#ill just have to stick to illustrating some scenes

[toastyyjams]

[p5 x omori au] final duet pt. 1

[chairteeth]

“Nemu Hiiragi: The Shadow”

The promised Magius Nemu essay arrives. I have given up on proper essay formatting and will simply leave my analyses in semi-rant form because my brain is too chaotic and goes on too many tangents. It cannot be tamed. Informal essay under the cut!

So. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has heard others refer to Nemu as a shadow, Touka 2.0, or some other frankly reductive term. Most of the time, unless her creations come up, she’s not discussed at all, and even then… barely. That’s not exactly surprising. Given Nemu’s normally calm demeanor, and the fact that she and Touka are joined at the hip, it’s only natural that Touka would be the one to get the most attention, the one who stands out. Where Touka is the boisterous sun, Nemu is the humble moon. Today, we turn our eyes to the moon.

There is so much to talk about when it comes to Magius Nemu and pretty much all of it is going to make you really sad. Much like Touka and all other magical girls, she led a double life the entire time, but in her case, when she “traded one terminal illness for another” she got the short end of the stick. Imagine being a writer and discovering that your magic allows you to give physical form to your stories, to breathe life into your creations—literally. Now picture finding out later down the line that each time you use it, it consumes so much magic that it shaves off pieces of your very life force. That’s one slap in the face. But, it gets worse.

Let me lay out everything we know about how Magius Nemu’s sacrifices affected her physically, and how each of the people around her responded to her worsening condition. First, we know it causes pain severe enough to temporarily affect her vision and speech, and severe enough to make her fall to the ground, though she doesn’t always faint from it. We know it inflicts exhaustion and that even something like releasing an uwasa for the first time can make her pass out on the spot, so presumably it’s a lengthy process that takes a toll on her at every stage (well not sure about conceptualization, but creation and release definitely do). A voiced example of one of these episodes is in Arc 1 Chapter 8, 4:02:36 - 4:03:43 if you're watching the video.

Now, as for the people around Nemu, starting from more distant to closest. Her family? Oblivious, responsible for her state of emotional deprivation and for several other issues. Alina? Ehh she seems to either not care or care very little, which is properly Alina-esque of her. Mifuyu? Oh let me talk about MIFUYU for a second. Disclaimer, despite her many sins committed against my favorite characters, I do love the sheep, she’s too much of a failure, I cannot hate her. But Mifuyu “I want to be a nurse” Azusa is insensitive beyond belief, and I was honestly surprised when they appointed her to be some sort of… ethics teacher for Touka? Bruh. You see, an MGS is supposed to put us in the shoes of whatever character it’s about. That’s what it does. However my brain is broken and perceives the world from a TouNemu perspective by default. Which means I had a completely different reading of Mifuyu’s MGS. I am going to illustrate my point with screenshots this time because I happen to have them on hand.

Mifuyu says this about Touka and Nemu getting worked up over Alina wanting to prioritize witches above rumors. But. Here’s the thing. The thing that Mifuyu seems to be missing completely. Rumors are created by Nemu, through a sacrifice of her own life force that worsens her pain and makes her suffer more with each subsequent use. Evidently, the girls reply that no, they don’t think they were getting too emotional.

YOU THINK? Have you given any thought to why that could possibly be the case, Mifuyu? But, okay, fine, we can look past this. Alright. Next scene, it’s Touka and Nemu being upset that Yachiyo just destroyed the Divorce Stairs (I call them that, but for clarification, it’s the Friendship-Ending Staircase). I’m going to bring something up that I don’t believe is exactly contradicted by canon, though not confirmed either, but I’d be willing to believe by the fact that Nemu knows of Iroha (by name and I assume appearance) that there’s a psychic link of some kind between the uwasa and their creator. That would make sense, considering they are made of her magic and have pieces of her life force. If this is true, then that massacre Iroha and Yachiyo go on during Arc 1 Chapter 7 is far, far worse.

But alright, back to the scene. Touka is standing up for Nemu here, and Mifuyu proceeds to go and dismiss their feelings because, as she says in her thoughts, “they’re just children”. Okay, Mifuyu, hear me out. They’re 11-12. They’re not toddlers. Just because they’re children doesn’t make their emotions invalid, unimportant, or not worth considering. Particularly in this case, where they have a good reason to be upset. Nemu even mentions the life force she’s using up and Mifuyu’s first and only thought is “Yacchan…” (this is a repeating pattern).

The next relevant scene is one where Mifuyu does something Alina has also done and Touka hasn't: ask Nemu to make a rumor for her.

Nemu reminds her that it comes at a cost, and that she’s using up her life for this. Nemu gives in, of course. I will talk about this imminently. First though, the final scene of Mifuyu’s MGS. Where Mifuyu repeats the previous pattern but worse. How exactly is it worse? I’ll let the screenshots speak for themselves here. Nemu and Mifuyu meet at the shrine where the uwasa is going to be released, Nemu does the deed, and faints, then Mifuyu reacts like this:

These screenshots are less than a second apart. It is the immediate follow-up. Absolutely zero concern for one of the people she’s supposed to be responsible for who just did her a pretty big favor (as if you needed someone’s blood to open a door, they stabbed themselves to get you the blood, and then you left them on the ground in pain). So yes Mifuyu is insensitive and she is not helping Nemu’s view of adults. Relatedly, before I move to talking about Touka, since I’d like to actually end this on a non-depressing note, I’m going to circle back a little to Nemu’s family.

I am infamous for not liking Nemu’s family. Her parents, mainly. Her brother, for as much of a snotty brat as he is to her, is presumably still very tiny and has had scarce interactions with his sister, therefore leading to the way Nemu describes their relationship (“strangers”). As a slight aside, Nemu does try very hard to have a relationship with her brother, not only in her MGS, but in her solo Christmas quotes where she’s lost on what to get as a gift for a kid that likes soccer and asks Homescreen-chan for advice. And you see, Nemu has this thing where once you get past a certain point with her, she becomes a people pleaser. Unlike when Ui’s parents have visited before (seen in TouNemu’s Christmas MGS), Nemu was shocked to hear that her mother and brother had come to see her. This leads me to believe the visits are an extremely rare occurrence and that there is no other contact besides them. Ui’s parents at least video call her, from what the quotes say.

And now we have reached the point where it’s unavoidable and I have to talk about Nemu’s emotional trauma. Her family does not seem to know about her writing, which was a good call because it shielded her from much of the gifted kid trauma. However, that doesn’t mean her parents’ actions (or lack thereof) were without consequence. A lot of these might be subconscious, so bear with me a second. At this point in the timeline, Nemu struggles to believe that others will meet her needs or care for her. She seeks affirmation, acceptance, approval, and fortunately seems to get it in the form of her website and Touka during this era.

Let me give you some examples of Nemu’s people-pleasing tendencies, as any kid would learn that catering to the needs and desires of others can sometimes lead to a sense of belonging or validation—she explicitly wants that, she is aware that she wants to feel loved. This is immensely obvious with her family’s visits, where her first reaction isn’t good but then she plays along and puts up a happier face (which drops literally as soon as her mother and brother are out of the room), even apologizing for the slightest inconvenience regardless of whether or not the reaction to that inconvenience was bad (the book that was hard to find, the general Presence™ of her family in the room, apologizes again for talking about her feelings, etc). So that she doesn’t have to burden them with her feelings. So that her mother can feel like she’s fulfilled her duty by walking into the room, giving Nemu a rundown of what the family has been up to, and leaving without really actually spending any real quality time with her or bothering to really ask about her. Touka gets (righteously) angry in Nemu’s stead once her mother and brother have left precisely because of this. Nemu proceeds to, like many children in her position, defend her parents completely and then chastise herself for “looking down on them”. Touka and Ui both understand at least the heart of the issues at play here, and express as much. My point here isn’t exactly “Nemu’s parents are equivalent to Sana’s” or anything, it’s more that they’re extremely oblivious and their actions (and lack thereof) have hurt Nemu deeply.

That habit Nemu’s parents have of never truly showing interest in their daughter’s life seems to remain after the hospital, and then they’re focused on her brother’s comfort. Not Nemu’s. Never Nemu’s. Then, later on, in the Wings of the Magius, every time someone asks her to make a rumor (read: sacrifice a piece of her life force and make herself feel physically worse presumably forever), she agrees. Mifuyu asks her to, yeah sure. Alina wants a rumor? Of course. I won’t count when everyone asked her for stuff to add to Fendt Hope solely because I’m not sure Fendt Hope works like normal rumors do. Something, something, difficulty setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, struggling to distinguish her own needs from the needs of others…

A child who learned that her voice and desires were not prioritized in such critical stages of her life naturally struggles to articulate her own needs and wants. Prime example, Fendt Hope’s creation. She listens to the others give their ideas for it, never suggesting anything herself after reminding them of her usefulness. Until. Touka asks. When she does, Nemu seems almost taken aback. She apologizes. Nothing comes to mind. That very same day, she gets home, tries again to have some sort of positive interaction or time with her brother, gets rejected. As soon as an alternative form of service (doing the dishes for her exhausted mother so that she may help her brother with homework) presents itself, she practically jumps at the opportunity. The scene after that one, with the way she views Touka, Alina, and Mifuyu, vs the way she views her mother and brother, only makes this more obvious. How is Nemu supposed to feel any sense of value at home? At least as a magical girl, she’s useful. At least as a Magius, she has people who know her. The feelings of low self-worth aren’t as obvious on Nemu as they are on many of the other girls who have them, though.

The next time there’s a Magius meeting, this time to decide on a name for their base, Touka is again the one who asks Nemu for her opinion. It’s important to note that Touka is never once hostile, aggressive, or even annoyed when she does this. She considers Nemu’s thoughts and feelings more than anyone. Heck, Nemu would have no way to doubt Touka’s care for her considering their history and the way she acts.

Now I get to talk about the relationship between Magius Nemu and Magius Touka. If I start gushing incoherently, I apologize in advance. I covered a bit of Magius Touka’s attitude towards Nemu in the essay dedicated to her, and slightly in this one, but now I want to draw attention to how incredibly sweet Touka can be when it comes to Nemu. Nemu desperately needs that reliability and that love Touka provides, the hope she brings. And Touka is the one person who openly shows her care, attention. Over and over again.

Touka considers Nemu an equal. During the main story, as I said in my Magius Touka essay, she shows concern for Nemu’s health and wellbeing when no one else does. This goes beyond her magic-given affliction! I only wish we had more bits and pieces from that era, but as for what we do have… Well, I have to point at Nemu’s swimsuit costume story for the easiest and shortest point of reference. I’d use screenshots, but if I did, I would just end up showing you every single piece of dialogue and expression.

In that costume story, Touka and Nemu are at Fendt Hope, talking about their future trip to the beach (which they made plans for together in Touka’s swimsuit costume story). Nemu has her insecurities, and she’s shy about putting on the swimsuit, but then Touka proceeds to be incredibly supportive by first making her feel comfortable—for some reason she also had her own swimsuit lying around and offered to wear it too because Nemu mentioned it’d be embarrassing if she was the only one wearing a swimsuit and Touka was wearing clothes—then as soon as Nemu expresses self-doubt, she doubles down via genuine compliments (these two compliment each other way more than you think, even in main story Touka praises Nemu for her ideas). This is also a rare occasion where we’re shown that Nemu’s parents, or her mom at least, who seems more present than her dad, mean no harm, since it was Nemu’s mother who helped pick out every element of her swimsuit. After that, Touka goes off to change back into her school uniform, and Nemu is “uncharacteristically giddy” (as she states) looking at herself in the mirror. Touka gets back, and Nemu is startled to have been caught in a vulnerable state, but, critically, Touka is happy to see her happy and doesn’t tease her, although Nemu (jokingly, blushing) laments that letting Touka read her heart is the greatest failure of her life. Nemu asks Touka to listen. And Touka complies. Nemu trusts Touka with her heart, with her honest feelings, and knows Touka will never hurt her. That’s why she’s able to be so sincere with her. This is shown in Nemu’s Tap 8 quote, where she also refers to Touka as trustworthy (Touka has a matching Tap 8 quote, and hers is about how reliable Nemu is for her). This relationship, no matter what it is, is deeply important to both participants.

Finally, to end this glorified rant… I know I used the sun and moon metaphor earlier, but. I would like to borrow the words of Nemu in one of my fics: “It’s silent at night. Touka stays up with her telescope, I stay up reading nearby. We are stardust brought to life. A quiet place, just for us. The gentlest fire in us, like binary stars.” (I’m sorry but the binary stars comparison is too good not to mention). Their connection was there before the Magius, and after everything they went through, their lives became irreversibly bound, intertwined beyond the understanding of quite literally anyone else. They practically always speak in plural, the time they spend together has been on the rise, and at the time of writing? To avoid spoiling Arc 2 Chapter 12, I won’t go into specifics, but the relationship has reached a beautiful point that I will froth at the mouth about eventually.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the Nemu essay, I went slightly more feral this time so apologies for that. I’ll see how soon the hospital era essay can be thrown into the wild. Nishi out!

[literarygoon]

Scotch Creek raft guides publish historical opus about legendary bootlegger

The Ballad of Shuswap Joe will be available for purchase from Adams River Rafting

SCOTCH CREEK, B.C. — There are still some people who haven’t heard about the Great Distillery Explosion of 1927, which happened deep in the woods just outside of Scotch Creek nearly a century ago.

An event shrouded in violence and mystery, it was the end result of a ruthless campaign by the American FBI to arrest legendary bootlegger and folklore hero Shuswap Joe. That was the night our hero escaped Gatling gun fire by jumping into an empty hooch barrel, using a stick for guidance as he bobbed down the creek to safety. And it’s that scene that’s been immortalized on the cover of newly published creative non-fiction book The Ballad of Shuswap Joe, which goes on sale at Adams River Rafting at the end of June and throughout the summer.

“Since I took over Adams River Rafting over two decades ago, we’ve always told stories about Shuswap Joe with our clients during our daily bus talks. But I’m not a historian and at first I didn’t have any way to verify the information we were sharing. Then I had the great privilege of meeting Shuswap Joe Jr. Jr. years ago, shortly before he died, and it’s through him that we learned about his great grandfather’s amazing exploits at the River Eel Saloon during the Prohibition era,” said Clif Garcia, owner of Adams River Rafting.

“Then in 2018, two of my guides became interested in learning more about Shuswap Joe and I didn’t have the answers they were looking for. I was eventually able to connect them with some of Joe’s remaining relatives, and guide them to some relevant newspaper articles in the Scotch Creek archives, and at that point, it seemed like the story took on a life of its own — kind of like a river does.”

Those two guides were Will Johnson and Ronan Redel, a journalist and a historian who teamed up to resurrect Joe’s story through prose and painting. There were scant surviving photos of Joe, a few weather-beaten newspaper articles about his conflict with the FBI, and a particularly profane drinking song with lyrics laden with historical hints. Johnson and Redel quickly learned that Shuswap Joe’s impact on the local community is still keenly felt nearly a century later. He arrived sometime around 1918, became the proprietor of the River Eel Saloon in 1924 and survived the Great Distillery Explosion of 1927. And it’s this particular era of Shuswap Joe’s life that has been captured in The Ballad of Shuswap Joe. Told in five parts, the narrative follows the folk hero right from birth through to his ascendancy in the Scotch Creek underworld.

“I think the thing that fascinated us most about Shuswap Joe is all the contradictions. He was a benevolent, caring giant but somehow became the sole proprietor of the largest bootlegging operation the community has ever seen. He hated guns, but he was perfectly happy to break someone’s fingers in a bar fight if they looked at him the wrong way. I got the sense right away that we were dealing with a tortured soul, someone who really struggled to find his purpose in life,” said Redel, who illustrated the cover based on an archival photo published by the Scotch Creek Miner in early 1928.

“In a way, through this process I think we all came to fall in love with him a little bit. He was hilariously ill-suited for human society, yet he had the deepest reservoir of love for the people in his life who mattered. Really, I don’t think he ever fully emotionally recovered from what the FBI put him and the Scotch Creek community through all those years ago. But he kept going, which is all you can do in life. That’s the message his life has for me.”

For Johnson, this project was personal.

“At first I was fascinated by Joe’s story simply because it had all the makings of myth. When we first learned that he’d been discovered as a baby on the Adams River like Moses, I almost couldn’t believe it. There’s a spiritual significance to his story, and it’s difficult to tease out of times, but I think he makes a good role model for all of us who value authenticity. He was himself, right to the end,” said Johnson.

“Then we started going through his family history, and discovered the unthinkable — I was actually distantly related to Joe, through his son’s third child. We didn’t have the same last name anymore, but the resemblance was striking. He had broad shoulders and a tri-coloured beard, just like me, and an affinity for plaid. I remember the moment when Ronan and I learned the truth. The look that passed over our faces said it all: this is fate.”

**

The Ballad of Shuswap Joe will be available for sale from the Adams River Rafting office this summer for $20 a copy. To request an interview with the authors, please contact literarygoon@gmail.com. For more information, visit adamsriverrafting.com and literarygoon.tumblr.com.

The Literary Goon

[aurorawest]

Title: A Full and Factual Account of Asgard Author: @aurorawest​ Rating: M (language, violence, sexual content) Relationships: Loki & Thor, Loki & Stephen Strange Major Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings Word Count (so far): 130.7k Summary: Together, Loki and Thor reopened the Bifrost, replanted the World Tree on Earth, and established a new Observatory in New Asgard. But the Sons of Odin have a debt to pay to the Nine Realms: both Asgard’s debt and their own, and they intend to offer their aid and service to each of the remaining Realms.

The emergence of an ancient evil changes all of that. Now, the Odinsons are in a race against time and a being they don’t understand—a being that has the power to destroy the universe as they know it.

So: same old same old. Right?

Thank you my beta, @mareebird​!

This chapter also features art by the wonderful @kestrelii​, who was kind enough to illustrate a scene! Thank you so very much!!

Chapter 28 is posted!

Loki glanced out the viewscreen again, then back to Strange. “How are you feeling?” he asked. The jump didn’t seem to be having any ill effects. If it had, Strange had probably slept it off by now.

“Like I just did some bad acid,” Strange said, rubbing at his hair. It was sticking up, especially in the back, which was…endearing. “What was in that stuff?”

“I have no idea,” Loki replied. “I suppose I’m glad you woke up.”

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[theskaminator]

Ranking the SKAM Remakes!  

Hi! This is my first ever time posting on Tumblr so I felt like it would be good to introduce myself. And what better way to do that on an account dedicates to SKAM than talk about my favourite remakes! This list goes from 7th to 1st place with 1 being the best.

In dead last…: SKAM FRANCE 🇫🇷: If you would’ve asked me what my favourite remake was 2 years ago, this one definitely would’ve been up there. The original actors were so perfect and the storylines felt totally realistic and relatable to me, despite being quite similar to the original SKAM. In season 3 when Eliott talks to Lucas about his bipolar and how with a mental illness you have good days and bad days, I felt totally seen. It felt like Eliott was speaking my truth. And then the original seasons came. I really season 5, in fact it’s my favourite season of the show. Season 6 was pretty good too, but after that the show just lost its appeal to me. It just feels like they pump out some random ‘big’ social issue for dramatic effect at the start of the season and expand on it a bit and then just go back to scenes of the Mif. And season 8, that was honestly just a mess. We didn’t even get to see Bilal in his new house! I’ve not seen seasons 9 or 10 yet but I don’t even know if I should bother. The show doesn’t feel like SKAM anymore and more like a French Euphoria. Do you guys think I should watch seasons 9 or 10? Tell me in the comments.

6th Place: WTFOCK 🇧🇪: For me, this remake is always pretty good. It’s never really been my favourite but I can see the appeal for others; it’s cute and Sobbe really do have great chemistry. But my issues for this show lie in 2 of its seasons: seasons 1 and 4. Personally, season 1 is always the hardest SKAM season to watch, I don’t know why but I never seem to properly connect with the Eva characters. But with Jana, I didn’t connect at all. I found her really annoying and whiney and she just made the season really difficult and boring to follow. Seasons 2 and 3 of this show are great, in fact I’d go as far to say that this show had the best season 2. But then we had season 4. I think it’s cool that they introduced Kato as a new character but her season was pretty bad. They had so much potential to give us a season about the differences between Instagram and reality, or even expand on Kato’s self harm a little bit more than just those 2 scenes. For me, watching the season didn’t really excite me at all. I liked season 5 though, even though Yasmin’s didn’t get the completely best ending, it did really well at illustrating how POC are pretty much always dealt the short end of the stick.

5th Place: Druck 🇩🇪: I don’t know what it was about this remake but I just never felt like it was giving me too much like the others. It’s a good solid remake that dares to be creative a bit whilst still staying true to the source material, but apart from that, that’s all I can really say about it. I liked Druck’s idea of giving a trans character the spotlight in season 3 and exploring the world of trans rights in German schools but the rest of this remake just feels so ‘meh’. It all just kinda fell flat and was really underwhelming. At the new seasons in this show still have an ounce of SKAM blood in them, I can actually kind of relate to some of the characters. In season 7 when Kieu My was talking about her struggles accepting her bisexuality, I totally understood what she felt because I’ve had very similar struggles with my sexuality. The new of seasons of Druck, like the original seasons, show a character developing and growing which is something I really like. Overall this show is a good solid remake, just a bit boring and flat in parts. 4th Place: SKAMNL 🇳🇱: This remake was so cute!! I’m currently watching it just now and it’s totally adorable! The girl squad seem to get on really well and they always have each other’s backs. My main criticism of the show is it’s season 2. Honestly, the guy who replaces Eskild just annoys me so much! He doesn’t seem as cool and supportive as the original and the whole vibe of the flatshare just feels off. Despite being adorable, season 2 just has really weird vibes and I’m not really a fan.

3rd Place: SKAM España 🇪🇸: The one thing I’m commending this show for is its inventiveness. It added so many differences to the original show that it was genuinely super interesting to watch. This show had one of the only few Eva seasons that I didn’t dislike. I also like the changes they made to seasons 3 and 4 and I felt like they were excellently done, perfect! Also Alejandro was so chill and the only William that I didn’t think was a toxic asshole! But then we had season 2. I loved the fact that they gave us sapphic representation and let it be a couple of 2 girls instead of another 2 skinny white boys kissing. As someone who likes girls themself, it was really great to finally see the representation that I’d been so needing from the skamverse. Unfortunately for me, the season just fell flat. It just felt the entire time like something was missing. It just felt kinda boring and uninteresting compared to the other Evak seasons. I’m really glad they made the season not spicy though and they managed to craft a cute love story without making it oversexualised. It was a pretty good show, but season 2 was kinda boring at points.

2nd Place: SKAM Austin 🇺🇸: This remake is so adorable it just makes my heart smile so much sjdjfhfgfhdjidjdhd. I really loved how cute and adorable everything was, especially Kelsey, she literally has my heart. Kelsey was definitely the best Vilde, now of course she has her moments but she’s so lovely and so supportive of everyone and I really liked her. I really enjoyed seeing how an American version of the show turned out and it’s honestly just awesome. The only criticism I really have of SKAM Austin is that because it’s American and it’s very American, I didn’t really relate fully to the characters and stories as much as I could have would it have been another European remake.

1st Place 🥇: SKAM ITALIA!!!!!!!!!! 🇮🇹: This show is perfect! The acting, the cinematography, everything is just beautiful. I really liked all of the seasons in this show and I’m glad they did them in the ways they did. In season 1 we saw Eva develop into a really good friend. In season 2, we saw Martino and Niccolò develop a beautiful romance but we were also shown what it’s like to be gay in Italy. It’s awful, we fear for our lives because the country isn’t necessarily the most accepting, especially the older generations. Season 3 was great too, Ele was given the time and space she needed to process her sexual assault and I’m glad that the show let her come to her boyfriend to talk about what happened instead of making her have the words taken from her mouth. In season 4, they managed to humanise Sana in a way that the other remakes didn’t. I love this show and I really hope they don’t ruin it with the original season that they announced at the start of the year.

[cassandraclare]

Cassandra Jean’s illustration for this month’s Chain of Gold flash fiction — this one’s about Will and Gideon, and features James, Thomas and Jesse as little kids. It’s a two-parter, so here’s part one!

LONDON, 1889

Will Herondale was full of Christmas spirit, and Gideon Lightwood found it very annoying.

It wasn’t just Will, actually; he and his wife Tessa had both been raised in mundane circumstances until they were nearly adults, and so their memories of Christmas were of fond family memories and childhood delights. They came alive with it when the city of London did, as it did every year.

Gideon’s memories of Christmas were mostly about overcrowded streets, overrich food, and over-inebriated mundane carolers who needed to be saved from London’s more dangerous elements as they caroused all night, believing all trouble and wickedness was gone from the world right up until they were eaten by Kapre demons disguised as Christmas trees. Just for example.

Born and raised a Shadowhunter, Gideon, of course, did not celebrate Christmas, and had always borne London’s obsession with the holiday with bemused indifference. He had resided in Idris for most of his adult life, where the winter had a kind of Alpine profundity, and there was nary a Christmas wreath or cracker to be found. Winter in Idris felt more solemn than Christmas, so much older than Christmas. It was a strange facet of Idris: where most Shadowhunters ended up celebrating the holidays of their local mundanes, at least the ones that spilled out into street decorations and public festivals, Idris had no holidays at all. Gideon never wondered about this; it seemed obvious to him that Shadowhunters didn’t take days off. It was the blessing and the curse of being one, after all. You were a Shadowhunter all the time.

No wonder some couldn’t bear it, and left for a mundane life. Like Will Herondale’s father Edmund, in fact.

Perhaps that was why Will’s Christmas spirit annoyed him so. He’d come to like Will Herondale, and consider him a good friend. He hoped that when their children were older they too would become friends, if Thomas was all right by then. And he knew Will deliberately presented himself as silly and rather daft, but that he was a sharp and observant Institute head, and a more-than-capable fighter of demons.

But when Will insisted on taking them all to see the window displays at Selfridge’s, he could not help but worry that perhaps Will had a fundamentally unserious mind after all.

“Oxford Street? Days before Christmas? Are you mad?”

“It will be a lark!” Will said, with the slight lilt into his Welsh accent that meant he was a little too excited for his own good. “I’ll take James, you take Thomas, we’ll have a stroll. Have a drink at the Devil on the way back, what?” He clapped Gideon on the back.

It had been a long time since Gideon was last in England. As one of the Consul’s most trusted advisors, Gideon not only lived in Idris but rarely found opportunity to leave. He also remained so that his son Thomas could breathe the healthy air of Brocelind Forest, and not the air of this filthy, foggy city.

This filthy, foggy city, his father’s voice echoed in his mind, and Gideon was too weary to silence his father’s voice as he usually did whenever Benedict crept in. More than ten years dead, yet he had not shut up.

His brother Gabriel lived in Idris, too, and for less obvious reasons. Perhaps it was not only the bad air; perhaps they both were happier with a good distance between them and Benedict Lightwood’s house. And the knowledge that its current resident would barely speak with either of them.

But now Gideon had come to London, with Thomas, just the two of them, leaving Sophie and the girls behind. He needed advice about Thomas, people with whom he could discuss the problem discreetly. He needed to talk to Will and Tessa Herondale, and he needed to talk to a very specific Silent Brother who was often found in their vicinity.

Just now he was wondering if that had been a good idea. “A good bracing walk” was exactly the kind of English nonsense he’d half-expected Will to suggest for Thomas, but “a good bracing walk down the most crowded shopping street in London three days before Christmas” was a level of nonsense he had not been prepared for. “I can’t take Thomas through that crowd,” he said to Will. “He’ll get knocked around.”

“He isn’t going to get knocked around,” said Will scornfully. “He’ll be fine.”

“Besides,” said Gideon, “we’ll get looks. Mundane fathers don’t usually walk their babies in prams, you know.”

“I shall carry my son upon my shoulders,” said Will, “and you carry yours on yours, and Angel protect anyone who complains about it. Fresh London air would do all of us some good. And the windows are meant to be a spectacle, this year.”

“Fresh London air,” said Gideon dryly, “is thick as molasses and the color of pea soup.” But he acquiesced.

He had left Thomas in the nursery, where Tessa kept a watch over him and James. A full year older than James, Thomas wasn’t always good at understanding what James could and couldn’t do or understand. Tessa had been concerned that James would end up hurt. Gideon, though, was more concerned about Thomas, who was still smaller than James, despite the difference in their ages. He was paler than James, too, and less sturdy. He had only recently recovered from the latest of his terrible fevers, which had brought a Silent Brother, unfamiliar to them, to their house in Alicante to examine him. After a time the Silent Brother declared that Thomas would recover, and left without any further conversation.

But Gideon wanted answers. As he picked up Thomas now, he couldn’t help but think about how the boy was hardly any weight at all. He was the smallest of all “the boys,” as Gideon thought of them – of James, and his brother’s son Christopher, and Charlotte’s son Matthew. He had been born early, and small. They had been terrified the first time he caught fever, convinced it was the end.

Thomas hadn’t died, but he hadn’t fully recovered either. He remained delicate, weak of constitution, quick to illness. Sophie had fought harder than anyone to drink from the Mortal Cup and become a Shadowhunter, but now she was forced to fight a far worse battle against death by their son’s bedside. Over and over again.

Sighing, he took his son to fetch their coats for their bracing Christmas walk.

#

As expected, Oxford Street was a madhouse of pedestrian shoppers, carriages, gawkers, and menacing groups of roaming carolers. Gideon would just as soon have glamoured them all invisible from mundane eyes (although one of the groups of carolers were obviously werewolves, who had exchanged Acknowledging Looks with Gideon), but Will of course wished to bask in the experience.

James also seemed mostly intrigued by the noise and lights, giggling and yelping at the merry scene around them. A London boy from birth, thought Gideon, and then thought, well, but I was a London boy from birth, and this is too much commotion for my liking. For his own part, Thomas was quiet, watching with wide eyes, clutching onto his father’s shoulders. Gideon wasn’t sure how weakened Thomas still was from the last fever and how much he was overwhelmed by the crowds. In some ways, when he wasn’t sick, Thomas could be guilt-inducingly easy to care of; he rarely made a fuss, just looked out into the world with those large hazel eyes, as if aware of his own helplessness and hoping not to be noticed.

Will waited until after they had already joined the crowds at the windows of Selfridge’s and Will had made a number of nonsensical exclamations of delight of the “By Jove!” variety. He had held James right up to the glass to examine the scenes in detail, which seemed to revolve around some blond children ice skating on a river. Gideon had pointed things out to Thomas, who had smiled.

Only once they had stopped to purchase some hot cider from a man hawking it down a side street did Will say, “I heard about Tatiana’s son Jesse. Dreadful business. Have you spoken to her?”

Gideon shook his head. “I haven’t spoken to Tatiana in nearly ten years, or been back to the house.”

Will made a sympathetic noise.

“I don’t think it’s a coincidence,” said Gideon.

“What?” Will said.

“A coincidence,” said Gideon. “That both her and I have children who are—sickly.”

“Gideon,” said Will reasonably, “forgive me for saying so, but that is a load of codswallop.” Gideon blinked at him. “For one thing, you have your beautiful daughters, neither of whom were more than usually ill when they were babies. For another, all of what happened to your father was his own doing, and happened long after you were born, and neither you or Gabriel were sickly.”

Gideon shook his head. Will was so kind, so eager to spare him the consequences of his family’s sins. “You don’t know the extent of it,” he said. “The extent of Benedict’s experiments with dark magic.  They were ongoing, from as long as I can remember. The demon pox just sticks in the memory, because it is rather lurid.”

“And also we were there,” said Will, “when he turned into a giant worm.”

“Also that,” said Gideon grimly. “But two sickly sons, small and frail—I cannot say with certainty that it is a coincidence, that it has nothing to do with the depredations of my father. I cannot risk the possibility.” He looked at Will imploringly. “It took Jesse years to become ill,” he said, “and Thomas has been ill so much already.”

There was a profound silence. Quietly, Will said, “You sound as if you mean to do something.”

“I do,” said Gideon with a sigh. “I must look at my father’s papers, his records of what he called his “work”. They are at Chiswick, and I must go and ask Tatiana for them.”

“Will she see you?” said Will.

Gideon shook his head again. “I don’t know. I hoped her anger would cool, over time, and her resentment. I hoped the fact that the Clave gifted her with all my father’s wealth and possessions would help her find peace.”

“Well,” said Will, “if you go, you absolutely must leave Thomas with us.”

“You wouldn’t want him to meet his aunt?” Gideon said innocently.

Will looked at him seriously. “I wouldn’t want him, or any of my children, on the grounds of that house!”

Gideon was taken aback. “Why? What’s she done to it?”

Will said darkly, “It’s what she hasn’t done.”

#

Gideon could see Will’s point. Tatiana hadn’t done anything to the house. Nothing to change, or clean, or preserve it in any way. Rather than restoring it or redecorating it to her own tastes, Tatiana had simply allowed it to rot, blackening and collapsing in on itself, a ghastly monument to Benedict Lightwood’s ruination. The windows were clouded, as though fog were seething indoors; the maze, a black and twisted wreckage. When he opened the front gate, the hinges screamed like a tortured soul.

It did not bode well for the emotional state of its resident.

When Benedict Lightwood died in disgrace from the late stages of demon pox, and the full history of his infamy was revealed to the Clave, Gideon laid low. He didn’t want to answer questions, or hear false sympathy for the damage done to his family name. He shouldn’t have cared. He’d known the truth of his father already. Yet it stung his pride, when he shouldn’t have had any pride left in his besmirched name.

The houses and the fortune were taken away from Benedict’s children by order of the Clave. Gideon could still remember when he had found out that Tatiana had brought a complaint against him and against Gabriel for the “murder” of their father. The Clave had first confiscated their possessions, and finally laid out the situation: Tatiana Blackthorn had petitioned the Clave for Benedict’s fortune to be given to her, as well as the Lightwood’s ancestral house in Chiswick. She was a Blackthorn now, not the bearer of a tainted name. She made many accusations against her brothers in the process. The Clave said they understood that Gideon and Gabriel had had no choice but to slay the monster their father had become, yet if they were to speak of technical truth only, Tatiana might be considered correct. The Clave was inclined to give Tatiana the full Lightwood inheritance, in hopes of settling the matter.

“I will fight this,” Charlotte had told Gideon, her small hands tight upon his sleeve and her mouth set.

“Charlotte, don’t,” Gideon begged. “You have so many other battles to fight. Gabriel and I don’t need any of that tainted money. This doesn’t matter.”

The money hadn’t mattered, then.

Gabriel and Gideon discussed the matter, and decided not to contest her claims. Their sister was a widow. She could live in the former Lightwood manor at Chiswick in England, and at Blackthorn Manor in Idris, and welcome. Gideon hoped she and her son would be happy. As it was, Gideon’s memories of the house were, at best, ambivalent.

Now he waited at the front door, its paint mostly peeled off, with deep gouges here and there, as though some wild animal had tried to get in. Maybe Tatiana locked herself out at some point. After a time it swung open, but waiting behind it was not his sister but a ten year old boy, looking somber. He had the midnight black hair of the father he’d never met, but he was tall for his age, willow-thin, with green eyes.

Gideon blinked. “You must be Jesse.”

The boy narrowed his eyes. “Yes,” said the boy. “Jesse Blackthorn. Who are you?”

Jesse, his nephew, after all this time. Gideon had asked so many times to see Jesse when he was a child. He and Gabriel had tried to go to Tatiana when she had the child, but she turned them both away.  

Gideon took a deep breath. “Well,” he said. “I’m your Uncle Gideon, as it happens. I am very glad to make your acquaintance at last.” He smiled. “I was always hoping for it.”

Jesse’s expression did not improve. “Mama says you are a very wicked man.”

“Your mother and I,” Gideon said with a sigh, “have had a very…complicated history. But family should know one another, and fellow Shadowhunters, as well.”

The boy continued to stare at Gideon, but his face softened a bit. “I have never met any other Shadowhunters,” he said. “Other than Mama.”

Gideon had thought about this moment many times, but now found himself struggling for words. “You are…you see…I wanted to tell you. We have heard that your mother doesn’t want you to take Marks. You should know…we are family first, always. And if you don’t wish to take Marks, the rest of your family will support you in that decision. With the—the other Shadowhunters.” He wasn’t sure if Jesse even knew the word Clave.

Jesse looked alarmed. “No! I will. I want to! I’m a Shadowhunter.”

“So is your mother,” murmured Gideon. He felt a slight twinge of possibility there. Tatiana could have disappeared like Edmund Herondale, abandoned Downworld entirely, lived as a mundane. Shadowhunters did, sometimes; though Edmund had done it for love, Tatiana might do it out of hatred. That she had not gave Gideon hope, although, he was sure, foolish hope.

He knelt down, to be closer to the boy. He hesitated, then reached out for Jesse’s shoulder. Jesse stepped back, casually avoiding the touch, and Gideon let it go. “You are one of us,” he said quietly.

“Jesse!” Tatiana’s voice came from the top of the entrance stairs. “Get away from that man!”

As if prodded with a needle, Jesse leapt away from Gideon’s reach and retreated without a further word into the shadowed recesses of the house.

Gideon stared in horror as his sister Tatiana drifted down the stairs. She wore a pink gown more than ten years old. It was stained with blood he well knew was more than ten years old as well. Her face was drawn and pinched, as though her scowl had been etched there, unchanged for years.

Oh, Tatiana. Gideon was flooded with a strange amalgamation of sympathy and revulsion. This is long past grief. This is madness.

His little sister’s green eyes rested on him, cold as if he were a stranger. Her smile was a knife.

“As you can see, Gideon,” she said. “I dress for company. You never know who might drop by.”

Her voice, too, was changed: rough and creaking with disuse.

“Have you come to apologize?” Tatiana went on. “You will not find exoneration, for the things you have done. Their blood is on your hands. My father. My husband. Your hands, and your brother’s hands.”

And how was that? Gideon wanted to ask her. He had not killed her husband. Their father had done that, transformed by disease into a dreadful demonic creature.

But Gideon felt the shame and the guilt, as well as the grief, as he knew she intended him to. He had been the first to cut ties with his father, and with his father’s legacy. Benedict had taught them all to stick together, no matter what the cost, and Gideon had walked away. His brother had stayed, until he saw proof of their father’s corruption he couldn’t deny.

His sister remained even now.

“I am sorry you blame us,” said Gideon. “Gabriel and I have only ever wished for your good. Have you—have you read our letters?”

“I never was fond of reading,” murmured Tatiana.

She inclined her head, and after a moment Gideon realized this was the closest she would get to inviting him in. He stepped across the threshold nervously and, when Tatiana did not immediately shout at him, he continued inside.

Tatiana led him to what had once been their father’s office, a sculpture in dust and rot. He averted his eyes from the torn wallpaper, catching a glimpse of writing on the wall that read WITHOUT PITY.

“Thank you for seeing me,” Gideon said as he took a seat across the desk from her. “How is Jesse?”

“He is very delicate,” said Tatiana. “Nephilim like yourself wish to put Marks on him, because they are intent on killing my boy as they have killed everyone else I love. You sit on the Council, do you not? Then you are his enemy. You may not see him.”

“I would not force Marks on the boy,” protested Gideon. “He’s my nephew. Tatiana, if he is that ill, perhaps he should see the Silent Brothers? One of them is a close friend, and could come to Jesse at our house. And Jesse could know his cousins.”

“Mind your own house, Gideon,” Tatiana snapped. “Nobody expects your son to live to Jesse’s age, do they?”

Gideon fell silent.

“I expect you want Jesse to marry one of your penniless daughters,” Tatiana went on.

Now Gideon was more confused than offended. “His first cousins? Tatiana, they are all very young children—”

“Father planned alliances for us, when we were children.” Tatiana shrugged. “How ashamed he would be of you. How is your grubby servant?”

Gideon would have struck any man who spoke of Sophie so. He felt the rage and violence he’d known as a child storm within him, but he’d desperately taught himself control. He exercised every bit of that control now. This was for Thomas.

“My wife Sophia is very well.”

His sister nodded, almost pleasantly, but the smile quickly became a grimace. “Enough pleasantries, then. You came to Chiswick for a reason, did you not? Out with it. I know what it is already. Your son is like to die, and you want money for filthy Downworlder remedies. You’re here as a beggar, cap in hand. So beg me.”

It was strange: Tatiana’s obvious, undeniable insanity made her insults and imprecations undeniably easier to bear. What was she even saying? What Downworlder remedies? How could remedies be filthy?

Had Benedict destroyed Tatiana as well? Or would she always have been like this? Their mother had killed herself because their father passed on a demon’s disease to her. Their father had died of the same sickness, in disgrace and horror. Will Herondale could dismiss it all as nonsense, but could it be a coincidence that Tatiana’s son, and his son, were both sickly? Or was it some weakness in their very blood, some punishment from the Angel who had seen what the Lightwoods truly were and passed his judgment upon them?

“I need no money,” Gideon said. “As you well know, the Silent Brothers are the best of doctors, and their services are always freely available to me. As they are to you,” he added with emphasis.

“What, then?” Tatiana said. Her head cocked slightly.

“Father’s papers,” Gideon said in a rush of expelled breath. “His journals. I think that the cause of my son’s illness might be found there.” He found he didn’t want to say Thomas’s name in front of his sister, as though she might decide to conjure with it.

“A man you betrayed?” Tatiana spat. “You have no right to them.”

Gideon bowed his head to his sister. He had been prepared for this. “I know,” he lied. “I agree. But I need them, for the sake of my child. You have Jesse. Whatever our differences, you must understand that we could both love our children, at least. You must help me, Tatiana. I beg you.”

He’d thought Tatiana would smile, or laugh cruelly, but she only gazed at him with the impassive, mindless stare of a dangerous snake.

“And what will you do for me?” she said. “If I do help?”

Gideon could guess. Get the Clave to leave her alone, to let her do as she wished with Jesse, for one thing. But in Tatiana’s madness, who knew what she would come up with.

“Anything,” he said hoarsely.

He lifted his head and looked at her, at his mother’s green eyes in his sister’s pitiless face. Tatiana, who would always break her toys rather than share them. There was something missing in her, as there had been in their father.

Now she did smile. “I have just the task in mind,” she said.

Gideon braced himself.

“On the other side of the road from this estate,” Tatiana said, “is a mundane merchant. This man has a dog, of an unusual size and vicious temperament. Quite often he lets the dog run free in the neighborhood, and of course he comes straight here to make mischief.”

There was a long pause. Gideon blinked. “The dog?”

“He is always making trouble on my property,” Tatiana snarled. “Digging up my garden. Killing the songbirds.”

Gideon was utterly positively sure that Tatiana did not keep a garden. He had seen the state of the grounds on his way in, left to crumble as a monument to disaster no less than the house itself.

There were definitely no songbirds.

“He’s made a disaster of the greenhouse,” she went on. “He knocks over fruit trees, he throws rocks through windows.”

“The dog,” Gideon said again, to clarify.

Tatiana fixed her piercing gaze on him. “Kill the dog,” she said. “Bring me the proof you have done this, and you will have your papers.”

There was a very long silence.

Gideon said, “What?”

[springfieldblues]

my long ass review for S32E03 Now Museum, Now You Don’t

warning: LONG because i rambled about history more than i thought i would

id been looking forward to this one because i like art history, especially after seeing how they tried their best to stick to historical accuracy in the previous episode I, Carumbus. this time however….they didnt try that hard. i dont know why i thought theyd go through that sort of trouble again LMAO

but its okay, i dont really expect the simpsons to be the paragon of historical accuracy or anything. especially in anthology episodes told through a particular character's lens (in this case, lisa, whos already feverish so whatever)

first i just wanna say that this is, i guess, less of a review and more of an accidental list of history fun facts. so im just gonna get my general thoughts out of the way first.

the episode was fun! to me at least haha. i mean it got me to think and do a lot of research on my own so that must count for something. besides a couple of really weird ones, the jokes were good. anthology episodes tend to be….not that good but i thought this one was one of the better ones so far. idk.

anyway on to lisanardo da vinky its the renaissance! jesus christ the italian accents in the beginning of this segment were annoying as hell but i also feel like that was the joke lmao. ill be real i kind of tuned out for a second there when grampa started rambling so idk what he said.

i told myself i wouldnt get nitpicky with historical accuracy if the jokes were funny (final edit: so that was a lie) but this meh bit with the pizza guys and mascots was really not worth ignoring the fact that its impossible for italy to have any tomato-based food in the 15th century (tomatoes were brought to europe from the americas in the 16th century, and pizza as we know it today—flatbread, cheese, tomato—originated in the late 18th century)

oh this next part was kind of legit tho. lisanardo, like the real leonardo, became andrea del verrochio's apprentice at his workshop. i loved this next bit:

"Whoever paints the sweetest cherub will have the honor of having MY name signed on their work. That's what great artists do!"

SO YEAH as it turns out, lisanardo painted the sweetest cherubs. the painting here is called The Baptism of Christ, and the real leonardo assisted verrochio in finishing it. specifically, he painted the cherubs in the corner.

this causes verrochio to quit and go someplace with less talented people: a music school (yes, verrochio did quit painting after getting owned by young leo and his mad angel painting skills. he never did anything with music tho, he was more of a sculptor)

alongside lisanardo, in mr largo-verrochio's workshop we have barticelli (botticelli bart), dolphatello (donatello dolph), ralphael (raphael...ralph) and mediocrito (no one that i know of. sorry milhouse) (and kearney i guess but they dont refer to him by name). botticelli and donatello are said to have also been apprentices at verrochio's workshop, but raphael came a couple of decades later so he couldnt have been there. and donatello was too old so that claim is a bit questionable. but anyway

it IS true that leonardo's peers envied him, to the point where he was anonymously and purposefully accused of being gay (a major crime punishable by death in 15th century florence) while he was still working at verrochio's workshop

we are then treated by what im pretty sure is the fourth time the show has used 'at seventeen' by janis ian, this time sung by a dejected lisanardo (man they really do keep making yeardley sing these days huh) who only wishes to be appreciated and not envied.

"I'll show them all! I'll show them all in a secret diary that no one will decipher for 400 years!"

some of lisanardo's future inventions. who wouldve known

so after barticelli, for some reason (revenge??? or something?? what was his plan here idgi) steals lisanardo's diaries full of blueprints of her inventions and takes them to mr burns who i have to assume is pope alexander VI here, they decide to use her inventions for war.

"With these, we can kill the most evil people in the world!! ....Slightly different Christians."

leo actually did this of his own accord. im surprised this is what they decided to do with lisanardo instead of talking about leo's love of nature and vegetarianism (not a single mention of that in this episode? come on...) then again, trying to do good only to end up indirectly making things worse is a very standard lisa storyline. i guess they didnt want to miss the chance to have evil pope burns (very fitting, especially for that era since they were all about money and controlling the people)

so lisanardo decides to leave for france, unlike the real leonardo who was more or less persuaded by his ultimate fanboy king francis I to move to france.

"Lisanardo, I have many questions. Why are you hitting yourself? A nerd says 'what'? And how is it possible that I am rubber and you are glue? Et cetera, et cetera."

that line may seem a little random, like hes just nelson saying nelson things (and i mean, obviously he is) but the real francis also "had an unquenchable thirst for learning, and Leonardo was the world’s best source of experimental knowledge. He could teach the king about almost any subject there was to know, from how the eye works to why the moon shines." so yeah, he did have many questions and lisanardo, finally being appreciated for her intellect, was happy to answer them all. its very interesting how lisa assigned this role to nelson in her retelling of da vinci’s life :^)

and so she lived the rest of her days in france, nat king cole's 'mona lisa' plays because duh, and they make a da vinci code reference because duh. and the segment ends. and not a single time did they show the actual mona lisa painting. the fuck?

(ngl i was fully expecting bart to say 'leonardo da vinky' for a second here)

so this next segment is about french impressionist painters, most likely the batignolles group, a name adopted by the early representatives of impressionism. its much more vague than the lisanardo segment since no one here is referred to by name (except moe, more on him in a sec) but i dont feel like it really matters in this case. bart is prrrrooobably claude monet but its hard to say, this segment is kind of a mish-mash of a lot of things. also i gotta say i really liked how lisa introduced the story to bart with an 'if you hate the formal study of art' and not 'if you hate art' because thats exactly my headcanon. i LOVE the concept of artist bart and whenever its referenced it just makes perfect sense to me.

anyway the segment opens in 1863 at the école des beaux-arts (back then it was actually known as the académie des beaux-arts), preserver of traditional french art styles. skinner reviews his students’ paintings one by one. praises the plain, unimaginative paintings depicting your typical european countryside landscapes. very run-of-the-mill (haha get it...cuz theres….a windmill) (although the real académie didnt approve of such basic stuff, they wanted artists to draw epic historical and mythological scenes) then he gets to barts painting and he gives him an F- because the painting made him think.

(the paintings in this scene arent real famous paintings as far as i know but they are inspired by real paintings enough to get the point across)

in comes barney dressed as bacchus as a model for the students to sketch, which i just loved:

barney: “You prefer robe open or robe off?” skinner: “Just cover your privates with this walnut shell.” barney: “Whoa!!! So roomy!”

skinner gasps in horror at bart’s sketch, which “looks nothing like him” and bart explains that “it shouldn’t; we’re making the art that we feel because we can’t compete with a camera.” damn, you go bart. take that, realism. draw what you feel!!

(also no, you didnt need to hold still for 17 hours for a daguerreotype. 30 min tops.)

nelson haw-haw of the week: FOIE-gras!

so here they are at the moulin rouge (“enjoy it before baz luhrmann ruins it” hey shut up. i love that movie), which wouldnt be built for another 26 years, but it is the most widely known gathering place for bohemians in the public consciousness so i can understand why they went with the moulin. nelson delivers this anachronistic line:

“This époque keeps getting beller and beller!”

which alludes to la belle époque, the golden age of france usually dated from 1880 to 1914. made me snort so ill let that slide

and heres moe! as henri de toulouse-lautrec, who was actually born a year after the year this segment is set in. yo moe szyslak he was just 1

toulouse-moetrec introduces himself as the chronicler of the demimonde (not an actual job). an iconic figure associated with the moulin rouge (largely due to his affinity for alcohol and prostitutes), toulouse-lautrec was also a painter, having illustrated a series of posters for the moulin himself. he simply had to be in this segment, anachronisms be damned, just because they decided to include the moulin. cant have one without the other.

and yes he did have a walking cane where he kept his liquor.

i love how everyone drinks absinthe in this place. theyre bohemians what else would they drink

toulouse-moetrec points out that barts paintings are the greatest thing hes ever seen (and hes seen like five things!) and that hes a genius. milhouse realizes that they should stop doing what the teacher says and use their own minds to instead...start doing what bart says lmao. to the easels!

next we have skinner hyping up chalmers about the art his students made for the salon de paris, an art exhibition that the emperor of france will attend. he assures him that none of these paintings will encourage debate, provoke thought or be out of place at a dentist’s office. when they unveil the art, theyre both SHOCKED at how scandalous the paintings actually are.

this reaction was kind of accurate. impressionism was severely rejected at the salon de paris, due to paintings not looking finished enough to them, they thought they were ugly and vulgar for depicting nudity in a contemporary setting (historical and mythological nudity was fine). these impressionist paintings were sent to the salon de refusés, which is. yeah. the place where they sent the rejects. the salon de refusés does not make an appearance but this scene makes a reference to it when the artists get expelled from the royal salon. also:

“What about our student loans?” “Oh they’ll be refunded. We are not barbarians, I mean, come on.”

(god if only)

so the painters are down because they want the emperor to actually see their paintings. toulouse-moetrec pipes in once again with an idea.

“There is one thing the emperor loves more than anything.” “France?” “No, he hates France.”

apparently the emperor really loves cheese, which makes sense since its napoleon III (who loved cheese) and homer (who loves cheese.) so the painters roll into the salon inside a giant wheel of cheese (obviously.) as lenny said, “Eh, you know French cheese. Very runny.” napoleon III chases after the wheel into a room, where the wheel falls apart after getting chomped on by the emperor. now that they got his attention, the painters proudly show the emperor their impressionist art, which he couldnt be more indifferent about because he just wants to eat his cheese dammit, and he awards them with the royal medallion just to kind of get them out of his way. skinner immediately starts kissing ass (as he does) until marge’s like ‘hey wait a minute. you expelled these students from the royal salon’ and an executioner immediately starts ominously measuring skinners neck.

“Uh, sir...is your tongue sticking out because you’re dead or because you’re mad at me?”

and thats the end of that lmao (gore in this episode, gore in the last episode, and next week we’re getting gore too cuz its THOH, what the hell is goin on)

we get a short intermission with maggie, who wants a story for her too! lisa tells her that renaissance artists loved to put babies in their paintings, especially baby angels.

here she is showing her The Triumph Of Galatea by raphael:

King David Playing The Harp by peter paul reubens:

and a very simplified version of pretty much any depiction of hell by hyeronimus bosch lmao:

not much else to say about this one, really. but i really liked that sky!

the last segment is about frida kahlo and diego rivera. or as bart puts it ‘the one about a fat guy whos wife is too good for him.’ i was REALLY looking forward to this one because i love frida and i thought itd be a cool opportunity for animators to go bonkers and do really cool shit with her art as inspiration…..but the segment is not about frida, its about diego and his selling out to capitalism. and its also yet another story with homer and marge drama. no funky cool animation here. sigh i guess i’ll take it

the story begins in 1929 at la casa azul, frida’s home (now museum dedicated to her life and work.) frida and diego are getting married. this courtyard definitely did not look this way yet back in 1929. also theres something very cringy yet funny about lovejoy saying spanish words the way he does, i honestly cant decide how i feel about that one

the writers know theyre being cringy with their gringoness so they go along with it.

moe: “Spanish for ‘best wishes’!” mel: “Spanish for ‘congratulations’!” bumblebee man: “Spanish for ‘muy bueno’!”

OH YEAH BUMBLEBEE MAN this is his new voice actor, eric lopez! hes not mexican but its still great to finally have a latino actor voicing a latino character and hes very excited to be part of the show so i hope to hear more of him!! im rooting for him

el barto/zorro makes an appearance which i am very confused about. he has jack shit to do with frida and diego and mexico in the 20s-30s. el zorro was set in the spanish california of the early 19th century. their use of the original theme song makes me think they just wanted to flex their disney privileges tbh

lets not talk about that that whole scene was bad

anyway diego announces he and frida are going to new york, without even asking her first. frida is obviously pissed.

“Don’t worry, as a woman, you’ll be treated with much more respect in America.”

so in new york, diego is having a bit of a business meeting with mr burns as one of the members of the rockefellers, who is commissioning him to draw a mural for the rockefeller center. its kinda funny how he refers to him and frida as socialists even though they were very much communists lmao its okay you can say it. ok so far, but then frida says ‘yes, we hate the capitalists! right now, a young socialist is being born who will take them down! mr. bernie sanders. i hope hes quick about it’ and that was a simple enough joke and couldve been left at that but then its immediately followed by this weird as fuck family guy-esque cutaway gag to bernie as a baby:

“Getting a cootie shot should not cost your lunch money. And if you don’t listen to me, listen to the Bernie Babies! What? Everybody’s got goons.” *larger babies start beating up this other baby* “I disavow that, and welcome it.”

this confused me so much that i had to ask one of my american friends to help me understand, but even she was like ‘uhhh yeah thats a weird joke,’ especially now that hes been out of the race for months (then again these episodes take almost a year to produce. i guess they couldnt be bothered to replace it with something more relevant.) whatever that was weird and confusing and unfunny moving on

frida is pretty irked that diego is going through with this deal. after all, it goes against everything they believe in. im not sure how the real frida felt about diego doing the mural, but she did feel a bit of rage during her visit to the united states, especially the obvious disparity between rich and poor. she hated having to interact with capitalists and found americans very boring. in this segment, frida seems to be acting more like the american communist party, which diego got kicked out of for accepting commissions from wealthy patrons. in any case, frida is pretty upset about this whole thing.

and finally we get the first and only kind of surreal frida moment. kinda. maybe. its more cartoonish than anything but im desperate ok

interesting how they felt like they had to add a “don’t smoke” in big letters after showing patty and selma flying away on their giant cigarettes. i wonder if this is something theyre making them do now? i remember hearing something about them toning down patty and selma’s smoking

diego comes home to frida, drunk as hell, followed by the marx brothers. i cant believe they didnt make a marxism joke come on it was RIGHT THERE. THE MARX BROTHERS. KARL MARX. COME ON

frida paints her feelings.

this makes diego realize that frida is a genius and he is not half the artist she is. he proclaims he will now show his awe of her by sleeping with other women, starting “an hour ago.” to which frida replies, “and i will start sleeping with other women, starting two hours ago.” yes this was pretty much their relationship. though im just wondering how the hell did diego not know frida was this kind of artist until now? i know homers an idiot but jeez. art was how frida and diego met, diego knew from the get-go that frida was an incredible artist. i guess the fame got to his head or something. again, homer just being stupid.

“well enough already, while the art is still deco, okay?”

its time for the mural diego painted, Man At The Crossroads, to be unveiled:

rockefeller examines it. good and great so far, and then...uh oh

“Who’s that fellow…? With the beard, and the bolshevik smile…” “That’s the founder of Soviet Russia, Lenin!”

“B-b-but he’s a communist!” “Oh he just attended a couple of meetings.”

rockefeller will not have this communist in the temple to capitalism that is the rockefeller center, so he orders diego to paint over it. diego stands his ground and refuses. despite rockefeller’s threats, diego says that theres only one person he wants to be proud of him no matter what and in true homer & marge fashion, frida is touched by this. they happily leave the rockefeller center.

now, the real story of Man At The Crossroads and the rockefeller center was actually not that different. as soon as the rockefellers found out diego had snuck in a portrait of lenin into the mural, they ordered him to paint over it, to which he refused. diego even offered to include abraham lincoln and even american abolitionists in the mural as a compromise, but the rockefellers simply did not want any references to communism whatsoever. they did not complain about the hammer and sickle, though. yes, they did know diego was a communist and hired him anyway. what did they expect? lmao. diego said:

"Rather than mutilate the conception [of the mural], I shall prefer the physical destruction of the conception in its entirety, but preserving, at least, its integrity."

so they decided to destroy the mural before it was even finished and they never talked to each other again.

diego then repainted the mural at the palacio de bellas artes back in mexico, this time known as Man, Controller of the Universe. this new version included even more communist leaders and a depiction of john d. rockefeller jr. drinking at a nightclub, right underneath a depiction of syphilis bacteria. cue nelson haw-haw:

this was the version they used in the episode also, since the original was, well, never finished and also destroyed. only a black and white photograph of it exists, taken by diego before it was destroyed so he could remake it.

right so, homer!diego then pulls a Barthood and finishes the episode with a large mural summarizing the entire episode. he says some rick and morty thing i didnt get because i dont watch the show idk idc

the end

ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR THE STORY OF VINCENT VAN MOE

[eponymous-rose]

I’ve also further progressed in my Vorkosigan re-read! Memory was as wonderful as I remembered (Illyan and Miles going fishing via improvised hand grenade out of boredom is always a highlight). 

I love the way Bujold structures her books---I talked about that a bunch with Mirror Dance---but Memory is just brilliantly laid out. Miles is spiraling, Miles fucks up, Miles gets fired (the closest pop-culture parallel I can think of is a superhero having to permanently revert to their mundane secret identity), Miles’s friends manage to yank him out of the mire, and then... surprise bizarre out-of-sequence murder mystery! The victim’s not dead! Miles keeps finding clues out of sequence and realizing he was meant to be framed! And god, you’re so sure it’s Haroche right at the start and then you have that moment of “oh well shit of course he thinks Miles might have it in for the boss that just eviscerated his identity” and so you’re still surprised when that first instinct was right! And then he offers Miles his life as Naismith back. Even Cordelia placed a bet on Miles giving up his life as Vorkosigan. And... he doesn’t. Mirror Dance was about Mark fracturing himself to survive. Memory is about Miles dragging himself back together to live.

I love how Illyan takes the loss of his memory chip---it’s fundamentally a piece of him gone, but it’s also freedom from thirty years of being a tool of his emperor (and then of Aral), and his embracing this destruction of his identity and learning to move forward is such a great foil/foreshadowing for Miles’s revelation. Everything in this story is about moving forward, not without regrets, but moving forward. It’s so fitting that the romance story going on in the background is Alys and Illyan, two 60-somethings, falling in love (and god, I love the scene where Miles wanders in on them in the morning and thinks something like “huh that dress is more of an evening style isn’t it?” and then like ten hours later the penny drops).

And god, Miles and Elli. I love how this was done, how it’s made apparent that you can love someone, and they can love you, and you can be very good for each other in a lot of ways, but your circumstances can still be such that marriage will annihilate one or both of you. It’s nobody’s fault, but the inevitability and recognition of it means it’s not always a devastation: “He could feel the letting-go in them, with the easing of the tension and the terror, with the slowing of every pulse of their blood. Not pain, or not so much pain, but only a just sadness, a due measure of melancholy, quiet and right.” Even when they’re quite bizarre relationships, the relationships in these books are very mature and well-thought-out from a narrative point of view, and this is a wonderful example.

Just a really, really lovely book:

No wonder he was laughing. He wasn’t mourning a death. He was celebrating an escape.

“I’m not dead. I’m here.” He touched his scarred chest in wonder.

[...]

Harra Csurik had been almost right. It wasn’t your life again you found, going on. It was your life anew.

Aaaand on to Komarr! God! I love this book! The most Miles possible meet-cute for his future wife: board at the home of her family on an investigation, have combat flashbacks on a shopping trip with her, and wind up watching her husband die horrifically while chained to a rail on a planet with a toxic atmosphere, knowing if he reacts too strongly he’s likely to have a seizure that’ll dislodge his own breathing mask, killing him in the same terrible way. You know. Rom-com stuff.

Speaking of relationships portrayed well, Ekaterin and Tien’s disaster of a marriage is extremely chilling in its realism. Even as you absolutely detest Tien, you can see how Ekaterin got yanked into that orbit, and it’s all all all so tied in with the very same aspects of Barrayaran culture that we’ve seen Miles face: Tien destroys everything because of his perception of what the response would be to his illness (where Miles, for better or worse, never had the option of hiding it), and because of his shitty insecurities about Ekaterin’s fidelity (echoes of a young Aral come to mind). We’re given explanations (his brother’s literally impossible-to-live-up-to example) but are never expected to see them as excuses, which is a very fine line to walk. The end result is a believably fucked-up relationship that draws on parallels with every single time you’ve ever thought to yourself about a friend, “Oh god sweetie you can do so much better than him”.

And Ekaterin’s thoughts about being bound to this marriage are right along the lines of the most stick-in-the-mud traditional Barrayaran loyalties we’ve seen Miles exhibit, all tangled up in language about honor. And even though it very shortly (and mortally) becomes a moot point, I love that she gets the chance to decide to leave Tien in spite of that. 

I also love the scene between Tien and Miles, talking about Nikki’s jumpship obsession, partly because of the obvious contrast between the two of them, but mostly because it illustrates how much of Tien’s awfulness is because he’s just... fundamentally a bitter coward with no imagination.

"Well, every boy goes through that phase, I suppose. We all outgrow it. Pick up all that mess, Nikki.”

Nikki’s eyes were downcast, but narrowed in brief resentment at this, Miles could see from his angle of view. The boy bent to scoop up the last of his miniature fleet.

“Some people grow into their dreams, instead of out of them,” Miles murmured.

“That depends on whether your dreams are reasonable,” said Vorsoisson, his lips twitching in rather bleak amusement. Ah, yes. Vorsoisson must be fully aware of the secret medical bar between Nikki and his ambition.

“No, it doesn’t.” Miles smiled slightly. “It depends on how hard you grow.”

The alternating POVs between Miles and Ekaterin are charming because we get to see Miles from an external (non-hostile) point of view and get all excited about each small revelation, and then we get to see Ekaterin both from Miles’s point of view and from the point of view of her own very active inner monologue, giving us insights we would otherwise have missed since she, as Miles says in the understatement of the century, has a tendency to underreact.

Their relationship is built up very carefully: there’s an obvious mutual interest practically from the first, but they both have reason to be cautious. There are those moments of genuine rapport early on, and then the shopping trip! It’s such a clever revelation, and so layered!

Miles was traumatized at Dagoola IV by watching Beatrice fall from the shuttle in front of him: he reached out to try to catch her, and just missed, and she died. And then we have this perfectly safe little parallel, with himself and Ekaterin falling off a water feature in a shopping district, and he manages to catch her, this time... and they both go over. It’s cute and oddly triumphant...

...and then he realizes exactly what it means. If he’d caught Beatrice, he’d have gone over with her. They’d both be dead, and that revelation hits right after he’s had a whole book to figure out just how badly he wants to live. And to Ekaterin, it’s a very quick summary of what and who Miles is: he’s the man who would not let go. BUT Ekaterin ALSO frames her leaving Tien in that context: she’s not just watching him fall, but purposefully releasing her hands. It’s so twisted and so complicated and such a weird little microcosm of their respective states of mind. And while part of it is Ekaterin giving Miles the little push he needed to properly process that trauma, fundamentally and on a larger timescale it places Miles as the “I’ve been in this hole before and I know the way out” path to Ekaterin’s healing. It’s so well done.

There’s also a hell of a parallel in the physical aspect of Miles’s seizures coming on unexpectedly in moments of great stress versus the psychological aspect of Ekaterin’s whole coping mechanism being built on trying desperately not to flinch or show strong emotion.

(And I don’t know where else to put this but special shout-out to the running gag of Vorkosigan House getting gradually overrun with cats, to the point where Miles starts, apropos of nothing and on a totally different planet, asking strangers if they’d like a kitten.)

These kids! Will they make it work? I may be only halfway through the book, but I have a funny feeling things might work out...

Also, here’s the “rescue” scene in full, because it delights me so:

The root-compacted soil of the edge sagged under her weight, and she began to slide precipitously forward. She yelped; pushing backward fragmented her support totally. One wildly back-grappling arm was caught suddenly in a viselike grip, but the rest of her body turned as the soil gave way beneath her, and she found herself dangling absurdly feet-down over the pond. Her other arm, swinging around, was caught, too, and she looked up into Vorkosigan’s face above her. He was lying prone on the slope, one hand locked around each of her wrists. His teeth were clenched and grinning, his gray eyes alight.

“Let go, you idiot!” she cried.

The look on his face was weirdly, wildly exultant. “Never,” he gasped, “again--”

His half-boots were locked around... nothing, she realized, as he began to slide inexorably over the edge after her. But his death-grip never slackened. The exalted look on his face melted to sudden horrified realization. The laws of physics took precedence over heroic intent for the next couple of seconds; dirt, pebbles, vegetation, and two Barrayaran bodies all hit the chilly water more or less simultaneously.

The water, it turned out, was a bit over a meter deep. The bottom was soft with muck. She wallowed upright onto her feet, one shoe gone who knew where, sputtering and dragging her hair from her eyes and looking around frantically for Vorkosigan. Lord Vorkosigan. The water came to her waist, it ought not to be over his head---no half-booted feet were sticking up like waving stumps anywhere---could he swim?

He popped up beside her, and blew muddy water out of his mouth, and dashed it from his eyes to clear his vision. His beautiful suit was sodden, and a water-plant dangled over one ear. He clawed it away, and located her, his hand going toward her and then stopping.

“Oh,” said Ekaterin faintly. “Drat.”

There was a meditative pause before Lord Vorkosigan spoke. “Madame Vorsoisson,” he said mildly at last, “has it ever occurred to you that you may be just a touch oversocialized?”

[mousehole5000]

okay im rewriting tgcf (only in my head im lazy) here are my notes on hua/lian specifically this is long bc fuck it. major spoilers obviously and same trigger warnings as the content of the book

disclaimer disclaimer disclaimer that i dont know anything about the cultural background of anything in tgcf or story tropes etc etc this is just I Think It Would Be Neat If..

there’s not really any reason to keep hc as a kid in the backstory BUT in the story in the intro (which i like narratively) it still says that it was a child who xie lian caught. it’s one of those things that got added to the legend to make xie lian seem even more noble, there are also probably a few other inaccuracies in the intro that get found out as the story progresses. in actuality hc was kind of a known troublemaker to the city guards or whatever or had been in the past. maybe his mother just passed after a long illness and his tumble off the wall was intentional. either way he’s kind of pissed at xie lian for saving him. xie lian is concerned about his health so he has to stay at the palace for a while he recovers and only interacts with xie lian a few times. there is a point where he says out loud all the things about the divide between the rich and the poor that have been illustrated by the scenes with mu qing. feng xin tells him to shut up but mq goes dead silent bc he kind of agrees but can’t say and does have his loyalty to xie lian (its a whole thing) and the resentment begins

also i think young hc’s personality is similar to his personality in the present but a bit more reserved and he’s got like this plucky streak or something. also he is unquestionably gay

anyway hc sneaks out of the palace and xie lian catches him obviously but they have a brief little heart to heart where xie lian is like “look you can go if you want here take this money food” etc and demonstrates that he has actually listened to what hc has to say and hc is like “wow no one other than my mom has ever listened to me in my life so thats what that feels like i kind of like it” and he probably is a bit awestruck by xie lian in different ways and after that is like “okay this kingdom sucks but.. that guys not so bad”

sad ironic sense that if xie lian hadnt ascended until he was older he may have actually be able to do something about the problems in the kindgom but alas we have a cycle to perpetuate

the “take me as the meaning of your life” scene still happens p much the same but xl doesnt recognize hc who is actually now at his lowest point. hc tried to find ways to make things better for people like him but he simply did not succeed (maybe his were efforts quashed by the corrupt authorities? its implied probably) and he’s more disillusioned with the kingdom and life than ever but still is holding on to those memories of xie lian as proof that it doesnt have to be like this but that thread is slipping until!! whose fucking voice is that??? thats right its the one person you ever believed was truly good and went and proved you right by ascending to the heavens at age 17!!! guess its time to stan him forever

anyway hc joins the army but legally or whatever and tbh i would have hated the flower cave scene regardless of anything i just hate any sort of s*x pollen trope or anything so thats gone (they can have a wound tending scene or something tho thats the good shit) and instead we have HL getting overwhelmed by some other demons or something together and xie lian protects hc and they both get injured very badly (maybe hc would lose a limb but im not sure how that would work once hes a ghost so thats on hold for now until i figure it out) and xl is fine but this situation ends up being part of why mq kicks hc out of the army but yes hc still ends up dying on the battlefield anyway </3

the wuming stuff is the same i think but also at some point xl is despairing and says something about that guy he saved from falling and wonders what happened to him and fire ghost wuming is like !!!!! (wait does this happen in canon? honestly it should)

in mount tong’lu i was tempted to actually have hc have a similar moment to the bamboo hat scene with the humans who are trapped in there but im not sure if i just want it to be the same as xie lian’s story... also i like the idea of hc needing to hang onto his devotion to get through his first few centuries of being a ghost so maybe he’s just inspired by xie lian’s sacrifice with the sword and the souls and thats why he claws his own eye out as a sacrifice

so this can go one of two ways from here!!! both are me projecting hardcore so take them with a grain of salt im not saying im right about the way relationships should be these a re just my thoughts <3

1. (the not fun one but it still has a happy ending) the story more or less continues the same as canon. pure and simple devotion is what carries hc through the centuries. we get to see some ghost city antics and its fun but there is nothing complicated about the devotion hc just wants to find xl and protect him. hualian eventually meet. they get along pretty well!! eventually there are cracks. when you hold someone in your mind for so long you have expectations for them that no person can meet consistently. hc thinks that since he’s seen xl during the worst time in his life that he can handle anything but it turns out that as amazing as xl is, he is also just a person and sometimes he is wrong or irrational or annoying. xl is so happy to have someone who will listen to him talk that he kind of neglects to really get to know who hc is as a person and hc is kind of like “huh i didnt expect this but im kind of hurt. i genuinely thought that i just wanted to serve and protect you but actually im my own person and this is weird” but he doesnt say anything he thinks he has to stick to his promise and it gets kind of uncomfortable!! maybe his luck goes haywire bc his faith gets rocked for the first time ever and they end up having to talk it out but their relationship is stronger for it <3

2. (i think this one is fun) hc struggles with waiting. he does it but its hard. he has doubts and when all his efforts to find xl are fruitless he starts to grow bitter and curses the day that xl saved him. his faith burns low but doesnt go out. then ghost city!! hc realizes that he can finally help people like him, even if theyre ghosts now and hes grateful for the chance to do this and grateful to xl and resigns himself to waiting. but its still hard!! he realizes that his luck is tied to his devotion and gets kind of pissed about it!!! he tries to remember all the good things about xl but its hard!!! his search becomes more about repaying a debt so he can be free than anything else, he just wants to help the common people spirits with no strings attached (this actually allows him to keep his luck bc he has the same wish as xl and thats what makes him a true believer!! is this corny? does it make sense? i dont care) and so eventually when he finds xl he’s like okay how quickly can i repay this debt/how can i keep my powers but then xie lian is... so good... and hc actually really likes him he remembers why he swore his devotion in the first place. now hes conflicted!!! dont worry they fall in love tho <3

wow this was really long if you read this hiiiii. anyway when i reread ill try to pay more attention to yin yu and he xuan for hc’s 800 years. hua cheng we’re gonna get you some friends and lore i swear to god

[crescentharborrp]

BASICS

Name: Theresa “Trey” Reddy.

Gender/Pronouns: cisfemale, (she/her).

Date of Birth: January 30, 1995.

Age: 25.

Hometown: Bray, Ireland.

Length of time in Crescent Harbor: 2 years.

Neighborhood: Bywater Park.

Occupation: Professional Photographer & Artist.

Faceclaim: Danielle Campbell.

BIOGRAPHY (trigger warnings: bullying, homophobia)

Growing the middle child of five meant that Theresa Reddy had to be creative if she wanted attention. She had a natural inclination toward anything artsy and theatrical. People in town often commented that she was destined to be an actor, another to make it big and the Emerald Isle proud. The only major problem was that it was difficult to come up from being dirt poor and to escape the fact that the Reddys were outcasts, living on the outskirts of Bray in the foothills. It was a different world out there in comparison to life in the seaside resort-like town just over thirty minutes south of the famed Dublin. In the countryside it was like it’s own small community where everyone knew everyone going back generations, even grudges from great grandfather’s time were still kept and people seemed to stick to the social hierarchy more than the folk in town did. As a kid she had to follow her older sister and brother’s footsteps, entering school as the kid that most looked down their nose on ridiculing them for being dirty or having ill fitting, ratty clothing. See, Mr Reddy ran out on his family after the last of the two youngest were born, a couple of years after. So many mouths to feed was too much pressure for a drunk. It left Theresa’s mother on her own, working a couple of jobs and trying to look after five kids when she was already worn out. It was too much for her and from Theresa on up the kids were on their own. Mostly.

By the time Theresa was reaching her teens her saving grace was her older brother. They had grown really close and he always allowed her to follow him around. It was something his friends gave him a little grief about but Theresa quickly proved she could run and hang with the boys. In fact, she identified with them a little more than her own gender. Both in attitude and personality Theresa never felt or acted all that girlie, even going as far as to shave her head when she was thirteen and hold down a buzz cut for a few years. Plenty of people that didn’t know the Reddys, mostly whenever she ventured into town, completely mistook her for a boy. She let them, feeling indifferent toward it. But it was also the start of whispers and rumors about her, other kids and adults teasing her about wanting to be a boy. She didn’t. And calling her a lesbian as an insult. Theresa was but she wasn’t all that insulted, only hated the way everyone seemed to try to use it against her. At the time Ireland was fairly Catholic, and the countryside especially was old fashioned. It only really let up when tragedy struck her and people became a little quieter about the Reddys.

When she was just thirteen years old Theresa’s older brother went missing and was to never be found again. No one knew what happened or why and since it was the Reddys no one really cared all that much. Without her best friend and biggest supporter, Theresa was lost without him, and started getting into trouble. She began breaking into homes, stealing food from the market, and spent days far from home. With no one to care what she was up to, Theresa befriended an older man, an American who chose the Irish countryside to retire, after he caught her breaking into his house. She didn’t know anyone was occupying the old house at the time and thankfully he took it well, putting her to work in helping him fix up the house. Teaching her to repair and sand and paint, rewarding her with food and sharing parts of his life and wisdom with her. In many ways he became something like a surrogate father to her, he felt like that reliable uncle that never let you down. The problem between them was that when they had first met, she introduced herself as Trey. It was her nickname but with her shaved head and tomboy behavior he assumed that she was a boy, and for a good year he treated her like a son or a nephew he somewhat adopted. It wasn’t until a neighbor spilled the beans and said it wasn’t right for him to be spending so much time with a little girl, so she was sent off and told to not come around again.

It was becoming clear to Theresa that nobody was a constant in your life, not family and certainly not friends. People came and went, you only had a limited amount of time so it was important to make the best of it. Despite her social and behavioral troubles, Theresa did well in school and was able to leave a year early. She went to the local college and began studying art, something that had always captured her eye but never knew how to pursue. Quickly she found out she not only had an eye for photography, she also had talent when it came to drawing. Theresa explored and focused on what she knew best: nature. Her photography of landscapes and scenes of nature propelled her into the art scene. Especially with her teacher’s nudging to enter this contest and that; eventually winning a few and getting her name out there a little. The phone started ringing and offers came pouring in; buying prints and commissioning her for jobs. For a girl that grew up having to steal bread and cookies and wear hand-me-downs that were too big for her it was all surreal. To have some success and to start making her own money and able to afford something of a life. Some of the jobs she was commissioned on even paid her to travel. The best thing though was Theresa building her portfolio and getting to draw and illustrate on commission; either making labels or a logo or some fancy advertisement for a client. Whatever it was, it felt good to be seen.

At twenty-one Theresa’s success took her to New York in America, living it a box of an apartment but one that she afforded all on her own. She may have been making a name for herself but she still hadn’t exactly made it big, there was no big windfall of money. The work was steady though and that was all that mattered. Especially the jobs that took her to fun or exotic places, allowing her to charm everyone she came across with her thick Irish accent and witty banter. It meant that love and relationships were difficult to navigate, she was either busy or on the go and too young to slow down too much. When everything was hot and she was building up her name and portfolio she was selfishly focused more on that than building the meaningful relationships she longed for. For her it felt like every fleeting romance was ‘the one that got away’ and Theresa was oddly okay with it since that was how she believed life to be. Nothing and no one was permanent. That was until she met the girl that changed it all, the woman that would be her muse and ignite her desire to step beyond her comfort zones with her talent. No longer was Theresa shooting landscapes and varieties of nature, she was photographing people and buildings and shapes. It was fun and exhilarating to see her photos in the magazines like Vogue and Architectural Digest. She was on a high that she didn’t want to come down from and that was when it crashed. Trey’s muse decided she was done and had enough, leaving her in New York while she ran off to Los Angeles.

Foolishly, Theresa followed, thinking she could fit a square into a circle. It didn’t take long for her to fall back into old ways; fleeting connections and work. As a girl from the Emerald Isle it was too much for her to keep living in cities like New York and Los Angeles, Trey craved the nature and trees she once photographed. So she packed her vehicle and started driving north, nearly stopping in Oregon and staying there when a job in Seattle came calling. First it was a shoot of the rugged coastline and wilderness, then it was a gallery wanting to display her work and put on a show dedicated to her photos and drawings. And finally, it was a local brewery, a startup, that commissioned her to design their labels that convinced Trey to settle in Washington. It was green and beautiful, the wet somewhat reminding her of home. She just didn’t want to live in the city and that’s how she found Crescent Harbor, parking herself in a small house because she needed some studio space and feeling like she found somewhere that was going to be home for a while.

PERSONALITY

+ clever, humble, seraphic.

- impulsive, cynical, foolhardy.

[allgirlsareprincesses]

Still More Search for the Lost Husband: The Revival of the Prince in Star Wars

Yes, there’s more! Though I covered this to an extent in my original folktale post, I felt a deeper look into the resurrection motif of The Search for the Lost Husband was necessary, especially in light of the new Hux comic. As the lovely @corseque has pointed out (have I tagged her in every post I’ve made so far? I hope so, because I stand on the shoulders of giants….), Ben Solo is clearly presented as the Sleeping Prince, metaphorically dead just like Anakin Skywalker. I’d love to delve a bit into the actual folktales that are the basis of this motif, how it appears as a pattern in Star Wars, and what that means for Ben Solo’s redemption and likely resurrection in The Rise of Skywalker.

In many versions of ATU-425, the lost husband is deathly ill, in a deep sleep, imprisoned, cursed, pretending to be dead, or some combination of the above. As with the flight of the fairy bride, this princely suitor is metaphorically dead, and in rare cases literally dead. After their separation, this is how the searching wife finds him when she comes to his rescue, and she may use any number of means to revive him: Sometimes she makes a blood sacrifice, others she might need to make him a special concoction, and often all that is needed is a declaration of love. Interestingly, the famous kiss of life doesn’t often appear in these tales as it does in the revival of the fairy wife, though sometimes Beauty kisses the Beast when she tearfully agrees to be his wife. Sometimes, the prince does not immediately recognize his wife after his revival, and she must complete another task or put on her royal raiment for him to know her as his true bride.

The most obvious place that this tale appears in Star Wars (before the Sequel Trilogy) is in the rescue of Han Solo in Return of the Jedi. Frozen in carbonite “in perfect hibernation,” Han is asleep, enchanted, imprisoned, and nearly dead when the princess creeps into Jabba’s throne room (in a palace of evil on a dead planet, no less) to rescue him. When she frees him from the carbonite, he falls to the floor as if dead, and then wakes to find that he is blind. I intend to cover this in a future post, but blindness in mythology is often used as a metaphor for death (which by the way is a pretty insidious form of historic ableism, but I digress). As Leia’s mask distorts her voice, he does not recognize her at first, but knows her immediately at her declaration of love and subsequent kiss of life. This one scene effectively crams nearly every revival motif from the Search for the Lost Husband into just a couple minutes of screen time.

The other obvious “sleeping prince” in the Skywalker Saga before the sequels is Anakin, although sadly we never see him revived by his bride. This is because his story ends tragically, as the Quest for the Lost Bride tales tend to do. That leaves only one more candidate for the classic rescue and happy ending of the Search for the Lost Husband, and that is our dear Ben Solo. Certainly it’s clear that Ben is in many ways metaphorically dead in the first two films of the final trilogy, but in the recent Hux comic, Lucasfilm has gone out of their way to show him sleeping, mask off, while Hux and another character discuss how much like his princess mother he is.

Given that the Lucasfilm Story Group is apparently being about as subtle as a sledgehammer at this point, what might we expect for Prince Ben in The Rise of Skywalker? Well, let’s review several ATU-425 revival stories to see the possibilities:

In East O’ the Sun and West O’ the Moon, the lassie arrives at the castle after her travels to find her prince imprisoned by an evil family of trolls. He is now betrothed to the troll princess, and will marry her in a matter of days. Using gifts given to her by those she met on her journey, the lassie buys the right to spend the night in the prince’s room. However, the cruel trolls make him a sleeping draught, and no matter what the girl tries to wake him, he sleeps on. The lassie tries a second night to wake the prince, but the same thing happens. However, this night, other prisoners hear her weeping and calling to the prince, and tell him when he wakes the next day what they heard. Realizing what has happened, he slyly pours the drink out instead of drinking it, and the third night is awake when the lassie is allowed into his room. They spend the night embracing and planning the defeat of the trolls the next day (achieved by the lassie washing a black shirt to pure white). Check out this stunning illustration by PJ Lynch, inspired by Gustav Klimt’s The Kiss:

**Trigger Warning for some dark and gruesome imagery in the following paragraphs, especially about blood**

In Pajaro Verde, the prince becomes deathly ill when shards of broken glass become embedded in his body, and flees to his father’s house. In her search for him, the princess comes across little birds who tell her that she must give them a sleeping potion, cut their throats while they sleep, and fill a bottle with their blood. Then, she must cover the prince with the birds’ blood, and the glass will be drawn out of him and cure him. The princess does as they say, and when she arrives at the palace, soaks a sheet in the blood and covers the prince with it. Immediately, he begins to recover, but he does not recognize his wife, and is instead pledged to another. On his wedding day to the false bride, the princess approaches him in all her royal attire and crown, and the prince suddenly remembers her, declaring her his true wife and love. The Enchanted Snake is an almost identical Italian tale, in which a blood sacrifice is again the cure for the ailing prince.

There is also, of course, the classic Beauty and the Beast, in which the neglected Beast lies dying in his garden when Beauty comes upon him after the visit to her family. Realizing her true feelings for him, Beauty calls out to her Beast, kissing him and accepting his offer of marriage. At her confession of love, he transforms into a handsome prince, and he and Beauty live happily ever after.

In The Ninth Captain’s Tale, the fair Sittukhan is the first to fall into a deathlike sleep and is revived by a sultan’s son, but is then abandoned by him. Sittukhan enchants herself into a rich and beautiful princess to entice her wayward lover, and failing to recognize her, he begs for her hand. To win her, she tells him, he must wrap himself in burial clothes as if dead and be carried in a funeral procession to a place of rest. This he does, and when they are alone, Sittukhan unwraps her lover’s burial shroud, revealing both him and herself. After teasing him for the lengths he would go to for a bride, she consents to be his wife and they marry. In this story, it is remarkable that the imagery clearly shows her raising her bridegroom from the dead, rather tenderly if somewhat macabre.

From these stories, we may perhaps assume that Ben Solo will indeed die, and that the keys to his resurrection may be a blood sacrifice of some kind and a declaration of love by his true bride. You could even argue that he’s already been baptized with blood in the imagery of cleansing salt in the red wound of Crait. However, few of these stories feature a notable villain comparable to the diabolical Palpatine who will be returning to menace our heroes in The Rise of Skywalker. Given what we know from the trailers, does the Emperor have a clear role in this part of the myth? Does Dark Rey have a part to play?

WOULD YOU BELIEVE I actually found in my collection a story that until now, I didn’t realize contained this motif? This is The Blood-Drawing Ghost (the version I have is simply called Kate Culhane: A Ghost Story), an Irish folktale over a hundred years old. In the story, a deceitful young man leaves a fine blackthorn stick on the freshly-dug grave of an old man. Kate, a young woman whom he is courting, offers to retrieve it, but when her hand touches the blackthorn stick, a ghostly voice tells her to open the tomb. Though she tries to resist, Kate is compelled by magic to obey, and she is forced to pull the gruesome corpse from his grave and carry him on her back. Though her burden is heavy and painful, she must carry the dead man a great distance until they reach a house in the village that is unprotected by holy water. Inside, the corpse searches for something to eat, but Kate can find only oatmeal. Upstairs, they find that the wealthy family has three sons, and the dead man forces poor Kate to hold a bowl under their hands as he drains the blood from each one in turn. He then has her mix the blood with the oatmeal and eats it, instructing her to eat it as well, but she cleverly hides the food in a handkerchief instead.

The old man then forces Kate to again take him upon her back and carry him back to his grave. On the way, she asks if there is any cure for the dead young men whose blood was drained. The old corpse tells her that if only a bit of the oatmeal mixture had been saved, just a bite in each man’s mouth would bring him back to life, and they would never know of their deaths. At the graveyard, the dead man tells Kate that as she has eaten his food, he will pull her into the grave with him before the cock crows three times. In my version, he does actually try to drag her into the grave, but thankfully dawn breaks and the brave girl is able to escape. She makes her way to the house of the three dead sons, where the family has discovered them and is lamenting their misfortune. She tells the family that she can revive the young men if only they will give her the eldest as her husband. They agree, and she feeds the sons the bloody oatmeal she had saved in the handkerchief, reviving them immediately. Kate marries the eldest son and they live happily for all their days.

Call me crazy, but this looks like a great plot outline for The Rise of Skywalker based on what we know so far. First, there is the brave girl who goes to retrieve a special stick, or in this case the legacy lightsaber, as Rey did in The Force Awakens. When she touches it, she is drawn into a dark struggle between good and evil, life and death. If Rey becomes a target for the risen spirit of the Emperor (who resembles nothing so much as a corpse) as many suspect, then he may attempt to use her to do his dark bidding, or convince her to become his apprentice/alcolyte. At least, this is what is suggested by the appearance of Dark Rey and some of the links she has to Palpatine in her musical theme and backstory on Jakku. Further, the Emperor has already tried to drain two sons of the Skywalker line (Anakin and Luke), and now it seems he may attempt to drain a third (Ben). There’s certainly been a lot of talk about Ben Solo’s bloodline, at least.

Just as Psyche was instructed not to eat the food of the Underworld lest she be forced to remain there forever, Kate has the sense not to share in the bloody feast of her deathly captor. Since we know Rey will likely have a “dark night of the soul” in Episode IX in which she is sorely tempted by the Dark Side, I take this as the model for her resisting that temptation to taste the fruits of death. And finally, just as the corpse attempted to drag Kate into his grave with him, Darth Sidious will make one last effort to entrap or destroy our heroine, but she will escape him. Unfortunately, it is still too late for Ben, the third son whose life he drained away. Or is it? Perhaps Rey, in her brush with the Dark Side, will have learned the cure to rouse her beloved from his deathly slumber. Perhaps it will be the sacrifice of Ben’s own blood that saves him, along with the love of a clever girl.

Hope you all enjoyed this latest installment! Let me know if there are any specific folklore topics you’d like me to explore in Star Wars. This has been a great way to pass the time during the agonizing wait for TROS!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hi!! im wondering if you have any long (over 50k words) johnlock fics with no smut..? thank u !

Hi Nonny!

Ohhhh, gosh I ABSOLUTELY do! I love long emotional connection fics! I’ll stick to my K, G, and T-Rated fics since those I can guarantee has no smut, and I’ll also include M-Rated fics, so if you’re not okay with brief mentions of sex (not graphic details, just “the next morning after a love session” kind of description), then you can skip those :)

SMUT-FREE FICS OVER 50K W.

K to T-RATED

A Love with No Name Series by aceofhearts61 (G to M, 49,955 w. across 20 stories || Asexual Sherlock / Straight John, Est. Rel, Queerplatonic Relationship, Romance, Cuddling, Fluff, Platonic Romance, Domestics) – In which Asexual!Sherlock and Straight!John are platonically in love life partners.

An Experiment in Empathy Series by belovedmuerto (T, 62,397 w. across 13 stories || Empath AU || Psychic John, Psychic-by-Proxy Sherlock, Empathy, Psychic Bond, Romance / Bromance) – In which John is an empath, Sherlock is Sherlock, and an epic bromance happens. In the aftermath of The Great Game, John creates an unexpected bond between himself and Sherlock. Now they have to learn how to deal with it. John is better at this than Sherlock is.

You Have Drawn Red From My Hands by J_Baillier (T, 67,085 w., 17 Ch. || Three Garridebs, Heavy John Whump, Hurt / Comfort, Pining, Heavy Angst, Case Fic/Adventure, Slow Burn, Sick Fic, Injury, Guilt & Depression, Just Talk Already Please, Medical Realism, PTSD) –  John getting injured leads Sherlock on a path of guilt and revelations.

The Green Blade by verityburns (T, 72,929 w., 15 Ch. || Casefic, Bromance) – As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit…

Darkling, I Listen by You_Light_The_Sky (T, 73,254 w., 8 Ch. || Fairy Tale AU || Loosely Based on Beauty and the Beast, Magical Realism, Suicidal Themes, Romance, Creepiness, Adventure) – No one who enters old London ever comes out. They say that the beast devours them. When his sister disappears, John ventures into the dead zone beyond the wall, and finds a brilliant madman under a terrible curse… Part 1 of Darkling I Listen + Extras, Deleted Scenes

A Case of Identity by jkay1980 (T, 91,009 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Fake Relationship, Case Fic) – John and Sherlock have succeeded in rebuilding their friendship after Sherlock’s fake suicide, but an unusual case puts their relationship to the test. They pretend to be engaged and attend a marriage counseling workshop. Under the pretext of the case, Sherlock turns out to be a master of seduction, and John finally learns he might like Sherlock more than he thought. Slowly, John discovers that he loves Sherlock not only in a friendly, brotherly way, but both men have to fight their own demons before they can think of taking their relationship to a new level…

Definitions by siennna (T, 101,528 w., 12 of ? Ch. || Dev. Rel., Pining, Fluff and Romance, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Fluff, Cuddles) – Sherlock’s journey in defining his flat mate and stumbling through the muddled world of emotion. {{This feels complete; the chapter count is listed as ? but I feel like it is done}}

between each beat are words unsaid by darcylindbergh, hudders-and-hiddles (T, 107,998 w., 215 Ch. || Epistolary, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Angst, Happy Ending) – On their wedding night, John and Sherlock gift each other with the things they each said when the other could not hear, the things they each put down where the other could not see: a collection of writings that illustrate the way their love for one another has grown over the years. Part 1 of between each beat

THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF JOHN WATSON by skyefullofstars (T, 110,758 w., 24 Ch. || H/C, Kidnapping, Angst, Violence, Whump, Nightmares, Murder, Drug Addiction, Torture) – While Sherlock grapples with his new-found feelings for John Watson, he faces a very real threat: John’s kidnapping and shooting at the hands of James Moriarty. And the knowledge that the love of his life is being used to test an addictive drug - at the risk of John’s sanity and life. Prequel to THE BOYS OF BAKER STREET. Part 1 of THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF JOHN WATSON

The Swan Triad Series by Pennin_Ink (T, 121,660 w. across 3 works || Swan Lake AU || Magical / Fairy Tale AU, Romance, Falling in Love, Pining, Psychological Torture, Transformation) – Sherlock and John grow up spending every summer together. Their mothers’ attempts to play matchmaker only fuel their mutual resentment and scorn. But then, one summer.

The Horse and his Doctor by khorazir (T, 129,003 w., 13 Ch. || Horse / Vet AU || Magical Realism, Horses, Vet John, Horse Sherlock, Implied Alcoholism) – Invalided after a run in with a poacher in Siberia, veterinary surgeon John Watson finds it difficult to acclimatise to the mundanity of London life. Things change when a friend invites him along to a local animal shelter and he meets their latest acquisition, a trouble-making Frisian with the strangest eyes and even stranger quirks John has ever encountered in a horse.

Mise en Place by azriona (M, 161,004 w., 28 Ch. || Restaurant (Kitchen Nightmares) AU || Sherlock is Gordon Ramsay / Celebrity Sherlock, Restauranteur John, Harry Plays Prominent Role, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, Cranky Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn) – John Watson had no intentions of taking over the family business, but when he returns from Afghanistan, battered and bruised, and discovers that his sister Harry has run their restaurant into the ground, he doesn’t have much choice. There’s only one thing that can save the Empire from closing for good – the celebrity star of the BBC series Restaurant Reconstructed, Chef Sherlock Holmes. Part 1 of Mise en Place

Fallen Series by Belladonna_Q, mamishka (T, 222,094 w. across 3 works || Winglock || Angel!John, Angels & Demons, Faes, Christianity, Changelings) – In a world where myth, mystery, and the supernatural flourish beneath the veneer of modern civilization, Sherlock is a master of magic as well as science and deduction. But there are some things that he cannot see, riddles he cannot unravel, even when they walk right beside him in the form of one John Watson…

M-RATED

The Homecoming Series by sussexbound (M, 51,744 w. across 12 stories, WIP || Domestics, PTSD, Love Confessions, Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling, Jealousy, Family Issues) – Sometimes home is all you need. After three years of horror, betrayals, and crushing loss, John and Sherlock find their way back home to one another, and together find new footing in a world that has changed forever.

John Watson’s Twelve Days of Christmas by earlgreytea68 (M, 53,464 w., 14 Ch. || Christmas, Holmes Family, Fake Relationship, Alternate First Meeting, Falling in Love, Fluff and Angst, Hardcore Pining) – It’s the holiday season. John Watson needs money. Sherlock Holmes needs something else.

Wars We Fought, Things We’re Not by blueink3 (M, 55,204 w., 10 Ch. || Post S3 / Post TAB, Parentlock, Fluff & Angst, Kidnapping, Whump, Post-TAB, UST/URT, 3G, Mild Peril, Slow Burn, Couple for a Case, Protective Mycroft, Infant Death Pre-Story, Friends to Lovers) –  Five months after John’s world has fallen apart, Mycroft sends the consulting detective and his doctor on a case that neither is prepared for.

floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w., 15 Ch. || Notting Hill AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant – but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w., 24 Ch. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn’t have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

Bedtime Universe by Liketheriver (M, 65,173 w. across 2 stories || Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Angst, Humour, Case Fic) – John’s POV during Season 2 and beyond when Sherlock takes up semi-permanent residence in his bed. A collection of codas and missing scenes wrapped up into one long fic and topped with a bow that takes the story beyond Reichenbach and into happy territory once more.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he’s a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover’s trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world’s highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

The Burning Heart by May_Shepard (M, 119,150 w., 21 Ch. || Canon Divergence, Post-TRF, John’s Sexuality, S3 Rewrite, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV John Watson, John’s Gay) – When Sherlock dies, John Watson feels like his life is over too. He’s completely shut down, until Mark Morstan, a new nurse at John’s medical clinic, catches his attention, and helps him uncover the long buried truth of his attraction to men. Although he’s certain he’ll never get over Sherlock, John plans to move on, and build a new life with Mark, unaware that Sherlock is not quite as dead as he appears, and that Mark is hiding secrets of his own.

[the--sad--hatter]

Name Calling (17)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU

PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION -  In which the ongoing and bloody war of words between you and Bucky turns in your favor when a disgruntled one night stand of his lets slip a secret when you run into her in the elevator… Now you have all the ammunition you need to destroy your enemy but you don’t plan on killing him quickly. Oh no, Bucky Barnes was going to suffer and you were going to enjoy every second. You just didn’t count on how much you would enjoy it.

MASTERLIST

Chapter Seventeen - Puzzle Pieces 

There was a steady drumbeat that woke you, you tried to open your eyes to tell whoever it was to knock it off but it was too bright and you quickly squeezed your eyes closed, hissing in annoyance at the stupid sun. The drumbeat carried on and you belatedly realised it was inside your head, sending a fresh wave of throbbing pain through your skull every few seconds.

You moaned lowly and shifted slowly, trying to manoeuvre you head under the pillow but you were trapped. You gradually became aware of an arm slung over your waist, trapping you in place and your eyes shot open in alarm. Wincing at the brightness you waited for your eyes to adjust. When they did you looked around, this wasn’t your bed, this wasn’t your room. Where the hell were you?

You twisted your head around to look behind you at the person who was holding you tightly and blinked in surprise. Darcy was spooning you, her eyes screwed tightly shut and soft rhythmic snores falling from her open mouth. You grimaced and tried to sit up, accidentally knocking Wanda’s head off your lap. Wait, Wanda was in the bed?

You nervously peered around, thankfully there was nobody else on the bed but Natasha was curled up on an armchair in the corner of the room, fast asleep. It took you a few minutes but you managed to piece together the scene. This was Wanda’s room, Natasha and Darcy were still wearing their party dresses from last night, Wanda was wearing red pyjamas and you were wearing…. A tuxedo?

You crawled off the bed, stopping in fright when you accidental kicked Wanda in the face but she only rolled over and carried on sleeping and you breathed a sigh of relief and continued to make your escape. As soon as you were standing upright you seriously considered just getting back into the bed. You felt weak, like you hadn’t had food or water in days and yet as soon as the thought of food crossed your mind your stomach started turning and nausea had you running/stumbling for the bathroom.

Ten minutes later and after sticking your head under the tap you tiptoed out of Wanda’s bedroom, leaning on the walls for support as you very very slowly made your way towards the kitchen. You needed to find someone who knew what had happened because you had absolutely no idea whatsoever. The last clear memory you had was of kissing Bucky.

You stopped in the hall and nearly toppled over. Bucky. Kissing. You and Bucky had kissed. Resisting the urge to slap some sense into yourself you tried to remember what had happened after that. You had flashes of Blonde hair and muscles and the taste of something sweet and honeyed. Oh God. God of Thunder to be precise. You must have gotten to try Thor’s mead.

You were hungover. You had gotten blackout drunk.

You desperately resumed your quest for the kitchen, needing more than ever to find somebody who could tell you what had happened. Your alcohol soaked brain finally remembered the way and after only one wrong turn and a detour past the gym you made it into the kitchen. Sam was sat at the counter, nursing a cup of coffee.

“Sam! Oh thank god, you have to help me.” You whisper shouted and threw yourself dramitically into his arms.

“Whoa, what’s wrong?”

“I’m hungover.” You lamented, a little teary eyed.

The heartless bastard snorted in amusement.

“It’s not funny, I think somethings really wrong with me. Maybe my Super Soldier Serum reacts badly with alcohol, I think I’m dying.” You sniffled.

“Oh baby, you’re not dying. It just feels like you are. The first hangover is always the worst.” He assured you, trying and failing to hide the smirk on his face.

“But I can’t remember anything about what happened, it’s all blank. My head feels like somebody is scooping my brain out with a blunt knife and my stomach feels all wrong. I can’t stop shaking.” You told him, holding out your trembling hand to illustrate.

“Trust me, that’s normal. I don’t feel so hot myself. Of course I’m a little more used to it and I didn’t get one taste of Thor’s mead and drink the entire flask.” He snorted.

“I did what?”

“Don’t worry, Thor thought it was hilarious.”

“Least of my worries Sam, least of my worries. What else did I do?” You asked with trepidation.

“I’m not sure, check your twitter account. Most of the highlights are on that.” He said with a shrug.

“My… My what?”

“You don’t remember that either? Darcy and that Parker kid convinced you to sign up for social media.” Sam explained, patting your pockets and pulling out your phone.

He unlocked it and after a few clicks turned the screen round to show you. Sure enough you were logged into ‘Twitter’ as…

“Baby-Stark-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do?” You questioned.

“That was Parkers idea. Don’t ask, you don’t want to know the answer.”

You scrolled down the posts with a growing sense of shame. There were pictures and videos galore. You pressed play on one of the videos to see yourself being dancing to Mr Roboto with Iron Man. That video was especially popular. There was a picture of you mid arm wrestling match with Steve, thankfully there wasn’t a video of that, you’d be fucked if you’d revealed to the world you could hold your own with Captain America in strength.

“The Falcon is my favourite Avenger for anyone who was wondering, he’s the best looking and coolest!” You read out loud.

“They do say drunk people are honest.” Sam shrugged and tried to look innocent.

“Sam this is so bad, my dad is probably going to kill me.” You whined.

“I wouldn’t worry about that.” Sam said, taking your phone and clicking on Tony’s twitter profile.

Tony had retweeted a photo of you Dj’ing with an Iron Man helmet on your head with the caption ‘She parties like a Stark! So proud!’.

“None of this explains why I’m wearing a tuxedo or why I woke up in bed with Wanda and Darcy.” You pointed out, stealing Sam’s coffee.

“Can’t help you there but I have so many questions.” Sam said.

You didn’t answer, as soon as you’d tasted the coffee you moaned loudly and drained it like a vampire tasting blood for the first time. Maybe Clint was on to something when he drank it straight from the pot. Sam rolled his eyes and got up to make more.

“Where is everyone else?” You questioned, really wondering if he knew where Bucky was.

“Still sleeping probably. Steve and Buckinator are gone.” He said casually.

“Gone? What do you mean gone? Gone where, gone why?” You yelped.

“They left in the middle of the night. Steve said something about supporting Bucky.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t exactly sober myself.”

“Did Bucky say anything?” You pressed.

“No, last time I saw Bucky you two were screaming at each other in the corridor.” He told you.

Oh no. This was bad. This was very very very bad. What had you done?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After sneaking back into Wanda’s room to leave bottles of water and painkillers on the bedside unit for them and lamenting that aspirin couldn’t do a damn thing for you, you decided you needed to retrace your steps from last night to try and figure out what had happened. Bucky’s phone was switched off, as was Steve’s and you were growing more frightened by the second.

Still clad in the ill fitting tux you made the arduous trek downstairs to the floor where the party had been held, hoping to trigger some memories. There were cleaners milling about, bagging up all the evidence and you smiled politely at them as you made your way through the large room.

Nothing in your memories was shaking loose as you teetered around the room shakily and you sighed heavily, ready to give up and try something else when you spotted somebody on the bouncy castle. There was a dark haired man lying on it with his back to you. You crept over and leaned in curiously.

“Hello?” You called.

He sat up rapidly and groaned, holding his head in his hands. He glanced over his shoulder at you and did a double take.

“Oh hey! It’s you!” He exclaimed.

“Scott? What are you doing?” You enquired.

“I was at your party, I’m Scott Lang. You know, Ant Man?”

“Scott we’ve met like twice before.” You reminded him, holding out your hand to help him climb off the bouncy castle.

“Yeah but I wasn’t sure if you remembered me, you were really busy.” He said, accepting your hand and clambering down to stand beside you.

“Trust me, you make an impression.” You laughed.

“Sorry.”

“No, a good one.” You assured him.

“You look as bad as I feel, only with more shame and regret.” He noted.

You sighed heavily and sat down on the edge of the castle and he perched next to you with a patient and open expression.

“I think I fucked up, badly.�� You admitted.

“Wanna talk about it? I know a lot about shame and regret.” He offered.

“I don’t know if I can explain it. Ok, there’s somebody here, on the team. We don’t get along and I kind of betrayed them a teeny bit but last night we made progress, really good progress. Great progress actually. But I think I got drunk and messed it up and now he’s gone and I don’t know if I can fix it because I don’t know what I did.” You rambled.

Scott looked a little overwhelmed.

“Wow. Ok, that is a lot more information that I was expecting.”

“Yeah.”

“Well if we can figure out what you did, you think you can try and fix things? That doesn’t sound too complicated. I bet we can do this, you just need to try and remember what happened.”

“I’ve been trying. That’s why I’m down here.” You explained.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” He asked.

“Um, Thor I think? Sam said I drank all the Asgardian mead.” You admitted ruefully.

Scott blinked at you in awe.

“Well that’s a start. Hey lets ask around, the more you can piece together about what happened the better your chances of remembering.” He suggested.

“We? You wanna help?” You asked.

“Sure, it’ll be fun. Probably.” He smiled goofily.

“Besides, every great detective needs a sidekick. Sherlock and Watson, Inspector Gadget and penny… That’s all the examples I have. Come on.” He said, walking off with a spring in his step.

You sighed and shrugged. You didn’t have any better ideas so you got up and followed him.

“Wait, which one of us is the sidekick in this scenario?” You asked.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Well that doesn’t look good...” You remarked.

There was a fist sized hole in the corridor wall. You placed your fist into it but it was clearly made by someone with much bigger hands. Sam had said you and Bucky were arguing in the corridor last night and whatever you had said to him, it looked like it was bad enough he’d punched the wall.

“Hey, there’s another one over here.” Scott called to you from further down the corridor.

You went over to him and saw what he was pointing at. There was a large crack in the plaster, much much bigger than a fist. In fact, it was similar in size to you. You looked behind you and saw that the hole was parallel to the stairs. A fuzzy memory began to play in your head and you pulled your shirt up. Sure enough there were fading bruises along your side.

“Uh, I think I may have tried to use Caps shield as a sledge to go down the stairs.” You admitted with a blush.

“Cool!” Scott exclaimed and then looked at the hole in the wall again.

“Or maybe not so cool.” He decided.

“Very not cool.” You agreed with a wince as you remembered hurtling down the steps and into the wall.

“But hey, at least you remembered something. This is working! Let’s keep going!”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The next piece of the puzzle to be solved was in the lab where Banner was working. As soon as he saw you he backed away.

“Are you sober?” The doctor asked you nervously.

“Yes? Why?” You asked.

“Because last night you asked me if you could fight the Hulk and film it. You said Vernichtung Vs The Incredible Hulk would be the greatest death match in history.” Bruce explained.

“I mean, it kind of would.” Scott said while the colour drained from your face.

“I am so sorry Bruce! I would never do that, I swear.” You protested.

“It’s ok, I think you were joking. Besides, I’m pretty sure Darcy put the idea in your head.” He said placatingly.

You were still horrified as you remembered asking Thor if he wanted to referee the fight. You hurriedly apologised to Bruce and fled the lab, your face burning. Scott waved bye to Banner cheerily and ran after you.

“Where to next?” He asked.

“Far away from Bruce.” You said as your feet led you back to the kitchen.

Sam had left and now Clint was perched on the counter drinking coffee. You snatched to pot from his hands and started chugging it.

“Whoa, rude.” Clint snapped.

“Did I do anything last night you wanna tell me about? Steal your bow and pretend I was Merida or something equally stupid?” You groaned.

“No, nothing like that. Well you did ask if I kept animals on the farm and cried for ten minutes when I said I had chickens and phoned my wife to ask her to let you say hi to them.” Clint told you with a snort.

Now that he mentioned it you did sort of remember Laura Barton inviting you to come and see the chickens for yourself and meet the children.

“Oh yeah. Wanda and I are coming to your farm for the weekend.” You admitted.

“I know, the kids are excited.”

“Well, that’s not so bad.” Scott remarked.

“Yeah, at least I didn’t bodily injure myself or challenge him to a fight.” You agreed.

“I don’t want to know, yet I kind of do.” Clint said and Scott hurriedly filled him in while you smooshed your head into your arms on the counter.

“WANDA!” You shrieked, startling both the men.

You wish you had thought of this sooner, you could have saved yourself some time. You rushed away at a faster pace than your body could handle and had to stop in the hall to lean against the wall and rest.

“Wanda I want my memories back.” You yelled, storming into her room.

She was sat on the edge of the bed and you noticed Darcy and Natasha were gone as the witch looked up at you in fear and alarm.

“Your memories? You can’t!” She protested.

“What? Why? I need to figure out what happened last night. Can’t you just… you know?” You asked, imitating the hand gestures she used.

“Last night? Oh, uh I can’t do that. It doesn’t work like that I am afraid.” She informed you, colour returning to her face.

“Ugh. Can you at least remember anything that happened? Any arguments I may have gotten into or something I might have to apologise for?” You asked hopefully.

“I remember very little after karaoke I’m afraid Sestra.” She told you apologetically.

“After what now?”

“You mean you don’t have any recollection of singing?” She said with an evil smirk.

“Oh no. Just tell me.” You whined, throwing yourself onto the bed face down.

“You gave a very emotional performance of Bad Romance.” She sniggered.

“Please just kill me.” You begged.

“If it makes you feel any better, Darcy sang ‘I Touch Myself’ to The captain.”

“You know what, that does make me feel better.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You tracked down Scott who was still in the kitchen, his head in the fridge.

“Wanda can’t help, though she did give me the rundown of my short lived pop career.” You informed him with a sigh.

“Don’t look so down, we’re making great progress.” He told you through a mouthful of cold take out.

“No, we’re finding out all the embarrassing things I did. I’m no closer to finding out what I did to Bucky.” You said mournfully.

“So that’s what this is about? You and The Winter Soldier? You know what, I can kind of see it.” Scott said, squinting at you.

“See what?”

“You and Barnes. You’d make a good couple.”

“What? That’s not what… I didn’t… No.” You spluttered.

Scott grinned at you and you knew you’d given yourself away.

“If you tell anyone I will hunt you down and introduce you to my bloodthirsty alter ego.” You vowed and he went pale.

“No, I wouldn’t. I was just saying, I’m on your side.” He hurriedly assured you.

“I know. Thanks Scott, I appreciate you trying to help but I don’t think this is working.”

You dragged yourself to the couch, accepting that you had messed things up with Bucky again and you didn’t know how.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It wasn’t until you got back to your own room that everything fell into place. In hindsight, you really should have gone there first. Especially since you were still wandering around in Tony’s Tuxedo. Yeah, Darcy had finally relented and informed you that she had dared you to steal one of Tony’s suits and wear it back down to the party. She hadn’t specified she had meant the Iron Suits and you had raided your dads closet for the expensive Italian tux.

You had pulled it off and taken a shower, padding over to your bed in a funk you tried once again to call Bucky and yet again it went straight to voicemail. You didn’t bother leaving a message, you wouldn’t know what to say. You sighed heavily and threw yourself onto the mattress, landing on something hard and pointy. You grumbled and pulled it out from under your stomach. It was a book, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. You frowned and flipped the front cover open. There was a note on the inside.

My dear Vernichtung,

I was sorry to hear about your mothers untimely demise, such a tragedy. Still, I am heartened to hear you are able to celebrate and decided to send you this gift. I believe you will find this book to your liking.

I will see you very soon.

Your Creator.

Your chest tightened and everything snapped back into place, all your memories of last night. Finding the book in a pile of gifts and running out of the party. Bucky had followed you into the corridor, worried about you. Through shaky breaths you had tried to explain, showing the book to him. He had been incandescent with rage, putting his fist through the wall. Your own fury had ignited and you had screamed until your throat was raw, wanting to know how he got the book into the compound, wanting to kill him.

You knew you should feel afraid right now but you were too relieved. You hadn’t fucked things up with Bucky. He had tracked down the caterer who had slipped the book into your pile of gifts. A young woman who had been paid an obscene amount of money to sneak the book into the compound, she had thought it was harmless since it was only a book and she needed the money to pay her college fee’s. She had told Bucky everything, about how a man had approached her during one of her breaks at the Catering Company in LA. Bucky had dragged Steve out of the party after begging you to try and put it out of your mind and go back to the celebrations and promised he would call you when he tracked down the mysterious man who had given the girl the book.

Docherty was doing all he could to torment you and proving he could get to you anywhere. Bucky was doing everything he could to help you feel safer, leaving your party and flying to LA for you. You really hadn’t fucked this up at all Docherty be damned, you were happy.

You threw your head back onto the pillow and laughed, jumping up when your phone rang. The screen was completley blank, no caller registered at all. With apprehensiveness you picked up.

“Hello?”

“Miss Stark, this Is Nicholas J Fury. I need your assistance with something. In precisely ten minutes the security systems in the compound will be down for exactly sixty seconds. If you agree to help us you will need to use that time to get out of the compound unnoticed.”

“Why the hell would I do that?”

“Because there is a very rich and powerful man who has managed to create a deadly virus he plans to unleash on an unsuspecting population in a war torn country. We can’t call The Avengers, they are too public and this man is to powerful. We need somebody unknown, somebody highly skilled. I am asking you to climb out of your ivory tower to save lives, a lot of lives.”

“And I can’t tell anybody why?” You demanded suspiciously.

“Plausible deniability. The man in possession of this virus has contacts within the UN. This mission is not sanctioned by the accords and neither are you. Millions of lives are at stake and you have eight minutes and sixteen seconds left. Are you in or do I need to find myself another hero, one who cares more about doing the right thing than getting their daddy’s permission?”

Your mind whirled as you tried to decide what to do. What was the right answer here? Did you betray Tony again and sneak away again or did you hang up the phone and let somebody else take care of this? Millions of innocent lives VS Tony’s trust, what were you supposed to do? Did you even trust Fury? Would Tony forgive you if you did it? Would somebody else stand as high a chance as you of doing this?

You took a deep breath and gave your answer.

“I’ll do it.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I can’t believe that I have just hit over 50k words with this chapter. Thank you to each and every person who is reading, I’m so freaking grateful!

@nerdandproud-86 @harrison-shot-first@chook007@thejourneyneverendsx@thelostallycat@inquisitor-selvala@the-corruptor @iovher@kendrawr-kitkat@phoenix-whiskey-tears @the–real-wombat@buckitybarnes@fairislesheets@angieptt @meganjonezzzz

@dugan365 @fluffeh-kitty@memanda17@krystallynx@theonelittleone

@piscesbarnes @free-as-fishes@tarastudiesalot@captainamericasbeard

[ducktracy]

101. buddy of the legion (1935)

release date: april 6th, 1935

series: looney tunes

director: ben hardaway

starring: jack carr (buddy)

it always amuses me to see clampett and jones sharing an animation credit, seeing how bitter their rivalry was. another one of the “legion” cartoons, started by bosko and continued with porky. buddy becomes engrossed in a book while working at a bookstore, imagining himself taking on a bunch of amazons.

buddy merrily strolls along the street, a sign advertising “BOY WANTED” diverting his attention. the sign pertains to a local book shop that’s hiring, evidently right up buddy’s alley. he marches into the shop, rocking behind a woman scratching down some writing. she only takes notice when buddy clears his throat, displaying the sign proudly and declaring “i’m your boy!” the woman barks at him to take off his hat and turn around to investigate his physique (buddy flexing his muscles for her). satisfied, she hands him a duster and tells him to get busy.

whistling joyously, buddy does his duties, swinging a gate shut behind him, which propels him forward to a table. he dusts a few knickknacks, which include a cat and a fish. his boss tells him to take care of the store and to put away a pile of books, which he gives her his affirmation.

while he carries the tower of books, a pesky bee circles him, landing on his nose. i wonder if this is a chuck jones scene? the layout and looks of it remind me of his late 30s and early 40s entries. i could be wrong, though. i guess it’s the wrinkles? buddy attempts to swat at it with one hand, the other supporting his leaning tower of literature.

carrying a stack of books on one hand proves to be more difficult than desired for buddy. he runs around the store as the books lean like a staircase, trying desperately to avoid a catastrophe, but to no avail. he crashes into a stove, a shower of books engulfing him.

one particular book catches buddy’s attention as it plops open in his lap. “LIFE IN THE FOREIGN LEGION”. immediately engrossed, buddy reads the book as he situates himself at a desk.

turning a few pages, an illustration of men marching in the desert comes to life, buddy right at the front as he joins the singing soldiers in their chorus. a collection of gags includes a soldier’s veil getting in the way of another soldier, and a man riding a camel kicking his feet up.

cut to the amazonian village, where a woman is whipping a man and laughing. okay, i should probably be offended at this since i’m a woman LOL but i can’t help but laugh, it’s so cheesy and dumb. those damn women! working us men to death! we’ll show ‘em! it feels like a parody in itself, which may be half true. it’s just too asinine for me to take seriously. a man begrudgingly washes some bloomers, while another sulks on a treadmill powering a waterwheel. one of the amazons spots his sloppy work and blows part of her hookah at him, picking up the pace.

one of the amazons spots buddy and his legion through a telescope, sliding down a pole and warning the amazon smoking her hookah. the smoking amazon tweets on a whistle, summoning a blackface caricature (of course) to wheel out a sarcophagus. after the amazon mutters a few incomprehensible spells, an attractive woman saunters out at her request. the “leader” summons a magic carpet for her servant to ride on. a few hand motions and the woman is off on her flying carpet, landing in the desert, right where the legion is approaching.

each of the soldiers become wooed by the girl’s dancing, a sure plan to bring them back to the amazonian village. amusing visual of all of the soldiers’ heads rising up and turning backwards to get a good gander at their eye candy. eventually, all of the soldiers up and leave, enthralled by the girl’s charm... save for buddy, always faithful and loyal.

buddy realizes he’s been deserted and blows his trumpet in an attempt to summon back his legion. of course, nothing. he runs back the way he came, hoping to reassemble is group.

elsewhere, the amazon is leading her gaggle of men into the village. the lead amazonian is there to smack all of the guys silly, propelling them away. i do like the “you wouldn’t punch a guy with glasses, right?” gag, a man holding up his hand before the amazon packs a punch and pointing to his glasses. she kindly takes them off and socks him right in the face. i also enjoy the camel sequence—she smacks a camel, who becomes punchy and begins to shadowbox. i have such a hard time identifying animators in these early cartoons, and can only make assumptions, but i feel the scene of the camel boxing is a clampett scene. the camel reminds me very much so of the wildly entertaining camel in porky in egypt.

at last, buddy enters the village. being too short, the amazon swings a hit and misses, punching the entrance door instead. with her hand stuck, buddy uses the extra time to observe his surroundings—men washing clothes (how torturous! men doing laundry! oh, agony! the horror!) and a forlorn man (and camel) on the waterwheel treadmill, the camel complaining “i’m so tired!” in an ode to greta garbo.

a woman hiding in a pot attempts to slice buddy open with a sword, yet fails as he dashes away just in time. buddy dives down a chute that leads to outside, the woman herself getting stuck. arriving back inside the village, buddy closes the chute’s gate over the woman, which stabs her painfully in the butt.

an angry army of women charge after buddy. spotting a rock nailed to a piece of stick, which, in turn, has a bucket on the other end and the entire stick is secured to an upstanding piece of wood, buddy spins the contraption around, the bucket smacking each woman that charges at him and sending them flying. the men cheer buddy on for his bravery. however, one of the stragglers pops out of the well the contraption was under and throttles buddy repeatedly.

fade back to present day, where the amazon shaking buddy vigorously is actually his ill-tempered boss, furious at him for reading on the job. she drags him along the store, buddy bumbling along and grabbing his hat. one final kick outside the door and a toss of the book. buddy, bursting with thrilling dialogue, just responds “okey-dokey!” and saunters off was we iris out.

definitely one of the lesser buddy cartoons. there isn’t much to remark on, moreso than usual. it was pretty sexist LOL but unfortunately that’s another common theme in some of these cartoons, along with racism, fatphobia, homophobia... lots of ugly stuff, but it’s important to remember it in context of then AND now—not that that excuses anything at all. the opening exposition was a nice way to introduce the plot, and i enjoyed the scene of the camel shadow boxing after it got walloped by the amazonian, but other than that... nothing exciting. probably best to skip.

link!

[comicteaparty]

January 20th-January 26th, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from January 20th, 2020 to January 26th, 2020.  The chat focused on Free Sailing Villains by Grace Kaluba.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Free Sailing Villains by Grace Kaluba~! (https://freesailingvillains.tumblr.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until January 26th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. What is your personal opinion on the comic’s opening regarding the three points of good living? Do you feel they’re accurate to real life? Regardless, what sort of expectations do they set up for you regarding the comic?

Eightfish

boy that serif font is a challenge. And I haven't seen a webcomic where clicking on the page zooms it in before- kept clicking on the page instead of the 'next' button out of habit. 2) The three points were be true to yourself, don't care about others, and don't get trapped by others' expectations, right? I think they set up the character's personality. Don't know if I'd call them "selfishly indulgent" though- to me that phrase would be more fitting to something like "take what you want when you want"

snuffysam

I really like the way the opening of the comic was laid out. The introductions to presumably each of the 5 main characters (who will ultimately start sailing the seas at some point), giving us a taste of who they each are before diving into more in-depth scenes. It's a really cool way to tease where the story is heading.

Comic Tea Party

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. From the introduction, which character’s personal plight did you connect with the most and why? As the story goes on, how do you think said character might come to address their external and internal struggles?

Comic Tea Party

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. What do you think Zaila’s backstory is, and how did Zaila get into a career of piracy? How do you think Zaila and Kelly might meet some of the other members of the cast, and will everyone manage to get along?

RebelVampire

1) My favorite scene was probably the scene with Adelaide where she sasses her future husband. It was pretty funny but also tense since even just looking at her mother you knew that sass wasn't going to go unpunished or unmentioned. So there was a good mix of feelings going on that I enjoyed. 2) I feel like these points kind of set up the tone of the comic. We're dealing with themes of being trapped and freedom, so you know you're in for both drama and...maybe anti-heroes is the best word here. And I think it was a good opening to kind of set that mood up for what to expect from the character's and their position on life. As for accuracy to real life though, yes and no. I think it would depend on the person and how they define good living. So for some an accurate philosophy, for others, not so much.

3) My favorite character is definitely Adelaide. I enjoy her spunk but also her situation. Social pressure is a hell of a thing, so in some ways I feel she's got the worst end of the stick compared to a lot of the other characters. I also feel like her situation is perhaps the most complex because of that, since if she just dumped the marriage, there's a lot of people who'd be effected by that decision. But also, sass. 4) Once again, I probably also connected with Adelaide's plight the most - if only because I feel she's the most down to earth right now. Like I can't see becoming a secret vigilante at least, so that extra grounding for Adelaide's makes me empathize more. As for Adelaide's struggles, I think she's gonna try to go through with it, but then bail and basically fall into a state of apathy and rebellion as she tries to find out who she is and what she wants for herself in her life, not what is good for her mom.

RebelVampire

5) My favorite illustration is probably this whole page https://freesailingvillains.tumblr.com/post/160057299547 I love the various angles used in a lot of the shots, plus some of the details. Like I love the touch of that Pirate Beware sign, cause it really adds some ominous foreshadowing to the scene. 6) Honestly, for once, I don't even have a ballpark theory for this in terms of backstory. However, as for meeting, I kind of feel like it's gonna be a just in the wrong place at the wrong time sort of thing. And everyone is gonna flee together, team up naturally, and then just make their teamwork a permanent thing.

snuffysam

Yeah, I agree about empathizing with Adelaide the most so far. Like I think Mika is super cool, but Adelaide's situation just feels super real with being essentially forced into this marriage by social pressure. And she's also a really fun and witty character. I feel like there's going to be some situation that leads the group together, but I'm not sure what. All chasing some specific thing? A recruitment ad?

Comic Tea Party

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. What do you think happened to Adelaide in the past that her mother brought up? Do you think Adelaide will go with her political-oriented marriage, or will the pressure become too much that she escapes? What will the consequences be regardless?

RebelVampire

@snuffysam I personally think it's gonna be a situation of them all chasing something specific. Though a recruitment ad would be pretty fun. XD

7) I've enjoyed seeing Adelaide and her mom interact the most. Adelaide's mom is just filled with venom, and every moment of their interaction just hurts to watch. Plus, I really want to know what Adelaide's mom knows that we the audience don't, so I like that kind of mystery in their relationship. 8) I get the impression that maybe in the past Adelaide had maybe tried to commit suicide? At least that's the impression I got and I could kind of see why it'd work as manipulation. I definitely think Adelaide is gonna escape her marriage though before it happens. She's already thrown so much sass, I can't picture her saying any vows while keeping a straight face. And I'm sure when this happens, Adelaide will flee cause I doubt the powers that be in her life will just say "Okay" to this.

Comic Tea Party

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. How do you think Mika became involved in vigilantism with Thandie, and why do they both so ardently pursue it? What do you think will happen to their vigilante “careers” now that they’ve involved themselves in something dangerous like the artefact?

RebelVampire

9) I like how the backgrounds/foregrounds in this comic are used. Like there's a lot of things that characterize the setting (like the hospital), add foreshadowing (like the pirate poster), or add atmosphere (like the décor in Adelaide's scene with her mom. It's really great to see a comic that uses the background as more than just a background but as a means to enhance the settings presence. 10) I feel like Mika might be kind of an adrenaline junkie perhaps. Or at least someone who just feels ill-suited to regular sorts of jobs that people get. I'm not sure I feel there's a more complex reason than that at the moment. I kind of feel their vigilante careers are gonna be put on hold. Not because it becomes too dangerous, but because Mika and Thandie will see that there are better ways to help than just regular ol' vigilantism.

Comic Tea Party

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. What exactly do you think the artefact Mika and Thandie found is? Why is it so important that it was worth putting bombs in subordinates’ necks and torturing an old woman? Also, what do you think will happen now regarding it?

snuffysam

Yeah I'm fairly certain Mika and Thandie will move from vigilantism to piracy at some point, the question is why and how? Perhaps they just join up with the free-sailors as a cover to investigate this artifact? As for what the artifact is - I get the feeling the artifact itself isn't super important on its own, but it's a clue to something bigger. Like, the artifact somehow contains a map, leading to... either untold riches or some kind of weapon?

Comic Tea Party

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?

QUESTION 14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?

RebelVampire

11) I think the comic's strength is the character writing based on the premise and themes. These characters are just extremely well suited to the adventure lifestyle, while all additionally playing into the theme of freedom the comic as well as the theme of being true to yourself. And since the characters match those themes so nicely, there's a really great compliment that makes each one stronger. 12) I'm not quite sure what the artefact is, though I assume it could probably destroy the world or something. At the very least, it's gotta be uber powerful. As for what will happen now, well, the artefact is definitely gonna get taken imo cause I think everyone will underestimate how much the mysterious villain wants it. And everyone will chase after it for their own reasons.

13) I am just looking forward to seeing more Adelaide in general and seeing where her storyline goes. ;v; 14) I hope to see the comic continue as it does seem like its gonna explore some really fantastic themes that I do enjoy seeing explored. Especially in terms of being true to yourself, cause that shit is hard.

aeons

Thank you so much for the feedback! It's greatly appreciated and made me more motivated to work on the comic. I will take everything that is said into account

Also thanks for reading just in general!

Comic Tea Party

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Free Sailing Villains this week! Please also give a special thank you to Grace Kaluba for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Free Sailing Villains, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://freesailingvillains.tumblr.com/

Grace’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/graceofaeons

Grace’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/graceofaeons

[zdbztumble]

“Kingdom Hearts II” revisited, Part IV

Having said last time that I don’t understand how any of the first four Disney worlds could be considered filler, I can absolutely understand how the last four could be. I suspect that it’s these worlds, at least on the first pass, that give this game its reputation for Disney filler. The reasons why aren’t hard to spot: it’s a case of formula and stagnation combining to bring the larger story down into a fun but overlong lull.

As I said in Part III, the first of the Disney worlds follow logically from Yen Sid’s briefing, and illustrate the competing villain factions. Disney Castle represents a turning point, with Maleficent getting personally involved and striking at a world that should have been off-limits. I don’t object to the placement of Disney Castle in the line-up; the story needed a step up in stakes at that moment. But there is a total lack of follow-up from there. Agrabah, Port Royal, and Pride Rock all play out in the same way so far as the larger story is concerned; Pete shows up with some Heartless, has almost nothing to do with whatever it is the local villain is up to, and Sora and the local Disney heroes clean up the mess. The one deviation from that formula is Halloween Town, where Maleficent again takes a personal hand and her past history with Oogie Boogie is capitalized on, but it amounts to the same basic formula. 

Where this issue is most apparent is in Pride Rock. Some of the worlds before this see Pete discussing how this or that character would make a good Heartless; in Pride Rock, the local Disney villain actually becomes one. That is, on paper, a major escalation, and a significant achievement for Maleficent’s forces. But the presentation of that moment utterly fails to convey that, because Pete and Scar have virtually no interaction. There’s no seduction or temptation for Scar to embrace the powers of darkness and become a Heartless, no equivalent to Maleficent’s conversations with Jafar, Hades, and Riku in KH I. Everything in Pride Rock plays out as if nothing were unique here, as if no advancement had happened; Pete’s just there, and he’s almost casual in the way he declares Scar to be a Heartless.

Really, Pete’s continued presence speaks to the problem. Maleficent’s threat that Timeless River represented his last chance should have been a real threat; after his failure there, he should have been banished to sentry duty at their hideout or something like that, while Maleficent saw to all the rest of the Disney worlds personally, gradually increasing the threat and the stakes. Meanwhile, Organization XIII could provide at least one major disruption or counter to her plans, keeping them involved. Instead, the Organization puts in no appearances in these worlds, and the only mention of them that I remember is Sora asking Nala if she’s seen anyone in dark cloaks. Whatever the merits and demerits of each individual world (and we’ll get to that in a second), the end result is that the central plot of KH II is absent for four whole worlds, except for the cutscenes tied to Kairi.

And speaking of Kairi - as good as her reintroduction to the story is in the prelude, the game takes too long to bring her back into the proceedings after Sora awakens. The reference to her at the end of Port Royal is adorable, as is the mention of her in the Pride Lands but at least one cutscene, placed somewhere within the first few Disney worlds, was needed. The long absence of DiZ and “Ansem” from the plot is felt too - not as strongly for me, though that’s a personal thing.

When Kairi does finally reappear, we get a good expansion of her character. In one short scene with Pluto and Axel, she’s shown to be brave, intuitive, and determined to set out on her own and be a part of the action. More of that side to her character would have been good to see, in this and other games, but at least this one has it in some capacity. (This scene also serves to disabuse any notions of Axel’s character; a man prepared to kidnap Sora’s lady love to use as bait in an ill-thought plan to get Roxas back is not any sort of hero.)

(For those of you who play through the worlds based on villain level, and who try and play in-character as Sora, Kairi’s cutscene being placed where it is made my path forward after Agrabah an agonizing decision. On the one hand, Twilight Town opening up would be a clear sign that there’s something there worth investigating; on the other hand, Sora couldn’t possibly know at that point that Kairi is there, and the remaining Disney worlds are all populated by old friends of his. In the end, I stuck to following villain level, but it was tough to settle on a plan.)

Now, as for the Disney worlds on their own merits...

Atlantica is bad. I don’t have any inherent objection to a combat-free musical world, and I don’t even hate “Swim This Way;” get rid of the lyrics and it’s a fairly innocuous instrumental track. But the original story for Atlantica written for KH I borrowed liberally from the actual movie plot; to go through an abridged version of that plot here is repetitive, and devoid of any of the elements that tied the world to the larger KH story in the first game. Even more than the 100 Acre Wood, I think this would have been a great candidate for a world not to repeat. KH III’s later decision to keep Ariel involved as a Summon instead is one of the few things I can unequivocally say that game did better than KH II.

I can also say that KH III did a far better job with the Pirates of the Caribbean material. On an aesthetic level, there’s no contest. The size of the world, its design and color scheme, animation of characters (though there’s still some uncanny valley issues), movement and gameplay options, Jack’s VA and original dialogue - even the music, despite the absence of Zimmer’s main theme, all made an incredible leap forward in KH III compared to what the starting point was. I’d go so far as to say that KH II’s Port Royal is, aesthetically, the weakest in the game, and possibly the entire series (though Wonderland could give it a run for its money, at least on looks.)

The bigger problem with Port Royal, at least on the first pass, is the way it handles the movie it’s based on. It’s in Port Royal where I see clearly, for the first time, the approach to adapting Disney movies that would become the detrimental standard. What we have here is an uninspired abridgement of Curse of the Black Pearl, easily the most straightforward adaptation of a Disney movie in this game, with possibly the least amount of effort made to accommodate the greater KH story (we’ll get to the competition for that title next). The abridgement itself is careless in its cuts, leaving certain elements of the world’s story confusing, awkward, or arbitrary. Dialogue is lifted wholesale from the film and delivered with less than compelling conviction by the stand-in VAs.

Pete’s limited role in Barbossa’s schemes has already been mentioned, but this world was the first where I felt that little effort was made to give Sora a role in the proceedings. As happened with infuriating frequency in KH III, Sora and his friends are basically along for the ride here, the plot of the movie playing out around them without their having any real bearing on it. The two things you can give Port Royal over later games’ worlds is that at least Sora is involved with the final battle against Barbossa, and that this world introduces his pirate fantasies (and we’ll touch more on those in a moment). To go back to KH III’s take on Pirates - most of the same problems (and those two saving graces) exist there too, but in the context of that game, The Caribbean in KH III was one of the less frustrating worlds when it came to Sora’s role (or lack thereof), so it was a bit of a bright spot. In the context of KH II, Port Royal having all these problems on the first pass means it sticks out like a sore thumb.

Honestly, if they wanted to adhere to the film so badly, I would’ve preferred that Pete and the Heartless not show up at all. The first pass could have had the skeletal pirates as the only villains, and Sora could leave that world wondering why the Keyblade would have brought him there if there were no Heartless to be had. Cut back to Port Royal, and you’d see a figure in a black cloak and hood wandering around, giving Organization XIII a badly-needed tease in this section of the game.

And, if I can nitpick - Sora and his friends explicitly state that Port Royal looks “so different” from any other world they’ve been to. Why would this game not have them adopt disguises? Give KH III another point for that one, though I think it would have been more appropriate - and funnier - if Donald and Goofy had turned into a real duck and dog.

The other Disney world that really has issues with movie adaptation and providing Sora material is Pride Rock. While it’s somewhat less rigid an a recap of The Lion King than Port Royal was for Black Pearl, the absence of any scene that builds to Scar’s succumbing is emblematic of these worlds’ inability to loosen up and be original in their material when it’s called for. Sora’s first encounter with Nala offers some fresh plot, but by the time Simba appears, we’re locked into an uninspired highlight reel of Lion King’s third act. Some lapses of logic plague this world too (the biggest one: why would Sora and his friends run away from the hyenas when they first come to Pride Rock? They have weapons and magic. Pete being there shouldn’t mean anything unless he summons an insurmountable swarm of Heartless). And this is the world that handles Sora the worst in the first pass - or at least, it’s the most frustrating of them in how it handles Sora. There’s the nonsensical and out-of-character plot of his to become king, but more than that, this world has so many opportunities to let Sora matter that aren’t taken. He’s the one who tells Nala that Simba’s alive, but we get a weak version of Rafiki’s “it is time!” moment instead of letting Sora find his old friend. Sora does at least encounter Simba first, and tries to stop him from finding Nala - but he might as well not say anything, because the “pinned ya” moment from the movie plays out as if he weren’t there. The game prompts Sora to cheer Simba up, but he doesn’t do anything of the sort - Simba just walks away, and we get the discount version of the big Hamlet moment. If it weren’t for Sora staying by Simba’s side for the Scar fight, this would be as bad a use of him in a Disney world as anything in KH III.

As with Port Royal, it’s tempting to imagine alternate scenarios. Picture a Pride Lands level where Sora, upon arriving, encounters Simba in the jungle, wtih Timon and Pumba. More is made of their reunion and Simba’s shock at seeing his friend in lion form (one moment from the world as-is that I truly love, because it’s adorable), and the level starts out with a series of short, light-hearted minigames designed to give the player a crash course in controlling the lion mode and offer a springboard for cutscenes letting these two trios bounce off one another in a fun way. You could also use these scenes to let Sora, for the first time, get a hint of the sadness in Simba. Cut to Pride Rock, where Maleficent is actively tempting Scar and providing him with Heartless. It’s the sight of this unnatural force that moves Nala to go looking for help, and this would lead to a “boss” battle where Sora, Donald, and Goofy end up fighting Nala to protect Timon and Pumba. Simba, recognizing Nala, breaks up the fight, and their reunion brings up Simba’s past, prompting Sora to ask the questions that would bring that past to light. When Simba runs off, Nala ends up asking Sora for help, and he follows her to Pride Rock. Cue two cutscenes - one of the Hamlet moment, and one where Maleficent informs Scar that trouble is coming, and gives him his next shot of darkness. When gameplay starts back up, it’s Sora confronting hyenas and Heartless, leading up to a first try at fighting Scar that it’s impossible to win. That would trigger another cutscene where Simba arrives and has his verbal confrontation with Scar, Maleficent would appear and give Scar his final “help,” and then we’d go right into the final battle with Heartless Scar.

Having been frustrated enough with this world to want a complete rewrite of it, I will say that it’s a much more attractive world than Port Royal, and it’s not without its charms. Besides little character moments that I already mentioned, getting to play as a lion is a lot of fun. I do wish that there was more variation on speed depending on the pressure you put on the analogue stick, as Sora can go a bit too fast for me in lion form, but it’s a great change-up from other worlds. And despite the changes I would have made to her introduction, Nala’s presence and interaction with Sora is nice. It’s a shame she and Simba both couldn’t have been party members.

So, I clearly had problems with those three worlds. But what about the other two? Well, while my issues with the larger KH story in this section stand, Agrabah and Halloween Town both hold up much better taken on their own terms. As someone whose disdain for Disney’s DTV sequel craze is only slightly less than my current disdain for their live-action remake trend, I was loathe to think that any of those videos would find their way into Kingdom Hearts back when I first played this game. Return of Jafar being, to my mind, one of the worst of that bunch only reinforced that feeling. But I liked Agrabah in KH II back in the day, and I’d say it holds up nicely. In some ways, I think it’s an improvement on the (surprisingly slight) material it takes from Return of Jafar, if only because it cuts away all the nonsense. Sora serving as an intermediary between Iago and the world’s heroes isn’t his most dramatic role in a Disney story, but it’s just enough to make his presence seem necessary. Riku and King Mickey getting mentioned again keeps the rest of the plot in mind to some degree. And I’ll give them credit for some variety - saving the Disney villain for the second pass in at least one world was a good call. Though, since Maleficent has a personal history with Jafar, it’s a shame she’s not personally involved in the hunt for his lamp.

That’s not an issue with Halloween Town, of course, and it’s in Halloween Town where what they were trying to do with Maleficent’s storyline is most clearly illustrated. The idea of the Mistress of All Evil, greatest of the Disney villains, having to claw her way back to the top of the totem pole after being knocked down in KH I and finding frustration and setback every step of the way, is a wonderful idea. And the pairing of the elegant Maleficent with a slob like Oogie Boogie (and Pete, for that matter) is a gold mine for material. The fact that she just gives up her plan to turn Santa Claus into a Heartless because Oogie is being somewhat rude and amnesiac makes no sense (does she need Oogie for that process? Why would she give up her side of the plan just because he was annoying?), and it undermines her scheming almost as much as the lack of movement in the larger plot does. But just being able to recognize an attempt at a coherent internal narrative for her, when later games turn her into a pointless tease for UX bullshit, counts for something.

And I love Halloween and Christmas Town in this game. I must confess that I’ve never liked the look of Halloween Town in KH I, with its heavy use of browns and purples, but the world in KH II is as perfect a match to the movie as CGI can get. It is gorgeous, and Christmas Town is even more so. I love the little details they put into that world, like the toy train running through the mountains in the background. Playing the vanilla version as I am, I don’t get to see Sora and friends in their unique Christmas Town looks, but it’s still nice to see them running around in that environment.

As with Agrabah, there’s some interesting variety on display in Halloween Town. Adapting material from the movie to make a sequel to the movie is a fun idea. With the events of Nightmare before Christmas in the past, Jack and Santa’s relationship has a nice flavor to it here, with Jack as the exhausting but lovable neighbor for old St. Nick. It’s almost like Jack is Kramer from Seinfeld, and Santa is Jerry. The story here doesn’t give Sora a whole lot more to do than tag along with Jack, which one could argue is barely a step above worlds like Pride Rock and Port Royal. But the details here matter. Jack specifically enlisting Sora and his friends as “bodyguards,” their actions directly helping Jack, and Sora’s love of Santa Claus, may be little things, but they go such a long way to generating a feeling that Sora really does belong in this story, that his role as wielder of the Keyblade has a direct impact on these Disney characters’ lives. I’m so hard on Pride Rock for lacking in those moments, because every other world in this game has them on the first pass - even Atlantica has them.

Santa Claus, and pirates, are two things in this game that awaken a childlike glee in Sora that momentarily overcomes his focus on the mission. There wasn’t necessarily anything like that in KH I, with a younger Sora. He gets into a petty fight with Donald, yes; there was a look of admiration towards Cloud in the Coliseum; he describes the Gummi ship as an “awesome rocket;” and he’s struck with wonder at being able to fly in Neverland. But there isn’t anything as pronounced as his boyish fantasies of being a pirate here, or his delight at meeting Santa. You could argue that it’s a bit of a retcon to do this; Sora didn’t exhibit any love of pirates while on Captain Hook’s ship. But it’s a slight retcon, and that instance could easily be explained away by his being preoccupied by finding Kairi at last and witnessing Riku’s continuing slide to darkness. It’s one change to Sora’s character in KH II that I don’t mind at all. It gives him a new dimension, it opens up opportunities for levity with Sora without turning him into the butt of jokes, and most importantly, it isn’t overplayed. KH III would see Sora grasping at an unfeasible lure of a pirate ship (not unlike the throne of Pride Rock in this game) and try to claim some great parallels or similarities between Sora and Jack Sparrow that are untenable, but here, it’s just a young boy’s daydream, popping up here and there, which is just enough to flesh Sora out and give scenes some charm. And the moments with Santa give some funny and unexpected insight into Sora’s past; Riku being the asshole who went around telling younger kids there was no such thing as Santa Claus fits in perfectly with what we see of him in KH I.

And to close on a positive note: Halloween Town has some of my all-time favorite gameplay material in this series. There is no reason why Jack’s Command should delight me as much as it does, but watching him sweep Sora into a crazy dance to kill Heartless always makes me laugh. And the boss battle with Oogie Boogie is fantastic. Good lead-up in the cutscenes, colorful, unorthodox layout, challenging without being impossible; would that all the boss battles in the series showed this degree of variety and creativity.