#im not creative enough to come up with something by myself

[miss--river]

.

[garfunklefield]

Could you do cult leader! geto I’m so feral for this like he doesn’t care about his followers but reader is just so pretty and he wants to make her his lover for the whole cult to see PLS IM FERAL N I LOVE YOUR WRITING <3

Red Ink

18+ viewer discretion is advised

fem!reader/cult leader!Suguru Geto Warnings: angst, pining, slowish burn not really, selling and technically kidnapping, the reader has a sad backstory KAY [implied physical abuse], age gap [Geto is 37 and reader is 24], forbidden romance, im gonna make the reader sassy dx, alternate AU where Geto is a cult leader but it's set in more of an ancient time YOULL SEE [kind of like my happy marriage], bathtub masturbation, bathtub sex, sexual tension, cumshot [breasts], masochist!Suguru Geto, hair pulling, Word count: 7221 DESC: Suguru Geto never thought about giving a monkey who couldn't wield jujutsu a chance ... until he met you.

Hiii!!! I just got sick so please be patient my posts might get spaced out for a bit until I recover but I really like this! I took a few [A LOT] creative liberties when writing :3

If you want a guarantee I will write and post your request in a timely fashion head over to my Ko-Fi!

Every morning it was the same routine. Suguru would wake up at 7:45 AM every morning to an empty bed, with the lights a dull orange color. They hung from the room's corners and lit up just enough to let him peer around. He slowly forced himself off the squeaky mattress, becoming accustomed to the sensation of the cold wood against his bare feet. A breath of air flowed through his nose as his hand lazily trailed through his robes, hanging in his large closet. There were so many to choose from, all almost the same. Although, some details were different. Blue trim vs yellow, or a red pattern vs green. In all honesty, he never cared much about his appearance. As long as he wouldn’t have to leave, he didn’t mind his daughters or servants doing the shopping for him. Maybe that’s why the leader's hair was too long to manage, so he would lazily put half of it up in a semi-orderly bun. 

All of these people, and Suguru Geto was completely and utterly alone. He had no one who understood why he decided to become the leader of the Star Religious group so young, almost twenty years ago, at the ripe age of seventeen. All of his innocence was lost at such an age that he could feel a bitter taste rising on the back of his tongue. Bile. The taste of regret. Sometimes he looked out the window to some of the convent’s children playing in the courtyard, and he wished he had found a partner to aid him on his journey. No one ever caught his eye, no one ever piqued his interest. No one like … 

Suguru shook his head and blinked a few times, sending himself out of an impending spiral and instead leaving it for another day. He looked over to his robes, where his hand clung to his signature robe, yellow trim with a green pattern sewn to the front. There was something so comforting about this robe. Maybe because it was the first one ever made for him by his monkey servants, the only monkeys he’d ever let near his person without choosing to disinfect himself afterward. They knew their place in society and acted accordingly. The only monkeys he could tolerate. 

Another sound took him out of his thoughts, a knock on the door. He turned his head, “Come in,” was all he had to rasp. His voice was naturally soft, as he didn’t typically raise it past a whisper to most. Only when Suguru was truly enraged would he begin to scream and yell at those useless monkeys… but that was becoming rare now.

A tuft of pink hair appeared from the door as it opened, showing his secretary Manami. She strolled in as if she owned the room, opting to close the door with a push to her hip. The male watched her with an indifferent gaze as she tapped the rickety clipboard in her hand, “I found you a personal servant.”

“Personal servant? Why would I need that? I’m capable of dressing myself, you know,” as Suguru spoke he began to pull at his sheer robe, the one he slept in. His secretary looked up to the ceiling, avoiding any and all contact with his body as she possibly could. 

She tapped a pen along the rim of the clipboard as she continued, “Someone to make the bed and cut your hair. It’s getting too long, sir.” Manami swiftly raised her hand and pointed to him with the pen, still avoiding his body with her eyes up. He raised an eyebrow at her, shrugging off the robe and setting it neatly on his bed. His jaw flexed as he clenched it, in thought. Would the leader of the Star Religious group need a personal maid to do every little thing he needed? I mean, it sounded appealing to have a monkey fetch him any useless thing he requested. Watching them spread themselves thin trying to appease him. His lips pulled together in a silent smile at that thought.

“What’s this servant's credentials?” Suguru pulled his robe off the hanger and blew on it lightly, ridding it of the dust it had collected throughout the week it had been since he wore it. 

“Well she’s about 24, so past any good age to get married off,” she listed off, looking down at her clipboard as she spoke, “She’s worked in several different houses as a housekeeper and nanny, but she’s been let go for differing reasons.”

Geto slid on his robe and adjusted it until it fell across his muscular body, “Fired? Was she unruly or perhaps a pain in the ass?” A humorous tone took to his voice and Manami laughed in response, handing him the clipboard so he could see for himself. In a subtle sprawl, it wrote your name. It was interesting as he perused down the paper, stopping at the section where it detailed how you were let go: “Fired for talking back” and “Inappropriate conduct” happened to be recurring on the list, making the leader quirk an eyebrow. The last time he had anyone with some sense of personality was ages ago, as I previously stated my guy doesn’t raise his voice often. “What does she look like?” He asked, handing the clipboard back to the woman.

“I dunno. Why? Finally over your ex, Sugruuuuuuu?” Manami teased, a grin appearing on her face. However, it quickly disappeared as soon as he shot her a warning glare. Never bring up that name. Even edging around the subject, do not bring it up. Every servant and every secretary knew the leader’s past was a delicate subject. Never bring it up. 

She cleared her throat and continued, “Her parents are the ones using her for labor money. We can undercharge them for an old hag and get full labor! ‘Course, she’d have to live here… but I can situate that,” she waved a hand in the air to dismiss that train of thought, “I think it’ll be good for you, sir. Maybe you can get some release.”

She did it that time. Suguru’s eyes shot up to hers and gave her a look that would have sent anyone running. Manami apologized instantly, bowing her head. Everyone also knew of their Emperor’s lack of sexual lovers, and his constant sexual frustrations. He had never been able to fully relieve himself, for well over twelve years. There was a pent-up hunger burning inside him and no one could satiate it no matter how much he tried.

“Hire her. I wish to get acquainted with my new personal servant.”

Your personality had always bounced back even in the face of adversity, maybe that’s why every household you’ve ever worked for had fired you. Life wasn’t easy for someone like you, in a family who didn’t prioritize you. All they wanted were sons and they were blessed with a daughter who couldn’t even marry, you were a disgrace. So they decided they would use you for money if they could, milking you for every cent you were worth. However, you couldn’t keep a job. 

You started well-behaved and quiet, but soon the snippy comments would start. Then soon, you’d be making a scene, disrespectfully calling out your bosses for their treatment in a very public manner. Then they’d fire you instantly, making your family angry once more. It was a vicious cycle they couldn’t snap you from. You were never going to change until your father had announced you had been sold. 

The Star Religious group had agreed to your purchase, giving your family a sum of money they hadn’t seen in their entire lifetime. It was enough for them to skip town and leave you in your own abandoned house. Rough. Of course, that money wouldn’t hold them afloat forever, but they didn’t realize it at the time. All you could think about was the fact you had been abandoned by the people you had been blessed to, the people who said they loved you. 

You were never going to change until that day.

There was no use in fighting, because what happened after this? You’d have no one to back you up or a roof to sleep under. This time… you weren’t going to fuck it up. A carriage arrived at your vacant lot a day after your parents announced you were sold, leaving you alone with your thoughts. In a side bag were two kimonos, a compact, and a hair clip. You opened your rickety front door and peered over at the carriage with wide eyes. Normally a comment would fly out of your mouth, but you couldn’t even will yourself to speak. You didn’t have the will or energy to do anything more than sit and stare like a rock before a woman came out of it. 

She was beautiful, with short pink hair and a purple dress. She shouted your name and clasped her hands together in front of her stomach, “Oh he’s going to like you very well. Sir Geto has a thing for submissive women.” 

You couldn’t even bring yourself to laugh in her face and contradict her statement, nodding lifelessly, “I am grateful for this opportunity, Ms.” 

“Ms. Manami Suda to you!” She grinned, stepping aside to let you walk inside the carriage. It was a dull red on the outside and the same interior-wise, nothing special. You didn’t note the patterns on the inner walls or how the cushion felt. In all honesty, you didn’t care. Even though it was mid-day, you found yourself fantasizing about sleeping in a cot that wasn’t made of pure shit material, maybe even with a pillow. 

The carriage ride was quiet, aside from the occasional comment from Manami about how you didn’t have the monkey smell. Oh, that’s right… they were Jujutsu Sorcerers. You or anyone in your family for that matter were not blessed with the sorcerer gene, so you truly didn’t understand what it meant. Instead of speaking you nodded politely and let a fake small smile grace your lips, as if you were actually listening to her. The countryside was beautiful, the ride taking you deep into the middle of nowhere. Then you saw it, large buildings all coupled together to create a convent. They were tan with brown bamboo roofs, slanted to a point on the top. Incredibly gorgeous. You had always fantasized about building your own buildings one day, admiring from afar. But you weren’t built for that lifestyle. 

It was only ever going to be a fantasy for you it seemed.

The two of you entered the convent in silence, taking in the architecture. It was gorgeous, something you had seen from far away but never dared to venture to up close. You resisted so many urges to run your hand along the columns of the outdoor hallways that lined the outdoor courtyard in the center, where many of the children played. They all looked happy and free, something you found yourself envying.

“Lord Geto is right this way,” Manami spoke eagerly, walking ahead of you and motioning around, “Get used to it kid, you’ll be spending a lot of time here,” she then glanced back at you, a smile branding her lips, “Don’t get smart.” To her, she didn’t think that you were the same girl with the smart mouth that had been let go so many times. In some ways, you weren’t the same. You were so completely and utterly done with your life you couldn’t bring yourself to even have an ounce of personality you once did.

The rest of the walk was quiet before she turned on her heels to the right and motioned to a large door. It was red, with golden trim around the edges. You couldn’t see inside but you knew exactly what lay behind those doors. Manami took your bag from you politely and knocked a few times on the door, hearing some shuffling and seeing them open. Two guards opened the door, their faces stone-cold and stoic. They were almost scary looking, but nothing prepared you for the man who was behind them. He sat on a mound of pillows, head resting in his palm, and his eyes glued to you. In every sense of the word he was gorgeous, you had never seen anyone that beautiful. And he could say the same about you.

Suguru’s eyes widened just a tad as he took in your person. You were beautiful, looking hand-carved from a cloud by the finest god, wine drunk on nothing but your beauty alone. How could this be? No non-sorcerer should have ever made him stare for longer than a few seconds. Manami noticed, hell, everyone but you noticed. He blinked once, then twice, pulling him out of the trace you had put over him, a delicate smile gracing his lips. He spoke your name and used his free hand to beckon you over.

You did as you were told, walking into the room silently. But you hadn’t seen the rug placed before you or the corner of that small table. You found yourself hitting the side of the table with your right ankle, then tripping forward, completely slipping due to the rug. It was within seconds you were face down to the ground, letting out an astonished gasp. That was it. You had done it. You had tripped in front of the most notorious non-sorcerer-hating Sorcerer in the entire country. You had made a complete and utter fool of yourself and that was going to be the end of your life. A sad and embarrassed blush filled your cheeks and hollowed out your temples, waiting for your punishment. 

“I’m… so very sorry,” you managed to mumble, lifting your head from your crouched position. You didn’t hear Suguru lean forward, changing his position to kneel in front of you, and you didn’t expect him to be leaning over you so closely. His face looked down at you with a different kind of softness, raven strands of hair falling over his ears.

“Nonsense. It happens to the best of us… sit up,” he purred, whispering a magical tune in your ear. In any other person, this caring persona would have elicited a feeling of trust and safety. But you found this to be resulting in a different kind of reaction. Suguru’s brow furrowed ever so slightly when you sat up, moving to sit on your knees in front of him, and stared at him with … fuck me eyes?? No one had ever lusted after him so obviously and that quickly too! I mean he was Suguru fucking Geto, for crying out loud- he was supposed to be scary, not sexy! Well… maybe both. 

He blinked slowly to reset his thoughts, letting a gentle hand swipe past her cheek and softly hold her chin. Geto spoke your name lowly as he tilted your head to one side, taking in your features. It was nothing more than a pass over to see you fully, but you had completely soaked your underwear. Yeah, that’s right, you weren’t scared of him you were aroused. It felt even more embarrassing because it was incredibly obvious your fear-torn stare had turned into something more objectifiying. 

You were just picturing him leaning in and whispering sweet nothings as his voice broke your thoughts, “Your name is very pretty.” His voice brushed against your ears and once he retracted his hand back, a small frown parted your lips. His touch was warm and soft, contrasting the devilish stare Suguru typically wore. You wanted to relish in it for a few more moments, but you couldn’t live in a fantasy, now could you?

“Thank you, sir,” you replied, looking down to your lap. You just felt your wetness create an uncomfortable pool in your underwear, making it hard not to squirm. Especially with those naturally beautiful eyes staring at you with a hidden curiosity. 

Aside from the obvious lust radiating off of your person, you were a hard individual to read. Geto was getting mixed signal after mixed signal from your face he decided to sigh and ignore whatever he was feeling at that moment, opting to go over the business side of things. “You will become my personal servant, focussing on cooking, cleaning, and fulfilling my everyday needs. Understood?”

You nodded as he continued, “I would let Manami show you to your room… but it appears she’s wandered off,” he motioned to the slightly open door behind you, “I don’t mind showing you.” With that, the emperor stood up and cleared his throat, brushing his big hands against his robe. You watched with wide eyes as it flowed around him, making him appear more majestic than he actually was. You found yourself standing up and following your new boss, opting not to speak or do anything to draw more attention to yourself. 

As the two of you walked, the columns lining the walls took hold of your mind. The patterns in the wallpaper were one thing in itself, but the structure of the clearly customized columns made your heart flutter. It was gorgeous. Dragon scales dipped into the wall before coming out, in the middle of every door that lined the long indoor hallway. Your feet slowed to a stop, staring at the gold dragon trim. Your hand inched toward it slowly, just one touch to see the type of material. Suguru hadn’t noticed you wandered off until he turned and in the corner of his eye, he saw you stroke the wall. At first, he wanted to do the dick thing and clear his throat, embarrassing you. But something stopped him. You were as pretty as that dragon, the gold reflecting off your skin and making you practically glow in the dim light. You were gorgeous. Stunning even. It was strange, he had never felt himself this attracted to anyone in his life. Aside from- never mind. 

The leader slowly walked back, making his way behind you. You were tolerable to be around, tolerable for a monkey. That was something he had to remind himself about. You were still a non-sorcerer. You were still inferior to him in every sense of the word. Whatever feelings were creeping into his chest and making his heart sing had to get shut away in that instant, so he did the dick move and cleared his throat. 

Your hand was on one of the scales and you froze, turning your head with the speed of light to meet his gaze. “Lord… Please forgive me,” you blurted out, turning on your heel and pressing both hands to your chest, “I’m very sorry. I should never have gotten distracted. I’m sorry,” you squeaked, shutting your eyes tight. You knew what was bound to come… either a physical punishment or your letter of unemployment. Before Suguru could even respond, you lifted your head and tilted it to the side, motioning to your cheek. 

His eyebrow quirked up. He had never seen a servant ask for a punishment for their own wrongdoings, especially when it wasn’t that severe. A strange pang hit his chest, causing a weight to form across his own heart. What had happened in your sad life that made you so prone to letting people do things like that to you? This wasn’t the woman he was expecting. When you walked in, terrified and shy, then … horny, he thought he had gotten the wrong girl. Something must have happened for you to change like that. Maybe your obvious attraction was a hint of the personality you were hiding. Then Suguru had another question: why were you hiding your personality? The first duh answer was so you wouldn’t get fired right away, right? But he felt like there was something more. 

Something he shouldn’t have cared about. You were a non-sorcerer, a monkey! It was forbidden on all accords. 

Suguru blinked a few times, taking himself out of his weird spiral of thoughts to look at your face, contorted with worry, “It’s … alright. I wasn’t aware you liked architecture,” he motioned to the dragon’s golden bodice on the wall, “That was custom made from…” You let your boss explain how the dragon was made and imported, listening to every word. You didn’t want to speak and ruin your only chance at a new life. This was the one and only time you had ever held your breath, stopping any words from coming out. 

After a moment, the male paused and looked over you once more. Something was turning over inside his head and he so desperately wanted an answer. What was going on inside your head and what had deflated your personality so? What had made you turn yourself into a shell of the person he knew was still in there? …And why was he longing to see this? But he said nothing. The moment had passed and as quickly as you wandered off, you were shown to your room. If Geto had let himself unravel any further he would have requested her to accept a binding vow of pure honesty, with the promise of his protection. Why? Why was she pulling at his mind and making him lose it?

That night, he set himself a bath. The water splashed and made small waves as he dipped his feet into it, before submerging his large body. There was something so very calming about a bath to clear his mind… but he couldn’t rid it of you. Of your face, of your monkey smell, or your body. Even though the kimono you were wearing was a size too big, he still made sure to look you over subtly. He took in your large curves and bit his lip, thinking about them as he sat by himself. He was completely and utterly alone, in spirit and in a literal sense. Of course, he’d get a morning erection every now and then, but it had been a long time since something had turned him on just from the thought of it. 

One of Suguru’s hands dipped into the water and grabbed ahold of his meaty cock, dragging a hand up and down his length. It was foreign, but coming back to him like muscle memory. He didn’t want to savor this orgasm to the thought of a lowly monkey, he wanted to get it over with then pretend it never even happened. He wanted to pretend this was all some strange dream he was forced into… not at all something that was going to be plaguing him. He inhaled sharply and leaned his head back, resting his back against the edge of the bathtub. The water was coming up to his mid stomach, warming up his lower half. His pleasure was a gradual build, but he was trying his hardest to rush it. The leader wanted nothing more than to cum and then forget it. His hand tightened around his shaft, stroking upwards to find any sense of release. It was a few seconds before he came, rolling his hips a few times at the new sensation. It was a build of pure warmth before he felt his fluids ooze out of his tip with heavy force. It sprung into the water and contaminated it with his filthy seed. 

It was enough to make him grimace. A non-sorcerer made him so hot and bothered he was forced to spill all over himself, in the bath no less! First, he felt an odd sense of attraction to you… now he wanted nothing to do with it. If it was going to keep him feeling this way, Suguru wanted nothing to do with you. Even if you were beautiful, and you smelt good, and your skin was soft. He could feel it on his fingertips, a psychosomatic warmth radiating off of his hands. 

This was not going to be good for him. You were not going to be good for him.

You woke up at 9 AM sharp, not by choice. Manami shook you a few times, forced you out of your comforting dream, and made you sit up on the small cot you had gotten as your bed. It was more than you could have ever asked for, even if it was made for someone a bit smaller than you. So was your new kimono. They had a dress code for servants to differentiate them, and clearly whoever was the last servant didn’t have a very large … bust. You stared at yourself in the mirror, seeing your form ache to be freed from the tight clothing. The buttons didn’t go all the way down, exposing a bit of cleavage, and it tore a bit at the small of your back. Manami wasn’t much help either, opting to snicker at you and roll her eyes. You wanted to bite back and say something to get her riled up, but you never found your strength. Instead, you took it and nodded. 

“Okay so, Sir Geto’s room is the one to your left. Go ahead and start his bath. Don’t try to wake him up, though. He’ll be all grumpy if you do,” she explained, motioning wildly with her hands. She was a very extroverted person. Someone you would’ve gotten along with if you didn’t feel like absolute dog shit at that very moment. You nodded your head politely and exited the room, opening your bosses. 

It was neat, with barely any decor. Gas lanterns hung from the walls dimly, always keeping the room somewhat illuminated. You tried your hardest not to look at his sleeping form, but you caved. He was so gorgeous it made you pussy throb just from looking at him. His face was resting peacefully against his pillow, some black hairs sprawled against his forehead. His hair was long, longer than you expected, flowing behind him on his bed. And he was wearing what appeared to be a sheer robe. You swallowed and made your way into his bathroom, almost slipping on the excess water left behind from his previous night's bath. You were innocent enough not to question the pile of tissues on the counter, pushing them into the small garbage pail. Then it was a matter of setting up his bath.

In a cabinet hidden by a curve in the wall, you noticed some aromatic bath salts and other essential oils. One of the households you worked for was very into the essential thing, so you had an idea of what scents went together. You didn’t want Geto to smell like a whole mixture of things, but rather one family of scents. You chose a vial of rosemary, lavender, and peppermint oil, hoping it would go together. The bath turned on with a single turn of the knob. Your hands rested on the base of the tub, feeling the water to make sure it wasn’t too hot. It got to the perfect temperature and you put the stopper on the drain, letting it fill up. In the meantime, you sat on the edge of the bathtub and peered around the bathroom. It was again, tidy and austere. He didn’t have an eye for decorating or he didn’t enjoy it. 

You heard a faint groan in the bedroom, signaling Suguru was waking. You inhaled the smell of rosemary and turned on your side to watch as it spilled one drop at a time from the vial. Then fell the peppermint, followed by the lavender. The scent filled the bathroom in an aromatic fashion, filling your senses with a sudden calm. Was it some kind of drug concoction? It was a smell that made you lean back and sigh, filling you with a sense of safety in your surroundings. 

“Good morning,” Suguru spoke, a raspy edge to his voice. Your eyes shot open from their closed state and you stood up, clasping your hands on your chest to hide your cleavage. But you hadn’t seen him staring at you from the bathroom door. He leaned against the doorframe, in only his thin nighttime robe, and stared at your thick breasts. The fabric was so tight, it pulled gaps between each button. He had to admit it, it was hot. Even if you were a filthy monkey, you were a hot filthy monkey. A hot filthy monkey with a banging body. 

“Lord Geto, I was preparing your bath,” you stepped to the side and motioned to the filling water. He caught a glimpse of your back as you turned to turn the knob to the water down to a stop. He saw the tear and the bit of your lacey underwear peeking out from underneath it. Was he that much of a monster that the first time a beautiful non-sorcerer appeared, he’d cave and melt? 

It was starting to feel that way as something came out of his mouth, “How do you feel about me? …Honestly.”

You opened your mouth to respond, on autopilot, before you closed it as quickly as you opened it. What could you say? You found him attractive and you wanted him to breed you? You couldn’t exactly say that, so instead you opted for something more generic, “I think you’re a very respectable leader and emperor to your coven.”

Bull. Shit. Suguru knew it was a lie and he knew you knew it as well. He didn’t have a reputation for being respectable in any sense of the word. He was a cold-blooded killer who’d murder anyone who wronged him in any way. A cold-blooded killer who was beginning to have a strange soft spot for you… 

“Tell me this,” he took a step forward, “if you vow to never lie to me again … I vow to protect you from getting fired, no matter what.” Was he seriously going to bindingly vow himself to some non-sorcerer? Was he seriously going to do this because he wanted to know how he was perceived? 

“...Really?” You asked, your mouth opening slightly. All he wanted was honesty?? You could do that! You could do that so well!! 

“Really,” Geto took another step forward and began to undo the tie holding together his robe. You had made it a point to stare at his face, but you were aching to quickly glance down below his belt. Just for a second.

“Okay. I swear…” You looked away and bit your bottom lip for a moment. You’d have to be honest now. You looked back at the man and let a smile appear on your face, “I think you’re more hot than you are scary.” 

Suguru’s eyes widened. That’s not at all the kind of tonal shift he had expected from you. He expected you to admit some kind of vague attraction and perhaps that he was a terrifyingly charismatic leader. But… he got a response which made an embarrassed blush fill his temples. 

“I’m .. hot?” He raised an eyebrow, pulling off the robe and letting it fall to the floor. Your eyes didn’t shy away now, making direct eye contact with his flaccid cock. It was beautiful even in that state, making your mouth hang open just a bit more. It was huge too. Thoughts of his girth stretching out your tiny pussy flooded into your thoughts. He could fuck you so good with that thing. And his voice… it was perfect.

“A lot of you is hot,” you looked back at his face, which was an excruciatingly bright shade of red. No one had ever felt this comfortable to objectify Suguru this way to his face. He couldn’t deny the fact he was growing to enjoy it. And grow in other ways. He took a few more steps forward, hands reaching out and pulling you closer to his front. 

“You’re being filthy, not honest,” a small smirk graced his lips as he stared down at you with half-lidded eyes, beaming with lust. 

“I can do both,” you returned a smile. A weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You had complete and utter job security. That’s all you could have ever wanted in your entire life, just a place to stay. Even if it meant working with this hot guy for the rest of your life, you didn’t mind. Although, he thought of you as inferior, you didn’t care. That’s what did it. Your personality had been led out of its cage and shown to Suguru’s perverted gaze. He realized what kind of person you were from your few sentences. You were just as much of a pervert as he was. The tonal shift was enough to make you realize what his next plans were, especially when he let his big hands snake around your waist. 

“This is,” Suguru let out a breath and craned his head down, brushing his lips past your ear, “Very wrong… But I can’t help but imagine what it would be like to kiss you, pretty girl,” he cooed, using his free hand to tilt your chin up to face him as he pulled his face back. You both looked at each other’s features for a moment without anything. What was there to say? You could feel him throbbing between your legs with that massive log he had attached to his front. It was hot. You just wanted to trail your hand down his chest and watch him shiver when you got to his v-line.

“You can’t fire me… so I don’t care,” two hands found themselves placed on his bare chest, running up and down his pectorals, “Am I too lowly for you, sir?” You purred, looking back up at him with a lustful expression. It was all you had to say before he proved you wrong. Devastatingly slow, he brought your lips together. The hand on your chin disappeared, moving to rest upon your ass. You sighed into the kiss, molding your lips together in perfect synchronization. It was as if his mouth was made for you, pulling you into sensations you had never felt before. The kiss didn’t last long before he pulled back and looked down at you with an unmistakable expression. He was going to fuck the living shit out of you. It was written on his face from the way he was clearly thinking about how to go about it. There was a bathtub full of aromatic water, waiting to be used… You looked down at the tub and looked back at him. You two didn’t have to say anything as his hands grabbed at the hole from the back of your kimono and ripped it. It made a loud tearing sound and he continued to pull, until little to no fabric hung from your breasts. 

You gasped and looked down at the mess he had made, moving to undo your underwear, then you looked at his cock. It was just aching to be touched in some way. Your hand found his tip and started to stroke down his shaft, then up. Who knew a non-sorcerer's hands would feel phenomenal compared to his own? Suguru let out a faint groan, leaning into your touch. He had never let himself take pleasure in things, ever since his breakup [at KFC] twenty years ago… but now it felt different. He felt like he had one chance to do this and he wasn’t going to spoil it. Your hands were so warm, he could just imagine how warm your mouth would be, gagging on his length.

Large hands cupped your ass and lifted your body, causing you to exclaim loudly and wrap your arms around his neck for stability. He was so strong, you could hardly believe it. It was pure talent and genetics that made him perfect on every level. His face was godly and his body was sculpted from the heavens just for your perverted stare. The male set you down gently in the tub, being mindful to make sure you didn’t land too hard on your plush backside. He wanted to save the bruising on your skin for when it was from him. He wanted his hands to be the ones leaving imprint after imprint on your skin, slapping and grabbing without a care for what would be left behind. He plopped down into the water, not caring if he got water to spill from the sides. He didn’t care about anything, because his hands and eyes were glued to you. His hands hooked around your hips and pulled you onto his lap, still being mindful not to hurt you. 

You grinned and leaned forward, pushing strands of ebony-colored hair across his forehead and away from his beautiful eyes. Purple, they stared back at you gently. “This… is nice,” you spoke softly, pressing your lips first on his forehead, then his nose, before landing on his lips. It was chaste, as the first kiss had been. But it didn’t stay that way for long. Suguru’s tongue slipped its way into your mouth and took over with a dominating force, making you bite back a whimper. It felt so good. He knew exactly how to move it to elicit whatever reaction he pleased. Your hands raked through his hair, before grabbing fistfuls at the root and moaning into his mouth. He liked that, moaning with you.  

“...Harder,” he mumbled against your open mouth, kissing back for more.

“What a pretty little masochist,” you smiled, running your hands through the roots of his hair before clenching them down and yanking up another fistful, hearing him whine in his low gravelly voice. Fuck… it just made you so wet. You clenched your thighs together as you kissed up his face, pulling his hair just to hear the ardor-esc moans fill the room. This was even better than sex, just hearing him get a little bit of pleasure out of this hair-pulling would’ve been satisfactory. But as you did this, you felt his hands fondle your ass, squeezing and palming your skin. It wasn’t long before he lifted you and had you position his throbbing dick against your folds. 

You had never felt a dick this good penetrate you in your life. Something about the way it curved to the left and the bulbous head, touched areas you didn’t even know you had, just on the way down. You threw your head back in a breathy whine, rocking your hips back and forth once you felt yourself hit the base of his cock. Suguru used his two hands to help you slide up his length, then down again. He had you trapped in a rhythm of fucking your tight cunt with his member, making you his fuck toy. The male had never felt himself slip into such a trace over a monkey of all people. Non-sorcerers should have not had this hold on him, but you were different. You gasped and bit down on your hand to stop a loud groan escaping your mouth, with your breasts bouncing with each thrust. 

“Dirty slut,” Suguru uttered, biting on his bottom lip to stop his own noises from getting too loud. No one could figure out this was happening. It was wrong. It was against everything he had ever stood for. But …god it felt so good. Your walls clenched around him every time he forced you down on his length, taking the time to feel up your hips and ass. You were so soft, inside and out. The perfect toy he could use. 

It didn’t take him long to feel close, a familiar pang of desire creeping up the shaft of his cock. You were beyond ready to cum, with this log inside you it wouldn’t take long. You bit down on your fingertips and cried out, not having time to muffle your wails of pleasure. It was a warmth you hadn’t felt in such a long time wash over your whole vagina, flushing out through your body next. You convulsed, grinding your hips back and forth to continue to elongate your high for as much as possible, causing a second orgasm on your way down. No one had ever made you cum like that, making you dumbfounded by the sheer will of their dick. 

The cult leader felt himself throbbing for release, but as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t do it inside you. There couldn’t be any evidence of your joint mistake running around in nine months, not here. Instead, he pulled you off his cock and pressed his lips together, “Press your…” He motioned to your breasts then his cock, “So I can…” You nodded and pressed your tits together, pushing them up against the length of his dick. That was all he needed, using his left hand to finish the job. He focused his energy on the swollen tip, leaking precum and begging to release all over your mounds of perfect flesh. Mounds he wanted so desperately to put in his mouth and suck. 

Then he came, splattering out of his cock and messily coating your tits. Most of the cum was on your skin, although half of it also found its way into the water. You bit your lip as he came and thrust into the air, into nothing. It was like volt after volt of pure pleasure was shot through his urethra and forced out in one big release, a release he didn’t know he was even capable of. Your cunt had felt so good it made Suguru’s dick completely sensitive to any kind of touches, including his own. So when he came, he let out a loud whine, in his devilishly low voice, “F-fuck… mmm shit.. This was.. Hah.. a mis-mistake,” he breathed out, trying to regulate himself after he had just felt an explosive orgasm run through his penis.

You nodded and looked down at your breasts, coated in his cum. How were you going to explain to Manami that all of your clothes mysteriously wound up torn in Lord Geto’s bathroom? And how were you going to explain the fact you were also covered in Lord Geto’s cum?

“...Can I call you Suguru now?” You asked after a moment, tilting your head to the man who looked as though he had just run a marathon. 

There was something utterly interesting about your personality now that you had freed it from your nervous shackles. Suguru didn’t want to extinguish this new fire in your eyes, he wanted to foster it and let it burn. There was no way he was developing some kind of feelings for you other than lust… there was no way. But there were going to be dramatic changes now. After that day, you were treated as one of the regular Sorcerers, which infuriated Manami to no end. You were the most prized possession of Suguru Geto and everyone knew not to anger or upset you because he would get wind of it. Then… there’d be trouble. You were his prized possession. The possession he wanted to see smile and laugh in the sunlight, rather than stay inside and do mindless chores. The possession he wanted to have slept next to him in his bed at night and wrapped his large arms around. 

The possession he was growing to… love.

[neil-gaiman]

hi neil !

i have to write a short story for the final assignment worth 90% of my creative writing uni module, it has to be 4k words. i’ve been putting it off for months because 1) i’ve been depressed and can’t find the motivation to do anything, 2) im deathly scared of it being bad because 3) graduating my course counts on the grade i’ll get for it. writing and reading has been a huge motivator to not give up on a future for myself. i am basically terrified of writing and submitting it. all the ideas i have feel bad, or i can’t execute them, or it’s not what the marker would be looking for. i’ve had the deadline extended into summer but i just can’t bring myself to write anything. how do you make yourself write when it matters so much? when something big rests on its quality, and it scares you?

thank you so much :)

There was a colourist I knew who wanted more than anything to colour a comic book I was writing. I got him pages early to start colouring, talked to him about what we were trying to achieve. He was really smart and brilliant and I knew he'd do a great job. The editor was waiting for his work to come in.

He may have started. He may not. I don't know. All I know is he was so obsessed with it being perfect that he never sent the pages in. The person who wound up colouring the comic got the job because we were out of time and our first choice had never sent anything to the editor.

The moral I took from this is that any work, no matter how bad, is better than no work, no matter how brilliant.

I pass this along to you, in the hope that it helps. Divide 4000 by how many days you have to go, and then double that. That's what you have to write each day to get 4K written, with enough time to revise it thoroughly on the other side. Get anything down in the first half of the time. Make it brilliant in the second half of the time.

Good luck.

[hijackalx]

MALE BG3 COMPANIONS TURN ONS/KINKS +18

FEMALE BG3 COMPANIONS

NON-COMPANIONS/NON-ORIGIN COMPANIONS

A/N: i limited myself to just 5 per companion otherwise this would get wayyyy too long lol but if u guys want pt. 2 let me know 💗

ASTARION

CORRUPTION

ok this is mostly because he has more than one instance in the game where he mentions virgins lol. i think he would totally get off on "corrupting" someone inexperienced and sweet, like i can see him loving the idea of teaching u or showing u new things. will poke fun at how innocent u are and the whole time he's ROCK fucking hard 😭😭

BRAT TAMING

this man loves to play games. he likes people who have nerve but mostly because it feels so good to put them in their place. the act of MAKING u obey is so hot to him and soooo fun (he’s also into how it humiliates u by making u submit)

AGE DIFFERENCE

NOW LISTEN !!! LISTEN he is OLD !!!! as FUCK !!! he's been alive a longggg time. i think it probably turns him on to be more experienced than u not only in bed but in general. ok i will come clean i'm thinking of the conversation he has with wyll about the word "agog". like secretly he probably loves that ur so young and dumb 💗 (even if ur not actually young, just young in comparison to him) he feels some kind of superiority when he bestows his old man wisdom upon u ⚡️🧙‍♂️ also it prolly adds some "forbidden" or "taboo" feeling to the sex that he likes 🤫

BONDAGE

the fact that u trust him enough to do something like this is so hot. he likes to watch u struggle against the restraints while he teases or overstimulates u. probably the type to use silk or fluffy handcuffs lol. afterwards he’ll kiss any bruises/marks left behind (the best part)

DACRYPHILIA

I ALWAYS SAY THIS IM SORRY but since he has that sadistic side i genuinely think he's into seeing u cry. the sounds/faces u make and seeing u reduced to such a vulnerable state. will try to overstimulate u to the point of tears so he can wipe them off ur face and make u clean them from his fingers hehe 💗

GALE

TEMPERATURE PLAY

OF COURSE this mf is using magic for this. he'll get pretty creative with it too— ooh wait bondage using ICE restraints??? yes ??? no ??? can he do that ??? anyway. he will tease a lot by switching between hot and cold, mostly because he loves watching how u react. likes if u use it on him too but not as much as he likes using it on u.

EXHIBITIONISM/VOYEURISM

i think he’s the type of dude to want to watch u touch yourself. and vice versa. will also want to jerk off while watching clone!gale fuck u. he’ll want to fuck in places where u guys might get caught too, mostly because he wants to show u off and make other people envious

SEX TOYS

^^ like i said before he’ll want to watch u use toys on urself, also might like it if u let him tell u how to use it. he’ll use some too, but usually only if u want to watch him use it on himself (or if u use them on each other obv). he doesn’t really use them much alone. the exhibition part is what’s most exciting to him

FACESITTING

probably one of his favorite positions honestly. he just really likes to eat u out and he’s soooo good at it. loves the feeling of ur weight on his body and how u grind against his face. it also gives him lots of access to ur thighs so he can squeeze and kiss them 💗💗

CLONING

i already mentioned how he’ll watch clone!gale fuck u. but he will also want to tag team/double team u with clone!gale 😭😭. can he do clones of other people? if he can he might also like making a clone of u too. that would be the craziest foursome ever holy shit LMAOO imagine getting fucked by URSELF (he would be so into watching that honestly that’s a gale top 3 fantasy moment)

WYLL

BREEDING

i think he wants to have so many babies. and to stuff u full of babies. filling u up with his cum is so hot to him and he will go multiple rounds just to really get it in there LMAO also really likes the way his cum looks when it’s leaking out of u 💗

PRAISE

he loves to give AND receive praise. he will tell u how ur doing so good for him and how beautiful u look. BUT he also wants u to tell him how good he’s making u feel and how handsome he is (he’ll lowkey get kind of insecure if ur too quiet, he really feeds off of how u respond) he also likes praise in the form of noises too if ur too shy to say anything lol

ROLEPLAY

i think he would he into roleplaying a little bit. particularly him being a knight and u being his prince/princess. will want u to dress the part and everything. he really gets off seeing u in the regal get up— i don’t think he would go too overboard with the knight thing though (like putting on an entire steel knight outfit 😭😭 that would take too long to get off. he’d combust) but he’ll prolly put on a little chainmail or something if u want.

CLOTHED SEX

yeah he’s going to want to fuck u with the princess/prince fit ON. but also i think he’d really be into dry humping tbh….. like if he’s saving himself until marriage then i don’t think he sees dry humping as real sex so it’s okay ooohh that’s so naughty wyll 😈😈 probably loves to watch u get off on his thigh through ur clothes

SENSORY DEPRIVATION

THIS…… might be far fetched…… but i feel like he’d be into this. like blindfolding (yes he’d let u blindfold him too), wearing gloves when u touch each other and etc….. wait the gloves is actually so hot though like leather gloves? imagine he blindfolds u and then touches u with the gloves on…. ooh baby

FEMALE BG3 COMPANIONS

NON-COMPANIONS/NON-ORIGIN COMPANIONS

[nofingjustaninchident]

Hi, I just saw your Jason Grace general headcanons and I was wondering, can you do a Jason Grace boyfriend headcanons this time?

Jason Grace boyfriend hcs

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

content: jason grace boyfriend material

warnings: f1 references, one direction references, other than that just mushy gushy fluff

a/n: yk what? i absolutely hate writing hcs. i prefer one thousand times to write fics. the problem is, i don’t have creativity enough to write a fic, and neither do i have time. when i have inspiration, im usually in class and i hate writing fics in my notebook but whatever. i hope you enjoy?? lmk!!

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

He. Is. The cutest boyfriend ever. In the whole world.

He’s literally the sweetest person

With you? My gods

My boy’s whipped.

He’d do absolutely anything you asked him to do, and it’s kinda cute

But also kinda scary cause he’d kill someone if you asked him to

He memorized all of your favorite artists’ songs so you can talk about that together

Frequent dates!!

Lots of gifts in absolutely random occasions

At the beginning of, he was so touch starved it was almost pitiful

But he started to loosen up the more you got into the relationship

Now he just can’t keep his hands away from you, doesn’t matter how

Interlocking pinkies or hands? Check. Hugging you from behind if you’re talking to someone? As long as you don’t get uncomfortable.

He’s just super clingy, and it’s the cutest thing ever.

He looks just like a lost puppy.

He just needs a little bit of love

Cause it’s all too much for little Jason Grace

F1 joke sorry i can’t help myself

ANYWAYS

Back to my man

He loves when you braid his hair or just spend time with you in general.

He always seems to know when you’re down

Cause he usually does know

And when you’re with your friends and he notices you’re not feeling well

He gives an excuse and pulls you with him

When you get to his cabin he just cradles you into his chest and whispers sweet nothings into your ear.

He’s a great listener, and his favorite part of the day is when he gets to come home and listen to you

If you’re not the talker type, he can talk for you

He just wants you to feel comfortable around him, always.

He feels so bad when you’re mad at him or he knows he did something that probably hurt you

Even if it didn’t, he’ll apologize for the next weeks

And some days you’re just cuddling together in a totally allowed sleepover (Aphrodite threatened Mr. D to let you sleep together, but that’s not the point), he’ll just sniffs in your hair and mumble soft ‘i’m sorry’s and ‘i love you’s into your head.

He’s just the cutest person in the world.

You know that song “In a world of boys he’s a gentleman”?

It’s him. Momma Taylor wrote it for him. I know, i was there. I was the pen.

Sometimes he just gets super clingy out of nowhere, and it’s super cute in your opinion

Even if he’s embarrassed of it later on.

If you have curly hair, he’ll ask Leo how to style your curls so he can help you

He also learns all your skincare steps so he can help you with it when you’re too tired to do it yourself

He loves when you just lay on his chest and falls asleep, he can keep reading and caressing you

He’s so in love with you it’s gross

You can bet your life that he has a picture of you in his wallet

And if demigods had phones, his wallpaper would be you & him

Oh, i just know he loves listening to one direction with you

I’m not gonna elaborate. He just does.

He’s a very smart man, so he studies a lot

And he absolutely loves when you’re there with him

But in the end he doesn’t study, he just admires you as you scrunch your nose and pouts, trying to understand something.

He loves loves LOVES going on double dates, like you & him and will & nico. It’s like his two favorite people in the world and Will as a bonus

Hehehe sorry he loves Will too

But not as much as he loves you and his younger brother Nico

If you have younger siblings in the mortal side, he’s always asking to go to your house cause he LOVES kids

He just loves to take care of them

And deep down he’s also a little bit scared that maybe he’ll not live enough to have his own

But sometimes, in the middle of the night (when the wolves come down) he finds himself staring at the ceiling and imagining how you and his kids would look like

Would they have your hair and his eyes? Maybe your freckles and his personality?

He just likes to imagine how would it be like, your family

For last, your mortal parent immediately likes him. Like, sure, there’s that whole “if-you-hurt-my-daughter” blah blah blah

BUT

they know that he’s super protective

But he’s a great boyfriend.

And if you’re happy, they’re happy too.

And Jason fits in that list.

a/n pt2: I. MADE. IT. LONG. AND I CANT BELIEVE IT!! but look, i promise that im writing a real thing, it’s just that im drowning in homework and my mom is gonna give birth soon and. i feel like jason rn tbh

[iisasxia]

Slight SH mention

Hiya, I wanted to see if I could request a fem reader with sanemi. Reader has a sister with scars all over her arms and thighs who kinda acts like sanemi, and reader tells sanemi that his personality and scars don't bother her because she's used to it. Sorta "you're beauty never really scared me" vibes. If you don't want to no worries, please and thank you.

ahh no worries sweetheart, I’d love to write something like this, especially since it’s Sanemi & it’s such a creative idea !! xoxo - author 🦇🩷

Summary: fem’reader is with Sanemi and sometimes she catches him apologizing for his demeanor but reader reassures him it’s alright because she knows what it’s like seeing as she has an older sibling who acts just the same.

Notes: SELF-HARM WARNING ⚠️ & sfw (safe for work)

You were currently at the butterfly estate, taking some space in one of Shinobu’s rooms you decided to work on a map of different areas to patrol around nearby villages. The door was open just wide enough for you to see the blue grayish clouds that filled the sky and soft rain fill into the garden. It was peaceful and you were humming a little tune to yourself while you worked away and of course with a little help.

You were sitting on your knees atop a cushion and right below you was your sleepyheaded boyfriend Sanemi. His head was resting on your lap and he, from what it appeared, was asleep. You stopped what you were doing and looked at him, seeing how at peace he looked you smiled and gently ran your fingers through his hair. “Need something?” he asks, from his voice he didn’t sound like he was sleeping, just keeping his eyes closed and resting a bit. “Mnm, just admiring.” Despite his eyes still being closed he could hear the slight smile behind your words. Something hit him, like it tugged on a heart string.. somewhere in the back of his mind he feels like he doesn’t deserve you. You’re such a sweetheart, loved by many and your aura shines in a way that even butterflies are drawn to it. It makes him think if he’s really deserving to be your partner. Why put up with him? How could you handle him? And at that how could you love a man who looks like him? His body full of scars, from his nose down to his legs, and to him it never mattered at first but what if it does to you?

“Nemi’, what’s wrong?” He was so lost in thought he didn’t realize you had been talking to him the whole time. He opened his eyes and was ready to speak until he saw the small frown on your face, he felt even worse now, it feels like he’s doomed to just bring you down or hurt you. “I’m sorry. I never realized how much I dragged you down in our relationship.” He wasn’t looking at you anymore, how could he look you in the eyes? “Sanemi where is this coming from-“ “I feel like I’m not good enough for you.” “For me??” “Yes. I love you for you and because of that I never thought that there could be a possibility you don’t feel the same way. As a Hashira I feel like I know myself and I’m secure in me but as your boyfriend, I wonder what you think of me.” “Sanemi-“ “I know I don’t always say it but you’re perfect y/n. Your aura, your personality, and even just you in general. You’re gorgeous and there’s no way you don’t know that but then I think about how I look standing next to you. These scars.. you don’t think I look weird with them? Maybe even ugly.. I’m not one to doubt my looks but sometimes when I look at you I just ask myself, what made you pick me?”

It was quiet for a moment, he didn’t look at you until he realized the silence and your face made his heart sink. You weren’t crying but you looked so devastated. Shit. Did he make it worse?

“Im sorry I didn’t-“ “I haven’t told anyone else, especially because she’s not happy seeing where I am now, but I have an older sister who is exactly like you.” Sanemi’s eyes widened a little bit in surprise, you have a sister?? “She was a Hashira and retired, but like you she had Marechi blood so she would also cut herself in battles. She would come home with new scars in new places and I couldn’t help but want to take care of her. Instead she would push me aside and use them as a reminder to not go out at night or fight those ‘things’ (demons).” You looked up a bit, now no longer looking at Sanemi as you began to reminisce about those days. “Every morning it was the same routine, scars, pushed aside, and reminded. At first it hurt because I felt so useless but then I realized she was just scared. She didn’t want me to end up like her so she tried to scare me into staying away from the path she took. It didn’t work seeing as I’m a Hashira today. Her and I still haven’t spoken since I announced it to her.” You looked down at Sanemi and noticed he had a small frown on his face. “I love you because I know your heart is pure, but out of fear for others you push them because you don’t want to lose them. Just like my sister. I’ve never found your scars ugly because I know that the cause behind them comes from you caring, protecting people, and just like my sister I accepted them. Not once have I thought they where ugly.” You began running your fingers through his hair again and smiled. “Sanemi, I fell in love with you because your heart showed me who you really are. I know how to love you because I loved someone who was just like you and that will never change. I haven’t stopped loving my sister and I won’t stop loving you. Your scars and your personality are just a bonus for me and I’ll remind you every day by kissing each and every one. So, Mr. Shinazugawa, does that answer your question?”

Sanemi closed his eyes again. His heart was pounding in his chest, he’s never felt so loved and heard until he met you. Somehow you reached a part of him he didn’t even know existed. You kept pulling on his heart strings and he didn’t know how much of it he could take.

“Yes” he calmly said and you smiled in response, going back to humming the song from before and working on the map.

I wonder how long he should wait before finally being able to show you the gift he got you…so you could finally be Mrs. Shinazugawa.

(I know it took a bit ! Sorry luv, I kept editing it but I hope you like it<3)

[spencerreidsbookfairy]

SET UP.

famous!readers back you guys and its angstier than ever.

Okay so I skipped dinner.

I physically couldn’t handle the expected awkwardness 

I lied and told him my manager needed to to talk me and it was urgent

He's a profiler you dumb bitch

Part of me feels bad, but it’s not like I don’t want to make amends with him and his team; it’s just that ever since I was a little girl, I’ve struggled with confrontation, and it’s followed me into adulthood. I know avoiding the issue won’t make it go away, and I’m fully aware that he probably sees right through my excuse. Still, the thought of facing him and his team, of having to explain myself and potentially deal with their disappointment, feels like too much to handle right now. It’s frustrating to be so paralyzed by something as simple as a conversation, but I’m hoping that with time and a bit of courage, I can find a way to address it.

Adding to my anxiety about confronting them is the lingering sting of how they treated me behind my back. I’d overheard them making fun of my singing and mocking my songs, which felt like a punch to the gut. It wasn’t just the hurtful comments but the sense of betrayal from a group I had hoped would be supportive. The thought of facing them now feels like stepping into a hostile environment, where every word and gesture might be laced with judgment or ridicule. This makes my reluctance to confront the situation even more overwhelming, as the fear of being dismissed or belittled looms large.

On top of everything, I already feel incredibly insecure about being around Spencer’s team. Here I am, a singer trying to make a name for myself, while they’re FBI profilers, experts in their field, and it’s hard not to feel like my career is a joke in comparison. The stark contrast between our worlds—my creative, emotionally driven profession versus their analytical, high-stakes work—makes me question if I even belong in their presence. Every interaction feels like an unspoken judgment of my career choice, amplifying my insecurities and making me doubt whether my passion for music is taken seriously or just seen as a frivolous hobby in their eyes.

I then decide to go out to a party to self soothe God knows i need it, seeing all my friends 

Bella, gigi and ariana all my friends making it their duty to make me feel better about my current situationship

I then see a blonde, gorgeous woman walk into the club 

Its lila archer

No.

No.

Lila always secretly resented me, for what reason i'm not sure, but one thing i do know is that i'm not the problem lilas notorious for being a huge bitch to almost everyone she comes in contact with. Her fame getting to head 24/7 I truly want someone to shoot me if i ever turn out to be like her, so rude so dismissive so-

Wait whys she walking over here? Was i talking out loud???? 

“y/nnnnnnn???’’ she dreadfully drags out. ‘’ what are you doing here, everyone else told me youve been at home moping over a guy” voice FILLED with mockery terribly trying to be hidden with concern 

I finally get the courage to say something.

“ wow words get around fast i guess”

“ im here for you you know, if you ever need advice, like beauty advice, or just friend advice”

Oh. 

I already feel immensely insecure around her. her gorgeous eyes, body face, dating history

Before i can say anything back she chirps up and says

‘’ what is his name anyways? Wont spill the beans, promise.”

“Spencer.”

‘’ wow so I don't get a last name” she says and laughs, " that poisonous laugh will kill me one day.

‘“Reid.’’

I can see the knowing smirk forming on her face and i'm confused on whats humorous about his name

‘’ oh my god, you mean FBI spencer reid, that dirty dog just can’t get enough of the public eye girls can he, he sure does have a mouth on him though.’’

Fuck. my. Life. 

He said i was his  first girlfriend,

Im hyperventilating internally 

‘’ maybe you're thinking of someone else lila, spencer said i'm his first girlfriend”

‘’ Oh you probably are, we still had fun though, he saved my life. Of course I'd reward him for it.”

I swear the music in the club stopped when she said that

‘’ excuse me.’’

I say as i quickly power walk out the nightclub and into my car to go home

You might be asking why i'm freaking out so bad

Spencer told me we were each others first time.

I gave him my virginity thinking it was his first time too.

He lied.

He lied.

He lied.

[elfbitches]

hi :) an update and reintroduction to myself, since its been a long time and things are different now

a lot of very big life-changing things have happened to me since i've been away, some very bad, some very good, all very hard stuff to go through. i moved to another country(!), got married to my partner and best friend of 7 years (!!), and im currently in the process of filing for immigration(!!!). ive also been grappling with mental and physical health issues that, for now at least, need to be managed without professional help which makes the challenging things even harder. but im here, im alive. imperfect, with a lot i need to work on, but im still trying and my life is several lightyears away from what it used to be. ive finally landed where im gonna stay, and now i can finally recover with the stable ground ive been without for my entire life.

ive been wanting to find a way to come back to social media after abstaining for over a year now aside from checking in now and then, and i had this sort of self-imposed pressure to make it something Significant with beautiful artwork to announce my return and signify how hard ive been working on recovering mentally emotionally physically and artistically. so i kept delaying it because nothing ive been making seemed amazing or groundbreaking enough to warrant all the fuss, and in the process depriving myself of basic human interaction because i didnt feel good enough about myself to show up empty-handed. however i now realise that that impulse was the same sort of mentality that got me so catastrophically burnt out so many times before, that my creativity and artistic output is a commodity that needs to meet a certain level of quality to justify it's existence to others, and all i could do was pray that people like it enough to keep paying attention to me. im trying to break out of that, and as such i have nothing to give you other than myself. im not a content creator, i am simply a person who creates.

ive done a lot of reflection on what is important to me this past year, and currently im in a state of flux and change and adjustment in all aspects of my life. ive basically restarted my entire artistic journey and im starting over from scratch in order to make my art something I both love to look at and love making, and neither of those things have been true for many years now. the same goes for how I presented myself and interacted with others during my time on social media, and I understand now what it means when people say "you teach people how to treat you"; it took me a long time to realise that I was unhappy with how people treated me, and that was a direct result of me constantly enabling specific behavior simply because it gave me positive attention (even if it was at my expense most of the time, people-pleasing habits die hard). from now on going forward, i want to give myself the respect i deserve, and be better about establishing healthy boundaries without being the isolated recluse ive become in the past year.

so all that said, hi! you can call me abel or blue :) i work as a remote graphic designer/illustrator for a tea shop in seattle, and live in canada with my husband will and our cat mango cheesecake! im a weird gay stoner with AuDHD and my current obsession and all-encompassing special interest is my multimedia art therapy project called ELFWOOD, and im always working on it in some capacity at any given time. im also a nsfw artist that loves drawing queer porn and doing drugs so suggestive stuff and things relating to weed and psychedelics will be a big thing here. i hope to be brave enough to post art and project updates someday soon, but i want to make sure its something i want for myself and not because i want to rely on external validation. thank u for reading and sticking around if u choose to! if not, thats okay and i hope u have a lovely day anyway :)

[nicosraf]

Hello! I hope this is not an odd thing to say—but my husband and I were talking about how art is not dead and there is so much genuine art in the world if you look away from most big corporations, and I brought you/Angels Before Man up in conversation.

So genuinely, Angels Before Man is one of the most gorgeous art pieces I will see in my lifetime, and I’m 21, so I hopefully have a long road ahead of me. There is just so much creativity and prose and feeling behind it. It is truly a representation of the artist’s mind. It couldn’t be done under some big corporation or done right under one. It is such genuine, heartfelt, religiously made art. We have SO many amazing, talented artists when we look away from some of the more heartless corporate-made things they keep pumping out, and I genuinely think Angels Before Man is at the top of my list and will be for years to come.

I hope this isn’t too much to say—even then, I feel as if I can’t get my point/appreciation across enough. You jumpstarted a writing career that I thought my concepts were too dark to carry. And I can’t thank you enough for bringing my career and such art to life. Keep doing what you’re doing, you’re one of the many talented artists that make life beautiful and worth living. This is what human beings are made for. Thank you.

Hello! This is incredibly sweet of you... Sometimes I fall into the spiral of my work not being "good" art, and then I have to remind myself that there's no such thing as good art anyway. There's formulas and rubrics and mass-appeal checklists but art isn't for a grade and measures of goodness or skill are all fake in the end. Even still, I have a complicated relationship with being so alone when I write. Sometimes I do wish I had a corporation/publisher to hold my hand and make my work "good", but then it would become soulless probably.

I'm really happy ABM has made you feel comfortable writing about dark/messy things. Im so honored its helped you... Don't be afraid! If you think something's gross or too vulnerable, take it another step further. Some people aren't going to like it, but they won't forget it.

Thank u again :)

[handweavers]

i really struggle with consistency more than anything when it comes to my creative output not only due to having chronic illnesses that fluctuate in severity but also because i'm primarily motivated by learning new things and developing new skills so once i know how to do something to a quality that satisfies me i'm ready to move on to something else rather than making that thing i know how to make really well over and over again. i love the idea of having all of these beautiful finished objects but once i know how to make something and i've done it once, unless i need more than 1 for practical reasons (ex. making clothes for myself, replacing and mending things i already have) the thought of making more is boring and i can't get myself to do it. like i could never come up with a product and make it over and over again and keep it in stock in a shop for example, even batch-making something like beaded pins each pin design has to be different enough that it feels like i'm still learning something or i can't do it. i can't make the same thing twice. which is incredibly frustrating because i do reach a point with a lot of crafts where i run out of things to teach myself (*that i am interested in learning, there are always more things to learn) and i drop it, and it's not even that i don't enjoy it or that i was bad at it but that i ... got good at it and that made it boring?????? man im not getting out of here alive

[indireneedofanap]

As a literal half Chinese, half white girl I cannot express to y'all just how upsetting it is to see how this fandom treats the fact that Marinette is mixed. Homegirl is not a "whitewashed asian", shes literally half white.

"She can't even speak the Mandarin!" So? I can't speak Cantonese. My father is an immigrant, but I was born and raised in America similar to how Marinette was born and raised in France. Growing up I wasn't taught how to speak Cantonese because the only language my parents shared (and therefore communicated in) was English. That doesn't change the fact that I'm half.

"She looks too white!" No she doesn't? She might be (debatably) white passing, but many wasian people are, myself included. People seem to like to ignore the fact that when a kid is mixed, they may end up looking more or less like either parent. My father has dark tan skin and my mom is white. My older brother is the same skin tone as my father, possibly darker, while the rest of my siblings are more pale than my mom. Genetics just work like that, and Marinette does come off visually as being a mix of her mom and her dad.

"it's impossible for her eyes to be blue!" Not really. I babysit 3 kids, their mom is white with blue eyes and their dad is black with dark eyes. 2 of the 3 kids ended up with lighter eye colors like their mom.

"We don't see her experience her culture!" And what, exactly, is her culture in your eyes? She's mixed with Chinese, but she grew up in France. They never make a point to hide the fact that Marinette is mixed or that her mom is Chinese. There's little traces that really sell the fact that it's a mixed household all over their apartment: my personal favorite being the Chinese wall scroll art they casually have hanging up in their western style apartment, which is practically identical to my sister's house. There's nothing screaming "IM CHINESE LOOK AT HOW CHINESE I AM!", it's just casually shown throughout the show, which is the case for most mixed kids. Marinette's race isn't treated poorly, it's just treated casually, and I love that. You don't need to prove anything to anyone simply because of your race. People claiming that she's "not Chinese enough" are, in my eyes, hypocritical. I'm half Chinese, I'm half white, so what? I'd never deny it, but it also doesn't change the fact that I grew up in the American Suburbs, just like how Marinette's race doesn't change the fact that she grew up in Paris around predominantly French culture. Treating a character as if they need to look or speak a certain way simply because of their racial identity with disregard for their nationality and experience is ignorant in its own right.

You know who else is Teenage, Half Asian Superhero raised in a western society? Mark Grayson from Invincible (the show, not the comic). His Mom, Debbie, is Korean while his father (who's technically a Viltrumite Alien) appears white. His racial identity (in regards to being half Asian) is also never something that's shown to be of any importance to the story, but is also never swept under the rug. It's just there because that's how mixed families are in reality. The same energy applies to Marinette.

Her representation may not be accurate to everyone, but its accurate to me and many of the other half-Chinese people I've encountered :)

Note: I'm not speaking on Miraculous' depiction of Chinese culture via Sabine or her Uncle, just the depiction of a mixed Chinese/white kid via Marinette .

Also want to add that many people feel her character is "whitewashed" because the original concepts of her as a comic character made her appear more obviously Asian, where her on screen 3D counterpart is less so. Im not sure what happened during the creative process and if the decision to make her mixed was added later on, but the discussion above is simply in regards to those that claim her depiction in the show is inaccurate to actual mixed kids and not in relation to how her character changed during conceptualization.

[yggdrasilhypno]

Today’s been such a fun day for me, simply scrolling through Tumblr and finding myself reading all of these lovely scripts and inductions.

So many creative and interesting ideas, flourishing underneath each and every meticulously chosen word.

Everyone has their favorite kinks and ideas, and you can truly feel their passion within their work.

So that’s what I want to chat to you about, if you don’t mind: passion.

Passion’s incredibly important to me, it’s what draws me to people honestly.

Whenever someone’s passionate about something, you can really feel it all in their behavior.

Their voice changes a bit, showing signs of excitement and knowledge.

Their hands may start to move around, accentuating their speech.

Their eyes seem to light up with fire, pure and utter joy expressing from just their stare.

And you can really feel it too, in the way you find yourself understanding where they’re coming from.

Maybe you think back to something you love and can relate.

The best moments however is when you feel swept up in their passion, as if you’re getting excited just hearing about it.

For me, I constantly find myself getting sucked into their passion, even if it’s not something I’m knowledgeable of.

Though if you’ve ever read my writing, you may understand what my passions are.

I love a lot of things in life, from the silly to the insane and to the simple.

But for now, let’s simply explore my passion and the passion of others in hypnosis.

Because right now, just hearing about people’s passions is enough to get you invested in what im saying, and in turn you just want to listen a little bit more for me.

But I could just simply show you why passion is so beautiful to me.

Hypnosis is something I believe in heavily, not only as a method of entertainment or clarity but as a legitimate therapy and healing outlet.

More so than that however, I believe it to be utterly fascinating.

The idea of being able to influence the way someone thinks, acts, and perceives the world only through focus and relaxation absolutely drives me wild.

That fire within me lights and all I can talk about is hypnosis, I love to listen and to learn about it constantly and as my words swell, it feels like a tornado slowly consuming everything else around it.

Like a drug, it draws out ideas within me that I allow to flow expertly and with precision, always being able to craft something tailor made to break brains.

And yet, as one may feel this passion, they feel swept up in it, as am I whenever I feel passion within someone.

Their eyes may follow along to what words I say, and the torrential flurry of them may be too powerful for constant comprehension.

After a bit of exposure, their minds seem to just nod along to the flow of my passion, as it engulfs them in a similar flame to mine.

You can understand that, can’t you?

Feeling so driven and happy about something that you can’t help but let it all out?

You can feel that fire too.

You can feel my fire.

Like a constant river flowing, my ideas careen downwards towards you as you’re able to understand every word and allow them to ignite you further on.

You may need my words, you may want to listen to them more so you can feel this amazing even longer.

It’s simple passion sweeping you, sweetie.

Follow along and prosper with me.

[lizard-dumbass]

I am STRUGGLING to convey through text what Rite Here Rite Now has done to my mental state. ITS SO GOOD WHAT THE HELL

MASSIVE spoilers under the cut so be warned‼️

Its so funny and the production quality is absolutwly through the ROOF and the character development and story progression amd the THEMES????? i didnt realize it while watching the movie but its actually pretty deep with its themes and messages. This silly concert movie has something genuinely profound to say about life and living in the moment through both the good and the bad and remembering who and what came before you and the impact of music on our lives.

Also i'm so glad that Copia didn't get killed off like many of us probably thought he would (myself included). Not just because i love him and he's my favorite papa, but because of the fact that it reinforces the message of living life through all the bad moments because the good moments are what bring us together and make life so beautiful, even though they only last for a short while.

The fact that Copia keeps on living in spite of the hardships he's faced fills me with so much hope. After everything he's been through; bad relationships with his parents, being shunned from the Emeritus family, pressure from The Clergy, the loss of all of his brothers, all the work he put in to please the ministry and entertain millions of fans across the globe, seeing his own mother die in front of him, he keeps going.

He's now been annointed to a new position: head of The Clergy. He probably never thought he'd come this far, yet here he is. He's all alone. Everyone is gone but him (well except for his twin brother i guess). But despite it all, he's still here. He may have given up the limelight but he still continues to serve a purpose through his new position as Frater Imperator. He's finally learned to live life in the moment, right here, right now.

But good lord let this man take a break he's been through enough lmao. I didn't expect that last segment to get so long but it literally just hit me how fantastic the plot of this movie is as im writing this. RHRN is like 90% concert movie and 10% story and the story is undoubtably my favorite part of the movie. But i really love the concert stuff too. Like i said, the production quality is INSANE i am going to listen to the soundtrack so obsessively when it comes out! And seeing the crowd having such a good time was really heartwarming too. There's genuinely so much to talk about with RHRN and its a fucking concert movie. Tobias once again proving that he is a creative genius.

Uhh anyway sorry this was so rambly and poorly structured but i really just need to get my thoughts out there because seeing this movie finally come into existince has been such a surreal and wonderful experience and i love this band even more now. My ghost brainrot is severe and i will be making it everyone's problem

[bewitchedsouls]

I know you mean good but fat girls can also break easily. I also don’t mean to sound rude or offend you but it’s rare for fat girls to be 6 foot, I know you might be fat and 6 foot but it’s pretty rare. I think most people stick to petite girls in cod stories because it would be scary and horrifying if they gave reader their sweater and all the sudden reader fits or barely fits in it and it only works as a crop top on them. And please try to remember just because their fat doesn’t mean they aren’t clean fat girls bathe too and do their eyebrows too they aren’t slobs. Fat girls can break when they get laid and yes I believe they also will jiggle around in the process so please try to be mindful when bringing up cod guys with a fat girl

i’m extremely confused but this might just be me not having enough sleep, what are you questioning here? i try (i’m pretty sure i haven’t either) to not mention body types, sizes, descriptions etc, i want everyone to feel like they can read a fanfic i have written because they can imagine themselves as the person, i know in one i said simon could practically engulf the reader but that is because i see simon as this big military man who’s built like a brick wall so that just how i tackle it in writing, as a person who has always struggled with my weight it’s nice to be able to read about a love interest who (not matter your size) can pick you up or put you on his lap, i don’t like writing for body types because it can discourage others and make them feel as if they aren’t good enough or have something wrong with their body when infact i think all body types and sizes are beautiful and think that no matter your size you should feel included in a fanfiction because as it says in the name, it’s fiction, something where you can imagine yourself in that position, if someone struggles to do so i understand that it wouldn’t feel good to be excluded especially when i have been victim to writing that is catered towards a specific body or feature, now if someone wanted a plus sized reader fanfic i would be more than happy to write that, my requests are open as stated and i would do everything to make sure it is up to their standards and their body description if i am given one.

I am also confused at your point of saying ‘just because they’re fat doesn’t mean they aren’t clean’ ???? this is extremely baffling and you mentioned eyebrows, once again ??? i’m seriously hoping this was meant for another post because you may not want to offend but what you have written to me i find extremely disrespectful and rude, just because you say don’t mean to offend/no offence doesn’t mean anything you don’t have the right to talk to people who go out of their way to write fanfiction for people to read when they’re bored, lonely, seeking comfort (as i have myself many times) i have a full time job that i don’t get home form till 10pm (hence the lack posts) you do not get to slander people who don’t have to write fanfiction but choose to in order to make others happy. My last point to add on is that you said ‘yes I believe they will jiggle around in the process’ this is going to sound rude but whatever, are you even a plus size person yourself? as you sound unsure as to what happens when someone is plus size and has sex? i think it’s extremely rude that you think you can make those kind of comments and come on my page and try to tell me what my body is and what i can and cannot write about.

IF YOU FEEL MY WORK IS NOT FOR YOU EITHER POLITELY PRIVATELY MESSAGE ME AND TELL ME SO I CAN EITHER FIX IT TO BE MORE INCLUSIVE OR CAN WRITE YOU YOUR OWN COMPLETELY NEW FIC!!! OTHERWISE GET OF MY PAGE AND DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME OR MY WORK!!! I DO NOT NEED TO PUT UP WITH HATE AND NEGATIVITY WHEN ALL IM TRYING TO DO IS BE CREATIVE AND MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY!!!!

[quanticq]

Hey Q! Sorry for bothering you, but for some reason I can no longer find any of your tik tok accounts 😭 Did they get deleted or something?

Hi this is Q! I’m coming out of the woodwork to address this, since I did went radio silent out of the blue so it’s not a bother at all

The short answer is Yes, I deleted my tiktok

Yes delete not deactivate, I’m not coming back to That app or IG or Twt, I deleted my socials except here and YouTube, I honestly felt so overwhelmed with everything, I realized I’m not even posting for myself anymore there. A lots of people crossed my boundaries time and time again I felt so helpless, bitter with myself. I guess I was just overwhelmed with the attention I got; both positive and negatives ones.

Im done and I want to start over so that’s why I’m here and on YouTube, I already posted some of these on my community tab on YT but here’s what I have in mind for the future of the content I want to create: more detail under the cut, and also;

CW: very brief mention of spiraling, harm inflict oneself or others, paranoia, etc

•Long-form content: my attention span is a bit messed up from consuming and making short-form content to the point where I can’t focus in university. I want to create something meaningful. It’s not that my previous content was not meaningful, no. I had fun and no time is wasted when I have fun, it was warm… but as I mentioned earlier, I just felt this lingering bitterness the longer I stayed making those short-form content. It really felt like I was on the verge of losing it. Especially with how the bigger following I have the less people think of me as a person than just another content creator you see on the internet,

I want to create long-form content, I’m so tired of forcing myself to generate 15 second content. On tiktok it just feels like I’m just creating and not really connecting. I want to try something new, maybe create an open space for meaningful discussion in the comments. I don’t think I can stand another copy-paste tiktok comment anymore. You know what I meant if you’re frequent on that app.

•Art Content with Commentary: and don’t worry this won’t be those petty artist drama issue, but I will still cover anything serious

it could be love letters or video essays ranging from fan fictions, fandom culture, the art scene and so much more. I may even share a bit of my personal life, this will be self indulgent after all! I want to make it fun for myself and as well to those who comes across my channel. I really REALLY want to create a genuine following.

On tiktok it’s so easy to gain following but not so easy to retain them, it’s mostly because of the algorithm and the FYP feature there.

On Tiktok most content that would get featured as an artist there would be creative work has to be either; more than exceptional which is pressuring enough already to consistent posters, straight up suggestive content shown to minors (tiktok doesn’t really have a blocked keywords feature but it’s so disheartening to see these creators intentionally not using the sensitive warning since it could limit their reach significantly) oh yes we can’t forget the negativity surrounding beginner artists or “art lore”

All of this cesspool of negativity, it’s a whole can of worms but it will be one of my prominent topics that I wish to discuss in my future art commentaries. I hope you guys are looking forward to those! I might bring in a few people or so to talk about it with me

and finally;

•Streaming: I used to do a lot of streams during the weekends on the clock app and it was super fun! I want to bring that back but that would have to wait since I’m unfamiliar with some features on YouTube, and I’m aware that YT does not have a discoverable feature for stream but that’s alright, I want to start something small first.

In short; I’ll figure it out! just need some baby steps before I start streaming again.

.

I apologize for deleting everything out of the blue, if I’m gonna be honest it was partially planned because I’ve been thinking about deleting my tiktok, twitter and Instagram for a while now but how it happened? In my breakdown I realized that I don’t want anyone to see me spiral, especially now that I realized how young my audience are, I’m not sure how that happened but I guess posting fandom contents does attract the young ones somehow inevitably, even though my content is nowhere near as suggestive, but I do talk about serious topics from time to time… but I digress, its not fair for them to deal with me if they see me spiral publicly,

it is especially not fair to them to console me. When I was younger than 14, I’ve been in a position where I have to talk down someone who was older, maybe 4-5 years older than me, from harming themselves or anyone, it was traumatizing and unpleasant. I don’t wish for anyone to go through that, it’s very painful.

It’s been… hard for me to ground myself. Ive been seeing things through a kaleidoscope of emotions; I was trying to focus on everything but it’s just too overwhelming so eventually I cracked. But please don’t worry I’ve been doing better now, after some time away from my online persona, and of course spending time with my beloved girlfriend, I see things much more clearly now.

Thank you to anyone who read this and much so appreciate those who understand where I’m coming from

Also now that I think of it can my stuff be considered as lost media now? Amazing! But please don’t be sad the fun I had was genuine!

Thank you again to those who genuinely enjoyed my content on tiktok but it’s time for me to try my hand at something new, I will still be dwelling in my creative headspace just.. away from public for now,

if you’re looking forward for my future post, make sure to check out my YouTube! I still have a lot I need to cook hehe, this is one of the few!

More post soon, Bye bye! -Q

[theminecraftbee]

ok so idk if you’ve answered this before but anyways,, i really love the way you write horror!

i read stuffed bird for the first time over a year ago now but i still think about the world you created on a regular basis. i rarely read au fics and it’s even more rare for me to remember them for an extended period but seriously, no joke, this is about a stuffed bird might genuinely be one of my favorite fanfictions of all time.

anyways, shameless fanboying aside, i actually wanted to ask if you had any good tips with writing horror? im a huge fan of the genre and have always wanted to create something myself but i have no clue where to even start. i feel like every idea i have is either weirdly cheesy or just unauthentic. so yeah, do you maybe have some pointers on how to get over that first threshold of not being “good enough”? or maybe just sharing what goes into your creative process when you write your stuff?

anyways i’m sorry for rambling, you’re really cool and i hope you have a good day. happy halloween!

oh goodness, thank you! i'm so glad you liked stuffed bird, and read it despite not normally liking aus! that's a big compliment!

as for the "how to write horror" tips. okay so first: it's gonna feel a little cheesy. the thing is that when you're writing it, it's gonna be less scary to you. you're going to go "well this is just silly/inauthentic/absurd" and you're going to feel like "well surely this can't scare people" and you've gotta push past that. you've gotta push past that to "well what about someone who DOESN'T know i'm trying really hard, what will they think of it?" and that can help you out a lot.

my second tip is... you've gotta know when to show the monster and not show the monster. like okay you're going to hear that things you don't show the audience can be scarier than those you do. and that's TRUE, but sometimes also you do really want to show the audience the thing. it's all about "what will cause the correct kind of impact in this moment". so, uh, example, most of the stuffed bird monsters i only describe a few aspects of, not the whole monster, and that's because the audience can fill in a scarier description than what i can come up with. however, i still describe what i personally think are the scariest/most impactful parts of the monster! because in order for it to do the thing i wanted i still NEEDED some of the gorey/horror description, i just couldn't try to perfectly describe every inch. this goes especially for horror that relies on physical description/gore actually; if you know when to show the gore, you can make it have impact. if there are certain things you describe in detail and certain things you don't, it will tell you stuff about your characters, AND it will make both of those things have more impact for the audience! so i guess that's one of my big horror tips.

my other big horror tip is that a lot of horror is emotional. doing things that reflect your character's mental state can really help sell whatever you're trying to make scary! this can both work in the "if your character is scared" sense and in the "if your character is NOT scared" sense--for example, if you are describing something scary is happening, but your character has a very happy/lighthearted emotional tone, that's one kind of scary, but if you're describing something scary and your characters are terrified, that's another! and it's useful to know when to use which.

okay and the last tip: don't worry about being "not good enough" just write what you write and post it! you will never get better without practice. the main way my horror ends up working is that i keep writing it, i think; if i never wrote horror, i'd never get used to writing horror, and it would never get scary. plus, you will be your own worst critic. get yourself some friends to help cheer you on, and then just go for it!

this is a lot of paragraphs ;-; but i HOPE IT HELPS!