#im late...but watever...

[dotpyenji]

🎃🐰

[ninjasmudge]

BIRFDAY GIFT FOR @animemoonprincess​ based on his hc that maq is really bad at horror

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.

[rabbitmotifs]

hmm i might be asexual *has already been considered aspec for years*

[kirayamidemon]

Your version if Yuu is so tiny and cute 🖤 do you have a particular backstory for him?

aaaaaaaaa thank you so miuch, im glad you find them cute! ;;;;

They don’t really have a particular backstory or anything much really cause they are the (game) MC n I treat them as such, so essentially their “canon” is the games canon. For me with MCs in games or media, I always go with media canon n to me theyre more like one of the “canon” chars in said media than an “original” one. Its just that I’m given more free reign/creative liberties n more leeway with the appearance n design in some media when they dont have a “canon” appearance/design, like with twst.

I’m not really good with coming up with those kinds of stuff or info of any kind, msotly cause Im not really much of an OC creator nor do i really make ocs. Coming up with a design is already hard enough for me, so coming up with like stories or backstories or char info or anything is practically impossible lkjkd

[desyrel]

how do you trick your fail body into eating so you can get nutrience even though u do not feel hungry at all

[mearpsdyke]

how many times can i use synonyms for sparkle before my beta kills me with her bare hands, yahoo answers

[caruliaa]

btwe shes so gonna announce and possiblly perform at this music award thing shes at a new single while im asleep ik she is. augh.

[cgtg]

Do you have an opinion on all the beta trolls? Or dancestorssss

hmm, i havent gotten 2 the dancestors yet on my reread (srry 2 da other person that asked abt them, i was saving the ask til i got there but ive been slow reading lately...)

this is probably all stuff other ppl have said before but its my opinion & im just living my reality here ok

thank u for asking :J

i think the dancestors r a perfect example of how hussie's character-creating method of "lampoon on an annoying/weird internet archetype" can fall completely flat. i really do not like any of them, and the ones i don't actively dislike i feel nothing about.

i think part of its jusdt that i always got the sense that hussie also did'nt give a shit about any of them beyond making the jokes he wanted to make (aside from meenah and aranea, who i also just really didnt care about anyways haha). pretty much every homestuck character is about making a joke, but the best characters all get the breathing room to develop *actual* personalities and value beyond watever theyre icons of yk?

so incidentally the worst of the beta trolls tend to be the ones where hussie just didnt, for watevr reason they had, explore them in a meaningful or earnest way.

its fine to have charzcters that are just made to do a bit, & its beyond fine that not every character is as fleshed out as the others, i think that woul;dve officially caused hussie 2 go off da deep end. hahah. but yeah i just couldnt get myself 2 give a shit about them if i tried at all. & im not even getting into the shit they're actually harping on & how that affects my view of them (read: badly)

these opinions will prbly change/develop whenever i get to that point in the story again, but i rly doubt ill feel more than "nothing" abt any of those dancestors

[boxheadpaint]

no amount of medication will make me not start clawing my own head from the persistent vacuum-like hum outside. can make a diary post though.

took monitor off today, the skin under one patch was totally fine but the skin under the other seems to have had a less good time. that left patch was the itchier of the two, but i wonder what the exact difference was. can take a normal shower again though so im just not gonna worry about it. need to build up the resilience again to block out the heart palpitations too. i want nothibg more than to lay down and curl in until my chest doesnt feel so tight against the beating.

small things have gotten under my skin lately, mostly having to do with my surface computer. its always been a fickle beast to use, but lately its just seemed more like a chore. the back panel that i could use to prop it up has broken off, and my brain still thinks something is wrong with the pen cursor position no matter how many times i calibrate it. this mostly affects how i draw in ms paint, which is immensely frustrating and confusing.

i wish i wasnt so tired. theres things i want to do, genuinely i want to clean the living room or store things away or talk to my friends but i am just so so so exhausted physically and it doesnt go away no matter what i do or how much sleep i get. i keep having upsetting thoughts and struggling against thinking about them and how i affect others. i have Barely drawn the past... idk, few? two weeks? i drew something yesterday for the absol stream and i scribbled in my sketchbook but they were barely anything and still took great effort to just Not Fuck It Up.

i dont want to avoid it but i dont want to talk about it either. all i want is to feel at Least alright again. but instead i feel like a damn boulder, or a bunch of brittle sticks. id like to think that actually yes an extended depressive episode can be brought on by allergies and if i took a benadryl id suddenly feel like myself again. And probably also fall asleep but thats allergy meds for you.

4/9/2024, Well Watever

[fire-but-ashes-too]

☆º.⭐︎200 event!!⭐︎.º☆

HIIIIII

OMG OMG OMG OMG THIS IS GONNA BE SO FUN AAAAAAAAAHHH

ok so! wow! 200! youre giving me too much power istg im feeling ✨important✨

oh btw here is my intro post

soooo how is this gonna work??? basically u have all these lil red (cause in this blog we stan red) emojis and each one has a meaning! by sending them in an ask (to me ofc lol) you'll get smt! which is basically how every other event usually works lmao

also pls dont just put the emoji, specify what u want lmao

OK HERE WE GOOOO

★•.☆ index ☆.•★

❤️ - therapist moment -> spill the tea bestie tell me your dilemmas and ill try to help u out

🥀 - smol art commissions (keep in mind im not the greatest artist bbut im inda in an art block so ill try everything!) these may take 1-2 weeks max, no nsfw or lot of gore, and mostly not very complex pieces lol (u can choose the medium btw)

☎️ - smol writing commissons! same as before, not more than 3k (idk whats the point rlly but im on block and ive seen ppl do it so ill give it a try)

🍉 - collage board! can be either for you, a character, a song, whatever u want youll just need to specify it :)

🍓 - playlist!! give me a genre and a theme and voila ill make u a playlist

💥 - mAmMA MiAaaAA -> i teach u italian✨ idk this was rlly random but y not?

💃🏻 - free compliments~ ill get u cheered up

🌹 - ill have my old grandma moment, take a seat, get some hot chocolate or some tea or whatever, some cookies and ill tell u about my life :D (maybe specify which kind of story u want? like TELL ME OF WHEN YOU WERE A COMPLETE IDIOT IN FORNT OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE👹 that works well)

🎁 - ash the chef™️ aka i share with u my precious recipes (another very random one but i got back into baking lately soooo why not lol)

🧧 - 3.40 minutes -> u get ONE song for a veeeery specific feeling/moment/situation/ etc etc just specify and the sporacle (spotify-oracle ahahah im so funny ik) shall answer you

👠 - the poetrist aka a variation of writing commissions but on poetry (its more fun if u give me lots of specifcs lol)

🍄 - fandoms 101 -> do you want to get into a fandom? have you seen a fandom which seems really cool but you have no idea on hwere to start or how? call the 13-fire-but-ashes-too-13 (or: my ask box) and get yourself a new fandom to cry over! (this only applies to things im in lmao)

🧣 - idk guys im out of ideas but i wanted the 13 thingies so this is extra, just do watever you want, run free my dears

AHHHHHH OK OK IM GONNA GO NOW SPAM ALL U WANT AND DRINK WATERRRRRRRR

bye :p

[deaths]

you really gotta stop answering anon hate dawg im saying ths from a place of love. i think you think its funny to clapback or watever but its really counterproductive to engage these people like theyre doing it for YOUR attention and YOUR reaction and no form of attention or reaction you give them is going to own them hard enough to make them stop

yeah youre right, i think im just not in a great mental state lately and it just flares up the part of my brain that wants stimulation and attention

[ssozo]

when i say im self inserting i literally mean im taking this girls spot idgaf i could be more compelling . discussion of a noa episode below, mentions for drug usage, and implied assault etc. this is me processing trauma ok

theres an episode where tony and his ladyfriend get held hostage in a hospital by drug addicts trying to get at the drugs their dead friend left in his body or watever and idk it fucked with me in a brain way and now i have a noa-centric episode idea anyway heres how it goes

noa, from his first introduction, is portayed as a rebellious punk type person with no respect for authority. openly challenges people, starts debates, critiques society. he stays out late, he drinks, he does drugs. hes a walking stereotype.

but as tony and the audience get to know him, the walls come down and you get to see his sweet side. he cares deeply for people. hes kind when it matters. he loves learning, loves nature and animals. he doesnt stop being jaded and unpleasant at times, but as he gets closer to tony and explains himself more through small moments you begin to sympathize with him.

at this point in this series, though, noa is still very much partying and doing hard drugs and being a wreck. and its progressively getting worse. by the time this episode rises, its something that tony has commented on and tried to steer noa away from, because he cares for the guy (maybe even loves him 👀)

it starts with tony being asleep at his apartment when he hears a loud bang at his front door. he goes over there, armed and freaking out because its like 3am who the fuck is at his door, and then he opens it- to noa. noa looks up at him with plainitive eyes, clearly disheveled with tear tracks and bruises. cut to opening credits.

when commercial break ends, we're brought to tony handing noa a cup of coffee while he sits on his couch, wrapped in a blanket. noa's clearly been out all night- hes wearing smudged glittery makeup in heels and ravewear. tony asks him if hes okay, and noa looks at him again. his eyes are glassy and distant and he's very clearly still out of it and high. he sips from the coffee without thinking, then instantly recoils from the black bitter taste.

wait fuck i need to make this into an actual script

[my-bipolar-journal]

5th march 2023

hlo g, meri acc ki tyari chl rhi h. not so well though. watching a lot of movies. well so stuff happened. i and jassa fought he said sorry. then we fought again, then he says i forwarded them nudes he sent me of seerat to sm1 which i did not, but apparently kamal has somehow sent that pic to some guy who sent to some girl who sent to seerat who sent to ekam who sent to jassa. and it's exhausting , im not even going to try to prove myself to anyone. well also like ive been frustrated for a few days n apparently when kamal had come home 2 days ago i was like waiting for her to leave coz no social battery these days. and then this sound started in my locality so i tracked it down to go ask them to reduce it coz i have been acting hella crazy this week. i am tired, exhausted , frustrated and sick to my stomach coz i just feel like sleeping a lot lately like wtf

umm well watever im going crazy, ppl are driving me crazy. trisha's gift will come tmrow.

ps- i got money for making macroni and pulao. lucky me

[zeasan]

KKHTA: Remake - (Chapter 2 - 3)

Was gonna drop this in new years, but i guess was late ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ anyways heres 2 and 3. Shouldve posted an update on 2 since it came waaay earlier than 3 did but watevs. I will be making a comic version of the remake on my YT

If anyone interested in that, wait for any update on the comic. if i can, for every 3 or 2 chapters i will upload 1 episode, though time will tell if i could fill that quota

[centipeeing]

firstly,your art is very cute,love your style. secondly,i need to know your list of most fucked up asutai and ranwan kinks/aus whatever......

you'r the only one who understand them on galaxy mind level. share your wisdom

uwaaa thank you for liking my art... ive been unconfident in my style lately so that means a lot!!

to be honest... I feel like I'm pretty vanilla when it comes to my own headcanons... despite being "problematic" or watever I think I'm pretty uncreative?!?!

also u kno ranwan and asutai are like the same dynamic the same pairing basically the same people!! its !! this conspiracy!! it drives me mad!!!!!!!

for ranwan I think it goes

baby trapping LMAO I THINK I LIKE THE IDEA OF CWN BABY TRAPPING MO RAN MORE SO THAN MO RAN DOING IT because I think mo ran would straight up just say he is going to pregante cwn's guzzy in the heat of the moment (and then actually shoot his load as deep as possible), while cwn would assume that mo ran has no interest in him as a partner and as a lover beyond physical touch so he would allow mo ran to take what he will until he is discarded and the moment that happens cwn will poke a damn hole in the condom (does sisheng peak have access to ancient chinese condoms) and take as many fertility medicines as possible to make the last lay count... then he would straight up never tell mo ran about it and just have a part of mo ran with him always even when he thinks mo ran wants nothing to do with him also i very specifically like this idea in mob boss txj AU.... did you read that mob boss fic where cwn owes txj 10mil yuan and hes like "if u get pregnant i might forgive your debt" that destroys my mental every time I think about it

age reversal with mo ran being the creepy predator shizun... EVEN IF IT ISNT NSFW FIC if someone writes shizun mo ran RESTRAINING HIMSELF from touching his PURE AND PERFECT DISCIPLE it makes me go sooooooo crazy... mo ran normalizing in cwn the idea of dating your extremely older shizun and it is totally normal to sleep in the same bed as your disciples yeah

did you read Cimmerian?? all of that... all of that is my ideal ranwan please read it. it changed my brain composition and made me crazy... I AM NOT EVEN INTO LIKE idk how to describe what that was... I guess "corruption" I am actually not a fan of corruption type AUs at all but it wasn't the typical type of corruption I JUST LOVE WHEN CWNS LOVE AND HIS NEED FOR LOVE AND AFFECTION AND VALIDATION FROM THE ONE PERSON HE CARES ABOUT OVERRIDES HIS MORALS AND EVERYTHING HE HAS WORKED FOR TO IMPROVE OTHERS LIVES LMAO. That is my favorite part of CWN... THE CWN WHO LOVES TAXIAN-JUN!! He forgives so much of what taxian-jun does because hes a bleeding heart despite being the great beidou immortal whom so many look to for safety and protection and i just became so obsessed with ranwan when he just decides that the one thing he wants in the world won't be taken from him again and he'd rather die with txj than to keep living to protect sisheng peak and the whole cultivation world??????????

SORRY THIS LIST IS KIND OF BORING!! IT ISNT DEGEN OR ULTRA PROBLEMATIC BECAUSE IM TRULY A SHAM!!!!!!!!!

Ok for Asutai its kind of harder to think of what is my favorite kink or AU since its all scattered... and there are rarely any good fic that get me going?

I think i just really love shota Taishakuten AU the MOST.. THERE WAS THIS FIC where Asura kidnaps child Taishakuten and raises him on the battlefield instead of letting him live with his family. He teaches him war tactics and gives him love and affection because Asura wants to change the outcome of Taishakutens fate, thinking that taking him away from the poison that is the Deca and his shitty dad/brothers who hate him. but he basically grooms him and taishakuten falls in love with asura and they eventually fuck drunk but taishakuten like k-words himself in the end and the cycle continues because Asura was just using an illusion realm to torture himself for not being able to save taishakuten it hurt me so much

Ok me and my friend have this AU about asutai where Asura is a broke college student who cant pay for his own tuition. Taishakuten is a rich ass guy working for Deca corp or whatever you would call it... and he becomes so obsessed with Asura he offers to pay for his tuition and literally becomes his sugar daddy full time. Taishakuten probably wouldn't be happy with how often Asura has to be away from him and plus the deca dump a shit ton of work on him, also he probably sees Asura making friends at some point and gets insanely jealous of that and cannot allow it AT ALL!!!!!!!!!! So Taishakuten would burn down Asura's campus so there are no in person classes and all classes are moved remote but Asura doesn't have a laptop or a quiet area for it so hes forced to move in with Taishakuten so now Taishakuten has him all for himself. Ok not problematic but when I am feeling down I think about this AU and it brings a smile to my face

Just in general for both of them... I am into the unhealthy levels of jealousy they would have for the other when they see their babygirls interacting with anyone that isn't them. I have BPD so I gotta channel that amount of psychotic energy into mo ran or cwn or taishakuten (asura doesnt have the capacity to be jealous hes too good) because they 100% would try to ruin someones life WHETHER OR NOT IT IS INTENTIONAL just to get the others attention back ON THEM!!!