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yusa-lisaxyuta · 1 month

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JORDAN LI HOURS OMH

ok guys im sorry i just have some thots i must share about my lord and savior Jordan Li bc oh my GOD

the different genres of Jordan too mmnmsmsnsnhshshsmd

LIKE LIKE LIKE

we have your average roommate!Jordan thats an absolute dick to u bc they want u so bad bro

always pissing u off on purpose with stupidly loud moans, PRAYING it pisses you off enough times after youve had to find refuge in marie or andre's dorms bc wtf

the way theyre so desperate it doesnt make sense anymore i swear

they literally have not even the slightest clue on how to show how much they fucking adore you so they decide to be a dick about it every chance they get because theyre more emotionally fucking constipated than katsuki bakugou himself BUT JORDAN CANT HELP IT!!!! THEY WANT U!!!! JUST U!! ONLY U!!! And they're tight asf when they cant have u!!!! LIKE WHY CANT THEY HAVE U!!!

soon they corner u and confess everything to u while just blindly raging bc they're sick and tired of this shit n at first ur js like "um what" bc you didnt realize at all and thought they hated u

and they say it so condescendingly too??? on some "Stupid fucking freshie, your fuckin' scent is all over my shit. Shit drives me wild, you know what you fuckin do to me? I dont think so. Of fucking course you dont." LIKE AAA???? But in REALITY they're praising EVERYYYYY little thinggggggg. DOWN TO UR SHITTY HANDWRITING WHEN YOU JOT THINGS DOWN?! Fucking perfect to them. But it gets them so mad, they're used to getting what they want. And they dont know how to handle it when they cant-

OH BUT WHEN JORDAN GETS U FINALLY???? OH ITS OVER FOR U POOR THING

you genuinely arent prepared for the type of down bad desperate needy sex you two have your first time together oh my GOD you dont understand

"Mine- fuckin' waited way too long, and fought too hard for this pretty pussy- pussy's mine, heart's mine- shit- can feel the heart in the pussy, mama- fuck-!"

oh no but then we have Mafia!Jordan???? UM HELLO???

(cw/tw: guns used during sex [im sorry something in my head goes wonky with jordan and guns in the same vicinity])

GETTING BENT OVER AND RAILED WITH JORDAN PUTTING A GUN TO UR HEAD???!??! AUUUURRRRR?@?!?!?

no because the dirty talk would be on POINT oh em gee think about it

"Cmon princess- don't fuckin' run. I'll make you regret it- cmon, baby. Take this fuckin' dick- fuckin love this princess cunt."

HELLOOOOOO???? sorry brb i DIED FROM OVULATION

bros makes my ovaries do backflips i swear

AND THE WAY THAT THEY SPOIL YOU?!!?!?! Now see EVERY JORDAN finna apoil tf outta you BUT MAFIA JORDAN OH GOOD GAY GOLLY GUYS. OHHHH GOLLY. The way they're such a fuckin jerk and so cold to everyone else but they make sure you ALWAYS feel like their precious little princess AUUUUGGGHHHH

"I swear, ask me for the price of that shit one more time- just fuckin' get it. Ok? Last fuckin' time i say it. Now let's go, you said you wanted to stop at Prada, right?"

this person would watch you take hours to pick out cute outfits, blow a couple racks on that shit, and watch you skip to the next store happily knowing DAMN well they have every intention to ruin that outfit.....also with the intention of buying you a better one, of course.

BACK TO THE GUNS IM SORRY BUT HEAR ME OUT- someone getting too close to u for their liking and touching you with the cold metal as punishment <3333 i mean they know you only have eyes for them but where's the fun in that, yk?

"Im guessing you like this, huh? Like when others give you attention so i can get like this, baby? If you wanted this you just had to ask... but, 'm mad now.. 'n you're gonna take everything i give you."

gahshshgshagdhsg sorry guys the demons took over im still waiting for s2 of genv 🙏 pls i need more jordan 🙏 🙏 🙏

#lix writes ! ☄. *. ⋆#lix speaks ! ☄. *. ⋆#jordan li smut #jordan li x reader #oh my god i dont even know if i should post this as a writing post or a ramble post so im putting it as both UGH

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crispys-records · 2 months

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travis is the whipped one in any ship hes in but i like to imagine hes especially whipped in zanvis.

like here he is pining for this hot emo freak with the most gorgeous eyes and beautiful laugh and he looks good in everything but especially all black and his voice makes u swoon and (ayesha erotica anyone)

travis gains more confidence once he graduates highschool. and when he realizes that zane lives on the same street as him, hes brought back to his immature highschool days staring longingly at any hot person who doesn't want anything to do with him who passes him in the halls.

hes 14 again, leaning against the lockers and talking to his confidence coach when he gets distracted. not by a hot girl, but by the prettiest boy hes ever seen, sulking to class with a glare that would make anyone faint. he clearly doesn't want a single person to go near him. and travis, ever the unconfident one, wants a piece of that. dante thinks its for a girl. like that hot katelyn chick travis used to stare at? its gotta be her. but sometimes travis will disapear after school, and dante will find him staring at something or someone behind the bleachers and he starts to piece together that travis's type in men is INSANE.

travis never ends up mustering up the courage, but now hes an adult. hes hotter, more charismatic, better. so he waltzes right up to zane's house, knocks on his door, and totally makes a fool of himself. zane sees right through it. he'd find it endearing if he cared, but theres better things to care about than some idiot trying to cozy up with him. So travis is mostly ignored.

zane's days are filled with monotony. he wakes up, gets dressed, works for several hours, and leaves the house for one reason or another. but at some point, travis starts appearing in his point of view, forcing himself into the routine. its not wake up, work, go out, sleep anymore. its wake up, work, talk to travis, sleep. they (reluctantly) exchange numbers. now its wake up, text travis, work, talk to travis, sleep. zane starts to miss when travis isnt there, starts to relish in those moments when they talk. his pride is too much, though, so he'll insist its because travis and aphmau are friends. hes adamant that aphmau's influencing him, that he and travis get along through no fault of his own. hes a tough, emo guy who hates the sun. he couldn’t possibly like a guy as bright as one. no matter how endearing he is. no matter how much he knows they like each other.

as their friendship grows, and they start to hang out with each other exclusively, zane realizes something. travis is popular. a lot of girls, and even some guys, fall for his stupid faux confidence shtick. in a way, it makes zane feel triumphant. he knows that its all an act. he knows the real travis. but it also pisses him off, how travis doesn't even brush them off when theyre together. theyre not in any kind of relationship, not like that. but zane knows travis likes him, so why isnt he saying anything? zane thinks about it more, and realizes that oh. he likes travis too. maybe even more than he realized.

its not long before zane's infamous glare reaches the others. people learn to steer clear of travis when zane's next to him. and as travis starts to second guess himself, zane grows more confident of his and travis's future relationship that hasnt even happened yet meanwhile, travis's confidence starts to slip again. why arent people coming up to him as much? is he unattractive? how can he impress zane without fans now? he starts to postpone his confession, worrying that he isnt worthy enough of zanes love and affection.nevermind the fact that zane's been more physically affectionate. zane leans on travis's shoulder now, grabs him by the wrist and pulls him along, plays with his hair when hes bored. travis is too wrapped up in his head to even realize that he has a chance.

meanwhile, zane, realizing travis wont be making a move anytime soon, wonders if travis even likes him anymore. why wasnt he paying attention to the affection hes been giving him? why wont he say anything? a quick conversation with aphmau later, and he figures out that if he doesnt make the first move, no one will, and theyll be stuck in this limbo forever. so zane does. he says fuck it one day and asks travis if he likes him. travis panicks, thinks that zane is disgusted, starts apologizing profusely, saying he was sorry that it was so obvious and how could he bother zane like that. hes rambling, he wont shut up. zane shuts him up with a kiss. and thats his answer.

zane is cool as shit btw hes so hot. travis is this pathetic loser and probably like taller than zane and is probably the top in the relationship but zane is COOL. he kabedons travis and says cool shit and takes the lead in the relationship. HES the handsome cool boyfriend and travis is the pathetic one. zane takes TRAVIS on dates. zane is the one who the pays the check at restaurants. god i love emo boys

#zanvis #zane ro'meave #travis valkrum #aphblr #aphmau #mystreet #aphverse #getting together #this could be considered fanfiction #but its really just one long convoluted headcanon #crispy thinks

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clockworkcheetah · 9 days

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*shaking your shoulders* hiiiii tell me everything about your thought process behind writing your incredible bangfic the bad dog nerves, inspiration characters writing EVERYTHING it's so good tell us more

hiii getting to talk about my creations!!! ahhh

ok so cause its been a couple of months and my memory is nothingness aka im a little hazy on some stuff. buuuuuut i distinctly remember several things that heavily inspired TBDN im just gonna run my thoughts as they come so i apologise if its incoherent. i am also putting this under a readmore for the sake of everyone. and because spoilers for the fic

first inspo was deathmark2 cause it got its english translation earlier this year (i love deathmark but ill say everytime i talk of it its very difficult to recommend cause it needs so many content warnings). im very much the kinda person who can and will mash fandoms together- ill make those parallels. god cant stop me. basically dm is what got the ball rolling for me- spirits and possession and influenced moods. its only inspired pretty loosely by dm- very much the general concept/brainrot for both fandoms kinda deal. also more horror elements in dghda yes pls

another thing that inspired it was the doctor who ep 'midnight'. that ep was chilling- i think about how you can tell ten is fully awake and aware during his possession and it stuck with me- a+ acting from david. its a fear of mine being fully awake/aware whilst having no control of your body/immobilised and you cant do anything but wait for the inevitable. granted todd leaned more towards anger, or like the five stages of grief, than fear. but that felt more him also cause it went on longer than a few hours (or rather he expresses his fear through anger/lashing out) but i wanted that ugly rawness of it- hes nervous like a bad dog ay ayyyyyyy

(i sorta wish i went harder with it at the end with his scene with dirk, but alas he was burnt out and healing)

also tbh i just love scenes like that in media too. the character is right there! its so close and nobody is helping them so they gotta save their own ass and be a bitch about it

also i just kinda wanted more fics where dirk just fucks up?? like theres no hoops being jumped through to make what he said right (im not exactly a fan of this fanon!dirk where hes this saint who does no wrong/is always right/everyone else is to blame) so that was a goal in mind when writing this- dirk mostly, but also amanda to an extent of being wrong (not like in some horrible malicious way just. you made a bad call. u gotta live with it). also why todd was quicker to forgive farah (or at least be on better terms with her than the others- i really wish i included a convo between them aw well) granted these arent really specific to this fic- i like to have it in other fics, i need those two to fuck up. as well as todd getting to be angry/upset without this notion that he cant cause he did bad things therefore can only be bad, undeserving person forever cause thats how it works obviously (look if i wanted content of todd fucking up id watch the show lemme have something else with fics- ok ill stop being salty now asdfghjkl;)

i also really wanted the aftermath of what happened to be explored (i love the concept of possession/mindcontrol but shows kinda brush it off after the character is freed. like??? youre telling theyre all sunshine and fine now??? no way, theres gonna be a recovery period. aka todds body being weak from literally having zero nutrients, miru not taking care of the body, also learning to have control of his own body again

with the characters or i guess specifically project miru, she wasnt inspired by anything specific. i really like tragic but unsympathetic characters in media so wanted to have a try at it, and to explore the whole riggins' favouritism towards dirk and how the other projects may have felt. idk how well i pulled it off but i had fun writing her interactions with todd even if it was mostly them being dicks to eachother and being a dick to everyone

ok my brain is starting to run on empty so ill close up this haha.

im sure this is universal but when i got the idea of this fic i had the immediate The Scenes™️ for it. they were: amandas confrontation and realising that oh shit it isnt todd the whole time that scene was vivid in my head (also fave scene to write!!) and the other is the final scene with dirk and todd and todd breaking down. todds kinda the 'strong' one of the two (to dirk) and the caretaker- so someone takes care of him and lets him be upset with everyone

but yeah!!! some of my thoughts behind the creation of TBDN 💖🥰🧡 theres stuff i wish i included in the fic and ideas i had after i had already posted but im happy with it regardless. at its core i just wanted some sweet sweet todd whump i wanna traumatise that little man

#THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!!!!#clockworkcheetasks #brotzly

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yonpote · 10 months

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under cut cuz i talk too much lol

i am not blaming dan or anything (and obviously this has been a joke in lgbt spaces for forever) but i do think he unintentionally enabled the like "homophobia is a good thing actually" type jokes and like i definitely make them too, and im always seeing jokes on here like "god why are they Like This" etc. but i think some people just dont know the line or view them so much as friends that they don't think about how it could read differently from someone who is essentially a stranger. ive said smth similar before of like, dnp (ESP DAN...) used to be not great at drawing boundaries esp since youtube and social media culture were so different back then, but now even when they draw hard lines ppl either continue to step right over them, or dont understand exactly where the line goes. they dont care if u write smut or dead dove fics, they dont care if u make shippy fanart, but like maybe dont tag them in buttsecks? (or maybe do, idk theyre being so unhinged lately maybe we gotta start @'ing them in catboy porn (JOKING))

i was talking w a friend a little bit ago about the exact differences between the generally speaking philosophies between older fans and younger fans. it seems that older fans embrace creating transformative works and having their own interpretations on who dnp are, whereas younger fans want to know dnp on a personal level and want dnp to know Them and recognize them not just as fans but as people. and OFC there are older phannies who want the parasocial interaction and younger phannies who write fic and people who do neither, and people who do both! (hi :3) but then some people have a difficult time being able to marry the two ideas maybe?

heres the truth. dan and phil are real human beings who have made a career largely off their shared dynamic together, BOTH because they genuinely enjoy creating and being together AND because a lot of people really get invested in it and it makes them more money. they don't mind fic or art, you probably SHOULDNT tag them in the saucy stuff, but they know it's out there and generally have been respectful of fan spaces and knowing where OUR boundaries lie (altho maybe the line was toed w the roblox video but thats debatable.) they really do care about their audience both in order to please us and keep us coming back, AND because they see how much theyve affected us as people and have a deep *Sarapocial Relationship with us.

there are both parasocial AND tranformative ways to break boundaries, and oftentimes they can be one and the same. they aren't our friends they arent our dads and they arent objects with no feelings. they don't stalk our accounts but they are still able to see whatever we post publicly. theyve seen so many horrible things and have had many horrible things happen to them, and while no one can be certain something like that won't happen again, now that they have been able to be more honest with us about a lot of things they are able to trust us a little bit more.

anyway ramble over back to me talking abt how dan should embrace their transness

#*sarapocial relationship (term coined by john and hank green):#the relationship that creators have with their audience and viewing the audience more like family or friends than just viewers #myrambles #mytext

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unicornsaures · 5 months

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talk. about whatever’s on your mind. aaaanything and everything just in case u needed an invitation to yap today 😻😻

taking this as a excuse to have a yap session about my nonhuman aus because there are SO. many things that are included for very specific reasons(mainly elf laurens cause its my main nonhuman au, but the divinity AU isnt exempt from secret meanings either >:3c) but i just never elaborate on any deeper meanings because technically theyre supposed to be up for interpretation but screw that things are included for very. very specific reasons

OKAY STARTING WITH ELF LAURENS !! Im starting off with his design itself because while its not necessarily a secret, his markings are extremely important to the story because obviously its a massive focus with the whole insecurity thing and attempting to scratch them off so!! In his early design it isnt included, but theres two things i added to either foreshadow things or that make more sense because certain things previously didnt have reasoning. For starters, his voice! I make it *very* clear that Laurens absolutely hates his voice - yknow, with that high pitched nonhuman growl? Theres a reason for that! In my AU, elves arent supposed to have markings on their throat; it fucks with their vocal chords. Yknow who does have a marking on their throat? Thats right, John does! So not only does he have 'two' voices, he also has a big reminder of that just straight in the middle of his throat - so rven if he didnt talk people would know why. Then theres the dots on his head. Thats foreshadowing. Cant tell you what its foreshadowing, but take that information how you will.

Also would like to elaborate on his relationship with Kinloch in the fic because no, Kinloch is not evil or bad or abusive. I try and make it clear that their relationship isnt necessarily healthy, but thats also not Kinloch's fault either way. Its Johns own inability to stabilize his emotions surrounding someone he cares about(ex. begging him to run away with him - when rejected, he runs away himself.) This is a massive mischaracterization of Laurens on my part but like I said in the fic itself, its just me projecting for 4k words. Oh, and he gets that scar on his lip when he's 20 in what i call a 'drinking accident.' Dont ask me to elaborate on that either, John is just a reckless drunk.

Obviously theres the whole art thing, but i think its pretty self explanatory on why hes drawing. I think i stated explicitly it was a coping device but if not i think thats obvious but i never elaborated on his medium of choice; graphite :3!! Its messy. Thats it. He uses the powdered graphite, which i think he would find it was a representation of process rather than product. The point of using graphite is the limited choice of color that only leaves an artist with shades. It also just goes with the theme of his art because idk, hes out here drawing the idea and/or image of death itself in a way its gorey but also gorgeous, so take that as you will.

Also I have had many yap sessions on why exactly John draws the gorey and grotesque but ill save you on insane details and simplify it down to; after his mothers death, he was naturally drawn to the beauty found within something so vile and horrifying.

Okay ive talked all too long aboute the elf laurens thing, so now the divinity AU! There isnt much meaning inside of this other than the very very clear toxic relationship between Alex and John; but its toxic for a reason. As dysfunctional as they may be, they are better of together than apart. Like mentioned in the fic itself, Alex was cruel to his devotees and followers before John came along. I wont go into specifics or anything, he was just cruel. John, on the other hand, was also cruel. Thats why hes a fallen angel, obviously. He fell due to others actions but the reason he followed this other person in the first place is because they were holding something he did over his head, threatening to tell higher deity's and whatnot. But instead, John is a fucking idiot and ended up doing what this person wanted which ultimately ended up in him falling and losing everything. Obviously, this leaves someone scarred because ill just say it, in this AU at least, falling from wherever they may be is not a painless experience.

In turn, he hasn't physically fallen anywhere, but there are physical signs and overall, you can tell by how they act. So, upon finding Alexander - a god, basically - the only other purpose he has in life is to peldge devotion to someone. Hes basically shunned from other angels, and so finding a deity to pledge devotion to is the only thing he can do. Their relationship is not at all healthy. Ive described it as a worshiped/worshiper dynamic because thats what it is. No matter if Alex views John as an equal, Laurens will always view alex as a higher being than he is and in short its a massive power imbalance with how willing John is to bend over backwards for him(ex. ripping off his wings ! Never happens, alex wont physically let him, but like i said, John is willing.) The only reason I say that they should stay together is that other deity's wouldnt stop him from doing this kind of thing. 'Offering your wings to prove your devotion? Yeah, hand em over.' is basically what would happen and it would be 10x more of a corrupted relationship than john and alex have. Alex keeps him in line basically, and John worships him like..well, like the god he is i guess.

Again, this AU is me majorly projecting so take it as you will. But Alex is also completely unaware to why John is a fallen angel anyway. Even being a god, he cant just see peoples sins. He only knows when someone has sinned.

"A shame Alexander may not know his transgressions, he’s sure he couldn't have done much wrong with how much of a pleasure he’s been."

Pulling out the quotes for this story because i personally think its just easier to explain things if its been read.

AND THE BIGGEST THING!!

John nods absentmindedly, leaning into the heat of his palms that make his face contort in a painful type of love.

Its mentioned a few times, but being touched by Alex at all brings physical pain. Mostly because he's not supposed to be touched by a higher being while being a fallen angel, but it also has something to do with the fact he 'swore on his ability to love to prove his devotion.' In short, John didnt think he had the ability to love, much less deserve it. So, being touched by one he fell for brings him physical pain because he shouldnt be supposed to! The love he spoke of when he exempted Alex from this was love a devotee has for their god, not love like as romantic love. Obviously, in a way, he broke his own promise. This is also why the pain goes away after alexander admits he loves him because at that point, 'his god' basically just excused the fact he broke his pledge by announcing any feelings he may have are returned. So yeah! Thats fun.

Anyway, that was my yap session. I talked for way too long uhm..oops! Im not normal about nonhumans :(

#alexander hamilton #amrev #john laurens #historical lams #lams #dolirants #asks #divinity au #nonhuman au #amrev au #tw long post #jesus christ #im so sorry for this

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chiroptaro · 1 year

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Hey! Who are your top 3 action webtoon characters (doesn't have to include main character) and why?

gives u a big hug when i saw this ask i yelled out loud ty SM for asking . i had to think long and hard about this one bc honestly there are SO many amazing characters to choose from augh!!! okok im gonna put it under a read more bc i went a little overboard my bad 🤧

slight spoilers(?) for viral hit, teenage mercenary

3. kayden from eleceed!!!! okay first of all shoutout to casein nitrate for being the funniest fuckin concept ive ever read in a webtoon oh my GOD. when he was in human form for the first time in front of the gang and ilhyuk and was like "why arent they giving me treats.." I WAS ROLLING OH MY GODDD. THE WAY HE INTERACTS W PEOPLE IN HIS CAT FORM IS HYSTERICAL. anyways as a character i rlly rlly like him because of how much he. cares about jiwoo like that's LITERALLY his son that's his little boy the found families in eleceed have me sobbing all day theyre so important to me. i also like him because of HOW STRONG HE IS?? LIKE HE'S SO YOUNG BUT HE'S RESPECTED BY EVERY AWAKENED BC OF HIS STRENGTH LIKE OMG. also he is so so gender im so jealous of him and kartein UGH. speaking of kartein him and kartein's relationship is great to me bc they bring out dif sides of each other that r super cool to see !! also theyre hilarious together . kayden's funny and he looks cool AND he kicks ass AND HE'S A GRUMPY DAD FIGURE like it does not get any better than this.

2. ijin from teenage mercenary/mercenary enrollment !!!! this one is my fav webtoon of all time 💓💓 i adore ijin because like...even after all he's been through and how grim and immovable his life has made him, he's still so so gentle with his grandfather and little sister. he loves his family so so much and it makes me ILL. speaking of his family i adore just how many families he HAS like he has the numbers, major kang and all them (his relationship w them has me absolutely dead on the floor the amount of rants ive gone on abt them is frankly worrying), dusik cha n his right hand man, and ofc his grandpa and dayeon!! he's so caring that he creates such strong bonds with so many people and they become irreplaceable in his heart and he would do absolutely anything to protect them. he puts the people he sees as family over EVERYTHING in his life and once a person has become part of his fam he becomes super protective of them <3 an example of that is once he knew that jiyeh was engaged to major kang, who was the first person to really help him understand what family means, he immediately added her to the ppl to be protected and went super far to protect her when she got kidnapped because he knows she's special to major kang!! someone in the comments said "his in-law!!" and that had me sobbing on the floor bc he got so excited and felt like he had to be cool in front of her AUGHH. he's such a sweetheart while also being an incredible and badass fighter and that combo is my fav kind of character 🫶🫶

1. MY ABSOLUTELY FAV IS TAEHUN FROM VIRAL HIT/HOW TO FIGHT. me and my buddy literally rant to each other all the time about him every time he shows up we're kicking our feet twirling our hair giggling.... i haven't finished his backstory arc (im paused at the beginning of it i've had to mentally prepare myself) but i like him bc he's really passionate abt taekwondo and was ready to teach it to hobin even tho he said he would beat the crap out of him the next time he saw him ... imo this was the turning point for them and if hobin hadnt gone to him to learn the back kick taehun wouldnt have become such an integral part of the hobin yu company(lol). i also rlly love that he was determined to start a newtube channel even tho he thought it was embarrassing aughh it was so cute!! also he watches hobin's streams and is visibly super proud of how far he's come and i think thats rlly sweet <33 i also love him bc he's incredibly gender like i wish i was him so so bad the mullet and the style and the LIPGLOSS AND MASCARA AND EYELINER and the snark and the asking for 500 won thing he's so frickin cool im obsessed with him AUGH!!! i just think he's super cool. another reason is bc of how obviously fruity that guy is like oh my god he cannot be normal for 3 seconds every time he's trying to intimidate someone he has to get all up in their personal space like,, be fr. when he first confronted yeonu(?) did u see that pose bruh what was that. every time his fangirls show up in v-hit's chat im like theyre LITERALLY me i could not relate to them more honestly. i made him an entire pinterest board . the entire reason i started reading v-hit was for him bc my friend told me abt how cool he was and i just had to get in on that so,, yaya !!! he exceeded my expectations a thousand times and ilhsm

^ some of my fav taehun scenes altho every single panel he's in has me blushing and giggling 🤭

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

frankenstein from noblesse!! he's so badass and i love his hair and he's so loyal he just. aughh even tho the gang pisses him off sometimes he still cares for them sm

mr na from get schooled/true education!! he cares so so much abt the kids and helping them and he really wants to defend his fiancee and prove that she was right to say all kids can change <3

gerard from weak hero...he is so special to me i love how old man he is. he sleeps in bushes and enjoys slapstick comedy he's just like me fr!!! i just love him soo much smth about these guys who fight w kicks 💓

#eds asks #webtoon #action webtoon #viral hit #taehun viral hit #teenage mercenary #mercenary enrollment #yu ijin #eleceed #kayden eleceed #weak hero #get schooled #noblesse #beloved anon #anon u have no idea how excited i was when i got this ilysm

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leclercenjoyer · 11 months

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tagged by my beloved @ayceeofspades thank u 💖

tagging @wolfiemcwolferson @duquesademiel @river-ocean @gaslybottoms

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

11 (10 under my username and 1 on anon)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

30,363! my goal for the year was to hit 20k total so ive already smashed that

3. What fandoms do you write for?

f1 babyyyyy

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

something borrowed (my first fic which im genuinely quite proud of)

tip of the tongue (literally just pwp)

treat with care (girl brainrot)

no poor substitute (my a/b/o unwellness which was. shockingly well received)

helping hand (esteban hand propaganda)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i WANT TO but i always feel so awkward and i never know what to say 😭 i dont know how to adequately express my emotions so i just end up. never getting around to it and i feel BAD ABOUT IT

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

muscle memory... its like. my singular angsty fic. the ending is nice and hopeful right up until i shatter it with a hammer but it Had to be done. its simply how it is.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i think all the other ones!! possibly no poor substitute or treat with care because they both end on an "oh this is a New Relationship now" while something borrowed and tip of the tongue are both more like. we were already hooking up but i guess its serious now.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no and if i ever did i would cry forever

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

almost exclusively jdkjhdkjhs it is my Favored Terrain. i feel like my smut is. emotional and grounded? or at least thats what i hope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no, not that im aware!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

non! but i would be delighted if anyone did.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but i hope to one day!!!

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

i have been thinking about pierresteban literally non-stop for the past 14 calendar months i am so fucking sorry to everyone who knows me

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

my singular wip on ao3 is on anon and... i dont know if i'll ever finish it but i hope i will at some point. and as for unpublished wips... i have a lot. i dont know if ill ever get around to finishing most of them.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i have consulted the gang and i have been told that i am good at tying the physical and emotional together (which is something i do Deliberately try to do as much as i can) and that i am very meticulous with what words i choose to use to carry a mood

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

DIALOGUE GOOD GOD. every single bit of dialogue ive ever written has been like pulling teeth. the thing is i dont know how to talk like a human person and i dont know how human people talk so it is my worst nightmare. one of my eternal wips is one i started and got like 3k words into before realizing that the dialogue would have to do the heavy lifting for the rest of the fic and then i was like "oh god damn it im an idiot arent i". also sentence structure that isnt subject-verb-object. but im kind of leaning into it tbh.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

my honest to be honest opinion is just. write the dialogue in english and if you NEED to specify what language the character is speaking just be like "he says in [language]" UNLESS the pov character doesnt understand what theyre saying. literally simple as that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

f1 baby!!! this is literally the first fandom that has broken through the barrier in my brain thats kept me from writing fic my entire life. not even amc's the terror 2018 could do that.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

honestly? something borrowed. it was the first fic i ever completed literally in my life and i have such a soft spot for it and people were so UNBELIEVABLY nice to me about it!!!!

#tag meme

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letmeoutofthebasementt · 4 months

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whats also funny for me is with these younger groups i genuinely dont care what they get up too its more so that theres nothing else i like about music these days. the music i like aint been around for decades and if it is mentioned its usually mainly on tiktok and i hate tiktok so much.

if i could id take a time machine and go to any pre internet era just bc i think it was more lively and music back then was more in person not something you had to travel to see bc there was stuff occuring all over places now its usually in select places at select times and so u have to either physicslly take urself to the groups rather than the otherway around.

literally i wouldve suited even the 50s, there just more natural characters back then imho not that there arent now its mainly that a lot of idol groups esp the mainstream ones seem to have certain attributes they need to debut in the group itself whereas music back then was for anyone of any age of any musical talent could do it they didnt always have to be young. kpop overall seems quite restrictive it seems that even 20 years old is now too old for someone to debut which is quite shameful really. theyre still very imagery or conceptual based i think. i also dont like how on a lot of shows theyre very very scripted, skz are hilarious to watch bc they often break their characters or say something completely out of pocket

it just seems the younger they make these groups the more these groups are very moulded into something that isnt how they might want to be or act

it also makes me wonder if rn i had to show them something musically that it would never suit what they were looking for either, they seem to like soft cutesy girly things or members with particular features which is the opposite of ateez and skz. thats what draw me to some of these groups cause it wasnt typical yknow? but idk its still not quite the same vibe i get from listening to older music either cause thats more what im used too and theres just nothing else interesting me they couldnt even pay me to go see taylor swift either cause even she isnt my style. sorry for my ramble. it does make me laugh when they use foundation that is obvi not the right foundation shade so like their neck is darker than their overall face colour or they add those blue eye contacts bc thats my eye colour. i tend to prefer if they arent always perfect skin and perfectly dressed like if they just casual or natural in their non stage looks then i tend to find it more attractive. like the way san dresses in his vlives for example thats very simple but its attractive at the same time.

I’m already confused. What do you mean “You don’t have to travel to see them.” Do you think people just had Elvis come to THEM with no prior planning? I’m confused here. And if that was the case no kpop groups would be known in the west because they wouldn’t be performing in the west. They’d just have pop ups all over Korea that may or may not do well because there’s no planning and they’re just “coming to you.” No hate or anything, but that doesn’t really make much sense.

I agree that the KPOP industry is rather controlled, but there are some genuine and funny groups out there. And you seem to forget that it’s their job. Like any job you need to have rules and guidelines to follow to keep yourself from negatively impacting your company, coworkers, etc. like if Jay Park was in a group saying the stuff he said the company AND the group would suffer. They’re also probably not comfortable being 100% how they are behind closed doors in public for every stranger and their mother to see.

I do agree that they should debut older idols, which they do do occasionally, but I also understand why they don’t. They have more time to grow and mold the idols before they move on with their life. Before they marry and start families. The groups can grow together and become closer and not risk breaking up. The idols can become endearing to the public and the public can feel like they’re growing WITH the idols, which makes them stick around. The idols can become used to the industry as you learn better when you’re younger.

But I do agree there’s also a lot of issues with that.

I agree that, again, they should definitely not try and make them paler but that’s also the beauty standard? I’m not saying it’s okay, but it’s like how here in the west a lot of artists try and get tans and other things because that’s the standard over here.

I definitely know a lot of groups that aren’t really all…Bubblegum vibes. But at the same time, again, over there that’s what’s more popular and more socially acceptable. And it is K pop. Korean pop. So things are going to be different. But I do prefer groups that aren’t so bubblegum like you do.

And again, you’re forgetting they’re working. Most people don’t wear casual clothes and look…Imperfect to work. Especially when you’re under close scrutiny and any and everything you do could go viral and affect your career. And most idols DO dress down in lives, albeit they still try to look decent because, again, they ARE working. It’s their job. Their livelihood.

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tired-of-living-life · 1 year

Text

i dont really know what to say. i have trouble opening up and talking to people. every time i talk i feel like im being judged so i end up not talking. im scared pf people. i sweat when i talk to people and i feel my heartbeat when someone asks me a question.

i also know that im in a toxic relationship but i cant leave it. im too attached and hes my best friend. but hes not healthy for me and im not for him. i know if we break up ill be more of a mess than i already am right now.

i dont trust anyone, one of the reasons why i cant open up. i always doubt if theyre telling telling the truth.

he doesnt trust me and i dont trust him.

it started when i saw how touchy he was with other girls in front of my friend and i and since then i couldnt trust him. it doesnt help that my ex cheated on me and it took me a year and a half to get over that.

i finally broke up with him after a week when we got into a big fight. he squeezed my arms so tight and was yelling at me. i had to tell him he was hurting me before he finally let go of my arm. i was tired and scared. i dont like loud noises and he was constantly yelling at me.

after 2 months we got back together.

he doesnt trust me as well because after we broke up i looked for attention from another guy he wasn’t too fond of. was it my fault?

some part of it was because i still talked to him even when broke up.

eventually i told him and he was furious but we still somehow managed to stay together.

im in a relationship without trust. how does that work?

when he goes out, im always on edge. he might be flirting with other girls or touching them how would i know if im not there with him?

a part of me wants to go out and have fun with my girlfriend but i choose to stay with him so i wont have to worry if hes out there being all touchy with girls.

a part of me doesnt enjoy the time i go out because im constantly worrying if hes out being all touchy. he has no personal boundaries and it makes everything worse.

whenever we get into a fight, i express my feelings. in some cases hes in the wrong yet he makes it my fault.

i always end up apologizing when hes the one whos in the wrong.

whenever we fight i hate it. i hate it so much to the point i dont want to feel anything. in order not to feel, i dig my nails into my arm so i can focus on that pain rather than the fight.

its draining to always have to apologize, always being blamed.

because of these constant fights, i end up not opening up to him. im closed more than ever. i result to writing my feelings down just so i wont explode.

i dont feel like myself anymore because i have become so toxic. the absence of trust makes me go crazy when i dont know what hes doing. every second hes out and im not there, i feel like im being cheated all over again. im so toxic to the point i dont want him hanging out with anyone else but me, because in that way, at least hes not cheating or being touchy with other people. that way, i dont have to overthink.

he brought up how i dont talk to him anymore. how could i? how could i talk to him knowing he’ll just blame me and it ends with me apologizing over and over again.

im tired.

he drains me but at the same time makes me feel at ease. how does that work?

at the end of the day hes my best friend and i want to make us work and i know he does too. i dont know what to do. i want to detach myself but if i do, he will too and ill just feel unloved. i dont know what to do. im so tired

all these drain me so much that im always sleeping or having trouble sleeping, none in between. i wake up tired, im in school tired, i go ti bed tired but can’t get restful sleep. i want to have energy, to be wake up happy, not feeling like im trapped in a cage.

my best friends arent too fond of my boyfriend and i always feel the strain whenever hes there in the presence of them.

i want to rewind to the time where i didnt have to overthink, to the time i was a chill girlfriend not a toxic one.

but u cant help myself when im toxic because it drives me crazy i feel so much anger, hurt and hatred boil inside me when he talks to other girls.

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redr0sewrites · 1 year

Note

14, 23, 63 for the ask game!

AAA TYSM!!!! SOOO EXCITED AB THIS EHEHEH!!!! just fyi, these questions are from this post

14. (how do you write emotional scenes? do you ever feel what the characters feel? do you draw from personal experiences?)

when writing emotional things i often do use personal experience or my own feelings, but i also do try to put myself in others' shoes too! i consider myself to be pretty empathetic (to a fault sometimes), and writing too much emotional or negative content def has an effect on me. i always make sure to space out my emotional or angsty writing pieces, and overall it can be a bit challenging handling emotions in my writing!!! i def feel what the characters feel when im writing, esp when it comes to x reader fics cuz i want to make both the readers and the characters personalities as accurate as possible!!!

23. (Best writing advice for other writers?)

WRITE WHAT YOU ENJOY. im serious, if your forcing yourself to write for a fandom, character, or anything at all that you dont enjoy it will be so draining and exhausting!!! you also are NOT obligated to obey other peoples wishes when it comes to writing reqs, trust me when i say that no one else should dictate your writing or writing style. if someone doesn't like your writing, thats their problem and if people are continuously disobeying and disrespecting your requesting rules and guidelines it is VERY MUCH OK to simply not write their requests and to set that boundary. finally, never feel afraid to write or post something if it feels too "cringe" or bad, bc the more you write the more you improve!!! keeping all those ideas and creativity bottled up inside personally made me feel so misunderstood, and i felt like i had nobody who shared my interests. thats why i personally started writing fanfiction, to feel closer to my interests and share them with others!! (also coming from a fanfic writer + reader standpoint, make a masterlist PLEASE it makes finding your fics so much easier and link thirsts as well, not just fics! i see so many good writing blogs with incredible wips or thirsts or asks that i want to read, but have only like 2 fics actually on their masterlist and it takes FOREVER to scroll and find all the posts in the archives. i just find masterlists sm easier and more organized tbh!!!)

63. (something you hate to see in smut.)

THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE OFFENSIVE OR TARGETED, JUST SOME THINGS I DONT LIEK!!! i do some of these in my own writing, dont feel bad if u do this stuff, its just my preference!!!!

now, starting off- when the story starts right in the middle of the smut with NO CLUE where the characters are, what position theyre in, whats going on, like the first sentence is like "i could feel my release building as (character) thrusted into me" HOW? WHERE? WHEN???? WHY????? WHATS GOING ON???? also, when the writer is describing a position or something but 2 paragraphs later the position seems completely different with no context whatsoever- like one second the characters hitting it from the back and the next theyre sloppily making out and rubbing their chests together??? when did they move???? also when theres like NO description at ALL ab the position, liek i NEED to know what im visualizing here😭😭😭 . an unnecessary amount of dialogue is also a no-no for me, like why yall having a discussion arent u fucking😭😭😭😭. AND FINALLY. THE BIGGEST PET PEEVE OF THEM ALL. WHEN ITS TAGGED AS GN BUT THEN THE ANATOMY IS DESCRIBED AS FEM OR MASC LIKE USING COCK OR G SPOT OR PROSTATE ITS SUPPOSED TO BE GN!!!! CAN ALSO BE WHEN ITS TAGGED MALE AND THEIRS FEM ANATOMY AND VICE VERSA, WRITERS PLSSS TAG UR SMUTS ACCORDINGLY I DONT WANT GENDER DYSPHORIA WHEN TRYING TO SIMPLY READ SMUT 💀💀💀

ANYWAYSSSSS TYSM FOR ASKING!!!! FEEL FREE TO SEND IN MORE, I LOVE THIS ASK GAME SM AJSJS

#writing reqs #writing community #writing #x reader

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menalez · 1 year

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I could definitely be wrong, but as an autistic person I honestly read the 'different language' thing as just an expression of how it feels to be autistic, not insulting your English. The way my thoughts connect to each other in my head and come out of my mouth is so different from the way they do for people who aren't autistic, and it really does feel like speaking a whole different language. Trying to get people to understand what I'm saying is very difficult and I do have to apologize and clarify a lot, and honestly, it does get exhausting, because a lot of people will refuse to believe what I actually meant because the words I said didn't translate into that for them the way it did for me and it's hard for them to understand that what obviously means one thing to them obviously means another thing to me.

Not saying macro is in the right here, but I also read you saying the part about things 'leading to the conclusion that' as you stating the conclusion as something that you believed to be true--in hindsight and after your explanation, I realize that was a silly way to read it, but it happens so often that I'm more wary of it. I don't think anyone here is intentionally misinterpreting words; this kind of misunderstanding isn't uncommon for autistic people. It's just a pile of misunderstandings.

I started talking way too much, but my point is, I think that was what the 'different language' thing meant--the child comment was uncalled for, but I don't think it was about your English at all. Again, though, I could be wrong.

Hopefully I worded all of this in a way that 'translates' properly. I'm a little tired so stringing words together is harder than it is normally, so if any of this came off wrong, I'm very sorry. I'm honestly not trying to take sides here, I don't feel like I know enough about the whole situation to make any solid judgments on it, I'm just trying to help clear up the misunderstandings because I'm very familiar with how easy it is for these things to happen. Also, I always enjoy seeing you on my timeline, you seem like a cool person and I don't want you to maybe feel hurt over something that came off wrong. (Though in this context, it really should have been worded differently.) Obviously I don't know how you're actually feeling about it, but, well, insults are hurtful. Sorry for stating the incredibly obvious there, like I said my words are not forming well.

Sorry for the very long ask. Hope you're doing well!

but afaik butch-reid'd is not autistic as well is she? i can understand though bc very often im saying things and it feels like people are somehow reading entirely different (which is what they just did to me, funnily enough) but i wish theyd perhaps avoid such comments with me bc seriously the amount of times this week alone that people have made weird comments to me about my english or language abilities is .. too much. i ignored it bc of that bc i was like what is up with this comment why do peopl keep saying things about my language abilities to me -_-

anyways im mostly frustrated now that even after explaining at least twice that i am simply saying that people reading ur words literally does not mean theyre out to get u and trying to misconstrue u and whatever else, & its ok to simply correct them and move on, theyre now intentionally misconstruing me to call me ableist lol. like im supposed to give everything they say the most generous interpretation ever, but even when im clarifying my words repeatedly i dont deserve the same.. its odd. especially when i dont think im saying anything unreasonable when i say "people arent intentionally misconstruing you by reading ur words as they are literally written, youre simply wording them unclearly & can clarify it and then move on. if it requires knowing u personally and already having positive feelings towards u to understand what ur saying as u intend it then it is simply unclear"

anyways thank u anon and i appreciate hearing ur input <3 im just baffled by how i was trying to politely explain sth to them and i got repeated insults in return

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dameronology · 2 years

Text

angel eyes (obi-wan)

summary: after order 66, obi-wan kenobi tried his very best to move on from you. it would be a shame if you were to ruin that. (obviously based on the abba song) - 2.8k words

warnings: language, kind of emotional infedelity?? and also angst. no kenobi spoilers tho.

it's 4.11am and i have been writing this for six hours. and truth be told i think i could do more with it but even more truther be tolder i am too sleep deprived to argue with myself. enjoy.

-jazz

Your relationship with Obi-Wan Kenobi had died with the Jedi Order.

The end of your relationship had been beautifully in sync with the start of your relationship, in the sense that it had been out of necessity and a little for your own soundness of mind. It was clear from the start that Kenobi was essential in your life if you wanted to stay sane. He was grounded and smart, which was a beautiful contrast to your haywire, rebellious ways. So you became friends. And then you found that being friends wasn't really an option, because you loved him and couldn't really live without him. You hadn't expected to find the love of your life in the very place that forbade such a thing, but you would come to learn that the universe wasn't really fair. Still though, it hadn't felt completely and entirely cruel when Obi-Wan affirmed that he felt the same way about you. Thus, triggering the beginning of the most intensely passionate and beautiful five years of your life.

Obi-Wan wasn't a man who did things by halves. In fact, he did them tenfold or he didn't do them at all. That meant that he absolutely carried you through the worst of times and the best of times. He made you feel things you hadn't thought possible: like heaven was right there in the Jedi Temple. Sneaking around and lying to the Council got a little difficult at times, but all it took was one look at him and you knew in your soul that it was worth it. All those whispered conversations of leaving the Order together and having a future, a real future, were the only thing that got you through the war. They'd been nothing but a fantasy at the time.

You still remembered how it felt to see him after Order 66. The comms systems had fallen completely and you had no clue if he was alive. It was too hard to concentrate and reach out over the Force. Those hours had been gruelling.

You'd seen Obi-Wan for the first time aboard Bail Organa's ship. You'd never seen him move so quickly; he took you up in his arms, pulled you into chest and just held you for a moment. Neither of you said anything. Neither of you had to. Amongst the grief and loss, you felt a sense of relief. It was hard to say you'd lost everything when you still had him.

At least you thought. Because by that point, it was beyond dangerous for two Jedi to stay together. There was a galaxy wide manhunt for every remaining knight but especially Obi-Wan. His leading part in this entire thing basically put a target on his back and that was enough danger for one person, let alone two. The Empire would have struck gold if they found you together.

Your only option - and the only way to survive - was to go your separate ways. It hurt. It hurt a lot. Mostly because a small part of you had hoped that those silly fantasies about a future together might finally pay off now that the Order was gone. But, like I said: the universe was cruel. Far crueller than you ever expected it to be.

The only thing that kept you going after your separation was his promise to you.

"I'll never love anyone the way I love you."

Obi-Wan was to go to Tatooine and you were to go Alderaan. Your names would be wiped from the records; you'd be given new identities, new stories, new everything. You owed Bail Organa your life for offering to help you out.

Saying goodbye hurt you in a way you couldn't quite explain. The first few weeks without him were even worst: you could no longer reach out to him when your nightmares sank in during the late hours. There were no blue eyes to open up to; no-one to say sweetheart, don't be stupid every time you were about to make an irrational decision. It was like you were two parts of a whole and now Obi-Wan was gone, the logical part of your mind had gone completely.

Maybe that was why you fell into bounty hunting. The danger and adrenaline wasn't that far off from your days as a Jedi. It paid well and no-one hunting the Jedi would ever think to look in the dingy bars and cantinas of downtown Alderaan. It worked in a way you hadn't expected. Not enough to make you feel as whole as you had at the Temple with Obi-Wan, but just enough so that you could feel yourself moving on.

Obi-Wan's words rung through your brain every night for the next five years. I'll never love anyone the way I love you.

Time passed and you had flings here and there; a few dates that a mutual friend set you up, a brief dalliance with a fellow bounty hunter, yada, yada, yada. None it counted for anything. It was all a desperate attempt to find a connection again. There came a point where it felt like your ability to love another person lived and died with Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Five years after the fall of the Galactic Republic, you took a job in Tatooine. There was a complete disconnect in your mind between the desert planet and Obi-Wan living there. Hell, you didn't know if he was still there. You didn't even know if he was still alive. It had been a good two years since you’d had any updates from him. The Organas had made a point of updating you at first, but that had faded along with your contact with them. Reminders of your former life weren’t what you needed anymore.

Tatooine was dry. It was dusty and it was sandy and it was fucking dry. There was no guarantee that the quarry you were after was even there. Mos Eisley wasn’t exactly a small spaceport; it was packed with different shops and stalls and clustered with people. That made it the least ideal place to try and hunt someone down.

You elbowed your way through the crowds in the main square, eyes peeled for the quarry. Your hood was up around your head - half to protect you from the sun, but also half to hide your face. There had been whispers over the last few weeks of an Empire presence here. Even though Jabba the Hutt apparently ruled the place, it wasn’t completely unheard of for the Imps to be sniffing around everywhere.

Hooking a right, you turned the corner from the main square and into one of the smaller streets. You almost instantly collided with a girl; you let out an oof! as you fell on your ass, a cloud of dust evaporating around your form as you hit the ground. She took a step back and held out her hand.

“I am so sorry!” she exclaimed.

“No, it’s my fault-”

“- oh, darling. Are you running into people again?”

You froze. You actually fucking froze. That was a voice you would have recognised anywhere - even more so because he’d said that phrase to you a thousand times before. It was always oh darling, are you running into people again? or how did you not see the wall, my love? or just…something about how fucking clumsy you were. Obi-Wan had found it endearing.

You heard his voice and then his face came into view. He didn’t look that different - his hair was a little longer and his beard more jagged, but his blue eyes caught yours and immediately you knew it was Obi-Wan Kenobi. Undeniable and in the flesh. Calling another person sweetheart. He took a step towards her and put an arm on her waist, hand resting on her hip. That was how he used to hold you. Fucking ouch.

He hadn’t noticed you. Not yet.

“Oh hush, Ben,” she smiled, and then looked back at you. “I am genuinely sorry. You’re not hurt, are you?”

Not physically. Haha.

“No, not at all,” you cleared your throat.

Obi-Wan glanced from the girl and towards you - then you shared the same look. It was like seeing a ghost from his past. Actually, you were a ghost from his past. He’d tried so hard for so long to shove you to the back of his mind and move on. It was only in the last few years that he’d succeeded. He should have known that you were going to turn up out of nowhere and blow everything apart. You’d done it once before. Why not again?

He didn’t know what to say. That was ironic, because he’d spent hours laying awake at night thinking about the speech he would give you if you ever turned up again. It was gone now. And so it seemed had his ability to speak.

Neither of you knew how to play it. Did you pretend you were strangers, for the sake of the girl in front of you? The girl, who in your opinion, looked at him a little too much like you used to. With some kind of admiration and hope. Like Obi-Wan Kenobi hung the stars in the sky and wrote out the constellations just for you. To her, it seemed he was Ben. You didn’t who the fuck Ben was. Moreso, you didn’t know who the fuck this girl was.

“Ben, is it?” you asked. Okay, you were going with playing dumb. “Are you guys locals?”

“I am!” the girl piped up. “Born and raised, sadly. Ben here moved to the port a few years ago. I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.”

“I’m…here on business,” you trailed off. “I’m just looking for a hotel, actually. It’s getting dark and I don’t fancy staying on my ship all night. If you guys could just give me directions, I’ll be on my way and-”

You didn’t want to be on your way. You had a thousand questions to ask; some about Kenobi, some about the relationship he seemingly had with this girl. Neither of those things were your business. Your relationship with him had ended half a decade ago. It was just that promise of I’ll never love anyone like I love you that rang through your head. It would have been easier to believe he didn’t look at her the same fucking way he once looked at you.

“The hotels here are extortionate,” she said. “Ben has a spare room. He’s always letting travellers crash there. I’m sure he won’t mind if you stay the night.”

Spoiler alert: he did mind. And you minded too. You minded even more than his name was seemingly Ben now. You knew it mostly for safety, so that the Imps couldn’t find him, but he was always Obi-Wan in your mind. Nothing would ever change that.

“It’s okay,” you insisted. “I really don’t mind paying. Besides, I’m just a stranger and-”

“- nonsense!” she cut you off. “You don’t seem like an axe murderer.”

To Obi-Wan, you were arguably much worse than an axe murderer.

“Uh,” he stuttered. He couldn’t say no - the girl clearly had him wrapped around her finger. “I don’t see why not.”

You gave him a look that said think, Kenobi. Think of a single fucking reason.

Still, he had nothing.

“Great,” you murmured.

The girl leant down and picked up the bags that you’d dropped earlier. She was nice. Too nice. Not only did that make it harder to dislike her, but it made you think that things between them must have been boring. Your entire relationship with Obi-Wan had been built on the fact that you were chaotic as fuck and he was the calm one. You’d ruined his life in the best way.

—

You spent the rest of the afternoon traipsing after the couple through the Mos Eisley markets. They were together - you could decipher that much. The girl seemed grabbier than him but you couldn’t decipher if it was always that way, or if Obi-Wan was just playing it down because you were there.

It killed both of you not being able to talk about the things you needed, or to say the things you needed to. There was so much unspoken tension in the air and it was a surprise that his lover hadn’t picked up on it. She seemed completely clueless, from the minute she invited you to stay in his spare room, to the minute she kissed him goodbye and retired back to her own house for the night.

That left you and Kenobi in his converted cave, sat in silence until the door slammed shut and you both jumped into action. Naturally, you were the first to speak.

“What the fuck is going on?”

“I could ask you the same,” Obi-Wan shot back. “What are you doing here?”

“I wasn’t lying earlier when I said I was on business,” you said. “I followed a bounty here. I didn’t expect to run into you. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure if you were alive.”

“I am - just about,” he murmured. “I could say the same for you.”

“I wouldn’t call this just about,” you replied, glancing around. “Obi-Wan, who is Ben?”

“Ben is the name I took upon arriving here,” he explained. “Obi-Wan Kenobi is no more. He’s dead. He had to die.”

“He’s not dead,” you shook your head. “I’m looking right at him, aren’t I?”

“Not quite.”

“Oh, don’t give me that,” you scoffed. “I recognised you straight away. I can see it in your eyes - the way you look around when you think you see danger, that inquisitive glance towards the crowds, the way you hold yourself. You can change your name all you want but nothing will change the fact that you are Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

“You haven’t changed one bit.”

“You have, though,” you muttered. “With your new house, and job, and girlfriend-”

“- don’t be like that,” Obi-Wan cut you off. “I had to make a life for myself here. I didn’t know what I’d see you again-”

“- I’m not being like anything,” you rolled your eyes. “I just…do you remember that last promise you made to me before we broke up?”

He nodded. “Clear as day. I promised you that I would never love someone as much as I love you - and I’ve kept that promise.”

“I don’t think you have,” you shook your head. “I’ve seen the way you look at her. You love her. I’m not fucking blind.”

Obi-Wan stood up and crossed the room to where you were standing. It felt weird to be near you again. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and hug you; it’s what he’d been craving for yours. Not just someone’s touch, but your touch. You’d been a pillar in his life and now that you were gone, he’d felt everything crumbling down to the very core.

“Maybe some part of me was just hoping that you’d wait for me,” you murmured. “I know it’s ridiculous. I just think that you might be the very best thing that ever happened to me and even when you’re gone, I’m still foolish enough to cling onto hope.”

“It was circumstantial,” he began. “She lives three doors down. We met and we got on and it made sense for us to start dating. You can see that my life here is a little lacklustre. I thought it might bring excitement.”

“Did it?”

Obi shook his head. “Not in the slightest. She’s nice but she doesn’t get me the way you did. I don’t think anyone ever will - so I might look at her with affection but I can assure you that I will never love anyone the way I love you.”

Love. In the present tense. Not the past. The Jedi were in the past. The Republic was in the past. Everything was in the past. But seemingly, not his love for you, nor your love for him. It might have been dormant for a while but it was bright as day now you were together.

“I’ve spent the last five years chasing a feeling that I can only get with you,” he continued. “Whatever mixture of stress, excitement and terror that may be.”

“Me too,” you said. “Moving on is hard.”

“It is insufferable,” Obi-Wan replied. He took your hands, thumbs ghosting over the back of your palm. “But you have to understand, my love, that moving on is sometimes not a choice so much it is a necessity.”

“I know,” you murmured. “It’s still not safe for us to be together, is it?”

“It’s not,” he confirmed. “And even if it was, what we had is no more. I will undoubtedly take your love with me into the future but our relationship belongs in the past.”

“Right,” you nodded. “Right person, wrong time, I guess.”

“No, not at all - you’re the right person. All the time.”

tags: @hellotherekenobi @frampuccino @currentlysobbingtofortiesmusic

381 notes · View notes

sillysnack · 3 years

Text

when he sees me

/ (romantic)

pairing: carlos madrigal / reader

prns used: they/them (told in 2nd person)

word count: 3384

request by an anon! hope u and anyone else reading enjoys < 3

part 1 of ldr w/ carlos lmao | masterlist

— — — — —

notes + the request: modern au ! ye HAHASHHA tl;dr the request is carlos ghosts the reader for quite some time but the reader doesn’t know why and carlos cant rlly talk to you so 🤷‍♀️

content warning for cursing

tagging @kissingharu nagpa-tag siya eh tnx sa su4t (su-four-t > support)

— — — — —

You don’t know what happened. A week ago, you two were perfectly fine! Carlos would message you a few minutes after he woke up, as usual; you two would fall asleep on call together, you’d talk to each other's families as if you all lived in one big house; typical stuff you two would do as a couple. For some reason though, Carlos hasn’t replied to you in a week; no updates or anything, not even on his other accounts.

Did Carlos ghost you? Surely, he wouldn’t, right? But why weren’t the two of you talking? He makes sure to send you messages if anything comes up, he always does. It’s okay if he sometimes forgets to update, though. Maybe this week’s just one of those times. Maybe he’s perfectly fine, but just doesn’t want to talk to you!

“Hang on, that’s literally what ghosting is.” You look at your phone. You’ve probably sent him more than a dozen text messages just within the day, but you get no response.

carlos, mi vida?

delivered.

i hope i’m not being too clingy but i miss you. i hope ur doing well :)

delivered.

i think i might come and visit you, if thats okay? i mean, we do trust each other long enough to give our addresses

delivered.

plus we deliver shit to each other almost every day LMAO

delivered.

we *do* talk a lot about meeting up soon… r u okay with that soon being today?

delivered.

taking that as a ‘yes’ btw! going to ask my parents if theyre ok with me going to your house

delivered.

amor, i hope you’re safe. i love u <3 see u later

delivered.

Lord knows you’ve sent too many messages to Carlos. Hell, you sent him around eight messages just that morning.

8:22 AM

gm carlos! hope you slept well 💟

delivered.

youre probably still sleeping, in which case, sleep well! dont forget your meals & to take care of yourself

delivered.

i love you!

delivered.

9:34 AM

HI CARLOSSS just finished eating breakfast!

(You sent a photo.)

delivered.

have you eaten breakfast alr ?? u better 😒

delivered.

I FEEL SO CLINGY FUCK SORRYYy i just💔💔 i miss youu 🥀🖤☠

delivered.

I WONT BOTHER U ANYMORE TODAYY

delivered.

jk lol We r literally in a relationship. pro is youre in love and its really fucking adorable, cons are youre in love with ME (manmade curse)

delivered.

You scroll through your messages last night. God, to say that you like Carlos was an understatement; you were absolutely smitten for a guy you met online. But hey, as long as you're happy!

carlosss

delivered.

im going to sleep alreadyyy ! ik its like 2am so you better be asleep rn 😒 although i wouldnt be surprised if you arent. take care of yourself though, amor </3

delivered.

okay i think its safe to assume to you’re asleep rn

delivered.

anyways, goodnight carlos! hope i could call you again,,.. i love uu

delivered.

a little selfie before i sleep so you dream of me <3 (i WILL hunt you mwahaha)

(You sent a photo.)

delivered.

alright love ya!

delivered.

What the hell was I thinking? You shut your eyes, maybe the clingy-sounding messages I sent will go away. Obviously, they did not.

I wonder what he’s doing right now. Maybe Carlos is grounded, or something. Wouldn’t be surprised. Love him to death but God would be laughing if I said he wasn’t a menace.

— — —

“I dropped my phone once, so what? Now I don’t get to talk to the light of my life?” Camilo frowns. “See, it’s stuff like that that makes me want to punch you in the face. Don’t forget you lost a bet! A true man keeps his word.” Carlos rolls his eyes.

“Camilo, don’t say things like that! Say it like this,” Mirabel turns to her cousin with a gentle smile, “I am happy for you and your relationship, but you’ve become a bit more unbearable to be around.”

Carlos sticks his tongue out. “You say that like I don’t know that already? Not my fault you two aren’t in relationships that are as great as mine– let alone the fact you two don’t have a partner at all.” Mirabel and Camilo glare at Carlos.

Dolores approaches the trio. “Keep your phones away from Carlos. If he does, he’ll get another day of not talking to his amor.” She laughs as she pulls out Carlos’s phone. One notification after another. “This is payback, for all the times you’ve made fun of us.”

Isabela nods. Carlos furrows his eyebrows. She wasn’t here a minute ago? “For all the times you’ve yelled out ‘¡Señorita, mi prima piensa que es bonita!’ (Miss, my cousin thinks you’re pretty!) to a pretty woman in public while I’m around.” She crushes a flower that Carlos didn’t even notice she was holding.

“I was right, though. You– almost 100% of the time– do think the person is pretty.” Isabela narrows her eyes at Carlos. “I could’ve told them myself, thank you very much.” Carlos just smiles. “I was doing you a favor, you’re very much welcome. I’m going to go get myself a glass of water now.”

Carlos stands up and turns to Dolores, “Can you at least just let me read some of their messages?” Dolores shakes her head. “Why would you just read their messages and not reply to them? That’s just hurtful.” Carlos shrugs, his sister has a point.

Bzzt. A new notification. Carlos tries to snatch his phone from Dolores, but fails as she passes it to Isabela; then to Mirabel, Camilo, Antonio, Luisa, then back to Dolores. “What did I ever do to you guys?”

Apparently it was a lot, considering they were all in Carlos’s room for more than 30 minutes.

— — —

“Ma, you know Carlos, right?” Your mama nods. “Of course! Your boyfriend! He’s very sweet, how is he?” You smile for a second. My boyfriend. “Ma! He isn’t my boyfriend yet, we’re making it official once we meet up in person. But Carlos has been… inactive. But I’m planning to visit him soon. You know how I’ve always talked about meeting Carlos in person? And how I’ve been a great child to you all and therefore feel like I should have a reward of some sorts?”

Your mama looks at you playfully, “Are you trying to ask me if you can visit Carlos in his house? Do you even know where he lives?” You nod and proudly say, “If he knows where I live, I should know where he lives too.”

“I don’t know what to say to that… but… I’ll accompany you on your way to your boyfriend’s house? When are you going to go?” You shrug. “Maybe today, mama. I’ll ask him first.”

CARLOS MADRIGAL the love of my life my other half my little scrumbo my soon-to-be boyfriend my– [train passes by] HELLO

delivered.

U DONT HAVE TO REPLY TO THIS IMMEIDATELY BTWW

delivered.

immediately* lmao

delivered.

uhhhhh we talked abt meeting up A LOT and tbh i dont know when and where that wld be but AAHHhh i think. i think today is that day. ?????!@?#? at your house ??? if thats okay ?? !

delivered.

“So? Did he say yes?” You shake your head. “He hasn’t seen the message, mama. I’ll let you know if he replies!”

— — —

“Carlos, hijo,” Félix knocks on the door to Carlos and Camilo’s shared room, “Are you busy? I wanted to talk to you about something.” Carlos answers him, “Nope, papa. Come in! Camilo’s out making cup noodles.”

Félix approaches his son. “You talk as if your mellizo is making the same gourmet meals your tia Julieta makes.” The two laugh. “Si, si. My bad! Por cierto (by the way), what did you want to talk about?”

“Ah, I just wanted to ask how things are going with your partner. Y/N, right?” Carlos looks away from his dad. “Great! Haven’t talked to them in a week, though. I lost some bet to mis primas y hermanas.”

Félix takes a deep breath. “Carlos, I say this with love, but why would you let that happen?” Carlos just smiles. “I don’t know..? I kind of forgot why I had a bet with them in the first place.” He gets a light smack on the back of his head.

“¡Lo siento, papá! Originally, the bet was that I don't talk to Y/N for a day but if they catch me texting them with someone else’s phone– say, Camilo’s– I wouldn't talk to them for another day.” Félix laughs at his son. “You let yourself get caught? Hijo, I can’t back you up.”

Carlos just shrugs. “Can’t argue with that.”

Félix softens his voice, so Carlos could be the only one to hear him. “I can, however, help you talk to your amor– in person.” Carlos replies to his father in an equally hushed voice, “Papa, why are you whispering? Also, tell me more.” Félix just shrugs. “I’ll just drive you to their house, surprise them! Your first of many grand romantic gestures in the relationship.”

Carlos grins. “I like that! I’ll get dressed.”

“Be ready in 20 minutes. I’ll talk to your mami.”

Camilo enters and watches as their father walks out of the room with a smile on his face, he turns to Carlos. “What did you two talk about? Why are you going through your closet?”

Carlos scowls at Camilo. “I live here? Also, we just talked about eating out. Father-son bonding.”

“Without me? I doubt that.” Camilo places his cup noodles on a nearby table. Carlos replies, “Well, you’re eating right now.” Camilo shrugs. “I could eat it on the way. Come on, I’ll get ready too.”

“I’m meeting Y/N today.”

“Holy shit. You’re kidding?” Carlos stares at his brother. “Why would I lie?” Camilo grins and walks out of the room, running back to get his food. “Cool. Cool. ¡Felicidades!” He slowly walks out of the room.

“CARLOS MADRIGAL, NO LONGER BITCHLESS! LET’S GO! Hola, abuela y tia…” Carlos breaks out into laughter before picking an outfit to wear. He changes his clothes before looking for his primas and hermana. Can’t go to my soon-to-be-partner’s home without my phone.

“Dolores. Tienes mi teléfono, ¿verdad? (You have my phone, right?)” Dolores nods at Carlos. “Why are you dressed all fancy?” Carlos looks at his outfit, just a maroon T-shirt tucked into black pants. “I’m not? Wait, I guess this is better than my usual outfits–”

“There is nothing different with this outfit.” Mirabel interrupts.

“–Cállate (Shut up.) Papa’s taking me to meet up with Y/N.” Luisa visibly chokes on her drink for a split second. “Is that why Camilo yelled something about you not being ‘bitchless’ anymore?”

Carlos sighs. “Yeah. Where is he, though?” His cousins and sister shrug. “‘Kay.” Félix walks toward them with a smile on his face, he makes eye contact with Carlos and puts his thumbs up.

“Ah, papá está aquí (papa’s here.) Hasta luego, losers.” Mirabel rolls her eyes. “Hope it goes terribly. Tell Y/N I said hello, though!” Carlos flips off Mirabel, quickly putting his middle finger down so he doesn’t get scolded by any of the adults in their home.

“Can I have my phone now?” Dolores whispers to her cousins while Carlos just stands there.

“Carlos! ¡Darse prisa! (Hurry up!)” Carlos yells out to his father, “¡Sí papá! Solo espera un minuto.” (Yes, papa! Just wait one minute.) He approaches them. “Where’s my phone?”

“With Camilo…” Carlos groans. “Okay, gracias.”

— — —

Carlos held his phone tightly on the way to your house. What if you gave him the wrong address? Or you and your family had moved homes but he didn’t know since you two haven’t talked in a week?

Holy shit. You two haven’t talked in a week– did you break up with him? Without even being in a relationship? Could that happen? It probably could. So many things could have possibly gone wrong before Carlos even met you in person. Is this why people don’t like online relationships?

“...Carlos! We’re almost there. Have you texted them yet?” Carlos shakes his head. Apparently in the week that his phone was being passed around his cousins and siblings, it was only charged on the first two days.

— — —

You purse your lips together. You felt like prettying yourself up today. Lord knows why– you don’t– but he does! You look at yourself in the mirror, you look good.

Although this gut feeling that you have to prepare for something won’t go away, so you put together an outfit that you’re pretty sure can be worn inside and outside your house.

“Looking good!” You take out your phone and hope for any new notifications, specifically from one particular Madrigal.

“None.” You sigh. He didn’t even acknowledge any of your messages for the past few days. Maybe it was the end?

heyyy carlos

delivered.

probably not a good start to that lol

delivered.

uhm. is this ur way of saying you dont like me anymore ? hshdjhs i’d be sad if you dont like me anymore obviously but i’d understand. people change ! but u could have just told me straight to the point yk????? didnt have to go ghost me like that lmao

delivered.

god. tbh i’d be an annoying ex so maybe reconsider breaking up with me? jk

delivered.

why cant i unsend messages here fuck!!

delivered.

okay i’ll actually stop spamming you this time 💔 watch me not reply for a week too. PAYBACK!

delivered.

me sending this as if i wouldnt reply to your messages in a heartbeat. dumb bitch behavior!

delivered.

You look at the mirror as if you were in a reality show, and some other person with you did some dumb shit– except you’re the person who did the dumb thing. “I could go for some (favorite beverage) right now. Huh, maybe that’s why I wanted to dress up today.”

“¡Oye, Y/N, hay alguien en la puerta! ¿Puedes conseguirlo? (Hey, Y/N, someone's at the door! Can you get it?)” You answer your dad, “Si, papa! Tell them to wait just a minute!” You grab your wallet and phones, checking it once again for a reply from Carlos.

from: camilo madrigal

Y/N IS HE THERE YET? IS MY LOSER TWIN BROTHER THERE

read.

“Huh?” You make small steps out of your room, eyes glued to your phone.

wdym

read.

what??????? R U ALL PRANKING ME OR SMTH??

read.

NOT NOWW SOMEONES AT THE DOOR

read.

WELL I DONT..?????

read.

DONT LEAVE ME ON SEEN WHY R U AND UR TWIN BROTHER LIKE THISSS 💔💔💔💔

delivered.

just got deja vu 🤗😒

read.

oh hey. BYE opening the door RNN

read.

You roll your eyes as you turn off your phone. What’s got Camilo so excited about? His brother ghosting you? Fun! You open the door, just to get whatever situation that was about to unfold over with.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing got you prepared for who was at the other side of the door.

“Am I dreaming? You don’t talk to me for a week and suddenly you’re at the door of my own home. What the hell? Are you kidding me?”

You didn’t know what to feel; you two have been talking about meeting each other for months and now it’s… real. He’s in front of you.

You finally meet the guy you’ve been talking to for months in person, and you just stand there like a statue.

“Hola… bad time?”

You shake your head. “Absolutely not! Uhm, I was just heading out to buy a drink.”

Ask him why he hasn’t been replying to any of your messages.

“Come in!” You make way for Carlos, who awkwardly walks in. “Pa, Carlos is here.” Your father rolls his eyes. “Not again! I told you, I won’t be weird around your boyfrie– ay, he’s actually here.”

“Papa!”

Carlos smiles at your dad. “Hola, senor.”

The silence is dreadful.

— — —

“I’m glad your papa allowed us to go out.” You shrug as you take a sip of your drink. “Pretty cool, right? Anyways, I have a question! Nothing too serious, although it kind of is…”

You take a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

“Why didn’t you respond to me? For, like, a week? Is everything okay at home?” Carlos cuts you off, laughing, before you spiral any further. “Yeah, everything’s okay. Just lost a bet to my cousins and siblings.”

A bet?! Why am I surprised? He’s always got bad luck when betting with his family.

“Not another bet… what were you all doing?”

Carlos chuckles. “This is a long story, do you want me to summarize it?” You shrug. “Surprise me.”

So that’s what Carlos did. Apparently the Madrigals betted on who could last a day without stealing any of each other’s stuff– the grandkid that’s caught by an adult loses– “It’s a silly thing, I know.”

Carlos got caught stealing one of Camilo’s clothes by his Tia Julieta. Why was he stealing them?

“I was going to make it look like he was sneaking in the kitchen that night, lo cual no es del todo falso (which isn't entirely untrue).”

You start laughing. “Every time you tell me a story about your family, they get wilder and wilder yet they’re all true? Are you sure you’re not lying to me?”

Carlos shakes his head. “No! Sorry if the way I say stuff feels like a lie. But it’s true, I lost a bet and they were all, like, ‘don’t talk to Y/N for a day. If any of us catches you with someone’s phone, another day gets added.’ Apparently there was a limit to that.

“I’m sorry I didn’t reply to any of your messages, I really am.”

You smile at him. “Can’t stay mad at you.” Carlos types something on his phone and you hear a buzz coming from yours.

Carlos replied to your photo: wow you are absolutely stunning

read.

(carlos) icb ur real. insane how god lets angels walk among us

read.

STOP WE’RE LITERALLY RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER

read.

(carlos) i love u

read.

You abruptly close your phone and turn away from Carlos. “I love you too.”

Carlos smiles. “You said the L-word.”

“I know.”

You and Carlos are quiet for a while. It isn’t awkward, it isn’t unbearable. It was cute. Like in coming-of-age movies where the main character and their love interest go on a date as a couple for the first time.

“Do you remember when I asked you to be my partner for the first time?” You nod, “I said I’d give you an answer when we met up in person.” Carlos nods. “Do you have an answer already?”

You nod. “Ah, considering the past week, it’s quite difficult to answer you– who am I kidding? Of course I’ll be your partner!” Carlos lets out a sigh he didn’t even know he was holding. “Thank God! I was worried you’d say no; which is totally okay, it’s your choice! I’d make a good boyfriend, though. Mirabel and I made a powerpoint.”

You raise your eyebrows. “I know you’re my boyfriend already but I need to see that.” Carlos checks his phone. “I think I have the file here, I’m not sure.”

You pull your phone out and open your previous conversation with Camilo. “Right, your brother was asking me if I saw you already and if I did, asked for selfies.”

Carlos reads the conversation. “Okay, we’re definitely taking photos. Don’t send any of them to Cami, though.” You wink at him. “No promises!”

— — —

Carlos looks at his phone. A new message from Camilo.

(c) just saw your photos on y/n’s posts 🤗 u look like shit 🤗 tell y/n i said hi though and congrats to you two stay strong or whatever

go to hell

read.

you are literally the only one to call me bitchless

read.

closing the phone rn GOODBYE.

read.

#carlos madrigal #carlos madrigal x reader #camilo madrigal #yeah that's all

112 notes · View notes

actualbird · 3 years

Note

Oh god!

I really love the poly headcanons they are so sweet.... (or don't but that's part of it and i think the tot boys+MC deserve all the love the world has to give).

But, liking it or not, our 4 beloved boys are kinda complicated (that's what makes them perfect). Plus I never thought about how people get in poly relationships. So i was thinking, how do you think they all get into a polyrelationship together?

(I really have no idea of how that would happen)

hi, two anons!! im glad you guys liked my nxx team polycule stuff!! i'll answer these in one go, my "headcanon" (in quotes because i think this kinda turned into a character analysis/minific of sorts HAHA) being what first anon asked, How They Get Together.

heads up, wc of this is 1.9k words long so buckle up for a bit of a read jfsjdfkjbf

because first anon, youre right!!! the boys are stupendously complicated which i love so so much but canon has also shown us clearly that each of the boys' quirks and habits and tendencies causes a lot of (mostly played for laughs) friction. the bickering, the backhanded insults, the "im the best one here" preening contests. theyre all SOOOO RIDICULOUS and it is hilarious but yep! the boys r complex!! and that means this beautiful ship, imo, has a lot of phases to get to the actual romantic relationship bit.

how they get together, in my opinion, starts because of mc.

not in the sense that she matchmakes them all, but like.

phase 1 of the nxx team polycule is this:

through being in love with her (which we all know the boys 100% are), each of the boys come to terms with their own flaws and weaknesses. it's very apparent to me in all the story thus far that these boys are flawed as hell, it's very compelling but even more compelling to me is how all of them also do intense mental gymnastics to Not Confront Those Flaws. like, marius is a dickbag always teasing and toeing the line of insincerity, vyn is a controlling mf who always tries to sway situations to his benefit, artem is so repressed to the point that he has genuine trouble with emotions, luke is a self sacrificial bastard and also a huge hypocrite about how no, actually, hes the only one that should be hiding his pain and being dishonest, no dishonesty from other people!! in the beginning of the story, all the boys have their flaws and seem to have just kinda...not addressed how those flaws are harming them and the people around them.

and then mc rolls around and they all fall in love with her. and she sees those flaws and she doesnt let them slide. she challenges the boys in her own ways to see another side of the situation, to acknowledge what theyre doing. she doesnt want to get rid of flaws, thats impossible and also not cool. she just has this beautiful hope for like, all of humanity, that goodness can prevail with the right work. so when she sees her beloved nxx boys, she believes that for them as well.

which leads to phase 2 of the nxx team polycule:

the boys, more aware of themselves, become more aware of each other.

they werent Unaware of the others of course. it's just that they didnt like...truly connect on a personal level just yet. they saw the other teammembers with their emotional armor and flaws and saw a wall that wasnt worth looking past.

but after mc makes them realize that hey, flaws arent the end of the world actually, it's alright and the person behind them may just be worth it, the boys like. end up understanding the others. A LOT OF THIS BIT IS UNINTENTIONAL, ON THEIR PARTS KJDSBFS. like they stumble into understanding each other by accident, they didnt plan it, but over the course of nxx investigations, it's inevitable that they end up seeing the depths of the others. i delve into this a little bit in my fanfic "filler eps of the lost gold" where the boys are just going thru their actions and then trip over another boy's fears or desires and through that, gain a deeper understanding mutually.

and with understanding, sometimes, comes trust.

phase 3 of the nxx team polycule goes like this:

everybody in this team, whether they like it or not, whether they know it or not, has a heart that wants to give love so desperately.

marius lives in a world full of snakes so he cant have his heart on his sleeve for his own protection. vyn wants to be seen as perfect and the heart is inherently messy so he holds it back. artem for a very very long time was focused on work and success and achievement that he neglected his heart. and luke has been giving love all his life in a sense but in a way thats hidden.

all these tendencies that are brought upon their life circumstances results in this: they want to love honestly but they havent been able to do this

until mc. and all of them want to push back whatever fears or patterns their life has instilled in them because they see her and see somebody so unwaveringly good that all their hearts begin giving love to her to make her happy and to make themselves happy as well.

but heres the thing. the boys dont just see mc. by this point, they have connected and understood and come to trust each other as well, and the consequence of that is that They Can See Each Other Now Too, Truly.

and heres the thing. all of the boys are unwaveringly good as well.

one by one, each of the boys realize that what they feel for the other boys in the team starts to...change. yeah theyre all friends, they pick on each other a lot of the time, but the bedrock of the relationship is solid and strong now. but when marius is with luke, marius sees a light inside of luke so bright that he seems unaware that he gives off. when artem is with vyn, artem sees a goodness inside of vyn that hesitates to make itself obvious and known because vyn is scared of getting hurt thanks to it. all of them see the other and their goodness and, unbidden, their hearts want to give love to each other as well.

and because theyre all a bit stupid in their own way theyre like, huh, weird! wonder why this feeling is so familiar! and yet i cant seem to name it...and then they all independently compare these feeling with the feelings they have for mc, a feeling they do know the name of, and theyre like.

WAIT.

THESE FEELINGS ARE...VERY BASICALLY EXACTLY WHAT I FEEL FOR MC.

which only means one thing: theyve fallen in love with everybody else

marius: //goes to his studio to Think and sees that a bunch of his recent art actually had little crumbs of these feelings already, etched into the brushstrokes and scenes. has an emotional crisis about it

vyn: //records a 1 hour long entry in his audio diary to examine and gain control of his feelings but by the end of the hour all he knows is that he wants to hold these people and be held by them

artem: //quite literally just bluescreens, artem.exe has stopped working, sits at his study and slowly, slowly, thunks his head down onto his desk, valiantly trying to ignore the fast pulse of his heart

luke: //manically vents about it to peanut who, by virtue of being a bird, doesnt get it. just keeps talking at peanut to get a grasp of it all and then lies down on the floor, overwhelmed

mc, sitting in her apartment watching some netflix: ...why do i inexplicably feel as if something very, very important has just happened?

phase 4 of the nxx team polycule is basically:

pining: extreme difficulty level

because pining is already hard when ur pining for one person. what more for an additional 3 more people. and those additional 3 more people are pining back.

and all these boys are SOOOO OBVIOUS with their romantic feelings, in their own special way. the way they show their affection to mc starts to bleed into their interactions with the others and everybody can CLEARLY SEE WHAT IS GOING ON, LOL, but also all the boys are too chickenshit to confront it, because if they confront it, what will even happen??? being in love with each other, all of them, thats going to be such a complicated fucking relationship, holy shit. it's 2030, yeah, being a polyamorous group relationship isnt completely unheard of, but sue them, theyre scared.

but mc (who i forgot to mention already knows of the boys' romantic feelings for her, shes just hasnt made a move yet on any of them because SHES IN LOVE WITH ALL OF THEM AS WELL and shes been trying to figure out how the hell to make that work, she cant bear to choose just one of them, she'd be heartbroken over leaving the rest of them behind) sees that the nxx investigation team is now all pining for each other FULLY and she kinda wants to laugh when she realizes whats going on because like, what are the chances? that this would happen? that they all found each other and their feelings fell into just the right place for nobody to be left behind?

theyre all scared, she can tell. and she is as well, she wont lie.

but shes always had a belief that goodness can prevail with the right work.

and love is one of the greatest goods out there.

phase 5 of the nxx team polycule:

It's Time For Communication, Baby!!!!!

the exact scenes of how this happens is a bit vague to me. it could go two ways: mc going to each of the boys independently to talk about feelings, hers about everybodys and his about everybodys as well. OR they have a fucking meeting about it all together and artem literally schedules it in his google calendar, or something.

either way, they like, actually talk about this. starts casual, maybe over a chill date, maybe over dinner at a nice restaurant, maybe over a walk in the park as the sun is starting to set. but where ever it happens, the end result is the same: a heart is laid out bare and it is taken in gentle, grateful hands.

marius: OKAY, NOW THAT THE FEELINGS ARE OUT OF THE WAY, CAN I PLEASE KISS ONE OR ALL OF YOU, PLEASE, IVE BEEN WANTING TO KISS U GUYS FOR FOREVER

vyn, laughing fondly: has anybody ever told you patience is a virtue? we quite literally just talked it all out.

marius: //needy whining noises

artem, embarrassed: ive...never kissed anybody before

luke, embarrassed but trying to play it Cool: ....same here

mc: kissing is great, you two will love it!

marius: awesome, awesome, so is ANYBODY going to give me a go ahead or WHAT????

phase 6 of the nxx team polycule:

i dont want to say it's happily ever after, once they all get together. thats not really realistic.

they all have their quirks and tendencies and habits. and those will inevitable clash against each other. theyll have their arguments, theyll get upset, theyll sulk and be angry, sometimes. but also...

theyll see each other smile and feel like their love shining so brightly. theyll reach out for another's hand and be held in such a way that makes them think that their heart is in a safe place. theyll love each other and theyll put in the work to continue loving each other. because goodness will prevail.

and they all see each other as the most good people in the world.

so whatever happens, theyll get through it together.

#tears of themis #vyn richter #marius von hagen #tears of themis rosa #artem wing

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millimononym · 2 years

Text

season 3 is inherently flawed(and a rewrite/how i would fix it)

warning:this post is LONG. like...really REALLY long. it took me so long to write that i think i genuinely lost my mind and patience half way through because of how angry i got so i kept writing more. you have been warned!also feel free to criticize and disagree.i'm not a writer,and i don't know if i articulate my thoughts in the best way,but i tried.

so most of us agree that s3 is def the worst season of Galactik Football, right? The art and animation got worse, the editing was weird, and because the original writers of the series werent involved, the entire season was written like absolute shit: everything goes way too fast or way to slow, the characters are all assasinated or just act like braindead robots who do things for no apparent reason(aka because the plot is incapable of being organic so it needs to FORCE its characters into doing things they would never do if they had 2 braincells...) etc etc. But something i often find brought up as a positive is the concept of the season(NOT the execution) but honestly....im not sure i agree.

the concept of the season is that because of this new tournament, players with any kind of flux are allowed to play in any team! Now this sounds cool on paper...but in execution? not really. and thats not just because s3 is incompetent.

I think this concept doesnt work because it has nothing to do with the snow kids. Theyre the main characters, they should get the focus. Every SK already has the breath of akillian and they care about each other very much,they also work very well together because of this, so they dont have a reason to recruit new people, especially ones with different kinds of flux. Now, theres a solution to this: the dreaded moment where a character(or multiple characters) decide to leave the team to make way for the new character. But theres also a problem with that: people dont like it when you replace beloved characters with new ones(especially ones as bland and uninteresting as Lun-zia). SO the solution to THAT would be to show what that last character was up to after they left,just like before,in the previous seasons. but then that doesnt fix anything AT ALL actually,because the problem of sharing screentime is still there. You see the problem? for every problem solved at least 3 more show up. You cant fix something that wasnt broken,aka the SK team.

the characters that leave the SK are Mei(shadows), Yuki(electras(a team that we never heard of before so theres also that)), and Djok(who joins Paradisia,the most basic,boring rivals and villains this series has ever had. they are actually so bland that the writers made them part robot to justify just how 1 dimensional all their decisions are). The 1 who joins the SK is Lun-zia, a basic,bland character with no personality who only serves as a way for the writers to introduce the 500th boring ass love drama that goes nowhere. wonderful. You would think that after they set up that idea earlier,and with how bland Lun-zia is,that they would at least do something interesting with the concept,right? WRONG. They do absolutely nothing interesting with the mix flux idea in every team. It might as well not have been there.

[The reason why mix flux teams arent allowed in the cup is very simple, everything makes sense because the world pre s3 made sense. A person can join any team they like,as long as they switch to the flux of the team they are joining because they will be representing THAT PLANET. Its also the reason why the pirates dont use flux even though they probably have it: they represent Shiloe, a place with no flux of it own. If they were to use the flux,they would be using a flux that another team already has and is using to represent THEIR planet. (OH and yet another thing about s3 that doesnt make sense , if the pirates can use the flux now, WHY DONT THEY?? jfc every time u think u hit rock bottom this season suprises u with how horribly thought out it is)]

this all isnt even MENTIONING the fact that the tournament was USELESS. actual time wasting for almost the entire season. Because later on, after Paradisia gets fucked, Harris(the ACTUAL villain that HAD setup unlike the generic,out of nowhere, dumbass, out of place oc that is “Lord Phoenix/Magnus Blade”(god thats such a stupid fucking name)) forces the flux society to hold the GFC 3 years early(cuz the cup takes place every 4 years and s3 is set a year after s2) AND THEY DO. so....WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THE TOURNAMENT????!!!

I am actually going insane.this season is so bad. never have i seen such misuse of plot,worldbuilding,characters and setting. You have no idea how long this post is taking to write because as i keep writing i keep finding worse and worse things to say and keep coming to even more horrifying conclusions. its like a never ending pit, full of plot holes and ruined characters.Someone was paid to ruin this series.Let that sink in. But i think i will just give you a rewrite now. A basic fix that whatever lobotomite who wrote s3 couldnt be bothered with. Its very barebones so feel free to add on or tell me if its shit

HOW I WOULD FIX IT:

just drop the mix flux idea entirely. The cup would never allow it and in my universe the tournament wouldnt exist because it had no prior buildup and was completely useless. Instead of wasting time on that,empty romance subplots and annoying unfunny jokes, i would focus on the aspect of people leaving the team to join another that was never fleshed out. Also build up(in s3 Djok and Mei had their arguments basically off screen and the decision to leave was robotic and would absolutely never happen that fast, Also Yukis decision made no sense too and had no build up.)

The season would start with the GFC taking place 3 years early, everyone is confused and frustrated and unprepared. It would be a mystery until its revealed Harris blackmailed the flux society like he did in s3. Under the pressure, Djok would be an asshole which would then cause Mei to leave to join the shadows,albeit more slowly.Perhaps have her be manipulated/persuaded by Sinedd,he did always hang around people at their lowest points (Djok,Rocket).Plus i think Mei would be a lot more comfortable joining the shadows since she got used to coach Artegor in s2 which would help pursuade her. I always felt that the shadows should have gotten more focus for being the main rival team, and now we have a chance for that now that both Mei and Sinedd are there. Have the team interact! Show how Mei is adapting to the team/enviorment/flux. Also Mei and Sinedd dont need to date each other. Mei can be single,dammit.

Mei leaving because of Djok(and also dumping him) would be devestating to Djok as he can never admit to his wrongs. Yuki takes her place, but ultimately decides to leave because of the pressure and stress Djok is putting her in as well(in s2,he was being an asshole to her just for replacing Ahito while he was unwell,can you imagine how he would be if she were replacing his ex girlfirend instead?). Mark ends up taking the defense position and everyone, especially Micro Ice chew out Djok for one last time,telling him to stop being a selfish prick and that hes pushing everyone away(SERIOUSLY WE DONT NEED HIM TO LEARN THAT FOR THE FIFTH TIME). Rocket is the captain again because hes responsible.

We would focus a lot more on Yuki and Mei,as well as everyone dealing with the fact they will have to compete against their friends. Mei would be trying really hard to intergrate with the shadows even though she knows the smog is harmful to someone as emotional as her(maybe have her mom put pressure on her again because shes the defender in a new team which is bad for popularity,as well as Sinedd because hes just Like That.(yes,Mei is staying a defender in this.she has been established to be the best in defense and im not having Fulmugus pushed out of attacker position,hes still an attacker and captain)). Combine the stress of leaving her friends,breaking up with her bf,her mom putting pressure on her and joining a new team, and Mei is an emotional mess which isnt good because of the smog. Eventually she gives up and tells Sinedd (who she has formed a friendship with)as well s the rest of the team that she just cant deal with the smog and that she knows its bad for her,and that shes going back. Sinedd doesnt take this well because of his abandonment issues(i mean cmon...hes been abandoned by p much everyone except the shadows at this point) and basically starts a fight with her in the middle of traning. Sinedd blows up at her,calling her a coward and a quitter(because in his mind,the side effects dont matter,the most important thing is the tournament and he thinks shes using it as an excuse to abandon him) and Mei yells back at him that hes pushed everyone away just like Djok(OOO PARALLELS) which pisses Sinedd off more to the point where both of them are either on the verge of tears,or on the verge of fighting each other. The only thing holding them back is the other shadow players who have basically just been watching them like :0 this entire time. Thats when Artegor asks Mei if she wants to leave and go back to the SK. She says yes but doesnt know how to. Artegor gives her advice based on his own experiences(OOO PARALLELS EXCEPT WITH AARCH AND ARTEGOR THIS TIME). Mei would come back,but Djok is still cold towards her,except he regularly gets chewed out by the other SK for this which makes Mei feel better.

That entire yelling fit that happened with Sinedd would kick off his arc. That plot point in s2 where Artegor is being responsible with the smog and is worried for Sinedds health wouldnt be wasted. S2 didnt have time to show Artegor being a better coach and person to his team but I DO. Have Sinedd confused with how much better he treats them(kind of like in the fanfic “consequences” on ao3) and also kind of upset because he doesnt know how being cared for feels like!! he just thinks artegor has gotten soft and weak because he actually cares about sinedds health now. The shadows are confused too but mostly just concerned with Sinedd instead. Like...”yeah its normal for coaches to look out for ur health...we didnt tell u because we thought you knew and were just cool with Artegors harsh teaching methods”. So OOPS!! Sinedd finds out what having a family feels like and he doesnt know if he likes it !! feeling vulnerable and having people and parental figures care about you? disgusting...hes crying now and it kicked off his personality redemption arc

As for Yuki, i dont know what team she would join,or even if she would join a team at all. She doesnt do well under pressure. I would focus on her feeling like her only role in the team was being a replacement, first for Ahito,then Tia, then Mei. Those kinds of thoughts are a BITCH to deal with alone, so i would have someone in the SK(perhaps Mark,since he knows how it feels) seek her out and reassure her that the team still cares about her even if she left.

MORE THINGS HAPPEN IDK HOW TO CONTINUE

now u might be wondering how im ending this...im genuinely sorry but i have no idea. i havent finished watching s3 yet so i have nothing to work with or compare things to...again im sorry but im not a writer. The entire point of this post is to show i think s3 sucks so hard its actually mind numbing. I spent what feels like hours writing this post and my fingers hurt. Feel free to add on because im so tired i have no more steam left. Just so u know,i could GO ON about why s3 is horrible,i could fill one of those 3 hour youtube essays just with that,but as stated i am SO TIRED. s3 ruined a good show...its characters,worldbuilding,setting, EVERYTHING. And why? because instead of giving this last season to the og writers and ending it deserved, they got some fucking rando who writes worse scripts than i did in kindergarden. They ruined it. There probably should have been a clearer conclusion to this post but WHAT IS THE POINT. We all know s3 sucks ! it just sucks so hard that none of us can quite articulate all of it without our fingers falling off. Again,sorry for not ending this properly but i have lost what feels like all of my patience with s3 inhabiting any space in my mind...and also my fingers hurt

#long post #galactik football #ranting about gf season 3 #i have a feeling i will be using that tag more in the future.

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