#im just really tired of seeing impossible standards

[ganondoodle]

you know, you could argue that totk is just "one bad game" in a series that doesnt have to mean anything for the future, and i should jsut move on and wait for the next one, and generally id agree, but these days i cannot help but feel like its the beginning of the end, so to say

we are seeing it in every type of media, be it series, games, movies, that stories that say anything are too risky so they go for generic slop instead- the recent news about pixar wanting to focus "mass appeal" (despite their reasoning being completely hypocritical?) is just yet another proof of that being a trend that doesnt seem to stop any time soon

and one of the problems that brings with it, besides just being boring, is that "generic mass appeal" stuff ... ends up turning around to repeat tired old stereotypes that often leads to really problematic framing (like even childrens cartoons featuring war somewhere in the middle east against evil arabs .. just like, as a backdrop), bc "mass appeal" in general really means "average white person able to spend money", which isnt the majority of people but its the ones who this is targeted towards and more often than not made by, and, no matter how much some people want to pretend its possible, its impossible to make anything that doesnt say anything, theres nothing non political, if they think something is non political its bc its aimed at them and they agree with it

thats what makes me so anxious about the future of the zelda franchise, bc, while its always been a problem, totk especially.. is exactly that imo, its generic and a boring good vs evil with no nuance to be found if you are in the target "mass appeal" but as soon as you arent, or know about the most widely used ways of framing, its kinda scary how clearly it turns into a white god appointed savior against the evil arabs imperialism simulator, and it might not have been intended as such, its so normalized that its considered simple and standard.. (i know i go on alot about it, and i dont mean media has to be sanitized uwu perfect and not feature anything problematic- i mean this as a critique of how its presented, it expects and wants you to agree with it, its not like a cautionary tale about serious things like some movies ARE, its a fantasy game 'aimed at kids' ..)

and if its true that they outsourced the writing for the game .. for the sequel to breath of the wild, one of their most successful games ever, then what does that mean for the future? that doesnt sound good at all

with the trends of the dominating media, and how totk turned out, i feel like we are seeing the start of a downfall into 'generic slop' that makes them more money more safely than anything more unique or interesting for the franchise like its happening with everything else that isnt indie

if all that wasnt the case i might not be so focused on it, i might be able to move on much easier, but i cant, i care deeply about it and i feel like im clawing at sand slipping into a giant garbage disposal, im not thrilled and excited for the next game like i was just a few years ago, or direct for that matter, im afraid of what they will do next, and i dont think thats good, and i dont think im the only one either, hyperfixation (special interest?) or not

[sexhaver]

In my niche kink/fetish community the "kink can be not sexual" people are using it to justify why they want to write about doing it with kids, or more disgustingly, talking abt it to kids. (bc theyre pedos). They make "nsfw dni!!" blogs where they use exact kink lingo and imagery, but somehow it's "sfw". (and minors are welcome to interact, if course). Also sometimes they want to post abt being into incest but not catch any heat from people weirded out by it. I don't really know why other people claim that tho.

tbh i feel like this specific flavor of "sfw kink" discourse that you're describing is mostly endemic to online communities centered around fantasies that aren't really possible to act out irl, like inflation and vore. since they're fantasies, they're also much harder to participate in non-hornily, since the only way to participate in the scene is to... fantasize about it, which, like, im not saying it's impossible to spend hours each day thinking about getting eaten or stepped on or blown up like a tire in a non-horny way, but i am saying it's happened maybe a dozen times ever in history. then you mix in the standard "inviting minors to discord to DM them about sexual stuff while telling them it's not sexual and they're so mature for their age" playbook and stuff ends predictably.

what's more interesting to me are the people making this claim about irl community spaces like the oft-bandied-about "nonsexual BDSM parties" or "platonic shibari" or what have you. setting aside for a moment the logistical issues with ensuring that everyone at these events is on the same page wrt the horniness (see that anon i got the other day about someone who gets aroused by BDSM tying up people who want it to be "nonsexual"), specifically referring to these meetups as "kinky" instead of "hobbyist" despite the nominal absence of sexual arousal gives me the exact same vibes as those pole-dancing fitness classes that try to separate themselves from the existence of strippers (NO I AM NOT SAYING POLE-DANCING IS A KINK). they want to have their cake (calling themselves "kinky"/having the allure of being Sexually Deviant) and eat it too (make sure everyone knows they aren't actually horny about it unlike those devious Sex Perverts who are just trying to get off)

[i-dont-know-nor-care-go-away]

St:SNW rant

I just saw the most amazing gifset of that moment in momento mori where chapel tells una "it's like giving birth through your mouth" (edit : it was @startrekuniverse who made the dope gif set, I love you btw)

Una and Christine are the MOST UNDERRATED dynamic. Genuinely I need to see them interact more. I've said before I don't think that T'pring is Christine's character mirror foil or whatever bc she isn't really. Una is the opposite of Christine.

Una is so put together. She is the literal poster person of first officers. She is always put together and just radiates dignity. (Somehow she gives like. Teacher vibes but I can't see her teaching a specific subject?? Maybe she just authority-s so hard I'm getting confused idk) She has been trying to be the picture perfect officer for years. She said it her self, she worries how people would see her (as an illiyern(fuck spelling I'm tired)) if she wasn't Ms. "She's beauty she's grace she's gonna punch you in the face" Because she hasn't ever had the chance to exist in starfleet without that threat of being discovered, she holds her self to this impossible standard that she some how achieves. Outside of that, she is a silly little workaholic who loves her job a little too much at times. (I mean. Tbf it's STARFLEET I'd also love it)

Compare that polished, put together-Ness of a first officer to someone who didn't even technically join starfleet, Chrsitine is part of an exchange program. (I'm only considering snw, sorry) Christine is bouncy and open as soon as we meet her, she sasses back at La'an and jokingly flirts with spock. She has the worst bedside manner and loves to chase people down hallways. Her reaction to Una bring Illiriyan was basically "I'm not a cop, I'm cool with it" She radiates weird girl in the best way possible. We see her be messy in relationships and goof off here and there. (Can you tell I hyperfixate on her all the time?) Uhura is "unburdened by conversational boundaries" and will say things on accident, Christine will say the weird thing and she will say it with her chest.

Christine is so unabashedly herself while Una is always on duty as the first officer, so professional. Una ties a lot of herself to her job and Christine loves science to the point she will chase it to other planets, she isn't tied to the ship.

There is so much space for tension and conflict between them. I can see Christine making a joke during a hard time and Una snaps. Maybe Una makes a tough call command wise that Christine disagrees with because they could've done something, the head vs the heart. They would also make an excellent team, Una with her tactical experience while Christine has science and leaps of faith.

You know those videos where the magnets are on a track and they collide really hard and the thing in the middle gets fucked up? That's what I want with them. I know im seeing the shrimp dynamics but I swear something there is worth exploring I SWEAR

[crooked-wasteland]

What's the point of making Ozzie a demon if he's not going to be evil, dangerous and deadly like demons are supposed to be? Vivziepop sucks at making demon characters.not only do her characters look nothing like demons and now they don't act like ones??? Hazbin Hotel is doomed,might as well make Hazbin a preschool show at this point.its also embarrassing that the king of hell (Lucifer) is just Stolas 2.0 from reading the leaked scripts.Id like to add more but im far too tired because this is getting absurdly painful.

I think there is valid criticism in this critique, but I also feel that, in a way, it is rather exaggerated outrage.

When it comes to demons behaving any specific way, that mainly comes down to poor world building. Spindlehorse has done very little to actually dictate how this world of hers works, and many times, it appears she actively contradicts values previously assumed.

Are there vastly different laws and social expectations between rings?

Loo Loo Land, and once again in Oops, Greed is shown to have an extremely lax approach to crimes of violence.

However, in Harvest Moon, having previously killed people results in Millie being banned from participating in the episode.

Stolas being in public with Blitz gets no notice or response of attention in Harvest Moon and again later in Ozzie's. But then the internal logic contradicts that same episode with Walley acting like it is actually a huge deal. And then for a third time the series presents an about face with Beelzebub dating Tex as if there is nothing special going on there.

Stolas cheats, but he is not wrong for that, which makes it not a flaw.

Then, the world building tries to reinforce the idea that this relationship would be a problem by trying to highlight a demon racial and status divide in Western Energy. Only for Queen Bee and Oops to backtrack again and make it extremely normalized with Beelzebub dating a common Hell Hound and Asmodeus' conflict not being about who he is dating, but the act of dating in the first place.

Going into the idea of "good" and "evil," I don't really think that is a good argument to make. There has to be some sense of conflict for a story to maintain interest, and if the idea of "evil" is the norm was played to a logical conclusion, it would feel more like a joke than anything else. Like in Good Omens, where Hell is dictated by doing the worst thing possible and anything that produces a moral positive is bad. It would completely isolate the audience from the values of the cast, which is why Crowley is depicted as having a personality and values more aligned to humans. As such, it doesn't feel like a good faith platform to stand on when criticizing the show.

What I will say is fair, however, is that Medrano has achieved an Olympic medal in trying to make her characters entirely flawless. There is no consistent character flaw that any of her cast maintains out of what is deemed necessary by the plot or depicted as not a flaw by context.

Asmodeus is quite literally perfect for Vivienne's standards. His whole life revolves around his partner, and he is willing to do whatever it takes for that partner, including murder. But that is good, actually.

Blitz is inconsistently too insecure in his relationships. He's insecure when it comes to FizzaRolli and Stolas, resulting in him burning down his own family home and violently rejecting Stolas after the night at Ozzie's. But he's so secure in other relationships that: (1) despite knowing Barbie doesn't want to see him, he tracks her down, (2) he is overbearing of Loona despite feeling like she hates him, (3) abuses Moxxie, despite having issues with losing people.

And I think that's what this criticism is actually addressing. A lack of understanding the stakes and values the world plays on while simultaneously being handed characters who are so volatile in their own values every time we see them that it is pretty much impossible to defer those values passively.

[mymangakajourney]

Why did I become an Artist?

I used to draw a lot more. In fact, one of my favorite things to do was draw as a kid, but it faded away (we all know why).

As an adult, I feel it's harder to be creative, but I had that excitement when I was fresh out of high school and I was very much inspired by seeing these game environment artists at the time. I loved seeing their process and how you could make this amazing thing from essentially nothing...from your head! To me that was mind-blowing; coming from a family who had a pretty traditional view on things: go to school, get good grades, get a job, blah blah blah...if you didn't get good grades you were considered a loser.

That's where my art journey began, really.

I eventually learned the video game industry is not exactly great, and moved on to other things. I got inspired by illustrators and animators, but soon realized I was holding myself to too high of a standard, and a lot of the advice was not good for my mental health. along with the rise of AI art I had to take a break from doing drawing for a long time. I moved on to graphic design.

I studied graphic design for 2 years, I loved making things, but it felt impossible to be one. The amount of materials I had to learn was never-ending because jobs always asked new requirements besides knowing adobe CC and programming languages. The whole list of reasons why they wouldn't accept you to the job listed is a can of worms in itself. Then you could be a freelancer.

"but don't you manage your own time as a freelancer? isn't it more easygoing, and all that?" You may ask

Not really. first of all you gotta have a skill that people would pay you for. Secondly, you gotta check how saturated that market is on the platform you want to freelance on. Next, you have to market yourself to death because you will be flooded by other people from overseas working for a lot less money than probably you do. Also if you do creative work like me your "unique" style won't show up on the site's algorithm no matter if there's people who like it or not. it's a very cookie cutter way of creating work. Why did I explain all this? Because I am tired of living cookie-cutter. I wanted to tell stories, I realized that making art is much more than making pretty images. If you want pretty images go to an AI image generator there's thousands of them online. I have learn that art is a form of communication, so I wanted to tell stories with my art. I wanted to write a webcomic. "Wait but doesn't your blog say mangaka? what does that mean?"

Yes I am really inspired by anime. I watch a lot of anime and I love the stories from them. so I want to create stories in a similar fashion. I also really like the anime art style and im really inspired by that and hope to have my own manga one day. However I want to start off with smaller goals for myself and start with learning how to draw and do a web comic first. I told myself I am not going to stress a lot about the art because then nothing will ever come out of my hands. "But most successful webcomics have amazing art, mangas too" I know but you can't just have amazing art from the get go. Also I don't want to pause my whole story just because the art is bad. Take One Punch Man for example, if you look at its early chapters it looked really unrefined. a lot of people sad One's art was terrible, even from himself, but people loved to story and now it's one of the most popular anime watched. A similar story happened with the creator of Attack on Titan

[lanafemme]

i am so tired of being the one all our insecurities fall on. i understand why. i get its a hard job because we have a hard life. but i feel like i keep “failing” at recovery. maybe i shouldnt be so hard on myself. i dont expect the same standards of other alters that i do myself. but im also just so so tired of getting better then backsliding again back into my old ways of thinking.

just when i think im over my other internalized issues our disabilities become so unmanageable and all the resentment and insecurities about our body are just being filtered into me and ughhhhh. i hate it but i cant control how i feel. im so fucking tired of my red face and awkward gait. and pain is stealing more of my favorite things away from me. i havent crocheted in months because of carpal tunnel. i cant really enjoy shopping anymore because i cant walk around that long— and even in my wheelchair i get so fatigued. nothing fits me right because im always bloated. these symptoms undeniably detract from any chance of conventional attractiveness and maybe that shouldnt matter to me so much but oh well. it does matter to me.

i was buying makeup in target the other day and there were these girls shopping and gossiping together and of course i cant be one of them because i dont look like them, i always look like a man now, i dont even have the option to pass as a woman if i want. ive always been so jealous of girls who fit in with other girls so easily and as much as i know our transition is the right choice, i feel like theres so little room left for me and what i want.

i just want to feel pretty and desired and loved. i want to not be in a body that makes every waking moment an agony. how am i supposed to love my body when i wake up in pain and then struggle through the day then go to sleep in pain. even writing this all out is straining my wrists. jfc i just want someone to hold me and tell me its ok. i want someone to want ME. not because im just an extension of my host but because im ME i wish i had someone who asks for me, who wants to see me, who picks me over my other alters, who says “i want to see lily. i miss lily.” i want someone to look at me and see the girl i am instead of the man i look like. i want to not feel awkward in a dress and lipstick. i want lots of things that are impossible i guess!

and i know that no amount of me whining about “boohoo im not anyones favorite” will solve my problems and i dont want to guilt anyone into giving me affection or whatever because that sucks. it really sucks. im not trying to do that. i just feel so fucking sad and frustrated and trapped by this stupid fucking body. and its so so much easier to just hate myself than to think kind thoughts or whatever. whyyyyyyyy why why why does every self-hating instinct the system has have to be shoved into ME, every negative thought from other alters gets filtered away and packed into my delicate heart. it feels like im suffering for their sins almost. people dont fucking understand how hard it is to be a persecutor its not being the “mean alter” its being trapped in this awful cycle of bitterness because every bitter feeling gets shoved onto you. its not a position i would wish on anyone.

[symprites-venting]

Im so tired of ppl blatantly defending shitty behavior in this damn species and ignoring the same bs from someone else just because they're popular and everyone wants their designs.

News flash, it's really fucking annoying to see the same damn ads posted 24/7 in the channels. At this point you might as well include a disclaimer that the only thing people are interested in is x person's designs and myos.

I'm not asking for people to give up their designs for free or anything, but every time I open the trading channels I see the same bullshit in every fucking ad and it's damn near impossible to find someone taking anything else.

Also the new rule about free myos is bullshit, the double standard of bitching about people "ruining other's chances" by taking free myos and acting like they're not doing the exact same thing with free customs is ridiculous, you guys don't actually care just admit it.

Also the trend of dogpiling someone just for pointing out shitty behavior is weird too. You're not better than everyone else because you encourage that shit and turn around and bash people for trading myos, as if it's not the same fucking thing.

I'm tired of cs communities and their dumbass double standards, these mfs act like they care and they couldn't give less of a fuck about the feelings of anyone actually.

♑

[keefwho]

November 24 - 2022

8:53 AM

I gotta find a way to tell my parents I don’t want ANY of their food for thanksgiving. What will probably happen is mom will make me a plate and I’ll take it to eat in my room but I’ll just throw it out. I know the status of their food/kitchen, its GROSS. REALLY gross, this isn’t me being a clean freak. Their kitchen is filthy by normal people standards. And their idea of food safety is fucked too. I don’t want to eat from a kitchen with 5 dogs in it, rotten food on the counters, most things past their use by date, perishables that have been left out for hours before being put back in the fridge, and BUGS everywhere. Fuck man. Mom’s saying she’ll give me a whole miniature hen and a pie and asking if I’ll eat with them for Thanksgiving. As much as I’d like to in theory, I won’t be. 

With literally anyone else, I’d just tell the truth. I’d just say I don’t want to eat your food for “X” reason. But I know my parents won’t understand and will jump to some wild conclusion and suggest I see therapy or some shit. Nah, ya’ll are just FILTHY by anyone’s standards. THEY need therapy, for real. Its such a dysfunctional household. 

10:54 AM

I hate when I get lonely but also don’t want to talk to anyone. There’s maybe 2 people I can think of that I’d actually want to spend time with today but they are both busy. So its gonna be a melancholic day unless I end up feeling like socializing with strangers or something. Its totally my fault for being picky. 

12:24 PM

My plan is to push through my mental anguish until I get work done, and then I can start doing something to counter how I feel. Maybe I’ll force myself to be social, or dedicate myself to some project like my VR furry world or trying to learn guitar again. 

I don’t know why it feels impossible for me to make friends. I’ve clearly already made some. But strangers seem like unreachable people. And I don’t really want to make new friends, I like the ones I have. I just wanna spend time with them. Having to talk to strangers because no one is around feels like I’m just meeting my body’s needs which is kind of like using them for my own gain. I know it’s probably a mutual exchange but I still don’t like it. I should get over it and accept myself as a social creature like everyone else is. I gotta do what I gotta do. 

1:18 PM

I think the idea of eating breakfast before 10am, then having 10am - 6pm be busy hours is a good idea. It makes me not feel so rushed with comms because I never operate so late but now I have the ability to without thinking I’m doing too much. 

2:07 PM

My whole day is off. Its sad boy hours and I’m late to finishing things. Im gonna shower and try to finish up with commissions. 

4:03 PM

I wanted to eat my little Turkey pot pie today but I’m not strong enough for it right now. It would be a little mental exercise because I have this aversion to eating things out of the bottom of my freezer even though I’ve confirmed it’s functioning properly. It’s not a very big challenge but today my mental strength is at 0. I’d rather eat something familiar and cozy especially since my appetite today has been poor. 

I hope my parents don’t expect anything out of me today. They tend to take holidays very seriously. Like it’ll be a deep personal offense if I don’t go over there and eat with them. At least thats how it used to be. I can’t remember doing anything with them for Thanksgiving last year but I think that’s because they went to a friend’s house or something. 

11:48 PM 

Sometimes I get really tired of my own art. Probably because I have to look at it constantly. But it sucks because I can’t really get a grasp on the actual quality of anything I make until a lot of time has passed. 

I wish I could just do something differently but its never that simple. I don’t even know what I’d want to do different. Anything I choose to change about how I draw has to be slow and gradual for me to know if I really like it or not. Or how practical it is. Maybe I need some more time to play around. I often stop myself from experimenting because I’m always working on things that I don’t want to take risks on. 

The solution to all my art problems is usually getting some new info into the system. Something I haven’t done in a long long time is copying art that inspires me. Watching tutorials can also help. 

My night was SAVED with some bestie time. I don’t think it’s healthy that I tend to rely so heavily on time with my friends but how do I/ should I fix that? Maybe it’s normal to feel lonely when the only people you want to hang out with are unavailable. Am I supposed to emotionally leave them behind temporarily for other people? I think I’d rather be a little sad for awhile and wait for them. I can take care of myself in the meantime. 

[hannahnicolelaman]

My name is Hannah Nicole R. Laman, I'm 16 years old.I was born on September 3,2006 at St.Paul Hospital in Tuguegarao City. Im from San mateo,Tumauini,Isabela.I am the firstborn of my parent's and I have two more siblings my younger brother and my sister. I currently studying at St.Paul University of Philippines. The first thing I want you to know about me is I like sweet foods and I can't survive a day without eating chocolates or candies. Second, I am a Wattpader this is the reason why my standard in men are so high and I love also reading about Greek Mythology. Third, I love reading and writing than solving math problems because im not really good at math. Lastly, I love positive environment and good support system.And the things that I don't like is any kind of animals especially dogs and cat. Second is I hate noises but it depends on the noise.Third,I don't like talking too much with the people im not comfortable with. Fourth is I dont wanna hangout with the people that has a negative mindset and toxic trait. Now, I want you to know more about. I am a taekwondo player since I was 9 and I don't really participate in sport contest because I was too shy to join with other people. I consider myself as a Swiftie because i love listening to Taylor Swift song and also to the other artist and singers. I love neutral colors for my things especially to my clothes. I don't like being told what to do in terms of academics because there's always a pressure and i don't like the feeling when i am pressured because instead of doing my things at my own pace, I am pressuring my self just to reach other peoples expectation. Because I know im doing it for myself and for my family because they are the one who truly believe in what i am capable to do and they know my strength and weaknesses. And the reason why I'm taking HUMSS even though I don't like speaking too much is because I want to overcome my weakness that stopping me to chase my dreams because I really want to become a Psychologist in the future if God's permit so that I can help my family as well as other people who have mental problems and by that way people will have a peaceful mind like how much I wanted for myself. And if Im tired of studying the words that always rings in my mind is what I read in one of my favorite book i've read is that "Rest but never stop and keep going, even if you have incomplete and scarred parts. Those who fly solo have the strongest wings." And this is rhe reason why I don't give up even if its too much for me to handle things that is impossible.

-I see myself as a successful and professional Psychologist. The lesson I've learned as a Paulinian is one of the greatest factor of what I am right now and my future is going to be.

-HUMSS is the best choice, because i've met a amazing people who dream to served for the country and help the people in the future.

-I'll take either Bs or Ab Psychology because I've read a book that tackles about psychological issue and because of this I tell to myslef that I want to help people to open up themselves in what they feels and thought. So that is the reason why I want to be a Psychologist and I manifest that.

[the-apprentice-bebop]

I think it's about time people realise that even if you want the so called "perfect" body, you're probably never going to get it, and that's okay. Your body just needs to be healthy for you. Yeah, averages are good for making sure you aren't seriously underweight or overweight, but trying to achieve a statistical average will only cause you hassle when you're actually okay for who you are.

I'm a dude with a little bit of weight. I've got a stomach, pudgy arms, pudgy legs. I've always had it, and no matter what I do I will still have it. I can't achieve any chiseled look, but I still eat well and exercise a little and take care of myself as much as I can. I don't have any health problems that aren't hereditary. I'm decently strong.

My mother's job requires her to be on her feet constantly, wandering around a storeroom, pulling heavy things off shelves. Her watch can measure her heart rate and it shows that her heart rate is high enough for her to be doing cardio. And yet, she's not even close to skinny. She just can't be and she never has been.

My step-dad has visible abs even when resting, and obvious muscles, and is quite skinny, but he's also on so much medication that he'll hurt himself lifting heavy things half the time. I'm inclined to think the only reason he's strong is because he was in the army for a couple years.

My little brother literally does not gain visible weight, and honestly he doesn't weigh much anyway. He's pretty short so it's not too big of a problem, but if he was any taller he'd be severely underweight. And he eats really badly, anyways. He's always been skinny, but because he got older it's gotten worse and his spine literally sticks out of his back. I don't think he could gain any weight if he TRIED.

And that's all the same family.

Some people have different body types and not everyone is going to be the peak of physical wellness and fitness. I think it's high time we at least start accepting that we can't be perfect, even if we can't love ourselves for it. If your body isn't hurting you, why change it? It's perfectly okay like that for a reason.

[godsfavoritescientist]

Chapter 1 inches ever closer to completion. There are several chunks of it that I'm 100% happy with, and still 1 scene to make major changes to. But the bottom line is, I'm so close to finishing chapter 1 I can taste it

[darkdevasofdestruction]

An Angel and A Demon ~ Pyramid Head x Reader

Update 2: My laptop restarted when I was in the middle of writing this, and trust me when I say it, I am positively pissed off, and I want to end my days, that's how bad of a day this was.

And I didn't leave the house.

That says a lot about today...

Update 1: But, without further ado, I was half-way writing this story, and I received this ask, and let me tell you...

helloooo, i absolutely adored the fanfics you wrote about kazan and danny🥺 could i request one where pyramid head is just really whipped for and in love with the survivor! reader but he doesnt know how to announce it to them so he brings her random ,,gifts" in and outside the trials and protecting her bc well, im pretty sure he cant speak so he doesnt really have any other options on how to express his feelings??

I live for it.

Bless you for sending me this, it's the reason I'm still sane right now.

I love you, baby-cakes.

Update 3: I want to kill myself so bad. Just smash my head on a wall until it explodes or sth. I was so happy with how this imagine turned out, only fuck fucking tumblr to just fucking delete EVERYTHING just as I was about to put the last gif and hit POST NOW.

--------

For the 5th time writing this :

FUCKMEDADDY - but this time - FUCKMYBRAINSOUTPLEASEIWANNADIE

Thanks.

-------

Hell - What was that place, anyway?

Some would describe it as an infinite ocean of flames and lava, where it's eternally melting-hot, and a bunch of hooved, horned, tailed red demons torture you with acid, with their red pitch forks, or boil you alive in their cauldron for soup. Or maybe you just get tortured by Stalin, who knows?

But never would have anyone thought that 'Hell' could look so...Normal. Well, normal in a very demolished, desolate, ravished way, but still...Normal, by human standards. Albeit, the never-ending loop of madness, anguish, agony and desperation of getting killed in different gruesome ways or fleeing for their lives and feeling a myriad of emotions pumping adrenaline through their veins so badly that their anxiety-meter skyrocketed to abnormal levels.

All this darkness, this hatred, this...Everything...It changed all the survivors. They became selfish, stubborn, rude, some even went as far as to sacrifice their fellow survivors in trials, just so they could survive. It was a complete mayhem that defied all kinds of reason, normality, morality or even ethics. Everyone became devoid of any laws that used to bind them to their humane sides, and now, you weren't sure if the killers were saner than the survivors or not.

But even in this abyss where you couldn't even see your hand in front of your very eyes, there was a little star - A beautiful angel radiating brightness and warmth, someone who was somehow able to guide everyone's straying souls with her benevolence.

In reality, she was merely a survivor, not the little lantern from an angler fish's head, but she treated everyone with such an untainted kindness...It was beautiful, and yet, unrequited for most parts. Everyone was still putting their own lives above all - And who could condemn them? - Perhaps their cowardice, for the girl preferred to save her fellow survivors as much as possible, even if that oftentimes assured her place on the hook, to be a sacrificial lamb for the Entity.

On the other hand, she rarely ended up on the hook - Most killers prefer to kill her themselves, instead of letting her become pray for the horrible Entity who tortured so many of them for refusing to cooperate - The Trapper, Evan MacMillan - He knew the best, with those hooks digging into his flesh, impossible to extract. He was the first to protect this girl. It wasn't much, but if he had to, he'd rather give her a swift, painless death, than seeing her without that serene, angelic smile on her face, as the Entity feeds on the last bits of her soul's beauty, the last parts of her humanity.

The other Killers were confused at the Trapper's actions, but little by little, they began to understand why this girl was so precious and special - And this domino effect hit Rin Yamaoka next, with Y/N stopping in the middle of a chase and taking off her jacket, just as Rin was about to butcher her with her katana, and she smiled, extending it to her. 'You must be cold' she said, realising that the Spirit was merely wearing a few bandages, not even her school uniform, or her kimono.

The ghost girl was shaken up by this, and told the others at the killer camp, but they just shrugged it off - Rin was a little girl who faced close to no kindness, they weren't surprised she was so taken aback by such a feat. That is, until Adiris, in a particularly terrible day, when everyone at the camp was staying away from her, as her profane censer wasn't able to cover the stench of rotting flesh - Y/N came over, taking out a small yet elegant glass bottle with pink liquid on it, spraying some on her - And now, The Plague smelled of roses and vanilla - 'You can come to me for perfume whenever you want, I always carry some with me!' she grinned at the Babylonian High Priestess, before leaving back to the survivor's camp site, leaving the ancient God symbol to stare with her mouth agape at the girl.

These words began to spread, and it was no surprise when the killers saw Susie clinging and begging her Legion friends to spare Y/N, for she was there to hug away her worries more than once, to tell her sweet words, to play with her hair and play the guitar whatever songs she wanted to hear, to get reminded of her home - She was so home sick that she freaked out, but now she was better, thanks to Y/N - 'I know you miss home, but sometimes, home is where your best friends are, and all three of them are here!' she tried to encourage the cute pink-haired girl who could only squeal and hug her new friend.

Even Ghostface wasn't exempt from falling to her charms, and they would often take silly selfies and mess around, making fun of the old horror movie tropes and doing lots of puns and pranks - So much that she even got his trust to be told about the Danny/Jed thing, and how he began his killer profession - 'You're a very talented photographer, Danny! You deserved all that recognition you got, both as a journalist, and as a killer!'

And very soon, Y/N found herself in the crushing arms of an overprotective Anna, humming her mother's lullaby together with walking through the forest, Y/N making flower crows for all the female killers at the camp site, and little by little, she somehow managed to worm her way under everyone's skins.

Y/N was the survivor with the highest survivability percentage, and maybe the Entity sometimes got pissed off, but at least she still got killed sometimes, so who cares? Well, that was soon to change as soon as a new Killer was added to this sick game - Pyramid Head, the terror of Silent Hill, as Cheryl, the new Survivor, called him - or The Executioner, as he was known now. He was ruthless, merciless, grotesque - He had his own criteria of killing, his own moral compass, ethics, conscience and understanding of the concept of life and death. Nothing that could compare to the visions of humans, clearly - Everything was gravitating around Divine Retribution and Justice, but the from the outside, he was nothing but a killing machine.

He would kill everyone and anyone that crosses his path, without fail.

Y/N felt like her fortune ended completely the second she found herself in the new, overly cramped map, with Pyramid Head as the killer - She couldn't help but run around like a spazzic meerkat, trying to find and fix as many generators as possible, without having to get face to face with the walking hazard...

Only to run past a stuck Pyramid Head.

Slowly backtracing her steps, she saw the mountain of a man with his metal pyramid stuck in the frames a low window which he tried to walk over. He was trashing like a raged bull trying to attack a matador, but it was clear he was getting nowhere with this.

"H-Hey, u-uhm...Need some help?" she asked in a soft, careful voice, almost like a meek cat trying to test the waters, but in return, he started groaning even louder from the wrath he wanted to unleash upon the whole world. "Okay, uhm...I think I saw a can of vaseline in one of the chests around. I'll go fetch it and I'll come back for you. Don't move." she said, only to then realise how horrible that sounded, considering the situation, and it only seemed to anger the killer. "...I'm sorry, ignore me, I'm an idiot." she slapped herself pretty harshly before bolting out of there trying to find the chest.

However, Y/N cursed herself for not having perfectly memorised the whole map by heart already, since she found the vaseline can after the 3rd chest, and then, it took quite a while to find the bloody window that got the killer stuck - And by the time she got there, she was dead tired. "Okay, I'm here, I found the vaseline! Let's try to get you out of here." Y/N muttered as she put her feet on the low window pane to get to his level. "If it's not too much trouble, could you please hold onto me? I can't balance myself with both hands occupied, and I'd rather not fall." she explained as she opened the vaseline can, only to shiver as she felt two big, strong hands getting a firm grip on her hips. It was almost...Endearing, were she not too busy trying to get the killer unstuck. She kept massaging the metal edge, trying to push and pull, also praying to whatever deity that existed in her human world that she had her tetanus shot done on time - Until finally, she was able to get hear a loud screech, like a pop, and the killer got unstuck, and in the process, he stumbled backwards, while Y/N fell down on her butt.

"Ouchie..." she muttered, rubbing her back and sides to take away the pain surging through her body. "Are you okay?" she asked, almost intuitively, without realising it at first, until she heart a low grunt that brought her back to reality. "O-Oh...! You have glass shards stuck in your side! And you're bleeding too! Hold up, let me help." she hurried to his side, while the killer merely stiffened, feeling her delicate, slender fingers tracing his body, while he heaved and slouched his shoulders from the repressed wrath. "It may sting a bit, and I'm really sorry, but I promise it will be better soon." her voice was so motherly and warm, which also resonated in her actions, as she gingerly took a water bottle and imbued some tissues with it, to wipe away the blood smearing down his skin as she extracted the glass shards, and then..."This is grandma's marigold ointment. It's really good, and it smells nice." she explained as she carefully smeared a thick layer of the yellow ointment on the biggest wounds, while the little ones were covered by smiley-flower patterned plasters. They were cute, and colourful, and they never failed to make her smile. "Okay, there we go, all better! I hope you'll feel better very soon!" her voice got a tiny bit more cheerful and upbeat.

It made the Killer think about a trillion things, as he stepped in front of her, towering over her like the Empire states building next to a smiling pomeranian. What was with this girl? Why did she help a killer? And why did he feel so...Warm inside? He could sense a foreign kind of luminosity, a naivite and innocence that he only witnessed in children and animals. This woman in front of him was untainted by the darkness and evil of the world.

It didn't matter how many hardships she's been through, or how much sadness she had to endure - Her soul remained as pure as any snowdrop, as the first snow of winter, as the fleece of a baby lamb who let out its first 'meeeeh' to its mamma sheep.

He couldn't allow this human to be maimed in any way - Not by the world, not by the Entity, and certainly not by him. - Screw the Entity, Pyramind Head kills by his own rules, and now, he was blessed to be faced with a human who bore no real hatred for her peers, or for the world, despite the horrible situation she was thrown into.

He didn't understand, obviously, especially as he remembered the myriad of abominations that lurked through Silent Hill, all of them created by the torment of humans - The very torment that distorted their own reality, which resulted in him needing to solve the purpose as The Executioner - Eradicating the world of all evil.

"Th-This sword is so heavy...H-How can you carry this around like that...?! Your muscles must be so strained and sore...Y-You really need a massage, I'm sure." she stuttered as she tried to lift the much taller and heavier sword from the ground, only for the brute to simply bend and pick it up with extreme ease, putting the girl to shame with her complete lack of strength. "Hehe...You're really strong. I'm embarrassed now." she chuckled softly, scratching the back of her neck.

Before she could leave or do anything else, Pyramid Head picked her up by the throat, careful not to hurt her or restrict her air intake - I mean, how else was he supposed to carry her so he wouldn't hurt her with his metal head or sword? - and it was pretty clear she didn't feel any malevolence from him, as she clinged on his forearm, trying to keep herself up, only to be dumped on top of the hatch, as the killer pointed towards it, so she would leave.

"O-Oh...! Thank you so much! You're really kind! I really appreciate this...I-I know it probably doesn't matter much to you, since you'll be doing this over and over again with all the survivors...But I really appreciate you for your kind gesture, and I appreciate you for being so nice with me. Thank you. Take care!" her dazzling smile lit the whole place up, but he couldn't talk, nor could he tell her how he should be the one thanking her for showing him that, despite the hundreds and thousands of years he had to roam the 'Earth' and execute the injust, miracles still existed.

As soon as she reached the survivor's camp, everyone cheered for her, asking how in the world could she have escaped the wrath of the butcher. "Oh, but he wasn't that bad. In fact, he's much more humane than I anticipated! I think he has a beautiful, blooming heart!" okay, she's lost it - the other survivors thought - but even so, she's always been a bit...Out of it, so who cares?

It took quite a while for the other three survivors to reach the camp, all bloody, in fact, like the new killer, who dragged himself with the same menace to the Killers' camp. "How the hell did you manage to survive?!" they yelled at her in utter shock, seeing that she got out of there unscratched. "Oh, you see...I found the hatch." she shrugged simply, not wanting to give away that the person who massacred those three was a soft one and he basically threw her down the hatch to her safety.

As she took a twig to roast a marshmallows, she noticed how Pyramid Head was standing much farther away from the rest of the killers - She knew that silent killers were bound to stay away from the more obnoxious one, remembering how Michael Myers almost killed Ghostface and The Legion at least a dozen times - But this time...He seemed kinda...Lonely? So Y/N took the matters into her own hands, roasted another marshmallow in another twig, and when it was done, she went to the killer's camp, calling out the lonely one's name - She has no idea why, but he actually followed her, pushing her further deep into the forest, until he was sure nobody was going to hear, see or interrupt them...

"Hey. You seemed pretty lonely out there...I thought you could use a friend. Thank you again for what you did at the trial...Here, this is a marshmallow. I don't think you've had many before...Cheryl told me of that horrible place you had to live in...So I hope this will make your day a bit better!" Y/N extended one of her hands towards him, so he could take the marshmallow - And a long, black tongue erupted from underneath the pyramid, snatching away the fluffy marshmallow and gulping it in one go.

What the hell was he turning into?

A towering man built of pure muscle, wrath and divine justice, with a pyramid representing the evil of humanity burdening his body, and a sword taller and heavier than the average human being constantly dragged in one of his hand...He now was a slave to a cute, innocent girl who was putting flower plasters on his minuscule wounds that would heal in a heartbeat regardless - He saved this girl who was now offering his these soft, squishy things that tasted overly sugarly, just like her upbeat and cheerful personality - If he could eat her, he was sure she would taste even sweeter than this - A sickish kind of sweet, that is.

She was indeed a beautiful angel in this tragic hell. But he didn't wait to snatch the second marshmallow either.

"Ah...! You liked it, didn't you? Well...Next time, I promise I'll give you more!" she grinned at him the same way a princess would to her chivalrous knight who saved her. The since he couldn't talk, silence took over them - It wasn't an uncomfortable one, per se, but it made it feel as if the conversation was over. "W-Well...I'll guess I'll see you around! Take care and I hope to see you again soon!" she waved cutely, trying to turn around back to her camp, only to feel a rough hand on her shoulder, turning her around and urging her to stop and wait for him and he went deep into the forest, leaving her alone and undefended by the potential malevolent forces of the forest.

When he returned, however, he stepped right in front of her, creating the perfect shade as he towered over her - Then he kneeled in front of her, so he would reach her eye sight, then he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and put a beautiful pink flower - As pink as the blush that started creeping on her face - He wanted to see her luminous face better, to highlight her dazzling smile and her glimmering eyes as the warm, silver light of the mother moon caressed her face.

Y/N felt her heart picking up the pace - It was beating so much faster than ever before - But this time, it wasn't out of fear or anything negative...It was something good. Something she never felt in her life, especially with her human acquaintances from back home. None was as chivalrous and gentle with her as this butcher of tormented souls - The bringer of justice, the merciless Executioner who was supposed to end the life of every living being that would cross his path.

It was insane how every Yin finds its Yang, even if that comes in the form of a little lamb of a small, frail girl, and a huge abomination of a brute man who knows nothing but death, bloodshed and carnage. It was truly crazy how opposites attract, and here she was, holding the killers large hands and gingerly putting them on her face, leaning into his touch - She felt safer now than ever in her life - Now, in the arms of an ancient killer.

An Angel and A Demon brought together in a perfect union.

As she leaned down, she touched the metal of the pyramid where she anticipated his forehead would be with her own forehead, and closing her eyes, she finally felt herself calming down. There was no need for words, actions spoke louder than anything, and she appreciated it...She appreciated him.

"Thank you." she whispered to him, knowing that yes, even though nobody else would hear it anyway, it was much more intimate than anything she ever experienced.

She was hooked.

Hope you liked my completely shameless pun, I couldn't stop it, especially after the pain I went through trying to write this...3 freaking times.

Yay.

[hangovercurse]

Crash Into Me

You’d been MGK’s assistant for years, but you never thought you had a chance at anything more with him until one stoplight changes everything.

Request: “ok im so sorry if this is 2 specific but ive had this idea for ages abt pining!colson x an insecure/clueless!reader who has been his assistant forever. she gets into a car accident and calls him hours later to tell him that a temp will be taking her place for a few weeks (bc of injuries) and he's like ?? why?? she explains nonchalantly, then kells kinda freaks out and shows up at the hospital all worried”

Colson Baker X Reader

Warnings: Cursing, car accident (descriptive)

A/N: This was cute 😊

Word Count: 3185

“Alright Kells, I’m out for the night. I’ll email those tracks to the board when I get home and I’ll let you know if I get any updates for tomorrow’s press.” You told the blond man who was sitting on the couch as you put your laptop into your bag. You tried not to yawn as you heaved it over your shoulder, “anything else?”

You glanced at the kitchen clock that read 2 am and let out a small sigh. You were used to late nights given your job as assistant to a rockstar, but most nights you were able to leave before 8 pm. Tonight you and Colson had gotten really invested in the tracks you were editing and lost track of time.

“Y/N,” he turned to look at you with puppy dog eyes. He wanted something that you really weren’t gonna want to give him. “Could you come over early tomorrow to help me pick out what to wear for the Vanity Fair interview?”

You chuckled, “you know they have their own wardrobe department?”

He sighed, “yeah but you know me so much better than all those stylists. I trust your opinion more.”

You rolled your eyes as he tilted his head, begging you. “Fine, but I’m buying us coffee with your credit card.”

He broke out into a smile, “thank you, love you!” He called as you walked towards his front door.

“Whatever, I’ll see you tomorrow.” You told him, taking your car keys into your hands, and stepping out into the LA night. There was a soft breeze that shook the trees slightly, making you smile. It felt nice outside for the first time in a while.

Because of this, you decided to drive home with your windows rolled down, letting the wind flow through your hair. The roads were pretty barren by LA standards, so traffic was pretty much non-existent. You were sitting at a red light, your fingers tapping against your steering wheel as one of Colson’s songs played through your speakers softly.

You reached to turn up the volume as the light turned green. You pressed the gas, your car moving forward into the intersection. Suddenly you heard a loud squeal of brakes, looking over to your passenger window to the sight of two headlights barreling towards you. You tried to speed up to get out of the way, but it was too late.

The truck rammed straight into the side of your small car, pushing your vehicle over into the car next to you. You put your left arm up to shield you from any flying debris, but it was futile. The infrastructure of your car fell apart at the force, the dashboard collapsing onto your right leg. Luckily, your left leg managed to avoid the destruction.

You could barely feel the force of the whiplash due to the pain in your abdomen at the deployment of the airbag. Glass from the car next to you fell into your car through your open window, cutting into your skin.

And then all of a sudden, everything stopped. The truck that had hit you had stopped moving, allowing you to fully assess the damage. Your car was totaled for sure, and your leg was definitely crushed. You cried out in pain, breathing heavy and trying to see straight. You could hear the sound of sirens in the distance, giving you some sense of relief.

When the paramedics got to the scene, you were the last passenger to be taken out of the crash due to your car being in the center. A firefighter had to break the glass of your windshield, which was already cracked, in order to pull you out. When you told him your leg was stuck under the dashboard, he sent a team of men to lift it from your foot and another to pull you out of the wreckage.

They were all amazed you were still conscious but got very worried when you told them you couldn’t feel the pain in your leg. You rode in an ambulance to the hospital, the EMTs helping pick the glass from your skin and assessing your injuries. You made jokes with them to calm yourself down, something that you did with Colson and Rook whenever they got into accidents while you were out with them.

You thought about giving them Colson’s name when they asked about your emergency contact but decided against it. You didn’t want to worry him until absolutely necessary. You figured you’d see what the doctor had to say and if you wouldn’t be able to come back to work, then you would tell him.

Unfortunately, that’s exactly what the doctor said. In fact, you wouldn’t be able to leave the hospital for at least a week due to your shattered leg, bruised abdomen, and concussion.

The leg would require at least 2 if not more surgeries to repair and you would be on close watch for development of a more serious brain injury. After that you most likely wouldn’t be able to be back on your feet for another 8 to 12 weeks, which was kind of a requirement for your job.

It was almost 5am, so you weren’t necessarily thinking straight when you called Colson from your cracked phone. He answered, his voice conveying how tired he was. “Y/N? Everything okay?”

“Hey Kells, I’m not gonna be able to come in early tomorrow, or at all. I’m gonna start looking for a temporary replacement tomorrow if I’m feeling up to it. Oh! And I couldn’t send those tracks to the board, sorry.” You told him, only half registering the words you were saying.

The confusion was evident in his voice, “what? Why do you need to find a replacement?”

You realized you had forgotten to tell him what happened. “Oh, yeah! It’s kind of funny.” You started, chuckling but then realizing that laughing made your stomach hurt even more. “And by funny, I mean not funny at all. I got into a car accident. Some dude ran into my car in an intersection and now I’m in the hospital.”  

“Which hospital?” Colson asked, suddenly much more awake.

“Hollywood Presbyterian.” You told him, “why?”

He sounded like he was rushing around, which he was. “I’m coming to see you.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, “why? I’m fine, you don’t need to do that. You have a big interview tomorrow, you should sleep.”

Colson sighed, “fuck the interview, I’ll be there in a few.”

“Colson you don’t-“ You started, but he hung up before you could tell him not to come.

Why was he rushing to see you in the hospital? Sure, you were friends, but he had much more important things to worry about right now. And besides, you were more casual work friends. He wouldn’t even know you existed if you didn’t work for him. Sure, you had a huge crush on him, but he was your boss, you were just someone he asked to do things he didn’t want to do.

 20 minutes later Colson ran into the hospital room, stopping when he saw you in the bed. Your face was red from chemical burn and a few cuts of glass. Your right leg was propped up with basic bandaging around it. His heart broke at the thought of how much pain you had probably been in.

“How are you feeling?” He asked softly, moving to sit in the chair on your left side.

You shrugged, “I’ve been better.”

“Why didn’t you call me sooner?” He asked, eyes full of pity.

“I didn’t want to bother you unless it was serious. Figured I’d find out if I would have to miss work before telling you.” You said, squeezing your eyes shut as a headache washed over you.

Colson’s mouth gaped open, “you didn’t want to bother me? You got in a car crash and you weren’t gonna call me unless you would have to miss work?”

You shrugged again, “yeah. If my laptop wasn’t completely crushed in the accident I would’ve just found and sent a temp in tomorrow, but obviously that’s impossible.”

“Y/N you’re kidding me, right?” He asked, exasperated. You furrowed your eyebrows in response, causing a sigh to fall from his lips. “Y/N I don’t give a shit about a temp; I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Oh, I’m fine. A little shaken and these headaches are killer, but they gave me a lot of pain medication so, I’m fine.” You smiled at him, your thoughts racing as you tried to figure out why he cared so much about how you were feeling.

He nodded, hand reaching out and landing on top of yours gently. “So, do they have to do surgery? What all did the doctors say?” He asked, worry in his eyes.

You nodded, “yeah, at least 2 surgeries. One around 11 am and then depending on how that one goes they’ll schedule the next. And they have to watch me to make sure my concussion doesn’t get worse.”

He pulled out his phone, typing away. “What are you doing?” You asked, suddenly feeling very tired.

“I just emailed the PR liaison for Vanity Fair and told them I wouldn’t be able to make it to the interview.” He responded.

“Why did you do that?” You asked through a yawn.

He looked at you like the answer was the most obvious thing in the world, “because I have to be with you right now.”

You were very confused as to why he thought he had to be here. “Colson, I’ll be fine. You should go to the interview. You don’t have to stay here.”

“I do have to be here. I want to be here.” He said, sternly.

“Why?” You asked, trying to keep your eyes open.

“Because I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“I’ll just call you after the surgery, it’s no big deal.” You responded lazily.

He shook his head, “I want to stay here with you, Y/N. Okay? I care about you.”

You were too tired to process what he was saying at this point, so you just let out a hum. “I need to make sure you’re okay. I need to see you being okay. When you called me, I swear I was gonna have a heart attack if I didn’t see you.” He continued.

You were barely awake at this point, letting out a simple, “I’m okay” before slipping into unconsciousness.

 Suddenly you were back in your car, “Bloody Valentine” playing from your speakers. The sky was dark green, almost like a painting. In front of you, the red light turned green. Like clockwork, you pressed the gas, moving into the intersection. Suddenly, the lights disappeared, and you heard the familiar chilling sound of breaks squealing. You looked over and saw those headlights coming towards you, getting closer and closer, brighter, and brighter.

You screamed at the sight, the familiar paralyzing fear coursing through your body again. “Y/N!” Your name played through the radio. That’s not in the song, you thought. “Y/N!” Colson’s voice rang out again before the truck made contact with your car.

You woke up in a cold sweat to Colson standing over you, hands shaking your shoulders lightly. “Y/N.” He said, relieved when your eyes began to open.

Your entire body was shaking like a poodle and your arms subconsciously reached for Colson, hanging onto his shirt for dear life. “It was just a dream.” He whispered as your eyes darted around the room. “You’re okay.” He reassured you.

“I’m sorry.” You muttered, hands leaving the fabric and moving to cover up your face. “I’m sorry.”

Colson sat on the bed next to you, legs hanging off the side as he stroked your face gently. “It’s okay, baby.” He turned to the nurse who opened the door, a worried expression on her face. He shook his head at her, “sorry, she just had a nightmare. She’s okay.” The nurse nodded but stayed in the room anyways, checking your vitals.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled again, the words seeming to be the only thing you could say.

Colson shook his head, “stop saying that, it’s okay.” You pouted at him, trying to scoot over so he would lay down next to you, but it was way too painful. “What are you doin?” He asked, a smile on his face.

You sighed, “wanted you to sit next to me but I can’t move because of this stupid leg.” You motioned to the leg in question.

Colson chuckled, “I can sit next to you in the chair.”

“That didn’t work last time.” You whined.

He looked at you with an expression that was both amused and confused. You were definitely still high on pain medication. “What didn’t work.”

“It didn’t stop the nightmare.” You frowned, hand reaching for his. He chuckled, standing up fully and looking at the nurse.

She flashed him an amused smile, “If you want, we can try to move her. I don’t know how much we can do without hurting her ribs, though.”

Colson nodded with a gracious smile, “hear that? We can’t move you because of your ribs.”

You glared at him, “I may be very high right now, but I’m not that high.” You said, making him giggle. “She said you could try.”

Colson let out an exasperated sigh, one arm going under your back and the other under your left leg. “Is this what it’s like taking care of me all the time?” He asked and you nodded your head firmly.

“Yep. Except I am much smaller than you, so you have less work to do with me.” You smiled as he lifted you off the bed, which quickly turned into a grimace. “Ow!” You yelped and Colson quickly set you down, slightly closer to the right side of the bed.

“Fuck, sorry princess. Are you okay?” He asked, voice soft.

You nodded, sucking in your bottom lip to block the whimpers of pain that threatened to escape your mouth. “You probably don’t remember, but one time you were so crossed that you called me to pick you up from a party. But you couldn’t make it out of the car, so I had to carry you into your house. And then you demanded to sleep in your own room, so you made me drag you up the stairs instead of passing out on the couch like normal.”

Colson let out a breathy chuckle, glad you weren’t hurt too much. He carefully sat onto the cot next to you, pulling up his right leg to sit on the bed. His arm wrapped around your shoulders and pulled you into him slightly. You shifted so that you were comfortable, left hand finding his own left hand and holding it. He brought his left leg up onto the bed so he was fully laying with you.

Your head rest on his chest, a soft smile on your face as his thumb rubbed circles on your hand. The nurse left, satisfied that you wouldn’t hurt yourself further. Colson pressed a small kiss to the top of your head, causing your eyebrows to furrow.

“What time is it?” You asked him, to which he responded by pulling out his phone and showing you the lock screen. 8:47am. You nodded, a frown on your face, “did you get any sleep?” You asked him softly.

“I’m fine, I was asleep for a few hours before you called me.”

You sighed, feeling guilty. “You should go home and get some sleep.”

You felt him shake his head from behind you, “I’m staying right here.”

Despite wanting to force him to go home, you couldn’t help the happiness you felt at his stubbornness to stay with you. “You know you don’t need to be here. I won’t be offended if you leave.”

He chuckled, “stop trying to get me to leave. I’m here. On my own accord, okay? I’m gonna take care of you.”

You paused, thinking about the word floating around your head. “Why?” you whispered.

Colson’s face scrunched in confusion, “what do you mean “why”? Because you’re my friend and I care about you.”

“I mean, yeah. But I’m not like a “drop everything” kind of friend, I’m just your assistant.” You muttered.

Colson made an “are-you-serious?” face and let out a snort. “Seriously? You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You mean the world to me, of course I’d drop everything for you.”

You couldn’t think of a response, his words making your heart race. “oh.” Was the best you could come up with.

“Y/N, seriously, you think way too low of yourself. You’re amazing.” He said, nose burying into your hair.

You shrugged, “you only say that because I take care of you when you’re drunk and help you do all the things you don’t want to do.”

Colson’s expression softened, a frown forming on his face. “I’m saying that because I think the world of you. You’re the kindest, funniest, coolest person I know. I meant it, when you told me you were in the hospital, my heart almost stopped. I felt sick to my stomach just thinking about you being hurt.” He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, “I wish you could see how much you mean to me.” He mumbled.

You were quiet for a little while, processing what he had said. “You’re only saying that because I’m in the hospital.” You muttered, a frown on your face. You were trying to keep your hopes low, knowing once you were out of here, he would regret saying any of this.

“Y/N, are you being serious right now? I’m saying this because I’ve been fucking in love with you for the past year and a half.” He said and you could feel your breath catch in your throat. “I can’t believe you don’t see it.”

You bit your lip, turning to look up to him. “I just- I didn’t want- you wouldn’t.” You stumbled over your words, taking a deep breath, and starting again. “I didn’t want to read too much into it or get my hopes up. I figured you’d never be into someone like me so I just told myself you were being nice. I thought you only treated me well because I worked for you.” You mumbled.

He frowned, holding you tighter to him, “I am so, so into you. You are the only woman in my life who has ever stuck by me through my worst shit. Like even when I was a total jackass you stayed with me. How could I not fall in love with you?”

You bit your lip, tears threatening to spill at his sweet sentiment. You’d never had anyone say something that kind about you. You’d always assumed people only kept you around because you did stuff for them, but here was the man you were in love with telling you that he cared about you for you.

“I love you too.” You whispered, leaning your head further into his chest.

[miraeluc]

heya! this is just a standard request for sugawara helping his partner get a good night's sleep (please may you use he/they pronouns for the reader?) thank you! <3

hey!! i was sorting through my requests and i wasn't planning on publishing anything anymore today cause it's late and i gotta wake up in a few hours, but this was just too cute to pass up!! i hope u like it :)

also little side note: im struggling with the update so hard D:

sugawara helping you sleep

prompt: "It's chamomile tea. It helps with sleep."

pairing: sugawara koushi x reader (reader uses he/they pronouns, although it isn't mentioned too often!)

word count: 898

warnings: none, pure fluff and love, suga calls reader "love" like, once, but I don't think that's gender specific??

NOTE: I actually wasn't quite sure what exactly this request meant - so I wrote what I thought was well-enough. If this isn't what you meant, feel free to send in another ask!

you hadn't seen sugawara in a few days now

he usually had morning practice and you had afternoon classes, which meant your schedules clashed, making it near impossible for the two of you to see each other often

but tomorrow was saturday, which meant the both of you were free, which meant suga was spending the night at your place

he had actually been invited to a party by tooru oikawa, but he only laughed and responded with:

"sorry, i'm spending the night at y/n's, i haven't seen them in a while and i'm pretty sure they're not really in the mood to spend his free night with a bunch of sweaty, drunk, teenagers"

so yeah, here you were, 9pm, sitting on your couch with sugawara, his arm draped loosely around your shoulder as the both of you finally got to catching up

it was honestly mostly you doing the talking, suga simply listening to you with a light smile and adoration in his eyes

"oh god. i started rambling, didn't i?"

he only laughed and hugged you to his chest

"it's cute."

soon after that the food you had ordered 40 minutes prior finally arrived, the two of you settling in a comfortable silence as you ate, the only sound being the movie playing on the tv, to which you only half payed attention to

that was kind of how you spent your entire evening, cuddling on the couch and talking, occasionally taking a break, looking at the tv, to not miss the movie completely

at about 1am you decided it'd be a good time to go to bed, sugawara claiming he was very tired, when in fact he had seen you dozing off during the movie, and knowing you haven't been getting a lot of sleep because you were mainly focused on your studies and because of your constant sleep issues, he wanted you to get as much sleep as possible as-long as you had the possibility too

when you two got into bed, you immediately scooted closer to sugawara, his arms finding their place around you, a habit that became second nature.

his fingertips ran slightly along your back, goosebumps rising on your skin under the t-shirt you wore to sleep, melting into his touch, feeling the exhaustion of the week catch up to you by now

suga had obviously noticed this, letting himself indulge in the sight of your sleepy face squished against him, moving the hand that was not running up and down your back to move some stray strands of hair that fell into your eyes

you looked up at him, eyes only half-open, humming

"why are you looking at me like that?"

"no particular reason. i just like admiring my partner."

your face flushed a little at that, letting out a light laugh and shaking your head

"didn't you say you were tired?" you spoke again, stifling a yawn

he hummed, leaning to the bedside table to turn off the salt lamp that was stood there, laying back down comfortably

he was laid facing you, arms wrapped around you in a comfortable hug, the perfect amount of weight settled on you, which made you feel grounded

it didn't take long for you to fall asleep, sugawara laying there, enjoying the warmth of your body a bit more before also falling asleep

except, sadly, sleep didn't come that easily for you, so, eventhough you managed to fall asleep quickly, you also awoke again, just two hours later

you shifted, moving your eyes so you could look at the digital clock stood on the bedside table next to your salt lamp

3:24am

you let out a soft sigh, moving to get into a more comfortable position, not expecting your partner to wake up so easily

when suga realised what was going on, he spoke

"are you having trouble sleeping again?"

you looked at him, humming

"a little. but don't worry, i think i'll be able to fall asleep again soon"

sugawara sighed and soon the warmth of his body abandoned yours, leaving you quite cold and longing for it back

"stay right here"

you did as you were told, curious to know what he was doing, yet too lazy to stand up and go see

luckily it didn't take him long to get back, two cups of tea in both hands, handing you one of them

"its chamomile tea. it helps with sleep. i brought some melatonin gummies too, please have some, they do wonders"

he spoke, slowly taking a sip as to not burn his tongue in case it was still too hot

"you didn't have to do this, you know?"

you said that, but your heart was warm with the adoration you felt for suga

"i know, but i wanted to" he sent you a cute smile, which you reciprocated

after you drank your tea you ate two of the melatonin gummies, dropping back down to lay down properly

suga then laid beside you, pulling you to him by your waist

"Now let's try and get some proper rest, love. If you can't fall asleep or wake up again, wake me up, okay?"

you just hummed, closing your eyes, at this point too tired to respond and too comfortable to move even an inch too speak

it's safe to say the both of you slept in the next day

a/n: not proof-read! im also going to sleep now, goodnight!

requests: open (10th january, 2022)

emergency requets: closed

read rules before requesting.

[keilemlucent]

lavender latte: vi

(T (for now!))

hawks | takami keigo x reader

ao3

chapter 1   ||   chapter 2  ||   chapter 3   ||  chapter 4   ||   chapter 5   ||  chapter 7  ||

masterlist

word count: 6.8k

finally. god.  

warnings: none really! reader’s foot booted, but that’s about it.

---

well. here we are. thank u to everyone for reading this sweet, sweet story. we’re not through it yet, but i’m happy to offer a meal with this chapter. enjoy lovies. beta’ed by the lovely love @keiqos​. 

||||||||||||||||

You had several problems after returning to your apartment from the hospital. One of your coworkers was nice enough to drive you and your things back, but quickly the niceties stopped and your vague hell began.

Exclusively being on crutches sucked. Navigating your apartment and trying to live somewhat normally was a massive pain. Even just showering was a task that sapped most of your energy. Standing one-legged and balancing made your body ache with a deep soreness, especially the first few days you returned.

This was not even to mention the unpleasant dreams you were having.

‘Unpleasant’ & ‘dreams’ were a nice way of putting it.

You could recall that during your first night in the hospital, one of your doctors told you of the possibility of experiencing a few post-traumatic symptoms. Considering how out of it you were at the time, it was unsurprising how you brushed it off.

The reality was much harder to ignore.

...

Cars revving.

Shouting.

Shattering—

 Your eyes flashed open, chest heaving and brow covered in a fine sheen of sweat. 

Fuck that.

It was the same dream, an obvious recreation of the stimuli of the event. Though it was scattered in your memory, the dreams made it horribly vivid and vibrant despite lacking detail. The sounds and smells of that day clung to you as you shook your head, forcing yourself into wakefulness. 

Your comforter was thrown from your body, and you shivered as cold air rushed over you. As jarred as you were, you still swung your legs off the bed, readjusting your boot and your aching leg, half-heartedly glaring at your crutches.

Your apartment wasn’t terribly set up to get around with your limited mobility, but your difficulty functioning didn’t help your overall mental state. Everything was just harder with the boot on, and you did your best to work with it. 

Being locked up in your apartment added to the hellishness of it. You were so used to the stimuli and social environment of the teashop, it felt like a cold water shock when you were confined to your home entirely alone except for your cats.   

You could, of course, try and venture out into the world. But, it was still winter and the ice-covered sidewalks didn’t seem like the best place to try and crutch around. 

Within the first day or two, you resigned yourself to your three-week fate of being holed up. 

You had a laundry list of things you could do. Shows and movies to watch, places in your house to clean, your cats to pet, but—

You still had far too much time on your hands.

A lot of your newfound time in the first few days was spent on your back, leg propped up, and draped in ice bags, musing over Hawks.

Hawks.

Holy fuck.

You couldn’t avoid it, couldn’t stop it. Just thinking about him made every part of you swirl and thrum like you were listening to some sort of contently-chorded song and you were more than happy to play it on repeat until your ears bled. Maybe that feeling towards Hawks had always been there (it had), but now you accepted it and stopped holding yourself back as much.

You never thought the idea of someone squeezing your shoulder would send you into literal fits of giggles and butterflies, but boy, did it. Not to mention all of the careful touches and gentle words you two had shared in the aftermath of the attack, though the memories were hazy. What you did remember and cherish was the warmth of him, quirk activated or not. Each time you recalled it, your gut fluttered and your hands twitched.

Your ceiling was the most interesting place to look in your apartment. The plain texture was the perfect canvas to allow your memories of the sweet interactions the two of you had shared to play like comforting reruns. The commercial breaks of these daydreams were the texts exchanged between you and Hawks. 

 Keigo couldn’t stop thinking about you either.

It wasn’t as distracting as it once was, as he had been more liberal with letting himself text you. The high number of messages between the two of you was maybe ridiculous, but he was a fast texter and you seemed to have plenty of jokes and banter for him to share in.

As good as the texting was, it was also nice to check-in on you and your recovery. You seemed more annoyed than anything else, but Keigo wasn’t so much of an idiot as to think you weren’t in any pain or struggling at all. Though you didn’t explicitly tell him or show him, he was familiar with the pains of healing and could infer some things about your state. 

Keigo tried to brighten your day as he could. ‘Hawks’ still had plenty of hero work to do, especially with the information extracted from the recently detained syndicate members. Despite this, he took as much time as he could to stop and send you little snippets and messages which hopefully would help you smile a little.

 It did, of course. Just talking to Hawks did.

You had moments of awareness a few times a day where you had to remind yourself that, yes, (Y/N), you were just casual friends and deeply enamored with the number two hero and that sentiment was at least partially returned. 

You had a lot of time to wonder to what extent the feelings were returned. They obviously weren’t entirely one-sided, right? 

It was completely possible that they were, but you did your best to shake off the thought.

It was more likely that notorious bachelor and flirt, pro hero Hawks, just wanted a fuck with some feelings. To fuck with some feelings, right? 

Though, he did say that he cares about you.

But, you definitely can care about someone you only want to fuck.

You wished you had some sort of definitive answer. The murkiness of it all just made the sweetness of the past and the texts of the present seem a bit sour. 

Confessing to Hawks was daunting and terrifying. Not to mention, it felt a bit juvenile, all of it. People weren’t supposed to get melty crushes like this past high school, right? Especially not ones this deep on someone who couldn’t possibly feel the same as you, right?

 During one of these moments of uncomfortable clarity, your phone beeped as you rested on the couch. Despite not even seeing the message, you knew it would be Hawks.

You grabbed your phone, clicking open the newest message. 

 [birdboy]: hey hey angel

[birdboy]: look at this fucker i found

 The image attached was a photo of Hawks standing next to one of his own billboards, advertising some sort of sports drink. The photo had obviously been taken with a timer, the angle of the photo tilted as Hawks and the billboard were quite small in the frame. It added to the charm of the photo, the way Hawks was holding a feather blade to the throat of his own advert. You could even tell through the pixels he was wearing a wide smile as he did so, wings spread behind him

You snorted.

You and Hawks are just friends, you reminded yourself. 

 [you]: looks like a punk bitch 2 me dude

[you]: kinda uncanny resemblance tho

[birdboy]: i agree

[birdboy]: he’s hot tho

 You rolled your eyes, still smiling as you readjusted on the couch. You weren’t disagreeing, not at all. 

 [you]: not wrong

[you]: still, punk bitch

[birdboy]: :^(

[birdboy]: feelings = hurt

[birdboy]: please tell me the photo is funny 

[birdboy]: it took like five tries

[you]: very funny, im gonna save it and sell when im short on cash

[birdboy]: my publicist will blacklist u

[you]: i’d like to see them try

[birdboy]: is that a challenge angel????

[you]: a promise

 There was a break in the messages, though Hawks appeared to be typing.

 [birdboy]: unrelated but

[birdboy]: how are you doing?

 You paused, taking stock of your disheveled, sleepy self. You were only a few days out of the hospital and you definitely could’ve been worse off.

 [you]: im okay!!!

[you]: sore and tired honestly

[birdboy]: :^(

[birdboy]: i'm glad to hear its not worse at least

[birdboy]: ill send u lots more embarrassing photos 

[birdboy]: a million angel

[you]: my hero <3

 It all was surreal and mentally impossible to avoid.

You really, really liked Hawks and had for a long while.

             ...

 Keigo spent most of the rest of the day busy with patrols and work for the Commission, much to his chagrin. He hardly got a chance to text you. It reminded him of his reality as a pro, his fast-paced nature and how he truly couldn’t slow down, not at that point anyway. He had a brand and habitual way of being that was standard. Even for you, he wasn’t sure if he could slow down, even if he wanted to or needed to.

The idea scared him, pieces of his reality.

But, at the same time, Keigo hadn’t ever felt like this before. The weird, but incredibly alluring and comfortable heat in his chest made him feel like he’d do anything for you. Fuck, he’d fly to the stars and move them if he could, if that’s what it took. 

Maybe he even wanted to. 

Keigo couldn’t become a different person, for anyone, that’s not how things worked. But if getting closer to you meant... adjusting, he could do that. Easily. He was adaptable as all hell and he’d be glad to use it for something that made him feel good instead of hollow.

Keigo busily flew the day away. As the afternoon turned to night, the sky going pink and purple with dusk, he settled on top of a taller office building. It looked down on a street market, its smells and sounds wafting up to him on his perch.

It gave him an idea.

A good one.

 You were inspecting your fridge with a grimace. Balancing on your crutches and being counter-weighed by the boot on your foot made your angry stance a whole lot less intimidating, but it was the sentiment that counted.

Several days post-hospital had done a number on your food supply. The fridge was empty except for a few nearly expired items and condiments. The dry shelves weren’t looking much better.

The shrill sound of your ringtone from the couch made your jump, nearly falling. You teetered back over to it, eye-widening at the caller ID. 

 [birdboy] calling...

 Hawks had never called you before.

You quickly picked up the call, “...Hello?”

“Hey, angel!” Hawks was chipper on the other line. “What’re you up to?”

“Currently?” You hummed, turning forlornly to your kitchen. “Thinking about how I either need to order groceries or order dinner before committing to my couch for the rest of the night. Why? You don’t usually call.”

“I don’t,” Hawks’s smile was apparent in his voice, even through the receiver. “But, I had an idea.”

“Shoot.”

“I might just be near a super good takeout spot. How hard would it be for me to convince you to let me drop some food by your place? My treat.”

You didn’t reply for a second.

Stunned.

“Are you sure?”

“More than, dove. I’m off the rest of the night, anyways.”

Oh.

That gave you an idea—

An idea that would surely push the envelope of your feelings.

Let it.

“Okay, I’m in. One condition.” You bit your lip, willing your stomach to seize fluttering.

“You name it. This place is really good and—”

“I have been going a little stir crazy, and,” You cut him off, squeezing your eyes shut in anticipation, “how hard would it be to convince you to come over and stay awhile?”

Hawks was silent.

Your stomach dropped.

“Wait, I-I mean—” You stuttered, trying to gather yourself, but this time Hawks cut you off.

“Like, to hang out?” Hawks sounded shocked on the other line. 

“Yes.” 

You kept your breathing even and prayed it didn’t read over the call. 

“God, dove. I’d love to. I can be over in like ten—”

“Wait,” You fisted the fabric of your sweats. “Can I have a little more time? For myself and my apartment.”

Hawks chuckled on the other end of the line, “Sure, angel. Thirty sound better?”

You let out a sigh of relief, falling on to the back of your couch, “Sounds perfect.”

 Keigo decided to tease a bit, his heart pounding in his chest almost painfully. He knew from day one that you were bold, but this was a treat. He had to spare back, just a little.

“Though, dove, I’m sure you look more than perfect yourself. You always do.” He didn’t wait for your response, either out of fear of what you’d say or being a bit smug, he wasn’t sure.

Keigo hung up the call, burying his face in his gloves to try and stifle the blush on his cheeks, though it hardly helped. 

It didn’t have to.

 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

 Thirty minutes later and you were mostly sorted.

You managed to throw yourself into the shower, tossing on something half-way decent, but still comfortable. Had to keep it casual. 

Crutching around your apartment, you picked up what clutter you could, mind spinning. Hawks coming over to your fucking apartment filled you with elated, and yet terrifying, anxiety. A few times while cleaning, you legitimately paused to muffle quiet screams in your hand at the prospect.

You felt like you were going to burst.

 Keigo did too, notably. 

He took the time to fly all the way back to his apartment, take the world’s fastest shower, and throw on some clothes other than his costume. Going back to get food, his hands shook as he handed the bills to the starry-eyed vendor who he’d just written an autograph for.

You’d sent a quick text just before he’d left with a description of your balcony, so neither of you would have to figure out how to let him in through the roof. 

As he flew to your place, Keigo felt like he was going to implode.

He didn’t ‘hang out’ with people. Nope, far too busy for anything like that. He was a compulsory workaholic, it was part of his mental brand of being (or, mental ‘branding’, maybe). The closest he got to casual time with folks was the preamble before a hookup or the time he had spent at the tea shop with you. Actually going to spend time with someone, casually, and it was you? It was all new and terrifying.

But, above all? Exciting.

The whole situation opened many doors, all of which Keigo pictured and picked apart as he neared your apartment. There were so many potential situations to appraise and plan for, he felt overwhelmed by it all. 

The opportunity to spend some... time with you outside of the tea shop was a necessity, right? Keigo’s original idea had been to drop off some food and banter for a while, but the idea of spending one of his precious nights off with you was so much better than he could’ve expected. 

Not to mention the warm bit of validation sparked by the fact that you asked him to come over, you wanted him around —

It felt nice.

So nice. 

 You paused, hearing telltale scuffing of someone on your balcony. 

Oh my god. 

He’s here.

Hawks is here.

You gulped, shaking your head.

Don’t you dare chicken out now. Commit, dammit. You’re just... hanging out. With your friend.

Yeah.

A knock on the glass pulled you to the door of your balcony, hobbling to slide it open on your crutches. 

Hawks was happy to push the door the rest of the way open, stepping inside with a bag of takeout slung on his arm.

Your mouth parched, seeing him once again in civilian clothing. Was it... normal to get turned on by the fact that he looked normal? 

As Hawks stepped into your humble apartment, wings tucked tightly to his back, you drank him in, hair ruffled with his clear visor placed on top of his head to push back the windswept front pieces. He wore a white sweater and black trousers complete with heavy black boots that were quickly untied and left by the door.

“You’re staring, you know,” Hawks interrupted your thoughts as you straightened up on your crutches.

Recover.

“Can’t prove that,” You tutted, crutching away from the door. “Also, welcome. Watch out for my cats, they might try to get a mouthful of your feathers.”

“Duly noted,” Hawks clicked his tongue, standing up and following you as you meander to the kitchen. 

 Keigo had to admit that your apartment was relatively... cute. He was used to his own, seldom-used digs. He had a big, uncomfortably nice penthouse with too many disused rooms and too much open space. Fixtures and furniture that were too expensive, probably, but it had been far easier to hire some big-name interior designer and not bother with dealing with it himself. Keigo had trouble keeping many ‘personal’ possessions, anyways. His training with the Commission made him almost revile the thought of keeping unnecessary, material objects, sans a few. 

Your home was the exact opposite. 

Maybe it was that he didn’t know how to have a personal touch that it made your cozy little apartment feel so full of them.

Little photos and artworks on walls or in frames caught Keigo’s eyes as he followed you to the kitchen. He took note of several blankets on the couch, catching sight of the plushie he’d given you at the hospital. Even the lighting of the apartment was personal, diffuse. With how easily overstimulated you became, it made sense that you’d keep your apartment so ambiently dim.

“So, first off, thank you for coming by and delivering dinner. I am eternally grateful,” You bowed dramatically, leaning to flail out a crutch at the motion. “Second, as payment, I’ll make you a drink. Maybe not with my quirk, but I have some of my old tea blends here.”

“It’s the least I could do,” Keigo shrugged, setting the takeout down on the counter while his ever-present grin nearly hurt his face from how relentless it was. “And tea? Show me what you’ve got. Or, should I trust you to pick one out for me?”

You hummed, clicking your tongue before moving across the kitchen to a different set of cabinets, “I think I’ve actually got a good one for you. It’s one of my favorites.”

“Lay on the details, angel,” Keigo hummed, leaning against the lip of the counter. 

 You did have the perfect blend in mind. It wasn’t too old, hardly stale. It would pair as well as a nice tea could with fried takeout, judging by the smells wafting from the bag on the counter.

“It’s one I made for a brunch we catered a few months back. It’s just a white tea raspberry blend, but it’s not delicate. It should stand up to any sort of food you’ve brought. Thank you, by the way.” 

Setting your crutches down, you started to push yourself up onto the counter without thinking much of it, booted-foot going limp off the edge. 

“Of course, anytime— woah, angel,” His voice choked as you wavered on the edge of the counter, off-balance. 

There was a short flap of wings and rush of air as you tried to rebalance, cursing the deadweight of your leg. 

If Hawks hadn’t been directly behind you, you probably would’ve eaten shit.

You turned yourself as far as you could, cheeks going hot.

Hawks’ face was just inches away from yours. That was even to mention the hands hovering around your waist, chest brushing up against your back. 

“S-sorry,” Did he just fucking stutter? “You looked like you were about to eat shit there.”

The words hardly reach you, you were too busy actively telling yourself not to stare at his pretty, plump lips because that is not something friends do. Not the can of worms you needed to open, right?

“I-,” You turned away from him, stretching up to the tea tin that had been out of your reach. “To think you’ve saved me from falling while reaching for loose leaf tea, twice.”

“All in a day's work,” His hands twitched around your sides but hardly shifted until you began to descend from the countertop. In fact, Hawks hardly moved away at all until you were situated back on your crutches.

You pretended not to notice the flush on his cheeks.

Maybe, it was a bit too close. Definitely too close, and bad circumstances, but god, you wanted more and more of him. 

You swallowed your desires down, cracking a smile. 

Be normal.

Be cool!

You shook the tin, leaves and dried fruit rattling inside, “So, cream or sugar?”

 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

 The two of you ended up on the couch, picking through the several boxes of takeout that Hawks had brought. Most of dinner was spent bantering back and forth about one of Hawks’ newest modeling contracts and if it was ‘ethical’ for him to wear his own feathers for the sake of ‘fashion’?

“So, off-topic from insulting my employment ethics, ” Hawks spoke while munching on a piece of chicken. “You surviving?”

“Barely,” You laughed, setting down your utensils with a huff. “I forget how isolation makes you go a little crazy. I’m running out of dumb shit to watch and even dumber shit to send you.”

Hawks snorted, setting down his own box, having had his fill, “I know you are more than adept at combing the internet for more good shit to send me.”

“I mean, maybe, but you keep sending me juicy photos of you being a dumbass. They’re hard to show up, you know?” You side-eyed him at the birdish tilt of his head.

“You don’t need to show me up, angel,” Hawks reminded you, some feathers packing up what was left of the food. “Though, it’s fun. You’re fun.”

You internally winced at the sentiment but forced the smile on your face not to waver.

It was a needed reminder.

This close to Hawks, you could fucking smell him. Maybe it was a little creepy, but you remembered it so well, after the villain attack. The scent of some sort of spicy cologne and old sweat, but it was hardly unpleasant. No, it was intoxicating. It made you feel almost fuzzy, as it wafted around like some reminder that Hawks and you were so close. 

You thanked the stars that the apartment lacked the stimuli to make your quirk activate on its own. 

Your couch wasn’t very large, and it seemed even smaller with how Hawks had laid his wings over it. They were propped up over the back, outstretched just the smallest bit to relieve some pressure. All the same, the massive feathers made you feel minuscule.

Even the way he was sitting was intoxicating and a bit gut-wrenching. It was casual, the way he leaned back against the far cushions, legs somewhat spread with an ankle over the opposite knee. The pose oozed a weird, untouchable confidence that you hadn’t seen in Hawks in months, maybe ever. At least, not directed at you.

Despite the warm nature of his words, he seemed guarded.

It made your throat dry.

 Keigo was quite on edge. He hadn’t meant to get so close in the kitchen, really, he hadn’t. But, seeing you dangling off the edge of the counter like that, even if it was harmless and mundane, made his entire body and mind react before he could think.

But, you weren’t in any danger. Even if you had been, Keigo would’ve been there to catch you. 

He’d put himself out of it, overthinking the whole thing. You were fine. Safe. 

The other part of his mind spun with how he wanted to be so much closer.

Feeling the warmth of your body, the lines of your waist, the thrum of your heart and breath so fucking close—

It was a lot.

But, he was well-trained and not going to choke. 

He’d shoved himself to the opposite side of the couch to you, keeping his boundaries up, strong as steel and hard as carbon. 

Of course, Keigo knew the feelings were mutual. That didn’t mean that none of this was terrifying in the same way that it was exhilarating. 

As much as he wanted to be closer (so much closer), Keigo remained careful. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was ruin something before it had even truly happened. 

 You sat back against the couch, repositioning your injured leg on the coffee table, “So, thoughts.”

“On?”

You didn’t look at Keigo as you replied, rather glared at your TV, “What to watch?”

“Oh,” You could hear the smile in his voice. “We’re watching something?”

“You tell me. I imagine you don’t get lots of time to do this sort of thing, do you?” 

Hawks didn’t reply for a moment, sitting deeper into the couch, “Not really.”

“Then indulge, tailfeathers,” You tossed the remote in his lap. “Anything, go for it. Go nuts.”

Hawks nearly put on watching a reality cooking show, before you said that that was off-limits, per an odd conversation from way back when where he had admitted to be hot for Gordon Ramsey. He had been a little too vague as to whether or not he would pop a boner from Gordon’s filmed degradations. And truthfully, if anything was gonna give Hawks a hard-on tonight, you were determined for it not to be competitive cooking TV. Maybe, just maybe, you’d rather it be you.

...

Eventually, he settled on some psychological thriller you’d never heard of.

 Keigo hadn’t either. 

He was glad that you couldn’t hear his heart in the same way he heard your’s pounding.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched you crutch around, turning the already dim lights lower.

Calm the down, Hawks. 

Calm the fuck down.

He’d never even done this before. Keigo wasn’t sure how to handle the situation, even if it was as simple as watching a film.

It would’ve been simpler if the tension in the air was thick and foggy, clouding over his consciousness as he tried to focus on anything other than your nearness and how much he wanted to drag you into his lap. 

 …

 His feathers fluttered as you plopped back onto the couch, pulling a blanket over your lap and offering one to him.

He took it, settling it over his lap as the movie went on.

 You weren’t an idiot. You could feel the blood rushing in your hot ears as you fisted the blanket over your legs. 

Your mind spoke a lot louder than you wanted it to:

Just fucking do it.

 Do what exactly?

 The paramount thought that was causing anxiety to twirl in your gut.

Maybe, you could just tell him how you felt.

Maybe just hold his hand.

Maybe get fucking rejected because he’s out of your league and out of bounds.

Maybe even kiss him—

 You were torturing yourself, the movie just background noise to your internal dilemma.

You’d asked him to your apartment and Hawks had bought you fucking dinner. That wasn’t a lot, sure, maybe, but there were also the months of lead-up. 

There were all of the cold mornings and cheeky grins you gave each other in the waking coffee shop. There were the fuzzy jokes, the lingering glances, and the tight feeling you got in your chest whenever he graced you with mere eye contact.

It felt like you were already in too deep to not be honest about how you felt towards him. Fuck, you’d been in too deep for months. Every time you made him a damn drink, you wanted to just drink him in. You were all fluttering hearts and sweet smiles for him in a way that you couldn’t suppress, only squash in moments of such intense anxiety like this—

“Hey, dove?” It was Hawks, shocking you from your turmoil with a soft voice. “Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah, I’m good.” Your reply was curt and clipped. 

Make a decision now.

Pull the bandage off, (Y/N). 

It’ll just be worse, the longer you wait.

Maybe Hawks did just want to fuck with some cute feelings, the seemingly longing looks be damned. Yeah, you liked him way more than for just a fuck, that was obvious and unavoidable. Besides, it’d be better to know than to not know, right?

 “You sure? If the movie’s too much, we can turn it off,” Hawks sounded genuinely concerned from the other side of the couch.

...

You committed, taking a deep breath and turning to Hawks. 

 “It’s not that,” You looked at the couch between the two of you, tracing the seam of the cushion. “The movie’s fine.”

“Then, you’re not feeling great for another reason?” Keigo asked, feeling each of your breaths and heartbeats like bass drums in his ears. He hides the shaking of his hands by crossing them over his chest. “You can talk to me, (Y/N).”

“Can I?” You asked, shaking your head and laughing at yourself. “Hawks, I need to do something really fucking stupid.”

Holy fuck.

Are they—

“What’s that?” 

His voice was smaller than he wanted it to be.

 “Fuck, Hawks,” You finally forced yourself to look at him, taking in his guarded posture and pained expression. 

Your heart sank.

“I just need to be honest with you.”

Hawks’s brow soured, lips twitching, “Go for it, dove.”

You laughed, maybe trying to soothe yourself, “It’s probably is just, so fucking stupid, all things considered.”

You ran a hand through your hair, biting your lip between sentences and willing yourself to just get it out—

 “Hawks, I like you. A lot.”

 He still didn’t say anything and you could feel shards of your heart drive into your lungs.

You forced yourself to look up at him, smiling with the slight release of tension in your sternum, however painful. 

“I know, we’re just friends, right? I’m just the barista and you’re my special, pro hero regular. I know I’m overstepping right now, but it feels unfair for me to not be honest with you.”

 Keigo already knew this, right? He knew how you felt, fuck, he’d felt how you felt. He just wasn’t prepared for the exploding and thrumming in his chest when you told him with your sweet lips and kind words.

Why did it feel so different when you were smiling at him like you were in pain and telling him so fucking honestly with your words?

It was the thing about you that he admired the most, that candor in your tone and the grin in your cheeks as you spoke so.

But, your smile was falling, leaving watery-looking eyes. 

“Hawks, I like you. Way too much for friends, and I needed to say something.” 

Keigo’s mouth was dry.

For the first time in so fucking long, he was genuinely speechless.

He couldn’t recall a time in his life anyone had spoken so earnestly to him, just you. Just you, you, you— casually, over and over again, you talked to him like he was something real and something to be cared for. It was subtle, but it was one of the many things that made him want you closer. 

Yet, despite all his bundled up desires, he was lost for words.

“I’m sorry—”

He stopped you, “(Y/N), please don’t apologize.”

“But—” 

“(Y/N).”

 Hawks’ voice was sharp. It made the expression on your face rapidly fall.

He looked at you with rapt attention, arms uncrossing from his chest.

He turned to you on the couch, feathers fluffed up and twitching.

Your nose stung as Hawks, all pretty golds and ambers, shook out an exhale and balled up the blanket in his lap.

“Hawks—”

“Why would you need to be sorry?”

Hawks looked at you with wide eyes, brow creased. His shoulders were... shaking?

Your head spun, leg aching, “... What do you mean?”

Hawks finally met your gaze, giving you the sweetest, saddest smile you’d ever seen, “Dove, you’re acting like there’s no way I could feel the same way.”

Every cell in your body stuttered.

“You’ve done it since we’ve met.”

Hawks scooted closer on the cushions of the couch.

“You’ve always acted like there’s just no way I could like you, give a shit about you—”

He moved a bit closer.

You couldn’t make yourself move.

“You want to know the truth?”

You creaked out a nod.

 Keigo couldn’t help the way he went to cup your cheeks in his hands, thumbs rubbing along the apples of your cheeks. You lean into his touch, just like at the hospital, despite the blend of absolute fear and confusion in your expression.

“How could I not care about you, dove?” And it finally came out. “I care about so much— dove, I don’t know what to fucking say.”

That made you speechless, lips parting just the slightest bit as Hawks continued, losing composure with his morphing expressions. 

He wet his lips, swallowing, “Dove, I’ve never—any of this. I-I don’t know what o-or how to say any of what I want to right now.”

You speak before thinking.

“Show me, if you don’t know how to say it.”

 The idea seemed so novel as Keigo ran a thumb over your bottom lip, pulling it from between your teeth. He met your gaze with the gooiest, sweetest look you’d ever seen in your life, “You want me to?”

“Please.”

It was all the two of you had wanted for a while now, right?

“If I kiss you, I’m not ever gonna be able to make this go away, am I?” Keigo was speaking to himself, just above his breath. But, you were more than close enough to hear him. 

“Hey, Hawks? I don’t know if we can make ‘this’ try to go away.” You grabbed one of the hands cupping your face, pulling it away, only to shakily press in your lips to the bones on the back of it. “I don’t want to anymore.”

“Y-you gotta stop being so sweet, (Y/N)—”

Neither of you could wait a moment longer.

Your arms wrapped around Keigo’s shoulder. In the same motions, he pulled you closer by your waist, dragging you finally closer to him.

He held your jaw like you were the most precious thing in the world. Because, truthfully, you were to him. The sentiment was shared Deeply. 

Your lips pressed together and the long-held tensions in your chests mutually shattered, dissolving in the honeyed touch of each other’s genuine attention. 

You angled your head perfectly, Keigo’s hand guiding you as his mouth worked against yours. It wasn’t a particularly steamy sort of affair, but by god, it wasn’t in any way chaste. Not with the tight grip and thumbing on your ribs. Not with the way your hands tangled in the soft (holy fuck, soft) hair at the base of Keigo’s skull. 

You both tasted each other's sweetness, craving more of it after denying yourselves of it for so long. It was white-hot, exploding behind your eyes, even as your quirk remained dormant. Keigo was honey and cream and smoked spices all dancing across your palette.

To Keigo? You were sweet, cool water over a hot burn. You were the heat of a hearth rolling over him on the coldest of days. He swears that in the first moments he finally got to be close to you, and over and over again— he finally understood how your quirk worked.

There was no way that finally feeling you, feeling you as he felt you, could be described with just five senses.

You pulled away first, gasping for breath and arching your back into him. You lingered as close as you could, pressing your forehead to Keigo’s while your breaths mingled. You didn’t dare stray far.

“Was that enough to show you?” Keigo asked, breathless. He kept a wide hand against your back, urging you with a bit of soft pressure to put your weight into it. You complied, settling in his hold as Keigo stroked at your hot cheeks.

You nodded, beaming up at him with that sunny smile of yours. It never failed to make heat burn through Keigo and god, did it feel good to finally let it unabashed.

“I take it, you like me too, huh,” You smiled, looking a bit embarrassed. 

“Very much, very much,” Keigo repeated, pressing a kiss to your nose (he’d always wanted to do that). “So much, (Y/N). I apologize for not saying anything sooner. This is just...”

“New to you, right?” You finished his sentence, thumbing along the back of his neck in a way that made Keigo just melt. “It’s been a while for me too, if it makes you feel better.”

“It does, dove. Thank you.” Keigo let out a deep breath, shaking his head against yours. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.”

 “It’s alright, same goes for me,” As much as you needed to adjust due to the angle of your recovering leg, you couldn’t make yourself do it. You were so wonderfully close to Hawks, you never wanted to move. 

“If we’re being honest, then I need to be honest with you,” Hawks met your eyes, his expression going a little dimmer. 

You braced for the worst. 

He picked up your shift easily, finally able to express how quickly he caught your mood after so long of being attuned to it. 

“Oh wait, no, (Y/N), nothing terrible, I promise,” Hawks rubbed at your sides. “It’s about the miel.”

“The... miel?” You cocked your head to the side, confused, recalling the drink somewhat hazily. “The drink I made you on the day of... the attack?”

Hawks gave you a tense smile, “That one, yeah. Remember how you said it was just based on your ambient feelings?”

“Uh-huh.” You let confusion lace your tone until it slowly started to dawn on you.

“You made the drink, ambiently, around me—”

Your eyes widened, mouth falling open, “Oh my god, Hawks, did my feelings for you get in the drink?”

Hawks graced you with a sweet, sympathetic smile, fingers tucking at the hair around your ear, “They did, dove. I’ve kind of known for a few days, it just hasn’t been the time or setting to say something. I apologize.”

“N-no, it’s okay, I totally understand,” You sighed into his grip. “I really thought it might be something worse.”

“Consider your worries assuaged,” Hawks hummed, eyes drifting to your boot. He deadpanned suddenly. “On a scale of one to ten, how bad does your leg hurt right now?”

 Fairly bad, considering. You were half on your knees, the booted leg twisted awkwardly while still raised to the coffee table. This wasn’t even to mention the arch of your back so you could be all that closer to Hawks.

The pain of the position was easy to forget; you were still shaking from kissing Hawks just once. 

“Uh, maybe like a seven, once I can feel anything other than how good you felt just now,” you hummed, grinning up at Hawks as his face went bright red.

The infinite pleasure you received, making him blush so sweetly. 

He shook it off, squeezing your sides, “Cute. Very cute. Mutually returned sentiment, but let’s adjust.”

You nodded but didn’t have much time to react as a bundle of Hawks’s feathers lifted you every which way, albeit incredibly gently. All said and done, he was fully upright against the back of the couch. With the support of a feather or two, Hawks’s arms tugged you into his lap. Your legs stretched to the side, the booted one immediately propped up by a feather-supplied pillow.

You both settled yourselves, blushing and leaning on each other now that you finally were allowing yourself to. 

Keigo fully wrapped his arms around you, pulling you tight against him. One of his wings even shifted to drape over one his shoulder, sheltering the two of you in a canopy of a crimson. Keigo let his hands wander over your hips, not seeking anything more than blessed attention and heat. You gave it all to him, tucking your face into his collarbone, drowning in the scent that made you feel at home. 

Keigo pressed his lips to your crown and legitimately shuddering.  

He spoke to himself, so faintly and quietly, you hardly caught it, “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”

There was melancholy in his voice, but you were quick to strip it away.

You brushed your lips along his jaw, savoring the way he held you tighter, “I have too. Can we do this more?”

“Anytime, dove. Anytime.”

“Right now sound good?”

You withdrew to beam up at him as you were so good at doing, only to be smothered by craving-satiating kisses anywhere Keigo could get to. The sweet, high laughter that he dripped onto you made your heart burst all over again.

And you finally, finally fell into the other sweetly, warmly, and properly. 

||||||||||||||||||

taglist: @thepandapopo @hawksexual @sinclairsamess @darcia22 @inhalingsoysauce @yee-fxcking-haw

[enjeolmii]

talkies by the night - n.nk

genre: fluff

word count: 1.6k

warnings: cursing but only once, whiny niki, more fluff, also more fluff, that’s about it

a/n: this one’s another repost from my old acc ;)

you (10:51pm) hey bb :)

you (10:51pm) u busy?

❣︎niki❣︎ (10:51pm) hey sunshine

❣︎niki❣︎ (10:51pm) what’s up?

dialling ❣︎niki❣︎…

0:00

0:01

0:02

❣︎niki❣︎ “what’s my sunshine up to at this time of the night?”

you “i was trying to finish all of my homework at once so that i’d have nothing more to worry about”

❣︎niki❣︎ “hm”

you “and now im bored” (your lips form a pout, though you knew he wouldn’t be able to see it - you hear him heave a yawn)

you “how about you? you sound tired. is you alright? is you good? let me know”

❣︎niki❣︎ “yeah, i’m fine. it was just a little busier at the dance studio today" (he giggled)

you “yeah?”

❣︎niki❣︎ “mhm”

❣︎niki❣︎ “dang, those kids really got me beat. this one kid kept asking me to watch him do the dab and even tried to teach me the ‘proper way’ of doing it… for, like, my entire break”

you “oh, lord, i hate kids like that”

❣︎niki❣︎ “tell me about it”

you (a laugh escapes through your nose)  “well, i was going to ask you if you wanted to come over and hang out tonight, but i think you should take a good rest for now”

❣︎niki❣︎ “what?”

❣︎niki❣︎ “no, no. i could come over right now if you want. i’m not really that tired, y'know"

you “no, bb. you just said so yourself that you’re tired. you should take a rest. i’ll be fine, hm?”

❣︎niki❣︎ “but i really want to see you" (he brings his lower lip out)

you “we could just open video call if you really want to. you should at least be at bed early tonight”

❣︎niki❣︎ “please, please, please, …” (he whined continuously)

you (a short silence comes as you contemplate slightly) “ugh, fine. but you aren't staying past twelve, alright”

❣︎niki❣︎ “yes!”

❣︎niki❣︎ “i’ll be over in 15. wait for me, sunshine!”

2:48

2:49

the call has ended

Minutes pass by, and the sound of the doorbell stops you from surfing through movies on Netflix. Rising to your feet, you throw the remote control behind you on the couch and head for the door. You grab the knob and pushed it down to pull the door open. Then, a smile replaces your excited expression, revealing your boyfriend standing with crescent eyes.

"Hi," Niki's smile widens at the sight of you, and you open your arms immediately to engulf him in a warm hug.

"Hey," Taking in the scent of his mild cologne, you smile onto his shoulder.

He then pulls his head away from yours to cup it in his palms within the proximity you had, your arms still wrapped around his cozy body.

"I missed you." He said, squishing your cheeks.

"I missed you more. Come in." You pull away from him with a giddy laugh before dragging him into your house and onto the couch, closing the door behind you. But as you were about to take a seat next to him, you notice him clutching a black plastic bag in his hand. Your gaze diverts from the bag, then to him, and you arch an eyebrow in question.

"I got us a lot of snacks," He raised it to pile out every single one of the various go-to snacks you get from the convenience store whenever you went for a visit. "They're your favorites."

Not one second passed by, and you feel your lips come trembling in the effort to hold back the tears in your eyes, remembering how you told him that you're in dire need of a convenience store trip since your siblings snatched all of yours last week.

"You didn't have to." Your eyes start filling up by the brim, reaching the back of your index to wipe the tears off of your now wet cheeks.

The male slumps further into the sofa, amused at how shallow your standards are for crying. "C'mere,"

He momentarily stands up to grab the blanket that you burrito-ed yourself in earlier before he came, and he opens his arms comfortably for you to cuddle under the blanket.

"Why are crying, hm? It's nothing to cry about, crybaby." Niki whispers into your hair once you've climbed up the sofa to snuggle beside him. He wraps the two of you with the blanket, lightly tapping his hand onto your tear-stained cheeks as your head sinks deeper into the crook of his neck.

"I don't know either." You both snicker.

With the remote control stuck in the boy's grip, you unsuccessfully attempt to get your hands on the black gear when he abruptly presses through the several rows of horror movies. Niki knows very well how much you despise this kind of stuff, especially at night. You always argued with him that even though he was there to stay with you throughout the movie, it wasn't like he would be there for you the rest of the night.

He hoists the remote control higher in the air as he stands up, his other arm stretching to block you from reaching it. A grunt leaves your lips when you try to jump up from the sofa towards his hand, flying across the air to tackle him down onto the floor.

With a smirk on your face, your hands immediately lunge for the sides of his torso and the base of his neck, playfully brushing your fingers against his skin to tickle him amidst all his giggly squirms.

"Give- me- the remote-" You tickle him mercilessly, and he tries to turn you around to compete you to the floor.

"Nope." One push was all it took to have your back against the ground and your boyfriend kneeling beside your body. It's become your turn to get tickled, and you weren't prepared for it.

In between jagged giggles and desperate attempts to break free from the beast, you fail miserably to shut off his strategies. Your tensed-up muscles start to feel exhausted and it didn't take you long enough to give in to his disposition.

"Okay, okay. Stop," You breathlessly plead, and he detaches his hands from you, alleviated, getting back on his feet before reaching a hand out to help you get up. "You just never let me win these games, do you?" You sigh.

You take his hand and hurl yourself up with his help. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you walk back to the couch, dragging your shaky feet across the floor, only to collapse back into the cushions.

"It's okay. I'll let you win next time." He tugs you back into his arms under the blanket.

Through the decks of choices of horror movies you have searched through, you somehow convinced him to choose one that's a little more benign for the night. It didn't help him that seeing you, after such a long day at the dance studio, emphasized how beautiful and comforting you are to him. With that thought running perfectly in his mind, he gulps down and tears his stare away from you.

With his thumbs dancing across the right buttons of the gear, the pair of you finally find the one that you had set in stone, though you still had little doubts about your choices.

The movie began and it was already causing tiny bumps to appear on your arms. The main character was roaming alone in the dark of the corridors, finding a strange, eerie letter lying at the end of the hall.

The lights turned off everywhere in your house only added to the anxiety building up in your body, so you try scooting closer to Niki, which seemed to be impossible now that you see how you're already shouldering his chest.

Your actions caught the male in a string of silent laughter. You could tell he was trying to hide it from you, though, and you shoot daggers in his direction when you felt the vibrations on your shoulder.

Halfway into the movie, you got immersed in the thrill. Munching on the bag of your favorite snacks, it actually wasn't as scary as you had thought initially, the jump scares much milder than you had expected. Yet the unsettling feeling of never knowing what could happen still lingers in you, and quite oddly, the situation scares you more rather than the ghosts themselves. A little strange for someone as weak-hearted as you, but it seems to fit right perfectly to your tast-

You were torn away from your train of thoughts by a heavy feeling on your shoulder. With a startled jolt, you see your boyfriend leaning on your shoulder with his eyes shut asleep. You bring your hand to your chest, relieved at the sight of him instead of the creepy monster from the movie out to get you.

His head lies against you, the proximity so close that you could count every strand of eyelashes that he had. You took the opportunity to stare deep into his elegance. He was almost like an angel offered to you shining from the heavens with those good looks, and you all but feel the butterflies erupt from your stomach - just like when he confessed to you at that practice room a year ago.

"If only you didn't look so gorgeous like that, I would have punched you in the face for passing out on me right now." You quietly mumbled at his resting state, a sigh leaving your lips as you go back to munching chips and watching the movie with a shaking head.

When you return into a trance of spewing curses, a light smile forms at the corner of his lips, feeling indebted for having a girlfriend as cool as you.