#im gonna go back and listen to it all looking for the connections lol

[lady-margaret]

bridgerton season 3 episode 4 screaming thoughts (unedited)

AW DEBLING THAT WAS SO CUTE 😭 colin step it up jeez

lol she likes that window cuz she can see the bridgerton house from there

oh ben is back at it again

CUTIE POMERANIAN

me and the queen thinking same thoughts cuz?????? how the hell brimsley reading all that from back there

i just know the queen is gonna hate the bridgertons when franny doesnt pick the marquis

HYACINTH 🤣🤣🤣

JOHN FCKING STIRLING JOHN STIRLING IS IN THE HOUSE YALL ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

VIOLET IS SO FUNNY WITH HER LOOKS LIKE SHE CAN JUST TELL RIGHT AWAY

wait theyre so funny 😭😭😭😭 not them literally sitting in silence

alice is gorgeous i cant wrap my head around their family storyline when shes onscreen

OMG IS THIS WHERE THEY’LL PLAY JEALOUS

eloise 😭 read the room 😭

o god colin

oh :((((((((((( oh lol nvm :>>>>>> theyre in agreement

hes so cute 🥹🥹🥹

hElp why am i rooting for debling COLIN DO BETTER !!!!!!! DAMN U COLIN what is it with him and 3somes

franny is so cute 🥹🥹🥹

pausing the ep to say that the visitor for cressida is def eloise

yep i was right

boys rly are boys at any period of time *sigh*

colin get out of there buddy … is he gonna wank it out

look okay portia does have a point but but but 🥺 love

did kate and anthony seriously go on an extended honeymoon 🙃 shes gonna be pregnant when they get back

violet knows what she’s doing and i love her for that

its the hairstyle of the queen the went viral

oh alice ur so beautiful

idk about this violet storyline 🥺 between me and her i feel like im the one who’s not over edmund 😭😭

i want eloise cressida and pen to be just friends and for cressida to say sorry to pen and grovel

LORD KILMARTIN BACK IN THE HOUSE i love him 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

philippa really selling the pregnant thingy 😭😭😭 o are they both pregnant

SNOW ON THE BEACH !!!!!!!!!!

eloise is back

O GOD COLIN ‼️

debling is connecting the dots

okay so colin, honey, listen. you will only resolve this if u like propose like rn

portia pls love ur daughter

AW IT WAS SHEET MUSIC??? 🥹🥹🥹💕

COLIN YES GO COLIN wait he ran after the carriage 🤭🤭

wait did they not play jealous at all yet? or have i missed it

COLIN SAY IT SAY ITTTTTTTTTTTTT

CARRIAGE SCENE PLS ‼️🤞🤞🤞

despite being the writer of the bridgerton family, and yes he is good with words, he has yet to have like a distinct monologue or line that becomes the pinnacle of the season

YES PENELOPE YES SPEAK UR TRUTH AND GET UR MAN

omg omg omg omg omg

i forgot what song title it is but omg its the pitch perfect song 😭

OH HES GOING FOR IT

seggs scenes are so awkward for me lmao

okay wait i love this

AHHHHHHHHH

oh no now he has to find out shes lady whistledown

OMG HE SAID THE THING HE SAID THE THING

[princekirijo]

Something I didn't really notice until replaying Royal but Ryuji really doesn't let the past hold him down? Like in the rank 2 scene he tells Akira that he doesn't want to focus on his past and he's more focused about the future.

I think that's kinda neat tbh he doesn't wanna let the stuff with Kamoshida or his dad drag him down, he just wants to keep going forward.

[archiemyback]

Omg please do riding jann while he's driving 😫🙏🏿🙏🏿

RIDIN’ & DRIVIN’. | jann mardenborough x reader.

warnings: smut, pnv, fingering, speeding in a car, riding, female anatomy, anything i missed let me know

author: this is so smart, im also not the best at smut so please bare with me. minors dni please! there are probably some grammar errors so ignore them lol

“jann is this a good idea? what if you crash or something?” you tried to get your point across but jann’s lips on your neck just feel too good. your words stumble off your lips and move into the heavy air of the car.

“i’m not gonna crash baby, trust me.” he moved back so he can look into your eyes, “you trust me right?”

you nodded. “of course i do, and i trust your driving skills too but you might get distracted.” you run a hand down his neck and let it rest on his chest.

“i’ll take it slow if it makes you feel better. i mean,” he looks down at the clock in the car. “it is 1 in the morning so.” he chuckles.

you let a small smile grace your face, nodding you kiss him once more and give in. “okay, let’s do it then.”

jann smiles and moves you to sit on his lap, effectively removing your pants and underwear. he lets his fingers run over your clit, getting you ready to take him. he brings your lips to his, helping you relax so he could properly prep you.

when he felt you were ready, he let you unbuckle his pants and pull them down. “i know you’re eager, love but don’t rip my pants,” he teases.

“i’m sorry, i just need you,” you connected your lips again while he slipped himself into you, making sure to go slow so he doesn’t hurt you. “fuck, jann.”

“you ready to ride, love?” he cranked the car on as you got situated. you nodded and he put the car in drive, starting slow at first.

while you on his lap started to pick up some speed, holding his shoulders for some balance. jann had one hand on the wheel and one on your waist, picking up speed as you clenched around him. “baby, you feel so good.”

“jann—fuck. go faster.” you lean into his neck as he listens you your request, you riding him faster. he continuously speeds up the more you both build up to your climax.

jann reached his hand that was on your waist and brings it to your clit, massaging it to bring you closer to your orgasm. “let go for me, love,” jann keeps his eyes on the road and pushes the speed of the car to as fast as it can go and you cum hard, letting out the loudest moan.

“jann, slow down.” your chest heaves up and down as he listens and lets the car slow down. “did you come?”

he shakes his head, “no, doll, help me out? please?”

you smile and resume bouncing on his lap, helping him finish. when he finally stops the car all the way, he places both hands on your hips, helping to guide you. “just like that, love. i’m almost there.”

he groans as he slowly feels himself about to finish, pulling you in for another kiss. after another moment, he finally lets himself finish inside you, breathing heavy.

the car is silent between the both of you, save for the engine of the car running. you let your fingers scratch the nape of jann’s neck, laying a couple of kissed on his face.

“thank you for trusting me, my love. was it good for you?”

“of course. and yes, i really did enjoy it.” you move to put your pants and underwear back on so you can sit back in the passenger seat. “i didn’t realize you were a daredevil like that.”

jann laughs, pulling his pants and stuff back up. “you know i’m a racer, of course i’m a daredevil.

when you both are situated, jann looks over at you. “you wanna do this again tomorrow? same time?”

you roll your eyes, laughing. “same time tomorrow.”

[theslay3d]

Thin Line

Percy Jackson x Child of Apollo!Reader

Gender:Gender neutral 

Warnings:Mentions of wounds and blood 

Word count:778

A/N not me doing ANOTHER percy x child of apollo reader when im literately a child of hades but oh well also there might be spelling mistakes im super tired rn

L/N = Last Name

Apparently Percy got hurt again. Annabeth just told you what happened. It was a minor monster attack. You don't even know which monster but since you're a child of Apollo who can heal people well. Plus Will was gone on a date. You had to help heal Percy even if you hated him. Dislike is a better word but still you've disliked him ever since he got here. Could it be because he blew up a toilet and ruined something you were working on? Yeah you could say that.

You did feel bad for him with all that prophecy stuff but you were kinda mean to him but still he was mean first. Anyway now you're on your way to the infirmary to help heal Percy again. You see Percy got hurt a lot whether that be just simple sword cuts or monster attacks and you happened to be the one who always had to heal him. For some reason everytime he got hurt all the other healers from the Apollo cabin disappeared.  

You finally made it to the infirmary. Luckily no one else got hurt besides Percy yet also unluckily as it meant you would be in a room with him alone. “Wowww Jackson can't believe you got hurt again, didn't expect that” You said sarcastically as you walked further into the room. Percy shot up from where he was laying down, saw it was you and laid back on his elbows.

“Awe, what were you worried about me?” Percy replied also sarcastically. “You wish” You shot back while rolling your eyes. You went over to the cabinet with the medical supplies, grabbed some gauze,disinfectant and bandages.

You walked over to where he was laying down and started to assess his injuries. He had a cut on his forehead that had dried blood on it, a cut on his lip, and one more injury on his stomach. You walked back to another cabinet, got some rags and a cup of warm water so you could wash the blood away.

You walked back and sat near him on the bed. “Get up” You demanded and surprisingly Percy listened. He sat up so you were almost face to face. You set all your stuff on a table near you then reached out for the rag and dipped it in the water(ok rn were gonna pretend water just wont heal percy rn lol i didn't think of it as i wrote about the water so yeah).

You brought the wet rag up to the cut on his forehead to try and clean some of the blood away. You got a little too close to the cut and Percy winced as his hand shot out to grab something to hold on to which happened to be your hip. Your breath hitched a little as you felt his hand he noticed and quickly let go. “Sorry” He mumbled. “It's ok” You whispered.

You continued to clean the cut on his forehead until all the blood was gone. “This is probably gonna hurt” You warned him as you grabbed the disinfectant and put some on a clean rag. Percy nodded in reply showing he understood. You dabbed the rag on the cut slowly Percy letting out a groan as you did. You continued to clean the cut on his forehead until it was clean and banaged. You dabbed a little water on the cut on his lip and he winced “Sorry” You muttered out.  You continued cleaning not noticing that Percy's sea green eyes were flickering between your eyes and your lips.

Percy didn't hate you truly, he actually thought you were kind of cute but then he messed it up by ruining your project. So you and him just banter back and forth everyday both pretending to hate each other. What Percy did next might have been impulsive but he didn't regret it. He put his hand under your chin from where you were looking down and pulled you to him.

Your lips connected and you were in shock. Was The Percy Jackson actually kissing you? You started to kiss back not realizing what was actually happening. Your brain finally caught up to your actions and you started to pull away Percy's lips chased yours as you pulled away.

You licked your lips as you said “I-I thought you uh hated me”

“Hated you? I thought you were smart L/N?” Percy replied back as he smirked at your flushed and shocked face. “Shut up” You laughed out as you hit his chest. Maybe you didn't hate Percy Jackson after all there is a thin line between hate and love.

[lovebvni]

hey!! shiv here!! you’re so spot on it’s scary really!! i feel like you tapped into my brain for the reading. Let’s break this down!!

1. just be is my motto. When everything fails, i just fall back to this. Nothing to get, nothing to do. Just be. Never fails me. So i’m happy to know i’m on the right path🥹

2. i want my void to be pink in colour🤭 and i have been feeling really good while doing pysch-k?? helps me accept the fact entirely that i’ll enter/wake up in the void.

3. I keep myself entertained lol!!! before i attempt to tap in the void i listen to a bunch of songs to feel light and brush off the nerves and thoughts! sometimes i even like to imagine myself safe cuddled up in bed lol (can u tell i’m deprived of physical touch lol)

4. I’m really shocked how you could see the childhood aspect too cause my earliest memory of my life is my parents fighting and my mom being really upset and i remember the helpless feeling lingering on (cause she’d just look at me and cry when i’d ask her what’s wrong) when i enter the void, i’m not saying i want the perfect parents but just parents that are sort of easy to be around. I really am not my actual self around them. I’m always holding my breath around them. I have accepted the fact that i’m not gonna be one of those kids that have a close and emotionally safe connection w their parents. It’s okay. I just don’t want to feel the need like i’m constantly walking on eggshells around them and my mom to be more independent. These are the tweaks i think you were referring to? i wasn’t thinking about this aspect a lot but i guess during the day, i still have this thought at the back of my mind and maybe that’s why you picked it up?

ALSO TRIGGER WARNING: SA!!

idk if it was this but i was assaulted as a child by one of the family members and i was in two minds if i should revise it! i was bitter for soooo long. Hated men, i even stopped listening to male artists for a while. (it’s so weird but the aftermath of what happened to me as a child is showing up now as an adult) but i am done w all of that. I have made my peace with it and as much as i hate how cliche this is gonna sound but the kind of person i have turned out to be, i wouldn’t want to change it just to be “perfect” so i won’t be revising it. I’m sorry if this upset you or anyone.

I hope i can enter the void soon and share my success story with you (please send good energy my way lol, it’s just the thought that counts really🤭🫶🏼)

Big big love to anyone and everyone reading this and going through just about anything in life. If it’s great then i only hope it’s greater for you and if it’s going absolutely shite then i hope it gets less shittier by the second.

and lastly, i think you are really really good! i would love to support your work (when i can afford it) for real! i have never had such a crazy accurate reading before. So thank you🥹 Hope you’re doing good!!!

hii shiv!!! i’m soooo happy ur reading was accurate n resonated a lot!!

when i first typed the word ‘void’ i saw it as a purple colour, vende why it’s purple in ur reading, then as i went on, the more i thought, he more pink it became. i’m pretty sure i got a visual of it too — it’s so pretty <3 like seriously, if u see me in ur void, im just looking!!!

and with ur sa, there may be something you’re still holding onto with that, or some cleansing that should to be done in ur sacral chakra. as someone who went through something similar, literally js imagining good sexual experiences with someone u love helps…. like a lot 😭😭

and i’m always sending positive energy to everyone i get readings too!! i trust n believe u will enter the void soon and it’s gonna be HELLA fun for u <3 i love u sm!!! have fun!! <3

[quietbluejay]

Angel Exterminatus 4

wow Perturabo gave in awful fast Perturabo: you want me to build you a theatre so you can tell me a story about what we're going to do for this campaign Fulgrim: yes Perturabo: ok sure I'd say Fulgrim's doing a really good job of manipulating here but it doesn't seem like it's really that hard. He's doing a good job of making it look like he's just doing stuff because he wants to, though.

Forrix would absolutely hate the French and the concept of elan.

initial reluctance? bro you showed zero reluctance unless it is meant to have happened offscreen not even a tsundere esque "im doing it because i want to and not just for Fulgrim's Cursed Storytime" note from future bluejay: as we know, this could never happen, because perturabo has never actually done anything he wants in his life. .... I want to stick him in horse plinko with Rin Tohsaka. This would make both of them worse, probably.

o....k... are you trying to created haunted theatre? because that's how you get haunted theatre

absolutely cursed image of the iron warriors as bees THEY'RE EVEN BLACK AND YELLOW IVE CONNECTED THE DOTS black and yellow markings build things scurry around doing things for their leader that's not your beloved hive of honeybees that's the iron warriors RUN AAAAAAA

"I'm not dramatic, unlike SOME people in this family," he said dramatically, with a dramatic expression Mortarion 🤝 Perturabo

okay that's interesting but also bro did you consider not doing a genocide? it's not very hard to avoid doing genocide especially when you don't even live on the same planet note from future bluejay: SKELETON WITH GLOWING EYES REACTION IMAGE

yriel has never done a genocide yes i know this is warhammer and i'm setting myself up to get well actually'd

Perturabo: ????? is this physical contact?????

perturabo is stunned at this unexpected attack

Perturabo: robots will never break your heart Me, thinking about Transformers: that's what you think

again, this describes me persevering through A Thousand Sons. May Perturabo's experience be happier than mine.

ooo mission impossible time iron hands and raven guard team-up

so don't look at him LOL

This guy is supposed to be some kind of badass, right? I've heard the name Sharrowkyn before.

oh for- Ferrus Manus died in a fair fight on a battlefield! that's not murder! the iron hands are swagless in every single appearance also this section has some of the most clunky writing in the book so far

Perturabo listening to Fulgrim's Storytime Hour 🤝 me reading A Thousand Sons

uh wat honestly I'm glad I got pre-warned about this bit, somehow it's less lurid than the freaking wiki description of it?

back to team Mission Impossible that was a very fun chase sequence

lmao Perturabo takes one look at Fabulous Bill and is like "I don't like this man"

aw Perturabo really does care about Fulgrim Something about this feels like it's All Part Of The Plan even though I can't see how

mcneill can you like not use weird metaphors for ONCE in your life I guess it's not that bad I'm just still scarred from that one in A Thousand Sons involving suckling

he has the backbone of a chocolate eclair

i genuinely think this man is only happy with someone to tell him what to do

not even happy! its like his natural state is just automatically doing what people tell him to

iM????

someone is arguing to NOT kill surrendered opponents???

and its WAR CRIMES GEORGIOS???

he's right you know

also wait i just noticed "seductive purr" wat

OH NO the imperial fist dude from the beginning that i liked is still alive this is bad because he's held captive i have a bad feeling im about to witness another war crime that shouldn't be read while eating

peeks through fingers okay im gonna try and read it okay so he found another fist also in the chamber with him also i want to say there's a LOT of cliche in this book but it's kinda cliche in a good way? it's like popcorn McNeill has actually managed to create an enjoyable reading experience (in general)

like this but also, mental image of Bile is now okay i can't find a gif of the scene let's just go with "he's on heelies"

okay for once in his life mcneill decided less is more for which i am grateful

man, Fulgrim played him like a fiddle

current opinion of perturabo: i do not have any strong feelings about him he's just, kind of meh let's see how it goes as the book continues it's really selling the EC and Fulgrim, though, they're really fun characters, good combo of competence and style. Which I did not expect based on previous experiences!

[storiesofsvu]

Happy Thursday! It’s a very big day pascal!!!

(hint… that has nothing to do with l&o… im sorry for what im about to become…)

Okay, mothership. Let’s see how this starts out.

Okay… so… hear me out… our vic is recently out of jail, sure they were exonerated, BUT I guarantee you the parents/family of that little girl don’t fully believe it and they just became your prime suspects. (and if they don’t even question them in this ep I will be disappointed in them…)

Yeah I really like this new DA.

“ONLY TWO TRIALS IVE EVER LOST” ???!! JESUS FUCK he’s *good*

Ooooo and now there’s $10 million dollars involved. The plot thickens…

I think I say it every week, but I LOVE KATE

I know this bald guy from somewhere but I can’t remember where. OH!! IS IT NURSE JACKIE?! I think it’s from there.

That blue suit shaw’s got on is FIIINE.

You know… I think what I disliked the most about the OG l&o was cosgrove, mccoy and Nolan. Now two of those are gone and I’m actually enjoying the show more LOL.

Why is the courtroom backwards?

Very likely unpopular opinion: I think carisi would fit in really well on this show. We should replace Nolan with him, actually get him some screen time and court room scenes considering svu never lets him be a lawyer anymore (I know we’re getting some tonight but still. I’m salty with how few court scenes we’ve gotten since covid)

SAM IN THE GREEN PANT SUIT!!!! YES!! GIRL!!

Ooooo what a plot twist!! Yaass!

Okay… I might skip TO, we’ll see if it hooks me in the intro or not

It did not suck me in. the end.

SVU here we go!

Ooooooooo a JURY deliberating?!?! We’ve never gotten to see this before!! I think this would be a super neat thing to see more often!

Ohhhh fuuuuuccckkk me. Velasco in the leather jacket and on his bike. FUCK. I literally let out an audible groan and dropped the apple slice I was eating. FUCK. I am down bad for him rn.

Who’s kid is that with fin?

TERRY NAKED IN BED WITH A LADY!!! TERRY NAKED IN BED!!

Listen this like, 10 seconds of personal life is all I need on a regular basis.

Okay he’s found guilt but im assuming that the girl they “peer pressured” into it is gonna come back to bite them in the ass

There’s gotta be some weird ass connection here, OR it’s a Bronwyn 2.0 situation. The way she looked at him? Ugh.

Im over the two new girls on the squad. Over it. I don’t like either of them.

Ah.. yes.. here we go. fuck this shit.

“you’re the one who wrote the bau profile” ….they’re literally trying to be criminal minds now. They DO realize that criminal minds is currently airing right? And that they’re not directly competing with each other, right? Like…cm is on streaming, they’re on cable, and they’re on different days/time slots. Stop with all this profiling shit and stick to just the nypd detective shit. That’s WHY we watch the show and what we come for…

Welp. Adding new charges is certainly a way to go rn. BUT now the defence can come back and say that they’re making shit up just to bring a new case to convict.

I know (assume lol) that it’s the same actress but the three “versions” of Maddie look nothing alike to me. Like, that is not the same girl lol.

I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT WHO TERRY WAS IN BED WITH. One night stand? Gf? Casual dating? Fwb? WHOOOMST

“why didn’t you tell anyone this before?” coming from CURRY is EXACTLY why it should’ve been another SVU detective in that room, they know how to act, how to encourage victims to open up. (I get that maybe the thought behind it was that she’s a woman vs the rest of the men, but still).

HAHAH not carisi calling out the other boys for being divorced when they’re giving him shit about marriage troubles. I love him.

Ohhhh gooodddddddd no. not repping himself… fuck.

Okay…either this guy is dumb AF, or he’s playing dumb. Like the comment in chambers all “where do I sit? I’m Canada, I don’t know how the law works down here” and now he’s getting cocky and repping himself? Like yeah, I lowkey get it, Im Canadian and know more about laws in nyc than up here but I’m sure this man wasn’t out writing fanfic while kidnapping girls lol. Like, does he ACTUALLY know enough to accurately rep himself? Probs not. Like that’s fucking dumb. Carisi should be able to get him on so many technicalities and make him look like an idiot/rile him up enough to explode.

Also highkey worried about benson on the stand. She’s already so wound up it might not take long for her to burst. AND considering the jump scare that was William lewis last week, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s still on her mind and a perp grilling her on the stand is gonna give her flashbacks of that trial and we all know how that went….

How tf  did he get a MILLION dollars?!

“carisi’s right, that monster needs eyes on him” YEAH DUH. THAT’S YOUR FUCKING JOB OLIVIA! Get yourself/your team on it!

What do you mean you’ve NEVER BEEN ON A STAKEOUT BEFORE?!? Curr’s an iab captain, I’m SURE she had to start as a beat cop… cmon.. that’s lazy writing.

Okay, but madi’s mom isn’t texting the perp to actually sleep with him, she’s doing it to get under his skin, right? Or like, to seduce him and she’s going haywire to kill him, right?

This guy is SO gross.

How is he SO good in a courtroom???

I thought amanda was in this episode?

Yup. Called it.

Velasco could shoot me any day. Sir. Please. I am begging.

“and now fin I want you to leave” girl. What. You’re going so fucking rogue and im so here for it LOL.

Okay, im just now remembering the description of the ep that amanda’s in, I was confused lol

Okay, that ep was good. Lets see how OC does next

Wait… I wasn’t paying attention, was that the MIA cop? Sam? Cause if so… fuck…

Ok, judging by these flashbacks, yes.. god his poor wife.

Elliot.. youre talking like a cop. How long have you been doing this? You know better.

The pacing of these episodes is too slow, it’s getting boring. It’s too much of stabler UC and not enough of actual police work/in the office. Its losing my attention FAST.

Like.. I watch this show for the cast as a whole and when we get arcs like this it turns into the Elliot stabler show and im not here for that. Throwing Ayanna UC for the meeting was a great addition but now we’re back to the stabler show and I’m scrolling my phone not paying attention.

Also… OC always fucks up and doesn’t have subtitles on it and that makes me lose interest cause I just simply cant watch shit without subtitles lol

Man I really fucking feel for sam’s(?) wife. This is heartbreaking. Ayanna & jet both with the single fucking tear? PLEASE. I’m literally crying.

Okay, stabler’s older(?) brother? Was he once a cop too? Or is he just playing cop rn? Is he gonna get himself killed??

This man needs therapy. Period.

“im no cop…”

“relax. I’m atf.” YAS lol.

“youd be surprised” “maybe I wouldn’t” yeah…none of us would. Stabler’s always in trouble.

Well THAT’S SUSPICIOUS

Man, we all knew this was coming, like the foreshadowing (for us as viewers) was SO obvious, but this still suuuuper complicates everything, ESP with joe being MIA.

Okay. That’s all. law and order day is officially over and the rest of the weekend is all about taylor swift. I’m not sorry. T-minus one hour!!!

[farcillesbian]

im so. god I had such a yuri night I have so much to tell you all yuri nation:

- went to the skate park and we ended up hanging out for 5 whole hours

- I got comfier with skateboarding!! woohoo!!

- we were listening to music and then she was like omg I'm gonna get my guitar from my car, is it ok if I play a couple of my songs. so she fucking played and sang two of her original songs to me and it was such a privilege to get to hear it. and she's so talented. and in fact she asked to record herself on my phone so I could play it back on the speaker and she could play along to the recording and so now I have a recording of her singing and playing guitar saved on my phone and the clip ends with her giggling and I am so fucking gay about it I definitely fell a little bit in love in that moment

- I decided to try skating down a ramp and she had offered to help me by letting me hold onto her. so I HELD BOTH OF HER HANDS WHILE I WENT DOWN AND SHE RAN WITH ME TIL I STOPPED. this happened twice btw.

- we went and had a bite to eat at the tim Hortons across the street. and we were def stoned lol and just chatting and eating and I swear at one point while I was talking I caught her looking at me. but also she was excitedly telling her about this sports bra she got that was comfy and made her feel so cute and happy about it AND SHE SHOWED ME A PIC OF HER WEARING IT. like it *was* just a sports bra but I was so gay in that moment it was like. uhm. yes that's wonderful Sidney. 😳 she has no idea how that was for me lol.

- then we spent time chilling in the grass watching the stars come out and listening quietly to music and it was so pleasant. our shoulders were touching at one point and I was like god I am so fucking gay.

- while doing that I had to run away for a sec to go pee across the street lol and when she came back she told me she'd been practicing her voice training a bit while I was gone and she actually like was trying out her higher voice around me and she told me that she rarely uses that around anyone because she's shy and nervous about it. but she shyly spoke to me like that 😭 it was really fucking sweet and I felt so privileged that she felt comfortable enough around me to do that. and her voice is genuinely sooooo beautiful (both her upper and lower registers) I love listening to her speak

- she also talked about how sometimes people who see her at the cafe will say she's pretty or people will say that someone saw her and called her pretty and she has trouble believing that they're being genuine and not just like. thinking they're Being Nice™ because they notice she's trans. and I was like well I mean i genuinely had this "who's that pretty girl and why does she know my name" moment when we ran into each other last week. and she then asked me if I was nervous when I went back up to say hi the next time I was in and I was like MAYBE A LITTLE... and she said she noticed my hands shaking 😭😭😭 but she also was really happy I said hi to her 😭😭😭😭

- after she had played her music for me she also talked about how it meant a lot that when I heard her play at the festival in the fall I told her it sounded very midwest emo to me. and that to connect on a music level like that is something really important and special to her. and I'm like SAME.

- she also told me she really likes how I'm always paying attention to positive art. like I'm always noticing little trans graffiti and stuff and showing it to her.

- when it got cold she lent me an extra hoodie from her car and told me yellow suited me 😭

basically like if she didn't have a gf I would probably think she's into me and tbh I still am kinda wondering that because she said she had questioned in the past whether she's polyam and decided that she's probably not but I can't help but wonder. idk this could mean anything and either way this is such a beautiful deep friendship. it feels so real like we can both be fully ourselves with each other

[lake-cosay]

jesse & lake songs

nobody asked but here's my list of jesslake songs, minus the ones i found from the fandom which i can make a separate list of if y'all want. i'm here to validate myself lol so these are all the ones i came up with on my own (some of em are specific to just lake or just jesse and some of them make absolutely no sense to anyone else but yknow)

lake songs

Renegade by Styx

the whole song is about being on the run from the cops and in fear for your life do i really need to say much more. plus its a banger. it's one of those songs i would definitely make an animatic for if i had the patience

My Silver Lining by First Aid Kit

first aid kit has been my comfort band, if you will, for years, and i've known this song for years, but recently i actually listened to the lyrics properly (auditory processing issues who) and was like holy shit this screams lake. it's about being stuck someplace you hate and wanting to break out. i was gonna point out some of the lyrics that really stick out to me but it's just. the WHOLE song. but if i had to pick my favorite for this context, it'd be the chorus:

"i hear a voice calling / calling out for me / these shackles i've made in an attempt to be free / be it for reason, be it for love / i won't take the easy road."

(and like. there's always a chance i'm massively mis interpretting the lyrics so,,, idk lol)

jesse songs

Empty Page by The Crane Wives

yknow how at some point basically everyone in our fandom realizes "omg the b2 title 'cracked reflection' applies to jesse too because he copies the people around him!!!" it's that but in a banger song

it's also a little depressing but let jesse be sad sometimes ppl he needs catharsis too

jesse & lake songs

Rebel Heart by First Aid Kit

this one is in this section cause it fits for both of them. like it could see the lyrics being from either of their perspectives. it's also another one where its basically just the WHOLE song that i feel fits but here's some highlights:

"you told me once i had a rebel heart / i don't know if that's true / but i believe you saw something in me that lives inside you too"

"i know you truly saw me / even if just for a while / maybe that's why it hurts now / to leave it all behind"

"i don't know what it is that makes me run / that makes me wanna shatter everything that i've done / why do i keep dreaming of you? / why do i keep dreaming of you? / is it all because of my rebel heart?"

this is another one i can picture an animatic for. curse you adhd

Wait for Me from Hadestown

(i personally like either the concept album version or the nytw/live version best for them)

listen. i'm never gonna be over the parallels between jesse and lake's story and orpheus and eurydice's (in hadestown specifically, lol). obviously the chorus is the part that really fits, but it just reminds me so much of the mall car, the wasteland, and so on, of all the shit that both jesse and lake go through to get back to each other and to get home. dont touch me im emotional again

Vanilla Twilight by Owl City

"please i just want u to hold me again" the song. also it's just nostalgic for me cause owl city my beloved. reminds me of AUs where jesse can't get back on the train and is just stuck missing lake, not knowing what to do and just generally Being Depressed Now

"the silence isn't so bad / till i look at my hands and feel sad / 'cause the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly"

"drenched in vanilla twilight / i'll sit on the front porch all night / waist deep in thought because when i think of you, i don't feel so alone"

Ribs by Lorde

this one is mostly just vibes. as far as the lyrics the most i can understand is "growing up sucks." i found the song through a connverse animatic and the connverse fandom got me into infinity train so i guess my brain connected them? but the vibes are so good.

"you're the only friend i need / sharing beds like little kids"

Little Soldiers by The Crane Wives

i almost forgot this one cause i forgot to put it on my playlist cause i hear it all the time on cd in my car. my GOD this is the most jesslake song out there i swear to god. i don't even know how to articulate it more than that. please just go listen to it

the "i swear that i loved you/i swear that you loved me" parts get to me man. holy shit.

[golbrocklovely]

since twitter's dying....

here's the last bit of colby's tweets from 2019.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

~~~~~~~~~~~

@/badboywolfy: Country Road gonna go down in history as a cult classic

Dec. 1 - you know it

in the middle of it all

Dec. 4 - i’ve never felt more connected to the universe than i have this past week. it’s the weirdest thing

Dec. 8 - something’s watching over me

Dec. 10 - seeing MCR perform live in 10 days and i am definitely not okay

@/andrearussett: IM SO JEALOUS

i’ll send you a video of me in the pit

Dec. 11 - i loveeee twitter (reply to someone who said something mean, i assume. bc even i back then didn't get to see the tweet lol)

i want a hairless cat

Dec. 12 - sorry truth, dyin young, demon youth

(okay from this point down, it's mostly all fans asking questions, so whatever is indented is his response)

@/ColbyBrock i hope you know that we love you a lot

Dec. 16 - and i love you all too

@/ColbyBrock how is your mental health?

Dec. 17 - you know, life always has its ups and downs and it’s been super stressful recently to be honest. but i’m happy! and that’s all that matters. things are getting better

what's the first emo song you can think of off the top of your head (the tweet said something like this, but has been deleted since)

Dec. 18 - from first to last - emily

favorite series so far

definitely the one we just filmed ! it just gets more and more intense .. i hope you’re ready

@/ColbyBrock what’s one thing you’re looking forward to in 2020 ?

focusing on positives, leaving the negative people and comments behind

(haha......... IF THEY ONLY KNEW)

@/ColbyBrock what’s ur advice for 2020

i wanna challenge people to work on spreading love instead of hate 🖤 not really advice hahah but i think the internet has turned into a darker place this past year, and i really want people to think before they speak or tweet or whatever. spread love !

@/ColbyBrock do you think you’ll dye your hair a different color soon

hahah every single day i get people wanting something different. i’ve just learned to stick with what makes me happy .. but always open to suggestions 👀👀 maybe a dark purple next ?

@/ColbyBrock do you have any plans for your birthday yet

nah. i’ve been so busy i haven’t even thought about my birthday

@/ColbyBrock do you ever get nightmares about being haunted?

all the time. my minds been fucked.. not to scare anyone but i’ve been in so many dark places and after awhile it sticks with you in a way

@/ColbyBrock do you have any regrets about past videos or are you proud of everything you’ve put out?

i’m insecure about so many videos of me on the internet i wish you all knew

(he really knows how to make me sad....)

@/ColbyBrock what do you think about us? the fandom?

i LOVE you guys. you’re hilarious. all i can ask is if people will try to get along and be kind to each other. you’re all my family, leave the negativity and mean comments behind

@/ColbyBrock you should get a dog.

ugh i wish. i wouldn’t be able to love it and care for it like i’d want to or like it would deserve

@/ColbyBrock do you ever get annoyed of us?

hahah not in the slightest. but some of you can say some pretty mean things which i try to ignore now. no point of me giving that attention ya know ? love you all tho no matter what. say whatever you want

we love you colby and im sorry abt the mean people

it’s okay 🖤 90% of people are super nice and dope and that’s all that matters. comes with the job i guess

@/ColbyBrock are you answering questions for a youtube video but giving answers now and reading the reactions??

nope! sometimes it’s fun to just respond to as many people as i can. it’s been a while

@/ColbyBrock would you rather look at the stars or listen to the rain?

i like this. probably watch the stars with someone special

@/ColbyBrock what is your favorite thing to do on your free time? do you like to write? or anything?

believe it or not i’m kinda a loner .. i like to spend time by myself. usually just listening to music or watching dumb videos on YT

@/ColbyBrock if you could say something to your younger self, what would it be?

stop being so insecure kid , you’re okay

what's one thing we don't know about you? (or something like that)

i don’t have it all together like people think. every day is a journey to find myself, and that’s okay!

@/ColbyBrock I'm dying to know… Do you write poems?

maybe a lil here and there 🤐

@/ColbyBrock whats your advice when you’re in a kind of dark spot atm 🙈

take one step at a time. everyday needs to be a work in progress. or at least that’s what i’ve been trying lately

@/ColbyBrock did you dip

i’m about to , it’s getting late. love you all tho. was good talking

i wake up sad for no reason. why?

Dec. 21 - i think i’m gunna try to hibernate for the rest of the year i’ll let you know how it goes

Dec. 23 - i’m so much like my mom , we’re like the same person it’s weird

Really im more like my dad are u a dads boy or a moms boy for me i think ur a moms boy#loveyoucolby

definitelyyyy a mommas boy

Dec. 25 - i still sit at the kids table during christmas even though i’m almost 23 years old

Dec. 26 - you deserve the world !

Dec. 27 - sorry for your loss, im glad you’re ‘over it’.. it’s super interesting how people can choose when they wanna let go. shows you and teaches you a lot about the power of the human mind in my opinion (reply to fan)

i’m looking back at pictures of me in the trap house and damn i went through a chunky phase 🤣curse you taco bell

Dec. 28 - just watched a bunch of old VHS tapes of when i was only 1 year old .. life’s a trip i’m emotional

if i can help, that’s all i want

[en-ternity]

FLATLINE IS HERE AND I JUST WANNA CRY OMG. LETS GAUR~

“We have to head back,” Jake shouted. “Or else we are going to be late and Jungwon is going to be mad — I don’t like it when Jungwon is mad.”

lolol not the tiny leader being mad and we are all scared here! but i agree with jake! jungwon is scary haha

You had to blink a few times to get used to it, and only then you saw Sunhae, that Jungwon guy of hers, and his friends — the four of them focused on a dartboard poorly placed in one of the beams.

STOP! Not the dartboard jdksajdkal i am brought back to iland days when the boys played dart LMAO so cute T_T

“I am Heeseung,” he said, moving his gaze at Jake for a brief second before he turned back to you, smiling. “I don’t think I have something special to state.”

HAHAHAHAHAHA not the "smiling" when he looks back OOF boy is already flirting dhjhdjsakdhjska

When you didn’t oppose it, he used your connected hands to pull you to him, and suddenly he was so close and the air stuffy. He smelled like the summer nights, like the brisk breeze of the county, like peonies, but as well as the leather of his jacket, and something that you remembered from the day your father taught you how to drive, the smokey scent when you couldn’t pull the car up the hill and forced the engine to its maximum.

HELLO??? This is so beautifully written BYE

“To operate the tents, but the losing team should volunteer to wear the sheep costume and hand the flyers.”

NOT THE SHEEP COSTUME DHJASKDHAHAHAHA I SWEAR WE SAID BEAR COSTUME! IM WHEEZING

“Do the honors, princess,” he said, extending one of the darts.

EXCUSE ME? I didnt expect the nickname so soon. LORD

“It’s her turn,” Jake protested.

“The dart is in her hand,” Heeseung replied with mischief.

THE WAY I SNORTED LMFAO and my mans is napping from the anime con lolol im wheezing because i am brought back to our talks of possessive Jake dhjsakhdjakhahahahahahaha I CANT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY SORRY

“But if you ever decide to binge all the attractions of a carnival again, or if you feel like doing anything you couldn’t — I am here,” he said, reaching for the top of your head, his fingers threaded through your hair as he gave the same soft and quick pat he did on the night of the party.

i am crying. TEARS, ROLLING DOWN PAST MY CHEEKS LOL why would you do this to me. bye

Heeseung thought your expression was the cutest thing he had seen during his twenty-four years of living, there was a certain urge in him to make it disappear.

i can see him squeezing his eyes shut at how cute yn is. PLS crying some more as i continue read

It was the first time you had ever said his name, and it caught him off guard. Not only because of your accent, but coming from your lips, it sounded soft and slow, almost as if you had stolen it and made it all yours.

YUMI, STOP THIS RN! I AM CRYING ENOUGH! THIS IS SO CUTE T-T the way he observes her and listens to her dhjakshdjakjak im melting

“Come on,” one of the women behind said. “Take that box and give your boyfriend a thank you kiss.”

DEAD ASS LMFAOOOOO this is me asf!

“Can I drive you home?” he asked. “I promise I haven’t drank anything today.”

NO NEED TO ASK TWICE!

“I want to see you again,” he whispered.

“I want you to see me again too.”

A laugh escaped from his lips, unintentionally too happy as he reached for his phone on the console and handed it to you.

HAHAHA THIS IS FUNNY! I laughed hella loud and then covered my mouth, turned my head back to check on mans and make sure he's still sleeping lmao

This was a Heeseung you weren’t sure you knew who he was.

OOOOOFFFFF GIRL! SHE IS GONNA LEARN TODAY! but girl, it'll be okay. he raced into your heart anyways dhjaskdhak

He closed his eyes at the familiarity of the moment, but as soon as the darkness welcomed him, you were there again — burning like sunlight.

Heeseung knew this place well enough to not need to think before exchanging the gears, he just kept in mind he needed to come back faster than ever.

H E L L O?!?!?!?!?! I cannot say this enough. omg!!!! this is so well written, bish! my heart racing and telling heeseung to not be stupid! OH GOD i am praying for dude to hurry tf up and come back to yn lol

He couldn’t simply tell he thought you shone like a heart of gold.

I CLENCHED MY ASS AND HE DIDNT TELL HER THIS? Unclenching my ass and omw to beat him up BYE

You were already painfully beautiful like this, but the moment you smiled at him — something stirred and moved inside of him.

i need a break lmfao i am crying way too much! T_T yumi, there are just so much love and i am digging this a whole lot

“I am not letting you slip away tonight,” he whispered.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH IT'S THIS SCENE! WE MADE IT HERE! FUCK MY LIFE!! HELP??? HAHAHAHAHA T_T

You were so beautiful, he could die all day and every night just to miss you.

CRYINGCRYINGCRYING

“Heeseung!” His grandmother screamed, startling you. “Why there’s such a pretty girl asking for you at my front door?”

PWUAHAHAHAHHA I AM THE GRANDMA BYE

“But now that I am teaching you, he may leave me and go with you.” she finished, causing Heeseung to choke on the air.

LOL BISH! I SNORTED HELLA LOUD HHAHAHAHHAHAHAAH i cant with granny. shes the best

If the whole afternoon hadn’t been homey enough, this — this kiss had been.

please T_T they are both so homey, i wanna stay home forever

“I am very lucky,” Heeseung whispered. “About everyone I have in my life.”

“They are lucky to have you too.”

“Do you think so?”

“I am sure so,” you said, and you didn’t need to look at him to know he was smiling at it.

my mom and dad, PERIOD

Heeseung was already walking towards you, acting as if there was no one else in his eyesight.

bro is so in love, im in love with them lmao

“Go get a room in the name of lord,” someone screamed, so close it hadn’t left any doubt it was for you and Heeseung.

TBH! I HAVE GLASSES FOR A REASON TO PROTECT MY EYES. CAN WE NOT RIGHT NOW?!

“Sunghoon has been complaining about it,” your mother added. “Send him a message once in a while — the boy has been wondering about you.”

the devil has appeared. bye LMAO LEAVING FOREVER

Heeseung was well aware the piece was cheap, probably the cheapest suit you have ever touched, but still, you folded it with so much care before you placed it over a nearby couch — with so much care, he couldn’t come into peace about what he was supposed to do with himself.

it's being taken care of with so much care because she loves him. and like im getting so emotional over this because when you love someone, cheap or not, you are willing to care for them. and ugh ME CRYING SOME MORE

“Now, this is what I call a worth-it movie scene,” your grandma interrupted, making Heeseung step back. “Is this the infamous Lee Heeseung?”

NOT ME ALSO BEING THIS GRANDMA TOO HAHAHAHAAHA

“Sunghoon!” your father greeted.

I CHOKED

“I heard you have been obsessed with a disposable camera,” he said. “So I bought this while I was in Japan last week, I think something higher quality would be better.”

I CANT SCREAM, YUMI LMAO SO HERE I AM, COVERING MY MOUTH AS I SILENTLY SCREAM! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! i forgot we talked about this scene. oh my god, my ass AND my heart are clenched!

“You didn’t need to protect the camera so fiercely.”

“It wasn’t the camera,” you said, and he smiled down at you because he knew.

IM CRYING AGAIN! because ugh, they understand each other so much and i love them. i just love them so much T_T

“Was it?” you asked. “Great?”

“Wonderful,” he whispered.

MOM AND DAD, PLEASE! STOP BEING SO CUTE! I AM CRYING A RIVER OF RAINBOWS AND BUTTERFLIES!

“You are my downfall, but as well my saving, princess,” he whispered. “I hope you know it.”

I JUST FLEW OFF MY CHAIR! BYYYYYE! SEE YOU NEVER!!!!

“Yours,” he whispered.

“Early — when you were introducing me to your grandmother, you didn’t know what to title me,” he explained. “I am yours, no titles required.”

yumi hahahahaha you love making me cry, do you? how can hee say this RIGHT AFTER some love making. LET ME PROCESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED T-T i had to pause and cry ahahha this is so cute, wtf? hes such a lil bish! A SOFT BISH T-T

he wondered if the man ever wore anything that wasn’t dress pants and silk button-downs.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH I CANT STOP LAUGHING OMG IT WAS SERIOUS UP UNTIL I SAW THIS AHHAHA

she will forget this moment of charity

YOU USED THIS LMFAO I AM FUCKING LAUGHING! i didnt realize you would really use this line dgsahjdashahahahahahahaha

The cadence of his heart matched with yours. And it was so easy to believe you both are the only ones remaining in the world — so easy.

legit, mom and dad. hi. i am your child right here. fhajskdhjaskdhka T_T this is so pretty. i love them so much! i am going to protect them FOREVER

Heeseung would always wait for you.

i thought we agreed no major angst. you have taken the crown now lmao i am leaving

“Princess,” he called as soon as you picked up. “Have you looked at the moon tonight?”

me shaking and crying lmao i need a new tissue box frfr! YUMI, YOU SAID MY ANGST ARE MEAN. THIS IS MEANER! OMG

“I never got my architect license,” Heeseung said. “But if you tell me about your dream house, I can find you something.”

i remember us gushing over this scene and now im reading it and crying hahaha my emotions are all over the place and idk how to feel rn T_T

“I want to stay with you.”

“Then stay with me,” He whispered. “For as long as you want.”

they are so perfect. so FUCKING PERFECT. im gonna cry a wave of ocean haha

“You have been taking too much care of me, let me take care of you too,” he asked.

THIS IS ME FLYING OUT THE DOOR! BYE!

“Exactly — what if they tell you something that makes you want to leave me?” Heeseung asked, although there was a hint of entertainment in his voice, your answer was solemn.

stop it T_T he wasnt even joking either!!!! my heart breaks more and more for my bro man

“Don’t get me wrong, I loved having you in my car, and the shower, but having you here — all pretty on my bed, I will take my time with you.”

ME CRYING AND SCREAMING IN SILENT HELLO?! I WAS NOT READY FOR THIS PART! OH MY GOD. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH I NEED TO PAUSE AGAIN OH LORD HAVE MERCY ON ME!

“We should listen to what the youth has to say,” she smiled.

AHEM! Again, i am the grannies lmao

“Please, no sir — we are all family here.”

SHIP ME TO DELULU LAND RIGHT FUCKING NOW OMFG

OKAY I AM DONE. i cried, i laughed, and i cried again ahah i screamed for a little bit, but i was able to hold my composure again. idk how many times i changed the music to fit the mood. everything was beautiful. absolutely beautiful. ignore my commentary in our DMs hahahahaahahha THESE ARE THE REAL ONES. I couldnt stop picturing everything that heeseung was seeing and doing when he's with yn. i felt all the emotions of love in here and oh my god, LET ME GO CRY AGAIN HAHAHA

p.s. the mole tracing scene could've still been added at the end BUT ITS OKAY LMAO i can wait for that extra scene :P

I LOVE YOU MY SOUL SISTER!

I AM CRYING! I JUST CAN’T WITH YOU! This story is so long that I didn’t expect you to do your long reviews but here we are 🥹

The story wouldn’t have come to life without you, seriously, if you weren’t here to listen to every stupid question, every stupid doubt, and mental breakdown, I wouldn’t have had the courage to finish it (and I wouldn’t have made Sunghoon so hateable) so thank you so much for your help (ever since January!) and this review ♥️

I can really picture you as the grannies lol they were the best and so funny just like you! I LOVE YOU!

[eightmakar]

Girl omg tell us that story!!! How did u go from 1st kiss to virginity losing in one day

omg hi yes so im 25 and have been wanting to kiss someone/lose my virginity for a while, I had been considering asking one of my close friends who I trust

so !!!! I matched with this boy on tinder, we’ll call him A. hit it off with A immediately, he wanted to do some sexual exploration too, so I was like alright here’s the deal and told him everything, and he was also down to at least have a chat

he added me on snap and sent me pictures of himself (his profile didn’t have pics, but for a reason lol) and I was like holy shit you are so fucking handsome, mans was exactly my type: tall, goofy, golden retriever boy

he called me Thursday night and Friday night and we have so much in common, and he jokingly kept proposing to me in our convos. for example, we both love cooking, and he said “I really want a pasta machine” and I said “I have a pasta machine!” and he said “do you…wanna get married?” he also thought it was hot that I’m a big nerd and play dungeons and dragons and love marvel and he REALLY wanted to have sex with me, and I felt super safe and respected

we made a plan for me to go over to his house and like….he asked if he should get condoms and I said yes and even though I made sure he understood there wasn’t a guarantee, which he was okay with, I knew I was going over there to have sex with him lmao

so i got there, he immediately started kissing me (like he said he was going to and I was aware and okay with that). i did get nervous and like, paused him for a second, i was shaking and i showed him and he just gave me my space and asked if I wanted to go to the bedroom instead and I was like yeah let’s go

we went back and long story short i sucked his dick (which was fun as fuck?? hello?? the noises he made???) and then we had sex lmao. he needed a break (he has hypertension and it had been a while) and I did too so we cuddled and then he looked at his phone and had three missed calls from a friend of his that is currently not doing well, so he went to call him back. we had planned to spend the whole afternoon and evening together and possibly even me spend the night at his place, but I had to leave after an hour and a half of being there because he was convinced his friend had hurt himself (he started drinking and stopped texting A) and A was pacing around his apartment freaking out and was super apologetic to me and promised he wanted to see me again, he assured me he didn’t do hookups either and that he still liked me and all that. he also said he was compartmentalizing some trauma from his ex (he said “my ex messed me up and I thought I was more ready than I was”) but he said it wasn’t about me and he wanted to see me again, and I said I just needed some extra reminders and he gave them to me and I was very appreciative. he walked me to my car and said to plan for the middle of the week, but that’s the last time I heard from him :(

i haven’t heard from him since April 29th which was the day of our date, I’ve tried to text and call, and I’m really upset about it because I really thought we had a connection, we talked a bunch about future dates and so I’m not sure what changed, but I’m hopeful that it’s just that he’s out of emotional bandwidth and he’ll get back to me when he can. it’s almost been 2 weeks and a lot of people have told me to drop it and move on, but i have a gut feeling to give him time and that he’s going through some shit and he needs to work through it before he tries to go out with me again. he was so understanding and considerate with me about everything, he listened and was kind about my anxiety, and he opened up to me too, like he really liked me and trusted me and so I’m like, very hopeful that he’s gonna come around and like, if I had all that going on, i would want someone to be patient and kind with me too.

so yeah, that’s what you missed on glee and how I got my first kiss and lost my virginity in the same day

[23meteorstreet]

1 to 5 :)

1. how did you get into the show?

i heard about it back in like 2013 bc a yt channel I liked made references to it all the time but initially i was kinda scared to watch it bc I heard there was some offensive stuff and wasn't sure if that was my thing. then a few years later i was on a spring break trip w/ my high school and some ppl started talking about mac and dennis: manhunters for some reason?? and that made me so curious about it that I started pirating it a few days later lol

that being said... i didn't actually get into the show at that point. I got to about the first ep of season 2 and then just stopped bc even tho it was super funny I couldn't really connect with the characters and some of the satire felt a little too accurate to me. but from 2017 to like... may-ish of last year I watched a few eps here and there and made it to the beginning of season 3.

in october I was going thu a bit of an existential crisis (im mostly good now) and was looking for something funny to watch that hopefully wouldn’t suck up too much of my time (LMAOOO) and found it in my continue watching section on hulu and thought “this’ll be perfect bc i’ll probably just watch a season or so and then turn it off again”. yeah, that didn’t happen. (of course it probably helped that i’d watched i want you back earlier that year and realized i had a massive crush on charlie lol)

2. who’s your favorite character and why? (has your fav changed since you started watching the show?)

like i said in the last question it took me a while to pick a favorite but i literally caught one glimpse of charlie day’s freckles in i want you back and became obsessed with him & every character he’s ever played forever. aside from being super fucking adorable tho i genuinely think he’s the funniest character in the show. he has sooo many iconic moments and i love that he’s silly but also very capable like in charlie work :) also i really enjoy that he’s generally the “nice” one but he can also be very evil & feral at times. basically i like how complex he is lol. i just wanna wrap him in a blanket and feed him some spaghetti <3

3. what are your top 3 favorite episodes?

this is so fucking hard but here’s 3 off the top of my head:

the aluminum monster vs. fatty magoo : this is the one that made me finally get into the show! i loved that the characters were terrible to the point of absurdity. dennis putting on the dress was such an unforgettable moment & i feel like this ep is when they really found him as a character. charlie’s plot in this is also great, i love how he’ll end up in the most bizarre situation and just adapt to it (and the part where he's fantasizing about the drawing was... interesting to say the least lol). also any episode written by glenn & charlie is fucking iconic

the gang goes on family fight: this is just such a comfort ep tbh. family feud is always fun/funny and i love when the gang actually gets along. dennis’s freakout at the end was also super funny & relatable

the gang goes to hell part 2: after getting to know the characters for so many seasons, watching them almost die was strangely cathartic lol. it just felt like a love letter to the gang’s friendship, & it makes me think about how i’m so attached to these terrible fictional people. i could probably write a whole essay on this ep tbh. also the imaginary dinner scene is so funny to me, i love how much they get into it. 

also an honorable mention to charlie rules the world: charlie looks hot af in this episode (obviously) plus i love video game related eps in any show lol. It’s a fun ep to try to analyze charlie as a character, and i love that dennis just goes completely off the rails. 

4. name a song that reminds you of your favorite character

this is so hard bc all the songs on my sunny playlist are for ships/the whole gang… gonna go with leave me alone - fidlar bc of that one fancam plus i was listening to them earlier lol (ps. if anyone has any good charlie songs pls send them to me!!)

5. do you ship anything?

in no particular order: macdennis, charden, charmac, charmacden, deetress, chartemis, artemis/waitress (pretty sure i made this one up lol), charlie/scientist… i think that’s it? my fave are probably charmac, macdennis, charmacden, and deetress tho

[starlooove]

Batfam and their fave Jem characters:

Ok first Im gonna split it into the batfam and who their fave member of the holograms would be, and then I’m gonna split into fave character overall.

Alfred-Aja: OK HEAR ME OUT: I think that he’d appreciate Aja’s tough but polite thing going on. She’s never rlly the first to start a fight but she’s also not soft on others and will call bullshit out when she sees it. From what I can remember she’s a very stable presence in the group, if not the rock of it, and I think he’d like that l.

Bruce-Jem: Listen I KNOW it’s cliche but c’mon?? The double identity, the relationship issues, the dead parents; it all hits for him. And the plane episode made him break into full blown out sobs. I think his fave songs would be can’t get my love together and everybody wears a mask.

Dick-Shana: I think Shana would be Dick’s favorite because of her arc where she left the band to pursue her career. I think the fact that she WAS jealous of the new drummer but her feelings were validated and still loved her new profession and found a way to do both in a way that benefited her with the help of her friends would make him ugly cry. His fave songs would prolly be Like a Dream and I believe in Happy endings.

Jason-Roxy: The reading episode could honestly say it all, but I also think the way Roxy IS insecure in the Misfits and defends her place with the “I deserve it I’m a REAL misfit” attitude when Jetta is introduced would hit him hard. His fave songs would prolly be it takes a lot, nightmare, and congratulations.

Cass-Stormer: LISTEN LISTEN I think she’d enjoy how Stormer is kind and ultimately acts for the greater good but is still very much a misfit at heart. Even in the breaking of the bands, Stormer goes for an insult first and makes her demands to the misfits and she’s absolutely firm with it. Her leaving in the first place was out of love and respect for herself. I also think she’d like Pizzaz’s attitude lol. Her fave songs would be who is he kissing, midsommers night madness, and making mischief.

Steph-Jetta: Her parents were absolutely shitty to her and she came out strong. Whenever she was disrespected she actually swung (even physically in her debut) back 10X harder. Roxy questioned her spot on the team and Jetta was ready to defend it immediately, despite her just getting it. She was a misfit and she knew it, Fuck what anyone else says even if it’s a senior misfit. I think Steph would actually admire that attitude and she’d wish she could’ve channeled it when Bruce and Tim were being absolute assholes to her. Like even though she did talk back she still Bruce be the ultimate authority and took what tim said to heart and Jetta would never take it lying down. She hates clash bc of her desperate attitude and a small part of her mind feels like everyone thinks that’s her. She’s right (that they think that) and it’s terrible :( Her fave songs would be I am a giant, there aint nobody better, and take a hike Jack.

Tim- Pizzazz: LISTEN! I think it’s be another admiration thing. I thing he’d really fuck with her attitude and the way she’s not afraid to take what she believes is hers? Like not in an evil way or whatever but he was rolling his eyes whenever the Holograms just so happened to get offered XYZ for being in the right place at the right time. The misfits are lowk right! Sometimes you have to set things in motion for yourself and if that requires a little bit of murderous intent…so? Seriously tho I think he’d relate to her issues with her dad but I also think he wouldnt take it that seriously. Like pre Jack trying to connect with him more, I don’t think he took the absence that deep so when he sees pizzazz it’s more of “look at u doing all this and u don’t even fw horses I’d take the money tbh 🙄” the entire family is sideyeing tf outta him. His fave songs would be scandal, gimme a gimmick, and there’s a melody playing.

Duke-Raya/Jetta; NOT JUST BC THEYRE NEW I think he’d find raya’d relationship with her dad super sweet and he’d relate to how she felt being the new kid on the block. Stuff like when she first fully interacted with the misfits and didn’t really get the big history between them and the holograms, or other moments where past stories are talked about that she doesn’t fully get would prolly hit hard. I think the scene where she realized Jem was Jerrica and was terrified but also completely willing to help hide her secret immediately just screams Duke finding out about Bruce and Batman. And he thought it was funny when she ripped the flower out of Jetta’s hair. Speaking of I think his would be less of an admiration thing with Steph and more if ‘she is me’ thing. Like idk Duke being an awful flirt and getting into a fistfight is screaming equal opposite to Jetta lying about being royalty like honestly it’s less that he likes Jetta and more that he knows she’s him and he’s her and they’re eachother. fave songs would be who is he kissing, I like your style, and it could be you.

Damian-Minx: LISTEN! I think he’d relate to Pizzazz a lot but as much as I hate to say it, Pizazz’s very valid feelings about her father and his lack of relationship with her were very much played as a joke in the show and I think Damian would feel pathetic for relating to her like that. Like I think post therapy Damian would openly love pizzazz but for now? Minx. The thing with the Minx is that she TRIED the whole being nice thing and nobody believed her. They thought it was weird or fake and only started to trust her later on. But that’s not the appeal of it, the appeal is that Minx went back to being bitchy and had a real support group there. It’s not that Damian wants to be the way he was, God forbid, but the fact that she did and had people who not only accepted her but were ecstatic to have her back? The fact that they weren’t glad she ‘reverted’ because they wanted to use her for anything but because she was their friend and they knew her? He ugly cries about it to this day. His fave songs would be who is she, destiny, and get outta my way.

[chowonsang]

i meant to reply days ago on my post and only got reminded cuz your video BUT yes I was at the chicago concert!!! I also saw people saying it was dead and I was like huh what concert are you at it's almost Too loud.. also your video of d1 <3 he deserves the world he's so sweet. I read thru some of your poets, you gave the key rings at the fansign? How'd that go? also did you do any snapshots? rly I just want to hear someone else also gush/rant happily about their time hehe

its under the read more bc this just turned into word vomit bc i miss and love them so fucking much

I WANTED TO DO SNAPSHOTS SO BAD but i alread spent over 300 on the trip (tickets themselves + hotel room + gas to get there) so i couldnt buy them BUT when i gave them all the keyrings they were sooooo sweet about it and looked so surprised that i was giving them something that wasnt a letter ToT

changmin said it was pretty and dongil said that the picture i used was cute (one side was them after they debuted and the other were the pics of them when they were kids that they posted for childrens day). my hands were shaking A Lot and almost every member held my hand when i gave them the keychains telling me i shouldnt be nervous. they looked genuinely worried and i dont blame them bc i felt like i was gonna pass out (and i started crying afterword afshbkdj) and i think they recognized me when i went back back up to do the high five + group photo bc changmin asked me if i was okay now TT (tho to be fair having bright purple hair + giving them a gift + on the verge of tears/passing out + being one of the only ppl to talk to them in korean might have contributed to that...)

also maknae line were sosososo sweet and cute. i told junseo that hes really pretty and he looked so surprised and asked 'really?' and all i could do was say yes bc the staff were starting to get upset that i was taking .5 seconds longer than i should have (even tho DKB were the ones holding my hands what did they want me to do snatch my hand away? afjshk). yuku had the brightest smile and harry june asked if i was nervous and when i told him yes he looked so worried and said 'dont be nervous!'

when we did the group photo all in was playing and me and the girl next to me started dancing and singing along before the photo and heechan turned around in surprise as if us knowing the song was a shock afhsbk but he looked so happy so see us vibing with the song and he started dancing in his seat too it was cute

also like. i dont know how to describe it but they are soooo attractive in person. photos dont do any of them justice at all. im sure u saw bc u did snapshots with some of them lol but junseo.... god i just want to tell him how handsome he is that he shouldnt listen to those ppl who tell him otherwise and that we will love him no matter what... iirc him and changmin were the only members taller than me but to be 100% honest i was too focused on not bawling my eyes out in front of them to notice much on that front lol (but i do remember yuku and lune being so tiny and cute and all of their hands were smaller than mine ashkj)

i wish i had more time to talk to them to tell them how amazing and talented they are and how proud bbs are of them but the staff were really pushy with trying to get the fansign line moving. i get it, there were a lot of us, but a guy can dream. even though the time was short they really tried their best to comfort me in the time we did have and that meant a lot <3

ALSO slightly off topic but the main reason i was close to passing out was bc of how hot the venue was while waiting for the fansign. i was sweating so bad before during and after the concert so i got some water from the bar (four fucking dollars 😒) and i talked to the bartenders for a bit. according to them, the boys were super nice and sweet and like. ofc as bbs we think that the boys are kind but hearing from someone that has no emotional connection to them and interacts with hundreds of celebrities throughout the year that dkb are sweet boys... it just.. its nice. its nice to see that theyre kind to people who are outside of the fandom bc sadly thats not the norm for every group

[slowdripsunrise]

MORE READING UPDATES OMLLLLLLL i forgor about this blog again. it will happen again tbh but i still have to go through all of the books i finished in late 2023 up to now... i'm gonna try and get as many as i can done but probably wont get all of them lol. probably very long post/rant + spoilers for various books under the cut

keep in mind i have shit memory and all of these books were finished a while ago so be warned for bad analysis and summaries

-How High We Go in the Dark by Sequoia Nagamatsu: this book was a collection of short stories that are interconnected through characters and a central storyline - a plague. i thought the concept was super interesting and i had heard really good things about it from people i share a reading taste with so i went into this expecting to be blown away and i just. wasnt. i LOVED some of the short stories and there were a few that made me cry, mainly snortorious and the robot dog story where the mom died, but other than that it was kinda a let down. the ending fucking sucked ngl. like i thought we were leading up to some profound moment, especially calling back to the chapter where people are relieving their memories in the dark, because i thought that was really compelling and interesting, but it was just fucking aliens. like it reallly feels like a cop out to me. like a whole "and it was all just a dream" type ending. im not gonna rate it actually yes i am i'd give it like 2.5-3 stars. only because some of the chapters were super hard hitting but other than that. meh.

-The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater: WHOOOOO BOY. i ate this shit up. god if i had read this in middle school or high school i am 100% certain it would have become my entire personality. like i fucking get it. i totally fucking get it. i'm treating the whole series as one book rn bc they all kinda blend together in my mind and its been a while but just. the fucking vibes. good lord the vibes were so good. can't pick out any 100% certain things i particularly noticed but i will reblog every webweave about this series there is trust. rating the entire series as 5 stars mostly because i listened to the audiobook and they did SUCH A GOOD JOB ON TH E AUDIOBOOK OML like. at first i was kinda thrown off bc i wasn't expecting it to be so. southern? but once i finished the first one i knew there was no way i could just go back to reading it with a physical book like audiobook all the way the narrator was so awesome and i love the southernness of it.

-What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher: my first t. kingfisher book! i loved the vibes, the world, the whole new set of pronouns, that shit was so fun, overall a nice short and sweet creepy ass fucking book. like im a huge wimp so i was deffo nervous and freaked out at some points, especially with the rabbits lol idk why but those were unnerving. the author did a really good job of conveying the mc's anxiety and fear while also adding in some humor and soldier rationality and stoicism. lol. cute i liked it 3.5/4 stars.

-Fault Lines by Emily Itami: tbh mostly picked this one up for the cover and it was really just a standard cheating story where the mc gets back together with her original husband because of their kids. nothing i remember to be groundbreaking at all really. 2.5 stars

-Olga Dies Dreaming by Xochitl Gonzalez: I really wasn't expecting to like this book as much as I did. the pov changes i think were very well done and intentional and weren't confusing at all! the narrators for the audiobook were wonderful and really brought life to the story, a lovely book.

-She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan: honestly, looking back on it, i was never really captivated by this story. it took me a long time to get into it, and i really never connected with any of the characters. a lot of it was more confusing than not, and i'm honestly not sure if i feel the need to continue the series. may be a case of me not being in the right mood for it, but i don't see myself trying it again. kinda sad cuz i was excited to love this but oh well. win some lose some.

-Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr: hands down my fav book of 2023 and one of my fav books of all time. like i have a feeling this review is going to be either very long or very short because there is no way i will be able to write out all the ways i love this book. the owl motif. the environmental extremism from seymore that i can 100% relate to. the way that he fell down that path in a way that felt realistic to me, based on his circumstances, and it isn't implied in my opinion, that all autistic people are like this, that all autistic people can take things to the extreme like seymore did. the audiobook was wonderful. the interconnected stories over time i think is one of my new favorite tropes/plots/metas. if done well (cough how high we go in the dark) it gets me every single time. XENO and everything about him. i was listening to the audiobook at work and during his death i had to fight back tears lol. god. and the kids in the play and how they wanted to end the story.... fuck my life. and konstance and her curiosity and oh my god everything about this book messed me up. 5/5 i think thats all i'll be able to say before i combust.

-Chlorine by Jade Song: what a weird little book. really liked it. audiobook slayed. not much else to say. recommend for weird lesbians. 3.5/4 stars.

-A Dowry of Blood by S. T. Gibson: THE AUDIOBOOK NARRATOR IS SO FUCKING GOOD AT HER JOB I COULD LISTEN TO HER TALK ALL DAY I THINK IM IN LOVE WITH HER. the story was really good love a good vampire story love a good creepy story. fun time. listened to the audiobook in like an hour hour and a half car ride it was a good time. 3.5 stars.

and that ends off all of the books i read in 2023 !!!!!!! YIPPEEE!!!!! i'll stop here and make a separate post for the books i've read so far in 2024 just for organizational purposes and also because i am hungry and need to stop lol. if you made it this far through the post i love you and also sorry for the long rant but also too bad because this is my blog and you clicked on it. happy reading :)