#ik ik all that abt 'its their first life too' and whatever | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ourloveisforthelovely · 1 year

Text

Sins

Regulus Black AU

Request: i dnt rlly have a fleshed-out idea on this nasty request but what abt a smut fic on regulus but he's a priest. ik its insane but i thought of regulus black/paul atreides wearing the clerical collar thing and oh my god he looks so hot

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader

Rating: Mature- smut, religious smut fic

AO3 Link

A/n: I left his open where I could possibly write future parts if there is any interest.

_____

Everything that Regulus ever did was for a reason…at least that was what he told himself. Growing up as the second son in a home where he was obviously unwanted had led Regulus into thinking that nothing happened by chance. Everything was planned. Everything happened for a reason. Sometimes the reasons weren’t always 100% clear but a reason was, nonetheless, there.

That was what led Regulus to become a priest. It seemed completely illogical at first but after a few years, Regulus felt as if he had made the best choice for himself. He no longer dealt with his horrible parents. For once, he was part of something good. Regulus also, for the first time, felt as though he belonged.

It didn’t take long to get used to the “lifestyle.” In no time at all Regulus fit into the priesthood perfectly. He enjoyed the rigid schedule, the church's various affairs, and the need to feel wanted. Sometimes the feeling “wanted” part involved listening to people’s rather concerning sins they committed or lonely elderly widows who cared too much about their herd of cats. Regulus learned to push his once sarcastic and easily annoyed ways aside and learned to have more empathy for the poor widows. Sometimes as simple as “there there” was all the poor women needed.

All of that changed one Sunday during the month of May. It was a typical Sunday mass. A typical Sunday where Regulus sat listening to his superior read the day’s message. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary as Regulus’ eyes scanned the congregation before him. Regulus had quickly learned who were regulars and who only turned up when they had done something and were in need of God’s forgiveness. For the most part, everyone seemed to be there…and then Regulus’ eyes landed on…you. The new face…The face that had been plaguing Regulus’ dreams for the past 2 weeks…the face that Regulus envisioned running his hands over before kissing the plump lips that had begged for his attention…the fact that he could throw away everything for.

Regulus quickly looked down at his lap before muttering a quick prayer for forgiveness. Human or not, he wasn’t supposed to look at a woman like this. He wasn’t supposed to think of a woman like this. Regulus had pledged his life for something greater. Now here he was acting like even more of a sinner than someone who slept with multiple women a week.

This isn’t supposed to happen. I’m not supposed to be lusting after a woman.

Regulus swallowed his thoughts before bravely looking up at you again.

Father, she is beautiful.

Regulus once again quickly chastised himself for that thought. While he was free to admire his father’s creations that didn’t mean he was supposed to be thinking about having you beneath him.

Until you turned up 2 weeks before, Regulus had always assumed that he was asexual. He had never had much of an interest in sex. In fact, it seemed repulsive to Regulus…then you showed up. You showed up with your parents in a soft light blue dress and bashed the sexual desire right into him.

You had come to visit your parents for a few weeks, from what Regulus had gathered. Your parents were what Regulus considered “A+ Catholics.” They were the type that showed up from whatever even the church had. Both husband and wife were kind, thoughtful, “normal” people. You were the daughter that moved to the US to become a ballerina. Now here you are causing Regulus internal chaos.

All of that led to Regulus’ current predicament…he stood hidden in the shadows watching you. You had come to drop off a box of clothing donations at your mother’s request and Regulus was the guy that had to talk to you.

Over the years, Regulus had learned to put his shy nature to the side and talk to people without much difficulty. That wasn’t the case today, however. Today, Regulus had no idea how to talk, how to think, or what to do. He knew that he would have to face you eventually but for the moment he was fine being in the shadows.

“How am I supposed to talk to the girl that is making me wake up with a raging hard-on? How am I supposed to not focus on her lips, her breasts, her hips…anything… Father, forgive me.”

Regulus silently thought before telling himself to get a grip. You were just a woman and soon enough you would probably be back on your way home. Regulus could forget these feelings…until the next visit. Hopefully, by then, Regulus could have better control of his mind.

Taking a breath, Regulus pushed himself out of the shadows and moved to where you stood.

“You must be Y/n.”

Regulus said in a smooth soft tone. You turned to face him with a kind smile.

“Yes, my mother asked me to drop these things off…father….”

“Black…my name is Regulus Black.”

You again gave him a smile. The young priest before you was definitely pleasing to look at. Pleasing wasn’t even a good enough word. He was downright breathtaking! You swallowed looking him over in hopes that he didn't catch you doing so. Everything about him was perfectly polished…from his perfect curls to his without a wrinkle uniform down to his perfect hands…

Fuck, he is too pretty to be a priest.

You didn’t take back that thought. This man could get any woman that he wanted yet here he was in a position where he couldn't actually do anything…damn shame. You should have been embarrassed or felt bad about these rather unholy thoughts but you weren't.

“Pleasure.”

You replied, keeping your eyes on his. Regulus was quiet a moment as he tried to think of something to say. Staring at your lips or your perfect legs wasn’t going to be helping him any.

“Is your grandmother well? Your mother had mentioned that she was off-color last week.”

Regulus asked. Asking about your grandmother seemed to be the safe option.

“She is feeling much better. Apparently it was a bit of a cold. Mother called me acting as if she was on death’s doorstep and ordered me to come home. Grandmother tends to do this a few times a year. I think she looks for a reason to get everyone in the house.”

A small smile played on Regulus’ lips.

“Your grandmother is amusing. So where are you visiting from again?”

“Las Vegas.”

You replied. Regulus nodded.

“That’s right. Your mother says that you are a ballerina.”

You slightly chuckled at that one. Your mother wished that you were a ballerina.

“Not exactly. That’s what my mother wants me to be. That was what got me to America but I didn’t stick with it. I’m a showgirl.”

Sweet merciful crap!

That was the only thought that Regulus could get through his mind. He couldn't even get a word out. You were a showgirl…probably half-naked at any given time…All Regulus could envision was you dressed in a skimpy bodysuit and high heels.

Father, help me.

“I perform in a casino on the strip. I’m not an exotic dancer or anything. I’m my mother’s disappointment.”

You replied as a soft blush came over your cheeks. Regulus quickly forced himself to start talking.

“No judgment, whatsoever…I’m my mother’s disappointment also so I understand.”

You seemed genuinely surprised with his reaction and Regulus had to congratulate himself on now totally blowing it.

“You’re the first that hasn’t said something judgmental about it. My parents are totally embarrassed.”

“Sometimes parents, even meaning well, don’t have all of the right answers or solutions.”

Regulus said, softly. You brushed a strand of hair from your face sending your sweet scent right in Regulus’ direction. It only took one breath for him to be love drunk from your scent alone.

“You are definitely right about that one.”

20 minutes later, the two of you were still quietly talking. Had the situation been different and he was actually “available” you had the feeling that you would have had the offer of a date…which you would have accepted. You liked Regulus already. Everything about him seemed “perfect.” It wasn’t only his looks but his soft voice and kind demeanor. He was shy…shy and decent.

A decent guy wasn’t something that you came across often. You were used to the kind of guy that made lewd comments to you on your body. Regulus, even though he was looking, didn't go that far. You knew a lot of his was probably because of what he was. He probably had no interest whatsoever. You were just the daughter of a member of the church.

And then it happened…neither Regulus nor yourself was sure who initiated it but the two of you were kissing. This kiss was different from any other kiss that you had shared with someone else. This kiss felt...forbidden, wrong, yet so right at the same time. You sighed as Regulus slowly slipped his tongue into your mouth.

Where did a priest learn to kiss like this?

You thought, savoring the moment until Regulus snapped back into reality and stepped away.

His face instantly went scarlet. Regulus was in an internal panic for a moment. He kissed you! He kissed you as a man was supposed to kiss his wife. Regulus kissed you and he was NEVER supposed to do that.

“I am so sorry…I don’t know what came over me.”

Regulus stammered. He wondered, for a moment, if he were dreaming. Would this be just another dream where you vanished not long after the kiss and he woke up aching?

When you didn’t vanish and he didn't wake up, Regulus knew that he was awake and he had, in fact, kissed you.

“I am in trouble.”

He thought before your soft voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“It's okay…I mean, I’m not complaining. I’m only curious where you learned to kiss like that?”

Regulus shifted uncomfortable a few times before speaking again.

“I had kissed a few girls before I became a priest. Apparently I haven’t forgotten that skill. We shouldn’t be doing this.”

Regulus said. You watched him with a small smile. Your eyes were gently fluttering between his face down to the obviously noticeable hard on in his black pants.

“You don’t seem to want to stop.”

You commented. Regulus closed his eyes before speaking.

“No, I don’t want to but I have a job…a promise I made…I have a purpose.”

Regulus was relived when you didn’t torture him any further. In fact, you seemed almost too understanding.

“As you, father. This has been interesting.”

You replied before moving to leave but was stopped the moment Regulus spun you around and pushed you against the wall. Soft hands locked around your wrists as he raised them above your head.

“Don’t go. You have been teasing me for the past two weeks. Don’t you realize how hard it is to say no?”

Regulus murmured against her lips. He had gone back in for a kiss but decided to savor the moment. From your sweet scent to feeling your body pressed against his, Regulus wanted to make this moment last as long as he possibly could.

“You don’t have to say no. I know you aren’t supposed to do this but what’s one little mess up? We all make them…priest or man on the street…everyone sins.”

You replied, watching the frown on Regulus’ face. He didn’t reply for a moment before standing back up straight. Glancing over his shoulder, Regulus made sure that no one was watching the two of you. He was thankful there was no one but knew that this needed to be taken someplace more “secluded.”

“Come with me.”

Regulus ordered before wrapping his hand around your wrist. He guided you to a quiet office off of the church sanctuary and locked the door as soon as you were inside. Once satisfied that the two of you were indeed alone, Regulus pulled your body back against his.

“You’re right, everyone messes up but I’m not supposed to mess up like this.”

You slipped your hand down to wrap back around his and pulled it up to your clothed breast. Regulus didn’t move at first but after you cleared your throat his hand tightened.

“Something tells me that you want this sin, Father.”

You commented, in a seductive tone. Regulus chuckled before continuing to grope your breast through your dress.

“I suppose that I do.”

He replied, giving you the initiative to continue. You stood on your tiptoes to press a soft kiss to his lips. Kissing your way down his jawline to his neck, you stopped at the collar of his shirt.

“Shall we stop and forget this never happened?”

You asked. Regulus frantically shook his head.

“Don’t stop.”

He whimpered. You stroked one hand down his chest. Stopping at his belt buckle, your eyes rolled back to his, as if asking permission.

“Keep going.”

Regulus ordered, wondering where this sudden surge of bravery came from. Your hand went back to his shirt and gently undid each button. Regulus shrugged his shirt off as your arms wrapped around his neck. He closed his eyes and savored each kiss that you peppered down his chest.

Is this how a woman is supposed to really make a man feel? Is this really so forbidden?

Regulus thought. He could definitely get used to this. The feeling of your hot lips on his skin was indescribable. This was the best feeling that Regulus had ever had…physical attention…this was heaven!

Regulus’ eyes snapped open the moment that you stopped touching him. His mouth dropped when he realized that you were on your knees before him. Your eyes were locked on his face as you moved to cup his erection. When Regulus’ body pulsed under your touch, you couldn’t help the little smirk that formed on your face. It hadn’t taken long at all for your own desire to come roaring back. You sighed feeling the lewd thoughts come right back to your mind.

Damn, he feels huge!

It had been so long since you had actually slept with someone. You were as desperate as Regulus appeared to be for some physical affection. The wetness was starting to slip from your pussy and down your thighs

Regulus quickly reached down and unbuckled his belt. You weren’t moving fast enough for his growing desperation.

“Don’t stop.”

He said, softly. Regulus moved to kick his pants off leaving the only layer of clothing preventing you from getting your hot lips on him was his thin boxers. You didn’t wait a moment longer before pulling the hem of his boxers down and his cock sprang free.

He is huge!

You thought looking at the size of Regulus’ cock. Regulus groaned when you wrapped a hand around his shaft.

“I’ll make you feel good.”

You said in a lust-filled tone before wrapping your mouth around his cock. Regulus’ head fell backward as your tongue drifted over the head and down to the vein on the underside. What you were doing with that sweet yet sinful tongue of yours was enough to make him moan.

You wanted to take more of Regulus into your mouth but were stopped when Regulus reached down and gently pulled you back to your feet.

"Lust is one of the cardinal sins, and now you've made me lust for you. I have wanted you from the moment that you first stepped foot into this church. Now I’m taking what I want…and I don’t care what anyone says. Take your dress off, love.”

You didn’t have to be told twice. Regulus kept his eyes on you as you gently slid your pale pink dress off. The lust once again started flowing through him as the swells of your breasts came to light followed by your bare pussy.

She’s not wearing any knickers!

Regulus’ mouth dropped at that thought. Your bare pussy was one of the most beautiful sights that the young man had ever seen. Forget the immaculate cathedrals and Vatican City…nope, it was your naked body!

“May I touch you?”

Regulus asked. Forget the fact that you had just given him a blow job, he wanted to make damn sure that you wanted him before he even thought of touching you.

“You may.��

You replied, waiting only a moment before Regulus quickly stepped forward. His right hand reached up to cup your breast. His long fingers teased and tweaked your nipples before going back to greedily cupping the whole thing. You sighed enjoying each teasing motion until Regulus picked you up and placed you on the table to your left.

Regulus swallowed before going back in for another small kiss then moved down to your breast. Never in a million years did Regulus ever think that he would be sucking on a woman’s breasts IN THE CHURCH of all places yet here he was. His tongue traced over each dusty bud before gently nibbling. Your body jumped slightly as Regulus went back to suckling.

You had become aware of Regulus’ cock nudging your clit with each of his movements.

“Are you thinking of what you want me to do to you?”

Regulus asked, looking up from his place. Where his sudden surge of bravery and bedroom wisdom came from, he did not know but he was thankful for it.

You nodded, feeling the heat spread through your body. The thought of Regulus’ long, thick cock filling you up with no mercy made you ache even more. He would indeed stretch you and you longed for it. You longed for his cock stretching your tight cunt until you were made just for him. Every sinful thought made you wetter and wetter, and the warm ache was becoming insatiable.

"Do you want me to touch you?"

Regulus asked, his voice deepening.

“Yes, Father.”

You cooed, making Regulus tremble. He chuckled before running a single finger down your wet slit. Regulus swallowed as he watched your juices seep from your body. He gently spread your legs, biting his lip, as your soaking fold spread. Your clit was glistening in the warm lights of the room.

“You’re so wet. All of this from a little making out and a blow job?”

You could only nod a moment before recovering.

“Looking at you caused this too. You’re so handsome…and that body…enough to make me a whore in church.”

Regulus chuckled.

“I suppose that we have something in common”

Regulus moved to kneel between your legs. His gray eyes were now hyper-focused on your wet cunt.

“I want you to kiss me there.”

You said, hoping it sounded more like an order. Something told you that this was Regulus’ first time. As much as you wanted to be in control, you decided to let him call the shots. He deserved a good memory to think back on in the coming days. Regulus licked his lips before moving forward. He placed his tongue on your opening and licked teasingly up to your clit. You gasped under him wanting to buck your hips.

Regulus, meanwhile, was savoring the taste of your juices on his tongue. Moving to suck your clip into his mouth, Regulus slowly pushed two fingers inside. He didn’t want to but his mind went back to the porn that he had watched as a teen. Shamefully, he didn't find it at all appealing then but now…he tried to remember the moves the men in the film used on the women.

When you cried out and your ships bucked upward, Regulus knew that he was doing something right. It only took a few more licks and you were spamming. Your tight pussy clenched around his fingers. You cried out as an orgasm began to rip its way through you. Regulus quickly pulled out his fingers and replaced them with his tongue. He lapped up your juices as if he were a dying man that had found an oasis in a desert. Your pussy wouldn't stop convulsing as he lavished your body with more and more attention.

Moving to his feet, Regulus looked down at you with lust-filled gray eyes. His pupils were blown as he took his cock in one hand and rubbed it over your clit. You gave him a nod before spreading your legs wider.

“Please fuck me.”

Regulus waited a moment before gently shoving his entire cock inside in one thrust. The both of you moaned together at the delicious stretch and burn caused by his cock splitting you open. Regulus started to thrust inside, faster than before, making your breasts bounce each time. The sound of skin slapping together filled the room as Regulus moved to once again hold your hands over your head.

The two of you moaned and whispered little reassurances of just how good this felt. Each movement of his cock made your core ache.

“I’m close.”

Regulus moaned against your mouth. He knew that he wouldn’t last long. Never having sex before made him realize that he had no control over his orgasm. He would come inside of you a lot faster than he wanted to.

“Come, I need to come too.”

You gasped as Regulus’ thrusts began to get sloppy. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath as your orgasm tore through you. Your cunt began to spam around Regulus’ cock pushing him over the edge. His cock jerked before spurting rope after rope of thick cum deep into your pussy.

Neither of you moved for a moment. You were the first to make a move. Reaching up, you pulled Regulus back down for a lazy kiss. He smiled against your mouth, enjoying the feeling of his half-hard cock still being lodged in your body.

“That was amazing.”

You whispered. Regulus moved to say something but stopped suddenly when he heard someone calling his name. The two of you froze for a moment before quickly dressing. Regulus turned his attention back to you.

“Take the second door and take a right, that will get you out of here without anyone noticing.”

You nodded before quickly putting your shoes back on. Turning your attention back to Regulus, you stroked a finger down the bridge of his nose as the door handle began to turn.

“Thank you, Father.”

You whispered before rushing out of the room.

The next morning, you walked back into the church. You were hoping for another repeat of the previous day's events. Maybe this time, it could end with a little more cuddling and a lot less hurrying out.

Regulus looked up when you stepped into the sanctuary where he was quietly getting this ready for the next service. When he didn’t smile or let any emotion come across his face, your heart began to pound. Something about the look on his face made your heart pound.

“Y/n.”

He greeted you with a formal tone. It wasn’t the tone of the man that you had made love with the day before.

“Regulus…It's good to see you…I was wondering if you would…”

Regulus held a hand up.

“Yesterday shouldn’t have happened. It was a mistake and I should have never given into that temptation.”

Regulus felt instantly guilty at the stunned expression on your face. He never wanted to hurt you but he felt as if he had to.

“You seemed to feel differently yesterday.”

You replied, feeling a surge of annoyance come through you.

“Yesterday I was tempted and gave into a sin that I promised to never commit. I’m sorry, Y/n but I have worked too hard to throw everything away for a showgirl. You must understand that I am a priest not some boy toy for you. Perhaps you should…”

You held a hand up.

“You’ve made your feelings clear.”

“Y/n…”

You didn’t wait to give Regulus a second to talk before turning and walking from the church without another word. Maybe you were foolish for hoping that something would come from this. You were foolish for thinking that maybe Regulus would be more than just a priest…maybe it could have been love? Would you ask Regulus to give everything up based on one day of passion-filled romance? No, but what if it could work out?

Not now….

You thought before disappearing down a busy street and out of sight.

______

@amelie-black @justfinishthis @jessyballet @knreidy1 @georgeweasleydumbhoe @criminalyetminimal @jsjcue @ell0ra-br3kk3r @livshifts @mimisparkle12 @teletubiswszpilkach @golddustwomann @siriuslyceleste @bxcndd @stelleduarte @millies0bsimp @coffeeaddictednymph @readtomeregulus @rogue-nyx88 @i-love-scott-mccall @s-we-e-t-t-ea @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @f4iryluvy @buttercup-beeee @panpride @saramaple @missgorldafirst @gugggu6gvai @jag9000 @quinis @haroldpotterson @yousmellllikecaca @mentally-unstable-hoe @goldensunshineshit @aurorasnape12 @ad-astra-again @padf00ts-l0ver @rubyroscoe1 @lucasfilms77 @spideyxalmighty @dumybitch @ravenhood2792 @play-morezeppelin @melaninnbarbie @marichromatic @lostarc24 @un-lovesherself @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @moldy-old-boot @hankypranky @summer-novak @emiwrites3reads @shaylybaby2032 @li0nh34rt @tas898 @untoldshortsofthefandoms @deanwherescas @shitfaceddaniel-blog @sprnaturallover @wontlookaway @mycuddlycorner

231 notes · View notes

sleepy-vix · 2 months

Text

journal/braindump 26/3/24

i hope life gets better soon. school is so miserable and weird and i just constantly feel like my physical shape is blurred and i'm but a a faceless entity drifting through the crowded and sweaty halls. when i speak to people it feels like i have to physically force myself to and i'm always so conscious of the fact that i would really love it if i were alone and not speaking to anybody at all.

i don't feel confident in myself and i feel like this year has passed by way too fast and i feel like just attempting to live feels like a bunch of cold sand is piled in my hands, and like sand does, it slips easily through my fingers and all i can do is watch. i feel so stupid and so naive all the damn time

for a while i had believed that everything would be okay, and then for a while after that i believed that i should kill myself. i'm okay now, i still feel very unsettled and it's like i'm not really me but i feel fine enough to function and i feel fine enough to live and wish to keep on living

i wish to keep on living

tomorrow i will wake up early and i will make myself coffee and i will sit down and read (i've had reading block for 2 days- which seems short but its annoying for me bc i really really want to read but i feel too restless and distracted to). i'll try to be nice to myself and protect my peace really hard and go on walks or something

i find that watching youtube videos where people just sit and talk, or rearrange their house and books, is really calming to me. i can't wait to just sit in front of the tv with a cup of matcha and a box of chocolates and just watching people talk, or watch all the movies ive been meaning to watch for sooo long

autumn is rolling around, and i'm infinitely greatful that it is because i always feel so inspired during this season. autumn makes me want to read, it makes me want to watch more films and eat more food and drink warm drinks that make me feel okay inside.

i also hope to pick up journalling again, but i'm not sure if i will because i don't have my own printer for images and idk what to journal but i have recently tried to just draw pictures- ive recently written journal pages on what i want to read, and also an "about me" page, and hand drew pictures. it's nice, but it doesn't give the same effect as full out journalling (with stickers, images, tape, etc... sigh.). i hope i journal more this holiday nonetheless.

i also hope to read without feeling so much pressure. i usually have no problem with reading whatever i want to read, as i like to think of myself as somebody who isnt easily influenced by other people's views (eg. if someone told me i have to read a certain book, i will consider it but i wont read it unless i want to) , but lately i've been thinking of all the books i want to read this holiday (for me i have autumn break in one week- and autumn break lasts for 2 weeks) and as u can imagine, it is very stressful bc ive somehow fallen into the mindset that i must read ALL of those books before next term or else.

fyi the books comprise of

- the complete collection of jane austen

- the complete collection of sherlock holmes

- the poppy war

- the iliad

- hamlet

- the metamorphosis

soo yeah... especially the first two points are stressing me out haha... im starting the poppy war now but im a little nervous bc ppl keep saying that its VERY gory??? and i usually dont care abt such things but lately my nerves and emotions have been such a wreck that i dont trust myself to read it in a calm manner

i'll try to break free of this toxic reader mindset tho! it would be nice if i could talk to people abt books, so it feels like im engaging with my hobby while not actually having to do the hobby, but nobody ik irl will want to talk abt books as i do

MAN i so badly want to rant abt booktok (ok actually i wont expand on this bc its a very sore point for me in the sense that i might get worked up over it and then feel shit afterwards for displaying sm emotion)

anywaysss next topic

ummm i get my maths result back on thursday and im so fucking scared bc i know i messed up bad for a few questions but im not sure if it was enough to drop me down to a b... idk i REALLY REALLY WANT AN A. like istg my whole self esteem for until the next exams roll around is goijg to be based off my maths result.. fuck im so emotionally immature its laughable

ummm also i have literature class tmr and i love lit class but we have to watch fucking "shes the man" and im sorry but i hate that movie so so much (ive never watched it before but we watched half of it last lesson and it was soo annoying). ughh why is my eng teacher making us watch this 😭😭

also my eng teacher is very blunt and therefore very interesting to talk to so ive been wanting to ask him abt books hes read lately but i CANT bc we have to watch thats tupid fucking movie and also he has to mark papers :( but also like hes the only intellectually stimulating person ik irl so what am i meant to do with all of my buzzing book thoughts ughh (rhetorical question. pls dont answer) :(

hmm what else is there to say

oh yeah last night i had a dream tjat i got a B+ for english and that was... it was like a nightmare im not even kidding. it was such a vivid dream too- everybody else got an A meanwhile i got a B+ (very close to an A) and i was just absolutely shocked and i desperately begged my teacher to give me some extra credit work so i can bump it up to an A-... yeah...

oh but also back to me wanting to have a better life- i think i'll take myself to the thrift more and go out with my friend (yes, singular. theres only one friend that i like hanging out with outside of school 💀) atleast once this holiday... thats what teen girls my age do, right??? haha...

also i want to watch ladybird and the perks of being a wallflower and rewatch little women and dead poets society !

i also might reread solitaire but aghh that makes me stressed out abt reading again... fuck. maybe i should just take a break from reading omfg

i cant wait to wake up early tomorrow and drink coffee though! :)

also i will make more spotify playlists (it makes me rlly happy to) and MAYBE even try cooking????????????? man idfk im desperate okay? feeling suicidal is not fun and i dont want to feel like that again this year. i cant afford thay bc im meant to be an academic weapon :( (lol who am i kidding? im more like an academic victim)

also maybe i will just text my friends more in general. it stresses me out and makes me feel icky but the other day, i had a nice and fun and lighthearted texting convo with one of my class friends and it made me realise that i should probably text people more ...

lol

anyways i think thats all? i think ive gotten everything off my chest for now. i liked doing this actually. maybe i'll do it more often idk 💀💀

hope u guys have a good day 🙏 i dont actually expect anyone to read this but if you did, i hope you have a good day TIMES TWO!

no refunds :}

#sleepy vix #vix's journal

23 notes · View notes

okkos-ferrum · 6 months

Text

lazy drawing of my current brainrot au

with and without silly doodles

that one time i wrote a fanfic but orphaned it teehee

but anyway this is like the one au im obsessed with LIKE THE FACT THIS GUY IS JUST FOREVER STUCK CHASING AFTER CARMEN NO MATTER WHAT SIDE HE IS ON

anyway some misc thoughts since i did write half a story with this au once:

my personal hc is that graham is a 16-17 year old stuck in a 20-something body. since vile took all memories regarding vile+criminal instincts and gray was a criminal as a teen, thats a good chunk of his life he has slivers of (yes ik the show said 1 year but idk the timeline feels wonky to me on how that works also i just think its a funny idea). tho mature/independent even when he was a teen so he is pretty well adjusted, but stuff like driving and talking to older adults still are foreign to him

speaking of driving, chase would try to have graham be a way for him get driving privledges back but obv graham has no clue how to drive on acc of memory and living in a city. so after one disasterous attempt at a driving lesson, both are stuck being taxied everywhere

was too lazy to have drawn it but yeaah his "crackle" side would come out in times of stress/fighting, and chase probably would have to go after him lol. but the further along it goes, "crackle" will become less of a split but a second instinct for graham like how we see in the show.

graham still isnt a fan of nicknames so he doesnt like being called "agent calloway" and insists upon graham

whenever forced to do boring paper work or whatever acme agents do whenever they're not failing to catch carmen, chase just gives graham all the paper work he doesnt like doing since graham doesnt have too much of a problem with boring work (gray def did lol)

graham is the early bird to chase's night owl

graham often worries abt morality of acme due to having a more positive view of carmen (he only joined to get to the bottom between why he remembers carmen and what that has to do with vile) and vocalizes his doubts often to chase. this becomes a issue since chase is a very act first, think never person ... until recently due to the vienna caper

anyway if anyone has any acme gray hcs or stuff ill happily eat them all up

#carmen sandiego 2019 #graham calloway #carmen sandiego #cs crackle #chase devineaux #art

34 notes · View notes

bombshelllblonde · 2 months

Note

hiiihihii!! im backkkk to tell u abt my rdr playthough bc im bored asf haha

¡love this game omg!! the graphics, the story, the details UGH!!!!

hunting is actually so fun for no reason- i bought so many fancy ass guns too 😭

also my play type whenever i play ANY story game thats open world is to do every possible thing every except the actual story so i get a bunch of stuff and then its so muvh easier

in short i have 6000+ dollars 😋

bonus of exploring everything is i got thw white arabian and i love her sm ‼️‼️ i named her pearl and she is my baby

dress up is my seconf favorite hobby

my fav outfit rn is the red vest w the floral pattern on the front (i forget what its called) n the black french dress shirt underneath + the bison necklace talisman

(also arthur w medium-long length hair n short facial hair>>>)

this game is so detail oriented, its kind of insane- im doing a high honor run atm, and i came across the blind beggar for the third (?) time and the blind guy said and i quote

"that is which killing you will finally help you, friend- to hear and see."

is this foreshadowing this feels like foreshadowing

also ik arthurs dies (bc of tiktok edits and fics, they artists in this fandom is amazing!!!) and im not prepared at all 😭 im going to procrastinate so bad

ALSO CHARLES DESERVES SO SO MUCH I LOVE HIM

yk the hole lil speech he has at the campfire yk "most human beings seem to know why they were born but, for me- its seems i was just mean ton hurt and suffer myself" that one

im bawling istg if he doesnt get a good ending im going to be writing a formal complaint to rockstar games

anyways

tw opinions (ik bro its crazy to have opinions in 2024 whattt no wayy)

ive gotten to the point in playing where im in ch 3, and the only way i can progress the actual story is to help micah rob a stagecoach or whatever

micah is a bastard and i dont like him

him as a character is rlly well written and awesome but,,,,,hes,,,slimy,,and i hate him,,,,so he can wait for a little longer ☺️

my favorite characters rn in no particular order is

arthur (obviously) , charles , sean , javier , tilly , marybeth , and kieran

my pookies ‼️‼️

moving on im so sorry this is so so long 😭 idk anyone who likes rdr irl lmao

anyway hope u have a nice day and no wolves attack you and spoke ur horse who bucks you off a cliff

(in rdr btw)

((true story also))

yo, having 6k in chapter 3 is amazing. good for you!

my first playthrough i got the white arabian and i named her Lemoyne Tree as a tribute to the state of Lemoyne and my favorite post malone song Lemon Tree. But she always got super dirty so i then went to the lake next to Strawberry and tamed the red chestnut arabian. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that one, she's gorgeous and arthur always gets that one when i play it. my beautiful baby girl Diablo <3

also yes. heckin FUCK MICAH BELL. even from the beginning he's been a slime ball. hate that man <3

i won't go too far, but just keep yourself high honor towards the end of the game. you need that to be your first ending. :')

Charles deserves the absolute world. just listening to him speak and hanging out with him at camp, and the missions you continue on to do with him throughout the game are so much fun. charles is someone i wish i could have in my real life because he seems like he would be the best person to speak to and hang out with. he is so lovely and down to earth. even arthur says it a couple times throughout the game. charles gets a good ending i promise.

my top blorbos are Arthur, Dutch, Charles, Hosea, and Josiah Trelawny my absolute beloved <33333 just wait until you go on the mission with Charles to find trelawny. one of my favorite missions ever ever ever ever!!

a lot of people dislike dutch, but i love him so much. he is my actual father. i love him.

i also hate john. let me know how you feel about that little greasy weasel of a man. :)))

i'm so so so glad you're having fun and i am very invested, so please continue to keep me updated on what ur doing because i need to live vicariously through you. if i could erase my entire mind and replay the game over and over again for the first time, i totally would

#arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #rdr 2 #dutch van der linde #hosea matthews #red dead redemption memes

10 notes · View notes

neopuppy · 3 months

Note

i do think infantilizing asian men is a big problem in the kpopper community but i think a big reason as to why people still see dream as “cotton candy boys” is because we remember when they were 14-16 years old. i was there when they debuted and i had already been in the kpop community for a few years. im an 00 baby and im asian too and i remember seeing dream like “wow these dudes are so young” because i was a big exo l and army and they were grown ass men. at the time, it was very odd for ALL the members of an idol group to debut at THAT young of age so i wasnt used to seeing these dudes my age that looked so young. plus it doesn’t help we kinda watched them grow up and theres so much content from when they were kids. kinda like how we view disney actors that we grew up with that never really shook the disney persona in our heads. i’m not excusing this mindset because i think it’s flawed but i think that’s why you see people say stuff like that about dream.

ive been an nctzen since the 7th sense and it took me a long time to see the sex appeal in dream because i still saw them as the hoverboarding nerds, even though im the exact same age as half of them (which i realize now that i was the problem)

all this to say, it’s still a big problem that people infantilize these asian men (especially) in their 20s but i think this mindset is why people (esp seasoned kpoppers that have been in the community for years) might say these things about dream more

ok so your timeline is the exact same as mine, except I watched Chewing Gum when it came out and said nahhhhhh, no thanks, bc even back then I was like this is too weird. even now I skip the video if it comes on my shuffle.

(I ended up ranting, sorry)..

BUT I’ve said this before many times, its sad how much more active even the nct dream smut community was on here like before I started posting bc when I first came on here looking for something to read during lockdown I saw so many fics from like 2017-2019 and they had TONS of engagement like…..5000+ notes for everything I was like????? werent some of these dudes like FRESHLY 18?🥴

this is personal but in general im having a bad week and I was listening to Jungkook yesterday and randomly teared up thinking abt everything he’s probably had to go thru chsjxjjsjx. bc when I got into bts I think JK was still 17 going onto 18 and the amount of sexualization I saw online was INSANE. it only got worse with time, but literally it back tracks as far as pre-debut and upsets me so fucking muche xnnejc im very sensitive abt it because I developed very early on in life and had grown men speaking to me inappropriately ever since a 1 digit age which I think really fucked up my head and made me internalize shit but like thats WHY I feel this way abt all of this

bc it took me a long time to become comfortable with my own body and expressing myself sexually bc I was over-sexualized from a very young age which made me regress where as I feel like kpop idols almost do the opposite at times……like they’re repressed to act like children well into their 20’s and end up ripping their clothes off as soon as they can.

JK is the best example of this for me bc I have followed him in bts since he was a minor? where as Dream I didn’t follow much prior to Ridin’ because their sound wasn’t my vibe(I still prefer 127’s music now). like thats why I was getting sad bc I was like mannnn JK’s sooooooo insanely talented and instead of letting him bloom artistically Bang PD let Scooter Braun paint him out to be this overly horny fuck boy. which is fine, whatever, its just music and he said multiple times its not personal for him at all but just cndjxjd ik he had to deal with so much at such a young age even some nasty ass old man telling him how pretty he was on tv when he was 15 saying JK his TYPE😐 I HATE THINKING ABT IT NDJEJXJDJD

its a double ended sword like being overly sexualized too young or infantilized as a whole adult, both are topics that piss me off. from one spectrum there is me who really clings to my childhood bc I feel like I was never treated or seen as a child bc of my rush thru puberty vs my friend who is super petite and has always wanted to be seen as womanly/adult bc she can pass for a kid. we had this discussion one day and I was like holy shit this is internalized trauma…

and the Asian men being infantilized thing is a WHOLE other topic because YES, and not just that but if I had a dollar for every time kpop fans call a male idol gay I’d be a millionaire. this also stems back to fetishization bc you see a hairless man with makeup and nice hair acting cute and you’re like well yes, twink, obviously

crazy when you realize Korea is one of the most misogynistic countries, but yeah gay ass twink, all of them, and stupid! THEY’VE NEVER SEEN A VAGINA IN THEIR LIFE! according to a lot of fans

I feel like I can’t say much on this subject bc you know….I write porn abt kpop idols but I’d rather see them as the adults they are instead of making goo goo ga ga edits of men in their mid-late 20’s who have been able to drink alcohol legally since 18 and most likely have been ran through more times than I can count on 2 hands

as a psa, its likely there are gay idols, and even some who haven’t had sex, but its just as likely that there are heterosexual idols who have sex and even have significant others. they’re human like the rest of us and get horny as often as any average person would I imagine

two sides to every coin right.

like yes I get why some may see Dreamies as youngins still but like get the fuck over it omg LMAOOO SORRY BUT LIKE????? THOSE ARE MEN, GROWN MEN!!!! if you don’t see it that way, go look at a 4th gen group and then come back, it’ll hit cnennxnsnsz

#asks

14 notes · View notes

valdrift · 9 months

Note

Hey since I also have threeleaves brainrot: do u have any opinions on how Kingsley's style might adapt as he goes on? Since when he was "born" he hated Molly's coat and thought it was tacky. But now seems to be leaning into the big sparkly red coat and tall boots look?

On the other hand, the official art seems to suggest that he had Molly's face tattoos removed. Which I get, but.... still makes me sad 💔😭😭😭

i always ascribe to the idea of king being the reconciliation of lucien and molly's souls a la tneol so i imagine his sense of style to be a healthy mix of both. I can see why he, at first, found mollys fashion distasteful seeing as he was very much Not molly and didn't want tht identity shoved onto him. But i can imagine the more comfortable he gets with his life and sense of self, he'd loosen up more i guess on past opinions. The 3leaves have a flair for the dramatics after all, so while he may not be into the bright colors like molly, he'd have his own way of making a statement. Also ik u only asked abt Kingsley but ill get into my 3leaf fashion his bc they're all so different and i love them <3

Lucien: ik the book said he liked those rlly deep cut shirts but tbh i think thts the most Risqué hell get lol. Lucien to me has a very modest fashion sense, as in function is more important than looks, and hes fine with it so long as its durable. He favors darker colors and prefers looser easy to move in clothes tht can protect him from the elements. Maybe its the former urchin kid in him tht wanted to survive the run and not draw too much attention to himself 🤔 Anyways i also personally think he wld rlly like skirts and dresses (this has nothing to do with my latest Lucy drawing but alas). As always, performance is a big theme for him, so i think he wld have clung to the idea of looking intimidating and wld have a hard time letting go of the specific image of what being the nonagon looks like in bis head. But without the weight of tht title and maintaining appearances, as well as getting to actually explore his gender and presentation, i think lucien wld rlly enjoy nice flowy skirts and dresses. Still very low key with little to no jewelry tho

Molly: what is there to say tht has not been said abt our favorite tacky tiefling!!! His appearance is like the picture definition of hedonism, getting intricate tattoos and wearing the brightest most garish clothes in existence. Regardless, i think its touching how he woke up with no memories knowing he had a dark past, and deciding to make his body his own. A complete 180 from lucien in terms of appearance and thts exactly how molly wld have wanted it. In regards to gender presentation, he wldnt have the same hangups lucien wld so molly did whatever the hell he wanted and he looked good doing it!!

Kingsley: oh man ok. So he doesn't have the same taste as molly regarding bright and tacky clothes but hes not like lucien who's a function over fashion person. Instead, he makes a statement in a way thts a good mix of both. Whereas lucien is more rough around the edges and molly is bright and colorful, king is more sleek i think. Black, gold, silver, hints of red or cool tones. Dark coats befitting of a pirate captain, tasteful jewelry, etc. Dramatic in his own way, goth instead of glam rock. Maybe in the beginning he kept it plain to figure put what he liked without the burden of other identities being pushed onto him but after, he develops a look thts very much himself :)

#woops didnt mean to write sm abt lucien on a kingsley ask but what can i say hes my favoritest worstie #mighr as well tag them ig .typed too much at 1 am 😑😴#lucien tavelle #mollymauk tealeaf #kingsley tealeaf

17 notes · View notes

theclosetedskeleton · 8 months

Note

please infodump about your damn skippy oc please i beg

YAHSHANXNABX YAYAYAYAY

okay here we go

I dont have an uhh actual name for the oc (yet), ill try to think about one soon. Anyways

He's (obv referring to my damn skippy oc) energetic and constantly moving around the place. Damn skippy oc try to sit still in one place (failed INSTANTLY).

+ "Naturally curious (Good example for this idea would be the song "rainwater") and lives in their daydreams" kinda person. (When robots attack) (ik theres the line 'how i wish this was just a dream' in when robots attack, but I imagine the scenario wasnt a "daydream" he has and moreso of an actual dream that feels real.)

[going back to the last part, I imagine the entire damn skippy album is just the oc going on these silly tangents abt their life + daydreams (maybe minus "ode to crayola", as I already have a diff oc for that song alone)]

Pronouns - He/they (Was originally gonna go with he/him but i like the concept of "he/they DS oc better)

Physical features !!!

DS has these swirls in their eyes, like the back of the album cover. Confession - Every now and then i think the pinkish color makes him look high but then i add the blue and im like "nuh uh" HWKAN 😭

They also have these star pupils, I added the idea when i first designed the oc back in jan-feb time period. Btw these features arent like contact lenses those are his actual eyes :3 I imagine my DS oc to be like... 80% human and the 20% is uhhh I dont know that answer

Along with this, theres like this ink or whatever that seeps from his eyes. Theyre not tears or anything, no matter what they do to remove the ink it just comes back eventually, but the ink only gets down to a certain point to where it just stops flowing.

small features !!! he wears a lot of stickers on their face, mainly because the stickers are really cool

LOTS of kandi bracelets/wrist bands/spiked bracelets. There probably was a time where he was a scene kid, and they still take inspiration from that 2000s/2010s scene time period.

[side note!!! this doesnt relate with my oc 100% but

on the topic of the kandi bracelets part, DS makes a lot of kandi bracelets for HTTJB (another oc based on a LD album) (The hip to the javabean oc isnt my oc, its @shrimpmcbites 's). Occasionally DS will just give HTTJB a new kandi bracelet for no apparent reason. ]

LOTS OF COLOR !!!!!!!! DS constantly wears so many things dealing with color and bright things, like as if those saturated bright colorful photos were a person.

DS IS TRANS!!!!!! trans ftm to be specific. fuck making all my characters different.... i WILL project on every one of them

(on a specific note, DS hasnt gotten any sort of medical transition like HRT or top/bottom surgery)

Projecting on my oc once more !!!! but fuck i dont care - DS is aroace and queerplatonic !!!! + DS is also in a qpr W/HTTJB because me and @shrimpmcbites said so muahaha (we are both projecting...)

(Geeks is love is abt them !!!!! the line "I don't think they'll ever get the groovy standards that we set for love" fits oh so perfectly with the fact the DS and HTTJB oc's are in a qpr)

Okay now for a bit of silly facts

Favorite drink - Tea !!! of any kind !!!! or maybe koolaid or the type of water drinks where you pour the syrup of a flavor in water and you get juice if yk what im talking abt

Favorite food - I imagine DS to really like smores. especially the ones with too much extra stuff and too many marshmellows and chocolate

Favorite type of music - anything DS can dance to. or just move around to. He doesn't really like sad songs.

Favorite color -Probably all of them but mainly the really saturated BRIGHT colors

Hobbies -

Dancing (not really good at it, + is not a professional, they just do it bc he NEEDS a way to channel all of the internal energy they have.),

Reading (only comic/graphic novels, anything else and he just loses attention)

KANDI - They has SO. MANY. KANDI. STUFF. AT HOME. probably even a few pieces of kandi clothing because of all of the extra time they have on his hands.

Video games - Esp those really retro ones, but he'll play almost any video game that goes in their hands

HOLY SHIT THIS POST IS SO LONG. idk what else to add but if anyone reads this till the end and has any input about the oc send me an ask about it because my DS oc (and @shrimpmcbites 's HTTJB oc) has been CLAWING at my brain and i need people to talk to me about them

#closet rambles again on tumblr #oc info #Damn skippy #Lemon demon #Lemon demon oc

7 notes · View notes

definitelynotnia · 4 months

Text

sorry i have to rant or i will cry i hate when im so angry that the anger comes out as tears

tw: random guy being a general asshole abt lgbtq and trans ppl so if you dont wanna deal with that today, cz ik there's already enough hate literally everywhere online, then please save yourself from this burden and move along, i hope u have a nice day bcz if i cant then someone should

i just spent my whole afternoon arguing with this guy- it was such a waste of my time i haven't slept properly last night and i wanted to take a nap but my nap time is GONE i hate this i told him im done with this conversation and that i dont give a shit about him enough to want to educate him on things and have him change his opinion i TOLD HIM IM DONE i told him that he can keep his opinion shoved up his ass and as long as he doesn't bully people i dont give a shit i was READY TO GO TAKE MY NAP but nooo this bitch is like "just say you've run out of valid points" like BITCH NO.

i can't have valid points to counter you with because all the points ur giving me are utter bullshit like how the fuck am i supposed to reply to "ppl assigned male at birth wearing skirts and make up is worse than war" like WHAT???? DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF??? ARE YOU INSANE? what the fuck am i supposed to respond to that with? except that trans people aren't hurting anyone and war is, and he's like "at least war can be contained, these people are spoiling the mentality of the youth" like YOU ARE THE SPOILED YOUTH not the other way around, im like listen if you were really pressed about children and how trans inclusivity impacts children then you would have at least read more about that but if your first point is only "they're doing surgery on children" then clearly you have not even done as much as a simple google search so we both know that you just heard that in some random reel and went with it and you dont give two shits about the supposed 'children being made to undergo surgery', which they're not, and all you actually care about is looking cool and edgy by hating on the lgbtq community because thats whats in trend right now in india. he's like these people are too privileged why cant they just shut up and enjoy life they are rich like first of all rich people can have problems too??? also being able to afford therapy and gender affirming care does not equal to rich thats like saying if someone in ur family has any chronic illness ur automatically rich like ??? also poor people are trans too? and im so sick of these ppl thinking being trans is just an american thing or a first world problem like brother no? you are literally living in india trans people are mentioned in the FUCKING SCRIPTURES are u KIDDING ME? being trans is not a new sudden occurence its been there for longer than you have. like literally after 2 hours of conversation the only points he could think of to hate on lgbtq for no reason is

they are rich and privileged so they shouldnt have problems

if they have a problem with their gender they should keep it to themself and not fight it (??????)

they are running from their problems (they are literally solving the problem thats the part which everyone is mad abt its when trans people try to solve the problem by being okay with expressing themselves freely and to counter i said that even alcoholics are running from their problems ive never seen any of u andrew tate cocksuckers ever make a "joke" bullying alcoholics he's like thats different like literally all his "points" are him just saying whatever and then if u try to explain it with logic he'll be like no but thats ok bcz i said so and this is wrong bcz i said so like fuck you dude)

they shouldnt have rallies and stuff because there's more important things like war that the government should focus on (he was the one who said "war is a beacon of peace there cannot be peace without war" when i had first mentioned that its ironic that out of all the bad things happening in the world rn LIKE war the biggest thing he's worried about is a "man" wearing a skirt but ok sure now all of a sudden war is a big boo boo and we should all be focusing on that, so basically when he wants to hate on ppl war is irrelevant but when a marginalised group wants to fight for their rights that time war is the most important point and no one elses suffering is valid bcz there is war)

it is spoiling today's youth (im not even gonna talk about this because i do not see how people living their lives and just existing is considered "spoiled" and "corrupt" but people regularly hating on, bullying and degrading a whole ass community just because they are uneducated swines lacking critical thinking skills and a spine that saw some 'famous' youtuber or influencer or wtv or maybe a reel with 'dark humor' dissing on lgbtq and pronouns and 'blue haired girls' and now they thing they're oh so cool and edgy and dIfFeReNt and "not like those woke snowflakes" just cz they degrade and bully a whole community of people every chance they get)

im so done im SO DONE with this bullshit its EVERYWHERE its a trend now to be hateful and mean and an asshole to anyone who isnt "normal" according to heteronormative standards. i understand not having an opinion, to some extent ok i get it you're young you don't need to be involved in this yet but no, they want to have an opinion but they will do no research they physically shudder at the thought of reading a book and god forbid they actually google up a trustworthy article to confirm some of the bullshit they believe they will do none of this but they will scream and shout about how lgbtq is the problem and magically that is the only "social issue" they care about and they care soo vehemently apparently that they have to post about it and make dArK jOkEs about it and use slurs and degrade them every chance they get because THEY are harmful yes sure you who are actively spreading hate are the angelic saviours of society and a community of people JUST EXISTING are the ones that are harmful, right.

#im done im so done i cannot anymore #if one more person puts a story or comes to me making fun of lgbtq calling them mentally retarded or wtv the fuck and expect me to be like #haha so funni lol u are so comedi i am going to block them from every single social media i have them on #i am done.

6 notes · View notes

henrioo · 2 months

Note

Hiii, since i’ve nothing to do and I love rambling, I’ll ramble abt how much I appreciate your writing.

When i first installed tumblr, i was already attacked by she/hers in fanfics (😥😥). Tbh i was tired of fem blogs, thinking everyone is fem or idk . You’re the first one piece blog i actually like. Whenever i want, i can just re-read your blog’s fics and others. I really like your account !! ^_^ finally a good one piece blog, the others aren’t really safe tbh. Like those who wrotes ‘gn!reader’ but hit you with ‘good girl, wife etc..’ or those who feminized ftm!reader.. like tf… anyway live laugh love your account (its really entertaining !!)

— SOSO’S

YES I LOVE RAMBLING TOO THIS BLOG HAVE MORE ME RUMBLING THAN STORIES PLEASE RUMBLE WITH ME

Yeah ik, honestly i know Tumblr before I even think about myself like a trans person, so having fem content didn't bother me at all at that time

But when I got back here last year I realized how much fem content exists, but I was like "nha it's fine, we still have some gn content I will be fine"

Spoilers, I didn't get fine

It's so rare to have real neutral content in gn content that this makes me so frustrated that when I started my blog, I always got this on writing "if you can't find or it's not good enough for you, then make yourself"

And I did and I went pretty fine I guess, at least my gn are really neutral I hope hahaha

But day by day got me more and more frustrated and my dysphoria was getting worse because I was missing having some real valid male content

I need my favorite look at me and say "I love you like a man, like a boyfriend, I want you to be my husband, the father of my children"

I need to read that they also see me like a man.

And then I went to look for male content and well, things can really be worse the deeper you go

And then I realized that male content here is a totally red flag and basically a big NO

Amab or afab doesn't matter, they all gonna treat you like a super shy delicate boy

You're always gonna be the bottom, and if you are the top then the bottom will be a FTM reader (why can't you top a cis man?)

You're always gonna be feminized and like panties and pink and nicknames to shame you like princess and whatever

The worst for me was seeing that most of that stuff was writing of male writers

Like, you are hating your own identity?

I'm sorry if you like to be some weird femboy that likes to be treated like a woman and a slave

But I'm sure most masc people (cis, trans, NB etc) genuinely don't like that

It's totally fine you wanting someone to validate your gender, regardless of the gender okay? That's why cis women like to be called princess and stuff

But seriously, this just makes my dysphoria really bad because omg can't nobody write just a normal male reader? It's not an alien, we are human like everyone, it's like they write about male like they never interacted with a man in their whole life?

Do you guys know that romantic and platonic relationship between gays are basically the same as a couple of lesbian or straight people? Right? We are not different from anyone

Ofc gays have their own fights but like??? Are you getting? Idk how to explain better

Then again the hit "make yourself" and that's what I'm making lol, I have a lot of hiatus due my mental condition, I'm not gonna lie about that

But I'm always doing my best to have more stories here, maybe I won't give you guys new stories every week, maybe I will take some good months on the ask, maybe I will disappear and get back

But I'm not planning on giving up on this project so soon

Writing male stories is healing not only you guys, but me, really healing me

And that's why I won't stop, I want to write about a lot of things, some stories I will talk about more serious things like dysphoria or homophobia because I think it is fair we have good stories talking about this

I want to write about comfort, about angst, about grief, about transitions, I want to write about children readers and happy families

I want to write for FTM boys, NB boys, cis boys

I want platonic, romantic, nsfw, angst, long, short

I want all

Because I think we deserve that, and if I have the power to do then I will do

And see that not only me is being healed by my blog is always what give more determination to continue

Like I said, maybe not as fast as we all wanted, but I'm promise I'm here and I'm not leaving soon

Okay I talked a lot lol hahahah well thanks for that

I'm always happy to see you guys enjoying here, it really makes me happy, so make yourself welcome and enjoy!

#henri talk

2 notes · View notes

lqfiles · 3 months

Note

heyy uhm thjs is my first time sending these kind of things and i js wanted to say that i really really reallyyyyy love stg, i've been reading it since chapter 10ish? but started following at about 20ish (srry abt that) and ik it doesn't mean much coming from an anonymous person but it makes me very happy (and PROUD) to see how many people are reading it now and how many asks you get :) overall im js immensely proud of you and your work

again ik it does not mean much coming from an anon but still you have no idea how great my days get when i get notis from your acc replying to questions or anons (cause i've figured it usually mean that you'll upload another chapter) ANYWAYS i've been struggling a LOT these few months, and one of the only things I seriously look up to is stg, so again, thank you SO so much :(

you don't even have to reply to this or anything (bc tbh i wouldn't know what to say either lol) but i would appreciate it if you could at least read it and know just how much power your ideas and writing actually have <3

also not sure if 50 was the last chapter (?) i was planning on writing smth like this when the smau ended BUT ITS WHATEVER RLLY !! anyways i will never be able to thank u enough for taking your time in this and genuinely putting effort and feelings on it, you are amazing !!

also im from Chile so idk if i made any mistakes while typing this… whatever i'll make sure to support you through each and every work of yours from now on ! take care <333

(god this was a little long IM SORRY again you don't have to reply to this i js hope u read it and know just how capable and dedicated you are and how happy you can make other people iwnsnsks <3)

anon you actually made me tear up wthh :(( LONG ANSWER INCOMING……

i think this is the best thing i could’ve been told and hear, and the fact that it’s anonymous doesn’t change how much your words mean to me trust me. i honestly wasn’t sure how commited i’d be to this smau since i never have managed to finish a slow burn ideas because of the lack of creativity. but i think the fact that you still kept up from such an early chapter (when i remember pointing out that i’m really just writing this without a full plot yet multiple times) is endearing and don’t worry, i don’t take it to heart that you didn’t follow me immediately loll, for all you knew this could’ve been the shittiest piece of writing and then you’d have to just unfollow lmaooo. also i think it’s cute that those who have kept up from early on until now have witnessed with me the growth of this series and the support on it 😭 i remember when 70 notes in day alone excited me and would get giddy by getting a SINGLE ask hsjdjdjd and now i’ve had chapters with 400 notes and get 10+ asks ??? i didn’t even really dwell on it that you guys who have been ogs too have seen the growth too :(( i think it’s quite funny, because last year, i rarely got any asks and barely checked on this account except for posting some drabbles here and there, and didn’t even speak to any mutuals, i remember i told myself i’d keep this a writing blog only without interacting much at all but ever since stg i’m surprised by the amount of mutuals i’ve made and how many people are really perceiving my account AND how interactive i’ve been even tho i’d usually log out immediately after posting something lmaoo! it’s cute and i appreciate you for sticking around and being proud of me !!! it honestly catches me off guard when some of you say that stg is the highlight of your day or how much you love it or how it has inspired you to start writing yourself, because i can’t comprehend myself being influential like that at ALL 😭😭 but at the same time it warms my heart every time because it makes me feel useful…? i like seeing people happy and feel inspired by something i did so seeing people be so happy of a mere chapter really does make me smile :) i’m sorry to hear that life is hard on you, but again it means a lot to me knowing stg DOES affect your day positively (can’t believe we’ll be reaching the end tho..)

this wasn’t the last chapter, i got two more and then some bonus chapters so i hope you’ll enjoy them and my future work as well anon <33 i’ll continue to pour my effort and feelings into my writing love you and thank you for making time to write this !!!

#asks.#from anon #( score that goal! )#i’ll cherish this message tysm!#also i think it’s funny how you’ve picked up on the #‘when lqfiles answers asks a new chapter is coming’ LMAOOO i was wondering if anyone else noticed that

5 notes · View notes

shytastemakerthing · 10 months

Note

hii!! U seem so cool- but anyway,, could i get a twisted wonderland match up? My grammar kinda sucks and my auto corrects off so😭

I would like for it to be more romantic, if thats ok! Also pls dont match me up with any of the 1st years since i would honestly just adopt them in twst😭

Sooo im an enfp 7w6, scorpio, green flag.. Yeahhh

But other than that,, (about to write a whole essay abt my personality) what abt my personality?

Soo im honestly kindaa uhm,, goldfish-like; i have a crap memory. and whenever in a serious situation, one where you need to stay on guard, i instantly calm down after someone cracks a joke and forget abt the whole situation.. So bcuz of that i get called "the goldfish of (gc name)" 🥲

But im really motherly and caring! I always take care of my loved ones like a nurse, so pretty much- im my friends personal nurse AND doctor (as someone who startes studying abt medical stuff when i was like 10,, young, ik) i also take care of stray animals whenever i get the chance. feeding them, taking care of their wounds, whatever! Im a good balance of childish and mature, though i fall more on the childish side! I honestly give out 'sad, wet cat' vibes at first, since i mostly spend time alone, sulking abt being alone, reading in the library alone.. but im the total opposite! Honestly kinda weird but in a good way? Super kind, and generous, and sympathetic, i always consider other peoples feelings first ofc! Honestly kind of a people pleaser🥲 softhearted person with anger issues huhu.. Also keyword 'with anger issues' because i can and will beat someone up who did one simple thing to make me mad, even if theyre like 6'2 IDGAF FIGHT ME IM 5'10 ITS NOT MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE🙄🙄 veryvery energetic or the opposite, depends. havent slept for like 2 weeks straight😇

Now I'll just say the exact words my friends said when i asked them what they thought of me-

"funny, cute, and she lavs astronomy ahhajaja" "ure the friend whos effortlessly funny but gay /j but srsly youre the friend whos funny but super girlboss whenever there are fights and uses emojis every sentence they send" "the fish i ate for dinner" "cute nmn, and fun too, but annoying sometimes😒" "youre literally just like your father but as a girl,, stubborn, charming, ignorant, brave.. And you even have the same facial feaures." "Soft girl vibes" "VOODOO DOLL SELLER IKAW"

And for my hobbies.. I have a lot tbh LEMME JUST-

Astronomy; stargazing.. IT GIVES ME SO MUCH PEACE OMG

Exploring; going to abandoned and apparently 'haunted' places brings me so much joy somehow

Dancing; practicing ballet but my friends drag me to learn the choreo of a kpop song😭

Singing; opera😻

Sports; BADMINTON, BASKETBALL, SOCCER, VOLLEYBALSLSMSJKAHSKXVJSDJ LOBVE THIS

Gaming; tbh i rarely do it anymore😭

Collecting; plushies, seashells, etc..

Art; SCULPTING, DIGITAL, TRADITIONAL, MUSIC, ETC. I CAN DO IT ALL OMGG

Thats all i think😔 I dont wanna waste ur time so thank you huhuu BYEE HAVE A GREAT YEAR MWAMWA

-lav hoshii

Hello and thank you for your request! Honestly I had a lot of fun reading over this and I believe I have just the guy for you so here we go!

I match you with.......

Floyd Leech

🦐 You two bounce off of each other so freaking much that it is insane. At this point, you're the most interesting person in his life and he isn't planning on letting you go ANY time soon and that's a fact.

🦐 Floyd is someone who butts heads with a lot of people, and I mean, a LOT of people. He's not one to shy away from a fight, even in those ones where he is clearly out numbered. It's more fun for him. But what he really loves is how you patch him up after each and every one. Sure, you badger him about all of these fights, but it's only because you care about him, and as you place a kiss to each wrap and bandaid, he can only hopelessly grin at you...... he is smitten.

🦐 Your memory isn't the best, and while Floyd seems like the aloof type, he is actually very smart, very perceptive, and has an excellent memory. He will remember anything you can't and it greatly comes in handy when needed.

🦐 Being with Floyd, also means you will be seeing a lot of Jade. Sorry, they're a two for one package deal (Azul's words). And while his twin was highly skeptical of you at first (when is he not skeptical of someone?), just seeing you with Floyd, and all the shenanigans you both get up too and how you always take care of him, you're basically family now at this point.

🦐 He is in the basketball club! Which is perfect for you! You love basketball and you two have player 1v1 quite a lot. Just be careful, because he can and WILL get competitive. Also, if you wear his jersey to his games, he has this derpy smile the entire time and will be showing off just for you. He turns into an absolute beast on the court. You're now the good luck charm of the NRC basketball team and Ace and Jamil always make sure you're there.

🦐 He finds out early on in the relationship about your habit of collecting sea shells. Now, because of him that collection has expanded a great amount. Look, you're dating a merman, he can and will be going under the water to gather the best and biggest shells thay he can find for your ccollection. But your personal favorite is a little cream colored chipped clam shell. He brought that one back after finding it randomly on a walk and it is now the most cherished one in the collection.

🦐 The way your mood fluctuates matches how his does, and while it annoyed him at first (like, is this how Jade and Azul feel when his does that?), he was able to quickly find out what can set you off or change your mood and is able to quickly adjust accordingly. Though he will admit that you look pretty hot when you get angry and tackle someone twice your size.

🦐 He would absolutely love to go exploring with you. It can be boring, it can be dangerous, so much could happen that you just don't know and that's what makes it exciting! If you ever get bored of looking at the supposedly haunted houses, he'll happily supply a breathing potion and he can show you some really cool shipwrecks!

🦐 Overall, a relationship with the reckless eel with legs is nothing short of an adventure. You know you'll never be bored, he loves how considerate you are with him and how you take care of him. And Azul and Jade are beyond thankful that you can actually get him to focus on his work, only if you're there, though 😅

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst #matchups #twst imagines #disney twisted wonderland #romantic #twisted wonderland floyd #floyd leech x reader #floyd leech #twst floyd #floyd x reader #jade leech #azul ashengrotto

17 notes · View notes