#im grieving and making it everyones problem

[separatist-apologist]

What Died Didn't Stay Dead

Summary: Gwyneth Berdara has been promised to a brutal prince who imagines himself a god. Setting sail across pirate infested waters, she and Nesta Archeron hatch a plan to escape her arranged marriage before they arrive.

A gift for @alohaangels, whose kind words softened some of my grief.

Read on AO3

TW for depictions of sexual assault- reminiscing on the event, but it is graphic so please take care of yourself.

--

It was a mistake.

Surely some sort of joke. 

Gwyn’s eyes scanned the piece of paper before her, looking for some tell-tale clue that would mark the missive as some kind of cruel joke. Some nobleman’s idea of amusing himself with a ruined man’s daughter. 

Lady Berdara,

I have made my intentions plain to your guardian, and with her blessing, I intend to make them plain to you as well. I have been unable to stop thinking of you since the ball, hosted now several months previously. Your beauty follows me, an ever present guest I would not be rid of, distracting as your visage is. 

Allow me to speak freely—I would like to be wed with haste if possible. I have enclosed two tickets to Alsfeld for you and a lady of your choosing. Send word, make the passage, and I will meet you at the Port of Alsfeld.

Say yes. I will accept no other answer.

Yours, faithfully,

Prince Edward II

Gwyn looked up at Merrill with disbelief, immediately frustrated to find her guardian looking back with a look of supreme smugness. 

“I told you,” she said, rising from her chair to walk toward the window. Gwyn had been living under care since her family had been slaughtered, casualties of the ongoing and bloody war being fought by Edward the Senior. She’d been minor nobility, then, though part of the landed gentry all the same.

“This is a joke,” Gwyn replied, pushing away the rising tide of memories. She wished she had perished, then, and often cursed the unknown, faceless man who had spared her a bloody death right at the last second. 

“It’s not,” Merrill replied, smoothing out the folds of her heavy cobalt gown. “He was taken with you at the ball, and he’s taken with you now.”

“I have no dowry,” Gwyn reminded Merrill, who must have already thought of that. “I work for my keep.”

“Money was set aside for you. I have been safe guarding it,” Merrill told her. Gwyn didn’t know what to say to that—she’d been told for years that her father had squandered everything, that the only way to continue living under Merrill’s grace was to work. 

“Oh, don’t look at me like that. You have an education, don’t you? Room? Board? Fine clothes and regular meals?”

“I…am grateful,” Gwyn forced herself to say, hardly grateful at all. She was angry—always so, so angry. The feeling was nothing new, just as swallowing it wasn’t, either. She knew all the right words, steps to a dance she’d long memorized. “I am so grateful for you.”

Gwyn wasn’t, though. Merrill had never been kind—a poor substitute for her already flighty mother. At least then she’d had Catrin.

Now she had no one and nothing but memories tainted in blood, smoke, and so much fear. And, apparently, a marriage she could not wiggle free from. Gwyn wracked her mind for anything that might save her—Edward was a prince twice her age who’d ordered her into several dances. His breath had smelled rank, his fingers tight and clammy, and he’d leaned in too close for her liking as he droned on and on about his many war victories.

Did he even know his family’s war was the reason she had to rely on the charity of others?

Gwyn doubted he cared. 

“What about his last wife?”

“The Catholic?” Merrill scoffed. It was a rumor, of course—meant to discredit a woman so he could have a divorce without upsetting the general populace that loved her so. “Locked in a convent, last I heard. She gave only daughters and  he needs sons.”

“I’m supposed to do that?” Gwyn gaped, blood turning to ice. She had to swallow against the torrent of memories rising through her, threatening to spill over the ornate cream rug in the form of her breakfast. She’d promised she wouldn’t—that a man would never again touch her like that, certainly not if she invited him to, and even that was questionable.

It seemed she had no choice. 

“You’ll be his wife,” Merrill said dismissively, clearly tired of the conversation. It was the longest they’d had in waking memory, which meant at any moment Merrill was going to give Gwyn a verbal order to do as she was told, and a silent order to shut her mouth and be grateful.

Gwyn had no gratitude left in her. Certainly not for a man who intended to use her and then discard her if he tired of her. 

“He has a wife—”

“He doesn’t,” Merrill snapped, tossing a lock of blonde hair over her shoulder. Was she bitter it wasn’t her? Gwyn would trade her. “Nesta Archeron has agreed to accompany you to Alsfeld and I expect you to go upstairs, pack appropriately, and smile at your good fortune. Not many men would consider marrying you given your past.”

“My past.” Gwyn dropped all pretense, her words hollow, voice flat. 

“Yes, Gwyneth, your past. You should be overjoyed that a man wants you at all, let alone one so esteemed as the prince.”

“You told him?” Gwyn felt betrayal clawing at her neck. “That wasn’t yours to share!”

“The dowry he demanded was impossible to meet,” Merrill sniffed, eyes icy and unforgiving. “He was entitled to less knowing you were ruined.”

Ruined.

Gwyn rose from the chair she’d been sitting in, skirts ruffling loudly in her ringing ears. How Gwyn hated when Merrill said that to her—as if she were little more than a lamp that had broken and not a whole person that had been stolen from.

She couldn’t speak—she knew she’d cry, her anger making a mockery of her. Inclining her head, Gwyn merely made her way through the parlor, past the servants she’d once been close with. They wouldn’t meet her gaze, though she swore their mouths twisted with pity. She was the last to know, as usual, and it showed. 

Making her way to her small bedroom, Gwyn flung herself onto the padded window seat to peer out at the sea. How long before she was on one of the ships in the harbor with only the wretched Nesta Archeron for company? She’d only met the woman once and Nesta had been so wildly unpleasant that Gwyn had immediately dismissed her without another word.

Now they’d be trapped aboard a ship together. Gwyn sighed, turning toward her dresser. She had a large carpet bag and a trunk—she’d put personal things in the bag and the rest in the trunk, assuming someone was going to rifle through the items in the trunk. Better to not give anything away.

Truthfully, Gwyn had very little. Merrill had never deigned to give her anything of value, always with the admonishment that she ought to be grateful. Gwyn’s gratitude died with Catrin, leaving behind only her rage. How a prince had found her fascinating enough to marry was beyond Gwyn—the night they’d danced, she’d been wearing one of Merrill’s gowns, promptly returned while it was still warm. 

What would he do when he realized she was practically a servant? Maybe it didn’t matter—perhaps he’d outfit her in finery and remind the populace that, technically, her father had died a decorated war hero. Nevermind he’d been cowering in his final moments, on his knees begging not for the lives of the daughters being dragged away by laughing soldiers, but his own.

Gwyn’s anger grew hotter. She threw her items in the trunk, not caring if they were wrinkled. She let it consume her, balling up gown after gown so she could throw them with force into the trunk until she felt a little calmer. Less fury. She reminded herself to breathe, the same exercises she’d once done with Catrin.

It had been Catrin who’d once been filled with anger and Gwyn who had peace. She’d find her sister, raging about some injustice, and remind her to breathe until they were both smiling again. Catrin’s rage had sent her running from the house to try and save the children next door—and she’d been the first of the two of them to die. Wherever she’d hidden them, however they’d escaped…Catrin refused to say.

Gwyn, trembling and scared, a mere three minutes younger though sometimes it felt like three years, had obeyed when Catrin ordered, don’t say a word!

“We can break you,” the soldier had laughed, reaching for his belt. Catrin had turned her head, arms held over her head by another soldier. She’d screamed and fought, writhing like a wild, desperate animal while Gwyn silently sobbed, watching—knowing she would be next.

Tell us, the soldier had ordered, turning to Gwyn.

Don’t, Catrin had ordered again, fiercer than before. They’d placed a blade to Catrin’s neck and demanded again. Gwyn had looked at her sister, but Catrin only widened her eyes.

“Be brave,” Catrin had whispered.

The last words ever spoken between them. They’d laughed as they cut her throat, and laughed louder as Gwyn screamed, dragged to the same bed her sister bled out on. Gwyn hadn’t been brave at all—she’d begged them to kill her, too.

And they would have, had that man not come kicking in with that lethal looking sword. Walking to her dresser, she found the cloak he’d draped over her folded up at the bottom. Throwing it away would have been the better thing to do, but in the aftermath of what had happened, she’d simply tossed it in the back of her wardrobe. Afterwards, she’d had it washed, unable to stand the smell of whatever cologne that man wore mingled with blood and sweat. She could have thrown it away then, too.

She picked it up, admiring the well-made fabric and the heavy, silver and cobalt clasp that would have kept it pinned around her neck. Gwyn hadn’t dared to wear it, but it felt…wrong…to be rid of it, now. It was a relic of the worst moment of her life. She hated that stranger, his face concealed by a mask, though what little she might have seen had been blurred by blood and tears. He’d carried her out after brutally, and mercilessly, slaughtering every man who’d come into her house. 

He’d tried to take her somewhere, but she’d started screaming again and so he’d left her huddled in a heap beneath a tree with a silver dagger laid at her bare feet. He hadn’t said a word, merely vanished back into the ether. Perhaps he’d been a long forgotten god come to seek vengeance. Or perhaps he’d simply been a mercenary unable to witness his brethern pillaging and raping. 

She’d never know. 

Still, sometimes she caught herself thinking about him, wondering where he was and why he’d intervened in the first place. Gwyn had the dagger, though she didn’t know how to use it, and tucked that into her bag along with a necklace that had belonged to Catrin she didn’t dare wear. She hadn’t been brave.

She didn’t deserve to.

Gwyn skipped dinner that night, which caused Merrill to rant through the halls about how spoiled and ungrateful she was. Gwyn blocked it out with a book, curled back in the window seat as she waited for the inevitable. She couldn’t sleep, chasing the sunrise with drooping eyelids. Merrill wasn’t far behind, bursting in with more energy than Gwyn was certain she’d ever had in her life. 

Gwyn had never liked the small city she’d been isolated in. It was just big enough to give the illusion of privacy but small enough that everyone knew everything. Busybodies to the very last, which meant that as Gwyn was paraded through the busy early morning, all eyes fell on her, even if just for a moment. They’d flit in her direction before fans extended and women began chattering behind them, their peals of laughter echoing over the sounds of horse drawn carriages and booming voices announcing the prices of fish and produce. 

Gwyn wanted to be the kind of person who’d stare back, eyes shooting daggers as she did. She wasn’t, though, even as her anger and humiliation seemed to reach a writhing fever pitch in her chest. She imagined all the things she’d say, should she have the opportunity—the way she’d cut them into ribbons until they felt as small as she did—but she kept her eyes trained on the muddy cobblestone streets before her. Causing a scene would only result in more problems for Gwyn, who always seemed to be blamed, regardless if something was actually her fault. Merrill simply did not like her, and resented being vaguely related to her father and therefore, responsible for her care. 

Gwyn might have liked the docks and the quieter bustle filled with mostly men who didn’t seem to care a single jot about her, were it not for the icy stare of Nesta Archeron. She was alone, standing on the curb with her arms crossed over her chest. 

Great.

Gwyn did look at Nesta, hoping her expression conveyed a do-not-try-it-with-me,but who knew how Nesta took it. Nesta was a Duke's daughter and came from wealth so obscene, Gwyn didn’t dare think about it. What horrible lord was waiting for her in Alsfeld—and who was worse, Gwyn mused privately.

It was fun to watch Merrill dip into a respectful bow while Nesta stared down her nose, unimpressed and maybe even bored by the whole display. “Lady Archeron,” Merrill demurred, looking as if she’d prefer to be anywhere else. “You’re looking well.”

“You don’t,” Nesta replied in that brutal way of hers. Gwyn had to bite back a laugh, reminding herself that once Merrill left, Nesta would turn that mannerless behavior on her. 

“Well,” Merrill said as the salty air tangled a strand of her hair. “Take care of yourself, Gwyneth. If you have need of me, please write.” Gwyn nodded, certain Merrill would never respond to any letter. This wasn’t goodbye—it was a washing of the hands. Merrill had done her duty and now she was free of it. 

“Remember duty,” Merrill added, perhaps guessing the slant of Gwyn’s angry thoughts. Nesta arched a brow but said nothing, lip curling over perfectly straight teeth as she watched Merrill flounce off.

“Her hat was ugly,” Nesta declared the moment Merrill was out of earshot. The own hat, perched neatly atop Nesta coiffed golden brown hair, was very fashionable with its light pink feather and the way it tilted ever so delicately. It paired well with the deep plum of her gown that seemed out of place right before the docks. Gwyn certainly felt underdressed in green, her gown from two seasons earlier and just a tad too big. She felt inadequate in new and frustrating ways.

“So is yours,” Gwyn snapped, stepping around Nesta as two burly armed, barrel chested sailors took her trunk toward a wooden ramp that led to the ship she supposed they would sail on.

Nesta blinked. “I told Elain it was ridiculous,” she grumbled, though she didn’t remove it. Nesta merely marched in step with Gwyn, following the men now charged with their care. Gwyn had expected a sharp tongued insult, not agreement.

“Why did you let her talk you into it?”

Nesta shrugged delicate shoulders, spine impossibly straight as she walked. She looked like the one who ought to be marrying a prince—not Gwyn. Gwyn looked like her maid at best, which annoyed her further. There was something she was missing to this whole arrangement, something that would come back to harm her before she pieced it all together. 

“She can be very bossy when she sets her mind to something,” Nesta said, as if Gwyn knew anything about the Archeron sisters. They were sheltered and spoiled, appearing in the city only when something grand was happening. They otherwise kept to their estate, though there were rumors about how wild the youngest of the three were.

She sounded like more interesting company than the scowling Nesta. One thing, Gwyn supposed, was how unafraid Nesta was to give orders.

“Take us to our cabin,” Nesta demanded the moment their feet were on the softly swaying deck. Two sailors exchanged a glance but otherwise said nothing at all—they merely gestured for the pair to follow them.

“We’re not to be disturbed,” Nesta began, her words seemingly well-practiced. “You may bring our meals to us directly, but otherwise no man is to enter our chamber.”

“Who would stop us?” one of the sailors asked, clearly bitter about being bossed around by a woman.

Gwyn’s own temper got the better of her. “I will.”

Whatever they saw on her face kept them from saying much more. Gwyn waited until they were taken into a large stateroom they were clearly meant to share. Nesta turned, and the sailor, guessing her irritation, threw up his palms in defense. “You can share, or you can sleep in the bunks with everyone else. Your choice, princess.”

“Don’t call me that,” she hissed before slamming the door in his face. “Must you be so…” Gwyn trailed off, unsure what she even meant to say. Nesta understood, though.

“Because otherwise they think they can take liberties. That we’re helpless and soft and sweet—that we won’t say anything if they touch us. Now they know we’ll scream, and when we arrive at port, we’ll tell someone. They’ll think twice.”

“And with Merrill?” Gwyn demanded, arms crossed over her chest.

“Her presence offends me,” Nesta said with a shrug, as if it were a given. Gwyn couldn’t help but laugh, one hand on her stomach to keep herself from doubling over.

“Mine, too.”

“She thinks herself a great humanitarian, but she’s not. She made a lot of money taking you in, for all the good it did. Look at your dress,” Nesta said, reaching for Gwyn’s sleeve. Gwyn slapped her hand away, embarrassed and self-conscious.

“What are you talking about?”

Nesta stared for a moment, hand cradled to her chest. Those icy blue eyes seemed to be a little sad for only a moment before the emotion vanished, replaced with her usual steely gaze. “Lord Rhysand paid her a hefty stipend for your education. His father and your father were friends, I suppose.”

“No one…no one told me that,” Gwyn managed as anger and betrayal clawed up her throat. “I was working.”

So a Duke paid for Gwyn’s education, and her father had left an inheritance, all pocketed by Merrill. Gwyn turned for the door, ready to march off the ship and throttle Merrill but Nesta grabbed her wrist.

“There is no point. She’s not capable of shame.”

“So she gets away with it?” Gwyn demanded with outrage. “Does no one face consequences except me?”

“She doesn’t have to get away with it,” Nesta said slyly. “I overheard father talking, and he seems to think your marriage will elevate Merrill in a way few ladies ever achieve.”

“Of course it does,” Gwyn grumbled, sitting despondently on the floral patterned bed. “She probably orchestrated it herself.”

“I’m sure. That doesn’t mean you have to marry him,” Nesta continued, holding Gwyn’s stare. 

“He’s a prince—”

“So?” Nesta demanded. “When we arrive, simply say no and stay with me and my aunt. With the new laws that require a ladies consent, you can simply decline.”

“He’s not just some spoiled lordling,” Gwyn whispered, though the idea was spreading through her like wildfire. 

“He’s only a man,” Nesta replied, sitting beside her. “He’s not a god.”

But Gwyn knew what men could do when they didn’t get what they wanted—when they felt thwarted, especially by a lesser woman. It would become a matter of principle to punish her. To control her. He had a navy at his disposal, an army willing to kill on command, and more gold than anyone in the realm. If he wanted to find her, he would. 

And when he did, he’d punish her for daring to defy him.

Still.

The idea had roots.

—-

Azriel heard the sound of boots echoing off swaying wood before he saw Cassian in the doorway. His friend flashed a grin, arms crossed over his chest.

“Ship sailed this afternoon.”

Azriel shifted in his chair, boots reclined on his desk while he toyed with his favorite dagger absently. Turning his gaze from Cassian, he couldn’t help but smile. 

“Armed?”

“Barely,” Cassian replied, his amusement plain. “It’s a merchant ship.”

“Whose?” Azriel didn’t want to make too many enemies of the merchant class, some of whom paid money for safe passage and protection from other privateers. 

“Archeron,” Cassian said. Azriel frowned, though it changed nothing. Rhys wasn’t one of them—not really. He could make his demands, could provide them with funding, could play pirate lord when it suited him, but he wasn’t out there day to day.

He didn’t know how hard Azriel had worked to organize this ambush. How he’d intercepted that letter. The spying he’d done, the dominoes set into motion. It was now or it was never. The walls of the palace were impenetrable, even to him. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Azriel decided. It didn’t. He’d rather beg forgiveness than ask permission—Rhys would do the same, were he in Azriel’s position. “Sink the ship.”

“Aye, Captain,” Cassian said, his grin returning.

Azriel’s gaze turned toward the window overlooking the sea. With a soft exhale, he smiled, too. 

Soon.

[hexxedcore]

18+ MDNI

caitlyn, who is shameless in pampering you and spoiling you. you deserve only the best, of course, and with her family luxury it isn’t as though the expenses will be missed by her parents.

caitlyn, who makes sure her purchases are going to good use by making you test out each pair of lacy navy panties she buys with her.

caitlyn, who indulges in a well-deserved form of stress relief in the shape of you after coming home from her new demanding position beside ambessa. who essentially gets pussy drunk after driving you past your fragile limits.

caitlyn, who takes advantage of her family’s spacious mansion to take you just about anywhere and everywhere should the desire arise. tobias still refuses to sit on the common room lounge.

caitlyn, who apologises for each hour she was away by punctuating them in kisses up your thighs before she eats you out. who takes you with the hunger of a starving woman.

[mihai-florescu]

The thing about being a bitch and a hater is that you need to be charismatic about it for people to still like you somehow. And most importantly you need to be a poor little meow meow people will want to help see win.

[willosword]

btw im about 70% sure lucifer's gonna die in the finale but i hope not bc like..... i hate when depressed dads die in shows :(

[radioconstructed]

// Slow burn radioapple where Al keeps being a menace because that's the best way she knows how to cope with being in crisis, her local Lucifer pushes back bc he shouldn't have to deal with this shit, they keep getting into beef,,, if he's not aware already, he becomes aware that she doesn't get this triggered by anyone else and wonders what the fuck her problem is with him,,

maybe he'll ask her. maybe she'll tell him half. she won't tell him the other half.

maybe he'll figure it out.

[leviackermanstoes]

I REALLY WANTED TO WRITE SOMETHING BASED OFF OF THIS

THIS IS 'RED'

SO ENJOY.

-

You didn't have hair like Jean. Or that fiery look in your eyes. Your skin wasn't smooth, and you were full of flaws only Logan refused to see. You weren't used to being second. Of course, you had been second for tests in the mansion or second in the bonding activities. Professor x encouraged everyone to play despite their exhausted groans, and you've played video games where you've come second to Ororo or Scott.

But never had you thought you'd be second to Logan.

There were people who had warned you. That Logan was not ready for another relationship. But you refused to see the signs in his struggles, and despite all that you had heard of the love he had for Jean, you still loved him.

Now, sitting out in the grass crying to the sound of the crickets, you regretted your decision to love another chance. He swore up and down, left and right, that he didn't love her anymore.

But a blind man could see it. A deaf woman could hear it. And a fool could do both with ease.

You were-are-a fool for Logan. You were a massive fool for him, and you had been since you played eyes on him. Every night you'd go to bed dreaming of him and every morning you dressed to impress him and get his adoration. But no matter what you did, he still looked at Jean and soon you began to lose the hope you once had.

And every night as you dreamed of him, he was dreaming of her.

-

"YOU THINK IM SOME KIND OF FOOL?!" You spat, pointing sharply at Logan.

Defensively, he scowled and slammed his hands down on the dining table, Chittering the plates and forks.

"WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!" His voice boomed in the walls of the house.

"WITH ME?!" You exclaimed, your lip quivering. "YOU ARE THE PROBLEM LOGAN!"

He threw his hands by his head acting defeated. "Yeah, right, because it's never your fault, is it?" He scoffed.

Never my fault. Right. But when he woke up one night and stabbed me because he thought I had kidnapped Jean, that was my fault. When he wakes up to breakfast in the morning but it Wasn't Jean that had cooked it. That's also my fault.

It's always my fault

"NOT MY FAULT? WHEN IS IT NOT MY FAULT LOGAN?! YOU ALWAYS MAKE IT MY FAULT. WHY ARE YOU SO AFRAID TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY?!" You howled like a grieving wife.

To an outsider, it may have looked like you were screaming blue murder, weeping to the man who killed your lover. And you might have said to certain extent, the outsider is right.

"You were never there for me! Not once!"

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. After the months and months of longing and weeping, long nights of screaming and horror within you, moments when you couldn't bear to be without Logan and moments when you didn't even want to think of him. Some nights spent holding him while he sobbed her name. Hers

"Fuck you logan" you spat venom "I tried to be there for you I really did. I really fucking tried. But you are a coward. You refused to let me help you and when you asked me for help it was always for me to put on her perfume"

You almost threw up. Gripping the wood of the table as you leant on it, wood chips splintering your nails felt softer than loving Logan.

"You are so selfish!" He boomed."You are a pathetic, cowardly woman! All I want is your help!"

You slowly got off the table, with all your strength you walked for the door. "Oh your gonna leave now?!" Logan hissed

You turnt to face him. "I was really hoping I would see the best in you logan, I was really hoping that one day we could have had a family, and loved them as our own. Now I see that if we had children, while I loved them as ours, you'd loved them as yours and jean's, and I can't have that. I can't live like this. Goodbye logan. I hope I made loving me worth your time"

[redishsunflowers]

this is all my personal opinion as a somewhat new arcane enjoyer.

act 3 of arcane really ruined it all for me. one of the things that makes me love shows so much is when they make me just feel so so much. and arcane did this so well, especially in s1. act 1 and 2 of s2 also did this very well, tho not even close to as well as s1 in my opinion.

i felt sad about isha's death, but i don't really care about jinx's. this isn't bc i cared more abt isha than jinx, a million percent no, this is bc it didnt feel liek there was any weight to it. we saw a very small clip of vi sobbing then, boom, she's almost fine???? her humming powder's lullaby isn't enough, i need to see her grieve. jinx literally completely gave up because of isha's death. vi wasn't even close to being in the same position as jinx but that was still her sister. her sister whom she tried so hard to protect and get back and finally got her back. it just didn't feel real. and on top of that, everyone thinks she's not actually dead. i wish they showed the "proof" of that later or something because i needed that grieving period from vi.

i felt so strongly about jayvik and their whole dynamic snd ending this season. in act 2 i felt that the writing for caitvi wasn't as good as it was in s1 and act 1 but then it just pissed me off at the end. i kinda liked the fact that they were in a cell when they had sex lol but i feel like it was weird timing and also could be a weird setting. but what rlly got me was the fact they don't fucking talk. they dont talk it out. one of the bjggest reasons i love jayvik is because of their lines too eachother. theyre so devestating and beautiful and thats what we got with caitvi before act 2. i was hoping they would talk about alllll the problems they were having because they were having a lot but, either they didn't or we just didn't see it. the resolution to jayvik was so satisfying because we got to know all of their closing thoughts and emotions. we didn't get to see cait apologizing or vi talking abt jinx and it just felt so emotionless.

im really sad they got rid of all the political stuff. i feel like the first step to doing that was putting vi in an enforcer outfit but with that i thought theyd explore into it and the trauma around it even more. but they didnt at all. they put more of the oppressed into the oppressors outfits and called it "fighting against a greater evil" i think thats a fine thing to happen but not if you throw away the whole conversation about politics you were having beforehand. i felt enger towards the piltover people and council just because they were a part of the oppressive regime. after s1 i felt like they tried to act like those ppl were never in the wrong. they swept it all under the rug.

it really just felt like there wasn't a clear conclusion. what happened to zaun and piltover? the scene of sevika sitting at the table isn't enough (don't get me started on sevika I MISS HER). what happened to the firelights?? everyone says ekko lost everything but like do we know what happened to the tree or to the firelights??? i wanted to see the progress the two cities made and how PILTOVER compensated for their actions.

thats it ig, im rlly trying to be happy abt the ending and to do that i have to think abt jayvik bc theyre the only perfect ending in my eyes and i miss caitvi i miss them

[searchingforglendowerwithleah]

NEW EP THOUGHTS:

Don’t mind me just watching the show late and writing my thoughts as I watch. Maybe I should get a journal. The only thing I’ve seen so far is pics of Buddie fighting right before my shift. I’m scared :(

- CAPPPPP bring him back to me showing him

-FULL MOON MENTION EPIC EP (besides Hen cheating lollolololol)

- The cut to Buck was EVIL. Take that everyone whinging he wasn’t grieving properly

- Athena looks too good

- EDDIE IS GETTING CLOCKED HE LOOKS SOO GOOD

- Buck doing psychological grief level tests on his love ones :((((

- Bobby giving Eddie advice on good deals for slow cookers :((((

- Eddie calling LA home :(((

- AUNT PEPA HAD A STROKE

- FREUDIAN SLIP

- PARAMEDIC EDDIE FORESHADOWING

- Eddie is so happy for Captain Hen

- EDDIE NOOOO NOT HIM GETTING A JOB OFFER IN EL PASO

- Nah not Henren saying how are you going to tell Buck (this is going to go so bad)

- BUCK AT CONFESSION ( I saw pics of this already) but god I wasn’t ready

- is it a sin to not be catholic 💀

- omgggg poor buck omggg Oliver’s acting

- Bobby is my Heavenly Father

- ok I’m crying omg Buck

- BOBBY SIGN EARTHQUAKE OMG

- Bobby alive is the seismic shift fr

- ooooh blue girl callback + a fun lil emergency this is actually feeling like 9-1-1

- but I’m still scared for the Buddie fight omg my nervous system is in shambles

- This blue girls teeth problems are not so great damn

- Athena back on duty looking sooo goooood sorry Bobby but grief looks so good on herrr

- BUDDIE ROOMATES

- This is shot so intimately wtf

- I can barely watch omg

- OMG NOT BUCK FINDING OUT LAST

- EDDDDIEEEEE SHUT UR GORGEOUS MOUTH

- THIS IS SUCH A LOVERS QUARREL

- OH MY GODDDD

- EDDIE

- This scene is insane

- The acting is insane

- Omg Eddie being all alone I’m going to be sick

- THEY SHOWED THE SCENE EDDIE REACTING OMG TIM LIES

- Eddie having his mental breakdowns as quietly as he can to not upset Christopher is my Roman Empire

- Buck saying sorry omg EDDIES FACE

- EDDIE ON BOBBY SAVING HIS LIFE OMG IM GONNA BE SICK

- THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR

- EDDIE WASN’T THERE HAUNTING HIM OMG

- WHAT THE FUCK

- DID EDDIE JUST SHANNON BUCK

- is Eddie going to get caught up in the earthquake on his way to leave ????

- This is insane

- Athena and Hen friendship 4everrrr

- WHY ARE CHIM AND ATHENA STILL FIGHTING

- Everyone fighting I’m sick

- Halfway through and my favourite scene certainly hasn’t happened yet like the fight was crazy but I’m too broken for this

- EDDIE IS BACK GIRL

- SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

- I SCREAMED

- CHRISTOPHER OMGGGGG

- BUCK AND CHRISTOPHER REUNION ON SCREEN OMG

- Eddie actually wins apology of the year

- PEPAAAAAAAAA

- I HAVE WON THE LOTTERY

- THIS IS INSANE

- WHAT WAS THAT LOOK CHRISTOPHER GABE EDDIE

- wait I had to rewind to see in closer detail CLOCKED like it was such a short second but like Eddie staring at Buck then Christopher looking at Eddie wait wait

- Omg Eddie is so smiley wait

- IDC BEST SCENE

- To think we were worried Buck was moving in to Madney’s house but gloriously Chimney is crashing out and making a cradle :(((

- Maddie is queen of sensibility

- This episode is exploring grief so well like wtf even was last ep

- I love Karen being in the show more

- OK THE PIC FROM HENRENS VOW RENEWAL OK BUDDIE BEING NEXT TO EACH OTHER

- Athena’s grief being COMPLICATED yesssss yesssss her and Chimney having tension YESSS MESSY

- BUCK TALKING TO PEPA WHAT IS THIS I PRAYED FOR DAYS LIKE THIS

- OUR EDDIE oh buck you have been APPROVED

- remember when Pepa clocked their asses in season 2 omggggggg

- Bobby was our centre :((((( Bobby was the sun frrrr

- OH PEPA TEASINGGGGG BUCK HE HAS BEEN APPROVED

- EMBRACING CHANGE

- OWN CHANGE BUCK

- INSANE

- Ugh Gerard’s presence just kills my mood

- A fire in 9-1-1 I’m gagged

- WOW SUCH A REALISTIC DISASTER

- Gerard they cannot make me like you (even if your actor seems like Peepaw Pookie)

- I WOULD USE GERARDS FEEDBACK SURVEY AS TOILET PAPER AFTER TAKING A MASSIVE DUMP

- Hen beeee the captain!!!!!! Plsssss!!!! Nooooo

- OK SEND EVERYBODY INCLUDING EDDIE

OKKKKKK 9-1-1 I SEEEEE YOU

Also like not Buck and Eddie not even talking it out like Eddie really said ok bandaid time here is our son to cheer you up. So I’m excited for them to talk it out stuck under life threatening debris!!!

Anyway also thank u 9-1-1 for not confirming Gay Eddie or Buddie without me I will be here live next week and I will be waiting.

Sorry if you read this all. Truly I need a diary.

[rinhaler]

on the plug sukuna subject, I often think about what will happen if yuuji proposed to the reader bc I know she's saying yesss

THAT WEEDING IS GOING TO BE SUCHHH A MESS

sukuna will be fucking the reader like 10 minutes before the ceremony, ino be distracting yuuji so they don't get caught in what they swore it's going to be their last time. At the ceremony sukuna next to Yuuji CRYING his eyes out and everyone thinks it's so sweet bc omg he's watching his little brother growing but WRONG, HE IS GRIEVING THE READERS PUSSY. And the celebration AAAA ino is trying to convince everyone to get high, sukuna and the reader having sex in a bathroom bc they can't help themselves and she looks sooo pretty, yuuji finding the whole thing out and fists fighting sukuna, megumi trying to break up the fight while nobara is recording the hole thing😭😭😭

Also the faces of everyone finding out sukuna was sleeping with the bride??? He's the one getting the blame bc everyone thinks he's such a bad influence

The whole story is ending in one of those facebook gossip reels titled "the BRIDE was fucking the grooms BROTHER" and it's a girl making a cake while telling the story or on reddit "AITA for not telling my friend my best friend is fucking his girlfriend and cover them up so they could hookup at my friends wedding" and it's from ino's user😭😭

I knoooowww anything of this is canon but I just like to think about it for funsies

HELPPPP UR RIGHT IT WOULD BE THE MESSIEST WEDDING EVER

the way im cackling at them fucking one last time before the wedding and then fucking again right after !!! JAIL!

No bc ur so right she's absolutely saying yes. She's basically wanted to marry Yuuji since they met and the fact that he's ACTUALLY proposing to her would make her head spin. Sukuna is like well.. she'd never say yes bc she'd have to live a lie for the rest of her life and then he's just DEVASTATED to see her accept as if there isn't a problem!!!

The actual wedding day would probably be the most depressing day of Sukuna's WHOLE life too. He's so heart eyes for the reader and her gorgeous dress and he wants it to be their wedding so bad but no, he's gotta be the perfect supportive big brother.

I bet he'd be saying some feral shit like he's gonna get her pregnant so she knows who she really belongs to while they're fucking. Ughhhh I need him.. why aren't we dating him again? JGDKLGHDSALJ

I think she'd actually flee the country btw if she got caught she'd NEVER be able to live it down and for it to end up all over Reddit?? AAAAAA ultimate humilation.

aaaa thank u for this ask ive never rly thought about a wedding day before but it's very soap opera for the whole truth to come out at a wedding im OBSESSED hehehe

[melrosing]

poor gurm. hotd has it problems but I do believe the showrunners are trying to make a good product. unlike d&d who gurm should rightfully resent...no way there's not a bit of projecting in any hotd criticism from him.

i think it’s probably complicated, like I get the impression that the HOTD showrunners have gotten carried away with the changes they made in S1 and now it’s demonstrable that they just don’t really have the raw talent to spin this story into something new, try as they might. I don’t think they were ever wrong for changing things up in adaptation, F&B practically requires that - but they are to blame for the shoddy execution

but apart from that I’m starting to get the impression that for GRRM it’s more complicated than that. if I had to guess, I’d say that after GOT, he was clear with HBO that he wants more faithful adaptations going forward, and he wants his opinion to count for something, and that’s why he signed. like if he’s this mad about Maelor the Missing, how mad was he when a whole host of characters and subplots were missing from GOT and the rest were butchered?? I’m gonna guess pretty mad. but he had to surrender on that count because he hadn’t finished his books and D&D + everyone involved wanted the show to end.

HOTD was supposed to be different, and it sounds like it hasn’t been. Condal suggested that removing Maelor was only temporary, only now it looks like it wasn’t, and GRRM is annoyed about that - I think he feels lied to or left out of the loop, when that was exactly what he didn’t want this time. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was initially a plan to leave Daeron out similarly, because he was conspicuously unmentioned in S1 and the Daeron references in S2 were really shoehorned in seemingly at the last minute.

and GRRM has been saying he feels like perhaps he ought to stop caring and get on with the books (I would love it if he did) but he’s still so obviously annoyed about how his work has consistently been adapted poorly and that despite all promises he can’t do anything to stop it. especially as he’s apparently mentioned all this in connection with a growing consciousness of his age and his legacy, im gonna speculate that seeing adaptations like this is really grieving him. so i feel a little bad for team hotd because i think they’re really trying, but imo they aren’t doing a good job and even if GRRM’s expectations are too high sometimes, i think it’s been plain since the fall out from GOT that he is well worth listening to.

[empty-like-my-soul]

IM BACK IN THE FREAKING BUILDING

do y'all ever think about the survivors of Evo/the Evo collapse and what happened to them

And when I say survivors, I don't mean the guys that got trapped in a death game time loop I mean like. The guys who basically got away unscathed. Like, what happened to Zee? What happened to Salem? What happened to Tom, or Mini? What happened to Netty??

I find this line of thought really interesting, so I prepared some headcannons based on how their channels are doing. Also I'm anxious so I'm including this disclaimer: THESE ARE ALL HEADCANNONS SO THEY'RE NOT TO BE INTERPRETED AS CANON. I DON'T KNOW WHAT EXPLANATION THERE IS IN CANNON, IF THERE IS ANY. Also Netty is still Martyn's wife in my Evo headcannon verse because I love her and Martyn is a convenient stepping stone

So first, let's start with the most boring: Salem is dead. I'm sorry Salem lovers, but her last video published is Evo and I can't find anything else. She died during the tragedy, it was inevitable for at least one person to die during that anyway. o7 Salem, gone too soon.

Next, Tom(ohawk) just kinda... fell off the face of the earth. Salem was one of his friends, same with Grian, who was taken, and in his grief he let himself loose contact with the others. He wasn't all that social anyway, so going off the grid wasn't hard at all. Nowadays he's doing... Something. I'm not sure what, but I'm sure that's just the way he would like it. He knows nothing about the rekidnapping or whatever.

Third, Zee buries himself in his work to try and ignore the problem. He keeps on inventing things, working on projects, and doing scientific testing at an almost frantic rate. He's burning himself out, surely, but it's better to die creatively than to think about what happened. Workoholic man who honestly terrifies me.

Fourth, Mini goes out and makes new friends. He needs a support system, but he can't bear to think about his old friends anymore after that. So he makes new friends, and only partially works though his grief. He regrets leaving them behind but he's happier now, and isn't that all that matters?

Fifth, and finally, Netty. She makes the great choice of staying, coping, and grieving with her best friend and her husband (Jimmy and Martyn respectively). It's going well, and they're making great, if non-linear, progress on their healing journey. There are always bad days, but together, they work through it. And then Martyn and Jimmy get re-kidnapped, and she's alone. She notifies the proper authorities, tells Martyn's old yogscast friends, and tries to find them. After about a year, everyone gives up. She tries to keep hope but it's lost all too easily every day they don't come back. She eventually manages to move on and live her life despite everything that happened to her. Whatever happens afterwards happens.

Anyway, that's all I have. At least, until the 21st... Hehehe

[imthebestcharacter618]

Bro did not need to make me cry today-

IM SORRRYYYY!!

For explanation, since everything went down on the discord server, I'll give you a basic rundown of how Steve died and what is currently happening.

Yknow the triangle on Steve's face? It's actually covering and keeping a parasite in hibernation. Every 90 years or so Steve has to change it. You can tell he needs to change it when he starts scratching at it or the parasite giving him nightmares. Steve doesn't usually dream. It causes him to get less sleep; and someone like Steve living with a someone like Beetle, he has a pretty decent sleep schedule

Of course, Beetle has done this before. He's the only one who actively knows about the parasite. He's helped Steve change it for the trillions of years go together, and it usually goes somethin like this:

Step 1. Needle sedative. This usually knocks both Steve and the parasite out

Step 2. Replace the rotting and breaking triangle with a new one, securely keeping the parasite under wraps.

Step 3. Beetle takes care of Steve for a bit after he wakes up.

And there usually wasn't any problem with this routine. It always went the same. There was never any issue.

Until this time. See, Steve's body and mind has been under so much pent-up stress and damage since the last time the parasite was active. Meaning as soon as the triangle was taken off Steve's face, the parasite took immediate control. It was desperate to defend its host, keep the body its been living in, on defense mode do to everything that's recently happened. This what it looks like without Steve's cover:

In continuation, it attacks Beetle. Steve's parasite is one of the many ways his hallucination powers work. Steve can still hypnotize people without it, but that parasite is what stirred that power in the first place. Which mean it could easily get into your head. And that's exactly what it did.

With the parasite controlling Steve, it attacked Beetle. Beetle changed into his demon form, putting up with The Parasites tricks. But he started to hear whispers, illusions created by the parasite. Beetle found himself pinning Steve's body, still in control by the parasite, to the wall, and... well... he tore out the parasite, not in his right mind.

Steve died because of it. The parasite was pretty much a part of Steve, with how long it had been there. All the gore happened. While Beetle was grieving Steve, he didn't even notice The Parasite, desperate to stay alive, worm its way into his body instead.

And of course, Bill felt it. Bill and Steve can feel each other's emotions, and it's like a hum in their chest that can't really go away. Well, it doesn't go away, until Steve "dies". Bill feels his little brothers sudden absence right as Ford is proposing! What a dark twist! Ford gets upset as Bill just cuts him off. Ford talks to Stan while Bill comes to Beetles and Steve's apartment to figure out what happened. And well...

Things didn't turn out great for anyone. EVERYONE found out. Silly, Stan, Ford, Bill, Johnson, Clara, Krissy, Don, Jaxson. And everyone is distraught...

And very pissed at Beetle, since they don't have the context.

Steves body can't rot, so they leave him in his old bedroom, and everyone proceeds to grieve over the next week. Beetle is nowhere to be found, having completely abandoned the apartment.

But with Steve alone, someone else finds him. A certain Six-Fingered-Claw.... maybe Steve isn't dead yet after all.

@cipherjuice-bioexorist

[foreverrandomwritings]

Season 8 Episode 17: Don’t Drink The Water.

I completely stayed off all social media last night so I wouldn’t spoil a damn thing for myself. I NEED BUDDIE TO BECOME CANON RIGHT NOW!

THAT START WAS CLINICALLY INSANE OMG. My poor baby Buck. He deserves so much better.

Omg this family I love them. Athena going back to work is a duh.

Eddie going to talk to the lesbian couple for advice on his husband Buck🥹🥹

HOT PRIEST! WE WERE ALL SUSPECTING EDDIE IN THE CONFESSIONAL BUT ITS BUCK INSTEAD? OMG THE PLOT TWIST.

Buck baby. Omg this is so sad.

Buck- “Give me a sign Bobby.”

~EARTHQUAKE~

Priest- “It was an earthquake.”

Buck- “No it was a sign from Bobby.”

Bro what kind of fucking sign is that??

I hate the dentist bro this is terrible. Bro this is literally the worst. I’m never going to the dentist again.

OMG I KNEW SHE LOOKED FAMILIAR! SMURF GIRL! WOOHOO BUCK.

I’d also be ungodly annoyed if I got a call about moved laundry lol😂

GRAHAM BRO? THIS IS INSANE CALL BACKS.

Buck and Eddie arguing over who was gonna get groceries like an old married couple.

There is literally no way Buddie is becoming canon today but whatever.

Uhm Eddie back off of Buck. He’s had a lot of character growth and doesn’t always make everything about him anymore. He’s just trying to live up to Bobby’s last words to him. Taking care of everyone like he was told to. You don’t need to be a dick.

Eddie having a consequence of his own action again and being a big baby about it per usual. Like bro if you hadn’t gotten together with your son’s mother lookalike then NONE of that would’ve happened. You wouldn’t have been in Texas. Then you wouldn’t have had to experience it alone. Then you wouldn’t have had to tell Chris. So fuck you for blaming Buck for your problems.

Awe Buck coming from above I love it.

Hen baby just take the damn promotion🙄

Athena get the fuck over it man. People are allowed to grieve differently than you.

CHRIS IS BACK IN LA WITH BUCK AND EDDIE AS A BIG FAMILY OMG OMG OMG. I’M SOBBING. I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED THEM ALL BACK TOGETHER SO BADLY.

Buck wanting to cook for him because he liked providing for his family😭😭

God this is heart wrenching bro. Chimney actually talking about his grief. Maddie being super supportive.

I love Karen and I need more of her in every episode forever.

With 12 minutes left there’s no way we are getting Buddie canon.

Aunt Pepa helping out Buck is adorable. He really deserves a mom right now. Which is obviously not going to be Athena. But like for all the talk about how Bobby brought a kid into the relationship and how Buck was Bobby’s kid and Bobby was Bucks dad no one is actually treating Buck like it was a Father he lost.

For some reason every time I see a group of people like all these fire fighters coming together it makes me stupidly emotional. I think it’s the community and support that I generally lack in my life. But have been slowly building.

We definitely aren’t getting Buddie today but im trying not to let that affect me.

Hen dude I can’t believe ya turned it down. So now some stranger is gonna come in?

Bro I wanna fight that guy. Not Graham, the meat head.

BRO IT EXPLODED RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER? WILD.

Now I need Buddie in the next episode or I won’t watch any more of 9-1-1.

[marooncookie]

(tw discussion of parental neglect, also i will not be nice to khan and nori in this one so umm Watch Out)

i've seen the sentiment around that after all of The Horrors the doormans should get to be a sillyfun family with no problems anymore and . Well. it's nice in theory but umm hot take i don't think they can be as someone who has a very similar upbringing as uzi i know the jumble of emotions that comes with a neglectful parent, or parents. not thinking there's anything wrong with it at first, shifting into thinking that you must be doing something to cause the neglect, blaming yourself for it for years until you get old enough and have the revelation that it was never your fault. and then all that self blame gets replaced with seething rage that your parents were never there for you (even though the self blame is still there subconsciously, and you still find yourself being sorry for literally just. existing?? breathing wrong?? brain what are you on about) and the thing is. yeah i think khan and nori do genuinely grow and change as parents post-series. the problem is ... the damage has already been done, y'know? uzi's already an adult. young enough to be considered a teenager still, but like, a Legal Adult. maybe her parents are there for her now, but what does it matter when she's not a child anymore? (even if deep down, you always feel like a child, like you never quite grew up properly because your parents were never there to help you) khan and nori missed their chance to be her parents, and now that she's older she doesn't even want it. you've left me behind to fend for myself my whole life, don't act like you care now. etc. them feeling sorry about it wont fix the problem. yes, khan was grieving the loss of his wife, probably swamped in work. yes, nori kept herself away from her family because she thought they'd be worse off with her there. they have their reasons, but in the end, it's always the child that reaps the consequences of their parent's actions. uzi was the child that was neglected for her entire life, and it doesn't matter why khan and nori did it, in the end. one can only be so understanding when you will never be able to be a functional adult in the same way as everyone else, when you know what's been done to you is going to affect you for the rest of your life uzi probably runs through a bunch of scenarios in her head. if nori hadn't left, would things have been better? worse? would khan not have neglected her, would they both have neglected her, would it even be worth it to have a second parent when her first never did anything for her? at first, she'd have been ecstatic to have nori back, to be able to bond with the mother she never had. but in the end, the pain of neglect rears its ugly head, and she can't help but feel angry. because if nori had been there, maybe she wouldn't have been so neglected her whole life. at least she would have had someone. just one person who cared about her. and she never got that, because nori was too busy wallowing in self pity? give her a break. it means a lot to me that uzi never explicitly forgives her parents (and if anything, seems more inclined towards not forgiving them, or at least not khan), because im tired of the child always having to bear the brunt of their parent's problems. uzi does not owe her parents forgiveness just because they feel bad about not being there for her now. if they feel so bad about it, maybe they should have been there for her when it mattered. OK UM i hope this makes sense. at all . im mentally ill about uzi doorman and her being a child of neglect means so much to me. hopefully you can get something out of my nonsensical ramblings WHATEVER ... runs away into the woods and trips over a rock and falls face first into the dirt

[bulkyphrase]

Cap-IM Rec Week - Time Travel Tuesday

Day 2 of @cap-ironman's rec week event! Today's list features stories where traveling through time turns out to be the cause of or solution to our heroes' problems.

Never Surrender, Never Give Up by Loran_Arameri, Serinah (@loraneldin, @serinah80) (MCU, Explicit, 85,896 words)

Summary: It’s 2029 and aliens have taken the Earth. Steve is dead, and everyone who’s left of the Avengers is fighting for the last few thousand humans. They don’t have much time, or rather the energy: the last of the arc reactors will fail in less than a month, and Tony can’t make another one. Their base will fall.The Earth’s best defender is out of options. *** Years they fought against the Chitauri, and they have lost. Steve is sure that Tony would agree: only traveling back in time could save them now. But Steve wasn't sure if he should, and now he's out of time so he takes one last, desperate gamble. When will he end up?

Circulaire by @gonetoarcadia (MCU, Mature, 38,412 words)

Summary: The world ends on a Wednesday. An anonymous invading force interested in nothing but destruction wipes out most of the world’s major urban centres within an hour. In the aftermath, with the few heroes left alive bitterly divided between moving forward or looking for a way back, Tony Stark and Steve Rogers set out to find out what happened, and make sure that it never does.

The rest are below the cut!

special dispensation by @jenthesweetie (MCU, Teen And Up Audiences, 673 words)

Summary: On the one hand, they’d all agreed that the quantum time machine was a dangerous technological advancement, only to be used under the most dire of circumstances. But on the other hand, it was Steve’s birthday.

Double Time by @sineala (616/Iron Man Noir, Explicit, 123,375 words)

Summary: Cassino, Italy, December 1943. Special Agent Tony Stark, former Marvels adventurer, is sent to investigate a Cosmic Cube found by the Invaders -- and it's the perfect opportunity for him to rekindle his secret romance with Steve Rogers. But when Hydra attempts to steal the Cube, an inadvertent wish for help leads to the appearance of a Tony from the future of another world: Director Stark of SHIELD. This Tony is a man with a lot on his mind. He refuses to tell them anything about the future, but he seems to know much more than he should about Captain America. And something's happened that's clearly killing him inside, but he's not talking. When Director Stark's failed attempt to return home leads to the unexpected appearance of another visitor from his universe, all the lies come undone. Now there are two wars to fight, and the second one could ruin all of them.

Relativistic Heat Conduction by @blossomsinthemist (616, Explicit, 69,298 words)

Summary: Age of Ultron-based, but not entirely canon compliant. Written for the 2013 Cap-Iron Man Reverse Big Bang. Ultron has attacked, obliterating most of the world's superheroes and resistance in a matter of hours. The remaining heroes band together and share what strength they have to get through it, to survive, and defeat Ultron once and for all. Steve Rogers grieves in the wake of the disaster and the heroes' defeat, and no one knows if he will be able to provide the leadership they need--but Tony Stark isn't about to let him slip away that easily. Also available as a podfic read by Pywren (@phyrrhicvictory)

More Than Gravity by @jenthesweetie (MCU, Teen And Up Audiences, 20,918 words)

Summary: “Aw, time travel, no.” On Christmas Eve, Tony came unstuck in time.

The God of Solid Life Advice by kehinki (MCU, Teen And Up Audiences, 1,583 words)

Summary: It's 2012. Steve is just informed by Loki that Bucky's alive. Loki also tells him some other things.

Man Out of Time by @samptra (MCU, Explicit, 39,017 words)

Summary: Closing dark eyes he tried to center his wildly gyrating thoughts. “This isn’t happening this isn’t real…” he wacked his head a few more times, “I did not go through a weird tear in the air again. There was no crazy terreract driven machine…and I defiantly did not go back in time.” This was all some sort of dream he was having a nightmare one that he’d awake from in his bed, in Avengers Tower, in the year 2013.

To Make Much of Time by @sineala (616, Teen And Up Audiences, 16,114 words)

Summary: When Iron Man rejects Steve's romantic advances, Steve is disappointed, but of course he understands -- Iron Man's secret identity is important. But when a portal opens and Tony Stark crashes into their midst from twelve years in the future, Steve starts to suspect that there are more secrets here than he can even begin to comprehend, and neither Iron Man nor Tony are providing any answers. Also available as a podfic read by @paraka

The Twice-Told Tale by @arysteia (MCU, Explicit, 15,789 words)

Summary: For someone he'd hero-worshipped for so long, Steve Rogers in the flesh is a pretty big disappointment. For one thing, he keeps looking at Tony as though he reminds him of someone else, and even if he never says anything, Tony's pretty sure it's his father. A lifetime of not measuring up to Howard's expectations is more than enough, thank you very much, and he's certainly not going to make an effort to live up to any of Steve's. Steve's pretty clearly failed to live up to his expectations, in any case, and that's not hypocritical at all.

[translucio]

more veilguard thoughts! minor spoilers below cut

stuff im liking:

still having fun with combat

level design has been good, tons to explore, solid puzzles. beautiful environments. im liking how distinct and lived in the big cities are feeling.

i am liking lucanis more than i expected.....i know Everyone is simping over him but.. i might have to as well and romance him instead of bellara 🙈

im liking how bite sized the codex entries are. makes it easy to read them all on pickup whereas in inquisition sometimes it was like godddd i want the lore but i dont wanna read five pages right now

petting cats and dogs! i love the haptic purring, that's a really good way to do it (i would honestly love to see that polished even further with variations + meowing/whining/sniffing/licking sounds thru the controller but hey, it's a tiny part of the game and what they have is fine)

the resource economy is feeling pretty decent to me, im motivated to seek out collectables, i buy stuff from vendors often, i understand the upgrade system enough to inform my decisions. it feels very god of war or ghost of tsushima. so my only worry is that i might just get bored of it after many hours as i did in those games (which, i think the solution to that is for the level design to keep things interesting and satisfying enough that theyre rewarding even without the collectibles. so we'll see)

stuff im not really liking

overall plot so far feels Just Okay. but i felt that way about 2 and inquisition too lol

it is actually starting to really bum me out that you can't talk to people at will. like, the lack of dialogue choices in it, for a bioware game, is troubling to me. these settings and characters are interesting and filling me with many questions! i want to be able to dive deeper into them, but i just cant. you just get barks for all the world npcs. and the lack of choices really makes rook feel more like a prewritten/predestined character rather than one that's really yours to characterize. i realize it's a lot of writing and voice acting $$ to have that many dialogues, but that's one of the main selling points for bioware games for me... and it feels weird that other games are now doing it better than dragon age.

similarly the lack of continuity of choices from previous games makes me sad.

i still haven't gotten all that far, but i am several hours in at this point, and i gotta say i am kinda missing side quests a bit... related to the point about lacking world dialogue, but the world is feeling a little bit underwhelming in terms of the character and lore context/depth that i find myself wanting. which was a big problem for me in inquisition as well. like sure, there are collectables and hidden paths and puzzles to navigate through, and those are absolutely a huge improvement over inquisition's. but those don't give life and flavor and narrative depth to the environment the way that having meaningful interactions with npcs does. the barks are nice, but they leave me wanting significantly more in terms of interaction and depth.

im gonna keep comparing it to god of war (2018 - haven't played ragnarok yet) since that's really the closest thing its reminding me of. and while i loved god of war, i did feel like its world was very lonely. it made up for it with its extremely honed in narrative focus on the journey of the two established characters, and the quality of its writing and voice acting both for their dialogues and the few quests with other characters. it's not a game about the setting or how it shapes the characters that live there, it's about a grieving father and son who happen to be gods.

whereas dragon age IS about its world almost as much as it is about its characters. and with such a rich setting with three prior entries to build on, it seems kind of a shame to let players explore all these places we've heard about but not meaningfully interact with the characters there outside of Big Epic Story Moments or companion-focused quests, especially when you could in the previous games.

anyway.... much to think about... still enjoying it, still have more thoughts as i keep playing