#im more than someone to pick apart and judge and i do not deserve this shit at all. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kaepopsicle · 4 years

Text

nct mbti types redo!

the old one can be found here! but i definitely recommend this one more tehe!

🧃

hi hi! so i know most of you know about mbti or myers briggs personality, if you don’t well. . here’s a little summary! if you already do know go ahead and scroll down past the keep reading to find ncts types! now for those that don’t and want to know it’s basically when you take this quiz and you get four/five letters, each giving you a detailed description of your personality! it helps you find other people with the same personality and people you are compatible or not compatible with! of course it is all just for fun! but i know some people take it seriously! do whatever feels right to you! so moving on to the different letters; there are 4 different letters you can get! which leads to about 16 different outcomes! (there are also 2 extra letters! A & T which are basically the outlook on yourself! but not that many people actually go by those!)

- first there’s E & I (extrovert & introvert) this is basically what your energy level is. E- you get energized by people and are more social. I- you get drained by people and are more homebodies.

- second there’s N & S (intuitive & sensing) this is basically how you understand or learn about other people! N- you base off of your gut feeling or instincts when you first meet someone! more observant! S- you are more logical, analytical, you get to know people a little first before you decide!

- third there’s F & T (feeling & thinking) this is basically what it says! how do you respond to problems! F- you think with your heart! more empathetic and emotional! T- you think with your head! more logical and emotionally intelligent!

- fourth and last one there’s P & J (perceiving & judging) and this is basically on how you prefer to live your everyday life! P- more spontaneous go with the flow! you don’t like schedules very much and tend to go with your gut on things! J- more neat, more punctual! you like routine and for things to go as planned!

also! you can be a mix of these! (for example i am an enfp/infp! so am an mix of extroverted & introverted!) you can pick one that resonates with you most or if they both do go by both!

well that should be all of it! if you want to take the quiz then you can find it right here! now that you know a little bit about what it is! let’s get into what ncts types are! i split them up between the two biggest differences which are introverts vs extroverts! :))

— introverts

confirmed types: infj . isfj . isfp . infp

other introverted types: intj . istj . istp . intp

🧃

- infj

members that are confirmed infjs:

ten . jungwoo . mark . hendery . winwin . half jisung

members i also think are infjs:

no one else

common traits include: creative . empathetic . friendly . intelligent . private . overthinkers . artistic!

most compatible with: enfp!!!! . infp . enfj . other infj

our most popular type! (which is great bc it’s my natural partner ;)) infjs or also know as the advocates are highly artistic and creative people! they appear at first to be very quiet and sensitive! but when actually they’re quite intelligent and are observant, peaceful, friendly people!

“With their strong sense of intuition and emotional understanding, INFJs can be soft-spoken and empathetic. This does not mean that they are push-over's, however. They have deeply held beliefs and an ability to act decisively in order to get what they want. While they are introverted by nature, people with this personality type are able to form strong, meaningful connections with other people. They enjoy helping others, but they also need time and space to recharge. While this personality type may be characterized by idealism, this does not mean that INFJs see the world through rose-colored glasses. They understand the world, both the good and the bad, and hope to be able to make it better.”

🧃

- isfj

members that are confirmed isfjs:

doyoung . jaemin

members i think that are also isfjs:

yuta . half johnny

‎

common traits include: protective . compassionate . sees the good in others . sensitives with others emotions . warm hearted

most compatible with: esfp!!!! . estp . istj . & other isfj

this type is one of my personal favorites! the defenders! they are the type of people who will have you walk on the inner side of the sidewalk! they may seem a little cold at first but once they trust and open up to you they are so warm! and loyal! very puppy like!

“They typically want to work hard, get along with others, and make sure they do what is expected of them. ISFJs value relationships highly and strive to cooperate and maintain harmony with others. They want stability and longevity in their relationships, and tend to maintain a deep devotion to family. They feel most connected with people they know they can rely upon over the long term. ISFJs appreciate tradition and like knowing how things were done in the past. They are loyal to established methods and values, and want to observe the proper, accepted way of doing things. They place great importance on fitting in with established institutions and contributing what they can to maintain strong, stable social structures. In groups, they often take on the role of historian, ensuring that new members respect and value the established customs.”

🧃

- isfp

members that are confirmed isfps:

taeil . jeno

members i think that are also isfps:

shotaro

common traits include: independent . imaginative . creative . passionate

most compatible with: esfj!!!! . esfp . isfj . other isfp

the next type is the adventurers! they are curious and passionate people that are very drawn to the outside world and helping others! they are gentle and sweet :)

“ISFPs are gentle caretakers who live in the present moment and enjoy their surroundings with cheerful, low-key enthusiasm. They are flexible and spontaneous, and like to go with the flow to enjoy what life has to offer. ISFPs are quiet and unassuming, and may be hard to get to know. However, to those who know them well, the ISFP is warm and friendly, eager to share in life's many experiences. ISFPs have a strong aesthetic sense and seek out beauty in their surroundings. They are attuned to sensory experience, and often have a natural talent for the arts. ISFPs especially excel at manipulating objects, and may wield creative tools like paintbrushes and sculptor's knives with great mastery.”

🧃

- infp

members that are confirmed infps:

chenle . half jisung

members i think that are also infps:

taeyong

common traits include: peaceful . idealistic . open minded . seek harmony

most compatible with: enfj!!!! . enfp . infj . other infp

the next type are the mediators! i love this type (not only bc im half this type) but bc this type is really the most pure and deserves the entire world. they are curious and flexible people!

“Mediator personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, Mediators have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for the Mediator personality type – but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.”

🧃

- istp

members who are confirmed istps:

none of them

members who i think are istps:

renjun

common traits include: practical . creative . rational . spontaneous

most compatible with: entp!!!! . estj . intp . other istp

these are the virtuosos! this type are relaxed! very down to the grown, they are the type of people you want to have during an crisis, they are good at calling the shots and keeping everyone calm!

“Virtuosos love to explore with their hands and their eyes, touching and examining the world around them with cool rationalism and spirited curiosity. People with this personality type are natural Makers, moving from project to project, building the useful and the superfluous for the fun of it, and learning from their environment as they go. Often mechanics and engineers, Virtuosos find no greater joy than in getting their hands dirty pulling things apart and putting them back together, just a little bit better than they were before.”

— extroverts

confirmed types: enfp . esfj . esfp . estp

other extroverted types: entp . enfj . estj . entj

🧃

- enfp

members who are confirmed enfps:

xiaojun . haechan

members who i think are also enfps:

no one else

common traits: energetic . fun . kind . very popular & friendly

most compatible with: infj!!!! . infp . enfj . other enfp

these are the campaigners! (my other personality type) these types are the kind of people you want to be friends with, they keep the energy happy and fun, but also know how to listen and relax

“Campaigners will bring an energy that oftentimes thrusts them into the spotlight, held up by their peers as a leader and a guru – but this isn’t always where independence-loving Campaigners want to be. Worse still if they find themselves beset by the administrative tasks and routine maintenance that can accompany a leadership position. Campaigners’ self-esteem is dependent on their ability to come up with original solutions, and they need to know that they have the freedom to be innovative – they can quickly lose patience or become dejected if they get trapped in a boring role.”

🧃

- esfp

members that are confirmed esfp:

half jaehyun

members who i think are also esfp:

lucas

common traits include: bold . aesthetic . confident . inclusive

most compatible with: isfp!!!! . isfj . esfj . other esfp

this type are known as the entertainers! the whole world is their stage! these people are not only eye catching and well entertaining, they are sweet and have good sportsmanship!

“Entertainers love the spotlight, and all the world’s a stage. Many famous people with the Entertainer personality type are indeed actors, but they love putting on a show for their friends too, chatting with a unique and earthy wit, soaking up attention and making every outing feel a bit like a party. Utterly social, Entertainers enjoy the simplest things, and there’s no greater joy for them than just having fun with a good group of friends. Though it may not always seem like it, Entertainers know that it’s not all about them – they are observant, and very sensitive to others’ emotions. People with this personality type are often the first to help someone talk out a challenging problem, happily providing emotional support and practical advice.”

‎

🧃

- esfj

members that are confirmed esfj:

kun

members who i think are also esfj:

half johnny

common traits include: supportive . encouraging . caring . positive

most compatible with: isfj!!!! . isfp . esfp . other esfj

this next type are called the consuls! known for their very parent like demeanors, these are what you call your “mom/dad friends” the ones that will give you the best advice and always be a shoulder to lay on and always cheer you on at your worst!

“People who share the Consul personality type are, for lack of a better word, popular – which makes sense, given that it is also a very common personality type, making up twelve percent of the population. In high school, Consuls are the cheerleaders and the quarterbacks, setting the tone, taking the spotlight and leading their teams forward to victory and fame. Later in life, Consuls continue to enjoy supporting their friends and loved ones, organizing social gatherings and doing their best to make sure everyone is happy.”

‎

🧃

- estp

members that are confirmed estp:

half jaehyun . sungchan

members who i think are also estp:

no one else

common traits include: social . perceptive . original . direct

most compatible with: intp!!!! . istp . entp . other estp

these are the entrepreneurs! the people that know what they want in life and will and have the stamina to do so, they are natural born leaders and enjoy calling the shots! and expressing their big ideas!

“Entrepreneurs always have an impact on their immediate surroundings – the best way to spot them at a party is to look for the whirling eddy of people flitting about them as they move from group to group. Laughing and entertaining with a blunt and earthy humor, Entrepreneur personalities love to be the center of attention. If an audience member is asked to come on stage, Entrepreneurs volunteer – or volunteer a shy friend.”

‎

🧃

- entp

members that are confirmed entp:

none

members who i think are entp:

yangyang

common traits include: quick thinkers . knowledgeable . charismatic . energetic

most compatible with: isfp!!!! . intp . esfj . other entps

the last type we will be talking about are known as the debaters! this type are the kind that could go for hours discussing important topics to them! they are quick witted, and are good at coming up with things on their feet. intelligent and resourceful, these types make excellent lawyers

“No one loves the process of mental sparring more than the Debater personality type, as it gives them a chance to exercise their effortlessly quick wit, broad accumulated knowledge base, and capacity for connecting disparate ideas to prove their points. Debaters are the ultimate devil’s advocate, thriving on the process of shredding arguments and beliefs and letting the ribbons drift in the wind for all to see. They don’t always do this because they are trying to achieve some deeper purpose or strategic goal, though. Sometimes it’s for the simple reason that it’s fun.”

‎

🧃

- wowowowubsy, this was a really long post! thanks for making it to the end! what do you think about their types and do you have any other ideas what types the remaining mystery members are? thank you so much for reading! :)

- my thoughts are that there is not a single introverted thinker on this whole team! (renjun i have hope in you!)

- and the fact there are only 1.5 confirmed thinkers in an group of 23- how do they manage ???

- sorry sungchan & jae

- they really are a bunch of introverted feelers goodness gracious

- also literally my pictures ran out half way through it and it won’t let me delete them lmao so sorry about that

‎

74 notes · View notes

seraphsurvival · 3 years

Text

episode 1: 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙨 𝙖 𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙜

having completed all their challenges for week one it is time for the angels to face the music. with their votes in and team performances judged their final rankings decide who will continue on to become apart of 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇. will your favourite angel soar high or will they fall from grace ?

* note that indented + italic text like this means it is confessional footage *

the iconic seraph intro music played as the cameras focused on the show hosts nova and yen.

“good evening everyone and welcome to...” nova began before yen joined in “seraph!” they chorused.

“this week was a tough first week for our angels.” yen began before looking over at nova who enthusiastically nodded along . “they had 2 challenges to complete: the iconic angel song and a group performance.”

“having to juggle solo performances and group work proved to be quite difficult for some of our angels. both groups had their share of mishaps...” behind nova clips of the angels in their confessionals in tears or looking stressed covered the screen further proving her statement.

“but despite all of this we saw some amazing performances.” nova grinned as she turned back to all the angels on the platform behind her.

“judges, what do you think of our angels this week? who stood out the most to you?” yen questioned turning all focus to the panel of judges.

“i thought this week was fun, we got to see a different side to the angels usual concepts,” hyuna spoke first , making sunmi and j-hope nod along with her. “i personally really enjoyed ricky’s performance, it was so fun to watch. her expressions made it that much more entertaining.��

the camera focused on ricky as she bowed at the praise. her features stretched out in a bright smile as chloe squeezed her hand beside her happy for her new best friend.

“i think mine was yuri’s performance of ‘GOTTA GO’. she surprised me in a good way. i was not expecting her to stand out the way she did but i’m glad she did. i’m proud of her.” sunmi answered.

on stage yuri visibly blushed as she repeatedly bowed. her soft ‘thank you’ making sunmi smile sweetly.

“hmmm all the angels were truly excelled this week ,” j-hope chuckled , resting his head on his hand. “none of the performances were boring. did some have room for growth in technique terms? of course, but pretty much everyone performed well.”

“yeah, yeah, yeah. who was your favourite?” hyuna jokingly pushed making everyone laugh.

“if i had to pick i think my favourite would be summer’s cover of ‘DARE’. her lines were clean and moves sharp. it was great to see her do a much darker concept. you can tell why she is where she is.”

summer nodded happily as a response to j-hope’s comments. she had always been a huge fan of BTS and it took everything within her not to fangirl hearing her idol praise her for her performance.

“what about the groups what did you think?” nova questioned once again.

the judges shared a look with each other before hyuna leaned into her mic, “honestly group one really surprised us this week. im really impressed with their performance of ‘FAKE LOVE’.” the idol leaned forward to be in her fellow judge’s line of sight. “j-hope, was it up to standard?”

“it was definitely up to standard they really destroyed the performance. i feel honoured truly.” he chuckled

the entirety of group one laughed at his comment. each of the angels thanking him in their own regard, their pride evident in their faces the entire time. in juxtaposition the camera pans to team two who’s faces look less than impressed with

“overall, i’d say everyone did great today, yes there is definitely room for improvement but and i don’t think i’d be wrong if i said all us judges are proud of every single one of the angels on a successful first week,” sunmi concluded. hyuna and j-hope hummed in agreement and nodded along to every word she said. she sent the angels a reassuring thumbs up to try soothe the obvious nerves of all the angels on stage.

incase you missed it !

[ WATCH SOLO PERFORMANCES — HERE ]

[ WATCH GROUP PERFORMANCES — HERE ]

the lights dimmed as the entire mood of the studio shifted.

“even though all our angels deserve to soar high sadly for one angel their wings will be cut.” nova spoke, her serious tone emphasizing the tension in the studio.

“before we show the results here’s a refresher on how voting works: you have been voting all week for your favourite angel and those votes contribute 50 points each. these points are added to the group points.” she looked over at yen to signal her to say her next lines.

“but today’s episode has a special twist,” yen turned to the camera with a pause. “two angels will be going home today.” behind the hosts the angels heads snapped up in panic. none of them were aware of the double elimination.

“the first will be the angel with the lowest rank from the losing team, and the other will be the angel with the lowest overall ranking, even if she’s part of the winning team she’ll leave the show today.”

the silence in the studio was deafening. none of the angels dared say a word as they waited in anticipation for the results. the angels stood in the groups as they linked hands to give each other support.

“without further ado, let’s see the results.” nova spoke directing everyone’s eyes to the screen where everyone’s rankings were plastered.

𝙎𝙀𝙍𝘼𝙋𝙃 𝙒��𝙀𝙆 𝙊𝙉𝙀 : 𝙁𝙄𝙉𝘼𝙇 𝙍𝘼𝙉𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂

* every member of group 1 gets 350 points for placing first and every member of group 2 gets 250 points for placing last *

BAEBI - 1450 ( @whileinvenus )

YURI - 1300 ( @cube-vivid )

SUMMER - 1150 ( @se4sonz )

MIMI - 900 ( @inter-stellar-jyp )

RICKY - 850 ( @unholiied )

HAEJU - 800 ( @hcney-moon )

CHLOE - 800 ( @chloekwon )

EDEN - 750 ( @inter-stellar-jyp )

JADE - 750 ( @nct-krown )

AME - 700 ( @triptychexe )

DAHLIA - 650 ( @d3adfl0wers )

JAY - 500 ( @dulcetgg )

yuri brought her hands to her mouth, frozen in shock.

“i was not expecting to make it another week honestly,” she spoke in disbelief. “after being outshined by ricky all week, i thought it was over but here i am!” she giggled covering her mouth to hide the broad smile taking over her features.

baebi hugged her excitedly. her smile not only reflecting her pride in yuri’s high rank but also her own first place rank. pushing aside her dissatisfaction with their team losing she still was proud of what they’d done.

the same positivity was not felt as dahlia and jade saw the score board. as their team came last they knew someone was in jeopardy of going home but neither of them would’ve guessed it would be dahlia.

frozen in shock jade turned to dahlia who’s hand had flown up to her mouth as her eyes welled up. jade made quick movement to comfort dahlia before she fully broke down.

“don’t let them see you cry you know this says nothing about your talent or potential.” she whispered into dahlia’s ear. the older girl nodded along with jade’s words as she took deep breaths. as much as she was balanced now it still didn’t feel fair.

“dahlia doesn’t deserve this. she is one of the most talented girls here.” jade folded her arms as she turned her head to the side. “i can’t believe dahlia is gone and voice crack ricky is in the top 5. it doesn’t feel right.”

on the other team the girls huddle in an excited hug at their teams first place ranking. their teams ranking is what saved ame that week and she knew it. she had the second lowest rank of her team aside from jay who unfortunately had the least votes that week overall.

“at least some people voted for me”, she spoke to the camera as she let out a sigh. “i’ll just have to work extra hard next week,” she nodded as she encourage herself, trying her best to maintain the smile on her face no matter what.

in contrast to the rest of the girls , jay couldn’t keep her facade up. despite the positive energy around her she couldn’t stop the silent sobs that left her. she didn’t want her journey to end so abruptly, she deserved to stay longer mimi hanged her tightly as she let the taller girl cry into her shoulder. her eyes glossed over along with jays as she knew she was going to miss her, jay was one of the girls she’d grown closest to besides eden.

“i’m obviously going to miss jay,” mimi spoke softly wiping away at her tears. “she’s so talented i’m so sad to see her go. this week didn’t showcase her charms to the fullest,” she shook her head sadly as she sniffled.

the two eliminated girls took a step forward standing center stage as the judges said their last words.

“dahlia, how are you feeling?” nova asked as her teammates lovingly rubbed her back.

taking a deep breath dahlia spoke into the mic that was handed to her. “i’m obviously disappointed. our group didn’t go as planned and i just feel like i didn’t get to fully showcase what i’m capable of.” she sniffles loudly towards the end as she tried her best to hold in her tears.

“dahlia, you’re a talented girl. it's sad because it really felt as if you didn’t know why you were here, i couldn’t feel your passion and you need that to sell a performance.” sunmi spoke her eyebrows furrowed and lips downturned.

dahlia nodded, a sad tight lipped smile on her features as she handed to mic back. she was so focused on the rest of the team not messing up as well as feeling cheated out of the roll of main vocalist played against her. and it was too late to try again all she could do is find the spark that once lit a flame of passion in her and try again outside the show.

“jay,” j-hope sighed as the tall girl bowed her head unable to even look at the judges. “it’s sad seeing you go,” he admitted with a pout. “but i think it’s because you just haven’t found your sparkle yet and i think that’s something you have to do outside of ‘seraph’. but don’t give up and keep up the good work , and I’m sure you’ll be the next big thing.” all jay could do was nod, even having been handed the mic she couldn’t speak a word.

the focus shifted from the bottom 2 girls to ame who although safe still looked as distraught as the other angels.

“ame, you were so close to the bottom this week,” hyuna pointed out to which ame nodded her face sullen and disappointed. “you got lucky tonight but don’t let your guard down,” she pointed at the girl, giving her a knowing look. “something needs to change or you’ll be the next to say goodbye.” she warned. ame nodded once again taking a respectful bow.

the cameras focused back on the two hosts as the girls regrouped behind them.

the two girls descended the platform. dahlia wrapped her arm around jay as she still sobbed uncontrollably. the two made their way off stage waving to the remaining angels before exiting the studio completely and making their way to the dorms to pack up their belongings.

“it’s always sad to see and angel take off, especially so early in the show,” yen sighed sadly. nova hummed in agreement,” but sadly that’s how the show goes.”

“but let’s not focus on only the negatives but some positives. ladies and gentlemen give it up for our remaining 10 angels!” nova cheered making the studio erupt in excited claps and cheers. “congratulations girls you’ve made the top 10 out of hundreds of applicants!” the girls cheered once again as their moods lifted a significant amount compared to the somber mood earlier.

“that’s it for this episode! stay tuned to see how the angels spread their wings and soar through weekly challenges and compete to be a part of the ultimate super group !” yen ran over her signature closing line once again, sharing a sweet smile with her cohost

“thanks to everyone who participated and we’ll see you next week !” nova chimed in mirroring yen’s bright smile.

“goodbye !” they chorused as the 2 hosts waved at the camera before it zoomed out to focus on everyone in the studio.

*results below ! *

#[ 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇 ] : ゝ ʚ fly me to the moon ɞ #bbkoc #aeskocnet #kpop idol oc #idol!au #idol!oc #oc kpop idol #kpop idol au #kpop addition #idol au

34 notes · View notes

justoneday-namjoonii · 4 years

Text

jk!mafia drabble #2 | it burns, doesn’t it?

⇁ [anon request]: Im a sucker for the petty angsttt, can you write more about JK & Jiyoon 👀 like, Y/N finds out more stuff about them. 👀👀 its all up to you, anything you write is a masterpiece💜

series: 18/? - It burns, doesn’t it? pairing: Jungkook x reader author’s note: this is a mess but enjoy! thank u for requesting, I got a little creative, I think my recent Taehyung obsession is showing 👀 lol warnings: idk what this is tbh lol, major manipulator themes, slut-shaming (idk kind of not sure if it qualifies but I thought I’d warn you anyway), speculated infidelity, might be triggering to some proceed with caution

You sit across from him at the diner booth, eyes are narrowed at the scrambled eggs greasy bacon. You don't want it.

"Eat a little," Jungkook takes a bite of his bacon, "it's not bad."

"I'm good," You shake your head, insistent on satisfying yourself with the small bowl of grapes. He glances out of the window, not wanting to upset you today, he wants to start the day off right. He offered to take you out of the house for breakfast and you were fine with it. Maybe you two can finally go back to hw things used to be, when the love was young and sweet on the tongue. It’s still sweet, but it’s grown far more complex than what was initially expected. These days, trust is something you have to remind yourself that you need in order to make this work. It’s tough, but you’re trying.

What Taehyung said keeps coming to your mind.

He is a lot of things, but he's not a liar.

***

You were in the garage trying to take the guns apart and put them back together. Jungkook showed you about five times before he left and made sure to take the bullets out so you could practice. You were laser-focused so you paid little attention to the person entering the garage.

"The slide is loose," The gun is lifted from your grasp swiftly, "and the barrel should be placed like this,"

Taehyung promptly puts your attempt to assemble the weapon to shame. When he places the gun on the table in front of you, it's apparent how much practice he's had doing this.

"If you tried to shoot that thing, it would blow your fucking face off."

You lower your head, shy hands picking up the firearm to dismantle it again.

"So, you convinced your daddy to let you play with his toys," He mocks, plundering through the drawers on the walls, "you're moving up, Y/n."

"Piss off," You grimace, resisting the urge to throw something at him, "it's not like that."

"It's just you and me here, everyone else went out for the night, but they should be back soon," He pulls up a chair to your little table and your stomach turns at the proximity.

"Then why are you here? Where's Hoseok?" You remain focused, taking the gun apart with calculated movements. "Why aren’t you with him..."

"I had to come back to get this," He shows you a box but not the contents inside, "didn't think you were still here, Jungkook said you were gonna go with him."

You stare down at the dismantled gun and then up at him. He recently changed his hair, it's out of his face and lighter, making his appearance less ominous than before. But you know better, his looks can't change who he is or what he's done to you. Yet, you sit across from him, choosing not to judge him for his sins. You've killed before, out of defense but you still did it. You don't deserve to be here but grace precedes you somehow—you're grateful.

"Somehow we keep getting the house to ourselves," He sighs, taking out his phone to tap on it mindlessly, "gives me time to get to know you."

"You already know enough about me," You turn the gun on the table, trying to put it back together with the last few steps, "I don't know much about you though."

"You want to?" He crooks a brow.

"Why not? Might as well," You shrug, it couldn't hurt to hear more about who he is. Maybe you'll better understand why he is the way he is, "for one, how did you get into torture?"

He sighs, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "I like to think of it as hands-on interrogation. I'm fascinated by the mind, how it can be manipulated to work against itself. I think it’s interesting to break someone down, to hear what I want to hear. If I do it right, they end up forming an attachment to me- Well, not me but to the persona that I choose to subdue them with, like you."

"I'm not attached to you," You frown, "you're mistaking be me being traumatized for submission..."

"It's the same to me, I get the result I want either way."

You are about halfway through assembling the gun but Taehyung suddenly takes it again, stirring frustration in your chest. You try to grab it back but he holds it out of your reach, "Give it back!-"

"Ah, ah," He waits for you to sit back, "I know something that you don't know about Jungkook," He says that like a child, "do you want to know what it is?"

"What're you talking about?"

"He and Jiyoon had a little run-in when you were gone, that night he was going through it. You've probably never seen him like that but it is a sight, I'll tell you that."

* * *

He moves his foot against yours, a grin on his lips that speak pages of what he’s thinking.

"So, I wanted to talk to you, about something," You swallow, dropping the grape back in the bowl.

"About something," He repeats in a cute little mocking tone, "about what beautiful?"

"Did you ever, I don't know...Blackout when we were separated?" You know that sounded pretty vague but he knows what you mean.

"Blackout?" He tilts his head, mentally he rakes through the countless lonely nights. "I might have had too much to drink on some nights, maybe...Why?"

"Because that's the only reason you would touch Jiyoon again...You wouldn't actually do that if you were conscious. I heard you were seen with her..."

"Why are you talking about her?" He frowns, sitting back in the booth.

"Taehyung told me you were on a downward spiral one night and you didn't come back until the next morning, were you with her?..."

* * *

"You have to admit, you're not what anyone would have thought he'd end up with. Jiyoon literally sleeps around as apart-time job, she's good at it so I don't know how you could compete with that and win."

You feel like you're decreasing the more he talks.

"He may not act like it now, but he was crazy about her years ago. I mean, she's beautiful, she worked for his lifestyle and they had a mutual understanding. When you came around, they had broken up with each other about a year prior, he got over her fast though."

“I know that..." You knew Jiyoon and Jungkook had a lot of history, but you made peace with it and you know he loves you.

"I ran into her after that night, she said he acted like you two weren't together anymore. He let her have it like he used to," He looks up at you, waiting for you to look him in the eye but you seem to diminish in size while avoiding eye contact, "that's what she claims."

"What do you mean?" You press your lips in a flat line.

"You know what I mean," He jeers, swiping a tongue over his bottom lip. "unless you really are that innocent, which I don’t think you are."

"He wouldn’t do that..."

"Well, it would make sense," He stands to his feet suddenly, gun still in hand as he paces around the table, "what did you expect? You were fucking with Jimin, it’s what you get."

"It wasn't like that!” You surprise yourself when your hear your raised tone of voice, “Jimin is a friend, that’s it, I wo"

"Maybe you were mad at Jungkook, and you might have just subconsciously tried to replace him. If you would lay down with Jimin, well I wouldn't be surprised if you wanted a piece of the others, that would be interesting," He is just being mean now, he knows that would never happen, not even if you wanted it, "or even me. You seem to drop everything for men who can protect you,"

"Shut up, you’re disgusting...I don’t want any of you like that. And even if I did, that part of my life is none of your fucking business.” You hiss, fists clenched tightly. “I wouldn’t do something like that/”

“Of course you haven’t done anything too crazy, what would Jungkook think about? If he still wanted you, he would probably take you in front of anyone he wanted just to prove a point-”

You sling your hand across his face with enough force to leave it burning. His cheek is bright red and you’re fuming. You look him dead in the eyes, "Fuck you."

“Shit, Y/n,” He genuinely laughs, setting the gun on the table so he can hold his burning cheek. "Jungkook can go off and do whatever the hell he wants but you? You don't have that luxury, he leaves you here for me to play with, and this is how you treat me? isn’t that just sad?"

"Shut up!" You pick up the gun and before you know it you're throwing it and it misses his face by a centimetre. "I'm in a twisted situation and you make it a hundred times worse. You torment me knowing Jungkook cares about me, you want me to hate him. You want him to hate me. The same crap you tell me, you probably tell to him too."

He takes a moment to think over his response before walking up to you slowly. Instinctively, you take a step back and stand firm.

"Ask him." He dares. "Ask Jungkook if he remembers what happened that night."

"I don't have to, I trust him." You want to disappear. You don’t believe what’s coming out of his mouth or yours.

"Okay, just know that I don’t blame you for wanting any other man...You were both lonely, Jungkook had his fair share fun while you were away too."

He’s messing with your head, that’s all he’s ever done to you.

Right?

113 notes · View notes

sastrugie · 4 years

Text

john entwistle biography review

ok so first: I didnt really like the biography because I thought it would focus on totally different aspects. John was a musical virtuoso and that hardly ever gets mentioned in the book. But we get exact axccounts on how much money he spent on what day and in which pub he bought which champagne. like wow thanks. The other personal stuff is basic who knowledge you can read in any other Who biography. His autobiographical bits were joy and fun! Maybe the only reason to buy the book in my opinion. He writes totally different than the author...

ANYWAYS: here my fav facts from the book that you probably didnt know before

this is the face of a man who -when his father gave him driving lessons for his 21st birthday as a present- decided driving wasnt really his thing and he spent the money on clothes and parties instead. He never had a drivers license ever and also never desired to have one

the hospital he was born in, was bombarded and destructed one day after his birth

as a child he was really weak and thin and had basically every disease that existed

his family was poor af

his father left the family early and held contact with his son, but soon disappeared with a new family

his stepdad, Gordon, disliked John alot and would ignore him, hated everything John did or said and he let his bad moods out on Johns mother, which caused John to be very silent and observative around the house so that there wouldnt be any trouble

he did everything to please Queenie (his mom) so that there was no fighting, according to Alison

loved drawing and playing but usually alone since he had no friends apart from their dog

he heard a trumpet solo once from a trad jazz band when he was 6 or so and decided he wanted to learn the trumpet

my fav line of the book probably: “despite his own expectations, he passed the exams to go to grammar school” like same

at school he was bullied from the older boys but soon left alone by them because he would fight back with badass comments

he applied for the school band for the trumpet but the tallest guy in the year was chosen (he was the 2nd tallest) which made John mad, but he discovered the french horn

soon he found a friend, mickey brown, at last and he gave him the nickname “ent”

he was so terrible in P.E that he was dismissed with other pupils to play somehwere else, they were called “the hockey misfits” and guess who was among them: Pete Townshend.

yeah as you might know they became besties because they loved music and black humour.

he found himself a gf (alison) and Pete & a school gang (like 4 ppl) and his life seemed to finally get where it should.

his worst subjects were geography and german like wow (im a german geography student lmao)

once they played in a pub and johns stepdad was there and was super angry and gave john a list with his fav pubs and told him “these are the places I never want to hear your fucking music playing”.

after walking home pete decided to switch the guitar and john wanted to become a musician more than ever

Roger found him and John kind of convinced him (it took months apparently) to get Pete into the band and then it all started

he judged the beatles because John Lennons harmonica was “out of tune” in love me do, wow ok you nerd

john started smoking with 20 and was the last one to quit his job for the band and he was against drugs at first (bc he had a “civilized” job) but then decided to give a shit, dyed his hair black, bought cigarettes, smoked dope with pete and did speed too

he wanted to step out of himself and feel good about himself and he was always a fashionnerd so he started buying and trading and selling clothes (he once was dismissed from school bc he wore the school uniform incorrectly)

with 18 or so he was still living at home, had a toy soldier collection and a pet budgie

pete and his college friends made fun of john bc he wasnt a student and still lived at home, although john could have gone to college too and he wanted to, but his stepdad again said no and he had no choice.

he was very awkward and introverted but could open up with his music

he was really into pop art (esp pop art clothes)

was a pseudo mod bc he only liked the fancy clothes and motown music

with the who he found a purpose in his life and finally could be different than ordinary ppl

hated when people touched his hair, he literally hated it

would fuss much about his hair in general

once after a concert they were starving and the room service was alreday home so they had to look on used plates and food wagons and John found a shrimp and said: “who wants to dine with me tonight?” (idk that really made me laugh)

keith moon was john entwistles soulmate and they were the cutest, most iconic and funniest duo ever end of discussion

his amps would soon be called little manhatten bc he had so many bc he wanted to be loud

he actually went to sing at church once when he was like 24 and the band made fun of him then he stopped

in the late 60s he bought a house with alison in a normal neighbourhood and went walking the dogs on sundays and stuff

but he was a party animal and always the last to go

he was really sensitive and cried often according to Alison but only in front of certain people

he would totally step out of his way to please people

when they played at the monterey pop festival they didnt bring their own amps along and john was furious bc he said the american amps are shit and kit was like “no” and john didnt talk to him for the whole festival until their perfomance was over and they had sounded like shit to tell kit “I TOLD YOU SO” thats how extra he was

when he got money he would spend it bc he was so used to being poor that he thought it wouldnt last long and he had to enjoy it NOW

he was always calm and everyone respected him and kit told a story where he entered the room and roger was at keiths throat and and pete was screaming something and john was sitting in the corner cleaning his nails. thats who energy

liked to dance at parties

his fav drink was rémy cognac with 40% and he would drink like 1 bottle alone everyday in his later years...wow dude

he was also gentlemanTM and once paid taxis for girls from london to brighton after a party

once at a wedding the free drinks were out and John just gave the barkeeper his creditcard and said he will pay for all the drinks of the night for everyone (it wasnt his wedding)

Roger once said: “John made smartass comments that deserved a punch in the face” sounds like him yes

he didnt really care about money and always wanted to pay and never told anyone how much things had cost and brought gifts for everyone

soon that ended in a shopping addiction tho and he bought ridiculous things for ridiculous amounts of money

when the who was inactive he sank into depression :(

held the band together during who by numbers & who are you

wrote and played all the quadrophenia horn parts himself

never lost his passion for art and always drawed alot, said Alison

cried when Christopher was born aww

once he saw their manager in an art museum and how he wanted to buy a painting but couldnt afford it, so John bought it secretly and shipped it to said managers home as a gift

We all know John was a huge collector. His most treasured collection was .. wait for it: teapots.

he tried to save Keith from being arrested once and ended up being arrested too lol

wanted to write a scifi concept album but desorted the idea and gave some songs to the who (905) or Pete

was a good cook apparently

When he gave a hug HE was the one who decided when to let go sdfghjk

hated confrontation and would hire other people to tell someone bad news

he spent so much money on dumb shit like wtf

but didnt really care either

probably the master in picking up and seducing girls

he let his stepdad live in the quarwood mansion when he wasnt there but Gordon was still an asshole wtf

the contact to his real dad was really sporadic

when the who ended, it hit him really hard and he didnt know what to do besides partying and buying stuff/hording stuff

was very insecure and selfconscious in the 80s according to Maxene :(

he actually took pete breaking up the who really personal and was sad 24/7

was that kind of guy that said bad stuff about the who but when you said bad stuff he would try to kill you on spot

with cocaine he felt really confident and still like the 60s/70s rockstar he once was but he didnt understand that these times were over and he needed to move on

sometimes went into random pubs with friends and made jam sessions for the guests

he still was generous and loving until he died and tried to play with other bands but it was not the same

he really liked Kenney and hung out with him more than with his wife at some point lmao

was a total giver and people who worked at quarwood would steal money from him but when someone pointed that out he got angry with that person for even suggesting that

was a real softieee (and a huge nerd)

all his friends said that he was shy at first but once you got to know him he would come totally out of himself, was very funny, loved to tell stories, was very very loyal and would try evertyhing to make you laugh aww

all in all a glorious story with a sad ending and he did destroy himself completely, but lets remember that Pete Townshend described old John still as "wonderful, mature and elegant” so lets cling on to that :)

#the who #John Entwistle #band #literature #the ox #mine #pete and rog didnt participate in the bio maybe thats why its hit #*shit #not hit #also you can see: no info about his musical inspiration or werdegang #can not recommend #althought this post might look fun these are the filtered cool stories from like 330 pages #classic rock

128 notes · View notes

rant-2-me · 3 years

Note

My mental state has just worsened over the days, though I'm not sure why, and I just feel so unmotivated and lacking any energy to practice any self care other than napping, and also feel anxious because I'm not studying enough.. feel like I'm just 1/4th assing my responsibilities.. And when someone asks me how I'm doing, sometimes I blurt out that I'm not fine, and the guilt I feel afterwards for making them worry, so I find myself withdrawing from initiating conversation with them, even though I really want to, and this makes them worry about me more.. I just don't know anything anymore, everything feels too much, yet I can't rant in a clear conscience without feeling guilty for bothering them, and thinking how I don't deserve to complain because they have had so much worse (yes I know pain is relative, but I feel so horrible, like a whiny child, who doesn't know how to be content with her blessings)......

Sorry I know it's a lot.. feel free to delete it if it's triggering or making you uncomfortable in any way... I just needed to get it out..

My lovely nonnie, im so, so glad you sent this ask. and got it all out of your system. yeah this sounds cheesy but like ive been there, with not knowing how to reach out—im proud you had the courage to send this ask. girlboss vibes.

also this ask took a while to answer and im so so sorry about that, but I didnt want to do anything less than the best for you, so let's just jump right in <[:)

Lacking motivation, god I've been there, but doing self care is super super important so here is a how-to, hon.

How to do selfcare when you’re not motivated to:

1. Be a little “gross.”

Gross is in quotes because it’s so subjective, but you undoubtedly have a few behaviors you consider kind of gross regardless. Now’s the time to do them without judgment. For me, that’s meant showering less, eating weird food combos (sometimes in bed), and letting my brows and mustache grow magnificently unruly. For you, it could mean doing something you normally judge yourself for or cutting back on activities you only do for the benefit of others. Now is not the time to allow “socially acceptable” behaviors to rule you.

2. Eat whatever the hell you want.

This should be a rule always, but I’m not going to pretend there aren’t societal, social, and personal pressures that go into why we eat what we eat. Try to shut down the voice that judges or polices what you’re eating right now. We’re in the middle of a goddamn pandemic. If dinner has to be some slices of cheese and deli meat eaten in front of the open fridge, so be it. If you have a lot of cravings and are snacking more than you normally would, cool. If pre-pandemic you decided you were going to stick to a certain meal plan and it’s just not happening anymore? Don’t beat yourself up.

Yes, what we eat is connected to our mental health, and I don’t want to discount that—but if the stress of eating healthfully is making you feel like crap anyway, whether that’s because you can’t fathom cooking or don’t have the means to shop for certain foods during isolation, just eat the sleeve of Oreos and try again another day. It’s okay.

3. And wear whatever you want.

Or, more realistically, wear whatever you can. Even if it means wearing the same ratty sweatpants for a whole week. Or month. Maybe you started all this out aspiring to get dressed every day to work from home productively, or maybe you have a whole collection of comfortable loungewear you feel guilty for not utilizing. Whatever arbitrary rules and expectations you’ve set for yourself, you can throw them out.

On the other hand, maybe you need to quiet the voice that tells you there’s no point in getting dressed or feeling presentable. If it helps, by all means, play with your look, wear awesome or weird outfits, do your hair and makeup or whatever activity might feel a little silly given your current reality. In the middle of a pandemic, nothing is a waste of time if it makes you feel good.

4. Use shortcuts to avoid creating chores.

In my first week or so of working entirely from home, I was baffled by just how messy my apartment got. How on earth were so many messes piling up when I wasn’t even doing anything but working, sleeping, and eating? I hadn’t realized it, but a lot of my small tidying routines had become casualties to the pandemic. And, it turns out, slacking on the little ways I pick up after myself every day (such as doing the dishes right after I use them) added up quickly.

Instead of forcing myself to stick to the same levels of tidiness that I used to maintain, I’ve found shortcuts. For example, I use paper plates and plastic cutlery when I feel too fatigued to wash dishes so they don’t sit in the sink for days on end. Or I stick to the same two “outfits” to avoid clothes piling up when I’m too depressed to put them away every day. If you can find a small way to go easy on yourself, even if it feels a little wasteful or indulgent or gross, it’s okay to tap into those shortcuts right now.

5. Be kind to yourself if your place is messy or dirty.

I won’t lie: I’m someone whose space impacts my mental health a lot. Typically, keeping my apartment clean helps keep my mental health in check and letting my apartment get gross makes me feel worse. That’s still true in a lot of ways, but to adapt I’ve been trying to be mindful and accepting of where I’m at. And it’s…helped?

It turns out that taking the pressure off does a lot to mitigate the guilt and some of the other negative mental health effects I usually experience. In practice, it involves a lot of talking to myself. Instead of seeing my apartment turning into a depression cave and immediately thinking, “Oh, God, I need to clean up, this is so disgusting, I’m a monster for living like this, of course I feel depressed,” I go for kindness. I think (or even say out loud because, well, desperate times), “Of course my apartment is a mess right now. I’ll get to it when I get to it. I can handle the mess for now.”

6. Accept your new sleep schedule.

idk anyone whose sleep hasn’t been screwed in some way by all of this. Anxiety, depression, fatigue, pent-up energy from sheltering in place, tech use, new work responsibilities, screwy schedules…pretty much every aspect of our new reality can impact our sleep. Some people are sleeping a lot more, some are sleeping a lot less, and some are cycling through both extremes. Oh, and the temptation of naps! It’s all there.

Trying to maintain a healthy sleep schedule during all of this is a worthy endeavor—and more power to you if you’ve figured out how—but there’s a good chance that it feels impossible.

By “accepting” your new sleep schedule, I don’t mean pretending it doesn’t suck; I mean doing what you can to be gentle on yourself about it. For me, acceptance has looked like watching some comfort tv and reading my favourite books at 2 a.m. instead of staying in bed and anxiety-spiraling about how I can’t sleep. Is it ideal? No way. But I’m not going to waste energy stressing about something I currently can’t control.

7. Give yourself plenty of room to do absolutely nothing.

I’ve given myself permission to do a whole lot of nothing. That includes getting rid of the pressure to be productive and practice self-care, yes, but in a broader sense, it also means not forcing myself to actively “adjust” every day.

Some days, I just need to do nothing but feel my feelings. Or avoid feeling my feelings. Or stare at the ceiling. Give yourself space to do (or not do) whatever you need to.

also, nonnie? my love?

Never feel guilty about telling someone who cares about you when you don’t feel okay.

People who genuinely care about you—and I’m sure they are many—will care if you aren’t feeling good, there are always going to be people who care about you, who want you to be okay, that’s why they ask, why people make rant, why “how are you?” is such a common question.

But if you do need to talk, but you feel like you’ll “burden” people who you do talk to, here’s a guide to ranting.

Guide to ranting:

1. Pick the right person. Someone who’s in the right headspace to listen to you, you could also pick someone who cares about you—if you’re anxiety tells you nobody cares about you, pick someone who “should” care about you in your relationship, e.g: a friend you’ve had for a long time, a friend who’s told a few of their problems, or friend you might not feel close with, but seems very kindhearted and a good listener.

2. Pick the right time to talk to them, so you can have their undivided attention. If they are busy—as most people will be with something—they’ll have a hard time giving you good advice and listening to you. Ask them when they are free, and then ask them:

3. “hey, can we talk? I’m not mad or you or anything, it’s just that I have been not feeling great, and I just want to rant to someone about it.” and “No pressure to say yes, you might have your own stuff to do deal with.” to make sure they are the right person to talk to.

4. It’s ok to test the waters. Start slowly, you don’t have to share everything at once if you don’t want to.

5. You never know how your friend will react to what you say.While you can’t know how they’ll react, just remember that sometimes people’s initial reactions may come from a place of shock, surprise or not knowing what to say. Their initial reaction isn’t always their longerterm reaction, it may just take them a little time to process.

6. Look for ways to take action. Don’t get me wrong, ranting can be amazing for you, but on its own may not solve your problem.

But maybe venting to people isn’t for you. No matter! There are other ways to get out emotions:

Ways to rant without talking to anyone

1. Cry it out— simple and rewarding. When the baggage is just too heavy to carry cry it out. It can help you ease the pressure and ease your mind to think straight after days of holding that frustration in.

2. Work out — easy and fun. tire yourself out and release all the frustration in working out! This is going to be so satisfying for you as you try and punch, kick, balance, lift, and breathe those frustrations away.

3. Clean & rearrange — practical and can be fun. we get frustrated by so many things and one thing that can truly help clear our minds is to have a clean place where we can stay and live for the moment to breathe. Clean your room, rearrange your things and you’ll be surprised by the satisfaction this brings — a signal of a new beginning.

4. Scribble — simple and fun. Make scribbles, doodles, drawings, take a pen or a pencil, and let go. It does not have to be “good” art or professional at all. Just draw whatever comes to heart, sunflowers or clouds or rainbows—anything.

5. Write it down — fun and simple. Let those words out of your head and just live in the moment.

How to fight the lack of motivation.

1. Don't fight the lack of motivation.

If you feel down or unable to muster tons of energy, let it be ok. Be easy on yourself and acknowledge that it's ok to have a dip, especially at this time of the year.

2. Once you have accepted your slump, get to the bottom of it.

Ask yourself, "What is the root cause of this sluggish feeling?" Go deeper than the obvious reasons. Is it related to work? Your personal life? Relationships? It might also just be the weather. Get clear on what areas of your life you're feeling the most resistance.

3. Dig into that area. What is not ideal about this aspect of your life? What would make it better?

Make a list of how you'd like your current situation to improve--and be specific. If you truly can't find a reason to be less than enthusiastic, then accept your feelings and let them pass with time.

4. Take your list of what is missing and go through it.

What is holding you back from being able to create the things that are missing in your life?

5. Get support for creating the life you want.

Do some research and find an expert to help you. Even though they love you, friends and family aren't objective enough, and they tend to give advice that is a reflection of their own life and insecurities.

6. Think of current habits that are contributing to a less-than-ideal life.

Maybe it's fear, laziness, or not having enough confidence. Pick one to focus on.

7. Address this habit over the next 2 months.

They say it takes 28 days to create a new habit, but this varies from person to person. If you focus on it for two months, you are sure to build the neural pathways needed to call it a new way of being.

8. Buy a book, read articles or do some research on this particular behavior or feeling.

Read about the common causes of this habit as well as the proven ways to bust through and work around it.

9. Create a plan around shifting your current habit.

Make sure that changing this habit ultimately helps you move forward in the area of your life that is not ideal. The energy from clarity, awareness and then action will immediately get you feeling more motivated, no matter what.

10. When all else fails: make a list of activities that excite you, and do one of them right now.

Talk to a fun friend, dance around at home, workout, watch a funny YouTube video, tackle something on your to-do list. Accomplishing something will give you a hit of dopamine in your brain. If you're too overwhelmed by your day, sit for five minutes and meditate. Put on some soothing music and breathe.

okay, that's all nonnie, I hope you feel the lust for life in your lungs, please have all my love, i hope this helped, this ask took a while, but it was worth if it helps

and if you need to dont worry to send another ask, if you like spam the inbox!! queen!!!

take care, much love my sweet honey, bye <3

—*putting daisies in your hair as they leave* mod peppermint <[:)

#mod peppermint #ask #anon #rant

2 notes · View notes

snakeboistan · 4 years

Text

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIOTA NAGISA

Thank you, Nagisa, for showing me that being kind and gentle doesn’t mean that you’re weak and also that the parts about you that you hate can be turned into your greatest weapon. You have been a role model for me for the past four years and I strive to be as wise and caring as you. Keep doing what you’re doing, you adorable little assassin, we’re all so very proud of you. 😍😊

Yes, I know that Nagisa’s birthday is during Summer break but shhhhh

(25 unread messages)

Akabane Karma: Hey there Nagi :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLUEBERRY! I can’t believe you are officially older than me. But don’t get your hopes up, just because you’re my elder, doesn’t mean that I will start listening to you. Just to show you how awesome I am, I decided to stay up late so that I can text you exactly at 00:00. But for real, I hope you have an awesome day and I promise to beat up anyone that ruins it for you ;) Nagisa, you are honestly the most amazing person I’ve ever met and you’re seriously like such a sweet and kind and honest and good person and I have no idea how someone as nice and forgiving as you ended up befriending someone as crazy and violent as me. You’re the only person who's never been scared of me and even though you hate violence you still stood by me and never tried to change me and you liked me for me. No one’s ever liked me without expecting me to change and I’ve never felt as comfortable being myself with someone as I have with you. Can’t wait to see you at school today - I got you a present. No I won’t tell you what it is and yes, you’ll definitely love it. See you soon.

Sugino Tomohito: Happy Birthday Nagisa! Hope that you have fun today! I just want to tell you that you are the best best friend that I could ever ask for and I am truly grateful for everything that you have done for me. When I first got kicked down to 3-E and was forced to leave the baseball club, I thought that it was all over but you came along and was the first person to actually sit down and listen to me and you offered to practice baseball with me and honestly, that really made my day. Dude, you are like this amazing blue ball of kindness and like seriously you are brilliant but you don’t nearly give yourself enough credit. I don’t know where you get your low self esteem from or what it is that makes you think that you are worth so little but I promise to remind you that you are cared for every single day until your next birthday and for the rest of your life. Okay, that probably sounded super weird but it’s early and my brain is like 60% baseball memes at this point. At first I hated losing my baseball friends and getting sent to this abandoned building on top of a death mountain but meeting you has made me realise that our crazy assassination classroom™ is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. From the day I’ve met you, you’ve been nothing but loyal and caring. You are the person I can talk and rant to and you’ll never judge me and you always know how to make you smile. And honestly, you are worth 1000 baseball teams. Don’t let your mother get you down. See you in class! Oh, BTW, my little brother says Hi.

Kayano Kaede: HIIIIII NAGISA! HOPE YOU HAVE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! I got you a gift and I hope you like it and no it’s not pudding but you will be getting some cake from that cafe we visited over the weekend. It’s not easy being the new girl and ever since I’ve joined the class, you’ve been nothing but an awesome best friend and you have always been by my side since the day we decided to have matching hairstyles (which might I say looks so much better on you than it does on me - UNFAIR!) I hope the rest of the year is filled with pudding and happiness and sweets and smiles and everything else you love

Nakamura Rio: Happy birthday to our resident blueberry cinnamon roll! Have a wonderful day ‘Gisa. I’m sure you will when you see what I have in store for you ;). You are seriously the most mature, innocent, pure little bean I have ever met - and definitely the most fun person to play pranks on! Dont worry, as the birthday boy, you shall spend 24 hours completely prank free. Yes, yes I know, I’m the best classmate ever. Dont need to tell me something I already know, sweetie. See you later, my fellow English lover!

Maehara Hiroto: Yo, dude, Happy Birthday! Hope you have fun and enjoy what we’ve got in store for you (no hints!). Like seriously you are legit the most awesome person ever cause you’re so sweet and innocent and can turn into this super awesome secret badass whenever you want to. Youre like the class therapist/medic/person we can always rely on and you never complain when we drive you crazy (cause I know that we do). I’m super proud of you man. Never change Nagisa. See you at school. (BTW - We still up for karaoke next week?)

Isogai Yuuma: Happy birthday Nagisa! Hope you have a wonderful day! I can’t wait to see you in class later. When my siblings found out that it was your birthday, they insisted that they make you a card.You are an irreplaceable member of our class and I’m so happy that you are part of it. Seriously, if it wasn’t for you and your ability to calm people down and talk people out of doing whatever crazy idea they came up with, I’m pretty sure I would’ve lost my mind. You’re always smiling and always participate in class without complaining and you always see the best in everyone. Keep on doing what you do Nagisa, the world could use more people like you. ( Oh and come to the cafe later, I got an iced bun on the house for you)

Fuwa Yuzuki: AAAAAHHHHH HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAGISA! CONGRATULATIONS ON SUCCESSFULLY SURVIVING THIS LONG ON EARTH! OOHH IM SUPER EXCITED FOR YOU TO SEE WHAT I’VE GOT YOU! Thank you for always going along with and listening to my crazy anime/manga rants even when you have no idea whats going on. It’s so much fun hanging out with you cause youre chill and youre always up for anything and apart from Takabayshi you’re the person in the class that get my references the most. Youre an amazing main protagonist and you deserve all of the screentime and lines you get - heck even your own spin-off show. For someone who loves heroes so much, youre doing an amazing job of being one yourself. Youre the best Watson a Sherlock like me could ever ask for and a really good friend for this manga obsessed Otaku! Love you and see you later!

Kataoka Megu: Happy Birthday Nagisa. I hope that you enjoy the rest of the day. As someone whose job is to watch over our … interesting class, having you around makes everyone else bearable. I’m sure that if you aren’t here to keep the peace I would’ve murdered Okajima months ago. You have always been really respectful and kind and I appreciate having someone as hard-working and loyal as you in my class. I always enjoy having our talks about equal rights and you have always been like a little brother to me (honestly, I prefer you over my actual older brother). See you later and please continue to stay the way you are.

Okano Hinata: Hey there Nagisa. Happy Birthday! How’s it going, little dude! Hope you enjoy yourself and have lots of fun today. Thank you for being one of the only boys that I can actually stand. You are such an amazing person to have in the class and you’re amazing at being someone that we can all come to when we’re upset. Plus you let us brush your amazing godly hair (seriously I’m jealous at how nice it is). If any main campus kids try to ruin this special day - come to me and I’ll sort them right out :)

Kurahashi Hinano: HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAGISA! I HOPE YOU HAVE LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF FUN TODAY AND EVERY SINGLE DAY OF YOUR LIFE! CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU SO THAT I CAN GIVE YOU YOUR PRESENT IN PERSON AND THE BIGGEST BIRTHDAY HUG EVER! YOU ARE AN AMAZING PERSON AND I (AND EVERYONE ELSE) LOVE YOU SOO MUCH OKAY I HAVE TO GO NOW BUT BYEEEE

Kimura Masayoshi: Hey Nagisa! Happy Birthday! Can’t wait to see you at school!

Mimura Kouki: Happy Birthday Nagisa :) wish you the best :)

Yada Touka: Happy Birthday Nagisa! I hope you have a fun-filled day! You are a really sweet and nice person and I enjoy hanging around with you - especially when you join us girls on our girl trips to the mall. You’re like a little brother to me and I always feel comfortable when I’m with you. Love you and hope you have a nice day <3

Takabayashi Koutarou: Happy Birthday Nagisa. I hope that you enjoy yourself.

Hayami Rinka: Happy Birthday Nagisa

Okajima Taiga: Happy Birthday Nagisa. You are such an incredible person to have in the class. And thank you for always saving me from the girls when they get mad at me. Hope you have fun. I was going to give you some really cool magazines but when the girls figured it out they slapped me and said that they’d tie me up in the middle of the mountain and leave me there if I did so I’m just gonna give you something else that I made (with Sugaya’s help). I’ll show you it at school - I hope you like it.

Kanzaki Yukiko: Happy Birthday Nagisa. I hope you have a nice day and thank you for being such a good and reliable friend. See you at school.

Yoshida Taisei: Happy Birthday Nagisa! I’m so sorry for the grenade incident earlier and I am so happy Koro-Sensei saved you. Also like you are one tough guy, you know that right? Cause what happened with Takaoka, man you couldve beaten any of us up with your eyes closed any time. Stay awesome dude. See you at the mountain

Hara Sumire: Happy Birthday Nagisa. I’ve made some sushi just for you. I hope you like it. As your official unofficial mother, I hope you have fun today and I can’t wait to see you later.

Sugaya Sosuke: Happy Birthday Nagisa. Thank you for being around and seeing the good in all of us even when we don’t see it ourselves. You always know how to inspire us and you are going to be an awesome grown up when you’re older. You always appreciate everyone and you know exactly how to pick us up when we’re down. I hope you like your present (you’ll get it later)

Okuda Manami: Happy Birthday Nagisa! I hope you have a wonderful day today. I just want to say thank you for being my friend and always encouraging me and helping me. You always know how to cheer me up and include me. See you at school.

Chiba Ryuunosuke: Happy Birthday Nagisa

Hazama Kirara: Happy Birthday fellow literature lover. I really enjoy talking about gothic literature with you - your analysis of themes and context is always very insightful and interesting and I enjoy spending time with you. If you ever need to escape, you can always come to me. PS - my offer to curse your mother is still up.

Muramatsu Takuya: Happy Birthday Nagisa. Hope you have fun. I made you some ramen (don’t worry its not my dad’s recipe so you’ll be good)

Terasaka Ryouma: Sup Shiota, Happy Birthday. I just want to say that I’m really sorry for being an a**hole and treating you like a jerk - especially forcing you to wear that grenade at the beginning of the year. You’re really good at assassination and you’ve got some serious moves. I dont really know what to say but you can always hang out with my gang whenever you want.

49 notes · View notes

horansqueen · 4 years

Text

You & Me : chapter 23

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.9k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: its a bit longer. and i hope its not too much or too exaggerated? anyway, you tell me. i really want to know what you really think, thank you!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : only one, no spoiler :)

Chapter 23 : His chapter

NIALL

I woke up with dried tears and the sun peaking through the curtains. I had no idea what time it was but Olivia was still pressed against me and I was holding her close, as if we hadn't moved at all during the night. I moved my face in her hair, smelling the honey and vanilla scent, before leaving a kiss on top of her head. She moaned low and moved closer, rubbing her nose on my neck.

"Mm, Niall." she whispered, making my lips curl.

I didn't know how she'd ever marry an other man after everything we went through and I didn't want to believe I was just some sort of friend with benefits that she used to have a 'fun time' before marrying someone else and spending her life with him. That was not the type of things she did and there was no way this made any sense. She didn't mention it, though, and didn't want to put any kind of pressure on her. She knew how I felt and I'd keep telling her until she'd make it clear she didn't want to hear it anymore.

"'Morning, petal. How did you sleep?" I asked, keeping my voice very low.

"With your song in head." she admitted just as low, leaving small kisses on my neck. "You really wrote that for me?"

I opened my eyes and pressed my cheek on top of her head. "I was not expecting to see you at the bakery that day, but if I had known, I would have expected my feelings for you to be exactly that. I knew I was still in love with you, Olivia. I knew when I broke up with you, and I knew all the time we were not together."

We remained quiet and I felt her fingers on my back, holding me against her, as if i wanted to move away anyway. Her warm and naked body against mine felt so good I could have stayed in this position all day.

"If you were always in love with me, Niall, why did you leave me?" she asked low, her voice almost cracking. "Why was everything else so important? Why did you need to be single and fuck around? Why wasn't I enough?"

I closed my eyes tight again and swallowed hard. Her questions were legit and my answers were sad. I squeezed her harder against me and licked my lips, trying to find the right words.

"I was selfish, and stupid. Honestly, Olivia, a big part of me knew you were unhappy. You were always hurt by stuff online or by the things I did and said. I felt like you wanted out and that eventually you'd end up hating me and leaving anyway. I left because your heart was in this relationship but your head was driving you insane."

She pulled away and her eyes met mine. She was frowning, her lips parted, and she shook her head.

"What?" she whispered, making me close my eyes again and sigh. "You're either trying to put this on me or you're literally telling me that you left because you thought that's what I wanted. I mean, you don't get to make that decision for me, Niall."

"I know, I mean I should have told you but-" she pulled away from me and sat in bed before rubbing her eyes. "I mean, Liv, It's true, you were miserable with me."

"Maybe because you kept flirting with every fucking girl you met!"

She got up and grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a shirt and something twisted in my stomach when I realized she hadn't picked the one I was wearing the day before. She was pissed, or hurt... or both.

"I know, I know I was wrong. I would never do that again."

"Well, I don't know if I believe you." she let out, grabbing her phone and getting out of the room.

I sighed and got up too, putting pretty much the same outfit as her and following her to the kitchen as she grabbed a water bottle in the fridge and started drinking from it.

"Olivia, I haven't flirted with anyone since.. I can't remember, but it's been months."

"What about in a year, Niall? When you'll be tired of me. When you'll be tired that I'm the only one you get to see naked, the only one you get to fuck. What will happen, then?"

Her tone was harsh and I swallowed the lump in my throat as I stared at her. I could understand how she felt, and at the same time, I knew she was aware that I was not the same man than I used to be.

"That will never happen again. Never." I let out seriously. "I will never get tired of you."

Her eyes softened for a few seconds but she quickly frowned again.

"Anyway that's not the point, you took a decision for me and you should have talked to me about it instead. You can't decide what I want or what I should do!"

"You're right, I can't. But don't you feel better now? You worked so much on yourself, you grew up and matured for the better, and I did too. I love to see you so confident about yourself, look what you accomplished! You have your own tv show, you do something you love and you get paid for it. You're so balanced and you look so happy and you love yourself!" I argued, taking a step closer.

"Okay, do you want me to thank you for it? Thank you, Niall, for breaking my heart."

Her voice was not as harsh and I felt like she knew I was right. I shook my head and sighed, daring to take an other step closer.

"No, you have only yourself to thank. You're the one who did all that. You owe it only to you. And you're right, I was a selfish prick and the fact that you weren't happy with me just comforted me in choosing my freedom over you." I explained gently. "But I love you. I changed. I want to show you that I changed."

She sighed and I was getting mad. I was not really mad at her, I was more mad at myself for not being able to express myself properly, and for the way I acted when we dated. I was pissed because she was right, and because her pain was legit. I was mad because I wanted her back and because I was scared our day was ruined.

"Well love is not everything, remember? It takes more than that." she pointed out roughly. "A lot more."

I felt something explode inside me, like a mix of anger and pain that I was unable to keep inside anymore and I shook my head roughly, throwing my arms up.

"If I could I'd take it back okay!" my voice was loud but I could feel sobs threatening to come out.

"Take what back?" she asked with an annoyed tone.

"That stupid break-up!" I admitted just as loud. "That fucking ridiculous break-up! I'd take it back in a heartbeat if I could! I'd erase it from our history forever! I regret it! It's the biggest regret of my life!"

Her eyes got bigger and her lips parted slightly. She seemed so surprised by my words that it calmed her immediately. I watched her lick her lips slowly, trying to keep my own tears in.

"If you hadn't broken up with me, Niall, you wouldn't know that." she started, this time in a low and soft voice. "You'd still be unsure of what you want, you wouldn't know if you really loved me. You had to lose me to realize that you actually wanted me. Do you see the irony, Niall? Do you realize how fucked up it is?"

I sighed again and walked to her, grabbing a chair and sitting down at the table, my elbows on the table and my face in my hands. I didn't want to fight with her, and I knew we could have a discussion without fighting. I breathed in and out a few times and when I felt calm, I opened my eyes again. She was sitting in front of me and she seemed calm too now.

"It is. It's fucked up." I admitted, staring at her. "I don't know how to tell you how sorry I am, Olivia."

"I already forgave you for that, Niall." she pointed out gently. "I'm sorry for bringing it back."

I let my arms fall on the table and opened my hands, palms up. She looked down and nibbled on her bottom lip for a few seconds before placing her hands in mine.

"Heidi sent me that picture of you in a wedding dress to make us fight but we did it by ourselves." I just said with a sad chuckle.

"It's normal to fight, sometimes, as long as we know how to make up, too." she explained. "We're better at this, aren't we?"

The left corner of my lips raised up. "We were never bad at it, but we're even better now, it's true."

I squeezed both her hands before letting go of one and grabbing the other with both of mine. I turned her hand so her palm was facing up and ran the tip of my forefinger on it gently. After a few seconds, she quivered slightly and my lips curled more. I loved having an effect on her.

"We're gonna have to talk about what we did when we were apart." I finally said, still staring at her hand.

I couldn't help but think about what Heidi told me and for some reason, I wanted to prove her wrong, even if she would never know. Olivia was not the kind of person to push me away for my mistakes. She never did it, and I felt like she never would. She didn't judge anyone and she always tried to make you feel better when you felt at your worst. I didn't want to believe that the bad decisions I took while we were apart would just ruin what we could have now and at the same time, I felt like she deserved to know before anything serious happened between us, if it was ever going to happen.

Her fingers slipped out of my hands as she brought her arms back to her and it made me look up. She was avoiding my gaze and it made me frown. Didn't she want to know what I did without her? Or was she just too scared to be hurt by my behavior that just thinking about that discussion made her feel bad?

"Not now, okay?"

I frowned, a bit surprised by how she literally closed up completely in front of me. It was so sudden that I realized maybe the problem was not what she was going to hear, but more what she was going to say.

"It's important, you know."

She shut her eyes tight and nodded. "I know."

I waited for her to open her eyes again but she didn't and I reached for her wrist over the table. "There's a fair in town, you want to go?"

Her eyes finally fluttered open and her lips curled a bit before she nodded. I realized she was uncomfortable with the discussion I wanted to have but I couldn't help but think it was needed. I was ready to wait but we couldn't push this discussion back forever, and I wanted her to hear it from me and not from anyone else.

"Okay, let's get ready then."

Her smile got bigger and she nodded again before getting up and going back to my room. I got up too and watched her leave, taking her water bottle and swallowing what was left it in. I was not the type to worry but this time, i felt curious and a bit scared. I was nervous to tell her about what I had done but I felt like she was keeping some things to herself too and although she didn't have to tell me what it was, I hoped she would.

When I got back to my room, I heard the shower and smiled despite myself. Without thinking, I took my clothes off and joined her quickly. She chuckled when she saw me but didn't tell me to leave and I quickly took the shampoo, rubbing it in her hair as she closed her eyes, a smile still gracing her lips.

"Your hair's gonna smell like my shampoo now." I said in a low tone. "Makes me sad. I prefer the way it smells normally."

She laughed and her eyes met mine when she opened them before shaking her head.

"Here's a secret I can tell you, Niall James Horan." she started, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "It's not my shampoo that has that smell."

My eyes opened wide and I chuckled low. "It's not?" she shook her head more. "What is it, then?"

This time, she just raised her nose up and took some foam from her hair only to wipe it on the tip of my nose. I raised it up and groaned, making her burst into laughter. She took a step back and let her head fall back to rinse her hair. I stared at her wet body for a few seconds before taking the shampoo again and washing my own hair.

We got prepared and left and this time, we took my car. We stopped at a restaurant to eat even if it was in the middle of the afternoon and ended at the fair a bit after 5. We could already see the sun setting and I realized time always passed fast when I was with her. I motioned to grab her hand without thinking but stopped right on time. It made my heart jump in my chest and I just turned my face to her to send her a smile.

"I like when you wear a cap." she just said, grabbing the front and pulling it down.

I took it off to put it back correctly and she laughed right before apologizing. I was happy to be there with her and I just hoped I wouldn't be recognized. It would just be incredibly nice to walk around holding hands and not holding inside all the affection we felt for each other but at the same time, I knew it was risky for her. Anyway, I was never the one who enjoyed PDA, even if I had derogated from my own rule a few times with her.

"I like when you wear a smile." I replied.

Her traits softened and her head tilted. Her smile turned into a fond one and just for that look, it was worth saying that cheesy line.

"I almost forgot how well you can sweet talk women."

This time, I laughed. "You know that's a lie."

"You're not as awkward as you think you are, Nee." she pointed out with a laugh as she walked towards a booth. "But I admit that your good look helps a lot."

This time, I laughed louder. "Glad you finally admit it." I joked as she quickly ordered cotton candy.

I reached for her hand with one of mine while the other searched through my pants. I handed the guy a bill and didn't send a glance to my ex girlfriend. I knew she was staring at me but I just thanked him and turned around as she followed me.

"I can pay for my own shit." she pointed out as I saw her lick her lips from the corner of my eyes. "But thank you. I also almost forgot how much of a gentleman you are. Well, in public, because in the bedroom you're-"

"Oh god stop!" I laughed, turning to her this time and noticing the large smile on her face.

She laughed too and I rolled my eyes as we walked to an other booth. No matter what we did together, it was always fun and it made me realize just how bad I wanted to really be with her again.

"So if I win you this pink bear right there, are you gonna sleep with it?" I asked with a smirk.

She tilted her head but moved her chin up and I kept looking at her as her eyes got smaller. She brought her finger and tapped her chin a few times, pretending to think and I rolled my eyes again at how dramatic she could get. I should have known she'd be a good actress.

"Yea definitely." she finally replied with a nod. "He'll sleep right between us so I can cuddle with him."

I raised my eyebrows and my head moved back. "Well in that case, I think we're just gonna try a few rides and leave him here."

I put my hands in my pockets and pretended to leave until she reached for my arm. "Noo, no, I will leave him on the nightstand when I'm with you."

I stopped and smiled big, amused by her behavior and finally turned back to her before nodding slowly. "Alright."

It took me 3 tries but I finally got it and handed it to her. Her smile got bigger and I could swear I saw a hint of red on her cheeks but I didn't mention it. She grabbed it and held it close to her as she was nibbling her bottom lip and she mumbled a 'thank you' that made me chuckle.

"You could have just paid to get it you know." she pointed out after a few seconds. "It would have costed you a few dollars but you didn't have to really play the game."

"Wouldn't have been the same would it?" I shrugged, sending her a wink. "Wouldn't have been as romantic." I made a pause. "And cheesy."

She laughed and my heart jumped in my chest, almost escaping from my throat. She kept the damn bear with her in all the rides, holding it between her thighs and even if she was not a big fan of rides, we did a few gentle ones. It's only when it was really dark outside that I noticed how she was looking at all the lights. She grabbed her phone and started taking pictures before turning to me and snapping one of me. It took me by surprise but I pulled her closer and grabbed her phone before taking a selfie of us. I took a look at it and held my breath when I looked at her. Her hair was a mess, her eyes were shut tight and her nose was up, and it reminded me of a selfie she had sent me when we were dating and I was traveling Asia. I quickly sent myself the picture from her phone and handed it back to her.

We remained in silence and kept walking. I had to leave my hands in my pockets to make sure I wouldn't just bring her close to me and when she pointed the ferris wheel, I raised my eyebrows at her.

"I thought I was cheesy but you're the queen."

"How about you be me king and come with me? I'd love to kiss you without anyone seeing." she admitted in a very low tone. "You in?"

"People normally go there for the incredible sight we get at the top."

"I have an incredible sight right here, in front of me." she confessed, making me chuckle. "Please, Niall."

I was just playing with her, there was nothing I wanted more than to kiss her at the exact moment, and it seemed like it took forever until we were at the top. I watched the dark sky and all the neon lights around the fair for a few seconds before turning to her and quickly kissing her. I felt all my body relax, like I had been waiting for this moment all day, and when she whimpered in my mouth, I groaned too, holding her cheeks with both my hands. When we started going back down, I stopped kissing her but leaned my forehead against hers, still cupping her face. We finally got out of the ride and that's when trouble started. I noticed someone take a picture and my heart skipped a beat.

"What the..."

"What's wrong?"

"Fuck, Liv, we have to go." I whispered, grabbing her arm gently and leading her to the exist as quick as I could.

I glanced behind us until we were in my car and started it, driving away from that place and looking in the rear view mirror a few times. I only relaxed when I was sure we were not followed and noticed she was staring at me, her head leaned on the seat.

"I'm sorry." I let out with a sad smile.

"Are you doing this for me?" she asked, blinking a few times and ignoring my apology. "I mean I know you don't like to be seen in public and pictures being taken and all, but did you leave quickly like that because I'm supposed to marry someone else and you were scared people would talk shit?"

"Mostly, yea." I just admitted as I brought my eyes back on the road.

We remained silent for a few minutes and I had no idea what was going on in her head until I heard her voice again.

"I love you, Niall Horan."

----

We were exhausted when we came back to my place and I just rushed to the kitchen to pour us two glasses of white wine. She followed me, putting her pink bear on the table as I handed her a glass. She drank half of it but she weirdly seemed serene and calm. I thought she'd go crazy knowing that someone had taken a few pictures of us but she didn't seem to care at all. It's not like she was not used to it but at the same time, she never liked it and it always bothered her, making her current behavior even more intriguing.

"Okay, tell me, I'm ready." she just said after exhaling deeply. I frowned at her and she pressed her lips together. "Tell me what you did that's so horrible while we were away from each other."

In the morning, she was the one who didn't want to talk about it and now, it was me. Perhaps I just didn't want to ruin such a perfect day. I pulled a chair and let myself fall on it but instead to sit in front of me, she sat at the end of the table and turned her chair sideways to face me. I took my glass and moved it a bit only to watch the pale liquid move in it.

"I slept with some girls before I started dating Heidi, but I couldn't find what I was looking for until I met this girl at a bar. She was shaped like you, had your hair color and your smile and in the dark, she could have been you, you know? I just... I let out your name while we were fucking and maybe I had to pay her to keep her mouth shut."

"Are you... sure she was not just a prostitute?"

I looked up at her with a small smile. "No."

"Oh." she pressed her lips together. "Was she as good as me?"

I chuckled sadly and shook my head. "No one is."

I remained silent for a minute or two, trying to make sense of my thoughts before continuing.

"I tried a few drugs. You know it was never my type but I needed to sort of... get away. One time Heidi had to pick me up at your old apartment because I was hitting the door and screaming your name in the middle of the night but you had already moved out." I scoffed at myself, I couldn't believe how pathetic I had been. "I'm not gonna get into details but I also started a fight in a pub. Just hit some arsehole that said something about you."

"What about me..."

"Something sexual that's clearly not worth repeating."

"It seems like you did many things that were out of character." she said cautiously. "But that's what you wanted, right? Try new things and just live your life? Why do you regret it?"

"Because nothing was worth losing you, Olivia." I admitted a little louder, looking up in her eyes as her face softened again. "I was miserable. I was a pathetic piece of shit. I know you probably think low of me now but I just, I had to tell you."

Her eyes dropped slowly to her lap and she nibbled on her bottom lip nervously. I waited, feeling suddenly anxious, scared that she'd just get up and leave, or tell me that she couldn't go on with me, but when she sniffed and rubbed her fingers on her nose, I realized she was crying.

"I remember when I saw the first picture of you and Heidi online. The article said you two were dating now and she was kissing you." she let out in a very low tone without looking at me. "I was alone at home and I started crying. It made me realize that it was really over, it made me believe that you were over me, that the problem was not that you wanted to be single, but just that you didn't want to be with me. I cried so hard I couldn't see straight and I just... I went to the bathroom and I..." she sighed and swallowed again, closing her eyes this time. "I just swallowed all the fucking pills I found. I swallowed them all and lied down on the floor for so long I couldn't keep track of time. All I can remember is the tiles being very cold and the stomachache. It was so intense I couldn't move and It was literally the only thing that stopped me from falling asleep."

I listened to her as my eyes watered. I felt nauseous but I just swallowed hard, feeling a big lump on my throat. I could barely believe what I was hearing. I hadn't heard anything about that and to me, she always seemed so happy when she was out with my friends, even after we broke up, it was hard to believe she was sad enough to do something like that.

"Louis found me. I remember he let out so many curse words, even for him. He searched for something but couldn't find anything to make me throw up so he just sat me up in front of the toilet and pushed his fingers down my throat. Nothing had ever hurt me like that. I think I threw up for a solid ten minutes." she added, shaking her head, her eyes still closed. "Then he called his doctor and he drove me there."

I was crying. I had actual tears rolling down my cheeks but I couldn't move. I felt angry and hurt but also extremely guilty.

"Why the fuck did you do that, Olivia?" my voice was a simple murmur and I swallowed again. The lump was so big that it hurt. "Do you... did you think about how sad everyone would have been, including me? You would have left me alone in this stupid world without you?"

This time, she looked up at me and I noticed she was crying too. When she saw my tears, her face changed but she just licked her lips and sniffed.

"You left me first."

Slowly, I got up, feeling very weak, my legs wobbling slightly. I knelt in front of her and put my hands on her knees, looking up in her eyes. I had been so close to lose her forever and I didn't even know. Why didn't anyone tell me? Why didn't Louis tell me anything?

"I don't want you to ever do that again, you hear me?" I tried to be firm but my voice cracked as I kept crying and suddenly, I burst into tears, leaning my forehead on her thigh. "Don't you fucking do that ever again." I added, my mouth pressed on her jeans.

I felt her hand slide gently in my hair and the contact of her skin with mine was soothing. I turned my head to lean my cheek on her thigh and catch some air as both of my hands gripped her tight.

"I'll never do it again, Niall. I was depressed, I took antidepressants after that, and I survived this." she explained low.

"Promise me, Olivia." I asked before looking up at her. "Look me in the eyes and promise me you will never fucking do that again, no matter what happens."

She held her breath and I knew she was on the verge of tears too. She finally nodded and I gripped her thighs harder.

"I promise, Niall. " she breathed. "I swear on my love for you."

#niall horan #niall horan story #niall horan fluff #niall horan smut #niall horan writing #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #my fanfics #yam #im stressed i hope its not too much

75 notes · View notes

blueluneacy · 5 years

Text

Dinner Date

It’s the third place raffle fic for @azurebeanie ! Next thing Im working on is second place, so you know who you are!

It’s a Jotaro/reader, domestic fluff! word count: 1.5k. I hope you like it!

You grumbled as you fumbled with your keys, hoping to get in your home without a fuss. All you really wanted to do was crawl into bed, and sleep for the next million years. It’s not that you hated your job, but it definitely didn’t make you happy at times. And now was one of those times. You sighed, shaking your head as you entered into your shared apartment. You lived with your boyfriend, Jotaro, but usually he was out later than you. You used to try and keep track of his schedule. Now you just sort of try and perceive when he comes home, like he’s some sort of feral cat.

So, thinking you were alone, you grumbled to yourself as you threw your keys down, pulling off your shoes and coat. Maybe if you bothered to look up as you put your bag to the side, you might have noticed your boyfriend staring at you.

“Well, hello to you too.” He replied, and you looked up, seeing Jotaro standing there. It was pretty odd that he got home before you. You sighed, moving over to hug your boyfriend and give him a quick peck on the cheek, before letting go.

“Hey. Sorry, I’m tired. Think I’m gonna shower before I cook.” You just replied, shrugging a bit, but Jotaro looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Hey. Sit down for a second, what’s wrong?” He asked, half guiding half pulling you over to sit next to him on the couch. You sighed, just trying to shrug Jotaro off at first.

“Oh, it’s nothing. I’m just tired, it’s fine really.” You replied, trying to stand up and get into your shower, but Jotaro wasn’t having it. He just pulled you into a hug, stroking your hair. “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to lie to me, I’m here to listen.” Jotaro told you. You gasped, looking away from your boyfriend the best you could. God, the floodgates were starting to open and you could feel yourself starting to tear up. You whimpered, trying to keep yourself from crying over what Jotaro would certainly think was miniscule. While you knew in your heart he would never actually judge you for crying or being upset over this, you still had this fear in your stomach that if you showed yourself as week, someone as strong as Jotaro would think less of you.

“It’s… Nothing… R-Really… Just a bad day, is all…” You mumbled, swallowing a bit to try and feel some sort of control over your emotions. It didn’t really help any.

“Hey. It’s alright, (y/n). I’m here for you.” Jotaro told you, and you just… Broke. You buried your face in Jotaro’s chest, feeling yourself sob. God, you were going to get Jotaro’s sweater covered in your tears, weren’t you? But, he didn’t seem to care, just cooing to you and stroking your hair. When you finally pulled away from his chest, Jotaro brushed a piece of your hair behind your ear. You began to tell him of the horrors of your day, of having to clean up after your coworkers, getting blamed for things you never did, usual office terrors. You even got yelled at by your boss. You were more angry than sad about these events, really, you just happened to sort of be an angry crier. That, and when things build up, something as small as the affection from your boyfriend can make them really appear in strange ways. You originally felt sick to your stomach speaking about all this, but as you spoke more and more, it was like a weight was slowly being lifted from your shoulders.

Jotaro was attentive in conversation, although some may not believe it. He asked few questions and rarely interjected, preferring to listen and nod at your rant, letting you get everything you needed off your chest. When you finally finished speaking, you leaned into your boyfriend’s chest once more, humming slightly. Your nose was still stuffy and your eyes still all puffy, but you certainly felt a lot better.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with all that. You don’t deserve it.” Jotaro told you, wrapping an arm around you to hold you close. You smiled slightly, cuddling up next to him.

“Yeah, but I feel a lot better talking to you about it.” You told Jotaro, closing your eyes and leaning your head against him.

“Do you want to just order out? You shouldn’t have to cook if you’re so exhausted.” Jotaro told you, but you sat up, shaking your head. “Are you kidding? I defrosted that meat, it’ll go bad if we don’t cook it.” You said, starting to pull yourself up. “Don’t worry, I can still cook. It’ll be fine.” But, as you started to get up, Jotaro got up with you. Although he let you go, he was following you to the kitchen, a small smile on his normally stoic face. As you started to pull things out of the fridge, he watched carefully. You turned to him, sighing a bit. Your kitchen wasn’t really big enough for Jotaro to be standing over you like this. “And what are you doing?” You asked, slightly teasing. In certain ways, Jotaro was like a small child. He tended to follow you around the apartment, enjoying spending time simply in your presence, even if the two of you weren’t doing anything together.

“Waiting to help.” Jotaro just replied smoothly, and your eyes widened for a moment, before you just started to laugh. Jotaro just pouted slightly. “What’s so funny? I told you, I’m helping. You’re tired, aren’t you?” He grumbled. You just smiled, waving Jotaro over. “Alright, alright. See those vegetables in the fridge? Can you wash and mince them for me?” You asked, still amused by your boyfriend’s insistence to help. While you knew he could cook, you’d seen him do it several times, he often chose not to. You’ve had to call his mother several times to tell on him that he had sat and spent the week eating ramen before the two of you moved in together. Once you decided to get an apartment together, you sort of made it your mission to make sure the large man ate properly, and oh boy was it a task.

Jotaro just nodded, taking out the vegetables and doing exactly as you said as you got out fish stock, hoping to make a nice stir fry. You had come to realize the true potential of stir fry as the two of you lived together. It was something easy to cook, and you could make a lot of it. There still usually wasn’t any leftovers. You hummed as you cooked, not noticing when the sound of Jotaro’s knife stopped, too focused on your own task at hand. You felt arms wrap around you, and you gasped, looking up to see your lover resting his head upon your own.

“Jotaro! Come on, finish up what you’re doing!” You told him, pushing him off slightly. He just slid over his cutting board full of vegetables, sighing. “I’m all done. I just didn’t want to bother you, you’re so cute when you’re focusing on something.” Jotaro told you. You felt heat creep onto your face and you looked away, trying to keep yourself from losing it from embarrassment.

“I just want to make sure dinner isn’t poisonous, is all…” You tried to stave off your own embarrassment, taking the vegetables and throwing them in the pan.

“Make yourself useful and wash the cutting board and some dishes.” You grumbled. Jotaro just laughed, nodding a bit.

“Yes yes, of course…” He replied. You moved back to humming as you cooked, occasionally looking over to Jotaro to see him focusing intently on the task. You smiled as you finished up cooking. Wordlessly, Jotaro handed you a clean plate. You smiled, nodding a bit as you plated the food, making sure to give Jotaro a big portion. He looked at you, sighing a bit as he noticed. You just grinned, plating your own food and moving to the table, sitting down. You smiled, sitting down to eat with your boyfriend. You watched as he sat down next to you, taking the first bite and smiling. “Wonderful, as always, (y/n).” He told you. You just giggled, smiling at Jotaro and beginning to eat on your own. As the two of you ate, you smiled, and you realized you couldn’t quite remember what exactly you were mad about in the first place. You were content to just leave things as they were, just spending time with your Jotaro was enough for you. When he picked up your plates, you grinned, getting up with him and walking along

“I love you, Jotaro.” You told him. He just sighed, beginning to wash the dishes even as you clung to his side, hugging him the same way he hugged you when you were cooking.

“Good grief…” He mumbled. But still, he wrapped his arms around you, kissing you on the forehead.

#writing #My writing #jotaro kujo/reader #jotaro x reader #jotaro kujo x reader #jotaro/reader #fluff #sfw #mine

137 notes · View notes

wolferals · 4 years

Text

🌟HIM AGAIN🌟

arón piper preference

-it was a totally normal Saturday for you

-you got up around 9:30, took a quick cold shower to cool down since its been really hot lately

-afterwards you had some breakfast, just some toast with strawberry jam and a glass of chocolate milk

-it was around 11 when you had decided to have a day just for yourself

-you‘ve made a little plan of what to do today

-just some general ideas what you could do

-first on your last was going to the grocery store

-quickly you grabbed your keys from the living room and put the rest of your stuff like phone, lip balm, a bottle of water and a scrunchie in your backpack

-then you hopped in your car and drove as close to the center as you could so you were able get all your stuff without walking long distance

-all the stores were in your reach

-on your way to the grocery store, which was only like a 5 minute walk you first put on your sunglasses due to the bright light and then checked your phone for a second

-then you looked up

-and a guy walked past you

-he was handsome you thought but didnt really pay attention until he sent you a cute smile

-you smiled back and kept walking

-u‘ve never seen anyone in Madrid who just passes you on the sidewalk smile at you

-especially not a guy

-but you didnt think anything of it, you just wanted to concentrate on yourself today

-it was officially you-time

-very well deserved after the last project you had to do at college

-it had been stressing you out for weeks

-but now it was over and you needed a break

-at Mercadona you just wandered around the aisles for a while and eventually got everything you wanted

-the usual

-some bread, milk, eggs, some juice, pasta and some rice and a bunch of different candies for your soul

-you really needed this right now

-after paying for your stuff you put all of it in a tote bag and left to bring all of it back to your car

-since your car wasnt parked anywhere far away it took you only a couple of minutes until your bag was secure on your backseat

-quickly you checked your phone for the next destination

-which was getting your eyebrows plucked

-your friends sister did that for you for a great prize and you really liked the way she did it

-so you headed there real quick

-„hey girl!“ she greeted you as you walked in

-„hey nice to see you.“ you spoke and hugged her for a second before she had to go back to her customer

-„looks great.“ you complimented the girl who‘s makeup she was working on right now

-she smiled at you and thanked you

-„just sit down, I‘ll be done in a minute.“ Ella told you and you did as she said

-so you just spend a bit of time scrolling through your phone but that got boring soon so you just looked around

-out the window mostly

-not to sound like a creep but you liked watching people

-more like observing characters

-its so weird how different people can come off as just by walking by

-you saw two girls together

-one of them blonde, wearing super girly clothes like a crop top and a cute dotted skirt

-the other one had black short hair, bangs in a bright purple color, wearing more like emo-clothes

-you liked how people showed off who they were with their clothes

-and then a guy walked by

-he looked familiar

-you had passed him before, you had remembered his blue shirt with the little picture on it

-weird you thought but forgot about it the second Ella told you to sit down at the chair

-after your eyebrows were in a good shape again you went to the next store

-you‘ve been looking for a knitted top for a while and your friend had told you you could find it at Zara

-so off you went

-the walk was a bit farther but not like a challenge

-as you walked past a busy street

-you noticed a very cute dog sitting in front of a store

-he wasnt on a leash

-must be a very well behaved dog you thought

-you went up to him, you just couldn’t resist

-you pet him carefully and looked around to maybe see the owner

-„naw who do you belong to?“ you asked the dog in a cute voice

-he just looked at you and obviously enjoyed you scratching his head

-„me.“ you suddenly heard a voice and stood up from the ground

-„he‘s mine.“ a tall handsome man spoke and put his phone in his jeans pocket

-it was this guy again

-the one who you had seen twice in one hour already

-„he‘s really cute.“ you just spoke and kept on walking

-all you heard was a laughing „thanks.“ as your back was turned to him

-it did feel very strange to see this guy all the time

-considering that madrid is huge

-it was probably just a coincidence

-to bluntly summon this, you didnt find the top you were looking for because it had been sold out in your size

-unfortunately

-so you decided to go to another store to check

-but they didnt have anything close to it either

-after another hour you quickly grabbed a sandwich at a bakery nearby and wanted to head back to your car

-while eating your sandwich on the way you got a little bit distracted by your phone

-so you dropped a piece of tomato on the ground

-but before you could pick it up to throw it in the trash can nearby someone was faster

-well not quite a person

-a dog

-and you had seen this dog before

-you were weirded out by now

-„oh.“ was all you could say in this situation

-„paco.“ someone yelled and you looked up to see this guy, the fucking same guy AGAIN, jogging up to the both of you

-„i‘m sorry he‘s young and...“ he stopped and looked at you as if he had recognized you as well

-„its okay, i would’ve eaten it anymore anyways.“

-the guy laughed a little

-he had a gap between his front teeth

-your first boyfriend had had one too

-well, you were 12

-„sorry, he keeps bugging you.“ he said and grabbed the dog at the collar

-„no dont worry! He‘s just playful I understand that. But my full respect that he doesnt need a leash.“ you spoke impressed

-„yeah my dad taught him that. He‘s a good boy.“ the guy smiled down at his dog

-you smiled back

-„yeah he seems like it.“

-„anyway I have to go. But I‘ll probably see you again today.“

-you started laughing

-he joined you and then added a:“Im sure. Have a good day!“

-„you two as well!“ you replied and smiled one last time before finally reaching your car and driving home to have a nice afternoon all for yourself

*2 days later*

-your friends had invited you to a game night at their shared apartment

-you were super excited

-Sheila just told you her boyfriend would be coming too

-and that he might bring a friend so that you guys would be an even amount of players

-you were just sitting at the dining table sipping on a glass of wine as the doorbell rang

-„oh finally.“ Sheila groaned and ran to open the door

-you heard them greet each other and someone took off their shoes and their jacket

-„Guys, thats Jorge, but you‘ve met him before. Like once? And that’s Arón, his best friend.“

-you looked up

-and you couldnt fucking believe it

-„No.“ was all you said and stood up

-this wasnt true, man

-that dude again

-„You.“ he started laughing

-Sheila looked around all confused

-„You two know each other?“ she asked

-Arón and Jorge sat down

-Arón then eventually spoke:“Funny story.“

-you couldnt keep his eyes off him

-other than the other day he was wearing a flannel and jeans not the sweats and the oversized shirt

-and he smelled good

-„Yeah really weird.“ you added to his comment

-„Tell us!“ your other friend encouraged you

-arón kept staring at you

-and when sheila responded:“maybe its destiny“ you knew it too

-and judging from his face, he did too

#elite #cute #preference #aronpiper #omander #aronxreader #ander #preferences

23 notes · View notes

gg-astrology · 4 years

Note

Can you tell us 10 things about you? and about ur friends irl? How u met them/ how long u know them/ what u like to do with them? This is gonna sound nosy but how's ur love life hdjsks LISTEN YOU'RE LIKE MY DREAM BEST FRIEND AND I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU AND ACT LIKE WE'RE TOTES HOMIES OKAY IM A VIRGO SUN PISCES MOON smh a girl is cURIOUS AND (platonically) IN LOVE WITH YOU 😖❤❤❤❤

Hey there!! 💕💓❤️ Oh wow!!!! 💕💓❤️💕💓❤️ Don’t worry this is fine!! I’m actually -- like, really happy and giddily flustered you’d want to get to know me!? 💕💓❤️ I’m really flattered and really grateful/touched aaaaaaa only virgo/pisces deserve rights, my current wife is also a virgo/pisces this is obviously some kind of synastry destiny (jk *wink wonk?*)!! 💕💓❤️thank you for caring about me!!! 💕💓❤️💕💓❤️💕💓❤️💕💓❤️

Yeah sure!! 💕💓❤️I can tell you more things about me!! 💕💓❤️

Disclaimer? I think it’s good for the audience to know where I’m coming from and who I am? I just think transparency/knowing who you’re talking to is important because knowing who I am, can also help you and me see where my flaws are and where I may be coming from! 💕💓❤️ Or what I provide, but where I might miss my mark somewhere, y know? 💕💓❤️ Not to say you have to judge me, I just don’t see the point in not just being who I am and saying yeah I can see where I took the L there. It’s just-- better? for future endeavors as well? So here we are?

More about me? In sections?

10 things about me?

I’ll start with this since it’s the shortest!

This may come off as totally random but I do better in colder climate than hotter ones -- even though I currently live in a tropical island

I used to live in the US!

I actually have a designated place where I go to sit, open up my laptop and answer asks from tumblr. I sit outside my little patio and stare out at my garden, and then answer qs from here!

This means I’m always subjected to the Wild Life coming at me unexpectedly sometimes, but my cat also visits me at my table! So it balances out!

My favourite drink is milk but I like plant-based ones, or rice milk? Or the lactose free ones! They’re delicious!

Cherries are my favourite snacks but I usually get them once every 3 months -- so the result is I don’t tend to snack often. This is by design of me trying to Not Snack + using my pickiness to weaponize against myself and my eating habits.

To unwind I watch cat/animal videos on youtube before I go to sleep - it’s not very effective because I have to keep my eyes open to see, plus I always end up making cooing noises at the screen -- so I’m not sure when if it’s actually making me sleepy or not. But it’s working so far so I’m continuing to do it.

I have very specific knowledge of certain things in very acute details + link/resources of further studies on the topic, but otherwise I have 0.5 braincells most of the time, just a lot of Forbidden Knowledge.

I have a folder of cursed memes and that’s all you need to know about my sense of humour I think?

Love life?

I am currently single! 💕💓❤️ Gf application is always open! 💕💓❤️ However, I’d like everyone of you to know I’m a 95 liner and I will not accept applications from those born after 98′ 💕💓❤️

Although I’m bi + had ex-bf before... I am (as of right now) on the fence about men personally in my personal life (disclaimer) because I’ve got a week of quarantine, thus I haven’t been doing the do and can think clearly for once. I am contemplating. Men. And the necessity in life. Y know?

Although my love life is free!! I am not excused from the occasional panic of having a crush (annually). I’m lucky enough to go through it just once every year, but every time it happens I am an absolutely clown + always in turmoil. It’s what happens when you’re a sag venus who can’t control your p***y brain. Luckily, my crush just have to insult me or make me explain things from my past and then I’d be too traumatize to crush on them again. It’s quite effective, and works out best for all of us! 💕💓❤️

I’ll refrain from talking about my ex because I know I have a habit of recounting the good and being mushy. Even if we ended it on rocky terms. So! I’ll save everyone from that. 💕💓❤️

Friends (expanded, clarifications?)

The ones I mention on the blog are usually

taurus/taurus,

cancer/cancer,

leo/libra,

leo/cap (x2),

virgo/sag,

libra/aries (x2),

scorpio/sag,

scorpio/cap,

sag/taurus,

pisces/scorpio,

pisces/aqua,

Oof that’s alot.. This might be better to outline in a timeline format... so leo/libra, scorpio/sag, libra/aries and partially virgo/sag are whom I grew up for the majority of my childhood-teenage life! 💕💓❤️

They obviously made a very big impact on me! 💕💓❤️ They’re with me through thick/thin, leo/libra (sag rising) is the extrovert of the bunch. He’s one of my best friends, close guy friend, most of the time I too find him a little exasperating because he’s.. well its his problem so nevermind, but he’s also very endearing! 💕💓❤️ If it wasn’t for him-- well, there’s also another leo I thought was very endearing in a little brother kind of way. So leos to me have a very positive influence in my life, they’re very cute especially when they ask for your attention. I think they are like puppies/kitties when they are needy, and their blatant way of just being themselves always makes me feel refreshed + I admire them for it. In the end, I’m totally heart-eyes endeared for Leos! 💕💓❤️

Scorpio/sag is also my best friend! 💕💓❤️ She’s a taurus rising, and she’s so sweet, kind, chatty and very open/friendly to people! 💕💓❤️ Her, my cousin (who’s also a scorpio but a scorpio/pisces), and quite a few of my other best friends who are scorpios - actually made me realize they’re not like what they’re usually describe as. Maybe that’s just me? But I think they’re very sweet and comforting to be around, not to mention they’re quite supportive and willing to listen when you’re having a tough time with something!! 💕💓❤️The pillar of support and one of the few rare people I don’t mind interacting with (actually crave interacting with them) because of just how chill they are, I wish more people recognize that in a scorpio! 💕💓❤️

Libra/Aries is one of my longest childhood friend, probably from birth! 💕💓❤️ He’s a supportive big brother type figure. But he can be very silly and he doesn’t hold himself so seriously most of the time! 💕💓❤️ Whilst he’s very understanding and quite nosy with others, he tries to be subtle/sleek but he isn’t! I think he’s very endearing when he wants to be, and he deserves someone who loves him lots as well 💕💓❤️ We reunited for the first time in 6 years the other day? And I think we both ended up crying a little and holding hands because we miss each other alot! 💕💓❤️ It was very nice, I think he’s much more emotional (just suppressed) than what people realize! 💕💓❤️ He’s very caring though - like willing to talk you through your problems and make sure you’re taken care of, back on your feet, but also willing to smile scarily at people who’ve hurt you and actually take them to court/yell at them for you. I think its very sweet! 💕💓❤️

Virgo/Sag is someone I hung out with for a short period of time, but kept in contact with periodically throughout my life because we ended up going through similar majors/path in life! 💕💓❤️ She’s someone who’s very caring, wants to take care of you, when she’s endeared by you she makes sure to dote on you often! 💕💓❤️ Actually, she’s born a day after Namjoon I think? But that’s not the point, the thing is - she’s my virgo/sag and when she’s not by my virgo/sag she’s super cool and I can see that many of our friend respects her/think she’s very mature + she’s the Shit! 💕💓❤️ I really admire her too and I think she’s super cool, but more than that, I love how caring and tender she is. She’s the best 💕💓❤️

These are the people I grew up with, and then I went to college and met/lived with Scorpio/Cap + Pisces/Scorpio+Aqua.

Scorpio/Cap and I actually hit it off since the first day? We were in orientation, and we’re both talkative I guess! But in similar ways. He appreciates my bluntness/sense of humour and I like that he’s sarcastic and the only one engaging enough to be around/paying attention to what’s happening. We went to a house party together and then had 1 class together the semester. After that, me and him decided we’d live together off campus (along with our other friend who fell through, I think he’s a Leo?) - whilst we lived together we share majors in the same division, on holidays or at night after class, we’d grab dinner together + walk there, or we’d eat at home and binge watch a marathon he’d pick together. 💕💓❤️ It’s really fun! 💕💓❤️

Both of us like cooking, so he’d make dishes/drinks and I’d do that and we’d coerced each other to hang out in the living space together. Basically, we’re there to force each other to socialize/hang out with people and also encourage each other. It’s very fun! But we also had moments where we’d buy each other dinner/go to art galleries/exhibit together. There’s more serious too of course, like talking about our problems or worrying about stuff. But I think I found someone who looks out for me/I can look out for him, be confidants for each other and not be embarrassed with each other. Besides this, he also found my p0rn collection and suddenly mentioned it when we’re on campus so now I can never unfriend him because he has blackmail material on me. I’m forced to be his friends forever now.

Pisces/Cap and Pisces/Aqua are my roommates after Scorpio/Cap - actually, Pisces/cap invited me to live with them when I was finding a place, it was very fortunate! 💕💓❤️ We’re all close friends because we live in the same hall during first year, plus me and Pisces/cap (and a Gemini friend) would get drunk + go to parties together so!! This is very convenient! 💕💓❤️

Actually.. Pisces/cap, me and Gemini friend.. I went with Gemini friend to buy his apartment with him (along with his friends, I’m good friends with them too) and Pisces/cap went with him to buy furnitures lmao! 💕💓❤️ And then me and Pisces/cap moved in together, although I didn’t room with them. I roomed with Pisces/Aqua whom till this date is my favourite roommate I’ve ever lived with! 💕💓❤️

It’s a little messy with Pisces/Cap but not in a? bad way? at all? Like we’re close friends who still talk often, but they did confess once over the holidays, and I turned them down (that was when I was about to move in) - we did make out along with pisces/aqua but like.. that’s... I guess that’s normal for college y know? We did a couple projects together for their class, like a comic about me and gemini friend, poems, photography, I drew them something. And I think they did have something with Gemini friend as well but! Gemini friend moved away on the last year so it never went anywhere there.

But these are all good memories we had together and it’s not like-- bad at all, I don’t ever think badly at them for it because it was honest to them/for them, it was their emotions and tenderness from the heart? I can’t ever look down on anyone for that or judge them for being true to themselves, I actually think they’re very brave to be able to heal themselves and process things especially involving emotions like that. I also think these are all precious and honest memories, being friends with them definitely helped me grow my EQ by so much. Without them, I’d be very close-minded today! 💕💓❤️

Pisces/aqua is my roommate for a long time, and I love them to bits too! 💕💓❤️ They have two cats, both I love so so much and would sacrifice getting up for very often! 💕💓❤️ More than that, Pisces/aqua is so smart and able to pick things up immediately! It’s honestly very admirable, how they pierce things together. Whether it’s tarot or astrology, they’re the one who got me into this actually? 💕💓❤️ It was their interest before it became mine through proxy or maybe osmosis lmao, but they’re quite judgey and sometimes have a ? idk, superiority complex/elitist attitude towards stuff sometimes? So I never really talked about it much with them because it can get really frustrating sometimes 💕💓❤️ I do love them lots though, I can be ignorant of a lot of things and really slow on the uptake, but they’re very nice and kind and patient with me - honestly they’re as patient as a saint sometimes with me. And I’m really really thankful to them for it! 💕💓❤️ They’re getting married this year to a Scorpio! 💕💓❤️

Taurus/taurus and Cancer/cancer are my college best friends. Actually we hang out outside of class too! 💕💓❤️ I celebrated cancer/cancer’s birthday with them and their friends/roommates and it’s really fun. Heres why it’s -- like, momentous. It’s because my college classmates are more like colleagues or co-workers, so we don’t usually have that kind of camaraderie outside of first year. Plus, we’re all kind of working or busy with our private life outside of class - so it’s hard to reconvene that with who you know in classrooms.

They like their private life separated from the college one, which is what I prefer as well. I really adore them though, since we have a major that usually makes us get little to no sleep and have to stay at school at night-till morning most nights (for programs on the computer or printing facilities, rip) -- they’re the one who would either stay up with me, working together at the same table and we can ask each other for fresh eyes on our work. Or they’d motivate me to go home and not be stupid to stay at school. Or they’d drive me home so they know I get back safely/on time. It’s just -- I adore them so much they’re very very good! 💕💓❤️

Taurus/Taurus is also a college best friend whom I befriended later on in the years, they’re really sweet! 💕💓❤️ We have more of a friendship where we spend time outside together, walking in the city trying out a new cake store or just going back to their place to play games or talk about what else we have going on in our lives. They’re really busy!! Since they’re involved in church activities, they travel to another town an hour away every sunday - their dedication to their work, school and church (AND spending time with their fiance’s family + fiance) is amazing! 💕💓❤️ They also got me my first job at the firm they’re working in, in our last years - I made sure they’re not too tired and get their work done on time so they don’t rush their finished project. Or give better advice if the teacher is making them fume. I really like them lots too, we had alot of fun together AND they’re a foodie! 💕💓❤️

There’s another Libra/Aries whom I knew from college, while I was still living with Scorpio/Cap - I was in another town/not the same town as the Pisces back then. But Libra/Aries was close and she’d come by often! We’d travel the city together, lay on the lawn, go to parks together or exhibit. They’re very proactive and we spend a lot of time talking about work and projects, personal interests, when we watch movies together - we’d spend time sitting in cafes after watching them to talk for hours/until closing about the movie ( ‘we have alot to unpack’) -- they’re a lot of fun to talk to because they’re just as intense about stuff! 💕💓❤️ And their interest is genuine, give good hugs, a little too loud for our cats but she means well! 💕💓❤️

This is brief recount of everyone, mostly focusing on activities we did together but knowing them as people obviously made a big impression on me! 💕💓❤️

Leo/Caps are people I met since I finished college/working now, they’re my two admins on the blog actually! 💕💓❤️So internet friends, but I really click with and they’re soothing + fun to be around when I’m home/anywhere! 💕💓❤️

Sag/Taurus is also another internet friend, I’ve known her for a year now? But man, every conversation is an adventure and she’s so fun to be around! 💕💓❤️ Also very sweet and an extremely kind person, in a fire sign kind of way. Which means a lot of gawking from me and very loud laughs. But yes! 💕💓❤️ Very good people! 💕💓❤️

I do have friends from work... but well we’re not close enough for me to actually consider them good friends/talk about them personally? They’re nice! But I have yet to form a more positive opinion about them - it’s positive and negative, so I’ll see who survives and come through as a person I’d like to hang out with outside of work. 💕💓❤️

To Virgo/Pisces anon:

Here’s my best friend application do I make the cut please reply 💕💓❤️

#about me #phew this took a while to answer!#virgo/pisces anon #are we best friends now pls tell me #anon #asks

12 notes · View notes

angrylizardjacket · 5 years

Text

people change {Vince Neil}

@champagneandspice asked: hey! I adore your writing!!! could u please do a one shot but in the form of an article ? you’d be writing it as if you worked for people magazine or something like that. could u pls write ab the “speculated rumors” ab vince and I dating are true?? u could insert pictures or whatever u like. thank u <3

A/N: 2065 words. I love!! This style!! Of Writing!! also probably not what you were asking for, but i had fun and i hope you do too. i really sort of like this world/reader persona i’ve built?? i even added a few pictures for effect lmao. hope it’s enjoyable. i don’t usually do tags for one-shots but @cosmicsskies and @crazylittlethingcalledobsession asked and im too giddy to refuse.

WHAT THE F*** DO YOU THINK? - Mötley Crüe singer Vince Neil and Joan Jett & The Blackhearts newest guitarist Y/N Y/L/N spotted getting cosy after Crüe’s Atlanta show last Saturday? Does this hint at a collaboration between two bands, or is this more personal than professional? [Read more on Page 10...]

“What the f*** do you think?”

If you’re a woman working in or around the rock and roll music scene in the past half a decade, you’ve probably heard these words, or some variation of them, if you’ve come within a ten foot radius of the glam metal juggernauts Mötley Crüe; Nikki Sixx, Tommy Lee, Mick Mars, and their blonde, boyish singer Vince Neil. They’re crass by reputation, however this is unsurprisingly true to life, though if you were interested in reading an expose regarding the number of gigs they’ve done while high, or how many hotel rooms they’ve set fire to, there’s innumerable gossip rags and magazines covering those particular scandals, including at least two Rolling Stone articles in the past two years, and we’re not here to retell old stories.

When attending their concert in Atlanta last week, which I highly recommend; if given the opportunity, and you enjoy their music, see Mötley Crüe live, they give an almost unparalleled live performance, in my humble opinion as a music journalist of almost a decade, I was fortunately privy to the moment that sparked debate and controversy within the rock music gossip sphere. After the show, while I was made to wait at the stage door, their manager Doc Mcghee was kind enough to invite me to the afterparty. There, at the stage door, restless fans were held at bay, young men in black leather pants, emulating their idols, young women in barely anything at all, there to catch attention and garner the same invitation that I had received, and when the band themselves appear, it’s as if the gates of Hell had opened; the screaming I heard, ladies and gentleman.

First through the doors is Mars, already looking like he needs a shot or a nap, and he dodges more than one bra thrown his way, giving me a longsuffering look as he passes. To be that exhausted by fame is on a level I can’t even begin to comprehend. He’s on the tour bus which will take us to the hotel bar for drinks almost before anyone else is even out of the building.

Next comes what the fans have affectionately dubbed ‘The Terror Twins’, Sixx and Lee, both carrying a beer each, followed by several very pretty women who head to the bus whilst the musicians take the time to say high to their fans, signing various body parts and generally taking the time to interact with the more hardcore of their following who were waiting in the cold night air. They’re enough of a distraction that one might have missed the final band member, Vince Neil, laying uncharacteristically low, and who had actually been preceded by a surprising figure; Y/N Y/L/N, the most recent addition to Joan Jett & The Blackhearts as their rhythm guitarist.

And this, dear readers, is the moment I decide to write the first gossip piece of my life.

As someone who regularly set fire to the copies of Hollywood Star my then-housemate had been getting delivered to our apartment back when I first began my journalistic career, the idea of writing an article based on speculation about the sexual conduct of celebrities was an idea I rejected out of hand. I’d told myself I had integrity.

But then my proto-punk loving heart betrayed me, as I recalled Y/L/N’s lyrics from my favourite song of her’s, Sucker Punch, ‘speculate / scream my name / my heart, my love, baby it’s a game / they call me heartless, fancy-free / as if anyone’s meant something to a girl like me’. Y/L/N has been credited as the sole writer for the single, under her band at the time, Nuclear Patricide, who had garnered a cult following that has been credited as an idol for Joan Jett herself. After the Nuclear Patricide’s split in early ‘83, it’s been relative radio silence from the writer and lead guitarist until Joan Jett & The Blackhearts announce her as their newest addition, and she’s been with them for almost two years since.

[ID: Stills from Nuclear Patricide’s music video for Sucker Punch, 1980, known for the appearance of then-break out star Jamie Lee-Curtis. Editor’s Note: Y/L/N did not appear in the music video herself.]

So, upon seeing Y/L/N trying to keep a low profile whilst exiting a gig she clearly was not playing at, without any of her own bandmates to keep her company, I must confess I began to wonder, to speculate about the nature of her relationship with Mötley Crüe. She’s adamantly and publicly denounced romantic relationships in her work and in her public appearances up until her split from her original band, so has anything changed in the past few years?

Back at the hotel, I find myself weaving in amongst groupies and fanboys. My dark jeans and leather jacket act as a camouflage in this den of debauchery; I’ve worn professional clothing to this kind of thing before, and it usually doesn’t go over well; if the band sees a reporter there’s a sense of immediate hostility in what’s meant to be a safe space, relatively speaking, however, I’ve found that blending in, and making it clear I’m not on the offensive makes them drop their guard enough that they’ll give an honest interview.

At least until a pretty girl walks past.

Neil and Y/L/N are nowhere to be spotted as I finally take a seat with a table that has neither cocaine nor a woman on it, and once I’ve ordered a drink and looked over my notes, someone actually joins me of their own accord. It’s Tommy Lee, who, to my surprise, recognises me from the last time Crüe had played in town.

He talks about the tour, about how exciting it’s been and how he loves Atlanta, but he’s losing focus very quickly, not surprisingly since his name is being called by other tables every few moments, and there’s a faint dusting of telltale white powder around his nose. He promises ‘see you ‘round’ [sic] and then he’s off again. However, it’s as he leaves that I spot Y/N coming from a room by the back of the bar, and I make my move.

Mars has, as I’ve been told, already retired for the night, Lee is up to his eyes in cocaine, Sixx already has his dick out under his table judging by the look of him, and Neil is surprisingly MIA, so Y/L/N is easy to spot as the odd one out.

Not nearly as f***ed up or strung out as the rest of them, I watch her order a jack and coke, and down the drink mere moments after receiving it, before she turns to me. It takes her barely a second before she correctly identifies me as a reporter. I ask if she remembers meeting me, back in ‘82, she says no, but that she can pick a reporter from a mile away.

People still fawn over her, pretty girls and pretty boys alike, her aloofness drawing them in, and I’d forgotten how overwhelming it was to be this close to her. She kicks a fanboy and a groupie who are messily groping each other out of a booth and we take their seats.

This is meant to be about Mötley Crüe, and I try to tell her as such, but she just gives me a thin smile.

“Then why did you come find me?”

And she gives me that stare, you know, the one from the cover of Nuclear Patricide’s final album, Treason Is A Girl’s Best Friend. It’s that piercing stare of hers that makes you feel like she knows everything you’ve ever done wrong in your life.

I ask about her relationship with Mötley Crüe, and to my relief she looks away.

She’s candid about admitting she’s travelling with them, but not touring, right up until I ask her about her relationship with each member of the band specifically.

“Mick’s fun; he’s very talented and easily riled up. They’re all very talented of course, but Mick’s dynamic, [because] of his age and everything, is interesting within the group [sic] and I enjoy watching it all play out. He’s smacked Tommy a few times.” I’m assured that nine times out of ten he deserved it.

She’s filled with glowing praise for both Sixx and Lee in turn, and even Doc Mcghee, but Neil she is oddly silent about. He’s the first of the band she’d met; he’d seen her play a few times with The Blackhearts and has admitted to enjoying her work in previous interviews when she’s been brought up, as the pair have been spotted together before. Well, she’s been spotted with the band before. Here is where she starts, to my surprise, to get antsy. So the rumours, which I had thought to be incredibly false given her history and general attitude, have more basis than she likes to let on.

And then she gets defensive.

He’s like cocaine; everyone’s doing him, it’s just the industry; no-one’s going to judge her for a fling. She does not appear to take comfort in the sentiment.

“People change.”

I ask her what she means. She refuses to clarify and leaves. Perhaps I pushed too far, but now I feel like a detective, and like I only have one more person I need to talk to. But perhaps I should have eased myself into talking about Y/L/N to Vince himself, but I’ll have to admit, between Y/L/N leaving and finding Neil, I may have done a bit of socialising with Sixx, which I recommend recreationally, and also if you have a high tolerance for most things.

“I don’t think we’re any of your f***ing business.”

Neil does not mess around, and apparently she’d already spoken to him about our earlier meeting. I leave it be, spend the night enjoying the festivities with Sixx and Lee when I can, leaving just before the sun comes up.

Some of you may be thinking this is dissatisfying, that you came into this article wanting me to confirm or dismiss the speculated relationship between Vince Neil and Y/N Y/L/N, but I can’t. Neither of them would speak to me, and I can only leave you with a list of things I saw that night, and you can make up your own mind.

- The room Y/L/N had exited from when I first spotted her is the same room Neil left less than five minutes later as we were talking. I went to investigate later; it’s a supply closet.

- After my encounter with Neil, and I’d stayed clear of them, whenever I would spot either of them, the other was almost always within arm’s reach. Make of that what you will.

- He definitely did a line of coke off her thigh at about three in the morning.

- I asked both Sixx and Lee about it. Lee’s response was ‘loud’ with something akin to a knowing smirk, and Sixx’s was ‘he’s a lucky bastard’ and when I ask him to clarify he just says ‘flexible’ and climbs to the next booth over where they’ve been asking him to do a line; I’m not even sure what to make of it, but personally I think it’s pretty damning.

- Readers, they were all over each other, I apologise for throwing my professionalism out the window for a moment, but if I’m being honest I couldn’t look to a secluded corner of the room without there being a 40% chance of seeing Vince and Y/N. It got worse as the night went on. Believe me.

So, while I don’t believe there is set to be a collaboration between Joan Jett and Mötley Crüe, I do come baring good news for those fans who had been speculating regarding Y/L/N’s relationship with the hair metal band’s lead singer. So are they together? Are they dating? Though neither party will publicly state anything, I’ll leave you with my thoughts, my observations, and the oft spoke words of the man himself;

What the f*** do you think?

#vince neil #vince neil x reader #vince neil imagine #motley crue #the dirt #the dirt imagine #motley crue imagine #nikki sixx #tommy lee #mick mars #the angry lizard writes

221 notes · View notes

nerdwholikesword · 5 years

Text

What If I Never Get Over You Part 1

So this is going to be a 2 parter of more as i haven't finished it yet. But here is my first piece of fanfiction.

John X reader

This is an AU

Professor!John x Past!Student Reader

John Winchester is the reason why in the 95 degree heat outside in the middle of summer in Lebanon, Kansas that you are stuck inside in the dark watching crappy romance movies. That stupid, idiotic, beautiful man broke your heart, all because he was afraid of people would think. i mean i get it i really do, the gap between is huge but who cares?

John Winchester is a coward.

John was sitting in his office staring off into space when the phone rang.

“Hello professor Winchester speaking”

He must have listened to the Dean of the college bulshit on for a good 45 minutes before he got a word in. Chuck Shurly wasn't a man who needed a reply when speaking, half the time a grunt would suffice.

“Look Chuck I’m a bit busy a the moment, if i say yes to attending this fundraiser will you leave me alone?” John asked growing more agitated by the second.

“Jesus John you okay pal? that doesn't really sound like you”

God damn chuck for picking this moment to become concerned about me.

“Sorry chuck just a rough day is all. I’ll say goodbye now if you don’t mind”

John didn't even give him the chance to reply before he hung up.

Since the argument he had with Y/N a couple of nights ago he couldn't and didn't want to think about anything else expect his girl and how he had fucked up.

He cant get the look of absolute pain and anger on her face out of his head. No amount of alcohol could make him close his eyes without replaying that scene in his head.

A few nights ago

John watched as Y/N got into the car. She wasn't too happy with the subject of their dinner. Even though she hadn't been his student for 6 months now, in fact she wasn't anyone's student for 6 months as she had finally graduated. John still wanted to keep their relationship a secret for a little longer. They had kept is quite for a year and a half already.How they weren't sure but people who did know didn't seem to mind so Y/N didn't understand this new revelation.

Y/N stormed up the steps to Johns apartment. she opened the door and closed it before he could get in.

She was so fucking mad.

The Door opened and closed behind her meaning her dear old boyfriend had come in.

“ Sweetheart?” john asked very carefully

“ Oh its still sweetheart is it? thought maybe you'd just call me Y/N from now on to stop people from getting suspicious of our relationship. Are you really that ashamed of me that you want nobody to know i’m yours?” Y/N said. tears pooling in her eyes.

“ Baby you know that is not it, of course that not fucking it!” John was getting mad now too.

“sure fucking seems like it John!! You want another 6 months of having to hide out in your apartment or going to restaurants outside the Goddamn town!” Y/N yells

John doesn't say anything back at first he just moves further inside the apartment and walks towards the drinks cabinet to pour the both of them a stiff drink. He knows by now better than to come at Y/N straight away when shes feeling like this. even giving her a few minutes to calm down and it hopefully wouldn't turn into a shouting match between them.

Y/N went to change out of the clothes she wore to dinner muttering under her breath that john being quiet and pouring them a drink was not going to stop her from saying what she thought and if that included screaming at john then so be it.

Y/N walked into the living room and john was already sitting down sipping on a whiskey, one on the table for her she presumed. Y/N ignored the drink and sat down across from him. She was not letting this go yet again. the had spent months arguing over this, there wasn't a reason anymore for hiding anymore.

“Baby Girl before this escalates i’m going to clear up a few things okay? “ johns asks Y/N and proceeds when he gives a slight nod in his direction. Ooh baby girl is pushing it tonight

“Y/N i am not nor will i ever be ashamed for being with you. I love you. So fucking much. i just want to slowly ease our family and friends into it, into being okay with us. You saw what happened tonight -

“God John really? is that what this is about? Some old woman who we don’t know assumed i was your daughter? News - fucking -flash babe she wont be the last to think that!”

John doesn’t want to fight. All he wanted was a nice meal with his girl and come home and chill. Hell he wasn't even thinking any of the fucked up thoughts in his head right now until that fucking old bag opened her mouth. he cant help but think hes too old for this shit.

“Y/N i just think we should wait a little bit longer is all, C’mon baby please don’t be mad.”

“ John I've spent the last 15 months hiding, i cant do it anymore. Im 26 years old. I have made my mind up along time ago. Its you for me. Always will be.I don't care what anyone thinks, please don't do what i think your going to do.” Y/N begged.

She knew John like the back of her hand and could tell the awful things running through his head right now. Things like how he was too old for her, or how people would judge her and how she deserves someone younger who can give her a family. John always said he did the whole children thing already with his boys and wouldn't do again now he was older.

“John if your bringing all this shit up again because you think i deserve better or someone younger then you need to stop this. “ Y/N pleaded with him .

She got up off the chair and walked over to John and stood between his opened legs.

“ Baby don't do this okay? This is what i want. I told you i was fine with no Kids”

“THAT'S THE GOD DAMN THING Y/N, you shouldn't have to be okay with no having fucking children because your with an old man” John told her pushing her away and getting up from his seat.

Y/N ran after him to the kitchen, begging him and trying to get him to see sense.

“ But i did fall in love with and older man, John i knew going into this what that could mean.” she whispers, half afraid he can't hear her.

There’s a moment of silence between them that stretches a bit too long. Y/N knows then what's coming. He's made his mind up for her. Her opinion and feelings bedamned.

“Y/N - I can't do this anymore”

Part 2

Please don't forget to share and reblog.

I would love a comment.

#john winchester x reader #john winchester #professor!john #Professeor Winchester #John x reader #SPN FANDOM #spn fanfiction #SPN #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #long reads #fanfic #JDM #jdm x reader

58 notes · View notes

deviant-hunter-rk800 · 6 years

Text

Break

—Someone’s broken in. Connor is the first person you think to call. But what will he choose?—

A/N: IM BACK!! So this has been on my mind forever now, and I’m so excited it’s finally done!! Please let me know what you think of it!

Warnings: kinda fluffy Connor, swearing, blood, fighting, angsty

“Goddamnit, Kyle!” You rake a hand through your hair, sighing through gritted teeth. “You’re kidding, right? There’s no damn way-”

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he says tiredly, “there’s nothing I can do.”

Clenching your jaw, you hang up, nearly throwing your phone across the room. You shake your head, wanting very badly to hit something. A headache quickly forms as you mutter curses.

“Thought you were an officer, not a sailor,” Gavin taunts, laughing as he props his feet up on his desk.

“Fuck off, Reed,” you snarl, “or so help me I will shut you up myself.”

He rocks back, laughing even harder at your sour mood. Without warning, you grab the nearest object which happens to be a pencil. He jumps as you bring it down towards his shin, barely missing your mark as he crashes to the floor.

“Crazy bitch,” he mutters, rubbing the back of his head. He slowly stands up, backing away from you. He’s a good ten yards away before he turns towards the door.

“Don’t get me wrong,” someone says. Turning, you recognize Hank and Connor walking towards you, the older man smiling. “Seeing Gavin nearly get shanked brings me great joy,” he sits on your desk, taking the pencil from your clenched fist, “but you could’ve at least used a pen.”

You sigh, picking at your desk. “Don’t judge,” you mutter, “could’ve gotten lead in his blood. Made ‘im real sick.”

“She does have a point,” Connor agrees. Your lips twitch at his pun. Looking up at him, a timid smile pulls at his lips. “I thought it would help your mood.”

“But you’re just gonna ignore she tried to stab Reed?” Hank shakes his head, rolling his eyes. “Oh. Okay.”

Connor blinks, head tilting to the side. “I assumed her actions were a side effect of her fever.”

“Fever?” You and Hank say simultaneously. You don’t break eye contact with Connor as you lean towards the older man. “Jinx. You owe me a coffee.”

Hank’s head turns fast, scowling at the side of your face accusingly. You smile innocently at Connor despite the two holes being bore into your head. His brows furrow at your actions.

“You never get sick,” Hank says, the frown tipping into concern, “and now you’ve got a fever?”

“It’s not severe, Lieutenant,” Connor interrupts, “her body temperature is only at ninety nine point-”

“But you don’t get sick,” he repeats.

“Long story short,” you sigh, leaning back in your chair, “I’ll be staying at a motel for a month or so cause the pipes in my apartment building froze.”

Both Hank and Connor’s brows raise. “Holy shit, kid.”

“Yeah,” you mutter, resting your head in your hand. “Kyle — the shitty landlord? — says he can’t get anybody to come look at it for a couple weeks.”

“Why not ditch the motel?” Hank places a hand on your shoulder. “Stay with us till the shit gets fixed.”

“Hank-“

He rolls his eyes, cutting you off with a wave of his hand. “Oh c’mon, Y/L/N. I’ll even make pancakes.”

You chew your lip, considering his offer. Bunk with an old cop, his dog, and a cute android? It wasn’t the worst idea. It definitely beat getting some disease from mysterious stains in a broke down motel.

“Alright,” you say finally.

Hank smiles, a dimple pressing into his cheek. He ruffles your hair. “Alright.”

The squeal of brakes from a train echoes distantly accompanied by three solid knocks on the door. Sumo pick his head up off your lap, giving a soft woof. Setting your book down on the nightstand, you scratch his ears, earning a couple whumps of his tail against the bed.

“It’s okay, buddy,” you coo sweetly. You manage to free your legs of the blankets as the saint bernard settles again. Using your foot to swing the door open, you tie up your hair, quietly padding down the hallway.

You’ve just rounded the corner when the handle jostles. You hesitate, holding your breath as muffled curses make their way through the door. Goosebumps rise on your skin. A thousand thoughts flood your mind, the scariest one being, That’s not Hank.

The lock clicks. “Fuck,” you snap, your voice a whisper.

The door swings open, it’s handle denting the drywall as two men push through. You lock eyes with the first man, the two of you standing shell shocked for half a breath. The second, the younger looking with a heavy bruise on his cheekbone, slaps the first.

“Fuckin grab her!” He shouts, slamming the door shut. And just like that, the standoff comes to a jagged end, the first guy lunging at you, his cigarette stained teeth bared.

Grabbing his wrist, you twist his arm to the side, driving the heel of your palm into his nose. Losing his balance, he topples backwards. The second man reaches out, but with a rush of fur blurring by, Sumo latches his teeth into his arm.

“Sumo!” Cigarette Teeth seizes your moment of distraction and get you in a headlock, his forearm held tightly against your throat. Bruise punches the dog in his ribs before throwing him off. “No!”

He adrenaline coursing through you hinders rather than help, turning your motions frantic as you scratch and scream; your fingernails leave angry, red welts across his skin. Bruise moves forward. You bring your knees to your chest, a savage growl pushing through gritted teeth as you kick him in his stomach. The loss of his footing sends him to the floor, his face meeting the wood with a loud thump!

“Jesus, fuck,” the man holding you grunts, an undertone of fear taking over his words.

The slamming of your heel on the arch of his foot paired with the whip of your head against his already bleeding nose earns a well deserved howl of pain.

Finally able to slip from his grasp, you kick Cigarette Teeth in his knee, watching him drop to the floor with a loud cry. You grab the nearest object — a book off one of the many shelves — and bring its spine down across his temple. With a groan, he crumples to the ground.

“Sumo,” you murmur hoarsely, chest heaving. You quickly fall to your knees, gingerly running your hands across his fur, turning his head towards you. “Are you okay? Fuck.”

His tail wags lightly, letting out a small whine. You whip your head to see Bruise pushing himself up with a groan. Quickly looking at your options, you stand up.

“C’mon, boy,” you urge, helping the large dog limp towards the bedroom. “Good boy! Just a little more! C’mon!”

Slamming the door, you rip the chair from the desk, lodging it beneath the door’s handle. You grab your phone from the nightstand, your book long forgotten. Sumo growls.

“I know, buddy,” you say weakly, scrolling hurriedly through your contacts. 1-800-CYBERLIFE comes into view and you hit dial. “C’mon, Connor. Pick up! Pick up!”

A rumble from the other side of the door. Sumo, crouching low, bares his teeth. You back away.

Click.

“Connor?!”

“Why is it,” Hank says dully, “that every time we gotta go chase some fuckin dead end, it’s always at some creepy, abandoned, probably haunted building?”

“If it’s any consolation, the likelihood that this building is haunted is very low.” Hank turns slow at Connor’s remark, glaring at the android with a dangerous look in his eye. Connor tilts his head. “Would you prefer rat infested?”

Hank narrows his eyes, grimacing nonetheless. “I fuckin hate you.”

Connor can’t help the faintest shadow of a smile that tugs at his lips. With a shake of his head, Hank’s attention returns to the warehouse, the rusted sign worn beyond recognition. At least to the human eye; there was still enough residue from the paint for the RK800 to confirm the location, despite the many years.

“I know you do, lieutenant.”

A middle finger is thrown over the older mans shoulder. His free hand taking hold of the door handle, he draws his weapon. Dust kicks up at their feet, the squeal of the hinges echoing off the graffitied walls.

Quiet steps are placed carefully amongst broken glass. Hank pulls one hand from the grip of his gun, his pointer finger aimed at the ceiling, drawing a circle into the air. Connor follows the order, scanning the small room with a flick of his eyes. The disturbance of dirt trailing through the door on the opposite wall is highlighted.

“There,” he says quietly, jutting his chin. Anderson takes the lead.

With the ceiling half collapsed on itself, rusted cross beams hang dangerously low, the sunken roof giving way to a darkened sky. The moonlight — one drag from an old cigar away from hazy — makes the room glow. Hank’s hand lays flat, making a sweeping motion towards the right side of the warehouse. Silently, Connor tips his head.

Parting from one another, each officer carefully makes their way through the building, scanning and searching for leads. Connor ducks beneath a shelving unit, one hand resting on the wall as he maneuvers quietly. He’s sure to miss the rebar haphazardly sticking out from the floor. He stands, but not before the remnants of a bloodstain is highlighted by his sensors.

Walsh, Chris

3 days old

Suspect is injured.

His record is littered with aggravated assault, theft, multiple drug charges, and battery. Violence is nothing new to Walsh, and from previous statements, he finds a certain appeal to the chaos. Got caught more than once, but was often let out on good behavior. There’s a soft curse from the other side of the building, Hank’s flashlight piercing the veiled darkness.

Scanners highlighting an otherwise dark corner, Connor finds himself standing in something akin to a home; a rat’s nest composed of unwanted trash, the bed nothing more than stained cardboard with a tattered and worn sweatshirt acting as a blanket. The android — clean and tidy in every sense of the word, with only a few strands of hair out of place — is so very juxtaposed to his surroundings. Crouching, Connor tilts his head left, eyes darting about for a trace of the suspect. There, on a soda can tipped on its side, it’s contents half spilt onto the floor, are smudges of fingerprints.

Walsh, Chris

7 hours old

“He’s been here, lieutenant,” he calls out. But the answer doesn’t come.

Looking over his shoulder, he stands slowly, carefully awaiting a smart comment or a grumble of disapproval, but there’s only the wind, a distant siren from somewhere in the city, and the tremble of a loaded gun.

“Lieutenant?”

Connor listens, sensors heightened to a degree, he isolates Hank’s heartbeat. It’s slow, steady, and it’s not the only one. The second pulse is wild, barely tamed by ragged breathing. Straightening, the android begins to move.

“Chris Walsh.” His voice is loud in the hollow building, smooth and demanding; dangerous on a calculated level. “Detroit Police, show yourself.”

Keeping the wall to his right, Connor silently makes his way towards Anderson, finding him on his side. The android drops, assessing the remnants of ketamine in an abandoned syringe, a needle mark in the man’s arm. A bruise begins to blossom on his neck, the ugly shade of purple dark against the silvery beard.

Connor grits his teeth, a half contained, “Shit,” escaping him. He radios in to the precinct.

Code 243, 11-41. Officer down.

A frustrated howl rips through the air, the ring of a gunshot piercing. “Where the fuck are you?!”

11-99. 1083 Wilson Avenue. Repeat: 11-99.

Ducking away from the unconscious officer, Connor finds the suspect standing in the spotlight of the broken roof, his eyes darting frantically. Given the levels of chemicals in the man’s system, Connor estimates Hank will wake up in two minutes and forty seven seconds. The android is several paces away before speaking.

“Chris-“ the suspect’s eyes find a spot in the darkness, gun pointed at the yellow — now red — ring of light “-put the gun down.”

“I could- I could kill you! Right now!”

The light touches Connor’s skin, and Walsh jumps. The shadows peel back with every slow step. “No,” the android says flatly, “you can’t.”

“I’m the one with a gun!” Connor nods, not furthering his agreement. The suspect’s hand shakes, a tremor wracking his entire being. “There’s laws! Androids they-“ a shake of his head “-they can’t have weapons!”

“You’re right.” Hesitation. A smooth step closer. “There are laws. Plenty of which you’ve broken.”

Walsh bares his teeth. Knuckles pale against the black steel, he adjusts his grip, uncomfortable with its weight. Connor begins to circle him. Walsh turns in his place, frantic eyes never leaving the android.

Connor, as calm as he is efficient, watches the suspect, easily filing away every flaw. He’s dissecting him from five yards away. The bandage haphazardly wrapped around his bicep, the bloodstain dark, is most noticeable. Chris is ramabling by now — a desperate attempt at justifying his actions.

“I’m- I’m sorry, okay? I never wanted- he owed me!” His pleas go unheard. “I didn’t have- have a choice!”

Estimated time of awakening for Lt. Anderson: fifty three seconds.

Reinforcements estimated time of arrival: three minutes and fourteen seconds.

Attack: 86% chance of success

Without further thought, Connor lunges forward. The gun goes off, missing it’s mark by inches and with a dramatic clatter, it skids across the floor. Programming takes over his movements; a dog, trained to be unforgivingly vicious. And Chris – poor, poor Chris – was the cat.

A whir of mechanisms within the android urge his movements, ducking beneath a wid swing. In turn, a knee is brought to the fugitive’s stomach, folding him over with a grunt of pain. Locking his jaw, a determined look settles on his face. He wraps his arms around Connor, lifting him off the ground and tackling him into a nearby shelving unit.

The pressure on his biocomponents is unwelcome and earns a groan. Walsh takes hold of the android’s shoulders, spinning him, and driving his head into the corner of the shelf. Blue blood easily spills. Before another blow can befall him, Connor braces himself, pushing back against Walsh’s hold. But he still has his momentum and slams his own nose into the android’s elbow.

He cradles his now broken nose, blood quickly flowing between his fingers. Connor turns. LED still a blaring red, thirium drips from his left brow, the liquid following the shape of his eye socket before rolling over his cheekbone and dripping off his jaw. If he needed to breathe, his chest would be heaving. He makes no effort to fix his crumpled (and now stained) shirt nor straighten his tie. Disheveled but nowhere near distraught, he suddenly fits his surroundings.

Incoming call: Detective Y/L/N.

He answers, hesitating when he hears a hushed yet frantic, “Connor?!”

“Detective?” His mouth doesn’t move, but his voice rings through all the same. You let out a choked breath. “I thought you-“

“I need your help,” you cut him off.

He can’t see you flinch at the pounding of the door, but he can hear the fear in your voice. Hank, from the other side of the room, groans.

“Now may not be the best time, Detective.”

His answer is cold, but Walsh is eyes the door behind him, feet shifting.

“Please! Please!” A fleeting thought occurs to him that’s he’s never seen, let alone heard, you cry. “Two guys broke in, Con. They’re twice-“ your voice cracks “-twice my size and I don’t think I can hold them off.”

Sirens close in around the building. Had the call not been directly wired into his head, he would’ve missed the way your voice died at the end. Walsh’s finger wrap deftly around an iron rod. Raising it above his head, he takes a swing which Connor narrowly misses.

“What is it they want?”

“I don’t know!” Venom taints your tone. “Lemme ask em real quick!”

Chris recovers, bringing the rod over Connor’s throat, forcing him to bend backwards if only slightly.

“Think, Y/N.” The android brings his elbow to the man’s rib cage, but his grip is firm. “How do you get out of this?”

There’s true terror in your voice now. “I don’t know! Connor, please! I need-“

You’re cut off by your own yelp, the door finally giving way, splinters flying. Sumo barks wildly. There’s a thud, the scuffle of feet, and the sounds of a fight.

“Detective?”

Now he’s worried. Hell, he’s scared. Flashlights flood the room and Walsh’s head snaps to the source. Panicking, he drops the rod all together, taking off towards the back corner.

“Y/N?!”

He says it out loud this time, but there’s no response. There’s a loud crack within his own head, followed by a sickening thump of something heavy hitting the carpet.

Time slows – no, it feels like it slows. Damn near coming to a halt as the sight of Walsh’s back, his feet carrying him towards freedom. But there’s also the silence that he so desperately wishes would leave him; an ache to hear your laugh, saying it was all a joke. It doesn’t come, and with one of Sumo’s cries cut short, he knows something is terribly wrong.

And yet, he hesitates.

[X] SAVE HER

[O] CHASE SUSPECT

Want to join the revolution? Send me a message!

Break Series:

@nayscharacterstrash

Current Deviants:

@teigra @emwara123 @divadonadance1 @onceuponagleepottermindlock @suicidal-crazy-lions @watchoutforfrostbite @unlikelybreadtimemachine @maddiemourns @w-van-derlust @internalplight @layinglonely @captain-winter-wolf-aehs @yallgotkik @connorshero

(If something went screwy in your programming, and your tag didn’t work, let me know!)

#connor #rk800 #connor rk800 #connor rk800 x reader #x reader #reader insert #hank #hank anderson #gavin reed #break #rA9

126 notes · View notes

01010010-posts · 6 years

Note

I need headcanons about your human rk900 pronto. He sounds delightful!

i have a lot of asks to reply to but i couldn’t sleep today because i was already answering to this in my head THANK U to give me this opportunity to talk about my bitch™we’ll break him down point by point slowly:he’s the youngest of the trio, born probably after a year or two. he’s a little prince. connor&60 are twins, yes, they experienced some ‘childish rivarly’ but never jealousy. they’re the same. maybe without RK900′s birth they would have hated each other in some weird and difficult way but he’s here, so they form a coalition against this ‘change’ (more connor than 60, he’s the mischievous one when little). connor&60 relationship gets kinda morbid. they tease him a lot because they’re older and because he has all the attention. nothing new in babye’s behaviour, just something that will go away when they all grow up. except it doesn’t. and really it’s not their fault, most of the time kids aren’t inherently evil but adults are. well, if you want to call amanda ‘evil’. because she’s not inherently evil either– she’s just herself. which is a kind of bad self towards connor&60&RK900 but i think, i guess, i hope, she never meant harm to them. anyway. she adopts them at some point. (are their parents dead? is she their aunt? distant relative?) 5 for the twins and 3 / 4 for RK900 would make sense. it’s a trauma of course. connor&60 lash out at any given time, they don’t want to be there. they’re moody, connor is somewhat violent with others, 60 cries a lot. RK900 is…. nothing. at 3 you haven’t even properly started to be a person yet. you’re aware of yourself in the moment but that doesn’t count, since usually ‘memory’ and ‘the awareness of self’ are kinda the same, and at 3 there’s very few things you remember in retrospective. especially at 4, for some reason, it’s difficult to remember when you were 4. (for the records infantile amnesia & false memories are v interesting things!). tho that depends on person and on events (deaths should be well carved in your brain, even at a chemical level). and were RK900 to remember these fragments it is said that the emotional attachment would be very low. (see?? im studying for my kids exam!!! im that bitch!!).amanda cares for them, though her ‘idea’ of caring never includes emotional support. which should never lack to anyone, less to three kids without their parents. she tries to raise them to her best (amanda as a ‘mother’ is a nice comparison to her game’s role imo, there too she acts as someone who watches over connor) but kinda takes connor&60 for ‘lost causes’ pretty soon. they remember their parents, she will never be a replacement for them. they know. she knows. RK900 doesn’t know. he can’t. never got to know them enough. they don’t know. she knows. she focuses much more on RK900, shaping him right from the start into what she thinks is one should be. he doesn’t mind, amanda’s all he gets to call ‘mother’. he feels that he’s doing something wrong, his brothers make him understand that. they don’t want to play with him, don’t want to talk with him, they ignore him. connor blames him for everything as a scapegoat, he says caustic things to him. ‘look at your eyes.’ ‘i don’t have a brother, i don’t know you.’ ‘you’re probably someone else’s and i hate you.’ 60 does too until he realizes that RK900 doesn’t deserve this. he concludes that, were they to hate someone, it should be amanda. but never says so. they grow up. there’s lots of negative feelings. connor hates amanda and RK900, hardly stands 60. 60 would like to adapt and learn to love everyone in this ‘family’ but it’s impossible in this environment. RK900 has self-esteem and guilt problems, he obeys whatever amanda says because he knows no better and gains the only name connor will call him for a long time ‘pet’. amanda is: a rather complicated character here. she’s somewhat neutral, she doesn’t hate connor nor 60 nor RK900, her actions are never dictated by resentment, despite these children were basically dumped in front of her home. but then again she’s not guided by love either. i think her only fault was not picking a side (sloth?). but then again this is not a ‘fault’ at the 100%. can’t force someone to love someone they don’t, especially in such situation. which is why, in some way, even when openly against her, connor&60 still seek her approval. probably, if she recognized their efforts without betting everything on RK900 and comparing him to them they would have been more at peace.during their high-school/college years connor decides to cut off ties. he’s going to be free. leaving everything behind. 60 is torn. he can be with amanda and RK900, accepting his never-ending future of being second. or he can be what he’s always been, connor’s shadow. but at least connor lets him do what he wants. one night connor has a bad argument with amanda (no, she never raises her voice, but he sure does) and storms off into his room. (they have 3 rooms but 60 can’t really sleep when alone so he’s almost always in connor’s, begging him to sleep together, that he will be invisible, that he will put his pillow at the end of the bed and be quiet and rest in the opposite position as connor. connor is lowkey annoyed but he has nightmares often (which get worse after cole) and 60 is a nice presence so he just says ‘you’re a hopeless gay AND if you touch my dick i’ll kill you’) 60 goes to him to talk but sees that he’s putting clean clothes in a bag. 60′s able to convince him to not be so stupid but connor warns him ‘as soon as a i can i’ll leave this place and you’ll have to decide, either you’re with me or you’re with them’. 60 knows he’s not joking. and the day connor’s ready to go away and start college he follows him. they live together for some time. connor has always wanted to be a detective (a child’s dream, pure). he puts everything he’s got. he’s good. 60 is lost. finds himself in clubs and with ‘bad’ people. he earns some easy money. he thinks he can live a carefree life forever. he starts to bring weird guests to his and connor’s apartment. smokes pot few times. connor is slowly back on being a person without problems (in his mind, since amanda&RK900 were the problems) so he doesn’t want to put up with his twin’s antics. he kinda kicks him out. 60 gets a little worse. more lost. gets a place with two sex workers (a drag and a prostitute). they take care of him in some ways. he understands that this is not how he should behave. he attempts to be better. he’s still lost. he realizes how his life has always been ‘connor is selfish but he’s good, so i will protect him’ and how little he knows of himself. he has…. been erasing himself more and more in connor’s favor. he has subconciously been the wall between his rage and amanda’s nothing. he’s still lost. he starts his rapport with connor again. he’s in awe at how good his twin has become. he has friends. he has good grades. 60′s happy that he has finally become the person he should have been. he’s so content he decides he wants to be a detective too. connor’s this close to punch him and probably does at some point since every one of them has a different perception of physical contact (connor’s one is angry, 60′s is sensual, RK900′s nonexistent). but 60′s okay with that. he’s always been someone that gets hurt and smiles. it’s just another of their rocky beginnings. 60 is almost found.RK900 in the meanwhile…. is both alone & lonely. he has a hard understanding of the world; he knows everything– in theory. but practical? none. his hands don’t do much if not writing and typing long essays. he studies a lot. that’s all he’s allowed to do and all he does. eventually he becomes detached. we’ll skip the evangelion part about his sexual needs and sexuality but to make it brief he’s not accustomed to himself. his body is too big, his shoulders too broad, his height too much. he loathes himself. he’s scared of himself. whenever someone compliments him about anything other than his grades he gets disgusted because in his brain is ingrained that that’s a lie. he hates his eyes more than anything. he wonders where he got them from. they’re his own personal curse. always reminding him his isolation. without brother, without twin, without mother. no one has blue in them. he never gets a girlfriend (not that he wouldn’t have a boyfriend, but even if he’s so huge he’s lowkey scared because he has not forgotten the bruises of connor’s fury on him and others) and keeps being a virgin (not even a first kiss) despite having many trying their luck with him, too sure he’s unlovable, too sure he’s somewhat bearing mankind first sin. he contemplated suicide. he’s insecure to the max. he finishes high-school. he could go to the best of colleges. he has a fine scholarship. amanda lets him know that the best option would be a very profitable profession. either politician or lawyer mhh no, no, prosecutor, judge? surgeon? he thinks about it. for a long time. 60, who kinda felt guilty about leaving like this and about not telling connor to stop with bullying him, texts him sometimes. he tells RK900 that connor wants to be a detective. he didn’t know. something happens. it’s a small thing. stupid, even. amanda probably makes a snide comment about connor. or wants to throw away what he left. he snaps. doesn’t say a thing but enrolls in the same cheap college as connor’s&60′s. he never felt anything until that moment. the feeling of being his own person, maker of his destiny; is both thrilling & frightful. amanda discovers when she asks him what he chose. he waits for a slap that never comes. it would have been cathartic. to finally be free, to rebel, and to be disowned and rejected. but amanda’s not stupid. while he closes his eyes she doesn’t hurt him. she only says ‘i’m disappointed’. that…. that doesn’t feel good as a slap would’ve. he’s terrified. but he can’t come back now. can’t rely on her anymore as she tells him he has two days to go away. he has done the wrong thing again. it’s not easy to accept that. he dies a little. he contemplates suicide again. he has his college tuition paid and his slice of his parents’ inheritance. he calls 60 crying. he can’t go to their apartment because connor would kill him. he’s alone. 60 tells him that there’s a cheap place where he can sleep. he goes there for a couple of days, 60 visits him, they have a chat, RK900 cries again and 60′s heart is so sad in seeing his red puffy eyes. he concludes that life’s not been so fair with them but they all made it more difficult by creating fake enemies in themselves. they search for an apartment together. RK900 settles his few things in there, it’s not the best and he has trouble being with other people but it’s okay for now. he starts to build his persona, he tries contacts, fake glasses, hobbies. he sees connor from time to time, but hides as soon as he comes near. he watches him from afar. for this reason he ends up attending a lot of crime-law related courses. he might as well take those exams since he still doesn’t know what to do. he gets good grades. he starts to like it. connor’s center of gravity is so heavy they all…. kinda copy him and become detectives. connor, at some point, gets 60 to spill the bean and acknowledges RK900 existence. he doesn’t care about him anymore. he’s a new person, he’s better, he’s free. RK900 never was his brother from day one. 60 is not okay with the whole situation but doesn’t think it’s a big thing, at least connor’s not livid and RK900 is fine.they all get to the DPD. it irks connor but he has an objective and he’s going to do whatever it takes, he’s going to be something. RK900 is pleased to be nothing. an ordinary detective, a police officer, whatever. he wants to take his time in living. peaceful. years pass & im very ignorant about police things in the usa so may have gotten the timeline wrong but i tried&searched believe me. they become detectives. connor always strives for a higher position. cole happens. cole dies. this happens. they continue their lives. RK900 gets promoted lieutenant instead of him. it’s hell.connor sees red. RK900 never wanted that. connor can’t think straight and in his mind it’s all his fault again, he wanted to ruin even this for him, never leaving him his piece of heaven for god knows why. RK900 tries to refuse, to explain to connor that he only wants to be some low rank and nothing else, he never meant to, to explain that connor’s the one who needs, who deserves this promotion. it’s no use. they get into a fight. well. connor gets into a fight. he punches RK900. RK900 falls to the ground. connor goes on top of him. 60 is distraught. attempts to stop connor the first time of his life because this, this is understandable but this is too much. it’s not his fault this time, it never was, and connor needs to grow the fuck up and forgive whatever has been eating him for decades. RK900 never reacted. but this time. this time he remembers, he knows. this time is not his fault. not the one to blame. sure, fate’s the one. but connor’s too, he too has the blame in his own destruction. these are the fruits. the catharsis that never came with amanda comes with him. RK900 punches connor back. time stops. everyone stop. he know what to do with his hands finally. then. times resumes. and they punch each other until they’re no longer able to stand. 60 cries. they’re kids still. and they’re all grounded. the punishment is: being themselves.RK900 has the habit of eating and spending his lunch break in the old archive. nobody uses it. there’s mostly file cases from long long time ago, still on paper. it’s quiet. and nobody looks at him. one day he’s taken aback because there’s someone else. he’s a bit annoyed he will have to find another place. he gets kindly informed that they’re the new part-timer that’s going to transfer these paper files into computer’s one. an android would have been too pricey. humans are the only thing one’s can afford sometimes. he asks if it’s okay for him to eat his lunch there that day. he’s welcome whenever he wants. he’s shy at first but does so. especially because there’s not another place calm enough. at some point they start to chat, he brings in work to share insights and so on. it’s his first friend. 60 discovers it. he pushes his brother to ditch the ‘i have a friend’ story, of course he’s in love. he isn’t. he doesn’t know what love means and he doesn’t want to know. 60 gives himself the role of cupid. of course he flirts with them. of course he does it only when RK900 is watching. it begins to be annoying. 60 doesn’t stop. RK900 is afraid that his only friend will become his brother’s partner or worse, his brother’s friend. and he knows that they won’t spend time with him again. and he’s sort of mad because he had one thing and everything was going fine. he was handling it alone. and nobody told him what to do for the first time. he doesn’t eat in the archive anymore. he spends his lunch break at the nearby park. nothing feels real. he contemplates suicide. his hands, his eyes, him. everything is wrong with him. he’s unable to ‘look’, just ‘watch’. in his vision things seem just faraway objects. he’s unable to ‘touch’, just ‘feel’. the sensations he gets aren’t his. they go to 60 and asks him if they ever did something bad because RK900 is avoiding them. 60 doesn’t know what to say, really. maybe he was the one to be wrong. 60 stops being 60. says to RK900 that he won’t bother him on this topic and please, please, forget about it and continue having whatever he was having. RK900 ponders about it for a while. his fragile friendship is destroyed. he can’t trust. but the next time he sees them he realizes that yes, he doesn’t think of friendship but something more. is this what 60 was talking about? love? he was jealous the whole time? yes, that, of course. but he was jealous in a romantic way? that shocks him. he’s an awkward mess of a man but they end up together and he’s happy for the first time. he doesn’t really love sex and he’s not used to it but it’s okay, it’s not an important thing in his relationship. probably will write something about him and his s/o and 60 asap. now i’m going to write nsfw and eat chips since this thing’s already 3000 words and tumblr’s crashing.

#DBH #dbh reverse AU #dbh human AU #dbh human connor #dbh human RK900 #dbh human RK800-60 #dbh human RK800 #detroit become human #dbh imagine #RK900 #RK800 #RK800-60 #dbh connor

79 notes · View notes