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#im a little insensitive i guess
tianshiisdead · 7 months
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im happy my post is garnering discussion but honestly i wasnt around for 2018-2021 fandom on tumblr and i was mainly talking about how its kind of silly to get mad at people for portraying colonizer countries as mean, or calling it demonization and stuff. like its okay not to like personally portraying ur fav characters as mean or part of the state, but getting irritated at the fact that it exists or is popular imo kind of misses the fact that this… is the state and nation personification fandom. and its hard to say its not canon when canon did once portray the characters in uniform and at times involved in their state activities… like the early strips discussing western imperialism in china is literally ‘china being bullied by the allies’ ‘france wanting to grope china’ ‘china being treated like a maid’ etc etc like they were very much. the state LOL also china and japan’s canon relationship, as much as I have my issues with it, has an entire thing about china being stabbed by japan… i do feel like hetalia started out as a history nerd’s history exploration that blended humour with ‘what i find cute’ with satire etc etc, which inevitably involves illustrating the personifications as vessels of state and culture, and although the modern strips have deviated quite a bit… well, different people will approach this series for different reasons, right? Whether its serious or comedic content showing the characters as mean or imperialist or unpleasant, it’s not something that deviates too far from canon (if we take all canon eras into consideration) nor is it surprising given how history laden the topic is.
#diary#hetalia#hater tag#also have some issues with some things being called drama…#like i know some of u think of me and some others as drama stirring little devils#honestly i dont enjoy drama that much but ill become upset when i see things that i see as racist or insensitive…#because im of the opinion that this fandom requires extra sensitivity given the subject matter.#let people have fun#but#also be careful yk? i guess for me personally im always trying to be careful#when im out of my depth i try to talk to ppl with better understanding while doing my own research#and if ive written or expressed antyhing bad (which i certainly have even on this blog many times before)#i try to change my stances with new info… and like#this is important to me and its important for me to read ppls thoughts bc.#i know what its like to be treated racistly and dismissed. or to have things and history precious to me twisted#but anyways rambling aside… i guess what i want to say is i understand it seems annoying but#if you post something insensitive… and someone gets upset… then thats just how it is. hetalia is sensitive#again ive definitely posted bad insensitive things. ive been told im acting out of line.#and it sucks. but… sometimes you have to understand ur own irritation doesnt outweigh the hurt#and listen a little#sometimes i like things that i then find are insensitive or cruel. and id rather not engage with it than dismiss peoples hurt… or something#honestly i keep most of my whining private i promise JLKFHDJGLKFH BC FOR THE MOST PART I THINK I CAN TELL THE DIFF BETWEEN#when i have a real issue and when im just nitpicking#so i keep my more petty whining or basic stuff private#but if i see something egregious then i dont want to be quiet#and if a friend of mine (esp if theyre a kid) is upset or hurt by racism I dont want to be quiet
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yellowhearther0 · 2 years
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probs gonna log off just so im not stuck in a doomscrolling loop but we'll see i guess
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pinkaditty · 15 days
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Tokyo Debunker Headcanons
so. im insane LMFAOOOOOO but no seriously. im not even gonna elaborate. im posting these strictly as an interest check bc if anyone's interested ill keep posting them.
Body Type/Various Measurements Tokyo Debunker hcs:
FROSTHEIM ONLY (interest check!)
a/n: hihi as most of my consistent readers know, i am a biomed major and work in a med field. i love human anatomy. i couldn’t resist the urge to do this once i noticed that Lucas has a wider and taller frame than Kaito. it’s soso interesting i was just like “oh wait, lucas looks… larger than kaito?” and then i confirmed he was, his shoulders were broader and his waistline, albeit proportional, was wider. it’s so interesting. i had to. sorry!
cw: ??? hcs i guess! not trying 2 be insensitive but if u have an ed and seeing weights triggers u or something don't look at this post. i think that's it? oh also ts is not proofread i fear! i spat this out on paper and decided it was good 2 go!
MINORS DNI THESE HCS INCLUDE NSFW THINGS!! THANK YOU!!
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PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE READING HCS:
note that the measurements may be misleading: for example, a waistline that is several inches smaller than bust or hip does not imply an hourglass shape unless specified. smaller waistline is proportionate to larger bust and hip, provides “normal” rather than “hourglass”. waistline larger or in similar value to bust or hip also does not imply overweight unless specified. subject may have different body type (i.e. pear or triangular), which consists of a larger waistline while still appearing lean (used a body visualizer, so feel free to input the values into one to better see my vision!). i did use a bmi calculator for this, but it is important to note that while some may appear obese or overweight based on weight, these boys have been trained for combat and usually consist of high muscle composition, which weighs more in less quantities than fat. either that, or they’re just unusually tall with a higher body mass and are inevitably going to weigh more. as for penis length: as much as we all appreciate monster cocks, i wanted to make this as realistic as possible. in japan, the penis length is generally equivalent to 7.9% of the body height. most, if not all lengths here, are based off of the values calculated. for our sakes, though, i rounded up a little teehee!!!! and i will admit, some of them i increased a little bit to fit my specific interpretation of the characters (specifically, the tall ones; for example, Tohma landed at around 6in like Jin, but i gave him 7in to account for some diversity in endowment + i jus feel like he'd be longer LOL). girth and other proportions are based purely in my own speculation. 
Jin Kamurai: Height is abt 6’1.5, so taller than average, but not super tall. Weight is abt 187 lbs or 84.8218 kg (not much muscle definition, but strong core and muscular arms needed to wield heavy sword), 40in underbust circumference, 30in waist, 42in hip. Triangular body type.
Excess notes: Upturned eyes, sharp nose, strongly defined cupid’s bow lips. Broad, unusually flexible shoulders. Hands are long and slender, wrists unusually small. Flatter than a wooden board in the back. Thighs and calves not very well-trained, but strong enough to give him a good base for combat. Penis length 6in, not particularly girthy or lengthy. Happy trail is present but almost invisible, silver hair against white skin relatively hard to spot. Keeps it hairy but does trim occasionally. 
Tohma Ishibashi: Height is around 6’1, taller than average. Weight is around 185 lbs or 83.9146 kg (enough muscle definition to be skilled in combat and wield axe, that and generally large height explain larger weight), 39in underbust, 29in waist, 42in hip. Rectangular body type.
Excess notes: Straight almond eyes, long straight nose, regular cupid’s bow lips. Long neck, very pronounced collarbones. Palms especially wide, fingers long and slender. Does not have much of an ass to work with I fear. Similar to Jin in that calves and thighs aren’t well-trained, but good enough to provide a strong base for axe-swinging. Penis length 7in, more in length than girth. Slight curve to the right. Well trimmed, no happy trail. 
Lucas Errant: Height is around 6’, taller than average, but not super tall. Weight is around 213 lbs or 96.6152 kg (large muscle definition despite being shorter, which is why he weighs more), 42in underbust, 30in waist, 46in hip. Hourglass body type.
Excess notes: I hc him to be mixed Jamaican/British + suffers from Acrofacial vitiligo (spots appear typically on face around openings, but in his case it appears on the back of his head which causes the lighter hair color there; has light spots on inner eye, under nose, and on hands, feet, and genital area). Wide, upturned eyes, small pronounced button nose, thicker lips with slight cupid’s bow. Broad shoulders. Hands thicker but wider, very heavy-handed. Has largest ass in Frostheim. Thighs and calves very well-trained, less likely to lose balance than Jin or Tohma during combat. Penis length 6.5in (used a different avg, as he’s not japanese but jamaican), thicker than usual, some varicose vein, slight left curvature. Likes to upkeep happy trail. Doesn’t trim often.
Kaito Fuji: Height is around 5’10, closer to average height. Weight is around 134 lbs or 60.7814 kg (not much muscle definition, gets minimal exercise, has defined core for archery’s sake), 34 in underbust, 28in waist, 36in hip. Rectangular body type.
Excess notes: Wide upturned cat-like eyes, sharp upturned nose, thin upper lip, bottom lip typical size. Long neck, pronounced bone structure (slightly visible spine). Hands are small and slender. Comparable to Jin in that he doesn’t have much of an ass, but isn’t quite as flat as Jin. Has more core strength than thigh or calf strength, but can establish an okay base for archery. Penis length is 5.5in, somewhat thick. Light happy trail and doesn’t grow much pubic hair. 
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i want u all 2 be honest with me... am i insane 4 doing this LMFAOAOAOAOAOOO
need 2 find a new roommate bc this one keeps egging me on like "ok u ate with these descriptions" like yes thank u hype man!!!! im gonna get full of myself if u keep saying this shit
anyways. i hope you all enjoyed! im honestly not expecting this 2 do numbers but if anyone wants me 2 continue then i will!! im also working on requests in the background so things may take longer to pump out, but i will do them! until next time, my loves!
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blackpearlblast · 9 months
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hey, if my ask is insensitive or simply too much work/you dont want to give your opinion/energy thats ok, and im sorry for bothering you if it is. ive seen many jewish people say "from the river to the sea" is a dogwhistle/generally antisemitic phrase to use, but you used it in your golem art's text part(incredibly moving text btw.) im asking you bc you mentioned youre jewish and i thought you might have insight or thoughts to give on why you use it/what you think about the first statement about the phrase?
hi, yes, i would be glad to talk about my perspective on this! first of all, i do want to say that i think a lot of palestinian bloggers have already talked about this and their voices will always be what you want to seek out first when educating yourself. however, i do know the crowd of people claiming that "from the river to the sea" is antisemitic/genocidal has been very loud so i understand why you would want to hear a jewish perspective on it too. second, in order to explain why i think "from the river to the sea" is not antisemitic will involve me comparing it to actual antisemitic, nazi slogans and dogwhistles and talking about what they mean. so just a heads up for that before it comes up.
the full phrase is "from the river to the sea, palestine will be free!" i think a lot of times in accusations of antisemitism people leave off the second half of the phrase in order to claim it is calling for something else to happen from river to sea (like the expulsion or execution of all jews.) but that's just like, not, ever, a thing? that is said? you can tell the pieces of the phrase go together because they rhyme and also are said together by palestinians and allies near constantly. it's "from the river to the sea, palestine will be free." and i think all of the fearmongering relies on a good bit of ambiguity beyond that too. "what does a 'free palestine' mean? could it meant they want to throw all the jews into the sea?" - some zionist when i tried to look up the origin of the phrase in case there was anything really important i was missing that i should cover in this. there's like this idea that they can't really be asking for a free palestine, there has to be some kind of catch.
i think it's also important to look at the circumstances that this slogan was born under. the thing about modern day palestine and occupied palestine, on which israel tries to build itself, is that even though spatially the land stretches from river to sea, the people's experience of it does not. because of the apartheid system of checkpoints, ID-based restriction of movement, and blockades (in the case of gaza), there exist great gulfs in the land that are impossible or near impossible for people to cross. there can be a place a couple miles away, that due to lacking the "proper credentials", is more distant for palestinians living under apartheid than perhaps a destination a cross-country trip away would be for you. so i see the call for a free palestine specifically "from river to sea" to remove those gulfs and allow freedom of movement for everyone. i find very little of this has to do with jews, personally. the only connection is that the people who set up and maintain this system of apartheid happened to be jewish. and i hope that we would all agree that resisting one's oppressors- even if those oppressors are also marginalized and oppressed in other ways- is not a bad thing.
but it is true that many white supremacist/antisemitic slogans may focus more on the creation of a (white) nation than actually the jews themselves, since they have already established among themselves that a white nation has to mean no jews. so let's look at some of the more famous nazi rallying cries and how different they are from "from the river to the sea."
the fourteen words are most primarily known to be "we must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children." wow! i guess we could find some superficial similarities between this and river and the sea, like if we really wanted to stretch it. but personally, there's a ton of alarm bells in my head that this phrase sets off while river to the sea doesn't. the emphasis of "we" and "our" when used in this way really implies an us versus them narrative. and here the ambiguity really is present and malevolent! a "free palestine" is a palestine unrestricted by apartheid and colonialism. a "secure existence" and "future for white children" is uhhh, what does that Mean. like, we Know what that means right. but they aren't saying it. we can very easily find people saying what a free palestine means if we listen to palestinians. please, please listen to palestinians. there are so many people talking about what their idea of a decolonized palestine looks like, but the basics are generally one state, for all people, with equal rights for all, and the ability for those who were expelled from their homes in the nakba and all of the many long years following it, to return.
"blood and soil" is even vaguer. but thankfully(?), nazis were very enthusiastic about explaining what the phrase meant to them. "blood" is the superior aryan bloodlines and eugenic values that they wished to propagate and the "soil" represents the land of germany and the desire to "reject modernity and embrace tradition" by leaving urban life behind and living in the idealized countryside. (see we got a twofer here!) the only possible connection i could make to from the river to the sea here is the emphasis on the land but that on its own doesn't feel significant to me. land and the place where you live is very important to all kinds of humans all over the world. and i think another particular aspect of "blood and soil" is the emphasis of how you are living on the land. it's not just enough to be able to live in your homeland with freedom of movement and the ability not to be killed with impunity by occupying soldiers (lucky you!), you want to live there in a state of racial purity exemplified by eugenic values. in general, in nazi slogans, there is a particular fixation with a society shaped to represent these specific values. the call is not for freedom from repression, from an actual occupying colony, but instead from the considered bad actors and impure values coming from within their society. freedom from having degenerates sullying their perfect aryan nation. there is a plea to be able to get rid of those who do not match their view of a perfect society. the plea for a free palestine is, so much, a plea to be able to keep their family members, their friends, the friendly stranger down the block. that is not a fascist ideology, that is the will to live. and though i am referring to the ideology surrounding "blood and soil" in past tense because i am referencing the coining of the phase, these sentiments and slogans are obviously (and unfortunately) alive and well today. though, there is a particular irony to white american neo-nazis chanting it on stolen land.
"they will not replace us"/"jews will not replace us" refers to the "great replacement" theory, that jews are orchestrating a mass replacement of white people with immigrants (specifically non-white, often muslim immigrants.) i do not think this slogan has even any superficial similarities to from the river to the sea. you could definitely compare this sentiment to israel's attempts to maintain an artificial ethnic majority, since in many ways the potential "solution" to the "great replacement" would also need to involve creating/maintaining an artificial ethnic majority. (this is obviously not saying that israel subscribes to the great replacement theory, but that the tactic of maintaining artificial ethnic majorities is shared between zionism and great replacement theorists, since both ideologies rely on a specific ethnicity being the majority in their country.)
dogwhistles like 88, triple parenthesis, etc. rely on being vague symbols so that only those who know what the symbols stand for know what they mean. (88=HH=heil hitler, the triple parentheses representing the supposed (((echoes))) of jewish influence throughout history.) "from the river to the sea, palestine will be free" is a complete phrase that directly names its cause. people who say "free palestine" want you to know they stand with palestine. i guess if you wanted to be going for the most bad faith reading possible you could say "free palestine from what?", to which every palestinian and everyone who has been remotely paying attention to what palestinians are saying would shout: "from apartheid, colonialism, ethnic cleansing, and currently, very open and deliberate genocide!" like, it is true that if you felt you did not glean every aspect and detail of what the people in the occupied territories are calling for, you would be correct! but they are answering this. they want to talk about it. the reason i do not believe from the river to the sea is genocidal or antisemitic is because i have been reading and listening to what palestinians are saying and none of them have said they want to kill all jews. they do not want genocide, they want to go home! they just want to go home. i don't know most of this was written pretty tongue in cheek because i was talking about nazi slogans and nazis are pathetic and even more pathetic when held up against a movement of people who are legitimately trying to fight against a great wrong that was committed against them, but i just get so sad saying this. they just want to go home. haven't you ever felt that way before?
in the end, words mean things, and even more importantly, the contexts they're said in mean things. and while it's true that antisemites do hide behind dogwhistles and vague statements for plausible deniability, the alternative meaning does have to actually be established somewhere for them to be effective. from the river to the sea lacks an established alternative meaning. fearmongering from people who refuse to listen to what palestinians are actually saying does not make sense to me as legitimate definitions of the phrase.
also!!!! i'm sorry this got so Fucking long, thank you if you actually made it this far! i intentionally used "from the river to the sea" in my artists statement because it frustrates and upsets me so much to see people making such a big fuss about it when actual antisemitism goes unpunished. like a lot of the phrases i talk about here were chanted at the charlottesville neo-nazi march in 2017 and while many people were deeply upset and angry at what happened, the jewish community was not rallied around even Close to as much as it right now. and with joe biden saying "if it weren't for israel, not a single jew in the world would be safe" at a fucking hanukkah celebration i just. i don't know. the push back against "from the river to the sea" has so much to do with backing colonial and imperial interests and so so little to do with our actual safety. the concept of our identities and safety is being weaponized against palestinians, and at the same time makes it harder to identify actual antisemitism. and that hurts.
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jazzyblusnowflake · 5 months
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I've got one for ya. What were the first kisses in the N/V/Uzi relationship like. Uzi and N first, Uzi and V's first, and V and N's first.
(Bonus points for V and N's first kiss at the manner for some bittersweet angst)
Also, good golly gumdrops, love your stuff, even if you don't answer this one, still gonna keep enjoying
oh oh i love these kinds of ideas :"D tho it takes a bit of brain power to think of a good scene uhm.... lessee....
Ok so first up, although im still waiting for a canon first kiss for NUzi- since they are a thing now, i still like to think of something separate for my own version- [since obviously the main show isn't going towards a poly dynamic lmao]
See, we all know that the show is fast paced and its hard to find any empty spaces between each event, hell it almost feels like earth was blown apart and the DDs were on copper 9 the next day, Liam we need a fucking timeline order. 🙄 soooooo i personally like to imagine that there's a lot more time between events than is shown in the actual show. like- lets maybe put a few days between Uzi administrating N and V and the arrival of J and Cynessa- like.... maybe lets put a few NIGHTS between that??? what's the freaking rush 😭
But anyway yeah- i would put the first NUzi kiss somewhere around betwenn the camp and the flashback eps probably :p my idea would be that since the camp incidents, Uzi would be having a lot of bodily changes to deal with, one of which being her inability to tolerate the sun much anymore. other things would probably be the growth of literal flesh and blood and bones inside of her and lets make this morbid by adding her throwing up blood but keeping it a secret from everyone :p she may sneak back to the other two at night and stay with them- clearly shaken up- [V probably also being shaken up because on one hand she's terrified of seeing this transformation take place- but at the same time, she clearly cares enough about Uzi AND Ns happiness...] asking for help and advice- and the 3 grow closer during this. They practice with her for flying or controlling her tail- maybe some stuff on her control on oil hunger too. she probably also gets some fighting, sneaking and sparring practice with V-
//insert one of those cheesy moments where V riles up Uzi enough to tag her on the snowy ground but then realizes its the same position she got V in her solver!mode and starts panicking and pushing herself back- V getting back up and asking what the heck was that and Uzi just saying she doesn't want to hurt her and V is an insensitive jerk for making her spar with her in the first place and tries to fly away to calm down-..... which probably just ended with her falling face first in the snow and a lecture from both N and V.
overall they all started subconsciously getting even closer. tbh there's so many things i could add here but i gotta keep it a few NIGHTS not a few MONTHS until the next event 😭
either way during this i guess N and Uzi could have maybe ended up alone at some point- maybe after a flying lesson having gone right and they were a little too happy on top of a building or upturned bus or something lol- i imagine after a hug maybe Uzi asks if she could kiss N but quickly backtracks saying nvm it was stupid or something but N softly says its okay- //probably picks her up too, adding to her embarrassment- cuz she's short lmaooooo// and Uzi just decides to give a small unsure smooch- but decided to make it not too long. they decided to just hug after that to not let the other see them blushing like hell 😭 [also they didn't really decide anything after this cuz they are idiots????😭😭😭]
but anyway for the Vuzi first kiss i have no idea if or when V would return if she's been set to remain alive in the canon- but for me its probably when she appears again in her normal form, as herself. not a clone. Alice isn't alive to take the cores and make them sluggish with heat and the sentinels wouldn't have a chance against the solvers centipede lookin ass form.
Anyway if we consider that one way or another Uzi, N and V will meet up again, [and N and Uzi preferably get to share a better kiss this time-] the first thing Uzi is doing is landing a swift punch in Vs face and then kissing the daylights out of her- //confusing herself and everyone in the area in the process including V herself...// overall she would scold V on the whole "i trust you" shtick and leaving them alone- but yeah :p [ keep in mind that im also considering a few nights between when J and Cynessa show up and when they decide to actually go and find and search the labs, because PLOT REASONS :D ]
as for the first Envee kiss- ill do you one better and make it more angsty and say that N and V used to always spend time with each other and do silly things like hold hands in secret or send internal chat messages to eachother, draw and read books together- maybe N used to put flowers for her sometimes. But at some point a certain little corrupted drone started feeling possessive of her favorite "big brother" figure not spending time with her anymore...
one time, N had asked V if he could kiss her and at that they were both blushing messes but before V could respond they get interrupted- maybe by someone giving them orders or maybe by Cyn. either way, V quickly whispers to him "later, i promise" with a smile, making N happy and giddy. but the later never comes... V becomes comatose soon after... N sadly reading books to her and sometimes whispering to her to wake up and that she still has to keep her promise...
anyway after all things are said and done in the future and the solver is defeated- whether they are still living on copper 9 or any other planet idk- N, V and Uzi are all close, but since both N and V are close to Uzi, they also start spending more time with each other too. maybe one time on a walk or going out and about N was able to catch up with V and they reminisce about old memories they can now remember; and when V was finally able to open up a bit to N, he mentions that he still remembers the promise and asks her if he could kiss her again and she lets him.
and thaaaats all the brain power i have for tonight... i think... hope it made yall smile or cry or idk something lmao. :")
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nocofamilyau · 1 year
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id like to see how you tackle mikes DID in a... yk... less problematic way :P my thought is that during the adoption process he went through a lot of trauma then developed DID and his alters later on? I dunno. what are your thoughts?
I mean, it'll be interesting to say the least.. I mean, I don't have DID, I don't know anyone with DID, but I'll try to be as considerate about how I portray it, like I won't put any reset buttons anywhere ill tell ya that
what im thinking is that Mikes bio parents were shit, like they were both alcoholics or something, and the only family member around that was capable enough to take care of him was his grandpa, but yknow he was old and had a lot of health problems. Chester showed up when mike was suddenly sent into foster care after his grandpa died, guess that makes the most sense..
Svetlana was caused from older foster kids bullying him (he was usually the runt of the litter)
Manitoba was purely an escapism thing, like when he was little he was really into adventurer/wildlife shows (probably still is now)
idk maybe Vito comes later (I got a comment on another post saying that Mike could have got Vito from accidentally drinking beer thinking it was soda and I thought it was fucken funny,, like I can kinda see that happening like at a friends pool party or something lol but idk if that might come off as a bit insensitive) but idk what ideas id have for him
I like to think Mal doesn't exist in this au, no shit on him I just don't know how he'd fit into something like this
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WIBTA if I blocked/ghosted this guy I can't quit?
so I've(nb25) known this guy(m29) about 8 months, but we haven't seen each other that many times. maybe 10 total. It's just a friends with benefits situation but he's very generous, he's splurged on hotels in the city for us we didn't really need, expensive meals, he's also just given me pocket money straight up before. He will kind of do whatever I want, all I have to do is mention it and he will make it happen. i mention I wanna see the ocean at 9pm and he's driving us around to find a beach that's open. i mention a food im craving and he's already ordering it, etc. he's not rich either, he lives with his parents(I think it's more for cultural reasons than financial) but his job pays pretty well I guess. he talks about the money and I think he's trying to impress me but I know so little about money and still rely on my parents I don't even really have the context. he's constantly trying to impress me with stuff like that or how much he can bench press and i find it super off-putting and don't respond to it. He's been nothing but nice to me I think, but I think he's got issues and he can't really open up emotionally. I am very suspicious of how "nice" he is and I find his positivity to be really invalidating sometimes.
Recently I got mad at him for an insensitive comment, and while I was chewing him out he just smiled at me and kept saying "I like you". It really irked me and I felt like he wasn't taking me seriously, even after asking him why he was reacting that way he just elaborated saying he liked me because I stick up for myself ? I was upset so I kicked him out of my place, it was the middle of the night. He left with a smile on his face still. it creeped me out and I almost felt like he was gonna come back and kill me while I was home alone.
I know that I'm not into him. not just that but I actively think he's annoying, and his toxic positivity thing really gets on my nerves. Ive explained that to him and he still wants to hang out. every time were together, our dynamic gets worse. im not mean to him, but I don't hold back when I think he's making something up to sound cool/nice or being fake. he says he likes my honesty and often puts me on a pedestal for it, and im constantly having to take myself off the pedestal bc im just a human being, capable of lying and inauthenticity.
He knows I don't want a relationship and I don't think that's what he wants either? hes never asked. i know he's dating and looking for someone though. I don't even really know what he meant when he said he liked me.
Every time I see him, I end up feeling like I don't wanna see him again. I find him really annoying and end up feeling really alone with him. ive tried to break it off before which he respected but would still DM me on insta occasionally, and it's bad but eventually I just went back to him bc I liked the way he was nice to me and spent money on me. it's really pathetic but it makes me feel worthwhile? but I want to stop seeing him. and im thinking, he doesn't have my phone number and I could just block him on Instagram then Id be done with it. I think we're bad for each other and that I probably frustrate him more than he shows, I think he tried to make me jealous recently by talking about some "beautiful blonde girl" he slept with, who didn't have a "good heart" like me or something. it felt weird and negg-y. overall just really weird, bad vibes. Would I be the asshole if I just blocked him ? i have a feeling that the only other way this will stop for us is with something worse than that.
What are these acronyms?
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juni-ravenhall · 10 months
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how i wouldve rewritten the sso intro quests (off the top of my head in like 10 min and im not a professional writer just a hobby gamedev)
they can 100% keep the ferry cutscene it was cute
we are welcomed to the camp by justin and told that this is the moorland stables and his dad owns it, he hopes you'll enjoy your time. now lets walk over the bridge from moorland->camp to show you your cabin and meet maya.
near the cabins, maya is holding the starter horse (by the reins like when we lead) and talking to lisa (and maybe alex) when we arrive. we say hi, she tells us this is your lesson horse for now and she already got it ready, commenting on that it can be a bit difficult but nothing major, just nobody has really clicked with it yet (similar what she says in new intro).
there is a moment of a cutscene between the horse and mc, showing that we feel some kind of bond or intrigue as a soul rider, mc has a dialogue/thought like "i feel like this horse is looking at me almost like a human" or idk something.
lisa says hi and something similar as new intro - that shes there to get used to horses again after her trauma and taking it slowly.
justin says he has to go help another camper, bye. maya says, lets go to the paddock and you can try getting on the horse, we're going to have a lesson with everyone soon but there's some time until then.
maya helps us get up on the horse in the paddock, while lisa is leaning on the fence, watching.
we learn the controls how to move, the same basic of the new intro.
maya asks how we are feeling, and that it looks like we have a good handle on this horse already, like we are a good fit.
The dramatic cutscene i need: the camera cuts from us sitting on the horse to some kind of magic or fripp related thing right next to the paddock - it could be the fripp ghost, it could be something else. (something nobody else can see.) our horse spooks at the mysterious thing and we fall off!
mc goes "urgh, ow, ow!" and we're laying on the ground, holding our leg/arm/whatever. but the camera showed that lisa (with a worried face) very quickly ran over as we fell and now bends down next to us, while maya is catching the horse.
the camera shows a close up shot of some strange little light around lisas hand as she touches our hurt bodypart. mc then quickly starts relaxing from the pained face. lisa asks if we're okay, and mc is like "yeah, that hurt, but... i guess its not that bad, its not really hurting now...?"
as that scene happened, our starter horse came back towards us, and it lowers its head to sort of nuzzle us as we sit on the ground with lisa, as if to say "sorry, you okay?" (this is to help show the horse isn't scary and didnt mean to throw us off.)
mc cautiously pets the horse's head, there's a moment of animation between caution to then relaxing and accepting the horse's apparent apology.
maya is back in the shot, asks if we're okay, and we nod, lisa says "it seems they're fine". maya or lisa offers their hand to get us up.
maya says the best thing is to get right back up in the saddle, if we really aren't hurt and feel okay. lisa looks hesitant and says we dont have to get back up right now if we dont want to, because that was scary and its okay to be scared, but she agrees maya is right about not letting the fear take over too. maya might say "sorry, i didnt mean to be insensitive, i know you went through a lot lisa" and lisa is like "its alright, dont worry".
mc says we're getting back on, so we do and we have some other little practice, like the full stop.
justin comes back after that, and says we're ready to have the lesson now. now there are some bobcats around (not just random anonymous npcs nobody cares about) and some npcs that look more similar to mc aka camp participants.
here the lesson (implied to be happening with other camp participants, whether they can be shown in the paddock or only outside it) could be a small test where the player has to follow the lines at the correct gait, since this would come back with dressage later in the game (assuming it will be added properly) and the "follow the line" in some other gameplay (druid training, foal training on south hoof, etc)
after that we learn how to jump with a very small jump, and lisa on the side is like "you can do it!", after the jump there's a small cutscene of mc patting the horse and the horse looking happy (bonding moment). maybe here there could be some extra drama, show the player someone watching from the shadows, or a DC drone, ...or not if thats too much.
now maya and justin introduce that we're going to do a small simple race, here more or less same as in new intro. lisa says we inspired her with our braveness and she gets on starshine and joins the race (we can see her riding it ahead of us).
at the end of the race lisa is happy and we're all having fun. (here's another chance to add in a menacing person/drone watching from the shadows, if not before this, but again, maybe thats too much.)
justin now helps us get off the horse (still on the new island thingy, not at moorland stables) and we move over to the stalls and learn how to groom and feed our horse there. here we also learn how to buy horse feed and fill the bucket.
after this, it would be okay to introduce linda, reading as she is in the new intro. (lisa could ask what shes reading and linda says "100k knights of unistria vampire AU" and lisa says "oh, you printed out fanfics again, i shouldve guessed...")
but when linda says the "we've met before" thing, give mc an option to answer - "i also feel like we met before, but where?" or "im not sure...", small changes to this dialogue to make it better and more immersive for the player.
from here you could either jump to the dream sequence in a similar way its done now, but maybe show vaguely the other soul riders in the dream *while we havent met them yet*. i do think the dream could also be improved - show us 4 ghostly horses instead of 2 to represent the soul riders horses, and do some of the camera work differently for other parts.
the next day, we leave our cabin and maya is outside, there's a cutscene to force us to start the quest. she says "oh, you're up early" - "yeah, i had a nightmare" - "aw that sucks. sorry to ask, but since you're up, would you mind helping me out a bit?" - we start a quest to go to fort pinta to pick up stuff for the camp, and to meet alex and james there. maybe lisa or linda is up early too and offers to join.
honestly i dont have energy to write anymore bc i dont get paid but you get the idea. alex (and james) get introduced here on day 2 during this errand quest to fp (which might Go Wrong in some way for drama, bc we need drama), maybe jasper can still be introduced here just being grumpy and starting some of the lore for justin, without fully stopping us from going. something else shady could happen with GED, kembell, a slight rewrite of the old intro, allowing linda or lisa or justin or maya to talk to us about GED as it happens (maya certainly has reason to). anne could be introduced later at the end of day 2, and here we could go into the campfire and lisa's singing and shit. (or you could build it up for another day, so we feel even more bonded with the charas first!)
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confessmau · 2 months
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I think its weird when people make Katelyn black in rewrites. I’ve thought this for a while, but I was afraid to say it 😭
I don’t think ppl understand the very strange, and essentially racist, implications of making a *white* character known for being aggressive & violent while also having anger issues… a black woman. Even worse when they make her a DARK SKIN black woman, considering how there’s already so many stereotypes surrounding how black woman are “aggressive” and “loud.” And then the other stereotypes of how dark skin women are MORE aggressive and angry than their white or lighter skinned counterparts. It just feels… insensitive, I guess? I’m black, and, while I don’t necessarily find it super offensive or anything, I still think it’s weird to make her of all the characters in the main cast black 😭😭 Am I crazy for saying it makes me kinda uncomfortable?????
I know that ppl are probably not doing it with racist intent (at least I hope not), but like… it’s still a little bizarre to knowingly make the angry/aggressive white woman black 😕 Like idk its always been so strange to me and I just didn’t say anything because I was afraid of ppl misunderstanding me & because there’s already like NO black characters in the cast (iirc Teony is the only black character in the whole cast? Which is beyond horrible), so I was always like “Well, ig I’ll take what I can get and I don’t think people are doing it with ill intent so…”
I guess I just kinda want people (non-black people in particular) to actually just THINK before making one of the characters black in their rewrites, because when they don’t they unintentionally make something that can be perceived as racist… does that make sense??? I’m sorry if it doesn’t, I’m not that good at putting my thoughts into words im sorry 😭😭😭
I’m sorry if this came off wrong but I’ve been in the fandom since 2016 and I’ve been feeling like this for YEARSSS . You do not know how good it feels to finally get this off my chest 😭😭
~~
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hardly-a-p3rson · 3 months
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sorry if i seem ignorant,, but do people not usually separate you all? maybe i have a different outlook on it than others, but i’ve always viewed each person in a system as separate people. please forgive me if this is insensitive at all,, im just trying to understand better i guess? i have friends who are systems and they’ve talked a little bit about this but it’s. baffling to me. is this common?
(also pls forgive that im on anon 🧍🏻‍♀️ i got shy)
hi no this is a good question
I cant speak for others but a big problem we've had is that no one has treated us as separate. my lot are always just add ons to me and as the host that fucks with me a lot. no one makes the effort to get to know my headmates and its only been recently that people are talking to them. you have a good view on systems I hope more people will be like you. this is just our experience and I'm sure others have the same but idk this is just what we've picked up on
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kittykittyanon · 11 months
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♡♡introooo!!! ---- (≧▽≦)//
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woah!! hii!! welcome to my blog!! whaaat!??!! (°ロ°) !
this was made cause i think aggressive anon and worm are really cool and i really liked the idea of making an anon blog, i think was the word?? (and i'm too nervous to just talk on my main),, so yay!! credits to them :DD
i'm really anxious and i'm scared of social interaction,, but with the shield of anon, i feel a little bit more confident now!! yippeee!!! (≧▽≦) (≧▽≦) !!!
pronouns are she/they,, and also BOO!! AGE REVEAL!! i'm 14 WOAHHH!!! GAHH!!!! Σ(°ロ°) Σ(°ロ°)
please please please tell me if anything i do or say upsets or hurts anyone,, it's kinda hard for me to tell tones and i don't wanna be mean or insensitive or anything,, so by all means,, call me out!!
uhhmm,, uhhh,,,, i like art and music and and aaaand turtles that are teenagers and mutants and who also, possibly, maybe live in the sewers (/j) feel free to talk to me about literally anythinggg!!╰(*´︶`*)╯
i think i'll just kinda,, sit here, i guess?? i'll use this to reblog stuffs and post random whatevers,, i will probably pop up somewhere and actually get the somewhat confidence to show my appreciation towards a couple people i've been following on my main that i was too nervous to talk to sooo yah!! im so sorry for making this so long, this took me a while to get the courage to post,, thank you for reading!!!
edit!! i changed my prns from she/her to she/they!! going to try it out for a little and see if it feels right (*´▽`*)!!
tags!!!;; #kittykitty interactions , #kittykitty reblogs , #kittykitty art , #kittykitty asks , #kittykitty rambles , #kittykitty yaps , #kittykitty treasures , #kittykitty hoards , #kittykitty writes
my amazing mooties' tags!!!!;; #rocky!! rocky!!! , #zeepie beepie!!! zeepie deepie!!!! , #big sib aggie!!! , #omg hi frankie!!! hiii!!!! , #woah!! chip is here!! hi chip!!!! // #chippy chip chipper chippzie!! , #the wormiest worm ever!!! , #finnie forevermore!!! finley!!! finn!!! , #woah!! its lykaios!! hii!! , #skrap-a-skrip!! ,, #the loveliest amor!!
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ben-wisehart · 1 year
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hi! do you ever feel like the bingqiu fandom is binghe biased? like a lot of the time its giving.. “wow binghe is our little precious bun who deserves the world and more! ..oh and stinky neet loser sqq is so blessed to have him lul” it feels unfair towards sqq :( it makes me sad hes no ones fave but thats okay like whatever right? but even when its bingqiu hes treated like an afterthought. like we have binghe fans criticising sqq for not doing more, sj fans are frankly delusional, sqh fans think hes “too mean” to their precious hamster, liushen fans only like him bc hes a good hole/dick for lqg (obligatory “not all men” lol) idk i only follow a handful of svsss twt accs because no one seems to like him, he feels either tolerated or treated as a gag character lol 🥹
i just dislike a lot of fanon bingqiu i think? i read all the books before hopping on twitter and i see some absolute rancid takes on there like the woobification of Shaun(tm) qinghua and jiumei.. which is easy enough to avoid tbf so whatever floats their boat idc. but when i follow bingqiu accs, it feels like OC x OC rather than ~bingqiu~ if that makes sense? like i LOVE the manipulative crybaby domtop x flustered thin face subby pillow princess they have going on!! and fanon bingqiu is just.. not it? and obv id never send hate or anything (i just block and keep it moving) but it makes it kinda sucky when the fandom is already teeny tiny and a large chunk of the fandom isnt what i envisioned/expected i guess which is so odd! when they essentially erase canon!! if it’s like some queerbaity ship or whatever, people can characterise them however they want but its like CANON how they act/are in bed/etc and its all taken away!!! idk im probably just whining sorry 😭
(i included all my thoughts here sorry for the spam!!)
hey, thanks for stopping by!! I definitely know what you mean with regards to SQQ, but I will assure you that there are very much still plenty of dedicated "sqq mains" out there. My sphere of influence on twitter is heavily biased toward people for whom sqq is their favourite character, so maybe I'm not getting a representative sample of the fandom overall, but he's definitely a very well loved character and has more than his fair share of people who do him justice in their writing and for whom he's their primary blorbo!! I remember posting this on reddit a while back and more than half of the responses (though admittedly a small sample size) had him as their fave. So, I don't think he's without appreciation!
But with that said, I do get where you’re coming from. I’m not gonna talk about readers who take his actions in bad faith and actively dislike him (HOW??), but as you’ve said, even among people who do like him, we don’t always understand him as well as we could. Most fans do get on some level that he’s an unreliable narrator, but it’s still very common for people to take him at face value and completely miss his depth. He’s a funny little guy with amusing narration, but he’s also kind and selfless, and he’s also smart and witty, and obnoxious and annoying, and frankly pretty insensitive, and deeply, deeply traumatised—and a million other things! He has layers.
I think all popular characters in fandom will inevitably start getting boiled down to a few key traits. And as somebody who’s been writing fic for 15 years, it’s really hard not to let your own biases colour your portrayal? I absolutely do it with SQQ!! I focus on his kinder, warmer aspects and downplay his flaws, I’ll readily admit that. We all get drawn to a favourite character for a certain trait, and that trait becomes the grit around which our interpretations form. If you’re somebody that likes silly characters, you’re going to write SQQ and dial his silliness up to eleven. If you like kind characters, you’ll write SQQ with emphasis on his kindness. None of these traits are OOC in and of themselves, but if you start to only read fanfic and don’t revisit the source material, you can get lost in what’s popular and forget all the depth that actually made them interesting in the first place. And once you’ve grown attached to a particular version of the characters in your head, it can be really hard to let go of it. I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but I'll add that I think protagonists are just particularly prone to this happening because they're usually the one the audience relates to most.
Idk if any of that really addresses the stuff you were talking about. You mentioned dom top Binghe/pillow princess sqq and to be honest I’m kind of reluctant to talk about this in depth because I’ve received negative comments in the past for supposedly being anti-bottom Binghe, when all I’ve ever said on this matter is that I think it’s a bit weird to insist that “I’m scared of hurting you so I might as well let you do it” is proof that Binghe is canonically a bottom. The fact that someone found that statement so threatening to their view of the characters that they would go to my ao3 page, click on the first fic they saw that happened to feature bottom SQQ and leave their holier-than-thou anonymous opinion there is just bizarre to me.
To be honest tho, it tends to be Binghe characterisation that puts me off moreso than Shen Qingqiu. The only SQQ characterisation that truly bothers me is when people write him as willing to hurt Binghe, or willing to do anything with underage Binghe, but there is a LOT of Binghe stuff that I’m sensitive too. Idk if you read this thread of mine but like, even my friends whom I love make “Binghe stalking/imprisoning/"atticwifing" SQQ” jokes and these bother me way more than any random stranger saying SQQ would get off on spanking Binghe.
And like, it’s kind of hard because objectively, Binghe is a very dark character, so it doesn't feel particularly OOC to say he would do those things, but it's about framing. It bothers me when the emphasis is on how fucked up he is and not how hard he's trying, because it implies a level of futility that I just don’t think is there in canon. To me the beauty of him is in how much doing right by SQQ doesn't come naturally to him, but he ultimately decides to do it anyway because he wants SQQ to be happy. (I feel it needs to be said that I don't mean this in a judgy "if you write dark Binghe you don't understand him and are a bad person" way. Just that I myself can't handle that, and I strongly disagree if you think it's where Bingqiu's relationship is headed).
but idk, I've found my corner and I'm very happy here. I actually don't read fic as often as you'd think, mostly because I am sooooo picky, so I totally get where you're coming from :) but the fandom is still decently sized and very diverse, so there are always going to be at least a few people who share your feelings, if you can find them!
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allamericansbitch · 15 hours
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i’m not trying to be a dick at all but, do you think you and anons might be judging some artists a little harshly? not speaking on palestine isnt great, but not everyone has entire control of their image. and some of the things you brought up seem insensitive at worst.
anyway i really don’t want to defend these rich people, and i don’t even care about anyone you brought up. i’m just saying, everyone makes mistakes. in this age where everyone’s flaws are broadcasted on the internet, i feel like it helps to remember these are just people. many of whom are young and live in a bubble & get paid to maintain a certain image. no one is truly unproblematic, they just know how to keep their mouth shut or have a great publicist.
omfg i genuinely didn’t say anything. i was asked YESTERDAY who was an unproblematic artist and i guess im an idiot for assuming it was an innocent question. i didn’t say certain artists that people wanted me to say. now for the past 24 hours ive been asked every 5 minutes what’s something problematic random artists did. I never said i was judging them or saying they should be called out or should be sent to the courts like i am simply answering why certain artists would be considered problematic because everyone is problematic to an extent. Can yall please stop just stop this fuck.
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wndaswife · 2 years
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jane banner 💪
characterization headcanons: jane banner
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character flaws
occasionally insensitive, impatient, acts before thinking and in spite of forewarning
childhood
she has always been stubborn, even as a child. one to be very close with her father and competitive with her siblings
cleaning habits
someone in my asks mentioned that jane seems like a stress cleaner, and i think that’s pretty accurate! one of her telltale signs of stress is also being very picky about her surroundings, projecting her distress into small details of the house and can very easily get overwhelmed by messes that seemingly won’t go away, may try and fix furniture or appliances and ends up leaving it more broken than it was before
cooking habits
cooks quick meals, so things she can bring to work or things she can easily prepare after coming home from long shifts. it changes once she begins seeing you, and she actively looks forward to coming home to cooked meals from you
coping mechanisms
she can neglect her emotional and mental state sometimes, and i believe that along with physical exercise, she takes up meditation and mindful breathing and other similar methods that allow her to just take a step back and relax. though she firstly resorts to methods that are fast-paced as the rest of her life like running or training
eating habits
because of her job, jane often eats just enough to ease any hunger. when you first begin dating her, you encourage her to eat more and telling her that eating healthy meals matters little when she doesn’t eat enough. she’s grown to really love having meals with you, sitting down and catching up and enjoying your home-cooked food, and has begun to see it as a very intimate time
enneagram personality type
3w4 maybe??? typing her is hard because i don’t think she was explored all that much in the movie, but i think her character struggling to find her place in the reserve and trying to make herself helpful through professional achievement while also trying to prove herself as useful kind of seems 3w4 to me, though im not entirely sure how she is outside of work
myer-briggs personality type
honestly this was probably harder than guessing her enneagram, but i think maybe she’s an INTJ. there was a lot of crossing out possibilities when i had to guess it, but an intj 3w4 is a highly goal-oriented person who can sometimes be a bit insensitive and stubborn, whose 4 wing can also explain jane’s struggle with her role as an outsider in the reserve. she might be driven by a fear of failure as she finds it reflects who she is as a person, which is why she kind of seems a bit slow to adjust to the opinions of the people of the reserve instead of just yielding and trying to figure out a better way to approach them
family
i think she’s close with her family! her mother calls her often to ask how she's doing and it's always a bit of a process to wave hello to all her cousins and siblings when she's put on a video call with them. they're probably the type of family who wears matching christmas sweaters, a holiday jane loves to visit them for as she lives a few hours away from them and can only see them a few times a year
guilty pleasures
she loves reality television and unwinds sometimes after work by catching up with the real housewives
hobbies
in her freetime, i see jane enjoying artistic things, maybe taking weekly classes irregularly for pottery. she likes photography and has a professional camera somewhere at home that she takes out with her when she’s able. she’s also a bit of a nerd when it comes to a specific movie or book series, maybe rereads or rewatches them during certain times of the year when she enjoys it best
insecurities
though it’s not something that’s always on her mind, it’s a bit of a looming fear in which she worries she may be incapable as an agent and can occasionally overwork herself to prove that she can carry her weight, though she isn’t very sure whose standards she’s trying to fulfill. conversely, jane also feels some insecurity in how much time she puts into her job, feeling that she isn’t giving herself enough time for her personal life. she's worried that if she spends too much time focusing on her job then there won’t be much of a personal life of hers to be concerned about
lazy day
lazy days are her days off during which she cleans her place from the busy days where she neglects to pick up after herself or leaves things a mess, does casual errands like grocery shopping, takes the time to make herself dinner rather than something she can just pop into the microwave like she normally does, and ends the day renting a movie with dinner and a beer
pets
has a fish she got because she thought her place felt empty and now feels strangely attached to it
regrets
at the end of missions, there are always things jane feels like she regrets a little bit — better ways she could’ve handled suspects, a more sensitive way to talk to families of victims, more care she could’ve put into things. but she actively tries not to let her regrets linger because she knows it’s part of the job. even so, she still carries a bit of each failure into her everyday life, hoping to learn from past mistakes
sleeping habits
she sometimes can sleep the moment her head hits the pillow because of how stressful her days are, but most times she can't sleep without thinking of the faces of victims or going over the details of cases. taking some melatonin and keeping her bedside light on helps her fall asleep usually
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changbinsboobs · 26 days
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so when changbin is on a vent or rant abt a topic or anything thats on his mind do u have to tell him to slow / calm down? he sounds very interesting like the type of person u can talk to anything about and hes not going to take offence or could he at opinions that differ from his own? either way he sounds interesting and I wonder if he is the type of member that doesnt go to other members when he has a problem or does have that one member that he can go too? bro should try journalling these thoughts down it might give him song inspiriation too.
No, i think thats the last thing i should do, as this is something i feel like he hears all the time and is something that actually triggers his defence mechanism and even if he doesn't show it i think it stings everytime he has to hear something if the sort that he's too much and has to make himself smaller and more digestible.
And tbh i don't feel the need to "tell" him that as i really enjoy "basking in his energy" and find literary EVERYTHING he has to say really interesting, and even if there's a lot, its actually pretty easy to digest, at least to me. I think we are pretty similar energetically and personality wise, as well as certain situations we had to face in our life's so my guess is that we naturally have a very compatiable energy and thus why i really identify with what he has to say and agree with it a lot, and even if i don't have experienced that thing personally and have as strong of an opinion as he, i can identify with his intensity and i feel like theres this "mutual understanding" (as said just energetically-wise) and because he sees that i agree and don't (energetically) reject him or his depth and intensity, thats why he keeps on sharing so much. I don't think he would if i wasn't as open. So to clarify (from him as well😅):
-He's not a blabbermouth. Don't get the wrong impression of him. He talks so much only if he gets the same energy from the other side too. He's not insensitive and never wants to be annoying.
And i don't think he takes offense at opinions that differ from his own but if he thinks differently than you hell let you know and he's one to enjoy a little friendly debate of who's right and who's wrong and why that is😂 if its something not as serious tho. If its an important matter he is someone to accept you and your opinion/decision. He might offer you his advice bit only if you want to have it, and if you do, he won't force it down you're throat.
I don't think he has a member that has the same depth as him. I've said that in other posts too tbh i don't think he has anyone with whom he feels safe enough to talk freely, and even if he does he doesn't feel understood. So there's no reason for him to share because if the person on the other side doesn't understand you, after the talk you'll left more empty and dissatisfied than you were before.
I think journaling's a great idea for him. I haven't done a reading on that bit im getting the feeling for a while that he's in his healing era and is starting to transform himself. Doing shadow work, setting boundaries, thinking about what he really wants, getting to know himself better etc. I wouldn't be surprised if he has went to a therapist a few times or bought a few self help books, tbh i even feel like he might've went to get a tarot (or some other kind) reading before. And is just generally in a search for himself and his truth and happiness which makes me very happy. He deserves it💗 and i wouldn't be surprised if he has already tried journaling, or may try it soon:) lets hope. I want my boy to be happy and healthy and fulfilled💗💗💗
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mejomonster · 8 months
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Okay so. My ability to focus is weak af recently. Regardless, gonna liveblog if I do manage to read ToT. I found Huai Dao Way of Evil on one of ur recommendations, as an older priest novel that kinda felt like the rough first try at the vibe Modu would nail later? (Also i have heard in reviews its uh best case cringe worst case insensitive at handling mental health issues which... modu handles so well and nuanced so, i mean i guess worst case at least things improved? But ive ran into enough (unfortunately) novels that handle the topic shittily that i hope im kind of hardened to it. Like i suspect sci mystery probably handles mental stuff suckily but im still gonna give it a shot one day for its other qualities, etc.) Anyway back to my point: huai dao may not be lets say up to spec of "wow one of my new top fave stories ever" like modu was. But hey! Still lets go on this journey! See how skills evolved, see what ideas were older and got cherished and improved ya know. (Also reasons id love to read Iterant Doctor and The Blue Seal by priest).
Also? Frankly. I love a good murder mystery. I read the first few pages. And already I can tell, at least writing style wise, ill like huai dao more than In The Dark (sorry ITD i just dont click as much style wise). Huai Dao doesnt open on a scary or mysterious scene to make me wonder whats going on: which Lie Huo Jiao Chou, Zhenhun, Modu, and Can Ci Pin all do fairly quickly (and its a good choice from my perspective lol as it gets me sucked in). But it does open with solid CHARACTERS. A couple pages in and i already have a much firmer Feel of the characters than 100 pages of In The Dark. I can tell the police girl has some vibes in common with Zhu Hong and Lang Qiao (but priest just loves a few certain Types in the investigator work groups), but she also distincrly doesnt have a Little Sister big mouth vibe of Lang Qiao and also doesnt have a cold judging but fond vibe like Zhu Hong, she feels distinct enough for me to get a sense of her as unique (something i think priest does well that... again ITD just did not really give me until maybe halfway thru book 1). The main chief boss seems a lot like ITD's chief, and Modu's. Except modu even early on had hints the chief had secrets, was a certain social class and tied to powerful city people. This chief, at least on opening pages, seems more close and friendly to his entire team and closer to their level.
And the main guy. Shen Yexi. On first impression, oh boy. I like him. Hes around my age, he got shot and just got cleared to come back to work. The setup is standard for many a mirder mystery and danmei crime novel (Poyun and In The Dark open similarly, its just a common setup). But immediately i can tell who he is on some level. He's friendly but not nearly in the way Zhao Yunlan is (not charismatic and big) and not in the show offy almost perfotmance Keep In Control way Luo Wenzhou is. He exudes a certain Serious nature (more like shen wei maybe? If anything) but also is sincere to people he considers somewhat close (like his team). Again, i deeply appreciate the way priest can immediately establish at least some specific sense of character quite quickly. Ive read bits of a few other novels lately that couldnt do that as fast, and for me unique characters i can really grasp goes a Long way into holding my attention.
Shen Yexi is about my age, as stubborn as me, probably too much of a workaholic and a touch too sincere about doing what hes intending to do (at least on first impression). And i can tell im gonna like him. As the 3rd case solving murders type priest story ive checked out (after zhenhun and modu), i was a bit worried the lead might feel like a less refined version of zhao yunlan or luo wenzhou or tao ran. Happy to say, so far, he does not. (Tao ran may be closest in temperment but... fei du and luo wenzhous point of views painted tao ran as so perfect and put on a pedestal of normal sweet noble Great that Shen Yexi just has NONE of tao rans vibe).
Anyway, expect more commentary at some point.
Btw I am reading The Way of Evil 坏道 on WOC Translations, the translation is complete:
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