#if they shared one MORE harm would've occur

[ohgoditssnek]

A lot of harm could've been avoided if Valeska twins had a minecraft account

[midnight-pluto]

ROUND 2 : PG.07 — my nostalgia

ROUND 2: dazai osamu x gn!reader

SYNOPSIS: When you decided to attend Chuya's volleyball game, you didn't expect to see a familiar face. A face of someone you thought you would've never seen again; what's more annoying however, is seeing said face repeatedly.

round 2 master list || prev. || next

NOVEMBER 2 ; 18:12

IN ALL HONESTY, Dazai didn't think he'd make it to senior year. Never planned on it, never made plans for his future, never thought it'd be worth it to live so long in this world.

Maybe that's the actual reason he pushed everyone he once knew away, so it'd hurt less once he was gone. So they wouldn't mourn longer once his dead body made it onto the news, what would the news even say about him?

A bright young man with a future ahead of him, struggled with depression and resorted to self-harm as a way of coping, but ultimately succumbed to it and killed himself.

Yeah, sounds about right.

Anyone who actually knew him would say differently though. He wouldn't be described as a "gentle and kind peer" like most victims of suicide, it would sound more like.

"Always having a shit-eating grin on his face, would never accept any kind of help for his mental health. He was pretty smart though, I'll give him that."

"He was a weirdo, always carried around a 'Guide to Suicide 101' book or something. Guess he finally succeeded, he got what he wanted though at least."

The only people Dazai could think of who wouldn't say something like that was Chūya and you.

Come to think of it however, you both would most likely would most likely find a way to bring him back to kill him with your bare hands.

It was a funny thought because it would probably never happen, but you coming back into his life was something he thought would never happen again either.

And you managed to do it so effortlessly. With random tweets he sent out, you were there leaving a silly comment under it along with you being the first person to come to mind whenever something occurs.

Just like how it was years ago.

Thoughts were a continuous stream in Dazai's mind as he looked out upon the open waters of the dock as his back was leaning against the bench he was sitting on, whilst the wooden planks creaked under your footsteps.

'He looks like a freshly divorced depressed dad sitting like that.'

You had just stopped nearby to get a cup of hot chocolate as the weather began to get chillier when you saw the sight of a familiar head of brown sitting on the bench. Dazai's brown strands swaying with the wind as he gazed out at the sparkling water in the sun's light.

Stepping closer to him, he tilts his head up, as he's met with the sight of you.

"Dazai?" you ask, trying to confirm his conscience being present as he looked spaced out prior to your interruption.

He parts his lips to say something, but shuts them with a smile to say something else, "Call me Osamu."

"Huh?" you quirk up a brow, not expecting his words. You both were far from mending and recreating the bond you once shared, however you never expected for him to want you to drop the formalities so quickly.

Your lips quickly formed a smirk as your mind found a perfect way to tease him, "That was so cringe of you to say, Osamu."

He simply scoffed at your words, "You never like formalities, you're the cringe one."

"Nuh uh.”

"We're not doing this right now."

"Bruh." Tilting your head slightly caused a resounding 'pop' to illicit from your neck, "Anyways do you want some hot chocolate? I just got mine and I don't mind heading back in again.

Closing his eyes in pseudo-thought, the brunet smiled with a resounding, "Sure," escaping his lips.

STICKY NOTES

meant to post this yesterday but to caught up with other things 🫡

TAGLIST : @heeslovr @atlasnessie @cvidy @rattyrattyratty @chaos-inperson @almond-t0fu @rwura @fyodorisbbg @lalalaloveallmydays @milksh-ke @phoenix-eclipses @saeandscaralover @stuffeddeer @staymoarmyzen @hotwomanlythings @ashthemadwriter-uwu @strawberryuri [ if you want to be added, send me an ask or feel free to comment! ]

[blue-b-bro]

Izzy and the candles

(kinda about Izzy's arc)

So I’ve finally sat down and looked closely into the candle scenes and after analyzing them, I’ve came to the conclusion, that they’re about the state of Izzy’s feeling towards Ed, how he deals with them. (if you have other ideas please share)

Let’s look at the scenes, shall we? (it's Izzy's POV, not what I think about his actions)

S1e3:

- He's not interested in meeting. - What? - 🕯️I explicitly told him… Blackbeard desired his company.

- But does he know who I am?

- Seemed to, yeah.🕯️ - And still, he said no. - You can "go suck eggs in hell" was his response, I believe. - Fascinating.

Why at that moment? Well, I think he didn’t lie, or at least he didn’t think he did. So he’s not punishing himself or anything. It’s about the whole conflict in s1: Izzy desires Ed’s company, wants Ed to desire his company. Izzy thinks, he knows Ed, but it turns out, he doesn’t know him so well.

He’s burning his hand by getting too close, just like his possessiveness ultimately only hurts him and Ed in the process. His feelings are so intense it’s actually destructive.

S1e7:

“🕯️Bonnet comes along, and he's like, "Oh, Oh, Blackbeard, I really love... I love the way you dress. I love the way your hair, your beard, and all that." I tell ya, I would've ripped his fuckin' head off. And I would have had him, too, I would have had him…🕯️”

And what is he doing just after that? Making a deal with the English. Proving that his selfish desire only makes it worse for both of them: Ed leaves him, Izzy made him work for the king.

S2e5:

Now, we need context. After Ed’s visit in s2e2 Izzy realized, that his selfish actions harmed not only him, but actually Ed too. That he was actively helping Ed kill himself, that Ed expected him, to just go with the plan, because he was his boss. That he was a bad first mate, because he almost killed his captain instead of protecting him, and that his way of love was bad, because it made Ed so miserable. So he metaphorically killed his old self (by trying to actually do it), stopped Ed, freed from his orders, and saved the crew.

He kept it mostly together until the crew was saved by Stede and then, there was nothing for him to do, no use for him. He may have did that big gesture to become his new self, but that didn’t erase his regrets. He felt responsible for Ed’s state, felt it was his fault for not doing his job, for making Ed hate him, for being useless, everything mixed in one miserable mess. He expected the crew to just let him die from overdrinking, because why would they care? They’re safe now, they have Stede. When the crew made him the new leg, he decided to give himself a second chance, stops drinking and tries to find a way to be of use (see? He didn’t get over it at all)

In e5, right after Ed’s apology (“And whatever that nasty, dark stuff was that brought us here, it's in the past. Which is all I want to say, at the end of the day, is we're trying to move the culture forward.”) he starts whittling the shark. The whole episode is about moving on, but Izzy doesn’t do that. He just buries his feelings deeper.

“Well, this is a pirate ship and I'm a pirate, so, yeah. I'm good with it.” He tells himself that that’s how it is, just like Archie said: “They get away with it and we move on”. Izzy doesn’t expect any apology, doesn’t think he deserves any, but he’s still hurt, he’s still unmoored, without any clear direction in life.

- So this is where all my candles went. And you've used the good ones. - Yep. I'm having to relearn the basics with one leg. [🕯️] - The basics? I think my basics might be a bit more basic than your basics. Actually, it recently occurred to me that... - That you know nothing? That you're a shitty Captain, yeah? - I don't know about that. But Blackbeard did say he credited you with a lot of his skills. - Yeah, well, Blackbeard says a lot of things. But what did he say about me specifically? - Well, specifically, he said you taught him everything he knows. Made him the Captain he is today. Perhaps I could learn at the feet of one of the greats. - Foot. - Oh, yes, foot. Sorry. - Ya know, maybe I could teach even you a thing or two.

“I'm having to relearn the basics with one leg.” He’s basically saying he’s starting anew. He decided to forget the past, to kill his feelings for Ed, all that hurt and sorrow and guilt, just move on.

“Don't know what you're talkin' about. A shark did this. Dangling my legs over the side of the ship. Served me right, too.” It was all his own fault, so he doesn’t need any apology. It was to be expected, so there’s no need to feel hurt or betrayed.

S2e8:

Izzy was telling himself it was his fault he got treated like that by Ed, it was just how pirate’s life worked, everything's fine, but at the same time Stede was happy, grateful and nice to him all episode, showing him, that no, it doesn’t have to work like that, it didn’t have to work like that. His relationship with Ed didn’t have to look like it looked, he could have had better relationship with Ed, if only he let him.

In e6 he’s drinking again.

they both know it’s not about the weather. it’s about Ed’s feelings, Ed feeling it was all too nice and something has to go bad eventually. And Izzy’s on his new track, trying to keep Ed in this better place, the one he so desperately tried to get him out of in s1. He now knows his relationship with Ed and Ed’s life was so miserable because of him, and he tries to fix it, to help Ed get rid of bad habits.

Izzy probably didn’t know how to respond, having mixed feelings about it since he was all about how it was his own fault and Ed apologizing actually contradicts it, forcing Izzy to acknowledge his suffering that he so strongly tried to repress.

“Turn the poison into positivity” it’s kinda like a response to s1e5 where Izzy was opposed/shocked by open culture on the Revenge and now, knowing his old ways were wrong he actually stops, asks what’s that about and tries himself. Izzy sings about looking at the world through rose-tinted glasses, and I think it’s about him wishing Ed and Stede well.

Izzy decided to focus on helping Ed and Stede in their relationship. He realized he was the reason for Ed’s unhappiness, it was him, who made him worse by trying to keep him to himself, and so his own feelings don't matter. His feelings for Ed don't matter, his love doesn't matter, and that’s why he’s all helpful, but at the same time looks tired. After Ed leaves Stede, Izzy finds him at the bar, (always with Stede when Ed isn’t around). He tells him he thinks they’re good for each other, comforts Stede, is ok with talking about their feelings for Ed. He tries to protect Stede from his auto destructive behavior post breakup (not just going along, like with Ed).

Now we’re at e8 finally:

- 🕯️Can't believe I have an audience with the great Israel Hands. That's absolutely astounding. I've always thought you were underrated. I mean, it's absurd, isn't it? Isn't it? That Blackbeard, he gets all this praise, when you are quite clearly the brains of this operation?🕯️ (playing with fire in a safe way, calm) - Ya don't know the first thing about piracy, do ya? - Don't I? - It's not about glory. It's not about gettin' what you want. It's about belonging to something when the world has told you you're nothin'. It's about finding the family to kill for when yours are long dead. It's about letting go of ego for something larger. The crew.

“when you are quite clearly the brains of this operation” Izzy feels responsible for all the bad things that happened to Ed, for his unhappiness. He wanted to follow and serve Blackbeard, not to replace him. He and Ed created Blackbeard, why would he want to have something that was already his? When Blackbeard got all the praise, Izzy was proud. The only praises he needed was those from Ed. (I don't mean he didn't care about being respected by others but appreciated)

“It's not about glory. It's not about gettin' what you want. It's about belonging to something when the world has told you you're nothin'. It's about finding the family to kill for when yours are long dead. It's about letting go of ego for something larger. The crew.”

It’s about Izzy abandoning his selfish desire to be with Ed, to have Ed’s full attention, to have his love, and focusing about caring for others, for his family (Ed and the crew), about their happiness.

And you know what? I think it could’ve been Izzy’s idea to go with Ricky, to be on the front line. That’s very like him and I don’t see other reason for it. The crew is protective of Izzy, it wouldn’t be their idea.

- Ed, I'm sorry. I've been terrible to you. - No, I'm sorry. - No. - What are you apologizing for? I should be the one who's apologizing. - I fed your darkness… Blackbeard. For years, I egged him on, even though I knew you'd outgrown him, but the truth is… I needed him. Blackbeard... it was us. You, me.

I’m happy he said that, I’m happy they finally talked. I’m happy Izzy finally said out laud how unwell he is inside.

bonus:

(⚠️ here comes finale criticism, you’ve been warned ⚠️)

But him dying there was as if Ed died in e5! Oh, he realized his mistakes and started to fix them, but still is very messed up inside. That’s Ed in e5-6. And somehow he got to live after apologizing to Fang, hmm? Yeah, it was very in character for Izzy to get himself killed for Ed, to apologize for his great crimes of *checks hand* misunderstanding, being confused and selfish and being in love with Ed. Understandable. Ed can realize he’s actually worthy of love and forgiveness, but Izzy isn’t? Izzy would agree, but that’s not the point. He wasn’t on the arc towards healing. He was on the arc of realizing how bad of an influence he was and then dying . He was marinating that thought since s2e2. How fun.

Like, yeah, he realized he was selfish and fixed his wrongdoings. But he also thought he was worthless and, ekhem, defiled his captain with his love, wait where did I hear that...

[satohqbanana]

Satoh's Personal Comment-a-thon Part 3

About this new series/project: Since not a lot of people comment on my works, I’ll do it myself. :3 I aim to help myself get better by getting more conscious of how I write. One of the ways that I feel like I can accomplish this is to reread my works and post comments here. This not only helps me improve my craft but also promote my works.

Title: The Stink

Summary: Divorced from a Veldtonian?! How???

Warnings: Talks about body odor and an implied gross-out situation

Comments: It's time for ANOTHER review so here we go.

Off the bat, the author's note makes me smile. This is essentially a story about side characters. And I managed to still make it very interesting.

I find it amusing that Derez remembers Rhen and Lars coming by themselves into his shop some time ago to get some cool gear, and they are also polite enough to introduce their companions to him.

Right away, Derez finds a way to mention his little story. I have a stinking (ha) suspicion that he noticed Elini first, realized that it is a prime time to tell his stinky story and further "befriend" his patrons, and found a way to segue into that conversation. He's such a sly one!

I see a lot of online spaces where people who identify as women mention how much they hate men and all these aspects about them, but somehow I never see anybody mention body odor, which in real life I know is a huge turn-off. I guess not a lot of people discuss this in fiction, and even if they do, they have to also mix in stuff about bullying, gross-out, sexuality, and so on. I appreciate myself being able to talk about it in a way that would be more tasteful and light-hearted without leaning too hard on comedy.

Even the way I had Derez discuss the whole ordeal, including what seems to be Ilya's harmful behaviors, is I think quite tasteful. I love his voice, and I love the choices he made when telling his story. He doesn't go into unnecessary detail. He's not upset enough at her or their former relationship to trash her name, but he's clearly delighted by all of what had happened so far and he wants to share that, well, it is possible to annoy someone to the point of getting what you want.

And, of course, I adore having the guys of the party become very self-conscious of how they smell like after Derez' little speech. Smell is not something that is easy to hide, after all.

Finally, the reveal occurs through Lars, who had the opportunity to talk to Ilya. Like the last line says, that explains some things.

Overall, while I don't think a lot of people would've liked this, I like it. It's got that touch of realistic life situations TM in a light-hearted scenario. Solid 10/10 for me!

[maplecornia]

chapter 24

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.94K

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | bts x female!reader | ot7

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

����/𝔫: things are getting heavyyy

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2024 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language

tags: @kookaine | @fangirl125reader | @kookiebbyxx | @taradevonne | @rae-bear |@mangminnie | @pixiekooo

If you're still enough, you can hear the inner whispers of your heart.

Have you noticed?

You're able to hear everything you have kept locked away. It tries to break through the cage, and you can feel the chains growing weaker and weaker with each passing moment. Each tick of the clock drawing closer and closer to the moment where you can no longer hold it in.

Where you finally break down.

Taehyung sighs and leans back in his chair, the meeting room now empty and dark. It's hard to believe that at the break of day it was filled with conflict and torn decisions.

-

"I'm against it."

At the sound of Yoongi's sharp dismissal, it's as though the room wakes up. Some in protest, some in shock. Suga raises his brow at the reaction, almost scoffing when he sees it.

"It's too much of a risk." He sighs almost in contempt. "If you want her so badly, why not sign her with Source or Pledis? They're our shareholders for a reason. Plus, since we're all under HYBE it will be exactly like she were a BigHit affiliation. Given the way this industry runs, however, she's probably best out of Kpop and should be signed under HYBE America. After all, she is a foreigner."

Though they are harsh, his words make sense. This would be the most logical approach rather than breaking their ban on female trainees. They made the ban for a reason, Yoongi doesn't understand why they would throw that away for someone who is slightly talented.

Besides, what about every other talented girl before her?

What reason should she have to achieve the dream which they were denied?

"I have to agree with Yoongi," Jin speaks up, his brow furrowed in concentration. "She has a unique and beautiful voice, that much is true. It'd be a shame to let it go, but if you think about it, we wouldn't be letting it go. Giving it to another company under HYBE might provide a better chance for her in the industry."

Taehyung bites his lip, not liking where this is going.

Jin glances around the table, hesitating before he says his next piece.

"We just got back, can we trust that they'll accept us if we do this? Next thing you know there'll be rumors of a scandal."

Though it was all on their minds, it still hurts to hear it out loud.

Can they trust ARMY to be there for them this time?

"It is a bit concerning. She'll be the only female trainee in an all-male company. Can you imagine the rumors? The field day Dispatch would have? She'd be hated before she even had a chance to show them her worth." Jhope murmurs under his breath, his eyes sparkling with deep worry.

They've all faced that. The fear of being hated for just being you. For existing without the mask.

"But I liked her," Jimin says, leaning forward. Though his words are simple, they are said with the most sincerity. "She's someone you hardly ever see, her voice stays with you, it doesn't leave. It's the kind that people can't get enough of. That's something special...shouldn't we take that into account?"

Biting his inner cheek, Taehyung glances up at BangPD, wondering if he knows. Did Jungkook tell him? He knew about Yen, why wouldn't he have found out about him as well?

If only he hadn't saved that recording. If only he hadn't been so careless, then none of this would have happened.

Somehow he feels as though those moments are being stolen from him.

"Jimin has a point, Yoongi. Did you hear her?" Jin speaks up, his gaze glazing over as though he were looking into the distance. Or recalling a long forgotten memory. Yoongi scoffs and smirks bitterly.

"Of course I did, I have ears."

"Are you sure?" Jin mutters in response, but it's almost as though Yoongi can't hear him.

"Think of this realistically, you have to know there's zero to no chance of her making it. Even if she's talented." There's a moment of uncomfortable silence at his words, words which no one wanted themselves to say. Sighing, Suga gestures towards Namjoon.

"Come on, Joon back me up here."

The room turns to Namjoon, waiting to hear his response.

He stays silent for a moment, his hand resting on his chin as he ponders the situation, his deep eyes calculating moves and countermoves. Possible situation and solutions.

All while trying to forget that the possible trainee is Yen.

Biting his bottom lip, he can't help but remember the way she was in the studio. How her eyes lit up with unimaginable love and devotion. A look only a fellow artist would be able to recognize. She was made for this, he can tell. She yearns to sing, to be lost in music, enveloped in a world of her own making. To be able to share that with others.

Looking over at BangPD, he narrows his eyes thoughtfully.

"What are you planning to do?"

Yoongi's eyes widen at Namjoon’s question, and he leans back, looking to BangPD's response. Bang Sihyuk smiles softly, almost as though he expected this.

For some reason, that look irks Taehyung.

Don’t think you can control us. We weren’t made for your chessboard.

"It will be on a purely trial basis. I am planning to sign her as a trainee, but the public will not know about it until I am sure that she will be a good addition." He looks towards Suga, pointedly directing his next statement towards him. "I understand your concerns for her. After all, she would be our first female trainee for a while."

Suga bites his inner cheek in protest, leaning back in his chair and brooding.

"However, I have been planning this for a while now." The room goes silent with the revelation as they turn to him, waiting for him to reveal more. "Ever since you've left for the military, I've been thinking of possible trainees to recruit for a new girl group. The first girl group to be officially under BigHit entertainment. They would be managed, produced, and signed underneath our label. Not through a loophole like BE:LIFT, Source Music, or Pledis. This would be ours and ours alone."

Jimin shakes his head in confusion. "Why now? What changed?"

BangPD sighs, his careful eyes scanning the room in a calm and collected manner.

"I don't know entirely myself." He rubs his face before continuing, playing with the portfolio of Yen. "I thought it was time to expand our horizons, to try something new...I guess you could say I was inspired."

He glances towards Namjoon, and Joon can't help but remember that day all those years ago.

The day when BangPD proposed a plan, an inspiration to him, not quite unlike this one.

Namjoon’s brow furrowed in concentration, he turns to your smiling photo, still spread across the table.

Was it you?

Were you the reason for this inspiration?

"In any case, before I moved any further, I wanted to see if things would work out with her. One trainee. I didn't want to make a mistake like last time, hence the trial period." Bang Sihyuk continues, swaying a bit in his chair.

"Who would train her?" Taehyung mutters underneath his breath, unable to look away from your photo this whole time. Turning to BangPD, his eyes are aflame with conviction. "If we have our normal staff take part in her training, we won't be able to control who else could find out. If her existence were to be completely secret, who could we trust?"

It's a valid question, but Taehyung doesn't like the glint Sihyuk gets in his eyes at the notion. Silently, he wishes he never spoke up. Maybe then he would've been able to stay under the radar, and BangPD would never have to suspect he had any affiliation with the girl.

With Yen.

"You would."

Two words is all it takes.

Two words and the room is in an uproar.

"What are you talking about?! We have enough on our plate with our comeback, and now you expect us to train a girl who shouldn't even be here in the first place?!" Yoongi is so outraged that he stands, his chair rolling back into the wall.

"Yoongi, calm down--" RM begins, but Suga isn't willing to listen to anyone at the moment.

"Do you have any idea how much pressure we're under? And now you want to add an inexperienced trainee to our list of burdens just because she can sing?!" he snarls, his lip curling in disgust, his eyes dark with anger.

"Yoongi-hyung, you heard her voice. You have to admit that we found something here." Jungkook speaks up, meekly. Taehyung narrows his eyes his way.

Just what does Jungkook get out of all this? Taehyung knows he has to be the one who gave BangPD the file of your voice. He was the only other one there, besides Taehyung. Taehyung himself couldn’t bring himself to give you the flash drive, but Jungkook didn’t even think to tell you. He went straight to BangPD as though this were his decision to make. Did he even think of asking you what you thought?

What’s your angle?

Yoongi rolls his eyes, gesturing to the portfolio on the table.

"Yeah, we found something. But not something worth risking everything we built over!"

"Don't you think you're being a dramatic? We aren't even sure if this will work out. It's just a trial, and it's the best option for us to train them given the situation." Namjoon murmurs, rationally. Suga's eyes flame with defiance at the rebuttal and slams his hand on the table.

"And what happens if word gets out before we're ready?"

The room goes silent with the ultimatum, and they all avoid his gaze.

"What happens when we're the cause of her downfall?"

Glancing at each other, they ponder the question. A question that has weighed heavily on them ever since they debuted, ever since they became the star in the public's eye. Ever since the world knew about the boy group...

BTS.

Scowling, Yoongi pulls away.

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't have time for this. I have work to do, work that has been waiting for us for 2 years! Or did you all forget our promise?" When they don't answer him, he scoffs, pulling his backpack on his shoulder and walking out the door. "I'll see you at practice."

There's a moment of silence as soon as Yoongi leaves, silence uncomfortable and pressing. Licking his lips in nervous anticipation, Hoseok looks at the rest of them, almost unsure.

"Is he going to be okay?"

BangPD leans forward, folding his hands on the table.

"Don't worry about Yoongi, I'll talk to him later. But what about the rest of you?"

His quick, analytical eyes scan the table, hovering over every one of them. Almost as if he were trying to predict what exactly they would say next.

"Do you agree?"

-

Now, Taehyung grits his teeth. His grip tightening around the water bottle he was playing with in his hands, he throws it across the wall. As he watches it crumble at the force, he finds the ruin in his mind easing. Water drips off of the wall, and he feels a sort of sadistic satisfaction at the sight of destruction.

Now he’s not the only one broken.

But once that fades, he's left once more with his memories and his regret.

"Dammit." He groans, dropping his face in his hands hopelessly.

-

Standing, Tae grabs Jungkook by the hand before he can follow the rest of them out. The door shuts behind them, leaving only him and Jungkook in the meeting room, an uneasy silence hanging over them. With words they need to say, questions waiting to be answered.

"Taeh--" Jungkook begins, but in his rush, Tae interrupts him.

"Were you there?"

The silence that blossoms between them grows to a deafening roar as Jungkook gently pulls away from Taehyung's firm hold. It creates a bitter but necessary distance between the two of them. It lets them know that they're different, that what happened back then was something that belonged to one as much as it did the other.

"You heard her too, didn't you?" Jungkook murmurs, his words turning Taehyung's blood cold. Smiling softly, Jungkook runs his hands through his hair. "I saw you as you were leaving, you were the one who recorded her, aren't you?"

Biting his bottom lip, Tae can't answer. Even though he knows that moment wasn't his, even though he knows that his ideas of fate and chance have been destroyed, he's unable to admit to it. He can't find it in him to voice the fact that he was there, that he gave birth to her chance, and he wanted it to be his and his alone.

Jungkook chuckles nervously at the silence before speaking once more.

"I wonder...why didn't you have the same idea as me?"

-

His hands tangled up in the locks of his hair, Taehyung stares at the slick wooden table, his heart in knots and his mind jumbled.

"Why didn't I?" he mutters to himself, a soft whisper that lingers empty on the air. "Why couldn't I say anything?"

Pulling away from the table, where Yen's future was decided this morning, he swallows hard. By the end of the day, he found himself lingering around this room, the studio, anyplace that reminded him of her.

Laughing bitterly, he rubs his forehead.

"Why..." He whispers, holding his phone tightly to his chest.

"Why can't I forget you?"

Biting his bottom lip, he quickly messages you, having the sudden urge to see you. Maybe then, would he realize what he can't find? Would he be able to create another memory, another moment in time? One that was yours and yours alone?

After a couple of moments, you don't answer.

Maybe...I was just afraid of letting go.

Standing almost decisively, he rushes out of the room, and down the hallways of the building.

I need to know.

As he rides the same elevator you rode yesterday down to the lobby, he holds his phone tighter in his hand.

If I don't find out now, I may never get another chance.

Desperate, he sends another message to you.

One more time.

Catching his face in the metallic walls of the elevator, he can't help but imagine yours smiling up at him. A face that makes everything seem alright again.

That's all I need.

What happens when that is taken away from him? What happens when he can no longer see the person who gives him courage? Biting his lip, he can feel the pain in his chest grow.

Just let me see you one more time.

He doesn't want to let you go.

As the elevator dings and he steps out, he pauses, seeing Namjoon right in front of him. Namjoon glances up, his eyes glazed over and tired, but when he sees Tae, they widen in recognition. Taehyung smiles inwardly to himself, he knows this look. A look lost in the wilderness of creativity and desolation.

"Oh, Taehyung!" he says, and Taehyung nods to him curtly before brushing past him and continuing to the front door. Namjoon, however, catches him by the wrist and Tae pauses, turning around.

"Namjoon?" His face is blank, but something in his eyes tells Tae to be wary. They are sort of dark, not really there, but urgent and anxious. Taehyung wonders how eyes can hold so many words, and yet tell you nothing at all.

"You knew, didn't you?"

At his words, Tae blinks, his heart pounding.

"I..."

"That's why you followed her, how you knew about her injury."

How does he know?

"When were you going to tell me?"

Biting his bottom lip, Taehyung can't help but feel a bit of aggravation towards his older friend. Why can't he keep anything to himself? Why is it a crime for him to live his own life, without everyone looking in? Yanking his arm out of Namjoon's grip, he scowls, turning on his heel.

"When it became your business."

Namjoon stands there, a bit in shock before rushing forward and taking Tae forcibly by the arm once more.

"Taehyung, wait!" At his touch, Tae tries to pull away, but Namjoon won't budge, his eyes desperate and wild. They unnerve Taehyung, make him want to escape, hide away until everything turns back to normal again. "If she's going to become an idol, any affiliation you have with her will only hurt her."

Tae's eyes widen at his words, snapping a hidden string he didn't know he had inside of him. RM doesn't notice, instead, his grip tightens around Tae until he feels as though he's suffocating from the inside out.

"You know that right?"

Gritting his teeth, Tae pulls away from Namjoon, staggering back until he's a good distance away. Raising his eyes to his hyung, Namjoon finds a look he's never seen in his younger friend before.

Loathing.

"Don't act as though you know everything." He spits before turning away and walking out of the door.

Namjoon sighs as he watches him leave before glancing over at the now empty lobby. The lobby where just a day ago, he met a sweet, cheerful girl. Someone who filled his mind with inspiration and wonder.

Smiling sadly, he rubs the back of his neck, looking up at the sky as though that will offer him the answers he seeks.

"Just who are you, Yen?"

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: this one was actually pretty hard to write, i'm ngl ;-;

chapter 25 here

check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters

check my BTS masterlist for other BTS content

check out my masterlist for other kpop fanfics

[bondsmagii]

WG kink anon here again. Since my original asks disappeared i thought i'd resend them. basically i've fully embraced your love of drama and have welcomed the eye into my life... i love how unabashedly you love learning about horrible things and so i'm manifesting that into my own life. one of the ways this has manifested (outside of watching the entire chris chan documentary in a week or two) has been through me browsing the kiwi farms forums. i started with stuff about chris chan, but have started exploring other creators as well. one of the creators i've been reading a lot of posts about is nikocado. off all the ~lolcows~ i saw, he was the only one i recognized. the forum is...bad. people are mean, no surprise there. While reading through the main nikocado forum, i saw a comment that stood out to me. basically it was someone saying like "i'm lgbt too but this faggot gives us a bad name" they had a furry icon and for some reason the way they typed/their icon just made me think...this is a young person. i was curious, so i went to their page to see their other comments. it was. a lot. they had dozens of pages of comments on a TON of different lolcows. there was so much variety in their comments and where they were posting and it just made me so sad..... seeing someone so invested in this community, so invested in hate, was hard. and i felt for them! i feel like i could've been them with the right (wrong) influences. i can't imagine what i would've been like if i would've found kiwi farms as a teenager instead of tumblr. it's weird to see. it just made me so sad. i hope they get out of this eventually. Kiwi farms in general is just so odd..... but i love reading it

god, I get what you mean. I've been thinking something similar recently, now I'm up into the 40s of the Chris Chan documentary. it mentioned something about her 32nd birthday and how some videos of her were leaked by a troll on that day and it occurred to me quite suddenly -- and I knew this before, but it hit me with real clarity -- that this has now been going on for years and years, and it's going to go on for years and years more, and these trolls... to put it bluntly, they have just as little of a life as they accuse Chris of having.

there are so many people out there who dedicated so much time to trolling Chris, and harassing her, and it just hit me that they were so invested for so long in something that only caused harm and misery. they watched Chris just disintegrating on camera, her life going to hell, her passions drying up or being used against her, and it was fun for them. they didn't see any hypocrisy in criticising Chris for spending all her time online, but they were doing the same thing. and in the beginning, Chris was online to share things she was passionate about. she had a comic going on, she had OCs she loved and fandoms she was involved in and created for. she was there because of hobbies and interests, and these trolls jumped on her because all they were ever online for was an opportunity to amuse themselves with the pain of others. regardless of how Chris turned out (and these later videos do expose her as having serious issues that are under her control and that she does refuse to do anything about; she is no longer a very nice person at all) it began with Chris as an autistic young adult sharing creations she was passionate about, and a bunch of losers with nothing better to do tormenting her because of it. how these trolls can think that they're not equally as cringe is beyond me.

I feel the same way when I see hate accounts on here, too. there are people on here who run discourse blogs, or hate blogs for ships or characters, or who otherwise seem to only interact with the whole internet in an aggressive, malicious, uncharitable way. I literally cannot fathom what it must be like to spend day after day immersing yourself in things and topics that only bring you rage and make you hate people. like. I just do not get how people can just wallow like that. it seems like a cliché, but like... this is what you're doing with your life? your very limited time on this earth, and you want to sign on to a silly little absolutely inconsequential website and spew hate at someone for liking a character you seem to think committed irl atrocities irl, in real life, irl? you want to spend any amount of your time engaged in real, honest to god hatred? not complaining, not bitching, not any of those normal and fun things you do with friends -- but actual, honest to god hate? you want to spend your time causing strangers pain? I literally do not get it. I just do not fucking get it.

a lot of these people are young, and I get that. I get angst, I get feeling lost and confused and scared, I get lashing out. but here's the thing: I've never been a great person, and I've made mistakes like anyone, and some of it's been because of me and some of it has been because of my circumstances. I grew up in an abusive home, I had a really shitty upbringing, I was made homeless three times, I've really been the fuck through it, I've hated life and I've hated the whole world and everything in it, and at the same time as I felt this way, I ran with trolls at the exact time period this Chris stuff was kicking off. at the same time as I felt this way, I've been on this website. and not once -- not once -- have I ever trolled anyone even remotely like how Chris has been trolled. not once have I ever felt the urge to run a hate blog. not once have I ever felt the desire to immerse myself in nothing but negativity and hatred and tormenting others. the trolls I ran with did silly little pranks that, while genuinely infuriating at the time, were inconsequential in the long run. and I feel that I can say this with all the experience that allows me authority in the subject, both as someone who is Fucked Up and someone who was present during the troll heyday, I suppose: no amount of pain makes it acceptable for you to harm others. that's it. no arguments. and I just do not get why people dedicate themselves to this shit. I really don't.

[talesofourworlds]

“ hey, hey now! it’s okay! i’m alright… ” ( for Jay! Maybe Nerifes Cannon or Solon related stuff? ; _ ; )

send in “ hey, hey now! it’s okay! i’m alright… ” for the receiver to embrace the sender out of sheer relief, after initially believing that they’d died in a dangerous incident that has just happened.

He could have killed you! He could have killed you, and it would've been because of me...!

Jay clung to Stella that little bit more tightly as he fought against those spiraling thoughts. Everything had happened a lot faster than Jay ever could have imagined it would. He'd told Stella about what Solon had tried to make him agree to, and as a result Shirley was able to be that much more protected. Solon hadn't been able to get a chance to get at her. However... while Jay had known there likely would be some kind of response from Solon, he hadn't known that he would actually try to track him down.

The incident had occurred when he, Pippo, Poppo, Quppo, and Stella had been making sure the tunnels of the old Oresoren Village were truly free of ninjas. He had told Stella that she didn't need to come, but she'd insisted she wanted to make sure he was okay. That much, he reflected, was completely understandable. She was pretty much family by that point, given how much they shared with one another and how close he'd let her get to knowing his past. He had thought things would be fine. It was just a simple mission to try and get rid of any trace of ninjas related to Solon.

He never had dreamed that Solon himself would appear.

Remembering how angry Solon had been, how fully intent he had been on harming him by hurting the Oresoren, sent a fresh wave of emotion through Jay. He trembled, trying to fight the tears as he recalled what had happened. First, Jay had tried to protect Pippo, Poppo, and Quppo himself. That had backfired, and he'd wound up injured again. Solon hadn't stopped there. The bruises he could feel and the blood still trickling down from where he'd been sliced was evidence enough to that much. And then...

Stella and the Oresoren had all stepped in. Injuries were sustained, clearly, and Jay remembered hearing a particular cry of pain from Stella. When he'd forced himself to get up, he saw her laying on the ground in front of him. She'd been so frightfully still.

The rest was a blur. The others had come, and he’d finally been able to make himself fight to finish this chapter of his life once and for all. Stella, as far as he'd been able to tell, had died because of him. The anger he felt over that much and determination he felt to put an end to his own suffering had helped him through it all. 

Only after Solon finally was dead did he notice it. Stella had moved. By some miracle, the wound she'd received hadn't been as severe as he'd first thought. Had she faked her death to protect him?

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Stella!" Jay cried. "It's my fault. You wouldn't have been hurt if he hadn't been trying to hurt me..."

What about the Oresoren? He looked, and he saw them standing just to the side. Their injuries didn't look that severe, but their poor little fluffy bodies still had some wear and tear. That also was his fault. The tears slipped free as the thought kept coming to him.

"You could have died because of me," he said. "I'm sorry..."