus is clearly not okay. 

In the end, Klaus makes up her mind for her. “Absolutely,” he says forcefully, getting out of the car before she can protest the point any further. He sways a little as he stands but doesn’t fall over, which is a relief. “Bye Allison.”

“Bye!” Allison calls, watching him walk away. Then, an afterthought, “Bye, Ben!” 

Klaus turns and grins, saluting her before stumbling into the mansion - (seriously, how the hell did he end up there?) - greeted by a cloud of people in blue overalls. Allison keeps watching until her brother(s?) are swallowed up, and then a bit longer. She has half a mind to go in there and drag him out, she’d use her rumours if she had to, but… But. She can’t do that to him. Not now.

Eventually, Allison sighs and turns the engine on, backing out of the driveway. She tries to push Klaus and Ben from her mind, thinking of Ray waiting for her at home, but she can’t rid herself of the image of Klaus convulsing on the floor of that bar. She wishes she’d helped him more, but they’re all used to weird shit from Klaus and they’d had bigger problems at the time. 

(Still, the guilt takes root in her and she has the overwhelming urge to talk to someone - Vanya possibly, or Luther - about Klaus and Ben and everything.)

(Maybe tomorrow.)

(Maybe.)

[naoyatoudo]

i need to rant about how zzs was treated in shl hold on spoilers for the end of the drama

still pissed. i hate HATE HATE that zzs was shoved to the side and became the little side piece to wkx’s story of revenge. hello? he’s the MC. ZZS is the MC. WKX is the ML. this is not the wkx story this is the zzs story, literally, he is the main character. why does he just drop back into the background at some point, shoved into a corner, used only to make wkx look good? hello? how the fuck is it that he was captured and tortured for days but no one asks after him or shows much care when he comes back...........it just goes to wkx’s stupid plan that he DOESN’T TELL ZZS ABOUT? HELLO?

and after wkx “dies” no one even thinks to keep an eye on zzs despite him literally trying to commit suicide to follow after him before. how the fuck could they just leave him alone?? and then even when zcl and jby and wx learn about him taking out the nails they just are like. ok bye :) at least zcl cries but  THE FOCUS IS STILL ON WKX??????????? THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME OUTSIDE LIKE 5 MINUTES??? AND WKX OF COURSE HAS THIS WEIRD OOC MOMENT AND LIES TO ZZS AND ACTS LIKE ZZS DESERVES IT AS IF HE HASNT LIED TO ZZS MULTIPLE TIMES NEAR THE END DESPITE THE FACT THEY HAVE A WHOLE THING ABOUT NOT LYING TO EACH OTHER BUT WHATEVER. HAHA. WHO CARES RIGHT? AS LONG AS WKX LOOKS SYMPATHETIC AND GOOD! FUCK. IT’S SO OBVIOUS THE SCRIPTWRITER HAS A WKX BIAS IT MAKES ME FEEL ILL.

I’M SO ANGRYYYYYYY HOW ZZS WAS TREATED LIKE SHIT IN THIS. LIKE GREAT SO YOU TOOK AWAY HIS DECISION WITH HIS LIFE TO SACRIFICE YOUR OWN SO HE’D LIVE FOREVER AND TRAPPED ON A MOUNTAIN AND CAN ONLY EAT SNOW. ALONE. FOREVER. HOW KIND OF YOU. IT’S NOT LIKE YBY HAS A WHOLEEEEEEE EXTRA ABOUT HOW MISERABLE THAT IS OR ANYTHING IN THE NOVEL RIGHT? FUCK OFF. HOW DARE YOU DRAMA WKX.

NOT TO MENTION HOW THE COSTUMES AND MAKEUP WERE CLEARLY HIGHER QUALITY FOR WKX...LIKE REALLY? REALLY?????/ ASIDE THE NEW YEARS ONES IT’S SO STARK HOW MUCH MORE MONEY WENT INTO WKX’S LOOK. AND THE AMOUNT OF TIMES WE HAVE TO SEE THE SAME STUPIF FUCKING FLASHBACKS OF WKX YES I KNOW HIS PAST YES I GET IT I DONT NEED TO SEE IT EVERY EPISODE 3 TIMES.

THE NOVEL. IS ABOUT. ZZS. IT’S ABOUT HIM LEARNING TO MOVE ON AND SPEND HIS LIFE FREELY. WITH HIS OWN DECISIONS. AND BE HIMSELF. SINCE HE COULDN’T DO ANY OF THAT WHILE STUCK SERVING THE EMPEROR (PRINCE HERE, WHATEVER). AMAZING HOW WKX TAKES THAT AWAY FROM HIM AT THE END OF THE DRAMA AND IT’S PLAYED AS GOOD AND ROMANTIC. WKX’S REVENGE PLOT IS IN THE BACKGROUND AND IN THE END HE LITERALLY /LITERALLY/ CHOOSES TO LIVE SO HE CAN BE WITH ZZS. THERE IS NO SACRIFICE ON HIS PART. ZZS DOES NOT GET INVOLVED IN HIS SHIT EXCEPT TO SAVE HIM AT THE END. ZZS LITERALLY STATES WKX’S PLOTS ARE HIS OWN AND HE HAS NO RIGHT TO BUT IN IN THE NOVEL.

WHY DID YOU WRITE ZZS LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHO HE IS? I GET CHANGING THINGS TO MAKE HIM PALATABLE FOR  A WIDER AUDIENCE BUT COME ON. AND HIS CRYING AND SIMPERING..LIKE..>???????????? EVEN THEN FINE. BUT THEN YOU TURN HIM INTO A SIDE PIECE WHO JUST IS THERE FOR WKX TO LOOK GOOD. I AM SSSSSO MAD AND I’M GLAD APPARENTLY CHINESE FANS ARE TOO (?) . he deserved better. he did not deserve to be cast aside so the limelight can be on wkx. i feel so bad for zzs and for his ACTOR because even with the actos everyone is soooo focused in wkx’s actor.

wkx’s actor did well don’t get me wrong, glad he is getting attention, but zzs’ actor did really well too.......ugh. the way people are so into wkx and just use zzs as a piece for him even in fics now..like whya re so many fics zzs crying over wkx dying or being a comfort for an upset wkx?? zzs is the one who is literally in pain every single day, was literally tortured and betrayed, lost EVERYONE from his sect, and the whole shit show with wkx’s fake death HE WASN’T TOLD WAS FAKE. SO HE HASTENED HIS DEATH. but no it’s all about wkx and wkx’s emotions right? fuck off.

i’m gonna write so much stuff for zzs. im gonna write jby noticing zzs is upset and confronting and comforting him. for a supposed best friend in the drama he didn’t do fucking much. idk why wx and jby were even there, in the novel they cure him but here they just. what give him medicine so he can live an extra week? wow great.

im so sad we didnt get to see all the things zzs thinks in the novel that show how affected he is by everything and how traumatized he is. i hate how they made his shizun this friendly father figure when he was a rough person who died and left everything for zzs to handle alone at FIFTEEN. i hate how they made zzs the prince’s cousin for NO FUCKING REASON when zzs was just some guy from a family in the jianghu who befriended the prince to help his sect survive.

why is it the series starts off well and with zzs as the mc and switches at some point to be the wkx show? i still like wkx but im so........disappointed. im so disappointed if my rants didnt say it enough ufbhvndskm, especially how the other characters dont notice how upset or pained zzs is at any point?? how the fuck did jby not??? amazingly zcl is the best with it...T__T

also why is it they fight constantly and even though zzs is literally right usually wkx is the sympathetic one and they never talk it through zzs just kind of goes back over to him and they act like normal?? hello??? yeah, uh, zzs was RIGHT. INNOCENT PEOPLE WERE LITERALLY BEING KILLED FOR WKX’S PLAN. YES ZZS WAS RIGHT. IT’S HIS LIFE IF HE WANTS TO JUST DIE FROM HIS WOUNDS AND NOT LOSE HIS MARTIAL ARTS HE CAN. does no one remember in the novel when wkx tries to destroy his martial arts zzs stops him with a “if anyone should understand, it’s you..” and wkx just stops and says “yes...i..i understand...” and respects zzs’ wishes???

what were their other stupid fights? oh yeah zzs again saying innocent people die and oh look he was right again. when wkx betrays zzs’ trust and does his fake death without telling him zzs doesnt even get mad at him. meanwhile wkx raged at him for choosing his own path in life that wkx didnt want...right, that’s good. then the fucking end with wkx saying it’s his turn to lie to zzs like he didnt before. i would punch wkx into the ground for that. fuck you asshole, are you kidding me with this shit??

also why did it take so long for zzs to realize who wkx is in the drama?? in the novel they figured each other out right away almost... why is zzs weaker physically and not as smart.. T_T and he took his disguise off earlier so the fangirls wouldnt have to deal with the “ugly” (wasnt even ugly) look...i know it would never have happened but i feel like wkx’s reaction to his real face was kind of understated. i’ve already said i dislike the shidi-shixiong thing but i do get why they did it so whatever.

im mostly mad about how zzs was picked up, slapped around, and thrown outside.........

scriptwriter why do you hate zzs.......?

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Episode 7: Q&A

Let’s just dive right into this. Spoilers are heading your way. 

1:00 - Malcolm why did you try to talk to the strange man in the dark?!?! It’s not safe you giant doofus. 

1:33 - Gil looks very annoyed and concerned here. This is a man who would ground Malcolm’s ass if he could. 

1:51 - See how Gil’s hands are on his hips? That’s exactly the position Malcolm was in when he was talking to Dani when he was high. Coincidence? I think not. Pretty sure Malcolm is subconsciously trying to imitate Gil whenever he can because Gil is Malcolm’s definition of a good man. 

2:24 - Another instance when Dani directly asks Malcolm if he’s okay. 

2:35 - Edrisa is one strange lady. She doesn’t even look mildly grossed out by the state of those bodies. 

3:53 - Check out JT’s face here. He looks somewhere halfway between annoyed with and concerned for Malcolm. Gil on the other hand is too busy trying to keep Malcolm from jumping off the deep end to be annoyed with him. 

4:25 - Does anyone else find it odd that mother and daughter are sitting so far apart on this bench? I mean, I know they’re fighting right now but still. 

5:00 - “I am far more worried now.” She should be. Ainsley is trying to out manipulate Martin. That’s concerning because a) Martin is a dangerous psychopath and b) Ainsley, to a certain degree, is exhibiting behaviour that probably reminds Jessica of Martin. 

7:00 - I’m starting to believe that Edrisa might be on the autism spectrum. She seems to have trouble reading the mood of a room. She often rambles. She is socially awkward. She talks with her hands a lot. She is very intelligent. She’s a functioning adult but many people with autism are functioning adults if they had proper support as children. Then again, it’s possible she grew up in a home with stereotypical Asian parents who forced her to study most of the day and severely limited her opportunities to socialize in a non-academic setting. 

7:11 - hahaha Gil’s face here. He’s like “Why do I like these two freaks? Why do they look borderline excited in the middle of this morbid situation?”

7:46 - I love the moment when Gil and Malcolm realize that they’re looking for a serial killer. Gil looks guilty. Like he’s blaming himself for not noticing that this murderer was loose sooner. Malcolm looks upset too but it looks like he’s more upset about the effect this is having on Gil than he is about the fact that there’s a serial killer on the loose. Both of my boys need a hug. 

8:23 - They are waaayyy too lovey-dovey inside of Ainsley’s serial killer father’s prison cell. Like did they forget that they’re inside of a psychiatric facility for murderers?!? 

9:00 - The fact that this interaction between Tevin and Ainsley is possible annoys me. I know it was necessary to forward the plot BUT why would two different secure doors be randomly wide open when a guard is moving a dangerous prisoner through the halls? I’m sure those doors are legally required to be heavy enough to close by themselves if no one props them open for safety reasons. (Just my small annoyance. Carry on.)

10:00 - hahaha I love JT. He clearly cares about Malcolm but he also doesn’t know what to say to a dude who is so manic and troubled.

10:22 - I love Dani going on a rant. It’s really sweet. It’s almost as if she knew that if she went on a rant Malcolm would be able to calm down and focus. Look at Malcolm’s reaction to her rant. He immediately calms down and tries to comfort Dani. He refocuses on the case. They are really good for each other’s mental health. They ground each other and I’m so grateful that they’re in each other’s lives.

11:05 - If Edrisa is technically part of the team - why doesn’t she just walk into the room? Why does she wave through the window to get Malcolm’s attention?

11:51 - We have reached a tipping point in Malcolm’s mental health. He just willingly admitted that he’s not okay. Someone sound the alarms. This will not end well. Our boy is going off the deep end....but at least he’s self aware? 

12:00 - The first part of this interview (before Malcolm shows up) is hard to watch. It hurts to watch Martin twist everything into a positive about himself. It hurts to watch Ainsley try to twist everything in the opposite direction. These characters are more similar than I’d like to admit. They’re both obsessed with their outward appearance to the world. They’re obsessed with their own success. They’re driven by ambition. Sure, Ainsley is capable of empathy, and I don’t think she’d ever kill anyone but she’s definitely narcissistic. More so than Malcolm, whose isn’t narcissistic so much as he is obsessed with finding out the truth. More so than Jessica, who really just wants to be less lonely since the world abandoned her twenty years ago. 

13:20 - This is a really interesting point that Martin brings up. He’s technically mentally ill. Does he deserve sympathy for it? I mean, he killed people. I have anxiety disorders and chronic depression. I have a bipolar uncle. A narcissistic grandmother diagnosed with manic depression with psychotic elements (actually, in a lot of ways my grandmother is like Martin Whitly). I understand mental illness. But the second that someone kills another person...that’s where my sympathy ends. At that point I don’t care if you’re mentally ill - you took someone else’s life for pleasure. You shouldn’t be getting fancy therapy and an all-expenses paid trip to a psychiatric hospital. You should be getting the electric chair. (Sorry if this is getting political - I’m generally against the death penalty but psychopathic serial killers and child abusers are the exception to my stance).

13:38 - The darkest of nights?!?! Martin you are making me so angry right now. You sleep like a baby. You have no conscience. That’s literally the definition of a psychopath. You have no dark nights. Your son on the other hand. UGH. 

14:10 - *sigh* look at this. He’s making everything about him. In doing so he’s actually belittling his daughter and her career choice. What kind of a loving father does that?

15:44 - This little moment when Ainsley tells Malcolm that she’s staying is concerning to me. She is so desperate to find her father’s affectionate side that she watches her brother interact with him. She genuinely believes that she is the least favourite child.

16:30 - In this scene Martin says he’s never been to the Bronx. But by the end of this episode we find out that Martin briefly worked at St. Edwards Hospital in the Bronx. Just more proof that Martin is a liar. I don’t know what else to tell you. 

17:10 - Look at that face. That is a man who doesn’t care about his son. That is a man who will say anything to keep Malcolm in the room. To play with Malcolm’s head. That is not a father. That is a monster. Look at how sad Malcolm looks by the end of this interaction. How upset. How scared. He is genuinely starting to believe that he might’ve helped his Dad hurt someone. 

18:56 - Ainsley’s excitement to walk back into that room is concerning. There is ambition and there is obsession. She is obsessed. It isn’t healthy. 

19:25 - “I’d like to discuss one more. Malcolm.” This scene absolutely shatters my heart. For multiple reasons. a) Ainsley just put her career before her brother. She is intentionally starting a conversation that she knows will upset her brother (in front of her brother) because she believes that it will get the results she needs. This is one of the reasons I believe Ainsley is the Whitly child most similar to Martin. AND b) look at Malcolm’s reactions. He is utterly heartbroken. He feels betrayed by his sister. Embarrassed that his father knows about his diagnoses. Embarrassed that this discussion about his mental health is being filmed for television. He looks so sad and defeated here. I just want to hug him. AND FINALLY c) Martin is incapable of even acknowledging that his action have had any sort of negative impact on Malcolm. 

20:15 - And there he is. The most honest form of Martin Whitly. Angry. Explosive. Violent. Things aren’t going his way and that’s unacceptable to him.

20:53 - Another moment that annoys me about this episode. How convenient is it that the alarm starts going off JUST as Martin finishes his little outburst? It’s just timed a little too coincidentally. I know I know. It’s necessary for the plot and the time constraint of the episode. 

21:24 - Look at that. Three people concerned about your shaky handed boy. My heart is full. 

22:18 - Ainsley and Malcolm laughing over their Mom’s phone calls is cute. BUT I feel like Malcolm should be a little more upset with Ainsley right now. I know they’re in a lockdown situation and he probably doesn’t want to fight with her in case that something bad happens to one of them but still. Siblings fight. She treated him poorly. He should be mad at her right now. Malcolm’s acting like nothing happened.

23:55 - Martin is the worst. He really refuses to answer his children’s relevant questions until the camera is rolling. Ugh. Mr. David is not getting paid enough to deal with this family.

25:40 - It’s absolutely disgusting that Martin is so unconcerned when both of this children are in danger, in his presence. Also can someone please explain to me why there was a crow bar in the camera equipment bag? Like for real? That’s not a thing I can see Claremont security approving to enter a serial killer’s cell.

27:00 - It’s not often that I believe that Malcolm is the most rational person in the room (excluding Mr. David of course) but Ainsley and Martin are positively crazy in this scene. Ainsley is desperate and scared but Martin is manipulating her. At least Malcolm has enough common sense to keep a knife away from a serial killer. 

28:34 - The flashback. Martin is holding Malcolm’s hands, guiding the knife. Did Malcolm fight his father before this moment? Was Malcolm drugged into submission? I really need to know more about this. Malcolm looks terrified in the flashback though - he definitely didn’t take the knife willingly.

29:00 - Look at Malcolm’s face. That is pure terror. That is internal conflict. He wants to help his sister. He would do anything for her because he’s her big brother and big brothers are protective. BUT he’s also terrified of giving his father a knife. AND he’s terrified of the flashback that he just had. Look at Malcolm’s face when Martin takes the scalpel. Holy crap. That boy is not sleeping tonight.

31:02 - Another instance where I really don’t support Ainsley. Video tapping the un-consented surgery (yes it was an emergency, I know) performed by a serial killer on her boyfriend. Like. Dude. No. So not appropriate. But she’s doing it a) to try and earn her father’s love and attention and b) she thinks the story will help her career. It’s all about her. And that scares me. 

32:45 - JT and Dani look concerned again. They’re like “What’s the dumbass going to do now?”

33:00 - I love this scene. Gil and Jessica. This conversation is sweet, and intimate in a way that only people with a shared concern can be. How many conversations do you think they’ve had over the years about Malcolm and Ainsley? They’re both worried about their kids. It’s precious and I love it. Also - another example of how Jessica’s heart is in the right place. She really does love her children. 

35:15 - New York Direct News?!? I thought Ainsley worked for American Direct News? Did Malcolm purposely use a different network name? 

35:55 - Is Malcolm giving that look to Ainsley or Martin? I can’t tell. 

37:40 - I feel you Jessica. I feel you girl. He’s playing with both of your children’s hearts now. You are justified in being livid.

38:18 - Concerned Papa Gil for the win! :) <3 

39:24 - I’m really glad that Malcolm is at least aware that his father is playing with he and Ainsley.

40:55 - I love how this episode ends. A rare, intimate moment between Malcolm and his mother. A softer side of Jessica we rarely see, comforting her upset son. Followed by a confused, terrified and equally vulnerable side of Jessica going to the basement.

Dang. This one got long. Sorry. Thanks for hanging out. I’ll post again soon. 

[faneliacosplay]

Top 10 of 2018

C2018 was a year is this nicest way I can sum it up. My precious fur-baby passed away after fighting a horrible illness and is in a happier place, my health went crazy (still is as of writing), and I finally broke free from an abusive toxic person who had been controlling me for a huge chunk of my life. Despite the bad things that happened, I want to focus on the good things of 2018. One of things I began doing in January of 2018 was at the end of every week, I would write down all of the good things that happened to me, be it sewing, watched a good movie, spending time with a friend, etc. So without further ado, here’s my Top 10 of 2018! (I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S ALREADY MARCH!!)

1. The Ancient Magus’ Bride

-      I’ve been a lifelong fan of Beauty and the Beast-like stories ever since I watched the classic Disney film. The manga kept popping up in my recommendations for the majority of 2017 and I remember seeing a poster at my local theater for a premiere showing of the first 3 episodes of the then-upcoming anime (I have since regretted not going to this showing). I finally caved and bought the first two volumes of the manga and literally went back to the store two days later and bought the next 2 volumes. I’ve always been a very picky person with my romance be it movie, novel, anime, manga, etc., but this quickly became one of my favorites with it’s excellent world-building, relationships, and don’t even get me started on how gorgeous the animation is! If you want an excellent Beauty & the Beast adaptation, you won’t be disappointed. (I am unashamed of crying happy tears in public while watching the final episode)

2. Satoshi Kon’s Filmography

-      My New Year’s resolution was to watch all of the late Satoshi Kon’s works, starting with his debut film Perfect Blue. I had wanted to watch this film for several years, and it did not disappoint. (I kept spamming for people to go and see it when it got a theatrical re-release in Fall 2018) Next was Kon’s final project Paprika, which I watched about 3 times in May and many times over 2018 and still notice something new every time I watch it. Finally, I watched *the* film that I have wanted to watch for many, many years (since 2004 to be exact): Millennium Actress. I was not prepared for how moving this film would be with its themes of the past vs. present, how an ordinary encounter can lead to something so much more, and lastly: love transcends time. If you could only watch one of Satoshi Kon’s works, please choose to watch Millennium Actress. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to watch Kon’s other two works, but I aim to in 2019 (along with reading his works)

3. Slayers

-      I watched some of Slayers back in middle school and in summer 2016, but never took off with it until in 2018. I knew I would like this funny series about the adventures of a fiery sorceress, dumb as a stump swordsman, optimistic hero-in-training, and an overly-serious chimera, but I had no idea it would become one of my top 10 favorite anime series! I haven’t laughed so much with an anime in a while, and I greatly appreciated it since my fur-baby passed away and this was one of the last anime we watched together. There’s just something about 90s fantasy anime that’s just so appealing. I will throw in that while I love the tv series, the films are worth watching too, with The Motion Picture being my favorite. If you need something to cheer you up, I highly recommend Slayers!

4. Venom

-      Confession: I did not have high hopes for this movie. I was the only one among my friends who was uninterested in this film whenever we would watch the trailers/promos/etc. Eventually after this movie came out, my friends and best friend convinced me to see it. My sociology buddy told me “This movie wasn’t marketed right! Go see it!!” and another told me “This is the best action rom-com of 2018.” The next day my family asked me if I wanted to see it and Bohemian Rhapsody (also an excellent film) and I said “Sure!” This film has since spawned never-ending jokes between me and my best friend. (I ended up making her a Venom scarf for Christmas!) If you’re trying to get someone to see this film, don’t show them the trailers depicting it as a dark, gritty, action thriller, show them the home video trailer depicting it as a rom-com because that’s exactly what it is. I still can’t believe that a movie about a human falling in love with a man-eating gooey alien is real.

5. The Shape of Water

-      “2017 will be remembered as the year men screwed up so badly, women started dating fish.”- Jimmy Kimmel, 2018 Oscars. I’m beginning to see a pattern for stories of humans falling in love with monsters. My mom and I wanted to see this film after the trailer dropped in summer 2017 and were disappointed when the film didn’t play here. However, sometime in February 2018, this film played in our town for one weekend, so we dashed to the theater. I don’t even know where to start with how beautiful this film is and since several people I know still haven’t watched it I’ll just state this: Please watch this film. It earned the 4 Oscars it won. (It earned all 10 it was nominated for!)

6. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse

-      I almost didn’t see this film. 2018 was a pretty hectic year for me and I didn’t really keep up with films/entertainment news, so I saw no trailers for this film (except for a really short tv ad). All I knew was what my best friend had said: “Brianna, let’s go see Spider-verse. In 3D.” (y’all, 2018 was the year of listening to my best friend) It was so nice not only to see a different Spider-Man, a diverse cast, a well-curated soundtrack, and a completely new style of animation that makes you feel as though you’re reading/watching a comic book??? Sign me up! I’m so happy this film won the Oscar!!

7. Macross Frontier Movies

-      I’ve fallen deep into the Macross hole in the past year or two and have no plans of crawling out. The 2008 series Macross Frontier was my first and favorite entry in the series so far. I knew that there were two recap/alternate retelling films made, so when I was free one day I watched them and I was really surprised that I enjoyed them more than the tv series!? I haven’t really mentioned this, but my big problem with the tv series of Frontier was it’s ending being not too good. I don’t want to ruin it since Macross (particularly made after 2001) is a bit unknown in the USA, but I will say that if you want to get into this franchise, start with the Frontier movies or with the iconic Macross: Do you remember love? film. The music is just as good as the tv series, same with the costumes, and the writing is much better! The performance of Northern Cross at the climax of The Wings of Goodbye was really moving. Not “Do you remember love?” moving, but pretty close.

8. Sailor Moon Theatrical Double-Feature

-      Everyone who knows me knows that I’ve loved Sailor Moon for pretty much all of my life (ever since the 3rd & 4th seasons aired on Toonami back in the day!) A holiday tradition for me was to watch the 2nd theatrical every Christmas Eve, unfortunately my two VHS tapes finally gave out in 2016. Thanks to Viz Media, this past summer saw theatrical re-releases of all 3 Sailor Moon films. Shockingly, my local theater was showing the films subbed so my mom and I bought our tickets right away. It was so surreal seeing these films that I grew up with on the big screen, and I know non-Sailor Moon fans won’t get this, but hearing/watching the whole “Moon Revenge” sequence in the theater was so intense. This part never got to me as a kid for some weird reason and I had no idea I was crying until my mom pointed it out at the end of the film. With the 2nd film, seeing Luna transform into a human was emotionally moving as always, just 10 times more since it was on the big screen with that nice surround sound system. That night when I got home, I didn’t get any sleep since I still couldn’t believe that this happened. The now 20+ years old Sailor Moon movies got released for the first time in USA theaters. This is an experience I’m going to remember for the rest of my life.

9. Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card Arc

-      I was so excited when a sequel to Cardcaptor Sakura was announced. Like Sailor Moon, I watched this series as the heavily-edited Cardcaptors on Toonami. When I got older and learned that there was more anime out there besides the ones I saw on TV, I went back and watched Cardcaptor Sakura to get the whole, magical story and even read the manga, which I believe is the greatest children’s manga ever made. I loved every single moment of the new series and felt as though I were watching another episode of the classic series. The only thing that felt different was that the animation is no longer hand-drawn. (it’s still good) When you reboot or make a sequel to a series be it tv, film, or book, sometimes it’ll miss the charm that made it so enjoyable in the first place. Clear Card thankfully still carries the charm its predecessor had.

10. Little Witch Academia

-      I had started this anime around holiday 2017 but didn’t finish it until early 2018. This was one of the most optimistic series I’d ever had the pleasure of watching. I don’t want to compare the two, but the inspirational message that Kiki’s Delivery Service gave me when I was 10, was the exact inspirational message you will find in Little Witch Academia. (and that I needed to hear as a 20-year-old) I was starting to get a bit depressed and losing confidence in myself with my science grades getting lower no matter what I tried, as well as other things in my personal life. After dropping Science, I had a long wait between classes, so I decided to start watching Little Witch Academia again. Seeing our protagonist Akko trying her best at flying a broom and failing was me with my science grades, but her determination to get her broom just a few centimeters off the ground was so inspiring to watch. After this I watched the other Studio Trigger works I had yet to see, and while they’re all good in their own way, none of them have left the imprint LWA left on me. Sometimes when I get frustrated or lack confidence in myself, I tell myself Shiny Chariot’s words of wisdom that motivated Akko throughout the series: “Never forget your beautiful dreams. Believing is your magic!!”