#if you NEED to change something literally listen to the the Tumblr Users you pretend you cant hear

[ghostespresso]

staff logging on to tumblr dot com today

[wolfstar-in-color]

July Colorful Column: Remus is a Crip, and We Can Write Him Better.

There is one thing that can get me to close a fic so voraciously I don’t even make sure I’m not closing other essential tabs in the process. It doesn’t matter how much I’m loving the fic, how well written I think it is, or how desperately I want to know how it ends. Once I read this sentence, I am done.

It’s written in a variety of different ways, but it always goes something like this: “You don’t want me,” Remus said, “I am too sick/broken/poor/old/[insert chosen self-demeaning adjective here].”

You’re familiar with the trope. The trope is canonical. And if you’ve been around the wolfstar fandom for longer than a few minutes, you’ve read the trope. Maybe you love the trope! Maybe you’ve written the trope! Maybe you’re about to stop reading this column, because the trope rings true to you and you feel a little attacked!

Now, let’s get one thing out of the way right now: I am not saying the trope is wrong. I am not saying it’s bad. I am not saying we should stop writing it. We all have things we don’t like to see in our chosen fics. Maybe you can’t stand Leather Jacket Motorbike Sirius? Maybe you think Elbow Patch Remus is overdone? Or maybe your pet peeves are based in something a little deeper - maybe you think Poor Latino Remus is an irresponsible depiction, or that PWPs are too reductive? Whatever it is, we all have our things.

Let me tell you about my thing. When I first became very ill several years ago, there were various low points in which I felt I had become inherently unlovable. This is, more or less, a normal reaction. When your body stops doing things it used to be able to do - or starts doing things you were quite alright without, thank you very much - it changes the way you relate to your body. You don’t want to hear my whole disability history, so yada yada yada, most people eventually come to accept their limitations. It’s a very painful existence, one in which you constantly tell yourself your disability has transformed you into a burdensome, unworthy member of society, and if nothing else, it’s not terribly sustainable. Being disabled takes grit! It takes power! It takes a truly absurd amount of medical self-advocacy! Hating yourself? Thinking yourself unworthy of love? No one has time for that. 

Of course, I’m being hyperbolic. Plenty of disabled people struggle with these feelings many years into their disabilities, and never really get over them. But here’s the thing. We experience those stories ALL THE TIME. Remember Rain Man? Or Million Dollar Baby? Or that one with the actress from Game of Thrones and that British actor who seemed like he was going to have a promising career but then didn't? Those are all stories about sad, bitter disabled people and their sad, bitter lives, two out of three of which end in the character completing suicide because they simply couldn’t imagine having to live as a disabled person. (I mean, come on media, I get that we're less likely to enjoy a leisurely Saturday hike, but our parking is SUBLIME.) When was the last time you engaged with media that depicted a happy disabled person? A complex disabled person? A disabled person who has sex? No really, these aren’t hypothetical questions, can you please drop a rec in the notes?? Because I am desperate.

There are lots of problems with this trope, and they’ve been discussed ad nauseam by people with PhDs. I’m not actually interested in talking about how this trope leads to a more prevalent societal idea that disabled people are unworthy of love, or contributes to the kind of political thought processes that keep disabled people purposefully disenfranchised. I’m just a bitch on Tumblr, and I have a bone to pick: the thing I really hate about the trope? It’s boring. I’m bored. You know how, like, halfway through Grey’s Anatomy you realized they were just recycling the same plot points over and over again and there was just no WAY anyone working at a hospital prone to THAT MANY disasters would stay on staff? It's like that. I love a recycled trope as much as the next person (There Was Only One Bed, anyone?). But I need. Something. Else.

Remus is disabled. BOLD claim. WILD speculation. Except, not really. You simply - no matter how you flip it, slice it, puree it, or deconstruct it - cannot tell me Remus Lupin is not disabled. Most of us, by this point, are probably familiar with the way that One Canonical Author intended One Dashing Werewolf to be “a metaphor for those illnesses that carry stigma, like HIV and AIDS” [I’m sorry to link you to an outside source quoting She Who Must Not Be Named, but we’re professionals here]. Which is... a thing. It’s been discussed. And, listen, there’s no denying that this parallel is a problematic interpretation of people who have HIV/AIDS and all such similar “those illnesses” (though I’ll admit that I, too, am perennially apt to turn into a raging beast liable to harm anything that crosses my path, but that’s more linked to the at-least-once-monthly recollection that One Day At A Time got cancelled). Critiques aside, Remus Lupin is a character who - due to a condition that affects him physically, mentally, emotionally, and intellectually - is repeatedly marginalized, oppressed, denied political and social power, and ostracized due to unfounded fear that he is infectious to others. Does that sound familiar?

We’re not going to argue about whether or not “Remus is canonically disabled as fuck” is a fair reading. And the reason we’re not going to argue about whether or not it’s a fair reading is because I haven’t read canon in 10-plus years and you will win the argument. Canon is only marginally relevant here. The icon of this blog is brown, curly haired Remus Lupin kissing his trans boyfriend, Sirius Black. We are obviously not too terribly invested in canon. The wolfstar fandom is now a community with over 25,000 AO3 fics, entire careers launched from drawing or writing or cosplaying this non-canonical pairing. We love to play around here with storylines and universes and races and genders and sexualities and all kinds of things, but most of the time? Remus is still disabled. He’s disabled as a werewolf in canon-compliant works, he’s disabled in the AUs where he was injured or abused or kidnapped or harmed as a child, he’s disabled in the stories that read him as chronically ill or bipolar or traumatized or blind or Deaf. I’d go so far as to say that he is one of very few characters in the Wide Wonderful World of media who is, in as close to his essence as one can be, always disabled. And that means? Don’t shoot the messenger... but we could stand to be a tiny bit more responsible with how we portray him. 

Disabled people are complicated. As much as I’d like to pretend we are always level-headed, confident, and ready to assert our inherent worth, we are still just humans. We have bad days. We doubt our worth. We sometimes go out with guys who complain about our steroid-induced weight gain (it was a long time ago, Tumblr, okay??). But, we also have joy and fun and good days and sex and happiness and families and so many other things. 

Remus is a disabled character, and as such, it’s only fair that he’d have those unworthy moments. But - I propose - Remus is also a crip. What is a crip? A crip - like a queer - is someone who eschews the limited boundaries placed on their bodies, who rejects a hierarchy of oppression in favor of an intersectional analysis of lived experience, who isn’t interested in being the tragic figure responsible for helping people with dominant identities realize how good they have it. Crips interpret their disabilities however they want, rethinking bodies and medicine and pleasure and pain and even time itself. Crips are political, community-minded, and in search of liberation. 

Remus is a character who struggles with his disability, sure. But he’s also a character who leverages his physical condition to attempt to shift communities towards his political leanings, advocates for the rights of those who share his physical condition, and has super hot sex with his wrongfully convicted boyfriend ultimately goes on to build community and family. Having a condition that quite literally cripples you, over which you have no control, and through which you are often read as a social pariah? That’s disability. But using said condition as a means through which to build advocacy and community? Now that’s some crip shit. 

Personally, I love disabled!Remus Lupin. But I love crip!Remus Lupin even more. I’d love to see more of a Remus who owns his disability, who covets what makes him unique, and who never ever again tells a potential romantic partner they are too good for him because of his disability. This trope - unlike There Was Only One Bed! - sometimes actually hurts to read. Where’s Remus who thinks a potential romantic partner isn’t good enough for him? Where’s Remus who insists his partners learn more about his condition in order to treat him properly? Where’s sexy wheelchair user Remus? Where’s Remus who uses his werewolf transformations as an excuse to travel the world? Where’s crip Remus??

We don’t have to put “you don’t want me” Remus entirely to bed. It is but one of many repeated tropes that are - in the words of The Hot Priest from Fleabag - morally a bit dubious. And let’s face it - we don’t always come to fandom for its moral superiority (as much as we sometimes like to think we do). 

This is not a condemnation - it is an invitation. Able-bodied folks are all but an injury, illness, or couple decades away from being disabled. And when you get here, I sincerely hope you don’t waste your time on “you don’t want me”ing back and forth with the people you love. I’m inviting you to come to the crip side now. We have snacks, and without all the “you don’t want me” talk, we get to the juicy parts much faster. 

Colorfully,

Mod Theo

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[rainbowvamp]

If Gwaine had a Tumblr but was also in love with Percival, Elyan, Gwen, and Merlin all at once.

I made up a bunch of Tumblr user names. So... if you recognize the URLs that's an accident.

-----

Gwaine’s tumblr, but only the sad posts:

—

Their hands. By the gods their hands. I’d kill a man to hold one.

—

They smiled at me today, just me. We shared a joke and I know they share jokes with others but ours are special.

—

To all the assholes saying I’m being too sentimental on main, just block me. I literally don’t care about you I just want to write crappy posts about the loves of my life. Fuck off.

—

Watched them rip their shirt entirely on accident because their muscles are too big. They kill me.

—

Blue has never looked this good I swear. I’ve seen a thousand skies and never been as enthralled by them as when I looked in their eyes.

—

They have someone else who makes them happy. I’m happy for them. I’m also incredibly alone.

—

Anonymous said:

Your posts are so beautiful. I’m sorry your person doesn’t see them.

killedaknightonce said:

I’m not.

—

People keep coming into my inbox and telling me I write beautiful things and my person should be lucky to be loved by me. And I should just confess because maybe they love me back.

I’m a mess and literally no one deserves that. Turning off anon until y’all quit 👍

—

Gonna stand in their wedding today. Wish me luck mates.

Reblog: god they’re gorgeous. They absolutely deserve this.

Reblog: to everyone asking me their gender. Stfu

Reblog: wedding's done. They’re married. Thanks to everyone for being so kind.

—

Anonymous said: we love you. Remember to take some time for self care. I watched my best friend get married when I loved her and I know how much that sucks. Hang in there. 💗

Killedaknightonce said: I’m getting pissed

—

To everyone telling me to watch my drinking so I don’t accidentally confess. Fuck you I can hold my liquor.

To everyone telling me to take shots. Cheers.

—

You know, at least when I’m this hung over it doesn’t hurt to know they’re having wild honeymoon sex right now, probably pillow talking about how much they’ll enjoy the rest of their life together.

I’m not bitter.

—

I’m super bitter by the gods.

—

Kiss cams with your spouse is cute, but I would pay that camera operator to accidentally put me in with them. They would kiss me as a joke, but I would be fine with that.

--

Happy Beltane. I am going to drown in mead and find a lovely person to fill the hole in my heart.

reblog: why are all of you so nasty?

#never change #bunch of dirty freaks

--

They are the kindest, sweetest, gentlest person I have ever known. Even turned me down with complete and utter grace. What the hell do they see that that blonde himbo that they couldn’t have from me?

#yes i’m bitter it’s fine #i just love them so much

—-

a friend saw the app open on my phone and asked for the URL. Should I make a fake account so they don’t see this. Yes. Am I going to? no. it’s self destructive hours.

If you’re reading this, it’s definitely not about you

—

They. Just they.

-

@/everyone. I got roped into a holiday party and was pressured into bringing a date. Anyone in the X area want to pretend to be my partner?

#This is not a joke #I promise not to fall in love with you #This is how a lot of fan fiction starts isn’t it?

Reblog: You are all way too excited about this.

Reblog: I found someone, stop sending me asks.

—

themurderousenchantress said: I had fun at the party. Why didn’t you ever say that you were in love with 4 different people? I always thought you were just in love with one nonbinary person.

killedaknightonce said: choke

notarobot111 replied: Super aggressive G, you okay?

Killedaknightonce replied: @/notarobot111 I know her. She deserves this.

themurderousenchantress replied: It was only a small trick. And I never even lied.

killedaknightonce: withholding your identity in an attempt to trick me is a lie.

Themurderousenchantress: I didn’t attempt. I succeeded.

Killedaknightonce: choke

—

@/themurderousenchantress would you like to be buried in the woods or dropped in the ocean when I murder you?

Reblogged by themurderousenchantress: I’d actually like to be placed on a boat and have it be set aflame by a burning arrow, if it’s all the same to you.

Reblogged by thefriendlygiant: please don’t kill @/themurderousenchantress.

Reblogged by sonofawizard: you know, I would actually not mind you murdering her, but there’s no need.

Reblogged by killedaknightonce: how many people did you give my url to, you traitorous witch? @themurderousenchantress

Reblogged by themurderousenchantress: say my name boys @/travelandtribulations @/knightedagainstmywill @/cottagecorefruitbat

Reblogged by cottagecorefruitbat: Morgana, you’re being cruel. Stop this. I’m not going to go through your blog Gwaine, I’ll make sure Merlin doesn’t either.

Rebloggedby travelsandtribulations: way to dox us Gwen.

Reblogged by cottagecorefruitbat: Literally every single one of you has your names in your bios shut up Elyan. Percival, please keep your husband in line, you know he doesn’t listen to me.

Reblogged by thefriendlygiant: Why do you think he listens to me?

Reblogged by themurderousenchantress: You have the power to withhold sex. If he’s not listening to you, it’s because you’re not doing it right.

Reblogged by killedaknightonce: I’m muting this thread. I hate you Morgana.

—

Update: polyamory

#I’m not good enough for them but I don’t care #I have never cared about something less than I care about how I’m not good enough for them

Reblogged by themurderousenchantress: you’re welcome

Reblogged by killedaknightonce: choke

Reblogged by sonofawizard: it’s good to see some things never change.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

sometime in this last week, or this week coming, my blog has turned/turns 10. god. a decade old. a whole ass chunk of my life i’ve spent on this hellsite. when i began on here, i was a kid. a lost, lonely, depressed and anxious 15/16 year old kid. a kid scared of her future. a kid confused about her future. what to do for uni. to change schools or not??? to do drama/acting at uni or english/philosophy or to move 8hrs away to another regional uni to “escape” her “washed up, dead end hometown” that was so typical of all the pop-punk music that she was listening to at the time.

she was a tad overdramatic, loud, “funny” (as described by her school friends) and terribly forgetful in regards to homework and school assignments. she was angry at the world, most especially the catholic school she was fucking sick and tired of attending. but she was convinced that since she was the so-called “funny girl”, that she simply couldn’t be depressed or anxious. she believed herself unloveable because she didn’t look like a weird mixture of hayley williams and emo-pop queen lights. but now, i no longer believe that i have to look like the women that i looked up to in the ~emo scene~. fuck beauty standards. i am loveable.

in the years since joining tumblr, i’ve managed to get through business college, my undergrad degree and, well, failed out of postgrad due to obvious burnout and health issues amongst other things. although i’ve lost many friends irl and many followers/mutuals online on here. for those who’ve stuck around to see me get through all of this, thank you. to all the friends/casual mutuals that have since deactivated or only followed me for a short time then unfollowed; thank you.

like obviously i was never/have never been a massive popular blog on here, like thebootydiaries or vampireapologist (who has since deactivated a couple of months ago) with tens of thousands of followers. my follower count is still close to the 8,000 range at 7,892. obviously that’s still a lot of people (and of course, porn bots lmao and many, many non-active blogs), enough like one super old post from like 2012 tumblr pointed out, enough for a small to medium sized city or town, or something like that. i don’t know how many people i’ve really reached. i really don’t know how i actually amassed this small army of people.

i am aware though, that on other platforms like snapchat (lmao does anyone even use it anymore in 2021???)/instagram/youtube/tiktok etc, i’d PROBABLY be considered as some type of ~micro influencer (🤮🤮)~. hell, i actually had a bot slide into my notes about being one on here on this hellsite back in 2019. i don’t know if i’ve ever actually ~influenced~ anyone on here with my shitposts (when i started making some) or my personal posts. i don’t know my reach. even though, now, i do occasionally get featured on buzzfeed listicles (although pay me buzzfeed along with the OPs of those original embedded posts), i still don’t know how many people i’ve reached… and even with my very occasional checks of google analytics lmao. on top of this, grappling with the loss of followers at times is much, much easier than it was when i began on here and the first few years following that. i know that my follower count doesn’t determine my worth and stuff.

but over these 10 years, i have grown. i turn 26 this year. back in 2011, 15/16yo me never thought she’d be here. she was partially down the suicidal thoughts hole, with things about ~picturing her funeral and wondering who’d bother to turn up. if only she could pretend to be dead for a day to see who’d give a fuck~ and 16-18yo me was defs down it with her HSC hellscape thoughts in 2012/2013. that 3rd floor tafe/tech women’s bathroom window drop and the thought of scarring her class for life (and that cool dude from catholic school that she crushed on who ended up at tafe with her) with jumping out of it onto the concrete below. instead, she just posted on fb about ~being a failure~ etc which ultimately did lose her a bunch of facebook friends lmao. it was practically the same thing. her mental breakdown after the end of her hsc, where she let her earrings go green and get infected in her ears because “fuck self care, bc what the fuck is it??? i’ll never get better! let me fucking wallow in my self loathing bc it’s the only thing that i’m fucking good at!!!” so i no longer have my ears pierced. oh! it was just all too fucking much!!

i am happier today. i no longer have those semi-suicidal thoughts. hell, i almost died in 2020 from a fucking bowel aneurysm, after my stomach tumour excision surgery. that forced me to put things into perspective. i appreciate the little things . i appreciate the very few friends that i actually have. yes. i’m still depressed and anxious. some days are still shitty and hard. but nowhere as hard and shitty as they were back when i began on here 10 years ago.

how the fuck last 10 years have gone past, with my ass on here; clearing out my blog and caring more about doing that than my uni work (lmao whoops); having made some lifelong friends both internationally (from the US) and long distance domestically in australia, it’s been a long ride; i honestly have no fucking idea. obviously over these past 10 years, i’ve debated with myself over and over and over again whether i should delete/deactivate this account or not. would it make me healthier??? more than likely. but then when i have meltdowns or just inner ramblings i have to get out somewhere, where else to post??? on fb?? obvs not. it’s “attention seeking” or the like on there. no one will read them. no one will resonate. but on here??? even if i got/get one “like” in the notes or one “yo i feel this” response in the tags or replies, it feels like i’ve reached someone??? okay yeah. i know this place IS NOT therapy and i’m not using my followers as amateur (or probs even actual professional) armchair psychologists…. which is a thing i think people need to stop doing internet-wide: but that’s a whole other post that i reblogged a few days ago lmao. i really need to get another therapist, actually lmao.

but it’s the community i’ve found hard to leave. i have what feel like friends, when i’ve never been employed (still as of yet); and when all of my irl friends/acquaintances are working and doing the whole ~adulting~ and ~grown up life~ thing right. it’s also the frenzied rabidness of spite with hating staff’s godawful ideas. the memes. oh the memes. and also the RaWrInG 20s XD emo scene reemergence on here that’s kept me here. the messy petty drama from time to time of big blogs fighting it out.

this place really is bizarre and fun sometimes. and also the fact that i can still hide behind the ridiculous “roaring pikachu” URL that i made all those years ago. i am anonymous. it’s freeing. but on fb it’s all like “WHY WONT YOU ADD A BANNER IMAGE AND TELL US 20 FUN FACTS ABOUT YOU!!!!!???? LET PEOPLE WHO HAVENT SPOKEN TO YOU IN 10 YEARS KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU BECAUSE WE’RE ALL FRIENDS HERE!!!” and the same goes for Corporate Hellscape Facebook™️ (linkedin) but in the professional sense instead. y’all know fuck all about me really. besides my posts. and i love that and live for that. okay yeah. y’all know more about my mental health than my fb feed obvs… which is probably a terribly unfortunate thing. but still.

over the last 10 years then, my superiority complex for being ~so original and intelligent~ or whatever the fuck i had in high school, has all but ebbed away. i’m not that smart just because i went to uni. hell, i literally did NONE of my in-class work and none of my philosophy readings in uni….. so i have fuck all idea of how i got through undergrad like that lmao. i’m not original when so many people can articulate the same thoughts that i have, but like, sometimes better, on a post (even though sometimes/most of the time the Tumblr User Hot Takes Tuesday™️ takes on here are fucking awful lmao). but still. originality is not something i really have anymore. or really had in the first place lmao.

so will i deactivate after these 10 years, like i’ve been saying for so, so long??? i honestly have no idea. but just know. thanks guise. have a nice gpoy selfie day XD. grab your wands. your tardises. grab your war paint. grab your whatever the fuck other fandom specific stuff that was one that hella cringe post from 2011 til 2015 random tumblr. that relic is as old as time itself. just as this mysterious roaring pikachu is for someone whose too loyal to leave this W E B B E D H E L L S I T E that’s just as much of a train wreck as she is. lmao.

[monsterdoodles]

Thoughts on Steven Universe Future 3/28/2020

I wanted to write this last night, but there was just so much information to go through.

Spoilers Ahead

Homeworld Bound: I watched the episode when it came out on Cartoon Network’s website. I had planned to go see it in theaters, but that was canceled.

The gems in this episode are very concerned for Steven right now, because he has been missing for days. It must have be a surprise to see him with Jasper walking out of that bathroom. She continues to address him as “My Diamond”.

Steven seems to have run out of people to turn to in this crisis. He feels like he can’t talk to the gems anymore, talking to Connie would dredged up too many feelings, he’s lost his connection with his dad, and now he’s even hurt/killed Jasper. With no more connections, he turns to the Diamonds.

Homeworld is now more colorful than ever. All kinds of gems run around the throne room and there’s even tours of the palace. There is an upcoming election between the two Zircons we met during the trial.

Spinel is on this tour (has she done this before and does she do it all the time? Or is this the first time she’s decided to do this?). There seems to be no ill will towards Steven, and most of what plagued her during the movie seems to be gone (I’m not actually sure how “fine” she is. When Steven asks “What’s wrong with you?” she responds “The usual”. So I would possibly say that not all of her issues are resolved but at least she has the diamonds to support her). After explaining his gem troubles to her, Spinel takes Steven to see the diamonds.

This whole sequence of events felt very fairy-tale-esque. Something about visiting three people to solve a problem, with three very different approaches, except in a fairy-tale the third approach is what usually works.

Yellow can fix any gem and change their form, but the root of Steven’s problem isn’t physical. Blue can make any one happy, but Steven’s problem isn’t exactly emotional either. It’s deeper than surface level emotions, it’s trauma and a lack of a support system. White’s new ability is to let others control her and in a way this amplifies the voice of the voiceless and this can allow gems to talk to themselves. Steven, while controlling White, tries to shatter her, or at least has an intrusive thought about this. This sequence could be interpreted in many ways however, he might have been trying to hurt himself, or White, or Pink, or even all three.

Disturbed by what he did, he leaves. He asks Spinel how she got rid of her “vengeful thoughts” (because that’s how he felt about White, himself, and Pink in that moment). She tells him that she met him and that he told her that she could change. Steven does not want to hear his own advice anymore.

With no more answers or solutions than he started with, Steven leaves homeworld, leaving his sandal behind. Many have pointed out that Steven usually has lost a sandal (in bubbled and bismuth) when he is mistaken for Rose. Here, I’m not sure he’s mistaken for anyone.

So the diamond’s powers are all the opposite of what they used to be. I’m not sure why I didn’t put this together until Tumblr user its-a-gemfact pointed this out, but Pink’s powers were destructive, but she chose to be a healer instead. I think it’s the backwards reveal of all this that had me not thinking about this in its chronological order.

When this episode ended, I was unsure of where he could go. Would he run away all together? Where could he possibly go?

Everything’s Fine: Steven takes the route of denial to try and move on.

Connie calls him and he continues to deflect. He doesn’t want to admit that he’s struggling or that he has hurt anyone. His thoughts about this broadcast on the tv. When he turns it off, he sees his diamond eyes in the reflection for the first time.

So he decides to act like nothing happened. That he is the old Steven and he can just go on with his life without confronting any of this. He looks to the old painting of himself and Garnet in Poolhopping. There he is depicted as an angel. That’s what he want to be. He (unintentionally) yells “I’m fine”, this shatters the glass of his window.

He literally runs away when the gems try to talk him about this. He decides to go to little homeschool again, because it’s the place that he has felt the most needed before.

He crashes Peridot’s horticulture class. Volleyball is there and we don’t get to see whether or not her eye healed. Steven inserts himself into the lesson and offers to perk up some of the plants. Him doing so causes many Plant Stevens to grow and they just run around little homeschool telling people that they are there to help.

It looks like Garnet is some kind of marriage counselor now, so that’s interesting.

Steven then decides to “help” Bismuth at the forge. Blue and Yellow Pearl are there as well as the Crystal Gem Pearl. They are forging “wedding armor”. Is it Yellow Pearl that is getting married or is she merely a model for the armor? When doing the detail work on the armor, Steven splits the anvil in half. He can no longer do delicate things. This is because his stress management is not going well and his body just thinks he is always in danger.

He leaves to find some gems and Onion playing baseball. He joins and catches a ball that almost hits the Heaven and Earth Geodes. For once, one of his plans almost goes right. He lets out a cry of relief and joy, but this destroys the buildings around him. He says he can fix it. He and the plant Stevens begin to move the debris.

When he returns home, the Crystal Gems, Greg and Connie are all there. They confront him about how he’s been acting like he’s okay when he clearly isn’t. He’s even been subconsciously broadcasting a cry for help to Connie’s phone.

Steven has a great monologue here. He talks about the mistakes he’s made these last few episodes, the fight he had with his dad (normal he says), breaking the anvil, the vengeful thoughts towards White, and shattering Jasper. He calls himself a fraud. “How did I keep getting away with this?” He says that he will just continue to make mistakes and fix them forever and ever. He concludes that he is a monster and from within him a monster bursts.

I have felt (and sometimes still feel) like Steven here. As someone with ADHD, my days can just feel like one big series of mistakes.

I Am My Monster: Steven feels like a monster, so he is one now. He doesn’t rampage through the city though. He seems more or less confused and afraid of this new form.

The Crystal Gems, Connie and Greg do not want to hurt him. A plan of attack is never formed. They know that he could potentially damage beach city, so they need to restrain him or return him to his human form.

The B team and the Diamonds (plus Spinel) show up as well. All of these people have had their lives very much effected by Steven in a very positive way. Even the Cluster shows up.

Everyone tries a multitude of ways to restrain and help Steven. Nothing seems to be working and they all try to blame themselves, but as Connie points out, that made the situation about themselves, not Steven. She tells them that they need to show that they are there for him now.

They all give him a tearful hug and tell him all the ways he has helped and now they are there to help him.

“Steven, you must have been so afraid to show us this side of yourself, but we’re not going anywhere. We are all going to take care of you the same way you take care of us. You know what? I don’t have your powers but” and in true fairy-tale fashion, he is transformed by a kiss.

I quoted Connie here, because she said it the most succinctly. This is what Steven needed to hear. This has been a lonely season for him. His family has always been there physically, but him hiding away his problems and feelings distanced them from him emotionally. She didn’t tell him he was or good or that his mistakes are without consequence, she just told him that they would be there for him.

When he becomes human again I think he’s afraid that he has hurt someone. He cries into Lion’s mane. That crying was realistic. I’ve heard people cry like that and I’ve cried like that. It is a great way to end an episode like this.

The Future: Steven has a therapist, finally.

Steven has decided to leave and tour all 39 (apparently) states. He wants to know where to live now.

I’ve seen some have qualms with this. I do too in a way. But in the defense of the show, he does still have his support system back home, he has solid plans to continue to see his friends as well as Connie and there’s always warp pad and Lion to bring him back.

He gives the gems some homemade cookie cats to explain his leaving. They all pretend to take it well. This makes him feel like they don’t care. He goes to the B team and they give him a tearful goodbye. Peridot finally gets to wear an appearance modifier that doesn’t meld to her body.

Jasper, who seems to be living in Little Homeworld now, tries to go with Steven. For a moment, I thought he was going to say yes. She is still addressing him as Diamond, but she does ultimately decide to stay.

Greg helps Steven pack up and Steven gives Greg his room. Steven is leaving like his dad once did and Greg has finally settled back into a home. Steven, however, plans to visit again. The gems and his dad are still his family.

Steven hugs everyone goodbye, for the first time. He and Connie seem to officially be an item after all this time. She plans to meet him at one of his first stops. (Also among his earlier stated plans were college tours with her). He starts to drive away, but he’s still bothered by the fact that the gems did not give him a tearful farewell. He puts the car in reverse and lets them know this. They were afraid of holding him back. Of course they are sad and upset, but they are still his family and this isn’t goodbye forever, it’s just a change.

He finally leaves and it seems that the whole town is out with a farewell banner too. He listens to Being Human as he drives off.

While there is a part of me that wishes some other characters could have gotten more screen time or that some other things could have been wrapped up, the other part knows that this is Steven’s story. Rebecca Sugar has talked about the theory of the sublime before. That when you have a story that goes on without showing it, when the audience takes that story and makes it their own, it becomes sublime. So when the fans inevitably write their fanfiction about Steven’s travels, Jasper’s time at little homeschool, and about the myriad of other character and things they could possibly do, this becomes sublime.

I’m glad I got the watch this show from the very beginning. I’ve met some great people online and irl because of it and it has inspired me and will continue to do so.

[pastryjay]

I wish people would understand that their attempts at being ‘woke' are usually useless at best or hurtful, often to minorities at worst. I honestly think that most people on here who preach about politics and wanting to prove how awful some people are don't care at all about helping people.

I have 4 main points/ examples to make about this. i'm sorry I couldn't put a read more break, I can only use Tumblr mobile.

1. Children dying is never something to want or celebrate

Sometimes people enjoy celebrating the deaths of bad people e.g. terrible politicians and billionaires. That in itself is not a bad thing, those who knowingly exploit others are often better off dead. This does not make it okay to wish death on anyone who is even remotely connected to bad people. A recent popular tumblr post saw a user celebrating the deaths of billionaires except that wasn't all they were doing. One of the events they celebrated was posted with this screenshot:

Yes. A person was knowingly celebrating the real deaths of two children along with other people on the flight e.g the pilots just because 1 (one) person on board was a billionaire. That is fucked up and you should agree. Similarly i've seen people explicitly saying they think the children of the British Royal family should be beheaded because of the family they were born into. Yes the British Royals have a host of issues too and i'm not a fan of them but that's never a reason to wish for toddlers to be literally brutally murdered, you sick fucks! Don't hate people for the family they were born into. I wouldn't hate a gay friend after I found out their father is homophobic. A child is never responsible or should be made to suffer for a parent's shitty actions.

2. Stop pretending bad things don't happen to fit a narrative.

Look. Minorites/ women aren't always perfect and good people, claiming they are both erases the experiances of victims of abuse and puts more people at risk by entertaining the idea of no danger.

Calling abuse 'straight culture' is bad because not only is abuse not a problem exclusive straight couples but lgbt couples are more likely to face abuse. I'm not straight and I don't give a shit about hurting straight people's feelings but acting like lgbt folks can't be abusive and don't face abuse in their relationships is partly why abuse is more common for us. If we don't know to look out for abuse, we may not know how to avoid it. Abuse in lgbt relationships is a genuine problem that shouldn't be ignored for jokes. People being abused shouldn't be joked about at all.

The same applies to thinking you're woke by treating all women as good and pure and all men evil and bad. Not all abusers are men and not all victims are women. In the UK more than 40% of domestic violence victims are men. But even the govenrment ignores this to some extent and treat male victims as lesser. There are 7,500 refuge places for women in England and Wales but only 60 for men and men are arrested and prosecuted at a disproportionately higher rate.

3. Don't focus on hating people who hurt others when you could be helping those who have been hurt.

There is way too much focus on calling out and hating people who do bad things e.g. are lgbt-phobic, racist or abusive compared to helping those who were hurt by that person/ group. Don't get me wrong, those who are bigoted deserve to be told they are wrong and should be punished and you can both call out people while helping those hurt... but most don't. If your only way of 'helping' trans people is calling out J.K Rowling, you're not helping. If your only way of 'helping' black people in response to police brutality is posting 'fuck the police' to tumblr then although your message is not wrong, you're not helping. If you hear that an individual or group has been hurt, your first thought always should be 'how can I help them?' Your response to hearing how black people are treated should have more focus on supporting black owned businesses, getting help for victims, listening to black people, supporting black creators, if you can donate to those who need it, support black politicians/ those who want to make a change e.c.t. That all does way more to help than just hating people, even though they deserve it.

4. You don't ever get a free pass to be racist, lgbt-phobic or a general asshole because someone did (or might do) something bad.

Never, ever insult someone's natural appearance, physical or mental disabilites, sexuality, gender/ gender identity, religion or weight because you don't like them. If a gay person said something racist, call them out for it but that is not an opportunity to call them a homophobic slur or attack their sexuality. Their sexuality is irrelevant to the argument and being homophobic in response simply makes you homophobic and no less homophobic than if it was directed at someone for no reason. I don't care if an overweight, unattractive person did something bad, don't insult their weight. All that does is show everyone else who is overweight that their weight is something bad enough to deserve shaming for. In the end acting like this hurts more people than it helps. I remember a post going round which involved a picture of two fat people and the OP decided to take the photo and post it with insulting comments because apparently they 'looked like Trump supporters'. No evidence, no reason, just judging based off their weight and looks. That's not woke, that's awful.

~

Anyways there are a host of other problems with internet 'wokeness'. These are just four points I don't see much concern about. All four are caused by people who use a being woke as an excuse to be horrible to others. They don't care about the cause they're supposed to be fighting for, they either simply enjoy being horrible and want a way of getting away with it or want to look good without much effort.

In general people need to put more effort into supporting and helping people than putting others down.

[infjingontheroad]

The Types as People I Know (by an INFJ)

INTP

N e r d

doesn’t know what’s going on 90% of the time

literally one of the most learned people I know but always acts like they don’t know even the simplest thing

cinnamon roll

also incredibly humble and always willing to learn more

surprisingly good at sports 

conversations either die in 2 seconds or go on for 21 hours, there is no in between

only wants everybody to get along but doesn’t know how

INFP

F I

not everything in your life wants to challenge your Fi or attack your values, relax mate

super reserved, like, needs a 8-year friendship, two empty bottles of wine, a broken heart and for it to be either 2 or 3 am to finally open up a little

that weird friend with the weird interests™

impossibly unease with feelings, especially other people’s 

has very strong opinions about everything

devoted crack shipper

loyal af, they will die before stabbing you in the back

ENFP

never runs out of conversation topics

head in the clouds 24/7

their Si will remember everything you did wrong forever so think twice before pissing them off

seems random but give them a second and the’ll show you that they were actually on topic the whole time

Your Fi-Te will hurt someone some day, speaking your mind about everything is not always the right choice

a child, a literal child: hold their hand when you hang out because they could literally get lost in a 5 feet room 

ENFJ

thinks they know everything about you even if you never exchanged a word with them 

secretly judging you

the definition of rushing to conclusions cause no, it’s not INFJs: we have been wrong the whole time

will try to save you somehow

you don’t know it yet, but you definitely need saving. just accept it

cute and caring on the outside, shrewd mastermind on the inside

currently tending to 12347876 humanitarian projects but still looking for more

ESFJ

too cute asdfghjkl

always clueless but gets away with it because cute

could befriend a rock

children, they are always surrounded by children

secretly santa

if they haven’t lost every single one of their possessions yet is only because they surround themselves with Te users

transparent and pure in a scary way like, holy shit, how can you wear your heart on your sleeve all the time like that???

will cry because other people are crying

ISFJ

the mom friend™

their Si is scary

soft on the outside, more organized than an obsessive compulsive ESTJ on the inside

most stubborn person I know like, try to change their mind, just try, you won’t succeed, you cannot succeed

would cut off their own hand rather than hurt your feelings

master of small talk

cares for you by micromanaging your life with a smile

Ne will not kill you, if you dye your walls a different color for the first time in 34 years it will not be the end of the world, I promise

ISFP

sugar and spice and everything nice

also long walks in the woods and exercising at first light

restless and peaceful at the same time, they are what I believe nirvana must feel like

you never know what goes on inside their head: mass murder? the cure for cancer? recipes for creative pasta sauces? beats me

cute and genuine, only wants to have a good time but extremely chill about it

has 4.0 gpa but still dismisses it as ‘nothing important’

ISTP

too cool for you™

chill and detached

world war iii and nuclear explosions could be raging outside but they would still have their breakfast, shower, and wear comfy clothes like nothing’s happening

feelings? what feelings? 

their Ti’s laziness saved their life more times than they know

occasionally prone to philosophical conversations

likes to be obnoxious just to be obnoxious but actually cares v deeply about you and your feelings 

ESTP

chill, so chill all the time, give me some of your chill please

how can you trust the moment like that??? how can you rush into things without a second thought?

poker face master 

busy all the time, a free second is a lost second

has no idea what they’re doing but still looks like they’ve got this 100%

likes to muse about abstract concepts but loses interest pretty soon

“relax. everything’s fine” they said before everything started being NOT fine

never listens to elders

procrastinates life changing decisions like a pro

ESFP

the friend you need

will rationalize all of your problems and then take you out for shopping and dinner to cheer you up

outspoken and blunt like o m g you are hurting other people’s feelings!

makes life changing decisions in 2.0 seconds

“i’m bored, let’s do something”

name a tv series. they’ve watched it. name a film. they’ve watched it. name a book. they’ve read it. they do nothing but engage in media consumption

will always pretend they’re fine

works only on Te induced panic

ESTJ

wants you to go straight to the point

could socialize with a rock

meets people they know wherever they go, has probably acquaintances on the moon too

why do i always feel like I did something wrong when I’m with you?

so organized, so reliable, so strong, so emotionally repressed

will panic if things don’t go as planned, Ne is a bitch

surprisingly creative and a very very good listener, also humble

will never ever tell you how they feel

always gets your shit together for you. you are welcome

ENTJ

kinda scary

always wants more, perfection can be perfectioned

takes everything as a competition

they’ve played all the videogames you can think of. name one. they played it, they owned it, they established the new national record

probably a serial killer 

so smart asdfghhjkl

are they serious? are they joking? are they secretly planning your murder? you will never know

every time they smile, a puppy dies

i admire your hold on Se, like yes tell that bitch who’s boss

INTJ

social situation? what social situation?

they know, they always know. they’ve known it all along. listen to them or have them tell you they knew for the next 46 years. up to you

sexually attracted to calendars and planners

they probably own a death note but are too lazy to use it. for now.

systematical nerd

a w k w a r d a s h e l l 

can’t handle conversations with more than one person at a time

has 74 different tumblr blogs, one for each of their various interests. either tags everything or tags nothing

INFJ

everything must have a deeper meaning, things are always a metaphor for something else

probably knows everything about your life dreams and secret fears and ambitions but forgot about your birthday 3 seconds after you told them the date

clumsy af, never leave them alone, they can’t care for themselves

will make people happy at any cost but in their own way with their own time

ends up making people AND themselves unhappy in the process

cannot talk for the life of them but writes beautifully

craves deep connections and tea

wants to save the world someday but is content with just imagining it for now

ISTJ

knows what they wanted to do with their life since they were 4

is slowly getting there

bitter and sarcastic like a grumpy Victorian old lady

hardcore shipper

created 15 power point presentations to prove that JohnLock is canon

gravitates toward chocolate and mechanical pencils

that one fanwriter you adore

has vintage but amazing fashion sense, their hair and makeup is always on point

ENTP

chaotic tsundere 

had a feeling, once 

has currently 459 open tabs and it’s not even the most they’ve ever had

let’s spend the next ten years discussing science together please

always knows the best way to make fun of someone but use themselves as favorite target

played devil’s advocate just to piss people off so many times they can no longer tell when they’re playing devil’s advocate but people still get pissed so everything’s good i guess

“yes but what if-”

doesn’t know where whores go

[nerd-breached-containment]

More shenanigans with Clanmen

And another big one coming:

What the censored does this even have to do with clans? lol

A lot, actually. :’D

And quite frankly, we are unbothered by you telling what makes our clan image really. It's not like people think you even look pretty yourself out here kissing the admins' boots for everything they do.

I can’t phrase what it is, the “we are unbothered by you telling what makes our clan image really“ and “you even look pretty yourself out here kissing the admins' boots“ makes me giggle a lot - y’all can check my Track history (yes, I’m bringing this back) and y’all can view that I only “defended” the Admins around.. 2-3 times during my life, and that’s about it - if y’all check both my Tumblr, Discord, ect, y’all can see that about 90% of the times, I do despise them - I, at the least, know the difference between an Admin and a Developer (this will be brought up again, don’t worry). As for the “unbothered”, about... 6 clanmen of the same clan say otherwise, two (now 3) still show signs of such.

Let me tell you one of the things that irks me the most:

It's that when people basically just complain - telling people off for giving the admins/developers the amount of negative feedbacks that they get, saying: We complain too much; the admins are humans too give them a break; be grateful this game still exists; and negative comments impolite (apparently? :'D)

So.. basically being a normal civilized human being irks you? Like..

telling people off for giving the admins/developers the amount of negative feedbacks that they get: You’re basically saying to continue to bash them for “not fixing x” even though they’re Admins and not Developers, they can’t really fix anything;

We complain too much; the admins are humans too give them a break: While I do agree some complaints are a tad... why and some do need more attention, I really don’t see where’s the bad in the latter, if you were an Admin, you probably would wish people would give you a break after receiving thousands and thousands of PMs; :’D

be grateful this game still exists; and negative comments impolite (apparently? :'D): To this day, it’s the only MMORPG HTTYD game you’ll ever see that’s in a... complete state, until someone makes an upgraded (and better) MMORPG HTTYD game... yeah, be grateful this exist. As for the latter, I’ve seen multiple cases where users spoke with a very unreadable or plain-out negative text and the Admins tried to help them but the user didn’t gave enough information - if you want the Jumpstart Support or the Admins to help you then... write a goddamn decent and polite comment with all the information they need, it’s common sense, for crying out loud.

I mean.. where do I even start?

Listen pal, if we see an issue in the game, as players/customers of the game, we have the rights to be free to speak up about it. Sure, the admins/developers are humans too, but it is what they signed up for, as much negative feedbacks that they recieve, they are responsible and accountable for what it is. And just so you know, the players who complain are actually the supporters of the game, and the more open the players are about the issues in the game, the more support this game gets, because those who complain about the problems are those who care about the game and we address them because we wish to see a better future to the game. So, just because we have bad things to say, doesn't mean we don't believe in the admins too. Otherwise, why would we even bother to give a comment.

“Sure, the admins/developers are humans too, but it is what they signed up for, as much negative feedbacks that they recieve, they are responsible and accountable for what it is.”

Hum... oh okay, so if I signed up as a receptionist, it’s my responsibility for all the negative commentaries, even those that can’t be solved by me? That’s why there are people out there that support the idea of “being polite with those who work hard”, often times, people who work at receptionists, cash registers, you name it, about 80% of the complaints they get are complaints they can’t even fix and either have to ask for a manager or try to calm the person down since there’s not that much to do. Saying that “it is what they signed up for“ it’s basically saying “they’re the fault of all the glitches that happen and therefore they have to fix it right away” even though they can’t really do that much but to:

Ask you to send an email to Jumpstart Support (the equivalent of asking for a manager);

Or try to keep them calm.

Hell, I’ll give another example, a part of the Fandom website got fucked up and an user files a complaint reply to me about how there’s a section of the website itself that’s glitched, so I send a Glitch Complaint Email to Fandom support about said glitch - according to you, it’s MY responsibility that the Fandom website has that glitch and therefore, it’s ME who has to fix it, not the Fandom Devs. Do you understand what the fuck you just said or...

And just so you know, the players who complain are actually the supporters of the game

Since when though? Would be nice if you added a source referring to that, and just because they are the “supporters of the game”, it doesn’t mean they have to be respected - hell, I may be an Admin of the Wiki, but that doesn’t mean that everyone needs to fall to their knees before me, I ain’t some kind of goddess, I’m just a casual player who edits the wiki. And if they’re the “supporters of the game” then why don’t they have a special title? Supposed “supporters” should at the least have a special title like games like Pony Town has. Hell, there was even a Narrative Designer that appeared when clearing up the Hobblegrunt confusion (link available at the Hobblegrunt page at the SoD wiki btw) and how do we know it’s a Narrative Designer?

Because they have their own title. If these supposed “supporters” don’t have their own title then... I’m sorry but you are saying fake shit and I don’t believe one bit until you give a proper source.

And the funniest thing? The same two “supporters” are the same users that are calling those who believe the Admins “fools” so... what a nice duo of supporters the Admins have, huh.

the more open the players are about the issues in the game, the more support this game gets, because those who complain about the problems are those who care about the game and we address them because we wish to see a better future to the game.

One thing is complain about a glitch to bring awareness, another thing is call everyone a “fool” for believing in the Admins - and I should note that this only started to happen after CotC got cancelled. No one was calling anyone a fool for x, it only and exclusively started happening after that became a thing.

And you’re saying that as if that’s what they’re doing when they aren’t. Need I remind you that one of the.. supposed “supporters” said this:

And this:

The bottom one was repeated 3 times throughout the entire thread. And remember, ever since this thread happened, the same user is now going on a spree of casually telling everyone that they’re fools for believing in the Admin’s lies. And this user is supposedly a “supporter”, everybody.

What a great way to show how good your clan is by having a clanman doing... this.

So, just because we have bad things to say, doesn't mean we don't believe in the admins too. Otherwise, why would we even bother to give a comment.

Again, those two “supporters” (specifically one of them) have something to say about that. And given how a clan behave... you probably only did that to “protect the other clanmen”.

And the devs need negative feedbacks, otherwise how can they even know what's wrong with the game DUUHHH. Other than that, the admins/devs themselves (most of the time (?)) don't always know what's good for the game, because unlike the players, they don't experience the gameplay experience themselves, so they don't know what bugs/glitches that actually matters and needs fixing and changes that needs to be done.

I agree with your point, though, like I said before, one thing is complain about a glitch to bring awareness, another thing is call everyone a “fool” for believing in the Admins. Those guys, specifically one of them, was going around casually saying that everyone’s a fool for believing in the Admin’s bullshit, how is that bringing awareness??

And “the admins/devs themselves (most of the time (?)) don't always know what's good for the game, because unlike the players, they don't experience the gameplay experience themselves“ yet again, Admins =/= Developers, and Developers have Beta Testers within them, to build a game and release it to the public, you HAVE to play it, there has been games where it really looks like the Testers didn’t played at all and have the double the amount of glitches that SoD has. And granted, there are suggestions that have been a thing for years (like the Feed All Button), though, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they haven’t added suggestions - as someone in the CotC Thread said before...

And you can't expect everyone to address things the way you approve, nor expect everyone to shut up and deal with it like the admins/devs are saints - pretending there's nothing wrong for the sake of human sympathy, as it's so irrelevant. Kindly open your eyes please, this world isn't perfect and someone needs to say something about it.

What way I approve, though??? Like... what??? xD

File a polite, informative complaint email or PM is like. common sense. To let them help you, you have to help them understand what happen, that’s the basic of rules when it comes to file a complain to any form of support. And showing politeness to any support, really, gives off a better self-light than talking like you have some sort of anger problems with all caps and “speakin lik dis”. It’s literally common sense, it’s not a thing from me, it’s common sense - you wouldn’t file a complaint to any support email from any real life brand by typing “my machine doesnt work now, pls fix it”. They’ll probably either ignore it or ask for, you guess it, more fucking details.

Also I didn’t even told them to shut up????? I just told them that going around also telling other they’re fools for believing the Admins wouldn’t really give their clan a good image, that’s all I said! I didn’t even told them to shut up! Are you that protective to your clan that you’re assuming waaay to many things that I said??? Goddamn. xD

Also, where did you even g e t that “pretending there's nothing wrong for the sake of human sympathy, as it's so irrelevant.“???? “Kindly open your eyes please” Look who’s talking, at the least, I know what I’m talking about, I don’t suddenly bring “sake of human sympathy” and “expect everyone to shut up” out of the blue! xD

I think I've said enough. Oh and P.S _--_-- and _------_------ are actually one of the game's biggest supporters just so you know, especially in clan tournament ;)

Like I said, a source about that would be appreciated and those same guys are also the ones going around saying “we are fools for believing in the Admins’ bullshit”. And “especially in Clan Tournament”, well, that explains their sore loser behavior, you just made my point even stronger by proving once again that the reason they’re behaving like that is because of the cancellation of the CoTC.

Oh and after I said that second-to-last paragraph explains practically everything, I’m amazed they didn’t understood what I meant with that and... sent this:

Why do people geninely think that sending gifs makes them feel more powerful and threatening? What is that gif supposed to imply? Fear? Dread? “Urgh”? Explain to me, please because all I see is a gif with... “Now run along”. Ofc I did thanked them for the lil chat because it was pretty nice.

[chelseaandthediscourse]

           Recently, I found myself embroiled in a debate with another user on Tumblr in a back-and-forth that encompassed issues such as trans rights advocacy, the medicalization and pathologization of trans identities, and the exclusion of non-binary identities from the trans community. These, I feel, are very important issues that the entire trans community needs to look at more critically and decide what kind of movement we want to be. The politics espoused by the person with whom I was debating are harmful to some of the most marginalized of our community and by excluding them we risk repeating the mistakes of the past in throwing those of us who are ‘too transgressive’ under the bus for our own gain, an issue I expand on during the debate. This debate, in my opinion, is an example of transnormativity and intercommunity bigotry in action, and it shows precisely why we need to combat the biases within the trans community if we want a trans rights movement that isn’t a repetition of the hegemonic assimilation that has hurt so many in the broader LGBTQ+ community.

           The debate started with me responding a post which was lauding the ‘truscum’ ideology. For reference, truscum, short of ‘true transsexual scum,’ is a term, usually pejorative, denoting a trans identified individual who believes that trangender identities are a medical, typically psychological, disorder, which requires strict diagnostic guidelines and subsequent medical treatment in order to be considered ‘valid.’ Typically, those who espouses truscum ideology are also very set in thinking that gender and sex exist as a binary, often acknowledging that while gender is social construct, sex is a biological truth based on genitals and other physical markers.

           I have transcribed the debate in its entirety below, but the original post containing my participation in the debate may be found at https://chelseaandherself.tumblr.com/post/159568375672/truscum-more-like-common-sense. In the beginning, there are a few other participants, but it swiftly moves to just being between myself, Tumblr name Chelseaandherself, and by debate opponent, tumblr name Thathighclassbitch. I have underlined all usernames to denote the start of a new post, and bolded the usernames of myself and Thathighclassbitch to make them stand out.

Thathighclassbith: Truscum? More like common sense.

Softtrains: truscum? More like let people live their lives fucker

Asprodente: More like have an at least semi-verifiable way of identifying a real condition.

More like stop justifying people’s whimsical identifications, especially when it hurts the case for real transgenders to be accepted because they’re thrown into the boat with people who throw on a new change of clothes and call themselves trans for snowflake points.  You’re participating in swaying the science side of the right away from transgenderism.

You are not helping and you’re making it worse.

Softtrains: hey… if people identify as a gender they weren’t assigned with at birth… guess what theyre a “real transgender”

Asprodente: Let me ask you something, what does it mean to identify as something? What is the requisite? 

Softtrains: it means being the goddamn thing youre identifying as

Asprodente: Actually, you know what, I’ll just skip beating around the bush and get right to it.

Calling yourself something and being that something are vastly different. If I said I was trans, right now, would you believe me? Is my word the only factor worth consideration?

How about an example:  / I say “I have diabetes.”. You don’t have much reason to doubt that, but you don’t know if I really have it.  Someone else asks me, “Are you sure you have diabetes?” Now, this question is quite rude, yes, but I fail to present a doctor’s note, a prescription, or any medication for diabetes, and have not presented enough of the symptoms. I tell them that I identify as a diabetic. 

Is that okay? In that scenario, should I be defended to identify as diabetic? What if diabetics nationwide are facing discrimination? Well, after my stunt, the anti-diabetics have gone around saying “Hey, they might be one of those fake diabetics!” to justify their treatment. Diabetics are now being treated worse than they were before. / We do have a way of determining whether someone is trans. It’s called dysphoria. We’ve observed mental discrepancies between trans brains and cis brains, which make MtF trans brains look more similar to cis female brains than cis male brains.

Geekandmisandry: There is some, but minimal and conflicting evidence that brain waves are different in trans people, relying on that is ridiculous when the researchers THEMSELVES tell you not to because it’s not conclusive and there are a great number of variables.

Trying to test trans people is fucking ridiculous, comparing it to diabetes is willful ignorance. There isn’t a blood test for transness and don’t pretend you’re on a “science side” when you clearly haven’t actually looked at the finding, you’re just doing a hopeless regurgitation of some cherry picked data.

It shows.

Sex and gender are complex and anyone who claims to know the exact nature of them at this point of our scientific research is a liar.

Chelseaandherself: Sex and gender are social constructs.

Blood sugar is not.

Thathighclassbitch: Actually

Vagina equals female Penis equals male And when you have gender dysphoria, you either want to have a dick or a vagina.  It’s not a social construct.

Chelseaandherself: Buddy, pal…listen…please actually read legitimate sources on the matter before coming on to my blog with this stuff.

There’s absolutely zero scientific reason to equate having certain genitals with certain genders or sexes. You’re erasing the entire spectrum of intersex just to create a binary system. What do you call someone with a penis who has an XX karotype? Because that’s possible. Someone with a vagina with an XY karotype? Because that’s also possible. As is any number of other assortments of genital and chromosome combinations that make it impossible to actually have a binary system of sex. We made it up. That’s the definition of a social construct.

Thathighclassbitch: That’s rare and not exactly a ‘normal’ thing. Normal people have xy if they’re male, and xx if they’re female. That’s science. And intersex is a mutation, and is not a normal thing. And even so, it wouldn’t be SOCIAL.

And buddy, pal…maybe give some backup for the shit you’re saying before coming onto MY post. Because this is my post. And I don’t care if you respond, it’s public. But don’t shit me with coming onto your blog.

Chelseaandherself: http://www.isna.org/faq/frequency

http://www.isna.org/faq/ten_myths/rare

http://oii-usa.org/2563/how-common-is-intersex-in-humans/

Most estimates put intersex conditions at about 1-2% of the population, but it’s hard to get an accurate measure and these are fairly conservative estimates. This may not seem like a large portion of the population, but it’s actually pretty significant. And ignoring that large of a population is just bad science.

https://sites.psu.edu/evolutionofhumansexuality/2014/02/19/third-genders-new-concept-or-old/

Prior to colonization, multiple cultures around the world recognized genders and sexes outside of the binary, demonstrating that our understanding of such matters is constructed by our culture. Even within western society, understandings of sexuality and gender have not been static; for a long time, what we now consider to be homosexual men were considered a third gender. I do not have a convenient online source to link to you for this, but consider checking out Finding Out: An Introduction to LGBTQ Studies by Jonathon Alexander, et al.

http://sociologyinfocus.com/2016/08/sex-is-a-social-construction-even-if-the-olympics-pretends-its-not/

Here’s a nice little article that discusses the issue and provides a few other sources.

Sources I can recommend off the top of my head but can’t link you to as they aren’t available online:

Sexing the Body by Anne Fausto-Sterling

Bodies That Matter by Judith Butler (or any number of her other works)

A significant portion of the works of Michel Foucault, most notably The Birth of the Clinic: An Archaeology of Medical Perception and The Order of Things: An Archaeology of the Human Sciences, both of which discuss how knowledge in the sciences is constructed through a social and cultural lens.

I could provide you with a significantly better selection of sources if you had access to a university level research database, but…

Thathighclassbitch: I’ll check out the links later, alright? So do consider that when I’m replying right now, since I haven’t checked them out yet.

But intersex and such is still a rare case, and people can usually identify with either one of the sexes. Plus the belief of more genders is, like I said, a belief, and should not be connected to being transgender, since it harms people like me in various ways.

Chelseaandherself: Intersex is a rare case compared to some things and not when compared to other things. As some of those articles mention, the 1-2% estimate puts it at being about as rare as being born with naturally red hair and more common that cystic fibrosis. The point is, it’s not a statistical anomaly, and ignoring it is bad, reductive science. And further, some people do not know they are intersex.

Sexing the Body by Fausto-Sterling specifically addresses the issue of an Olympic athlete who had to undergo genetic testing to participate only to discover that, having lived her entire life thinking she was a “normal” female, she was actually intersex and had latent testes hidden in her body. I’ve switched back to mobile tumblr, otherwise I’d find you a link on her, but her name was Maria Patino, a quick Google search should find her. And there are other accounts of similar things. The belief of more genders is just that, a belief, I agree, but, I’m arguing, that the belief in a binary system of gender is also just that, a belief. I literally have no idea what you being transgender has to do with this discussion. I’m transgender too and I think the discourse your perpetuating is harmful to me.

Thathighclassbitch: No I completely understand that ignoring that issue is bad and that’s not what I was going for when it comes to this post. This post was mainly directed at people who think they are nonbinary in any way. Because these people confuse this for being a different gender, and think they are transgender. Even though you cannot transition to any non binary gender.

Gender identity, however, is a social construct. This is mainly just the way you present yourself and kinda the way you respond to gender roles. (Don’t fully know how to put it.)

And what I meant with the last part was that people who say they are transgender, yet don’t have dysphoria, are hurting people like me with dysphoria. I wasn’t directing it towards me, but more towards a group of people I’m part of.

Chelseaandherself: I know what gender identity is?

But okay, look, this is what it comes down to then. You want non-binary people out of the trans community because you think they somehow hurt trans people. Again, I reiterate that I am a transgender woman, I am part of this group that you claim to be protecting. All you’re really doing is policing people’s identities in the same way that binary trans people have had their identities policed and told they are legitimately the gender they identify as. You’re also perpetuating the same discourses that historically have been used to keep transgender people out of the mainstream LGBTQ+ movement. I speak here specifically of that movement within the US; I see on your blog description that you are Dutch and I cannot speak to the history of any civil rights movements originating in that area of the world. But in the US, trans people were systematically pushed out of the rights movement because we were considered too transgressive and were thought to be hurting the more normative, cisgender members of the community by holding them back from acceptance in mainstream culture. You are doing the same to a marginalized section of an already marginalized minority. What you are essentially arguing to is the idea of trickle down advocacy…much like trickle down economics, the idea is that we fight for the rights of the least oppressed, and those rights will eventually trickle down to those who are more oppressed, and we slowly work our way down the rungs of the social hierarchy. But this isn’t a great model for social rights. Think about it this way, your goal is to fight for the rights and acceptance of binary transgender people, correct? Doing it you’re way will eventually gain those things for binary trans people, and sure, that’s great, but non-binary individuals will still be out in the cold. If you include non-binary people in you’re advocacy, then maybe the fight is a little harder and a little longer, but in the end everyone is better off. Let’s be honest, non-binary identities ARE more transgressive to social norms and people have more trouble accepting those identities. Because of this, don’t you think that if non-binary identities are accepted and recognized within the mainstream, that binary trans identities like yours and mine are also going to be accepted?

Thathighclassbitch: You see, what I’m saying is that nonbinary does not equal trans. It means not confirming to gender roles, and it’s something you cannot transition to.

People should first understand what nonbinary is, and should understand that it’s not a gender, before we can work towards acceptance.

Nonbinary and transgender are two different things. One has something to do with a mental disorder, and the other is not confirming to the stereotypical gender roles. It’s not an entirely new and amazing gender.

Basically, you can be a nonbinary man or nonbinary woman, but you’re still a man or a woman either way. It’s basically another way of saying that someone is a tomboy or a femboy.

However, tomboys/femboys do appear to have different stereotypes than nonbinary people, and nonbinary includes both men and women. So I suppose that would be a bigger community.

But it’s not transgender.

Chelseaandherself: Okay, have fun thinking your identity is a mental disorder and playing identity police.

This is no longer a productive debate as I can see that you are very set in your thinking here, so I really don’t feel the need to spend my time in the futile pursuit of trying to convince you otherwise. Thank you for the mental exercise and have a lovely day.

             At this point, I decided to disengage from the debate as it became clear to me that not only did he seem unwilling to actually read the sources which I provided, on his request, but also had no intention of engaging with me with arguments that were more substantial than a reiteration of phobic language. The debate was, in short, entirely unproductive. We, as a community, need to do better than this. We need to stop repeating the same bias that has been thrown at us and using it to further marginalize members of our community. Trickle down social justice isn’t good enough and it doesn’t work.