#if you haven't seen those two posts I recommend going through the notes of them hihiii

[katinkulta]

2023 Tumblr Top 10

1. 282 notes - Aug 10 2023

Inspired by this post by @rainbowywitch What does Finnish sound like to y'all out there who don't speak Finnish, but has been...

2. 221 notes - Jul 23 2023

3. 210 notes - Oct 26 2023

Q:

4. 190 notes - Jul 24 2023

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8. 159 notes - Nov 3 2023

9. 142 notes - Sep 10 2023

Don't forget the original

10. 142 notes - Aug 24 2023

Created by TumblrTop10

[maleyanderecafe]

Love, Sam (Game)

Created by: Korean Linguistics Lab

Genre: Horror

This one is a bit of an old game so you might have seen youtubers and other streamers play it, but I haven't until now so that's why this post is here. It is a very good short game about a story of an obsessive yandere where things are not how they seem. I would recommend watching or playing this game before I go in and spoil the entire thing. As a horror game, does include things like jump scares and loud noises so do be warned.

The story is mostly focused inside a single apartment. The player reads through a diary of someone who is trying to let go of their crush, with papers of the diary written inside of them, all with the ending signature, Love, Sam. The entries recount their crush on another student named Brian, a jock at the high school. As the story goes on the player faces various hallucinations of things moving and destroying their house, coming through the windows, lights turning off suddenly all in relation with the various events happening in the diary. Eventually as the story goes on, we come to realize that the character "Sam" is not actually the one who is the player character but rather another named Kyle, who is deeply in love with Brian.

The story of Kyle and Sam are written in parallel with each other so that you mistakenly believe that they are both written by Sam. Kyle's diary starts with him recounting all of the things that he and B do together, going to various places in town and how much he loves him. Between those pages are pages from Sam's diary, about her moving to a new town and trying to make friends, being annoyed by Stacy and Kyle, the mean girl and the mean jock respectively before eventually meeting another jock named Brian. Brian takes a liking to Sam and shows her around town, eventually leading to Sam developing a strong crush on him. Kyle gets jealous and joins Stacy on getting Sam drunk during a party she's attending but Brian is able to save her from it, instead bringing her to a secluded hill area, something that Kyle eventually gets angry for as he believed that it was a special place for just him and Brian. Kyle, extremely bitter of Sam's appearance in their lives proceeds to team up with Stacy to frame Sam, by taking pictures of Brian in various locations to put in Sam's locker, drawing hearts everywhere and writing notes to make it seem like she's a huge stalker. He even has Stacy dredge up Sam's past about her dad who was a pedophile, something that Sam was desperately trying to run away from. At some point though, Stacy starts to see Kyle's obsessive behavior as too much ,even believing that he's doing this to be with Sam. In the end, she ends up telling Brian what Kyle did, leading to Kyle desperately trying to get him back. Full of rage, he blames everything on Sam, and forges a note to have them meet on the hill. Kyle ends up pushing Sam off of it (whether or not on purpose or not) and then burns all of the items she had on her to prevent the police from finding out it was a murder. We also find out that Brian ends up leaving town, much to Kyle's detriment.

There are three endings to the game. One where he refuses to throw away his diary, leading to him staying in the infinite guilt he has, forced to relieve the events of the game over and over again. One where he burns the notebook and proceeds to die in the fire and finally one where he burns the notebook but confesses to the police about the murder, never able to confess to Brian.

Love, Sam does a really good job of fooling the player into thinking that they are actually Sam with the way that the two different diaries parallel each other but there are some giveaways to the fact that they actually are two different people before the ultimate reveal. The easiest is likely the clothes and the general living space as it is (at least from what I can tell in media) a lot more stereotypical of a guy, with the clothes being more masculine. There's also the fact that the two diaries have a different writing styles, with Sam's notes always signing "Love, Sam" at the end along with the fact that she often writes in the third person, and Kyle's diary never mentioning his own name and writing in the first person. Even the fact that the pages are separate from Kyle's diary are a good indication that they aren't from the same writer. Finally, is the nickname that Kyle has for Brian, "B" which Sam never calls him. There are the small details you might find strange if you didn't know what the twist might have been. Even if you do know the twist though, I think it's really interesting seeing how everything does come to play- like what Sam's actual deal is and how the other characters are interacting with it all. The fact that the two different diaries also parallel each other is also very interesting though, as it shows that they actually are not as different as you might think they are, with various actions or events paralleling each other as well.

I'm not really used to playing a lot of horror based games but this one was very fun to play and it does honestly make me want to look more for these games (it's a nice change from visual novels, that's for sure). The way that the player has to mess around with the room while the story goes on really showcases how Kyle is feeling in these different situations, either with the various scares from Sam's death haunting him, to the various events of happiness when he goes to take pictures of Brian that end up used to frame Sam, though still set in the showcase of horror. It really heightens his obsessive feelings towards Brian and the other characters as it goes on. It's able to use the room that Kyle is in so that you're not always stuck reading, and that you feel more sucked into the game as you go on.

Kyle as a yandere is a character that is someone who is very self deprecating and worships Brian to a strong level. You can tell that it's part of the fact that he's gay (he literally has to hide and come out of the closet multiple times in the game) and the fact that the town seems to be very closed off to anything that's outsider, as exemplified with Sam's journey as she's moved in. To him, there's not really any way out- he's afraid that Brian will reject him and even if that doesn't turn out disastrously, Brian is still attempting to leave town, so Kyle himself will be stuck without anyone he really cares about. He gets extremely jealous when Brian brings Sam around the places that the two hang out (whether it's out of romantic feels or simply because Brian is a nice person is never really explicitly stated) which causes Kyle to get revenge on her. Kyle is just so scared of him finding out that he's basically trapped himself, which is pretty symbolic of the room that we never seem to be able to escape from. There isn't any way out for him, unless he either dies or reveals his guilt- and even in that ending, Kyle likely never sees Brian again much less tells him what his true feelings were. You do feel sympathetic for him as he unravels, eventually leading to the death of Sam, and even he himself seems to be trying to figure out if he can really let go or not. In terms of yandere actions, of course there's the obvious obsessiveness- pretty much his entire diary is about Brian and his feelings towards him, his envy which drives him to stalk and take pictures of Brian, write letters, sabotaging Sam by writing their initials all over school and of course at the end of the game, going to kill her, even if it was possibly by accident. As per usual, I always find games that are done in the yandere's point of view are incredibly interesting because I love seeing the spiral and thought process of the yandere- why they do the things they do, how they justify it, and the kind of obsessive love that they have for their lover. It's always really nice to be able to see those kinds of games.

Overall, I really enjoyed playing this game. As I said for me, it was a nice break from visual novels and the way that the story played out was very engaging and interesting. I hope I get to play different games like this. If you are interested, please try the game out, it is very good.

[powdermelonkeg]

I've seen some Reddit refugee PSAs going around, so I thought I'd contribute a few tips of my own that I haven't seen covered:

If you go to the original iteration of your post (not any subsequent reblogs, your ORIGINAL post) you can delete any comments you don't like. This does not apply to text added by reblog, only to the message bubble section.

Ublock Origin has trouble figuring out which parts of desktop to get rid of. If you want to delete a certain element (for example, the store widget), and your usual method isn't working, what you want to do is: - Right-click - Inspect Element/Inspect (Q) - Look at the thing that's highlighted, then go all the way up until you hit the nearest "div = class" marker - Right-click - Hover over "Copy," then pick "CSS Selector" - Click your Ublock extension icon - Click the gears - Find a blank space on the list that pops up and type "www.tumblr.com##" without the quotes - Paste whatever you copied with CSS Selector after that, with no space between it and the ## - Click "Apply changes"

You can hide your follower lists and liked lists. This is actively encouraged. Desktop solution: - Account (the person icon in the corner) - Scroll down until you find your blog name and click "Blog Settings" - Scroll through the page that pops up until you find "Share posts you like" and "Share the Tumblrs you're following" and toggle them off. This is the 3rd and 4th section of that page for me, respectively Mobile solution: - Your blog (the person icon in the bottom right corner) - Settings (gear in the top right corner) - Scroll down to "Pages" - Toggle "Likes" and "Following"

Desktop only: Left your Tumblr logged in on someone else's phone/computer? Worried about account security? No problem! - Account (the person icon in the corner) - Settings (NOT Blog Settings. Just Settings. It has a gear icon) - Scroll all the way to the bottom - You have a list of any logins that have happened on your account. They come with the IP addresses used to access it. It tells you where it happened, and from what operating system. Deleting those with the X next to the listing logs that iteration out. If you have any on that list that you DON'T recognize, I recommend logging them out and changing your password. Note: It says the list is only for the past 30 days. This is a lie. I have some that date back over a year.

Desktop only: You can make gradient text in your posts by following these instructions.

If your post has been blowing up and you're sick of the notifications, deleting the original post will delete its notes from your activity. THIS CANNOT BE UNDONE. If you would still like to check on the post, just not have it in your activity, reblog it before deleting it. You can continue to check the notes tab from the reblog while the original is gone.

It is common etiquette to tag spoilers for new games/shows/etc (ie, released in the last two months) as #[insert fandom here] spoilers, sensitive subjects as #[insert sensitive topic] tw, and long posts as #long post. Yes, even if you have a readmore (which you can add by clicking the weird squiggly line when you start a new block).

There is a bug on desktop involving readmore lines. Whenever you go back to edit a post that has a readmore in it, it moves the readmore down by one block. Make sure you move it back into its proper place each time by clicking and dragging.

You can click and drag different blocks of text to reorder them. Only regular blocks, though; not lists like this one. You can also do this with images you've inserted.

Desktop only: You can delete/remove tags/add tags en masse to posts using the Mass Post Editor. - Account (person icon in the corner) - Scroll down to your blog - Mass Post Editor - Select any posts in the grid you want. "Edit tags" is only for removing tags, you need "Add tags" to add more

Desktop only: You can see any blog's history of posts by typing in [blogname].tumblr.com/archive. The page that pops up looks very similar to the Mass Post Editor. You can filter posts on that blog by any of their most used tags, by month, or by post type. This is especially useful for locating pornbots. Some pornbots will try to legitimize their place by picking a random popular tag (for example, #horror) and reblogging the top 10-100 posts in that tag without commentary. See if they've been active for more than week with the archive month filter. Granted, the person may also be a new user, like yourself. It takes some deduction. But it's much easier to use the archive than it is to scroll through all of their posts until you hit the bottom.

Desktop only shortcuts: J = move down one post. Useful for scrolling fast or getting past a notoriously long post (as in "Do you like the color of the sky" and all its cousins) K = move up one post Shift + R = reblog a post. Does not add tags L = like a post C = create a new post (brings up options on what kind of post) . (period) = return to the top of the page Shift + Q = add a post to your queue. Does not add tags Shift + P = cycle through the color palette

[painted-bees]

I've been reading through your hi note posts gradually and just got finished with the long bit about how they met Cortes. There's a lot packed in there that made me squee and sob, but that little sentence or two of Raf recognizing that he'd have a hard time surviving without Margie hit real hard. I think it's because he also identified it as something he needs to work on instead of reflecting on it as a romantic trait.

I hope this next part of my ask isn't upsetting to you: it got me wondering if Raf is familiar with suicidal thoughts and feelings. I haven't seen it explicitly stated anywhere. You don't have to comment on that if it's too raw of a subject, though.

Mostly, I just wanted to tell you I really enjoy this story. The characters resonate a lot.

oh, damn--thank you!! It means a lot to me ; 0;♡

To answer your question, haha it's a topic I kinda...tiptoe around in general because it's a box of very delicate glassware that I don't really like directly handling, but

Raf wouldn't have described himself as suicidal, not at the time. There was never an active desire to carry out that kind of thing, but he -has- gone through periods in his life when he didn't want to be alive. The sort of "it'd be a huge relief if a bus sped along and smacked me out of existence today" kinda thinking. As well, he's done some kinda...lowkey fate-tempting, dice-rolly things...like take more of his anti anxiety or sleeping medication than is recommended, j-walking across genuinely dangerous roads, testing the structural integrity of certain makeshift/temporary structures as he passes them, etc. Just little things where it's like "haha, wouldn't it be funny if -this- is what ends me." General carelessness that wasn't performed out of ignorance but rather just to see 'what happens' whilst -also- knowing/feeling relatively assured that the odds are mostly in favor of 'nothing dramatic'.

He's mostly out of those woods, though. The worst of it, for sure, was during his time in university, and then again during the tail end+ of his relationship with Lacey. Even now, though, he only recognizes those behaviors as 'suicidal' because his therapist has taken care to make sure he -knows- that's what it is. But he himself is still unconvinced that it's really as serious as that. Ragardless, at present, he has absolutely no desire to tempt fate, and it's been a decent while since he has found himself imagining the peace and quiet that a high-speed train to the face would provide.

As his musings about Margie suggests, though, he knows he's still go a ways to go before he can stand on his own two legs and not over-rely on external factors/other people for his mental well being...But it's going. He's still kickin'. He's even having a good time of it, nowadays. It's getting better, and better, and he's really glad he's gotten this far. He's happy.

[hiddenendings]

i confuse instinct with desire - isn't bite also touch? (Blanktember Day 22)

A/N: This is meant for Day 22 of Blanktember and I just forgot when day I was supposed to upload it! I wrote this a very long time ago for @quicken-silver and I am now posting it here for you all to hopefully enjoy! If you haven't read "eat your heart out" yet then I HIGHLY recommend it. It's still a work-in-progress, but goddamn is it good. (As well as all of their other works. Go read them! Also, check out some art Ventigh did for this same AU for "eat your heart out" it's so good!! I took the title directly from their post, so, uh, hope you don't mind ventigh!!)

Summary: After a long separation, Ingo and Emmet, along with their deamons, have finally been reunited. Ingo wants Emmet to feel just how much they missed him.

[title and deamon names+AU inspired/taken from quickensilver's "eat your heart out"]

Notes: Post-PLA reuinon with the twins being in an established relationship before the separation. Deamons!AU

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50293963

                   Check out my writing commission info here!

                                          ***

[Setting: Quicken-Silver’s “eat your heart out” AU. Daemon!Blankshipping in Hisui with Emmet having found Ingo a few days ago and the two are now waiting for Akari/Rei to finish the Pokedex and go home. It is winter and Ingo, Emmet, and their Daemons are in Ingo's tent in the Highlands. It is night and a snowstorm has begun.]

Carefully shutting the door, Ingo made sure any seams were tightly sealed before he shook his head. "It looks like the storm might be worse than initially expected. It's possible we'll be here for a day or two until the cliffs are safe to travel again." Turning to look back at everyone, Ingo saw Sayoko and Jayla gleefully chasing each other around the tent and over furniture and causing a ruckus — not that Ingo could blame either of them. He hadn't seen Jayla so lively in years, although he supposed much could be said for himself as well. 

Thankfully all of their pokemon were resting in their pokeballs, not willing to deal with the cold. Much of the same could be said of his brother, who was sitting on the bed and whining loudly, “Why is it so cold! You said this was the Highlands, not the Icelands. I am Emmet and it is cold.”

“I told you it was still cold up in the mountains,” Ingo said, more amused than frustrated. It was so nice to see his baby brother squirming around on his bed and whining and complaining, playing up the act of brat even with flushed cheeks and breathless little giggles that slipped out between words. 

If he had any doubt of Emmet’s true good mood, they were wiped away as he saw Sayoko trill in delight, her and Jayla tumbling past in a mix of fur and feathers. 

“Big brother doesn’t care anymore,” Emmet ‘huffed,’ trying to hide his grin behind the Pearl Clan hoodie Ingo had given him to stay warm. There was something overwhelmingly nice about Emmet tucked away in Ingo’s clothing and Ingo’s bed and looking at him with those flustered cheeks and dazzling eyes. “He’s going to leave us to freeze, Sayoko!”

As if to spite him, Sayoko wiggled her way under Jayla, poking out from under warm fur and purring loud enough to drown out the howling winds outside. Ingo felt as if the snow and wind could never touch him again as his baby brother collapsed into giggles and shouted about his ‘traitorous daemon.’ 

Shaking his head, Ingo moved to tend to the fire. As reluctant as he was to look away from Emmet’s warmth and joy, he’d rather his baby brother stay warm. It would only get colder as the night went on, after all, and Emmet deserved to be comfortable and frankly, in Ingo’s opinion, pampered, after all he had gone through. 

Getting ready to stand back up, Ingo froze, almost literally, as two hands wiggled under his tunic and undershirt and pressed against the bare skin of his back. Really, they were less hands and more blocks of ice. “See! I told you it was cold, Ingo!” Oh, so baby brother wanted to play the brat, today, huh?

A quick tussle and Ingo managed to get Emmet pinned to the floor, unable to help the twitch of his lips as cackling laughs turned into a breathless whimper that sent Emmet’s cheeks flushing a beautiful pink. While Ingo had only intended to tease Emmet for just a while… it had been so long since he had seen Emmet pinned underneath him and squirming, cheeks flushed pink and giggles tumbling out of him as he cried up at him, “Big brother! You’re being verrry rude!” 

“Am I, now?” Ingo’s lips twitched as Emmet quieted down with a small whine, still squirming, but only in a way that drew him in closer, everything about him open and soft and willing- 

Ingo glanced up briefly to see Jayla had pinned Sayoko to the ground, paws on both of her wings and tongue lapping at the feathers around her neck. Sayoko was limp and content under her, trills as loud as Jayla’s purrs. At least he wasn’t the only one who had given in. 

“Big brother?” Sitting back, and delighting in the whimper that earned him as he pulled away, Ingo let Emmet pout for only a few moments before he was scooping his brother into his arms. A quick readjustment and they were sitting in front of the fireplace, Emmet melting into his arms. 

“My baby brother is cold, is he? I suppose I would be irresponsible if I didn’t correct the situation,” Ingo mused, tugging at Emmet’s arms and lifting them into the air until they were straight. Emmet made a questioning noise, starting to lower them before Ingo gripped him harder, something like a growl leaving his throat, “Stay.”

Emmet froze at the same time he went limp, his baby brother loose and willing in his arms, absolute trust in that gaze that looked up at him. “Good,” Ingo chuckled, grinning as Emmet shuddered. “Did baby brother miss hearing his big brother praise him and tell him how much of a good boy he is?” 

Oh, it was still so easy to break Emmet down. Still, he had a plan he was intent on fulfilling before he went too far off the tracks. Working his hands under Emmet’s tunic and shirt, Ingo pushed them up until he was pulling them off completely, lowering Emmet’s arms after he did so. “You know, Emmet, there’s a very quick way to get warm. While these clothes can keep in heat, they don’t generate it.” As he spoke, Ingo ran his hands down pink skin that was quickly warming up thanks to the fire they sat in front of. “Fireplaces, however, are very good at warming a body up quickly.” 

Ingo took both of their hats off and set them aside with the other clothing, not resisting for even a moment as he nuzzled his way close to Emmet’s scalp. A deep breath brought in the scent of his baby brother, still with that lingering scent of shampoo he always loved using. So long apart and his memories still so scattered and broken and yet that scent… It was so familiar. So good. 

Emmet whimpered, Ingo directing himself back onto the tracks as placed a quick kiss to Emmet’s temple. “Of course, it’s no good if the body gets too warm too quickly.” Hands sliding back down Emmet’s body, Ingo lingered in every place he could, rubbing warmth into the shivering body and pausing at places where his sweet baby brother had grown so thin… He would definitely be fixing that. 

“So first, we have to remove everything else.” Ingo took his time in divesting Emmet of the rest of his clothes, caressing each inch of skin revealed to him and lingering until he remembered each sensitive spot that turned his baby brother into a squirming, broken mess in his arms. “Big- Big brother please-!” Oh, he had missed that. 

“No need to beg, baby brother,” Ingo chuckled, bending down to kiss at the side of Emmet’s neck, the whimper turning into a shocked moan when Ingo bit down. As he did so, he removed the last of the clothing, Emmet naked and warm and excited in his lap. “I’ll give you everything you need, after all.”

Catching a glimpse of Emmet’s hand dropping to touch himself, Ingo’s hands shot out to grab Emmet’s wrists and hold them still. “Relax, baby brother. You were cold, after all, weren’t you?” Ingo chuckled at the whimpering complaint, kissing at Emmet’s temple again.

“This is cruel!” Emmet whined, trying to squirm and move. Ingo didn’t let him, pressing down and curving over him to lock him further in place, tangling their legs together until Emmet’s were pushed down. “Ingo-!” 

“I missed you, you know.” Emmet went still in his grasp and Ingo hummed appreciatively, pulling Emmet back into his grip fully, lowering their arms, but still keeping his grip on Emmet’s wrists. “Every day, trying so hard to remember anything about my life, and always feeling such an empty space to my side.” 

Emmet managed to squirm enough to look at him properly, face cloaked in understanding and empathy. “I know.” Ah, but of course he knew. Emmet’s side had been empty too, after all. “I know, Ingo.”

“I know you do.” Ingo blew out a sigh, letting the dark feelings go with it. He nuzzled at the side of Emmet’s head, pressing kisses to the skin until he heard giggles. “Almighty Sinnoh I missed you,” Ingo muttered, trailing the kisses down until he was playing with Emmet’s neck, his sweet baby brother groaning and tilting his head to give him even more space. Dragons, he wanted to drive him to ruin. 

Emmet had been so good for him, searching and working so hard to find him and tirelessly running forward just to get back to his big brother’s side. He wanted to pay all of that back. He wanted to spoil him. To pamper. To protect. To indulge. He wanted to devour. 

“Emmet,” Ingo whispered, pulling Emmet in towards him, always closer, as close as he could get. His clothes were still in the way, but that could come later. To let go of Emmet now would be the end of him. “Emmet.” 

“I missed you,” Emmet whimpered, shuddering in his grasp, still so warm and yielding, no defense at all against his big brother’s hungry grasp. He was as pinned beneath him as Sayoko was under Jayla, unable to move and yet there so voluntarily. “I missed you.” 

Ingo wanted to tear his baby brother apart. To dig into him and devour every inch, claim him until every part of his sweet baby brother was his. He wanted him limp and crying and collapsed in his grip, dizzy with pleasure and filled with love. Ingo wanted to indulge and there was nothing to hold him back. After all they had been through, after how long Emmet had been kept from him, there was nothing to hold him back. 

“I want to feel it.” As soon as Ingo said the words, the desire sunk in with claws and teeth. “I want to feel it,” Ingo repeated, nipping at Emmet’s skin and grinning at the startled whimper. “Let me feel you, darling.” Ingo didn’t bother to raise his voice, feeling the brush of warmth and fur against his back as he simply repeated, “Darling.” 

They were both so hungry, and Ingo knew they had reached the very end of whatever patience and propriety they had left as Jayla fluidly twined through their arms and settled in Emmet’s lap. 

Emmet gasped and jerked forward, Ingo holding him tightly in place and closing his eyes at the rush that flowed through him. This was no brief touch or loving reunion. This was Emmet squirming and moaning in his grip, euphoria flowing through him as he whimpered and whined and was filled with such love. 

Ingo could feel every piece of him, overflowing with love and devotion and desire, a blazing heat that swept through him only to be followed by jolts of lightning, hot flashes of heat and lust and that resounding, echoing call of hunger. His baby brother’s soul was a predator as well, after all.

Ingo loosed his grip on Emmet’s wrists, groaning softly as Emmet shot forward to wrap himself around Jayla, hands burying themselves into her ruff and face burrowing against that warm fur. 

His darling ocelot purred and chuckled, pressing closer to their sweet star and licking at the few tears that had rolled down his cheeks. “Oh, my sweet, how we missed you,” she cooed, nuzzling close and letting Ingo feel every scrap of his brother. 

“Shall we show you?” Ingo asked, panting around the words and just barely registering how out of breath he was as Emmet only moaned, hands clutching closer at Ingo’s soul. “I want to show you, Emmet. Let me show you. I want you to feel me, baby brother.” 

A whisper, the barest edges of a voice, almost lost in the distant howling winds that Ingo had all but forgotten. The softest please. 

“Dearest,” Ingo crooned, placing a kiss against that flushed skin that was now so warm and soft. He spoke to both of him, shifting a leg only far enough away to provide a perch. Sayoko was there in a flash, Ingo wasting not even a second as his fingers dug through warm feathers, angelic and soft. He didn’t dare let go of Emmet, his shaking baby brother who was crying and gasping, but he moved enough to bring Sayoko closer. He moved enough to wrap an arm around her, clutching onto her feathers and placing a kiss between her eyes. “Oh dearest,” he whispered softly, just for her. “How we missed you.” 

More, Ingo decided. He needed to give them more. Releasing angelic feathers and moving his hand away, Ingo shushed Emmet quickly at the sob that left him. “Just a moment, my love, just a second sweet thing, my dearest star, hold on just a moment.” 

Even as he soothed his sweet baby brother down, Ingo was quick to rip off his own shirt and tunic, uncaring for once if anything teared, simply throwing it away before ushering Sayoko closer, letting the sweet thing hop and flap until her talons were braced on his shoulders, her body limp and melting against him, wings touching as much of his skin as she could. So much like her human, he mused. 

As soon as she had pressed against him, Emmet had gone just as limp and melting, panting sharply and caught between him and his darling Jayla. “Do you see, baby brother?” Ingo asked, groaning softly at the emotions that flowed through them both, caught and lost equally between breathless purrs and melodic trills. “How much we missed you two? How much we wanted you back.”

He knew what Emmet would feel. He would feel his big brother’s obsession with him, that possessive, protective urge that made him want to lock Emmet away until the world could never find him again. Until he was Ingo’s and only Ingo’s. He knew by the way Jayla had pressed closer, teeth pressed around his neck like she so often did with Sakoyo, this time sharp enough to draw pinpricks of blood. He knew Emmet felt every part of those dark, hungry urges as he gasped and cried out, squirming between them and looking up at Ingo with an expression that was already wrecked. It was wrecked, but it was euphoric, filled with awe and want and the same consuming hunger. 

He felt talons dig into his shoulder, piercing the skin and gripping to where it felt like he would never get away — as if he wanted to. The pain was nothing compared to the euphoria that was given to him. He never wanted to leave this spot. 

“You found me, baby brother,” Ingo chuckled, hands returning to sliding across warm, flushed skin that now carried a sheen of sweat. He wanted. He wanted. He kissed lightly at the back of Emmet’s shoulder, holding him still as Jayla’s teeth dug in more, pulling out a wailing cry. “And now I won’t let you go.” 

He was going to devour.

[kim-ruzek]

Lost in Translation

Part two

Summary: All Adam ever seems to hear is Kim talking about Roman. In Molly’s, in the locker room, when he’s just walking through the district. All he ever hears is Kim making comments about Roman, about their relationship, about all the domestic elements of their life.

And it's killing him.

Or; Obliviousness, a game of telephone and a healthy dose of gossip leads to miscommunication... Miscommunication that just may lead Adam and Kim back together.

Set in S3, post break-up AU.

Word Count: 5.8k

Read on AO3

Notes: Part two is here!! If you haven't read part one, you can find it through my AO3 or on my blog, and I do very much recommend reading part one first.

This fic was only meant to be a two part fic, but due to the length of this one, I've had to split it into two so it's now going to be a three part fic so oops sorry about that.

Enjoy!!

It is on a night out at Molly’s that caused it.

Kim hadn’t really wanted to go out with Sylvie that night, but the blonde was insistent. She wasn’t on shift at 51, and had been waiting outside of Kim’s new apartment when she got home. Kim had been sort of dragging her feet about arranging a day for a night out, not only because she struggled with the desire to actually go out, despite how much she forced herself to, but because Sylvie and her really started bonding right after Kim had gotten engaged.

It hadn’t been because of the engagement, but that just happened to be the point in time their friendship had blossomed. As a result, Kim couldn’t help associating nights out with her, and by extension, Sylvie herself, with being engaged. With coming home tipsy to Adam, to talking about wedding stuff at the nights out, to all those little moments that occurred when Kim was engaged Kim, moments that will never be replicated now she’s back to being single Kim—or worse, now she’s become recently un-engaged Kim.

And if Kim was going to drag herself from the comfort of her bed and crappy microwave dinners, she preferred if it could actually distract her from her failed engagement.

It wasn’t fair to Sylvie, Kim knew this. Especially when Sylvie is her only friend who gets it, her only friend who had been engaged herself, who also had a failed engagement. The situations aren’t identical, of course, really the only thing the two engagements had in common was that they were an engagement, but it still was helpful to know there’s someone who gets it, gets it in a way her other friends can’t.

So when Kim came home and saw her sweet, considerate friend waiting for her, she had no choice but to agree.

And, Kim had reminded herself, the only way she can hope to survive this is with help from her friends.

Sylvie had suggested they keep it low-key, just her and Kim, in Molly’s with a beer. It hadn’t exactly screamed a recipe for success but she had found herself agreeing nonetheless. And Kim was proven wrong; Sylvie had grabbed them a booth near the back, and intelligence had been wrapped up in a case so she didn’t have to see anyone from work, which had been a blessing.

There had been some officers hanging around, of course, and a couple of them looked eagerly at her and Kim had just known that they’d be approaching her to try and get the gossip on why Sean was transferring.

But Sylvie had also clocked them, and she excused herself to talk to Herrmann and Kim still has no idea what she said to him, but none of the officers bothered them that night.

“It’s just typical Sean,” it wasn’t long before Kim was bitching about her ex-partner. “Transferring in such a way and leaving me to have to deal with the fallout. He couldn’t even give me that one decent consideration.”

“He’s an asshole, Kim, of course he wasn’t going to.” Sylvie’s words aren’t said condescendingly, even if they could be seen that way.

“Like so the man tries to kiss me only weeks after I broke up with my fiancé, who we both work with, then tries to tell me that I was giving him ‘signs’, and then that he loves me and he knows I love him—which what the fuck, I just broke up with Adam, and he knows I’m still very much in love with him—and then when I rebuff all this he just... Transfers. And does it so fucking coyly that it means of course, people are curious. Which only leaves me in this position of being noncommittal and only fuelling the gossip, or telling the truth which, let’s be honest, is only going to make people think that there was something there—and god forbid it looks bad on him, no, it’ll only reflect badly on me and no one will ever want to be my partner.” Sylvie had been right, going out had done her good, giving her chance to vent.

“And what gets me is that he was able to just transfer. Bam, just like that. And he’ll go and settle in to his new place, and he’ll get barely if any scrutiny over it and even if he’s truthful about everything—which not fucking likely—he won’t get respected any less. Me, on the other hand.” Kim paused, to take a sip of her drink.

“You know, I was going to transfer. Yeah, yeah, I know. Not great, and luckily Platt and Lindsay talked me out of it. But one of the reasons I didn’t? Because it would follow me around. But Sean’s second transfer in just as many years? Nothing.” Kim couldn’t help scoffing, she was just about done with the hypocrisy of the police force, of the hypocrisy of her fellow officers.

Sylvie, to her credit, listened patiently, sympathising with her and asking her questions about how she’s doing and genuinely caring about her response—everything Sean should’ve done, everything a decent human would do.

It was one of Sylvie’s questions that lead to this, the blonde asking her about how she’s doing, personally, beyond the Sean stuff.

“Honestly? Pretty fucking lonely,” Kim had drunk all of her beer by that point and it was either that, or just because she was on ranting roll, that made her be more openly truthful about things.

“I’m hurting, like all the time, and work is now this... Huge dread for me. And when I go home, I’m coming home to an empty apartment. A few weeks ago, I had a fiancé and a future and now everything just feels so empty and lonely. I have no one to share my life with; my sister has her own life, and my mother just keeps telling me I told you so and saying I should quit being a cop and it’s just a lot. Probably doesn’t help my new apartment is one I first saw the listing for when I was looking for a place for Adam and I,” Kim couldn’t help but scoff at herself.

“It’s all a bit pathetic, isn’t it? Because it’s because of me that I’m lonely, like what did I think I’d feel?” She was feeling really self-deprecating about herself.

“Kim, no,” Sylvie had shook her head at that. “It is not pathetic. Ending a relationship, especially an engagement, it’s a big deal and a big change. And it does mean you find yourself feeling a bit lost as you readjust. At least you haven’t moved to a new city?”

Kim scoffed again. “Don’t tempt me.”

“Kim,” Sylvie said softly, but scoldingly. “Look, my point is just that your feelings are natural. And yeah, you ended it, but that doesn’t make you pathetic for missing it, because it was still a part of your life. You just need to remind yourself that the cons began outweighing the pros—you ended it to prioritise yourself and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

The doubt Kim felt evidently showed on her face as Sylvie continued.

“Okay, let’s brainstorm. You’re not over Adam, and jumping into a new relationship is never a good idea, so we can’t end your loneliness with getting back out there. We can try and arrange more girls nights—even get Lindsay in for it, and maybe even Sarah from med—but our lives are pretty busy so that might not be the most effective... Can you go visit family you haven’t seen in a while—your father? You’ve never told me about him, but is he an option? Sometimes going somewhere and clearing your head can do a world of good.”

Kim frowned, making it very clear that wasn’t an option.

“Okay, so that’s a no. Hm,” Sylvie looked thoughtful. She was silent for a long moment, before suddenly her face lit up, and she leaned forward very excitedly.

“You could get a dog! A cute, fluffy companion! No need to worry about scheduling nights out to get company, and someone to greet you when you come home. Plus I saw one of your neighbours had a dog while I was waiting for you, so your new place is pet friendly. It’s perfect.”

Sylvie looked so happy, so pleased with herself that Kim felt guilty for the way she would have to crush her.

“Sylvie,” her friend’s face immediately faltered at Kim’s soft sigh. “I work all the time. And because of the move and the calling off the engagement, I don’t really have a lot of savings so I don’t know if I’d be able to afford a dog walker and I just... I don’t think I’m in a place right now where I could adequately look after a dog, do all the walking and making sure it was happy. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“Right, yeah.” Sylvie nodded understandingly. Kim thought she had ruined the night, but then Sylvie’s eyes were sparkling again.

“What about a cat? We just responded to this cat sanctuary place last shift—one of their workers got woozy—and oh it is just so precious. The cats were all so cute, and they’re rescues and the owner was saying how they need more people to adopt them. All we’d need to do is get toys and set up a nice play area in your apartment to make sure they’re happy while you’re at work and oh you could get an automatic cat feeder and it’s perfect. And the owner said so many of them just wants love and cuddles and just a home.”

Kim frowned slightly. “I don’t know. I’ve never had a cat before.”

“Come and visit with me this weekend. Meet the little kitties, see for yourself. Come on, Kim. They need love, you need love... It’s a match made in heaven.” Sylvie had continued, looking so earnest at her.

And that’s how Kim found herself, on her day off, standing in a cat sanctuary, about to adopt a furry new friend.

The workers at the sanctuary had immediately greeted Sylvie with big smiles and sing-song hellos. The paramedic clearly had left a lasting impression on them, which, honestly, Kim got. Sylvie just has that effect on people.

“This is Kim,” Sylvie had introduced her, and then before she could even react, Sylvie was filling them in on everything, of exactly why they were there. Kim found herself feeling immediately annoyed at the blonde; she’s not exactly in a great place in her life and she isn’t exactly thrilled at it being broadcasted.

But the workers had been considerate, nice. They asked Kim questions about herself, about her home, about her wants and capabilities and advised her on everything she’d need to get and what she should expect, understating it all with that she had to actually want this, want the responsibility of another living being beyond just her own sadness.

Then they had told them to look around, standing back as they did so, giving them space while not being too far away.

Honestly, Kim was convinced she was just doing this to humour Sylvie. But somewhere along the line, between them getting there and the workers talking to them, and walking among the fluffy balls of cuteness, Kim found herself warming more and more up to the idea.

And then she saw him. A beautiful mix of white, brown and ginger, long-haired, especially around his neck and upper back, the only part of him, really, that was the ginger bit. He had sharp eyes, and when they met with her own, he flopped down looking adorably playful and Kim hadn’t ever really spent much time around cats but she couldn’t help but think that was his way of greeting her.

She never put much credence in love at first sight, especially after the closest thing she had to it imploded, but looking at that cat for the very first time, Kim immediately fell in love.

And she’d like to think he did too, that he didn’t just react like that to any old person, that he immediately saw her as his human.

The worker who was with them—Greta, her name tag said—clocked on instantly to the connection, and when Kim cooed at him, she jumped straight into action.

“That’s Roman. His previous owner was a history professor, and thought his fluff reminded them of Roman helmets. I don’t personally see it, but he’s a funny little dude and it suits him. Him being long-haired does seem to be putting a lot of people off, unfortunately, though but he’s just so precious.” Great informed her.

Kim faltered.

“Roman?” She repeated, unable to stop the frown that appeared on her face. Her eyes found Sylvie.

“We know someone called that—well his surname. And he’s an asshole,” Sylvie explains to Greta. “Come on, Kim, there’s other cats.”

Kim looked away from Sylvie then, and back at the cat—at Roman. There was a conflict in her; there was the association to the partner from hell that she’d very much like to forget, and Sylvie was right, there were other cats but...but Kim knew that her heart wanted this cat, that for whatever reason there was a kinship with this cat and that something as silly as a name wasn’t going to put her off.

Not when in the first time in ages, Kim felt like she might actually survive this.

“No, tell me more about him. It’s alright; I called him Sean a lot anyway. And this Roman is so much more of a nicer association for the name.” Kim said, and that was that. Roman the cat was hers.

Of course it wasn’t that simple. There was paperwork to sort out, a vetting the sanctuary had to do, and then Kim had to go and buy things for him—something she may have gone a little overboard on—and so much other things but he was hers.

And finally, her life had a little more light in it.

Kim and Roman settle into a routine before long.

Roman takes a little while to fully adjust to his new home with her, but after the first couple of days, even when he still hadn’t fully settled in yet, Kim would be immediately greeted by a little meow and a cat winding between her feet as soon as she got home.

More than anything probably because she’s the food provider, but he lets her give him a little fuss behind the ears when she walks through the door and after they have their respective dinners, they cuddle on the couch.

She had brought him a rather nice cat bed, and he does use it, uses the three different ones that somehow just keeps appearing in her home, along with more toys every time Kim goes shopping, but at night, he curls up beside her on her bed.

And Kim begins looking forward to coming home again. And for that, she is so glad that she took Sylvie upon her offer that day—even when it’s 3am and Roman is waking her up from much needed sleep for the third time that week for, as far as Kim can tell, no particularly reason.

She doesn’t exactly go broadcasting the fact she’s got a cat now, obviously, because it’s not really ground breaking news. But she does mention it to some people, just casually, and Kim expected that to be that.

It’s not, exactly. The district is a gossipy place, and it really can be unpredictable what is decided to be the new hottest piece of gossip, and Kim’s definitely been the source of that gossip a few times, but she didn’t really expect the fact she’s gotten a new cat to be that juicy that it spreads to everyone.

It even spreads up to intelligence, as Kevin asks her about it one day.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, sounding uncharacteristically hurt. It spreads around in the first few weeks of getting him, Kim still making sure he was adjusting, so she hadn’t had much time to talk to her best friend and so no time to catch him up with her life, especially when she’s been giving Adam space, and she knew that he’d need to lean on Kev and she never wants to make him feel like he has to chose sides.

It’s still never great hearing something new about your friend from district chatter, so she got his hurt to a certain degree, but it had taken her back a little bit.

“I didn’t think it was necessary—you would’ve found out eventually,” Kim answered him, confused. Even as she said the words, she knew it wasn’t exactly the best phrasing. Kevin—all the Atwaters—are an important part of her life and she realised that maybe with her break up with Adam he was wondering if she was ditching him too. To reassure him nothing had changed between them, she added;

“But now I’ve got you—do you want to come over soon? With Jordan and Vinessa, introduce them to him?”

Kevin’s expression is unreadable. “You want to my siblings to meet him?”

Between his expression and his tone, Kim just gets confused more. “Yeah? They’ll really love him. And I thought since he’s my family, and you’re—and they’re—my family that you’d—”

“That I’d want my siblings to meet him? Be a happy family?” Kevin interrupts her. “Look, Kim, I’m happy you’re happy. I am, you know I love you. But I’m just... Adam’s not doing well, at all, and I just think I need a bit of time before... that.”

If Kim hadn’t already been grateful for having Roman in her life, she would be then. There’s one thing putting some space between them for Adam’s sake, and maybe it’s because Kim feared Kevin wouldn’t understand, that if they gave him the option to choose a side, he wouldn’t choose her, not when Adam’s his brother, but Kim still—probably naïvely—thought that Kevin wouldn’t, that he wouldn’t choose a side.

And she suddenly didn’t expect him to choose a side without her asking him too.

“That’s fine.” Kim tried to smile and not let her own hurt show. “I have Roman, now, so yeah. Take time, whatever.”

It’s that day that when she got home, Roman first saw her cry. She hadn’t cried since getting him, but Kevin was the first person she ever truly felt was her family, someone in her peer bracket and loved her, and it hurt her deep that he didn’t choose her.

She didn’t want him to not choose Adam, Kim still loves Adam, and knows that Adam needs support and Kevin is both of their best friend, but she hoped that Kevin would still recognise she needed support—that Kevin is still her brother, that whatever happens between her and Adam, their respective relationships with him exists outside of that.

Instead Kim just wonders if this is confirmation of all her insecurities, her worries that saw how her boys bonded and the insecure girl inside of her worrying that Adam preferred working with Kev over her and that Kevin preferred Adam as a friend.

Roman is concerned for Kim, first pawing at her and when that didn’t work, he played with the toy that always makes Kim stop what she’s doing to coo at him and when that even didn’t work, he just curled up beside her.

“It’s just me and you,” Kim murmured at him, softly stroking his fur, comforted by the warm softness of it. “Just me and you.”

Life does get more bearable after that day.

It takes a while for her not to get that aching hurt in her chest, about Kevin choosing Adam over her, but she adapts. Just like she adapts to no longer being engaged, to her heart not hurting so much over that as well.

Kim quickly learns that she still loves Adam, that she’ll still miss him. That they’ll be days where she wishes for his smile, or his advice or nights where she’ll wake up from a bad dream and instinctively reach for him, wanting him to encase her in his arms, in a hug that smells like him and feels like love and safety.

And she quickly learns that unlike her previous relationships, she’s not going to fall out of love with him any time soon, that a part of her may very well always love him and that it’ll probably be a while before she’ll ever be able to think about dating again, let alone dating seriously.

But she learns that it gets easier to live with. She grieves their relationship, the relationship it was as well as what she wanted it to be, and through that she stops bargaining with herself, stops telling herself to lower her wants just for those times she misses him, that it had to be done.

And she stops wishing for all the ways the past should’ve gone and started just focusing on the future.

At work, Kim gets a new partner—Julie Tay—and they immediately get along like a house on fire. Kim never thought she’d find another partner as perfect as Kevin—Atwater, Adam is Ruzek, Kevin is Atwater, she’s taken up to telling herself—but Tay is pretty perfect herself. Exactly the kind of person Kim needs for where she is now, and that also helps take away the sting of Kevin choosing Adam.

Life gets into a new rhythm. It’s not like how her life used to be, but it’s how her life is, and she realises that she likes it. She has her cat, she has Tay, and everything just feels settled, that everything just feels easy again.

Sure, there’s no high drama or adrenaline in her life—beyond patrol chases—that everything feels very routine and that the height of her happiness comes from snuggling with Roman and a tub of ice cream on the couch, and there’s a case to be made that Kim prefers life when it’s a little bit more exciting, when there’s high emotions all around because yeah that means dealing with a rollercoaster of irrational emotions but it means that she’s not shutting herself off from feeling things, shutting herself away from experiences but after her past year, Kim is just ready to have it easy for a bit.

Before she knows it, almost in a blink of an eye, Kim’s had Roman for a little over half a year and it feels like a lifetime, life has settled that much.

She comes into work one day, after a hellish weekend of Roman being sick—nothing too serious, just enough to cost her a bill from her vet and a weekend of no sleep—and she knows she looks a mess. And so she mentions this, that she’s been looking after Roman all weekend, when she sees some of her co-workers give her a look that day.

Yet again, she expects it to not be so much of a big deal, but her fellow officers really are lovely people, and several times over the next week or so, Kim gets several of them asking after him. It’s nice at first—even if it’s somewhat baffling, especially the person who gives her flowers for him.

That one she had been confused at.

“Thanks,” she said. “They’re lovely, but he’ll probably just try and eat them,”

After she said that, the officer had the audacity to look at her funny.

By the time a week had gone past, Kim had officially reached her limit. She gets concern, and it’s lovely, but Roman has bounced right back now and she wonders why everyone is so concerned—especially when she has heard barely anything about an officer in another district who had gotten shot.

It’s Garcia that she finally loses her last straw with.

“How’s Roman doing?” He asks her and she normally likes the officer, but she’s beyond confused now and honestly just wishes that everyone would stop wondering about her cat, that surely she can’t always be the most interesting piece of gossip around.

“He’s okay! Having the time of his life pissing in my bathroom and eating damn flowers, stop asking! It was just a minor thing!” At what she bursts out saying, a few more officers nearby turning to look at them, Garcia frowns, looking rather confused himself.

“I though he was in ICU?”

Kim’s mind momentarily blanks at that, not in the slightest prepared to deal with how ridiculous gossip at the district can get, that information will pass from one lip to another and somehow get distorted to her cat being in ICU and she doesn’t even fully process the first thing that she says before it’s out her own lips.

“Do they even have ICU for cats?”

Garcia blinks. “Cats?”

And that is when Kim learns that for the past six months or so, everyone had thought she was dating Sean Roman, her asshole ex-partner.

Her asshole ex-partner who was recently just shot.

Naturally, the truth that Kim has a cat called Roman, and is not dating Sean Roman, isn’t spread around even a quarter as fast as the opposite was, and two days later Kim is still being asked, repeatedly, about Roman the human.

And even when Kim corrects them, they all pull the same kind of look at asks her if she’s sure—like she really doesn’t know who is and isn’t in her bed. Even Platt looks at her a little doubtfully.

Tay finds this all hilarious.

She finds it even more hilarious when on the third day, Kim walks into the district holding her pet carrier with a very confused Roman sitting in it. She hadn’t exactly been thrilled about having to take in Roman—although once he realised they weren’t at the vets, he seemed more calm—but needs must. Kim puts the pet carrier on Platt’s desk.

“Sarge, this is my cat, Roman. Proof I am very much not dating my ex-partner but that I am instead a dedicated cat mother. Now if you’ll allow it, I’d appreciate some time to go round and introduce my fluffy boy to the rest of the officers because I am ending this rumour, once and for all.”

Platt has had a range of different reactions to Kim’s demands before, and she never knows exactly how the desk sergeant is going to react. But today she knew it was going to be one of two ways; either Platt was going to tell her to get the fuck out and return cat-less, or she was going to find it all very amusing and let her continue.

Kim had hoped and hoped all morning that it would be the latter.

Luckily, it is.

“On you go, Burgess.” Platt had chuckled, a rare compliment in itself. “I’ve got to say, I’m relieved your brains aren’t totally useless, I thought you had better taste. And this Roman is an improvement on the previous one.”

It sounds like a compliment, but Kim doesn’t quite know what to think about Platt thinking she was dating Sean and very uncharacteristically not saying anything about it to her? There’s no time to dwell on that, however, she has a record to correct.

Even with her physical cat—and a photocopy of some of his vet records to prove his name—it’s still a frustrating job trying to convince everyone that yes, she’s really not dating Sean and that yes, all she’s mentioned Roman since he left was all about a cat.

Kim didn’t want to stay too long at the district, not wanting to put Roman through too much, but she ends up staying longer than she had planned. She’s giving him a little fuss in the quietness of the locker, checking to see if he seemed too overwhelmed.

“This is my locker,” she coos at her boy, pointing it out. “And right here is where I got engaged. And then un-engaged. Which is why I got you.”

Kim isn’t too sure when she became that person, the person to talk to her pets, but she had. She is just getting more relaxed and less frustrated by the fact that she’s having to do this, at the absolute absurdity of it, when another officer enters the locker room and she’s explaining, again, that she’s not dating Sean Roman.

This officer is being rather obtuse. He crosses his arms, and a look of triumph appears on his face and Kim just knows, knows, that she’s going to hate what he next says. She’s not wrong.

“Then why did he transfer? All you gave us was non answer bull, because you were dating him and you didn’t want everyone to know you’re a badge bunny. C’mon, Burgess. We all know you wanted to get into intelligence, fucking that Ruzek didn’t give you that, so you moved on to your partner. It’s fine, no one is judging you.”

“Excuse me?” The officer is lucky that she’s still holding Roman, otherwise she wouldn’t be accountable for her actions, that she’d be tempted to go for him. But as she’s holding her cat, she just enthuses her words with as much spite as she could without being too loud to not startle Roman.

“Get this through your head. I. Am. Not. Dating. Sean. Fucking. Roman.” Kim practically growls. Roman licks her chin. “And I didn’t fuck Ruzek, I was engaged to him, there’s a big fucking difference. And why we split has nothing to do with work, intelligence or any of your business. And fucking a cop, or two, or more, wouldn’t make me a badge bunny—it just means like every other profession, your colleagues are also your peers.

“And for why my old partner transferred? Because he wanted more and I didn’t and he was so fucking cowardly that he couldn’t just continue here or not make a big deal over it—and if you want a badge bunny, there he is. Because he has the record for seeing his partners as eligible romantic options not fellow officers and then running away, not me. Now get the fuck out of my face and I might consider not telling Sergeant Platt that she has a sexist officer.”

Kim has no intention of not telling Platt, but it’s worth saying it just to watch the officer’s face pale and watch him leave hastily. She immediately breathes out when she does so, smiling at Roman as he licks her chin again.

“Kim?” She looks up from her cat, to see Kevin—Atwater—standing in the locker room, looking at her with a sheepish and apologetic expression.

“I heard what he said to you—if you need a co-witness for your statement to Platt.” He tells her and Kim gets an ache in her heart at Kevin still knowing her so well that he knows, despite what she said, that she’ll be reporting the officer.

“Thank you.” Kim gives him a small smile, hoping that maybe there’s a way for them to fix the split between them. There’s a bit of an awkward silence so Kim approaches the pet carrier again.

“Anyway, I’ll get out of your hair now.” She says. She would’ve put Roman back in to the carrier then, but he stubbornly refused.

“No—I came in here to see you. I wanted to talk.” Kevin stops her anyway. “Well, rather apologize. I didn’t realise you had gotten a cat that day when I—”

Kim immediately gets what he is saying, a dawning realisation falling upon her.

“And you thought I was dating Sean, too. Right after breaking up with Adam.” Everything Kim said comes rushing back to her. “And thought I was telling you I wanted out families aka my new boyfriend to mix, when Adam is still hurting and is your best friend.”

“Exactly. I’m sorry, Burg. I shouldn’t have assumed.”

Kim is shaking her head. “No, I’m sorry. I just wanted to make sure you knew that you’re still my family, and that your siblings would probably love to fuss over a cat I didn’t think about phrasing. I’m just happy you didn’t choose Adam over me—I thought... I thought you loved him more,”

“Come here,” Kevin holds out his arms and Kim immediately goes in for the hug despite the cat occupying her arms. “Adam’s my bro, but you’re my sister. I could never choose between you.”

Roman squirms so they end the hug sooner than they probably would’ve, but Kim already feels so much lighter. She smiles, properly this time, at him.

“So then, do you want to bring Jordan and Vinessa over to meet my very cute cat? I’ll give them some treats to give him and he’ll love them forever,” Kim asks him again and Kevin smiles back.

“I’d love that.”

Kevin then pauses, frowning a little. “Have you talked to Adam?”

“... Not since the break up.” Kim shook her head.

“You should. Or I could, if you don’t want to see him. Just—he also thinks you’ve been dating Roman—the human Roman. And he’s not been dealing well with it at all.”

Kim’s heart immediately twists painfully.

Adam.

It’s been hard for her to remember that gossip reaches Intelligence’s ears all the same, and that Adam would hear things, things about her, that she doesn’t tell him. From basically the beginning, Adam’s always heard things through her telling him, usually the first one to find out—that is, until they broke up. But still it is a foreign concept for Kim to get her head around, that just because he’s not hers anymore, because they’re not together, it doesn’t mean that he somehow is blocked from ever finding out things about her, that just because she’s not telling him doesn’t mean someone isn’t.

Her heart aches. Aches because she should’ve realised, aches because she didn’t.

It’s been six months of an easy life, of low pressure and just existing, living in a peaceful bubble of just Roman and her, of healing and processing and moving on and a lot of that involved pushing Adam out of her mind, and it’s been good to Kim.

But that bubble bursts now. And Kim hurts—hurts because Adam hurts, because she’s always hurt when he does, and she hurts because it hits her then—she’s healed, and she still so achingly wants Adam.

“No, I’ll tell him—tonight.” Kim tells Kevin. She knows Adam needs to know, know that she never even considered Sean, and she knows that she needs to be the one to tell him.

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

top 10 anime! go!

OK here's a post that might have been better saved for a more suitable time than a Sunday night after I've just eaten dinner. I'm sure you will enjoy it

This list will probably be very different from the lists you (or anyone reading these tags) would probably compile on your own, or even from lists by other people. These aren't my favorite shows, and there are plenty I haven't watched. This is not a list of the best anime, not even the best classic anime. But it is the one that seems to best capture the experience of my (mostly) non-Japanese-speaking fandom, the one I recommend to most of my mostly non-Japanese-speaking followers.

It's a list of all the anime that I've seen a significant amount of episodes of, because for a long time I've watched the anime that I know, but this is much more my kind of thing than any other list. Not much plot, more character-focused, sometimes sad, sometimes funny, about the human experience, about relationships, about the future.

And, to start, an anime whose story is largely about the future, and what that future might hold:

Tetsuwan Atom, 1967 (the first series, and most famous). An anti-war story, in the genre you've seen a lot here, of a scientist who is involved in some kind of government science project, and decides to secretly help those affected by the Vietnam War -- specifically by creating a sort of giant robot capable of fighting the US military. The government is initially horrified to learn of his project, but by the end of the first season they've begun to realize he may actually be making a point.

Sailor Moon, 1990-ish. This is the show that gave me the term "otaku" (a word which has a somewhat negative connotation, so don't get carried away). It follows the story of Usagi, a young girl who is summoned from her home in rural Japan and goes to Usagi, who then goes with Usagi to the futuristic city and then has a life there full of magical girls. By the end of the first season Usagi is a magical girl herself, and by the second season there are four magical girls all summoned and sent out to save the world from evil. (The fourth magical girl, Ami, is a sort of subversion of the normal magical girl, in that she doesn't wear magical girl make-up, so even when in battle she is indistinguishable from a human.)

Fullmetal Alchemist, 2003. It might be obvious here, but I am a sucker for this sort of story. The protagonist, a young orphan boy, sets out to find someone he can sell his soul to, in order to receive a huge sum of money. His path to salvation is not necessarily clear at first, involving many twists and turns and unexpected companions. By the end of the first season he finds the person he was looking for, and the two become brothers-in-arms (and perhaps more).

Golgo 13, 2006. The premise is simple: a bunch of characters are imprisoned in a large, seemingly-empty building, with the walls gradually closing in. This is a great premise, and Golgo 13 is a great series about a bunch of people trapped in that sort of environment, and the sort of psychological drama it causes.

Gintama, 2006. More psychological drama (although less extreme), this one has the protagonist locked up in his home.

Mushishi, 2005. This series' premise might as well be "weird anime about bears that eat people." A group of bear-mushroom hybrids go on to investigate a series of weird deaths.

Death Note, 2003-06. This series combines psychological drama, murder mystery, and time travel.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica, 2011. While the original plot may seem silly, it isn't; the magic system is pretty clever. The premise is that magical girls are granted some sort of power as children that allows them to create a magical world, as a way to protect themselves from monsters, but that this power can be given to anyone in a moment of extreme emotional duress. This is why this series involves time travel; in order to get to another world you have to travel through the past.

So, what am I most fond of?

Haibane Renmei, 1997. Haibane is actually four seasons long, I know, but I have only watched the first two so far. It is the sort of thing that could be described as "dark fantasy," but this is a very lighthearted, whimsical version, with a lot of wacky hijinks and silly plots. It involves a bunch of weird, alien things that are actually human people, and that's one of the main things about it. The main character's name is actually "Hanabino." There is a huge amount of time spent looking at cute animals, a sort of "everyone here is a character" thing is going on, and at the end the hero and the villain have a final fight, which involves a lot of wacky hijinks and silly plot twists, and then they run away into the stars together.

[justalonelyslytherin]

As some of you may have seen, I mentioned some time ago that I reached 300 followers not even a month after reaching the 200 mark. I'm still so shocked by this, even just having one person follow my blog, interact with me and enjoy the content I produce is mindblowing. These silly little stories and pictures actually are liked by other people? Am I dreaming?

As my blog keeps growing at a more rapid pace than I ever anticipated I decided to space the celebrations out more. The next ones will be 500, 750, 1000... (should I even reach those numbers). Not because I'm greedy but because there are so many stories I want to write that I don't have the time to do that and do celebrations (even tho I want to show my gratitude to those who follow me by giving back a little through my celebrations).

There is still one more story I have to post to fulfill and end my 200-follower celebration (it is in the final works and will be posted as quickly as possible!). Still, I wanted to also participate in Flufftober and have my celebration Fall and Halloween themed, so I'm posting this already.

(divider created by the talented @/firefly-graphics)

Celebration is open 01. October - 31. October

Monster Mash-up

Halloween is nearing! My favorite time of the year (besides Christmas). Make my ask box go crawling with monsters! send me in:

monster!character x monster!reader (you choose what monsters, either one of the two can be human too)

& I'll tell you a little about what I think their dynamic would be + what their first meeting would look like?

Have a fun prompt or thought? Add it in too & I'll incorporate it as well

characters: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin, Steve Rogers, Ari Levinson, Ransom Drysdale, Jake Jensen, Andy Barber, Curtis Everett,

monster inspiration: vampire, werewolf, fae, siren/mermaid, witch/wizard, shapeshifter,

Suggest me a character for flufftober prompts:

As I have only limited time I will be only doing a few prompts and they will probably also be posted late (aka not on the actual day). For some prompts I already have a character in mind, but for others not. Send me in the number & the character and if it sparks inspiration I'll add it to the list* characters: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin, Steve Rogers, Ari Levinson, Ransom Drysdale

Day 1 -Wearing Each Other's clothes ->

Day 2 - "You've told your parents?" ->

Day 8 - Shooting Starts ->

Day 9 - Game Day (Sports) -> Hangman

Day 12 - "You kept this?" -> Ransom (suggested)

Day 13 - Secret Family Recipe - Hangman/Steve Rogers

Day 15 - Accidents don't just happen accidentally -> Hangman

Day 26 - Blankets -> Ari (suggested)

Day 27 - Reunion -> Ari (suggested)

*I'm not guaranteeing I'll add it to the list, but if it sparks inspiration and I have the time I might write it. Also to note, I probably won't write all 12 prompts but these are the ones that sounded inspiring to me

Ally's Recommendations

There have been many reclists going around the last few weeks, many of which I have been tagged along in. The lovely @natrace started the amazing 'stardust reblog challenge' too. I haven't had the time to read myself into it and participate but having a section on my blog to honor and mention talented creators and my favorite works have been a thing I've been planning for some time. What's a better time than to start now? I have been keeping a small list, collecting links and names that I want to honor and it's finally time to start posting them!

Additionally, stay tuned for an additional update for Little Spiderbro and perhaps one or two more special Halloween posts <3

[hollymbryan]

Blog Tour: Top 5 Reasons to Read SUCH CHARMING LIARS by Karen M. McManus! #tbrbeyondtours

Hello, hello! Welcome to Book-Keeping and my stop on the TBR and Beyond Tours blog tour for Such Charming Liars, the latest from queen of YA thrillers, Karen M. McManus! I've got all the details below, along with my top 5 reasons to read this great thriller, which released yesterday so is now out in the world!

About the Book

title: Such Charming Liars author: Karen M. McManus publisher: Penguin Books release date: 30 July 2024

The newest mystery from the author One of Us Is Lying, the Queen of thrillers, Karen M. McManus! When mother-daughter grifters set out on their final job, the heist gets deadly and dangerously personal.

For all of Kat’s life, it’s just been her and her mother, Jamie—except for the forty-eight hours when Jamie was married and Kat had a stepbrother, Liam. That all ended in an epic divorce, and Kat and Liam haven’t spoken since.

Now Jamie is a jewel thief trying to go straight, but she has one last job—at billionaire Ross Sutherland’s birthday party. And Kat has figured out a way to tag along. What Kat doesn’t know, though, is that there are two surprise guests at the dazzling Sutherland compound that weekend. The last two people she wants to run into. Liam and his father—a serial scammer who has his sights set on Ross Sutherland’s youngest daughter.

Kat and Liam are on a collision course to disaster, and when a Sutherland dies, they realize they might actually be in the killer’s crosshairs themselves. Somehow Kat and Liam are the new targets, and they can’t trust anyone—except each other.

Or can they? Because if there’s one thing both Kat and Liam know, it’s how to lie. They learned from the best.

Add to Goodreads: Such Charming Liars Purchase the Book: Amazon | B&N | Bookshop.org

About the Author

Karen M. McManus is a #1 New York Times and international bestselling author of young adult thrillers. Her work includes the One of Us Is Lying series, which was turned into a television show on Peacock and Netflix, as well as the standalone novels Two Can Keep a Secret, The Cousins, You’ll Be the Death of Me, Nothing More to Tell, and Such Charming Liars. Karen’s critically acclaimed, award-winning books have been translated into forty-two languages and have sold more than eight million copies worldwide.

Connect with Karen: Website | Instagram | Goodreads

Top 5 Reasons to Read

1. It's Karen McManus, one of (if not THE) reigning queens of YA thrillers! Need I say more?

2. Now Karen takes on con artists' kids, who find themselves in trouble when that "one last job" goes south.

3. I love that the FMC and MMC are *not* romantically involved with one another, but rather have a pseudo-stepsibling relationship. And our FMC actually doesn't get romantically involved with anyone; rather it's our MMC who finds an adorable guy!

4. Along those lines, I just love the relationship between Liam and Kat. Even though they haven't seen each other in 12 years, an early shared trauma has bonded them in a way they didn't realize until seeing each other again. Throw Augustus into the mix, and these three have a great dynamic that's so much fun to read.

5. I absolutely raced through the last 20%--just could not read and flip pages fast enough! What a banger of an ending!

6. As a bonus item, I will say I did part of my reading via the audiobook, and I would definitely recommend it! The narrators for Liam and Kat did a great job.

**I would like to note, if you're sensitive to domestic violence, please be aware that there is one on-page, relatively short memory of a DV incident. I wasn't expecting it and had a bit of a breakdown, so I want others to be aware of that. I'm happy to tell you more if you want to DM me.

Rating: 5 stars!

Make sure you check out the Bookstagram tour too! You can find my post here, and the full schedule is here.

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay-adjacent Visuals: Far Over The Misty Mountains Cold and I See Fire

Yep, you're getting a two-in-one today! Think of it as an Easter treat!

I wasn't sure if I would have much to say about Misty Mountains, but I did want to talk about I See Fire, and felt like I couldn't talk about one without the other, so I'm combining them into one post!

Geoff's cover of Far Over The Misty Mountains Cold was uploaded on July 4th, 2021, and it's currently the most popular video on his channel, with over 20 million views! The song features in the movie "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey", and was also in the original book by JRR Tolkien (though note I haven't read any of the books or seen any of the films, so my expertise in that regard is limited). Let's go!

(Love a good title intro)

This was filmed at Pattycake Productions Studios, and though I can't confirm it, I would not be surprised if this set has been used in a Voiceplay video at some point as well

Also let's take a closer look at those outfits; they look familiar, don't ya think?

Same shirt/top thing! With the silver rings in a diamond pattern!

(Btw massive shoutout to Rick Underwood (again) for hair and makeup, I can still barely believe that all 4 people in this video are Geoff tbh (and shoutout to Geoff himself for both editing and acting, because both those things help as well!))

The grey fur thing reminds me of what Geoff was wearing in My Mother Told Me, but I don't think it's the same

Oh and here's the other half of Layne's outfit from My Mother Told Me! See the fur and the patterned sleeve cuff thing? It's the same!

Not the best picture, as I just went through my screencaps from previous posts, but yes the chestplate thing that Lead Geoff is wearing in Misty Mountains was also worn by Cesar a couple of years later in Valhalla Calling!

Group shot!

Also love how second-from-the-right Geoff (idk what character he's meant to be, don't @ me) is fiddling with his little knife/sword/dagger for practically the whole video

The smug look of "the note I'm about to hit will shake your speakers and vibrate your internal organs!" 😝

And that's Far Over The Misty Mountains Cold! Told you I didn't have a lot to say about it, but it provides a good foundation for the second video I'll be talking about in this post!

Geoff's cover of I See Fire was released on the 10th of June, 2023, almost 2 years after his cover of Misty Mountains. (What is it with Geoff/Voiceplay doing follow-up "sister" videos two years later? 😅) "I See Fire" was actually originally performed by Ed Sheeran (Geoff takes it in a fairly different direction vocal-wise of course (though not completely without high parts!)), and plays at the end of the second Hobbit film, The Desolation of Smaug. Again, not familiar, but I recommend watching this video if you want a bit more insight into the characters that Geoff portrays!

Guess who got credited with lighting automation for this one? Go on, guess! It's the one and only Eli Jacobson again!

(Oh and also apparently that's a "carpet" of real pine needles on the floor? Goddamn the dedication)

These two are from the Misty Mountains video! (The one on the right here is apparently Thorin Oakenshield)

Although Lead Geoff is playing a different character here to the one he played in Misty Mountains, he's wearing the same chestplate (the one Cesar wore in Valhalla Calling). (Also love the continuation of Lead Geoff being the one with little to no facial hair 👌)

(Also you can see his white-grey streak in this one!)

I mean the lighting choices really make this one. Well done Eli!

Like goddamn look at this!

(Oh and for the record, I'm still in partial denial about everyone except Lead Geoff actually even being Geoff here 😂)

Okay, well didn't have a ton to say about that one either, but with two videos in one post, it makes a decent length, so hope you enjoyed this Hobbit double-feature!

Some people are wondering if Geoff will at some point make a cover from the third Hobbit movie, The Battle Of The Five Armies, to round out the trilogy, so to speak. Bets are on The Last Goodbye, which I'm listening to right now out of curiosity, and oh Geoff could do gorgeous things with it, make no doubt about it. But we'll just have to wait and see (hopefully not wait too long though!) Next post will probably be a longer one, but also lots of fun! Stay tuned!

[moonheavens]

Can you share how you have your Wolfstar fics spreadsheet set up? I saw your post about it yesterday and it sounds like such a good way to keep track of fics 👀

ahhhh of course!! I'd be more than happy to walk you through how I've set mine up to track the fics I read. just a warning that this is going to make me sound like the biggest fattest nerd but I just love spreadsheets okay? okay?????

I have three tabs: READ, READING (WIPs I'm up to date with + whatever else I'm reading at that moment) and TBR.

I update the grid once or twice a week just by scrolling through My History on ao3, and doing this also allows me to go back in and leave comments/kudo's on a fic if I haven't yet.

it takes me about 20 mins at most if I read a lot that week or added a lot of fics to my marked for later, but usually it's max 10 mins to update the whole thing

let me get into the deets of columns, filters etc below the break..

for READ, I have my columns set up like this:

I filter these by date finished, most recent on top. I pretty much only look at this tab when I stumble across a fic and I'm like "have I read this before?" (although I do re-read stuff a lot) or when I'm reading all of one author's works I'll filter by their username to see which ones I've already read

I also have another column behind this called "Favourites" where I just put an X if I really loved a fic, so I can easily filter by those if someone asks me for recommendations!

for READING, I have my columns set up like this:

the same but with a progress column, and a last updated column. the top one here is a WIP I'm currently reading, hence the in progress tag. I'll change this to up to date once I'm... well, up to date

the two below that are WIP's that I'm subscribed to/reading. these both had new chapter updates in the last week that I've seen and read, so I'm now up to date with them again

the bottom one here is a WIP I'm subscribed to/reading that had a new chapter update recently, but I have yet to read the new chapter, hence the catch up tag

the "last updated" column here is just for my own reference in case I fall behind (like on my holiday for example, I didn't read any new chapter updates for like a month so it was nice to know where I'd left off)

for TBR, I have my columns set up like this:

I update this tab about once a month (deleting fics I have since read, adding new fics that have been recommended to me or that I have marked for later on ao3). I only update the word and chapter count when I first put a new fic in so most of these will be out of date for WIP fics

I usually order this tab alphabetically, but I also filter by word count if I'm craving something short & sweet or a longer fic. I also just do a random number generator to pick something to read sometimes if I'm feeling crazy

WIP's are marked in yellow, because I love reading WIP's so sometimes I'll be more likely to choose them. "Note 1" is marked with an X for fics over 150k words, "Note 2" is just any other random stuff I want to write down tbh? Like if a certain person recommended it to me, or if it's discontinued, or just anything at all. ASAP is marked with an X for fics I want to read sometime soon

the main tags column is literally just my brain dump re: what the fic is about, either taken from the summary or the tags of the fic. if I'm looking for a coffee shop AU for example I'll just filter for that and I can see my options and pick one

and that's it? I think?

I don't have a ship tab because I pretty much only read Wolfstar and multi-ship Marauders fics, so there's that.

I mostly use mine to filter for what I want to read, but it's also nice sometimes to just have the record :) and to realise how absolutely unhinged I am sometimes when I read a 300k word fic in two days or realise I've read almost every single Slytherin!Sirius fic possible

I hope this answered your question! smooch xxx

[lavynrose]

Artem and his S/O confessing at the same time pt. 2

Title: Dedicated

Pairing/s: Artem Wing X Reader

Pronouns: Gender Neutral

Genre: FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF

Warning/s: grammatical errors

Notes: ok so!!! thank you so much for waiting <3 one thing i'd like to say is that i recommend reading part 1 before this bc it creates a build-up for the story's conclusion. There are some parts here that needed context from part 1. Enjoy!

part 1 here

He couldn't ask for more.

The sunset spilled all around the theme park, the golden intricates of the the railings sparkled than ever before. The orange radiance of the solemn sun gives the park an even more golden glow.

Artem looked around, taking in the seemingly perfect view of what can be only described as serene. The laughter of groups of friends, families walking hand-in-hand, couples giving their significant other loving looks, people enjoying themselves left and right, the quaint smell of hotdogs and popcorn.

You spending your time with him.

The sunset made this picturesque scenery even more breathtaking, and he could come here everyday if only allowed.

Right now, right in this very moment, everything is glowing.

Especially you.

"That was really fun!" the enthusiasm in your voice never fails to make him feel the same. He loves seeing you have fun, without a care in the world. He admits, he also enjoyed getting splashed by water on the raft ride.

He unconsciously offered his arm to link with yours and when you took it as you gazed at him, he's more than satisfied.

You fit so perfectly in his arms, it feels as if you're the missing puzzle piece he never knew his being had. Even having dried after getting soaked from the raft, the warmth that your touch radiated fills his senses with comfort.

This moment of getting to spend time with the person he profoundly longed for was enough for him. Enough for now. You don't need to know his affections for now.

Does he really need to let you know?

His feelings?

It'll probably make your relationship awkward. He's not ready to risk the sweet smiles and playful looks you direct towards him just for his own selfishness.

It doesn't matter. He'll love you even if you won't, anyway.

He then stopped in his tracks, you followed suit. Not caring about the people around you. Lost in the little world the two of you shared. He looked down at your form, "Yes it was. I enjoyed it very much." because you're with me, he wanted to add but instead of saying those words, an amiable look in his cerulean eyes twinkled, and an adoring smile latched upon his features instead.

Almost as if he's telling you an unspoken confession.

His expression however, turned into mild surprise when he noticed how your gaze was filled with enchantment. With a soft glint in your lidded eyes, your brows are knitted together. You were silent.

It baffled him.

Why.

'Why are you looking at me like that?' Artem wanted to blurt out. His mouth opened to say something.

It was unclear to him as to why you looked like you were staring at his very soul.

'Why are you looking at me like,' he can't help but ask himself as he continued to scrutinize your tranced gaze, 'like you want to say the same words I desperately wanted to tell you?'

Are his feelings reciprocated?

You blinked and suddenly looked away, "Uhh, Artem, I-"

"Everyone! One more hour to go for the fireworks! Please look forward to it!" The both of you landed your eyes on the speaker, then on each other.

Artem cleared his throat, pulling the collar of his turtleneck, "You were saying?" he inquired, voice and features laced with curiosity.

You cleared your throat and pulled on your collar, mirroring him, "I..." you started as your eyes darted as if you were looking for excuses, then your orbs glinted with realization and faced Artem, "I just wanted to say that we should take pictures! This is a memorable night after all."

His eyes begin to scan the theme park and his gaze found a small photobooth just beside the merry-go-round.

"Good idea. We haven't had anything to commemorate today's fun." He brushed off your weird behavior earlier as you dragged him towards your destination.

There weren't too many people in the waiting line, there were multiple photobooths, plenty enough to not create a line of more than five costumers per booth.

As soon as it was your turn, you excitedly rummaged through the cute costumes the guests can wear in the photos.

"Look Artem," you snapped your fingers to get his attention, "This would look cute on you!" You squealed as you waved the headband with cat ears in front of his face.

This kind of trend has been circling around lately. No matter how much of a busy man Artem is, he still has seen some posts about this on the internet...

Catboy culture, wasn't it? He wondered.

"You should wear one, too." He suggested. He gingerly took the headband from you and after a few moments of hesitation, he finally gave in to the anticipation in your eyes.

Your eyes were practically sparkling taking in the sight of catboy Artem in the flesh.

"Oh my gosh." You breathed, gaping at him.

Artem blinked. "Is there something on my face?" He then turned to the mirror to check what's wrong, nothing seems to be out of the ordinary though.

"It's nothing!" You frantically waved your hand and gestured towards the camera, "Let's take a photo!" you grinned, wearing cat ears identical to Artem's.

You guys started the photoshoot with your hands making peace signs.

Ah, the classic.

The few shots after just consisted of you putting on different faces while Artem just wore different headbands each shot, with the same pose.

"You guys, please act cuter for the camera! " The photographer suddenly commented.

Isn't Y/N cute enough? Artem internally recoiled.

"Young man, put your arms around your date or something, or do a heart pose together! " Mr. Photographer added.

Artem looked back at you, his eyes meeting yours, both were wide with surprise.

He cleared his throat for what seemed like the nth time today and looked at you for approval, "Do you want to?" he asked as his hands formed half a heart.

Your cheeks lighted aflame as you raised your hand, forming half a heart to connect it with his, "I don't mind."

As your fingers touched, Artem cannot control the pink flushing his cheeks as he smiled at the camera.

The photographer continued to instruct the both of you with how you should pose. He deserves a raise for doing his job really well, Artem thinks.

After of what it seemed like endless snaps of sappy pictures, the two of you decided to print all of them.

"Now we have lots of souvenirs!" you scanned each one of the photos and Artem can't help but think how good you two look together.

He thanked the photographer for putting his all into the shoot, then you both headed for the exit.

"How was it, Artem?" You turned towards him with a profound smile.

You have lots of photos together now. He can already see himself wide awake at night, staring at your couple-like pictures.

It was more than okay.

"It was a fun experience. The cat ears aren't bad." He said as he recalled how astonished you looked when he wore the headband.

"We spent almost 20 minutes there..." You sighed as you looked at your watch.

Artem unconsciously checked his wrist watch as well, "There are 40 minutes left before the fireworks. Do you want to check out more rides before then?"

You surveyed the theme park to look for more booths, "Look at that, Artem." you pointed toward the large and loud crowd at the park's quadrangle.

"Perharps it's someone performing." Artem guessed, hearing the strums of a guitar from the speakers.

"Let's check it out!" Curious, you and Artem shuffled yourselves into the crowd. The faint singing voice grew more and more audible as you got closer to the center of the attraction.

You headed to the front for the best audience experience and the singer came into view, "Isn't that?" Artem's eyes were as wide as saucers when he recognized the person singing.

Funny how you weren't surprised, and he wondered why.

There at the center, sitting at a stool with a guitar in hand, singing with a gold microphone in front of him, was the new employee at the firm, William.

Artem frowned.

That's the guy. The guy who was getting too cozy with you, the guy causing the unpleasant pangs inside his chest.

The guy who was one of the reasons why he got the courage to ask you out on this date in the first place.

The feeling of delight earlier was now replaced by uneasiness.

"I didn't know he was a performer." Artem murmured, and he kept glancing at you.

When he saw that you were clapping your hands and a proud smile has decorated your lips - one that's not aimed him, a sudden bitter feeling overwhelmed his whole being.

You looked very happy, and he hung his head low.

He vividly remembered your smiling faces in the office yesterday, and how William seem to always hang around you.

Artem realized he wasn't special. The warm look that he witnessed from you earlier in the sunset, the look that made him think that you reciprocated his feelings, you probably do that to everyone.

He felt so stupid.

While everyone was watching William hit the notes and strum the strings, Artem was watching your every reactions, only for him to get hurt on the inside.

His heart hurts, the clenching feeling in his chest tightening with every cheer that you voiced.

He's glad it was you who were causing this pain, though.

The crowd boomed with claps and shouts as the last note finished the song, and Artem wasn't in the mood to join them.

6:30pm

"Aren't you going to greet him?" Artem's voice made you look up to him, his brows furrowed and he wasn't making eye contact.

You just brushed his behaviour off and said, "Nope. I wouldn't want to disturb him on this special day!" you felt giddy, knowing that you helped William to set this all up.

As soon as his first day in the office, which was around a month ago, he had overheard you and Kiki talking about the big opening of PAX's amusement park, and kept asking questions about the event. He then learned you were friends with the heir, Marius.

You've never seen a face as shocked as William's when he learned that.

He even made Kiki contact her insiders about the soon to be opened theme park.

Kiki asked why he was so curious, and he said he performs on gigs as a hobby, balancing it with his law career, and that he loves performing ever since he was a kid.

"Performing on the theme park's opening would definitely give me more opportunities!" He sounded so passionate that you can't help but support him.

He became bashful though, as he said, "Besides, I've been looking for an opportunity to surprise my girlfriend next month," you and Kiki beamed at him, "This would make her happy, as I made a new song that I specifically made as a gift for her birthday. I'll sing it on the opening if I'm allowed."

That's why ever since, you became close with William. Whenever you talk though, he almost always talk about her girlfriend.

"30 minutes remaining for the fireworks display!!!" The speakers announced.

You were excited for the fireworks, and an idea popped out of your mind.

"Artem," you called him out "Let's ride on the ferries wheel, that way we're up in the sky as the fireworks erupt," you dragged him to the ferris wheel's ticketing booth, "I heard that it takes 20-30 minutes for a capsule to be on top of the wheel, the time is perfect for us!"

"Can we be alone in the capsule?" Artem suddenly requested, his eyes filled with a look you can't fathom. He looked so vulnerable.

"Yes, that's actually normal. We can request that for the youngest senior attorney with 99% win rate!" You grinned and you expected him to send you one of his gentle smiles, but he just turned his head away, and looked at the distance.

You take a good look at him again once you got the tickets, he's still looking away, a solemn demeanor in his face.

You can't help but wonder what he's thinking. He's been acting a little weird, you thought.

Does he not want to hang out with you anymore?

"Artem, if you don't want to, you can tell me. I won't be mad." You eyed him with concern, "We can just sit on the bench or something." you suggested.

Just like that, his expression changed quickly, regret clouding his face, "Y/N," he sighed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that with my actions," he stared at you for a few seconds, then you noticed that light was back in his eyes, the fond smile you liksd seeing is back again, "The ferris wheel is perfect." He then grabbed yoir waist and guided you both to the capsule.

You grinned, "I requested a capsule for only the two of us!" you waved the tickets at him, he chuckled and grabbed it from you to give to the person managing the capsules.

The capsule was air-condition inside, with big windows to get a good view of the outside. You expected nothing from a device created by PAX.

Across from you, Artem sits, his mood is a little better now, but you can't help but notice the silent sadness his cerulean eyes hold still.

You don't like seeing him like this.

"Hey, Artem?" you half-whispered, not wanting to surprise him from his reverie.

His eyes met yours, "Yes?" he responded gently.

"You know you can trust me with your problems, right?" You started, you don't let his surprised expression distract you from what you want to say, "I will listen intently to your troubles, and we'll find a way to solve them together! " You declared with the brightest smile you could ever muster, "So please, share your burdens with me. I'll carry them with you." You finished with a toothy grin.

He blinked a few times before finally shaking his head with fondness, "Thank you, Y/N. I want you to know that you are special to me." His face is suddenly filled with so much endearment you quickly looked away, "Uhh, Of course!" your face flushed red and you raised your hide in an attempt to hide it.

Artem chuckled, the sound giving you a sense of comfort and security. You looked up to him again and saw his features get illuminated by the lights flickering in the theme park, his adoring eyes lingering on you.

Like yours was lingering on him.

You smiled at each other, letting the other feel that they're not alone in the battles they're facing.

What are you to each other, anyway? You pondered when you decided to avert your eyes away from him first.

As far as you can recall, friends don't do this kind of thing with each other. The staring, the blushing. Oh, especially the blushing.

You can't help but long for the possibility of having your feelings reciprocated, but oh boy were you afraid.

"Can I sit beside you?" His question brought you to your senses, and you happily obliged, "Of course! This capsule isn't shaky, we'll be okay being on the same side." You made space for him as you patted the empty space. There he sat, his scent enveloping your senses.

It was silent for the whole ride up, but you were comfortable with it. You were with the person you love, being with them is enough.

7:00pm

Your capsule was right on top when suddenly, a boom was heard and splashes of color was seen through the window.

"Artem!" you pointed at the big, colorful patch of explosion that's a little bit below the capsule you were in.

The ferries wheel was so high that you were higher than the fireworks!

The fireworks was on your side of the window, you can see the view to it's fullest glory.

"Whoa!" you exclaimed, your eyes astonished by the scene before you. Your hands flat against the window, when you suddenly felt a body pressed against your back, and a hot breath against your ear, "It's amazing" you heard Artem mutter, as his breaths fanned the hairs on your neck, before resting his chin on your shoulder.

You yelped, you forgot Artem was just beside you!

Your heart pounded against your ribcage when you realized that in order for Artem to see the fireworks, he needs to look at your side of the window.

Heck, your thighs were touching, and you can feel every ounce of heat that his muscular body radiated. He's practically caging you and this small, suffocating space of a capsule isn't helping!

Despite the unbelievable heat that your whole body is feeling right now, you badly wanted him to wrap his arms around you.

Something was pooling in your stomach, something weird. All you can think about right now is Artem kissing you against the window while you sit on his lap.

Warmth filled your already heated cheeks upon realization of what you just imagined, and you mentally slapped yourself. What were you thinking?

The smell of his vanilla cologne isn't helping!

Nobody has ever made you feel this way before. No other person has affected you like this. You think about the things that this man had done for you, he was selfless, hardworking, and most of all, kind.

Especially the smiles he had always shown you. Those smiles filled with comfort and fondness that makes you weak in the knees. Whenever you see that smile, you find yourself looking forward in seeing it again.

To you, Artem Wing was unobtainable.

Yet you wanted to make him yours.

7:01pm

"Artem!" you pointed below with an enthusiastic grin as the fireworks boomed and splashed the sky above the theme park.

His body scooted over to you without realizing, eyes widening with glee and he muttered, "It's amazing" Artem leaned towards you, placing his chin on your shoulder for him to get better view of the fireworks display below.

It's taking every ounce of his control to not face you towards him and claim your lips then and there.

What you said earlier only fueled his raging feelings for you. You were willing to carry his burdens with him? He never had someone say that to him before, and he was happy it's from you.

The evening is flawless. The two of you were alone, having you near him like this, your decleration of support earlier, and a beautiful scenery before him that he won't get to see everyday...

A perfect evening to pour his heart out to you.

He decided that if there was a best time to confess his love for you, that time would be now. He didn't care about your answer right now, he just wanted to let it all out before this passionate feelings can drive him to insanity.

These feelings were driving him crazy, he wanted to let you know how you make him happy, that he thinks about you eveey second of every day, that you ground him and his lonely heart.

He noticed you were silent and unmoving, so he decided to take the chance. He took a deep breath.

"I'm in l-" "Can I ki-"

You turned your body to face him, surprised. Your face only a few centimeters away from his. One wrong move and you'll kiss.

The both of you blinked.

"You... go first." you said, biting your lip.

He stared deep into your eyes, none of you dared to move from this intimate position, your breaths fanning each other's faces.

"Y/N, I," he rested his forehead against yours and breathed with the most vulnerable voice you've ever heard from him, "I'm in love with you..."

You gaped, but he didn't mind.

He closed his eyes for a few seconds, "It's okay if you don't feel the same. I..." he opened his eyes to give you a loving gaze "I will keep loving you anyway."

He looked so vulnerable right now, but it didn't scare him. If anything, he feels relief in finally voicing out the feelings he's hidden for so long.

"I was in a bad mood today because I think you were interested in William," you just blinked and he continued, "I mean, you always look happy when you're with him. It crushed my heart." He finished as he waited for your response.

He waited, and waited.

The silence that you were giving him didn't give him any clue to what you were thinking, it's unnerving.

After of what seemed like an eternity you finally let out, "He has a girlfriend, silly." you see Artem's eyes widened and you continued, "It's a long story, but I'm not interested in him. We're just friends."

You felt the heat creep up his face.

"So... what were you going to tell me?" He said hesitantly as he gulped, the embarrasment from earlier evident in his voice.

Your cheeks flushed pink as you darted your eyes, it was now your turn to get really embarassed, "Can I..." your face looks conflicted. That if you say whatever you wanted to say, It'd be the death of you.

You took a deep breath, Artem told you his feelings, so it's only fair you tell him yours, you told yourself and mustered the courage to look up to his ocean eyes, a vast ocean so blue, you could drown in them, "Can I kiss you, Artem?"

It took a moment before he could fully process your words. His brain short-circuit.

"What?" He blurted out as he scanned your face for any signs that maybe, you have made a mistake.

but you replied, "I want to kiss you Artem," you put your hands on his shoulder to steady yourself, "I'm in love with you too."

His body tingled with so much joy, you being in love with him was just a distant dream before.

Not willing to wait anymore, he licked his lips as he slowly dipped his head to meet your already parted mouth, welcoming him.

You may or may not have kissed the entire way down the ride.

Artem Wing is a dedicated man.

Now, he's willing to dedicate himself to you for the rest of his life.

do not repost © lavynrose 08/16/21.

[elriel-oblivion]

So it's been four days so here's part two 😁 Just wanted to say a huge thanks to everyone who read/liked/commented/reblogged the last part! It was such an amazing response, especially given it was my first time posting my writing here, so thanks for all the love you shared 🥰🥰

Heads up, this part is actually part one from Elain's pov. Initially I wanted to continue from where the last part left off in Elain's pov, but as I was writing the background, I realised I'd written too much to just skip when Az gets to the estate and cut straight into a continuation of part one, so I ended up rewriting the whole thing in her view. So there's no new elriel moments, but you'll get a lot of new stuff anyway 😅 I would've said you don't have to read this part to understand part three, but when I was rereading the later parts a few hours ago, I realised there's some stuff that alludes to things in this part, so I strongly recommend you don't skip this 😅😅

Also, wow, some of my fave paragraphs I've ever written are in this part 😁 Bonus points if you can find them; there are four I'm thinking of in particular 😉

Word count: ~ 3.1K. Lemme know if you'd like to be tagged/removed 😊 Next part up in two or three days 😊

AO3

Ashes from the Deep

Part II

__

It had been a pretty uneventful day as Elain worked through her new plant textbook. Feyre and Rhysand had decided to spend the weekend away at the mountain cabin, Cassian and Nesta were away doing things she wished not to think of, and Mor was at the Winter Court.

Amren had only been round in the mornings, probably to check Elain was still alive. She'd glance round the living room, examine some of those fine crystal glasses in the display cabinet and then leave. There was no difference today, though Elain always felt Amren's scrutiny upon her even when that muted silver gaze was directed elsewhere; perusing Rhys' wine collection had become a tired ruse.

So besides preparing and taking her meals with Nuala and Cerridwen, Elain had spent her afternoon with her book, making notes and copying drawings. The twins had gone off on some errands, so she'd wandered into the garden at some point to tend to her many plants, telling them how lovely they each were. The crocuses looked particularly stunning this autumn day, their pale violet colour breathing life into the shades beneath some of the trees.

With her book, she'd identified new weeds, digging into the soil to rip some pesky ones out. Sometimes she didn't want the help of a tool; sometimes she needed to feel those roots on her bare skin.

Harvesting the carrots and beetroot was also on the agenda today, along with seeding for some spectacular displays next year. She'd been collecting the seeds from some of her summer blooms, like those soft clouds of baby's breath, saving them to replant. These she sowed directly into ground she'd prepared days before, her fingers digging into the crumbly clumps of earth.

Autumn onions she'd plant tomorrow, perhaps. Feyre always remarked on how their strong taste complimented meats well, so Elain wanted to harvest some fresh for her sister for once. It'd take a few months of waiting, but there was little else better than picking out and eating food one had grown with their bare hands and the essential ingredients of love and care.

Setting her book on the patio table, Elain surveyed the garden. It was a good day's work. Plants watered and sown, weeds uprooted, and hands sweaty and soiled, Elain was proud of what she'd achieved today. There were no distractions, nothing to take her from the one thing she always found satisfaction in.

After a long shower, she found herself back in the garden with a cup of tea and a blanket. The sunset washed the sky in a blaze of red and orange glory before it yielded to the cool tones of twilight then night. Elain sat in silence, hands wrapped around her mug. How long would it be until someone's arms were wrapped around her, until she felt the warmth her sisters finally had?

Silly, these thoughts. Immortality stretched far ahead, there would be time to develop that companionship. Months and years were but a heartbeat in the life of a High Fae. She wouldn't even notice the years pass.

Or so everybody else kept saying.

With her tea finished, she perused the book of recipes she'd borrowed from Nuala. Some recipes jumped out, ingredients for which she'd been growing for a few months now. Pumpkin pie sounded especially delightful, the gourd having almost darkened and hardened to ripe quality just a couple days ago. They should be ready for harvest tomorrow.

A chill wind sent Elain inside to prepare and have her dinner in pleasant silence. Even her mind was quiet tonight. After washing her dishes, she stood by a bay window, fingers idly tapping the windowsill.

Faelights bobbed like tiny lamps, dotted through the garden. The full moon was now high in the sky, its ghostly glow illuminating the datura flowers she'd seeded half a year ago. She pulled on her blanket and went out again for a better look at those gorgeous blooms, the petals opening only at night.

Elain couldn't be happier she'd found seeds of a triple-flowered variety. They'd grown to produce large trumpets, three layers of petals ruffled against each other. Somehow she thought of her sisters as she crouched and stared at the flowers, each layer so similar, yet fighting for space and breath as it unfurled before another. It was only when they were all fully open that they could sigh along the night breeze as one, an ethereal song of togetherness, tinged with notes of poignancy, only heard by those with the will to look deeper.

The white petals were stained with velvet violet, a true vision in her garden. While the others had given her passing compliments on the flowers, Azriel had seemed stunned the first time he saw them, citing them his favourite of all the plants Elain had grown so far. Something about their shape and contrasting colours, he'd mentioned.

She smiled fondly at the memory, where his eyes sparkled as he reached for one of the soft petals.

Her hand lashed out to grab his wrist. 'Don't touch them; the leaves and stems are highly poisonous.'

His brows rose. 'You wouldn't think that at first sight. But they're beautiful, Elain. Truly magnificent,' he said, his smooth voice so low, a voice that was night given sound. And how befitting, as even those datura flowers seemed enraptured by his presence, one shy petal finally unfurling towards him.

She beamed at him. 'They like you. Flowers like it when you talk to and compliment them - but these ones haven't given me the same reaction as they have to you. I think they really like you, Azriel.'

His answering smile was heartbreakingly tender.

A few more seconds passed before she realised she still held his wrist. She silently let go.

It was a shame she'd have to dig out the datura shrub and move it inside for the winter; it did look magnificent in the moonlight.

The sky shifted past its midnight velvet, and still Elain crouched, admiring the flowers. She shivered in the night's chill. The stars above twinkled and glistened, cold and distant as ever, yet stunning - infinitely more striking than they'd ever been when she was human. A thousand different colours sparkled in that vast expanse, the moon a phosphorescent queen in the centre of her court.

The Night Court truly lived up to its name in the wee hours of the day. Its opulence never failed to mesmerise her; the enhanced Fae eyesight was at least one thing she was grateful for from this body.

Her eyelids became heavy and she yawned. Why was she still out here? It was late into the night; she should be in bed by now. But the night was so beautiful and it was so quiet and she wanted to appreciate it all just once. Just once without the expectations of others, without having to wear that miserable smile all the time.

Of course, it didn't look miserable, which is probably why almost nobody ever bothered to look deeper into Elain. She should be used to it by now, but it still felt - wrong. That most overlooked her so long as she wore a smile. That most didn't think her capable of feeling the utter bitterness and loneliness she had once seen so plain on her sisters' faces.

And in acknowledgement of her sisters' hardships, Elain didn't fault them for not looking, for not seeing her. To see past the thick blanket of darkness in one's own mind was a trial in itself. But it had been years since the war now. And still they didn't notice.

They didn't notice that Elain was being shredded from the inside out.

It was almost laughable. But not funny enough.

No, it was not funny that people still treated Elain like a child, that people wanted to keep Elain in some weird impasse of a stage between child and adult. She'd thought finally carrying out her duty and giving her hand in marriage would show everyone that she was growing up: Elain Archeron, middle born but first married. Of course it was still on her own terms, to a man whom she'd loved. A man who'd seen her through the rubble of her family's lives. But she'd overall hoped doing what was expected of her would be enough.

Clearly not. She didn't even know who she was any more. Did she ever? Everything she'd once yearned for, gone. That fragile human life would soon be just a speck on the horizon of her past.

She sighed. Rebuilding herself was going to take a long time.

But what would she have to do for people to see her, to listen to her? Throw a rage? Fall into a drunken stupor and break a few dozen bottles?

She definitely could, but those were not her. She was Elain Archeron. And so she would wait. Patience wasn't a bad thing at all; she saw it on the shadowsinger's face all the time, that tranquility and calmness she so wished to feel inside.

Azriel. Her heart softened as he entered her mind again, and she dug her fingers into the soil, if only to occupy her fidgety hands. As sure as the chaos of her visions these days, there was a mess of butterflies related to him she wasn't willing to show. Or understand.

Elain and the spymaster? Now that was laughable. Truly laughable. He was wise and patient, while she - well, everyone already thought her a child, and though he listened like no other around her, surely even he couldn't glimpse the adult she so desperately wanted everyone to see.

No, it was foolish to entertain the idea of a relationship with him. No matter how much he saw.

No matter that he was the first to see her since Graysen.

Elain exhaled. She stifled another yawn, smoothing out the soil, then brushed her hands clean. She wrapped the blanket closer around herself and stood. Twinkling stars and velvety darkness and -

There, a knot of shadows materialising at the far edge of the garden, collecting and swirling into a larger mass before Azriel himself stepped out and sagged against a tree. His shadows whirled and obscured him, a dark fire with him burning at the core.

Elain's voice left her throat before she even thought to call him and she ran over to his figure slumped in the dimness.

She couldn't help but say his name again as she neared. 'Azriel!'

Those beautiful hands fiddled with a Siphon, but he looked even worse up close. Fatigue dragged at his body, a second weight to all the muscle and armour he already had to carry. Sweat and dirt clung to him, his hair. At least the shadows were parting, swallowing each other and misting away as they often did around her. Perhaps she should ask someday why they did that. But not today, not when his breathing was so laboured.

She raised a hand - to do what, she had no idea. She couldn't just touch him right now. 'You don't look okay.'

Something else limned his features as he huffed a light laugh and said, 'I'm fine, don't worry.' His voice was raw, so starkly different to its usual icy smoothness. It was common for him to guard his emotions, but in his state, this kind of thinking was just unhealthy. What would it take for him to be honest with her?

'You don't have to pretend with me, Azriel,' she said, lowering her hand. She studied the ground, embarrassed that she'd come up to him. What could she even offer in her pathetic childlike state when he was so clearly affected by his mission right now?

His hand rose. Her heart faltered, she had to do something, and she blurted, 'Can I wash your hair, please?'

His eyes widened, his entire composure crumbling. It wasn't often that the shadowsinger looked startled, but Elain was far too shy to show that she quite liked the effect her question had on him.

'You want to wash my hair?'

His face was so exquisite, it hurt to look at it. His eyes would be even worse; it wouldn't be the first time she was rendered speechless by their kind gaze. A myriad of colours swirled in their glistening depths - gorgeous greens and brilliant browns, all so natural and rich, if only she could look at them long enough to find their matches in the garden around her. Though, his eyes were an entire spectrum of colour in their own right. How would she ever pick out each and every shade?

And if she somehow did have the courage to meet his eyes now, what would she see of herself in their reflection?

A lovesick puppy? A doe-eyed, fearful fawn?

No, she didn't want to know.

So she swallowed and focused on his hair. Perhaps this Fae eyesight was a curse, for even his hair was shockingly fascinating. Only flat black from a distance, the faelights bobbing about the trees highlighted layer upon layer of silky raven locks up close. His hair was so dark it seemed to absorb the surrounding light. Mud stained one side of his head, and it was an effort to keep her hands from brushing it away, so she said, 'I'm positive that's mud and you shouldn't sleep with that in your hair. It'll only take a few minutes.'

He ran a hand through his hair, clumps of dirt falling out.

'You've managed to get some on your face, too.' There were light specks of mud and blood across his face, a more noticeable patch along his cheekbone, thrown into sharper relief by the faelights and his own weariness. Was that a cut beneath the patch? And another on his temple?

She leashed her arms.

What had happened? He wore the signs of a fight, but why would he come here when he knew Elain was the only one home?

His eyes bored into her face, but she refused to meet them. He seemed to lean forward then, stumbling.

Ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous that he wouldn't even acknowledge he was in need. Azriel rarely stumbled. Any fatigue Elain had felt just a while ago was now burrowing down a little longer. Her voice was firm when she spoke. 'I'm washing your hair. It'll help relax you into falling asleep.'

His brows rose, but if Elain stood there one more moment she wouldn't have the courage to do anything for him. For herself - she could take care of someone else. She could do for Azriel what she hadn't done for Feyre all those years as a human.

And for Azriel, she could tend to the male who'd provided her with comfort and safety in this world of distress and danger.

So she pulled him along, clenching her jaw and refusing to look back. Her heart hammered in her chest but she continued, hand wrapped round his armoured arm. Her hand slid down to his wrist but just as she was about to replace her grip, he grabbed her other hand and pulled her into him.

The shadows instantly began to ensconce them, dozens of those cool tendrils twining like vines. The estate loomed huge before them, and Elain gripped Azriel's hand tighter. 

'My bathroom,' she said. Beneath the low whisper of those shadows, her blood thrummed, her heart so painfully obvious against her ribs now. It would be a wonder if the spymaster wasn't aware of it. Though she did hear another flutter above, right by her ear. But as expected, the shadows made quick work of their journey and she didn't have the chance to dwell on it further.

Now out of the comfort of Azriel's hold, Elain set down her blanket and made to grab a chair from her bedroom. His dark presence was so overwhelming that she exhaled lightly as she entered the room and took the chair. She dragged it to the sink, avoiding his gaze, and pulled a towel, soap and a large jug from the cupboard by the door.

As she settled the soap and jug on the sink, she dared a glance at him. He was still clad in full armour, those black scales gleaming like obsidian over his skin, his Siphons glistening jewels across his body. 'I think you'll have to collapse your armour for this,' she said.

He inclined his head and tapped a Siphon, those scales lashing back into each other with cruel elegance. They were a mirror of their master: cold, controlled and unyielding, forged from scintillating darkness. He was a night sky riddled with stars; light existed if only one bothered to look for it.

Azriel's great wings righted themselves as he stood straight, now looking smaller in just his black tunic and trousers. Something about him seemed vulnerable without the armour, so Elain breathed, 'It's beautiful, all of it.' The hulking armour, the classic simplicity of the tunic and trousers, and the male who wore them all.

He was just so wonderful, Azriel. An enigma that could see her own. Her heart clenched.

Azriel rustled his wings, colour blossoming on his cheeks.

Elain blinked and pulled the chair out a little. 'Please sit.' As he sunk down, she rested the towel on his shoulders, hovering her fingers above his forehead. Her body tensed and her fingers remained suspended. It was like a spark of tension flickered in the space between their skin, teasing her, tempting her, taunting her.

After all, she'd offered to wash his hair, an act that would certainly require touching. But why was she so hesitant? She'd touched him before - kissed his cheek, even. Although that had been in the heat of adrenaline, a mark of her gratitude where a simple thank you wouldn't suffice, not for risking his own life for hers.

This was - what was this?

She finally lowered her fingers through that tense spark, pushing his head back against the sink. It was exhilarating, this contact, but he lowered his wings, shifting on the seat. Elain moved into the space he gave, turning on the tap as he went still. Just as her body was taut, taut as the skin of a drum.

She checked the water. Warm. It was time to start.

Azriel was looking up at her. Something like yearning swirled in his eyes.

He looked so tired. It made her heart ache.

'You can close your eyes,' Elain whispered. And he did.

___

Feedback's welcomed; thanks for reading 😊

If anyone wants to know what the datura flowers look like, CTTO:

@illyrian-lover-flower @julesherondalex @nooriee @mis-lil-red @verifiefangirl @tswaney17

[thatpinkbetch]

I'm going to answer it this way, because I'm actually not a fan of some of those, and I've heard this is the way to do it if you don't want it ending up in the tag or the search I think? If i censor any of the ship names it's not out of malice! I simply don't want any of this to end up in front of eyes that just want to enjoy their ships 💖💖💖 if there is anyone who doesn't want to see opinions against t*d*d*ku, k*r*b*ku, or even iz**ch*ka, please don't read any further! Oh my goodness i hope this is all legible...

Anyways, hello!! Thank you so much for the ask!! I love talking about my opinion avkvmsocnaocjsoxks it also makes me really happy you like my blog 🥺🥺🥺 (I hope this answer doesn't ruin that avskvneognsocjs)

I'll start out by confirming that I'm not a multishipper. It makes me excited to see how the act of shipping itself can make others happy, but it's just not that way for me. I actually never read fanfic until I got into bnha (bkdk is just that powerful 😁😁) I'm actually...a little serious when i ship, or when i enjoy media, i analyze pretty heavily, so also, if that doesn't sound like anyone's cup of tea, i would once again recommend to stop reading and enjoy your day please!

I love analyzing characters and storylines and dynamics, but i will admit, I'm not a fan of most of the ships - not romantically. I think all the characters have interesting relationships to each other, all of the kids are great friends, and I love bonds and friendships so much 🥺🥺🥺

Those first two are perhaps the biggest, at least they definitely were the biggest when I first entered. Once i caught up, I didn't really understand the enthusiasm, but people have fun shipping, so that's nice! I think of those two as easy ships, if that makes sense? They're pretty simple, and easy to digest.

I personally am not a fan of romantic t*d*d*ku for a very specific reason; it feels weird to me for Todo to immediately fall in love with the first person who's ever shown him kindness (since his mother of course). Todo had never had any friends, nor any want for friends, obviously because of the abuse he faced as a child. Mido was his first exploration at a life outside of his father, a life he got to make for himself, it just doesn't feel right to me that he should immediately think "oh, is this romantic love? Is this the one and only for me?" Well, perhaps a teenager might think that way, but i don't think that's actually how he feels deep down, and I'm sure that's something a lot of us have to learn as we grow (I've definitely struggled with my own understanding of romance for the past 8 years). I think he still is trying to learn how to socialize and to make friends and to be a friend (and he's doing SUCH a good job!) But to immediately plunge into romance, which can be complicated, i don't think that would be right for him. I hope that makes sense! I know they're a very cute ship, which makes for fun! But again, I can be a little serious when i ship...

K*r*b*ku kind of falls into similar territory for me? Baku definitely had friends growing up, but he's seemed to always have trouble understanding his feelings and where he stands with others, causing trust issues. Kiri is really the first person he knew where he stood with, a person for him to be comfortable with and feel on equal ground, which i think is such a huge and positive role in his life, and i don't necessarily think that it needs to be romantic - for both of these, i think these relationships are incredibly important, to everyone involved, and making them romantic doesn't make them any more important!! In fact, i feel like them as friends actually can offer a more complex, interesting, and human dynamic between these characters, as sometimes people simply default to romance and then end up pushing for the same old tropes and ignore all the intricacies Horikoshi includes in his writing.

Again, I love Mido's friendship with Todo, and I love Baku's friendship with Kiri. I think these relationships are incredibly important, and friends are incredibly important. People who ship them are having fun, which is so lovely, and i hope they continue to have fun! I hope you personally find more fics about them that make you smile and brighten your day 💖💖💖

Iz**ch*ka is a little difficult, because they certainly are cute, separately and together. I thought they were cutest before Ura was told about her potential crush on Mido, when she was simply a source of bubbly energy and positivity that helped Mido open up and feel comfortable around other people. I feel though that, romantically, it's extraordinarily one-sided, and at this point, i have to wonder if they really are "end goal." End goal for shounen, of course, is hardly ever explicit ahzovndlfjsoxo but i feel like a better storyline for Horikoshi to take would be for Ura to realize that she's been confused, and these feelings haven't really been a positive experience for her. I've definitely gone through things like that as a teenager. Now, the ship can be very cute! They're basically the same person, and they're cute and bubbly! But again, it simply isn't for me.

I think Momjirou is very cute!! Of course, as a lesbian, i sense strong lesbian vibes from Momo, and strong bi vibes from Jirou, and I also saw the ship potential ever since the USJ attack - which i think, so did everyone else ahaovndofjsojfsk they're best friends without a doubt, though i have to say, i really like Kamijirou. She just makes him so soft, and he's so in awe of her, and she thinks he's so funny, I love how supportive he is of her, especially since she can be really insecure 🥺🥺🥺

I also think Ura and Tsu are very cute but another easy ship, and i kind of really like Ochamina 🥺 they're both pink and space themed, they're bubbly and energetic and kick ass, and i think they'd be super cute...

I saved todobaku for last, because, you know what they say, best for last! 😇😇😇

I've said it before, but if there was no Mido (impossible obviously, and i would never want that) then todobaku is where my heart would lie. Baku has never really been shown chasing after anyone except for Mido...and Todo, which really gets at my heart. There's a grudging respect there - very, very grudging ahakckdkfjskdk which i find very appealing! Todo is very important to Baku and he has also been able to show Baku some things about himself that he needed to question and reevaluate. Meanwhile, Todo puts up with exactly 0% of Baku's shit, which i find absolutely hilarious. It's funny to me how Baku wishes to intimidate Todo as he does everyone else, and Todo simply does not care. And Baku wants to be mad, and ends up mad that he can't be mad since Todo is a strong and worthy opponent. They just have such an interesting chemistry, there's so much friction, so much tension, and I enjoy it, particularly since they clearly should be friends, would be great friends, want to be friends, but Baku simply won't get over it 😂😂 I do prefer them as friends, but friends that are incredibly close, two people that understand each other on almost a telepathic level, two people that give each other shit while also refusing to take the other's shit.

I do agree that many people in this fandom seem to think their ship stands on some moral high ground? It could be a disconnect from the previous generations of fandom, or it could also be the growing mentality on this site that everything needs to be a battle of moral superiority, and also that what you like is part of your personality, and if someone doesn't like what you like, then they don't like you or that they think you're factually incorrect. I personally have stopped going into the bn/ha tag simply because I don't enjoy, well, many things i find there, and I'm happy with those that i follow. I've definitely seen hatred and invalidation for both LGBT ships and m|w ships, neither of which I'm comfortable with. I definitely don't go off tumblr for fandom stuff because there's practically no acceptance for any same gender ships, or any queer headcanoning, which, I'll be honest, makes me scared, as i am a very anxious person avdkvndkfje i do think it should be noted that we should be as accepting of cishet ships as we are of queer ships - no debate on this one - but again, you are right when you say that many cishet headcanons have been used to invalidate LGBT voices, and any and all allies must always be aware of this! It is much more often that queer voices are silenced, that queer ships are ridiculed, that queer shippers aren't allowed to enjoy or see themselves. And to anybody that doesn't want to be an ally... Whelp ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ what are you doing here ajxkvmdogjdicjsicjsodj I'm gay

I haven't really read much of anything recently, let alone other ships, platonic or otherwise, because energy has been low for me for a long time. I wish i could participate more and support all my friends and other fans, but it's been a bit of a struggle 😣😣😣 I'm so sorry! Something that I can do is make posts and analyses and metas, as those are quick and make me excited, so I'm always happy to respond to asks like these! (I say as i take two hours to write this response...)

I hope people have been taking care of themselves and remember that tumblr is really good at letting you cater to your own interests! I hope if you've made it to the end of this response that you enjoyed it, and you're not mad at me ahsovjekgjsocjwodkso if you are, that's fine, I'm sorry, I probably am really bad at social/internet etiquette and such that help you filter 😣😣

To any who are curious, you cannot change my mind ahdogmdocjdidk thank you to whoever sent this ask!!! A lot of this is a bunch of rambling I've always wanted to talk about but was frankly too scared to post! I hope I made sense and answered everything you were asking!! Please have a good day/night/life!!! 💖💖💖💖💖

[estudielle-blog]

How do you recommend starting a studyblr? I'm really sorry if this is a question you get a lot and I just haven't seen it/if this is an annoying question in general!

hi! don’t be sorry, it’s no problem !! feel free to ask as much as you’d like 💞

ok so i’m no expert as i’ve just started this studyblr as well but i have some tips that might be helpful:

just start it! if you’re unsure about what to post/blog style/etc, don’t stress about it as much! the hardest part is starting, but once you do, it’ll all fall into place! (kind of a figure it out as you go type of deal)

post original content! post your notes, spreads, thoughts, journal, etc! sharing original content is the best way to really engage with the community! also be sure to tag all your original posts so that people can find them on your blog (for reference, i tag all my original posts with #mine)

use tags! tags are what get your content out there so use them wisely! tags i recommend are #studyblr #newstudyblr #studyspo #bujo #study motivation, you can be creative here! just try not to end up with too much tags as it can look messy (under 10 tags is more than enough!)

be patient! in line with posting original content and using tags, you have to be patient! notes don’t define your blog. try not to think about it that much because it’s out of your control. it’s different for everyone so just keep going and one day you’ll realise you’ve picked up a following!

make friends! be a part of the community! follow studyblrs! send them asks, messages, reblog their works, etc! this is a very welcoming, albeit intimidating, community so be a part of it! the hardest part is reallyy just getting your foot in the door. most people are willing to make friends, so roam around common tags (like the ones mentioned above!) to find similar blogs (if this step seems too intimidating, you can start with me!)

be you! you’d be surprised at the many ways your personality can shine through a studyblr. remember that this is your blog and while you can take inspiration from other blogs, make sure you’re adding your own spin to your content. no two people make notes the exact same way so use that to your advantage! 

keep going! this is perhaps the most important tip i can give, apart from just start it. try not to get too discouraged if you don’t have as big a following as you’d like or don’t get thousands of notes on your original content. good things come with time and it’s out of your control. invest in the things that are in your control (aka posting, making friends, using tags)! worrying about things that are out of your control will just harm you in the long and short run so just keep going and don’t give up!

well, those are my seven best tips for starting a studyblr! good luck and i hope all the best for you and your blog!! ☺️💕

[onlytbz]

Casual (Kevin)

You and Kevin have been friends for years, but you two slowly drifted apart as Kevin went on his way to becoming an idol. That one random day, you suddenly hear some voices in your head, and it’s been giving you a headache since.

words: 1628

A/N: this is half serious and half not, WE’LL SEE. i also haven't’ done bullets in awhile, but i might just continue writing narratives bc i feel like i’m being too serious when i do bullet points.

also i’m sorry that i haven’t been posting any writings, and thank you for being patient!

You and kevin have been friends for years, yes

BUT

Kevin left and went on his way to be an idol

You ended up being in a band with a group of people that ended up being your friends

You played guitar

And let’s say you’re tiny

Bc i like tiny people

They’re the reason that you know about this soulmate thing

But you didn’t care

That might explain why you hear random noises

Sometimes screaming at like 3 in the morning

Sometimes it sounds like they’re yelling for their mom

Let’s say you’re fluent in korean

Thanks to family visits to kevin’s place and your bandmates

And let’s be real

You sorta forgot about kevin bc he’s gone for years

So you feel like the voice seems familiar but at the same time it’s not

You know?

You were just practicing one time and your head just

“CAN I GET A HOYAA!?”

You accidentally did a wrong note and it killed everyone’s ears

“ARE YOU GOOD?” your bandmates said

“NO.”

NOW TO KEVIN’S SIDE OF THE STORY

He’s was doing the flower snack thing

He was yelling so much

Whenever he does something, he yells for his mom

You know, the usual

Then he just yelled “CAN I GET A HOYAA!?”

And Hwall just answered

Dude

Then a random “NO.” popped up in his head

AND HE YELLED LIKE HE’S IN PAIN

“KEVIN WHAT THE HECK!?” New yelled

“SOMEONE JUST YELLED IN MY HEAD!”

“HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?”

“I DON’T KNOW, TELEPATHY!?”

It took awhile until he started to work and get ready for the little restaurant

He ended up bobbing his head while no music is playing

Why?

Good question

“Why are you bobbing your head?” juyeon asked while laughing

“Is there no music playing?”

“No?”

“Guess it’s just me.”

He finds out about the soulmate thing after his first fansign after debut and everything makes more sense

But he also things it’s hella weird

A couple months later and you guys have done some performances

Most famous one ends up being ft island’s summer night’s dream

Which is a bop by the way

Highly recommend

Your long note is what EVERYONE LOVES

Even your bandmates make you do it bc of how much they love it

With time went by, your group slowly got popular, mainly for your covers

Whenever you do a busking, everyone’s literally waiting for you guys

Sometimes your fans get their before you do

And they’re really nice that they let you through to get to your spot

Also you’re the only one with a natural hair color bc you don’t want to destroy your scalp

Everyone likes to watch your group tune their instruments

The fact that you guys tune your instruments by ear and that’s amazing

You accidentally sang a note and everyone’s all

“WHOA.”

You’re just sitting there all confused

Little did you know that you’re singing Giddy Up by The Boyz

And that Kevin is in the group

Bc you’re not into kpop and your friends just wanted to do the song

And it fits with the instruments in a way

When you started, everyone was already cheering, even before the first line even started

Little did you know that the group itself was cruising along and ends up hearing a familiar tune

“What is that?” one of the members ask

“It’s a different song, jacob, don’t worry.” another said

Sangyeon of course

Then they see a giant crowd

Like what?

When the first line was sung, they were all shocked bc it was their songs

Like

SOMEONE KNOWS ABOUT US?

THEY LIKE OUR SONGS?

Ok maybe not like that but they would be surprised

Kevin heard it in his head too and he was confused

So they went to check it out

Which startled the fans, but they managed to get to the front and see who it was

They didn’t know you guys

Kevin’s head didn’t even click on who you were

They stayed there until their song ended

Then the bop played

Aka summer night’s dream

They seemed to like the song and the beat and they even clapped with the fans

Your group looked and noticed them and almost had a heart attack

But they kept playing

Bc you gotta continue with the performance until you’re done

You’re not nervous though, bc you didn’t even notice them

You did that long note and kevin just seems shocked

But then he realized it was your voice that’s been in his head

Still didn’t know that it was you though

After you’re done, they all cheered

Of course you hear a mix of voices, but that one voice sticks out to you the most

You just continue waving to your fans

“Y/N, how do you tune by ear?” a fan asked

“Just practice until you can memorize the tuned notes. Took me so long, but it’s worth it.” you smiled.

Kevin immediately dropped his jaw when he heard your name

“Y/N!?”

You looked over to his direction

Where did that come from?

Then you see someone waving his hands in the air

But at the same time how come they haven’t been trampled over

But also your fans are nice, they wouldn’t do that

You were confused on who it was

He ended up smiling at you and YOU INSTANTLY KNEW WHO IT WAS

Now you’re wondering

How did you forget about him?

Oh wait, because of practice

After you cleaned up, you immediately went to him

“HOLY HECK I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN YEARS!”

“SAME WITH YOU!”

“Dude, you left me though.”

“I’M SORRY!”

Then you guys talked non stop

“Also, do you know about the soulmate thing?” kevin suddenly asks

“What.”

“Soulmates.”

“What about them?”

“I think we’re soulmates.”

“Were you the one asking for a ‘hoya’?”

“M-Maybe…”

“Then we are.”

“HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?”

“YOU’RE THE ONLY PERSON WHO WOULD LITERALLY DO THAT.”

“You’re not wrong…”

Now let’s skip to the part where you two are actually a thing

Ok so we all know you two are a thing

But you two more act like you’re best friends

You guys play fight

Then you guys would just chill

Cuddles?

Casual

Kisses?

No thanks

Kevin’s too awkward for kisses and so are you

When both of your groups hang out, they’re mainly focused on your instruments

And you two are only interested in chilling together

The only person you trust with your guitar is jacob bc he wouldn’t do anything that will damage it

Honestly, you two look like parents watching over kids

Too many kids

Whenever jacob was done, he would return it to you and you would play some notes

Kevin would touch some of the strings

Sometimes you would hit him because you were afraid that he’s going to break one

“Do you not trust me with your guitar?”

“No.”

“Y/N PLEASE.”

Of course you were only kidding

Both of your groups would ask the same question

“Did you guys kiss yet?”

“No???”

“??????? why haven’t you guys?”

“We don’t want to????”

“WHAT’S WRONG WITH KISSING?”

“IT’S G R O S S”

Honestly you guys are just being kids

You guys even treat kissing on the cheek as if you’re kissing another member

Everyone literally tried to get you two to act like a couple

BUT YOU JUST CAN’T

Insert the moment you kissed him on the cheek

CUE THE HIGH PITCH SCREAMING

HIGH AND LOUD ENOUGH THAT YOUR BANDMATES COVERED THEIR EARS

“SHUT UP YOU GUYS ARE LITERALLY DATING?”

“SHUT UP YOU’RE LITERALLY SINGLE??”

“SHUT UP??????”

Literally when are you guys ever serious about dating

To be real, kevin would probably follow you everywhere

But he knows his limits of course

Why hold hands when he can just cling onto your arm?

Why do just that when he can also hold your hand?

He also seems like the type to go to the arcade but watch you play the games instead

Seeing you happy and excited is the best thing that he had dealt with

When you win something, you’d give it to him

“But you won it?”

“But you didn’t do anything?”

“But you deserve it?”

“But I got it for you?”

“But-”

“Just take it”

“Ok”

To be honest, people wouldn’t even know you guys are dating

They just think you guys are just idol friends

You guys would go on night walks, possibly with a camera to video you both

But also an actual camera bc you love taking pictures

Sometimes kevin will just look at the sky and you would just take a picture

And BOY DOES HE LOOK STUNNING

Kevin would also take selfies on both of your phones

Since he’s the taller one and he purposely makes you look short as hell

That’s when you kill him

After your walk, you would go to the cafe

Those that are somehow still open

He’d call you basic for ordering a simple drink

You’d call him a coffee addict and he wouldn’t be sorry about it

Let’s be real, if beyonce was played in a store, he would start dancing

And you would just leave him

Especially in a store

Whether it’s a grocery store or a mall

He’d just yell your name

And you just raise your hand and in an instant he’s already clinging onto your torso

Like d u d e

He’d buy you lots of gifts and take you anywhere

Or let’s you drag him around places

You guys holding hands will probably be the most romantic thing you guys have done without screaming

Sometimes he kisses the back of your hand aka the only affection that you guys don’t scream at

Just

You guys are hella adorable