#im gonna keep acting like things are okay though bc idk what else to do fjfkfl

[piplupod]

now why the hell is that what the brain decided to do !!!!!

[kaisfruit]

Hiiii loved your first first about kai!

Could I request a one shot or headcanon about each of the ninja and how they would pleasure a fem!reader pls?

How they pleasure you | All ninja x fem!reader headcanons

a/n: omg tysm for my first ask <3 this is like,,one of the few times ive ever written nsfw so!! i hope its okay :3 also im gonna leave out lloyd cuz ik technically he's an adult but idk it's still a bit weird imo warnings: nsfw under the cut (duh),cunnilingus (cole, zane, nya) , slight size kink mention in cole's part, degradation in kai's part, inappropriate usage of elemental ability (jay), umm thats all i can think of im srry if i missed anything ^^

Cole

Ugh idec he's a big guy. is that a collective hc that the whole fandom can agree on? i think so

def uses that size to his advantage when y'all are alone together

I'm talking like MANHANDLING

only if u ask tho cuz cmon we all know he is such a caring guy he would always take your wants and boundaries into account

okay, my horrible down bad size kink out of the way-

mans has a big appetite (wink wink)

goes down on you like no other. like, he treats your pussy like it's breakfast, lunch, dinner, AND DESSERT babes

there would be no breaks with him. i cant say this enough, but he is eating you out like a man starved

overstimulation bound to happen srry i dont make the rules

he would NOT ask for anything in return

this man is the biggest giver when it comes to sex oh my lorddd

you're in charge but like he is if you know what i mean?

like he does what he knows you love, but on his own terms

ur in the bed and he's just instantly pinning you down yk using that strength of his, spreading your legs as far as the can go, and boom diving in head first

srry i could fill up like 3 posts of just cole eating you out im that passionate abt this topic

Kai

Plays with your pleasure like it's a damn toy

This man is the biggest tease ever

Though, his teasing does lean a bit towards minor body worshipping bc he's just everywhere

Marking you up with hickeys wherever he can get his damn mouth

Hands? can barely keep track of their movements. One second they're playing with your tits the next he's two fingers deep in your pussy

Let's just say he's taking his time here just to make the actual sex feel absolutely amazing on your end

But rlly it gets him going seeing you all whiny beneath him at his never ending touches

it's a win-win if you think about it

THAT DAMN MOUTH.

kai is not the guy for u if ur not down for a bit of degradation because DAMN

he has to come second place to jay in the yapping awards bc he's always saying smthn during the act

he pays attention though. listens or feels your reactions to every filthy thing he whispers to you.

absolutely ruins u for anyone else. gl w this man yall <3

Zane

He is so damn PRECISE??

Like, how does he know exactly how to touch you in that spot in order to get that reaction?

LOVES i mean like absolutely LOVES fingering you

being able to watch you come undone on just his fingers? god it is everything to him

will also add his tongue into the mix bc even tho hes a robot he cannot get enough of ur taste

just so calculated w every movement

bro made sex into a science 😭😭

tells you how good you're doing for him, how perfect you look, etc.

loves praising you bc it's the honest truth of how he feels about you

tbh 50% of the pleasure he gives u is from the pure love u can feel with every slight touch, every kiss, everything

soft dom vibes iykwim

REFUSES to even try to get himself off if he hasnt attended to you first

also an extreme giver like

he would get rid of entire body parts if it meant making u feel even better during sex

okay thats hyperbole but like

this nindroid has so much love in his robot heart for u and he needs u to KNOWWWW

Nya

A GIRL'S GIRL U ALREADY KNOW WHAT IT IS

she has all of these boys BEAT when it comes to pleasuring u bc of her same gender advantage

her head will stay in between your legs until you are absolutely SCREAMING her name

that fact fills her with immense amounts of pride btw

i see her as giving u a good mix of gentle and rough touches that like come together to make the most intense feeling ever??? if that makes sense

she's so good w her mouth like,,,everywhere

her favorite place to have her mouth is on ur pussy ofc, but she could also give a vampire a run for their money with how attached to ur neck she is

marks litter your neck

she's so good at finding that one little sweet spot that makes your body squirm

tends to multitask as well

like if she's currently a knuckle deep in your hole then you can also probably find her mouth licking and sucking at one of your nipples

everything she does to you is just so confusing in the best way possible

Jay

everything with him is just so fast-paced

he barely gives you any time to catch your breath in between anything

just one thing after another with jay

it mostly comes from his overzealous nature

your body makes him feel like a kid in a candy store im not even gonna lie. there's so much he could be doing he doesn't even know where to start

constantly talking. what did you expect from the motormouth himself?

half of it's mumbles of how gorgeous or how breathtaking you are and the other half is just downright filthy

honestly that second part would be such a turn on cuz u wouldn't have expected it from jay

the first time he used his element on you it was an accident

he didn't even realized it happened at first. he felt you jolt at the sensation and his first instinct was to apologize instantly, but he never even had a chance as he felt how you clenched down on his fingers and the moan u let out would forever be ingrained in his brain

from that point on, he's constantly looking for the best opportunity to let the smallest current just give a little tingle to your skin

jay really knows how to keep things interesting <3

[beeben]

Wish the day ( the twilight/night time part) lasted longer ( i mean extra hours not get dark sooner) so i could have more time to myself.

I don't get an ounce of privacy until everyone is asleep and I cant stay up as late as i used to bc i start work so early. I really cannot stand it here lol this is turning into it vent post cus ive been having a really bad time lately and when i try talking about it everyone just goes "well i feel the same way but i just put up with it" i dont want to put up with it anymore i hate most of my family i hate my house i hate my life no i dont feel spoiled im always out of money because i have to pay for everyone's shit because my dad is an idiot whos been chasing a spot in football hall of fame since he was 12 even though now hes 50 and 300 pounds and cant hold a job more then than a year because he picks fights with people and is a bigot trying to work with mostly black people. Like it's fucking ridiculous i live in a fucking fantasy world where people think im crazy for saying things aren't okay. Maybe I am suicidal what then? I get an eye roll i get "everyone is suicidal im suicidal too" like? And we're supposed to be okay with that? Ive had such a shit month man idk i have to meet up with the hr people at work tomorrow idk if im traumatized or something im like terrified they're gonna spin some shit around and get me fired man im literally so sick and tired of people walking all over me i honestly don't care if i come off as an asshole anymore i deserve a little self importance idk why its such a shocking thing. I stayed over at my boyfriend's house the other night and people acted like i burnt a building down saying how out of character it was for me cus hes a man what the fuck ever. I don't even give a shit at this point he could've assaulted me and i would've come back just to spite them. Idk where im going with this im pissed off and i dont have anybody to tell because they either heard it already or would leave if i said anything. Nobody gives a shit and i don't mean shit and if i do mean shit to somebody they assume im normal like them and im not i feel like such a piece of garbage and i live with a bunch of idiot slobs who keep me on a leash so they have an extra wallet to use when getting school supplies or whatever else my dad refuses to pay for or as a fucking unpaid therapist when he abuses them and they feel sad about it :'(. Im really worthless lol i kinda just wish someone was honest and said it to my face instead of acting like its fine and everyone feels this way cus i know it's not and i know its not normal. I was born to be an accessory in my dads life to make him look more virtuous in the eyes of the church. My mom would've been better off if she had miscarried and he divorced her for being infertile or something at least then shed have a fucking life to live. This is ridiculous.

[emleeeeeeeeee]

chaps 500-501 sorry im late guys

okay so first thing even though it might be obvious i feel like vin and taejin have had such a parallel life if that makes sense? like obviously taejin was bought up with everything and anything that he wanted (and taught that everything was his) and we did see at the start that he was decently kind(?) to vin as a child, but only bc he viewed vin as his property. we do see this like attitude start changing as he grows up tho, where he doesnt see the need to treat his 'property' aka other ppl well anymore (rip sujin) and really just takes what he wants from them. he also really just wants everything to be his at this point, as seen when he's like excited at his father's death bc it means that he has more power. so vin has obviously had like a very traumatic childhood, but somehow vin and taejins lives still seem very in parallel

especially in that scene bc its like showing their attachment(idk how else to describe it) to cheonliang, but for starkly different reasons. wait more like how they're both fighting for cheonliang, but while vin(and the other ppl sry idk what theyre called) are fighting purely for the memory of sujin and seongji(rip), taejin is fighting so that he can claim it as his AS SEEN WHEN THE LITTLE BITCH SHOWS UP WHEN THEYRE DECIDING THE LEADER.

OMG THE DISRESPECT I CANT. I WANT TO PUT HIM INTO A FUCKING MEAT GRINDER. (writing this i have to keep reminding myself that the way he acts is a result of his upbringing BUT STILL DOES NOT JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS RIUGSDFHJKNXMCSDFJKX)

YES VIN I SUPPORT YOU PULL THAT BITCH APART

okay ive literally never hated goo more than in this moment. like yes i knew he was a fucking psychopath that didnt care abt anyone other than himself but ykkkkkkk i was hoping it wouldnt apply to characters that i cared abt??(this is how im going to get into a toxic relationship and end up on a true crime podcast)

behold the queen herself mary kim. also possibly the best female character ptj has written imo (maybe zoe as well)

OMG THE TANGHULU BOUQUET ISTG ONE OF THESE DAYS I WILL MAKE TANGHULU THEN MAKE A BOUQUET AND GIVE SEONGJI A FUNERAL (help i think im getting too obsessed i have work to do and im here doing this)

OUR FRESHLY GLOWED UP MC IS BACKKKK. i honestly cant tell if its his new or old body at this point someone pls tell me its not just me

thats a bit interesting. i still think that goo is going to be the one to die (but im not as attached to him anymore cuz otherwise taejin would be dead IF NOT FOR HIM) but gun definitely looks kinda depressed in this frame after the whole yk chaps 479-480 soooo idk whats gonna happen. even tho chap 502 is out im just gonna finish my work first and get back to you guys. but cheonliang arc finally ended!!!! and now we hopefully get to see jake kims brother who is like fiiinnneeeee (and a cannibal but whatever im colourblind i dont see red flags)lmao i love how this post just started with like an essay opening and dissolved into shitposting. anyways love you guys prob gonna post again sooooonnnn <33333

[lokilysolbitch]

my roommate/childhood friend is doing this weird thing so basically one day they're like hey we're thinking (we meaning this roommate and the other roommate) about moving to this state like all of us, how do u feel about that" and i'm like "yeah i'd go". then a later date theyre like "actually we thought about it and that wouldn't work for us so we're thinking about this other state, how do u feel about coming with" and i'm like "yeah that works w me" and they're like "okay cool. and then on a later date theyre like "actually that place won't work either what about this state". i'm like "oh actually i don't like that for personal reasons and other reasons outside of myself". this roommate is like "oh well. we only like this spot." im like "idk it just wouldn't work for me" and they're like "okay but like this place technically isn't even like connected to ur issues with it it's kind of separate". i'm like "it's still pretty close and i'm not comfortable with it". theyre like "well where are you gonna go if you don't move with us" im like "idk yet i'll have to figure it out" they're like "okay well let me know if u wanna move there later or not" im like "okay" (also i think i got gaslit here into just thinking i'm paranoid bc the place is like. very closely connected to my issues with it. im being reasonable. i was convinced for months i was actually being paranoid but thinking about it now im like no actually it's really fucking close and i have really valid concerns???? also why is it when they had issues with a state they found somewhere else but when i had an issue suddenly it's "well it's not even That bad though and we wanna move there so🤷‍♀️". anyways)

later they're like "so what are you thinking about place" and i'm like "same feelings as before, it's not lookin good". they're like "well we really wanna move there. so let me know at some point"

okay so now we're caught up. recently as in like the past one or two weeks. they keep? acting like i said i was gonna move with them. like i'll be getting something at the store and i'll be like "this is always so hard to find they're never in stock lol" and theyll be like "yeah i wonder if it'll be even harder to find in [spot they plan to move to] so maybe you should think about that" motherfucker what?????????? i never fucking said--

i. idk. like i swear to got every time i open my eyes i see something that's like "i'm being manipulated by my partner who does ____" and i'm like Oh my roommate does that. i read a book and the bad guy does _____ and i'm like Oh. my roommate does that. i saw a video today on boundaries. it was like if someone treats your boundaries like this and this and this repeatedly, get out of there. i'm like. oh. my roommate. does that. oh my childhood best friend does that. oh my friend i've known for 16 years. does. that. i'm starting to think them moving away might be a blessing in disguise.

i'll be okay tho bc the gods put a PRETTY LADY in a SUIT dancing to MOVE. BY TAEMIN. ON MY FYP HALLELUJAH GOD BLESS I WILL BE A OKAY LIVE LAUGH LOVE LESBIAN IM CURED IN THE NAME LF JESUS CHRIST 🙌🙌🙌

[wewfimapuppie]

idk if i am protecting myself in any way here. but this is my final log.

i am going to have to take the message at face value. i saw the wkrd frighgebed and scared and idk how he perceived what i was doing. i felt like fuck it yknow i might be wrong but this is how its going for me. i felt it was the best thing to do? idk i def said weird shit.

theres no way around it this time. i went manic. i lost my shit. i imagined all that. i scared him.

to me it felt so real dude. so real. it felt like crazg things were happening to me. and i dont have a good support system so idk haha. i hated taking pills. i felt so awful. so i just wanna rely on God for now. and therapy. i'll find a way.

i'll also lay low. wear a black face mask. sunglasses. black beanie. on my way to work and way out. no one will know its me. i'll change and wear a dif sweater and bring a dif jacket yknow i even wanna dye my tips orange like. i feel so embarrassed and i dont wanna see him or have amyone that knows see me. im hiding. im scared. im disappearing. i will just work, head to Tijuana, get uber eats on fridays and some white claws or adjacent when we get comfy. and we dont talk to anyone except maricruz and our coworkwers yknow. stay vigiliant. i rather you dont talk to anyone anymore. we can make friends some other way.

i rather we focus on paying off our debt. and we drop this. we are at a point where we are questioning a text he sent us. we cant do that......

i rather like i said, we lay low, no attention towards ourselves and we wear a mask and domt do shows we are an online act idk. i wanted to be like yahoo lets do shkws z and this happened instead? i went manic? so idk i need to just dont interact w ppl like natasha i look stupid and crazy i have no supplrt to tell me um this is mania.

i can still paint, i can still sell, i can still make music even. but i cant expand or be public in san diego nah nope. i dont ever wanna see him or anyone. this is embarrassssing dude.

lets jjst keep it simple. food. paint. youtube. spotify. cookies and weed. some alcohol. lets just chill yknow? like back to the status quo? but this time we start fresh i guess. but for rn i rather be alone lmao. i feel cringe.

hopefully i can just focus on the job and getting my life together. thats all i can do. ni modo yknow? what else can i do? stay stuck on this? lets just move on. and focus on keeping ourselves afloat. safe. we will be okay. i still want to pray.

the last thing i'll say though is idk why he said that he blocked me bc i sent him noods when

1. he hearted them

2. he djdnt blkck me

3. i blocked him that time

4. i didnt sent him noods this time?

also i specifically have not mentioned his name jjst ryan and my complaints are like... justified?

so my theories on that is...

1. that... wasnt him...

2. he is like.... a psychopath and it isnt even me!! to twist it. make me feel like i went crazy??

3. hes saying a lie to cover why he really blocked me and its i seem crazy.

its just weird he said 2 wrong things. that i ever falked shit abt him and that i sent nudes now kr that he bloxked me when i did it 3 years ago? like he has reason to say jt was fhe Gkd stuff....

he also just ignored anything i said. about the holy ghost stuff. he didnt talk about God at all. the message was like in broken english it was weird. maybe he was scared? but why say a lie ljke that? when i felt its either im crazy or im...on to something. .

and why did he unblock me at all? to warn me or settle it? its still weird to ignore my one accusation. bro. whats with the staring.

but idk its weird like its enough where theyd know what happened. the email. the calling. ryan. the other subtle ways of contact.

so idk i think he couldnt say its bc you seem crazy and he gave you that reason as to why he blocked you even if it doesnt make sense. eventually we're gonna have to accept this is his response. idk abt what he knows abt me and ryan but i know he knows that unsolicited nudes thing is whack bc be liked them and he never blocked me i blocked him... so wtf.

i hate that this wasnt to me, a proper response. like ok i was frightening shit. but wait ur saying u blocked me? nah u blocked me now. no njdes. so idk what to make of this response. to believe it? theres an incorrect factoid.... that isnt it. so shit what now? now that is what will drive me crazy is saying that shit when that didnt happen.

thags what makes me think maybe he was a... cooky guy. bc hes lying. hes manipulating the situation. he didnt explaim himself. just said i was scary and a lie.

idk what it is at this point. him. me? what are the next steps? well... i rather we pretend it didnt happen. im never contacting him or seeing him. im leaving him alone. i dont want to make it worse. i can find "normal" love like tanner. no celestial shit. just hey we fit.... i wish it was normal. i'll pray for it.

but we forget him Riv.... he's gone. whatever it is you thought... his response, whether you believe it or not, could be his real response. and theres signs that your perspective is skewed. and this is it.

i know the nudes thjng sticks out to you Riv. but what are you supposed to do with that suspicion? i cant go see him and be like "was that really you?" like shiiiit no. so now what?

that is why i wanna tell you this; i need to feed you and pay your debt so im getting u a job. but i will also tell you this; if its meant to be it will be. if that isnt him, the real him will appear. but if not, you have more to live for

so. we forget any of this ever happened. we are in incognito mode. we keep it chill. focus on your mental health.

start working. start forgetting. get good at hiding. keep it simple. we can walk away from this bruv. who says we need to acknlowledge this happened? im dropping thjs. even the lie. it could be a cover up to a harsher feeling. we was nice enough to wish me good health....

i will be w say sd and just surviving. this is my last zane log tbh. for my safety and wellbeing.

[ssreeder]

heads up this one is a Chonky bOi:

ohmygod you UPDATED, you’re so lovely and so is your writing even though it makes me want to Scream (out of happiness and/or rage, it’s a mixed bag)

you do indeed make the The Most delicious cocktail, how could you ever doubt that??? also I got my own leekie tag :’) someone pls explain to me why that makes me emotional lmfao

noooo why do you always DO this sreedieeee “sokka was worried about jet finding out about who zuko really was” YOU BETTER FUCKING BE AFRAID ITS TOO DAMN LATE

“back to his rightful position as sifu hotpants” see this is the lightheartedness we need to see more of bc YOU KEEP TORTURING THE BOYS WITH NO RESPITE

also I may have forgotten that this plot point existed at all so it was a pleasant surprise

fuck you we’re back with another episode of Angst With Zuko, the most canon compliant aspect in this entire fic

lmao leave it to sokka to feel guilty about almost dying (like I Get it but also it’s the kind of situation where you have to laugh at the ridiculousness or else you’ll cry, and there’s already too much to cry about in this fic bestie)

YAY TINGLY LOVE FEELINGS our boys deserve good things <3

sreedie. I swear to fuckery if zuko is going to run away… I don’t have an adequate threat at the moment but I’m gonna be So Pissed my dude

lmfao not sokka’s ongoing shitty spirit luck-

but also >:(( about the letters LIKE THAT WAS SUCH A SMART PLOT POINT BY YOU AND I LOVE THAT YOURE A GENIUS but seriously Fuck this plot point

okay ik that “the big fire bender” is just a way to describe shen’s stature, but it makes me think of zuko being “the little fite bender” and idk the mental image of the big and little fire benders reminds me of a picture book my mum used to read to me where there was Big Mouse and Little Mouse and Little Mouse wouldn’t stfu and go to sleep bc Big Mouse was snoring too loud but the when Big Mouse put a peg on his nose to stop snoring then Little Mouse STILL couldn’t sleep bc he missed the reminder that Big Mouse was there to protect him from the scary things hiding in the dark and idk it’s cute (I’m pretty sure the book is called night noises??)

FUCK YEAH HAIR CUTTING LORE IM ABSOLUTELY THRIVING RN YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND IM SUCH A SLUT FOR CULTURAL DIFFERENCES BEING EXPLAINED (also the way that zuko simply did not inform sokka of any of these implications I cannot with this boy)

smh hakoda pls accept that your son is gay, shen literally just told you they’re metaphorically fucking in public

nooOooOoOo sad bato hours :(((

also not to go off on a tangent, but I’m going to do exactly that actually. anyways. just the whole “kya would know what to do” shtick got me thinking, it’s interesting for characters to make assumptions about how things would be easier/different if another character is around but that wouldn’t necessarily actually be the case and it’s just them projecting onto their loved one the feeling of safety and dependency onto them so it can act as a source of comfort of sorts?? idk if that’s a coherent thought but it’s out in the world now

hakodaaaaaaaa jet hAS ALREADY FUCKING DONE SOMETHING STUPID I hate this I hate it I hate it I hate it why do I love your story so much I hate this

hakoda… there is No fucking way you’re gonna leave zuko behind… right. RIGHT?????? sreeder I swear on my fucking life if your separate our boys-

YO SURELY BATO WILL TALK HAKODA OUT OF BEING A BLOODY MORON SURELY SREEDER TELL ME IM RIGHT

god I love bato. also shen and zuko banter >>>

oh morrak, obviously they’re going to do something reckless this is jet we’re talking about

aaaaand that’s a WRAP

I am so torn between hating you for this ending and pumped for the next chapter bc shit is once again going to go down, and really, what else are we all here for??

anyways, in response to your proposal, I just wanna say that it feels like we’re divorced, but it was an amicable divorce and so we still celebrate holidays together so our children don’t have to choose which parent to spend time with BUT I use the divorce against you for comedic effect, such as you PULLING THE ANGST SHIT WITH ZUKKA and then I get to shake my head and say “this is why I divorced you”

love you to bits and pieces!!

leekie :)

Ohhhhhhhhh leekie I like my asks like I like my milkshakes ,,, THICK <3

Sifu hot pants takes his position extremely serious I don’t know what you mean by lighthearted?? ;)

If Zuko does run away it will be with elegance and grace and likely in the middle of the night so no one will know :D

Do you think if Zuko found out he was the ‘little fire bender’ he would kick Shen’s ass just to prove a point?

Your tangents are my world, but yeah remembering a person for their best qualities is important but it’s also important for him to at least….. TRY to do what kya would do!

If kya were here she would smack Hakoda upside the head because YOU ARENT EVEN TRYING DUDEEEE. Hakoda is lucky kya isn’t there to witness the mess he is making.

oommmgggg I love being divorced to you it’s the best decision we ever made. Mwa mwa mwa mwahhhhh. You’re the best leekie and you’ll probably hate me more after next chapter but that’s okkkkk!

[omegawolverine]

Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!

okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo

disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited

tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops

going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!

so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!

so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.

now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.

speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.

moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"

so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:

Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.

Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously

Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him

Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away

Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else

when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.

whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo

generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.

also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.

edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!

now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]

so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!

um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:

cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him

paints nails various different colors

the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc

gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)

comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)

moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.

so, let's start with good things!

i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol

mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.

that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,

namely:

dizzee and thors first kiss

the lack of development this pairing got

the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders

the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not

dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????

now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.

so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????

also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it

so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.

the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)

and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.

during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.

so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol

[blxetsi]

modern levi ackerman dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

levi ackerman x gn!reader

- firstly, lets get love language out of the way

- i think his love language would be acts of service

- so like, he'll brew your coffee for you and set out your favourite mug when he goes to the kitchen to make his tea (bc we all know he'd wake up earlier than you 🙄)

- or he'll pick up a muffin from your favourite bakery on his way home

- or if you ask him to remind you to do something later, he's immediately writing it out on a sticky note and sticking it somewhere youd notice

- he notices youre getting low on your favourite moisturizer ? or lipbalm ? he's taking a picture of the packaging and getting it the next time he drives past walmart or smth

- he just does little things that help make your day better

- now i feel like a lot of people say this already, but he is NOT very comfortable with public displays of affection

- its not that he doesnt like it when you touch him, or hold his hand, or kiss his cheek, he just gets flustered and feels like everyone is watching you two

- but one thing he does allow is looping your arms together while you walk, especially in crowded streets

- it doesnt mean he doesnt like being close with you, he just hates doing it public. when youre alone ? hes ALL OVER YOU.

- "will you play with my hair ?"

- "levi im working."

- "okay can you multitask ?" motherfucker 😐

- doesnt matter if hes the big spoon or little spoon, just being close to you is enough.

- also would try and get used to your love language

- if your love language is physical touch hes genuinely surprised by how many times you put his hands on him each day (NOT in a sexual way) like even his mother never touched him as much and he's a momma's boy 😳

- when you wake up your coming out to the kitchen to fill your coffee, but not before kissing the top of his head as you walk past

- then youre guzzling down your coffee like its water before putting it in the sink and walking back, petting his head in the process

- you'll hug him while hes cooking, or brushing his teeth. youre giving him kisses before he leaves and when he comes home, just little small acts of love, but it happens so frequently that levi cant help but notice it

- your love language is verbal affirmations ? youre getting your coffee while saying "goodmorning beautiful"

- "i love yous" are thrown at him a lot, they never fail to make him feel better

- youll compliment this man and he short circuits for a second, quickly gets used to it as time goes on

- also too i think he'd be taller in a modern au, but not very very tall like erwin, im talking 5'7" to 5'9"

- and he's fine with his height, it doesn't bother him that much, he's the average height of a man so what's the big deal ?

- also he really doesnt care about height either. youre shorter than him ? cool, that means he can bend down to give you little forehead kisses. around the same height as him ? awesome, that makes it easier for him to give you a peck on the lips. taller than him ? mf he'll climb you like a tree if he has to. really doesn't care.

- also doesn't have a preferences for body type or anything. he thinks that character is way more important than looks 100% and he'll always find different things about you beautiful. your laugh is weird ? k now he's making you two watch a john mulaney special to so youll laugh. hate your belly and wanna lose weight, he's holding you and telling you to only lose weight if you genuinely want to be "healthier" and not so you get skinny. your acne scars bother you ? he's kissing your cheeks a lot more than usual, but you can't complain. literally Loves Every Part of You

- also i think his family would absolutely ADORE YOU and his friends for that matter

- miss kuchel is pulling you into a hug the first time she sees you, and is so accomodating and sweet. shes genuinely interested in your interests and what you do for a living, and will NOT hesitate to get levi's baby pictures out if you ask.

- his uncle ? he probably wont be there for the family dinner, but then kuchel's gonna call him up like "levi's s/o ?? absolutely spectacular !!" and then hes like "huh maybe i gotta come visit to see the runt and his lover"

- also i think in a modern au, kuchel wouldve gotten really sick when levi is a boy, so kenny would have came home to take care of his sister and try and take care of levi. in the end she got better, and he went back to his own home, but now she requests that he come for at least one family holidy so they can all spend it together

- BUT back to mr. ackerman

- idk what he'd do in modern times, i used to think he'd be a good english professor for a university, but then i saw a headcanon that he'd go into law school and become a lawyer, and honestly ?? it makes sense

- after a long day at work he just wants to come home to you, he'll find you on the couch reading or doing some of your own work, so he'll just slip off his coat and blazer and undo his tie while slipping off his shoes by the door. before plopping his head in your lap and requesting you to play with his hair.

- if you don't live with him hes taking a shower and then immediately calling you asking to come over. if you can ?? great he'll be in bed waiting to be spooned. if not, thats fine, but levi would like to facetime and rant.

- also has the absolute WORST road rage

- "that little prick cut me off !"

- "levi he's taking his driver's test !"

- "so ? i hope that instructor doesn't give the idiot a pass 🙄" and then will immediately honk his horn at the poor kid.

- also wouldnt be a clean freak like in canonverse. his whole "everything has to be spotless" stuff stems from trauma, specifically being left in an apartment with his decaying mother for weeks on end, but since kuchel is alive that never happens

- were things a little hectic during the time she was sick ? sure ! but kenny always tried to tidy up a bit when he saw it was getting to levi.

- levi just likes things to be neat and tidy, he doesnt do a deep clean of his apartment every two weeks, but always makes sure to clean up his messes as soon as they happen

- also doesnt like to fight

- his mom raised him with the idea that communication is key, and always encouraged him to "explain why hes upset" so they could work together to come up with a solution

- its something hes taken with him to adulthood, and even though sometimes he sounds like hes talking to a child when hes trying to get you to "use your words" he really doesnt mean to

- if youre yelling at him he'll stand there like 😐 and wait until youre out of breath so he can say "okay lets talk about this"

- is also very handy

- have a hole in your wall ? hes coming over to fix it

- need a lightbulb changed ? hes got u dont worry

- you need to assemble a piece of furniture ? he glances at the step by step guide once before hes putting it together

- hes so great at that stuff, and you only have kenny to thank

- literally when kenny first came to stay with levi and kuchel when she was sick, the kitchen light went out and he asked levi to screw another lightbulb in, the poor kid stood there like 🤨 and when kenny said "what ? you don't know how to change a fucking lightbulb ?" levi shook his head and said "uncle kenny im seven 😐"

- kenny was APPALLED. and immediately made it his mission to make levi as handy as himself.

- also, dates with him are rlly lowkey.

- he likes being in your company, so staying home and ordering take out is AWESOME in his opinion. sometimes he'll dress up and make a fancy meal with you.

- if you like going to carnivals and stuff, he's reluctant but eventually caves. wins you a lot of the prizes.

- "fuck. this shit is rigged y/n"

- "sorry levi, lets go do something else !"

- "what ? no. give me another dollar im getting you that fucking turtle"

- hange always wants to see you. levi makes it his life mission to keep you away from them as much as possible. not because he doesnt want you to get along with his friends, just because he knows that hange will spill some embarassing secrets from his college days.

- erwin ? hes okay but hes on thin fucking ice.

- also is very gentlemanly. will not only hold the door for you but for everyone. hes waiting in line for his order and someone comes up behind him and asks him to scootch so they can get some napkins ? mf its grabbing a handful himself and handing it to the person, wishing them a nice day with a small smile. hes just like,, a genuinely good person

- his singing voice ? immaculate. will he sing for you ? no.

- he also loves playing board games with you. like chess or checkers. you love playing board games with him and his friends, specifically monopoly. hange makes moblit form an alliance with them. mike is a lone wolf, and erwin and levi are always helping each other out until erwin betrays him. lots of trust is ruined between these game nights, but you literally cant bring yourself to care because its so fun to watch it unfold

this is my first headcanon thingy !! im v excited !! hope u all enjoyed 🤩✨ should i do more headcanons like these ???

- all in all, levi is a cool guy, and a cool bf.

[taelme]

Tattoo artist!Bang Chan

genre: tattoo artist!au, (fluff, slightly suggestive, this felt like slow burn to me lol) 

pairing/s:  Chan / Reader, ( some of the stray kids appear in this but not all sorry ) 

word count: 20k+ ( again, idk what happened my hand slipped ) 

tw: none!! just slightly suggestive but NO SMUT in this we keep it safe here bc im weak 

a/n: this was a ride....inspired by that one period of time ( PLS 191110 KAMP festival... ) Bang Chan kept wearing that fake lip piercing....n I love Bang Chan but like...I can't write smut for the life of me so this is the best I can do,... I put a mix in there I guess hope u guys like it!! ps gif not mine idk how many times I need to say this 

“Hi, welcome to peaches, what can I get you?”

You fumbled around in your bag for your wallet, looking up to make eye contact with the boy standing behind the counter, dark brown hair falling over his eyes slightly as he gave you an expectant look.

Taken aback by the sheer appeal of his looks, you avoided his gaze desperately, trying your best to calm yourself down as you wondered just why Felix wasn’t working today.

"Uh…I’ll just uh…I’ll get um. Can I have the peach thing?” you fumbled with your words, your hand going up to your head to scratch at your temple even though it wasn’t itching.

A small huff of laughter escaped the boy, your gaze darting up to look at him, somewhat curious to see what he would look like while laughing, but getting distracted by the shiny silver ring delicately hugging the corner of his lower lip, except this time you couldn’t bring yourself to look away.

“You mean the peach soda?” he quirked an eyebrow, giving you a small smirk.

You noticed a slight accent in the way he spoke, only serving to make you even more confused about just who he was, your mind wandering to possibilities on whether he was one of Felix’s friends from Australia.

Pursing your lips, you nodded quickly without paying attention to what he was asking you, trying to end your exchange quickly before your flushed skin became too obvious, thrusting your money forward and staring intently as he worked quickly at the register.

Holding the change out for you, you’d almost winced when the pads of your fingers brushed against the cool metal of his rings, hearing him thank you, mumbling something else that you couldn’t quite catch.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Name?” he prompted you again.

You made a sound of realization, remembering that this was your first time meeting him so he wouldn’t know your name, “Y/N,” you told him.

He made a small sound of intrigue, “nice name,” he murmured.

Thankfully you’d regained your sense of the situation before he could write your name on the cup, “wait, I’m not having it to-go,” you added quickly, not expecting to earn a chuckle from him.

“I know, sweetie, I asked you about that just know,” he raised his eyebrows at you, “I just wanted to know your name.”

Shoving your coins into your wallet, you thanked him quickly,  hastening your steps to find yourself a seat at the far corner of the room, away from the crowd of students playing board games but not too far away that your friend wouldn’t be able to spot you when they arrived.

Taking your phone out to pretend to fiddle with it, you couldn’t help the furtive ( you hoped, at least ) glances you stole at the said worker, your constant glances at him making you completely oblivious to what was actually going on around you, only snapping out of your thoughts with a start when you heard a loud thud on your table, your head snapping up quickly to spot your friend in the seat before you.

“Sorry I’m late. Did you wait long?” Jisung asked you, his hair in a mess from what you assumed was the cause of the thud.

“Huh?” you frowned, not hearing him quite well from how distracted you were, Jisung’s reply interrupted when you saw the cashier boy walking towards your table.

“Here’s your drink, sweetie,” he smiled, and in your desperation to avoid his gaze once again, you had noticed how only one of his hands was covered in a sleeve, something you knew people tended to do to cover tattoos.

You pretended you weren’t flustered, giving the boy a slight nod and looked elsewhere, fiddling with the straw in the soda, glaring at Jisung when he’d slid the glass from your hand slowly, raising both eyebrows in question while gesturing wildly with his head in the direction the cashier had walked off in.

“Who’s the hottie and why’s he calling you sweetie?” He wiggled his eyebrows, bringing the straw to his lips to take a long sip.

“Firstly, I want to know just as much as you do. Second of all, I don’t even know his name-”

“It’s Chris, I saw his nametag just now when you were too busy staring at God knows what,” Jisung rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat to casually look at the counter, observing how Chris had brought a little juice box up to his mouth, fiddling with his phone as there were no customers in line.

“Why d’you think Felix suddenly hired him?” Jisung narrowed his eyes at Chris, making you shrug, wondering where Felix was, finding it oddly timely when Felix had chosen that time to enter the café, the bells dangling on top of the door jingling to announce his entrance. 


“He’s here, maybe we can just ask him,” you told Jisung, watching as Felix approached the counter with a wide grin.

Chris placed his phone down quickly, only to relax when he realised it was just Felix.

“Hey,” Felix nodded at Chris, turning to scan the room, waving at you and Jisung upon spotting the both of you.

Jisung waved his hand wildly to beckon Felix to your table, practically pulling him down into a squat next to your table, earning a wide-eyed look of confusion from Felix.

“Hi guys, everything alright?”

“Who is that! Your new hire!” Jisung used his head to nod in Chris’ direction, making Felix turn around in Chris’ direction before a knowing look washed over his face, his mouth curving into an ‘o’ shape, looking very much amused.

“I see you’ve met Chris?”

You nodded, “are you understaffed or something? I thought you said you don’t do part- timers?” You frowned.

Felix shook his head, jutting his lips out in a pout.

“Nope, I’ve been pretty busy these days with classes so I figured I could use some help, plus, he’s a friend of mine so I know I can trust him.” Felix grinned, holding his hands up beside his face in a thumbs up.

“He looks really….” You began, immediately regretting because you were struggling to find the right word to describe Chris’ intimidating aura.

Truth be told, you were just trying not to let how good-looking you thought he was slip. Jisung would surely never let you live it down.

“Scary? Yeah I figured, my parents told me to get him to cover his tattoos so he wouldn’t scare my customers off,” Felix giggled, “but the lip piercing was a little troublesome so I let him keep it on,” he shrugged, your eyes widening at the confirmation that he did indeed have tattoos.

“Trust me….his face is scary enough for that,” you muttered, taking a long sip of your drink in your poor attempt to suppress your curiosity.

Jisung shot you a look, rolling his eyes.

“Please, that ‘sweetie’ he gave you was far from scary and you know it.”

Felix raised an eyebrow at Jisung, turning to give you an amused smile, his hands coming up to cover his mouth (though that didn’t do much in hiding his grin).

“‘Sweetie’?” He giggled, peering over at Chris before shaking his head good-naturedly.

“Yeah, you know, you should tell him not to flirt with your customers,” you huffed, Jisung’s smirk already beginning to unnerve you.

Felix’s response had only unnerved you even more, “trust me, Y/N, he’ll grow on you.”

===

And grow on you he sure did. Though you weren’t very sure if you would liken him to the kind of unwelcome moss that grows on old buildings or that of a pretty morning glory plant. Though both had its own charm, you just weren’t sure which one Chris fit into. Whatever it was, you were sure he was leaning towards the more unwelcome one for you.

You shot an annoyed look at Chris when he’d turned whatever rave music he had been playing in the café even louder, interrupting the cute café project meeting you were attempting to have with one of your friends Jeongin.

“What? Sorry, I can’t concentrate with all...this,” Jeongin gave you an apologetic frown, using his hand to gesture to the speakers, making you turn to cast Chris an angry glare.

Catching his gaze quickly, he gave you an expectant look, which only served to unnerve you more with how nonchalant he was acting.

“The music” you mouthed, gesturing to the speakers, “is too loud!” you covered your ears and shook your head vigorously, repeating your gestures with your frown directed towards him.

Chris simply shrugged, even going to the extent of pretending to yawn, cupping his hand around his ear and knitting his eyebrows together in a wince.

Curse Felix for having cute asshole friends, you thought.

Frankly, Chris didn’t know why he was being such an ass either. Maybe it was the knowledge that that kid sitting with you was interacting with you more than you ever interacted with Chris. Or maybe it was the way you seemed like you’d dressed up more today, fiddled with your hair more and posed for pictures nicely compared to when you were with Jisung.

Maybe Chris was just a teensy weensy bit jealous.

“I’m really sorry, he doesn’t seem like he’s gonna lower down the volume anytime soon,” you leaned closer to apologize, slightly reassured when he shook his head dismissively at you, though it didn’t rid you completely of your guilt.

“I don’t know why he’s doing this,” you explained further, “I brought you here because the music he usually plays is really good,” you explained.

“It’s really fine, he looks like the kind of guy I wouldn’t mess with either...it’s okay.” Jeongin glanced at Chris’ direction furtively, Chris’ sickly sweet smile seeming to intimidate him.

You scoffed at the way Chris had smiled at Jeongin, turning to give him another apologetic frown.

“I’m so sorry, I know you wanted to discuss our project today...but maybe we can go somewhere more conducive next time?” you tried to sound more hopeful, huffing a sigh of relief when you’d seen him nod reassuringly.

Jeongin had bid you goodbye once he’d decided he had received one too many of Chris’ intense stares, making you free to storm over to the counter, hands on your hips to emphasize your dismay.

Only then did Chris decide to lower down the music volume, turning back to face you with an expectant smile as you heard a calmer michael bublé song playing softly through the speakers.

“What’s your deal, Chan?” you frowned, your fingers finding purchase on the hem of your shirt, telling yourself to stand firm! And Don’t let his dimples sway you!

“I’ve told you a thousand times, you can call me ‘Chan’,” there was an amused lilt to his tone, though he figured you weren’t going to repeat yourself with how firmly you were staring at him.

“What deal?” he murmured pensively, bringing a hand up to fiddle with his lip ring and tilting his head at you so casually that you wondered if teasing people just came naturally to him.

"What’s my deal?” you echoed his question in disbelief, “I couldn’t even hear myself think with how loud the music was just now!” you huffed, your frown only deepening when he looked at you apologetically.

“Sorry, sweetie, couldn’t hear you just now. The other customers felt like the music was too soft,” he pouted, something in his expression making you less upset despite how obviously he was lying.

You’d opened your mouth to retort but fell short of coming up with a good enough comeback, choosing to scoff at him instead.

“You’re really manipulative, you know that?“ you huffed, poking your tongue in your cheek and looking down at the menu on the counter (even though you already knew what you were going to order).

"So….I’ll get you your usual, then?” and apparently, so did he.

Determined not to let yourself get more affected by Chan, and even more determined on not mentioning him for the rest of the duration that you would be at peaches, you buried yourself in your reading, flipping your pages so roughly you had to stop every now and then to check if they tore.

Jisung had joined you halfway, when you had switched from angry-reading to slouching in your seat scrolling through social media.

Shoving his phone on top of your (now closed) books with a loud thump, you leaned forward, peering over your phone to see different drawings and designs on the screen, all in black and white.

“That’s nice, did you draw it?” you asked, pinching and pulling at the screen to zoom on the details of the designs.

Jisung snorted, giving you an all-too-satisfied smile, "my dear friend, I’m thinking of getting a tattoo.”

Your eyes widened, “tattoo? Your mom would murder you,” you scoffed.

Jisung shook his head proudly, his eyes wide and insistent, “that’s where you’re wrong.” He smiled proudly, “I asked her already and she’s fine with it as long as I find someone legit to do it.”

Your eyebrows raised, fairly impressed that he had gotten away with it.

“But she’s not paying for it, of course,” he added as an afterthought.

You hated how predictable you were, but at the mention of tattoos, your gaze had wandered over to Chan, who was busy placing a few orders together on a tray. Staring at his sleeve, you figured, he seems like the type that would know about tattoos…right? I mean, considering he has a few of his own.

Don’t say it. don’t say it. don’t say it.

“Maybe you can ask Chan?” you’d winced as the words left your lips, “I mean, he has tattoos, right? Seems like he knows what he’s doing,” you offered, closing your mouth quickly as you saw him approaching your table.

“Oh yeah! Why didn’t I think of that?” Jisung clapped his hands, head snapping around and startling in his seat when Chan had made his presence known.

“Here you go,” he murmured, pushing your peach soda towards you before turning to Jisung, hugging his tray to his chest, “hey, man. Anything for you today?”

Jisung shook his head, “actually I was wondering, you have tattoos, right?”

You had to refrain from making your embarrassment too obvious, pulling the straw of your drink to your lips to feign disinterest in Chan’s response. Your sips only grew longer when Chan leaned his free hand on the back of your chair, his torso next to your head. Since when did his perfume smell so good?

“Yeah,” he replied confidently, shaking his head slightly to get his hair away from his eyes.

“Do you know anywhere I could get something done? Not anywhere shady, of course,” he asked Chan.

Chan let out a giggle, nodding. “Gimme a sec,” he held his hand up in a signal for Jisung to wait, jogging over to the counter and pulling his backpack out from under the counter, fishing something out before jogging back to your table.

Holding his hand out, he showed the both of you two small palm-sized cards. Taking it from him, you realized that they were business cards.

“This is actually my studio...” he shifted his weight from one leg to the other, folding his arms across his chest around the tray, “I’m like...certified and all, so you don’t have to worry,” he told Jisung.

“But you can check it out first if you’re still unsure. If not I can just find someone else to help you,” he added, gesturing as he spoke.

“Cool,” you murmured, gripping the card tightly between your fingers, making a mental note to do some research on this ship once Chan left.

“Alright, man, thanks so much. I’ll let you know.”

Chan smiled at Jisung, patting him on the back lightly before going off to clear the other tables.

“Says here they have an Instagram,” Jisung murmured, scrutinising the card closely.

Telling you the name of the account, you pulled up a page of the shop, your mouth falling open in shock at the number of people he had following the account, not to mention the number of pictures of peoples tattoos on the account. Starting to scroll through the account’s posts, you realized most if not all of his designs were in black and white.

“Do you want your tattoo to have colour? Cause if you do..I don’t think he really does many colour pieces,” you murmured, angling your phone to face him so he could look at the designs with you.

“Honestly...I might just do one of his designs…they’re a lot nicer than whatever I had in mind,” you laughed at the way he stared blankly at your phone screen.

“Do they tag the people who get the tattoos?” You wondered out loud.

Jisung reached over to tap on the picture, tapping on the account only to be led to what you were very sure was Chan’s account.

You shamelessly scanned the account, noticing he rarely posted photos of himself but mostly of the sky or of scenery (with the occasional post-workout photo), and that there were a little to no actual coloured photos in his feed.

“Are you gonna follow him?” You asked Jisung, seeing him nod and give you a shrug.

“Yeah, why not?” he raised his eyebrows in question as if you were asking a stupid question.

“Follow him with me, so it doesn’t seem like I’m trying to kiss ass or anything,” he tapped on your arm incessantly, tapping on his phone before dragging your hand closer to him so he could press the follow button on Chan’s account.

“Jisung!” You pulled your phone away quickly, looking at him with wide eyes, making his eyes widen as well, looking at you in surprise.

“What? What?”

“I didn’t know you were gonna follow him now! He’s literally right there,” you whispered harshly at him.

Casting you an unamused glance, he held his hands up in a shrug.

“It’s no big deal. He probably won’t even think much of it…. I mean, well…unless you want him to,” his expression turned to a more teasing one, narrowing his eyes at you as he traced a heart in the air with his fingers.

“Oh yeah, speaking of which, I was meaning to ask you, how did your meetup with Jeongin go?” he placed his phone back down on the table, looking at you expectantly.

“Bad,” you groaned, “Couldn’t even hear him half the time because someone was playing the cafe music too loud,” you nodded your head in Chan’s direction.

Jisung winced, “So you guys didn’t get to discuss?”

You shook your head, “I told him we could just meet somewhere more conducive the next time since clearly Chan had a problem hearing me,” you sighed, leaning back in your seat.

“But the music’s fine now, though?”

“Well it wasn’t fine just now, and the dumbest part was that he turned it down after Jeongin left,” you rolled your eyes, knowing that the brown haired boy had no idea you were talking about him as he stood there sipping on his stupid juice box.

“Maybe he did it on purpose,” Jisung offered, making you scoff.

“Beats me, but whatever it is it’s crazy.”

“You’re just mad ‘cause he’s cute.”

You scoffed, huffing at him in disbelief, “no, I’m mad because he ruined my meeting,” your eyes widened in offence.

Jisung narrowed his eyes, letting his imagination run wild, “maybe he wanted to ruin your date,” he conspired, making you roll your eyes.

“One,” you held up a finger, “it wasn’t a date. Two,” you lowered your hand, struggling to find another reason, “you watch too many dramas,” you finally mustered, only serving to fuel Jisung’s entertainment even more.

“It’s easy, Y/N, the next step is to just… slide into his dms, I mean, since you’re already following him.”

You tossed your packet of tissue at him, “shut up, Jisung.”

That same night, you were about to sleep when you’d received a message.

Jisung

1:39am - r we placing bets on whether he’s trying to thirst trap me –

Attached to the message was a screenshot of Chan’s Instagram page with a selfie that he’d just uploaded, the picture showing Chan’s exposed collarbones and above making your eyes widen and close the image quickly, feeling your cheeks redden at the sudden post, unsure why a simple photo of him was making you flustered to no end.

1:41am -probably-

Was all you could type out, debating in your head whether to open the image again, a part of you wanting to see it again but shaking your head decisively, shoving your phone back underneath your pillow, but the image of Chan with damp hair wearing coloured contacts burned in your head.

You found yourself growing more anxious about possibly seeing Chan the next day if you were going to the book cafe (which you probably were). But Jisung’s reply had you thinking that maybe it was the universe trying to shove and kick you towards Chan.

Jisung


1:42am - also ive decided n u are coming w me to his shop to get my tat tmr -

You sighed, casually scrolling up in your chat to have a look at Chan’s selfie again before typing out your reply to Jisung.

1:42am -lovely-

Shoving your phone aside, you closed your eyes, hoping the feeling of yourself being drawn to the image would go away quickly.

===

“Do you even know where the shop is? we’ve been walking for hours,” you whined, earning an eye roll from Jisung who was still faithfully following the google maps directions on his phone.

“First of all, it’s only been 10 minutes. Second of all, I know where it is, look,” he showed you his phone, the automated voice telling him he was about to reach his destination, “ms google says we’re really close by.”

“Okay, fine. Just hurry, I wanna sit down.” you sighed, letting Jisung lead you to a stretch of modern cafés, eventually ending up in front of a neon sign of what looked like a little cartoon snake, the cartoon logo fairly familiar after remembering seeing it on Chan’s Instagram.

Shoving the glass open, you heard small bells identical to those in the cafe signal your entrance. A tall, baby-faced boy wearing thin-rimmed glasses walking out from behind the curtains leading to the back. This boy had piercings too, but the skin exposed by his t-shirt was clean, not marked by any sort of tattoo, giving him a much more innocent appearance as compared to Chan.

“Hey, uh…I booked an appointment here for 2pm?” Jisung spoke, and the tall boy stalked over to their reception area wordlessly, going behind the counter to pull out a thick binder and flipping to the most recent page.

“With Chan?” the boy spoke, earning a nod from you. “Alright. I’m Hyunjin, by the way. Will both of you be getting tattoos?”

Your eyes widened, rushing to protest, “oh, no, no no. Not me, just him. I’m just moral support.” You clarified, earning a snicker from Hyunjin, who nodded in amusement.

“Okay, then,” he shut the binder with a light thud, “Chan’s just finishing up a phone call with another client. He’ll call you when he’s ready but in the meantime you guys can chill here, I guess.” he gestured to the small black leather sofas in the reception area.

You and Jisung did as you were told, the waiting making Jisung more nervous about the nitty gritty details of getting a tattoo.

“Here’s the forms to fill up while you wait,” Hyunjin walked over to pass an electronic tablet to Jisung.

You on the other hand, picked up a binder showing the various designs that the shop had specially come up with that people could choose, showing Jisung a new design every now and then to try to distract him from his nervousness.

“Hey look at this one, this is cute,” you pointed at a cartoon drawing of a kangaroo, flipping to the last page to see that they had pictures and the names of various piercings as well.

Jisung sighed, tone emotionless, “yeah, sure.”

Scrolling through the pictures absently, Jisung leant his head on your shoulder, looking at the binder’s contents with you.

“What about this?” Jisung joked, pointing at the lip piercing, “you could twin with Chan,” he snickered.

You rolled your eyes, “yeah, very funny.”

Sighing, you thought about how Chan looked with the lip piercing, “his lips are really nice…” Your voice trailed off, only realising what you said after. “I mean like, I’m not saying that with any double meaning or whatever I just mean like, you know, generally he has a nice lip shape and a—”

“Yeah save it, we know you have the hots for him.”

You huffed, ignoring Jisung and continuing to flip the pages.

“Wait stop, that one’s nice. I think you’d look good with this one,” he pointed at the picture of the helix piercing.

"This?” you brought your hand up to touch your ear where the piercing would be, “but this is like….the hard part of my ear, won’t it hurt?” you grimaced.

Jisung gave you a look, “c’mon, trust me, I think you’d look great in this….” Jisung lowered his voice, leaning closer to you and glancing at Hyunjin to make sure he wasn’t listening.

“Chan would lose his shit.”

You smacked the binder closed, glaring at Jisung. Holding the binder up threateningly, about to scold him when you heard the beaded curtains move, your head snapping around to spot Chan there, dressed in a black muscle tee and black jeans, dark hair messy on his head.

“Hey guys, Jisung you ready? I’ve already done the stencil so it’s your call,” you waited for Jisung’s answer, too busy gawking at Chan’s tattoo sleeve, now being the first time you weren’t seeing it covered.

Jisung let out a loud sigh, “lemme just go inside and mentally prepare myself first,” he stood up, shaking his head.

Chan held the beaded curtain open for Jisung, letting him walk through first as you took your time to gather your things, not realizing Chan was still holding the curtain open for you.

“Hey, sweetie.” Chan greeted, nodding his head at you with a small smile.

“Hi,” you murmured, suddenly nervous around him, about to sling Jisung’s bag over your shoulder when Chan’s voice cut in.

“Oh, you can actually just leave it here. Hyunjin’ll be here,” you glanced at the boy mentioned who nodded at you before going back to his handphone game.

“Oh, alright then,” you murmured, walking over to where he was.

“I see you’re playing the moral support role today?” Chan let out a small giggle, letting you walk through the curtain before following behind you.

You let out a huff of laughter at the sight of Jisung lying on the chair with his eyes closed, hands clasped as if in prayer.

“Didn’t really have a choice,” you laughed, earning a grim nod from Chan, who put on his gloves and lightly kicked his stool towards the chair Jisung was seated on.

The first thing you noticed about the room was that it was very neat, everything seeming as though it was in its rightful place, giving off a very clean feel to the room, which served to calm you down for some reason. The plants and warm lighting in the room served to add some comfort to the atmosphere.

“Dude, don’t look so deathly, you’re not gonna die. You can take breaks in between if it’s too much,” Chan’s tone was reassuring, which you were thankful for since Jisung really did look pale.

“Okay, you’re right. You know what? I’m not that weak, I can do this,” his eyes shot open, giving Chan a firm nod.

Chan shocked you by giggling, gesturing to a wheeled stool similar to his, “you don’t have to stand, sweetie, you can sit here. This might take a while.”

If you were embarrassed, you didn’t show it, as you padded over to the stool, going next to Jisung and feeling him grab your hand. For a second you were thankful he was so nervous that he couldn’t tease you for Chan’s term of endearment.

Chan had disinfected the area Jisung wanted the tattoo on, a blueish outline of the design transferring onto his skin before he’d started. You appreciated how patient and precise Chan had been to speed up the process, Jisung occasionally squeezing your hand when it hurt.

“How long is this gonna take?” you asked out of curiosity.

“Uhh… this isn’t that big of a piece, so about 2-3 hours? Give and take if he needs breaks in between.”

“So, uh….how long have you been doing this?” you made conversation, the buzzing sound of the tattoo needle growing too loud for your comfort.

Chan’s eyebrows raised, lower lips jutting out in a pout as he thought. “I would say…professionally about 3 years so far?” Your eyebrows raised.

“Started when I was 15,” you furrowed your eyebrows.

“Wait, so you’re 19?” Jisung huffed, almost moving to sit up when he was temporarily distracted by the discovery.

Chan huffed, shaking his head, “don’t move, please. But to answer your question, no. I’m not 19. I started my apprenticeship at 15…” he trailed off, tongue darting out to wet his lips as he concentrated on a particular spot of the tattoo.

Sighing, he leaned back slightly to dab at the perspiration on his temples with his arm, making you tempted to take the cloth and do it for him, “I’m 22.”

Your eyes widened, feeling Jisung squeeze your hand for what you knew wasn’t pain.

“Oh,” you murmured, unsure what Jisung’s little reaction meant.

Chan hummed, “Yeah, Jisung mentioned that you guys were entering uni soon,” he stated, earning an affirmative nod from you.

“Yeah, we’re turning 20 soon,” Jisung murmured, eyes open now, seeming to have adjusted to the pain level.

Now it was Chan’s turn to be surprised. “Interesting,” he murmured.

“Uh-huh” Jisung spoke, and the way his tone sounded was making you nervous, not knowing what nonsense he was about to spout next. “Y/N’s already so old and still doesn’t have a boyfriend.”

Chan flushed at the implication, hoping his shyness wasn’t too obvious. Meanwhile you were trying to convince yourself that you weren’t imagining the pink tint growing more obvious on Chan’s ears.

"Nothing to be ashamed of,” Chan mustered after a short silence, his volume dropping considerably, “I mean, I’m older than you, and at this point of time I’m not dating either.”

Jisung struggled to contain his excitement, thinking of ways that he could get you and Chan alone together, coming up with what he would deem to be the most brilliant idea.

“Hey, Chan. Do you guys do piercings here too?”

“Aren’t you a little too talkative for someone in pain,” you muttered through gritted teeth, shooting a glare at Jisung—which he promptly ignored.

Chan smiled, tilting his head in question, “you’re not even done with your tattoo and you’re already thinking about piercings?” he laughed.

“Not for me, man, for Y/N.”

Chan made a surprised sound, taking his lower lip between his teeth as he focused on a particular part of Jisung’s tattoo, leaning back with a small sigh, “oh, is that so? what kind?”

“Uh…you know the helix one?” you murmured, your hand unconsciously going up to your ear to fidget.

Chan hummed, “yeah, I can do that. You’ve already made up your mind?” You nodded, before realizing he couldn’t see you.

“I guess…will it hurt, though?”

Chan leaned back, shrugging, “Depends, a tiny bit more than your average piercing?”

“Oh…well, then, I guess that doesn’t sound so bad,” you murmured.

Jisung grinned at you, which went unnoticed by Chan, who spoke seriously, filled with concern for your friend, “you’re doing really great, by the way. We’ll probably be done a lot earlier than expected. Just let me do the finishing touches and you’ll be free.”

You fiddled with Jisung’s fingers for the rest of the duration, trying not to be too obvious when you stared at Chan. How his eyebrows would furrow just ever so slightly in his concentration, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips or play with his piercing when he was filling in the shading for Jisung’s tattoo.

Just as the waiting was starting to get even a little unbearable, your leg beginning to bounce restlessly, you saw Chan lean back, a satisfied smile on his face.

“All done,” he smiled, patting Jisung on the shoulder with one hand as he set his equipment aside, taking some cling wrap and wrapping it around Jisung’s wrist.

Releasing a relieved sigh, you silently thanked the heavens that it was over because you really needed to pee.

You’d excused yourself to the washroom as Chan told Jisung about the aftercare tips, coming back to see that Jisung had already paid for his tattoo.

“So uh..” you saw Chan leaning against the doorframe with one hand shoved into his pocket, a few strands of the beaded curtain draped over his shoulder which he fiddled with, “you still up for the piercing? Or would you rather come back another day?” He asked you, bringing a hand up to push his hair out of his forehead, his hair falling back against his forehead gently.

You hummed, taking your phone out to see if you would have any other free periods during this week, realising that the only big period of rest you would have this week would be now, and you figured you would rather adjust to the new piercing over the weekend instead of in the middle of the week.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll just do it today,” you shrugged, glancing at Hyunjin who was eyeing Chan suspiciously, finding the boy’s behaviour to be a little out of the ordinary.

“Cool, I’ll be in the back…just uh… come in and let me know when you’re ready,” he gave you a soft smile, the metal of his lip ring shining as it caught the light in the room.

“Have fun,” Jisung waggled his eyebrows at you once Chan went back, making you frown at him.

“What do you mean ‘have fun’? You’re staying with me,” your expression turned grim when you saw the way he was poorly stifling his laughter, “aren’t you?”

Jisung sucked in a sharp breath, grimacing, “yeah…about that…I actually have to go meet my group mates for something, but you’ll be fine,” he waved a hand at you dismissively, already beginning to backtrack out of the studio.

“Think of it as more time spent with Chan,” Jisung wiggled his eyebrows teasingly, turning quickly to leave the shop, leaving you dumbfounded in your place.

Turning around, you caught Hyunjin’s gaze, seeing the boy narrow his eyes at you, “are you and….Chan….you know…?”

You furrowed your eyebrows, your lips parting upon realising what he meant, shaking your head and waving your hands dismissively.

“Oh my god, no, really.”

Hyunjin raised an eyebrow at you, making you even more flustered that he was acting like he knew something you didn’t.

“No, seriously, nothing’s up. Stop looking at me like that.”

You quickened your footsteps in heading to the backroom, your cheeks flushed and eyes wide as you spotted Chan sitting on his stool, using his phone before looking up when you entered the room, a soft smile appearing on his face.

How can someone who smiles like this be the same person behind that selfie last night, you wondered.

“Ji..sung?” Chan’s voice trailed off, raising his eyebrows in question, setting his phone down on the counter attached to the wall.

“Oh, he actually just left…he had to meet his group members,” you murmured, gesturing outside.

Chan got up from his seat with a small grunt, walking over to you, making you confused as to why he was suddenly walking towards you.

You’d let out a confused hum, your voice coming out softer than intended, watching with wide eyes as he brought his hands up to yours, sighing in relief when he’d simply taken your bag and jacket from you.

“You can just take a seat on the chair if you want, but don’t recline it just sit on the seat,” he instructed, and you did as such, swinging your legs as they hung from the chair, the toe of your shoe grazing the tiled floor occasionally.

“Are you nervous?” He asked, bringing the various equipment he needed on the trolley, rolling it noisily over to where you were.

You nodded, making him laugh.

“Good.”

“Good? Isn’t it bad if I’m too stressed?” Your confusion was evident in your tone, making him shake his head at you.

Chan smiled, “it’s better to be nervous than over confident when it comes to these things.”

He took a new pair of gloves from the box, picking up a mirror from the tray and passing it to you, “hold this for me, hmm?”

Taking the disinfectant wipes, he pushed your hair aside, the constant falling of your hair making him giggle, “sorry can I just uh,” he shifted so he was standing behind you, bunching your hair into a ponytail, his hands brushing against the skin of your neck when he gathered the hair, almost making you shiver.

Securing it with the hairband around his wrist, he looked at you from the front, nodding at his handiwork.

“Sorry,” Chan added as an afterthought, “hope you don’t mind.” He put on his gloves, the metal of his bracelet peeking out from under the latex.

You shook your head, quietly observing his actions through his reflection in the mirror out of sheer anxiousness. Watching carefully as he held your ear with his first two fingers, disinfecting the area of your ear before picking up the marker.

Chan had crouched down slightly, pursing his lips in concentration as he made a tiny dot with the marker on your ear, leaning back so you could have a better look.

“Is this placement okay?” he asked, earning a nod from you.

“Great,” he gave you a close lipped smile, dimples appearing on his cheeks, “wow your ears are really red,” he commented with a laugh.

Laughing half-heartedly in reply, you shrugged, “think it’s cause of the air conditioning,” you lied, not knowing he would take you seriously, walking over to where he’d put your things and grabbing your jacket with his elbows, dropping it onto your lap.

“Sorry, it’d be a lot less awkward if I could use my hands,” he laughed, and you weren’t able to keep yourself from smiling.

After he’d prepared the needle and the studs, you tried not to let your tension be too obvious when he leaned down so he could be more precise. Funnily enough, though you were about to get a piercing, you were less nervous for that as compared to the fact that Chan was so close to you.

“Are you excited to graduate?” he asked you in an attempt to distract you, earning a shrug from you.

“I guess,” you murmured, Chan having successfully directed your attention elsewhere, “a little scared, though.”

“Of?” he asked, his gentle tone prompting you to elaborate.

“I guess I’m not really like…scared, I’m just kind of anxious? like…I don’t really know what to expect,” you laughed, earning a confused sound from him.

“Well if you think about it like that, then of course it’ll be negative,” Chan laughed.

“I mean, I wouldn’t know what it’s like because I didn’t go to uni but you know….maybe if you think of it as like a...i’m doing this so that I can do this in the future kind of thing then it’d be more exciting than scary,” Chan offered, moving to your other ear.

“Well…I guess that’s true,” you murmured, about to continue when you’d felt the needle piercing your skin, letting out a yelp, your hands unconsciously finding purchase on the closest thing to you, which (unfortunately and fortunately for you) was his torso, “why didn’t you give me any warning!” You hissed.

"Too late for a countdown now, huh,” he shrugged, fitting the stud onto your ear.

“All done,” he giggled, stepping away from you to set the needle into a tray for cleaning.

“You know what to do, right? Like…to care for your piercing?” Chan asked you, earning a nod from you.

“So, I’m done here?” You asked, watching Chan as he set his things aside to be sterilized, glancing at the clock on the wall at the side of the room.

“Pretty much,” he hummed, bringing up a hand to adjust his hair.

You hated how much the tension in the room was building, as if the both of you were just holding back on what you’d wanted to say. Almost deciding to walk out before Chan had finally spoken up.

“Are you gonna get dinner with Jisung?” he asked, looking elsewhere and pretending to be busy with throwing his gloves away.

“Nope,” you walked over to where he’d placed your bag, slinging it over your shoulder and taking your phone out to tell Jisung you were done getting the piercing.

“I’m probably just gonna go home and order in, or something,” you murmured, slightly preoccupied with texting to notice the way he’d perked up at the sound of you being free for the evening.

Chan walked through the curtains to the main reception area, leaning over Hyunjin who was sitting at the desk, fishing the tablet for you to fill in the form, murmuring a soft ‘sorry’ to Hyunjin, who was busy playing his phone games.

“Shouldn’t you have given that before she got the piercing,” Hyunjin whispered pointedly, his words going ignored by Chan, who knew very well that he was flustered into forgetting that small detail.

“Just fill these up and you’re all set,” he pushed them over the counter towards you, and you’d typed your details in quickly, eager to get Hyunjin’s suspicious gaze off of you.

“How much do I have to pay you?” You asked, getting ready to fish your wallet from your bag, confused when you heard Chan make a strangled sound of protest.

“Oh, no, it’s fine. Consider it ‘on the house’,” he told you, making Hyunjin’s eyebrows raise in question.

“What? But why? I mean, your shop is doing pretty well, services like that would probably be really expensive, right?” You gripped your wallet tighter, however he didn’t seem like he was giving you an option. Not with the way he was looking at you, that was for sure.

Hyunjin had ended his game already, nudging his glasses higher on his nose bridge. He pressed his lips in a thin, firm line, hoping it would help him stifle his laughter as you continued.

“But I can’t just let you do that, I mean, this is your business, you’d lose a lot of money if you just give people free services like this, you know?”

Chan almost snorted, “trust me, I won’t.”

You wracked your brain for other options on how to persuade him, “okay, but there has to be some other way I can repay you,” you stated, not expecting Chan to reply so quickly.

“How does grabbing dinner with me now sound?” The words flowed from his lips so naturally that even Hyunjin was surprised, not used to seeing his usually shy friend act so confidently around people.

Hyunjin let a small giggle escape him, narrowing his eyes at Chan who had kicked at his chair as a silent threat.

You opened your mouth and closed it back, unable to form a response in your shock, “uh…I um…” you fumbled to find the right words, making Chan let out the tiniest giggle.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he assured you, “I’m just offering, you know...since you said just now that you wouldn’t have dinner at home anyway,” he gestured with his hands as he spoke, the silver chain around his wrist coming to your attention as he moved his hands around.

“No, no..uh,” you swallowed, clearing your throat softly, “yes? Yes, that sounds great, Chan,” you mustered out as confidently as you could.

“Cool, meet you outside, then? Lemme just go and grab my stuff,” he flashed you a small close-lipped smile before walking to the back.

“Bye?” You murmured to Hyunjin, who turned his narrowed eyes away from Chan to direct them towards you instead.

“I swear...there’s definitely something going on with you two…” Hyunjin muttered, tapping at his phone quickly before shaking his head abruptly, “never mind, I won’t harass you about it….yet. Have a good dinner,” his expression changed to a smiling one, waving at you as if nothing happened.

When you’d gone out of the tattoo shop, you only had to wait for barely a minute before you heard the door open behind you, Chan stepping out, now wearing a black leather jacket over his shirt with his bag in hand.

“Did you have any dinner place in mind?” You asked him, seeing him nod.

“Do you like tacos?”

===

“So, how come you’re working at peaches if you already have that whole setup at your tattoo studio?” You’d asked him during your dinner. You’d both already finished eating but were in no rush to leave, sipping your drinks slowly as an excuse to talk more.

“Felix told me he was looking for someone who could fill in for him part-time for whenever he had to go for classes, so I offered, since I don’t usually take appointments in the morning,” he explained, sipping his drink, fiddling with the straw between his thumb and index finger as he spoke.

“So you work in the afternoon?” he nodded.

“I work from around twelve to seven,” he told you casually, and at the mention of time you’d glanced at your phone, realising it was way before seven when he’d asked you to eat dinner with him.

Your eyebrows furrowed, “wait, then doesn’t that mean that you left work before you were supposed to?”

Chan’s eyes widened momentarily, bringing the straw to his lips ever so slowly, giving you a shrug in feigned nonchalance. “Nope,” he told you calmly, “I leave after my clients are done for the day, and I usually take 1 client a day.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, “are you lying right now?” you pretended to disapprove, since you knew you were past the point of saying you didn’t enjoy spending time with Chan.

Chan simply grinned, your heart skipping a beat at the sight of his dimples, hearing him let out an exaggerated sigh, “depends.”

He rest his chin on one of his hands, his fingers going up to fiddle with his lip piercing, only now coming to your notice that he’d changed the jewellery to a bigger silver ring.

“Does that hurt?” you asked, curiosity getting the better of you, making him gesture with his finger to his lips, earning a nod from you.

“Nope,” he said, popping the ‘p’, “I’ve had it for really long so you can like press or tug on it or whatever but it won’t hurt,” he said, his wording making your imagination wander, ears tinting red as you tried to dismiss the thoughts of kissing Chan that popped into your head.

“Your ears are red again,” he pointed out, an amused lilt to his tone, knowing exactly why.

In your distress, you tugged his hair tie off your hair, adjusting your hair so it would cover your ears, narrowing your eyes at him.

“It’s only ‘cause you said it like that,” you huffed.

“Like what?” he raised an eyebrow at you, feigning innocence as he continued, “all I meant was if I pull on it like this it won’t hurt…” he demonstrated by using his index finger and thumb to fiddle with his piercing.

“Unless, that wasn’t what you were thinking?” he teased, leaning closer to you over the table.

You got up abruptly, “we should get going,” you diverted the topic quickly, ignoring Chan’s laughter behind you as you made your way to pay the bill, managing to do so successfully before Chan had made it to the register, earning a pout from him.

“You pay for my piercing, I pay for our dinner. Simple,” you shrugged, walking out of the restaurant and letting him follow behind you.

“Is your place near here?” Chan asked.

Your eyes widened, not understanding why he was asking you that, a million possibilities of reasons why running through your head about what he could possibly have intended from asking that.

Chan realised your internal conflict after a few seconds, his expression flustered when he realised, “no, no! I meant like, how are you going back home since it’s late,” he explained slowly, hands gesturing slowly as he spoke.

You hummed, “I think I might have a bus I can take from here, but it’ll probably take a while,” you shrugged, eyeing him curiously when he’d taken his phone out of his pocket.

“Address?” He asked, and you told him as such, “your place is actually pretty near mine, I stay a couple streets down. Let me see if I can book us a car or something, I reckon it’ll be faster than taking the bus,” he murmured, and you watched him type on his phone quickly before a triumphant smile graced his features.

Letting out a surprised hum, he showed you his phone, “it’s less than 10 dollars if we share a car, do you want to?”

You nodded with a shrug, “sure,” taking your phone from your pocket to check the time, seeing that you’d gotten a text from Jisung.

Jisung


8:08pm -school starts next week???-

You sighed in realisation, making Chan frown at you curiously.

“What’s wrong?”

You laughed, shaking your head, “nah, it’s nothing. I just realised I’m starting school next week, but I feel like I haven’t done anything during my holidays,” you groaned, turning to Chan with an exaggerated sad look on your face, seeing his eyebrows lift in an expression you would use to comfort a crying child.

“Jisung and I had so many things we planned to do like…go to amusement parks or like….go camping or have a sleepover, but…we just ended up spending all our time at peaches,” you laughed.

“Oh, you guys wanted to go camping?” Chan asked, an idea sparking in his mind when you’d nodded affirmatively at him.

“That’s pretty…coincidental… Hyunjin and I were actually planning on going camping next week, do you wanna come?”

Your eyes widened, not expecting such an opportunity to come so quick for you.

“Really? Where were you guys planning to go?” You asked, and you’d felt his hand gently touch your forearm, the other hand swiping around on his phone before he showed you pictures of what looked like a cabin.

“There’s this place out of town where you can sort of rent the area and you can like, do barbecues and campfires, it’s really nice,” he smiled, “oh, and there’s like this lake nearby the site that looks really really beautiful in the morning. And you don’t even have to pay because Hyunjin’s parents bought a part of it so he can just use it privately,” you nodded, impressed at how convenient and attractive the place sounded.

“But…isn’t it kind of weird if it’s just me going with the both of you? Do you mind if I ask Jisung along too?” You asked hesitantly, a sheepish expression on your face.

Chan laughed, nodding as he wordlessly grabbed your arm, leading you to what you assumed was the car you booked, opening the door for you to go in first before he slid in after you.

You greeted the driver, who had given you a friendly greeting in return as well. One thing you noticed (regrettably or fortunately, you wouldn’t say) was that the back seat was a little cramped, the seats angled in such a way that you would tend to slide towards the middle. Being bigger than you, Chan occupied more space compared to you, causing you to practically be knee to knee when you sat comfortably.

“Also,” Chan yawned, leaning back in his seat, “to answer your question, yes, of course you can ask Jisung to come along. Felix is coming too since he’s been begging me to bring him.”

Chan shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket, sliding down in his seat. “we’ll probably only stay over for a night so you don’t need to pack much I guess…and Hyunjin can give us a ride to and from the cabin.”

You nodded, covering your mouth when you’d yawned as well. “Great,” you sighed, turning your head to look at him only to see him already looking at you with a tired expression, his gaze darting from your eyes to your ear.

Feeling shy from his staring but too flustered to confront him about it, you simply let your gaze fall to your lap, thinking about the upcoming camping trip.

“I don’t have your number, do I?” He murmured, seeing you shake your head no.

Unlocking your phone, you passed it to him so he could enter his contact, not missing the way he’d put his name as Chan instead of Chris, adding a wolf emoji behind his name.

“Thanks….for the dinner,” you murmured, seeing as you were getting closer to your house, figuring you had better say it now than never.

Chan huffed, “I should be thanking you, for not rejecting the offer,” he told you.

You scoffed, not believing that this was the first time, “I mean, you’re always swarmed at peaches, pretty sure it’s not the first time someone accepted your dinner offers,” you joked, regretting your joke when you saw the way he smiled at you, as if he knew something you didn’t.

“It kind of is….maybe ‘cause I never had the time to….offer to get dinner with all my work going on,” he said casually.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, your mouth running faster than your mind could process, “so what made you do it this time?” you laughed.

Chan shrugged, leaning forward to rest his head lightly on the headrest of the seat, turning to look at you with an unreadable expression, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

“I don’t know, sweetie. Something about you just seems to keep pulling me in,” he shrugged.

"Why do you keep calling me sweetie?” You let out a nervous huff of laughter, looking elsewhere in fear that looking at him would make you more flustered, not knowing what sort of confidence came over you for you to ask him so boldly.

“Would you rather me call you something else? Honey? Baby—”

“How about my name?” You interrupted before he could go any further, your reaction seemed to have amused him to no end, making him erupt in a fit of giggles.

“Well that’s no fun, is it?” He scrunched his nose up in distaste, making you scoff.

“Why do I get the feeling that you won’t stop even if I asked you to?” you narrowed your eyes at him.

Pushing himself off where he leaned against his seat, he’d leaned dangerously close to you, your heartbeat starting to race at his proximity before he’d abruptly ruffled your hair, leaning back as if nothing happened.

“You are absolutely right,” he had a triumphant smile on his face.

Shaking your head in feigned disapproval, you saw that the car was slowing down, the driver trying to find your apartment complex.

“Yep, you can stop here,” you told the driver, slinging your bag onto your shoulder before waving at Chan.

“Goodnight,” you murmured, smiling out of your sheer shyness that you couldn’t explain (or maybe you could, but just didn’t want to admit it—ignorance is bliss after all).

He gave you a tired smile, tilting his head as he waved at you. You were already getting out of the car, leaning down before you closed the door since he seemed like he was about to say something.

“Goodnight…Y/N.”

===

After that day, Chan had started texting you, and you weren’t sure what to make of it, not wanting to misinterpret friendliness for flirting but at the same time not being able to stop yourself from thinking it was as such.

You would see him at peaches, and he would come sit with you during his breaks, and you would spend time lounging at the sofas reading books and sharing funny or interesting things about the book with each other, much to Jisung’s entertainment.

“I see that now you have Chan you don’t need me to accompany you to peaches anymore?” he would tell you, not without a dramatic sigh.

“That’s not true, we just hang out during his breaks,” you shrugged, nervous that Jisung’s questioning would actually make sense.

“And tell me again why you guys don’t just decide to date?” you shushed him, not wanting Felix to overhear your conversation since he was clearing a table near where you and Jisung were sitting.

Felix said he’d given Chan the day off since he had pretty big pieces to do for his clients these few days, which according to Felix would take at least 7 hours each and left Chan feeling dead tired afterwards.

“It’s not up to me,” you shrugged.

Jisung gave you an unamused look, “oh, really.”

You glared at him, “you better not try anything weird when we go camping or I'll really throw you in the lake.”

“Over my dead body,” Jisung stuck his tongue out at you, “I’ll see you guys married before I let you kill me.”

And it seemed Jisung really did mean it, because when the day came for you guys to go camping, you had met with Jisung and Felix outside peaches to wait for Hyunjin and Chan to come pick you guys up, the two boys showing up eventually, with Chan sitting in the passenger’s seat.

Momentarily relieved that you wouldn’t be put in another stressful situation of squeezing in the backseat with Chan, your relief was short-lived when Jisung had eyed the passenger’s seat, executing the first step of his self-proclaimed brilliant plan.

“I want the front seat! Please, I get motion sickness,” he deadpanned, knowing Chan would be worried enough for him to switch seats with him.

Chan had his hood covering his head when he got out of the car, looking more than a little tired as he murmured a soft greeting to you, surprising you when he pulled you into a hug, earning you an excited smile from Jisung who was already seated in the passenger’s seat. He greeted Felix with a hug as well, letting you get into the car before he did, Felix going in after him.

“Sorry, I really wanted to talk to you but I’m really tired, hope you don’t mind if I just take a nap,” he murmured to you, earning a dismissive shake of the head from you.

“No, no, not at all, go ahead,” you assured him, “it’s a pretty long ride anyway, might as well use it.”

You didn’t miss the appreciative smile he gave you before he leaned his head back on the headrest, folding his arms in front of his chest and closing his eyes.

“He didn’t get much sleep last night, was up late doing designs for one of his clients,” Hyunjin murmured after a while when Felix had commented on how Chan had fallen asleep so quickly.

You nodded, figuring some clients would have more specific demands for tattoos since their shop was pretty well known.

Looking out the window as Hyunjin drove, you gawked at how nice the scenery was, preparing yourself for the turn that he was about to make, your body tensing up when you’d felt Chan’s head fall gently against your shoulder, having slid down in his seat after falling asleep.

Not wanting to wake him, you silently hoped your shoulder wouldn’t be too uncomfortable for his head, trying to stay still so you wouldn’t wake him up.

Jisung had turned around to tell you about a ‘wild boar’ he claimed he’d spotted, stopping himself when he saw Chan’s head resting on your shoulder, pressing his lips together.

“I think the universe is helping me execute my plan.” Bringing a first up to his mouth, he pretended to tear up.

Glaring at him, you ignored both him and the way Chan unconsciously leaned into you as he slept, relaxing after a while as you grew to find it comfortable.

“We’re almost here,” Felix told you, giving you an amused look, “pretty comfortable over there, huh?”

You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help the smile from your face, shaking your head.

When Hyunjin had stopped the car, him, Jisung and Felix were already getting out of the car to help shift the things out from the trunk, and you’d shifted your body to the side as carefully as you could, lifting Chan’s head from your shoulder gently, one of your palms against his cheek, a part of your heart fluttering when you felt him lean into your touch.

Snapping out of it, you cleared your throat softly.

“Chan,” you murmured, tapping his hand to wake him, his eyebrows furrowing before his hands came up to rub his eyes, leaning away from your hand.

“Y/N?” He murmured.

“We’re already at the cabin,” you huffed in amusement.

Chan opened his eyes, glancing at his surroundings, “oh, sorry,” he turned away, pushing the door open and getting out quickly, and you swore you saw his ears tint pink, wondering if he was actually shy or if you were just hallucinating.

Once you were out, you saw Jisung waving you over, “help me,” he whined, making you roll your eyes, but you left Chan’s side to go help him bring the cooler of drinks and whatnot into the cabin, Hyunjin choosing now to explain the room situation.

“You guys can choose roomies now, I’m probably rooming with Chan,” Hyunjin raised his hand to announce once you were all in the cabin.

“We’ll take the other room,” Jisung shouted, already grabbing your hand to pull you aside as if you were picking teams in school instead of just deciding roommate situations.

Felix laughed, nodding, “I’ll take the last room then.”

Only when you’d gone into the room you realised that it was already about mid-afternoon, and you had heard Felix shout something about going to play at the lake, hearing shouts of agreement from Hyunjin and Chan.

“Did you bring clothes for swimming?” Jisung asked you, and you answered him with a shake of the head.

“Wasn’t planning on swimming,” you told him.

Jisung looked at you, erupting into boisterous laughter, “shit, me neither….black shirt should do, don’t you think?”

You shook your head, laughing with him, “not like we have much of a choice.”

After getting changed, you’d met up with the rest of them outside the cabin, Hyunjin leading the group of you to a lake near a small waterfall, Felix, Hyunjin and Jisung jumping in first, leaving you and Chan behind.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” you asked Chan.

“I could ask you the same thing,” he gave you a look, “do you know how to swim?”

You nodded confidently…before shrugging, “I know the basics, like floating,” you said to defend your lack of skill.

Chan brought his tattooed arm over his chest to grab his other shoulder, “doesn’t matter, nothing to be ashamed of,” he told you casually, getting into the water and holding a hand out for you to take.

Stepping down carefully, you’d used Chan as a leverage for you to get into the water, almost stumbling when you’d stepped on a particularly slippery part of land, Chan quickly reaching his hands out to your waist to steady you, your face and neck heating up from how flustered you were.

Chan had helped you till you were able to walk on your own, surprising you when you found that the water reached up to your chest.

You heard Jisung call out for a game of chicken, deciding you would split into pairs and the losers would have to cook for later.

“I pick Felix! He’s super light!” Hyunjin called out, raising his hand to make his point known.

You were about to call for Jisung when he’d raised his hands.

“I’m the referee!” he shouted, making you gape at him, knowing this was probably another part of his plan.

“Alright, so me and Y/N are one team,” Chan said, nodding at Jisung.

Turning to you, Chan brushed his hair away from his forehead, wetting his lips before he spoke.  

“You can’t have me on your shoulders, I’m too heavy,” Chan laughed, making you cover your face.

“I can’t believe Jisung,” you muttered to yourself.

“what was that?” Chan asked, already making his way in front of you, and you saw that Felix was already on Hyunjin’s shoulders, the only advantage they had visibly being that Hyunjin was taller.

“Nothing,” you blurted, glaring at Jisung when he gestured for you to hurry up, Chan bending down in front of you to make it easier for you to climb on, his hand going behind your leg to push you up, and you’d settled down quickly, trying to see if you could balance well.

“Is it okay if I put my hands here? Is it stable?” you felt Chan place his hands around your shins, but you still felt like it was pretty wobbly. Either that or you were just in a generally wobbly mood from ending up in this situation with Chan.

“Not really, it still feels like I could fall,” you hummed,  your breath hitching when he’d moved his hands up to place them above your knees, hoping he hadn’t felt the way you tensed up. (He did)

“Is this better?” he asked, making you blurt out a small ‘yeah’, oblivious to the looks Hyunjin and Jisung were exchanging.

“Okay firstly the rules are: have fun, no kicking or biting, once you get knocked off you lose even if you’re still on your partner’s shoulders,” Jisung mustered his best announcer’s voice as he explained the rules.

But a part of you couldn’t focus with the way Felix was taunting you and Chan was drumming his fingers on your thigh.

“Ready?” Jisung lifted his hands as though he were starting a boxing match. “Go!”

You almost screamed with how quickly Hyunjin had advanced, Felix reaching out his hands towards you which you responded instinctively to by holding your hands out in front of you, palms facing him, pushing at his hands.

“Y/N I think the point is to push him off, not hi-five him to death,” Jisung cackled, making Chan laugh as well, Hyunjin moving to splash water in Chan’s direction.

Once Felix had caught hold of your hands, you knew you were in for it, he’d interlocked your fingers, trying to sway you left and right in the hopes that it would make you more wobbly.

“Having a good time on your date up there?” Hyunjin called out sarcastically, starting to get tired of balancing from all of Felix’s movements.

You swore you felt Chan grip your legs tighter from Hyunjin’s statement, making you eager to end the game.

Felix had let his grip loosen almost momentarily in his distraction when he glanced at Chan for his reaction, and you took that as an opportunity to find his weak spot, tickling the area under his wrist, making him draw his hand back quickly with a squeal, all of this happening while Hyunjin was trying to rub his eyes, Felix’s hand on his head making his hair press against his eyes.

Once you saw the opportunity, you prodded at Felix’s side, his ticklish reaction sending him falling off Hyunjin’s shoulders, a loud splash sounding when he landed in the water. Followed by shouts from Jisung and a loud groan from Hyunjin, of course.

“Hyunjin and Felix are on dinner duty, then!” You cheered, your hands going down to Chan’s hair when you almost lost your balance in your excitement, accidentally tugging on his hair, making his hands fly up to yours, having to keep himself from letting his eyes roll back, peeling your hands away from his hair.

“Woah, woah, woah, let’s get you down from there,” Chan laughed nervously, making you realize what you were doing, letting him bend down so you could get off of him, jumping in the water to get used to it again.

You’d made your way over to Felix, wanting to make sure he was okay, seeing him wiping the water from his face, “are you alright?” you asked.

“Look at him, gloating,” Felix pretended to be upset, directing your attention towards Chan, who looked your way, but you looked away immediately when he’d lifted his shirt slightly to keep it from clinging to his skin.

Dear God, you hoped Jisung hadn’t seen that.

“Wow, Chan, okay we get it!” Jisung yelled, making Chan drop his hands, a shy smile on his face.

Jisung looked at you with wide eyes, “did you see that?!” He whispered harshly to you while Chan was busy discussing something with Hyunjin.

Felix gave you a look, “why does he seem like he wanted you to see that?” He pointed at Jisung, making you shake your head, for lack of a better response.

“Also, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Felix continued, lowering his voice so they wouldn’t hear, “do you guys like…as in like you and Chan...like is there something going on?” Felix asked, his eyes widening in curiosity.

As you glanced over at the subject of your conversation, making eye contact with Chan as he gave you a soft smile, unknowingly returning the smile before turning back to face Felix.

“What makes you think that?” you murmured, feigning confidence.

“Well, for one, that weird smile thing you guys just did,” Jisung pointed out, making you roll your eyes.

“Doesn’t mean anything, he’s just…really friendly,” you shrugged, frowning when Jisung leant over to whisper something in Felix’s ear, after which he’d left promptly to head over to Hyunjin and Chan.  

Felix looked at you with a teasing smirk, “yeah, very friendly from the looks of it,” he waggled his eyebrows at you suggestively.

About to react defensively (as usual), your attention was diverted from Felix when you heard Hyunjin clear his throat, “hey guys, I think me and Felix will head back to wash up first so we won’t start preparing dinner too late,” you heard scattered murmurs of agreement before Hyunjin had started heading out of the lake.

“Stay with him,” Jisung instructed you urgently, making your eyes widen in confusion, seeing as Chan looked as though he had no plans on leaving the lake.

Increasing his volume, he announced, “I’ll be heading back with them too, you guys can just take your time, I’ll call you guys back when we’re done washing up,” Jisung waved, following behind Felix and Hyunjin.

Hyunjin turned around to wink at you, “have fun,” he drawled, which as much as you tried to ignore, you couldn’t help but read into.

Chan made his way to where you were in the water, tilting his head at you expectantly, “you’re staying here too?” he asked, his unexpected question catching you by surprise.

Nodding slowly, you’d brought your hand to brush against the surface of the water gently, “figured I could use a little break too.”

There was a hint of a smile on Chan’s face, nodding, “you still scared about school?”

You contemplated the question, realising that you were in fact a lot less anxious about school compared to a few weeks ago. “I’m alright, really… what about you?”

Chan shrugged, “usual, I guess,” he led you to an area of the lake that was more calm, the sun beginning to grow less harsh, “if you’re bored waiting for school to start you’re always welcome to come to the studio, you know.”

“Jisung’s been telling me the exact same thing,” you said with a laugh, “says I could get myself a tattoo while i’m at it.”

You hadn’t expected Chan to be so serious about it, “well, you can, you know.”

Shaking your head, you let out a huff of laughter, almost shy under his gaze as you averted your gaze, “oh, no, i’m not really too keen,” you said.

Your words had struck a nerve with Chan, making him wonder if his tattoos were making you uncomfortable. Though he’d bounced back quickly, lighting up with a smile, his dimples showing obviously as he did so.

“My friends and I used to come here a lot…sometimes I would come here just to chill and just like…float around, it’s pretty nice. Especially in the early mornings,” he told you, using his hands to push the water around.

“I don’t really know how to explain it,” he admitted, “it was a really nice feeling.” He told you, though he himself didn’t sound very satisfied with the adjective he’d chosen.

“If you could compare it to a feeling you get when you do something else, what would it be?” you asked out of sheer curiosity, earning a thoughtful hum from him.

“Lemme think about it?” He requested, earning a nod from you before he continued, “you mentioned just now that you knew how to float, right?” he smirked, earning another nose scrunch from you.

“Well, by float I kind of meant like…yeah, you know maybe I kind of exaggerated that a little,” you gave him a sheepish smile.

Chan pressed his lips together in an attempt to stifle his laugh, nodding as you felt him grasp your wrists.

“Do you trust me?” he asked, and you didn’t even have time to feel embarrassed at how quickly you nodded.

I mean, you let this man near your face with a needle, it was a little too late to say you didn’t trust him at this point.

Angling your body so your side was facing him, you felt his hand go behind your back, “relax,” he let out an amused huff, making you sigh, nodding as you tried your best to relax your muscles.

“Now, just like, lean back, and make sure you look up.”

You did as you were told, keeping your hands by your side and your head up facing the sky, all the while feeling his hands behind your back supporting you, a strange feeling of calm washing over you as you looked at the sky which was beginning to set.

Chan noticed it too, the way he felt you relax under his touch, enjoying how calm you looked now, happy that he could share this experience with you.

After you decided you were calm enough, you leaned forward, Chan’s hands instinctively going to the nape of your neck  to steady you as you got up, with you ending up facing him, his hand still gently cupping the nape of your neck, his other hand finding its way onto your waist.

“How was it?” he breathed, a hint of a smile playing at his lips.

“I think I get why you like doing that…it felt…nice,” you murmured, “have you thought of it yet?”

Chan nodded, a strange feeling building within him that he could only describe as warmth, feeling as though something in him was drawing him closer to you without him knowing.

“It’s kind of like...calling you after a long day,” a shy giggle leaving his lips after his statement.

Your breath hitched, the feeling of receiving such personal information rendering you at a loss of words. Unconsciously, there was a feeling of want building inside of you when you could see Chan leaning in, your head unconsciously tilting upwards, not daring to close your eyes yet, and his lips were barely inches away from yours, so close that you really thought that Chan was going to kiss you in the middle of this lake.

Though just as his other hand had went under the water to touch your waist gently, you figured the universe had decided it wasn’t time yet.

“Guys! I’m back! You guys can go shower now!” you jumped when you heard Jisung’s voice, immediately moving away so you could put some distance between you and Chan.

Chan brought his hands up to his ears, pressing and rubbing them firmly, getting out of the lake first to help you get out of the water, all the while Jisung had been eyeing you suspiciously.

The walk back was otherwise silent, with Jisung going off to disturb Felix and Hyunjin while you took a shower. Once you were done, you took your time drying your hair, seeing a text from Jisung come in asking you to hurry up.

Walking over to the barbecue pit you noticed Chan had taken over for Felix, grilling the meat with an ease that had let you know just how much he’d probably done it before.

“That smells really good,” you hummed, seeing Chan look up from the grill to give you a shy smile, nodding at you.

“D’you want some?” he asked, holding a small piece he’d just cut between the tongs, blowing on it before holding it out for you, a hand cupped underneath in case it fell.

Feeling Hyunjin’s gaze on you, as well as Felix and Jisung, you felt put on the spot, leaning over to take the piece between your teeth, letting out a satisfied hum at the taste.

“Alright, sorry to interrupt your…whatever this is, but we’re gonna steal Y/N for a while, so bye,” Jisung waved, linking his arm around your elbow and dragging you away with a very giggly Felix.

“Okay, let’s begin the meeting,” Felix announced authoritatively once you were seated at the campfire area. Jisung joined in on the joke smoothly, “okay, I’ll take minutes.”

“Why am I here, again?” You sighed, fiddling with the side of the foldable chair you were sitting on, crossing your legs to get into a more comfortable position.

Felix giggled, shaking his head before continuing, “important question, what do you think of Chan?”

You scrunched your nose up in distaste, “how am I supposed to answer that objectively?” You whined, seeing Felix nod encouragingly at you.

“No, no, that’s the point! I want you to be as subjective as possible.”

You hummed, “well, I don’t know, I guess, he’s really nice…and considerate?” Most of the time, at least. “He’s…cute? Like you know, the whole…dimples and all,” you shrugged, shuddering at how foreign it felt for you to actually list out the attributes you liked in Chan.

“He’s a real geek too, which is kind of cute, and all,” you mumbled, grimacing at them as a silent plea for them to end your misery.

“If,” Jisung emphasised, “you knew he liked you and whatever, would you get into a relationship with him?”

Felix made an impressed face at Jisung, “oh, that’s a good one. Chan doesn’t really date a lot,” He jut his lips out thoughtfully.

“I guess…I would? I mean,” you hummed in thought, “from what I’ve experienced, I feel like I can trust him? That’s the vibe I get when I’m with him or when we like, you know, call... and all?”

Felix’s lips pulled into a pout, “I feel like we need to call in an expert for this.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, “huh? Who?”

Felix tapped his phone, setting it back down and giving you a cheeky smile, the playful glint in his eyes making you nervous.

And you should’ve been, because when you saw Hyunjin walking over you knew you were either in for an interrogation or a whole lot of teasing.

“Alright, Chan’s just setting the table so we don’t have long, what’s up?” Hyunjin nodded his head at Felix, hands in his pockets and a bored expression on his face.

“Has Chan been behaving strange…or like just..different lately?” Jisung asked, making Hyunjin look directly at you, narrowing his eyes at you in realisation.

“I knew it! I knew there was something up,” he cried, making you shush him in fear that Chan would hear.

“What are you talking about?” you shushed him.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, plopping himself on the seat next to Jisung.

“Let me just tell you,” he sighed deeply, “Chan has been so weird recently. He gets shy at even the slightest mention of you, and don’t think I don’t see how he’s been on his phone more lately.”

“I’ve noticed a great increase in thirst traps as well,” Jisung said seriously, clasping his hands together as if he were a reporter.

“Exactly my point!” Hyunjin told Jisung, “my bet, is that he’s been trying to get your attention but he’s doing it in the only way he knows how and that’s being a flirty bitch,” he said simply, leaning back with a nonchalant shrug.

Jisung nodded slowly, turning to Hyunjin, “I didn’t really like you at first...but can I just say...I love you.”

You brushed him off quickly, “are you sure, though? ‘Cause like, I’ve been telling myself for a long time now that I didn’t wanna read too deep into his actions,” you winced.

“Honestly, the best piece of advice I can give you right now is to just read into it.” Hyunjin told you, earning vigorous nods from Jisung and Felix.

“We should probably be heading back now, before Chan starts to get suspicious,” Felix murmured.

This made Hyunjin giggle, “yeah, I told him I was coming here to call you guys.”

Upon reaching back to the small barbecue area, you saw that Chan was already seated, giving you a soft smile when he spotted you.

“Food smells great, thanks guys,” Jisung sighed in satisfaction, him, Felix and Hyunjin having shared some sort of unspoken agreement to let Chan sit next to you, unbeknownst to you.


Suppressing the tension in you that you were feeling whenever Chan had reached over to put things on your plate, you had started eating, all of them falling silent when they ate, which you didn’t mind. But you knew Jisung did, and you wished you could disappear when he’d broken the silence.

“How’s your ear healing?” He asked pointedly over a mouthful of food, earning a confused hum from Felix, whose hand went up to his own ear with a frown.

“Ear? Who’s ear?” Felix followed Jisung’s gaze and realised you had a new piercing on your ear, his eyes widening, “woah, when did you get that done? It looks great! Dude, doesn’t it look great?”

He nudged Chan with his foot, making the older boy turn to you, nodding blankly, though his ears had started to grow redder with every second.

“I did it for her,” he shrugged, his casual demeanour making Felix nod slowly, a small smile appearing on his face as he gave Chan a knowing look.

“Thought you usually let Hyunjin do piercings?” Felix questioned pointedly, amusement laced in his tone.

Chan simply shrugged, pretending to be occupied with his food, “yeah, not always.”

You glared at Felix, telepathically asking him what he was trying to do, seeing him do a little happy dance in his seat, pretending not to notice your glare.

“Are we gonna set up the campfire after this?” Hyunjin asked, seeming to have taken pity on you, earning nods and hums in response. 


“We need to get the firewood from the back first,” Jisung mentioned, giving you a particularly pointed look.

You raised your eyebrows, trying to figure out what he was trying to imply before you realised.

“I can go get it later,” you offered (curse peer pressure), missing the way Hyunjin and Felix looked at Chan, exchanging triumphant looks when Chan had cleared his throat.

“I can go with you, it’s too much to carry on your own,” he proposed smoothly, his gaze meeting yours and his tongue darting out to wet his lips.

“Enjoy your date,” Jisung coughed, making you roll your eyes. You hoped the campfire would be over quickly.

While the rest of them were clearing up and setting up the snacks, you and Chan had gone to go get the firewood.

You would’ve usually found the silence to be quite soothing, with the way you could hear the crickets chirping and the gentle swishing of the lake, not to mention the way the air had gotten cooler from when you’d arrived. However, something about your discussion from just now had made your thoughts spiral into an endless cycle of trying to figure out what every one of his actions meant.

“Are you alright?” You asked abruptly after you noticed he wasn’t making any move to start any conversation.

“What makes you ask that?” He let out a small amused huff.

“I don’t know.. you know, like, Hyunjin told me just now in the car that you didn’t get much sleep these days and stuff…”

Chan gasped, holding his hand up to his mouth in exaggerated shock, “are you actually…worried for me?” He teased.

Scoffing, you ignored his giggles as you replied, “of course, I was. You slept like a log for the whole car ride,” you grit your teeth with feigned annoyance at him.

Chan shook his head calmly, not being able to help the smile from his face at your concern. “Honestly, you don’t have to worry about me. I mean, this is my job. I know that there will be times where I have to be tired to know that i’m moving forward, you know?” He shrugged, making you frown.

“That’s…true, I guess,” you murmured, seeing him step before you to open what looked like a garage door, seeing the firewood there, letting him pass some to you, “but you know…I couldn’t help but worry.”

Chan let out a surprised hum, taking a bunch of firewood in his arms, letting the door fall closed before he locked it back.

“Why? Did you think I wouldn’t take care of myself?” He asked, a small smirk on his face.

You nodded, “obviously, yes.”

Chan shrugged, “guess you have no choice but to take care of me, then.”

Your breath hitched, almost letting your firewood slip from your arms. Regaining your composure with a scoff, you ignored the way he giggled at your flustered expression.

Straightening up, you huffed at him, clenching your firewood tighter, “you’ve got to stop saying things like that.”

“Why?”

“Just….because,” you struggled to form a proper answer, knowing you couldn’t just expose yourself now, thankful that you were already reaching the campfire site.

Felix gave you guys a big wave when he saw you approaching them, cupping his hands around his mouth before yelling, “took you long enough!”

After struggling to light the fire, you’d sat in between Chan and Hyunjin, the warmth from the fire slightly uncomfortable but soothed by the soft wind blowing against your face and neck.

You were surprised to see how fast the sun set here, but strangely it put you in a calmer mood, maybe it was because you couldn’t see as much but you didn’t push the feeling away.

“Here,” you were interrupted from your stargazing when you saw a stick with a roasted marshmallow attached to the tip in front of you.

Looking at it hesitantly, you made a slight sound of uncertainty, feeling too full from your meal for snacks.

Shaking your head no, he gasped, “you have to try them, it’ll be good, I promise,” he nodded encouragingly at you.

Chan brought the stick closer to your lips, and you’d wanted to take it from him but it was already almost pressing against your lips, so you’d given up, ignoring Jisung’s smirk and taking the marshmallow into your mouth.

You gave a small hum at the sweetness, not having expected it to be so soft, smiling unconsciously when you saw the grin that he gave you after seeing your reaction.

After talking with the guys about their stories from the past whenever they came here, well, by they you meant Hyunjin and Chan, but you enjoyed the stories nonetheless. Something about the area holding more of an attractive charm to you.

After some time had passed and the sky had gotten even darker than before, you didn’t miss the way Chan had gotten quieter as time passed, simply smiling along with the stories but his eyes doing nothing to hide his fatigue.

Figuring it was about time to call it a day, you turned to Jisung to mouth ‘I’m tired’.

Jisung gave you a look that mirrored yours, nodding. Thankfully, he’d already made to stand up, Chan turning to give him a curious look.

“Hey, we’re gonna call it a day, you guys are free to continue hanging out if you want,” the rest of the boys nodded, Chan turning to you with a tired smile, reminding you of the car ride you shared, the look on his face making you want to just reach over and cup his cheeks, refraining from doing so by standing up abruptly, nodding.

“Goodnight, sweetie,” he smiled, eyes turning to crescents, making you smile in spite of your embarrassment, practically having to pull Jisung along with you back to the cabin with how much he was giggling.

Flopping onto the bed and getting ready to sleep afterwards, you’d feelt Jisung slip into the bed next to you, turning to face you with narrowed eyes.

“Don’t think I didn’t see what was happening at the lake just now,” he muttered, not being able to help the smile from his face.

“What exactly did you see?” you asked, just wanting to be sure he wasn’t just lying to make you admit to things (as usual).

“Oh yeah? Don’t act as if I didn’t see all of this,” he grabbed the pillow, grasping and looking at it with a hooded gaze, leaning closer only to pull back abruptly, directing his wide-eyed glare at you.

Jisung’s expression soon changed to one that was sheepish, “actually now that i’m thinking of it, maybe I shouldn’t have interrupted you guys,” he hummed, “but maybe it was a good thing too, if not I wouldn’t know what time you guys would return to the cabin,” he snickered, making you scoff.

Rolling your eyes, you’d reached past him to turn off the bedside lamp, “night, Jisung,” you sighed, for lack of a better retort.

You knew Jisung better than to have expected him to reply normally, rolling your eyes when you heard him muster a scarily accurate impression of Chan, “night, sweetie.”

“Shut up, Jisung.”

===

You weren’t sure what time it was, but all you knew was that when you woke up Jisung was still in bed snoring. Carefully stepping out so you wouldn’t wake him, you stepped out of bed, spotting Felix already huddled around the tv there with Hyunjin.  

“Morning,” Felix greeted, making Hyunjin turn around to greet you with a nod as well.

“Uh-huh,” you yawned, dragging yourself over to them. “What’s the plan for today?”

“Hyunjin and I thought it’d be a fun idea for us to play games today, and since it’s only a few of us I thought it’d be a good chance for you and Chan to, you know…” Felix dropped his voice to a whisper, “bond.”

“Jisung would love that,” you shook your head in dread, your thoughts wandering back to Chan, about to ask where he was.

“He went for a run, if that’s what you’re wondering,” Hyunjin told you with an amused lilt to his tone, making you flush in embarrassment.

“What makes you think I was wondering that?” you scoffed, tilting your chin up defiantly at him, your gaze looking him up and down for added intimidation (not that Hyunjin cared, of course).

Hyunjin merely shrugged, giggling, “pretty sure you know the answer to that yourself.”

You left them in the living room to go take a shower, sitting on the bed when you were done, shaking Jisung awake gently.

Jisung groaned, his hands coming up to rub his eyes, “what time is it?”

“Almost one, please get up. Felix and Hyunjin said we’re gonna play some bonding games today,” you sighed, laughing when you saw the way he stretched his arms out above his head, his eyes scrunching shut.

“Bonding games?” he whined, “the hell? I feel like I’m at a school camp,” he whined.

“He says the winner gets to dine free at peaches for a month,” he perked up at that, sitting up in bed.

“A very good school camp,” he corrected, an impressed hum leaving his lips.

Rolling your eyes, you saw him get up, moving to go to the bathroom to wash up, “I’m gonna go find things to eat,” you hummed, hearing him grunt in response, which you took as your cue to leave, stepping out of the room and walking to the kitchen area.

Fortunately or unfortunately for you, Chan was there, standing leaning against the counter in all of his post-workout glory, dressed in another black sleeveless shirt and shorts, sipping water and using his phone.

“Morning, sweetie,” he greeted with a smile, strangely making you nervous, suddenly unable to make eye contact with him.

“Heard from Hyunjin that we’re staying in the cabin today?” he asked, bringing his water bottle up to his lips to take a long sip.

You nodded, and as if on cue, Felix had entered the house, pushing his damp-looking hair away from his forehead as he walked over to where you were.

“It’s starting to rain outside, so I don’t think outdoor activities are much of an option right now,” he gestured out the window.

Following his gaze to the window you realized that it really was raining, the droplets slowly decorating the window.

“There’s a few board games near the fireplace, we can just play with those,” Chan gestured to the living room and Felix nodded, already making his way over.

“I’m gonna go shower, you guys can start first if you’re all ready,” he called before walking off leaving you and Felix in the living room to fish out the board games from the cupboard. You were surprised to find that they were still in good condition, not having expected them to be anything but dusty after being kept in the cupboard for god-knows-how-long.

“Okay, so we have a few options,” Felix murmured, picking up the games as he spoke, “there’s ‘uno’, there’s ‘monopoly deal’, whatever this is, ‘clue’..” he trailed off once he didn’t recognize whatever the rest of the games were.

“I’m leaning towards ‘uno’,” Felix hummed, considering the games as seriously as you’d ever seen him, not even looking away when you heard one of the doors open, Jisung making his way over to where you guys were, Hyunjin following behind him with a yawn.

“What are those?” Jisung asked.

“Board games, come here, take a look,” you beckoned him and Hyunjin over, seeing them bring a few games of their choice over to the coffee table, the four of you taking your places naturally at each side of the table.

“Should we decide on lunch first? I’m hungry,” Hyunjin suggested, whining and patting his stomach like a child.

Felix had raised his phone up at that, a smug look on his face, “I ordered us some pizza just now because I saw that they delivered here.”

You sighed at the thought of food as you thanked Felix, beginning to grow peckish at the thought of food, directing your attention towards the television in your attempt to find a distraction.

“Does that tv work?” You asked, seeing Hyunjin nod, leaning his arms on the coffee table to support his head as he waited for Felix to distribute the cards in his clumsy, Felix way.

“I watched some movies on it this morning, they’ve only been playing Christmas movies though, the channels are pretty limited.”

“I’m fine with Christmas movies,” you hummed, Jisung sighing deeply beside you.

“I wish it was Christmas.”

Changing your location to the sofa, you made yourself comfortable as Felix chose the channel, Jisung insisting on dimming the lights for the living room to look more cozy, after which he made his way over to where you were seated on the sofa.

“Can I sit here,” Jisung pointed next to you with a pointed look, “or did you already reserve it for your boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?”

Jisung’s head snapped around to see Chan coming into the living room, dressed in a baby blue sweater and black sweatpants, his hair slightly damp and messy on his head. The sight of his smirk flustering you into fixing your gaze on the television.

Jisung’s mouth clamped shut quickly, shaking his head dismissively as Hyunjin struggled to stifle a laugh.

Chan had ‘let’ Jisung sit on the sofa next to you, seating himself on the space on the floor between the coffee table and the sofa in front of where you sat, his proximity causing you to pick up the hint of cologne he was wearing.

“Oh, Christmas movies! Nice,” Chan commented, earning a ‘I know right?’ from Felix, meanwhile Jisung was wiggling his eyebrows at you, using his index finger and thumb to pinch his sweater and pointing at Chan, which you figured was Jisung’s sign language for ‘doesn’t he look good in that sweater?’

Ignoring Jisung for the sake of your sanity, the uno cards went ignored as the group of you focused on the movie. Something about the mood of the movie served to put you in a calm mood, ( or maybe it was Chan’s presence, you couldn’t tell ) so much so that you didn’t realise how quickly time passed until you heard a knock at the door.

You wouldn’t know this but Chan was thankful for his seat in front of you, figuring that if he were seated next to you he wouldn’t have been able to think about anything other than putting his arm around you or something cheesy like that.

Jumping up quickly, Felix offered to take the pizza, coming back to the living room with the boxes and a too-large bottle of sofa, placing it onto the coffee table with a harsh thud.

Hyunjin was quick to start eating, and Chan had turned his head around to look at you, shifting to the left to make space for you on the floor. You know, just out of his consideration.

Giving him an appreciative nod, you reached over to take a slice, not missing the way Chan poured drinks for everyone, silently doing things for them to take care of them, something about it making your heart swell just a little bit more.

“Can we play a game after this? The movie’s getting kind of boring,” Jisung frowned, his tone extra desperate, you should’ve known his intentions when he’d waited until Chan wasn’t looking to shoot you a wink.

Shrugging and murmurs of ‘yeah why not’ or ‘sure’s sounded among the group, Felix turning to Chan with a knowing look on his face.

“This one’s really competitive when it comes to games,” he gestured at Chan with his pizza crust.

Chan lowered his head, a shy smile on his face, his clean hand coming up to touch his ear, though he made no effort to deny Felix’s accusation.

“Really?” You asked, hoping you hadn’t replied too quickly, seeing Hyunjin nod gravely at you.

“I thought I was competitive but that was until I swam with him,” Hyunjin said with a raise of his eyebrows, shaking his head.

“It’s your fault for thinking you could go against him, you of all people knew he won all those medals in the past,” Felix laughed, making Hyunjin let out a stubborn huff.

“Medals?” Jisung hummed thoughtfully, nudging you with his knee.

“Yeah, I was in a lot of swimming competitions when I was younger,” Chan told you, a rather embarrassed expression on his face.

“A lot,” Felix echoed, a strange feeling building inside you from the new-found information, something in you finding the thought of baby Chan swimming absolutely endearing.

“Enough about me,” Chan waved his hand in dismissal, “let’s just play, okay?” Chan changed the topic quickly, making Jisung jeer but moving to clear the table nonetheless.

Once you were all done clearing up and washing your hands, Jisung having made sure to occupy a lot more space so it left you and Chan with little space, you’d returned to the living room, seeing they’d already laid out different games on the table.

You realized they’d decided on playing uno first, leaning over to Jisung with an urgency to your gaze.

“Why are we playing this?” you whispered harshly, panic in your eyes, earning a snort from Jisung, who shielded his cards from you almost immediately. Talk about friendship.

“I’m not teaching it to you again, you never listen to me,” he scolded you, making you frown as he pushed your stack of cards towards you, “face your fate, loser.”

The game had started, all of them seeming to know what was going on, and you hoped it wouldn’t be too obvious that you didn’t know what you were doing, always having to clarify if what you were doing was correct before putting it down, and it was no surprise that you were always at the brunt of the ‘+’ cards, Chan noticing not long into the game that you weren’t necessarily going in with a strategy.

“Uno!” You heard Felix shout, followed by Chan, and you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

“Wait, so do you win?” you mumbled, your hand coming up to touch your deck anxiously, peering at the middle stack of cards in confusion.

Chan laughed, “not yet, we still have to clear the last card.”

Nodding slowly, you simply followed the flow of the game, already having given up on winning, especially when Hyunjin yelped, Chan setting down his last card with a triumphant grin on his face.

Your lips parted in shock, about to set your cards down to reshuffle when you heard Jisung call out, “Second best!” and the game proceeded.

Chan leant back and rested his weight on his hands, tilting his head and peering over at your hand, a small giggle leaving him at the neat arrangement of the cards by colour and value.

You lifted the card of your choice slightly, showing it to him, silently asking what he thought, and he leant over to tell you which ones you could put down, and as you continued you were shocked at the rapid rate your hand was decreasing in number.

Your breath hitched, body tensing slightly when Chan had rest a arm on your shoulder, not having noticed how close he was to you until now ( and neither had he ), his left hand going up to either direct you or place the card down for you.

“Why does this feel so different from how I usually play?” you marvelled as he’d basically played for you.

“Maybe because Chan actually knows what he’s doing,” Jisung snickered, earning chuckles from Felix and Hyunjin as you scoffed.

As if by some miracle, Chan had helped you win the second place, earning protests from Felix who insisted that it doesn’t count because Chan played for you, to which you ignored, obviously.

Demanding for a break to regain his composure, Jisung had slumped against the sofa in defeat, and you’d almost instinctively reached over to nudge him when you realised Chan’s arm was still weighing on your shoulder.

He shifted his arm, bringing his hand up to push your hair away from your ear, “sorry, d’you mind? Just wanna check if it’s healing alright.”

You nodded, your gaze following Felix leaving to get more snacks, Hyunjin eyeing you suspiciously.

“Was it alright after we went swimming yesterday?”

You nodded, trying to ignore the way Jisung was tucking his hair behind his ear obviously behind Chan, batting his eyes at you.

“I think you can give it a few more weeks and it should be all healed,” he nodded, bringing his hand off of your shoulder, an unreadable expression on his face, which only served to make you more nervous. Chan wasn’t sure why he’d done this to himself, the urge to just bring you somewhere away from the boys and kiss you starting to become a little suffocating.

"I should probably still visit you, right? Just to be sure,” you murmured, averting your gaze to the bracelet on his wrist.

Chan smiled, his eyebrows lifting slightly in amusement, “you don’t need an excuse to come and see me… ”

And just like that, you dared yourself to meet his gaze again, instantly regretting your action when you saw the way Chan was glancing between your eyes and your lips, the giddy feeling building within you almost making you forget that Hyunjin and Jisung were in the room.

The boys wouldn’t have this, of course, and they’d made their presence known, Jisung’s loud cough making Chan’s gaze dart up, and in your shock you’d immediately put some distance between the both of you, flushing from how reckless you’d almost been. This wasn’t like you.

Standing up, you excused yourself to go to the washroom, Chan seeming to have regained his composure fairly quickly judging by the giggle that had escaped him from seeing how flustered you were.

“Hello?” Hyunjin chided, “we’re still here, you know.”

Chan sighed, “unfortunately.”

This made Jisung gasp, “that’s gross,” he shivered exaggeratedly, turning to Hyunjin, “speaking of which, when should we start heading back?”

Hyunjin glanced at the time as Felix was making his way back to the living room, “I think we can play one or two more games before we start to leave, we already packed up the rest of our stuff last night after you and Y/N went to sleep.”

“I’ve got this family dinner tonight, so I don’t think i’ll be joining you guys for dinner,” Felix pouted, earning a grunt of acknowledgement from Hyunjin.

Jisung pursed his lips, looking as though he were about to say something, finally relaxing his shoulders and shrugging, "I have no excuse. I just want to go home and sleep.”

“What about you, Chan?” Hyunjin asked, earning a shrug from the older boy. “Don’t you still have to finish up that design for next week?” Hyunjin prompted, referring to the client that Chan had been specially dealing with recently.

Chan shook his head, “that can wait till tomorrow,” he sighed.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, you’d splashed your face with water, hoping that you could lessen the heat you felt from your previous encounter with Chan. Giving yourself a resolute stare in the mirror as you convinced yourself that your cheeks totally weren’t pink right now.

After much convincing, you decided you were spending a little too much time in the washroom, returning to the living room at a reluctant pace, nervous at the sight of the boys all seated there talking and laughing.

“Did you show Jisung that thigh piece you did for that girl?” your eyes widened at Hyunjin’s question.

Thigh piece? You’d reminded yourself that tattoos could be anywhere, even places you would be too flustered to let Chan touch.

Chan was the first to notice that you were back, shooting you an amused smirk once you were seated next to him.

“Are you..better?” he teased, making you roll your eyes, waving him off.

“What are you guys talking about?” you asked, curious yet scared of your possible discovery.

“Chan did this sick piece for this girl, it was huge, it took him like 3 days,” Hyunjin said, words speeding up in his excitement as he took his phone out to show you the design.

Hyunjin had shoved his phone at Felix first, earning a low sound of approval from Felix, “wow, this is so cool.”

You grew more curious as the phone was passed to Jisung, all the while Chan simply smiled shyly, dimples appearing in his satisfaction that his work was being appreciated.

“This whole thing?! Where did she get it on?” Jisung exclaimed, making you furrow your eyebrows, suspicion rising.

Jisung shoved Hyunjin’s phone before you, and you saw a large detailed work that looked like a lady you would see in those scary lara croft movies.

Your eyes widened, a part of you feeling a little intimidated by the image.

“She said she wanted something that was like... a little creepy with like tomb raider vibes so I just went with it,” Chan explained, making you nod thoughtfully, hoping your shock wasn’t too obvious.

“You didn’t answer the question about the placement, though,” Felix spoke up with a curious lilt to his tone, looking down at his thigh and trying to mark out with his hand possible areas to place a tattoo like that.

“It’s a little hard to describe, we spent a while discussing but we eventually decided that we’d put it somewhere here,” Chan leaned over to Felix who had his leg already stretched out, placing a hand at the side of Felix’s upper thigh, marking an area that covered a little bit of the butt and most of the side of his thigh.

“It was crazy, the details were really amazing,” Hyunjin let out a low whistle.

“Thanks,” Chan laughed, making you scrunch your nose, your first thought being how the process would be like, knowing whoever was getting the tattoo would have to be showing quite a bit of skin to get it done. Since when were you so uptight? Snap out of it, it was just a tattoo on her thigh, no big deal.

Though you couldn’t help but turn to Jisung, lowering your volume to a discreet murmur.  

“Does that mean she had to take off her pants?!” you whispered harshly, making Jisung burst into a bout of hearty laughter.

“Is that your concern? because I mean, it’s not like Chan’s gonna tattoo her clothes, right?” Jisung’s chest heaved with how hard he was laughing, his statement catching Chan’s attention, said boy turning to you with an amused look.

“What’s wrong, baby? Are you shy?”

Jisung squealed, and you pitied Hyunjin for sitting next to Jisung because now he was the victim of Jisung’s hits.

You sucked in a sharp breath, feigning confidence by glaring at Chan, though on the inside you already knew you were more than flustered from his comment, wondering what gave him the audacity to be so bold.

“Mayhaps…” Hyunjin gave you a teasing smirk, “jealous?”

Felix’s eyes widened, excitedly tapping his leg in anticipation.

“Shut up,” you waved your hands, shooting a look at Chan, “I’m going to get water,” you murmured, starting to get up when you saw Chan stand up as well.

“I’ll go too,” he said, raising his hands up in defence when he saw you turn around to glare at him, “what? I just wanna look at what snacks we can bring back.”

Sighing, you let him follow behind you to the kitchen, pouring yourself a glass of water while he rummaged in the cupboards for snacks that caught his eye.

Lowering your voice to a murmur so the boys wouldn’t hear, you grit your teeth, “I told you you have to stop saying things like that,” you muttered, holding your glass of water to your lips and leaning against the kitchen counter.

Chan made a confused sound, closing the cupboard while he had a few bags of snacks in his hand, “stuff like what?”

You shot him a look, “you know what i’m talking about. Look, I know it might be fun or whatever for you to flirt but it’s gonna be your problem when I start… feeling some way about it,” you snapped, annoyance taking over you at how even at this moment you still managed to find Chan absolutely attractive.

Chan looked at you with a soft smile on his face, raising his eyebrows slightly at you, “go ahead.” He took a step towards you, making you furrow your eyebrows.

“What?”

Chan moved closer so he was just about to walk past you, leaning over so his lips were barely touching your ear, and it took you every inch of willpower in you not to flinch away.

“I want it to make you feel something,” he murmured, walking back into the living room nonchalantly after that, leaving you stunned in the kitchen.

“Y/N get your things! We’re leaving soon!” You heard Jisung’s voice snap you from your trance, nodding to yourself and finishing the rest of your water and walking over to your shared room with Jisung.

“Dude! Chan is stressing me out,” you whisper-shouted once you entered the room, seeing Jisung turn around like a deer caught in the headlights.

“What did he say?”

You recounted what happened in the kitchen to Jisung, who was an excited wreck after you were done, clenching his fists next to his head in his sheer inability to contain his excitement.

“He totally likes you, it’s so obvious at this point, what more is there to think about?” he told you matter-of-factly.

Sucking in a sharp breath, carrying your bag on your shoulder and squeezing your eyes shut before opening your eyes harshly, you shook your head.

“I don’t know what the hell I’m gonna say to him when I see him at peaches… can we change our spot?” You shot Jisung a look, though the both of you knew you had no plans whatsoever to change cafes.

“Hey, don’t worry, you’ll be fine.”

Surprisingly, that served to be of some consolation for you during the dead silence on the ride back, Chan having fallen asleep again but this time he’d leant against the window so that saved you from more stress, you guessed.

Hyunjin had dropped Felix off at his house for  his family dinner first, followed by Jisung who was insistent on wanting to sleep.

You remembered Chan mentioning to Hyunjin at the start of the ride that he wanted to head to the shop after dinner so you didn’t bother waking him up when you’d reached your house, figuring he should get as much sleep as he can if he was going to be working later on, choosing to text him instead.

5:57pm -hey, didn’t wanna wake u just now so ill say bye to u here instead haha-

Once you were home, you couldn’t help but wonder if Chan was going to call you again today, like how he usually did. But after almost applying shampoo on your body in your distraction you’d decided not to make yourself too anxious about it, choosing to tidy up your house and watch movies to kill time since you wanted to enjoy the rest of your holiday while you could.

Thanks to a little too many romantic comedies, you’d successfully forgotten you were waiting for Chan to call you, already halfway through devouring your ice-cream sundae when you’d startled at the sound of your phone ringing.

Peeking at the caller id, you were almost embarrassed at how quickly you’d answered once you saw Chan’s contact name, putting the phone on speaker on your lap.

“Hey,” you heard him murmur, his tone soft and gentle, yet there was something about it that sounded a little on edge, “hope I didn’t interrupt you when you were about to sleep or anything.”

You shook your head, “oh, no, not at all, I was just... chilling,” you shrugged, picking up your remote to turn the volume down on your tv.

“Are you home?” He asked you, earning an affirmative hum from you.

“You?”

“Nah, I left the shop a short while ago… ”

You wracked your brain for a response, your mind running wild imagining all the possible ways the conversation could go.

Was he going to ask you about what happened in the kitchen? Or should you have asked him instead?

Whatever it was, the longer you kept silent, the more your heart picked up speed, a part of you growing desperate to confront him and just ask him about it over the phone because you knew you wouldn’t have to face him in real life if you did— no matter how cowardly it was of you.

“Oh, please be careful, it’s really late,” you murmured, wincing at your shitty reply.

You heard him huff on the other line, “oh, yeah. Totally… don’t scold me but…I feel a lot better after hearing your voice.”

Stunned into silence, you were unsure how to react, a nervous laugh leaving your lips, “list—”

“Can—” you’d spoken simultaneously, a laugh escaping you. 


“You go first,” you insisted, scooping the last bits of your ice cream up as you waited anxiously.

“I was actually wondering uh… can we talk? I’m almost at your house.”

Your eyes widened, glancing at the door in shock, placing your ice cream down on the table haphazardly.

“Oh, uh, yeah sure. Of course we can, gimme a sec,” you said, hurriedly putting on the jacket you had draped over the sofa next to you since you weren’t wearing a bra, hearing the knock at your door when you hadn’t even finished slipping your arm through the sleeve yet.

“Just a minute!” You shouted, hanging up the call and jogging over to the door, opening it to reveal Chan.

You’d tensed up almost instantly, the time of the night coupled with  something about the way the light from your house hit him making him look like he was glowing.

“Hey,” you breathed, seeing him give you a close-lipped smile. “Come in,” you ushered him in, closing the door behind him, though he stayed at your door, looking almost scared to walk any further.

“I’m sorry, again, for coming so unannounced it’s just that… this has been, you know, weighing on my mind for the longest time and after what happened in the kitchen earlier today I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry,” he blurted, his hand coming up to grasp the back of his neck, letting go and letting his hand fall back to his side.

You hoped you didn’t look too dumbfounded.

“Sorry? For what?”

“Nah, like… I was thinking about it just now and I realised that I never thought about how I could be like, you know, imposing my feelings on you and I know that just because I feel a certain way doesn’t mean you have to feel the same way and I just felt really bad because I never meant to put you on the spot or—”

“Chan, calm down,” you laughed, hands naturally going up to his shoulders to rub them reassuringly.

He nodded, meeting your gaze and sucking in a sharp breath before sighing deeply, “you know what? I’m just gonna say it. I’m sorry, in advance. Just so you know, you can reject me, i’m perfectly fine with it. I just have to tell you this before I lose my mind,” he huffed, heaving another sigh.

“I know it’s no secret but… I like you Y/N.”

Your eyes widened, your smile growing bigger, unable to help yourself because of how endearing it felt to see Chan who usually looked so intimidating and confident suddenly become this rambling wreck before you.

“Me too,” you nodded, suddenly feeling more confident now that you knew how he felt, the knowledge spurring you on.

“I’m sorry—wait, you do?”

You nodded, “I’m surprised you couldn’t tell, I did for a while now… ”

Chan let out a relieved sigh, and you felt his shoulders relax under your touch, his hands going up to cover yours which were placed on his shoulders, grasping them gently, his hands cold to the touch.

“Thank—now I’m glad I came here. I thought hearing your voice would be enough but now that I’m here I’m thinking, seeing you…” his hands peeled yours away from his shoulders, interlocking his fingers with yours, “feeling you,” he took a step closer to you, so close that you could feel the warmth radiating from him.

“Is so much better,” he muttered.

It was as if you were transported back to the lake, with the way you felt him leaning closer to you, and taking a step back, you felt your back hit the door gently, his thumbs smoothing over the back of your hands, making you giggle.

“So, I take it as I’ll be receiving more… ‘dinner offers’?” You said, mustering your last bit of confidence.

Chan let out an amused huff, taking his lower lip between his teeth gently and shaking his head at you. Leaning down, Chan brought your hands up to press them against the door on either side of your head, his head dipping down to your neck, pressing a kiss to your neck, the way just the smallest of gasps left you making him smile.

“You really… drive me crazy, sweetie,” he murmured, the smile practically evident in his tone.

Moving his head higher, he pressed a soft kiss to your jaw, the cold metal of his lip ring making you shiver, pulling away so he was face-to-face with you.

“May I?” He smiled, and you’d wished you could have cupped his face and kissed him right there, and it seemed as though he’d read your mind, letting go of your hands.

Once he did so, you’d taken the opportunity to cup the sides of his face, your hands closer to his ears, pulling him closer and pressing your lips against his.

Feeling Chan smile into the kiss, you’d almost shivered at the feeling of his hands going to your shoulders before running them down slowly to your waist, deepening the kiss as he gave your waist a small squeeze, making you utter a surprised sound, sighing into the kiss as you felt his hands going down to grasp your hips.

“Ice cream?” he hummed after you’d felt him lick your lower lip, making you scoff, not knowing how to respond to him, which had only served to further amuse him.  

Feeling confident, he pulled away only slightly (eliciting a rather disappointed sound from you), surprising you when you felt his teeth nip lightly at your lips, making you pull away, cheeks flushing.

“So,” you ignored his comment, pulling away in your shock, seeing him tilt his head at you with a giddy smile on his face, as if he hadn’t just done whatever he did in the past minute, “I take that as a yes?”

Chan hummed, pressing a hand against your back and pulling you closer to him so your chest was flush against his, smirking at the way your hands had almost come up to cover yourself.

“Kiss me again and I’ll tell you my answer.”

[daaziscoolbesties]

[REPOST] MY 2K WORD COMMENTARY/ANALYSIS OF RANBOO’S LORE STREAM

‼️‼️This post contains lore spoilers from Ranboo’s 4/23 stream, “The Enderwalk Saga. Chapter 1: The Lessons”. If you haven’t seen that stream don’t read ahead unless you want spoilers‼️‼️

disclaimer: this isnt really an analysis as much as a bunch of commentary and half-baked theories.

-on the way to the mansion he was sort of talking to himself saying stuff like "i'm good i'm good" which m a y be a normal thing but also maybe it's not and it flew over our heads cause he talks to chats and donos like that so often

-again, this one may just be a normal thing but when he was climbing up the stairs in the mansion looking for foolish, he repeats some of his words like down to the exact same tone of voice and everything. 12:42,  "this mansion is way too big actually. this mansion is way too big actually." (why the repeated actually? seems odd to me but again it might just be a normal thing that i haven't picked up on). (right after) "okay okay lemme find him lemme find him" again repeated words in the e x a c t same tone.

-does everyone know about ranboo's silk touch hands ability thing? or was that just a techno and ranboo main character moment. bc if it was, how would foolish know that ranboo could pick up the full cake after it'd been partially eaten. unless everyone on the sever knows about that in which case this means nothing. but if they d o n t know... how would foolish know? ranboo wrote about it in the do not read book so maybe if it's not a publicly known thing maybe foolish got his hands on the book and read it??

-14:53-ish, they're talking about the war room and how it was for tubbo or whatever and ranboo says, and i quote "he prepares for lore but he's never gonna do it." now funny thing is at first i couldn't tell if he said "war" like in reference to the war room or "lore". but after playing the clip over and over i can say with ALMOST 100% certainty that he said lore. there is a definite L sound at the beginning of the word. which either means a) this was a slip up (doubtful bc he said later that there were no mistakes), b) he broke the fourth wall because they were supposed to be rping at that point, or c) i'm completely wrong and he said "war" which leads down an entire other road of possibilities

-15:17 "are you a book reader?" "*checks inventory for do not read book* uh yeah i'd say i'm a book reader-" dunno how i didn't catch this the first time I HATE THAT DAMN BOOK

-15:18 there's blue in his hotbar. where did he get the blue.

-16:40 "it's like a metaphor- i have two minds: i have my normal self, my normal little shift-dancing self, and then the builder one. the builder one is demanding. it's a very demanding mind." ranboo then lets out a weird sigh after this. i feel like what foolish was talking about was an indirect(?) parallel to ranboo in and out of enderwalk, there's how he normally is, trying to do best for others, and then there's enderwalk, meeting up with bad guys and "demanding" things (its very late as i write this i really don't know what i'm talking about)

-17:11 "you have your panic closet" i'm sorry his what now 😀 no but seriously how the hell did i miss some of these

-18:04 "you're asking me if i remember?" very funny ranboo thank you for making jokes in these trying times

-18:25 WHY DID HE GET OUT THE AXE WHEN STARING AT THE BEE

-19:38 why did foolish hold the grass block- most of these observations probably mean nothing but- h u h - is that- i'm too tired for this

-19:54 "i never properly thanked you for the deal you made with me" so foolish got something out of this deal, we're not sure if ranboo did. "the green cardboard box" again do you mean dream's house- but seriously the only people i can think of on the server that are associated with green are dream and sam. and i have no idea what cardboard box could be referring to.  foolish got a lime colored shulker from drista

-20:30 "we're supposed to only talk about it at a certain location" hmm now where would that be? panic room maybe? cause like usually after doing a big thing in the enderwalk state ranboo wakes up in the panic room so maybe?  the deal was that they only talk about it in his house

-21:52 how does ranboo receive(?) the lessons? like are they whispered to him in his mind or is he seeing them as words in front of him like we see? hmm

-"Lesson 14: If you have the opportunity to gain a favor, take it." "gain a favor" don't you usually ask people for favors though? how does one "gain a favor"? anyways i'm pretty sure lesson 14 has to do with the deal foolish was talking about. (the deal explained because i now have info: at some point a bit ago foolish met up with ranboo and asked to make a deal, he'd gotten a shulker box from drista. the deal was that ranboo would have ownership of the box, it would be under his name but foolish rents/borrows it indefinitely. ranboo negotiated that if he took ownership of the box he would get a "war favor"  from foolish where if something happens that creates sides, ranboo can ask him a favor that could change his side. but why would foolish want ranboo to have ownership of the shulker you may ask? well i have an answer for you. a theory actually but still. basically since drista technically isn't supposed to give out shit on the server if someone where to have that stuff then they may get in trouble. foolish wants to be able to use the shulker but if it gets found he doesn't want to get in trouble, so he can blame it on ranboo seeing as it's under his name.)

-22:16-ish "i still have this from when you *can't understand whats said here*" well i guess that sort of explains why he had the grass block? idk man (info update: he had the grass block from when ranboo threw it at him telling him to calm down like what ghostbur does with blue)

-31:35 "i figured out how to cause it" how to cause the enderwalk state

-38:30 "ninety three lessons" I STILL DONT KNOW WHY HE KEPT SAYING NINETY THREE AND NOT NINETY FOUR AND ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY LMAO

-39:01 "it's all for the greater good" okay well when are you gonna start thinking about yourself and not everyone else for once huh. self care bitch.

-40:31 he started holding the axe when he was looking at sam- gonna say it i really don't like that axe ahahah- WAIT A DAMN MINUTE THE AXE IS NAMED "axe of ender" I DONT LIKE THAT I DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL

-41:53 is there something?? physically keeping him from telling sam??? or maybe it's sort of like his enderwalk state taking control to make him shut the fuck up??? so many questions and approximately zero answers

-43:18 ranboo raising his voice legitimately scares me 😀👍

-"Lesson 27: Do not reminisce on what you have lost for it will weigh you down." showed up when he was thinking about and REMINISCING about the community house 👀👀

-"Lesson 53: Never fully trust anyone." showed up literally after he said that he thinks he can trust the other people on the server enough to tell them about what he did

-"Lesson 67: Leave no evidence of what you have helped with." this is different from the others because there doesn't seem to be at least a semi-direct connection to it? unless maybe at the time ranboo was near something he may have "helped with"? not sure about this one

-"Lesson 94: DO NOT LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE" yeah yeah i get it i get it he's fucked up some shit in enderwalk i don't feel like analyzing this thanks

-OH OH NOTICE HOW HE SAYS "REMEMBERING" WHEN THE LESSONS SHOW UP. IMPLYING THAT THIS ISNT A NEW THING, ITS HAPPENED BEFORE AND NOW HES REMEMBERING IT. MAYBE HE WROTE DOWN THE LESSONS WHEN HE WAS IN ENDERWALK AND NOW THAT HES BEEN EXPERIMENTING ITS BEEN EASIER FOR HIM TO REMEMBER THOSE ENDERWALK MEMORIES

-okokok the experiments are that he's been e x p e r i m e n t i n g on how to purposefully induce the enderwalk state. and we know now that it wasn't from the pain of the water because on the stream afterwords he said that it's caused by the intense fear of something happening. and so the "side effects" of the experiments is that since he's in enderwalk more often(?) he starts remembering more things from it

-OH MY GOD WAIT "there is a reason sam, there's so many reasons, theres ninety three of them" (44:47) WHAT IF EVERY LESSON IS TIED TO A QUOTE UNQUOTE "reason" THAT RANBOO THINKS HES A BAD PERSON/NEEDS TO BE LOCKED UP BUT HE SAYS NINETY THREE INSTEAD OF NINETY FOUR BECAUSE THE NINETY FOURTH LESSON DOESNT HAVE A REASON YET/HE DOESNT REMEMBER IT HAVING A REASON

-dude honestly the whole sam part hurts so much this man is scarily good at acting

-46:46 "i cant put you in the prison you wouldn't be able to see michael anymore" bestie that's the point he doesn't want to accidentally hurt michael or tubbo in the enderwalk state—

-okay but there's no way that sam couldn't tell that ranboo was at least TRYING to confess to something- i feel like he definitely knows more than he's letting on because usually like when people do bad shit or admit to doing bad shit he's like in Prison Guard Mode™️ (he literally cut off ponk's arm because he stole some keycards or something) and whatever and idk what he knows but he definitely knows something and is trying to protect ranboo. or he's trying to manipulate him or smth either one works—

-50:38 "you are a good person" "i am?" you can hear my heart shatter. "yes you are" "i don't think so sam" "i do, even if you don't" "i really don't think so" and there it goes again

-51:25 hello badboyhalo i see you to the left of ranboo

-52:44 "but then my curiosity got the best of me" curiosity killed the cat, bitch

-52:54 "there's ninety three, ninety four, ninety- theres so many reasons!" SEE!! NOT ONLY ARE THERE THAT MANY LESSONS THERE ARE REASONS THAT CORRESPOND IM S O SMART—

-52:56 "i don't want to remember anymore!" *quietly brings forth my theory that when ranboo loses a canon life his memory gets wiped*

-53:13 "ive opened pandora's box" isn't the prison?? literally called pandora's VAULT??? so this m a y be a stretch but i'm thinking that maybe this could be taken in the literal sense that he "opened" the prison and let dream out (the sirens at the end of quackity's stream confirm that dream is indeed out)

-53:42 mans just straight up walked through a ghost i—

-55:37 so are we just gonna ignore the eleventh page of the book? "he's alive, but hopefully soon dream won't be"??? alright nevermind it's most likely bc when tommy came back he recruited ranboo in his plan to kill dream

-55:47 notice how he writes "what am i?" as opposed to "who am i?" no elaboration here idk what it could be

-56:08 just so it's clear for anyone who doesn't know- he's wearing armor at this point, and i'm like 90% sure that when he wears his armor water can't hurt him. and i saw someone say somewhere that like with splash potions when thrown it turns into a gas-like thing? so again, it didn't hurt him, he didn't get hurt. he said in the chill stream that he wasn't comfortable making it where his character had to hurt himself to do that. the thing that causes the enderwalk isn't pain, it's intense and sudden emotions like fear and stress. thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[plush-rabbit]

What headcanons you have in request box actually? I'm really curious lol. Have nice day btw, I love your work!!!!!

Okay, so usually I put some in a doc and then like figure it out from there so if you've sent one in and haven't seen it, don't worry, it'll be done and added once I make a dent lmao. These are also a mix of hc and fics. Some I'm like part way through so ye

There also might be some that I might not do because its vague, like I'm given just the prompt and I don't know what to do with it or there's just no ideas that come to mind so I really am sorry.

Upcoming ones:

Met with Dia and he said “how else will you please me?” And I think it awoke something in me?? Can I request Diavolo with a bashful innocent MC and him just laying back and letting her have his way with him? But of course he’s a total dom so he’s gonna take control but just has a little fun letting her take the reins to start with? Hi. I just found your stuff and you write so well for Obey Me. Could I request a fic with Barbatos and a female MC? Maybe she's staying at the palace for whatever reason and when he goes to his room he hears her moaning his name so he checks on her but she's sleeping. The next day he hints that she must've had a good dream much to her dismay. That night he goes to her room and she's awake and they end up sleeping together. With some praise and maybe even some tail action. Thank you! Can I please get a uuuhhh possessive/borderline yandere Leon please :3c maybe it’s after a big match for her and everyone’s fawning over her and he steals her away and reminds her that she’s his? 💕✨ I saw those headcanons where Jin and Shigaraki became parental or sibling figures to the reader sooooooo how about headcanons of a fem!reader being a mother figure to the league? Just an ordinary citizen in her late twenties until she met the LOV unexpectedly, during the time where the league had to hide and the reader's place is conveniently open (then again I'm sure they'd bust in if it wasn't) and she didn't rat them out. This happened quite a lot of times to the point where the reader is used to it by now and just lets them in, even if they weren't hiding from anyone and just wants to stay for the night. When she got closer to the league, she starts to show care and love for them in a way a mother would the reader isn't a member of the league, but they already consider her as family :'D I just really want them to get care and love since they've been through so much Last week I literally sat down and read your writing for like an hour and a half LOL It’s just really good and I love your characterization! I was wondering if I could request Twice and Shigaraki with an s/o who tries to be cute and surprise them by wearing their clothes when they return from a mission but maybe the clothes are a bit too snug cuz they’re a little pudgy :( could also be nsfw if you’re ok with that!! Thank you so much 💜💜 I like the Lucky!Cat!reader hc. Could you do some for the LOV, with a Male Cat s/o? Thank you! You're the best!! I've been obsessing about flowers and their meanings or what they symbolize soooooo. How would the LOV react to their s/o giving them a certain flower and then finding out what the flower means/symbolizes? Hope this passes! It's a request for OM. Can I have headcanons of the brothers + Diavolo (if you don't mind) of their s/o dancing "Paradise Lost" by GAIN? Provided you a link to the video for reference 😁: https://youtu.be/4i32ANEa5mk Headcanons where the LOV has an s/o whose like a literal ball of sunshine. Always happy and bubbly, smiling and laughing, they just seem to epitome of joy. Until one day, they just break down, being so emotionally drained from different factors that they can keep up the act of being happy anymore Last week I literally sat down and read your writing for like an hour and a half LOL It’s just really good and I love your characterization! I was wondering if I could request Twice and Shigaraki with an s/o who tries to be cute and surprise them by wearing their clothes when they return from a mission but maybe the clothes are a bit too snug cuz they’re a little pudgy :( could also be nsfw if you’re ok with that!! Thank you so much 💜💜 hey!! hru? i have a question do you think shigaraki would like a threesome? what if his s/o didn’t want one bc she’s like possessive of him (in a non toxic way) hey plush, can you do a reader x Shiggy and Dabi whos crying to them/grabbing their shirts and burring themselves into shiggy and dabi/ about their verbally abusive ex, how theyre so different from them, so much nicer and softer, how they(the reader) never thought they could be loved or deserved kindness? its been one of those days, i just need some comfort. thank you♡ heyy!! ^^ can i request some headcanons for hawks reacting to his female s/o belly dancing for him? :3 Heyo this is beetle juice anon idk if u remember me I’m the person who said shiggy sounds like beetle juice, I swear I couldn’t get that thought out of my head so can I request shiggy and reader getting hit by a quirk that forces them to do a musically ( idk I just want shiggy to sing honestly lmaoooo) idk maybe both of them being shocked that both of them can sing hey, i absolutely adore your writing! i love going through all your work, they’re my comfort fics! 💞 i was wondering if you would mind writing something for tomura with an s/o who is insecure about her body and how skinny she is? she feels too flat, like she doesn’t have enough curves or that she’s grown into her body enough and it makes her feel less of a woman, that tomura could do better. and it makes her anxious when it comes to initimacy and being exposed to him because in her eyes he’s so perfectly handsome and she just feels inadequate... it’s something i’ve had to deal with pretty much my entire life, getting called names like stick insect and coat hanger, but lately it’s been eating away at me more and more. you can totally ignore this if you feel uncomfortable writing about this stuff, though! 💕 So, like. Hear me out. What if, with Bakugou and Dabi (separate) : MC is super innocent and cute, blushes at the slightest flirt, and “doesn’t get” dirty jokes, but as soon as they’re alone with their s/o? They are the kinkiest most vulgar bottom they’ve ever seen. Nipples pierced, collar under the turtleneck, chain strung between the piercings and the collar, all out kinda slut. The duality of man. (Gender neutral) Hello so may i request shigaraki with a s.o whos warm loving and protective and very innocent basically a s.o whos like mitsuri kanroji both personality and look wise Female pronouns,maybe they are out on a date getting ice cream and the s.o is so happy shiggy came, they hold hands and people start giving him odd looks only for her to stand up to the bullies who are saying things about shigaraki, it ends with her kissing him infront of everyone to prove a point,and when the get home she tells him she doesnt care what people think and makes love to him topping hin while telling him all the reasons she fell inlove with him,(omg im so sorrry its so long if you have tpo many requests or dont like the idea please tell me) hey, i absolutely adore your writing! i love going through all your work, they’re my comfort fics! 💞 i was wondering if you would mind writing something for tomura with an s/o who is insecure about her body and how skinny she is? she feels too flat, like she doesn’t have enough curves or that she’s grown into her body enough and it makes her feel less of a woman, that tomura could do better. and it makes her anxious when it comes to initimacy and being exposed to him because in her eyes he’s so perfectly handsome and she just feels inadequate... it’s something i’ve had to deal with pretty much my entire life, getting called names like stick insect and coat hanger, but lately it’s been eating away at me more and more. you can totally ignore this if you feel uncomfortable writing about this stuff, though! 💕 could we get a fem reader cock warming Dabi throughout the night and get morning sex >//< // ik youre a busy bee so dont feel obligated to rush or anything, take ur time plushie!♡ can we please get a shiggy x reader and the reader asks him to teach her how to game and she ends up being better than him and whatnot (inspired by that “a simple wager”) fic (if you ever decide to make a sequel to that i will ve DECEASED Can I request a sub shigaraki with a mommy kink getting pegged by the reader ( I just want to make him beg and cry honestly) reader is a female Omh give us noncon/somno w scary eraserhead plsss / aizawa and aphrodisiac smut pwease ( ；∀；) Overhaul and Chrono punishing quirkless reader for being an undercover reporter/agent but like orgasm denial... (Idk if you write this stuff but anyways do it if you want have a nice night) Can I request something like “Peaches and Cream” but with Piers instead? I know you’re busy with other requests, so don’t worry if you don’t have time for this one! I love love your writing!!! Hello beautiful can I just say how amazing ur writing is loll, can I request shigaraki having a crush on the reader and she knows about it, like one day shiggy just goes to her room when there on a mission and just steals her stuff and humps her pillows, but she has cameras in her room so she saw everything, long story short she shows him the videos and humiliates him (shiggy of course a mess and is close to crying from how embarrassing that is, lowkey turned on ) the reader takes care of him ( sorry I’m really bad at endings 🙏🏻😅) the reader pegs him until he’s a crying mess. By the way the reader is a female and shigaraki is a sub has a mommy kink and the reader is dom of that’s ok of course I love your writing!! May I ask for Diavolo x F!Reader with borderline disorder? 👉👈.. Lately it has been very difficult for me to deal with this alone and Diavolo is mine comfort character.. (NSFW Talk, If your a minor..then why are you even reading this?? Get off this 18+ page?? Anyways-). I am a huge sucker for overstimulation, biting and crying, (many of my past partners have called me a sadist-) and I just 𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑟𝑒 the idea of Tamaki’s cute face streaming with tears and drool as Male Reader vigorously overstims the fuck out of him. And he would look so 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑦 with his mouth gaping open in a silent scream of overwhelming pleasure because M!Reader gave his sensitive dick a handjob while he roughly railed Tamaki’s pretty little ass. (While abusing the fuck out of his G Spot, of course). I can just imagine him squirming and begging for mercy while M!Reader lovingly wrecks his body, taking him hard & fast in multiple different positions with each one making Tamaki wail with pleasure. He’s just so adorable, I just wanna see him get 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑢𝑝~ Lusty ❤︎ -Anon. Bonus Points if you could have M!Reader be super fuckin tall, muscular, strong and also be absolutely PACKING. (This man has a godly dick, and it’s honestly a surprise Tamaki can take it so well without literally breaking in half) ahhhh hewwo could you maybe write something with dbd ghostface going full apotheosis for his crush? as in,, he starts to elevate her to a status of divinity and even when she's just cowering in fear in front of him or conversely stabbing him and causing him lots of pain he just keeps viewing her as some sort of deity and  can't stop obsessing over her and wanting more from her

Again. I deeply apologize for not doing some. I wish I could, but (and this is not to guilt trip any of yall or anything, I understand that it'll sound like that it but it ain't it) sometimes the work I put into something and the feedback I get is sometimes not it. Like I'll work hard and get nothing and listen, I get it, its fanfic, there's a bit more stigma to it rather than art but yeah. Its a ramble, and basically, I don't wanna put work into something that I'll only get a few likes on. So yeah. Agains this isn't guilt tripping, I get it. I'm a consumer of it and I get the gist of it but yeah. More thoughts later, when I can properly sit and write as I am currently in a home depot 

[iridescentides]

i watched the ep twice bc i didnt take notes the first time BUT. hsmtmts 2.04 thoughts under the cut

gina first. my favorite part of the episode was when she admitted that she feels out of place living in someone else’s house and that she wanted a bigger part in the play. i was SO worried they were gonna just let her happily sideline herself in a “yay she learned her lesson about not being the center of attention” kind of way bc i would not be able to handle that two seasons in a row. let her be angry!!! she has a lot to be upset about

the gina/carlos conflict was awful bc theyre making carlos unreasonably annoying this season. last season he was nice, he was enthusiastic, not competitive and just rooting for other people. idk why they needed to flip him so drastically to being spoiled, rich, selfish, pushy, and bitchy. and on top of that i have not been vibing with the pieces of dialogue theyve been giving him this season just to score woke points. its so unbearably obvious that even though hes a brown gay character, he was written by a white gay person who thought, on some level, that he was giving the gen z kids the #hashtag representation they wanted. his delivery of every line that screams “remember, im mexican” is so awkward, it doesnt land well, and im begging them to stop. they want so badly to commodify his character and parade him around as a “look how diverse our show is!” thing and im so so sick of it bc you can tell, with all the surface-level pieces of dialogue, that they dont actually care at all

(”look around, theres not a lot of me at this school” we GET it, this show wants to be glee so bad)

im honestly starting to slowly ship rina less and less. in season one i loved seeing someone make gina happy, especially since she had no friends before opening up to ricky. but now its just a whole mess and i wish she would love herself a lil more to realize that its not worth all this stress. he made a choice and no amount of conflicted moments of eye contact is going to fully take that back. im not necessarily against love triangle plots, but i HATE the whole “women wait around hopefully while male character, whose decisions have already hurt multiple people, makes up his mind” bullshit

that being said, gina handled the situation like a CHAMP, im dying over how quickly she was able to mask her pain and make the joke about the twix bar. im love her

we were absolutely ROBBED of an ej/big red performance this episode!!! i am at my LIMIT we better get gaston next week or i will riot

on the ej train, him not getting into duke was extremely predictable. we all kinda saw that coming and knew that would be his main point of growth this season. im glad they didnt wait super long to do it. now please @ writers i am BEGGING you to give my man more screen time than one scene per episode

its very odd that they keep making mr mazzara have emotionally tough conversations with the students. i will do a parallel gifset of those once the season ends. i liked his convo with ej for the most part, but he really didnt have to beat him over the head with the “youre an emotionless robot” thing again. its clear ej is gonna throw himself into av club or whatever (even though at the end of last season that was supposed to be big red?) and discover that he has a lot going for him. because he does, he literally has everything going for him, thats why they had to make his “problem” not knowing himself. bisexual ej caswell ftw

i love the parallels between ej and nini this episode? i think since the beginning ive felt that there was a lot about them under the surface that was similar. it was interesting seeing ej tell nini about duke first, instead of the obvious choice of ashlyn. i wouldve loved to see how that scene wouldve gone with ricky, gina, carlos, or big red though bc each reaction and attempt at comforting him wouldve been so different. i didnt love that nini had to be pulled away from the conversation, but im glad they can still talk to each other after everything that went down. and i love the juxtaposition of ej’s convo with mazzara directly following nini’s convo with miss jenn bc theyre essentially the same.

speaking of, i loved miss jenn in this episode. her stories are always so funny, but i loved seeing her care so much for nini and guide her, like a teacher. i loved how she pointed out that everyone who loves nini just wants her to be happy

im glad nini is leaving yac bc there was no good way to keep that up honestly. but im pretty annoyed that they were so obvious about it? like, they immediately made it the worst place in the world without exploring it very much. the place is super unrealistic, ive never been to drama school but im sure it wouldnt be like that. no creative arts place for KIDS would be so impossibly limiting. plus the weird bluish coloring in comparison to the nice warm tones of the rest of the show was, again, a dead giveaway. why send her to the school at all if it wasnt even gonna matter?

even though im glad nini left yac, im NOT looking forward to the way miss jenn is about to bend over backwards to put her in the play somehow. she plays obvious favorites and im so annoyed

(sidenote: nini just? decided to leave yac without consulting her parents??? ummm)

granted is a very good song, one of my faves so far

ricky deciding to tell nini he wants her to stay was stupid. what did he think that would accomplish? who in their right mind would drop out of a good school for you?

i loved when nini said yac was missing something, and miss jenn said “ricky” and nini said “you.” that was so so sweet and cute

i think the kourtney/howie thing is gonna grow on me. i hate amatonormativity so im not a big fan of them introducing a whole ass character exclusively so kourtney can have a love interest, but i loved the gesture he made of bringing her the pizzas and her flashcards. i feel like kourtneys love language is acts of service, and she was literally this meme when he did that for her:

i liked seeing ashlyn try to be there emotionally for gina! i want more of them together

overall this episode was okay. not enough songs, and i wish they were spreading out the emotional conversations through the season instead of packing them all into literally one episode, but what we did get was pretty good.

after watching the preview i see that next weeks episode is gonna be about carlos’s party, and i love party episodes. BUT i hope that after that ep we finally get an advancement on the north high stuff! i dont give too many fucks about lily, but i wanna see my son asher angel

[thoschei-rights]

Season 12 but The Master kept pretending to be O??

Basically self-indulgent Thoschei with a twist.

lots of typos bc?? i aint got time to go correct stuff yet? I will later?? 

So Spyfall is resolved, The Kasaavin are banished back to their realm and the Fam and Doctor are clueless as to the true mastermind, Barton taking the fall while the Master continues to pose ad O, having decided he’s enjoying the game of tricking her too much.

Perhaps among their texts they’ve grown close, or perhaps the brief time together in the outback led to events?? ;) But either way, he changes his mind mid plan and continues to act human.

Since he never leaves the message or has the confrontation in Paris, the doctor remains unaware of Gallifrey’s destruction. The fam wait off on asking their questions since she isn’t off with them.

Orphan 55 happens, and while the fam go do their shit, O stays with the Doctor bc admit it, she was like oh ;-; when everyone went to explore. My poor baby. So they hang out together before everything goes to shit, how cute?? Things get resolved, but with the revelation of one of earth’s potential fates, and the potential that the doctor lied about knowing, the fam decide to ask to know more about her. She shares what she believes its true at the time, being born on gallifrey and being a timelord, O looms in the background looking awkward bc he knows none of that is true and he feels horrible keeping the truth from her, it makes him as bad as the rest of the time lords- but he is selfish and he doesn’t want to stop what he’s doing, he’s started to really enjoy her company, its everything he’s ever wanted, every star.

And then it’s ruined when Yaz asks to see her own planet. Blissfully unaware of its destruction, she takes them, and so they’re right there with her when she sees, opens the doors to the rubble, the dying flames- and oh god. The fam are horrified, she’s horrified, O has to fake it, while being utterly glad those nasties are dead- maybe he gets to sneakily comfort hug her??? like she’s trying not to tear up even after that whole shit show of the confession dial, it was her home??so yeah he’s like hugging her but he’s so angry bc they dont deserve her tears?? 

The doctor is off after that, and the fam know why, and none of their words of comfort do much, because sure they’ve just witnessed the death of earth too but that is just one timeline, can be completely avoided, while gallifrey is gone forever, and she believes she’s once more the last of her kind. it hurts.

they visit tesla all the same, and when that big ass scorpion looking alien (bc im sorry i didnt like the episode and i’ve forgotten her name so....) mentions dead planets, she can feel the fam stiffen, as though the doctor is gonna blow at any minute, but she keeps calm, tries to bury the rage, but O can tell, can tell by the way her arms shake, hands clenched into fists in her pockets- and it hurts him to see her like this- the longer he spends around her, pretending to be someone he’s not, he’s just realizing more and more what a dumbass he is and that he’s still as in love with her now than he was all those years ago in the academy- none of the truth will change that-

and then boom the shit show with the judoon occurs and suddenly O is confused af because that Lee guy could ONLY have been him. Who else on gallifrey was stupid enough to hide out with the doctor, marry them and die for them?? him because he’s a dumbass? but he’s a dumbass who definitely doesnt remember this memories?? which theoretically in the doctors timeline should have been sometime after the division? or during? he’s not sure? but to his knowledge he shouldn’t have been alive at this stage? and now he’s not sure what the fuck HIS own life is too? did they take his memories from him too? has he lost part of his life? suddenly the truth doesnt seem as known as he thought- so while the doctor is reeling from the information of Ruth being her somehow? O is having his own mental crisis because what the fuck did they do to him too? what is he missing?? 

praxeus continues as similar as it did originally, O is only the tiniest impressed at Yaz, ever since Spyfall he’d sensed she was the human with the most potential to not be utterly worthless so he’s glad at least one of the doctors latest pets seems to have some initiative?? but yeah i dont wanna change much about praxeus? its not important- except the doctor saying she’s a romantic and the master wants that? wait what- he’s conflicted about his own thoughts? he wanted to break her, destroy her with the truth? but he also just wants to wrap her in his arms? make everything as okay as he can? what the fuck is even happening with him? jsut your usual ‘im a mess’ vibes lmao

when can you hear me? rolls around, it happens in a similar way, i dont wanna get to into it because i dont wanna think too much...the episode was weird, it was just weird-- i cant?? although maybe bc that zellin and the lady whose name i forgot...but they were immortal right?? maybe their species is the doctors species?? huh? huh? think about that- but don’t think too hard bc i hate that theory and i’m gonna pretend i never had that thought- lets just ignore can you hear me even though the end made me cry for yaz bc lol relatable sis, relatable. do whatever you want for this bit fam, idc.

Anyyyyyway. the bit I’m waiting for... Villa Diodati ;) O is ready to smack Byron round the face, fingers itching towards the tce everytime he tries to flirt with the doctor. the lone cyberman appears and wopdie doo earth is going to be destroyed and the doctor is about to do something stupid, thinking there is no other way? the master is like um lol change of plans i dont want the cybermen to win, look how in pain my baby theta is?? i gotta help?? oof? and idk, his patience is like nope all gone? and he whips out his TCE on the lone cyberman and boom. crisis averted? except now the doctor is looking at him in horror and shock and- she realizes who he is then and there, and normally he’d made a big drama out of his, throw in some words, a speech about how easy it was to deceive her, how he destroyed gallifrey- about how he was under her nose this whole time- but he doesn’t, instead he meets her gaze and can barely manage to whisper an “im sorry” and wow shit i wasn’t gonna write that version, i was gonna have feral confrontation but now im stanning a sad master who just needs a hug and some therapy because nothing makes sense, he thought he had everything figured out but he doesnt and he just wANTS HIS FRIEND BACK uiferkghlujkfaghjfkgladhfajkg; i m fine 

i dont know what i wanna do after this point? it could go a lot of different ways?? but thoschei rights bitches. could go angst confrontation and then she abandons him in whatever century that was set bc wow i studied frankenstein in school but i couldnt tell you what century the author is from bc im dumb? 18th? maybe idk that seems likely? or 19th? but anyway yeah or maybe she’s just relieved someone else is alive? or is she shouting for answers or?? i dunno.... but woop ??? 

wow this turned into a big mess but hopefully you can kinda see where i wanna head with things? after this he’d probably show her the truth? i dunno how that’d go down, but he’d be there with her?? But anyway, this idea is free for anyone to write, but holla us a link and I'll give yall a free promo at the end of this post!!

Versions of this that yall Lovelies have blessed us with:

[ranvwoop]

TALK ABOUT AMERICAN HEALTHCARE I HAVE AN IDEA OF WHY IT'S THERE BUT I WANNA HEAR THE EXPLANATION ALSO THE ONLY HOUSE THAT"S NOT ON FIRE (YET) FOR THE SAME REASON I JUST WANNA SEE THE ANALYSIS:TM: IF U WANT I WANNA SEE IF I GOT IT RIGHT :D

Hi :DDD. Thank u for asking,,,, I have many thoughts. I am sorry in advance. This is one of those things I will put under a readmore because I am into rambling. IT GOT A LOT LONGER THAN ANTICIPATED IM SORRY. Like. a lot. It was 4 pages in google docs because i dont trust tumblr to save my drafts

Okay a lot of my Ranboo thoughts are about the syndicate / boreal trio / peerpressure duo. But you’re probably aware I am a Them enthusiast first and both a dsmp enjoyer and person second. Because. I really like the syndicate. I also don’t have too too many thoughts on the more recent lore past the experiments. Once the in character monologues stopped, so did my brain. I communicate through monologue to monologue communication.

American Healthcare is actually gonna be the main reason why this is so long bc it works Very Much for like three different reasons. One sorta niche and abstracter reason is a stream that was basically never elaborated on back in March, either the day after or very close to the peerpressure Egg confrontation stream. The egg called him a coward (for some reason my brain can Only come up with the “stop saying i look like chicken little. he’s dumb, and a coward, and i am NOT a coward” vine), and he is not a coward, so he decided to make an action plan to bring the server together by acting as a mediator for all parties and try to make sure that everyone is happy, because he’s the only one that can see all sides, or something. This was where he said the big happy family™ line but other than Ranboo Become Dream?? analysis nothing else really happened and everything went along as normal.

(I also always held a little bit of suspicion on this stream actually and thought it might be the influence of the egg, because it says it can give one whatever they want, and ranboo wants to make everyone happy and this was a totally foolproof way of doing that. Sort of in a similar way that BBH is convinced that his plan will totally make Skeppy happy. But also Ranboo is just like that, but this felt a little more on the nose than usual and he did fall into the egg and made his decisions after being egged on by it, buT WE’LL NEVER KNOW, WILL WE?

… also I really wanted to see more egg conflict at the time. Peerpressure rlly got involved in the egg plot for cameos at the banquet and nothing else. I do not blame anyone and respect the ccs for all of their attempts to weave plots together but also. also…. we.. we coulda had so much…)

That was a little off topic from the point, but… he really just thinks he can save the sick… he can see that everyone on the server is unwell and is wrong but, y’know, look inwardly, the unwell is coming from inside the house. And an inherent problem of the way that the server runs. And if this is still lowkey in effect or not (idk man a) ranboo has monologued a lot I simply chose a one off from march to grow emotionally attached to and b) i think that my brain has shut off once ranboo stopped solo lore streams), it would probably go the way that most choosing to change the system from the inside goes. Which is the point of the song and stuff! He will inevitably decide what’s too far, whether he will either admit it’s a choice or just feel that it’s what he has to do. The, uh, dealing with the devil, to be polite.

in conclusion (but we are not close to done here i’m holding you for a bit longer), i think a lot about that stream and i think that shows what he wants to be, at the very least, and continuing down that path would definitely go into being far more trouble than just a noble goal of wanting to help people, from negotiating with corruption (The lobbyists, the Congressmen and lies bit) and that the server can’t really be brought together and saved like that (When things are more and more this way / Sometimes it's like they'd rather die)

THE LESS. vwoop why have you written an unnecessarily long post about one stream in your playlist character analysis reason is both more literal and piece by piece and also Syndicate, My Beloved, you know the drill. We are going line by line because I have a lot of feelings about American Healthcare, apparently.

This also comes back to that everyone on the server is doing Really Badly, all of the time, but mostly his time in L’Manburg. For one, he is pretty complacent in everything and doesn’t really accomplish much in terms of actual change, so like Well people die every day / I wouldn't have it any other way / I just think they should feel good while they are alive. An example of this is Exiled Tommy — who I’d also metaphorically put as the dead man just for funsies, since Tommy’s whole exile thing was one of the first things Ranboo experienced on the server—as he did try to be friends with Tommy and keep him company with his letters, but he still has no power over the actual issue at hand. Just trying to make it a bit more bearable. Similarly is Techno, while Ranboo still participated in the butcher army that was trying to kill him, he helped in the meantime until he “died”.

And then it’s the Realization that participating in the system doesn’t really help much, and the subsequent Everything. It could be getting mad at the whole government system and that he didn’t mean to contribute to the harm, or how he fought with Fundy using hs ideology but not in the way that Ranboo thought. It could also be standing up to his hallucination Dream, in that he doesn’t try this hard to be a good person just to be accused of helping with all of the things that he may or may not have helped with. (That is… a discussion for not right now, I don’t know.) And I think this sort of area is also where it’s like they’d rather die is also relevant, cause Doomsday. Nobody could just set aside their governments and just get along, though Ranboo had his own solution to fighting and things.

And then he joins the Syndicate! And the lyrics of the song are directly Government Bad, because government bad. Canon anarchist, has done things that he’s not proud of as a part of the government. The lines it was the government / … It got louder over the years / Until all that I could hear was flies and all.

But honestly I think in the Syndicate he’s still trying to “save the sick”! Because the Syndicate don’t All fit eye to eye either. He’s the token pacifist, and a vote against violence whenever it comes down to it. Not all anarchists are violent but Techno and Phil will probably react strongly when provoked, due to All the past events, and I live in a world where their trauma and issues get talked about as much as everyone else’s. Since everything is decided by vote it’d probably be split between them and Ranboo + Niki, who is in her healing/no longer resorting to murder arc. He’ll help them negotiate and then everything will Be Okay, ideally.

(Also I just like the idea of Ranboo believing that he is helping the people he’s living with because canonically cc!Ranboo has said he just really cares about his family and the syndicate are included in his family shut up but they also just believe they’re helping him and yes it’s self indulgent. I care them. Particularly Endduo, actually, or whatever they're called, I am not bold enough to think Ranboo looks at Techno and thinks I Can Fix Him, but. Philza Minecraft will one day talk about his feelings. One day.)

There’s also radioduo and beeduo as of recent— really I’m just saying I think that Ranboo constantly has a Need To Help People, believes he can do it, and it will come back to hurt him in the end (except for the Syndicate because I’m in denial. The Syndicate can’t fall out if they never stream together :) ).

THIS CONCLUDES THE AMERICAN HEALTHCARE PORTION OF OUR SHOW.

The Only House That’s Not on Fire Yet !! I like this one. This is also blatantly there cause Syndicate. They are the only faction that is not actively falling apart, and this could absolutely be because they never stream together. But I do not care. However we are also going to go through this one piece by piece because we’re nearing 1500 words here and I might as well embarrass myself more. I am writing an incredibly informal essay about Ranboo My _Beloved (i assume his middle name is My, and he’s just one of those people who write his full full name) and this is the third page. If you’re still reading this, I’m sorry. Here we go.

There are lines that just seem like an unwell but recovering person, and I like to sort of think that way about Ranboo in the arctic during the down time. “I feel knotted up today / But in a most exquisite way” and “I feel strangely regular / But honestly I prefer it to / The usual bizarre” are just! He’s just hanging out. He’s doing good. There is the acknowledgement that he’s usually not doing well, and all of the episodes that he’s had in the past, and it’s probably strange to be doing well in the midst of everything, and there’s probably something impending, but now? He’s doing good!

The verses directly after both of those ones are about uncertainty and trust and such, and I feel like that’s not necessarily about just One relationship but all of them. Will cause problems as long as he has an accomplice. He is not confident but he trusts and loves people.

“This suit doesn’t fit me / I made it conterfeitly” I just like to think about Ranboo in his fancy suit, but it’s just a little wrong because he actually has no idea what he’s doing. I also like to think about Ranboo in a cape to fit in with boreal trio and later the syndicate, and emerald duo had matchy blue outfits from the Antarctic Empire… and trying to fit in with them…. or maybe They make him something.. You know. Much to think about.

“Killing me with déjà vu” I think is like. A little less fun, because despite how well things are going, the enderwalk is still not resolved and he had even less answers when I started thinking “this is a ranboo song”. Just as it relates to having a strange sense of reality and stuff, which goes into specifics of enderwalk headcanons, which would make this far longer. Even though I’ve framed it as a negative, there is also the more positive note of “Oh! I just thought of how to change all the hate / Into love with the old switcheroo / Dancing in my déjà vu / You'll be dancing too” which I’d rather explain broken up but I feel like as it’s a full verse it should be together. The first part is connected to my general thoughts of him explained earlier tbh, he’s trying Very Hard to make everyone happy and fix things. And adding the second part to it is just like! He is trying to make sense of everything, and it’s not so scary as time goes by. Since the experiments where he’s been (questionably) trying to be more comfortable and get more answers.

This was very long. I am sorry. I am ending it here and probably not going to do much formatting to make it readable because it is very late o’clock and also this is four pages and 2000 words I am so sorry. But if you read this far then. Uhhh thank. ^v^.

[pianjeong]

Making it angsty. JJ defects (and by default they break up) and then a few years later he shows up to a White Lotus meeting and sees his ex and it's just the Spiderman pointing meme

oh BOY ANGST PART 2.....im gonna say this is a continuation of this post so some things might make more sense if u read that one first

but. they haven’t seen each other for Years at this point. and people have stopped whispering - well, also bc piandao’s shut himself up in the villa and only comes out to take his swords to market probably - and it’s all very depressing. because on one hand, if jj had just gone on and finished out his navy career he probably would’ve went down in the books as just the admiral and the prodigy which is just not the vibe (that’s the thing he’s sensitive about!). but this way he goes down as the deserter and gets forgotten and like. he just deserves so much better than either of those and piandao just wishes that he could’ve stayed with him. reminded him that he doesn’t need to be any of what people say he is.

idk how long after the desertion that this might happen... but i think at this point piandao’s trying to internalize the fact that those (heady golden) days are over and it’s v likely that he never sees jj again. and then he gets inducted into the white lotus and shows up at a meeting and wait a second that hair looks familiar - oh shit. it’s the spiderman pointing meme......but with feelings.

for one: bitch, you joined a secret society without me? i understand that we have not been speaking and also that we ended up in the same secret society anyway, but STILL. seriously? you could’ve sent a noTE

but for two: are you fuckign kidding me i was just starting to get over you except i really really wasn’t and i already sorta knew i never would but now here you are and i don’t know what to say.

and while piandao is thinking the above jj is in Conflicted Town because seeing him is a reminder of a version of himself that no longer exists and that he has very conflicted feelings about - was relatively happy, and successful, and had at least one person who cared about him, but also had approximately -2 perspective on life as well as the harm he caused to other people. he still feels astronomical levels of guilt for leaving him behind without saying anything but now they’re in the same room again and he can’t quite remember why he hadn’t at least written because that’s still the guy he spent a summer falling in love with and years writing to and now years missing and what is happening.

that first meeting is very awkward for both of them for obvious reasons. they keep kinda Looking at each other across the tent but refuse to engage and everyone else is like ????? and it keeps on being awkward honestly bc they aren’t sure how to act around each other anymore - they’re both convinced that the other one has moved on already and doesn’t want to be the first to initiate. 

the other members pick up on it and one time they scheme to leave them alone in the tent and it is just so gd awkward. and piandao keeps trying to reach out and make small talk or whatever and he gets monosyllables in return. but jj doesn’t break eye contact the entire time and eventually piandao snaps and is like “why are you looking at me like that” bc it’s so much like when jj would just sit and stare at him back when they were together and he would like to not think about that thanks. and jj just keeps looking at him, and doesn’t say a word. until in the smallest voice he just says “i’m sorry.”

and piandao’s just utterly taken aback because what? he’s never know jj to apologize for anything. and like an idiot he’s like “what?”

and jj jumps to his feet (and if he’d still been bending probably would’ve set sth on fire) and goes “i’m fucking sorry, okay? but i had to leave. i was just trying to protect you. you didn’t need to pay for my mistakes.” and there are so many things wrong with that but piandao knows that that’s not what he needs to be saying right now. so once he’s processed he just gets up and goes around the table and hugs him. and says “i forgive you” because he wasn’t angry and now that he knows this is what jj thinks he just wants so much for him to know that piandao doesn’t blame him for it at all. it takes a moment but jj basically collapses on him and it’s part relief and part ‘what do you mean it can’t be that easy’ but maybe there’s still hope. maybe there’s one thing that he hasn’t ruined.

and then. they reconnect. and it’s a long damn road to recovery and jj definitely needs some Therapy (again with me making him so connected to his bending like why did i do that his self hate is real) but piandao is absolutely committed to not pushing him past what he’s ready for and even though he really is still in love with him, they are and always will be friends first and that’s what jj needs right now. jj’s self-aware enough to know that he is not ready for anything past that even though he’s also never really fallen out of love either, but it isn’t awkward between them. it’s just a knowledge that that’s my best friend, and he isn’t going anywhere, and when we’re ready to acknowledge this thing again then we’ll both be here. it’s about the mutual support, and that’s love babey it really is.