#if she cant hold that down then off to the vet we go@

[jacqcrisis]

Every time Chili ruins something, I have to take a moment to calm down cause I tend to get unreasonably angry very quickly and need to logic my way back to baseline by reminding myself of two things:

A) so far, objects needing to be thrown out/intensely cleaned due to dog have mostly been involuntary ruined due to sickness: her bladder infection when I first got her to just now as she regurgitated all over three (cheap) rugs

B) she has still cost me less money with a couple of wrecked dog beds and rugs than if I had bought a puppy as was my original plan for dog ownership, who would've wrecked way more shit by now along being attached to a potential 2k price tag.

I got a great dog who came mostly pre-trained, who only destroys her stuffies and tennis balls, who never makes any noise save to cry at me when I don't let her sleep in my lap, and who only cost me 100 bucks at the shelter. She can ruin 40 fifty dollar rugs and I'd still come out on top.

[cookie-crumblr]

Hype Train!

F! Streamer Reader x M!Yandere Streamer OC

Part 7~

His Info: 📹✨

Part: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

!!!MINORS DNI!!!

CW: !F reader, use of she/her when referring to reader, reader has a vagina, YANDERE, pet names (pretty, pretty girl,good girl, ), private jet ride(it’s a fantasy world let’s pretend it’s not killing the planet faster XC), exhibitionism, smut, P in V, NSFW, livestream sex, sex in front of others, teasing, cock keep away(lol i cannot remember what that’s called i’ll edit later XD)

“Mroooooooow”

“it’s okay, pretty baby! It’s just a short trip, Jasper said so!” You coo at Opal, knowing it’s not gonna stop her from howling the whole way there.

She doesn’t even like car trips, you hate to have to put her through a wholeass plane ride.

Uhg.

You hope her poor little ears don’t pop.

“Hey Jasper, can we stop at the emergency vet before we go back to your place? I just wanna get Opal some pain meds if possible.”

“Our place, y’mean. And ‘f course, pretty.” He pulls your hand not going toward tsa.

“H-hey Jasper, tsa is that way…” you point.

“We’ll be headin’ that way ina sec…” He knocks on a door you didn’t even notice.

“Jasper? isn’t that like a maintenance door or something?”

He laughs, “Yeah, pretty, it is.”

someone answers only a second later, Jasper holds up his ID.

You look quizzically.

The man then checks something off on his tablet, takes your bags, and ushers you both to tsa.

He guides you to the front of the line, “Jasper???” You whisper.

“Yes, pretty girl?” His smirk is too much and you roll your eyes.

“What is all this, there was a line.”

“Yeah. Don’t gotta wait when you have your own jet.”

“WHAT?!” Everyone looks at you a little annoyed, mostly just confused until they look back at their phones. “Jasper, you didn’t mention you had a JET. How??? do you even??? What is your JOB again?”

“Streamer,” He grins, looking back at you as if it’s nothing.

“Streamers don’t ever make that much money Jasper!” you try and keep your voice down, and you end up hissing.

“MROOOOOOOOWWWWWW” Opal yowls again.

Jasper sticks his fingertip in her carrier and scritches her chin, smiling to himself.

“…”

Your jaw drops.

“Ya like it, pretty?” he leans in close you your ear. It probably would have turned you on, if you weren’t so flabbergasted.

“Why is there a fucking bed. ON A PLANE?”

“Why not? Can’t ya think of a few reasons to have one? hmm~” His teasing is both infuriating and so, so hot.

Maybe it’s more hot because it’s so infuriating?

“Jasper. this is ridiculous.” If your sharp glare could cut right through him, it would be slicing through the plane itself.

“Is it?” He drops his one bag nonchalantly onto a chair, before plopping himself onto the center couch. He stretches out like a satisfied cat.

You look for a safe place to put Opal for the ride, opting for the other chair.

His hungry eyes follow you as your back is turned, the way you bend slightly, your skirt moves forward, giving him a perfect view of your little panties.

Youre probably looking for a seatbelt.

Fretting this way and that to make sure your precious little kitty will be safe.

He can’t help grinning.

Your hands are on your hips now.

Now you stomp your foot slightly at there being no seat belt.

“She’ll be fine, pretty. Now come sit”

When you turn, the couch looks a lot smaller than it did initially…

He’s right in the middle.

You go to squeeze next to him.

“nuh uh, pretty~ righ’ here.” He pats his lap.

You swallow. “Jasper, are you even real?”

He cant help the bellowing laugh leaving his chest, “‘f course, pretty, need me t’pinch ya?” he teases.

“Maybe…”

“I can think of other ways to prove i’m real~”

His hand finds yours and pulls you over top of him.

Your knees find purchase on either side of his spread legs.

“I’m s’glad you thought ahead, pretty~” He fluffs your skirt. “Now sit.” Everytime he commands you to do something your body shudders, and obeys without hesitation.

His tented trousers poke your sensitive place instantly.

You start grinding forgetting this whole situation at the same time.

“Jasper,”

“Yes, pretty~?”

“Please don’t ever wake me.” It comes out a desperate plea.

His face says he was expecting something else, but changes to a much softer expression. He pulls you into a tight embrace.

You both sit there in each others arms for a minute.

The moment isn’t ruined, but the mood does change when his dick twitches against his jeans.

You think that must be painful…

You reach down to free him, and he gently swats your hand.

“Not yet~ Wait until the run way’s clear.”

“Jasperrrrrr” You whine and wiggle your hips.

“S’impatient~” His fingers trace your jaw. “You want my cock that bad, pretty~”

You nod, “Yes!”

You hear footfalls, and a couple bags thumping.

You spin so fast, and try to stand, but Jasper grabs your sides to hold you in his lap.

“Hey Jazzy,” You hear a voice that sounds just like his, and when you look over at them as best you can… They look exactly the same. Aside from faintly glowing eyes.

“Huh??” You spin the other way as far as you can.

“Hai there, Y/N!!” An adorable sort of looking guy speaks. He looks younger than you, but you really aren’t sure.

“Jasper” You hiss out a whisper.

“These are my dearest friends, pretty. Dev.in and Issac.”

Issac waves cutely, before looking into Opal’s carrier…

“H-hey!” You wiggle against Jasper’s grasp.

He holds firm. “Relax, pretty. Issac’s like a cat and dog whisperer rr some shit.”

True enough, Issac takes Opal out and holds her over his shoulder. She’s purring and her whining has completely stopped.

He sits in her previous spot.

Dev.in takes the other seat, dropping Jaspers bag onto the floor next to theirs.

“Jasper, I thought we were gonna…”

“We still are, pretty girl, don’t worry.”

“B-b-but!”

“Do ya not want to now that m’friends are here?”

It might be kinda hot…

You look behind you at both of them… Then to an open laptop directly behind you on the table… It’s recording, and it’s got a perfect view of your covered ass and Jaspers legs underneath you.

“A-and that?”

“We’re streamers, pretty, why don’ we show e’ryone what we were really up to…”

His dick twitches again.

You gulp.

Your hands shake as you reach for his zipper…

He doesn’t stop you this time.

You fall forward, your chest slamming into his face as the plane starts to move.

He laughs, “Ops, sorry, I’ll hold ya better,”

His grip does tighten with one hand… The other let’s go in favor of unbuttoning your top.

“mm,” You let out a quiet whimper.

“Lemme have at these, pretty,”

“‘kayyy,” You salivate looking at that huge dick of his, with that blushy pink tip and that delicious feeling piercing…

You rise up, as you do he lifts your skirt with one hand.

“Jas!-”

He holds the base of his member, angling it toward you. “C’mon pretty, sit on this cock like the good girl y’are.”

You lower yourself enough for that piercing to tease your slit. “Ah!” The contact from the hot thing, makes you whine.

“that’s m’ girl, tease yourself on my cock,” he holds it steady as you rock your hips hovering just enough over it to make you crazy.

It feels magnetic, the way it just finds your quim everytime and threatens to breach your entrance.

Your hips rotate, “mmf!” His piecing flicks your clit, “Ahh!!” then you move to where it’s just about to enter you again.

“Ja-AH!” as you whine again, he grabs your tit roughly. “J-Jasper!”

You feel the plane pick up speed, and you grab Jasper’s shoulders.

You sink down enough to take his tip, and then rise back up.

“Mmm! ah!” your breathing picks up, the teasing you’re putting yourself through is driving you mad. Your belly is burning up.

The plane lifts into the air, both your stomach and your body drop, taking him in one swift motion.

Jasper still holds your skirt up, and uses his other hand to slap against your bum.

Your back arches deeper. “Ahmmm!” You’re already feeling dumb.

The way your stomach sunk as the plane takes off and his dick filled you at the same time to meet in the middle, in some heavenly clash… Your insides twitch and your head falls back in ecstasy.

He slaps your ass again, and takes your tit into his mouth.

“Ahhhhh!!! Jas-perrrrr!” his tongue flicks your nipple, “AHH!!”

you grind harder into his lap, your stomach still sinking as the plane gets higher into the air, while your filled past the brim with his huge length.

“Ffffffuck, Jas” You don’t want to think anymore at all.

“Awww, m’girl’s already cockdrunk,”

You nod and cling to his chest, your head falls onto his shoulder.

He moves both his hands up your warming ass, and pulls your skirt further up under his hands as he grips your hips.

He slowly lifts you up, making a show of how long he is, and how you took every inch.

He teases your cunt by rolling his hips, just barely pushing back into you before pulling back out.

You’re squinting, “aaaaah mmm…”you grip him tighter.

He kisses your neck, “such a perfect girl, an’all mine”

“a-all y-yours,” you mimic.

He presses up into you, “Mmm!!!” leaving just an inch out of your tender pussy, before falling back down, “Ahh! J-Jasper, p-please just f-fuck me!”

“Aww, she managed ta get a whole sentence out, should we reward her?” He agonizingly and slowly raises his hips up maybe half way, you wiggle your hips, silently begging to be filled.

He lets his hips fall and you feel like crying, “J-jaaaassperrrr” your lip pouts.

Dev.in speaks up, reminding you of their presence along with Issac’s. You don’t care enough to try and look at them, you just hold Jasper and pray he has mercy on you. “The viewers voted to make her wait until she begs for it.”

“M’sorry, pretty girl, you heard them though…”

“Noooooooo….” You struggle, moving this way and that, “Jas!!! wan it so baaddd” you slur.

“Awww, you’re not gon’ take pity on my poor girl?”

“They wanna hear her cry.” They say coldly.

“B-but I want it so b-bad already!”

He pushes you down a little, and then lifts you back up, “Unnnnnggg! Deeper!! Please!! D-deeper!!!”

He does that again, and again, with your head lolling around, your babble incoherently.

“Sounds like she’s beggin’ guys,” He thrusts up fast, but stops so painfully short of filling you and pulls back out again!

“Just! UHG! Fuck me!!! please!” You’re so frustrated you yell at him and punch his back.

“What was that??” He does it AGAIN.

“URRRHGG!!!! JASPER!!! Pleaseee!!!!” You lose your gusto halfway through the plea, and tears are rolling off your pretty cheeks as you start to sob.

“There she goes, can I give her what she wants now?”

“Yes.” They speak for the cruel viewers.

The second that yes travels through the air, Jasper is raising his hips and slapping against you rapidly, filling you and fucking you relentlessly.

“Y-Yess!! Oh my— YES!!! Harder Jasper! Please! Fuck me harder!!!” You hold onto him for dear life, using your legs as hard as you can trying to match his thrusts while he tries to hold you still.

“Oh my fffffuck!!!” The slapping is so loud in your ears, it’s like music that you’re singing along to as you bounce with the beat.

Your ass burns as he beats your quim up with his cock.

The piercing feels like it’s fucking your cervix open for him.

There’s so much pressure!

You cum around him. “Oh! fffuck!!” your body shakes wildly for the camera. This high practically shatters reality, you don’t even remember where you are, or who’s with you other than Jasper and his safe, warm lap.

“Fffuck, pretty, you’re givin’me more?” he holds you higher so not even his tip is fully in you. He slams his hips up into you then slowly pulls out, “Isn’t my girl th’best?”

“Jas—!!” Slam! he snaps upward, “Ah!! —perrrr!!!”

You cum again as he hits deeper than ever before. It’s so close to the last one, your body never stopped shaking.

As you twitch around him he finishes deep inside you. It splashes so perfectly inside you, you don’t want him to pull out.

But he does, letting your combined cum leak out around him for the camera.

He gently pats your buttcheek, “alright pretty, lean real far forward for me,”

You do what he said, “like this?”

“Jus’ li’ that. Such a good girl f’me”

You feel him pull your pussy lips apart, and the cum leaks out slow and almost steadily.

“mmmm” you wiggle and flex your hole, pushing out more.

He tweaks your clit, “Good girl~”

Your body jumps.

“I love you pretty, pretty girl”

“I love you s’much Jasper”

[darkicedragon]

darkicedragon kentas pup at his checkup

darkicedragon frankenstein as a vet or muzaka azure YESSS XDDD CHONKY PUPPYYY darkicedragon frankenstein as a vet muzaka is the dog whisperer frankenstein has no idea how he does it 'hahaha. i uh. just get a feel for them and what theyre thinkin?' eAe maybe them meeting bc muzaka brought in a pup w a broken leg azure OH MY GOD like the office worker ww AU undercover ww vet AU where Muzaka is trying v hard to fit in and not let anyone knows he's a ww but then he does silly stuff like snacking on the doggo treats or having full conversations with doggos or wearing a flea repellent collar as a bracelet bc he accidentally got fleas from a patient XD darkicedragon tbf those might be normal things the vets and vet techs do frankenstein just eAe at him when he catches muzaka munching 'do. you need money for food?' 0w0-!! but frankenstein does notice the dogs all go nuts whenever muzaka enters

azure and he exclusively takes care of doggos, bc other animals are not happy about him esp cats Muzaka being full of scratches on his arms bc of that azure Muzaka ordering a different type of food and Franken is like ? "the other one wasn't very good" Muzaka replying without thinking and then going !! "FOR THE DOGS! IT WASN'T VERY GOOD FOR THE DOGS" darkicedragon 'oh, dont worry! i'll heal up!' eAe frankenstein cleaning muzakas arms and the scratches are already gone 'they still ate them.' 'yeah, bc food is food, but it's not what they'd PREFER, y'know?' 'no. i dont know.' 'oh. uhm. i can see how fast they rush to their bowl and theyre not running?? owo' azure Franken sort of rolling with it when he can't figure out what's wrong with a doggo or wants to figure it out more quickly, he asks Muzaka "ah, he ate something wrong." "thank you." Muzaka like owo!!! bc he's caught off guard both by replying and Franken just accepting the answer "can you tell me what hurts her?" Muzaka like >^> Franken being like o-ô "her paw" "thank you." darkicedragon frankenstein couldnt see it on xray bc it wasnt metal and it wasnt quite big enough to distend the bowel azure "you're… not gonna ask?" "hm?" "about -" how he can always tell what the doggos are saying "no, not really. if it was something I should've known, you would've told me." darkicedragon oh my god, frankenstein asking muzaka whats wrong w a pup and muzaka just ouo? 'nothing' 'hmmm. she keeps sneezing, but i cant hear anything wrong w her lungs…' 'atchoo!' 'wuff!' '……oh, she just wants to bark like her humans' //SIIIIIGHHHHHH// azure aweee 😭 darkicedragon oh, maybe muzaka comes in as a volunteer bc i was trying to figure out how hed get thru the usual teaching route 😂 what does muzaka get around w his scars or ppl think it might be from gang activity azure yesss >8D bc Franken being like =^= at him bc ur not using his shop as a money laundering front, thank u but Muzaka genuinely wants to help animals darkicedragon muzaka has sick days bc he transforms the day of the full moon but also not sure if frankenstein would notice unless muzaka was basically there full time 😂 'at this point, i think we should be paying you…' muzaka being called in w the aggressive dogs, and they just calm down around him. he picks them up and holds them to his chest and they fall asleep while frankenstein is doing his checks but also muzaka trying to give advice abt why the dogs are so aggressive maybe his side job is dog training or something azure yesss XDDD Muzaka just picks up the doggo like "now now, no need to be so fussy." doggo grumbling and being all =^= but being held is nice azure yessss maybe he was in the military that's why he has the scars and he decided change it up

[91vaults]

What sparked your last breakup and what has got you hung up about it?

Ok I'm sorry but this is gonna be long.

breakup comes literately out of nowhere, one of those "i cant be in a relationship right now" things, ( ill call her Dianne ) had a rather blaze attitude to mental health where you just have your coping mechanisms and power through, except (and this is just my perspective on what happened) the coping mechanisms stopped working and I think they freaked out and quote " I can't be the girlfriend you deserve" and "I have to let you go". things had always been very cruisy ...so it was odd that the second she felt she had to address some MH issues she just decided it was best to cut and run? that doesn't usually happen like that. Everyone I spoke too after the fact was as confused as I was...even the psychologist I was seeing at the time was like "wut?"

I said I would support them through it but no....and it was very much framed in terms of ME and what I needed...which was a bit of a mind fuck because for someone to do that and then just not listen when you try and say otherwise is...a well meaning but kind of cruel thing to do, Dianne had a habit of making assumptions and running with them...and it felt like they got this notion the night before that I was better off regardless of how I actually felt

They got really fixated on the idea of my "next girlfriend" and it would all be ok because the "next girlfriend" would retroactively fix everything. And then proceeded to tell me about what my next girlfriend should be like...superficial shit I didn't care about. It also deeply hurt me that she told me I should be with someone into fashion and tattoo's and such like me, which made me feel like it was going to be an issue with every person I dated and just completely ignores what I actually value in a partner.

Imagine your at the vet and your dog is getting put down and as the vet is putting in the needle they say "yeah look this dog isn't the right dog for you, your NEXT dog is gonna be great. You should get a terrier...you're more of a terrier person" like holy shit let me just deal with whats happening right now.

I know she's someone who moves on from things very quickly and I don't think they actually understand how people work sometimes (I also don't think she's been on the receiving end of a major breakup) , so she might have just assumed I'd be like her and be sad about for like 4 weeks and get straight on the apps.

I had no Idea things had gotten to that point...and they never spoke to me about ANYTHING. So instead of being able to work on things (eg: her anxiety about money and me liking to buy things..perhaps too much) they just decided nope, I don't want to hold you back from the things you like...referencing past conversations and I just couldn't tell her otherwise.

What was so awful she was trying to spare me from? supporting and compromising are normal things even if it doesn't work out. Nothing could have been worse than those months after..I'm still a bit fucked up inside and it might take a year from the date of breakup for me to get past that.

We met up when I felt the time was right, 5 months (possibly earlier) she apparently felt better and was back on the apps...had gone on a visit to her home country and was on the apps there...and that's ok I knew that would be the case, but I wouldn't be human if it didn't cut me a little. She hadn't been for years and I think it made her want to go back and work there...which I am happy for her, maybe I was holding her back in that way, but it also hurts. I'm too that things didn't always align. Before COVID she had intended to move to Melbourne, but circumstances changed and she bought s house here..seemed she wanted to settle down. I felt lucky, but also had often had thoughts of wanting to move there. Now she wants to move to where she grew up in and do all these cool things (like go to pride in taiwan later in the year) and I feel like there's too much to give up if I moved, especially because I feel I'm finally finding my feet, I'm happy here but this is a small city, if she leaves then do all the people I'd want to be with leave? is this not the place for them? will I never find somone? we all get those thoughts of "am I too scared to be bold"?

Don't get me wrong, I am someone who takes things very hard. a breakup would have been devastating either way but this is worse. If it had been because she felt there were irrevocable differences then I could understand that (and there may have been) if it was because she wanted to go back to where she grew up then I would understand that. if our plans didn't align then I would understand that. But this? it haunts me to think that it only happened because she decided on my behalf. Like I was an exotic bird that needed to be let out of its cage instead of a person. It haunts me to think that if I had said "Hey I deserve better than this lets at least talk about it" then at the very least I would have understood better

I am genuinely happy for the most part, and I genuinely don't want to get back on the apps. But true at the same time I'm a bit fucked up when it comes to the idea of dating because for part of me to not date is to exercise agency because I had it all stripped away.

and I guess that's the thing, its the way it happened and it's partially the why. It's essentially the absolute worst way to be broken up with.

They didn't do me a favor. The fact is sometimes stuff happens and it sucks. Sometimes it sucks more for one person than the other, and sometimes things suck for a little while before they get better (like dating, that can really fucking suck sometimes) and that's OK and to try and spin it and insist it's all gonna be better and great right after the fact just hurts. The previous relationship doesn't have to be worse for the next one to be good

We are still friends (I took a break and waited until the time was right to initiate contact) , and the friendship feels right and when we're together I'm not upset (maybe a little pang when they mention dating but that's normal) it's only when I'm alone and having the conversation in my head do I spiral a bit . They haven't really talked about or acknowledged anything...but that's a very Dianne thing to do.

But the good thing is once the time is right we can have that conversation, and once that hanging thread is delt with then I'll be able to shut the door on the matter (hopefully depending on how the convo goes).

[skaluli]

hello have some kitty pics gonna life update below the cut but if you dont wanna read, please just enjoy the kitty pictures.

i guess i kinda just wanna log some stuff thats going on right now since a lot has been happening in the span of short notice. mostly logging for myself.

construction is happening at my nanas house which has been messing her up a lot. she no longer understands the house layout and doesnt know where her bedroom or the bathroom is anymore. dementia is a bitch.

mum and dad put these ""signs"" up but she cant understand them. i know you may wonder "how in the doesnt she understand a word and an arrow??" give her a break lmao.

anyway another thing. freddie escaped jesus christ that was horrible. me and my brother ended up walking up and down multiple blocks just trying to find him. looking under cars and in trees ... looking over the high fences into neighbours backyards with torches in the middle of the night (dont tell them).

we ended up finding him alive and not run over. and he WAS in a neighbours backyard so HA. (technically he was hiding in their shed scared out of his fucking mind. still in the neighbours backyard though so it counts. office you cant arrest me for snooping, it was for the greater good.)

i realise this is going on too long im gonna speed it up

he had a cut on his chin so without thinking my brother used dettol on him to try and clean it up. dont ask his thought process, he was tired, and only looked it up after he already did it. i tried telling him that there would be a cat version of that stuff and not to use it but he's losing it so you live and learn.

ANYWAY so fuck freddie gets thrown to the fishes (the vet), the capitalism bill is 2000 and my brother doesnt have the funds. i transfer my money to him. (out of my savings, dont tell future me) freddie makes it back home and we now have to watch him like a hawk in case anything bad happens so we then can race his ass back to the vet so he doesnt die.

had to hold him down and got clawed as my brother tried flushing out his mouth and then again when giving him the meds. (i dont blame him. i would fucking freak out too. most sane reaction.) (also dont worry freddie forgave us and purred like a motor which was great except when we were trying to listen to his heart beat and only heard a car going off.)

the cats are going with my brother to victoria when freddie is no longer on death watch.

dads sick as a dog and can barely leave his bed.

we ate left out cold pizza.

mario.

[theramseyloft]

7/30/21

Waiting for the call from UGA to get Khou.

Doing the most urgent loft work in the meantime.

Just finished mucking nest boxes.

The time has come to employ the loft's little tower fan.

As well insulated as it is, it's still a metal building and the AC unit just cannot complete.

Blowing at full strength, you can't feel it more than 6 in from the vent.

Good gawd, I started at 7:30am, and it is SO humid that in an hour of work, I'm dripping, and have developed the tell-tale muscle aches, nausea, and lip-tingling of heat exhaustion.  Came in to cool back down after setting up the tower fan.

Patron: "A fan in the window would help"

"The easiest way to keep a space as cool as possible is to create a path of airflow"

Thank you

Ok!

Breakfast eaten, water get, time to resume!

I laid this fucking brick out to hose down yesterday...

The Fire Nation used it as scaffolding to build a nursery and fill it with larva that quickly.

This is why I have to be so aggressive about treating them, and why my loft help just turning the bricks and weight stones shit side down is so dangerous.

Patron: "Holy shit! Fire ants are insane."

Patron: "They are an aggressive species from the Amazon, of course they're aggressive and quick lol"

Patron: "Oh! They are not native to the US? I never knew that! I just remember learning very quickly when we moved to the south from Canada that they are mean little bastards"

They are not!  

They are adapted to the river banks and survive the frequent flooding by clinging together in living rafts.  

An individual can hold her breath up to 14 days, allowing the rafts to survive until they make landfall again.  

They really love the American south because the high humidity keeps soil moist enough to build mounds in very quickly without the disruption of floods to cause breaks in reproduction.

Patron: "That explains so much"

They are able to remain in constant larva factory mode, and with all US populations only coming from a few accidentally imported queens, they are closely enough related not to see any other US fire ant colony as a rival.

So the entire US population of fire ants is a single massive supercolony with neither predators nor competition.

Patron: "That is super disturbing"

"But also very informative."

Yeah, they are monsters here that absolutely will hunt and eat you if they get the opportunity.

My husband and I used to have our bed against the wall.

The little bitches swarmed in by hundreds through a hole in the insulation one night in the second year we were married, infested the blankets, and woke us up by stinging us en mass.

Patron: "i cant imagine how fucking horrifying that was to wake up to"

I still have nightmares.  

I can't fall asleep by laying there with my eyes closed.  

You know how there are always after images when you close your eyes? Usually just meaningless, wandering patches of light and dark?  

That's what the swarm on my skin looked like in the dark, and instead of just being patches of light and dark, my asshole brain highlights their segments, legs, and animates their attack behavior of clamp on with jaws, sting until prey stops moving, or ant is crushed or otherwise pried off.  

I get the most ungody adrenaline spike if I'm not too physically exhausted to notice the visual.

It makes trying to fall asleep a real bitch for me.

Got an update call about Khou.

They don't have a specific time for him to get his CT scan done, beyond that it will happen today.

If it happens late enough in the day that he won't be fully recovered from sedation by the time they close, we'll have to wait until tomorrow to come get him.

Patron: "How far is it to Athens from where you are? You said you took him to UGA right?"

Two hour drive.

Patron: "Hang in there. Fingers crossed they can do it early today"

Thank you.

Neither I, nor my husband are really ok with out him.

The house feels wrong...

Had to come back in for the permethrine.

The fire nation is trying a different foraging approach into the loft and fuck no.

Threshold treated.

Komodore asked Patch to smooch-feed her

Farthing tread Luxie.

Then he crouched to be tread and she, then Alex, tread him.

I think I was wrong about Mote.

Wukong looks lighter than he is because of his chest fluff.

Close inspection of their wings shows Mote to have the same pattern as Wukong, obscured by the deeper Dirty pigmentation of babies under 4 months.

Arco has been doing the best job helping Passenger set her Fegg.

Leela is quite insistently crouching for Nobu, but her foob kinda over balances her when he's on top, causing her to stumble into a tilted run under him to keep from faceplanting.

He hangs on with the brazen tenacity of a bull rider, and has managed to finish three times today.

It is exactly as hilarious as it sounds, and I'll try to catch it on video, if I can.

Look at Arco on his practice egg <3

Patron: "a grown boy!"

Just got an update from UGA.

khou just finished his CT, but they close at 5pm, and he's unlikely to have recovered enough to be discharged in two hours, even if I left right now.

The projected discharge is between 9 and 10am.

His little heart stopped.

(Pretty much every Patron sent their condolences)

Cousins: "We're on the way, Dani, I'm sorry!  30-40 minutes i think ..."

Can't wait.

We can go say goodbye, if we leave now and fold space.

Husband: "The vets are trying one more time to get his heart to start back up.  We are on the road now."

We got to UGA.  

No word on if the last effort succeeded.

Waiting for his Dr to come see us.

Husband: "He didn't make it."

Husband: "He had lesions in his lungs.  The sedation was too much for his damaged lungs to handle."

Patron: "im so sorry. is there any idea what the lesions are from?"

Husband: "Not yet.  They have not gotten all the results back from his tests yet."

"The vet took a clay imprint of his feet with his name on it."

Patron: "sending all the love to both of you"

Husband: "Thank you.  We both are recovering."

Thank you so much to all of my patrons for the outpouring of loving condolences.

[fear-before-valor]

AU Ficlet: Jim, who was raised by the Order from the age of five, attends Arcadia Oaks High, for his first day of human high school. Weird things happen in Arcadia, though, and his appearance seems to be one such weird thing to the residents in this small, strange town... 

Aka: How an Order-raised Jim met Toby and Claire

Words: 2939 II Warnings: none II ok to rb --

Jim dropped his backpack at the empty desk next to one Tobias Domzalski’s, one of the only people at school who’d been properly friendly to him so far. It was Jim’s first day of mortal high school, and he’d been vetted mercilessly by every student group but Tobias’s, though he was beginning to suspect that said group consisted of only Tobias.

Of course, Jim had been screening his peers right back, but it was still exhausting. He thought he’d been ready after the Order’s… extensive lessons on humanity, and how to fit in with the mortals like himself, but already, everything he’d done felt like it must have been a social faux pas of some kind.

Act quiet around the quiet kids? Then no one speaks, until the silence grows so long that it’s awkward, and starting up a conversation makes it feel painfully forced. So, okay, maybe find some louder kids and try to blend in with them. Except, they start to grow obnoxious, and at some point, the headache simply stops being worth it.

Jim wasn’t even going to dare try and bond with the overly studious; he wasn’t here to vie for valedictorian, nor was he all that interested in making grades that separated him from the pack. Not to mention, he much preferred whatever lessons the Order could teach him anyway. They were very practical things, going over philosophy, strategy, combat, computations. He was already conversational in Bellroc and Skrael’s original languages, and though he knew Spanish would be equally valuable, the Spanish teacher seemed… intense, in a way that Bellroc and Skrael, who could likewise be rigorous sometimes, were not.

In fact, the only class he was indeed eager to take was history—and, okay, perhaps physical education didn’t sound horrendous, so long as he was careful about holding back in certain areas—because while he could learn plenty of history from his very ancient guardians, to hear of human history from the mouths of humans, like himself… it sounded unique, in a way that he hoped was amenable, at the very least, if not genuinely interesting or entertaining.

As he sat down in the chair beside Tobias, the boy seemed to light up, beaming over at Jim, a reaction that he hadn’t expected from his peer. He’d thought he’d rather botched his first conversation with Tobias in homeroom that morning, as he hadn’t known anything about anything that Tobias had referenced (what on earth was Gun Robot?). But, evidently, he must have done something well—or at least, acceptably— because Tobias was leaning over and excitedly holding out his hand to show Jim something which clattered in his palm as he moved. Politely, Jim glanced over to see what it was, and—oh.

Oh no.

That was definitely the remains of a troll.

Tobias was holding out small, grey pebbles for him to see, on which Jim could just make out hints of tattoos that had been etched into the troll while they were alive.

Holding back his mild panic, he gave a tight smile and a nod, as his classmate diagnosed them incorrectly as gneiss—which, admittedly, Jim thought wasn’t a bad guess, really. It’s not like the other boy had any reason to think that the rocks he was holding were anything but an average metamorphic stone.

Tobias was looking to Jim for a response, though, so he opened his mouth to speak, breathing in—

—magic.

Jim froze once more. The distinct tingle of magic had just washed over his senses, keen and undeniable, unlike anything else he’d felt that day.

It was raw, underdeveloped, not yet bolstered by the right teacher, but it was there, and it spoke in tones of purple, pulsing with potential.

Jim was no wizard himself, much preferring combat to the arcane arts, having not a strong penchant for it or its intricacies and delicate, temperamental nature, but even still, he’d been raised with the three most powerful magic-users in the known world. They’d taught him from youth how to recognize when magic was present, how to glean as many clues as he possibly could about it, or who might have cast it, might be walking in it, based on its style and scent, its intensity, or its intentionality. He wasn’t quite the best at sensing the finer details, nor could he find it when it was masked, but when it was open, unhidden, he could feel it like a mild electric shock that one might get when touching a door handle in dry weather; he could sense it like the faint scent of ozone during a storm, or like a prickle on the hairs on the back of his neck, when lightning was about to strike.

What’s going on? He thought, as he turned his head in the direction of the epicenter of the magic. First, there’s troll remains in the hands of a classmate with the same schedule as him, and then there’s—the girl, there. The girl with the blue streak in her hair.

The witch.

She’d caught him staring, as she set her books down on a desk in the front row, a couple columns over from his. Beside her plopped down two more girls—her friends, Jim noted, as they chattered familiarly, cheerfully.

The girl gave him an awkward smile, then, and Jim realized that he must have been staring for a few moments too long, so he rapidly flicked his eyes back to the surface of his own desk, trying not to think about the flush he could feel splash across the back of his neck, or the tips of his ears.

Tobias did not grant him such grace.

“Ooh,” he grinned, smug as a cat in a sunbeam. “That’s Claire Nuñez. President of the drama club, valedictorian candidate, great actress. She’s tied with Seamus Johnson and Shannon Longhannon for top of the class right now, I heard. She’s wicked smart, and—Jim?” Tobias huffed, “Are you paying attention to me?”

Jim’s eyes darted back to his new friend, from where they’d been briefly studying Claire Nuñez’s back, trying to get a more in-depth read on her arcana. He nodded distractedly. “Yeah, yeah, smart, a president; I heard you.”

Tobias sighed, shaking his head. “Jim.”

Jim raised an eyebrow, indicating that he was listening.

“She’s out of your league.” He deadpanned. “She’s super popular, and you’re, no offense, definitely not.”

Jim shot Tobias a confused look, brow furrowing. “What do you mean?”

The boy stared openly at Jim. “What do you mean, ‘what do you mean’? Do you really not— Oh my god.”

Jim blinked. “What?”

Tobias shook his head. “Jim, you’ve kinda… scared a lot of the people in our class today. They don’t know what to think about you. You’re like a giant question mark! No one even knows where you came from—”

“Ohio.” Jim recited his cover story, which Skrael had helped him pick the night previous. They’d chosen a city that started with a c… right. “Columbus, Ohio.”

Tobias shot him a deadpan look. “Okay, fine, Jim Lake from Columbus, Ohio. Why’d you suddenly move to Arcadia, then? Why not L.A.? Why not Burbank?”

Jim frowned. “Do you interrogate every newcomer like this? My parents got a good job opportunity here.” He held up one hand, “And before you ask—real estate.”

“Oh yeah? How come I haven’t seen them put up ads, then?” Tobias crossed his arms. “I’m just saying, dude; I think you’re cool, but you freak a lot of people out with that brooding, silent thing you do.”

Jim snorted. “I do what?”

“Y’know—”

“No, I don’t know—”

“You act, like, all silent and mysterious when people try to talk to you.” Tobias shrugged. “I don’t think it’s a bad thing, but some people don’t seem as ready to brush it off as me. I’m only telling you so that you can make more friends here.”

“Well, I have you, don’t I?” Jim’s head canted.

Tobias blinked, floundering at that. “Well—y…yeah, I guess so, but—”

“I mean, we are friends, aren’t we?”

It was Tobias’s turn to go a bit pink, shaking his head in bewilderment. “If you want, yeah, but—”

“Then there we go. I have a friend.” Jim smiled.

Tobias tried to protest, “But—” only to find himself cut off as Mr. Strickler strode into the classroom at that moment, placing a leather briefcase on his desk with a decisive thump. Cacophonous voices incrementally petered out, as attentive heads turned to the front of the classroom, where Mr. Strickler had pulled out a stack of syllabi, handing them to the student nearest the door, with the instructions to “take one and pass them,” spoken precisely to the class.

Tobias looked like he wanted to say something when Strickler turned his back to write his name on the chalkboard, but Jim shushed him from the corner of his mouth, opening a fresh, blank notebook as he did so. This was the only class he’d bothered to buy a separate notebook for, and, to be frank, was the only class he’d even intended to take notes in at all.

Tobias looked chagrined, but not angry, as he rolled his eyes and went to fetch a pencil from his own bag. Might as well have something to do with his idle hands for the next hour.

—

As his first day was winding to close, Jim had to admit, having a friend at school did end up making it a little easier.

The rest of his time there had passed largely unremarkably, since a rather thrilling start to the history curriculum. Jim’s hand had shot up just as much as the apparent reigning top of the sophomore class, one Miss Claire Nuñez’s, had— a fact which had, according to Tobias, already begun to percolate across campus.

The lesson had only briefly covered the basics of ancient Rome, going over a bit of easy, more widely known trivia, to see what the class already knew about their oncoming first unit, but, nonetheless, Jim had been eager to jump in, to talk almost directly to Mr. Strickler, going back and forth in the form of a discussion. He’d spoken quietly, quickly, and he’d felt the eyes of his peers glued to his desk, but had ignored the sensation altogether, in favor of listening to what his teacher had to say about aqueducts, instead.

When the hour had finally come to an end, in fact, he’d packed up slowly, most of his classmates abandoning the room as quickly as they could—the lunch period was about to begin—though Tobias was kind enough to wait for him. As such, Tobias was the only other person present to hear Mr. Strickler stop Jim after class, paying a brief compliment to his performance that day, and accompanying his words with a poster for the history club. Jim didn’t think his furtive smile had gone entirely missed by the teacher, but as they’d exited into the now mostly empty hallway, he forgot to worry about it further, as Tobias wasted no time in asking him how the heck his new friend knew so much about history already?

Jim had shrugged it off, saying that it was his favorite subject; and besides, didn’t Tobias— “Seriously, dude, it’s Toby, by the way”— know more about geology than anyone else in their class? The compliment had made Tobias—Toby— preen, and he’d promptly dropped the topic, instead launching into an enthusiastic lecture meant to coach Jim through the cafeteria process. Jim, who had tried to jump in to say that he’d heard this at orientation the week prior, but Toby had shot him an appalled look at that, swiftly informing him that orientation did nothing to help the social side of things. Sure, he knew the motions, but did he know how to do them without standing out in the crowd? Absolutely not—in fact, the thought was almost laughable, according to Toby.

So, Jim had grinned, followed Toby’s lead, and had just barely survived the ever-important lunch line waltz.

The rest of the day had passed mostly the same way, in the end. Toby, having warmed up to Jim, took him through the whole rest of the day, guiding him through the intricacies of Arcadia Oaks High, and by the time the final bell was ringing, Jim almost felt like a normal student. Some of his peers had even started waving to him in the hallways; he’d broken the ice, after all.

Well. He’d thought so, until Toby had said goodbye, peddling away on his bike toward home, leaving Jim alone in the courtyard by the bustling lockers, surrounded by students eager to either go home, as Toby had, or to dive into after-school clubs and sports.

Jim opted to take his time, though, to enjoy the Southern California sun, as he strolled casually across the campus, toward the front of the school grounds.

As he rounded the corner, though, intending to head toward the Arcadia Oaks sign, where he’d stop and shoot off a text to the Order that his first day had gone well, and that he’d be home soon, he felt a tap on his shoulder, instead, and heard a throat being cleared behind him.

He knew who it was before he even turned to face her; her magic had given her away as soon as she’d reached a hand for him.

Despite this, Jim whirled as if she’d caught him by surprise, schooling his features into something startled but friendly, relaxing his shoulders as a polite smile crossed his face, upon seeing her. “Oh, hey. Sorry, I wasn’t expecting—” he rethought his words, shaking his head. “Never mind. …It’s, ‘Claire,’ right?”

She nodded, returning his smile. “Yeah! And you’re ‘Jim Lake’, hm?”

Something about the way she asked that question sent up a warning bell in the back of Jim’s mind, but he tried not to look unsettled; it was probably just nerves.

“Yup; just Jim is fine, though.” He added with a casual laugh.

Claire tilted her head, continuing. “So, you’re quite the history buff, huh?”

Jim’s hands dropped to his pockets, as he glanced at his shoes, then back up to her. “Uh, yeah, I guess so.”

“You guess?” She teased. “You were on fire in class today.” She lifted her chin, to look at him head on. “Do I need to worry about you unseating me, Jim Lake from Columbus, Ohio?”

Jim snorted, shaking his head. “No, no; it’s not like that. History’s just a hobby.”

“Pretty intense hobby, if you know half as much as you seem like you do.” She raised an eyebrow at him.

Jim grinned. “Intense? Like being the president of drama club, the vice president of debate, and the supposed shoe-in for the lead in the play this fall?” he recited, much to Claire’s surprise, who shot him an impressed look.

“Huh. You sure do pay attention, don’t you?”

He glanced around, making it a leisurely movement, concealing the way he was searching for anyone who could overhear, before his eyes met hers again, as he said, “Only to certain people.”

Claire blinked, cheeks reddening, mistaking his meaning. “Oh, yeah? What kinds of people?”

Jim rolled the dice. “Well, people who seem nice, or kind, who I could make friends with. People who do things I wanna do, too, so I can have an ‘in’. Like clubs, and things.” he clarified.

“And, uh…” his voice grew hushed, “Magic-users in the human world.”

Claire’s face fell. “What was that last one?” Her nose scrunched with the skeptical look that overtook her features.

Jim’s eyes darted to look for an exit, realizing coldly—fearfully— that he had grossly miscalculated.

“Uh…” Stupid. He chided himself. Think of a lie before you go backing yourself into a corner. Skrael would be disappointed in him if he were here.

“Did you just say ‘the human world’ like you… aren’t human?” She stared at him suspiciously.

Jim blinked. “What? No. I’m human. Of course I’m human.” He gave a strained laugh. “What else would I be?”

“…Someone who thinks they aren’t?” Claire’s brow furrowed.

“It was a rhetor- well. I mean, I guess that’s true. But I’m not!” He smiled weakly, and then froze for a split-second, rapidly adding, “Someone who thinks they aren’t human! I know I’m human!”

Claire’s eyes shot to the street, where, to her poorly hidden relief, her dad had just pulled up to the curb, there to pick her up. “…Right. Well, Jim Lake from Cleveland, Ohio, my dad’s here, so I need to go, but this has been… interesting.”

Jim nodded rapidly, shooting her one more smile— a sheepish, apologetic one— as he gave her a shy wave. “…Yeah.”

Claire hoisted her backpack onto one shoulder, giving him a half-hearted wave back. “…Bye, Jim.”

“Bye, Claire.”

As she turned to leave, Jim frowned to himself. He wasn’t sure why, but something felt wrong. He supposed it could have been the awkward manner in which he’d acted, but in a flash, he decided that wanted to see her again, just in case that wasn’t it. He couldn’t be too careful.

So, before he missed his chance, he called after her retreating back, “See you around?”

Claire stopped, hand poised on the handle of the passenger side door, freezing there for a heart-pounding pause.

Then, she shot him a look over her shoulder, one of interest, meeting his eyes deliberately. Jim got the sense that he should heed it carefully.

“Yeah. See you around, Jim.”

[becca-e-barnes]

pls don’t get tired of me 🥺

i went back to work and everything was bearable and fine but saturday…. i had a good day at work. and i knew i was off today and i was so excited when i got off of work. but i had this feeling in my heart that something was off.

while i was at work, my emotional support dog of almost 4 years was hit by a car. i didn’t find out until late that night when i got home. it happened not even 2 hours after i got to my job. and we love on a dirt road (we’re southern) so they had to be going pretty fast.

my parents met me at our restaurant and we ate and i was happy but mom was quiet. about an hour and a half later we went home. we keep her inside bc she’s so small and dogs have all ready attacked our other dog to get to her in the past, she’s a pure pomeranian but she’s a “throwback” so she’s the original size. well i didn’t hear her scratching on the door like she does when she hears me come home. i go inside and i don’t see her. i call for her bc that’s the first thing i do when i get home. she’s just like a child that i birthed to me bc we are literally inseparable. ik how that sounds but there’s no other way to describe it. i love her like she’s my blood.

as soon as i call her name and look around i get confused bc i don’t see or hear her. mom is acting weird now so she’s like hold on and she gets my dad and she’s holding his hand and begins explaining:

she was outside and she likes to chase the cars that go by and i’m usually the one to tell her to get out of the road or be careful but i wasn’t there. i wasn’t there. mom said it got quiet she couldn’t hear her bark so she looked out side and called and she didn’t come. mom got worried. she happened to look over and see her in the road. trying to get up. but she said her front legs were stiff and her back legs were paralyzed almost bc she couldn’t move them. and mom loves her so much to. she picked her up and started talking sweetly to her, caressing her, holding her.

long story short she IMMEDIATELY hauled ass and hit the road calling any and every vet bc obviously she thought that she had been bitten by a snake, it’s pretty common down here. well anyways that’s how she ended up at the hospital and found out it was a car accident. hanna couldn’t even bark. and she was crying and my mom was crying. and she had to leave her there.

i cant keep going bc i’m too emo and ik it’s too much to read but she’s still there tonight and not doing any better. she might not get to walk again. but if she lives i would build and paint her any prosthetic i could. im so depressed. we all are she is literally our family. i cant live without her. she’s kept me alive for so long. i cant sleep in my bed not only bc of arachnophobia but bc her spot beside me is empty. i feel like a child that i birthed and raised with flesh and blood is in the hospital fighting for her life rn. ppl don’t realize the impact dogs have on us. she is my everything. we got so close that we both have separation anxiety for eachother. i cant function. i stayed on that one spot on the couch that’s right under where she sits on the top to look outside, all day. i couldn’t leave it. i wanted to feel close to her.

what if i lose her? how do i cope? i’m so lost. it feels like she took my heart with her. do you know what i should do? do you know what i’m feeling? everything i see reminds me of her. i still think i can hear her barks outside. im beside myself. i need someone to confide in outside of my mom. i just need you i think.

(i’m sorry if i missed some details or it doesn’t make sense i’m very not myself rn and it’s hard to think)

-r.a.

Oh my god sweetheart, I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you must be in, I truly am so so sorry, you really don’t have it easy at the moment. Literally ready to cry on the train just reading that

I couldn’t even imagine the mess I’d be in if something happened to Belle, I know I wouldn’t cope with it and I really wish there was some way I could help.

But if nothing else, you just have to focus on being strong until you’re able to cuddle her again because I just know she’d hate to think you’re upset without her there to comfort you. You can’t think about what would happen in a worst case scenario, it’ll only make it all so much harder on you and you don’t need that right now. But I know it’s probably the only thing on your mind.

And please make sure you’re taking care of yourself the best that you can. Make sure you’re sleeping and eating and focusing on your own well-being because your body is still probably recovering from that mf spider bite. You really need to be kind to yourself above anything else and if you ever need me a little more urgently, please feel free to dm me, I’ll be here. Please don’t try to handle it by yourself, you don’t need to 💗 sending you endless love and support and I’ll pray for you and your Hanna too if you don’t mind.

Also if you need a few numbers for support services I’m more than happy to find you some. I’m just conscious of the fact I’m not trained or educated enough to help as much as I’d like to so I’m more than happy to find you some professionals if you think that would be useful just to have in case it’s needed

[writingwhimsey]

The Tiger and the Oda Princess Ch. 13

Chapter 13

The next day, we all gathered for the official signing of the treaty between the Takeda forces and the Oda forces. Afterwards, there was a small opening ceremony for the festival. Shingen stood in the midst of everyone, a small platform where musicians would be performing from later. It was in the very heart of the castle town.

I was standing off to the side with the warlords from Azuchi, Sasuke, Kenshin, Yukimura, and Asuna. Though naturally my eyes were on my husband. I couldn't help but to think how handsome he looked and what a kind and caring leader he was.

"It is truly wonderful to be back home." He began. "To have this festival celebrating spring and the new beginnings it brings. A chance for us to let go of the wrongs of the past and move on to a brighter and peaceful future for everyone. Let us celebrate this new beginning."

There were cheers from all of the town and I couldn't help but to smile. Spring was indeed bringing new beginnings in so many ways. Summer would be bringing another in just a couple of months when our little one arrived.

Soon Shingen was stepping off the platform and musicians and dancers were entering and began to play. Some people stayed to listen to the music and enjoy the dancers while others went off to begin checking out all of the stalls.

It was then Shingen was at my side, his arm wrapping around my waist. I smiled up at him as he kissed my brow. "That was a good speech." I said.

"Yes, a very good one." Nobunaga agreed from my other side.

"I'm glad it didn't come out as forced as it felt." Shingen replied.

Nobunaga chuckled. "We can always rip up the treaty."

I sighed. "You guys can battle each other in a game of Go later. That's all I'm allowing."

"Yes, she will give all of you the silent treatment." Sasuke spoke up.

"We were only joking." Shingen assured me.

"Yes, unification will be easier if we remain in this alliance." Nobunaga agreed.

"Alright, I want to hear no more terrible jokes tonight or posturing from any of you." I declared, giving all of them a look. "Let's all just enjoy this lovely festival."

"Where would you like to go first, my love?" Shingen asked me.

It was then that the scent from the food stalls wafted over to me and my stomach let out a growl. "Food stalls." I answered.

Shingen smiled at me. "Perfect. There should be many sweets."

"You shouldn't eat too many sweets though, Ava. That's bad for your health and the baby's." Hideyoshi said, sounding very much like the mother hen he was.

"And Lord Shingen, I thought you were cutting back on your sweets to support Ava cutting back?" Asuna asked, looking at us.

"Dammit, now we have two of them." I muttered.

"So, you're saying we can't even indulge just this one day?" Shingen asked looking at Asuna.

"Yeah, it is a special occasion." I added.

"Oh, no you don't. I'm just going to have to be watching you even more closely." Asuna said.

We were all then making our way over to the food stalls. A savory scent was the first thing to attract my attention. It led me to a stall that had some roasted meat on skewers. We hit a few other food stalls before all going to have a seat on some long benches covered with cloth and an umbrella over them.

After enjoying the delicious food, we all set off to look at all of the vendors of the festival. It was amazing how many people were there. There were the usual shop keepers and merchants who made Kai their home, but there were others from out of town (who had been vetted very well before being allowed after my kidnapping). We also had travelers from out of town who had come to the festival.

As we walked, Shingen kept his arm around my waist, holding me close to his side. I loved it. Though part of me felt slightly awkward with everyone with us. As we walked around, we noticed some stalls with some little games set up.

"Care for a challenge, tiger of Kai?" Nobunaga asked, looking at Shingen.

"I won't back down from one." Shingen replied.

The pair looked at the games and then settled on one where they had to throw balls at a stack of bottles and knock them over. I was happy to see this game as I had been working with several of the shop keepers to come up with some different games, and this was one of them. Though there were a few I didn't come up with.

"Some competition, huh? That sounds like fun." Masamune said, his eye looking over the different games. It settled on a knife throwing game. "Hey God of war, how about we see how well you and your ninja do against me in that knife throwing game over there?"

"A battle of knife throwing?" Kenshin asked, his eyes gleaming. "Alright, Sasuke and I shall destroy you."

Somehow Mitsuhide, Hideyoshi, Yukimura, and Asuna were going to another game where they tossed bags of dried rice into wicker baskets. This was another game I had come up with with one of the shop keepers and had even made the bags. I went with Shingen and Nobunaga to their game to watch them play.

Shingen stole a quick kiss from my lips. I smiled up at him. "A kiss for good luck?" I teased.

"Of course." He answered, smiling at me.

"You will need it." Nobunaga said, eyes glinting with almost childlike excitement.

"It's not that I need the luck...however I am happy for any excuse to kiss my goddess."

I rolled my eyes. "Alright, just play the game you two." I said, stepping back to watch them.

I couldn't help but to glance around at everyone and noticed that they all seemed to be having a good time. It warmed my heart to see them all getting along and the smile that came to my face was huge.

It was then that I noticed Yoshimoto was not participating in any of the games. "Not much for games, Yoshimoto?" I asked him.

He gave me a soft smile. "I prefer to watch the others." He replied.

"Another form of art for you?" I asked.

"Something like that." Yoshimoto answered.

We stood there chatting for a bit longer enjoying watching everyone. It wasn't long however, before we were being roped into playing some of the games as well. I found myself laughing, enjoying the games. After we finished with the games we all headed to explore more of the festival.

"You're not getting tired are you, my love?" Shingen asked me.

I smiled up at him. "I'm always tired now...but it's nothing I can't handle."

"Always tired, that sounds bad. Are you overworking yourself? Shingen how can you let her overwork herself?" Came Hideyoshi's voice.

I sighed. "I'm growing another person inside my body. It kind of makes me tired all the time."

"It is a pretty normal feeling for expectant mothers." Asuna agreed.

"If you're tired we can go home." Shingen told me, ignoring Hideyoshi.

"And miss this festival? No way." I replied. "Besides I know for a fact there's some new fabrics here...and more delicious festival food."

Shingen smiled at me. "Whatever you desire, we will do."

"Yup, you lead the way, lass!" Masamune chimed in.

"Yes, and make sure to pick out the most excellent fabrics." Nobunaga said. "I plan on commissioning a piece from you."

I couldn't help the smile that came to my face. "Really? I would be more than happy to!"

"Good." Nobunaga replied.

"And Lord Nobunaga isn't the only one. I am in need of a new hakama." Masamune said.

"I could even use a new piece as well." Mitsuhide said. "You have proven yourself quite skilled with the needle."

"Hold on we cant overwhelm Ava now." Hideyoshi spoke up. "She is about to have a baby."

"I plan to continue making clothes even after the baby arrives." I said. "But I won't take on more work than I can handle."

We all walked around together. We stopped at many different stalls, all finding something to enjoy and purchase. We stopped and took a few breaks so that I could sit and rest. After the sun had set, Masamune got a wicked grin. "Alright, time for the big surprise I brought in from Oshu." He declared.

"Should I be scared?" I asked, knowing Masamune's tendency to walk on the wild side. The man kept a real tiger for a pet. Something I had learned early on.

"Don't worry I wouldn't allow him to bring anything too dangerous into Kai." Shingen told me, giving my waist a gentle yet reassuring squeeze. "I am sure you'll enjoy this surprise."

We were all gathering in the center of the castle town once again. Shingen gestured to the sky. "Look up, my love."

It was a few moments later, that I heard the distinct whistling sound and then an explosion of bright colored light lit up the sky. More fireworks began to go off shortly afterwards. I couldn't help but to smile as I watched the fireworks going off. Everyone in the town watched in awe as well. I could hear children in the crowd squealing in delight. I looked around and I saw a few children holding onto their mothers and fathers, scared of the loud booms.

I then looked up at Shingen and he was looking fondly over the crowd. His eyes were watching the children as well. "I hope that this becomes a tradition in the festival. I can't wait to show our baby and his or her future siblings these fireworks." I said, patting my belly.

Shingen smiled at me, placing his hand over mine. "I was just thinking the same thing." We were then sharing a kiss, not caring about the crowd around us.

"Ugh, I would have thought with you guys here they would show a little more restraint." Yukimura grumbled.

"They've been a lot less handsy than usual." Asuna replied. "Besides, some people find fireworks romantic."

"What's romantic about an explosion?" Yukimura replied.

Asuna huffed. "I don't know why I bother with you."

"Fireworks are very romantic." Masamune spoke up, he was then wrapping an arm around Asuna's shoulders. "What the boy doesn't see, I certainly do. You know a rooftop has a much better view of the fireworks. Perhaps you could come with me?"

"You know, you shouldn't just go grabbing people like that. I don't care how good your food is." Yukimura said.

"You know I don't need you to tell anyone off for me, right?" Asuna replied, looking at Yukimura grumpily.

This fighting had managed to pull Shingen and I from our own little world. I was having a hard time not laughing. That really sounded like jealousy coming from Yukimura. I looked up at Shingen and saw him watching them with a fond yet amused smile.

"Oh, so you don't mind?" Masamune asked, a grin on his face.

"Oh, I mind." Asuna replied. She was then reaching up and grabbing Masamune's arm and twisting it behind his back. "Don't touch me again. Or you'll find this arm useless for a long time." She was then shoving him away.

Masamune's grin was even wider. "Oh, yeah I knew you'd be fun."

"You know she just told you to shove off right?" Yukimura replied.

"I like the chase." Masamune replied with a shrug. "I like a feisty woman."

"Ugh, you're all such men!" Asuna said. "Ava, how you put up with them all and don't have a constant headache, I will never understand."

"It eventually becomes just a dull ache." I replied with a giggle.

After the fireworks ended, we all headed back to the castle. Though we had taken many breaks, my feet and legs were aching. After changing for bed, I sat on the futon, stretching my legs out in front of me and looking down. They did appear to be slightly swollen.

Shingen was coming to sit down by my feet, picking them up lightly and setting them in his lap. "What..." I asked, but then stopped when he picked up a jar that held some kind of salve.

He smiled at me. "I am just taking care of my dear princess." He answered, opening the jar and slicking his fingers through the white cream. He was then gently massaging my feet and legs, rubbing the salve in.

"Hmmm...that feels....heavenly." I said. "You...don't have to do this you know...not that I'm complaining."

Shingen chuckled. "Ava, you have been working very hard...not to mention you are carrying our child. The least I can do is take care of you and do my best to make you comfortable."

"Shingen..." I said on the verge of tears at how sweet he was being.

Once he had finished with my feet and my legs, Shingen was moving behind me. He was then massaging my neck and lower back. "How does that feel?"

"Mmm...amazing." I answered him. "You're spoiling me so much tonight."

"I told you, I just want to take care of my goddess." He explained, though I could hear the heat in his voice.

"Well...your goddess truly appreciates it...is there anything else you have in mind?" I asked.

It was then that I felt Shingen's smile on my beck and his arms wrap around me. "I know what I have in mind...is there something you would like? Another offering I could place upon your alter?" He was then trailing kisses up the side of my neck.

I hummed in pleasure. "I think...you know."

Shingen was pulling me close, showering kisses over my neck, my cheeks, my forehead, before finally placing a passionate kiss on my lips. That kiss was only the opening act of the night...a very pleasurable night.

See what happens next below!

https://writingwhimsey.tumblr.com/post/659358945798914048/the-tiger-and-the-oda-princess-ch-14

[choiceenvironment]

Shorty’s Fight

Shorty is so deserving of the proper surgery to save her leg.  I feel horrible that I can not afford to provide her with it. With so many people struggling, I hate to ask for this kind of financial help, but I have no choice.  I have to try for her sake. Our local small town community has already sponsored the costs to saving her, with help from the wonderful (Strathmore Veterinarian).  The donations gave the vet enough to amputate her tail and cast her arm from a broken Radial bone. Including an anonymous donor that paid her intake. I believe it is because the town knows her, she has gone into stores, got the mail with me and all my clients love her. Since then (2 weeks ago) something has gone wrong and the Ulnar bone which had a hairline fracture has now broken fully, the only option now is amputate her front left arm for $2000 or Surgery for $4500 to save the arm. She is in a lot of pain, this breaks my heart for her and she does not deserve to suffer. I have been told by some that she is just a cat, That I should just do what ever is cheapest and/or put her down. But she is not just a regular cat, her personality captures anyone who meets her but not in the cuddly way most would think. This is my story of the most unique cat I have ever known. "Sam Shorty" 2 years ago I was looking for a small companion cat that I could bring to work at my newly opened print shop. I thought it would be great to keep the mice away, I was lonely as I worked alone and I had some struggles coping with stress. My store was opened in 2017, Since then my entire store was flooded and I lost all my inventory with no help from insurance because it was "overland flooding" - Jerks! They didn't help at all.  But my community did! Since then I lost my father, 2 brothers and covid took away my events which used to pay for my store rent.  I hosted, cooking and paint classes for kids when they were off school.  I also trained people who struggle to learn computer skills and building their own resume. I honestly needed to find a daily companion and furry friend.  My first thought was to catch or coax one of the Ferrell cats around town because I would be "giving them a better life".  So I thought. ha ha ha But the stray cats around town are pretty happy just eating the field mice and being wild and free.  No worries, just play, eat and sleep, I am almost jealous except in winter time. ha ha ha So after weeks of desperately trying to make friends with the Ferrell's I gave up and realized that all I was doing was creating Night Fights from all the food I kept leaving out. The neighbors must have loved that. ha ha ha They did keep all the outside mice away, but funny...I seemed to end up with more mice inside the store. ha ha ha Moving forward I checked online for any cats needing a home and oddly at that time frame there was none?  People even tried catching their own farm Ferrell's to no avail.  Well I was determined so I planned to go on the weekend to buy one SOMEWHERE lol, didn't know where but I was determined. Saturday morning we planned for a Sunday trip to the city.  But I was feeling really down so I prayed.  I honestly prayed to God and asked for help in sending me a cat that needs the most help. See, Although I want a companion for my sake I also want to return the favor to my friend, I want to be doing something good. 2 hours later I was cleaning up some things in the shed and my husband says "I think there is something behind the quad" Sure as shit there was a kitten!  So we ran and told my daughter to grab a can of tuna and after a few attempts I was able to quickly grab her scruff and pull her into my scarf. She fought hard but only for a few seconds, then she tucked her head into my hair and didn't move. I walked around with her for a bit and she seemed to like it.  Eventually I set her on my bed and she just stared at all of us like she was in shock.  Pretty sure she was freaking out. ha ha ha Her eyes were full of gunk, she was so badly filled with worms and she pooped all over my bedroom, my bed, but I could care less. Funny story - she even gave me worms which is very rare! The first night she was so afraid that she would only lay on the window sill.  Shorty was so stunted and small that we called her shorty.  Also because her tail was the smallest tail we had ever seen. While she was going from the window to the liter box and back up to the window sill, her litter was getting stuck to her feet and a small amount kept dropping into my bedside drinking glass. Lets not get into details, but I drank a lot of water that night. ha ha ha - I still laugh at this cause she was worth it. It took a long time to get her back to health, we thought she was dead a few times when she would not move for hours. We eventually got her fixed and with consistent food she began to grow :) and although small she is one tough kitty. I had her on a leash when we would go for walks, camping or to work.  But eventually I just felt like she missed the wild. When we were camping it poured rain one year so bad, but she did not want to leave the brush beside the fire and I realized she was hunting mice! She would be soaking wet and I would try to take her inside with me but she would get so mad, growl and kick her back paws on me.  So in return for her friendship I sat in the rain with her for hours so she could listen to the wilderness and hunt mice.  She even caught one that year but her excitement caused her to lose it and it ran away. She would stand on her back feet and sway her head like a crazy person filled with glee, she looked like a playful bear. Shorty would finally want to go to bed around 11 pm, but at the crack of dawn she would be sitting on her leash staring at me and using her "mind powers" to wake me up.  She is very polite and tries not to disturb me while I sleep.  So sweet. I decided that if I truly love her I would have to let her have her own freedom and if she loved me too, she would return home. At first when I took her off her leash, Shorty would stay with me as I gardened or worked in the yard.  But eventually she left the yard for a day and night. But she returned and before the incident she would come and go on the hour. Shorty could be dead asleep on the piano ( her favorite spot) and she would know if another cat stepped on her property.   So would we, because all of a sudden she would run upstairs to the bedroom windows, then down to the basement windows. Sometimes she would "Scobie Doo"  around the corners then race to be let out the back door. All the neighborhood cats are free out here and go as they please.  They are also bigger than her! But she puff's up, spits and kicks her back feet like she is the toughest little girl in the world. Climbing is her favorite and she always has to show me.  She will run up the tree and if I am not watching her Shorty meows at me and scratches harder on the tree. She loves to run and show off how fast she is, her favorite game with my daughters is what we call "the chase game" That's where the kids will get a foot from her and she will run to the other side of the yard and lay down.  Then she rolls and shows her tummy, so the girls walk up to pet her and when they are a foot from her she runs back to the other side. She loves it. Shorty does not cuddle, wont let strangers touch her and only comes to me "Mom" Now the sad part -  We rescued a Pitbull and have spent month retraining her as she was abused and left to freeze in the cold.  Her name is Calypso. She cowers to many things and we thought we were getting her back to normal. Her prey drive was bad, but the cat and her were beginning to play and we began lowering our guard. I never left them in a room alone together, I still always supervised just encase. But 2 weeks ago I was in court awaiting a verdict on a local exploitation of a minor case.  The judge called guilty, we cried with relief and became overwhelmed as it had been a year long uncertain battle.  By the system prevailed! AS we celebrated on the way home I got a call from my daughter, the dog had got upstairs and the cat was bleeding. I tried to keep my daughter calm and a Neighbour ran to my house to see how bad it was. When I got there, the floor had a trail of blood and a pool of blood behind the couch. But it is not the dogs fault, she is a sweet sweet dog that just wants to be loved.  The dog took to me the moment we met and her jealousy took her over along with her natural instinct. Just as the cat needs to hunt mice, the dog wants to hunt too.  It part of them and I hold no fault to either of them. We called the nearest vet who responded with "we are booked unless you want to just bring her in and put her down?" Yah we hung up on them. Then we called Strathmore Vet and while bawling I explained that I had absolutely no money, I had no idea how to get any money but I would do anything to save her. The vet worked tirelessly through the night and all the next day.  Shorty had her tail amputated, and a second time from the damage.   Luckily she had enough blood to rebuild and just a fractured radial bone.  They tried there best to cast the arm but gave me a 50/50 chance of keeping it. The last two weeks of healing, Shorty has been such a trooper.  We have been trapped in my room since but I think she knows its only so she can heal.  I have not gone to work or left her side. I thought she was getting depressed the last few days but yesterday we found out its pain, from the second bone finally giving out. Shorty deserves to keep her leg and she deserves proper care.  The feeling of not being able to provide this to her is horrible. I cant even afford the amputation. With amputation I wonder if I will ever let her back outside? There is 2 jerks on our street that always speed and with her only having 3 legs I would be too worried that someone would run her over. Most people in our town will actually stop and let a cat cross the road, we are always watching for children and the speed is basically 30 klm/hr over the entire hamlet or Carseland. This is my last resort. I have tried to phone Pet Card to get approve for a pet loan but I don't make enough.  I actually don't make anything since covid and have been operating my print shop at a loss for 6 months. My customers have been hit hard, they don't have the money to pay anymore.  Its not their fault and I have stayed close with all my clients because I truly understand what they are going through. I tried selling all my game consoles i have collected since I was 12, that didn't pan out. The stress of everything gave me shingles, so I have 4 bags of bottles to take in and I am now better so I can actually take them in, but that's not going to help her today. So I am here asking for help because Shorty deserves better and I am okay with putting myself out there for her. She really deserves a chance to keep her freedom and live the happy life she had before. Thank you so much for reading, sharing or considering helping my little girl. My love to you all Jennifer

[dogscatsandnaps]

Its vet tech week and we're off to a great start!!

First, there was a lady that legit wore a lace a mask. Like... gaping holes mesh lace. That she made herself......

There was a client that called an hour after she left here, in hysterics, being like "I'm in tears!".... bc we gave her a rabies tag. Which is required by law when we give the rabies vaccine. Which she approved of when the vet tech talked to her bc the vaccine was due. She threw a fit bc she went thru a lot!!! Getting this rescue dog! From europe (were in the us btw)!! And getting its tag from her county this summer!!

And idk where this was coming from but that was fun.

Then, there was a lady who called to pay for a training class she signed up for. I told her sure, please hold. And transferred her to the csr. And then apparently she gave the csr attitude bc "it wouldve been nice if that girl told me she was transfering me ugh!!!"

Like.... what???

And then!!

There was a lady that called that wanted to establish herself as a new client. And she was on our website bc she was told to fill out paper work, but there wasn't anything there. I tell her were not accepting new clients at this time, and it's a recent decision made with the past week or so. Well!! What is she supposed to do now?? She spent 10 whole minutes on the phone 2 weeks ago!! Talking about her new puppy coming here!! And really, word to the wise!! we should ensure all staff knows this so were not misleading!!

LMAO.

AND THEN!!

Oooh boy, is this a doozy....

From Saturday, there was a foster that had called to get a refill for her foster dog's seziure meds...

Now, the key thing to know here is that this dog has hydrocephalus, was diagnosed when he was little. He has a neurologist at an university hospital that he sees for this condition. Every medication related to his condition is prescribed by this doctor.

Anyway, the foster calls for med refill. The csr tells her that we cant do that, we dont know what new dosage he would get. This is usually done by his neurologist. The foster insists that the neurologist wants our doc to do the dog's meds.

Bc the meds for his epilepsy... has nothing to do... with his brain... ?????? Uhh.

My coworker takes the phone from there bc at this point the foster is berating the csr, right. Well, this coworker happens to have been the tech that was in the room when the dog came in the other day for bloodwork. She was in the room when the doc told the foster the blood results will be sent to the neurologist, in time for the dog's appt over there. The tech tells the foster that only the neurologist prescribes brain meds for this dog.

And the foster! Insists that epilepsy has nothing to do with this dog's half watered brain!

This goes in circles for awhile until the tech basically puts her foot down and hangs up.... and the foster continues to call and harass us all of Saturday. Our csr cant get in a word with this lady going Full Karen.

To the point where we call the neurologist's office, right. The staff informs us that the doc is out on vacation. And that the foster had missed the scheduled appt a few days ago.... And that the foster had insisted to them that our doc was taking over for this dog's condition.... away from... the neurologist...

Stories are getting crossed here, lies are being revealed, and it's a busy Saturday, and this foster is being beyond difficult. It got to the point where she threatened to get our doc's license revoked when she reports us to... the manager... of vets??

Needless to say, our doc was Done. And fired her. And told the rescue board leaders that they better clear this shit up with the foster.

So. Come this Monday morning. We find out that this absolute Karen of a foster had been calling and texting and harassing the board members thru the weekend. And idk what they got, but, we got a call from the neurologist office and apparently they got in contact with their doc, who is on vaca, and apparently meds had already been filled and the doctor had left a voicemail for the owner a few days earlier...before this whole thing happened....

Like... at this point it's so ridiculous, and convoluted and strange and stupid... like, why??? Anyway. That lady is never allowed to contact us ever again.

And that has been our Monday thus far. Happy vet tech week.

[kuroosdumbslut]

Hi! 🌸 could you write about the matsuno brothers having kids? like coming home from the hospital? Seeing their baby first? Their s/o just being calm through the whole process. they asking their wife how does she do that so effortlessly?? I would love to see their POV when they find out they are going to be fathers so much! Thank you!!! 🌺 I know it’s something really fluffy but I just love them so much 🌸 thank you once again!!!

*since you asked for all matsus, im gonna do hcs, i hope thats ok!!*

❤oso❤

-he was at work when he got the call

- "hey baby, i hope your work is doing good, but i just went into labor so if you can, please make it to the hospital"

-oso has never been so frantic, he got to the hospital in under 10 minutes

-when he got there, you were still pushing, so he jumped in as soon as he could and held your hand

-you were in labor for 2 hours before your son was welcomed to the world

-he had a good hair of dark brown hair and your eyes

-osomatsu cried like a baby (omg) and was so proud and happy

-(hes a good father, he just needs a little help sometimes)

💙kara💙

-the most emotional out of the boys

-you went into labor around 6pm, just before kara started dinner

-you had waddled into the kitchen to tell him lol

- "Sweetheart, dont start dinner yet, we need to get to the hospital. Yeah, my water just broke, it's go time :)"

-kara never knew how you could stay so calm, but he tried to follow suit (and failed but thats neither here nor there)

-since you were so close to due date, you both had decided to pack your overnight bags and all beforehand, so all you had to do was get in the car and go

-you had identical twin girls, your labor only lasting about 30 minutes

-kara laid on the hospital bed with you, holding one of the twins while you held the other

-both of you were teary, but kara was full on sobbing (as quietly as he could)

💚choro💚

-it was 3am when you went into labor

- "Choromatsu, baby, call the midwife. My water broke."

-he was awake and fully alert in 10 seconds flat

-you both had decided on a home birth, so while you were doing breathing exercises on the bed, choro was up, dressed, and on the phone woth the midwife

-tho a lot of people expect choro to be the calmest, hes extremely stressed

-the midwife got to your house fairly quickly and had the birthing tub set up in no time

- you had the longest labor ever omg, it was 9 hours before your son was born

- your son weighed a staggering 9 1/2 pounds and was a very big baby

- you did have to go to the hospital a little after he was born, however, because you were having trouble delivering your placenta

-choro was extremely stressed after, but tried to keep calm for your son

-when you did finally get to come home, you greeted your husband and newborn son with a warm smile and a few little tears

💜Ichi💜

-it was 4pm when you went into labor

-ichimatsu had just gotten off from the vet's office when he saw you packing the car up

- "love...?" you turned to him with a tilted grin and replied, "Water broke, time to have our babies."

-ichimatsu thought he was gonna pass out, but kept it together to drive the both of you to the hospital

-since you were having triplets, you were rushed to c-section to have your children

-ichimatsu was there the entire time, holding your hand and waiting with you until all 3 babies were delivered

-you had two girls and a boy, the girls were a healthy weight and size, but your son was a little underweight and was having trouble breathing

-he was put in an incubator after being checked over, but overall it was pretty easy

-you were holding the girls while ichi went over to your son, sticking his hand inside and gently holding his hand

- "hey little guy, rough time with your sisters?"

-ichi will be very protective of his children, especially his son

💛Jyushi💛

-he had gotten home from baseball practice, you were relaxed with him for not even ten minutes

- "Sweetpea, my water broke. We're having the baby now."

-Jyushi was the calmest of the bots, surprisingly

-he informed the midwife that you went into labor and got the bed all ready for you so you could lay down

-when the midwife came, it was a blur of pushing, jyushimatsu encourging you and peppering kisses all over your hand, and 20 minutes later, your little daughter was born

-she was so small, only 6 pounds and 9 ounces

-she was healthy, though, just a small baby

-everything went so smoothly, and with no problems, you were shocked

-jyushi still had his signature smile on, but happy tears were streaming down his cheeks as he held his daughter close

- "I know you're just a little baby, but you can be whatever you want, and I cant wait to see what you become one day"

💗Todo💗

-it was a lazy saturday when you went into labor

-you were cooking up some lunch when your water broke

-its funny though cause you were wearing a skirt, so when your water broke, it sounded like you spilt water on the floor

- "Honey? Are you ok in there?" Todomatsu walked in, expecting to see an overturned glass or something, only for to see a pinkish puddle on the ground

- "It's go time babe, get the bag and lets have this baby"

-todomatsu was so excited, but nervous, so once you were checked intk the hospital and everything, he called EVERYONE

-his mother, his father, your mother and/or father, his brothers, everyone

- an hour later, your baby was born

-they were born intersex, but you both agreed on keeping both genitalia so your baby could choose whatever gender they'd like or keep both if they wanted

-you were both so excited, tears in everyones eyes as you held your baby close

-later on in life, your child decided to keep both and be a non-gender conforming person and tot was super helpful in helping them pick out androgynous clothing :)

**ok im so sorry but i had to add in different way of birthing, different numbers of kids, and different genders (i like to try and represent other people, genders, sexualities, etc here) if anything is incorrect, let me know and i can make the correct changes :)**

[eylicious]

The last Book on the Shelf

Word count: 1662

Genre: Fluff, slight angst

Warning: Social Anxiety, Lesbian Story, Grammar Mistakes

Pairing: Yeji x Female Reader

Summary: “Hey, ermm I'm sorry but we can read this book together if you want” muttered a  girl. Her voice was so soft and quiet that Yeji didn’t hear her at first. She doesn’t saw the girl walked to her because she was caught up on her own sadness.“Erm are you sure?” said Yeji back. She doesn’t realize that the girl in front of her are so beautiful and stunning. Why didn’t I realized it earlier? Muttered Yeji.

This story had been published on my ao3

She glared at her phone’s time. 11:24 pm she read. She has been there with her friends from 9.22 pm

“Girls, I need to get going” stated her.

She climbed down from her car’s roof and packed her things. Yeji and her friends were stargazing. This is their friend group tradition where they will drove to the open field when the sky is filled with stars in their town. They will bring food, blanket and other necessary things to make things more interesting. Once, they set up a campfire but they got complained from the neighbor the next morning so they decide that stargazing and talking to each other until sleep is enough. They usually will drove back home when the sun is up. But now, Yeji will leave first.

This happens when Yeji no longer single. Yeji has found her love 10 months ago when she went to the bookstore with Lia to buy the next trilogy of A.R. Torre books. She already bought and read the first two books of the series and she needs to know what happens after Deanna when to prison. So while she went to the mystery/thriller section while Lia went to get her romance novels, she found that one girl was holding the book that she wanted so she figured the books must be on the shelf in front of the girls but without she knows, the last book was been held by the girl. When she didn’t find the book on the shelf, she asked the girl either she see other books like the one she holds but the girls mentioned that she found only one book of the last trilogy of A.R. Torre on the shelf.

Yeji, who doesn’t want to miss her chance, she went to search for the worker and asked for the particular book. After waiting for 15minutes, her excitements went down the drain went the worker said that they no longer have new stock for the books.

The girl, who took the last book saw Yeji’s sad face and come to here.

“Hey, ermm I'm sorry but we can read this book together if you want” muttered the girl

Her voice was so soft and quiet that Yeji didn’t hear her at first. She doesn’t saw the girl walked to her because she was caught up on her own sadness.

“Erm are you sure?” said Yeji back. She doesn’t realize that the girl in front of her is so beautiful and stunning. Why didn’t I realized it earlier? Muttered Yeji.

“Yes, of course, you can read this book first because I didn’t finish the 2nd book yet.” explained the girl. “Oh my god. You such a lifesaver. I don’t think I have time to wait for other stock to arrive or buy it online. I don’t like to not see the quality of the book first before buying” beamed Yeji. Who knows her knight in shining armor save her in this kind of situation and also a girl.

After the girl paid (the girl insist since she the one who will keep the book), they exchange their phone number and location so that Yeji can bring the books to her house after finish reading it.

“Oh, we talked for a while but I still didn’t know your name”

“Ah, I'm y/n.”

“I’m Yeji”

And since then, their friendship becomes more then they think.

Back to the present. Yeji waved goodbye to her friends and drove to y/n’s house. y/n’s house is 10 minutes from the fields and 30 minutes from Yeji’s small apartment. Not that Yeji can’t afford a big house but she liked to live in a small house.

After parked beside Y/N’s car, she opened the back-car door to get things, closed it, locked her car, and walked to Y/N door. Even Y/N had given Yeji her house key, Yeji still knocks on the door and wait for Y/N to open it.

“Why don’t you just use the key that I gave you?” Y/N opened the door then ushered for Yeji to come in. She locked the door while Yeji put the things on the coffee table.

“Good to see you too hun” Yeji kissed the pout from Y/N face. “I brought the snack for tonight”

“I'm sorry I have to take you away from your friends” mumbled Y/N but Yeji still caught it. They have been over the situation many times before.

Yeji pecked her lips and said “As I already mention a lot of time to you before, you don’t take me away from my friends. I want to be with you because I want. Besides, tonight they talked about the new guy in our school so I have reason to go.”

“I know but I still feel bad. Should I be happy you ditch your friends because of a guy?” joked Y/N.

Yeji smirked and rolled her eyes. “What are you doing before I come?” asked Yeji.

“do my assignment and feed the devil. Speak of the devil. Where’s he?” Y/N looked around her living room.

Y/N has a cat that she took from the alley. The cat was 5months at that time and lost her mother. She took the cat home and feed the cat. The next day she went to the vet to get a check-up of the cat. Since then, Y/N has been taking care of the cat a.k.a Mowo a.k.a devil.

“I didn’t hear him but whatever. Do you forget what we should do tonight?” Yeji back hug Y/N and walked her to sit on the sofa. Tonight, they agree to watch the new thriller movie that been adapted by A.R. Torres's book. They have agreed that A.R. Torres is their couple addiction since A.R. Torres is the one who brought them together. Yeji already bought all the snacks that both of them like.

“Of course, I won’t forget. But, I need to get the popcorn. Can you set up the movie? I already put the movie on the list.” Y/N get up and went to the kitchen. Yeji grabs the remote and searches for the movie, after set up, she arranged the snack on the coffee table while waiting for Y/N.

After Y/N come back from the kitchen and brought not only one but 3 because one bowl never enough ( said Yeji one-timed on their first movie tonight together). Y/N cuddle Yeji because Yeji likes to be a small spoon and Yeji started the movie. Their movie was interrupted with a quick kiss every 10 minutes because both of them are can get hands off each other.

After the movie end, they continue to cuddle on the sofa with small talk while finished their snack. Yeji already finished two bowls of popcorn and still has room left for other snacks.

“I wish you could hang out with my friends one day,” Yeji said while eating the m&m.

“You know I want to but you know I can’t” responded Y/N.

Y/N has social anxiety. Her anxiety is at worst. She scared to talk to a stranger and she also scared to leave her house. She does not like to deal with people. She may have an anthrophobia ( fear of people) also but she got no problem when socializing with people she knew.

At the time when she meets Yeji, she was not alone. She was with her psychology doctor, Aien. They have been best friend since Y/N have been diagnosed with anxiety and Aien took care of here. At that time, Y/N really want to read the last series of A.R. Torre books. Aien bought her the books as a gift and Y/N cant stopped reading the stories. So when she pleaded to Aien to buy her the last books, Aien asked Y/N to follow her to the bookstore. Of course, Y/N said no but after Aien reassured her that they will go at the time when there were not many people and Y/N don’t have to speak to anyone, Y/N agrees to go. Y/N was in her own world when she found the book that she wants so she doesn’t realize that Aien was talking to the phone and a girl is approaching her. But here they are now, 6 months dating and going steadily.

Yeji had introduced her friends to Y/N. Y/N met Lia once at the bookstore but they didn’t talked just exchange some smile. Y/N never met Yeji's other friends but Yeji shows their photo to her and mention who is who. Y/N knows that Yeji’s friend is very adorable and lovely.

“Maybe, we can do some hangout at my house?” questioned Y/N while playing with Yeji’s hair.

Yeji looked up at Y/N with a worried face.” Are you sure you want that?”

Y/N rolled her eyes “Of course I want to. They are your friends and I want to meet them sometimes. Plus, they will do me no harm. Right?”

“Of course they won’t. If they did something to you, I'm gonna smacked their ass down” grinned Yeji

“tch. You set the day went and you can tell your friends.” Y/N get up from the couch and start cleaning up. Yeji followed suit.

After cleaning up, the time showed 0347am when they went to bed. Yeji brings extra pajama because she wants to sleep comfortably. The cuddle up under the blanket.

“You know, I'm glad that the book is the last stock they have”

“Yeah, I'm even surprised with myself when I talked to you that day”

“Fate really bring us together”

“Sleep Yeji, we don’t have time to be sappy”

“I Love you too”

The stars shine brightly on the sky that night.

[merlinistheredheadedstepchild]

3 Ice Pick - June 11, 2012

Allison’s gas station outfit is adorable 

How does everyone on this show have magical fuse box powers? If they need all the lights to be out it just happens 

And then Allison gets kidnapped And Chris is there also tied up Being taunted by a disembodied voice in the hale house where her aunt was killed

“What would you do if someone you loved got bitten?”

Hey motorcycle guy

“Do you know why we use arrows?” “Cause they can’t heal until they take it out”

He knows she helped Isaac and he tells her it wasn’t Gerard’s call It was Victoria’s Because they train their sons to be warriors and their daughters to be leaders The women make the hard calls, the final calls And then he gives her an arrow and kisses her on her head and leaves her tied up Cause her training begins now 

Motorcycle guy congratulates her on only taking two and a half hours It took him three And then he gets killed by snakey Because we can’t have nice things Those are some aggressive claws 

Oh the rock climbing Allison is holding back to be nice But Scott’s a wolf And then he falls off the wall I thought coach taught econ Whys he teaching gym?

Stiles has the stud muffin shirt

Erica freaks out halfway up the wall

Lydia is done hiding her brains

Allison points out that Erica’s epileptic So she should not be up there She comes back after class to try again 

The police are searching for Isaac And because Scott and Stiles don’t understand how to have a private conversation in public now Jackson knows 

Is she free climbing the wall?

Stiles changes behind a door Scott is trying to cancel the double date And then he feels the tremors and knows something’s wrong and catches Erica before she can hit the floor from twenty feet up 

It’s Beacon Hills Memorial Hospital now And Melissa’s still the only nurse who works there It’s been a while since Erica had to come in

And there’s Derek Kidnapping a semiconscious fifteen year old girl 

Derek’s wearing an a tank and a nice sweater Cause he’s an adult goddamnit 

He reads the side effects on her medicine That eeuh is precious 

“Who are you?” “Lets just say we have a mutual friend.”

Is it Isaac or Scott? 

Stop touching her! Do not grab her like that She is a child Don’t seduce the child This is the worst thing you’ve ever done Derek This girl thinks you’re hot and you are using that to pressure her I get that you’re scared but I don’t like it 

Jackson is in Matt and Lydia’s biology class There’s a video playing about vaccination Jackson (again showing how smart he is) jumps to the conclusion that Lydia immunized him to the bite He’s not too far off 

Lydia is reasonably freaked out by his raving But his claw marks are gone And he seems to feel bad for yelling at her 

And now she’s having a breakdown in the bathroom And there are naked feet she can see under the door And she follows them out in the hall And it’s fucking Peter It’s his basketball trophy I forgot about this 

Hey Boyd Stiles is getting the keys to the ice rink from Boyd and is paying him $50 for it Oh Boyd. That grin is everything 

And enter Erica You’re a little obvious dear Walking in a stealing an apple They know what’s up And they see her getting into Derek’s car Where they both just grin 

Oh yeah Deaton knows Ask him for help Scotty I know he’s a very vague dude But the universe just changing shape thing is kinda a nice concept How have you guys not talked about the werewolves? To change the subject Deaton offers him a raise of $2.50

The Argent’s want Allison to keep an eye on Lydia to make sure everything’s okay with her Allison you are wearing gloves in your bedroom how are you convincing anyone that you’re staying in Her braid is cute though 

Lydia mentions being cold at the rink and Stiles offers her a shirt And she wont take it cause orange and blue don’t go together “It’s the colors of the Mets” 

Stiles tries to talk about their relationship but Lydia thinks he’s talking about Scott and Allison 

A v neck over a long sleeved shirt Really Scott? 

Scott cant even get on the ice

Lydia is amazing Doing spins and stuff But she’s willing to skate with Stiles  And then she hallucinates a blue petal Wolfs bane 

The photo booth Allison feels bad for saying the closed eye photo is normal I like her 

Lydia is now hardcore hallucinating wolfsbane growing out of the ice and Peter trapped ender it We get her second scream 

Scott confronts Erica about who’s next How does he know Derek needs three? Peter only wanted him and sometimes Derek 

She tells him about the seizure she had in class that got posted online She is really playing up the seducing 

There’s a geometry text book in Allison’s room with the because I love you note in it So Victoria slices her arm open to have a reason to go to the only nurse in beacon hills Victoria was a teacher at an all boys boarding school And she declines anesthetic Cause what the actual fuck? She doesn’t even flinch Just chit chats while getting stitches 

Allison isn’t jealous of Erica she’s worried Scott is gonna get caught in the middle of the war

“I don’t want you to be normal I want you to be alive.” 

Boyd always sits alone at an empty table Stiles notices first They’re worried about him But Stiles is actually kinda for Boyd getting the bite Erica looks better But Scott is more concerned with keeping everyone uninjured and alive I think he worries Derek can’t control them And he doesn’t even know about Jackson It’s a lot Four people in a month 

“This new found heroism is making me very attracted to you.” “Shut up.” “Do you wanna start making out for a second. Just to see how it feels.” 

Jackson goes to the Hale House to get answers But there’s hunter’s inside And a corpse on the table Poor motorcycle guy Chris thinks Jackson is still trying to convince Derek to bite him He tells Jackson he doesn’t want to have to hunt him 

How does Stiles know where Boyd lives?

Hello Erica You’re actually being a cute kind of flirty

“I have beautiful everything.” Did you just hit him in the head with his carburetor? 

Oh look A corpse in the clinic Cause Chris know that Deaton is more than a vet 

Scott finds Boyd at the ice rink He wants to make sure Boyd knows everything Boyd just wants friends Derek is getting his Peter on right now 

Boyd clearly thinks they are all dorks He looks so uncomfortable while everyone fights 

It’s not a bad looking fight Kick the crap out of the abused kid 

Scott really thinks that Derek is doing it all for the power That he doesn’t care Couldn’t they have redone his makeup for this season? You don’t have to look so pleased while you fuck Scott up 

Boyd was bit on the same place as Scott and Jackson He shows Scott and tells him that he wants to be like him not Derek and the others 

Stiles wakes up in a dumpster 

When Scott’s wound wont heal Deaton tells him it’s cause it’s from an alpha And there’s a corpse in his exam room He’s willing to have the talk 

Jackson’s angry and trying to get lacrosse balls through a hoop This is clearly an anger management technique for him 

Why does he have truck? And why is parked on the lacrosse field? And why can he pick it up Maybe now he’ll calm the fuck down

Cliff hanger the third

end episode three

[the-shadow-of-atlantis]

Losing A Friend

Summary: Part of the Throughout the Years series. Annabella experiences loss and Burce is unsure how to handle it.

Tagging: @lizartgurl (Still going to tag you while you’re gone) @thespacebuns @melyaliz @coffee-randomness @speedypan @gobydana

A/N So I know for a fact I posted this not too long ago because @thespacebuns reblogged with her amazing tag comments but as I’m working on updating my master list I cant find this one so I dont know if i accidentally elected it or if tumblr did

Warnings: Pet death(Honestly it was so hard to write this)

Read Earlier Parts Here

Ever since that old black cat had come into Annabella’s life Bruce knew there was something special about it. Annabella couldn’t go anywhere without the cat following her. The cat had been dubbed Mr. Kitty and he was her protector. Sure lots of people tended to give Annabella and Mr. Kitty a side eye but Bruce didn’t really mind he knew the cat made her happy and that’s what mattered the most, though he could never help but wonder where did he come from.

“Are you sure you didn’t send him?” Bruce asked as he watched Annabella play in the garden with Mr. Kitty.

“Should I be offended that you think I’d spy on my granddaughter with a cat?” Teresa said over the phone.

“So your not spying on her?” Bruce asked.

“Not with a cat.”

Bruce sighed as he watched Annabella collect some flowers. “Do you think the god has anything to do with this?”

“To be honest I am not sure. It could be. Though she’s too young to be tested already.”

Bruce simply hummed a response.

“Speaking of being watched over… have you found anything recent?”

“No, and I’ve given the case over to someone else. Someone who can be a bit more thorough than me. But for someone who doesn’t have magic anymore she’s good at keeping hidden.”

“You sure know how to pick them Mr. Wayne.”

“If I recall she’s the one who came after me.” Bruce mumbled.

“Well looks like everything will be on schedule then. I can’t wait to see her. The pictures you’ve sent are adorable but still I want to hold my granddaughter.”

“You will, just one more year.” Bruce said then noticed Annabella was walking back. “I have to go We’ll talk later.”

“Goodbye Mr. Wayne and give my granddaughter a kiss for me.”

“Will do.” Bruce replies and hung up tucking the phone away in my back pant pocket.

Annabella came walking up to him a small bunch of flowers in her hands, Mr.Kitty trotted next to her holding a rather large bug in its mouth.

“Hi papa.” Annabella smiled holding the flowers up to him. “For you.”

Bruce smiled as he leaned down taking the flowers. Mr. Kitty dropped the bug by Bruce’s feet and meowed happily. Bruce was used to these cat gifts, he use to get dead rats and one squirrel but after Annabella got upset at seeing them the began hunting the bugs instead. Though Bruce still found a dead rat in his study from time to time.

“Thank you sunshine, and thank you Mr. Kitty.” Bruce kissed Annabella’s head then scratched the cats head.

“Mr. Kitty wants a nap.” Annabella said rubbing her own eyes.

“Then let’s set you both down for a nap.” Bruce said picking Annabella up and taking her to her room.

Annabella took Mr. Kittys health very seriously so Bruce did too. So when Annabella came to him one morning worried about him Bruce knew it was important.

“Papa.” Annabella whispered carefully shaking Bruces arm. “Papa.”

“Hmm what? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Bruce mumbled getting up quickly and inspected her.

“No.” Annabella said. “Somethings wrong with Mr. Kitty.”

“Oh? What is it?” Bruce asked rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“He’s not eating his breakfast and he looks sad.” Annabella explained.

“Okay let me see.” Bruce said picking up Annabella and getting out off bed.

Sure enough when they got to where Mr. Kitty likes to lay down he was curled up and staring at the floor as if he was too sad to move.

“Hey buddy whats wrong?” Bruce asked a scratching the cat on the head.

Mr. Kitty lifted his head and meowed softly before tucking his head into his paws. Bruce frowned and checked him for any injuries. Annabella tried to give him some food but he wouldn’t budge.

“Let’s take him to Virginia.” Bruce decided when he couldn’t spot anything wrong with him.

“Okay.” Annabella mumbled petting the cat softly.

Bruce knew it was bad when Virginia came back from checking on Mr. Kitty.

“Bruce can I speak to you.” Virginia said quietly glancing carefully at Annabella who was being distracted by Olivia.

“What is it?” Bruce asked when they stepped into her office.

Virginia sighed as she rubbed her eyes, she looked at Bruce with sympathy.

“Bruce I’m sorry, I don’t know how I didn’t catch it sooner but it appears Mr. Kitty has bone cancer.” Virginia said.

“Is it treatable?” Bruce asked, Virginia shook her head softly.

“I’m sorry but we don’t really know how old he is and how long he can fight this. I can have him start treatment. At the most I give him a year… your going to need to prepare Annabella for when the time comes.”

Bruce sighed and rubbed his face. He wasn’t sure how to break this news to her. He had hoped he wouldn’t have to tell her about things like this till she was older.

“Yeah I know. I’ll tell her.” Bruce sighed.

The months that followed were hard. Annabella was a bit confused as to why Mr. Kitty wasn’t getting better with the medicine, and Bruce had a hard time explaining what was happening. Still she seemed to take Mr. Kitties health even more seriously, making sure to give him his medicine on time and that he would eat properly.

“It’s medicine time Mr. Kitty.” Bruce heard Annabella say as he walked into her play room.

Mr. Kitty meowed in displeasure and Annabella petted his head.

“I know but it’s good for you.” Annabella reasoned Bruce kneeled down next her holding the medicine.

Annabella carefully held him as Bruce administered the medicine. Bruce gave the cat a small pat as he finished.

“How about we eat outside let Mr. Kitty get some fresh air.” Bruce suggested hoping to cheer her up.

“Okay.” Annabella nodded setting the cat down.

Bruce could tell the cat was trying to perk up for her.

When the day finally came Bruce felt as if his heart was going to break. He held Annabella as she cried her little heart out. Even Alfred was trying to hold back tears as he collected cat to safely put away. Bruce had decided to stay as Batman to protect her but how could he protect her against a broken heart?

“I don’t know what to do.” Bruce whispered as he rubbed his head, Selina set down a cup of coffee in front of him. “I thought maybe bringing her here might cheer her up a bit.”

The two adults looked into selinas living room where Annabella was checking the heartbeat of Selinas cat Isis. The other cats who were use to the little girl simply laid down around her waiting their turn to be “checked”.

“She’s been latching onto her kitty doctor dream a lot more.” Bruce said sadly smiling at the scene before him.

“She’s coping.” Selina said

“I know.” Bruce sighed. “I’m debating if I should get her another pet.”

“No, not now. It’s too soon. Wait for her to tell you. Right now just keep doing what your doing. Bring her here whenever you want so she can do checkups. Take her to her vet friend whenever you can. Keep encouraging her dream and she’ll get through this.” Selina said giving Bruce a small kiss on his cheek.

Bruce smiled softly and turned to face her. “Thank you, and on a different note I’ve been invited to a wedding and I need a plus one.”

“I thought you normally turn down these things.”

“Apparently my presence is being demanded and yes they’re even letting Annabella attend so no I can’t use her as an excuse.” Bruce said reading Selinas expression.

“Well in that case sure, whose wedding is it?” Selina asked and Bruce’s lips set into a fine lin.

“It’s for Falcone’s nephew.” He mumbled.

“I see.” Selina said smoothly her eyes fixed on Annabella again. “Tell me when and I'll meet you there.”

Bruce smiled at her and gave her a kiss.

“Have you buried him yet?” Selina suddenly asked.

“No poor thing is just frozen haven’t had the heart to bury him yet.”

“You should do something special, something to help her say goodbye properly.” Selina said.

Bruce nodded as he watched Annabella snuggle into a pile of cats.

“Okay let's dig just a little more.” Bruce urged, Annabella nodded as she dug some more dirt out of the hole with her little shovel.

“Like that?” Annabella asked when she finished.

“Perfect.” Bruce said as he grabbed the small box.

It was a simple wooden box he had made and let Annabella decorate with little drawings. Carefully he placed it in the hole and covered part of it up with dirt.

“Now we put the plant in.” Bruce said helping Annabella put the plant in place.

“Okay.” Annabella said and carefully began patting more dirt in place.

“Good. Now some water.” Bruce encouraged, Annabella grabbed her little pale and drizzled some water over the plant.

Annabella let out a small huff when she finished and wiped her face.

“We met Mr. Kitty like this.” She suddenly spoke.

“Yeah we did.” Bruce said carefully.

“He loved the garden.”

“Yeah he did.”

“I miss him.” Annabella mumbled.

“I know you do sunshine. I miss him too.” Bruce said wrapping an arm around his daughter.

“I love you papa.” Annabella said burying her face against him.

“I love you too sunshine.”

Annabella looked back at the plant. “Goodnight Mr. Kitty”

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[orriculum]

i dont mean to keep on rambling about my feelings and my cats man but i can’t do it on facebook and its not something i can bother people with. 

i really miss darcy. i should have done better by him. i cant think of him without thinking of those last few moments when the vet fucked up the order of the syringes when we finally put him so sleep and he lunged off the table, seeming suddenly so alive and crying and then crumpling and telling him how sorry i was and wishing i had put it off even a couple more days. he deserved so much better. i wish i hadnt been so stupid to think that getting it over with after months of watching him wither away would make it any easier. 

when darcy was gone, he took all the love in the world with him. i didnt feel like i could ever love anything else after him.

when we got kitten lydia she was just so small and it didnt feel like i could hold her without worrying she’d fall through the hole darcy left in my chest. but she didn’t, she made things feel better for a while, until a couple months in her legs gave out and she couldnt climb or walk anywhere, and she was just so tired all the time. and when that same awful vet misdiagnosed her and it seemed like there was just nothing we could do.

and she does so much of what darcy used to do. especially when she tucks herself under my chin to sleep almost every night the way he did. somehow its not forgiveness and its not haunting. 

it really felt like it was going to be everything we had with darcy all over again. the way we had to sneak medication into his food, or pair it with something tasty to get him to take it. but she likes cream cheese over butter it seems. even after the correct diagnosis, the surgery, she was so small and skinny and fragile it seemed so much like how darcy was from the cancer, how carefully he had to be touched. i can’t stop fussing over her and checking for any broken bones or ripped stitches. if i try to ignore even one meow from her the guilt from avoiding darcy his last week here makes me fuss over her even more.

but im really glad she’s starting to be healthy. i didnt know if i could deal with her being suddenly sick the rest of her life after how things were with darcy, but i certainly couldnt have dealt with another death. it was just so unthinkable when the vet said most ppl put cats with her condition down instead of opting for surgery.

anyway facebook is fucking awful for that stupid “memories” function posting old videos of darcy for me to see when i havent even been able to look at the pictures i have of him in my phone since it happened without crying