#im just not. *gestures wildly at brain*

[justabunchofdragons]

saw a post that the beginning of s3 could be the fall (i politely disagree?) and saw another post saying crowley walked out of heaven the way he walked out of aziraphale's bookshop at the end of s2. what if crowley never fell. not really. what if he left. what if he wanted to ask his questions and was given a warning and he refused to comply. so he left. left to show the humans that they could have a choice too.

[solarcas]

might delete the app for a while since i've been. Mentally On The Floor for a while now

[anniebeemine]

Hii. I couldn’t get reid and lila kissing episode out of my mind lol, can i request a fic with spencer getting interrupted (/kissed) while he’s rambling about something that annoyed him at work.. he’s so annoyed that he just keep talking but also keep kissing the reader back everytime until he’s just ‘wait why r u kissing me rn im literally so annoyed????’ but then he continues kissing her anyway lol. You can write however you want though! Love your fics so muuuuch!!!!!

i think about that scene at least twice a week (my roman empire tbh)

warnings: kithing

Spencer paced the length of your living room, his hands gesturing wildly as he ranted about whatever had set him off at work that day. “—And can you believe they didn’t cross-check the fingerprints before starting the entire interview process? It’s such a basic step in protocol. I mean, we wasted hours, hours, running in circles!”

You watched him, nodding sympathetically from your spot on the couch, though you could hardly get a word in between his breathless, frustrated tirade. He was adorable like this, completely wrapped up in his thoughts, even when he was annoyed. His brow furrowed, lips moving a mile a minute as he laid out every little detail of the day that had irritated him to no end.

“…It’s not even like it’s the first time, either! You’d think after all this time working together, we’d have this stuff down, but no, apparently—”

He paused as you stood up and crossed the room to where he was pacing. You had this urge to just... kiss him, mid-rant, to break through that whirlwind of frustration. Spencer glanced at you but didn’t stop talking. “—apparently, no one knows how to follow through with the simplest procedures anymore, and it’s not like I’m—"

Before he could finish, you cupped his face in your hands and pressed your lips to his, cutting off his next string of words. For a second, Spencer froze, mid-sentence, but then his lips moved instinctively, kissing you back without missing a beat.

You pulled back slightly, but his brain hadn’t quite caught up yet, and he kept talking. “—asking for perfection, just a little—”

You kissed him again.

This time, he melted a bit, his hands instinctively coming to rest on your waist. But just as you thought you had him completely, he pulled back, blinking, still distracted by the cloud of irritation hanging over him. “Wait, why are you kissing me right now?”

You grinned, biting back a laugh. “Maybe I thought kissing you might help.”

Spencer blinked at you again, clearly processing this new development. “Help... with what?”

“With getting you to stop ranting and relax for two seconds,” you teased, your hands still resting on his chest. “You were getting worked up, so I thought maybe I’d try to calm you down a bit.”

His frown deepened for a second, like he was trying to figure out whether or not he should continue being annoyed, but then he sighed. “I mean, I’m still frustrated about it, but…”

You leaned in, kissing him again, cutting him off before he could dive back into his complaints. He groaned softly, his hands slipping to your back, and after a moment, he gave in, his lips soft and warm against yours.

But then he pulled away again, furrowing his brows. “I really shouldn’t be kissing you right now. I’m so irritated.”

“Mm-hmm,” you murmured, pressing your lips to his again, and this time, he didn’t pull back.

He kissed you deeply, hands gripping your waist now, his frustration slowly ebbing away as he lost himself in the warmth of your embrace. When you finally broke apart, he sighed, resting his forehead against yours.

“Okay,” he said quietly, his tone much calmer now. “That... kind of worked.”

You grinned. “I told you it would.”

He huffed a soft laugh, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “You really know how to distract me, you know that?”

“Anytime you’re annoyed,” you whispered, trailing a finger down his chest, “I’ll be here to help.”

Spencer gave you a small, amused smile, finally letting go of the frustration he’d carried with him all evening. “Okay. I think I’m officially done being annoyed.”

“Good,” you teased, leaning in for one last kiss. “Now, what were you saying?”

He shook his head, smiling against your lips. “I don’t even remember.”

And with that, the conversation shifted into something far more pleasant than his earlier rambling, Spencer finally letting go of the day’s annoyances, and choosing to focus on you instead.

[knine-nights-loves-ac]

This started as an ask I was gonna send to @teecupangel but then it got like seven paragraphs long and I decided fuck it I’m just gonna make it a post and @ teecup. So here goes!

Another Pokémon!Desmond idea (ps: this got long, tldr; shiny Goomy uncatchable Des)

So to set the stage, AC universe happens as normal but, in the AC universe, pokemon as a franchise doesn’t exist. Just not a thing at all. So, starting off Desmond (who doesn’t know what Pokémon is) dies because of the Eye and poofs into a new universe as he does every other Tuesday.

Now, flash to a Pokémon region. I’m biased so I’ll say Kalos. But most work. Desmond appears on one of the earlier routes as a shiny Pokémon. Because I’m still biased, let’s say a shiny Goomy even though Goomies shouldn’t spawn there.

Desmond, newly goopified, doesn’t know what the fuck is going on. He’s a glob now. And the animals around him are fucking weird. And seemingly only live in the tall grass.

He can’t figure out how to use any of his “moves” outside of basically tackle and scratch and other similarly basic things. So he’s pretty dam weak, probably relatively low level, only thing he has going for him is that he’s fast and, relatively, smart. He’s still got human level intelligence which is enough to outsmart the vast majority of Pokémon.

He spends some time on this route, getting used to things, using his Eagle Vision (which he still has) to find berries, avoiding fights, and just enjoying his forced retirement to another universe. It’s Desmond, unless properly motivated, I think he’d be willing to settle in and chill.

But uh oh, trouble is afoot. In the form of! A CHILD no

This little kid toddles down the path with a belt full of pokeballs. Desmond, who is still new to this world, sees the kid and decides to approach. Why? Idk man, the brain cell got burned by the Eye.

The kid is like “OH MY GOD SHINY GOOMY!” And immediately initiates a Pokémon battle.

How does this feel to Desmond? Im not sure. But he definitely can tell somethings up when the kid starts screaming in another language, sounds like French? (If you get why, you get a cookie), and throws a ball that somehow summons another creature. Let’s say a Caterpie.

The Caterpie is low level, about as intelligent as a real caterpillar, and big. (Fun fact apparently Goomy and Caterpie are the same height). Now Desmond is concerned, especially when the kid yells a command and the huge ass bug attacks him. Caterpie only knows like three moves so it probably just tackles. Desmond, not being an idiot or actually a real Pokémon, dodges. The kid looks surprised but yells again and the Caterpie attacks again. After a few times, Desmond decides “Fuck this shit, I’m out.” and nopes on out of there. The kid is absolutely shocked that the shiny Goomy just ran from the battle and also that it dodged everything.

Desmond meanwhile, hidden now, checks on the kid and sees that they’re blue in Eagle Vision. He’s not sure whether to be surprised or not. On the one hand, he’s never seen a kid that was red, but on the other hand, this kid attacked him.

He metaphorically shrugs it off and continues foraging for berries, he’s trying out new combinations.

Meanwhile, this child runs back to wherever they came from, and eagerly spreads the news about the wild shiny Goomy they saw. Most people don’t believe them, but a couple other kids are curious enough to go looking later.

Another day begins and Desmond stumbles upon a group of kids this time. The original kid among them. They’re speaking quickly, yeah he’s pretty sure it’s French, too bad that’s one of the languages he barely gets (I don’t care if he’d know some via Ezio, he’d know 15th century French, not modern day Pokémon world French). They’re gesturing wildly and some of them are looking accusatorially at the original kid. Desmond tries to get a little closer and, just his luck, stumbles into view of the group. Uh oh.

Several minutes later, the kids are confused as hell, several Caterpies are furiously working their hamster wheel brains to understand what’s happening, and Desmond is starting to question what’s up with the people in this universe.

But something special happened this time. At one point, one of the kids threw a red and white ball at him. It bounced off his head and rolled on the ground, doing nothing. Desmond was just annoyed. The kids were flabbergasted.

Rumors spread until actual researchers are tramping through the tall grass. Desmond is definitely avoiding them. Even if they’re white in Eagle Vision, those lab coats remind him a bit too much of Abstergo.

Eventually, after the human presence becomes a bit too much, Desmond decides to hit the road and moves out from his comfy little tall grass patch in the middle of the night. He settles down again somewhere else.

Repeat cycle a few times until the whole of Kalos has heard tell of this shiny Goomy who nobody can catch and seems to roam the whole region.

Idk what’s happening from there. Begin plot of Pokémon X/Y? Maybe Desmond meets AZ? Lots of options but idk.

[harley-style]

(poly) vbs headcanons part four

hand holding headcanons! bc vbs hold hands no i dont make the rules they DO!!!! they love each other!!!!

AKITO - boy holds his partners hands so softly and gently but he's also a fucking furnace so the recipient always ends up with sweaty palms but they can never complain bc akito does physical affection the least. the most frequent form of hand holding he does is subtly linking pinkies, he is a loser-brained wet cat. he and toya hold hands the most naturally, partner buffs and all, while an needs to make it a challenge (but he secretly enjoys it kehehehehe). with kohane he is the gentlest bc he doesnt like hurting her

AN - she's ALWAYS reaching out to link hands with her partners! she kind of slyly tries to interlock fingers but toya notices almost immediately and turns the tables on an. kohane blushes a lot and an gets distracted by how cute she is. when she tries it with akito (which is a lot) this poor loser gets so stiff its embarrassing. sometimes when akito is feeling sly himself he'll immediately interlace their fingers which make an flustered enough to stutter bc her brain needs to take a pause lmao. she's easily the most excited hand holder of the bunch and she likes swinging her arm while walking! akito has complained but never fusses for too long lmao, toya tries his best to follow but kohane is the best -go with whatever an wants- partner

TOYA - this boy has rizz no one tell me otherwise bc im right. its just that he's also a corny dork. remember when i said an likes to slyly slip her hand into his and he turns the tables? toya usually brings up the back of her hand to kiss it. actually he kind of has an obsession with kissing his partner's hands, bc he thinks they're very pretty, and lbr he likes watching his partners kinda lose their minds around him. he always asks kohane if he can hold her hand though with how anxious she is about couple stuff. he also traces patterns around akitos palms, its kinda like a soothing routine for him. usually he also drops a line or two about how much he loves them, but his lines always end up so fucking corny it doesnt sound right on anyone else but toya.

KOHANE - kohane has this weird habit of only holding onto the tips of her partner's fingers if she's the one initiating the hand holding, so it takes an, akito and toya a considerable amount of time to get her used to regular hand holding. she's very cute when she gets shy though so its kind of distracting. kohane smiles coyly, almost giddy when she gets to hold their hands. she has the softest hands out of everyone in vbs. however, when she gets excited about something her grip becomes steel and she starts wildly gesturing while still holding onto her partner's hand. she and an have a thing for swinging their arms while holding hands!

[beesmygod]

HI EVERYONE: TODAY'S PAGE IS LATE.

im calling my shot too early, but i've spent the last 2 days getting my ass beat by lupus symptoms. im feeling so much better. the page is coming.

BUT in the meanwhile: i wrote this long post about why i left Hiveworks

ill put it under a readmore here on tumblr in its entirety:

intro: dont get your hopes up

look, i’m going to be straight up with you: there’s no messy drama or fallout that caused this. no juicy deets or salacious rumors to slurp down. you know if this were the case, i would have erupted across my various social medias in a frenzied rage with all the delicacy of a bull in a china shop partly for entertainment purposes. instead, this will probably be a boring at best navel gaze where i try to walk the line between pragmatically trying to explain why i left and moral grandstanding. because leaving abruptly looks weird externally, i do actually have to explain why instead of just mysteriously leaving during a period of time where i am being an obnoxious asshole. a combination of disdain for the current cultural zeitgeist and a growing culture of disrespect toward audiences has culminated in my online behavior devolving into the online version of grabbing people saying stupid shit on the street and shaking them very hard. this is something an insane person would do. i know.

the commodification and increasingly blatant commercialization of an art format that could once arguably be compared to other amateur transgressive arts (ex: underground comix, tijuana bibles) is borderline heartbreaking. not to be too dramatic, but i want to start smashing things like im a monster from the rampage arcade game to scare the NIMBYs away before they start building escape rooms where the fetish web comics used to be. there is no place unspoiled by the poison of advertising and sponsorships. except…

 

 

trying to make money in comics is a fool’s errand. go make furry porn commissions if you want to make money doing art! you’re completely out of your mind if you go into the arts to make money. full on detachment from reality if you choose comics. they should commit you if you choose web comics.

 

at hive:

i think people have a wildly different perception regarding the popularity of A Ghost Story so i have approximate data to give people an idea. having culled the SHIT out of my analytics results to remove bot traffic, i think i have relatively accurate results, i get about 1000 unique visitors a month (generously rounding up lol), about half of them are regulars, and 10% of them donate to patreon (this is, imo, an unfathomably large amount lol. shocking and humbling. thank you for your continued support of me in spite of [gestures]).  i feel like a small comic 99% of the time, but man. 1,000 is a big number. i can at least reasonably assume, i’m PRETTY sure, that i was a comparatively small comic in hiveworks.

my monthly payout was roughly $100 a month (and merch sales, if applicable) and their services included web site help, dealing with any merch sales, and site hosting in exchange for running banner ads (which have been a fixture on web comics since the conception of google’s ad program; remember the homestuck bidding wars??). banner ads felt like a small and reasonable compromise to be included in something that felt like a weird pipe dream. in certain circles, a hiveworks invitation was a stamp of quality with prestige; i was very aware of the company i was invited into keep and was initially pretty concerned with how my presence reflected onto them and their work. i was going through some serious brain problems due to a deeply stupid relationship and, as a result, i did my best to keep my head down, stay out of people’s way, and focus on not bringing undue shame to something i was well aware i was completely unsuited for. i had (and frankly, still have) no idea why i was chosen as i had not applied. i cannot stress enough that i was under no delusions as to the quality of my comic lol. my perception was that someone had stuck their neck out to make a special exception for me and i was constantly on the verge of fucking it up and humiliating them.

it was a very off-balance exchange extremely in my favor, and i was aware of this. especially since, being frank and honest here, i was bringing absolutely nothing to the table for them. i don’t want to put words in anyone’s mouth, but its a reasonable conclusion that i was more trouble than i was worth, given the infinitesimal worth.

the vast majority of hiveworks readers completely bounced off my comic, which makes perfect sense given the hiveworks audience is i think more interested in the genre they primarily host: fantasy and magical realism. in comparison, “a ghost story” is a slow, slooow burn about federal bureaucracy and being insane with extremely amateur art; i know what i am! and that’s fine! but i became a little resentful (and i tried not to! honest!) after 7 years of perpetually being put on a back burner. it felt like i was being strung along for reasons beyond my comprehension or as the baseline of acceptable awfulness for the website’s quality. someone has to be the “worst”, objectively. it’s not a great feeling to know it, coming to terms with it i think was much healthier than trying to fight it. it was a really good driving force to keep my mind off the nightmare of my life at that point and improve my art a lot.

AGS’ irrelevance was underscored by it being mentioned once over the course of 7 years on official social media networks, upon which a great deal of importance was placed. but frankly, there is nothing worse than dealing with the guy who sucks whining for the spotlight as though they are clueless as to why they are getting the shaft. so i simply achieved enlightenment by getting over it and realizing where i was in the hierarchy and how lucky i was to have so much shit done for me. i was (am, unbelievably. it never gets less wild when i sit down and really think about it) making enough through patreon that the $100 became my monthly fun money while i lived in oregon. it was welcome, but not essential.

a lot of real life, awful things happened that suck and couldn’t be avoided: one of the main points of communication and organization became terribly ill, COVID happened and obliterated shipping and manufacturing rates for apparently all eternity, uhhh the fabric of reality began to unravel lol. it’s been a terrible couple of years. i want to underscore this stuff so that people understand i was not wronged greatly in the grand scheme of things.

there are things that started to chip away at me over time, which made me question if i was a good fit at all. genuinely: the only thing i want to do is to try to live happily within my morals doing what i love to do. even and especially if it means living very broke. that’s the exchange i’m consciously choosing to make when i pick up the pen every day. due to the generosity of the people who support me or have supported me at any time (special shout out to adam, who puts up with this shit for some reason), i am able to do that. i contribute a proportional amount to the household now but tried to be (was??) 50/50 or 25/25/25/25 when i had roommates. i don’t want my one unyielding selfish choice to be anyone else’s burden.

i was told by another artist in hiveworks that my confrontational behavior could be a poor reflection on the brand, which became the tipping point in my choice to leave. to be clear, no one in charge told me this, but even conceptually i was not comfortable representing a company that i felt i was a member of out of obligation or inertia. i didn’t belong there and my presence was an active detriment instead of a tolerated nuisance.

anyway:

when the offer to leave was presented, i didn’t feel regret, or anxiety, or upset at all. i felt a placid sense of relief. i COULD leave. that’s TRUE. i had been kicking it around on my private twitter for a few months going back and forth with myself over what was more important to me: being able to take care of myself financially or doing something about my own hypocrisy that kept me up at night. if my incessant argument is that advertising based commercialization is a societal poison, then i need to put my money where my mouth is. and if i’m consistently annoying, i need to leave as a courtesy to everyone else.

i don’t regret my time with hive at all, but the overarching transformation from a collection of cartoonists to a brand is not where i want to take my art. i can’t bring myself to work even within the proximity of seven seas, a deeply abhorrent company. i am completely disinterested in wasting time or energy worrying about “the algorithm” because i don’t make comics for the computer’s sake and recognize that there’s a finite number of people interested in web comics in the world and an even more finite amount of money to spend on luxuries (because none of us have any money lol). i don’t want to repeat the familiar cycle of lamenting the death of art as we know it every 6 months.

people who are choosing to spend their limited funds supporting me are making a deliberate choice to elevate my presence in their life. i want and need to keep this in mind at all times, because it drives my attitudes toward what i want to choose to focus on. i want to keep my art (“art”) free with additional goodies being as reasonably priced as possible in the hopes that in this way we scratch each other’s back. making money drawing comics is a ridiculous privilege granted to me by people willing to sacrifice their time and money to me; i need to be thinking more about all that i have instead of worrying about what i don’t.

[msweebyness]

Class of Villainy AU: Kidnap the Principal!

Why, what a surprise! Weeby’s doing a villain short! Here’s the lowdown: In a trademark move of ignorance, the staff of the DuPont Reform Academy has decided to allow the students from the villainous classes to make…home visits for the holiday season! And some people aren’t too happy about that, particularly Ms. Vivica “Viv” Skellington, the DuPont music teacher. Who knows what’s going to happen with Ivan Oogie back in Halloween Town? That’s where we begin our tale:

(As always, credit to @imsparky2002 and @artzychic27!)

“Has that fool Damocles lost his everloving mind, Penny?!”, ranted Vivica Skellington as she stormed back and forth in the main square of her beloved Halloween Town, her girlfriend nodding as she mended a few torn stitches in her left leg, “Letting these kids out on HOLIDAY BREAK! Does he not remember how dangerous each and every one of them is?!”

“It does seem a bit reckless…”, Penny agreed in a worried tone, twisting a lock of her brilliant violet locks. Who knew what could happen with the Boogie Man back in his hometown!

“It’s completely and utterly irresponsible, is what it is! Why I oughtta scare….the wits out of him…”, the snazzily-dressed skeleton trailed off as she was suddenly hit with an idea, “Why, that’s IT!”

“…What’s it?”, Penny asked cautiously, knowing that look in her girlfriend’s eye sockets! It meant Viv was getting one of her ideas…

“Why, what better way to convince ol’ Damocles not to make this boneheaded mistake again, than to SCARE HIM STRAIGHT?! We’ll bring ‘im to Halloween Town, and give the old boy a good talking to with a little Fright Night Flair to it! Ha HA!”, Vivica explained excitedly, gesturing wildly with her bony hands.

“…If you say so, Viv…”, Penny sighed reluctantly. She wasn’t too sure about this idea, but she knew there was little chance of talking the Pumpkin Queen down when she got on a kick like this!

“And as for getting Damocles here…I know JUST the ones for the job!”, Vivica said with a sly smile.

A short while later…

The dual-faced mayor of Halloween Town cringed as he saw a certain three ghoulish children make their way into the main square, cackling and shoving each other along the way. ‘What are those little imps doing here?’

“Viv!”, he called with a nervous edge to his voice, “It’s Boogie’s Brats!”

“Oh, it’s quite alright, mayor! I asked ‘em here!”, Vivica assured, before she turned to the troublesome trio, “Ah, just the trick-or-treaters I needed to see! I’ve got a real special job for you three!”, she grinned, peaking the children’s interest.

“A special job? Just for us?”, the miscreants that were Chris, Manon and Prince Kiran smiled gleefully, skittering over to the Pumpkin Queen.

“Indeed. This task requires craft, cunning, mischief! I couldn’t think of three better people for the job!”, Vivica enthused, kneeling down before the gang of costumed youngsters. The three cackled with wicked delight.

“And we thought you didn’t like us, Viv!”, Manon giggled madly, throwing her arms around the shoulders of her two cohorts.

Vivica’s demeanor suddenly turned deadly serious.

“Now before I tell you kids, you best understand. No One outside of this square is to know about your mission! Not a single word of it to that gamblin’, buggy-brained Ivan Oogie, y’hear? Not. A. Word.”, the skeletal lass said firmly, looking deeply at each child in turn.

“Oh, yesss.”, Manon gushed, putting in her best innocent face.

“Of course, Viv!”, Chris grinned, his sharpened canines, so much like his older brother’s, gleaming bright.

“We promise!”, Kiran giggled, a hint of poison gleaming in his eyes.

Unseen behind their backs, three sets of fingers were crossed as Vivica leaned down to explain their assignment.

Another short while later…

The trio of Trick-or-Treaters piled through the gates of Halloween Town, trekking out over the hills to their clubhouse, situated in a large dead tree in the midst of a barren forest.

“Kidnap Mr. Damocles?”, the three chorused in wicked glee as they exchanged mischievous looks.

“I wanna do it!”, Manon insisted.

“No, let me!”, Kiran crowed.

“Viv said we should work together!”, Chris reminded his two companions with a roll of his eyes, bonking them both on the head.

“Three of a kind!”, Kiran agreed.

“Birds of a feather!”, Manon cheered.

“Now and forever, wheeeee!”, the three squealed as they rode the rickety old lift up to their treehouse.

(La, la, la)

(La, la, la)

(La, la, la, la, la, la)

The three exited the lift into a dark and shabby room filled with various weapons and hunting traps, all varieties of nasty bugs crawling every which where.

Kidnap the Principal, lock him up real tight

Throw away the key and then turn off all the lights!

Darting over to their wall of cage traps, Chris plucked one out and set it, giggling madly as he did so, Kiran and Manon watching with interest.

“First, we're goin' to set some bait, inside a nasty trap and wait!”, Chris explained as he placed an old lollipop inside the rusted cage, setting it on the ground.

“When he comes a-sniffing we will, snap the trap and close the gate!”, Chris continued, the three children shrieking with laughter as a large, hapless beetle scuttled to the dirty piece of candy and was snared in the trap!

“Wait, I've got a better plan, to catch this silly, stupid man!”, Manon suddenly interjected, sporting a positively batty grin as she scooped up the cage and moved to their small, dilapidated kitchen.

“Let's pop him in a boiling pot, and when he's done we'll butter him up!”, she crowed, throwing the captured bug in a pot of boiling water and then fishing it out when it was cooked just right.

Kidnap the Principal, throw him in a box

Bury him for ninety years, then see if he talks

The three kids pranced over to a chute with sharp metal teeth, beaming maniacally as the dropped the caged bug down it.

“Then Mr. Ivan, the Boogie man!”, Manon cackled, fidgeting as she heard the sounds of skittering bugs and rustling fabric down the rusted steel passage.

“Can take the whole thing over then!”, the trio chorused, excited to see what their boss would do with the pudgy, prissy principal!

He'll be so pleased, I do declare!

That he will cook him rare, whee!

The rickety cage rattled down an old pipe, eventually coming to land in a room lit by blinking casino lights. The terrified creature within trembled as a large and ominous shadow loomed over it…

“I say that we take a cannon, aim it at his door and then-“, Manon suggested eagerly, picking up Kiran and placing him in their cobbled-together catapult, the Poison Prince giggling all the way.

“Knock three times and when he answers…Damocles will be no more!”, the raven-haired boy finished, his silver eyes gleaming with excitement as Manon nodded giddily.

“You're both so stupid, think now! If we blow him up to smithereens, we may lose some pieces!”, Chris snapped, smacking his coworkers upside the heads once more before placing his hands on his hips.

“And then Viv will beat us black and green!”, the other two miscreants agreed, shuddering at the thought of the Pumpkin Queen’s anger. When Kiran attempted to get down, he fell headfirst into an old ash pot, making Manon and Chris smack their foreheads in exasperation.

Kidnap the Principal, tie him in a bag

Throw him in the ocean, then, see if he is sad!

Chris and Manon fished their companion out of the pot, holding upside down by his feet. Kiran’s face was covered in ash as he coughed to clear his lungs. The other two children carried him over and tossed him into the large, haunted bathtub they used as transportation.

“Because Mr. Ivan Oogie is the meanest guy around!”, Chris reminded his pals in a jittery tone, shivering as he thought of the ways of the young Boogie.

“If I were on his boogie list…”, Manon squeaked, shuddering and rubbing her arms at the thought as the old cage came back up the chute, now empty.

“I'd get out of town~!”, Kiran completed the thought as he popped his head over the rim of the bathtub, his silky hair now soaked.

“He'll be so pleased by our success!”, the Poison Prince went on to say, gripping the edges of the tub as he shook with glee.

“That he'll reward us too, I bet!”, Chris enthused, bouncing with anticipation as he hit the button that caused the tubs legs to sprout, bringing it with them as they went to gather supplies.

“Perhaps he'll make his special brew!”, Manon suggested, wringing her hands in an antsy stupor, as they looked around their inventory room.

“Of snake and spider stew (mmm)!”, the three finished together. Say what you would about the boogieman, he knew how to cook!

“We're his little henchkids and we take our job with pride! We do our best to please him and stay on his good side!”, the three kids mused to themselves, looking back on all the fine work they had done for the spookster, until Kiran splashed Manon, which led to another bout of bickering and an eye roll from Chris.

“I wish my cohorts weren't so dumb…”, Chris bemoaned, resting his head on their worktable with a heavy sigh.

“I'm not the dumb one!”, Kiran cried, his pale face turning red with anger.

“You're no fun!”, Manon pouted, crossing her arms over her chest.

“SHUT UP!”, Chris shouted, glaring at the two for interrupting his complaints.

“MAKE ME!”, Manon shrieked, tossing a broken toy at Chris’ forehead.

“I've got something, listen now! This one is real good, you'll see!”, Chris announced to his cohorts, catching their interest as he began to gather supplies.

“We'll send a present to his door! Upon there'll be a note to read!”, Chris continued, bringing a large box over to the other two children, opening it and freeing the scorpions inside.

“Now, in the box we'll wait and hide, until his curiosity, entices him to look inside!”, Chris said giddily as he shut the box and tossed it, along with some other supplies into the tub with Kiran.

“And then we'll have him, one, two, three!”, the three cheered, as Chris and Manon jumped into the walking bathtub, the trio riding it back down the lift and out into the woods!

Kidnap the Principal, beat him with a stick

Lock him up for ninety years, see what makes him tick!

They could hardly wait to see what torment they could wreak on the pompous principal before delivering him as promised.

Kidnap the Principal, chop him into bits

Mr. Ivan Oogie is sure to get his kicks

Their master would surely be proud of them! Just wait until he saw the gift they would bring him this time!

Kidnap the Principal, see what we will see

Lock him in a cage, and then throw away the key!

Ah, ha, ha (he, he, he)

The three cackled maniacally as they rode off into the distance, away from Halloween Town.

Meanwhile….

Down below the mischievous trio’s treehouse, a certain force of nightmares was grinning with malevolent glee.

“So Mr. D’s gonna be droppin’ in to see our fine little town, huh?”, Mr. Ivan Oogie cackled as he rolled his favorite set of dice. Snake Eyes, of course, which always meant some fantastic trouble would be brewing!

“What are you going to do, buggyboo?”, asked a honeylike voice, prompting the young boogieman to give a start and turn and see his beloved scallop grinning at him through the viewing portal she had likely summoned at some point without his noticing. He gave a great laugh at how she’d yet again managed to spook him. Hell’s Bells, did he love that girl!

“I’m gon’ do the best I can, Pun’kin!”, he answered her with a positively evil smile, which she returned as the two wicked sweethearts descended into a fit of terrifyingly villainous laughter.

Their dear ol’ principal was in for a restless night…

And there it was folks! Keep an eye out for the little sequel we’ve got planned! Love and hugs!

[clambuoyance]

Could you do an analysis of Conner's character with the song "I'm Still Here (Jim’s Theme from Treasure Planet)"

Because there is some correlation there but my mind ain't thinking of the words to form a sentence about it. And I've been listening to it for days- and want to hear someone talk about it. My favorite cover is Annapantsu's.

Just imagine Conner mumbling the lyrics under his breath and fumbling his fingers on the strings of the guitar mimicking its melody. He'd be so sad but finds comfort in a song that reflects his hope and his situation he was in. Like brrruuuhhh, cause I get that feeling when a song relates to me a lot and still wishes hope for the listener. Anyway got songs that makes you think of Superboy?

GOD. it's been AGES since i've seen this movie but this song is giving me brainworms. Jim even has an undercut and an earring and a cool jacket in the movie im getting ideas uh oh...

anywaysss this song is very fitting in general for like young ppl trying to grow up and form their own identity but it fits so well with kon like.

"i am a question to the world/ not an answer to be heard" idk but this is like his debut and clone origins in ROTS i guess, like what will the world look like without superman. actually i think part of kon's early character was based on the question "what would superman be like if clark was not raised by the kents when he was young?"

and the next verse is sooo him. "i won't listen anyway" yEAH he never listens he's a bit of a rebellious boy, "and i'll never be what you want me to be" *gestures wildly at his whole schtick* yeah. yeah that fits

"I'm a boy/No, I'm a man" God a major part of his whole character is relationship to aging and maturing and being young and growing up THIS DO BE HITTING DIFF

"And how can you learn what's never shown/yeah, you stand here on your own" he literally only has implanted knowledge and memories but like. He's never shown or taught things and kinda just fucks around and gets himself into messes and SOMETIMES people come in and lecture him

"And I want a moment to be real/Wanna touch things I don't feel/Wanna hold on and feel I belong" ive seen people say that another reason kon acts like That in the beginning is bc he wants to experience everything bc everything in his brain is not his own or artificial and he wants to make it his own. and ugh yes BELONGING T-T

"And how can the world want me to change" everyone telling him to grow tf up

"They're the ones that stay the same" ironically its usually HIM who doesnt want to do the changing

And then the whole "Im not here" to "Im still here" just gives me the vibes of him hating being called superboy and the very thought of being STUCK as superboy and never getting a chance to be superman, to him accepting the title and saying things like "I'm superboy! I don't have a mother or father--all I got is who I am!" LIKE no matter what he will get up again and give his whole heart and everything into things

OKAY I COULD GO ON BUT YES. GOOD SONG CHOICE

as for others that remind me of Kon:

Get Famous - The Mountain Goats (i wanted to make an animatic to this butttt oh well)

Runaway Runaway - Mars Argo

Good Kid - The Lighting Thief Musical (this whole musical fits the yj/teen hero squad but this song in particular reminds me of kon)

Zero to Hero - Hercules

So many Lana Del Rey and MARINA songs...

[hermesserpent-stuff]

so poisoned heartbeat is starting to wind down into conclusion writing chapters. and now i stare at the horizon i stare at the end of each of these stories. I think I want a loki plot. but...

i guess whiny talk under the cut just thoughts

...

a loki plot would be less of peter. and poisoned heartbeat was less peter. and people seemed to not be as invested anymore. Idk. that's my fault for writing a spiderman story lol.

I dont know.

do i go on after poisoned heartbeat?

i guess i could mix loki and stark plot ideas to bring in more peter.

Im so happy for the support ive gotten on all the stories! I'm just not sure anyone wants to read what comes next. would it not be better to leave it more open? Or is this just my stress brain from real world smacking my art?

I love the comments and questions and I dont want to leave this au! i want to stay! I love all of itbut after over 183,000 words to the main plot line and over 243,000 total stuff written around the au i dunno. Who wants to read all that mess?

(me. But as a sib told me, first 5000 is for you and after that, if you are alone, then motivation is harder. And Ive HAD so much LOVE. *gestures wildly at the writin.*) and i love you all in return.

this is too close to whining. Im sorry. But I'm a bit scared that if i stop writing this story. if people dont like the next part, i wont get to talk about it again for a long time. like all my other stories that have gotten long and have ended.

...

I live in a place where there are buildings. Homes. Homes people built and were well loved and well lived in. full of people who had so much to bring to the world.

but when the people left, taking with them their dreams and thoughts and love, the house remains. sitting in the trees. and year after year, people forget that house was there. no mail comes, because who sends mail to a house unlived in?

But i saw the house. I walked in and loved that house, and i remember it.

Maybe id be lucky. maybe my fic is like some of the houses Ive found. where I was able to walk in and look around and love inside. so the house is not forgotten as the times change. and seasons go on.

and I suppose... many people might have seen the house when I was not there. passing silently with out the same boot marks i left, but knowing the house all the same.

...

i really ought to not late post.

[bluiex]

I'm so sorry. The brain worms must be quelled.

Scar as Hyacinthus, the clever yet gentle Spartan divine hero

Grian as Apollo, the god of the sun

Grian being so in awe of Scar's beauty that he abandons his newest temple just to live with Scar, warming him with his light and spreading his wings around him like sunshine

He teaches the hero about archery (HotGuy), Prophecy (Watchers), and gymnastics (parkour)

One day while playing a friendly game of discus, Scar runs to retrieve the disc Grian threw, but it glances off the ground and strikes him in the head mortally wounding him.

The sun god clutches him distraught. No herbs or medicines or ambrosia can heal a wound Fate intended to be his last.

Sobbing, he promises to always remember him. From Scar's blood he creates the hyacinth flower, inscribing aíaī (alas) onto its petals

But the Watchers give Grian a chance to give his lover another Life. Grian revives him and makes Scar immortal so they can always be together

Scar later goes on to become the embodiment of spring. His hyacinth flowers thrive until the summer sun kills them, much like in his previous life

I should probably clarify the reason Apollo fell for him is because Hyacinthus was athletic, and Greek athletes performed naked to show off their bodies.

Scar's irresistible pecs

-🩸

IM CRYING- THIS IS SO- *gestures wildly* you made it fit them so perfectly and the story of it all- just OUGH i love greek mythos

[boypussydilf]

Tell us about Reigen (for the ask meme thing. Because someone had to ask)

fuckyes the inevitable reigen

tumblrs babygirl. i still never know what to say about reigen hes just so. so. idk, so much? second or third funniest character in the entire series (no one can ever be funnier than teru and im still debating if dimple should take second place by virtue of being dimple.) responsible and grounded authority figure for kids SORT OF. SOMETIMES. hehas problems and some of them are very identifiable and sometimes its dude what the fuck was that why are you like this. hws fascinating. he has so much good well done interesting character stuff going on but the more i try to put it into words and talk about it the more i have the urge to push him down a flight of stairs instead. mp100 has the side effect of making me act more like reigen you see it goes like this i think about mob psycho -> i love it so i get excited and get energy -> when i have more energy i get way more expressive -> this builds to a point where i am standing in front of my fridge at 1am talking to absolutely no one but myself and gesturing exactly like critically acclaimed internet sex symbol arataka reigen.

Anyway i love this dude and his posse of autistic middle schoolers with wildly varying and disproportionate degrees of respect for him. If my brain ever unlocks the ability to put serious thoughts about mp100 into actual words instead of blocking them up so all i can say is “man they sure are characters” you fuckers will never hear the end of it. I like the random picture i grabbed to put in the center of this bingo because he looks like he is about to be punched in the face. Good

[the-letter-s]

One of my mutuals can write like actual essays about their medias and I envy them so much bc Im just wildly gesturing at Brawn NYBN and his interactions with the rest of that hell coterie and how he was the only person there trying to be friendly and nice to everyone else and how he thought that was reciprocated and he got fucked over because of it and how that makes the autism in my brain spin up like a generator but like. Idk How To Words It

[skellys-selfships]

New Recruit

{i hope this turned out ok!! im not the best writer and i plan on writing more and improving <3 here goes with a little oc x canon content}

New Recruit

"Okay, okay…where's the new little shit?"

Captain stood confidently in the middle of the room, staring down at his fellow Tankmen as they awkwardly stared back at him.

"The new guy? Who took a dump in your brains, where's the rookie?!"

Immediately standing up, attempting to match Captain's height, the newest recruit showed themselves. A hunched over posture and wildly sporadic fingers, twitching with anxiety, they chitter, "Mx. Stranger here-….Sir.". Captain cocks his head over, peering down at the wheezing mess of a creature below.

"Okay nerd, Stranger they call you? Today you're gonna see some action! And not like y'know, sex action. I mean war!"

Stranger, teetering from side to side, giggles, "You're gonna teach me shit? Just like that, Sir?"

"Yeaaaahhhh. Just like that you little weirdo. With your weird eyes, you look like a pile sticks. If I sneeze on ya, would ya collapse- do NOT answer that!".

The two struck out, mounting one of their many tanks. Blazing across the battlefield in a flame of decimation.

Captain awkwardly coughed, lowering his gun. Scratching his head, "So Stranger…what do you like, do? Y'know? What's your thing, everyone's got a thing, not like the thing in my pants.", he chuckled. Sparking a laugh from Stranger in response. They turn to him, resting their chin on his shoulder. "Between you and me, I'm the explodey guy. I love seeing people combust like a can of tomato paste, or a shaken soda left in the fridge-".

Captain let out a hearty laugh, gesturing towards them, "Hey everyone needs a guy that like, blows shit up. Every crew has a explodey guy, a bomb dude and all that fancy stuff that blows people apart into a small pile of shit! We got one now!".

Stranger tilted their head, staring at him. "The fuck are you talking to?!". Captain nodded, "One day….one day you'll get it, a forth wall break it's called, you little shitdisk.". The two's eyes met head on, staring at one another, ignoring the destruction and wails of agony in the battle around them.

"Y'know Stranger. You're disgusting, snotty, wheezy, and probably a maniacal murderer, and I like that. I think we can level with each other, so like.....wanna do some shit tonight?". Stranger's eyes lit up from behind their goggles, bouncing back 'n fourth in their seat, "Asking me? You?! That gets a FUCK yes from me here!". Captain grunts, clearing his throat, "So, you wanna go out and get shitfaced drunk or stay at my place? And watch something terrible on Netflix and eat microwaved popcorn?". Stranger scratched their head in thought, "Hrrmm. Coin flip?". Winking through his visor at them, Captain finger guns at them, "Yeah, let's coin flip this bitch-", his sentence was shortly interrupted by Stranger placing a kiss on his cheek. Looking back and away from them in shock, he awkwardly held a quarter between them as his flustered face lit up like a goddamn Christmas tree.

................

"Thanks soldier.....?"

The two riding off into a blood stained sunset past the war scene.

Who knows what else they did after the coin flip in there, whatever it was had to be something great.

[ectonurites]

TIMBER IS ENDGAME!!!

Sorry I’m just excited after reading the new issue of Tim’s solo but they basically confirmed it with this issue and I’m so excited!

okay so three things, sorry in advance if i sound snippy with any/all of this:

1. this was sent at around ~2am in my timezone, when the comic in question was released only like 2 hours earlier. which to me feels… a tad early to start talking in my (or anyone’s) inbox about it without any sort of spoiler/context warning before talking about the issue’s content. especially if i have not already posted about the issue myself, indicating i’ve read it. i know you did not say anything terribly specific here, but like… still. i personally prefer going into new issues completely blind aside from officially released promo stuff (aka im good with seeing solicits and the previews from dc and stuff the artists/writers may post/talk about ahead of time) so getting any other info ahead (even vague stuff) really frustrates me as a general thing. (I know that may seem hypocritical because there are times i’ve discussed/referenced leaks, but trust me when i say i don’t seek them out. sometimes they are thrust upon me because people don’t tag that shit properly, and i still have opinions all the time always, but i make a point of spoiler tagging in those scenarios).

2. in general, the concept of a comic ship (especially one with teen/young adult characters) being ‘endgame’ is just so wildly absurd to me. like without reading the issue i’d guess you’re using the phrase in a more colloquial ‘this ship is going to stick around longterm!’ way, and sure totally i’d believe that sort of thing got indicated, and that’s cool and exciting if it was! but monthly superhero comics are an ongoing medium… i guess i’m getting into semantics here but there can’t really be endgame ships if the ‘game’ never ‘ends’. even an individual book getting cancelled isn’t an actual end when it’s part of a shared universe thus the same characters can pop up elsewhere. and even if its like ‘ahhh look! the future!’ that sort of thing happens in comics every other week and can change so so easily.

3. i have not actually been keeping up to date with Tim’s current solo to begin with. i know that may seem shocking because of the [gestures vaguely to my icon and my blog in general] but it’s because unfortunately the universe had really cruel timing the day TD:R #1 released and due to that i’m still in ‘every new issue coming out just makes me think about how many months it’s been since my uncle died’ mode. so ive been avoiding the book and avoiding discussion about it for the sake of my own mental health right now. someday i’ll get around to it but idk when i’m gonna have enough… distance, I guess, to be able to.

anyways. sorry that that is probably super not the sort of response you were wanting/expecting, pls don’t think im Mad at you individual anon who sent this and i’m glad you’re excited about whatever happened in the book! this just… struck me and my brain at the wrong moment in the wrong ways, i suppose

[sincelastsession]

So my mom has my dad call me and he tells me he had me blocked and can't figure put how to fully unblock me so I can't text or call him back.

So this is frustrating to learn that he is punishing me for telling him off about his abusive behavior towards just literally anything I do.

He asks about heart stuff. I start to tell him im tired and not feelingwell and ask for patience. He interrupts to bitch at me about saying that. I ask if he's going to let me finish to answer his questions. He says No. I hang up.

I can't text him the info or call back. How convenient for him. So last night when I tried to call him and almost call my sister frantically because mom's sugar was extremely high and she wasn't answering...he just had me blocked.

If I find out that this heart issue is from stress/abuse and not genetic etc.... If it is what I think it is. I am absolutely 100% going off the rails.

They can argue at my fucking funeral about who will pay for that.

And they know every year starting this time till my birthday I become a very stressed overly stressed mess.

I don't know why. Body keeps the score or something. Brain has no clue.

They either forget my birthday or they make it about themselves.

Last year Travis got me a laptop and I don't even know what my parents did. I can't remember. I was taking care of a dying neglected family cat since they were just gonna let her die.

Fuck them.

They're so stuck up thier own asses.

I'm aware about the cost of living.

But they both make a lot of money and they are so totally lying about thier assets.

They're going "no you cosign the lease" "omg fuck you I did it already your turn" and They're treating me like garbage.

I don't know why we keep looking at houses to possibly purchase when I couldn't afford to pay the monthly payments and the utilities versus an apartment which I still couldn't pay and there are no places that I have found that are available that were in my price range if something happened to either of them.

I don't even know if I can take out any sort of loan with SSI.

I don't even think my credit is very good and I don't know anything about that and no one has ever patiently taught me and made sure that I knew what it meant. All I know is people used to buy large things like washer's and dryers and they would slowly pay them off and that would somehow magically fix the credit score.

There are places that are affordable to both or other of my parents and hopefully eventually me if I ever am able to get financially stable.

However these places are in areas where my parents have deemed it to be too black and to ghetto and too dangerous for me even though the houses are newly redone and I've driven down the streets and it doesn't really seem like there's a big problem and I'm sure cameras could be installed outside of the house that was for rent that was for like 800 bucks a month utilities included like section 8 housing but nobody wants me to live in that And I don't necessarily want to either because it's going to be loud likely in the area that I have seen.

But to them it's all about race and healthow's the people in the area act and crime rate and things of that nature and yes crime rate is important to me because I want to be safe but there is really nothing affordable at 800 or even 900 or even a $1000 a month that I have found that they have agreed to go look at with me and let me know what they think since it is their money.

Because if it was up to me and they just told me to pick out a place I would find something reasonable but it's going to be out of their price range. I've called so many places and spoken to so many realtors and I am not finding anything because they basically laugh at me when I tell them my price rang.

I don't like that my parents are like fucking losing their minds and making me lose mind by default because I mean gestures wildly. I'm sure I could react better but I've been reacting this way since I was a child and it's really really fucking hard it's especially hard when no one else wants to cooperate and work with you so you can be financially independent and fucking far away from them so they don't have to do with you and you don't have to deal with them.

But the thing is if I go quiet and I don't speak to anybody then they are up my ass and they want something from me they always call me and bother me when they want something from me they never call me to just talk to me like other parents do with their children who have grown up.

They always try to get me to pick sides and I don't even fucking care anymore.

They're both just as abusive in different ways.

They both make just as bad decisions in different ways

They both do not listen to anything I have to say because I'm younger than them and I'm apparently a big stupid idiot but then when things go wrong they're like oh my God that thing that you said would happen happened and I'm like yep it did and it wouldn't have if you had just listened to like my idea.

And I am so tired of being treated like I'm some sort of dumbass

And these are things that you don't see this is what you don't get to see and I wish I had a GoPro strap to me so I could just post every time this shit happens so it could be clearly seen and then maybe I could just Sue my parents for emotional and psychological abuse. There's a whole set of laws in the state of Louisiana that I could use to Sue them for all the abuse I have gone through unfortunately I didn't know to keep records of all the abuse I have gone through so I have no proof just like I have no proof of my neighbors being fucking terroristic cunts..

I would love to be hanging out with my friends and doing other things instead of being in my bed not able to really get up other than to go to the bathroom and grab something to eat before I start shaking from anxiety despite taking my medication for that problem. I don't know what the hell I am supposed to do. I have used every coping mechanism I am aware of in the past couple of weeks and nothing is knocking me out of this.

Also I think my autism plays a huge factor in a lot of this and I think my parents inability to educate themselves and learn about my condition and other conditions is not helping either.

You think my mom sat there and was completely truthful to you and all no she was not.

She did some bullshit too and I just decided not to even call it out because I just wanted to have a chill session. But apparently the way I talk is combative and I didn't even realize that and my vinacular is wrong and I didn't realize that either but that's how I've spoken since I was a child.

I'm not trying to do what all these people think I'm trying to do it seems like everybody else is having fucking cognitive distortions and yes I am too but nobody's looking in the mirror at themselves.

I'm sick of being the fucking scapegoat.

So I don't want to talk to any of these fucking people anymore they're not helping me in the way I need help I cannot go to all these apartment complex is by myself because the other day when I tried to talk to the lady by myself my mom just sat there and fucking kicked me and then asked questions because apparently I'm too stupid to ask those questions

And then we looked at houses for sale as if I can afford the monthly payments when my parents pass away.

My mother is fucking delusional. My father seems to have what looks like early onset Alzheimer's Or dementia or he's just a fucking monster and he really needs mood stabilizers or an anti psychotic.

They're both insane

No I don't think I'm exactly saying either but at least I'm fucking aware of most of what I do and say that is wrong. At least I'm the one going to therapy and trying to just fix everything so everybody's happy with me so I don't have to deal with any more abuse for the rest of my God damn life.

And I don't know how long my life will be because I have so many stress-related problems and I'm not getting a break and I'm unable to relax and it is hell. I can't even ask anybody else for help because there would believes me.

Because my parents have convinced everybody around me aside from Travis and my long distance boyfriend that I am a terrible awful person and completely insane and I have all these disorders that I don't have.

And it's aggravating because I want to talk to somebody that gives a fuck so badly about everything but it's too much for them.

Most of the people I know that I could talk to have never experienced anything like I have in their entire lives. When they talk about abuse they're talking about mommy and daddy yelled at them and they didn't like what mommy and daddy yelled at them about so they moved out.

And they treat that like the worst trauma on earth.

And yeah to them it must be awful.

But this is crazy.

I wish that my mom and dad had just yelled at me and I had the money to just go move out and live on my own and do a job and not have to worry about anybody but myself

And a thing is I would like to only worry about myself but everybody else has to bitch me out because I'm not worrying about them are doing anything for them.

They tell me not to care about what anybody thinks or says to me but then they treat me like shit and expect me to care. And I do care I care a tremendous amount I care more than anybody else would to put up with this bullshit.

I gave my mother a bag of things to give to my sister for harm reduction and birth control etc that I got at the show a while back and she never sent me a thank you hello nothing.

She still hasn't even apologized. She thinks she owns the house that my parents own together.

She thinks that her and her military fiance are going to move into the house and fix it up when my dad dies and take it over and throw everything of mine onto the street because my room is completely blocked off and has been for the past fucking 8 years.

But she unblocks it and goes in there and steals my shit and then blocks it back.

And if I find out that she stole the ring my grandmother left me before she died I'm going to beat her ass and I'm probably going to go to jail for it and I don't care anymore because I'm having a heart condition that is very concerning anyway and my life expectancy if it is what they think it is I don't know how long I'm gonna live.

Do everybody can just fight over who's going to pay for my funeral if I die early.

A fight about everything else they fight about helping me find a place to live that's not distressing or hurting me to go up and down the stairs.

I find places I show them there's always something wrong with it.

I tried to talk to them I try my hardest To be perfect for them and there's always something wrong with me.

I try to live my own life and I'm not even allowed to do that because that's wrong

And I do feel trapped I feel trapped that there's no direction I can go in without getting fucked over

Everybody's like you should be thankful you have a place to live yeah it's a gilded fucking cage

And I wouldn't even say gilded it's a slum apartment everything in this apartment was disgusting when I moved in and it's still disgusting and nobody has paid me to fix the blood stains on the wall and the other gross scary crap that I just have to put things over.

I mean last year I just asked my parents if they would get me some bookshelves and that never happened that's all I wanted for my birthday with some bookshelves or the access to my old bedroom so I could get my bookshelves and bring them here but then they were planning to move me back then and got my hopes up and then more like never mind.

And I wasn't doing so great back then and now I'm doing even worse and I told them I needed to do some moving or it was going to get worse I told them.

My mom might sit across from you and talk about her job as a psychnurse but she really hasn't been there that long and she really doesn't know what she's talking about other than charting language. She's in the fishbowl I've been on the other side of that multiple times. She is not very compassionate towards me. It is very frustrating to hear about how she calmed down a patient in distress a patient who is having similar issues to mine and then she can't treat me the same way and be gentle with me the same why because I'm her daughter and she has resentments and other issues she holds against me and these people are strangers and it's her job to not be a bitch to them.

My mother originally worked in the OR and then she did home health and she did insurance and she's done pretty much all the nursing jobs you can think of however it's really interesting that she doesn't really retain much of the information. Like in order to renew her CE u's she just goes online and looks up the answer.

Which is funny because she told me she doesn't even know how to turn her computer on and open Google or open her email.

She has always acted helpless because she was enabled to act that way by my grandparents and my uncle's have warned me about this throughout my entire life and I thought they were being mean but they're correct they are absolutely correct.

And I have chewed my uncle out and taken my father's car and driven home before after they got divorced.

Because my uncle decided to invite me and my father and my sister ought to eat and then proceeded to talk shit about my mother and my dad and me and my sister came in one car and my uncle came in his big giant SUV.

And I got sick of them talking shit about my mother at that point in time they were just trashing her especially in front of my sister who is very young. And I asked for the car keys to get something out of the car and then I took the car and I drove home and I left them at the restaurant with my uncle so my uncle could drop them at the house.

And yes I did get screamed at about that 4 hours and punished.

And I've told my mom about it but she doesn't remember nor does she care that I took up for her because I didn't chew my uncle out when I had him on the phone so he could tell her that the Army romance that she is still involved in is not real because he knows the general that she thinks she's talking to.

And the thing is she didn't voice any complaints or anything with me after I had called him and my friend who has a wife that works with the FBI that straight out told my mother it was not real.

She just said OK and accepted it and I asked her if she was upset with me and she said no.

And then she went ahead and brought it up in therapy and wasted therapy time when I needed to talk with her about other thit's and I thought that she would be bringing up other important things.

But no that was her being a petty asshole.

That is her trying to justify that it's okay for her to be self-destructive and give money away that she has that she says she doesn't have to complete fucking strangers and commit fraud I had to stop her from committing like real fraud once from another scammer. She would have lost her nursing license and gone to jail.

And you know the phrase let them I try so hard to practice that but it's so hard to watch people do really dumb things when you can just tell them hey don't do that it's not going to end well let me prove it to you.

Because it hurts me to see my mom being destructive towards herself because she's lonely and she refuses to go somewhere and meet people and she likes to just sit at home in her hoarder house. And then she works her ass off and then complains about how she's in pain and having all these other problems when she's created the financial problems when she's created the financial problems that she has so it's really hard for me to feel bad for her about her pain and suffering when she is the one that created it.

Her diabetes was not her fault but her behavior towards me when her blood sugar is crazy she can control to a degree but she usually doesn't and I usually get lots of abuse during that time.

And I've already mentioned that I have been taking care of her and her diabetic ass since I was a tiny child bringing her a cup of juice or digging through her overstuffed purses for sugar tablets etc Not to mention having to draw up insulin and learn to draw it up and give her a shot if need be. But nope she doesn't remember that never happened she never did anything horrible to me.

She never made me strip and inspected my body for hickey's after I went on a date with a guy.

She never slut shamed the fuck out of me after I lost my virginity and got broken up with the same fucking day.

She's just so innocent and everybody else is the fucking devil and she's a victim.

They always tell me that I'm playing games but it's them that's playing games.

You know most parents would remember a lot of what their children went through a lot of what their children told them that they were going through and a lot of the distress signals that their children gave them but my parents never listened nor noticed any of this shit until I was dying.

I don't feel like I'm taken seriously or heard or seen or acknowledged.

Other people I feel do see me do take me seriously and do acknowledge me in some cases.

This is not like a broad spectrum feeling with everybody I speak to.

And all of this frustration and anxiety and bullshit just builds up until my birthday and then it's over with generally and then there's some sort of new nightmare that I have to deal with

Maybe it was a big fucking stupid mistake to bring my parents in but I mean it was going to be stupid either way whether I did it sooner or later. I thought maybe you know a good perspective of them would be had and that would help out with my treatment that was my thinking.

I do think it's possible to sit down with my sister and work things out so I can stop being angry And she can understand what boundaries are because she has a poor sense of boundaries and does not understand the definition. I feel that she also needs to understand that I could still put her ass in jail. And I could easily put my father in jail because I still have an injury from when he yanked my neck by my hair.

I don't feel appreciated or loved or cared about at all. I feel like everybody is just dealing with me like I am a burden or an imposition as my father likes to say I'm imposing on him and his life and I need to have my own life well I do have my own life at least I think I do I don't know what that's supposed to look like

All my parents do is sit around An act sad and have pity parties for all I am aware of. And then they bitch to me when I call them just to talk to them and say hi because they don't want to hear me speak they are so Tired of me and my existence. The resentment is palpable.

I wish I didn't have any fucking health problems. I would just leave I would take my cats and fucking disappear. I wouldn't tell anybody where I was going I was just fucking leave. Unfortunately I do have health problems both mental and physical and I can't go anywhere because all my doctors are here and it is hell finding new doctors in different places and it is entirely too stressful.

I would love to go take some money out of my bank account and just run the fuck away until my car breaks. But I can't do that that's not reasonable that's not logical that's just my flight in action.

I don't know how to explain that I haven't been able to relax my entire life I don't even know if I can I say that I relaxed or something like that but I don't actually know if I'm relaxing.

I don't really trust anybody either because everybody my entire life has just really hurt me and the people that haven't hurt me are dead.

You know I really do miss my old psychiatrist. I saw him a long time and he was more of a father figure to me than any other person in my life. I think about going and sitting at his grave every single day.

And it was so sad because like not very many people came to his funeral. He treated hundreds if not more patients.

Hey shared information with me that is top secret shit and he told me because it was things I was fascinated with and things that I was on level with chatting with him about and it didn't do any harm because nobody will believe me anyway because I was his patient and I have psych issues. But now I know a lot about things that people don't think are real but actually are.

I mean I can tell you about it if you want to know if you want to ask 1 day casually I'll tell you but no one will believe me or you.

The world doesn't work like people think it does.

There's things that exist that people can't comprehend very well.

It does have to do with time travel portals vortex's aliens and various other things

Just lots of things that people think are supernatural and it's just science that has not been released to the public. Because it would cause mass panic.

Meanwhile we have the United States that is just basically North Korea but bigger. Just heading that direction and nazi Germany direction just genociting and enabling genocide to other countries and I fucking hate it here.

I try to learn other languages on phone apps constantly but as much as I try I can't really absorb it.

And I'm scared I'm just scared all the time. I'm just having constant waves of anxiety and panic and at this point yeah I would like to try some fucking kedamine maybe that would fucking help. Maybe some alternative treatment would help but guess what I'm going to get yelled out about how much it costs and I'm gonna You get bitched out about how much I cost and what a burden I am.

I have been called a worthless stupid bitch I have been called an imposition I have been called a stupid shit I have been called a cunt I have been called everything you could possibly come up with since I was a child.

I have been punished and beaten and I don't even know how I'm still alive. I don't know because I've had so many doctors and therapists and psyche people ask me how the fuck do I do it.

I don't know I just don't really want to die because it took a while for me to survive when I was younger and I don't want to go backwards.

Like I'd rather not.

I wish that I could go foster a dog right now and take care of it and have that consume my whole fucking life. I did it before I could probably do it again except I'm having stupid heart problems so I can't do that at the same time until this gets solved.

My parents told me that I would be able to move at the end of June or the beginning of July and here we ar. And now it's been pushed to August or end of August.

And nothing has been done about any of the loud noise here. And they have blocked my number from calling the courtesy officer so I have told the corporate office that I will be calling BRPD from now on. I'm sure they're going to call me and start some shit on Monday.

You know aggravating it is to go through life when neurotypical people just speak in fucking riddles when they could just be direct. And I'm supposed to like mind read and guess what people are saying and then they look at me weird if I Ask for any sort of clarification or they make all these assumptions about me that don't make any sense.

People think I'm trying to be mean and this and that but they're not realizing I'm just being direct I'm just telling it like it is and people don't like to hear like it is.

People don't like to see a mirror of themselves people don't like seeing other people mask either.

The struggle of being autistic my entire life has been hell. And you know they should just use class bullies to identify the autistic or neurodivergent children.

Because I knew I was different as soon as I was in Montessori school.

I had no friends that I would play with back then.

I played by myself.

I got stung on the thumb by AB for the first time ever and cried and cried and cried and wanted to go home so badly and if I could have escaped I could have walked home because it was at the front of my fucking neighborhood. But nobody did anything about it they just left me outside to cry and it is a very vivid memory.

You know what else is a very vivid memory watching the repairman open a wall and take a cat that had gotten stuck in the wall and kill it in front of me

He could have just let it go but he killed it.

That was while I was at after care at a catholic school.

And then my parents not remembering to pick me up from aftercare and all The Times that the ladies that worked there had to call them and remind them that I was the last child there.

The time that 1 of the ladies actually had to bring me home because no one was answering the phone and they both thought that they had picked me up and I was just in my room.

Why did no one ever call cps.

They completely lied to the adoption agency in order to get my sister.

They took all of the quarter mass and they put it somewhere and then when they had her it flooded the house again

I used to have to wake them up because she would wake me up screaming in the middle of the night

I ended up having to move across the house so I didn't have to hear Her screaming

My parents really didn't want anything to do with me because they had a new baby to play with

And everything I said they considered rude or sarcastic and I was never trying to do any of that

I ended up just going to my friend's house and my friend's mom was there and that ended up with me getting fucking Molested and raped under that woman's care.

And then on Carlotta street is where I really wanted to be with the people over there because none of those people did anything like that nor put up with anybody that did anything like that and nobody's parents were there they were all of college-age and I was maybe 1 or 2 years younger or the same age as some of the people living there.

I got held back some people skipped grades.

Doesn't really matter that's not the point the point is I was safer with a group of people my own age then a group of people my own age and their perverted mother who did not police the kind of activity going on in her home.

And she still alive somewhere. And so we're all the people that have hurt me that haven't dropped dead yet.

And I wish they would all drop dead.

I really wish they would I wish it would be just as painful as what I experienced.

I do not feel bad about saying that.

I cared a lot about my mom's father until he hurt me and then No one believes me and my brain ended up protecting me and I just forgot about it over the years until I got in my 20s and then I was raging fucking pissed off. And no one believed me still. And he knew what he did. I don't give a fuck if alcohol was involved.

And I'm sure it was very distressing for my mom having to try and keep my grandfather alive when he was having a heart attack even though she knew what he did to me.

I don't know if I had a kid and my father molested my child I would just sit there and watch him die.

Maybe that's fucked up but I don't think it's okay to hurt children ever. In fact I think we should be allowed to hunt people that SA children I don't even think they deserve rehabilitation Or even jail I think they should just go straight to hell.

I'm not suicidal but sometimes I have the intrusive thoughg that I wish I was never fucking born. I have known more suffering than not.

Gee sorry mom and dad that I'm not making any money or able to fucking work right now let alone think because they never give me time to decompress grieve and relax and regulate.

I have needed a quiet vacation for YEARS.

I've had 8 men in the last 2-3 days friend request me and I'm BOTHERED.

They keep shooting thier shots. I keep getting weirded out. This is gross.

Literally the two openers I've gotten have been a link to music they made that sucked with absolutely no hi hello. Then the other was like "Don Jose and tacos?" Then continued to flirt despite me telling them I had a partner and was not interested. I had to tell the second one twice.

Men are fucking gross as hell. I'm already queer but I wish I could choose to be only into women at times. I do like my bi Men and the occasional gay men that for some reason hit me up.

I don't understand Joshua.

I'm not hot. I dress like Ben Affleck or a middle age dad. I have little to no interest in another partner unless it's just slow going and not sexual atm. My long distance partner keeps me busy enough and the whole Justin thing was just NO.

I am really scared about my heart having issues.

[fxrtunas]

five times meme! @etheirian​ asked:  five times watched for aion & asclepius!

i.

The very first of Asclepius’ visions happen while he daydreams atop the tallest building in Amaurot.

Oh, indeed, he is trespassing, yet how can he pass up such an opportunity to behold a city he loves at a viewpoint that most would be envious of? Of course, he imagines Eris only wishes him to be punished for leading her astray many years ago, but ‘tis an offer he thought would bear fruit larger than the labour to be had.

He dozes off there, bathed in the night sky, and the vision wraps him in its warm embrace.

Asclepius stands in a field. The sun beams down on him. It is astoundingly hot. One of the cities north, perhaps, somewhere he has not ventured before.

Voices nearby. None of which are familiar. Asclepius turns and sees two moving towards him. One wears attire beneficial for avoiding discomfort in this rigid heat, donning a hood. The other is clearly of the Convocation, judging by the mask. The Seat of… Azem?

Asclepius cannot perceive the words. It is as if they pass through water, indiscernible, the moment it reaches his ears. He waves to them, but they do not see him. How strange.  

He feels at ease, though, as if his purpose here is only to observe. The hooded one is largely uninteresting, considering how they hide so. Azem, however, talks with vibrant animation in their gestures and words, if the jovial tone of their incomprehensible voice is anything to go by. He thinks he will remember the colour of their soul.

Asclepius watches them for an unknown amount of time, familiarizing himself with their countenance. He’s certain the one that holds the seat of Azem is a woman. Venat, he thinks, though that thought is swiftly scoured by the heat.

Asclepius wakes suddenly. The night blankets him still. He sits up. Amaurot lays before him, beautiful and slow and shrouded.

A smile of wonder curves his lips. Oh, just wait until Eris hears this.

ii.

Asclepius has never bothered to hone his soul sight. Instead, the arts of healing and medicines took his fancy rather swiftly, fixating on it with a passion that often led him to lock himself many a time in libraries.

His visions have not bothered him since years past; indeed, they have only comprised of different aspects of Etheirys, unremarkably observing the landscapes absent of anyone in sight. Even the vestiges of his last vision, one of an erupting volcano, did not seem to indicate much importance.

And so, he had deemed them whimsical dreams despite how vividly such environments and emotions have painted themselves ‘pon his mind. Until…

A familiar visage, accompanied by two others. Asclepius recognizes Azem immediately, though it is still Venat. Rumours speak of her predecessor, Aether, though as Asclepius finds out, it is not the same person he saw in his first vision. That person, however, lingers with the first two, the colour of his soul vibrant and strangely… nice to Asclepius.

Asclepius blinks, letting his soul sight fade to the back of his mind. How automatically it rose from a dormant thought at the sight of the familiar stranger. He wonders what their name is.

Still, they are not currently Azem. Whatever his visions are, they are not prophetical after all. Well, at least he has these books to tide him over on the disappointing revelation. He rather doubts Eris will spare him of her teasing once she finds out.

Asclepius turns back to his books, mentally dismissing the matter and deciding not to worry over it again. He does not notice the stranger glance over at him.

iii.

Aion is his name.

Asclepius dreams of him more than a few times now. He denies still they are of the future, for they have shown him nothing of import, but upon catching wind of these visions, Eris feels more than happy to stage a first meeting. Now, somehow Asclepius is friends with him. He’s not had one other than Eris, as ever more recluse Asclepius has become through his obsessive endeavours in medicine and healing, but Aion seems to welcome him with open arms.

One of the few moments they share, when words are not yet needed, are on fields far from the city. Asclepius thinks he recognizes it from one of his visions, but he does not try to recall it. Instead, he’ll bask in the peace brought with simply watching Aion go through simple, striking movements with different weapons of choice. The literature on medicines lays on his lap, all but forgotten.

iv.

Eris returns to the star.

Aion takes the Seat of Azem.

The visions get stronger, weaving a tale of the end times.

He’s offered the Seat of Emmerololth. He avoids the responsibility and flees.

Asclepius does not know for certain what’s real or not sometimes. His foresight, as it turns out, is quite the burden, and very, very invasive of his rest. They scorch his senses, feel as real as if he lives in the falling sky, as if he is losing the world he loves, as if his brethren are truly dying around him.

But then sometimes there are quiet moments, which are what Asclepius clings to. Moments of Amaurot, where the city bustles, and he sits there idly with a book on swordsmanship. Smaller pockets, still, of happiness where he dreams of the past when Eris is still with him, still smiling and holding his hand through everything.

Then there are rarer dreams, ones of Aion. Travelling, seeing the world, excelling at being Azem. Asclepius likes these the most. At least when he wakes, he is not shaken with the grief from absence. No, instead he can feel as if he’s there with Aion, both watching but also experiencing the world through his eyes.

He’s envious, but he’s not sure exactly what of.

v.

This time, Aion watches him.

Asclepius falters, of course. This is not how things are meant to be. Aion shines much brighter, after all, and Asclepius has never been one to have any such attention on himself, no matter how confident he seems, no matter how forward he pushes himself to be to others.

So he tries to show off as best he can: the swordsmanship he has learned through the years, the effort he has put into this particular art. He weaves his sword through the air, breathing evenly, allowing his feet to guide a familiar path. It’s more calming than he thinks it is.

Asclepius finishes and bows. When Asclepius looks at Aion, the pleasure in Aion’s eyes is much clearer than it ever was in visions. The way he talks—praises—is not muffled. The smile curving his lips does not fade from Asclepius’ memory so easily.

He hopes, suddenly, Aion will take Asclepius on his next adventure. He thinks he would prefer seeing Aion in person rather than a muddled dream.