#ill add it just in case

[citrusdownn]

ANOTHER CHARACTER BIRTHDAY!!!! this times its ulti bc i love her a lot and i wantef to draw something for her

back on my peroulti shit with this drawing too bc i love them

[trop1cal-punk]

If you send hate on anon your a coward. 

at least send it without anon on so I know whose mom to seduce 

[edlucavalden]

Mithrun and non-visible disability

Yk, I've never seen people talk about this, but Mithrun is a very accurate depiction of having a non visible illness

I'd like to interpret mithrun's bastard origin to be an allegory for an invisible disability (I'd argue its neurodivergance, but it could be anything); An aspect of yourself that you are born with (in this case; born from) that is seen as inferior but it is not obvious.

He's even lucky—since that part of him is that of benefit. His infidelity gave him silver eyes and sharp ears after all (if you can catch the metaphor). from the outside, He's just a normal person, a person worth respecting because he's fits the standard.

However, he knows he does not fit the standard. it's just a lie. He hates himself—so, so much bc of that. It causes him to over-compensate through complete perfectionism and a high sense of self pride. He has to keep a big image in order to protect himself. it's the only thing that can get him loved.

However, that superficial ego gives him terrible imposter syndrome. He knows he doesn't deserve it, but he wants to. like everyone, he craves love and safety. So, he looks down at everyone, hyperfocused at their flaws (he can't be inferior if everyone is worse, right?) whatever it takes to prove himself that he deserves love.

He knows he's weak, but he has to show to everyone that he's strong because any slight sight of weakness would be detrimental since he knows that his humanity is conditional.

He knows that if he shows the truth and how he doesn't actually fit the status quo, he will be ostracized and rejected.

He knows—because his brother is proof of that.

Obrin's disability is obviously visible; Shown through his physical characteristics (his frailness and the lack of family traits). However, his discrimination may be due to this visible disability. he isn't nessesarily ostracized for those traits. His features aren't the (main) reason why he's perceived as inferior in the social hierarchy. it's instead because he's rumored to be a bastard child. This is why he hates his brother so much.

Obrins physical characteristics are just "symptoms" that perpetuate their prejudice towards infidelity (if were going by the disability allegory, think; this person is too sensitive, it must be bc of the autism...). By doing so, his brother indirectly taught him to hide that part of himself.

He hates Obrin because he is the physical manifestation of what will happen to him if his infidelity (disability) is revealed. He is the same plane as his brother after all, The only difference is that he's fortunate enough to be able to hide it.

It's very interesting how his hatred to Obrin isn't because he's genuinely bigoted and ignorant towards him, but because of his own personal internalized ablelism just projected. (It's ironic how contrary it is; he hates his brother because he sees him as equal) very much paralleling visible and nonvisible disability in intimate familial relationships.

The fact mithrun is the bastard child, not him. Imagine the burdening guilt and shame that comes with the knowledge that he could (or should) be one in his place.

He's constantly paranoid of thoughts that he's not good enough. That's why he was so upset when he was sent to the canaries or when he saw Obrin and Sultha together.

Because those are signs that Obrin is better than him and he could not forgive that (how can someone like him, completely ostracized from society, and be so content...?). And that sign proves his paranoia of not being good enough are correct.

mithrun's insecurities, fears, and behavior very much parallel that of being a high masking disabled person.

Hes is a flawed disabled character, but one you can also sympathize with.

He isn't a perfect victim. He delves on how a disabiled person who's so intrenched in a heavily ableist and bigoted society can be a victim to its bigotry and be taken advantage of (The demon. I didn't touch on that topic, as much as i would love an essay about how the demon preyed on mithruns vulnerability regarding his own disability but unfortunately, that might be too triggering for me lawl!) while also actively participating in it and perpetuate said beliefs

And that means so much to me

[1kk4ku]

hermitcraft portal au i made up :o3 (my character placement idea for this au is scar = chell, mumbo = wheatley, and grian = glados 🫡)

[raviniaraven]

Hey just a heads up if you're going to Minneapolis Pride this weekend, if you pass a booth with people asking you to watch a video and they'll pay you a dollar, don't do it. They're a group like PETA that's trying to trick you into watching a graphic video about animal slaughter. It's a ten minute video of animal gore that they're trying to play off as activism. If you are any type of sensitive to gore, don't watch the video.

This isn't any sort of criticism of vegans or vegetarians, this is just a friendly warning about groups that want to show you animals dying and covered in blood. Regardless of your opinions on animal welfare, that's not okay to show to people with no warning.

[cloudysarts]

this show would be good if literally everything about it was different

[basilpaste]

some folks on ye ole isatcord asked for an osis isa ref so uh!!! here he is!!! my special guy! granted, this is post-canon because he looks very similar to canon for most of the game, but augh.

now you, too, can behold the beau!

[0harpies]

* drops this out my pocket*

Oh fuck doghunt tolkien

[diathadevil]

I love these girls so much their friendship means so much to me.

(got inspired after seeing the panel art in chapter 47!)

[wasyago]

random stuffs about Redstone and Skulk

@silverskye13

[vulpixisananimal]

Loop and Mal are both very bad at pretending to be Siffrin. Which is a problem, since Siffrin is still having trouble opening up about their problems. And having two other 'yous' in your own head is definitely something to open up about.

[Context]

[spliqi]

higuchi thoughts of the day: as much as i love the idea of her having some devastatingly destructive ability… her having a healing/support ability would explain so much of her character. like. her high ranking in the mafia despite (as far as we know) not being extraordinarily strong. her assignment to akutagawa + his resentment of her + her being so overprotective of him. the irl author’s connection to mori and yosano. dw about it

[puppyeared]

man

[mikayesha]

hii just wanna say ur feenie and maya drawings are top tier amazing i love them they are so the siblings ever

Thank you so muchTvT! I'm happy that a lot of people are enjoying my recent narumayo doodles. Also very true,, Phoenix having nonexistent parents and Maya having complicated family issues make it that they are just there for each other's company, paving their way to life and facing whatever obstacles they have on the way.

[blushouyo]

back in the halcyon days when the bloodlust hit

[miiilowo]

I have seen what they say about npd on Google but may I ask you for the truth or at least stuff people don't mention cause i have a feeling there is a ton of stuff they don't mention and they just focus on bullshit

Sorry if its worded weird I just wanna learn about npd from a better source

Ill start off by saying I'm not the best source since im just some dude who has it, but I dont blame you for asking me specifically, considering how most of the results when looking into NPD are very, very plainly abelist or misinformed. Hell, even some of the non-abelist sources have some things wrong with them.

Before I begin, I wanna get this out of the way (since its very common to encounter): 'narc abuse' isnt real. No illness or disorder will make someone abusive. Abuse is a choice, and is not something one can be born into; Claiming all narcissists are inherently abusive is incredibly abelist, and if someone tells you otherwise, either kindly inform them or beat them with hammers. Everyone is capable of kindness, and everyone is capable of abuse. There is no pattern of abuse that solely correlates to people with NPD. If someone is abusive, and they also happen to have NPD, thats an abuser who has NPD, not a narcissistic abuser. You know? While a disorder may contribute to choices people make, correlation is not causation.

I will say to anyone else reading this who has used the term before, or anyone who has used 'narcissist'/'narcissistic' to describe someone who hurt them--As long as you stop, I wont be mad at you. I know that for a lot of people, it simply doesn't occur to them that it might be hurtful. However, if you know about how it can be hurtful or abelist and you CONTINUE to use it, that's where we have a real issue.

A few people have asked how to refer to me as someone who has NPD, so ill also mention that here. while i dont mind being called a narcissist personally, a lot of people do Not like being called that. generally saying people with NPD or pwNPD for short is a safer bet.

ok, now that thats out of the way, heres some stuff i have tucked in my pocket. they should give you a decent enough idea of what its like, and if you have followup questions, absolutely feel free to ask!!! i dont mind helping de-stigmatize in any way i can. i wont think its annoying i prommy

National Library Of Medicine - NPD

Stigma in the DSM when it comes to how NPD is described (keep in mind for above link) - @/kindnessoverperfection

NPD criteria rewritten by someone who has it (explanations for changes also included) - @/kindnessoverperfection

Me responding to someone who asked what they can do to help out/accommodate living w someone w NPD. <- this one covers some of my personal experiences with it

Collection of resources and an explanation of ""narc supply"" - @/theegosystem

Perception of NPD symptoms vs. how someone may actually experience them - @/kindnessoverperfection

I'm not gonna go over every single symptom and how it affects me, but I do wanna talk about envy, entitlement and narc crashes because those are the things i tend to encounter the most often that are like. Actually Bad And Disordered. some of these traits arent really that bad (like being arrogant and having a big ego. if im constantly talking about how sexy and awesome i am idk how thats a bad thing TBH i recommend it for everyone. does wonders for the mental health. there is a bad side to it [which you can find in the links above] but in my experience its less prevalent of an issue than the stuff im ab to talk about)

For me PERSONALLY, its mostly a problem with ego regulation, and the perception I have of myself is HEAVILY reliant on how other people perceive me and how much positive attention I'm getting. If someone does not like me, it is absolutely devastating, far more than it should be for the average person (though i also suffer from RSD due to my other disorders so i dont imagine thats helping)

If I dont receive enough attention, receive too much negative attention, or am led to believe I'm not actually the specialest boy on planet earth who deserves to be picked up and spun around and kissed on the forehead it can lead to whats referred to as a 'narc crash', or just a crash. Whatever we've been telling ourselves to keep our ego intact has been shattered into pieces, and we'll get rather angry and depressed, though mostly depressed. (we as in people with npd). The length of the crash usually depends on the severity of what happened, and whats being done to amend it, as far as i can tell.

Small things that may contribute to a crash For Me (or just feeling sort of upset tbh) are not being the center of attention in a group conversation, not being perceived as being the Best at something, not being prioritized by other people, not being invited to do things (even if you KNOW you dont want to participate in the activity), and PEOPLE SENDING ME ANNOYING FUCKING ANONS ON TUMBLR (not you. youre fine. this is referring to other people) among other things. Just this general sorta. thang. will get under our skin more than most. like 100% of the time. there are an infinite number of examples, but these are a handful of the most consistent ones for me.

One other thing i want to highlight is the "Has a sense of entitlement, such as an unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment or compliance with his or her expectations)" symptom. This is true but the wording is absolute dogshit. I do have a sense of entitlement; I feel like I deserve certain things, and i do heavily desire favorable treatment. However, I KNOW when those things are unreasonable. I know when it's unfair, I know when it's unrealistic, I know not everyone is going to be able to comply to my demands 100% of the time, but I really feel like the focus here should be on how UPSETTING it is when these things arent met vs how it sucks for other people. When I dont receive what i feel like i deserve, i just get. really sad and upset. I personally have the self control to not snap at people (usually; depends on if the infraction was fair or not), but the phrasing here makes it seem like if the person with npd isnt an asshole about it, then they dont have this issue. which is false. i shouldnt be worked up and wanting to cry because i didnt receive an award for something i know i dont technically deserve and didnt commit to. you know?????? idk. IDK man. (its this kind of thing that makes me INCREDIBLY competitive and its also why i never enter contests of any kind. if i dont win i will want to commit murder at a minimum. i am a sore loser)

Envy is also a big problem for me. I think (know?) that other people are envious of me and look up to me, but I'm envious of other people to like, what would be a friendship-ruining level if I actually expressed it all the time. Its an underlying sense of "i deserve this more than you, why are you receiving this, this isnt fair, this should be me instead" that becomes genuinely RAGE INDUCING when half the time its just like. someone telling me theyre going on a cool trip. lmao. like they dont have to be bragging they can just be like Hey check out this thing i get to do isnt that cool :3 bc they wanna share their happiness with me. it sucks. it really sucks. Hell, when I see my mutuals and peers receive fanart for their aus/ocs/etc i get so agitated i have to use xkits "block post" feature so i dont have to look at it LMAO

I do also wanna touch on the 'believes they are special and will only associate with special people or institutions' thing briefly, since its kinda vague. I like myself, and i'm only going to want to interact with people who are also "like me", because, to put it bluntly, i perceive them as being better. people who i cannot relate to get sorta. pushed to the side. and i dont want to say i look down on them, but thats the best descriptor i have for it; obviously, be kind to everyone above all else, but inside i WILL be annoyed by you if i perceive you as being boring and/or 'basic'. probably part of why i hate taylor swift fans so much TBH

Again, this description I've given is very personal, and may not wholly apply to other people w NPD--It also doesn't cover every trait/symptom, but is just a handful that I wanted to go over. Remember to check out the linked sources if you havent, and if anyone reading this has some extra links, I'd be happy to take them!!!! If you have any questions or need clarification on something, also feel free to ask :3

Edit: I feel like its important to note that while trauma is a common way for someone to develop NPD, (neglectful or abusive parents for example), its not the only way. theres a few different ways it can develop, and i personally did due to an excessive amount of praise in childhood, which is one of the more commonly listed causes. set up my brain to need that to function