#im TIRED. i am EXHAUSTED. I DONT FUCKING CARE | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nikkashidashipper · 10 months

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man this fucking sucks huh

#will i finish this semester or will it finish me?#the saga continue #at this point i should just pull an all weeker #not a fan of this nope not at all #i should have taken that shower maybe it would have made me less mentally ill #just. WHERE THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO FIND ALL THE TIME NECESSARY TO WORK ON ALL THESE ASSIGNMENTS #AND ALSO PREPARE FOR MIDTERMS. WHERE #WHEN AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK ON ALL THIS.#I WANNA LEAVE. I WANNA GO. IM JUST GONNA SKIP TOWN OR SOMETHING IM TIRED OF THIS.#WHATS EVEN WORSE IS ALL THIS WORK IS ARBITRARY. IT HAS NO VALUE. IM SUPPOSED TO WORK ON THIS AN ENTIRE SEMESTER #JUST FOR IT TO ROT ON MY HARDDRIVE OR GET VIPED FROM THE SCHOOL SERVER AT THE END OF THE EXAM WEEK. FUCK ME #im TIRED. i am EXHAUSTED. I DONT FUCKING CARE #!!#fuck #t4lx.txt #yes i am typing this instead of actually working on the assignment due in less than two hours

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lawva-girl · 3 months

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erm chat what is the appropriate reaction when you find out everyone you work with talked shit about you to your manager....

beware the essay in tags

#lol my depression is swinging around the corner #i just want to stop existing #like i dont want to care if they like me... but like genuienly idk how i could be a better supervisor than i am already #sometimes i feel like im actually going crazy on shift now cause people barely listen to me.....#but i alwas give them options #i never force them to do stuff #i literally always let them visit their fucking boyfriend and go to the bathroom #but then they turn around and ignore me #make fun of me #and like i take it in stride.. but im fucking tired #like how the fuck are you guys happy with any shift lead ever?#and like the shift they like? addicted to cigs bc his job is impossible.#the baristas like him #the dm wants him fired #he will literally take work out of peoples hands #maybe they dont like me cause i want them to actually do their job?#but it really hurts to see them call out of my shift #or make fun of me to another person directly in front of me #like im actually so fucking exhausted from them #OMFG i need a therapist #RGHHH

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ozymoron · 7 months

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reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)

#⚠️#personal #having ocd makes making moral decisions so fucking hard for no reason #cause ill see a post thats like info or seems important and like i can tell its that kind of post just by skimming it st first and somethin #clicks in my brain that just tells me if i dont share that post everyone will know and think im a horrible person #regardless of what the actual post is about #i need like a handbook on how to make proper moral decisions #cause like yeah i do care about things i try to share stuff about things i care about and believe are important but sometimes i dont have #the energy to read long as posts and my brain twists it to make it out that people will know and i am the bad guy #idk my ocds telling me even saying this makes me a bad person #the fact i even struggle with this #sometimes i think im not built for social media but really i think social medias not built for people like me #maybe i should get help for my ocd but the idea of describing all the shit going on in my brain to someone just makes me feel scared #cause like i dont know when to draw the line at making something a problem i should actively have a hand in helping #how much is too much when do i stop #<- in regards to my own mental health like the mental exhaustion that can come from it i hope this makes sense #like some things you gotta invest like emotional shit into and like sometimes im just tired and i come on here and im faced with one of #those posts and i just have to debate with myself what the fuck im supposed to do #this is more a me issue than anything i need to sort this shit out with some mental health professional or something #cause like i dont want to have people think i dont care about these things i do and ik pressing reblog takes like no energy but idk man #im not even sure if some of the shit i reblog is cause i care or is just an ocd compulsion #i feel like most times its both #i cant help but think im the problem here i want to be on social media its just so draining having my mind repeatedly hound me for not like #showing enough care (reblogging more posts) about a certain issue online #idk im so tired of it all im so tired of my mind i wish i didnt have ocd #vent #so funny right after i posted this i scrolled down and one of these posts was rigjt beneath it and the debate happens all over again #lord i need to get out of here

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steampoweredskeleton · 5 months

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Ignore

#delete later #in typical birthday fashion i am now exhausted snd overwhelmed and battling a meltdown #i stubbed my toe and now cant put any fucking weight on it #im exhausted from performing appropriate birthday excitement. i dont think i understand birthdays correctly #to me the only relevance of ppls birthday is that i can show that i care about them and give gifts that make them happy or #spend time with them. other than that its just a day. in my head my birthday is just a day but it's a day rhat im expected to be #ecstatic over. i dont understand that. i spend the day worried im not feeling the correct feelings or displaying them right #and worried bc the normal day routine is broken and im anxious bc i don't know what will happen #too much uncertainty. abd rhat anxiety makes me feel guilty. but at the same time bc to me birthdays are avout showing the #person that you care. if everyone ignored it i would start to assume they dont care. idk how to fix my brain on this #at least its only once a year. plus the whole still being alive at 24 thing freaks me out. so when i inevitably have my #meltdown or shutdown it comes with not fun things #i get the same way at christmas except its slightly more socially acceptable for me to hide at christmas.#meltdowns make me angry abd emotional so i know im being a bitch in my head but logic is hard so im just upset and angry #and confused on how im supposed to feel and act. i fucking hate my brain.#i have ordered good comfort food abd have weighted blanket abd new piercing. life is okay #i dont want to see mu parents this weekend but it will be what it will be. im so fucking tired

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actual-changeling · 10 months

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#alex gets personal #i'm just so fucking tired of this #nothing works it never actually gets better it never stops being fucking excruciating work every single day #ive been stringing myself along with empty promises and 'it'll get better'#but it's just. not. getting better #do you know how exhausted i am? because i am not exaggerating or lying when i say that i have been trying not to kill myself since i was #three years old and alone and lonely and hated and disliked and reduced to my mother's puppet #and my father hated from the moment he got informed of my potential existence #and then it just got WORSE #all of it just kept getting worse and worse and it never stopped and i was never not alone and i'm so fucking tired #and did i already mention nothing works anymore #cause you can give me the best fucking pep talk ever and my response will be i dont care i just want it to stop #im just gonna keep distracting myself until i either die or get better #whatever happens first and we all know it won't be getting better so therapy's gonna be fun on wednesday

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piplupod · 2 months

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mistakes were made. should not have gone to library today. i will be leaving the house all five days of the week now (plus we went to a waterside on sunday for several hours) and uhm... i feel like i need to go hibernate for several weeks to feel even remotely okay again fhdkdl i am so tired i can barely think enough to string words together in any comprehendable way 🧍<- upset

#oohoohoo the self destructive ''well maybe I'll just push myself bc im going to be tired either way'' sure was a bad choice!#''lol who cares anymore im sick of being fatigued and im probably just making it up'' you are a fucking idiot god bless your soul #and yet.... the urge to Make It Worse is still so strong.... gee i sure do love p.mdd!#honest to god im so fucking frustrated w this brain lately #been trying to hide any sharps away from myself because I've just been so wildly careening into self destructive tendencies #and im sick of trying to like. control myself. i am my own keeper and im fucking sick of it gjfkdl #im trying so fucking hard to hold it together and keep myself on the right path but im really just incredibly tired #it feels like im trying to wrestle a knife out of a toddler's hand #and then the toddler cries and tantrums bc they wanted the knife #and i have nothing to give them to distract them. except im also the toddler.#idk how long i can keep this up for bc im ALSO managing other ppls emotions and baggage and shit at the centre #and over text. mainly that one person who i wish would just fucking leave me alone #but her grandma is literally on her deathbed so I can't rly try learning how to be firm rn #bc if i try to be firm i worry i will end up being a dick and i dont want to do that while she's struggling w pre-emptive grief #i don't know !!! im just so goddamn exhausted and struggling #and the world seems very cruel and terrifying and im honestly convinced im never going to find a way to exist peacefully in it #like im always going to be scared and struggle to trust ppl and struggle to socialize and feel safe anywhere #im going to be so honest. i wish i had One friend irl fhfkdl like. i think that would help a lot of my issues #to have someone i care about and respect and who actually cares about AND respects me back #and who i could just. be around. exist in the same vicinity. and not feel so scared and unsafe #a bit of a break from those constant feelings while not being isolated #who i could do activities with ???#thats actually so hard for me to imagine ever having ffhdjlsl its been so many years since I've had any semblance of that #it doesn't feel like im ever going to have that again :') it feels so impossible. pipe dream. unrealistic and unattainable #okay i need to shut up fhdksl sorry for being so insane on here every day jfc #one of these days i hope i will be genuinely stable for like... longer than a day fhfkdl #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #self harm mention

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ilonacho · 11 months

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it hit me what makes me the most miserable abt my work week is how it’s just school all over again. just hanging in there until the weekend. repeat. repeat. repeat

#5 outta 7 days im at work. 2 days of freedom #2 days to do chores n run errands n relax n sleep n draw n catch up w/ friends n go places #and if u gotta reschedule itll be weeks before ur available again #like for months now ive tried to get together w/ friends but our days off dont match n shit keeps coming up #not to mention im fucking tired! im exhausted! i want to sleep in and then draw the rest of the day!#i think the worst part is that back in school.. at least it didnt matter as much? because it all led to an end aka graduation?#like i didnt mind the wait for next weekend as much cuz it was temporary #like eventually ill graduate and then ill have freedom! (i thought? for some reason??)#but now its like.. the weeks are going by so fast this year is already almost over i turn 26 in 2 weeks #and this is.. the rest of my life? like youre kidding right? this cant be it?#i get off work n then i have to take care of the cats n chores n then eat dinner n then shower n then its late and i gotta sleep #before work the next day. i dont have time nor energy to rly do anything #and ill get that feeling of like. oh well at least it brings me closer to the next ‘weekend’#but i dont wanna live weekend to weekend #i mean im thankful to have a job n coworkers i love like i truly hate it there sometimes but i also am happy and thankful for it #but yknow.. it shouldnt have to be like this #i worded this so much better in the shower but im tired of feeling like school part 2 like what the fuck man #ive had work every single day since we came back from our trip n i just dont have time/energy for anything #i need to open commissions back up but i havent even gotten around to starting one a friend asked for #not to mention this years christmas card ive barely got the sketch done for #and again. my favourite holiday. halloween is on tuesday and while we did plan halloweeny stuff it just has not felt like halloween #i havent had any ideas/energy/time for any halloweeny art #+chores n errands etc lmao we havent even been to the grocery store yet (calling us out here)#it just. suuuuucks aaaaaass man the world is so beautiful life is a gift i dont wanna spend it like this

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blndspotting · 1 year

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yeah im trying to be positive but i am not passing statistics

#bit of a vent #but my god im just so tired of everything that i don't even care if i fail anymore #like i literally feel like i wanna crawl out of my skin and just hide away #but i can't cause if i dont finish what the hell am i supposed to do bro #i dont wanna have to retake this class and i don't think i'd survive if i did it again #cause i was so overwhelmed the entire semester that i just don't think i can take much more of this #much more of anything really cause ive been crying for the past 20 minutes #im just fucking exhausted. i feel like that all the time but rn its really hitting me

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ohboywonder · 5 months

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#life's a fucking nightmare right now #my boyfriend broke his foot a week before i was supposed to go on a final class trip with my class #the kids are leaving this year and it was supposed to be fun!!#but now I can't go the entire week #im working 24/7 #care work is insane i run the entire household myself #have to go grocery shopping cook clean wash dust hoover etc #have to take care of the bins #have to be in work and plan and prep #have to accompany my bf to the hospital and help translate everything #it is just so much and it doesnt stop #hes getting operate on friday and i cant come into work the entire day tomorrow because of pre op appointments #my kids are going to see the jungle book as a puppet show tomorrow and i am missing out #i hate it here right now #i am so tired #i have to run to doctors and the hospital #his work and my work #it is so exhausting #i dont have free time at the moment #i hate it here #personal #liv talks

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astro-inthestars · 2 years

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Hi guess who feels like he just experienced 8 consecutive days in a matter of 2?

#rennikorambles #holy fuHUCK I AM SO EXHAUSTED. I AM LITERALLY EXHAUSTED #I WOULDNT BE SURPRISED IF I SAY THIS MIGHT BE THE MOST EXHAUSTING TWO DAYS OF MY FUCKING EXISTENCE...#yesterday in class our very first subject was our advisory one and since the cheer dance has been crucial we just went down to practice #great straining start to the day! (i do like our cheer dance though i think we'll beat the other sections but MAN IS IT TIRING.)#and then i had to go over to the avr to get prized and shit for winning 1st place on the spelling bee(it was nothing dont even care abt it)#and then after that immediately had to go down (since this was the end of class) and practice AGAIN for 2 more hours #good god and thats friday for you #and im pretty sure this was when i discovered that my brother (who usually goes home at 4 and my practice ended then)#had left me behind and gone home already. and like usually whenever i have practice and end at 4 we just go home w #*together #but. yeah. that didnt have me feeling good but it was okay #and when i was ready to pass out hoHOH NOO NONO #my aunt decided hey! we should celebrate your wonderful high grades by going out together (me my brother and my cousin) and h #have a sleepover! and we were just. sure ok. so we had to pack IMMEDIATELY and get on going #more stuff and more waiting in traffic happened and shit and more shit #and then we got to the street mall and hogh boy MORE WALKING. but i love the place so i didnt mind (still walking though. haugh)#and then ate at a place ive never eaten at. i liked the food really! but then my stomach decided death for me #(apparently eating dinner 9 hours after lunch isnt good..?) so the rest of the time my stomach was squeezing and i felt like throwing up #but it was fine i didnt throw up! AND THEN ALSO I FAILED TO MENTION. My class paid to reserve 4 hours at a court to practice #which was at 10 am the next day. so i had to sleep early which i did! woke up at 7 <3 watched enola holmes....#bUT I STILL GOT SO FUCKING LATE I ARRIVED AT 11. didnt even get to savor the sleepover haugh..... and then practice OH practice. sufferings #after a whole problem with a bunch of idiots at the court that barged in we decided to cut the practice at 12:30 #i got picked up by my parents then we went home! .BUT ITS NOT OVER YET. WE HAD TO BRING OUR HOUSEHELP TO HER HOUSE #and they said it'd be quick. just a quick drop off to help her.#bUT NOOOOO WE WENT TO THE FILIPINO EQUIVALENT OF COSTCO AND THEN AN AMUSEMENT PARK #WHICH WAS SO COOL OH MY FUCK BUT ALSO HOLY SHIT.#first of all i got to finally try the Vikings ride and a roller coaster! good news i can handle roller coasters!#bad news i cannot handle vikings. theyre.... overwhelming- i couldnt even SCREAM from how scared i was #anyways i roamed phil costco it was so fun. but my poor feet. i have sustained 5 different kinds of body pain.

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buckys-metal-arm · 9 months

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Look man I'm not a fan of Peggy in What If either but the ferocity some of y'all hate her with feels feels really excessive

and before anyone goes "tHen DoN't lOoK aT iT" it's not like I go fuckin looking for it the Bucky tag and the What If tag have been clogged with it recently in light of the show and i am. So tired.

#not tagging this in any main tags because i dont feel like getting eaten alive tonight #but jfc some of y'all are exhausting #like who you like hate who you hate i literally do not care #but for fucks sake im so tired of every marvel tag i go in being a Peggy hate train #and look im not a Peggy apologist and i really hate her character in What If im not trying to defend her #or say you shouldn't have conversations about parts of media that make you angry. lord knows i have on here.#but what i AM saying is some of you are being dramatic as fuck and im so tired of it being in every Marvel space on this god forsaken sight #like. i detest this phrase but please for the live of god some of you need to log off sometimes #and before anyone tells me to blacklist tags. what do you think im doing. it doesnt work man theyre putting in tags #i frequent!! and not in the ones i blocked!! im so tired!!

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kellystar321 · 1 year

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#vent #periodical life updates #OUGHGKJHR IM SO FUCKIGN TIRED!!! i did my two final projects and one of them was late but god fucjgign whatever and i look at my stupid #canvas calendar and apparently while i was doing that i missed two other assignments and discussion boards and im SO TFIGIFJNNG TIRED #I CANT WORK ANYMORE I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE IM SO TIRED. THEY'RE JUST THERE AND THE DEADLINES WERE WRONG AND ITS SO MUCH.#AND IT NEVER FCKING STOPS AND /GODDAMNIT I JUST REALIZED I MISSED DAILY ECA/ FCKGIGJNG SHT OF COURSE I DID GOD #I NEVER HAVE TIME ANYMORE I NEVER GET TO DO WHAT I WANT AND IM SO ANGRY. WHY WAS I FORCED TO DO FOUR CLASSES. I CANT DO FOUR CLASSES.#theres too much goddamn work and i cant do it!! i have two more essays! i have two discussion boards for environmental and another for a #different class and more assignments on top of that AND WHEN CAN EVERYONE SHUT UP AND STOP I DONT CARE ANYMORE I WANT TO BE DONE #AND THIS ISNT EVEN DONE!! BECAUSE I HAVE TO DO MORE FCKING CLASSES IF EVERYONE WANTS ME TO BE A COMPUTER FCKING SCIENCE MAJOR SO BADLY #AND MY SHT WONT TRANSFER AND WHAT DOES IT FCKING MATTER ANYMORE. IM EXHAUSTED AND ITS ALWAYS MORE WORK AND WHO FCKING CARES ANYMORE #IM SO FCIGJGN ANGRY I HATE COLLEGE I HATE THIS WHOLE SYSTEM AND IM SO TIRED ALL THE TIME AND I NEVER GET TO REST!! YOU THINK YOU'RE FINALLY #FINISHED AND THERES ALWAYS FCKIGNG MORE WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE OVER WHEN AM I DONE WHEN AM I /DONE!!!!/#i hate everything everything is bad and i cant even say the truth to anyone ever. no one fucking gets it. no one fucking talk to me anymore

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heyitslapis · 10 months

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vent

#haha now im fucking sobbing im my bathroom bc i was texting one of my only 2 friends (not including my ex) about how nervous i am #then i started in about how i actually dont really want to go out & meet people & go on dates but at the same time #im so extremely tired of being lonely/alone & having absolutely no one to consistently hang out with & im so starved for love & gentleness #and tbqh all i want rn is someone to hold me. i want someone to actively want me/pursue me. i want someone to choose me & care about me #it really fucking hurts & sucks being on everyones backburner. im such a loving person. i have such a big heart & so much love to give #ive always been like that. ive always loved people with my whole being. always been happy & happy to make others happy #ive always prioritized peoples happiness & comfort & well-being FAR above my own #ive always heard the universe gives back what it receives from you......so whens it my turn to be wanted fully & loved in an unwavering way #my love has always been give give give...... i just want to receive the affection. the devotion. the loving tasks. for once. please.....#im not even looking for my forever or for my life partner or w/e. i just want someone who's excited to see me & wants to be in my presence #someone who; even if only for 1 day or 1 week or even 1 month; chooses me. chooses to stay.#i think......im tired. im gonna go play fallout nv until i pass out from exhaustion. im tired #emma vents #vent tag #sad boi hours #sad bitch hours #2023 tag

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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#this just in: local algae enthusiast shocked to find that u feel bad when u dont take care of yourself >:-[#this is bullshit. i am rattling the bars of my cage and also i am standing outside the door with the key #what do u mean i cant not sleep enough. intensely focus for 6.5hrs nonstop and have to take care of additional stuff floating around.#and then spend all my time agonizing over not being productive enough?#ugh. its exhausting. and its one thing to live like this and love what ur doing. its another when u dont fucking care so all ur time feels #empty and pointless bc all u do is work. bleh i just wanna draw all the time but coloring takes so much time when u wanna make complicated #things :-( so its like draw something new or spend 3hrs coloring and i hate coloring :-P #its also frustrating bc when i read papers associated with the work ill be doing in the fall i actually enjoy it #and thats what i wanna do in my free time but that space is so limited bc working takes up all the space #and drawing takes a lot of time. but hey i can cut out more space by not taking care of myself 😎#ugh. dont b like me. draw a healthy line between academia and life #otherwise its like yay reviewers have approved ur 1st authored paper and im like i could not even begin to care #light all my data on fire for all i care. i would feel nothing #and im not gonna rake od measurements today. fuck u. im tired and if i accidentally killed a culture ill be sad #ugh. but i should. but i have to do some coding before the end of the day and i cant if i have to spend another hr here 😫#ugh. just a few more months #unrelated

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silverislander · 11 months

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if someone else shows more than two indications that they like a thing that's a good, normal way to tell they like that thing, which is normal, because people like things. but if I have more than two indications of liking a thing that means i am irrevocably obsessed with the thing in a way that deserves mockery actually. this is a worldview that makes sense

#i do. a lot of mental gymnastics to internally justify my anxiety. and its fucking exhausting and i hate it #levi.txt #i talked about carrie in One class Once mentioning i was writing my essay on it. i made a halloween wallpaper w a still from the movie #bc i like carrie! its an interesting story. its not smth ive ever become completely hyperfixated on but i do like it #but i couldnt use the wallpaper for more than a week bc i was like 'people are going to think im obsessed'#like. i cant show any interest in smth or else it becomes 'people will think youre a freak about it'#were going to watch tlou in class on halloween and i just know its going to be difficult #bc whenever smth i love is mentioned i have to put a lid on my emotions to the point that it barely looks like i care at all #bc me being excited is so often 'too much' (both in my mind and historically from the perspective of others)#i am IN the 'obsessed with stories' major and i wont even let myself be visibly into stories. make it make sense #just. aughhhh i dont hold literally anyone else to these standards and its tiring! and i wish my brain would stop torturing me w it #i wish i could just be excited and passionate abt my favourite things without feeling guilt or anxiety abt it #im working on it. im doing it anyway and its improving its just slow going

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diegoshargrieves · 1 year

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listening to my parents talk about me is so fucking funny. "she's dealt with us for so long that at this point she's done. she's mentally checked out from having to give a shit about anyone. can you believe how corruptible she is just because she's almost an adult and she thinks that we're not her problem anymore?"

like man you are literally so close. so fucking close.

#no it's not that ive dealt with everyone for my whole life and now im selfish and dont want to give a shit about anyone anymore #its that ive dealt with everyone my entire life ive been an emotional support pillar ive been rotting in this toxic dysfunctional household #ive been a third parent ive stepped in for my dad when he spontaneously decides to be a deadbeat ive supported my mom without fail #whenever shes needed it for years. ive dealt with everyones fits of mania & psychosis & breakdowns & chronic pain & depressive episodes #ive had my mental illness trivialized and belitted and downplayed. im exhausted and traumatized and so fucking burned out #of course it looks like ive given up on everyone from the outside because im struggling !! im struggling mentally and emotionally #and its spilling out in all the wrong ways and they just see it as me letting my anger ruin my character and everyone else around me #they dont care if theres something wrong with me even though im throwing out signs and cries for help literally wherever i can #they just care that theyre affected by it and inconvenienced by my deteriorating mental condition #they think this mentally ill freak is just what i am at this point and they cant stop emotionally blackmailing me #by reminiscing about how i used to be so kind and optimistic. i wish they would just fucking see me for once #ive played the role of the good emotional support eldest daughter my entire life. why didnt they think it would blow up at some point #and when i have tried opening up in moments of severe emotional vulnerability they just throw it back in my face later on #while simultaneously telling me i just need to change my outlook on life because im still young and cant define myself by childish problems #mom you are depressed and anxious you should recognize it better than anyone. you should be able to see it for what it is #instead of telling me to go spend a week volunteering at a cancer hospital so i can go see what real problems exist for people in the world #and what other people are going through and maybe ill come out with a new appreciation for life #mom just bc people are dying of cancer doesnt mean i can't be depressed just bc other people have it worse doesnt mean i cant have it bad #im so fucking tired!#3 am vent post yippee i am going to regret oversharing on the internet so badly when i wake up tmrw

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