#if you think its ok to say 'you didn't suffer enough' to someone you know for barely a month

[octochick]

Bagi didn't 'not suffer enough'

Roier is just being an asshole

[pomeloandtv]

She took off her sunglasses and thought.

It was nice to be able to think again. For a change.

How on earth could she ever have believed it was not something that he had planned?

Everything else had been his idea, his project, his execution, why had she believed this wasn't?

Well, for a while thinking had been harder, it was easy to believe anything in that state, but even so …

But that had only been a year. She'd still been smart for a long time before that.

It had started five years ago.

Maybe it had started earlier?

But her memory of it started five years ago.

A growing pain over six months

First unease, something wrong

"Hi Julia!"

Growing to an inner, unexpressed cringe, that's not me

"Happy birthday Julia"

Then wanting to snap at people whenever it happened

"Julia, can you …."

Thinking "That's not my name!" but biting her tongue every single time.

Having to introduce herself had been the worst

"Hi, I'm … Julia" [ugh]

Taking 5 minutes to fill out a form when meeting a surgeon for a consultation. Not wanting to write anything down, but knowing there was nothing else to write down

FIRST NAME: …

But who am I then? If that is not me, who is me?

And then one morning after about six months she had woken up and her name, her real name, her true name was bright and golden in her mind. Everything was so obvious.

And a middle name too? She had a middle name on her birth certificate, but it had never been part of her identity. She could go years without thinking about it.

But now she absolutely had a middle name

Elation. Her name revealed to her.

It was beautiful.

And it was her.

But, she didn't tell anyone. She suffered for another three months.

She engaged in occasional unknown petty acts of rebellion.

Going to the coffee shop when she knew no one was there, making her order, giving her name, "Coffee for …", walking out with her trophy, sometimes her name hidden, pointing towards her, sometimes pointing to the world, depending on how brave she felt.

Baristas with bad writing were her favourite. No need to hide the name.

One morning, she snapped in front of her husband

"Julia, we'll start the …"

"NO!"

He said nothing, waiting

Oh my God, was she really about to tell someone?

"What's wrong"

All the words came out at once

"Thatsnotmyname ImeanIknowitismyname butIhateit Idontwantit itsnotmyrealname pleasedontcallmethat Icanttakeitanymore itisjusttoomuch everyonecallsmethatanditismakingmeinsane ItriedbutIcantlivelikethisanymore"

"Ok, I'll call you anything you want"

Oh God, here it came, she paused too long

"Is there another name you'd prefer?"

"My name is Sweetie, with an i and an e at the end"

And the weight was lifted, and she was now Sweetie to him, and a few weeks later she even told him her middle name.

And he had loved her new name, and delighted in using it

And things at home had been wonderful

But it was still only him who knew

The world did not and she hated the world for it and she was at least a little bit sad in it all the time

And he told her she would have to tell people her true name.

And she had.

And though some people accepted it, a lot of people had hated it.

She understood that it was … a non-standard name, one which carried societal meaning. But that was society's fault, not hers.

One of her friends refused. They weren't friends anymore.

Others were slow to adapt, but they did.

Her parents were a bigger problem. She wasn't prepared to cut them off over this, yet, but she did reduce contact.

Eventually they came around.

They still didn't understand.

But they understood enough to know that it wasn't important whether or not they understood.

On her birthday they baked her a cake with her name in icing.

Her middle name wasn't included.

But that was OK.

She reserved its use for more formal settings. Like work. Friends and family could just call her Sweetie.

But her husband knew how much she loved the middle name too and would call her that and she loved hearing it from him.

"Sweetie Muffins" he would say to her in the morning, when he felt her stirring, and she would sigh happilly.

Sometimes just "Muffins" to be cute.

Things got better.

She looked at some pictures on her phone.

Here was dinner and champagne to celebrate her new legally-changed name.

Pictures of each of the days her driver's license or credit cards arrived.

Sweetie Muffins Baudin

Middle name included, her old middle name never having been.

She was finally herself, Sweetie to her friends, Sweetie Muffins to the wider more formal world.

Occassionally she met resistance to her name from strangers, but that was their problem. Not hers.

Then other big changes came

It got harder to think or to focus.

But she knew that was because of him.

And she knew he wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't what she really wanted.

She never remembered a hypnosis session, but over the years it had become clear to her that he brought her under nearly every day.

And then she had to leave her job.

Which was good. She used to love her job long ago but now she hated it.

But she hadn't told her job she wanted to leave, her job had told her she had to leave.

She kind of remembered the conversation in her boss's office.

She had been confused. She was always confused. But OK.

It was nice like this.

Everyone was so nice to her.

People smiled at her more, or told her not to worry, or that it was going to be OK.

People did things for her.

She could just be nice to people and no one expected anything of her.

Then her boobs got bigger, again

She remembered the pain and the recovery but not much about the decision.

Her husband had took her to a doctor where she had smiled and pretended to understand, but focusing on long sentences was hard

How had he done that to her? So delicious.

And the doctor had smiled at her and she had smiled back. And said "yes", or "I need to think about that" but not much else.

Later, (how much time had passed?) she was in surgery.

And then pain and weight for a while and then bigger boobs.

She liked them a lot.

Everybody else seemed to.

Some of her friends would squeeze them for luck, and she would giggle, and her friends would pat her head.

And there were other changes.

Like her first boob job, he'd already made changes to her face, before, when thinking was easy.

But now he made more.

She looked at some old pictures.

She had always thought of herself as beautiful before, before she met him even.

But now ….

And then one day her husband had told her she would be getting a tattoo on her ass.

He'd picked her other tattoos of course, just as he had when she had been smarter.

She had tried to think of something to say in reply. She pursed her lips.

"What will this tattoo be of Daddy?"

"Your name"

"My name?"

"Sweetie Muffins"

"I love my name!"

He had laughed warmly. "It's a great name"

"I really love my name!"

"Well, if you ever forget it, and its possible with that silly head of yours, you can just look at your ass to remember it"

"Ok?" she had smiled back, replaying what he had said. He had said a lot. A knot appearing on her forehead. "Oh! I get it!"

She had her intelligence back now

Four months ago he'd stopped performing whatever conditioning he had been doing that made it hard to focus.

She'd been back to herself for a few weeks now, adjusting.

She said she'd like to be turned back, made stupid again, he had promised he would.

But for now, he wanted to see the light of understanding in her eyes.

"And there is a different pleasure you will get in comprehending. So we can have fun with that too"

Later; "maybe I'll just make you dumb for other people", he had mused

"If you want, but it was nice to be dumb for you too"

She came inside from the patio and looked at herself in the mirror.

So gorgeous

He had told her yesterday he'd be pumping her lips back up.

"Back up", she had asked? "They were bigger?"

"They were a lot bigger last year, they've come down since. Look at your old Instagram pics"

Those were big

Seeing made her remember

They had been huge in her field of vision.

Her lips were still big, well beyond her natural size, still visible in her field of vision.

But not like those old ones.

"I'm remembering something, uh, did I have trouble talking or something? I seem to remember … a feeling … it was difficult …"

"We had a bit of botox placed behind the middle of your top lip. It made it harder for you to form the shapes needed to pronounce certain sounds. You were adorable"

"I remember, … uh, can we do it again? I mean, I'd like to experience it now"

He had winked.

"Will you do that again, I mean, if you make me stupid again will you make changes to me I don't understand?"

"That's a guarantee. I'll make some temporary changes that go away like those lips. But I'll make permanent changes too like your tits"

"uhhhh, yes please, whatever you want"

She took off her dress and looked at her ass in the mirror. At her tattoo.

She got a second hand-held mirror so she could see what other people saw. Without mirror writing.

Sweetie Muffins

It was her name.

Nothing felt more real to her than that.

She was Sweetie Muffins

Funny how a middle name had never mattered before. Now it was just one grade below being the second part of a double-barralled first name.

She had always been Sweetie Muffins, even when she had been Julia Falkner, or Julia Grace Falkner according to her birth cert.

She would always be Sweetie Muffins.

She didn't want to be anything else.

She loved the tattoo.

It was cute and sweet. Like her.

Visible in a bikini, or in the gym changing room.

He had installed a small gym at home, but she wasn't allowed use it.

She had asked why, now that her smarts were back, it had occurred to her that it was weird that she went to the gym.

"I like that you have to work out around people in your sports bra and booty shorts"

"Besides, you need things to do all day, and going to the gym can be one of them"

That was true. She'd been getting bored as her intelligence came back. What had she done all day before with no work to go to?

Clothes shopping certainly. She hadn't asked him about it yet, but she hadn't found any of her old clothes.

Everything she had now was more colourful, attention-attracting.

And the only more-plainly-coloured items were all tighter, shorter, lower-cut.

She'd taken to wearing these items - like the black cocktail dress she'd just taken off - just to not feel like an explosion in a paint factory

She looked from the dress on the floor back to her tattoo

Sweetie Muffins, the tattoo said to her

"That's you", it said to her

"That's me", she said to herself

"I'm Sweetie Muffins"

The name was intrinsic to her

Everyone should know who I am.

All this was true for her

All this would always be true for her

Even now having learned the truth.

She had never seen herself under before.

But he had shown her a video of the first hypnosis session where he had began the work of changing her name.

Making her feel disgust at Julia

Implanting her need for Sweetie Muffins.

And she knew it never would have taken, her mind would have rejected it, had she not wanted it

She was Sweetie Baudin

Sweetie Muffins Baudin for more formal occasions.

[sideprince]

I've seen the same post a hundred times now. Sometimes it's a few days old, sometimes it's from years ago, but it's always the same. Some anti posts about how they don't understand how anyone can like Snape because he was so awful, and then there's a long reply that goes something like, "imagine this happens to you, and then this, and then this" to describe Snape's experience. Sometimes there's some James Potter hate thrown in.

Look. You can go through describing a character's entire experience but you don't really need to. Here's the thing that antis don't understand:

For all her faults (and they're big, bigoted ones) Rowling understood a really integral part of the human experience and conveyed it through Snape. Everyone needs love and to feel accepted. It's that simple. Snape became a Death Eater to seek acceptance (Rowling has confirmed this, though I can't remember the source - whoever wants to add it please do), because it was the only way he could find any.

Snape's understanding of morality, like everyone's, is subjective. Some readers understand this and some don't. When faced against a morality that says there is good and bad in the world, everyone makes choices based on their personal experience. Context is everything. Someone who experiences pain and suffering will not see the person inflicting it on them as moral. That's it. 'How can this person be good when they caused me so much suffering?' = human psychology. Most of the people who think 'I'm a bad person and deserve this' have been gaslit and abused into thinking so, because it's not a natural reaction - it's one that has to often be socialized into someone at a young age, exactly because it's not natural. Everyone is the hero of their own story; no one sees themselves as a villain, because they see the valid aspects of their own perspective.

You can write essays on how vulnerable people needing acceptance is what cults and fascists exploit to recruit vulnerable people, or on how the standard anti's un-nuanced reading of Snape both ignores canon and displays a disturbing lack of empathy or compassion, but at its core it just boils down to context. From Snape's perspective he experienced cruelty, therefore the people inflicting it must be cruel. Again, it's that simple. He was a person, like any other, except he was fictional so he wasn't even real. On the flip side is James Potter, who, for all his faults, didn't get to live long enough to get a chance to change and grow unlike Snape, and I think the Snapedom also needs to acknowledge that.

They're fictional characters representing things an author wants to say, not sports teams, not martyrs, and not all good or all bad emblems that define your identity depending on how you feel about them. It's depressing how much time is wasted arguing with bullies and trolls whether from the Marauders fandom or just random antis. I literally can't find more than three blogs to follow without this argument coming across my feed daily. I know the Snapedom is Not OK™ and that's kind why we're all here, and I know that my take is super unpopular but like Snape, I don't care what others think: this fandom has been having the exact same argument for years and nothing has changed. There's fanart and meta and fic and so much content out there appreciating this character, you're not going to change an anti's mind who's deliberately trolling in the tags, so why are you trying? What are you getting out of it? What does it give you? It's exhausting just scrolling past it.

[garfunklefield]

Still crave your kiss

Sanji/Zoro Roronoa Warnings: Ambiguously pre-time skip, oblivious Zoro, gay denial, fluff, miscommunication, chopper being a cute little doctor, chopper also being a therapist, Zoro is really bad at cooking, love confessions, kind of ambiguous and open ending, humor Word count: 5187 DESC: Sanji never liked that stupid brute, or how big he was. Or well... he thought he didn't.

Ok last zosan for today its 4 AM

NOTES: I started writing this at 7 AM before class with no direction!! I didn't really know where this was going to end up but I thought the premise was cute enough. I just like the idea of Zoro being so stupid yet so brooding, nothing goes on up there. And I also liked the idea of Sanji being kind of oblivious of his own feelings like he doesn't even know they've turned romantic! All of this though, was inspired by my reading of Not Quite Right by DamianFinch! I'm gonna be honest I read that like twice it was so good, and it's something I always think about when writing Zoro romantically. It's just SO ACCURATE. Give them some love!! And yes Mr. Tony Tony himself made an appearance. I just started One Piece though so my characterization is better on Zoro than Sanji or Chopper :/

It was hard to discern if Zoro was oblivious or acting like it on purpose. How could he fight like no one was watching, then the cook would ask a simple task of him and he was all bark and no bite? Of course, when someone says, “Can you take over look out for me while I shower tonight?” That’s what you mean! There was always so much explanation with him rather than a simple statement or question. Which was why interacting with the mosshead was all the more frustrating. Why should he have to explain why he wanted to shower now when he could wait until the dead of night, or god forbid the morning?

The swordsman had to have been suffering some sort of brain injury from all that fighting. Perhaps he got hurt and never had Chopper bandaged the wound, so it seeped into his brain and made him stupid. But no … he was always this level of idiotic. Even when he tried to be careful, late at night when gathering his daily dose of alcohol to binge, he managed to screw it up being so- so huge! Not like Sanji was even paying attention to how ginormous he was all the time, no, it was a fact. Marimo was just that, gigantic. His arms bumped into everything he tried to squeeze past and, god, his chest was abhorrently big. He would be envious if he cared, which he didn’t. 

On a day like this, well night actually, Sanji was tasked with watching the ship. It was a boring task but led him to be able to smoke in peace, without someone bothering him before he was able to snub his cigarette and pull out a new one. Well, it was, until he heard that thumping. Even when Zoro tried to quiet his footsteps, he could still hear him. 

“Those are bad for you,” he said, as he always did, trying to be charming but sounding like a total ass to the cook's ears. How could someone fuck up such a classic line? I mean, he’d heard it in movies and TV shows but really, he nailed it [and that of course was sarcastic].

“What is it.” Vinsmoke didn’t even look up from his post, which was a barrel he pushed to the edge of the ship to look out across the black water. It was pretty, especially when it was a foggy night like this. The moon was hazily cast over the water, rippling with each crash of the waves. Kind of romantic, maybe if Nami had approached him instead of that beast. Where was she anyway? Probably asleep in some cute pajamas, or combing her lustrous hair. Why couldn’t Zoro be more like her? Pretty and assertive, without being a total jackass. 

It was silent for a moment as the swordsman approached the cook, standing beside him in the dark. It was kind of illuminated, A by the moon, and B by some lanterns hung up around the entrance to the boat's innards. When he didn’t speak, or breathe loudly, he was nice company. Sanji had to admit when they would do dishes together or even sit in the same vicinity, it was nice to feel the warmth radiating off his body. He was like a damn bear, or better yet a heating pad. That’s all his body mass was good for, heat. If he opened his mouth, it would ruin the small moment they were about to share. And knowing him, he would within seconds.

“Made you something,” Roronoa gruffed, with that tone he always used. Maybe he didn’t realize, well if he was stupid he most definitely didn’t realize [and Sanji was beginning to clearly doubt his neurological standings], but that tone was completely condescending. It was like he was too proud to show emotions, so he hid behind this caveman mask of grunting and scoffing. Pissed him off entirely he barely registered the words, before he did. 

Made him something? Why would that dense guy make him anything? When all they did was yell back and forth, fighting like little girls? Well, very muscular and blood-lusting little girls. Sanji blinked a few times and glanced to his side, finally making eye contact with that damn swordsman. His eyes were already on him, staring with that same indifference he always had. God! Show emotions like a normal person! Why was he so hard to read, and why did it always piss the blonde off? Even Usopp was easier to read [let’s face it anyone is easier to read]. 

Without speaking, the man lifted his hand to show a plate- a plate? The cook’s brow furrowed as he stared at it. It was a piece of the worst food he had ever seen prepared in his life. It looked utterly burnt, completely undercooked also[??], and somehow oozing. It appeared to be bread with some kind of eggs misshapen-ly forced on top, then layered with cheese. The sight was enough to bring any chef of 20 years into tears. 

“Marimo,” Sanji let out a breath, “What the hell is that?” That was all he could say without bursting into flames. Why the hell would Zoro prepare him such crap? Was this some kind of joke to make him mad on purpose? Okay fine! Where are the cameras then? 

Yet, Zoro … flushed? He seemed a bit, well, oddly enough, embarrassed. A weird yet subtle expression formed on his face as he motioned to the burnt catastrophe, “On that island, I found a recipe book. I thought you’d like a snack. It’s toast with eggs and cheese.” 

I thought you’d like a snack. 

…

Thwunk.

Thwunk Thwunk Thwunk.

The cook's heart was beating, that’s all he could focus on, the beating. It was beating incredibly fast, faster than it ever had when interacting with that stupid plant. But why was it beating? Why the hell would it be beating especially when seeing this disaster of a dish? He had to have been angry, that had to be the feelings overtaking his very body, sending a chill down his spine and making his cheeks all prickly. 

“You…” He hesitated, trying to find the words. The man wasn’t entirely sure what he was feeling, so he wasn’t sure how to form any words to say thank you. He had said thank you to Zoro in the past, so why was it so hard now? “Didn’t have to… Moss … head.” That was all Sanji ended up mustering out, an awkward smile gracing his lips. 

“It’s shit. I know.” Zoro replied, without giving him a chance to respond, “I’m not a cook, but can’t say I didn’t try, curly.” He pressed his lips together in something the blonde hadn’t seen before either. Was this disappointment? This was the most emotion he had seen from that stupid bastard and it was one of the negative ones! He didn’t mean to be that big of a dick, I mean it was a nice gesture after all. The least he could say was thank you, so why was it so hard to get out?

“Moss-” He tried but was cut short when the swordsman turned, taking the plate with him back inside. “I’ll go throw it out.” Was what Sanji’s words were spoken over with. God, well this stunk. He never meant to hurt his feelings. None of their bickering ever got to him, and he surely didn’t think it got to Zoro. So why was this the thing that made him actually upset? Was he really trying? Was he making a gesture? Oh god- was this some early birthday present?

What Sanji had failed to even consider was that maybe this was a romantic gesture! When it crossed his mind he shook it away, but it continued to linger. What if that brute was trying to confess something? I mean, he always had a softer gaze when they would talk [when he wasn’t being a total pain in the ass]. And he always had the cooks back in a fight. But everyone had each other's backs in a fight so that couldn’t count. He cleaned his plate every time he ate, even if it was a dish he hated. No matter what, it was bone try, and neatly placed in the sink. For being a total dunce, he had some manners when it came to food. 

Vinsmoke admired that. He never wasted a meal and that was something that meant a lot to him. I mean, he was always trying to get the cook's attention, too. To the point where it was aggravatingly annoy- oh my god he has a crush on me.

And oh my god I just crushed his heart.

The realization was prematurely about to make the man sick. Well, at least he thought he was going to be sick. His heart, which never stopped roaring in his ears, was thrumming profusely in his chest, and there was a strange feeling building in the back of his throat. It was a dry, hoarse feeling, with a lump forming too. God- what the hell! Figuring out a woman had a crush on him was never this damning, never this depressing! At least, he assumed this had to be depression. Or maybe an ailment. Maybe he was dying! Because there was no way in hell he liked that man back.

Well, [aside from the obvious facts that Sanji was not gay and if he was he would have taste] he was in a bit of shit. He didn’t want to hurt the man's feelings with his reaction but it was somewhat involuntary. I mean the food truly looked awful, how else was he supposed to react? Besides, it wasn’t like the stupid moss always did nice things for him, or him to the moss. They always poked at each other, what was different? Romance was in play, or at least he highly suspected it.

He frowned. He just hated to make anyone upset, even if it was Zoro. The cook got up from his barrel and followed the plant inside to find him standing over the sink with a gloomy aura permeating his mere existence. Now this was depressing, not whatever he was feeling a few moments ago. The man really did it. He was the big asshole who hurt his friend [even though it pained him to admit it, they were friends], without even trying. 

“Zoro…” Sanji breathed out, staring at him. What could he say that would make a difference? I’m sorry it was shit and also I’m not into you like that but you tried? That was too mean. Maybe: I’m not gay but you slayed- That feels homophobic. 

The swordsman looked over at him, a different look on his face. This was an emotion he knew all too well on Zoro. It was the look of shame or mere defeat. It was something he sported when he’d lose a fight and have to slump down in the corner while the rest of the crew fought mercilessly for him, in his honor. He hated anyone ever risking their lives for him, and he hated having to watch it. Vinsmoke assumed that this was in the same vein. Being rejected was the same kind of feeling as being defeated in a humiliating way. 

“I…” He hesitated. The truth or something much sweeter? Well, he would have gone with something sweeter if he hadn’t said the first thing that came to his mind, “I’m not gay.” 

. 

..

…

The moss blinked a few times before furrowing his brow ever slightly as he always did when a puzzle would arise, “Huh?” Well now you did it Sanji, his voice echoed into his cranium, you’ve totally embarrassed yourself in front of your friend. At this point he was beginning to fill with such embarrassment he didn’t even recoil at the thought of calling Zoro his friend, what character development! The cook shuddered and stared at him incredulously as if the other was the one who spouted such weird bullshit. One hand searched before dramatically clutching the collar of his shirt. Well, if he wasn’t in shit then he was in shit now. 

Just to recap all of Sanji Vinsmoke’s current fuck ups: Insulting a man's food when he was trying to confess [or at least he’s under the assumption it was a confession], then instead of apologizing- he stated he wasn’t gay; Which is an insult to Zoro, implying he was hitting on the cook with no evidence to back this up. Overall, this was looking utterly awful for the blonde, and he was feeling it.

“Cook did you think I was-” Zoro began but it was cut off by a strangled noise from the other. Whatever he did, he could not have that dunce say it out loud. Then he’d be the real jackass. Clearly, he had misread or something. How could the great Roronoa Zoro also like dick? I mean, he kind of looked zesty if he squinted … and he always had a thing for very muscular swordsmen. To the cook, he just kind of assumed. But wrongly so! [Apparently] Because he wasn’t gay and he had just made his assumption very known. Great. 

“No-no-no … no.” Sanji placed another hand on his hair, lightly patting it a few times before putting his hand down. Something, anything would be better than this. And he had a few tortuous places in mind he’d rather be in than ever publicly assuming a manly man's sexuality in front of him. 

Marimo’s eyebrows were down to his eyelids, squinting and scowling back at the blonde as he was trying to wrap his head around this almost foreign concept. Had he never even thought about romance or was he just playing stupid? God!! He was stupid! I mean, everyone on that boat had thought about each other in one way or another while being trapped for months at a time, with no one else to socialize with but… well, each other! Of course, even as a straight male, Sanji had to admit he had thought about his friend a few times late at night. But everyone had to, right? It was totally normal to picture your bro oiled up, right?

“Why did you think I was being romantic, curly?” Roronoa finally spoke, rasping it from the base of his throat as if it was physically paining him to talk. It was strained and delicate, almost above a whisper. Did he not know? Did he really not know what would lead him to think like that? Maybe he really was concussed, or seriously injured. He’d have to have Chopper look him over soon. 

The cook pressed his lips together before the other cut him off again, “Did you want me to?” Now Sanji’s mouth was hanging open. 

“Why do you think I want you to?!?” His voice was taking on a higher tone as he desperately tried not to scream, or worse faint. 

Want him to? Why in the history of ever would Vinsmoke ever want that plant to make moves on him? Why in the history of ever would he ask for that? He was straight!!! He was so very straight! The last thing he wanted was those burly arms wrapped around his torso as they lay together on a hammock. Or his body warmth keeping him cozy late at night. Or his light snoring rumbling in his chest as Sanji would lay upon it, dreaming soundly knowing Zoro was there to pro- woah. 

“Well you thought I was being romantic,” Zoro spoke in an obvious tone, almost as if to say ‘duh’. 

“You were trying to make me food!!” He pointed one wobbly finger in the swordsman’s direction which was shot down by the bigger man’s hand. The green-haired male pushed the cook's hand down and gave him a look. It was … different. Out of all the things the narrator hasn’t unpacked yet, this would be the first. The look was soft and mature, almost nurturing. It was to say, ‘It's okay you don’t have to do all that for me’. Or more on the nose, ‘You dumb fucking shit let me explain.’

Before though, can we just as a collective take in what the hell Sanji’s fantasy was? His mind had been trying desperately not to think about what led him down such a domestic path, but he couldn’t figure out why. I mean, he already knew Zoro’s body warmth was inviting. So maybe it was normal to have his mind wander to laying on his plush chest and having his rough hands play with his hair? That had to be normal, either way, he was having Chopper check him out in the morning.

“You haven’t eaten all day,” he spoke lightly, but god was it condescending, “I was trying to make sure our damn cook wouldn’t die out here without something to eat.” Oh. So it … wasn’t actually … romantic… Vinsmoke found himself swallowing the harsh reality slowly, his heartbeat fading from his ears and the thrumming in his chest coming to a stop. Oh. That’s exactly what he wanted right? For it not to be gay so he could have a peaceful night, right?

“Then why did you,” he trailed off quietly, “Look upset?” 

“Because you were being an asshole, idiot!” Zoro raised his hand and promptly hit the cook upside the head, “Sheesh! Did no one teach you manners?” So he had completely misread the entire scenario. That would be fine, that would be amazing actually, if it didn’t stop him from thinking. Why was it that this was making a hollow pit form in his stomach? I mean, he had the scare and his body started going insane, but now that the threat had vacated the premises… he was lonely. Or at least, his bodily reactions were telling him so. In his brain, Sanji wasn’t sure what to think. He never wanted to hurt Zoro. And to see him defeated and then hear the chance that this was all due to some kind of romantic interest? It was … kind of interesting. 

-

The next morning he knew where he was going to go. Sanji could barely sleep, tossing and turning with his mind buzzing. Why did he somewhat wish Zoro had actually been interested in him? Why was there some part of him that was interested in the whole affair, even though up until now he had only been interested in women? Well, that part wasn’t entirely true. There had been a few men growing up who caught his eye, but he attributed it to liking their fashion sense more than liking their face. Even when he thought about them domestically, he never thought it was anything short of, ‘everyone fantasizes about their bros!’ Apparently not! Now it was something else, something medical.

So there he set off to find Chopper, who was deep inside the ship teetering away on a book. He was just scribbling down on it as he referenced other books, all sprawled out on the floor. From the looks of it, he was deep in whatever he was working on, so the cook partially felt a bit bad coming up and interrupting it. 

“Uh, Chopper?” He tilted his head to the side, watching as the small deer perked up and grinned at him as he always did. He was so happy to see anyone, and it warmed his heart a bit. 

“Hi, Sanji!” The kid replied, sitting up and putting his pen down, “What’s wrong?” Of course, he knew something was up. He typically came to the little doctor if something was bothering him physically, but he’s a doctor so mental stuff is … probably the same thing!

“I have a … predicament.” The cook knelt, before plopping down on his backside and leaning his head back, “It’s kind of personal.” The deer nodded his head and looked from left to right to ensure no one else was looking, before letting him continue. How was he even to begin? 

“I think I have a brain-eating parasite who’s making me go insane.”

…

Chopper shot up, screaming out, “WHAT!? SANJI TELL ME EVERYTHING!!” He ran to his little medical bag, pulling out a thermometer to check the man’s temperature with haste. Well, that was the conclusion Sanji had gotten to. There was no way he was actually gay, or even liked Zoro for that matter, but something was making him act up. If he could figure it out, it would solve all his issues. Maybe then he’d be able to relax and stop thinking about him in those ways. 

It wasn’t even in a perverted manner, which was stranger than usual. All he could think about was Zoro and his face, how it would contort into a pleased yet content smile. Or how he was such a big idiot who finished all his food, even when he hated it, just for Sanji. Or how he was really wondering if those big pecs made for good pillows as he had suspected. 

“When did this start!?” The doctor prodded, pushing the thermometer into the cook's mouth. 

“Last night,” he spoke muffled, “I was talking to Zoro and I thought he was hitting on me-” Chopper took the thermometer out of his mouth and pulled out a small sleeve, and a little hand pump to check his blood pressure, slinging it around Sanji’s arm, “-and my body started acting up. When he told me he wasn’t, it started acting up even more.” 

The deer began to squeeze the bump quickly, before he let go and narrowed his eyes at the man, “Acting up how?” 

“Well, my heartbeat was super loud and my face was red. I couldn’t really speak and my throat was dry,” Vinsmoke explained, watching the little one pull off the sleeve to measure his blood pressure and instead go to rummage in his bag. He rummaged for a moment, before pulling out a small clipboard and a pair of thin, boxy black glasses. Perfect, just for his small face. 

“And this was when you thought Zoro was hitting on you? How about afterward?” He raised a small eyebrow, looking from the clipboard to the blonde. This was a pretty normal ritual of getting diagnosed with Chopper, although it had fewer clipboards and more medical equipment. Either way, he didn’t think too much about what was going on, instead thinking about how he felt. 

Well, he felt empty when he realized Zoro didn’t like him and wasn’t, in fact, hitting on him. That’s what Sanji told the doctor. He explained how he felt a hollow pit in his stomach as if all of his senses stopped and poured into that pit. It was a show that had stopped mid-frame on a VHS, glitching with some static. All you could see was the one frame as it glitched over and over. It was a hollow feeling, something that a brain-eating cancer was most definitely causing. Maybe it caused that other feeling, too. The overly intense heartbeat, a rush of heat to his face, and the fact his hands couldn’t focus. They were in his hair or perhaps his pant pocket, anywhere but idle. 

Chopper listened as the cook described it, letting him go into detail and even more detail. It was nice to have someone to listen to him ramble, even if it was about a hypothetical parasite. Once he was done describing, the little doctor sighed and tapped his clipboard, “Well, Sanji. You have a really bad case…” Sanji’s expression fell, “...Of a crush on Zoro!” What.

Sanji blinked once. Then twice. Then three times. Then seven. Then maybe fifteen? He couldn’t stop blinking and staring. No. There was no way he had a crush on Zoro and there was no way he had just confessed that to the little blabbermouth, the swordsman was closest to. 

“I .. do not,” the blonde-haired male forced out through a gritted awkward smile, “I think it’s just cancer.” 

“No, it’s a crush.” Chopper smiled cheerfully, “Chin up! I prescribed him the same medicine!” 

“Oh what, like he also has a crush on me?” I do not but hypothetically if I do. The deer looked up from the clipboard with a wide-eyed expression. Oh, he had said too much hadn’t he? 

“Um! No…?” He looked away and put the clipboard on the ground, trying his best to avoid eye contact. So … Zoro had a crush on Sanji? He lied about his romantic advances toward him, what, so as not to get hurt? Well, it would make sense, he couldn’t deny that look of shame and disappointment Marimo was donning when he was seemingly rejected. That meant he made him that crap salad for more than just a simple reason of ‘I didn’t want you to starve’. He made it with some romantic inclination involved, hoping that the cook would have a heartfelt moment with him. Clearly, that didn’t happen.

What was that going to mean now? From what he told Chopper it was clear he was feeling some type of way too [although if he could help it, it would be the brain-eating parasite], and knowing the little thing he’d be telling the moss soon enough. What would his reaction be, to finding out Sanji was secretly some gay fiend who rejected him with such poor word choices? And god! Just that! Sanji had rejected him, calling him out in the worst way possible because he couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut. 

Now he had so much to think about because he had to say something soon or it would be ruined by the little twerp of a deer doctor. The blonde wanted to tell Zoro how he felt even if he wasn’t too sure himself. Clearly, it was affection, and clearly, it was of the romantic kind. Maybe it was admiration that turned romantic, with an insatiable urge to just … get closer. Sanji wasn’t even sure when his friendly comradery turned into something more delicate. None of his other feelings had changed, I mean he still really hated him. But now that he thought about it, he looked at the moss differently and with more care than anyone else. And after a fight, he’d always bring him something as a peace offering, like some orange juice. 

God, he was obvious. Did Marimo think he had a chance and then was it ruined by his stupid mouth? That had to be it. Of course that was it! Vinsmoke was just an asshole who was ruining his only shot at being somewhat domestic on this pirate ship. 

He had to have a plan of some kind to get Zoro to see he was actually reciprocating his feelings. Something to lure him in and get trapped with emotions. What Sanji ended up deciding on was walking up to him and handing him a letter, enclosed in an envelope and sealed with wax on the outside. Inside it wrote, ‘My room right now.’ The cook had about five minutes to get to his actual room and clean it up a bit before he heard the door open [because why would Marimo even bother knocking?]

“Curly,” Zoro spoke, blinking a few times in greeting as he stepped inside. The man turned around and tried to smile at him, but it looked too awkward. He felt too awkward. How did people even propose their feelings to one another anyway? Sanji had seen some TV but it was too dramatic. Nothing ever felt right or even natural when he would watch it. He could have started with some lines, but it wasn’t right. 

“Moss,” he greeted back, pressing his lips together before ending the awkward tension [or making it worse], “I’m actually not, not gay.” And he was already fucking it up again. A searing burn of embarrassment flowed through the cook's face, making a home on his cheeks. They were red, he could sense it. Especially from his friend's face, he could definitely sense it. 

Roronoa looked a bit confused, but also somewhat smug? It was hard to describe the vibes he was getting from the stone-carved male. It was kind of an ‘I was right’ smug smirk, although his brows were furrowed in a bit of confusion. He wasn’t sure what was happening but he was on the right track for once, or at least it appeared that way. 

“You’re … not, not gay?” He raised one brow as he spoke slowly, almost enunciating every word. Just in a way that pissed him off. God, when Sanji was done confessing to that moss-head, he was going to kick his ass. 

He nodded, “But I know that… for some of us, that’s a shock, like me. I wasn’t … aware I was into men until earlier today.” Trying to keep some kind of semblance of a nonchalant aura, Vinsmoke put two of his hands into his pants pockets, looking away as he continued, “And I think I’m into you.” There it was. There was the sentence he had been practicing time and time again in the mirror until he got it right and damn, he got it right. Well, he was pretty sure he did. The cook was trying his hardest not to look at the swordsman, fearing it would make him want to jump off the side of the boat. 

It was silent for a few more moments before he looked at the moss, watching him with a wary eye. Zoro’s expression was new. It was shock. It was pure unadulterated shock. Something he had never seen from him, even when fighting terrifying beasts and annoying villains. Nothing really shocked him … as much as this? Was it really that shocking to believe that he had reciprocated feelings for a man he spent almost every second of every day with? A man that he, well to be fair, outwardly hated. 

“Sanji…” He breathed out, looking at him with wide eyes. Sanji wanted to speak, to laugh and tell him it was real, but he was stuck in the pool of his eyes. They were … they were big and dark, filled with emotion. Emotion he hadn’t seen in so long, or practically ever. He reached his hand out, just inching it toward the man before him. Roronoa didn’t even notice the slender man’s fingers on his wrist, walking toward him. 

“Zoro…” The cook whispered back, trying to maintain eye contact. No one ever told him what came after this. What came after the confessions or when you asked women out on dates? Presumably the date and presumably a kiss … right? Maybe that’s what the stupid Marimo was waiting for. Sanji was clearly more experienced [not really but you know whatever], so he should have been the one taking the lead and kissing him! He should have been the one biting the bullet and pressing their lips together. So why was he stuck staring into the other man's eyes? To be frank, it felt more intimate than kissing ever could’ve been.

This was the beginning of something special.

[nightfall-1409]

like its ok to wish that hunter did more to get crosshair out but i will say PLEASE stop saying that rescuing the literal helpless child from the child murdering fascists was somehow wrong of Hunter.

also like. can we stop undermining the very clear and obvious way that crosshair liked the power that he was given in the empire, especially over others, he was radicalized. he convinced himself that the war crimes were justified in the name of power. that is a far bigger problem and something that is going to haunt him far longer and requires a lot more to undo and forgive (and some people will never and should never do that, and others can't bc they are Dead)

to say it was all the effects of the chips, at this point in the series, its just not true. the events of aftermath specifically are 100% the chip. Everything after that is up for debate. We don't know when it was taken out, but at some point it was, and crosshair's pov is that it doesn't matter when, bc he likes where he's at. Had he not been abandoned by the empire on Kamino for so long, I doubt he would have ever changed, had Cody not deserted after confronting him about what it was the clones were doing, I doubt he would have ever changed. Had he not been forced to see Mayday's struggle and fight to bring him home and still after everything they both gave after everything suffered mayday died not in battle but because someone couldn't be bothered to even try to help him, I don't think he would have changed. I don't think Hunter could talk him out of it, and maybe he didn't try hard enough, or really, at all. Crosshair's version of loyalty, though, is blind, unquestioning, a soldiers loyalty. Obeying what they were doing, things that Hunter couldn't obey, and would have made him a monster to do.

But I can't imagine the disgust I would be forced to contend with if like, my family member came forward like "oh yes we're built to be soldiers, that doesn't mean preserving or protecting innocents, It means power and killing those who get in my way. its my purpose in life and i think you're stupid for not getting over the moral objections" like what do you even say to that. Hunter at that point had SEEN what the empire was doing. They both had, their home planet, (and head canons aside, all clones did in fact, in canon, see it as their home.) orbitally bombarded to secure power. How do you talk someone out of that, if fundamentally what your disagreement is on the value of life. You don't. Hence Hunter's demands in S3E5 to know what changed. What finally made Crosshair realize what he believed, about power and his purpose, was wrong.

Crosshair didn't want out. Crosshair was upset they didn't stay. He saw their purpose as being with the Empire. They escaped and ran and deserted. If they weren't with him, in the Empire, then they should die, like the Jedi, and Crosshair did absolutely believe that.

So this is all to say that. they are not equally responsible for what happened to their squad. Crosshair didn't have a choice at first— but once he did keep running right over that line. And a lot of us hoped that he was lying about the chip, that he wasn't entirely responsible for all that he did. But he was. That's clear at this point.

Even the whole chip matter— it's prolly really hard for Hunter to separate it. logically, he knows it was partially the chip at this point. But at that point in the story he watched someone he was incredibly close to nearly kill them all and at the time he had no idea why. If Hunter'd not grabbed Omega by the leg and tripped her she would be shot dead. If omega hadn't surprised Crosshair by shooting his gun out of his hand he would have killed Hunter. He shot wrecker, to use him as bait against the rest of them? Like, again, we all knew about the chip, but I can understand the emotional toll of such a thing bc he DIDNT at the time. The betrayal in that moment? How do you let it go?

But thats all fine! its interesting its character development and its the story they were determined to tell. But like. we can be honest.

Now if someone thinks that im wrong i'd love to know what exactly hunter needs to be sorry about, and why he's equally responsible that doesn't like either downplay the war crimes and murder and doesn't throw Omega like directly into harms way and under the bus.

[stolaz-the-artist]

May you make a murder drones au of nexo knights Please 😢

MURDER DRONES SPOILER WARNING

I mean yeah, that's kind of obvious.

This Is gonna be a loooong post. Longest ask I've worked on.

I didn't need to make so many drawings but I had so much fun I just kind of had to.

im gonna do everyone a favor and kind of digitalize my writing under each page, just in case its hard to read.

Serial Designator C

"I don't know because you won't tell me!"

"Oh please don't run! if I miss it will just prolong your suffering"

"Oh i do wanna be dapper *sigh* but alas"

Clay: Are you . . . new drones?

Macy: Uh, sure?

Clay: Hm. . . Well I have been saying we need more bots

Serial Designator W

"C-100110010! HOW DARE YOU LOCK YOUR MOTHER UP!? You let me out this instant!"

"Wait . . . Prom queen?"

Lance: He's literally so ungrateful. Like you're so cool.

"How did you even manage to knock yourself offline?"

*Rebooting. . .*

"If the other one survived after all this time it's truly a miracle"

Serial Designator F (Fletch)

Post limb change

Him and Izzy are very close friends (She think its cool when its revealed he's a Disassembly drone)

Was "adopted" by two worker drones (That W killed in an attempt to get him back)

He's a bit taller due to his torso, but because his legs cant fully support him, he's constantly hunching

"Im so tired of this shit"

Gets called names like • Loose-limb Fletch

•Drop-A-Limbs

•Disjoint-Drone

•Snap-off Fletch

Fletch: WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?

Wanda: Literally barely anything. Just put the right limbs on

Wanda: Like what kind of idiot tried to connect Worker drone limbs to a Disassembly drone torso?

Macy Doorman

"Huh, knew illegal downloading all those Ned Knightly movies would come in handy"

"EAT PLASMA BITCH!"

Macy: One more buzzword and I'll do it

Jestro: . . . Equity Partnersh-

"Oh bite me"

Clay: Now im pretty new to this "Rebelling" stuff. But uh, do I have to fight my mom? Its just that-

Macy: YES!

Clay: sighhh Fine, lets do this

Aaron

"The hell happened to you?"

Aaron: So do you think they like video games?

Lance: Doubt it

Aaron: Then why are we here?

Lance: Blackmail

Aaron: Oh fair

One of Macy's best friends (And the friend she's had the longest)

"Super invited to my shindig next week"

Aaron, whispering: I mean, he's fun sized?

*sizzle*

Aaron, whispering: Ok so not fun

Macy: whispering: OH REALLY!?

Lance

Axl: Where's Macy

Lance: She went out

Axl: Out? Have she lost her mind?

Lance: Think so. Oh and Aaron went with her

Axl: Excuse me?

Lance: Yeah . .

Phone focus cuz tiny space

Wanda: This is so shit

Lance: I know right

Fashionista. Yes he knows there are non flip phones, he has one, but it just doesn't meet the same level of sass as a clip phone

Lance: Do you understand what will happen if you go out there? Let me spell it out; D-E-A-T-H! Are you out of your-

Aaron: I'll come lol

Lance: Yeah, no. You two gp enjoy dying. The hell you think this is, a shitty horror movie?

Axl

"Im gone for 5 min to get some actual edible snacks and everyone is dead!?"

Accidentally gave her the gun idea

Really fixated on food, spends a lot of time recreating food

His bigger legs make him a bit less flexible, but he packs a mean kick (home made)

Axl: There we go!

Lance: Aren't you worried someones actually gonna drink it thinking its actually edible- or drinkable I guess

Lance: But idk, people are pretty stupid here

Axl: Hm, no you're right

Decoration don't drink u'll die lol

Serial Designator J

"its tricked you! and if I promised you anything . . . It tricked me too . . ."

"Ha-ha! I-am so good-at-hiding!"

Is AD's most "trusted" worker (And with ,pst trusted I mean most easily manipulated)

Clay: What will the company do to us once we're done? How do we know the company wont get rid of us?

Jestro: Awh, im so sorry. You know the consequences of questioning the company

*virus*

Clay: Hm, fair enough

Monstrux

Merlok

Absolute Destruction

"The flesh demands invitation"

"Dropped this-silly"

Pre-skinning Merlok

Robot view

Monstrux: You look g-great, toots! hm . .

Monstrux: Have you considered a hat-tho

~*~

There's a few extra sketches I did for fun lying around, and if ya'll want that (plus the story line of what's happening) just tell me I would include it here but this is painfully long enough

(Oh and all relationships are kinda neutral here. They don't entirely line up with the show. Ship whoever I don't care)

Anyways, this took weeks to make (cuz of studying and the fact I got sick in the middle of it) but im rather happy with what I have came up with!

Always feel free to make asks like this! I enjoy them a lot! might take a while for them to come out cuz of school but I'll do my best!

(Also I'm aware some are a bit out of character, it was for comedic purposes)

[visionthefox]

Sun didn't actually scream or anything surprisingly, he was more quiet and resigned, hopeless, the episode had him finally start to really question what he was put through with Old Moon, and now New Moon, how he realizes Old Moon was a toxic person, how much he got hurt by him, he even questions if he'd want a life without Moon considering how badly he's been hurt, but immediately feels awful for saying it, he hates that he even feels anger because feeling anger reminds him too much of being infected with Eclipse and he hates that too, he recalls the other dimension he went to where Moon kept his Killcode and Eclipse never appeared, where they seemed happier, not perfect but happier, yet there was no Lunar or Earth, and he questions if Moon was never there if he'd be happy or go insane from the isolation, that he acknowledges Moon could be good and kind, but there's so much worse stuff he's done, all the anger and pain, that outweighs the good, and he still is absolutely shocked and is having a hard time processing that Moon tried to kill Earth and questions if Old Moon could've ever been pushed to hurt them like that, that he's terrified, it doesn't feel like he's processed everything as there's a lot and the episode sort of cut off weirdly, but I am surprised it took this long, and took so much going wrong, for Sun to finally have this conversation with himself, because everyone who's been through an abusive situation like this if given time to think will have this conversation, it feels like Sun's finally starting to realize how bad things were and are, I do not believe he disowned Moon here as some people think but he's reaching his limit with all the hurt and he has every right to be very upset at the moment with Moon's relapse, especially since Earth is still injured after getting burned by star power, and besides I doubt the show would make them permanently separate, so that's what happened, and Jack facilitated it, hugging Sun and reminding him there are people who still love him

huh.. well thats not something I expected- actual development in Sun? woah!

like I know I sound sarcastic but man- I was here when Eclipse was introduced! Im THAT old of a fan- so to finally have Sun take a step back from the yell and cry to finally see all the hurt he's been put to by someone he wanted to call family.. is a lot

but a lot in the right was as you said- he is finally seeying how bad his own abuse was- because he always made it small- a joke to laugh at because no one else cared- Monty beat him up too- yet no one cared until now- when people from outside told him thats not ok

or are you gonna tell me- having many sticks to hit your brother was actually that funny? mh?

I knew the ep wouldnt end in any good way to feel satisfactions- thats something I been feeling for most eps rn- is feels rushed , somethimes full- but cut down too fast- others so dull and long is feels empty..

but the fact he is finally thinking of it all is a step no matter what.. then again- the fact its happening NOW is bothering.. personally

he had a chance to have all of this thinking when he blew up Moon's space lab- when he had his break down- I always said that was his moment to finally reach his limit- no more cry but a yell of anger and determination to put a stop to his own abuse- he got far enough to face Eclipse- he could have gotten a better arc but Earth showed up..

what I think his new arc is , is that of the Older Brother- no longer the one to cry in the side- or the one to shake and need guide- but the one who finally stays calm , sure suffers, but is focused.. hes been showing this change ever so slowly- yet I think this is the final drop to finally FINALLY make him the protagonist he was supposed to be..

that or Davis choose to have him go back to be a side character by having someone else step in- be the leader and fix it up- leaving Sun with just another ep were fans worry- then the showrunners make fun of it all.. but I hope is not the case again- I dont want another "show he is not ok- then say he is ok"

like - please just have him be the protagonist of his own show- have him face Moon- maybe do a parallel to the Bunker scene- The OG one with Sun talking sense to a insane Moon , but Sun stays serious- he tells Moons his truth..

that sure- Moon arent perfect- they are not meant to be the kind one, they are meant to be a bit bad but have their good side- old moon - despite it all- choosed to leave his own coding , his own written instinct aside to give the person he was made to live with a better life.. he loved Sun more than he loved Himself..

Sun should be the one to face the one he was once merge with, the one he knows better that anyone else- even Monty- he lived with Moon for more than 10 years by the lore canon- he should be able to face him- and maybe, just maybe tell him he didnt failed- sure mess up but.. he doesnt have to be the villain Creator originally wanted him to be..

or anything really- just .. I want Sun, if he really is finally facing his own shadows and traumas, to face it directly, face the person who hurted him- and finally end the circle..

aah long post so sorry

[tendebill]

What would happen if you threw eveyone of your ocs in a room together?

Im just askin for... research... purposes...

Lets go with that.

[oc]

ok i have some silly and light-hearted ideas for this actually xddd

(also im limiting this to main ocs or ocs i consider to be important or fun enough for the purposes of this)

if not for the way the entirety of the main plot plays out, i think Maffi and Huen might've gotten along. if this was in a vaccuum and not in any particular spot in the story, i think Maffi and Huen (and maybe even Seph who knows) would be in a corner just fucking talking about politics and philosophy and shit.

Ellie and Bitzy would probably be making friendship bracelets, or talking about comics or any sort of pop-culture interests that they share. probably would recommend fanartists and fanfics to each other too. a few people would try to join them, but they either dont understand the popculture of their worlds (which is very similar, if not the same) or dont care enought about it. theyre mostly left to their own devices. overtaken by the 'tism.

Angelica would probably be telling stories of her time as a treasure/artifact hunter and an actual godslayer. if Hinata's there with Bitzy, they would probably catch up and tell the stories together, since Hinata went on a lot of adventures with Angelica when they were younger.

David would be very... put off by Huen's mere presence. even if all of the plot didn't happen and this whole "get-together" wasn't canon, i think Huen's aura would just scare David shitless. you could even say he dislikes her on the basis of bad vibes alone. which is mutual, considering Huen HATES when someone is taller than her, and David's got a solid 10cm on her. yea, he avoids her like the plague and she does not mind (maybe intentionally sends him threatening looks across the room). actually i think almost everyone would avoid Huen to the best of their ability.

maybe Dots would hang out with David a bit? they have a sort of reluctant friendship in the later stages of the story. she feels pity for him, despite his own actions being the main reason why he suffers, so she helps him a bit when no one else is there to put up with him anymore (i might elaborate on that in another post, cuz i think its interesting lol). oh, i like to think she'd share her recipies with him? he can't cook, but he'd like to learn and she has a whole backlog of healthy meals to share :3 also she definitely recommends him some cool self-care products. also i think they share a love of home makeover shows (tho David wouldn't admit it). just wait until Ellie introduces them to the sims.

if TomJulCent are there... i have a headcanon that Thomas and Seph get along really well. in general i think Thomas Julia and Vince would like Sephoras and vice versa. Tom would drag Seph away from the debate going on in the corner and they'd get up to some tomfoolery (more or less legal, depending on the mood) or just talk and joke with each other.

Oh, Vincent would probably have a lot to talk about with Cyan, since they're both musicians! i can imagine them first hitting it off and getting along really well, until one of them says some "controversial" opinion about a certain artist or even a whole genre of music and all hell breaks loose. Julia and James (or Angele) would probably separate them, but it'd be too late and now they're sworn enemies.

speaking of, Julia and Angele would get along. they've both got "i am done with these idiots, but theyre my idiots" as their life motto and i think they would have a lot of fun complaining to each other, considering they would understand what the other has to put up with.

also, since David, Huen, Maffi and Seph all like playing chess, i could imagine them staging a mini tournament. no idea who would win, but it'd be worse than playing uno. Huen would definitely underestimate David, who is REALLY GOOD at chess, and it would piss her off. Seph and Maffi's duel would be the least "aggressive" and all in good fun (they probably play chess together anyway regularly so yk), Seph and David would insult each other (in good fun too, but it'd get brutal at times), Seph and Huen would be filled with easy conversations with an underlying meaning behind every word they say, trying to throw the other off (Huen would outmanipulate Seph pretty soon though, lets be real), Maffi and Huen would be dead quiet, not even a twitch of an eyebrow in sight, stone faced and focused on the game and nothing else, Maffi and David would be tense as fuck, but not in a negative way, since the two of them have played against each other countless of times, so they have a lifetime long score to keep updating.

James and Dots would be checking up on everyone. Lucy would be sitting quietly in a corner with a guitar or a ukulele to provide some ambiance, since she's not much for socializing in big groups. Angelica and David would have an arm wrestling competition at some point (David would call bullshit on some part of Angelica's stories and it'd escalate), which both Maffi and Huen would scoff at (but Maffi would obviously be on her wife's side all the way) while Seph would be ALL IN for this, give him front row seats and some popcorn, he's placing bets as we speak.

if Dominica got involved though.... pure chaos. she would shapeshift into every other fucking person and slowly, overtime make people think they were losing it. hallucinating entire conversations, missing important bits information, learning things that turn out to be untrue, until, eventually, everyone's at each other's throats over something they allegedly said or did. by which point Dominica would sit back and enjoy the view, with only Seph and Huen remaining, as they'd be pretty used to her bullshit and antics by this point and would have refused to fall for them again.

also i always loved the idea of my ocs singing and playing music together. ive had an idea of Lucy teaching Seph the basics of how to play guitar (he's horrible at it). i think Cyan would have the most random assortment or "hey I can play that", and so on. also i made Cyan James and Seph (and Ellie) into a band AU at one point for funsies but thats besides the point lol

also if this happened at ANY point in the story it would be a category five shitstorm, tears shed, feelings hurt, someone would die, the room would be trashed.

tysm for the question bro!! i hope my answer was to your satisfaction xd (if im crazy enough, i might use some of this for oc doodle inspo)

[gothgalpumpkin]

Nah, bc I have tingz to say about Halloweentown!

I'll start off saying that I wouldn't really want a re-write or a reboot or something like that, but the way it could have been spread out was a missed opportunity I'll always lament on. What do you mean Gal? I'm glad you asked ghost in my corner! I mean to say that HT really could have been the Cromwell series and not just about my gurl Marnie. But instead ALL of the Cromwell children and their relations with magic and the magic worlds.

(Is she about to go into a tangent? Yes, yes she it)

Let's talk about little Sophie. Movie one demonstrates just how much more powerful she was to Marnie with her being much younger and already using magic without her knowledge. Now the argument could be that its just how all the children were since at that age of course they wouldn't know how to control their magic. However, never once was it mentioned either offhandedly or directly that Marnie or Dylan also experienced such a thing. Perhaps they did, but for argument sake, I'm only using the facts shown in the movies and the fact is, Sophie wanted that cookie and gonna get that cookie 🍪. All that being said, I wish we got more of Sophie and that struggle of obviously being the Family's prodigy but being overlooked by Aggie's favoritism towards Marnie (*I'll be going over this much much later in a different post 👀).

Perhaps we could have seen the fear that she'll never be as good as Marnie despite being stronger and since she's not getting that same level of training, Sophie might fear that her abilities will diminish instead of flourish into the Witch we all know she could be. I think the third movie should have been more about Sophie and that internal struggle of knowing deep down she's naturally stronger, but could never measure up to Aggie's high expectations. I'm not saying I'd like to see Sophie suffer or turn "Evil" but I'd love to see the turmoil that would arise from that internal struggle and how she views her relationships with her grandma and Marnie. Maybe she sees Aggie the way that her mother sees Aggie, maybe Sophie gets Gwen a little deeper. Maybe she understands Dylan in a way that makes Sophie a bridge between him and Marnie.

Speaking of Dylan. My poor boy, Dylan. OK, where to start. Oh, I know! (Bit of a rant incoming) How about the blatant disrespect for his boundaries and preferences? How many times has he stated he doesn't want to identify as a Warlock or that he doesn't feel comfortable with Magic to begin with? Since movie one this man has stated that he didn't like magic and that's more of a science guy. Cool, that's cool right? Nope, not for Marnie and Aggie apparently.

Yes, we all know that Dylans isn't the strongest warlock and that's because he has successfully locked it away within himself, that's his prerogative, he's happier with the "Normies" he's comfortable. Yet time and time again he's pushed into uncomfortable situations for the sake of Marnie's comfort (end of rant). Dylan is a muti-layered character that's actually very complex, however the story seems to continue this one note narrative of him being the "buzzkill" the "party-pooper" the one always complaining about having an amazing gift. But what may be a gift to you can be a curse to someone else. To Marnie, discovering that she's (genetically and historically) special was one of the greatest days of her life while simultaneously, it was crushing to Dylan. That gap of weirdness to normalcy has just widened and now its not as simple as being an outcast (for early 2000s standards lol) but it's inherently linked within. To Dylan, he knows he could never really be normal. Like Sophie, we really needed to see that turmoil played out without it being a joke because after the first and second movies, it's not funny anymore. He's not Marnie, he doesn't see Magic as a deep fundamental part of his being.

Can you imagine the feeling of being told your family name is important enough that it links to the founding of an entire world and that very world expects so much from you, but you don't have the drive to deliver? And why should you, it's just a name, right? You didn't choose to Heir from greatness, why is there so much pressure to do what you don't want to? That's what I think rings through Dylan. Because even in a place of Monsters and ghouls and magic, he's still the outcast. A Cromwell who doesn't have the ambition to become as great as their line before them? It's unheard of, it's strange. So, something must be wrong with them right? I think the fourth movie (we will FOREVER ignore HT4, what HT4?!) Should haven been about Dylan and his full acceptance as he is without the influence of his family. I think it should have been him going to a college of his own choosing (bc why would you make one child attend the same college as the other child just to keep an eye on them – uh, huh!?) we watch him find his footing and meets another witch/warlock who also finds mortal normalcy comforting. I think if he finds people like him who validates his feelings Dylan would be able to come to terms with so many internal struggles that be has such as he quiet resentment towards Marnie and Aggie. I think at even at a young age, Dylan truly understood Gwen and that's why he was always on her side with everything (also bc he's a mama's boy. Let's be real ✨️).

Often times I just that there were several missed opportunities for flesh out these characters and their importance in the world of Halloweentown and how they each interacted with their magical roots and culture.

I want to talk about Gwen as well, but I think that deserves its own post so I'll be doing another long one on her (and Aggie). But I will say you do look at things from her perspective as an adult in comparison as a child. I actually feel sort of sad for her, but I'll get into it soon. I have so many things to say about Halloween town and alot of the old 2000s disney spooky movies we grew up with and how they connect. I did an entire video on TT on how I believe HT and nightmare before Christmas is connected which I'll be placing here but in a more written cohesive format.

That's all I have for now, there's still so much i want to talk about, I'll be back soon 🖤

[low-budget-korra]

Comments on House of the Dragon s01e07

Rhaenyra Targaryen and Daemon Targaryen

They can't take eyes of each other. And about their sex scene, I like how all of the sex scenes of the show so far tell us something, its not there just to be pointless nudity, its there to tell us something and they also are beautifully shoted.

Rhaenyra is a better mother than Alicent will ever be. Mostly because Rhaenyra loves her kids and don't simple see them as objects to play in the game of thrones.

I loved Emma's single tear in the "now they see you as you are" moment. Earlier this episode Nyra stood by Alicent, saying she wouldn't go that far as kill someone and all and then boom. She realizes she was wrong and that's what the tear mean. In that moment she realizes that as much as she tried to keep things good and hold no hate for Alicent, Alicent hated her. Her childhood friend hated her simple because she didn't have any choice in her life so for her , the fact that Nyra could be living free and happy was the biggest affront ever.

Daemon stood by his Queen. I love how he stopped Sor Criston. And it's funny because only know the other kingsguard fellas hold him off, not when he was murdering Joffrey in the royal wedding....

The Kids

Rhaenyra sons love each other, while Alicent sons hate each other. If it wasn't for Alicent, the kids all would have been good friends and none of them would need to die.

I still don't get why Vhagar choosed Aemond, maybe because she thought he was brave enough but damn, she is so old that poor dragon started to get dumb. Aemond is a racism pig, I fucking hate him. Should have lost both eyes. Another character I will be happy to watch die but I didn't like how quick he turned into all that, I get that he my wanted to show off to Jace and Luke but Rhaela and Baela never did anything to him for him to treat them like that. Give someone's power and he will show who he really is.

Jace and Luke protecting their cousins. Such precious kids. I will cry so much when they die

The way Aegon was talking about Haelena, poor princess is there just to suffer

Alicent and Otto Hightower

It wasn't the House of the Dragon who would kill itself, but yes two assholes who seek power for themselves and let the world burn as result. When Alicent realize the shit she did, it is already too late and I'm so here for it.

And she should e be banish for treason for everything she did the this episode , her and Sor Criston. That's what any good king would have done

Alicent is still a young girl wanting to have a life of her own. But cannot because of her believes, her father believes. She really is just like those religious extremist who live in a world of paranoid and resentment

So, Team Green has racists, sexists, hypocrites and homophobics and they still think they are the right ones.

Criston Cole

Fuck him. Can't wait for him to die and I hope he's death is gonna be cathartic as Joffrey and Ramsay death was.

The Velaryons

Laena funeral was sad but would be heartbreaking if the show had given us time to actually bond with her character.

Laenor lost her sister , why can't people give him a break. At least he will leave freely and happy in Essos.

And I love how nobody cares about Rhaenyra's boys don't be Laenor's. They just accepted and love them no matter what.

Viserys Targaryen

No but why on earth he would wanted Otto back as Hand?

Finally Viserys did something other then die slowly. But I wish he would say to his Kingsguard "of Sor Criston touch his sword, kill him" when Criston shows to be ok with assaulting the heirs to the throne. This times is when I mis my Lannisters blonde bitches, Tywin would handle it

[yumejo]

Ok I've been thinking about this for Days now

It's so funny, the way both nazuna and I know how important it is to love someone right

It's so funny how we both know how it feels to be told and/or tell ourselves that we are loved, but we both know how well it hurts us, to be raised without the emotional support that we need.

His parents weren't there. His dad, like mine funnily enough, wasn't physically there for most of the time. (Got up early and came home later for dinner since he worked so much) his mom didn't really compensate for that, else he would've probably mentioned somewhere how she meant a lot to him (she does not, he only mentions what I can presume to be his mom's expectation to be cute, shared among the community probably) nobody filled that gap, while he likely lived a comfortable life, his parents weren't special to him. Of course he knows people have it worse, not enough to live comfortably. But he rarely mentions his parents- in fact, he mentions his religion more than his parents- and that says something about their lack of presence in his life- probably enough to stop him from forming a grudge but not enough to be special to him. And then we all know how the thing with shu went, but this whole topic deserves an essay

Anyways, like him, just sharing to make a point, my parents aren't that special to me, in the sense that I don't have much of an emotional attachment to them. My dad traveled 5/7 days of most weeks for years, only now its weird because sometimes he'll be home for weeks straight and it's so weird. But my mom just doesn't know how to make an emotional connection to me. I get she takes care of my health, takes me to places I need to be, buys me things I need.

But what's in common is that both our parents never got to know us, despite being both only children. And this wasn't meant to be a rant, but a really interesting comparison and perhaps I'm sort of numb to it all

Though where we differ, despite having suffered the same unfortunate situation, is like how we handled it... nazuna chose to explore his inside, who he is, and he's still doing that today. In his search for himself, he met a lot of people to help him realize about himself to build a connection with people he wants to build.

And for me, I look outside- what can I achieve, how can I look for other people to approach me. How can I be cool and successful, so that it's good for everyone to build a meaningful relationship.

It's so starkly different when you look it like that, and of course we both do what the other does (nazuna still looks to achieve and help others, and I still look to discover my relationship with myself)

And it's so interesting that how both he and I understand the effects of doing so, why we're so scared to change without notice, yet why we know we have to grow and that it's so important to know that between us

Sorry for the more deep thoughts I'll be return with silly thoughts soon

some people don't understand the impact emotional neglect can have on a child; just because you provide your child with the physical things they need to take care of themselves, doesn't mean you're giving your kid everything they need. i'm actually super passionate about this sort of thing, as well, but only by extension of my mom and how she was brought up with my grandma (only mentioning it to let you know i can understand 100% where you're coming from, to both you and nazuna).

for you and nazuna, don't you think you two just complete each other in ways you can only fulfill for each other? you understand each other, and nazuna can offer you advice you don't often turn to—and vice-versa, you do that for him!

sometimes nazuna gets wrapped up in the heat of the moment, and loses himself; and who better to remind him once more of who he is than his beloved? the person who's always watching him and others?

and what about you? you got along really well with that person, he seen how you were able to steadily open up, and you should keep doing that. trust in that person, slowly; be yourself one step at a time. and it's okay to fumble, to revert back and hide when you're scared—you came out of your comfort zone, he'll tell you, isn't that something alone to be celebrated?

[treba-neco-napise]

A message for the bad days

I wrote this after I got from a period of pretty bad depression and anxiety and realized that I just needed some doomsday protocol for when it happens (spoiler: I didn't put it together before I got into another). I took it out yesterday and reading it helped me a lot. So I'm sharing in hope it helps someone else who resonates with it.

(This is very personal and not written for notes, I'm just hoping it might reach someone in need. So I'll be deleting criticism and blocking haters, don't waste that time.)

Hey, buddy. This is just your anxiety speaking. I know you don't think it is - it is. Your brain is scared, it shuts down certain parts of itself and keeps running on anxiety to keep itself safe from threats because it registers one threat you're currently under and from past experience concludes that you're threatened from all directions.

You're not.

There will be the good days, I assure you. Please believe me, you will feel better, and when the good days come back, you'll realize how awful you were truly feeling. It's good that you got through it. You got through all that abuse and bullying and hiding who you are and you're still here today, scarred but still standing.

Please stop comparing yourself to others in suffering, we all have our fights and no one is judging how you cope with fighting them. And if someone is, ignore them. You're hurting nobody but yourself, the one you definitely shouldn't be hurting.

Please reach out. Write down a list of people you don't trust and why. Write down another list of people you do trust and reach out, start a conversation with them even if you think it's meaningless and without a purpose. I'm speaking from experience, you will feel better talking to someone. You might come up with ideas for more discussion as you go. If you think they'll be annoyed that you want to talk to them, do it anyway. They won't be, they like talking to you, that's why you trust them. And if they are, they're not worth it. It's not your fault, ok? If they don't appreciate you as you are, I do. I love you just as you are and I'm sending a big, firm hug. Yes, you, the reader, you don't think I mean you but I do. You're enough, you're enough just as you are. If you're thinking whether I'd say that to a murderer and/or a narcissist, yes, I would. And if they're enough, of course you are.

No "should"-ing will fix the world. I know you know how it all should be and that it seems simple to know, you're a smart and good creature. Not everybody is like that, unfortunately, and that's okay. The world is the way it is and we have to roll with that, your mind might be too far in its idea and the world can't catch up with it. Let go. You know yourself that perfect world would be far from perfect in reality.

Stop to smell the roses, stop right now, stop what you're doing, don't ask why for a moment, just be in your shoes, in your perspective for a minute.

Okay?

That feels better, right? Good, keep that going. Stay in that. Summon the other perspectives when you need them and until then, stay in your shoes. You don't have to consider everything all the time.

Don't sacrifice your wellbeing. That test or appointment doesn't matter in the long run. You might fail or miss it despite all that effort. It's not your fault, okay? If you're going to put that much effort into something, make it a deal. Imagine it, visualise it as a contract with yourself - you do this big amount of work but you'll stop at a certain time, no matter how much or little you got done, and will make peace with it even if you don't want to. You will rest after this amount of work, properly rest, and you can add a specific reward for that. But make sure you accept it as a reward after you know it. Get up and do the workout even if you don't feel like it, just a jumping jack or a push-up. You will like it when you give in and accept the pain, stop fighting it and watch over yourself, making sure you're still okay.

Don't abandon yourself, ever, be your own best friend at all times when everybody else is against you, even if everything you believe in is wrong, trust yourself and be kind to yourself. When you start spiralling and abandoning yourself and not listening to yourself, stop. Really, stop right now, again,

See that? The Earth is still spinning.

The world hasn't fallen apart because you stopped racing just for a moment. Now, think it all through, consider if you really have to do all this right now, today, this week, this month, this year.

Can it wait?

Yes?

Would postponing it cause more problems?

No?

Okay, you can do it tomorrow, or schedule it for another day.

It's not your failure, it's not incompetency to put off what makes you feel this bad to be overwhelmed by. Don't overload yourself, you know what happens - you end up here again. :D

Be kind to yourself, put it off and schedule rest first.

[a-voltage]

Aight, so I finished watching the new Good Omens aaand... I'm not a fan.

That said, for it to provoke so many thoughts in me means that it’s definitely good art BABEY.

I’m not out here to yuck other people's yums, so my full thoughts and spoilers are below the cut.

Maybe part of the reason is that I'd heard people on here getting upset about something that happened to Crowley without actually knowing what. Somehow, I got it into my head that people were upset that Crowley becomes head of a megacorp (Amazon) through shenanigans.

And uh. It’s absolutely Not That.

So, pinch of salt, entirely possible that my dissatisfaction with this season comes down to the fact that I'd primed myself for watching a critique of capitalism and got increasingly confused and distressed when it wasn’t. I’m coming at this from a very surface-level understanding of Christianity. It comes from Christmas movies, Monty Python, and the background radiation of being culturally Christian.

Ok, so enough excuses.

In terms of what’s going on, we've still got the themes of ineffability running through. Even when God speaks to someone, she doesn't provide answers, only more questions.

As an example, there’s a whole thread about a guy named Job. Job is god’s favourite, he is the epitome of good and had a wonderful life. We find out that heaven has sanctioned the murder of his goats, his geese, and his children. If he proves he is still a good person after all of this hardship, he will be rewarded with twice the goats, twice the geese, twice the children.

Just not the original children.

As an aside, it’s also telling that when Crowley talks to Job about this, he is distraught because it must be him that did something wrong, he just doesn’t know what.

Of the collected angels and demons, only Aziraphale and Crowley understand personhood well enough to understand that Job wants his original children back. Giving him twice the number of new ones isn’t an even trade. The show uses this to tell us that even the side of 'good' are equally capable of causing suffering when they apply a black and white system of morality to the messiness of human life. And, you know, don’t treat humans as people with their own needs and desires.

Additionally, the angels (even Aziraphale) don’t question the authority of God. In the show, Crowley is (mostly) the only one to do so. Someone else made this point, but when Crowley repeatedly insists that he ‘isn’t nice’, it’s because he isn’t making choices to be ‘Good’. He does it because it’s the right thing to do.

(I’ve forgotten who, but if I find the post again, I’ll link because I remember it being a really interesting analysis in its own right).

On a similar note, Aziraphale is shown as having a very rigid black and white morality. Because he thinks he is a good guy, he's more likely to follow along with those norms. Specifically the thing in Scotland where it's pointed out to Aziraphale that people do bad things for good, or at least, understandable reasons.

On paper, it’s 100 percent my jam. I think it's an especially worthy point to make in the current climate where we have the emergence of the alt right and other authoritarian groups. And like. It’s about the dangers of factions that present themselves as ‘the good guys’ whilst leaving no room to question the actions of authority. No matter the group, no matter how well-intentioned, if there is no room to consider how their actions will affect other people as real human beings, then they will cause harm.

Super interesting topics with lots of meat!

So why didn't I like it?

I'm going to quote my favourite rat-grandpa here and say it’s because it committed the cardinal sin of boring me.

My knee-jerk reaction was 'this feels like fanfiction'. The show also had a strong emphasis on the relationships between the characters. As both an avid reader and writer of fanfic, I’m the first to say that isn’t the issue.

They just didn't execute it very well.

A quick recap:

Gabriel turns up at Aziraphale's bookshop naked. He doesn't remember who he is. This is quite distressing to Aziraphale because in the prior season, Gabriel was an antagonistic towards him. Y'know, working to usher in Armageddon and all.

A lot of the interactions felt like the fluffy, wish fulfilment. We have a scene like a ball where Aziraphale and Crowley try and play matchmakers, a callback to the scene of the first season where Crowley shelters Aziraphale under his wing, Gabriel losing his memory and turning into an clueless version of himself. All of this (and the Dr Who references thrown in) give me the sense that the creators lost sight of their original vision when thinking about how fans would react.

There is also an awkward kiss where Crowley confesses his feelings. To me, this felt like this was played more for shock value. Cheap pathos.

There's also a B plot between two new wlw characters, a coffee shop owner and a record store owner who, as best I can tell, are set up as a kind of foil for Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship. Her girlfriend is awful and then they break up. In order to cover up the miracle they did together, Aziraphale tells the angels that it was to help the two fall in love.

They tell the duo to stop meddling in their affairs and talk about their own relationship. It felt heavy-handed. I definitely think it could have been more subtle rather than preachy.

I say this as someone who does read and write fic. Like.

It didn't feel deep? It felt like it was made for the people who enjoy shipping Aziraphale and Crowley. Except that, it felt like also just putting those boys in situations? It didn't feel like it had substance. Or maybe it just didn't resonate with me.

I suppose at least I can be thankful that the gays are accepted enough that we can now get tv shows with the same uninteresting romance plotlines as the straights.

Hurray.

[symphonyofsilence]

Y'all, everytime I see an image of ROP Galadriel, whether in google images or thumbnails/short clips in YouTube, she always looks so fucking angry and arrogantic, like I've never seen eyes with so much hatred in it. I thought I would only see it in orcs, goblins or any of Sauron or Morgoth's servants but nope its always her. I've seen better characterization of Galadriel in ao3 fics than in this mess of a show. And that fucking Halbrand bullshit, like I cant believe people prefer that stupid ass oc over Celeborn, FUCKING CELEBORN. Didn't Sauron hate humans? So why tf did he dress up as one?

Omg Right!? In every-freaking-shot! In every-freaking-scene! Even when she's talking to her "friend" (who asks her how she is and hears "why Elrond, you've truly become a politician. I am not some courtier to be placated by idle flattery." In response), or thanking someone, if she thanks them. 'Cause she's rude, angry & arrogant, and hateful towards people who help her, save her life, and are nice to her, too. And still, unlike well-written other angry and arrogant characters (like, say Fëanor, who always suffered as a direct result of his actions), it never has any consequence for her. everyone loves and admires her and she always gets her way.

I guess looking angry, hateful, and arrogant at all times = being a strong female character

'Cause the previous Lady Galadriel who was kind, generous, wise, hospitable, altruistic, calm, gentle, dignified, peaceful, and graceful (coincidentally feminine traits) & radiated so much power, magnanimity, majesty, ancient strength & wisdom that it felt like one was standing in the presence of a goddess was not strong enough for Amazon. No, she had to jump into the sea in the middle of an ocean, disrespect people, threaten genocide, etc.

& yes, I think the reason Galadriel's characterizations are better in ao3 fics is that the authors love the characters and the work. They don't want to drastically change them. They don't get paid, they don't have to write. they do it because they love to. Because they have ideas to write. because they've given thought to the characters and the events.

And yes, this whole Halbrand deal is so infuriating! Not only they've completely ignored Celeborn (Who Galadriel chose to stay in ME for.) to have a love story between Galadriel and an OC, aka Galadriel x Sauron, which until this mess of a series I don't think anyone has ever thought of, and erased Celebrian (& now they have to pull a Renesmee/Jacob with her and Elrond if they even decide to include her), but they also replaced Annatar! (Probably because twink Annatar deceiving a young Celebrimbor might have had some gay subtext and it would have been too much for the Mormon showrunners) not only they completely ignored Galadriel's insightfulness, mind-reading powers, wisdom, and intelligence by not showing that she was not deceived by Annatar for a moment and rejected him immediately & so Sauron, a literal maia was weary of her ("he perceived at once that Galadriel would be his chief adversary and obstacle."), And not only they completely ignored one of the few plot points they had to meet as there is not much said in the books about the second age, and they couldn't even meet those few plot points. But it doesn't even make sense storytelling-wise. If an adaptation changed something from the source, (even then, Annatar to HaLbRand was too much) but made it better, or at least made it ok in its own right, it wouldn't have been so horrible. But the storytelling of this show is the most abysmal I've ever seen! In a well-written show could you imagine the tension of the scenes when Celebrimbor finds out that Annatar is Sauron, but doesn't want him to find out that he has found out until the rings are safely tucked away, but Sauron has found out that Celebrimbor knows and the confrontation that leads into Celebrimbor finding out that Sauron knows that he knows? and at that moment, because Sauron is a maia, Celebrimbor doesn't stand a chance?

And the way the showrunners said that they've changed it 'cause they thought that it was stupid that the elves were ever fooled by Annatar? These fuckers really thought they could write better that the father of modern Fantasy.

And no, you're right. Sauron dressing up as a human doesn't make any sense. Just as Sauron's whole plan, if you could call it that, or the plot of the series NOT being Sauron's plan doesn't make any sense.

[curry-and-casteliacones]

Ok so, Orthworm titan has been defeated! I think, just as a little check in. Im going to talk about my opinions on the different characters. Because i'm sure some of them will change down the line and i'd like to be able to come back to this and see what i thought of them!

Warning for about mid game ish?? spoilers? Maybe? Im just talking about characters personalities so warning for that

Nemona- She's pretty fun. I like her energy a lot! But she isn't a favorite or anything. I feel like i haven't seen enough of her personality.

Arven- I adore him. At first he annoyed me, and then i was suspicious of him because of how he talked during the first titan about a "he". But when it was revealed he was trying to help the goodest of boys i actually teared up. If i hadn't been in a room with someone else i probably would have started crying. I absolutely adore Arven's personality. His path is probably my favorite because it feels like it has the most fun story. And you get to interect with miraidon more.

Penny- I don't have a ton to say about her. Mildly suspicious of her just because i don't know much, but i'm trying to see her in a neutral light so it doesn't cloud my judgement. I like her design a lot. BUT WHY DOES SHE NOT HAVE TO WEAR THE UNIFORM?? I wanna come to school in whatever i want >:(

Brassius- I was expecting moody and gloomy, but he's actually pretty cool. I like how much he cares about art. He also got a bunch of bonus points for shocking me with that windmill jump. I like the joke of his ace pokemon and over all he's a fun character. His design is REALLy cool and it's fun to see something that isn't just your basic flowery bright green grass gym leader. (not that i have anything against that, i love all the grass gyms)

Kofu- I couldn't pinpoint why but i did NOT like him at first. I tried so hard to work past it because i couldn't figure out why i didn't like him. But after the market and his battle i came to like him a lot. He's not my favorite by any means but he's a fun character.

Iono- I was already a fan when she was introduced. I love her design and her personality is hilarious. She's my favorite gym leader as of right now. Maybe even my favorite character in the game.

Clavell- Kinda spooky, kinda fun. He seems a bit annoying at times but that might be my distaste for authority. I keep flip flopping on whether i like him or not. I don't dislike his personality so far but he feels like he's hiding smth. Idk. I always am suspicious of characters i don't know enough about lol. Especially cuz i'm not sure if gamefreak is pulling a twist villain again or not.

Jaqc- He's fun :) I like him a lot. Doesn't stand out a ton but he's a cool character

Turo- hmmm he hasn't really done anything that interesting so far... kinda dislike him just because he isn't Sada lol. I liked her design more than his. But i got violet for Miraidon. Again, im wary of characters i don't know enough about....

At this point im too lazy to keep looking up their names and i have a horrible memory (just took all the midterms and the one singular question i got wrong was the language teachers name). So uh... classes only no names.

Math teach- In the first 5 seconds of meeting her i wanted to dislike her so bad. I HATED math as a kid and i still hate math. The only class i did well in was geometry and that's because it felt more like fun puzzles to me. But basic math? I can't do it. No matter how well i know a formula or how much i try and focus i always mess up something small that then ruins everything else. Every step could be correct but ill have gotten confused about how much of something there was cuz i misread the problem and all of a sudden its all messed up. I can somehow get 11 from 5 + 3. I never learned long division. I hate math with a burning passion. So i was ready to suffer at even math in a basic kids game. But she was so sweet. And the problems WERENT HARD. I was so scared it was gonna be basic addition or subtraction or smth and i would suffer. But i realized it was all math i had already been doing in the game already. Calculating damage based on weakness, or figuring out how many of different items i could buy. I wish i had a math teach at some point who had worked with me to make it interesting. And she's so sweet. I literally adore her so much

Art teach- This guy has not made an impact on me at all. He is like a paper lunch bag of a character next to a bunch of cool lunchboxes with fancy patterns. Not bad, gets the job done. But so much less cool. I always loved art tho so i guess he gets extra points for that.

Language teach- he speaks french i rest my case. The only worse thing he could do is be british. Cuz at least the french did wonderful things for cooking. But fr if there wasn't spanish sprinkled in i would be missing every question. At first i kinda disliked him but im kinda nuetral now. (im kidding about the french n british thing for the record. i just jokingly hate british ppl and i dislike french as a language cuz i find it just as stupid if not more stupid than english)

Home ec teach- I Adore him. He's great. I love cooking so much so of course when i saw a home ec class i was in love. I loved the idea of my in game character also being good at cooking(why yes, i am easily amused). At first i was kinda intimidated by him but i liked him still. After te interaction with him in the cafeteria w the pbj i was enamored w his character. he is my little meow meow i think hes so entertaining. I love him

Fighting? Uh battle smth?? teach- hasnt rlly stood out to me in any way. however the interactions w her being bad at cooking were funny and felt like they gave her more character, which made me like her more. I think shes pretty cool but def is overshadowed by other ppl.

History- Cannot figure out why but she kinda annoys me. maybe its the clothes lmao. But idk im trying to work past it cuz i cant figure out if i have a good reason or not yet. So basically nuetral leaning towards negative on her.

Nurse miriam? is that her name- couldnt tell you why but i like her. she just seems fun to hang out with. i like her a lot :)))

As a final note, i really like the little interactions w the diff characters throughout the school and maybe im just a nerd but i actually like going to the classes..... Its fun and i like seeing the characters personalities. (plus answering even the easiest of questions correctly make the happy chemicals go brrrr) Ive always love extra lil stuff that lets you interact w characters in any game, its so much fun.

[dear-eli]

Am I incorrect in thinking of you as a friend?

Not a best friend, not even a close friend (even though you're basically the only one I've got). But as someone who, no matter how infrequently we speak (or even if we never speak again), still thinks of me with kindness? Still passively wishes me well, or at very least does not actively wish me ill? Or has that changed? I need to know. I need to know because that will shape how I interact with you in the future. I need to know what degree of connection you still have for me, whether it's friendship or mere acquaintance, and positive, neutral, or negative.

I know you're busy. I know you're stressed and burnt out and your health is suffering. All that has been true since before I met you, to the point that I consider it a fundamental truth of who you are. I know you didn't really have time for me when we were together, and I don't expect you to make time for me as a friend. But I need to know how far over my shoulder to look.

Would you prefer it if I actively avoided you? If I unfriended or even blocked you on Facebook? Should I move off your claim in Minecraft and log off immediately if I were ever to see you logged on, or should I regard the server itself as your territory and abandon it entirely? If, out of happenstance, we ever ran into each other in person, should I walk the other way?

Or are we OK to stay as we are, sort of tenuously nebulously still connected, living on the same Minecraft claim and passing notes but never seeing each other, still friends on Facebook but never interacting (except when I unthinkingly cross an unspoken boundary and message you for some stupid selfish reason or other), not actively in each other's lives but not really fully out of them either, in some sort of gray-area liminal space between connection and non-existence? If we ran into each other would we make polite but awkward small talk, pretending we never were what we once were to each other, suppressing my reflexive desire to beg for a hug?

Don't get me wrong: I greatly and sincerely appreciate you not just fully going ghost and abandoning me the second I moved out of your house and left your life. It means more to me than I can say - and you know I'm very rarely at a loss for words. And it's not like I think some switch has flipped and you suddenly hate my guts; I do still know you well enough to know that would be out of character for you. But this friendship purgatory, this Limbo, is maddening in its uncertainty. If this is how you want to continue, I need it to be made clear. I need the ground rules to be set and clarified. Am I allowed to message you whenever I'm feeling sad and alone, or when my mom pulls her fuckshit, or to casually remind you of things happening on the server, without any expectation of response (immediate or otherwise)? Or does my reaching out to you for undeserved support create complications or make demands on your time etc, that are not worth the trouble they would cause for you?

I know you're not likely to actively seek me out for any reason. And I know I don't really have any right to directly interact with you anymore, either, and I don't want to make life more difficult for you just because I need reassurance. If you want me to back off and stop trying to be friends with you, I will. I just need to know where the line is so I can stop crossing it unintentionally.

I will still, always, carry positive feelings and goodwill for you in the back of my heart, whether we ever see each other again or not, whether we speak to each other next week or in 20 years or never. Like I said, I still think of you as a friend, which means I think of myself as a friend to you as well. That doesn't mean I want to rekindle anything romantic at all, by the way. I think of this sort of absentee friendship as more like a lamp, waiting to be plugged in, but shining bright as ever when that connection is made again. It's just up to you whether or not to plug the lamp in and how far to turn up the dimmer switch, or to put it away in storage for another day, or to get rid of it forever. If that makes any sense at all. I'm sure it probably doesn't, I picked up a bug at the Syrup Festival so now my brain is addled with cold medicine. This has kind of gotten away from me now. Hopefully I will clean it up a bit before I send it to you, if I ever do.