#if they knew about humans theyd think they were cute

[spacexseven]

would demon dazai n chuuya ever join forces and share a darling? i imagine itd be a huge mess if they both took interest in the same darling so im curious if you think theyd be able to share or if all hell breaks loose once they find out theyre going after the same person :3c

love this au, ure doing a great job ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ

hello user teethsies!! its always nice to hear from u huehue ^^ for more demon bsd content, check out the #demon au 🐟 tag!

cw: yandere characters + themes, violence

according to your very reliable source, the ritual was only supposed to summon one (1) demon.

but inhabiting your space now was not one, but two demons.

you tried to calm yourself down first before either of them could fully realize what had happened. maybe they were a package deal—unable to summon one without the other tagging alone, and you could ask them nicely to go back so you could summon the one you wanted. or maybe it didn't matter. the reason why you wanted to summon a demon didn't change just because there were two now, anyway, so as long as they were bound to you (at least, that was what was supposed to happen), you could make them do your bidding and promise to send them back right after.

but of course, none of that happened. for starters, your new housemates abhorred each other, and your so-called binding had no effect on them. it seemed you had, instead of summoning a particular demon, opened up a portal of some sort that the two happened to come across, which meant that you held no power over them.

to make it all worse, they were both completely deranged.

you're not sure what you were expecting from a demon, but it was foolish of you to think they didn't deal in trickery and torment. dazai was a master in both, somehow able to even make an invitation to stay in his torture chamber enticing (until you, fortunately, snapped out of it and realized just what that would entail). chuuya, though he never threatened you, had a permanent sneer on his face, and from the little conversation you overheard between him and dazai, was also no stranger to violent, cruel tactics.

it didn't matter why you wanted to summon them. dazai finds it silly anyway, whether it was for revenge or curiosity, the fact that you believed you could do such a thing and still be alive by the end of it was almost cute, and chuuya had made sure you knew how angry he was that you thought you could boss him around. regardless, they were here now, and...they were refusing to leave.

in retrospect, it was quite obvious when they were starting to take interest in you. dazai had always been a little too interested in you, apart from studying your clipped nails, which were completely different from his own claw-like ones, and constantly pointing out how small and human you looked, dazai found everything about you entertaining. he especially liked to make you frustrated, turning off your computer in the middle of your game, mixing salt into your sugar, hiding away your phone—little things that ruined your day,

chuuya, on the other hand, was a little harder to figure out. he seemed to hold a grudge against you, but there were times where he'd be almost...nice. after a particularly rough day or a night where you couldn't sleep thanks to someone deciding to also sleep right on top of you, you'd wake up to see your favorite drink waiting for you and all of dazai's usual tricks sorted out in advance. of course, he wasn't completely innocent. he had his own fair share of tricks, though never as bad as dazai's. chuuya was also a lot more familiar with the human world, and provided surprisingly good advice when you needed it.

the problem with the whole arrangement is that dazai cannot share anything, let alone his new human toy. he's suffocatingly possessive, and painfully competitive, constantly wanting you to spend more time with him and be nicer to him and smile more at him and—it went on. once he realizes that chuuya's warming up to you, he immediately starts plotting for damage control. he tries to send chuuya back and convince you that chuuya was only going to hurt you. while chuuya isn't opposed to the idea, dazai's hostility on spurs him on. having the two of you like the same darling will only end up in a lot of fighting.

[baby-xemnas]

🐯🐻‍❄️ big big love (sort of a draft i want to make into a comic but itll take so long im scared)

pre rship lawbepo - the thought that the boys could suggest law gets into a relationship - ofc while joking that theyd be sad to share captains time with a woman, but it cant be helped! - bepo overhearing and getting upset....ofc law dismisses it, but it still hurts

does captain need a romantic relationship? would it make him happier, does he feel incomplete? its awfully selfish to not want it to happen then ..but where does that leave HIM - bepo chan spiraling into those thoughts... he knew that maybe one day his friendship wont be enough but he couldn't prepare for such a day to come

it would be cute if he didn't even consider himself as a viable sexual partner. they are different races, captain is not gay etc...maybe he rubbed off to a thought of what it would be like to be a cute girl being fucked by law 😳 oh bepo...his thought going there because of logic - okay im a human, and captain is a man, so he would be into a human female, what would that be like? and getting SO embarrassed so quickly because while he knows little about human romance he does know how things work (and how women act around their love interests in literature) so projecting onto that making his head explode. bepo doesnt have time to analyze how he feels he just panics, overwhelmed by the idea and after surprise subsides getting real upset that he is not in fact a human woman...

little did he know that not only its possible but law wants him BADLY. bepo darling he thinks about bending you over and spreading those furry cheeks So Much that if you'd know you would die of embarrassment.

physically it makes no sense cuz hes so big but i love light weight bepo - maybe its the lack of exposure cuz he drinks rarely. but imagine him confessing awkwardly like "haha if i was a human girl i could date captain and never let any other girls near him! 😖" much to 😦😦😦 from the other 3

penshachi: gtg bye (theyll later come back to not find neither law nor bepo cuz theyve gotten back to polar tang to make out in laws cabin. under the guise of "bepo you drank too much we have to go" and when law grabs his hand bepo cant do anything

law is so excited he can barely think straight cuz he only said he doesn't care much for women or human women, trying not to foam at the mouth at the chance with bepo that fell into his lap.

But its an uphill battle how to delicately explain to Bepo that not only Law wants him as he is (male and mink and all) he is the ONLY person he wants. imagine the pressure and fear that he simply misunderstood bepo.

imagine their walk back to the ship from the bar - bepo still tipsy but sobering up from fear because atmosphere got real weird once he said what he said ...and the boys left so they cant even get captain distracted. its just him.

bepo walks behind silent law and anxiety keeps bubbling up to the point bepo starts tearing up because hes not sober so emotions are extra hard to contain and he is so afraid that he ruined everything and what he said will break their relationship now that law knows how he feels. he made it weird and now law hates him 😭

law turning around after he hears bepo sniffle and ofc he puts two and two together

-bepo im not mad or grossed out

-whuh?? 🥺😭

-you dont need to be a girl to keep women away from me you know

-huh??? (at that point bepo is so drowned in worry he forgot what he said)

-you....[sigh] bepo calm down

-sorry...

-if you were a girl you would be my lover?

-dont say it like that captain im sorry its stupid i shouldn't have said it!! 😭😭

-but cant you do it now?

-do what?

-be that

-what, a girl??

-(law closing his eyes in frustration not wanting to call bepo stupid even tho he's being VERY stupid right now) my lover, bepo, it would make me happy if you were my lover now, as you are, you dont need to be a human woman for that

[cue bepo's whole would breaking to the point he almost faints]

[vattenkokare]

sufin hcs except its written at almost midnight so i wanna sleep and its my train of thoughts that derailed

so i just wanna say it might not be 100% accruate bcs i havent done any medical/history research its just for funsies

1. fins journey on accepting his body

topic of fins body i think as a child he was rlly wild and as a teen he wanted ppl to fear him (when he had to attack) or take him seriously but due to his baby face it sometimes didnt work

due to constant stress (wars, complicated relationship with sweden) he found food very comforting so mixed with his type of body he was just more on a chubby side

he would also get stomach aches from stress and finally develop ibs so ofc he hated all that

it was rather long journey for him cause even tho he would fear swe sometimes he'd show his human side (probably due to being cold theyd often sleep together to keep warm) and swe would more or less intentionally cuddle him which would make him less dysphoric about his body (also calling him cute or other weird compliments that swe would think were adorable)

the real change for him would be actually becoming his own country and seeing he can do much more, be actually taken seriously and be very strong, mixed with some of his own thoughts would make him love himself more and finally fully accepting his body

2. sweden being silly

swe is complicated since in my hc he's autistic but also schizophrenic (or other disorder having some similar issues idk)

as a child he was just awkward and later in life started developing symptoms of schizophrenia, which for people in like middle ages wasnt a thing so they probably thought he was possesed sometimes-

disorders and confusion about his gay identity probably lead him to religious trauma and also were one of the reasons he hadnt confessed for the longest time

ofc fin was scared of him but also had some respect as swe was usually nice to him and was his "leading" nation as fin wasnt a country

so during swedens episodes at first he would be scared for his life, then later getting used to them started understanding and taking care of him as well as he could

swe ofc expressed gratitude in his way like cooking something nice, bringing gifts, taking care of fin when he had rlly bad stomach pains while swe was really cold or rather awkward he still tried to somehow make it up for fin

later with people actually learning about disorders he could be better understood and got the help he could, from fin also when he finally knew what was the reason behind swedens behaviour so then they both created a comfortable space and swe become more open about his emotions tho he isnt perfect still

3. the relationship with them was complicated but the simpliest way to put it will be:

as children they were on their own, later swe "adopted" fin as his friend tho fin was still a feral baby

as teens swe gained more respect so as young adults fin had to stay with him, even if he was scared of swe he had this soft spot as he was nice as he could, just weird

i also hc swe to teach fin how to use swords which swe loved and was really good in fighting that way and later how to shoot, in which fin became significantly better,

when they broke fin went his way and later formed a country so they werent around that much, fin focused on self improvement and his things while swe was more depressed that it was his falut that they "broke up" and was kinds jealous of fin, but in a way that he forgot him

they got together more after and during wars, tho swe helped he was more distant emotionaly not to get hurt and fin kinda holds grudges for earlier ages when swe treated him as his own property (which he did being more or less aware)

finally they get on more friendly manner and learn about new themselves

[0318k]

most fucked up thing is i know the bullies i had in all my schools (all boys including the dedicated long term ones lol which involved taunting me even in front of my friends or pushing me or making me fall on the ground winters were the worst because they would throw rocks embedded in snow balls and getting to a bus was a warzone. since i was really short and small they knew i couldnt even fight back id be the easiest target theyd throw me on the ground and put snow behind my clothes right on my naked skin on my back and id be coming home like this biting my mouth to not cry in the bus. the short term situational ones where theyd point fingers at me or make remarks on my appearance to their friends and laugh) i didn’t understand what i was doing for them to say and do these things to me i was just trying to exist walk these fucking corridors and talk to my friends like everyone else. but i know something always made me look like a target to these people. the amount of times i fantasized about meeting them as i am now and spitting in their pathetic faces i know they would most likely think i am cute or wtv now and they would treat me like a human (not really but you know what i mean) but honestly the amount of times i cried in my bath through these years wishing i could die i cant count. it was so helpless

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh Part 4

a/n: I LIVE FOR THESE MANAGER SEIJOH ASKS LIKE BLS TAKE OVER MY LIFE

(i originally planned to write the other schools for the manager scenario like theyre already in my drafts with plans and partly written out but like seijoh is my TOP PRIORITY (sorry pls dont hate me) BC THEY ARE MY BOIS)

also, most of my ask box is all for a kyoken ending and kyoken fluff and aoba johsai fluff and im quaking bc this is spurring me to create more aoba johsai imagines and my love for the other schools is just like being overshadowed by our little plant babies :’)

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon request: Im the anon who mentioned the chaos about the dating and can I say I love it!!! 🙏🙏 i kinda have this hc for the boys that they fight whenever they go on bus rides, just because they want yn to sit next to them. But she usually sits next to the calmer members?? The reason the boys fight?? She may or may not have fallen asleep a few times, her head on kyo/iwa shoulder. 🥺🥺

LMAO THAT PART JUST REEKED CHAOTIC ENERGY AND SHE WOULD TOTALLY SIT NEXT TO THEM JUST TO SPITE THE OTHERS AND I LOVE THE IRONY LIKE THE MOST AGGRESSIVE LOOKING ARE THE SOFTEST AND CALMEST TOWARDS HER LIKE PLEASE KYOKEN AND IWA ARE JUST LITTLE SOFT BEANS AND DESERVE THE WORLD

(bruh im so soft for iwa and kyo like my best bois and i must write them out IMMEDIATELY bc theyre so uggghhhhhh!!!!!!!)

MY TWO MEN IN ONE GIF GOD HAS BLESSED ME-

oh dear

bus rides,,,,, yep here we go

the team is usually peaceful and civil w each other (minus iwa literally beating oiks up but thats irrelevant information)

like they dont really have fights or have any arguments bc they meet up every saturday to talk about the week and if anybody had any concerns or anything they were mad about since it was like a family meeting

but boy oh boy

when you entered this family,,, arguments and misunderstandings happened once a week

‘no! y/n-chan said she was going to go shopping with me!’

‘um, she already agreed to go to to the arcade w me’

‘wait, she told me we were going to go visit that cafe!’

yes you agreed to do those things w them but you never assigned a date

your attention was something that these boys were always wanting since they only see you during club hours and practices

their jealousy gets really ugly sometimes and the two first years actually get all smug about it 

‘hm, y/n, we still up for studying later?’

you ruffled his hair and smiled up at him

‘yep! we need to set an alarm though or else i’d end up staying after 1 in the morning again’

‘great. cant wait’

kunimi rarely shows any emotion towards his senpais but they couldnt miss the smug smirk that made oikawa grip the volleyball and mattsun holding him back

god hes such a little shite

everyone knows that the first years have a upperhand than them bc of your same grade so the upperclassmen were much more sensitive to spending time with you outside of practice

and they liked to spend that time wisely

when the time for away games come, you weren’t that worried about it

i mean,, why would you when boarding the bus is going to be so early in the morning at like 4 in the morning and theyd be sleeping the whole time so you get peace and quiet

in fact, you were looking forward!

but nope!

jesus took the wheel and said no

instead, you were watching the team members shouting and yelling at each other at the asscrack of dawn

say sike rn

the 2 coaches were actually not there yet so they werent able to help you and whip the boys to order so here you were, bleary eyed and clearly still tired, sighing and rolling your eyes at the fight

‘SHE SITS WITH ME! IM TEAM CAPTAIN! I GET DIBS!’

‘NO! YOU DROOL ON HER AND MESS UP HER CLOTHES! YOU LIKE MAKKI-SENPAI MORE, RIGHT, Y/N-CHAN?!’

now you might be asking me, ‘author-chan, why are they fighting so hard for something as simple as a bus ride?’

well, my young grasshoppers, this is not just a simple bus ride

you are infamous in the team to be a sleeper

no matter what form of transportation, bus, car, any surface, you found yourself in dream land

yall i wish i was like that

the sleep paralysis demon beside my bed says otherwise

they freak out and fight over even a simple touch of affection from you, do you really think they wouldnt fight tooth and nail to being your pillow and freely watching your adorable sleeping face?

these men are fighting as if they were fighting something serious like a world war

lmao with how intensely theyre fighting, it practically is

but there were two players who actually didnt care either way since they only wanted you to be the most comfortable and they werent exactly the most squishiest members

in fact, they were basically all muscle and probably not the most comfortable

NOPE I BELIEVE THAT IWA IS IN FACT ONE OF THE MOST COMFIEST AND BEST PILLOWS IN THE ENTIRE HAIKYUU UNIVERSE

totally not my bias talking or anything

so it was no surprise when they didnt get themselves involved

iwa was already done w them and goes in the bus because mom deserves a nap

naturally, kyo follows the leader and boards the bus after him, leaving the others to fight it out in the school parking lot

you were happy that they were too distracted that they wouldnt notice you sneaking away into the bus and you were slightly disappointed that out of all the seats, kyo had to sit in the one-seater by the front

so you immediately went over to the other person, who was iwa-san, and he was just settling in, pulling out his teal blanket

you blinked at him when he caught you stare but he gently smiled before opening the blanket

‘i was never a fan of window seats anyways’

you happily bounced over to him and you placed your bag at the overhead compartment bc seijoh is bougee and can afford everything before you climbed over him to the seat next to the window

iwaizumi tried to make you as comfortable as he can so he kept the seat divider thing yanno what im talking about? between you

but his eyes widened when you casually pulled it up and snuggled closer to him

youve done this before so he opened his right arm for you to cuddle closer but he was still surprised 

meanwhile,,,

you just closed your eyes with a smile as you pulled the blanket to your chin and practically glomped yourself to iwa

ugh im so jealous of you!!!!!!!!!!

‘hmmmm, youre so warm iwa-san. youre like,,,,, jacob from twilight’

his eyebrow quirked and he smiled, wrapping his arm around you and tightly holding you close

‘oh? the werewolf?’

he felt your head nod

‘mhm. so warm, and strong, yet so gentle and soft’

by now, both your legs were already swung over his lap and head on his chest as you sat sideways

his fingers traced circles around your middle as his other hand was fiddling with your fingers

‘didnt he like mark a little girl?’

‘iwa-san dont talk about that!’

his laugh grumbled his chest and you giggled, trying to become even closer towards his naturally warm chest and inhale his scent

lavender mixed with peppermint

it was such an odd combination from the people you knew and you were immediately drawn to it

thats why you usually wore his jacket rather than your own

he always gets confused as to where it is but you steal it and watch him look for it

you didnt hear that from me though

it didnt take a long time for you to fall asleep and by the time the 2 coaches finally arrived and yelled at the players, they were already late

‘oikawa, i thought youd handle this properly!’

oiks whimpered from the coach’s scolding but apologized then pushed everyone in

the sight in front of them made them both boil in jealousy and squeal in uwus

you, the softest and sweetest and kindest little flower human being, being cuddled up to iwaizumi, the brute and bara arms and the ultra macho strong man, who had his head on top of you

KYAAAAAAAA

even though they knew you were a heavy sleeper and iwa slept like a rock, they still quieted down and silently walked over to their seats, hissing and shushing at anyone who even made the slightest bit of noise

rustle of the bags?

SSSSHHHHHH

seat creaking as they sit down?

SSSHHHHHHHH

they only let this slide bc your sleeping face was just so cute and they didnt have the heart to wake you up

and also face the wrath of titan iwa and be thrown into the atlantic ocean like oikawa did one time

when you finally arrived at the stadium, they waited for a rough 10 minutes just to figure out how to wake you up

they didnt want to wake up iwa first and have him yell at them but they didnt want to wake you up first either

but kyo didnt understand the dilemma and instead just goes to the back where yall were at and he goes to the seat behind you so he could reach you easily and tickles your cheek

the team is just like 👁️👄👁️

your nose scrunches at this tingling sensation until it continues so you open your eyes and finds kyo just smiling down at you

oiks is literally shaking bc he could see the smallest smile on kyo’s face

‘wake up’

with his gruff voice, it sounded like he was ordering you around but you knew he couldnt help it and blinked tiredly at him, giving him a smile of your own

‘hm, hi kyo-san’

you winced at the sudden appearance of the sunlight and that made you fully wake up before flinched at the eyes of the other players

‘hello, everyone’

you said slowly and you sat up, noticing iwa still sleeping

oiks held his breath bc hes been friends w iwa since he was still a baby and he knows that its like waking up a sleeping dragon

‘wait y/n-chan-’

but you didnt listen and poked his nose

‘iwa-san? iwa-san, we’re here’

you cooed and the poking made his eyes flutter open and with his head still tilted to the side, he swore he saw an angel by the way the sunlight hit the back of your head giving you a smiling angel effect

hm, i could get used to seeing this when i wake up

you grinned and when he finally stretched, you sat up stright, waiting for iwa to get up so you could slide out

but kyo was an impatient little bean and just hoisted you out of there and towards him behind the seat

‘come on. i got your bag’

he mumbled and you nodded, letting him hold your hand

lmao wait i forgot the time this is set

this is set during the 2nd inter-high okay? okay

oiks was still complaining at kyo and iwa hogging you but you didnt listen and continued walking towards the entrance, glancing around at the other teams

as usual, oiks and iwa were walking to the front bc yanno, captain and vice-captain, while you and kyo walked at the back, mainly bc you didnt want any player to stray off like kindaichi did last time and look for him for hours

kyo gripped your hand and you turned your head to look at him to see his eyes glaring at anything

you chuckled which made him look down at you, the glare slowly disappearing

‘hm, kyo-san, you should really invest in contacts. it doesnt matter if wearing glasses makes you feel like a nerd bc you still need it to see’

he scrunched his nose when you scolded him and he was about to retort when him and the team caught the whisperings of the nearby teams

‘oh my god, seijoh and the beautiful manager’

‘how old is she? i hope shes at least a second year’

‘ngh id tap that’

IM BLEEHHHHH

‘is he her boyfriend? if so, the competition isnt that hard then’

kyo growled and was about to lunge at the yellow jacketed boy but you held him back, also worriedly looking at your boys

‘seijoh, down’

you ordered and they shrunk back, opting to just glaring heatedly at the other teams

you could still feel kyo shaking at rage to them sexualizing you but your hands squeezing him and the other hand rubbing his arm helped him control it

‘dont make a scene, kyo-san. its your first competition since your suspension, right? and you love volleyball so please keep it in. i can protect myself’

you whispered but he let go of your hand and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close and continuing to glare at everyone as if he was asserting dominance

‘if they touch you-’

‘ill kick them between the legs, i know. you told me already’

you teased and he hummed in agreement

when they played, they were at ease bc the two coaches were there and they were also protective of you like their own so they wouldnt have to worry about someone to go after you

however,,

as they were warming up for the second game, you had to quickly fill up their water bottles bc they were already tired and dehydrated so you needed to fill them up

and they were all busy and you didnt want to bother them and you were going to be quick anyways so you just took the case of bottles and ran to the nearby water fountain

you were hurriedly filling them up and at your last bottle, you were about to cap it when you felt a presence behind you

he stood close and his arms snaked around your waist but you hurriedly tightened the lid and whacked him at the head with the heavy bottle

you continuously hit him and kicked him between the legs before hitting him again

‘DONT TOUCH ME AGAIN!’

you shouted and iwa and kyo were watching from the end of the hallway, panting from running so fast since they heard your shouts

okay a little flashback,

kyo was watching you from his perepharal vision and when he went up to spike, he took his eyes off of you for ONE DAMN SECOND and you nyoomed out of there

when he didnt see you anywhere, he wildly looked around and this caught the attention of the vice-captain

‘oi! kyotani! whats wrong?’

‘y/n. where is she?’

they took off running and the team was just like what

then they heard shouts and kyo knew it was you

his mad dog senses

hehe get it

he as about to tackle the guy but he saw you beat him with a water bottle and eventually taking another bottle and kicking him and hitting him with the two waters

the player cowered and scrambled to get away bc wow this girl was psycho

um no sir, she was protecting herself from hormonal testosterone filled children like you

‘YEA GO RUNNING! COME TO ME AGAIN AND ILL BEAT YOU UP HARDER! DISGUSTING! TRASH! GROSS! SCUM!’

maybe it was because the last time you were touched without consent was when you got bullied but you were definitely fighting harder and more aggressive at protecting yourself

you turned around and the rage from your eyes disappeared when you saw the two boys there

‘hey iwa-san! kyo-san! sorry, i needed to fill the water bottles!’

you grinned and placed the bottles back to the case before lugging it up

my god their eyes were shining

yep, thats my girl

when their games were over for the day, they made their way to the exit where the bus was at and you and kyo stayed behind again

you caught the eye of the guy and his team and you and kyo glared at him, both wearing a sadistic smile

UGH YALL ARE COUPLE GOALS I SWEAR

kyo even went up to him and the team shrunk leaving the guy standing there in fear at the look on his face

‘listen, i dont like it when my baby girl gets touched by filthy shite like you. so do it again, and ill chop those damn fingers of yours, got it?’

lmao he’ll come for your ankles

the guy just nodded in fear while his team were cowering at the back

you chuckled and pulled kyo to go bc as much as you liked watching this, you needed to go to the bus to go home

‘cmon, kyo, i want to go. im getting a headache from the smell of garbage’

he shifted his gaze to you and sent you a soft smile

‘okay. lets go’

hah you thought it ends there?

kyo is a dramatic little shite so he made a show of grabbing your waist and kissing your temple before flashing them a finger

oiks was tapping his foot impatiently at the bus and when you and kyo emerged from the entrace, he was about to snatch you up but kyo stood in front of you

‘EH?! KYOKEN-CHAN, I WANT TO SIT WITH Y/N-CHAN!’

‘no’

he said and didnt say anything else as he pulled you to the bus and into a two seater where you sat at the window again and he sat on the outside

‘hah? you want to sit next to me, kyo-san?’

you teased but he flushed red, hurriedly hiding in your neck

you laughed and brought a hand up to caress his nape

‘mhm’

he mumbled and you pursed your lips to hide the squeal

‘youre so cute, kyo-san’

‘not cute’

‘very cute’

‘no’

‘AM I CUTE Y/N-CHAN?’

‘SHUT UP SHITTYKAWA’

kyoken got away from your neck and went to hit the captain 

oikawa screamed

a/n: my first week of school was so weird bc we only have like 2 days and the other days are just free days bc we havent really done anything except talk about our classes but im just hating this system like ugh i actually want to go to school bc ya girl is going to a tech school and this 2-day a week is not the vibe

[many-gay-magpies]

NO LITERALLY WHO DECIDED JINO WAS THE TALLEST. JAKE MAY NOT BE SHORT BUT HOON AND NIKI MAKE HIM LOOK TEENY

bro. no bc i feel SO CONFLICTED abt things like the cuttoon bc while i ADORE this whole “sooha and the boys growing up together pre-orphanage” concept i am ALSO a sucker for a victorian-era orphanage for “precocious children” that was really just a hideout spot for the seven vampire kids. like the aesthetics of given-taken with the old film and the outfits and just the general Vibe of a victorian orphanage is like CRACK to me i just wish i knew how to properly work in sooha. for the guys it makes sense that they were vampire kids in the 1800s and just . survived till decelis, but for sooha that makes no sense bc she’s still human and i’m UPSET ABT IT. well tbh if hybe wants to pull the “princess in her past life” bullshit my idea for now will be “she grew up w the boys in her past life but was killed by [insert whatever here] right around their kidnapping and now that’s why she can’t remember them either but feels a ~past life connection~”

NO YEAH SOLON SHION AND JINO ITS SO CUTE I LOVE IT SM. imagine the gossip at decelis abt solon- “he’s so reserved, i think he’s kind of cold and arrogant” “but do you see him with his brothers? i’m sure he’s got a secret sweet romantic side!” “*dreamy sigh* what do i have to do to see that side of him?” JDJSBDD HED HATE IT SM HED RATHER KEEP THE REPUTATION OF A JERK THAN HAVE ALL THE GIRLS SWOONING

PFFFT THE LOOK ON KHAN’S FACE WOULD BE SO FUNNY JUST LIKE “o-oh… man i’m so sorry we didn’t know you went through all that… shit i look like an asshole rn dont i?”

- vrvr anon

jino is short in my soul. or at least short compared to his tallass brothers but one thing's for sure he is NOT the tallest that dude is average height at best. plus i like the concept of buff short men anyway.

NO REALLY IM. SO INTERNALLY MAD AND CONFLICTED ABOUT THAT LIKE. i like the storyline of sooha growing up with the boys too much to let go of it in this au (because that pack dynamic is so SWEET to me i love it so much). and yeah if i go the easy route ill just say she died and then got reincarnated later on but,, if the powers were given to them via genetic engineering i dont think theyd pass over into the new body with her soul so. theres that.

altho if you want a taste of the real mental gymnastics my brain resorts too when trying to justify keeping a story/plotline in, allow me to treat you to this truly absurd idea of mine: so. what if the orphanage made multiple generations of these genetically engineered-superpowered people? like, there have been multiple "batches" of them and each new "batch" improves upon something the last one got wrong. sooha's mom could be one of the kids from the previous generation—maybe she's the only one of them that survived, somehow, and the orphanage has been keeping tabs on her to see how she develops and continue the experiments with HER children (maybe to see how superpowered kids that come from a superpowered mom would differ compared to the kids with normal moms). this could also explain how sooha is able to use her powers without damaging her body, because her mother's dna passed down the info about how to protect from/withstand the powers better. the story goes pretty much the same as we've discussed, sooha's mom manages to protect sooha from the orphanage by pretending she was killed by her powers. but instead of just hiding out NORMALLY, sooha's mom uses her OWN long-forgotten powers to ensure her daughter's safety... maybe her powers involve time and time manipulation, and (either directly after the kidnapping or after chris is killed) she locks both she and her daughter away in a time-bubble of sorts, where they stay frozen as the rest of the world moves on around them. if they stay in there long enough, maybe the orphanage eventually figures they just died, and stops looking for them. i dont really know how the logistics would WORK exactly but its a thought, and as a bonus it conjures up the very funny mental image of sooha's mom in some secluded cottage in the woods, settling down for a very VERY long nap with her daughter, clicking a button in her brain like "hey siri, set alarm for uhhhhhhhhhh a thousand years from now-" (and maybe that contributes some to sooha's hazy memories of her childhood, because time manipulation can be a real bitch to the psyche)

LMAO YEAH SOLON. the gossip around school would be so funny tho, like "tsundere with a secret soft side" is EXACTLY the kind of shit that a bunch of teenage girls would be swooning over. and now im just imagining a day where one of the brothers is hurt or feeling down or something and a random student passes by to see solon (gasp) being ACTUALLY AFFECTIONATE for once! and solon sees the student gaping and hes just like SHITSHITSHIT ive been discovered and then he punches his brother to make sure the situation doesnt look too chummy.

that kind of awkward interaction is so painful and yet so funny to me i love it. khan would be SO AWKWARD and feel SO BAD it would be great hsjfhfjfjf like "ohhh im. shit im an asshole arent i" BRILLIANT

[sushi-purrrito]

Chat Blanc Answered so many of the fandoms questions and I CANT EVEN HANDLE IT.

Incase anyone is unaware, there are versions of chat blanc already subbed on youtube. Now I know translations arent perfect, but if it was even close to accurate... Can we just talk about all the things they revealed to us this episode!?

(I made all gifs off of Kae Minami translated episode on youtube)

1. Adrien literally admitted.. HE ALWAYS SAW MARINETTE AS MORE THAN JUST A FRIEND AND NOW HE KNOWS WHY. A-K-FRICKIN-A. He has ALWAYS had feelings for her, SINCE THE BEGINNING! WE FRICKING KNEW IT!! HA! SCREW ALL THE NAYSAYERS. Everyone who ever said that it was "all in our heads" and that he thought Marinette was weird in first season and had no feelings for her until recently.... YOU WERE WRONG. (though I already knew that..) ALL HAIL ADRIENETTE. That Bitch Is Canon Now.

2. We now know that if Adrien found out Marinette was ladybug, he would keep it a secret from her, but still go all in, if it meant they could be together. and to be honest.. i'm not even sure what this means, but it's a thing.

Also... CAN WE JUST LOOK AT HOW MUCH HE LOVED HER?!?!?!

He didnt even hesitate to show her off to the world. (Not that showing off = love. Just saying that despite his fan club and his strict father he did what we wanted because it was about her. Cute!) Not only that..

But did you see how quickly Marinette was willing to accept that he was Chat Noir? NO HESITATION, SHE WAS ALL FOR IT. "HOLD ME, CHATON, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. "

3. Knowing each others identities did not lead them to give up their miraculous! Infact, it looks as if it helped them to find hawkmoths lair instead! So, either, Master Fu was cool with it(since he was still the guardian here) or BOTH Marinette and Adrien decided theyd keep their knowledge of each others identities a secret! (which I kind of love the idea of)

4. Hawkmoth is the literal scum of the earth. Just Greiving? LOL WE THOUGHT. He is completely irredeemable. There is NO saving that trash human. NO. SAVING. HIM. Not after all that bullshit he pulled. He literally tried to destroy Adrien and Marinettes relationship to get a strong akuma out of her. Which makes me lowkey sad since I kind of thought Gabriel had a soft spot for Marinette and wouldve supported them.. HE BROKE HIS OWN SONS HEART for his OBSESSION to bring his damn wife back.... AND THEN. After discovering his sons identity. THIS DUMPSTER BEAT UP HIS SON AND AKUMITIZED HIM. He didnt even consider trying to talk to Adrien first. WHAT THE FRACK. BROOOOO. SCREW THIS GUY. PLEASE LET HIM FRY IN THE WORLDS LARGEST LAMP, THANKYOU. This confirmed for me as well, that if Adrien ended up dying in the place of bringing back Emilie, Gabriel would be A-FLIPPIN-OK with that.

5. But.. pushing the Gabriel being a Garbage father rant aside. What this really revealed to us, was that Gabriel doesnt consider any of his current life.. real. He doesnt just plan to bring his wife back to life. He plans to "repair the past". change the past. completely rewrite history. Which explains why he is willing to hurt Adrien and treat all of Paris like tools and objects. In his brain. Once he gets the miraculous's, he's going to "reset" all of it. So, noone is really getting hurt. His son included. He really doesn't think he can lose, so anything he does now does not matter to him. Which also just tells us how dangerous this man really is. Like. Guys. He is really. really. dangerous.

6. Luka stayed in the picture. Even after Marinette and Adrien got together. Obviously. But yeah, I love him so much!

7. Though, sadly... we also learned. Marinette doesnt even consider Adrien being chat noir a possibility. DESPITE IT BEING SO DAMN OBVIOUS. Oh you poor poor Marinette🤦‍♀️

8. Meanwhile, Adrien put Marinette being Ladybug together in a *Snap*!

So who's the dense one now huuuuuuuhhhhhHHHHHHHHHH?

*Marinette* *cough*cough*

9. Also. can I just say, Gorilla is a total softy, and I am SO GLAD he wasnt the one to tell Gabriel that Adrien was Chat noir. He is still our wonderful semi fluff dad substitute.

because screw natalie..

and double screw gabriel

Thankyou writers, for sparing Papa Gorilla in this episode. lol

AAND I could keep talking about this episode, but this was just supposed to be revelations, not a reaction post. So, I'm gonna stop now, because I'm already getting carried away😭 AGNFOFPWNSHDHXHFHGSGSHHWJSU (me intangiblely screaming and rambling)

Okay. Goodnight now.

[violetnotez]

HC: Being Handcuffed to the Boys

I only did Midoriya and Bakugo because Im lazy-sry- but I hope you enjoy! :)

|Part 2 w/ Kirishima+Shouto|

(RULES | MASTERLIST| REQUESTS OPEN!!! :))

Midoriya

Midoriya, as sweet and intelligent as he is, was NOT that smart that day

He was studying hero terminology, laws and rules to help him be a better hero, until a thought popped in his head- what if he needed to know how to use handcuffs? Like in some random situation where he needed to detain someone and the only thing he could was use handcuffs, could he do it?

Of course he could but he over thought it and convinced himself he COULDNT and began to slightly freak out

So of course he called you, but he didnt give you ANY info to go off of why he needed you so badly and it kind confused and worried you

“Y/n- I need you to come over quickly”

“Why, is something wrong or-”

“No, no, nothings wrong! Just- come over soon-please?”

“Im coming, Im coming, dont worry….”

When you finally got to his dorm room, you expected him to have some super important news to tell you- like he was hurt, or there was a huge pop  quiz you two needed to study for ASAP...but you were met with  blushing Midoriy holding hndcuffs

KiNkY

You just stared at him and at the handcuffs with a huge WTH face

You dont have the slighest idea of were he had HANDCUFFS

“Umm care to explain why you have handcuffs?”

He explains it to you, and you wanna laugh at how adorably overreactive your boyfriend is but you dont because you wnt him to know you take his concerns seriously

 So he tells you his plan- he was going to put one side of the handcuffs on you as if your were a villian, and one on him (the smart thing to do, he said, so if they couldnt escape because theyd be attached to him), and then take them off. Easy peasy!

NOT EASY PEASY

He put his side of the hand cuff with ease, but when it came to you it took FOREVER

He was so scared to hurt you (like pinch your skin or something) it took him 3 whole minutes to crank it closed

“Midoriya, why are you taking so long?”

“Well-I dont want to hurt you!” he blushed, sweating alittle as he tried his best to not potentially hurt you

“Your not going to hurt me- besides, I thought I was supposed to be a ‘villian’?”

“But- your not a villian- your my girlfriend! And I cant hurt my girlfriend!” he would protest as you laughed at his cuteness

Once it was finally on, Izuku felt way more relaxed- he did it,he could do it, and he wouldnt have to worry about some wierd freak scenario where he couldnt use handcuffs

So, naturally, you ask is he could unlock you guys since he was content with his work

“Yeah of course!” hed say with a sigh of relief until he’ll realize- he forgot where the key was

He’ll start sweating alot and you’ll get super concern

“Izuku, are you all right?”

“Umm….”he confess timidly, “I may or may not have…. Forgotten where the key is.”

Not gonna lie, youre gonna freak out a little

Your literally HAND CUFFED to your boyfriend

He spends 30 minutes in a rampage looking for it (yanking and dragging you around his room in the process)

“I know its here, I just had it, Ill find it I promise-”

Your wrists was turning red from the constant yanking and you had to finally just tell him to stop and figure out another way out of them

You two sit on his bed and thought for a moment- Midoriya’s first thought was Iida and Ochaco, since their his best freinds

But you didnt know for sure what they would do but ask awkward questions and freak out a little like you both did

You then thought of Mina with her acid quirk, but then thought better of it- she didnt have the best control over it and you didnt feel like having your skin melted off

And she was besties with Kaminari and Sero, the biggest pervs at UA, so if they even caught a glance at you two theyd take it the wrong way and you two wouldnt hear the end of it

You giys pondered on what to do next until Midoriya finally got an idea

“What if we go to Hatsume? She has so many gadgets she must have a way to unlock us”

You groaned- you were okay with Hatsume, her perosnality was a little- loud- which was fine, its just you could totally tell she had the hots for Deku and you didnt really appreciate that side of her...but she was your best bet….

“Fine, lets go”

The walk to the her workshop was tortorius- you two both wrapped yourselves up in your biggest jackets to hide the handcuffs so no one could see (even though it was the middle of the afternoon) and holding each others hand so it looked like you were just holding hands and nothing more

It was nerve wracking- you didnt want any of opur classmates to talk to you, let alone see you until you had those CUFFS OFF

When you finally get there, you were so grateful Hatsume was by herself 

And as perky as ever

Izuku tells about your guys predicament timidly as you both have huge blushes

But Hatsume doesnt seem to care about your embarrasment or how you got into that situation at all- shes just excited to try out a “new baby” 

She interjects Izuku with a loud outburst and begins to whip out a bunch of crazy looking gadgets

You look at Midoriya with a skeptical look but you allow her to get close and try to relese you guys

Surprisingly, after a few minutes you were free, and the sound of cold metal hit the tiles

You both rubbed your wrists happy to be out of those restraints

You start to laugh from relief, thanking Hatsume and turning to Midoriya with a stern grin

“Im  not going to ask today….but one day I will figure out how you got those handcuffs”

*small gulp from Izuku

Bakugo

Some days you wonder if your friends WANT to die

You and Bakugo had had a thing for each other for weeks

It was painfully obvious- you would be a blushing mess with Bakugo, giving him the biggest comebacks whenever he was mean to you all the while so red you looked liked you would explode

Bakugo was such a rude dirtbag to you most of the girls wondered how you restrained yourself from slapping him, calling you mean names and criticizing you for the smallest things

But if anybody hurt you or even said you were cute or pretty

OH NO

He would become so angry and possessive it was terrifying

So, since all of Class 1A was sick of hearing you deny any sort of love towards Bakugo and sick of almost getting their hair fried off by Bakugo if they even mentioned your name, they decided to take matters into their own hands

One day, Mina had called you over, leading you over to Kirishima and Bakugou

Your heart already began to quickly start beating just being near him

Bakugo huffed, hating how just seeing that annoyingly pretty face of  yours put his body into overdrive

“Whyd you bring this extra over?”

You rolled your eyes with your cheeks on fire, pretending like the comment didn't hurt as Mina gasped at his blatant rudeness

“Whatever, Bakugo, your just still bitter that I beat you in training last week-”

“Howd you beat me?! I was distracted for 2 seconds, that was no win-”

“Really?! So eating the dirt because I had KO-ed your cocky ass doesn't mean-”

“It means jack shit baka!”

Unknowing to the both of you as you bickered, Kaminari was sneaking behind you two with a pair of handcuffs while Sero followed him with an evil grin from behind

Before you two even knew it, Kaminari had clasped one side of a pair of hand cuffs to one of your wrists and one to Bakugos, Sero using his tape quirk to keep you two from squirming

You were confused and startled on what was even going on, while Bakugo was extremely pissed off

“What the hell do you think youre doing you idiots!”

“Cool down Spiky, or youll blow a fuse!” Sero laughed at his handiwork as you both squirmed to get out on the restraints

“Im gonna do worse than blow a fuse,” Bakugo spat at the whole grorup, “Im gonna blow up your asses into space once I get out of this!”

“Ohhh no your not!” Kirishima smirked at Bakugo”s clearly agitated face and your distressed expression “You two are going to stay like this until you can act like normal human beings around each other”

“Kirishima this isnt cool!” you whined, “How long am I going to have to be attached to this rabid hedgehog?!” You nodded towards Bakugo, who clearly didn't like your comment

“Rabid hedgehog?!” Bakugo shrieked, “Say that one more time and Ill-”

“And youll blast me into space? Fry me into Hell? Kick my ass into next week? Save your breath Katsuki, Ive heard every threat you can throw at me!” You snapped at Bakugou, your annoyance and stress of being stuck to him for God’s no how long making you jumpy-you cant be stuck to your crush YOU CANT

Bakugo looked like a fish gulping for a water as he was looking for a come back to that, as Kirishima, Sero, and Kaminari looked shocked and amused by a stuttering Bakugo

“You guys are gonna stay together for as long as you need to,” Kirishima said, “we have the key to unlock the cuffs, so when you guys are ready- just come and get one of us!”

The group walked out, Sero and Kaminari betting how long it would take you two to have an agreement as Kirishima pushed them out the door

You stood there with Bakugou awkwardly for a few moments, him unable to look at you-his cheeks were on fire because of one little thing you said earlier

And you didnt even know GOD DAMMIT

You looked at Bakugou, thinking he was just ignoring you like usual- the BrAt

You sighed, “Look- if were going to be chained up like this, might as well get some things off our chests….” you swallowed hoping he couldnt feel your hand shake from being so close to him

He didnt say anything, your voice ringing in his ears and making me him shiver- GOD DAMMIT WHY WAS HE SO DAMN WEAK FOR YOU

He didnt say anything for a while, making you feel hurt and kinda bored

“Fine then, if you dont want to talk, at least walk with me to the kitchen-”

“You called me Katsuki.” He grumbled, still not wanting to look at you

“What?” You looked at him, confused on WHY he wouldnt look at you and why calling him by his first name was such a big deal

 “You called me by my first name-Katsuki.”

“Okkkkaaaay,” you drawled out, completely confused and annoyed, “dont know why that would bother you so much but can we plese just-”

Bakugo huffed in annoyance, his cheecks on fire, “You dont get it do you baka?! No one calls me Katsuki because Id kick their asses if they ever did-but-”

“But what?” you asked kinda gentle, seeing Bakugo struggling to say something to you and curiosity was getting to you

Is He GoNnA ConfeSS ;o

“But-you-said….it...and I-I-was...okay with it….” he struggled out, his face contorting so much to just push that out of him you were kinda worried

You looked at him, completely amused and not really taking him seriously

“That was it? I said your first name and you didnt have the urge to rip my head off like you usually do? I guess we can consider that progress!” you kinda laughed nervously, making Bakugo wish you would laugh again and then cursing at himself for thinking that

He hated how you made his head feel dizzy and it was making him angry

“You dont get it do you baka?!” he shouted aggresively, “I was okay with it because I like you and I fucking hate it!”

You stopped breathing, your eyes wide with shock and your brain seeming to shut down

“You-you-like- me? Like- more than a- friend?” you stuttered, looking at his face which was now obviously red

“See anyone else in the room? Of course its you who else would I fucking say that to!” he retorted, wishing the heat in his face would BACK OFF

OH CRAPPPPPPPPPPPP HE CONFESSED YALL :D

“I like you too….Katsuki,” you smiled, watching his face get even redder

  “Awww you look so cute blushing!”

“Shut up you baka!”

You laughed, making him feel all warm and squishy inside

“Well, I guess Kaminari is going to owe Sero $20- we deifnitely got this figured out in under an hour.”

-----------------------------------

I hope your day (or night) is going well!

REQUESTS + MATCHUPS ARE OPEN!

[whence-the-woody]

Finale commentary under the cut

So I wanted to kind of liveblog as I was watching but held back so these are my remembered reactions/second watch reactions

Bummed there was no song recap but quickly figured itd play at the end

PUPPY. Best part of the ep, lbr, Dean was so cute with him

Theyre really doing a cheesey life montage huh - still not clear whether monsters are a thing in this new world?

I was watching the mins tick by during this first montage like OKAY we get it, cheesey happy home life, move along. There was only 40 mins left of the whole show like get on with it, it went way too long 

We definately needed to restablished that Sam is neat while Dean is messy. Totally necessary to spend time on that. Also didnt Dean get houseproud when they moved into the bunker?? What happened to that?

OMG get on with it

Then becomes apparent that hunting is still a thing. Which if so what was the point of showing then doing fucking laundry and dishes while “Ordinary life” plays - if its not just an ordinary life?

At this point i thought it might go the route of them being listless without hunting as a job but then murder scene so I guess not

This whole pie sequence is stupid and a waste of time, we all know it

Dean being a cold, heartless bitch about everyone being dead. Aces. Not unexpected but still just great. How dare you be so happy about pie fuck you dude. 

DOES ANYONE REMEMBER EILEEN

Pie is the face is not funny my dudes come the fuck on

I started skipping through during the murder scene. I was bored. Like, I dont care about tension building to the murder of a family we dont fucking know. Ive always skipped these scenes, what is the damn point. Its not scary or interesting. 

GET ON WITH IT

Same old FBI bullshit. Nice to see the journal again I guess. But like, this is STILL what we’re doing? In the very last ep? Same old, different day, just like 15 years ago. Really?

Singer and Kripke. Subtle. 

I skipped through the interrogation too. I dont find the scary brother act cool or entertaining 

15 mins in and nothing has happened

Theyre trying so hard to give Dean jokes and nothing is landing, its so cringe just stop

The way the little clown faces pop up - if that supposed to be scary? Really? Its all just so silly rn

Watching it again I realise just how easy this hunt is. The answer is in the journal. They find the exact family. They find the exact barn. The kids are just stood in a cupboard. This is what takes Dean out, really? Its not even a normal hunt, its a way too fucking easy one. 

I do not remember this chick or what ep she was in, maybe theres some parallell or foreshadowing by bringing her back but if there is I dont get it

Bottom line if youre gonna bring people back WHY THE FUCK THIS RANDOM GIRL

I knew so fast he was gonna go out like that. Hanging from a fucking nail

I kept saying out loud not like this, no way, this is so stupid, its so stupid omg

I paused and tried to talk myself into putting aside how stupid and awkward it was for him to be doing this scene hanging off a pole and just try to invest in the emotion of the speech. Which I achieved at times

but why was is so awkward tho?? Just the way hes stood pressed against it is fucking weird. Also 1000% Sam couldve gotten help and he wouldve been FINE. It took so long for them to talk, an ambulance couldve been there before they were done, there was no need for this

Okay the speech did make me cry once I pep talked myself into being invested. The reference to being scared Sam would reject him, the I love you so much, Sam saying dont leave me, the stay with me and tell me its okay - all those moments got me and I did cry. I appreciated the family business line. I liked Jensen telling Jared he always keeps fighting, that was a nice reference. 

BUT there were also those moments that made me scoff, roll my eyes or laugh. The whole “always you and me” bullshit especially. The second I knew he was going to say I’ll be in your heart I yelled at them to no do it, I hate that cheesey move, then literally was like “oh my god, he did it”. It WAS NOT always going to end like this - so much of the last 15 years was proving him wrong about that. This is all just so wrong, it is not good. 

Jensen and Jared did a good job with what they were given in this scene but my god

The audacity of the Cas erasure- always you and me. FUCK YOU. 

I laughed out loud when his last shot was a One Perfect Tear. I was literally like “Oh wow they did that”

DEAN DESERVED A BETTER DEATH

It also kinda loses all impact when you see him like 2 mins later

MIRACLE IS THE REAL MVP ILY

Theyre really doing another montage. Really. Like we get it, hes sad, we didnt need the toast to understand that

Omg Miracle by his side. The best of bois. 

Looking around his room like beer and guns was all dean was. Sure. Aces. 

I choose to believe Bon Jovi was a ref to before Dean went to hell

If Donna is back why isnt anyone else?!?

Oh Jared you look so old bby. Go home. He looks older there then later in the ridiculous make up

Why is that shot made to look like hes leaving the bunker forever?? Like that makes no sense

Bobby greeting him is nice and all BUT IT SHOULDVE BEEN CAS

Also they are 1000% doing the show don’t tell by having Bobby just sit and explain everything. SO FUCKING LAZY

Cas has been out of the empty, helping rebuild heaven. Okay, fine. Even Dean’s reaction to hearing that was fine. BUT YOU ASK WHERE YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND IS AND GO SEE HIM. WHO IS THIS VERSION OF DEAN WTF

I know people are upset Cas is back working in heaven but I dont think its anything like before. It sounds like he helped fixed things then got his own heaven. Also he’s God’s Dad, hes not serving God, hes teaching him. I know human Cas done right is what we wanted but I dont hate this for him. BUT WE SHOULD HAVE FUCKING SEEN IT. 

Why is a memory of being a kid with his Dad what Dean is reminiscing on. They have literally reverted him back to s1. There are so many memories dean should be thinking about in fucking heaven

Hes going for a drive

Hes going for a motherfucking drive

In the car he was just in

WHY THE FUCK IS HE ACTING LIKE HE HASNT SEEN BABY IN YEARS WHAT IS THIS SHIT

Hes going to drive around doing nothing until Sam gets there are you fucking kidding me. Not going to see any of his family from the last 15 years, just driving. Absolute horseshit. 

This is the moment where you realise that this episode has changed NOTHING. This is the same ending as the last ep except theyre in heaven not on earth

ITS THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING

Okay so they skip over how Sam went from going on a hunt to walking with a toddler. OMG how unsubtle that they have literally just labelled the child Dean in big yellow letters. I couldnt help but laugh, how fucking stupid. 

I did get a bit teary when the music started I’ll be honest. But mostly through the whole montage (ANOTHER ONE) I was saying to myself This is so fucking stupid. omg this is dumb, what the fuck is this, so stupid.

They literally did a montage so long they had to play the song twice. Im just done at this point wow. 

The old man make up is so bad I just laughed. The only pictures being of the 4 of them, reinforcing the Winchester only bullshit, great. Not even pics of this new random family Sam’s got. The painfully cliche Dad moments for Sam, again so bad its funny. Omg the hand on the head of this random kid, this is so ridiculous. Old man sam in his bad wig trying so hard to move like hes old and crying in the impala. Wtf is happening, this is SO STUPID 

I thought theyd cast a more attractive son I’ll be honest. So he has the tattoo - are they a hunting family? Because that would go against both s1 Sam they’ve tried to go back to and the s15 Sam they build up to for all those years

I know they were going for an emotional parallel with that “you can go now” but this random man saying it to Sam in that make up, with the music cue lined up right there - its just funny coz its so dumb im sorry

I cant believe they actually played another different version, I’ll never get over that

Theres alot of things I’ll never get over

Is this bridge supposed to mean something? They shouldve picked a setting that meant something

I know theyre trying so hard to make Dean look happy and peaceful to convince us its a good ending but sis no

I laughed out loud when Dean turned around - WHAT IS THAT OUTFIT SAM?

Really, they have nothing to say? No questions, no convo? They just have cheesey smiles and look over the water? This is so wrapped up in a fucking bow trying to force us to feel good my god

The cut almost immediately to them talking to the camera, still in character getup, was so cringe I yelled and turned it off

And they pan out to literally none of the people we want to see . Great, Good. 

LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE POINT 

[happyhealthycats]

Simcoe and Citra

These girls have been making their rounds on tumblr for a while. Mostly Citra for her endearing honk-meow. I figured it’s time to put in an update!

I will say that their origin gets a little sad. While I don’t normally cling to the “all shelter animals have a sad life” (Heimdall didn’t. Sif didn’t.) These girls absolutely had a rough start in this world. But I promise there’s a happy ending.

My husband and I bought a house and had a wonderful roommate who lived with us. She brought her cat, who got along with our cats wonderfully. When she moved out, we felt a bit of a hole in our hearts where our previous roommate cat had been. We contemplated adopting another cat. We were no longer in our apartment, and our local laws didn’t have any stipulation on the amount of cats you could keep inside (outside of serious instances where Animal Control is required, but 3 was hardly near that limit). So we thought about it.

As always, we went to get some food for Heimdall and Sif, and in the window were these two beautiful orange girls who were snuggling together as closely as possible.

We were told they were Clementine and Savannah, and they were in the store because they had almost no human interaction at 5 months old. They were found outside at 10 weeks, and their foster home kept them in a cage. Their foster had trouble handling them at all, so they just left them in the cage with their food and didn’t touch them or interact with them at all. They were only touched to get ringworm medicine (which they had a rather nasty case of), and other upper respiratory medication. So their only human interaction was stressful on them. Putting them in the store was the last ditch effort to get them used to people so they could realistically be pets and not just terrified of everyone.

In the cage, Savannah allowed us to pet her when she ate. Clementine would not approach us at all. We asked to see Savannah in their meeting room.

She hid and hissed at us the entire time. Hair on end, ears flat, completely terrified. But I saw something in her while she was in that cage where she had spent so much time. Savannah had the ability to warm up, she just needed the time and patience to help her. 

We couldn’t decide if we wanted to adopt her though. It would take a lot of work, and they would probably NEVER be comfortable with people. My husband and I knew that if we took them home, we would be the ones to feed them and give them places to hide and exist as comfortably as possible. Take them to the vet and care for them. They would never be as friendly as Heimdall or Sif. 

But the Pet Valu manager told us that they were getting out of their cute kitten phase where folks were willing to look past their issues because they were so young. They were already hard to home, but in a few weeks, they’d go back to their foster home permanently. Kept in a cage and kept away from people like feral cats.

So we asked if the girls were a bonded pair. The manager said “Well, Savannah would be okay since you have cats at home. But Clementine would probably decline.”

So without skipping a beat, my husband chimed in with, “Then we’ll take them both.”

They normally didn’t do this, but our friend let us take them home on a foster to adopt 2 week window.

At first, Clementine ran under the bed and stayed there. We made sure food, water, and a litter box was close by for them and just left them alone. Savannah stayed in the carrier, too terrified to even run out and join her sister. But eventually I moved the carrier closer, and Savannah darted under the bed and sat with her sister for HOURS.

But, they would eat and drink after a few hours. We heard them use the litter box in the night. We left them alone and just spent a lot of time in the room with them. We didn’t reach for them, or try and grab them or pet them. Everything was on their terms. As long as they were eating, drinking, and going to the bathroom, they were okay. 

In less than a week, something amazing happened. These two kittens who were so scared of people began to come out of their shells. We couldn’t hold them, but they climbed into the cat tree and made noises in order to get our attention. Savannah did it first. Clementine tried to imitate her sister, but never quite got the hang of it, (and Citra has her wonderful little honk from that).

We thought of names. We just couldn’t think of anything that fit them. But then my husband, an avid beer drinker, suggested “Citra and Simcoe”, after hop variants. Cute names for little orange girls, and it kept the “C” and “S” names from Clementine and Savannah.

With that, they were named. And obviously, they were home with us.

They had a lot of growing to do. After a trip to the vet, we found out that both girls had FHV. Citra was able to eventually shake it after an ear infection, but Simcoe remains symptomatic on and off to this day. We work with our vet to keep her symptoms in check. Sometimes it’s just her being a little sniffly. Sometimes she sneezes. Sometimes she has discharge from her eyes or nose. She’s on some vitamins to help her immune system, and we keep a humidifier for her running all the time.

So how are they now?

I’m honestly still emotional over the huge turn around these amazing girls did. I’ll give you the run down one at a time.

Citra:

Our funny little Citra bear has gotten so much better at looking for human attention. At first, she didn’t want ANY. But now, she approaches our friends for pets, even if she’s not quite sure how to do it. Since she missed that ideal socialization window, she’s a little unsure about how to seek affection. She’ll often lean her head forward in that typical “head-butt” way, but while doing that she’ll walk away. She’s still skittish when it comes to people, but she will stand on the table and honk at you until you reach your hand out and let her try and pet herself on your hand.

However, she absolutely ADORES the other cats in the house. When we finally introduced them (slowly, slowly OH so slowly) to the other cats, she immediately gravitated towards Heimdall and Sif. She became fast friends with Heimdall, while remaining absolute best friends with her sister. They sleep, play, and groom together so well. As I type this Citra is laying with both Heimdall AND Seymour on the bed. 

Citra also has an A+ blep, along with just being incredibly silly. She’s an absolute joy.

Simcoe:

Our shy little girl has become a huge snuggle bug. She sleeps with us every single night and she absolutely loves being touched and pet. She’s very shy around people who aren’t my husband or I. But I tell people who visit if they want to see Simcoe, just come into the bedroom, close the door, and sit down on the floor. Sooner or later, she’ll come over and rub up against you. She requires a gentle voice and a gentle touch, but she was so starved for affection I feel like she’s making up for it now that she knows she’s safe.

I mentioned her health, and because she’s so sick, sometimes she gets too nauseated to eat from being congested. And, as I said before, we’ve worked very hard with our vet to get Simcoe to the best weight she can be and keeping her as healthy as possible. One of her triggers for FHV is stress, and with such a skittish cat, it’s very difficult. However, living in a cage would have been infinitely worse for this wonderful girl.

Simcoe has the sweetest expressive eyes. Sometimes I just sit down and pet her for so long because I remember how happy she was when she finally let us touch her. She was so starved for attention and when she finally got it, she didn’t want it to stop (it never will).

Citra and Simcoe are still each other’s best friends. They sleep together, play together, groom each other, share their food (they have separate bowls but they will just switch back and forth). 

I’m always so proud to see how far these amazing little cats have come. Simcoe used to hiss at me when I put her food down. Citra never made noise before coming to live with us. It was worth every single long hour waiting for them to get comfortable enough to eat with me in the same room. Or being willing to walk down the hallway and go into the kitchen. Or finally rolling over and showing us their bellies.

These girls are the ones that inspired me to get my certification. 

We took a chance on them, and they were their own beautiful reward.

[ldarchive]

all or some of: 10, 18, 19, 20, 25, 28, 30, 35, 36, 39, 40, 41, 42 for the ask meme =) lay all the ari facts on me

ty indigo ilu… shepardposting no limits (HOPEFULLY THE READMORE WORKS?)

10. What kind of friend is Shepard?

the “will give you shit but also go to the ends of the earth” for you type i suppose…he shows his affection thru gentle bullying. he can also be kind of genuinely an overbearing asshole at times, but he gets better with it; it takes him a while to, uh, adjust to having “friends” in the first place. he’s a dad friend if your dad is kind of a grumpy punk with a rude and morbid sense of humor

18. Share a headcanon about Shepard and their LI.

[struggling to come up with something i haven’t talked about a million times] uhhhhhh

kaidan wanted to propose with one of his dad’s old rings but he figured out it wouldn’t fit ari’s finger, so (with his mother’s blessing/assurance that his dad would have been more than happy abt it, etc) he had the gold melted down to make a new ring. in my mind it looks smth like this and yes ari totally cried a little

it also took kaidan weeks of near-misses to work up the nerve to propose even tho he Knew ari was gonna say yes, he was just really worried about getting it right. eventually he just did it on their balcony and ari got surprised and dropped his cigarette and kaidan got a cool new engagement burn scar on his arm but it was nice

19. Why did they fall for each other?

ari fell for kaidan bc he’s not just intelligent, but perceptive; he’s a realist who errs toward optimism and making the best of bad situations; he believes people can and should be better; he has a surprisingly understated sense of humor; he can keep up with ari’s teasing; ari asks him if he’s a romantic and he denies it and then gives, like, the most romantic answer in the world. he’s cute.

kaidan fell for ari bc……. he has big arm. ok but uh i think it’s because he’s, pretty practical and matter of fact and doesn’t care all that much about the social trappings that kaidan continually tortures himself with… he makes kaidan feel Seen and Understood but doesn’t make a big dramatic deal out of everything kaidan tells him, he just treats him… like a person. for someone who’s been living with & defining themselves by their issues for as long as kaidan has, it’s pretty incredible to find someone who just makes him feel like a human being again

20. What are their common interests or hobbies?

a lot of their relationship is like, meeting each other in the middle haha, but there are some things they both enjoy a lot with no caveats:

- cooking! kaidan’s a foodie and it becomes ari’s therapy hobby after me3, so it’s smth they enjoy doing together a lot. they try to do it more often if possible, but their general friday night tradition is to come home, crack open a couple beers, and cook a big meal together

- they are both outdoorsy Adventure Dads… it takes a while before ari can handle more than a walk around the park but eventually he and kaidan can go hiking again and they both rly love it. i imagine theyd be into stuff like camping, swimming, kayaking, etc too dfjnfg

25. Is there something they fight about?

well, everyone gets into arguments occasionally, but i don’t really think they fight all that often… not that they agree on everything all the time, but they’ve both gotten pretty good at talking things out and also deciding whether or not something is even worth arguing about in the first place. when you are dating someone during the apocalypse and don’t have to any time to waste those are both pretty valuable skills haha [i think the most they ever fought in their relationship was post-me3, when ari got out of the hospital and they’d both started to ‘settle in’ to their new lives but it was a bumpy adjustment and they were both going thru a lot of trauma and stress and bottling it up etc. it wasnt a great time but they worked thru it]

28. What would they like to change about the other?

it’s a double-edged sword, bc it’s part of what attracts kaidan to him as well, but sometimes kaidan really wishes ari had more a self-preservation instinct!! sometimes his tendency to charge headfirst into trouble is sexy, sometimes kaidan is tired and sad and it just gets really old

ari wishes kaidan would loosen up a little although, again, the straight-laced military thing (unfortunately) kinda does it for him. he would also take away kaidans chronic pain if he could

30. When did they realise they fell in love?

fr kaidan it was shortly after virmire and it absolutely scared the shit out of him ahaha

ari is dumb so he didn’t really realize until after horizon, which was probably a bad way to figure that out,35. Is there anything they dislike about the other?

ari appreciates how thoughtful kaidan is but sometimes it’s like… a bit… much lmao, he’s not as navel gaze-y as kaidan is so sometimes the process of having to talk everything out gets tiring. for kaidan it’s kind of the opposite, he sometimes perceives ari’s lack of forethought as a lack of care, which isn’t really true, he just works differently

on a much pettier level, ari gets annoyed that kaidan wants to sleep in all the time and kaidan gets annoyed that ari drowns all his food in hot sauce. hello, i worked hard on that steak36. What are their best memories together?

advtykefd cheesy but i like to think they got to take a little bit of leave after me1 so… they rented a log cabin somewhere (not sure if they went back to earth or just a colony planet somewhere?), turned off non-emergency comms on their omnitools and just chilled for a bit… went hiking, had drinks at the tiny bar in the closest small town, holed up in the cabin all day and had sex lmao it was probably the most peaceful week of aris entire life and it left a big impression on him

ofc later there’s stuff like their wedding day, their son’s birth, adopting their daughter etc. kaidan would probably even say, with the emotional distance provided by time, that horizon counts cuz even tho it sucked at the time nothing could have been better than realizing ari was alive

40. Is there someone in the squad of ME/ME2/ME3 Shepard dislikes? Why?

MIRANDA LOL… they just. do not see to eye or get along at all. i find their relationship very entertaining for this reason bc the dynamic of commander & XO who are both trying to be professional but do not respect e/o even the tiniest bit is so funny. theres a convo w her in me2 (i think it might be the one where you can initiate her romance?) where if you choose the renegade dialogue is hilarious to me… miranda makes some snide, passive aggressive comment about shepard based on their background (it’s like “it’s amazing how you’ve managed to succeed despite being _____” lmao) and then shepard is like “OH i get it, you’re jealous bc i’ve been more successful than you and TIM likes me more even tho i’m a big piece of shit idiot?” i love it it’s so funny. they both suck. eventually they do build some kind of mutual respect btwn them but theyre still… not exactly friends. i think in me3 ari was like “damn i hope miranda’s ok” and then when he actually met her again remembered why he used to be so pissed at her all the time lmao. (after me3 tho she saves his life Again and they probably have a lot of time in the hospital to just talk so maybe they do become genuine friends)

41. Are there any important relationships in Shepard’s past that defined their character? /42. Is there someone who had a great influence on Shepard?

just gonna try to combine these i guess,

- his parents, although he only got an unfortunate short time with them, he takes after both of them a lot, and the things his parents imparted on him stuck with him, but especially as he gets older he’s also really aware of the mistakes they made

-the reds, in general. not a really positive influence lmao but. they were his home for years & he learned how the world works through them, for better or worse… it’s why he’s a bit of a cynic, although later he is able to characterize it more as “this shit sucks But we can make it better” rather than just “this shit sucks”

- anderson was the first person ari ever felt saw him as a human being, and it was… a slow-going thing to learn to trust him ahah, but wanting to be worthy of anderson’s approval shaped a lot of his career decisions

[queenofcats17]

Okay so I had bit of a funny idea because of the story you did yesterday, which was amazing by the way! Do you think you could write something with Sammy and Corrupted!Henry and maybe Wally can be there too! (Because he didn’t escape like in the game, in my AU) and they’re just trying to keep him out of trouble? I just thought it would be kind of funny since Bendy wanted Sammy to look after him for awhile. It’ll probably be a bit angsty though. 😅 Sorry if this idea is kind of stupid though.

I’m so glad you liked it!

Prepare for some shenanigans! And maybe angst.

Sammy watched as Bendy vanished into the distance. Once he was sure the little demon was gone, he sighed and let his shoulders slump. Henry sat at his feet, smiling up at him. It pained Sammy to see him like this, stripped of his humanity. Apparently, Henry could sense Sammy’s sadness, as he oozed over and starting hugging Sammy’s legs while making comforting noises. Sammy found himself unable to resist a smile.

“Thank you, Henry.” He said, patting Henry’s head. Even if Henry had been corrupted, it was nice to be able to hug his old friend. 

“So, this is Henry Williams?” One of the Lost Ones asked tentatively. 

“Yes, this is him.” Sammy nodded. A few of the Lost Ones knelt in front of Henry, examining him and offering him food. Henry was admittedly rather excited by all this attention, and Sammy started introducing his congregation to his old friend. Most of them had only heard rumors of Henry Williams. More and more Lost Ones ventured out from their little shacks until there was a small crowd around Sammy and Henry. That was when Wally appeared. 

Wally had felt Henry’s corruption complete. Joey’s control had slipped for a moment and Henry’s location had been revealed to all those with a connection to the Ink. Most of the Lost Ones and Searchers hadn’t noticed Henry’s presence appear, but Wally had been paying close attention. They’d all been worried about Henry, and none of them had been quite sure where he was. So as soon as Joey had slipped enough to reveal Henry, Wally bolted to that location to see what he could do to help. He was pretty surprised when he found Henry in the Lost One village with Sammy, being fawned on by numerous Lost Ones.

“Yeesh. Did I miss something?” Sammy’s head snapped around at the sound of Wally’s voice.

“There you are!” He managed to push past the other Lost Ones to get over to Wally. “Where have you been? You just disappeared! We were all worried!”

“Sorry.” Wally gave a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his head. “I was lookin’ for Henry. Thought I could help. But, uh, looks like you found him first.”

“Bendy was taking care of him.” Sammy glanced back at Henry. “They were with Allison and Tom.”

“Alli and Tom? Seriously?” Wally’s eyes widened. “How’d the kid manage to get them to let Henry in?” Allison and Tom were good people, but they were extremely cautious around anyone who had been infected or was under the control of the hive mind. They had every right to be cautious, given how they were currently thorns in Joey’s side. 

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask.” Sammy made a vague hand gesture. 

“Right. Cool.” Wally let his eyes wander to where Henry was still being doted on by the Lost Ones. “So…He’s one of us now.”

“He…He is.” Sammy followed Wally’s gaze back to Henry. 

“I really thought we could get him out.”

“I did too.”

“At least…Joey won’t do anything too bad to him, right?” Wally’s voice had a slightly hopeful note. “He cares about Henry, right?”

“I don’t know,” Sammy admitted. “Joey tends to get…unpleasant when people don’t behave exactly as he wants them to.” Wally could tell this topic of conversation was only serving to depress Sammy. So he decided to change the subject. 

“Anyway!” Wally slung an arm around Sammy’s shoulder. “How’s it going? Jack says you haven’t visited him in a while.”

“I’ve been…busy.” Sammy hunched his shoulders a bit. Wally almost could have sworn he was blushing.

“Busy how?” Wally asked, grinning. 

“He’s been teaching us songs!” One of the Lost Ones piped up. 

“You’ve been singing without me?” Wally let out a faux horrified gasp. “You know how much I like to sing!”

“Well, I couldn’t find you!” 

The Lost Ones’ attention was drawn away from Henry by Sammy and Wally. They all started laughing quietly. It was always fun for them to see Sammy and Wally interact. Wally was one of the few people who could get away with teasing Sammy the way he did. The two were almost like brothers. Wally and Sammy were their light, their hope. Wally kept morale high and Sammy was a comforting presence for those who needed it. 

Unfortunately, since the Lost Ones had taken their eyes off of Henry, this meant no one was making sure he wasn’t getting into trouble. As a Searcher, Henry wasn’t nearly as cautious as he’d been before. He had no more fear of the ink. After all, he was made of the ink. With the Lost Ones distracted, Henry began to wander about. He’d never been in this place before. The buildings were strange, not like the ones he remembered. But what really caught his attention was the river of ink at the end of the docks. His eye lit up. He’d never seen so much ink before. He wondered if he could swim in it. Immediately, he began to set out for the river. 

“Wait, where’s Henry?” Wally suddenly asked. Sammy stopped talking, looking around as well. To their absolute horror, they saw Henry making his way towards the river of ink. They knew that anyone who fell into that much ink seldom managed to find their way out. 

“Henry no!” They both yelled, running over to snatch Henry away from the river. Henry pouted a little as Sammy scooped him up in his arms. 

“Henry! What were you thinking?!” Sammy said, putting Henry down a safe distance away from the ink. Henry folded his arms, sinking down and sulking. 

“I’m all for having a little fun, but that much ink is dangerous,” Wally added. “You’d never be able to find your way outta there.” Henry started making a whining sound, reminding both Wally and Sammy of a petulant child.

“This might be harder than I thought.” Sammy murmured. 

Watching Henry did indeed turn out to be harder than he’d anticipated. Both Wally and Sammy had their work cut out for them trying to keep Henry out of trouble. Henry wanted to go everywhere and touch everything. He tried to go to the mostly flooded office area, which was populated by Butcher Gang clones. He tried to slip into the vents. And he kept trying to go into the ink river. Neither Sammy nor Wally had ever anticipated having children, but they imagined that this was what it would be like to have a small child. 

“Geez.” Wally panted, sinking to the ground after he and Sammy had managed to wrestle Henry away from the river again. “Didn’t think it’d be this hard.” 

“He has no self-preservation instinct.” Sammy gasped. Henry sat in front of them, smiling innocently. 

“You’re lucky you’re our friend,” Wally said, although his voice lacked any malice. “If you weren’t, I woulda dumped you.” Henry continued to smile, knowing full Wally would never do anything like that. 

“I hope Bendy comes back soon.” Sammy curled up on the ground. He needed a nap. A long one. Henry oozed over, curling up with Sammy and making contented noises. 

“Okay, that’s pretty cute,” Wally admitted. 

“Mm.” Sammy closed his eyes, letting himself drift off. Wally snorted, pulling his hat down over his eyes. They’d both deserved a rest. 

[ezrisdax-archive]

a new standard

It takes a while for Michael to get used to Tilly. That's not necessarily a bad thing. (also here on ao3)

~~

Tilly- Syliva, or Syl if that’s what you want to call me as Tilly had insisted Michael call her – waved at her when she arrived in the mess hall.

 “Michael!” Tilly voice was far too loud and bright given the hour of the day and some of the other officers shot her confused or dirty looks but she didn’t seem to notice. “Over here.”

 Michael sighed to herself, getting her food and making her way to the table where Tilly sat. She supposed it was better than sitting alone, at least Tilly no longer viewed her as ‘the mutineer’. Now she seemed to be actively trying to include Michael to make up for her previous behaviour.

 “Did you sleep okay? I mean I slept okay, but then I know I might have been snoring and that might have been annoying and-”

 “Tilly.” Michael cut off another rambling bout. “I slept fine.”

 “Oh.” Tilly broke out in to another smile. “That’s good then. Do you know what you’re working on today, you’re coming back to the science lab right?”

 “That’s what I’ve been ordered to.” Michael agreed, taking a sip from her tea.

 “Do you like it there?” It seemed like no matter how short Michael’s answers were Tilly was determined to bring her in to the conversation.

 “I enjoy looking at scientific advancement.” Michael admitted. “I’m curious to know what’s out there.”

 “I thought that you were raised by Vulcans?” Tilly tilted her head and scrunched up her nose a little, it was almost cute. Michael hid a small smile by taking another sip of her tea at that. “I mean I know Vulcans love science but aren’t you not supposed to enjoy stuff? Oh no.” Tilly flushed suddenly, “That was insensitive, oh this is why I’m never going to be a first contact mission.” Tilly bemoaned, dropping her head.

 “It’s fine.” Michael assured her though secretly she thought Tilly might be right and not suited for a first contact mission. Her throat felt tight as she continued. “Captain Georgiou encouraged me to embrace some human aspects of exploration.” She didn’t mention that she was only really expressing it now in the wake of Philippa’s death.

 “You really admired her.” Tilly said quietly, fiddling idly with her fork. “I’m sorry.”

 Michael swallowed hard, “Thank you.” She replied quietly in kind. Tilly squirmed in the ensuing silence but didn’t say anything else, leaving Michael to her thoughts.

 ~~

 “You’re still here.” Tilly said somewhere behind Michael, sliding up beside her.

 “Since you’ve found me here, then logically yes I am.” Michael responded, not moving her gaze away from her screen.

 “C’mon.” Tilly yawned widely and Michael glanced at her from the corner of her eye. Her hair was back down in it’s many curls instead of up in a bun like usual and she was dressed in her pajamas.

 “Did you walk through the hallway like that?” Michael asked furrowing her brow and turning to face Tilly.

 Tilly glanced down and then her eyes widened. “Oh no. Oh no I did. Do you think anyone saw me?” She was beat red though the blue light cast by the screen turned her more purple. “I just woke up and you weren’t there and I got worried.” She glanced back at the door, biting her lip in worry and Michael could tell she was thinking if she ran into anyone while in the corridors.

 Michael shut down her screen and reached out to touch Tilly’s arm to get her attention. “Come on, I know a way back that shouldn’t have anybody around.” She’d learned it because she could tell she was making people uncomfortable and even the glares got tiring after a while.

 Tilly grabbed at her wrist as Michael led the way and babbled on about how she was glad that Michael knew where she was going and her vision at night was so poor. Michael mostly tuned it out, leading them back to their shared room.

 Once they were in she made move to go back out but Tilly stopped her with her hold still on Michael’s wrist. “You’re not going back are you?”

 “I still have work to do.” Michael said and tried to gently remove her wrist. She didn’t actually want to hurt Tilly after all.

 “You need some sleep.” Tilly said and raised her head stubbornly which only lasted for a second before she met Michael’s eyes. “Please?”

 Michael held in her sigh and nodded. “Very well.” She’d see if she could sneak out when Tilly was asleep again.

 Tilly beamed at her and let go of her wrist and Michael suddenly felt cold but knew logically it was just because of the sudden absence of warmth where it had been. She rubbed at her wrist anyway.

 “You know Michael I’m glad you’re my roommate.” Tilly said between another yawn as she slipped back under her covers. “It was pretty lonely in here.”

 Michael hesitated for a second. “I was…lonely as well.” She had been. It hurt to say but with the ostracization from the rest of it reminded her of her years on Vulcan never being accepted by her peers. On the Shenzhou Philippa had always been there as her friend and mentor. Discovery felt empty in that way.

 “Well now you’ve got me.” Tilly said and there wasn’t a hint of doubt in her voice. “Night Michael.” The lights overhead turned off at Tilly’s command and Michael laid on her bed, thinking.

 “Good night Tilly.” She said after a few minutes when she was sure that Tilly was still asleep anyway. It wasn’t Vulcan of her to admit her loneliness but it sure felt human.

 She took a deep breath, purging all emotions from her mind as she’d been taught as a child. The warm assurance that Tilly was there however remained. The snoring from the other side of the room helped with that.

 ~~

 The tricorder was long since broken and Michael’s right arm was burning with whatever acid had dripped on to it. Tilly was pressed against her other side with Michael’s left arm slung over her shoulder and was rambling on about how much trouble they were in.

 Michael wished, not for the first time, that she was a Vulcan so she could help calm Tilly down.

 “Breathe.” She murmured in Tilly’s ear instead and Tilly sucked in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

 “Okay. Okay. What do we do?” Tilly still sounded worried but at least not as panicked as before.

 “We need to contact the others. We’ll have to set up a distress beacon. I can walk you through it.” With her right arm out of use currently she couldn’t do it.

 Tilly helped her get seated on a piece of rubble on the planet they’d landed on. They’d answered a distress beacon of their own only to find it was a trap for some kind of alien gladiatorial arena where they forced species to fight each other.

 Michael had bested whatever species had hurt her arm with it’s poison and Tilly had been quick to blow a hole in the arena with chemicals she found around them and gotten them out but they were still in trouble wandering the world aimlessly and no idea where their crewmates were.

 Tilly listened as Michael instructed her, every second it hurt to talk more and more and she had feeling the poison was spreading. She wanted to shut her eyes and just succumb to sleep to not feel the pain but she knew she had to stay awake.

 “You don’t look so good.” Tilly said once the beacon was set up and she’d rushed to Michael’s side again. “This isn’t good.” She had pushed up Michael’s sleeve and the poison was indeed running up her arm now. “It hurts doesn’t it?” She didn’t let Michael answer. “That’s a stupid question of course it does. I’m sorry I asked it. Is there…anything I can do?” Her eyes looked wet as she looked at Michael, close to tears.

 Michael gritted her teeth before she answered to steel herself from the pain. “We just have to wait until we’re answered.”

 Tilly hovered over her, fluttering between her and the beacon and looking more desperate as the minutes ticked by.

 Michael licked her lips, “Tilly-” She paused, “Syliva.”

 Tilly’s head shot up at her first name, her mouth dropped open in surprise.

 “If I don’t make it-” Michael began.

 “You’re going to!” Tilly blurted out before she could continue. “You’re going to and, and, I’ll bring you plomeek soup! And read you Alice in Wonderland while you’re stuck in medbay and um.” Tilly stopped, her shoulders falling. “You can’t die.”

 Michael laughed quietly, more a huff under her breath than anything else at the idea of Tilly annoying the other patients in medbay as she’d constantly visit Michael. She’d constantly be there and Michael knew it.

 Before she could answer though a ship’s light felt over them, wind whipping around them as the ship landed.

 “Looks like you’ll have to.” Michael said drily and Tilly wiped at her eyes to get rid of the tears though it did no good. She helped Michael get up and to the ship, staying right next to her the whole ride back even as medical poked at her.

 ~~

 True to her word Tilly was there every second she could be and they’d eventually kicked Michael out to recuperate in their room instead. She was off the duty roster for one week and it was making her feel twitchy but Tilly came back after the shift with padds of data for her to look at and stories of what they’d done that day.

 She sat on Michael’s bed, right next to Michael. The first time she’d done it Michael had shifted even closer to the wall and been somewhat annoyed. Now she pressed right against Tilly as they looked over the data.

 She was still scrolling through it as Tilly fell asleep on her bed and Michael knew she should wake her so Tilly could move to her own and not have to worry about possible rashes but a few minutes couldn’t hurt.

 Her right hand still hung at her side as she scrolled with her left and her fingers brushed by Tilly’s own, taking in the comforting warmth.

 ~~

 At some point they’d moved to Tilly’s bed over the course of the weeks so that when Tilly inevitably fell asleep all Michael would have to do was move over to her own. She usually still ended up staying there for a little while longer.

 Some nights Tilly’s head would drop on to her shoulder and Michael would stiffen for a second before allowing it.

She knew logically this wasn’t just what friends would do and she was staring too long at Tilly these days, noting the shape of her lips as she smiled and the flush in her cheeks as she laughed. Perhaps at some point something would come of it, she’d noticed Tilly staring more as well.

 If it did, she thought with her fingers entwined with Tilly’s as they’d gotten somewhere between the afternoon, she didn’t think she’d mind it at all.

[heybinnie]

i dunno if anyone watches steven universe but i gotta dump sth here

steven universe au

some context

there is Homeworld, located in space, where gems are made and are from

the three-ish people who lead Homeworld are called the Diamonds

every other gem kinda worships them and has to follow their every order

thousands of years ago, Homeworld set out to make Earth like this place to experiment making gems and shit and basically just rekt Earth for their own use

which is BAD

so basically the Diamonds suck

so Rose Quartz, right, shes a gem from Homeworld who saw Earth as a beautiful place and something worth saving

she believed that all life on earth is beautiful

SO she betrayed her own home to protect her new home, that is Earth

she started a rebellion called the Crystal Gems

whoever joined her had to remember that they could be killed, and if they won, they couldnt go back to Homeworld and have to stay on Earth

so they went to war with Homeworld called the Gem War and they won!!!!!

but the Crystal Gems lost a lot of their members

until there was only Rose, Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl left

Rose (Whos a gEm REMEMBER) she falls in love with a human

Rose gets pregnant!!!

BUT

their baby and her cant exist at the same time

so rose has to give up her physical form so that her baby can live

which means

her baby will be half human half gem, and will thus have her gem

so her baby lives, but without his mom

thats steven

and bc she led the rebellion, steven has to ‘deal’ with everything his mom left behind

which is a lot of stuff

about where Steven lives!!

he lives alone in this house, but its like connected to the Temple where the Crystal Gems live, so in a sense its basically just a big house with a huge weird basement so they all kinda live together idk how to explain this

lives on the beach!!! its so cute i love the place

THE CRYSTAL GEMS!!!

sanha is steven (*starts crying*)

his rose quartz gem is on his chest, over his heart

has never met his mom

so never really knew the love of a mother but it never really ~occurred~ to him until she becomes really important

I CANT TeLL YOU HOW EMOTIONALLY DRAINING IT WOULD BE TO BE STEVEN OK

so anyway sanha is a sweetheart

also is musically talented in every way

likes to sing random songs out of nowhere

likes to mess with his ‘guardians’ a lot aka the rest of the crystal gems

but they all have a soft spot for him no matter how much he messes up

he always does his best bro

and its so cute bc hes just the baby brother and hes surrounded by a bunch of hundreds or thousands of years old gems lmao

sometimes hes left alone at home when the rest of the crystal gems go on missions too dangerous for him

and when his dad is busy

hes alone at home

and its really quiet and the painting of his mother hangs on top of their front door, and sanha gets really lonely and just cries sometimes

so when rocky comes over his chest always fills up with warmth and relief

to sanha, his family is everything

also adorable. absolutely adorable no one can say no to his face tbh

jinjin is garnet??

hes created the exact same way garnet was

his gems are in the same places--both palms

jinjin loves the concept of love in general

bc hes literally made out of love

like legit

hes a fusion: a sapphire and ruby who werent supposed to but fell in love, and gems do this thing where when theyre really emotionally bonded and stuff theyd fuse? which is like. thats a lot of trust for each other ykno

so jinjins a fusion

people look down on fusions bc theyre usually thought to only be useful to like fight but jinjin exists because of love

YOU FEEL ME

and jinjin honestly doesnt care about what people think of him bc he exists

but he feels very strongly for fusions!!

hes also considered the ‘strongest’ because hes a fusion

also the de facto leader of the crystal gems

always calm and level headed but occasionally likes to crack a joke

everyone loves him

jinjin is jinjin in the sense that he is always kind and likes to make sanha laugh

soft spot for sanha

sanha trusts him a LOT

often looks to him for advice, when something goes wrong, for safety and warmth and protection

eunwoo is pearl

he hides his gem beneath his bangs?? bc hes embarrassed :’)

pearls are considered only useful as ‘accessories’ and servants to the Diamonds

gems from Homeworld think of pearls as the ‘lowest’ gems

but this boy learns to love and be confident of himself come FIGHT ME

no one owns eunwoo man he’s his own gem

hes really super duper smart

sometimes he and jinjin fight bc he sees things more logically>? while jinjin acts more on intuition and stuff?

mj makes fun of eunwoo sometimes bc he doesnt know how to have fun? but then right after mj helps him so thats kinda cute

but also eunwoo berates mj a lot bc 

well its mj

also chides sanha a lot when he doesnt keep the house in order

often helps to clean up

anyway hes considered the ‘closest’ to Rose Quartz bc hed been fighting by her side the longest

so he misses her a lot but eunwoo doesnt blame sanha for any of it; he loves sanha all the same

but then bin THE LION comes into the picture and eunwoo gets this weird but warm, familiar sense of comfort from bin, something he remembers feeling around Rose when she was still around, so he likes to hang with bin a lot

even if bin the lion likes to lie on his face and whap him in the face with his tail and leave fur everywhere

anyway

mj is amethyst

but like....hes an amber

his gem is on hiS BACK between his shoulderblades

the history of amethyst: amethysts are ‘made’ on earth, theyre made mostly to be soldiers and fight for homeworld

somewhere above pearls on the hierarchy i guess

theyre made in the Kindergarten, where there are these holes in the walls where the gems would come out of

at some point mj’s kindergarten kind of became like a ‘bad place’ and every gem that grew out of there were like parasites

so that Kindergarten was abandoned

and mj, the hole he came out of, his hole was smaller than everyone else’s

he came out smaller than everyone else

he was considered a ‘defect’ and weaker than the others

anyway bc the place was abandoned and he had nowhere to go since no one wanted him, mj just stuck around alone by himself for hundreds of years

until Rose came along (when she was still alive of course) and offered him to join the Crystal Gems

and Rose taught him love and how he was worth fighting for and he mattered and that he wasnt a defect, not a parasite, that he deserved love and to be loved and to love others and

im emo

ANYWAY

MJ IS MJ hes the mood maker and always makes sanha smile whenever sanha is feeling down

hes kinda like the glue that keeps the gems together

loves to have fun

but he gets really uncomfortable whenever the topic of the other ambers or the Kindergarten is brought up like hes super insecure of where hes from

he tries to smile it off tho but he really just doesnt like talking about it

protecc mj

ROCKY!! IS CONNIE!!!!!!!!!

SANHA’S HUMAN BEST FRIEND

who sanha really pours his heart out to!!!

and rocky as rocky doesnt give him shit ykno but he real talks sanha

a lot

rocky also doesnt care that sanha is half gem and half human; like doesnt care and just likes him for him

sticks around through thick and thin and hell and highwater

believes in sanha, holds a lot of faith in him

but hes still your Rocky Swag

always listens to sanha whenever he needs someone to talk to

actually likes to hear about all his adventures with the other Crystal Gems

likes to touch and poke and prod at Sanha’s gem too

like he’d sometimes kinda just pull down on sanha’s collar just so he could look at his rose quartz gem sparkle in the sun and its so pretty he kinda wished he was a gem

anyway eventually he starts to really worry for sanha and wants to fight the bad guys with him, doesnt wanna be protected all the time

so rocky learns to fight

from jinjin

and rocky becomes especially good in combat and stuff and learns how to use some weapons from eunwoo (specialises in weapons) 

honestly rocky is a gem like hes a GIFT

sanha’s so thankful for him

but he also feels really bad bc he feels like hes pulling rocky into his own mess and putting him in danger

but rocky doesnt care he just wants to be by sanha’s side and help him wherever he can and support him all the way through

im emo

rocky also holds sanha quietly when he cries about his mom

which starts to get more and more often

bin....is lion......................................................

LMAO

basically Lion is this uh lion that Sanha found one day when they went on a mission, and Lion is all pink and stuff and followed him around and all the way back home too

the Crystal Gems were unsure about keeping him but sanha thought it was HELLA COOL to have a pet lion and they all eventually lost to His Baby Face

no one can ever say no to that face

anyway bin is called Lion bc sanha has no originality with names so there

anyway

bin is actually a gem

he specialises in shapeshifting? so when rose was still around he was in lion form a lot

hes a cATS EYE QUARTZ

BUT HIS GEM waS cracked in the middle of the gem war

and usually when a gem’s gem is cracked they start to get real weird until the crack gets bigger and bigger and eventually it shatters which means they die

but when rose was alive she healed him but could only do it like halfway? like it was a rushed job so he was stuck as a lion during that war

and then when that was over he was kinda left behind bc rose thought she’d lost everyone already

idk bro

so basically bin’s been stuck as a lion for TOO LONG until sanha found him

but sanha doesnt knoW hes a gem bc bin’s gem is hidden so far beneath is goddam thicc mane so no one ever knew

also my friends who may not know

Steven’s Lion is pink

this means binnie will have pink hair and skin imagine that

and he kinda kneels to sanha (even as lion)

I CANT EXPLAIN THIS U JUST GOTTA KNOW HE KNEELS AND BOWS HIS HEAD

#respect

but also maintains that whole im-older-than-you-respect-me-u-brat vibe

ANYWAY

bin the LION comes along on one of the Crystal Gems’ missions with sanha

aND HE GETS REALLY HURT

ALMOST DIES KINDA HURT

his gem cracks and his form starts to get real weird, changing between lion and other animals and shit

SANHA STARTS CRYING

“Lion????”

sanha cries A LOT, buries his face into bin’s mane and stuff and it soaks right frickin thru

his teaRS HEALED BIN’S GEM

BIN COMES BACK

AS HIS ACTUAL FORM

hes naked

everyone screams

[tumblunni]

Also, i had another odd dream!

I dreampt i was watching a lets play of some Tokimeki Memorial esque thing. And apparantly everyone hated the third one for the same reason i loved it- ADDITIINAL PLATONIC FRIENDS!

Like theyd replaced the whole system of statraising with friends. Instead of picking a part time job or a study session yoy got different stats depending on which Cool Bro you haang out with, and thus you were encouraged to make as many friends as possible.

And i just remember being like AAAAAAAAAAA THE CHOICES when i saw that the stats interface was like a Where's Wally of different Buds And Pals Of Joy. And like it was a pretty nice and endearing scene of them all at tge park or something, showing their personality clearly and also how theyd interact with each other and the many possible friend groups you could compose that would have bonus scenes together. Cos i think ir was something like you had to pick a maximum of four or five friends from this sea of fifty equally amazing students, and then your stat gain potential was locked in with no way to xhange it until a second playthrough. So reviewers hated the friend system cos.of this, when really the flaw was that it didnt makw it clear enough what girlfriends needed what stats so you could picj your friends well.

But man i was more interested in the friends!!! There were a bunch of very strange character archetypes, like there was a guy who looked like the shy blonde sweater man from Hustle Cat but his personality was like Laharl from disgaea crossed with anghel from hatoful boyfriend?? He was a cute over the top drama queen who loved b-movies and thus pretended to be the secret vampire lord of the school. HE WAS MY FAVOURITE WHY IS HE NOT REAL???

And like there were a few friends who could also become secret romance routes later? Mostly it was like 'every female friend inevitably is heterosexual and wants yer dick' but i think maybe vampire guy was like the one gay option? Him, cliche ego rivalman, and buff football star dude. And i think it was possible to get them all together as a friend group too; but it was really hard to manage cos they had such clashing personalities and then theyd end up in a love triangle over you.

But anyway i just recall that vampire cosplay cutie's plot was kinda like the pairing of the two main characters in Hot Fuzz. Grumpy serious protagonist learns to loosen up and admit to his Nerd Aspects, then they fall asleep cutely in each other's arms while.watching buddy cop comedoes from the 80s. And then the audience is like What The Fuck Why Isnt This Canon, Hot Fuzz? But this dating sim did actually have a kiss scene so all is well. Also i think the magical stuff actually did end up being real and you had to fight his seven monster brothers to prove youre worthy of boyfriending, and he was all like 'no, wtf, i thought i was making it up!' But it turns out theyre a family of werewolfs instead of draculas, so he mixed up some of the details lol

Also!! More great and good friends!!

You had like two slots of school friends and outside friends? And the outside friends group was the most interesying to me, cos you did have some friends who just went to other schools but you also had a lot of other ones! There was an interesting plot about some sort of senpai figure who just graduated from your school and now he was working at a minimum wage hotdog stand and was ashamed to let you see him like this. (Dream me was like WTF BRO I'M MAD AT OUR FUCKED UP ECONOMY, NOT YOU! YOU HAD LIKE FIFTY DEGREES!!!) And then also you had some friends who werent even school age at all, there were AT LEAST THREE (!!!) Grandmas!!! Your actual grandma, a retired favourite teacher, and a nice next door neighbour. Youd always see her taking her baby grandkids out for a walk in the park and there were VERY MANY cute scenes witj the bebs abd you could gain potentially a lot of random stats from how hard it is to babysit the lil terrors. So everyone loved Grandma Friend cos her route didnt lock you in to any particular romance route, the luck of the dice made her a great supporter for any role!

Also then my dream randomly changed to the lets player doing a nostalgia critic style cheesy parody skit of a bad 90s movie. Thats actually how i knew the first part of the dream was my sleepy interpretation of tokimeki memorial, he did a song and dance number about the 'bomb fuse' mechanic thay the series is infamous about. But he called them cappuchinos. But there was clearly an icon of a bomb...

Anyway all i remember from this movie is that it was a murder mystery and i think the final twist was that the protagonist was really the villain, so the parody song played him as if he was super obviously responsible and everyone else was just dumb as shit. walks in on him mopping up the blood and is just like 'oh, the janitor'. And then it zooms out to show the also dead janitor, who looks absolutely nothing like him. But he took the (incredibly bloodstained) nametag!

Also there was something similar to the incredibly terrible 'toast prophecy' from the real life movie Devil. except instead of toast people were throwing bath bombs that contained human teeth. And if they rearranged into different faces it meant sometging?? And protagonist got away with a 'well that frown could be an upside down smile from another point of view' excuse, and then walked out over a giant person shaped lump in the carpet.

Also i recall that the scene of the first movie was really bad and overly dramatic, like the lady just fell over and died instantly from the slightest bump to like.. the nose??? I woke up cos i was personally offended the joke they went with was 'mmm whatcha say' again, when this was a great opportunity for 'I THREW IT ON THE GROUND! I AINT A PART OF YOUR SYSTEM!'

...okay now i need to find the link to that again. And i will be even more sad if nobody has ever made a parody with terrible b movie murders.

[cantaffordtherapist42069]

breakdown message/running journal

first and foremost i cannot believe I wasted time getting my nails done to not even get to see them on a dick this is what I get for going with something cool again

part of me feels just absolutely stupid. like i have no idea what's going on or what anything means because i am just so used to being manipulated or lied to or choked out in bathrooms. i want to believe u are a genuinely nice person like you seem but part of me feels like you are just really good at hiding that you're just an emotionally dead fuckboy.

but like would i recognize those traits if i were not also an emotionally dead fuckboy probably not.

which is exactly why this week has been so awful.

had this been a week ago i was ready to have the "hey i havent felt any real human emotion in years but if you want me to i can try but like ur dick bomb so i can swing whatever" conversation. deadass i was at times like if he really a fuckboy i guess i can finally get a threesome out of it. (in the interest of funny things I would message u about but wont because i can't tell if you give a shit or not i was so far done caring for alias i suggested he message felecia for a threesome. completely seriously.)

however on wednesday, my anxiety was at an all time high for no reason. and it just kept getting worse all night. and all i wanted was to talk to you. i didnt care if all you did was bitch i just wanted like a ten minute phone call with you because i missed you and talking to you would have made me happy. then on my way home i had to pass a very freshly killed deer which, while interesting to my inner freak because it was like split in half and dragged, all i could think about was that your dumb ass text and snaps all the fucking time while you're driving and that technically speaking you could just hit a deer at like 70 and die and that's it you never get to talk to Dillon again and i lost it i had to pull over to cry. this was partly because i was so high but also mostly because it has been so long since i have cared about the person i was fucking and i am terrified to get genuinely attached to another person like that again. but whatever i thought I could just deal with that later.

then of course the next day was Summers wedding. and yes it was cute and im very happy for them and love is beautiful but like, first off it was weird because i am literally getting a divorce that i could not be happier to finally be getting, but also i am kind of jealous of their relationship, and then when u hit me this week with the "never once contemplated marriage", Dillon i had never been more attracted to you than at that moment. and again all i wanted was to talk to you but you were barely responding so i just volunteered to work all night to get my mind off everything even though it was one of my nights off and i already felt miserable. Then the more i thought about it all night, u bitching about being hungover, i realized that u didnt send me a single drunk text and like.. cant relate! i want to talk to you literally all the time but especially when im drunk and miss you and havent talked to you all day!

friday morning i had mail from the court that the judge on my divorce case put in a removal for dismissal. on my way to the courthouse guess who was behind me! alias! guess who had a panic attack because shes so fucking scared of this actual pussy! me! guess who has to get her paperwork in by the 20th or she has to pay 250 fucking more dollars to the state to file again! me! and of course multiple people have told me that they dont think alias and felecia are doing well and im fucking terrified. i thought theyd at least last a year and buy me some time to heal but nah fuck me. i love feeling absolutely terrified everywhere i go.

i think its probably important you get the whole story. it really explains why im a freak and also why i was temporarily drinking almost every night. but like its really something you sit down and discuss not casually send over a message so a very short version is i knew alias would be abusive within the first week, broke up, got back together when he got back from basic and went to mos school, i knew i was making a mistake because i was crazy about him but i knew he was a piece of shit, cheated on him to convince myself to leave him, never told him and stayed instead, found him sending and receiving nudes and sexting with girls from gone wild on reddit, shit was absolutely awful and we fought non stop for years, he gets out of the marines we move back and he finally admits to me that he thought he wanted kids which i had known he did for a while so wasnt a shock, I smoked half a pack of camels and i was over it. didnt love him at all. didnt leave because he begged me to stay because "he didnt he just needed to discuss wanting kids", then after i specifically warned him i was going to be emotionally distant, he started getting crazy. he was so miserable all the time and reflected it by acting angry around me intentionally. then it was the busting in to my room at random times to accuse me of not loving him and like i wasnt going to admit to the psycho that i was just with him because i couldn't leave kira with him and yes i was def lying about loving him, and then one night he just flipped and was screaming at my accusing me of cheating on him (not that i even had the time to with how closely he monitored where i was and how long for), and then he choked me. he had both hands around my neck and was pushing so hard he basically threw me into the bathroom wall. then after he realized what he was doing he smashed his head into the bathroom mirror and came into my room begging me to kill him. every night after that i was terrified to stay and terrified to leave and terrified to do anything at all. i really thought killing myself would be how id finally get out. then the night with the police happened and now im staying with my mom and stepdad because i literally do not feel safe anywhere else.

or at least i didn't until i was able to sleep all night with you. i did not think i would ever feel safe sleeping with a guy again and now i miss waking up next to you.

there is so much about you that freaks me out but literally not one red flag and that also freaks me out. i know im a mess. you have a nice normal stable life and im sure you dont want a messy trauma bitch all up in it. but fuck Dillon, if you dont want to see me why the fuck are we always talking

like i know i have done everything possible to get you to keep your distance and all i know how to do is self sabotage but like i can't anymore. i am not capable of acting chill again for another whole fucking month and then imagine you hooking up with way hotter girls and cry every fucking night because i caught feelings for the fuckboy. i miss you, literally, all the time. i check my phone every morning just to see if i have a message from you. i think about you every night. and yes the way you fuck me is literally the best sex ive ever had but i am beyond dick crazy about you. i love just being around you. i could listen to you talk for hours, just nonstop. i am already daydreaming about dates we could go on next summer. and i want to tell you all this but i feel so stupid for feeling anything at all for you when you make me feel like i just dont matter to you and im just an ego boost for you.