#im just gonna complain and mOVE ON | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lemon-wedges · 4 months

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#thw itch is flaring up tonight #im just gonna complain and mOVE ON #but arrrggggg #i know im healing and its gonna get better but #im just so tired of not being able to draw #i wanna get my commissions DONE i wanna work on my patreon #i just wanna get back into learning new art stuff #bwing cut off from art like this.....#idk man #feels real bad #and fustrating #and useless #and too easy to fall into some doom spiral #sigh #but it will pass i guess #the highlight to all this is that since im here at rock bottom ive kinda just embraced getring new hobbies #the muppet was very fun and its so tempting to make otacon or snake #hopwfully this week ill be able to go to tbe store and buy some balloons to start learning how to make balloon animals #then clean out the garage stuff and see if i can find any of my old magic trick props #or else i gotta invest into like facepainting or something #paper cut outs?#hmmmm we'll see......

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bacchuschucklefuck · 4 days

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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

#not art #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit #kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it #until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it #until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her #but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs #she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying #probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone #lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear #Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked #but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now #yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc #man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet #and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out #lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help #it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around #but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever #its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous #its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot #yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry #doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it #ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking

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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 5 months

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Me, while manically cleaning my room at 3:27am: I should make several large, life-changing, irreversible decisions.

#so ive been in a bad mental state lately #because of many things. but the biggest being (yes i know ive complained about this in multiple other posts)#that my best friend and my ex gf were fucking. without even asking or telling me. i got no heads up. just figured it out on my own #which sucked and now im not speaking to either of them #and when i first found out i was in a bad place physically too #i had a terrible ear infection that was so fucking painful #and i realized i could concentrate on both things. so i focused on healing #and then i remembered ny family is coming to visit for Christmas #and thats a lot to deal with. so now im focusing on cleaning the apartment. specifically my bedroom #so im manically cleaning at 3:30am while angry and stressed and trying not to focus on this thing that makes me really upset #and in the middle of cleaning ill suddenly think 'should i quit my summer camp job?' or 'should i move states again?'#its not good. but i havent acted on anything #AND in the middle of cleaning i found all of my meds #i havent been taking them for months. but i decided im gonna start taking them again #i have a few refills left but then ill have to find a psychiatrist. i dont want to. but its definitely for the best #im trying to get my life back on track and build and better it #but then something hits me and completely derails everything and makes everything so hard #so anyway im gonna go do some more cleaning and try not to make life-altering decisions. and maybe build a desk #btw i have to get up at 9am to take out my puppy. and at 11:35 i have to get ready for work. again its 3:30am #and im full of manic energy #tomorrow is going to be very bad but at least I'll have a semi-clean room

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painsandconfusion · 10 months

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I FINALLY HAD WRITING SPOONS AND WANTED TO UPDATE WHUMPING THE WHUMPERS AND I SMASHED MY FINGER ON THE WSY TO THE COFFEE SHOP AND IT BLED SO FUCKING MUCH LIKE SO MUCH LIKE IT WAS SPURTING I HAD TO STOP DRIVING AND NOW TYPING HARD I WILL RAGE

#gonna lose the nail #im just complaining at this point #i got so much blood on my clothes and my sisters truck and the furniture i was moving so now that has to be cleaned. i lost like half a cup #UGH #sand speaks #not whump #GRRRRRRR #fingore #uh #irl injury #meta whump #blood #irl medical #idk how to tw this #my finger i fuckin mangled

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leftersteindraws · 7 months

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so a second stage play adaptation for the Shinrei Tantei Yakumo Initial Files was just announced. guess its time to pack my bags again...

also, they also confirmed a sequel to the Shinrei Tantei Yakumo is starting spring next year. this series just doesn't end huh!

#psychic detective yakumo #shinrei tantei yakumo #yakumo saitou #saitou yakumo #mikoshiba gakuto #im not complaining dont get me wrong #getting my shit together as we speak #and right when i had assumed kaminaga-sensei was starting to move away to writing other things #guess my backlog is just gonna get bigger and bigger #ill try my best i guess #lefterstein rambles #not my art

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binders-and-beanies · 12 days

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#sry I need to vent more abt my tattoo pain bc I physically cannot do anything productive rn im completely and totally incapacitated #can’t read anything beyond short posts or texts. can’t eat or move at all #tried to sleep through it so it would at least Be Tomorrow so I can get medical help. but the jolts of pain make me like Jump #hence me being sent home from work early today like it’s not even that I was complaining I was just flinching involuntarily so much #and was unable to work or function at all. thank god I don’t work retail rn I remember the pain of tattoo infections in that context #it’s so Abrupt it feels like I’m being stabbed or repeatedly bitten #literally trying not to scream bc I have a roommate. but he almost certainly hears me crying and saying ouch #which sucks bc I barely know the guy lol he has no context. At least on my drive home I could scream as much as I needed #literally would go to the ER if I could afford it and that sounds so dramatic bc it is #it doesn’t feel like it can wait. genuinely don’t know how I’m gonna get through the night #I haven’t slept in like 60 hours and I doubt I will tonight. but it hurts too much to even tell if I’m tired #and I don’t have time for this!! I have so much I need to be doing. I hate that the only way I can have Time is to be Extra Disabled #in a way that leaves me completely unable to do the things I normally can fight through despite burnout #and I was just at health services yesterday asking them to do insurance paperwork that they couldn’t do #it’s embarrassing having to be like hey I was just there but can I come back #I have Another tattoo infection but I pinky promise I take such good care of them #and my artist is like the best of the best too. it’s like it doesn’t matter what either of us does to keep me safe #and I know if anyone responds to this it will be to tell me to stop getting tattoos #but that’s literally like telling me not to get top surgery if I’m immunocompromised n might have recovery complications #both are equally important gender affirming medical procedures to me I’m not joking #and I hate always having to justify this whilst in agonizing pain. I hate answering the same things every time bc still no one believes me #I say this as someone who lives every moment in baseline pain that would have your average person writhing on the floor and I ignore it #this is truly unbearable if I hadn’t been through it a million times I would think it was life threatening #just needed to get it out ig. bc it’s all I can physically do. until health services opens in 12 hours #PLEASE let them have availability tomorrow bc i have literally no option on weekends #this is just. so upsetting and embarrassing. I don’t have time or emotional capacity for this #personal #mine #vent post

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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months

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#im just gonna complain abt it here bc i just have to accept that i can't irl bc no one else gets it #its hard to b a dyslexic grad student. u have to read so much. and its good. lots of reading is good. u just have to contend with a soul #crushing amout of discouragement at the fact u just kinda cant read while ur peers r like sure i can read this in class and have things to #say abt it. if u make me read in my head in class i literally cannot fucking tell u what i just read. not a god damn thing and if i try to #let my computer read to me i cant fucking pay attention for long enough so i just have to accept that from here on out ill have to #physically read papers aloud which i hate so much. its the only way i can fucking understand things and it still makes me feel dumb bc ill #somehow still space out while reading and have to reread like 4 times before i understand wtf is being said. it takes forever and it takes #energy and i dont like talking very much and it also restricts me to only being able to read at home which is frustrating #and im like i need to stop my brain from distracting myself with things that dont matter and my counselor is like: ur ocd is trying to make #work ur whole life and im like yeah thats how i got it. its the only way i can keep swimming with the non dyslexics #so its like wtf do i do? i kinda have to take the hit and make work my whole life rn. morn the loss of other things for a while #i dunno im still a bummer rn. like im probably coming off as more an asocial freak than normal bc its hard to talk ans maintain conversation #rn. but whatever. sometimes things just suck and theres nothing u can do abt it but accept it and move on. ill learn lots of things with all #the reading i have to do and that's never a bad thing ...no matter how much i dont give a fuck abt animals #like jesus. i could not even begin to give a fuck about like 95% of mammals. fish r cool tho. plants too #but microbes is where its at. i dont understand y ppl dont understand how cool they r. oh well ill just have to tell them #if i can find my fucking enthusiasm. ugh i have to make one of my classes read a paper and i have to work with someone abt find it. she #works with like rabbits. i refuse to assign a mammal paper. i fucking refuse. we will do plants or microbes or fucking paleontology #i will fight her on this. ugh. light filtering or orchid speciation would b perfect. annoying #at least i get to work with some culturs this week #unrelated

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fooltofancy · 5 months

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#it's coooold and my head huuuurts and i don't feel gooooooooood #...#k ive complained i can move on #shift complicated and im so tired and cold and nauseous #apartment so messy brain so messier #how to tell u were just barely clinging to sanity to get through the holidays #i just Feel Bad dude it's so hard to do all of the stupid little things consistently and now i have to do all of them at once #weh #my boss last week like youre gonna have a lot of emails abt this outage when u get back but ignore them #so i ignored them #come in tonight like oh btw actually............. they fucked up the outage u were gonna be able to ignore #AND GUESS WHO STILL HASNT BEEN TRAINED ON RADIO MASTER CONTROL #gonna start biting with the intent to kill

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agayconcept · 1 month

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#im in so much fuckin pain i cant move ugh #like. typing this is excruciating #but i cant just stare at the wall or im gonna lose it eventually ugh #my pain is getring progressively worse these days and the last 2 months have been hell #doctors r worried this might be my new normal for the time being #which. uh #SUCKS #bc i cannot stand or walk for more than 5 mins #and i need a walker w me bc my cane isnt enough #and most days i am trapped in bed (or on the couch if i can make it there) unable to take care of myself #bc everything hurts and i feel like i'm being tortured #oh and my lordosis & the related pain is now at a level that might need serious medical intervention #my migraines r out of control #my joint problems r also way worse #and u kno what ? i would like to die now #thanks #truly and genuinely #im so done #i cant keep going this way #my doctor has no idea what to do #and the pain clinic im a patient of refuses to help further unless i sign up for their ridiculous pain education program #which is 8 weeks long with mandatory in-person weekly attendance (i do not live near it & cant afford transportation)#where they tell u all the ways ur pain is ur own fault and give u unrealistic and ridiculous advice abt exercise and lifestyle changes #that u Cannot do bc of said disabilites and pain #jfc #our healthcare system is broken and nobody cares if i live or die or suffer #AND im stuck dealing w my mother complaining abt my existence nonstop bc she resents me for the things i cannot do independently #so u kno what ya i am done. im so done. i give up #catch me rotting in this bed forever until i die. thats the only option being given to me

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toruvi · 2 years

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you ever go through a period in your life where everything is just changing so much and you dont really adjust well to change but you also dont want things to stay the way they are but you also get kinda sad bc even if things were shitty there were still some things that were comforting but those things just arent as comforting anymore but you dont know what can comfort you now so you’re desperately trying to hold onto what was while also hoping for something new and its jusgdfhgntjkdgrgfwelrkgjflkhjg AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY #i am a mess #i miss tumblr i miss what it was #i feel like i lost a friend group on here sometimes and i know theyre not really ~gone~ but its not the same yk #and it feels like everyone can move on but me and im just ...here?#iunnoooooooooooooooooo #i just really miss being a part of a fandom where the show was airing!!!!!! when it's active!!!!!!!!!!!#and yes itll return one more time but it wont be the same #i might not even be around the same people and sometimes it is sad to think about #idk i handle change very poorly as you can see LOL #AND I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW BEING SOCIAL COULD HELP #i am trying but i am.....realistically its hard for me to just connect with people :((((#and i get asks and people do talk to me dont get me wrong im not complaining abt that!!!#it just takes a while for me to feel like opening up ya know.......#ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im just emo #this isnt even solely about tumblr its just a lot of things happening in life in general #wwwwwwejklshfdklhgbfldjk #ANYWAYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS im gonna pour my sad onto paychecks levi #also im so sorry for being slow at answering stuff i really do enjoy replying and chatting im just down in the dumps #and want to give meaningful replies :(

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poems-of-a-lover · 1 year

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okay im gonna try to get back to sleep in a bit im so tired and i wanna just. agh. i want someone to take care of me so i don't gotta

#yknow when ur sleepy and not feeling well and ur bodys real heavy. im never moving again ever.#im just gonna complain bc im sleepy tbh #im soooo so cozy rn #thinkin abt boys a lot too #just sayin #im so eepy im gonna hopefully go to sleep soon

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pepprs · 1 year

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my mom isn’t letting my dad go back to his office bc him being out of the house stresses her out and makes her have a flare up and it’s like kind of insane. like i understand why the idea of him doing that would make her panicky and angry as someone who also struggles w separation anxiety and abandonment shit / has physical symptoms from that kind of stress (though not to the same degree ofc) but also he is a grown man. he should be allowed to go to his office and not have to shape his entire life around her needs. and she keeps guilt tripping him out of it and it’s impacting his quality of life a lot and the whole thing is kind of… hm