#if you're one of the readers who survived to the end congrats I don't think very many people did you're a true hero lmao

[voraciousvore]

The Half-Blood Giant (51/51)

Chapter 51: Aftermath

Milton was consumed by guilt. If he hadn’t agreed to do a favor for Chester and enroll Hunter at the school, bypassing the standard formalities, none of the students would’ve been eaten. He never anticipated a half-human student would cannibalize his own kind. He was disgusted with himself as much as he was disgusted with Hunter. He should’ve intervened when he had the chance, before things got out of control. He was too soft on Hunter, too sympathetic, perhaps because of his own personal flaws. Due to his distress, he took a leave of absence from his position. His spirit had been crushed, and he needed time to recover. 

He also wanted to stay home for a while to take care of Millie. She was struggling with her own demons and fresh traumas. Milton kept her close and was a protective force to give her strength. He woke her up and held her for hours when she had nightmares or flashbacks. Millie was grateful for his love and kindness, but she was a source of support for him as well. When Milton considered making his temporary hiatus from his job permanent, since he was so devastated by his own failings, Millie convinced him to stay. She reasoned with him that he could be a force for good in improving the lives of the human students, a shield to protect them. The murders were not his fault; he couldn’t have known in advance that Chester’s son would be a violent man-eater; he could apply the knowledge gained to prevent future misfortune. Milton was thankful to have a lovely light in his life like Millie. 

Determined to right whatever wrongs were within his power to correct, Milton made significant changes when he returned to work. He requested funds from the school board to provide every human with a tracker watch, like the one he bought for Eren, so they had some protection. He beefed up security, hiring guards to patrol the hallways and campus at all hours. Milton was surprised to learn that Pedro was still willing to work at the school, despite being ingested alive by a student. Pedro explained to Milton that he felt safer now that Hunter was gone, and he believed the students needed his services more than ever. Milton admired his bravery and resolve. Ray came by the school often to keep watch over his boyfriend and the other humans, providing additional support. Milton was determined to avoid another catastrophe. 

A rift inevitably developed in the friendship between Milton and Chester. When Chester asked to stay at Milton’s house again, since he and Jackie couldn’t go home, Milton refused. He didn’t want Chester around Millie, but he was also angry with him about the situation with his son that had caused so much heartache. Chester and Jackie couldn’t bear to stay in the same community that had been ravaged by their son, so they migrated to the other city where Chester had his Maneaters Anonymous meetings, which would be more critical than ever since humans were far more common in this realm than the Land of Giants. 

Life was hard for the lonely couple. Chester and Jackie suffered from being cut off from everyone they knew and loved, not to mention their son’s fall from grace that split their family. Jackie had to overcome her debilitating fear from being surrounded by so many giant strangers. They had to start fresh in a new city, with no money or state-sanctioned identity. By an incredible stroke of luck, and generosity from a kind giant named Leon sympathetic to humans, Chester and Jackie were both able to get a job working together for the same company, Griffin Industries. They gradually picked up the pieces of their broken life to create a new future together. 

Jackie pined the loss of her magic. The couple struggled with physical intimacy, since Jackie could no longer grow or become acid-resistant. Chester was constantly salivating over her, desiring to devour her more than ever, but he had to control himself, which became harder by the day. Thankfully, they discovered the human pills that allowed Chester to eat Jackie safely, and crisis was averted as they fell into a familiar, comforting routine. Despite their loss and melancholy, they were grateful to have each other in trying times. 

Eren was not able to return to the dental clinic. She was broken, to the point where she feared she was beyond repair. She became extremely clingy to Joey, since she didn’t feel safe without him, even in her own home. Joey relented and took her to work with him, hiding her in his chest pocket. If he was going into a potentially dangerous situation, he would swallow her down or find a safe place to hide her, such as inside the glovebox of the police car. He was saddened to see his brave, sassy Eren reduced to such a state, but he protected her with his life nonetheless. Eren believed, as long as she had Joey on her side, she would be okay. 

Eren had Joey; Pedro had Ray; Millie had Milton; Jackie had Chester. With the strength of their partners, they would survive whatever trials came their way. The only person who was alone was Hunter. He had his parents, but he shunned them. He hated them; in fact, he hated everyone. Due to his smaller size, he was shipped off to a prison on the human side, but he still towered over the other human prisoners and guards at his freakish 7.5 foot height. He retained the physical hardiness and strength of a giant on top of how tall he was, so he outclassed any human physically. The other inmates knew not to mess with such a beast of a man. 

Even so, he mostly resisted the urge to violently lash out, biding his time. Every day, he fought against the spell binding him. His magic was stronger than his mother’s: He believed, with time, the spell would weaken, to the point where the seal would break. It was only a matter of time; he just needed to hold out until then. As he stared at the gloomy concrete walls and bars trapping him in, he wondered what he should do when he got out, if he ever escaped. He wasn’t sure. As much as he thirsted for revenge, he didn’t know if slaughtering everyone would bring him any long-term relief from his pain, or if he was even capable of happiness. At this point, he didn’t know if he cared either. He didn’t know if he should feel regret or remorse for what he did. He was bitter, angry, and tired. 

Chester wasn’t able to visit his son, since he was way too large to cross the barrier to the human side. Jackie had to go alone. Hunter cursed her out every time he saw her, but Jackie continued to visit him, and refused to forsake him. His dad sought to earn special visitation rights, but in the interim would at least call him on the phone to talk to him as much as he could, even though he had to pay per minute. Hunter reluctantly interacted with them, if only to counteract his boredom. They didn’t have any savings, but they sent him money for the commissary when they could, so he could buy snacks, toiletries, and small luxuries. 

One day, Jackie came to visit. Hunter sat across from her on the opposite side of a glass wall, speaking to Jackie through a phone receiver. He released his pent-up frustrations on her, volleying verbal insults until he was red in the face. Jackie took it all on the chin with stoicism, even though his words, and seeing him brooding in captivity with his orange jumpsuit, stabbed her to the heart. Eventually, Hunter calmed down to the point where she could have a normal conversation with him. Jackie asked him how everything was going and if he needed anything, and he replied in a defeated tone. As they spoke, Hunter finally brought up something that had been bothering him for a while. 

“Mom, whenever you visit I mostly just rant at you and tell you how much I hate you. Why do you keep coming?” 

“Because I love you, of course,” Jackie answered. “You’re my son.” 

“But I nearly murdered Dad! Don’t you hate me for that? And he still calls me too, since he can’t visit. I figured he’d want nothing to do with me.” 

“He loves you too, Hunter. And... yes, I would’ve been devastated if your father died. But he lived, so no lasting harm was done.” 

“What about all the other horrible things I did, like eating people?” 

Jackie sighed. “Don’t you understand, Hunter? Regardless of what you did, regardless of your faults or any ill will you may have towards us, we’ll always love and cherish you. We’re your family.” She looked down, ashamed. “I... I know we weren’t the best parents. If I could go back and change the past, I would’ve done things differently. But I hope you understand... we’ll always be there for you, through thick and thin. Whether you choose to forgive me or not is immaterial.” 

Hunter stared at her, mouth slightly agape, not sure how to respond. He passed over that point and continued the conversation, but he ruminated over her words later in his cell. Despite all the things he had done, and his rebellious, nasty, belligerent, hateful attitude, his parents still loved him. The truth hit him hard. He reflected on his time at the school. At the time, he felt like everyone hated him there, but he realized that wasn’t entirely true. Principal Henderson had been nothing but understanding and supportive, several students had approached him on his first day wanting to befriend him, and Hector was always friendly to him. 

And how did he respond to these magnanimous people, willing to give a despicable individual like him a chance? He treated them all with contempt, like dried-up worms on the sidewalk. He pushed everyone away at best, and at worst took their lives. He ate Hector and tortured and killed his girlfriend. He stole the principal’s girlfriend and swallowed her. And he stabbed his father, and would’ve slaughtered his mother if he had the chance. He was a monster, but a monster that his parents still loved unconditionally.  

He wondered if things could’ve been different, if he had just been more receptive to others. Perhaps his fate was not as inevitable as he initially believed. He didn’t have the social acumen to navigate the school environment with his sheltered upbringing, but his standoffish nature obviously didn’t help matters. The entire time, he had felt unloved and unwanted, out of place, but he realized he had a place the entire time, with his family. The realization made his heart twist in his chest. He had been so blind, so selfish. 

He couldn’t go back and relive his life, though. He had made his abysmal choices, and now he had no option but to live with the awful consequences. He deserved nothing less than the worst punishment for his sins. He curled up in bed, festering with despair and rage. Someday, he would break the curse of his mother’s magic. Someday, he would be free of this place. Someday, he would have a life to live again, and he would decide what to do with it. Someday. 

Chapter 1

Writing Masterpost

[charliedawn]

Could you donone where the reader is Jeanne Matthew daughter and a divergent she chosse dauntless to het away from her mom but also to be with her boyfriend eric and her bff four

(That's my first Divergent fanfic. Hope you'll like it. 😁)

"Mother..Please. Don't make me do this."

You had begged your mother not to send you away, as you had never left the Erudite headquarters before and were scared of what would happen if you were to choose another faction than your own to join..But, you mother didn't leave you a choice.

"You will do as you are told, Y/N. You are not a child anymore and I need someone from the inside."

You had tried not to break into tears in front of her. What had you done to deserve this ?

You had apologized so many times for failing the test and embarrassing her, but the moment your results had been revealed. When she had realized what you were, she had done her best to hide you away.

You were a failure in her eyes.

But, you didn't want to leave her. You still hoped you could be forgiven and find a way to stay.

"Please..Don't send me away. I'll pass the test again and I'll be sure that it says only Altruist this time around. I..I can do better. Be better.", you begged her and for a short moment, you thought her gaze would soften and her resolve would bend, but your illusion was quickly shattered as she remained intransigent in her decision.

"Prove your worth to us. Prove your worth to me. And I promise that everything will be forgiven. You will be a hero, Y/N. Make me proud, and we'll take you back with open arms."

It wasn't fair. But, you had no choice. You both knew it. Either you accepted, or your mother would be merciless for the years to come.

"Yes, mother.", you capitulated and when it was time to choose your faction, you chose Dauntless..

Now in the Dauntless headquarters :

When you found yourself having to jump off a moving train and running like your life depended on it, you already regretted your choice. There was no way you were built for this..There was no way you would be able to survive this.

But, when one of the Dauntless asked who would enter the Dauntless headquarters first, you volunteered.

You didn't even wait for the end of the instructions before jumping forward.

With a little luck, all of this was a dream and the contact with the floor 12-stories down would be hard enough to wake you up..

But, you were disappointed to find a net catching you down below and were met with a man who asked for your name.

You were still a little dazed from the fall and failed to find an answer quick enough.

Luckily, the man seemed to understand and smiled.

"Fine. Nameless then. Welcome to Dauntless, newbie."

He pulled you out of the net just as another person was about to crush you.

A few minutes later, the mysterious man with the handsome face would introduce himself as Four.

You liked his name.

It brought you closer to home where everything was organized and numbers meant stability..It meant safety.

You momentarily locked eyes and even though you didn't get to see his smile again, you could feel a gentleness in his gaze that had a soothing effect on you..

However, that warm feeling was replaced by cold hard steel as another Dauntless appeared..The one who had asked you to jump, almost pushing you in.

"Okay. Is everyone here ? Kidding. I don't care..For those who are, congrats on surviving your first minutes as a Dauntless, but don't think for a second that just because you're still here, it's gonna get easier for you. I'm Eric. But, you'll all be calling me names behind my back the time I'm finished with you. So, I'll be straight with you. You'll start at the bottom of the food chain, and you'll have to fight tooth and nail if you ever really want to be called a true Dauntless, got it ?!"

Well..That was unnecessarily rude.

You frowned a little at his very discouraging speech and opened your mouth to say something, but one look from Four, and you thought better.

However, it was too late as Eric seemed to have noticed your will to speak up.

"What ? Got something to say, lowlife ?! You better make it quick. We ain't got all day."

LOWLIFE ?! WHO DOES THAT GUY THINK HE IS ?!

You thought indignantly, but didn't answer him—as you knew better than to talk back with no advantage nor backup. Besides, something told you you didn't want to get on this Eric's bad side.

But, it was probably too late..He walked towards you and stood tall before you, his face so close to yours, you could feel his breath hitting your face as he repeated.

"Speak up, lowlife ! Or, are you dumb ? Is that why your original faction didn't want you ?"

That made you glare at him, but you still refused to give him the satisfaction of an answer. Besides, you knew he would love to have a reason to kick you out..

Fortunately, Four saved you as he stood between the both of you and reminded Eric they were on a tight schedule.

Eric wasn't happy about his interruption, but had to admit that he was right.

After changing clothes, burning your old Erudite ones and mourning the loss, you found yourself in the cafeteria.

You knew absolutely nobody and were just as happy to eat alone, but had to suffer the presence of two uninvited guests at your table.

Four.

And, Eric.

Double trouble..

"I didn't really like the way you talked to me earlier, lowlife."

You groaned at the nickname and stuffed your face with the tasteless porridge in order not to speak.

However, you glared at him when Eric dared steal your apple and take a large bite out of it, his eyes still fixed on you.

Provocation.

He was trying to get a rise out of you.

And you were on the verge of giving it to him.

Eric seemed highly amused by the situation, while Four was looking attentively at the interaction warily, wondering if he should intervene..

But, you suddenly gripped your plate and stood up to leave.

Eric surely wanted to stop you, but one look from Four and he reconsidered.

They were still in the cafeteria and everyone would see..But, it was only a matter of time before Eric would push you beyond your limits and you both knew it.

It was only your first day !

How bad could this guy really be ?!

When you were out of ear reach, Four turned towards Eric who was still enjoying your apple as if it was the best thing he ever tasted..

"Do you wanna maybe share ? Why are you doing this to the newbie ?", he asked sternly and Eric shrugged nonchalantly.

"The Nameless seems to have things to say, I'm just helping untying her tongue.."

He winked cheekily at Four who rolled his eyes and even though he didn't agree with Eric's methods, he couldn't contest the fact that he was still the only ally he had..

He was also the only one who knew what he was and never judged him for it.

Eric had guessed right away that he was a Divergent and yet— instead of calling him out on it—had smiled and asked if he wanted them to be friends.

And to this day, he never betrayed him.

Four had to trust his judgment, even if he didn't exactly understand what his goal was yet..

He shook his head and finally said.

"I hope that you know what you're doing.."

Eric didn't answer. He only finished his apple and didn't even leave the seeds.

He would do the same with you.

Later in the training room :

Chew you up and not leave one single part of you unscathed..

He would find the real reason for your presence. One way or another..

When you arrived in the training room, Eric stood in the middle of the mattress and shouted.

"In order to evaluate your fighting skills, Four and I decided it would be best for you to fight against a pro ! Right from the start, so you all will be able to see where you stand in the big board of losers ! So, I hope you all had a great lunch, because you're all about to get it out the fun way !"

He laughed and a wave of annoyed groans washed over the assembly as everyone knew they were about to get kicked to a curb..

Eric raised his arms and looked around at the many faces among the crowd, already measuring his future opponents.

"So...Who is gonna be first ? Come on. Someone who can fight ! Give me a challenge !", he roared and everyone stayed with their eyes fixed to the floor.

Nobody wanted to fight a Dauntless—especially Eric.

He was ruthless. They all knew it.

You should have expected it.

And, even though you had barely ever fought in your life, Eric's eyes quickly settled on you. His grin widened as he spot you, hidden behind the others and too far for him to physically reach you..

But, it didn't stop him from choosing you.

"Do my eyes deceive me, or did you really think you could hide from me, Nameless ?! Well, since you were the first to jump down here and you seemed so eager to talk back to me earlier..Here, lowlife. You'll be first. You and me. Come on.", he waved you forward and your eyes widened—panicking as you knew you didn't stand a chance..

You looked around for anyone to intervene—anyone—but, they were all too scared. You didn't blame them.

Even Four remained silent as the crowd split to let you pass. You were shaking like a leaf and felt cold sweat run down your back..At this point, you just hoped he wouldn't kill you too fast.

Four seemed to read your mind and he grabbed your arm just as you were about to step on the mattress to whisper in your ear.

"Don't worry. He's only allowed three strikes. You just have to hold on until then.."

You nodded wordlessly and didn't have the strength to tell him you would probably not last the first round.

Eric was a beast, and he had the muscles to prove it.

Erudites had training rooms as well, of course. But, you didn't wrestle. It was supposed to be a sport for savages and the closest you had ever played to a real dangerous sport was golf..

"Relax, Nameless. I'm not going to hurt you..too much.", Eric said with a big grin and got into a fighting position with his fists raised.

The bastard was enjoying this. You were sure of it.

The air was blown out of your lungs as your back hit the ground harshly and you groaned in pain.

You took a fighting stance too, but apparently too late as you missed the start signal.

However, Eric didn't miss a beat and tackled you to the ground before you could even let out a surprised gasp.

"Come on, lowlife ! Get up !", Eric shouted and you gritted your teeth.

"Strike 1. Eric. Point.", Four's voice announced and you blinked your tears away before raising up to your feet.

You tried to punch him, but he swiped you right off your feet and you fell. Again.

"Well, that was pathetic..", he taunted you and you hit the mattress underneath you with your fist.

"I'm doing my best !", you yelled out in frustration and Eric snorted.

"If that's your best ? You should probably go home..Come on, little Erudite. Go home to your mommy."

At the mention of your mother, flames busted deep in the pit of your stomach and—fueled by this feeling—you attempted to strike him again.

However—this time—you pretended to aim for the head, only to punch him in the guts. He did feel it and his eyes widened a little in surprise at your unexpected move as Four shouted.

"Point 2. Nameless. Last point !"

It was your turn to smile as you spat.

"I may have been raised as an Altruist, but never call it my home. My home is here now. And no matter how much you want me to quit and break me down, it won't change that I'm here and I intend to stay."

He gave you an unreadable expression at your outburst and your congratulated yourself in wiping that stupid smile off his face.

"Again. Last point !", Four reminded the both of you and this time, you could see Eric was taking you seriously.

His eyes stayed on you and he tried to predict your next move.

Good thing that the one thing your years as an Erudite had taught you was to stay unpredictable..

You attempted to kick his right leg and punch him in the ribs when he less expected it, but it was your time to be surprised as Eric successfully predicted your moves and sent you flying out of the mattress with a well-centered kick in the chest.

You landed on your back. Again.

"Point 3. Eric. Winner. Eric."

You closed your eyes and even though you knew you had absolutely no chance in beating a Dauntless in hand combat, you still felt disappointed. An Erudite didn't react well to failure..Something you took from your mom.

Eric stood above you and you thought he would gloat but, he extended his hand towards you with a smile instead.

"Well done, newbie. You succeeded in landing a punch. That's something. Who knows ? Maybe, we'll make a Dauntless out of you after all ?"

You stared at his hand for a moment, before batting it away and replied spitefully.

"A Dauntless like you ? Thanks, but no thanks."

You then stood back up and left before anyone could stop you.

Once Eric's shock over, he turned towards Four with a stunned expression.

"Did she just...?"

Four bit back a smile as he nodded in confirmation.

"Call you an a**hole ? Yup. I believe she just did."

Eric could see Four was trying his best not to show his amusement and rolled his eyes before looking away in the direction you had gone to.

"Say..Can you cover the rest of the class ?"

He asked and Four frowned a little at the request, but agreed nonetheless—for the utter relief of many students.

Eric then walked away in the direction you had disappeared to and he was set on talking things out.

In the sleeping area :

You were laid down on your bed when you felt someone beside you. You didn't even need to open your eyes to know who it was.

"Go away."

Eric sighed and sat down next to you. He waited for you to open your eyes and when you finally did, you regretted.

"Are you finished ?", he asked—as if to a child throwing a tantrum—and you glared up at him.

Finally, everything you wanted to say came tumbling down your lips in waves of questions.

"Am I finished ?! What do you have against Erudites, huh ?! Why are you being so hard on me ?! I did nothing to you !"

Eric remained impassive as you started yelling at him and waited until you were finished before calmly answering you.

"First of all, I have nothing against Erudites. Only you. Second, I believe you can become a great Dauntless, if you were to stop acting like a spoiled brat.."

You couldn't believe your ears, but one look at his face and you knew he was telling the truth. No half smirk. No skeptical raised eyebrow. He was being serious, just like in the training room as he was about to finish the fight.

But, the sole memory of how he had used your mother against you made you shake your head.

"A spoiled brat ?! Are you kidding me ?! You know who my mother is, and didn't hesitate before using it against me ! Who does that ?!"

He tilted his head to the side and looked intensely at you for a couple of seconds. It made your nervous and wonder if that was the moment he was going to definitely kick you out.

"I..may have gone a little overboard. Sorry. I won't mention your mother anymore. I promise."

You gulped at the idea of coming back to your mother with yet another fail—or worse. Would you become Factionless ?

The thought alone made you livid. But, it was quickly gone when he spoke again.

That...was the first time anyone ever apologized to you.

Erudites didn't apologize. It wasn't in their philosophy. They were always right, even if in the wrong. That was the way you were brought up. That was the only way you knew.

You didn't know how to react.

So, your brain came out with the only way to confront ignorance : deflection.

"...A little ?", you teased and Eric rolled his eyes, but your didn't miss the way the corners of his mouth twitched into a smile.

"Don't push it.."

He walked away and just before he left, he stopped to say.

"Tomorrow. Training with the others. Don't be late."

The next day :

You nodded and Eric smiled before finally stepping outside.

Maybe wasn't he so bad after all ?

You woke up early and got dressed before an alarm went on to wake up everyone else.

Eric and Four were already waiting for you in the training room and led you outside to take the train.

You didn't know where they were taking you. But, you all knew that it wasn't going to be pleasant as Four opened a case where weapons were stashed. He took one of them and loaded it for all of you to see and follow while Eric explained what was the next challenge.

"Four and I are going to split you into two teams. The first team to eliminate all of their opponents or take the other team's flag will be the winners. And since Four insisted, he gets to pick first."

Four pretended to think about it before his eyes landed on you.

"I'll have Nameless over there.", he decided, but Eric frowned and shook his head.

"Nah. Nameless comes with me."

Four was about to protest when Eric got too close to his personal space for comfort and warned.

"I wasn't asking, Four."

Four's jaw twitched and even though he wanted to remind Eric he had decided to give him the first choice, he finally indulged.

"Be careful. I'm not going to be around to pick up the pieces if you take things too far.."

They stared at each other and you could feel the tension growing between your only possible friend and douchebag number 1.

You did want to stay with Four, but you knew Eric would only make it harder on you both for days to follow.

"I'll go with Eric, since he seems so keen on having the 'lowlife' on his team."

Eric turned back towards you and even though he didn't say anything, you could see he felt bad for ever calling you that.

Good.

At least, he was learning..There was hope.

Soon after, both teams were formed and ready, weapon in hand and determination in their gaze.

Four sent you a worried look, but you only shrugged and followed Eric outside.

You knew he was not going to make it easy on you.

But, you had been under your mother's constant supervision for years. You wouldn't fail. Not this time.

Eric asked your group to split up to cover more ground and find the other team's flag. You all agreed it was for the best and split up into groups of two.

Unsurprisingly, you found yourself stuck with douchebag number 1.

Eric gestured for you to take the lead and you frowned a little suspiciously before obeying. You didn't really have a choice.

However, you didn't plan on falling in a trap..

The floor gave way underneath you and you fell into the darkness, only to land on a mattress and finding Four already waiting for you.

You didn't understand, not until Eric jumped after you and closed the trap door behind you..Oh no..You knew what this was.

This was the moment you died.

You sprang to your feet and tried to run away, but Four blocked the exit and dared you to fight with a raised eyebrow.

Eric chuckled darkly as you took a step back and looked around frantically for an escape.

"...Y/N Matthews. Damn. Aren't you the little celebrity, huh ? Why didn't you tell us who you were from the start ? We would have made preparations..", he faked a bow and you gulped.

You raised your gun at him and tried to shoot, but realized your cartridge was empty.

Sh*t.

You threw the useless gun to the floor and raised your fists instead. You may not be able to survive today, but let it not be said you didn't put up a fight !

Eric didn't hesitate before throwing you to the ground and aimed his gun at your face.

"Me who thought you Erudites were supposed to be smart..How disappointing.", he taunted you as he thrusted the end of his weapon against your temple.

Your eyes widened in fear, as you knew only one bullet could damage your brain forever and—in one last attempt to escape your fate—you looked up pleadingly at Four.

But, he forced himself to remain unresponsive to your silent pleas.

Janice was planning something, and you were probably the only person who could tell them what it was..

"What did Janice really send you here to do ?"

You were stunned by Eric's question and your lower lip trembled as you remembered your mother's order if you were to ever be caught..

A little pill was tugged away safely against one of your teeth and one crack would be enough..One tiny bite.

However, you were harshly awakened from your thoughts by the cold metal being shoved deeper against your skin and Eric's eyes seemed to gleam in the dim light allowed in from the outside..

"I won't ask again."

You knew he was serious and the reason behind his unfair treatment only downed on you now that you were trapped. They were trying to stop your mother..

As if you hadn't tried that before.

Telling them about her would only put them in danger.

"She didn't tell me anything..", you lied and both men frowned at you—clearly unconvinced.

"Your mother would have never accepted to let you go with the Dauntless if she didn't have a plan..Tell us, Nameless. Before it's too late.", Four tried to convince you—but you shook your head.

You bit down on the pill and Eric—who noticed the slight movement of your jaw—instantly knew what you had done and threw his weapon away to force your mouth open.

"I'm sorry.."

They didn't understand and you closed your eyes.

Would your mother miss you ? Probably not..

"Spit it out right now, Y/N ! Come on !", he yelled and you had no choice but to obey as he held your mouth open and forced you to spit the pill out before you could swallow it.

"You fools..She will kill us all.", you seethed through gritted teeth and Eric replied.

"Not if we kill her first.."

Your eyes widened at his response and your restrained a bitter laugh. If they only knew the number of people who had tried to hurt your mother..To kill her..She had always managed to survive.

She was unkillable.

"Fine. I'll tell you everything you want..If you promise to take me with you when the time comes.", you bargained and—after a silent moment of deliberation between the two men—Eric nodded in agreement.

But, as you raised your eyes and the two men above you seemed so determined, you couldn't help but admire them.

Your mother had told you even leaders of the Dauntless had succumbed to her power, but there obviously still were people willing to fight..

"Fine. Now, let's hear what you know, Y/N."

You closed your eyes at the sound of your own name. It had been such a long time since you had last heard it..You had almost forgotten it.

You explained your mother's plan to take over the factions to them and her plan to have an Erudite on the inside.

You also told them how an Erudite would be waiting for you outside of the compound every night to ask questions.

How many new Dauntless this year ?

How many had been disqualified ?

Did anybody find out about...you ?

That made both men frown in confusion and Eric asked.

"Find out about what, Y/N ?"

You bit your lower lip in order not to burst into tears. You had fought so hard to keep it a secret, but there was no point hiding it from them now.

You were a traitor.

You would probably be executed before sunrise..

"Mother told me she would say to everyone how much of a disgrace I was..That I was a..Divergent.", you spat that last word as if it was a curse—And maybe it was.

Both men stayed silent at the revelation and you didn't dare look up, too afraid of what you might find there. Would they be disgusted ? Horrified ? Would they execute you right here and now ?

Four knelt beside you and gently placed his hand on your knee. You finally tentatively looked up at him and what you found there made your breath hitch.

He was smiling, and there was no judgment whatsoever in his gaze.

"Your mother was wrong. There is nothing wrong about you."

You smiled back and tears started streaming down your face as you had waited a long time for anyone to say it.

"Four. She's Janice's spy. We can't help her. Plus, if she's a Divergent..", Eric started, but Four cut him off.

There was nothing wrong about you..

But, Eric interrupted your moment.

"So what ?!", Four boomed and turned towards Eric who took a couple of steps back at the dark glare his friend was now giving him. "I thought you were on my side !"

Eric's brow furrowed at Four's accusation and he didn't look away as he replied sternly.

"You know very well that I'm not like them. But, it doesn't change anything. It was hard enough to hide...*he restrained from saying Four's name* How are we supposed to hide her ?"

Four's expression softened as he looked down at you.

"We will find a way. We can't leave her like this.."

Both men looked down at you and Eric tsskd.

"Fine. But, just so you know. I warned you."

He left.

Four looked at him go and when he was out of sight, helped you up.

Turned out, your team had won the game.

A few months later during the Erudite insurgency :

It had been months since your last personal interaction with either Eric or Four. It seemed they hadn't decided on a way to help you yet, other than to give false information to Janice and let you stay in the Dauntless program.

One day, you woke up to find everyone else already up and getting ready.

However, something felt off.

The other Dauntless recruits' eyes were glassy and it seemed as if they couldn't see you. At all.

You decided to follow them, remain impassive as the leaders checked for any potential Divergent..

Janice hadn't warned you. You were on your own. You felt your throat constrict at the thought that she would do this to you..

But then, you were surprised when you felt a familiar presence behind you.

"Don't stop.", he whispered and relief washed over you as you recognized Four's voice.

You had suspected he was also a Divergent. At least, you weren't alone.

However, you felt your heart drop to the pit of your stomach as you saw Eric among the corrupted leaders. He walked past you to get to one of the people who hadn't been affected by the serum and you didn't need to turn around to know what was about to happen next.

The gun shot resounded all around the compound and it was a miracle your legs succeeded in staying operational.

Thankfully, Four was still by your side and his fingertips brushed your wrist for a second.

A bomb exploding not far from where you were and all the conscious Dauntless ran over there.

You knew Eric had no choice and that he was supposed to act like them, but it didn't make it any harder to know that he was alone and forced to kill people he had surely known for years..

It became even worse when one of the Dauntless took Four apart and lined him up in another line.

However, someone suddenly grabbed your hand and pinned you against the wall with his hand clamped firmly over your mouth.

It took time for you to recognize Eric.

He seemed really terrified, his eyes flickered all around him for any sign someone could have spotted you both, but relaxed slightly at the lack of Dauntless around.

"Come with me.", he ordered you after opening a trap door in the floor, the same one where they had interrogated you.

"Wait ! Where's Four ?!", you screamed and Eric shook his head.

"How the hell should I know ?!"

The rest of your conversation was interrupted by a series of gun shots. You then decided to follow him and closed the trap door behind you.

A few days later :

"We need to go find Four."

You had been repeating the same thing for days, but it seemed as if Eric was deaf to your demand and only went out to find food and water.

"We can't do anything for now..We have to stick to the plan. Hide and wait until we can find a way to rally the others and stop the Erudites."

You shook your head and shouted.

"Four is out there ! And you're sitting there as if he didn't matter !"

Eric's jaw twitched perceptibly at the accusation and he looked away. You couldn't believe it..The guy had no problem shout and run into danger, so why was he holding back ?

"Tell me..Why are you still here ? You don't like me. You don't like Erudites. You don't like Divergents. So, why in the name of the Great Factions are you still here ?!"

That earned a reaction as he suddenly stood up and glared daggers at you.

"You think I don't care ?! If I didn't care about you, do you really think I would have put my a** on the line for you ?! I could have rat you out to the Dauntless, or the damn Erudites to get Four back ! But instead, I'm stuck here with you !"

You closed your mouth and Eric smirked—thinking he won until you spoke again.

"...Why did you then ?", you asked in a whisper and Eric's confident expression fell and for the first time since you met him, he refused to look at you.

He sat back down and remained silent.

You sighed and sat down next to him, waiting for an answer.

You were starting he wouldn't give you any when he begrudgingly confessed.

"My sister was a Divergent. But, unlike you and Four, she was found and executed when we were children. So, no. I do not have anything against your kind and I do have a good reason to hate the Erudites."

Your eyes widened at the revelation and even though you had never actually partook in any Divergent execution, you knew the formalities.

The moment someone was suspected to be a Divergent, they were to be imprisoned or await execution..

It was the reason your mother had never allowed you outside of your home when she had discovered what you were and forced you to remain a perfect Erudite for the longest time.

When you wanted to run or would draw on the walls, she would discipline you.

You had never understood why, not until witnessing the public execution of a Divergent when you were little.

A little girl. Not a lot older than you. She was brought in the main room and everyone had remained passive as the girl was screaming and sobbing loudly..

The execution had happened so quickly, just a blink and you would have missed it.

But, you hadn't.

You hadn't blinked as your mother had proclaimed her no Divergent speech in front of everyone on the podium where the girl had just been killed..Nor did you miss the little boy glaring daggers at your mother, cheeks wet with tears as his parents forced him to stay still and watch.

You closed your eyes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know.", you said truthfully and hesitantly laid your hand over his.

You had never understood why Eric had been so hard on you since day 1, but you understood better now..

He looked at your hands and nodded shortly.

"Yeah..Me too.", he replied after a moment, closing his fingers over your hand. "That's why, I'll protect you and Four..I failed to protect my sister, I won't let anything happen to you. You're the only family I've got left."

Your breath hitched as you both stared in each other's eyes and for a moment, you forgot all about who he was and who you were or why you were both hiding in the basement of some old run-down building..

You kissed him.

He didn't stop you.

If this was to be your last night, then you'd make it count..

The next day :

You woke up before him and discreetly got prepared, making sure not to make a sound. You addressed Eric an apologetic look before leaving.

You knew he would have never accepted you to go on your own, but you were probably the only person capable of getting into Erudite headquarters without being caught.

You could even maybe convince your mother to stop all this ? Or, at least you hoped..

As you had predicted, it wasn't hard to get in, as everyone still recognized you as Janice's daughter and main ally in the Erudite rebellion.

Once the security gates passed, you ran to the cells and found Four there, his eyes downcast to the floor and a black eye already forming on his face.

You bit your lower lip guiltily and when you called him, Four's eyes snapped up at you with surprise.

"Y/N ?"

You shushed him by raising your finger at the level of your mouth and he nodded understandingly.

The moment his cell was opened however, an alarm broke out and you saw guards run past you.

You both frowned in incomprehension—as you thought they were coming for you—and rushed to the window to look outside.

Your eyes widened as you saw Eric standing of an Erudite toppled over car with a flaming bottle of alcool in his hand.

"COME GET ME, YOU SONS OF B*TCHES !"

He then through the bottle at the door just as the guards were running out.

He then smirked and raised his hands in the air, a signal that the rest of the Factions hidden in the buildings all around understood.

You then saw waves of people from different Factions run forward, past Eric who disappeared in the mass of red, black and yellow...It was beautiful.

Factions fighting together for their freedom.

But, you didn't understand. How had he managed to collect so many people in such little time ?

You then remembered his many runs in and out of your hiding place where he had pretended to look for food.

You smiled and shook your head.

That clever little bastard..

Sounds of gun shots were heard behind you and you saw two guards aiming at you.

Thankfully, you were quicker and took them both down. Four then picked up one of their weapons and you were both about to join Eric and the others, but you suddenly stopped as you ran past your mother's private quarters.

You knew what you needed to do..

Four gave you a quizzical look and you smiled weakly at him.

"They need you. I'm the only one who she'll maybe listen to. I'll..join you after. I promise."

He hesitated about leaving you alone with Janice, but finally nodded in agreement before running downstairs.

He knew you were right and trusted you.

The thought alone was enough to give you the courage to open the door.

In Janice's private quarters :

You took a tentative step forward and was not really surprised to find Janice already waiting for you.

"Is that really what you wanted, Y/N ?", she asked without turning around to face you, staring at her ranks of soldiers being overthrown by the Factions..

Eric and the troups eventually succeeded in breaking in, thanks to Four's help.

"To see me fall ? To see me lose face ? Was I so cruel of a mother to you ?"

You didn't answer.

You had only ever been a failure in her eyes..

She had never said she loved you.

She had always protected you, but it was only for her selfish interest.

You had never once felt any warmth from her towards you.

She had never calmed you down when you had nightmares.

She had never even once held you.

"Yes..You were.", you finally uttered and it was at that moment your mother turned around—her face twisted with anger.

"YOU TRAITOR !", she shouted and you flinched.

She raised her hand to slap you, but you grabbed her arm before she could and cried out.

"I LOVED YOU ! I even once aspired to be like you. I worshipped you. You were my mother and I did everything to make you proud. But, it was never enough. It was never going to be enough..Was it ?"

She huffed a mocking laugh at you, her eyes so cold it left frostbite wherever she would look at.

"Like me ? You're a poor blend of impulses and impurities. You'll never be like me."

Her answer was so mercilessly sharp, you felt it cut deep in your heart.

You expected it, but it still hurt to hear it from her.

You took her hand and pressed the palms against her personal computer to open the files of the Dauntless who had been given the serum..

You then pressed the delete all files button and even though she struggled, you were stronger than her now..

Once it was finally over, you released her.

And even though she had made it pretty clear she had never loved you, you still wanted to give her a chance.

"You could still come with me. I would tell everyone you are the one who willingly stopped all of this. You could be the hero, as I know you always wanted to be.."

You held your hand forward for her to take, but she only spat hatefully.

"I'd rather die.."

You let your arm fall back by your side and huffed a humorless laugh.

"Thank you, mother..For making it so easy."

You didn't hesitate before shooting her.

Alerted by the sound, Four and Eric ran inside and found you standing there, your mother on the floor and your trembling hand still holding the gun.

They instantly knew what was going on and held you as you burst into tears.

"I..I killed her..I..I killed my mom..", you sobbed on Four's shoulder.

"It's okay. She would have faced the consequences eventually.", Four reassured you and Eric nodded in agreement.

Eric glared at Janice's dead body and held you closer.

"Believe me. You did the right thing..."

Finally, his sister was avenged and he pressed his forehead against yours.

"...You did the right thing.", he insisted and there was such confidence in his voice that it made you stop crying. He cupped your cheeks and smiled.

You had never seen him smile so brightly before.

"Everything is going to be alright."

And you believed him. Because, how could you not ? How could you not believe the only person who knew exactly what you were going through ? The only person who could push you beyond your limits and who you loved more than anything..

"Four..Leave the room."

Four was about to protest—but Eric sent him a warning glance and he immediately understood.

He sighed and left.

Once he was gone, Eric turned back towards you and asked.

"Say..Four and I decided to leave once everything is over. How about you and I leave together ?"

You looked up at him and asked.

"Right now ?"

Eric smiled and nodded.

"Yeah. You. Me. And Four. Let the Factions decide for themselves what they wanna do and let's just..go."

You bit back a smiled before leaning back against him.

"I would say you're crazy..to think for even a moment I wouldn't say yes."

He smiled at your agreement and kissed you passionately before scooping you up in his arms and leaving the room.

You walked down the stairs and Four was already waiting for you outside with two bikes.

Of course.

You sat down behind Eric and he asked with a small smile.

"So..Ready ?"

You wrapped your arms around his waist and gave one last look at the building you had grown up in. The place you thought you would never leave..You smiled and then nodded.

"Yeah."

Eric didn't need to be told twice before driving off, Four following closely.

You didn't know where you were going, but if you were being honest with yourself, you didn't really care..

[liftandtakeoffamari]

Ult Ghost MWII masterlists

Hi everyone. I wanted to make a master list for all of the people who cannot find Ghost Fanfics. This is also more for me to find and document them so I don't forget.

If you a creator are in here then congrats, i like your work. If not, I'll find it eventually.

DISCLAIMER: these are not my work and most characters are owned by Infinity Ward. Their names are there and underlined. Please follow their works and DO NOT COPY THEIR WORK, Thanks.

Also, keep in mind that most of these (or all) are slow burns and what I would consider realistic for the character (he’s still everyone’s Lil meow meow and bbg)

Example:

Creator (linked if more works) Favourite work/series (linked) Summary: summary of said work/series. Opinion: Honest ig. You don't have to care for my opinon.

Ghost x Reader

*highly recommend

killingick Greens Eyes, White Lies Summary: none. You hating a person for flirting w ghost. Ghost realises while yall smoke and va voom. OP: Very lit. There's a second part to it.

toshidou* Lighthouse for a Lost Comrade Summary: none. go down ˅˅˅˅ OP: like a headcanon for someone joining the 141 but e x p a n d e d.

Emma Lee Underground Summary: You and Ghost get trapped in an avalanche. OP: Legit couldn't find a favourite. Check em out shes great. She also does wholesome stuff and whump.

wakatshi untouchable Summary: none. You know the Ghost but you rarely see Simon. w smut OP: They have more working coming up. I like em. It wont let me link tho :(

frostyghosts REQUEST Summary: The 141 meets Simon's girlfriend and learns that opposites really do attract. OP: very cute. I love it alot.

levada* In Undertow Summary: none. you cocky betch said something provocative while ghost can hear it. OP: one of the best ones i read. Highly recommend. Theres a pt2.

foxxydevil Ch 1 - Alone with Him Summary: In the mission "Alone" Ghost and Soap get separated after being betrayed by Graves. What if you also survived? Hauled up in the churches towers looking over Las Almas you and Ghost do your best to stay distracted while helping Soap to survive. OP: I like.

sta4rsw1rlDying By The HandSummary: Task Force 141 had been ambushed during a mission and was then soon to be asked to train a new recruit for the team. They expect the soldier to fall into a certain category and get their hands full when they actually meet the soldier

mvtthewmurdvck keep you close Summary: he's pretty sure he's in love with you. not that he'll admit it, acknowledge it. OP: Haven't fully read it yet.

adiosmotherfck Find my Comfort in You Summary: He hopelessly fell, but you weren't that easy to read, leaving him thinking and wondering, until one partly successful mission changes everything between you two OP: Haven't read it yet.

bingobiongobongo something to be grateful for Summary: Ghost’s never celebrated Thanksgiving before. For one, he’s not even American, and two, he never had anything to be thankful for. But this year? This year he’s thankful for you. OP: can't find the ghost masterlist. Update found the maze

nsharks merry christmas, lieutenant Summary: soap runs into his lieutenant off-duty and meets the girl he’s been keeping secret (you). OP: ahhhhhh so cuteee but theres no master list. look for yourself :(

wttcsms* these eyes were made for lookin' at you (only you) summary: simon riley didn’t ask to be a hero, but he finds himself wanting to be yours. OP: the best of the best writers. love em honestly. support them

I am calm, dammit! The truth is out summary: Rumor has it you're a psychopath but Ghost begins to doubt it. When you end up on the run together, the truth eventually comes out about your mutual feelings. OP: I love it. Love. They don't have a masterlist but they have more Ghost and Soap fics

river-fics Who Is She? summary: You’re a mystery to the 141 Taskforce, no one knows your past or how you were recruited. To be honest they’re too scared to ask. OP: i like em. doesn't have a masterlist

circe69 Get closer summary: you have a nightmare about ghost dying so you make sure he's still breathing. fluffy cuddles. good stuff. OP: cute

soapyghost CAUGHT summary: none. wattpady ghost x reader OP: its okay

strikecommander The Choices We Make Pt.1 summary: In other words, a mission gone south turns the reader and Ghost to say things they don't mean, and things they do mean. OP: dam

Ghost Headcanons

p.s. they might have more headcanons!

cairdelunelove summary: ghost has noticed a lot of individualized quirks that you have and he'd hate to admit it but they're utterly attractive to him. headcanon edition! OP: they have more hc

sweetnothingtm request: i genuinely need simon to be so mean, like mocking and laughing when reader is is begging to cum and calling her names when he finds out she gets off on it. this man has actually ruined me OP:slay

mactavishwritings request: ghost confessing their feelings to the reader

moondirti request: ghost with a chronically ill partner OP: yes

Kewl Ghost drawings

crumbztoast

notnelle - unmasked

Made: November 2022 ish

Updated: 18 Nov 22 - aussie aussie aussie oi oi oi

[thecrusadercomrade]

Hello! I think your writing and TWDG AUs are the bees knees! They're full of possibilities I had never really considered and I'm glad you both exist! My favorite chapter of your 'What Ifs' fic so far is ch13, where Nick survives! <3

If it's okay, I offer some TWDG What If ideas/prompts.

1: What If - Sophie had successfully escaped the Delta, but without Minerva?

2: What If - Mariana Garcia could also survive Season 3, similarly to Gabe?

3: What If - Any of the kids (older teens and infants included) who died during the events of the game (with the exception/inclusion of Sophie because I am WEAK) survive and possibly group up and travel with Clem (& eventually AJ I guess?) going forward into the future seasons and possibly up until the final season? This leaves a lot of possibilities to do individually, or in any combination (or all at once if you feel like being huffing that writer's hubris lol) which I will list below by Season but feel free to add any you feel fit the bill or that I've missed.

S1: Travis, Duck, Fivel (he counts because he showed up as a walker & dies in the S1 attic in Savannah, his parents either died or abandoned him, willingly or forced, by joining Crawford which didn't allow kids because Social Darwinism bullshit), and Ben Paul.

S2: Michelle (the teen who killed Omid, if you're feeling brave), Omid Jr (Christ & Omid's baby, goes w/ Clem because Christa wouldn't confront bandits while holding an infant, but doesn't drown in the river pls), Sarah, Jane's unnamed baby (Determinant, Jane doesn't have to survive).

S4: Any of the Ericson kids who died (for sure) in S4, so Brody, Marlon, Mitch, and Minerva. (I didn't include Tenn because his death is Determinant in canon).

Idk call this idea 'Congrats, All Orphans' or sumthin, lol. X3

Anyways, I hope these ideas are fun and okay or helpful and thought-provoking in some way. Also, I wish you a wonderful day! <333

Aww, thank you so much for the extremely kind words! Seeing this pop up in my inbox brought a big smile to my face! I really like that chapter as well, I enjoyed getting into Nick's headspace and seeing what kinds of decisions he'd make based on his idolized idea of Luke and his desire to protect the few people he has left.

I've already gotten a request for Sophie to successfully escape WITH Minnie, but I'll see if I can come up with two separate storylines that are differentiated enough I don't have to combine the two prompts!

I've also gotten a request for Mariana to survive, so I'll definitely put your name down as one of the ones who requested it!

As for your third prompt, I love how much thought you've put into it, especially that name, which is AMAZING, but I've actually got an idea for a standalone TWDG story that's very similar to this one! The idea for that story is that Lee survives season 1, and ends up adopting every child/teenager in the series. For that reason, I'm gonna have to decline doing this one as a What If, as I want to do an expanded version of this idea as its own story, which I very much hope you'll enjoy when it eventually comes out.

Thank you so much again for the ask, and for all the requests! Readers like you enjoying my stories are what give me the motivation to keep on writing. May you have a wonderful day as well!

[quackisinnit]

Our Own Good || c!Dream x Reader

Summary: Dream and Techno team up to destroy L'manburg. You find out the day they announce it and confront Dream.

Notes: this is for @inniterhq's event! congrats once again:))

Genre: angst, romantic/platonic (can be interpreted however), gender neutral, in-game

Warnings: none, lmk if theres any

You grabbed your bow and arrow and shot the wither. This alerted it and gave all its attention to you. Your eyes went wide and before you could get another shot, a black skull came your way.

Fortunately, you were able to dodge it in time. The explosions coming from the withers and tnt were deafening. You grabbed an ender pearl and threw high into the air, causing you to land on the obsidian. 

There you found the man behind it all, Dream.

He stood there in his netherite armor and a small grin plastered on his face. Dream stood near where all the tnt was falling and had his back turned against you.

"Dream." 

He turned around at the sound of your voice. It was raspy, probably from all the shouting or dust. 

The grin that was once small stretched into a bigger one. "Y/n, I'm so glad you're here!" he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and ruffled your hair up. 

"What? Get off me!" you swatted his arm off you and fixed your hair. "I can't believe you Dream, how could you?" tears started to form in your eyes and your breathing started to become more heavy. 

He saw this and his grin was replaced with a frown. "Hey, hey, hey wait- Don't cry, I'm only doing this for your own good- no, our own good. I did this so that we can finally be free!"

"Our own good? What does that even mean? You destroyed this country for 'our own good?' They're all suffering down there!" 

You looked down and saw your friends and people who you considered family. They were all trying their best to survive the withers and the tnt. It was hell down there. 

"When I'm done with this, we can finally be happy together. No more L'manburg, no more Tommy, just peace and quiet together." he slowly started walking towards you with his arms slowly stretching out as well, which you presumed was to hug you. 

You slowly backed away until you reached the edge. Dream still walked closer to you, arms more streched out. "Please," he said breathlessly. "I'm doing this for us. I know you may think it's a little much but it's all going to be worth it in the end, I promise." He was now infront of you and he wrapped his arms around you. 

"Killing our friends and family isnt a 'little much.' It's something only a maniac would do." you said with a harsh tone. "Like I said, it's for your own go-"

You finally had enough, you were tired of him repreating himself, so you pushed him off, "Stop saying that." your tone was much harsher, more raspier. 

"You know what Dream? Whatever we had between us, it's over. I hate you."

That was it, that was what really hurt Dream. No matter how many arguments you had, you never said you hated him. He stood there, speechless. 

What you said was a bit cruel, but you meant it. You turned around, ready to jump off. Before you did, you said your final words to Dream. 

"Theres nothing you can do that can make up for this." 

The wither flew near to where you were standing which gave you a clean shot to injure it. Dream reached out to you to say something, but you had already jumped. 

You got your sword and plunged it into the wither's middle skull. It let out a scream of pain and tried to shake you off. 

It was succesful in doing so and you fell off. You got a ender pearl and threw it at the ground so that you wouldn't break your legs. 

Once you landed, you gave Dream one last final look of disgust and pain. "I can't believe this." you muttered to yourself. 

You ran off to help Sam and Quackity, who were currently struggling to fight off a wither. 

As you fought, you thought about what Dream said. Was it really for your own good? Or was it for power? After all you've been through, how could he just blow up the place where you called home? 

So many thought raced through your head, but there was one thing you were certain of, and that was that you hated Dream and you had cut him off. He was out of your life, forever. 

[star-puff]

meg!!! once again, congrats on your milestone!!! i see kenshi yonezu and mao buyi👀👀👀 questions: what's your favourite word in english, vietnamese, and chinese!! andddd what's your favourite trope to write about and what are three things you like most about your writing?

ren 🥺🥺 you know i love oh so dearly :((

and yes fjwjf i've been a fan of kenshi yonezu since his vocaloid days, and mao buyi 🥺🥺 his voice 🥺🥺🥺 not to mention i watched that one survival show where he was a vocal judge and he's so adorable fjsjfksk i love him :')

okok favorite words:

there's so many to pick from (ren you're really making me choose😭), but i think my favorite chinese word is 缘分. my chinese teacher mentioned it offhandedly once, and it stuck with me, probably bc i have an attachment to things relating to destiny :') but its like, it's destiny but not really, bc there's more underlying in it than just 'destiny.' special mention to 云, bc i love the way the top half resembles an overcast. it just really embodies the meaning 'cloud'

there's also a vietnamese version of 缘分, duyên phận, but strangely this is Not my favorite vietnamese word. my favorite viet word is something a lot simpler: nhớ. it's one of those words that have a double meaning, to miss, or to remember. there was a passage in a book i read once called 'on earth we were briefly gorgeous' by ocean vuong, and there was a passage that really stuck with me:

In Vietnamese, the word for missing someone and remembering them is the same: nhớ. Sometimes, when you ask me over the phone, Con nhớ mẹ không? I flinch, thinking you meant, Do you remember me?

I miss you more than I remember you.

i'm a sucker for double meanings, what can i say :'') another special mention to thường, because it's kind of the vietnamese version of pragma, an enduring type of love that is long-lasting. i'm lucky to have a family that never shied away from saying 'i love you,' so i always grew up with the words 'mà dới ba thường còn lắm,' meaning 'mom and dad love you very much.' tbh when they say it today i still get warm & fuzzy haha

and favorite english word...hm, i think i'd have to say i rly love the word 'laquered.' i just love the way it sounds fjsjfk like, it's almost an onomatopoeia with how fitting the 'qu' sounds compared to the sound of laquered wood clicking against each other. tis fitting, very fitting indeed (ᅌᴗᅌ* )

favorite trope to write about:

i love writing things involving a character arc ending with a full circle moment! literally all of my works have this and i feel like i'm overusing at this point, but it's just...it's so fulfilling to see the same circumstance but with a changed character :')

3 favorite things abt my writing:

hdkakclalc ren pls i'm so bad with self-praise, but i will try :') these are in no particular order

1. i think i write atmosphere of the scene well? whether it be intensity of emotions or the intimacy of the moment, i think i portray the mood accurately to what i'm thinking of in my brain! i think a big part is bc i write visually, so i always play out the scene like i'm watching a movie. this lends me know exactly what it is i'm picturing so i can then describe it to the audience :)

2. similar to 1, i've been told that the way i write allows readers to emote! the emotions i write into the scene are (for the most part) what the reader ends up feeling as well, so i'm happy that i can successfully do that

3. ok all of these are interconnected but i think my third one is imagery! i don't like to put overly flowery language in my writing, i've had too many bad experiences of tried attempts to include it in my own writing, so i like how my imagery includes everything needed but still manages to convey atmosphere & energy without using too many metaphors. FULL respect to writers who manage to pull it off though!

the way i had to think super hard for that top 3 sjfjwkfkdk

(edit: after reading these i'm realizing they are...all basically the same thing DJKDKF)

thank you for your questions ren! again ilyvm, i hope you have a wonderful day!!

come ask me questions!

[feralforfrank]

Congrats on hitting 101 followers!! Please could I request:

Javier Peña (and Steve as bestie). Y/n is their partner and is feeling extremely burnt out; running on empty, coffee, cigarettes and not much else. She’s barely sleeping or eating and constantly has a tight chest and racing heart. They both know something is up with her but she just shrugs it off until one day, Javi is out on a raid and she reaches her breaking point. Steve manages to get her home but can’t reach Javi until he gets back to the embassy etc. Plus a lil Carrillo just cause! Thank you!!

STRESSED.

JAVIER PEÑA x FEM!READER

summary working the escobar case sure can wear someone down. you finally reach your limit. but javier and steve are there.

cw panic attack, angst, reader mostly surviving on cigs and coffee. ANGSTTT WITH HAPPY ENDING. NON-DESCRIPTIVE READER.

a/n i used y/n ONLY ONCE bc it was literally inevitable. please forgive me, i hate using y/n lmfao. i think this is my biggest fic yet tbh.

masterlist.

"This is your tenth one in two hours. Maybe you should slow down a bit." Steve's voice was irritating you more and more as time passed.

He'd been trying to get you to eat and sleep, claiming that you looked like a zombie for the past two weeks. At first, you'd shrugged it off, chuckling and changing the subject. The chase for Escobar continued, leaving you stressed and tired but without the energy to consume anything that wasn't cigarettes or coffee.

But now, this shit was getting tiring. You guessed Steve had run to Javier, begging for his help, seeing as you listened to the man more. And now they were both bugging you. Don't smoke, no more coffee, sleep in for once! The more they followed you around, the more you smoked, feeling like a caged animal, being watched twenty-four-seven by your friends.

You knew they were doing it because they loved you. Steve had been your best friend and partner since you could remember. You and he built a strong bond over your love for whiskey, catching Escobar, and the few steamy nights you'd shared ever since you got to Colombia. What? The man was attractive as hell. And also a gentleman, if he wanted to.

And so, as you lit your tenth cigarette, you flipped off the attractive brunet sitting on your desk. Javier's eyebrows were furrowed in worry as you inhaled and exhaled, looking at nothing in particular.

"Ay, niña bonita, tal vez deberías quedarte fuera de esto." Your gaze snapped up to meet his, your face showing just how insulted you felt.

(Hey, pretty girl, maybe you should sit this one out.)

"¿Qué? ¿Crees que no soy lo suficientemente bueno para estar contigo porque eres hombre?"

(What? You think I'm not good enough to be with you because you're men?)

You knew this was an irrational thought. It was just something your tired brain had made up. Yet, your cloudy and frustrated mind used this as an excuse to get angry, to produce adrenaline so you could wake up.

"What are you talking about, hermosa? You know I'm just worried about you and your health," Javi tried to reason as you stood up, suddenly feeling your throat closing up.

He went to follow you, but a hand on his bicep stopped him from doing so. He turned to look at Steve, who seemed as worried as him. They both watched you bump into Carillo, not once apologising or looking back, but continuing to make a beeline for the exit.

"¿Qué pasó con tu rayo de sol?" Carillo looked at Javier, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

(What happened to your little ray of sunshine?)

"Si tan solo supiera," Javier replied, his eyes never leaving your retreating figure.

(If only I knew.)

"Should I get her off the raid team?" Carillo asked.

Javier nodded. "Just don't tell her. She's not going down without a fight, and I worry that she doesn't have much left in her."

"Don't worry. I'll distract her when you guys head out." Steve added.

—

It turns out you didn't need distracting. All it took was for Steve to change the clock on the wall behind you to a few hours back, and that was it. Your head had been buried in files and paperwork until ten at night, two hours after the Search Bloc and Javi had departed.

You didn't pick up on anything being wrong until you realised that the only people in the office were you, Steve, and perhaps a cleaning lady.

"Steve, what the fuck?"

His gaze lifted from the file he was reading, a questioning hum escaping his lips.

"Where's everyone?" You asked although you felt like you knew the answer.

He looked at his watch. "Erm, they should be coming back in a few. Why—Oh shit!"

Steve barely had time to duck in safety from the empty plastic coffee cup that flew his way. "What the fuck, Steve? Why am I here? I'm supposed to be out with the Search Bloc and Javi—Oh God, where's Javi? That cabrón left me here. Oh fuck—"

Your knees failed you as soon as you stood up. You gasped for air, your chapped lips tasting your salty tears. Steve held you close to him, whispering soothing words in your ear, but it didn't work.

Your mind was exhausted, and all you wanted was Javi. Javi, who had been so kind to you these past few weeks, even though you kept bitching at him. Javi, who tricked you into staying at the Embassy and excluding you from one of the biggest busts ever. Steve had something to do with that too, Carillo too, you reminded yourself.

You knew what you wanted. Javier Peña. You wanted to scream at him, punch him, shoot him, kick him black and blue, for leaving you behind like a child. But you also wanted his arms around you, the feeling of comfort he provided without even realising. You wanted the Javier you had grown so used to drinking with at night and then fucking all the stress away.

"I want to go to Javi, Steve. Please, let me go to Javi!" Your brain's jumbled thoughts could agree on one thing. You wanted Javier.

"You need food and water, and most importantly, sleep." Steve grabbed your arms and helped you up, wiping your wet cheeks.

It was easier to pick you up and get to his car, seeing as he'd done it a million times before. The only exception was that this time you were far too light. It felt like he was carrying a lifeless body, and the thought alone urged him to walk faster to the car.

You were calmer than before. He guessed the coffee and cigs combination had something to do with your panic attack, and he sighed. He blamed himself for not looking after you properly, something he'd promised to do to your father before the two of you left for Colombia.

The only one to blame is this case and the stress on her shoulders—no one else.

He cursed when Javier didn't pick up. Your eyes were closed, and your breathing was shaky but steady—you were asleep. But even in your sleep, you seemed uneasy, with a frown etched on your face and Javier's name coming out of your mouth in whimpers. He was the only one who could really help you.

Steve knew about the hook-ups, his apartment walls were thin, and the two of you weren't always quiet. But he also acknowledged the comfort you provided for each other, the bond that seemed to strengthen every day and the friendship that would soon become something different.

He didn't stop calling Javier, not even when he arrived at his apartment, when he laid your unconscious body in Javi's bed, or when he poured himself a scotch. Worry was starting to eat him from the inside out. Had something gone wrong?

Eventually, Javier picked up. "Where the hell are you, man?" He'd asked, clearly worried.

"I'm at your house, man. Y/N freaked out on me. She wanted you, but you weren't picking up. So I brought her here."

Javier mumbled I'm coming and the line went dead. There was no doubt in his mind that Javier would speed his way through traffic to get to you, and it almost made him smile. He was definitely a sucker for you.

The front door opened, and a sweaty Javier entered. "Where is she?"

—

When you opened your eyes again, it was because somebody was pocking you. Or shaking you. Your eyes opened slowly and painfully, still riddled with sleep. A headache danced its way around your skull, causing you to hiss in pain.

"Come on, mija, wake up. You have to eat." That annoyingly beautiful voice. Javier.

"What are you doing here?" Your voice was hoarse, your throat dry.

"This is my home, querida. You're in my bed." He spoke with a chuckle.

You sat up, brushing your hair back and tucking it behind your ear. You looked around, and indeed, this was Javier's room. Although most times you'd been in here, it was dark, and your mind was occupied by...other activities, you recognised the soft mattress and the scent of smoke and lavender.

Your cheeks burned, and you looked down, realising that the soft material touching your skin wasn't the itchy shirt and pants you'd previously been wearing. It was a t-shirt, a plain grey t-shirt. Javier's plain grey t-shirt.

"Did you undress me?" 

He nodded. "I saw how uncomfortable you looked," he paused. "I-I hope I didn't overstep." You shook your head.

"It's fine. I trust you." That sentence alone made his heart beat a tiny bit faster. He smiled softly at you, but his eyes showed just how concerned he was.

"I'm sorry." Your voices merged,

"You go first," he prompted.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. You were right about nagging me to eat and drink. I-I guess I was so stressed about finishing up the paperwork and making sure the raid went okay that I neglected myself and took it out on you. You didn't deserve that." I'm sorry I was such a bitch. I hope you can forgive me.

"Okay then, my turn. I'm sorry that I nagged you so much. It didn't help your stressed-out brain at all. I should've helped you in a different way." I promise to take care of you better next time you need me.

"I forgive you."

"And I forgive you." 

You shared a smile. "Do you want to eat now? I made chicken soup—it's the only thing I know how to make." You giggled and nodded as he handed you the bowl of steaming soup.

"I can't believe you tricked me into staying at the Embassy. And I can't believe I fell for it." Javier chuckled at your words.

"It was very cruel of me, I know," he mocked, and you slapped his bicep.

"I am deeply wounded, Mr Peña." I forgive you if you give me a kiss.

"Ah, you'll get over it." I'll give you a million kisses to make up for my mistake.

You looked at each other. Javier's face was more relaxed now. He wore a lazy loop-sided grin. He leaned back on the bed, watching you eat, and that's when you took in his attire. He was wearing sweatpants—a rare sight to behold—and a matching grey t-shirt. You've never seen him look so domestic.

Javier slowly took you in. He skimmed his eyes down your body to your exposed crossed legs and arms, which looked tiny compared to the shirt you wore. You looked more than beautiful in this attire. Adorable. Delicious, even. Your hair was messy, and your eyes screamed exhaustion, but the bright smile you wore told him everything he needed to know. You were going to be fine. And he could get used to this sight.

He was the first that broke the eye contact, feeling more flustered than he should under your gaze. Jesus, you're not a fucking teenage boy. Pull yourself together, man. He decided to get up and grab the desert he had for you.

"Where are you going?" Your voice came out choked. You enjoyed his company more than you let on.

"I'm going to grab your favourite dessert, princesa. I'll be right back." The kiss he left on your forehead should be classified as a federal crime.

It took you a minute to compose yourself. Javier Peña has just kissed your forehead and bought your favourite dessert. Holy fucking shit. 

You could definitely get used to this.