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vtforpedro · 3 years

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medical/life stuff - TWs in tags

hnnnnn this is long sorry I've got a lot of stuff going on and none of it is good lol beyond getting my third covid dose and flu vaccine, I guess. did those three days ago and only had mild fatigue and arm soreness this go around worried about actually getting covid from the pharmacy tho cause they didn't require masks and it was really busy hahahaha and so many people were coughing and sneezing and no one was social distancing hahahaha I am always scared of going anywhere, even to see my PCP, because of covid. it's my life now and has been since covid got to the US. I've only been this scared after going to the ER, truly hope I don't get sick. but looking forward to another year of fear either way anyway. have some abdominal stuff going on and there could be benign reasons but it hurts a lot. luckily I finally have my appt with an actual GI in two days. he's the same doc who did my colonoscopy/endoscopy. sooo we know I'm good from that procedure but when he presses on my guts and I react in Pain™ I'm a little afraid of what he might suggest lol 😩 also have some lady stuff going on that started a couple of weeks ago. I actually had an appt with an OBGYN scheduled so I could talk about getting off birth control since it's a leading (potentially) contributing factor to literally everything that's wrong with me. I canceled it because delta has gotten so bad and then of course my lady parts are now being weird. so I am going to reschedule in a few weeks once the vaccine is at its best cause I am also 1.5yrs behind on a pap also thanks to covid s i g h also! my leg muscles are atrophying. so that's really fun and exciting and I guess I get to set up an appointment with my pcp to figure out 🙃 what 🙃 I fucking do about it 🙃 because I can't do PT!!!! I can hardly do any physical movement which I assume is causing the problem because of my neuro shit, which is also not fixed and probably never will be idek how to process seeing my muscles shrinking in my legs. I'm trying not to think about it too much before I see my doctor but it's scary. it just is I don't know what else to say about it still in a weight plateau. trying to be kind to myself with reminders that I am stretched as thin as I can go and have new, awful stressors every fucking week (which makes me snack when I'm in breakdown mode and not on the good stuff, even if I'm sticking to my calorie budget) so it's not shocking weight isn't coming off. it still is, but at the most glacial pace. it's taken three months to get 9.7lbs down. should be at 15+. still really hoping I hit my big goal (just 10lbs away!!!!!!) before the end of the year I don't know if upping the dosage of nerve pain meds has helped or not because my IIH stuff is episodic now. my new neuro was actually willing to put me on the med no one else wants to without a lumbar puncture cause I am describing obvious elevated pressure in the brain which is causing expected IIH symptoms and he's not a moron. which is nice of him but I also don't want to be on it because it's not without moderate to severe risks? most people end up getting off it within a few weeks or months but hey at least he fucking believes me and said yeah it's prolly IIH but I can't diagnose you without the LP but let's cautiously treat it as IIH I've had two appointments with my psychologist now and I ...... like him....??? but also I don't??? he's fine personally, I think, but I have my doubts already about how he's going to be able to help me professionally. thinking of just calling it quits now and finding someone who takes my insurance so it'll be one less worry. I want to work on trauma and I feel like $150 was completely wasted last week so that's a red flag, right? lol finding a decent therapist is so fucking hard and I wish it wasn't my lease is up in mid-february so I will get a renewal offer no later than early-mid december. it's gonna go up over $400 lol four people have moved out in my building in the last month because of the increase. I paid $680 for this exact same apartment (before renovations but I barely

count them because they're cheap af) when I moved in and it's on the market for $1650-1720 now. makes me feel physically ill my mom can't afford it. she tells me she can, but I truly do not believe it. she says it would make her crazy trying to find somewhere else because I can't move in with her while my brother lives there, because I'm so disabled living there wouldn't be feasible for so many reasons, because I absolutely cannot stress Isis out (who had to go to the emergency vet again. but she's ok) or introduce my two cats to my mom's three cats, one of whom has FeLV. either way tho it's the disability!!!! I am trapped in my own apartment by my disability lmao my mom's friend wants to put me in his rental house but that's just too much. I can't have this giant upheaval in my life both physically and mentally. but I live and suffer in agonizing guilt every single day of my life because my mom pays for this apartment, which wasn't awful when I stopped working, but they've raised rent from $900ish to $1720 in *three years* it's insanity. I cry about this often because I can't move, my mom keeps telling me we can't, and not to worry about money but she's only saying that because it's impossible to leave I am so beyond stressed. this isn't counting what I went through with two (2) pen tablet companies to try to get a working fucking tablet so I could continue my commission. took 15 days but now I can work on art again. it was a nightmare september and october have been nightmarish months in every possible way actually lol rent wouldn't be *as* terrible if my disability claim got approved, but I would be shocked if not only it finished before early/mid-december, but if I get approved at all. and even if I do, every dollar would be going to rent and it wouldn't even be HALF OF RENT. I hate it here I hate this country I hate how it treats disabled and poor people I hate it hate it hate it hate my life too. I can't help it. I hate all of this and it feels like every time I'm begging the universe for a break it keeps throwing more shit at me instead. idk how to have hope anymore but that's been true for a long time now I suppose I have to be careful about how much/how hard I cry. a good hard cry no longer eases the tension but builds up insane pressure in my skull. I can't even cry for a release anymore like come on. it's a joke guys my life is just a joke now I had realllllllly hoped by the end of this year, after starting to lose weight in january, I would be telling you all that my IIH was cured. I shouldn't have hoped for anything at all p.s. I went back a couple of posts and realized I already talked about my neuro and the meds, sorry for saying the same stuff. I can't remember anything and I don't know what time is anymore

#medical #personal #vtforpedro personal #tw medical #tw depression #tw weight loss #tw anxiety #tw covid #im not looking for sympathy please dont think so. need to get this off my chest somewhere #im just tired #i am sorry for this rambling mess and for doom and gloom again #love you all #stay safe and healthy and be kind to yourselves

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allegrosims · 3 years

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"Miss M., you know how everyone is waiting for corona to go away? I forgot what I'm waiting for. I can't really remember how life was before Corona..."

Two weeks ago my students and I (literally) collected 1000 leaves to calculate and experiment with. It was one of my favorite lessons I ever taught. Things have been going so well this school year. The kids have been getting along with each other perfectly and we were looking forward to our one-week-long school trip in December which was supposed to be filled with all the Christmas magic you could imagine. I put so much time and money into planning this trip. For some of my students, it would have been the first "vacation away from home" of their lives.

Today I had to cancel it. And I couldn't even tell my kids in person because I haven't seen them in one and a half weeks. The school has been closed again because of Corona. Some of the parents told me that their kids were devastated when they told them about the canceled trip. Even more so when they told them that the school would continue to be closed until at least mid-December which means that they're missing out on all the Christmasy activities we usually do during the advent season.

All the adults around me are constantly complaining about the pandemic. They're sick of wearing masks. They don't want to be vaccinated. They do want to be vaccinated and hate everyone who doesn't. They want to travel. They're angry at people who still travel and bring the virus into our country. They want to celebrate their decadal birthday with all their friends and family. They want to go back to normal.

I get it. I have those feelings too. I'm sick of this stupid pandemic as well. I could scream anytime someone says "corona". I've lost loved ones. I don't want to feel threatened anytime someone enters the elevator I'm in or panic when I can't find my mask while I'm wearing it under my chin.

But do you know who I believe are the real victims of this pandemic? Our children! My kids are in third grade now and they haven't had a normal school year in their whole life. They haven't been able to celebrate their birthdays with all their friends in three years. There are no sports clubs, no music or orchestra rehearsals, no festivals, events, or big parties, no concerts, no Christmas markets, they can't travel the world with their families and make memories that last a lifetime. Some haven't seen their grandparents in years and others haven't been able to visit their loved ones that live in other countries.

Their childhood is never coming back. These three years are never coming back. And I'm slowly losing hope that things will ever go back to normal. Some time ago one of my students said: "Miss M., you know how everyone is waiting for corona to go away? I forgot what I'm waiting for. I can't really remember how things were before Corona" and it hit me hard. Our children are giving up so much to protect us, adults, because Covid-19 isn't very dangerous for kids. They do understand how dangerous it is for older or sick people, though. And they follow all the rules without complaining while they're giving up and missing out on so many childhood experiences that should be a given.

Some people will say "It could be worse" and yes, it could always be worse! But that doesn't mean things are ok the way they are right now. I don't have a solution. We need the anti-corona measures. Too many people are dying again right now. Almost half of the people I know are currently positive. Some are in hospital. One is in an artificial coma. Half of my class is in quarantine because they were tested positive. It's bad. It's scary. It's scarier than it has ever been. At least in my country.

But my heart is breaking for the children. Canceling this school trip really hurt because I knew how much the kids were looking forward to it and it was a little piece of normalcy to hold on to, especially since all the Christmas events, including the Christmas markets, were canceled as well.

I know that some of my kids and their families are really struggling right now. I know that some of my kids aren't safe at home. For some students, schools aren't just an annoying necessity. For some students, schools are a safe haven. And this pandemic keeps taking that away from them.

Like I said, I don't have a solution. There's no real meaning behind this post, except for maybe hug your little ones a little extra close these days if you have one or two at home. I feel like children get overlooked a lot when it comes to the big "corona discussions". To me, they are the real heroes. I just hope that I'll have my little bunch of heroes safely back in my classroom soon.

#don't reblog #personal #non sims #I'm so sick of this stupid pandemic #fckcorona

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tc-blossom · 3 years

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13-9-21

So I was so nervous walking up the stairs, because I was scared she would be gone again. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t say a little “oh thank God,” when I saw her down the hall.

So when she sees me, she smiles and is all like “Hi!”

So the mf starts to explain how she had a cold, and still got a COVID test even though she’s vaccinated. My heart was breaking because she said she was all stressed out and how she was sorry about being absent the first week. Then she told us she got a bad review about us, then starts to fucking YELL.

Now I was terrified, because angry K is scary K. And so after she starts to teach and then my science teacher comes in and is just like “Don’t I have your class now?” And then K laughs and starts saying how she’s going insane and stuff.

So she made us do some stupid thing where we had to carry our books instead of using our backpacks, (I probably have permanent arm damage from it), and she helped me with my water bottle because I kept fucking dropping it. It’s so humiliating because she kept staring at me as I kept struggling with the books.

So then we get back to K’s class at the end of the day. She starts yelling at the class again because she talked to a teacher and our class was being little bitches. But all my mind was thinking was ‘she smells like coffee 😩’.

So now she starts handing out assignment pads. Normally she was idly saying “you’re welcome,” when someone said thank you, but when I said it, she smiled and said “you’re welcome honey!”

I hate being called honey normally but ofc I make an exception for her.

So I found this drawing that another student made, and two dumb classmates of mine said I looked like them. K walks in and one of the people are just like “K, does Alice look like (student)?” K made eye contact with me for a second and said “no, not at all.”

And so they’re all like “oh.” Then she goes on to make a sarcastic comment about how she’s only seen half of my face from the masks and doesn’t know what I look like. And so the joke flew right over my head and I just said “you don’t?!”

Then K laughs at me and says “I’m kidding, I know what you look like,” and then I probably went red right there.

So during dismissal, my pencil was on the ground and she picked it up, and is just like, “is this yours?” And it is, so I say yeah.

Now HERE’S the nice part.

As she hands the pencil to me, my thumb brushes against her knuckle. I hope I didn’t accidentally scratch her lmao. But her hand was so WARM.

So she told us she tutors in math too? And works at a college and does a night class?! Superwoman is that you?

And then later I grab my backpack and she’s just like “bye honey! Don’t forget your water bottle,” and then I grab the water bottle and this time she says “bye hon!”

And in my opinion, today was a great day! (Not a lot of optimistic tc’ers, am I right tcc?)

#tc update #teacher crush #teacher crush community #female tc #tcc #tcc family #tc #teacher crush update #tc updates with alice

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argumentl · 4 years

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The Freedom of Expression Ep 26 - German virus transmission experiment.

K: This is Dir en grey's Kaoru, with this episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome.

T: Kaoru san?

K: Hm?

T: I thought we could invite a guest today.

K: Ahhh?

T: So, should we call him?

J: Who is it?

T: Who do you think it is? Someone with a connection to this show.

K: One of those two..

J: Yeh, one of them.

T: Here you are..*hands phone over*

Caller: Hello

J: Hello.Who is it?

Caller: Its Dobashi.

K: Is it Bishbash san?

J: Bishbash Dobashi san.

Caller/Dobashi: The people watching this on Youtube will be a bit afraid, thinking 'Who is this guy??'

J: No, the core fans will know you.

D: Will they? Am I ok?

J: We've heard from Tasai san that you've moved up in the world at Tokyo Sports?

D: No way, Im just in the middle management.

K: No, no, no, only someone important could say that.

J: He's superior, thats right. Its always that pattern, right?

D: I can't really come to see you anymore, Im sorry about that.

J: Where are you going out for entertainment?

K, D: Haha

J: You're pretending to be busy, according to Tasai san, you are making full use of company funds to have fun.

D: What are you talking about?? During the corona crisis I've been stuck at home all the time.

K: Even though the Olympics won't happen, you've been using the Olympics as an excuse to run around all over Japan.

J: Yeh yeh yeh yeh.

D: Well, because its been postponed, right?

J: You don't need to hurry if its been postponed though, do you? As the Olympics reporter?

K: He's pretty stuck now.

D: Since the Olympics have been postponed, I've kinda been distanced from that role though.

J: Oh really?

T: Oh, I see.

J: Eh? Whats your job now? What are you covering now?

D: What am I covering?

J: You don't know? haha.

K: Well, no, he's become more senior...

J: Oh, yeah.

K: So maybe he won't be sent out places and stuff.

D: If I'm forced to say it, I'm probably the spiritual reporter.

K: Ehh?

T: Oh, yeah.

D: From psychics to fortunes, haha.

T: The whole of Tokyo Sports' spiritual corner is done by one person.

K: Like..give us some stories! haha.

D: I'll bring the fortune teller and psychic who Tokyo Sports recommends to see you some time.

J: Really?

D: We'll get Kaoru's fortune read.

J: Oh, lets do it!

K: Sounds good, haha.

D: And Joe san's.

J: Oh yes, yes please!

T: I bet Joe is probably possessed by lots of girl's spirits.

J: No, I wanna know my fortune, about whether or not I'll be able to get re-married by age 55.

T: Ahh.

D: Really?

Kami: Thats impossible.

J: Impossible? Kami!

K: He appeared all of a sudden.

D: Ohh, yeah. I see.

J: Couldn't you hear Kami's voice? No?

D: Ah, Kami?

Kami: Kami heeere!

K: Kami's voice..

T: He's here.

Kami: Its Kami heere!

T: He's saying, 'Kami's heere'

Kami: Kami heeere.

K: I don't think he can hear.

J: Yeah, he can't hear. One system can't hear the other.

D: I can't hear.

T: Kami was saying in a very affable voice, 'Kami heere!'

D: Hahaha. Well, hi.

K: Hahaha

Kami: Hello.

K: Its been a while since back then, right?

J: Yep.

T: *To Dobashi* Thank you very much.

D: Yes, thank you so much!

T, J: Sorry to disturb you. *End phone call*

J: Ahh, its been a while since we spoke to Bishbash Dobashi san.

K: He seemed a bit troubled, right?

J: He did. It might be because it was difficult to communicate. But if he brings that fortune teller sometime on this show, that will be fun.

T: Will that be ok?

J: Yeah, I really wanna see it! How about you, Kaoru? Do you?

K: Yes

J: Lets do it together.

T: It is incredible. That guy seems to get it right. Its kinda scary. Dobashi saw him once, and he said he purified him.

J:Eh??

K: Oh really?

J: Was Dobashi possessed by something?

T: Well, at that time, he was going through a lot of trouble in his life, but after that..

J: Everything got better? He improved?

T: Yes, eventually.

J: Oh, lets get this guy to do us.

T: Hiranabe was also seen by him.

J: Ehh?

T: After that Hiranabe got promoted to Director.

J: Director, right?

K: Let's have today's news please Joe.

J: Yes, I'll get it started. Well, for us who are looking forward to live shows, this is some big news towards possibly re-starting them. 'Looking for 4200 test volunteers' - An experiment in virus transmission in Germany.

A group of German scientists are currently planning the project 'Re-Start 19' to find out how Covid-19 spreads in stadium environments. They aim to gather quantitative data to find out how best to restart concerts, as the current outlook for the music word doesn't look favourable. As for the project, they plan to carry it out in Leipzig Stadium, and are looking for 4200 volunteers between the ages of 18 and 50. After getting all 4200 volunteers into the statdium, a singer will perform, and they will test things like how far saliva sprays out etc. All participants must test negative for the virus two days before the experiment, and once in the venue, they must wear masks and use hand alcohol. The alcohol will contain a fluorescent substance to make it possible to see the areas where people often touch, and a smoke machine will be used to specify the spread of the virus through the air. So, this will take place on the 22nd of August, and the researchers will announce the results before October. While some reduced scale contcerts are beginning to restart, there are high hopes that this study will produce effective data.There arent any big experiments happening like this in Japan, are they?

K: Well, yeh, because you have to use actual people in the experiment

J: Yeh

K: They'd want them to catch the disease, right?

J: Well, they are trying to see where people touch, or how far saliva sprays and stuff, so they are trying to create a simulation, using these nearly 5000 people.

T: It does come with a risk.

J: If there is an infected person there, it is possible that an outbreak might occur, but if you just make armchair guesses like, 'Oh maybe its this, maybe its that', and put on live shows with incomplete counter-measures....But if you do it properly like this, and find out how exactly an outbreak spreads in this kind if group situation, you can use that data and take appropriate counter-measures. Not emotional counter-measures, but doing it properly and thoroughly. You could say its a very German approach. What do you think, Kaoru?

K: Hmm, yeah. Well, they are looking for people to take part, right?

J: Yeah, I wonder how that will go. It says they are currently appealing for people.

T: Volunteers, right?

J: Yeah.

K: And they must test negative two days before the experiment, but that means on the day of the experiment, there could be people who've caught it within two days.

J: Yeah, there could be. It is certainly not a zero risk situation.

K: They are recruiting people with the warning that there is a risk of becoming infected, right?

J: Well, probably, yeah.

K: If 4200 people gather in one place?

J: Yeh. They are tested two days previously, but on the day, there must be...Well, they will probable test peoples' temperatures as they arrive. But there is the possibility it gets missed. I mean, to the German people, it might be less of a case of whether thats good or bad, and more of a conclusion that its more dangerous to go ahead without gathering the proper data first. If they tried to do this experiment in Japan, it would get quite a lot of criticism, I think.

K, T: Definitely.

J: I don't know quite why that is. Maybe in Germany they have a different relationship with music, or maybe if they say, 'Lets get going!', they have to make sure they do this kind of thing first. Well, I don't know whether they'll actually be able to gather 4200 people, but they'll probably get close. They'll be forgiven for the experiment.

K: Who is funding this? The state?

J: Well, its a group of scientists, I don't know as far as whether the state will fund it, but it seems like the main focus is on these scientists. So if there was no scientific rationale for this type if live performance to go ahead..

K: Nothing will happen, right?

J: Right. Rather than having some emotionally charged reason, like 'Now is the right time!' or , 'This is the best way!' or something, if you could set a kinda of standard using the results if this experiment, you could have some kind of criteria. Its gives a sense of security to both the performers, and the audience.

T: Tim Bendzko san

J: Bendzko san..what type of artist it he?

T: Well he's a pop singer. The conditions of the participants are, like you said Joe, testing the effects of socially distanced seating, or not.*1

Y: Yeh, yeh.

Kami: Umm...

J: Yes?

Kami: Even if they release the results to show how covid spreads or doesn't spread, in the end, if people are scared of covid they won't gather at these kind of places, but people who think covid is no big deal will gather, right?

J: Well, at first, yeah. Some people on the viewing side may be worried or scared, and end up not going.

Kami: For people who are worried about getting infected, even if there is just a small risk, they probably won't go, will they? They might go if you tell them, 'We know the transmission routes, and we have proof that you definitely won't be infected', but if you say, 'We mostly understand it, and you probably won't be infected', some people probably won't go, they will be afraid if getting sick. So even if you put a lot of effort in, and announce the results, will it be enough?

K: Well, I reckon this kind of thing will steadily keep improving.

J: Rather than happening all at once...

K: Yeah, not like that, they'll just have to keep trying to weaken peoples' fears bit by bit. But rather than doing nothing, I think this experiment will help towards moving forward a little.

J: Well, whatever you deal with, its never all or nothing. Within this process, if some people or scenes can be saved, it'll be one more thing to be relieved about. I think this problem relating to covid and live shows won't be quickly solved, even if we get a vaccine. But doing this one thing, Im repeating what you said Kaoru, but it will be important as a pointer in the direction of relief.

K: Yeah, but not only for live shows, I also want them to do it for daily life, like in the train and stuff. If we don't, then we won't be able to do anything.

T: If its made more visible, people would feel calmer about it. Like, if you know where the danger is, you won't go there, right? Avoid the pit holes.

J: Yes, thats right. Seeing those facts... well, isn't this experiment predicated to cost 100 million yen, right? I don't know if that will be funded by the government, or whether the researchers themselves will gather the money, but the very fact that there are scientists working to restart live shows, must be a source of hope for German artists. Well, so for the time being in Germany, they are appealing for healthy volunteers age 18 to 50 to take part in this experiment on transmission at live shows.

K: It will happen quite soon, right? On the 22nd? Just a little bit after this is broadcast? A few weeks after?

J: Yeah. And then the results will be announced in October, so around that time, we could talk about the results here.

T: Its data that a lot of people in the Japanese music business will want to know.

J: I think so.

K: Ok, well, let's end here. Please subscribe. Thank you very much.

*1 Couldn't clearly hear what Tasai said, but this is what the experiment conditions were.

#the freedom of expression #tfoe #dir en grey #kaoru #薫

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ellaintrigue · 3 years

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I'll spare this post the picture of me covered in blood in my car that I sent Erin, LOL.

I was just sick for about 4 weeks, probably with covid. I didn't get tested since I stay at home anyway and I am no longer contagious now and just got vaccinated. It wrecked my sinuses though, my nose kept getting slightly bloody, nothing major. But I had a fever, chills, delirium, and was coughing my ass off.

Finally it ebbed away but the past few days I kept getting worse nose bleeds, and it's so hard to wipe your boogers when there's scabs. So the day before yesterday I picked one and cussed myself, made sure I didn't do it anymore. Yesterday I did it again anyway and it bled bad. More self loathing.

It stopped and I went about my day, then I gently wiped my nose and literal torrents of blood came out of my nostril. I had never bled that bad in my life, it really freaked me the fuck out. I was already frustrated with work, life, and having to go out just to buy a new phone charger. On top of a bad period, I haven't been right since my gynecological problems in January. I cried out of fear and frustration and bled for 15 minutes despite holding my nose shut. Yuck!!

About 6 hours later I was laying in bed, not touching my nose or snorting or anything in the least and it started raining torrents of blood again. I mean, bad. There was a point where it was like someone was dumping a glass of water the blood was coming down so hard. I put a chip bag clip on my nose and put a bra on. I never go out without a bra, that's a major comfort thing. I ran out still in my pajamas and started that Oldsmobile after calling my dad to tell him I was going to the hospital.

I walked in covered in blood and sat down, there was 8 other people in the waiting room and a skinny tattooed chick in a heavy exaggerated sounding Southern accent whining on and on about how she had waited forever and the hospital might as well just be killing people. She said she was going to pee her pants and make staff clean it up. There was a bathroom a few doors down so I went and peed and washed some blood off but there was so much it wasn't worth it.

I started coughing up blood in the rag I had held to my face so I spit these giant blobs of shit into it and shoved it in my purse and put a mask on. I felt the tattooed chick staring at me as she continued to whine loudly and make exaggerated sighs with her boyfriend or husband. I felt like smacking the shit out of her because we shouldn't compare traumas and I don't know what she was in there for but no one wanted to hear her shit, especially the one older woman leaning over in pain in her wheelchair, her body obviously warped from many health issues.

More people flooded in including a 300+ pound woman in a mask that said "THIS MASK IS USELESS JUST LIKE BIDEN." They were having people come into a room to get their vitals checked so after I got mine they ushered the big woman in. She waddled back out and said in a surprised voice, "they said my blood pressure was high." Shocker.

Two staff members ushered people into rooms and the tatted chick bitched louder "WHY DO THOSE PEOPLE GET SPECIAL TREATMENT?" Finally a doctor came and got me, to the anger of the woman. "Why does she get an actual doctor?" He sat me down in a room that said "family room" and apologized, saying all their beds were full, hence all the people waiting in the lobby. He asked me what had happened, stuck a speculum up my nose, and shined his cellphone flashlight at it, confirming a torn blood vessel. He said it wasn't big enough to cauterize and it might not be good to pack it, so I asked him what to do. He gave some instructions I didn't see online before and some other tips. He gave me a nose clamp and said if it got worse to come back and then he would do something.

He was nice but I wish he could have burned it anyway. My body and system are compromised but not to the point where he felt it would effect nose bleeds. A woman came in to get my insurance card and said she was overwhelmed by all of the tourists flooding the waiting room. And I get that, I dealt with tourists for years. I know my issue might not have been super major but I also felt some of those people could have just gone to urgent care. One looked like she had bad sunburn. I think people like the woman crumpled in the wheelchair needed an ER bed more. I know I didn't need a bed, I was happy with the doctor just giving me somewhat of a clear. That amount of blood was scary and I knew I needed to get it checked out.

I left and went to Rite Aid to get some stuff the doctor talked about and some tampons. I've never bought tampons in my life because I medically can't use them but they can be stuffed up my snout if need be.

When I got home my kitties were worried about me except for the old one who didn't move and lay there looking dead. I woke up at midnight spouting blood again so now my room really looks like someone got murdered in it. So we shall see how it goes. In times like these it feels like I got one foot out the door.

#Selfie #Personal #Drama #Blood #Illness #Health #Kitty #Tourists #Annoying #Life #Bullshit

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elwingflight · 5 years

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Coronavirus: Information & Guidelines

What you can do now, and what to prepare for

There seems to be a lack of what-to-do suggestions on tumblr beyond handwashing, so I thought I’d put something together. I’ve never actually encouraged people to reblog something of mine before, but this might be the time. To be clear: I am not personally a public health expert of any kind. Both my parents are (epidemiology/global health degrees, worked for CDC) and I’ve run this by them. My information is coming from disease researchers on twitter and official public health guidelines online. Sources at the end of the post. This is mostly directed at people in countries where COVID-19 has been reported (I’m in the U.S.), but is not *yet* widespread in the community. Written Mar. 1st 2020, last updated 3/9 (shorter, helpful twitter thread here, helpful NPR article here)

General Info

Firstly, a lot of politicians are *still* trying to sugarcoat things, but it should be clear by now that the new coronavirus is spreading widely and will continue to do so. Because of the incubation period, and in the U.S. at least the delay in testing, the number of cases is almost certainly going to increase rapidly in the near future no matter what we do now. Official government sources are helpful, but its also good to look at what experts on viral epidemics who aren’t directly government-affiliated are saying. Their agenda is purely informing the public in the most constructive way possible, without politics getting in the way.

Two key points- COVID-19 can have a long incubation period (the time from when you catch the virus to when you start showing symptoms) and most people don’t get severe symptoms. Some are entirely asymptomatic, but most people get typical flu-like symptoms. Specifically, the early symptoms to watch out for are a fever and dry cough (meaning, a stuffy nose is probably just a regular cold). Its possible but unlikely to transmit the virus while asymptomatic, most transmission happens when you have heavier symptoms.

The most vulnerable people are the elderly (~ over 60) and those with preexisting health conditions (i.e. cardiovascular disease, respiratory condition, diabetes), or a simultaneous infection with something else (NOT kids in particular!) So far the mortality rate has been about 1-2% (compared to 0.1% for the general winter flu - yes, this really is worse). However, that might be an overestimate, both because people with mild cases aren’t getting tested (the denominator should be bigger), and because the early situation in Wuhan, where a lot of our numbers come from, was especially bad in regards to availability of healthcare.

This is an emotional, difficult situation. Don’t panic. The world didn’t end in 1918, and its not going to end now. But it is very serious, and we need to be thinking about it rationally, not pretending everything is just going to be okay, or uselessly pointing blame. Take care of your mental health, and check in with each other. Epidemics test our generosity and selflessness. Those qualities are needed right now, but don’t neglect yourself either.

What You Can Do Now

There is stuff everyone can do both to prevent yourself from getting infected, and to prepare if you do. ***The big picture to keep in mind is that the biggest risk of epidemics is that they overwhelm our system, especially our healthcare system. What I mean by this is that our society is built to deal with a certain volume of things happening at once- people buying groceries, getting sick, etc. If we suddenly all rush to do something, we overburden these systems and they won’t be there for the people who need them most. Therefore our goal is to slow down the spread of disease, buying time and lowering the overall burden on these systems. This is called “flattening the curve”. It looks like this, and I cannot stress how important this is.***

A very helpful thread on preparedness

Staying Healthy

Like similar viruses (think colds and flu), COVID-19 is mostly transmitted from person to person, usually by close contact but sometimes from an infected surface. More here.

Wash your hands. Everyone has heard this one- 20 seconds, soap all over your hands, wash the soap off. If you can’t wash your hands use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer (at least 60% alcohol). But handwashing is absolutely better. Also- cough into your elbow/shoulder, not your hand, and avoid shaking hands- try elbow bumps or maybe a polite nod instead! If you’re handwashing so much that you’re hands are threatening to crack and bleed though, consider washing more strategically or using hand sanitizer instead.

In combination with hand-washing- stop touching your face, especially while out! This takes practice, everyone does it all the time without thinking. A good practice is to avoid touching your face while out, then wash your hands thoroughly as soon as you get home.

Similarly, avoid touching surfaces as much as possible! Particularly bad are door handles, elevator buttons, that kind of thing. The virus can probably (based on studies of related viruses) last a while on these. Regular gloves can help a bit. Use a tissue then throw it away, use your elbow, etc.

Do Not buy face masks! There’s mixed evidence on whether they’re at all helpful when used by the general public to prevent catching a virus, but actual medical professionals who need them are facing shortages (that’s probably part of why so many healthcare workers got sick in Wuhan), so our buying them up is really bad. The only times you should be wearing them is if you yourself are sick (they do help then!) or if you’re looking after a sick person. Seek instruction in that case in how to use them properly. (Thread on why buying those fancy masks is not good).

If COVID-19 is in your community, try to stay 6 feet from people, which basically means going places as little as possible. See below.

Planning Ahead

Its also a good idea to prepare in case you need to self-quarantine. Self-quarantine is necessary if you’ve potentially been exposed to COVID-19, or if you’re sick but not enough to need to go to the hospital. Follow local guidelines- if there’s lots of transmission in your area, nonessential workers will probably be advised to stay home as much as possible.

If you’re able, get medication now. Don’t go crazy and buy out the drug store, just a reasonable amount. Try to get at least a month’s worth of any prescription medications. This can be hard at least in the U.S. - your doctor may well be able to prescribe more, but insurance companies and drug stores can be terrible. I’ve found trying a different drugstore can sometimes help. Try your best. They may also be reluctant to prescribe more to avoid causing shortages. Idk what the right answer is here.

Don’t go crazy and buy out the store, but start getting a little extra shelf-stable or frozen food. Even some root vegetables that will last a few weeks. You want enough for 2 weeks in case of self-quarantine, but you do NOT want to empty out stores. Panic buying is definitely a stress on the system. Just add a few extra things each time you shop. Don’t forget about pets. You can always eat the food and replenish it over time.

Make a plan with your family/community. If someone gets sick or needs to self-quarantine, is there a corner of the house they can stay in? Who can take care of them? etc. I haven’t focused on plans for schools/religious communities/workplaces etc but those are very important too! This is one place where keeping an eye on local and national news is important. In the U.S., for example, school systems are planning ways to make food available to kids if they’re not going to school.

If COVID-19 is starting to spread in your community, think about how else you can be a good community member. Cancelling nonessential doctor’s appointments, surgeries etc may be very important, for example. If schools are closed, can you help out neighbors with childcare? Do you have a cleaner who may need to be payed in advance if there’s a quarantine?

If You Might Be Sick/Need to Quarantine

See likely symptoms above. Remember, normal colds still exist, and if you go to the doctor for every one of those you will overwhelm the system.

Don’t just go to a hospital! Call ahead to your doctor/clinic/hospital and get instructions on what to do. Getting healthcare workers sick is something we really want to avoid. That said, DO get tested as soon as possible, and act as if you are contagious. The health coverage situation is the U.S. is not yet clear (and ofc its not something the current admin is eager to clarify). Hopefully testing will be covered financially by the government, but I can’t promise that at this time.

In the meantime, stay home and quarantined if you show any symptoms of illness if you possibly, possibly can. This is especially difficult in the U.S. if you don’t have sick leave/childcare, but please. Do your utmost.

Look after yourself. Skype/google hangouts/etc is great for keeping connected. Have some chocolate/chicken broth/other sick foods ready.

The Big Picture

Coronavirus/COVID-19 has not been declared a pandemic yet, but it probably will be before long. This is almost certainly going to get worse before it gets better. We don’t yet know if warmer weather will slow its spread, and a vaccine will probably take about 1-1.5 years to be developed and tested. As I mentioned before, the best thing we can do to keep the world working, minimize mortality, etc is to slow the spread as much as we can, and minimize the strain on the system. Hospitals are going to be overwhelmed. There aren’t infinite unoccupied beds or ventilators, or people to operate them, and supply chains could get disrupted. Thinking about these things is scary, and it will take time to adjust to what’s happening. Start that process now, and help everyone you know reach the point where they’re able to act, not panic. Another reassuring thing- if we slow the spread of COVID-19, in addition to fewer total people getting sick, you will soon have people who are recovered and almost certainly immune. These people will be invaluable as helpers in their communities.

Now that the practical stuff is out of the way, I want to say from a U.S. perspective that yes, our lack of social welfare other countries take for granted is going to hurt us. Lack of access to childcare, no guaranteed paid sick leave, and of course expensive healthcare are massive problems that will make it much harder to limit disease transmission. Help each other in any way you can, and vote for candidates that support implementing these policies! And of course, watch out for propaganda of all kinds, whether its using the virus as an excuse for racism, calls to delay elections, etc. So far my biggest concern is a lack of willingness to admit how serious this is, but we can do this. Lets put extra pressure on politicians to be honest and change policies to actually help people. But, yes, lets also stay united. We need each other now (just, you know, 6 feet apart).

A few sources

In general, the Guardian is a great, free, reliable source of news. In the U.S., NPR (website as well as radio) is another great source. The Washington Post and Seattle Times have made their coronavirus-related coverage open access, not sure about other national newspapers.

twitter thread from World Health Organization (WHO)

U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) COVID-19 homepage (not being updated in some ways it should be, like total # of tests)

A reality check from some non-Governmental experts (basically, what governments don’t want to say yet, which is that this virus is going to spread, and the goal now is to infect as few people as possible, as slowly as possible. Read this.)

Why you should act now, not when things get bad in your area (we’re always operating on outdated information)

If you want the latest technical info, The Lancet (major medical journal group) has all of their content compiled here, open access.

I can do my best to answer questions (i.e. ask my dad) but those or other reliable, readily find-able sources should have you pretty well covered. Do let me know if anything on here is wrong or needs to be updated! Stay safe, stay positive, we can do this.

#coronavirus #covid19 #covid-19 #healthcare #actually important shit

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barnesbabee · 3 years

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Not the same anon, however, I think talking about the vaccine sometimes can be very triggering for some people. I'm someone who has had severe adverse reactions to vaccines and an issue with my body that doesn't take well to certain things so I have to run plenty of tests before I get the vaccine. When people are like don't talk and don't come near me to me till you get it or it's your fault we are gonna be in the pandemic forever or you are basically killing people.. it really really really freaking hurts. It doesn't happen to me all the time but when I witness it I get scared and I feel so different and alone. All my friends have it and I'm just there. For me there is a risk getting the vaccine because my body will possibly fail on me and there is a risk of getting covid later. I understand it's no cold but I've survived some pretty serious stuff so I'm just thrown off when people are a wee aggressive about the vaccine. Not saying you guys are, but ya know it's just scary. Idk. I hope this isn't off-putting, I just wanted to share my thoughts.

with all due respect, it's a pandemic. Before covid got to America I saw bodies getting carried out of Italy in military cars because funeral homes and morgues couldn't take any more bodies. There's people whose lung capacity will never be the same anymore. If people are freaked out and don't want you near them, they're very much in their right, because it's a pandemic, it WILL freak people out.

I understand that your body might react badly to the vaccine but I guarantee death is much worse, and again, with all due respect, this text just seems like a whole lot of victimizing to be honest. People get bad fevers, and stay whole days in bed because of the vaccine because it's something that protects you from a virus that wiped out millions, if your friends are like yeah maybe don't come near me I get it because my friends went out the other day and the next day there was a party at my friend's house and I didn't go because I knew that my FRIENDS that were partying in a bar would be there and I didn't want to risk it. If you don't wanna take the vaccine (which many people don't have the access to that easily, might I add, so there's a bit of privilege in here you gotta admit) that's fine, it isn't actually, but if you have an actual condition (not just oh no my body hurrts boo hoo, I mean an actual health condition) it's understandable, but you also have to respect that some people will be a little reluctant to be around you. It's going on the 2nd year of this bullshit and we're all tired of death and masks and constantly having to be careful

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tinyshe · 3 years

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Pure, Unalloyed Evil Masked as a Pandemic Analysis by Mike Whitney

“Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” William Shakespeare, The Tempest

Mike Yeadon is a soft-spoken microbiologist and a former vice-president of allergy and respiratory research at Pfizer. He spent 32 years working for large pharmaceutical companies and is a leading expert on viral respiratory infections.

He is also a man on a mission, and his mission is to inform as many people as possible about the elite powerbrokers that are using the pandemic as a smokescreen to conceal their real objectives. Here’s Yeadon in a recent interview:1

“If you wanted to depopulate a significant portion of the world, and to do it in a way that wouldn’t require destruction of the environment with nuclear weapons, or poisoning everyone with anthrax or something, and you wanted plausible deniability, whilst you had a multi-year infectious disease crisis; I don’t think you could come up with a better plan of work than what seems to be in front of me.

I can’t say that’s what they’re going to do, but I cannot think of a benign explanation for why they are doing it.”

“Depopulation?” Who said anything about depopulation? Isn’t it a bit of a stretch to go from a mass vaccination campaign to allegations of a conspiracy to “depopulate a significant portion of the world?” Indeed, it is, but Yeadon has done extensive research on the matter and provides compelling evidence that such a diabolical objective may, in fact, be the goal.

Humans Are Capable of Unimaginable Viciousness and Cruelty

Moreover, it is not for lack of proof that people are not persuaded that Yeadon is right, but something more fundamental; the inability to grasp that men are capable of almost-unimaginable viciousness and cruelty. Here’s Yeadon again:2

“It’s become absolutely clear to me, even when I talk to intelligent people, friends, acquaintances … and they can tell I’m telling them something important, but they get to the point [where I say] ‘your government is lying to you in a way that could lead to your death and that of your children,’ and they can’t begin to engage with it.

And I think maybe 10% of them understand what I said, and 90% of those blank their understanding of it because it is too difficult. And my concern is, we are going to lose this, because people will not deal with the possibility that anyone is so evil …

But I remind you of what happened in Russia in the 20th century, what happened in 1933 to 1945, what happened in, you know, Southeast Asia in some of the most awful times in the post-war era. And, what happened in China with Mao and so on … We’ve only got to look back two or three generations. All around us there are people who are as bad as the people doing this.

They’re all around us. So, I say to folks, the only thing that really marks this one out, is its scale. But actually, this is probably less bloody, it’s less personal, isn’t it? The people who are steering this … it’s going to be much easier for them. They don’t have to shoot anyone in the face.

They don’t have to beat someone to death with a baseball bat, or freeze them, starve them, make them work until they die. All of those things did happen two or three generations back … That’s how close we are. And all I’m saying is, some shifts like that are happening again, but now they are using molecular biology.”

People ‘Cannot Imagine Anything so Demonic’

He’s right, isn’t he? Whereas, a great many people know that the government, the media and the public health officials have been lying to them about everything from the efficacy of masks, social distancing and lockdowns, to the life-threatening dangers of experimental vaccines, they still refuse to believe that the people orchestrating this operation might be pushing them inexorably toward infertility or an early death.

They cannot imagine anything so demonic, so they stick their heads in the sand and pretend not to see what is going on right beneath their noses. It’s called “denial” and it is only strengthening the position of the puppet masters that are operating behind the scenes. Here’s more from Yeadon:3

“… In the last year I have realized that my government and its advisers are lying in the faces of the British people about everything to do with this coronavirus. Absolutely everything. It’s a fallacy this idea of asymptomatic transmission and that you don’t have symptoms, but you are a source of a virus.

That lockdowns work, that masks have a protective value obviously for you or someone else, and that variants are scary things and we even need to close international borders in case some of these nasty foreign variants get in.”

Many readers may have noticed that this interview appeared on a small Christian website called Lifesite News. Why is that? Shouldn’t the informed observations of a former Pfizer vice president appear on the front pages of The New York Times or The Washington Post? Wouldn’t you expect the big cable news channels to run a hot-button interview like this as their headline story?

Of course not. No one expects that, because everyone knows that the media honchos reflexively quash any story that doesn’t support the “official narrative,” that is, that COVID is the most contagious and lethal virus of all time, which requires a new authoritarian political structure and the wholesale evisceration of civil liberties.

No One Is Allowed to Refute the Official Propaganda

Isn’t that the underlying storyline of the last year? COVID skeptics and naysayers, like Yeadon, are not allowed to refute the official propaganda or debate the issue on a public forum. They’re effectively banned from the MSM and consigned to the outer reaches of the Internet where only a scattered few will read what they have to say. Here’s more:4

“Everything I have told you, every single one of those things is demonstrably false. But our entire national policy is based on these all being broadly right, but they are all wrong. But what I would like to do is talk about immune escape because I think that’s probably going to be the end game for this whole event, which I think is probably a conspiracy.

Last year I thought it was what I called ‘convergent opportunism.’ That is, a bunch of different stakeholder groups have managed to pounce on a world in chaos to push us in a particular direction. So, it looked like it was kind of linked, but I was prepared to say it was just convergence.

I [now] think that’s naïve. There is no question in my mind that very significant powerbrokers around the world have either planned to take advantage of the next pandemic or created the pandemic. One of those two things is true because the reason it must be true is that dozens and dozens of governments are all saying the same lies and doing the same inefficacious things that demonstrably cost lives.”

Let’s pause for a minute, and ask ourselves why a modest, self-effacing microbiologist who operated in the shadows for his entire professional career has thrust himself into the limelight when he knows, for certain, he will either be ridiculed, smeared, discredited, dragged through the mud or killed.

In fact, he openly admits that he fears for his safety and assumes that he could be “removed” (“assassinated”) by his enemies. So, why is he doing this? Why is he risking life and limb to get the word out about vaccines?

A Moral Obligation to Warn People

It’s because he feels a moral obligation to warn people about the danger they face. Yeadon is not an attention-seeking narcissist. In fact, he’d rather vanish from public life altogether.

But he’s not going to do that because he’s selflessly committed to doing his duty by sounding the alarm about a malign strategy that may well lead to the suffering and death of literally tens of millions of people. That’s why he’s doing it, because he’s an honorable man with a strong sense of decency. Remember decency? Here’s more:5

“You can see that I am desperately trying not to say that it is a conspiracy, because I have no direct evidence that it is a conspiracy. Personally, all my instincts are shouting that it’s a conspiracy as a human being, but as a scientist, I can’t point to the smoking gun that says they made this up on purpose.”

Many of us who have followed events closely for the last year and have searched the internet for alternate points of view are equally convinced that it is a conspiracy, just as Russiagate was a conspiracy. And while we might not have conclusive, rock-solid proof of criminal activity, there is voluminous circumstantial evidence to support the claim.

By definition, a “conspiracy” is “an evil, unlawful, treacherous, or surreptitious plan formulated in secret by two or more persons.”6 What is taking place presently across the western world meets that basic definition.

Just as the contents of this article meet the basic definition of a “conspiracy theory,” which is “an attempt to explain harmful or tragic events as the result of the actions of a small powerful group. Such explanations reject the accepted narrative surrounding those events; indeed, the official version may be seen as further proof of the conspiracy.”7

We make no attempt to deny that this is a conspiracy theory, any more than we deny that senior-level officials at the FBI, CIA, DOJ and U.S. State Department were involved in a covert operation aimed at convincing the American people that Donald Trump was a Russian agent.

That was a conspiracy theory that was later proven to be a fact. We expect that the facts about the COVID operation will eventually emerge, acquitting us on that account as well. Here’s more from Yeadon:8

“I think the end game is going to be, ‘everyone receives a vaccine’ … Everyone on the planet is going to find themselves persuaded, cajoled, not quite mandated, hemmed-in to take a jab.

When they do that every single individual on the planet will have a name, or unique digital ID and a health status flag which will be ‘vaccinated,’ or not … and whoever possesses that, sort of single database, operable centrally, applicable everywhere to control, to provide as it were, a privilege, you can either cross this particular threshold or conduct this particular transaction or not depending on [what] the controllers of that one human population database decide.

And I think that’s what this is all about because once you’ve got that, we become playthings and the world can be as the controllers of that database want it.”

Mass Vaccination a Pathway to Absolute Social Control

So mass vaccination is actually the pathway to absolute social control by technocratic elites accountable to no one? Are we there yet? Pretty close, I’d say. Here’s more:9

“And they are talking the same sort of future script which is, ‘We don’t want you to move around because of these pesky ‘variants’ — (but) ‘don’t worry, there will be ‘top-up’ vaccines that will cope with the potential escapees.’ They’re all saying this when it is obviously nonsense.”

Is he right? Is the variant hobgoblin now being invoked to prolong the restrictions, intensify the paranoia and pave the way for endless rounds of mass vaccination? Judge for yourself, but here’s a sampling of articles that appeared in recent news that will help you decide:

1. Reuters — South African Variant Can ‘Break Through’ Pfizer Vaccine, Israeli study says10

“The coronavirus variant discovered in South Africa can ‘break through’ Pfizer/BioNTech’s COVID-19 vaccine to some extent, a real-world data study in Israel found, though its prevalence in the country is low and the research has not been peer reviewed …

We found a disproportionately higher rate of the South African variant among people vaccinated with a second dose, compared to the unvaccinated group. This means that the South African variant is able, to some extent, to break through the vaccine’s protection,” said Tel Aviv University’s Adi Stern. (So, according to the article — the vaccine doesn’t work.)

2. The New York Times — Rise of Variants in Europe Shows How Dangerous the Virus Can Be11

“Europe, the epicenter of the coronavirus pandemic last spring, has once again swelled with new cases, which are inundating some local hospitals and driving a worrisome global surge of Covid-19.

But this time, the threat is different: The rise in new cases is being propelled by a coronavirus variant first seen in Britain and known as B.1.1.7. The variant is not only more contagious than last year’s virus, but also deadlier.

The variant is now spreading in at least 114 countries. Nowhere, though, are its devastating effects as visible as in Europe, where thousands are dying each day and countries’ already-battered economies are once again being hit by new restrictions on daily life …

Vaccines will eventually defeat the variants, scientists say. [So, they don’t work now??] And stringent restrictions can drive down cases of B.1.1.7. [So, don’t leave your home.] …

‘We’ve seen in so many countries how quickly it can become dominant,’ said Lone Simonsen, a professor and director of the PandemiX Center at Roskilde University in Denmark.

‘And when it dominates, it takes so much more effort to maintain epidemic control than was needed with the old variant.’” [In other words, we are effectively dealing with a different pathogen that requires a different antidote. It’s an admission that the current crop of vaccines doesn’t work.]

3. Cell — SARS-CoV-2 Variants B.1.351 and P.1 Escape From Neutralizing Antibodies12

“… our findings indicate that the B.1.351 and P.1 variants might be able to spread in convalescent patients or BNT162b2-vaccinated individuals and thus constitute an elevated threat to human health.

Containment of these variants by non-pharmaceutic interventions is an important task.” [Note — In other words, the new vaccines don’t work against the new COVID strains, so we might need to preserve the onerous lockdown restrictions forever.]

How can people read this fearmongering bunkum and not see that it is designed to terrify and manipulate the masses into sheeplike compliance?

Variant Being Used to Fuel COVID Hysteria

There’s no denying that the variant is being used to fuel the COVID hysteria and perpetuate the repressive social restrictions. So, the question we should be asking ourselves is whether we can trust what we are being told by the media and the public health officials?

And the answer is “No,” we cannot trust them. They have repeatedly misled the public on all manner of topics including masks, asymptomatic transmission, immunity, infection fatality rate, social distancing and now variants. According to Sunetra Gupta, who is professor of theoretical epidemiology in the Department of Zoology at the University of Oxford, and a Royal Society Wolfson Research Fellow:13

“… some of these variants could be more transmissible, but the truth is … even with a marginal increase in transmissibility … that does not have much of a material effect or difference in how we deal with the virus. In other words, the surge of the virus cannot be ascribed to a new variant …

The other question is are these variants more virulent, and the truth is we don’t know, but it is unlikely because the data don’t seem to say so despite the scary headlines … Pathogens tend to evolve toward lower virulence … because that maximizes their transmissibility … It is much more probable that these strains will not be materially so different that we would have to alter our policies.”

So, according to Gupta, even if the new strains of COVID are more transmissible, it is highly unlikely that they are more lethal. Here’s more on the topic from diagnostic pathologist Dr. Clare Craig, who provides a more technical explanation:14

“SARS-CoV-2 genetic sequence has ~30,000 letters. Alterations in a handful of letters will not change it’s shape much — if it did it wouldn’t function properly anyway. Fear mongering about immune escape is not needed and is irresponsible especially when no evidence to support the claims.”

In essence, Craig is saying the same thing we said earlier, that the slight mutations to the infection will not impact the immune reaction of people who already had the virus. Thus, the current crop of “variants” should not be a cause for alarm. If you have already had COVID or if you already have prior immunity due to previous exposure to similar infections, (SARS, for example) the new strain should not be a problem.

It should also not be a problem if the new vaccines provide the type of broad-based immunity that one should expect of them. Again, the mutations represent only the slightest change in the composition of the pathogen (less than 1%), which means that — if the vaccines don’t work — they are, in effect, useless.

Media Misstating Science to Terrify the Public

Here’s a longer explanation that some readers might find overly technical and perhaps tedious, but it’s worth wading through in order to see that the media is deliberately misstating the science to terrify the public. This excerpt is from an article by Yeadon. Here’s what he said:15

“The idea is planted in people’s mind that this virus is mutating in such a way as to evade prior immunity. This is completely unfounded, certainly as regards immunity … (that is) gained naturally, after repelling the virus … It’s important to appreciate that upon infection, the human immune system cuts up an infectious agent into short pieces.

Each of these short pieces of protein are presented to other cells in the immune system, like an identity parade … These have a range of functions. Some make antibodies & others are programmed to kill cells infected by the virus, recognized by displaying on their surface signals that tell the body that they’ve been invaded.

In almost all cases … this smart adaptive system overcomes the infection. Crucially … this event leaves you with many different kinds of long-lived ‘memory’ cells which, if you’re infected again, rapidly wipe out any attempt at reinfection.

So, you won’t again be made ill by the same virus, and because the virus is simply not permitted to replicate, you are also no longer able to participate in transmission … The general ‘direction of travel’ (for viruses) is to become less injurious but easier to transmit, eventually joining the other 40 or so viruses which cause what we collectively term ‘the common cold.’

What generally doesn’t happen is for mutants to become more lethal to the hosts (us). But the key point I wanted to get across is just how large SARS-COV-2 is. I recall it’s of the order of 30,000 letters of genetic code which, when translated, make around 10,000 amino acids in several viral proteins.

Now you can see that the kinds of numbers of changes in the letters of the genetic code are truly tiny in comparison with the whole. 30 letter changes might be roughly 0.1% of the virus’s code. In other words, 99.9% of that code is not different from the so-called Wuhan strain.

Similarly, the changes in the protein translated from those letter code alterations are overwhelmed by the vast majority of the unchanged protein sequences. So your immune system, recognizing as it does perhaps dozens of short pieces … will not be fooled by a couple of small changes to a tiny fraction of these.

No: your immune system knows immediately that this is an invader it’s seen before, and has no difficulty whatsoever in dealing with it swiftly & without symptoms. So, it’s a scientifically invalid …

… even if mutations did change a couple of these, the majority of the pieces … of the mutated virus will still be unchanged & recognized by the vaccine-immune system or the virus-infected immune system & a prompt, vigorous response will still protect you.”

Why Are Public Health Officials and the Media Lying?

Let’s summarize: We have presented the informed views of three reputable scientists all of who explicitly refute the idea that the so called “variants:”

Are more lethal

Have the potential to reinfect people who have already had COVID

Have mutated enough to reinfect people who have already been vaccinated (unless, of course) the vaccine does not provide broad-based immunity to begin with (which is possible since Phase 3 long-term trials were never conducted).

So, why are the public health officials and the media lying about this matter, which is fairly clear-cut and uncontroversial? That is the question.

Yeadon concludes that there is something flagrantly diabolical about their denial. He thinks they are lying in order to dupe more people into getting injected with a substance that will either render them infertile, cause them great bodily harm or kill them outright. Take your pick. Here’s more:16

“The eugenicists have got hold of the levers of power and this is a really artful way of getting you to line-up and receive some unspecified thing that will damage you. I have no idea what it will actually be, but it won’t be a vaccine because you don’t need one. And it won’t kill you on the end of the needle because you would spot that.

It could be something that will produce normal pathology, it will be at various times between vaccination and the event, it will be plausibly deniable because there will be something else going on in the world at that time, in the context of which your demise, or that of your children will look normal.

That’s what I would do if I wanted to get rid of 90 or 95% of the world’s population. And I think that’s what they’re doing.”

“The eugenicists have got hold of the levers of power?” Has Yeadon gone mad?

Has the pressure of the global pandemic pushed him off the deep end or is he “on to something” big, something that no one even dares to even think about; a plan so dark and sinister that its implementation would constitute the most grievous and coldblooded crime against humanity of all time; the injection of billions of people with a toxic elixir whose spike protein dramatically compromises their immune systems clearing the way for agonizing widespread suffering followed by mountains of carnage?

There are others, however, who see a connection between the current vaccination campaign and “the eugenicists.” In fact, Dr. Joseph Mercola points to the link between the lead developer of the AstraZeneca vaccine, Adrian Hill, and the Eugenics movement. According to Mercola:

“Hill gave a lecture at the Galton Institute (which was known as the U.K. Eugenics Society) in 2008 for its 100-year anniversary. As noted in Webb’s article:17

‘Arguably most troubling of all is the direct link of the vaccine’s lead developers to the Wellcome Trust and, in the case of Adrian Hill, the Galton Institute, two groups with longstanding ties to the UK eugenics movement.

The latter organization, named for the ‘father of eugenics’ Francis Galton, is the renamed U.K. Eugenics Society, a group notorious for over a century for its promotion of racist pseudoscience and efforts to ‘improve racial stock’ by reducing the population of those deemed inferior.

The ties of Adrian Hill to the Galton Institute should raise obvious concerns given the push to make the Oxford-AstraZeneca vaccine he developed with [Sarah] Gilbert the vaccine of choice for the developing world, particularly countries in Latin America, South and Southeast Asia, and Africa, the very areas where the Galton Institute’s past members have called for reducing population growth …

Emeritus professor of molecular genetics at the Galton Institute and one of its officers is none other than David J. Galton, whose work includes ‘Eugenics: The Future of Human Life in the 21st Century.’

David Galton has written that the Human Genome Mapping Project… had ‘enormously increased … the scope for eugenics … because of the development of a very powerful technology for the manipulation of DNA.’

This new ‘wider definition of eugenics,’ Galton has said, ‘would cover methods of regulating population numbers as well as improving genome quality by selective artificial insemination by donor, gene therapy or gene manipulation of germ-line cells.’ In expanding on this new definition, Galton is neutral as to ‘whether some methods should be made compulsory by the state, or left entirely to the personal choice of the individual.

… The Wellcome Centre regularly cofunds the research and development of vaccines and birth control methods with … a foundation (name withheld) that actively and admittedly engages in population and reproductive control in Africa and South Asia by, among other things, prioritizing the widespread distribution of injectable long-acting reversible contraceptives (LARCs).

The Wellcome Trust has also directly funded studies that sought to develop methods to ‘improve uptake’ of LARCs in places such as rural Rwanda…’ LARCs afford women in the Global South ‘the least choice possible short of actual sterilization.’

Some LARCs can render women infertile for as long as five years, and, as Levich argues, they ‘leave far more control in the hands of providers, and less in the hands of women, than condoms, oral contraceptives, or traditional methods.’

… Slightly modified and rebranded as Jadelle, the dangerous drug was promoted in Africa … Formerly named the Sterilization League for Human Betterment, EngenderHealth’s original mission, inspired by racial eugenics, was to ‘improve the biological stock of the human race.’”

Does Eugenics Factor Into the mRNA Vaccine?

So, how does “eugenics” factor into the creation and distribution of the mRNA vaccine? Is there a link or are we grasping at straws? We can’t answer that question, but a recent article by Mathew Ehret at Off-Guardian provides a few interesting clues. Here’s what he said:18

“The fact that the organizations promoting the rise of this eugenics policy throughout Nazi Germany and North America included such powerhouses as the Rockefeller Foundation, the Wellcome Trust and the Human Sterilization League for Human Betterment … which have all taken leading roles in the World Health Organization over recent decades is more than a little concerning.

The fact that these eugenics organizations simply re-branded themselves after WWII and are now implicated in modern RNA vaccine development alongside the Galton Institute (formerly British Eugenics Association), Oxford’s AstraZeneca, Pfizer and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation should give any serious thinker pause as we consider what patterns of history we are willing to tolerate repeating in our presently precarious age.”

We’ll end this piece with an excerpt from a 2010 article by Andrew Gavin Marshall at Global Research, who presciently noted that:19

“Eugenics is about the social organization and control of humanity … (particularly) population control …

The ideas of Malthus, and later Herbert Spencer and Charles Darwin were remolded into branding an elite ideology of ‘Social Darwinism,’ which was ‘the notion that in the struggle to survive in a harsh world, many humans were not only less worthy, many were actually destined to wither away as a rite of progress. To preserve the weak and the needy was, in essence, an unnatural act.’

This theory simply justified the immense wealth, power and domination of a small elite over the rest of humanity, as that elite saw themselves as the only truly intelligent beings worthy of holding such power and privilege.

Francis Galton later coined the term “eugenics” to describe this emerging field. His followers believed that the ‘genetically unfit’ ‘would have to be wiped away,’ using tactics such as ‘segregation, deportation, castration, marriage prohibition, compulsory sterilization, passive euthanasia — and ultimately extermination’ …

Sir Julian Huxley was also a life trustee of the British Eugenics Society from 1925, and its President from 1959-62 … ‘Huxley believed that eugenics would one day be seen as the way forward for the human race,’ and that, ‘A catastrophic event may be needed for evolution to move at an accelerated pace’ … It is much the same with ideas whose time has not yet come; they must survive periods when they are not generally welcome.

The 21st-century technologies are so powerful that they can spawn whole new classes of accidents and abuses. Most dangerously, for the first time, these accidents and abuses are widely within the reach of individuals or small groups.

They will not require large facilities or rare raw materials. Knowledge alone will enable the use of them … I think it is no exaggeration to say we are on the cusp of the further perfection of extreme evil, an evil whose possibility spreads well beyond that which weapons of mass destruction bequeathed to the nation-states, on to a surprising and terrible empowerment of extreme individuals.

… Due to improved techniques the elite will have greater control over the masses; and because human work will no longer be necessary the masses will be superfluous, a useless burden on the system.

If the elite is ruthless they may simply decide to exterminate the mass of humanity. If they are humane they may use propaganda or other psychological or biological techniques to reduce the birth rate until the mass of humanity becomes extinct, leaving the world to the elite …

A horrifying vision indeed; but one which builds upon the ideas of Huxley, Russell and Brzezinski, who envisioned a people who — through biological and psychological means – are made to love their own servitude. Huxley saw the emergence of a world in which humanity, still a wild animal, is domesticated; where only the elite remain wild and have freedom to make decisions, while the masses are domesticated like pets.

Huxley opined that, ‘Men and women will grow up to love their servitude and will never dream of revolution. There seems to be no good reason why a thoroughly scientific dictatorship should ever be overthrown.’”

We must ask ourselves whether the current mass vaccination campaign is a science-based effort to relieve sickness and disease or a fast-track to a dark and frightening dystopia conjured up by evil men seeking to tighten their grip on all humanity?

SOURCE

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wingsofhcpe · 3 years

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Slightly related to my previous post. Thread of what's happening in Greece:

(Feel free to share, it's greatly appreciated but it's not required)

The government is going to repeal a section of our constitution that has to do with workers' rights, effectively making it possible for the employer to work their staff to literal death, since they won't be restrained by the 8 hour rule any longer.

It also means the bosses can have them work without being paid, have their rights taken away, and if the employees complain they will be getting fired.

The government is implied to have orchestrated the murder of a journalist who was openly speaking out against their actions.

Cops broke a 13 yo's arm because "they suspected he was selling drugs". The kid was a white citizen of Greece btw.

Cops roam the streets fully armed and without their masks and without keeping any of the pandemic safety measures, but they will beat up any citizen to a bloody pulp if they judge the citizen is the one breaking safety measures.

Cops are invading our universities and arresting any student for literally NO REASON if they suspect the student is left-leaning.

Our hospitals are full; patients are lying on the hospital corridors or sitting in chairs. There are no more ICUs available for covid patients at public hospitals.

We're being vaccinated slowly, because the government officials keeps snatching the vaccines for themselves and their friends & families. My mum will, at best, be vaccinated at the end of May, and people my age won't be vaccinated until Winter.

Govt said "fuck it" and opened everything (except unis and restaurants) even though we have an average rate of 4k covid cases every day and 100 dead people every day. This doesn't sound like much if you compare it to like the US or Canada, but our population is 11 million people. So with that in mind, that's a lot, and it's scary.

The government is controlling the media to the point where we aren't getting news outside of Greece. What I mean is: recently someone from Holland made a documentary about some greek border guards killing and unarmed refugee in cold blood. That's true, and we know it happened, iirc it's even recorded on camera. And yet our government has paid all news channels to say that "it never happened and the Dutch just want to make us look bad to affect our tourism rates".

What little rights lgbt+ people have here, may be taken away.

Tldr I'm living through a literal junta and I'm terrified please get me out of here.

#to quoth the raven #greece #greek news #this is a broken country that has already burned to the ground and YET things always get worse #im scared

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littlelightingstriker · 4 years

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Disclaimer: this post is not made to cause anger or to insult the Serbian government, it is simply made to report on the news what has been going this past days. Some of the information might be to strong, so please read on your own risk. People who are mention in this story will remain anonymous for their own safety.

#Serbia now:

On the 7th of July,2020, president Vučić announced that Belgrade will be closed and have a curfew between Friday and Monday and that more than five people should not be in the same space together. He talked about a lot of things like how many people are being tested, the possible 'lies' the government has been saying, Novi Pazar, a city located in south-west Serbia, who is in a critical situation because of COVID-19, respirators and many more. He talked about how people need to understand that this virus in not a joke in any possible way and people need to take more action and protect themselves and their family. The problem is half of the population does not believe the virus is either real or that it does not have the affect to enter the human body that fast. People are confused and keep asking the same question that nobody can answer. When he announced the possibility that people will have to stay the whole weekend in their homes, many people were frustrated with the decision and did not want to take his words for real. At the evening, massive numbers of people gathered at the National Assembly and started protesting. The protesting was not in anyway ' peaceful ' but ended being a disappointing vandalism.

Three cars and a police van were on fire. The damage was immediately posted. Hundreds of thousands of dinars are worth of damage.

Torches, tear gas, oysters and glass bottles were being thrown between the protesters and police.

Many people were injured and many police man were hurt. "It was a disaster. We tried stopping them but there were to many." said one policeman.

One of the protesters wanted to break in the National Assembly but were thrown out by the police.

Two men stopped an ambulance that was driving to the hospital with rotations. The two men were punished for their actions and many were disappointed with them.

Protesters DID NOT WANT any politician to join them and act like they care for citizens' rights.

Ana Brnabić was disappointed to see citizens' of Belgrade acting like 'h**li**ns'.

Kosovo was/is also another reason why people turned against Vučić.

Vučić was in the National Assembly but quickly evacuated with the situation going around.

A video of three men being hit and be*ten by the police after rejecting to leave the park was filmed and posted on different sites. The three men were laying on the ground in pain as the police left them.

A man, lost his father due to COVID 19 and blamed the government for lying about having enough respirators. He claimed his father was not given the treatment that was promised and was one of the most critical patient (and many other) in Belgrade. "This is for you, dad. I know you are watching and you are proud. I love you,dad. This is for you!" Said the man. After this video resurfaced the internet, everyone was angry that president Vučić lied about 'having enough respirators' and many left comments that they were not surprised and what a disappointment this country is for believing the words that come from the television.

Protesters are being accused of spreading COVID 19.

97% had masks but still did not distance.

Lockdown will be decided by the crisis staff.

The 8th and 9th of July,2020:

President Vučić has decided he will NOT make the decision about Belgrade. He admitted he has no right to make a decision he isn't to sure how to control.

Many faces were supporting the protest and they were not citizens' of Serbia. -Vučić.

Criminals were mention that they were the ones who were 'trashing' Belgrade.

COVID 19 has no connection with voting, football games etc.

Vučić kept bringing people down while making his people 'world leaders' and 'only hopes for Serbia'.

05.10.2000. is a wish protesters want to come true. ( The fall of Milošević)

Vučić is in shock why people keep bringing his country down while he is doing everything to make it 'grow'.

There will be rules for Belgrade no matter what.

Novi Sad, Niš, Kragujevac also started protesting.

Tonight (9th July.) protesters are peacefuly protesting and tend to keep it that way.

Politicians are calling out h**li*ga*ns and cri**na** after 'destroying Belgrade' and doing vandalism 'on purpose'.

Many people are angry that Belgrade is being in the situation where it's not safe anymore and being trashed by some idiots who don't even live there or came from a different city. They are accused of 'pretending to be Belgraders'. It is proven that they are more than 80% Belgraders in the world then in the own city. Belgrade is composed from all citizens' across Serbia.

Students are protesting after being told they have to leave their dorms for the third time because they need to be prepared for COVID 19 patients. "We don't feel safe. We want our rights!".

Protesters are being called out for fighting for their rights.

Politicians are calling protesters 'criminal slaves' for wanting to remove Vučić.

"We aren't allowed to stand for our rights. They tend to keep us locked when we thought everything is going undercontrol. They are playing for our rights. I lost my friend because she was told to stay home even though she had other medical problems. Instead of celebrating her birthday, I was mourning her name and crying. He (Vučić) doesn't care about us, he just wants the money. He has it. He is building Belgrade on Dunabe and he still thinks we care about some stupid project. How are we not going to protest? I do not like and I am against harmful and disgusting behaviour some people showed the first day and even now, but we can't just stand here and pretend everything is okay. He stole votes and as soon as he secured his seat, this country got even worse. How are we suppose to live here? How can we try and stay positive after everything he has done. My family lives in Kosovo. He gave it. He just sold that land like nothing. He doesn't care about people. He acts like a human but even the facade can't cover his personality. No one can look up to us and that's okay. We don't want '99 again. We want peace. We all want, all of us, we want to breath not to feel pressured. We tell our kids to get the hell away from this country and to never look back. There is no future here. We all know that. He always breaks his promises. Kids grow up and become adults, what children is he talking about?! Where is their future if he is only building Belgrade? What about the South? East? West? Where are their rights?! We are all equal and we all deserve so much more. We have to pray and hope for the best, but in this life we are always going to be left down. " a woman gave her thoughts about protesting.

Other reason's why people want to dismiss Vučić:

He promised everyone 100 Euros when COVID 19 became serious in Serbia. He realised his mistake and ended up giving the money to retired people and people with special needs. Other had to register. He went from helping to you have to do this so I don't embarrass myself.

People were paid to come and cheer for Vučić when he would give speeches.

He lied about the respirators.

People believe that the number of positive patients fell just so that elections could happen.

After elections, Serbia became the worst in numbers of positive cases.

Before elections 50-94 cases, 10-20 respirator patients, almost everyone is cured, Serbia is almost done with COVID 19.

After elections 300+ cases, 120-130 respirator patients, 1000+ in hospitals, 1000+ in isolation, Serbia the most critical on Balkan.

He knew Novi Pazar was going to blow up. He did not do anything.

Belgrade hospitals do not have respirators.

Belgrade has a population of 1 million residents and yet doesn't have the medical needs.

He doesn't have a full government. What kind of country is Serbia then?!

Something that cannot be answered:

Why do people who die from other reasons are COVID 19 victims?

How come the number of cases grew?

Did the government lied all this time?

Was professor Kon right all this time?

Why are people not in hospitals if positive?

How to isolate if you do not have your own bathroom and kitchen?

Why are there no punishments for not wearing a mask?

Is there really a vaccine?

Is the virus real? Is it possible to make it disappear?

Opinion:

Vandalism is not the answer. People have every right to judge Vučić. He is not that bad, but he is not a sweetheart either. Luckily people are peacefully protesting and want to learn to have manners. The police is trying everything to not fight the protesters. Punishing other people for the damage is not right. Being called disgusting names from politicians needs to STOP! We are all people with a heart, we say and do things we should not but that is not the point. Being called a cri**na* is disgusting. Everyone is frustrated with the virus going on but we have to be reasonable. If you are someone who lost a loved one due to COVID 19, my heart goes for you and everyone you love and care about. This is a scary year. It's breaking my heart so many people died not only because of COVID 19. The virus is not the main problem here. People are. This going on in Belgrade is eye opening. It shows people want a break. They want freedom. They want, like every other country, to feel safe. I totally understand the point of view from some people. I ,too, also know there is no future in Serbia until someone really comes and actually cares for people. If territory and fake promises are more relevant then a person breathing, my God save us.

Comment's about Vučić

We are a small country and we never were known for good things, but honestly, how can we have that if we don't have a leader?

Lies and lies. Breaking promises. Being disgusted with people that don't like your way of ''handling" a country. Manipulate people and bringing them down. Having politicians spit on your people?

Is that a joke or is Vučić going to take this seriously.

Kosovo is more important than people?

How cruel do you have to be?

How disgusting that sounds.

We are told people are dying for God's sake and yet you talk for 2 hours and that is it.

Tito is rolling in his grave.

Liar!

Why does anyone expect something good from Vučić?

Oh Serbia, poor little Serbia.

- comments from different sources.

For more information of these protests, feel free to look them up. I gave my personal opinion and I missed a lot of information about this protests but I shared the ones that needed to be put here.

If you are someone from Serbia, feel free to speak and to be free. If you wanted a change and did not get it, either run or keep blessing this country. You deserve much more. You'll get past everything. Keep running. Fight peacefully. Be normal and be mature. I wish everyone so much and pray everyday we get some peace and actually feel like people.

Don't look up to politicians. Nušić told us everything we need to know.

Be safe while protesting! Keep yourself safe and don't let a politician ruin your life. Bring back the rights and the light we all need.

Bring Serbia where she should be.

Not underneath.

#serbia #protesting #safe #people #equal rights #belgrade #news #hope

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tryingtostartallover · 3 years

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Chapter 13

Hello, this is the story that you're about to read of how my now two ex-friends that I have known for 3 and 9 years backstabbed and ditch me during my move while I was having a mental breakdown. The question that I have am I the asshole in this story? Last year during the pandemic, I was thinking about what I want to do with my life. I decided that I wanted to move out of state, and I picked Florida. I told my now ex-friends C and N that I was planning on moving to Florida ( I don't want to use their actual names, so Im just using their first name initials ). At first, they were really happy for me,,, and they volunteered to help me move my stuff into my apartment when I do move. Moving to Florida was exciting but also scary because I have no friends or family down there but I wanted a change in my life. A year later,,, I got a job offer down here and I finally told them the goods news. We were super excited because I worked really hard to move,, and it was finally going to happened. We talked how much fun we were going to have and how this will be a smooth move. That did not happen matter of fact,,, the exact opposite happened. On the day of the move,,, which was June 20th, we had a 12-hour drive ahead of us; we planned on leaving at 7 am. Ex-friend N showed up thirty minutes late... I shrugged it off because it wasn't a big deal. We got to Florida in the evening time .Ex-Friend N does hair,,, and she told me that she had a client that booked her. Then she asks me can the client come to my apartment so she can do her hair. At first, I didn't feel comfortable with this because I didn't want a stranger into my apartment,,,,,,,,, especially I haven't seen the apartment yet in person. I was trying to be nice,, and I told her yes,, that was fine. We spent the night at the Airbnb because the apartment wouldn't be ready until the next day,, which was my birthday.

The morning of the move-in day,, we stopped by the gas station to get some light snacks before we start by moving my stuff in. Before we left,,, I told them that after we get everything moved in,, I wanted to get my hair done because we planned to go downtown to celebrate my birthday later in the evening. They told me that they were okay with it and it wasn't a problem. We get to the apartment,,,,, and it was completely fucked up. The patio screen was broken to the point it was hanging over the balcony. They were what it looks like a wasp or a hornet's nest on the patio door. The floor had paint on them, the ac filter needed to be changed, the walls were dirty, the shower looked like some type of mold in the corners. The door stopper was broken,, and underneath the fridge, it was filthy. I was pissed off,, but I had to return the rental car,,,, so I said I'll deal with issues the tomorrow morning. Ex-Friend C went with me to drop off the rental car,,, and we stopped by Wal- Mart to buy some things for the apartment. I bought them groceries,,, and I bought Ex- friend C an air mattress so she wouldn't be sleeping on the floor. After we came back from the store,,, I took a quick shower and headed off to get my hair done . I got my hair done,, and picked them up from the apartment to go to downtown. We got a quick bite to eat and did a ghost tour that I paid for the three of us to do. During the tour Ex- friend N started to complain. They were a girl in the group who kept coughing a lot, and ex-friend N felt uncomfortable and said she didn't want to do the tour anymore. She said she was afraid of getting covid even though she was already fully vaccinated and had her mask on her,,,, but I brushed it off. I told her she could wait for us when we're done with the tour, and we'll get her. Ex-friend C stayed with me until the tour was over. We went to the bar,,, and they were having a comedy show; the three of us were sitting in the booth. One of the comedians looks at us and ask us what we were doing tonight, and I said,, celebrating my birthday. The comedian proceeds to say " Oh did you get any birthday dick from your boyfriend''? Ex-Friend N lifted her head and the comedian said "oh never mind,,,,,,, that's a girl. "

Ex-friend N was super pissed off about the joke, and when we left, she want a huge rant about how much she hated black men ,because the guy was black, she kept saying that black men are disgusting, nasty, rude, and that they were all perverts, and this is why she only dates white guys. She is black too,, so I was really offended by this,, but I didn't want to say anything to make her more upset than she already was. We went back to my apartment, and that's when shit hit the fan. My apartment had roaches,,,,,,,,.,,,,, and I was trying to move my stuff away, but my two ex-friends ad didn't help me. Instead, they went on a rant about how this was a major inconvenience for them and that they're getting a hotel together without including me. I was in the room hearing them saying how they had other things to pay for, and that they weren't planning to spend money on a hotel. I offered to pay the hotel for them because I felt bad, but they told me no, don't worry about it. The next morning ex-friend N went with me to the rental office to talk about the apartment. After that we went back to the apartment , ex-friend C ask me if I wanted to put my stuff away I told her no. I said I'll wait for them to come to spray the apartment down before I put things away but I said no .because I don't want the roaches to get into my stuff and I;ll wait for pest control to come. Ex-friend C said she wanted to go to Starbucks and ex-friend N said she wanted to take a short hike. I said, that's fine; I'll do some exploring on my own. I picked up Ex-friend N from the park an hour later. I told her that I was mentally drained and exhausted and wanted to be by myself for a bit. She told me that she understood and was okay with that. I asked her what time did she need to be picked up from the hotel. She told me to get her and her ex-friend C around 3 pm. I then asked her were they planning on staying there for the rest of the day. She told me that they would chill at the hotel for a bit, and I said okay.

We went back to the apartment, and I told ex-friend C the same thing that I told ex-friend N. She said okay, and she said that she wanted to stay at the apartment to read her book. Ex friend N said she also wanted to stay to do some work . I asked them if they were okay and if they needed anything they told me no , they were fine to waiting at the apartment . At 3 pm they called me to come to get them to take them to the hotel. When they got into the car, I can already feel that there is tension. I apologize for not being in a good and that I was sorry. Ex-Friend N said with the nastiest attitude that quote,, " Nobody said anything or mention anything about it." I shrug it off at first because I was driving,,, and it started to pour down rain really hard, so I wanted to focus on the road. I asked her what time she needed me to take her to the airport because she was leaving the next day. She then said she'll take the metro because it will be more chill. She then tells me that she made soup and use my cooking wear . I said that was fine but then she says she didn't wash the dishes. I asked her why and she said because she wasn't sure if I would be okay with her going trough my stuff to get the cleaning supplies even though cleaning supplies were next to the cook wear . To me it doesn't make sense because if you already touch my stuff to cook then you should had cleaned it but she was being lazy and a bitch .Then out of nowhere she goes on to say that she felt like a taxi driver the whole-trip and that she felt like they didn't help me move. She proceeds to say that I abandon them in the apartment and that I was a bad friend for leaving them there. And that I should be grateful that they offer to help because nobody else would. She keeps verbally attacking me while ex-friend C is quietly watching the whole thing. Ex friend N continued gaining up on me and said that she was upset cause they didn't get to decorate my apartment or have fun on her last day. I told her I don't want to put anything because of the roaches; she said that it's not a big deal and that she lived with roaches for 14 months in her old apartment,, and dealt with it so should I . Ex friend C said everyone's first apartment is always shitty and that I shouldn't be upset of messed up my apartment was. She also said that I abandon both of them and joined ex friend N side. I finally snapped at them, which I shouldn't have,, but I was overwhelmed, and had hit my breaking point. Ex friend N said she not coming back to visit me and that it's all my fault that I had ruined their trip and I ended things on a sour note with them. I began crying and sobbing really bad while they were getting out of the car without saying a word to me . Ex friend C texted me later that night said that she's leaving with ex friend N originally she was supposed to leave on Thursday . She texted me " good luck on the apartment let me know how it goes''. I was super pissed off by this , this was the biggest fuck you I ever got in my life. You were suppose to be my friend but you ditch me while I was having a breakdown and then have the nerve to say good luck. I came back to the apartment and saw the dirty dishes and open food cans on my countertop I was done. In the heat of the moment I sent Ex friend N a voice message saying that I was done being her friend , I said that she was selfish , rude and I was disgusted by her actions especially her rant on black men. I blocked and deleted her off of everything and haven't talk to her since. At first I was sad about ending the friendship because I known her for three years but I don't want to be friends with someone like that .

Then two weeks some of my friends from VA came down to visit me. I told the whole story about what had happened. I still couldn't had cut ties with ex friend C yet because I was debating if I wanted to stay friends or not because I known her for 9 years and I didn't want to throw away the friendship . My friend suggested that I reach out to her to talk it out and so I did. I texted her that I wanted to talk about what had happened and that I was still upset and felt like she got mad at me for no reason. She sent sent a long text that she drove over 800 miles in the hot humid weather to help me move and she tried her best to be good friend to me and said that she wouldn't make that mistake again. She said I left them in the apartment . In her text she stated that it sucked that I wasn't over the situation but she had already move on from it. She said that I ruined their chance of having fun together .

At the end of her text she said it was best for us to part ways that she doesn't regret almost none of our time together . I cried at first while reading because I was hurt , I was trying to be the bigger person to solve the issue but she decided to run from it. I found out that she blocked and me off of everything which hurt even worse. I realize now that they were never my friends they were fake. They proved me to that they are selfish , toxic , cowards and only care for themselves . I paid for gas all the way down and they never offer to help pay for that and I paid for the rental car as well. I tried my best to accommodate whatever they needed but in the end I felt like I got taken advantage of and used. They used my move as a fun trip but realize things weren't going of what they wanted so they left when shit got hard. Im moving on with my life and Im glad that they are out of my life now.

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anakinsbugs · 4 years

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The Blogfather

New Post has been published on https://walrusvideo.com/the-blogfather/

The Blogfather

He wasn’t an Arsenal fan, but he was at the 1971 FA Cup final. I wasn’t born yet (I didn’t arrive until September of that double winning year), but he saw Charlie George score that winner and lie flat on his back on the Wembley turf to celebrate.

Like so many of his generation, he came to England from Ireland to find work in the late 1950s, and I’m sure my love of football came from him. There was always a ball, always a kick-around in the garden, or on the front lawn of the castle we lived in for a while (honestly, it was a castle).

Back then you could just go to a football match. Rock up on a Saturday, and pay your way into the ground depending on who was at home. He lived and worked in West London, and nominally he was a Fulham fan. He loved Johnny Haynes, but he was a huge admirer of Jimmy Greaves too. He liked players who could do things with both feet, and he went to matches all over the city, just because he could.

Some of my earliest memories are of him playing football. He started life as a forward (like my brother), but by the time I came along and he was togging out for the village team in Bishopthorpe (near York), he’d moved back to centre-half (where I played my whole life). I’d stand on the sidelines with my mam. I don’t remember the games or the performances, just the fact that I was there and so was he.

He was pretty strict when we were young. I think it was because he had very clear ideas about what young men should and shouldn’t do. They should look smart, for example, and definitely not wear jeans. They really shouldn’t watch Grange Hill, because those children were basically juvenile delinquents and didn’t respect figures of authority sufficiently.

He worked a lot though, so it was often drive-by stuff. He spent most his working life in the hospitality industry – bars, restaurants, hotels. Long hours, late nights.

Once, in the back garden, I was winding my brother up, as big brothers do. He reached breaking point and unleashed a wave of expletives that would have made a sailor blush. Dad, probably trying to get a bit of rest upstairs, heard everything, stuck his head out the bedroom window and it was the most trouble any little boy has ever been in before or since. I felt bad, and I bought Tim some Cadbury’s Creme Eggs to say sorry.

In 1996 he was away on a golf trip in Spain and fell ill. Cardiomyopathy. The prognosis was not good. He needed a heart transplant. In the mists of time it feels like it happened quickly, but it didn’t. He spent months and months gravely unwell, in and out of hospital, but in the end they took his actual heart out and put someone else’s in.

It’s basically a miracle, isn’t it?

When you think about it, it’s absolutely crazy, but as I said at his eulogy, it changed his life and it saved his life. He became a fierce advocate for organ donation. He helped found the Irish Heart and Lung Transplant Association, and he went onto to chair the European Heart and Lung Transplant Federation. He wanted to ensure as many people as possible could benefit from the incredible medical advancements, and the work carried out by doctors and transplant teams.

As you might imagine, that kind of thing gives you a new perspective on life. He was certainly mellower post-transplant, but it coincided with us reaching a stage of adult life where your relationship with your parents changes anyway. We did a lot of stuff together. Golf, pints, dinners, holidays, even the Arsenal.

I don’t know if the trip we took to London was specifically to see a game, or if it coincided with something else, but he came with me to the Emirates to see us play in the Champions League. We played PSV and a late goal from on-loan Chelsea defender Alex saw us crash out. Not exactly a stellar night on the pitch, but it was still a good one off it. We had post-game pints in The Tollington, he met many of the Arseblog crew, and he often talked about how much he enjoyed it.

He loved Arseblog and what it became. He’d read most days. He’d say ‘Some of those chaps on the Arses are a bit fruity, aren’t they?!’. He even listened to a podcast, impressed and somewhat astonished with how often, and with such variation, Ian Wright said my name.

He hadn’t been well for a couple of weeks. I took him to the doctors on February 1st. She told me she was worried about his kidneys. Years of anti-rejection and immuno-suppressant drugs take their toll. Blood test results came back that afternoon. He needed to be in hospital.

I remember him waving to us from the ambulance before it pulled away, his big overcoat pulled tightly around him on a cold evening. Over the next couple of weeks he was treated for the infection, he was getting there, but slowly.

On Monday February 15th I got a phone call from a doctor. He’d been unwell, so they ran more tests. One of them was for Covid-19. It came back positive. We spent a year doing everything we could to keep him safe during the pandemic, and somehow he picked it up in the Coronary Care Unit of a hospital.

Yet over the next week, he didn’t really develop any of the major symptoms. On Monday February 22nd he called from his bed, we spoke about him coming home. He couldn’t wait to get back to his chair, in front of the fire, to watch golf and CNN. We wondered how strong he’d be, what care he might need. How we might have to adapt the house. Downstairs bedroom, stairlift, that kind of thing.

Then … day 10. Covid hit.

Did you ever get winded? It’s scary, isn’t it? Those few seconds where you can’t catch your breath. Imagine that all the time. He needed oxygen, then more oxygen, then all the oxygen it’s possible to give someone.

We were lucky in that we were allowed in to see him. We got to talk to him. That will always be a comfort, but seeing your dad on his own in a six bed ward, surrounded by and attached to machines, struggling to breathe is brutal. You want to help somehow, but you can’t.

We were clad in so much PPE, gown, masks, goggles, gloves, that he thought we were doctors at first. Maybe that’s why he told ‘them’ he didn’t want to die in hospital.

He died in hospital … in the early hours of March 2nd.

He’d been through so much. The heart transplant, he beat a lung cancer situation, he had an ongoing prostate cancer situation, but he couldn’t beat this. He was 84 and he’d lived a good life, but it doesn’t make it any easier to see someone you love die like that.

I’m not going to preach to anyone, but I can only urge you to be cautious. I know we’re all fed up with restrictions and life being the way it is. I know there is light at the end of the tunnel as vaccines are being rolled out, but this virus is still out there and it’s still dangerous. The most vulnerable among us are still loved and cherished family members and friends. Please don’t lose sight of that amid frustration, we all have a responsibility to each other. Someone’s age or their underlying condition doesn’t make them expendable.

Be careful. Look after each other. Each one of those statistics released daily is a real person, with many more left behind. Wash your hands. Wear a mask – at worst it’s a mild inconvenience, at best it saves lives, maybe even your own. Get the vaccine when you can.

My daughter, who I haven’t seen in person for over a year now, couldn’t get home for her grandad’s funeral. The funeral at which only ten people were allowed. That’s not how we do things in Ireland. There was no wake, no telling of stories about the one just gone. The laughs you have at events like that seem incongruous to the situation, but they’re a big part of how get through it.

Like so many other families over this last 12 months, we were apart at a time when we needed to be together. Just a couple of weeks previously my big cousin Adrian, a Gooner and only a few years older than I am, was taken by Covid too. He wasn’t elderly, he wasn’t high risk. I had to ring my dad in hospital and tell him, and while the staff in there were so lovely, he had nobody to share that grief with in person.

The support mechanisms we have in place to cope with things like this aren’t there any more. There are very obvious impacts of Covid on our lives, but there are malingering ones which I don’t think we’ll come to understand for some time yet.

Whatever nurses are paid, they deserve twice that, and more. They are amazing. They don’t need to be clapped, they need to be paid properly. You might not need them now, so perhaps they don’t register, but there will come a time when you will, and they will be amazing for you and your family too.

They shouldn’t have to fight for the compensation they deserve. We should be fighting for them. We should be angry on their behalf. Fight for healthcare.

Pay them properly.

My dad was an amazing man. Really funny, kind, generous, a good person who was the linchpin of our family, and we’re going to miss him terribly. He was well cool too, I mean, look at that 1960s shades/rollneck action he had going on.

I’m experiencing a lot of emotions right now, and it’s going to take some time to process, as they say. Today though, I just want to remember him in a positive way. A man who had a huge influence on who am I, someone who – when I think of him – makes me smile.

It’s absolutely shit he’s not going to be around anymore, and the circumstances of his passing were deeply unpleasant. It’s been a really rough few weeks, to be honest. However, he gave me the strength to get through this, and on this Arsenal blog I’m gonna take the owner’s privilege and set myself up with a tap-in to finish.

Love you Dad, and as a wise man once said, you were f*ckin’ excellent.

The post The Blogfather appeared first on Arseblog … an Arsenal blog.

The Article The Blogfather First Appeared ON : https://arsenalweb.co.uk

The Article The Blogfather First Appeared ON : https://gqcentral.co.uk

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