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satendou · 4 years

Text

⟼ roundabout

next: full circle | ½

・‥…━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

⇢ pairing: osamu/reader

⇢ au: aged up!au

⇢ summary: osamu leaves you and learns the hard way how much you meant to him

⇥ masterlist

⇢ warnings: angst, breakups, cheating

⇢ word count: 5794

・‥…━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

⇢ a/n: :)

“You’re telling me,” you said, leaning back against the counter as you stared at Osamu, “that you’re breaking up with me so you can get back with your ex? That’s the gist of this right?”

He looked off to the side, crossing his arms in front of him before nodding. Coward.

From the outside, anyone would think this was just another casual conversation. Dinner simmered on the stove beside you, the smell soured in the wake of his words.

“Look, ’m sorry. I didn’t mean--” he started, still inspecting the floor as if he were expecting it to offer support as he broke your heart, but you snorted, stopping him.

“You know, I don’t really think I wanna hear this. I mean, you didn’t mean to hurt me? Is that it? Miya, you can’t break up with someone for your fucking ex and expect it not to hurt,” you said, and the amusement in your voice shook him.

His usually lazy brown eyes were wide as he watched you turn your back to him, stirring the food before it burnt. You weren’t reacting the way he had thought you would, but then he supposed he hadn’t known what to expect when he came in planning to break up with you. He was ashamed to admit a part of him had hoped for tears, with you begging him to stay. Annoying him would have made it made it so much easier to walk out the door.

But your quiet acceptance was a blow he hadn’t prepared for, and it made him feel even scummier for doing it to you.

And he deserved that.

“You can get your stuff out, if you’re ready,” you said, turning the burner off. Covering it with a lid, you moved the pan off the coils and pulled out your phone, checking the time. Your best friend should have been home by then, and you texted her to tell her that you would be coming by. “I’ll leave for a while. I don’t wanna see you when I get home, so make sure you’re gone.”

The tightness in your chest increased as you slid your shoes on. It had only been thirty minutes since you got home and now you were leaving again. You refused to cry in front of him-- he didn’t deserve that from you.

There was a petty voice inside of him, itching to pick a fight as you gathered up your wallet and keys, hand on the doorknob before turning back to him. His chest felt like it was on fire, hands balled into fists at his side as he stood in the living room watching you. The way you acted so callously made him wonder if you even cared.

“You can leave your key on the table,” you said, gesturing vaguely towards the coffee table.

And then you were turning the doorknob and Osamu took a step forward, heart hammering as a question tumbled out of his mouth. It wasn’t a fair question and it was selfish, he knew that, but your coldness was killing him and he had to know.

“You don’t seem to care, _____. Did you even love me?”

Your laugh was cold and empty and the tears stung your eyes against your will, and when you turned back to look at him he finally saw the agony in your eyes.

“Of course I did. Did you?”

And just like that the door closed on him, on you, and on your relationship.

You hadn’t heard from him since that, so why was his name lighting up the notifications on your phone? You pondered that question as you stirred your coffee, trying to ignore the sting of hope in your chest as you read his text. It was...strange, like he was dancing around something under the pretense of being polite.

‘Hey, I know you probably don’t wanna hear from me but Atsumu mentioned you got that promotion at work, so I just wanted to congratulate you. I know how hard you worked for it.’

It was stiff and polite, all proper grammar and punctuation, so unlike how he usually was-- or rather-- how he used to text you. You quirked a brow, wondering what he would care for anyway.

Screenshotting it, you sent it to Atsumu and to your best friend, both with a thinking emoji.

Atsumu responded with a shrug, but you knew he knew more than he was letting on. He was clearly trying to keep something from you, but you ignored the urge to pester him about it. You were still trying to heal from the breakup and getting involved in Osamu’s business would do nothing to help.

Miyu, on the other hand, sent several unfriendly emojis and a particularly violent meme, asking what the hell his problem was, and you smiled. Turning back to the window, you set your phone down on the table and sipped your drink, enjoying the cloudless summer day.

Osamu looked at his phone for the umpteenth time as he sat across from Kana, who was buried in her own phone while she giggled, before locking it and setting it down on the table. He turned to watch the people bustle up and down the street, trying to ignore the dashed hope sitting like a rock in his gut.

The next text came a few days later while you were lounging in the tub, waiting for Miyu and your other friend Hanaka to show up for a girl’s night. They had been a source of immeasurable comfort over the last few months and you were beyond grateful.

Your phone dinged and you picked it up, expecting to see an arrival text, but once again Osamu’s name flashed, causing you to frown.

It was an apology text this time, for his previous text, and you opened it to read it in full.

‘Hey, I’m sorry about the other day. I don’t know why I thought it would be a good idea to message you. I’m the last person you want to hear from, and I know that, but you deserved that promotion. I hope you have a good night.’

Same stiff and formal text, and you pursed your lips before locking it again. You really should have just blocked his number but, even as your finger hovered over the button, you couldn’t bring yourself too. The irrational part of your brain liked that he was still thinking about you and the petty part just liked leaving him on read.

Later, when you were out of the tub and Hana was in the middle of painting your toenails, you brought it up, showing them the message.

“Trouble in paradise?” Hanaka snickered, carefully laying a french tip across your toe.

Miyu, on the other hand, snorted, glaring at the text on your screen. “Serves him right. We all knew Kana was a terrible person. I bet she’s cheating on him now and that’s why he’s texting you again.”

That thought made you frown, and Hana spoke up as she set your foot down on the floor again. “It isn’t your fault, _____. He made his decision, he has to live with it. I guess you should just consider yourself lucky that he broke it off with you before he did anything with her. I’ll give him credit for that.”

Miyu blew on her nails, her tone softer as she said, “Yeah, but he’s still an idiot. But I know that look, _____. You should be careful. Is he gonna run back to you and then leave you again the minute Kana begs him to come back?”

You had been hovering over the keyboard in his messages, considering a reply, but her words struck a chord in you and instead you locked your phone, muting it and putting the messages-- and Osamu-- out of your mind for the rest of the night.

Osamu sighed as he watched Kana getting ready to go out. She wandered around the bedroom in a sequined dress and heels, her hair done up and makeup applied, just hunting for her wallet.

She let out a triumphant noise when she located it and turned to look at Osamu, giving him a coy smile. “Bye, ‘Samu. Love you, don’t wait up.”

He hadn’t been invited out that night, and he checked his phone again, discovering a text from Atsumu inviting him to dinner with the Jackals, and he grabbed his jacket with a sigh.

You had left him on read again that night.

At work a few weeks later, you received a text from Atsumu, asking if you had decided if you were going to go to a party they were throwing in celebration of several people getting signed onto the national volleyball team. It was that weekend and you had yet to decide, knowing that Osamu and Kana were going to be there.

Hana peered over your shoulder at the text and hummed. “I...kinda think you should go. You shouldn’t distance yourself from the rest of them because of him. They’re your friends too.”

She was right. Of course she was right. They had been supportive of you after the breakup as well, with Sakusa even texting you-- because Atsumu and Bokuto told him to, of course-- that he didn’t want you to “leave the friend group” because of Osamu.

You sucked your lip between your teeth, nibbling the skin as you thought about it. As if you hadn’t been doing that for days anyway, mulling over the pros and cons of going but never reaching a solid decision. Ultimately, you locked your phone after telling him you would have a decision by the end of the night. It was the best you could do, and Hana returned to her own desk shortly after that.

You were in the middle of eating dinner when you received your third text from Osamu and read it with a mouthful of noodles.

‘You shouldn’t distance yourself from the others because of me. I won’t bother you, so tell Atsumu yes. He’s driving me insane.’

You couldn’t help but snicker at that, knowing Atsumu was still pissed about what happened between the two of you. He had called you not long after Osamu told him what he had done, going on a tirade about how his brother was a piece of trash and he was there if you needed to talk.

He could hear that you had been crying and his heart went out to you, but you had told him you needed to go. It had been a while before you looked at him without flinching or hanging up the phone after only a minute, and you had apologized profusely for it. But he understood-- one of the troubles with being a twin was when one was a bastard, the other got in trouble for it too.

You hadn’t held it against them when they forgave Osamu, though Atsumu assured you it was only after cold-shouldering him for a month to let him know they were not happy. None of them ever liked Kana, and had even thanked you when you seemed to revive Osamu after she left him the first time.

None of them could have guessed he would pull something like that on you, though.

Your fingers hovered over your keyboard before you finally replied with a simple thanks.

Osamu’s phone lit up and he glanced at it, his hands occupied with molding rice balls, and he almost dropped it back into the bowl when he actually saw your name on his phone.

It was only one word, but something in him eased when he saw it.

He smiled as the screen shut off again, then it fell as he remembered he was going to the party with Kana.

The evening of the party, you met up with Hanaka and Yuki outside the club. The team had gone to extremes, renting out a whole club for the party. The music was thumping when you got inside and with the lights down low, you could hardly make out anyone inside.

Yet somehow, Bokuto was still able to pick you out, calling your name loudly over the low beats and pushing his way through the crowd to pick you up in a strong hug. Hana and Miyu smacked his arms as he wrapped them up as well, then you were being led towards the open bar along the wall.

“I’m so glad you came, _____,” Atsumu yelled when he saw you with Bokuto. He was quick to pull you into a hug, kissing the top of your head. You could tell he had already been drinking and he was quick to fix up your favorite drinks, pushing them into your hands. “We’ve really missed you, you know?”

You had to yell to be heard over the music and gave it up after a few minutes, letting him and Bokuto guide you out onto the dancefloor. Pinned between Miyu and Hana, you let yourself get lost in the music and the sway of their bodies against yours. There were more people than you expected there and, when your drink ran out, you had to push your way through the crowd to get to the bar again.

The room was hot, the alcohol coursing through your body only serving to make you warmer. You passed Atsumu, who was wrapped around someone you had never met before. He smirked at you and you rolled your eyes.

As you made yourself a new drink, you casually looked around the club, taking in the familiar faces that you could actually make out. The flashing lights were wreaking havoc inside of your buzzed brain, everything taking on a fuzzy haze even when you tried to concentrate.

Your heart fell from your chest down into your stomach when you caught sight of Osamu making his way towards the bar.

He was looking over his shoulder at something and froze when he turned back around, locking eyes with you. His lips parted and you could see the surprise evident on his face, his lazy eyes widening a little more as his steps quickened.

Then he stopped. His whole demeanor changed, his eyes darkening as a frown marred his handsome features. You knew him well enough to recognize the guilt etched into his features, his shoulders hunching as he tried to sink in on himself. You gave him a little wave, your heart thumping in your chest.

In the weeks after the breakup, you had locked all the photos of him in a vault app and let Hanaka put the passcode on it to keep you out of it. When she asked why you didn’t just delete them, you expressed a hope that one day you would be able to look back on them without hurting, and you would know then that you were healed. She seemed to understand and her nails tapped the screen of your phone as she input a password.

Not seeing his face and not thinking about him had obviously dulled your memories because the sight of him felt like a punch to the gut.

If you thought he was surprised before, it was nothing compared to how he looked when you actually waved at him. Your heart was pounding, blaming the alcohol on your reaction. If you expected him to take that as permission to approach, you weren’t sure if you were relieved or upset that he didn’t.

He hovered in the space between you, looking between you, the bar, and the crowd. Your anxiety eased the longer it remained between you, relief overwhelming the unwanted hope that bubbled in your stomach. Clearly he meant it when he said he wouldn’t bother you, and you gave him another small wave before disappearing into the crowd with your drink.

He watched you go with a forlorn expression, guilt eating at his insides all over again, but he was happy that you seemed well enough. You had acknowledged him, which was the last thing he had expected after the cold goodbye you left him with that night.

“Osamu,” a voice said from behind him, and he turned to look at Kana behind him. She was stunning as usual, her hand warm on his arm. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head in answer, glancing at where you had disappeared amidst the gyrating bodies. If Kana knew that you were here and that Osamu had seen you, she would get extremely pissy and jealous, which was the last thing he felt like dealing with. On top of that, he knew that Kana would go out of her way to find you. She was spiteful like that, even though you had done nothing to either one of them.

“Nothin’, babe. Just got a little dizzy. I’ll get yer drink, just go back to the table,” he said, pulling his arm from her grasp. If she noticed how cold he was, she said nothing about it as she returned to the group-- of her friends.

None of his friends had joined them and, since you were in the middle of them, he couldn’t either. As much as he wanted to be with them, he would keep his promise to you, keeping out of your way to let you have fun.

With one last glance around, he returned to his table to find Kana and most of the others gone. The ones that were left kept glancing from him to the dancefloor and whispering.

He sighed and picked up the drink, downing it on one long breath before falling back against the booth seat. Staring into his now empty glass, he wondered about all the choices he made up until then.

You woke up the next morning with a wicked hangover, the room still spinning even after several hours of sleep. Rolling over to pick up your phone, you found there were a dozen text messages from the others, the group chat blown up with praise from the party and complaints about their hangovers that morning, but that wasn’t what caught your attention.

There were a series of texts from Osamu and your eyebrows raised higher and higher as you read them, your heart hammering away in your chest.

‘i know i keep texting u nf i don’t jnoq wh y’ ‘u look e d goo tonogjt’ ‘it’s funny’ ‘i thin kksna is cheating on m e’ ‘not that u shuld care right’ ‘atymi thunks im an idipt anf he’s right’

‘i miss you’

The timestamps between the first five and the last one was almost an hour’s difference and you were just starting to process them when another text slid in. It was short, just one word, but it spoke volumes in the emptiness of your bedroom.

‘sorry’

You stared at it for a while longer, just processing everything you were feeling. There was a raging pain where your heart beat, threatening to come out of your chest every time it hit your ribs. You couldn’t think clearly, too many thoughts swirling, making your head throb in time with your heart. What had you done to deserve any of the things that had happened, were still happening to you?

You should’ve just blocked his stupid number because you wouldn’t be dealing with the confusing pain his drunken messages brought. A part of you wanted to believe him-- a part you considered stupid but were unable to ignore. The Osamu you had known, had loved-- still loved, much as you wanted to deny it-- seemed to come out in those texts, and that was a dangerous thing.

Groaning, you rolled over onto your back, reading over the texts again. You were balancing on a tightrope of emotions, dangerously close to giving into the desire to reply.

The typing bubbles showed up again, stopping and starting and stopping again for almost a minute. You held your breath, wondering what he was typing.

‘i’m sorry. i keep messaging you even though i told ya i’d leave ya alone. but i can’t help it. ik what i did was stupid and whta i’m doing now is even dumber but dammit’

You locked your phone even as the bubbles popped up again to roll out of bed, hearing it ping from amidst your blankets as you stumbled towards the bathroom. Your ears were ringing, your head was throbbing, and now your heart was pounding with nerves. You dug through your medicine cabinet for aspirin, listening to your phone go off for a third time.

You couldn’t handle it, whatever he was doing or trying to do, leaving your phone on your bed as you went to the kitchen. Starting up a pot of coffee, you hovered over the sink, sitting somewhere between throwing up and not. You startled yourself when a sob ripped from between your lips.

Sinking down to the floor, you leaned back against the cabinets, wrapping your arms around your knees as you cried. Your tears spilled over your arms and ran down your legs, your nose stuffing up and running. It was several long minutes before you finally quieted, the sound of the coffee pot beeping filling the silence that followed. Your ears were ringing again as the room spun, the nausea from earlier welling up tenfold with the increase in your headache, and you ran to the bathroom.

“Goddammit,” you muttered, your sinuses on fire. After rinsing your mouth out with water, you gulped down a second glass, staring at your disheveled appearance in the mirror. “What should I do?”

You were not about to get in between whatever was going on with Osamu and Kana, but the soft spot you still harbored for him was almost too loud to ignore. Digging your phone out from your sheets, you found 2 more texts from him.

‘i know i don’t deserve your forgiveness. i don’t know what to do’ ‘i don’t know what i want from this but please’

You groaned and unlocked your phone, holding your head in your hands as you stared at the screen. Tears stung your eyes again, your mouth dry as you typed your reply back and then called Hana.

‘I’m sorry, Osamu. I can’t help you.’

You still didn’t block him after that. The part of you that still cared was worried for him and you wanted him to be able to reach you if he actually needed you. After making Hana promise not to tell anyone else what he had said in his texts, you talked it out, explaining the myriad of feelings that were impossible to sort out. She praised you for being strong and not giving into him, remind you he had made the decision to leave you, not the other way around.

You had cried some more before then deleted the thread of messages again, unable to stand the temptation to look at them again. Things were, for lack of a better word, fine after that. You settled back into your post-Osamu routine, trying not to dwell on his pitiful messages or be reminded of him by mundane things. Atsumu didn’t mention anything new happening, so you assumed he was still with Kana.

A month after that fiasco, he hadn’t texted you again. Some nights you laid awake, staring at your ceiling, trying to ignore the hope that he would and the temptation to message him first. Whatever Kana was or wasn’t doing to him or behind his back wasn’t your problem or your concern, and you had to keep telling yourself that as you set your phone down on the nightstand that night.

Rolling over onto your side, you stared out the window through the small gap in the curtains, a small beam of moonlight filtering through and highlighting the empty side of the bed. If you closed your eyes, you could picture Osamu there, scrolling through his phone and laughing before showing you whatever it was. He always smelled so sweet and warm, like the confections he baked at his restaurant and you reached out to touch his pillow. It no longer smelled like him after so many months and a few tears fell, soaking into your own as you recalled how he would look at you. It was always filled with so much softness and warmth before he would pull you in close, resting his chin atop your head.

You didn’t even realize you had fallen asleep until there was a loud noise from somewhere in the apartment, causing you to jerk up into a sitting position, staring blearily at your door. Your eyes stung from your earlier crying, your skin still sticky from laying on your wet pillow. You rubbed at them while another round of knocking rang through the unit.

Suddenly nervous, you tiptoed down the hall towards your front door, pausing until a voice came amidst another flurry of knocking.

“_____, please, let me in. I--I need ya.”

It was Osamu, and the whole room spun in the dark as you stood staring at the door, unable to process the whole situation. Your pulse was thundering in your ears, your fingers and toes going numb as panic shot through you.

There was more knocking, gentler this time, and then a soft thump.

You stumbled towards the door and swung it open, causing Osamu-- who had apparently let his head fall to the door-- to pitch forward, stumbling into your apartment.

“What are you doing here?” you whispered, watching him catch himself from falling. He stood up straight and ran his hands through his hair, eyes wide and frantic in the soft light from the hallway.

“I don’t know. I didn’t know where else to go-- Kana confessed to cheatin’ finally and I left and just-- ended up here,” he said, falling to the couch. You turned on the light and stood there, uncomprehending.

“You could have gone to Atsumu’s or-- or Bokuto’s or-- literally anywhere else,” you said, still standing by the lightswitch.

Osamu groaned, raking his fingers through his hair again before lacing his fingers behind his head. His face was hidden in his arms, knuckles white with tension. “I know, I know but I-- I know it’s fucked up but I wanted to see you.”

The room fell into silence again, punctuated by Osamu’s heavy breathing while you lifted a hand to your mouth, staring first at him then down at your feet.

“Osamu, please, I can’t--” you whispered, and his head snapped up to look at you.

There was agony in his eyes as he tugged at his hair, standing up. You stepped backwards and met the wall as he advanced on you, hands raising as he came to stand in front of you, cupping your face. “I know, I know it isn’t fair. But I need ya to believe how much I missed ya. I made a mistake and I don’t know if I can ever make it up to ya. But you are the best thing that’s ever happened ta me, and I know that now. I should have known before, and ‘m sorry.” Tears were spilling down your cheeks as you stared up at him, lips parted as you sniffled, and he pressed on. “I’ve been thinking about ya everyday for months. Everything Kana did, I compared to you. How she dressed, how she cooked, how she talked, I couldn’t help it--”

“Then why did you leave? Why did you cheat on me with her, if you thought so highly of me?” you whispered. His thumbs rubbed at the tears, wiping them away slower than they were falling. You sounded so confused and hurt, shrinking in on yourself as he crowded you against the wall. He didn’t care if you kicked him out and told him to never bother you again, so long as he never had to see you like that again.

His throat closed up and he just stared, taking you in. Even crying, even hurting because of him, you were beautiful. Every time he thought of you, it was the image of you walking out of the door and his life, eyes cold and devoid of the love you had once looked at him with.

“Because I’m an idiot. I know I am, I knew it the instant I let ya walk out the door. But I was too stupid, too damn prideful ta ask ya to forgive me. And I’m a selfish bastard for asking ya now, but I can’t stop thinkin’ about ya,” he whispered, his hands sliding back into your hair. He tilted your head further back, eyes dipping down to your parted lips, but refrained from the intense urge to kiss you. He couldn’t, not until you said he could. “I’ll work everyday to make ya trust me again, I swear it, _____. I’ll prove to ya I love ya, just-- please*.”

“I--” you whispered, wrapping your hands around his wrists. Did you want to push him away or pull him closer? The two sides warred with each other, causing you to just stand there in confusion as you stared up at him. His rich brown eyes were glittering, and you searched for any sign of dishonesty in them, but all you found were tears. “I don’t know, ‘Samu. What happens if Kana comes back? If she says she wants you again? How can I trust that you won’t do this to me again*?”

He was already shaking his head, black locks flouncing with the movement, his hand tightening on your cheeks. Panic warred with hope in his chest as he moved impossibly closer, pressing his body to yours as he said, “I promise, I promise, I won’t. I’m done with ‘er. I told ya, I’ve not stopped thinkin’ about ya since I left. I thought-- I thought things would change once I settled down with ‘er but-- they didn’t. Even when things were...okay, it was always you. Maybe that’s why she cheated on me, I don’t know. It doesn’ matter ta me anymore, she can do what she wants. All I want is you.”

All your thoughts were swirling and colliding inside your head, overwhelmed by everything he was saying. Osamu was begging for your forgiveness, looking at you with such raw need and hurt that you couldn’t stop hope from blooming in your chest. But you tamped it down, not yet letting it take root. You couldn’t, wouldn’t let yourself fall victim to it yet, not when you were still so unsure.

Reading the indecision in the way you looked away from him, he whispered, “I know it’ll take time, and I’m willin’ to earn ya back, I swear I am. But if ya don’t want to, I’ll understand. I’ll walk out that door right now and never bother you again.”

“You mean it? If I tell you to get out, you’ll go?” you asked, watching the pain flare up in his eyes, washing the hope away. His shoulders slumped and he nodded, his hands slipping free of your hair. The way he backed away from you, looking so lost, caused your heart to thump and you stepped forward, closing the distance again. “Osamu, I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay, please. At least for tonight, I want--”

I want to be wrapped up in your arms tonight, I want you to love me the way you did before, I want you, you thought, finally letting that hope blossom in your heart. Maybe it was a mistake, maybe you would change your mind tomorrow, maybe he would change his mind tomorrow, but right then and there it didn’t matter.

Even if it’s only one last time.

He groaned and dragged you forward, crushing you to his chest and enveloping you in his arms. The familiar smell of confections filled your nose and your legs trembled as he dragged you down the hall to the bedroom while you clung to him, hiding your face in his shirt as your heart raced. If it was a mistake to let him stay, then you were willing to pay the price come the morning, but it felt right as he fell to the bed with you.

He pulled you to his chest, pressing your nose into the column of his throat as he hid his face in your hair. It remained silent between the two of you, the only sound in the room the creaking of the ceiling fan and your quiet breathing as you processed each other’s presence.

“Will you be here in the morning?” you whispered when it grew to be too much. “If-- If she* messages you, are you going to leave?”

Your heart skipped a beat when he pulled away and stared down at you.

He took in your pale face in the faint moonlight, features pinched and drawn, eyes bright with fear. He rolled over onto his back and pulled you forward onto his chest, arm wrapping tight around your waist to keep you there. Into the dark, he whispered, “I know ya won’t believe me right now, but I’ll be here when ya wake up. I’ll go get my stuff from her place and go stay with ‘Tsumu while I figure out how I’m goin’ ta win ya back. I won’t let ya down again, _____.”

You continued to stare through the small gap in the curtains, listening to his heart beat erratically in your ear. You wanted to believe his words, wanted to believe you would wake up in his arms tomorrow morning, and hesitantly let yourself relax. It was a gamble, you knew that, in the same way you knew that if he was gone, you would fall apart all over again.

It was a stupid risk, but as your eyes closed, you let yourself believe in him, just one more time.

He felt your breathing even out and carded his fingers through your hair as he stared up at the ceiling, holding your head to him as his heart filled with hope. He would prove he meant it, he would earn you back, and he would never, ever* put what he had with you at risk again. Rolling back onto his side, you tried to squirm away only to be pulled back into his arms. Unwilling to let you go, he chuckled when you grumbled before curling into him once more

He sighed as his eyes closed, soaking in the warmth and letting the familiar smell of you envelop him as he fell asleep. Tomorrow you might change your mind, so he would hold you close while he could and let himself hope before it was ripped away from him for the final time.

⇥ masterlist

⇥ taglist: @sluttony, @visaintes, @yunhosblackgf, @super-noya, @byebyes-world, @newfriendjen, @atsunakaashi

#osamu x reader #osamu miya x reader #miya osamu x reader #haikyuu x reader #tw alcohol #.roundabout

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aala-13jellychocolate · 5 years

Text

Awaiting Fondness

Pairing: Park Chanyeol x reader

Genre: angst, fluff.

Warnings: mention of the stalker.

Words: 4.5k +

Author Note: It is a simple one-shot. I tried to write fluff but end up with more angst. However, I hope you enjoy. Forgive my mistake and grammar.

Happy Chanyeol day!!

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The last day of college always depressing, the fun ends, time to become adult. You were sad for another reason. Your best friend murmur, “I know what you are thinking. You can still see him. He is my brother, remember.” You roll your eyes but smile at her, “Yoora, I won’t be able to. He is never home. Even if he is, it not like he will let me come every day.” Yoora hugs you, “My brother is the biggest jerk. How could he not love you? Forget him. I’ll find you a guy.” You laugh, hugging her back, said, “Yeah yeah, do that. For now, I’m unhappy. I will not get to see you or him every day.” You childishly pout, then you both giggle.

Chanyeol known best as camps bad boy. Bike, girls, fight, party, drinks, and all the best quality of the bad boy. That is what attracts every one toward him. However, things were different for you. Being a childhood friend of Yoora, you were able to see Chanyeol from puberty. You have seen the goofy person changing into dangerous, cute to hot. Yoora had helped you a lot. She always finds a reason to bring Chanyeol and you together to spend time, but it is no use, he is not into you. And have accepted it.

You and Yoora said bye to other friends and walk toward the college gate. Chanyeol happens to wait for his sister. He doesn’t even spare a look toward you like always. It has been the same since he comes to know your feeling. It is okay if he doesn’t have the emotion for you, but he behaves as if you have made great sin by falling from him. Being used to this situation, you ignore it.

In no time, you give me your last exam. You and all your friends go to the club to say farewells. You see Chanyeol while he comes to pick up Yoora. You wordlessly say goodbye to him.

It has been two years now, last time you had seen him. Although, you know everything about him. Thanks to Yoora. She gives you every bit of information about how he continues to be in the bad boy.

Besides Chanyeol, your life was good. Your parents let you grow without their support. You even went on a few dates and had a few one nights stands. But having a relationship is not in your option yet. Maybe because you know, it will be hard for any person to stay with you after knowing you cannot stop loving someone else.For the last two months, you had a difficult time at work. Finally, you get a free weekend. You ditch your workmate party so you can watch movies at home and be lazy. Plus, Yoora was at your house. Complaining about how annoyingly overprotectively her brother is behaving. And how he also joins her during her dates with her boyfriend. You were laughing at her, maybe little too much, making her scowl you.Yoora was getting ready for her date. “I hope, at least today, Chanyeol won't show up.” You want to laugh and give a sassy comment, but control, it been only one-hour you guy settle after a fight. But you did comment, how beautiful she looks in black dress and light make-up.She was waiting for her boyfriend, continually looking out of the window like a love-sick puppy. You ignore her and try to select a movie for your solo movie date. “Y/N, that creepy guy is again looking. I’m certain. He will make a move on you tonight.” You rolled your eyes. She is again overreacting. You lazily replied, “Yeah. It is totally dark outside. The head building, where he lives, is in the far good distance. Yet, you can see him is planning something. Yoora. End it. He cannot peek inside this apartment.”"Believe me, for once. Whatever, get ready. You are coming with me.”You don’t want to leave your miserable yet relaxing sofa, also, not wanting to medial on her date night like her brother.And she is overthinking like last time. You don’t know the person’s name, but he was simply looking for an apartment in your neighborhood. Even your landlord wanted to throw you out and give him your current place to him. Being a genuine person, he didn’t let your landlord do it. Finally, three months ago, he gets the apartment in your ahead building. You cross him many times on the road. And become ‘Hey’ and 'Bye.’ associates.“Okay, Yoora. Go on your date. I promise I won’t open the door even if there is a fire in my house. I will wait for your rescue. But please. I don’t want to leave the house tonight. Let me be a home-sick person. I beg you.” She didn’t like it. After a small argument, she agreed. Soon she left. You took a long hot shower, wear a short and thin top. Thinking about Yoora, you go to the window and look outside. It was dark. You cannot see anything.Ignoring everything, you get ready for a solo movie date. Suddenly the was knock in the door. For a moment, it gets you startled. Your friends and your parents were busy today. You think, maybe Yoora was right before. However, you open the door and wreck to see Chanyeol, appearing as he fought with someone. His one hand was around his was on his waist and other hands-on doorframes for support.He smirks while asking, “Do you mind helping?” Not trusting your voices, you nod, and lean-to supports him. You were shocked in every way. After two years, you see him like this. Yoora always complains about it, whenever Chanyeol goes to her house in this kind of state. And how many times he has ruined her dates by showing up bloody and bruised. You took him straight to the bathroom, make him sit on the toilet seat. You controlled expression, not showing much of affection, not require him to know, your love for him or pain seeing him injured. It was easy yet hard to control showing your emotion. All this while he was smiling like an idiot. God knows for what. You also give him a fake smile.You try to keep voice steady while saying, “You should clean up first.” He smiles and says, “I think I need your help in removing my shirt.” You nod and take small steps toward him. You help him remove his shirt; he keeps groaning due to pain, it looks fake. As your skin touches him, the sparkling wave passes through your veins. And seeing his toned build, you wanted to run your hand. You frown for thinking like this. Maybe because you were sexually frustrated, it has been long you had slept with someone. Not wanted to show you a blushed face, you turn around, clear your throat and say, “Left side tap has hot water, the right side has a cold. Clean yourself and call me. I’ll call your sister.” He stops you, “Don’t. Let’s not disturb her. I know it is a weekend and you must have someone coming over. I’m sorry I’ll leave. It is okay if you don’t like to help.” You turn toward him and almost shout, “NO.” You didn’t want him to leave in this condition. And it been long, you crave to see his face for a little long while. You go near him and push him generally back to the seat and says, “No one is coming. I’m alone. Just clean up and call me.” He agrees.While waiting, you try to think why Chanyeol to come to you. Today he looks back at you same as during time you guys were friends. Part of you was happy to see him after so long. Yoora sends you a lot of pictures of him in the last two years, but seeing him in front of your eyes is different. Still, it doesn’t make sense for him to come to you.You remember the day when you realize your feeling toward him. Before he knew your feeling, How much of a good friend he was. You used to feel he likes you too. As you gather the courage and start to show your feeling frequently, but when he offended you in front of everyone, you stopped and took a step back. Maybe he never means to humiliate, and he does like you yet, you didn’t push the matter and did what he wished you to do. A few months later, everyone thought, you have moved on from him, only Yoora know you haven’t. She helps you out in hiding. After everything only difference was your love has becomes silent, somehow mature.He calls you and bring you back to reality. He comes out of the bathroom in just pants, looking extremely hot. Crushing your excitement, you find the medical box as he sits on the bed. You can feel his eyes on yours every moment.He grins, “My Doctor friend already checked me and said to bandage cut in my waist. Please don’t call Yoora to allow her to enjoy her date, at least for once.” You craved to laugh. Finally, he is letting his sister be on a proper date, but you look at him with confusion. There was no cut in his waist, it scratches, nothing much. If he is okay, why he is here? Even if he is not okay, still it wasn’t making sense, why he is here.You ask a different question, “How do you know I stay here?” He smirks, “If my sister tells you everything about me so, she does tell me everything about you too.” What is your best friend trying to do here? Give him useless information to him. Thousands of times you have asked her to stop there was no meaning, he doesn’t have a feeling for you. He doesn’t even want to be your friend either. You got angry with her. He asks, “What are you thinking?” You give him a small smile and says, “I’m sorry. I’ll talk to her.”He keeps smiling, “No need. It is okay.” You hummed. Not knowing what else to say. You start applying for medicine on his scratches and ask, “Does it hurt?”He says, “Not much.” It is was awkward for you to be this close to him. And the way he is looking at you with a smile, it feels different. Thanking God for helping you in control your expression, you said, “I got everything is okay with you, but still you need Yoora. I’ll call her and ask her to come after her date. I won’t tell her about you.” He nods.He keeps looking at you silently while you clean up everything. You don’t know how to react. He looks different now. He seems fine, without any pain. If you are not wrong, he was faking it before, but why? He breaks the silence, “Are you sure, no one is coming? I saw popcorn and movie CDs ready. It looked like a movie date. And you look ready for a long night.” After a moment, you understand the meaning of 'long night.' How casually he asks if you are getting laid tonight. You craved to snap, but awkwardly say, “I was about to have a solo movie date.” “Solo? Okay, I will accompany you.”You cannot believe what is happening here. It feels like dreams that you have seen before, many times. You try to protest, “I’ll stay up all night with movies.” He gives you a big smile, “Okay. Message Yoora to come in the morning.” Your eyes got widen. He will stay here for the whole night, in the same room as you. What is with him today?He ignores you and sit on the couch, ready to watch movies. You feel disheartening. He knows you love him, right? Yet he is willing to spend the night here, giving you sweet torture to remember. After two years, does he again want you to feel pathetic because of your one-sided love?Again, he aimlessly says, "If you are feeling awkward, then change your clothes. Just stop giving me a look." You realize what you are wearing, but you were not awkward about that. You were enjoying awkwardness with Chanyeol being near you.You sit another side of your small sofa, to your surprise, he comes close to you, too close. As the movie started, he even warps his hand on your shoulder.You couldn’t control and ask, “What are you doing here?” He only smiles. You ask again, “Stop smiling like an idiot and say, why are you here?” He keeps smiling, but his voice was a little rough, “Because windows have a curtain to keep people from peeking in houses.” You couldn’t understand, window curtain? You don’t like the close window or curtains. You keep them open all the time. He gives you a small kiss on check then go and half-close the curtain. You become stock-still in one place. He naturally kisses you. You cannot decide if you are more shock or mad or uneasy.He looks toward you, seriously say, “From the last months, Yoora has observed someone stalking you. She told you, but you ignored her. And today, before she about to leave for the date, she saw him again. This time, she is sure something will occur. She told you repeatedly, but you ignored her. So she calls me.” You cover the face with your hands and huff, “Chanyeol, Yoora is overreacting, she had a misunderstanding. I had talked to him. He was finding a house in this area.“ You explain to him everything.He annoyingly said, “He was in this house, great girl. You don’t get scared, do you? Whatever my sister never makes a mistake in this stuff. And if you are saying is true, tomorrow morning, I’ll meet him and see about it.” You know there is no meaning of talking further. Both brother and sister are so stubborn. You have to speak with Yoora from involving Chanyeol on this. You ask, “Okay. You can go now. Come in the morning.” He starts laughing, “I’m not going anywhere. Until your stalker and I talk.” You were furious but cannot do anything, trying to overlook him and distract yourself by starting a movie.As the movie starts, he quietly sits with you. Unconsciously, he takes your popcorn tube from your hands. You internally get annoyed. Soon it was replaced with awe. He looks like a child. Toward the end, there was an emotional sense. You heard Chanyeol sob. You look toward him and laugh, seeing him shedding tears over a movie. Seeing you laugh, he regains his manful attitude. When you continue laughing, he says, “Better stop laughing, or I will make you stop.” You couldn’t stop. He growls, “Stop it. Now.” He looked threatening while saying it. However, you didn’t feel any fear, keep laughing standing up from the sofa. He grabs you by your waist, pulls you in his lap. You jolt by his action, not being this close to him ever before. You were nervous yet, so satisfactory. You try to push him away, “I’m sorry. Let me go.” He let you go. You awkwardly say, “You can watch movies if you want. I’m going to sleep. Good night.” He holds your wrist, "You always leave your guest alone, or I’m special?” Guest? Till now, he was behaving like he owns this house. You silently sit again and start another movie. You exactly don’t remember how, but you fall asleep.You woke up late in the morning, Chanyeol arms and legs wrap around you, still in your small sofa. It must be torment for him to sleep in a tiny place with his giant frame, with you. You completely awake, how did you sleep in his arms? You remember when you kissed him for the first time, he did kiss you back, but the next day, he changes. You thought it is just because he doesn’t know how to say what he felt, but it was your illusion, he never liked you. Today will hurt you again. Yet, you don't want you to wake him from a peaceful sleep. Slowly you slip from his hold and go back to your room.Your workmate message distracts you, irritating with weekend extra work. You complete your work, email, and go to the bath. You have forgotten about Chanyeol being in your place. Changing your clothes in a single almost see-through shirt, become comfortable. Roaming around the house, open all the closed curtain, bringing morning light inside your apartment and turn on the music, to relax.Chanyeol wakes up by it, smirk while saying, “Nice morning view.” You scream a bit, try to hide, begs him to look away, but he doesn’t, why did keep looking? You run inside your room. Your heart was beating too fast, full of embarrassment. He knocks at your room door, “Get ready, we are going to meet your stalker.” Asshole didn’t even apologize.You both reach to your so-called stalker house, ring the doorbell. You are positive. He was not after you. Due to office timing, you both cross a path. When doesn’t answer the door, you said, “Chanyeol, he must have gone to work. I’m telling you, he is a nice person, Yoora has just a misunderstanding.” He disagrees, “I doubt. She would never beg me to come for a small thing.” Knowing your best friend nature, of course, she has begged like hell. Otherwise, he would have never come. He doesn’t care about you. It angered you, don’t need unintended kindness of anyone. “Chanyeol, I don’t need your help. Even if he is a stalker, it is my problem, not yours. I know Yoora begged you to come here. I’ll talk to her. She will never again involve you in my problem, ever again.” He huff, “I’m here to help you. Stop showing me your hollow pride.” You snap, “I didn’t ask you to help me. And I just said, I don’t need your help.” You made him angry, his face becomes red, but you didn't care. Dragging you out of the building pushes you toward your building and left. You go straight to your bed. You were angry with Yoora too. It becomes okay to stay without seeing Chanyeol. Maybe you could have move-on to, but now new pain crosses your heart. You hate Chanyeol, currently Yoora too. You cry till you were tired then sleep.In the evening, your so-called stalker comes to meet you. “Hey. My neighbor said you had come to me in the morning. I'm surprised. I mean, we don't know each other. So, I come here to see. I mean, you have any problem or need something. By the way, my name is Junjin,” he tensely said. You smile toward your stalker/Junjin. You can understand him. You both were not even friends, yet you were at his door. You smile, invite him for coffee, introduce yourself. You truthfully explain to him, also about your friend's misunderstanding. You both talked for hours until he awkwardly tells you, it is late, he wants to leave. You noticed. He is very modest and sensitive. While leaving your place, he asks to become his friends. He also apologizes to you. By chance, you felt uneasiness around him. You ensure it okay, and you are happy to be his friend.After a few days, you and Junjin become good friends. You come to know he is alone, lost his family years ago. He works in an IT company nearby, that why he wanted the house in this locality. Due to his shy nature, he doesn't have many friends. Sometimes, he is overly cute. But he is also protective. In the last two months, it has become your habit to have dinner with him because he is good at cooking.Somewhere you were unhappy. Your only best friend is not speaking with you for the last two months, the longest break-up you had with her. You were still angry with her but couldn’t help to miss your best friend. You loved her. So, you called her. She picks up but stays silent.You said, “Hey, I’m angry, but you’re not speaking with me.”“Do you know how much Channie was angry with me because of you?”“I’m sorry, but it is your fault too.” She again goes silent, showing disagreement. You continue, “I had chatted with the stalker, his name is Junjin, and you had a misunderstanding about him. He seems a nice person.” You can say. She didn’t like it. You convince her to meet him once then decide. After the meeting, if she still feels the same, you will obey her. She agreed to it.Next weekend after Yoora meets him, she becomes okay with friendship but asks you to be careful. You hesitantly ask about Chanyeol. For the first time, she refused to speak about his brother. You didn’t push the matter, although it hurt you a lot.Everything went back to place beside Yoora stops telling you about Chanyeol. You were missing him too much. It was not like he is with you every day, but hearing about him was always a happy thing.On the other hand, Junjin and your friendship were growing. To your surprise, he asks you out. You tell him you cannot. You are not ready. After that, he asks you to continue the friendship. The thing was normal again.Today, it becomes late at work. Your workmate comes to drop you off. You invite him for late-night coffee. Suddenly Junjin, start banging your door. His behavior makes you and your workmate suffering. You speak to him about it. He says apologize nevertheless does the same. When it begins to happen too often, you start maintaining distant from him.When Yoora comes to stay with you, you told her about Junjin. She gives you ‘I told you so’ look but be your supportive friend. For taking your mind away from stuff, she takes you for one week holidays. Fortunately, you got holidays from work. During the holiday, you indirectly ask about Chanyeol. She still denies telling anything about him. It feels like she is giving you a punishment. You loved him. You wanted to say sorry for your behavior. You missed talking regarding Chanyeol. However, you know your mistake.When you return home, Junjin got angry about going without telling him. It pisses you off completely. You ask him to stay away from you. For a few days, he continuously says sorry in message and calls or whenever you see him. You block him in every way possible.You went late-night grocery shopping after party with at the office. You reach the apartment and see Junjin waiting at your door. He looks angry, but said in a dull voice, “Where were you till now?” You push him away from your door while say in the same manner, “Who you are? Why I’m answerable to you?” You open the door, put the bags inside. “Do you know what time it is? You are roaming with him till this late.” You huff, "Again, none of your concern." He seems to get your point. You about went inside your apartment, suddenly, he grabs your arms, tightly making you cry out due to pain.He pushes you in the ground, coming above you, he grabs your throat. You try to fight but no use. He increased pressure on your throat little by little. He smirks while saying, “I just wanted a friend, and you were perfect for it. I even proposed you to keep you close, but you want everyone. It is not easy to satisfy you. And fuck. Where is he now? Huh, I thought he loves you. That wasn’t the reason he uses to wait every day for you. In the morning, coming before you go to work, in the night, wait downstairs until you are inside your home safely. Whenever or wherever I see, he is behind you.” You cannot understand what he is talking about or who? You try to push him, but he was so strong. Slowly you were losing consciousness. All the oxygen inside your body got used.Thankfully, Chanyeol comes from nowhere. He shoves Junjin away from you and starts hitting him. You sit up, try to get steady while coughing, breathing heavily. Chanyeol makes sure Junjin doesn’t have the energy to do anything.Chanyeol comes to you and asks, “Are you okay?” You still in shock to reply with anything. He takes you in his arms, rocking you back and forth, “Everything is okay now. Try to relax. I promise he won’t do anything. I'm sorry for being late.” You couldn’t reply, keep crying you wrap yourself around him.The next minute, cops showed up. Thanks to your neighbor's child, he saw Junjin waiting for you for more than two hours. When he feels odd above his behaviors while waiting, the kid calls the cops. You couldn’t be gladder to him and Chanyeol for saving you. Cops inform that Junjin is a wanted criminal. He has history stalking and killing. Due to a lack of living proof, he manages to come out of jail. They ask you to come down to the station tomorrow for the statement.Yoora comes with her boyfriend. You cry in your best friend's shoulder. She informs your parents, they are coming by morning. When she says about going to her home, you beg her not to. You were still scared to stay alone. Chanyeol sends them away by saying he will stay with you. You bewilder by everything. You were feeling ashamed for not trusting and fighting before. So you didn't struggle when Chanyeol stayed behind.You were crying in your bed, Chanyeol comes and asks for a medical box. He got hurt during the fight, making you feel more terrible. He sits on your bed. While applying antiseptic, you say in a slow voice, “I’m sorry because of me, you got hurt.” He smiles, “It is okay, but don’t fight with me next time. And when me or my sister say something, please listen to it.” You nod, tear start flow again. He gets up and pulls you in a hug. You also hug him back, “I’m sorry, I should have listened. He seemed a genuine person. He even becomes my friend in a short time. I don’t know how this happens. I don’t know what he was saying or about whom while he…. he was....” You couldn’t complete it. Chanyeol says while rubbing your back, “He was talking about me. After our fight, I still have been around you. Particularly after he asks you for the date." You thanked him again.Chanyeol tries to make you sleep with his arm wrap around your waist, others rubbing your back. Your head buried in the crook of his neck. Still, you couldn't. Your mind is full of Junjin throughs. "Y/n, sleep." He said like order. You hummed, attempted, and failed. He whispers, "It feels nice, be with you like this." You couldn't understand for a minute. He added, "I should have done this earlier, during our college." It hit you. How physically close you were with Chanyeol. Immediately, you create distance with him. He comfortably put rest his hands in the back of the head and close his eyes. You murmured, "I'm fine now. You can go home." You wanted him to stay, but the reality is he will leave you sooner or later. He should do it now. Maybe it will hurt you less this time. He doesn't move an inch, and you stare at his calm face. He mutters, "I wasn't helping you because Yoora asked me. I did it because it was you.” You grew puzzled about what he was trying to say. He opens his eyes, looking into yours, continues, "Sorry for taking this long. I always thought you are better off me, get a nice guy who can give you the world. But after spending a little time around you and knowing you still love me, I cannot control anymore."Your heartbeat works faster. It feels like a real dream. Your spirit always knew he loved you, and it is correct. He does love you. He waits for you to say something, but your voice is gone. He pulls you back in his arms. You try to move, but his hold was tight. "Don't move, please. I won't be able to say while looking at you." He pauses then declared, "Y/n. I love you. I love from our childhood. Just like you, I cannot be with anyone else. I'm sorry for making things twisted." You cannot put your feeling in words. You got the world. He loves you back. You pull him closer, hold him tighter. Thank god. He doesn't need a word. He knows you. "Y/n. You willing to give a chance after everything?" You nod, in the embrace. "Then please, let me go and look at me." You did. He smiles and moves only to brings his lips to yours.You were positive, it won't be easy to manage with him. But you love him, and ready to struggle. Finally, your story with him has started.

#exo #exo chanyeol #oneshot #chanyeol one shot #chanyeol scenario #exo fluff #kpop fluff #chanyeol angst #chanyeol au #park chanyeol #chanyeol imagine #exo oneshot #chanyeol x reader #chanyeol x you #Jellychocolate

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chrryjin · 5 years

Text

sᴋᴢ ᴍʏsᴛɪᴄ ᴍᴇssᴇɴɢᴇʀ ᴀᴜ

Name: Kim Woojin

Birthdate: April 8, 1997

Occupation: Vocal trainer

Username: Teddybearwoojin, having a common name sucked so he had to be creative

Texting style: Usually uses proper grammar, but still will use acronyms and slang. Will leave it up to auto-capitalization.

Text bubble color: Mustard, basically a matte gold

Fun fact: He’s the eldest so he gets made fun of for being old a lot by the others. Everyone’s secretly terrified of him. Rarely posts selfies. Usually pretty chill.

Bad end: You end up kidnapped to Mint-Eye and get brainwashed into the cult, he didn’t make it in time to save you.

Good end: Woojin became your vocal trainer. He saw potential in you to become a singer, so he nurtured you. You both toured the world, and he proposed in one of your concerts.

Quote: “Whoa, it’s kind of weird to hear your voice instead of texting. Hm? You want me to sing you to sleep? Fine, but just this once.”

Name: Bang Christopher/Chan

Birthdate: October 3, 1997

Occupation: Actor

Username: CB97, his initials and birthyear

Texting style: Varied, usually proper grammer too. May type in all lowercase just for the aesthetic.

Text bubble color: Grey, since he couldn’t do black.

Fun facts: 1/3 of the ‘leader group’ 3racha (how everything started), the offical leader leader of the groupchat. Has you listen to song snippets that he produced as a hobby.

Bad end: You get into a scandal with him, his agency forcing him to denounce you. You end up harrassed by fans until you commit suicide.

Good end: You date in secret for a while, before he proposes to you on live national television. You accpet. The two of you overcome the hate and he retires to live a peaceful life.

Quote: “Me? Talented? Not really, but thank you! No, seriously I’m not! I think you’re the amazing one, organizing the party and everything.”

Name: Lee Minho

Birthdate: October 25, 1998

Occupation: Dance instructor

Username: Leeknow. He gets a lot of clowning for this.

Texting style: Lots of emojis, decent grammar. uses 🥴 a lot

Text bubble color: A turquoise/aquamarine

Fun facts: He has three cats that no one cares to remember. Those cats are his life clown them and die. Threatens to kill someone on a daily basis, also a flirter.

Bad end: On the way to his dance studio at night, you get robbed and eventually murdered for trying to fight back.

Good end: You encouraged and gave him confidence to follow his old dream of being an idol. With your support, he debuted in a group, and revealed your relationship before he retired.

Quote: “Hey beautiful, want to grab a drink sometime? Just kidding, but I’m always up for it. Drinks, or eliminating someone annoying for you.”

Name: Seo Changbin

Birthdate: August 11, 1999

Occupation: Producer

Username: SpearB, his ‘producer’ name.

Texting style: Uses a surprisingly cute style, lots of kao emojis (〃ω〃) and normal emojis despite his ‘darkness’

Text bubble color: Light pink. Edge lord sure.

Fun facts: 1/3 of 3racha. He’s a pretty well known producer, he’s made songs for multiple dramas and idols. He insists that he’s ‘edgy’ but he’s really not. Gets clowned for his height.

Bad end: You accidentally leak one of his works in progress and his music gets plagiarized. You get kicked out for betraying him.

Good end: You urged him to go into the spotlight rather than hide behind his music. He becomes known for his speed and spit-fire style, with you as his biggest supporter.

Quote: “What? Did you just call me short?! Binnie’s not short! He’s really mad now, hmph! It’s not funny! I’m seriously not short, hey!”

Name: Hwang Hyunjin

Birthdate: March 20, 2000

Occupation: Travel blogger

Username: Princejinnie, his nickname.

Texting style: He texts pretty normally. The occasional spell-check mess up, he uses emojis and slang too.

Text bubble color: Light blue, periwinkle.

Fun facts: He models part-time, but he’d rather have the places he visits become popular rather than his face. Super sensitive, a crybaby. Hated Jisung when he was younger.

Bad end: The bomb in the apartment malfunctions and goes off just as Hyunjin enters, the explosion killing you both.

Quote: “Hello? Hm? No, I’m not crying *sniffle*. Okay, maybe I am. The last episode of the drama got to me, okay? Maybe I can cry on your shoulder soon.”

E̸̡͔̲͇̦̙͙̗̳̣̹̤̩͇̣̥̫̩̜͙͗͗͊̽̓̈́͑̇̆̔̀̔̈͊̿͐̃͂͒̔́̅̀̏͜͝ͅR̸̥͈̱̪̪̳̞̙̍̌̀͆̃̐̽͌̏̚͜͠Ṛ̸̡̤̞̗͈̜̱̫̖̫͉̤̂̽̓̍̏̾͋͆̃̃̈̑͘Ǒ̶̘̮͍̙̱̌͛̀́͂̉͒͊̈̈́́̑͛͑̈́̆̈́̄͑̚͠R̵̝̦̝̰͎̾̓͛͐̌̈̈́̕ A̸̢̛͉̱̙͙͇̟̻̲̻̮̦̝͛͑͋̂̂̿̂̋̄̀͒͊̌͌͘͝͠ľ̵̢͚̞̠̭̺̣͖̈́̆͛̀̍̽̂͋͜ţ̷̢̛̱̤̥̗͎̪̭̮̳͚̗̔̅͗̈́̆̈́̉͋̑̅͊̒͂̈́̽̄̕͘͝e̵͓̤͐̇̉̊̃͂͐͐̈́̃̐̐̏̉̀̏̃̀̈́͝͝ŕ̴̢̹̤̬̯̗̪̜̫͍͓̍͆͊̏͘n̴̺͕̪̮̮̰̔̎͂̂́̏͗̈́͂͝a̸͔̭̣̲̤͈̯̘͈͖̤̹̖̒̅̑̽͐͑̓͘͘͝ͅt̵̖̣̭͈͙́͌̾̎̆̆̈́̍̂́̆̈́́̓̒̈̀̀̀ȩ̶̧̱̥͈̫͓͖̦͓̳̜̼̻͓͇̑̂͊̈́̀͑̂̑͘͘͜ͅͅ ̷͔̮̫̋̋̏̅̊͗̈́Ȓ̶͍̼̅̄̅͒̈́͠o̷̪͓͔͉̖̥͚̗͈̎͌ų̷̹̦̱̬̪͍̖̭̱͇̬̼͂̔̿̌̉̔̍̉̿̄́̑͋̑͛̕͠t̴̢̛͙̭͍̮͍̝̝͕̬̺͚̲̙͙͒̐̂̐̀̒͑́͐͒̍̑̕ẹ̶̩̗̪̞̘̥͈̩͎̤̬͓̰̲̑̇̿̌̀͌͆̃͂̈̕͝

Occupation: Mint Eye’s hacker

Username: Unknown

Texting style: Super creepy, mysterious. Seems to know everything about you.

Text bubble color: Pure white

Fun facts: He was brainwashed at a young age, a devout follower of Mint Eye. The travel blog is a coverup, he usually scouts potential followers in those areas.

Bad end: He kidnaps you, and you end up brainwashed and suffer from stockholm syndrome, loving your kidnapper and willing to die for him.

Good end: You end up becoming his light, and you help him into the process of recovery. He makes up with Jisung, and his ‘coverup’ becomes his true self. He’s happy again, with you.

Quote: “Mint Eye is the only place where I matter. Everything else is always Jisung, Jisung, Jisung! Yoh liar! I don’t matter to you, how can I?”

Name: Han Jisung

Birthdate: September 14, 2000

Occupation: Producer

Username: J-One, his producer name.

Texting style: Sporadic, it can vary immensely. You can’t predict it. Has sporadic moments of deep thoughts.

Text bubble color: Light purple, lavendar

Fun Facts: 1/3 of 3racha. Famous producer, collabs with Changbin a lot. Usually ignored whenever he acts cute or makes a joke. Knows how to hack from his olden days.

Bad end: You get kidnapped and used as a hostage, Hyunjin betraying Stray Kids. Jisung sacrifices himself over to Mint Eye, but you die anyway.

Good end: You help him defeat and recover Hyunjin. They end up being closer than ever, and you a true companion for Jisung. You saw through his mask and saw who he truly was.

Quote: “Heyo! It’s your neighborhood squirrel~ Hehe, you’re the only one who laughs at my jokes, the only one who loves me in this forsaken world~”

Name: Lee Felix Yongbok

Birthdate: September 15, 2000

Occupation: Song writer

Username: Fortniteguy4419

Texting style: Lots of memes and slang, it’s a miracle if you understand what he texts. Similar to Jisung, has his moments.

Text bubble color: Bright yellow, a bit harsh on the eyes

Fun facts: He’s relatively new, similar to you. He’s not super famous yet, but he’s trying. He’s the one opening up chatrooms at horrible hours, preventing you from sleeping.

Bad end: He gets tricked into Mint Eye, and you decide to go solo to save him. You both end up becoming brainwashed followers.

Good end: Felix ends up making it big, he writes songs for you to sing together. The fans supported you the whole way, excited that you were together. You both move back to Australia.

Quote: “Eyy, let’s get it. Dare me to drink five Redbulls? Anway, it’s 3am and I’m probably going to die. You better save me with a kiss okay?”

Name: Kim Seungmin

Birthdate: September 22, 2000

Occupation: Prosecutor

Username: #1myday

Texting style: Proper grammar, but will use emojis like :3 occasionally. Will text in all caps a lot, especially when about Day6.

Text bubble color: Mint green, on the lighter side

Fun facts: Huge Day6 fan, will never shut up about them. You’d think he was the normal member but nope. Regularly threatens to kill someone, like Minho. Soft spots for Hyunjin and Jeongin.

Bad end: You end up becoming the target of a serial killer, the one Seungmin was investigating into. You end up murdered, even though the killer was caught.

Good end: The serial killer is caught, and Seungmin becomes a well-respected prosecutor. The both of you go after the criminals that no one wants, becoming an unstoppable duo.

Quote: “You listen to Day6 too?! Oh, that’s my favorite song as well! We should go to a concert together sometime! You’re my favorite, stan kings.”

Name: Yang Jeongin

Birthdate: February 8, 2001

Occupation: 3rd grade teacher

Username: Babyshark

Texting style: Relatively normal, probably the most normal out of everyone. Uses emojis and slang but not too much or too little.

Text bubble color: Hot pink, looks nearly like red.

Fun facts: The youngest, he gets babied. He’s kind of evil, and he could probably get away with murder in the groupchat. Hates aegyo, hates being babied. Kind of hates the members.

Bad end: You visit his school one day, but then a terrorist showed up. You and Jeongin end up dying from protecting his students.

Good end: You end up in a cute and wholesome relationship. You baby him a lot, and he could tolerate it since it was you. His students helped him propose, it was really cute.

Quote: “I think you’re the only normal one in the groupchat—What? I’m not a baby, I’m a man! I teach babies! Baby teaching babies—It’s not like thaaat!”

Bonus

Name: Y/N

Birthdate: XXXXX XX XXXX

Occupation: XXXXXX

Username: Readerinsert

Texting style: It varies from time to time, but usually lowercase due to laziness. Emojis are used a lot too, and so are abbreviations.

Text bubble color: Your favorite color

Fun facts: You were lured and basically trapped into a groupchat named Stray Kids, and you had to organize a party on their behalf. Sketchy, but the guys were all sweet so you couldn’t help it —

Quote: “Wait, did you say that this apartment could explode? Great! Give me the sweet release of death, escape from the capitalist world of depression and letdowns—”

#stray kids #stray kids au #stray kids imagine #mystic messenger #mysme

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fyrapartnersearch · 4 years

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summer partners wanted!!!

Hey fellow writers, my name is Louise! <3 I’m an avid roleplayer, legal adult, and on the search for some new partners (obviously). For the sake of brevity, I’m going to try to keep this ad short, but just know I’m chatty when it comes to OOC talk! I’m your girl when it comes to creativity and plot twists, fun headcanons, world building, playlists, aesthetics, fanart, so on!

I write in third person, past tense. I’m also willing to write in present tense if that’s your style.

Quality of quantity. I mirror replies and comfortable with most lengths, ranging from a few paragraphs to a full-on essay. Nothing scares me, so if you’re verbose and love flowery prose, I’m not going to run the opposite direction. I can also do lazy lit, for all you Tumblr ~aesthetic~ people out there.

Proper grammar is a necessity. Anything goes for outside of roleplay in the OOC chat, though!

I like to have at least two mains to write, as I found only focusing on one can be a bit too boring. As for side characters, I like having a diverse cast to bring to life that we can sometimes share.

I love grey morality, tragic backstories, slow burn romances, unexpected plot twists, backstabbing, political and ideological conflicts, emotional intensity—anything that will have us screaming in the OOC chat. My writing is fueled by my passion for drama because I am 100% a messy bitch.

World building is something I LOVE, so never, ever be afraid to delve into that with me or want to bend/ignore canon in favor for our own set-up.

As for what I wish to roleplay, I have quite a few canon-verse I’d like to explore, as well as original ideas. Please note for canon-verses, I wish to only use original characters. I’m also fond of bending canon and implementing headcanons in place of certain things that we agree on.

HARRY POTTER. I’ve been in love with the wizarding world ever since elementary school and I’m afraid I’ll never tire of it. I would love to expand on lore and supplement the roleplay with our own, unique takes. I would love to either follow our own group of Hogwart (or Ilvermorny!) students over the course of several years, including their adult life in the magical world. While the premise is basic, perhaps we could replace Voldemort with our own source of conflict and reshape Hogwarts history to our liking. This plot would be open-ended and heavily character-driven! Something else I’d be interested in is taking the Triwizard Tournament and twisting it to be more inclusive to where the magical school of our choice would host one champion from every magical academy. I don’t have much else behind this idea, but I think it’d be fun to do!

ASOIAF: By far my biggest guilty pleasure, I wouldn’t be a true messy bitch if I didn’t want to take the Iron Throne for myself. (Before you ask, yes, I love Cersei.) I love ye olde fantasy, with cunning houses sprawled throughout our own land of fantasy and wonder. My main desire it to take the concept of ASOIAF/GOT where various houses and regions are all fighting a bloodied, dirty war full of political and personal drama. If you’re down to make our own royal houses, heirs, and backstabbing puppetmasters, I’m eagerly awaiting your email.

GOTHIC SUBURBIA: Remember that feeling you got while reading IT and watching Stranger Things for the first time? That’s a high I’m desperately trying to chase. Some other sources of aesthetic/plot inspiration can be drawn from Twin Peaks, Edward Scissorhands, Carrie, etc.. Think of a humdrum town where nothing extraordinary happens… until, well, something does. And that something is horrifying. I’m open to exploring anything creepy, ranging from the supernatural to killer cults. For this verse, I’d love to play with time and jump between our characters being kids/teens and adults. Whatever driving plot force we decide on, how did it change our characters overtime? What relationships are ruined, what are things they never got to say? What memories are skewed? What brought them all back together? This plot would be heavily character-driven!

HUNGER GAMES: What year is it? But seriously, I got this idea from an old roleplay partner that unfortunately ghosted, and I’ve been craving to do it again ever since. This verse would focus on our own, original victors of the Hunger Games and focus on their lives in the Capitol. I’d love to explore the trauma from the games and living in poverty to suddenly becoming a celebrity to rich, privileged people that see you as nothing more than a character. (Yes, Capitol citizens absolutely write self-insert fanfics about Victors, you cannot convince me otherwise.) There’s so much untapped depth to Victors! I’d also love to add more lore to the districts and create our own rebellion.

If any of these caught your attention, send me something at [email protected]! Please tell me what ideas you’re interested in and some information about yourself. I can’t wait to hear from you! ♡

#oc rp #multiple paragraph #para #long term #email #submission

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imblue-dabade-dabadi · 5 years

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Maybe I'm just a literacy snob but it is genuilely something that gets under my skin

I know that this is, most likely, just me being petty and getting annoyed at things that dont matter (which is pretty much the usual). People who are my age, hell even people 2 or 3 years younger, should have proper grammar. I couldn't care less about spelling, I suck at that too. But when there is someone I know who is of sound mind and old enough to know better still completely ignores most gramatical rules it makes me so mad. You are honestly just setting yourself up for lazy writing when it counts, as the less you purposely use proper grammer the quicker you erase years and years of education about the matter, maybe even forgetting about it completely. Seriously people.

#rant #literacy nerd #literature nerd #english class #english nerd problems #use proper grammar people please #except for maybe this site #you guys get a free pass #grammar #issues

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hoe-imaginess · 7 years

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Kakashi and Shikamaru texting headcanons pls

Kakashi

•Suuuuucks at texting. It’s so frustrating. Mr. Read and No Reply. He honestly can’t keep up with texts. He’s got like 200 unread messages

•Kakashi is pretty much too lazy to reply to texts. Even if it’s someone he likes talking to, he can’t help but ignore their texts. If they want to talk, they’re better off meeting up in person. Even a phone call is better than a text, though he has a habit of falling asleep on calls

•Texting Kakashi will you give you so much anxiety omg. It’s always surprising when he’s capable of answering right away and holding a conversation, but he takes foreverrrr to type out a response. All you see is that little text bubble appearing and disappearing. Appear, disappear. Appear, disappear. It’s so nerve-wracking, especially if you just said something risky (let’s be real, especially if you have a crush on him and you just said something a lil too flirty). You think that maybe he’s uncomfortable and can’t formulate a response, that you’ve just ruined your relationship with him. But really, he’s just distracted by something else, like the t.v or Icha Icha

•If someone he hasn’t talked to in a while is suddenly on his mind, he can be thoughtful enough to shoot them a text just to check up on them. It’s always nice getting a text like that from Kakashi

•Usually, he uses proper grammar when texting. No text lingo. But sometimes he’s way too lazy to type out what he wants to say, so he goes the whole “kk gtg ttyl c u tmrw” route. It gets a little weird seeing Kakashi text like that

•An unfortunate victim of incorrect autocorrect. And he doesn’t read over his texts before sending, so there’s no fixing it. He once sent Naruto “Bring the paprika to the Hokage office tomorrow”. He meant to type bring the paperwork, and Naruto actually brought paprika tbh

•Forgets to save people’s numbers all the time and has to blindly rely on their previous text conversations to try and guess who they are

•He’s not an impatient texter at all. If he’s waiting for someone to reply, someone he really wants to talk to, he doesn’t get all worked up about it. He figures they’re just busy. And he’s good at taking hints, so if they’ve shown previously that they really just don’t like texting him, he’d be able to tell. So if someone he regularly chats with suddenly isn’t responding, he knows it’s not any reason to panic or get anxious. He’s pretty chill about it

Shikamaru

•He’s pretty much not gonna text anyone unless they text him first. Even if the other person was the last to respond when the conversation ended, he honestly doesn’t see why that means he needs to be the one to continue the convo next. You gotta take the double text risk with Shikamaru, or else you’re never getting a response

•Always replies with that disappointing “K” text. Doesn’t matter if you’ve just typed out a paragraph, that’s how he responds

•Mutes any groupchats he’s in. He didn’t ask to be put in them in the first place. Ino probably added him to the Konoha squad groupchat. He’s low key annoyed. He gets about 50 messages an hour

•He ends every sentence with a period so you’d easily mistake something casual he says for something intense. “I’ll talk to you later.” “It’s fine.” “Yes.” Tbh it sounds like he’s annoyed with you 24/7, but that’s just how he texts

•Lies about not getting texts when he needs an excuse as to why he didn’t answer. “My phone is messed up, I’m not getting messages” type of dude

•He can’t stand serious conversations over text. If his s/o wanted to discuss their relationship over text, he just doesn’t answer. Discussing relationship issues is always bothersome, but if they’re going to be brought up at all, let it be in person. Don’t ever try to get all serious with Shikamaru over text because you’re definitely getting ignored. It sucks, but that’s how it is

•The only time he’s ever attached to his phone is if he knows the person he’s texting (a s/o maybe, in this case) is out late or they were going somewhere and he wanted an update on how they were doing, and they don’t respond to his texts. That’s when he gets a little worried, waiting for a reply to make sure they’re okay

#kakashi #shikamaru #kakahsi hatake #hatake kakashi #shikamaru nara #nara shikamaru #naruto imagines

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raekaotik · 7 years

Text

Here we go?

So, @ebbqol tagged me to do this forever ago. I'm slow as shit, but here it is.

1. Name: Rae

2. Zodiac Sign: Cancer Sun, Aries Moon, Leo Rising. So much fire....

3. Three Fears: Spiders, heights, needles

4. Three Things I Love: Skulls, dragons, the color black

5. My best Friend: What are friends??? Probably my husband, people don't seem to stick around to reach best friend level. And I'm horrible at opening up.

6. Last Song I Listened To: Uuummmm Oh Lord by In This Moment

7. Four Turn ons: Sass, dominance, intelligence, and a sense of humor

8. Four Turn Offs: Loud ignorance, holier-than-thou attitudes, stereotypical girliness, not listening (especially to no)

9. Dream Date Scenario: Something personal, which of course sounds super vague. If an idea/activity/event/anything immediately makes you think of me, then it is most likely a good idea. I don't like flashy or expensive dates, we could literally just watch something on Netflix or get a Redbox and have takeout, and I'll be over the moon. Just give me your time, and I'll try my best to make it worthwhile.

10. Tattoos/ Piercings: I have 6 tattoos, currently; a crescent moon on my hip, a barcode on one ankle and a chain of paper people on the other, Disturbed's Guy and a Hylian shield on one calf, and the Evanescence logo on the other. I only have piercings in my ears; one set is gauged to 00, and I have 2 in the left ear and 3 in the right.

11. Why I joined Tumblr: Truthfully, so I didn't have to steal my husband's phone to look at porn, and I've found all sorts of fun, not perverted things as well. Now there's very little porn on my dash.

12. How I feel Right Now: Tired as shit, but I'm a glutton for punishment.

13. Something I really, really want: My own space to be myself, and people that love me who understand that I just need to be a burrito sometimes.

14. My relationship status: Married with 2 wonderful step kids.

15. The meaning behind my URL: I prefer Raynai, but that spelling was taken.

16. Favorite songs: Shit, umm... Anything Disturbed, Bloody Creature Poster Girl by In This Moment, Battle Born by Five Finger Death Punch, Papa Roach's Born for Greatness, Natural Born Killer by Avenged Sevenfold, Shinedown's cover of Simple Man..... There's a ton along those lines.

17. Favorite Movies: Every Riddick movie, The Emperor's New Groove, A Knight's Tale... I know there's more, but I'm drawing a blank at the mo.

18. Favorite bands: Disturbed, Avenged Sevenfold, Papa Roach, Three Days Grace, In This Moment, Halestorm, Five Finger Death Punch, Shinedown... Oodles

19. Three things that upset me: Not being able to help those I care for, people quick to judge, and being expected to change to appease someone.

20. Three things that make me happy: Creepy-cute things, anything Zelda, tiny versions of things

21. Three things I find attractive in other people: Wit, humility, emotional maturity

22. Something I love: Sleep

23. Someone I miss: My mother

24. My relationship with my parents: My mom, great. I don't really talk to my dad anymore.

25. My favorite holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving, and 4th of July.

26. Someone from tumblr I would date: Hhrrrmmmmmm yeah. No clue.

27. A confession: I am often too lazy to eat, even though my stomach is making all the rumblies.

28. Favorite drinks: Cherry Coke, ruby red and tangerine juice, Full Throttle.... Ice water is also nice.

29. Favorite foods: Pastas, tomato sauces, BREAD, snacks, candies, sunflower seeds

30. Favorite smells/ scents: Lilac, lavender as long as it's not super strong, jasmine, dragon's blood, burning wood, sulfur..... black cherry

31. Three things that annoy me easily: Being spoken over when actually part of a conversation, being talked down to, and being interrupted while reading.

32. My pets: Oh damn.... 2 dogs, Kara the pit bull and Abbie the pit/lab mix; 2 cats, all black Salem and Tiger the dark tabby; 2 bearded dragons, Dante and Lucifer, and a piebald ball python, Gunn.

33. How I got into witchcraft: Cheesily enough, my mom and I used to watch Charmed all the time when I was little... I was always interested in witchy stuff, and in highschool I started looking into Wicca. It was a decent start, but it didn't quite fit. When I finally moved out I started doing more research, and now here we be. I'm still working out kinks (ha), but I do know that spirit work is a thing I enjoy.

34. My practice/path: I am a beginning spirit worker who's still trying to find her feet. I find Celtic and Norse mythologies interesting but I'm still digging.

35. Something that’s constantly on my mind: ....Yes? I tend to have an internal chatter running, and there's almost always parts of songs floating around in there.

36. Three habits I have: I apologize a lot, and I pick at my nails/cuticles too much, and I don't speak up when I sometimes should.

37. My future goals: To have a stable home life and the income to provide for my family. I don't need to be rich, I just want to be able to pay bills and afford food. I also want to iron out my path and maybe pass it on to future children.

38. Something I fantasize about: Having a tiny house. Clearly not as my main house, but I'd use it for witchcraft or reading or crafting. It'd be my space to be me.

39. Favorite Colors: Black, blood red, hunter green

40. What I did yesterday: Worked. So exciting.

41. My talents: Ummmmm math, sarcasm, chainmaille... This is always a hard question.

42. Celebrity crushes: Lizzy Caplan, Russell Crowe, and Matt Gubler, off the top of my head.

43. Myers- Briggs Type: INFP-T

44. Chinese Zodiac: Year of the Rooster

45. Ideal place to live: Somewhere quiet with lots of trees, preferably near mountains. Not isolated, but not on top of neighbors either.

46. My perfect day: A whole day where I can lay around and do nothing, or anything.

47. Where I want to vacation to: What are vacations?

48. Do I want kids: At some point, but not this minute.

49. My favorite thing to learn about/ study: Learning is awesome, in general, but science is cool as shit.

50. A random fact or quirk about me: My typing style changes a bit when I'm angry. Like, I use proper phrasing and grammar, and tend to stop using contractions like don't or can't.

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ringo-ichigo · 7 years

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An Essay Concerning Grammar for the Aspiring Writer

I’ve seen an attitude spreading in the writing community lately. It is degrading on many levels to the writing industry as a whole and particularly to editors. This attitude is the belief that you don’t need to have good grammar to write. It is patently false and I will explain why now.

Firstly, we must examine what writing is meant to do. Writing of any type is a means of communication. We use it to express ideas on the page. Now what does grammar have to do with this? Grammar is the rules of the road so to speak. It is the foundation upon which you build. So shoddy grammar makes for poor communication. Poor grammar can cause your point to become muddled.

Take antecedents. If you say, “Sally hit Jen, and she regretted it,” your reader will become confused. The antecedent for “she” in this case is Jen. However, it doesn’t make sense why Jen would regret being hit. It makes far more sense for Sally to regret the strike, yet what you have written does not communicate that. This is just one example. There are many others such as tense changes making the timing unclear or incorrect forms of words causing issues. These all weaken your writing as you no longer are able to convey your message without confusion. No one wants to be confused and have to reread your writing in order to comprehend it.

Now, I can hear some protesting “But this author says you don’t have to be perfect at grammar to be a writer!” To which I will say, yes, he’s correct in a way. You can break the rules and still be a good writer. Shocking, I know. The issue is that you must know the rules first in order to break them. What do I mean? Simple. In order to use this writing technique, it must be done with a purpose like I just did above with the fragment. I did it to emphasize the word and to be an example. I had a purpose to it. But if you do not understand the rules in the first place, you have no hope of choosing the proper time to break them. Instead of enhancing your writing, poor grammar will weaken your writing as it will come across as ignorance or laziness instead of competence. Not to mention, it will draw the attention to the errors instead of to your skill with the pen. Remember, the nail that sticks out is the one that is beaten down first.

Specifically, run-ons will always weaken your writing, never strengthen it. The problem with run-ons and comma splices is they can always be broken into smaller, stronger sentences. When you break them, they also become easier to read and more impactful to read. No longer does the reader start questioning where the end of this sentence is. He can focus on what is happening instead of the glaring mistake.

Now let’s talk about why you need to fix it now while you’re still newer and earlier in the story rather than later. I share this from personal experience: it is easier to do it now than wait. If you wait, you will only create more work for yourself. Run-ons and comma splices require you to rework sentence structures entirely, forcing you to rewrite entire sections to fix one error sometimes. If you’re particularly egregious on these types of cascading errors, this could entail completely scrapping your work and starting over anew. I’m sure you’re already going, “But… I do this all the time. I’ve written six chapters and they’re all ten pages apiece. That’s sixty pages to rewrite!” Yes, you are correct. It’s a daunting task sometimes to admit that you must scrap everything and start fresh. But it is better and easier to fix these bad habits now when there is less on the page than to plough ahead and create an even larger amount of work.

Stopping and fixing errors now is better not only for the amount of work, but also because you will start to recognize patterns. You may find that you split infinitives constantly or always forget to place commas after certain dependent clauses. This will allow you to course correct early on and keep an eye out in the future for this. This way, when you go through a day’s writing to proofread for major errors, you can also look for these repetitive pitfalls and fix them. Not only that, but if you keep these in mind as you write, you will catch yourself before you commit them and eventually you may even find you have broken the habit. You’ve created less proofreading for yourself, improved your ability to communicate, and saved yourself time all at once. All because you took the time to consider good grammar.

It is time now to shift away from writing as communication, and focus on it more as an industry. Many want to write. Many try to enter this industry; many fail. Writing is a competitive industry. In a way, you are in an arms race of talent. Who can improve their talent and make it stand out the best? Thousands submit their works yearly to publishing companies and yet out of these thousands only a dozen or less actually manage to get published. Why? Simply put, writing is about outshining others and gambling chances. The only way to be noticed is to show the company you are worth investing time and effort into your work. This means you must show promise as a writer.

However, as I showed earlier, poor grammar can get in the way of your talent and communication abilities. You have hamstringed yourself before the race even began. When others have worked hard and put their best forward, you’ve left your glaring grammatical errors in your piece. Yours is difficult to read due to its errors, while the others have polished their pieces to near perfection. Would you rather read something hard to comprehend or something easy to comprehend? I prefer the latter, and most companies will as well. Minor and occasional issues are fine. But every other sentence being a run-on or comma splice? These are unacceptable.

This isn’t the only issue though. If you’re submitting to a publisher, the companies are run by professionals. Poor grammar is not only crippling your writing. It’s actively spitting in the face of a publisher when they see it. Grammatical errors come across as unprofessional. It conveys laziness as it seems you didn’t even try to polish this manuscript or take a second look at it before submitting. Bad grammar can indicate that you either have a lack of beta readers or at best, that you ignore their advice. Considering proper grammar is taught in schools, it also comes across as you being unwilling to learn and grow. Both of these mean that you cannot stomach critique, and thus any advice they might have to make you publishing quality is wasted. If you are too lazy to take it, it does them no good. If you are too stubborn to admit flaws, it does them no good. Why should they bother working with you if you can’t do the basics required of the job? Into the trash with your manuscript.

You don’t get an editor from a company when you submit your piece. You get an editor once the company has decided you are worth the gamble required to sell your book. An editor is there to help you take the final steps to get to a professional quality of manuscript. The company has to sink time and money into preparing your book for publishing. There’s no guarantee it’ll get the money back either. Books flop frequently, and the publisher can only have so many flops before they shut down. Sending in an error-ridden manuscript is like showing up to an interview to be a lawyer’s intern in a bikini and flip flops. You have come to the company poorly prepared and unprofessionally attired. Why should they bother with you? On an aside: you can hire an agent who will do the hard work of shopping for a publisher for you. Unfortunately, they too check your manuscript for grammar issues and may refuse the job if your piece is need of serious grammatical revision.

Not to mention, this attitude of “My future editor will fix it” is disrespectful to editors. They have better things to do than attempt to fix your grammar. Their job description is not “teach poor writers grammar.” That is your English teacher’s job and no one else’s. Your editor will likely have several other projects they’re working on in addition to yours. If they have to spend all their time correcting your grammar because you didn’t bother to put in the extra effort to correct it personally, you are wasting your editor’s time and effort. Your beta can at times fill in the role of grammar teacher, but it should not be his primary role to go through your works and point out your egregious number of run-ons. Finally, it is not your critics’ jobs to teach you how to fix your errors. It is one person’s job to learn how to fix your grammatical errors: yours.

Not to mention an editor won’t coddle your feelings. They will critique you, and it won’t be gentle. You will be expected to take their critiques as a professional and not throw a fit or defend your choice. If you are showing an inability to accept a random stranger’s critique without losing your cool now, how can you think “Oh, I’ll be able to handle it then.” You have none of the tools, none of the experience, none of the grace to handle it any better then because you have refused to develop them now. The time to build up that ability is now when you’re still learning to write, not later down the road. Stop procrastinating and start learning to turn off your insta-rage and listen.

Critique comes whether you are ready or not. If you are posting something to the public for them to read—even a first draft, you are saying to anyone who reads it, “This is what I consider acceptable for public consumption.” This is what you’ve set as your standard of what is your best work to the public’s eye. If that work contains swaths of grammatical errors, the public will comment eventually. It may take time, but someone with a critical eye will find your piece. They will likely comment, and if your grammar is so atrocious that it took labor to understand your writing, they will be nasty about it. They won’t care about your feelings because you have wasted their time and effort and given them nothing for it but a migraine. At that point, it won’t matter how good or bad your story idea is. It will not be able to outshine the errors hanging over it like a fog. Bad grammar will overpower your talent every single time.

With the internet, it connects you not only to possible reviewers but also to agents and editors. They can and will look into your past if you get past initial rejection. Agents will look into your websites. They will find your temper tantrum over those poor critiques. Those will color their opinion on your work because they’ve now seen what you will be like on this project. No one wants to have to fight at work. No one wants to bring that amount of stress into his life. Agents and editors will see your poor behavior and go, “That writer isn’t ready for this emotionally yet.” You will be rejected, and if you’re lucky, they might tell you why.

Lastly, I wish to impart this knowledge to you: loving writing is not enough. It isn’t. You can love writing all you want, but if you cannot listen to criticism and grow from it, you will never improve. You will always be suffocating in the valley instead of joining those on the mountaintop. Those people are the ones who took the time and spent the effort to better their writing through grammar and feedback. You will always be looking up to them and wondering how they are so good and why you’ve plateaued. As someone who has been writing since she was eleven, I can tell you that I’ve had people critique my writing. I didn’t whine about poor reviews either. I understood, even at that age, that I had to listen. I posted my works knowing they might get bad reviews and knew that I would have to grow a thick skin and sift through the ones of “u suk” and “wow that was bad” to find the “Your writing lacks description” types. It doesn’t matter if they aren’t saying how to improve precisely. A critique doesn’t need to say “if you change x, then it will fix y.” A critique can be as simple as “You have an issue with run-ons.” Why? It pointed out the flaw. You can now locate the issue and fix it. Nor is it the critic’s job to teach you grammar. As I pointed out though, if your grammar is unreadable, expect that critique to be harsh enough to remove paint. You offered what could’ve been a five star meal and gave them your half-chewed leftovers instead. And who wouldn’t be angry at that?

Sources/Further Reading

Sources about grammar in general:

http://ask.dailygrammar.com/Why-is-grammar-important.html

https://www.clearvoice.com/blog/yes-good-grammar-still-important-heres/

http://www.witslanguageschool.com/NewsRoom/ArticleView/tabid/180/ArticleId/279/Is-grammar-important.aspx

http://www.startribune.com/top-10-reasons-you-should-learn-to-use-proper-grammar/348141711/

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/william-b-bradshaw/why-grammar-is-important_b_4128521.html

Sources about the writing industry:

https://blog.reedsy.com/perfect-submission-tips-from-a-publisher/

https://thinkwritten.com/6-tips-for-submitting-your-manuscript/

http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/guide-to-literary-agents/pubtips

http://www.ian-irvine.com/on-writing/what-publishers-hate/

#no this won't go under a read more #y'all need to hear this #writing stuff #why your excuses for your poor grammar are bs #grammar geek

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