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takemetoafaroffland · 10 months

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I can still hear you saying... (Part 9)

For so long I listened to it and would space out as you came up to the front, asking to drive so that I could relax for a bit.

You always got flustered when I couldn't remember the name of it.

Your voice was music to my ears, anytime you would sigh or laugh made me feel happy that you were there with me.

Then I took you for granted for a while, and when I pulled my head out of my ass you immediately forgave me.

You were always so sweet on me.

I miss your warmth, even if you weren't physically near me, just your voice soothed me. I miss how excited you were to meet others, how easy it was for you to talk to others.

.

I miss you, James.

Photo Credit: zoey_miranda

#takemetoafaroffland #Part 9 #art #poetry #creative writing #headspace #mental health #isolation #lonliness #lonley #solitude #fleetwood mac #the chains #if you don't love me now #You will never love me again #please come back

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months

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Hey now, Let her cook!

#dungeon meshi #chilchuck tims #senshi #laios touden #marcille donato #izutsumi #oyasumi punpun #<- In case you are wondering what the source for the little bird guy is.#Yeah that's right. I'm back to my extremely obscure crossover BS.#Punpun is one of those series that falls under the category of 'Good! but I cannot responsibly recommend this to anyone."#If Dungeon Meshi is like a friend asking you to go on a quick errand and you accidently go on a life changing roadtrip -#Punpun is your friend asking to go on a quick errand and they pull up to the vet and tell you your dog is being put down.#Then they explode into sludge. Melting your car. You hitchhike back but the person who picked you up is an axe murderer.#I could not finish it. My friends who did say it was good. But agree it was for the best I did not finish it.#Hey speaking of tone twists...We are one episode away from one of my favourite chapters being animated!#WHO'S READY FOR THE SENSHI BACKSTORY! WHO IS READY TO CRY!#ME! I AM! I spooked my flatmate with how energetic I was this morning. I'm vibrating with energy I was not designed to contain.#I should talk about today's episode here: It was very good. I love how they animated the familiars.#And!!! Anime only people now are in the loop on the Chilchuck lore. Part 1 of many. He still contains multitudes.#They all do to be honest! If this episode told us anything it was that we still don't know these characters as well as we think!#See you guys next week. I'll be inconsolable.

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brainrotcharacters · 1 month

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the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.

#i can't believe i'm saying this #DEADPOOL CAN GET IT #Logan I'm sobbing I understand why you lunged at him #I would too bestie #it's the sass for me folks #paint that car white as much as they painted it red my god #a deadpool thirst post? from me? more likely than you'd think #this is a branch in realities i know it #i've never had Feelings for this motherfucker until this movie #all i'm left with is anger now because WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME #camera crew could have just made it landscape but noooooo they had to do a medium shot of this son of a bitch #i'm sending an especially affectionate fuck you in ryan reynolds' direction #i love how you love deadpool #deadpool #wolverine #deadpool and wolverine #wade wilson #logan howlett #poolverine #deadclaws #don't get me wrong i've always adored deadpool's personality. nobody's that hilarious and not have humongous balls i mean trauma.#but i've never went 'why he kinda' until this specific shot right here #@ camera crew why the fuck did you zoom in? WHY?#for me? well it's infuriating #do it again #gif is credit to the owner #30 tags aren't enough for me to dismantle how this shot made me feel. tumblr you gotta update #damn tumblr i'm tryna feed a village here #guys just find my other post

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golyadkin · 8 months

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it's because i wouldn't let you kill the bounty hunter isn't it

#he's so mean 2 me #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #bg3 tav #these files were titled 'asstarion' on my computer #that'll show him #managed to redress my finger so i can draw #but seeing as this is my first time drawing asstarion i'm not gonna go full lineart and colour #it was fun though he's got a great face #hate drawing his hair though #sorry you don't want to fuck me astarion #sorry you don't have good taste 😤#also i gave my tav pure black eyes and now every time he frowns it looks like he's got these big puppydog eyes i love him so much

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muppetfreak · 9 months

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Mr. Riordan, it is truly a pleasure getting to experience your second draft.

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giantkillerjack · 1 year

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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zosanbrainrot · 6 months

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part 2 of Zoro in WCI

01 02 03 04 05 06

I tried to write something to sum up my thoughts on this, but then it got longer and longer and tbh I'm itching to write a fic set in this AU djjdkf I think I could develop on their inner feelings more than in the comic form

Before posting the first part I didn't realize people had such strong opinions on how this would play out lmaooo

imo, of course Zoro wants to fight Sanji, not with actual intent to harm (they threaten each other on the daily, come on), but because that's how they are together, how they communicate. He respects Luffy's decisions and their goal here, which is to learn what's really going on with Sanji, but he's gonna be pissy about it all he wants. They both have so many intense and conflicted feelings about this and neither has any idea how to resolve them. So they fight.

ofc yall are free to headcanon this interaction any other way you want <333

#hope you can hear the moment Sanji's heart shatters #you're walking the painful path you chose and then even this stupid marimo instead of playing your usual game of threats and violence #instead of making this easier for you he pierces right through your heart with the tiniest confession #I never hated you #but even if he didn't use to #he sure as hell despises every inch of you now #he must he has to #but this is what you chose #it is what you deserve #ANGST #PAIN #wci zoro au #obvi if I were to write it wouldnt write first person this just got out of hand #i love angst can you tell #zosan #i love keeping them in the 'what if maybe no he would never' hell #roronoa “i love you but I will take these feelings with me to the grave” zoro #blackleg “I need you to hate me because I simply don't deserve to be loved” sanji #rorona zoro #black leg sanji #sanji #zoro #my art #whole cake arc #whole cake island #one piece #one piece fanart

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 1 year

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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

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lotus-pear · 2 months

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mourning black and the death of ideals

#i haven't moved on from this yet. btw. i'm still here #finally decided to draw the thought i've been ruminating over for days on end bc it's like a parasite eating away my brain #stated this on the initial post i made days ago but there's just smt so gut wrenching and sickening #about how dazai will have worn black exactly twice in his life: once as a member of the mafia and now at kunikida's funeral #a color that initially signified devotion to the mafia and his demon prodigy alias now signifies his grief #him having to wear black again at the funeral of another doomed fatalist who chose his heart over his survival. his own partner.#kunikida's death being so reminiscent of the tragedy that initially caused him to defect and flee #and everything tying together full circle and effectively breaking him #asagiri rly said fuck knkdz it's doppover we lost gang 😭😭😭#why did bro leave that fucking notebook behind #fool. do you know that angst potential you have left me to work with?#love never won in bsd. it lay dead and festering #i don't know how much longer i can keep saying i miss them. i'm going to kill myself if he doesn't come back #i've never wanted something to be death bait so desperately #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #kunikidazai #knkdz #kunizai #(??? technically. its implied anyway)#lotus draws

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deathricedrawn · 2 months

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i'm ready to try

#This drawing is kind of personal to me #I recently graduated (CUM LAUDE WOOOO!!!!) and its like. not to get depressing #but when i was younger i was never sure whether i would make it to this point #When i was going through what i consider to still be like. the worst time of my entire life #This fictional character was there for me and she was something for me to latch onto and cope with #eGem helped me a lot with being able to process my emotions at the time but also helped me to reflect on myself #which i think is a big reason as to why I'm really happy with where i am with myself right now #I'm going off to uni next school year to study astronomy!!! which!!!#Im also doing because of eGem!!! She ignited this kind of childlike wonder for space for me #I love doing math and physics and whilst Im still a bit scared because. honestly i don't know whether this is what i want to do with my lif #I think i'll be okay either way #either way i wanted to draw egem again even if i haven't done so in a while because its like #i think i wouldnt be who i am without her. i think i'd be a lot worse off #so like. thank you empires smp thank you geminitay thank you egem This drawing is me expressing my gratitude #AND THANK YOU AUTISM!#empires smp #empires smp s1 #empiresblr #esmp #geminitay #art #fanart #alice.art #mcyt #mcytblr #song is andromeda by weyes blood... obv.. you guys know me by now :oP

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egophiliac · 10 months

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I have SO many thoughts about everything and they are in no kind of order yet, so here's just some quick little bits in the meantime!

I am not normal about any of these characters!

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers #me just staring at the ceiling thinking about anime characters #if i start talking about the big stuff now it's going to turn into a huge rambling mess so in the meantime #i did not get sebek (yet) (i need to contemplate my gems...) but i did see his groovy #he is just full-on cinderella-sparkles bibbidi-bobbidi-booing into that armor! magnificent.#and i really don't have enough words for how much i love tiny malleus. he is perfect. he is precious. he is everything to me.#he knows who his dad is no matter what some crusty dead talking ectoplasm blobs say #(man no wonder lilia's got hangups if THAT was the general attitude he was getting)#('eww you got your dirty bat cooties on the prince' go sit in the corner with mrs. rosehearts you absolute garbage)#(...i did kind of love that lilia started to wake up because the senate said one nice thing to him)#(and he immediately was like 'this is not reality')#(sounds about right)#on a lighter note i was just. SO charmed by the little throwaway about ✨dragon lord consort esteemed diplomat revaan✨#who picks the vegetables out of his food and hides them under the tablecloth #everything i learn about this man makes me like him more. he was SO dumb.#now we know where malleus gets it from i guess #also unrelated but once again the fact that i named my mc tamago has had unintentional consequences #tamago take the tamago and tamago tamagao tamago #frikkin love that when yuu gives the egg back you can just be like 'i love him. this is my baby now.' 100% accurate.#also yuu continually referring to malleus as tsunotarou even to the senate = amazing. yuu really has NO self-preservation or awareness.#they fit right in with everyone else #<- see what did i tell you. huge rambling mess.#and i haven't even BEGUN to talk about MELEANOR -- (is dragged offstage by a hook)

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technically-human · 22 days

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Hey, don't cry. Ghost yuri, okay?

(Now that you know the girls, they need to meet the boys!)

#payneland #edwin x charles #dead boy detectives #dbda #fem payneland #although technically as everyone is the opposite gender their last names should be different #OKAY you know the drill u get fanart and i get to ramble about it #Edith wears pants now #this pains me because i love drawing skirts but after she escaped hell #she met charlotte who made an offhand comment about how it's easier to move with pants #and edith who just spent 70 years running in hell went wait a tick #she feels safer that way is what i'm saying #interesting because as you can see she wore a skirt to confess and we know how THAT went but anyway #charlotte's mom was abusive of course #and she forced her to practice ballet despite charlotte being interested in a lot of other sports #she did fairly well at ballet but this means no cricket bat :(#i know we all love butch fem charles but as he's mostly gender conforming i decided to not do that #no reason for the bracelets but as i wanted to give her a choker i thought they would combine with the earrings #crystal is still crystal because his parents are weird artists who like stupid names #niko though... i don't know what to name him #dead girl detectives

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christadeguchi · 6 months

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you think YOU had a bad day at work?

bonus: sid shrieking "no!!!! NO!!!!!" loud enough to be heard in the stands and on camera

#this is now my FAVOURITE game i've watched in real life knocking the game misconduct one off the number one rank #he was so annoyed the entire game and so annoying about it :')#he kept shrieking away on the bench and i couldn't hear a word from where i was seated #but you could just hear this constant yipping away dhfsgfkjshgfsjf PLEASE it was so funny your 36-year-old babygirl was BARKING #drew kept sitting there like... is mom okay... i don't think mom's okay...#also extremely good for me (since he wasn't really hurt) was the whumpfest of it all oh my god what ancient gods did he anger.........#geno kept Hovering in concern #po kept giving him little shoulder pats the way a sweet brave babyboy would try his best to soothe a rabid little dog #ek of course kept trying to slide right inside him and also kept skating up to him and STARING him in the face in concern/lust/both #also guys this is my first time in canada ever!!!!!!!! i'm excited #anyway. very good game for me sorry for this post but you know i love a #long post #sidney crosby #evgeni malkin #pittsburgh penguins #also!!! to all who celebrate #ramadan kareem/eid mubarak #<333 staying with a friend here through the eid celebration and they've been cooking and everything smells so good

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thenearsightedmicroraptor · 2 years

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Seen a lot of posts about people coming into your notifications out of nothing and liking your entire blog, but here's a shoutout to the people who do Not follow you, who appear out of nowhere, reblog One (1) post that you are Not the op of, and then you never see them again. Where did you come from girl.

#EDITED bc I think this one goes on ppls recommended pages now #HEY GUYS the question in this post is rhetorical ! i don't actually care. you can stop telling me honeys its ok #i like the mystery. i don't needta know everything #also when i say shoutout. i mean it. i love you guys i am not annoyed. you're all wonderful. keep doing you.#posts by ME #tumblr #like ... you didn't find the post thru tags because I just reblogged it #i made no addition. how did you find me #be free you majestic creatures I'm glad I got to witness you in passing #how tf tho.#did you look at my blog but only one post made the cut. amazing. i love you.

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corpsentry · 3 months

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