#ill be problematic but not like THAT haha

[fishfingersandjellybabies]

Hello you have written soms timdami in the past but idk if you still ship them.. but hope you enjoy:

Kon is dating damian.

Kon. Is. Dating. Damian.

Tim can't believe his best friend would betray him like this, dating his little brother?? Kon is like.. 6 years older than damian.

HECK DAMIAN IS 16 WHILE KON IS 22 (allegedly)

Theres this pit in his stomach that grows whenever he looks at them, this.. negative feeling.

'Jealousy' his brain supplied. He never thought this would be something he'd be jealous of damian about. He never really thought he felt that way towards his best frien– traitor.

Because well... its not exactly "crush" worthy if you want to actually crush your crush with a gigantic kryptonite hammer. Pun intended.

He feels empathy for jon, seeing as hes just as.. jealous... as.. tim is.

Huh.. that... doesn't seem right.

(He knows that its not damian hes jealous of)

Kon and damian had a fight. Hes gonna actually kill that super asshole for real. Screw morality.

But first hes gotta comfort damian, he has to be a good lover brother after all.. ha.. the term makes him a bit.. sad

But then damian smiled at him, a very rarely thing in the past (not rare anymore). And he looks pretty like this, damian has really grown to be beautiful– his heart beats a bit faster suddenly.. too fast.

No.

no..

He called jon that day.

Jon and damian are in a realtionship now, tho damian is also still dating kon.. apparently what they have isn't really a "romantic" relationship, a QPR or something– tim wasn't really paying attention anymore.

...

..

.

He feels jealous for both jon and kon now.

and god, what if Jon KNOWS what Tim is feeling. He knows Tim is getting to be a bit Too Much about Damian, even when Damian and Kon fight, and it's Jon he calls first.

And Jon's been through a lot, yeah? He deserves nice things. He deserves Damian. So for Damian to choose him for comfort over his own family? Well, he's just downright chuffed.

And he doesn't know why, but that murderous look Tim is sending him makes him even more smug that it's his hand Damian is holding and his physical affection Damian is accepting. No one else's.

No one's.

And so while Kon and Damian are friends and enjoying each other's company, there's a cold war between Jon and Tim. Jon, shoving it in Tim's face that Damian loves him, and Tim, planning Jon's demise under the guise of wanting to protect Damian, and refusing to voice his darker, inner, more lustful thoughts about it.

Any time I think timdami a lot of the time anymore I think of it as incredibly unhealthy and obsessive haha. but I still love it anyway. 😅

[siinlight]

:(... I hate when I get blocked by blogs I really like and post a majority of things I like

[oakshade]

Spottedleaf Says!

If you click "Keep Reading", you are a proshipper.

hehe haha hehe haha silly moment This is a redraw of an older "comic", it was pretty much the same but with a different design for Spottedleaf? I hadn't known what I wanted her to look like yet, but my nostalgia won out and this is how I regularly draw her! I also drew this, which I think is funny.

The initial comic was inspired from one that was like, "Proshipping is not okay! If you're a proshipper, you're a worthless piece of shit!" And they used Spottedleaf as the speaking voice for it. And I saw that and went, "isn't she literally a groomer?" (the answer is yes. I checked the comments of that post and someone else had said the same thing!) So I made a little comic of my own, it was just the opposite message! "Proshipping" isn't even a thing really, but I'm quoting the very original comic! To be "proship" is just to be anti-harassment. That's what it has always been. It's in the name, Pro-Shipping. Pro-Ship(What-You-Want). I think it is so silly watching the definition get twisted around by people with ill intent, or by people who are just too misinformed to actually know what it means. Sometimes it's labeled incorrectly intentionally, to make it seem like a Big Bad. And sometimes the person just doesn't do any research into the topic and instead goes, "gasp! Proship.. P- Problematic Ships?? That's problematic!!" Funnily enough, there IS a label like that. And it isn't proship, it's comship. Com-Ship. Complicated Ship. Being FOR complicated ships. it is very silly to me! If I hope for anything, I hope that some anti reads this and gets so insecure about themselves that they just have to do more research so they can feel smart. And then they go, "Oh. Oh, I was wrong. It's.. very simple actually." But it's fine if they don't, pissing people off is kinda funny too? And I get really happy when I get asks like, "thank you for this! I was feeling really embarrassed or ashamed to be proship, but I like your posts!" That's good also! If you're one of those people, I hope that you like this too! And to any anti who opened the "keep reading" bar, I hope your time has been THOROUGHLY wasted. (and no, I will not be gravely offended if you comment "im not reading all of that". it isn't meant for you, you're just outing that you're A Proshipper now <3 I WILL be teasing you for it when I notice!)

I just wanted to type as much as possible to take up as much room as possible, I thought to myself, "maybe someone will read this to see if I've said something accidentally incriminating about myself or my morals!" hehe haha hehe haha anyway spottedleaf groomed firepaw, eat my ass antis

[artistotel]

i have so much both sfw and nsfw fanart that ive never posted bc the fear of FREAKS is so rampant on here that i just take a look at my sketchdumps, go like "what problematic thing would people find about this and then make my life be annoying" and go like not worth it

sry to all fans of shows and ships that would like to see it but this site is absolutely showing its ass; the latest wave of active and agressive transmisogyny is really showing how fucking weaponized anti-sex sentiment of this site is, how fast it devolves into literal weapons of hate. im not transfem, my life and existence would not be endangered by annoying people in my inbox, but i have no wish to deal w that either if i dont have to. the absolute vitriol and agression ive seen transfem mutuals face for "FREAKS N DEGENERATES N PEDOPHILES" accusations legit has me stumped.

i dont care abt notes and shit or being like "yOuRe MaKiNg ArTiStS sToP pOsTiNg", ill just keep my drawings between me and my girlfriend, as ive done for months now. i feel bad because me and her send each other fanart by other artists, and i feel sad knowing that they might as well not post that art, the same way i dont. but i genuinely have no nerves or patience or wish to post anything in this vitriolic environment. "transmisogyny affects everyone!" is a disingenous statement to make, its self-centered to say it, but it does in a proxy way. i am not a victim of it, and i do not dare compare me being briefly annoyed on the interwebs with trans women getting their private fucking data outed for having a haha funny side url and fbi called on them, but it sure does have a part of a reason as to why i dont post much anymore. especially since my own sister is transfem.

so keep cultivating that bigotry and keep being silent bc 'it doesnt concern you' - because yeah, it does affect everything around you, the entire society.

so there, in case you wondered why i dont post as much, this is the reason. there is also a serious health situation im going through, but my lack of wish to post fanart has been going on for longer than that

[anonzentimes]

i find it honestly kind of insane how misunderstood komaeda is online like maybe its because i did his ftes on my own playtrough but just from playing dr2 once to me he never felt like a "uwu hope boy" or a "hope obsessed male junko", he just felt like his own guy with his own reasons that have nuance and arent bound to black and white good or bad mentalities, and because i got all of that from 1 playtrough i honestly thought nagito was not that hard to understand and now i see people boxing him on one or the other and i just sit there like did we play the same game ???????

im also someone that overthinks a lot and wants my interpretations of characters to line up with canon as much as i can and i dont dare to talk on the internet about characters i dont fully grasp so its bonkers to me how many people are so openly completely missing the entire point of nagitos character........

It really is annoying how some people completely miss his character or think he has to be stuffed in specific categories, part of what makes his character so great is that he cares so much and is so sweet but is morally gray when it comes to his absolute beliefs/obsessive coping mechanism but even in the end his moral grayness doesn't have ill intentions. He's messed up by the circumstances of his life and the diagnosis also impacts things, he's still a really sweet boy who cares a lot and all of that is a MIX. Nagito is basically the moral grayness added to Danganronpa 2 that makes its messages more impactful and interesting. Nagito is practically a parallel to both Makoto and Hajime, and with his own sweetness and personality, problematic coping mechanisms from circumstances/luck cycle, and appearance it creates somebody completely new and wonderful. Somebody who's Super LOVABLE!!! In fact Nagito is so easy to misinterpret that the Wiki actually says "He's revealed to be a psychopath," which kind of undermines everything about him as well as isn't actually correct to the definition of a psychopath >:(

also the male Junko thing is inherently wrong because his mindset is completely different and Junko is also well written in her own way, the crazy eyes make people think of it or make jokes about it but it's just completely wrong Lol. Nagito loves Hope and believes despair is absolutely NECESSARY for Hope. Again, more of a parallel to Makoto, Not Junko. And then for the whole "uwu" boy it's like, c'mon dude. I know you didn't say these and are indeed agreeing with annoyance with these statements but I get annoyed too so I wanted to add a mini ramble about it too HAHA!

Anyways, I guess overall I just wish people could enjoy him with completely understanding him more, It feels really good for me at least. Probably because he's the biggest special interest i've ever had in my life and mere mentioning him gives me happiness, but I digress I think he doesn't have to be put into specific boxes. Good people can do bad things, he's a complex character with a lot of depth. In a weird way his character is definitely over the top fantasy from the franchise being that way, but what Danganronpa does is make that feel real. In that aspect Nagito feels realistic with how he isn't just black or white.

thanks for your ask and thank you for letting me ramble on my birthday <3 :D!!!!!

[sugoi-and-spice]

1, 18, 22, and 23 <— for the writers asks :)

The Writer Ask Game! (Gahh, these are so fun! ^_^)

1. the last sentence you wrote

Ah, this is a little sneak peak of the next chapter actually. ^_^

Instead, Iguchi just shoved him back onto the bed, then stormed back over to his own, muttering about what a spoiled asshole he was all the way over.

18. if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic.

I started to write a chapter where MC, Shigaraki, and Iguchi go to a climbing/bouldering gym, but ultimately scrapped it. I still like the concept though, so I'll probably bring it back in some form or another in the sequel, though without this particular version of banter, since this takes place when MC and Shigaraki are still trying to deny their feelings for each other. xD

Little more than a paragraph, but I have a feeling y'all won't complain.

“I thought we were already rock-climbing,” Shigaraki said as she knelt down in front of him to adjust the harness around his waist.

“Nah, that was bouldering.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Besides the harness?” she chuckled, then nodded towards one of the walls they were actually going to climb, which was at least three times the height of the tallest wall they’d covered in the other section of the gym.

“Huh,” he acknowledged with a twitch of his mouth.

That actually looked kind of fun.

She secured the last strap and then tapped Shigaraki on his outer thigh for his attention, “Alright, is that too tight?”

He just smirked down at her, “I don’t know. Maybe you should give it a feel and check.”

“You realize I’m in prime nut-tapping position right now, right?” she deadpanned, “Might not want to piss me off.”

Oh, he was painfully aware of her position right now. About fifty different scenarios of her sucking his dick right now had cycled through his head just in the time since she asked that question.

22. do you every worry about public reaction to what you're writing? how do you get past that?

Hmmm, not much. Not anymore at least. When I first started this blog I was a bit worried about potential harassment since I do write dark and problematic content. But I've really only received one or two mean comments/anon messages in the, what, 2 years I've been posting this content? And I just deleted them.

Haha that being said, I think I'm actually a little nervous about whether or not people will like this next chapter. It's pretty much entirely Shigaraki and Iguchi backstory and it also weaves in a lot of really personal viewpoints and experiences with mental illness, so I do hope I do that representation justice.

23. pick three keywords that describe your writing

Ooooh, I'd say angsty and problematic, but also, ultimately healing.

I really love exploring toxic relationships and complicated dynamics in my fics, and particularly I really like to examine how characters can grow from and out of those dynamics and become better people. I love to write growth and character arcs.

...now, would it probably be a bit more moral if I didn't also write these fics as love stories? If Play Nice was a cautionary tale and I wrote about how MC is able to get away from Shigaraki and move on with her life? Haha, yeah probably.

But where's the fun in that?

[hevanderson]

@boltgunkiller + i's tumblr simulation

🕶 anonymous asked: why do u think its okay to basically tell people to kill themselves do you know how problematic that is ??? so much for being an ally to the mentally ill.

🏳️‍🌈 courageouskatycat answered: I djdnt mmean that i;m so sorru I was j ust very upswt please don't makw a call out post

(6 notes)

🐟 trouty--mouth

Can a cheerio pls ask if Coach Sue thinks I'm a grill

🐱 unicat

I did and she said she does think you're a grill and you keep your cooked meats in your mouth

🐟 trouty--mouth

? Lol ok what does that have to do with me being female to her that's so funny

(602 notes)

🕊 sngbrd

one like and i'll send ****** anon hate

🕊 sngbrd

thank u my beloved mutual angrybirdsfan221

🐦 angrybirdsfan221

anything 4 u !!!

#also psst sngbrd who's the guy ur censoring omg

(3 note)

🎵 ohioshowchoirupdates Follow

The Dalton Academy Warblers lost a third show choir competition in a row.

🏳️‍🌈 courageouskatycat Follow

We should all kill ourselves

#Reblog #Cw suicide #Cw loss

(183 notes)

✝️ holiestcheerio Follow

why do i want to kiss girls

✝️ holiestcheerio Follow

WRONG BLOG WRONG FUCKING BLOG

✝️ holiestcheerio Follow

sorry santana took my phone. haha

👄 sntnlpez

I've not seen you in two weeks...?

(846 notes)

🏈 sharkfinn5 Follow

Just want to clear up the rumors that just because I'm living with Kurt doesn't mean I'm gay we're brothers okay guys it isn't gay.

🍆 puckasauraus-rexxx Follow

So it's bisexual got it

#rekt

(401 notes)

🕊 sngbird

if anyone from school found me on this blog i think i would die

🐦 angrybirdsfan221

god same thank god i blocked every1 lol

(3 notes)

🐈‍⬛ lordtubbington

ive taken up doing cocaine

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas!!

im gonna rant at you for a bit if you dont mind :)

Im a minor that lives in a super tight night, close minded community. Super religious, super homophobic transphobic ect. Seeing as im a teenage girl whose questioning their gender and is definitely attracted to women thats kinda problematic lols. Honestly idek how to explain the situation without a bunch of details, but basically, theres a fifty-fifty chance of me being sent to conversion therapy or just cut off from any internet access (and i mean ANY. i have a flip phone for fucks sake.)if my fam finds out im queer, i have no support system outside of some internet friends who know nothing about my situation, and within the next few years(so like once i turn 20ish, thats in like 4 years but whatever) my family is going to expect me to get married to a man and start popping out babies asap. Btw thats whats expected of me in this community, marriage under the age of 25, have like as many kids as physically possible and god forbid higher education. And im not okay with that . Ffs i want to go to college, major in fine arts, meet a person i like and fall desperately in love or maybe not just have a bunch of close platonic relationships i want cats and a dog and a cute studio in a big city where i can dye my hair whatever color i want aand get an obsene amount of piercings, i want to wear pants!! I just want to live. Without expectations or limits or people who love me hating everything they dont know about me. Is that truly so much to ask for?

And im incredibly dramatic cuz i literally have the dream life. My family loves me, my parents are upper middle class, theyve never hurt me before(besides for all the anti everything rants haha) i literally have a full sized bed, which for some reason i see as the peak of being spoiled idk why. I go to school, not even public, a private religious school that prob costs thousands of dollars, i have friends(who are all part of this community btw and id bet my entire savings that most of them think gay is only a word that ppl use to mean happy lol) close ones even!! I have adorable neices and nephews(my 3 sisters all were married by the age of 20, so i have 11 niecesand nephews while my oldest sister is 31) im living the dream life. But i hate it and i have no way out. No hope of college to get on my feet and find someway out, no people that'll help me fucking run away or some bullshit like that, hell ive considered it and then felt like shit, cuz what am i even running from? Im probably attracted to men it wont kill me to marry one. And i like kids, i wouldnt mind having any either. But.... i dont want to be trapped anymore. Cuz ill be honest thats what i am.if some one asked me to run away with them rn i would, no hesitation.

God im a mess😭😭 anyway this was me ranting in my notes app, im just apologizing for dumping this on a complete stranger(we're moots actually!!) albeit a very kind one :) i dont know what im looking for, but ill take whatever your comfortable giving ig.

I love and appreciate you<333

And hey this has been oddly cathartic so lmk if its okay for me to do this again sometime :))

"im living the dream life. But i hate it and i have no way out."

Hon, you're not living the dream life...there's a difference between financial privilege and being happy, you know? It's pretty clear that this isn't what you want.

I'm not sure if you're asking for my advice here, or if you just want to vent. But I care about you, and if you want me to research some things to try to help you, I'm more than willing to (that way it's not on your search history.) Just say the word!

Until then, you are ALWAYS allowed to vent to me.

I'm naming you venting anon in case you write again!

[mcnjushcge]

What about Romano x China?

this is a #problematic mcnjushcge moment but I adore the concept of this ship SOLELY in the context of yao being incredibly mentally ill and immediately projecting his feelings for rome on romano upon meeting him LMAO……oooghhggg the devastation upon finding out who he is and the fact that he looks so much like his grandpa/father/however you view their relationship. in this scenario instead of yao just fondly watching him from a distance like in all the cute romechu fanart they are together because yao does NOT know how to grieve properly and sees it as a second chance. haha would that be fucked up or what

[suffarustuffaru]

I voted for Otto because while I do think Julius is the better boyfriend, Otto is the better friend no? At the very least my reasoning was that Otto has spent a year in proximity with Subaru collecting all sorts of small moments in addition to their bigger moments in arc 4, really forming the case for Otto to get the best friend title. Tho arc six really did make it hard to choose.

(for future reference this post is about this poll 👍)

HAH you raise really really good points yeah!! i honestly voted for julius as half a joke (arc 8 ch 24 to walk in the light was totally about otto being mad about juliemisuba if you squint. totally /lh) and absolutely if you took grown up subaru and told him to assign julius and otto as either boyfriend or best friend, julius would get the former (…..subarus attraction to julius is really really obvious HAHA) and otto would get the latter exactly for all the reasons you said as well yep!! ottos been living with subaru, ottos supporting subaru and their camp, etc etc hes been there more consistently, etc etc like otto is a very dedicated and loyal friend, but imo otto loses some points by arc 7-8 bc its the same dedication and loyalty that makes him shitty now :<<< mr otto “i walk in darkness” suwen, mr otto “im gonna not tell my friends about the tome or info that would save spicas life lol bc i want her dead” suwen, mr otto “its fine if 50 million people die” suwen :<<<<< at least julius is honest about wanting spica dead and he wont just let 50 million people die :<<<

but also you raise a good point bc otto IS a good friend in the sense that youll be alive as long as hes there bc he wont let you die. but will otto be alive by that point?? :<<<<<< will 50 million people still be alive????? will your previously problematic daughter figure be alive….??? a little debatable but hey hes dedicated ill give him that :<<< hes a good friend and he can definitely be kind and comforting and stuff but absolutely a questionable person BAHA and julius has got otto beat in the good person department LMAO. this is otto:

:<<<<<<< ottos Devoted……. but definitely not GOOD i think HAH. if dude worked on his moral code he’d be the bestest friend ever :<< like no person is not without their flaws yknow? ottos flaws just allow him to think about KILLING PEOPLE FOR YOU LMAOO 😭😭 its why i chose julius :<< that and i think it was really really funny to choose julius bc its the canon answer (see: otto punching a wall over julius like ok you asshole you can have your gay breakdown over julius and juliemisuba :<<)

but anyway ty for the ask, loved hearing your thoughts on the boy drama poll pfft. i think its a really funny poll for sure (and the moral dilemma side of the boy drama is interesting yes)

[fitgothgirl]

I've been scheduling more sporadically with my therapist since she changed practices and the new place doesn't take my insurance - I'd been seeing her since February 2023 so a few months ago when this happened she offered to keep seeing me on the side wherever she could fit me in, and was having me Venmo her just whatever my copay was ($40). I haven't seen her in over two months now and a couple weeks ago we had scheduled for 7/17, but the time came and went and she didn't text me the zoom link. I'm thinking I just slipped off the radar since I'm not *official* haha. My feelings would be hurt a small amount (and only that much because I know she doesn't mean anything by it and she seems to actually enjoy our time together - don't think she'd see me on the side if not lol), but I was meaning to get more prepared for the appointment and hadn't done so yet, so it kind of worked out for the best. We have better sessions when I'm ready like that (not surprising of course). So I'm going to organize some thoughts here!...

Things are not bad but not good. I'm in an odd happy-sad place lately. On the one hand, everyday, multiple times a day, I'm so overwhelmed with gratitude for how my life is right now. I have to remind myself that nothing is permanent because I do so badly wish things could be like this forever. I love my partner, I love our home, I love our families, I love our amazing circle of super supportive friends, I love our cat, I love the lake house, I love the weather of the Bay Area, I love the stuff to do/cool places in the Bay & California, I love the relative wealth of human rights in my country, I love my health and my mundane physical abilities, etc... I don't have kids and I work from home for a unstressful job and so I have an amazing work-life-balance; literally everyday I get to be like "hmmm what do I wanna to do today?" I've also witnessed very little death & illness in terms of important people in my life. I'm so privileged in so many ways and I'm constantly cognizant of all these things and overflowing with gratitude and reveling in the moment as much as I can.

On the other hand... I just feel like since Costa Rica in late January/early February, I've been faltering in all the progress I've made over the last 2 years. I haven't been able to get my weed smoking back under control. It's been a while since I've been able to make more fitness progress despite trying a few times to reset (I will give it up for myself that working out is just part of my identity now and I still go to the gym, which is a huge win overall, but I'm struggling to do the minimum maintain right now). I'm back to spending way too much money (outside of the tattoo that was saved for) and putting things on my credit card that's creeping towards its limit. I haven't been able to get myself to keep up with my bujo anymore (which has its own repercussions) despite trying to go back to super simple/basic spreads of just black ink and no designs. Reading has stopped again. I feel like my executive function has deteriorated. I'm eating too much and feeling less in control in that area. I'm also drinking too much and it's becoming problematic; I don't get drunk all the time, but having at least a couple drinks each night is becoming a difficult thing to talk myself out of once evening hits. And I do get drunk sometimes - maybe twice a week. Not like I'm hammered, but nonetheless. Alcohol is quite a different beast from weed so I'm uneasy and need to deal with it.

There was a big build up to Costa Rica because it was a deadline I was being held to, where if I was unsuccessful in tapering down my smoking, I was going to be extremely uncomfortable both physically and mentally for the entirely of the trip (a trip of a lifetime no less); the alternative being not going on the trip, which would be ridiculous to do over weed lol. Withdrawal fucking sucks for me since I'm such a heavy user so I knew it was crucial to cut back. And around this time I was also at the peak of my consistency with the gym/fitness progress - not only because it felt great but knowing that getting as fit as (healthfully) possible by CR would only help me during travel and the activities there, as well as helping my confidence while in swimsuits & in many pictures. But in retrospect, tapering down my weed was a bigger mental boost than I really realized, and was helping out every area of my life in indirect ways. Even before starting to incorporate weedless days, when I was just relegating daily smoking to nighttime, I was in a much stronger place mentally. It's not like I didn't know it was going to be beneficial to cut back, but it was so gradual I didn't really fully grasp the progress until looking at things in hindsight.

But then after the big build up to CR and coming home, things fell apart in the decompression... I didn't have that assured, impending deadline where I'd be suffering if I failed my goal (I feel like the positive punishment aspect was a big factor). Without that fire under my ass, I just haven't been able to stay consistent with sticking to a schedule and using my kSafe to lock up my weed. And I feel like knowing I need to restart the tapering process (i.e. locking it up for just 2 hours a day for a couple weeks and then progressing to 4 hours, 8 hours, etc., as well eliminating smoking in the AM), is actually a bit of a detriment, because it's easy to think it's not a big deal to miss a day since it's "just 2 hours" and I can even inadvertently do that just by being busy. And knowing I had done so much more in the past makes just a couple hours seem so trivial. But the main point of starting off like that was to just get in the habit of using the kSafe in the first place, and to turn up the hours like boiling a frog. I know I can't just jump to "no smoking until 9pm" or something, even though at first I felt like I could just since I had the confidence from it doing before, but my therapist says trying to cut to that is not a good idea (which I did try to do unbeknownst to her but she was proven right lol).

So yeah I'm basically blaming the multiple aspects of this rut/depression on the excessive smoking its ripple effects... Not a surprise though lol. Local Girl Realizes Being Huge Stoner Not Healthy.... (I'd known this long ago lol just joshin)

I miss me. Before, my progress was me getting to physical and mental states I had never been at before. Now that I know what I'm capable of, there's a me to "get back to." In a way it's comforting to know from experience that I can successfully work on myself and I can just follow my own example again. But in another way it makes me sad any backtracking was done. I actually kinda thought I had passed some threshold of mental progress or something (silly in hindsight ig), and am so frustrated with how easily things fell apart just by removing the CR deadline; it made me feel really weak. But my therapist would tell me to not focus on mistakes or setbacks and to not feel guilty, so I'm trying to keep that in mind as I write this. I know I'm looking through the rose-colored glasses of memory too; I know I had struggles in November/basically when DST ended and through the winter until CR, plus other little setbacks. And the fact that I was indeed successful in cutting back smoking enough to not feel like shit on the trip is something to be proud of.

"This thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down" (Mary Pickford)

(Again another good quote that I learned from Parks and Rec lol)

[kaettytropmignon]

an open letter. feel free to read, feel free to not.

my problem is i long for debate and discussion, if not to reach resolution then at least some form of mutual understanding. wanting these things in and of themselves aren't bad, they're good! we should always make an effort to understand one another, right? the problematic thing for me is i can't stop this urge from surfacing, over and over again. i'm caught in a cycle of "maybe if i try again, this time will work out" to "it hasn't and never will. accept defeat" and for a little while i feel that way but then it returns; "maybe if i try again,"

i would genuinely like to have dialogue with people who do not like my ideas, what i have to offer, and myself as a result. i don't mean to convince people to change their stance, it's a bit more like i want to be convinced. i want it explained to me, i want to understand! i'm so curious.

so when i make contact please know it's with no malice, and i apologise if these attempts to do so have resulted in any distress. if my problem is i can't stop trying to engage, then your problem ("you" assumed to be the opposition; simplified, anti-kaetty – the one and true name of the ship as it sounds much nicer) is taking everything with bad faith and ill intent. i invite you to consider that conflict is not abuse, and i encourage anyone with the inclination to reach out to me for literally reason at all. here, on main, on discord under the same name. it's electropath. feel free, even just tell me to go away.

but i don't think anyone will, you see. firstly because i am not tagging or @'ing, not spreading this as The Daily Drama Post for folks to see, and secondly because, again under the assumption that i laid out before, you don't want to understand me, or jay, or dolly, or any others who get dismissed as fringe freaks and weirdos. and i think you might even take pride in that.

(not that i'm saying i'm better. this is all for a cartoon frog show. let he who is without cringe throw the first stone)

another problem is how i have obsessed over this. i keep thinking back to what i (and my contemporaries) have done that is wrong, because i can't figure it out. what is it? what justifies this abject rejection we experience? because back in the day where, if you'll pardon my selfishness, i felt like i meant something in this small fandom space, i can't imagine anything that's different to how i am now.

not to say i'm incapable of change. i am. we all are. what i mean is, bluntly, i liked pretty and shipped her with kaeloo the whole time. i didn't go around telling people but it's not like it was a secret. and as for creating nsfw content, i would save explaining myself for a real discussion with a real person, not talking aloud to myself on a public forum.

i look back at this brief interaction i had after i left stm, the server i created for myself and my fandom friends that had quickly ballooned beyond these intentions. passing ownership to random, who i trusted with this power at the time, and her sharing the parting words of some server members.

i wonder, was i missed?

"hopefully we'll get to see them here again someday" honestly, even now, i would love to rejoin stm. i just don't think it would love to have me. idk, maybe i'll ask random sometime. but also i've bothered her enough. but also it doesn't hurt to ask. but also– haha, see? caught in the cycle of trying over and over.

anyway on the off chance that this is being read by the person who sent this message

i will now take the time to reply, ignoring the abuse allegations and choosing to focus on the question at hand. yes they are gay. yes i am saying that. thank you for your inquiry. best wishes.

[mr-nauseam]

HI, so, I really wanted to learn more about the au you're writing, but one thing that have been keeping on my mind was: what do you think that'll happen in long term? in the sense of the second rebellion and the 74th games and stuff, do you think it'll still happen?

I wanted to answer this question today and it's at night, so there might be a bit of rambling in my answer but let's get started!

First thanks for the question!!! Also I've decided to call this Au: Suffocation Au so I can distinguish it from my other wips even if I don't talk about many of them, haha.

I have to admit that I don't have such long term plans, I usually enjoy open endings and not getting so involved with the events in THG but I do have some ideas of the future after the events that take place in Suffocation (one shot) and I will leave my hypothesis concerning the second rebellion and the 74th games at the end!

The Cardew family enters into crisis. On the one hand, they have no other biological heir, so they will have to give one day the power of the bank to another family, which will cause a lot of tension between the elite families and well, vultures.

The Cardew also demand a meticulous investigation, Livia's mother suspects at one point Coriolanus and there is a potential scandal when that happens Casca (who did not die because in this Au, Coriolanus returns to the capitol in another way) tries to support this hypothesis publicly, this rumor is silenced by the fortune of the Plinth (Sejanus specifically does and this is what makes Coriolanus finally murder Highbottom).

The wedding gift that Coriolanus gives to Sejanus is to murder Dr. Gaul, because in this au specifically Sejanus and Dr. Gaul have a history together of failed apprentice and teacher and a lot of shit happens between them, and Sejanus was very serious when he says that Gaul was in charge of ruining his life (house arrest and he was practicing gamemaker in what Coryo returned and other things).

Some former mentors are more vocal in their opinions against the games (Lysistrata Vickers in specific), and it takes longer for the inhabitants to adopt it as a show, instead of solely a punishment of war because Coryo doesn't immediately return to the capitol when he is sent to D12 and Gaul and Sejanus are not interested in making nice shows, but in fighting 24/7.

Snow not only kills political rivals to be president, he will also kill more people he thinks hurt Sejanus because since he didn't make a big deal about Dr. Gaul he thinks Sejanus approve it somehow, and there are some abandonment issues that Lucy Gray reinforced and he's really as dependent on Sejanus as Sejanus is on him.

The public opinion of the Snow-Plinth wedding is that it was out of pity for Sejanus, who by that point has a reputation for being mentally ill / unstable, this will interfere later with the possibility of an heir (lab baby).

Io Jasper is the head of Gaul's lab when she dies and I believe she could had many arguments with Snow.

About 2nd rebellion: I think the rebellion could have happened earlier, there are details make me believe that it is possible the Capitol is not a united front, able to offer the same comforts and unity among its inhabitants, and Katniss mentions how many people in the capitol from her perspective were there for personal vendettas and we know that if people lose their comfort, they are more willing to want things to change.

What I fear is that an earlier 2nd rebellion (maybe Haymitch games?), could be more problematic in many ways, and end in a very long war (lets remember the dont had the neccesary resources was a big thing in revolution dont be allowed to happen), the D13 would do its thing and I suppose that would affect in many ways. Your question definitely made me began to think about what it would be like!

I promise that if I structure this in a better text later I will share it, I hope I have still answered some questions you had? Thank you again for being interested in my au, I'm open to more questions if anybody want!

[meissalambda]

I'm part of the millennial crowd who grew up on Harry Potter and now as an adult have had it blown to bits by JK Rowling being a horrible person.

But I wanna talk a bit about why I write some of the things I write.

I have 2 accounts on ao3 and I do separate my stuff, not coz I'm weird about it or anything but mostly just coz they're so different.

I've been obsessed with Sirius and Remus for years and like most people took All The Young Dudes to heart and dived into that as a whole new canon without, hopefully, the problematic connotations. When I was growing up, teenaged self wanted to know so much more about those guys. POA was always my favourite. I loved werewolves because I have an invisible chronic illness and there's something that sings to me about people not seeing that in you until they do and people expecting things from you due to your diagnosis. I've been told many atime that i can't possibly be tired because I'm too young etc. I saw Remus tired and struggling and related so hard to that.

Sirius though. I fucking love Sirius. Sirius has a problematic family that I could relate with, a bad relationship with his mother, and friends that he could rely on (which I so desperately wanted). I wanted to read so much about his life and how he survived to see how I could too. He's a dude, I see him punk, wearing black with tattoos and his hair all over and it's just so much like I wanted to be but was sorta scared of the family disapproval?

It doesn't matter so much now I'm older but I don't want to stop writing them particularly because I guess there could be other people who wanted the same thing as me. And the community is still alive and well even though we all agree that she sucks.

But also, I guess, I want to give them some kind of happiness because as an adult I've learned to live with my chronic illness, learned to accept it, have found a partner who is wonderful and it's nice to write about people who are just a bit older getting by in the realest way I can while being in love.

If I can bring someone a bit of joy, that means the world to me. And getting out all of that teenage angst is like free therapy haha.

[mapsareforbraindeads]

17, 24, 29 for the ask game :3

17 — would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

lmao no. sure i have a vague outline of my personality, my hopes, my dreams, and a bunch of other stuff, but it’s natural for people to hide what they deem as the unappealing sides of them from their online audience. obviously i liveblog mental breakdowns and whatever but i never really get angry on here or talk about the actual negative impact i can have on the world sometimes. i just portray it as being a depressed kid instead of a genuinely problematic individual. so it’s the positive sides of me + mental illness but without the pieces of me that actually cause said mental illness.

24 — have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone?

yes, a few times. obviously, none of them lasted. next.

29 — three songs that you connect with right now.

alright i’ll try to give some varied (haha like my name) answers on this one.

average by sushi soucy because. yeah. just like me fr. i’m not gonna subject you to reasoning because i vent on this site enough for it to make sense

nothing ever changes by nico collins because the state of the world rn is depressing and i kin light. also because i’m trying to solidify my future plans and that means looking into the justice system (for criminal psychology, victim advocacy, yk the stuff i wanna do for a living) and it is not pretty. it’s also really hard to talk about and be taken seriously because i am both a teenager and a death note fan 😐

blossom by enhypen. obligatory enha answer but it is my current comfort song so i have to put it here. it’s my go-to when i have to blast something in my headphones and it makes me cry. i can’t relate to the lyrics at all (except maybe towards enha because it is kind of a fan song) but it still helps out.

[anonzentimes]

LONG ASS ASK INKOMING ZEN so its super cold in brazil today so typing is a little hard and there might be weird typos fkshdkjd but

when i was like 14 i had online friends that were also 14 and were into danganronpa but all they talked abt was the flaws of the series and how much they hated the more problematic aspects of it, it was a constant wave of gender discourse and sexuality discourse and nagito is a bad portrayal of mental illnesses and miu iruma is too sexual and this character is bad cause of xyz and that character is bad because of this and that and honestly whatever the fuck else you can argue about this series about, whenever i mentioned that danganronpa seemed fun and id like to get into it my friends would tell me that its not worth it, that the series is fucking horrid that i should run the other way and be glad i never entered the hellhole that is being a danganronpa fan

so thanks to this and like constant fucking weird shit coming out of the hell hole that is the fucking dr fandom on Twitter for like, four whole years I straight up didn't touch the series. a series that I was so fully aware that I would love btw, because i was always into gorey art and i found the art of dr so pretty and the characters had such intresting designs and the pink blood was so cool and i love the killing game genre and the mystery solving aspect, of danganronpa seemed so cool, i did not go near this series with a fucking 10-ft Pole

until literally maybe some months ago at 18 years old a streamer I like said on stream something like "oh yeah danganronpa is fucking awesome im so glad i played it" and I was like fuck it, this guy has high standards, if he likes it it cant be that bad. and so I downloaded trigger happy havoc and i was so pleasantly surprised by it, sure case 2 is a case that exists but like other than that i immediately fell in love with this franchise, i loved almost everything about the game, then i started sdr2 and nagito took over every single part of my brain within 0.2 seconds of gameplay AND DR2 IS SO PEAK JUST IN GENERAL udg was super fucking fun i love touko and komarus relationship and the warriors of hope so much, dr3 was awsome even if i didnt really care for future arc despair hope and 2.5 were awasome the end of drv3 hit me like a truck and it genuenly took me a couple hours to understand that my beloved class 77b wasnt just retconned out of existence and currently im trying to kill executive dysfunction and procrastination and read dr0 and again want to replay dr2 cause my hyperfixated ass would rather play the game when she should be alseep to know what happens next than play it when she isn't too tired to understand whats happening lmao

and after i was done with the series i sat down and thought about how i let 14 year olds on the internet who im not even friends with anymore keep me away from something that now i hold so dear and close to my heart, and i wonder how many people who would love danganronpa will never give the series a chance because not only does the wider interner find it cringe but the fandom constantly tell potential new fans to stay away and act like its the worst midea ever written, the way some people are unable to enjoy what they love without guilt is so sad because not only does it affect them but also others

and this is super personal but i wonder how danganronpa would have impacted me if i got into it back when i found out about it at 14, how much different having danganronpa to hang on to would have made my life when i was burning out at school because i was trying to survive neurodivergency hell with undiagnosed autism and possible adhd

dangabronpa is awsome i love it so so much

YOU JUST MADE ME FEEL SO UNBELIEVABLY YOUNG OH MY GOD. I HEARD ABOUT DANGANRONPA WHEN I WAS 11 I'M PRETTY SURE AHHHH HAHA!!! Overall I think this raises a good lesson that we should trust our guts and from our own opinions on media. Look into things you're curious about, learn if it's worth it yourself, and come to your own conclusions! I feel bad for those who never get to understand Nagito Komaeda, let alone know he exists. This franchise has some negatives but the positives outweigh the issues entirely to me and I wish people gave it more of a chance. dangabronpa is awsome INDEED lmfao.