#im definitely coping very well

[kentopedia]

when nanami dies, there's a box of letters waiting for you.

months pass before you find it. it's not until you're cleaning out his things, wondering if you can stand to get rid of them, that the letters are there waiting for you.

its no bigger than a shoebox, dark wood engraved with an intricate design, one that you're certain kento picked out specifically for you. you've never seen it before, and you open it with shaky hands, tears already pooling in your eyes at all the memories your lover left behind.

inside, there's a stack of letters, each one dated at the top with kento's name intricately signed at the end. some are in sealed envelopes with beautiful stamps. some multiple pages long and include some little haikus that are far too lovely to be about someone like you. and some are just quick little notes scribbled on napkins.

your spread them across the floor, staring down at each of the tiny little hearts he'd drawn next to your name on each note. even though you'd been together for years, you had no idea that he'd been writing all of them—hours of his life dedicated to this little pastime, and you'd been clueless.

they're like journal entires. insights into kento's life and your relationship, both the good moments and the tough ones. he leaves behind everything to you, entrusting you to keep his entire existence safe in your hands.

you read the letters with tears streaming down your face, and you choke on your sobs, trying so hard not to smear the ink from the wetness on your cheeks.

when you pull one out with shaky hands, you realize it's a decade old. the writing has faded a bit, and the paper is yellowing, but it's kento's handwriting, nonetheless.

it makes you near sick to read it. for a minute, you have to set it aside, cry into your knees as you curl into a ball, wondering when you'll ever stop feeling this empty.

this letter is from a sixteen year old kento; a quiet boy who had a silly little crush on girl in his year that was much too pretty for him. and in the letter, he says he knows you're too good for him, but he can't help but love you. he can't help but hope that one day, in a few years, you'll want to marry him as much as he wants to marry you.

it hurts, burns in your chest because even back then, kento had known you were the one. he'd known and he wrote you these letters because he'd felt that his life would be cut short. he'd felt like that since haibara died, and geto left, and it started to seem like the life of a sorcerer was always doomed to be an unhappy one.

kento had been so afraid that his friend died without knowing how much he meant to him, and he refused to make the same mistake with you.

there are letters from even when you weren't together. from the years that you were eighteen, nineteen, twenty, and kento had been so desperate to leave jujutsu behind that it meant he had to leave you too. even then, even when you were nothing more than a shadow from his past, he adored you.

you feel so outside of yourself, nauseous and filled with so much grief that you're not sure where to put it.

sometimes, you’d doubted if kento felt as loved by you as you did by him. but there's pages and pages of him speaking of how special you make him feel, even when you were separated, and he missed you so much that the thoughts of you consumed him.

you spend hours going through the letters, and then, you see one dated halloween, 2018. even breathing feels hard, but you can't stop yourself from reading it, even though you know it will destroy you, know that you won't be able to leave the house for days after reading it.

in the letter, kento says he loves you. he talks about the day before, when you'd convinced him to watch some halloween movies, and though most of them were silly, he didn't care how he spent his time with you as long as it made you smile.

he says that he feels bad for cancelling your dinner plans, and he's going to be thinking of you when he's in shibuya. that it's such a shame that being a sorcerer is so much more fulfilling than a salaryman, because it cuts into your time together, and you’re the most important part of his life.

he says he loves you again. that he really hopes he makes it back from shibuya because even though he's never told you, he wants a family with you.

he says he’s decided he'll bring it up when he gets home safe and sound. he’s not sure how you’ll feel about it, but you better know that he’ll always love you no matter what you decide, even if what he really wants is a little girl that looks just like you. and lastly, he hopes that you don't stay up too late waiting up for him—you’ve been so tired lately, and it’s making him feel bad.

his name is at the bottom with another little heart.

you let the letter fall from your hands.

[piplupod]

ignore this i just need to be insane for a second

[ceilidho]

Hi crazy Johnny with a single mam anon back because im insane and have brainrot and am seriously contemplating writing it bcus i feel compelled by the power of Christ (Johnny’s cock) to write something pervy and nasty and creepy but ultimately sweet but im also just braindumping and sharing bcus not enough johnny content floating around I fear so have to pull up my bootstraps and do it myself (this is so long ceil im so very sorry)

anyways so I think this is sooo much hotter if Johnny is either on a prolonged medical discharge or he’s been forced into retirement for one reason or another (because then can keep an eye on you lol) he and like this has been touched on before but he’s just got. nothing to fucking do. And holy hell he’s going crazy. He needs something to do. So his silly, terribly adjusted brain latches onto the poor single mam next door who DEFINITELY needs his help.

Im a sucker for forced codependency. You, who thinks you’re doing great on your own, versus ‘can’t handle this all on yer own, eh little lass?’ Johnny MacTavish. He’s SO fucking subtle about it. Commenting on how hard it must be to have to raise a baby all your own, and gods love you just look knackered here let me take the bairn for a bit. He comes round and makes little comments about your house being messy (disorganised, but not messy) and immediately starts ‘sympathising’ because you just mustn’t have time to clean up but it’s important to keep hazards out the way of the baby, here he’ll *help*.

Never questions your ability as a mother, god no, just slyly drops suggestions that you’re not coping as well as you thought. And it fucking NAGS at you. And eventually, you start going to Johnny more and more for help. I honestly think he would cause problems in your flat (fixable ones, like fucking up the electrics or messing around with the pipes but stuff he knows he can fix) so you either have to A. Move in with him temporarily or B. Have to ask him to fix them. Eventually just says that your landlords a cunt for letting you live in a shithole and insists you just move in with him permanently. You do (it’s not really up for debate).

He doesn’t use condoms. I’m sorry he just doesn’t, but he will TELL you that he does- especially the first time you have sex. You’re all worried because ‘oh god Johnny I’m not on birth control I just put it off after I had the baby and we didn’t use a condom-‘ and he’s immediately tucking you into his chest and stroking your hair and shushing you ‘divvint be daft lass, course i wrapped it up, stupid thing just broke. Did ye not realise? Must’ve been heat o’ the moment, don’t worry yer little heed about it alright? Johnny’s here.” and kisses you on your hair and lulls you into sleep. Adamantly denies whispering about how pretty you’re gonna look pregnant as if he’s trying to subliminal you into pregnancy. lol.

Will legally adopt your baby. Like he’ll suggest it, straight up. And you’re probably a bit taken aback because it’s only been six months but he is insistent. This is probably the catalyst for his ‘im the biological dad’ delusions. Once he’s down as the father he’s actually losing his mind a little. Can imagine Simon or Gaz popping round to check up on Johnny on their next leave and suddenly he has a family and they’re actually a little concerned because when Gaz makes a comment about the baby’s being cute Johnny’s like ‘Yeah we did a good job, didn’we lass?” and between the two of them there’s just silence because johnny this is not your baby but they can see that slightly deranged look in his eyes. Defo asks about all the heavy details of your pregnancy and labour and the first few months so he can pretend like he was actually there for it and will talk about it as if he were actually there (extra bonus points if Gaz actually pulls you aside in the kitchen and asks about Johnny’s behaviour and tells you to be careful LMAO).

So yeah anyways.

PLEASE WRITE THIS IM BEGGING YOU!!!!!! im screaming at that last bit i need this so bad please......i don't ask for much but i swear to god please write this for me. this idea was designed in a lab to inflict the maximum amount of psychic damage on me. please write this and i will happily beta/edit it for you if you need any help omg

[ravenbloodshot]

Pick a Card- Your True Personality

1

2-3

4

5

Instructions: Take a deep breath, and get rid of all thoughts. Then choose a number or decide by looking at the photo, I don't recommend choosing a pile based off your liking for the celeb in the photos, but do as your heart desires. Let's hope your heart steers you to the right pile

Pile 1:

This most definitely is the pile that attracts a lot of PAC veterans (aka ppl who follow a lot of PAC readers). I'm getting the vibe that you may seek a lot of validation from not only people in your life but from PAC's as well, you can get really offended by negative traits that come up in these types of readings and also likely hate all forms of criticism. You are the type to romanticize life and have an inflated ego, thinking of yourself as on a higher pedestal than others. You guys are above average in the looks department and tend to get what you want using your looks/charm. Your not going to have much trouble attracting a romantic partner, but you will have problems making them stay. You can become quite violent and hysterical when you don't get your way and that can turn your partners off. It's as if ppl will find you attractive but once they get to know you, think your batshit crazy and wish to get going asap. I'm definitely getting the vibe that you act high and mighty and like your the queen/king bee out of deep insecurities. Like a person that gets told their pretty/handsome so they go along with that but lowkey live life not 100% sure that's the case. Not calling you a bully but I do see some case of that, if your not a bully could be that you were a victim of bullying or bullied others in the past. Either way you have some aggressive, bullying ways about you.

You may not hold a healthy view of love, believing that it's your partners duty to love and care for you but you don't have to particularly do anything for them. It's the energy of a person who's married to someone completely unconditionally in love with them, while they're just there for the money/gifts. I do think you take good care of yourself (going to the gym, nails done, hair done, skin care on point, closet full of clothes your size and also smaller sizes that your working out to eventually fit into etc...). Your likely single and not happy about it, although you'll never truly admit it to yourself and neither would you to your friends.

This is the pile that has dealt with a lot of heartbreak and may have turned to a selfish but self conscious attitude to cope with it.

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Pile 2:

Ooooo, very passionate and powerful. Im seeing a duality with the feminine and masculine energy (remind me of Ryujin). You guys may be my favorite, I just get this warm tingly feeling and this random burst of energy (If I could meet with you irl, ik I would love you 💕❤ )

You are very elegant and sophisticated, giving rich girl vibes and if not rich you strive to be (and not in the way almost all ppl strive to be rich but I actually feel like you have set plans in place for yourself, your not fucking around when it comes to you getting what you want). I'm getting this real sense of knowing who you are and what you want so your quite easy to understand, you may speak bluntly and get to the point. The femininity I mentioned before shows itself in how you care for others, you protect your loved ones and you won't hesitate to stand up for those weaker than you or just in a worse off position. It's like yeah you know your Queen bee but you don't think your above others in and of itself , you just know your above certain ideas/actions of others (I mentioned this queen bee energy for pile 1, but they seemed more 'fake it till you make it' types while you seem more relaxed and confident in your own crown and still willing to fix other's crowns). Now for the masculine energy. I keep hearing the saying "I rule with a iron fist", so you guys may be quite stubborn and set in your ways. I'm also seeing a bit of a temper, you guys give such Taurus vibes, but it takes a while for it to really show its head. I don't think you blow up for every little thing but once your temper ignites, there's no putting out the flames until the fire runs its course (I'm seeing Canadian fires, how terrible and drawn out they were, it's the same as your temper).You do hold this view of "I deserve.....", which can help you to have the confidence to go after who/what you want but when your entitlement is extreme/irrational, you can come off as just a pushy asshole.

You definitely have this healing vibe to you along with this innocent love of animals, plushies, kids and all things cute and cuddly. You may talk to your pets (if you don't own a pet, you should, they will bring you a deep sense of peace/happiness). You love to feel like you've fixed people and things, you can become obsessed with helping ppl get out of their troubles and try to tend to their mental/physical health. One thing I will say is I think your the type to love the chase in relationships (you may become obsessed with being with a person who doesn't want you).

Last thing is , you can be quite the chaos bringer. I'm seeing some type of trolling on social media, if not trolling, you could just be quite aggressive with how you write on social media. I'm seeing a lot of hidden actions and secret accounts 😏

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Pile 3:

This pile has the energy of air signs. Your the type to overanalyze and over think everything. Even when it comes to things that you say, you may think about your words quite carefully before you say them. You may be an empath or bc you analyze ppl so intensely, you can pick up on others emotions/intentions and change the way you speak to fit others state of being (for an example: if a friend was in a depressive state and quite down and out, you would know better than to try to joke around, you would communicate with more kindness in your tone and try to be understanding). You can be quite humble and the humanitarian, wishing to do good for others/society (you have the energy of a therapist).

Your sarcastic and witty, quick with the comebacks and yk how to roast ppl (lol). You could have been a victim of bullying or just grew up in a tough environment and later you learned to stick up for yourself by using your words (insulting your bullies, roasting them etc...). Your words are very powerful, likely magical. Your the type to speak things into existence, so if I were you, I would be careful with what I say (which i think you do anyways, I'm just putting this out to warn you). I do see you can be quite vengeful and you have a mindset of "I'll get them before they get me". This makes you very defensive and hostile at times. Not just that but you have some jealousy issues.

You could be dealing with a break up and your heart is not open to love rn. I do think you do try to stay in a positive mindset but you could end up hiding your pain behind your laughs and smiles. Not really the type of person to deal with your emotional pain head on. You don't like to stay in one place for too long, preferring to move/travel often.

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Pile 4:

You are very much in your power and know your worth. You could be after an unconventional career that many have told you that it could never come to be but you do as you wish not as your told. I'm seeing that your quite an attractive and sexy person, very well shaped body as well (could be quite curvaceous or your obsessed with having curves) but either way you look good. You command a lot of respect and admiration from others. A lot of ppl wish to be you, look like you, or have you. Your very talented in some kind of musical sense, your likely gifted at singing (or your voice is quite enchanting). You express yourself well, a lot of ppl feel compelled by you and the way you speak (you could live in a country where your accent is different from most). You definitely have the power and the influence to get what you want, it's giving 7 rings by Ariana Grande, " I see it, I like, I want it, I got it" 💅.

I do think you could be too attached to your looks though, it's like you believe if you gain too much weight or you don't keep/get the curves you desire, Noone would find you attractive. I also see some idolizing of others bodies as well (keep off of social media as much as possible, its okay to post yourself but try not to scroll mindlessly. That fake social media shit gets to you and messes with your spirit). You may have been on your own since a young age, having to learn how to navigate the world and its evils/goods on your own. Your very independent due to this and also street smart.

Your in a stage of your life where you may be sleeping around a lot, playing seductive games, being flirtatious and plainly dating. Your likely viewing love as a game rn, and not taking anyone too serious. (If you are wanting to be more serious with love and attract a committed partner, refrain from sex when you date, your an enticing person so your partner will drive themself crazy trying to please and be with you). Most of you in this pile are just having/looking for fun though so that only pertains to a few of you.

Unfortunately, you may be the type to get into a lot of relationships in which your partner cheats or turns out to be pyscho. This may be the reason why I don't think you believe in 'true + unconditional love' (could be parental issues, childhood trauma as well). Your romantic relationships will be the thing in this lifetime that bring you the most headaches and loneliness

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Pile 5:

I got a vibe that this pile will attract a lot of fans of Niki instead of ppl who actually feels this pile will resonate to them, so those who picked this pile.

Turn around

Inhale

Exhale

Pick a pile

Welcome.

Okay. I feel like your quite young, probably in highschool or college. You've been through a lot in your life, in which at times you've felt abandoned or ostracized. But I think those experiences have made a stronger, more resilient you. You don't play a victim in life (even if you once were) and you don't encourage others in your life to hold onto victim hood as well. You know that you have to persevere through obstacles, not stay stuck in a pity party. You do have some codependency issues, you can be too clingy and hold onto others too tight. You fear others would leave you. You fear disappointing the ones you love. (I feel like you were "the nail that stuck out and was promptly hammered in"). So I think you may have anxiety about standing out too much or appearing too different from others. You have problems with understanding and respecting others boundaries (I just keep seeing an image of you holding onto a person, with strong grip, as they struggle to push you off). Instead of making ppl feel free and relaxed around you, you could make them feel uncomfortable.

Your a very book smart person. You have a fascination with unique things that most ppl would never think about and you come up with the most creative ideas. I think your more of a hoarder of knowledge and that you feel uncomfortable sharing your ideas with others, likely afraid they would laugh at you or say the idea is worthless. I feel like your not entirely moving forward with your life, your still haunted by your past. You could even recall voices of those who've insulted you or said very discouraging things to you and that can cause you to hesitate a lot in life.

I think this the ppl in this pile may be more sensitive and I want to make sure you don't feel hated or like I'm just another person confirming your own worst thoughts. I'm here to tell you to MOVE FORWARD in your life, don't let the haters win, don't hide yourself away. Prosper like the beautiful flower you are and always will be. 🌻

[biibini]

Hii!! After mizu graduates college, what type of job do you think she'd have? Would it have to do with sports or maybe something way different? (I absolutely love your writing and headcanons !! 🩷🩷)

modern!mizu post-college life headcanons

tags: post-grad life, engineering mizu, stable work life, a woman in stem, moving in with reader, basketball with mizu, mizu join fencing club, peaceful post-grad life (the dream)

a/n: ngl the thought of post-college life is tripping me out,,, im a junior in college rn and the thought of it just kinda doesnt?? exist?? also ive heard too much info from my friends' rants ab their engineering degrees and switching majors from mechanic to electrical back to mechanical engineering,, theyre fucking nuts

modern!mizu would prob be in the engineering sector of jobs

wooo stem baby (i am a digital marketing major i should not be talking)

bc hello?? money???

also let’s use that mechanical engineering degree to good use

she didn’t leave home for nothing

with her technical skills from eiji

modern!mizu would probably be a CAD engineer

CAD aka computer aided design

technically speaking, it would allow her to work from home or hybrid

and she can easily transfer her mechanical and on-hand knowledge to a digital format

like she’s smart yall

she just got some troubles w procrastination

but dont we all?

(coping so hard)

this job would also allow her free time and flexible hours to do her job

and i feel like modern!mizu opts for a good work-life balance

if she wishes, she can take the day off snd just go out with u or go to the gym

the freedom of choice while staying comfortable at home?

sign her tf up

she can have her tea time, gym time, spending time w u time, and her self care time

the self care in question: enjoying the silence

and realistically, its a well paying job thatll keep her and u afloat while helping eiji financially if need be

modern!mizu hopes her work and smarts can help her provide for others and herself

its ab time she doesnt let herself depend on a man for money

yeah thats a fuck u to u, m*k*o

shes made the mistake once

shes not gonna make it again

just bc postgrad modern!mizu isnt in sports doesnt mean she’ll stop playing

she needs to get her exercise and movement some way some form

basketball with taigen

and always aim for the three-pointers

and is successful most of the time

and then proceed to aim for the half court shots

and fail most times

fencing with eiji whenever shes back home

she’ll def try to teach u

and its fun at first but

she wants to stretch her wings out

modern!mizu would prob join a fencing club

it would be a great for her to fully practice and spar

not just against her old man

or go soft w u

but also go against ppl her age

modern!mizu would move into a place w u

nothing grand but a small apartment where u could refresh and build the place to be ur own

ringo is a good friend

a true best friend she could trust

but it was time to move in w u

and not be wary of ringo hearing u when he comes home

modern!mizu would be more adventurous in hobbies

yeah she has basketball and fencing and her tea collection

but now she has a stable job

no need to worry about grades

and just to live life one step at a time

she would probably try out pottery with u

definitely practice her cooking with ringo's and ur help

all in all, a very patient life

(she deserves it)

[hundrkottr]

🌿 Trauma Based Identities 🌿

There are a number of causes for our non-human identities. The most common being spiritual, but also imprinting. So now, what is a trauma based identity? And how could it cause one to have a psychological theriotype?

A trauma based identity is basically an identity that was formed because of, or in relation to, trauma. Especially during childhood/adolescence. At a young age, we are still very much developing mentally and emotionally. Our minds are going through so many changes, and our environment has an incredibly big impact on that. Early life trauma is part of that environment, and therefore, can literally make changes to your beain chemistry and how it develops. So how does this have to do with therianthropy?

Well, if a child experiences trauma or abuse, their minds may unconsciously seek some kind of coping mechanism. And this coping mechanism CAN cause them to develop a non-human identity. Especially if they feel detached from other humans who are the source of said trauma. Often time, the animal they may imprint on will be in their environment. Perhaps a pet, or a wild animal they see on a regular basis. It can be an animal or being they've been exposed to through media, like; movies, tv shows, books, games, etc. It can also even be a toy they have of said animal. Regardless, the trauma can make such a development occur.

//Imprinting can also be in relation to the trauma based identity. As a child experiencing abuse and neglect may imprint on the animal around them, rather than the humans that cause them harm, or hurt them.//

Some may argue that "this isn't a theriotype, its a coping link!". But you are wrong. The definition of therianthropy, is to identify as an animal, or have an involuntary non-human identity. A copinglink is a CHOSEN identity you chose to CONSCIOUSLY cope. If the trauma based identity is NOT chosen, and develops without voluntarily chosing so, it IS a VALID therianthropic identity.

I think it's important for people to be aware that such identities exist and are incredibly valid. They can be tough, but it is part of our development.

🌿 My Trauma-based Identity 🌿

Ever since I was a baby I've gotten a lot of traumatic experiences. I was consistently abused and neglected. I won't go into detail, but it was really hard. And I deal heavily with the affects today.

I never felt loved, or safe. But we did have cats in our household all the time. And I learned love from them. The cats never hurt me, never scared me, never screamed at me. All they did was show me love. They made me feel seen. So, as a toddler, I imprinted heavily on them. I ate their food, bathed like them, crawled around like them, meowed, and even used the litter box on several occasions (i know it sounds extreme but as embarrassing as it is, i did..)

My parents regularly punished me for acting like a cat, but I never stopped. And I continued seeing them as my true family.

I imprinted on them and it became a permanent mental development that would follow me through all of my childhood, my adolescence and early adulthood.

Thinking of why this identity developed makes me sad. But it also makes me grateful, because i dont thing the young, autistic and traumatized lil child I was would have made it otherwise.

I go through periods of questioning and denial. Because this identity makes me feel a lot of repressed emotions. But maybe this time i can accept it again. Ill do it at my own pace though. ♡

Thats all! Hope this helps others with trauma based identities. Know that you are valid. And you are seen. If ever you need to talk about it, im here. My DMs are open. I may not be online all the time, but Ill respond.

[comradekatara]

Any fun Aang facts/ headcanons/ thoughts?

i don’t know if this is exactly fun but i think a lot about aang coping the first couple years after the end of the war. like i think on a spectrum of “the war is over and im so happy!!” to “suddenly thrust into a leadership position that is uniquely isolating and horrible,” aang perhaps isn’t struggling as much as the new firelord, but it’s a close thing.

i think katara would be the one who is happiest out of all of the gaang, since the war being over relieves this huge weight off her shoulders and she also gets to do the fulfilling work of rebuilding her tribe and finally being able to live up the potential she’s always imagined for herself, being able to preserve and pass on her heritage to a hopeful new generation. (that isn’t to say that she isn’t traveling the world with aang, trying to mitigate the damage caused by the war, but she would go back home as soon as possible. she needs to see gran gran!!!) there’s a sense of pride and satisfaction and joy to her role in this world that cannot be denied. 

suki is in a similar position, where as the leader of the kyoshi warriors, her reunion with her sisters and their return to kyoshi island would be triumphant and joyous, and she gets to participate in the process of teaching a new generation of warriors, passing on her traditions and using her skillset to help people elsewhere. but then there’s also the lingering, nagging memory of being alone in a maximum security prison, and that trauma isn’t something one just gets over… 

i see toph, more than anyone, spending the most time with zuko in the fire nation. she understands what it’s like to be alone, and she’d rather be with her family than her biological parents. i think she does visit them, but it doesn’t go well. toph may be incredibly sharp and mature for her age, but she is still just a kid, and the fact that her father will continue to reject her his entire life is a great wound, as much as she could flippantly deny it. but zuko understands what that’s like more than anyone, so being able to help him helps her through her own pain. even if zuko is a dick about it (although i think she stubbornly forces him to acknowledge her pain at some point instead of just outright dismissing her like he did on ember island), it’s a symbiotic relationship in its own way. i mean, he could definitely use a human lie detector. 

sokka is like all over the place. i don’t know man he’s too complicated to sum up in one little paragraph. but yeah let’s just say the war ending doesn’t automatically Heal him and Solve his copious Issues. because it does solve some things but it also causes other problems. new problems even. but i already sort of talk about that here so let’s just move that for now. 

and then of course zuko being crowned boy king of racist nation is like… not great. it works for thematic/symbolic/narrative reasons, of course, but realistically. it's a struggle! so, like i said, i think toph would stick by his side, and i think aang spends a lot of time in fire nation as well, and sokka as much as possible (NOT because he loves zuko, but because he thinks zuko is very stupid and he’s the world’s biggest control freak so if he doesn’t micromanage everything he’ll feel like it’s his fault if anything goes wrong). but iroh is…. not there. his best friend katara (i said what i said) is in the south pole or traveling the world or anywhere but Here. azula is. broken?? the world?? is broken?? and he (famously a fuck-up) is supposed to fix it???? poor kid. 

anyway. this is all preamble to contextualize what can only be described as The Worst Puberty Anyone’s Ever Had. okay here’s a bonus fun headcanon: aang is born in october! i say this because he’s the most libra to ever do it (i don’t know shit about astrology but i do know that). so for the entire run of the show (from winter to summer) he is twelve years old. i don’t know if you’ve been around any twelve year old boys recently (not to brag, but i have), but they are Going Through It. and that’s the average twelve year old, not even including the shocking temporal displacement and being the sole survivor of a genocide and shouldering the burden of the whole fucking world and knowing that an entire country full of people want you dead. 

the fact that aang maintains his childlike wonder and sweetness for the most part means that it’s going to hit him like a truck once the war ends and he finally has a chance to focus on himself. we see the early stages of puberty affecting him in terms of how he behaves around katara, the change between his book one kiddie crush and his book three confusion and intensity. but it’s more than just burgeoning sexuality. he wakes up, is informed that he’s been stuck in an iceberg for a century, that everyone he ever knew with the exception of appa and bumi are dead due to a genocide, and that it’s his responsibility to end the war. and the rest of the show is him trying to step into that duty and finally becoming the kind of person the world needs him to be. and now… it’s over.  

on one hand, there’s that overwhelming sense of relief. he did it. he successfully prevented yet another genocide, stopped the war, and did it all without compromising his values. his new friends (his new family) are all alive and safe and now can rebuild the world together. they can rest and have fun and be kids. and that’s what aang is celebrating in the finale when he looks at all of them and smiles, when he hugs katara in acknowledgement of how far they’ve come. aang is incredibly strong and resilient, and it’s a strength that comes from a place of genuine love and understanding. he was taught good values as a kid, values that have guided him through the most unimaginable of tragedies. but he’s not perfect. no one is. 

no one can prevent the oncoming swirl of hormones and trauma and second-guessing that is about to hit aang once it finally occurs to him that the purpose he has been fighting for ever since his entire life changed is now over, basically, and he has to figure out what it means to be alive outside of one sole, defining goal. as anne carson said in red doc>, “to live past the end of your myth is a perilous thing.” as jp sartre said in la nausée, “i outlive myself” (specifically, anny says it to roquentin). what is aang doing if not ouliving himself? had he lived a normal lifespan that hadn’t been disrupted by a spiritually imposed stasis, he probably would’ve been dead by now (long dead, if we can assume that his death in lok is by natural causes). and his myth, his grand destiny of stopping the war and once more carving out a space for his people in this brave new world? well, he did it. accomplished it with flying colors. now it’s over. now he is a perilous thing. 

as i alluded to before, i think the only person who can really truly empathize with aang’s situation is sokka. sokka, too, has survived beyond any point he imagined. he has built his entire identity around being a shield, and now that the war is over, his ability to protect others from immediate threats and sacrifice himself for a cause has been ripped away from him. he now has to forge an identity beyond reducing himself to a soldier, in a fundamentally unfamiliar world. sokka was shaped by war, and yet he lived past it, past the end of his myth. aang’s world is now also unfamiliar, not solely because the war is over, but because the war is over and yet he is still alone. he did it, he saved the day, and yet what is his reward? he saved a lot of people, but none of his people. he can never go home again. 

aang and sokka’s role as foils is something i want to write about more because i do find it truly fascinating, but in these terms i think we can also read their psychological states postwar as a sort of reciprocal dynamic. i’ve spoken in the past about how in a postwar reconstruction landscape, sokka would do a lot of the administrative work that aang cannot. not only because aang is literally twelve, but because aang cannot focus all his attention on this world when he is also its only real tether to the past. so sokka would make room for aang to focus on being the last airbender by sort of taking on the mantle of pseudo-avatar. solely in the most bureaucratic sense of the title, of course, but that would be the role that sustains and (somewhat) fulfills him after the war. and i think aang would be grateful for that, but he’d also be somewhat resentful?? not of sokka (aang is too emotionally mature for that, plus he respects sokka too much), but he’d definitely resent himself. think about how guilty and shameful he feels whenever he feels like he’s let the world down due to factors beyond his control. and so the fact that sokka is doing so much of what aang himself should be doing because he’s too busy being defined by his status as a genocide survivor… well, it might make him angry. he might lash out. and we’ve seen him frustrated, volatile, and emotionally confused. it’s not pretty. 

i know that we all only want the best for aang and want him to be happy and thriving after the war because he’s such a perfect kid who deserves the world, but realistically, i do think there would be a period where he’s kind of hard to be around. not only because that’s just something that happens to all adorable baby boys once they turn thirteen (i, for one, learned this lesson extremely painfully), but because he’s dealing with a lot and the only person who even remotely understands what he’s going through is also the most emotionally repressed guy he knows. 

throughout atla, he never allows himself a moment to just stop and feel, because the depth of his grief is actually scary and incredibly difficult to confront. but i think if he did ever allow himself to feel, he might never stop. he might, in fact, spend a month or so curled up in blankets in bed eating nothing but bean curd puffs and shutting out everyone but momo. i actually think that’s more realistic than him immediately entering a perfect relationship with katara and being highschool sweethearts and popping out three kids. and frankly, i think going through that kind of depression now that he no longer has any pressing responsibilities also happens to be something he’s earned. he’s been pushing down his grief, ignoring it, distracting himself from it, this whole time. it’s time he finally lets himself feel. 

on a happier note, i like thinking about aang and suki getting closer after the war (or even being close offscreen during the show, like on ember island). i like to think that suki can act as a sort of cool big sister figure to aang, who has suffered just enough that she can empathize with his pain, but isn’t too close to the situation (like fellow genocide survivors katara and sokka, or genocide perperators’ direct descendants, like zuko) that she can still discuss it with him without bringing her own baggage into the fore. she’s very good at giving direct, no-bullshit advice in a nonetheless kind and compassionate way, and she’s also very good at joking around and knowing how to let loose and have fun in a way aang appreciates. she also really admires and highly values the role of the avatar in the world, and she also admires and cherishes aang as a person, so i think she could give him that kind of measured encouragement that aang really needs to hear. 

obviously katara has done this for aang a lot in the past, and i’m not saying she wouldn’t also continue to be a shoulder for aang to lean on, because no matter how much he may try to push her away, she will always be there for him, but i think suki also sort of provides a necessary detachment where he isn’t bogged down by any romantic feelings for her and she isn’t bogged down by her own all too similar trauma the way katara is. suki has people to help her work through her own trauma (sokka, her sisters, etc.) so aang doesn’t need to reciprocate. she’s just happy to be there for her surrogate baby bro who needs her. she’ll serve the avatar in any way she can, whether by becoming a kyoshi warrior, by sacrificing herself to free his bison, or by just chilling with him in bed while he rants about his impossible situation and cries on her shoulder.

[b1rdeyes]

THE SEASON 4 FINALE OUGHH PSYCHIC DAMAGE

this is the one woman house “accepts” and wilson acknowledges that it might be what breaks their usual cycle: wilson gets wife, eventually resents wife when they aren’t “needy” anymore, divorces wife, crashes at house’s, and cries on his shoulder while house acts dismissive rinse and repeat. wilson now has a partner that works with him (and is a “female proxy” of house but that’s a whole other conversation lol) and house isn’t constantly wrecking havoc on them. as bonnie puts it, he isn’t necessarily what causes the breakups, but he certainly doesn’t help. now it’s different and there is a real chance at their lives changing, maybe even for the better. mutual respect that was never present now is and while house definitely does nip at their ankles, house and amber totally agree on what wilson needs (the whole bed debacle amber and house had the same view on it). wilson could be free from their weird, co-dependant, and possessive relationship, but still have a relationship⁉️

THEN AMBER FUCKING DIES. Their one chance at again, breaking their destructive cycle, is gone. NOT ONLY THAT THOUGH. What gets me is that if amber hated him she wouldn’t have picked him up. The reason amber dies is because they chose to act differently. If amber had been like the others, she would lived because she’d never have picked up house. if she had been like the others though, then well… she’d have left wilson’s life eventually just like the others. house’s “im so sorry” works not only him genuinely expressing sympathy (which was VERY fun to watch btw) but also for everything that led to it. if he hadn’t made his little truce, if he wasn’t drinking alone because of his destructive coping mechanisms, if he hadn’t had amber as a fellow in the first place, literally if he hadn’t been who he was, amber could have lived.

EDIT: Also, amber herself saying “I shouldn’t have gotten on that bus” hurts more too cause it’s like yeah that would have saved her, but as i said earlier not finding house would’ve made her like the other wives. There was literally no way to avoid it. sorry amber but you had to get in that bus 😟.

so now what..? the cycle is definitely altered, as house now has a direct part to play in amber’s death (also just the fact that it’s a death), but it still continues. as upset as wilson will be with house, that really doesn’t change the fact that house is all he has, once again…

[petite-gloom]

i just wanted to pop in to thank you. you're such a good source of second hand joy because of how you experience stuff so passionately. sometimes i feel really down but then your videos pop up on my homepage and i see how *happy* you are when you work in your books or talk about pens or your interests or when you show off gloomy stuff. and it's reassuring. it helps me remember that i, too, can find joy in the mundane things i do

thank you. please have a lovely sunday xx

ahh anon i don’t know how to explain adequately what this means to me, but it really means a lot. usually behind the scenes im not coping very well with anything, but i work really really hard to try and acknowledge small (and big) good things nonetheless. it’s harder some days than others, so im very grateful to know that my enthusiasm for my interests and the joy i find is also a source of joy for you. thank u for taking the time to tell me

you can definitely find joy in the mundane and i hope u do. i hope december is very kind to u

[ghostbite0]

I feel like regression content is always treated so poorly. Especially when it comes to traumatized characters in a popular fandom. I'm really happy you make what you like and don't let anyone knock you down.

I deal with a lot of bs, and so I find a lot of comfort in drawing children. Both just for the simple joys felt in youth as well as a case study of the "what went wrong".

Your content is very wholesome and definitely falls into the first category for me. And honestly, I too, get really bad baby fever 😭 So I sometimes just like seeing my favs as kids or just drawing kids. They're so damn cute and I want them to be happy.

I hope no one gives you too much trouble. Keep doing what you're doing. Especially since you enjoy it.

oh goodness waking up to this in my inbox truly made my week! sorry for the late response, my internet was out all day D:

i wasn't always able to make the content i like; in fact, when i first began drawing de-aged/regression content, i used an alt to hide my identity because i was so scared of how people would respond to it-- since, to ur point, regression content is always treated horribly and there's a stigma around it (like how ppl looooove to sexualize agere stuff. exploding them with my mind). but i think its really endearing and healing! even now posting is really scary sometimes... it took me about a week to gain the confidence to post the tiny 21 trio art x-x so im really glad the feedback thus far has been positive!!!

i love drawing characters, particularly the ones with more trauma, as little kids-- they get a second chance at childhood and get to cope with the horrors^tm, and it's always a lot of fun to think about how their close ones would react and how they would take care of them and stuff... I've worked with children in the past, and im hoping to be an educator in the future, and it just makes me really happy when //they're// happy.

im so glad you think my work is wholesome and it provides some joy :( drawing is how i cope with the horrors^tm and I've found drawing happy sweet little things with my favorite characters really healing vs constant angst stuff. provides that comfort i don't really get anywhere else, and so i always really appreciate messages and comments like these

im also a really huge fan of your work and its always such a joy to see you post, so seeing you pop up to convey your support genuinely means the whole wide world to me :( thank you so so so much!

[fatuismooches]

HIII SMOOCHES! I’m going on a dottore brainrot rampage and I’ve been craving zandy content like I just want to pinch his cheeks and protect him at all costs! BUT imagine if like, the segments pissed off reader one day because they’re so busy that they kind of stopped paying attention to them, so reader decides that instead of spending time with them they will instead spend time with zandy 🥺.

AND LIKE imagine if (in revenge) they just bake cupcakes and keep them all to themselves knowing that the segments have like this sweet tooth but they won’t get any cupcakes! 🧁Like imagine if Zandy tries to remake Webttores mask using white and black frosting on a cupcake but it just.. looks bad😭 I can just imagine how cute I’d be! Like one cupcake has too much blue frosting and sprinkles so it’s very sugary while one barely has anything because the frosting was finished. One cupcake has tiny eggshells in it because zandy didn’t crack the egg correctly 😭So like- while the segments are busy with their lab stuff there’s just reader and zandy making treats behind everyone s back.

IMAGINE IF A SEGMENT WALKED IN ON THEM ABD JUST STARED LIKE:😦 because they thought Zandy was busy studying or something and taht reader was possibly in one of the labs BUT instead they just see the kitchen being an absolute mess, flour everywhere, a bunch of dishes are also dirty😶 and they’re possibly wondering where did the sprinkles come from because they were sure they didn’t buy any sprinkle NOR FROSTING- what would the segments reaction be? Would they get jealous or let it slide because Zandy is a kid and stuff

Im sure you did something close but I’m missing Zandy content and I’m also craving cupcakes- I’m pretty sure I saw a post related to baking and stuff so I got inspired Sorry if there are any mistakes because my English is not very good😓 by the way can I be 🪭anon, pretty please ?

(x) With how many lovers you have, you'd think that you'd never be left wanting for attention... however, much to your dismay, that is incorrect. Even you, their darling, can be pushed aside for their experiments/research/work. And look, you're a pretty patient person, you understand they can't always pay attention to you, and you understand that. You've endured a lot of their Dottore-ness, and can cope pretty well, but this is far too much! When was the last time you were showered in their attention and kisses! Well, if that's how they want to be, then so be it! You'll deny them of your affection too! And instead spend it with someone who actually appreciates you, little Zandy of course! Doing what, you ask? Baking, of course! Making his favorite treats for being such a bb!

Although Zandy is sad watching you be sad that the other segments are neglecting you, at the same time he's happy because you're paying so much attention to him! The other segments always try to barge in and steal your attention... it's not fair... but not today! ZANDY TRYING BUT FAILING TO DESIGN THE CUPCAKES AS THE SEGMENTS IS TOO CUTE. After the first botched cupcake, you just laugh and then put your hands over Zandy's much tinier ones, directing and guiding him to frosting the cupcake properly. You definitely make more with the other masks, his earrings, the other Harbingers, etc!

The segments found you because of how much you two were giggling and having a grand old time without them... And to answer your question, it doesn't matter who or what is hogging your attention... if it's stolen for too long, they will get grouchy and annoyed... but the catch is that they can't get mad at Zandy because you will raise hell if anything mean was said to your precious baby. So they have to settle for pointed glares at you two instead as you hog all the cupcakes. Needless to say, they've learned their lesson.

[kiruyeen]

listen if you go into g3 thinking it will be just like more episodes of g1 youre gonna be very disappointed. like yeah if I had to choose between them Id choose g1 as it cant be beat, but g3 has its own unique charm and is really good if you accept that the g3 cast isnt gonna be a carbon copy of the g1 cast. they arent meant to be! theyre new takes on their character, by definition, a new generation. yes I still have criticisms for it but also it did a lot of stuff better!

first off, a trans character IN a queer relationship. Ive always related to frankie but gen 3 especially does them so well and no matter what you say them and cleo's relationship is adorable. also I see a lot of you treat them like just a girl who uses they/them pronouns (or ignore that theyre non-binary at all) just because they dress femininely, and I am judging you. their relationship is trixic, not sapphic, and frankie is unlabeled and cleo is bi so theyre not lesbians either. frankie is not your theythem girl or theyfab or whatever. grow up. deuce is also theorized to be trans or intersex and is also canonically aromantic and I fucking love that as well. "b-but my nostalgia abt cleo and deuce" Im still nostalgic about them too and it was nice seeing the "mean girl" and her boyfriend have a healthy relationship but again this is a different take on their character, and I can happily say I could see their g1 versions identify this way as well if mattel wasnt such a coward back then.

next, lagoona. Ill be honest I was one of the biggest haters of g3 lagoona at first, pink skin, vsco girl ass fashion, "this aint my lagoona, she's way less edgier than the others AND g1" Id say, but she really grew on me, and as someone who frequently rewatches g1 as well, I notice she is a LOT more well developed than her g1 counterpart. g3 is fierce and is afraid of no longer being seen as such due to also having "cutesy" interests, and loves graphic novels and sometimes sees them as more true than real life. she also has anxiety and copes with them in an unappealing fashion (chewing). she makes up for her lack of edgy looks with her edgy personality. meanwhile g1 is just.... aussie and loves her boyfriend. g3 is still very sporty and cares for her friends (and crush) a lot, but now has personality past that, she can even find fault in her crush while still loving him, while g1 lagoona just saw gill as the perfect incarnate. g3 just overall, has more fleshed out monsters than g1.

more about deuce, I see a lot of people headcanon him as trans and I love that, but I personally believe he may be intersex. "but both of his parents and his sisters are female, there is no y chromosome in their heritage so how could he develop a y chromosome or testosterone" you may ask, but worry not for I have a biology special interest and am more than willing to explain! deuce's parents are a harpy (bird monster) and a gorgon(snake monster), and both birds and snakes are known to have NOT X and Y chromosomes to determine sex, but Z and W, and it works the other way around! meaning the offspring with zw chromosomes will be female while the offspring with zz chromosomes will be male! and due to deuce being out of the sex norms of both harpies and gorgons (having no males), he is considered intersex! again, I have nothing about his trans headcanons, but him being intersex makes more sense to me. and I LOVE it if thats the intention.

either way, even if I have my criticisms, I love g3, yes its not comparable to g1 but theyre different series!

[sixoclockuty]

So uh

How DOES Starlo end up like... that, in the Red Giant Star AU?

tldr: after integrity kanako and chujin die and before clover starlo fucked up and got into a near death situation bc he was being…. reckless kinda. and his body didn’t like that very much and became a red giant

the longer answer is. after chujin and kanako both had passed away, ceroba was under a lot of stress— as was the rest of the underground due to the snowdin attack and all. even though the human was dead it didn’t mean things were suddenly stress free. anyways starlo was ALSO stressed out and due to that did what he knew how to do. distract himself and everyone else!!

due to that his little sheriff missions kicked up and got much more intense. after all, distracting himself is how he copes, and if he doesn’t have time to think, then it’s fiiine right?? so they just keep getting worse (and eventually he’s just doing it by himself occasionally since it gets to be too much for the feisty four and all). so he’s being pretty reckless as of late

yeah well unfortunately this has consequences. i haven’t entirely decided what he was doing exactly but like right now im thinking trying to repair something at a high place— like, maybe the feisty five house roof or something. and he fucking FALLS because he got a little bit too bold.

i dunno, but it’s definitely a near death experience. and he definitely falls somewhere bc he was being careless and it knocks all the air out of him. since he’s in shock, he isn’t able to get any air back in ! so his body starts trying to use the hydrogen to keep him. yk. alive. which doesn’t work! because he runs out of fucking hydrogen!!! and now he can’t nuclear fusion or fission!!! so his body is like “well. fuck.” and red giants itself bc he’s out of hydrogen and he can’t get anymore man. so now he’s all fucked up but luckily help was on the way and uh saved him kinda. except now he’s fucked up and like super tall and red. and constantly in pain and gives regular monsters burns just from touching him. great. they didn’t do a very good job in saving him. he’s slowly dying now guys. :(

alternatively i just took all of his hydrogen one day and he went bam

[the-s1lly-corner]

Can you do TADC cast x reader with an amazing singing voice? And what each member thinks of their voice. Like let's say they just one day hear the reader singing in the halls to themselves or something, what would be their reaction

TADC cast finding out the reader has a good singing voice!

i think ive done a singer!reader before but too be fair iirc correctly those are with a reader who sings to cope... plus it was only for about half the cast, i think! speedrunning this since im answering this while i got something in the oven YAHOO

CAINE:

i think he would first hear you after mindlessly barging into your room. like usually hes good with knocking, but i think sometimes he gets so antsy to see you that he just. invites himself in. thats an issue for a different post, i think. so imagine he finds you singing to yourself in your room... and you sound so amazing... oh he would be in love with you, even more... assuming this is romantic, of course! though i guess thats the default for these kinds of posts.... that aside, i think he would start to ask for you to sing for him alllll the time. its like hearing an angel singing... or perhaps even a siren, given how it draws him right in... adds that to his long list of things about you that he gushes about you

POMNI:

writing her right after i do ragathas but i think that her reaction would be similar... just minus the successful getaway; she would probably trip on something behind her while shes trying to slink away; thus alerting you and stopping your song. tries to stammer out an apology before just blurting out that she heard something; heard you singing and that she didnt mean to intrude but it just sounded so..... alluring? is that the correct word? very bad at trying to defend herself, though is there really anything that she needs to defend herself against? its not like she did something bad, she just walked in on you doing something innocent.... needless to say, i think it would be awkward between the two of you for at least a short period of time... perhaps you offer to sing to her... would that still make it awkward, or would it dismiss it? up to you, my silly reader!

RAGATHA:

probably finds you singing to yourself while cleaning and/or tidying up one of the common areas of the circus after jax's prank leaves it particularly messy! doesnt interrupt you, in fact you might try to quietly back out of the room... i mean she didnt know you could sing, and you never sang around her, plus given that youre doing it while no one else is around... well it would get into her head that this is something personal and private for you. whether or not thats true is up to you, though! i do think her curiosity would eat away at you though, and with thinking about your voice, it would lead to her asking about it. keeping this open ended for you to expand upon this yourself, you could explain to her what music means to you and perhaps you offer to sing to her... shrugs

JAX:

honestly i think he would try to mess up your singing, like it could be his first time hearing you sing and he could be totally captured by your talent; but the asshole in him is telling him to do what he does best. its like setting a glass down when theres a cat nearby. something is bound to happen; you know? like do i think he would sneak around you and form some elaborate prank thats going to dunk slime all over you while youre singing? no, no no not at all. in fact i dont think jax would do that to his actual close friends or partner.... now to zooble or gangle, yeah definitely.... though to be fair he is comfortable with teasing the idea of putting centipedes in ragathas room, knowing that shes deathly afraid of them; and they seem to be decent friends... but im getting off track... no, i think he would just call out a random word while youre focusing on your lyrics; which makes you repeat him and thus breaking your focus

though, he does make up for kind of complimenting you

not quite a sour patch kids kinnie since he doesnt have the sweet part nailed down </3

KINGER:

okay cute idea. while most of the other characters (if not all since im writing everyone out of order) find you singing on accident... imagine you sing to him to try to calm him down after a particularly rough day that leaves him more antsy and anxious than usual. i think depending on the song, if you pick the right one it calms his down real nicely. maybe im biased, but rises the moon... my beloved... cough coughs

anyways... i dont think he would ask you to sing, not because he doesnt like your voice. no he just doesnt want you to feel forced to do it plus i mean... your digital vocal cords can get worn down... maybe... actually i dont think they would?? digital bodies are... weird.. might be a case of temporary strain that doesnt stick but the point still stands, he doesnt want ANY harm or discomfort to come to you; physically or otherwise!

ZOOBLE:

not much impresses zooble, but even with that being said i think they would be able to recognize talent when there is... well talent! though, they are bad at showing their emotions; at least not the ones that are more positive if that makes sense! given their general attitude as well as their flatter voice, a lot of the genuine compliments they give you upon first hearing you sing may come off as sarcastic... or maybe they dont, since you guys may or may not be close and know that this is just how zooble is. they arent going to shower you in compliments like caine, or ask you to sing for them. thats just not how they are, and they simply treat your singing as another part of you! not to say that its not worth gushing over; its just that... gushing isnt really something zooble.... does... you know?

GANGLE:

stealing from kinger but imagine singing to her to help calm her down or get her mind off of something... like i think she would be entranced.. or perhaps confused because now that im thinking about it more imagine youre crying to your partner and they start to just. sing...

shh we can pretend that gangle just enjoys your voice..! finds it very pretty, but also like kinger i dont think she would ask you to sing for her often out of fear of making you feel forced to do it. plus gangle, at least to me, seems like the type to not want to ask anyone for anything for fear that it will make her an annoyance or inconvenience. poor girl... absolutely loves your singing, though

[kaeyapilled]

hey! your kaeya takes are so real!!! I was wondering if you had any good fic recs?? I want to read something that has good kaeya characterization (+bonus if it's ragbros that isn't just them crying and hugging it out like you were talking about) and am tired of scrolling through tags

!! omg thank you im so honored to hear that people like my takes lol

fic recs huh!! i have some!! do you mind it if most of them are about child kaeya? (i hadnt realized how many of my bookmarks focused on his childhood until i went through them all lmao) hopefully it isnt all stuff youve already read before! here goes:

A Horse Makes for a Stable Life by FollowerofMercy – Wanting to test the boundaries of his host’s goodwill, Kaeya asks for a pony for his birthday. He didn’t expect Crepus to deliver. Or, the story in which things get uncomfortably real for young Kaeya.

do you like kaeya and crepus interactions!! because this fic explores their dynamic in suuuuch a nice way that felt very refreshing to see portrayed!! perfect ratio of hurt to comfort in my opinion. overall quite lighthearted compared to my other recs though lol. good exploration of kaeyas inner conflict since a young age. yeah i love it and recommend it

I'm gonna miss your love when it's gone by imaginarypasta – A selection of scenes from Kaeya's childhood related to his relationships with his fathers, and all they have led him to be.

this one is so good!!!! i feel like its rare to see kaeyas biological father portrayed as anything other than a heartless asshole, and this fic explored kaeyas relationship with him in such a nice manner that makes for a very melancholic and. i guess bittersweet story that takes into consideration the nuance of the situation in a way that i really dont see super often. the parts about kaeyas relationship w crepus are also really well done i love it. oh and the khaenri'ah lore the author takes some liberty with is really really interesting!!

not bad for a walk on death's doorstep by b_attery – Fear is a knife’s edge. Fear is a killer. Fear is how you know you’re still alive.

my bookmark of this work said "literally the best kaeya character study ive ever read" and honestly i still stand by that. the word flow is great and the exploration of fear as such an intrinsic part of kaeya's life and as the driving force for most of his actions and feelings and responses. it's so good!!! this one contemplates kaeyas childhood both before and after his arrival in mondstadt and goes until after diluc's return. absolutely recommend it!!

Hundred-Watt Light by pepperjuice – A story about ten years of contingency plans and holding your own hand. (Because how else are you supposed to live with a weight too big to hold all alone?)

this. this rewired my brain forever. this holds the title of best kaeya character study ever along with the previous one i talked about. definitely mind the tags because it primarily deals with suicidal ideation and thoughts so, if that's a trigger then it's best to not read this one lol but still it is SO good and it explores kaeya's inner conflicts and awful coping mechanisms after having such a heavy burden thrusted upon him at an extremely early age with no good support of any kind. i absolutely love this fic it's very dear to me and i think about it sooo often it truly altered my brain chemistry

things fall apart by kernsing – Happy eighteenth, Diluc.

finally some ragbros content! sadly it isnt the reconciliation you asked for it's about when things fell apart. this is one of my favorite ever renditions of how it all went down on That Day - it reshaped some of my own headcanons, actually. this one is more from diluc's pov than kaeya's, and it's written really really well, and explores diluc's grief over his father's death in SUCH an amazing and interesting way!! and the way it parallels kaeya's own emotions and that is exactly what causes them to fight is extremely tasty i loved it. read it it's good

okay i can probably find some more but this is enough for one post i think. deeply sorry for not delivering the good ragbros reconciliation content.. i tbh haven't gathered a lot.. but i hope you and whoever else reads this enjoys these! thank you for the ask <3

[just-jae]

Hazbin Hoetl 5-6

Spoiler warning!

Not gonna lie, at first I was cringing a bit at Lucifer. I was expecting him the have, like, grace and baddie energy. but he's talking to himself pretending to show off rubber ducks to a crowd.

And of all the potential dynamics he and Al could have had, competing father figures was NOT on my mind at all dude. Al? Dad?

But, I watched these last two episodes a couple (okay maybe several) times over and, it's really growing on me. It was definitely the predeveloped impressions getting in the way of really enjoying these characters. Even the irks I had about Alastor aren't really irks anymore, especially with "Dad beat Dad having much better animation and a banger number for Al (seriously wtf he's horrific in this episode)--

"Could you butt out of my song?"

"Your song? I started this!"

"I'm singing it, I'll finish it!"

Before, I was seeing it as how well they pull off my (and arguably the long simmering fandom's) idea of these characters instead of how well the characters as they actually are are told. So many people thought this show would be a super serious deep dive on Christianity and commentary on religion itself. But at this point, it really feels like Heavan and Hell are metaphores. They focus a lot more on personal issues like relationships, coping mechanisms, flaws like nievety, displaced senses of self worth, etc.

Charlie's idea of what "gets people into heaven" is naive and brochure-like. Adam gave a literal list of three items that seemed overly simplistic (and turned out to be wrong).

But at least they had some idea about it. The higher angels themselves had no clue whatsoever, their only concern was preserving the status quo. And even when things are called to question they fall back to old ways just bc they're scared to change anything. Sera didn't have any malice toward Hell, she just doesn't want to make things worse, having Angels fall, have Hell attack Earth or Heaven, have more evil spread, by changing things.

Getting a better idea of what all of this is about makes it so much easier to appreciate things I initially was put off by. It just has a context that it fits into now.

Lucifer being this disillusioned depressed dork with "yeaaaah, No." energy fits into what we've seen of heavenly culture (uncanny innocence, annoying teen pop-culture energy, being perfectionist yet blind to their own flaws)

And The "Hell's Great Dad" song really broke the ice, especially when Mimzy busted in singing ITS MEEEEEEE-- like

Love her. I wasn't expecting to see Mimzy AT ALL since she was removed from the main cast. And after seeing people talk about her and how they were wondering about her, it definitely felt like popping in the way she did was a response to that. Even I was wondering bc you don't just drop a former love interest for a character like Alastor, but still have them show up in the pilot-- I wanted to see Mimzy lol.

like literally:

"It's MEEE, It's MEEE,

I know you were all waiting for MEEEE!

I'm Here, what a GAAAS,

Took a while but I'm here at LAAST"

Like, im sorry but I felt like she was pointing at me personally, not the other characters, and that was hilarious.

It's so random but doesn't feel out of place at all somehow. The tensions were already super high, so a random screaming woman busting in with even higher energy is like-- wtf?? :'D??

She was a blast the entire time tho, and actually tied into the reoccurring theme of only reaching out to someone so they can do something for you.

It also definitely pinched a side of Alastor, irritating that he does apparently NEED to be there, there's some obligation he actually has to the hotel, or at the very least some stakes to not holding things together, not bc he defended the hotel but bc he specifically says "I can't have that here" , he also doesn't refute the claims Mimzy makes about him. Al clearly adores her and isn't surprised by her antics at all yet still tells her to leave. With the mention of Alastor's "leash" in the same episode BC of Mimzy was just such a great way to use her character. A fun entrance, thematic relevance, and a great plot device to reveal more about Alastor's situation and motives.

Like I said, at first the food tasted cold. I was thinking to myself "Eh, nothing really that crazy ig" but the more I watch the episodes and get over whatever my expectations were, the more I enjoy what's there.

Like, at first I was thinking, "Oh no Lucy's another akward dork, a normie, a loooooserr" (not that being an akward dork or a normie is bad but those were the vibes I was giving off, I'm sorry)

But I keep watching "Hell's Greatest Dad" and NOW it's like

LOOK AT HIM< LOOK AT HIM GO

Like, he's fugghing adorable with the "WAP BAP BOOM"

the puppets and the circus imagery, and just the innocent unmalicious enthusiasm. He's stumbling around over barely knowing his daughter and is now sprinting to make up for being so absent-- and even that absence is implied to be due to chronic depression and pining, missing heaven and having to live in hell forever, not only being the one who supposedly created it by accident, but tried and failed to fix it, even having his own theme park ripped off by a deadly Sin. The show calls it out bluntly, but despite his cheery tone and, yeaaah, no, yeaaah, no" attitude, they did a great job showing that his depression manifested in detachment and disinterest. It sucks for the people it effects but it also sucks to be the one who dropped the ropes in your relationships.

So seeing him brjghtenup and glow over just helping his Charlie put her hotel together was great. He feels useful and wanted again. And imo it's a double edge sword as well if Lucy feels like he has to be useful to be a decent dad.

So, idk. I guess I do want to see how he handles trying to be in Charlie's life again, especially since, at this point Alastor knows and has supported her more than he ever has-- despite the rough beginning and the mockery. (Also Lilith's face being faded out was sus af)

I'm convinced that in Al's case it's definitely not from a genuine place, at least, we still have no reason to believe it is. He was glaring at Lucy as soon as he walked in, and the nearly every comment on how great his relationship with Charlie is was also a jab to piss off Lucy instead of a genuine expression.

A performance, in short.

Still, the fact that someone who's only just met Charlie has a better relationship with her than her father has got to suck to realize if you're the father.

Also-- the scene at the club-- I was pretty mixed about it, like, doing drugs, itself isn't bad-- it can be unhealthy and it can put others at risk if you're resigning your cognizance and self control for the sake of coping with stress-- so it can very easily enable bad things, especially if you become addicted, so,imo is pretty wreckless and definitely a vice. But it doesn't make you a bad person.

But then again angels also seem to think premarital sex and promiscuity is bad too. (Promiscuity puts you at risk for disease, and like drugs can be driven by vices, but, again, the thing itself isn't bad and can still be a healthy practice when it comes from a healthy place)

I'm genuinely proud of Angel for actually growing though, seeing him take care of Nifty and protect her from Val got me on the "Fuck em up" energy. It's always great to see a group of friends watching out for eachother when they know there's a danger to what they're doing-- ESPECIALLY when one of them is new to it all. That's why if you ARE going to do drugs or drink or whatever, definitely don't do it alone or without someone you trust with your safety.

And also never feel like you have to do those things to maintain relationships, some people feel like it would be an insult to imply they dont trust someone or just for being disinterested in their offer. And, frankly there are people who will prey on that.

That was just a great scene. It had some flaws, but was still great.

Also--

PENTIOUS

I HATE

BROTHERMAN MADE ALL THE MISTAKES.

"Bc I'M HAVING SEX WITH EVERY--"

THATS NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY YOU FUCK

Also, not gonna lie but Sera's got me like

Its been a while since I've been down bad for a femenine character.

She is beauty, she is grace~