#im not getting involved in that but i will be appropriately using the correct tags and ship name

[sunnimint]

thinking..... of a leosagi 2003 fic set in Usagi's world with time travel shenanigans that Leo cannot control.

Cue everyone thinking that Leo is some form of a Kami. Which creates MORE shenanigans.

And Leo goes along with it because it's easier to explain than "No you don't understand. An accident happened in my world, I am literally showing up in random periods of time and I have no choice but to wait it out. Why does that child look like Usagi? Wait- I can give him this random turtle pin Mikey gave me as a joke just to make sure I'm still in the same timeline!"

Usagi, years down the road, "And this is the blessing the Kami Leo gave me when I was a child and have kept it with me since."

[divinaes-bookofsecrets]

Add something if you'd like?

Whats your thoughts on this upgrade or is it 🤔

Please share your personal experience too, to show off 😏 jk

🌟 Comment comment comment REBLOG!!! PLEASE please 🙏 im curio

Techno Witch

Filed under: Pagan Life, Spells & Potions — Leave a comment

I work with technology a lot, including virtual reality, and it made me wonder what or how it could pose as some good use for magick and witchcraft.

At the start of being Pagan, many things I did were very offline. I read physical books, went to physical locations such as the library and metaphysical shop, wrote in my physical B.O.S., things like that. If anything, I preferred it that way, things were very much in reach and given the history of magick is very much more so on paper than in bytes, it made better sense to me.

But eventually, technology got better and easier. More and more resources were online, and reliable resources at that. Granted, there is still a lot of bunk and dribble on the internet. Why people like to pick up spells from random corners of the internet is beyond me. If they are easy to get and plain out there for the world to see and, even worse, come with a price tag, it is probably fake. Some witches do indeed do paid spellwork/pay for pray but not to the excessive number that exists on the internet. More on that later, but basically, tech made witchy info collecting easier. It has probably been a while since I have penned in my B.O.S. but, if anything, I have more of a Disk of Shadows (D.O.S.) now. I have particular tumblrs and tags that I follow or curate on my own that are informative and helpful to my works and endeavors. They’re sometimes really hard to find, and sometimes they are not (if you know what to look for). There are more digital groups for Black Pagans and other minorities/poc now than when I started over a decade ago. Due to the internet, there is better access to much better information about non-European cultures that is not filtered through the perspective of a random White academic slathering on a layer of their own personal bias to the details and calling it “correct, accurate and objective information”. People can do their own research and not be blocked by institutions or paywalls.

But there’s still a lot of bunk on the internet. Due to the pop culture sensation of “witchiness” (basically think of anything American Horror Story, The Craft and the Sabrina reboot has pumped out, add some culture-vulturing via “I am a bruerja” and you got it), it makes decent info still rather hard to find. Since books and old texts that may or may not be translated well or correctly are not that popular, it is easier to find people who, frankly, don’t really know much of what they are doing, they just really like sage, cultural appropriation, gothic clothing and perhaps nursing a drug habit. They’re all over Instagram with their filter-laden pictures, offering to cast spells and do divination (usually tarot, because, what else are they going to learn? Cartomancy? Numerology? I Ching? Elective Astrology? Not as popular) but don’t seem to really know much about ethics and the other boring stuff of learning actual, proper witchcraft. It’s easy to blame just about everything on Mercury retrogrades but if that person has never heard of an ephemera before, they probably are also dead wrong about anything retrograde as well. Spells are cool and mysterious (not really), reading and research is … well, how many pop culture witch characters have you seen buzzing around countless books going “I thiiiiiiiiink this is definitely super old school Congolese – liiiiike, way, way, before colonialization. And of course, it’s a half-page passage in an out-of-print book and features a next-to-dead language. So we should either pick a different spell, or start bothering really old people who may or may not remember such a language – assuming the invading White folks did not torch or steal their cultural history – oh wait, it’s sitting in the British museum, with an incorrect placard and everything. Great, now may we have to talk to stuck up, myopic, well-dressed thieves that think they’re not stuck up, narcissistically stupid, or sticky fingered because ‘I have a degree and institutional prejudice is on my side’. You know what? Killmonger had some good ideas. Someone grab some coffee, that is probably the easier option”? Outside of Hermione Granger, not really anyone in witchy pop culture is very “research is good, research is great, research keeps random entities you summoned and can’t get rid of out of your home and life.” So it can make good info hard to break through the ether. Nothing is wrong with liking pop culture depictions of magic – I get a kick out of Doom Patrol’s magnificent depiction of chaos magick – but it is a bit of a problem when people try to base their practice on movie magic. Yes, psionics is real, yes, magic is real but no, it doesn’t look exactly like the tv and movies. If anything, they can be a lot more stressful and annoying.

I think being a technology-based witch, for me, is simply involving technology in your practice. I have thought of the idea of making a virtual space for spellwork and personal practice but then I think about my track record with magick, energy movement and electrical items. VR systems are pricy and I have made electrical items go ka-put. And, again, VR systems are pricy. But others could benefit, especially those who may not have the space or safety to comfortably practice in the real world. You can make whatever you want in the virtual world and it can be your own spot. A digital altar, a digital casting circle, the list goes on and on.

At first, I wasn’t too sure of these things because, well, they are new. No one was using computers for such practices – or any practices – centuries ago. But all technology, no matter how rudimentary, was considered new at one point. All creations were considered new at one point. From the typewriter, to the wheel, to fire itself. Certainly the deities can be understanding of some of these changes. As long as the changes are relatively seamless, especially for some deities. For example, some sun gods probably would not be too keen on the use of cell phone flashlights vs. actual natural light sources, like a flame made from the sun’s rays. I imagine working with water deities would be stress-inducing unless you are very confident in the IP rating of your technology and trickster deities + internet is probably literal trouble if you do not know what you are doing.

Has all my practices gone digital? I don’t think so but I do think a vast majority of it has. It has been the easier option for me but I always bear in mind that it is good to at least have back ups and that not everything worthwhile is on a computer. There is still always going to be a need for physical things. Links die, computers break and sometime technology can over-complicate simple processes. That and not everything is on the internet, not everything has been digitized and some things are simply harder to find digitally because the metadata is not up to snuff or it is plain incorrect. Thus it is good to find a decent balance, even if that balance is majority tech with analog supports.

Source:

Source:

[nsheetee]

Yin&Yang

Pairing: Mark Lee x Reader Genre: Bulleted AU, Superhero AU || Action, Romance, Angst, Mystery Length: 6.3k Details: mentions of Johnny, Doyoung, and Sicheng, major character death, happy ending Summary: In a world where certain people obtain superpowers, you are granted the dark and destructive powers of Yin while Mark is granted the bright and positive powers of Yang. Forced to work together, Mark uses his powers of creation to fight evil and you use your powers of destruction to maintain the balance of the world. The superhero gig isn’t full-time, though; you live as a University student, and when Mark becomes your chemistry lab partner, unbeknownst to either of you of your secret identities, a love blooms that seems to be stronger than any disguise you can hide yourselves under. Will Yin&Yang be able to conquer Imitatrice, a new villian who seems to be able to imitate superpowers? Or will it cost Yin&Yang their relationship? Or worse, their lives? 

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Yin and Yang are forces that are complementary (rather than opposing) to each other 

just like how there can never be day without night or cold without heat

in your city, there can never be yin without yang

any average citizen of your city could tell you that yin&yang are anything but trouble

yin&yang are the city’s heroes

the black and white matching uniforms with complementing masks that cover over half of their faces could be recognized by anyone

children were taught to recognize their figures and how to shout for their help- just in case

people would stop what they were doing and gawk as yin&yang zoom down the streets, cheering them on as they ran to save the city once again

ever since superheroes appeared decades ago, the entire city started to rely on the comforting notion that a superhero will save the day

whether it be from a good-for-nothing criminal that’s involved in petty crimes, or another superpowered human that decided to use their fate-given gift for malicious purposes

these “supervillains” 

(a term appropriately coined by the citizens of the city)

are the reason many wealthier people are opposed to superpowers, and have tried to place a ban on the city from allowing superpowers to be used

this law never passed, the people of the city were too adamant on the idea that superpowers did more good than bad

fate granted you the destructive powers of yin

living life as yin was.,.,. mentally scarring, to say the least

to have the ability to destroy anything you touch from existence was.... a bit difficult to get used to

and finding out that your superpower matched with this other random kid’s superpower (better known as yang)

and finding out that the two of you balance out and help keep the world from falling apart

it was just a little too much for hormone-filled teenagers

despite that, you and yang have worked together for several years to stop criminal acts

yang has the power to create anything he wants

weapons, tools, literally anything you could think of

with one exception

you had to destroy something of the same caliber in return, to keep the balance of matter in the world 

this led to years of fighting crime together

and years of being pushed into the shadow of yang’s accomplishments

at first, you didn’t mind that people only saw you as someone who destroyed things

you were glad that yang was confident enough to handle the press because at that point in time, you weren’t

yang was always at your side

he was always reminding you that he couldn’t do his part without you

to you and him, you were a team- it didn’t matter what other people thought

▼△▼△▼△▼△

on a bright and fresh morning in the downtown area of your city, a shapeshifter wreaks havoc, disturbing several people’s day and destroying businesses and property

you and yang run towards downtown, the wind whipping past your faces and the cheers of people with their cameras pointed at you encouraging you to go faster

you both stop in front of the shapeshifter- you couldn’t really tell what it shifted into

some sort of hybrid between a lion and something with wings with big horns on its head

both of your minds go into a fritz at the sight in front of you- you’ve never had a fight with something that looked this non-human

“you got a plan for this one, yang?” you quietly asked your partner beside you- slowly backing up as the creature catches sight of you

“of course I do, smiles” even during times of stress, yang still throws out his endearing pet name for you with a smile

you relax, knowing that yang is confident makes you feel confident, too

“I just need some time” yang finishes

almost like an answer to a prayer, lissome comes from the opposite direction

his flexible and stretchy limbs propelling him further down the street- his green suit stretching with him and reflecting in the morning sun

behind him is foreshadow, a tall and lanky man with hair as black as the night and a suit as blue as the deep sea

although you and yang were the only superheroes that work together, lissome and foreshadow are known to help you out when a particularly stubborn supervillain appeared

“lissome! foreshadow! I know how we can catch the shapeshifter, I need a diversion!” yang yelled out

with one shared look, foreshadow and lissome took action

foreshadow used his ability of calculating the shapeshifters next movements and pointed that lissome should go the opposite direction

lissome’s malleable limbs seemed to catch the shapeshifter off guard and the constant movement from foreshadow seemed to confuse the supervillain, it was barely able to keep its eyes straight with all the movement from your two helpers

while all this was happening, yang quickly pulls your attention and points towards the multiple clothing lines hanging between two apartment buildings not too far away

knowingly, you sprint towards the buildings and begin to climb up the fire escape

“yin, hurry” you hear a cry from below you

you hang off of the fire escape with your right hand holding onto the railing for dear life, your left hand reaches out to the clothing line

you quickly envision the clothing line out of existence as your fingertips start to turn black with your power generating through you

and with one simple touch, the entire clothing line disappears, almost as if it wasn’t there to begin with, and reappears in yang’s hands in the form of a net

without much thought, yang, lissome, and foreshadow throw the heavy netting over the shapeshifter, stopping it from moving around

the supervillain lets out groans as it tries to shift into something that will break through the net

but it seems that fatigue takes over, and the shapeshifter returns to its normal human form

soon, the police task force used to detain superpowered humans show up and relieve the odd group of superheroes from the supervillain

and from all the ruckus of law enforcement, antidote shows up

his tall figure looms over the street, and as he walks everything behind him slowly moves into its correct place

the scratches left on cars that are parked on the side of the street are gone, the cracks in the concrete from the fighting are sealed, and even the heavy netting used to capture the shapeshifter is now once again turned into the clothing lines that hang between the two apartment buildings

antidote was the only one to ever be able to reverse what you and yang do

when you first met him at the beginning of your crime fighting career, he was a scary, tall guy whose powers seem to be stronger than yours

but slowly, you and yang realized that antidote was just a fellow superhero who would look out for you with all his might

antidote greets the four of you as a crowd forms, several cameramen and anchors ready to pounce on you to ask questions on your latest capture

more like ask yang about his most recent capture

his white mask does nothing to hide the smile on his face as he talks to the press animatedly about the events that went down

“one day, im gonna be busy and won’t be able to come and clean up after you kids and you’ll regret it” you almost don’t hear antidote’s groaning from beside you as you watch yang 

his cool and calm demeanor calms down the citizens who are listening and you quietly admire his way with words- you’re quickly reminded why he is the city’s favorite superhero

“you say that every time we all show up together, but you always arrive on time...?” foreshadow grills from the other side of you and before a cat fight can break out, yang makes his way over to you

“great job today, guys! I know you all say you work alone, but I think we make a great te-” 

“no thanks, one of us already has to deal with you taking all the credit for their work, I don’t want that weight on me, too”

an awkward air settles over the group and it seems like the comment put you in the center of attention, even though no one was looking at you

“yeah... I'd love to stay and continue this thrilling conversation, but I have places to be. until next time.” you end the conversation coldly

the four of them watch as you run through the crowd that parts like the red sea for you, fear propelling them away 

away from your superpower

you’ve never used your power on a person before

you promised yourself you never would- that killing is not the answer to anything that you come across in this line of work

but no one wanted to find out what would happen if you did

▼△▼△▼△▼△

after quickly changing into your regular clothes, you make your way to your first class of the school year

although you love being a superhero, it wouldn’t pay the bills in the future

so you were a college student outside of your superhero persona

(yes, it was difficult to juggling both of these parts of your life)

(yes, you were stressed)

(yes, you were going to continue being yin- there were too many people that count on you and yang to save the city to just drop the superhero side of your life)

you made your way into your chemistry lab, greeting the professor and the professor’s assistant

the assistant’s name tag read “doyoung” and he showed you the seating assignment 

once you sat down, the door to the lab opened once again

mark stumbled in, his backpack half open and hanging off one of his shoulders as he balanced his water bottle, phone, and several papers in his hands

before mark knew what was happening, he was falling over his own two feet with his phone flying up in the air and his papers falling to the floor

in one swift and fluid movement, doyoung grabbed mark’s arm to stabilize him, placing his foot down on the papers so they wouldn’t move away

when mark looked up at his savior, doyoung held mark’s flying phone in his other hand

mark’s gaze shifted to the other student’s in the class, but somehow no one was aware of the scene that just took place

they were all talking amongst each other and some even had their heads down on their table

“next time, tie your shoes. this is a chemistry lab, clumsiness can be fatal.” doyoung preached and sent a dumbfounded mark to his seat

as he arrived, his things practically fell from his hands and onto the table, getting your attention

when you look up at the ruckus next to you, your breathe leaves you

it feels like you can’t move

like whatever comprehensible thoughts you had before were suddenly erased as you looked at the person next to you

“hi, I'm mark. I’m your lab partner.”

he’s preoccupied with his things but he still smiles, pushing up his round glasses with his fingers and you swear you can’t look away from a sight like this

“im y/n”

mark finally looks at you

and everything suddenly feels right

like the feeling of completing a 1,000 piece puzzle

or the feeling of ending a 1,000 page novel 

complete, relieved, and content

you both look at each other for a few more seconds as if the whole world doesn’t matter

“alright everyone, settle down...” the professor interrupts and you and mark snap out of the trance

he takes off his jacket and you gulp down some water from your water bottle because the room just feels a bit too hot for the two of you right now

your mind, that was blank from all thoughts before, was now running a million miles per hour and you try to shake off the weird feeling in your chest

you discreetly glance over at mark

he’s nothing like your type at all

the clumsiness he showed as he came to his seat and the nervous laughs he let out as the professor talked was not something you were usually attracted to

you felt weird to admit it, but you were most attracted to someone like yang, who was cool and confident and almost unbothered

mark tried to listen to the professor as they talked, but his eyes kept wondering over to you

he couldn’t shake off how much you looked like yin

the same hair color and the same shaped eyes, even your lips looked the same

but as soon as the thought came into his mind, he shook it off

yin was a bit... stone cold

the yin he knew wasn’t one to be super warm and fuzzy- they were calculated and decisive 

and you sat next to him with sweater paws and an aura of softness around you that made you look so so so inviting

more inviting than yin could probably ever be

(despite that, mark still admired yin... very strongly admired)

so you both sat through your professor’s talking, silently wishing that the other would say something

hoping that you could catch each other’s gazes just once more

▼△▼△▼△▼△

with all of this going on, neither of you notice beatrice, who sits behind both of you

lets talk about beatrice for a bit:

she belongs to a wealthy family, they fund several activities at the university and are well known in the city

(they are well known for hating superpowers as well...)

despite this, beatrice is not that popular on campus

she mostly keeps to herself, and just sticks to her small group of friends (if you can even call them that)

but she has a secret:

she has a superpower

and it’s a dangerous one

she has the ability to know when someone possesses a superpower, and even worse, she has the ability to copy it

this type of superpower is not common, usually superpowers stick to just expanding normal human traits

because of this, beatrice sees herself as someone special, that fate has given her this gift for a reason

when she told her family of her amazing gift, thinking they would accept her and maybe even change their minds about superpowers

she was shocked when they told her to keep it to herself, to not let anyone find out

she was even more shocked when her parents continued to parade around the city with nastiness dripping from their mouths about superpowers

now, sitting behind you and mark, she immediately understands

she understands her purpose

she understands that you are yin and mark is yang

and judging by the way you are acting around each other, you don’t even know it yourselves

she chuckles quietly to herself

“what a bunch of fools”

after peering her head around to make sure no one was paying attention to her

she leans forward in her chair, across the table, and quietly plucks a strand of mark’s hair off of his jacket that hangs on the back of his chair

she quietly forms a plan in her mind as the professor drones on and on

▼△▼△▼△▼△

the next few months are pretty hectic not only for you and mark, but yin and yang as well

you and mark both realize you aren’t that good at chemistry (I mean, who is?)

so you decide to spend some time outside of class to catch up and help each other with your studies

(this was totally because you are lab partners, not because of how you felt towards each other hahahah.,.,. no- not at all)

the library was extra crowded at the beginning of the school year and you and mark found yourselves sitting on the floor during some study sessions because there were not enough tables

when doyoung, your professor’s assistant, ran into both of you studying on the library floor, he helps both of you pick up your things and takes you to a library cafe a few streets away

there were way less people here and many more seats- also, coffee was discounted for students

this is where you met johnny- the owner of the place, and sicheng- a fellow student at your university who works part time at this store

the first time you met them, sicheng was at the cash register of the cafe part of the store, all smiles and low giggles as you, mark, and doyoung gave him your orders

“what is your major, sicheng? I haven’t seen you around?” you ask and lean forward to hear him better

“dance... which is probably why you’ve never seen me before” you both lightly laugh at the small talk, until you feel mark by your side

he gently pushes you away and gives his order to sicheng

mark didn’t really like how your attention was all on sicheng

how you just met him, but you could start up conversation so easily 

when you could barely talk to mark without stuttering after several weeks of knowing each other

“what the hell is wrong with me?” mark thinks as he pays

you were just talking to the cashier, that was it, he shouldn’t be feeling like this- for his lab partner, no less

thankfully, you didn’t say anything about his small gesture

as johnny started making your drinks, he walked away from the expresso machine for just a moment

an abrupt clatter caught everyones attention

sicheng was holding the coffee cup to his chest and a bunch of straws were spilled all over the floor and the counter

he gives a shy smile “sorry everyone, the cup was about to fall off the machine. I caught it, though!” and everyone turned back to what they were doing as johnny chastised sicheng about wasting product

(you, mark, johnny, and doyoung found it slightly weird how sicheng was able to catch the cup so fast even though the machine was over five feet away from the cash register)

▼△▼△▼△▼△

you and mark LOVE the library cafe, it was cozy and kinda small

but you could actually sit in chairs to study, and you kept coming several times a week

especially when doyoung was there, he would sit down with you and help you with the concepts you couldn’t understand

one particular day, johnny was moving through the tables and replacing the daily newspaper with the one that has today’s date

as he set it on the table you were working on, your eyes stared at the picture on the front cover and you slowly dropped your pencil to pick up the thick collection of articles

taking up half of the front cover was a picture of yang- it was from a few days ago when you and yang defeated an armed bulgur at the city’s bank

but only yang was in the picture as he handed off the criminal to the police, yin’s figure was in the back- a blur as you moved around

the cameras didn’t even bother to catch your presence 

a feeling of anger started to fill the bottom of your stomach

yin was there, too

yin helped capture the bugler, too

you were used to not being on the cover of any newspapers or articles, but for some reason your existence as yin being boiled down to this one blur in a photo made you angry

why weren’t you given any proper credit? 

“y/n... are you okay?” mark asked from where he sat next to you

he noticed your tense figure and something propelled him to lift his arm over you and lay it on the back of your chair as he leaned in closer, all his attention on you

his fingertips grazed over your arm, and for some reason you weren’t taken aback by his sudden closeness

you relished in the attention he was giving you and it made you relax

yang deserved the recognition, the amount of people he has saved is immeasurable, and your power... just scared people away

you could deal with it

you have been for this long

“yeah, I'm okay.” you pushed the newspaper onto the table and a plate that was sitting on the edge was pushed off and shattered on the ground, catching johnny’s attention

“oh god, I'm sorry, johnny-”

“no, it’s okay, don’t move. I got it.”

mark eyed the newspaper on the table in front of you

seeing himself as yang would always be weird to him

he picked up the papers with his other hand and looked at the photo a while longer, sighing at the blurry, dark color of yin in the background

mark was glad that people saw him as a hero, but he wished people saw yin as a hero as well

yin puts just as much effort into fighting crime as yang

yin&yang are a team

the city wouldn’t be the same if there was just yang and he wished more people could recognize this

“are you sure you’re okay? you looked... not like yourself just now?” mark is brought down to earth from his thoughts when johnny repeats the question 

“yes, johnny. thank you. I'm just... a little stressed with all this work, you know?”

johnny seemed to accept your answer “you guys don’t work yourselves too hard, okay?”

you, mark, and doyoung all nodded and johnny bent down to retrieve the plate, picking it up and setting it back on the table and walking away to continue his business

all three of you looked at the plate

it was whole

not in pieces like it was moments ago

and almost as if everyone at the table could read each others minds

you all left it alone

returning to your books and notes, quietly noting the small incident, but not daring to speak of it to each other

▼△▼△▼△▼△

as for your feelings towards mark, they kept coming

you thought that maybe after spending some time together, they would gradually go away

maybe you would find somethings that you hated about him- he must have some sort of faults... right...?

but no, it seemed like someone, somewhere, wanted both of you to keep these feelings for each other

you even tried to find things you don’t like about him

like the fact that he’s super clumsy

(how could you hate the small blush that covered his cheeks when he asked you to help him carry his things, or when you catch the sleeve of his jacket and pull him away from stepping into a puddle or running into a door?)

or the fact that he laughs at everything... I mean EVERYthing, even if it’s not funny

(how could you deny the fact that his giggle sounds so much like yang’s???)

as for mark- he lets himself fall

he falls completely into his feelings for you, at first by accident, but after getting to know you more- he is relieved that he allowed himself the pleasure of loving you

you were different from what he thought he wanted, but he accepted it wholeheartedly

your soft smiles, your hard-working mind set, whatever it was- he fell for it all

unfortunately, these feelings translated to yin&yang as well

the feelings were there because you and mark were yin&yang- but neither of you knew that

which just added to the confusion and made both of you wonder:

who was underneath the mask of your crime fighting partner?

▼△▼△▼△▼△

on one particular night, after catching yet another criminal and handing them over to the police, you and yang made yourselves scarce from the scene 

yang noticed your hunched posture and walked faster to catch up to you

he grabbed onto your elbow and moved both of you into an alleyway a few feet away

“yang, what is it?” you weren’t really in the mood- crime fighting always made you tired

“what’s going on with you? is it the paparazzi again? I know they don’t give you the credit you deserve but you can’t let them get to you like that-”

“no, yang, it’s not that. it’s... you”

yang tilted his head

“me? what did I do?”

you sighed and rubbed your hand over your mask

“you’ve been very.... restricting lately”

“what do you mean?”

“you haven’t been letting me destroy things like you used to. like when we stopped that one armed burglar, you didn’t let me destroy his gun-”

“it was a GUN, you could’ve been SHOT”

“when has that ever stopped me before?” you ask and yang shuts his mouth

“don’t you trust me?” you ask again “because I trust you”

the alleyway becomes stuffy with your choice of words

“I can’t help it, smiles.” he weakly says, using your pet name, knowing that it’ll make you soft for him

you roll your eyes at his tactics but your heart beats a little faster anyways

“I don’t know, I just... I don’t want you to get hurt. what we do is dangerous and if something happened to you- if you got hurt and I couldn’t protect you... or even worse, if you got hurt because of me... I don’t know what I would do with myself”

the confession slips off of yang’s tongue so smoothly that the words pluck your heart strings, a beautiful melody resounding in your chest and you began to feel light

yang sighs, if there was any chance to tell you his thoughts- it was now

“I think I could let you do your part if... we show each other who we are.” yang says and the airy feeling spreading through you abruptly disappears 

“yang... you know that’s dangerous. we can’t-”

“we can, smiles. we can pulls off our masks right now and that can be the end. wouldn’t you feel better knowing who I am?”

you thought about his question, would you feel better if you knew who yang was? it was a tempting offer, and something that you’ve recently thought about...

but you’ve gone this long without knowing who he is.. does it even matter anymore?

yang senses your doubt and steps forward, pushing you against the cold, brick wall behind you

but you don’t feel trapped or pushed, his presence doesn’t frighten you

he looks into your eyes, swearing he’s seen them somewhere else before, and those lips... how close they were getting to his

he’s so close you can see the sweat still sticking to his forehead and the individual strands of his hair hugging his skin, his fair skin glowing even though the alleyway was dimly lit

you can’t see all of him, but you know that underneath the mask he must be beautiful

“there can’t be yang without yin- that’s the whole point of our powers. In our world, there can never be a me without a you. Why are we hiding from each other?” yang whispers, bodies only inches apart now

your mind is infused with him- his proximity and scent and aura so overwhelming you feel like you’ll be complete if you could just lean in all the way

yang’s hand slowly creeps up to his mask, his fingers finding their way under the edge and he takes a deep breathe before-

“yin&yang!! help!! we need you!!!”

the shout pulls yang away from you, and you share one more look before leaving the alleyway and running towards the shouts

but the tension and questions that have risen don’t leave either of you

▼△▼△▼△▼△

the rise of imitatrice came very suddenly, and with almost no warning to you or anyone else 

all you got was a notification on your phone from the local news station

a picture of a woman standing on top of the city hall building, wearing a dark purple uniform with long blonde hair whipping around in the wind

you didn’t think twice about changing into your suit and running towards the center of the city, where city hall is located

when you arrive, the whole front yard of city hall is blocked off and several people stand around along with the police and tv crews, filming the mysterious woman who is now by the fountain that is situated in front of the building

suddenly, on the command of an officer, a line of policemen all shoot a round of bullets right at the woman, making some members of the audience release screams in shock

she reacts quickly, her hands coming up in front of her, and several shields appear out of thin air, blocking the bullets from hitting her 

gasps leaves the audience as the shields fall like dominos to the floor, breaking the concrete underneath

“oh, yin? you’ve arrived, came to join, huh? do you like the show I've been putting on?” the woman yells with a taunting lilt to her voice and the audience turns around at the mention of you

they part for you as you walk towards the woman, a familiar scene when it comes to yin walking through a crowd of people

your mind is reeling- the only other person able to conjure up something like that out of thin air is... yang

you look around- he’s no where to be seen

“where is yang? what did you do with him?”

“oh, I didn’t do anything, dear.” she steps forwards, raising her voice to make sure everyone hears her

“I am imitatrice, and my superpower is to imitate other superpowers. I have been silenced all my life, but no longer.”

“do you have to talk like that? you don’t look that much older than me, why are you so demeaning-” you try to play off her vague threat

but you’re cut off by an uncomfortable feeling in your gut starting to form, it cramps up and makes you feel sick- imitatrice notices your discomfort

“oh, what is the matter, my little yin? do you feel sick? maybe a bit... unbalanced?” she hints and your eyes widen in realization

if imitatrice really is copying yang’s power... then the world is slowly becoming unbalanced from her previous actions

despite the pain in your abdomen, you quickly run over to some parked cars, your left hand gliding over them as you run by, hoping that destroying them could balance out the matter in the world

when the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach goes away, you make your way back to imitatrice who has been watching you the entire time

as if everything is going the way she planned- she looks pleased

“imitatrice, please. you don’t have to do this.” you now try to reason, but the words don’t go through to her

“save your words, listen to me instead.” she counters, “I have yang’s power now, and you have yours.. why don’t we team up?”

her proposition makes the audience gasp and chatter fills the area before imitatrice starts to speak again

“why did you ever think that your powers of destruction could make you a superhero? you were made to DESTROY, for god sakes.” she chuckles and it makes your skin crawl

“If we work together... we could get equal credit, your name could be on all of the tabloids and media there is- not yang’s... yours” no doubt some people in the audience quietly think to themselves that you could do it- you could become a supervillain

“everything you touch dies- it rots away. do you ever think that yang could love you for that?” she asks

confusion runs through your thoughts “why would she bring up yang like that” but it quickly disappears

because a scary thought replaces it

“what if I did join her?”

you would definitely be on tabloids and a talked about person, fate’s gift to you would be used for what it was probably given to you for: destruction

but at what cost?

the cost of death, grief, and misery in a whole city?

....not on your watch

“if I have to use my power for evil, I'd rather not use my power at all”

your words anger imitatrice and she lets out a growl

“fine. have it your way” she turns around but she doesn’t get far before a voice catches her attention

“imitatrice, there’s room for only one power of creation in this city, and it’s mine”

you whip your head around at the sound of mark’s voice, only to see yang standing by the audience

he sounded so much like mark- but that was not something you had time to think about

lissome reaches over the crowd and the blockade, straight to imitatrice

foreshadow yells towards you and yang about going inside to help the last group of people out

and city hall slowly turns into a hot mess

the fountain in front of the city spills water onto the concrete and the grass has been turned over and ripped from the ground

several objects that imitatrice and yang both conjure up are laying all over the concrete- everything from rope to guns to materials like wood and metal

despite the dangerous action going on, citizens stand around and watch, phones up and recording every last second of the fight

soon yang, lissome, and foreshadow are trapped behind the shields that she imitatrice first made and have been thrown into the ground

you crouch down next to them- you’ve been running around touching anything you can destroy to keep up with yang’s and imitatrice’s tricks

you’re out of breath, but you still focus on what the group is saying

“nothing is working” lissome growls as he rests, at some point his uniform tore at the arm and you can see his skin covered in dirt underneath from all the fighting

“she’s not letting up, how do I defeat her if she’s just using my power against me?” yang asked, frustration seeping through his words

you look at the members of this odd group of superheroes- everyone looked so worn out from the fighting

tired eyes and confused thoughts prominent in all of them

“maybe yin can destroy something that’s the opposite of you, wouldn’t that give you more power?” foreshadow asks

“no that’s not possible” yang shakes his head “the only thing that’s the opposite of yang is-”

“me” you simply state, and all three superheroes turn to look at you

“the only thing that is the opposite of yang.... is yin” you sigh, and the tone of your voice makes yang panic

you sound like you’ve made up your mind on something

“no, don’t even think about it. absolutely not.” yang’s voice rose in volume as he talked

“I know you can defeat her. I mean it when I say I trust you, yang”

you honestly can’t even believe yourself, you were about to do something you promised yourself you’d never do

and you were willing to do it all for yang, for your city

“smiles....” yang says weakly, reaching out to you, but lissome holds him back

and before anyone can change your mind or stop you

your left hand, finger tips black from dirt and from your superpower, comes up and presses into your chest

and like you never existed, your presence was completely erased

gone

just like all of the things you’ve ever destroyed

yang couldn’t believe his eyes, lissome and foreshadow breath heavily as they stare at the space you once occupied

the audience that was watching you gasps and covers their children’s eyes and look away themselves

it was the most sudden death anyone could imagine

yang wasn’t about to let it be in vain

“c’mon. let’s finish this”

for once in his crime fighting career, yang lets anger take over

he doesn’t know if it was the surge of energy he was gifted by you or the fact that you just erased yourself from existence 

but he could barely think about what he was doing, letting his gut take control of his powers

at one point, gray clouds cover the city, and rain starts falling, thunder rumbling and the ground was shaking from the new weather- but yang never stopped

in the future when asked about this fight, he would say he was blinded by the fear of you leaving him, by the sight of you killing yourself for him

he didn’t calm down until imitatrice’s hands were stuck behind her back in handcuffs with dome covers over them to keep her from creating anything else

yang falls to his knees, from exhaustion and from the numbness building in his chest and quickly spreading like a disease

the reality of what happened finally coming to him

as he looks up at the citizens of his city, he does not feel proud to be the hero

he does not feel joy to have saved everyone- because it was really you who saved the city today

“are you happy?” he asks the audience, voice cracking under the tears that threaten to flow down his face, and everyone settles down after hearing his helpless tone, only the pounding of rain on the concrete could be heard

“yin... killed themselves, for me, for us, for all of you.” yang points in the direction of the crowd

“we never deserved yin, no matter how you saw them, they were too good for us.” a blanket of guilt settles over the crowd, but no comfort comes to anyone as yang continues

“none of us really appreciated yin, and now we mourn them. how selfish can we be?” and with that, yang rises to his feet and a commotion is heard from behind him

antidote slowly walks through city hall’s front yard, slowly everything goes back to order

the fountain is repaired, the concrete is made new again, and the rain ceased

almost like the fight that just occurred here never happened

but no one would forget the events that took place

everyone looks towards the area that you had ended your life in, anticipation weighting down everyones chest

but nothing ever happened, you don’t reappear

antidote walks up to yang and places a steady hand on his shoulder

“what happened? shouldn’t they have come back” yang asked, despair dripping off of every word

“I don’t know, yang. I've never brought back anyone who was destroyed by yin’s power. only time can tell now.”

and like that, the crowd started to disperse and yang was left on city halls  front yard with a heavy heart filled with guilt

▼△▼△▼△▼△

johnny messaged the group chat containing you, mark, doyoung, and sicheng later that day

“come to the store, after all that happened at city hall today... drinks are on me”

johnny’s phone notified him that the text was only seen by three people 

▼△▼△▼△▼△

in johnny’s store that night, doyoung and sicheng crowd around johnny’s phone as they watch footage from what happened earlier that day

the mayor issued an investigation into the events of what happened at city hall and a message to yin to show themselves if they are still alive

the message has not yet been answered, and several people and businesses keep their window blinds open in hopes of seeing the black uniform running down their street

although it was once again sunny outside, the weather did not reflect the city’s feelings

as the bell above the door jingled, all heads turn to look at the new customer

mark walks in and stumbles up to the counter

“glad everyone’s here, and that you’re all okay” johnny sighs and mark clears his throat

“where’s... where’s y/n?”

silent looks are shared between the men

they all turn their heads to face the floor, knowing what your absence means

as no one talks and no one moves, grief fills the store, and slowly it turns into sadness

until the bell chimes again

“hey, guys. am I late? I just saw your message, johnny. I came as quick as I could”

your warm laughter never sounded so hopeful and has never been so appreciated until now

mark thinks he could cry when he sees your smile as you walk through the front door

suddenly everyones shoulders seem to fall in relief at your presence

“alright, I said drinks on me tonight, but shouldn’t we go out for dinner? I think we have a lot to celebrate tonight.”

couldn’t agree with you any more, Johnny

you decide that the city should be kept on their toes for a little longer- the return of yin would come eventually

tonight was the time to spend with your friends after so much happened earlier that day

you lock fingers with mark, a sheepish smile rising to both of your faces and you hope your friends don’t turn around to catch the affection you’re showing each other

walking down the street in the city that you and your friends unknowingly (but silently knowingly) saved together

the tune of your friends’ laughter and the promise that everything is okay again comforts you- mark's loving gaze a reminder of all the good things to come

both of you are only slightly aware that fate has brought you together 

whether it’s as yin&yang

or as you and mark

neither of you really care how you stay by each others side

as long as you can keep staying together

▼△▼△▼△▼△▼△▼△▼△▼△▼△▼△▼△▼△▼

[pestopascal]

how do you go about commissioning someone? i want to but i hear a lot of bad stuff every so often and ive seen you mention certain artists being behind on contact so im not sure what to expect

quite frankly commissioning someone is absolutely terrifying and needs to have a high level of communication from both the person you are commissioning as well as yourself. the one major artist i have said something about and to, turns out, have had a long history of disappearing for months at a time or not being good and running off with money. found out that after i finally got something from one of them, but the other who i’ve been waiting since january on a response from... im emailing every second week and @ ing on twitter constantly by this point considering it was an upfront payment. and like i said about the first one... if commissions are your primary source of income... there is a level of expectation. i know from social media the second one has been involved in a lot of public work and whatnot, which i do support, but all i need is one email to be like “hey sorry im busy with other work”. some people don’t tell you that. or you find out through their tumblr their laptop is broken. it can be very frustrating. or they run donation and commission sale posts in between not doing your commission. so...

and as for you the person commissioning i think people vastly underestimate what you need to provide vs what ppl actually do provide. if you have some specific pose in mind provide photo refs/explain it. you dont need to do a characters backstory, 3 pages, no line breaks. summarise. clear cut on colours and clothing. and if you leave it up to interpretation then you’re gonna end up with something you may have to be like hey sorry lets correct this, which wastes time and effort and money on everyone’s behalf. like spend time going through god like pinterest or whatever to actually source what it is you are looking for. you’d be amazed that people rly to appreciate it, and also esp when artists run limited spots, the ones that are actually providing references and so on are the ones that do get picked because it makes it easier to then provide a higher quality product. its not about remembering urls and favouritism that some people like to claim, its so that they can spend more time on something for you.

that said, commissioning someone and seeing something you have in mind come to life is brilliant. personally i do have a preference for commissioning friends, because well 1) communication (sophia is so good for it), 2) its so funny dropping into the dms like kicking down their door and throwing money at them to draw something for you (something i do to hoiist and daisy regularly) and 3) idk love and support friends!!! (always all of them) also with friends too i do ask people if theyre trying something out like animations, new painting style, etc. if they wanna test on my comm i dont mind because in some instances it also helps them like work out if they wanna use it as an offer on a comm yknow?

when it comes to artists (or writers in some instances) that you dont personally know, if i cant exactly find the information on their tumblr (which happens quite rarely but does happen) i just ask. what do they need. what do they want. also turnaround time. there are people out there with art/writing styles that you do adore, or something specific theyve done in the past you want to almost have recreated for yourself. talk to them! ask if they’re okay redoing like idk a deconstructed helmet or a watercolour tarot card or a 3k word third pov fic revolving around reconnecting 5yrs later (plummmmm).  but like too ask about payments, if you can potentially do half and half (a lot of artists are honestly open to this but you just have to ask), what are their routines like with providing sketches and changes (most tend to have information available on their tumblr but... still), etc etc. and dont be surprised if you ask for some heavy tattooing and jewellery and flowers that the price goes up? ive seen people be genuinely shocked like youre asking for heavy detail... hello.... but communication is key and its also on you to ask and tell the things you want and need.

as for writing commissions, personally, kind of almost in the same boat? if theres a particular scene, a visual reference helps to be like a guiding key to get to that point, but also specific words, like talking about hands, the colour purple. personally too with writing comms i have done, i do sometimes go and search for like oc tags for more visual stuff and then translate it to text. some of my favourite pieces have been exchanges more than commissions, with crashed-down through the dragon age pieces we’ve done, and utilising the tags there. also like i ask if you want the pov to follow someone specific, do you want first, second or third, any particular time of day, etc etc etc. like this does affect tone and flow. also with mine i offer snippets as i move through to see if the phrasing is right, am i doing something appropriate to the character/s, as with art you have the. pose and emotion in one position as such yknow? with writing its a movement and kind of links through it all. if like one sentence is off, the tone could be wrong, and changes everything.

also, if something is out of your price range, i have seen an upswing in people asking that just let someone know. inquire, work it out, but if its too much just politely turn it down. yes, emails get lost and tumblr is notorious for not flagging messages so there can be unintentional ghosting but yeah i think thats a good habit to get into.

tldr; dont be afraid to commission people, seriously, its very rewarding for everyone around. be polite, ask questions, keep on top of the communication. dont be an asshole, be clear about what youre after, be kind, enjoy

[fuckyeahasexual]

A complete guide to how the asexual community is NOT lying about the pathologization of asexuality and how many aces(even young ones)have had their asexuality tried to be“fixed” and “converted back to normalcy”

Trigger warning : Conversion therapy,abuse

As if the so called ace “”discourse””( which has till now involved aphobes and exclusionists comparing ace people to nazis,pedophiles,white supremacists,slave owners,homophobes,  ,talking over ace WOC by white people, telling ace people AND kids to kill themselves,victim blamig and gaslighting ace victims of rape, putting extremely graphic sexual content into asexual tags and sending sexual content to ace minors and adults who are are suffering from sexual trauma even after they told them to STOP ) could not get any worse, we now have these pathetic excuses of human beings accusing ace people of lying about their trauma and abuse just so that they can justify their harassing of ace people.

Im TIRED of seeing these “”highly intellectual people”” keeps repeating bullshit arguments so im gonna make this post addled with appropriate resources and links to handle these two topics:

How asexuality is pathologized

Can the abuse and trauma ace people go through when people try to “convert ace people back to normalcy” and “fix” their asexuality really be called “conversion therapy”?

This is gonna be long,but i hope you will stick with me though this because im going to try as much as possible to make this as source-fuilled and educational for yall. So here we go:

1. Has asexuality really been pathologized?

Short answer,Yes.  Many mental health professionals had consideredasexuality an illness throughout history.There are many articles talking about it.Up till 2013, indicators of asexuality like lack of sexual attraction,sexual fantasies towards other people, lack of interest in sex etc were basically classified as Hypoactive sexual desire disorder in the DSM which was revised just to include that all those indicators WOULD be considered as a “symptom” of HSDD unless a person self identified as “asexual” which wasnt much useful since not everyone(especially young people) might know that they are ace and can be pressured by their peers into going through the “treatment” for HSDD .They did the same thing before they removed homosexuality from the DSM.

Heres the long answer :

Throughout history , asexuality has brought out bigots to talk about how “unnatural” it is and how it obviously is a “mental illness/disorder” bc experiencing sexual attraction is always considered an inherent experience to almost all living beings.There are many medical and psychological articles either directly referring to asexuality as a disorder or referring its main indicators like “lack of sexual attraction,sexual feelings towards other people”etc as a mental disorder.

But the most well known instance of pathologization of asexuality is the  HSDD (Hypoactive sexual desire disorder).It has been in both The International Classification of Diseases and  Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders both which are used by mental health professionals and psychologists to diagnose people.

There was a huge pushback against HSDD by asexual activists bc it categorized all indicators of asexuality like lack of sexual attraction,sexual fantasies towards other people and lack of sexual desire etc as a disorder.As a result,  asexuality was officially given an exception in the DSM-V by stating that if a person experiencing all the symptoms of HSDD self ID’d as asexual then they wont be diagnosed with it.This seemed a good enough thing to do and acephobes keep bringing it up to show how “different HSDD is from asexuality” and how “The medical world has “”accommodated”” itself for the comfort of ace people” but this act and the whole concept of a “Hypoactive sexual desire disorder” are considered problematic and have been put through questions not only by ace people, but feminists and activists too . Heres why :

1. The person STILL has to identify as asexual to be not diagnosed.Asexuality still isnt as visible and well known of an orientation so  if a person doesn’t know that they’re asexual, the DSM does no work to sufficiently differentiate between these “sexual disorders” and a sexual identity. so it could very well happen that someone who doesn’t know that they’re asexual is convinced by a therapist that they have a sexual abnormality that needs to be corrected(x)  .Taking into consideration the fact that a lack of sexual attraction is still seen as a sign of “brokenness” etc , the aphobia ace people face from their peers,how sex is seen an inherent part of one’s relationship and the immense number of ace people who experience internalized aphobia, theres a higher chance of ace people being pressurized into lying about not being ace and being made to go through treatment of HSDD .

2. The asexuality exception is not included in the diagnostic criteria, but a different part of the text. The desk reference version, which is the smaller version most psychiatrists will use because the actual DSM is a monster of a book, only contains the diagnostic criteria. So, unless a doctor is very familiar with the update DSM, you could still be diagnosed despite identifying as asexual. (X)

3.The DSM is put out by the APA, an American organization and is not used internationally in ALL countries.The international appx. equivalent to the DSM is the ICD (International Classification of Diseases) where an exception of asexuality is NOT made like they did in DSM-V. So many countries where DSM-V is not followed are free to diagnose ace people with almost no repercussions.

4.There is till NO distinction made between HSDD and asexuality and all indicators of asexuality are still considered “symptoms” of HSDD. the DSM does no work to sufficiently differentiate between these “sexual disorders” and a sexual identity. so it could very well happen that someone who doesn’t know that they’re asexual is convinced by a therapist that they have a sexual abnormality that needs to be corrected(x) Just putting “All these signs are of HSDD unless a person identifies as asexual” is literally the same as saying “Being attracted to the same gender and/or being attracted to more than two genders is a disorder unless a person identifies as gay/bi”.In fact a very very similar thing was done to homosexuality in the DSM before homosexuality was deleted off entirely as a disorder.

5.Im not even gonna get into the fact that alot of people have pointed out how  the big push to keep HSDD in the DSM came from the pharmaceutical companies who need this diagnosis to exist so thatthey can market a drug called Flibanserin and both of these thingshave been called out by both ace as well as non ace feminists bc studies showed it improved very little in terms of sexual satisfaction in its participants and has potentially big risks(x) and  MANY women disinterested in sex(weather ace or not) were pressurized to undergo treatment of HSDD and use flibanserin bc of the misogynist belief that women need to put out more than care about their safety white taking it bc thats not the point of this post.

But just for yalls consideration : Just bc there is a disorder in the DSM doesnt mean that its legit.Female hysteria,homosexuality were considered disorders.As an amazing post here said : “until psychology stops operating in terms of “inappropriate behavior” and starts looking at patients’ experiences of symptoms as stressful and unpleasant, it will be an enforcement of ableism first and an aid to the mentally ill last.”  . Unless someone goes through some trauma which make them LOSE their capability to feel sexual attraction and desire,i’ll consider any “disorder” which automatically assumes lack of sexual attraction and desire “unnatural”, as doubtful .

So  yeah , asexuality still technically remains pathologized and ace people still are at a risk of being diagnosed and being forced/pressurized to undergo treatments which arent usually even that effective and have health risks associated with them.On to the next topic :

2.Can ace people call the trauma and abuse they went through  when people tried to “convert ace people back to normalcy” and “fix” their asexuality  “conversion therapy”?

First off, Read THIS And THIS. Now,

Short answer,Yes. Maybe they might not be under the threat of going through the EXACT conversion therapy which involves basically torture and is legal in like 36/41 states IN AMERICA but then again, so arent those gay people who didnt/dont/wont be living/going to those 36/41 states IN AMERICA but have/are/will be  tried to be “converted back to” straightness by their peers.Any way in which non straight people are forced/pressurized to be converted into straight by so called “professionals” and “medical experts” counts as conversion therapy to me bc at the end of the day it doesnt really matter WHAT word you define it as when those trying to “fix” non straight people’s non straightness view those non straight people as someone who needs “fixing”.

Also, saying that ace people’s experience when their peers were trying to “fix” their asexuality isnt AS bad as what gay people go through when their gayness is tried to be “fixed” is…not a good thing to say.Trauma isnt a competition.Telling a person with a sprained leg that another person has a  fractured leg doesnt make the first person’s sprained leg hurt any less

Heres the long answer :

Here is the thing.The most “well known”  conversion therapy(and in aphobes’ case,the conversion therapy they keep bringing up to discourage ace people from calling their trauma involving attempts to fix them “conversion therapy” ) is the one which is legal in 36 or 41(The data keeps differing from diff sources) states in AMERICA ONLY and basically involves showing homoerotic images and videos to gay/bi people and inflicting some sort of violence/harm on them when them and/or their mind and/or their body shows any sort of interest on such images till they form an aversion to same gender attraction and other forms of torture.I described it as PG rated as possible but if anyone is interested and is NOT at the risk of being triggered they can read the whole process here(x).

Aphobes keep arguing that since no clinic advertises that they will “convert ace people back to normalcy” ,and even IF some ace person IS forced to undergo treatment of HSDD ,their experience doesnt matches the EXACT amount of abuse and trauma gay people go through during conversion therapy, aces arent “allowed” to call their experiences “conversion therapy”.Now , anyone with common sense and general morality will realize how bullshit this is bc aphobes are just putting their american centric rhetorics over ALL aces in THIS WORLD(bc they are ALWAYS considering the american conversion therapy)but i’ll still just prove how WRONG this argument is :

1.This argument is only AMERICA CENTRIC.Aphobes keep saying that since ace people dont go through the exact conversion therapy which is legal in 36/41 states in america,they cant call it “conversion therapy”.Now america is only one country.There are 193 countries in this world.The “valid”Conversion therapy is only there in america.But HOMOPHOBIA is there in ALL countries of this world.Now, If we consider aphobes’ argument as legit, then it would imply that any gay person who suffered through the trauma and abuse of having their identity turned into “straight” by their peers in any country OTHER THAN AMERICA CANNOT call their experiences “Conversion therapy”.That means all the gay people who faced torture in russia (especially in Chechnya)to be “fixed” cannot call their experiences “conversion therapy”.Gay people in Brazil and Jamaica who are tried to be “fixed” cannot call their experiences conversion therapy.I live in south asia,we dont even HAVE any special places dedicated to “convert” gay people.But there are many instances where gay people are hauled to the nearest “religious medical practitioners” who abuse and torture them for WEEKS to “cure” them.I guess those gay people cant even call their experiences “conversion therapy”.THIS IS HOW RIDICULOUS APHOBES SOUND.

2.Not every ace conversion therapy is caused by going through the treatment of HSDD : There are many ace people who have been told that it was their asexuality ITSELF that was a disorder and went through abusive therapies to “cure” it which led to some people ending up self-isolating until they ended up in a psych hospital and some people felt broken and alone after that(x).Many health professionals simply pass off asexuality as some  symptomatic of deeper mental health problem and thus not every ace who might have been tried to be “converted back to normalcy” might have been gone through quite a rough treatment too.

3.Telling people that their trauma isnt “”really that bad”” isnt a good thing.Telling them that their trauma  dosent really “”qualify”” enough to be considered “”real”” conversion therapy isnt good.Oppression and traumas arent a competition.The abuse and torture gay people go through during conversion therapy isnt gonna make the trauma ace people go through “better” or less severe.Telling women that “at least they arent being human trafficked and beaten by their husbands everyday like in middle east” isnt gonna make them feel better when they are catcalled or sexually harassed at work.If ace people are tried to be “”fixed”” by being forced/pressurized undergo “” treatments”” by so called “professionals” and “medical experts” , it counts as conversion therapy to me bc at the end of the day, ace people’s orientation is still being seen as “something to be fixed into straightness”.

So yeah, ace people CAN call all the abuse they go through to be “fixed” of their asexuality “conversion therapy”.Now that we are done, here are a few examples of ace people talking about their fears and/or experiences about conversion therapy which i havent provided already

If you really want to respect lgbtqa people who have gone through conversion therapy,try to make this world a better place for lgbtqa people so that their identity isnt seen as something to be fixed.Telling group of people you are bigoted against that they cant call their experiences of tried to be fixed “conversion therapy” isnt gonna do SHIT to help the community you think you are trying to protect.Saying that No ace person has EVER went to conversion therapy bc there are “valid proofs” is disgusting.

Asexuality IS a highly marginalized orientation and all your refutes against it WILL be debunked and shot down bc we have sources and real people’s accounts on our sides which is supported by many prominent lgbtqa organizations across the world.All aphobes have is bigotry and a bunch of followers who eat up whatever they say without applying any critical thinking skills to it.

[missmentelle]

Hi! Im seeing a guy, and while its early, things are going pretty great. But ive been feeling /very/ paranoid about being hurt again. I dont want it to hold me back, but i also dont know when an appropriate time is to start letting my guard down. Ive seen one possible red flag, and im keeping an eye on it. I know if that shows up again i gotta be out, but are there any “white flags” that are a good signal? Are there any benchmarks besides “the first sleepover/meeting friends” etc? Thanks you!

Congratulations on the new relationship! It can be really difficult to learn to trust someone and let someone in after you’ve been hurt in the past. Communication is going to be key here - you are under no obligation to get over your past traumas right away, and any healthy partner should be respectful of that and be patient with you as the two of you work through your traumas and establish trust together. Honestly, letting your guard down is going to be something that happens very gradually over time. You’re probably not going to notice when it happens; if things go well, you’ll likely wake up one day and realize that you have trusted him for quite a while, and you’re not quite sure when it happened. There is no checklist that will make you automatically trust someone when enough boxes have been checked. “Trust” is less about individual traits, and more about seeing someone be consistent with those traits day after day after day. 

With that said, there are a couple of things that you can look for in the beginning of the relationship that are generally a good sign:

They don’t lie to you. Lying is a problem at any stage in a relationship, and anyone who is willing to lie at the beginning of the relationship is likely to keep lying throughout it. A person who lies in the beginning of a relationship “because they wanted you to like them” or “because they weren’t sure how you’d react to the truth” is going to keep lying to you. A person who is honest with you - even about things that might be hard for you to hear - is a good sign. 

They trust you, and don’t try to control you. It can be hard to trust another person in the beginning of a relationship, but it’s incredibly important that you both do it anyway. A relationship based on a foundation of distrust, suspicion and control is not a relationship that’s going anywhere good. A person who trusts you when you tell them where you’re going and doesn’t get suspicious of your platonic friends or try to control who you speak to is a person who might be worth hanging onto.

You feel comfortable having physical intimacy with them. This doesn’t necessarily mean sex - your relationship doesn’t have to involve sex unless and until you both want it to. But you should be comfortable physically touching your partner - hugs, kisses, caresses, holding hands, pats on the shoulder, whatever the two of you are comfortable with. If you’re recoiling every time the other person touches you in any way, that’s a sign that you might not be ready for a relationship yet, or that something is seriously wrong. 

They take an active interest in getting to know you as a person. A relationship that is primarily based on the other person telling you how hot you are over and over again is probably not going far. In a healthy relationship, you should not feel like a living sex doll or a decoration - your partner should take an active interest in getting to know you as a person, ask questions to learn more about you, and remember things that you tell them. 

They fit into your life. Over time, the two of you should find that you naturally start getting more integrated into each other’s lives - you meet each other’s friends and family, you participate in their hobbies and vice versa, you find new activities that the two of you enjoy doing together. If this isn’t happening, it’s a sign that something isn’t clicking, or that one person isn’t that invested. 

They have control over their emotions - most importantly, their anger. A person who flies off the handle over little things is going to get worse over time, not better. A person who consistently shows you that they can stay calm and collected in stressful situations is much more likely to be a stable, healthy partner who can keep their cool when you hit a rough patch. 

They seem genuinely interested in being with you. You shouldn’t feel like you’re the only one chasing your partner down or putting all the effort into keeping the relationship going. Your partner should be putting roughly as much effort as you are into initiating and sustaining conversation, making plans, and generally keeping the relationship going. 

You feel safe with them. This is a big one. You should feel safe from physical, mental and psychological abuse at all times. And you should never feel like your safety is negotiable, either - you should always feel like you will be safe in the relationship, even if you screw up or make a mistake. 

The relationship is moving at a reasonable pace. You should feel like the relationship is moving at a pace that makes sense; a person who wants to rush you to move in with them and get married two months after meeting is probably too interested, and a person who wants to wait three years before they tell their family about you or invite you over is probably not interested enough. If your friends aren’t raising any eyebrows over how fast things are going, you’re probably doing okay. 

You are both on the same page about what you want from the relationship. If one person is thinking “marriage and kids in the next four years” and the other person is thinking “fool around for a couple of weeks without getting too serious”, the relationship is headed for some serious trouble. If you’re both on the same page about what your relationship is and what you want from it, you have much greater chances of actually getting what you want. 

You are still maintaining your relationships with other people. A relationship that still leaves room for your friends and family in your life is a much healthier relationship than one that doesn’t. Your partner should not be preventing you from seeing your friends and family - either intentionally, or by monopolizing all of your time - and you should still be finding time to see your friends without your partner tagging along.

You are comfortable not being perfect in front of the other person. People aren’t perfect, and life is messy. If you’re planning to be in a relationship with someone for the long haul, they are eventually going to encounter all of your human flaws - bad hair days, pimples, farts, vomit, body odour, and whatever other horrors the human body can conjure. It’s natural for you both to want to look and act your absolute best at the beginning of the relationship, but eventually you should reach a point where you’re comfortable letting your partner see you in a pair of sweatpants without being afraid that they’ll leave you. 

At the same time, though, it’s important to understand that none of these “white flags” are a guarantee that the relationship is going to go well, or that you definitely won’t get hurt again. There’s no way to know that for sure. Relationships are always a risk, and part of loving someone is saying “hey, the fact that this might not work scares the shit out of me, but you are worth it anyway”. People have started becoming more and more aware of possible red flags in relationships, because it makes us feel like we’re in control - we would all love to live in a world where you can fill out a questionnaire or a checklist and know for sure if your partner is going to hurt you or turn abusive. Unfortunately, though, the world doesn’t work like that. A partner who starts out charming and thoughtful can turn neglectful or bitter. A partner who has a bit of a rocky start to the relationship can become the love of your life. Definitely bail out if there are warning signs of abuse, but remember that there is no certainty in this world, and at some point we all just have to take a deep breath and take that risk. 

As far as benchmarks and milestones go, I think it’s best not to spend too much time worrying about it. Every relationship is different, and worrying about whether you’re doing the correct things in the correct order is just added stress you don’t need. “Meeting the parents” is a milestone in some relationships, but some couples know each other’s parents before they even start dating, and some will never meet their partner’s parents for a variety of possible reasons. It doesn’t mean that their relationships are “off track”. Take this relationship one day at a time. Thinking about the future is great, but being consumed by the future will damage the relationship and wear you out. If you’re happy and things seem to be going pretty well, let yourself enjoy it. Have fun with your new guy. Laugh with him. Hold him. Take some time to appreciate how great it is that you have this relationship with this person in the here and now. If things go south in the future, you will cross that bridge when you get to it - but for now, just focus on being happy in the moment. 

Best of luck to you!

[our-smooty]

Take Me to Church - Chapter 22: Expectations

Fandom: Gorillaz

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: 2doc

Tags: Car Accidents Angst Hurt/Comfort Drugs/Alcohol Implied/Referenced Suicide SuicideHealing Everything Hurts

Summary: The band is back together, but things are… weird to say the least. But when a crisis arises, can they pull it all together and be a family again?

Link to other Chapters on my Blog!

1 Week Later - The First Session - Murdoc

“So uh, yeah. Guess that’s about it.”

The therapist in front of him was still writing. She’d been diligently taking notes through his entire abridged personal history, jotting down each and every high and low point. So far therapy was nothing like he thought it would be.

“OK… so you said you’ve had mental health treatment before?” she asked after a moment. Murdoc nodded.

“The other times were all in prison though, if that makes any difference, luv,” he answered. She looked up at him and smiled. He resisted the urge to look away.

“I assure you, Murdoc, that you’ll find my methods to be significantly different from those in most correctional facilities,” she told him. He tried not to look too relieved. “I’d like to begin by asking you what you want to get out of therapy.”

He paused. What did she want him to say? “I assume you heard all that from 2D already.”

“But I’d like to hear what you want Murdoc, not what Stuart wants,” she shot back with a grin. Murdoc laughed dryly. Where had 2D found this one, then?

“What I want is a bottle of--” His therapist shot him a withering look, and he sobered up. “Fine. I uh, I jus’ want to be… Less of a prick?”

He watched her write down “less of a prick” with a sort of cognitive dissonance. “Anything else?”

“I’ve got--” his voice was shaky and quick like if he didn’t hurry and spit the words out he’d never do it. “I’ve got stuff, in my head. I-I’d like to get a handle on that.”

“What kind of stuff, Murdoc?” she asked, still writing. Fucking hell this therapy thing was going to be harder than he thought, wasn’t it?

“Sometimes I do things, and I don’t really know why. O-or I’ll be feelin’ a certain way for no reason.”

“And you’d like to understand that?” she finished for him. Murdoc nodded again, not making eye contact. His nails found purchase in the soft material of the armchair while his knees bounced. The room felt warm and his skin felt too tight. “Alright. Those are both great goals, and they’ll help me tailor your treatment appropriately.”

He grunted in response. The room was quiet again before she put down her pen and faced him directly. “I want you to know, Murdoc, that it’s very brave of you to seek therapy for your problems.”

He scoffed. “Only took a few decades.”

“What matters is you’re here now, and we can begin to work on things together.” She handed him a booklet from her desk. “I want you to take this, and read it over before our next meeting.”

The booklet was thin, with a cover full of smiling people. The title read, “PTSD: Signs and Treatment.” Murdoc swallowed hard.

“I also want to go over a few grounding techniques with you today, before our session ends. Does that sound alright?” He was still staring down at the booklet, hands trembling slightly. With great difficulty, he nodded and sat up straighter. He could this, he had to.

Thirty minutes and a great deal of deep breathing later, Murdoc was walking out of the office. He paid the lady at the desk and set up another appointment for a week later at his therapist's suggestion. Every movement he made felt far away and floaty. Kind of like being drunk without the warm sense of security.

His daze was broken when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. Suddenly he realized he was outside the doctor's office building, smoking a cigarette he had no memory of lighting. Checking the text, he was unsurprised to see it was 2D.

im in the car outside

text me when ur done

I got coffee

Murdoc knew 2D was nervous about the first session. He’d already seen their therapist last week, but this was the first time Murdoc had gone. After a few sessions alone, they’d agreed to have one together, the cycle repeating indefinitely. Or until they didn’t need to see the therapist anymore, though Murdoc wasn’t hopeful that’d be any time soon.

Honestly, the bassist had wanted to drive himself to the appointment. It’d give him time to himself to process the session figure out how he felt about everything they talked about. But Stuart had insisted on driving Murdoc there and picking him up like a chauffeur. He was probably afraid Murdoc would flake out and just not show up.

I’m done.

He sent the text to 2D and took a seat on the curb. Lighting another fag and taking a deep, calming drag, Murdoc tried to center himself. He hadn’t had to go over all (or most, at least) of the nitty-gritty details of his life in a long time, maybe ever. It set him on edge, knowing the things he told an almost complete stranger, willingly.

By the time he finished his smoke, 2D was pulling into the parking lot. It didn’t take very long and Murdoc had the sneaking suspicion that the singer hadn’t even gone all the way home. He didn’t feel like making a scene though. To be honest, he was mostly just tired. When Stu stopped in front of him he quickly got in, sinking down in the seat with a sigh.

“Alright?” Stu asked, pulling out of the parking lot. “Your coffee’s in front.”

Murdoc grabbed his drink with a thankful nod. “Thanks.”

The car was quiet for a moment before 2D spoke again. “So, how did it go?”

“Fine.” Murdoc really, really didn’t feel up to talking about his session now. Not even the coffee could hold off the exhaustion that was slowly settling over him.

Again, there was a pause. 2D’s fingers tapped against the steering wheel in nervous patterns. Murdoc tried to ignore it.

“Are you sure?” Satan, the singer wasn’t going to give up, was he? Murdoc sighed, realizing he wasn’t being fair to the younger man. 2D was a worrier, it was one of the things that made him so charming.

“It was fine, D. I’m just… tired now,” he answered. Stu visibly relaxed and shot Murdoc an understanding smile. It didn’t make Murdoc feel sick, so he took that as a sign the therapy was working.

“I get it, Muds. Why don’t you take a nap and I’ll wake you up when we get home?” The relief he felt was definitely a little embarrassing, but he was too worn out to care. Instead and turned on his side towards the window and shut his eyes. In the background, he could hear the soft sounds of the radio show 2D had on, and the rumbling of the tired against the tarmac. It wasn’t ideal for sleeping, but for once exhaustion was working in his favour, and he quickly nodded off against the stained seat.

2D drove them home with no problem. He’d worked as a driving instructor after all. At the very least his track record was better than Murdoc’s, and he was glad the bassist hadn’t insisted on driving them.

His eyes briefly glanced over to his sleeping partner. Murdoc had looked so drained when he first got in the car that Stu had been worried. But his therapist had asked him to work on avoiding quizzing the bassist on his every move. He knew that it wasn’t helpful and that half the time Murdoc didn’t know why he did what he did, but he was just so scared the older man would do something stupid, or get hurt, or--

He clenched his fingers around the steering wheel. That was another thing he needed to get a handle on. Because of his less than stellar past experiences with Murdoc, he tended to disasterize everything he was involved in. It was hard to stop himself, but if he was going to date the bassist, he had to try.

They pulled into the driveway of Wobble Street around 10 minutes later. 2D was feeling a lot calmer, the simple task of driving along familiar roads helped to wind down his brain. Murdoc was still sleeping, hunched up and drooling a little. Honestly, if it wasn’t freezing outside, he would have left Murdoc to sleep. But he didn’t want his boyfriend to freeze, so he carefully reached over and brushed his fingers through the other’s hair.

“We’re here, love,” he murmured, running the tips of his fingers down the angle of Murdoc’s cheek and jaw. The bassist scrunched his nose in irritation but still leaned into the touch. “Come’on, let’s get inside before my fuckin’ knob freezes off.”

Murdoc chuckled a little at that. “Don’t be crass.”

“Mmm I’ll show you crass later if you’re lucky,” 2D teased, getting out of the car himself and unlocking the front door. Murdoc was close behind.

“Hurry up, Stu. I need a drink,” the bassist griped. When they got inside he headed straight for the kitchen and the liquor cabinet. Stu wanted to be mad, but he knew Murdoc was struggling to cope the only way he knew how. Not that the singer could judge him, he’d finally been confronted with the reality of his pain-pill addiction when he ran out last week. With everything going on he’d allowed all his prescriptions to lapse. Luckily Murdoc was still able to write prescriptions with his degree and get the singer some before he went into withdrawal.

“Don’t spoil your dinner, Muds. Russel said he was going to make that mac and cheese recipe he found the other day.”

Murdoc ignored him, instead pulling out a bottle of dark liquor and a cup. To Stu’s surprise, he poured himself a glass and set the bottle back on the shelf. He raised his glass to 2D and took a sip, eyes falling shut.

“Ahh, that’s the stuff. Good year, this is.” He swirled it around in the glass, focusing on the light glinting off the alcohol. “Did you have any plans for the rest of the day?”

It was hard not to smile at his obviousness. “No, I don’t have any plans.” 2D watched as Murdoc slowly looked up to meet his eyes, a nearly invisible smile on his lips.

“D’you want to uh, watch TV, or somthin’?”

The Second Session - Murdoc

“... I don’t know why I did it.”

His therapist--he knew her name, but he felt weird using it--waited for him to continue. “I didn’t buy the place with the intention of everythin’ going so wrong.”

“Then why did you buy Plastic Beach, Murdoc?”

The Satanist thought back through the haze of alcohol and mental instability. “Well, it was the furthest place on Earth from anywhere else. Figured I could get some peace and quiet, after the uh, incident with Noodle.”

She jotted a few things down, going over the thing’s he’d told her before. “But you made yourself a companion, and you brought Stuart there.”

“The Cyborg doesn’t count. It couldn’t even talk, really. And I don’t rightly know how 2D got there,” he admitted. “Maybe it was me who kidnapped him, maybe it wasn’t. If I did, I don’t know how or why.”

“How long did you spend alone on the island?” Murdoc had a feeling she was leading him somewhere.

“6 months,” he answered quietly. They’d been 6 of the worst month of his life. At first, he’d been fine on his own, hosting his radio show, sprucing up the island. But slowly, surely, the guilt over El Manyana had eaten away at his mind until there was nearly nothing left.

“That’s a very long time to be alone, Murdoc. It must have been hard.”

He was getting worked up. There was tension in his shoulder and a sort of tingling in his fingers that meant he was holding on to the arms of the chair too tightly. Small things he wouldn’t have noticed before his therapist started pointing them out. Knowing the signs made it easier for him to head off his panic and calm down.

“It was,” he said after a deep breath. “It was jus’ me and my thoughts. I think I went a little mad, to be honest.”

“You had been through a traumatic experience and were experiencing the symptoms of PTSD, Murdoc. Those things were out of your control.” Except they weren’t. He’d caused the whole El Manyana thing without a doubt. His signature was on all the preplanning paperwork for the shoot.

“It was me who put her on that blasted flying island. It was me who put her in danger in the first place.”

“Have you ever asked Noodle how she feels about it?” Murdoc thought back. There hadn’t really been any time after the raid on Plastic Beach, and then they’d split up again. When they all got together at Wobble Street he’d started isolating himself in his room and avoided talking to anyone.

“No. Probably never really apologized either.” She nodded and waited again. Murdoc knew she wanted him to say more.

“You could go visit her. 2D said that he and Russel go quite often.” She already knew he hadn’t been going to visit Noodle, and what had happened the last time he’d tried.

“You know why I can’t.”

Their session was nearly over, and unease was starting to set in. Every week at the end she’d give him something to work on, and report back with the next week. The first time, it had been breathing, the second had been letting 2D know how he was feeling. He had an idea of what this week's might be.

“Why don’t you try writing her a note, and having one of the other’s delivering it to her. I know Stuart said she’s recovered enough to be interacting with her cellphone again,” she suggested. Instantly he paled and began to sweat.

“I-I don’t know what I’d say…” he stuttered. His therapist nodded as if she’d expected his response.

“You don’t have to start off with the big stuff. Why not tell her about your day, or what you want to do when she comes home?”

It sounded impossibly terrifying. But he’d try. Maybe Stu could help him write it up, the idiot was always good with writing sappy shite.

“Fine. I’ll g-give it a go. No promises though,” he added as an afterthought. She smiled knowingly.

“Trying is all I ask Murdoc. It looks like our time is up, however. I’ll see you next week then.”

He left the session feeling strange. In some ways, he was hopeful that he might be able to repair his relationship with Noodle and begin to process of getting better--whatever that meant. But in other ways, he was nearly paralyzed with the fear that that was impossible. Murdoc could feel himself begin to shake as he left the office. Not even the cool air could snap him out of it.

Come get me

All he could think about was getting somewhere safe where he could break down in private. With shaky hands he lit a smoke and practically inhaled it. In just a few moments it was down to the filter and he pulled it from his lips, watching the cherry die. In a split second action, he ground the ember against his other wrist. The burning centred him.

“Murdoc!” The twangy voice of his singer startled him out of his daze. Murdoc immediately dropped the butt and tamped it out. 2D was smiling at him from the driver's side and Murdoc was infinitely grateful that the singer hadn’t seen what he’d just done. Pulling his sleeve over burn he stalked over to the passenger side and got in.

“You’re shakin’ Muds,” the other said. 2D put the car in park and pulled the handbrake, twisting to face the bassist. Murdoc clenched his teeth to prevent himself from snapping at the singer to just drive. “D’you wanna talk about it?”

If he started talking about it he knew he’d start crying. And he really didn’t feel like crying in a parking lot in the middle of London. “Can we jus'... go home?”

2D shrugged. Murdoc focused on the way the seat felt against his back and how the heated air pumping from the dash was drying out his skin. It was hard to pull himself into the moment, to keep centred in the here and now instead of wallowing in the past. Memories of all the shitty things he had to make up for were piling up against his internal dam, nearly breaking through. Just as he felt himself slipping under the surface, 2D reached out and put his hand on Murdoc’s knee.

“We’ll be home soon,” he said with a reassuring smile. Murdoc covered the hand with his own and squeezed. He was here, he was with 2D, he was trying.

He was trying.

The Third Session - Murdoc

“--and I don’t bloody know what he expects! I told him! I told him to give me time and he--”

Murdoc was ranting as he paced back and forth in front of his therapist. He was completely incensed, beyond reason with anger and frustration. He did everything he was supposed to! The letter to Noodle took him hours to write--and tens of different version to get right--and that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was that he had to give it to 2D to give to Noodle, then wait for a reply. The entire process had been nearly too much for the bassist, but he’d done it.

And that sodding idiot Stuart had the nerve to tell him he wasn’t trying hard enough. That he wasn’t making progress.

“I-I though’ I was doin’ everythin’ he wanted me to!” he shouted, grabbing his hair and tugging as he paced. His therapist had been quiet from the moment he stepped into the office, letting him scream and vent as much as he needed to. She knew he’d run out of steam eventually, Murdoc’s anger was shallow but fierce when I came to his partner.

“Murdoc, could you try some of those breathing exercises we’ve been practising?” she asked gently. Until she pointed it out he hadn’t realized that he was wheezing, his chest tight with stress. Focusing on the rise and fall of his chest, Murdoc took a deep breath in through his mouth, then exhaled.

“Thank you. Now, could you tell me what exactly, 2D said that made you feel like his?”

Murdoc was still angry, his fists clenched tight enough that his nails were biting into his palm. He took a few more seconds, then sat in the chair opposite. “He’s been at me all week. ‘Oh Murdoc, yer drinkin’ too much!’, and ‘oi Muds, yew neva’ tell me how yer doin’!’,” he said, doing an impression of 2D.

“But I have been tellin’ him how I’m feelin’!” he continued. By now he was curled forward on the edge of his chair, fingers knitted behind his neck.

“Did you tell him that you felt that way?” she asked. Somehow it always felt like she was one step ahead of him, leading him to his own conclusions.

“I tried, at first. I don’t think he believed me when I said I was ‘fine’. But I really was!” He really had been doing alright a few times this week. But every time he answered that way, 2D would frown a little, like he thought the bassist was lying.

“And I’ll admit,” he said slowly, “I have been drinkin’ about the same as I always have. But I wasn’t passed out in the livin’ room or nothin’. But there he was every time I took a drink, frownin’ and grumblin’.”

“Thank you for being honest about your alcohol consumption, Murdoc,” his therapist said as he caught his breath again. Every time he got going the anger and anxiety would ramp up again, strangling him. “Can you explain how 2D’s actions made you feel?”

A brief pause. “He made me feel… I felt ignored. A-and like he was treatin’ me like I’m some fragile fuckin--gah!”

He jumped up to his feet again, restarting his journey from wall to wall. “I don’t soddin’ need his pity. Pity never got me anywhere, didn’t put food on the table or stop all those peop--” There were tears running down his face now, without his permission. He wiped them angrily. This wasn’t the first time he’d cried during a session, but it never got less humiliating.

“I am t-tryin’, I am,” he said, his voice choked. “He makes me f-feel like I’m n-not doin’ well enough. Like I’m never enough.”

“Can you focus on that?” she cut in. “Focus on where that feeling is coming from?”

He tried, he really did. But there wasn’t just one specific cause. There had never been a point in his life where he didn’t feel inadequate, didn’t feel like he wasn’t meeting expectations. Whose expectations? Murdoc had no idea.  He overcompensated with a loud and abrasive personality to cover up the insecurities underneath. It was easy to see why, after years of struggling with these feelings, it’s been so easy for 2D’s concern to drive him to the breaking point.

And he knew 2D cared about him, he really did. He didn't think the poor sod had it in him to lie about something like that. But he was so scared that if he didn't meet 2D's expectations 100% of the time, the singer would realize what a waste of time being with someone like Murdoc was. Fuck, he realized, he'd done it again.

“I-I--” he stuttered, running a hand down his face. “Fuck. I-I have to apologize to Stu.”

“For what?”

Murdoc was already grabbing his coat and throwing it on. “I was blamin’ him for somethin’ that wasn’t all his fault, as usual.” He had a hand on the door when he turned back to his therapist, still sitting in her chair.

“Uh, same time next week?” he asked. She nodded with a  slight smile and waved him out. Murdoc left the session feeling like he’d had some sort of breakthrough, though he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what it was.

[bastardnev]

That Guy Next Door -- Chapter 2

this chapter was supposed to be up Hours Ago why am i only able to post it now, i think im gonna start posting each chapter on here in the mornings before i go out because this is getting Ridiculous

ANYWAYS here’s the second chapter!! hope y’all enjoy it

tagging @tylerblacks @joonhobi @rivela @aliciasfox @sailor-slam-dunk @kidvoodoo @smolsammich @simulated-heat @douglas-leon-michael (lemme kno if you wanna be on my nev/moose tag list!!)

(link to ao3)

Prev.: Ch. 1 ♡

At first, Neville didn’t even realize what he was doing.

It had all started while he was sitting at his desk in the office, making a phone call to one of the higher ups and informing him of the meeting he was having later in the week. He dreaded whenever he would have to call this specific person. There was always something wrong with whatever Neville did for him — Neville would have some paperwork on his desk at 8:33 instead of 8:30 and that would be worth a lecture, he would complain that the day for a certain meeting didn’t work even though he had told Neville that it was the best time. No matter what he did or how hard he worked, nothing was ever right.

Once Neville had gotten an earful and hung up the phone twenty minutes later, he went to work correcting his latest ‘mistake’, searching for a more appropriate time. This time he was told to put the meeting on a Wednesday instead of a Thursday — God only knows what mysterious circumstances will force these plans to once again fall through. Unfortunately, that upcoming Wednesday was already full, so it was going to be put off even further. All for what? So this guy can cut out early again? Neville wished he was high enough in standing so that he could constantly leave early without any sort of punishment.

It was right as Neville was about to schedule the meeting for the following week that he found himself lost in thought. It wasn’t unusual for him to start daydreaming during work, especially when the task he was saddled with was as ridiculous as the one he was currently dealing with was, but this time was different. The subject wasn’t as typical as it usually was, not about something Wade said or what the girls did or what happened on a show he’d been watching the night before.

What does Mustafa do for a living?

Neville didn’t see anything wrong with wondering something as simple as that. Mustafa had been home a few days prior when Neville had gone to retrieve the girls’ ball, so clearly he didn’t work on Fridays. Maybe he’s a secreta-- administrative assistant too? That would explain the day off on a Friday. If this were the case, then did this mean that Mustafa worked in the same office building as him? He never recalled seeing him anywhere — perhaps he was on one of the lower floors?

No, that couldn’t be right. Mustafa had offhandedly mentioned working with children during their conversation. Neville’s job didn’t involve any children (unless you want to count his co-workers whenever the coffee machine was broken), so that theory was out.

Could he be a teacher, maybe? That seemed like a logical answer — it was a job that involved children, and since it was summertime it would explain why he wasn’t working. What school did he work for? Neville definitely would have remembered seeing him at dismissal when he went to pick Jen and Daisy up. He made a mental note to talk to the girls later that evening once he got home and see if either of them recognized him from their school.

Just as he finished that thought, however, he suddenly remembered that he had a job of his own that he needed to do. Neville hurriedly went back to working, making the almighty meeting official for next Wednesday and preparing himself for the next round of complaints that he was sure to get.

Neville pulled into the driveway of his home with a broad grin on his face. He was quite proud of himself for actually managing to avoid the rush hour traffic. He didn’t even have to leave a few minutes early — the roads were unusually clear despite the time of day. Chances are he wasn’t going to get that lucky again for quite awhile (if ever again), so he savored the moment while it lasted. And Wade didn’t think it was possible for me to actually get home at a decent time… Neville mused to himself. God, I love proving him wrong.

This moment of pride turned out to be short lived once he remembered that being home earlier meant that he was able to cook dinner that night. Son of a bitch…

It had become a running joke in the house that he was a mediocre chef at best, so he wasn’t looking forward to the teasing that he was bound to receive once he set foot in the kitchen. What should it be tonight? Neville tapped his fingers against the steering wheel as he contemplated his options. Whatever he made, it had to be something so simple that not even he could mess it up (which would prove to be quite the challenge seeing as he was completely inept when it come to cooking). Wonder if I’ll be able to use the microwave without it blowing up in my face.

As he went to remove the keys from the ignition, he saw that the lights were on in Mustafa’s house. Seeing as it was around dinner time, he figured that his neighbor was probably right in the middle of cooking, and his mind began to wander again.

I wonder how good of a cook he is. He wondered if Mustafa struggled in the kitchen as much as he did. Or perhaps he was actually quite skilled? Then again, Neville was exceptionally bad — the kind of person who would burn cereal if it were possible, so someone making a halfway decent meal was still better than whatever Neville made on his best night.

Either way, Neville didn’t have time to be dwelling on what Mustafa was getting up to, and he exited the car, already planning what he would get when he and the rest of his family would inevitably end up ordering takeout.

Neville had a perfectly good backyard, so why did Daisy and Jen insist on playing out in the front of the house?

They had both assured him that they would be fine, that they would run back inside the moment they thought they saw someone acting suspicious, but Neville still wasn’t completely sold, protective parent that he was. As such, on that Friday he set up his laptop in the living room so that he could keep an eye on them.

Work was proving to be the same nonsense as always — disagreements about times, pointless conversations where the participants forgot to remove Neville from their email exchanges, the usual. Doesn’t anybody have a job that they need to do? Neville thought, taking a pretzel out of the bowl that was sitting next to his laptop on the coffee table and popping it in his mouth. Or literally anything else besides distracting me?

At one point he had gotten up to go into the kitchen to refill his glass of water. As Neville was returning to the living room, he paused in front of the window to check on the kids. Before he even realized what he was doing, his gaze shifted to the house next door, where he noticed that Mustafa was standing outside on his porch. He was looking at the mail he had gotten that day, his brow furrowing. Even from his home Neville could still clearly make out the bright colors of the tacky junk mail that he received all the time. Not even he’s safe from that bullshit, huh?

Neville watched as Mustafa’s tongue poked out from between his lips as he focused on the envelopes in his hands, a slight breeze causing a strand of his hair to fall in his face. Neville couldn’t help but find himself staring at him, wondering if he was going to fix his hair or just let it hang. He had to admit that he did look good like that…

He received another email at that moment, his laptop making the all too familiar notification sound and snapping Neville out of his little daze. What the hell am I doing? Neville shook his head, scurrying back over to the couch. There wasn’t much time left in his shift, but he still couldn’t afford to be dawdling. He had work to do and pointless office gossip to read about. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking about his neighbor’s hair.

“Nev, could you do me a favor and grab me something from the grocery bag that I left by the front door?” Wade asked, standing at the stove and putting on a pot of water as he worked on that night’s dinner.

“Okay. Why didn’t you bring the bag in earlier, though?” Neville asked, standing up from the kitchen table.

“Because that was the bag that had the candy I bought for the girls in it. Jen insisted on looking through it right then and there. I never actually went back to get it.” Wade looked over his shoulder at him. “It’s got the box of spaghetti that I need.”

“Hope she wasn’t eating too many sweets before dinner… She’ll spoil her appetite.”

“God, Nev, you’re so boring sometimes.”

“Hush.”

Neville sauntered out into the hallway and spotted the brown paper bag sitting next to the front door, which was left partially open. Approaching it revealed that Jen and Daisy had once again decided on playing out on the front lawn. Neville wanted to be annoyed that they hadn’t asked for permission, but he decided to let it go and focus on what he’d been sent there to do.

He crouched down and began to dig around inside of the bag. Sure enough, there were many candy wrappers sitting inside of it. She’ll probably be too full for dinner now… Neville noted as he took one of the shiny wrappers in his hands. He shook his head and pushed them aside, finding the box of spaghetti sitting at the bottom and tugging it out.

“Whole wheat pasta?” Neville muttered under his breath as he read the label on the box. And Wade has the nerve to call me “boring”.

Neville turned to walk back to the kitchen when he suddenly stopped short in front of the window. Mustafa was in the middle of taking his garbage out to the curb. What’s he been up to all day? Neville didn’t recall seeing him leave his house at all that afternoon. Could he still be unpacking?

Neville noticed that he was wearing a hoodie — a dark green one that was entirely too big on him, no less. He couldn’t help but smile at how baggy it was on him, how he had to keep pulling up the sleeves to keep it from covering his hands. Why wouldn’t he wear something that was actually his size? And why’s he wearing a hoodie in the middle of August? It was oddly charming.

“What are you doing?”

“Huh—” Neville gasped, spinning around and finding that Wade was now standing directly behind him. “Jesus, Wade, don’t scare me like that!”

“You mean to tell me that you didn’t hear me coming? I was calling your name. You were taking an eternity, so I had to come find you.” Wade smirked. “Though now I understand why you were taking so long. You were just so lost in thought looking at the cutie next door that you didn’t even notice me.”

“Oh, wipe that look off your face, would you?” On the list of things that Neville wasn’t interested in looking at at that moment, it was the cocky expression that Wade always had on his face whenever he felt he’d been proven right. Neville turned away and went back to looking outside, focusing his attention back on what Mustafa was doing.

“And there you go again!”

“What? What am I doing that’s so wrong?”

“You keep gawking at him.”

“So?” Neville turned back around to face Wade if only to get him to shut up about his staring. “I’m just curious about Mustafa. I barely know him.”

“So why don’t you go talk to him then? Learn some more about him.”

“You know I can’t just do that. Do you have any idea how weird it would be if I randomly went over to his house and started asking him questions about his personal life? I’d rather speculate than do that. It’s less awkward that way.”

“Oh, Neville…” Wade sighed. “You’re impossible sometimes, you know that?”

“I do.” Neville handed over the box that he was still holding, pressing it against Wade’s chest. “Don’t you have cooking that you should be doing?”

Wade looked down at the box for a moment before slowly taking it from him, his gaze now focused on something outside. “So…” He began. “Let’s just say that the perfect opportunity for you and — Mustafa, you said his name was? — to talk arises. Would you take advantage of it?”

“I mean…” Neville crossed his arms, shrugging. “Yes, I suppose I would. But that won’t happen.”

“Are you sure about that? Because I think you might have a chance right now.”

“What makes you say that?”

“See for yourself.” Wade gestured to the window.

Neville furrowed his brow before turning back around, eyes widening. He was so distracted with Wade that he hadn’t been keeping an eye on the girls — they were both smiling and giggling as they shared a conversation with Mustafa about God knows what. “How long-- How long have they been talking?” Neville asked, transfixed by what he was looking at.

“Only a few minutes. They look like they’re having a pretty good time too.” Wade rested his chin on top of Neville’s head. “Maybe you should go see what’s up? Go see what they’re talking about.”

Neville chewed on his lip. He hadn’t expected that his excuse to talk to Mustafa again would sneak up on him so suddenly. What does he even say? Does he just ask what’s going on and then leave? Or does he stop to talk for a few more minutes? If he did the latter, then what would they talk about?

“Well?” Wade asked after a moment. “They look about ready to part ways. What do you say? You gonna do it or what?”

“I…” Neville said, nodding. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to go see what they’re up to.

Wade chuckled, patting his shoulder. “Go get ‘em, kid.”

Neville was left by himself in the hallway after that, Wade having retreated back into the kitchen, and he sighed. There wasn’t any backing out now, otherwise Wade would never let him hear the end of it. Well, here goes nothing…

He opened the door and went outside, heading over towards Mustafa and the kids and beginning to listen as parts of their conversation became clearer. “And she was the one who threw it!” Daisy said with a smile, pointing to her sister.

“And you were the one who made it go over the fence!” Jen insisted. “Trust me, it was all her fault.”

“Girls, are you still talking about this?” Neville asked, prompting the three of them to look at him. Neville couldn’t help but notice that the smile on Mustafa’s face had grown wider upon his arrival, and he smiled back before saying, “That was over a week ago.”

“But Mr. Mustafa should know about what Daisy did!”

“It’s your fault for throwing it!” Daisy said.

“It’s your fault for hitting it so hard!” Jen argued right back.

“Neither one of you are to blame,” Neville interrupted.

“So who’s fault is it then?”

“It’s, uh…” Neville clicked his tongue, thinking for a moment before continuing with, “My fault. I should have bought a house with a higher fence. Sorry ‘bout that.”

Both girls looked at him with frowns on their faces, though perhaps the reaction that had the biggest impact on Neville was Mustafa’s little snort. He couldn’t help but feel oddly proud knowing that he’d amused him.

“But Daddy,” Daisy said, “if you’d bought a bigger fence then you wouldn’t be able to see over it! You’re so short.”

Neville’s face went red, the sound of Mustafa laughing again causing him to grow even more embarrassed. “I’d find a way. Anyways, why don’t you two head inside and wash up? Wade’s getting dinner ready.”

“I’m not hungry,” Jen protested.

“He’s making spaghetti and meatballs.”

“...Actually? I changed my mind. I’m hungry now.” She skipped off towards the house, Daisy following close behind her.

Neville watched them go before looking at Mustafa, who was still smiling. “Uh… Kids, amiright?” He laughed a little nervously. “They just say the darndest things.”

“They’re cute, though,” Mustafa replied. “Jen looks a lot like you.”

“You think so? Everyone always says she looks more like her mother.”

“Well, I haven’t met your wife yet, so I can’t really compare.”

Neville felt himself tense up. “Actually, I’m… not married.” He scratched the back of his head, laughing a little nervously. “Not anymore, at least. We, erm, separated a few years ago.”

“Oh.” Mustafa’s eyebrows raised. “I’m sorry, I just assumed you were still together. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Don’t worry about it, you had no way of knowing.” Christ, why did Neville even bring that up in the first place? Mustafa wasn’t interested in hearing about his love life. He shouldn’t be dumping his relationship baggage on someone who was essentially a stranger.

They both fell silent. Neville was beginning to think that maybe he’d made a mistake sticking around for so long -- the conversation had become awkward, as he’d predicted. He had been given the opportunity to speak with Mustafa again, and he royally screwed it up. Way to go, Neville… You’ve really outdone yourself this time.

Mustafa cut him off his train of thought by saying, “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think you’re all that short.”

Neville laughed at that. “Gee, thanks. I don’t know why Daisy even said that.”

“I think she just likes to mess with you. It’s what kids do. I deal with kids like that all the time.”

“Oh? Do you have any of your own?”

“No, no. I work with them. I’m a teacher. First grade.”

“First grade? Oof.” Neville involuntarily shuddered. “I only have to deal with one first grader around here. I can’t imagine a whole class full of ‘em.”

“It’s fun, though. They, uh, always keep me on my toes.” Mustafa smiled a little sheepishly. “Never know what they’re gonna get up to next.”

“That’s pretty much what it’s like in my house. Just last week they were fighting over chicken tenders.” Neville clicked his tongue. “I didn’t realize that food could be so controversial.”

“Oh it definitely can be. Just this past spring two kids got into a fight over a pack of fruit snacks. In Noah’s defense they were his, but… he did say he would share them.” Mustafa shrugged. “It was a big mess.”

“Sounds like it. Y’know, I wanna say that fighting over food is a kid thing, but now that I think about it I’ve seen people in the office bust out some pretty brutal insults if it means getting the last donut.” Neville smirked. “Little did they know that while they were all fighting I snuck in and took it.”

“Ooh, sneaky!” Mustafa playfully nudged his arm. “You don’t strike me as being the type. You seem too good natured for that.”

“Pardon my language, but I can be a real bastard sometimes. Just ask Wade. He knows all about it.”

Mustafa’s brow furrowed. “Wade is…?”

“My friend. He lives downstairs, helps me with the girls sometimes. He’s a bit of a loser, but he’s a nice guy all things considered. He’s helped me through some rough times.”

“Okay, so he’s your friend.” There was a weird look on Mustafa’s face -- relief? Neville wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. “Just wanted to make sure.”

“Why? Is there something wrong with him being my friend?”

“No, definitely not! I just wanted to be one hundred percent sure that he was only your friend before… Well…”

“Well what?” Neville quirked up an eyebrow. Where’s he going with this…?

“I was just wondering… Are you free--”

“Nev!” Right before Mustafa could finish talking, Wade suddenly appeared in the front door, and both men looked at him. “I need you for a second.”

“For what?” Neville couldn’t quite place why, but he was suddenly filled with the urge to punch Wade in the face.

“I need help with dinner. Daisy keeps offering to help, but I don’t trust a six year old around a stove. Then again, you’re not much better, are you?”

“Wade!” Neville was expecting Mustafa to laugh at his expense again, but when he looked over at him he realized that he was actually staring down towards the ground, his face flushed. “I’ll be with you in a minute.”

“Don’t take too long. You know I’m not good at fending off small children.” Wade hurried back inside, leaving Mustafa and Neville alone again.

Neville looked back at his neighbor, clearing his throat. “I’m… I’m sorry for him. He has poor timing.”

“Yeeeeah.” Mustafa laughed, though it didn’t sound like a very happy laugh. “He really does.”

“What were you going to say?”

“Uh… nothing. It’s not important.” He shook his head. “Now’s not the best time to talk about it anyway. You should probably go help Wade out before the girls beat him up.”

Neville swallowed, inexplicably sad, his mouth dry. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll, uh, see you around?”

“Yeah.” He grinned. “I’ll see you, Adrian.”

Neville nodded at him before walking back towards his house. No matter how much he tried to will it away, this unusual feeling of dissatisfaction sat heavily in his stomach like a rock.

[alanajacksontx]

How to keep your ecommerce site error free

Due to the large number of pages involved, ecommerce sites can see striking SEO improvements when errors on those pages are addressed. Let’s talk about what you need to do in order to keep your ecommerce site error free, starting with some tools, then walking you through some processes.

Monitoring and crawling tools

Monitoring and crawling tools are necessary in order to identify technical SEO errors. I consider the following tools essential:

ScreamingFrog: This is, hands down, one of the best SEO spider available out there for most uses. You will need this, or something very similar, to handle most of the errors we will be discussing in this post.

Google Search Console: Make sure you set up an account here for your domain, since it will notify you of errors that crawlers won’t necessarily be able to find.

Google Analytics: Check your analytics regularly for unexpected drops in organic search traffic, since these can point you to errors that you won’t necessarily find otherwise.

I also recommend using these tools to check for SEO various issues:

W3C Validator: Use this to validate the code on your homepage and page templates. You want to ensure your HTML is valid so the search engines can read it properly. Use it to validate your XML sitemaps as well.

WebPageTest: Use it to test how fast your pages are loading and which elements on your pages contribute the most to slowing down the site load.

MxToolBox DNS Check: Check for any DNS issues and talk to your host about any errors you find here.

Pingdom: Monitors your site uptime so you are notified if your site isn’t loading or has reliability issues.

SSL Labs Test: Make sure your SSL is working properly and isn’t deprecated.

404s (missing pages)

Missing pages hurt the user experience for obvious reasons, but they also hurt your SEO. Links that point to 404 pages throw away their authority.

To identify 404 pages, start by running a site crawl in ScreamingFrog. After finishing the crawl, go to “Response Codes,” then select “Client Error (4xx)” from the “Filter” dropdown menu.

Now export the list for later.

These are your high priority 404 errors, because they are missing pages that have been linked to from other pages on your own site.

For each page, identify whether there is a suitable replacement. If so, you will need to run a search and replace operation on your site to replace all references to the 404 page with the suitable replacement.

If there are no suitable replacements, you will need to remove links to the page so that there are no more broken links.

Additionally, you will need to set up 301 redirects from the missing pages to their replacements.

Do not merely set up 301 redirects without updating the links. Links that pass through 301 redirects lose some SEO authority to Google’s damping factor, and redirects put load on your servers.

Next you will need to identify your “lower priority” 404 pages. These are missing pages that you aren’t linking to from your own pages, but that other sites are linking to. This could be the result of old pages that you have removed, or it could be that the sites linking to you used the wrong URL.

You can find these in the Google Search Console by going to “Crawl” followed by “Crawl Errors” in the left navigation:

  Choose “Not Found” and export your 404s.

Weed out the duplicate 404s that you have already addressed from ScreamingFrog. Now identify if any of these have a suitable replacement. If so, set up a 301 redirect to send users to the appropriate page.

Do not simply set up an all-encompassing rule to redirect all visits to missing pages so that they go to the homepage. This is considered a soft 404. Google does not like them, and they are the subject of our next section.

Soft 404s

A soft 404 is a missing page that doesn’t show up as a 404 to Google. Google explicitly warns against soft 404s, which come in two forms:

“Page Not Found” pages that look like 404s to users, but that return a success code and are indexable by the search engines.

301 or 302 redirects to unrelated pages, such as the homepage. A redirect is meant to send users to the new location of a page, not to an off-topic page that will disappoint them.

Too many of either will hurt your authority with the search engines.

You can find soft 404s in the Google Search Console, also within the “Crawl Errors” section.

To resolve soft 404s, you may:

Remove a site-wide redirect policy that redirects all visits to missing pages to the homepage

Ensure that your missing pages properly return 404 status codes.

Institute a page-specific redirect if a suitable replacement is available.

Re-institute the page so that it is no longer missing. If you don’t know what was previously at the URL, you can use the Wayback Machine to see what used to be on the page, assuming it was crawled.

Allow the page to return a 404 status code if there are no suitable replacements, but be sure you are not linking to the page anywhere on your own site.

Do not get greedy with your redirects in an effort to capture PageRank, or you will send a message to the search results to treat your 301 pages like 404s.

Redirects

Before tackling anything else, you want to ensure that your site does not have any redirect chains or loops. These are series of redirects, where one redirect leads to another, etc. This bleeds PageRank through Google’s damping factor and creates server load. Redirect loops make pages inaccessible.

Replace any redirect chains with redirects directly from the relocated page to the new location.

Once you’ve addressed this, use  ScreamingFrog to identify your 301 and 302 redirects.

Start by addressing your 302 redirects, since these are supposed to be temporary. If any of them are actually permanent, they should be changed to 301 redirects so that the redirected page doesn’t remain in the index. Checking your 302s can also serve as a reminder to remove temporary redirects and reinstate forgotten pages.

After handling your 302s, the next step is to remove any links to redirected pages from your site, and replace them with links to the correct location. There are very few circumstances in which you actually want to link to a redirected page, since PageRank is lost through the redirect and server load is created. Use a search and replace operation to accomplish this.

Canonicalization

Canonicalization is a method of dealing with duplicate pages, which are very common for ecommerce sites. Canonicalization tells the search engines which version of the page to treat as the legitimate one. We talked about it in detail in our ecommerce SEO guide here, but these are some guiding principles:

Use canonicalization to address any URL variables that re-sort or filter the content without otherwise changing it.

Canonicalize any pages that are duplicated because they are listed in multiple categories.

Any paginated content should be canonicalized to a non-paginated full version.

Pages that are personalized based on the user should canonicalize to a non-personalized version.

To identify pages that may need canonicalization, use ScreamingFrog to identify duplicate title tags:

These are very often, though not always, duplicates of the same page.

Noindexing

Many ecommerce sites often have thousands or more pages, and quite a few of them may be very low in quality or content. Many may be very similar to one another without being pure duplicates. Many may feature manufacturer copy that is identical to what will be found on other ecommerce sites.

In some cases, then, it is a good idea to noindex some of your pages. Noindexing tells the search engines to remove the page from the search results. The noindex tag is thus a very dangerous toy to play with, and it’s important not to overuse it.

Here are a few pages that should definitely be noindexed:

Any admin or membership areas

Any part of the checkout system

“Thank you” or payment confirmation pages

Internal search results

A few warnings:

Never use “nofollow” on your own links or content. Always use <META NAME=”ROBOTS” CONTENT=”NOINDEX, FOLLOW”>. The “nofollow” tag tells the search engines to throw away your PageRank. It is never a good tag to use on your own content.

Do not canonicalize and noindex a page. Google has warned explicitly against this. In a worst case scenario this will noindex your canonical page, even if the noindex tag is only on the duplicates. More likely, it will treat the canonical tag as a mistake, but this means any authority shared between the duplicates will be lost.

HTML compliance

We mentioned earlier that you should run the W3C validator on your homepage and template pages to ensure you don’t have any serious html errors. While html errors are common and Google is fairly good about dealing with them, it’s best to clean up errors to send the clearest message possible to the search engines.

Use batch validation to check a larger number of pages.

Schema.org

Schema is a must for ecommerce sites because it allows you to feed the search engines useful meta data about your products like user ratings and prices that can lead to rich results in the search engines featuring star ratings and other stand out features.

Review Google’s literature on rich results for products and include the proper schema to make it work. This schema code generator is useful for easily putting together the code for your templates, and you can test if your pages properly support rich results using Google’s own tool here.

Conclusion

Technical SEO is important in any industry, but due to the massive size of ecommerce sites, it is even more relevant for retailers. Keep your errors under control and your organic search traffic numbers will thank you.

Manish Dudharejia is the President and Co-Founder of E2M Solutions Inc, a San Diego Based Digital Agency that specializes in Website Design & Development and eCommerce SEO. Follow him on Twitter.

from IM Tips And Tricks https://searchenginewatch.com/2018/07/04/how-to-keep-your-ecommerce-site-error-free/ from Rising Phoenix SEO https://risingphxseo.tumblr.com/post/175598911565

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Can any individual corroborate the "real stories" contained by the Condition Farm Insurance coverage commercials? I won't be able to and I never imagine they can any. Yeah, they're all real. If you are inquiring me if I was in the commercial and it materialize "exactly" like the commercial, then no, I won't be able to Validate them. On the other hand, I DO know empire who have been contained by...

Can any individual verify the "real stories" surrounded by the Condition Farm Insurance coverage commercials? I question it cause Condition Farm sucks!! I'm out about $ten,000 for damages they would not spend for. I've be with Condition Farm for about 20 many years and now when I involve their assistance they never want to do anything at all. I never know if there...

Can any individual assistance out me discover commercial Insurance coverage Vendors that protect NYC nouns? I need to have to transform insurance suppliers and i would currently like to know of some folks that can offer insurance for us....it is a modest bureau room with only about ten-15 workers Indeed, a neighborhood, unbiased agent. You can discover a full bunch of them contained by...

Can any individual reccommend an commercial insurance supplier for a mid-sized business of in the region of 400 million surrounded by sale? and 400 workers? If any individual has experience inside acquiring commercial insurance that is all appropriate in value but extensive in protection quantities,,,, I would take pleasure in your details.... Many thanks No, for the reason that not a soul right here has...

Can my tenant demand for home import tax and insurance inwardly CAM prices on my commercial lease? I have my individual small business insurance. it is dependent on the terns of your lease. You need to have to read through that doc alertly. NOT satisfactory facts offered Go through your lease carefully. Dispute it, offer evidence of your individual protection Indeed they can. I wish...

Can someone e-mail me a blank Acord commercial insurance permit as a Term doc? Could...but Will not. Wow...mb, can you Believe this?!!? You get in touch with for to get 1 of them from your insruance agent with adjectives of the correct blanks accomplished. This is NOT something that you can do. Your agent desires to do this...

Can a person who is not nominated on insurance drive a 15 passenger commercial van? you need to have a chauffeurs license if it really is employed for commercial uses...but you could drive it Relies upon on the insurance on the van (and the driver's insurance). Some insurance guidelines have restrictions that say aloud only specific motorists are lined, even though some others will singular protect a...

Can a person who labored for a bonding agency ethically enunciate that they labored inside commercial insurance? NO... In nouns, a bond is a personal debt security, in which the authorized issuer owes the holders a personal debt and is indebted to repay the principal and fascination (the coupon) at a later on date, termed later on existence. Source(s): http://ift.tt/2t64s3m No if they do...

Can you label my beloved commercial? Hint: it really is an insurance commercial.? Geico. I hoped it may possibly have been Progressive. But I guess due to the fact Geico is so popular, that should your favortie commericial. Geico....the geeko and the cavemen..yeah http://ift.tt/2s7ZsxS There are just procedure also many Geico one's to name. I approaching the 1 in which he's in the...

Can not Allstate Insurance coverage win sued by Geicko Insurance coverage motive they breed enjoyment of them contained by at hand commercials? okay. by now we all know that geicko is popular insurance business. have any individual else observed allstate would seem to other set down geicko in there commercials? lol won't be able to they carry sued for that? its ridicules if you check with me. Effectively, they...

Motor vehicle Insurance coverage (Nationwide?) Business beside human slingshot? ke Joe's Crab Shack and Slingshot Launch New Advert Idea Nationwide Slingshot filmed the commercial on-website at Joe's to capture the uniquely vivid ... Workforce Administration/Human Assets. Roll about the one-way links at moved out to see ... http://ift.tt/2t5TBWQ 67k - Cached * Have a...

Motor vehicle insurance commercial be black guy make funny motor sounds? i saw it these days. but idk the guys name. he makes interpretations for the coupé insurance buyer. the black guy makes funny auto sounds The guy is Michael Winslow. He performed Narvelle Jones in the police academy motion pictures. I caught his stay act 1 time and he have folks...

Motor vehicle insurance commercial (spanish)? Im accomplishing a spanish project. I need to have to repeat some phrases from the commercial Allstate in spanish. i never want any approaching movies. just what related to he generally states. thankfulness i imagine you really should research at google... if you want an short article, you can discover it at http://ift.tt/2s891No? it is terrific short article website... hope...

CARGO VAN Business Insurance coverage? Hello...I have a transforming small business and I'm shelling out $1800 a year to insure my cargo van commercially. I also keep a auto for which I'm shelling out only $600 a year to insure it. I are inclined to drive my motor 3 times as much as my van I imagine I'm remaining robbed beside the commercial insurance. Does...

Least expensive commercial insurance for own courier? I Bought an give to deliver deals employing my individual truck for a neighborhood business i will make anyplace from 600 to 900 a week beside a ordinary of about a thousand miles driving, im in columbus ohio and im wanting for the most affordable commercial insurance. i take pleasure in a 2002 ranger i have to have Liability...

Chinese track from a commercial give or acquire a few insurance?? Chinese gentleman sees a lady in the road falls or something even though wanting at her and breaks his appendage,then turns out to have her as a nurse when he go in for x-rays and they give respectively other puppy eyes and blah blah blah whatsoever I need to have the track! I...

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