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arijackz · 1 month

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PICK A CARD: Who You'll Be In 10 Years

☣︎ "“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

Disclaimer: This is a general reading, take what resonates. This is a gender-neutral reading, change any pronouns to apply to you. Also, the tense changes from past to present to future, I hope this doesn't make the reading difficult.

Also! Thank you so much to everyone who put in a paid reading request, when my life stabilizes, those will be on the top of my priority list. <3

p1 → p2 ↙︎ p3 → p4

⚠︎ Pile One ⚠︎ (5oS rev., 5oP, 8oS)

You a decade from now (or less 👀) is not afraid to walk away from a motherfucker. Kudos to you!!! POP A BOTTLE. REJOICE! 🍾🍾

You have mastered prioritizing yourself and letting go of connections that violate your boundaries.

I’m getting cat energy. Your self-concept is resolute, so you don’t care about others' perception of you. You’re willing to be seen as the “bitch” or selfish in situations because you refuse to become someone you’re not, to please another.

Your young self would consider this a nightmare. Your upbringing has groomed you to put the interests and needs of others before your own. Disharmony and people disliking you cause you so much inner turmoil (I want to throw up channeling this energy, I’m getting it makes you physically ill) that you try to avoid those dark emotions by suppressing your own needs and desires to keep the group happy.

Being subservient and sacrificing parts of you became a survival tactic. It was so deeply ingrained in your self-concept; you desperately wanted to detach from it but feared hurting anyone or being seen as selfish in the process.

This hesitancy to step on a few toes, which is an inherent requirement for elevating your own voice, gives you an illusion of being trapped and powerless against the will of others.

But baby… you ten years from now don't have time for the bullshit.

The energy here is refined; a quiet strength forged in darkness. This was not always your energy, you have some battle scars due to people-pleasing and learning the hard way that you can never satiate hunger in people who can never be full.

This pile has seen their fair share of energy demons. I meant to write “vampires” but demons came out, this could be about energetic attacks (commonly manifesting as anxious thoughts and mental blocks that did not occur before you met them) and jealous energies around you that benefitted from you thinking less of yourself.

It took you some time to find the power in your “No” and staunchly protect it. There have been times when people have disrespected your no and remained in your energy for longer than they deserved to. That’s okay, forgive yourself. I promise it’s all a part of a greater journey for you to reclaim your power.

The energy you call home ten years from now is a force to be reckoned with. The first card flip gave me chills, I was intimidated at first.

You are becoming someone whom the world makes space for. By walking away from people who want to continuously fight and provoke you or drain your resources and energy, you are telling life, “I won’t put up with people who are trying to convince me to be the backseat passenger of my own life.”

You won’t feel like a suffering supporting character anymore, you’ll be the main character people are in awe of.

Aries Northnode, Saturn, Pluto, Chiron 1st house, Mars or moon 7th house, Libra risings, Libra Mars, Libra Moon, Cancer Saturn, Cancer Mars, 6th house placements.

Your dominant colors will be black, white, and grey. For my colorful folk, you’ll stay bright and eccentric but have stark contrasts of black either with your accessories, hair, or makeup (if you do it). Regardless of your height, you’ll appear taller with perfect posture. Your collarbone/shoulder area is accentuated and eye-catching. Your head is held high and your neck acts as your lion’s mane.

Your words reverberate in the consciousness of others, you are unforgettable and your impact changes the course of the lives you interact with. You speak clearly (and at times bluntly), making your boundaries and identity unequivocal. Your voice deepens and honies with time, you are like a violin luring people to your cause. People will most compliment you on your aura and intimidating, yet magnetic presence.

I really want to emphasize the dark appearance here, it’s the classic dark feminine aesthetic with a mystical-witchy flair. I even see big hats, high boots, and round or oval glasses for some.

The strength you cultivate is admirable and is your magnum opus. Keep creating your dream you, my love! MUAH 💋

A Vixen Born in the Shadows

⚠︎ Pile Two ⚠︎ (The Hermit, 4oW, Ace of Cups)

Ex-Factor by Ms. Lauryn Hill came on, the Angels aren’t playing. Sit down, I’m about to talk your ear off (lovingly <3)

Baby, you’ve been put through the emotional wringer. Mostly in your interpersonal connections and romantic relationships.

You’ve had a cycle of emotionally immature karmic partners that were meant to reflect the insecurities within you that blocked healthy unions from forming. You subconsciously did not feel worthy of a loving partner so you settled for people who were unable to love you more than their own self-interests. Most of your old connections were made through trauma bonds and fear of abandonment.

(For some, I’m getting that your partners threatened to harm themselves or you threatened to harm yourself in case of a breakup)

Most people can’t relate to your depth. You crave a raw, soul-merging connection that can withstand you at your lowest, most difficult energy. There were moments when you either glorified or begrudgingly allowed “struggle love” because you believed that fighting, heartbreak, and being misunderstood were all a part of the “ride or die” package.

I’m giving a lil forehead kiss to my Scorpios and 8th Housers. And a winky wink to the Rohini and Jyeshta natives in the back.

However, I’m getting a tinge of envy here. You believed that “kinks” (emotional abuse) in the relationship were natural and happened in every relationship, but when you saw couples online or in your environment, they seemed a lot healthier than yours.

You weren’t in a clear headspace, so instead of realizing that your partner dynamic is unhealthy and harming you mentally and emotionally, you internalized it and bore the fault on your shoulders. Oh, those people have healthy relationships because they’re better than me and more attractive, I need to be better.

Listen to me when I say this, your love and devotion are worth more than struggle love, and toxic cycles. The best thing you could have done for yourself is exit these relationships stage left, IMMEDIATELY.

And guess what Pile 2 in 10 years is doing??? EXITING THE MF STAGE AND ENTERING RELATIONSHIPS THAT SERVE THEM! YURR!

If you are currently in this cycle and fear that you aren’t capable of change and healthier connections, trust me you boss up and tell those doubts to shut the fuck up.

Love, you complete all the hard healing. You go through long periods of solitude, introspection, therapy, forgiveness (of yourself), and learning to be your own soul partner and it pays off!!! YOU turn into the one giving self-love and healthy relationship advice.

You’ve been through the ugly and the beautiful and know the trials of the self-hate to forgiveness journey like no other. You could have significant Jupiter placements, you got the guru card. The young grasshopper turns into the wise crane.

If you have dark circles under your eyes, your body language is sluggish, and you just look like life is whooping your ass, a decade from now you will look like… do you know those pictures of those really gorgeous cows?

Like??? Please tell me you get where I’m coming from. You’ll look well-nourished, taken care of, plump (explained briefly), and sitting pretty in your energy of known worth and inner fulfillment.

In Vedic astrology (I’m explaining this very plainly), Rohini natives represent the people whose life path is to obtain inner security and believe everything they desire can be birthed from the resources that come from them (plump). Their opposite, Jyestha represents inner emptiness and insecurity and the insatiable desire to fill that hole (hollow).

Your hole is filled (pause) and you have turned your insecurities into strengths (which is very Jyesthan). This is confidence that can’t be faked or imitated and it’s beyond your wildest dreams. It’s well deserved! You birthed your ideal self-concept all by yourself, and that is no easy feat.

Maybe you have been jaded and swore off marriage, but “bad” news babe you’re marrying someone who adores, respects, and treats you like the soft, yet powerful force you are.

You are very fucking happy, I’ve been cheesing and cracking jokes this entire reading. You are going to live a joyous, easygoing life full of reciprocal love and admiration.

Physically, I’m not getting anything specific besides the clear image that you will look visibly abundant. A bright smile from ear to ear, cheek creases from happiness, clear skin, watery eyes, and you’ll smell like a rich bitch (that was a random message but it felt important).

I’ll close off with a tweet that I have been thinking about since the first card flip,

MUAH 💋

Her Heart is a Blossom of Flowers

⚠︎ Pile Three ⚠︎ (The Tower, 6oP, 10oC)

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

FEEELLL THE RAAAINNN ON YOOOUURRR SKIIINNNNNN\!!!

Babe, you escaped from somewhere. Ran like the wind to your freedom. Similar to Pile One and a bit of Pile Two, you were enslaved to energies that were draining you. However, this energy is more restrictive. Some people had their autonomy stripped away and others had to sacrifice their desires for another’s sake.

I’m sensing a wound in how you perceive yourself, your skills, and your capabilities. The way you express yourself through your passions, your style, and how you speak feels restricted out of fear and overly controlled. A buried piece of you yearns for expression and attention, which you are well deserving of and more than capable of gaining fame for. Fear and anxiety had deluded you into thinking they were more powerful than you.

Yea, that shit is dead 10 years from now. LMAO.

If you have big traveling plans or wish to permanently pack up and move to your dream location, it's happening. Have no doubt, you will not be stuck where you are forever.

You were experiencing a debilitating mental feedback loop of wanting to live your life the way you desire and then halting those desires to help others. Buuuutttt, at some point from when you’re reading this to ten years from now, deception will be revealed to you and you’ll realize the people you are sacrificing your dreams for are undeserving of it.

This will wake you up, breaking the loop and invigorating you to take the reigns of your own life because you’ll know that you can’t stop your motion so others don’t feel left behind.

You’ll reclaim your power over self-doubt and anxiety by choosing faith over fear. Faith in your ability to improve the skills you love and to strive for your dreams even if it scares you. With every fear you face, you’ll realize just how strong you are and get a rush from proving your old self wrong. All the things you believed you couldn’t do, you’re now breezing through and showing the public how its done.

Capricorns, Sagittarius, 2nd and 3rd housers (chiron counts), are getting a special shoutout here.

You will be recognized and adored. You are a star, through and through. Whatever empire you build will be so abundant that you will still be able to help people, but not at the expense of your own success.

Your biggest lesson is learning that you cannot help yourself or anyone for that matter if you are inhibitious and your own biggest naysayer. What do you gain from believing you can’t do something? Not a damn thing. Just frustration and regret. Start affirming that you can become everything you want to be until that self-concept replaces your thought patterns. You are a magnificent being capable of change and there is nothing between you and the life you want to live but your beliefs.

You feel so complete and whole ten years from now. You literally got the ten of cups AND the completion-360 oracle. It must be emphasized that the life behind the veil of fear is one of prosperity, abundance, and unwavering joy. Just go for it, my love! You cannot lose. You only lose if you stay where you are (which you won’t).

Puff your chest out with pride and tell those bitchass fears and doubts to go play with gnats their own size. They don’t want to fight a big dawg like you, pookie 😩😩.

In ten years, I’m getting an office-vixen aesthetic or business chic. Women will always have heels on and men will always find an occasion to wear dress shoes that boost their height a bit. Tight pencil skirts. Suits. Blazers. Capes. Watches. Trench Coats. All that jazz.

MUAH💋

Fear Crumbles at The Feet of A Bad Bitch

⚠︎ Pile Four ⚠︎ (Ace of Wands, The Hermit, 5oW)

Initial Impression: In ten years, you are not afraid to whoop somebody’s ass. I Bet U Won’t by LeVel and Mouse on da track started playing.

I’m sensing tense home energy here. You did not have to do much to be blamed or antagonized for something. You were treated like a black sheep, scapegoated, abused, and expected to take it. If you lashed out in defense, your attackers would take that as an opportunity to paint you as aggressive, a difficult child, or “unsafe”. This could’ve been with friendships too.

My heart is racing right now, in the middle of channeling, a helicopter flew over the neighborhood and told everyone to lock all their entrances and stay inside. I feel like you have spent a huge chunk of your life on edge? Your environment prevented you from safely regulating your nerves and you were never able to feel comfortable anywhere. If your home was not explicitly violent, there was mental warfare that prevented your home from ever feeling like home.

Half the people in this pile experienced the opposite. Everyone else in the house was constantly fighting and belligerent and you stayed meek, quiet, and in your room to create some sense of safety.

For some, it's a mix of both.

Any power that could have been used to stand up or protect yourself was diffused by parental figures or fake friends. The global lockdown was especially difficult for you and trapped you within the tension of the house. For others, I see that this hermit phase lasted beyond the pandemic and maybe even prior.

This is the only pile where I know the transition is happening before the 10-year mark. With all of this fire and solar plexus energy, one day (soon) you will be sparked with the bravery to become your own hero.

You’re removing yourself from a toxic environment and you’re going out SWINGING. Windmilling, even!

That’s not to say that this is all on a whim and impulsive. Oh no no no. You are calculated and pushing forward with careful preparation and a solid plan. If you want to move out, you’ll have the place planned out, your transportation, your food for the next 6 months, and a job lined up.

If this is simply about pursuing your dreams in an environment that wants to squash them, you’re moving in silence and getting all of your ducks in a row so when the time comes, you can chuck the deuces up and never see those people again.

(if you feel guilty about wanting to cut off family members, don't. You must feel confident in the decision to prioritize your health and safety.)

YOU’RE ‘BOUT BIG MF BUSINESS.

In a world where you have never known peace, you will be creating a life of harmony and ease for yourself, and you have every right to be proud of that. That is a generational weight that you let go of, your spirit team and ancestors celebrate your strength and vitality.

You got some crazy repetition with my Oracle deck. You got “Golden Gift”, “Golden Retriever”, the cards fell in a white-orange color pattern, and you have all this wand (fire) energy. You are a firing supernova, the flame within is what will pioneer you to victory.

This is another tale for the ages—your story will be told far and wide, inspiring boys and girls who dream of a savior to become their own saving grace.

You’ll definitely have a long-lasting red hair phase or you’ll have an affinity for the colors red and gold in ten years.

You’ll be healthily competitive. You will have an established workout regimen and do at least one recreational active hobby (soccer, hiking, MMA and swimming were of note). You’ll even be competitive at karaoke night.

There are some bodybuilders in this collective. If you’re a woman and want to lift but fear looking “bulky”, you’ll overcome it and fall in love with your muscular physique. There is an accentuation of your butt, shoulders, back, and abs. You’ll look physically imposing and command respect and attention, but welcoming to all. I see children running to your side for safety.

Go and be great my lil firecracker!! MUAH 💋

God's Golden Gift is a Brave Woman

#arijackz #pick a card #tarot reading #pick a pile #tarot #pac #astrology observations #divination #pac tarot #muah #tarotblr #tarot cards #tarotcommunity

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centaurianthropology · 1 year

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One thing that I think a lot of Disco Elysium meta misses (likely because a lot of it is very clearly written by young Americans writing from an intensely American-centric cultural perspective without even really realizing it) is that one of the singular and central themes of the game is massive-scale generational trauma in a home that is economically collapsing as its resources and people are being drained by an occupation. People have noted that no one tries to help Harry, despite the fact his mental illness is incredibly obvious to everyone around him. He tells Kim that he completely lost his memory, and Kim politely asks him to focus on the work. He tells Gottlieb that he had a heart attack, and Gottlieb tells him that if he’s still alive it couldn’t have been that bad. That he’ll drop dead sooner or later, but then so does everyone.

And that’s the most important thing: so does everyone. Look at Martinaise. Look at the world in which Harry lives. It is not our own, but it is adjacent to ours. More specifically, it is clearly adjacent to the states of the Eastern Bloc: overtaken and occupied by a faraway government that clearly doesn’t care about Revachol or its people. And that is obvious in every tired face, every defeated citizen, everyone trying to eke out a little happiness or meaning in spite of the overwhelming trauma and damage around them. The buildings are still half-destroyed. The bullet holes are still in the walls. The revolution was decades before, but it still feels to the people there like a fresh wound. The number of men of Harry’s generation who are not alcoholic or otherwise deeply fucked up are very few. Some, like Kim, hide it better, but the deeper you dig into his history, the more you realize how damaged Kim is. He’s more than a little trigger happy, and hates that about himself, but he is a product of his environment: Kim’s entire life is seeing people he cared about shot and killed, so his instinct now is to shoot first himself, to protect those few people left who still matter to him.

Harry is not unique in his trauma. He is a distillation of an entire culture of people who tried to rise up and make something beautiful, and were instead routed and occupied. He is trapped between the occupation and the people on the ground, along with all the rest of the RCM. Their authority comes from the occupying government, but it is implied that they were formed out of the remnants of the citizens militia which sprung up from Revachol itself as a way to try to mitigate some of the horrors being committed on its streets. The Moralintern sure as hell wasn’t going to get their hands dirty, so they happily conscripted (and therefore could better control) this group, who are only recognized in certain places, and whose authority mostly amounts to giving out fines. The RCM is corrupt, but it is corrupt in the same way its culture is. Bribes are considered standard with them, not a moral failing, but a necessity, so long as those bribes are correctly logged as ‘donations’. It’s how the RCM stays afloat, and the rest of Revachol completely understands that. Everyone would take a bribe if it meant they kept eating. Everyone would take a little under-the-table money if it meant keeping a roof over their heads. The officersof the RCM certainly don’t make enough to see a doctor. They have an in-house lazarus, and if he can’t fix them they just die. Mental health care? What mental health care? Harry doesn’t get it for the same reason no one else does: it doesn’t really seem to exist. There are no counselors, no psychologists, no psychiatrists. How would they even start? If the world is what is broken, if everyone is suffering a similar catastrophic amount, it makes sense that Harry’s trauma would simply get rolled up with all the rest. Kim asks him to get on with the job because Harry’s suffering is not remarkable in Revachol. He is one of an entire generation who have an astronomical number of orphans from the revolution, and so many younger people are left more or less orphans as their parents drink themselves into oblivion like Cuno’s father. So Harry’s truly unique attribute is embodying all that trauma, having it all inside of him, filling him to bursting.

To really engage with the themes of the game, engaging first and foremost with the reality of Revachol is imperative. Imposing our own reality onto Revachol, particularly if coming from an American perspective (which tend to have the habit of both viewing the world through an American lens and not realizing they’re doing it because they’ve never experienced a different lens), will always feel shallow to me because of this.

All that is to say, I would love to hear some more explicitly European meta about this game, and especially Eastern European meta. If anyone can point me to some good, juicy essays from that perspective, I would be grateful!

#Disco Elysium #is such a good game #but I found a lot of the meta around it frustratingly shallow #and very VERY American #which is also frustrating #given how clearly Eastern European the roots of this game are #I have no problem with people using a game or other work of fiction to inform their own lives and experiences #but I find it strange when people engage with the game #as though it was coming from an American perspective #asking why certain things happen or didn't #based on how they would play out or have played out in America #anyway this a rambly way to request some meta from other cultural perspectives #I am very interested in reading it!#Disco Elysium meta

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mrsnancywheeler · 8 months

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the river (1) // finnick odair x f.reader

summary: the Capitol has taken you away from Finnick, the life you've been trying to build together and now he has to fight to get every part of you back

the end of a trilogy

the lakes previous chapter

next chapter

masterlist

7.2k words

warnings: angst, fluff, mental illness, suicidal ideations, self hate, young finnick and reader dynamics, a love triangle that was never a love triangle, smug finnick, it's so cheesey, pining, this is not a slow burn, implied soulmates, unedited, no use of y/n, allusions to trafficking, mentions of torture

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Finnick’s been staring blankly at the hovercrafts’ walls for longer than he can imagine, since it had stopped waiting and left you for dead in the dilapidated arena. He knew if he reacted the way he wanted too they would sedate him and currently he needed to live with his guilt. He should've refused to let you go with Katniss, or have torn out your tracker himself. Most importantly he should never have told you about the rebel plan, of course he only revealed the basics on how you were to get Katniss out of the arena and go to District 13, but that could seriously jeopardize any semblance of sympathy the Capitol would have for you.

He imagined you on the beach, devoting your life and love to him, and how before Snow broke or killed you, maybe even both, he'd never given you a proper wedding. All the traditions from back home, in a proper ceremony, with a dress would never happen. A large part of him didn't even feel like fighting the rebellion for you, since there was a probability that if the rebels one, you wouldn't be there on the other side to greet him. What was the point of a life if your future, the happiness, the children you could have had if all of this was behind you, if you were gone forever.

Plutarch begins to say something, but Finnick raises his hand as if to indicate he can't listen or speak right now. He's trying not to snap, not to take control of the ship so he can immediately perform his own rescue mission. Of course people were going to get hurt, even die, in the cause of the rebellion, but it was never supposed to be you. Why was he cursed to love someone who refused to patiently wait for him, who needed to be a part of the action? That's what had always been so magnetic about you though, the way you refused to fall into any constraints about how your life should be lived. Maybe, if you hadn't been left consumed by guilt after your first Games, you would've heard his plea and helped the rebellion from home, or he would've never told you about it at all to keep you safe. But that was wistful thinking, instead compassionate, worried, steadfast, beautiful you was in the grasp of the Capitol.

He decided he couldn't stay quiet any longer, he doesn't care if it's futile, what type of husband would leave his wife behind? For years you'd been fragile, like a bomb waiting to detonate, and he'd done whatever he could for you, he couldn't just give up on that now. You would have done it for him, you would have thrown yourself out of the hovercraft to save him, and knowing that hurt him and made him love you more. Finnick had spent years trying to prove to you that life was worth living even if you refused to admit that you felt that way, which in truth, caused him to grieve for the version of you from before the Games. The you that longed for a life that wasn't expected, to be lead by her heart and the wind, to be excited, until suddenly it was the you who didn't think she was worth being trusted, the you who stayed up wishing for death, and the you who wanted him, but felt guilty for it. Snow had taken that away from him, away from you, and now would take more from you. Finnick couldn't help but wonder how much was left to take, you had your compassion, your humor, your love, and if that was gone you'd be a husk of paranoia that he would desperately work to restore. Maybe death would have been kinder.

“Communications are down in seven, ten, and twelve. But eleven has control of transportation now, so there's hope of getting some food out." Plutarch says to Haymitch and Finnick can no longer be quiet.

"We have to go back.” His voice is hoarse, cracking with each syllable.

"I'm sorry, you know we can't do that. Her tracker was still in, they've definitely got her by now.” Plutarch tries to sound somewhat sympathetic, but it doesn't work.

“She's smart, she'll think of some way to pretend she knows less about the rebellion. If she can convince them of that, then she'll be used as bait.” Haymitch sounds so sure of himself, but Finnick isn't. You hadn't known too much, but not only were you willing to do anything if someone threatened him, you were like a glass sitting on the edge of the table, with one nudge you'd shatter.

Finnick starts shaking his head, “No, we have to-" Whatever plea he's started to make is interrupted as Katniss bangs through the door.

“Done knocking yourself out, sweetheart?" Haymitch focuses on Katniss, “So it's you and your syringe against the Capitol? See, this is why no one lets you make the plans." He's chuckling slightly, but only Plutarch would also want to laugh right now. “Drop it." He's forced Katniss to get rid of the syringe and sits down by Finnick, who's been infested with thoughts about how if he hadn't let Haymitch convince him of putting Katniss and Peeta first, he could've focused on you.

They're rambling an explanation of the rebellion to Katniss and Finnick is left once again wondering if he could hijack the ship. Snow probably wants him to, expects him too. You probably don't blame him, but Finnick knows your self-destructive ways. First, you'll try to find ways to end it all, and do nothing but mourn him, then you'll start to convince yourself maybe he left you on purpose, that you weren't stable or trustworthy enough to help with the rebellion, but you still wouldn't blame him, you'd tell yourself it's what you deserved. Finnick needed to be there to intercept the doubt before you ate yourself alive. Additionally, he didn't know how long he could last without you as an anchor, his sweet girl, refusing to acknowledge her own problems while trying to keep him afloat.

“I still don't understand why Peeta and I weren't let in on the plan." Katniss is saying, her voice just as broken as Finnick's had been.

“Because when the force field blew you'd be the first ones they'd try to capture, and, the less you knew, the better.” Haymitch explains.

"The first ones? Why?”

"For the same reason the rest of us agreed to die to keep you alive.” Finnick finally chimes in although he resents the words he's saying. He should've instead let you work your magic, try to convince someone to volunteer for him ahead of time, and stayed at home with you. If he stayed there was a higher chance you would too, yet maybe you would've gone over his head and decided you still couldn't live with yourself if you didn't volunteer.

"No, Johanna tried to kill me.” Katniss argues.

"Johanna knocked you out to take out the tracker from your arm and lead Brutus and Enobaria away from you.” Haymitch is seemingly getting exhausted and annoyed from all the explanations he owes her.

“What? I don't know what you're-"

Plutarch interrupts her, “We have to save you because you're the Mockingjay, Katniss. While you live, the revolution lives."

More words are mumbled and Finnick's head buzzes, it wasn't worth fighting the revolution if he couldn't do it with you. There was no way he could stomach it without your help, there's no way you would admit to it, but you kept him from drowning.

The way Katniss hisses at Haymitch helps Finnick zone back in, “Where is Peeta?" She's finally caught on, that her survival is without the person she loves safety.

“He was picked up by the Capitol along with Johanna, Enobaria, and-" Finnick hits the table interrupting Haymitch's train of thought. No one can be outraged at him for long though because Katniss has launched herself at Haymitch, screaming, and scratching, he's screaming back and Finnick is forced to leap into action. Katniss is only doing what he so desperately has been holding back on, how dare these people not understand that you had to be saved too. Yet he's dragging her off, back to her bed, to be tied down, sedated.

“Katniss. Katniss, I'm sorry. I wanted to save all of them, but I couldn't move." Finnick whispers, he doesn't know when he started crying, but he has. When the lighting hit the tree and Katniss' arrow had flown, the burst of electricity had left him helpless, frozen on the ground when he could hear you in the distance, screaming for him. “It's better for him, they'll figure out he doesn't know anything pretty fast. And they won't kill him if they can use him against you.

“Does she know too much or will she be used as bait, Finnick?" Katniss' voice is hazy in the mess of the sedation, but it's clear she's not very empathetic with her statement.

Finnick lets the tears take over him, weeping for you, how he couldn't save you. “I wish she were dead." He quietly admits, probably echoing something you'd agree with. "I wish they were all dead and we were too. It would be best.” Katniss is far gone, but Finnick can't stand his own thoughts any longer. He's basically begging to be sedated until they let him, he wants for it to stop the thoughts, leave him in a world where he's still with you. Even if you haunt his dreams.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

He knew of you, from school, from the similar social scenes, and you were well liked enough, but although he'd never admit it, Finnick Odair had never been confident enough to talk to you. Maybe it's because so many people spoke highly of you, but you'd never approached him. Shamefully he was a passive admirer, watching as you laughed at parties, nursed drunk friends, charmed customers at the markets. Maybe though he was scared that the person who everyone considered genuine would reject him as a person worth being around, see him the way he saw himself.

One sunny day in the market though he decided he had to take the step, see if were really the way people described you as, and possibly put to rest the infatuation he'd had for you. One that had really sparked when one of fair-weather friends, Beckett, had mentioned how you'd basically saved his life when he was drunk by a dock after another party. Kind, but brazen especially when Beckett tried to pay back the favor the next day by walking you home. Eventually the same night he told Finnick about you, he'd left to find you at the party and your magnetic company. You just seemed to draw people to you, a charm that Finnick couldn't resist much longer.

So there you were, flashing your tooth bearing smile to every potential customer. He'd talked to plenty of pretty girls before, but usually they introduced themselves to him, and the fact he barely existed to you certainly made you more intriguing. The moment the customer you were with was gone he forced himself up to your booth, one that was full of crates with huge crabs.

“Most of what the Capitol serves is from here anyways, so it's certainly not a downgrade." Your sweet, peachy voice spoke first and Finnick was somewhat taken aback, unintentionally sending you a quizzical look. “The crabs." You smiled, probably wondering why he didn't pick that up the first time.

“Oh, yes, of course, the crabs." He feigned interest in one, picking it up.

“You know, if you're not here for the crabs you better say something before I start listing off facts." Finnick decided he wouldn't mind that, your voice soothed his ears, but more importantly he'd been given a piece of who you were.

“Who says I'm not here to talk about crabs?" His natural playfulness shined through any persona he was scared he would have to put on if you weren't like he'd been told about, observed. For less then a second there was a flash of what must have been embarrassment in your eyes that quickly subsided with a shrug of your shoulders.

“They're caught in the-" Finnick couldn't stop himself from laughing when you diligently started on your promised list.

“No, please, you'll bore me to death. Guilty as charged, I'm not here to talk about crabs." He put down the crab he'd been holding, hands in the air.

You leaned on the counter, hands propping up your face, “Okay then, what are you here to talk about, Mr. Odair?"

“Finnick." He said almost too quickly for his liking, “Just wanted to talk to you." It was cocky the way he said it, but he couldn't help himself when you seemed so ready to bite back.

“Flattered, Finnick." You paused, like you were waiting for him to say something, “I'm working."

“And I'm a customer."

“Are you planning on buying anything?" Your hands moved from your face to the counter top.

“Maybe." He shrugged, his usual smug smile making its appearance.

You sighed like you were defeated, but your body language said otherwise. Maybe you'd wanted to talk to him just as much, but he'd been the one holding out on you. He'd like to think that even if it was presumptuous. “So, what does the Finnick Odair want to talk to me about?”

He didn't really know what he wanted to talk about, just that he wanted to talk to you. "The party, tomorrow night, are you coming?” It was a stupid question, you were at all of them, but much to his amusement you shrugged.

"Depends.”

"Depends on what?”

“Do you want me there?" You were bold and your aura exuded that even though if he stared deep enough into your eyes he could sense it hid other feelings.

“Are you flirting with me?" He clicked his tongue, head shaking as if it wasn't what he wanted.

“No."

“I don't believe you."

“Well it's your party, your house, I'm just asking permission." Your eyes widened, feigning innocence, and he decided you were nothing in short of perfect. Maybe he was just clouded because someone finally wasn't oooo’ing or ahhhh’ing at him. Or because he'd admired you from afar for so long that anything you said would be enough to draw him in. He also didn't really care because he'd made up his mind about liking your presence, more than that off any of his fickle friends.

“You've never asked permission before." The look on your face told him he'd caught you, that was your brain racking for a response before your face could slip back into its soft smile.

“You've never talked to me before." Maybe your words were even, but the way you fiddled with your necklace spoke measures to him.

“So you just show up at the houses of men you've never talked too?" Finnick teased, but he knew you'd always had plenty of invites from other people unlike the crazy fans who'd try to push their way into his home. Regardless, the parties were a way for him to keep up Capitol appearances and drown out his sorrows, so extra guests with actual connections to his social group hardly bothered him.

“If you wanted to talk to tell me it feels like I'm intruding, then you can just come out and say it. I get it and I won't go." You maintained a somewhat playful sound, but were so genuine it shocked him. So willing to give up your entire social scene if it made him slightly uncomfortable.

“No, I do want you there." He felt like he said it much too quickly, but he didn't regret it when your smile widened.

“Okay." You bit your bottom lip when another presence was ducking into the booth beside you. The local healer who whispered something to you. “You know you can have as many as you want for it, we can't thank you enough." You said earnestly. He handed you a couple of bottles of some type of medicine that you shoved into a netted bag before grabbing him a smaller box.

“Four or five?" The man said quietly and you filled the box with crabs before handing it to him. “Thank you, now you tell your mom I wished her the best and let me know how she's doing."

“Will do." You smiled as the man scurried off. “Sorry about that." Your attention was back on Finnick.

“Is your mom not well?" It was an obvious question but he wanted to show he cared, you just waved your hand in dismissal.

“She's okay, don't worry about it." So he respected the fact you didn't feel like opening up about it and moved onto playful banter again. “If you want me there and already knew I'd be there, why are you talking to me now?" You led the conversation back and it was obvious to him that it was a sore subject, perhaps you were one of those people who didn't like to trouble others with their problems.

“I can't talk to a pretty girl?”

"You talk to pretty girls all the time, Finnick Odair, and you've never talked to me before.” Your hands settled back up to support your face.

He leaned in closer, “Don't tell anyone, but maybe I needed to hype myself up before I talked to the prettiest one." Your laugh was addictive and he wished he could've seen more of how your face scrunched up when you buried it in your hands.

“God, you're treacherous." One of your hands decided to nervously play with an earring and the other went back to the necklace. “I bet that's what you tell all the pretty girls." Finnick's ears were blessed with another nervous laugh.

“Just you." He winked, grateful that he'd found an easy rhythm in talking to you. You were teasable, but would bite back, for the first time in a while he was glad he trusted his observations.

“You know flirting with the girl at the market to get free food only works for people not famous all across Panem."

“Good thing that's not why I'm flirting with the girl at the market then."

Your face was once again buried in your hands with a giggle, "You're dreadful. Is this how you usually entrap a girl, don't speak to her, and then it's all sweet talk?”

Finnick wished he could say it's because seeing you around gave him unexplainable butterflies deep within his stomach, but that wasn't a very suave explanation. “I had to make sure you didn't have a boyfriend first.” His voice was low and he could tell it was giving you goosebumps, or maybe you were just cold in your sundress.

"Oh, you're bold." You guffawed, “Besides you already have a hole in your story, there isn't a single person anyone would think I'm dating.”

"That's a bold-faced lie, sweet girl, most people think you do since he's always trailing around like a lost puppy.” If he was lucky you would melt at the pet name and you somewhat did before you scoffed.

"Who?" You didn't seem like the oblivious type, but so earnestly confused.

Finnick's eyes dragged over to a nearby booth where the subject stood, sulking and your eyes followed, “Looks like he might attack."

“Conway?" You shook your head so earnestly it made Finnick feel like he could blush from how ardently you wanted him to know you weren't taken. “No, no, no, no! God, no, he's just my friend. We're friends.”

"Have you told him that?” He smirked.

You were so cute, when you were biting back, when you were nervous, when you were embarrassed, he didn't know how a person could manage to be so adorable all the time. “Yes, he knows that, he's just, well he's just Conway. It's just a phase, he'll grow out of it." You rubbed your neck as a much more forced laugh escaped those perfect lips.

“Hopefully, looks like he's coming over to rip my throat out. Please come to my funeral, front row, no roses on the coffin, lilies preferably." Finnick pulled a faux terrified face as he clasped his hands together with his plea, successfully turning your laugh into a much more genuine one.

“Hi, Princess." Conway approached the booth and Finnick wondered how you could ever think he was getting over you. Behind the brunette's back he shot you a look, teasing you for as much which you seemed to instantly understand as you bit your lip with a shrug.

"Hey, Conway. You guys finished up?" You asked, that dazzling smile on your face.

“Yeah, mom was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight? Nixie and Delta had something they were excited to show you.”

“Yes of course! Tell them I have something for them too, and I'll meet you guys after I've dropped everything off at home."

“I'll walk you."

“I'm gonna walk her home." Finnick seized the opportunity, even if you said you were just friends he couldn't let himself lose the build up he was working for. Conway looked at him like he'd forgotten he was there and was angered to have remembered. “If you want me to, do you want me to?" Finnick looked back at you and you genuinely had a look of complete confusion.

"I always walk you home.” Conway said softly and Finnick wished he felt worse for interfering with another person's love, but he couldn't help that he felt a spark just by looking at you and fireworks in your presence.

"You wanna walk me home?” Your eyes were glued on Finnick, like you thought he'd just been bored and was going to leave after finding his enjoyment in flirting with you. He wanted to get inside your head, see why you were so vulnerable, prove to you that you deserved to feel better about yourself.

"Of course I do, sweet girl.” His voice was less focused on being charming and so earnest it rewarded him with the happiest, biggest smile he'd gotten out of you.

“I'll walk you home after dinner though, that way you're not walking home alone in the dark." Conway inserted himself once again and after a pause you shook yourself out of whatever haze you were in to turn to him.

“Thank you so much, you're so kind, Conway. Either way I still have to wait until everything closes or I sell out, so it could be a while."

“Oh, mom sent me over to buy the last half crate for dinner tomorrow,we've got some extra wiggle room, and we're all tired of trout and crawfish all the time. So a little something special until I'm sure we'll all get tired of the leftovers. Do you want to come tomorrow too?" He pulled out the money from his pocket to slip into your hand.

“Lucky you, I hope you all enjoy it!" You took the money to put into the small metal box where you must have been storing the cash. “I've got plans tomorrow or else I definitely would." You picked up a box to move the crabs into.

“Is there a party? You should've told me, mom won't want me to miss tomorrow and you'll have no one with you."

“Conway, as much as I appreciate the sentiment, I don't need to be watched over. I'm perfectly capable of myself." You handed him the crate, “Besides you hate going to them and I don't want to drag you to one just for you to mope in the corner."

“And I'll be there anyways." Finnick raised his hand as if to remind everyone he was still there and you did seem to soften when you looked at him.

“Yeah, Finnick, will be there. I'll be fine!"

Conway took a step closer to you as he filled his box, trying to whisper, but it wasn't hard for Finnick to eavesdrop. "You barely know him.”

You glared back at Conway and mouthed a ‘Stop it!" The much taller man seemed to reluctantly relent as he stepped away. “I just have to close everything up then, and I'll be ready to go." You look back at Finnick who nods and smiles.

“Let me help you."

“Oh no, you don't have to do that!" You quickly assure.

"Angel, I want to.” You seem to respond well to that pet name as well whereas Conway is instantly glaring into Finnick's head. He doesn't mean to be cocky, but Finnick can't resist a cocky shrug to the other man the moment you're going to retrieve your bag and the little metal container of money to shove into it. Finnick’s nimble fingers are quickly undoing the ropes holding the top up.

You exit the structure and walk up to him, “How'd you do that so fast, the knots always take me forever to undo."

Finnick can't hide his amusement with your awe,"Always been good with knots, I could show you sometime.”

You're nodding in agreement when suddenly your mouth is agape and you're playfully shoving him, “Finnick Odair, I hardly know you!"

“That's not what I meant, honestly!" He defends, laughing, and he's being truthful. It hadn't crossed his mind when he said it, he would love to show you how to tie a rope, he'd always found it calming. “Says a lot that your mind jumped to that though." He tilts his head and the way your eyes widen makes him wish he could feel how hot your face must be by now.

“You do barely know him." Conway mutters and Finnick wishes he would disappear.

You seem to regain your composure and point to the left, “I'm about 30 minutes that way, so you really don't have to walk me home if you don't want to, it's long."

“Stop worrying about me, I'm certain I want to walk you home."

You're nodding softly and biting your bottom lip, "Okay.” Swiftly you're leading the way, both men trailing behind and Finnick is annoyed that Conway is still sticking around, before he realizes his family's booth is in that direction. Suddenly you're stopping before basically leaping towards a booth, a fruit booth Finnick recognizes. “Douglas, you have peaches! Why didn't you say anything?"

The older man chuckles and gives you a knowing look, “Because you can't afford them and will barter me for them."

You gasp in mock offense, “So rude and after all this time too, Mrs. Damaris would be astounded by your behavior.”

"You know if you sneak me a couple of crabs tomorrow I'd give you a whole bag.”

"Your father would be angry-” Conway begins some sort of lecture when you're snapping at him like you'd also like to be rid of his presence.

"I know, Conway.” The look you shoot at him could kill, and Finnick feels a weird sense of elation knowing you're more peeved that Conway won't let you be alone with Finnick.

“Then I'm sorry, sweetheart, nothing's going to work on me this time. I've prepared myself."

Finnick is already pulling out his money, “It's okay, I've got it."

“No." Your resistance shocks him, he's used to people begging to be around his wealth and to charm you he's more than willing to she'll it out. “You're not buying things for me, Finnick. I'm serious." He says nothing, but doesn't return his money back to his pocket.

“Come on, princess, you'll live without one." Conway manages to still sound so kind and you purse your lips, refusing to satisfy the man you feel pestered by with a response. Finnick is busy trying to silently communicate with the vendor that whatever you try to barter he'll give him the money right after.

“My ring?" You hold up your hand, waving the finger around and the older man shakes his head.

“I can't accept every piece of jewelry you find on the beach."

You sigh dramatically and Finnick thinks he's finally been able to indicate to the vendor. “Mrs. Damaris would love this necklace, look it's got an actual ruby in it and I didn't find it. Someone gave it to me, it's worth a lot more than a peach and I only want one.” The man reluctantly exhales, glasses at the end of his nose, “Please Douglas, we barely ever get them here.” Your pout has to make you even more adorable and Finnick wonders how you can be so perfect.

“Fine!" The man grumbles with a sly smile and Finnick can tell the man would've taken the necklace even without the money he was about to give.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!" You gush as your fingers rush, struggling as you unclasp the necklace. Putting the necklace on the counter as the man hums. You take your time picking out the perfect peach before grabbing one, “I love you so much, Douglas, Mrs. Damaris is a lucky woman!" You began to walk off.

Douglas nods, “Sure she is, take care of yourself and bring some actual money next time." The moment your back is turned Finnick is putting the money on the table, with a little extra.

“Thank you." He mouths with a smile, grabbing the necklace.

“No, thank you. I've got no use for the necklace, or anything else she's given." The old man is shaking his head with a smile, grabbing the money. “You take care."

Finnick nods, catching up to you where he can hear another tense conversation between you and Conway. “God Conway, it doesn't matter. Tallulah gets me a gift every time I take care of her during a hangover because she feels bad, it doesn't matter. Yes it was pretty and I really liked it, but I'll tell her it fell off in the ocean and she'll buy me a new one.”

"You're just so careless sometimes, it's a fruit.” Conway shakes his head in disbelief.

"And it's just a necklace, what's your problem? It's not even from you, and it's not a big deal. I liked it, I'll probably miss it, but I might not have a peach for another year and Tallulah will have given me another gift by the end of the week for the hangover she'll definitely have from tomorrow night.”

"She's not a bank for you, and that trade was so uneven.”

"Why are you trying to make me feel guilty? That's not how I see her, I've been her friend for years and it's just how we work! You're being so weird about this and it's none of your business. I don't take her money, or ask for it, or let her pay for things, she just gives me them when I help her out!” Finnick finds himself being enraged at Conway for the way your voice shakes as you defend yourself, for the way he's making you seem selfish when you adamantly refused to let Finnick buy you something as small as a piece of fruit.

Finnick is suddenly standing beside you holding up the little heart necklace, it swinging in front of your face. You stop dead in your tracks, “Finnick." Your voice is so soft it makes him want to melt, "You don't even know me, Finnick. I don't need you to buy things for me, you don't have to do that. I traded it for a reason, go give it back.”

"He's much happier with the money, anyways, sweet girl. I have enough money to drown in, you're hardly breaking the bank with a peach. And I know you enough to want to do that for you. Can't a man buy things for a pretty girl?” You look like you might cry, but you don't allow yourself too and Finnick comes to the conclusion that you're not used to being helped, to have someone willing to just do things for you without some sort of transaction involved, and he's intent on changing that. "Red looks good on you, angel, let me put it back on you.” You're playing with your earrings as you finally slowly turn to let him clasp the necklace on. He adored the way you shiver when his fingers brush against your neck as he puts it on and the way you seem to miss his touch the moment it's gone. It's like fate designed the two of you to meet each other, to be perfect for one another and he's only just forced himself to talk to you.

He also gets a sick pleasure from how vexed it makes the other man vying for your affections. Within a few more steps you've arrived at the Delmare family booth and they're ecstatic to see you before they've calmed down. “I'll see you tonight?" Conway asks.

“Yes, of course." You offer a smile even though Finnick can tell you're still seething underneath and Conway nods somewhat sadly. You turn you back to him as keep walking, “So are you-"

“Yes, I'm sure I want to walk you home!" Finnick interrupts with a laugh and you accept the answer and finally begin to eat your peach. “Let me take your bag." He offers, hand reaching for it.

"It's okay I've got it.” You must have decided you're able to slip back into your normal playful tone, and he curses Conway in his mind for making you anxious enough to ever stop in the first place, “I know you must be used to women throwing themselves at your feet, but we are in fact strong enough to carry our own bags."

“You have an indent in your shoulder from it." He remarks, with what he's sure must be an infuriatingly smug smirk. You don't look at him as you seem to reason in your head that it is quite heavy and slowly pry it off your shoulder. He's grabbing it from your hand before you're even reaching out and although it's nothing for him, he's surprised by the weight. “Good thing I want to carry your bag even if you're a woman throwing yourself at my feet." He clicks his tongue as the two of you stroll down the cobblestone street.

You elbow him softly, “I'd say you're throwing yourself at mine."

“I'd agree and say I'm glad I am."

“Finnick." Your voice is suddenly much more serious.

“Yes, angel?"

“Seriously, why are you talking to me?" He assumes you must be trying to protect yourself and it hurts him to think you'd ever imagine that his intentions were anything less than true.

“Because I like you."

You laugh so delicately it could be carried into the breeze, “No you don't! We've never talked before, I mean you don't really know me at all."

“So you don't like me?" He teases, a glimmer in his eyes.

“No, I do, I mean, I just, that's different." You stutter through it, hands moving as you speak.

“How's it different?"

“Because you're you, you're Finnick Odair, everyone likes you and if they don't they're stupid. And I'm just, I mean I'm just some girl, who you've been trying to fluster."

“People talk about you too, I see you around, listen to you, what you say, what people say about you, and I've decided that I like you. And I think that if you didn't want to be flustered, you'd tell me. That's it, that's the explanation, and I'm talking to you so I can really know you.”

There's a silence where you must be deciding if you're satisfied with his answer, "What do you want to know about me?” The walk to your house seems to go by too fast with the stories and banter, the way you sass him back and then get ruffled when he makes flirty remarks before you make them back, and the way you savor each bite of that peach like you'll never have one again, which he'll make sure you will. He's already mourning your company when you're walking up to the door, “This is me, I know, it's not much to look at." It's a dilapidated little house, cracked, white brick and he can tell it used to be nice. You're slowly walking up to the door and he hopes you feel the same way he does.

"Go out with me tomorrow.” Finnick says abruptly.

"What?” You turn to him, trying to not act as giddy as he can tell you are.

"Tomorrow, just you and me, an actual date. It's a Sunday, so the market will be closed. We can picnic by the water, there's a lovely, private piece of beach in Victor's Village and we'll swim, we can do whatever else you want too.” He tries to sound nonchalant as he runs his hands through his hair.

"Okay.” You nodded, fingers running up and down the chain on your necklace. "Yes, I'd like that.”

"Okay, good, that's good.” He doesn't mean to seem desperate for your time, but he is. “I can be here at noon? I'll walk you."

“Yeah." You muttered, by now you're both standing at your front door. Staring at him and he prays you'll never go inside and just stand here with him. “My bag."

“Sorry, yes, your bag!" He pulls it off his shoulder and feels more embarrassed than he ought to be, “Sorry!" But you just laugh it off as he hands it to you.

"It's okay.” You're back is to the door, slowly pushing the handle. He wants to kiss you, but he's already moving so fast with everything else, he figures that he better let you have something to wait for even if it's disappointing to you know, it disappoints him too.

"I'll see you tomorrow, at 12.” He reiterates, feeling like a magnet being pushed away from his other half as he steps away, ready to fly back forward.

You do look somewhat let down as he moves away, but he has to be resilient,"Thank you, Finnick! Have a good night.”

"Have a good night, sweet girl!” He flashes his Panem adored smile and forces himself to turn his back towards you. Finnick decides he's glad he listened to the caverns of his soul when they called him to you. He can't help himself from being so forward with you when he's already so sure, like he's been with no one before, that you must be meant to be and he's running back to the marketplace praying that Douglas hadn't yet closed down shop.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Doctors occasionally hover above him and the ceiling is white, which is all he knows when he's in his sedated state. Sometimes they let him be without, but he can't process their questions, not when he's thinking of you which sometimes leads him back to being sedated when he starts lashing out at the nurses and doctors. Screaming, insisting you need to be saved. He's not sure when he asked, but at some point they give him a piece of rope which he diligently ties knots in to calm himself. It always seemed to work until he thought about how hard he tried to help you master different knots, but your hands would fumble. At some point he'd become sure that you did it on purpose so that his fingers would be by yours and his back pressed up against you, but he didn't care, it was heartwarming. Then he would fly into a fit again.

The same thing had happened when they'd brought him some type of dry oatmeal usually with a mix of berries that made it barely tolerable, once he could've sworn he caught a whiff of peaches in it that had him desperately trying to inhale the scent. Sobbing over the bowl until his nose was so stuffed he could no longer smell it, smell you and the sobbing became too uncontrollable. The doctors couldn't calm him down and he was once again sedated.

For weeks that's all his life was. Haunted by you, what could be happening to you, all the things he missed about you and trying to stay calm enough that he wasn't being restrained or returned to a cloudy state. Although the sedation sometimes brought back good memories he could dissociate into, other times all he could picture were all the things the Capitol, that Snow could be doing to you.

What if you were still being sold off like some kind of doll on top of what you were having to endure. And you'd have no one to comfort you at the end of the day which would drive you to insanity. Or he could picture you hypothermic on the floor. Or being taunted with jabberjays screaming in his voice. Or it could be a violent torture. He could picture thousands of unpleasant things that made him wish the rope was long enough to be a noose.

Sometimes he'd picture the last time he saw you, begging with him to not be upset when you parted ways with Katniss' insistence. Each time he thought about it he'd come to a different conclusion. Most of the time he blamed himself for letting you go, for not fighting harder to stay together or not tearing out your tracker right before you left even if it alerted someone of the plan. Sometimes he'd blame Katniss for forcing your hand in the first place, why couldn't she have just followed the plan that had been so carefully structured out. And on a rare occasion he blamed you for trying to follow the objective of keeping Katniss safe and leaving him, for not remembering to take out the tracker, for not keeping your promise. Which would then make him sick with himself for thinking anything slightly negative about your actions when you were probably enduring unbearable lengths of pain for him, for the rebellion.

On the lucky occasion where he wasn't heavily sedated he'd been anxiously tying small knots into the rope when the television began playing some mandated report from the Capitol and there was Peeta. Proclaiming how he and Katniss knew nothing about the rebel plan, that Katniss had coincidentally shot her arrow into the dome when the lighting struck, and how there needed to be a ceasefire. Finnick wished he hadn't told you about the rebel plan, that you would just be bait, not someone trying to hide that they had some semblance of information regarding the rebel plan to get out of the arena. He'd signed your death warrant and delivered it straight into the Capitol's cold hands.

Finnick got swept up in his thoughts of what he could've done differently, how much he despised himself for not doing so when suddenly it was your voice on that television screen.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

so exited to start the river with you guys and to explore reader and finnick's past more. thank you all so much for the endless support and for continuing to read my little series, ily all. as always reblogs, comments, and likes are super appreciated, and my ask box plus request are open even if they take a hot second more me to get through. again endless thanks to you all and love you 💋

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runningfrom2am · 4 months

Text

cold nights // epilogue

summary: a few years later...

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.7k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n:

here it is :) the epilogue :)

(i'm crying, could you tell??) i figured it was time to post this now that we've officially entered the overlapping requiem/michigan cherry era. tbh i was just afraid to let these two go bc i love them so much.

thank you all again SO so much for all the love on this fic. it has truly meant everything to me that so many people came on this actual JOURNEY with me, i never intended this to be so long but here we are.

anyway, stick around for requiem!! and i hope you loved this if you made it this far!!

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist // pinterest board

You were all dressed up in one of your finest gowns, attending the gala that preceded the presidential election.

Coriolanus was running, of course, and you were so incredibly proud. He's worked toward this for years, and you had been there every step of the way since the tenth annual Hunger Games, all those years ago. It felt like a distant memory- albeit one that still haunted you regularly.

You were a whole new person. A Capitol citizen most of the year, and you were happy most of the time. You and Coryo had always gone home in the summers, though, to spend your days surrounded by friends and family under the District Twelve sun. You always looked forward to it, but three months never felt like quite enough time. You missed your old life, but that's all it could be now.

While some Capitol elite was talking your ear off about the upcoming games, that's all you can think about. Well, how after the election that your boyfriend would most certainly win, those summers of peace would be a thing of the past. It was hard to think about, which is why you focussed on how you could work around it. Perhaps you would make smaller visits throughout the year- although Coryo was prepping you for the endless tasks that would even be put onto you as the First Lady of Panem. Once he wins the election, he would propose- and it would be followed by the wedding of the century. You didn't know if you dreaded it or if the pressure of it all just scared you beyond what excitement could repair.

"Miss Y/L/N?" Your train of thought is abruptly interrupted and you hum in response, bringing the champagne glass to your lips, acting like you were paying attention the whole time.

"Yes?" You respond as you lower your glass. "My apologies, I just spaced out for a moment there. It's a big day, after all..." You chuckle to recover, tilting your head slightly at them.

"I was just asking if you had any input in the arena for the next Games, if you could give us any hints." The man asks, seemingly impatient with you getting distracted.

"Oh," You reply, smile fading softly. "No, I- I really try to stay out of all of that." You laugh nervously, gripping tighter onto the glass as you take another sip, relieved when you feel someone's hand on your arm.

"Y/N, come sit. Coriolanus's speech is about to start, he got me to save you a seat at my table." Sejanus says, linking his arm with yours.

You politely excuse yourself from the conversation and allow him to pull you away. "Many thanks." You whisper to him, chuckling slightly as you glance back over your shoulder at the older man you were speaking to. "Some people are so tone-deaf, aren't they?"

"Most definitely." He sighs, shaking his head as he guides you toward his table at the front of the banquet hall, close to the stage. "Apparently that will never change."

Sejanus Plinth was your saving grace all these years, that, however, had never changed. You didn't see him as much anymore, with you being locked up in your office in the Snow penthouse focused on writing book after book until you were burnt out. His role as a doctor in and out of the Districts certainly didn't help either, but you knew he was partial to working back home in Twelve so he could spend more time with Lucy Gray. You were glad he was much more fulfilled in his adult life than you were; you always knew he would do well and you were proud. You had to take moments every so often to remind yourself that when you first met him and Coryo, you had been sad that you wouldn't get to see the men they would become but you had wondered. Now, you had your answers.

"Is that not the truth." You scoff under your breath, smiling and giving a quick wave to a few familiar faces as you pass. You had become somewhat of a people-pleasing expert, the same way Coriolanus had.

You sit down at the table at the front of the room just as the lights slightly dim, and the spotlight hits the stage. You gently cross one leg over the other, careful not to wrinkle your dress and clap in just the perfect polite way you had learned how to over the years, smiling as you see Coryo walk up onto the stage.

He waves, and people whistle and clap, and the smile on his face seems a little more genuine than it normally is during these speeches. Of course, though, this is his final address before he no doubt gets voted in as president, and you know that he is excited.

"Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for coming out tonight..." He says, in a subtle cue to get people to quiet down so he could speak, a drink still in his hand that he delicately hovers above the podium next to him. "This has been such an incredible opportunity for both of us running, and I must say, it's been fun." He tips the glass toward the other table at the front, and your eyes follow the movement to the other candidate, your friend and former classmate, Hilarius Heavensbee. They've never gotten along, and you know Hilarius wants nothing to do with this job. Not really. It makes you sad, a little bit, that his family would push him this far when he had confided in you in his freshman year that it wasn't what he wanted.

The man just gives Coryo a polite but nervous smile, taking another sip out of his own champagne glass. From where you were, you could see his hand trembling. You knew he would have to go next, and Coriolanus Snow was always a tough act to follow.

"Now, I am very happy about this turnout, because I have two important announcements to make." He continues, and whispers fill the room. You look over at Sejanus, a slight look of shock on your face. You didn't know he had anything special to announce, and he always kept you in the loop on everything. Sejanus just shrugs, looking back up at Coryo again. It must not actually be a big deal- it was probably just thanking some more people who have donated to his campaign.

"Firstly," He clears his throat, taking a step to the side as the screen behind him lights up. "For just a moment, see me as your head game maker and forget all about me running for president. Or don't, actually, maybe keep that in mind, but at the back of your mind." He chuckles, the little joke making the audience laugh. He was much more personable now than he once was, you smile a little as you remember helping him write his earlier speeches in a way that would make him more likable. "With the help of my fellow candidate and personal good friend, we are trying something new when it comes to The Hunger Games."

When he speaks, your heart drops and you sit up a little straighter- feeling all eyes on you as you just focus on him. For the first time, he looks down at you and gives you a small smile, the slightest nod in an effort to reassure you that it wasn't as scary as it sounded. You swallow and just keep your smile on as best as you can, ignoring all the stares.

"So, we all love The Games. They're exciting, the stakes are high, and I know every year we all pick our favourite tributes to root for and it's hard to watch them fall but, god, do I know better than anyone how good it feels when they win." Your cheeks burn intensely as Coryo sends a smile and a wink your way, and the screen behind him flashes to a picture of the two of you, taken after your shared university graduation just a couple of years ago. You were both smiling, but he was looking at you as he held you tight around your waist, and you looked into the camera and held up a three-finger salute. People are laughing and awe-ing at the photo of the two of you, and you laugh nervously, looking over at Sejanus with slightly panicked eyes.

You would be absolutely fine with this if he had just run it by you before, and you knew that whether you liked it or not, the Games were an integral part of who you were now, and always would be- but you certainly didn't want your name on anything to do with these new changes they're making. But, he wouldn't be talking about you at all if he knew you would hate it. You had to remind yourself of that.

"So, you all know my beautiful Y/N, of course, we're all big fans of hers here," Coryo says, gesturing to where you were sitting and you let out a nervous laugh, shaking your head at him in a way that would appear teasing to everyone else while he waits for everyone to finish clapping for you. "Don't get embarrassed already, darling, I've got a bit more to say about you so just sit tight, okay? Nothing bad, I promise." He says to you, looking into your eyes even as he stands up on the stage, everyone's laughter echoing in the background.

"So, I have known Y/N and her outstanding mind for years now. The Games are what brought us together when we were both just kids, but you all already know that story so I'll spare you the details. The bottom line is, I am so proud of the woman she has become. She's written two books that will soon become three, she graduated in the top three percent of our class with only a District education to build on, and she is the single most well-spoken, well-mannered, beautiful, and caring woman I have ever met. Truly, she has changed my entire outlook on life." He says, talking more so to the audience than to you, knowing that you're so embarrassed by this. And he would be correct. "It has truly been a privilege to know her, and to love her."

"But that was a long journey for us both, and a seemingly endless uphill battle for her recovery, despite her strength. The Games can be scary, let's be totally honest. It's life or death, and winning will change you, but Y/N came out the other side and wanted to make a difference for her family and that inspired me. And she continues to inspire me every day." Coryo says, pausing to take a sip of his champagne again. "So, all of this is to say, I'd like to thank her for all her support through my education, this campaign, and through the life we're building together. She inspired this idea in me and with the help of my fellow game makers as well as the Plinth family..." You look over at Sejanus as he continues, suddenly realizing he must have known about what was happening. He keeps a small smile on his lips as he watches, refusing to make eye contact with you.

"This," Coryo says, turning to look up at the screen while a picture comes up of a small cul-de-sac of beautiful homes. "Is just the beginning of the Victor's Rehabilitation Initiative."

You tilt your head, a shocked and confused smile on your face as you take in the photo and try to decipher what he's talking about.

"So, recently, Y/N has been more open with everyone about the struggles that came with being crowned a victor in our Games. Yes, they get to walk away with their lives, but what if winning meant something more? What if it meant security for them and their families, so they're not returning to their Districts with no sense of what to do next? That, everyone, is what this program is for. To help the strongest of them find a purpose again, and to encourage the bravest of Panem's children to get back on their feet after such an impressive feat as winning the Games."

You have to very consciously force your jaw to stay shut when you realize what he is saying, clapping along with everyone else while your smile relaxes into something more genuine. You knew that he wanted to abolish the Games altogether, and you knew that no matter who won the election, they wouldn't proceed for much longer. This was the first step in that direction, and you were flooded with emotions. Pride, excitement, relief.

"For ten years, until the beginning of the mentorship program, our victors were cast aside. Never to be heard from again after their win, I, for one, became curious as to what happened to them after the Games as soon as I met Y/N, and I have heard that question from many of you as well since we were all given the pleasure of getting to know her." Coryo's smile is one of pride and excitement, sparing a glance at you as he allows the audience to have their responses. So far, all seemingly positive despite the present undertones of him caring about the people in the Districts. He was a smooth talker, he knew exactly how to command a space and get people to believe what he wanted. And he was using it for good. "I mean, how many other victors have something extraordinary, just like her, that won't be utilized or nurtured? We never knew."

"From now on," He continues, the crowd quieting down. "Our victors will be given homes in what we've decided to call Victor's Villages in each of the Twelve Districts. They'll have ensured security for themselves and their families, and a generous sum of prize money to help them with whatever they need. Whether that's medical attention, both physical and emotional, or, if they so choose, when they reach the appropriate age, they could apply at our university to further their education. Though, between you and I, admittance is not guaranteed." He winks at the end and it's accompanied by laughter, which you try and go along with, but you're too close to tears to even process fully what was going on. This was a huge step in the right direction, even if like he said, acceptance was not guaranteed. "What I mean, is that it will be up to them. They can live their lives to the fullest, just like our gem, Y/N."

He looks at you again, and you can really only see his blurry form through your tears until someone is handing you a handkerchief to dry your eyes while people clap and cheer over the idea.

This was something you couldn't have imagined years ago. This was everything you've wanted since the Games- to make a difference, for people to care. And it was happening right before your eyes. Thanks to him. Thanks to you.

"And with that," Coryo says after a few moments, waiting for the crowd to quiet down after taking in your reaction. "We can move on to my second announcement, which is my formal withdrawal from the presidential campaign."

Gasps fill the room and your smile disappears, a hand coming up to your mouth as you look up at him, shocked and confused with the announcement that blindsided even you.

"Are you happy here?" You ask quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace of the evening as you walk from your parent's house back to your own in the Victor's Village.

"I couldn't be happier." Coryo replies through a soft sigh, swinging your hand gently as it's clasped between you.

"Are you sure?" You say again, feeling a little uncertain despite weeks of his endless reassurance that this was, in fact, what he wanted.

To him, this scenario was perfect. He could keep his job as head gamemaker, planning to only return to the Capitol for a few months or so every year for the Games. He knew that wouldn't last much longer, though, not with Hilarius Heavensbee in office. Coryo gives it a few years and a few major "accidental" mistakes on his part for the viewership of the annual event to die out and open the door for the president to call them off, just like he had always wanted to.

And every day Coryo would wake up to see you in your happy place, the only place you'd ever felt truly at home. He was more than happy to give it all up for the greatest sake of seeing you smile.

"Of course." He smiles, never growing tired of telling you the same thing over and over again if it meant he could ease your mind.

The moonlight bounces off his in a way that makes you think it could be glowing if you didn't know any better.

"I told you that I would be. Years ago. You remember?"

"Of course I remember."

He lets out a breathy laugh at your reply, shaking his head. "That was a foolish question. I don't think you've ever forgotten a single word anyone has ever spoken to you."

"Sure I have." You say, tilting your head as you look up at him, trying to catch the same moonlight reflect in the blue of his eyes as you walk down the path. "I just don't forget... the important bits."

"I will try my best to take care of you while you're here."

"My honest, best advice? Figure out a way to escape."

"I can't have killed them all for nothing."

"You are not a beast."

"Please, don't walk away again."

"I survived because I had to learn to love you."

"Like in your books?" His voice interrupts the swirling of speech from years past, and you shrug.

"Not exactly... it feels different. Because I can hear it, still." You explain, voice dropping into something more quiet as the remnants of your fear eats away at the back of your mind, the cold night breeze imprinting your skin.

"God, the way your mind works, love." He says, and as you look up at him to be met with an expression of pride that always changes everything. "You amaze me every day."

You stay quiet, cheeks getting hot as you look back down at the path.

"Are you happy?" Coryo asks after a moment, eyes never daring to leave your profile as you walk next to him, hardly more than a silhouette in the dark. But certainly more than a ghost, now.

"I am." You reply, the smile creeping back onto your lips. "Such hours are beautiful to live, but hard to describe..."

He hums softly in response. That was a yes, but also a no in the most you fashion possible. His heart remains heavy in his chest knowing that there is nothing more he can do for you to help you heal besides be present. "Is there anything more I can do?" He asks anyway, hoping that maybe you would come up with something.

You shake your head, giving him a tight-lipped smile laced with reassurance.

"Well, then..." He sighs, rather dramatically. "I did have an idea, you know, something that might make you happy. Even just for this one beautiful hour."

You let out a laugh, squeezing his hand a bit. "If that was you asking me if we could-"

"I would like to marry you." He says, for the first time ever, not feeling guilty about interrupting you.

You stop in your tracks, and he stops with you instantly as if he were waiting for it, his hold on your hand not faltering for a second.

"I... you-"

"Darling," He starts, stepping in front of you now, blocking out the moon but hardly putting a dent in the presence of the stars over his shoulders, their soft light reflecting off his blonde curls. "I do love nothing in the world so well as you."

Your shock and confusion begins to wear off as he speaks the familiar words, and you laugh softly. "In your own words, Coryo."

He tilts his head at you, clearly not having expected that kind of response. He expected a lot of things. He planned for everything that could go wrong, he prepared for rejection, for tears, panic, even, but he did not expect that. "I, uh..." He chuckles nervously, giving his head a quick shake to get himself back on track.

He had read that play just for you. Just for this- because he knew how much you loved it, and he remembered the joy it brought you. The smile on your face when you told him about it that day at the lake had never left his mind.

"If you ask me in your own words, I shall say yes." You assure him, hands gripping tighter onto his despite your surprisingly calm demeanor.

"I thought you would like that... You know, knowing you..."

He's quick to defend himself, and your eyes almost sparkle as you look up into his own. "We should have learned by now that our story is our own, yes?" You ask. "We are not Beatrice and Benedick, or Laurie and Amy, or even Romeo and Juliet, just like I used to think we were supposed to be when my days were numbered. I thought I wanted one of those stories to be mine at least once before I died, but I was wrong." You say, taking in the embarrassed flush of his cheeks even in the dim lighting. "You are you, and I am me. No matter what you say I will be happy to marry you, so long as you ask me yourself, and not as someone else."

"Alright then." He gives you a curt nod, a smile on his face as he lowers himself in front of you, careless of the dirt that would no doubt cake into the knee of his pants. "You're everything to me, Y/N/N. My world... my heart, my soul. I didn't know what love was until I met you. I've spent the entirety of my adult life learning to love you, and I never intend to stop. Not even for a moment, so please, let me marry you, love."

"A Coryo indeed." You say softly, recalling the first day you had met him- when you only knew him as Coriolanus, and how far you both had come since then. The growing smile on your lips twitches and you nod, holding his hand a little tighter and attempting to pull Coryo back to his feet. "Of course I will. Nothing would make me happier."

He stands again and very quickly his arms are around you, holding you just as tight as they always had.

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl , @dreamyysouls , @rockstarbfs , @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie , @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore , @cascadingbliss

if you want to join the taglist for future fics (requiem, michigan cherry, etc.) as well as the bonus content for this fic, follow me over on @runningfrom2am-library and turn on post notifs! all i do over there is reblog my own writing, so it's effectively a taglist :)

thanks again for being here.

xx, raye

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illdowhatiwantthanks · 6 months

Text

Masterlist & Request Guidelines

Requests are closed right now, but the Masterlist is always open! 🫶🏻

MASTERLIST

Olivia Benson (Law & Order: SVU)

Can You Stay?

Texts from Olivia Benson

Eyes Open

When Worlds Collide (x daughter!reader)

Alex Blake (Criminal Minds)

What You Want (18+)

Inside Your Head

Texts from Alex Blake

Haircut

Alex Cabot (Law & Order: SVU)

Alex Cabot x Reader Headcanons

After General Anesthesia

Alex Cabot x Casey Novak x Reader SFW Headcanons

What You Give

Texts from Alex Cabot (18+)

Carol Danvers (Marvel)

Forgetting

Find Your People (x sibling!reader)

Rosa Diaz (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

A Hard Day

Just Playing

Headcanons: Coming Out to Rosa Diaz as Transmasc

Passenger Princess

A Little Lunch

Penelope Garcia (Criminal Minds)

N/A

Lee Harker (Longlegs)

Cocooned

The Halloween Party

Jennifer Jareau (Criminal Minds)

The Dogs

The Intruder

Fight or Flight (x daughter!reader)

Texts from Jennifer "JJ" Jareau (18+)

The Aftermath

Johanna Mason (The Hunger Games)

Home Again

Casey Novak (Law & Order: SVU)

Clueless

Someone Will See

First Time (18+)

Sunday Mornings

She Likes You Anyway

Empty House (18+)

You're Safe Now

Home for the Holidays

Take Me Out to the Ball Game (18+)

I Need You To

Your Brother's Wedding

Casey Novak x Reader Headcanons

After General Anesthesia

Panic! At the DA's Office

Alex Cabot x Casey Novak x Reader SFW Headcanons

May the Fourth Be With You

Changes

With the Crack of a Bat

Just One Kiss

Texts from Casey Novak

They Go Low

Getting Older, Too

Interrogations

When Worlds Collide

Frozen Oranges

Maggie Pierce (Grey's Anatomy)

Just as Friends

Emily Prentiss (Criminal Minds)

The Surprise Series Masterlist

Coming Out

Let Me Keep You Safe (18+)

Emily Prentiss x Reader Headcanons

Shelter from the Storm

Don't Lie to Me

Burning (18+)

Tracing You

Tiny (x daughter!reader)

Doxxed

Control (18+)

The World's Largest Box of Condoms (x daughter!reader)

Touchy (18+)

Texts from Emily Prentiss (18+)

White Fang

Arizona Robbins (Grey's Anatomy)

N/A

Natasha Romanoff (Marvel)

N/A

Amelia Shepherd (Grey's Anatomy)

Sick Call

Aces

Tea for Two

Strap Up (18+)

Postpartum (18+)

Playing It Safe (18+)

You're Mine (18+)

The R Word

Left Unsaid (18+)

Texts from Amelia Shepherd (18+)

Callie Torres (Grey's Anatomy)

N/A

Cristina Yang (Grey's Anatomy)

N/A

REQUEST GUIDELINES

If you have requests for characters outside of the above, please feel free to send them on anyway! The above are just characters I've written for before. If I'm familiar with the character/source material and the request meets my parameters, I'll be happy to give it a shot!

PARAMETERS:

I only write for characters who are women. No men here. Sorry, folks.

I only write x reader. I don't really enjoy writing about already-existing relationships or character ships. I've done a couple of x daughter!reader and x sibling!reader fics, and I'm happy to do them, but to be honest I very much prefer romantic fics.

I only write for readers and characters with v*lvas. I absolutely welcome non-binary/gender non-conforming characters/readers. Just be aware that, where smut is concerned, I only feel confident writing about humans with v*ginas.

I don't feel comfortable writing dark!characters or smut that's degrading. Kinks and other smut-related requests I take on a case-by-case basis. But I absolutely will not write anything that even gets close to the line of non-consensual. No shade to you if the above are things you enjoy reading/writing, they're just personally not for me.

Autistic readers are so welcome! I love reading and writing x autistic!reader fics!

I do feel comfortable writing about the aftermath of trauma (sexual or otherwise), most mental illnesses, etc. I enjoy a good hurt/comfort fic and, as someone who's dealt with both of the above, I know it can be very comforting to read something that makes you feel like you're cared for and safe.

I also really enjoy writing headcanons, so feel free to request those as well! The same rules apply for headcanons that apply for fics.

Send those requests on, bbs!

#fanfic #fanfic writers #fanfic requests #x reader #x reader fics #x autistic reader #autistic writers #law and order svu #svu #criminal minds #grey's anatomy

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redactedrem · 5 months

Text

You know what? Fuck you. *Ponifies Batman*

Guys I'm so excited to share my newest project of ponifying the Batfam, it started out small with the hypothetical "I wonder what Batman would be like in a mlp universe." And then the project kept getting bigger and bigger.

If anyones interested in my world building/ headcanons surrounding this project, you can see it under the cut. (I didn't want to make the post too long.)

Incase anybody couldn't read my bad handwriting, I gotchuuu.

-(First pic) Bruce Wayne: Bruce had got his cutiemark the night of his parents death, after the grief had broken his spirit and he realized that he never wanted anypony else to feel the same pain as he does. (He has a fake cutiemark to cover up his obvious destiny)

- The first pic is pretty self explanatory, but I want to make it clear that Bruce's destiny isn't "My parents are dead so now I dress up as a bat and beat up mentally ill folk". Because I've seen people on here give hot takes on cutiemarks that directly link them to a ponies destiny.

This goes for specifically in the mlp fandom but (for the sake of being on topic) I'll use the the example of that one post where someone gave the hot take that Jason would get his cutiemark in the warehouse right before he dies (or after he dies? smthing like that) because "It would be really fucked up to know that you were always destined to die." And listen, I can appreciate some good Jason Todd whump as the next guy but knowing that this would be based in a mlp universe . . . just doesn't sit right with me.

It sounds less magical that way. Its like saying that Rainbow Dash was always meant to be the fastest flyer, so theres no point in trying to compete with her. So uhm, trying to stay on topic here. My personal hot take is that a pony's cutiemark is symbol of something that they do/ a skill or talent that they have that makes them happy. And whats a more magical and fulfilling destiny than doing something that makes you happy for the rest of your life?

Looping back to Bruce, he didn't get his cutiemark the moment his parents died, but I like to think that he got it sometime later on in the night. After hours of being checked on by the police, getting looked at by the paramedics, and after Alfred took him home. Its 1:40ish in the morning and tiny foal-Bruce is just staring at his bedroom wall feeling numb and dissociated to hell. And sometime after processing everything that night- he just decides that this is the worst thing that has ever happened to him and that he will do anything to make sure that nopony will ever feel the same pain that he has felt. And then-- Ta da!! Cutiemark!! Too bad neither he or Alfred got to experience the excitement when they both saw it the next day :')

(Edit: I didn't know where to put this detail, but Bruce's fake cutiemark is based off of the "Make It Wayne" TV logo from this fanfic here )

-(Second pic) The Bat: This is heavily inspired by Flutterbat, I know theres canonically already a race of bat ponies made from Lunas stunt as Nightmare Moon. But I chose to go through with the Flutterbat route because batponies are a race, and have bat-like features 24/7. In comparison Fluttershy maintains her pegasus appearance by day and transforms into Flutterbat at night (ALSO with there being implications that there are "Triggers" for her transformations in the day too!!) Which adds the "Vampire." right in front of her batpony title.

I might do a lil comparison chart between vampire batponies and regular batponies in the future or something. But for now I'm focusing on my batpony Bruce Wayne headcanons so yea. My point is that I felt like making Bruce a "vampire" batpony would give him a more solid secret identity with also the bonus of a really metal origin story.

Now we all know that the canonical origin story of batman is that a few months after the tragedy of his parents death, Bruce had fallen into a cave? a well? a pit? of bats and triggered a fear of bats since then. Later on he decides to become Batman so he can invoke the fear of bats he once had into the criminals of Gotham. Yadda yadda yadda.

Now canonically, we don't know the exact science on how Fluttershy turned into Flutterbat. What we do know is that at the time, pony magic is not researched enough for Twilight to be aware that Fluttershys "Stare" is her own form of pony magic and that it would interfere with Twilights spell.

Do you see where I'm getting at here? Uhmm don't ask me what exactly happened in the cave, I'm doing this for fun and thinking about it too hard makes me spiral. But uhmm something something- Bruce looked at a bat in the eye and decided to embrace his biggest fear to fuel his cause, and his already traumatized and fucked up pony magic had transformed his body- something something. (Edit: I didn't think about this until now but maybe Fluttershys "Stare" and Bruces "Bat Glare" could be a usage of the same form of magic? Just a thought)

I'll probably come up with a more suitable explanation in the future, but like I said. All of this is just for fun.

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ghostieyanyan · 1 year

Note

If you don’t mind, which yandere twst boys do you see being most likely to exploit a mentally exhausted prefect to kidnap them?

To clarify, I think it can be argued that the prefect would be absolutely done with NRC after six life-or-death situations due to the overblots on top of being forced to adapt to education system of another world and putting up with the quality of students at NRC. You can’t tell me that a school full of villains would treat the only magicless student well. That just screams prime opportunity to manipulate the prefect into leaving NRC to go somewhere “safer” with one of the boys.

Once again, I’m just curious about your thoughts so don’t feel pressured to respond!

yes yes yes!!!

poor perfect tired to the bone from crowly and the other students. if only there was a knight and shining armor that can come and save them.

No longer an accidentally post! But I mean it did help me finish it lol

~Mental-Exhausted!Mc~

Yan!Riddle x mc

Yan!Leona x mc

Yan!Jamil x mc

Yan!Lilia x mc

Warnings: yandere, kidnapping, drug use (shrink potion), abusive behavior, chains, collar, gag, parenthood (gender-neutual), gritting teeth(?) (I know some people hate it so ill put it in here), not a lot of proof-reads,

~~~~~

Riddle

yes, riddle was the first overblot (technically) and after his overblot, he felt awful about how he behaved. he was supposed to look after Heartslaybu but he ended up becoming his mother. he hated himself for that.

So now, not only is he taking better care of his dorm, with the help of his dorm. but whenever he sees you, he tries his best to check up on you.

How are you? Do you need help with any school assignments? etc.

they all had sweet intents at first but over time, you started to look drain.. like the life was sucked right out of you. when he asked ace and deuce, they confirmed that you were just tired of all the overblots and being crowley's lap dog. if only he knew how to help you...

at first he asked, trey and cater about how he should help you. they were mature enough to know, right?

cater, being cater, teased him on "having a crush on the perfect" or how he phrased it "oooohhh you are down bad!! lol" whatever that means...

Trey said that maybe ask the perfect if they do need help. but Riddle knows the perfect, they'll say they're fine even when they're not..

riddle felt lost and swallowed his pride as he dials his mother's number.

his mother was furious with the fact that riddle was facing an issue he cant fix himself but what she said about perfect shocked him.

"well.. maybe if this perfect isn't as perfect as their title, maybe they don't belong in Night Raven College!"

with that... the call ended.

now that he wasn't being held by his mother's strings, he saw red...! no one talks about his perfect like that! but.. she has a point.. (which makes him more frustrated) if perfect is miserable here... maybe they shouldn't be attending NRC. but where would they go...?

when he thought about that, he realized he didn't really want to be away from you... you mean too much to him.

so later that day, he requested you to join him in his room, he need to talk to you. you agreed cause why would you be cautious with someone you trust, plus you were too tired to worry about how strange the request was. he gave you tea and asked if you were okay.. you said yes, just stressed with some classes and drank you tea. it tasted... off.

you feel yourself shrinking.. you were shrinking!

you looked at riddle and he was just smiling at you! he picked you up and placed you into a tea pot.

"it'll be okay, my dear. once i graduate and get us a nice home, we'll live our happy lives away from this stress and... toxic poison. But for now, you'll have to behave. i love you, my dear"

~~~~~

Leona

Whether you noticed him or not, Leona watches you run back and forth, from hallway to hallway. Kinda like a mouse running around for food but also staying hidden. Sometimes your running around helps him sleep or just ease him to a zen.

He'd normally wouldn't bat an eye because you're just a lap dog for that crow. But after time has past. He watched as you get slower, more exhausted. like you're pushing to prove something. It ercked him more than he would like. It hit too close to home for him.

When he finally was able to approach you on the matter, you looked like your soul was taken from you. Something within just snapped. He had enough of this. He made the call and suddenly, savanaclaw students came to your side and dragged you to leona's room. If you try to resist, Leona lucky told them to not hurt you too badly. But accidents happens. With their rough handling, you blacked out.

You wake up with a pretty collar around your neck and a chain attach to it? You look around and this is not your ramshackle room. You tried to sit up for a better look and get quick pulled down by the chain collar. It nearly broke your neck! But Leona would say you're being dramatic.

"Quick moving, im trying to sleep.."

You looked and saw Leona. He was laying on your chest and his legs were holding your legs down. He was like a strange weighted blanket. He wasn't in his school uniform but looks like he's in home attire?

"Where are we, leona..?"

You said, scared cause your literally in the hands of a lion that could kill you really quick..

He ears twitched and he looked up at you, bored. But he let out a smirk.

"Were home~"

It took you a minute to process what he said... home? Apparently your confused was evident on your face and leona let out a long sigh. He moved or above you, pining you down.

"Were at Sunset Savanna palace and WE are both gonna be staying here until I can trust you'll be a good obedient herbivore and stay by my side."

You were lost for words and unconsciously started to struggle under leona. Trying to push him off, kicking your legs, he got really annoyed when you accidentally pinched his tail with the bed and your foot.

His retaliation was to slam you down, knocking the wind out of your lungs. As you were gasping for air, he bit you really hard on your throat. You let out a silent scream. You thought you were going to die. This was your last moment of life.

Leona eventually let's go but quickly replacing his fangs with his hand.

"You WILL be obedient... do I make myself clear.."

That wasn't a question.. it was a demand.

~~~~~

Jamil

Jamil hardly noticed you.. PERIOD.

He's busy not only taking care of scarabia but also their housewarden. While his housewarden takes the credit.. he hated it. And the fact his housewarden is so happy go lucky to him too. Makes his blood boil!!

Jamil truly believed that no one would feel his pain, his struggles.. because everyone sees Kalim "success" before anything!

You and Jamil were in the housewarden meeting, well on the outside of the office during the meeting. Jamil had to be there because Kalim and you were there for Crowley...

You both had a quick moment until you asked him hows he been? He lends his head back against the wall and sighs. You laugh at his actions.

"I get that, hehe"

His eye twitched.

"Do you now..?"

"Heh.. I really do. I'm here for Crowley, even tho he's the Headmage. He's like a spoiled brat with responsibility... and HE knowing more about this world, and the work he does for it, more than I do. But nooo... he still gives it to me!"

Jamil stares at you as you vent about your stress and struggles in NRC. He honestly thought that your life is harder than his! How on the seven do you-?

The doors to the office opens and you and jamil both stand up. The other housewardens walked off and kalim ran to jamil, like a parent picking up their kid in kindergarten.

Jamil sighs, seeing kalim's face makes him exhausting... he quickly looks at you, not turning his head to not make it obvious. You were walking into Crowley's office as he hands you a big stack of papers. He practically saw the light in your eyes fade... he HAS to do something.. but what?

A few days past and he just watched you get more exhausted. The more he watches you the more his feelings for you grows. And the more he watched you get degraded the more he wants to set the world on fire for you..

You couldn't hold a conversation as long as you use to now! What is Crowley making you do?

His hand balled into fist. Then he get an idea.. he's always wanted to do this but never thought about it, there will be come changes to the plan with you in it but it could work!

It was in the evening and he stopped by the Ramshackle dorm. With shaking hands he knocked. He can't believe he's gonna do it.

You answer and he quick took out a cloth from his pocket and covered your mouth. Your struggles were pointless with his strength and your muffled screams wasn't going to be heard by anyone since you practically lived in the middle of nowhere. You went limp and he smile grew.

You woke up, chained, gaged, and blindfolded. You didn't know where you were you were so scared.. but you hear foot steps...

"Good morning, my little desert flower~ im sorry I had to contain you like this, I can't risk anymore seeing you. But once we leave the Isle of Sages, ill let you see."

~~~~~

Lilia

Lilia has been watching you since that first day you came here. How much chaos your presence cause, not including Grims presence, was amazing.

He'd be lying if he said he didn't feel something for you after that first day.

Whenever you're doing anything, he watches. And if hes busy, he has his bats watch you instead. They'll report any and everything about you. Including the dark circles appear under your eyes.

To say he was a little pissed... was an understandment. How dare the Crow hurt someone he cared for..

Lilia had half a mind to just get rid of Crowley with a big display of his remand.. but his kids will be scar so probably not.

He'd would think about if for a bit and told himself, why not just take you to live in Briar Valley? You could live there and he'd support you and care for you. You have a caring personal type with how much you take care of those first years.

You'll make a perfect parent...

Lilia stopped by Ramshackle dorm for a "surprised visit". You thought his strange behavior was just lilia being a strange guy? Meanwhile lilia felt like he was young again when he's with you. He felt shy and anxious. He was all fidgety and not making 100% eye contact with you.

Oh by the seven, you stir something within him and its not unwelcomed.

"Lilia? I don't mean to be rude but.. umm... why are you here..? You kinda came at a bad time.. Crowley has some paper work he wants me to fill out for him.."

Lilia fidgeting stop and if you had his super hear, you'd hear him grit his teeth for a moment.

He flips around suddenly and gets a unsettling smile.

"I came because I just remembered a old story and I wanted to tell someone before it slips my mind!"

You stared at Lilia but nodded for him to continue.

"Do you remember when I told you about the story of the Thorn Fairy? And how she put a curse on this cute little human~?"

With every word he spoke, he got closer to you.. you tried to make some distance but it quickly was put to a halt when lilia grabbed your arm.

"L-ilia.. You're hurting me.."

You tried to pull away but nothing can compete with Lilia's strength.

"Did I also tell you that with skill and focus, a powerful mage, can change the effect of such a powerful spell~?"

You're particularly trembling at this point. He got up really close to you and he shows you a small sewing needle.

"I promise, it won't be too long. Just long enough for everyone to stop looking for you~"

{I didn’t give Lilia an art piece because I drew something similar already}

#twst fanart #twst #twst headcanons #twst wonderland #disney twst #yandere twst #art #digital art #disney twisted wonderland #twst x reader

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cupidlovesastro · 1 year

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𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚘𝚒𝚍 𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚞𝚜 𝟽𝟶𝟼𝟼 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚜

what does nessus represent?

nessus represents abusive behavior. also abuse that may have not happened to you, but was witnessed. other things this asteroid also represents is manipulation, unhealthy dynamics, harmful behavior, power, control, revenge, and guilt. this placement symbolizes ways you have been a victim, ways you may hurt others or be prone to hurting others, or both.

✃1st house- destruction of identity, bad first impressions, criticized for appearance, scars/ scarring, intimidation, negative energy, negative aura, aggressive impression, overly dominant, visible power trips, lying about identity, misleading information about a person, no sense of self/ identity

✁2nd house- poor money management, unstable financial situation, using money to get away with things, bribery, using money as a reason to stay with someone, poverty, toxic work environment, toxic boss, unhealthy work ethic, poor spending habits, skewed priorities, believing money is the only thing that makes you happy, unpredictable day to day routines, workaholic, being forced to work, doing bad things for money, greediness, valuing objects over people, skewed morals and values, cycles of bad habits

✃3rd house- negative thinking habits, delusions, poor communication, manipulation, guilt tripping, gaslighting, bad relationship with siblings, black sheep out of siblings, antisocial, poor education, abusive school environment, bullying, cyber bullying, intrusive thoughts, suicidal thoughts, thoughts of harming others , mental abuse, mental illness, thoughts of superiority, revenge, power, and control, neurological disorders, depression, anxiety, social anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder

✁4th house- toxic mother/ mother figure, bad family relationships, mommy issues, bad home life, abusive family, black sheep of the family, hard time connecting with women, bad relationships with women, issues with femininity, poor emotional development, hard time controlling emotions, thoughts of controlling, harming, over powering women, misogyny, bad emotional regulation, mood disorders, bad self image, little to no foundation, harming family, more aligned with your masculine side, toxic masculinity

✃5th house- toxic romantic relationship, horrible relationship dynamics, cheating, lying, manipulative partner(s), affairs, intense and short lived relationships, karmic relationships, one night stands, bad romantic influences, thoughts of harming, controlling, skewed beliefs of romantic relationships, seeking revenge on a partner, hatred for children, low fertility, miscarriages, child endangerment, neglect, abuse, poor or negative self expression, bad impressions, dramatic, drama seeking, over indulging into hobbies, not having enough or lacking hobbies, no creative outlet, being told your art is bad, distant from their inner child, deeply wounded inner child, depression, mood disorders, personality disorders

✁6th house- animal abuse, animal neglect, no stability, no rules, no boundaries, no restrictions, poor hygiene or lacking examples of proper hygiene, toxic work environment(s), toxic bosses or coworkers, sense of worthlessness, struggles with feeling like enough, neglect of hygienic needs, messy living area, being told your dirty or nasty, being forced to do house chores, workaholic, only sense of belonging is through accomplishments in jobs, doing jobs that make you lose dignity, lack of discipline

✃7th house- abusive relationships, abusive marriages, bad relationship dynamics, no sense of equality in the relationship, one sided dynamic, hot and cold partner, overly dominant partner, manipulation, unbalanced relationship, trust issues, wanting a partner to be completely dependent on you, need for control, clinginess, bad business partner(s), business partner who is unethical, greediness from a business partner, bad business deals, poor business decisions

✁8th house- sexual abuse, hypersexual , sex repulsed, fear of intimacy, fear of emotions intimacy, secrets, doing sneaky things, lying about stuff, never letting anyone in your heart/ mine, shared bank account being poorly managed, using nudes as blackmail, exploiting someone’s body, hard time unionizing with others, those that try to unionize are treated badly

✃9th house- moving place to place constantly which led to lack of stability, being told your beliefs are dumb , manipulated into believing negative things, religious trauma, toxic religious community, raised in a racist house hold, judgement towards race, culture, religion, ignorance for other people, being forced to drop out, being told college isn’t for you, dream crushing, bad at academics, toxic teachers, bullying, no justice faced, issues with the justice system, being belittled for your thoughts and opinions

✁10th house- joining careers that you never wanted to join, being treated badly in work environments, being told you weren’t going to succeed in life, being discouraged from long term goals, bad reputation, someone lying to create a bad reputation for someone else, rumors, gossiping, cancelation, being looked down upon by the public, toxic masculinity, more aligned with feminine side, wanting to cause harm to men, no father figure or a bad father figure, abuse from father figure, being famous for something bad, toxic femininity, daddy issues

✃11th house-abuse from a group of people, abuse from group homes, bullying from friends, fake friends, gossip, rumoring, hard time connecting with people on a platonic level, desires to control, hurt, dominate, or seek revenge on a friend, feeling like an outcast, apathy for humanity, desires to rule the world, cults, harmful communities, manipulation from communities, manipulation from friends, being told your dreams won’t come true, having your wishes be belittled, dream crushing, discouraged to look into a brighter future

✁12th house- never ending toxic cycles, nightmares of trauma, flash backs from trauma, unhealthy core beliefs, lacking closure, hard time healing, resistance to healing, someone not allowing someone else to heal, trauma around spirituality, religious trauma, having witchcraft done on someone, trauma from haunted area, connections with the after life, never coming forward about abuse, burying bad memories, not seeking help on trauma, karma, karmic relationships, hard time manifesting, blockages

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justsomerandomfanfic · 7 months

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Look At You - Eddie Munson X Female Reader

Title: Look At You

Eddie Munson X Female Reader

Additional Characters: Reader's friend, Hellfire Club (Mentioned), Reader's mother, and Chris (OC)

Loosely Inspired By: One Of Your Girls by Troye Sivan

WC: 11,764

Warnings: Parties briefly mentioned, vomit briefly mentioned, alcohol (teens mentioned drinking), drugs, Reader's a bit shy in the beginning, movie references, nicknames, Reader's mother is emotionally/verbally/mentally abusive, fear of needles, friends to lovers, yelling, crying, cursing, teasing, banter, flirting, very brief mentions of food issues, angst, and fluff

You scrunched your shoulders closer to yourself, your hands clutched your book to your chest with an iron grip as your friend dragged you into some party. Your senses were overwhelmed by the loud pulsating music rattling the entire house, echoing and reverberating throughout your body as you pushed through the hordes of drunk teenagers; the smell of vomit and alcohol made you scrunch up your nose in disgust.

It was the perfect combination to make the night miserable; the smell, the noise, and most importantly, the people. You were not very much of a people person. When meeting someone, or talking to someone new, you were quiet; shy. But, once you grew comfortable with the person, you would talk and talk.

Parties were the bane of your existence, and so was your friend. You loved your friend dearly, but you hated when they convinced you, more like peer pressure, you into going to dumb parties. You got out of them somewhat, faking an illness or your need to finish your homework, but that would only help you for so long. You could've been home, eating junk food, watching ‘Labyrinth’ for the ten millionth time as you idolized Jennifer Connelly.

Your sweet daydreams were quickly cut short though as your friend pulled you into the main room full of sweaty teens, dancing wildly around each other as the lights from the ceiling threw shadows all over the place. You cringed at how much louder the music had gotten as ‘You Spin Me Round’ played from a large speaker in the corner of the room.

Your friend's hand around your bicep shook, gaining your attention. You turned to them, seeing the bright smile on their face and the excitement in their eyes. You'd feel happy for them, but you were very overwhelmed and uncomfortable at that moment.

"Hey!" They called over the music, their body already dancing to the music slightly. "I'm going to say hey to Brian and Allison. Go to the kitchen and get a drink, you need it! Loosen up and have fun for once!"

You had to suppress the urge to roll your eyes as you watched your friend leave you, rushing to a small group of teens, red solo cups and beer bottles in their hands. You felt fear engulf you, your whole body growing cold as you looked around the room rapidly, your eyes darting at the dancing teens and the bright party lights. Your heart began to race in your chest, you couldn't breathe, and it was all becoming too profoundly difficult to stay in that room. You mustered up the strength to push through the crowd, as if going through a maze of people you tried to squeeze through; finally making your way out the back sliding door.

Breathing deeply as you stood outside, you let out a breath of relief. Your head spun a little bit, feeling dizzy at the sudden change in environment, but you tried your best to stay calm. Looking down at your hands, you let out another breath, glad your book made it out of that warzone without a rip or tear.

"You okay?" You heard a voice speak up, much louder than the music pumping behind you; muffled by the sliding glass door. You quickly turned to the voice, seeing a guy leaning against the wall of the house, knee bent and foot pressed against it; his hands stuffed in his pockets. He was looking up at the sky, not even looking at you. You stared at him before you looked around you, no one else was outside, aside from you and him.

You swallowed thickly, "Me?" You asked, turning back to the young man, slightly shrouded by the awning; casting him in a dark shadow.

"You're the only one out here with me, correct?" He asked, pushing off of the wall to turn and finally look at you. "You looked pretty frazzled when you came out." He then added, making you narrow your eyes at him slightly.

"Why do you care?" You asked, normally you were so forward when talking to new people, but you were really annoyed, tired, and wanted to go home.

"I'm not like those brain dead zombies in there," He said, stepping into the light, finally allowing you to see who you were talking to. "I'm Eddie."

He had long, curly dark brown hair, brown eyes, and a rockstar type of style. You watched as he pulled his hands out of his black ripped jeans pockets, noting the rings adorning some of his fingers as he crossed his arms; noticing his leather jacket with a denim vest over it. It looked homemade, with rips and tears; patches of rock bands and pins. He was cute, you'd give him that. Looking back up at his face, you realized that you should've been talking a while ago.

"I- I'm Y/N." You introduced yourself, noticing a small tin box of some kind hanging from a clasp from his belt loop. "And I'm fine."

This... Eddie, just smiled at you, chuckling, "I'll believe that when I see it. You're shaking like a leaf." He mentioned, making you look down at yourself, seeing that you were in fact shaking. Well, mostly your hands. You clutched your book tighter, trying to stop them.

You looked up at the sky, or what you could see of it, away from Eddie and the partygoers. "I'm fine." You repeated softly, and Eddie hummed, looking you over.

"Not a party person?" He asked, and you remained silent as he continued, "Or people person? I mean, I get that. I don't care for it either." He shrugged as you looked at him again.

"Then why are you here?" Only to watch Eddie smirk, leaning his side against the side of the house.

"I could ask you the same." He said with a laugh.

"Touche." You mumbled as Eddie sighed softly, glancing off to the darkened yard before looking back at you.

"I'm here on business, but you... What about you?" He asked, and you sighed, looking back up at the night sky; seeing a few stars past the dark clouds.

"My friend dragged me here." You began, biting your lip briefly, "I didn't want to go, if they didn't take me I would-"

"Be cuddled up in a comfy blanket, watching a romcom or something?" Eddie interrupted you, and you shrugged one shoulder up.

"More or less. That is usually my evening. Relaxing or doing homework." You answered, growing more and more comfortable with Eddie as you talked to him. “But I’m not really a romcom kind of girl.”

Eddie hummed, before he grabbed the tin box at his hip, opened it, and pulled out what you assumed was a blunt. You assumed right as he brought it up to his lips, pulling out a lighter from his back jean pocket. He flicked it open with his thumb, before pushing down the thumbwheel. He did it a couple of times, with no luck of any flame. Sighing out his nose, he leaned his head back against the wall, frustrated. You stared at him, pursing your lips as you slowly dug into your pocket, pulling out your own lighter. Testing it, you pushed down the thumbwheel, sending out a little orange flame.

Eddie looked up at the sound of your lighter, "Wow, do you think you could give me a light here?" He asked you as you shut your lighter, pushing your finger over the metal cover, feeling the engraving.

Walking over, you moved your book under your arm as you stopped in front of Eddie. Flicking open the zippo lid, you created the flame as Eddie reached down to grab your wrist. You were surprised at how gentle he was as he raised your hand up, moving the end of his blunt to the open flame. Standing so close to him, he already smelt like cannabis, but also, surprisingly, strawberries. Letting out a puff of smoke through his nose, Eddie let go of your hand. You immediately missed the warmth, as the cold autumn air chilled your wrist. You quickly pushed that thought out and took a step back.

"Thanks, babe." Eddie winked at you, making your face warm up at the sudden nickname.

He then took another deep breath, letting out the smoke into the night air; you watched it swirl into nothingness. "You smoke?" He asked abruptly, breaking the silence between the two of you as if he didn't feel the awkward tension that you felt crawling down your spine.

"Ew, no. No. It's my father's." You explained swiftly, and Eddie nodded.

"Wicked," Eddie nodded, taking another drag from his blunt. "Better than my lighter for sure. Broken shit. Gotta get a new one." He mumbled to himself as you watched him.

"You know that's, like, bad for you, right?" You spoke up, “It could kill you.” Your nose scrunching up at the terrible smell as Eddie shrugged.

"Eh, that's just what society tells everyone.” He countered, “Besides, it calms me down, and believe me. I need to calm down." Eddie laughed out before he paused and turned to you, twisting the smoking blunt between his fingers. "I can put it out if you're uncomfortable though... Smoke and all." He offered and you shook your head. You didn't really care that much, you'd probably leave soon anyway; try and find your friend before they get too drunk and go home. Eddie let out the last bit of smoke before he dropped the dead blunt to the ground, crushing it with the heel of his white Reebok sneakers. "So," He began, stuffing his hands into his jeans pockets again. "Tell me about yourself, Y/N."

You turned to him, bewildered that he was still trying to talk to you. You didn't mind it, but normally people didn't talk to you long. Either getting bored of you or the conversation. And normally, you wouldn't be talking to strangers, especially guys. Especially a guy that you barely knew. And who was cute, but that was beside the point. "What's there to know?" You asked skeptically, watching as Eddie shrugged again, his head tilting to the side a bit.

"Well, I've never seen you around school before, which is crazy since I feel like if I saw you, I would've remembered meeting you." He stated, “Plus,” He added, “You seem like a fun girl to talk to." He pointed out, taking you back slightly. "I'd like to get to know you; if you’d let me." He finished, making your cheeks flush in shock and embarrassment.

"You... You want to get to know me?" You asked, bewildered and beyond dumbfounded as you watched Eddie nod his head with a smile on his face.

"I think you're pretty cool, so yeah... I'd like to get to know you." Eddie repeated, and you shook your head.

"I'm not that cool. I mean, we just met, like, ten minutes ago. How can you think I’m cool in that short amount of time?" You asked, making Eddie sputter out a laugh.

"Not cool? Impossible. Your style alone is cool, babe." He gestured to your attire with a hand before stuffing it back into his pocket; it was getting colder, but you didn’t seem to notice.

You looked down at your clothes, your rainbow-striped sweater, blue flared jeans, white socks, and your red hightop Converse. Nothing special, it wasn't like you looked as cool as him. Him and his punk leather, rockstar attitude. He was probably in a band or something. You looked back up at him, clutching your book as you spoke shortly, "Thanks. I like yours too."

Eddie's eyes widened slightly before he gave you a toothy grin, "Why, thank you, my lady." He bowed, making you laugh - a snort escaping - covering your mouth with your hand as his eyes lit up and he stood back up straight. Bringing a hand up, he ran a hand through his hair, his jacket sleeve moving up as he did so. Your eyes widened as you saw his arm, seeing a tattoo on his skin.

"You have a tattoo?" You asked in awe, as Eddie nodded.

"I actually have five." Eddie corrected, pulling down the collar of his band tee to reveal a tattoo on his chest, near his collarbone.

"Five? Wow," You replied, "I've always wanted a tattoo, but my mom is really not okay with them."

Eddie watched as you walked over, leaning against the wall beside him. "Really?" He asked, amazed by you as you nodded, a small smile on your face.

"Yeah, she thinks that it’s devil crap or something. I just think she needs to be more open minded." You replied, before looking up at Eddie. “And it may sound silly, but I never really knew what I would get if I got one… I just knew that I really wanted one - Something - anything.” You shrugged, shuffling the soles of your shoes on the patio concrete before continuing, "If I may, could I see the one?" You inquired and Eddie was happy to answer, pulling his sleeve up to show you his bats. He watched as your eyes lit up, your hand reaching forward, but freezing. You look up with your big eyes, looking right into his brown ones with uncertainty. "May I touch it?"

Eddie just smiled, "Go for it."

You reached out, before pressing your pointer finger along the small bats, outlining them. Your warm touch sent a shiver down Eddie's spine making him hold his breath as he watched you carefully. His brown eyes followed every movement of your finger, goosebumps appearing as your finger brushed against his skin. You were so gentle, kind; it made Eddie's chest feel warm.

"Did it hurt?" You asked, bringing your hand back to your side as you sputtered a short laugh, "Of course it had to of had to, silly questions."

Eddie shook his head, clearing his throat as he slid his sleeve back down. "No, not silly at all. It did hurt, especially my puppet master one, but the least of all was the bats."

You hummed with a small smile, "That's the one thing I'm scared of. I'm not good with pain. Needles scare the crap out of me." You admitted and Eddie’s grin widened, one of his shoes gently knocking into one of yours.

"Well, if you ever want to break some rules, I know a place. And, I'd be happy to tag along." Eddie softly offered, making you pause for a second, before nodding your head.

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind." You laughed, making Eddie’s grin soften slightly. You looked down at your wrist at your watch, seeing the time, your eyes widened, "Oh, goodness. It's very late. I need to get home."

"Need a ride?" He was quick to ask, not wanting your conversation to end, as you bit your lip, glancing inside the house through the glass sliding door; you were unable to find your friend in the crowd. You didn't want to have to go in there and find them. So, weighing your options, you looked up at Eddie.

"Yeah, a ride would be great."

~~~

From then on, you and Eddie were inseparable. Joined to the hip. At school, you ate lunch with him and his club friends, your chair incredibly close to his as you laughed along to something Eddie had said. You even stayed after school when Eddie had his Hellfire club, watching beside him - usually sat upon the cushioned arm of his throne, as he looked over his game as the game’s Dungeon Master.

Every day was a new experience for you. Spending time with Eddie made you forget all about your problems and worries at home. You found it easy to slip into normalcy, laughing with him and joking around. You never thought you would find someone who made you so happy, someone who made it so easy to just be yourself; without the fear of judgment or disappointment.

Eddie had such an easygoing nature about him, always having fun. There was something different about him that made you feel comfortable. And it wasn't long until you realized you had feelings for him. Which really scared you. These feelings... They were dangerous. But… You couldn't help it.

However, it did land you into some inner tumoral. Sometimes, your mind would begin to blank, your thoughts dwindling until all you thought about was how you wanted to run your fingers through his hair or press your lips to his. But just being able to simply sit next to him, listening to his voice, feeling his presence; was enough. That was enough for you.

~~~

Eddie pulled into your driveway, turning off the engine once parked. Turning to you, he watched as you unbuckled and grabbed your bag from between your feet; double-checking your bag to see if you had everything. You then turned to Eddie, seeing that he was already looking at you, startling you slightly, but making your cheeks flush.

"You got everything, babe?" He asked and you nodded, leaning over the middle console to press a kiss to Eddie's cheek.

"Thank you for driving me home, Eds." You replied and Eddie rolled his eyes jokingly.

"Y/N, baby, no need to thank me. It's what best friends do. I’ll call you when I get home." He shooed you along, making you laugh as you opened your door and hopped out.

Walking backwards, you waved goodbye as Eddie pulled out of the driveway, a bright smile on your face. Once he was out of sight, you let out a happy sigh, turning around and heading up the steps to your home. Finding the door already unlocked, like it was most days, you walked on in with a smile on your face. Kicking off your converse, you dropped your backpack at the stairs before passing the living room and heading to the kitchen.

"Y/N." Your mother's voice rang out, making you pause midstep, going back to the living room where your mother sat in her armchair, book in hand. She took her reading glasses off the bridge of her nose, closing them, and placing them on the small table beside her. She then stared at you, a frown on her face, her hands interlaced in her lap, "Have you been with that boy again?" Her tone was stern and demanding, making you bite your lip nervously as you looked down at the ground.

"Yes... Mom, I—" Before you could continue, she cut you off with a wave of her hand.

"Don't 'Mom' me. That boy is bad news. I told you to stay away from him." Her voice rose slightly in pitch and volume with each sentence.

"But-"

"And don't tell me how you feel about this, he's the devil! Playing those- those demonic games-”

"He's not the devil!" You shouted suddenly, causing your mother to jump slightly and stare at you. "I like him, okay?! I like him more than anyone I've ever met! He's my best friend and I can't just not hang out with him anymore." You finished your voice breaking as tears formed in your eyes.

Your mother blinked several times before standing up, walking over to you.

"Oh, my darling honey," She began as she cupped your cheeks in her hands, "It's not safe for you to get involved with those types of boys.” The cadence in her voice sounded like she was speaking to an errant child. “Now, I better not see you around him any longer or we might have to move again." She ended the conversation, pinching your cheek before she left for the kitchen.

You watched her leave, tears streaming down your face, completely heartbroken as you rubbed the cheek she pinched. She didn't understand Eddie, and she never would. But her threat frightened you. You knew that if she caught you with Eddie, she would move the two of you away again. She did it once, she’d do it again.

Grabbing your backpack, you headed straight to your room, forgetting about that snack you wanted as you shut your door. Dropping your bag, you finally let go, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you fell onto your bed. Laying on your stomach, you smashed your face onto your pillow, letting out a small, muffled sob as you began to cry. What else could you do? Before you could even start brainstorming ideas, you jumped slightly when you heard your phone ring, reaching over you, grabbing it, and bringing it to your ear.

"Hello?" You asked, clearing your throat and hoping you didn't sound as sad as you were.

"Hey! Babe! How's my favorite girl doing?"

Eddie.

Of course, it was Eddie. He said he was going to call you.

Your eyes widened as you struggled to sit up straight, "Eddie, you have to be quick, my mom could be listening." You whispered, hoping your mother ignored the phone but you still felt uneasy as you clutched the phone with a death-like grip.

Eddie pursed his lips in thought as he leaned against the wall of his trailer by the wall-mounted phone. You had only told Eddie about your mother once, but Eddie could tell from that one time that your mother was a tough subject for you, so he never pressed you further. Even though he had a lot of questions.

"Okay, okay! Don't worry, babe, alright? I'll be quick. Promise." Eddie assured, hearing movement on the other side of the line, "I just wanted to let you know that the meeting next week has been moved to five. Henderson has a dentist appointment or something after school."

You hesitated, biting your lip. "Okay, that's good to know. Thank you, Eddie." You spoke out with a breath.

Eddie began to twirl the phone cord between his fingers, his eyes staring at an old, discolored spot on the floor by his feet, "Are you okay?" He asked, and it seemed like a dumb question to him. Of course, you probably weren't okay. The way you sounded over the phone, he could hear how upset you were.

You paused, biting your lip, trying to think of anything, anything, to say. "What makes you ask that?" You replied. You hoped he wouldn't notice the slight shake in your voice.

"You sound kind of down," He replied, his voice low, his eyes focused on the discoloration, "I know I can't see you right now, but I bet you got a frown on that pretty face of yours." You sighed, and even though you still felt pretty terrible, hearing his voice, and just him in general, was enough to lift your spirits a little. You didn't think that you would fall even deeper for Eddie, but there you went. It was like your heart belonged to him already. You heard a bit of shuffling on his end before he spoke once more, "I know I said that I'd be quick, and I will, so... I'll see you tomorrow?" You could almost hear the hopeful tone in his voice; though, there was a hint of unsureness lingering there.

"Yeah..." You muttered, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, babe."

You let a small sigh escape you, "Goodnight, Eds."

Hanging up the phone, you hoped to god that your mother wasn't listening in as you slid yourself further onto your bed, your back pressed against the headboard. You wrapped your arms around your knees, resting your chin on them, your bottom lip trembling. Tears slowly began to trickle down your cheeks, leaving tracks in their path, and you buried your face in your arms, allowing yourself to become engulfed in darkness.

~~~

The next morning, you woke up groggy. Clearing the little crust away from the corners of your eyes, you sat up with a small groan. As you got ready for the school day, you tried to remember when you fell asleep last night, but you couldn't remember. Walking to one side of the room, you opened your small dresser, grabbing a pair of pants before starting to really get ready for the day.

You sat on the edge of your bed, fixing the cuff of your red jeans as you leaned to the side slightly, peeking out your bedroom window. Seeing your mother's car gone and missing from the driveway, you let out a small breath of relief, your shoulders dropping.

Sliding your black studded belt through your belt loops, you walked over to your closet. Shuffling through your many hanging shirts of various colors, your hand paused on one, near the back of the closet. Pushing the shirts on their hangers to the side, you pulled the black shirt off the pole and towards you. Holding it up, you couldn't help but smile, your free hand coming up to grasp the soft fabric; rubbing it between your fingers.

The shirt was black with the main print being a graveyard. Rows and rows of cross-shaped tombstones stood, a pair of red hands loomed above, holding strings that dropped down and connected to some of the tombstones. The words, 'Metallica' was in silver in the middle of the shirt, while 'Master Of Puppets,' was printed at the bottom of the illustration.

It was Eddie's and you may or may not have stolen it from him one of the times you visited him at his trailer - and he didn't mind. You usually wore it to sleep, but the scent, which was so perfectly Eddie, had begun to fade, which made you sad. Slipping it off the hanger, you replaced your nightshirt with the band tee, feeling a wave of comfort wash over you as it covered your body.

Grabbing your backpack from near your bedroom door and your denim jacket from the hook, you headed out into the hallway, and down the stairs. As you slid on your black Converse, you side-eyed the clock on the wall, seeing that you did not have enough time to eat before you began your trek down to the high school. And so, with a hungry stomach, you slipped on your backpack and headed out the door.

~~~

As the school day went on, you felt as if you were drowning. Your classes were boring and monotonous as the teacher droned on about the Civil War, giving no real attention to the class except for a few snickers from the students behind him as he wrote on the chalkboard. When the bell finally rang, you quickly packed up all your things and rushed to leave the classroom, eager to get out.

Unfortunately for you, the halls were packed with students, meaning that you could not make your escape without brushing against others. You sighed, running your fingers through your hair as you looked around, hoping to find an opening to get through.

Finding a small opening, you took your chance, speeding through, you maneuvered through the crowd as people gave way to you. Your heart rate increased as you pushed through everyone, making your way towards the cafeteria. Once inside, you let your eyes scan the room, quickly spotting Eddie sitting with his club members. Making your way over, you couldn't help but feel giddy as your legs carried you over to him, unable to hide the huge grin forming on your face.

Turning his head, Eddie's eyes met yours, they brightened, a smile growing on his lips. Standing, he met you halfway, letting out a small grunt as you threw yourself into his arms. Eddie hugged you tightly, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you off the ground as he spun you in circles; making you laugh as you held onto him. When you both stopped spinning, Eddie set you back on the ground. Closing your eyes, you allowed yourself to enjoy this moment, savoring the warmth he provided as he held you close to your chest; rubbing your cheek on his denim vest and leather jacket combo.

Looking up at him, he was already looking down at you, his eyes roamed over your face. You gazed right back into those chocolate-brown eyes of his, feeling the anxiety and sadness just melt away instantly. "Hey." You breathed out quietly, smiling as he pulled you closer to him, his hands finding their place on your waist.

"Hey, there, babe," He spoke softly, moving a stray piece of hair behind your ear. "Looks like somebody missed me." He teased, earning a light slap on his upper arm.

Rolling your eyes playfully, you pouted, "Of course, I missed you, Eds." Eddie chuckled as he nuzzled his nose into your hairline, breathing in the sweet smell of your coconut shampoo.

After a moment, you felt the side of your face buzz, feeling eyes on you. Looking over, you huffed, gaining Eddie's attention. Eddie followed your eyes, seeing his club members staring at you and him. Half of them were trying to muffle their laughter, making Eddie glare at the group.

"What are you airheads looking at? Get back to eating, nothing to see here." Eddie spoke out, his gaze never leaving yours. His tone was firm. With a shrug, the group turned their heads back down to what they were doing, not wanting to draw any more attention than necessary. "Come on," Eddie spoke softly, only to you, "Let's get out of here." You nodded your head, following beside him as he led you out of the cafeteria.

Stepping outside, you and Eddie walked out into the woods by the school, stepping over tree roots and walking around bushes and trees, you finally spotted the old picnic bench. Sitting down, you tucked your legs under the table as Eddie sat down with his legs on either side of the bench; facing you.

After a couple of minutes of silence, Eddie smiled over at you, "Look at you. You look beautiful today. Especially in my shirt."

You laughed lightly, feeling your face flush, "Thanks, Eddie."

"No, I'm serious," He continued, scouting a smidge closer, "I should give you my shirts more often… Actually, just take all my clothes. I don’t need them.”

You shook your head, grinning as you glanced around the woods, "You wouldn't get them back if you did that." You pointed out with a laugh.

Eddie chuckled, shaking his head a bit, his bangs falling into his eyes slightly, "Maybe, maybe not." Eddie replied, turning his body so that his arm was leaning against the table, propping his head up on his hand, "But you do look beautiful today."

"That's the second time now. How many times are you going to compliment me today?" You asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Well," He chuckled, his mouth twisting upwards in amusement, "I can't seem to stop myself."

Your eyebrows raised slightly as you stared down at your lap, you bit your lip. You could feel your heart beating faster, pounding loudly in your chest, your ears feeling slightly warm. You doubted that you would ever get used to hearing him say those things to you. You cleared your throat, glancing back at him, "So," You trailed off, "How was your morning?"

He grinned, chuckling, "Boring, without you." He huffed, "I wish we had the same classes."

"Me too." You nodded your head, "I think History would actually be fun if you were in my class." You muttered, shrugging a shoulder, "I could hardly pay attention."

"Well, you wouldn't pay attention if I was in class with you." Eddie joked, causing you to chuckle slightly.

"You're right." You giggled, fidgeting with your fingers in your lap, watching as the wind blew through his dark, curly locks. "You're such a bad influence on me." Immediately as you said that, your smile slipped, turning into a small frown. Even though you were joking, that was what your mother thought he was.

Eddie leaned forward in his seat slightly, his elbow resting on the table, as he watched you intently, studying the expression on your face, "Y/N? Hey…" Eddie questioned quietly, reaching out and taking your hand in his. "What's wrong, babe?"

You swallowed hard, trying to avoid his gaze as you answered, "Nothing," You cleared your throat, "I'm fine."

Eddie pursed his lips, narrowing his eyes, "I know you're not." He scooted closer, interlacing his fingers with yours, "What's going on?" You looked up at him, you returned to biting your lip. "Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked.

"It's my mom..." You replied softly, running a hand through your hair, "She doesn't like you."

"A lot of people don't like me, sweetheart." Eddie replied nonchalantly, squeezing your hand lightly as he gave you a lopsided grin.

You huffed, "I know. But, she doesn't want me to hang out with you anymore. And when I told her I wouldn't stop spending time with you, she got all mad. She told me that I shouldn't be friends with someone who's... The devil. That you’ll brainwash me." You whispered, looking down at the table, "I- I don't know what to do... I mean, she made me move that last time I made friends with someone she didn't approve of... I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave you." Sighing deeply, you shut your eyes, tears burned behind them as you finished, "It hurts, Eddie."

Silence filled the air between you two. A minute passed before you heard a sigh escape his lips. Opening one eye, you glanced up at Eddie, his brows furrowed in frustration. Leaning forward again, you watched as he reached out, brushing his hand across your cheek; wiping away the lone tear that managed to escape your eye.

"Y/N..."

"And- And, I don't care what she thinks." You whispered, shaking your head. "I just dont- I don't know what I'd do without you." You admitted, sniffling slightly as you stared at him; your brown eyes meeting his chocolate ones.

The corner of his mouth curved upward, a genuine grin spreading across his face, "I don't know what I'd do without you, babe." As he spoke these words, he brought your hand up to his lips, placing a soft kiss on the center of your palm. "You make this shit town a whole lot better."

You blinked a few times, noticing how close you and Eddie were to each other, your cheeks flushed as your heart started racing once more. Licking your suddenly dry lips, you opened your mouth slightly, but no sound came out.

Eddie's eyes were trapped as he observed every detail in your face. The slight hint of your freckles, cheeks, and back to your bright, shimmering eyes; your lashes still wet from your prior tears. His half-lidded gaze then flickered down to your lips, and his tongue traced his bottom lip nervously. As Eddie's gaze lingered on your lips, a mix of emotions swirled in his eyes. Unbeknownst to you, Eddie had always harbored a special adoration for you ever since the night you both met at that dreadful party that you'd been dragged to. He had never met anyone like you before.

His heart would flutter every time you bantered back and forth and the way you would shyly smile in his presence only fueled his hidden affections. In those stolen moments where your eyes met and sparks seemed to fly, Eddie couldn't help but wonder if you felt the same way, buried beneath the layers of playful teasing and genuine friendship.

As you sat there, hand in hand, Your breath hitched as the atmosphere between you and Eddie crackled with an undeniable tension as you sat there, the weight of unspoken words lingering in the air. In a moment of daring courage, you both leaned in, hearts pounding in sync, unsure of what the next second would bring.

As your lips drew closer, a mix of nerves and anticipation enveloped you. Eddie's gaze softened, his usually mischievous eyes now filled with a vulnerability that mirrored your own. The world seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you, suspended in a moment that felt both surreal and inevitable.

And then, in a flutter of breath and hesitancy, Eddie's nose brushed the side of yours, his hot breath caressing your cheeks. Your hand shook slightly as you brushed the tips of your fingers against his cheek, your eyes fluttered as your lips met in the middle; your hearts beating frantically in unison.

Your lips moved together slowly, gently moving against each other as you both explored the taste of each other, each moment was perfect. Every sensation, every smell, every sound seemed amplified. It felt like you were floating in a bubble of bliss, forgetting about everything but each other.

Pulling away, you kept your eyes shut as you pressed your forehead against his, feeling his bangs brush against your eyelashes, a giddy smile finding its way to your features, “Were you serious when you said you give me more of your shirts?”

Eddie chuckled lightly, “If it means I get to kiss you again, then sure.” He mumbled against your lips as his left hand cupped your cheek, his thumb caressing your skin.

You smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his nose before pulling away slightly, your eyes gazing into each other. "Can I have that other Metallica one? The one with the electric chair?" Excitement was clear in your voice as Eddie chuckled, nodding his head, you grinned widely, your eyes sparkling with happiness.

"Look at you…” He muttered, seeing your smile before answering your question, “But, of course." He winked, causing your smile to widen as he leaned forward, his mouth barely grazing over yours, "Anything for you." He murmured before closing the distance between the two of you once again.

~~~

"Are you sure about this, babe?" Eddie asked, his hands holding the steering wheel tightly, driving his van in the next town over from Hawkins. "I mean, you don't have to do this just to piss off your mom."

"I'm not just doing this," You shrugged a shoulder, glancing over at him from the passenger seat, "Don’t you remember me telling you how much I’ve wanted one when we first met?”

"Do I remember?" Eddie asked himself, a small grin growing on his face as he glanced over at you, your eyes meeting his before he turned back to the road, "The way you looked at me when you saw my tattoos... How your eyes lit up, and the smile that crossed your face... The way your lips parted... The way they looked so soft..." Eddie trailed off, "Yeah, no... I don't think I remember." Eddie shook his head as you felt your cheeks burn from his words, making you shake your own head, biting your lip. Oh, how he teased you...

Watching as the many trees passed by, you hummed before continuing, "It sounds like you weren't even paying attention." You answered, amused, resting your elbow on the van's door armrest, holding your head up by the palm of your hand.

Eddie smirked, "Maybe I was too caught up in you to listen to what you were saying," He countered, raising an eyebrow as he glanced over at you for a brief moment, watching as you rolled your eyes, amused.

"If that's true then I doubt you've been listening to anything I have been saying. I swear I have to snap you out of staring at me every five seconds, Eds." You laughed lightly, your eyes falling back on the window as you continued humming under your breath.

"Not my fault you're so beautiful that I can't take my eyes off you, baby." He muttered flirtatiously.

"Shut up," You giggled, throwing your head back against the van's headrest, "You’re making me blush!"

Eddie didn't say another word, a large grin on his face as he pulled up to the familiar tattoo parlor.

As you unbuckled yourself from the passenger seat, Eddie quickly got out and rounded around the front of the van. Opening the passenger side door, Eddie dipped into a low bow, stretching his free hand out to the side as he gave you a grin, "My lady," He spoke in a rather posh voice.

Placing a hand on your chest, you placed your free hand on top of his as you batted your eyelashes mockingly, pretending to gasp, "Oh, my," You spoke, mimicking him, "What a gentleman." You said as you stepped out of the van.

"Only for you." Eddie answered back, your hand staying in his as the both of you began to walk to the front, glass door.

As you both walked a couple of feet, you stepped up onto one of the curb stops, walking carefully so as not to fall; Eddie's hand in yours, watching you as you stepped toe to toe on the cement block. "What are you thinking of getting?" Eddie then asked, as your eyes stared down at your feet.

"I think I'll keep that as a surprise until this artist friend of yours asks..." You muttered with a small smile, coming to the end of the curb stop, stepping off, and looking up at Eddie as he grabbed the door handle of the parlor door.

"Well then," Eddie opened the door, the bell above it jingling, "I'm excited to find out what it is." Entering the parlor, Eddie waved at the man behind the counter. The man was tall, in his late twenties you assumed, and had a remarkable similarity to Kurt Russell from that 'Escape From New York' movie. "Hey! Chris!" Eddie exclaimed as this 'Chris' just gave Eddie a grin, pressing his palms against the counter.

"Hello, Eddie. Brought a friend, I see." He turned his bluey gaze to you, offering his hand as the two of you stopped before the counter, "Hey, name's Christopher, but you can call me 'Chris,' He spoke as you shook his hand, "I can only assume either of you came to get a tattoo. Unless you missed me." He joked, making Eddie huff, his eyes rolling as he flopped his arm over your shoulder.

"You assumed correct, Chris," Eddie spoke, pulling you into his side, "My lovely girlfriend wants a tattoo."

Christopher hummed, nodding his head, "Well, you came to the right place." He clapped his hands together once before pressing them back against the counter before him, his eyes turning back to you, "What did you have in mind? Flowers, some sort of animal, a quote? I can do practically anything."

You just smiled, your mind already picturing the tattoo image that you had in mind. "I want bats." You answered simply, the side of your face burning as Eddie's head turned swiftly to stare at you wide, surprised - and in awe - eyes.

Chris's grin curled into a mischievous one as he quickly glanced at Eddie and back to you, "Bats... Hmm, yeah, I can do that. Let me quickly come up with a sketch." He then spoke, sitting down in the chair behind the counter and pulling out a small sketch pad and pencil.

Eddie just continued staring at you, "Bats..." He muttered softly, "You want bats?" His question was filled with disbelief.

You shrugged a shoulder, your hand coming up to hold his hand from your shoulder, "I like bats."

"You like my bats," He whispered proudly, emphasizing on the third word as you smiled coyly.

"I love your bats," You repeated teasingly, squeezing his hand in yours before releasing it to reach up and push a strand of hair behind his ear, "I feel like you should've seen this coming."

Eddie just huffed, raising his free hand to grab yours from his hair, cupping your hand to his cheek; continuing to stare at you adoringly as he nuzzled his cheek into your palm. "I thought you were going to get something from that movie you like or something..."

"Hmm," You hummed, your thumb brushing against the soft skin of the apple of his cheek, your eyes drifting, spotting the little freckles that were dotted there, "That might be a good second tattoo idea."

"You really got the key to my heart, babe," Eddie spoke, his voice sounding full of what you could only think was a deep sense of love as his warm brown orbs gazed into yours, causing you to let out a small giggle, your thumb rubbing circles around his cheek.

"And you got mine, Eds." You mumbled as his eyes dropped to your lips, just a mere breath away until Christopher popped his head up from his sketch pad.

"Sorry to interrupt," He grinned, his mischievous eyes gleaming, standing from his chair as the two of you pulled away from each other slightly; Eddi's arms still wrapped around your shoulders. "What do you think of this?" Chris then asked, showing you the sketch he had gone, and immediately, your eyes widened, as did your smile.

"It's perfect!" You cheered, feeling a rush of excitement run through you as you stared down at the sketch. It was of Eddie's bats, drawn the same, but flying in a slightly different pattern; more horizontal. It was perfect and you couldn't wait for the masterpiece to be permanently printed onto your skin.

Chris pulled the sketchbook back, "Great, you two lovebirds can follow me to the chair." He spoke, as he led you and Eddie to his station.

As you walked, you took that time to look around the parlor, seeing the walls covered in posters and framed art depicting different types of tattoos. The room was bright, but not blinding and everything was done in black, white, and gray tones. Taking a seat on the later chair, Chris slid over another wheely chair, the same as his, for Eddie to sit on as he gathered his needed materials from a separate room.

Eddie held your hand as you laid your arm on the chair's armrest, gently squeezing your hand as you continued to look around the room at all the different tattoo designs. "Are you excited?" He asked, watching as your eyes flickered from design to design, a smile still on your face.

"So excited. But I'm still nervous. I'm trying not to think about the needle."

"Hmm, yeah," He hummed, following your line of sight, "I'll be here the whole time. You know that you can take a break at any time. Just let him know."

"I know," You nodded, looking over at him, "But I can do this. I mean, I've been waiting for this ever since I was twelve."

"I know," Eddie mimicked you softly as Chris came back over with the tattoo gun and inks needed.

Setting the items down on the table, Chris grabbed some gloves, sliding them on, "Alright, where did you plan to have it?"

"Right here," You gestured to just below your collarbone, and Chris nodded as he got the items ready on the tin tray beside him, organizing them.

"Alright, I just want to let you know that it might be painful, or it might not. Some people say it just feels like someone scratching the same spot over and over, and some don’t, so I just wanted to warn you about that." He spoke, opening the ink bottles and pouring a couple of drops into a small, plastic cup, "I try and make this as pleasant of an experience as possible for everyone who comes in. So if you need a break, you can take it. If you need a snack, I got a mini fridge, and if you need me to change the radio station, I bet Eddie will go and change it for you." He finished, before twisting his wrist, warming it up. "Are you ready to begin?"

You nodded, "Yeah."

~~~

The tattoo was perfect. You thought it was gorgeous. And when Eddie first saw it after Chris was done, his first word was, ‘Wicked.’

Seven little bats decorated your soft skin, and even though you had gone through a lot of pain to get them, it was incredibly worth it. Chris and Eddie were right, and it did hurt, but not as much as you thought it was going to hurt. Your mother, after you had told her of your wish to one day get a tattoo and tattoos in general. She said that it was a way of signing your soul over to the devil. That was the reason your mother moved you away to Hawkins, your mother found out that a friend of yours had a tattoo. But nothing she said really deterred you from wanting a tattoo.

And four months later, you sat in your room with Eddie, a movie randomly playing on your small television across your bed, whilst you read a book and Eddie's head leaned on your shoulder. He was staring at the TV, not fully paying attention to it as he played with the fraying hem of your shirt... That you stole from him.

You continued to read, your book taking you to a far-off world with elves, wizards, and hobbits. Eddie had recommended the 'Lord Of The Rings' series, letting you borrow his set, and you couldn't have been happier. You were in the second book, almost near the end; you couldn't put it down. Even though it was long, and the author really liked to describe anything and everything, you enjoyed how easily you seemed to fall into the fantasy world of Middle Earth.

Sighing, Eddie scooted impossibly closer to you, growing a bit bored. His hands were tingling slightly with the want and need to do something, anything. He wished he had his baby with him. His other baby. While you were reading, he could've been practicing a few songs, but his visit to your house for the first time was not planned.

You had told him that your mother was going out to play Scrabble with a few friends for the night, and that she wouldn't get back until pretty late. So, you took Eddie to your place. You were excited to finally show Eddie your room. Even though it wasn't anything like his, Eddie still loved it.

When he walked in, he knew it was your room. Your desk was pushed off to the side, near the window. Folders, notebooks, and other various items were neatly placed there. The shelves that contained your many, many books were on the other wall, next to your closet door. The bed looked comfortable too; with a plush, fuzzy faux-fur blanket that covered your gray sheets, accompanied with gray pillowcases on your pillows.

Your room was nice, open, and bright. And it made Eddie feel calm; safe.

Letting out a dramatic sigh this time, Eddie pushed himself up slightly, lifting and turning his head to press his nose into your shoulder, his eyes staring at what he could see of the side of your face with sad, puppy dog eyes.

"Bored?" You asked softly, thumbing the page over.

Eddie pouted, "Yeah… How could you tell?"

"This is the ninth time you sighed in... Oh, I don't know... Ten minutes." You spoke glancing at the circular clock on the wall and down at him before back at your book. "Just let me get done with this chapter and I'm all yours."

"Okay..," Eddie sighed, watching as you continued to read, his fingers returning to play with the hem of your shirt.

After about five minutes, or what felt like hours for Eddie, he started to become restless again. Shaking his socked left foot side to side from where it lay on your bed, he curled his fingers around your arm, his nose occasionally rubbing your shoulder as he started to hum the tune of 'Fade To Black.' Shuffling up again, the slight movement caused his hands to move down on your long-sleeved shirt; unintentionally pulling the collar of your shirt down a little.

Immediately, Eddie's eyes were glued to the bit of black ink poking out from beneath the stretched collar of your shirt. His finger moved upwards, lightly tracing the outline of what he could see of the bat, his pout quickly turning into a small grin. Unable to really help himself, Eddie felt himself being drawn towards it. As if it was calling out to him. Before getting it, you had told Eddie millions of times how much you loved his tattoos, all of them, but especially his bats.

He probably had a small inkling - or suspicion - that you had plans to get something similar, but he never gave it a second thought, until now. You loved his tattoo so much that you got one like his permanently tattooed onto your skin. You loved him so much that you got something that reminded you of him... Permanently tattooed onto your perfect skin, and somehow he could barely breathe.

Letting out a shallow breath, Eddie leaned down, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to the top of the bat's wing, what he could see just peeking out from the collar of your shirt. It was enough of a distraction, for him to not notice when your hand paused in the air, millimeters away from flipping to the next page. Pressing his warm face into the equally warm skin of the crook of your neck, Eddie sighed; finally feeling the fast beating of your heart against his cheek.

"You're killing me, Eddie." You huffed, shutting your book and setting it on the bedside table before looking over at what you could see of Eddie; his face still dug into your shoulder. "You're acting way too cute." You chuckled, reaching up to run a hand through his hair, breaking away small knots.

His nose bumped against yours as he raised his face from your shoulder, an innocent smile on his face, "What do you mean? I'm always cute."

"That's true," You agreed, moving forward and pressing a sweet, short kiss to his lips. "Now," You pulled away slowly, placing a small amount of space between the two of you, "What do you want to do? Since you're so bored."

"Well," He grinned mischievously, "I have a few ideas."

Tilting your head to the side slightly, "Really?" You questioned with a raised eyebrow, feeling your stomach twist as his eyes glanced down at your awaiting lips for a moment, "Care to share?"

"Mmhm." Eddie hummed, his hand raising to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing against your bottom lip, before cupping the back of your neck, bringing your face ever closer to his; allowing his gaze to drift down and down until his eyes landed on your mouth once more.

Before either of you could continue, a sudden knock on the bedroom door brought both of you back to reality; your door opening and revealing your mother. She had come home early.

Your eyes widened as you sat bolt upright in bed. Eddie shot up beside you, his eyes wide as well, as your mother's jaw dropped, her eyes widening in shock before they turned into eyes of pure anger.

"Y/N!" She yelled, making you flinch as she turned her eyes to Eddie, "And you! Devil boy! Out of my house, you spawn of Satan!"

Eddie hopped up from your bed, grabbed his shoes, and hastily slipped them on. You stood up from the bed as well, your mother's eyes stared at him like a hawk, all the while Eddie couldn't help but grin. You moved over to the window, pushing the pane up as Eddie almost strutted over.

Despite what was happening, you couldn’t help but admire him.

Shrugging on his leather jacket, he gave you a quick kiss on the cheek, making your worried expression turn into a loving smile. "Bye, babe."

"Bye, Eds." You breathed deeply as your mother rushed over.

"No! No! Get out, Devil boy! Out!" He waved a pointy finger as Eddie slipped out of your window, landing on the lower side roof and down to the ground. Once he was out of sight, your mother turned to you; a sliver of fear rolled down your spine as her eyes glared daggers at you, her arms crossed. "And you, young lady, are in very big trouble." She seethed, "I told you- I forbade you from ever speaking to that boy again! And you have the nerve- the- the audacity to bring him into my home! To have him in your room! You- you- you-" She began, stuttering over her words angrily, her hand waving in the air by her face; her cheeks were red. As she continued to stutter, her eyes glanced down, seeing the hint of black against your skin. She paused, frozen before she reached out and pulled the collar of your shirt slightly, just enough to see one of the bats that was etched onto your skin peeking out from under your shirt. "Is that..." She raised her free hand, licking her thumb before rubbing the bat; whatever it was, it didn't fade, or spear... It didn't come off. She pulled away, "You... That devil child has infected you!" She cried angrily.

You swallowed nervously as she continued to talk, your mind running over every possible way you could get out of this emotionally and mentally unscathed, "Mom. I am an adult. I can get a tattoo-"

Her eyes flashed dangerously, "Stop right there. Don't you dare say another word." She growled, "He has brainwashed you. He took you and corrupted your mind, and you will pay dearly for it."

You watched as your mother stalked away, "Mom..." You spoke, but she ignored you, reaching for your phone sitting on your bedside table, "Mom!" You cried out, watching as she reached for the cord of your phone and yanked it straight out of the wall.

Jaw dropped, and you continued to watch as she collected your phone into her arms before turning to you, "You will not get your phone back until I deem it suitable. I may regret this, but I will give you one last chance. I rather like this town. I would be upset to leave it so soon." She spoke before leaving your room, shutting your door behind her.

Huffing out a breath, you felt your eyes burn. The tears threatened to spill from their confines as you turned towards your bed, dropping yourself onto it, letting the tears finally fall.

Eddie stood in front of the bathroom mirror, his hands gripping the counter edge tightly as he stared down at the counter itself. He wanted to call you, see how you were doing, and cheer you up like he always knew how to, but he knew that it would be too risky.

So, he stood, his fingers tapping the underside of the counter as he thought. He wished things were different, and he wished that your mother didn't hate him. But everyone hated him, and he wished that he was used to it. But you didn't hate him. Not even close. He needed you, he needed your support and encouragement, he needed your love and warmth; just as much as you needed him.

He sighed, sliding down onto the floor, and leaning his back against the bathtub; the cold surface chilling his back. Closing his eyes, he tilted his head back against the rim of the tub, letting out a sigh.

~~~

Your mother watched you like a hawk for the next couple of weeks. Everywhere you went with her, she was close beside. And she followed you wherever you went; store, arcade, everywhere. Everyone you spoke to, she would know about. It was like she was everywhere. But, she wasn't.

She couldn't go to the high school, no matter how much she tried to convince the Principal to let her. 'My daughter is in danger,' she would plead, only for the Principal to reply with, 'There is nothing to worry about.' Nothing to worry about? Your mother was fuming. You wondered how she would’ve done it either way, since she had a job and all.

And so, the only time you could see Eddie was during the school day, which was less time than you liked. You didn't share any of the same periods, and could only see him during the couple of minutes before class, during the half an hour lunch, and the few minutes after school before you had to walk home. Your mother even forced you to quit your 'Drama Club,' which was actually the Hellfire Club.

Sitting on the picnic bench out in the woods, the same bench you and Eddie shared your first kiss - and many more - you leaned against Eddie's shoulder. Lunch had started less than ten minutes ago, Eddie had eaten some of the fries and drank his chocolate milk, but you had hardly touched yours at all. You hadn't touched anything all morning; you simply pushed the plate of mush around. You could feel Eddie's curious glances burning into the side of your face as he looked down.

"You gotta eat, baby." He moved his arm, wrapping it behind you, his hand rubbing up and down on your arm, "Come on, take a bite." He cooed softly, leaning down a little bit so that his nose brushed against your cheek. You shook your head quickly, pushing your plate of untouched food away from you, "Y/N." His voice came out in barely more than a whisper.

Taking a deep breath, you opened your mouth to speak, "I will for you." You muttered, reaching out and grabbing the sweet roll from your tray, "Only for you."

"That's my girl." Eddie brought you closer to his side, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I know life is pretty shitty right now, but we can get through this. I promise you, once we graduate, we will get out of this town."

You humphed softly, a small smile growing on your lips, "If you graduate," You teased lightly, making Eddie gasp in faux offense; his free hand coming up to his chest.

"If I graduate? Baby, 86' is my year." He winked, causing you to giggle a little, making his smile grow bigger. You rested your head back against his shoulder, the two of you contentedly eating your food.

After a moment, you paused, "What if we left now..?" You shook your head on his shoulder as Eddie paused his own eating, "Nevermind. Silly question."

"Not silly at all." Eddie spoke, the both of you being brought back to the night you met at that party, "Not silly at all." He repeated, thoughtfully.

~~~

Your mother came home from work on an early Wednesday evening, dropping her purse and keys down on the table near the door as she slipped off her heels. "Y/N! Dear, I'm home!" She called out, checking in the living room, but not finding you there. Walking to the kitchen, passing the dining room, she called out again, "Did you take the beef out like I asked?" Entering the kitchen, the beef was not out on the kitchen counter, and the dishes in the sink were unfinished. Letting out a deep, irritated sigh, she moved to the stairs, placing her hand on the banister, "Y/N!?" With no answer again, she quickly made her way up the stairs, entering the hall, and pushing your door open.

She gasped, seeing your walls stripped of your posters, your shelves empty of your books, and your bed coverings missing from your bed. Rushing to your closet, she slammed it open, finding empty hammers in your empty closet before doing the same with your dresser; empty. She ran a hand through her hair, her body turning, and her eyes surveying the room with haste. Where were you? Where did you go? Were you with that boy? Damn...

Hearing the sound of a van pulling into the driveway, and a door opening, she ran to your open bedroom window that faced the street, her hands held onto the windowsill with a death-like grip, her eyes wide with anger and shock as you hopped out of the van; Eddie's van. Speaking of the Devil boy, he came around from the other side of the van, his arm looping over your shoulders. You just stared up at your mother with a triumphant grin, crossing your arms, and jutting out your hip.

Your mother stood stunned and speechless as she watched you uncross your arms, you then placed them to the side of your head, your pointer fingers pointed up; mimicking horns as you stuck out your tongue at her. Eddie watched you, a proud grin on his face - flattered - admiring you proudly.

Her expression quickly changed, becoming filled with fury, while Eddie gave your mother a grin, waving his hand. "Goodbye, Mrs. L/N!"

Your mother watched as you and Eddie then started to get back in the van, and finally, she spoke, "Y/N! Get back here this instant! If you get in that van, you are no longer my daughter!" She exclaimed angrily but only watched as the van's engine started up and the two of you sped away down the street.

You laughed in the passenger seat, throwing your head back against the headrest, Eddie glancing over at you with a smile; laughing along with you, happy to see you so happy.

You sighed as you calmed down, feeling adrenaline rush throughout your veins as you ran a hand through your hair before you turned to look at Eddie; resting your elbow on the middle console, palm resting on your cheek.

"So," You began, your smile never dwindling as you gazed up at Eddie, "Where are we going to go?" You asked, excitement filling up your heart.

Eddie shrugged, glancing over at you with a matching grin, having a double take when he saw your smile. You looked beautiful… As always. The setting sun was shining on you, bathing you in the most perfect light. His smile softened, "Look at you..." He muttered, "You're all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed." He finished before he reached over the center console, and grabbed your other hand in his. Bringing it to your lips, he pressed a gentle, yet loving kiss to the top of your knuckles, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Look at me..." You replied, your voice taking a soft tone, a warm smile playing on your lips.

---

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