#and then not see me as a full fledged person with emotions and a life and ppl that care about me

[snekdood]

The worst thing is actually having the ability to see that people are more than what they show you online and then no one seeming to extend that same understanding or sympathy to me.

[mywitchyblog]

Reality Shifting and Race Changing Explained: A Deep and Comprehensive Analysis of the Practice through the Perspective of a Person of Color.

Introduction :

Reality shifting, a practice where individuals consciously move their awareness to alternate realities or dimensions, has gained significant popularity and attention. Within this phenomenon, race changing—where shifters assume a different racial identity in their Desired Reality (DR)—has become a particularly contentious topic. Proponents of race changing see it as a way to explore different perspectives, foster empathy, and experience personal growth. However, critics raise concerns about cultural appropriation, identity integrity, and ethical implications. This essay will delve into the shifter's perspective and debunk arguments against race changing in reality shifting, examining the diverse viewpoints and underlying controversies.

Disclaimer : before interacting pls read the entire post carefully if you do not understand a part of it do not hesistate to tell me and i would gladly explain you in more details.

And as the title says im a person of color (POC) so i will give my opinion on the matter. I am lowkey (more high key lol) pissed that i see white people telling and talking about it as if they opinion is law its time you let people directly concerned by the matter speak on a subject that concerns them.

Taglist of people who might be interested in this post that i will update progressively i will also at the end provide a pdf version of the document if this post reaches 100 reactions if it reaches 150 to 200 i will also provide the one against age changing) :

@shiftinghoe @shiftersroom @leydenkilgore @jolynesmom @shiftinginferno @norumis @angelscatastrophe @thanossnap

My Age changing Post for those interested

Masterlist

Part I: The Shifter's Perspective

A-Immersive Nature of Reality Shifting

Reality shifting goes beyond elaborate daydreaming or role-playing. It's a full-fledged immersive experience where individuals become their "Desired Reality" (DR) selves entirely. This deep embodiment isn't just physical; it encompasses cultural, emotional, and even historical elements.

Shifters often perceive themselves with entirely different physical characteristics in their DR. This goes beyond appearance – they feel comfortable and familiar in their new bodies, experiencing unique sensations and abilities tied to their DR race. Imagine an East Asian shifter feeling their epicanthic folds affecting their vision or an Afro-Caribbean shifter experiencing the textures of their hair and the specific needs of their skin.

But it's not just physical. Shifters become integrated members of their DR culture. They might find themselves fluent in the language, complete with cultural nuances and dialects. They possess an intrinsic understanding of traditions and social norms, not just intellectually, but on a lived level. Family histories, community connections, and social networks become as real and meaningful as those in their original reality.

Perhaps the most profound aspect is the emotional and psychological alignment. Shifters report feeling emotions differently based on their DR cultural background. Their worldview, values, and beliefs shift to reflect their new identity, offering unique perspectives. Many even have a full set of memories associated with their DR life, from childhood experiences to major events.

Shifters don't just inhabit a new identity; they become part of a complex historical and societal narrative. They understand the weight of historical events that shaped their DR community and experience firsthand the societal advantages or disadvantages of their DR race. They feel a deep sense of cultural pride alongside the challenges and discrimination that may come with it.

For example, a Japanese shifter might not only speak the language fluently but also understand the intricacies of keigo and feel the emotional weight of concepts like "gaman" or "uchi-soto." They could have memories of local festivals, the excitement of catching goldfish, or the solemnity of a New Year's visit.

Similarly, a Latinx shifter might effortlessly switch between languages, understand the cultural significance of quinceañeras, and feel a deep connection to their abuela's traditions. They could have vivid memories of family gatherings filled with traditional foods, laughter-filled conversations, and the warmth of close family bonds.

This immersive experience allows shifters to see the world through a completely different lens, gaining insights otherwise impossible. In their DR, their new identity isn't a costume – it's as authentic and valid as their original self. This creates a profound sense of belonging and allows them to explore different aspects of identity in a meaningful way. This depth of experience is what proponents of race changing in reality shifting often highlight as a potential benefit.

B-Personal Growth and Empathy Development

Reality shifting, particularly when it involves changing race, offers a powerful pathway for personal growth and empathy development. Proponents believe this to be one of its most valuable benefits. Here's a breakdown of its potential:

Expanded Perspective: Shifters inhabit a different racial identity, gaining visceral, firsthand experiences. Imagine a Black shifter feeling the sting of racism, or an Asian shifter navigating the pressures of the "model minority" stereotype. This fosters a deeper understanding of racial dynamics beyond textbook knowledge.

Cultural Competence: Shifters become immersed in a new cultural context, enhancing their cultural competence. They gain insights into cultural nuances, values, communication styles, and nonverbal cues. For instance, a shifter embodying a Middle Eastern identity might understand the significance of hospitality, appreciating the cultural roots of seemingly excessive generosity.

Challenging Biases: The immersive nature of shifting exposes personal biases. Shifters confront and work through unconscious biases and stereotypes that may seem harmless from the outside, but feel hurtful or limiting from a different perspective. This uncomfortable process can be ultimately transformative.

Emotional Intelligence: Experiencing life through a different racial lens boosts emotional intelligence. Shifters develop empathy for the struggles and joys specific to different races, better understand emotional cues across cultures, and gain enhanced self-awareness through reflecting on their reactions in their new identity.

Social Justice Awareness: Shifters often report a heightened commitment to social justice and equity. Experiencing discrimination firsthand motivates them to become allies in their original reality. Understanding privilege (or lack thereof) associated with different races fosters nuanced discussions about systemic inequality.

Personal Identity Exploration: Race changing in shifting can prompt deep reflection on personal identity. Shifters might question aspects of their original identity, explore their cultural heritage and family history, and gain a greater appreciation for the fluidity and constructed nature of racial categories.

Linguistic and Cognitive Benefits: Shifters who become fluent in new languages experience cognitive benefits like enhanced cognitive flexibility from thinking in different linguistic frameworks and improved problem-solving skills as they navigate cultural and linguistic differences.

Artistic and Creative Inspiration: The rich experiences gained through race changing can serve as a wellspring of artistic and creative inspiration. Writers might create more authentic characters, while visual artists gain new perspectives on color, form, and cultural symbolism.

Professional Development: Insights gained through race changing can translate into professional growth. Shifters develop a stronger ability to work in diverse teams, enhance their cross-cultural communication and negotiation skills, and gain a deeper understanding that can be valuable in multicultural environments.

Healing and Trauma Processing: In some cases, embodying different racial identities has helped shifters process personal or intergenerational trauma. For instance, a shifter with a family history of racial oppression might find healing in embodying an identity free from that specific trauma. Conversely, embodying an identity that has experienced historical trauma might help shifters connect with and process their own unrelated traumatic experiences.

Part II: Debunking Arguments Against Race Changing

A-Cultural Appropriation

One of the primary arguments against race changing in reality shifting is that it constitutes cultural appropriation. This issue is complex and sensitive, requiring careful consideration.

Cultural appropriation involves adopting elements from one culture by members of another, often without a full understanding or respect for the original culture. This practice is typically characterized by a power imbalance, where the appropriating group holds more social, political, or economic power than the culture being appropriated. It also involves a lack of attribution, where the source of cultural elements is not acknowledged, leading to stereotyping and commodification of cultural symbols, often out of context and for profit.

Applying this argument to reality shifting, critics assert that when individuals assume a different racial identity in their desired reality (DR), they may trivialize the lived experiences of that racial group. They argue that such individuals might cherry-pick enjoyable aspects of the culture while avoiding its challenges and potentially reinforcing stereotypes or misconceptions about the culture.

However, several counterarguments challenge this perspective. Many shifters approach race changing with the intention of understanding and empathizing with different racial identities, rather than exploiting them. The immersive nature of shifting often involves a deep engagement with the culture, as opposed to the superficial adoption of isolated elements.

Moreover, cultural appropriation typically involves a dominant culture taking from a marginalized one, but in shifting, this power dynamic isn’t present. Shifters embody the new identity fully, integrating their experiences into the fabric of the DR, which can make their engagement more authentic.

Unlike typical cases of cultural appropriation, shifters often report experiencing both the positive and negative aspects of their new racial identity, including potential discrimination and societal challenges. This level of immersion extends far beyond wearing traditional clothing or using cultural symbols, as it involves a comprehensive engagement with the culture's values, traditions, and worldview.

Reality shifting is a personal and introspective practice, usually conducted privately or in small groups, rather than as a public display that might perpetuate stereotypes or commercialize the culture. This personal and nuanced approach differentiates it from more harmful forms of cultural appropriation seen in popular culture or commercial contexts.

Despite these counterarguments, there are still ethical concerns to consider. The ability to "opt out" of a racial identity at will is a privilege not available to those who live that identity full-time. There is also a risk of oversimplification or misrepresentation, even with the best intentions. The personal nature of shifting does not negate the potential for internalized stereotypes or biases to influence the experience.

Instead of viewing race changing in shifting as clear-cut cultural appropriation, it might be more accurate to see it as a complex form of cultural engagement. This practice has the potential for both positive outcomes, such as increased empathy and understanding, and negative outcomes, like reinforcing stereotypes or trivializing experiences. It requires careful reflection and ethical consideration from practitioners and might be evaluated on a case-by-case basis, considering the shifter's intent, approach, and outcomes.

The argument that race changing in reality shifting constitutes cultural appropriation could be seen as a false analogy fallacy, inaccurately equating the personal, immersive, and often respectful experience of shifting with the exploitative and superficial nature of cultural appropriation as traditionally understood. Some proponents suggest that, when conducted respectfully and thoughtfully, race changing in shifting could be seen as a form of cultural exchange rather than appropriation. This perspective posits that the immersive nature of shifting fosters genuine understanding and appreciation, with shifters often feeling a responsibility to respect and honor the cultures they embody. The insights gained can contribute to more meaningful cross-cultural dialogue and understanding in the shifter's original reality.

In conclusion, while the argument against race changing in reality shifting raises important ethical considerations, the issue is more nuanced than it might initially appear. The deeply personal and immersive nature of shifting, coupled with the often sincere intent of practitioners to gain understanding and empathy, sets it apart from more straightforward cases of cultural appropriation. Nevertheless, it remains crucial for shifters to approach the practice with respect, self-reflection, and a willingness to grapple with its complex ethical implications.

B-Fetishization

Another significant criticism of race changing in reality shifting is that it may lead to or represent a form of racial fetishization. This concern is both sensitive and complex, and warrants a thorough examination.

Racial fetishization involves reducing individuals to stereotypical racial characteristics, objectifying people based on their race or ethnicity, and exoticizing racial features or cultural elements. Often, though not always, it includes a sexual component. Critics argue that race changing in shifting might encourage shifters to focus on stereotypical or exoticized aspects of a race, leading to a superficial engagement with racial identity that is more fantasy than reality. This practice could potentially reinforce harmful stereotypes or racial preferences.

However, several counterarguments challenge this perspective. Many shifters who engage in race changing are not primarily motivated by sexual desire or attraction to stereotypical racial attributes. Their goal is often to understand and embody the full spectrum of experiences associated with a different racial identity, rather than to indulge in fantasy or stereotypes. The immersive nature of reality shifting encourages shifters to deeply engage with and appreciate the culture they are exploring. This process frequently fosters empathy and understanding, rather than objectification, as shifters report experiencing both positive and negative aspects of their new racial identity, extending beyond surface-level engagement.

Additionally, many shifters approach race changing as a means of personal growth, aiming to challenge their own biases and expand their worldview. This experience often leads to increased cultural sensitivity and awareness, rather than reinforcing stereotypes. In their desired reality (DR), shifters often experience a fully realized and complex identity that includes family histories, cultural practices, societal challenges, and individual personality traits, going far beyond mere racial characteristics.

Despite these counterarguments, it is important to acknowledge potential risks. Shifters might unknowingly bring racial stereotypes or biases into their DR experiences. There is also a risk of focusing on more "appealing" aspects of a racial identity while downplaying its challenges or complexities. The ability to "try on" different racial identities at will is a privilege that could lead to a form of racial tourism if not approached thoughtfully.

From a psychological standpoint, the experience of race changing in shifting could be seen as a form of identity exploration rather than fetishization. It serves as an exercise in perspective-taking and empathy development and provides an opportunity to confront and work through internalized racial biases.

Culturally, it is worth considering whether race changing practices in shifting might lead to more nuanced representations of diverse racial identities in media and art, foster more open dialogue about race and identity in society, or risk oversimplifying complex racial issues.

Ethically, shifters should be encouraged to reflect critically on their motivations and experiences, seek diverse perspectives and real-world knowledge about the races they embody in their DR, and be mindful of the line between appreciation and fetishization. The argument that race changing in reality shifting constitutes fetishization could be seen as a straw man fallacy, as it misrepresents the shifters' intentions and the nature of their experiences, reducing a complex and often empathetic practice to a simplistic and objectifying one.

Some proponents argue that race changing in shifting could help deconstruct harmful racial categories by highlighting the constructed nature of race, encouraging people to see beyond racial stereotypes, and fostering a more fluid understanding of identity. Comparing this practice to other activities, such as actors portraying characters of different races, virtual reality experiences designed to foster racial empathy, or imagining oneself in someone else’s shoes through literature or film, reveals that race changing in shifting may differ fundamentally from these practices in its approach and intent.

In conclusion, while the criticism of fetishization raises important concerns about the potential risks of race changing in reality shifting, a closer examination reveals a more nuanced picture. The deeply personal and often transformative nature of these experiences, combined with the typical intent of fostering understanding and empathy, sets it apart from more straightforward cases of racial fetishization. Nevertheless, it is essential for shifters to approach the practice with self-awareness, respect, and a commitment to genuine cultural engagement rather than superficial or stereotypical representations.

C-Race Changing is Racist

The argument that race changing in reality shifting is fundamentally racist is a serious allegation that requires careful examination. This perspective is based on several concerns: it may trivialize the real struggles and discrimination faced by racial minorities, allow individuals to "play" at being another race without encountering the associated societal challenges, perpetuate the idea that race is something that can be donned or discarded at will, and reinforce the notion that race is merely about physical characteristics or stereotypical behaviors. This criticism often stems from worries about cultural insensitivity, fears of minimizing systemic racism, and the historical context of racist practices such as blackface and yellowface.

However, this argument can be contested on multiple grounds. Firstly, many shifters engage in race changing not to mock or belittle other races but to gain a deeper understanding and empathy for those experiences. The immersive nature of shifting often results in increased awareness of racial issues and a stronger commitment to anti-racism in the shifter's original reality. Furthermore, shifters in their desired reality (DR) often experience life as an integrated part of the culture they embody, including facing discrimination and navigating societal challenges associated with that racial identity. This depth of experience goes beyond superficial engagement.

Additionally, race changing can lead to significant personal transformation. Many shifters report profound growth, challenging their own biases and increasing their cultural competence. These experiences foster a deep sense of connection and solidarity with different racial groups. Race changing could also be viewed as an immersive form of education about racial experiences, potentially offering more impactful learning than traditional methods.

Despite these counterarguments, it is crucial to acknowledge potential issues. Shifters have the privilege of opting out of their new racial identity and returning to their original reality, a luxury not available to those who face racism daily. There is also a risk of oversimplifying complex racial experiences into simplified narratives. Without proper reflection, shifters might misuse or misrepresent aspects of the racial identities they embody.

To address these concerns, shifters engaging in race changing should approach the practice with humility and a willingness to learn. Complementing their shifting experiences with real-world education about racial issues and using insights gained to actively combat racism in their original reality can help mitigate potential problems. Critical reflection on their experiences and motivations is also essential.

From a psychological perspective, race changing in shifting can be seen as a form of perspective-taking, which has been shown to reduce prejudice, an exercise in empathy development, and a way to confront and work through unconscious racial biases. Sociologically, it is worth considering whether widespread engagement in race changing might lead to increased racial empathy, contribute to a more nuanced understanding of race as a social construct, or challenge existing racial categories.

A comparative analysis with other practices such as diversity training programs, role-playing exercises in anti-racism workshops, and the concept of "passing" in racial identity reveals that race changing in shifting might differ fundamentally in its approach and intent. The argument that race changing is inherently racist may be seen as a hasty generalization fallacy, drawing broad conclusions based on limited understandings of shifters' experiences and motivations.

Some proponents argue that, when approached thoughtfully, race changing in shifting could be an antiracist practice by fostering a deeper understanding of diverse racial experiences, motivating action against racism in the shifter’s original reality, and challenging fixed racial categories. Considering how race changing intersects with other aspects of identity, such as gender, class, or sexuality, further complicates the discussion and could lead to a more nuanced understanding of intersectional identities.

In conclusion, while the argument that race changing in reality shifting is inherently racist raises important ethical concerns, a closer examination suggests a more complex picture. The potential for increased empathy, understanding, and antiracist action indicates that, when approached thoughtfully and ethically, race changing in shifting might contribute to combating racism rather than perpetuating it.

Part III: Community Dynamics : 

A. Shiftok Culture and Hypocrisy

The community of shifters on platforms like Shiftok has become a significant space for discussing and sharing experiences related to reality shifting. However, this community is often marked by striking inconsistencies in its attitudes and practices, particularly when it comes to race changing. These inconsistencies reveal underlying biases and a selective application of ethical standards within the community.

One of the most glaring examples of this hypocrisy is the community's disparate treatment of shifts involving fictional races versus real-world racial identities. Users enthusiastically support and celebrate shifts into races from popular fiction, such as elves from "Lord of the Rings" or Veela from "Harry Potter." These shifts often involve adopting stereotypical characteristics of these races, such as ethereal beauty or magical abilities, without any criticism. Similarly, shifts into anime characters, even when these characters are explicitly Japanese or of other Asian ethnicities, are widely accepted and applauded.

In stark contrast, when a user mentions shifting to experience life as a different real-world race - for example, a white person shifting to be Black, or an Asian person shifting to be Latino - they often face harsh criticism and accusations of racism or cultural appropriation. This double standard extends to cultural practices as well. Users might criticize someone for shifting to experience a traditional Japanese tea ceremony as a Japanese person, calling it appropriation. However, they remain silent when shifters adopt fantastical versions of cultural practices, such as magical rituals in The Vampire Diaries Universe, which are often based on real-world cultural elements such as Hoodoo and Voodoo.

The inconsistency becomes even more apparent when considering shifts into races that face oppression or discrimination in their fictional universes. Shifting to be a Na'vi from "Avatar," who face colonization and violence from humans, or becoming a vampire who must hide from hunters and deal with societal prejudice, are widely accepted and even romanticized. These shifts often involve experiencing fictional forms of racism or oppression, yet they don't receive the same scrutiny as shifts involving real-world racial experiences.

This romanticization of struggle is particularly problematic. Users might enthusiastically describe the thrill of being a hunted vampire or the nobility of fighting against oppression as a Na'vi, while simultaneously criticizing those who wish to explore real-world experiences of discrimination through shifting. This glamorization of fictional oppression trivializes real-world struggles and reveals a lack of critical thinking about the implications of different types of identity shifts.

The community's acceptance of shifts into historical periods further highlights this hypocrisy. Shifting to experience life in different historical eras, which inevitably involves a change in cultural context, is generally supported. For instance, shifting to be a noble in Victorian England is rarely questioned, while shifting to be a person of color in modern-day America might be condemned. This inconsistency reveals a troubling bias in how the community views and values different cultural and racial experiences.

Perhaps the most striking example of this double standard is the widespread acceptance of shifting to become a Na'vi from the movie "Avatar." This shift involves taking on a completely different racial identity, often with spiritual and cultural elements inspired by real-world Indigenous cultures. Yet, this is rarely criticized, while shifting to be an actual Indigenous person would likely face significant backlash.

These inconsistencies in the Shiftok community undermine the credibility of criticisms against race changing and point to a need for more consistent and reflective ethical standards within the shifting community. They reveal that many users are more comfortable with the idea of exploring different identities and experiences of oppression when they're framed as "fictional," even though the immersive nature of shifting means these experiences are just as real to the shifter as any "real-world" shift would be.

This hypocrisy not only stifles meaningful dialogue about race and identity within the context of shifting but also reflects broader societal discomfort with addressing real-world racial issues. It highlights the need for the shifting community to engage in more nuanced, thoughtful discussions about the ethics of identity exploration, the nature of reality in shifting, and the responsibilities that come with experiencing different racial and cultural perspectives.

B. Judgmental Attitudes and Ignorance

The shifting community, particularly on platforms like Shiftok, often displays a complex web of judgmental attitudes and ignorance about the nuances of shifting practices. This creates a challenging environment for shifters exploring different identities, especially when it comes to race changing. (in this part and all the other parts of this essay, “real world”=CR aka this reality ik they are no such thing as the “real world” but for the sake of the argument i employed that term).

Many users within the community are quick to condemn those who shift into different racial identities, particularly when these involve real-world races. This rush to judgment often stems from a superficial understanding of shifting practices and a lack of empathy for the motivations behind such explorations. Harsh comments, gatekeeping behaviors, and in extreme cases, online harassment, have become unfortunately common responses to shifters who engage in race changing.

However, this judgmental attitude is starkly contrasted by the community's acceptance and even celebration of shifts into fictional races or non-human identities. This inconsistency reveals a deep-seated ignorance about the nature of shifting and its implications. Users often justify their acceptance of shifts into fictional races like Elves or vampires from various mythologies by arguing that since these races are fictional, they're somehow "safer" or less problematic to explore. This reasoning, however, fundamentally misunderstands the core principle of shifting: that all realities, whether based on fiction or the "real world," are equally real and valid from the perspective of the shifter.

This ignorance leads to a troubling double standard. Shifters who explore the experiences of fictional races facing discrimination - like the Na'vi battling colonization or werewolves hiding from hunters - are often met with enthusiasm. The community readily engages with these narratives of struggle and oppression when framed in a fictional context. Yet, when shifters attempt to explore real-world experiences of racial discrimination, they face harsh criticism and accusations of appropriation or fetishization.

This attitude demonstrates a lack of critical thinking about the ethical implications of different types of shifts. The community fails to recognize that from the perspective of shifting theory, the distinction between "fictional" and "real-world" races becomes arbitrary. The experiences of discrimination, cultural immersion, and identity exploration are just as real and impactful for a shifter whether they're embodying a Na'vi or shifting into a different human race.

Moreover, this ignorance extends to a misunderstanding of the depth and complexity of shifting experiences. Many critics within the community underestimate how fully shifters can embody and experience a different identity, regardless of whether it's fictional or based on a real-world race. They often fail to grasp the profound impact these experiences can have on a shifter's perspective, empathy, and personal growth.

The judgmental attitudes and ignorance prevalent in the community have serious consequences. They stifle open and honest discussions about race and identity within the shifting context. Shifters who feel judged may withdraw from the community or hide their experiences, limiting opportunities for collective learning and growth. The hostile environment can discourage exploration of different identities, potentially limiting the personal growth and empathy development that shifting can facilitate.

Furthermore, this environment of judgment and ignorance often leads to the mischaracterization of shifting experiences. Complex and nuanced explorations of identity are frequently oversimplified or dismissed. The potential benefits of respectful identity exploration through shifting are overlooked, while stereotypes about shifting and shifters are reinforced.

To address these issues, there's a clear need for more education within the community about the nuances and complexities of shifting experiences. Promoting a deeper understanding of the psychological and experiential aspects of shifting could foster more empathy and less judgment. Creating spaces for open, non-judgmental discussions about controversial shifting practices could help combat ignorance and promote a more nuanced understanding of the ethical implications of different types of shifts.

By confronting these judgmental attitudes and areas of ignorance, the shifting community has the opportunity to create a more inclusive, understanding, and supportive environment. This could not only improve the experiences of individual shifters but also contribute to more nuanced and productive discussions about identity, race, and the ethics of shifting practices. Ultimately, addressing these issues is crucial for the growth and maturation of the shifting community as a whole.

C-Understanding Morality and Multiracial Identity in Shifting

The concept of infinite realities in shifting brings about profound implications for our understanding of morality and identity, particularly when it comes to race. Each Desired Reality (DR) has its own unique set of morals and cultural norms, presenting a challenge when applying Original Reality (OR) ethics to these varied experiences. This moral relativism in shifting creates a complex landscape where what is considered ethically acceptable in one reality may not hold the same value in another.

The shifting community's approach to fictional races inadvertently highlights this moral complexity. Many shifters enthusiastically embrace identities like Na'vi from "Avatar" or vampires from various mythologies, often without the same level of ethical scrutiny applied to shifts involving CR races. This discrepancy reveals a fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of shifting itself. If we accept the core principle that all realities are equally real and valid, then the distinction between "fictional" and "real-world" races becomes very blurry to a point where said distinction vanishes since what is fictional in this reality is 100% real in that DR.

This paradox becomes even more apparent when we consider that many of these fictional races face discrimination, oppression, or complex social challenges within their realities. Shifters who take on these identities are, in essence, experiencing forms of racism or societal prejudice, yet these experiences are often romanticized or seen as less problematic than explorations of real-world racial discrimination. The Na'vi fighting against human colonization or Mutants from the X-men hiding from societal persecution are, within the context of shifting, as real and significant as any historical or contemporary struggle against oppression.

The romanticization of these fictional races raises its own set of moral questions. For instance, the glorification/romanticisation of vampire culture in shifting could be seen as problematic on multiple levels. It potentially trivializes issues of consent and power imbalances, and could even be construed as a form of necrophilia, given the undead nature of vampires (vampires are dead not alive ergo necrophilia in a way. This argument that I use is to further emphasize the hypocrisy of the shifting community since yall wanna talk about fetishization and romanticisation). This level of ethical scrutiny is rarely applied to fictional race shifts, despite the community's readiness to criticize CR race changing on similar grounds.

For multiracial shifters, this moral landscape becomes even more complex. A multiracial individual might choose to shift to embody only one aspect of their racial heritage in their DR, reflecting their sense of connection and belonging to that part of their identity. This choice doesn't negate their other racial identities but rather reflects the fluid and personal nature of racial identity itself. However, the community's inconsistent approach to race in shifting can create additional challenges for these individuals. They may find themselves navigating not only their own complex identities but also the arbitrary distinctions and judgments imposed by the community.

The multiracial shifting experience underscores the limitations of rigid racial categorizations and highlights the need for a more nuanced understanding of race and identity within the shifting community. It challenges shifters to consider how their experiences across different realities might inform and expand their understanding of racial identity in their OR.

Moreover, the moral relativism inherent in shifting raises questions about the nature of ethical growth through these experiences. If a shifter encounters and adapts to vastly different moral frameworks across their DRs, how does this impact their core ethical beliefs? This moral fluidity could lead to a more nuanced and empathetic worldview, but it also risks ethical inconsistency or moral relativism taken to an extreme.

In conclusion, the intersection of morality and racial identity in shifting presents a rich area for exploration and discussion. It challenges our understanding of ethics, identity, and the nature of reality itself. By engaging with these complex ideas, the shifting community has the opportunity to foster more nuanced, empathetic, and inclusive approaches to race and identity. However, this requires a willingness to apply consistent ethical standards across all forms of shifting, whether they involve "real" or "fictional" races, and a commitment to deeper reflection on the moral implications of these profound experiences.

Conclusion : 

Ultimately, we can argue that race changing in reality shifting isn't inherently problematic and can, in fact, be a powerful tool for personal and societal growth. The ability to experience life from diverse racial perspectives has the potential to challenge deeply ingrained biases, foster genuine empathy, and contribute to more nuanced discussions about race and identity in our society.

However, we must tread carefully to ensure that these practices do not veer into appropriation or fetishization. This requires:

Approaching race changing with respect, humility, and a genuine desire to learn.

Engaging in thorough self-reflection before, during, and after shifting experiences.

Complementing shifting experiences with real-world education about racial issues and histories.

Being mindful of the privilege inherent in being able to "opt out" of a racial identity.

Using insights gained from shifting to actively combat racism and promote understanding in one's original reality.

Fostering open, honest dialogues within the shifting community about ethics and best practices.

Developing clear community guidelines that address the complexities of race changing.

By maintaining this careful balance, race changing in reality shifting can serve as a unique and valuable tool for promoting intercultural understanding, challenging racial prejudices, and fostering a more empathetic and inclusive society. As with any powerful tool, its value lies not in the practice itself, but in how we choose to use it. With thoughtful consideration and ethical guidance, race changing in shifting has the potential to contribute positively to our ongoing dialogues about race, identity, and human experience.

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Wide Awake

Lewis Hamilton x Fem!Wolff!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, Self-Doubt, age-gap (reader is 22), slight smut (just fingering) , oh and slight orgasm denial.

(SOFIA IS A RANDOM GIRL I MADE UP!)

A/N: This was supposed to just be a one off thing but I kept writing and writing and I'm 99% sure that no one wants to read a 25k worded chapter only for it to BARELY get to the whole point/plot of the fic. so there's going to be another chapter (3 at max)

(Also I promise Too Good To Say Goodbye 7 is coming but I was hyper fixated on trying to finish this which isn't happening ) 🫶🏽😊

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

instagram

My dad’s always warned me about getting involved with the drivers. He told me that they’re all too young, naive and that all they’ll be good for is breaking my heart. For the longest time, I believed him. I’ve seen the way some of these young drivers were with girls.

Max cheating on Sofia with Kelly, Lando talking to 3 girls at once and George, well George hasn’t done anything. Point is, I’ve seen how they are and I don’t want to get with one of the young drivers only to have my heart ripped out. AGAIN.

I secretly dated one of the hottest drivers, Charles Leclerc for about 2 months. All was going well we were happy, we had secret dates and maybe I thought he was the one.

That was until one day In Monaco when I showed up to the paddock for Free Practice 1 & 2 I saw him hand-in-hand with Alexandra Saint Mleux. When I saw them together and I realized everything she had that I didn’t. She was at taller than me, skinnier, gorgeous, had flawless skin and had a modeling career. In other words, she was a goddess.

Seeing them together broke my heart and all I wanted to do was curl into a ball and sob, but I couldn’t. My dad warned me about the young drivers but I still went behind his back and did the exact opposite of what he told me not to do. I deserved this.

I had made a beeline for the Mercedes garage just to get out of the public eye but I was so focused on getting as far away from Charles and Alexandra as possible that I hadn’t noticed I was running straight into someone.

I hit this person's body with such force I almost went flying back and I reached my hands out in front of me to try and grab anything for stability and at the same time I felt two hands on either sides of my waist trying to balance me.

I was feeling so many different emotions right now I couldn't even think straight, clearly. I was so angry at Charles for cheating on me even if weren’t technically even dating, sadness because I actually thought Charles was actually capable of loving me, and full fledged embarrassment because I just ran full on into someone thinking about how Charles just ruined my life. And my makeup.

I looked up to face the person I just ran into and tried to profusely apologize for my actions, but when I looked up tho I was met with the most gorgeous brown eyes I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I wanted to stare into his eyes forever but in the half a second it took me to look up I also realized who it was that I ran into.

The 7x WDC Lewis Hamilton.

Even more embarrassment coated my face as I realized that not only did I just bump into someone while trying so hard not to have a mental breakdown but I ran into the Lewis Hamilton, my dad's best and most loved driver. “Oh my gosh Lewis, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t watching where I was going and I really didn’t mean to run into you. Please don’t tell my dad” Honestly, it sounded pathetic. ‘Don’t tell my dad’? what are you, 12?

I stared at him in silence for about all of 2 seconds which felt like an eternity until I saw his lips curled up into a smile and heard a small chuckle come from him. “I won’t tell your dad, cross my heart” Lewis said while making an ‘X’ motion over his chest “Who are you running from? I feel like maybe I'm obligated to know since you ran right into me trying to avoid them?”

My face fell in shock. How did he know I was trying to avoid someone? I mean it wasn't rocket science, if I saw a random girl running to an isolated area with tears streaming down her face, I too am going to assume she's avoiding someone. “I- Uh, Well. See”

“It’s okay, Y/N/N, I’m not going to tell anyone. You also don’t have to tell me if you don't want to but I’m willing to help you avoid them if you do.” Lewis said as he placed a hand on my cheek.

I’ve always found comfort in Lewis’ touch. Actually, I’ve always felt comfort whenever I was in the same room as Lewis. Something about his Aura screamed ‘You’re safe with me’

As much as I wanted to, I knew there was no point in lying because one thing about Lewis is that could read people like a book. Including me. With a long, loud and dramatic dragged out sigh I reluctantly told him the truth.

“I was seeing Charles behind my father’s back for about 2 months, everything was going well and I actually kinda thought he was my person but I just now saw him hand-in-hand and all cuddly with Alexandra.” Tears sprung in my eyes and threatened to fall as I recounted what I saw a few minutes prior to Lewis.

He had a sympathetic look in his face and I could tell he genuinely felt bad for me. The hand Lewis once briefly had on my face had moved down to grab my hand before he whispered, "How about this: Tomorrow we wear almost matching outfits and we come back here also hand-in-hand. We'd be together all day and we'll be cuddly too. You know, just to make Charles jealous and regret cheating on you."

Lewis was always putting people's well-being ahead of his and it made a shy smile creep onto my face. As much as I want to, maybe I shouldn't read too much into this though, he's probably just being nice to me to stay in my father's good graces.

"Lewis," I whispered as I placed my hand on his cheek "You don't have to be nice to me because I'm your boss's daughter"

he looked a bit hurt by my accusations. "Is that why you think I'm doing this?" his hand squeezed mine a little tighter.

"Why else would you, Lewis?" his hands came up to cup my face forcing me to look at him.

"Because Y/N/N, I-" he paused, almost like he was trying to find the right words to use. "I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world. I've seen you sneaking around with Charles and it took so much in me not to go over there and tear you away from him, to show him that you're mine. I know I'm older than you but I'm wiser and I'll treat you better than he can." My jaw dropped, there's no way that Lewis Hamilton, a 7x WDC is head over heels in love with me, right?

"Lew, I-" a voice interrupted me, turning my body into stone and my blood into ice.

"Y/N!" I knew that voice anywhere and if he saw the moment that me and Lewis just shared, we were both dead.

"Dad! Hi!" I tried to sound enthusiastic but I was so flushed from Lewis' confession.

"My baby," His hands cupped my face inspecting the red all over "Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine, I'm just hot. You know how the sun is in Monaco." I said with a shrug, trying to change the subject

"Oh you have to go in the AC! Lewis," my dad turned to face Lewis who was already facing in our direction

"Yes, Toto?" he said as he cocked his brow.

"I need you to take my darling girl inside. She has a condition where she can't sweat which causes her to overheat and pass out. I am too busy with this race and getting everything perfect to be worrying about my daughter having a heat stroke."

"Oh, jeez, thanks dad. Just send Lewis to do everything for you" I said in a playful tone

"Of course Toto, I'll take her in right now." Lewis said as he walked over to me and linked his arms with mine.

Lewis started guiding me through the garage and to his driver's room where he opened the door and gestured me in. Once inside he closed the door before facing me with unsure eyes.

"What's wrong Lew?" I said as I cautiously walked over to him.

"What were you going to say before Toto cut you off?" his voice so low, I almost didn't hear what he said.

"I was going to say," I stopped right in front of him, our chests were touching. We were so close I could feel his breath against my skin. "I think that you have to prove what you said about treating me better than how Charles did."

Lewis grabbed my face and pulled me into a searing kiss, our tongues fought for dominance but his won. Lewis picked me up and sat on his couch with me on his lap so I was straddling him all without breaking the kiss.

His hands found their rightful place on my hips and applied pressure forcing my hips down as I rocked my hips to apply more force against his hardening cock.

"Mmm, you taste so good. I can only imagine how much better you taste when I'm eating your pussy." Lewis mumbled against my lips as his hands went just a little bit lower to stop at the elastic of my leggings. I guided Lewis' hands under the fabric to release some of the tension building in my core.

He understood what I needed and quickly started to run his middle finger up and down my fold, collecting all my juices before inserting it in my pussy. Lewis slowly moved his finger in and out of my hole while using his thumb to rub circles on my clit. His movements were slow and sensual bringing me closer and closer to my orgasm. I started rocking my hips into his palm to add more friction to my core and to chase my orgasm which I really needed right now. I was just about to go over the edge until a knock at the door quickly halted both of our movements and caused Lewis to yank his hand out of me leaving me without finishing.

"Mate, FP2 starts in 15. They need us by our cars now" The voice of George could be heard from he other side of the door.

“Oh fuck me” I grunted as I pulled myself off of Lewis’ lap

“Trust me, I was planning on it” He said with a smirk on his face as his hand came to rest on my ass before giving it a smack.

Lewis poked his head out of the door to make sure no one would see us leave, after the all clear we quickly rushed out of his room, both of us going in opposite directions as to not get caught.

————

The next day I heard a knock at my hotel door at the early hours of 6:00am. With a grunt I pulled myself out of the comfort of my warm and cozy bed and made my way to the door. Whoever was interrupting my beauty sleep was going to get a mouthful, I’ll tell you that.

“Do you know what time it is?!” I whisper yelled as I opened the door, not even bothering to look through the peephole to see who I would be yelling at. And boy do I really wish I did look because I was met with the tall, beautiful, muscular frame of Lewis Hamilton.

“Woah honey, I told you we were going to the paddock together. We need matching outfits” Lewis said while looking at me up and down "Do you by any chance have a matching Tommy Hilfiger set?"

"No?" I said, a little nervous

"Perfect, I bought you one that matches mine so put this on" Lewis said as he handed me a bag of 4 different sets.

"Lewis, there's four sets in here. Which am I wearing?" I said I let him in my room and watched as he took a seat on my bed right were I was once peacefully sleeping.

"Wear whichever one you want and I'll match it. I didn't know which of those four you'd like so I bought them all." My heart fluttered a bit at his confession.

--------

When Lewis and I pulled up to the race and got out of the car, we walked to the entrance hand-in-hand.

Charles and Alexandra were the first people to spot us and I took notice on how Charles dropped Alexandra's hand. When I saw that I squeezed Lewis' hand and leaned into him to tell him

"Lew, it's working. He dropped Alexandra's hand" I said with a smirk on my face.

"Wanna give them a show?" I cocked my brow at what he was suggesting but reluctantly nodded my head.

Without thinking twice, Lewis pulled me into a kiss, his hand finding their place to rest on my ass while mine traveled to the back of his neck to pull him deeper into the kiss.

I heard a strings of words which I'm assuming were curse words before I heard faint shuffles of feet echoing away from where me and Lewis were stood. Faint footsteps weren't the only thing we heard because next thing you know we heard clicks of camera shutters.

I pulled away from him with a horrified look on my face.

"Lewis! My dad might see those!" I don't think I was ever more scared in my life than I was in that moment. My dad can't know that I'm sneaking behind his back with Lewis. Well technically this is the second day of this 'sneaking around' but still, he doesn't know."

"Do you want to be with me Y/N/N?" He said dead serious while interlocking our hands

"Yes"

"So you shouldn't care about the pictures and your dad's opinion. Not everyone is going to accept our relationship but that doesn't matter because this relationship is between us. Not them"

"I need FP3 and Qualifying to end ASAP because I so badly want to suck your cock."

“I’m holding you to that” Lewis said as he swatted my ass. Surely the press people got photos of that and when those get out. I’m gonna have a fun conversation with my dad

It took us about 15 minutes to get the Mercedes Hospitality area because of all the fans asking for pictures, Press asking questions and other drivers asking what Lewis thinks he’s doing going out with me.

I almost took offense to that but quickly realized that they didn’t mean it in a rude way but more as a ‘you better be careful because if you break her heart, Toto will never resign you to Mercedes’ type of way.

When we entered, we were met with the angry eyes of my father.

“Lewis.” He said stern, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose “what are you doing with my daughter?!”

“Sir,” Lewis started but my dad cut him off

“Y/N/N, I told you not to go off with the drivers!” His voice raised, not too loud to be classified as yelling but a couple octaves louder than how it was before

“Actually, you said no messing around with the younger drivers. Lewis is older and more wise” I said as I grasped Lewis’ hand tighter.

“What are your intentions with my daughter?”

“Well sir, I intend to give your daughter the best life I can give her, I want to take her everywhere with me, I want to spoil her, I want to have her move in with me, I want to be her husband and I want her to be the mother of my kids.” Lewis squeezed my hand as he said that last sentence.

I never thought about being a mother, I never felt like it was an obligation of mine. I never thought that I wanted kids but hearing Lewis admit to my dad that he wanted me to be the mother of his kids sparked something in me. Lewis made me realize that deep down, I longed to be a mom and now I wasn’t going to be happy if I wasn’t.

“I will kill you if you break her heart.” My dad stated as he stared in Lewis’ eyes as if to try and intimidate him.

—————

It's not the best but I promise the plot is to die for!

taglist:

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti@dhanihamidi @Ggasly.p @tellybearryyyy

[quack-quack-snacks]

Star Crossed - Chapter 9

| Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 |

The Star Crossed Masterlist

My All Of Us Are Dead Masterlist

My Navigation and Masterlist

Warnings: Normal AOUAD things, Gwi-nam Word Count: 4,890

As you looked up, you saw the one and only Gwi-nam running across the rooftop towards Cheong-san who was running towards him too. They slammed into each other and Gwi-nam got the better of the situation by slamming Cheong-san onto the ground on his back. 

“Cheong-san!” 

Su-hyeok screamed for his friend, getting up right after you had and running towards the two. 

Cheong-san yelled in agony and you looked around for something to do. You couldn’t bring yourself to fight him. You couldn’t fight your brother, no matter what he was doing to your friends. 

On-jo had run up to Gwi-nam from behind him and grabbed ahold of his jacket, trying to pull him off without success until she was slung away and landed right in front of you. You, along with Hyo-ryung and Ji-min, helped her up as she winced in pain. You lifted her shirt slightly to assess the damage and luckily there didn’t seem to be anything too bad. At the most, it would probably just bruise. 

You heard more grunts and looked up just in time to see Gwi-nam kick Su-hyeok monstrously into a pile of metal chairs. You let go of On-jo to run to him but as soon as you did she almost fell to the ground. Cursing, you picked her back up and held her up with her arm around your shoulder. You looked up to take a good look at the person you had called your brother for all your life and didn’t recognize him. Blood covered his chin and jacket. It was fresh and looked like he had just eaten somebody. You would be terrified of him being an actual full-fledged zombie if it weren’t for how conscious and aware he seemed to be. 

Joon-yeong, thankfully, ran over to help out Su-hyeok who was gasping for breath and you mentally expressed your gratitude towards him. 

Gwi-nam looked around and skimmed over who was standing in front of him, his eyes glancing over you before he did a double take. His face switched rapidly between emotions; his asshole, tough-guy, dead-eyed face changed to one of confusion, then concern, then relief, until finally, it ended on annoyance. 

“(Y/n)? What the fuck are you doing with these assholes?” He asked you and took a few steps towards you but you got dragged back by On-jo, who had gotten her strength back, Hyo-ryung, and Ji-min. All three of them pushed you behind them and you would have given a smile at them for their protectiveness but this was not the time. Gwi-nam scoffed and you stepped out in front of the three girls but On-jo and Ji-min grabbed onto your right arm while Hyo-ryung grabbed onto your left to hold you back. 

“Guys. Let me go,” you ordered them in the most terrifying and monotone voice you could muster, but it had no effect. While you didn’t regret telling them about how your act was just that, an act, you wished you had done it at a time later than this moment. 

Gwi-nam scoffed at your friends’ actions and stayed in his spot, glancing back over to everyone else. He sighed. “Who are you?” He asked them in a voice fringing on being bored to death. 

“What the hell are you? You come from the One Heart club?” Dae-su asked seriously and Gwi-nam looked behind him at the back of his jacket before stuffing his hands into his pockets with an arrogant smirk on his face. “It's me. Yeah.” When everyone continued to look confused, his smirk dropped. “You don't know? How the fuck do you not know me?”

“I know you. I said it many times before.”

“Cheong-san don’t!” You warned him and tried fruitlessly to escape the tight grips of the girls behind you. Despite not using their strength often, they were pretty strong. 

“You're the bullies' gopher,” Cheong-san ignored your warnings and Gwi-nam raised a hand while taking a threatening step forward. 

He pointed the hand he used to threaten to hit him with to point at him as he spoke out a warning. “If you call me that again, I'll kill you.”

“You weren't a gangster and you weren't a good student. And now you're not a human and you're not a zombie either. No matter the time or place… you're nothing.”

Gwi-nam scoffed and clicked his tongue before a menacing smile was set on his face. “I won't just kill you. I'll gouge out both of your eyes and feed your blind ass to the zombies. Oh, yeah,” he promised. He looked around at the group as he spoke again. “Everyone but Cheong-san and (Y/n), can go. Unless you wanna die with this fucker.”

“What do you want with (Y/n)?” Cheong-san questioned and Gwi-nam shot him a look like he was stupid.

“She’s my little fucking sister, asshole. Even if you somehow fucking killed me, I’ll still make sure she gets out of here alive,” he promised and it reminded you of how he would always protect you against your abusive father. Except this time, he’s protecting you against zombies… while promising to feed your friend to them… 

Lovely. 

When no one moved from their spots, standing with Cheong-san even after Gwi-nam took a warning step forward, the boy tilted his head slightly, annoyed. “You're all dead.” He then raced forward to charge for Cheong-san who met him halfway and they scuffled. You squirmed with all of your might against the tight grips of your friends but they only loosened slightly until they continued to wrap tightly around your arms. Ji-min did let go to rush forward and help the boys as they fought but Hyo-ryung and On-jo held strong. 

Joon-yeong got flung backwards and landed on his back, groaning and his glasses flew off his face and onto the ground beside him. 

Cheong-san got kicked towards you and Ji-min helped him up as Gwi-nam took menacingly slow steps forward until Su-hyeok appeared from behind him with a wooden portrait holder used for painting and slammed it against his back. Gwi-nam spun around to face him and quickly dodged a hit from Su-hyeok before grabbing ahold of his neck and forcing him backward to the edge of the roof. 

“Gwi-nam! Stop!” You begged but he did nothing of the sort.

Luckily, Su-hyeok was a skilled fighter. He jumped up and kicked Gwi-nam’s torso backward, making him lean back in an odd, inhuman, contorted way. His feet were still planted on the floor but his upper body levitated above the ground. His spine looked like it snapped in half. His bones crunched as he lifted himself back up and started walking towards Su-hyeok again. At his first step forward, you remembered a self-defense mechanism Su-hyeok had told you once.

If you make yourself dead weight, it will make it harder for people to keep a hold of you.

You dropped your body weight to the floor, On-jo and Hyo-ryung scrambling to keep a hold of you but you escaped too quickly for them and ran towards your brother, jumping on his back and putting him in a chokehold. It wouldn’t do anything to him, you knew this, but just like you couldn’t bear to hurt him, he couldn’t bear to hurt you either.

Or so you thought. 

Gwi-nam grabbed hold of you and threw you over his shoulder towards the corner of the roof. 

“Do yourself a favor, and stay the fuck out of this (Y/n/n),” he warned. Your breath was knocked out of your lungs harshly and you wheezed while simultaneously holding your leg where you had scraped the skin of your knee extremely harshly. Blood seeped out all across the concrete beneath you. At the metallic scent, Gwi-nam’s head redirected back to you from where it had been focused on Su-hyeok. “(Y-Y/n)?” Gwi-nam hesitantly took a step towards you, his anger and murderous face taking up that of a concerned brother once again.

Up until Nam-ra walked up behind him and slammed him across the back with a stick set aflame. He turned back to look at her and grabbed her neck, lifting her above the ground. 

“Nam-r-ra…!” You tried to weakly scream her name but you still hadn’t regained your breath. Su-hyeok ran over to you, lifting your upper body into his lap as he checked you over but you kept your eyes on the fight between your brother and your best friend. Gwi-nam smacked her down but she was insistent and stabbed the broken stick into his leg when he started moving in your direction again. He groaned and took the broken stick out of his leg, aiming for Nam-ra but she fought against him and held onto his arm. 

“Let go,” he started thrashing around but she didn’t let go of him. “Let go!” He punched her across the face and she fell to the ground but kept her hold on his arm. He then lifted her up and slammed her back against the ground a few times before finally breaking her hold. He lifted her up and off the ground by grabbing ahold of her hair to bring them face to face. 

They spoke in hushed tones that you couldn’t hear until Nam-ra threw Gwi-nam near the wall of the roof. He barely wasted a second before getting back up. Su-hyeok, who had gently set you back down onto the ground, stood up, ready to fight. He kicked the back of his knees and punched him before getting slammed against the edge of the roof by Gwi-nam. Nam-ra, out of instinct to protect her new friend, grabbed ahold of Gwi-nam and threw him over the edge of the roof. 

You watched with mixed emotions as he disappeared over the edge of the roof’s wall and closed your eyes.

“Fuck.”

Everyone took a sigh of relief after that, even you. You dragged yourself to be leaning against the wall and looked down at your legs. One was worse than the other but they both still hurt like shit. The skin was torn up around your knees and upper calves and for the time being, you weren’t able to walk or stand. 

You took your shoes off and grabbed ahold of a sharp wooden stick from beside you, using it to cut one of the knee-high socks you were wearing at the ankle. You pulled the sock up to cover the wounds and folded them in half so they would be tighter and prevent any more blood loss. They stained red instantly from how much you were bleeding but you didn’t care. Nam-ra walked up to kneel next to you and took the stick from your hand before doing the other leg for you. You could see the guilt and regret on her face so you covered one of her shaking hands with your own. 

“It was the best thing to do,” you told her and she nodded before focusing back on covering your wounds. After that, you put both of your shoes back on and tried to stand but collapsed. Su-hyeok, who had been standing by to give the two of you your space, ran forward and helped you up after the first failed attempt. “Su-hyeok, I’m fine. I just wasn’t expecting it,” you told him through gritted teeth after a certain movement made your legs sting like hell. 

“No. You’re not fine, and don’t pretend like you are.”

“You got thrown around way more times than me! You should be helping yourself!” You protested but he just scoffed and rolled his eyes before picking you up princess-style and carrying you over to the fire. 

“I was thrown around more and yet you come out more beaten up than all of us combined. Let me take care of you for once, yeah?” 

You looked away and huffed, ignoring the heat rising to your cheeks and reluctantly thanking Su-hyeok when he set you down in front of the fire, carefully helping you into a sitting position before sitting next to you and stretching out his shoulder. 

“Damn, it stings!” Dae-su complained about his own wounds and you looked over at him. 

“You doing alright, Dae-su? You got thrown around too…” Your eyes roamed over his growing bruises with a noticeable look of guilt.

“Yeah, I’m alright (Y/n),” he reassured you with a smile and you returned it as you listened to Joon-yeong and Cheong-san’s conversation after Joon-yeong gave up on fixing his glasses. 

“What the hell is with that Gwi-nam kid?” Joon-yeong asked him. “You said he got bitten.”

“I don't know,” Cheong-san admitted. “It looks like he became something totally different.”

“I don't think he can die,” Su-hyeok spoke up. 

“What will we do if he climbs back up here again? None of us are in any shape to take him on again…” You trailed off and everyone nodded in agreement. 

“He's bad enough… but to be honest, I'm scared of Nam-ra too,” Ji-min admitted. “You saw her fighting before.”

“Nam-ra was literally just fighting out there to help save you guys. How could you still accuse her like this? I understand how you’re scared but she’s proven herself over and over again. How about a little trust?” You begged Ji-min and she gave you a half-hearted shrug, unsure if she would take your words seriously. 

“Well… I think it's reasonable to assume they're both half-bies-” Dae-su started until Hyo-ryung elbowed him in the gut and he grunted. “What?” He whispered to her. 

Ji-min turned to Nam-ra. “Are you really okay, Nam-ra?” She asked. “You won't do that to us, right?” She asked again when she didn’t answer the first time. 

“Would you believe me if I said that I wouldn't?” Nam-ra asked rhetorically. 

“Why do you have to say it that way? Can you at least try to make us believe you? We're going to be together anyway,” Ji-min complained.

Nam-ra took a deep breath and sighed before looking back up at JI-min who had looked down to stare at the fire that was slowly burning out. 

“I… I've never done anything but study. I don't think I was naive, I think I was a coward,” she looked down at her hands as Ji-min looked back up at her. “I was too scared my grades would drop and my mom would get mad. So I didn't do anything. I was too scared to make friends. My mom would always ask me what rank they were in class, what their parents did, how big their house was… I never even told her about (Y/n) who I’ve been friends with for over a year now,” she paused for a moment. “I never thought I'd get a chance to sit around a fire with all of you like this. It's really nice. It's my first time,” she looked up and glanced around at the group with a smile. “If we somehow manage to get out of here. I really hope we can make a fire… and hang out like this again. I really hope we can do that.”

“Sure, let's do it,” On-jo agreed and looked over to Nam-ra, their eyes locking and both smiling softly at each other. “If anyone wants to make a fire… we can all get together,” On-jo promised and you smiled to yourself. 

“Sorry, Nam-ra,” Ji-min apologized and you smiled, liking how everyone has come to see Nam-ra the way you’ve been seeing her for your whole friendship. Nam-ra looked down and chuckled softly with a smile. 

“Ooh. Did you just smile?” Dae-su joked. “Super awkward.”

“God, come on,” Hyo-ryung whispered and looked at Dae-su with irritation. 

“What now? What?” He asked her, confusion and annoyance mixing.

“Why don't you two just date already?” Wu-jin asked. “You guys are so annoying.”

“Are you crazy?”

“Psycho.”

They both spoke at the same time and you just chuckled at their similarities. If they just got over themselves, they would be a genuinely good couple. 

“Hold on.”

Everyone looked over at Nam-ra as she spoke and she looked pensive, almost hopeful.

“Did you hear that?” She asked and looked around at everyone, her eyes wide. 

“No, what is it?” Su-hyeok asked her calmly, one hand rested on your thigh right above your wound where he rubbed tiny circles on your skin and created butterflies in your stomach. 

“What? Is someone out there?” Hyo-ryung also asked, more worried and scared. 

“Oh fuck, not again,” you complained and mentally prepared yourself for the pain that would come with standing up. 

Nam-ra looked off into the distance with an expecting gaze. “Listen.”

Everyone’s heads snapped in the same direction and they gasped. 

You focused your hearing on something, you weren’t sure what but you remained focused even as the group questioned the silence. Suddenly, you heard the familiar sound of wind whirring. 

“Wait… Is that a helicopter?” You asked and stood up abruptly, Su-hyeok right beside you to help you remain balanced. Your left foot didn’t hurt as much, it was just your right that was debilitatingly painful. The others stood up after you and you all saw lights in the distance. Cheong-san walked towards the edge and looked off to see the helicopter heading straight for the school. 

“Hey…” He stated and ran back towards the campfire to grab a lit stick. “Fire!”

“Yeah, yeah! They see us! They're coming!” Wu-jin expressed and everyone started waving their hands in the air frantically. Su-hyeok handed you off to Nam-ra who held you tightly meanwhile he also waved his hands around and screamed. 

Everyone started screaming at the same time, all pleading for them to come over. Dae-su even ran up to the edge and stood on a crate to raise his body as he yelled. Joon-yeong frantically ran up behind him to make sure he didn’t fall. “This way! This way! Look over here!”

“Look at us, will you?”

“Come save us!”

“Here!”

When the helicopter grew closer so it was hovering above the roof, everyone started cheering in happiness and jumping up and down. Su-hyeok came back over to help support you and Nam-ra let go in favor of covering her ears from how loud the wind was. You all continued to celebrate when you all saw four soldiers dressed in black gear slide down two ropes they threw out from the aircraft, two at a time, and land on the roof with you. Once they were down, they pointed their guns at you and you all backed up in confusion and fear, the cheering and thanking stopping immediately. The helicopter they came down from slowly rose up again and flew away and you all stood with your hands in the air, confused. 

“Get down. All of you,” one of the soldiers commanded but you all stood still, unmoving. 

Dae-su spoke first and asked the soldiers, “Sir. Can you please help us?” They all aimed their guns directly at him threateningly and screamed out orders.

“Face down on the ground! Get down!”

Slowly, each of you lowered yourselves to the ground, Su-hyeok helping you before following, and you all were on the ground, lying on your stomachs. They started walking around and pressing a device near your necks. It beeped after a second and the soldier then repeated a number. You guessed they were thermometers and just prayed for Nam-ra to still be as warm as she was earlier today. You looked over at Nam-ra and saw her using her hair to cover her reddened eye. 

When the soldier made his way around to you, you tensed as he held the thermometer up to your neck. 

“35.2° C. This one also needs medical attention to her legs. Providing warming blanket and first aid kit now.” 

They continued going around, checking each person’s temperature while one soldier ran to get the warming blanket and first aid kit for you. Su-hyeok came rushing forward to assist you with the cleaning and bandaging process after he was cleared and got permission to do so from the soldiers. You watched him as he wiped down your knee, trying not to think of the sting, and saw the thermometer light up in red as the soldier checked Nam-ra. You held your breath as he spoke. “34.5°. Providing a warming blanket.” 

You let out a sigh of relief as one of the other soldiers came back with another metallic blanket and wrapped it around her back. 

“We'll rescue them after the mission's complete. Over,” one of the soldiers announced and the others nodded their heads. “You can get up now.”

Everyone slowly stood to rise, Su-hyeok helping you when you almost stumbled. Your legs were better now with the help of the medical equipment but they were still painful to move

“Are you the only survivors?” One asked. 

“We don't really know,” Cheong-san spoke for the group. “There are probably others.”

The soldier nodded. “We're going down for a few minutes. Wait right here.”

“Are you not gonna rescue us?” Ji-min shoved her way forward and asked them, doubt leaking from her bold tone. 

“Yes, we will,” they reassured. “So don't go anywhere. Don't do anything. Just wait here. Understand?” Everyone murmured their agreement and the man who you assumed was the highest rank turned to the other three soldiers. “Let's go.”

Ji-min looked defeated and you reached forward to grab her hand. She jumped in surprise as she looked back at you but then relaxed and rested a hand over the one you had on her arm. You could see she was trying not to cry. 

One soldier stayed behind as the other three went into the school. You were confused about what they were doing. Why would they willingly go into the school? You decided not to pay attention to it and just turned to Nam-ra who was holding her eye in pain with one hand while the other held the blanket around her shoulders. 

“Hey,” you asked and she turned to you. “Are you okay?” You gestured to her eye and she just gave a slight nod. 

“I think so.”

You nodded and thought you should save your strength so you sat down, Su-hyeok helping you and sitting beside you. After a while, the three soldiers came back up, safe and sound, and the helicopter moved over to the same place it was when it dropped them down onto the roof. One soldier reached into his bag and pulled out a harness. 

“Master Sergeant. You go up first,” one of the soldiers commanded.

“Yes, sir,” he agreed and ran to the rope, but your eyes didn’t follow him as the other soldier spoke again and gained your attention. 

“We'll pull you up one at a time,” he explained. Nam-ra had sat down next to you at some point and was holding her ears this time in pain from the loud wind that must have been even louder with her new bodily functions. You reached over to wrap the falling blanket around her shoulders, tucking it around her so it stayed in place, and then wrapped your arm around her shoulder, trying to do as much as you could to stop her from feeling too much pain. “Stay still even if you're scared. Okay?”

“You're not landing the chopper?” Ji-min questioned with a panicked look. 

“We can't. It can get unstable. He's gonna pull you up, so don't worry,” he reassured and she still looked scared but more relieved. After the soldier rose to the top of the helicopter and was safely inside of it, the other soldier spoke again. “You can't go all at once, so let's go one by one.”

“We can't all go?” Cheong-san panicked but the soldier quickly eased his worries. 

“We can take all of you, but it has to be one by one.”

Everyone looked around at who would go first and they all collectively, but silently, decided on Ji-min. On-jo gently pushed her towards the soldier and everyone encouraged her to go first. She looked hesitant but thankful as the soldier started to strap her into the harness. 

As she started to rise, the soldiers ushered for the next person and Hyo-ryung was urged to go next. Just as you saw Ji-min reaching the top, one soldier stepped away. 

“Say again. Did you mean everyone?” He asked through his transmitter and went silent as the person on the other end of the line spoke. “But their temperatures are fine,” he protested and went silent again. “They're just children!” After another moment of silence, his hand dropped from his head and he looked over to the group, scanning each of you slowly before sighing heavily and responding. “Understood. Over,” he turned to the other soldiers on the ground. “Cancel the operation,” he ordered. Everyone looked shocked by his words and you stood up on shaky legs. “We'll take just the package and pull out.”

Ji-min started lowering from the chopper just as she grabbed hands with the soldier on top and you could distantly hear her concerned words. The soldiers started taking the harness they put on Hyo-ryung off and she whimpered in confusion before they pushed her toward the group. Everyone was screaming out questions about what was happening but you stood there in silence as you watched the soldier who spoke through his transmitter. You weren’t sure what had happened but whatever it was made it so that they couldn’t and wouldn’t rescue all of you. 

As Ji-min landed on the group and they started to take her harness off, she started screaming and thrashing around as she cried but the soldiers just pushed her harshly into the arms of your group.

She walked back up to them and one of them pointed their guns at her threateningly. You raced forward to step in front of her before Su-hyeok could stop you, ignoring how your leg stung slightly at the movement. 

“I wanna get out of here!” Ji-min screamed from behind you as you stared the soldier directly in the eye with a straight face. “Please, take me with you!”

“Come on, sir!” Dae-su expressed. The soldier then pointed his gun at Dae-su and everyone who spoke their complaints.

“W-Wait a second,” Joon-yeong started and the gun then pointed at him. “What's wrong with you? We're fine! We're not zombies.”

“Please, just take me with you!” Ji-min begged again from behind you, her hands reaching out to fist the fabric of your shirt. 

“Stand back!” They all advanced forward with their guns to get you all further away from the ropes. “Stand back, or we'll shoot!”

You locked eyes with the soldier in front again and you could see the distress in his eyes. “Sir,” you started but took no steps to advance towards him. “What’s really going on?” 

He raised his gun and shot strikes into the air as a warning. You didn’t flinch even as your ears rang from the loud sound, only moving when Su-hyeok ran up from behind you and pulled you back with Ji-min following. 

Cheong-san had advanced forward with On-jo in his hand as he begged. “I'm begging you. Please take just a few of us with you.”

The soldier didn’t respond and after a second Cheong-san took another step forward when he fired the gun into the air again and everyone screamed. At this point, it was only him left on the roof as the others had risen up to the helicopter and he backed up towards the rope behind him as Cheong-san tried one more time. “Rescue us.”

After the soldier got strapped in, he looked back at all of you with a sorrowful and guilty look. “I'm sorry.”

The last of everyone’s shimmer of hope distinguished away like a flame under the rain as he rose higher and higher into the air before going inside and the helicopter slowly flying away. Everyone stayed silent as you watched the helicopter grow smaller and smaller in the distance until you could barely hear its wind. 

“They abandoned us,” Hyo-ryung sobbed out. “Didn’t they?”

You nodded.

“No one's coming to save us now? But why did they do that?”

“Maybe…” Wu-jin started. “They thought that all of us were already fucking zombies.”

“No, that can’t be it,” you contradicted.

“They would have killed us,” Joon-yeong added and you nodded along. “They wouldn't have left us here alive if they thought that.”

Cheong-san turned and in a fit of anger and frustration and betrayal, he kicked the dimming remains of the fire. 

“C-Cheong-san,” your voice broke as you attempted to stop him but the lump in your throat prevented you from talking anymore. 

On-jo walked up to him and pulled him away by his arm. “What are you doing?”

He yanked his arm away from her grip. “It's pointless. No one's coming. No one else is coming,” he told her angrily and she just watched as he continued to kick at the fading embers on the ground and the rest of the ‘SOS’ sign. 

The scream of agony and bitterness Cheong-san let out tore through your heart painfully but you couldn’t do anything. You couldn’t do anything to help him and your friends. You couldn’t do anything to help your brother.

You couldn’t even do anything to help yourself.

~~~

| Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 |

~~~

Taglist! (I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO ADD THIS WHEN I POSTED IM SO SORRY)

@multifandom-lover01, @justmare, @hellomotherfuker, @queenjang21, @d1tzy-bl0nde, @madislayyy, @she-kills, @le3lyntv, @undeadky420, @needsleep3000, @bunnychano3o

[thegambitgazette]

Know Thyself: How This One Exercise Shaped My Writing

“Know Thyself” Interpretations

Heraclitus: “It belongs to all men to know themselves and think well.”

Charles H. Kahn: this fragment echoes a traditional belief that “know thyself" had an essentially similar meaning to the second Delphic maxim, “nothing too much;” both sayings might be considered alternative ways of describing the virtue of sophrosyne.

Heraclitus defines sophrosyne as the art of “perceiving things according to their nature,” apparently referring to the perception of objective, material facts. If so, and if self-knowledge is the same as sophrosyne, then, as Kahn writes, “the deepest structure of the self will be recognized as co-extensive with the universe in general … so true self-knowledge will coincide with knowledge of the cosmic order.”

A fragment from Ion of Chios provides the earliest explicit reference to the maxim. It reads: “This ‘know yourself’ is a saying not so big, but such a task Zeus alone of the gods understands.”

“The unexamined life is not worth living” -Socrates

Soliloquies of Augustine: The book has the form of an “inner dialogue" in which questions are posed, discussions take place and answers are provided, leading to self-knowledge. The first book begins with an inner dialogue which seeks to know a soul. In the second book it becomes clear that the soul Augustine wants to get to know is his own.

The Consolation of Philosophy: Boethius writes The Consolation of Philosophy as a conversation between himself and a female personification of philosophy, referred to as “Lady Philosophy.” Philosophy consoles Boethius by discussing the transitory nature of wealth, fame, and power (“no man can ever truly be secure until he has been forsaken by Fortune"), and the ultimate superiority of things of the mind, which she calls the “one true good.” She contends that happiness comes from within, and that virtue is all that one truly has because it is not imperiled by the vicissitudes of fortune.

Meditations: Marcus Aurelius likely didn’t intend for Meditations to be published, as the work centered around his own self-analysis and self-guidance. Aurelius advocates finding one's place in the universe and sees that everything came from nature, and so everything shall return to it in due time. Another strong theme is of maintaining focus and to be without distraction all the while maintaining strong ethical principles such as “Being a good man.”

...to think that all of these classic works are “regular” people figuring themselves out. I decided to do the same.

Writing My Own “Soliloquy”

I’d like to clarify that I, in no way shape or form, see myself as this great thinker or philosopher or anything like that. I recognize that this practice is but one way to understand myself, especially since I struggle with mental health and a lot of spiritual questions (but that’s another topic).

In choosing to write my own soliloquy, I am becoming my own Devil’s Advocate. Like Boethius, I’ve decided to structure my journaling as if I am arguing with someone. I will choose a topic that I am passionate about or that I am having my own crisis over, such as “Why do I not believe I am a good person?” or “Why do I prefer logic over emotion?” or even “What draws me to classical paintings?”

What I found is that anything and everything that I am attached to says something about me on a deeper level.

Here is where it gets a little tricky: in continuing to argue with myself, I’ve found that I get better at coming up with counter points. In other words, this self-analysis becomes more and more complex the more used to it you get. It’s almost like you’re playing some mind chess and this fictional opponent, who is also you, as they are but your own Devil’s Advocate, is also getting better and learning with you.

But, to me, that is what makes this “Know Thyself” maxim important. You are not meant to have a full-fledged answer. We are constantly evolving and changing, as will our knowledge of how we perceive ourselves and how we perceive the world in response to it.

How It Affects My Writing

To start with the obvious, the character development and creation changes so much when you get to know yourself. At least, for me, the world becomes less and less black and white (not that it ever was black and white to begin with). Because of that, my characters become more dimensional.

I am no longer afraid to write controversy. There is a... debate, for a lack of better words, on the media literacy rate nowadays. Because of this, I would fear that, just because I wrote about it, people would assume that I am in support of it; or, for example, just because there is a mainstream focus on one demographic, that nuances of that focus cannot be written about (again, another topic).

However, writing my soliloquies reminds me that my work is meant to be a message from myself to the audience first and entertainment second.

As artists, authors, creators, etc., there is a danger in losing ourselves to appease the masses. There is the question of whether we should create what we want or stick to what is trending, and I’m not immune to that spiral, either.

In knowing yourself, you become your #1 advocate. You know what your boundaries are, what your morals are, and what your values are. It gets harder to allow those who don’t do that same work to sway your pen.

Closing Words

Whatever form that takes, get to know yourself. For me, that’s journaling whenever I can as if I’m debating with someone. Grab a journal meant specifically for this exercise and go crazy! No one’s going to read it (unless you become someone like Marcus Aurelius and your own version of Meditations comes out. In which case... sorry?)

Never stop challenging the way you think, too. It can be uncomfortable and hard, but change always is. Perhaps you will stick to your ideals, and that’s okay, too! Do not live life on the easy path.

As always, these exercises are not a substitute for professional or medical help. I will always encourage those who need it to seek therapy, as I believe it is a great tool to use alongside this exercise, should one feel inclined to do so.

[partangel]

would love to hear more about your take on the "people have the obligation to help themselves and get better, if they dont they are bad" thing because you’re sooo right

i just don't think it is as simply and as linear as social media trends make it seem, i think humans are becoming more and more self-invested, self-centered and therefore isolated. i think we dehumanize others and attribute meaningless labels... "red flags this, yellow flags this" i mean, what?

on the internet, particularly tumblr, there was an entire period of romanticizing decay and victimization which was ridiculously bad and not promoter of any type of growth be it for the individual or the relationships they maintained. but the 180º extreme switch that happened is frankly as bad. i believe there's a whole difference between accounting for your mistakes and realizing certain behaviours are not okay with others and TRYING to do better while also giving context to your own struggles in certain aspects in comparison to the whole "maybe you're just toxic and should be put down or smth". like, what in the world? sometimes it just feels like people stopped being people and stopped seeing others as people just like them. i feel like we are just assets. where is the humanism? why have we stopped treating people as people????? are you a full fledged human without your "faults" and "vices"????? or are you just emulating a persona that will never exist and therefore will never to fully connect to others??? why do others prefer to build a relationship with a persona instead of a real human... its easier to manage relationships that dont truly exist, but isnt it as easy as it is isolating?

no one should go to therapy forced by others. no one should take medication forced by others. functionality and stability should not be reached by imposing threats on an human being. in the end that's not helping anyone. its as ive said, i started taking a medication for others and not for me, it did nothing besides making me worse. however, other people were eager to be more human to me because i was taking medication. while im exactly the same, other people have changed the way they interact with me due to a pill. why?

not to talk about the "ugly" mentally ill. the mentally ill that has trouble managing emotions, the mentally ill that has a personality disorder, the mentally ill that can't maintain relationships as well as others because they need their time. the upset mentally ill the traumatized mentally ill the raging mentally ill. as if everything is treated by medication and therapy. as if it isn't a luck to get an actual competent therapist. as if, in going to therapy and it failing, you just spent hours retraumatizing and reliving everything again for nothing. but well. you went to therapy. you pass the check on good mentally ill. doesn't matter if it changed anything or made things worse, you showed you were compromised to others in your life. now you deserve being treated like a human. now if you have a bad day they can tell you "talk to your therapist" and excuse your grumpiness or your suicidal ideation.

most of healing happens in the secure relationships you maintain during your life. except now, talking to your friend about a problem you're having is labeled as "dumping" and is regarded as an orange yellow flag because "thats not what a friend is for". if anything happens negative you should not share with your friends or companion or family, they have a lot going on already, why dont you go and see therapist?

like for fucks sake. that means we dont maintain relationships. we maintain transactions.

[daily-selfship-questions]

Is it okay to consider your f/o your irl partner? My f/o means so much to me and I really mean it whenever I call him my husband. Is that weird?

No, I certainly don't think that's weird at all, personally! Some people can get very attached to their F/Os, you've probably heard the "Your brains emotional department can't tell the difference between fictional and real, so when you love something, regaurdless of if it's fictional or not it's just as strong" tangent.

But like I said, some people get really close to their F/Os, and so it can be a very real thing for them and a very personal thing, too!! Some people don't want real life romantic partners and just want to pursue their F/Os and that's entirely okay as well. Truthfully I tend to feel the same way about my F/Os, and I'll speak of them as if they're real(ex. "Me and F/O did this today" or "F/O and I blah blah blah"). Some people get uncomfortable when seeing shipart or such of their F/O and makes them feel sick cause it feels like they're seeing their partner with someone else or such.

Get as close as you'd like, consider them a full fledged partner if you wish! My rule of thumb for life is if it's not hurting anyone, then why care? I don't see any harm in this. Get as close and personal as you'd like with your F/O. I'm sure everyone's been told the story of that man that married Hatsune Miku, so really go crazy.

I tried to keep this short, since truthfully I tend to yap a lot and I have a lot I could say here😅

I'd say the only cause of concern would be if you start filling out your tax forms or something with their names on it. But go crazy. Live your life, have fun, kiss your F/O when they go to bed and when they wake up, put their pictures in your wallet and frame their photos on your desk and in your lockets.

I mean, that's what selfshipping is, no? Shipping you with them, F/O stands for Fictional Other, it's right there in the name. They're your significant other(excluding the times where F/O encompasses platonic/familial ones of course). Many people ship characters and talk about how it's sooooo canonical cause did you see how they looked at each other in that one frame?? This is just you shipping yourself with an F/O, same thing. As far as I know and as I've been informed, I don't see a problem here with it.

I mean, that's what selfshipping is! You're just describing a very passionate version of selfshipping! But as I mentioned in the tags, I don't know how universal of a feeling this is, but I'm sure some feel the same

[gilgil-machine]

Which media(animes, lightnovels, manga, visualnovels, games etc) containing Gilgamesh have u finished? And which ones did u like the most when it came to Gilcontent?

Oof that's an interesting and kinda tough question because there's a lot of things in which Gilgamesh appeared in which I don't even remember them whole😅 So let's just say that I read and finished things which I was able to get my hands on or managed to find and they were available in English.

And my favorite thing of all time will always be fate extra ccc because that game just made me fall in love with Gilgamesh completely. The way his character was written in this game is just a pure masterpiece because on one hand we have this arrogant asshole king that we all hate love, we also have this big man-child dork that we roll our eyes at adore but also we have this deep and emotional character which just makes you want to just hug him tightly and never let go. And his character development is just so good. The way he goes from "This is your fight I'm just here for my own amusement." to "I am your blade and your enemy is my enemy" and how he slowly opens up to Hakuno and goes from always saying that he's perfect and being all nonchalant about everything to showing his emotions and admitting his flaws. Such a good game. Every Gilgamesh fan MUST play this game 100%.

Also I love fate extra ccc anthology because

Naked dork Gil

Expression of his more emotional and caring side of his character (not without being tsundere as well)

The next favorite thing is of course Babylonia and it's an emotional wrack. Like you see the turmoil of emotions through which Gilgamesh is going through while at the same time hiding it from anyone but still sometimes we see that mask slightly crack and it's just so sad and I wanted to hug him during such moments.

I mean just look at him, this man is so emotionally broken...

Also another thing I love about Babylonia this the way they show how Gilgamesh actually cares about his city and about his people despite him being a horrible person and just full fledged tyrant in the past. Like he knows everyone by name and how he tries to like indulge himself into the news and life of Uruk and play with kids a bit but at the same time keeping his distance from everyone. Ugh, just so wholesome and so painful.

Also this moment, such sweet moment when we see Gilgamesh from different perspective where he appears more human.

Also I like fate hollow ataraxia because again we can see Gilgamesh being a total dork and a geek that loves to read manga (and most likely play video games) and just hang out with kids and go fishing. So precious, so cute. 100/10

[cheesecake-the-chicken]

i’m actually SO mad i think i deleted my post instead of posting it 😭😭😭

i had an anon ask what i did when questioning if i’m a system since they believe they might be. i’m so sorry for accidentally deleting your ask, i hope you see this!

basically i knew from therapy that i had some “identity fragmenting” due to trauma-caused dissociation (even though i kept trying to insist i wasn’t plural 😭) i knew i wasn’t a full-fledged system like my friends with DID, but things weren’t like how they were before. all i had for my google searches was then “trauma dissociation identity fragmenting help” 😭

then i found pluralpedia and looked through a bunch of random pages/terms until i found median and i was like GUYS!! THEY WROTE THIS ABOUT US!!!!

from there i had a better keyword for research. obviously don’t use tumblr as a dsm-5 and take everything online with a grain of salt, but hearing experiences and advice from others really helped. this is something more specific to me but i also researched the theory of structural dissociation to help me better understand things:

https://www.nataliarachel.com/trauma/trauma-and-fragmentation#:~:text=When%20a%20person%20experiences%20severe,space%20for%20expression%20is%20provided.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4579498/#:~:text=Patients%20with%20structural%20dissociation%20of,concepts%20of%20self%20and%20relationships.

as for personal experience, i can’t share too much of that but i was very generously given advice/experience similar to mine here!:

i know this stuff can be really scary and overwhelming, take things as slow as you need to! it’s not a race and everyone’s experience really is different. it was super brave and cool of you to submit an ask, and i wish you luck in figuring things out. take care!!

[sophieinwonderland]

I hate how "anything can be traumatic" has morphed into "everything is trauma."

Trauma is obviously a complex subject that is defined differently depending on who you ask. A lot of people reject the DSM's definition of trauma, which only extends to life-threatening and physically dangerous situations, which is fair.

Another way to look at it is that trauma is anything that causes PTSD symptoms. I personally prefer this version.

Loneliness can absolutely be traumatizing in this way. Many people in solitary confinement are traumatized by it.

But loneliness can also be not traumatizing too. It can feel bad, but it won't always leave you with PTSD-like symptoms.

Intentionally creating a headmate to cope with loneliness isn't traumagenic in and of itself.

And even if the loneliness is traumatizing, the mechanisms involved are different from theories on the formation of DID.

The theory of structural dissociation proposes that all trauma results in EPs (emotional parts) and ANPs (apparently normal parts.) The EPs begin as the memories and experiences that can't be integrated with the other parts' self-concept. Essentially, these normal PTSD states grow into full-fledged alters through repeated trauma. (Probably an oversimplification.)

Compare this to engaging in tulpamancy to cope with loneliness or a mental illness.

You talk to someone in your head to cope with something negative. But there are no separate "EP" headmates. If a headmate is traumatized, it's still just the original, who because they're living their day-to-day life, is an ANP. If there are EPs from trauma, those aren't so distinct to have developed into headmates.

For more on the ANP and EP distinction:

These two subsystems are called Emotional Parts and Apparently Normal Part/s as first described by Charles Samuel Myers. The Emotional Parts (EP) is believed to be created because it cannot be absorbed/processed by the system/human mind and body. So the EP holds the trauma material separate from ordinary consciousness. The Apparently Normal Part (ANP) will go on with life and continue functioning as it used to until the EP is triggered. The ANP, for instance, is the part that will take us to the work, to a birthday party or to see friends.

...

“ANP “uses” EPs as mental protection, in that these EPs contain emotions, thoughts, fantasies, wishes, needs, and sensation that ANP believes to be unbearable or unacceptable”

...

People with long-term trauma have different experience of time; their present moment has a lot of past in it. EP lives in the time of the trauma and believes the past is current and very real. On the other hand the ANP believes that past/trauma is not real enough, or did not happened to them and they have no emotional connection to it “it does not feel like it happened to me”. Yet , the ANP also cannot live in present moment fully because they need to constantly watch EP to stop them surfacing or entirely avoiding them

This avoidant dynamic described above doesn't exist in many endogenic systems.

There are different mechanisms involved in headmate creation that make the processes fundamentally different. One is initially characterized by avoidance while the other is characterized by communication.

We can see this in the order they develop. In DID, these traumatized states are usually fronting as a defense mechanism before they are even fully developed. In tulpamancy and a lot of other endogenic systems, headmates are usually created first and have to learn to front later.

The results may be similar, in that you get a fully developed self-conscious autonomous agent at the end of it that is also capable of fronting. But the paths to get there aren't the same.

So please, stop trying to convince people that endogenic systems are just traumagenics in denial.

[sweet-lemonad-rose-sapphire]

Plan

(For my BOTW Prequel fic)

- My current plan for this fan-fic is that it’ll be two books long. One book about Link in training to be a full fledged knight, and the second about Link being Zelda’s protector (aka, this is when the Memories take place)

- I plan to grow Link as a character because he does go through many personality changes throughout his life (you can see this in the diaries, more prominently in Mipha’s). He goes from a reckless, bright eyed child, to someone who doesn’t speak AT ALL, to someone who treats his muteness as a personal duty to protect others and the Master Sword. I will be exploring all of this in the first book.

- In the second book, I want to focus on connections with others, specifically to someone like Zelda. I’ll be going over Link’s unwillingness to express emotion and Zelda trying to “see what’s beneath those calm waters.”

- Link WILL audibly speak, not just in the first book, before everything happens, but after that as well (remember, Daruk was probably one of the first to hear him speak since wielding the Sword). For the second book, I’ll have him speak a LITTLE more freely, since he talks to Daruk, Urbosa, and even argues with Mipha. The one person who he DOESN’T speak to is Revali, which gave me a funny theory that he doesn’t speak to those who he feels wronged by (ie. Revali and Zelda before she saw how childish she was acting).

- When it comes to looking at Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity (AoC), I’ll be taking that with a HEAVY grain of salt! I’ll be using some scenes as reference for unseen moments where characters were definitely interacting with each other (like when the King sends Link away from the Calamity to save Zelda). The scenes I take from this game will also be in pieces, such as when I need to write when Link draws the Master Sword for the first time and when he saves Zelda with that pot lid.

- The book “Creating a Champion” will also play a big role in helping me write this duology. I will be following the maps and extra information hidden within it.

- I have a name for this duology and for the books, but I’ll wait to reveal those over time. 😉

[lunerna21]

Book 7 Chapter 3

***SPOILERS AHEAD FOR BOOK 7 CHAPTER 3 AHEAD!!***

...I'm not even sure where to begin with chapter 3...

I'm still reeling from the way they ended the previous chapter

We start off seeing Idia sleeping, but Idia dreaming about Ortho being alive, Idia having more confidence, and being unable to be afraid to speak to other students.

....and then Malleus's mysterious timing, him being super perceptive about Idia possibly waking up from his dream. I WAS REELING LIKE MALLEUS!!

YOU REALLY TURNED INTO A FULL FLEDGE VILLAIN!!

Also side note, was anybody else like me losing their minds during the entrance ceremony?! Just seeing everyone interacting like it's totally normal EVEN THO THEY AREN'T REAL?!

SEEING THESE TWO, I HAD TO STOP AND SOB MY EYES OUT LIKE WHY MALLEUS I WANT TO SEE MY BEST FRIENDS SAFE AND SOUND!!

MALLEUS MALLEUS MALLEUS MALLEUS I WANT TO SEE EVERYONE I LOVE YOU, BUT I WANT TO SEE EVERYONE ESPECIALLY THESE TWO LITTLE SHITS I LOVE SO MUCH

So, of course I'm curious as to where we were, and when they showed Mickey's room I HOLLERED, HOT DIGGITY DOG, AND SCREAMED LIKE A PSYCHOPATH

MICKEY MOUSE!? WE FINALLY MEET IN PERSON!? AND WITH MY HAIRY BABY BOI GRIM!?!? I WAS FLABBERGASTED!

LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT IT!!

I NEVER IMAGINED THIS DAY WOULD COME, BUT THIS DUO TOGETHER IS SO FREAKIN CUTE!!!

But as I'm watching this happen, I realize Malleus intentionally cut us out of the picture, out of everyone's reality, because he experienced many different emotions but yet was vulnerable around us since we don’t see him in a terrifying way while also appreciating life because of meeting us and getting to know the others at NRC…

The one thing that really really, REALLY concerns me is this reference from Mickey

.......Something is going to happen to Ace and Deuce, right? And it won't be a good thing considering the cards are covered in ink...

I have a small suspicion (and hope pls don't judge me) that we get to see other overblot forms. Like potentially Ace and Deuce, but the thought of that IS NOT OKAY I DON'T WANT ANY HARM TO HAPPEN TO THEM!

And as we're about to get attacked by these blot monsters, Silver just coming to save us was amazing! Whoever does the VO for Silver is so damn good

I'm not used to seeing Silver show so many emotions, but he could be the perfect definition of a night in shining armor.

AND WE LEARNED SILVER'S UNIQUE MAGIC AND ITS SO COL!

So we only have Ace, Lilia, Sebek and potentially Grim (also maybe Ortho but I'm not too sure on that) that haven't gotten or revealed their unique magic.

IF ACE IS THE LAST ONE TO GET HIS UNIQUE MAGIC I'M GONNA LAUGH BUT ALSO SCREAM BUT I REALLY REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE GETS

I won't talk too much about Ortho interacting with his parents, but it was incredibly heartwarming that even though Ortho is a humanoid, they still love and treat him as their own child.

Damn Disney, you really know how to get the waterworks going

As we're watching Sebek's dream, I'm just incredibly nervous about how Malleus was acting completely normal, and I wasn't entirely sure if Malleus was monitoring everyone's dreams or what...

Welp, I was right. Once Silver spoke to Sebek and reminded him about Lilia leaving and potentially dying, Malleus lost his goddam shit

Did anybody else absolutely get scared shitless?! I mean he's fucking gorgeous and I love him

But I did not expect to have goddamn chills and become extremely nervous instantly.

MALLEUS IS ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING, I TELL YA

THE FACT THAT MALLEUS IS LITERALLY DOING ANYTHING HE CAN TO KEEP EVERYONE IN THEIR DREAMS TO "MAKE THEM HAPPY" TO THE POINT OF PUTTING US BACK UNDER ANOTHER SLEEPING SPELL IS REALLY SCARY

MALLEUSSSSSS WHYYYYYYY

AND THE RING HELPED US ESCAPE!! SILVER, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR YOU!?!?!

AND FINALLY, we witness Lilia as a war general AND HE LOOKS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING YET ALSO TERRIFYING (but not as terrifying as someone who completely changed and now scares the absolute living shit out of me)

AND AND AND we FINALLY got the teaser for Lilia's SSR card, folks!

LILIA?! LILIA VANROUGE!?! LIKE WOW OKAY HE LOOKS FUCKING AMAZING THIS IS WITHOUT A DOUBT MY FAVORITE CARD OF HIS

I'm sorry it took so long to post this, but I'm super excited (and of course nervous) to see what happens next with Lilia's dream!

BUT I JUST WANT TO SEE ADEUCE TOGETHER WITH US AGAIN I MISS THEM AND I WANT TO SEE WHAT THEY DREAM ABOUT

Until then, we can only wait till Thursday for the next update...

(Also, this image was amazing to see I love everything about Sleeping Beauty so I was fangirling like a psycho but I love how heavily involved the movie elements are used in Book 7)

Enough for now~~! Let me just go imagine everyone's dreams and while also coping with the fact that we’re going to get more heartbreak and angst THAT IM NOT READY FOR!!

THURSDAY CANNOT COME FAST ENOUGH~~!!!

[colourstreakgryffin]

Yandere! Romantic! KNY Kanroji Mitsuri Headcanons

Second post ever! I’d figure I would do Mitsuri next since I’ve already had a idea for her! I’m sorry, this and most likely, every other post from now on with the Yandere Hashira probably won’t be as good as the Obanai one!

Mitsuri as a romantic Yandere has the Yandere traits of; Overprotective, Clingy, Overpossessive, Bratty, Delusional, Emotional, Obsessive and Dedicated

Kanroji Mitsuri is directly in the middle when it comes to how quickly she’d form into a Yandere. She does feel love easily but she has such strong morality and humanity, Yandere views directly clash with her sense of righteousness. Though, it does cloud everything else once she does become a full-fledged Yandere for her love interest, aka you the Ice Hashira

I personally cement on the idea that Yandere Mitsuri would be a full-on brat. To her, your hers now and she owns you. She’ll throw a huge dangerous fit if anybody is trying to take her love. She isn’t necessarily spoiled but she believes she is entitled to you for herself as a whole

Mitsuri abuses her Hashira position constantly so she can force herself into every mission you’re in. She’ll talk down the people who idolise her like some goddess to cling onto you with lies fumbling out of her mouth. She no longer cares for other people’s views of her, she only cares about you;

“Hey! Dokusha must stay with me for the mission! We can’t split up! I’m a Hashira! What I say is true! So, listen to me!”

Though, she has limits in what she must do to win you over. She doesn’t want to hurt and kill innocent people, sharing this Yandere trait with Kyojuro. But she has compromises, she’ll gladly blackmail, berate, intimidate or scare away potential love rivals

Mitsuri as a romantic Yandere is very different from ordinary Mitsuri. Her personality becomes a facade and every one of her fellow Hashira slowly become terrified of her, even Obanai. But again, she doesn’t care at all for how she seems now. She wants to marry you, give you her last name and settle down with you, adopt five children and adopt five cats!

Mitsuri fantasies about a future life with you, sharing this trait with Obanai. About how beautiful you’d look in a wedding dress! Or how adorable of a mother you’d make. She gets so swept up in her fantasies that she’s regularly distracted whilst on missions

She is clingy and possessive over her love interest. She wants all of your time and won’t tolerate sharing with anybody else. They don’t love you like she does, they can just leave!

Would Mitsuri kidnap you? It’d take quite some time until she decides to kidnap you since kidnapping is preserved as a final ditch effort. She’s confident in her abilities to win your heart without foul play but if she’s on thin ice, she’ll take you for herself and hide you away in her Estate

She is quite possessed by her obsession but she cares intently for you, you’re her love after all. Your happiness matters the most to her and it hurts her heart to see you so upset. She’ll do whatever she can to make you smile, though, it doesn’t work and it worries her

Are you mad at her?! She wasn’t trying to hurt you! She just doesn’t want anybody taking you away from her! She needs you! She’ll do whatever you ask, please don’t cry anymore

Mitsuri is a VERY overprotective Yandere, just like all the Hashira. You’re in danger constantly and it doesn’t matter that you’re just as strong as she is; she has the unique sword, the unique skills and a technique that out-speeds yours by a landslide. That makes her qualified and required to protect you in this mean, cold world. Basically, you’re under her protection by force

Mitsuri loses her cool whenever a demon manages to land a hit on you. Her rationality snaps on the spot out of pure fear and anger. Sure, she hasn’t lost anybody but even just the idea of losing you is her worst nightmare. She immediately attacks the demon with such deadly bloodlust that you know you’re in more danger than ever before

Don’t worry, though, Yandere Mitsuri may be twisted and corrupted but she’d never hurt you, her darling. She doesn’t even hurt the threats she despises. You’re the last person she’d lay her hands on, in-fact, she kisses you all the time whilst so delicately cuddling you

Yes, she learns everything she possibly can about you without evading on your privacy as she respects the need for privacy. Mitsuri is badly obsessed and happily falls deeper in her obsession, she wants to know all about the woman she‘s the more deeper in love with

You both may be girls of equal size but Mitsuri is very strong and she can easily break you… in which she has done before… and she beat herself up hysterically over it as she rushed you and your few broken ribs to the Butterfly Estate. She loves you too much that she has a raging hatred at herself for squeezing too hard. Hence why, she views you as her precious glass angel as you are glass in comparison to her

She’s very clingy and affectionate, if not the most out of all the Hashira. She loves kissing, she loves hugging, she loves the cute little gestures that express affection and she does all of it with you. Staining your cheeks with her lipstick so people know you’re hers. Gifting you a matching haori to hers to act as a symbol of her dedication and attachment

Nobody else can protect and love you like she can. Nobody, nor an Hashira knows you like the back of their palm! She is so much better than all those plebeians! Trust her

Mitsuri doesn’t understand why you’re so upset at her and really can’t handle it when you yell at her after ignoring her for so long. She cries. Not because she wants to be the victim but because she’s overwhelmed by concern. Do you hate her now? You can’t! She has bent backwards for you! She didn’t do anything wrong!

Mitsuri also doesn’t realise that kidnapping you and forcing you to live in her Estate as her partner is very wrong. She is just too blinded by you and her obsessive love for you as a whole that everything cruel or apathetic she does is flung over her shoulders

She wasn’t kidnapping, she is looking out for you and she isn’t keeping you at her Estate by cruel force, she’s had you move in with her. It’s like a big sleepover

Mitsuri is dedicated to you. Her world spins for you like you’re the sun and everything she owns becomes yours in a split second. She is like a very loyal baby puppy, she gazes lovestruck at only you and rarely talks to her fellow Hashira anymore as she much prefers your company

Her obsession stems entirely around the fact you’re her savourer. You’re the little mermaid who rescued her from drowning and she makes the world revolve around you in a worship-like thank you. It may seem a bit selfish but her entire being is devoted to you and she won’t fail as the perfect future wife. She’ll know everything, she’ll remember everything, she’ll do everything for you more and more

The Love Hashira is so poisoned by her love that she blissfully ignores everybody else in thought of you and pampers herself to look prettier so that she attracts your attention. She is the attention-demanding brat that wants your hands on her, your eyes on her and your words directed to her

“Oh my. Myōji-chan, it seems I forgot to do my braids! Could you help me, please? If you do help, I promise I’ll buy you a amazing treat at the new nice, quiet restaurant! Plus, it’ll be just us and that sounds wonderful, right? C’mon, let’s go!”

Mitsuri is quite delusional and her own head has twisted her into believing you’re truly in love with her too when in reality. You’re scared of her. No, you’re terrified of her. She’s kind and all but her clingy neediness makes you very uncomfortable and you need just one day away from the extremely eager and feely woman, rather she be a fellow Hashira or not. But that won’t happen

Once Mitsuri has you in her love-heart plagued sight, you won’t leave and she won’t stop chasing after you. No matter what may happen, she’ll have you and dice up the demons in her way into million pieces with a smile

Get a boyfriend(or I guess, a girlfriend in this situation specifically) and Mitsuri will intimidate/berate/blackmail nonstop or even draw her katana as a empty threat to make him/her run away so you’ll come crying into her arms. She does eliminate her love rivals in cruel fashions but you’re her world now so it doesn’t bother her

Mitsuri is prone to lying when she’s confronted, she’s a pathological but skilled lier. She lies a lot and often gets you to (at first) believe her by using her innocent looks and slid-in emotional manipulation. Forced crying or puppy-dog eyes. Of course, she doesn’t want to mess with your feelings but she’s more desperate to keep you with her

Mitsuri would eventually propose to you and guilt-trips you into taking her hand. It’ll be the most beautiful wedding, Mitsuri promises as she begins spoiling the everliving hell out of you whilst working up to her wedding. She’s so excited that she ignores any signs of your sadness

Overall. Mitsuri, when she becomes a Yandere, is so dangerous that it’ll be impossible to escape. Even if another Hashira tried to intervene to pry her off you for good, she’d bark them away with empty threats and sword-raising. You’re stuck and your freedom won’t return as Mitsuri’s rationality is rotting away. She manipulates herself into believing every choice stripping you off a human right is protecting you

Get use to this life, cause it won’t go away anytime soon. Not even Oyakata-sama can put a end to this catastrophe

“Dokusha! My love! My little glass angel! Aren’t you so excited? We’re gonna be married in a few more hours! I’m thrilled! It’s gonna be so beautiful, we will remember this day for the rest of our lives together! I’ve got everything ready and the rings that I know you’ll love, I will be the best wife ever!”

[hauntedpenguinobservation]

Carpe Noctem - Intro Post

DEMO - tba

You are a nobody. A supposedly ordinary human in a world full of powerful beings. Your life is all in all pretty average if not bordering on mind-numbing, like watching paint dry... That is until you were kidnapped and tossed into one especially small carriage to be delivered somewhere only the ancients knew of.

From now on nothing will ever be the same and you need to adapt to the ever-changing outside world as fast as possible. All the while trying to decipher your past and with that your part in an every-growing political conflict that borders to develop into an all out war the world has yet to see.

General content warnings: Bigotry & prejudice, horror elements, interspecies awkwardness, explicit language, depictions of violence, injuries, blood and death, explicit sexual content (if selected), flashbacks of a dark past to unveil, sprinkled with some homophobia here and there & general an unfair treatment of people with disabilities.

FEATURES

-> customizable MC (name, pronouns, appearance, identity)

-> semi-set personality due to evolve (MCs reclusive upbringing)

-> 5 characters to romance (3 in book 1, not sure if the other two will follow, they'll probably be fully romanceable in book 2)

-> POVs of the ROs included

-> an open-minded author that is inclined to change NPCs to fully fledged ROs depending on the general opinion/wishes of readers

-> an emotional roller coaster, all in all nothing for ppl that want a light-hearted theme

-> later on you'll be able to choose part of your race (vampires, merpeople, demons, shapeshifters, phoenixes -and many more) & with that you can determine and further develop your special skillset.

romanceable characters:

the master [Alois|Alice|Alix] (m|f|n) 24 winters

Aloof, cold eyes and reclusive as fuck. And your esteemed master -as if any of you actually want this dynamic... A hates you and your position, especially the hidden context it supplies to everyone they meet...

A has silver eyes that always seem distant, defined cheek bones with mostly soft facial features and long, silver hair. A wears fine dark clothing without other prominent features to despict their wealth.

Content warnings for A's route: denial of feelings aka one of the slowest burns imaginable, domestic violence, implied/referenced rape/non-con, anxiety attacks, self-harm, angst & hurt/comfort

the protector [Leto] (m|f|n) too many to count

Leto is a raven-like creature most would describe as monstrous-looking. They are rarely seen and the few moments they are, death is certain. For many commoners it's enough to see one of Leto's black feathers to warrant a swift escape.

Their past eludes them and you have to wonder - why does some antics of them seem kinda...familiar?

Content warnings for Leto's route: survivor-guilt, body dysphoria, touch-starved, angst, hurt/comfort, captivity & enslavement, torture, ptsd

the assassin [Zane|Zoey] (m|f) 28 winters

Z is everything their mother wanted them to be. Her own personal weapon. One she is now inclined to use for her vendetta against you.

They have dark brown hair with intelligent hazel eyes that seem to observe their surroundings constantly. They were raised with stories about you, stories you know nothing about. How can it be that Z seems to know more of you and your family than you yourself?

Should it worry you that they sound extremely resolute in stating their sole purpose is to rid the world of your existance?

Content warnings for Z's route: enemies to frenemies to lovers, eating disorder, alcohol-addiction, a tendency of morbid jealousy, past emotional abuse & manipulation

??? [redacted]

??? [also redacted]

more info tba

Small note of the author:

Everything is slow burn in this - even the character customization, cause I want to add those moments seamlessly into the story.

I tend to take my time. You can expect me to heavily focus on the characters and their feelings, with a slight disregard to describing the environment and such. I work with minimalistic efforts to still give a sense of what I imagine everything to be but with the intention to leave fine details to the reader's own imagination.

I'll try to be considerate of everyone's preferences, especially in the more kinky parts of the story. There'll be versions for more assertive characters as well as more passive one's. Though I should add that the ROs all have their own set of bias that they prefer. However there will be growth throughout the story, including that.

The gravity of your choices will intensify throughout book 1, especially as you get to know the Circle and the Court and every other political hive of intrigue.

And yes. You can die. The ROs can die. Almost everyone will be able to at some point, I guess. Though I don't like the idea of writing a total distopia, don't expect me to change my mind regarding that one that easily.

More infos will be added over time. I'll post lore snippets of my sketchbook soon, like the worldmap, the general outlines of the Circle & the Court, the different races and such.

Asks are welcomed.

[trashno0dle]

what if i just left this here

summary:

Out of all the possible scenarios to take place at the fortress, Cal never once thought about Darth kriffing Vader showing up and flipping the plan on its head, leaving him completely and utterly lost and admittedly, terrified. He was alone, well, almost alone. Trilla was dead and Cere was nowhere to be found and Cal was standing facing the Shadow of the Empire. The feared Sith Lord who brought nothing but death, fear and despair wherever he went. ~~ [or - cal's encounter with vader in the inquisitorius, except it plays out a little differently, resulting in the story forever changed.]

basically a silly little self indulgent star wars au which i'll be posting as oneshots / short fics - aka, due to lack of time to write a fully fledged fic i'm just writing the parts and scenes i wanna write. the full au summary is in the series notes :))

snippet below the cut !!!

~~

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

The plan had been simple, or, as simple as it could be. Break into the Inquisitorius, retrieve the Holocron from Trilla and escape with minimal damage. But unsurprisingly, like everything in Cal’s life, it all had to go abruptly wrong in so many different ways. Perhaps it was his fault for not really taking the one thing that could mess up his plan into account, that maybe he should've added another plan just in case. But no, he hadn't, and it had really come back to haunt him.

Because out of all the possible scenarios to take place at the fortress, Cal never once thought about Darth kriffing Vader showing up and flipping the plan on its head, leaving him completely and utterly lost and admittedly, terrified. He was alone, well, almost alone. Trilla was dead and Cere was nowhere to be found and Cal was standing facing the Shadow of the Empire. The feared Sith Lord who brought nothing but death, fear and despair wherever he went. He'd tried running, knowing full well he couldn't take someone so powerful by himself, but now he’d found himself backed into a corner with no way out.

It wasn't supposed to be like this, Cal thought, as he raised his saber with an unsteady hold. 

He was exhausted. His disheveled appearance was enough to show that. There was a sheen of sweat on his forehead dampening his hair, his breathing came out sharp and heavy after running and exerting himself with overuse of the Force. He knew Vader could sense that. He was an easy target now, he could kill him with a lazy flick of his finger and that would be it. The death of Cal Kestis, a former Jedi Padawan who let his Master die, who died himself at the hands of a Sith just like countless others had. He knew that he shouldn't feel angry at that, but with how tired he felt, how damned scared — he wasn't exactly able to keep his emotions in check, he didn't see the point of releasing said emotions into the Force either, not when he was just moments away from death. He failed everyone. His Master, Cere, those Force sensitive younglings who were now in danger because of him. 

He was a lousy excuse for a Jedi. He wasn't even that, not officially.

The thing that managed to drag him out of his thoughts was a shrill, frantic beep from BD-1. The droid still clung to his shoulder, perched in a crouch, Cal could feel the vibrations from his tiny body — he was scared too. He felt guilty for thinking he wouldn't die alone at least. But he hoped maybe BD could escape, find Cere and the Holocron and make up for his stupid mistakes. Cal stared ahead at the looming figure of Darth Vader before him, trying his best to appear brave, but his facade was crumbling and he felt so tired. He prayed that it would be over quickly with minimal pain, which was less than what he deserved, in his own personal opinion.

“Surrender now, or die. ” Vader’s deep voice rumbled from the vocoder in his mask, his heavy breathing echoed across the walls of the Inquisitorius. 

Cal swallowed thickly, shifting his stance slightly. “Sorry, but no thanks.” He quipped lamely, his voice wavered, his fear betraying him.

“It is pointless to resist,” Vader told him. “Either fall like the Jedi before you, or submit and perhaps the Empire will forgive you for your negligence.”

“With all due respect–” which is none “–I’d rather be a traitor to the Empire than one of your little lap dogs.” Cal’s own confidence surprised him, he didn’t question it, he hoped it would last. 

“Your insolence will be your downfall.” Vader growled. “However, I sense potential, it would be a shame to put it to waste. You have spirit, too much for a Jedi, perfect for an Inquisitor.”

“Again, not interested in joining your merry little band of sithspawn.”

“So many have said, but if you will not join of your own volition, there are ways of breaking you instead.”

[comicaurora]

I've recently finished Leverage and Leverage redemption and am in the process of casually rewatching it. (Thanks for introducing me to FMAB and ATLA too btw) I just want to ask you a few questions about it, like: What are your favorite things about each character? What are your favorite things about each relationship. What are your favorite things about the group? How do you feel about the sequel? How do feel about the romance in the show? What are your favorite running jokes? Thank you

hoohoohoo, it's like an essay prompt but about something I actually like

What are your favorite things about each character?

Nate: to be honest, kind of a hard sell - definitely the protagonist I like the least, intentionally so. That said, when they're dealing with a really hateful bad guy it's always fun to see Nate turn all his asshole powers against them and get really smug about it

Sophie: extremely insightful! fun to see it weaponized, extra fun to see her very gently use it to try and help the rest of the team live their best lives, especially Parker

Parker: oh how easily Parker could have been an Obliviously Sexy Unhinged Harley Quinn type, and instead we got the first thoughtfully written explicitly neurodivergent female character I've ever seen. Never infantilized despite it being a frequent plot point that the others help her through her difficulty in social settings and with processing loss. Full-fledged character in her own right, grows and becomes more comfortable without ever having her neurodivergence "fixed". she's a great character and I find her writing refreshingly free of red flags or "oof" moments. love that she's good with kids and teaches them Crime in the first ten minutes of hanging out

Hardison: literally the only normal person in this group and I say this as a compliment. everyone else is at least kind of a james-bond-style superspy with borderline preternatural abilities but hardison is the only character I trust to order a coffee without making a scene. unconditionally the emotional heart of the group and the only character able to openly admit that he likes the other characters, which is vital in a group of Edgy Loner Crime-Boys.

Eliot: joke answer, the hair. real answer, I love any character who turns themself into a weapon and stoically accepts that they'll never be anything else again. "Incredibly simple, but in the same way that a sword is simple." Adds a beautiful substrate of angst to all of his funny or lighthearted moments, as underlying it is a character who concluded long ago that he's irredeemable, and because he thus considers himself entirely disposable and even irrelevant is now determined to spend the rest of his life making the world a better place. Also, one of the only Edgy Badass Lancer types who is incredibly overt about how much he likes and cares about his teammates and never even jokes about "bah I'm better off on my own I was just passing through etc etc."

Harry: just an absolute wet noodle of a man. Love that he's taken Hardison's role of "only normal human being"

Breanna: absolutely love how bad she is at the social grifting side of things, because that is 100% accurate to every tech person I know

What are your favorite things about each relationship?

There's a lot of relationships and I'm not about to highlight all 10 OG pairings plus the 9 new pairings added by Harry and Breanna, so instead I'll just highlight my absolute favorite underrated one, which is Parker and Eliot. They have this odd synergy where they're both by far the most physically dangerous people in the group and also the most scarred by a country mile, and they have this kind of unspoken camraderie about it that only gets overtly highlighted in Season 4 Episode 1, "The Long Way Down Job." Everyone else in the group is a person, they seem to think; people they want to protect. But the two of them are tools and weapons, and that means they can do the things that people can't. Also within this synergy there's a good foiling dynamic where Eliot has basically seen it all and come to terms with everything under the sun, while Parker is comparatively extremely hyperfocused and rather sheltered and is constantly grappling with new situations. Underrated dynamic.

What are your favorite things about the group?

They just hang out sometimes! It feels like they keep existing when the camera's off them. Valuable screentime is spent on them just chilling and chatting, getting dinner together and bringing up more wacky offscreen hijinks. A story that's relentlessly All Action And Disrupted Status Quo All The Time starts tuning you out after a while, but it's the slow, peaceful moments that make us invested in their success and in them being able to help the innocent-victims-of-the-week.

How do you feel about the sequel?

Loved the first season, tentatively optimistic about the rest of it - I've been burned before so I'm taking it slow.

How do you feel about the romance in the show?

Parker and Hardison's thing is cute and compelling! Big fan of how it doesn't override the other dynamics and isn't treated as intrinsically more important than the rest of the gang's relationships. Nate and Sophie's thing feels a little more plot-mandated and tbh Nate is kind of an unlikable fuckhead so I'm not sure why Sophie was so hung up, but it wasn't too disruptive and it was always very funny seeing them play a dysfunctional couple on a grift

What are your favorite running jokes?

"Dammit Hardison." Parker pushing people off of things. Someone asking Eliot if he knows about some niche thing or random bad guy and then it flashes back to him getting waterboarded in Area 51 or whatever and it cuts back to him mildly going "yea". Wil Wheaton is in this show and everybody hates him. "It's a very distinctive [thing]." Harry, walking befuddled sunshine man, being like "yes I know all the inner workings of this specific niche evil lawyer thing, I was a bad guy remember?" to this group of expert crime boys and somehow surprising them every time