#if today's motivation dies out by the time i wake up tomorrow Sorry

[daggery]

i fixed the gifs in this gifset and then made one of them worse oh no

[sofiaaaaaaaa03]

My Heart Is With You Two

Request: Do you think you could do one with an older reader, like 17 or 16, where they have a nightmare and Din comforts them afterwards? maybe like a hunt gone wrong? Like Din dies in the nightmare or something bad happens to him and Grogu?

Summary: Din comforts the reader after they have a nightmare about a hunt going wrong. 

Pairing: Dad! Din Djarin x teen! Gender neutral reader

Warnings: non descriptive mention of wounds and picking of skin. Nothing too descriptive, but still in there :)

Word Count: 1,692

Rating: G

A/N: I had a really fun time writing this, I wanted to try and write this in more of Din’s point of view and explore his thoughts as he navigated through parenting. I hope that was okay! And I really hope you like it!! Sorry if the dialogue is kinda meh, I don’t know how adults talk lmao. Din let alone rarely says a word unless you talk to him lmao. Hopefully I did ok. Please let me know what you guys think <3

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Din sat across from Y/N. The pair sat on the walking ramp of the Razor Crest, taking a brief moment to enjoy the natural habitat of the planet they were currently on. It had been a long day for Din. Bounty hunting was dangerous, sure, but as he played with the bandages wrapped around his knee Din couldn’t help but reminisce the particularly difficult parts of his day. It seemed that other bounty hunters caught of the valuable bounty he was pursuing, so while he was trying to get a hold of the Geonosian he also had to fight off more than he could chew. Y/N threw a fit when he stumbled to the ship bloodied, in need of medicinals and rest. It took him promising that he’d take a day off for them to feel better about his condition.

Din sighed and lifted his helmet a little to take another sip of broth. Hm, it was starting to get cold. 

“Suns are going down.” 

Din hummed. “Seems like it. We’ll need to head inside in a moment.”

Y/N nodded, standing up and dusting their pants. They let her hand out toward Din and collected the bowl from his hand before heading inside. 

Din watched them leave before turning back to take one last look of the view. The forest was a plethora of greens and little critters running about. On his way into the nearest town Din considered taking the next day off so that his foundlings could go out to enjoy the scenery, maybe even swim in a lake he’d passed not too far away. Grogu would have had a field day, terrorizing small critters by chasing them around the grass.

The Mandalorian frowned at the involuntary wince his body experienced. He placed a hand on his knee and tenderly touched the muscle that ached. This was why he knew the kids can’t have a day off tomorrow. Not on this planet, at least. It was too risky. If Din learned anything today it was that the planet was crawling with dangerous beings. Some who may want to seek revenge for the people he’d killed today while on the job. 

He was too deep in thought to realize that Y/N had been watching him. They stood silently against the wall, focusing on the way he held himself. Injured leg raised a little, hands gentle to the touch, rigid movements. He was in pain and didn’t want to show it. But this was all a part of the job. They shuffled in their spot, floorboard creaking underneath them. 

“Y/N, you should go to bed.” 

They shifted their weight, “Are you not coming in?”

“In a moment... I’d like to enjoy the view a little more.”

A lie. He needed another moment to rest, to avoid putting any strain on his leg. One could argue that this behavior of defiance toward his injury was out of pride, but in reality Din didn’t want to worry Y/N. They were 17, sure, they could handle seeing their guardian like this. But he’d rather not let them know about the reality of his state. Besides, another’s day’s rest and he’ll be fine. 

He waited, and didn’t hear Y/N move.

“You should go to bed.” His voice made this sound more like an order rather than a statement. 

Y/N said a quite goodnight and left. Din turned back to the view. He waited until the sky began to turn purple to stand up and launch the ship. The Crest was set to autopilot after reaching a suitable cruising altitude. The clan should be at their destination by the time they wake up. Din stumbled out of the cockpit and made his way to the hull, wordlessly removing the heavy beskar and grabbing new bandages. Replacing bandages were harder to do when the wound is still relatively fresh. Hopefully the next time they’ll need changing the task will be easier. Finished, Din stood up from the box he was perched on and made his way to the cot he and Grogu shared.

 Something soft squished underneath his foot. What was that? Din lifted his foot and chuckled softly. He leaned over to pick up a little frog plush. A smile spread across his lips. The plush was a favorite of Grogu’s, as his sibling made it special after their meeting with the frog lady. Now he carries it around everywhere he can. It even went to the school with the children when they were left there during their time in Nevarro. 

Din walked over to where his son was snoring in his hammock. Maybe he was dreaming of frogs. Din liked to think so, smiling and perched the plush next to Grogu for him to find in the morning. 

A small sniffle made its way to the hull of the ship. 

The Mandalorian turned to the closed cot that sat parallel to theirs, tilting his head curiously. He took a step forward and knocked on the metal surface. 

“Y/N? I thought you’d gone to bed.”

“I uh... got woken up when we took off.” Din didn’t miss the way their voice hitched. He waited a couple seconds.

 “Would you open the door please?”

A pause. Then a beep before the cot’s door opened up and Din came to be face to face with a teary-faced foundling. He froze, taken aback by the sight of the tears that raised questions. Are you hurt? What’s bothering you? You’re not alone, I’m here. But he didn’t say any of that. For once he found himself without words as he took in Y/N’s expression. Their skin was paler than normal. Eyes that were swollen and stained red avoided his gaze, downcast as they picked at the skin on their knee. 

Din tilted his head ever so slightly. Were they… anxious? 

“Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?”

The teenager in front of him didn’t make a move, beginning to shut down.

“Y/N.” He said once more, catching their attention. 

Din slowly knelt down in front of them and placed a hand on their knee 

“You’re going to have to communicate with me, Y/N. I can’t read minds.” He patted their knee reassuringly. “But...take your time. There’s no rush.”

Y/N blinked several times, rubbing their eyes and making Din realize that they were still crying. The sleeping quarters were slowly filling with quiet, ragged breaths of a foundling trying to control their breathing before it got worse. A hand rubbed slowly against their back, belonging to a patient Mandalorian who’d sat next to them and pulled them close, quietly reassuring them that they were in the ship with their clan and that they were safe, that everything was okay. Din found himself mimicking the way that his guardians had comforted him during his childhood. They were the ones who’d watched over him when his parents were no longer able to. Now, he was relying on their hospitality to care for his own foundling. He’d hoped he was doing it right. Y/N deserved a guardian that would provide for them in all aspects. 

When the hull was quiet again Din dared to speak once more, softly so as to not startle the teen in his arms. “Are you ready to talk now?”

“...yeah.” Y/N sighed, pulling their blanket further around them. 

“I had this… dream. It didn’t feel like a dream. It just, you- something happened when you left for a hunt. Something terrible.” Their breath hitched slightly, making Din frown as they continued. “Grogu and I were at the Crest like we always are when you leave when someone comes to the ship… with you.”

Y/N quickly looked at Din through their peripheral vision, averting their eyes when the two’s gaze locked. 

“Did something happen to me?” Y/N nodded, gulping. They sniffed as they quickly rubbed at their eyes again. Din gently pulled their hand away. “Don’t do that. It’s not good for your eyes.”

“S-sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bother you with this.”  

Din took a moment to think of his next words and placed a gentle hand on their chin, making them look at him. “You’re not bothering me, Y/N. I don’t want you to have to feel like you need to bottle this up. It’s my job as your guardian to be there for you-- you can come to me for anything. Do you understand?” 

“Mhm,” They sniffed. 

The Mandalorian took a moment to think once more. It became clear to him that Y/N was more than just worried when he returned home bloodied and worn from battle. They were scared. Scared that one day he would never return. It was hard for him to remember that Y/N knew underneath all of that beskar, he wasn’t invincible. 

“Ever since I’ve come of age I’ve never had anyone worry for my death,” he started, catching their attention. “It’s comforting to know that I have two very important people who do, and they wait for me everyday. Right here.” 

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Y/N chuckled sarcastically. “What if-”

“Let me finish,” Din ruffled their hair, “What I’m saying is that I’ll do everything to go back home to the two of you, my little womp rats. You two motivate me in more ways than you think, little one.”

“Really?” 

“Really. Though I’m not as strong as my beskar, I would fight my way through Chaos if it means coming back to the two of you. Okay?”

“Okay Din. Man, I didn’t know you had such a heart under that armor.” Y/N shoved Din’s shoulder playfully, earning a hearty laugh from the Mandalorian. 

“No, no I don’t.” He shook his head and patted Y/N’s shoulder, beaming proudly at his foundling before averting his eyes to where Grogu was sleeping. Y/N followed his gaze. “It’s out here, with you two.”

[americasass91]

Healing Ransom

Hello beautiful people!! This will be my first (I’m sure of many) submissions for @drabblewithfrannybarnes​ amazing Autumn Challenge! Fall is my favorite time of the year! It’s got beautiful colors! Pumpkin everything! And Halloween? You just can’t beat it! I hope you enjoy this little story. It stars our one and only Mean Sweater Murder Daddy, Ransom!

Verbal Prompts:

“Please don’t be sad for me.”

“Shove it, satan.”

Location/activity prompts:

Walking through a park with leaves

Jumping in/raking leaves

Words: 3.8k

Rating: Explicit(of course it is😋)

Warnings: smut, Ransom being his usual dickish self, slight angst, death of minor character, funerals, sadness, language

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You had only been asleep for about an hour and a half when you were abruptly woken up by a cell phone vibrating loudly.

You open one eye and look towards the nightstand your phone is on. It’s silent. That means it’s his phone.

You smack your fuck buddy on the back of the head. “Ow, Y/N what the actual fuck?”

You turn over and pull the covers higher up on your naked body. “Your phone’s ringing asshole.”

He mumbles something under his breath you don’t quite catch as he reaches for his phone. “It’s Linda. Ugh she’s probably drunk again and calling to tell me how worthless I am. Fuck her.”

He throws the phone down on the bed and gets comfortable. “And why are you still here? You know how I feel about you spending the night.”

You raise your hand and flip him off. “You’re the one that fucked me into submission. I can’t help it that I fell asleep right after. Don’t worry, your highness, I’ll be out of your hair first thing in the morning.”

He’s about to reply when his phone starts vibrating right against your ass. You shriek and sit up and grab the phone.

Before Ransom even comprehends that you have it, you answer.

“Hello, Linda. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Y/N. Can I talk to Ransom please.” She sounds like she’s on the verge of tears.

You hand the phone to Ransom who looks at you incredulously. “Just take it. She sounds upset.”

He just rolls his eyes and snatches the phone from you. “Mother, why in the fuck are you calling me at 3 in the morning?”

You’re not entirely sure what she’s saying but Ransom went from being annoyed to showing no emotion on his face.

“When?...Who found him?...Okay..well, thanks for letting me know.” He hangs up and throws the phone back onto the nightstand.

He’s silent for a few minutes. He looks over at your questioning stare.

“My father died. Heart attack. His maid found him. Guess he’d been there for awhile.”

You immediately go to pull him into a hug. “Oh, Ransom. I’m so sorry.”

He pushes you away. “Please don’t be sad for me. He was a piece of shit who smoked like a chimney and never took care of himself. It was just a matter of time before something liked this happened.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “But he was your dad, Ransom. It’s okay to be sad about it.” You reach out and place a hand on his shoulder.

He grabs your hand and yanks you onto his lap. “I’m not sad. I don’t actually feel anything. It’s not like we had any kind of a relationship. Now how about since we’re both awake we go for round 5?”

You just roll your eyes and let him take your body to euphoria once more.

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That following Saturday you wake up to the sight of beautiful changing leaves. God you love Fall. It was the best time of the year in your opinion. Pumpkin everything? Yes please! Halloween? Oh, fuck yeah! Your favorite holiday.

You decide you can’t let this beauty go to waste. You throw back the covers and quickly dress in some leggings and a burgundy sweater you’re pretty sure belongs to Ransom.

You can’t help but admire all the beautiful Fall colors as you begin your walk. You don’t even need music right now. You feel so at peace during this particular morning. All the beautiful colors. The slight chill in the air. The smell of cider someone is selling from a cart up the way. You’re definitely going to have to get some of that.

You spot a pile of leaves on your way to the cart and you have the strongest urge to run and jump in them. You stop walking and look around. You’re alone. Fuck it.

You take off and giggle like a little girl again as you launch yourself at the pile of leaves. You lose yourself in them. Forgetting everything for a moment and just enjoying the freeing feeling. You’re enjoying it so much you almost miss your phone vibrating in your pocket.

You sit up and fish it out to see who’s interrupting your childlike moment. Ransom. You roll your eyes. The only time he calls you is when he wants sex. You’re just going to have to tell him you’re too busy at the moment.

You answer and put the phone to your ear as you lay back amongst the leaves. “Ransom, I cannot come over for some fuckery right now. I’m in my happy place.”

“Y/N. Hey. That’s not why I’m calling. Linda just called to let me know the funeral is tomorrow. I was wondering if you’d go with me?”

He doesn’t sound like himself. Sad almost. “Sure, Ran. Of course I’ll be there. Just let me know what time.”

“Visitation is from 2-4. The funeral starts right after. Then of course we’ll go bury him. Sorry your whole day will be full. I know how much you love your weekends.”

You shake your head and wave your hand in the air as if he can see it. “Ransom, don’t worry about that. This is more important. And besides, Monday is Columbus Day so I have an extra day off.”

“So that means you’ll be able to spend the night with me tomorrow night?”

You feel butterflies in your stomach. He’s never asked you to spend the night.

“Well, sure if that’s what you want.”

“Thanks, I’ll need to fuck all of my frustrations out from being around my family all day.”

Ah, there’s the ulterior motive. You feel your heart sink a little. “Yeah, sure. How about I’ll just come to your place tomorrow around 1 and we can head over to the funeral together?”

“Sure, sure. Look I have to go. I have to try to get this chapter written today. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, of course. Good luck with the chapter.”

“Oh and Y/N? Have fun playing in the leaves.”

With that he hangs up. You look around to make sure he’s nowhere around. How did he know you were in a pile of leaves?

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You head into the funeral with Ransom at around 1:45. Despite everything you can’t help but notice he looks handsome in his dark blue suit.

“God I hate funerals.” He says as he gazes around the room. He spots Linda.

“Well, who likes them?” You ask him as she approaches.

She throws her arms around Ransom’s neck. He reluctantly returns the hug.

“Oh, Ransom! I just can’t believe he’s gone.”

Ransom just rolls his eyes as he looks at you. He mouths ‘Help me’

You put your hand on Linda’s back. “Oh, Linda. I’m so sorry he’s gone.”

She lets go of Ransom and turns towards you. “Thank you dear. Even though he wasn’t my husband anymore I still loved him. A part of me always will.”

You glance over at Ransom who’s trying to avoid Walt that just walked in. You can’t help but know how she feels about loving someone like that. You love Ransom no matter what the 2 of you are. You think you always will.

You nod your head. “Of course you will. He was a big part of your life. And he’s Ransom's dad. He’ll always have a special place in your heart.”

She pulls you in for a hug. When she pulls back she cups your cheek. “I’m well aware that you’re too good for my son. But please don’t leave him. He can’t do any better than you.”

With that she heads over to greet more people filing in. You stand there shocked at her words. Linda has never been unpleasant towards you but that was the nicest damn thing she’s ever said to you.

You spot Ransom leaning against the opposite wall as far away from the other people as he can get.

You head over and stop in front of him with your arms crossed. “Ransom, aren’t you supposed to be talking to your family? Letting people give their condolences.”

“Fuck these people, Y/N. None of them gave a shit about Richard. I bet half of the women in this room fucked him at one point.”

You look around wide eyed to see if anyone was paying attention to you. Luckily they weren’t. “Jesus, Ransom be quiet! This is a funeral. And unlike you, some people are here to grieve!”

“Whatever, Y/N! You’re such a bitch. You didn’t like him either! You always called him a creep! So don’t stand there and act live you give a shit that he’s dead!”

Your mouth drops open. God he’s such an asshole! “You know what, fuck you Ransom! I do give a shit! Just because I thought he was a creep doesn’t mean I wanted him to die! I understand you’re grieving right now but that doesn’t give you the right to treat me like shit. Maybe you should find somebody else to fuck out your frustrations on!”

By now the whole room is looking at you 2. You didn’t mean to be so loud but god dammit did he piss you off.

“You know what, Y/N? Maybe I will! Fuck off!”

He pushes away from the wall and stomps towards the door. “SHOVE IT, SATAN!” You can’t help but yell after him. You then take a look around the room and see everyone staring at you. “Sorry about that.” You quickly leave the room and head towards the kitchen area. You hear footsteps behind you. You turn around and see Meg following you.

“Y/N? Are you okay? God he is such a piece of shit.” She pulls you in for a hug,

You return it gratefully. “Thanks but I’m just worried about Linda. She’s already upset and I am certainly not making things any easier.”

She scoffs as she pulls away from you. “Oh, please! She was chuckling when you called him satan. Said it was an accurate name for him.”

You smile at her feeling relieved. “That’s good then. How are you holding up?”

She returns your smile. “I’m okay. Uncle Richard and I didn’t have a close relationship but I’ll still miss our debates we had.”

You nod in understanding. “I guess I should go find satan.”

Before you have a chance to leave the kitchen, Ransom comes in. He comes over and pulls you in for a hug. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I just don’t want to be here and I’m sick of these people pretending to grieve when I know they don’t care and I took my anger out on you. You were nice enough to be here with me today, you don’t deserve how I treated you.”

Your heart skips a beat. He never apologizes for anything. You pull away from the hug and cup his cheek. “It’s okay. Apology accepted. You get a free pass today. Now how about we head back in?”

He grabs your wrist and places a kiss on your palm. “Okay, will you stay by me?”

You pull him in for a quick peck. “Of course, I’m not going anywhere.”

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The funeral was tastefully done. Ransom refused to ride over in the limo with the rest of the family. He said he wanted to drive over with you.

You pull into the cemetery and get out of the car. You look around for the gravesite. You don’t see one. “Ran, where’s the gravesite?”

Ransom just chuckles and points at the hill. “On the top of the hill. He wanted to be buried in the most expensive spot.”

You look down at your black pumps and then over at the slightly muddy hill. Well this should be fun.

Ransom sees your hesitation. “There’s a brick pathway. Your shoes are safe.”

You sigh in relief. Thank god. You follow the crowd that has now gathered toward the path. Ransom follows in step beside you. He grabs your hand and laces your fingers together. You feel those stupid butterflies in your stomach again.

You can’t help but admire the beautiful fall foliage. It puts a smile on your face despite the sad day.

Ransom rolls his eyes playfully at you. “You and your Fall.”

“It’s beautiful, Ransom! How can you not love it?”

You’re too busy looking at all the leaves to notice him staring at you. “Yeah, it is beautiful.”

You reach the gravesite and stand with Ransom near the front. He still hasn’t let go of your hand. If anything he’s holding onto it tighter.

You can’t help but let some tears fall as the minister says some more beautiful words. You chance a glance at Ransom and you see him wipe a single tear from his face. That makes you give his hand a reaffirming squeeze.

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Ransom wasn’t lying when he said he was going to fuck out his frustrations on you. He took you right against the wall as soon as you walked into his house. Then again on the island in the kitchen. And again on the stairs. (You’re sure to have bruises from that escapade). Finally finishing in his bed. You passed out almost right after the last one.

You woke up around 2 am with the urge to pee. You look over and see Ransom’s side of the bed empty. He must be downstairs rehydrating after all that fucking. You decide to quickly pee and then head down to find him.

He’s not in the kitchen like you thought. You’re about to go check his study to see if he’s up writing when you see a light on in the living room. You head in and see him sitting on the couch. His back is to you so he hasn’t realized you’re in the room yet. There’s something sitting on his coffee table. You move forward quietly trying not to disturb him in case he wants to be alone.

When you get close enough you see that it’s a framed picture of him and his dad. Ransom can’t be older than 16. They have their arms around each other’s shoulders. His prized Beemer is in the background with a big red bow on top.

That’s when you hear the sniffling. You quickly round the couch and see that Ransom is clutching a pillow and sobbing into it. You take a seat next to him. You put a comforting hand on his back and rub it up and down in a soothing manner.

He looks up at you, tears covering his cheeks. “You know I think this is the only picture I have of me and my dad. I think he was happier than me that day. He was so proud to pass his car down to me.”

You just smile sadly and pull him in for a hug. He throws the pillow away and pulls you into his lap so that you’re straddling him. You gently wipe away his tears with your thumbs. “I can’t believe he’s gone. I never even knew him, Y/N. And now I’m never gonna get the chance to.” He buries his face into the crook of your neck and tightens his arms around your waist. He starts sobbing again.

You rub one hand up and down his back and run your other through his hair. “Shhh, Ransom. I know you’re hurting. I’m so sorry you lost him.”

“I fucking hate this, Y/N! I hate feeling like this. So helpless. And he fucking died alone. That’s gonna be me. I don’t want to die alone.” He looks up at you so innocently. So heartbroken.

You grab his face with both hands. “Hugh Ransom Drysdale, you’re not going to die alone. If you’re that afraid of it then change your ways.”

He lowers his eyes towards his hands that are resting on your hips. “I just hate feeling this way. I didn’t even know him. Why am I so fucking sad?” He looks back up at you.

“Because you didn’t know him and you’re regretting that. It’s too late to do anything about it now. Unfortunately you’re just going to have to deal with it and grieve. Doesn’t mean you can’t change your other relationships though. So you don’t feel like this ever again.”

He grabs the back of your neck and pulls you in just enough until your lips are touching. “It hurts so much, Y/N. Please help me forget. Even for just a little bit. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.” He pulls you in for a fierce kiss, enough to take your breath away.

After you gain back some control you push against his chest. “Ransom, I don’t think this is the best way-”

“Please,Y/N? Please take the pain away.”

Your heart breaks. You look him in the eye and nod your head. He pulls you back in for another heated kiss. If this was the only way you could take away his pain, even if temporary, you’ll give it to him.

You put your hands in his hair and give it a tug making him groan. One of his hands moves to your ass, making you grind against his growing erection. The other remains on the back of your neck, not letting you break the kiss. He needs you close right now.

He pulls back from the kiss. “Need you, baby. Please.”

You quickly stand up to remove your pajama shorts and panties while he lowers his sweats just enough to free himself. You straddle him again and stroke his length up and down a few times, smearing his pre-cum all over. You guide him to your entrance and sink down on him. “Fuck, Ransom. Always feels so good.”

You give yourself a few minutes to adjust once your hips are flush against his. He settles his hands on your waist while yours rest on his shoulders. You lean in for a kiss before you start moving up and down on him. Moving at the hard and fast pace you know he always prefers.

“Wait, baby, slow down.” He grips your hips to stop your movements. You look at him confused. He always likes it hard and fast. He tightens his hold on your hips and starts grinding you on him. “Just need to feel you, Y/N. Can we slow down?”

Your heart flutters. “Of course.” You take over and start grinding against him. Keeping a slow rhythm. You throw your head back and moan. God he feels amazing. You can feel every part of him like this. Usually he’s going so fast you don’t get to appreciate the feeling of him dragging along your walls like this. This isn’t about reaching orgasm. This is intimacy. This is about feelings.

He buries his face into the crook of your neck. “You feel so good, baby. You take me so well. Like you were made for me. Made to fit me. My beautiful Y/N.”

You can feel tears well up in your eyes. You know this might not feel the same for him but it’s making you fall even more in love with him than what you already were.

You're not going to last long. Not only are your emotions getting the best of you but your clit is rubbing deliciously against his pelvis. He can feel you fluttering on his cock.

He pulls back and looks at you. “Gonna come for me pretty girl? I can feel you. You’re squeezing me so good. Let go, Y/N. I’m right behind you.”

You fall apart at his words. His name is a whisper on your lips. He buries his face back into the crook of your neck as he meets his end with a groan. Filling you up with everything he has.

You both stay like that for a minute. Just holding each other like you were afraid the other would disappear. He pulls back and looks at you again. He tucks a piece of hair behind your ear and smiles softly at you. “I love you, Y/N. God I love you so fucking much.”

You feel tears fall down your face. “I love you too, Ransom. Always have and always will. I won’t let you die alone.”

He pulls you in for another kiss. “No more of this fuck buddy stuff. I’m in this for real. For the long haul. I can’t feel like this ever again. I can live with how I feel about my dad. But you? I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least try.”

“We’re talking about a relationship here Ransom. The exact thing you always said you didn’t want. What if it doesn’t work out? What if you change your mind?”

“It will work out, I’ll make sure it does. I won’t be changing my mind. You’re it for me.  But if for some reason you decide I’m not what you want, then at least I can say I tried. I’m willing to regret you for the rest of my life.”

You melt at his words. This is all you’ve ever wanted. For him to love you. Why the fuck were you questioning it?

You lean back in for another kiss. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

You lean in for another kiss. “Okay. But I’m exhausted. Can you take me to bed now?”

He chuckles and stands you both up. “Come on, pretty girl. Let’s get you to bed.”

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

You wake up the next morning with the biggest smile on your face. Not only did Ransom confess his love for you last night but it was the most beautiful Fall day outside. You wondered if you could convince him to go for a walk with you.

The smell of coffee hits your nose and you quickly throw back the covers to head downstairs. As you turn to head into the kitchen you find Ransom. He’s dialing a number on his phone. His back is to you.

Curious, you stay behind for a minute to see who he’s calling.

“Hello, Mom? Hi. How are you?...Good….Yeah she’s here, she’s upstairs sleeping. I know, I’m not gonna let her go. Hey listen I was wondering if you wanted to grab lunch with me today, just us?”

You can’t help the big smile that spreads across your face. Maybe Ransom was changing after all.

All Cevans characters taglist: @stargazingfangirl18​

[amarimaryllis]

I Never Writ, Nor No Man Ever Loved (Ushijima x Reader)

Pairing: Ushijima/Reader

Prompt/Summary: Shakespeare wasn’t wrong, you’re just afraid of admitting the truth. Alternatively, Ushijima Wakatoshi’s first love never died.

Tags: Angst, Haikyuu Timeskip Spoilers

Note: I used she/her pronouns for the reader, You might wanna reread the ending of “All The World Drops Dead”, I gave Ushijima’s mom a name, Ushijima’s a rich boi, Bold Italicized sentences are excerpts from the poem “Sonnet 116” by William Shakespeare

Warnings: Swearing, Heavy read, Author doesn’t know how off-seasons work, Mentions of separation

Part of A Sensitivity to Ephemera

Ushijima Wakatoshi was your antithesis, in a sense, and somewhere in the sky, Cupid laughs.

Way to go for putting the most incompatible people ever, am I right?

You found beauty in the temperance of words. Enjoyed their sheer ability to paint a hundred stories with only strokes and letters. Words meant everything and nothing all at once, and snippets of different stories appeared with each changing context. Ushijima, on the other hand, found beauty in the directness of words. Observed in the brutal honesty that constantly leaves his lips. He preferred to have it all laid bare, no hidden meaning, no ulterior motive. What you see is what you get.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love—

It was with words that you two ever even met, back in your first year at Shiratorizawa. Ushijima was not the best at literature, or any subject aside from Physical Education, and you were the panacea that the concerned teachers had offered as a remedy for the ace. It was a rocky start, but eventually, the relationship had grown into something more.

A literary genius and an athletic prodigy.

A master of language and her stumbling apprentice.

And eventually, a poet and her muse.

You never thought it would work out, but somehow, it did. And you were thankful that it did because you wouldn’t be where you are today. Standing in front of a large window overlooking the city, reminiscing on the events that led you to your present reality.

—Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove.

Ushijima comes up from behind you and grips your hips with his large hands before he presses a tender kiss on your nape. “What’s on your mind?”

You smile as you turn around in his grasp to wrap your arms around his neck. “Nothing much.”

Ushijima raises a brow as he moves his hands from your hips to your waist. “By nothing, I’m guessing you mean anything and everything.”

You grin as the two of you begin to sway to the silence. Dancing to nothing but the sound of your breaths and the noise from the city below. “You know me too well.”

“You haven’t changed a bit.” Ushijima smiles as he pulls you in for a kiss.

You smile into the kiss, wrapping your arms tighter around Ushijima’s neck to pull him closer to you. The telltale signs of lovesickness had been set in motion in your body once more: warming cheeks, speeding heartbeats, and crashing lips.

As you find yourself pulled deeper into Ushijima’s embrace, you wish for the world to freeze this moment. Unmoving. Unchanging. Immortalized in your memory and for the rest of your waking reality.

A few days after your engagement with Ushijima, you found yourself in the place where it all started. Shiratorizawa had not changed at all since you left. Sure, the notices hung on the wall, the faces that roamed the rooms, and the shape of the shrubbery had changed, but everything else was the same as you remember it.

You shut your eyes, take a deep breath, and it’s almost as if you’re transported back to 2012. A year of loss, victory, stagnancy, and change. So many had happened, and it all rushed past you in the blink of an eye.

“Love—“

“Yes!” You stand up straight from the bench, eyes wide open in an attempt to pull away from your little flashback. “Yes, hi. Sorry, Toshi, I was… Lost in thought. Are you done talking to Washijo-sensei?”

“Yes.” Ushijima chuckles softly as he flicks your forehead lightly. “You should be more observant of your surroundings. What if it wasn’t me who found you?”

“But you did, didn’t you?” You grin up at him only to see him looking ahead.

You turn around and your eyes land upon a familiar sight.

Warmth floods your cheeks and Ushijima laughs as he wraps his arms around your waist, resting his chin atop your head. “I remember Tendou catching us there.”

You smile fondly at the memory as you look at the tree beside the volleyball gym. “Not my fault you kissed me all of a sudden.”

“Not my fault you look absolutely irresistible.” Ushijima’s warm breath tickles you as he leans down to whisper against the shell of your ear, placing a quick kiss before he lays his chin back onto the top of your head.

O no! It is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

Ushijima Kimiko’s eyes were burning holes into your skull. It was clear from the moment you had stepped into the house that you were not welcome. That you were not the one she wanted for her son.

There’s bitterness in the way she looks, the way she acts, and the way she speaks. She’s eloquent, so well-spoken that you wouldn’t have noticed the insinuation of each backhanded compliment she threw your way. Her son seemed to be oblivious to the silent war of undertones and context buried underneath your exchange of seemingly harmless words. It had gone on for the entirety of dinner, his mother unforgiving and you unrelenting. If she thought her disapproval would send you running, then she was sorely mistaken.

After dinner, Ushijima leads you to his room. A place you had not acquainted yourself with because this was the first time Ushijima had brought you into his home. Your lover sits on the bed, watching you while you familiarize yourself with the setting.

“So this is where you grew up.” You smile to yourself, choosing to bury the events that transpired earlier into the darkest corners of your mind in hopes that it would be consumed into the void. “Nice room.”

Your eyes trace over every inch of the room, taking in what you can to better understand the man that you were soon going to marry. It’s plain, nothing revealing anything personal save for the pictures lined up and hung on the wall.

There were many different faces. A young girl, a few boys, some familiar, some unknown. There were also pictures of some teenagers, particularly the members of the Shiratorizawa Volleyball Club.

“Is something bothering you, love?” Ushijima asks from his bed where he’s currently seated. “You haven’t been talking much since dinner.”

You froze on the spot, having an internal debate on whether or not you should voice your concerns.

“Come here.” Ushijima beckons you to come closer and you do. You stand between his legs, placing your hands on his broad shoulders as you continue to look at the pictures behind him. Ushijima reaches for your hand on his shoulder, intertwining your hands there as he plays with the ring on your finger. “Something’s wrong.”

“Toshi…” You sigh, giving in. “I don’t think your mom likes me very much.”

It’s Ushijima’s turn to tense up. “My mom doesn’t like anyone.”

“Yeah well… I think she hates me.” You fiddle with Ushijima’s collar. “God, I hope not. I really wanted her to like me too…”

“In time.” Ushijima smiles as he pulls at your hand to make you cup his cheek. “But for now, let’s talk about it at home.”

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.

Ushijima sits alone on the couch, waiting for you to come back. You had left after a heated exchange, unable to stand being in the same room as him, it seems. A few weeks had passed since your visit to his childhood home, and things in your relationship have been somewhat rocky since then. While Ushijima wanted his family to accept you, he knew that their disapproval wouldn’t stop him from pursuing a life with you. You were the person who stood by his side when nobody else was there. The world would have to end before he let you go.

But you didn’t understand that. You were still stuck in the events that transpired at the dinner table while Ushijima was already walking towards your future. He knew he shouldn’t have invalidated your concern simply because he could stomach going against his mother. He just wanted this argument to end, he had an Olympic game tomorrow, and he didn’t want to walk in there with a heavy heart that would most definitely affect his performance.

The ringing of the doorbell pulls Ushijima from his thoughts. He stands up and walks towards the door to answer it, wondering who it could be since he did not remember inviting anyone.

When he opens the door, it is not noticeable, but there is shock written on his face. “Sato-san, what brings you here?”

“Ah, Waka-kun! Your mom told me I’d be able to find you here.” Sato pushes a paper bag into Ushijima’s hands, her eyes disappearing into lines as she gives him a bright smile. “I just got back from Cali, and I wanted to give you your souvenir and some ingredients from Kimiko-san…”

“Ah, thank you.” Ushijima gives a soft smile as he grips the paper bag tighter in his arms. He knew that his mother was in the area, visiting so that she could watch her son’s game tomorrow. “Would you like to come in for some coffee?”

“Ah no! It’s fine.” Sato waves her hands, smiling as she turns the offer down. “I have to go meet up with a friend.”

“Ok then.” Ushijima nods. “It was nice seeing you again.”

“Same here.” Sato moves to walk off. “I’ll be off then.”

Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

With his bending sickle’s compass come...

When you come back home, Ushijima is quick to pull you into his arms. A string of apologies falls from his lips, weaving their way into your hearts as you melt into your fiancé’s embrace. The walk had cleared your mind enough, and you knew that Ushijima had a point. If he was willing to brave it out despite his mother’s disapproval, then you would do so as well.

After all had been said, and the issue was closed, you both retired for the night. Ushijima lays on his side of the bed, and you on yours. You turn to your side and are met by Ushijima’s broad back. Scooching closer, you wrap your arms around him, press a kiss onto his nape, and mumble, “I love you.”

You wait a few seconds for a reply, but you are met with silence. You sighed and wrapped your arms tighter around him, nuzzling your face between his shoulder blades. He was probably asleep.

Ushijima was wide awake. Memories of a young girl with bright eyes and rosy cheeks running through his mind. And as he loses himself to vivid images of the past, sleep never laid itself upon his eyes that night.

The next day, you make Hayashi rice from the ingredients that his friend had delivered, and you wish him luck.

Apparently, that luck wasn’t enough because the Japan team had lost to Argentina that day, and as much as you wanted to comfort Ushijima, his mother had gotten to him first and was now talking to him inside the stadium.

You waited outside of the venue, sitting on the steps that led up to the doors that opened to the realm of competition and Olympic athletes. You could only wait it out, not wanting to bother your fiancé and his mother in fear that the latter might attack your very being once more.

The sound of footsteps comes closer, and you turn around quickly in hopes to see your lover, but you are met with the sight of their trainer instead.

“Oh, Iwaizumi-san!” You stand up to bow. You notice the red at the corners of his eyes as if he had been crying. You don’t ask. It was normal to be upset after a loss. “You guys fought well, Iwaizumi-san.”

Iwaizumi smiles but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He moves to sit beside you on the steps, and you follow suit. “Hey, L/N-san…”

“Hm?” You reply with a hum. While Iwaizumi and you were not close, you two were still familiar enough with each other to carry a casual conversation. “What is it?”

“You’re a writer.” Iwaizumi states, but there is hesitance in his tone.

You can’t help but snort. “No shit.”

Iwaizumi glares at you, and you suppress a laugh. “Ok, I’ll stop, but yeah, I am. Why?”

“That means you’re good at the poetic symbolism shit right?” Iwaizumi asks for confirmation and you resist the urge to laugh at his choice of words.

“I like to think that I am good at the—“ You use your hands to show air quotes, “—poetic symbolism shit as you said.”

“Does first love never really die?” Iwaizumi asks and you nearly choke on air.

Iwaizumi is looking at you expectantly, and you look like a deer caught in the headlights. Out of all the things that could happen in your life, talking to Iwaizumi Hajime about his love life was not something you even thought of ever happening. Not even a single bit. It’s silent, and you realize that Iwaizumi is waiting for a reply.

You pause to think, not wanting to give Iwaizumi a half-assed answer that could make whatever he was going through worse. It seemed like Iwaizumi was more hung up over this than he was over the game they just lost, and while you don’t know the full story, you realize its gravity. “It’s something people like to say… Haven’t quite understood it because I’ve never felt it…”

You smile sadly. It seems like Iwaizumi wasn’t given the similar luxury of living out the rest of his life with his first love. “First love never dies, but true love will bury it alive.”

“And what if your first love is your true love?” Iwaizumi asks, his fists clenching as he looks down at the steps.

“Then you’ll spend the rest of your life mourning a lifetime that was never meant to be yours.” You sigh as you pat Iwaizumi in the back. “You never really know if it’s true love, Iwaizumi-san. Tomorrow promises nothing, after all. The only time you’ll ever truly know is when you’re a breath away from death and reliving your entire life.”

“Fucking hell.” Iwaizumi mumbles to himself. “Love is hard.”

“It is.” You smile. “But whatever the situation, Iwa-san… Don’t deprive yourself of the opportunity to move on, yeah? It’s kind of like volleyball.”

Iwaizumi turns to look at you. “How so?”

“Well, when you get blocked during games, do you stop spiking for the rest of the game?” You raise a brow.

It’s silent until suddenly, it’s not. Iwaizumi is laughing. He’s standing up, and he pulls you up before enveloping you in a hug. “You genius, I hate that you have a point.”

You reach around to pat his back, happy that your words somehow enlightened him. You knew that this enlightenment was brief and that somewhere along the way, Iwaizumi would be tempted to give up, but you were glad to have at least given him a way out. “As I said, I’m good at the poetic symbolism shit.”

A cough interrupts your little hug session with Iwaizumi, leading to the both of you pulling away and turning to the source of the noise.

It seems like the universe just loved screwing you over because standing at the top of the steps were three people: two familiar faces, and one that was teetering between remembrance and oblivion.

Ushijima Kimiko looked smugly angry. Her son looked confused, tinges of betrayal creeping into his eyes. The young woman beside them on the other hand looked absolutely livid as her eyes flitted between you and Iwaizumi.

“How scandalous.” You could hear Ushijima Kimiko whisper to her son. “Are you sure this is the woman you want to marry?”

You pretend you don’t hear it, forcing a smile and a bow. “It’s nice to see you again, Ushijima-san.”

Iwaizumi on the other hand does not let the comment pass. “There’s nothing scandalous about the situation, Ushijima-san. I simply asked my friend for advice and showed my appreciation. She loves your son too much to ever even think of looking at other people.”

You notice how the stances of Ushijima and the young woman relax.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Ushijima Kimiko’s smile is tightly lipped.

The drive to Ushijima’s penthouse was silent and absolutely tense. Ushijima’s knuckles were practically white with how tightly he was gripping the steering wheel. You can see the creases between his brows deepening as he clenches his jaw in both frustration and concentration.

“Who was the girl from a while ago? She looked familiar.” It was a seemingly harmless question on your end. You didn’t want to talk about the game because they did lose. You didn’t want to bring up his mother because that would be another argument. You didn’t want to talk about Iwaizumi because you figured that maybe the hug you shared was the reason for his frustration. So you decided to settle with the one thing in that situation that had no heavy feelings attached.

Well, you were sorely mistaken.

Ushijima tenses up before he relaxes. “She’s my childhood friend. She used to be my closest friend until middle school.”

“Ah.” You nod to yourself. “Cool.”

“She means nothing to me now, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Ushijima quickly added.

“Ooooh, did little Toshi have a crush on her?” You tease, trying to use this opportunity to lighten the mood.

Ushijima tenses up before a fond smile makes its way to his face for the first time since this morning. “She was there for me throughout my childhood. She helped me get through my parent’s separation.”

You didn’t know why, but you finally realized why she looked familiar. It was minimal, very minimal… But there was a large similarity between her facial and body structure and yours. And as you realize this, the conversation you had with Iwaizumi echoes disturbingly through your head.

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

Although they had been given a month-long break after the game, Ushijima was still out most of the time. Some part of you was bitter over the fact that your fiancé chose to spend more time spiking balls and playing with his teammates (that he already plays with on a regular basis), but you don’t pressure him to stay. If that made him happy, then you were happy with it as well. But still, some part of you wishes that he would just stay in with you and cuddle while you type your next piece on the laptop.

Later that night, Ushijima comes home with his arm slung around Kageyama who looked like he had just walked through hell and back. There’s a dopey grin on his face as he reaches out for you and crashes his body against yours. The smell of alcohol fills your nostrils, and you scrunch your nose up in disgust.

“Please take care of Ushijima-san.” The setter bows lightly before straightening up.

“Thank you for bringing him home.” You smile at Kageyama who blushes a deep red.

“I’ll take my leave.” Kageyama bows and walks off.

You shut the door once you see that Kageyama has made it to the elevator.

“You’re so pretty…” Ushijima’s grin is wide as he cups your cheeks. Nuzzling his nose against yours before peppering kisses all over your face. “Can’t believe you’re here…”

Ushijima presses you against the door and leans down to capture your mouth into his. He presses against you, grabbing at your wrists to wrap your arms around his neck as he pushes his mouth harder against yours. There’s desperation in the way he digs his fingers into your hips as he lifts you and pulls at your legs to wrap it around his waist.

“I love you so much…” Ushijima whispers between kisses as he nips at your neck. “Don’t ever leave me again… Fuck.”

Ushijima’s hand creeps under your shirt, trailing on your skin while his other hand supports you against the door. As good as it felt to be finally receiving attention from your lover, you grab at his wrist to stop him. “Toshi, you’re drunk. Let’s go to bed first, yeah?”

“What happened to Waka-kun?” There’s a pout on Ushijima’s face, and you would find it endearing if you weren’t confused by the words that left his mouth.

Choosing to chalk it up to his drunken stupor, you just smile, unwrap your legs from his waist and bring him to bed. “You need to sleep.”

Once you two were settled in bed, Ushijima nuzzled himself into your neck as he wrapped his arms around you from behind, positioning himself to prepare for sleep.

His breath tickles your neck as he mumbles, “Don’t ever leave me, please.”

“I won’t.” You smile as you sink deeper into his embrace. “I love you too much to do that.”

“You love me?” Ushijima was a talkative, sappy kind of drunk, it seems. “Really?”

“Very much.” You mumble as you intertwine your fingers with his.

“You’ll stay with me forever, right?” Ushijima’s voice is weak, almost as if he was afraid of what your answer could be.

“Of course.” You answer without a second thought.

You can feel Ushijima kiss your neck before his breathing starts to slow. It’s a whisper, the way he says it, lips brushing as he lightly mouths the words into your skin, but you hear it clear as day.

“I love you, Fuyumi-chan…”

If this be error and upon me prov’d,

You stare blankly at the Instagram profile on your laptop screen, your hands on the table as you focus all your emotions into clenching them as tight as possible. The apartment is quiet, but the noise in your head is a different story. Voices, faces, and emotions flood your brain, each wave stronger than the last as it threatens to drown you into the void of your head. You briefly wonder where it all went wrong.

When Ushijima decided to get drunk? No, it wasn’t.

When Iwaizumi hugged you after their loss at the Olympics? No… It wasn’t that either.

Maybe when you had visited Ushijima’s childhood home? No. Although it seemed like it went downhill from there… It wasn’t that.

It all went wrong the moment you allowed yourself to fall in love with Ushijima Wakatoshi.

“Good morning.” Ushijima smiles as he sits across from you on the floor on the other side of the coffee table.

You force a smile. “Slept well?”

Ushijima freezes for a split second before recovering. “Had a good dream.”

“Good for you.” You don’t know how much longer you can pretend like your relationship wasn’t falling apart. “About the wedding—“

“We’re having it in 2 months right?” Ushijima interrupts you, and for some reason, it looks like he’s trying to avoid something. “I’m still on vacation, so I’ll be able to help you and the coordinator plan it—“

“Let’s call it off.” You interrupt with a smile.

“Do you want to move it to a later date?” Ushijima furrows his brows as he reaches over, grabbing your left hand, his heart sinking when his thumb brushes over skin instead of silver on your finger. “Where’s your ring?”

“Wakatoshi,” You start with a smile, your voice as steady as it could be while a war rages in your head, “I don’t want to get married anymore.”

For someone who understood words best when they were said directly, Ushijima Wakatoshi was having a lot of trouble understanding you right now.

Ushijima’s frown deepens, but he continues to speak casually. “That’s fine. We don’t have to be married to love each other, right? That’s just a formal ceremony—“

“I’m leaving, Wakatoshi.” You attempt to pull your hand away from his grasp, but Ushijima holds it tighter.

There are tears in his eyes as he looks at you, and you’re almost tempted to stay. Ushijima crying was not a common sight. You had only seen it happen once in the entirety of your relationship, and your heart breaks at that thought.

“When will you come back?” His voice is desperate as he looks into your eyes, searching for any sign indicating that you’ll stay. He finds none.

You can only smile. “I’m sorry.”

You stand up and shut your laptop, walking off to your room to pack your things. You didn’t want to make this harder than it had to be. You didn’t want to see him cry, and you didn’t want him to see you cry. If this was love then it seems that Shakespeare was wrong, or maybe what you have isn’t love. But if it isn’t love, then why did every single step away from Ushijima’s crying figure feel heavier and more painful than the last? Why did you yearn for him despite the stabbing in your chest?

When Ushijima hears the door of your shared bedroom close, he opens your laptop, wondering if he’ll find an answer there.

And he did.

Sato Fuyumi’s unmoving face stares back at him, a smile etched onto her face as the sun shines brightly behind her. At that moment, Ushijima understood. Last night was no dream, it seems, but he had blurred the lines between fantasy and reality and that led to the inevitable decay of whatever it was that you two had. With that, Ushijima stood up and walked to your shared room, one last time.

“I’m sorry.” Ushijima states from the doorway. He expected you to be packing your things, but he didn’t expect that seeing it would hurt this much. It was almost as if you were ripping his chest open with each clothing you pulled from your shared cabinet.

“I know.” You whisper, unable to trust your voice.

There’s silence as Ushijima sits beside you on the floor.

“Toshi...” The name feels heavy in your mouth as you speak. “Did you—“

A sob somehow manages to break free, and now you were crying.

Ushijima pulls you into his chest, guilt and despair filling his chest as he feels you sob and shake in his hold. He wishes he could make it all go away, but how could he when he was the reason you’re this way in the first place?

“Please tell me the truth…” You grip at his shirt, your forehead pressed onto his collarbone as you let the tears fall one after the other. “Did you… Did you ever love me?”

Ushijima answers with no hesitation. “I did.”

You cry harder into his chest as you mourn the lifetime that could’ve been yours. Images of a distant life fill your head: a home in the countryside, a young boy, a young girl, a loving husband. You allow yourself to bask in the illusion for a second before you pull yourself away. You were afraid that if you had stayed any longer, you’d never be able to walk away.

“We can make it work, Y/N.” Ushijima pleads one last time. “This is just something we have to work through. We’ll get past this and then we’ll live the rest of our lives together. We’ll go to the countryside when I retire, raise our kids there—“

You cut him off. “Stop.”

“You could write from there. It’s peaceful, no one will disturb—“

You cry harder into his chest, gripping tighter at his shirt. “Stop please, just stop already—“

“We can still make it work, Y/N. Just stay—“

“Just stop!” You pull away, daring to look into Ushijima’s eyes. “It’s never going to work. We would be living a lie if I agreed to all of that. It’s clear that you’re still in love with her, and you always will be!”

Ushijima’s shoulders slump down in defeat, and he lets you cry it all in front of him.

“And what if your first love is your true love?” Iwaizumi asks, his fists clenching as he looks down at the steps.

“Then you’ll spend the rest of your life mourning a lifetime that was never meant to be yours.”

Your own words haunt you.

I never writ, nor no man ever lov’d.

You realize it now, looking back.

Years of denying the poet only for you to agree with him in the end. It took you 3 years, but now, you were ready to admit that Shakespeare was right in all he said about love. Everything around you was just pointing in a different direction, you just didn’t realize it when you were still in the middle of it all.

It was a mess you no longer wanted to revisit, but you brave through it for your friend.

You watch the love of your life mourn a lifetime that could’ve been his.

Ushijima Wakatoshi watches as the love of his life goes down the aisle.

Sato Fuyumi smiles as she sees the love of her life waiting at the end of it.

Iwaizumi Hajime looks ahead one last time as the love of his life sits somewhere in the crowd.

And somewhere in the sky, Cupid laughs.

A/N: I feel like this should be classified under “Angst/No One Gets A Happy Ending”. Also, I finally gave Iwa some closure AHHHHH I hope you guys liked this one! Feel free to drop my by ask, I’m always up for a discussion, after all. 💖

[coloredgirlfan-fiction01]

The warm morning sunshine was the first thing you felt as you woke from your sleep. The bright light stung your rested eyes but with a few blinks it was manageable.

Looking over at your bedside table, the digital clock read seven sixteen. You had wanted to set the alarm to wake up earlier, but Michael always complained that the sound it made was annoying and gave him headaches.

So you had to learn to wake up early so Michael could get his beauty sleep, not that he really needed it.

Said blonde was still fast asleep on his back, arms on each side of his head and soft pink lips slightly parted as he took shallow breaths. His long eyelashes fluttering ever so gently on his cheeks as he dreamed, something good you hoped.

He was dressed in the red silk pajama suit you picked out for him last night, the first three buttons of the top undone which exposed the smooth skin of his chest.

He was so beautiful, unlike most men he was soft and loved to be taken cared of. There was nothing anyone could say or do that could make you any less in love with him, and he loved you just as much.

You protected him and never judged him for the way he was like those in his past had. They were so focused on what he was and what he was destined to do, that they never stopped to ask him who he really was outside of his father's dark shadow.

As you watched him sleep a fond smile crept across your lips, you leaned over the blonde and gently kissed the top of his exposed chest.

"Michael, it's time to wake up." You whispered placing another kiss just above the previous one.

You felt him stir and let out a soft groan as you began to kiss his neck.

"Five more minutes." You chuckled at how childish his whine was.

"Come on puppy, it's time to get up." You watched as his eyes fluttered open, ocean eyes seemed to almost glow as the sunlight hit them.

"Morning.." He greeted with a smile. You reached out you brush a few strands away from his face, enjoying the smoothness of his skin and the happiness in his eyes.

"Did you sleep well?"

"I dreamt about you. We were at the bottom of a clear blue ocean. I was lying on your lap, you were humming a song and running your fingers through my hair as I fell asleep. It was beautiful, peaceful."

He always had such strange dreams. Sometimes he had nightmares that were so vivid even you got chills whenever he'd talk about them, but you always loved the ones he got that made him smile in the morning.

"Your too cute for your own good sometimes you know that?" You kissed him and got out of bed to stretch your arms above your head to rid your body of any excess tiredness.

The grey T-shirt you wore to bed lifted as you did, exposing your upper thighs and ass which Michael gawked when he sat up. He couldn't help but think how sexy you looked wearing his shirt and nothing else.

Your skin always had a sort of glow when the sun washed over you. Every curve, your hips, your breasts, your long legs, your natural hair that framed your face made you look like a goddess in his eyes.

He'd never thought that after everything that went went in his life, all the blood and bad choices that he would find redemption and safety in the shape of you.

You were the first person to treat him like an actual human being with feelings and emotions instead of just the antichrist that was destined to destroy the world and remake it in his father's image. That part of him died the moment he gave himself to you.

"Are you going to stare at me all day, or are you gonna' get up and get ready pup?" Blush dusted his cheeks and he averted his eyes to stop from staring. He got out of bed and helped fixed the bedding before joining you in the shower.

After that you guided him downstairs to the kitchen and began to make a healthy breakfast for the both of you, while Michael sat at the counter and watched you.

French toast, eggs, sausages and a pot of freshly made lemongrass tea was on the menu and you took pride in the fact that you only took twenty minutes to make everything.

"So what do you want to do today pup?" You asked serving him his share. Since you didn't have to go into work on Saturdays, you always let Michael choose how you'd spend the day together. You owned your own business and it took up alot of your time, so you dedicated a day just for Michael since he hardly gets to have you for himself.

"I was thinking we could go to the park today, the weather's nice maybe we can have a picnic?"

"That sound like a g-" The loud ringing of your cellphone cut off the conversation and drew you away from the kitchen counter to retrieve your phone from upstairs.

Apparently one of your employees made an error at work and they needed your help to fix it before it caused problems for the software. You inquired about the error and thanked the heavens it wasn't something that you needed to leave home for.

"Michael I'm going to be in my office for a few minutes, finish your breakfast and watch some TV until I'm done OK?" You called out and got an 'alright' as his answer.

About an hour has passed and Michael was getting bored of watching TV. They were showing some low budget show about vampires and he was in no mood to sit through it.

What was taking you so long? You had said a few minutes and it's been an entire hour and you haven't left your home office.

He hardly gets to spend any quality quality time with you and now your work was getting in the way of his day. He wasn't happy.

Deciding he's waited enough, Michael clicked off the TV and marched up the stairs to the see what was taking you so long. He decided not to knock and just barged in ready to demand your attention but stopped himself as he saw you typing furiously on your laptop and talking sternly at whoever was on the phone.

"There is absolutely nothing you can give me as an excuse right now, this could completely crash the servers and we can loose Gigabytes of data because of this."

You always looked so fierce when you were pissed off about something. Your usually calm and collected demeanor was replaced by one of dominance and authority that always made his knees weak. Just the sound of you scolding your employee made him hard and made him want your attention even more.

He closed the door behind him and walks over to you, fully determined to get what he wanted despite knowing he wasn't allowed to disturb you during work.

"Y/n are you almost done, you promised that we'd spend time together today." He whined kneeling beside your chair. His big blue eyes looked up at you but you didn't even give his a side glance.

"Today is my day with you they get you every other day, can't you handle this later?" You shot him a serious glare that shut him up but it didn't deter him from his mission. Being ignored was one thing, but you brushing him off for your work on his day was the last straw.

You didn't question him when he crawled on the floor to get under your desk. You didn't even question when he spread your legs apart to make room for himself in the tight space.

What did get your attention was the sharp tug of your panties that made them snap when he tugged them with his finger. The pull was so strong it pulled you along with it.

He could be such a brat when he couldn't get what he wanted. You didn't mind it but your work couldn't wait.

You could tell he was getting impatient as you hardly reacted to his desperate acts for attention. The way his teeth nipped at your inner thighs and the wetness his tongue left in it's wake as he licked your folds with vigor.

You'd be lying if you weren't getting turned on by his efforts.

If there's one thing that Michael excelled at was pleasing you to the best of his abilities.

It took all of your will power not to moan into your phone as his tongue slipped into you, his hands wrapped around your hips to pull your lower half flush against his mouth.

"You do know there will be consequences for this, don't you?" You said into the phone while grabbing a fist full of Michael's hair, making sure that he knew she was talking to him too.

Absolute chills ripped through you as he moaned loudly against your sex. His hot breath against your dripping sex was euphoric and you could help but grind your hips into him to get more.

"Listen to me, today is my day off and I have business at the moment to take care of. I'll deal with you and your mistake tomorrow." You ended the call and threw the phone on the desktop.

You pulled away from Michael and yanked him by his hair to get out of the tight space.

"You can be a real brat sometimes you know that?"

"You were gone for so long, and I-"

"You know the rules about coming in here don't you?"

"I know. I- I'm sorry."

You sighed and gestured to him to get out from under the table and to lay down on the floor. You followed after him and took the position of straddling his hips.

He looked so adorable beneath you, eyes full of anticipation for whatever you were going to do to him at that moment, you almost felt sorry for him.

"How do you think you should be punished puppy?"

Usually you would spank him or put him on time out for disobeying you, but he was right. Today was his day and you broke your promise.

"How about I do something we'll both enjoy, but at the same time you get your punishment. And if you're good we'll get ready to go on that picnic right after, sound fair?" You asked, which he immediately agreed to.

You slowly began to ride on top of Michael, his semi erection perfectly positioned against your sex making the friction delicious between the two of you.

The hairs on your neck stood up as a wave of chills ran across your skin when Michael let out a desperate moan as you felt him grow harder under you. His brilliant blue eyes glazed over in desperation and pleasure that motivated you to move faster.

"Y/n, I.. I want more..~" He panted, gripping your waist and meeting your humping with vigor.

"I know you do puppy, but this is all you're gonna get."

[firemblem-fics]

Hubert Hubert Hubert Hugh- Reader is trying to learn magic and she’s the only one who Hubert can bear to help and he slowly gets soft inside and I jshaka

sorry dis kinda bad

magician's apprentice. | hubert

“Please?”

“No.”

“Pretty please?”

“No.”

“Pretty please with a cherry on top?”

Hubert sighed, using his fingers to press up against the bridge of his nose. “Do tell, (Y/N), why do you want to learn magic so badly?”

“Because!” You replied, “I’m already good with white magic- healing and all that shit, but I wanna learn some dark magic too. You know, to get the hang of it all.”

“There’s got to be some ulterior motive.”

“There isn’t,” You laughed, trying to not be suspicious. “I genuinely just want to fight better.”

“Fine,” Hubert replied, “Meet me in the library tomorrow before breakfast.” 

Your eyes widened, “Before breakfast? That’s so early-”

“Do you want to learn or not? I am not taking time out of my regular schedule just to teach someone like you. Lady Edelgard needs my assistance.” He huffed.

“No, no,” You waved your hands frantically, “Before breakfast in the library, I’ll be there.”

You turned away and your smile faded a little. Yeah, you wanted to learn dark magic, but you really wanted to get closer to Hubert. Something about his unavailable nature just intrigued you. You wanted to get to know him and eventually, your interest blossomed into a small crush. But was it really worth waking up so early for? Yes, it was. 

--- --- ---

No, it wasn’t. 

You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes as you trudged to the library, the sky still dark out the windows. Your head hurt slightly from forcing yourself awake, but you couldn’t back out after the first day. What would Hubert think of you then? 

Rounding the corner into the library, you spotted Hubert already sitting at one of the tables. He had a pile of books surrounding him and he was immersed in one of them, not noticing you standing in the doorway. You started to walk quietly forward, careful not to startle him. Finally, his eyes lifted from the book to look over at you. 

“You look messy.”

“Gee, thanks.” You rolled your eyes, pulling out a seat beside him. “It’s totally not like I only got like 3 hours of sleep.”

“That’s ridiculous.” He replied, “Whatever reason you had for staying up so late is invalid. Sleep is needed to get stronger.”

You only nodded, yawning. “So, what do we got for day one?”

“You’ll be reading up on the tomes, first. No magic until you know the logistics.”

“Ugh, fine.”

Days went by and every day, before breakfast, you got up early and began studying with Hubert. He’d scold you about your sleeping habits every day, telling you that you would get sick or injured if you didn’t take better care of yourself. You paid no mind to it, though, instead turning the tables back on him. He was getting up just as early as you were, he would be worried about his own health as well. On the fifth day of lessons, you just couldn’t keep your eyes open any longer. Your head nodded down for the fifth time in the span of 30 minutes, your eyelids heavy. 

Hubert looked up from his own book, ready to give you more instruction, but instead he found you slumped over, your head quite literally buried in a textbook. He shook his head, feeling a small smile creep onto his face. You were a hard worker, and you were really serious about learning this magic, but he hated how you were neglecting your sleep. He knew that you had been staying up late studying and practicing on your own in order to improve more outside of his teachings. It was cute, really, how serious you were about learning. 

Plus, you had been working for five days nonstop. He wouldn’t think so with anyone else, but Hubert believed that you deserved a little bit of rest. Stable magic comes with a stable mind, 

after all. You wouldn’t be able to do much if you were sleep deprived. 

Hubert placed a bookmark in his book and closed it, standing up and picking you out of the library chair. He cradled you close to his chest, trying to ignore the small swarm of butterflies that erupted in his stomach. 

Swallow them, Hubert. He thought. There was no time for feelings right now. But, seeing you in his arms, sleeping peacefully, he couldn’t help but long for a time when a war wasn’t a threat. He walked you back to your room, bashfully fantasizing about a happy future where he was serving Lady Edelgard in the day and came back to you, his wife, for the evenings. 

As Hubert shifted you in his arms to open your door, you suddenly awoke. You looked around, trying to regain your bearings before looking up and making eye contact with Hubert. He looked into your eyes as well and you noticed a certain softness that had never been there before. The two of you continued to stare for a bit until you decided to break the silence. 

“So, uh, I’m sorry for falling asleep during our lesson.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Hubert responded, “You deserve it, I believe. You’ve been working very hard lately.”

You laughed, “I could do more. I just want to be better.”

Hubert carried you into your room and laid you on your bed. “You’re doing wonderful, but you also need to take care of yourself. Sleep for a few more hours, I’ll tell Lady Edelgard that you weren’t feeling well and I’ll have Caspar bring you breakfast.”

You flushed a little, not used to seeing Hubert treat anyone so nicely. “That’s not necessary-”

“It is. You are going to rest today.”

“Oh, okay,” You grabbed Hubert’s hand, pressing a small kiss to the top of it. “Thank you, Hubert.”

“Don’t- don’t mention it.” He pulled his hand away to stroke your hair for a second before turning and leaving.

[blankblankityblank]

Just, don’t wake up

Hi everyone! This is my fic for the @starkerkink exchange, dedicated to @vaguekiwi! I really hope you enjoy it :)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Tony Stark

High school AU, with superpowers.

Tony’s home life has never been amazing, but one night, it’s just too much for him. He flies blindly to the first destination he can think of in his battered suit, holding his breath when he realises exactly who’s house he’s flown to. He doubts this evening will be normal, especially when he realises there’s only one bed.

Warnings: Masturbation, Flogging, Name-calling, Restraints, slightly dub-con, both 17. Check ao3 for further warnings!

Read on ao3!

Tony arrived late to class, as usual. Peter sighed, the usual thought flitting through his head: How does he always manage to arrive late, even with a full body suit that flies?

The teacher for their class, AP Bio, glanced at Tony unimpressed but unsurprised-this was a regular occurrence, and it showed.

Tony waltzed to his seat with the usual I-really-don’t-give-a-shit attitude, plonking down and prompt executing a yawn. Peter rolled his eyes; did he always have that look on his hot face? How did he even get into AP Bio when he didn’t even pay attention? Oh yeah, that’s right-Howard Stark’s son, prodigy at 4, bla bla bla. Peter needed a break from the constant ‘Tony Stark made his own suit’ fawning that half the girls, and guys, constantly exhibited. Like yeah, big deal-was anyone gonna talk about Peter’s amazing skills to do with web fluid? Or crafting his own suits, which, well, didn’t always go particularly well?

“And today, we will be taking a bit of an off-topic turn into some neurobiology! Chemicals and hormones produced by the brain!” The teacher sang, trying to mask her own boredom with the unresponsive class, “who can tell me what the four main hormones to do with happiness contain?”

Peter shot his hand up, excited that he for once knew the answer to the question before smart-ass Tony.

“The four main chemicals are endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, often abbreviated as D.O.S.E,” Peter stated. Tony slowly turned around in his chair, and glared at him. Peter just smirked. ‘One day,’ he mouthed at the growingly frustrated classmate.

“Very good! Can someone tell me what each of these hormones’ functions are?” Their teacher again asked. Peter’s hand shot up for the second time, his mouth forming a smirk in sync.

--------------------------------

“Well well well, if it isn’t smart-ass Parker in a sticky situation?” Tony purred, his smooth voice richoeing off of the poorly-designed science lab. Peter sighed, closing his eyes in preparation before facing the problem.

“Does it look like I don’t know what I’m doing? Wouldn’t wanna steal your thunder now, would I?” He snarked back, trying to stir his web fluid in peace. The teacher had allowed his class 15 minutes of time to work on their various powers, any tweaks or fixes being attended to. Tony had apparently finished oiling up his suit, but Peter had no such privilege.

Tony flicked the back of Peter’s head as he strutted away, going over to talk to Steve and Bucky. Goddamned overpowered mutants. Ok, so maybe Peter was a tiny bit jealous of their friendship, but that was his business.

He dispensed the web fluid with a sigh, getting ready to pack up and head back to his apartment, and hopefully blow off some steam with a Star Wars movie night. He smiled softly to himself; maybe the day wouldn’t be so bad after all. He could chill with may, have some hot chocolate, quote every line of Empire Strikes Back because he totally doesn’t know it word for word.

The bell rang, immediately followed by a cacophony of bags zipping, several whirring sounds as various students fired up their ride home. Peter ducked his head down, knowing his power wasn’t as rich or powerful as his classmates’ privileged ones. And they didn’t even know it, how lucky they were. They’d never know what it’s like to be born with stickiness and a general strength upgrade. No super-advanced knowledge of tech, engineering, how to fly, being able to fly...everything that separated him from the rest of his peers.

Peter swung his backpack over his shoulder, cursing as his AP Bio textbook dropped onto the ground, setting off a too-loud thump on the concrete floor. A few heads swivelled in his direction, and Peter flushed as he hurriedly picked the offending book up, and returned it to its rightful place. Face still hot, he all but rushed out of the classroom, eager to change into his suit and get this day over with.

“Hey! Parker! Wait up, for fuck’s sake. You dropped two books, not one, you blind-ass bat,” Tony hollered, his feet slapping against the linoleum. Peter grabbed the exercise book from Tony’s offering hand, not dignifying the teen with a response. Ok, so maybe it was a bit harsh. But he had to stay ice-cold around Tony; if it got out Parker had a crush, it would not go down well. At. All.

“You’re not even gonna say thanks?” Tony spluttered in disbelief, hand still outstretched.

“Nope,” Peter replied, popping the ‘p’.

“Pretty sure I deserve some recognition, I could have just left that book on the floor for some other snotty-nosed kid to find,” Tony said indignantly, hand returned to his side.

“Well then don’t do it next time. I don’t give a shit, Stark,” Peter fired back, attempting to quell his progressingly noticeable butterflies.

Tony opened his mouth in a retort, but instead opted for an eye roll and spun on his heel. Probably to get back to his fancy 5 star penthouse, Peter thought bitterly. He headed to the bathrooms, diligently fighting his instinct to catch a glance of that ass. God, he was so, so gone.

-------------------------

Peter entered his apartment silently, not wanting to disturb May. He kicked off his shoes, deflating his suit and carrying the rest of his belongings to his room. Or, his cave, as May liked to call it. The 16 year old dungeon was another favourite of hers.

“May? ‘M home..” He trailed off when the bright Post-it note caught his eye. He frowned, peeling it off the bench and reading the bubbly handwriting. ‘Picked up an extra shift, be home tomorrow at 7! Sorry I couldn’t make it tonight kiddo xx’ Well. He could kiss his plans of venting to may goodbye, it seemed. Hot chocolate and a movie night still lifted his hopes, albeit less enthusiastic with no one to share it with now. The teen hummed the Star Wars theme song as he boiled the water and got his hot chocolate ready. He finished his task from earlier, dumping his stuff in an impossibly messy room that cleaning seemed impossible. There were things he didn’t want to uncover by doing so.

The TV flickered to life, selecting the chosen movie as directed by Peter. He sipped on his hot chocolate, swearing softly when the liquid burnt his tongue. It’d probably need to cool, considering the loss of feeling in his taste buds. The TV screen suddenly paused the movie, indicating the buffering icon as the infuriatingly slow loading bar popped up.

“For fucks’ sake…” Peter muttered, deciding to take a quick shower to pass the time. He didn’t bother getting clothes, seeing as he was the only one home. He padded to the bathroom, turning the shower on and watching as the water slowly began to produce steam. He then stripped, chucking his clothes into the overflowing hamper and stepping into the soothing water. He let it wash over him, adjusting himself to the temperature as he scrubbed himself with vanilla soap, the day’s events flicking hazily through his mind.

The teen looked down, noticing his growing hard-on. Maybe his thoughts about Tony had taken a...darker turn. He palmed himself half-heartedly, almost jolting when the spark of arousal ran through his body. He groaned softly to himself, putting more energy into pumping his hard on. His precum provided lubricant, his hand going up and down faster and faster until he was right on the edge and it felt so good, and-

Peter pulled his hand off, letting his erect cock bob helplessly in the air. He was breathing hard, not having reached his orgasm. It just...it didn’t feel right. He rubbed soap on his body again, his dick slowly returning to it’s normal size.

The shower came to a close after 15 minutes of staring at the wall, he may or may not have been thinking about a certain black head of hair, brown eyes flecked with gold, the body of a Greek god...maybe he lost track of time, but it was time well spent in Peter’s opinion. He towelled himself off with less energy, suddenly losing the motivation to actually dry himself off-probably because all his brain power was used trying to figure out a certain someone’s personality.

He plopped onto his nest of blankets and pillows, smiling when he saw the movie was ready to watch again. He hit play, content with the world at last.

That is, until some fucking idiot banged, not knocked, banged, on Peter’s door. He resolutely ignored it, turning the volume of the TV to max. Until, the banging didn’t stop. It just kept going. And going. And going-

“This better be a real good fucking reason,” Peter snarled, pausing his movie with more force than he probably needed to, and he stomped to the door.

The assault on the door didn’t stop, even when Peter yelled ‘Coming!’ to try and ease the banging. It did not succeed. He swung open the door, fuming, the epitome of annoyance as expressed on his face. He was ready to give this newcomer a piece of his mind, what, interrupting his fucking movie night, the audacity-

The words died in his throat as he looked up to launch a deadly glare, only to be met with chocolate brown eyes, flecked with gold, a soft pink cupid’s bow, the presence of stubble beginning to form a goatee, and oh wait, he’s seen this before, wait a minute-

“Tony?” He spluttered, taking a step back as he took in the scene before him. Tony, in a banged up suit he probably used as his transportation, his hand poised to bang at the door again. Tony’s expression mirrored Peter’s, a mixture of shock and confusion. Unlike Peter’s, Tony’s cleared quickly, and formed a new expression-one of almost desperation.

“Look, Parker, I’m sorry alright? I just...I need somewhere to stay tonight,” he rubbed a hand over his face, “forget it. I knew it was stupid to come, sorry for wasting your time I guess,” he muttered, already pivoting on his heel. Without his conscious consent, Peter grabbed Tony’s arm as he turned away. They both froze, neither knowing what Peter did.

“Wait, I...you can stay, Tony. You can come in, I just was watching Empire Strikes Back,” Peter ranted, gently tugging Tony inside. The latter seemed to be in a state of shock, obviously not expecting the positive response.

“Empire Strikes Back? You would be watching that, of all movies,” Tony snarked, recovering quickly from his bout of shock.

“You’re the guest, at least try to be nice,” Peter countered, blushing at the tips of his ears from embarrassment. He huffed, flopping onto his comfortable collection of pillows. He raised an eyebrow meaningfully at Tony, who looked a little out of place with his scratched suit. Peter was curious, but didn’t pry-there was obviously something that caused Tony to come in so suddenly.

“Being nice? To Parker? Talk to me when you have an achievable goal,” Tony grumbled, walking around to tour Peter’s apartment. Peter hoped it would be up to his standards. Wait, no he didn’t, Tony’s standards didn’t matter to him. At all.

Peter resumed his movie, soon becoming engrossed in the iconic plotline that he’d seen hundreds of times before, yet it never failed to make him excited. Tony watched his classmate from the shadows, the smile on Peter’s face contagious. His auburn curls, sharp jawline...Picture perfect Tony mused, as the lights from the movie danced across Peter’s angelic features. Tony shook his head, afraid of getting caught in the act-someone that beautiful would never return his feelings.

The depressing thought prompted Tony to emerge from the shadows, gliding over to where Peter was laying down and slumped nearby, resigning himself to the fact he’d have to watch this nerd movie. His suit whirred in the corner, fixing its own malfunctions as Tony had programmed it to.

“I don’t even know what the fuck is going on, Parker,” Tony muttered, the movie’s plot confusing him due to the lack of knowledge in previous films.

Peter just smiled, deciding it would take too long to explain the plot. Tony saw this, and a small smile spread across his face, too. It was nice to have a friend that just accepted you into their home, even if you had no explanation. Well, he couldn’t really tell the boy his explanation. Home was...a bit hard to go to at the moment, not that he’d ever tell Parker. He glanced at the serene expression on Peter’s face again, taking in the pure joy as he watched his seemingly favourite movie. Yeah, he was not gonna spoil that expression. Not ever.

--------------------------------

The movie’s credits rolled, signifying the end of the movie night. Tony softly blew out through his nose, wondering if it would be overstepping to stay the night. Before he could dig a hole of despair within himself, Peter noticed his obvious inner battle. Deciding to put the rivalry behind him for now, he reached out to Tony, gently touching his arm and effectively grabbing his attention.

“We should head to bed...if you’re ok with that,” Peter murmured, gently tugging Tony’s arm as he stood up.

Tony sucked in a breath at sparks of pleasure that rippled through him as Peter’s hand lingered. He got to his feet, following Peter through the apartment, taking in the few decorations and pictures. He paused at an old picture of an obviously much younger picture of Peter, sitting on a man’s shoulders. He looked so...well, happy. Tony frowned; what had happened? Not wanting to intrude, he tucked the question away for later, and hurried to catch up with Peter.

“So, this is it. The humble abode, I guess,” Peter chuckled nervously, giving a dramatic wave with his hands. Tony looked around, taking in the worn twin bed, well-read books mounted on shelves that looked as if they could fall at any minute, the stained dresser, obviously the victim of many late-night hot chocolate spills. Tony could feel a slight smile tugging at his lips-this felt like Peter.

“Humble, huh. Didn’t know you were a Potter fan,” Tony smirked, gesturing at the aforementioned books. A red blush tinted the teen’s cheeks as he rushed to defend himself.

“I’ll have you know Harry Potter is a very famous series, thank you very much,” he huffed, crossing his arms. The following silence was comfortable, Peter rifling through his dresser as he looked for his pyjamas. He succeeded, muttering a soft ‘aha’ at the victory, and turned to head to the bathroom.

“Get yourself comfy, you can sleep wherever, couch or bed,” Peter stated, trying not to blush for a third time in an hour. He made quick work of changing, exiting the bathroom once he was satisfied with his appearance. A new toothbrush smacked Tony in the back of the head, credits of Peter.

“The fuck, Parker? Why couldn’t you just ask me to turn around,” Tony muttered, grabbing the toothbrush and making his way to the meager bathroom. He cleaned his teeth, checked his face for any signs of, well, outstanding blemishes, and once satisfied, returned to the bedroom. Peter was already in the bed, having turned off the lights and receiving a wave of sleepiness that he couldn’t refuse.

Tony hesitated before quietly sliding in beside Peter, careful not to touch him in hopes of keeping him comfortable. After all, this was Peter’s bed. He shifted, finding the proximity a little too...exciting.

Peter stirred, muttering something incomprohensive that sounded suspiciously like ‘Stop fucking moving,’ which Tony grudgingly obeyed. He found himself drifting sooner than he usually did; maybe it was the company that finally got his eyes to close, who knows. It just felt good to be cared about.

--------------------------

“Fuck, harder Tony,” Peter cried out, relishing the feeling of the flogger on his burnt ass, “please. Please Tony, ah!”

Tony whipped mercilessly, painting the teen’s ass and lower back a pretty scarlet colour. He knew Peter loved it, despite the whimpers of pain as he relentlessly assaulted his body, again and again.

“Little slut, begging for me to stop like a good little bitch. Ask me nicely, I might consider,” Tony snarled, drinking in the moans that came tumbling out of Peter’s mouth at the sentence.

“P-please, I promise I’ll be your good little cockslut, please just let me go,” Peter repeated, rolling his eyes back from pleasure. His cock twitched at the constant stimulation, begging for touch, but Peter couldn’t move, the restraints preventing him from relief.

Tony growled, pausing the flogging at 15 hits. “You better live up to that, whore,” he snarled, taking in the sight before him. Peter, bound to the bed face-down, bent over the back, ass on display. His petite frame quivered in anticipation, preparing for more of the flogging.

“Yes, Tony, I promise I’ll be good, no more,” Peter begged, too aroused to care how desperate he might sound. He jerked his hips forward, trying and failing miserably to acquire friction for his painfully hard dick.

Tony untied the restraints slowly, careful not to hurt his lover any more, now that the scene was over. Peter sobbed, reaching down almost immediately to try and relieve his aching cock. Tony slapped Peter’s hand away, taking the matters into his own hands.

“Such a naughty boy, trying to touch yourself without permission. What do we say?” Tony crooned, teasing Peter’s tip. The latter cried out, grinding against Tony’s hand in hopes of release.

“‘M sorry, so sorry, please, please let me-ah!” Peter abruptly cut off his rambling as Tony took him in hand, stroking along his length tantalisingly. Peter sobbed, crying out as the feeling grew. He centered in on the sensation Tony was giving him, pumping his dick with such earnest it was almost too much, the heat building in his lower abdomen, ready to burst-

Peter woke up with a start, acutely aware of his burning arousal. Oh. Oh shit. He just had one of those dreams...about Tony. Who was right next to him. Peter sucked in a breath, his eyes going wide. He calculated his options, quickly realising he couldn’t move without waking him up.

He cursed the lack of space in the bed, horror taking over as his arousal became too prominent to ignore. He whined softly into his pillow, at loss with how to deal with the predicament. How did things go so badly wrong so soon?

As if things couldn’t get any worse, Tony elicited a groan in the silence of the room and shifted to that his hip was pressed against Peter’s...problem. He unconsciously bucked into the stimulation, immediately regretting the action as Tony groaned again and moved, if possible, closer to his dick. Well, wasn’t this just amazing.

----------------------------

Tony awoke from his sweet abyss of darkness, groaning in annoyance. What had woken him up? He thought he’d heard a whimper, but that couldn’t be right. He shuffled closer to his warm pillow, which promptly moved back against him. Tony froze; pillows weren’t supposed to move. Pillows...also didn’t have a bulge. He recovered quickly, a smirk slowly growing when he realised what had happened here. Parker was hard. So, so hard.

Tony groaned again, this time intentionally shifting against Peter’s bulge to try and gauge how exactly this was going to play out. He was met almost immediately with a response as Peter grinded against him. Tony stifled a moan; it was insanely hot, how responsive Peter was. He was obviously trying to hold back, covering his mouth as he desperately sought relief against Tony. The latter helpfully shifted again, receiving a small squeak in response. Peter’s hand snaked down to his cock, unable to hold back anymore. Tony closed his eyes, savouring this moment-possibly the only time he’d get to be this intimate with his crush, even if he was ‘asleep’.

Peter palmed against his sweats, the pleasure making his breathing uneven as he neared his climax. He felt so bad for doing this with Tony in the same bed, but he was past the point of being able to control his movements. The pressure built up inside him like a spring coiled at it’s base, as he desperately rutted against his hand, when it all became too much-and Peter went rigid. The white-hot pleasure consumed his body, racking through him in wave after wave as he tried to silently ride out his orgasm. The spurts of come soaked his boxers, but Peter was too out of his mind to care as the high slowly came down. His breathing was hard and his sweats were cold and sticky, but the aftershocks of the orgasm jerked his softening cock.

The world slowly came back to him as Peter blinked a couple times, trying to orient himself. The first thing he thought was oh shit, now I’ll have to lie in this mess until Tony wakes up.

That is, until he realised a tiny detail. Tony’s back and hip was completely covered. In. Peter’s. Cum.

Peter looked up slowly, the horror beginning to consume him. His entire body froze when Tony looked right back at him.

[rinadoesstuff]

Secret Soldiers

Chapter Six

Georgia, Camp Toccoa, 1942

"Good afternoon, I was just wondering if I had any mail?" Maggie walked up to the counter, hands resting on it as she smiled at the man. Though an American post office on base, to Maggie it gave her the feeling of being back in Aldbourne. She would usually grab the mail for her family, enjoying the short walk and fresh air.

"Oh I believe you do, give me one moment Lieutenant." The man left, giving Maggie a moment to look around the mailroom as she felt the other man's eyes on her. 

"Maggie right?" 

Maggie turned to the man and gave a sharp smile. "Lieutenant, or Walters, Private." The man nodded, cigarette hanging from his lip. Maggie immediately regretted the way that she spoke to the man, she was supposed to be getting them to like her not for them to see her as even more of a bitch. 

"Sorry, Lieutenant. George Luz." He held out his hand, Maggie hesitantly out stretching her own and shaking his hand. "Nice to meet you again." The man looked sheepish as he spoke, as if he realised what he had done was wrong. Though technically it was, Maggie didn’t want to be one to punish the men for the smallest things. 

"Likewise, private."

There was another pause, Maggie feeling slightly awkward, before George spoke once more. "Where are you from Lieutenant?" 

"England." George gave a small laugh, taking a drag from his cigarette, shaking his head. Maggie realised he meant where in England and gave a small chuckle. 

"Sorry, of course you know I'm from England. Aldbourne, near the town of Swindon, before my father, myself and my brother moved to London." 

George nodded, finishing his cigarette and stubbing it out before talking about his own family. Maggie learned that he came from a big family, surrounded by sisters - six of them with only three brothers, which made Maggie smile. She only had a sister and a brother, both of which she missed dearly.

Sophie had stayed in Aldbourne when herself and the rest of her family had moved away. Sophie was the eldest, a few years older than Maggie - she had been closest to their mother which made Maggie understand why she didn’t want to move away from the family home after her death. 

Adam was the youngest, annoying to say the least but Maggie loved him. As far as Maggie knew he was still in the British Army, fighting the German’s already. Maggie was proud of him, always had been.

" Quite a big family then, Private." Maggie felt a lot more comfortable around George after they began chatting, smiles on both their faces. It was nice for Maggie, having someone other than Camilla to speak with. She adored Camilla but the woman became irritating rather quickly. 

"Yeah, you get used to it really. What about you, Lieutenant, just your brother?" 

Just as George spoke, Vest came back with a few letters for Maggie. "Here you go Lieutenant." Maggie smiled, accepting the letters from the man. "Sorry George," He turned to the man "No mail for you today."

George shrugged, opening the door for Maggie as the two left the small building together. Getting outside, Maggie pulled her pack of cigarettes out and offered one to George. She had a feeling the best way of making friends would be through her cigarettes. 

"Thanks."

Maggie nodded, both lighting up their cigarettes before Maggie spoke. "I've got a sister as well actually, she still lives in Aldbourne. Didn't want to leave after our mother died."

George nodded, eyes on Maggie as the two began walking. He hadn’t lost anyone in his family, parents and multitude of siblings still living. He was silent for a moment, unsure of what to ask. Playing it safe, George skipped over the topic of Maggie’s mother. "Is your brother in the army?" 

Maggie nodded once more "Yes, British Army since '39 when the war broke out." George nodded back, the two quiet for a moment. It wasn’t an awkward silence but a silence for the pair to think about what they had learned about the other. Whilst George was curious, Maggie was attempting to remember all the information. 

If she could remember it, maybe she would have the chance to build a bond with the man. After a few moments, the two needing to go separate ways, George spoke once more. 

"I'll see you for food later, Lieutenant. Save you a seat?" 

Maggie smiled and nodded, though she knew he wouldn't say a word when surrounded by the other men. "Of course," Maggie thought for a moment, deciding against her wish to call the private ‘George’ as if he was her friend. “Private.”

"Call me George!" With that the man jogged off, leaving Maggie to ponder about what had actually just happened. Maybe she had made a friend.

Dresden, September 1942

I lost my place when I left.

The thought hasn’t left her mind since stepping foot into the city again.The coffee Claire held in her hands was still hot, despite the chill temperature outside on the balcony. The city was still in a peaceful state in the early morning hours as the light of the rising sun painted the sky in a colourplay of orange and purple. 

Claire wrapped the jacket tighter around her slightly shivering body while looking inside the living room through the glass window. The pillow fort hasn’t changed except for the ‘roof‘ hanging a bit lower than before. A smile formed on her lips. Just as in their childhood, Claire was the first one to wake up. She could still remember how she and her mother would prepare breakfast Sunday mornings while the boys were still asleep. 

Letting out a deep breath, Claire placed the mug down on the small table next to her. When she stepped out of the trainstation not even 24 hours ago she felt so many emotions. She was excited and happy to be back home after all these years but on the other hand she was missing her family already. Claire wondered what her brothers were doing. 

Samuel and Paul were most likely still in Africa, fighting so far away from their home. Allen was probably up in the air already, trying to protect London from as many enemy aircrafts as possible while Daniel was in training for his first mission.

Claire couldn’t even describe how much she missed her brothers at the moment. Whenever she was in danger at least one of them was by her side but now she was surrounded by the enemy, with no way of them reaching her in time of need.

Claire stopped being religious years ago but on a few occasions she caught herself asking god to bring her brothers home in one piece. To end this war and to bring her family back together. 

The woman leaned over the railing of the balcony and looked down at the street, her blonde hair hanging down in loose strands. A few persons could be seen, hurrying down the cobblestone street into the direction of their workplace. Claire’s classes would start tomorrow and she would be one of the people down on the street. She would be nothing more than another person in the crowd. Out of the eyes of the enemy but yet right in the middle of them.

Claire knew who she was or at least pretended to be. Clara Schneider, the well behaved young lady from across the hallway. 

“Clara Schneider.” She said just above a whisper as she leaned back, her gaze now on the church in front of her.

Hearing herself say her mother's former last name felt off. She never called the strict woman anything else than Mama so hearing the name her mother only connected with bad memories brought up a strange feeling in her. Claire still remembered how her mother asked her to never say Schneider out loud. She never dared to ask why in fear of making her mother upset but the older she got, the more she wanted to push and find out why.

Pushing these thoughts aside Claire took the by now cold coffee back into her hands and turned her gaze back inside the living room. A sheepish smile greeted her from inside as she looked at Hans, who was sitting on the ground, obviously not having the motivation to stand up yet. 

With a last glance at the sky, Claire smiled softly and went back inside the cozy flat.

Maybe I’ll find my place here again.

• • • • • •

Taglist:

@wexhappyxfew @immrsronaldspeirs @trashgoddess600 @junojelli @kmorecoffee @vintagelavenderskies @order-of-river-phoenix @adamantiumdragonfly @happyveday @alrightnicelighter @easy-company-tradition @keoghans @jamie506101 @ultralillylove @pxpeyewynn @pinkesfaultier @madstertb @vikyska

[marshmallowprotection]

Out of all the outcomes, it had to turn out like this? Its like whenever i finally start to feel happy, it always gets ripped away from me.But life isn’t fair, especially to runaways. I guess that’s why i opened the door to a strangers apartment. I remember the hunger pains I felt that day, I remember how cold it was sleeping outside. God that feels like ages ago, its hard to believe that I’ve only been with you all for only a few months. I remember meeting all of you for the first time, I was terrified but you all tried to make me feel the most comfortable I could be. I still Romberg that special knock seven used to let me know it was him and not some random stranger. I also remover that little lie he told me when I said I didn’t want anything to eat or drink,” I have a gift card that’s about to expire,” that never fails to bring a smile to my face. On the ride to the penthouse, seven told me to give jumin a chance, that he isn’t some cold, heartless Man. He just doesn’t know how to express his emotions.

Jaehee, god she was a life saver when i got my first period, I couldn’t thank her enough after she calmed me down and made me realize that I wasn’t dying. I was so embarrassed, but she assured me that it is natural and it is nothing to be ashamed about. She was the older sister I never had, taking me to get bras that actually fit, teaching me how to brew coffee, giving me girl advice, thank you so much for that. You are so amazing and I love helping you at your cafe.

Yoosung, I can’t believe how close we’ve gotten, you’re so fun and easy to chat with. You always help me take my mind off of my bad dreams by playing LOLOL together, well its more you playing the game and me pressing random buttons. And all the times you have helped me with homework questions, but i guess that’s a benefit of online school. You might get teased by everyone but you’re amazing, and kind, and I cherish our moments together.

Zen, you took on the role of an older brother the second you found out my age, and that I’m a runaway, but I guess it’s cause you’re one too. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that. You reminded me so much of my older brother, but you and him are different people with different amazing qualities. You made me feel so safe, and I always had so much fun whenever you took me to rehearsal. I still smile and laugh when the lighting caption took me to their booth during lunch, while you were still practicing and let me use the spotlight, and I kept moving it around and you had to follow. That was so much fun. You were the first person who gave me a real hug in years, and I accepted it, it felt so good to be hugged with so much genuine care and affection that I cried in your arms. I know that you don’t always get along with jumin, but seeing you both try to get along for my sake warms my heart.

Seven, you were the first one I met. That first night I was at the apartment I know it was you who sent laundry detergent, shampoo, conditioner, food, tooth paste, a toothbrush, and other supplies I needed but didn’t have. You just didn’t want to take the credit. You were the first person in a long time to give me those supplies without a hidden motive. I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me, you arranged for me to stay with jumin until you all found a suitable home for me to live in(although that didn’t happen lol) you work tirelessly and put other before yourself, even though you love teasing yoosung everyone knows that you love him, not only him but everyone in the rfa. All those jokes and memes you send in the group chat are always hilarious, and all those times you broke into the penthouse at night to “play with Elly “ when it just by coincidence that i had a nightmare. We would always end up laughing so hard it hurts. You helped me in so many ways that I cant even name them all, thank you for always helping me.

Jumin, it has been a few months since you took me in, and those few months have made me the happiest I have ever been, without you and the rfa I dont know what would have happened to me, You took me, a runaway teenager, who you didn’t know, who was so reserved and barley talked, and you helped her. You turned me into the person I am today, and the person I am today is happy. You stood by me during the whole Glam and Sarah situation, and you didn’t even know me too well but you still protected me. You are always there for me during my nightmares. You even took me to see multiple types of doctors to make sure I was getting healthy, and to find out what steps to take to get me there, from setting reminders on my phone to eat, to getting me a weighted blanket so I could finally sleep through the night. You took on the parental role for a down on her luck runaway, and gave her a chance. I can’t ever thank you enough for that. I love you dad.

Sometimes I wonder what was going on in everyone’s heads when I popped up, but I just need everyone to know that I love them, so so much. Not many people can say that they got a second shot at having a family, but i did, and I love my family. You all showed me something I hadn’t felt since my brother died, love, affection, and a sense of belonging. Please, none of you blame yourselves for what happened to me.

Love, Bora Han.”

Hot tears streamed down Jumin face as he read Bora’s letter, the smell of disinfectant permeated the hospital room. The letter in one hand as the other gripped his unconscious daughters hand. The only comfort he found was the beeping of the heart monitor, telling him that his daughter is still alive. After four hours of emergency surgery on her shoulder from the fall she took, zen described what he saw as terrifying, unknown had a tight grip on the young girl, and threatening to take her away. Luckily bora kicked unknown in the shin and he dropped her. Unfortunately for bora, she landed on her arm, hard. Zen’s face paled as he recounted hearing the bone snap. She has a few stitches from scrambling on the floor to get to zen. She must have written the letters once we got news of the bomb in the apartment being controlled by unknown. It zen got her to a hospital just in time he is sitting on the chair across the room. He isn’t even supposed to be here, but all it took for the nurse to let it slide was some flirting, from his part. And I handed her more than enough money to convince her. All that matters is that my daughter is alive, and she is safe.

It was hours before I felt something squeeze my hand. My eyes meet a pair of purple eyes that look so insanely tired, they were already welling up in tears as zen rushes to grab a nurse and water.

“ hey duckling, I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere,”

“ i-“ she starts to cough, which makes her groan in pain, the meds must be wearing off. A nurse runs in to check up on bora as zen holds up a cur of water and brings it to boras lips. She must be so thirsty, and she looks so scared, she hates hospitals but right now her safety it top priority.

“ I’m so sorry dad” she says crying. Stroking her hair I try calming her as much as I can without her being in more pain.

“Duckling, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry about, you were so strong, and you still are so strong. I promise I wont leave you alone here.” I say calmly, making her calm down a bit.

“ me too kiddo, I’m not leaving you here too,” zen says as bora struggles to keep her eye open.

“When can I go home?” She asks, looking down at the big white cast on her arm, I can tell she will be needing a sling.

“Hopefully tomorrow, when we get home how would you like to watch a movie marathon? We can get those snacks you like, the gold fish? How would you like a new blanket? Name what you want and its yours.” Jumin says to bora, she just smiles up at him, still pretty put of it from the pain meds.

“ no, I dont want you to spend money on me, can we watch a movie together? Please?” The sweet young girl says as jumin reaches over to kiss her forehead.

“Absolutely duckling, now you need to rest. We will both be here when you wake up,” jumin says as him and zen turn the lights off and lay down on their respective make shift beds.

I’m kind of glad that the lights are off, its so hard to see bora in a cast, she just looks so small in that big hospital bed, but she is safe, and alive. We can get through this, I’ll be there every step of the way.

I'm not crying, you are! Family coming together for her sake.

[my-icefairytales]

The benefits of heartbreak chapter 2

Note: I’m sorry for taking my time, I will try to update faster because I like this story too much *-*

Rating: M 

Word count:  2,715 words.

Sarada's pov. 

"pick up, pick up, PICK UP, PICK UP, come on chouchoou!" I screamed leaving the fifth voice mail in a row, I wanted to tell her everything. I couldn’t believe that I had a casual conversation with the most handsome man in the city once we part our ways I practically ran to my apartment to scream. 

I almost died of embarrassment when he teased me but after that, we actually had a pretty decent conversation, I wish it rained forever so we could still be there but anyways….. 

It was getting late so I decided to clean my mind by getting ready to sleep, first soaking off the day in a hot bath then made myself a healthy dinner and started to write every detail about this day. 

That's when all of my thoughts drifted to that guy, whose name didn't ask… 

He had this raspy deep voice I could hear all day, whenever he talked about his life I got lost in his eyes and how sometimes his raven hair would obscure his view, I don't know if it was a nervous tic or he always did that but every once in a while he rubbed his neck with his hand, maybe he was tired, he did had bags under his silver eyes, not too noticeable but after a while, you could see them. And he told me we went to the same college I had to hide my happiness when he told me that, now I’m more motivated to go.

Damn…. Sarada are you really that lonely? We talked for a couple of hours, he is a complete stranger but I’m already thinking about him non-stop creating every fake scenario I can imagine, why do I always do this?, I better stop wasting my time and go to bed I will just talk to Chouchou tomorrow after class.

Kawaki's pov:

After today I thought I was finally returning to my life, I could start again, it took me weeks to gain the strength to go outside, to talk to anybody even pick up my brother's calls, all of my energy was drained by her, sometimes it felt like I would never be the same, I completely changed and at that time it didn’t matter as long as we were together but now I asked myself if it was worth it, I mean I did all of those changes for her but she didn’t see it. I wonder if she ever saw me.

I should give myself an award, one hour has passed since she texted me and I still haven’t read it and maybe I don’t think I should, it’s not my obligation any more we broke up for a reason, but I can’t help myself maybe something happened to her she never called or texted me anymore, but wait. What if she had an accident and she…. no, she only looked for my ‘help’ when she only wanted one thing. I better get over myself and just read it.

*I need you.*

God I know her so well, of course, of course she was gonna pull out that text, this is her, she never wanted me, or missed me, did she even loved me?. It took me years to finally see it, and I can’t go back there, this isn't the first time she texts me something like that but it could be the first time I ignore her. I can’t go back, for months my friends told me it was gonna be alright and I’m finally believing it.

 How can one simple quote have me completely at her mercy?.

Ignoring that famous text I went to bed, hoping tomorrow this issue was buried deep down in the past.

Sarada’s Pov:

I woke up with a fluffy feeling in my neck Jiji my beautiful cat was sleeping on top of me, his purr was like music to my hears, he had my scent impregnated and I loved that, he has been my baby for almost 5 years, my parents found him alone in the streets and decided to bring him home, he was the best thing that happened in my life, so when it was time to leave my small town and come to the city for college I decided to bring him I couldn’t leave him behind.

I did my best to get up from bed without waking him up, he could be really grumpy when I bothered him in his sleep, I barely picked him up so I could move to the side and dropped him again, I guess he was really tired because he didn’t even move a little bit. After that cute surprise, I got ready for my day, classes were starting to get more difficult and I needed to pay more attention and study a little bit more if I wanted to be the top of my class like I always did if I can brag about it. I took a peek outside my window to see how the weather was, it looked a little bit cloudy but not that windy so I decided to go with a brown winter skirt with a pale pink knit top and in case it gets more cold a huge ocean blue double-breasted coat. I took a fast breakfast wasting too much time picking my outfit and ran to class.

After class I texted Chouchou so we can finally meet up and talk about yesterday’s event, I wasn’t mad at her for not showing up yesterday, obviously, at least thanks to my busy day I managed to keep my thoughts away from him but now that I’m free I planned to tell her everything, she’s probably gonna say that it’s all thanks to her, I mean in some way it is but thanks to my awkward personality he talked to me on the first place... 

I instantly face palmed myself at the thought of that memory, I still get blushed when I think about his teasing.

"SARADAAAA", I hear my best friend scream nonstop from far away.

Oh god…. why does she like to embarrass me like that?, I turned my face as soon as possible to find her so she can shut up, but because there was an ocean of students leaving I couldn’t see at all, so I decided to stand up in a higher platform and after a couple of seconds I manage to find her but as soon as I lift my hand to wave at her a strong rumble and a heavy rainfall started to pour. Every soul began to dispel running away from the rain and at that moment I realize I left my coat in the classroom and my books were starting to get wet so I rapidly went to the closest place where I could hide from the rain, the college rest area. Actually, my favorite place to hang out with friends, sometimes I think it’s a place inspired out of a fairy tale, it’s a huge green area with different kind of beautiful plants, in the center, there’s a pool with a small bridge that crosses and it the end there’s a gazebo where you can sit, bigger enough to even fit a hammock. I always see this place like a romantic one where you can bring your date, but right now I only wanted to leave.

I texted Chouchou begging her to bring me my coat, I was soaked but at least the books that were my priority remained almost completely dried. After a couple of minutes, she answered me saying that she was already on her way, I hoped she arrived soon I was starting to feel a little bit dizzy I wasn’t used to this type of weather, the bench where I was sitting was comfortable enough to rest and close my eyes, my head was starting to ache until it reached a point where I thought it was going to explode, I felt someone tapping on my shoulder but I couldn’t even open my eyes the natural light was too much for me.

Kawaki's pov:

Today’s classes went smoothly, I had a lot to catch up so I just wanted to get home I couldn’t afford to have bad grades. On my way out I ran into Boruto, he was hanging out with his group of friends probably talking about going out to take some drinks, he tried to persuade me into going with them but I was decided to get home, after a couple of minutes of chitchatting I announced my way out only to be interfered by a strong rumble and rain falling from the sky, as usual, the students started to leave faster but because the campus was overcrowded I decided to wait a while, I wasn’t a fan of crowds.

When everything started to calm down a little bit I turn my face to ask Boruto if he wanted me to give him a ride now that there was a storm, but he was busy talking with a girl honestly almost murmuring so he didn’t listen to me and I really wanted to leave so I just turned away to get into my car, the weather was really bad and I had a feeling that it was going to get worst at least I had my windbreaker that covered me from the rain when I was almost getting into my car an annoying Boruto screamed from afar my name, I almost ignored him but a part of me got worried thinking he probably didn’t have a ride. 

"Hey bro, I need your help!!" a grinning Boruto pleaded

"Get in" I shortly said, thinking the ride was the help he needed.

"No.. actually I need you to give this coat to a friend, I would do it myself but I’m in a rush so take it" He said, handing me the jacket.

"What? I need to leave!" I exclaimed standing up too late to give him back the jacket, that dumbass was running away from me.

"SHE’S ON THE REST AREA, THAAANKS" was the last thing he heard from him.

Is he kidding? I thought, sometimes Boruto could get on my nerves. I stood there on the parking lot thinking if I should go, maybe this was a joke. I slowly got into my car to leave but something tells me that I should check there. Trusting my guts I leave and head over there hoping this wasn’t just some cruel joke. 

It was only logical to look out for her in the gazebo, that was the only place someone could be if they wanted to hide from the rain. As I got closer I started to feel bad for taking so long, she was snuggled in a bench completely wet, her face was covered by her hair and she wasn’t moving I got a bad feeling about this so I ran closer to her, when I tapped on her shoulder to hand her the coat she didn’t move, I insisted for a while not wanting to invade her space but she was starting the scare me, I moved her hair to check on her temperature only to realize something.

She was that weird-cute girl from the coffee place.

"Hey" I quietly said, trying to wake her up, "wake up, I have your coat" I tried to remember her name but nothing came to my mind, I searched on her coat to find her college pass or something so I could remember it.

"Sarada…." 

"mhh?" she managed to answer.

"It’s me, I don’t know if you remember, we met at the coffee shop last night" I murmured, I guessed her head was aching due to her high temperature so I didn’t want to startle her.

She didn’t answer, after thinking for a while I covered her with her coat and my windbreacker and decided to call my dumbass brother, I needed to know where she lived so I could take her there at least. She couldn’t even move.

When he answered me, I tried to wake her one more time but it was useless we needed to leave soon before the storm got worse so I decided to lift her, she felt so tiny in my arms and looked weak, when we talked last night I barely looked at her but now she was so pale, and all of her blood was on her cheeks, her hair made a complete contrast with the rest of her face, I wish she could open her eyes to have a complete picture of her but at the same time, I wish she didn’t because right now I was acting like a complete weirdo.

Once we arrived to my car I laid her on the back so she could be more comfortable and started the drive to her place, in the GPS it showed that she lived really close to me, probably that’s why we ran out to each other last night, after driving for half an hour due to the high car congestion we arrived at her apartment. Outside was the same girl from earlier, the one talking to Boruto, when I took Sarada out of the car she got closer and thanked me for getting her friend home.

"I’m Chouchou by the way, I’m her best friend" she said while looking out for her keys on her purse, "I was in a rush so I couldn’t help her, I asked Boruto and he was busy as well but he told me you could help her" yeah right…. more like throwing the jacket and running away.

When we got inside I went directly to her room and laid her in her bed, I waited outside while her friend changed her clothes, and while I waited I took a peek into her living room, she had pictures of her and her friends hang around the room, apparently, the main color for her decoration were peach everything had that color, It gave a warm vibe. My apartment was the complete opposite, it consisted of only two colors, black, and grey. Inside was getting warmer and I was wearing a black turtleneck so I took off the windbreaker, while I sat on her sofa a fluffy cat appeared it was completely black and because I was a stranger the cat started to smell all over me, and after a minute it laid on top of me it smelled really nice like cinnamon and honey I wonder if that’s Sarada’s smell….. 

"Hey kawaki, She’s already on her bed, I’m going to buy some medicines, can you stay until I came back?", she said while putting her scarf. "You can make some tea, just look around her kitchen". And with that, she left.  

What’s up with these people, I didn’t even have a chance to answer if I could stay, well if I said no I would look like a complete jerk and actually… I didn’t want to say no, but it would be nice if they let me consider it...

When she left, I was about to stand up but I saw her kitty, it looked so comfortable on my chest I felt kinda bad to ruin that I checked if the animal had a collar with the name and apparently the cat’s name is Jiji. Uh, that sounds familiar, it’s not a common name for sure but I could swore I heard that name somewhere else, not wanting to waste too much time thinking about it I slowly stand up with her cat and decided to lay it by Sarada’s side so she can have some company, when I got in her room I slowly sat by her side and drop the cat close to her. 

I wanted to stay until she got better, she still looked pale, the redness of her cheeks disappeared a little bit. She had a cold damp towel wrapped around her head, every once in awhile I moved a little bit or added more water.  I went to her kitchen for more water and I needed a cup of coffee everything was so tidy and when I came back she was slowly opening her eyes.

Her raven eyes were finally looking at me.

[spacegaywritings]

Communication of Silence - Chapter 10

Sorry for the late update. The next chap is safe but the one after might have a delay. I will update you. The current situation is causing me a lot of work and issues, so it is struggle time.

Everyone be safe and treat yourself and others with kindness♥

ao3 link! story under the cut.

  The door leaned into its frame and lazily stuck around.

 Dee leaned down to give Virgil’s forehead one last kiss.

 “Be safe. Drive, like, slow or whatever... d-don’t get hurt, okay?”

 She laughed.

She was even more beautiful whenever she laughed.

 “I will be safe and sound. And you will be too. You will go to therapy tomorrow or on Tuesday - otherwise I will cancel.”

 Virgil commented with a scoff and significant eyeroll.

 “Who are you? My sibling?”

 Dee’s deer brown eyes gained another layer of depth and the emo could not help but sigh in defeat. He could feel her

 “Good night, my love. Take care of Patton.”

 Virgil stepped back to support the door in being so close to home and so far from the beauty leaving their proximity.

 “Good night, Dee. Love you. I know.. I will.”

 She smiled at him and disappeared down the staircase, hat covering her head and coat making sure that not too much of her handsome self would be unleashed onto this world all at once.

  He went back inside and told Patton goodnight.

Just thinking about the ginger made Virgil hurt inside.

 This while weekend had been a whole mess of ups and downs.

 Not eating again, passing out on physical exercise and seeing his precious rat and older sibling again.

And having Dee meet the others just felt like the weirdest blur ever.

All in all, it felt.. not that bad.

Well, that was for hid diary to decide.

 He just had to sit down and list all the happy things he had done today and how much he liked. His pages would soak it up and he could make a recap of the week.

 In a few days, he would be old enough to drink alcohol, legally.

It was wild.

Just last year, his life was in shatters and he had tried putting it back together and now he was in a rather stable home and he had a person who respected him and family and friends and even a place where he could study.

 Life really did get better.. somehow..

That was nice to know.

 He smiled when he got back into his and Logan’s shared room.

 “That was certainly something, today”

 Logan greeted him with a voice, more neutral than Switzerland. Even his face looked absolutely untouched, for a sculptor to be sculpted.

The emo cleared his throat and trotted over to his mattress, losing more and more clothing as he progressed.

He was comfortable with taking his jacket off around Logan - or his hoodie in that case.

 The hoodie landed on the mattress first and Virgil groaned as he simply threw himself onto the mattress, shirt coming off and pants half-way following as he lazily wiggled around.

His legs’ movement slowly died down and he commented on it with yet another groan.

 “If you mean something, as in a fuckton of bullshit and feelings, then yeah - you are right.”

 His words came out like spit. It was sudden, forceful and in front of a certain amount of emotions.

A sigh escaped his lips and Logan turned to him, glancing over his roommate’s laying form.

 There was something about Virgil in only shorts.

Logan could see colourful as much as black ink .

 When Virgil drew his hand through his hair, he blinked.

 “Another tattoo? I did not see this one before.”

 The emo curled up and pulled at the clothed he had just shed, forming a little pile of them.

 “Yeah, uh... I ..um”, he started but broke off.

The words were too stubborn to work for him so he simply swung his body back into a sitting position and let his right arm stretch over the edge of Logan’s bed.

 “There you go. If you wanted to see it. I got it this weekend so you could not have seen it before..”, he trailed off and looked at Logan who was adjusting his chair to face Virgil’s body.

He could look at the other without twisting his back in any awkward way, now.

 He could see an arrow, several symbols and words connected by strings and colours.

It mostly looked monochromatic but the emphasis was made with certain accents of different shades of colour from the rainbow.

Enticing.

Logan did enjoy examining tattoos. He found the patterns to be calming and it was fascinating to see what kind of decoration people paid to embed in their skin.

 The meanings.. oh, they were also a good point - considering someone had a deeper motivation behind getting certain motifs.

 “May I ask what this.. foil is?”

 Indeed, as Logan pointed it out, there was some sort of invisible foil strapped over the new design.

 “Ah, yeah. They give you that as protection for the tattoo. It is so the open wound created can, like, heal up without anything getting into it. Others might just instruct you to put some stuff onto it every time the skin is dry. Like, they give you special tattoo lotion that is sort of anti-bacterial or whatever. But with this weird foil uh.. or whatever you wanna call it, you just leave it on and then moisturise three times a day. You keep it on for.. two weeks, I think. Yeah, I think it was one or two. “

 Virgil blinked.

 “I forgot but I put a reminder in my phone so I will not miss it. I just keep forgetting these kidna things, every now and then.”

 He shrugged.

 Logan nodded.

 The invisible patch reminded him of water-proof band-aids. Considering the looks of it, they probably served as something like this.

He had never known about any of these techniques.

 Virgil smiled at the nerd.

His lips hung a bit low despite being curled like a melon slice.

 “Why did you .. I mean, why do you get all these tattoos? Do they mean anything to you or is it just for the aesthetics?”

 The other snorted and leaned back onto his bed.

 “You are funny Logan. You really are.”

 His voice seemed to purr and his words were dancing into Logan’s ears. Sounds were swinging and the fierce smile of his friend was sensually sprawling over the elder student’s vision.

  He cleared his throat.

 “Anyway, this is some kinda sibling bullshit thing. I have been meaning to do that for a while already and finally got to it.”

 Virgil looked down at his arm and played with his dirty laundry.

Just... pushing at his hoodie.

Hey, that one was actually good to wear again at least one or two more times. Hoodies were so hard on catching smells that he loved them even more.

They were the kind of low maintenance clothing he needed in his life.

 “I only recently finished the sketch for it so my sibling went ahead and got it this weekend. I got it the day after so we could go and be there for one another..”, he licked his lips, “you know, sibling shit and all. I kinda fell asleep when I got mine. The vibrations are sort of relaxing and the sound is soothing.”

 Logan chuckled.

 “I never heard of that.”

 The other got up and put on his hoodie again, no shirt for underneath. His boxers got changed and he put his dirty laundry into the nearby basket.

 “Hey Virgil?”

 A hum could be heard.

 The man was fishing inside of his sleepover bag and eventually got out a book.

 “Do you sleep enough?”

 The words fell onto the ground like a judge’s gavel hitting the desk.

 “uh... where did that come from?”

 He laid down but made sure to glance over at Logan.

All he could see was his back since the other was sitting at his desk, writing away as if he was not just starting up some conversation between them with this particularly hot topic.

 “Where did that evasion come from?”

 Oof.

Gotcha.

 “I swear to the stars, Logan, you are a treat.”

 Virgil chuckled and the IT student put his pen aside.

 “You are awake, no matter when I wake up. You fall asleep in weird places, at odd times. I saw you doze off at work - now even at a tattoo parlor when enduring pain? You stated looking paler and more stressed these days and even your eye rings appear to be much darker than I observed before. Therefore, I concluded you might lack sleep.”

 Virgil scoffed at him but did not dare deny his words.

It was true.. not that it was that hard to make out just how sleep-deprived he was but Logan really hit the nail.

 “However, you seem more refreshed when you visited your friends or your sibling. I assume you sleep together?”

 Virgil started scribbling into his stupid diary update therapy shit book thing.

Nerdy, yeah..

Still, it kinda helped him so he did not complain. He actually kinda dug the book and enjoyed writing into it.

 It was empowering to see the good happening in his life or just writing down some shit he felt bad about so he could find out how and why he was more anxious in certain times.

 He hummed.

 “I uh.. don’t take it personal but.. I just can’t relax here. I .. I am.. It is not because of you.”

 Fuck, he sounded like some cliche guy breaking up with someone.

 “Uh, I mean.. This is my problem. I am just stupidly anxio- I mean.. I am anxious a lot and it is hard to sleep and shit but it is okay.”

 He bit his lips.

...self-deprecation was high again.. He put a 6 on his one to ten scale.

 “It happens or whatever. It is not like I am the only person to ever have sleeping problems or whatever.”

 His shoulders shrugged.

 Meanwhile, Logan noted down Virgil’s response.

 “Fellow lover of Bunny Smashskull, would you fancy sleeping in the bed with me?”

  Virgil’s mind stopped for a moment.

Tha..there was more than a bit of information packed into this short sentence.

He.. uh..

 “I- what?”

 He blinked and Logan opened his mouth again to start speaking but Virgil rose his hand, eyes hardening.

 “What do you mean with that sleep thing?”

 His whole body seemed to resemble a cat arching its back. If he had a tail, it would be all fluffy and big, every hair on his body would probably stand up like crazy.

Logan’s brows furrowed together.

He had expected his friend to reacted with a bit more confusion and less... whatever this was. But his words suggested that if Logan did not take careful steps, he would make his friend leave.

 He already sounded as if he was halfway out of the door.

Virgil had a place he had never mentioned before... now that he thought about it, it felt as if he had stopped talking about himself at all ever since he had moved in. Safe for some moments, they had barely talked at all because he was just staying away a lot.

 Was Virgil avoiding him?

 “Virgil, not sleeping is very unhealthy and while I am not your caretaker, I am your friend. As a friend I am expressing my concern for your health as a lack of can increase the risk of many diseases and illnesses to break out - mental and physical ones alike. I noticed you falling asleep with me on the couch despite the amount of people around us, so I suspected that bodily warmth next to you might be beneficial for your sleeping cycle.”

 The emo looked at the nerd, his shoulders immediately dropping to a regular position. The cat fur was smooth and nice again.

He looked so small and tired.

Not once have the dark circles looked as miserable as during this moment.

 “You are.. worried?”

 The words came out in a rather silent whisper. The short sentence was once step before the other in a house with loud and squeaky wood planks when you were awake at night and needed a snack but did not want to wake up your relatives.

The emphasis on the last word made Logan question whether Virgil doubted him that much or rather his own worth.

 Both sounded bad.

 “Of course I am worried. Again, I am your friend and I want you to be well - as much as you can be. If sleeping together in a bed is out of your comfort zone, I would agree to you letting your friends sleep over if you keep it to a reasonable volume.”

 Virgil’s eyes blinked rapidly.

Logan fucking hated people in his space. When Patton as much as nudged the open door further open, the student of computer sciences would get all cranky.

Well, okay maybe he did not hate people but he did value his personal space and he took it very serious.

 Once Roman wanted to put his part of the laundry into Logan’s room and loudly announced at as he did so and Logan immediately rushed over and gave the other a more than hefty talk on respecting his boundaries, commenting on how he could have just dropped it in front of his room’s door.

He had said much more than that and Roman had eventually backed away and muttered something under his breath.

 Those things made Virgil wonder how and why Logan of all people lived with a person such as Roman but...

His face turned sour again and his chest hurt.

 He let out a whine but quickly formed it into a groan.

 “Ugh, whatever. We can sleep together and test your hypotheses or whatever, nerd. If that lets you leave me alone”

 His lips pulled into the top corner of one side.

Logan knew he did that in instances when Virgil did not feel upset at all. It was more an action of deliberation or rather uplifting feelings.

He needed to observe it further but he had found a connection between Virgil’s feelings and his lips pulling into a downward curve.

 “You would help me with my science project?”

 The words tickled Virgil’s nose and he had to smile away the weird feeling in his stomach.

 “Yeah, because we are friends and shit. Like, I care about you and stuff. But just because I had fucking biscuits and they gave me a really good mood.”

 Logan snickered and turned his attention back to his writing for a bit. It did not last for too long despite Virgil continuing his scribbles and whatnot himself. Eventually, the smaller student put his pen aside and closed his notebook.

 “Wait a moment. You fucking know Bunny Smashskull? I am awake, this is not a dream and you asked me about the band, right?”

 He sat up properly and put his notebook aside.

For now, his thoughts were too wild to focus again. His fight or flight reflexes had taken over too much of his logical reasoning once more.

 Logan was still writing, from as much as Virgil could judge.

Really, he could just see his back so there was not too much telling but his arm seemed to flinch a bit every now and then.

 “Log you fucking nerd, answer the question -”

 A smug smile stole itself onto his lips and he got up from his mattress to sit on the one-time-their bed. His notebook was cradled in his lap, just in case.

 The roommate shrugged.

 “So what if I did?”

 Virgil inhaled audibly.

 “Shut up, you do not - “, he started but paused mid-sentence, words stuck in his mind as he realised what he had said and heard so far. His voice dropped from a grand revelation in announcement volume to a low one in the regular fashion of discussing a secret between thieves.

“Holy shit, you do!”

 Logan back flexed but he did not speak.

Instead, he kept writing slowly, neatly for a bit longer.

 Virgil was tempted to walk over and look at his notes.. or to just put his hands on his shoulders and annoy him a bit but he did not know what Logan was writing.

He did not really want to know, really. Curiosity wanted to know for the sake of finding out whatever he did not know.

 “Log, fucking talk to me and talk to my face, you hear me? This is wild! I never took you for the type to rock it.”

 The nerd slowly turned around.

 “You never took me for the type? Very well, I was aware of my ability to hide away my interests but I did not expect myself to be that good.”

 He was tugging at his shirt as if to adjust a bowtie or a necktie. Something fancy and serious like the stuff people in suit would wear.

Come to think of it, Dee did this every now and then.

 Virgil leaned in.

It was time to bond and shit.

 “Your secret is safe with me, log. I promise.”

 Virgil shifted on the bed and patted a spot next to him.

 His friend took the hint and put his notebooks (multiple notebooks, alright, nerdy nerd) to their respective places.

And Logan damn made sure to took his sweet sweet time with it.

 “What’s your favourite song?”, he whisper-screamed to his friend.

 Their shoulders were touching and Virgil felt fuzzy in his mind.

He giggled.

This felt like a silly sleepover already and it seemed funny to him.

 Logan smiled and pulled his phone out.

 “My favourite songs is “Laws and bones break better than hearts” but I am biased”, he tapped a few icons on his phone and handed it over to Virgil for him to see a younger version of Logan.

 The younger one was still absurdly tall, still smaller than Patton - younger Patton - who was next to him. They were wearing black shirts with the band logo in front of it.

A crowd of people was behind them and Logan’s cheeks were red from heat and sweat but he was smiling and he looked breathless.

 Breathtaking, even.

 “You are biased because you went to a concert, you fucking traitor!”, Virgil exclaimed and nudged Logan’s side, “Can I swipe?”

 Logan agreed and he continued to go through the collection of pictures.

Hair disheveled and shirt too big, he was pressed against Patton and smiling into the camera.

 He barely got to see Logan so off-guard but it was.. refreshing.

It was much nicer than seeing him wear ties at work and keep going through flashcards before lessons so he could make a better impression or whatever.

 He barely knew Logan’s lips could do something as ambitious as smile so brightly.

 “You look really happy, Log..”

 He had reached the end of pictures.

It was Logan just hugging Patton close.

 “I got the tickets back there”, he explained as he took his phone back, “Patton knows nothing about any bands I like nor does he understand how I enjoy this sort of music. He just went ahead and asked random online strangers about which bands to recommend because he wanted to make my 18th birthday really special.”

 Logan’s lips formed the same alluring smile.

It was softer than feathers and lighter than wings.

He really seemed like a divine creature with his face smiling like that.

 “Looks like he got that right. I am in groups a lot and it is not that uncommon for people to ask for advice on new songs and artists but seeing a completely clueless person just join for a friend? That is wild. But it does sound like a thing Patton would do.”

 Virgil leaned back, his arms crossing behind the back of his head. He folded his hands over one another in his neck.

 “You giants are too friendly. Can’t relate.”

 His smirk was teasing.

 Logan got up and got the shirt.

 “I will sleep in this. I want to sleep in it.”

 Virgil chuckled.

 “You’re the boss, Log. I am not gonna fight you over a night shirt.”

 The nerd changed into his band merchandise and Virgil moved over to lay on his side and finish his journaling thing.

 “Diary?”

 He shook his head.

 The bed dipped next to him and the blanket started moving.

Virgil grunted back at the movement but a few more tugs had him move over so the blanket could be on top of them rather than on the bed only.

 “Journal thing for therapy. Sucks but it is also kinda helpful so I am trying to stick to it ‘n all.”

 He shrugged.

 “My favourite song is “poison”, by the way. Fucking underrated.”

 Logan laid down next to him and put his glasses aside.

 “It is a good song indeed”

 Virgil hummed.

 “ m done”

 He dropped pen and book onto his mattress.

 “uh.. let us try this.. this sleep thingy and all. Can’t go wrong, right?”

 His shoulders shrugged and he slid under the blanket with his friend. The smaller figure felt like a plank himself.

Virgil flinched and got up as soon as his whole body was in a sleeping position.

 “Fuck!”, he hissed and toppled after his notebook, “the light. Log, we are fucking stupid in the chilis tonight.”

 Logan huffed.

 “It is too late for memes, Virgil.”

 Virgil walked around to shut the light and slowly stumbled back to bed.

 “You can pull memes from my cold, dead hands, pocket protector. It is always meme time but night time is even more intense meme time.”

 “But to be fair, at least because of me you know that this is a meme”

 The blanket rustled from Logan’s body vibrating in his quiet chuckles.

 “You sending me confusing pictures and sentences during working hours is not educational.”

 Virgil settled in bed and curled up.

 “But I might have learned from it anyway, Virg.”

 It was his turn to chuckle and the emo made sure to get comfortable with his pillow from the mattress quickly being moved up to assist him.

And his blanket.

He still shared the blanket Logan was using but the more blanket, the better. Sleepy time was the perfect time to be warm and comfortable after all.

 They laid still for a bit. It was quiet and sleepy.

Outside, Roman could be heard. He was talking, probably to Patton but it was too far away to make out any words at all.

It was just Roman-ish noises.

 Roman was probably offended about something at work and needed to harass Patton about it even though that man was busy too and had worries too. Oh dear fuck, he really did.

Virgil wanted to just walk out and pull Patton into the happy slumber bed with him and Logan instead of letting him subject himself to Roman’s offended princey noises.

 Ugh...

But it was like nine in the evening and Patton would work on his study stuff before actually going to sleep. And Roman would just fuss around.

...It was already special enough Logan allowed Virgil to sleep in his bed after all they had talked about, after all he had been through.

 For some reason, he felt a bit ashamed to be in the same bed with him, to intrude so much but he quickly banished the thought.

Logan did not force himself to let Virgil into his bed. He had asked him and he was being upright about it and had napped with him before, on the same day even so.

 “Virgil?”

 The emo shifted a bit, his movements intentionally slow and uncoordinated.

He might not have been the best actor in the world but he knew how to pretend being asleep or waking up jut then and there. Years of training had taught him well.

Sometimes, experience was a much better teacher than getting a license and some degree.

 “mhm..?”

 His sounds were haphazard and sounded just silent, muffled and hidden enough to mimic the innocence of a person who was slowly detaching from the promising and sweet dreams of their mighty sleep.

 “Do you hate it here?”

 Virgil shifted more to the edge.

If he had to leap, he would.

 “What do you mean? I thought you wanted to sleep, not start a conversation.”

 He heard someone clear his throat.

Outside of their room, Roman was laughing and Virgil flinched.

A shiver ran down his spine. He pressed his eyes closed and held onto his sleeves.

 “You are not sleeping, let me talk to you.”

 He sat up and put on the lamp on the nearby nightstand.

Only Logan was enough of a person to have a night light with fancy nice light that did not hurt the tired eyes too much.

Coloured light was the only valid thing to ever exist for waking one up in the middle of the night.

 Virgil scoffed but followed his friend’s lead to sit up and whatnot.

Leaning against the wall behind him, he rubbed his eyes.

 “ugh, whatever”, he mumbled and tugged the blanket closer around him. Even then, he did not stop tugging and nudging the ends of it with his fidgety fingers, “what do you want, Log?”

 He sounded as if on trial for murdering a man and his hands were still pushing the murder weapon from one bloodied hand to the other.

 Logan meekly watched him, without glasses and only a bare minimum of light, it was difficult to make out what Virgil was doing or what he looked like.

 “Okay, okay. You go give me the talk, teach. What did I do?”

 The smaller student’s hand was hanging low and his fingers were fidgeting still as they resided in his lap.

Logan swallowed dry before he decided to answer.

 “You did not do anything, Virgil, please do not take my worries or my curiosity as offence. I was just wondering why you were so uncomfortable here.”

 The words easily made their way out of Logan’s mouth but for Virgil, they were less like releasing feathers to the wind and just watching them flow. It was pushing the big and heavy rock up the hill instead of Sisyphus and the chore was bound to never stop.

The shivers gave him goosebumps so bad he pulled his knees to his chest to preserve body warmth.

 “Who said I am?”

 Virgil was the still holding onto the metaphorical knife but it was so much easier to keep telling himself it was not him as he nodded his head as if to shake off the truth.

If he just denied the reality hard enough, maybe he could do it.

 “Virgil, please. It is obvious. Do you want me to point out every moment you made it clear you dislike being here? Only today you gave me so many pieces of evidence.”

 The friend exhaled.

His breath was a bit rocky.

Logan’s words truly had a punching effect on him.

 “If I say it, will you let me promise me to let it go and just move on already?”

 Virgil glared at him, eyes barely focusing on the man before him.

Even with the near-complete darkness they were in, Virgil could see Logan through his heavy bangs shielding his vulnerable face from the knowledgeable judge that was his nerdy friend.

 “If you are saying the truth, I might.”

 He scoffed.

 “I fucking hate you.”

His words sounded less bitter, more desperate and weak. Almost like a plead.

They were asking him not to press further on it.

 “It is him. Now good-fucking-night, Logan.”

 With that, Virgil turned around and plugged in earbuds so he could listen to something that was not Logan.

 The nerd gave up and fulfilled his side of the promise.

 It was not as if he had not expected that answer.

...He just had not expected Virgil to get so upset over it..

 The IT student called it and shut the lamp.

Despite the warmth in the bed and another person in it, he felt horribly lonely.

  It took him ages to fall asleep.

 Figuratively.

[anabe23bookwormstuff]

A deal Chapter 16

(Something, I won't tell you what, is waiting for you in this chapter so... please keep reading. I know you'll like it)

Four of the guards that were standing there moved out of the line, one pushed the man away and the other were now pointing their guns at the other guards, the ones that had held Ben and punched him.

Queen Zorya took the saber from the man's hands and walked towards Ben who was now barely standing thanks to two of her soldiers.

Rey ran up because she couldn't trust that she wasn't planning on hurting Ben too.

But then noticed that she was only cutting Ben's ties, and allowed Rey to get to him and help him, even handing her the saber.

"Listen everyone!, this isn't okay. You've came here motivated by rage, by fear, by a false sense of justice and I am here to tell you that you are all wrong." The crowd started arguing and booing the queen, all but the people from Naboo.

"Careful" a guard came to help Rey held Ben as he almost collapsed on the floor. He was trembling and cold sweat covered him, Rey was being extra careful not to touch him where he was injured.

"Do you want to sit down?" she asked but he made a small sign that he wanted to stay standing.

"The man you see, is not Kylo Ren. He's not!" The queen started explaining. "I have witnessed many times the diference between him and Ren, all of you, who's planets have used his help or Rey's have probably seen it too. This man, has only seek out to help you, restore the peace in the galaxy and traveled around to find and stop the ones trying to bring the First Order back. He has only been kind, since I know him as Ben solo, he is the son of Leia, the leader of the resistance and the nephew of Luke Skywalker!. He has never mentioned that he wants to rule the galaxy, or has intentions of it, he hasn't harmed anyone, and I'm telling you right now, that I am not okay with the way he's been judged." She walked closer to Ben and inhaled looking at his wounds.

"Do you think that Kylo Ren would ever allow for someone to do this to him? He wouldn't even have the decency to admit his mistakes, let alone allow anyone to touch him, punch him or treat him like this. He didn't hurt the gards taking him down, punching him or even this man" she called for her guards to bring him close.

"Cal Tenn, Senator of Neomy, you've harmed this man for your own pleasure and put people against him without even giving him a chance. You won't rule anymore and sent away. As for Ben, he has Naboos protection and I insist that all of you, kings, queens, senators and people give him a chance. I think his blood and wounds today are a bigger and clearer proof than anything I can say to you that he is NOT like Kylo Ren and judging him like that would be unfair"

Rey decided to talk and get this over with as she could sense Ben was about to pass out.

"You've given troopers a second chance, you claim to want me to rule, you want the galaxy to be better, just as much as we want it to be. We've went to help youwhen you call for us and not once have we done anything but good, Ben included. Every single time. I won't rule if you dare to hurt him again and he doesn't have to prove anymore that he is not Kylo Ren!"

Soon the queen ordered her guards to send everyone home, scolt the royals to their planets and send Cal back to Neomy where she had already made a deal with the people to change Cal for an old friend of hers as senator, and took Ben to a room with medics to tend for him.

Even when the queen had said the would protect Ben, Rey didn't trust her or anyone, and she never left Ben alone. The only time she got distracted was when Finn and Poe got in the room and hugged her.

"I mean, it probably wouldn't give any of you a very good image with the people but why didn't you fight back? Why did he let them get him like that? Is he even going to be okay?" They bombarded Rey with questions.

"I guess... he just wants to proove his not bad. And, he should be okay, in pain for a few days but I could help him." she remembered when he cured the ugly wound the troopers had done to her on her arm.

"And are we staying in Naboo?" Finn asked.

"For now, he doesn't have the strenght to go out and I don't want to risk anyone attacking us if we get out of here but you guys can go back to the base" she offered.

"Maybe one of us should go..." Poe said, after all he and Finn were the Generals.

"I can go and be back tomorrow, I'll also let you know it the other planets have said anything about this."

"Okay... " Rey sighed and leaned back on the wall looking at the nurses do their job cleaning and stitching Ben.

"I'm sorry he got through it Rey" Poe said.

"Did you know he would come?" she suddenly asked.

"Hey! no, no, no. I know you're looking for ways to express your anger but this time I had no idea he was planning to come to Naboo" he hurried to explain.

"I'm sorry" Rey whispered closing her eyes for a second.

Poe gently pulled her to his chest.

"You're hurt too Rey"

"This is nothing" she dismissed him.

"You should rest"

"I'll rest when they're done with him" she said opening her eyes again.

"I'll look for the droids. Good luck" he said and got out.

Some minutes later the nurses were done and bowed their heads a little to Rey before getting out of the room.

Ben was now alone on the big bed, his chest was bare except for the bandages here and there.

She slowly went to sit beside him and made a quick recall of his injuries.

She gently placed her hands on his arm and took a few breaths, directing her force towards him, but stopped when she realized that he would probably want to keept the scars. Her force had already healed him a little, but not enough. So she decided to lay beside him and wait for him to wake up.

"Sorry, keep sleeping" Ben said when Rey opened her eyes.

He had taken her hand which woke her up.

"How are you?" She asked instead.

He shrugged in response and they both laughed a little.

"Maybe we'll actually end up having to stay at the lake house" he commented.

Any other day she would've smack his arm for that, but she didn't want to hurt him anymore.

"Why do we always have to end up getting hurt?" She sighed placing her head on his shoulder.

"We like the rush" he jocked.

"You should be more angry and  with less energy for your jokes" she said.

"Don't worry, I feel better thanks to someone" he looked at her side ways.

"You noticed? I stopped when I figured out that I had to ask you first" Rey started apologizing.

"Well... I didn't ask you that time and you were a hundred times worst. But, don't do it now, you've helped me enough and you have to keep your strength."

"Meh, like I'm using it for anything else this days" she commented staring at the ceiling.

Slowly she felt Ben pulling her towards him, to his chest. She tried to pull back becas she didn't want to hurt him, bt fighting back would probably hurt Ben, so she gave up and rested there as careful as she could.

After a while she raised her hand and gently caressed his arm.

Then they went back to sleep again.

"Poe is coming today" Ben told Rey as they trained.

Why were they training? because they  didn't have anything else to do. They've already gone through the house a million times, and just laying in bed was something none of them were used to.

"Really? and why do you know and I don't?" she asked dodging Ben's saber and running up a stone to jump over.

"Because you were sleeping" Ben smirked landing beside her and they kept swinging their sabers.

"You two just love keeping things from me" she accused him and used the force to move some plants between her and Ben.

It slowed him down and she ran away as fast as she could.

She had to admit that this forced break was actually being enjoyable.

She sensed Ben's strength the moment he lifted the ground she was walking on a little, making her dizzy and almost trip, she giggled and kept running.

If she fell then she fell, and she'll get back up and they'll keep fighting.

"Surrender" Ben said in a deep voice appearing in front of her and pointing the lightsaber at her.

She stopped running and raised her saber too.

"No" they kept fighting until Ben tripped on a trees root and fell backwards. Rey took her time laughing before she went to help him.

"You know, you're laughing but I could've have died" Ben said trying to supress his laughter.

"Oh, shut up" Rey said extending her hand.

"Seriously, my wounds" he signaled his whole body and they both laghed. His wounds had healed one or two days ago.

"Do you think we should go back?" Rey asked crossing her arms.

"To the palace? maybe to take a shower, to the base... if they don't know where it is"

"The palace is fine by now" she said and they started walking back.

Rey sometimes had to wear the clothes that the queen had given her, which were mostly dresses and today she had worn her last clean pants.

After she and Ben took a shower they got dressed and met downstairs, in the dining room.

"Lady Rey" Ben jocked bowing his head a little when he saw her.

Rey had asked for the clothes to be as modest as posible, and people in Naboo had a different concept than her about it.

(I don't know if in star wars they would call it this, but that's how it's called in real life so you can all imagine it okay? okay, thanks. Apologies if I got anything wrong.)

She was wearing a long blue cheongsam dress, with an intricate embroidery and jewels on the sleeves.

"Shut up" she answered, eyeing him up and down.

He wore a red shirt under a blue and gold hanten jacket and blue pants. The collar of the shirt allowed Rey to see some of his chest. He looked too good.

"I wonder how people in Naboo don't cook to death with all the clothes they wear" she commented turning to see out the window.

"Me neither" Ben said and they were both distracted  by the sound of a ship landing.

"Poe!" Rey greeted him. Behind him D-O and Chewie were coming off the ship.

"Hey"

Ben was walking a little more slow towards them because he wasn't sure how things were with Chewie.

"Hi, Ben" the droid stopped at his feet and said.

"Hi"

Rey took Ben's hand and walked with him to meet the others.

As they walked Poe had to admit that the clothes and everything, it seemed like they were kings of this place.

Poe hugged Rey and shook hands with Ben, and then Chewie came close. He wasn't too expresive with Ben but at least this time he didn't push him or screamed at him.

"Come on, let's talk inside" Ben said. He noticed that some of the servants were coming and going, probably getting everything ready for them to eat. He had let them know earlier that they were waiting for more people.

"Chewie it's your third plate..." Poe whispered to his friend, ho grunted in response.

"Once in a while it won't hurt anyone" Rey commented.

"I'm afraid that he won't remember that at the base we don't have this food" Poe argued.

"When things settle and the base doesn't have to be so secret anymore, or maybe people start moving to other planets, we can get batter for everyone" Ben suggested.

It shouldn't but it always amazed Rey, and Poe, and ... even more Chewie, when Ben talked like this. When he tought about the others and assured with his words that he was thinking of doing something to change their condition for good.

"Maybe" Poe said.

"How are the kids?" Ben said. He was the first to finish his food, but Rey knew that it was because he had ordered a smaller portions so the others had more.

"Oh yeah, the kids. I sometimes forget that they're there. They're okay, but we don't know exactly what to do with them. Jannah proposed to look for their families and in cas they have someone we can take them there, if not... well, we don't know." Poe answered.

"And what do they do everyday? they still run around?" Rey teased.

"Well, we have like fourthy kids at the base right  now, so, some run around, some build things... some ask adults to teach them things... it varies. Talking about kids, Leda gave me this for you" Poe said reaching inside the pocket of his jacket and extending a folded paper to her.

She unfolded it and smiled looking at the drawing.

It was her with her yellow saber in hand, a head a little too big for the body the girl drew and the two moons of Hakuji behind her.

-I miss you Ray. Come bak soon.- the paper said.

She showed it to the others.

"Yeah, I miss that girl too" Rey admited.

"We can go back soon... right Poe?" Ben said.

"It... depends. Cal has been finally replaced and the queen convinced the other not to put you in trial... and as much as I don't think that anyone is going against her, I don't think Rey has an option either" he said grabbing his neck nervously.

"Option... abot what?" she asked.

"They are still set on you ruling Rey" Rey sighed shaking her head and leaning back on her seat.

"Come on... I shot lightnings at people, I've never asked for this and made clear that I didn't care. Why. are. they. still pressing?!"

"We have to talk to the queen, let's not just jmp into conclusions." Ben said.

And as if they had summoned her, a guard knocked on the door. He came to tell them that the queen requested to talk to Rey.

Obviously all her friends followed her.

"Only a year Rey, just one." The queen said. She was sitting on her throne as Rey stood in the stairs and the others rested on the walls around them.

"But... why-"

"There's not a single person who hasn't heard from you. Not one. They all know your power and that you've saved them for the First Order and Emperor Palpatine, Rey, No one is going to say no to you"  the queens voice had a seducing, calm tone. Patient like she was willing to repeat this to Rey until she understood it.

"Then... I want to rule with Ben" Rey knew that in no way they'll allow her to do so.  If they had taken so long to allow him to live, they wouldn't hesitate to argue about him ruling.

"Okay"

"And I won't-. Wait... you said okay?!" Poe and Chewie turned to look at Ben with questioning faces, wondering if that had been something he planned, but he looked as surprised as them.

"Okay. If thats what you want, then okay. But, you can't make it public, and you still have to listen to what we tell you" Rey couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Rey... don't be afraid. You'll help us rebuild the galaxy, only for a year, and then... you cna do whatever you want. Go wherever you want to go, rest. It's fro a good cause and we'll be here to help you." she stood up and walked close to her, taking her hands.

Rey studied the face of the queen. She should only be a couple of years older than Rey, but her bright red cheeks and the glitter covering her eyes and part of her face made it hard to be sure.

She wanted to believe that the queen had good intentions. After all, she had been the one stop Ben's torture and offer them a place to stay more than once.

"Ben Solo, come." she called out later, still holding Rey's hands.

Chewie pathed Ben in the back to go forward, because Ben didn't react.

He walked up the stairs ans stopped a couple bellow them.

"Here, come on." She extended her hand to take Ben's.

He turned to look at Rey and then got close. Instinctively he and Rey held their free hands together.

"Ben Solo, are you willing to rule beside Rey?"

"How is that fair? you didn;t leave me any choice" Rey argued.

"Please don't interrupt" the queen said and looked back at Ben.

"Is she marrying them or something? what the hell is going on?" Poe murmured to Chewie as they leaned on the wall.

"If... Rey wants me to, then I'll do it" he answered.

The queen placed Rey and Ben's hands together and then asked Rey.

"Are you sure you want him to rule with you?" Rey looked at him and for a second her vision of her in the sith throne with him flashed on her mind. She squeezed his hand a little and saw his eyes.

He was nervous, because he hadn't seen her desition coming and to be honest Ben would prefer to forget all about thins things and just go around the galaxy being a pilot, but for her, he'll stay and try to be the best.

Rey nodded.

"I do" she said.

"Chewie explain this to me" Poe pressed, they ha dnow walked closer to hear and see them better.

Chewie cried in response arguing that he didn't understand either what was going on.

"Then, tomorrow we'll meet the others and give them the good news. Your majesties" the queen smiled at them and let their hands go.

For some reason their hearts were beating faster and they couldn't stop feeling... linked as they walked back to the lake house.

"Guys mmm not to be intrusive but... exaclty what happened there?" Poe asked.

"I don't know. I'm the queen? Leader? wahtever now" Rey asnwered dodging the real question.

"No, Chewie. We're not married" Rey explained after her friend spoke.

"The queen was just making sure we were... not lying and willing to take the throne" Ben said.

"Sure... sure it was" Poe said.

"You're staying the night right? Please stay for the meeting and then we can all go together" Rey said to her friends once they reached the house.

"What do you think Pal? Another day eating like kings?" Poe said.

After they showed them their rooms and had dinner they retired to sleep.

Rey was having trouble sleeping and got out of the room as quietly as possible, careful not to wake Ben.

"I supposed you'll be here" A voice said behind her. She had come to the balcony, where you could see the moon and the lake, and it's noise helped her relax.

"I'm glad I didn't wake you up" she answered. She covered herself more with the long red robe she had. It had been at least an hour since she  got out here.

"I can sense you're afraid" Ben said standing against the railing but leaving Rey her own space.

"A year can go very slow..." she said tracing the pattern of the fabric on her clothes.

"But after that year, you are free. And I will help you with anything you need" Ben rubbed her cheeck and then let his hand fall.

"What if I'm not sure what to do next?" she asked. Their bodies had slowly came closer and now their shoulders brushed.

Rey sensed nervousness and excitement coming from Ben, and then he took her hand.

"I don't know how people are supposed to do this, I don't even know if I should ask for this right now but... Rey" he exhaled.

She searched for his eyes.

"When this is done, and you've chosen what to do, and if you still want to be with me... I- would you...? How did my grandfather do this?!" Ben got cuaght in his words and chuckled in embarrasement.

"Ben..."

"Marry me, Rey" he said, suddenly being serious and holding her hand above his heart.

[cupidmarwani-archive]

(3/13)

Once Ethan leaves, things kind of speed along. Sarah’s entire schedule becomes consumed by wedding planning. Cake tasting until she’s sick to her stomach, choosing floral arrangements from the flowers approved by Jenia for the wedding, approving decorations for the cathedral, getting her dress fitted and adjusted and embroidered. She doesn’t have time for anything else, and it feels strange to have no one to talk to except Natalie. Ethan’s the only other friend she has, really, and with him gone, the palace is lonelier than ever.

But at least she sneaks some of the tasting cakes to Natalie to share, as well as take up some time with anything other than this horrible wedding. If she’s busy, Sarah wonders how her staff must be feeling; evidently, they didn’t know this was coming either. Suddenly having to create a wedding must be stressful. Tiers of cake, a dress, decorations befitting a royal wedding. That’s not even beginning to cover the specific requirements that the guests will demand. 

Somehow, she’s found herself caught again in the weight of responsibility. Sure, this opulence is affordable to her, but the rest of her people, including those in her staff, often struggle to make ends meet in any capacity. They’d never be able to get a dress like this at the drop of a hat, perfectly form-fitted to their bodies to make them look as stunning as possible. Show off their body to someone who will soon control them. 

“What do you think he'll be like?"

"I don't know."

Natalie sets aside her cake to help Sarah into the dress and sew pearls onto the bodice. There's no one else she would trust with a needle so close to her skin; Natalie has never pricked her, nor ruined a design.

She pauses to change the thread color of her needle and shrugs. "I heard that the Bekker family can be a bit stuck up. But your husband will just be a figurehead, you won't have to spend much time with him."

In theory, sure. Sarah looks at herself in the mirror, admiring the cut of the dress and the freedom the slacks beneath the skirt give her. She feels freer than in her coronation dress, even if this is symbolic of a trap she may never be able to free herself from. At least she’ll still have Natalie and Ethan, and before she knows it, she’ll be queen and no one will be able to force these decisions on her ever again. She’ll be able to choose for herself, finally, and make better decisions for their people. 

And as they’re putting finishing touches on the dress today, Sarah knows that her betrothed is going to be here tonight and they’ll share a meal in the dining hall, something far too rich that she won’t even enjoy. Her husband will. And then he’ll have to keep getting fancy and terrible meals that she won’t be able to eat until she eventually wastes away and there’s another selfish airhead in charge of the people. 

She still can’t believe she’s getting married in two days. 

Just as Natalie finishes one of the last pearls added in, she gives Sarah a smile and helps her out of the dress and pants. “You should get into your dinner gown.”

“Help me with it?”

“Of course.”

Natalie takes the stunning maroon dress off its hanger and helps Sarah step into it before lacing up the back. She wishes, not for the first time, that she had clothes that were actually practical, not just for everyday wear, but for getting dressed and undressed without help. The dinner gown has been waiting for a formal dinner for months, and it’s a little painful that Sarah didn’t see this coming. Why else would her father commission a new dress like this for her without explaining himself? It’s beautiful, but it’s another beautiful trap.

“You’re going to get through this.”

“Am I?”

“You are.”

She takes down Sarah’s loose ponytail and quickly pulls it back into a braid. Nothing too fancy, but more presentable and out of her way. Good enough for dinner, and if her father has anything to say about it, she’ll scream until he finally keels over and dies. It’s taken him long enough already.

Sarah winds up the second to last person to arrive to the dinner, announced by her title and surrounded by faces familiar and less so as they bow and curtsy to her. One after the other as she walks by before standing in front of her chair at the head of the table. Staring down to the empty seat at the very foot of the table. Six seats on each side of the table will separate them when her betrothed arrives. They’ll have to look at each other. She’s got no way out of this, and she has a brief thought about just standing up and leaving. 

But then.

“Introducing Lady Ava Bekker.”

Lady.

Her head is spinning. The herald steps to the side kindly, letting in Lady Bekker and showing off the way she seems to glow. A pale blue, mermaid fit dress glitters like her waves of golden hair, her glossy lips alluring when she smiles along with her slow, deep curtsy. She’s beautiful. And Sarah wonders how bad it would actually be to marry someone like her. It’s a face she wouldn’t mind waking up to on an early morning.

But that doesn’t negate the political motive behind this or the fact that Lady Bekker was chosen for her, and can’t be someone good for her in the long run. No matter how stunning her smile is and the way she so delicately picks up her glass of wine and brings it to her lips.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Your Highness,” Lady Bekker says, and her voice is like honey with a warm, forgiving drawl. “My name is Ava.”

Sarah hums in response instead of really responding, and the smile drops off her face. The frown is beautiful too, but in a more painful way that makes Sarah look down at whatever decadent, painfully rich pasta dish was dumped in front of her by a server. She has no appetite, certainly not for this traditional dish or the second course from Jenia, but there will be no escaping this meal, even as her father glares at her over a sip of his water for being rude. 

“Your guard tells me you draw?”

“Sometimes.” Was Ethan just talking about her the entire time? Did Ava ask? “I don’t have much time for it.”

There’s a weak smile on Ava’s face again. “Perhaps you would be willing to show me some of your work after supper?”

“No.”

An advisor gives her a dirty look. Good for him. They can force her to get married to someone she’s just met, but they can’t force her to be happy about it. Even if her betrothed is a beautiful lady of the Jenian court who has an absolutely addictive voice. Sarah looks to Ethan at her right for help, but he’s looking at a guest of Ava’s. Nice, but relatively inexpensive clothing not unlike what the palace workers here would have for special occasions. Dark hair and blue eyes, an easy grin that turns rather sharp at the edges when he meets Ethan’s eyes. She’d put money on them sleeping together by the morning after the wedding. 

“Then maybe you could show me your city tomorrow? It seemed beautiful, and I would love the chance to speak to you before the wedding-”

“No.”

Ethan kicks her under the table. She kicks him back harder with the point of her heels. She cannot wait to take these things off tonight and just lay down and forget what’s happening. Maybe someone will bring her a drink tonight to help in the process. Anything to try and distance herself from this, especially when Ava raises a hand up and flicks it. 

“Leave us.”

Her entourage all obey, but Sarah’s look to her. She gets to make this decision, even if Ava’s entourage technically should have awaited her response as well. “Ethan, stay.” And so the rest leave, and Ethan’s hand goes toward his hip defensively. Just in case. Always ready to protect her in the worst-case scenario.

“You seem tense, Your Highness.”

“I was ambushed with a wedding a week before it’s supposed to happen.”

Ava tilts her head to the side and stands up, slowly walking the length of the table. “Ambushed? They didn’t tell you?”

“Did they tell you?”

“As soon as it was decided, months ago.”

If she covers her face with her hands, maybe it’ll all go away. But she knows it won’t, especially because Ethan clears his throat to remind her she’s not alone, somewhere safe to break down. She has a guest.

“Look, Your Highness, I’m sorry that this happened to you, but-” Up close, Ava is even prettier, and her hand is warm, laying it over Sarah’s. “Shouldn’t we make the most of this? I mean, if we’re going to be married, we should at least get to know each other a little, and your kingdom is stunning-”

Sarah stands up swiftly and smooths down her dress. “We’re getting married for politics. Don’t make it more than it is.”

As she leaves, Ethan trailing behind her, she knows she’ll be getting the lecture of a lifetime tomorrow, but it doesn’t matter because she’s not going to be swayed into this arrangement by a pretty face and a dream to kiss someone so beautiful.

@bipeteypie​ @one-chicago-hell​ @bookreader525​ @sarahreeese​ @sextonsharpwinhalstead​ @isthiswhatshameis​ @jorgerules​

[sallyannthearts]

Hugo

In Loving Memory of Hugo

I’d just woken up with a tried motivation to live in the moment in spite of the ongoing confinement. 24 days it has been for now and still counting. Fun, our days can be fun, even if my future seems very hazy. I danced about the kitchen making myself a cup of coffee. Waking up with a positive spirit these days was a little harder but today was going to be a movie marathon day where I treated myself to some couchpotato luxury.

Then I heard the news. Hugo, my dog of 13 years, had just left us for Dog Heaven.

The words on my phone were composed into a direct arc to my heart. My walls came up as I sat down with my partner to call my family. Hugo lived in a cosy garden at my mom’s back in Kuala Lumpur, the hometown that my sister and I had traded off long ago. The only person who was at his side most of the time now was my mother, who was also frequently subjected to guilty treatments by him whenever she left for long holidays. Hugo was used to being on his own by then and seeing people come and go; the lady who spoke not a word of his language but came with good tidings of food whenever his mistress wasn’t around, the postman who dropped letters without getting off his motorbike, the cats who all hid over the wall beside… Hugo must have known not to put his hopes up when it came to seeing me again.

Everyone in the family was somewhere on the other side of the ocean. It took a while to connect. But those short ten seconds were enough to knock my poor defensive walls down. The tears came in a gush as I realised just how much Hugo meant to me. Now I really wanted to see him. I wanted to know what was happening because something was not computing in my head. He was dead? Yes, he was and I knew that this day would come. Still, in the back of my mind, it had always been postponed to tomorrow.

The last I had seen Hugo was during a short trip back for Christmas in 2018. I had spent more time sitting outside on the bench with him; the bench that he already had trouble climbing though it was as low as a stone. Hugo would always ignore me the first few moments, looking away as I called his name. When I tried to pull him closer to me for a photo, he’d looked the other way, almost in a scoff. Hugo had the right to feel as such. Over the years I had forged a distance between us. It didn’t help that we had adopted him during my young adulthood times of crisis, burning with needs to explore the world and its meaning. Nobody stayed put at home during those years, Hugo.

This last time I saw you had been different though, wouldn’t you agree Hugo? I sat outside with you and took many photos of you. I didn’t want to go back inside the house. Mosquitoes came at me but I resisted. I wanted to prolong the time I had with you, even though I kept saying I’d be back and you’d still be there. I sincerely believed you’d still be there. You let me stay, probably knowing too, you and I. You were already so old, your fur was white and marked with everyone’s destined kidnapper; age and death would bind you to them in the end, we denied this secret between us. We sat outside, I hugged you tight, no matter the stench. I hugged you very tightly. You looked at me then and licked my face. I laughed and saw the young Hugo again, the dog, maybe my last which I had unconsciously averted spending too much time with. You never knew how I put a photo of you up right beside my bed. I didn’t desert you, Hugo.

I asked about him over the weeks. My mother reported of his strange new behaviour of sitting out in the rain that he hated and just looking into the distance as he got soaking wet. It was so bad that my mother had to lock him up whenever it poured. Maybe he was being as dramatic as his faraway owner, sending a signal to have us prepared. Still, I didn’t come. And I couldn’t use the confinement as my excuse to not have flown over immediately, not exactly. I was getting worried but ignorance was bliss.

The ritual was there, the ignoring before the accepting. His initial grudge would dissipate as I combed his tattered skin, battered by some dermatological disease that Beagles were prone to. My mother would feed him and I watched him gobble it all up. He was an energetic dog who barked louder than I belted. He smelled food yards away, wrapped in a film-tight plastic without even seeing it.

Then it’d be time to say goodnight, just another day for Hugo. Maybe it didn’t matter that those times were special days when I was only home for a visit. After all, there were times I didn’t even want to pet him as I came home, there were times when he didn’t even see me for months. He was used to his cold mistress, wasn’t he? His incessant barks didn’t quite matter anymore. His skin left a very strong stench, so over the years, the caresses became even lesser. Sometimes, if it had been long enough, I gave him a pet or two before going inside to take a shower; the hypocrite.

This morning he woke up to a troubled stomach but he didn’t complain. Then during a short hour when my mother wasn’t with him, he fell to the side beside the corner of the house near the entrance as if into a slumber. He didn’t even prepare us. I hoped he died in his sleep peacefully. After all the suffering with your skin problems and old age, I really hope you took that last breath tranquilly.

I’m sorry, Hugo. I was just a passing figure in your memory. I sat down to write this, hoping to conjure back memories of us but I can barely. I only know that your passing is resurging tears inside of me. I loved you, Hugo. I love you, my last dog.

[shprka]

Goodbye (a merthur fic)

Title: Goodbye

Pairing: Merlin/Arthur

Written for: MerlinMemoryMonth May 2019

I chose Path 3:  A life lost / A life lived (which I swapped to better fit the story, sorry)

Summary: Reincarnated Arthur and Merlin revisit places from their youth to finally put the past to its rightful rest. Their final stop is the castle where everything started. Or at least what was left of it

Read under the cut or on AO3

Arthur tried focusing on his surrounding - the humming of air conditioning, the steady clicking of heels from the corridor, the insistent buzz of a stray fly, the deep breaths next to his ear.

No matter how much he tried the sleep wouldn’t come. He stared at the ceiling, unseeing, mind wandering.

So much has changed since he died.

Arthur had had a hard time to adjust to this new world. He got so much to learn it was only better that he had a - not always patient - teacher to guide him through all of it.

Of course there were the hard days, when Arthur locked himself in their room and refused to deal with any more technology for days on end. But after a year those days were few and far inbetween.

Most days he was happy, content. WIth the man he loved more than the world itself on his side throwing insults and endearments on him in equal measure. With the weekly therapy sessions, dealing with the abuse and emotional constipation he suffered over the years. Changing the view on masculinity, femininity, sexuality and identity day at a time. Learning to be a better man for it. Expressing love, receiving it, cherishing it and sharing it.

He wasn’t perfect, but he was on a right path.

So much has changed since he died.

The world had, of course. Although with the world Merlin has changed, too. He was not the same man he was. Arthur wasn’t even sure he was the man he claimed to be all those centuries ago. Possessing magic, lying to him about it… They even had a few couple therapy sessions with five different couples who all struggled with their relationships. Four of them were married for years, only Merlin and Arthur and Jamie and Carol young and willing to work on themselves. Tough neither Arthur nor Merlin could be considered young. Merlin was centuries old and Arthur felt like it.

Though seeing other people’s stories put a lot in perspective for Arthur. Some things were done for love and maybe should be forgiven, but not forgotten. But some you had to let go. That’s the natural way of things. Sometimes no matter how much anger and resentment he cultivated in himself there was no point in holding a grudge against someone whose motives you could finally understand so clearly.

Yeah, Arthur was getting so introspective there days, who would've guessed.

As much as Arthur changed himself, became a part of this new era that he learned to accept and even love, he prided himself more in learning about Merlin more than anything else. What he’d done for so many centuries. How he stopped anticipating Arthur’s return at some point - which Merlin was reluctant to admit but Arthur understood. There is so much faith you could put into a dead man and an uncertain prophecy.

Merlin had lives on his own, many of them, all filled with friends and lovers, happy and joyful. But as an immortal man it could not last forever and he had to bury them, so many of them, or sometimes run away from them, just to keep a memory of them, unblemished and full of life. The choices he made were not always the right ones.

He liked to joke about getting immortality, because he needed so many centuries to finally stop being an idiot. Arthur laughed and agreed not to ruin the mood not because he agreed.

He thought Merlin’s immortality was a curse. But if it was it would’ve stopped working a lot time ago. Merlin explained to him that the magic was slowly dying, but as long as he was standing it did not die completely. Though Arthur found him many times clutching his heart, crying for the slowly dying traces of magic across the world. Arthur held him steady and silent at those times, not knowing what to say.

They did not talk about Camelot at first. Not a single word. Merlin did not say and Arthur did not ask. And his therapist wouldn’t be too thrilled if either of them would start to talk about how they were the legendary King and Sorcerer as their names suggested. She was not qualified to deal with that, though Arthur would like to see her face after. Dr. Strauss had exactly one expression and Arthur always appreciated her no-nonsense attitude, especially when dealing with him. Merlin deemed her a bit too harsh, but that was exactly what Arthur needed at the time.

And there they were - 12 years later, a bit bruised and battered two parts of one whole who finally fit together. There was the last thing from their past they still didn’t deal with - and it was high time to finally put the last of their past to rest.

They fought about it on the beginning, but finally came to the same conclusion. The people and places they knew stopped existing so long ago and the only one who knew them all by heart was Merlin.

Merlin became Arthur’s guide through all of this. Firstly they started with the end - with this damn lake, this damn mountain he killed Mordred on. Slowly, they made their way north through Wales.

They lived in Wales for a while, when Arthur still was getting used to this new era. Merlin wanted to live somewhere outside of Cardiff, but with easy access to trains and such, because Arthur for the longest time couldn’t sit in a car without getting an anxiety attack. Trains were easier somehow, and it proved to be a good opportunity to observe people living their normal busy lives. Arthur learned to be invisible and in the end he quite liked it, not getting recognized by anyone, not being bothered and being made to perform his kingly duties.

Royalty was still there and the head of the country was Queen Elizabeth, an old lady and a public figure. Though the country was run by the Prime Minister and parliament. And other countries - when had the world gotten so big? - didn’t even have kings or queens and everyone were believed to be equal, which of course upon closer inspection wasn’t the case.

Merlin hated politics and explained only the basics, but Arthur followed the news religiously complaining about things and idiots that were today’s politicians, frustrated he wasn’t able to change the world. Though he enjoyed his freedom too much to give it up and get intrigues and stabbing in the back again.

Anyway they’ve bought a cottage and lived for the longest time near the past they tried to forget. Merlin was always fond of this place, because he still could feel magic coursing through those lands, thrumming with energy, flowing through Merlin back to the earth and air and sea. The Crystal Cave, which Merlin once told him about, the source of all the magic in the world, was located somewhere within the country, Arthur guessed as much, though Merlin never confirmed it.

What Arthur never thought about is that they were for years so close to the places lost and Merlin carried that burden alone.

It was the last stop on their long journey and it was 2 hour drive from their first real home, their little heaven they spend the quietest slowest days in. They haven’t visited the place, they sold it mutual agreement that its time has come and they did not want to find out if the elderly couple that bought it from them was still enjoying it.

They booked a small room at a hotel, though it was a hotel only in name. In was one of those traditional places that was all about the real authentic medieval experience - of course without pissing in a bucket, rough sheets and with air-conditioning on. It was more like a tavern. Which was strangely fitting, Arthur had to admit. He wondered if Merlin did it on purpose.

Arthur let out a quiet laugh to himself, which was enough to wake Merlin up, though as lazy as he always was he was slow to wake, eyes still closed, burrowing into Arthur neck and sighing heavily, before his body went slack again.

Arthur though he’d gotten back to sleep, but then he heard a quiet huff, and words rasped against his shoulder, “I can hear you thinking, you know.”

“Oh, so you’re a mind-reader, too now, are you?”

“Prat.” Merlin thwacked him in the chest with open palm, which was too half-arsed a blow to do him any harm or to make a point.

“It’s nothing. Go to sleep, love.” His fingers found their home in Merlin’s dark locks, massaging his scalp.

“Stop trying to distract me.” Merlin protested half-heartedly, craning his head into Arthur’s fingers. “

Arthur smiled to himself, “Am I distracting?”

“You know you are.” Merlin grumbled, but then quietly he asked, “Want me to take it away, so you could get a bit of rest? We have a long hike ahead of us tomorrow.”

Arthur debated with himself, if it was worth it. Merlin with a whisper of a words could make him fall asleep without dreams and nightmares altogether. He used to do this after a worse night or two, but they haven’t done it in a while. Though Merlin was right, of course. They couldn’t drive and most of the way over the mountains they’ll have to walk by foot. Arthur needed rest, lest they wanted to relive their past that much and Merlin would have to save him yet again, while Arthur just went ahead not considering his health and generally being an idiot.

“Yeah, alright,” he decided finally.

He closed his eyes and the last thing he remembered was the softest brush of Merlin’s fingertips on his temple.

***

They were walking for about forty minutes now and when they reached an open space, some kind of field, Merlin stopped, hands on his knees and panting heavily.

“Oh, come on, now, Merlin. Don’t tell me you’re tired already.” Arthur laughed. So many years and he still couldn’t catch up with Arthur’s fast pace of walking. Pity there weren’t any horses around.

Merlin hanged his head down, putting his finger up, telling Arthur to give him a moment. Arthur waited with his eyebrows up, until Merlin finally caught his breath and said, his expression apologetic, “We’re here, Arthur.”

Arthur frowned, looking around and well, there wasn’t anything much to look at, to be honest. It was an open clear field, with some flowers here and there. He could see sheep on the fields a mile or so forward, a forest on the left side and…

“Here? That’s it?”

Merlin nodded seriously.

Arthur threw his head back and laughed.

He threw his backpack on the ground, yanked his hat from his head and went a few steps before he threw himself on the grass, not caring a bit about any possible insects and mud. He laughed again, closing his eyes against the sun and that famous welsh wind that made his eyes water on such an open space.

He knew Merlin must think he’s finally gotten mad or something, but he didn't care. Besides they both were just about right amount of mad to put up with each other.

Arthur was so worried. After all they’ve seen. After all the tears they’ve spilled…

They visited their friends graves. They’ve put Excalibur next to Gwen’s tomb that no one would ever find. They’ve spilled the best irish whisky on the rocks that became Gwaine’s grave. They’ve written letters and put them into bottles and buried them for all the knights and friends they didn’t know where were buried. Merlin spent an entire afternoon collecting herbs he put on Gaius’ grave.

No one would ever find out about those places, those tokens Arthur and Merlin put there, because Merlin's magic wouldn’t let modern world to disrespect those people and their story. And Arthur had to agree. One of the worst things of in this century was desire to make everything a tourist attraction, to cash in on everything.

And they’ve let Camelot rest. And let King Arthur and Wizard Merlin be only some legendary characters of public domain now.

It was a great kingdom once, Camelot. And that was the best irony of all that there was nothing left of it now. Not even a rock. Just an open field. Like nature made a point of forgetting it, erasing it from the world.

“Arthur?” Merlin said, still standing next to Arthur’s backpack, as if unsure of coming closer.

He rarely sounded uncertain with Arthur these days and Arthur couldn’t help but laugh. What, he thought Arthur would just kick him in the arse or yell at him that the Camelot they knew was no more? Like it was somehow his fault.

“Come here, you giant idiot,” Arthur said exasperated, patting the ground next to him. And then, because he couldn’t help himself, “Join me in this marvelous castle of mine.”

Merlin snorted and left his backpack next to Arthur’s, sitting on the cold ground at Arthur’s hip. He looked down on Arthur, biting his bottom lip, dark curls escaping his beanie, eyes so impossibly bright and full of love.

“Is the throne too hard on your skinny backside, my lord?” Arthur teased. To be honest some rocks were digging in his own arse cheek and shoulder, but he didn’t give a damn when Merlin laughed and swatted him in the chest not at all gently with a shout, “Worry about your own backside!”

Arthur snatched a hand before it made a next attempt at his life. Arthur tugged at it before Merlin fell on his chest, knees digging into his thighs before he found comfortable position, elbows on the ground on both sides of Arthur’s head.

“You’re a bit of a prat still, you know that?” Merlin’s warm breath on his lips.

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t have any other way.” And Arthur kissed him before he could protest.

When they both came out for breath, they were panting and laughing, before Arthur finally shoved Merlin on the ground next to him, snorting at Merlin’s indignant squawk.

Though he didn’t protest much, not even thrown an insult. He just gazed in Arthur’s eyes, tears slowly forming, before he took Arthur gloved hand and kissed his bare fingertips.

Arthur had no more tears left in him so he let Merlin cry on his own, sometimes brushing tears from his cheeks.

What he had left though was love, so much love. For this man in front of him, for all of their fallen friends and families.

They’ve spend so much time dwelling on the dark times, but they weren’t always dark. Those lost years were filled with love and laughter and smiles and such ridiculous situations that no one would ever believe in.

“Hey, love, remember that time you took off my trousers with your magic in front of my uncle and all the royal advisers?”

Arthur smiled softly to himself, while Merlin sobbed harder. Arthur kissed his hand and thought, ‘We’ll live.”

[madamquacklemore]

Chapter 5 Truths unspoken

a/n apologies for the slow update! In this chapter we will see the motives of the Celts a little more light shed on Tarian’s past and some more FinanxTarian time.This is a direct continuation from chapt 3 Tarian leading Finan away hand in hand. Major S03 spoilers and language warnings

Let's pretend I told you what I wanted Make believe it fell within my reach Would there be a place for what I hoped for? In the end would there be a place for me? ...show me what to do I get by on nothing as long as something keeps me close to you Black lab-close to you

Finan

When she let go to fetch some ale Finan was acutely aware of how much colder he felt,  how he already missed such a simple guesture that it left his hand tingling. By the time she returned with a pitcher he regained his composure.

"Well Finan I may have sworn an oath without knowing what is going on but swear it I did. I've never sworn an oath to one person but I'm fairly sure you don't back out when the going gets tough." she said simply.

Finan ran his hand through his hair and sighed what kind of people were Celts if they didn't believe in oaths and the promise of their honour and word? It mattered little Tarian was in the here and now and what ever she was running from was of little consequence. He debated on reaching for her hand again but instead to the beverage she offered and took a big gulp.

"It's no short story Tarian nor for the faint hearted." he said, for the first time there was no humour in his voice. Where did he even start?

"Do I look feint of heart?" she laughed.

"No I s'pose not. I don't even now where ta begin to be honest wit ya."

"The start. Osferth mentioned you and Uhtred were...well were.." she seemed to struggle with the last of her sentence. He didn't want her pity and he didn't want to feel the shame,  the inhumanity of it all again.

"When we were on the slave ship. " he finished for her.

"Yes." she replied softly.

Finan new sooner or later they would have this conversation it was inevitable. She was running from her past as was he the only difference was it was in his dreams.

"Righ' so Uhtred and another Saxon man by the name of Halig were betrayed and sold to same ship as I under a bastard named Sverri. After several failed attempts we were eventually freed by Uhtred's brother Ragnar under the orders of Alfred. Ragnar and his woman Brida were taken prisoner by Alfred after the Danes were defeated at Ethandun." Finan began. "But the funny ting is if Uhtred had never been sold I probably woulda died on that ship." he laughed bitterly. Finan paused to take another sip. He wouldn't wish slavery on his worse enemies-no that's bloody lie i'd send everyone of those bastards to that ship.

Finan had been looking into his mug when Tarian reached for his hand. There was no pity in his eyes he thanked the virgin mary for but rather something else burning behind those beautiful green eyes that he often found himself lost in. Finan caressed her fingers neither of them letting go as if the very action gave him the strength to continue. Uhtred and himself very rarely spoke of their time in slavery. It was over they had survived it there was nothing else to say on the matter. He continued telling her how he made good on his promise and killed the slave master  how they went on to rescue the woman he later then went on to marry- Gisela the sister of the man who had been responsible for his slavery in the first place. That Uhtred had promised another year's service to Alfred,  how he had given of them a choice to follow him or not. He told her his confrontation with Guthred,  of their journey to Dunholm how he was of Uthred and Ragnar's vengeance and the rescue of their sister.

"I was surprised he didn't kill the bastard. Brida the woman who turned up today she's ballsy I'd say she woudn loved ta of killed him herself. You'd probably like her or wanna kill her. She's that kind of woman." he laughed to himself reciting her nickname for Guthred. The atmosphere was lighter now and she was still holding his hand. "Did the lady Aethelflead tell ya of what happened to her with the brothers?" This part of the story wasn't a necessity nor did Finan feel it was his place to say.

"Yes she had mentioned her kidnapping. Poor woman I can't imagine what that was like. But she earned herself a reptuation that night. Tales of her battle prowess that night spread as far as our lands." Tarian replied. They laughed a little while Finan the great story teller that he was renacting Aethelred after waking up in a pig sty.

"She left that part out!" Tarian nearly choking on her ale. Finan without a moments thought wiped the spittle from her face with a table cloth. Tarian looked down was she blushing or was that the firelight? Did every touch set his body alight as it did his? She held his gaze and in that moment the world ceased to exist.

Laughter from the other side of the room brought them back to reality and Finan continued his story right up until the exchange of Skade for Aetheflead and the cursing of Uhtred once again.

The hall grew quieter and colder Finan had spent several hours telling her the events that lead up to now. She said very little and it seemed nothing could shock her which was a relief but did he expect anything else? She was a warrior after all. These pass months he had made it known he wanted a woman and not just an endless string of tavern wenches at that. Finan new in his heart of hearts he wouldn't be with a pious Saxon woman who'd flinch at the mere sight of blood and now it seemed God had delivered a heathen warrior to their doorstep. Fate Uthred would call it. He watched her get up to stand in front of the dwindling fire. There was something he needed to know of her though.

"Why were your people trying to kill ya?" he asked softly joining her.

Tarian pressed her lips together frowning into the fireplace. "It is a long story and one i am not even sure of myself." She turned round to face him "How did you come by to be a slave?"

He had wondered if she would ask that question and that she had asked it Finan wasn't sure if he wanted to answer it or not. Looking around the hall he saw that most of the men had replied,  "that m'dear is a story for anotha' time. It's gettin' late and we've a long journey tomorra."

Finan offered to walk her back to the room she shared with Liliwen. "It's on me way back anyway." The silence was not an uncomfortable one but it wasn't exactly at empty either. There was so much he wanted to know of her and to tell her. Finan suspected she was the same. He hadn't seen her like this before as if walking on hot coals unsure of what to say, she would open her mouth to speak then close it again and bite on her lip.

In no time at all they reached her room both of them pausing at the door. Tarian had yet to look him in the eyes. "Something you wish to say?" Finan chuckled.

"Sorry? Oh yes goodnight Finan, "she turned to walk away when he gently reached out to her.

"Tarian?" he frowned.

"Yes?"

He closed the space between them in half a step his left hand cupping the side of her cheek thumbing it gently. Those eyes those lips Gently he raised her up to meet his gaze. "Tarian?" her name was all he needed to say. She nodded ever so slightly and his lips came crashing down on hers. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pulled him closer to her. Finan had intended on taking this slowly if she felt the same but that plan went out the proverbial window as she returned his affection with undisclosed desire. His hands dropped to her waist pulling her even closer, working their way up her tunic, his cold hands on her bare skin only encouraged her further. If they kept going at this rate anyone walking by would be sure to find them in a state of undress. Finan didn't care and by the looks of it Tarian didn't either. He could feel himself growing harder,  Tarian was pressed so tightly against him she was was sure to feel it too. Rather than repel her it seemed to driver her on, kisses were faster and her fingers ran through his hair his shoulders his neck it was if she couldn't quite decide where or how or what.

"Tari..?" sound of her door creeping open brought them back down. Finan jumped back as if he had been burned and Tarian flattened her hair and pulled her tunic down. "Tari is that you?" Liliwen's sleepy voice called out her half opened eyes adjusting to the hallway torches.

"Fin?" she yawned noticing the Irishman first on the opposite wall.

"Hello lil one. Did we wake ya?"

"Tar-"

"I'm here Lil" Tarian replied.

"You...late. Dont you go somewhere morning?" she rubbed her eyes,  mumbling in broken English she yawned again.

Tarian crouched down. "Tomorrowing morning. Yes. I am late. It is time for sleep indeed. Say goodnight to Finan."

"Nigh' nigh' Fin." she yawned taking Tarian by the hand she pushed her way back into the room,  Tarian giving Finan wordless goodnight and smile.

Finan nodded and made his way down the corridor after the door had shut. Holy mother of Jesus he thought to himself running his hands through his hair. Oh sweet Jesus.

Tarian’s POV

The sun had not risen but she had woken. Liliwen’s snores had woken her and Tarian marvelled at how someone so small could take up so much of the bed for she was barely able to lie flat on her back without falling off the edge. Tarian smiled to herself touching the lips that had passionately kissed only mere hours ago. What was she doing? Should she even be entertaining this? It was just a kiss. Now that she had a taste of him she new she wanted more as did he that much was obvious. Smiling to herself she got up sleep was not going to come again she knew that and besides there was much to prepare. Tarian dressed herself in the clothes and armour that had been provided for her. Boots and cloak on daggers attached she made her way to the stables and then on to the forest. She would not be warrior nor die a warrior's death without the body paint that showed the gods just who she was.

Tarian had been trotting through the forest her eyes sharp for the isatis tinctoria plant -surprised it grew here- she felt it. Someone was following her. Tarian knew she fought better on her feet than horse back so she dismantled. Were her people still here? Watching her every move? Or was it Danes? The full moon was both an advantage and a hindrance as she made her her way into the thicker woods. They were so close now. So close she could nearly here them breathing. One was certainly within reach but were there more? 1 2 3... She spun round dagger unleashed and it met a Celtic shield. "Tarian!" the voice cried out from behind the shield. Recognising that voice she prepared to fire the second for she had recently aquired a third. Yet she hesitated. "Why are you still here Arthfael?! Come to finish what your assassin started?" she spat. "That was not on my orders." Arthfael replied from behind the shield. "Give me on reason why I should believe anything you say!" "If I wanted you dead child you would be." Tarian snorted. His words were not a comfort despite how true they were. "Put down your dagger child there is much to discuss and very little time to discuss it." "How many more are out there?!" "None I came alone. I have been watching you since you left the estate. I would have killed you already if I wanted you dead." Tarian sighed. She should've known. Arthfael despite his age was one of the best archers in their kingdom and he done her grandfather a great service during his reign. Tarian sheathed her dagger. "Speak your peace." Arthfael lowered his shield taking out the dagger he walked towards her handing it back on the promise she would not attempt to kill him again. "Your assassin has been dealt with." "Who was it?" "According to Arawn it was a warrior of Dyfed by the name of Gwenlith." "Arawn?" Tarian asked Arthfael nodded both of them knew the man was not to be trusted. "Her husband had died in a manner similar to what would have been your fate. You had the good sense to teach Liliwen a thing or two." "Yes it saved my life as did she." The was a pause when Arthfael did not speak  Tarian added. "Is this what you risked your life to tell me?" Arthfael laughed "No child. You are being watched. Every step you make." "So order them home." "While those currently here are mine more will come. Everyone has an interest in the kingdom's take over since the death of the your grandfather. You should now your mother's brother has fallen." "What? How?!" "Illness." "Illness?!" "It is suspicious yes. His heir was is too young and your uncles are now fighting for the throne. Everyone is looking for you as your marriage may will settle the dispute." "Marry one of my uncles?! How would me marrying settle any of this?" The very thought disgusted her but it was not unheard of in their lands. "It's not just your uncles who see take over. There are others from Gywnedd and Dfyed who all say they have a claim." Tarian scoffed at the idea. "And for this I was nearly killed?! Surely I am not the only woman with an apparent connection to the throne eligible for marriage?" "No you are not but you are the best prospect. You battle prowless has garnered much attention not to mention your father." Tarian stared at him stunned. He had never mentioned her father before in fact no one had mentioned him-ever. How Tarian came to be about on this earth was never spoken of. "My fath-" "Yes the great Jarl Jurgen. You didn't think it was chance those Danes were able to take you did you?" Tarian remembered the events of that day and had at some stage realised it was a trap. "So it was a set up by whom and why?" "I have some theories." Arthfael sighed "But the most plausible one is that your father offered a great reward for your return and whoever had organised this clearly got wind of it." "Why would a great Danish lord want his bastard child-a woman at that- from a slave that badly?" "You are not a bastard." "I-I'm wh-" "You are not a bastard."  Arthfael replied. "Explain. Please." her voice was barely that of a whisper. "After your mother was taken it was sometime before negotiations begun. As typical with Danes they asked for too much. Your uncle Merfyn who had inherited our land from your grandfather declined. He knew he was going to have a fight on his hands to keep his crown so he told the Danes no." "Shit eating coward." "I offered to rescue your mother. I said I would shadow walk-I believe the Saxons call it? And kill everyone of them. Merfyn wouldn't allow it. Your mother was my greatest friend and her brother wouldn't even let me rescue her." "Probably worried about the threat if she married or-" "Exactly. We had many battles in the upcoming weeks two attempts on his life directly. By the time I could get to your mother she was pregnant with you. I journeyed to their stronghold and waited days and nights I knew how much she loved the forest-you are so much like her" he reached out to rub her hair. "She was picking berries with your father and his guard. She was happy laughing stroking her swollen belly as did he. I left her a message on the tree and she came one night alone. Your beloved mother told me she had been free to leave a long time ago but chose to stay. She knew the political upheaval and despite your brother quite happy to leave her in the hands of the enemy she did not wish to endanger his life or rule by returning. So she stayed." "She's a better woman than I. I would have had his head." Arthfael laughed "Well you are part Dane." "So the night we were rescued." "You weren’t rescued. Your mother loved her husband that I am sure of. I went bac once or twice to see her always in secret of course. You were both so happy and healthy. You look so much like her in beauty and in battle.That temperament however" he teased as they both laughed. Tarian's face sobered "Then who is responsible for her death? And why is my father only coming for me now?" "I know not but I shan’t rest ‘till I find out. As for your father well you are now of age and perhaps he has heard of the threat to your life. Who knows of his reasons? One thing is for certain you cannot ignore this forever." A twig snapped in the distance. Footsteps approaching. Arthfael held his arms up in the air as he felt the end of a sword in his back. "I am no threat to you Saxon." he said in their language to the surprise of Tarian but what surprised her even more was the man on the other end of that sword. "Who are you and why are you in the land of Mercia Celt?" The voice belonged to that of Uhtred of Bebbanburg. "He is a friend Lord." Tarian replied yet Uhtred still had his sword pointed at the elder's man back. Should Arthfael resist Uthred would kill him. Tarian eyes wide stared at Arthfael silently pleading with him. The older man was quite unpredictable but he was not stupid. Surely he knew resisting against the land's greatest warrior could only mean death. "Correct me if I am wrong Tarian but was it not your own people who tried to kill you?" "Yes Uhtred it was-but not on my orders" Arthfael said exasperated. Tarian wondered if he was starting to tire of saying that. Uhtred looked to Tarian who nodded. "Is there any danger to the lady of Mercia or those who reside with her?" "Believe it or not Dane Slayer  the Celts have no interest in your activities provided they stay on this side. The perpetrator has been dealt with I have no quarrel with you or those under your protection and it is mostly my people that watch these woods." "Why do you linger?" "Has Tarian sworn an oath to you?" Arthfael asked Uhtred ignoring his question. Tarian who was beginning to get annoyed with them acting like she wasn't here responded. "Yes Arthfael I have sworn an oath to this man and I will not go back on it. Liliwen is to stay she is safest here they have sworn to keep her safe." Uhtred looked and Tarian with surprise. Did he honestly doubt her? Tarian felt hurt rather than offended at the thought. He still did not trust her fully. "Yes you are right." Arthfael replied. "Liliwen wouldn't come willingly. She is happy?" "Yes." "Then I will leave. I have said all I need to say. I will withdraw with my people and head back home." As Uhtred lowered his sword Arthfael went to embrace Tarian he whispered in her ear "You will have to face your past eventually. I can only keep them away for so long. They will never stop as long as you are still breathing." He kissed her the way a father would a child and retreated to thicker part of the forest. Even though the sun was rising Arthfael disappeared almost instantly in the shadows. Uthred raised an eyebrow at Tarian she would have a lot of explaining to do. "Why were you out here lord?" she asked as they headed back to the forest. "You ask me that question?" Uthred asked almost teasing. "I could ask you the same. I could not sleep and saw you heading to the forest. I was curious." he added. "You do not trust me do you?" "I trust you more now. What did the man say to you?" Tarian told Uhtred that likewise she could not sleep either and of what Arthfael had said to her. She delberately left out the part of her father not wanting to cast further doubt over her loyalty. "I would be lying to us both if I said I didn't expect this. Our kingdoms have always been at each other 's throats. More so than Danes or Saxons they do not hesitate to kill their own blood. My grandfather was the one who inherited the great kingdom of Gwynedd and Powys thus ruling over the majority of Wales. There are lesser kingdoms who naturally were not happy with this." "Well on the upside Tarian should you perish in the battle to come it will no longer be your problem." Uhtred laughed as they mounted their horses. Tarian glared at him. "I will as you one more thing" Uhtred added. "Yes?" "It is about Finan." Tarian blushed and looked away. Had Finan told the men about their passionate embrace outside her door? Probably he is a man is that not what men do? Boast of their conquests? Why did she believe him to be any different? Was Uhtred going to reprimand her? She had been silent for too long. "What about him Lord? "I saw you both in the hall yesterday evening. Normally I wouldn't intervene in these types of things with my men-warriors-" he corrected himself. "But he is one of my dearest friends and a good man. I ask you for his sake should you become his woman and he your man that you do not keep him in the dark about this he will need to know if he is to remain at your side." Tarian paused for a moment looking at the lord trying to remember what had happened to suggest anything. The grabbing of his hand when he wiped my face.. And what of Finan? Do I truly desire him that much? To put his life in further danger? Tarian cursed herself for being too forward. He did not mention the kiss did that mean Finan didn't tell him? "Should it go any further I will tell him what he needs to know." Tarian replied after much thought. "Does this mean you approve?" "I do not disapprove." Uhtred shrugged. "Speaking of good men my Lord Finan brought me up to speed in regards to everything with this curse. I offer you my condolences for your brother lord that and the head of this Norse witch." Uhtred smiled sadly and looked  towards the gate they were now approaching. "My thanks for your offer Tarian but I must be the one to end her life if I am to end this curse."

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