#if you call Leah (or anyone here) any of these she will stab you

[muffinpink02]

Co-Host part 3

Part 1 here

Part 2 here

Part 4 here

Warnings - Smut

Three months had passed.

And both girls were miserable.

They were miserable with themselves, but when they were together they were in heaven, a miserable heaven. The girls had kept their arrangement to just sex. No staying over, no feelings mentioned, no ‘what are we?’ Not even cuddles after sex.

But now and again they would linger after sex, they, talk about shows, friends, plans. They laughed and spoke about anything and everything. But nothing about the situation.

It was bitter sweet, it felt so good but it would never last long.

Leah and Lucy had kept up the game of fuck buddies for three months, but we all know that game doesn’t last without someone catching feelings.

Especially when the feelings were always there. And only getting stronger.

The only thing that hadn’t been mentioned was other people.

It was as if a silent agreement had been made between the pair. Neither girl was  sleeping with anyone else, wasn’t seeing anyone else.

For now.

—————

Lucy pulled up her jeans, she looked around Leah’s room for her bra.

“I have a date this weekend.” The blonde blurted out, she was naked on the bed. Leah watched Lucys face for any sign of emotion.

Lucy stopped as she was pulling her shirt over her head. She turned slowly to Leah, the brunettes face was hard to gage, she didn’t look thrilled but she didn’t look sad either.

“Oh, okay. I guess you wanna stop this then?”

Leah opened her mouth but nothing came out. Yes, she wanted to stop this, she wanted “This” to be more than what it was, she wanted to talk. She wanted Lucy for more than just sex.

“I don’t have to go.”

Lucy looked over at Leah. “Why would you do that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Who’s the date with?” Lucy wasn’t looking at Keira.

“A mutual friend, my friend’s been pushing me for a while to go on a date with her.”

Lucy stared at Leah in her vanity, there was so much she wanted to say but she didn’t.

“Right well, I guess this is us done. Enjoy your date.”

Lucy didn’t give Leah time to respond, she couldn’t. She could feel her chest tightening up, her legs felt like they were going to give in.

Lucy walked out of Leah’s house, the tears were streaming down her face. She felt like a knife had stabbed her in her heart a thousand times over.

Leah sobbed in her pillow, she didn’t want this, she didn’t want to loose Lucy. She said yes to the date to mostly get her friends off her case. She was never planning on really going, she was always going to cancel it.

She also wanted to see how Lucy would react to the news, but she didn’t get the reaction she wanted.

A small part of her hopped Lucy would say she should cancel, that they should go on a date. She wanted Lucy to hold her and tell her she’s more than a booty call, more than whatever this is.

She wanted so much more, but this had been going on for months, clearly Lucy didn’t want anything more, she made that very obvious in the beginning of all of this and very obvious now.

—————-

A couple of days had passed, and the girls hadn’t spoken since that night. Leah had looked over their messages, they mostly consisted of ‘need a hand’ or ‘free for fun?’ she wanted to text Lucy. She wanted to tell her to come over, carry on with their agreement. But she knew it wasn’t working, she was only hurting herself.

So she decided to go on the date, she wanted to try and see if she could get over Lucy. She didn’t want to feel this way anymore, she wanted Lucy but Lucy didn’t want her that way.

Lucy had cried everyday since that night. She wanted to tell Leah how she felt, that she didn’t want her to go on the date. She wanted to be the one to take her out, she wanted to show her how much she wanted her for more than just sex.

She knew what they were doing was stupid, she hated that she made out like that’s all she wanted from Leah. Lucy just wanted to protect herself from getting hurt. Leah leaving her in the hotel made Lucy put up a wall, and Lucy was good with her walls.

————

Saturday rolled around and Leah slowly got ready for her date. She was forcing herself to go. She had nearly cancelled about 100 times over. But she knew she couldn’t keep this up with Lucy, it was breaking her. But it didn’t stop her from thinking about the brunette constantly.

She decided on wearing a cream skirt and a black vest top, with a smart jacket. She wore her hair down with a slight curl. She went with light make up, finishing off the look with a pair of black heels.

She made her way to the bar, not feeling excited or nervous, in all honesty she felt empty but she knew she needed to push herself.

—————-

Leah was standing outside the bar, she took a deep breath, put on a smile and made her into the bar.

She spotted Claire at a table, they had met a couple times before through their mutual friend. They greeted each other with a hug and started their date.

Claire was cute, she was intelligent, funny and a genuinely nice person. Leah was polite, she laughed at her jokes, she asked questions, she listened to Claire talk about her work. But it wasn’t what she wanted, she wasn’t Lucy.

A couple hours later and three drinks in the date came to an end. Claire clearly didn’t notice Leah was checked out.

“So did you want to go to another bar? Or come back to mine? I live 10 minutes down the road.”

Leah blinked a couple of times before she opened her mouth.

“Oh erm, I can’t. I have training early tomorrow. I erm, yeah sorry. I’ve had a great time though.”

Claire looked deflated but she smiled at Leah. “Oh, no that’s okay, I had a lot of fun. Get home safe.”

“Yeah, you too.”

Leah watched as Claire walked away, she felt bad, she really did, but she hadn’t stoped thinking about the brunette. She pulled out her phone.

Leah - I need a hand

Lucy replied instantly.

Lucy - what about your date?

Leah - I wasn’t picturing them fucking me, I was picturing you

Lucy - I’ll be there in 10

Leah - I’m closer to yours, I’ll come to you

Lucy - okay

Leah hailed down a black cab. Gave the address and she was on her way.

Once again Leah knew this wasn’t right, but Lucy almost felt like a drug to her, she needed her, she needed to feel her, smell her, taste her.

She pulled up to the house, she paid the cab  driver and thanked him. She walked up to Lucy’s door, ready to knock. But the door swung open.

Lucy stood there in her grey tracksuit bottoms and a black T shirt, looking as fuckable as ever.

Leah grabbed her by her T-shirt and pulled her in for a deep, hard kiss.

Lucy didn’t think twice, she pulled Leah in closer to her, more than happy to have the girls lips against hers. The kisses were desperate and heated, both fighting for dominance.

Lucy pushed Leah hard against the front door, causing it to close. She attacked Leah’s neck, biting hard against her skin. After months of sharing each other beds, Lucy knew exactly what Leah liked and didn’t like. She knew how to make her scream, she knew how to make her body shake and how to make her pussy squirt.

She sucked hard on Leah’s neck, loving the whimpering noises coming from the blonde. She would normally make sure not to leave any marks on show, but tonight she didn’t care. Lucy wanted to leave marks all over Leah’s body. She wanted to leave her marked up for everyone to see, she wanted Leah to be hers.

Leah could hardly breathe, Lucy was taking over her senses, she could feel her teeth and tongue sucking hard on her neck. She knew she was leaving a mark but she didn’t care. She would let Lucy do whatever she wanted to do to her tonight, because she was going to do everything to her.

“Your room.” Leah breathed hard.

Lucy grabbed Leah by the hand and dragged her down the hall to her room. Leah didn’t wait around, she started to pull Lucy’s T-shirt over her head. Lucy began to pull Leah’s skirt over her heels.

Both girls wouldn’t take their eyes off each other, their bedroom antics were always hot and heavy but tonight felt extra intense, more desperate. It was like they hadn’t seen each other in months. Both girls were breathing hard, pulling at each other clothes.

Lucy had stripped Leah down to her underwear. The blonde was wearing a very sexy red lace set that Lucy hadn’t seen before. The brunette wondered if they were new, or had she bought it for her date?

Leah bent down to take her heels off.

“No, leave them on.”

Leah smiled wickedly at Lucy.

She pulled Lucy by her girl boxers towards the dressing table, she dropped to her knees looking up at Lucy through her lashes.

Lucy felt herself getting wet, she had seen Leah in this position plenty of times now, but something felt different tonight.

Leah began to kiss up Lucy’s thighs, she felt Lucy lean back on the dresser, she looked up to see Lucy’s intense green eyes on her.

She slowly pulled down Lucy’s boxers, she could see she was wet, her lips were glistening. Leah felt her mouth water at the beautiful site, she thought she’d never get to see Lucy like this again.

Lucy tucked her fingers in Leah’s hair, slowly pushing the strands out of her face.

Leah leaned forward and took a slow, delicate lick from the bottom of Lucy’s lips to the top, not actually dipping her tongue in. She wanted to taste every drop of Lucy before she began.

Lucy’s fingers stroked Leah’s scalp, causing the blonde to shiver. She leaned herself forward taking another long stroke at Lucy’s lips, dipping her tongue into her wet folds.

Lucy hissed at the touch, she had been turned on the minute Leah texted her. Like Leah, she didn’t think she was ever going to really see the girl again, let alone in this position.

Leah moaned at the taste of Lucy, she lost count how many times she had Lucy juices on her tongue but she still couldn’t get over how good she tasted every time.

Lucy began to slowly grind her hips into the blondes mouth, she couldn’t take her eyes off of Leah. She looked incredible on her knees, and the heels were an extra sexy cherry on top.

Leah began to suck Lucy’s clit just the way she liked it, she moved her tongue slowly but firm over the bud of nerves. She felt Lucy grip her hair, her hips began to move faster into her mouth. Leah was amazing with her tongue, Lucy could watch her do this all day,

“Fuck you look so good Leah. Did you wear those for me or your date?”

Leah laughed internally. So, Lucy was jealous?

She moved her mouth with a loud, wet popping motion, Lucy wetness was all over her lips.

“Is someone jealous?”

Lucy smiled smugly at Leah. “How can I be? You’re on your knees for me .”

Leah smiled, she kissed Lucy’s wet lips, closing her eyes as she did. She took another long lick from Lucy’s pussy. Causing the brunette to jolt. Her hands gripping tighter in Leah’s hair.

Leah continued. “Do you like it?”

Lucy chuckled breathlessly, her head tilted to the side as she watched Leah. “Yeah, you should wear red more often. It looks good on you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She winked at Lucy, and went back to her task at hand. Sucking Lucy’s sensitive clit into her mouth.

“Fuck.”

Lucy’s head titled back in pleasure, she loved it when Leah was cocky, it turned her on like there was no tomorrow.

Leah sucked and licked at Lucy’s pussy, the girl was wet, her juices and Leah’s spit were starting to drip down the blondes chin, slowly making its way down her neck and chest.

Lucy could feel her climax coming, her stomach began to tighten, she pushed herself deeper onto Leah’s tongue. She grabbed Leah’s hair into a pony tail, grinding her hips into her mouth. Small moans escaped the brunettes mouth, she felt her legs start to shake.

Leah worked her tongue hard, wanting to give Lucy everything she needed. She could hear Lucy’s breathing quicken, she could feel her thighs shaking. She sucked and licked at Lucy’s throbbing clit, while she thrusted into her face.

“Fuck Lee, just like that, just like that. Yes, baby don’t stop.”

Leah loved it when Lucy called her by her nickname, it made her heart flutter, it would always spur her on.

Lucy fucked Leah’s face, her orgasm began to take over her body. She looked down one last time at Leah, she would never get over how good she looked on her knees for her like this.

Her orgasm was powerful, she moaned loudly as she continued to fuck Leah’s face. Leah sucked on Lucy’s clit, feeling Lucy push her head deeper between her legs, Lucy’s hands gripped at her hair.

Leah licked at her folds as she came in her mouth, she could feel Lucy’s wetness seeping down her tongue. She didn’t want to waste a drop of it, swallowing what she could.

Lucy breathed hard as she moved Leah’s head from her legs. She looked down at the blonde to see her own juices string from Leah’s mouth to her pussy.

She looked so fucking good.

“You drive me crazy Leah.”

Lucy’s voice was low, she sounded desperate.

Leah stood up on her heels, she could feel her underwear was soaked. But she wasn’t done with Lucy.

“I want to fuck you. Go lay on the bed.”

Lucy smiled, she did what she was told and laid on the bed.

Leah knew where Lucy kept all their toys, they had built quite a collection over the three months. They each had their own dildos, many different sizes and colours.

Leah strapped herself up, she had Lucy’s favourite 7 inch dildo on.

Lucy waited patiently for Leah, she watched the blonde getting herself ready. She loved it when Leah took charge, Lucy had taken on more of a dominant role in their sexual activities but she loved how versatile they both were in the bedroom.

Leah took off her heels, as much as it was hot she needed to have her balance.

She knew Lucy was wet but she lathered the dildo up in lube. She approached the bed, Lucy was watching her, she could tell she was excited, it had been a little while since they used the strap on her.

Leah climbed on the bed, not once taking her eyes off Lucy. She crawled up to the brunette, kneeling between her strong tanned legs. She placed her hands on Lucy’s knees, that were now shaking.

“Open your legs for my baby.”

Lucy opened her legs without hesitation.

Leah pressed her body against Lucy’s, their faces were nose to nose, the dildo was touching the brunettes thighs. Leah kissed her gently, she loved having Lucy like this, it was rare to see the girl so vulnerable.

She began to kiss Lucy’s neck, with gentle kisses. She knew it was one of Lucy’s turn ons, whenever her neck was touched in any type of way, she became putty in Leah’s hands.

Lucy’s breathing began to quicken, she couldn’t stop to small groans coming from her mouth. She could feel herself getting wet again.

Leah smirked. “I love it when you make that noise.” She breathed in Lucy’s ear.

Lucy bit her lip, her head moving to the side.

Leah continued. “You ready for me Luce?”

Lucy nodded. Not trusting her words.

“Good girl.”

Lucy eyes fluttered from Leah’s words, she like Leah, had a little praise kink.

Leah held the dildo in her hand, slowly easing it into Lucy’s cunt. She knew Lucy could take it but she would always go slow. At first.

Lucy let out another groan, Leah began to kiss her neck again as she pushed herself into Lucy’s tight pussy, she could feel even feel through the strap that she was tight.

She loved being close to Lucy like this. It felt so intimate, like Lucy was giving her all of her, no walls up, just them.

She pumped her hips slowly, loving the small whimpers coming from the brunette. She stayed on her neck, kissing and sucking on Lucy’s skin.

“Fuck Lee. You feel so good.”

Lucy felt full, her pussy already began to throb, she began to move her hips with Leah’s rhythm.

Leah’s hips moved faster, happy enough to feel Lucy was already comfortable. She pushed deeper into the brunette, bottoming out with the strap, Lucy let out a mess of groans and moans, her body trembling under Leah.

“You make the best noises Luce.” She sucked on Lucy’s neck.

Leah began to take deep, long strokes, working her stomach and legs. She watched as Lucy’s face was taken over by pure pleasure.

Lucy’s hands glided down Leah’s back, she reached for her arse cheeks and grabbed hard, causing the blonde to moan.

Leah’s hips moved faster, mouth still on Lucy’s neck, Lucy’s perfume was taken over her senses, the brunettes moaning was dripping into Leah’s ears. The brunettes moans pushed Leah to go faster and deeper.

“Fuck, fuck, Leah, oh my god.”

Leah loved fucking Lucy like this, she loved when the girl was unable to form any kind of sentence just from the pure bliss of Leah’s hips.

Leah pushed herself on her knees, wanting to switch the position. She pushed Lucy’s right knee up, pushing the strap even deeper into the girl.

Lucy couldn’t hold the high pitched whimpers coming from her mouth. Leah was fucking her so deeply it almost took her breath away. She gripped the sheets needing something to hold onto while Leah fucked her into not knowing her own name.

Leah didn’t hold back, she pumped her hips at a rapid pace, fucking Lucy like it was the last thing she would do on earth.

She looked down at Lucy’s perfect body, watched as the strap glided in and out of her wet pussy, her juices everywhere covering the top of her thighs. Her body was glistening in sweat from how hard Leah worked her.

The noises coming from between their bodies was almost criminal, wet skin slapping was echoing throughout the room, nearly drowning out Lucy’s whimpers.

“You take it so well Luce.” Leah’s voice was rough from her movements. “You take my dick so well. Do you think I should let you cum?”

Lucy’s eyes were closed, she could just about form a coherent sentence, but she knew Leah would stop her movements if she didn’t try.

“Please Leah, please make me cum.”

She thoughts about her next words carefully.

“I - I, fuck. I’ve missed you Lee.”

Leah wasn’t expecting to hear that. Lucy’s voice sounded small. She didn’t stop her movements, she couldn’t. Not now.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you Luce.”

Leah placed her hand under Lucy’s chin, making them look hard at each other. It felt like a blanket of sadness had hit both of them.

Leah snaked her hand down Lucy’s body, watching Lucy’s face. She reached her very sensitive clit. As soon as her finger brushed over it Lucy whimpered loudly, grabbing on to Leah’s hand behind her knee.

“Lee please, please.”

Leah began to draw tight circles against the bundle of nerves, earning her more high pitched whimpers from the brunette.

Lucy’s mouth began to gape, making that beautiful face Leah loved to see. Her face seemed to let go of every emotion she had that day and would turn into pure ecstasy.

Lucy’s body began to shake, her whimpering stopped, alone with her breathing. Leah felt her body tense up, her abs clenched, Leah swore she felt Lucy’s walls pull on the strap.

She came hard, her hips thrusted against Leah’s fingers, trying to get everything she could. A half moan, whimpering noise left her mouth. She looked beautiful.

Leah slowed her movements, pumping slowly into Lucy. Once she could tell Lucy had finished she lowered herself to Lucy’s face. She kissed her lips gently, then moved her lips down to Lucy’s neck, kissing her sweat soaked skin.

“Lee, Leah. I …. fuck, that was…. Wow.” Lucy chuckled.

Leah smiled against her skin. Lucy’s walls always came down in moments like this, showing a much softer side to her that not many people got to see.

Leah kept her hips moving, pumping slowly into Lucy. She wanted to go another round, she took Lucy’s hands in her own and raised them above Lucy’s head.

Lucy began to whimper again, Leah kept her  movements slow and deep. She sucked on one spot on Lucy’s neck. Lucy squirmed underneath the blonde, her body was clearly taking a lot but Leah couldn’t help herself, there was something about fucking Lucy like this that was her own selfish pleasure.

“You going to take me some more Luce? I know you can.”

Lucy breathed hard, her hands shaking under Leah grip. She was stronger than Leah so she could push her off if she wanted to, but there was no doubt in her mind that she wanted everything that was Leah right now.

“Yeah, but go slow, I’m so sensitive.”

“I will baby.” She kissed Lucy’s lips, slipping her tongue deep into the back of her throat. Lucy moaning in the process.

“I’ll always look after you.”

Leah’s whole body was skin to skin with Lucy’s, their skin stuck to each other from their sweat. Leah pumped into Lucy with deep strokes, the moaning coming from Lucy was delicious.

Leah could feel her own clit throbbing, she knew she wouldn’t get off like this but watching Lucy take her so well was driving her own orgasm close.

She kept Lucy’s hands above her head, but moved her right hand down south. It was a tight squeeze between their bodies but she made it work.

As soon as she touched the older girls clit, Lucy gasped in her ear. She rubbed softly this time, knowing Lucy was extremely sensitive, she pushed hard but rubbed small gentle circles on her clit.

Lucy held her breath, she was in another world, her body was already exhausted but she felt amazing, her pussy was pulsating hard around the dildo. She could feel her orgasm approaching already.

She came again, her body jolted hard, her muscles twitched. Lucy let out a silent moan, her skin burning under Leah’s hot sweaty body. She felt like she was about to pass out, her body was shattered, drenched in sweat, her chest heaved heavy with her breathing.

Leah kissed her forehead and gently pulled out of her. Lucy gasped from how sensitive she was, holding Leah’s hips and she moved back.

Leah stripped out of the harness, making her way back to the bed, collapsing on her back, next to Lucy, breathing hard.

Lucy chuckled. “Are you trying to kill me? I can’t feel my body.”

Leah giggled. “I can’t help it, you’re just so fuckable.”

Lucy rolled her eyes, laughing at Leah’s words.

“Well you’re going to have to give me a minute. I can’t move.” Lucy breathed out.

“Hmm you don’t have to move.”

Leah pulled herself up, crawling up the head board of Lucy’s bed, she ducked down next to Lucy’s ear. “Can I ride your face?”

Lucy groaned, she loved Leah sitting on her face. It was one of her most favourite positions. Lucy nodded fast , she didn’t need to be asked twice.

Leah smiled and lifted her leg over Lucy’s chest, shuffling herself just above Lucy’s chest.

Lucy had seen Leah wet before, but she had never seen her quite like this, her thighs were dripping with her own wetness. Her lips were soaked in thick juices. Lucy was in her own heaven. A Leah heaven.

Leah held on to the headboard, slowly lowering herself, she was so turned on her pussy was throbbing in pain. She felt Lucy’s breath hit her wet lips, sending shivers up her spine. Leah had worked herself up, she could already feel her legs shaken from anticipation.

Lucy snaked her hands up Leah’s firm thighs. “You look so good Leah. You’re so wet.”

Leah let out a small rough chuckle. “Luce, your breath is tickling me.”

Lucy raised her head and gently kissed Leah’s lips. Some of Leah’s juice stuck to her lips, she licked her mouth, finally getting to taste her favourite flavour again.

“You’re wet everywhere Lee, let me clean you up.”

Lucy greedily licked up at Leah’s thighs, licking up the wetness off her skin.

“Fuck.” Leah closed her eyes and let out a shakey breath

Lucy gently pulled her down to her awaiting mouth. She took a long, strong lick through Leah’s lips, groaning as she did.

“You always taste so good.” She took another quick lick. “I could eat you out all day.”

“Fuck Luce, your mouth. I lo- ahh.

Oh my god.”

Lucy captured Leah’s swollen clit into her mouth, she sucked gently on her bundle of nerves. Loving the noises coming from Leah’s mouth.

Leah groaned loudly, her eyes rolling back into her head, Lucy knew exactly what Leah liked. She began to lick quick strokes between Leah’s velvety folds, she could hear how wet Leah was.

Leah loved Lucy’s tongue, she loved how she could use it. She moaned as she felt Lucy take what she wanted from her, moving her tongue around in tight circles on her sensitive nerves.

Leah began to gently grind her hips into Lucy’s mouth, moaning as she did it. She looked down at Lucy, her eyes were closed in full concentration. Leah dipped her fingers into Lucy’s hair, loving the feeling of her soft hair between her fingers.

She pulled Lucy closer to her pussy, grinding harder into her mouth. She loved the control she had in this position, loved taking what she wanted, loved that Lucy also loved it.

She started to feel her climax bubble, her legs began to shake, her breathing came out in small raspy bursts.

Lucy pulled Leah in closer, roaming her tongue all over Leah’s folds. Leah’s wetness was drenching Lucy’s face.

“Fuck Luce, I’m close, I’m going to cum.”

Lucy kept up her movements with her tongue, sucking perfectly on Leah’s clit.

Leah kept her hand in Lucy’s hair, guiding her head, fucking her mouth gently. Lucy moaned at the movement, moaning on Leah’s clit, giving her that one last push.

She felt her orgasm take over her body, the blonde let out a low moan, rocking her hips into Lucy’s mouth.

“Luce, Lu- fuck, fuck, don’t stop.”

Lucy could feel Leah’s wetness gushing into her mouth, dripping down her chin. She grabbed the girls arse, pushing her into her mouth, wanting to get every drop of the blonde.

“I can’t eve- ….. your tongue. Fu-…”

Leah leaned forward against the headboard, keeping herself from crushing Lucy. She could feel the brunettes beautiful tongue ease her down from her high. Her breathing was hard, her chest rising and falling, trying to catch her breath.

She felt Lucy start to lick at her cunt again, but she couldn’t take any more, not in this position anyway.

Leah let out a breathless giggle. “No, I can’t. I can’t take it.”

She moved off of Lucy, rolling on to her stomach next to the brunette, she looked over to see Lucy’s face was smeared with her wetness. She smiled at Leah with that smile Leah loved.

“Ergh you look so good like that.” Leah smiled at Lucy.

Another blanket of sadness hit Leah, she wished this was something she could have without the dread of knowing it would end.

Lucy laughed, her eyes roaming up and down Leah’s body.

“Go get your strap.”

Leah felt her pussy clench. She rolled off the bed to their toy box. She got her favourite strap, fixing it into the harness, ready for Lucy to wear.

Lucy sat up taking her harness from Leah, putting the harness on with ease.

“Face down, arse up.” Lucy smiled wickedly at Leah. She knew this was Leah’s favourite position to be fucked in.

Before Leah could go to the bed, Lucy grabbed her by her wrist and pulled her in for a gentle, but extremely passionate kiss. Leah was more than happy to be kissed by Lucy but the kiss felt different, it felt like there was something behind it.

Lucy turned Leah around, she guided Leah to the bed, kissing her neck and back. Leah was in heaven, Lucy was always gentle with her, she never made her feel like she was being too rough even if they were dominating with each other. But Lucy was showing a bit more of a softer side, and Leah was confused but didn’t question it.

“You ready Lee?” Lucy ghosted Leah’s ear.

Leah stuttered. “Yeah, so ready. Feel me.”

Leah grabbed Lucy’s hand and guided it to her pussy. Lucy groaned at the wetness between Leah’s lips.

“Is that all for me baby?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Get on the bed and bend over.”

Leah bent over on the mattress, feeling Lucy guide her by her neck. She felt the dildo bounce on her arse and between her thighs.

She felt Lucy push at her legs, Leah automatically opened them wider. She could hear Lucy squeezing lube on the dildo, she arched her back, her head between her own arms, the familiar smell of Lucy’s lavender sheets flooded her nose.

She felt Lucy slide the head of the dildo up and down her entrance, she could feel her pussy getting wetter.

Lucy slowly pushed the head of the dildo into Leah, watching it go in, inch by inch.

Leah held her breath, feeling the dildo stretch her out.

Lucy noticed. “Relax your body Leah.” She stroked Leah’s spine, making the girl instantly relax.

“Good, thats it.”

Lucy pushed herself in until her thighs were skin to skin with Leah. She held on to Leah’s hips as she slowly pumped her own hips, not wanting to go too fast, she knew Leah had to get used to the girth of this strap.

Leah panted hard, she was grateful Lucy was going slow, her body was still adjusting to the pressure of the dildo.

“You look so good Lee, you always look so good.” Lucy stroked Leah’s back, in a soothing motion, making Leah shiver.

Leah whimpered softly, she slowly backed her hips to Lucy, giving Lucy the green light to move faster.

Lucy did just that, she pumped her hips a little faster, one hand still on Leah’s back.

Leah let out a louder whimper, the dildo rubbing against her tight walls, she could feel her pussy throbbing around the plastic.

“So you thought about me tonight? While you were on your date? Fucking you like this?”

Leah groaned, Lucy always spoke to her when she had her in this position. Lucy would normally tell her how good Leah was being for her, or how good her pussy looked or how well she could take her.

She could make Leah say anything she wanted, and Leah knew what Lucy wanted to hear. It was the truth after all.

Leah stuttered. “Ye - yeah. I thought about you all night.”

Lucy’s movements got quicker.

“You thought about me fucking you.”

“Yes. I thought abo - about you fucking me.”

“That’s naughty Lee, what about your date? Was she not good enough?”

Lucy began to pump harder. Her breathing became hard, but Leah knew the brunette could keep this up for hours if she wanted. The girl never got tired.

Leah held on to the sheets, she couldn’t control the movements anymore, this was all Lucy, she had a strong grip on her waist, controlling their movements.

Leah just about got the next words out.

“Sh- she, she wasn’t …I wan- … you. I want you Luce.”

“You’ve got me Leah.”

Lucy pulled Leah up by her hips, her chest was now against Leah’s back. She kissed Leah’s neck, holding her chin up, still pumping into her.

Lucy whispered in Leah’s ear. “You’ve got me Lee.”

Lucy snaked her hand down between Leah’s legs, circling tight circles on her clit. The girl was drenched.

A loud whimper escaped Leah’s mouth, she was so overwhelmed, a fuzziness consumed her brain. Lucy was saying things she didn’t think she’d ever hear her say. She put her hand behind Lucy’s neck, wanting to feel as close as she could to the girl. It was the most intimate she’d felt with Lucy since the hotel room.

“I’ve missed you Luce, I….fuck… I’ve missed you so much.”

Lucy felt a pain in her chest, she wanted to tell Leah how much she wanted her, how much she wanted to be hers. She held the girl tighter to her chest.

“I’ve missed you too. I want you Lee.”

“I want you Luce.”

Lucy didn’t know how she was keeping up her movements considering her mind was going a millions miles per hour. She kept up her pace, she began to kiss Leah’s neck again, kissing right up to her ear.

“I love you like this, you’re so pretty when you cum, are you going to come for me?”

Lucy had never said the word love in any sentence before and definitely not in the bedroom. Leah heard it straight away. It felt like they were pushing the invisible line more and more.

She could feel her own legs shaken now, her belly started to coil. She held on to Lucy tightly, wanting nothing but her, wanting to feel her as close as she could.

Lucy could hear Leah was close, she wanted her to feel as good as she made her.

“Thats it Lee, you’re so close. Let me hear you. I love hearing you, I love the noises you make. Fuck you feel so good.”

The words pushed her to the edge, Leah let out an animalistic moan, her body was shaken, her orgasm was intense, shattering through her body. She felt Lucy pull her tighter as her body went limp.

Leah opened her eyes, trying to catch her breath. “Oh my fuck, Luce…. Fuck.”

When Leah feels herself coming down from her high, she feels Lucy lips against her skin. Bring her back to her senses.

She kissed Leah’s shoulders gently, while she slowly pulled the strap out of the blonde.

Tiredness took over Leah’s body, she laid down on her front, exhausted from their activities.

Lucy took off her harness, watching the blonde on her bed. She crawled on the bed next to Leah, kissing her back as she moved herself up the bed.

Goosebumps ran over her body, she was sensitive all over, Leah giggled at the touch, letting out a contempt sign.

“I wanted to eat you out again.” Lucy husked  into her ear.

Leah groaned, feeling butterflies dip in her stomach.

“You don’t stop do you? Give me 2 minutes I just need to catch my breath.”

“Not when you look that good.” Lucy chuckled lying next to Leah. She easily moved the blondes body, so she could spoon her, getting as physically close as she could.

Within minutes sleep took over the pair.

A few big rule was broken that night.

—————-

Leah woke to feel a warm sensation on her back, she was confused at where she was, she’d never woken up in Lucy’s before.

She felt the warm sensation move, she realised it was Lucy’s chest against her back. She realised she fell asleep, that was something they agreed they wouldn’t do.

Shit.

Lucy felt movement next to her, making her wake. She opened her eyes to see Leah’s blonde hair, smelling her familiar shampoo.

The sun beamed in through the curtains, Lucy realised what was going on. She felt conflicted, she wanted nothing more than Leah to be here, be next to her but she knew Leah didn’t want that.

She backed herself away from Leah, giving the girl space.

Leah felt the coldness hit her back. She knew Lucy must have woken up, she’s giving Leah a hint to leave.

Leah feels tears prick at her eyes but she holds them back. She doesn’t want Lucy to see her cry.

She slowly gets herself up, her eyes darting across the room for her clothes. She dresses quickly, not bringing herself to look at Lucy.

She’s fully dressed, she looks over at Lucy who’s been watching her the whole time.

“Erm, sorry about this. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I must have passed out.”

It hurts Lucy that Leah didn’t mean to stay, or didn’t want to stay. It honestly was the best night sleep she’s had in almost a year.

She pulls the covers up to her chest covering herself. “Ah no it’s fine, I better get on. I’ve got training anyways.”

It’s a bad lie, she doesn’t have training and Leah knows that. So it hurts even more to think Lucy can’t even make up a half decent fib to get Leah out of her way.

Leah bites her lip, she goes to say something but she just nods and walks out.

Lucy pulls the covers over her head, as she hears her front door close. Once again losing Leah.

——————

Lucy texts Leah on Monday. She didn’t want sex, she just wanted to see Leah. She wanted to talk. She wrote what she knew best.

Lucy - needing a hand

It’s what they always text, nothing more, nothing less.

Leah - sorry I can’t, busy

It was the first time either of them had ever said no.

She stared at her screen, Lucy felt her hands shake, she felt so stupid. How could she have thought Leah wanted her, after all these months the blonde didn’t ever indicate that she wanted anything more, so why now?

She made her way to her in home gym, taking out everything on her punching bag.

It had been two weeks since they last saw each other. Two weeks since they last spoke. Lucy had been a wreck, she had hardly spoke to anyone. Keeping herself to herself.

She was flicking through Netflix when she heard her door go, for a brief moment she wondered if it was Leah.

She made her way to the front door, she opened it but it wasn’t Leah. It was Keira.

The look on her face must have giving away something to the shorter girl.

“Oh nice to see you to. Can I come in?”

“Yeah, sorry. Come in.”

Keira walked in to the familiar home, she made her way into the kitchen, Lucy followed behind her.

The younger girl sat at the island, looking at Lucy.

“Put the kettle on then, gosh have you lost your hospitality manners?”

Lucy laughed, no matter the mood she was in Keira always knew how to make her laugh. She put the kettle on, grabbing two tea mugs from the cupboard.

Lucy put on a brave face, she knew Keria was here to tell her off about her lack of communication with her and the girls. She knew she was ignoring the chat, she just didn’t feel like talking to anyone lately. Not since Leah.

“Right come on, what’s going on? And don’t try and lie. You know, I’ll know.”

Lucy looked at Keira, she wondered if she could tell her. They had been broken up for over a year, but would it not be awkward? In all honesty she needed someone to talk to, and Keira was her best friend, she needed her.

“Well, it’s about Leah.”

“Yeah I know.”

Lucy’s eyes bulged out of her head.

“What?”

“Yeah, you two are seeing each other. I’ve seen both your cars parked outside each others multiple times.” Keira smiled smugly at Lucy.

Lucy shock her head. “It’s more complicated than that.”

Keiras smiled dropped, she could hear the pain in Lucy’s voice. She’d obviously got this wrong.

“Right, put the bags in, talk to me.”

Lucy explained everything to Keira, from the charity event, up to the last text. Leaving out their sex details, they were close but nobody needed to know about their ex’s sexual activities.

Keira took a finishing sip from her mug, looking at Lucy with soft eyes, she felt sorry for Lucy but god was she an idiot sometimes.

“That explains a lot to be honest. God Lucy you are daft sometimes.”

Lucy screwed up her face. Why was she daft? Did she not hear what she just said?

“What, why?”

“She clearly likes you! Why on earth would she do this for so long just for a botty call? God even botty calls have more of an emotional side than what you guys have going on.”

Keira looked at Lucy with her serious face. “Come on Luce, please don’t let your walls treat Leah like this, don’t treat yourself like this. Of course she likes you, you’re likeable when you want to be.” She smiled softly at Lucy.

“I think you both need to talk, it sounds like there’s no talking going on. And even if she doesn’t want anything more than sex with you, do you really think you deserve that?”

Lucy looked at Keira, tears threatened her own eyes.

“No.”

“No, you don’t. But in all honesty I think she really likes you, sort this out Luce. Stop being so afraid, they don’t call you Tough for nothing.”

Lucy rolled her eyes at the ginger girl, chucking at her words.

“Right, I’m off. No more ignoring the chat, don’t go and roll under the covers, and do not take it all out in the gym. We’re here for you.”

Lucy hugged Keira, she loved the girl so much, even if it wasn’t in a romantic way, she would always have love for her.

“I won’t. I’m sorry. Thank you Keira”

Keira walked out the front door. Looking back at Lucy as she opened her car door. “Fix it Lucia”

The shorter girl drove off, leaving Lucy to sort out her shit.

——————

Leah scrolled through tiktok, when she heard her door go. She wasn’t expecting anyone, she looked through the fish eye to see who it was. She nearly dropped her phone. It was Lucy.

She hesitated to open the door, she’d spent those last two weeks trying to forget the girl, trying desperately to ignore the pain.

Trying to forget all the feelings she had for the brunette.

She opened the door to see a very nervous looking Lucy, a look she’d never seen on the girl before.

“Can we talk Lee?”

“Erm, yeah, sure. Come in.”

Lucy made her way in, she waited for Leah to lead the way. She took them into her living room, she motioned for Lucy to take a seat, she then sat as far as she could form the brunette.

“Well firstly, I’m so sorry for how our last chat went. How this has all happened.”

She paused. Trying to find the right words.

“Lee, I like you, I really, really like you. I’ve not really known how to go about it because I know you don’t feel the same, and that’s fine. But I don’t want you to think I’m like this. I’ve hated this arrangement, the rules we’ve had, only texting when we want sex. And I know I basically made those rules, and I hate myself for it. I’ve just tried to protect myself from you because I know you don’t want anything more than that, and I just didn’t want to loose you, even if it meant hurting myself.“

She looked at Leah, she could feel own eyes flooding with tears.

“And I just can’t do it anymore, it’s killing me, not being able to be with you but I need to stop this, I just can’t do it anymore.”

Lucy let out a long sigh, looking everywhere but at Leah. She was ready to be told ‘thanks but no thanks.’

Leah couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Lucy wanted her, she wanted Leah, she’d always wanted her. She didn’t think Leah wanted her. Wow. What a classic example of stupid lesbians.

Leah started to cry herself, she still had so many questions, and of course those hurt feelings don’t just disappear. They clearly needed to talk but she couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief, Lucy wanted her, Lucy actually liked her.

“Lucy, I’ve wanted more than just the sex, I’ve wanted to be with you. This has been so hard. I - I was scared to say anything because of what happened at the hotel, I was just scared. I freaked out that day. I know I shouldn’t have left with out saying anything. I know what’s why you thought I didn’t want anything more, but that’s not the case at all. You made me feel so comfortable, just being with you, I felt like I could really be myself. Even though these last couple of months have been hard, I’ve still loved every moment I’ve shared with you.”

To say Lucy was shocked was an understatement. She could feel her heart pounding hard, Leah wanted her, for more than just sex. Lucy felt a weight come off her shoulders, a small bit of hope creeping in.

The girls stared at each other, both with sad smiles on their faces, tears rolling down their cheeks.

Lucy let out a disbelieving laugh. “Wow, I can’t believe us.”

She looks at the floor, her eyes watering up.

“So you’re telling me, we both liked each other this whole time? Well I mean I hope you liked me in some way. But I mean we both wanted more?”

Leah laughed through her tears, wiping her face.

“What a pair of idiots, I guess we were just scared to lose something we both desperately wanted.”

Lucy nodded. “Can we hug?”

Leah couldn’t hold back the smile. “Of course.”

The girls held each other for a couple

of minutes, just feeling the embrace from the other. They hadn’t actually hugged before now, it felt completely right.

“I want to take you on a date.”

Leah stepped back, looking into Lucy’s eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I want to start over, if you’re up for it?”

Leah smiled, she wrapped her arms around Lucy’s neck.

“I’d like that.”

“Good, I also want to hold off on sex for a while. I think we should go slow. I know this had all been a lot.”

Leah nodded she would of course miss the sex but knew it was right, they needed to go slow.

They ended up watching a few films, before Lucy headed home.

Leah walked her to the door, smiling so hard her cheeks hurt.

“I’ll see you for our date then?”

Lucy smiled, all her teeth were on show.

“Definitely.”

They kissed for a couple of minutes at the door. A whole new feeling running between both girls.

“I need to stop, or I’ll break my first rule I’ve made.” She bit her lip, staring at Leah now swollen kissed lips.

They said their goodbyes at the door, as hard as it was. She needed to plan her date.

[johnkrrasinski]

started from a call

full masterlist

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x female!reader

Word count: 3,610

Warning: angst with a happy ending! that's all.

Summary: written for @wkemeup's 9k writing challenge with the prompt "character a leaves an embarrassing, drunk message on character b’s voicemail and spends the rest of the night trying to discreetly delete it from [b]’s phone." inspired by a bit of ross and rachel from friends too. you found out from steve that bucky was in love with you in high school but after he returns home with a girl in his arm, you cancelled your plans to tell him how you feel. will you and bucky have your happy ending?

a/n: please like, reblog and leave a feedback. :) enjoy!

"Alright, I'll see you tonight. Bye." He leaned against the kitchen counter and hung up the phone with a grin on his face. "You hear that, Sam? We're going on our third date tonight." He threw his phone up into the air and caught it so casually without spilling a drop of his coffee sitting on his right hand. "Looks like I'm getting that 300 bucks soon."

"Hey, easy. You ain't going to that date yet, who knows? She could bail on you. It doesn't count if the date doesn't end well."

"Oh, but it will. I just gotta turn on my charm and next thing you know, we're already meeting the parents stage."

"Meeting the parents? That's a big step from you, Buck."

"Hey, I'm a man of my words. If I said that I'm going to change this year then I'm gonna stick to it."

"So Leah isn't just a one-time thing to get 300 bucks?"

"Maybe yes, maybe no. We'll see how tonight goes. But one thing's for sure is that I'm getting that 300 bucks."

Sam and Bucky made a bet as their New Year's resolution that Bucky would never go on a second date with any girl or remember to call her in the morning after a wild night. His commitment issues had given him a reputation as the player in the gang. It wasn't a new thing anymore to anyone that when they visited Bucky's place in the morning, they would see a girl with a dopey smile and slightly ruffled hair walking out of his apartment, giddy that Bucky just made a promise to call her later.

You, Natasha, Wanda, Sam and Steve were hanging out at Nat's place. The six of you had been friends since college. You, Nat, Bucky and Steve had known each other since high school and the four of you kept in touch despite going to separate universities. You met Wanda when you went to NYU and Steve met Sam while he was in Harvard. Long story short, after the four of you graduated, you and Wanda lived together as roommates and even started your own bakery business. Steve and Bucky lived in the same building as you and Natasha and Sam lived nearly alone. They were too independent for roommates. Don't even start on Natasha and how much she valued her personal space. That's how the six of you ended up here, gathered at your place on a Saturday afternoon.

"Are you gonna pick her up tonight?"

"Of course. Gonna clean up well, bring her some flowers and knock on her door at 7 pm precisely. Which girl isn't gonna fall for that?" Bucky walked over to the couch you and Nat were sitting on and leaned on the headrest, his arms caging both you and Natasha.

You didn't say anything nor did Natasha because she knew about your feelings for Bucky. Despite never feeling that way about Bucky in high school, your feelings changed a week ago after learning that Bucky used to be in love with you but never had the courage to tell you. That's why he never had a girlfriend during his high school years and he wanted to take you to prom and confess his feelings to you but he was too late. Another guy had already snooped in first.

You were his first love but it wasn't reciprocated until now. That's why in college, he learned how to get over you and slept with as many women as possible because he felt like he lost four years of his life of finding the one. He never intended to be a player and feed girls empty promises, it just kind of became his way of dating. He was too afraid that no one could live up to you yet he enjoyed being with women. Hence, the bet.

The day you found out from Steve about Bucky's past feelings for you while playing truth or dare, you immediately wanted to call him up but Bucky was out of town for a few days and as soon as he was back home, he had Leah in his arm. Your heart was crushed. Wanda told you that it would probably last for a few days and that he'd eventually be single again but you totally did not expect this thing to turn into something serious. You loved Sam with every fibre of your being, he was like the big brother you never had, but you wanted to curse him for making that bet.

So you just rolled your eyes and stayed silent throughout this entire conversation, even though your heart felt like it was being stabbed over and over again. "Alright, I gotta go. Got a big date tonight. I'll see you guys in a few hours." Just like that, Bucky walked out of the room without knowing the pain his words caused you.

The next day you were sitting in your bed watching The Notebook in your pyjamas because you were too heartbroken to do anything productive. It was Sunday so you could just have a whole day to yourself and do absolutely nothing but cry. Wanda knocked on your door bringing a plate of cookies and she had a pitiful look on her face. "y/n? Sweetie? I made you these cookies, they might make you feel better." Sometimes you thank the stars for bringing her into your life.

"Thank you, Wanda. You're so nice to me." You know you probably sound like a hormonal whiny kid but everything made you cry at the moment.

"Do you need anything else? I know how it feels to get your heartbroken, trust me. When me and Vision had a fight and we didn't talk for days all I wanted was to curl up and never leave my bed, so in case you need anything, I'm here." She offered you that warm smile of hers.

"No, all I want right now is to just eat these cookies and go back to my film, thanks Wan."

"Okay, I'll be outside." Your pity party was interrupted when Nat arrived in her leather jacket and burst into your room.

"Get up, you are taking a shower and you're getting that face beat."

"Natasha, what the hell? Leave me alone."

"Y/N, listen to me. I got a date for you. His name is Scott and he's a real nice guy, he's funny, he's a good friend of mine and he is really smart. He is so much better than Bucky, I promise you. Now c'mon, I already told him that you are meeting him tonight at Stark's restaurant at 7."

You whined, doing anything you can to get her to leave you alone with your tears and your cookies but you knew that once Natasha set her mind on something, there's no talking her way out of it. Damn that woman with her determination.

"Y/N, c'mon! Wallowing all day isn't you. I know you and what's good for you. That's why I found you a great guy who will charm you so good that you will forget Barnes even existed. You can't let him win, y/n. If he's going to be happy with someone else, then you better show him that you can be much happier with other people."

You stared at her, trying to absorb her words. There's some wisdom in that. You're not the type to cry over a guy, not even for even Bucky Barnes. So you let Natasha drag you to the shower and asked Wanda to do your hair when she does your makeup. She chose an outfit for you, a dress that was not too sexy but chic enough to leave a good first impression.

Scott was early to the restaurant and he looked elated to see you. He was wearing a grey suit with no tie and he had a really exuberant smile on his face, the type that drew people easily. You could see why Natasha called him a nice guy.

"Wow, sorry, I just- didn't expect you to be this beautiful."

"Ah, thank you, Scott. Have you been waiting long?"

"No, not at all. I just arrived here like five minutes ago."

The night went on and Scott did most of the asking and talking, you answered each question curtly with forced enthusiasm in your face and body language. You weren't even listening to half of the things he said because your mind kept playing images of Bucky with Leah and how you heard from Sam that the date went well so he lost 300 bucks. You kept thinking about Bucky and Leah and how they would probably get married and have kids and live in the suburbs with a golden retriever while you'd still be single and you'd compare every man you meet to Bucky. Maybe it was your karma for not reciprocating his feelings in high school.

Five glasses of wine and you spent more time nodding than talking. Honestly, all you wanted to do was to just go home and go back to The Notebook because their love story was much better than your love life. Scott woke you out of your daze, "Natasha told you that I was cuter than this, did she?" after you gulped your sixth glass of wine.

"Oh Scott, I'm so sorry. It's not you, it's me. I know it sounds cliche but it's just... I'm not in a place where I'm looking for a boyfriend. You are a really likeable guy and I swear, if we had met at another time, maybe I would be a better date but right now, I just- I have someone else in my mind." You sighed, it felt like a relief to get that off your chest.

"Is this guy... an ex-boyfriend?"

You chuckled, "no... He wishes."

Scott nodded, "look, I don't know what your situation is but I've been through a divorce and it's never easy. But eventually, you'll be fine. You can't see it now because you haven't had closure." Then it was as if the bulb above your head was turned on.

"That's it.  Closure, yeah. That's all I need. Okay, give me a minute. I'm gonna call him now and I'm going to get my closure."

Scott sat there watching you comically trying to find your phone in your purse and tapped on Bucky's contact number. The normal you would be sweating with every ring but intoxicated you had no worries in the world... For now.

"This is Bucky. Can't pick up right now, leave a message." Beep.

"Hello, yes, Bucky! Or James, should I call you James? I always thought Bucky was a weird name. Anyways, I'm just calling to tell you that I am fine and I am on a date with Scott. And speaking of dates, I just gotta tell you that I'm happy to hear that your date went well. And that, my friend, means that I am over you. That's right, I'm over you. Tell Leah I say hi." You said sarcastically.

You hung up the phone and threw your phone back into your purse. You felt like you just won a chess game.

The next morning you decided to sleep in because your heart was pounding and you could barely sit up without feeling like you might fall. You were supposed to be working at the bakery but since you owned the bakery, Wanda let you sleep it off until you recover. You couldn't remember anything from last night, how you got back to your apartment was a mystery. You tried to put the pictures together, from being forced to go on a date, meeting a guy named Sean? Simon? Sebastian? Scott! Yes, Scott. You ordered your meals and then... Nothing, it was all blurry. You weren't even sure if anything happened at all after eating your meals.

The apartment was empty because Wanda was working at the bakery and it was just you with your hangover pills. Bucky came to your apartment without knocking because Wanda told him on the phone that you were home. He greeted you with a smile and asked about your date.

"Uh, let's see. I think there was a restaurant, I know there was wine. And there's a guy, Scott and pretty much that's all I can recall."

Bucky made a yikes face. Seeing the state you were in, he could do the math (of the wine you had). You probably enjoyed the alcohol more than the guy. What a doofus, he thought. If he was the one going on a date with you, you'd definitely remember every detail from last night.

"Leah's downstairs and I'm taking her back to her place but I left my keys here last night. Have you seen it?"

"No, check the drawers. Maybe Wanda put 'em there."

"Ah, okay." He opened the drawers and found the keys to his bike.

"Did we... Speak on the phone last night?"

"Nope, my phone was dead and I didn't charge it all night so I haven't really checked it. Why?"

"Nothing, nothing. It's just... Never mind. My memories are a bit hazy right now. You should go, say hi to Leah for me."

Bucky nodded as you walked back to your room to go lie down. Your question reminded him that he should probably check his phone now because there could be work-related messages but the first thing he heard was a voicemail from you. "Oh, y/n. I got your message!"

That instantly stopped you in your tracks. Your eyes went wide and you froze. You immediately turned around and ran to grab his phone away from him. Bucky had a confused look on his face, "who's Scott?"

"Oh my God, no, Bucky, give me the phone. Give me the phone!" But it was already too late, he was already halfway through your voicemail and by the time you successfully snatched his phone out of his grasp, he had already heard every word.

Bucky stood there dumbfounded, he needed time to process everything you just said to him. "What do you- what do you mean you're over me?"

"Oh, God... Alright, um- lately, I've um- sort of, have... Feelings for you." You never had to chase a guy or confess your crush first so this felt new and my God, it was nerve-racking.

"You have feelings for me..." He said it as if he was convincing himself that his ears got it right. Bucky couldn't believe the words that just escaped through your lips, for years he had dreamed of this moment. Though never did he ever want you to make the first move but adolescent him wanted to hear you say what he'd been wanting to say to you too.

He didn't say anything for what felt like minutes and you couldn't decipher his thoughts from the look on his face. "I need to sit down," he pulled one of the dining chairs and leaned on his side in a defeated posture.

"Bucky... Please say something." You alerted him in a hushed tone, not wanting to startle him than you already did. But he didn't. He was lost at words. What the hell was he supposed to tell her?

"Look Bucky, I'm sorry for telling you this way but I had to. I just- I've been wanting to talk to you about it since you came back to New York, well- actually, since Steve told me but-"

"Whoa, Steve told you?!" He interrupted.

"Yeah, it just accidentally slipped when we were playing truth or dare..."

"Okay well," he stood up from his seat, yet he still couldn't look you in the eye. "I can't do this right now, Leah's waiting for me downstairs and I gotta go." He basically ran out of the room and slammed the door behind him, leaving you alone.

Once your hangover had begun dissipating, you decided to help Wanda at the bakery and took the night shift. She must've been exhausted from managing the bakery alone while also helping the employees in the kitchen so you told her to go home and leave it to you. The bakery's usually slower at night.

When it was nearing closing time and your employees had gone home, you decided to clean up and turned off the lights and checked everything one last time before locking the door. The bell above the door dinged and you were slightly annoyed because who the hell comes to the bakery at this hour?

"I'm sorry we're clo...sed." It was Bucky. He stood there in a black coat, with an expression you still couldn't figure out. "Bucky, what are you-"

"You have no right to tell me that you've got feelings for me." His tone was harsh, he never spoke that way to you or anyone... Ever.

"What?"

He walked closer to you, maintaining his gaze, "You can not tell me that you've got feelings for me now when I'm doing well with my life and Leah..."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I was in love with you for years! Years, y/n! And you never said and did anything and now when everything's going well you're ruining it!"

"I am ruining it?" You repeated the question because you couldn't believe what you just heard. How dare he said those hurtful things to you.

"Yes! I was doing fine with Leah and now I don't know what's going to happen with me and her anymore..."

"Yeah, well, I was doing fine before I found out that YOU were in love with me and never had the balls to tell me!" You did everything you could to not cry, you hated crying in the middle of an argument.

"Hey, it's not like I didn't try. There were your ex-boyfriends and your dates and I had to move on. I couldn't wait forever! And now, now you're too late."

"Oh, so what? You're just gonna walk away and pretend that this never happened?"

"Yes, I'm going to do exactly that and I'm going to go see Leah." He turned around like he did earlier in your apartment and left you alone once again with your heartbreak.

"Fine! Go ahead and see Leah because I don't give a fuck about cowards like you or whoever you sleep with." You slammed the door and tried everything you could to not have a breakdown here because you really hated letting an argument hurt you. You sat on one of the chairs where the customers would sit and you hid your face with your hands and cried.

Not because you just lost an argument but because of what Bucky said and it felt like you had lost Bucky before you even had him. Now there was no hope left for you and Bucky, things were too complicated.

You didn't know how long you had cried there, alone, in the dimmed lighting of your shop but after you felt like the tears had dried, you wiped the traces of your tears from your cheeks with the back of your thumb. You stood from your seat and was ready to go home. You couldn't wait to eat some leftover pizzas, take a warm shower and cry into your pillows until you fall asleep.

But when you were about to leave, you saw Bucky standing on the other side of the door, watching you through the windows with a softer expression on his face. You opened the door and Bucky instantly grabbed your waist and kissed you as if his life depended on it.

You gave in to his kiss, letting him pour every desire and yearning into your lips for as long as he wanted. You grabbed his face because you wanted him impossibly closer and you shut your eyes, letting your guard down. Because it was Bucky, and you'd known him for as long as you could remember and you both deserved this moment.

Bucky eventually pulled away until both of you were running out of air. You were breathless from his kiss, you never knew he was such a good kisser. (It's Bucky and he's had a lot of women on his bed, of course, he was excellent at it. Who were you kidding?) But now that you've had your own front-row experience, you felt a tad of possessiveness at the thought of sharing those lips or any part of him with anyone else.

"I couldn't go back to her knowing you are here alone and I had thrown away what I've wanted for as long as I could remember."

"I'm glad you came back." You pressed your foreheads and you rested your hands on his chest. You could get used to this.

"I hope it's not too late to say this but, y/n y/l/n, will you let me take you to dinner and see a movie after maybe?"

"I wasn't the one who said it's too late," you halfheartedly teased him.

"Shut up, so is that a yes or a no?"

You bit your lip and nodded, "yes. Definitely a yes." You stared into his ocean blue eyes, so deep and beautiful, you could easily get lost in it.

"y/n y/ln, I'm going to put all of your ex-boyfriends to shame."

"Hm, we'll see about that." You put your arms around his neck. Then a thought crossed your mind and your smile faded away, "what are you gonna do about Leah though?"

"I'll talk to her in the morning. Let's take you home now, yeah? It's getting late."

You bit your lip and nodded, "okay."

Ninth grade you dreamed of popular jocks and athletic seniors, but little did you know that, sometimes, the one who sincerely loved you was the book nerd who loved The Hobbit a little too much.

[tyb1]

If It’s The Right Thing To Do (2)

Part 2

Series List

Words: 2849

Character: Seth Clearwater

Dialogue prompt: I nearly jumped out of my skin, I turned around to see an angry Sam walking towards me with murder in his eyes. He grabbed me then began to shake me violently. “Why didn’t you tell anyone (Y/N)! I’ve been searching for you all morning!” 

*idk how to feel about this writing* :(

@anndaydreamer​

I awoke to Seth's body pressed against mine. I haven't felt this feeling in a while and yet it was so comforting. As much as I wanted to stay and wake him up with my morning kisses I couldn't. I needed to be home before Sam got up or else we would be in a warzone.

I tried to unwrap Seth's arms from around my waist but he only held on tighter. "Seth wake up! I have to go."

"No, two more minutes I promise."

I rolled over so I could have a better view of his face. He only placed his head on my chest snuggling deeper into the blankets. These were the moments I missed the most. The days where Seth would stay over while Sam was on patrol and him leaving early in the morning so Sam wouldn't catch him. I'd laugh every time he got caught and Sam would always have to give us "the talk" which made me laugh even harder.

"I miss these moments (Y/N). Sometimes I wish things could go back to normal."

"Me too Seth but now we have to keep our distance for our own safety."

Seth groaned, "I can't keep my distance from you."

"I know it's hard but we have to for now."

Seth lifted his head giving me a long passionate kiss. It was one of those kisses where you got lightheaded and it felt like you were in a trance. "I love you (Y/N)."

"I love you too."

Those were the last words I had said to him before I left. He watched me get dressed and walked me out to the front door. Seth even volunteered to take me out to breakfast but I had to decline for my own sake.

I sat in my car for a few moments before I made my way into the house. The house was spotless; there was so much sign of rage from Sam. Everything was in order from the kitchen all the way to the living room. I found this weird because if the guys were over the whole house would smell like muffins and chicken. It was so strange it almost gave me chills to be in here.

"Where were you last night (Y/N)!"

I nearly jumped out of my skin, I turned around to see an angry Sam walking towards me with murder in his eyes. He grabbed me then began to shake me violently. "Why didn't you tell anyone (Y/N)! I've been searching for you all morning!"

"I didn't tell you because I knew you wouldn't have allowed me to see him!"

Sam scoffed, he still had his firm grip on my arms. I glanced behind him to see Quil and Embry with guilty expressions on their faces. It had finally clicked in my head. Both of them had told Sam where I went off before the sun arose. They knew that I was going to see the Cullens. They just waited it out so they could tell Sam that I was with Seth.

I somehow managed to get out of Sam's grip. I walked up to them violently pointing my finger in their face. "You guys really stabbed me in the back like that!? I would jump in front of a bullet for you and yet you still snitched!"

Embry dropped his head lower and began to kick the pebbles on the ground. I could tell from his gestures that he didn't want any parts in the whole situation. Paul walked into the living room with a smug grin on his face"You're the one who went to sleep with the traitors so who really stabbed who in the back?"

I shot a nasty glare at Paul, I wanted to rip the ugly grin from his face. "Go to hell Paul."

Sam grabbed me again pulling me into the house. He sat me on the couch while he began to pace and forth. I watched as he muttered curse words from his mouth, all I wanted was for Emily to show up and get me out of this mess.

"So...you went to the Cullens just to sleep with Seth?" He leaned against the wall while crossing his legs and arms he reminded me so much of a Dad. I always felt like that was his problem, Sam was always too busy trying to be my dad that he forgets how to act like an older brother.

"No Sam! Jake called me and told me that Seth got hurt so I went over there because of how they screamed on the phone. I thought he was dead!"

"Why would you go over there (Y/N)! You could have been labeled as one of them. I had to convince everyone that you weren't anywhere near them. I tried to tell them that you were at a friend's house but no, you were at the Cullens!"

"For a good reason Sam."

"Just like Jacob, Leah, and Seth! They claim that they're over there for good reasons."

I jumped from my seat but quickly sat back down when the vein in his head began to protrude. I sat there quietly. He was speaking the truth and that was a tough pill to swallow. I snuck out of the house without informing him of my whereabouts. I also went over to the Cullens when he specifically told me not to. Sam had every right to be mad and worried about me.

"I'm sorry."

"You have two choices, you can either obey my rules and respect me or pack your bags and be with the Cullens." He left without saying another word, no eye contact or remorse. Emily appeared from the kitchen whispering "I'm sorry."

Once she left I threw my head into a pillow then screamed. Not once but twice, it seemed like nothing in my life was going accordingly to plan. I heard footsteps enter the room, without looking up I had already known who it was.

"Was the sex even good?"

"Paul go to hell with gasoline underwear!"

I brushed past him making sure that I made contact with his shoulder. I walked upstairs towards my room. I fell on my bed screaming into my pillow. "You have two choices, you can either obey my rules and respect me or pack your bags and be with the Cullens" those words kept ringing throughout my head. I loved Seth. He was my whole world but the pack is my family. You never turn back on your family. Sam taught me that at a young age ever since dad turned his back on us. I had to force myself to go to sleep. I didn't want to hear Sams's wrath anymore. It seemed like nowadays I had to force myself to go to sleep to cope with the pain.

I awoke to someone shoving me against my headboard. I opened my eyes to see Emily standing above me with a phone in her hand. "Is it Santa Claus?"

Emily laughed, "No it's someone by the name of Marie. They said you told them to call."

I gave her a questioning look while taking the phone from her head. The numbers that appeared on the phone nearly made me choke on my saliva. It was the same number that was used to call about Seth. I quickly ushered Emily out of the room so I could confidently speak to "Marie"

"Are you freaking crazy Seth? Are you trying to get me on Sam's bad side again?" I placed my back against the floor before I slid down to the bottom. I could hear him laughing from the other side.

"I swear I'm not but I really want to see you. I really miss you (Y/N)."

My heart began to flutter. I got those butterflies again, I've always hated those things they constantly made me act out of character. "I miss you too Seth but I can't risk it again. Sam would have both of our heads."

"Meet me at LaPush beach. I'm on my way right now."

"What!? Seth, I can't!"

"I'll see you there. I can't wait, I feel like Romeo and you're Juliet."

"You know they both die at the end right?"

"Huh, I forgot about that. Well, we're more like beauty and the beast except for you're the beast, and I'm the beauty."

I started to laugh, it was an actual genuine laugh. I haven't laughed like that since we were all together. I hated the fact that our family was so torn apart. I threw my head on the wall trying to stop myself from crying. I couldn't bring myself to speak another word, if I did I knew I'd end up crying on the phone like I did every night since he left.

"(Y/N)? Are you still there?"

"Yeah, I'll meet you there in 10 minutes." I stood up from the floor while hanging up the phone. The door of my room flew open causing me to nearly crack my head open on my desk. I turned ready to fight the person behind the door only to see Emily standing there.

"Were you listening to my conversation?"

"Yes, but I want to help you. (Y/N) I know how you're feeling right now. Your brother is so invested in the treaty and keeping them away that he hasn't taken your feelings into consideration."

I looked up Emily, at first I didn't want to believe it. She'd always picked Sam's side when we argued not once had she taken my side. I was always close to Leah, I hate to admit it but she was more of an older sister than Sam was an older brother. Now Emily wanted to take over which is completely fine but I look at her more as a mother figure than a sister.

"How can I trust you? You're probably like the rest of them."

"When you guys were arguing today I could tell he was really stressed so I offered him a stress reliever." She began to wink at me. I almost threw up the bile that was in my stomach. As much as I didn't want to believe it Emily actually had my back. He'd be too busy with Emily to think about me.

"You're literally the best!" I wrapped my arms around her giving her a big hug.

"If you want to meet Seth you better go now."

I nodded my head then opened my window. I jumped into the tree then quickly made my way down. There was no way anyone would spot me. Collin and Brady were on watch for the night so that meant I could get away with this. I went to my car cranking it once again. This could be really good or really horrible.

The drive to LaPush was very frightening. I kept looking in the woods to see if someone was watching me. I put all of my faith in Emily, she needed to play her part well in order for the plan to work out smoothly. I couldn't afford to be on Sam's bad side again.

I parked near the trees so no one could notice. In Lapush everyone knew everyone so I had to make sure I kept my guard up. I walked onto the beach looking around for Seth but he was nowhere to be found. "Clearwater," I said in a whispered yell.

"(Y/N) I'm right here!"

I turned to see him standing near the edge of the woods. I ran towards him jumping into his muscular arms. My nose immediately engulfed his hazelnut scent. "I missed you."

"You saw me this morning silly." He wrapped his arms around me making sure to support me as we held one another. There was a comfortable silence between us. Neither of us dared to speak another word.

I playfully smacked him against the head. "That's for calling me a beast earlier."

"Ouch (Y/N), You can't get mad because I'm the beauty and the brains of the relationship." He engulfed me in another hug. I began to squirm when he placed kisses on my cheek.

"Seth stop now your saliva is on my cheek." We both laughed at our antics.

"What a cute reunion!" I shot my head up from Seth's neck to see Paul standing near a tree clapping his hands. Embry, Quil, and Jared soon appeared behind him. They gave Seth a disgusting look as if he just murdered someone.

"This isn't your territory anymore Clearwater," Paul said, he stopped with his childish antics and now was serious. He started to walk closer to us slowly sizing Seth up.

Seth placed me behind him taking guard. 'How did you find us?"

Jared laughed, "Your scent couldn't get past me. We thought it was one of those bloodsuckers on our territory. Luckily it was only you and (Y/N)."

I stepped in front of Seth glaring at them. I had never back down to them and today would not be the first. "Just leave us alone. You guys are always ruining something."

Jared and Paul ignored me, their only focus was Seth. "You know what we do to traitors right? We rip them into shreds, ask the Cullens, one inch away from being one with the ground."

Seth scoffed, "You don't scare me, Paul."

The tension in the air grew, I knew deep down that there wasn't going to be a good outcome. Someone was going to get hurt tonight and it wasn't Paul or Jared. Seth had a target on his head and Paul being the hot head that he was wanted to take that target down.

"Mommy isn't here to stop me now Seth." Paul walked even closer to us.

"Paul we should just scare them. Now let's not take things to the extreme." Jared tried to stop him but at the same time, he didn't want to be caught in Paul's wrath.

"Jared, he's a threat to us now, he could go back and tell those bloodsuckers everything." Paul pulled me to the side out of his way then pushed Seth roughly, "Now do something Clearwater."

He winced, that was a red flag in my eyes. Seth still wasn't healed from yesterday, he was still sore. Seth wasn't here to fight he wasn't a fighter he was a lover and yet Paul was still here nagging him.

"Come on Paul just leave us alone. He'll leave!" I jumped in front of Seth once more so Paul wouldn't push him again. This time he pushed me hard into a tree. It knocked the breath out of me, I fell to my knees gasping for air. Seth caught me in time before my head hit the ground.

"(Y/N)! Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine" I actually wasn't fine. My back was killing me. I didn't want to say anything to trigger Seth into phasing. If he phased right now he could pose a threat and that could give Paul the green light to kill him.

"You're not fine. There's blood on my hands and it isn't mine." I reached back to my back and there was a minor cut which caused a lot of blood. Seth glared at Paul, his body began to shake violently. I reached up to caress his cheek. I even tried to turn his head in my direction so he could look into my eyes.

"Seth calm down it's okay I swear." Before I could stop him he phased in front of me and so did Paul. I always hated when Seth would phase. He wasn't a person to just get angry out of the blue, you had to push him there and that's exactly what Paul did.

Jared held up his fist motioning for no one to interfere. Paul and Seth's life was on the line and they weren't doing anything about it. They were trying to rip one another's head off. There was a difference between when they'd fight on the reserve and right now.

"Are you guys crazy!? You're just going to let them fight to the death!?"

"Go stop them (Y/N)."

It was already too late; they were too deep into the woods. There was only one way to stop them and I knew this person would have my ass. I ran from the woods to my car, I needed to get to Sam before one of them got hurt. I sped down the road back to the house as fast as my car could take me. My back was aching and my head was throbbing from the impact. The reserve wasn't that far all I needed to do was make it back home without killing myself.

I jumped out of my car as fast as I could. I left the car running not bothering to cut it off. The front door was locked so I had to make my way to the back. I ran to Sam's door and tried to open it. It was locked so I started to bang on it.

"Sam! He's going to kill him! Please Sam he's going to fucking kill him." I began to sob everything started to hit me at once. I started to punch, kick, and even scream at the door anything to get Sam's attention.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

TTD for 10x21: Splintered

First of all, they talked about Leah A LOT in TTD. One of the Property Brothers, Drew, was on as a guest, and even he kept mentioning her. Which tells me he was coached because other than one question Chris asked, why else would he? They didn’t confirm she was a hallucination or anything, but they did confirm it was Leah’s knife and that Daryl giving it to Carol was meant to be him letting go of Leah.

So even if we turn out to be wrong about the hallucination (doubtful) people don’t have to worry about a continuing romance between them. From a hallucination standpoint, you could say he’s letting go of the hallucination, and in this episode, I truly do think we see sequences that foreshadow him find Beth, so…

Okay, so they didn’t say how long it would be, but apparently ep 22 is “extended” so it will be a longer than usual episode. I noticed a black and white chess set behind Cooper. And of course, he’s at his home, but I couldn’t help but wonder if that was intentional. They also said that of the 6 bonus episodes, they filmed this one first. I’m not sure why or if we should be reading into that, but it’s kind of interesting.

About the pirate book? They say in the Behind the Dead stuff that it’s important because when Daryl and Carol first talked about leaving in 10x01, she wanted him to come on the boat with him and they could be pirates. So talk about leaving on the bike, which we know they’ll do in the spinoff, and pirates, are all synonymous. Not that I needed it, but that’s just proof to me that this foreshadows those future storylines, especially for how/when they’ll find Beth.

So, the things they talked about and emphasized are all things I’m reading into as TD clues.

They talked a lot about why Dog went with Carol rather than Daryl. At first, I think Chris asked Melissa this. I didn’t take away tons from what MMB said. She talked about how, in 10x18, Carol was spoiling Dog and giving him food, so that may have been why. But also that maybe Carol just needed the company, and Daryl needed some alone time. And dogs are very intuitive about that sort of thing. Then Drew (Property Brother—I had to go look up is name so I wasn’t objectifying him ;D) said he felt like it was the last straw of betrayal for Daryl. Like, everyone in your life had either abandoned or betrayed you, and to add insult to injury, even your dog leaves you.

Now, that’s a weird thing to say about THIS episode. Because here, they make light of it. Daryl says “nice” and then at the end, he goes back and Dog is happy to see him, and everything is okay. So it’s weird for sometime to suggest that based on this episode, Daryl felt like Dog betrayed him, except in a salty, roll-his-eyes sort of way. So that tells me this foreshadows a time when Daryl truly will feel betrayed by everyone and totally alone.

But then, later in the episode, Cooper randomly chimed in about this again. He just went, “oh, you know that thing we were talking about earlier? I have some thoughts.” So it wasn’t something he was asked, but rather something he really wanted people to know.

He basically said that, as far as why Dog went with Carol, we could also ask why Dog went with Daryl when Daryl first met him as a pup. Why did he go with Daryl over Leah so often? And the answer (which is clearly symbolic/thematic) is that Daryl needed him Dog at the time. Here, Carol needs him.

Then Cooper even goes so far as to say the same thing is true of the knife. Daryl kept the knife and had the knife for a long time, because, emotionally, he needed to hang onto it. He doesn’t anymore. But Carol is in a dark place now and she needs it.

It made me think also of Beth and Daryl’s interactions in S4. You could argue that, not from a literal, plot standpoint, but from an emotional/thematic standpoint, Daryl needed her. So the writers put her with Daryl. Of course that’s not the only reason, but Daryl was in such an emotionally distraught place, that he needed Beth to pull him out of it.

So, how do we interpret that? Here’s what I’m thinking. I’ve said before that once Daryl and Carol split up (in the future when they leave together on the bike) Carol will get a reunion with Beth first, right? So I’m wondering if we’ll hit a point where Beth will want to go find Daryl, but she’ll choose to stay with Carol for a short time, because she can see Carol is in such a dark place and needs her. More on this later and some minor things in my timeline that I’m rethinking. Because I think symbolism in the episode supports it.

When they did the “in memoriam,” Chris all of sudden said, “but not the rat! He made it out of there!” *coughs Beth*

They randomly started talking about demolition because of Drew Property Brother. He joked that he wanted to put Carol on his demolition crew because of what she did to the wall. But then (again very random mention) he says that she really ought to go to Leah’s cabin and do work there, because it clearly needed more work than the kitchen did. So, I’m taking that to be their way of showing that both the wall and Leah’s cabin represent the same thing. And we’ve called both of them tombs.

About the stone soup story? Cooper said it represents all the little things Carol has done to keep people alive, when she thought she was doing the right thing. So the person getting all the ingredients eventually results in soup, which is food, which people need to live. And they’ve been talking about not having enough food right now in the show. But then Jerry says, “it doesn’t sound very tasty.” And that’s because all the little things she’s done—like blowing up the cave, letting Negan out, etc—were necessary to defeat the Whisperers and keep everyone alive, but of course it seemed really destructive at the time. So, that’s why Jerry says it doesn’t taste good. Whether the soup tastes good or not, it’s necessary to keep everyone alive.

They also talk about how Daryl isn’t seeing it this way yet. He’s not seeing that some of these things may have been necessary in the long run, even if they sucked at the time.

This is kind of minor, but several of them brought up the idea of Carol using the rat to make soup. I didn’t think of that, but given that she’s wanting for ingredients, it only make sense that she would try to use the rat, but they didn’t do that at all. And the director didn’t really say anything about it. He just kind of laughed and went, “haha, um, no, she didn’t.” And I had to chuckle at that because it really would have been the logical thing for her to. If they didn’t do that, it’s purely for the symbolism of it. We can’t have Carol putting Beth in a pot of soup, now can we? ;D

Back to Leah. When they confirmed it wasn’t her knife, they said it was significant how it passed along the chain (from Leah to Daryl to Carol) and that at the end, Daryl is willing to give it up and let Leah have it. They didn’t say how or why it was significant, just that it was. So yeah. Side-eying that.

Again, the director said Carol probably took the knife as Daryl giving her a peace offering after their fight, but symbolically it represents him letting go of Leah. Melissa also said Daryl and Carol are mirroring each other a lot here.

Another interesting thing they talked about is that Daryl realizes he needs the thing he gave Carol. While obviously this symbolically represents Beth, I’m very curious to see what it is in a more literal sense in the plot when this plays out later. But the point is, he gave Carol the knife, and then he needed it and didn’t have it. And that’s kind of what drove him to the cars and the traintracks and to find the military walkers (CRM). So it’s very interesting from a symbolic/foreshadowing standpoint.

One thing we haven’t discussed is that Daryl falls into a dry riverbed. There’s even a small bridge and a round, water tunnel (like we used to see in the opening credits) behind him. And the director said one thing about it that I thought was weird. Chris was asking him if he ever gets squeamish after being on TWD so long and if walker kills ever bother him. And he said he thought Daryl killing the walker in the ditch was one of the most brutal kills they’d ever done on the show.

Umm? I have to say I disagree. I guess I need to rewatch it. I think he stabs it in the head, but other than the obvious, it didn’t seem particularly gnarly to me. I could name 10 other kills off the top of my head that were way grosser. (Terminus, anyone? Daryl with pipe?) But I wonder if he’s hinting at something symbolic here.

Here’s an interesting thing we’ll probably analyze for a while. They said Carol taking the red bucket out to get ingredients for the soup (and bringing ingredients back in it) is a callback to season 1 when Amy brought fish back to the camp in the same red bucket. Yikes, we could go down a rabbit hole with that!

Both represent bringing food back/feeding everyone/keeping them alive. And as we already discussed, Carol does things to keep the group alive, even if they don’t “taste good.” But I wonder if we could apply that to every instance of the red we’ve seen. I mean, I know we’ve discussed the idea that what happened with Beth in Coda “had to happen” in some way. (It went the way it had to, etc.) I don’t know. But that’s definitely an interesting callback they gave us. Plus the fish symbolism, etc.

Okay, then Drew talked about the army walkers again. He said there were two of them and they were all decked out in their fatigues and Daryl actually finds a lot of supplies on them, but we didn’t see any army vehicles. So Drew said he wondered fi there was some place in the vicinity that we don’t know about yet.

And when he said that, the director, David Boyd, gave him a thumbs up. So they’re definitely confirming and hinting at future storylines here. They also confirmed (inside the dead) that Leah has a military past. So, to be fair, we don’t know if this “unknown place in the vicinity” is still standing. These guys could have come from the same place Leah did, and based on her story and the fact that they’re walkers, it might not be a thing anymore. But then again, it might.

They did talk about the Daryl under the car scene, but they didn’t say much about it. It was like they wanted to draw our attention to it, but couldn’t actually say much. They mostly talked about how the car was on pulleys and it was very safe, with no real chance of Norman getting hurt. But that was pretty much it. I mean, Glenn crawled under the dumpster to live, so maybe Beth crawled under the car? I don’t know. I’m sure that scene is super important, but I haven’t decided what I think about it yet.

They had a SUPER random callback to Lizzie, of all things, and I have no idea why, other than that this was a Carol-heavy episode. They asked Cooper what a Jerry, Nabila, and Kids spinoff would look like. Cooper said it would be a “3-wall comedy” and then started talking about how the kids would want to keep the walkers as pets. And then everyone started going, “don’t name them! Whatever you do, don’t name them!” So, they didn’t actually mention Lizzie by name, but clearly…

Um, and then we got the sneak peek of Here’s Negan. We see him digging in a field outside the walls and he finds Lucille. Then the flashback to 12 years ago starts, and he’s clearly run afoul of some kind of biker gang, but that’s all we get in the peek.

Notice the viper/snake reference on his jacket.

 That’s it for TTD.

Thoughts?

[humanmoodring-retired]

Season’s Yeetings Pt. 1 || Blanche, Connor, Nadia (x2), Regan, and Kaden

TIMING: Present PARTIES: @harlowhaunted @connorspiracy @humanmoodring @kadavernagh @chasseurdeloup SUMMARY: Another exorcism. feat. Mav the Exorcist CONTENT: Self harm, suicide attempt (possession-driven)

If it could, Nadia was sure that her heart would be beating way too fast. She was… scared didn’t seem like it could properly encompass what she was feeling. Nervous and terrified and resigned in case things went wrong. And this could really go wrong. This could go terribly, actually, ending with not just a dead body but the wrong spirit also being destroyed. But she didn’t think she could handle being like this for much longer, and she knew that there was no way in hell Cordelia could be allowed to keep her body and do whatever she wanted with it. This had to end, no matter what. She looked around her apartment, covered in dust and messy as the day she’d walked out. This was the first time she’d been in it since the wards had been put up, and it hurt a bit to be back. This was somewhere that she’d once felt safe, comfortable. She didn’t know if she’d ever feel comfortable again if she made it out of this. But she needed to steel her resolve. She looked over at the others, gave them a nod and what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “We’re just waiting for Kaden and the exorcist, right?” And her body, of course, but that didn’t need to be voiced, did it?

Regan knew that she didn’t need to remind Nadia of what she had said in the cabin. It was as good as a promise, even though she couldn’t say the word. Nadia wouldn’t die alone. No matter what happened here today, Regan could at least give her that. And anything could happen. The first aid kit Regan had set on the counter was testament to that. Nadia didn’t want to acknowledge it verbally, but her tense expressions and manic pacing -- sometimes through the floor -- said what her words didn’t. She was terrified. In some moments, Regan allowed herself to be, too. This wasn’t how Regan wanted to come back to their apartment together, both of them ghosts of their former selves, but if today went in their favor -- and she would do anything she possibly could to see that it would -- one of them could be saved.

When Blanche and a young man who she assumed to be Connor arrived, Regan backed up to the opposite side of the room, staring across at them with a tight frown and black eyes. She didn’t greet them, but she wouldn’t shame them either. She didn’t have anger inside of her anymore -- not enough to speak -- but from an objective point of view, she did blame the two of them for Nadia’s current predicament. They would set this right, or they would face consequences. They both seem determined but anxious, focused with heavy steps and tight knuckles. Blanche, especially, seemed more an adult than she ever had before. Regan silently watched as some parts of the stage were set. Candles, salt, metal which looked dangerously like iron, and more. For her own contribution, she pushed the furniture to the sides of the room, creating an open space in the center. She could see all of their footprints in the dust, layered on top of each other and the ones she had left just a couple of weeks ago. When that was done, she went back to her wall, maintaining as much distance as possible from anyone who wasn’t Nadia. “Yes,” Regan replied, Nadia’s nervous smile melting through her a little, “Kaden said he would be ready at twenty after.” She checked her watch. Soon. “As for the-- I don’t know anything about them.”

Did it make him look better or worse to show up with homework? Photocopied pages lay folded in his back pocket, but he hadn’t dared pull them out in front of the others. He’d read them countless times anyway. Connor was more than grateful for the material’s Leah had copied from her archives for him, as well as everything he'd found while researching with Rio, but he still hadn’t managed to find anything that related to the exact situation they’d found themselves in. As far as he could tell, exorcising the wrong soul from a body just didn’t happen all that often. He supposed either he was that much of a fuck up, or Nadia’s situation was just that special. Regardless, he reckoned the older exorcist would know. “Do you know where Kaden found this bloke?” Connor asked nobody in particular. He wondered if it would be impolite to smoke a cigarette while they waited. He opted against it, since the woman with the dark eyes seemed ready to kill him at any moment. “I mean, I appreciate the help. I really do. I just wanna check what exactly we know about him.”

The somber expression on Blanche’s face couldn’t seem to leave, even as she entered the apartment and took a look at Nadia and Regan. “Hey,” she said in greeting, her tone flat. She couldn’t say much else. Blanche dropped her smaller bag on a piece of furniture and began to set up as much as she could - Blanche was conscious enough to keep the iron as far from Regan as possible. She glanced at Connor as he began to speak, pulling the long black bag she had on her back off. “He has his connections. I’m sure he’s adequate,” Blanche replied, though she was unsure too. Granny had instilled a distrust of exorcists in her from when she was young. She wasn’t sure how much of that was out of fear of being exorcised herself, but Blanche knew that a lot of people liked to masquerade with powers they didn’t actually have for the chance to get quick cash from desperate people. She unzipped the large bag, before pausing, with a frown. Warily, she announced, “I borrowed a shotgun from a friend,” she said, pulling it out. Well, really, she borrowed it from Stan, who was all too keen to give her a firearm after she got stabbed in his place of business. “It’s loaded with salt rounds. In case things get… Bad.” She glanced at the door, moving her equipment out of the way. “I suppose we’ll hear them.” She looked to Connor. “And we’ll feel Cordelia whenever she’s nearby.”

It had been so long since Kaden pulled up to Regan’s apartment, pulling up to park in front of the building felt strange and foreign at this point. Putain, he hated that. Still, there was a small sense of relief. This was finally almost over. “Welcome home,” he said to Cordelia as he led her from the car up to the top floor. It was eerie being here, even though there were plenty of people waiting inside. Maybe it was because of how abandoned the building felt now. Maybe it was because of how defeated Cordelia seemed, almost accepting of her fate. Almost. Didn’t matter. He carted her upstairs and walked her in. His heart caught in his chest as he looked around the room. Empty, cleared out, and covered in dust nothing like he remembered. It was strange to see it like this. It was strange, too, to see Regan in this context. Willingly, at that. Black eyes and distanced, it was almost easy to forget who it was. Almost. This wasn’t the return to this building he expected for both of them. He winced when he remembered what he’d done to Cordelia’s wrist. Nadia’s body’s wrist. Hopefully Regan didn’t think too poorly of him. But it was too late to do anything about it now. And if this worked, a broken wrist was the least of Nadia’s worries. Blanche was here, too. With a shotgun no less. He shot her a look but let it lie. And also some kid he assumed was Connor. He couldn’t see Nadia even if he wanted to. Now where the fuck was this exorcist?

“Howdy, folks,” the man with a mustache said as he walked through the door behind Kaden, tipping his stetson. “I heard we have a big here nut to crack.” He took a good look around the room and assessed the situation. “I see you all followed instructions. Thank you kindly, this set up should work just fine. Just fine.” He noted the handcuffed woman in the center of the room and made a quick guess that was the little lady in question. “Mr. Langley, good to see you again. I suppose some introductions might be in order. My name’s Maverick, but you can call me Mav.” He was told there was going to be a medium, another younger exorcist, and a banshee. He wasn’t sure what a banshee was doing in these here parts or what her particular interest was in this here ghost, but he wasn’t one to question. Not if he was going to rake and scrape himself together a handsome pay day out of this job. “First thing’s first. I believe a repossession is in order, is that the case here? No need to dilly dally if we’re all ready and raring to go. You all know the plan?”

“What a fucking gentleman,” Nadia snapped at Kaden as they walked into her old apartment. Good memories, she remembered. There was the cabinet where she stored all of her equipment, and that was the couch that she’d passed out on after a couple of good heist, and there was what was left of the kitchen table that she’d definitely destroyed on her way out of this place. She rolled her shoulders, felt Kaden’s knife shift from where she’d tucked it in the waistband of her jeans, the shirt covering it up. She’d just need to snap her handcuffs off like she had the last time this happened. Whatever, she could do it. She could do it. She looked around the room, glancing at the little banshee, the children, the shadow of her host. “Howdy, folks,” she said mockingly. “This looks like a party, huh?” When the mustachioed hombre walked in, she rolled her eyes and glanced at the shadow, at Nadia Diaz. Give me your best shot, she said with her eyes.

For her part, Nadia didn’t know what the hell she was supposed to do. This next part was on her, right? She had to get this started, wasn’t she? She was. Of course she was. But she was a bit nervous. Really nervous. Scared, maybe, was the right word. She gritted her teeth as she and Cordelia stared at each other, steeling herself. All she could see was her reflection in the mirror, grinning as she faded out of existence. Except Nadia couldn’t fade now. She couldn’t. She couldn’t. She stepped forward instead. “Right. I-- I repossess her, and you exorcise her out, right?” It sounded easy. This was her body, too. It was her body. She could do this. “Is there…” She trailed off as she looked at Cordelia. What a mess the two of them had made of her life. Looking in that woman’s eyes, her eyes, Nadia knew what she wanted. She wanted her fucking life back. “Is there anything else I should do?”

For a moment, Regan lifted herself from the wall when Kaden walked in, yearning to approach. But now wasn’t the time for so many reasons, and she was forgetting herself. Cordelia -- Nadia’s body -- was dragged in, wrist swollen under the handcuffs in a way that made Regan think it might be broken. Would Kaden have-- later, that was something to think about later. Once Nadia was in there again. So she stayed glued to the edge of the room, eyes flitting between Nadia, Kaden, and the shotgun that looked so massive and out of place in Blanche’s small hands. There was only one more person they were waiting on now, and just as Regan thought it, their final party member swung into the room looking like a man straight out of a spaghetti western, but far scrawnier. He appeared almost as malnourished as that child Blanche and Kaden were friendly with, Rio. But despite his protein deficiencies, his mustache still glistened under the dull lightbulbs -- which Regan suspected wouldn’t be there long considering her own track record -- and he seemed energized and ready. Where on earth had Kaden found this man?

“Hello,” Regan said in response, her first words to anyone other than Nadia, “What are your credentials?” She bore into him, not stepping any closer. Was Nadia really ready to pour all of her trust and hopes into this? Regan looked over to her friend for a moment, seeing her fear and tenseness. She offered a hand, though she knew Nadia couldn’t exactly take it; maybe it would still be enough. “I’m Regan. I’m here for Nadia. I’m a-- I was a doctor. I will not let anyone die here today.” As for Mav’s question, she had no answer for him; she’d leave that to Blanche and Connor to answer. She relayed her friend’s concerns instead, in case Mav or others were unable to hear her. “Nadia is wondering if there’s anything she should do.”

Connor's eyes widened as Blanche drew the weapon. "You bloody Americans and your guns," he sighed, but they could have done worse in this situation than a rocksalt shotgun. It was powerful, yet non-lethal, at least at the right distance. "Just be careful. Get too close and you'll blow her fucking chest out even without actual bullets." Thankfully, Kaden and Cordelia's arrival saved them from further conversation about the weapon. "Oh, you're as lovely as ever, darlin'," Connor scoffed, his confidence boosted by the presence of the others in the room. Kaden seemed as gloomy and squinty-eyed as the last time Connor had seen him clearing Snicker-Snackers out of his apartment, yet this time, the weight of his bad mood was far, far heavier.

Connor stood as the final man walked into the room, raising an eyebrow as if this was some type of bloody joke. He imagined this was what John Wayne would look like as an exorcist. "Mav," he repeated, extending his hand. "Y'alright, mate? I'm Connor. I'm gonna be helping you out with this one." He was glad he wasn't the only one who wanted to know the stranger's credentials. Thankfully, Regan had saved him from asking the man directly. He could feel Nadia's nerves, her fear, and somewhere in there, her determination. Connor couldn't touch her, couldn't offer a comforting hand, but he gave her as reassuring a smile as he could manage. "Just stay strong, yeah? Stay focused. You got this."

“I know. If I didn’t know how to use it, I wouldn’t have it,” Blanche snapped quietly at Connor, her already bad temper souring even further. She refused to look at Cordelia, there was no need, considering Nadia hadn’t yet repossessed her body. She wouldn’t need to watch for the struggle for control between them -- not yet, at least. Blanche pressed her lips together into a thin line, examining the exorcist carefully. Had she died and woken up in a bad Western? Blanche was with Regan on this one, and she glanced at the Banshee quickly before turning back to Mav. What were this man’s credentials? It wasn’t like she could ask for a CV or an exorcist license… Blanche slung the shotgun over her shoulder, finally stepping forward to greet him. “Blanche. Medium. I’ll be running telekinetic interference in case it gets…” She let out a breath, remembering the telekinetic game of tug-of-war her and Constance played in the classroom. She had thrown the teacher’s desk through a window. Blanche grimaced, and she hoped they didn’t completely trash Nadia’s apartment. “Completely out of hand.” Eyes narrow, Blanche glanced at Nadia. “Whenever you’re ready to begin, Nadia. Just like we practiced.” She looked back at Mav, still distrusting of him. Finally, lowering her voice, she asked. “You can tell what she is, right? The spirit in the body?” He had to at least be able to answer that Cordelia was a poltergeist. It was the only question she could think to answer to make sure they weren’t getting scammed.

Kaden wanted to go over to Regan, give her hand a quick squeeze of reassurance before slinking off to the side, but it wouldn’t help. The only thing that would help was finishing this, giving Nadia back what was hers. He wished he could see her, give her some reassurance before all this started. “Mav’s one of the best there is. Trust me,” he said before backing away to the door. He had to be. After what Kaden sacrificed to get him here, he had to be. This wouldn’t be for nothing. “I’ll be right at the door. Let me know if you need me.” With that he headed to the door, giving the scene one last look. He really hoped he’d be useless here and it’d be over sooner rather than later. He had to trust this was the best group possible to make this happen.

Mav gave the hunter a nod. “I’ll call on you if I need you, partner.” He didn’t know much about this Langley fellow but he trusted Porter would only refer him to someone worth his time. And this case sure sounded like a doozy. “Nice to meet you, youngin,” he said, shaking Connor’s hand. “I hope you’re good and ready for this rodeo. It’s sure to be a hullabaloo. Just follow my lead and stay by me.” It seemed like Mav and Mr. Langley might be the only two in the room who couldn’t see ghosts by the sound of it. That was alright, he didn’t need to see them to exorcise them. “Telekinesis? Well I'll be damned. That’s a horse of a different color right there, boy howdy.” That was more than he bargained for from a medium. This might not be a total disaster after all. Maybe they had a shot. Though not if they all kept on questioning him. He hoped he could settle this score and keep the quarreling to the spirits. “Young lady, I’ve been dealing with ghosts and performing exorcisms since I was knee high to a grasshopper. I know a poltergeist when I feel one and you’d best believe I know how to handle one so none of y’all need to fret about any credentials, you hear?”

Mav fastened his hat on his head a little tighter and rolled up his sleeves before pulling out his grand pappy’s old iron pocket watch. It was a silly old trinket, but it was a fool proof focal point for him. “We’ll need our Ms. Diaz to repossess her body. Once she’s in there, we’ll start the exorcism. The circle here should keep little lady Cordelia trapped while we do the banishment. There’s bound to be a lot of rattling and hollering but it’s very important that once I start wagging my mouth that no one interrupts me. One missed syllable is all it’ll take for things to go belly up in a delicate situation such as this one. So if we’re ready to start wobbling jaws and get this show on the road, y’all need to be absolutely sure you’re ready.”

Just repossess the body. That was all Nadia needed to worry about doing. She looked at where Cordelia and her body waited within the circle. The moment she crossed that line, she’d be stuck in there with a homicidal maniac until everything was completed. The way that Cordelia looked at her without really seeing her would have chilled Nadia to the bones. This had to be the most twisted form of self-loathing, when her own eyes were filled with so much hate, but she wasn’t even in there. Nadia looked at Regan’s hand and, comforted, stepped forward. Cordelia straightened up, her mouth set in a hard line. Nadia crossed into the circle, and there was no going back. She stood toe to toe with her own body, her feet floating off the ground and making her an inch or so taller. Once again, Nadia felt like she was staring at her reflection in a mirror back in Phoenix, blood on her hands and a smile that wasn’t hers, had never been hers, stretching across her mouth. She was done with this. Nadia reached her hand out and grabbed her own shoulder.

It felt weird, feeling Nadia Diaz’s hand pass through her body, but the sensation meant that the repossession didn’t work, and all Nadia could do was laugh. “You can’t even be dead properly, can you?” she hissed at the translucent figure in front of her. “God, any ghost worth their shit can possess. Come on, champ, try again.” She looked out amongst the group in front of them, from the little banshee to the cowboy, sneering. Bet they felt like dumbasses, backing the wrong Nadia. She was clearly the better of the two, more in control and more capable of taking care of this body. Not that it’d matter for long, but, shit, it was as if Nadia didn’t even want it anymore. Just like when Nadia had taken over, the girl had no fight. She couldn’t have fought back if she wanted to. “Didn’t you hear me, you dumb bitch? Try aga--” Nadia gasped, and, for the first time in weeks, she wasn’t alone in her head anymore.

The first thing Nadia noticed was that she was unbalanced. She wobbled a bit, trying to remember how to plant her feet on solid ground. Her wrist hurt. Her throat hurt. Her head was killing her. She had to blink tears out of her eyes for a moment as everything came back into focus. She was trembling, but she could feel it. She could feel everything, not just herself, and the weight of it was crushing. It was relieving. But she could feel Cordelia, too, just underneath the surface, and the poltergeist was so much stronger than she was. However, Cordelia wasn’t the one that was used to being possessed, and this would always be Nadia’s body first. For a moment, and just a moment, she had total control, even if the spirit taking up residence in her body fought like a motherfucker. “Now,” she gasped out, locking eyes with anyone that she could. “Start now. You’ve got to start now.”

Regan wasn’t sure why Blanche felt the need to mention her size to Mav (she was more shrimpy than medium, though neither of those words were qualitative enough for Regan’s liking), but she was already struggling to follow everything else that was happening. Telekinesis? Horses? A pocket watch that made a shiver roll down her spine? Instead of trying to make sense of nonsense, she turned her attention to Nadia and Kaden. As much as she wanted him to stay here, she knew it was important that someone guard the door. The last thing they needed was for Cordelia to escape… or for Ms. Carmody to wander up insisting to see what was causing all the noise. Despite not agreeing with Mav’s chosen terminology, she understood that his warning about interruption was to be taken seriously, and for a moment, she considered promising that she wouldn’t interfere. But… what if she had to? What if there was no other option? What if Nadia’s death would be a result not of the “exorcism,” but of Regan’s inability to intervene? So she held her tongue as tightly as she held Nadia’s gaze. Her fingers felt nothing as she tried to graze her friend’s hand, but something in Nadia’s eyes told her that it helped a little nonetheless. Regan only wished she could do more. She wasn’t the best at inspirational speeches, but it seemed prudent to remind Nadia that she believed in her. “You were shot by a mime and wouldn’t even come to me for stitches,” Regan said, voice resolute, “you’ve been using hydrogen peroxide on your wounds despite my warnings, and you fearlessly confronted all of those dangerous individuals at 66 Brimme Stonne. There’s likely more that I don’t even know about.” That thought sank like a stone inside of her. “You can do this, Nadia. You’re tough and, to my chagrin, occasionally medically irresponsible. But most importantly tough. And I’ll be here. No matter what.” That was a promise Regan would have made if she could.

At Mav’s instruction, Nadia drifted into the center of the room, where Cordelia stood in handcuffs. Though Regan had seen both of them individually before, seeing them in one place, staring each other down, was maddening. Some part of her wanted to explain all of this away as a hallucination, but she couldn’t lie about that, not even to herself any longer. There was no imagining Cordelia’s fury out of nowhere, either -- it was very real, even directed at someone so insubstantial as Nadia. There wasn’t even a tremor under Cordelia’s voice; she thought herself invincible, truly believing that Nadia was going to die trying. More impossible things unfolded -- Nadia vanished. Regan looked down, expecting her to pop back up through the floor, but she didn’t. Her head swiveled frantically as she searched the room. Nadia was gone. But Cordelia -- something was changing across her face. And her balance. Cordelia nearly fell, and Regan was caught off guard by how Cordelia’s voice changed. Uncertain, fearful, frenzied, with a backbone of determination. Regan knew, then -- that was where Nadia had gone, somehow. She stayed back, lingering at the side of the room as she looked to Mav, pleading silently with him to save her friend.

Bloody hell, there were a lot of people here. Most of them actual adults. This wasn't like last time when it was a bunch of kids in the woods just hoping to get this right. Connor wasn't sure if he was intimidated by that, or comforted by it. "Right," he said, nodding and stepping into position next to Mav, trying not to let the man's colourful use of language blur his judgement. They wouldn't have invited him if he wasn't capable. This was Nadia's life at stake. "I've got you, mate." He touched his focal point, currently nestled inside his pocket. It would make its real appearance once they were ready. "You got this, Nadia," he said again, looking at her sincerely and giving her an encouraging nod.

Connor could feel the palpable tension in the room. He felt the poltergeist's fury, the struggle, the pain. He focused on the battling spirits, never taking his eyes off them, ready to leap in at any moment regardless of not knowing how he could help. "She's winning," he said, managing a hopeful smile. But they weren't out of the woods yet... There was still the rest of it to do. "Quick, I'll start getting everything in place, yeah?" No wobbly mouths, or waggling jaws, or whatever the cowboy had said. The ritual had to go perfectly. He drew the diagrams around the Nadias, taking the relics and items as Mav handed them to him, the two of them settling the playing field as Nadia and Cordelia fought for control over the other. "You’ve won, okay Nadia? Stay strong, we're almost there," he called to her.

The mustached exorcist watched and waited as the spirit of Nadia Diaz returned to her own body. Mav almost wished he could see it proper, but he didn’t need to see to know what was going on. The energy shifted around them, forces battling to occupy the same space, and beyond that, he wasn’t a spring chicken. He could hear the arguments back and forth. When she said the word, Mav didn’t hesitate to start chanting. He gripped his fingers tight around the chain of the pocket watch as he formed the Latin clean and precise even with his accent peaking through, narrowing in on the energy until it was clear and crisp as sweet tea on a summer’s day. In normal circumstances, he’d never need to focus his energy like this, not for a basic removal ritual. But this? This was three gallons of crazy in a two gallon bucket. The spirit that belonged to the body was weaker, it would take everything he had to pull the poltergeist away. And then a little more than that to banish it back to hell and keep Ms Diaz from heading down to the bone orchard herself. He felt the words forming a bond of energy, like the chain from his watch, latching onto the poltergeist and pulling at it, peeling it away from the body. She was tough as a pine nut. A focal point wasn’t enough. Without dropping a phrase, he nodded to Connor and reached out to him to pull from him, to strengthen the chain. It was going to need to be strong as steel, iron even, to make this work. But Maverick Mulaney was no failure, no sir.

Blanche understood Mav’s exasperation, but she wasn’t quick to drop her skepticism. Once it was all over, she could apologize -- or kill him, if she ended up being right. The somber thought made her grimace, even as Nadia succeeded in overtaking Cordelia and the removal started. The energy in the room was thick and made her skin tingle uncomfortably. Watching Mav start to pull from Connor, Blanche backed away and started inching closer to Regan. “Regan?” She said quietly, not taking her eyes off Nadia and Cordelia. This was probably the first thing she had said to Regan directly in a very long time, but it was better to warn her now then let her be surprised. She had seen the first exorcism, and Nadia’s screams of pain weren’t something she would soon forget. That said, maybe with the removal it would be, at least, a little better. “Once Cordelia is out, it’ll get better for Nadia.” She spoke softly so she wouldn’t disturb Mav or Connor’s concentration. “... Well… Maybe not better. But it probably won’t get worse,” she corrected herself. Her hands tightened on the gun, and let out a hissed wince as her body began to feel like ice. “I think he knows what he’s doing.” Blanche was struck again with a sort of sadness and pity for Cordelia, as well as the familiar guilt in her gut, but she shook it off. There would be time to lament her choices later, now she had to keep a careful eye on Nadia.  She narrowed her eyes at Nadia, taking a few steps forward as she tried to watch for Cordelia’s soul to be ripped out of Nadia’s body. “C’mon, c’mon. Let her go.” Blanche hissed under her breath. Before it killed Nadia.

Just like last time, Nadia felt a pulling sensation, like she was being ripped in half. She gritted her teeth against the pain so hard that she tasted iron in her mouth, but she stayed in control for as long as she could. This was working. They were going to win this. Granted, she felt like her insides were coming apart, as the connection with Cordelia that had literally just reformed was severed again and again and again. Cordelia raged against her skull, but Nadia held on as much as she could. If she concentrated, she could hear Mav chanting. She focused on that, on the sounds of words in a language that she didn’t understand. If she made it out of this-- When, when she made it out of this, she was going to start learning a new language. Maybe a dead language, something that could be useful in this fucking town. But she was making it out of this. Fuck, it was cold. It was so cold. Nadia felt herself trembling, and she opened her mouth to say something, but she didn’t say anything at all. She screamed.

“No!” Nadia screamed out, finally regaining control as the temperature in the room plummeted and the lights surged with her anger. No. This wasn’t happening. She wasn’t losing this. Not now. Not now. Just like in the last exorcism, she reached inward, to that part of her that was dead and had been for so long but refused to fucking stay that way. Again, the felt the shackles, fucking handcuffs of all things, fall from her wrist, but this time, she knew she wouldn’t make it out in time. She had one last Hail Mary. She didn’t even feel the pain in Nadia’s wrist as she gripped the knife hidden behind her back as tightly as she could. Lightning fast, she ran it against Nadia’s neck, leaving a thin red line. But that would be too easy, wouldn’t it? Too quick. Nadia Diaz would die suffering. She felt herself being pulled, pulled out of the body, but Nadia clung on as hard as she could, planted her heels, and dug the knife into Nadia’s stomach. It was poetic, wasn’t it? This was where she’d stabbed Kaden, where she’d stabbed the little medium. She gritted her teeth and dug in more, as much as she could. It wasn’t a big knife, sure, but she was a determined gal, and she didn’t give a fuck about Nadia’s pain. Not anymore. Then, Nadia wasn’t pulled out of Nadia’s body. She pushed herself out.

[peakysabrina]

Sanctify

I was bored, and I’m in the mood to write, and I just love Isaiah so fucking much y’all  I’m sorry it sucks  Warnings: Smut lol and terrible language 

There are days when a man can’t make it to sunset without a pint. Maybe it was the same for women, but Isaiah didn’t know, neither did he care too much about it. For him, on one of those days, nothing could matter less than anyone else’s opinions, inclinations, desires, what have you. On days when he had to do his job, when he had to follow orders to the very bitter end, nothing was more important than a pint. 

Unless, of course, a certain someone decided to come round, reducing him to a blushing pile of nerves, complete with tingles that overtook his spine, and the occasional twitch of the hand. 

“Alright, here’s your change. Tell you dad I said hi” she threw at him, non-chalantly, picking up her basket and preparing to turn around and leave. 

“Oi, is that it?” Isaiah asked, brow furrowed as he lit his cigarette. His father wouldn’t let him smoke inside the house, but he wasn’t inside the house, he was at the door. 

“You got your fish, I got my money, what else is there?” Leah asked, the heavy basket on the floor, both her hands on her hips. “You have an order to place?”

“An order to... are you serious?” he asked, breathing out some smoke into the air. “You’re going to ignore what happened yesterday? Leah...”

“Oh good lord, not again” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. “You’re throwing a tantrum because I’m not obsessed with the fact we fucked. Great. Mature of you, real mature”

“I’m not throwing a tantrum, what the fuck? I am not throwing a tantrum, how could you say that?” Isaiah protested, barely able to stand still. “I just thought we could...” 

“Do it again. Listen, love, I’ve orders to deliver, I don’t got the five minutes, eh?” Leah dismissed, picking up her basket, and turning around. She had managed to walk five steps before a fuming Isaiah picked her up, basket included, and dragged her into his home. “You’re a bloody kidnapper, let me go”

“You’ve got a knife in your dress, don’t you? You know how to defend yourself against kidnappers. Look, I’m unnarmed” he angrily responded. He would let a lot of things pass, but five minutes? As if a man of his standing could only last five minutes. “You’re a fucking liar, Leah, a filthy fucking liar. I didn’t last five minutes; in fact, I vaguely remember you screaming my name. You forget that, girl?”

“Oof, look at him, puffing his chest, flexing his muscles. Like a proper man of God, isn’t he? Fine, it’s true I can defend myself. Doesn’t mean I don’t still have orders to deliver” Leah admitted, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Isaiah liked it when she was angry, whereas Leah enjoyed to play games, to have that particular boy brought down a peg or two. “What do you want?” 

“I want to take you out” Isaiah informed, coming out with the only thing the fishmonger’s daughter was not expected to hear. 

“Take me out? On a date? Yeah, sure, wouldn’t I look bloody brilliant next to a Peaky Blinder? Listen here, Isaiah: the sex was great, but I’m not interested in being made fun of for not being as fancy as the girls your mates date. I sell fish for a living, love, and I know it’s honest work, but it’s not work that puts us in the same class” she simply said, wondering if the pastor’s boy really was so sheltered he wasn’t aware of the social dynamics in their town. 

“If someone does as much as look at you wrong, I’ll blow their kneecaps off” Isaiah growled, approaching her, looking a bit... menacing? And why was it that Leah didn’t feel like coming at him with a knife, but found herself quite... interested?

“Oh yeah?” she asked, looking up at him, trying not to lick her lips and give away her game. “I don’t believe you” 

That was more than enough: she was being petulant and annoying, and it warranted prompt and swift action. Ignoring the fact she could stab him at any given moment, Isaiah picked her up once more, and kissed her hard enough for their teeth to clash. In the same line of action, he put her down right next to the kitchen table, grabbing her neck from behind her body and kissing her jaw, making sure there wasn’t a single inch between then. 

“I’ll make sure not a single soul remembers to belittle you, or mock you, You’re my girl, you’re mine and I demand respect for you” Isaiah whispered, bringing his hand up her thigh, getting her dress out of the way.  

“I don’t belong to no one” Leah countered, despite how nice it felt that his strong hand was now fully inside her knickers. 

“Oh really? Then you’ll have a good explanation for why you’re soaked”

As it turned out, Leah did have a good explanation, but it would only feed into his ego, and she refused to do that. The way he moved didn’t really help, neither did his fingers, or his lips on the back of her neck. 

“Fine, fine, I’ll go out with you” she gasped, holding on to the table and praying to God Isaiah didn’t plan on torturing her. “Just get on with it” 

“Ask nicely” he responded, despite taking a small step back and undoing his trousers. Hopefully Leah would cooperate, and he wouldn’t have to be forced to either break character, or have to change underwear before going out again. 

“Fuck you, you really are a stupid, arrogant asshole” she hissed, slapping the table. “Fine, fine, please” 

“Good girl” Isaiah praised, already inside her before he got through the full expression. “How dare you call me arrogant, huh? How dare you, Leah Mills, how fucking dare you... Shit, you feel good” 

And of course Leah went out with Isaiah, and of course no one even dared to look at her with anything other than admiration. 

[harrysgems]

Before Dawn - Part 1

Leah was walking down the street, frustrated and, once again, mad at her brother. The little prick took the car, again. He’d known she would need it this afternoon to pick up their grandma, and he could have perfectly walked to work.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” she muttered, feeling the urge to kick something rise to unexpected levels.

Then, she felt something hit her shoulder. Her eyes opened wide as she refused to look.

Please, don’t let it be a pigeon’s… she wouldn’t even dare finish that thought. She finally gathered the courage to take a look at her jacket and, to her relief, it was just a big droplet of water. Probably from one the multiple trees that adorned this street. Only then she became aware of the tapping of the raindrops against the pavement.

“Come on!” she complained, “You gotta be fucking kidding me.”

She pulled her hood over her head and walked faster as she kept her gaze to the floor. The last thing she needed was to trip over something she couldn’t see because her glasses were full of tiny raindrops.

Oh, how she missed the coast of Italy! The weather was warmer over there, and it definitely didn’t rain this much. Why, of course, this was England; the land of humidity and non-stopping rain.

Her mind was elsewhere, roaming her memories of that adorable Italian village, reason why she didn’t see the six feet tall man walking in front of her. At least, not until she collided with his broad back.

“Ouch!” the man groaned.

“Ouch!” she echoed.

“What the hell?”

She lifted her head to get a proper look of him just as he turned around.

“Harry?” she shrieked.

He narrowed his eyes, still upset about the incident, before he actually recognized her.

“Leah?” he asked.

“What are you doing here?” the question left her lips before she could even process the words.

“I could ask the same question,” he chuckled, “Long time no see.”

“Yeah, it feels like ages since we last saw each other,” she smiled sheepishly.

“Seems life’s treating you well,” he jerked his head toward her Italian boots and bag.

“I can’t complain,” she shrugged, “One of my books got published and now I live in a lovely village in the coast of Italy,” she explained, returning the smile he’d just given her, “What about you? I saw you released a new album.”

“Yeah, I did, didn’t I?” he tried to hide how proud he was of his new project, but he just couldn’t, “Have you gotten around to listen to it yet?”

“I’m sorry,” she grimaced, “With Luca and Thor, and Christmas around the corner, I haven’t got much time to spare.”

“Oh, you’ve got a boyfriend,” Harry commented, trying to keep it causal despite feeling a stab of… what was that? Jealousy? Why would he be jealous of Luca? He should be happy for his friend. If they could even consider themselves as friends anymore.

“Oh, no, no, no!” Leah quickly denied, “I wish,” she laughed awkwardly, “Luca is my editor,” she clarified.

“Oh,” Harry mouthed, “So who’s Thor?” he frowned, remembering the name she’d just dropped a few seconds ago and now realizing there was nothing Italian about it.

“My puppy,” Leah smiled wider than she’d ever done whilst revealing that piece of information.

“You’ve got yourself a puppy?” Harry asked, genuinely surprised.

“Mm-hmm,” she confirmed, “A friend of mine found out her dog was pregnant. She couldn’t keep all the puppies, so she asked a few friends if we could keep them. I really didn’t plan to actually adopt one. You know me, I love pups but I’ve never had one at home because my mom’s not very into pets and I was afraid I’d mess up. But when he looked at me with those puppy eyes… Well, I couldn’t say no.”

“And how’s he?”

“He’s the most adorable pup ever,” she said, proudly, “Although we have to work on the biting bit, I’m running out of slippers,” she frowned before they both laughed softly at that last comment.

Harry took a second to finally observe her. She was beaming, even beneath the cold rainy English weather. Her brunet hair was tied in a loose braid, and she still had a light tan to her skin, probably from enjoying the warm sun of the Italian coast. Her face was almost make-up free, except for the light mascara she was wearing. Her cheeks were already rosy due to the cold air, just like the tip of her nose.

He noticed how shiny her lips were; he, then, remembered how obsessed she was with lip balm back in the day. Some things never change, he guessed.

Leah wondered what was going through Harry’s mind. He’d been quiet for longer than expected, but he’d always been one to speak really slowly, so she didn’t think twice about it. The beanie he wore covered most of his hair, although a few curls escaped from its grip. She’d always loved Harry’s curls, even more so when his hair was way longer than it was now.

“How old’s your pup?”

The question startled her. She’d become awestruck remembering how soft those curls felt between her fingertips.

“Four months old,” she answered, still lingering to that memory.

“He’s still such a baby,” Harry blinked twice in awe.

“Yeah, that’s why it is so hard to teach him,” she laughed softly again, “He’s so cute it’s difficult to tell him off.”

“Can I meet him?”

Leah was surprised by Harry’s question. He sure had better things to do than meeting her new baby. Even more after so long they’d spent without even sharing a word with each other.

“Yeah, sure,” she found herself answering before actually think it through.

“Did you bring him here with you?”

She nodded before she added:

“I wasn’t going to leave him alone in Italy. Or with Luca, for that matter,” she grimaced again.

“Is it that bad?” he chuckled.

“He’d have probably tried to put him in a tutu.”

“Oh, poor thing.”

“Yeah, I’m not letting Thor anywhere near Lucca. He may be Italian and have good taste in fashion, but no way is he gonna dress my dog.”

They both laughed at that and afterwards a comfortable silence fell upon the two of them.

“It was nice seeing you, Harry.”

“It was really nice to see you too, Leah.”

“Guess I’ll see you around,” she smiled at him.

“Of course, you still need to introduce me to Thor!” he smiled back at her.

And despite not seeing much due to the raindrops sliding down her glasses and the fact that she was running late to pick her grandma up, the urge to kill his brother had magically gone away. Now she only wanted to smack the back of his neck for being so irresponsible.

                                        ┅┅━━━━━━━ ۵ ━━━━━━━┅┅

Leah had been fighting the need to write down everything that crossed her mind. The memories mixed all together and threatened her to become emotionally attached to them once again, after how long it took her to get over those moments.

Hence, when she arrived back home and her grandma was finally sitting on the armchair, she sneaked into her room before anyone else saw her, with her pup right behind her.

“Hello gorgeous!” she called him.

The pup leaned his head to the side, observing her. To be fair, she couldn’t blame him if he ever thought she was crazy. She picked him up from the floor and helped him onto her bed. The pup found his way onto her lap, where he rested peacefully, snuggling his head against her tummy for attention from time to time.

“Ya really like to be pampered, don’t ya, little boy?” she whispered to him whilst scratching the fur behind his ears.

Thor merely rested his head against his paws and closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of his human giving him the attention he deserved.

“You’re the prettiest thing to ever exist,” she whispered to him again, still scratching his black fur.

After Harry Styles, the voice in her head was loud and clear. And undoubtedly not welcome. She frowned and stopped the movement of her hand, wondering why her subconscious was playing with her like that. The pup lifted his tiny head and snuggled her hand, asking for attention.

“If you weren’t so adorable you wouldn’t get away with everything you want,” she muttered.

The tiny pup yawned and she thought her heart would melt at any given moment because he was way too endearing to be real.

“We’ll have to work on that,” she pointed her index finger at Thor, but he decided it was a good idea to smell it and lick the tip of her finger, “Stop!” she laughed as the pup licked her again, “You’re tickling me,” she kept laughing.

Thor happily barked as his tail wiggled from side to side. He was happy when his human did those strange noises.

                                        ┅┅━━━━━━━ ۵ ━━━━━━━┅┅

It was already late in the night, or early in the morning, Leah couldn’t quite tell. She knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep until she poured all of her thoughts and feelings out, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to go down that memory lane.

Despite her initial reluctance, she took her laptop and sat back in her bead. Thor was sleeping beside her and the only sound that could be heard was his even breathing. She smiled broadly. God, how she loved this pup.

She took a deep breath and opened her Notepad. That overwhelming feeling took over her again; she had so much to tell, but she didn’t even know where to begin. How do you summarize years and years and express them in words? Well, she should’ve known; it was no less than her job. But there was an added difficulty when the story to tell was hers.

She began typing the first thing that came to her mind and, after a while, her fingers flew through the keyboard with a mind of their own.

Every word carried emotion, and every sentence pulled out a new memory. Before she knew, she was going down that road again.

                                        ┅┅━━━━━━━ ۵ ━━━━━━━┅┅

Harry still couldn’t believe he’d actually seen Leah today. Of course, if he’d even tried to keep in touch, he would’ve known she’d be in town. But he’d been too busy, and she hadn’t tried to reach him either. At least, that was what he’d been telling himself all this time to make himself feel better. Truth was, he regretted every single time he would’ve liked to text her and he didn’t.

They’d known each other for so long, and yet he’d let her slip through his fingers. He knew she’d always considered him her best friend, reason why he didn’t even dare to begin to think how lonely she must’ve felt these past few years.

But he wouldn’t apologize to her, because that would be admitting he was sorry… And he hadn’t done anything wrong. Things just… cooled down. Besides, it was probably too late, anyway.

He turned around in his bed for the hundredth time tonight. Who was he trying to fool? He’d played with her, so many years ago. He’d been such a dick, and there was no way she could forgive him for what he did.

Finally giving up on getting to sleep, Harry took his phone from his bedside table and scrolled through his gallery. He should probably delete some of the pictures in there; there were too many of them, but he felt so attached to those pictures because of the memories they brought back to life…

He found several pictures of teenage Leah partying with his teenage self. They sure knew how to have a good time. A sad smile pulled up on his lips when he saw the picture of that night, right before he made the biggest mistake of his life.

Leah had always told him how she wanted to become a writer, and she sure had talent. Even back then, she always had this habit of thanking him whenever he helped her, no matter whether it was a big favour or just listening to her rant about something. And she did so by writing letters. Well, they weren’t actually letters, because she sent them as a text message, but they were long and emotional enough to make him tear up.

Harry smiled as he remembered that one time they were hanging out at a party, and she was hammered and so, so upset. He was upset too for some reason he’d completely forgotten, and she gave him the most emotional, beautiful, realistic speech no one had ever given him. She obviously didn’t remember anything the following day, but he did.

He believed that was the night everything changed.

He’d always walked her home but, from that night on, he’d treasured those moments when they were alone in the early morning, right before dawn; just the two of them, no rush, walking beside one another in a comfortable silence or laughing about something that had happened at some point in the night. And even after hours of dancing, sweating and drinking, she looked beautiful.

He wondered if she’d gone down this memory lane too, after running into him this morning. Would she think of the same memories he did? Would she even want to think about the moments they’d shared at all?

Another memory hit him as he kept scrolling down the pictures of his gallery. The white dress.

That was a night to remember; at least the tiny bits they could put up together. It was summer and she was wearing that flowy white dress, way too short to bring her home to mother, but damn if she didn’t look sexy in it. They were waiting for someone and he decided to sat down on the stairs, tired of standing up and not moving at all. Two other friends did the same, and no space was left to sit down, so she just clinged to his neck and sat on his lap, a smile on her face asking if it bothered him. Harry limited his answer to wrapping his arms around her waist.

He loved how she always tangled her fingers in his hair, massaging his scalp and tugging softly at his curls. All of them were probably being too loud, laughing too much, because while he was almost falling asleep beneath the touch of her fingers on his hair, he felt drops of water wetting them. Apparently, a pissed off neighbour decided it was a good idea to water the teenagers sitting under his balcony.

She squealed and jumped off of his lap, running away from the water. He followed her shortly after and joined her away from the angry neighbour. It was only then they burst into laughter and left that place.

He didn’t know why, that night he couldn’t keep his hands off her body. Maybe he was being selfish, but he’d just broken things up with Hannah, and he longed for this kind of contact. She hadn’t complained at all, though. The only thing Leah did, was smile sheepishly every time Harry brushed her hair away from her face and brought it behind her ear.

Until they went outside the club and back to the street so their friends could smoke. The night breeze was cool for summer, and he could see her shiver. He wrapped his arms around her once more, bringing her closer to his body, trying to warm her up a little bit while their friends finished their cigarette. She hugged him by the waist and rested her head on his chest. When he asked whether she was cold, the drunk, I’m-no-longer-shy version of Leah told him her ass was cold. Fuck. What was he supposed to do? He was drunk too.

Without actually thinking it twice, his hands flew to her ass and he tried to warm it up, rubbing it. It didn’t seem such a bad idea at the moment, after all, she laughed and thanked him.

Later that night, he remembered, he offered to walk her home again, just like he did every single time they hung out together. Funny story? Both of them were so wasted they ended up walking in the opposite direction until they reached a park across town. She’d tried to warn him several times throughout their walk, but she kept saying her orientation sucked so she just trusted him, because his was better. Well, when drunk, apparently not.

They sat down on the floor, laughing at the stupid situation. They would have to unwalk what they did and then keep going until they reached her house. Leah rested her head against Harry’s shoulder, her whole body shaking from laughter, and they fell back on the floor. She was on top of him, sort of, still laughing uncontrollably. He couldn’t stop laughing either and at some point, before they’d fallen down, he’d hugged her to protect her from hitting the floor.

It was in that moment she raised her head to stare into his green eyes, her face so close to his. She’d tried her best to hold her laugh back, but she couldn’t manage to do so as she told him how hungry she was. He cracked up again, joining her laughter, because he was too, hungry. And as he helped her up, he realised, not only of food.

                                         ┅┅━━━━━━━ ۵ ━━━━━━━┅┅

Tears were already streaming down Leah’s face as she typed her last words. She hadn’t allowed herself to dive deeper into those memories because she knew that, as much as she’d love to be her teenage self again, that was not going to happen. Just like things were never going to be as they were back then.

She wiped away a tear, the memory of that night they got lost to finally sat down on a park floor across town in the early morning still vivid in her mind.

They finally found a place to eat breakfast on their way back home. He’d walked her to her front door, as he’d always done, and she desperately wanted him to come inside with her. But he just said goodbye to her, with a kiss on her forehead, as he used to do, and left.

The worst memory of them all wasn’t that at all; the one that she couldn’t let go of, no matter how much it hurt every time she went back there.

They were supposed to meet with a friend who was leaving to live abroad. Same old: go to the pub, have a beer, laugh a bit, go back home. Leah had been ready for a long time now, because Alice, their friend, was always running late.

He’d texted Harry, and he’d told her he was with his mom and some other family members at a pub near his place. Next thing she knew, Anne texted her to join them. She’d always been a lovely woman and, despite Harry was still annoyed that they texted each other, he couldn’t hide it amused him.

They didn’t stay long at the pub, though. Alice called she was heading toward their meeting place, so they headed out too; one of Harry’s younger family members coming along with them. She had to admit it was a fun night.

As expected, Harry walked everyone home and, since him and Leah were the ones that lived closer from each other, they did the whole tour until it was only the two of them, as it had always been.

They barely chatted on their way home; they were both exhausted and cold. Leah’s mind, though, worked at a hundredth miles per hour. She’d been feeling this… pull, toward him, for longer than she’d like to admit and she knew she would regret it if she didn’t do something about it.

Harry was quiet too. He was lost in his own thoughts, and lots of them included Leah, but she didn’t know that in that moment; and she never would.

She tried to bring a topic out, whatever, but she needed to talk to him about something or she would go mad. She was beginning to overthink everything and she knew that never ended well for her.

When they reached her house, instead of leaving straight away, they chatted for a few more minutes. It was cold, but neither seem to bother. Before leaving, as he always did, Harry wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her in for a hug. She rested her head against his chest and sighed. They were completely alone in the street, and she knew she could trust him like she could trust no other. Yet, she was scared and confused and didn’t really know what to do with the bundle of emotions that lived inside her for months now.

It was only then that Leah realised she was still being held by Harry. This time, he’d lingered for longer than he used to, as if he refused to let go. She moved slightly away, their arms still around each other’s, and looked up at him, at those green eyes that trapped her every single time, and felt that pull again. Every bone in her body asked her to kiss him. But she wasn’t brave enough.

She didn’t have to, though. To her surprise, Harry lowered his lips to hers. The kiss took her completely by surprise, reason why she blinked twice before closing her eyes and kissing him back.

When he said goodbye that night, he did it with a kiss on her lips, instead of her forehead.

                                                    ┅┅━━━━━━━ ۵ ━━━━━━━┅┅

Harry had been tossing and turning for hours. He wanted to text her, but at the same time he was afraid to do so. She’d been so much braver than he’d ever be. Not just because of everything she’d been through, but because she really had the courage to do the things that matter.

He looked through their texts, looking for the one he knew by heart, but refused to delete because it was proof that she ever loved him.

He knew Leah had always had a way with words but even now he could tell how nervous and scared she was when she sent him that text message.

“I still don’t know if I’ll be brave enough to hit the send button once I finish typing this, but here it goes anyway. I don’t know the reason why you kissed me today, and I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I can’t hide this from you anymore, Harry,” he whispered in the darkness of his room, “I really, really like you. I think I’m falling for you and it scares me to death. Above all because you know I consider you my best friend, and I don’t want to lose you. I’m scared that telling you this might affect our friendship if you don’t feel the same way, but you know I trust you like no other and… who was I supposed to tell if it weren’t you? You know that if it wasn’t you the one I like, Harry, I would’ve told you straight away.”

He paused, taking a deep breath before resuming the message.

“I’m so confused, and I’ve been so confused for a while now. You’re one of the most important people I’ve had in my life. You were there for me when you didn’t even know what was going on, because you knew something was wrong so you decided to offer your shoulder to cry on and ask no questions. I still remember that smile you gave me when you told me ‘when you’re ready’. You’ve really been a constant in my life for the past few years, my pillar, along with Alice. You two are the only people who know the shit that’s been going down in my life these past few months. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you, I’ve already told you a billion times. Just, this time, it means a little bit more than all the others; but I don’t want things to change between us whatever your answer is. I can’t afford to lose you.”

Harry just needed to scroll down a little bit more to see his answer, to reread again, the way he’d rejected her. He damn sure was stupid. And he damn sure didn’t deserve her. He tried his best, he tried to have a lot of tact when he said he couldn’t feel the same way. And it was true, or so he thought in that moment. He’d offered her the space she might have needed, because he knew what it was like to fall for someone who couldn’t feel the same way about you; but he also promised her their relationship would not change. And yet, with time, it did.

[darksunrising]

Sola Gratia (14/?)

Masterlist

Rating / Warnings : No particular warning.

Fandom : Bram Stoker’s Dracula, BBC’s Dracula, various Dracula and vampire lore.

Part 14/? (2638 words)

Author’s notes : I’m back, babey ! Anyway, here is the Second Act Opening (yeah, changed the Act stuff, i am unreliable at best.)

~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

The ride to Vlad's estate was eerily silent. Nestled on the backseat, hugging my knees to my chest, I tried to find some comfort in the pale light of the moon, bathing the countryside in a silver haze. I felt like I was wrapped in cotton, sounds coming off muffled to my ears, filled with the low humming of the car. Vlad and Carmilla were whispering to each other, and beside me, Leah seemed completely lost in thought. She had a lot to process, after all. Maybe I should have told her sooner...

To the valleys succeeded an endless plain, covered in fields and woods, and the occasional farm. Not that far over the horizon, I could barely make out the dark, shimmering line of the sea. It grew as we left the main road, following a smaller one, that soon converted to a paved path, barely large enough to let the car pass. We crossed a large iron gate, opening a mossy stone wall. The inside was wild, the wind sweeping across tall grass, overrun by wild flowers and poppies. Tall umbrella pines cast a moving shadow under the full moon. At the end of the path stood a large house, practically a mansion. The walls were white, large limestone blocks neatly laid out at the corners, while the most part were rough stones, held together with a thick layer of white mortar. A large portion of the wall was overrun with ivy.

The car stopped. I unfolded myself and tried to get out once before I remembered to take off my seatbelt, then trying to adjust my bodice to accommodate the now half open corset. Gods, my kingdom for a change of clothes. A quick look beyond the house confirmed that It was built over a cliff, the sound of the waves crashing down below soothing me like a lullaby. Leah's arm curling around mine quickly set me back into the present situation, and I took hold of her hand, hoping to be reassuring. We followed Vlad through the main door, which he closed behind us.

A good number of cardboard and wooden boxes piled up in the hall, unopened. Vlad apologized for the mess, arguing he didn't expect company so soon after moving. Still, everything except for the main hall was pristine, the furniture very well assorted, much more than in his Romanian residence. I figured he must have picked everything himself, as it all seemed in good accord with his usual sense of style. In the living room, I went to the windows, which opened on a large terrace, directly giving out onto the sea. Vlad's voice, softly calling out to me, had me turn back, and sit with them around the coffee table.

Leah was nervously fidgeting with one of the ribbons of her dress. Where should we even start ? I was obviously not the only one wondering about that, as the silence had now been so long it was far over the limits of awkwardness.

“So, who's gonna tell me what the fuck is going on ?”, Leah finally blurted out.

“It's... a long story”, I started, hesitant.

“Long as in 'it started during my mystery trip to Romania I was suspiciously evasive about'—long ?”, she retorted in an accusatory tone.

“Yeah. At least that.”

She leaned back into her seat, staring at me. She didn't even look mad, she just looked disappointed, which was worse. Since we met, I never hid anything from her. I could say safely that she knew more about me that I did, and I never had felt the need to not tell her something. These last months, not talking to her had been a torture. She had been my absolute best friend for years, I hated lying to her. I hated it.

And so I told her. About everything. From the beginning. Vlad had a few protests during my recalling of the Romania Events, and Carmilla looked pretty entertained by it. I could swear I heard her laugh when I told how I stabbed Vlad in the end. Leah listened intently, not once looking away from me. When I stopped, she seemed to take a moment, and looked around the room. Calmly, without a word, she stood up, and took a step toward Vlad's seat. She extended a hand, and swiftly reached for his sword, that he had set aside before sitting. Unsheathing it in an ample, yet controlled movement, she brought the tip under Vlad's throat so fast even he didn't have time to react. Surprise probably helped on that endeavor, still she had him tilt his head up, flat of the blade pushing under his chin.

Her expression was terrible, calm, controlled, yet I had never seen her eyes so dark, her lips pinched so tight. Vlad didn't move.

“You... Have hurt the one I love most, beyond all that I could imagine”, she stated, her voice trembling with anger. “You have made her suffer, and now, you tell me she could be in even greater danger because of your fucking dad or some bullshit ?!”

Her hand was steady, yet I could feel like the only reason she didn't ram the blade through his throat was because she knew it wouldn't do much of anything. I stepped closer to her, and wrapped my hand around hers. She held the grip so tight her knuckles were bone-white. I had her lower the sword, which she immediately dropped, and turned to look at me, eyes watering up.

“I-I'm so sorry, Eris, if I had known... I would never... Fuck, he could've... He could've...”

She held my hands enclosed in hers, and lost her words into incoherent sobbing for a second. Bringing my hands to her face, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and took a moment to calm herself down. Still holding my hand, she turned her attention back to Vlad.

“I was too quick to give you my trust. That won't happen twice”, she told him, glaring. “You put us into this mess, and you'd better handle it.”

“I intend to !”

“I'm not finished”, she snapped. “If anything, I mean anything happens to Eris, I will hold you personally responsible, and I'll have your dismembered limbs impaled in my backyard.”

Carmilla giggled, to which Leah snapped and promised her the same fate.

“Now, you're gonna drive us home, and I don't wanna see either of your faces again, at least not until you handled the problem.”

“You can't be serious, you'll be safer here-”, Vlad started.

“Safer ? With you ?” She had a dry laugh. “Well, isn't that the funniest thing you've ever said.”

“At least, stay the night”, he insisted, looking over to me for backup. “I will drive you back as soon as you'd like in the morning.”

She was about to protest, and I caught her arm, interrupting her. “Leah, it's late, we're both tired. Let's just go to sleep, right ?”

She took a second, and gave in, nodding. She insisted we slept together, even though the house had a good number of guest rooms, which was, in retrospect, pretty funny for someone who didn't need sleep. He guided us to the room he had prepared for me, initially. It had to be about half my apartment's size, and included a tower at the corner. Huge bay windows gave onto a balcony giving out a magnificent view over the sea.

Vlad cleared his throat. “You will find a change of clothes in the wardrobe.” Leah gave him another killer look, arms crossed over her chest. He took his leave, but not before placing a light hand on my back.

If you can slip away, I would like to talk to you.

Ah, the most terrifying thing to hear. Despite that, the way his voice filled my mind was warm, and comforting. I silently nodded, and he took his leave, his fingers trailing along my back, almost as if he resented to break contact. As soon as the door closed, Leah had a long sigh, and dropped on the bed.

“I can't believe you kept this to yourself so long”, she told me. She sounded almost hurt. “I mean, why didn't you tell me anything ?”

I joined her on the opposite side, my head laying next to her. “I didn't know how to. I felt you'd be safer if you didn't know.”

“But you weren't !”, she protested. “You could have been hurt, again, all because I had no idea what kind of monster-”

“He's not a monster”, I cut her off, almost without thinking about it.

She took a pause, turning her face towards mine, an expression of disbelief painted over her features, eyebrows furrowed in a way that didn't suit her kind face.

“Eris, please don't tell me you believe that !”

“I do. I'll give you that the conditions of our meeting were, well, less than ideal, but ever since he came here, he did nothing but try to make amends.” She groaned. “Come on”, I insisted. “You've seen it, he's been nothing but kind, and thoughtful, and actually a great help for my thesis.”

“He also eats people, Eris”, she remarked.

“He told me he didn't kill anyone since he got here, and I believe him.”

“Because he actually is trustworthy, or just because you want to believe him?”

By all means, she wasn't wrong. I mean none of her worries were anything I hadn't thought of myself. I sat up, and started un-lacing my bodice.

“You don't know him like I do”, I told her, softly, knowing this wouldn't do anything to convince her. “Let's just go to sleep, for now, I'm exhausted.”

She reluctantly agreed, and we disrobed, significantly faster than we dressed up. I though my corset would be ruined, but only the lacing on the back was cleanly cut, without even a dent in the ivory silk. In the wardrobe, I was almost surprised to find modern clothing. For the most part, he had my sense of style pretty well figured-out. Not finding any underwear was disappointing, as I had followed Leah's advice on not wearing a bra underneath the corset, but also a bit reassuring, to be honest. Leah opted for a simple plaid shirt, that would have been a bit large on me, and therefore fell almost to her knees. I found an oversize black pajama ensemble, made of the softest wooly cotton. I joined Leah under the covers, and didn't have to wait long until she dozed off, her breathing becoming more regular, and calm.

I carefully removed myself from the bed, and slipped into a large dressing gown. I slowly opened the door, trying not to make the floorboards or the hinges creak. I only opened it enough to shuffle through, and exited into the corridor.

The silence was only disturbed by the muffled sound of the waves, and my own breathing. I didn't turn on any lights, as the full moon was well enough to see perfectly well. I wandered back to the living room, and walked to the bay windows. One was open, leaving a cool breeze inside. Wrapping myself tighter in my robe, I stepped outside, wincing at the feeling of cold stone under my feet. Over at the corner of the terrace, Vlad was leaning onto the balustrade, his hair disheveled by the soft wind. He also had a change of clothes, and had only kept his trousers, his shirt, and his cape, thrown over his shoulders. I suspected this was mostly a question of style, as I doubted he could even feel the cold. His gaze seemed lost over the horizon, watching the moon go down on the ocean. As I approached him, he turned his attention to me, smiling.

“I knew you were good at sneaking around.”

“Please, I bet you could hear me breathing from the other side of the house.”

“Breathing, not so much, but I can hear your heart.” He was leaning on his elbow, head cocked to the side. Arrogant. I sighed, and took in the mesmerizing view a moment. No signs of cars, lamps, or electric poles in sight. Only the moon, and the ocean's soothing voices.

“Do you like the house ?”, he asked, softly as not to disturb my reverie.

“I love it.”

He laughed at the speed of my reply. “Well, I hoped you would.” He took a pause. “I am sorry about Leah, however. I know you did not want her dragged into all of this, and because of my blindness, she has-”

Before he could finish, I set the tips of my fingers on his mouth, effectively closing it.

“If anything, it's my fault. I should have told her a while ago, I just never had the courage to do it...”

He took my hand in his, strangely warm, contrary to what I expected. I felt my heart sink into my chest as a question rose to my  mind.

“Vlad, I...”, I started, hesitant. He nodded slightly, encouraging me to continue. “What Carmilla said, back on the overlook...”

I became physically incapable of saying one more word, my heart beating out of my chest for no reason. No reason at all.

“You want to know if she was right ?”

Gods, that voice, that deep, silky voice. Maybe it was on purpose that he talked in a hushed tones, maybe to drive me mad, or not outshine the ocean singing below. I nodded, unable to look him in the eyes. He called out my name, barely a whisper. He let go of my hand, only to pull me closer, an arm around my waist, his other hand cupping my cheek. So warm... He took a moment, playing with a strand of my hair, sliding a finger along my jawline, and slowly running his hand along my neck. I couldn't help a gasp as a sharp nail traced over my veins. He hummed, seemingly amused with my reaction.

“Are you still scared of me ?”, he asked.

I couldn't tell if he really spoke, or if I heard him in my mind.

“No”, I breathed out.

Really ?

His lips brushed past mine, then on my jawline, and my neck. In a very poor instinct, I let my head fall back. The somewhat familiar feeling of his sharp teeth on my skin sent shivers down my spine. I closed my eyes.

“I trust you”, I whispered, leaning back onto the balustrade.

He opened his mouth, letting me feel his hot breath on my cold neck. For a second, his fangs pressed against my skin, soon replaced by a kiss, on the crook of my jaw, right below the ear. I giggled, and he closed his arms around my waist. Expectantly, he seemed to wait, for permission. For mercy.

I wasn't too long to grant it. Wrapping my hands around his neck, I closed the final space between us. As soon as my lips touched his, my heart stopped a moment, or several. I felt him sigh a second, and pull me closer. He was slow, intimate, perfect in every way. I felt electricity run through my body. His lips parted mine, and-

Everything was red.

The sea lapping at my ankles, the sky bursting with gold and blood under a starry indigo. Everything was the same as I last left. I turned around, and found him standing back.

“Here ?”

“I told you before, wherever you want to be.”

I ran to him, and threw my hands around his neck, and he wrapped his around me, lifting me off the ground.

“Makes sense it's with you, then”, I whispered, and kissed him again.

~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

Taglist : @carydorse @angelicdestieldemon @bloodhon3yx @thewondernanazombie @battocar @moony691 @mjlock @thebeautyofdisorder @festering-queen @paracosmfantasy @lost-girl-inc

[queerchoicesblog]

Marlinspikes (ILB, Danni x F!MC)

This is my last February prompts fanfic and...I warn you that it’s pretty ANGSTY/SAD (to say the least xD). Just so you know, the inspiration for this one came from Castle of Glass by Linkin Park (quoted below).

Requested by @darley1101, this fanfic takes place two months after the Pine Springs flood. Danni notices that Harper (F!MC) is still hurting badly for the events and the secrets they uncovered and encourages her to open up with her. Warning: this is pro-Josephine even if, as you’ll see yourselves, it’s a tough call for Harper. Also, special thanks to @brightpinkpeppercorn: our ILB conversations were essential for this fic...and I give you full credit for the “sin sentence”!

Prompt: “Let me love you”

Word Count: 1994

Perma tag: @brightpinkpeppercorn @psychopathdreamer21 @abunchofbadchoices @bbaba-yagaa @silverhawkenzie @begging-for-kamilah @melodyofgraves @bhavf 

Tags: @esteladannishreyakamilah 

Warning: occurrences of bad words

________________________

Bring me home in a blinding dream

Through the secrets that I have seen

Wash the sorrow from off my skin

And show me how to be whole again

Harper had been unusually quiet since she was discharged from the hospital after the flood. Sure, she had every reason to be shaken but it'd been almost two months now and she didn't seem to make any progress. She hanged out with the group, celebrated Parker's promotion to Chief of Police, went on dates but every now and then you could still see her gaze sadden and wander into the distance. She was there but at the same time, she was far away. Danni noticed and decided to investigate. So here she was, knocking on Harper's grandpa house with a box of food in her hands. She was concerned: Harper, well they all went through a bunch of traumatic experiences lately but Harper was Josephine's granddaughter and the whole thing really took a toll on her. Understandably, of course. Danni wasn't under no false illusion to see her finally happy but she would have loved to see her a little less haunted than she was -Danni could tell - beneath her tough, jokester appearance. And, on top of that, it was no mystery that she would have come back to Hartfeld in a couple of weeks. The mere thought of it made the girl frown. She didn't have to wait long, When Harper opened the door, the young woman couldn't help but notice the dark circles around her eyes badly hidden with concealer. Danni put on the brightest smile she could manage and raised the box. "Special taquitos delivery for Miss Vance" she beamed.

Harper's tense jaws relaxed visibly. "Well well aren't you the most adorable girl on earth?" the Vance girl said, pulling her in a quick hug and brushing her lips against hers. "Thank you so much, Danni. Please come in and make yourself at home: mi casa es tu casa, that's how you say, right?" Danni walked in and made her way to the kitchen. Harper followed her and lazily leaned on the threshold. "Will you stay for dinner? Elliott is out with Grandpa, they went to pay a visit Tom and I think they won't be back soon...so we have the place for ourselves" The last line was supposed to be flirty but the smile on Harper's smile didn't reach the eyes. Danni put down the box on the table and asked: "Depends, do you want me to stay?" Harper wrapped her arms around herself. "I...I could use some company. Especially your company" Danni's heart tightened seeing the infamous Harper Vance who won't turn down a tumble so vulnerable. She felt that if she had hugged her a bit too tightly at that very moment, she would have crumbled to pieces between her arms. "Then I'll stay. Let me heat them a little, they're tastier that way. Why don't you dress the table in the meantime?" The other girl nodded and mechanically gathered a tablecloth, plates, forks and knives. Then she opened the fridge. "Hey it's your lucky day, beers are on the house" she announced picking up two bottles. "Sounds like I won the lottery" Danni winked, heating the pan. Then, as her girl handed her one the bottles she opened, she spoke again: "It's none of my business but why didn't you go with Elliott and your abuelo? I mean Tom's is a friend of yours too" Harper took a gulp of her drink. "Yeah but Grandpa wants to ask him to repair his boat and frankly, I'm sick and tired of boat talks and of water in general." "Preach to that" Danni toasted. "And...I just needed some alone time. You...you are welcome to stay though, obviously" "Alone time you said...something's troubling you, isn’t it? I mean, more than usual. You have a lot to process..." "No, I just...I just wanted to relax at home" "You sure?" "Yep! Are your legendary taquitos ready? They smell delicious!" When the food was ready, the sat down and Danni filled Harper in on the latest events in town, her new photojournalist work at ClickIt, how she got to have a Skype chat with Leah Myers...anything to keep the other girl’s mind busy. However, she was taking a sip of her beer when it happened again. Harper's slowly diverted her eyes and looked out of the window. Her gaze wandered off into the horizon and she went quiet. She had barely touched any food. "I messed up this time? I mean, my taquitos" Danni asked tentatively, hoping to bring her back. Harper shivered and her blue eyes fell on her again. She looked like someone who woke up from troubled dreams. "Sorry, I spaced out" she said, smiling grimly to herself. "Hey Harper, are you sure you're okay?" "Yes, I'm...I guess I'm less hungry than I thought" "Forget my tacos, talk to me" Danni pronounced it as if it was a prayer. "You know, at least I hope you know that you can come to me for anything. I know that something is troubling you, I can tell even if you're trying to hide it. Talk to me, let me help you" Harper looked her in the eyes for a while as if pondering her words. Then she hung her head in defeat. "I don't know what to do, Danni. And I...I wish my mom was here cause she always knew the right thing to do, unlike me" Her voice cracked and she grabbed her head, covering her face to Danni. The photojournalist immediately dashed towards her and squatted down beside her, gently stroking the girl's back. "Harper, it's okay, I'm here" "Nothing is okay Danni! Nothing" Harper muffled against her own hands. "Hey, move those hands aside, look at me" A sob escaped Harper as she started shivering again underneath Danni's palm. The former barista pulled her a bit closer, always stroking her back reassuringly, and gently removed Harper's hands from her wet cheeks with her free hand. "You have every right to be upset after all that happened, let it all out, I'm not going anywhere"  she said softly, cupping one of her cheeks. "I thought I was strong, Danni but this, this is so much to process, too much" "You're one of the strongest people I've ever met, sweetheart! You always kept your cool and brought us together even when you were scared too: that's strength in my book" Danni gave her a sympathetic smile "You miss your parents, yes?" Harper's eyes welled with new tears. "Yes and the scene, blood everywhere, their bodies laying on the ground...I still replay the scene in my head sometimes, it's brutal" "I'm telling you what to do: next time it happens, you pick up your phone and call me, deal?" Danni squeezed her shoulder affectionately. "I...I have no one to talk about that" Harper admitted "Elliott has nightmares too and I don't want to upset him even more. When we found them it was hard enough" "What about Grandpa?" A flash of anger gleamed in her eyes. "Grandpa got them both killed! I would never talk about that with him: he would give me pathetic puppy dog eyes when he was the one who sold them! He told those fucking pricks and now mom and dad are gone. They literally laid on the ground in their own blood...because of him!" "Okay okay, sorry Harper!" Danni tried to calm her down before speaking again. "You hold a grudge to your abuelo, don't you?" Harper shattered her jaw and nodded, as warm tears streamed down her face. "I can hardly look at him...I try to play along for Scooter's sake but the truth is I think I hate him or something like that. I don't think I will ever forgive him for what he did to my mom, my dad and Josephine" "But Josephine almost killed us all, almost killed even you..." Harper looked fiercely into Danni's eyes. "She was betrayed by the man she loved and who made a vow to protect her and their daughter, Danni! He knew who those assholes of the Society were and yet he told them everything and didn't even try to save Josephine. She did no harm to anyone, she knew the dangers of the Power and carefully avoided them but then Grandpa handed her to those bastards. They threatened him to hurt their daughter instead, mom, because obviously he told them about her too and he helped them torturing grandma. She told me the whole story, Danni...it was awful: he handed Astrid the marlinspike that bitch stabbed into my grandmother's heart. They tortured her and forced to turn into the monster we all saw. But she was right..." "Innocent people died, you could have died...while your grandpa was maybe weak but-" "Weren't Josephine, mom and dad innocent too? But they died because of him! He is a coward and that was his sin" Harper cried "He ruined everything, Danni..we could have been a happy family, we could have been happy and safe if they were all here" Danni sat on Harper's lap and wrapped her in the tightest hug, gently cradling her girl as she cried herself out on her shoulder. After a few minutes, the Vance girl spoke again, her voice rough and tired. "It's so hard to pretend but I want Elliott to heal and be happy. I just...I will never forgive Grandpa and I'm on alert every time they are together, like if there are still cultists out there and they find them will Grandpa protect him or hand him to those pricks only because they yell louder? Elliott is all I have left...”

Danni stroke her cheek, wiping away a tear with her thumb.

“Can I speak now, Harper?” 

The other girl nodded.

“Harper, you don’t have to go through that alone. This pain you feel now-”

“This pain is all I have left of them. Of my family” Harper grimaced “But you’re right Danni...Grandma Josephine killed so many innocents blinded by her wrath. I can’t change that. The people here will always remember her because of that: she will always be the Lake Monster to them, to anyone...maybe I should leave this place after all”

“Stop it, Harper! If...if you leave this godforsaken town” - the mere thought of it made Danni frown- “you will do it because you want to: on your terms, not like a fugitive or something like that! You can’t feel guilty for all those deaths, you have nothing to do with them. You may be Josephine’s granddaughter but you’re not her. She would be proud of the woman you are now, for what it’s worth"

Harper winced, diverting her eyes.

“I know that...I rationally know that, Danni...I just” her voice cracked “I just feel like that marlinspike they pushed into her chest, the one I used to let her go...I just feel it burning in my chest too all the time as if I have no air left to breathe-”

“Then let me help you remove that marlinspike. I cannot assure it won’t hurt, but I will be at your side every step of the way. I will hold your hand and wipe away your tears. I will steal an oxygen mask from the hospital if need be! But please, Harper...let me love you, let me help you heal. We can do this together” 

Danni pronounced the last words, resting her forehead over Harper’s. Seeing the girl she fell for so broken inside was killing her. They both kept quiet for a few minutes, cherishing the moment.

“Will...will you show me how to be whole again, Danni?” Harper asked tentatively as she parted to show the weak smile on her face to the other girl.

“Of course, I will show you how to be whole again, H.” Danni confirmed before placing a tender kiss on Harper’s lips.

Then she added, gesturing at the girl’s plate:

“I believe you can get started taking a bite of those tacos. We will write a full list of survival tips later, okay?” 

[tessxomarie]

Saving You - Part I

*Hi everyone! First, I need to shoutout @hellosupernaturaldoctor​  for giving me advice and the confidence to even attempt this. This is my very first time writing any fan-fiction and the first time I’ve decided to post any of my writing some place other than a word doc. I’ve had this idea for this story since mid-season of the Mayans, and after the finale I put all my thoughts into a story. It starts off slow, but I promise what I have in store next will be worth it! PS, Any feedback is appreciated! - This story takes place a few months after the season one finale. Ez is now a newly patched in member, Alvarez is still working for Galindo; things have been quiet as of late, well for the most part.*

It’s a Friday afternoon, I’m just getting off of work. It’s hot as fuck outside – guess that’s the price you pay when you live in the desert. I lazily gather my purse from the backroom, before I step foot outside, I redo my hair. What was once a cute pony tail this morning has turned into a mangled mess. As my luck would have it, my hair tie snaps as soon as I go to wrap it around a third time. “Fuck.” I mumble to myself. I always wear an extra hair tie on my wrist, but I cannot have a naked wrist. “Fine, a mangled mane I will have. It’s fine, it’s fine.” I whisper to myself. If I don’t leave here now, I will lose all sanity I have left. Man, what a shit show day today has been, this heat must be getting to the kids. Two broken wrists, a broken arm, a no helmet incident and a random summer cold. I didn’t get puked or shit on, and no kid attempted to kick or hit, so I call today’s shit show a success. Just as I’m about to leave, one of my co-workers stops me, “Leah, good work today. You kept that broken arm kid really calm. Keep it up.” Elena tells me with a smile. “Thanks, Elena. I’m just doing my job, but I always welcome feedback, so thanks again.” I say to her as I head out the back door. It’s 4:30pm, I’ve been on the clock since 6am, one would think I deserve to simply go home and use my complex’s pool – oh one can dream. But nope, I’m still on the clock but I guess you could call this gig more of an always “on-call” service.

I pull up in my old school blacked out Jeep Grand Cherokee about twenty minutes after I leave the clinic to the Romeo Brothers Scrapyard, also known as the headquarters for the Mayans MC.  

Chucky greets me, per usual. “Greetings Nurse Aleeah.” He says to me with a big smile and a salute. I let out a giggle as I always do whenever someone says my full name…I rarely ever go by it, but around here, I hear it more than I have in years. But Chucky, oh Chucky– how does one describe a chronic masturbator who has a good heart and is part of the biker world without truly being a biker? I guess I just did, didn’t I? “Hey Chucky, how are you?” I ask as I park and exit my Jeep. “I am well, swell actually. I have no complaints today.” Chucky answers with a big smile. “Good, I’m glad to hear that.” I say as I give his arm a friendly squeeze. “The boys need your assistance, I don’t know details but clearly someone got messed up hence why you are here.” Chucky explains in typical Chucky fashion.I roll my eyes as I stand in front of the clubhouse. “It’s always something with these boys, huh?” I rhetorically ask. Chucky nods his head and heads back to the office. I walk up the steps and take a deep breath before I enter the clubhouse. This club is like a box of chocolates, you never know what the fuck you’re going to get so it’s best you just grin and bear it. Is it just a cut from a broken beer bottle? Did a fight break out and there is blood everywhere? A bullet wound? A stabbing wound? A rat bite? Like I said, you just never know. I open the doors and pray today is nothing major. “Have no fear, your favorite RN is here.” I announce as I enter the clubhouse and strike a pose in the doorway.  “Umm, isn’t it RN BSN?” Riz corrects as he stands and greets me. “Have I told you that you’re my favorite?” I reply with a playful wink and smile, it does make me truly happy that these guys acknowledge and are proud of my accomplishments. “Hola Aleeah.” Riz says to me while we greet with a warm hug, per usual. “Hey, I spy my favorite nurse!” Gilly shouts from across the room. Creeper, Hank and Taza also wave from the card table. “Greetings gentlemen, you all seem to be in one piece.” I say as I mosey around the few tables between me and the guys. “Although that pleases me, who is the one who called up 1-800-Rescue Nurse?” I sarcastically spit, which receives some laughs from the guys. “They’re in church.” Hank points towards the door. “They? Plural?” I ask looking at Riz, and he nods to confirm. “Jesus Christ.” I say palming my face. “Lee Baby!” Coco shouts from exiting church and walking over to me with open arms. “Ah, Coco Loco.” I reply with a smile and we hug. “How are you doing, Coco?” I ask after we break our embrace. “A lot better than your next two victims.” He replies, him not making much eye contact and that just gives it away – I know automatically who my victims are. “You gotta be kidding me? They got into it again?!” All Coco does is nod and look down at the floor. “How bad?” I ask. “What do you mean? How bad do they look? Or how bad is it between them?” Coco asks me. I shake my head with disgrace. I angrily take my steps towards church and I aggressively open the door. “Damn, she is pissed.” I hear Creeper’s echo as I close the door, as soon I enter the room. Looking at the table, I see them. One is at one end, the other one on the opposite end. I drop my nurse’s bag on the table and cross my arms. “You two have some damn nerve - getting into it again. Jesus. You’re fucking brothers, you are blood – blood don’t do this shit.” I yell with anger and confusion. Silence fills the air as the guys look at each other and up at me. Bishop then looks over to me and quirks an eyebrow and half smile. “Excuse my poor manners, Bish. Your boys tend to make me lose all sanity I have left at the end of a work week.” I tell him as I walk over and give him a warm embrace. “Oh Leah, you’re fine. I know this shit has been out of control recently.” Bishop pauses and looks over to the guys. He takes a deep breath. “I’ll let you handle them now. I’ll be outside if you need a referee.” Bishop exits and I just stand there, crossed arms again. Both boys refuse to look me in the eye, but instead stare each other down. “Are you just going to stand there?” Angel seethes. I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Give me one good reason as to why I should fix the both of you up? Huh? Because as I see it, this is the fourth time this month…THIS MONTH!  Angel, please, humor me and explain to me why the fuck I should tend to your wounds yet again? Maybe if I let you both be, you’ll learn these fights aren’t worth it.” I take a deep breath myself, and I run my hand through my tangled hair, which I then end up putting up in a pony tail right after, I’ll just have to remember to find another hair tie to wear on my wrist later.   “Alright, I’m sorry I went off. You two, you two just frustrate me.” I say holding my hands up mimicking a surrender. I take another breath and look between the boys. My gaze is drawn to EZ, probably because he’s the easier one out of the two. “Okay, EZ, I see that nasty cut on your cheek, oh and your hand – good going big brother.” I say as I look over to Angel. He looks away the moment I look his way. “Shocker, EZ gets to be first yet again.” Angel chirps. “Seriously?” I snap. “I’m over here fucking bleeding, I could be dying but all you and anyone ever cares about is Ezekiel.”   “Shut it Angel, just shut it, please.” I beg. I start to tend to EZ’s war wounds; some cuts, a nasty one on his cheek – I’m guessing Angel’s rings got the best of him this time around. EZ, he doesn’t say much this time I’m here. I know that he feels the same way as me – he’s tired of this back and forth shit with his brother. “EZ, no more. It’s one thing when you all call me to take a bullet out, or to give a rabies shot, but this shit – playground fights, I’m done.” I explain as I place the last bandage strip to his cheek. EZ doesn’t make eye contact, and his jaw is clenched. His knees shaking. “I know, Lee. I’m sorry you’re doing this again.” EZ tells me as he finally meets my eyes for the first time. EZ, he’s easy to read. He wears his emotions in his eyes, his eyes right now are filled with pain and sadness. This whole feud with Angel, it’s taken a toll on everyone in this club. It’s been almost eight months of this fuckery. “Remove the bandage Sunday night, it needs about 48 hours to heal. If you feel the need to remove it beforehand, clean it thoroughly. Have some of your favorite tequila tonight, and you will be good.” I tell EZ as I throw away the things I used to care for him. “Thanks, Lee.” He says as he kisses me on the cheek and walks somberly out of church. My heart aches for EZ, because the pain – physical and emotional is all over his face and body. Angel hasn’t taken his eyes off of the wall nor has he spoken. I slide my bag down the table as I slowly make my way towards him. Rubber gloves are on, and I grab his face. “Let’s see your damage.” I say, like a dog would when a human goes to check their mouth for something, Angel gives me a little tension as I touch his face. Again, no eye contact. A look of annoyance screams from his expression. I see a nasty cut on the side of his head, by his eye – a sensitive area which bleeds more than most. A black eye is also forming. “Jesus Christ, Angel.” I say examining the cut a little further. “This has to stop. I’m begging. I cannot deal with looking at you two like this, because my fear is that one day, I’m going to be too late to help any of you.” “What if it is?” He spews. I scoff, “No more.” Is all I manage to say. I take out an alcohol swab to clean out his cut. “This is going to sting, on the count of three – one, two, three.” I say as I then put the swab against the cut. A loud hiss comes from Angel and an instant reaction of mine is to grab his face and blow lightly at the cut, helping the sting not be so painful. Angel’s eyes then lock with mine, a look of shock and confusion fill his brown eyes. Angel and I, we’ve had a very interesting relationship since I first came to Santo Padre. He gave me an attitude and I gave it right back – he seemed more pissed off when I talked back than just walking away, and the more I talked back, the more tension built up between us. We started out on the wrong foot, and that’s how we have remained. He lets me care for him, depending on the time of day. Sometimes he lets his girlfriend, well I think she’s his girlfriend, Adelita, clean him up. Today, for whatever reason, he stuck around the clubhouse. I continue to blow on his wound, and I wince back in pain for him because I know it had to sting like a bitch. “Uhh, sorry. It’s a habit of mine, when I treat the kids, I have to do this; they hate it too, so that technique helps them...” I ramble and look away because I sense a bit of embarrassment, as I’ve never been “nice” to Angel. I look and reach back at the table to grab what I need next, just as I turn to face Angel again, I notice a very small smile on his face. “What?” I question, because seeing him smile legit concerns me. “It’s nothing, Leah.” He says monotone and lets me continue working on him. A few more minutes go by, and I determine that he doesn’t need any stitches, just a little butterfly work on one of his eyebrows. “Okay, that’s all. No stitches today, that cut on the side of your face, it’s a sensitive area that bleeds more than most. Your eyebrow cut, it’s an awkward cut – it’s ugly but not ugly enough for stitches. My only request is when you clean it out, could you please use both water and soap?” I emphasize. I know how these guys operate. They either use a dirty rag or tap water to clean themselves up. I turn to clean up my stuff and Angel lets out a minor laugh, which catches me off guard. I look at him and quirk an inquisitive look. Angel stands up, he turns behind his chair and lightly pounds his fist to the back of it. “You sounded just like my ma.” He tells me, in the softest voice I have ever heard Angel speak in. I offer him a small smile as I already know what that history is. Angel leaves church, and per usual no other words are spoken, no thank you’s, nothing. I stay behind a few more moments and collect my thoughts and belongings. I hear the door open, at first I’m startled but relieved it’s just Bishop. “How we doin’, sweetheart?” He asks. I let out a very deep sigh and my facial expression tells my feelings of this whole ordeal. Bishop can’t help but laugh, “I know, Lee. I know.” He tells me as he pulls me in for a hug. “I just need to go home and lay in bed and watch a trashy romcom.” I exclaim as I grab my bag. “I think you’ve deserved that, but before you go – you have a visitor.” He tells me. A look of a deer in the head-lights flashes across my face, who the hell could be visiting me? “Just come with me.” Bishop motions for me to take his hand and follow him. Nerves take over, with the Club, you never know what can happen. As I exit the room, I see the guys scattered all over the clubhouse yet all eyes are on me. “Your visitor is the biggest pain in my ass, so make it quick.” Bishop says, but I catch his playfulness I his voice and I look to the bar and I see who Bishop is talking about – Marcus Alvarez.

[musette-thornsong]

OJ: God’s Right Here

Aura Zurie had found out years ago during her childhood that she was not all cell but only half. If being treated like crap by the entire city of Frank wasn’t bad enough, the virus, Thrax, whom she once called friend betrayed and stabbed her in the back (in more ways than one). After losing so much and being used by those she trusted, she had become officially devoid of all emotion and decided never to trust or let anyone inside ever again. The return of Thrax may change that when they are paired off to hunt down the resurrected mob boss, Scabies, who has kidnapped Ozzy and Drix and will only release them if they hand over a recently acquired rare artifact. But soon everyone (including Thrax) will realize the huge mistake they have made when messing with the wrong girl.

One-Shot Parody

Warning: Violence, gore, language, psychological humor

Words: 6,216

Aura, Meth, & Opius girls belongs to me

Staphylococcus Aureus borrowed from a real bacterium.

It was a dark time in the City of Frank. The Chief of Frank Police had just recently assigned a case to Osmosis Jones, Drix, and (recently hired) Thrax. The case followed the inconspicuous murder of Leah Estrogen from only a day ago. Apparently, she was killed in her sleep with no visible signs of a struggle and then her corpse was hung upside down from Ozzy’s apartment door with a message from (horrifyingly enough) the late mob boss Scabies. This gave an indication that somehow, he was still alive (even though Thrax had turned him into a pile of goop). The team had split up to find clues and came across one at the memory banks archive in ancient text about a gem that revives the dead. Ozzy and Drix went to go find it only to suddenly get kidnapped by unknown assailants. Thrax was then left a note by Scabies that if he wanted his teammates alive, he would find the item in question and bring it to them. Knowing he had little to no intel on ancient artifacts or spells and apparently had no other options, he sought out some help from his fellow coworkers. They suggested he talk to Aura Zurie since she was one of the few citizens who dabbled in that department given her “recently discovered” heritage. Thrax found this to not only a big help but also a chance to get close to her. Although she grieved for the loss of her foster mother, Leah, certain circumstances would have Thrax find that Aura would be less than willing to help him.

Thrax: (eagerly catches up to Aura as she walked down the street) Hey, baby, wait up!!

Aura: (continues walking on, stubbornly) I have nothing to say to you.

Thrax: (tries to play it cool in attempts to charm her) Aw come on, baby. I thought it would a nice opportunity to reconnect… (whispers in her ear) especially given our “special” history together.

Aura: (stops dead in her tracks before turning around facing him, angrily stating) First of all, as far as I’m concerned, we have no history. Secondly, I know why you came breezing down my path and I’m not pulling the pin on that grenade. I made the mistake of trusting you once all those years ago. And in return, it destroyed what was left of the innocence that was my life. I’ll be damned if I get involved with you and make the same mistake again (turns her back to him and proceeds to continue walking on)

Thrax: (feels guilty, knowing she was right but decides to play on her insecurities as a last resort, sighing) Well, I guess I can’t fault you there. I don’t blame you for not wanting to help. But even if you don’t, just know…it’s not your fault.

Aura: (halts with wide eyes upon hearing those words, flashes back to her mother on her deathbed when she was a child uttering those same words)

-FLASHBACK-

*Lisa: (sick in bed, barely stable) I’m afraid I don’t have the strength to go on any further. I’m sorry, Aura. I’m going to leave you all alone.

*Aura: (tearfully holds her mother’s hand) Please don’t go, Mommy

*Lisa: (weakly smiles while cupping little Aura’s cheek, wiping her tears away) Don’t cry, sweetie. I know it’s hard, but you must be strong and endure. I just wish your father could have been here with us (coughs) but know that he did love you very much. I love you, Aura. If things were different back then, we could have become a happy family. Even though my life was turned upside down, I don’t regret having you for a daughter. Just know, this is not your fault (utters before her hand falls from Aura, dying peacefully)

*Aura: (tears fall as she screams agony)

-END OF FLASHBACK-

Aura: (hears the words “Your fault” torment her mind over and over until her mental barrier suddenly breaks down from the inflicted guilt, shouting painfully while barely keeping her composure) WHAT’S WRONG, THRAX!?

Thrax: (surprised he got through to her and gave her the details [unfortunately more details than necessary for dick-move torment]) Well, I suppose it all started when I was born, my mother…

Aura: (facepalms her eyes before pulling the metaphorical pin off the grenade in her mind, groaning) Uuuuuuuuuugh….

Knowing this would take long, they stopped a nearby pub where Thrax continued the conversation for several hours until finally getting the main point for why he sought her out in the first place. He explained how Jones and Drix had disappeared and somehow Scabies was alive demanding for the artifact they were previously looking for in order to bring Leah back. Aura’s brain was about ready to implode from all the mental torture.

Thrax: (continues) …and then that old fart of a germ left this note stating where he was and that he had Jones and the cold pill. And unless the gem is given to the old codger, they can kiss their asses goodbye. And, well…you know the rest, baby.

Aura: (bangs her head on the table repeatedly from the long conversation until Thrax finishes, vents her frustration) GOD, DO I EVER!!! I CAN NEVER UN-KNOW!!! These nuclei receivers could have been used to formulate the perfect strategy in solving this case! Instead, they’ve memorized the different types and amounts of beatings you used to receive since you were four!!!

Thrax: (makes a callous reference) Yeah, much like you, my mother was one emotionally unstable bitch

Aura: (retorts sarcastically) Yeah, I know. And it’s because of that shit to this day, you are still a continuously blunt, all-around, never-ending ASSHOLE!!! (calms down after getting it all out of her system, sighs) Look, if I tell what you need to know about your stupid rock, will you leave me alone?

Thrax: (corrects her) Gem.

Aura: (annoyed) Honey, no language on Earth has a word for how little I care. A quantum super-computer calculating for a thousand years could not even approach the numbers FUCKS I do not give. The friggin’ heat death of the universe could not-

Thrax: Baby, are you going to tell me or not?

Aura: Eh, sure. Whatever. Allegedly, the once lush garden of Frank that was closed off (due to the strange death tolls) was turned into a restricted grave site called “The Valley of Remembrance”. At its center is a jeweled staff known as the Archangel’s Beacon which can pin-point the exact location of the Revival Gem.

Thrax: (mildly happy to hear this news) Seriously, then let’s go get it right now!

Aura: (halts him) Upbupbup, cool your jets, Hot-Shot. There’s more to it than that. For one thing, the gem can easily work on viruses at any time of death, within 15 years for germs and bacteria, but won’t work for cells 3 days after death. And seeing as how a day and a half has gone by already, not to mention you just spent the last 7 HOURS making me consider the pros and cons of a lobotomy via soup spoon, I’d say you got your work cut out for ya.

Thrax: (shocked by this news, eager to get going with only one day left) Oh boy! Well, let’s get going. We’ve got no time to lose (cups his hands around hers)

Aura: (brow twitches before giving her answer) Yeah, about that…

Aura was suddenly outside the pub walking through the crowd of cells out at night, minding their own business. Thrax trudged alongside her confused by the answer she gave him.

Thrax: (hysterically states his predicament) What do you mean you’re not going?! This is completely different from my life on the run trying set a record and getting into the medical books. I don’t know the unknown territories of this body like you do nor what dangers to expect from any of this. I could die on my own!

Aura: I believe I made myself clear about my number of FUCKS and willingness to give them.

Scabies: (pops out of nowhere looking worse for wear in many ways) Ebola Boy? Oh my god, how are you? I believe the last time we met was….oh yeah! When you sliced me up and painted the steam room floor with my carcass

Thrax: (expresses rather irritably, but restrains himself not wanting lose it and kill the only suspect they had in this case, grunting) Fiiine…

Scabies: (mockingly) And where’s the old crew? Haven’t seen them for quite some time

Thrax: They’re dead. Much like how you’ll be again if you don’t beat it.

Scabies: (feigns caring nature) Aww, ain’t that a pity? You at least make some good trophies out of em’?

Thrax: (disgusted) AW HELL NO!! I may be one sick sadistic motherfucker but I ain’t that sick, old man!

Scabies: Ah, such a waste…

Aura: (callously adds on) He’s right you know. Keeping specific remains of your enemies can make for some pretty-sick trophies.

Thrax: (annoyed) Okay, seriously, Aura!? That’s not funny. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a gem to find, two idiots to save, and a dead broad to revive.

Scabies: (looks to Aura scanning over with familiarity) Oh, Aura is it? You his new girl? Well, ain’t you a saucer of cream! It’s so nice to see that even the legendary Ebola-knockoff found someone on his level.

Thrax: (growls at the remark and how he was looking at Aura)

Aura: (laughs casually before eyes widen, clearly insulted) Ehehehe…What?

Scabies: Oh no, it’s cute. I just love the whole “tough-girl” persona ya got goin’ on here. Very convincing. Well, don’t wanna take up any more your time. Sure you sweet kids got a lot to do. I’m sure you’ll have no problem clearing “The Valley of Remembrance”.

Thrax: (attempts to speak for Aura) Actually, Aura just made it clear that she’s not-

Aura: (slightly deranged) Come on, Thrax. We got two idiots and a broad to save (starts walking past Scabies)

Thrax: (walks beside her rather delighted) So, you’re actually gonna help now? Well alright! Operation: Damage Control is a go (places his arm around her)

Aura: (firmly) Don’t touch me

Thrax: Still not there yet?

Aura: Not even close.

Scabies: (smiles wryly)

Thrax and Aura had stopped at a nearby inn for the night in order to get an early start on their mission for the Revival Gem. However, some would come to find it difficult to sleep that night. By morning, they had left the inn and made their way to the Valley of Remembrance where Thrax burned off seal to the gate to save time. Aura lead the way through the silent yet beautiful gardens and enchanted glades. It was all lovely but had an eeriness to it considering there was not one living thing around thus hinting to the term “silent as the grave”.

Aura: (calmly yet alert) Keep your eyes and ears open for anything. There’s no telling what might be lurking around.

Thrax: (smugly) Please. There ain’t nothin’ Big Daddy Thrax can’t handle.

Aura: (rolls her eyes, grunts) Uuugh

Thrax walked on casually next to Aura. He figured this would be a good opportunity to try to get close to her. But given the atmosphere, he wasn’t entirely sure how to break the ice nor certain if she even wanted to talk. Aura was unsure of a couple things too but figured she’d ask just to be sure.

Aura: (chuckles awkwardly) Hey, uh, random question. Uh, you didn’t hear anything…weird last night…Did you?

Thrax: (ponders back to last night) Uuuuuh….

 -FLASHBACK-

*Aura: (cries loudly through the wall) Momma Lisa!!! (cries more) Oh god, why couldn’t I save you?! Why?! Momma! MOMMA!!! (cries even more)

*Thrax: (hears her sorrowful wails in confusion unable to sleep)

-END OF FLASHBACK-

 Thrax: (slightly goes bright crimson, goes into immediate denial not wanting to say the wrong thing) Uh, no. Definitly not. I’m like a super heavy sleeper, so… (walks on)

Aura: (laughs nervously) Good, good (clears throat) Yeah, sleep is…sleep is good (continues walking)

Thrax: (comes to her, curiously) Sooooooo…Who’s Momma Lisa?

Aura: (snaps) I KNEW IT!!!

At the same time of her outburst, random vines sudden bursts out from bushes and quickly wrapped around Thrax’s ankles, lifting him straight off the ground. The vines revealed to belong to a giant Audrey II-like plant monster that became attracted to closest heat source. It opened its trap preparing to devour Thrax.

Aura: (slightly giggles at Thrax’s awkward predicament)

Thrax: (screams at the sudden lift coming face-to-face with the monster, embarrassment sets in as this was happening in front of Aura of all people) AAAAAAAAAAHH!!! Baby don’t stare at me like this!!

Aura: (yells in response) First off, I’m not your baby so quit calling me that! Secondly, I think you have more pressing concerns!!

Thrax: (slashes around frantically) Well, WHAT DO I DO?!

Aura: Just stay calm. You already have everything you need to beat it.

Thrax: (responds sarcastically) Oh, and what’s that? The power to believe in myself?

Aura: (irritated that Thrax was deliberately trying pluck a nerve) Noooooo, your claw, smartass!! Stab it!!

Thrax: Oh…right (slices off the vines from his ankles before diving at the plant beast, burying his claw straight through and causing it to explode before landing safely on the ground)

Aura: (sighs, locking arms Thrax against her better judgement) Yeah, maybe you should stick closer to me. Those things are attracted to heat and will not think twice about snuffing it out. And seeing as how you’re walking blazing inferno, you’re aggroing everything in this place.

Thrax: (blushes a bit then puts back on the “tough guy” façade before pulling away from her with a smirk) First off, if it’s one thing I know how to turn up and down, baby, it’s heat. Secondly, there’s need no need to worry your pretty, little head. Big Daddy Thrax can take care of himself (walks ahead before suddenly stepping on a random vine which woke up several more plant monsters, screaming) AAAAAAAAAAHH!!! BAAABYYYYYYY!!!!!

Aura: (raises a brow, unimpressed before sighing) This is gonna be my whole day, isn’t it?

After saving Thrax’s hide many a time from becoming every plant’s main course, they had finally reached the center of the valley. There atop an ancient pedestal stood the bejeweled Archangel’s Beacon staff in all its shiny, dusty, cobweb-covered glory.

Thrax: (grabs the staff) Hey, look. There it is!

Aura: Alright, now all we need is the dust!

Thrax: (excited before suddenly catching on to her sudden remark) Yeah- wait, what do you mean?

Aura: Well, I mean, we’re going need the Spark Powder to activate the staff. And we can only purchase said powder from the only drug dealer in this part of Frank who deals in the mystical department (for a certain price). Then once activated, the staff will guide us to the stronghold containing the gem where we’ll navigate ourselves through a series of traps within the catacombs (where most people would never think to look first), leading us to said gem and hopefully the quickest path to the throne/ritual room.

Thrax: (felt like his head was about to explode from the news) That’s INSANE! Just how paranoid were these people?! And since when did this magic stuff get so complicated?!

Aura: You don’t know much about Viral Ancient History or Magic, do you?

They continued their mission in hunting down the only drug dealer, Methadoneus Papaver, who contained the mystical Spark Powder. Once found at a nearby Opium Den, they could see the place was full of ill-repute as there were several Opius female germs publicly seducing several male cells on either ends of the establishment. When they all caught sight of Thrax, they brushed pass the others to gather around him since they never had a virus visit before (let alone a tall, strong, and handsome one). Though Thrax was flattered, he was more concerned with the mission at hand. Seeing as how it would take longer pushing through to get to Meth, Aura decided to take the high road and push Thrax into the crowd of horny germs who wasted no time in smothering him. Thrax was completely helpless in this situation. While he was known for being quite the “Ladies Man” & “Lady Killer”, he never had to deal with so many girls at once.

Aura: Hey look, girls! A present! (pushes Thrax into the Sea of Opius girls)

Thrax: Whoa!! (sees predicament he was suddenly in as the girls wasted no time going down on him, screaming out) NOOOOOO!!! They’re soooo hornyyyyyy!!!!

Aura: (caddy) But I thought there wasn’t anything Big Daddy Thrax couldn’t handle.

Thrax: (glares at her menacingly) Oh, you are SO gonna pay for that later!!

Aura: (chuckles sarcastically) Relax, this won’t take long. If anything, I’ll probably be down by the time you finish (heads upstairs the main den)

Once she found Meth, she got straight to the point about the Spark Powder. He attempted to hustle from her a ridiculous price as that was one of his rarest products that tended to go out quick. He even caused greater insult by trying to get Aura to “entice” the deal further. Meth asked her how much she thought the powder was worth believing she couldn’t do much to threaten him since she was a cop or the fact that she was just a dumb pheromone capable of only screwing her way to the top. But that was a mistake he would soon come to regret. The room suddenly went dark as Aura wasted no time in suddenly grabbing him by the throat, brandishing her claws near his chest, bearing fangs, and her crimson red eyes flashing gold as a warning. Getting the picture, Meth gave her a 75% discount on the powder in exchange for not killing him. When the lights came back on in the room, Aura warned him not to push his luck from now on before heading back down only to find that all the girls completely whored out and Thrax looking an absolute mess, barely keeping his composure and covered in kissy marks.

Aura: (looks over in shock and disbelief) DAAAMN!!! When I said I’d be down by the time you were finished, I was kidding!! But…DAMN!! (sees all the girls with blissful satisfied looks on their faces) Who would have thought you had that kind of stamina. Remind me never to question your libido again.

Thrax: (pants in moderate exhaustion) I never thought…in a million years…that I’d have to screw my way…out of a jam…like that. You got what we need?

Aura: (holds up the bag with the powder) Right here.

Thrax: Good (weakly grabs her by the collar, pulling her close to him) So don’t you EVER…do that…AGAIN!!

Aura: (pushes him off before dusting the staff with the powder) Oh, chill. I thought you would appreciate a group of women going ga-ga over you. (snarky) At least they’re the only ones dumb and horny enough to anyway. Now let’s get going, nearly half the day is gone and we’re running out of time.

Thrax: (grunts, thinking in frustration) *Why do I bother with this girl*

The staff glowed and blinked leading them to the gem’s location. When they were nearing the end of their journey, they came to the stronghold known as Mrsa Castle where they found a secret door leading to the catacombs. Just far up ahead was the Revival Gem on a pedestal. They made their way up to the end when suddenly trap after trap went off as they narrowly escape each one (especially Thrax as he was already worn out the orgy earlier). By the time they had barely made it out of the traps alive, they grabbed the gem and luckily found an elevator that lead them straight to the center of the throne room.

Aura: Man, I thought we were done after that 7th trap with the spiked wrecking balls, but then BAM!! There’s number #8 with the projectile acid worms!

Thrax: (less than enthusiastic) I just…I just want to go home.

Aura: (stops Thrax in his tracks) Wait. Hold on, Thrax. Do mine eyes deceive me?! Tis the fable Blob Throne of Staphylococcus Aureus! A being of microscopic knowledge and devourer of souls! Quickly, good sir! We must spirit away before- Oh my god! Will you just come out already?!

Scabies: (comes out from behind the throne and sat down in all his zombified glory) Well, for a pheromone you’ve got some rather keen instincts for you to have known I was here.

Aura: (casually) Scabies?! Oh my god, how are yo- Oh god, wow, that’s enough of that. (disgusted) Jesus, how do you put up that act all day?

Scabies: Ah, so you saw through me, did ya? You’re quite the clever pisha to haves figured I was once leader of the Sweat Gang

Aura: (laughs) The Sweat Gang? Wow, I thought you might be someone more dangerous, like Thrax over here or even Ebola! Never even heard of you.

Thrax: (looks to her, mildly blushing at the partial compliment)

Scabies: (confidently) Laugh all you like. We’re still one of the most feared gangs in the restricted zones of Frank.

Aura: (snarky) Ooh, impressive. You can frighten cells that think Pollen Pods are terrifying.

Thrax: (points out) Actually, some cells do find them rather terrifying considering Frank’s allergic to them. I mean, when you think about it, have you seen their eyes? They have no souls.

Scabies: Ah, so quick with the snark. Of course, that’s really all ya’ have goin’ on, isn’t it? A witty retort to distract everyone from what you really are. A sad, lonely little girl with no one who loves her. Someone so dead inside, she’d use a lethal virus as bait just to lure me out

Thrax: (defensively) Ok, seriously? My girl may have done some terrible things lately, but I know for a fact that she would never do something that horrible!

Aura: (bluntly) Nah, he’s right. I totally did that.

Thrax: (shocked) What?! How could you do that?!

Aura: Not so much fun when the shoe is on the other foot, is it? Keep in mind that you used and deceived me to meet your ends, remember? I just simply gave you a small taste of your own medicine.

Thrax: (dumbfounded by this newfound sinister change to her personality, though remained silent knowing she was right and should have seen this coming)

Aura: Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Scabies: And to top it all off, you play the “tough girl”. This invincible force you could never hope to be out there in the real world. Getting promoted to the FPD as a top-rated cop was probably the only best thing to ever happen to you. But there’s one thing your position will never let you hide. The one thing that’s haunted you your whole life, that you can never escape…

Aura: (narrows her eyes in annoyance)

Scabies: (smiles smugly) You are the bastard child of former cop-turned-all-around-whore. And trust me, I should know. She was one of my top earners

Aura: (laughs) What?! No, I’m not bastard child of a-…my mother wasn’t a-… (slips into psychotic laughter, finally snapping from the repressed memories of her dear mother) That’s crazy. That’s CRAZY!! HAHAHAHA!!!

Thrax: (looks at her worriedly) Uuuuh, baby, you feelin’ a’ight?

Scabies: Well, looks like my work here is done. I do so enjoy our chats, but I really have a ritual to get going. We’ll be taking the Revival Gem now, if you don’t mind.

Aura: (deranged) Really? Little old you is going to take from us? That’d be a neat TRICK!!

Scabies: Indeed. But a magician is nothing without his lovely assistants (snaps his fingers, giving a signal)

Suddenly, the old crew of the Sweat Gang suddenly came out of their hiding places looking as bad as Scabies. Like Scabies, they were all zombies out for revenge and ready to strike up some mayhem the second they were back to normal. The largest of the crew soon dragged two familiar faces tied up securely

Ozzy: (expresses joyfully upon seeing them) THRAX!! BABY GIRL!!! Boy, aren’t you two a sight for soar eyes!! It’s the funniest thing really. We found out the gem was here as well and came to retrieve it. And we would have called but (chuckles) these guys nabbed us out the blue and we’ve been trapped here ever since. (put on his usual facade) But of course not before Germinator Daddy opened a can of WHUP-ASS in honor of your moth-

Drix: (interrupts) Uh, Ozzy? I’d hate to interrupt such a “tearful” reunion, but do you think it could wait until after we’re rescued?

Thrax: How the hell are these clowns alive anyway?

Drix: (explains) It would appear when you killed Scabies and what was left him disappeared into the pipes, somehow the pipes were connected to the ones here at Mrsa Castle. The power of gem manifested once it sensed a dead soul, bringing Scabies back from the dead…um, partially. He then used a spell stolen from the archives to bring back the rest of them to seek out revenge. He used all of us to get to the gem so he could fully return all of them and himself to their original states before his 15 years comes to an end tonight!! (points out one last thing) Oh, and right now we’re probably about to die. Did I miss anything?

Ozzy: Uuuuhh, nope. That’s seems about right

All Germs: (start to move in on Thrax & Aura for the kill, snickering sinisterly)

Thrax: (worried, steps in front of Aura defensively) Oh crap, there’s too many of them, baby. I may be tired but that’s never stopped me before. I’ll back you up.

Aura: (places her hand on his shoulder, calmly but still in deranged state) Aww, that’s adorable.

Thrax: (raises a brow, confused) What is?

Aura: You think they’re a threat because we’re out numbered and they’re twice as strong due to them being undead. Well, you just sit tight. Show’s about to start. Careful, though. The first 3 rows are a ♫splash zone♫ (walks ahead of Thrax)

Thrax: (goes wide-eyed, worried) Baby, what do you mean by that?

Aura: (laughs psychotically)

Aura had officially snapped. As if things weren’t bad enough when she was reminded of her guilt. Or when she unknowingly aided Thrax in his plans to take down Frank when she was a child. Or when others saw her as a monster or a dumb pheromone whose only purpose in life is to screw or to kill just because she was born half-cell and half-virus. She could deal with all the taunts and slanders. But the moment someone insults her mother, the one organism in all of Frank that brought her into this world and held dear to her heart, that’s the moment when all she can see is red and loses her mind completely. All of that became clear when the entire throne room suddenly got darker and started to freak everyone out, especially Thrax. He had never seen her like this or any cell or virus with this kind of aura. He actually found it to be more terrifying than he was. It was at that moment Thrax realized all that she had to endure from the time of her birth, through her mother’s death, and living as an orphan on the street for years treated poorly by everyone in Frank. But the worst of it was when he walked into her life and used her in his scheme even though she trusted him, believing she had finally found a friend. His betrayal became the official turning point for what she was now. And the germs who were set to kill, started to get nervous and began to think otherwise about the whole situation.

Joe Cramp: (concerned) Um, boss? A-A thought occurs. This cop thought she was going up against someone as dangerous as Ebola, yet she brought herself and our…former boss. We sure we wanna mess with this chick?

Scabies: (callously confident) Please! The girl is all talk! And now that I’ve broken her, she’s not even THAT, anymore! She’s nothing but a gibbering mess, grasping at straws!

Aura: (still emanating the dark presence) Ooh, another one of your famous theories! Tell ya what. I’ll give you the first shot (eye twitches) See how that goes!

Joe Cramp: (thinks momentarily before concluding) Boss, I think this might be a trap.

Scabies: (abruptly) Enough! You’re all undead with twice your normal strength and there’s SEVEN of you! I think you’ve got this!

Aura: (smiles wryly, baring her fangs and eyes glowing yellow like a cat)

Scabies: Now, kill her!!

In a flash, they all came bearing down on her with no restraint. Each one either slashed at her with claws, beat her with a club, bit at her, stabbed her with knives, etc. And the whole time, she stood there not screaming in pain or giving in an inch. This made the others worry and wonder why she was refusing to do anything.

Drix: (shocked at the damage being done) Oh no, I knew it! Scabies must’ve really gotten into her head! She’s not even fighting back.

Ozzy: (worried for his adoptive daughter urges Thrax to help) Thrax, don’t just stand there! Help her!!

Thrax: (snaps out of it, adjusting himself while getting ready to jump in, thinking) *Oh, baby. Now I understand completely. It’s my fault this all happened to you. And right now, you need me more than ever* Well, I guess it’s up to me to save her or else-

Aura: (smiles as one of her wounds suddenly healed instantly along with the rest of her injuries)

Thrax: (stops in his tracks, stunned at the sight) Wait what?

All Germs: (pants, completely exhausted and shocked that she didn’t scream or go down after all they did to her)

Aura: Man, you guys are out of shape! Really oughta do some cardio.

Scabies: (frustrated) What are you Sissy Marys’ doing?! Quit screwing around and finish her!

Bruiser: (pants) I don’t understand, Boss! We threw everything we had at her! How is she still standing?!

Aura: How? Well, it’s quite simple, really. You see, ASSHOLE, you may think you’ve got all figured out. True, I was born a pheromone cell but that’s only half of it. There’s just one thing you didn’t account for.

Scabies: (getting angry)

Aura: As it turns out, the 2nd half of my makeup…is Chiroptera DNA!

Ozzy: (confused) Chiro-what now?

Drix: (explains) If I may, Chiroptera is the scientific classification order of bats more particularly the common vampire bat. They have many known diseases with one being the only rarest exception among them. And that rare disease is known as the legendary Draculine virus.

All: (gasps)

Ozzy: (curious) And you know this how?

Drix: (admitted truthfully) I studied her during that time she was in the hospital fighting Thrax’s venom. I managed to dig up some research on the subject as well as her background. I felt it was necessary for future medical reasons should you need it.

Aura: (sarcastically explains, chuckling) It’s funny how life works really. A respected female cop doing her job has an unexpected run-in with a virus that later puts her in a position she has absolutely no control over. Said events soon results into a half-breed child who eventually loses everything. But after years of loneliness and hell, you hoped you finally found someone whom you could trust that you felt connected to. And that goes out the window when he stabs you in the back in more ways than one and leaves you drifting in the void between this world and the next. Suddenly, the part of you that you didn’t know existed ends up being the thing that saves you from a near-death experience. Get to that point in your life where that side brings out more in you emotionally and physically, turning you a lethal force to be reckon with, and you’re basically untouchable. My wounds heal faster than you can make them. We could do this all day and you dumbasses would not be any closer to killing me. (laughs) Not that it wouldn’t be fun. But I’ve got good news! You see, there’s no need to wonder where your God is. Cause she’s right here… (whispers menacingly) and she’s fresh out of mercy.

All Germs: (whimpers and cries in terror)

Scabies: (scared, finally fed up) W-Well, way to prove my point, bitch! Lording your origins over them like some kind of god! Your strength is nothing but an illusion to cover-

Aura: (blazes swiftly like a gust of wind)

And what happened next shocked everyone. When everyone looked up, Aura was no longer where she was. They turned see that she was where Scabies was, who looked pale with fear as blood came out the corner of his mouth. It was at the moment they all could see something big and slimy pulsating. Aura had drove her claws deep into Scabies, creating a huge hole in his chest and ripped his barely beating heart through his back. Never had anyone there seen someone do anything so ruthless without hesitation or mercy. Scabies was shocked by this revelation as well as he weakly turned to meet her deadly gaze.

Ozzy & Drix: (shocked and horrified at the scene)

All Germs: (jaws dropped in shocked)

Thrax: (shocked and amazed, yet horrified)

Scabies: (whimpers, choking on his blood) Uuuugh….

Aura: (whispers before crushing his heart with her bare claws) I’m gettin’ real tired of your first-year-psych-student bullshit.

Scabies: (weakly) Enjoy this…while you can. It’s the deepest…a man will never be…in…you (goes up in blue flames disappearing from existence)

All Germs: (go up blue flames as well at the death of their master)

Thrax: (stares in confusion of everything that just transpired)

Aura: Yeah, well, you’re dead, soooooooooooo…. (frustrated, unable give a retort) DAMMIT!!!

An hour had passed since the incident. Aura sat on the throne staring off into space with a soulless gaze. Ozzy and Drix were still in shock that she had that kind of force in her and were worried for the well being of her current mental state. Thrax was even more worried for Aura as he was still processing the fact that this was all his fault for turning her into this, feeling untold guilt that she had become as ruthless and virulent as he was. It was all completely opposite of the sweet soul she used to be. Unable to bear the silence anymore, one of them had to speak up.

Thrax: (came up and sat beside her, concerned) Soooooo…how are you doing, baby?

Aura: (glumly) Fine. Why?

Drix: (points out) Well, you did just kill someone.

Ozzy: Which in turn killed a bunch more.

Thrax: As someone who’s killed more than his fair share of organisms, I usually feel a great sense of satisfaction from it. Which makes me kinda wonder, doesn’t that make you feel…something?

Aura: (nonchalantly) Oh, feelings? Yeah, thanks to you, I no longer have those. Went cold turkey

Ozzy: (shocked) What?! Baby girl, you can’t just do that! What’s the point in living if you can’t feel happiness, wonder, love…?

Aura: (lights up a little) Or the sweet taste of revenge! You’re right, Ozzy! What’s the point in living if I can’t enjoy such simple things?

Thrax: (sighs before lightly smiling) Close enough.

Aura: (feels a slightly new sense of being) You guys are good friends. We should go on more missions like this.

Drix: Um, I don’t think so

Ozzy: Don’t take this the wrong way, sweetie. We’re grateful for your help, but you’re-…

Thrax: Like the worst person we’ve ever had to work with.

Aura: (silent for a moment before responding) Is that your big plan? Huh? Make me feel feelings so you can cut me down a peg? That cuts deep, guys. But I respect that.

Ozzy: Yeah, that’s kinda the problem. But I suppose it’ll all be worth it to have Leah back.

Aura: That’s the spirit. Let’s get started.

They set up the ritual circle where Drix took Leah’s corpse out of his compartment (to keep her body from decaying) and laid her in the center. Using her blood, Aura brought the Revival Gem to Leah’s body. As the drop of blood glowed from the gem’s power, it fell onto the body making it glow brightly. It got brighter and brighter until suddenly…

Gem Voice: *Lifeline time limit has expired*

Leah: (goes up in blue flames, disappearing)

Ozzy: (stares in shock at what just happened)

Aura: I’m…sorry for your loss

Ozzy: (bloodcurdlingly screams) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

The aftermath of that incident was no better. After everything they went through, it was all a waste. And now Ozzy was running around the streets of Frank going on rampage, having officially lost the love of his life.

Thrax, Aura, & Drix: (suffers Ozzy’s wrath with some rather critical injuries, shocked)

Thrax: He took that well.

[athenaeumsfic]

Headlights, On Me [2/4]

part two (part one)

AO3

Jacques,

I think I know who you are.

Love,

Blue.

-

Blue -

How is that even possible?

Love, Jacques

-

Jacques,

This is just as much of a shock for me, trust me.

Love,

Blue.

-

Blue – who do you think I am?

Please don’t pull away. If you’re right, we can deal with it and I won’t tell anyone who you are – I promise! Are we friends? Are you at my college? Please stay with me.

All my love, Jacques.

-

Jacques,

I went to your high school, Simon.

Just give me some time, please.

Love,

Blue.

-

Blue…

Shit.

Of course.

I’ll be here when you’re ready.

Love, Simon.

-

Seeing Simon’s name in print, seeing his fears finally confirmed, Bram lets himself break down the way he’s been preventing for a couple of months now. His end of year assignments and exams are over and he’s packing up to return to Shady Creek for the summer but instead of doing anything productive, he’s on the floor in his room, head in his hands and crying, reaching into his hair to grab handfuls. It was one thing to suspect it was Simon – but Jacques sending him an Instagram link always had endless possibilities. The fact that Simon has found his way back to Bram’s door by complete accident and by chance is nothing short of overwhelming.

He slowly packs his room into boxes and wonders if it would be rude to lock Simon in one of them forever.

-

“We’re meeting at Waffle House tonight,” Leah says as soon as he answers the phone. He’s barely been home for three hours and his entire week has already been scheduled. “Garrett and Nick will be there so make sure you put your friendly face on.”

“Like I have any other face,” he smiles anyway. “Okay – anyone else?”

“Simon and Abby aren’t home yet,” Leah says. “But they’ll be there next time.”

“Great,” Bram says, and he means it.

-

“Met any cute girls?” his mom asks when she gets home from work. She threw her arms around him for a brief second before moving to start preparing food. He knew this question might come up but it doesn’t lessen the sinking feeling dragging him down, or the way a gentle blush rises in his cheeks with the weight of whatever lie he feels compelled to tell next.

Or maybe enough is enough?

“Erm, no,” Bram starts. “Actually, mom, I-”

He stops, his tongue suddenly twisting into knots and blocking his airways. No, he thinks, not now.

“Cute girls aren’t really my thing,” he stumbles over his words and feels a cold sweat start to prick at his skin under his top that is suddenly way too small and way too hot for the season.

“Any cute boys then?” his mom asks without missing a beat, reaching for some spices to add to the pan.

He’s sure this is what being stabbed feels like – right between the ribs, winding his stomach and leaving him grasping for anything to stay alive.

“Sure,” Bram whispers. “No one I’ve really been too interested in though.”

“With a whole year away from home? Honestly, Abraham,” his mom laughs.

“So,” he coughs and tries again. “You knew?”

“No,” his mom shrugs. “But it’s a logical guess when someone says cute girls aren’t their type and I know you’re not calling me stupid right now.”

“Absolutely not,” he laughs a little. “So, how’s work?”

And it goes like that.

-

“Greenfeld!”

Bram can’t help but smile as his once-upon-a-time best friend leaps from his seat to pull Bram into a hug and squeeze him until he can’t breathe.

“Hi,” he says when Garrett finally lets him go so he can address the table. Nick and Leah are both smiling back at him. Nick offers a small wave.

“I’ve ordered a round of waffles in honour of Simon and Abby who sadly could not be with us on this momentous reunion day,” Leah says with sobriety, but Bram can’t help but laugh.

“Who needs Taylor’s reunion anyway?” he grins, nudging Leah with his elbow as he slides into the booth next to her.

The mention of Simon’s name was only a small ache now and he wonders if he might finally be ready to deal with it.

“So, Bram,” Nick starts. “Are you still playing soccer?”

It goes like this until it’s time to leave. Leah walks him out and suddenly Bram is 17 again, crying in a parking lot lamenting where the events of his life and his secrets had left him.

“We can both be left out together,” Leah had said at the time, sitting down with him and gripping his hand.

As Nick and Garrett laughed and joked back to Nick’s car, pushing and shoving playfully in the way Bram used to, he feels the same sting.

“You’ve still got me,” Leah grabs his hand briefly, reading his mind as always.

“Good,” Bram smiles. “Because I just can’t turn up at that reunion without a date.”

“And then you’ll dump me afterwards?”

“Of course,” he grins.

He never expected it when he was at school. Leah had snuck up on him from nowhere when he felt like his world had ended. Sometimes he feels guilty, like he’s stolen her friendship from Simon and Nick, but mostly he feels grateful to have her. 17-year-old Bram is grateful to have her.

-

jacquesadit has sent you a message

                      Bram! How have you been? Are you home for the summer?

-

Bram regrets every decision that led to him following Simon on Instagram. Through his story and the photos he is posting along the way, he can track his journey home with Abby to the town, the route, the coffee shops and with some trepidation he acknowledges that Simon will be within walking distance in no less than a day.

He thinks back a couple of years and remembers how that once would have made him ecstatic. Now he feels like he has a countdown clock ticking in his head, just waiting for the moment when he sees Simon again – when he has to tell Simon that he’s Blue – when his safe little bubble bursts and he’s left standing in the cold.

He reads Simon’s message again and thinks with some relief how nice it is that he doesn’t appear to be holding a grudge.

He refreshes his page and sees a selfie of Simon hanging out of the passenger window of the car – sunglasses on, sun casting a glow across his face, some light stubble and hair windswept. Bram longs to run his hands through it. Bram wants to touch his face and see if his skin feels as warm as it looks. He notices the straw hanging from Simon’s mouth and he dares to want it to be him instead.

Road-trippin’ with Miss Suso #homewardbound is the caption. He’s near Charlotte. Which means he’ll be home tomorrow.

bl.greenfeld

                      Hi Simon. I see you’ve taken the scenic route back home. I’m sure Leah is organising a Waffle House night soon so maybe see you soon?

It sounds so formal that Bram wants to scream. When did they become this? How did they get to this point from swapping lunches in the hall to stunted small talk?

He remembers prom and he remembers last summer and he wills his brain to just stop.

-

Blue –

Saw this on my way home and thought of you <3

Love, Simon.

Attachment: giantoreocake.jpg

-

Being back in Shady Creek is like opening a time capsule Bram never wanted to see again. Everywhere he looks is a memory. He wanders up to Creekwood High with Leah to collect their reunion tickets but he’s surrounded by bad feelings and it’s choking him.

He remembers when he decided to pull away from Garrett because he couldn’t lie to him anymore, but he couldn’t come out. He remembers when the soccer season ended, and he realised he had no reason to continue forcing friendships he felt he couldn’t pursue honestly. He remembers when it all got too much, when Simon started mooning over Cal Price, and Bram ended up on the floor by his car drowning in despair and begging the universe to make the year end quickly and quietly. He remembers Leah finding him and their immediate friendship forging on feeling left out and absent, far out of the loop and rejected.

“Leah?” he asked as they approached the main hall.

“Yeah?”

“When is the next Waffle House night?” he asks, trying to be as discreet as possible.

Leah smiles and tells him.

He notes it in his mind and thinks about how he just wants his friends back… and what that’s going to cost. He’s not in high school anymore. He doesn’t have to care what anyone else thinks. He once only worried about losing Simon because to have him in his life in any capacity was better than nothing – but after a year without him, he knows he has nothing to lose.

-

A week later he’s crammed into another Waffle House booth, stuck in the corner with Leah while Nick, Garrett and Abby squash themselves in. He’s about to let his rainbow flag fly when the moment is taken from him at the same time the oxygen vacates his body.

Simon Spier stands at the foot of the table, staring at Bram, staring at Leah and Abby and Nick and Garrett, but back to Bram. And Bram can’t breathe. Jacques is before him. Simon is before him. And suddenly, he’s silent and it’s high school all over again.

-

“Bram?” a voice asked him, once upon a time. He was sat at a massively over-decorated table playing with P, R, O and M shaped confetti and hoping beyond hope that his drink hadn’t been spiked by Leah. “Are you okay”

He looked up to see Simon stood before him, in his tux and hair styled back. He’d opted for the bowtie, but all Bram could think was that he wanted to be as close to Simon as the tie. He wanted to be there, nestled against his Adam’s apple and under his chin… but then he decided to actually pay attention.

“Yeah,” he said with a quiet smile. “I’m fine. Are you?”

“I just-” Simon stumbled over his words and Bram loved him. It. Bram loved the stumbling. Yes. “We’re all dancing and- you shouldn’t be over here on your own. Come on?” He held out his hand and Bram just stared at it.

“To dance?” Bram asked, struck almost speechless. “With you?”

It must have come out wrong because Bram immediately felt regret for the way Simon’s face just fell.

“Or everyone?”

“No, no, no,” Bram hastily tried to correct. “Sure. With you.”

He remembered feeling that this would be how he made up for Halloween…

He took Simon’s hand and didn’t let go until the song was over. He didn’t let himself think too much about it – if he only ever had those few minutes it would be enough. But it wasn’t until the next song started that he bothered to spot Leah dancing with Garrett not two feet away, Nick and Abby in the other direction, and there he was with Simon now holding onto his waist and staring at him with such intensity that Bram thought he might just kiss him.

“Bram,” Simon whispered, looking for a moment at Bram’s lips. “I-”

Bram’s face crumbled. He gently reached for Simon’s hands and grasped them to pull them off of him. “I’m not ready,” he said quietly, barely audible over the music, not even caring that he’d just outed himself to the boy he was sure would be the love of his life… he didn’t care. He felt hot and light-headed and starved of oxygen and he just wasn’t ready. So, he let go of Simon’s hands and walked away.

-

Bram arrives back in the present as Simon is squashing himself in next to Nick and realises that it’s pointless to stop now. He finds his voice after a mouthful of a milkshake and a bite of a waffle.

“So,” he starts, getting everyone’s attention one by one. “I just want to apologise for last year.”

“What?” Garrett asks, furrowed brow and a forkful of waffle halfway to his face.

“I had this secret that I didn’t think I could tell anyone,” he starts, trying to be brave but mostly just pushing his waffle around the plate. “But I don’t want to lie or hide anything anymore.”

Leah grabs his forearm and he dares to look at her encouraging smile. He doesn’t dare turn to look at the stare Simon is fixing him with.

“This reunion is going to be hell enough without having to lie my way through small talk,” he laughs gently but he feels like he should be sick. “So- I’m gay. And I have been for years. And- yeah. That’s about it actually.”

And then there is silence.

“Bram-” Simon finally whispers.

“So I guess that’s why I was such an asshole last year,” Bram tries to laugh, but he chokes and quickly sips his now-warm milkshake to make it stop.

“What are you talking about?” Garrett says, reaching across the table to grab at Bram’s hand. The contact tingles and Bram almost feels like crying. “We were all really worried about you. You weren’t an asshole, I just really missed you, man.”

Bram nods and tries not to make eye contact, but he’s hyper aware of the gaze from the end of the table. He notices Nick staring at Simon, and well that just figures really.

“So why now?” Simon finally asks, still barely blinking. “Are you seeing someone? Are they coming to the reunion with you?”

Bram laughs a little and Leah joins in. Thank goodness Leah joins in. His heart begins to race as he finally, finally, dares to look at Simon and let himself see the feeling in his eyes. He’s confused, he’s hurt, he’s relieved?

“No,” Bram smiles. “I’m just ready now.”

-

Simon,

I told you this the other day in person, but I’m ready. Are you still here?

Love,

Blue.

-

Blue –

I want to see you. Now.

Love, Simon.

[ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult]

Worst Kept Secret-Tommy Shelby Imagine

Requested: Yes

Warnings: detailed description of a beating and physical abuse in a relationship

   The sound that came out of Y/N’s mouth was accompanied by blood spitting out of it. The force of Benjamin’s fist caused her to stumble back a little, but his strong grip on her arm kept her in front of him. She knew better than to face him since it only ever got her into more harm, but she always did.

   Immediately, she was met with a punch to the junction in the middle of her nose. Y/N cried out and tears instinctively sprang to her eyes as she wobbled against the wall. Benjamin got closer to her and socked her in the ribs, his breath smelling strongly of Irish whiskey. 

   The smell alone made Y/N nauseous. 

  “Ben, stop!” Y/N gasped. 

   It was moments like these where the delightful, attractive man she met five years ago at Ada’s birthday party had vanished. The life had been sucked from his deep hazel eyes and a vicious snarl was where an easygoing smile once was. He was the perfect man: a successful banker, relatively clean, and his family was welcoming. Everyone else Y/N knew liked Benjamin, well, almost everyone.

  She didn’t listen to the naysayers, though, since she was so positive that Benjamin was the one. They got married a year after dating and only a few months in, did he start hitting her. First, it was a slap and she threatened to shoot him. He made up for it the next day, crying on his knees and begging her not to leave him, that he would get help. Y/N knew that it was foolish to believe him and she would have dragged any other woman in the same situation out of the flat, but it was much more complicated.

   Now, she lived a life of hiding bruises and trying to compose herself. Y/N would often try to black out and focus on something else until Ben got tired and left her on the kitchen floor. That night, she was hyper aware and she tried to fight back, but Ben was incredibly strong. 

   He grabbed her by her hair and forced her to look at him. Y/N clawed at his face and he cursed, slamming her head against the wall. Her vision went blurry as soon as the back of her skull connected with the thick wall. All she knew was that she had to get out of there, that she wouldn’t stick around like she had the past four years. 

   When Y/N’s vision cleared, Ben was kneeling in front of her, holding a butcher knife to her throat. She held her breath and stared at Ben. He’d threaten to kill her so many times before that she believed that this may be the moment that he went through with it. She wanted to fight back but stayed paralyzed as she stared at Ben.

   “Every day I look at you, it’s like someone’s stabbing me in the heart. I told you to stay away from those Blinders, especially Tommy, and this is what you do to me? You embarrass me in front of all of Birmingham, laughing with him, drinking with him. You’ve screwed him, I know you have.”

   “No, Ben, Tommy and I are just mates, I swear it. I’ve known him since I was a child, he only thinks of me as a sister,” Y/N pleaded. 

   She hated that she had to resort to pleading to save herself, but she didn’t have any other options. Y/N was positive that trying to fight Ben would result in her death and she couldn’t die, not yet.

    Ben didn’t look convinced by his wife’s pleading and snarled. “I loved you, Y/N, I really did, but you screwed it all up. ‘Come to Small Heath, there’ll be plenty of banker jobs here’. You knew full well that there was only one banker’s position and the pay is bloody awful. If we’d stayed in London like I wanted to, we’d be rich, but you had to stay in Small Heath because you had to be close to the Shelbys.” He pressed the knife against Y/N’s y/s/c neck. “You ruined my life, you put yourself here!”

   If the walls hadn’t been so thick, Y/N was positive that the neighbors would have heard. 

   “And now, you expect me to believe that that baby in ya is mine? Bloody whore, aren’t ya, spreadin’ your legs for the gypsy!” 

   If Y/N hadn’t have been so terrified, she would have definitely snapped at Ben. The Shelbys weren’t just gypsies, they were people, especially Tommy. Tommy was the one who gave her a job, doing the books and everything. It was her job that kept she and Ben in their decent house, a fact that she knew Ben resented. Plus, she was positive that Tommy had no interest in her----Y/N saw how he looked at that barmaid at the Garrison. 

   “I never did anything with Tommy,” Y/N whispered.

   “It feels like someone’s slittin’ my throat every time I look at ya.” 

   Ben held her against the wall in that position for what felt like hours. Y/N heart was beating in her throat and hot tears poured down her cheeks as she prayed for Ben to release her.

   Finally, he pulled the knife away from her and she gasped heavily. He put the knife away and grabbed his coat.

   “When I come back, you better be cleaned up and have dinner ready.” 

    In all their time together, Ben still hadn’t worked out one thing about Y/N: she was not one to take anything lying down. As soon as the door closed behind him, Y/N carefully pushed herself onto her feet and limped over to the phone. She hissed with each number she dialed. 

    “Who is it?” Arthur asked. 

    “It’s Y/N, come over to mine. Don’t tell anyone that you’re coming over here or why.”

   “What’s happened?”

   “I’ll tell you when you get here, just...hurry.”

   Arthur hesitated. “All right.”

   The eldest Shelby brother arrived at Y/N’s house about ten minutes later. Y/N had managed to sit down in a position that didn’t exaggerate the pain her injuries brought. His eyes filled with rage as soon as he laid eyes on her.

   “I’ll kill him,” Arthur said. 

   “There’ll be time for that later. I need you to take me to Dr. Thompson’s. You brought the car, right?”

   “Right. Y/N, you know that when Tommy finds out, he’s gonna kill Ben.”

   “Yeah, I know. Just help me, will you?”

    Once Dr. Thompson finished fixing up Y/N, she promised Arthur that she would tell Tommy about everything and told the nurses and Dr. Thompson not to let Ben anywhere near her if he figured out where she went. Fortunately, Dr. Thompson was like another uncle to Y/N and agreed to it. 

   Those five days in the clinic were some of the most relaxing of Y/N’s life. The pain medication that Dr. Thompson gave her put her into the deepest sleep. When she dreamed, she dreamed of putting several rounds in Ben. Mostly, she dreamed of him begging her for mercy. Then, she would dream of Tommy, John, and Arthur doing a real number on him while she watched from the sideline with a cigarette. Occasionally, she dreamt of holding her baby and living in a nice big house in the country, with acres of green grass for her child to explore. Sometimes there was a dog or two, but one common appearance was made by a certain Shelby. Every time Y/N dreamt that, she would shake herself awake.

   “Pull it together, Y/N,” she muttered.

   She’d practically grew up with Shelby boys since Polly and Y/N’s mother were the best of friends. Arthur was always a laugh, John was ridiculous, and Tommy was well different. He was as clever as a fox and used to trick her into doing some of the worst things a teenager could do. Y/N couldn’t count how many times they’d have to run away from coppers or how many fights she’d been able to pull Tommy away from. Of course, Y/N was well aware of Tommy’s good looks and even harbored some feelings for him at a time, but she wasn’t his type. He’d seen her at her worst and she wasn’t a shiny, pretty thing anymore. In fact ,after being married to Ben, she felt more ragged and worn than a doll. But, they’d never kept secrets from each other and Y/N could barely keep anything down since she hadn’t told Tommy of her whereabouts. She’d been gone for five days and called in a day after the incident to tell Polly that she was real sick and wouldn’t be able to come in for at least a week. Polly had offered to stop by, but Y/N had insisted that Ben and Leah, her housekeeper, would take care of her.

    Nurse Whitney, an older nurse with the kindest smile, came into the room with breakfast: porridge and tea. “Afternoon, Mrs. Edwards.”

   “It’s Miss Y/L/N,” Y/N muttered.

   Nurse Whitney pressed her lips into a straight line. “Yes, I completely understand, my mistake.” She set the tray on the tray table and pushed it so it was set above Y/N’s lap. 

   “Do you think I could have some tea?” Y/N asked.

   “Sure, just no sugar in it for now.”

   “I haven’t had any visitors, right?”    Nurse Whitney shook her head. “Just Leah but as far as I know, Mr. Edwards hasn’t stopped in.” 

   “Thank you, Nurse.”

   She nodded at Y/N and exited the room. Y/N picked at her porridge and wrinkled her nose at the milk. She’s always had a sensitive stomach but the pregnancy made it worse.

   Fortunately, Ben’s beating hadn’t done much to the baby, according to Dr. Thompson. Y/N was an extremely fortunate woman and if she kept getting her way, her child would never meet their monster father.

   A few minutes later, Nurse Whitney knocked on the door before opening it. “Miss Y/L/N, I hope you don’t mind but you have a visitor.”

   Y/N didn’t have time to react as Nurse Whitney stepped further inside and Tommy appeared in the doorway. Her y/e/c widened and she suddenly felt as though she was about to vomit the little porridge she’d eaten.

   “Visiting hours aren’t until eleven,” Y/N muttered. 

   “It’s half twelve,” Tommy said.

   His tone was unsettling and Y/N focused her attention on her tea.

   “I’ll leave you two alone then.” Nurse Whitney gave Y/N a bright smile before she walked out of the room.

   Tension filled the room as soon as the kind nurse left it and Y/N wished she could have walked out with her. Tommy stood at the foot of her bed, in his long dark coat and Blinder cap, radiating anger. He had a small paper bag in his hand and he look far less than pleased, it was his usual angry face. Unfortunately, it was near the expression he made when he was about to tear apart someone or everyone in the room.

    “What are you doing here?” Y/N asked.

    “I came to give you soup. Polly made it and insisted that I bring it over since she was busy. I’m sure you can imagine my surprise when Leah told me that you were so sick that no one could be near you.” Tommy moved to stand next to Y/N. “She’s an awful liar.”

    “Her job is to clean house----not lie,” Y/N muttered.

    “Right, that’s yours. It didn’t take long for me to get the truth out of her.” He set the bag on Y/N’s nightstand and sat in the chair next to her bed. “Now, tell me exactly what the bloody hell happened to you!”

    “There’s no need to yell, don’t yell at me.”

    “I have every right to yell at ya. You had me worried sick, thinking that you were dying, but you’re here, looking like you just crawled out of hell!” Tommy managed to calm down and Y/N avoided his icy gaze.

   “Remember my doctor’s appointment I had a few days ago?” Y/N asked.

   “Yeah.”

   “Well, I found out I’m pregnant, one month to be exact. That’s why I didn’t drink at the Garrison that night after work. Anyway, I was happy and surprised that I was going to be a mum and I hoped that Ben would feel the same way.”

   Y/N looked up at Tommy just to see his eyes darken. 

   “Ben did this?”

   “At first ,he was upset because he didn’t think we could afford it and I told him that I’m making enough money at the shop to sustain every body. Then, he took that as me insultin’ his job. Then, somehow, he thought that the baby wasn’t his but yours and got upset because I had promised him I would stay away from you lot even though I work for you.”

   “Why would he think it was mine?”    “A few months ago, he convinced himself we were having an affair because you had to walk me back home after drinking at the Garrison. He never checked up on me at the shop, though, so I didn’t think he would know if we were speaking or not.” Y/N sighed. “Anyway, he started hitting me, punching me, and smacking me. I would have fought back, but he held a knife to my neck, and told me that everything was my fault.” Tears welled up in Y/N’s eyes. “That I was the reason his life went to crap and that I was a whore.”

   “He called you a whore?” Tommy looked upset.

   “He’s called me worse.” Y/N sniffled. “Anyway, when he left, I called Arthur to bring me here and decided to divorce Ben.” 

  Tommy ran his hand over his face slowly, the way he always did when he was trying to calm himself down. “So, your husband, a man I told you wasn’t right, almost killed you but instead of calling me, you called my brother?”

  “It’s not a big deal, Tom.”

  “It is a big deal!” Tommy stood. “You’re my best mate, I’m supposed to be there for ya. If something worse had happened to you, I’d go mad.”

  “Tom, I’m sorry, I was scared that if you saw me that night, that you’d kill him.”

  “He doesn’t deserve to breathe. Look at what he did to you and the baby!” 

  “I get that, Tom, really, I do. I’ve wanted to kill him for a while now, but I couldn’t.”

  “Why not?”

  Y/N hesitated. “Because...because I thought that I’d get thrown in jail or be a bleeding spinster for the rest of my life.”

  “Your stubbornness is gonna get you killed one day. Besides, if you had killed him, I would’ve helped you get rid of the body.”

  Y/N looked up at Tommy and smiled. Most mates joke about helping the other kill someone, but Tommy definitely meant it.

  “How long has this been going on?” 

  “Nearly the whole marriage. First, it was a fluke and he smacked me. He begged me to stay with im, said he’d get help but never did. Soon, I got real could at covering up bruises and blaming my clumisness for broken bones. I guess you could say you were right about him all along.” Y/N shook her head. “I hate when you’re right.”

  Y/N broke down again and Tommy gently hugged her. She hated that he was seeing her like this, all broken and upset. She could only imagine the state of her, but the glorious catharsis that came from her sobbing helped take her mind off it.

   When he pulled away, Tommy had a weird look in his eyes. “What are you gonna do next?”    “Ideally, I’d divorce Ben, move out to a big house in the country, have my kid and raise ‘im there. Realistically, I’ll probably move back in with my parents and you won’t lose your best book keeper,” Y/N said with a small smile.

   But Tommy wasn’t smiling. 

   “You’re not gonna divorce Ben?” 

    “What’s the point when I know you and the other Blinders are gonna kill ‘im?”

  Tommy smirked. “In this big house of yours in the country, you ever imagine room for a father to the baby?”

  Y/N’s eyes widened. Tommy couldn’t actually be offering to help her out in that sense, it would be asking for too much from him. 

  “Yeah, maybe, but I couldn’t imagine you would want that responsibility.”   “Why not?”

  “Because you’re Tommy Shelby, you go out and charm beautiful women out of their fine dresses all the time. You’d hate me if I tied you down just to help me out.”

   Tommy looked upset again, but it was for an entirely different reason. 

  “First off, I could never hate you. Second, it’s my job as your best mate to help you in any way I can and if that means moving out to the country with you to help the baby, that’s fine.” 

   “I...I can’t ask you to leave the company for me like this. It’s going so well.”

   “I’ll stay with the company, just manage it from the country.” He ran his hand over the top of Y/N’s head. 

   “And you’re doing all of this so that my child will have a father?” 

   “Partly. I also wouldn’t mind being your husband.” 

   Y/N fought to keep her mouth from falling open. Tommy couldn’t be serious, he just couldn’t be. This had to be a joke or a dream and she would wake up any second.

   But Tommy had never looked more serious before in his life.

   “What?”

   “I’ll leave you to think about it.”

   He kissed the top of her head and left.

   As Y/N relaxed into her pillows, one thing was for certain: Ben was about to learn that Tommy and his family were not simply book keeping gypsies. 

[drethanramslay]

Please could I request 19, 46 and 97 with Ethan and f!mc As fluffy as you can make it 🙌 Thank yooou

Thanks for the ask anon!!

And let the writing spree commece 😉 you can find the prompt list here

#19-  God, you are so fucking cute.

#46- “Please don’t say that about yourself. Please don’t believe that. You’re so much more than that. You’re so…”

#97- “I apologise sincerely if my handsome/beautiful face has kept you awake all night.”

Taglist: @miyakokurono @trappedinfandoms @openheart12 @sekizincimektup @junggoku @ethandaddyramsey @edith-eggs1 @ethanramseysgirl @samihatuli @loveellamae @x-kyne-x @paulfwesley @zeniamiii @binny1985 @an-urban-witch-ig @ramseyegerton @noboundariesplease @mrsdr-ethan-ramsey @newcolonies @mkamra2355 @unluckygs @choices-love-affair @choiceskaavya @caseyvalentineramsey @ohramsey @virtualrain202 @squishywizardhq @itsgoingnuts

(i you want to be added to the taglist let me know:))

warning: mention of suicide, and i promise its fluff 

ICE CREAM

Ethan was walking down the hallway, towards the reception, his eyes focused on the chart in his hand. It was the end of the day and he usually didn’t like taking his work home, but he couldn’t stand being in the hospital any moment longer.

He hadn’t been home for 2 days and there is only so much napping you can do on the rusty beds in the on-call room before you craved your own mattress.

He stopped by and signed a couple of release forms. He was so engrossed in his work that he didn’t notice someone standing behind him.

“Ethan?” The feminine voice called out.

He turned around and his blood ran cold.

“Oh, my beautiful baby boy!! You have grown so much.” Ethan’s mom threw herself at Ethan and Ethan’s eyes widened, not knowing what to do, or what to say.

There aren’t any guidelines on ‘how to behave when your mom turns up after 25 years’ that you can read up.

He slowly peeled her off of him.

“What do you want, Barbara?” A look of pain passed on her face.

Ethan narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms, reinforcing the walls all around his heart, his eyes turning steely.

“I- I missed you.”

Ethan scoffed. He turned towards the counter and resumed his work, hurrying the hell up so that he can get away from the ghost of his past.

“Ethan, please. I’m so sorry, I made a mistake and I’m here to fix-”

That’s it, I tried to be patient but this woman won’t get the fucking hint.

He gently grabbed his mom by the arm and pulled her into the nearest conference room. He didn’t need his personal life to be the gossip of the hospital.

“No. You do not get to say that.”

“But I me-”

Ethan held his hands up, stopping her. “No, you don’t. You can’t call it a mistake now. It’s 25 years too late. I know you are here only for my money. You may have played my dad by luring him into the false security that you are here to 'fix things’ but you can’t fool me.”

“Ethan, I would never-”

“Please. I saw you shoplift from the store near your motel. Don’t lie. You are just a con artist trying to hurt dad all over again.”

“How do yo- oh! It was that girl, wasn’t it? What’s her name… Garcia!” She said as she snapped her fingers.

Ethan stood towering over her staring down at her with the coldest eyes. “You do not deserve to speak her name. You do not deserve to be in the same space as her. You do not deserve to breathe the same air as her because she is everything that you aren’t. She is loyal, caring and supportive. She is a thousand times the woman you will ever be.”

Ethan stepped back and tugged on his jacket. “Now get the hell out of here and don’t show me or my dad your face. Otherwise, I swear to god, I will get a restraining order.”

Turning on his heels he stomped out of the room. He was so blinded by his anger that he almost trampled over Leah.

“Woah there, big man! I’m just a small bean, don’t trample me.” She said as she steadied herself by grasping his strong arms.

“I’m sorry Garcia.” He said as he put his hands on her waist, trying to balance her. Leah blushed and looked up but the moment she saw the torment on his face, the smile dropped and concern schooled her features.

“Ethan.. what happened?”

“I-” tears welled up his eyes and Leah knew that it was a serious situation. She grabbed his hands and pulled him into an on-call room and locked the door. She made him sit on the bed and she sat across him, crossing her legs.

She reached and grasped his hands. “Tell me what happened. It’s just you and me.”,

“My mom is a fucking cockroach that j can’t seem to get rid of. She has already invaded my dad’s life and he fucking let her. I spoke to him the other day about how I hated that, she was back in his life. Am I really that worthless that he won’t listen to his son?”

“And that’s not it, she fucking pretends that she knows me!! Does she know that dad cried to sleep for so many days?! Does she know that I was fucking bullied for 7 years and it was so bad that I was fucking depressed and suicidal?! Does she know that she is the cause of all my problems?!” His voice cracked as he bent his head down, grief overcoming him.

Leah’s heart was breaking for the man in front of her. He didn’t deserve this shit. He deserved the entire fucking universe and if she could, she would lay it at his feet.

“I’m just a fucking curse. I’m worthless and I-” He sniffed.

“Please don’t say that about yourself. Please don’t believe that. You’re so much more than that. You’re so…” Leah’s voice cracked. Ethan was one of the strongest people she had ever meant and to see him cry, felt like a stab in the heart.

She straddled his lap and held his face up so that his troubled blues could meet her warm brown eyes.

“Ethan.. you are the strongest person I have ever met. You are selfless and are ready to give it all up for your patients. You are a loving man and you could go to the ends of the world to for your loved ones. You are deserving of EVERY damn good thing in this world. You are a great leader, mentor, son, you name it.”

Ethan blinked and a lone tear fell down his face. He had never seen anyone, not even his own father shower him with such affection.

How did I get so lucky?

Leah wiped the tear off and caressed his defined cheekbones. “I’m not lying. I am so fucking lucky to be in a world where you exist. Without you, I wouldn’t be where I am..”

“God, you are so fucking cute,” Ethan said lowly as he grasped her hand, which was resting on his cheeks. He squeezed it in gratitude.

“Yeah, I know. So does that mean you will buy me ice cream?”

“Wait.. isn’t it supposed to be the other way round? You treating me."Ethan asked with one eyebrow lifted.

"Nah, my emotional quota for the day is over.”

They laughed as they stepped out into the night. It was already twelve in the night and they drove all around the city searching for an open store.

——————————————————————————————————–

“What’s your favourite colour?” Leah asked him as she dug into her Ben’s and Jerry’s.

“Hazel… Like your eyes.” He said cheekily as he nudged her shoulder

“OOF! Ethan, you are so cute.” She blushed as she dug into her tub.

After a moment of silence, Ethan looked down at his watch “Sunshine, it’s 4 am. I can’t even go to sleep now.”

“But you aren’t sad anymore.” She gave him a soft smile as she leaned on his shoulder.

“That’s true… But still, I like sleeping!”

“I apologise sincerely if my beautiful face has kept you awake all night.”

“No, you don’t you little shit.” He rolled his eyes. Leah just gave a coy smile and snuggled into Ethan, a little more.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

FTWD 6x08: First Analysis

Okay, let’s talk about this episode. 1) It SUCKED. 2) It also SUCKED. Anyone want to take a stab at what I’ll list for #3?

Why? Character death.

I’ll put all spoilers beneath the READ MORE. If this makes you at all worried about Beth’s return, read what I’ve written below. It will make you feel better.

***As always, spoilers abound for 6x08 below. Don’t read until you’ve watched!***

Okay, so I’m sure you already figured this out, but John is probably my favorite character currently on FEAR, so I’m super-bummed that they decided to kill him off. And I totally didn’t see it coming. The screeners talked about something big happening in Fear, but I didn’t think it would be this. Yeah. SUCKS.

But let’s discuss, shall we?

Because there was and still is a lot of Beth symbolism around John, I know that’s going to unsettle people. I don’t want this to come across as me being worried in any way, but I’ve already gotten quite a few Asks and messages, so clearly others in the fandom are worried that because John dies here, it might mean Beth really did die, too.

Let me assure you, there’s nothing further from the truth. 

I’d like you to keep the following 6 points:

1.       It’s all about the attitude of the character in that moment. (A.k.a. the symbolism can change.)

2.       His death will spur on the current storyline and affect other characters.

3.       There is plenty of precedent for killing off true love couples. Unfortunately.

4.       This was a replay of Grady.

5.       John does not = Beth in this season. Morgan does.

6.       Major clarity on the Door symbol, and that’s freaking huge!

It’s all about the character’s attitude in the moment.

This is something I’ve addressed before when looking at the dialogue various characters have before their deaths. In most cases, they accept their deaths or become negative in some way. And that’s not to say that they all want to die or try to commit suicide. For example, Dale. He didn’t want to die and he wasn’t suicidal. But before his death, he said he no longer wanted to live in a world where they killed Randal. That’s basically, through symbolic dialogue, announcing his own death.

Another good example is Glenn. There was tons of Beth symbolism and even a lot of her dialogue around Glenn in S6, just before his death fake out. Now, clearly he didn’t want to die in 7x01, and he didn’t really say anything to that effect. But the point is, the hopeful, Beth symbols around him wasn’t present in 6x16/7x01 as it was in 6x03. So, the symbolism around a character can change if their attitude has changed and their heading toward their own death.

Do you see what I mean? While there has been lots of Beth symbolism around John and June in the past, in this episode and even a few previous to this, he became very hopeless and dark. You could say he parallels to S2 Beth who also tried to commit suicide. Not to S4/S5 Beth who was hopeful and determined to live.

Throughout the episode, Morgan gives John tons of chances to change his mind, and he refuses.

One more example and I’ll move on. Heath and Tara.

I’ll admit this symbolism is a little confusing, and I had to think through it several times to square it in my head. In 7x06, Tara fell off a bridge into a river, and washed up in a new community. She lived. Here, John falls off a bridge into a river and washes up in front of his own cabin. But he dies.

We’ve always attributed the Tara symbolism to Beth, yet John died here. But Tara DID live, so which is it?

Again, it just depends on the attitude. Before Tara went off the bridge, we saw her being positive and hopeful, while Heath was being super negative and hopeless. Tara lived. She found herself in captivity, but eventually escaped and made it home. Heath didn’t die in that case, but disappeared into the CRM. The point is, something bad happened to him because he was being negative and hopeless. And to this day, he’s never made it home. See what I mean? So, it’s all about where the character’s head is at. Unfortunately, John had given up.

And the other confusing thing is that he seems to get his hope back right at the end. The last thing we see him say is “It’s not too late.” But I think the idea is that it’s just too little too late at that point. If you follow the sequence of events back, it’s clear that if he hadn’t gone back to the cabin and tried to kill himself, he wouldn’t have been on that bridge and Lizzie—I mean Dakota—wouldn’t have killed him. So his death was the result of his own actions.

His death will spur on the current storyline and affect other characters.

This is something the showrunners really emphasize on TTD. And I won’t say I’m a fan of it, but we do have a precedent for it in the show. Glenn’s death kicked off AOW. Jesus’s death happened at the start of the Whisper War. The death of the pike victims spurred Carol to let Negan out to kill Alpha. So, while I wish they’d used someone other than John for this (cuz I heart him), this is something we’ve seen in other story lines before.

Will it happen with Beth? Well, I don’t think Beth will die at the beginning of the CRM war, if that’s what anyone is thinking. But I think someone will. I’ll talk more about this below, but for now, know that there probably will be a sacrifice of some kind. I actually kind of wonder if it will be Eugene. Only because of the Sampson template. I’ve said before that I think, like Sampson, he might do something to save TF, kill their enemies, and give them a fighting chance. But that remains to be seen, of course.

There’s even a line in this episode where John says, “this river has a way of bringing people back to life.” Clearly, that doesn’t apply to him. But I think it applies to the rest of his group who will “come alive” and finally fight off Virginia’s evil yoke.

There is plenty of precedent for killing off true love couples. Unfortunately.

Another reason I know this makes people nervous is because this is a true love couple with major symbolic ties to Bethyl. I get it. But actually, we’ve seen similar things with lots of other Bethyl proxy couples.

The one that first comes to mind is Sasha and Abraham. They had TONS of Bethyl parallels. They did get together and get some time together, though not much. Then Abe was killed off, and Sasha followed him a season later.

There’s also David and Betsy from S6. Admittedly, there were SUPER minor characters, but still.

The other big one is Glaggie. I’m not saying there were tons of Bethyl parallels there, except in the fact that they’re both soulmate couples and both have death fake outs. But the point is, TWD hasn’t exactly shied away from killing off soulmate couples.

So what does that mean for Beth and Daryl?

I’m really not trying to scare or depress anyone. I’m not saying they’re going to kill off either Beth or Daryl after she returns. My point is that pointing at John and June as a soulmate couple and trying to extend this death to Beth and Daryl doesn’t really work. This is just another beloved character fatality, and TWD has given us a LOT of those.

So might they kill Beth or Daryl down the line? I mean, anything’s possible, but I really doubt it. I’ve said this before, but they wouldn’t do all this epic foreshadowing just to pull a Morales, or make them “just another” tragic couple.

Plus, it’s Daryl. His romance was always meant to be epic and I really think they’ll both be standing at the end of the series (including the spinoff) whenever that is. So, it’s not something I worry about.

This was a replay of Grady.

I’ll go into this more tomorrow in my Details post, but there are specific things here that make it clear to me that this is something of a replay of Grady. For today, just look at it this way: we have someone falling off a bridge (Daryl and Carol did so in 5x06) and someone being shot (John and Beth). Walkers are also involved in a big way. The difference is that John dies while we think Beth lived. And we can be confident in that because, as I explained above, her attitude was exactly the opposite of John’s.

John does not = Beth in this season. Morgan does.

Keep in mind that, as I said above, John because S2 Beth here. He sort of retrogressed into hopelessness, and that’s why he died.

If anyone is a Beth proxy in this season of Fear, it’s Morgan. He’s sort of “come back from the dead,” reinvented himself, is searching for his lost love (Grace) who happens to be pregnant (child/baby symbolism) and in this episode, John even calls him a ghost.

I’m just saying.

Major clarity on the Door symbol, and that’s freaking huge!

Okay, this is the big one for me, and about the only real silver lining of this episode. This is something we’ve been stumped over for a LONG time. Specifically, since they were filming S5.

Review: while filming the lost ‘white cabin’ scenes we know Emily was in for S5, and which we still haven’t seen yet, Steven Yeun posted this.

It’s a picture from inside that white cabin, and he captioned it with, “Open the door!” but then deleted it. We never understood exactly what that meant. I think most people assumed it was a tease about what might be or what might have happened in that cabin.

But this episode with John is called “The Door.”

They have this whole theme in the episode about how John wants to close himself in his cabin and commit suicide. So, closing the door = death. Opening the door = life. 

My fellow theorists and I have been talking a lot about the cabin symbol as a tomb, since 10x18. We think Leah’s entire cabin represents a tomb. Which not only shows that she might be dead/a hallucination, but it represents Daryl being emotionally dead. Closing himself off to the living and indulging things that aren’t even real.

We’ve seen other examples of this theme as well. In S4, Carol and Ty tried to stay in the little cabin, rather than moving forward to find the others, and it resulted in death (Lizzie killing Mica).

Also in S4, Sasha tried to stop rather than pushing forward. It probably would have resulted in her death. Thankfully, she came around, and that led to her not only living, but reuniting with Tyreese.

@wdway also pointed out that we just recently saw Lucille this. She entombed herself in the basement, shutting the door and leaving a note. And while she was dying of cancer anyway, she didn’t wait for cancer to kill her. She took her own life. So she entombed herself and chose death.

John wanted to do the same thing in this episode. He didn’t get a chance to, but as I discussed above, that’s why he died.

But do you see why this is so significant. Steven posting the cabin with the “open the door!” caption is his way of showing that something about the cabin in how Beth lived.

Opening the door = life.

So while I kind of hated this episode and am super bummed about John, it does shed some light on a lot of the symbolism.

Tomorrow, I’ll talk more about the episode details.

Thoughts?

[jjohnsonwriter]

“The Children are Our Future”

“When is this going to stop!?” Elizabeth Psomas checked the volume of her bullhorn. “Sarah Cohn, a transgender classmate, was murdered; found dead in a ditch, and neither the police, nor this school’s administration have done anything about it!” The crowd forming around Elizabeth on Appian Way kept growing, and they listened in rapt attention. “It’s up to us; the student body, to police ourselves and create a safe space; an environment where we can all learn and thrive! Right now, every man, woman, and child on this campus, be they cisgender, trans, queer, gender non-binary, agender, genderfluid, or native American two-spirit, should feel unsafe!” 

Her friend Sasha Stilton-Brown asked her, “Elizabeth, is it OK if I put down this soap box for you to stand on?” Elizabeth nodded, and Sasha replied, “I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to provide explicit verbal consent before I can put this soap box down in front of you, Elizabeth.”

“Thank you for asking for consent Sasha. And yes, it’s OK for you to put down the box.” She placed the REI™ pre-distressed, limited edition Soap-Box™ on the brick walkway. Elizabeth stepped up on the box to address the swelling crowd. “My fellow students, for too long have our transgender, gender non-binary, non-hetero, and other genderqueer classmates been bullied, harassed, assaulted, and now murdered!” The crowd started to cheer and shout in a mindless rabble of positive reinforcement. Some of the passing students kept on walking, while others joined the growing throng.

“I’m calling for justice against this horrendous murder; an end to the harassment and abuse, and a campus where we can all learn and work knowing the end of our journey through this institution will be graduation, not subjugation and death!” They cheered Elizabeth on, and she felt the will to effect change; to expand the rights of her peers, and to increase tolerance in society. She was not trans, but having grown up a cisgendered woman, she knew the struggle of inequality and being told what was and wasn’t your place. The dozens of students now gathered around Elizabeth cheered her on.

The mob clambered over one another to hear Elizabeth’s words over their shouts and cheers, “Let’s march down to the student senate, and demand action!” She shouted and raising her bullhorn into the air, the mob followed her down in Appian Way to the Curia, where the student senate met

In seconds the Elizabethan mob filled the Curia’s atrium past its maximum fire marshal regulated capacity of 75 occupants, and Elizabeth’s consigliere, Sasha Stilton-Brown asked her: “Elizabeth, may I knock on the door to the student senate’s office on your behalf?”

“Yes Sasha, please do that. Thank you so much!” She said with great mirth.

Sasha Stilton-Brown politely knocked on the door three times, waited a few seconds, and knocked again. “I don’t think anybody’s here right now.” She told her friend and LGBTQIA+ inclusive, intersectional feminist ally.

Elizabeth scratched her head. “Um, I’m just wondering, if maybe it wouldn’t upset anyone too much here, or trigger them, if we broke the door down?” 

A young man from the crowd came forward and said “No, I wouldn’t be offended.”, but he was white, and from the looks of it cisgender, so they checked with some of the African-American kids, but they said that ‘African-American’ felt patronizing, and if you had to be so crass as to address their race directly, you should call them ‘black’, and that if you were going to write down the outdated and frankly somewhat racist historical phrase, then you wouldn’t use a hyphen, and that you would write it: ‘African American’, because a hyphen would actually imply that the person was someone born in Africa who had also gained American citizenship. 

Feeling the room had reached a consensus, Elizabeth decided that they should all take turns running at the door, then kicking the handle in an attempt to break the door down. They agreed they had a right to do break down the door because without doing so they would feel more threatened by not addressing the campus’s social climate in the wake of the potential hate-crime murder of their transgender classmate.

They broke down the door to find the room where the student senate held their meetings completely empty. “Elizabeth?” Sasha asked her, with the 112 members of the mob standing behind them. “Um… I’m kind of getting the feeling like that maybe the student senate isn’t here right now?” She said, raising the pitch of her voice at the end of the sentence so everybody would know it was a question, and nobody would feel like, threatened, or like, triggered, because it was kind of a tense situation anyway, and they were all feeling a bit ‘on-edge’, which was the term they agreed to use rather than going straight to labeling themselves ‘triggered’, because they were worried that with tensions running so high one person labeling themselves as ‘triggered’ might cause a massive wave of them all labeling themselves as triggered, and they all decided mutually, as like a co-equal-partnership-type-thing, that they didn’t want to put a ‘label’ on it because they knew that some of the group might not want to be labeled, and they didn’t want to make anyone feel they had been ‘Othered’, especially in such a big group, with so much like, ‘revolutionary steam’ built up.

“Right, I’m also thinking that student senate might not be here right now.” Elizabeth said, and one of the nameless, faceless, and totally coequal and valid mob came forward holding a piece of paper which had been taped to the door they were trying to break down.

A cis white girl wearing a black dress approached Elizabeth and Sasha. “Hey guys, I just wanted to show you that there’s this sign that says the student senate is actually out for the day, do you think maybe it would be OK if we agreed to meet another day, and like, maybe table this whole ‘revolution’ thing until the student senate, or some body of representatives we can actually talk to that might actually want to listen to us-”

Then the mob realized a white, cisgender, heteronormatively gender-affirming dressed girl was making the point, so they started shouting the nameless, faceless cis white girl down, the angriest and most aggressive of which were actually white cis females themselves, and the totally co-equal mob stoned her with their epithets: “White Privilege!”, “Cis-Privilege Must Die!”, and the absolutely fatal: “Heteronormativity is Patriarchy!” The mob heaped more castigations, one on top of another until their words blended together in a meaningless avalanche of anti-slurs, and Elizabeth and Sasha realized that they had lost all control over their once unified and somewhat cohesive group. The two friends pressed their way through to the exit and narrowly escaped being trampled by the mob. 

They had escaped to the relative safety of their dorm, and although neither of them were trans, or even gender non-binary, or anything other than like, totally cisnormative in their look, appearance, and the rest of their overall outward gender-expression, Elizabeth and Sasha weren’t taking any chances given what had already happened to Leah Smith: their trans classmate who had been murdered. Leah had been found buried in a shallow grave off the I-80; her genitals and eyes stabbed over 50 times before the attackers had set fire to her corpse.

“We can’t let this stand; we’ve gotta do something!” Elizabeth said as she cracked into a bag of seaweed chips.

Sasha Stilton-Brown had never felt really unsafe before in her life, but now her rights had to have been violated, she thought. She wasn’t sure exactly what rights had been violated, because come to think of it, she couldn’t really think of what all her rights were exactly, but she definitely got the feeling that somehow, somewhere along the line, they’d been violated. So she did the only thing she knew how to do. “Liz, I got it!” 

Elizabeth chewed the wad of granola to the inside of one cheek before clearing her throat and saying: “Well first of all, please don’t abbreviate my name, because it makes me feel like, less than, or ‘Other’,” Elizabeth used finger quotes when she said ‘Other’, “but yeah, go ahead, what did you want to say?”

Sasha cleared her throat before speaking again; “Actually, please don’t presume to give me like, permission to speak, because it makes me feel like I’m being managed, but yeah, what if we started our own student senate!?” Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at the insinuation she was managing Sasha, but then Elizabeth’s expression lit up when she realized the implication of all the things she (which she immediately corrected herself in her head to ‘we’) could do with all that power to affect change!

“Sasha, you’re a genius!” 

Sasha cleared her throat. “Actually, Elizabeth, please don’t use the term ‘genius’ because it’s rife with patriarchal implications, and my brother actually has an IEP, so I’d appreciate it if you could just, like, not.” Her brother’s IEP was a stunt he pulled so that he could listen to music in study hall and he didn’t actually have any learning disability except the paralyzing fear of spiders and dodgeballs, and aforementioned desire to listen to music.

Elizabeth immediately began to feel a flood of remorse, and tears welled up in her eyes, which she could barely contain. “OMG, I’m soooo sorry Sasha. I had no idea!”

Sasha fluffed her pillow and sat up in bed, working on her American Civ essay on personal freedom and the Bill of Rights. “But you know, you’re right: we need to make our own student senate. We need something which can fight for our rights on campus!” 

Four days later, in the hours preceding the next student senate meeting, Elizabeth and Sasha stood outside to gather another group of students to aid in their cause. They marched into the student senate meeting with their posse of like-minded, freethinking individuals in tow.

An official looking white cisgender female stood at the lectern wearing a Bernie Sanders button on her blazer, and spoke into the microphone: “As class president, it’s my responsibility now to open up the floor to public comment regarding the matter at hand: the senate’s vote on whether we should replace tofu in the cafeteria with soy-free seitan or tempeh.”

A thin young man (really more of a boy) wearing a gray cotton shirt with two interlocking triangles, one pink, the other purple, stood up and addressed the president of the senate, the delegation, and the room. “Hello, the LGBTQIAPK (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgener, Queer, Pansexual, Intersexed, Asexual, Pansexual, Kink) Delegation of Students Living on Campus for Safer Spaces and Healthier Eating Options (LGBTQIAPK-DSLCSSHEO) would like to posit that we only offer quinoa, almonds, and lentils as the cafeteria’s protein options, in light of the fact that seitan and tempeh are grown more internationally, and that we can’t be sure that we’re keeping our institutional carbon footprint at acceptable levels if we import seitan and tempeh.”

The class president scoffed and said: “Excuse me, but last week’s referendum was on precisely this issue, and we voted it down, 5-4 against.” She adjusted her glasses and brushed back her hair behind her ear with one finger.

Sensing either a lull in the conversation, or that if she didn’t butt in now the issue would never be heard, Elizabeth stood up and raised one hand, to which every member of the senate, the LGBTQIAPK+-DSLCSSHEO, the local DSA (Democratic Socialists of America) student union, the student Democratic Party, and the HHWOIB (Hula-Hoopers Without Ideological Boundaries), and the rest of the student body in attendance of the meeting who wasn’t part of Elizabeth and Sasha’s mob, or any other affiliated group, all scoffed at the very notion of something as childish as raising one’s hand, because anyone without a social life (which they assumed was everyone present, seeing as how they each assumed everyone else in the room, given that it was thursday at 5:35 PM, and most students on campus didn’t have classes on friday, which made it the university’s campus wide ‘Thursty [sic] Thursday’) was enough of a nerd, geek, or an outright Poindexter to know the basics of parliamentary procedure re. the fact that one never ever actually does something so blatant, obvious, and childish as raise one’s hand, but rather, intimates through a precise and scheming series of influence building tactics and other machiavellianisms to simply ‘make it known’ that one’s intention at present was to speak, and somehow simply command the attention of the room via psychic will towards one’s self and simply begin to speak. But Elizabeth was about to turn everything these coddled prep-school snowflake cucks had ever known about being a coddled prep-school snowflake cuck on its egg-shaped head.

“Excuse me.” Elizabeth said, raising her hand higher in that ‘I have to pee and I am a small child’ foot stepping pattern many people grow out of very shortly after they hit middle school. “Excuse me!” she shouted.

Class president Harper Graves leaned forward, smiled, and said into the microphone: “Yassss?” At which point the rest of student senate, the LGBTQIAPK-DSLCSSHEO, the local DSA, the student Democratic Party, and the HHWOIB started laughing, although a large contingent of those laughing were actually ‘whoop-whoop’ing, and the HHWOIB were laughing so hard that their internal somatic rhythms had taken over, and they’d started to swing their hips in the circular motions they subconsciously made after months of continuous daily ideology-free 8-hour-marathon-hula-hoop sessions. The only people in the room not laughing were Elizabeth, Sasha Stilton-Brown, and the 99 pissed off students they came in with standing behind them. In fact, Elizabeth and her mob stood stone faced and silent with their arms crossed.

“A student was murdered, and you’re all standing here arguing over tofu!?” Elizabeth shouted over the din. Some of the students were still wiping the tears of laughter from their eyes over Elizabeth’s ignorance of parliamentary procedure politics, but by the time they’d made sense of her words and understood what she was actually saying, the jollity of the room’s atmosphere had come to a grinding halt. “A trans woman’s mutilated corpse was found in a ditch, and we’ve done NOTHING to make this a more inclusive, just, and ultimately safer space in the aftermath of this tragedy!” Her words pierced their bleeding hearts and shot straight through. They all considered themselves trans allies, but in that moment of shining didacticism on the hill, the kids had just been forced to put their money where their ideological mouths were.

Senate president Harper Graves sighed. “If you want to raise the issue, file a motion, and we’ll vote on it at the next week’s meeting.”

Elizabeth walked up to the row of desks to the side of the podium and addressed president Harper Graves. “God damnit!” She shouted, slamming her fist down onto the desk, “We don’t have time to wait until the next meeting! Something needs to be done right now, and we need action!”

There was a clamorous chatter of speculation which broke out about the room: voices conferred with one another in private spaces as to what should be done, and Elizabeth’s spine snapped to attention. She realized that this was her moment, so standing at the head of the room, she climbed up onto the table where four of the nine senate members were sitting, and kicked a pile of papers into the air. A black curtain of silence fell over the room, and all eyes were on her.

Had Elizabeth known what the consequences of her actions would be, she might not have been so bold: so hasty: so… courageous! “All in favor of suspending this farce of the student senate, and transfering all the rights and powers of the governing body to a single leader…” She asked the room, looked directly into senate president Harper’s eyes and said: “raise your hand.” 

Sasha Stilton-Brown was the first to raise her hand, but she looked around the room first, and did it slowly. Elizabeth thought she was doing this not to appear like a blind follower, but Sasha understood well the gravity of the situation. Then, more and more hands started crawling up towards the ceiling, until a forest of men and women’s hands interspersed with different colors of nail polish (on both sexes, genders, and every combination of both) shot up about the room like a treetop canopy with pit-stained roots unifying every race, expression of gender, sexual orientation, and all variety of college campus liberalism

“Those in favor of immediately electing a new leader: keep your hands raised.” Elizabeth said, and nobody moved a muscle. It was parliamentary insurrection, and you could hear individual drops of sweat hit the floor.

Elizabeth looked around the room. Drenched in flop sweat, her hair frizzy in the heat. Harper Graves scrambled back up onto her podium and announced: “I nominate myself!”

“All who second the motion?” Elizabeth asked the room, and everyone looked around as if to check that there were no other aspersions: that they had all made the right choice. None of them cast a single vote for sweaty Harper Graves, not even her co-senators. Caesar’s murder was being committed right before their eyes, and everyone in the packed house just sat back and watched.

Knowing to quit when she was ahead, Elizabeth surveyed the room and savored the moment. “Motion passed. The chair recognizes Elizabeth Psomas as new Senate President. Meeting Adjourned. We’ll be holding the next meeting on Tuesday in the quadrangle.”

Some brave, slack jawed moron with an IQ of 120 (which wasn’t really a fair measure of intellect, they all acknowledged, given that the IQ test is notoriously biased towards white European males, but it was the closest thing they had for an intellectual yardstick, aside from SAT scores, which were their own sociopolitical minefield) had the balls (or whatever passed for ‘balls’ around these people) to ask: “What’s a quadrangle?”

“The fucking quad!” Sasha Stilton-Brown shouted, and they all left the room, shaking their heads at their compatriot’s ignorance: a sign of what was to come.

On Tuesday at 8:00 PM, just after the dining commons had closed they gathered on the quad. All the walkways and public areas had been brightly lit at night ever since the series of sexual assaults and brutal rapes had plagued the campus almost a decade ago. The Dean had managed to keep all incidents out of the papers, which was the only reason the college was still standing. But everything was about to change.

“Friends, Romans, country-people of varying ethnicities and gender identities: take back your campus. Take back your safety. Take back your rights!” Elizabeth shouted into the bullhorn, and the hundreds of students all holding hand-painted signs and their smartphones like torches in the night roared. 

Dean Whimple was watching from his office. He called the head of campus security: ‘officer’ (although he held no legal position whatsoever) Erik Goon. “Goon! We’ve got an insurrection!” The dean said, sweating into his suit as he listened in on the other end of the line. “It means get the fuck down here and break this shit up, god dammit! If we don’t get in there soon it’ll be all our asses!” He pinched the bridge of his nose and heaved a sigh. “And Goon: for the love of god, don’t use force! The last thing we want is some legacy kid getting pepper sprayed, or god forbid, tazed, then they record it on their phone and it’s all over cable news for the next month!” Dean Whimple hung up to call the national guard, but then thought better of it. ‘No, Goon can handle it, and if Goon can’t fix it I may as well just resign right now!’

The Goon Squad reached the quad as fast as their Segways could carry them, and although they had been instructed explicitly by Dean Whimple to show restraint, they all had itchy trigger fingers, which a constant schedule of working out and mentally preparing oneself to beat the living shit out of some stuck-up rich kid who was just about to go off and make at least five, probably more like ten times your annual salary tends to do. Living their lives in a constant state of preparing for war had made the Goon squad ready to use deadly force, not to mention the pent-up homosexuality of spotting each other for all those sweaty, grunting reps in the weight room and the way the students segregated them in their own space, treating the campus security like some sort of crew-cut gestapo, or neon jerseyed SS.

Erik Goon screeched his segway to a halting stop in front of the quad and addressed the mob. “Disperse! Leave the premises and go back to your dorms!”

Elizabeth had worked too hard, and fought too long (since last Tuesday) to give in now. She commanded her army with the implicit epithet she knew would set their revolutionary blood ablaze: “No Nazis, No KKK, No Fascist USA!” She shouted from the center of the mob into her bullhorn, and they all started chanting the words in unison. Each of her acolytes’ warm bodies formed a protective cocoon to guard Elizabeth against campus security. She knew that if the authorities could cut off the head, then her movement would die, but if all they could do was to wound the flesh, then she could survive any challenge the administration had to offer. Sasha was right there with her, and she enticed the crowd to fervor, repeating Elizabeth’s chant: “No Nazis, No KKK, No Fascist USA!”. They locked arms around the edge of the mob so that even if a student on the outer ring should be tazed (which they were), or pepper-sprayed (which they were), a student being held up by all the social justice warriors around them would have no choice but to remain ramrod still and endure the abuse.

The crowd started to chant “We Shall Overcome” when the tasers and pepper spray started to become too much, and they seemed newly resolved, and to Goon’s eyes, totally impenetrable. Then a nameless voice shouted out from the back: “Fuck the fascists: resist!”

They broke ranks and started to overrun campus security. The mob was armed with lighters and cans of air-duster they turned into blowtorches, and students on the outside stood with three ring binders they held onto as shields interlocking in a phalanx, while their compatriots stood behind them and swung down on the Goon Squad using socks with locks in them.

Assistant head of security Mike Felcher turned to Officer Goon and said: “We’re fucked! Let’s go.” and Goon tried to marshal his troops but it was futile, and they all hopped on their Segways and rode away as fast as possible, fearing what might happen if the mob were to overpower them.

The revolutionaries stayed on the quad all through the night, and feeling a strong sense of comradery the next morning everybody went to breakfast together, commandeering an entire section of the cafeteria for themselves. Elizabeth and Sasha at this point saw fit to expand the rights and privileges of the student senate to overtake the position of the actual administration of the college, in the name of protecting the student body, which was the whole reason they’d started this thing in the first place: to make sure that none of them would ever again be made into a Sarah Cohn, or abused, offended, or upset in any other way, even if it was just the lack of a trigger warning or exposed to an idea which they felt triggered them in some way.

“We’ve got to strike while the iron’s hot!” Elizabeth said to Sasha, who this point was not lost on.

“Do you realize, that if we’d been in this position in our parent’s generation, we’d be looked at either as revolutionaries or radicals?” Sasha said, and Elizabeth thought she had a good point.

Elizabeth drank her coffee with a snowflake pattern stenciled in milk on the surface out of an avocado, and as she drank from the avocado, watching the snowflake slowly melt into the coffee, then dissolve into nothing, an enormous dam of rage that had been building up inside her finally burst. She stood up from the table realizing she just couldn’t take the oppression anymore.

“AAAHHHHHHHHH-TRIGGERRR-WARRR-NINGGGGGGG!!!” She screamed, and flipped her tray all over some freshman, covering him in a green slurry of avocado mixed with scalding hot coffee. He ran out of the cafeteria screaming, and covered with third degree burns, but nobody got up to help him or even gave it a second thought, because they thought he was a white, cisgendered male, but was in reality a somewhat butchy African American lesbian with albinism.

“Are you OK!?” Sasha asked her, terrified of what had happened to her best friend.

Elizabeth turned to her, and shouted: “STOP TRYING TO GASLIGHT ME: I’M NOT CRAZY, AND I’LL ASK FOR HELP WHEN I NEED IT!” And upon hearing this the acolytes descended on Sasha and dragged her off to some gulag of their own invention, because Elizabeth couldn’t be bothered to keep track of these things and she realized it was better not to ask such questions. 

“I’m calling an emergency meeting to order in the student senate right now!” Elizabeth shouted as she stormed up Appian Way to the Curia with her mob following closely behind her. They filed one by one in a purposefully random order into the student senate room so that nobody could say any one race, gender, gender identity, or sexual preference was privileged above another.

Once inside the student senate room everyone was too terrified of Elizabeth to address her directly, and much more afraid of each other should any one of them be seen to speak out of turn or break ranks, so they all just stayed, inspecting one another for any sort of ideological deficiencies, making sure to complement each other on anything they could determine as sufficiently breaking with traditional gender roles, racial stereotypes, and the like. All the cisgender white men had started wearing dresses over their jeans, painting their nails, and smearing so much makeup all over their faces that they looked like clowns.

“We’re going down to the dean’s office with our list of demands!” Elizabeth shouted. None of them had taken the time to write anything down or hash any of their ideas out, but they knew what they all wanted in a general way: something about some transgender-something, or something-something. It didn’t matter anymore.

Dean Whimple watched as the mob stormed up Appian Way towards his office, and they could swear they saw his Adam’s apple expand and contract in a very visible ‘gulp’ motion from outside the building on street level. The mob took to the stairs, seeing as how only a small platoon among their swelling ranks would fit into an elevator, and Elizabeth said that if they just showed up one elevator load at a time it didn’t have the same impact, not in a ‘revolutionary-change-type-way’, so they took the stairs. By the time they reached the eighth floor where the Dean’s office was, Elizabeth and the mob had become wily and primal. Something essentially human had left them and whatever was left of them when they got to the eighth floor was just animalistic urge and the bloodlust that drove them forward.

Finally she could see it. All of her sacrifice and effort since last Tuesday: nine long days of oppression in the free-wifi-all-you-can-eat-three-times-a-day-with-two-snacks-in-between gulag, and the constant threat that if she happened to be trans (which she wasn’t, but that was besides the point) that she could be murdered at any point in time was all worth it! Elizabeth approached the door with the words: “RICHARD WHIMPLE, DEAN OF STUDENTS”, stenciled on the pebbled glass. Elizabeth inched closer and closer to the door; justice, honor, and most importantly safety was finally within arm’s reach! Never again would anything bad ever happen to her or any of her beloved classmates. The world would truly be a Utopia, if only the rest of the world could enjoy the same unending rights and infinite privileges that she would soon secure for herself and the rest of the student body! But this was only the first stop! First ----- University, then: The World! Elizabeth reached out to touch the handle of the Dean’s office, but something was terribly wrong! There were shadowy figures looming behind the door’s translucent glass, and something much more dangerous than just one more cisgendered patriarchal male oppressor was lying in wait behind that door.

Then the face Elizabeth thought she’d never see again appeared before her: the best friend, closest ally, and dark confidant: Sasha Stilton-Brown, appeared before her. Confused, terrified, and trembling away from the door, Elizabeth was thrust back into the blinding light of her ex-best-friend’s glare. The subtle manipulations, the Stalinist realpolitik, it was all a clever plot to undermine Elizabeth’s authority, and transfer all of her power, bit by bit, one pernicious deed after the next, until her ‘best friend’s’ authority had finally eroded out from underneath her, leaving her dangling from a precarious ledge, and this was the final push over the cliff’s edge.

“You knew it was going to end like this.” Sasha said as she opened the door, pushed Elizabeth into the dean’s office, and slammed the door shut behind her. 

Elizabeth screamed: “TRIGGER WARNING!” as Sasha Stilton-Brown and her classmates stood outside the room, and saw the muzzle flashes light up the dean’s office. They smelled the burnt air of the gunfire. They all pressed their backs to the wall opposite, blood running out from under the door to the dean’s office and into the hallway.