#im just so tired and i cant do anything | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

petvles · 2 years

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#winter depression be hitting me a little earlier and a little harder than usual #general feelings of inadequacy in both my work and personal life #have left me feeling #just a bit #paralysed #i guess #...#im just so tired and i cant do anything #ive tried #nothing works #im so sick and tired of feeling this way every goddamn year #as if my normal depression isnt enough but then winter has to come around and be like: guess who bitch!!#sigh #sorry for putting this all in the tags im on mobile and for some reason Tumblr mobile still hasnt invented a fucking readmore #jani chats

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bunnyboy-juice · 2 months

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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???

#personal #i am emotional yes #over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme #nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post #and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity #especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making #if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care #i just needed to scream #and this is one small thing #but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks #saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that #my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten #i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked #-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also #and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb #a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u #idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit #im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved #im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does #wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun

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sunwyrms · 3 months

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only thing i can think of when i think of loopdile sorry.

[id in alt]

#isat #isat loop #isat siffrin #isat isabeau #isat odile #in stars and time #isat spoilers #isafrin #meteor shower isat #loopdile #artificial satellite isat #thats the fancy name im giving it right now #messy warmup i tried to do before i did a bit of artfight stuff #and now im too tired to actually do artfight stuff. so here we are.#based off that one seinfield bit i cant find rn. lmao.#i think its really funny to play up the bit of loop's eye turning red in response to extremely minor inconveniences.#odiles not gonna say anything. shes just gonna let them dig their own grave.

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bucephaly · 11 months

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It's kinda shocking to me how few people seem to know how prevalent the 'my great grandmother was cherokee' myth is and how it's almost never actually true, especially when it comes with things like 'never signed up' or 'fell off the trail' or 'courthouse burned down destorying the documentation' etc etc.

People just don't even seem to know the history like.. when the Trail happened. My great great great grandfather was 2 years old during Removal in 1838, so peoples 'my great grandmother hid in the mountains!' is so clearly wrong. And we have rolls. From before and after removal, rolls done by cherokee nation and others by the government, rolls that were not stored in one random flammable courthouse. It's not difficult to find the actual evidence of ancestry.

And just.. there are lots of ways those family stories get started. It was a practice during the confederacy to claim cherokee ancestry to show one's family had 'deep roots in the south' that they were there before the cherokee were removed. Many people pretended to be cherokee and applied for the Guion-Miller payout just to try to steal money meant for cherokees - 2/3rds of the applicants were denied for having 0 proof of actual cherokee ancestry. [We even see lawyers advertising signing up for the Miller roll just to try to get free money.] And the myth even started in some families in the cherokee land lotteries, where the land stolen from us was raffled off, including the house and everything that was left behind when the cherokees were removed. We have seen people whose families just take these things stolen from the cherokee family and adopt them into their own family story, saying that they were cherokee themselves.

If you had some family story about being cherokee and you wanna have proof one way or the other, check out this Facebook group run by expert cherokee genealogists that do research for free. Just please read the rules fully and respect the researchers. They run thousands of people's ancestries a year and their average is only around 0.7% of lines they run actually end up having true cherokee ancestry.

#and ive heard even dumber origins of the cherokee family myth #such as an ancestor having a silly sounding name so the descendents just go 'oh she mustve been an indian!!!'#i was one of the few people who had my ancestry done on the facebook and had genuine cherokee ancestry #[though i had found it before it was just really validating to get it double checked and i started finding cousins (:]#like. i was told once when i was a kid by my grandma that my dad had cherokee ancestry and i didnt believe her. its wild that so many peopl #will make it a Fixture of their identity [or even just smth they bring up ever] with Zero proof #at least for cherokees from what ive seen its usually considered really disrespectful to claim to have cherokee ancestry without #actually having the documentation [like ancestors on the rolls]#and no a dna test doesnt count. nor does 'my dad is Clearly not white!' or 'high cheekbones' or old family photos or anything #i had this discussion with someone recently whose dad had been calling himself 3/4 native but didnt know exactly what nation ???? hello?#and its like... sorry but ur dad is like. italian lol.#[and blood quantum is bullshit anyway im tired of the 'im 1/16 cherokee' comments its dumb #cherokee nation does not have a blood quantum requirement. its pointless bringing it up in the discussion of who is or isnt cherokee]#also mandatory disclaimer that im reconnecting. i didnt grow up connected to the culture of even knowing my ancestry #this is all from my looking into this stuff over the past year or so. i cant claim to be an authority over anything regarding this #this is p much all my repeating things ive heard said by people who know a lot more than i do haha #man. and this isnt even starting to get into the fake tribe stuff. the only legit cherokee groups are the 3 federally recognized bands #cherokee nation of oklahoma. united keetoowah band. and the eastern band of cherokee indians.#any others that are state recognized or not at all arent acknowledged as legitimate by any of the legit cherokee groups #anyway. my final message goodb.ye #cherokee #tsalagi

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luck-of-the-drawings · 6 months

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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

#jrwi show #jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying #nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess #ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so #i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair #both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home #but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again #not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO #i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED #all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis #but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum #and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it #youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes #BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply

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puppyeared · 9 months

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man

#maybe im being pessimistic abt this. im not saying u should wear a mask every waking moment of your life god knows i cant #but also. hell no i dont trust u if anything i distrust u ppl even more after how things played out for the past 3 years #like there are situations where it might be inevitable catching covid. most of my family members are nurses and in constant contact #but there are also a ton of ways to make that risk low as possible like masking and wearing a face shield and having sanitizer #for me its not enough to just say oh we're in a small group and we're all vaccinated #motherfucker your kid is sick from preschool EVERY TIME WE VISIT. of course ill be wearing a mask she gave me covid last year #also no the fuck it isnt seasonal the cases go up because lack of caution makes the virus spread and mutate especially around times when #ppl gather. add that with virus transmission in cold weather and its a matter of different factors increasing the risk of spread #im also tired of ppl not understanding that i wont be their responsibility if i do get sick. maybe they can help me recover #but at the end of the day the risk of death and long term health is all on me. i cant change that #the govt barely gives me accommodations what makes u think theyll do anything for every individual case of long covid or worse #im so tired. im so tired #i dont even know if its possible to want this to be over anymore i just wish we didnt have to deal with this in the first place #ALSO COUGH INTO YOUR SLEEVE SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS SO HARD TO REMEMBER #oh its just a cold/dry throat its not like i have covid or anything. no!! its basic hygiene!!! how is this so hard to understand!!!!!!!!!!#and no this isnt abt whether people have the means to protect themselves this is me bitching abt my relatives not taking me seriously #vent #my art #myart #doodles #covid 19

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fear-no-mort · 16 days

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thinkign about how alone and unloved morty was for all his life and rick was the first time anyobdy ever put such an amount of intense attention and dependency onto him . and rick had a whole new family and losing them made him stop seeing the value in other people as a whole and morty was the one and first thing that woke him up

#really long Tag rant down there #one of the most Things Ever about them to me is how morty barely even understands just how much rick loves him. more than anything #and its something ricks done on purpose hes made sure of it #because hes so weak he cant handle it #them being together is agony in avsolutely every way and sense but also theyre the best part of eachothers lives #morty because nobodys payed attention to him quite like rick has and all the exciting space adventures and rick just cause. he literally #just likes him thats it. and he never knew it #also i was thinking of this earlier. one of the reasons season 1 is soooo good to me is cuz you get to see morty grow on rick in real time #stuff like that moment where morty walks through the door and rick is instantly at the sight of him SUPER excited and he goes hey!!! but #then he clears his throat and goes Hey trying to pretend like this dumb scaredy kid isnt becoming his favourite thing hes ever known day af #er day #and goddamn night shaym aliens. in that moment where he realised morty had been fake the whole time i rlly wonder what he was thinking and #how he felt. like. oh man this is messing with me way too much this is Bad #and then he got drunk over it and yknow. that . is it post credits. i think. that scene #n literally At the Very beginning he was tired n drunk n stupid thinking like man fuck this im gonna blow this place up and do what prime #did to me. But he brought morty with him Even just at that point it flashed in his mind and he absolutely could not bear to let morty die #Breathes in #im rewatching in October bc anniversary month. i literally can’t wait im so actually impatient i considered just doing it today So hard #odiespeak

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transmogrified-in-the-void · 3 months

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Happy disability pride month to ppl who have disorders/disabilities that are mostly annoying to deal with. It doesn't mean you're "faking it", or that it isn't a "real disability". This month is still for you

#disability pride month #disability pride #idk how to tag this lol #but as someone who IS disabled and has a couple of disorders that make life just annoying to get through l #that is a disability. life is not typically annoying or a slog to live #i have an autoimmune disorder that mostly shows up in menopausal women and chronic fatigue (not cfs tho) and executive dysfunction (not adhd #but together they make life SO ANNOYING ALL THE TIME #im ALWAYS ITCHY and ALWAYS TIRED and CANT DO ANYTHING EVER #and its annoying #so to everyone who is living a similar thing and feels like they are faking it #youre not. this month is still for you

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jrueships · 4 months

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pretty privilege in general is a terrible tool. but when the racism that it's ingrained in really has a platform to activate, it's just absurd .

#if ure a pretty white boy. oh my goodness. roll out the red frickin carpet to all the fame attention & feminization in the world #omg hes so pretty. pretty like a woman. hes just like a woman. lets treat him like an object #everything he does isnt really his fault. hes just a girl bcs hes pretty. bcs hes pretty lets make him cry #lets do a deepdive into his character & pounce or paint any opportunity possible to find a villain in his life that isnt himself #meanwhile a poc person is pretty & theyre get a compliment sure #but never like. a normal one #they can get treated like a goddess or a god yea #but like. one that imposes fear and distance. only to be admired from a distance #if ure pretty and poc then ure an artifact to steal #if ure pretty and white then ure a crisp blank page for ppl to doodle out all their fantasies and plans for u to fold right along into #bcs ure pretty just like a girl: usable.#shit is just stacks on stacks on stacks of stagnant thinking stacked onto sick ideals #idk man #maybe im just going crazy bcs i hate too much of anything. getting irritable & tired from feeling trapped #cant ever escape anything bcs the very existence of escape implies the threat of capture

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greasydumbfuck · 3 months

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also just for the record. no matter how much utterly stupid shit i say or draw about him, frank actually makes me so deeply sad. this old man should be picking up his grandkids but he cant. i think about him too much and im so sad

#marvel #frank castle #the punisher #this is true for like most of these guys [gestures vaguely to comicbook men] but frank is the one that makes me want to chew on rocks rn. s #like yeah i selfship with him for fun and i like to think about cutesy or funny stuff involving him but the reality is he makes me so sad #ig thats part of why i do it. you make me so sad old man. but youre not real so in some version of not real you can be a little better #not happy but yk better #but like. just. fuck man hes so deeply damaged and hurt it drives me up the wall. my hurt person hurting people #as always i struggle to string words together this isnt news if you know anything about him you know exactly what im getting at #he would have been a wonderful father and husband. the way hes so devoted to them still. always. its killing me #sometimes i see canon moments of him where how just fundamentally deeply broken as a person he is and augh #nothing can help you nothing can make things any better but my god you cannot be left alone in this state #eh maybe thats it. i cant help him i cant make him feel better. but i cant let him be alone like this #i dont think he should have to be alone like this #bleh sorry word vomit. im tired and sleepy. i wrote 4 essays this week. need to write 2 more. going a little bonkers #brain is fried.

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ittybittybumblebee · 5 months

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i want to see exactly how many people actually have thought i am for research because ive gotten this quite a few times from different people i just wanna see how far it goes

#please understand while im not doubting so much now im not going to base off everything by peoples perceptions of my online behavior but #i feel like it does give good insight #i just always have a little hesitation in me because i feel like no one can get a full scope or honest picture of myself to Know me enough #to say that i can trust their opinion of me without knowing me enough in that sense #gahh. cuz i always feel like im doing Just Fine Enough i feel normal enough but im not guhh.#GUHHGGGHGH #it literally wouldnt change anything for me. like im autistic . ok! shrugs my shoulders. i cope i cant to anything more to help myself #than that #do u guys get it. do i have to go eat bricks or do u guys get it. my internal struggle. im like sisyphus #i cant trust other peoples opinions of my and i cant trust my own perceptions #while of course self diagnosis is a wonderful thing i dont want to put a name on myself that serves me no purpose #autism is awesome but do i deserve that title when dont feel like i own it wether i am autistic or not #im just so conflicted.#do you get it. do you get me. am i being reasonable . am i just fighting a truth about myself or are my doubts realistic. but the Evidence.#im so tired #i do not wanna b one of those tiktok girlies saying theyr hyperfixated on cooking pasta #Now do you get me #all my long winded rabbit trail rambles out of me before i finally get to my one point condensed conclusion #and now i just cant delete the rest of my tags because of all my time spent on them #enjoy my indentity crisis lol #i Might delete some of these tags later

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bl00dw1tch · 9 months

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Watching someone play afop and im so. Oh my god. Oh my GOD. It's literally just a fucking showcase of all the Exact type of shit that has been happening to indigenous people and people of color have been dealing with for Centuries at the hands of white supremacy and imperialism. Like its literally just Showing all that Shit from the perspective of a Na'vi in universe. So it "demonizes" the RDA accordingly. And uet so many fucking reviewers are joshing on it and calling it Boring and Slow and Uninspired and that it makes human's 'cartoonishly evil' LIKE YOU PEOPLE HAVENT LOOKED AT A SINGLE FUCKING CURRENT EVENT IN YOUR LIVES. Oh my god im so mad at all these fucking reviewers now. The fucking AUDACITY to look at something this fucking Honest about the cruelty humans are capable of, while living during the fucking day and age with all this Knowledge we have at our fingertips -- the fucking audacity to look at this game and what the character goes through and not being able to muster up ANY other fucking emotion besides "ubisoft never was great at story anyway so idc lol" fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. Like actually. You can't even fucking ATTEMPT to connect to this story emotionally? Not even a fucking Smidge? Jesus fucking christ people need everything to be spoon fed to them these days. God forbid a piece of media actually ask you to meet it in the middle for once.

#horse.txt #vent //#im mad lol. the farther i get into the story the more mad i get #oh oh the humans putting the Na'vi in cages is a bit extreme? a bit unrealistic??#what the fuck has been going on US borders for the past two decades then.#oh oh the pollution of the land and the water to hurt resistance efforts and native populations is so cartoonishly evil!!#HUMANS WOULD NEEEEVER DO SOMETHING SO DIABOLICAL 😱😱😱#get fucking real. i am so tired of people looking down on Avatar when it's one of the first pieces of mainstream media that ive Ever seen #cover these topics in a fictional lense with So candidly. and nobody wants to fucking take it seriously because it makes them Uncomfortable #to see humans be the fucking badguys #iTS NOT EVEN ABOUT /ALL/ HUMANS THE REAL VILLIAN IS THE FUCKING RDA! ITS CAPITALISM!!!!!#THATS THE FUCKING POINT!!! but noooo people are so fucking sensitive they cant see it as anything but 'misanthropic'#like all of the humans in the resistance arent RIGHT FUCKING THERE for one. and for two ACKNOWLEDGING HUMANITIES FLAWS ISNT MISANTHROPIC #humans have flaws!!! we are capable of great cruelty just as much as we are great kindness!!!#if simply acknowledging and exploring that fact in stories is 'misanthropic' and depresses you then thats on YOU.#grow some thicker skin or something dude idk lol

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nerime · 6 months

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my coworkers are being turbo transphobic and literally refuse to listen to answers to questions they fucking ask argh!!! I can just tell you!!! I can just answer you!!!!! I have answers!!! to the ridiculous questions you ask in a mocking way!!!! if you listen for one second I can just fucking explain!!!! 😡😭😡😭

#they ask why would trans men NEED tampons for men since they are WOMEN why cant they juat use WOMEN ones those stupid silly women ugh #they keep coming back to the topic #and im like hey they are not women ^_^ and try to explain the concept #in easy kindergarten terms like hey you know how you wouldnt want to buy pink girly items because you are a (cis) guy! well #and them im cut off with more transphobic shit before i can say anything else #my coworker literally said her son told her and her husband they were playing spin the bottle on a school trip #and she asked so did you kiss any girls? and he said #sure when it landed on a girl then i kissed a girl (implying he also kissed guys)#and she said her husband was so shocked because hes conservative #while she said she just ordered the son not to say anything else #and she tells us 'i think he was just testing us or something'#wtf. i said well okay maybe he was testing your reactions and now hes not gonna tell you shit anymore #and she went like hm 🤔#also the irony of saying her HUSBAND is conservative while she fucking. misgenders trans men all day and jokes about gay men constantly #in a nasty way #all of them do #im so tired #she complained kids nowadays are so caaual about gay people #and i said okay well i love it personally they should keep it up #and NO ONE at the table supported/agreed with me #sorry i am on a work trip and suffering #transphobia tw #neri stfu

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todayisafridaynight · 7 months

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being daigo in january 2017 was probably the happiest month of his life because he just got out of jail Again for a crime he didnt commit Again and he's probably thinking how he has to keep running the tojo clan if he wants to respect kiryu even though hes """""""'gone""""""""" or whatever and then some bitch with the newspaper in his ear like 'the governor's trying to evict us what should we do' and i can only imagine the LOUDEST sigh of relief this man had to internalize as he began to flesh out his two-year plan then and there

#snap chats #no one touch this post fuck you im drawing this at some point but im too tired but i still cant stop chortling about it #like i just know daigo was tired as balls so imagine getting THAT kind of out from it all .......#NO MORE GUILT ABOUT IT HE GOT AN EXCUSE NOW #Oh Noooo The Governments Telling Us To Fuck Off :(( I Dont Think Theres Anything We Can Reasonably Do But Dissolve #genuinely the nicest thing aoki ever did in his entire life was give daigo an out of this sisyphean existence and he didnt even know #he just wanted to be a big ol bitch boy and accidentally made daigo the happiest man on earth #ending this post now before i think of IW's plot and get annoyed again vjlkJLKAJVAL GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE #AND ALL THAT PLANNING WAS FOR FUCKING NOTHING /SORRY/ IM STILL BITTER #IM GOING NOW FR BYE STAN DAIGO

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sunsetcorvid · 10 months

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hyperfixates so hard that it interferes with my school and basic bodily needs

#okay like genuinely i cant focus on anything i cant do my work #im on academic probation because of this i dont know what to do at this point #any time i try to do one assignment my brain blocks it all out and i get so frustrated that i just dont do it #its so fucking stupid why cant i just focus on one assignment for 2 minutes i dont need to brainstorm object shows 24/7 im so tired of this #i dont even know how to put my frustrations into words now urgh #miles rambles #vent post #kinda #tw vent #may delete later

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opens-up-4-nobody · 3 months

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#im at such a weird point in my life. trying to choose between a phd and a doomed life as an academic and like just not doing that.#its crazy how not terrible i feel when im not in school. just give me tasks to do and i will do them. dont let me think.#but then im just avoiding my responsibilities. i dunno. i just feel like i would be happier with a structured job that ends when the day #is over. which is y my dad thinks i should get a government job. one of my former lab mates got a government job and he's settling into #spending the rest of his life out in Colorado. which is so weird. i dont kno how long ill be in the place im in now. will it b 4 more years?#or will it be only a few months? will i go back to school in the fall? its looking like yes bc i dont have a job lined up. but maybe ill #keep applying and dip out. let my dreams die in favor of balance and sanity. maybe some things arent meant to be.#its just so gutting. i was talking to my coworker this week. saying that im interested in so many things. i could have studied anything else #and traveled a completely different path. and a guy across the room was like: its never too late. but it feels like its too late. too late #to spend another impossible amount of money on getting a different degree. restarting on a second masters project. im almost 30.#im supposed to b saving money so that i can not work forever. but i cant do that if im just a student forever. so maybe i should just get a #job. god. but theres so much i still want to learn. and im in the perfect program for everything i thought i wanted. im in the perfect place #but everything's falling to pieces. whatever. i. just tired bc im on day 5 of work and have to go in for a day 6.#doing something i havent done before all day. but after than im going home for a week. so ill have lots to contemplate in the airport.#this is not how i thought things would turn out. but im glad im spending the summer working where i am. im learning lots on a human to human #level. and no one bleieves im 27 bc i apparently have a bby face lol. nope im 11 yrs older than u my 16yo coworker #unrelated

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