#if your a jewish nonbinary person i hope you see this

[not12001ants]

My pronouns are (((they))), (((them)))

[is-the-fire-real]

judío por elección (part 4)

(part 1. part 2. part 2.5. part 3.)

I thought I was ready to meet the Rabbi, but I was wrong.

I have severe social anxiety. I believed I'd prepped to introduce myself on the Zoom call for our Intro to Judaism class. Turned out I kept turning the mic off when it should have been on, and vice versa. I stumbled my way through a basic intro in extremely broken Spanish.

I glanced at my wife, and they whispered: "You're way too loud on the mic, and you can speak in English. He speaks it."

Even thought that's my native language, I was now so discombobulated by having to reset my brain that I said some bullshit that probably didn't make sense, which is a great way of impressing the guy who's responsible for your conversion. It took me ten minutes of silently crying in front of my (thankfully, camera-less) computer to recover.

Fortunately, the Rabbi is extremely decent and has probably heard way worse than me. He politely switched between Spanish and English throughout the first class to make sure I understood certain points.

Our homework is to study some topics related to the biet dim's questions (monotheism and ethics) and present our findings to him next class. He says he wants to learn how each of us researches and records information, which is an excellent thing to learn. And he told us which portion of the Torah is being read.

We'll have to show him our scriptures next time to see if he thinks they're appropriate translations. We're converting Conservative and some of our books came from different practices. He's also made it clear that everybody converting will talk to the biet dim of Europe in their own native tongue, which is great for me, sure, but also important to my Spanish-speaking friends.

When my wife said that they were nonbinary and I was trans, the Rabbi didn't bat an eye, but we didn't get to talk much about it in detail. But, afterward, another person in the group hopped onto the shul's group chat to talk about being trans and Jewish and shared some English resources with us.

There was another trans person there the whole time!

I think the anxiety is down to a manageable level now. Homework, I can do. I'm looking forward to having coffee in the morning and reading and studying with my wife instead of doomscrolling.

It feels good to be able to do something instead of wallowing, or crying uncontrollably. (It's also morally neutral to cry uncontrollably. That's what the 'uncontrollable' part means.) To be able to know what kinds of things I'm looking for in my books instead of staring at the huge stack and not knowing where to start.

And I hope the Rabbi is as kind as he seems and that he won't hold my stumbling against me.

[local-queer-disappointment]

unpinning my nice fun positivity post because I want to talk a little about this space that I've created. I think a dni is stupid because people never listen anyways, which is why I haven't had one, but I still see the value in at least telling people who this little corner is for.

also YELL AT ME ON DISCORD I'M woahits_alex.mp3 IF U ASK ME ABOUT FIC RECS FOR MY FANDOMS I'LL CRY WITH HAPPINESS

you are welcome here:

- ALL queers. trans men, trans women, nonbinary, intersex, xenogender, "contradictory" labels like mspec gays/lesbians lesboys/sapphileans (omg it's me!!), slur reclaims, detransitioners who are not transphobic, mspec lesbians, aro/ace and all variations thereupon, unlabeled, questioning, etc. I love all of you. I love the community that we have. we are family, whether or not some of us want to be, and exclusionism is Not Funky Fresh!!

- pro Palestine!! I don't rb posts as much (I am scared of spreading misinformation) but I think I'll start doing that again! (don't forget your daily click guys)

- jewish people. I am specifically adding this one to say that because of the shitty Everything, I sincerely hope I have never spread any antisemitic rhetoric in support of Palestine, reblogs or otherwise. it is not your guys' job to educate me, but I hope it's clear that I'm operating in good faith.

- disabilities/cluster b disorders/systems/AAC users. I am not any of these things so if I say/do something out of line please tell me! but I love you guys and you're absolutely welcome here.

- proshippers (if this bothers you block and move on)

- furries. not personally one of y'all but I think you're neat :]

- literally, like, anyone, as long as you're not a dick

you are not welcome here:

- terfs, transphobes, exclusionists, anti-mspec, anti-lesboy, and people who think transandrophobia is "fake" or whatever. go away I don't like you (or at least be prepared to be blocked or yelled at)

- similarly to last, anyone who starts queer infighting or hates on less visible queers/strangers who don't "look" queer (I don't care if you think someone is cishet. you have no way of knowing that. let's stop hating people for immutable characteristics and start having thoughtful criticisms of people's actions thanks)

- ZIONISTS. BYE BYE

- (but also antisemites because come on now let's not do this. judiasm ≠ zionism)

- ableists, fatphobia, general dickheads. also if you're the kind of person who would tell me irl that I'm a failure for dropping out, I don't want you here!!! surprise!!!

- antis (again, either leave now or expect to be argued with)

other stuff under the cut bc this is already too long:

- I accept anonymous asks! and also non anonymous ones. ask me shit idk

- I am autistic and VERY gullible. if I reblog a "bait" post, or something that's clearly fake or a joke with a genuine reaction, I'm probably not playing some 5d irony chess I'm probably just stupid. y'all I'm sorry I'm trying :\

- I don't rb nsfw. not as, like, a rule, I just don't see the value in doing so lol. if I ever did I'd tag it and probably update this

- I argue with people!! I enjoy arguing with people!! usually it's in replies and not reblogs but still. if you are allergic to discourse maybe don't follow me? I also rb "discourse" posts, mostly transmasc support stuff, general solidarity stuff with the trans community or lgbt community as a whole, politics, current events, that kinda thing.

- this is, shockingly, supposed to be a fandom blog (I got carried away). current fandoms include: Ace Attorney (the one this blog was supposed to be about), Doctor Who (childhood hyperfixation come back to bite my ass), and Splatoon (no excuse). also MHA is basically my abusive boyfriend at this point but I'm trying to get better (not). you can find the records of my failing recovery at @alex-is-losing-sleep-over-krbk /hj (I also shamelessly rb my own posts over there lol)

and I guess since I'm mentioning fandoms, here my fav ships: wrightworth, klapollo, franmaya, thoschei, pearlina, agent 24. also somehow, completely inexplicably, cuttletavio. listen I read like one really good fic and I just think—

anyways, that's about it. love you all :]

[nonbinary-vents]

Hi! I'm being anonymous because I'm scared of the hate (isn't it funny?). But I wanted to say that I just found your blog, an as a NB left-zionist Jew in the diaspora, who thinks Palestine and Israel can be in peace and that everything happenings is wrong in so many levels, you blog makes me feel less alone. Sometimes it feels like all of this is w&b and I'm alone in a "this is more complex than that"

Idk. I'm happy I found you. For real. You help me. I hope you are having a great day/night!

This is such a sweet message, thanks anon! I completely get you on feeling alone, so many other people are so eager to be blatantly racist against Jews and Arabs, and then they turn around and call you a bad person if you dare try to call it out. I don’t talk about Islamophobia and anti-Arab racism on this blog because this is a space for me to personally talk about issues that affect me (same goes for any Muslim or Arab person, the time I expect people connected to the situation to be active in acknowledging both of us is if they’re actually trying to do activist work, not just… making posts on a tumblr blog). But I do see that the bigotry is there in so many places, both subtle and just unashamedly in your face. It’s absolutely beyond me that not wanting anybody to suffer and believing that no group is inherently evil is a controversial take nowadays. I’m glad I could make you feel a little less on your own, though

Also, hey, fellow nonbinary Jew! Before now, I had barely ever seen any other Jewish enben, and now I’ve gotten to interact with so many other cool people like me, it’s great

[neverwritewhatyouknow]

hi! i hope it's okay that i ask you this, i can imagine you must be really exhausted dealing with hate you don't deserve and it's not your responsibility to educate us. i was just wondering that wasn't the mention that nora was spending hannukah the only bit that talked of her religion? i know you've talked about being jewish/being a convert, but i'm still trying to understand this - like how can we know for sure cmq meant for her ethnicity to be jewish precisely? i'm not saying i think they meant for her to be from a family practising judaism but not jewish - bc i don't, i don't think cmq spent that much time thinking about it honestly - but techincally how can we be sure? (not saying that this would a good reason to not cast a jewish actress, obviously getting jewish rep would have been a better choice) but i was thinking - isn't this a bit like with pez's gender? i think cmq tweeted that they consider pez genderfluid/nonbinary/in some way gnc, but since she didn't explictly write that down, they can't claim having rep for that and ultimately it's up to the reader to decide for themselves. (i'm trans myself too) again, i don't think this is a "good enough" reason to not cast a jewish person and i'm disappointed at how they handled and continue to handle this, but i'm just trying to understand/see if my thinking makes sense, if you get what i mean? and if nora was explicitly stated to be jewish at some point/i missed somethin, i apologize!! thank you so much for continuing to educate people - and me - and i'm sorry about the mess of this ask!! thank you for taking the time to read and answer, and i do really hope you remember to take care of yourshelf too bc you deserve that!

I’m summarizing the question here so I don’t have to keep scrolling up:

1. How can we know Nora is ethnically Jewish? (The anon doesn’t think she’s from a non-Jewish family who practices Judaism. Doesn’t think CMQ thought about it a lot. Only Chanukkah was mentioned.)

I already know I’m going to get attacked for this answer, because people are going to have problems with some or all of it. I ask that if you start reading the answer, to finish reading the answer. I’m serious.

I’m going to say first that even the mention of Nora celebrating Hanukkah is enough to have a Jewish actor needed to play her, since that there and then shows that Nora is Jewish. Non-Jews don’t celebrate Hanukkah (don’t come in here with “evidence of non-Jews doing it, that’s appropriation and def not what CMQ was showing).

I went through the book today looking for stuff, it’s as vague as I remembered (the vagueness is something I will talk more about), but I did find some stuff that I think is important for your question.

Let’s start with the biggest thing that shows that Nora is Jewish. Hanukkah. A Jewish holiday. Even non-religious Jews tend to celebrate Hanukkah because… presents.

Nora goes home to celebrate with her parents (and we can assume grandparents, because they seem very close to her parents). Her parents Reilly and Rebecca. Now, a name obviously cannot and shouldn’t determine someone’s religion, but using her mom’s name of Rebecca added with everything else, we can form a bigger picture of Nora’s background. God, I feel like a theory YouTuber. The name Rebecca is common among Jews (obviously not only Jews), but if you look at her name, combined with Nora’s name (which HOLY FUCKING SHIT ⬅️ my actual reaction because I just realized I don’t need to finish answering this question. I remembered reading that CMQ had changed Nora’s name and…

I don’t have to defend Nora being Jewish or not anymore, because…

Casey already did. Everyone asking how to know if Nora is Jewish or not, Casey said it. Right there.

Anyway I was gonna say a whole bunch of other stuff about how you can tell Nora is Jewish in the book because of the way that Casey described something and why the vagueness actually made sense in a more meta way… (let me know if anyone still actually wants this)

If nobody wanted to believe me about Nora being Jewish, maybe you’ll believe Casey? The author of the book. Oh and for anyone who wants to fight back and say “well people don’t know about Casey saying this.” That’s not the point. The point isn’t this sentence, it’s the fact that she wrote Nora as Jewish. Nora is Jewish and Casey wrote her that way. Can people be mad about this now? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD This is the clearest answer. Thank you to the anon, I knew CMQ had mentioned this but forgot until now. Thought maybe I dreamed it. But nope. Right there.

[ezradogteeth]

do you have advice for chosing new names? I just dont like my name bc family stuff and ive never felt it suited me. But i dont know if any thing would :< thanks i hope youre having a goood *time of day* :]

congrats on working on choosing a new name!! ik it can be a stressful and weird process, but it's exciting nonetheless and i hope you find one that brings you joy! i don't have very much advice so these are just some of my thoughts and experiences :>

there are a lot of different methods to choosing a name. some people want to meticulously look through lists of names and choose one after methodical searching, others want it to come about more naturally, like being given a name by someone they love or encountering it unexpectedly, some people want a family-related or culturally relevant name, others want something disconnected from their past, etc.

it helps to consider what you value in a name, aside from it suiting you. i wanted my name to be short and phonetic because i grew up with a vowel-heavy name i had to repeat a lot for people to hear it right, and that always bothered me. i wanted a jewish name since i'm jewish and i wanted it to flow nicely with my middle and last name, which i kept (obvs you don't have to do that and choosing a new middle name could also be awesome!!).

i had already known the name "ezra" before i picked it to be my name, but i hadn't considered it could be my name because it's a male name, and i'm genderqueer and wanted a gender neutral name, but then i encountered the name in a context that made me realize you can have a "male" or "female" name and still be nonbinary. this seems obvious, but i was 14 at the time, so the discourse on gender presentation wasn't as evolved as it is now, seven years ago there was a LOT less conversation, information, and community around trans people, so i hadn't yet unlearned all my preconceived notions about gender presentation.

to that end, remember you don't have to limit yourself to any arbitrary standard for what your name Should be as far as lining up with your gender identity.

i would also say it's good to remove the pressure from this process as much as possible. it's ok for you to use multiple names, to change your name multiple times, to use a temporary name, or anything else you want. no one told me that when i was younger and so i had this intense pressure to find The Perfect Right Name Forever. but it doesn't have to be like that-- give yourself the freedom to try a new name with your close friends and see how it feels!

i think involving people you love and trust in the process is a good idea when possible, since a name is a largely external thing. it can help you brainstorm and see what you like. you can ask friends to write you a text about you written the third person, try it out in private, etc.

i'm currently going thru some Name Stuff rn too, with my close friends irl i'm using the name Ezra as well as my birthname, making my first name two words. two first names babey!! its fun to experiment with but i dread the public element of it all.

[supersanderman]

The Intro

Welcome reader. You have officially decided to join me on this journey into my mind and I want to first thank you and second off, I want to give you a warning, this isn’t always a happy carefree blog. I am going to share my personal journey of how I got to be where, and who I am today. Am I a rich success story? No. Am I an influencer or actor with thousands of followers? Not even a little. I am just a music-loving, D&D-playing demi-boy nerd who is trying (and many times failing) to love themself in a world that sometimes doesn’t give people enough love. I want to share my story so that maybe, people will be able to feel ok sharing their own. 

I am also probably going to ruin your favorite fandoms… no scratch that… I am going to make you think a little deeper about your favorite fandoms. You probably know the issues with Harry Potter and Star Wars and D&D already but I want to look at them once again, and see how we can appreciate them, despite their sometimes very obvious flaws.

But that comes later. Now back to my story. I’m trying not to be self-centered. Because my story isn’t that important. It’s just another story. But it’s my story, and I hope that is enough to make it valid to share. Let’s start at the beginning. I came from a small prominently white, prominently conservative town in the middle of nowhere New Jersey, Long Valley. It was quaint, quiet, and safe, like any other small white town in America. And like any small white town in America, it was a bubble, one that kept you on the inside, really preventing you from questioning your identity, and why would you? In my time in Long Valley: I was one of around 10 or so Jewish People, and I knew probably less than 20 people of color. In addition to that I knew one transgender person, who consistently was ridiculed and called their deadname, and I knew no one who was non binary, nor anyone at the time who was openly gay or lesbian. Hell, I didn’t even know the term nonbinary existed until I came to Rutgers. Eventually, I would come to learn that many of my closest friends from highschool were all “in the closet” during high school,  just a byproduct of living in a place with virtually zero diversity. It makes sense now that they were the ones I was drawn to. 

Rutgers meanwhile was a breath of fresh air for me, a place where I learned that people could actually express themselves and be unapologetically themselves. In Long Valley, sure I was myself, but I was myself blissfully unaware, and Rutgers became sort of a culture shock for me.I joined Marching Band, Choir, Creative Writing Club, all with the goal of continuing my passions. And as time progressed and I became more acclimated, I began to question who I was, especially when I came face to face with a former friend and their ex, who happened to be a former roommate of mine. Once a gay couple, they would always be in my room, and would always try and tear away at my identity, questioning why I was straight and if I liked being straight. I would be asked to rate the “hotness” of celebrities, and would be asked why I just “can’t be gay?” Long Valley me, was very uncomfortable. Identity should not be forced, and discovery should be a self guided process, not one that is made through invasive questioning. I remember one night, it got to a point where I left the room and would block their calls for the night as they just kept prodding and probing and asking why I “liked girls and not guys.” Now both of them are distant memories, and knowing what I know about myself now, it doesn’t really hurt as much, but it is still something that I look back on, as a reminder to always go at my pace. 

I made it most of the year still remaining cisgender and heterosexual and then shit hit the fan, as a global pandemic destroyed everyone’s way of life. There’s something about being trapped at home for weeks on end that makes you question everything about yourself. Maybe it was just the desire to escape, maybe it was wanting a fresh start as it felt like everyone else was starting over, but I just kept thinking. Thinking about who I was as a person, and I think that drove my desire to keep questioning. While it wouldn’t be until the summer of 2021 that I would actually really change my identity, I think the pandemic year was a sort of stepping stone into questioning and taking steps. I restarted therapy, realized who of my high school friends I actually cared about enough to stay in contact with, and overall wanted to try and grow in some way. It sounds cheesy but it was a goal of mine, because I learned so much about myself after being trapped and isolated for so long.

 I also joined a professional fraternity, Phi Sigma Pi in the Spring of 2021 where I met my big who is now one of my closest friends, Mox. They have been instrumental in my journey of self-discovery and identity, and have taught me so much about a world I had no window into. They validated my identity when others didn’t, and it was refreshing. In fact, they have started to use "they" to refer to me, and it is the most validating thing. To finally be in control of my identity for once is, in a word, wonderful. But the way I got there was a twisted path of confusion, anger, and fear. I hope you stick around to read the rest in upcoming posts! Oh, and yes, I still plan on ruining your favorite fandoms ;)

[happy365]

yesterday was very up and down. Found out at work no one else was signed up to bring protein to brunch. Which was sad but meant I didn't have to try to deal with cooking, transportation, and reheating of bacon. Decided to bring mini chocolate chips and go see my bffl buttercup because her family has extra orange juice from her parents tree.

My coworkers decided not to do Valentines though i brought my extras in case someone wanted one which was good because a coworker made individually bagged cookies with a Valentine stapled to the bag, so at least I had something to give her back.

I go to see buttercup and she answered her door wearing a platform 9 3/4 shirt. Made me sad and put a pall over the visit. She isn't very online but I know we have talked about JKR though I don't remember if we talked about her on our last road trip , the last time I remember was in August 2019 when it was some liking of bad tweets and we talked about trans and nonbinary issues.

I met Buttercup in August 1990. I was the person who got her into Harry potter though she never did fandom. All I could think was "I hope you weren't wearing that shirt for your zoom class and if you were that none of your queer or Jewish students saw it.

Saw my mom and the cats for a bit, spike is doing so well and I was able to give him eyedrops without issues.

Got home and opened the Christmas present she gave me (late presents are a reoccurring theme and inside joke) to find another platform 9 3/4 shirt.

I was mostly done crying by the time d&d started. It was an amazing session and I got through my first combat experience and got some secret knowledge that drove the rest of my party nuts it was great and massively cheered me up.

Knotta was playing Minecraft by the time i got there so I only stopped for a quick hi.

[nightcoremoon]

I’m not hurt or sad because of things people say to me.

I am furious that you don’t love people as much as I do.

I do the barest fucking minimum of civility and respect and you can’t even do that. it takes 0 effort to do what I do and you don’t even do that. you go out of your way to do the opposite. if you spent half as much effort being a hateful fucking bitch on supporting your fellow man and woman and everyone in between nonbinary intersex or otherwise, maybe we would have healthier stronger and better communities online. I’d have a better time online if you weren’t such a toxic insufferable fucking prick. you step on my happiness by being a dickhead. you are lazy, discompassionate, and I’d go so far as to say that you are actively evil. IT WOULDN’T EVEN TAKE THAT MUCH WORK TO NOT BE A BIGOTED ASSHOLE. it’s so fucking easy to just open your mind to ideas not drilled into your head by society if you ever had one single thing you ever had to struggle through and weren’t privileged enough to be handed circumstances that help you through hard times every single time something inconvenient ever happened to you.

instead you spend your free time, which those of us who actually have to work at surviving from day to day, being a dark cloud raining on peoples parades because you don’t have to work for your happiness. you support a system that exterminates those who are different but because you don’t happen to be that exact demographic at this exact point in history, you’re okay with it. you’re a mason but the soapbox nazi hasn’t called to kill all of the masons yet, so you’re subservient. you’re complacent. you whine and cry and bitch and moan for your rights but when it’s anyone else you don’t give a single shit. you’re susan b anthony saying votes for white women.

you’re a bad person.

you should perform a shotgun lobotomy for the good of our society. you should make some toast in the bathtub. you should paint the sidewalk beneath a skyscraper with your blood. you should make a cocktail of codeine and whiskey. you should go hug a hungry wild grizzly bear. you should bathe in milk and honey and then swim in a colony of fire ants. you should go to brazil. ending your selfish horrid blighted existence is an improvement to millions of lives. I do not feel bad for hurting you in such a way, being so bluntly honest, because all of the things that I’m being mean to you for are things you’ve chosen.

you chose through your actions to be the person I wish death upon. when jewish holocaust survivors wanted to see justice carried out by executing nazi officials after the nuremberg trials, it did not make them bloodthirsty murderers. when escaped slaves joined the union army to fight the confederates during the civil war, it did not mean they were violent monsters. when ukrainians use makeshift explosions to fight back against the russian aggressors, it does not make them evil. when queers piss on ronald reagan’s grave because we can’t punch him in the face now that the motherfucker is dead, we are not subhuman filth. if a palestinian father gets his revenge on an israeli who killed his daughter, he is well within his rights to kill that guy. if a woman stabs her would-be rapist with the very knife he used to threaten her with, she is not culpable for the crime. you are lucky that I’m not next to you with a crowbar or baseball bat, and all I’m doing here is typing out strings of letters that you’ve discerned into a meaning that hurts your feefees. I am well within my rights, justified to say these things to you. and nobody can make me feel bad for saying this. I am not nearly as bad a person for this as you are for your actions.

I hope that if your life does not end relatively soon, that it is as full of as much suffering and misery as you deserve. I hope that the regrets will crush you on your deathbed. I wish every single plague the world can deliver upon you. I hope your restless conscience refuses to offer you even a moment of peace, as you struggle to find meaning in that empty shell you call a life. if you don’t change into a good person I hope that your life ends before you hurt a single other being.

either that or you can stop being a bigoted cunt. pick 1.

[dirk-has-rabies]

Gender variance and it's link with neurodivergency

Okay so this is it going to be another long one

All quotes will be sourced with a link to the scientific journal I took it from

Okay Tumblr, let's talk gender (I know, your favorite topic) my preface on why this topic matters to me is: I'm autistic ( diagnosed moderate to severe autism) I'm nonbinary trans ( in a way that most non-autistic people don't understand and actually look down on)  and I went to college for gender study ( Mostly for intersex studies but a lot of my research was around non-binary and trans identities) I will be using the term autism as pants when I have experience with however when ADHD is part of the study I will use ND which stands for neurodivergent and yes this is going to be about xenogenders and neopronouns.

autism can affect gender the same way autism can affect literally every part of an identity. a big thing about having autism is the fact that it completely can change how you view personhood and time and object permanence and gender and literally all types of socially constructed ideas. let me also say hear that just because Society creates and enforces an idea does it mean that it doesn't exist to all people it just me that there is no nature law saying that it's real and the “rules” for these ideas can change and delete and create as time and Society evolves and changes.  gender is one of those constructs.

Now I'll take it by you reading this you know what transgender people are  (if you don't understand what a trans person is send me an ask and I'll type you up a pretty little essay lmao,  or Google it but that's a scary thought sense literally any Source or website can come up on Google including biased websites so be careful I guess LOL) anyway to be super basic trans people are anyone who doesn't identify as the gender they were assigned at Birth (yes that includes non-binary people I could do a whole nother essay about that shit how y'all keep spreading trying to separate non-binary people from the trans umbrella)  some people don't like to use the label and that is totally fine by the way.

now autistic people to view the world in a way differently than allistic (neurotypical) ppl do.  we don't take everything people teach us at 100% fact and we tend to question everything and demand proof and evidence for things before we can set it as a fact in our brains. This leads to why a lot of autistic people are atheist (although a lot of religions and this is not bashing on religious people at all I am actually a Jewish convert)  this questioning leads to a lot of social constructs being ignored or not understood At All by a lot of autistic people and personally I think that's a good thing.  allistics take everything their parents and teachers and schools teach them as fact until someone else says something and then they pick which ones to believe. autistic people study and research and learn about a topic before forming an opinion and while this may lead to them studying and believing very biased material and spitting it out as fact it can also lead them to try and Discover it is real by themselves.

because of this autistic people are more question their gender or not fall in a binary way at all as the concept of gender makes no sense to a lot of us. “ if gender is a construct then autistic people who are less aware of social norms are less likely to develop a typical gender identity”

no really look: “ children and teens with autism spectrum disorder ASD or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder ADHD  are much more likely to express a wish to be the opposite sex compared with their typical developing peers” That was posted in 2014. we have been saying this stuff forever but no one wants to listen. the thing is gender variance (being not cisgender or at least questioning it)  has always been closely hand-in-hand with autistic and ADHD people I'm even the doctor who did that study understood right away that it all made sense the whole time: “ Dr. Strang said they were initially surprised to find an overrepresentation of gender variance among children with ADHD. However, they later realized that prior studies have shown increased levels of disruptive behavior and other behavioral problems among young people with gender variance”  SEE YOURE NOT WEIRD YOURE JUST YOU AND YOURE NOT ALONE IN THIS!!

5% autistic people who did the study were trans or questioning. it was also equal between the Sexes fun fact. that may not seem like a lot till you realize that the national average is only .7% that's literally over 700% higher than the national average. That's so many! and that's just in America.

 in Holland there was a study in 2010 “ nearly 8% of the more than 200 Children and adolescents referred to a clinic for gender dysphoria also came up positive on a assessment for ASD” they weren't even testing for ADHD so the numbers could be even higher!

now I want to talk about a  certain section of the trans umbrella that a lot of autistic people fall under called the non-binary umbrella. non-binary means anything that isn't just male or just female. it is not one third gender and non-binary doesn't mean that you don't have a gender. just clearing that up since cis people keep spreading that. non-binary is an umbrella term for any of the infinite genders you could use or create. now this is where I'm going to lose a bunch of you and that's okay because you don't have to understand our brains or emotions To respect us as real people. not many allistics can understand how we see and think and relate to things and that's okay you don't have to understand everything but just reading about this could be so much closer to respecting us for Who We Are from you've ever been and that's better than being against us just for existing.

now you might have heard of my Mutual Lars who was harassed  by transmeds for using the term Autigender (I was going to link them but if it gets traction I don't want them to get any hate)  since a lot of people roll their eyes at that  and treated them disgustingly for using a term that 100% applied correctly.  Autigender  is described as " a neurogender which can only be understood in the context of being autistic or when one's autism greatly affects one's gender or how one experiences gender. Autigender is not autism as a gender, but rather is a gender that is so heavily influenced by autism that one's autism and one's experience of gender cannot be unlinked.” Now tell me that doesn't sound a lot like this entire essay I've been working on with full sources…..

xenogenders and neopronouns are a big argument point on whether or not people “believe” in non binary genders but a big part of those genders is that they originated from ND communities and are ways that we can try to describe what gender means us in a way that cis or even allistic trans people just can't comprehend or ever understand. Same with MOGAI genders or sexualities. A lot of these are created as a way to somehow describe an indescribable relationship with gender that is so personal you really cant explain it to anyone who isnt literally the same as you.

Even in studies done with trans autistic people a large amount of them dont even fall on a yes or no of having a gender at all and fall in some weird inbetween where you KINDA have a gender but its not a gender in the sense that others say it is but its also too much of a gender so say youre agender. And this is the kind of stuff that confuses allistic trans people and makes them think nonbinary genders are making stuff up for attention, which isnt true at all we just cant explain what it feels like to BE a trans autistic person to anyone who doesnt ALREADY know how it feels.

In this study out of the ppl questioned almost HALF of the autistic trans individuals had a “Sense of identity revolving around interests” meaning their gender and identity was more based off what they liked rather than boy or girl. That makes ppl with stuff like vampgender or pupgender make a lot more sense now doesnt it? We see that even in the study: “My sense of identity is fluid, just as my sense of gender is fluid […] The only constant identity that runs through my life as a thread is ‘dancer.’ This is more important to me than gender, name or any other identifying features… even more important than mother. I wouldn't admit that in the NT world as when I have, I have been corrected (after all Mother is supposed to be my primary identification, right?!) but I feel that I can admit that here. (Taylor)” and an agreement from another saying “Mine is Artist. Thank you, Taylor. (Jessie)” now dont you think if they grew up with terms like artistgender or dancergender they would just YOINK those up right away????

In fact “An absence of a sense of gender or being unsure of how their gender should “feel” was another common report” because as ive said before in this post AUTISTIC PEOPLE DONT SEE GENDER THE WAY ALLISTIC PEOPLE SEE IT. therefore we wont use the same terms or have the same identities nor could we explain it to anyone who doesnt already understand or question the same way! Participants even offered up quotes such as “As a child and even now, I don't ‘feel’ like a gender, I feel like myself and for the most part I am constantly trying to figure out what that means for me (Betty)” and also “I don't feel like a particular gender I'm not even sure what a gender should feel like (Helen)”

Now i know this isnt going to change everyones minds on this stuff but i can only hope that it at least helped people feel like theyre not broken and not alone in their feelings about this. You dont have to follow allistic rules. You dont have to stop searching inside for who you really wanna be. And you dont have to pick or choose terms forever because just as you grow and evolve so may your terms. Its okay to not know what or who you are and its okay to identify as nonhuman things or as your interests because what you love and what you do is a big part of who you are and shapes you everyday. Its not a bad thing! Just please everyone, treat ppl with respect and if you dont understand something that doesnt make it bad or wrong it just means its not for you. And thats okay.

[hufflautia]

Are you in love with me?

This can’t be happening, Slytherin thinks as he approaches her slowly. I shouldn’t have run out of the room. He can talk to other girls if he wants to, it doesn’t matter to me. 

Her anger dissolves into something else. It is another feeling—one that she’s afraid to address. 

A thought breaks free from the confines of her stubborn heart. 

But it does.  

Hufflepuff lifts his hand to caress her cheek, effectively making her mind go blank. 

“Are you in love with me,” he asks softly.  

Slytherin swallows with difficulty, her heart pounding. He’s so close she can make out the tiny speckles in his earthy brown irises. “No.” 

There’s a moment in which they stand there in silence, and the universe holds its breath. It exhales when Hufflepuff leans in and kisses her so sweetly that she is left dazed after they pull apart. She doesn’t remember tangling her fingers into his hair nor can she recall the moment he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her impossibly closer as their lips moved in unison. 

His gaze lingers on her parted lips. 

“Are you in love with me now?”  

Slytherin lets out a small laugh, and he revels in the warmth of her breath brushing against his skin.  

“Not yet,” she murmurs, her cheeks kissed with a tint of rosy pink. “Ask me again tomorrow.”   

A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. “I’ll put it at the top of my to-do list.” 

She hums happily. “And you?” she muses. “Are you in love with me?”  

“I’ll have to think about it.” He gives her a grin, one so warm and utterly Hufflepuff-like that she feels as though she will melt in his arms. “I suppose you’ll have to ask me again tomorrow. Until then, I’m gonna kiss you.”

Hufflepuff smirks when she raises her eyebrows, slightly taken aback by his bluntness. 

“You know,” he tilts her chin up, “for decision-making purposes.” 

Her heartbeat quickens. 

Fin. 

~

MASTERLIST (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง << Sometimes you can’t see the embedded link because tumblr is built different. If it doesn’t work, go to my main page; the masterlist is pinned.

This ficlet is inspired by Chapter Three of Happy Birthday by Ohhhmyloki. 

Author’s note: This may be the most spontaneous thing I’ve ever written. Hope you enjoyed! Comments and reblogs are appreciated. 

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[transmasc-wizard]

Hey just FYI. For the JKR post. She’d actually have to negotiate for rights to the movies. If I remember correctly she may have had rights for one. But you can still stream the movies. 😊

1) I assume you mean well with this ask, but i have less than zero interest in watching the movies. The HP movies are full of sexism, antisemitism, racism, and some transphobia, and the FB movies contain racism and antisemitism. Just because FB's bigotry doesn't hurt me does not mean I'm going to endorse them. This ask is phrased in a "look, you can still stream this! yay!" way, which tells me you assume I'm sadly dropping HP and looking for an excuse to keep interacting, instead of dropping it angrily and without regret.

2) to stream the movies tells the companies involved that you want to see more of this content. Yes, one person doesn't make a difference. But if everybody thinks "oh, I'm just one person", then it will very quickly become many people.

3) I as a trans person am extremely uncomfortable with the huge push to work around her bigotry and keep HP alive. The series is packed with her bigotry, and it's discomfiting to see the amount of people that are more focused on finding ways to continue interacting ("just pirate it!" "oh, she doesn't get money for this!" "make your own merch!") than they are on uplifting trans people, Jewish people, and POC. There are other series, there are better series, and I hate to think of how much energy is being wasted trying to keep this fandom alive.

4) If you would like some diverse YA fantasy books to replace Harry Potter, I have a list here. Unfortunately there are no Jewish authors on the list, but I'm looking around to find some to add.

5) If you would like a TV show that has Harry Potter vibes, I suggest the Owl House. It has a Dominican-American bisexual protagonist, a lesbian LI, and a nonbinary side character. It involves witches, cool magic, weird worlds, fun shenanigans, and engaging plotlines. (It is a show geared at kids/teens, but... so is HP.) I stopped watching in season 1 (because I stopped watching TV in general for awhile), but afaik it has 2 seasons.

6) Thank you for engaging with the post and this ask in a polite way; I hope you continue to do so.

[averykedavra]

feels like a good night to support trans people, so:

we support trans women, trans men, nonbinary people who identify as such, intersex people who identify as such!! trans lesbians, trans bisexuals, trans pansexuals, trans asexuals, trans aromantics!

we support trans people who have transitioned, trans people who haven’t, trans people who aren’t planning to transition! trans people who aren’t out and trans people who are!

we support trans people with no dysphoria! trans people with a lot of dysphoria! trans people who are still figuring out their identity, trans people who are questioning, and trans people who have known for a long time!

we support trans people who use neopronouns!! trans people who use it/its!! trans people who use multiple pronouns!! trans people who use she/her without being a girl, he/him without being a boy, or don’t use any pronouns at all!

we support mentally ill trans people!! autistic trans people!! trans POC!! black trans people!! disabled trans people!! jewish trans people!! muslim trans people!! elderly trans people!! fat trans people!! trans people who don’t pass and don’t want to!!

on this blog, we support all trans people. you are brave, you are valid, and you deserve to live your life to the fullest. i hope every trans person who sees this has a great day, and that they know they’re incredible <3

[hachama]

Hello goyim person here! I like to see your trans and nonbinary friendly Jewish quotes a lot :) But I just wondered if it is alright when I do this!? Since I'm like probably not the 'target audience'?

Do you think it's ok for non Jewish queer people to feel validation and empowerment from them?

Anyway hope you have a good day!

First, a grammar quibble: "goyim" is a plural noun. Goy is the singular. Goyish or goyische are the adjective forms. The English equivalent is gentile, which (because English) is a much more flexible word in a sentence.

Second, your actual question: there is absolutely nothing wrong with goyim enjoying my posts or feeling validated by the Jewish trans acceptance content I share. I'm glad it makes you happy. Trans folks face so much exclusion and prejudice, it's totally understandable to be happy that any group is welcoming. That a group you may not have realized would support you does, and for multiple reasons? Sure, that's going to feel cozy. It means that's a corner of human society that isn't hostile, when so many other places can be.

When I share things that are intended to be intra-Jewish conversations, I always tag accordingly. And even in those circumstances, all I ask my goyische followers is that they not reblog or comment.

[jewishcharliebradbury]

This is not necessarily a question. I just wanted a kind person to rant to. Today was a huge day for me because i I had to deliver a sermon in my church. I very recently realised that i was bisexual and that is in a huge part because of the desticule and Misha. Very naturally i started having doubts about my religion and being asked to deliver a sermon was super challenging because i don’t support so many christian rituals, but at the same time has great faith in a loving god. I wanted all of this to come across and also ask everyone not to hold prejudices against anyone, queer or disabled or anyone that Christians normally exclude(my country is extremely conservative and saying just one sentence about asking parents not to atleast kick queer children out of their homes was incredibly nerve-wracking). All in all, today was already stressful and then to see the horrible erasure of Cas’ identity and his gaaay love first thing in the morning was ughhbbbb... I’m so angry at jensen. I genuinely don’t care abt him, just think dean is adorable and nuanced, and that is because of him. But I’m not angry abt whatever he said abt Cas, I believe he thinks it’s incredibly romantic, just doesn’t want to say it like that. But whoo boy, the sexist comment was so shiity. There was absolutely no need for it but he had to ruin nonbinary jack, didn’t he. I know everyone is saying that what he said was spur of the moment and therefore can’t hold him accountable, but that just means the unedited version of jensen is just misogynistic at heart. It was just horrible, i know I’ll get over it, but I thought he thought of jack as his son. That’s not true apparently. Also fuckkk j*red. Who gave him the right? Why do we have to fight so much for basic fan rights? I hate this hopeless feeling i get when people are horrible like this. This is who they are at their very core, and i can do nothing to change it, they have to make the effort, which they won’t. Also I think you’re verryyy cool and hot.

congrats on both your sermon and figuring yourself out a little bit better (same thing happened to me recently!), this might be weird to say to an anon based off one message but i'm really proud of you. i'm jewish so can't really speak on christian stuff with much authority, but i strongly believe that it's possible to be queer and religious at the same time, and to be able to find comfort in both.

i'm sorry your day was ruined by the con, and i completely agree with you about the jack thing it was gross and regardless of his actual intention or meaning he SHOULD be held accountable until he addresses it. also as as always fuuuuuck jared this was a new low even for him. but regardless of what any actors or other people involved in making the show might say (negative or positive) at this point we've become a self sustaining ecosystem and imo despite the many many lows of the past 11 months the positives outweigh, or at least start to makeup for, them. this stuff hurts, it always hurts, but we truly don't need outside validation of our views on the show OR on ourselves.

idk if this is helpful or coherent at all but i hope you see this! congrats again (oh and re that last bit…thanks lmao)

[urmomsstuntdouble]

ooh, care to share your thoughts on some characters you like but don’t talk about ?

thanks for the ask! and yes i would care to share some of those thoughts

one character i really like is poland, but i dont like the way theyre treated a lot in canon or in fanon (also i hc them as using they/them pronouns). i think it would be easier for me to interact with poland the character if there was less..weirdness around them being so overtly queer, if that makes sense? i know a popular headcanon for poland is that they’re a trans man, but i actually dont really vibe with that. i mean have your headcanons if you want, you do you, but something about trans man poland makes me a bit uncomfy..like you take a guy who crossdresses and is generally super fem and campy and say ah yes he’s trans..idk its got weird vibes. like he’s a man but he’s not like the other men, who don’t crossdress and don’t talk like valley girls and all that. thats not to say i dont think poland is like cishet or whatever (nobody’s cishet on this blog ;)) theres just something about the fandom portrayal of them that irks me a lil. i also find them a bit of a difficult character because everyone seems to love the angst about like. points in time when poland didnt exist (russian empire days) and they’re portrayed as being so different than they were previously. i also think that poland as a character is one of the more contradictory ones (partially due to my own perception of poles, which is largely predicated on a certain type of immigrant grandmother), because they really are trying to be positive but shits hard when you’re a queer jew and the year is 1600- speaking of them being jewish, i do have a historical reason for that, and it’s the theory that jews had a big role in saving poland during the black plague. basically there were a lot of orthodox jews, and its a thing for orthodox jews to have 2+ sinks in their houses. iirc cleanliness is super important. anyway, there were a lot of orthodox jews in eastern europe at the time, much of which was controlled by the polish-lithuanian commonwealth, and that also happens to be one of the areas least affected by the plague. a ton of christians still died, although it was considerably less than in other areas. anyway i also have that hc because of the warsaw ghetto uprising in 1943, and because poland was one of the first countries hitler invaded. though poland today is v catholic (and it always was very catholic) it has a strong presence and one could say that poland is the cultural center of ashkenazi judaism. of course, during the russian empire and the holocaust, many polish jews were murdered or driven out, so there aren’t quite as many there today, but in the past, poland was something of a haven for jewish people in europe. anyway that was a tangent. but yeah, poland. theyre a very good character but i feel like they get misinterpreted a lot. i think they’re quite similar to italy veneziano in that way, because poland is definitely a very traumatized country- all the partitions, for one, and then the pat 2-300 years would have been very rough for someone who’s jewish. anyway i have more thoughts but ive distracted myself with the judaism thing, so yeah. 

i also really like sweden, although i don’t know enough about them (sigh. my nonbinary headcanons. he/they sweden.) to do a real in depth historical analysis of their character. i think an underused piece of comedy about him is that sweden has been neutral in all military conflicts for the past 200 or so years (on paper. they were involved in the congo crisis in the 1960s and have recently stationed more troops in foregin countries). like..sweden used to be a powerhouse in northern europe and now he’s just. trying to be a dad or something idk. anyway my interest in sweden’s character is relatively new, so i would have to go seek out more sweden content, but i think they’re generally super interesting and im a bit sad to see their potential wasted by being like. finland’s husband/sealand’s dad. dont get me wrong i love some good sufin content but there’s more to his character than that he’s in love with finland. 

i also think china’s pretty neat just because i love dads, and i also think he’s gorgeous. long haired men are hot, what can i say? i like him being a crotchety old man who’s a bit out of touch with the Youths tm, although i think he would be too powerful if he learned some modern slang and then decided to misuse it around his kids. i also want to look deeper into the fandom interpretation of his relationship with hong kong and taiwan, mostly because i havent before. there’s also this chinese restaurant that no longer exists that has been described as making the food so spicy that whatever went into the wok next would still be hot enough to make you cry. i feel like that’s a very yao thing to do- like come on, it’s not that spicy- meanwhile, he’s had thousands of years to develop an iron spice tolerance and something that’s spicy enough for him might kill a regular human. perhaps thats hyperbolic, perhaps not, idk. anyway i also do think that he’s the most human out of all the nations, just because he’s been alive so long. i might just be incredibly fascinated with immortality, idk. i think its fascinating the toll that would take on a person, mentally speaking. like all the nations are weird but china must be super weird. anyway i feel like my fascination with how old he is might be a lil weird, but also one of my favorite doctor who characters is ashildr, so i digress. anyway this post is getting super long so i think im gonna cut it off here. hope that was snazzy!